#this idea came to me in a fit of sleep deprivation at 3am

[jupitersmoon167]

Okay but imagine Death and his human companion sleep together sometime before the endgame and his fight with Absalom. But when he comes back after War breaks the Seventh Seal, he finds her back on Earth after humanity is resurrected and finds her with a kid. Turns out she was pregnant with his child and he’s now a dad.

Like, she’s never even seen him without his mask off, but after their kid is born she sees all these traits in them that are so clearly passed down from him *sobs*

If anyone is willing to write this, please do (I’m willing to part with an arm and a leg, hell take my liver please I beg)

[whorefordazai]

Hi, please ignore this if you aren't taking requests at the moment.

So recently, I came out to my girlfriend as nonbinary. I thought I was trans male for a while, but recently discovered that nonbinary just fits me more. Shortly after that she texted me, to break up with me. She said something along the lines of "it was difficult even when you thought you were trans, but nonbinary is just too much for me"

If you're comfortable with writing it, could I request dazai, chuuya, akutagawa (and maybe fyodor if you want) comforting reader when they're dumped after coming out to their partner?

Usually I wouldn't go anonymous to request something, but I'm honestly humiliated by it, and it's causing a lot of negative thoughts and feelings.

I hope you're having a good day, ily ♡

Hey bestie👋first, I just wanted to say that ilysm and you are valid for who you are! I must admit, I also had a point in my life where I thought I was a trans male, but later on decided I’m fine as a she/they😅(gender is still something I could give less fucks about) I struggled a lot during those years to figure out who I am. And rejection, especially from someone you love-I know that feeling all too well🏃🏼‍♀️It’s okay to feel many things right now. But just know that regardless of who you are, this blog will always be a safe space💗message me anytime bae and take care of yourself <3

comforting you through a break up

ft. dazai | chuuya | aku x gn! reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Dazai

This man would be an amazing distraction for your negative thoughts.

He might not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but he will do everything in his power to make you laugh!

For example, he’d randomly take you out at the most bizarre hours.

He’d push you awake at like 3am to help him break into an amusement park😭

“W-what? Dazai, where are we going?”

“To an amusement park! Where else?”

“IT IS STILL DARK OUTSIDE.”

Late night adventures to make sure you’re both sleep deprived the next day😁

He’d make sure to tell you that you’re a bad bitch and there are plenty of people other there who want your hot ass💗

Hyping you up 24/7

There isn’t a dull moment between the two of you.

But sometimes, the both of you can enjoy the peace and comfortable silence that takes over when no one is speaking. It’s almost serene.

But don’t worry, his antics aren’t over!

He’d ask you to commit double suicide with him even more than usual

“Darling! Let us take the pain of broken hearts and jump off a bridge! ◕‿◕”

“ó‿ó?”

Chuuya

When you first told him, he was a little bit pissed😳

Only because he couldn’t even imagine someone rejecting you for such a silly reason.

“You’re perfect just the way you are.” He’d mutter, patting your back. (Give him a break, he’s bad at consoling people😭)

(If you drink) he’d take you drinking with him. Of course, if you’re more sober than him, you’d have to witness his drunk thoughts and actions.

“C-Chuuya! I think you should get down from the bar...”

“NO.”

You miserably watch him from the corner (recording on your phone) pretending to strip on the bar table, moving a seductive arm up his leg.

It’s either you and or him doing the stripping on the bar babe🙄

He wouldn’t be one to exactly talk about “feelings” but he will always be there to support you (even though he won’t outright admit it🙄🦶)

If you randomly break down and start crying, he’d awkwardly look in every direction but yours like “ಥ_ಥ”

With no ideas on how to make you stop crying, he’d place his fedora on your head to cover your eyes ( ･_･)♡ (😖💗)

You’d furiously thank him, and he’d just mutter an “alright, alright😒🙄”

(He knows he’s secretly the best)

Chuuya knows rejection all too well, so he would be able to empathize on your situation.

He may not be the best at coping mechanisms, but this man would go to the ends of the earth to make you feel better🤸‍♀️

Akutagawa

Let’s be honest, this man has even worse coping mechanisms.

When you first told him, he’d be silent for a moment. He’d cough into his hand and say “I’d like to have a talk with this...exᇂ_ᇂ”

He said that with the full intent of murder ◔_◔

Don’t get him wrong, if he cares about you as much as he does for Gin, his first instinct will be to eliminate any person who hurts you🏃🏼‍♀️💨

You quickly nervous laugh and tell him not to murder anyone pls ಥ‿ಥ

Even though he can’t relate to your situation, he does understand rejection and how shitty one can feel.

Other then that, he really has no clue what to do and how else to help you.

So he goes to Gin ◕﹏◕

He actually listens to Gin’s advice. “Just be there for them. That’s all they need right now.”

His mind: “be there for them ಠ~ಠ?”

He doesn’t know what that exactly means, but he has an idea that he’s supposed to be next to you all the time.

Determined to make you feel better, he ends up following you everywhere👩‍🦯

“Um, Ryu...are you following me everywhere ◔_◔?”

He’d cough, and look at you with an emotionless expression.

“I’m being there for you ᇂ_ᇂ”

He’s trying his best, pls let him follow you😭

[buginetye]

Marichat!!!

Fairy Lights and Flower Boxes

Sorry this is so late! Anyway, I need sleep, so here’s something quick ‘cause I don’t know if you mean a doodle or a fic!

P.S. the fic is after Chloé has apologized, become nicer, and actively tried to help take down Hawkmoth and Mayura, even as a civilian.

Edit: I kinda forgot about Kagami so just assume she fell asleep or smth idk. Also fixed my spelling :/

~

“Girls night!” Alya had decreed as soon as she walked into class and saw Marinette’s dead expression.

And that was why, at 8pm, Alya, Kagami, Chloé, Sabrina, and Juleka were in Marinette’s room, engaging in a heated debate over who the better hero was: Chat Noir or Misterbug. The six girls had become quite close since Juleka and Sabrina figured out all of their identities, and accidentally told them all that they knew they were a hero in a group text instead of four individual ones. (It was 3am when they finally cracked it, okay? Everyone makes mistakes when they’re tired!)

“Misterbug is clearly better!” Marinette said, slamming her hands on the table.

“You’re only saying that because he doesn’t make cat puns,” Chloé remarked, met by murmurs of agreement from the other girls.

From Sabrina’s shoulder, Trixx chimed in, “Hey, I like his puns! Chat Noir is definitely better!”

“No way! Not with that stinky, cheese-eating kwami of his!” Tikki said, wrinkling her nose as she munched on a cookie.

“Is it not pointless to debate such things? They are the same person under the mask, after all.” Longg, in a flash, stole Tikki’s cookie and returned to his perch on Alya’s head. He winked at the bug kwami and ate it.

“Hey, Longg, be careful! You know I love you, but that does not mean that I want crumbs in my hair!” Alya said, already trying to get any crumbs out.

Mullo squeeked, hiding behind Chloé as Sass chased him. “Hey, leave him alone!” Pollen said, flying between the two kwamis.

“Aw, you’re no fun,” Sass said, slithering back to Juleka as Mullo stuck his tongue out at him from the safety of Chloé’s sleeping bag.

There was a tap on the window, and Marinette walked over to open it, telling the kwamis to hide.

“Come on in, Kitty,” she said as she opened the window. The cat squeezed inside the opening that should have been too small for him to fit through, seeing as Marinette had barely opened it, but through the physics of however the fuck cats work, he fit, seemingly with ease.

“Princess,” he said, bowing and kissing her hand as she giggled. He turned, noticing the others, who were all regarding the interaction with suspicion. “Am I missing something, or did you just not invite me?” He pouted while giving her puppy eyes.

“It’s a girls night, dummy,” Marinette said as Alya threw a pillow in his face.

“Well then, can I join?”

“Hmmm...” Chloé trailed off, seemingly lost in thought. She looked around, and the others nodded, knowing her well enough by now to predict exactly what she was going to say. “Only if we can give you a makeover.”

“Anything to spend time with my Princess.” Marinette blushed deeply, which was not lost on the others. “By the way,” he said, shaking flowers out of his hair, “what’s with the flower box?”

“I needed a little garden of inspiration, okay?” she said as the others hid their laughter.

2 hours later, Chat Noir, the hero of Paris, had on bright red lipstick, some black eyeliner, and some black eyeshadow, blended into green at the edges. (The girls had somehow managed to cover his mask in concealer. Don’t ask how.) He had a tiara on his head, and Marinette had shoved a frilly, sparkly pink dress at him to put on over his suit. He had just finished putting on knee-length, silver, extremely high-heeled boots on over the normal boots his suit came with when he heard a crash.

“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” he said, trying to turn around but tripping on Alya’s sleeping bag as his heels got twisted in it. “Ow.”

“I’m okay,” Marinette called from her position by the window, tangled up in fairy lights. Sabrina and Juleka giggled, took a picture or two (or three...or ten...) and then went and helped her up, untangling her from the lights. The girls strung them up by the window.

“Hey, can I get a picture for the Ladyblog?”

“But of course! I couldn’t deprive all of Paris from seeing me look this fabulous.” Chat Noir posed over dramatically while Alya took some photos. (The rest of the girls may or may not have photobombed one of them, resulting in a subsequent photo of Chat Noir laughing maniacally as the girls fell on top of each other in a large pile on top of Sabrina’s sleeping bag.)

“Hmm, maybe one with some fairy lights in the background would look nice,” Longg mused, having snuck up into Alya’s hair, hidden from Chat Noir’s eyes.

“That’s a great idea! Hey, Juleka, Chloé — could you hold up some fairy lights for me, please?”

“Hey, watch the claws!” Chat whined after Chloé tripped on Juleka’s foot, tangling up the fairy lights in his claws.

“Oh, here, let me help you,” Marinette said as she sauntered over. “Little Kitty got caught in a mousetrap?”

“Only one set by the best, Princess,” he winked, nodding at where the mouse miraculous had previously hung on her neck while they had fought Kwamibuster.

She blushed lightly as she set to work untangling him, only to be stopped by the lights twisting under someone else’s control, wrapping her and Chat closer together until they were nose-to-nose.

“Hey!”

“Oops,” Sabrina said, fist-bumping Chloé. “How utterly careless of me!”

Marinette tried to back away, but Sabrina tightened the lights even more. She could feel his breath on her face, and his lips brushed hers as he spoke. She turned bright red.

“Well, this seems like...quite the situation we’ve found ourselves in, huh, Princess?”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me, you silly cat.”

“Whatever you say, Princess.” He closed the gap between them.

The kiss was passionate, and when they pulled away, they were both bright red, and Marinette had gotten some of his concealer on her face and some of his lipstick on her lips. As they gasped for breath, Alya said, “Yes! I got it all on camera!”

“Alya!”

“What, Marinette? Is something wrong?” The journalist had an innocent expression on her face, before the two tangled-up teens started laughing, turning back to face each other.

“So...” His voice trailed off, and he gulped, looking away. “Would you want to, uh...go on a date tomorrow night?”

Her eyes lit up at th prospect. “Of course! I’d love to!”

“I’ll pick you up on your balcony at 6?”

“Sure.”

“Dress casually, okay? And maybe something to hide your identity, like a baggy hoodie.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know, Kitty. I am your Mouse-inette, after all, no?”

“Yeah.” He looked her in the eyes. “Yeah, you are.”

He pulled her into another kiss, and after they pulled away this time, Chloé said, “Is this how you two lovebirds are going to act all the time? I’m starting to regret this.”

Everyone laughed.

“What? I was being serious!”

The two rolled their eyes, and were about to kiss again before they were quickly untangled and pulled apart by the girls.

“So...” Alya butt in. “Truth or dare?”

[randomk-imagines]

Still Into You

words: 1.9k

summary: it’s your anniversary with johnny so you decide to make a video collage of him 

a/n: i sobbed while writing this bc i thought about how perfect johnny would be as a boyfriend and i just really love him ok? he’s not even my bias, but i just love him a lot. he deserves the world. ok bye. enjoy (: also this is based off of this video so go watch it and enjoy sobbing like i did

You sat on top of your bed with the covers pulled over your head and your laptop in your lap. It was unhealthily close to your face as the light illuminated off your glasses into your dark room. 

You glanced at the clock in the corner of your laptop. 

3:27am.

You sighed but focused back on the task at hand. Editing this video.

To an outsider, you probably looked like a YouTuber editing their lengthy vlog, but that was far from the truth. You were actually editing something special for someone special.

You and Johnny’s anniversary was just a few days away. The two of you had been dating for three years. The best three years of your life, might you add. Of course, the two of you had gotten into some arguments, but you never failed to settle them within a day or two and it only made your relationship stronger.

Throughout the three years you’d been dating and the many years before from just being his friend, you had accumulated a plethora of videos and pictures of him on your phone. Sometimes when you were feeling down, you’d go back into your gallery and watch the videos of him goofing off in a store or laughing along to something your friends said. They never failed to lift your mood. You were actually rewatching some of them when you had gotten this idea of creating a collage of them.

You picked your favourite ones of him from your phone and got to work uploading them to your laptop and editing them down to a relatively suitable video. You were not an expert in video editing, in fact, you barely were able to figure out your laptop’s regular functions on a daily basis. You were not technologically advanced even though you really should be. However, you were determined to create a video to express how you felt towards your boyfriend and you weren’t about to back out now. Although, you could feel the sleep deprivation get to you and the harsh light from your laptop was not helping your already poor eyesight.

Truthfully, you were basically done trimming down the videos and putting them together in a relatively cohesive collage. You just needed to pick out the background music.

You scrolled through multiple playlists you had made on Spotify, but none of the songs seemed to compliment the tone of the video. It wasn’t until you had randomly clicked on a throwback playlist that you found the perfect song. You quickly downloaded it to your computer, excited at how well it fits the video.

It wasn’t until an hour later that you were finally satisfied with how the video turned out. You saved it to your computer and proceeded to pass out until the weekend was over.

-

You and Johnny were actually quite busy on the day of your anniversary so you both decided to wait until Friday to celebrate it. You were excited to show him the video, yet nervous at the same time.

He was a Film and Digital Media major after all. He even had his own YouTube channel (which you had taken some videos off of as well) which was new, yet gaining popularity quickly. His channel consisted of his daily life at university as a film major as well as videos of him and your friends hanging out, goofing around, and just being a mess in general. He had some videos dedicated to you, but he didn’t want his channel to become solely focused on his relationship, so it was more like an add on, rather than the overall theme of his channel.

You, on the other hand, were majoring in the sciences, specifically chemistry. You could solve the odd thermochemistry problems and strange-looking stoichiometry questions, yet you could hardly handle your laptop. You could barely create cool-looking excel spreadsheets without needing help from your friends. It was honestly embarrassing.

You hoped your video was at least okay...

Friday came quick and your classes flew by even quicker. You ended later than Johnny did, so as soon as you stepped out of your last class, you saw Johnny leaning against the opposite wall waiting for you. You immediately perked up when you saw him, bidding your friend goodbye as you bounded over to your boyfriend.

“Hey,” he smiled and pecked your lips. “Want to drop your stuff off at my apartment then we can go?” he asks. You nod and the two of you set off to his apartment hand in hand. 

Even after dating for three years, you were still giddy whenever the two of you held hands. It may be lame to other people, but you love it. It’s not aggressive PDA, yet you were still able to be close to him, and that’s all you needed.

-

“What’s on your mind?” you hear Johnny ask. The two of you were currently cuddled up against each other on his couch as the TV played. It was a rerun of a popular drama, but you weren’t paying attention to it. Instead, you and Johnny were talking and just catching up on what happened throughout the week. You, however, were anxious about showing Johnny the video.

You were laying on top of his chest, your cheek resting on the back of your forearm as your other hand was fiddling with a loose string on his shirt. Your legs were entangled together messily, having been shifting every once in a while. He had one arm tucked behind his head while his other was rubbing random patterns on your back as the two of you talked. 

“Nothing,” you say, it being a little muffled by your forearm. You feel the hand stop rubbing circles on your back and instead coming up to tilt your head a bit so you look at him.

“Nothing means something,” he quirks an eyebrow. You pout, knowing that he can practically read you like a book while he just smiles. 

“I just made something for you, but it kind of came out like shit even though it took forever to make,” you laugh, trying to hide your nervousness. 

“I told you that you didn’t need to do anything for me,” he tsks. 

“You got something for me!” you lightly smack his chest. He just cracks a smile. He did get you something, and it was rather nice, to be honest. 

He knows you like wearing a necklace every day, but not just any necklace. It has to mean something to you. You’re not a big jewellery girl, but necklaces aren’t high maintenance and they don’t get in the way of your daily life like bracelets do. He knows that you only wear certain jewellery so he went out and bought a necklace for you. 

It was a simple, little star necklace, but he had his initials engraved on the back. You, however, knew how much he liked to spoil you so you knew it wasn’t cheap. In fact, it was sterling silver. When he told you that, you immediately wanted him to return it. You couldn’t let him spend that much money on you, especially when he said he didn’t need anything in return!

However, he said that he wouldn’t be able to return it since he got an engraving on it, so suck it up and accept it because you’re keeping it. You reluctantly accepted it, and it was currently hanging from your neck as you propped yourself up on your forearms to pout at your boyfriend. He just laughed at you and playfully pinched your cheeks. 

You sat up all the way and reached for your backpack to take out your laptop. It was leaning right against the side of the couch so you didn’t have to get up, but you did have to turn around. You heard Johnny protest as you turned away from him. He sat up as well and as soon as you fished out your backpack, he snaked his arms around your waist to your front and pulled you back against him. Your back collided with his chest as he hooked his chin over your shoulder and sighed after settling down, content with you being so close once again.

“What’s this?” he asks when he sees you open up a file from your laptop. It loads a video and you click for it to go full screen.

“It’s just something I made...” you nervously reply. You feel him nod as he looks back to the screen. The preview picture shows him mid-laugh with the ocean behind him and the sun high in the sky. 

You angle the screen towards him so he can see it better and hit play. 

The video audio starts out soft, but it’s not long until the song starts playing. The chorus to Still Into You by Paramore blasts from your laptop speaker as a video clip of Johnny smiling and running around the beach flashes on the screen.

A series of videos of Johnny smiling and laughing, playing around, shopping, eating, working, and more, roll through as the music plays on. The entire video itself is only about a minute long, but it captures all your favourite things about him and all the memories you’ve shared with him. The video ends soon after and you realize he hadn’t spoken a word throughout the entire thing.

It makes you extremely nervous and you immediately think the worst. Does he not like it? Was this a stupid idea? Were your editing skills that bad?? You internally panic. You don’t even process he said anything until after a few moments.

“I loved it,” Johnny says softly. He was so entranced by the video that he wasn’t able to speak. Everything about it was perfect and the concept itself was so wholesome and he just loved it. The fact that you made it yourself, just for him, made the entire thing 1000x better in his opinion. 

“Really?” you ask, surprised. You turn your head to look at him and catch the tender gaze in his eyes. He sees you turn out of the corner of his eye and physically has to tear his sight away from the screen to look at you. “I wasn’t sure what to do because you’re really amazing and editing and taking videos and it’s your major and your videos always look so professional and put together and I just made this at 3am one night because I was looking back at our old videos and we’ve just been together for so long, yet I still feel the same way as I did in the beginning and like that’s crazy and weird and I don’t know. Honestly, it’s not that good and it’s really sloppy and-”

He shuts you up by pressing his lips against yours. The angle is honestly pretty awkward. He’s right behind you so you both have to stretch your necks to even look at each other and on top of that, he has to bend down to even be at your eye level, but it’s still perfect in your opinion. Everything he does is perfect.

“It’s amazing and I love it and I love you,” he smiles as he pulls away. You feel his arms tighten just the slightest as he leans down to kiss your neck. It’s really only a press of his lips on skin since he can’t wipe off the smile from his face.

“I love you too,” you giggle.

He gently leans forward to grab your laptop and sets it on the ground before turning you around in his lap so you face him again. He doesn’t waste time in kissing you fully on the lips and wrapping his arms back around your waist. 

You make a surprised squeak as you feel him lean back down to lay on the couch, bringing you down with him. 

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[queen-of-the-merry-men]

Around the Block (Glass Believer Fic)

A/N: So @findingtallahassee has written me a lot of prompts in the past and I wanted to write something for one of her OTPs. So here’s a short Glass Believer Hyperion Heights AU I thought of awhile ago where Henry is Jacinda’s Swift driver and she needs him to drive her around the block to calm her newborn. @trueloveismagic might be interested too.

------------------

It was getting late when Henry dropped off his latest Swift customer. As he watched the tipsy couple stumble out of his backseat he silently debated whether or not he should call it a night. It was 3am and the late-night crowd was waning but so was his bank account the last time he checked. Pulling, away from the curb he decided that it was time to head home. He’d clock in early tomorrow to make up his losses but for tonight he was done.

He barely driven a block when he got another ping on his Swift app. Groaning, he reluctantly took a look.

A new fare, less than two blocks away and he was the only one in a 10-minute radius. Twisting his lips indecisively, he wondered if it would be worth it to cart another drunk frat boy back to his apartment for the night. After a moment of hesitation he decided to accept. Rent was due soon, anyway.

He drove to address praying to god that whoever got in his backseat wasn’t the chatty type. It was far too late to pretend as if he was interested in anything other sleep this night.

His eyes widened when he pulled up to the curb and saw a woman dressed in blue plaid pajamas waiting on the street. Her lopsided ponytail swung back and forth as she jostled the car seat under her arm, attempting to stifle the long winded yawn he saw fly from her mouth. Before he even rolled down the window he could hear the unmistakable cry of an infant reach his ears.

“My name’s Henry,” he said, uncertainly. “I’m your Swift driver.”

“Oh thank god,” she sighed, reaching for the door handle.

Henry watched, his eyebrows knit together curiously, as she shoved the car seat with her wailing baby in the back before climbing in the front seat and letting out a tired breath.

“So... where are you headed?” he asked, raising his voice over the sound of her baby.

She shrugged. “Nowhere in particular.”

“Excuse me?”

The woman vaguely, gestured toward the road. “Just... drive around the block a few times, please.”

A confused chuckle fell from the back of Henry’s throat, as he shook his head at her. “Yeah... that’s not how this works.”

The mother bowed her head, letting out a tired moan before turning to him with desperate brown eyes. “Listen Henry... do you see that precious ball of joy back there?”

He nodded.

“That is my two-month old daughter, Lucy,” she explained. “I named her that because she is the light of my life... but that screeching sound that she’s making right now? Well, it was the first thing I heard when she was born and the only thing I’ve heard since. I have been up since 6am yesterday, trying to get her to stop and failing miserably.”

“Okay...”

“The only two breaks I’ve gotten,” she said, talking over him, “were on the cab ride home from the hospital and on the hour-long trip to visit my step sister. Apparently the only thing that soothes is the steady rumbling of a car engine so I... am... begging... you... please just take me around the block. Because I am about to lose my mind.”

Henry stared at her. On closer look he noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the spit up on her shoulder, both of them actually. All that combined with the wavering desperation in her voice as she begged him to drive her around the block painted a very visceral picture.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. “I will take around the block a few times. We’ll see how it goes.”

She shut her eyes gratefully. “Thank you. I will give you the best tip of your life, I promise.”

He doubted it, but as he pulled away from the curb with a crying infant and an exhausted mother as his passengers he couldn’t help but feel as though he’d been right to take the fare.

To her credit, the woman was right. They’d barely gone around the block once before Lucy began to settle. By their third time around, she’d gone completely silent and he was sure that she was sound asleep. He gave her two more laps to be sure, and pulled up to their building on the fifth, keeping an eye on her through the rear view mirror.

“Well, I’ll admit that worked better than I expected,” he said, cheerfully putting the car in park. “Think she’ll stay asleep for long?”

Realizing that he was getting only snores in response, his eyes whipped toward his passenger seat, where he saw Lucy’s mother out cold with her head against the window.

“Oh..no, no,” he said, gently shaking her shoulder. “Hey, wake up.”

Double checking her reservation, he starting calling out to her by name. “Jacinda... Jacinda it’s time to wake up.”

For all his efforts, Jacinda remained dead to the world and Henry dropped his head to the steering wheel and groaned. God, this was the night that would never end.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, the cackling beginnings of a cry began to rise from the back seat. Lifting his head from the steering wheel he looked back, worried, as Lucy started to cry again. Jacinda stirred in the front seat and though he knew it was probably the quickest way to get her out of his car, a part of Henry hesitated to let Jacinda wake up to a crying baby.

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath.

Rolling, his eyes he climbed into the backseat, placing a hand on Lucy’s stomach as she started to squirm. “Hey don’t cry,” he pleaded, in his calmest voice.

Lucy’s face turned red, as she outright ignored him and started to wail once again.

Henry grit his teeth, unsure of what to do next. He wondered if he should take her out of the car seat. Jacinda probably wouldn’t be too fond of that idea.

Lucy let out another wail and Henry reached for her seat belt buckle. Screw it. Maybe he was just tired but if her mother had the audacity to slip into a coma in his front seat, he should be able to comfort the baby anyway he saw fit.

Cradling her in arms, he tried to bounce Lucy to calm her down. It was ineffective. She squirmed and cried in his arms as he tried to remember what his mother had done when he was a baby. She said he used to read to him and tell him stories. Unfortunately, there was only one that he could think of at the moment.

“Okay Lucy,” he muttered. “The publishers didn’t like this one but maybe you will.”

He started telling her the warped fairy tale he’d been working on the past few years. One filled with redemption and curses, old feuds and two battling mothers. He whispered to her stories of a cursed town filled with miserable characters who had no idea who they were and the young boy who worked to save them. It was a long, twisted, confusing tale (according to the publishers) but Lucy seemed to enjoy it. Listening to him speak, her cries softened and eventually went silent. Her eyes didn’t shut but instead remained focused on him. He’d never had such an attentive audience.

Telling stories to her he didn’t even notice how much time slipped by.

---------

Sleep and rest. Jacinda had long forgotten what they felt like. Every since her daughter was born it’d been a 20 minute nap there and 10 minute break here. She hadn’t truly rested in weeks.

Perhaps that’s why she slept so soundly in Henry’s car. If she’d known it would be the last proper sleep she’d get for the next few weeks, maybe she would’ve felt less guilty but as it was she’d count falling asleep in her Swift driver’s car and leaving her baby to the whims of a stranger as one of her lowest parenting moments.

When she woke up, the first thing she noticed was how rested she’d felt. Her bones no longer ached and her head no longer felt heavy with sleep deprivation. For the first time in weeks her mind was clear was as the sky. That’s probably how the panic moved in so quickly.

Squinting, against the glare from the windshield, she noticed that the sun had started to rise and illuminate the street.

Wait... the street?

She abruptly sat forward in her seat and was jerked back by the seat belt across her chest. What hell? Her head whipped around, as she took in her surroundings. Was she in somebody’s... car?

“Don’t panic.”

She whipped her eyes to the back seat where she saw Henry sitting with her daughter in his arms.

“You’re safe,” he said.

One look at him, and everything came back. He was the Swift driver she’d ordered.

“What the hell are you doing?” she hissed, frightened. “Why do you have my baby?”

“Because I figured leaving her alone in the car would be reckless endangerment,” he deadpanned. “You fell asleep.”

“I realize that,” she said, embarrassment rising in her cheeks as she glared at him. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I tried,” he laughed. “After the first ten minutes I thought you were legally dead. You were out cold.”

“Oh my god,” she whispered, shutting her eyes and running her hand over her head. Did she really just fall asleep in a stranger’s car with her infant daughter? “Lucy...”

“Is fine,” said Henry. “We’ve really gotten to know each other these past two hours.”

Two hours? “Oh my god!” She jerked away her seatbelt and rushed out of the car. Opening the door to the backseat she held out her arms for her daughter. “Give her to me!”

Henry immediately passed over the baby, and Jacinda sobbed with relief, pulling her close. “Oh my god, baby I am so sorry.”

She looked her over, relieved that her daughter seemed no worse for wear. In fact, she seemed calmer than ever. Not a hint of tears in her eyes.

Henry climbed out of the backseat, pulling Lucy’s car seat with him. He looked her up and down. “I take it you don’t have much help.”

She looked at him, confused. “What?”

“No offense... but you slept like someone who’s doing it all on their own.”

She hesitated, before reluctantly nodding. “It’s just me. I have a roommate who helps as much as she can but she’s visiting her mom this week.”

Henry nodded understandingly, passing her the car seat. “Sounds rough.”

She kept herself from agreeing. She made a promise to herself when Lucy was born to never speak of her as if she was burden. Growing up that was all she’d heard from her stepmother and she didn’t want her daughter to feel the way she had. Instead she just nodded.

“It’s worth it,” she said, looking down at her daughter. “Every minute.”

“I bet,” he mumbled, dropping his gaze. “Listen if you ever need another ride around the block, call me.” He passed her a drab business card. “Hyperion Heights is kind of my territory.”

She let out a small awkward laugh as she took it from him. Henry Mills, FICTION WRITER.

“Fiction writer?” she noticed. “Anything I would know about?”

Henry shrugged his shoulders, opening the door to the driver’s seat. “Ask Lucy. She’s heard all my stories.”

They said goodbye with a nod and a small wave, Henry watching the two of them through his rearview mirror as he drove away, the picture of them sticking in his mind all the way home. After a quick shower, he’d collapse in bed wondering in she’d ever call him again.

When he woke up he’d check his Swift App to find the best tip of his life and a five star rating.

[collecting-stories]

Bond - Finn Shelby

Can you do a Finn Shelby x sisterreader bonding

I'm not caught up in Peaky Blinders, but could you do a Finn imagine where the fem reader tells everyone off because they keep pressuring Finn to act a certain way? Please and thank you x

Bond - Finn Shelby

While you kept your Shelby name, and your place in the family business, you interjected less in the personal life of your elder brother. It wasn't that you trusted Tommy to make decisions on his own, because most of his decisions proved to be ill-thought out, it was just that you wanted no part in the train wrecked aftermath of one of his ideas. You listened when John or Arthur complained about him but simply replied with a 'that's how Tom is' every time. The three of you were less drawn in by Tommy's charm, you all had reasonably good heads on your shoulders and weren't persuaded by his visions of grandeur.  

Finn was less resistant though. All Tommy had to do was treat the youngest Shelby like he was an adult for five seconds and Finn's resolve crumbled. He'd do anything Tommy asked in a heartbeat. And usually you stayed out of that too until Finn, bleary eyed and sleep deprived, showed up at your door at 3am. 

"Dear God, Finn Shelby you'll freeze to death out there, come in." You pulled your youngest brother into the small flat and sat him in a chair by the fire, going to get the blanket off your bed to wrap around him. It was snowing outside and the temperature just kept dropping. There were reports from the police that some of the less off had frozen to death overnight just the day before. "Did you walk all the way here?"

He nodded his head but said nothing. His face was bright red and tear-stained. He looked less like a sixteen-year-old and more like a child.  

"What's the matter then? Why've you come through the snow?" You asked, brushing his hair back. It was damp from the snow.  

"It's nothing." He managed, wiping at his nose and eyes. "It's nothing important."

"Well you've come all this way bub, it must be something important." You pointed out. You busied yourself making tea for him as he sat in silence. You kept glancing back at him.  

It was easy to justify the things you or Tommy or Arthur or John had done in your lives. You were all years older than Finn, things had been different when you were a kid. There was no one to watch out for you and your brothers except the four of you and, being so close in age, none of you really knew how to protect the others from the hard parts of life. When the boys had enlisted and gone to war you'd stayed behind. In that time you'd grown to more of a mother than a sister for Finn. He was young and you were determind to let him be young. You didn't want him missing out on his childhood or having to deal with all the hard parts.  

Tommy accused you of spoiling Finn. No matter how you tried to make Tommy see your side he wanted to raise Finn in the business. He claimed that Finn and Isaiah were the future of Shelby Limited and if he treated them like children than they'd never grow up. You didn't fight Tommy on it, simply because Finn seemed perfectly fine to follow Tommy around like a lapdog, eager to please his older brother.  

You had a good feeling, or rather a horrible one, that whatever had upset Finn had everything to do with Tommy. He idolized his brother but sometimes Tommy used that idolism against him.  

"Will you tell me what happened?"

"You'll be upset with me." Finn finally reasoned, looking both heart-broken and nervous.  

"Finn," you pulled a stool over to sit in front of him, leaning forward to hold his hands in yours, "nothing you've done could upset me."

He began than, in full detail, with tears soaking his skin, to tell you how Tommy had thought it was a good idea to pay a woman for sex with him. He relayed how he didn't want to and he was nervous and how he didn't want to upset Tommy because his brother had told him how he'd be more of a man then. He wanted to be part of the company so bad. He said he'd done cocaine with her, more than he'd done before when he and Isaiah were messing around, and that he'd gotten sick afterward. Then he'd come to yours, through the snow, without his shoes on because he was so upset he just wanted to get out of that house. 

"It's alright love." You soothed him, having moved to fit in the chair with him, holding his head to your shoulder and stroking his hair the same way you would've had he been ten and scrapped his knee. "You're alright."

"I just want Tommy to be proud of me." He admitted.  

"I know, and he knows that." You answered.

In the morning, while Finn slept off the night in your bed, you went to find Tommy. He was in the old betting shop, in his office with Arthur and you nearly broke the front door when you slammed it open. You hollered his name, Linda looking on startled as you stomped through the house to the back.  

"Get the fuck out here right now!" You shouted, not caring what other members of the business were around to see you.  

"What have you come in disrupting work for this time?" Tommy asked. He came out of his office and stood in the betting shop, arms crossed as he waited for an explanation. He looked as if he was your father waiting to scold you for something bad you'd done.  

"Finn came to see me last night." You indicated.  

"What've you done Tom?" Arthur asked, glancing over at his younger brother.  

"I've done nothing. I took Finn out for a learning experience."

"A learning experience? You're a fucking piece of shit you know that Thomas. You know full well that boy idolizes you and how do you treat him? You fucking manipulate him every chance you get. He's not one of your lackeys that'll do whatever you say at the drop of a hat."

"He had no problem with it last night." Tommy replied easily.

"Then why'd he come to my flat upset?" You asked.  

"The world is not so nice just because the war is over and he's not a child. It's about time he grew up and learned a thing or two." Tommy argued, "the rest of us had to. You can't baby him forever."

"I'm not babying him Tommy. But for God's sake is this the best future you can imagine for him? Stuck in fucking Birmingham running this business? There are better lives out there that he could have, he's not us. He doesn’t have to grow up so fast the way we did. He gets better chances and you want to take that away from him."

"This is the best chance he'll get. He'll be well off and he'll keep the family name."

"You don't think about anyone but yourself Tommy. Don't masquerade this as caring about Finn."  

"Everything I do is for this family. Finn needs to step up and help, we all work together for this organization. It's how it's done."

"He's not John!" You snapped. "He's not there as a backup because you and your ambition got your brother killed."  

Arthur called your name, a warning tone to his voice.  

"We're done here." Tommy announced.  

"We are. And when I walk out that door just know I'm not coming back to Birmingham and neither is Finn." You replied.  

Tommy looked as if he wanted to say something but decided against it and instead walked into the office and slammed the door shut. Arthur followed you to the front door, stopping you just before you walked out. "Give him time, we're all hurting."  

"He can't see very far passed his own nose. I'm not sure time is what he needs."

"Just wait a week."  

"Wherever I go I'm still a Shelby. I know what that name means, it's Tommy that wants it to mean something else entirely." You replied.  

My smol son Finn Shelby. 

[drundertalescum]

Hey for the mini fic thing, how about Underswap pap been unable to sleep for some reason so he sits on his bed, smoking because why not and thinks about something, like a really bad joke thing that his tired mind thinks is hella hilarious so he bursts out laughing and almost drop his cigarette onto his bed, maybe?

This went somewhere else entirely. Blame it on me being tired and my sleepy mind thinking it was funny. It’s probably not. I am very sorry.

Warnings for some vague potential emetophobia triggers and rated D for Drugs. Also extraordinarily bad decision making.

(Also this ended up WAY longer than I wanted it to be because i had sleep-deprived ideas and I couldn’t resist my USPapyrus-is-the-biggest-dork-of-all headcanons.)

——-

It was 3am again, and Papyrus could not sleep a wink.

That wasn’t unusual. He’d always had trouble sleeping, and once upon a time, he’d accepted that completely. Night had always been working time, where he’d take himself to the shed and build prototypes and personal projects and things to impress his bosses… but those days were long gone.

Plus, Sans had really been after him lately about sleeping more, eating better, making healthy choices, etc etc etc. So, Papyrus figured he should at least try to sleep for once.

Healthy choices. Healthy, healthy choices. For his health. Which was important.

…

Papyrus was gonna do drugs.

Yeah.  Yeah, he was going to take a drugs now. Or… uh… okay, he didn’t know the “lingo” for doing illicit substances, but he was going to do it.

See, there was this guy in town, Doggo, who ran the Inn. Super nice guy, never once laughed at him, and sometimes they smoked together. Papyrus was hesitant to use the “F word” and risk making it weird, but they had become pretty good acquaintances over the years they’d known each other. They would talk sometimes in Muffet’s, or Doggo would let him stay in the Inn for free sometimes when he was ducking responsibilities he couldn’t quite face right then and there.

Doggo and him would usually just share cigarettes together, but on occasion, the innkeeper would pull out something else to smoke: a dog treat. He’d offered him a try, said they were great for relaxing, unwinding, great for the “bad days” and Papyrus… well, he’d been very tempted. He did have a lot of bad days, though he didn’t like to admit it, but he’d declined at the time for fear of embarrassing himself. What if it was like the first time he smoked, coughing and choking and looking decidedly uncool?

No thanks.

But he’d been intrigued, and a few days ago, he nervously went into the Dogi’s shop to grab a few things, but really just the one thing (the others were distractions, a clever ruse!): Dog treats. He didn’t know which ones were the good kind, so he just bought the cheap ones, trying not to draw attention to himself and his illicit items (which were sold over the counter? In broad daylight?? The whole town had to be in on it… a drug conspiracy right under the Queen’s snout! And now he was a part of it! He felt dangerous! And cool! And a part of something! It was awesome.) He did a good job. C+ for effort, he thought. Maybe flinging himself out of the window to leave quickly and stealthily was not the best option, in the end. He’d thought it was open? It wasn’t. So he’d had to stumble back in and sheepishly offer to pay for a new one. They hadn’t been too mad about it, though. He guessed they were used to it.

He had intended to smoke one that very night, but he’d chickened out. And again the next night, and again, and again.

But now, well, they helped with bad days, right? Well, while the day had been fine, the night had been miserable, and he really could use something to unwind.

So tonight was the night. Papyrus was going to do drugs. Illegally.

Wow… he really had fallen, hadn’t he? No. No, no, nevermind, that didn’t, he wasn’t going to think about that. He was going to think about how cool he would look when Doggo offered him a treat and he accepted. He was going to think about how much sleep he was going to get once he finally unwound. Sleep champion. Sleep master. Master of the sleep. And the illicit substances.

Sans was hoping to be so disappointed if he ever found out… No! No no no! Not thinking about that! No! Stop! Bad thoughts! Begone!

Shoo!

Okay. Okay, this proved it. He needed it. He couldn’t turn his mind off no matter how much he wanted to sometimes, and this was probably what he needed.

Forcing himself to move quickly before he lost his nerve again, Papyrus pulled out his lighter and lit up the treat. This part came with practiced ease, though the lighting part took quite a bit longer than lighting up dry leaves and paper. This thing was kinda thick and slightly oily (and the thought of that made him feel sick, but he wouldn’t think about it. He just wouldn’t think about it.) which made his task a bit harder, but it didn’t last long enough to let the doubts back in.

Those waited until after he took his first drag, and it was exactly as awful as he’d imagined it might be– and then some.

Bleh!!

But… he forced himself not to think about it as he took a second, longer, slower drag, trying to savor the intense flavors. And… it… was…

…still awful, but maybe an acquired taste? And maybe he could acquire it. The texture wasn’t quite as bad on second try, and he was feeling… maybe a little more relaxed? Just a bit. But these things took a bit to kick in (probably. At least they did on TV.) and if it helped, then…

Yeah, actually, yeah. He felt calmer. Lighter, now. Suddenly the stress about this all wasn’t so bad, and he wasn’t as nervous, and that was a very great result to have.

Papyrus leaned back on his bed, thinking pleasantly about very little besides just how nice this was, to not have to worry about every little thing, if only for a little while. How long did these last, anyway? He didn’t know, and maybe that should have scared him, but it didn’t. He could accept waiting a little while, being a little more mellow for a bit, instead of just pretending to be all the time.

Yeah, that was a really nice thought. Wowie, all his thoughts he’d had since he started smoking this had been really nice! He got the appeal now, even more than he already had.

It still tasted awful of course. His expression with every drag was likely rather uncool, so trying this alone had been a smart move (at least a smart move for his cool, casual reputation. He wasn’t far gone enough to not realize that this decision was in most other ways not a smart move.), but he was becoming more used to it, and his winces were getting easier and easier to hide.

Maybe the next time he did this, he would look really cool, really practiced and great, and everyone would think he was a seasoned veteran of drugs. King of the drugs. Or was that technically treasonous to say? At the very least, it wasn’t very nice, the real king being missing and all. Duke of the drugs? He didn’t think there was a duke anywhere that he would be insulting by taking on that title, so that was probably a better fit.

Duke Papyrus, Duke of the Drugs. Drug Duke.

Drug Duke Papyrus!

He giggled to himself. He didn’t know why it was so funny, but it was. It was so, so funny.

The giggles escalated into chuckles, then full-on laughter, and it only got worse, until he clamped his hands over his jaws to stop the sound from getting loud enough to wake up Sans, and for some reason that made it even funnier still, because how the heck was he going to explain this one? That he was cracking up laughing at a dumb name he just came up with because the letters both started with D. Was that even why he was laughing?

Nyeh heh heh!!! He didn’t know but it was funny! It was funny that it was so funny and it was funny that being so funny was just so funny to him because it normally wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t for all the hardcore drugs, and “drugs” just made him think it the words once again, and thus the cycle repeated until he was crying, fully aware in the back of his mind that this was dumb, this was ridiculous, this was just stupid and incredibly uncool no matter how many drugs were involved, but the rest of his mind (the drugged part? Probably) refused to let reason in on this moment, because it was a good, nice moment, free of self-consciousness and anxiety and restlessness and self-conscious anxiety about restlessness.

So he ignored that voice for a while and laughed. He nearly lost the treat through the giggles, catching it only at the last second and falling off the bed in the process with a clatter of bone on wood.

And normally, that would be the part where he thought about how stupid he must look, how ridiculous and uncool. But instead, he thought about how stupid he must look, how ridiculous and uncool, and he laughed. Because it was funny. He was being silly, and it was actually funny.

A knock came at the door, jerking him out of his laughter but not quite out of hit nice mood.

“…Papyrus? You okay in there…??”

“YES I AM PAPYRUS I AM FINE!!!”

“… Did you fall off the bed?”

“YES BUT IT– I’m fine! I just… um. Well I guess I just fell. Huh.”

“Did you… did you have a nightmare again?”

“Nah, just… I swear, I’m fine, brother. Bro. I’m totally fine.”

“… alright, well, just make sure you get some sleep, okay? Healthy choices, like we talked about?”

Papyrus glanced down at the treat in his hand, feeling the joy roll over in his soul into something more akin to guilt, mixed with nausea, elevated mood crashing down into something murky and awful.

“YEAH bro. I was JUST laying BACK down. GOOD NIGHT, SANS!”

He thought he heard a sigh from the other side of the door. Was he really that obvious? “…Night, Papyrus”

He heard the slippered footsteps padding down the hall and let out a sign of his own. What the hell was he doing? Sitting around in his room, doing this stuff? This was dumb. And now he felt sick. And he didn’t really feel quite so goofy and giddy and light anymore. Just tired and guilty and sick.

Really sick, actually.

He shoved down a feeling that threatened to come up. Oh no. What if he was going to die?

Oh no. He was going to die.

He quickly weighed the options in his head, and again, and again, before finally deciding to swallow his pride. He pulled out his cell phone. It was, marginally, better to be alive and uncool than dead and (perhaps) somewhat cool.

Marginally.

He called up Doggo. If anyone would know what to do, he would.

It felt like it rung forever, but finally the answer came, and he immediately attempted to explain the entire thing, from misguided start to his imminent death, blathering on incoherently and with no real direction, but talking faster than he ever had outside of the laboratory.

He cursed the drugs for making him sound so inarticulate. Normally, he was articulate as heck when he needed to be. Sort of. He was better than this, at least!

(…God, he was better than this. He was so much better than this.)

“Whoa, whoa, pup, slow down. Take it easy. Breathe with me. C’mon. Deep breaths, okay?” Doggo demonstrated and Papyrus nodded, only to feel a flush of what was either embarrassment or illness when he realized Doggo couldn’t see him through the phone. That wasn’t a normal thing. At least he couldn’t see his blushing. “Good, good. Alright. Now, you said you took something?”

“D-DOG TREAT,” he replied, not even trying to suppress his natural tone, only quieting his volume enough to ensure that Sans wouldn’t hear, even if he hadn’t gotten back to sleep. The walls weren’t very thick.

“ Okay, okay good, I see why you called me, then. You made a good decision, okay? I can help you through this,” Doggo’s mostly-soothing voice broke into an inaudible mumble for a moment, and Papyrus could just barely read out the words “bad trip” from out all. Oh no. He was having a bad trip. That couldn’t be good. He didn’t know what that meant but it couldn’t be good at all. “Where’d you get it?”

“D-DOGI.”

“…you what?”

The guilt was too much. “I KNOW, I KNOW. I PURCHASED ILLICIT SUBSTANCES IN BROAD, OPEN DAYLIGHT FROM THE LOCAL GENERAL STORE. I’VE GONE ROGUE; I’M SORRY! IF I SURVIVE I WILL NEVER TAKE A DRUG AGAIN.”

“… The Dogi don’t deal, Papyrus.”

“WHAT? OF COURSE THEY DEAL? THEY DEALED! RIGHT THERE IN THE OPEN! IN FRONT OF THE COUNTER! AT EYE LEVEL WITH CHILDREN! DRUGS! THEY DEALED ME RIGHT THERE, AND THE DEAL WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME, DOGGO. THE DEAL WAS TOO MUCH! I AM DYING. I AM HIGH AND I AM DYING.”

“What was the name on the label?”

He paused to think. Why did that matter? “…CHEWY-CHEWY GOODBOYS.”

Doggo rolled his eyes at the name, a look of disgust on his face. Oh no. He didn’t pick the cool drugs. Doggo thought he wasn’t cool.

“Those ain’t drugged. They aren’t even good.” He mumbled, “they take the name of the Good Boy in vain,” too, but Papyrus didn’t hear it, caught up on processing the first part of that.

“… What exactly do you mean, they aren’t drugged? They're… they’re dog treats?”

“Papyrus… my ‘treats’ aren’t actually… they aren't… they’re special. I buy them out of town from some crazy guy in Waterfall.” Papyrus wondered for a split second before he cut off the train of thought. He wasn’t going to even consider that possibility. There were probably plenty of crazy guys who lived in Waterfall. Besides he was dying, so that was something he needed to focus on right now. “It’s good stuff, but they aren’t actual dog treats. They just look like it so I can keep em hidden. I don’t actually smoke dog treats; they’re dog treats.”

“Then why do… WHAT… uh… WHY ARE THE dog treats SO popular, thEn? If THEY AREN'T…?”

“Because we’re dogs, Papyrus. We like treats.”

Papyrus blinked. “Uncool” did not come close to how he was feeling right now. It was all so obvious. “…S-SO… THE REAL DRUGS WERE INSIDE OF ME ALL ALONG?”

Doggo laughed, then, strong and loud, but Papyrus got the impression, at least, that he was laughing at his words and not directly at him. “I guess you could say that! Something like that!”

“I AM AN IDIOT.”

“Nah, trust me, I been there. You just made some mistakes. Listen, you good to walk down here to the Inn?”

“Uh… WHY?”

“You said you were sick, right? And they may not have had drugs in them but you still smoked everything else that was in that crap. You might have imagined the high but you probably didn’t imagine the sickness, and you probably don’t wanna explain this one too that brother of yours, do ya?”

“N-NO. No, I really don’t. I’LL UH… I’ll pack an overnight bag and head over. I’ll be there in a little under 12 minutes.”

“Alright, I’ll keep the back unlocked for you.”

Papyrus smiled weakly, feeling the roiling in his core again. “Thanks, Doggo. You’re a really good dog!”

“Heh, hey no problem, Papyrus. That’s what friends are for, right? See ya in 12.”

“S-SEEYA!!!”

The call ended.

Papyrus smiled again, a little stronger, this time. The F word hadn’t made it weird at all! It had already been too weird to make weirder! A success story!

He didn’t really have much time to enjoy that, though, because he was definitely very much about to be sick.

…maybe he would look into this “healthy choices” thing a little closer after the mess that was tonight.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Vital Signs, pt7

Vital Signs Masterlist

Word Count: 2344 Author’s Note: I’ve been fixing some grammar errors as I go. Wow. I made a lot of them. Tags: @to-pick-ourselves-up-7, @outside-the-government, @jimfromsales, @donnaintx​

Running with Steve every morning had been good for me in more ways than one. It motivated me to get home at night instead of staying at the hospital to study, and ensured I actually took the run that relaxed me every day. I was more focused when I was at work or studying as a result, and started to feel less worried about my boards. Which was a good thing as they were bearing down on me with alarming speed. I was scheduled for my oral exam in just days.

I was getting ready to leave work, and was just cramming my books into my bag when the door to the locker room slammed open. I jumped, and my heart started to race. The rest of the residency cohort was coming in to knock off for the night as well.

“Lexy, are you sticking around for the all-nighter tonight? We are ordering pizza if we can get 40 questions right each in 30 minutes,” Erica tempted me. I shook my head, but Jamie jumped in to answer before I could.

“No, she’ll be going home. She has that guy she runs with every morning.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes. Erica and Chan made that ‘woooo’ noise that little girls make when teasing each other about cooties and boys, and dissolved into giggles. I was actually kind of touched. I’d been making a bigger effort to be sociable with the other residents, and it was clearly paying off if they felt comfortable teasing me.

“Is he good in bed? He’s pretty hot. Even if he’s bad in bed, at least you can just look at him,” Erica asked. I choked. On nothing. I couldn’t even pass it off as choking on a drink because my hands were empty. I just choked. Jamie came running over to see if I needed the Heimlich, but he couldn’t help but laugh at me once he realized why it had happened. Pretty soon everyone except me was laughing. I was just trying to regain my composure and stop coughing.

“I don’t know,” I admitted when I got my voice back. The laughter stopped.

“You haven’t slept with him?” Jamie was incredulous. I shook my head.

“We work together,” I offered as explanation.

“Oh please, Chan and Jamie slept with each other all last year!” Erica exclaimed. Chan threw a textbook at Erica and Jamie thumped his head against his locker in embarrassment.

“Well, we haven’t.” I tried to shut down the conversation.

“But you’re into him!” Erica exclaimed. I pulled my coat out of the locker, “You must be into him, otherwise why would you be passing up pizza and board studying to go home so you can run in the morning?”

“Because it keeps me sane.” I shut my locker and headed home.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised that my nightmares started again. I had never slept well when I was under stress, but with boards looming, not even my morning runs were helping anymore. I tossed most of the night. So much so that I contemplated actually heading back to the hospital to study, and then thought better of it. It would probably stress me out more. And bumping my run to 3am was also not a particularly bright idea. By morning, I was dragging, and almost texted Steve to back out of running. He knocked on my door before I could find my phone though.

“You spend the night studying?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No, just didn’t sleep well.”

“You’re off now until after your boards, right?” He asked. I nodded. He stepped inside and shut the door. He opened my fridge, looked disgusted, closed it, took my hand and led me out of the apartment.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he started dragging me upstairs. I was barefoot, and still in my pajamas.

“Come on, I’m making you breakfast. You apparently don’t ever buy groceries.” He pushed me into his apartment and made me sit down on the couch. Before I could react, he had put a cup of coffee in my hand, and walked back into the kitchen. I found myself drawn to sit and watch him again. He was a pretty incredible cook, and watching him was like watching a show on the food network. In fact, he could probably get a show on the food network if he was willing to let everyone in the world know he was Captain America. Or if he cooked naked. He put a plate down in front of me, and handed me a fork. He stood opposite me, and dug into his breakfast. Bacon and eggs. It had been years since I’d allowed myself bacon and eggs. I didn’t need to be told twice. I devoured everything on my plate in moments.

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Go. Sit on the couch. We’re going to watch some terrible action movie and relax, then we’ll go for our run. You can get back to killing yourself with studying this afternoon. I’m loving this Netflix thing you set up, by the way.” He started washing dishes with his back to me.

“Dude. You have a dishwasher.” I didn’t really mind. I was admiring the view. There was something so humble and unselfconscious about Steve. I think he probably knew he was insanely hot, but he just didn’t seem to care. And that lack of awareness, coupled with his incredible shoulders and really nice backside made for an amazing package. Shit, Erica was right. I was really into him. That was going to be problematic.

“I don’t trust it. And it’s faster to just wash them. The one time I ran the thing the noise was incredible and it took an hour. I can wash up in about 20 minutes without all the racket.” The stack of dishes beside the sink was starting to stack up. I grabbed a dishtowel and started drying.

“I don’t know where anything goes. Do you want me to wash and you dry?” I offered.

“I want you to get back on the couch and relax. But I’ll accept you drying the dishes because I know you’re going to fight me about it.” He hip checked me lightly. I checked him back and obviously took him off guard, as he stumbled away from the sink.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Steve. I grew up in Canada. Hockey wasn’t my sport, but I know how to throw a check,” I teased. He laughed and shook his head. When he finished washing, he took the dishtowel from me to finish drying. I protested, but he wound up the towel and snapped me on the ass to get me out of the kitchen. I surrendered, but not before topping up my coffee cup.

“What are we watching, Steve? I’ll get us set up?” I asked from the couch.

“Pick something with lots of action, and not much plot,” he suggested. I turned on the TV and flipped to the action section on Netflix. That was about as far as I got before he jumped onto the couch beside me. I squeaked, clearly not expecting him to jump onto the couch from behind me. He laughed and put an arm around my shoulder. Turns out he just wanted to steal the remote from me, but he left his arm across my back, and I let him. Eventually, I relaxed enough that I leaned into his chest and got comfortable. He picked something that Stallone was in, that I hadn’t seen since I was a kid. It was a good choice, but I kept drifting to sleep. I would snap back awake every few minutes, but eventually, I just succumbed to my sleep deprivation and dozed off with Steve’s arm around me.

The smell of burning everything was everywhere. It was hard to describe, as it was a mix of burning wood, and gasoline, and human flesh. The air was thick with smoke, and my eyes were watering. I was making my way through the wreckage of the small New Mexico town, looking for survivors among the debris. It was madness. I shouldn’t have even been there, but I’d be doing a work-study rotation at a SHIELD mobile outpost to ensure I would fit with the ‘corporate culture’ once I finished my residency. And somehow managed to get into the path of an enormous fire-shooting robot alien from hell.

“Richmond, I have agents down on the roof of the Donutland. Go!” My earpiece chirped at me. I ran to the fire escape, threw my med kit on my back and started climbing. I was too late.

“These two are gone. You’ll need dental for ID,” I called back after a quick assessment. They were charred to the point of being unrecognizable. The smell was overwhelming, and suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d never smelled or seen anything like it. I just made it to the edge of the building before I puked. I rinsed my mouth and headed back down the fire escape to see to the people I could actually help. But there weren’t many. They were calling the thing the Destroyer over the comms. It was an apt name. Everything it had targeted was obliterated in fire and smoke.

I found another agent under a car that had been blown up. His arm was gone, his legs were crushed. I vomited again and started shaking. And screaming. It was more than I was ready or capable of handling, and it was far too soon.

“Lex, wake up! Wake up!” Steve was shaking me, and the most horrible screams I’d ever heard were coming from somewhere. I drew in a breath and it stopped. It was me. I put my hands over my ears and curled into a ball. Steve pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back.

“No. No. No,” I moaned. I couldn’t get the smell and taste out of my throat.

“What the hell, Lex?” Steve pushed me back so he could look at my face. I had never heard him use anything close to a curse word before. I took a gasping breath and started to cry. He smoothed my hair and pulled me close again, murmuring reassurances. I drifted back to sleep while still crying, secure in his tight embrace. When I woke, I was sprawled across his chest. His head was tilted back and he was snoring quietly. I put my hand on his chest to push myself off him. His hand covered mine and held me where I was.

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere. What the hell happened, Lex?”

“I had a nightmare. It’s nothing,” I stiffened.

“You told me once I could talk to you and you wouldn’t say anything. I’m giving you the same courtesy. But if you don’t tell me what that was about, I will go to Fury.” He was stern. My eyes widened. He was serious. He was Captain Motherfucking America serious. I pushed myself into a sitting position and took a deep breath.

“A few months before they found you, there was an incident in New Mexico. This giant robot thing blew the hell out of a town. I was in a rotation with the mobile unit that was nearest, dealing with something we initially didn’t think was related. Anyhow, when the robot thing started blowing the fuck out of the town, the med team was sent in to deal with casualties. I had never been in the field. I’m not even a doctor yet. I wasn’t a nurse at the time. I was just a med student whose idea of trauma was broken bones and bullet wounds. I found three agents burned to a crisp by the thing. I didn’t think I was ever going to stop screaming.” I looked at my hands the whole time I spoke.

“You have shell shock. Lex, you should never have been in that situation, you’re a -“

“Steve, you can’t. You can’t make it go away because I am a girl. The world has changed so much since you crashed. Women are in combat situations all the time now. I just wasn’t prepared,” I interrupted.

“I knew a helluva lot of nurses in the war, and they were all women. It has nothing to do with a woman not being in a combat situation. I was going to say you were a med student, and shouldn’t have been out there without better training.”

“Oh. Uh, it’s called post-traumatic stress disorder now.”

“Sure. Steve’s not quite as backward and old-fashioned as you thought, is he?” He teased. I could tell he was hurt by my assumption though.

“I’m sorry,” I teared up again, and then flushed with anger. I had been fine for ages and suddenly the slightest stress and I was in crazytown again. Steve pulled me back into his arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You are safe, and you are fine, and you will be ready next time.”

“I’m so sorry, I should have said something this morning.” I couldn’t stop the tears, but I was at least able to form words.

“What exactly would you have said? Oh, Steve, I slept poorly because I’m having nightmares, so even though I have no reason to share this immense trauma I’ve endured, I’m going to warn you that if I fall asleep on your couch, there’s a possibility I might wake up screaming? Alexandra, as far as my memory is working, it’s been about 6 months since I was fighting Hydra. I very keenly recall what shell shock looks like in soldiers, and it looks no different on you. You have nothing to apologize for.” Steve shook his head, “Now relax, and go back to sleep. You need rest. I am here.”

He gathered me back into his arms again, and rubbed my back rhythmically until I fell back to sleep. And stayed that way for the rest of the day, without another nightmare.