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starspangledbigbang · 4 years ago

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Welcome to the 2021 Star Spangled Big Bang!

The Star Spangled Big Bang is a chance for writers and artists to collaborate and create stories paired with artwork, all of which will focus on the members of Team Cap from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Authors sign up to write stories that are 10k words or longer. Artists then claim stories and create art inspired by them. Creations may be canon, canon divergent, or AU. They must be centered around at least one character from the MCU’s Team Cap/Cap Quartet. All pairings as well as gen fic are welcome.

Friday 5 March - Author & Artist sign-ups open

Friday 2 April - Author sign-ups close

Friday 21 May - Author Check-in

Friday 4 June - Artist sign-ups close, Author summaries due (5k of fic complete)

Sunday 6 June - Author summaries available for preview

Friday 11 June - Claims open, Partnerships announced

Friday 2 July - Author & Artist Check-in #1

Friday 9 July Sat 17 July - Beta Claims

Friday 6 August - Author & Artist Check-in #2, Posting Date Claims

September - Posting period

Content Guidelines

Every creation must be centered around one or more characters from the MCU’s Team Cap or the Cap Quartet. This includes Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, and Sharon Carter.

Any and all ratings are welcome, as well any setting, be it canon, canon divergent, or AU. Authors will be able to outline their preferences on rating, do-not-wants, and collaboration interest level if desired so that artists may take that into consideration when choosing what stories they’d like to collab with.

Please be mindful of portraying marginalized communities respectfully. This page from Writing With Color has a list of blogs and resources that discuss diversity in writing. Any creations that sympathetically portray hate groups or actively promote racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. will not be accepted.

All fics must be edited, beta read, and legible. All content must be thoroughly and appropriately tagged.

Code of Conduct

Please be respectful of your fellow participants, including your mods. This event is designed to be inclusive regarding characters, ships, kinks, etc. and therefore we will not allow kinkshaming or ship/character bashing within event spaces. We are a diverse community and will not tolerate any racism, transphobia, homophobia, harassment, or general inappropriate behavior towards the mods or your fellow participants.

We want to ensure that all participants have a comfortable experience within the event. If your content or conduct does not align with the guidelines and the spirit of the bang, we will do everything possible to foster conversation and resolve the issue on a case-by-case basis. However, the final decision on how to proceed will ultimately be up to the mods. Please remember that the mods are fans just like you, doing this for fun in their spare time to share more Team Cap love.

What sort of content am I committing to if I sign up?

Authors will be required to create one original, cohesive story with a minimum of 10k words (no maximum). Artists will claim one or more stories (depending on the number of sign ups we receive, as well as artist interest) and create one piece inspired by that story. Each collab team will be required to create a banner for the master post as well.

What sort of artwork is acceptable?

All art must be visual, original art. By original art, we mean that the final product must be an original product of the artist. Using photos for reference is fine, and you can use whatever traditional or digital medium you require, so long as the art starts and finishes as your own product. Photo manips are allowed as long as they have been significantly edited, via Photoshop or other programs, to clearly resemble original art. Hit up the mods if you need clarity on an idea.

What ships are allowed?

Any prominent ships featured must include one or more characters from the MCU’s Team Cap or the Cap Quartet (Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, and Sharon Carter.) They may be paired with any other characters, but the Team Cap character(s) should be the main focus of the story. Other than that note, we welcome any and all ships for the main pairings, including polyamorous ships, queerplatonic ships, and genfic. All side pairings are welcome as well.

What canons & universes are allowed?

Any canon or universe is allowed as long as it features one of the specified Team Cap characters. This includes any movies, comic runs, cartoons, etc. as well as non-canon AUs. So, if you wanted to write Planet Hulk Steve or Avengers Assemble Natasha or mermaid Sam, that’s perfectly acceptable!

Are there any age restrictions for participation?

Sorry, but yes. You’ve got to be 18 or over to participate.

Can I use a work that I’ve published previously, or that’s been sitting in my drafts for 3 years?

For this fest, we need all original content, none of which has been published previously. That being said, authors, if you’ve got an outline or a draft that’s been hanging around your WIP folder for too long, now’s the perfect time to dust it off and finish it! Since the art is meant to be inspired by the story, artists must start their work from scratch.

What if a friend and I want to work together?

Writing teams are welcome, but since claims will be anonymous, no author/artist team sign ups will be allowed.

How will claiming work?

Authors will create slides with information on their stories. Claims will take place at the halfway mark, and authors must have a minimum of 5k words written to be considered for claims.

The mods will compile the author submissions anonymously to share with the artists prior to claims. Once claims open, artists will submit their choices via Google forms.

Where are the submissions going to be hosted?

All submissions will be posted on AO3. We will also promote all creations on Tumblr and Twitter.

What if I can’t finish on time, will I get an extension?

We’ll have plenty of check-ins to make sure that you will indeed finish on time! If you’ve got any concerns, the mods will work with you to find a solution on a case-by-case basis. We will also enlist the help of artist pinch hitters if necessary. If you drop before claims, there will be no penalty; however if you ghost us after claims and leave your partner hanging, we’ll take that into account for participation in future events depending on the circumstances.

Can I post work-in-progress snippets on my personal blog?

Prior to claims, all snippets and sneak peeks must be shared anonymously on the starspangledbigbang account; the mods will assist in this process. Once claims are done, you will be able to announce your team and share snippets on your personal blog, as you create. Please keep snippets to 500 words or less, and roughly ⅓ or the artwork or less.

Can the fic &/or art also count towards a bingo fill?

Yes, we will allow cross-posting within bingo-style events, as long as your partner is comfortable. If your partner would prefer to keep your creation to this event only, then we would ask you to respect their wishes. We also ask that all cross-posting be done in good faith and within the spirit of our content and conduct guidelines.

I can’t sign up, but I still want to participate, what can I do?

No worries, there are lots of ways for you to help support the Big Bang! Follow us on Twitter and Tumblr; reblog, comment, and share our posts to spread the word. We’ll also be asking for help with beta reading, pinch hitting, and other cool ways for you to get involved!

Where can I find event info?

Info on the SSBB will be posted on Tumblr (@starspangledbigbang) and Twitter (@starspangledbb), with a collection on AO3. We will also have a Discord for participants.

Who are the mods?

Your friendly SSBB mods are bangyababy, Call_Me_Kayyyyy, HeyBoy, nachodiablo, and velociraptorerin.

I’ve got more questions, help!

No problem, we’re happy to hear from you! Ping us on one of the social media sites above, or email starspangledmods at gmail dot com.

(updated 07/09/2021)

#rules #faq #ssbb2021 #schedule

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taylizmasterpost · 4 years ago

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The Speak Now Tour Begins (February 2011 - May 2011)

Now while the Speak Now tour technically doesn’t start until February, it kicks off in January on the Allure of Seas Cruise Ship, where Taylor, Liz, and Caitlin perform Better Than Revenge for the first time:

As you can see, there’s not much choreography, making me think that the choreography there ends up being is partially created by these three, and making it far more interesting due to the amount of TayLiz interactions in the final product.

1 February 2011 - Taylor releases the music video for Back to December. The secret message for Back to December was TAY, which is one of Liz’s favorite nicknames for Taylor.

In the music video, Taylor sits alone, fully clothed, in a bathtub, reminiscing on past times. Could this perhaps be a reference to this picture from the Gay Australia Trip? (Maybe... or maybe it’s just a reach).

In the music video, Taylor also puts a note she’s been writing throughout the MV into the pocket of her ex’s jacket. This is really intriguing to me, since Sad Beautiful Tragic has a lyric that goes “long handwritten note, deep in your pocket.” Is Taylor perhaps trying to signal that these songs are related and/or about the same muse?

During the Speak Now tour, Taylor mashes up Back to December with Apologize and You’re Not Sorry. Together, these songs tell the story of Taylor going to her ex to apologize, and them telling her it’s too late and they’ve moved on. Now, maybe it’s just me, but this sounds an awful lot like where TayLiz are in their relationship right now:

youtube

February 2011 - Emily gets engaged. Taylor goes to Liz Rose for help with All Too Well and the first draft of the All Too Well lyrics are written in the Lover diaries. Many people have theorized this means All Too Well is about Emily. But, once again, I think Liz makes more sense based on the timing of the writing and my very strong belief Taylor wouldn’t have written a song this romantic about Emily in a post-Dear John world.

6 February 2011 - Liz tweets the lyrics to Ragged Company by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. If you remember, Liz went to see Grace Potter with Jason the summer before:

What I find interesting about her tweeting this is that the lyrics reference a fear of getting old, something that you might remember she tweeted about in that weird vague tweet back when Taylor was dating Jake:

Oh, lord it’s lonely, lord it’s mighty cold And I don’t want to live this way Afraid of growing old

9 February 2011 - Speak Now tour kicks off in Singapore. TayLiz take photos with fans in Chinatown:

16 February 2011 - Speak Now in Tokyo. TayLiz play around and make changes to the BTR choreography:

19 February 2011 - Speak Now in Manila:

27 February 2011 - Taylor attends the Vanity Fair Oscar party and is spotted by a Washington Post reporter talking with Jake. Here’s what they had to say about what was overheard:

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal, recently broken up, huddle in a nook by the bathrooms, under the forlorn gaze of a portrait of Greta Garbo. Gyllenhaal is using words like "care" and "feel." It is not a good spot to linger.

Considering this is an anecdote in an article full of celebrity anecdotes and did not so much as make a headline, this does not feel like something planted by a publicist to me -- further indication that there was something real to Jake that is now over.

March 2011 - All Too Well is finished in the Lover Diaries:

6 March 2011 - Taylor posts this picture that, according to the Swift Agency website, was taken by Liz:

15 March 2011 - Speak Now in Milan, Italy. Some choreography is starting to form, but it’s mostly still just TayLiz playing around and getting all up in each other’s faces:

16 March 2011 - Taylor diaries about concerns involving her career and the Mean MV. She was possibly worried about including a gay storyline, considering we know from Miss Americana the pushback she gets whenever she wants to do something political. It was likely worse at this point, since she was still heavily attached to country:

19 March 2011 - Taylor cuts Liz’s hair. Liz tweets about it.

TayLiz then go to a Katy Perry concert with Grant and Caitlin.

21 March 2011 - TayLiz are papped in London getting dinner at Benihana and looking cozy:

25 March 2011 - Speak Now in Belfast, Ireland. TayLiz get CLOSE during BTR:

28 March 2011 - Liz tweets that her favorite Katy Perry song is Thinking of You (probably thinking about the concert the other week).

Just look at the lyrics:

Comparisons are easily done Once you’ve had a taste of perfection I guess second-best is all I will know ‘Cause when I’m with him, I’m thinking of you Thinking of you, what you would do if You were the one who was spending the night I wish that I was looking into your eyes

ISN’T THAT APPROPRIATE? Again, could just be because she likes the song and heard it at the concert the week before, but I don’t know… It seems pretty loud…

1 April 2011 - Taylor tweets a joke about Liz:

4 April 2011 - Taylor wins Best Entertainer at the ACMAs. Liz tweets about it:

5 April 2011 - Taylor goes on Jay Leno and talks about cutting Liz’s hair. Interestingly enough, she calls her a “hipster.” (Indie record that’s much cooler than mine tease?)

youtube

7 April 2011 - Taylor covers White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons:

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This is a really interesting choice given Liz’s recent recommendation of Thinking of You. It almost reads as the opposite perspective of that song. Let’s look at the lyrics:

Can you lie next to her and give her your heart? Your heart, as well as your body? And can you lie next to her and confess your love? Your love, as well as your folly? But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart? You desired my attention but denied my affections

To me, this totally sums up the story of TayLiz up to this point. The flirting, the attention, things never really seeming serious between them until Liz got a boyfriend, and then after that still toying with the idea of being with each other. But maybe Taylor just liked the song. Or was trying to get Dianna Agron’s attention by wearing the same dress she wore on Glee and singing a song by a band she likes. Who knows?

23 April 2011 - TayLiz get coffee:

25 April 2011 - Taylor sends Liz an Easter card:

Now, with all of this TayLiz going on, you would think Liz had quietly broken up with Jason. But nope, he’s still around.

CONCLUSION: This is going to be a problem, since things are staring to heat up in TayLiz land (especially during Better Than Revenge). If the songs they’re into are any indication, Taylor and Liz both want to get back together. The only thing standing in the way is Jason... And he won’t be around for very much longer.

The End of Liz’s Relationship (May 2011 - August 2011)

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goldenraeofsun · 4 years ago

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‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise? I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this?

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick. Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

“I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #fanfic #teacher castiel #teacher dean #established relationship #fluff #text fic #the story of us verse #profoundnet #rae writes fic

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taekooktimeline · 4 years ago

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Okay so, that's not exactly a question related to taekook, but, I was curious to know: how did both of you decided to make a timeline and to work together to do it? How did you two met? Sorry if it's too personal!

Sara: Hi ! You’re so cute. It’s not a very personal story :P Back in April I was writing under a tweet about some Taekook-related theories of mine. Kayla then popped up and we started a conversation. Here is the thread although I changed some of my opinions after further research (like the gcf topic): https://twitter.com/taeggukstime/status/1252218411771453441?s=21. It eventually led us into DM’s to discuss things further in a private setting. We talked a looot as we tried to figure out Taekook’s relationship evolution and it led us to some conclusions. Kayla then thought it was a good idea to immortalize it by creating a little Timeline so I agreed to do it because she was very sweet and articulated, a huge taekooker and I enjoyed talking with her, although I had doubts about it because I didn’t want to spend too much time on something that I thought nobody would read. I’ve always been happy being an observer that didn’t really engage with the fandom other than voting, going to concerts and such. My experience was more so between me & BTS and I felt iffy about fandom interaction because I saw all the drama and I’m not a social person (I used to have huge social anxiety and can take a month to reply to a real life friend’s text). Kayla told me she was in contact with a youtuber and would get us promo but for some reason I still didn’t think people would be interested. Anyhow, we initially made a 10 page long document on Word with no pictures that covered the entire 7 years 😂 That was the very first version of what it is today and it was simply a basic explanation of our take on their evolution with some important mentions instead of a compilation of moments. It turned out that we still had like a couple of months until Peach started making her video so we began including more “mentions” of moments that supported the theory and it basically got out of hand to the point that we were rushing to cover the maximum amount of moments before the day of promo. I was so stressed that I was basically eating once a day for a while. You know that finding a single tricky date in which something was filmed can take me 6 hours straight or a couple days? Just the date. Sometimes I have to resort to looking at their earrings as the last option because we had to know the exact order to some key events. Mind you, this was during total lockdown so I had stopped working and couldn’t leave my house even if I wanted to. Luckily we had greater success than I expected even if we aren’t huge influencers and I’m extremely happy that people take the time to read such a long document and furthermore helps them find comfort or they find it eye-opening. Thank you for your appreciation!! 💜

Kayla: hello! This isn’t personal at all! In fact, I’m touched you’d like to know more about us ☺️can you believe I’ve never met Sara in real life? We’re in different countries, an ocean away. I love our synergy so much and the power of technology amazes me. We make a great team. As Sara said, we met through Twitter. I was looking up info on various topics and she was so helpful and answered. We were talking publicly and I asked if I could DM her to discuss further. Within DMs we started organically brainstorming a timeline of TK’s relationship and then I thought we did such a good job we should immortalize it. Peachlesslyyy is an amazing TK YouTube account, who I consider a friend, and I’ve supported her account since before it really took off (and wow has her account grown! She deserves all the love and support). Before my anxiety got the best of me, I’d interact more freely in YT channels, especially in Peach’s YT account because she’s a great moderator whose followers are fantastic at brainstorming and debating respectfully. And at one point I mentioned Sara and I were drafting a timeline. People were interested in seeing it and Peach generously offered to share it on her community tab. She was planning to make a timeline video so it was perfect timing to share what we were seeing. Our little Word doc without pics suddenly evolved to host pics and links to moments, and transitioned to google docs where we could more easily edit. We quickly hurried to add as much as we could. Peach never rushed us but since people were eager we hurried to get it out, which meant the original doc didn’t cover nearly the amount it does now. As you can see in “recent additions”, so much has been added since we unlocked the doc for public viewing. And we hope to add more when we have time! We have quite a bit pending in our private brainstorm doc to review as we can. There’s definitely quite a bit to add ☺️anyway, we never expected the timeline to get the traffic it did and it just blossomed from there, with us adding more moments, updating as we can and creating a tumblr that's more user friendly, while still updating google docs (and it’s all thanks to Sara for finding tumblr and figuring out the nuances of it). Now that we don’t have time constraints, we can review moments at our own pace, around our personal lives, and we can use raw links vs analysts videos as much as possible (or raw + analyst -if we want a moment slowed down or zoomed in then an analyst channel helps greatly, even if we don’t endorse said channel being used). Nona Pocha is also another TK YouTube account who I consider a friend, and who helped promote the timeline when we got it transitioned to tumblr. She has been a great supporter who has cheered us on. I’m incredibly grateful to both for giving our timeline the promotion to grow and reach other taekookers. It helped so much. And I’m just beyond shocked and grateful for the love and support we get for this timeline. Hearing it’s logical and objective, full of love and respect to all members, and is a source of comfort / eye opening is amazing feedback that touches me. Hearing people are recommending it is heartwarming. This is our baby but it's a labor of love. It takes a lot of effort to keep it up and be as objective as possible (which requires a lot of reviewing of the footage then back checking each other). The support truly is the motivation to keep going, knowing people care to hear our thoughts. So thank you for being a supporter and reader💜

#discussions #taekooktimeline #asks

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bexical · 4 years ago

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April ‘21

Okay, monthly updates. I can do this.

I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month! I mentioned last time that I wanted to do a rewite of Soul, and I decided to try to focus on that this month. I hear that finishing projects (as opposed to 1: getting distracted by side projects and 2: forever striving for ‘perfect’ as opposed to actually 'completed’) is an important skill to practice and develop, and I figured this was a good way to do so.

Of course, a little more than a week in and I don’t think I’m doing quite what I set out to do. I did work on it for a bit and make some good progress, but then I got distracted and returned to Fireflower for a bit (I’ve got a fun fight scene I’m working on - first fight scene I’ve actually sat down and written since I started taking MMA classes. The emotions in one particular scene in Raya and the Last Dragon have been perfect inspiration also). Then I picked up a draft of a poem I’d started some time ago - and while working on a stanza for that, I conceived a whole new poem. So much for practicing focus and finishing projects :P

That’s not entirely true though. I did actually finish that second poem (or a…sixish-th draft of it?) - if I’m feeling courageous, I’ll post that soon.

What else is new…

I’ve discovered how much I love writing on pen and paper, especially outside in the sunlight. It’s tricky - my body does a shit job at staying warm when I’m not moving so I get very cold sitting there, and when I’m out I don’t have wifi to stream music beyond what I’ve downloaded onto my phone - but it really is such a nice feeling. It’s not just that I’m more free of distraction (though that certainly helps) - there’s also the way scribbling the words feels that is… different, somehow from typing. (I don’t know the word to describe the difference. For some reason, my brain has descended upon the word 'vistruously’, which is of course not a real word. the word was VISCERALLY. figured it out the next day =P)

I’ve also been playing Disco Elysium - i.e. I played it with a friend, then decided to purchase it myself and play through it again in French to practice the language. It’s actually really great for practicing a language, since you can switch the text between two languages instantly, allowing you to compare the text easily. (Unfortunately, it doesn’t have Japanese, which I’d also love to practice with Disco Elysium. Alas.) One fun aspect is how the characters aren’t the most clean-mouthed, which means I get to see how people curse in French: I’ve learned the equivalent of 'fuck’, which is 'putain’ (transliterates to 'whore’) and sadly does not seem to partake in expletive infixation to the same extent as 'fuck’, if at all. The favorite French thing I’ve learned though is probably the translation of “Have you found anyone to be sweet to?”, which is “Avez-vous trouvé chaussure à votre pied?”, which in turn transliterates to “Have you found a shoe for your foot?”

Beyond the use it provides in language learning, I of course have thoughts about the game that I’ll hopefully write up and post here soon. One thought in particular is that it’s a really interesting way to tell a story. To briefly describe the game: it’s an RPG, playing a specific character (as opposed to a fairly generic blank slate). Your skills are customizable but are still personalized to the character: the best example is probably Inland Empire, a skill that reveals the inner workings of the character’s imaginations and fears. I really like how the skills interact with each other: while they are all a part of you, they’re separate parts of you and they argue with each other fairly often. Obviously, since they disagree on occasion, they can also be wrong on occasion: a fun lesson the game reminds you of is that succeeding a skill check does not always mean success in a more conventional sense.

So, in a return to the first topic of this post: I’ve thoroughly failed at not getting distracted with new projects by deciding I’d like to write my own game with similar concepts. Tentatively titled Dreamscape Fantasia (so while the game design may be a ripoff of DiscoE, the name is clearly a ripoff of Planescape Torment, a D&D game considered to be the spiritual predecessor to DiscoE =P), the game would focus on the exploration of the main character. DiscoE does of course explore the main character (that’s the whole point of personalizing the skill system to this character, after all), but DreamscapeF would do so more explicitly: as the title suggests, it would take place in the dreams of the main character, with events being far more abstract and with little to no extrinsic storyline.

I’ll likely develop it a bit then leave it alone for a while - I want to get the basics down while the idea’s fresh with inspiration from DiscoE, but then I want to focus on existing projects (hi Fireflower, I haven’t forgotten you). There’s also the question of feasibility… I’d ideally want to hire people for the art/music to fully deliver on the concept, which is of course technically doable - it just (significantly) ups the difficulty on a number of levels.

Nevertheless, it’s a fun project I’ve got going in my head. And that’s all for now - pce out til next time!

#monthly updates #writing

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nerianasims · 4 years ago

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Billboards #1 1965

Under the cut.

Petula Clark – “Downtown” -- January 23, 1965

I love this song to bits. I don't entirely know why. Petula Clark obviously sings it wonderfully. There's that little bell that sometimes chimes in. There's a pattern to the song that makes it feel like Broadway, which is, of course, downtown. It's a fantasy version of a downtown in a big city. One thing I love about fantasy is a sense of place, and that's what this entire song is dedicated to. It's an unusual subject for pop music, and it's great.

The Righteous Brothers – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” -- February 6, 1965

How does one even talk about this song? It feels somehow eternal. This is Phil Spector's production at its best. But Bill Medley's singing is the point. This song is one of the greats.

Gary Lewis And The Playboys – “This Diamond Ring” -- February 20, 1965

Gary Lewis is Jerry Lewis' son. Unlike his father, he does not consist entirely of annoyance-producing molecules, but the song's not good either. In it, the guy's fiancee dumped him and he's selling the diamond ring. A boring, bland heartbreak song that belongs three years or so back.

The Temptations – “My Girl” -- March 6, 1965

My mom used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid. I think a lot of parents sing this song to their little girls; it's that kind of love song. Yet it's not irritatingly antiseptic. It's about true love. True love can be a lot of things. This song is every superlative you can think of. Brilliant in every aspect.

The Beatles – “Eight Days A Week” -- March 13, 1965

It's a good, but not great, Beatles song. Very fun, with a lot of interesting things musically, like the bassline (as usual) and whatever George Harrison does with his guitar.

The Supremes – “Stop! In The Name Of Love” -- March 27, 1965

Finally, Diana Ross actually sounds kinda pissed off. It's also got more of a rock edge. She's still begging, and not threatening to leave the guy's cheating ass. Yet, though there is no explicit threat, I feel like there is an implied ultimatum here.

Freddie And The Dreamers – “I’m Telling You Now” -- April 10, 1965

It sounds like this guy is exaggerating his English accent. Considering the British Invasion, probably. He cackles like a monkey on acid, which is the only interesting thing about the song, which is otherwise a bland love song. Though the cackle is interesting, that doesn't make it good. It's creepy. I don't like this one.

Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders – “The Game Of Love” -- April 24, 1965

"The purpose of a man is to love a woman, and the purpose of a woman is to love a man." Whoo boy. Dated. But the song is 55 years old. Attempting to put that aside, the music is good. The lyrics sound pushy, though. Also it gets terribly repetitive at the end. Meh.

Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter” -- May 1, 1965

Was it once usual for guys to go to their ex-girlfriends' mothers to talk of their heartbreak after the girlfriend dumped them? This song is painfully "look how English I am! You Americans like to throw money at English pop singers, right?" It wears out its welcome quickly.

The Beatles – “Ticket To Ride” -- May 22, 1965

It's interesting how the Beatles seem to have matured five years in one. I can't imagine this group having performed "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The harmonies and rhythms in "Ticket to Ride" are far more complex, the sounds are more varied, and the lyrics are much more mature. His wife/girlfriend is absolutely determined to leave him, and he seems taken by surprise. Yet there are hints he shouldn't have been: "She would never be free when I was around." He goes on, "My baby don't care." Yet underneath there's the suggestion that she simply hasn't got it in her to care any more, because he's exhausted her. Layers of harmony and layers of meaning. It's an intelligent heartbreak song, and those are rare.

The Beach Boys – “Help Me, Rhonda” -- May 29, 1965

I know Brian Wilson was a musical genius but I usually don't like the Beach Boys. It's the lyrics. The narrator was dumped, now he's begging Rhonda to be his rebound. Lucky Rhonda. Then they sing "Help me Rhonda/ Help, help me Rhonda" about five dozen times. Not for me.

The Supremes – “Back In My Arms Again” -- June 12, 1965

Urgh. Don't listen to the Supremes' #1 hits close together. She's got her man back because she stopped listening to her friends' advice. In isolation, there's nothing wrong with that. After all the songs about rotten cheating assholes whom the narrator is desperate to keep, though, it's super uncomfortable. Also using the names of the two backup singers as the friends who give bad advice is in poor taste. And "Flo, she don't know, cuz the boy she loves is a Romeo"? You solely date Romeos! Taken alone, without the context of the other songs, it's good, though I still don't like the strange insult toward the backup singers. Taken with the rest of the Supremes' hits, though, I'm not happy. Especially considering these were all written by men.

The Four Tops – “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” -- June 19, 1965

The Supremes weren't the only people in Motown singing about being hopelessly in love with someone who treated them badly. That's what this song is about. I like it, though the line "I'm weaker than a man should be" is a bit wince-inducing these days. But it's an honest sentiment about how men often feel they're not allowed to be idiots over love, though that's a near-universal human experience. Anyway, good song.

The Byrds – Mr. Tambourine Man -- June 26, 1965

The original version of this song was by Bob Dylan, but the Byrds didn't like it, so they changed the sound and ditched a bunch of the lyrics. The lyrics they were left with don't matter at all. This is all about the music, especially the guitar. It's mellow without being soporific, groovy without requiring drugs to understand. It's nice.

The Rolling Stones – “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” -- July 10, 1965

The Rolling Stones were almost never nice. They went straight for the gut -- or gonads -- found all the nastiest things that people are afraid to say and embarrassed to feel, and hung them up on the front porch. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" sounds kind of silly today, since it's been played and overplayed so much. But that beginning riff still goes straight to the back-brain.

Two years before, pap like "Hey Paula" was clogging the airwaves. Funnily enough, it's the same subject matter: Goddamn I want to get laid. (The idea that Mick Jagger had trouble getting laid is pretty ridiculous, but anyway.) And then there's the critical bit about hating advertisements. They managed to stick a cultural criticism into a song that's about wanting sex. When you can't get no satisfaction, everything is annoying, and things that were already annoying to begin with start to feel unbearable. The Stones go harder in every way than any #1 before them.

Herman’s Hermits – “I’m Henry VIII, I Am” -- August 7, 1965

And here's the opposite. This song must be meant to be annoying, right? One of my friends and I used to sing it at our parents to drive them nuts, and that was before Ghost. It was their fault for exposing us to it in the first place.

Sonny And Cher – “I Got You Babe” -- August 14, 1965

Cher with Sonny is eternally confusing. Though their marriage didn't last, their love was real, and Cher was heartbroken when Sonny died. But anyway, the song. Sonny saying Cher has a "little hand" is goofy. Actually the whole song is kinda goofy, especially the beat that seems to be made of kazoos. Cher's got this powerful, deep voice, while Sonny has a squeaky little thing, but somehow they mesh. The sentiment is sincere, and a good picture of what it's like to be in a happy relationship. It's good.

The Beatles – “Help!” -- September 4, 1965

John Lennon was only 25 when he sang about being "younger, so much younger than today." But for the Beatles, that could have been two years before. They got so famous so fast and so young, I don't know how any of them lived through it. And that is what this song's about; Lennon called it a "public freak-out." But it's still universal. I love this song, and it helped carry me through some tough times.

Barry McGuire – “Eve Of Destruction” -- September 25, 1965

I remember when I first heard this song on the radio in the car with my mother, I asked her what "Old enough to kill/ But not for voting" meant. That's when I learned people used to not be able to vote until they were 21, though young men could be drafted at 18. I was absolutely stunned, and obviously it stuck with me. When you're a little kid, you tend to think the people in charge are generally fair. Then you find out that's not true at all. That's what this song is about, to me.

The McCoys – “Hang On Sloopy” -- October 2, 1965

Speaking of fair, I'm about to be totally unfair. I hate this fucking song. I had to play it endlessly in middle school band, and then I had to play it AGAIN in high school marching band. And the flute part in the arrangements was the most boring thing that has ever been conceived. I hate this song and I will not be listening to it or thinking about it more than this.

The Beatles – “Yesterday” -- October 9, 1965

Why do people in songs lose their significant others so often because they said something wrong and they don't know what it was? That can't be common. Anyway, this song is beautiful and sad. I'm kind of tired of all the covers of it though.

The Rolling Stones – “Get Off Of My Cloud” -- November 6, 1965

I'm listening to the original mono version of this, and mono sounds very strange these days. I keep wanting to check that my speakers are plugged in. Anyway, thanks to Jagger's marbles-in-mouth singing, I can't understand a word of this song except "Hey! you! get off of my cloud!" and I've never known the lyrics until now. And they're not important. Even the chorus isn't that important. This is all about the beat and the music, neither of which I find interesting for the entire length of the song. Not for me.

The Supremes – “I Hear A Symphony” -- November 20, 1965

A thoroughly happy Supremes song! I think Diana Ross is more suited to happy lovesongs than what she had been singing. She has a lot more emotion in her voice than she has before. The violins are lovely. I love this song.

The Byrds – “Turn! Turn! Turn!” -- December 4, 1965

I have always found this song slightly annoying. The Bible verse set to light pop thing doesn't do it for me. The music isn't anywhere near dramatic enough. This should be operatic, or heavy metal, or something else with serious weight. This is thin.

The Dave Clark Five – “Over And Over” -- December 25, 1965

This song is a bit of a throwback to three or four whole years before. It would have been good then. At this point, it's pretty boring. It's about going to a party he didn't want to go to, hitting on a girl, and getting turned down. The snare drum beat is very repetitive, and so is the melody. A big meh.

BEST OF 1965: "My Girl", with stiff competition. WORST OF 1965: "I'm Telling You Now"

#billboard number ones

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fallin-flcwer · 4 years ago

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CURRENT SECRETS LIST

This is a list of all of my characters’ current secrets. some of them don’t have secrets at the moment due to me either wanting to change them and never coming up with a new idea, but this will be updated as time goes on. (TW: topics of suicide, sexual harassment and abortion are discussed in this post. If any of these make you uncomfortable I highly recommend reading this post with caution, or to not read it at all.)

CHRISTELLE: Her family runs organised crime all along the country. Christelle, for the most part isn’t involved, but will lie for her family whenever she has to.

PHOENIX: SECRET 1 (TW; SUICIDE): While Phoenix was in high school, she found out that her father was married and in a family which most of his assets went to, whilst still being with her mother and acting as if he was working away whilst he was actually living with his other family. One day, she approached him alone and threatened to tell both her mum and his wife. The next day, he had committed suicide.

The suicide, which also lead to the unfolding of his double-life, was publicised heavily in the Springs. Nix became known as the “other child” who resented her father, yet got the sympathy card with people oblivious to the fact that she was the one with the upper hand prior to her father’s death.

SECRET 2 (TW; SEXUAL HARASSMENT): Ever since her first year, Phoenix has been sexually harassed by her former gymnastics coach. In her second year she dropped gymnastics, but every now and again she ends up bumping into him. Even though she knows what’s going on is wrong, she fears that her reputation as a sportswoman will be on the line if she says anything.

JIWON (TW; ABORTION): In South Korea, Jiwon was in a private relationship with a socialite. Even though Jiwon was more successful, her ex influenced many aspects of her life leading up to their breakup. Shortly after her debut she found out she was pregnant and aborted the baby because her boyfriend said that he’d leave if she didn’t. However, not long after that he ended up leaving because she refused to back down from continuing her career as an idol.

The breakup was messy and as tempting it was for her ex to out Jiwon’s pregnancy and for Jiwon to out her ex’s behavior, they both know that each other’s move would cause serious harm to their own images, and have mutually agreed to stay quiet about it.

DUYI: After drawing a red ball at his military draft in Thailand (meaning he had to do 2 years of military), Duyi renounced his Thai citizenship and fled to South Korea, knowing that his career as an idol was taking off. In response, the Thai government has banned him from ever going back to Thailand.

(Additional note: Since Duyi’s fixed age is 20 - turning 21 in March - this secret resets every year, with him having his draft during the first week of April)

CASSIE: As a member of Christelle’s family, Cassie co-runs a money laundering scheme in some of the largest casinos in London with her brother. While she’s promised her brother that she’d take the fall if the scheme were to fall under, she’s made sure to clear her own tracks and keep track of everything that links the scheme to her brother (falsely) working alone.

ISLA: When Isla was three she was abandoned by her parents in a busy tourist hotspot in Thailand while they were on an overseas holiday. Even though she was taken in by another family and has no recollection of who her parents were, the fact that she was abandoned runs deep in her, being diagnosed with a mild case of monophobia (fear of being alone). As a result, Isla has never had a consistent friendship group and has alway hid in the shadow of her adoptive brother, Chang-woo.

NO SECRET:

KOBI: I did have her going deaf as a secret but I kinda want something new for her so I’m back to the drawing board for her in that sense.

HANEUL: He was originally going to be involved in the death of Jiwon’s parents but since I’ve kept delaying it the timeline for it’s kinda of fallen out of shape and it’s not really the direction i want him heading in.

SANGWOO: I'm still thinking of a past-based plot for him. He did turn down an offer into liberty in favour of staying in Seventeen, so I might have a secret based on the outcome of that?? idk we’ll see LMAO

#ooc.

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unexpectedreylo · 5 years ago

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Closing Arguments For Reylo

After it seems like we’ve spent a year anticipating this movie--from the film wrap in February to the teaser trailer in April to the Vanity Fair stuff in June to the D23 trailer at the end of August to the Road To TROS stuff to this final trailer and the onslaught of press for the film--we’re finally in the home stretch.

Who will live? Who will die? Will Reylo ride off into the sunset, a HEA at last for a Star Wars couple, will it end in tragedy or worse yet, will it end in a vague incoherent muddle? After all, no fairy tale ends with “they lived ambiguously ever after.”

I think we’re all going to be nervous sitting in the theater come Dec. 18-20 because whether we believe “leaks” or not, we’re just not going to know for sure until we see the film. I’m almost as nervous about their misusing/under-using Adam in this film as I am about the filmmakers blowing Reylo.

Yet of all of the sequel films, I’m the most confident about this one going in. This is the last film in this story and it’s not going to end with the message that the Skywalker family was somehow a mistake or some curse upon the galaxy that needed to be eliminated, while the few positive aspects about the Skywalkers are handed off to Rey because she’s such a nice girl. It’s not going to end like Romeo and Juliet. It’s not going to end without redemption for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. The final chapter in the series is not only going to redeem him but everyone else who screwed up before him. It’s going to end this conflict and a Jedi Order 2.0 is going to arise. There will be a big party at the end. It will give you cavities and possibly blood sugar spikes.

As far as I’m concerned, Rey and Ben being together--in LOVE--is an integral part of that happy ending. Cinderella gets her prince. Beauty finds true love with the man who had been the Beast. Anastasia marries Christian Grey and has a baby. There’s just no such thing as a heroine who cheerfully ends up without her lover and in spite of what a lot of people think, Star Wars spends far more time utilizing traditional storytelling tropes (though in new ways) than subverting them. Like I wrote in my piece about gothic romances, the woman gets the man, the manor, and the money. Rey walks into TROS already with the metaphorical substitutes for the manor (the Falcon) and the money (the objects associated with the Skywalker family). She’s already in with her potential mother-in-law. All she needs is for Ben to show up to the metaphorical/literal wedding.

And everything is pointing toward that happening. I’m not saying TROS will end with Ben and Rey in a wedding or Rey waddling about preggers. Maybe it will end that way, maybe it won’t. But it will at minimum pair them together a la Han and Leia at the end of ROTJ.

First, let’s take on the only legitimate, in-universe obstacles to Rey and Ben being in a romantic relationship. No, I don’t mean that they could be related. What I do mean is that there are two things that would prohibit romance: one is obvious...no Bendemption. But I’m certain it is going to happen. The other is the old school Jedi prohibition against forming attachments, including romantic relationships. Many fans expect this deeply unpopular rule to be cast aside. But in the name of fairness, it bears pointing out that so far, this deeply unpopular rule hasn’t been cast aside in the movies. Sure there was a bit in the TLJ novel implying Luke wasn’t fond of this deeply unpopular rule but on the other hand, he lived it. Generalissima Leia did lots of other things but never became a Jedi herself. Maybe she was too busy. Or maybe she’d rather bonk Han to her heart’s content than become a space nun. There’s been some recent news that Leia was originally set to finally take up the Jedi mantle in the last ST film, something that obviously changed after Carrie’s passing in 2016. Note that this would have been after Leia had become a widow. Several months ago I’d listened to a podcast containing an interview with former Lucasfilm employee J.W. Rinzler. He revealed that while the expanded universe was allowed to go nuts with Jedi romances and marriages, Lucas kept grumbling that “Jedi aren’t supposed to marry!” He disliked Mara Jade partially for this reason.

Of every argument against Reylo happening that is the one that no one seems to take seriously yet it’s far more likely to be an issue than a sudden revelation of Rey Skywalker-Solo. The question is were Chris Terrio and J.J. Abrams willing to say, “Hey George, your rule sucks so we’re gonna throw it out” to Lucas’s eternal annoyance? Or, is the coupling of Rey and Ben supposed to have happened all along, even in Lucas’s drafts? Are Rey and Ben a glaring exception to the rule?

My argument is that they are going to be an exception. Reylo is not just about hot people hooking up, it’s about mystical forces coming together in a union that will bring the peace and stability that has evaded the galaxy since the Clone Wars. In other words, it’s a divine marriage. Ben and Rey are not ordinary Force users. They are extraordinary among the extraordinary. We already know Ben’s tremendous raw power comes from being literally the great-grandson of the Force itself. Rey I’m sure is something very similar, a demigoddess of sorts. Ben and Rey will demonstrate one can love deeply without it corrupting into selfishness, possessiveness, obsession, and everything else that led Anakin into believing killing his comrades to save Padmé was a really good idea.

Okay, let’s look at some hard evidence.

What’s the one word that keeps coming up over and over again with Rey and Kylo/Ben?

Intimacy.

Or some variation thereof:

“At the premiere I heard somebody in the balcony say, “Yesssss!” You can see Adam was training hardcore throughout the whole process. It’s fun but it also has a specific purpose, which is the increasing feeling of uncomfortable intimacy. That was sticking with the theme of trying to give Rey the hardest thing you could possibly give her, which would be unavoidable intimate conversation with this person that she wants to just hate. This was just one more way of upping that ante.”--Rian Johnson, Los Angeles Times, December 18, 2017

“It’s all about those Force connection scenes. The keyword being intimacy. And the idea that this was a way to just, why not step that up?(...)And so it was just another way of kind of disrobing Kylo literally and figuratively a little bit more, and pushing that sense of these conversations becoming increasingly more intimate.”--Rian Johnson, People magazine Dec. 23, 2017

“They just had this horrific fight, but Rian wanted this incredible intimacy and this cascading, twinkling waterfall of sparks from the fight before.”--Ben Morris, ILM Visual Effects Supervisor, Collider Dec. 25, 2017

“Even to the point where Adam flew to Ireland just to be off camera for Daisy’s stuff, which was essential because they’re such intimate conversations.”--Rian Johnson, People magazine Jan. 6, 2018

“That came about first and foremost from wanting a sense of intimacy”--Rian Johnson, Force of Sound Documentary Feb. 20, 2018

“And have it, you’re in their heads with just that intimacy.”--Matthew Wood, Supervising Sound Editor, Skywalker Sound Feb. 20, 2018

“Having a big sound there just didn’t have the intimacy that the scene demanded. It can be so hard to get the balance right to where the audience is feeling the same thing as the characters.”--Michael Semanic, Re-recording mixer Skywalker Sound, Postperspective Feb. 21, 2018

“But we fall back on romance because it's the best analogue we have. Rey and Kylo's relationship is more intimate than that. They've literally been in each other's minds. Rey's seen his deepest fears; he's seen the past she's buried. None of us have had that experience.”

“My point is romance may not be the endpoint of that. (Though it may be.) The analogue may be misleading, because it's an analogue. Their connection is deeper and stranger and far more complicated. I think TFA/TLJ covers those complications wonderfully, with Ep IX promising more.”--Jason Fry on Twitter Nov. 26, 2018

“At times it’s more intimate, sometimes less intimate.”--Adam Driver, Entertainment Weekly, December 2019

Relationships that are intimate aren’t necessarily romantic or sexual in nature but in modern parlance, it’s often used as a euphemism for a romantic or sexual relationship, or for sex itself i.e. “Tyler and Kaitlyn weren’t intimate until they got married.” Because of that, it would be hella weird if they described a familial or friendly relationship in this way. If I didn’t want my audience to believe there’s anything that could possibly be sexual happening between my characters--especially between an eligible attractive man and an eligible attractive woman--I would avoid using the term “intimate.”

If that doesn’t sell it for you, consider these statements:

“It’s the closest thing we’ll ever get to a sex scene in Star Wars”--Rian Johnson re the hand touch in TLJ. (Who the hell says that about cousins? Or just friends?)

“it is certainly true there is a romantic drama...”--Rian Johnson, some Japanese interview from 2017. (By the way this was misquoted into stating there was no romance in TLJ at all.)

“I (Rian) disagreed with John (Williams) twice regarding the score. For example, there's a scene where Kylo Ren and Rey touch hands, before they are interrupted by Luke Skywalker. When John wrote the score (for this scene), he was very protective of Rey's character, exactly as is Luke. Kylo ('s presence) was menacing, musically speaking. It's a valid point of view, but I didn't think of the scene like that. I wanted it to stay on Rey's POV: I wanted that we could believe in this romance.”--Rian Johnson, Classica magazine April 25, 2019 (Note: this is an interview from English to French then translated here and here back to English but the word “romance” is the same in both languages.)

The above statements and various others we’ve all seen over the years are helpful to explain what we’ve seen in the past two films: they’re building toward something.

On one level, the filmmakers are building toward another alliance between our space children, like what they had in TLJ. It’s obvious that they will need to team up to defeat Palpatine because who else could? It’s also obvious that they are key to the Force being in balance. There has been interesting speculation on Twitter about how those forces will come together and the symbolism of a marriage by uniting mystical objects.

But being Force buddies in a tag team match against Palpatine isn’t quite high enough stakes. Nor is “might makes right” the message of Star Wars. These two have to be willing to fight for each other, to the death if necessary. They have to have something to live for as well. They have to have the secret sauce that Darth Sidious doesn’t have. And what I’m talking about is love. Not just the compassionate love of agape (that’s what Anakin was talking about in AOTC but he meant it differently of course) or the friendship love of philia but also the powerful, creative love of eros. It’s basically what was happening in the throne room scene in TLJ. They were fighting for each other and the future they saw when they touched hands. Come on, nobody is going to do any of that just to find an apprentice or to convince someone to join an insurrection you barely spent any time with yourself.

A divine marriage between the two most powerful Force users will end the war and herald in a new age. Either they are a new incarnation of the Prime Jedi or they will become the mother and father to this incarnation.

Plus they will kiss and get in a lot of nookie. The end.

Credits: r/starwarsspeculation, @reylo-evidence-collection, r/starwarscantina, @reylo5 (Instagram),

#reylo #reylo fandom #reylo fam #rey x kylo ren #rey x ben #tros #bendemption #hea

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mitchintille · 5 years ago

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2020 Mock Draft (Pre-combine)

Alas, it is finally here. Draft season has officially kicked into full gear, and that means it’s time for yet another installment of a mock draft that will undoubtedly be ridiculously wrong come April. With that being said, I sincerely hope you enjoy!

1. Cincinnati Bengals - Joe Burrow, QB, LSU

The Bengals are widely regarded as one of the most incompetent front offices in all of sports, and nothing that they can do with this pick would shock me. With that being said, it is with almost 100% certainty that Joe Burrow will be a Bengal. Sharpie it in.

2. Washington Redskins - Chase Young, EDGE, Ohio State

Another pick that is almost entirely locked in. Young is one of the best defensive prospects to come out in recent memory. His blend of athleticism, raw power, and moxie is a match made in heaven for new head coach Ron Rivera. Young is a transcendent type talent with true superstar potential, and should be snatched up within seconds assuming they don’t trade down.

*TRADE*

3. Miami Dolphins - Tua Tagovailoa, QB, Alabama

This should come as a surprise to no one. A team with a trajectory pointing directly upwards and a bevy of picks at their disposal, the Dolphins trade up to assure they land their franchise QB. Tua is a polarizing prospect, coming off an historically great career which saw him cement his legacy as early as his Freshman year. He is deadly accurate with a knack for creating plays outside the structure. His riddling injury concerns are valid, but should the medicals come back clear, there is not a better player in the class in my eyes.

4. New York Giants - Jedrick Wills, OT, Alabama

Back to back Bama players here, as new coach Joe Judge establishes a trend from his first pick as the new coach. Build. The. Trenches. Wills is a highly athletic tackle with the ability to play in space; not to mention he is far and away the most pro ready run blocker at his position group as well. The Giants have a tendency to be unpredictable come draft time, but I can’t see them ignoring the glaring holes on their offensive line for another off-season.

*TRADE*

5. Detroit Lions - Jeffrey Okudah, CB, Ohio State

Win-win for the Lions here as they collect additional picks and the best corner prospect to come out since Jalen Ramsey.

6. Los Angeles Chargers - Justin Herbert, QB, Oregon

The writing is on the wall here. Philip Rivers and the Chargers have decided to mutually part ways after a disappointing season for both parties. Insert Justin Herbert. The live armed QB is the NFL prototype of what one should look like. Tall, athletic, big arm, smart. Herbert is not going to be for everyone, but with the Chargers’ throw heavy offense, he should develop nicely for them and give them (somewhat) a sense of continuity.

7. Carolina Panthers - Derrick Brown, DT, Auburn

Admittedly, this is a bit of a mystery pick for me. The Panthers have been non-committal to whether or not they view Cam Newton as their QB of the future, meaning a possible huge void will be created if they indeed let him walk. Assuming the draft shakes out with the top three QB’s going in the first six picks, the Panthers are left in a BPA position. Brown is the type of mauler up front the Panthers desperately lacked last year, fielding one of the league’s worst run defenses. He is a plug and play type player who should see the field and contribute immediately.

8. Arizona Cardinals - Ceedee Lamb, WR, Oklahoma

Do the Cardinals have more pressing needs than a wide receiver? Yes, absolutely. But in the case of Lamb, he has all the ability and potential to be a true WR1 in the league. His familiarity with the Cardinals’ scheme and QB Kyler Murray is simply too irresistible to pass on for Kingsbury and Keim.

9. Jacksonville Jaguars - Isaiah Simmons, LB, Clemson

A once strong and dependent LB corps quickly saw a rapid decline after the sudden retirement of Telvin Smith last off-season. The Jags recently retained both Doug Marrone and DC Todd Wash, and with their recent track record of picking the best available defensive player, it’s hard to assume they’d pass on a player of Simmons’ caliber. A true chess piece, seeing snaps at seemingly every position on the field last season, Simmons’ versatility should be coveted given the direction the NFL is heading towards.

10. Cleveland Browns - Tristan Wirfs, OT, Iowa

New head coach Kevin Stefanski should be foaming at the mouth if Wirfs is still on the board. The recently hired Stefanski is well known for his wide zone run scheme featuring heavy dosages of play action. Insert Wirfs. A freakish athlete for his size who is only scratching the surface of what he can become. Wirfs’ natural agility and raw strength is exactly what the Browns need to upgrade their dire situation at offensive tackle.

11. New York Jets - Andrew Thomas, OT, Georgia

It’s simple, the Jets need to draft offensive line to protect their young QB. The Jets are in need of a serious makeover on the offensive line, and while Rome wasn’t built in a day, Thomas, a 3 year starter at Georgia, is the perfect benchmark towards repairing a withered offensive line.

12. Las Vegas Raiders - Jerry Jeudy, WR, Alabama

This screams Raiders to me. The Raiders have plenty needs, but a true WR1 is something this offense has been lacking since...well...Amari Cooper. But nonetheless, Mayock has shown a tendency to draft players from big time schools. Jeudy fits the billing, as he is the most gifted route running prospect we’ve seen in a long time, and a guy Gruden will undoubtedly be pounding the table for.

13 - Indianapolis Colts - Jordan Love, QB, Utah State

The term “polarizing prospect” is thrown around loosely each and every draft season, but there is truly no other way to describe Jordan Love. The Utah State product saw his stock rise after a very a productive 2018 season, only to be minimized by a drastically underwhelming 2019 campaign. Love’s supporting cast is, in my mind, one of the worst in recent memory in regards to QB prospects. No other prospect’s career trajectory is more team dependent than Love, and the Colts are the perfect fit. Love can sit a year behind Jacoby Brissett in Frank Reich’s QB friendly offense. His skill sets as a QB are exactly the type that the new NFL is targeting, and with the opportunity to sit for a year and learn might be exactly what is needed to tap into Love’s full potential.

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Javon Kinlaw, DT, South Carolina

Sigh. Given the impending loss of Ndamukong Suh, Kinlaw could plug and play into the league’s reigning top run defense. Personally, I am not as high on Kinlaw as most. A nagging knee injury and questionable production are legit concerns of mine, but how he wins is a perfect complement to Vita Vea. If Kinlaw’s repertoire expands, there is some serious Chris Jones-esque potential there. Nonetheless, this is more of a continuity pick than anything else.

15. Denver Broncos - Mekhi Becton, OT, Louisville

The idea of pairing Henry Ruggs was very tempting to me, but given the depth in this year’s receiver class, Becton is the safe choice here. It is imperative that they invest in protecting Drew Lock, and the 6′7 behemoth should give them an immediate upgrade over Garrett Bolles.

16. Atlatna Falcons - AJ Epenesa, EDGE, Iowa

With the recent release of Vic Beasley, it is no secret that the Falcons should be looking to add EDGE depth. Epenesa is not the twitchiest player, but his high pass rush ceiling and savvy run defense are a dream fit for Dan Quinn.

17- Dallas Cowboys - Grant Delpit, Safety, LSU

This is another one of those picks that feels somewhat mysterious to me. Yet given the need at safety and the fact that they tried making a push at the trade deadline to acquire Jamal Adams last season, it would not shock me to see them go this direction. Delpit, the 2019 Jim Thrope award winner, is a fast twitch, instinctive eraser in the back end. His tackling concerns are valid, but I fully expect him to clean that issue up early on in his career.

18. Miami Dolphins - Josh Jones, OT, Houston

With a roster lacking talent at seemingly every position, it is best to build from the ground up. After selecting their franchise QB in Tua, they double down and select the athletic Jones to begin solidifying their offensive front.

19. Las Vegas Raiders - Kristian Fulton, CB, LSU

The Raiders have no talent in their secondary. Seriously. Fulton isn’t exactly the flashiest player, but his body of work has proven time and time again that he can hang with the best of them. His Football IQ and moxie provide the Raiders a nice building block towards reshaping that secondary.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars - CJ Henderson, CB, Florida

After going defense with their first pick, the Jags double down and keep building towards that elite 2017 defense they once had. Henderson has faced several ups and downs throughout his career, but his athleticism and potential are higher than anyone else in the class not named Jeffrey Okudah. With the Jags defensive front seeing a hopeful improvement, Henderson should plug in nicely alongside AJ Bouye.

21. Philadelphia Eagles - Henry Ruggs, WR, Alabama

A true burner. Ruggs gives me some Tyreek Hill/Hollywood Brown type vibes. The Bama product offers world class speed, and is a more well rounded receiver than given credit for. Desean Jackson and Alshon Jeffrey are only getting older, and Ruggs provides a much needed deep threat that Carson Wentz has been so desperately lacking the past few seasons.

22. Buffalo Bills - Tee Higgins. WR, Clemson

A 6′5 target with the best hands in the draft is the exact type of receiver the Bills have been lacking for years. Josh Allen gets a new best buddy in Higgins, who has the wingspan and strength to win contested catches and collect errant throws from the gunslingin’ Allen. Higgins has true WR1 potential, and pairing him with John Brown could be what the Bills need to unlock Allen’s full potential.

23. New England Patriots - Xavier Mckinney, Safety, Alabama

The impending free agency of Devin McCourty leaves the Pats in a bit of a pickle. Whether the Pats decide to resign him or not, it can’t hurt to gain some youth at the Safety position. Patrick Chung is aging and beginning to show signs of decline. Enter Mckinney. Nick Saban bestowed the same responsibilities on him that he once did with Minkah Fitzpatrick. Mckinney is a versatile, high IQ player whose instincts should quickly prove to be useful for Belichick.

24. New Orleans Saints - Jalen Reagor, WR, TCU

I can’t envision a scenario where the Saints look a different direction if Reagor is still on the board. An absolute freak of nature, Reagor is expected to dominate the combine. He once posted a ridiculous sub 4.3 40 and an absurd 26 foot (!!!) long jump. Did I mention the fact that all of this was while he was still in high school? Reagor is a true vertical threat, but also serves plenty of value as a return specialist and gadget type player. He is the exact type of player that Sean Payton covets, and while he has all of the makings to become a WR1 in this league, being the Robin to Michael Thomas’ Batman is simply a pairing that cannot be resisted.

25. Minnesota Vikings - Jeff Gladney, CB, TCU

This one feels obvious to me. After investing into the offensive line the last two drafts, the depth in the draft allows the Vikings an opportunity to go out and grab a toolsy corner. Xavier Rhodes looked like a shell of what he was once last season, and that pricey contract still looms large. Both Trae Waynes and Mackenzie Alexander are heading towards free agency, and given Mike Zimmer’s penchant for drafting very athletic corners with good ball skills, this fit seems plausible.

26- Miami Dolphins - Zack Baun, LB, Wisconsin

The ideal chess piece for Brian Flores. Baun’s unique skill set is reminiscent of Kyle Van Noy, as his versatility offers loads of endless opportunities for Flores’ defense. He has all of the traits to play off the ball and offers plus blitz skills, and would give the Dolphins a much needed infusion of talent on the defensive side.

27- Seattle Seahawks - Julian Okwara, EDGE, Notre Dame

The Seahawks last two first round picks have been bizarre to say the least, so don’t be surprised if the twitchy Okwara ends up as the pick. After investing into LJ Collier last season- who is now 25 years old and has recorded one (!) pressure in his young career- it is obvious that the Seahawks are still searching for an answer on the edge outside of Jadeveon Clowney. Okwara is a bit rough around the edges, but offers an intriguing athletic profile and runs with a very high motor. He’s going to need to add play strength early in his career, but his burst and bend might be too tempting to pass on.

28. Baltimore Ravens - Kenneth Murray, LB, Oklahoma

As competitive of a player as there is in this draft. Murray is the type of natural, vocal leader that the Ravens organization seems to covet. His blend of power and speed is something that should mesh immediately in that locker room, and given the Ravens recent track record of drafting Oklahoma players (Mark Andrews, Hollywood Brown, Orlando Brown), Murray seems like an ideal fit.

29. Tennesee Titans - K’lavon Chaisson, EDGE, LSU

Chaisson fits the mold of a Titans defender. Highly athletic, versatile, and bendy off the edge, adding Chaisson to an already talented defense could be the missing piece they need towards taking that next step to being elite. Chaisson offers plenty of risk, but a guy like Mike Vrabel should be able to milk all of the potential out of him that he can get.

30. Green Bay Packers - Brandon Aiyuk, WR, Arizona State

The former JUCO product burst onto the scene this year with a whopping 65-1192-8 stat line. His pure speed and natural after the catch ability is something that offense has long been lacking. Pairing this dynamic playmaker next to Davante Adams would solve what was a very lackluster group last season.

31. San Francisco 49ers - Cesar Ruiz, OC, Michigan

Starting center Weston Richburg is coming off a torn patellar tendon, and the interior depth is showing signs of aging. Ruiz, a late riser, has all of the tools and youth to slide nicely into that unit. An intelligent and experienced player, Ruiz movement skills for his size would be an ideal fit in Shanahan’s offense.

32. Kansas City Chiefs - Ross Blacklock, DT, TCU

Behind Chris Jones and Derrick Nnadi, the depth at defensive tackle leaves plenty to be desired. Blacklock is an athletic specimen who offers plenty of juice to be a high end player. Coming off a 2018 season in which he missed due to a torn Achilles, Blacklock displayed the same explosiveness he had in 2017. While his processing needs some work, he is the type of high ceiling player that defensive coordinator Steve Spagnulo could get the most out of.

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aswithasunbeam · 6 years ago

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Hi there! I wanted to ask you, based on the amount of knowledge of Hamilton that you have, do you have some sort of idea of how Philip 1 was, in terms of personality? according to wikipedia, Robert Troup describe (in private letters ) Phil as "alas Philip is a sad rake and I have serious doubts whether he would ever be an honour to his family or his country."

Philip was only nineteen when he died, so I think he was still the in the grips of teenage rebellion when he ended up in the duel with George Eacker. Hamilton was an incredibly doting and affectionate father, but he was also strict with Philip and held very high expectations for his success. The only existing letter from Philip to Hamilton, dated 21 April 1797, shows how active Hamilton was in Philip’s studies:

I delivered my speech to Dr. Johnson4 to examine. He has no objection to my speaking; but he has blotted out that sentence which appears to be the best and most animated in it; which is, you may recollect it “Americans, you have fought the battles of mankind; you have enkindled that sacred fire of freedom which is now.”

As Philip grew up, Hamilton appears to have kept closer and closer tabs on him. When Philip finished at Columbia, Hamilton drafted rules that regulated pretty much every moment of Philip’s day throughout the year:

Rules for Mr Philip Hamilton from the first of April to the first of October he is to rise not later than Six Oclock—The rest of the year not later than Seven. If Earlier he will deserve commendation. Ten will be his hour of going to bed throughout the year. From the time he is dressed in the morning till nine o clock (the time for breakfast Excepted) he is to read Law. At nine he goes to the office & continues there till dinner time—he will be occupied partly in the writing and partly in reading law. After Dinner he reads law at home till five O clock. From this hour till Seven he disposes of his time as he pleases. From Seven to ten he reads and Studies what ever he pleases. From twelve on Saturday he is at Liberty to amuse himself. On Sunday he will attend the morning Church. The rest of the day may be applied to innocent recreations. He must not Depart from any of these rules without my permission.

Even when Philip traveled on his own, Hamilton attempted to exert control. When Philip was traveling through Providence, Rhode Island, Hamilton wrote him a letter of introduction to Jeremiah Olney, but he made it clear that Philip wasn’t to linger in the city:

As my eldest son Philip, who lately graduated,2 will pass through Providence on his way to Boston, I give him this line barely to introduce him to you; since the time I have prescribed for his return will not permit the stay of more than a day at Providence.

Benjamin Rush described Philip’s visit on his own to Philadelphia in glowing terms, though he did write about the trip after Philip’s death, which likely effected the tone. Even so, Rush tended to fall more on the Jeffersonian side of politics, so I tend to find his kind words to Hamilton significant. Rush wrote to Hamilton on 26 November 1801:

[Y]our Son had made himself very dear to my family during his late visit to Philadelphia, by the most engaging deportment. His visits to us were daily, and after each of them he left us with fresh impressions of the correctness of his understanding and manners, and of the goodness of his disposition. To One of my Children he has endeared himself by an Act of friendship & benevolence that did great honor to his heart, and will be rememb[e]red with gratitude by Mrs. Rush, and myself as long as we live. My Son has preserved a record of it in an elegant and friendly letter which he received from him After his return to New York.

Yet, Philip also showed some irresponsiblity on that same trip to Philadelphia. In January 1802 (two months after Philip’s death), Hamilton received a letter from Charles W. Hare stating: “I have paid 20 Dlls 67 to the keeper of the city tavern on account of your son’s bill and have taken a receipt in full. I enquired for other bills, but could not find any, and I believe he owed nothing more.” Philip had therefore left the city with an unpaid tavern bill that Hamilton had to settle after his death.

Hamilton was very proud and doting on Philip, as was the rest of the family. Philip Schuyler expressed his pride and hopes for his grandson after his graduation: “I rejoice My Dear Son that My Philip8 has Acquited himself so well, and hope that his future progress may correspond with Your & My wishes.” Even when Philip was being willful, Hamilton expressed more fond exasperation than real frustration. On 25 October 1801, a month before the duel with Eacker, Hamilton wrote to Eliza that he hadn’t heard from Philip in a while, though his tone is distinctly teasing: “I am anxious to hear from Philip.3 Naughty young man.”

Philip was young, handsome, and smart, but also rebellious and willful. Eventually, I think he would have grown up to be brilliant and responsible had he had the chance. Unfortunately, the culture of honor combined with Philip’s rebellious teenage years proved fatal. Thomas Fleming described the duel with Eacker in his book “Duel: Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr, and the Future of America,”:

Philip and his friend Richard Price had invaded Eacker’s box at the Park Theater and taunted him about a speech he had made on July 4, 1801. Eacker had hailed President Thomas Jefferson as the rescuer of the Constitution and implied that General Hamilton was not averse to seizing power with a coup d’etat. Philip’s hooliganish conduct suggest he and friend Price were drunk. Realistic Robert Troup, belying his fond parents’ view of Philip’s talents and promise, described him as a ‘sad rake.’ (p.7)

Robert Troup may have been more realistic about Philip, but even he granted that Philip had promise. In a letter to Rufus King dated 5 December 1801, Troup wrote: “Young Hamilton was very promising in genius and acquirements, and Hamilton formed high expectations of his future greatness!“ Though Philip was going through a rough patch of teenage rebellion, finding his way with high expectations and strict parenting, he was also beloved by family, friends, and acquaintances and showed great promise for the future.

#philip hamilton #alexander hamilton #eliza hamilton #robert troup #george eaker #duelling #personality #history #ask

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writing-royza · 6 years ago

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Tainted Blood, Tainted Soul: Chapter Sixteen - Apaavan

A/N: Happy Wednesday, everyone! I'm sorry for the delay; this is getting into a busy timeof year for me. This weekend, I helped my husband host a public trivia night on Saturday and then Sunday we played D&D with friends and it ran late. Since then, I’ve just been trying to get enough sleep and unwind where I can. So please enjoy this chapter, even if it is a little late!

I do not own FMA.

Chapter Sixteen - Apaavan

EAST CITY MILITARY HOSPITAL

1743 HOURS, APRIL 21

As soon as the man entered the main lobby of the hospital, once he was out of the infernal sun, he felt the irritating weakness in his limbs fade. It wasn't entirely gone, not while the sun remained above the horizon, but as long as he wasn't directly within its beams, he would manage.

He was careful to carry his bouquet of flowers upright, so that the canvas bag folded in amongst the stems wouldn't fall and draw unnecessary attention. Just a man visiting an ill friend, he thought to himself. Or perhaps my wife just gave birth to our child. That would certainly garner more sympathy, if any staff become too nosy….

Pausing in front of the directory board mounted across from the entry, he let his eyes skim over unnecessary departments such as Obstetrics, Podiatry, Emergency…. Ah, there.

'Phlebotomy Clinic.'

Perhaps the Emergency department would make a good exit once he was finished; it appeared to be located the closest to the hospital's blood donor facility. And why not? If the blood was to be used on incoming patients anyway, why should it travel farther than it needed to?

Starting off down the corridor, he kept his pace measured and his expression neutral. He passed mostly nurses and orderlies who were too absorbed in their duties to pay much attention, visitors or patients looking for specific rooms, the occasional doctor in the white coats that identified their positions, and once, a cheery, pink-pinstriped candy striper with her small cart.

Unfortunately, of all those he passed, he made eye contact with her.

The girl couldn't have been older than 17, and she was nearly impossible to ignore. Between her curly blonde hair, wide blue eyes, and dazzling broad smile, she drew attention like iron filings to a magnet. The man began to feel the weakness returning, brought on by nothing but an overly sunny disposition.

"Good evening, sir!" she chirped, her tone oozing friendliness and the pep of three dozen pep rallies. "Can I interest you in anything for the person you're visiting? Nothing gets somebody back on their feet like a good pick-me-up!" She giggled at her own joke.

"That would be rather difficult," the man said, making his voice as bland and bleak as possible. "My friend was in a rather unfortunate accident and appears to be in a coma."

The smile dropped off the girl's face so quickly that it was nearly comical. "Oh my gosh… that's terrible!" Those blue eyes swam with emotion and what appeared to be the very beginnings of tears. "I hope they come out of it soon. In fact, I'm sure they will — East City has some of the best doctors!"

"Yes, I'm aware." Stepping past her, he continued down the hall, reimagining the moment the annoyingly bright smile had vanished. "Please, excuse me."

"Sir, one moment!"

Annoyance washed over him like high tide, and he took a deep breath before turning to face her. It wouldn't do to snap and draw the stares of onlookers; even the excuse of an ailing friend could only support so much blame. When he turned, the girl was so close, it felt that she was practically nose to nose with him. Taking one of his hands in both of hers, she pressed something into it with that same cheerful smile.

"Here, sir. Perhaps your friend might not need anything, but here's something to keep you going in the meantime. Got to keep your strength up!" Turning, she bounced back to her cart and set off along the hall with a wave. "Take care, now!"

Looking down at the cookie in his hand, the man grimaced at the icing smile drawn across the oatmeal chocolate chip surface. With his teeth gritted, he glanced about to make sure he was unobserved before shoving the thing into the nearest waste bin and stalking off down the hall.

He followed the relevant signs to the phlebotomy clinic, using the time to regain his composure. When he finally reached it, he stood, ostensibly examining another directory board, but watching from the corner of his eye through the open clinic door. Two donors sat in the tiny waiting area, a petite female orderly behind the check-in desk. This woman got up as a male nurse escorted a third donor into the waiting area, and presented him with a cookie and a small paper cup of juice. The nurse disappeared back into the depths of the clinic after an exchange of a few words, taking one of the waiting donors with him.

The man pasted a friendly smile on his face — dim, compared to the candy striper — and headed inside.

"Hello there," he greeted the orderly as she returned to the desk. "I have a flower delivery here for the clinic manager."

"For Mr. Lanceton?" The girl looked puzzled. "I didn't know he liked flowers…. I'm sorry, he's already left for the day. If you like, you can leave them here and he can pick them up first thing in the morning."

The man's smile turned knowing. "It's kind of the idea that he left before I got here. The customer asked specifically that we deliver them after he left at five, so that they would be on his desk first thing tomorrow morning. A nice sort of surprise to start the day, you know?" Leaning over the counter, he gave the girl a wink. "Are you sure you can't let me in there? Just for a minute?"

The girl blushed prettily, looking away. "Well… okay. He usually leaves his office door unlocked, just in case any of us need files or anything after he leaves." She pointed back over her shoulder. "Go ahead – third door on the left. Just be quick, okay?"

"As quick as I can, so that I can get back here and see that cute smile again," he promised, before passing the desk and heading off down the hall.

The right side was apparently devoted entirely to exam rooms, with the left side being reserved for offices… and the cold storage lab. Bypassing the manager's office, the man glanced briefly over his shoulder before hurrying to the lab and slipping inside.

A cool draft pervaded the room, spiralling off the glass-fronted coolers that lined one wall. With it being after five, the lab techs had all gone home for the day, leaving the room empty and dimly lit.

Taking the folded bag from inside the flower bouquet, he dropped the bundle on the floor and kicked it aside, scattering petals and leaves. It had served its purpose. He shook the bag out, his tongue running over gleaming white teeth as he approached the coolers and the life-filled glass bottles stored within. They were lined up in neat rows, their labels showing that they were grouped by type and date.

The man reached in, taking three bottles at random. A, B, O, AB… none of that mattered to him; he was swallowing the stuff, not taking it intravenously. Arranging the bottles in the bag, he selected two more, nestling them alongside the others. His long fingers were just brushing against the sixth and seventh selections when the silence of the lab was shattered.

"What are you doing?!"

When he looked back, the male nurse from earlier was standing in the doorway, a bottle of fresh blood in his hand. One hand rested on the doorknob, his mouth slightly open and eyes wide in surprise.

The man smiled, letting his pointed canine teeth show. "Inventory inspection. For… quality control."

He gripped the open bag in his fist, keeping any of the stolen bottles from spilling out, and launched himself across the room at the nurse. The other saw him coming and took a surprised half-step back before the intruder landed against his chest and forced him to the floor.

Leaning back, the man raised his free hand and brought a newly-formed fist crashing against the nurse's temple. The unfortunate man had time for a single violent twitch, before sharp teeth were buried in his throat. He gasped once, dazed eyes open wide, the sound turning into a wet gurgle as the piercing teeth ripped.

The man didn't wait to see the life drain out of his victim; a shame, really. He enjoyed that part. Taking the bag, he glanced down once at his suit: the chest and entire left arm were covered in a spray of bright red arterial blood, more still coming from the choking, dying man on the floor. There was no way to explain this, no way to calmly walk out of the hospital like nothing was wrong….

Hugging the bag of blood-filled bottles to his chest, the man broke into a run.

The exclamations, when he dashed through the reception area, were more surprised than horrified. Out the door, he turned right, toward the emergency room, hearing the shouts and surprise behind him turn horrified as they realized just what the red stuff on him was.

Patients, visitors, and staff alike pressed themselves out of his way as he hurtled through the halls, often crying out as he passed as they spotted the blood. One or two of them screamed, and an elderly man who had the misfortune to get a clear look at him stopped in his tracks before passing out in shock.

The man burst through the doors into the busy emergency room, skidding to a halt mere feet from the nearest set of chairs. The breath heaved in his chest, his head swivelling this way and that as he tried to locate the exit. A shocked hush fell over the scene, the only sound his own ragged breathing as he breathed in the scents of fear, antiseptic, sickness, and blood.

Two uniformed security guards stepped slowly from an adjacent hallway, their hands resting on the guns holstered at their hips. They paused, eyes taking in the blood on the man's suit and the wild look in the eyes that swung their way.

The man grinned, revealing blood-streaked, pointed white teeth. A woman nearby gasped and clutched her coughing child closer, shrinking away from the man as she did.

"All right, sir," the first guard said cautiously, one hand held out in a calming gesture. "Take it easy. You don't want to make things any worse for yourself than they already are."

"I'm relatively sure that's impossible," the man shot back, still grinning. It wasn't his usual assured, confident smile; his held more than a hint of manicness, betrayed how his brain was tilting toward imbalance… how the bloodlust had its hold and was keeping a firm grip. "At least… things can't get worse for me. You…. You might not be so lucky."

The guard frowned, puzzled. "And just what is that supposed to —"

His words disappeared in screams, both his own and those of the people around him as the man lunged forward. A hand fisted itself around the uniform's tie, dragging the unfortunate man close to where his attacker's teeth could sink into his throat. The man jerked his head back, twisting as he did so for maximum power, feeling the lacerations spread into shreds.

He shoved the dying guard back into his partner, then turned and bolted toward the wide doors across the room. He dodged walkers and canes, leapt empty seats, and pushed bodies from his path regardless of age or health. At one point, a man in dirt- and oil-smudged overalls stood up, a bloody rag wrapped around an injured hand, and attempted to catch the fleeing man in a bear hug. Had he been a fraction of a second faster, he would have succeeded, but the man ducked his would-be captor's arm and shot through the doors into the gathering dusk.

The sun hadn't been down long, probably only having slipped below the horizon a few minutes before. His limbs lacked their full strength to sustain his top running speed, and transferring to a less corporeal form wouldn't be possible until it was a good deal darker.

Slowing to an easy lope, the man headed off along back alleys and little-used streets, his arms wrapped tightly around the bottles of hunger-sating blood.

RECONSTRUCTION OUTPOST OFFICE, JADAD, ISHVAL

0723 HOURS, APRIL 22

He was waiting outside their office when they arrived to begin the work day. Roy stood with his back to the wall beside the front door, his arms folded and his expression entirely composed. Dark eyes watched the two men approaching from across the plaza, not missing the way they exchanged a glance before reaching him.

"You're up early, Colonel," Miles commented, once he and Scar were within earshot. "Did you sleep well?"

"Bold of you to assume I slept at all," was the acerbic answer. Roy shifted to stand straight, but otherwise held his ground. "Given that I was forcibly separated from my Lieutenant thirty seconds after she was screaming her head off for some reason I still don't know, and no one will tell me anything." Hard, dark eyes went from one man to the other and back again. "Nothing about what was wrong, nothing about where she was taken or who she was taken by, and nothing about when she might be back or when I can see her."

Grim-faced as ever, Scar stepped past him, unlocking the door and allowing it to swing open. "Come inside," he said tersely, entering and not bothering to see if he was followed. "You won't want to discuss this out in the open."

Roy couldn't help but glance around as he stepped inside what had once been a single-family house. The door opened into what had likely been a general family/living room, with an archway off to the right leading to what he could only assume was some sort of dining room. A doorway there permitted the barest glimpse of a kitchen area that Scar disappeared into. Stairs in the main room led to a second floor, and — one would assume — what had once been bedrooms.

And every direction he turned, every surface was covered in scrolls, maps, books, blank paper, and writing tools.

"Welcome to our newest outpost of the Reconstruction Office," Miles commented offhandedly. "Perhaps not as tidy as a military office, but it's a functional sort of chaos."

Roy didn't answer, watching as the Major closed the door and moved to kneel behind a low writing desk off to one side. "What's going on that you didn't want to discuss it outside?" he finally asked, moving to where he could see both Miles and Scar, the latter moving about inside the kitchen area to the clinking of earthenware cups.

The warrior priest spoke without looking over. "How long has your Lieutenant been apaavan?" he asked quietly.

"…Has she been…?"

"Apaavan," Miles repeated, already sorting through the books on his desk, apparently in search of one in particular. "It's our word for 'unclean' or 'unholy.'"

For a long moment, all Roy could do was stare at the other man. He was barely aware of Scar re-entering the room, automatically accepting the steaming cup of tea the warrior passed to him. Finally, when he found his voice, all he could think to say was, "…Why would you think she's that?"

"Her reaction to the blessed sand speaks for itself," Scar answered. He settled behind a second writing desk Roy hadn't noticed; the surface was piled so high with maps and scrolls that it was hard to recognize the furniture underneath. "You'll notice that you didn't react when it touched you, but —"

Roy gritted his teeth, cutting across the other man. "Let me get this straight. Lieutenant Hawkeye reacted so strangely because the sand was holy and she was… not?" His felt his fingers tighten on the cup and forced his grip to loosen before he shattered the thing. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"A very good question," Miles commented. Apparently finding the book he wanted, he looked up. "Please, sit, Colonel. Standing can't be that comfortable." He pointed to a cushion in front of his desk, and Roy sank reluctantly onto it. "To answer your good question, it's rather simple. Something the Lieutenant has done has, to oversimplify things, corrupted her soul. That which ties us to God."

Roy's mind flashed him the briefest of images: the way she'd thrown her head back in the back of the truck, literally screaming in pure, unadulterated pleasure —

"What sort of thing could she have done?" he said, forcing his mind back to the task at hand. Taking a cautious, thoughtful sip of tea, he added, "It can't be anything to do with our roles in the civil war, or else I'd be… apaavan?" He glanced at Scar, who nodded confirmation. "— as well. I would have reacted just as badly as she did."

"There can be several reasons a person is considered unclean," Miles assured him. "Things like… well, as Major General Armstrong said once or twice, if there were 'bears in the forest,' so to speak."

Roy lifted one eyebrow, waiting for the other to explain, before Scar quietly cleared his throat. "A woman being on her cycle is considered physically unclean," he clarified. Something in his usually unreadable mask of a face took an uncomfortable edge. "A reaction like the Lieutenant's points to unholiness of the soul, not the body."

"And that returns to the question of how she got that way." Taking another sip of the tea, Roy allowed himself to relax a little in posture; staying angry and uptight wouldn't help Riza any faster. "What causes corruption to a soul?"

Scar's shrug was about as expressive as the man ever got. "In our modern times, it's relegated mostly to what you would 'cardinal sins.' Things like murder, rape, adultery… things on that level. In times past, I would also include pacts with otherworldly beings, selling her soul to a demon, or unnatural creation at the hands of someone like the Homonculi's Father… but those would seem to be a bit farfetched."

Miles had the book open in front of him on the desk, skimming through it carefully. He paused on one page in particular, then looked up. "Possession," he suggested.

Roy went cold all over, seeing again the Central/East City serial killer forcing his blood down Riza’s throat.

Deep frown lines etched Scar's forehead as he thought. "I would consider it more likely than the other supernatural options," he said at last, "but still quite a reach."

"More likely how?" Roy took a sip of his tea to counteract the sudden dryness of his mouth.

The large man shrugged expressively. "There were millions of souls flying loose during the Promised Day," he answered. "If one lost its spiritual connection to its body, it stands to reason it might try and attach itself to another host. And if that host happened to be your Lieutenant, it would create a kind of corruption."

At least he doesn't suspect what I do…. Sitting straight, Roy glanced between the two men, putting his years of command into full play. "Regardless of whatever is causing the problem, I want to see her," he said firmly. "I won't stay separated from a member of my team when they need help."

"No one is saying you should, Colonel," Miles soothed. He gestured toward the stairs before looking back to his book. "We'll continue trying to find an explanation. Your Lieutenant spent the night upstairs, under observation."

It took most of what Roy had not to scramble for the stairs at top speed. He instead forced himself to calmly set down his cup and rise smoothly to his feet. His steps were purposeful but unhurried as he ascended to the second floor, finding Scar's master sitting cross-legged on the floor outside a closed wooden door.

The older man smiled in a fatherlike way, getting to his feet and offering a small bow. "Good morning, Colonel," he said, quietly. "I told her you would be here before too long. I'm pleased to see I was right."

"Thank you for looking after her," he answered, just as quietly. "Is she awake?"

"I believe so, though she's been silent for some time." His expression turned solemn. "As to what happened yesterday at the temple…. Once the two of you have had a chance to catch up, I'd like to go over some of the options for your Lieutenant. On how to help her."

Roy inclined his head in an abbreviated bow. "Thank you. I'll let you know when she's ready. Now, if you don't mind?" He gestured to the door.

When it was opened for him, it was onto a severe interior. The walls and floor were bare, as was the lone window that looked out over the expanse of sandy dirt that was the small building's 'backyard.' The only light came from the window, and Roy stepped inside into shadows that only deepened as the door closed behind him.

"I didn't think you'd keep me waiting long."

His head turned as the voice came from a dark corner, his eyes taking a moment to fully see her as they adjusted to the gloom. Riza was just getting to her feet, one hand on the wall for balance, though she winced and pulled it away after a moment. She still wore the simple desert dress and sash, but the headscarf was gone, allowing her bangs to fall freely into her eyes.

"Hey, there you –"

He broke off, staring as exactly what he was seeing sank in. His feet had only taken a pair of steps in her direction before he froze in his tracks, mouth falling open. A long, loud silence fell before his voicebox remembered its function, although the only words his brain could muster were "…Holy shit."

Riza smiled wryly, though there wasn't much strength behind it. "That seems to be the sentiment of most people who have seen me," she replied, far more calmly than Roy would have thought. She held up her hands, palms out. "Though it's mostly in response to this."

On each palm where her hands had touched as they were cupped to receive the blessed sand was an angry red half-circle. Spreading out from that, as though each vein and capillary were traced in ink, was a network of fine, red lines. It looked like the web of some crazed spider, with the arachnid itself sitting large and menacing in the centre.

Carefully, he took her hands in his, bringing them closer for a better look. Her skin was cool, almost cold to the touch, and pale enough that the red stood out starkly even in the dim light. "Riza… are these burns?"

"Why do you think I screamed?" She tried to gently tug free of his grasp, but he didn't allow her to slip away. "It's all right; our… hosts gave me some salve to take the heat out of them. They're mostly just tender."

"Yeah. Our hosts." He glanced around the room, seeing the sleeping pallet in one corner, the small mirror on the wall, but no other furniture. "Are they treating you all right? Did they let you sleep?"

She was smiling, the expression fond, and tolerant of his worrying. "I've been left to my own devices since ten o'clock last night," she informed him. "The guard outside is for my own protection from any citizen that may have heard what happened, and to assist me if necessary." She shrugged. "He and I talked for a few hours. He's very nice."

His irritation was rising at her apparent disregard for her situation, and Roy had to grit his teeth to stop himself from saying anything too harsh. "Riza, do you know what happened after the blessing went south? Miles and Scar's Master pulled a disappearing act with you, while Scar himself pretty much pinned me to the floor so that I couldn't go after them."

Unable to hold himself back completely, he wrapped her in a fierce hug, burying his nose in the fall of her hair. "I've spent the last twenty hours replaying it all in my head, trying to figure out what happened, hoping you were all right, wondering where you were…. They wouldn't tell me anything, other than that you were in a safe place, that they were looking into it, that the best thing I could do was to keep a low profile and talk to them this morning." He hugged her tighter as her hands rested gently on his back. "Do you have any idea how hard that is?"

"I know. I'm sorry you were so worried." She pulled away just enough so that her hands cupped his face, lifting his head to where she could look him in the eye. "I'm all right. You're all right. Things are going to work out for the better."

But his dark eyes were tracking over her face, scrutinizing, trying to see that comforting shade of brown, but the colour hidden by the shadows. "Are you sure everything's okay with you?" Standing straight, he held her at arms' length for a better look. "You're white as a sheet, your hands are like ice…." His gaze went to the spots of bright colour in her cheeks, and he frowned. One hand lifted to press the back against her forehead, brushing her bangs aside. "You didn't have any problems stemming from those burns? No shock or anything?"

She shook her head, ducking away from his hand. "No, Roy, and I'm not feverish either."

"Okay, okay. I was just checking." The same hand touched her cheek, the gesture intimate rather than analytical, before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I have to make sure my Lieutenant is in top form. She knows I'd go under without her."

From the moment he walked in, she was biding her time. It hadn't taken Riza long to discover that even the faint light of morning was enough to kick off the feeling of weakness in her limbs if she stood in it directly. It was the sensation if a body preparing to fall unconscious, though the associated blackness never came.

So, Riza stayed in that shadows, out of the direct fall of sun. She was there when he found her, something inside her chest giving a happy leap at the sight of him. Even with his face in shadow, she could pick out the mixture of worry and relief when those dark eyes landed on her, could see the way the frown lines in his forehead deepened when it was obvious her hands were injured.

She almost pulled him close at the first touch, but forced herself to hold back. She couldn't appear too eager to see him, or risk alerting the Ishvalan outside her door to their illicit little affair. There was the chance that it would be interpreted as relief after being forcibly separated from him under strange circumstances, but until she had a better handle on the culture, it was better not to risk it.

Her eyes stayed on the marks on her hands as he examined them. "Riza, are these burns?"

"Why do you think I screamed?" She watched the neckline of his tunic pull away from his throat as he looked up, his pulse visible as the tiniest flutter of a vein beneath the skin. An overwhelming feeling of desire rose like thick fog in mind, and she tried to tug away from him before she could act upon it… but his hands held fast to hers. "It's all right; our… hosts gave me some salve to take the heat out of them. They're mostly just tender."

"Yeah. Our hosts." Riza's eyes started drifting back toward the side if his neck as his head turned, looking around the small room. "Are they treating you all right? Did they let you sleep?"

She could faintly hear his heartbeat, now that she was consciously listening for it; the sound drew a smile to her lips. "I've been left to my own devices since ten o'clock last night," she answered almost automatically. Her attention was taken up with the steady th-thump th-thump th-thump coming from his chest. "The guard outside is for my own protection from any citizen that may have heard what happened, and to assist me if necessary." She shrugged. "He and I talked for a few hours. He's very nice."

The sound of his teeth clenching carried over the sound of his pulse. When she met his gaze, it was full of frustration, worry, and something close to desperation. "Riza, do you know what happened after the blessing went south? Miles and Scar's Master pulled a disappearing act with you, while Scar himself pretty much pinned me to the floor so that I couldn't go after them."

Roy abruptly wrapped her in a tight hug, and though Riza tried to pay attention to what he said – he was concerned, that much was obvious – the sudden proximity of his heart drowned out the words. Her ear, so close against his neck, could hear nothing but a rushing roar of pumping muscle and flowing blood. Lifting her hands, she settled them on his back, holding hm closer so that she could keep listening to that sound….

And abruptly realized he had stopped speaking and was probably waiting for an answer. "I know. I'm sorry you were so worried." Easing herself away from him, so that she could hear, if nothing else, she cupped his face in both hands. "I'm all right. You're all right. Things are going to work out for the better."

He was watching her closely, brows slowly lowering into a frown. "Are you sure everything's okay with you? You're white as a sheet, your hands are like ice…." He stepped back as he spoke, giving her a brief once-over before reaching up to press the back of one hand against her forehead. "You didn't have any problems stemming from those burns? No shock or anything?"

Ducking away from his hand before he could notice how her eyes looked, she played the evasion off with a smile. She couldn't let him see her eyes just yet; she had seen them in the mirror, but thanks to the dim lighting, he had yet to notice. "No, Roy, and I'm not feverish either."

"Okay, okay. I was just checking." His fingers brushed down one cheek, before he leaned in to press a kiss to the other. "I have to make sure my Lieutenant is in top form. She knows I'd go under without her."

The roar of his pulse sounded briefly again in her ears, and Riza unconsciously moistened her lips with a flick of her tongue. Roy stepped away as suddenly as he had moved closer, heading toward the lone window and leaving her in the centre of the room.

"I have to say, this has taken a turn from how I pictured our return to Ishval," he commented. Riza watched his hands reach reflexively for pockets that weren't there, instead folding behind his back. "But with any luck, we can move past this and get down to business in the next day or two."

Her mind was beginning to drift away from her, most reasoning fading into the background as what felt like mental white noise took over. Her muscles felt loose and lithe, her body moving with more ease of movement than she ever remembered having before.

"Hey." Roy glanced back over his shoulder when she spoke, finding her with her arms held out to him. "I think you and I have some business of our own that needs attending to."

He glanced briefly toward the door, weighing his options; Riza waited. She could wait forever if she needed to… but she knew he wouldn't last long before giving in. After the stresses of the day before, she was the tall drink of cool water for the man just emerging from the desert, and he would not resist her.

When he stepped into her embrace, his arms settling comfortably around her, he was smiling. "Sorry, I thought we were done with this…." He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "Though the way you've been going the last few weeks, I shouldn't be surprised."

She smiled, watching the way his eyes dropped toward her lips… and then widened at the sight of her teeth. "I suppose I have been a little… demanding, haven't I."

The takedown happened as though she were dancing with an inordinately clumsy partner. Her arms still around him, Riza twisted sharply on the spot, throwing him off-balance. Roy gave a surprised yell as he started to fall, and she braced herself as his hold on her dragged her along.

He hit the floorboards on his back, with her hugged to his chest. Riza pressed both hands to the floor and pushed herself up, keeping herself astride his chest to ensure he would stay where he was. "Sir, if you keep making noise like that, it's going to be very hard to explain to our hosts," she commented mildly.

"Riza, what the hell –"

"Sshhhhh." She leaned over him, one finger pressed to his lips, though it was a needless gesture. His eyes flitted from her eyes, to her teeth, and back again. "Language, sir, there's a lady present."

Sitting straight, trailed the finger from his lips, down his throat, and to the centre of his chest with feathery lightness. She shook the half-concealing bangs from her eyes, allowing the slit-pupiled amethyst purple to show, her smile hinting at the pointed canine teeth he had already noticed.

"Besides, you've never fought me before. Why start now?"

#fma #fmab #Roy Mustang #Riza Hawkeye #royza #royai #fma fanfiction #royai fanfiction #tainted blood

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