#this has to be canon compliant and SO in character or else the author will strike me down

[vintagebuckybarnes]

Sandwiches And Sticky Fingers

Pairing -> Husband! Dad! Bucky Barnes x Wife! Mom! Fem! Reader

Total Wordcount -> 1.8K

Summary -> As your daughters are growing up, Bucky enjoys spending as much time as possible with his little family. Today, as the weather is lovely, he offers to have a picnic in your backyard, which is an offer you simply can’t refuse as it’ll be some welcome family time after a long week.

Tags & Warnings -> Canon compliant, stay-at-home dad! Bucky Barnes, established relationship (marriage), domestic fluff, a tiny bit of angst, references to Bucky's past (nondescriptive), mention/reference of a bad past relationship (nondescriptive), reader is nicknamed ‘Sunshine,’ no use of y/n.

Story rating -> Teen

Author’s Note -> As of right now, I officially have a tag list where you can add yourself! I will also add to the list as I write for different characters and participate in writing challenges. If you’d like to be tagged in my stories, you can add yourself to my tag list here.

Writing Prompts @fandombingo -> “There was never anyone else for me.” | Bucky Barnes @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition -> “You’re so red.”

The sun outside shines brightly, covering the entire garden and your house in a beautiful golden hue. Your husband, Bucky, is enjoying some alone time as he makes breakfast for you and himself, and two pink bottles of milk are slowly warming up in the designated machine. He’s usually up an hour or two before you, and your twin daughters, and he likes to use that time to go on a long morning run with his best friend, Steve, to burn off some extra energy that is a result of the super soldier serum pumps through his veins.

As the sunlight enters your bedroom, showering everything in a warmth that always makes you happy, you wake up before stretching out, ready to start the day. After a quick look on the baby monitor—where you see both girls still sound asleep—you grab one of Bucky’s well-worn henleys, slip it on, and bring the fabric to your nose to inhale his masculine, comforting scent. A hum falls off your lips as a smile tugs on the corners of your mouth.

Finally, you make your way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Bucky is humming along to some music from the 40’s, his entire body moving to the beat as he effortlessly flips the next chocolate chip pancake - your favorite.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” he says as he looks over his shoulder, meeting your gaze as he does. A flurry of butterflies is going wild in your stomach, heat surging through your veins as Bucky’s eyes darken from their usual bright blue to a darker blue while the pure need for you surges through his body. Within less than five steps, he’s standing in front of you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks as he takes a moment to admire your features.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs before leaning in, his lips on yours in a captivating kiss that has you gripping his shirt tightly. Even after a few years of marriage, he still takes your breath away every single day. Bucky’s hands wander from your cheeks down to your neck, his thumbs tilting your head slightly to get even better access to your soft, pink lips, and goosebumps arise on the skin he’s touching.

“Bucky-” is all you can say, but you don’t finish your sentence as the machine warming your girls’ bottles is beeping, letting you know they’re ready to go. A wide smile spreads as you push your forehead against your husband’s, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth.

“I love you, Sunshine, so much. Now, if you go get the girls, I’ll finish breakfast, okay?” he asks softly, and you nod before stealing a few more pecks and turning around, your hips swaying a little extra with every step. As soon as you open the door to the room your twins share, you can hear them babbling away at one another, and your heart swells with love.

“Good morning, girls! Are you two ready to get some breakfast with Mommy and Daddy this morning?” you ask as you lower the side of the crib that houses your first daughter - Isabelle - ready to scoop into your arms. She coos happily at you, and you kiss her chubby cheek as you walk over to her sister - Rebecca - scooping her up with your free arm. Thankfully, Bucky had already changed their diapers before going on his run earlier this morning, meaning you don’t have to worry about them until after breakfast. You can go straight to the kitchen as your stomach is rumbling with hunger.

“Who’s ready to go and see Daddy?!” you ask them excitedly, making Bucky smile as he hears you over the baby monitor on the kitchen counter. He lets out a content sigh as he finishes setting the table, just in time for you to walk in with your daughters. Rebecca immediately stretches her arms out to be held by Bucky, which has become their morning routine whenever you’re home.

With you being gone for work early in the morning and Bucky taking on the role of a stay-at-home dad at his request, he has been bonding with them in a way he never would have considered before meeting you. Ever since he got the chance to meet you, you have shown him what he deserves by giving it to him and more, and even though it is still a struggle some days, he now embraces his life with open arms, which is a massive help with his recovery, too.

“I’ve been thinking, what do you think of having a picnic in the backyard this afternoon? After they’ve gone down for their nap, we can spread out a blanket on the grass as we have some snacks for us, and they’ll get their bottles outside, as well,” he offers; you don’t have to think about it for even a second before you let him know you agree, and Bucky feels like he’s on cloud nine at the thought of spending the afternoon all together.

Bucky spreads a large picnic blanket in your backyard underneath a large beach umbrella to allow for shade. While you’re busy cutting up fruit in the kitchen, you suddenly get very distracted by the sight of your husband bending over in a pair of tight, black jeans that show off his backside beautifully as you start to salivate a bit at the thought of giving it a spanking or two. Then, as if he senses your eyes on him, he turns around with a quirked brow, letting you know you got caught.

In an effort to play it off like nothing happened, you go back to cutting the large, juicy watermelon you bought at a farmers market you and your twins attended after breakfast, but it’s all to no avail.

“You can’t help yourself, can you, Sunshine? Ogling innocent men as they’re just spreading out a blanket in their backyard,” Bucky purrs as he gently pushes himself against your back, his firm chest and chiseled abdomen pressed against you as his large hands rub your arms.

Why does he have to look and feel like he’s been cut out of marble? You think as you close your eyes. The way he presses against you has you wanting him more and more every second, and when his lips are leaving a trail of kisses on your neck and bare shoulder, your brain is about to shortcircuit completely. As you drop the knife on the counter, you and Bucky snap back to reality at the loud sound.

“Oh god, I-I’m sorry!” you say as heat surges through your cheeks, embarrassment and bad memories flooding your body and mind as you try to regain yourself.

“Sunshine, can you look at me for a moment?” Bucky gently asks, and you turn around after he steps back to allow you some room to move.

“It’s okay- we’re okay. I know you dropped the knife, but no one got hurt, and everyone is okay. I’m not mad,” he says reassuringly, and you can’t help but tear up a little as he says it. Before meeting Bucky, you’ve come out of a nasty relationship, and as much as you’ve shown him the life he deserves, he’s also shown you the life you deserve to live, even though it hasn’t been easy for either of you.

“Are you sure?” you ask in a small voice, and Bucky nods before extending his hand. He wants to give you the choice of being touched, and you put your hand in his before stepping into his comforting arms. As he whispers sweet words into your hair, your heart rate goes down, and the anxiety you felt earlier also leaves your body as you enjoy the moment.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you say before standing on your tiptoes and kissing him on the cheek, leaving him to blush intensely at your show of affection. A goofy smile splits his face as he feels like a teenager in love who just got kissed on the cheek by their crush, and he can never get enough of feeling this way. After you’ve returned to cutting the red, juicy fruit, Bucky has gone to get the twins, changing their diapers before taking them outside, ready to enjoy the picnic.

“Look who’s there with your bottles! It’s Mommy!” Bucky says enthusiastically as you’re holding the girls’ milk bottles in one hand and a basket with containers of sandwiches and fruit in the other. As you walk over, Bucky admires the way you look like a goddess with the sun shining beautifully on you, smiling as he does. While he always knows he’s lucky to have fallen in love with someone like you, moments like this cement it for him.

“What’ve you been staring at, Handsome? You’re so red, the colors of your cheeks are rivaling the strawberries I cut up earlier,” you say teasingly as you sit down on one of the pillows Bucky brought outside, and he turns his head to Isabelle, who’s looking up at him with big, curious eyes.

“Do you hear that, Izzy? Your Mommy is teasing me and telling me I look like a strawberry! Can you believe it?!” he says with faux-offense, immediately making you chuckle as he does. In moments like this, you’re falling in love with him all over again. He’s a natural dad, and it always felt right when you talked about him becoming a stay-at-home dad. He’s doing a fantastic job raising your daughters; you can’t help but tell him exactly that.

“Bucky?” you say, grabbing his attention for a moment.

“I love you and am so happy to have married you. Before meeting you, I only thought I had met the love of my life, but nothing was further from the truth - it was only when I got to know you that I realized there was never anyone else for me. You’re my soulmate, true love, and happily ever after.”

For a moment, Bucky stays silent as he lets your words sink in; the amount of love makes his heart overflow. His mouth opens and shuts a few times as his brain desperately tries to grasp words, but he’s unable to. Instead, he leans forward to kiss you, a soft moan slipping from your lips as he does. The kiss is unhurried, soft, and perfect, but you’re pulled out of the kiss when you feel something sticky and wet smeared on your arm.

“Oh, what’s that?! Did you get ahold of one of the strawberries?” you ask as you look down at Rebecca, who’s squeezed one of the juicy fruits before smearing it onto your arm. A deep laugh emerges from your husband’s chest, and you can’t help but laugh with him. What started as a sweet moment has become a core memory for you and your husband, genuinely making it a day never to forget.

Masterlist -> Bucky Barnes Masterlist

GIF: Source -> All the other graphics are made by @vintagebuckybarnes

[meowzfordayz]

when you grab their chest — akaza, douma, muzan, kyojuro, giyuu, tengen

Author’s Note: pardon the ridiculously long title. 🥴😂 “Fem!Reader” applies to Tengen only.

when you grab their chest — akaza, douma, muzan, kyojuro, giyuu, tengen

Akaza x Reader, Douma x Reader, Muzan x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~900

CW: dark humor, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: I have a request😤 I recently read a certain ass slapping fic which I adored could you do a similar fic with the same characters +giyu and Douma with the reader coming up from behind the and squeezing their man tiddies

~faqs~

I 100% would’ve used MAN TIDDIES in my title, but figured Tumblr would hide this post from tags if I did, so I went w/ “chest” instead 😆

Also, some of these are canon compliant — Muzan, Kyojuro, Giyuu

While others are set in modern au (alternate universe; modern setting) — Akaza, Douma, Tengen

AKAZA

Immediately tenses

#noice 😌😎 after all, the man is ripped

The more Akaza tenses, the more you wanna squish

Except, it’s kinda hard to squish pure, flexed muscle ?? 😔

“Akaza, my love, could you relax?” 🥺

He’s still confused, but my love automatically has him at your beck and call, so-

He relaxes

*gleeful squeal* 😍 *squish squish* 😍

Aaand he’s tensed again

If you actually take the time to explain yourself, then he’ll be absolutely embarrassed flattered

Lowkey decides to do an extra 100 push ups daily, just bc he’s so darn in love w/ you 😭

DOUMA

Douma’s been waiting all his life for you to grab his moobs

So like

He’s one happy camper !!!!! 😌🥳

“all his life” = since he met you

As for “moobs”? I had to, just once 😃

Slowly flexes them so he can hear your amazed gasp 😍

“Are you drooling?” he smirks

“Fuck off,” you scowl

You try to withdraw your hands to wipe away your incriminating drool 😒🤤

But he doesn’t let you 🤪

He squeezes your wrists, grinning widely to himself, “Don’t leave me.” 😇

“But I’m done,” you grumble, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades (you’ve already accepted your fate 🤠)

“I’m not,” he retorts, “Not even close.” 🤗

Translation? Douma wants you to massage his pectorals

#pretty pls and ty

MUZAN

Once again, I’m presuming you’re a demon, and Muzan’s immediate reaction is to slice off your hands 💀

Thank gosh for regeneration! 😮‍💨

You’ve gotta quit surprising him 🤪

I mean

Yeah

He enjoys when you touch him 😅

BUT, he has a reputation to uphold, and being startled by your random displays of physical attention doesn’t exactly help 🙃

The implication that he lets his guard down w/ you (bc how else could you ever hope to genuinely startle him?) is making me feel things 😭

“Do that again, and I won’t be so forgiving.”

The faint dip between his brows has you thinking otherwise 🤭

“What if I ask first?” 😉

You’re treading on thin ice 😬

His eyes flash, “Pardon?”

Good thing he’s close to cracking too 😌

“If I ask to touch you?”

I’ll kill you “You wouldn’t.”

WeLp

He didn’t say No 🤗

(obvi consent’s a must, but in this specific context mutual flirtation’s strongly implied and also it’s literally Muzan)

“Oh!” <— Kyojuro exclaims, cheerful as ever ☺️

“Hello there,” he chuckles, smiling at the feeling of your body pressed against his back, “Are you checking something?”

“Mhm,” you grin, “They’re still here!” 😇

“My pectorals?” his head tilts, “Of course they are?!”

He’s ~a little oblivious, okay? 😃

“How about you hug me from the front?” he suggests gently, “That way I get to hug you too!”

😭😭😭

He’s so precious

How could you refuse?????

Spoiler alert: you can’t

GIVE THE MAN HIS HUG 🥺❤️‍🔥

Spoiler alert: you give Kyojuro his hug, and it is very cozy 🥰

A tad sweaty + suffocating, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world 🥺

Shocked 😵‍💫

Giyuu’s inner monologue: ????? What? Is? This?

Giyuu’s outer dialogue: *still as stone*

“Giyuu?” you immediately remove your hands, scurrying to his front side, head tilted w/ concern, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfort-” 😕

“You didn’t,” he interrupts quietly, finally grasping his bearings, “It was…” aaand now he’s blushing, “... nice.” 🥺☺️

Your nose scrunches, relief relaxing your shoulders as you nod sheepishly, “I’m glad I didn’t freak you out too much.”

“Mhm,” he smiles reassuringly, “You freaked me out,” gently guiding your palms back to his chest, “But not too much,” winking shyly at you, “The perfect amount, in fact.”

HELP !!!!! CAN YOU JUST CAN I  FWIBEIUVLNSOUEJGBWO;GNS

Suave, sexy, knows-what-he-wants, isn’t-afraid-to-tell-you, will-even-go-after-it-himself Giyuu has entered the chat

AnD I AM HERE FOR IT 😭😭😭💘

LOUD LAUGHTER

You can feel it through his tiddies 😆

“Envious, my dear?” 😉

Okay

Presumptuous much? 😒

But alllso 🙄

“If you could share…” you pout, “Gimme just a lil?” 🤗

“You’re welcome to work out with me,” he chuckles fondly, flexing for you, “These could totally be yours!”

You sigh, “Tengen, pectorals and breasts aren’t the same thing.”

“I know that,” he shrugs, patting your knuckles reassuringly, “Your breasts are perfect, and I’m happy to coach you and your pectorals if you so desire.”

You decide to test the waters 🌊

“What if my pectorals get bigger than yours?” 😏

Tengen immediately drowns you 🌊💀

“Not a chance.” 😐

And then he tacks on, a tad nicer, “But you could certainly get very big pectorals.” ☺️

“Just not bigger than yours,” you grin 😏

He nods grimly, “My ego would pop.” 😔

“And that would be tragic.” ☹️

“Indeed,” he squeezes your hands (which remain splayed across his chest), still basking in your touch, “I appreciate your understanding.” 😖🥰

(fyi, if your pectorals did get bigger than Tengen’s, then he’d: survive, be super proud of you, and beg to know your workout regimen)

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

Hello! I have a request. Can I have some head canons about how La Squadra would react if you were disrespected by someone? Let’s say their s/o (preferably female) works at a cafe or restaurant and a rude customer throws the money at her, completely expecting her to pick up the bill from the floor (yes, that is a real experience I’ve had, unfortunately).

How would they react? What would they do afterwards or say?

Would really, REALLY appreciate it. Honestly, I wish someone had stood up for me back then.

Author’s note: Hey hey~

Thanks for the request~

Sorry no one stood up for you, what happened to human decency?

And I can totally relate, the entitlement of people is insane. Two days in to my very first job as a cashier I had a customer say some really atrociously awful things to me and I just took it because I didn’t know what else to do and afterwards my managers told me I should’ve called them wow. Like my manager literally wouldn’t repeat what the customer had said because it was so abhorrently inappropriate and disgusting.

So yeah. Respect employees, we’re all human beings here it’s literally so easy to Not be insanely rude.

Interestingly enough I actually had some thoughts on this written in my personal La Squadra notes, particularly in regard to Prosciutto since he gives me lots of thoughts about stuff similar to that, cool that I get to address that heh.

-La Squadra x female reader: When someone disrespects you

Content, PLZ READ: female reader who works as a waitress, discussion of unhealthy and toxic masculinity paired with sexism (Prosciutto), La Squadra is a group of (mostly) pretty aggressive men who act on that feeling so. Some canon compliant aggression, threats, violence and blood. They’re a group of assassins so Lots of Bad men doing bad things. Melone’s slightly perverse tendencies

Various scenarios involving rude customers, including the example in the ask.

Established relationship: dating/married depending on the character

Ok while writing this it’s finally really hitting me how bizarre it’d be to be a non stand user witnessing or experiencing a stand attack-

Reader is aware of stands and that her La Squadra man is a member of the Mafia

And attempts at Italian hopefully it’s correct but if not please lemme know!

Micro fics style

-Formaggio: Out of all the members of La Squadra he’s noticeably much more chill and relaxed than the others. But he’s still a proud member of the Italian Mafia. And you’re his girl. He’s no knight in shining armor or Prince Charming for you, he won’t intervene when there’s an occasional irritable customer giving you a bit of a hard time. He knows you can take care of yourself.

However, if some entitled customer has the audacity to go too far and say or do something Really disrespectful while he’s around, I think he has a preference for good old-fashioned humiliation, and only results to intimidation if they decide they wanna keep making a fool of themselves.

He plays it up like: “ooh, hey, if you wanted that pretty lady’s attention there are much better ways to get it, buddy.”

You don’t have to add anything. You resume work quietly, but keep your eyes and ears focused on him, in case he decided to get carried away.

After a little bit of back and forth with him using his usual coolness and charisma, the offender gets increasingly frustrated and flustered.

When your boyfriend’s finally had enough of this stupid game he stands up from his table. His playfully mocking expression remains, but his smirk shifts ever so slightly into something more sinister. “If you want we could just take this outside,” he says it so casually, with the tone of a man who wasn’t going to hold back if it actually did escalate into a fight. He was not bluffing at all either.

At full height and with the clear confidence that he was absolutely gonna win the fight, the rude customer wisely decides Formaggio was Not someone he wanted to mess with and awkwardly leaves the restaurant, Formaggio loudly exclaiming taunts as the guy skittered away with his tail between his legs.

He seems awfully pleased with himself after “defending your honor” like that. You let him enjoy that feeling, because honestly that was pretty well done and it didn’t get too ugly. He has some nerve expecting a bunch of praise from you for that though.

-Illuso: Someone saying or doing something rude to you is like insulting him as well. And his stand is uniquely qualified for an entertaining punishment against some arrogant idiot giving you a difficult time.

Illuso doesn’t say anything, but when you look over at him while some jerk is screaming his head off at you like it’s your fault his food took five minutes longer than usual to arrive, you see that he’s pretending to fix up his appearance in a fancy compact mirror you had gifted him on your one year anniversary.

You can tell immediately he’s actually angling it at the guy screaming at you so he can activate Man in the Mirror. You inwardly groan because honestly you welcome your husband’s interference, but it will be difficult to explain a man magically disappearing in the middle of a restaurant, especially while he’s causing such a scene with that excessive screeching.

All of a sudden…silence. Such a sudden silence that the sound of Illuso clasping his mirror shut is audible to you from where you’re standing. Of course all the customers were looking at that guy who was freaking out at you. And he literally vanished before their eyes. So you do the only thing you can think of and spread your arms in an exaggerated manner and go: “Ta-DAAAH~” like the supernatural disappearance was just a magic trick.

In a rather weak attempt to sell it, Illuso starts slowly clapping for you and commenting: “molto bene~”. You can’t muster an annoyed glare at him; the slight smile tugging at your lips gave you away. A few customers join him in clapping, a bit confused, but honesty just glad that the yelling has stopped.

Illuso’s version of torment is to leave the guy completely alone in the mirror world. Confusion combined with isolation is a cruel combination, and given his captor was Illuso who was absolutely bound to prolong the punishment because of his sadistic tendencies, you almost feel sorry for the guy.

“Make sure you let him go by this evening,” you remind him before you get back to work.

“Let who go, dearie?” he says, his acting pathetically bad.

Sigh. So he was going to play it that way…

“I’m serious,” you grumble.

“Me too.”

You meet his eyes at that remark, and his smug smirk tells you he wants to see if you’ll keep nagging him about it.

When you don’t indulge him he’ll get bored and let the guy go. Hopefully that brat learned a lesson. And if not, at least he has a story literally no one will believe.

-Prosciutto: Despite not being a very nice man to you, he’s got that ridiculous belief that only he’s allowed to be harsh to you. It’s “tough love” when he’s hyper critical of you or snaps at you for something small, but if anyone else does it to an excessive degree then it’s apparently unacceptable, rude behavior. Really it’s just his pride as a man and unhealthy view of masculinity that causes him to freak out when you’re disrespected. He’s your fiancé…By his logic, you need him to protect you, and it’s his job as a man to do so.

He’s a big hypocrite.

But at least he stands up for you.

You could usually feel Prosciutto watching when a customer started to get a little ornery with you. He wouldn’t always step in, unless something he deemed entirely disrespectful was said or done; he does think dealing with irritable people is okay for you until they get carried away.

It looked like he wasn’t going to intervene this time over the dirtbag being extraordinarily picky and fussy with you, just because he liked bossing essential workers around apparently. Prosciutto was listening, as usual, but didn’t seem too concerned, drinking his coffee disinterestedly. Until the customer decided to toss a crumpled up napkin at you when you turned around.

Ohhh boy, you didn’t even have to LOOK to know the coffee mug getting slammed down on a table was Prosciutto.

You debate what you should do. He strides past you, and you opt to just…hold still and listen for a moment. Pretend you don’t know him, and let him do whatever it is he’s about to do (though you have a pretty good guess what it is).

Despite all the tough talk he was doing before, that customer couldn’t hide the slight panic in his voice at Proscuitto’s sudden approach.

Unlike a lot of Passione members who preferred to hide their affiliation to the mafia, Prosciutto wasn’t nearly as subtle with that tailored suit, open shirt and the demeanor of a man who’s killed before and will kill again.

“Hey who the hell do you think you are?! Stay away from m-” the jerk’s nervous ranting is cut off by Prosciutto dragging him to his feet by the collar of his shirt.

“You dropped something,” Prosciutto says in that certain tone you’ve grown all too familiar with. He uses it often when he’s pissed off or teaching a lesson or both at the same time.

Before the man can even squeak out the beginnings of some sort of excuse or counter he’s gagging, and you turn around to stop Prosciutto from straight up choking the guy by shoving the same napkin he tossed at you down his throat, speaking about how disgustingly disrespectful it was to throw anything at a woman.

“Hey, I think he gets it,” you cut in.

You wonder if he’s actually gonna listen to you this time. For a moment it seems like he might ignore you and continue the lesson. But he decides you may have a point and that he’s not worth the trouble. Though it doesn’t stop him from roughly shoving the guy to the ground when he lets go of his shirt.

“Make sure you add an apology when you pay the check,” he says to the sniveling man on the floor desperately telling himself not to make a run for it like a coward now that Prosciutto’s back was turned.

You don’t know whether to smile or roll your eyes, knowing all your fiancé meant was that he better leave you a generous tip as compensation for such disrespectful behavior.

“Go smoke outside,” is all you say to him when you see Prosciutto reach for the pack of cigarettes in his jacket. He smoked when he was especially irritated; so he went through a lot of cigarettes. He waves his hand dismissively at you, but obeys and goes outside. Though he stays close to the entrance. He’s making it clear he’s not leaving til you’re getting paid well for all that trouble.

The guy ended up practically handing his wallet to you.

Prosciutto internally checks off his: do one good thing for his fiancée today mission.

-Pesci: He’s not the most confrontational of La Squadra, and there’s no love lost between the murderous members of the team beyond a mild respect for each other’s strength (and that’s only sometimes) but he’s more than familiar with how most of the other assassins handle disrespect or things they don’t like in public with violence and aggression (hard glares at Ghiaccio and Prosciutto in particular). And that usually results in them getting asked to leave the premises, how embarrassing-

He doesn’t want to embarrass you either when a particularly volatile customer started screaming at you and freaking out for no valid reason. But he can’t just sit there and let you take that kind of abuse either.

He tries to excuse you from the situation by calling you over to his table like he was a customer and it was something urgent. And well…it might just escalate the irritation of that insufferable jerk screaming at you but…

You go to Pesci anyways, opting to just ignore the jerk, pretending to be busy dealing with some made up issue Pesci was improvising.

To your surprise it actually kinda worked. The guy was steaming for a bit and yelling at you from his table but. You just ignored him. And if anything actually happened Pesci was 100% capable of handling it if he had to. He didn’t usually try to start fights, but if pushed he could absolutely finish them.

“Do you usually get customers like that?” Pesci asks with genuine concern in his voice once the guy finally gets mad enough to leave (without paying but that was a problem for later).

“Well…” more often than someone who doesn’t work in food service would think…

“Sometimes,” you admit vaguely, not wanting to worry him but not wanting to lie either.

He thinks you should find some different job, not that he’s actually in a position to suggest that given he’s literally a La Squadra assassin. And you’ve heard from the few times you’ve met with his coworkers that the money they make in the business of murder is minuscule all things considered. Honestly he should get a new job too. One that didn’t rely on the occasional commission and splitting a check with eight other people.

You both know it’s not that easy to just Find a new job. And he doesn’t think it’s a great idea to suggest you get more involved in Passione for quick but dirty money…sigh…no easy solution…

-Melone: Your boyfriend was the least confrontational man in La Squadra.

Usually you encourage him to not visit you at work…because he always stares at you in such a manner that your coworkers or customers sometimes warn you about a creep in the corner booth who’s been watching you for a while.

As someone who’s used to being yelled at (though only because he’s the one being a FREAK so it doesn’t Really count) he’s sure you can handle the occasional ornery customer who decided to raise their voice at you. He usually intervened only if you directly requested it, because more often than not you got annoyed at him for worming his way into your other problems. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice when he’s typing on his laptop at the restaurant you work at and someone starts destructively causing a scene all because you brought them the wrong brand of soda by accident. It’s been a long day, you’re tired, you’re working the evening shift and the restaurant’s about to close. So you don’t bother to try and appease this guy, you know he’ll just complain and give you a hard time no matter what you do. And he apparently took your: “I’m sorry, let me grab you the right one,” as disingenuous and insulting, because you didn’t call him “Sir”. You really don’t feel like dealing with this, and you’re about to just let it go until he has the audacity to knock the soda off the table and onto the floor, staining the floor and even getting soda all over your shoes.

God…just to humiliate you over something small-you find yourself quietly staring at the floor for a moment, trying to register what you should even do…bend over right now to try to salvage your shoes before the soda dried? You had napkins in your pocket. But then the damn customer won…

And you know Melone was watching everything. He’s so invested that he’s stopped typing.

Melone’s no gentleman, and has no shame, but he can’t just let someone get away completely with disrespecting his girlfriend…especially given he had bought those cute shoes for you!

You can only mumble Melone’s name quietly when he approaches the situation, his demeanor energized despite how late it was. You weren’t gonna deny him stepping in but saying his name was a warning not to be too weird.

He clicks his tongue, making a point to not even look at the jerky customer, like he wasn’t there, and focuses all his attention on you.

“You know those shoes weren’t cheap, tesoro mio,” he chides playfully, immediately plucking off some napkins from the customer’s table and kneeling in front of you so he can wipe your shoes clean himself.

You bite your lip. It might seem gentlemanly to onlookers, but you knew he was also using the opportunity to get close to your legs in public. But he manages to behave himself, even putting a few napkins over the spill on the floor once he’s done with your shoes.

When he finally stands back up, he makes a point of leaning very close with an especially devious look on his face.

“What a shame,” he says in a strangely exaggerated tone. “I think I’ll have to buy you a new pair of shoes…”

You just give him a confused look after reminding him you’re on the clock when he leans in for a kiss.

Then he wanders off. But at least he distracted the customer enough to dampen the worst of the disrespectful behavior.

You finish your shift. Melone was waiting for you outside with his motorcycle, as he’s your ride back to your shared apartment.

He looks especially pleased with himself.

“What’d you do this time?” you sigh and yawn, too tired to feel especially concerned with whatever he might’ve done.

“Your next pair of shoes is going to be Especially nice…I’ll even get you a pretty dress to go with them~” he licks his lips.

Under the dim light of the street lamp, you finally notice the wallet that he’s holding up. It isn’t his.

His little kneeling act by the table with the rude customer apparently had many purposes…your boyfriend really was quite a sly opportunist…

“Melone…” you were gonna chide him gently for taking the guy’s Entire wallet but…it was too late to start arguing with him, given he was your ride home. And you didn’t care too much about it in the first place, especially right now.

-Ghiaccio: Everything ticks him off so when you’re working you don’t mind if he doesn’t bother to stop by and say hi even when he’s in the area. He tends to get worked up about something minuscule even during quick visits. And your restaurant is quite popular with tourists, who he has a borderline obsessive type of hatred for. Yeah. You were okay with him NOT visiting you while you were working because inevitably one day he was gonna cause quite a scene-

You feel a very ironic cold shiver down your spine when you catch sight of a familiar red Mazda Miata going way too fast in the parking lot looking for a space to park.

“Dios mio…I don’t need this today…” you mumble to yourself, not realizing a particularly entitled customer was watching you act distracted for a moment by looking at a car from the window.

When you get to his table, you don’t really know what he’s yapping about when he says waitresses these days are SO ditzy and aren’t properly trained. You’re not listening too hard because you’re watching Ghiaccio walk past the window on his way into the restaurant. He gives you an acknowledging glance when he spots you, and it pisses off the customer even more because now he’s complaining about how completely unprofessional it was that you invited your boyfriend into the restaurant while you were working. You have no idea where this guy is even getting all these assumptions, or what was even so terribly wrong with the scenario he’s making up, so you don’t pay it much attention and just brush it off as the customer’s eccentric personality trait.

Until he says that if you were going to be disrespectful by inviting your boyfriend to work, you might as well look busy.

What a freaking idiot, waiting for Ghiaccio to walk in to the restaurant before literally throwing the money for his meal at you, completely expecting you to pick up all the bills.

Ghiaccio doesn’t even need to know the context to react (though it’s probably for the best he didn’t hear what started it because it’d just piss him off even more).

“Hey, hey, hey…” Ghiaccio’s voice from the entrance can be heard from half way inside the restaurant. “If you meant to give the money to her, it’d be MUCH more efficient for both of you if you just HANDED it to her, you freaking moron-“

Oh God, here we go…Ghiaccio wasn’t screaming quite at full volume as he speed walked to where you were standing, his hands twitching slightly, either oblivious or simply ignoring all the customers exchanging nervous glances as they watched him. He has to be literally the WORST AND the EASIEST member of his entire team to piss off…and when he got like this he sometimes didn’t even listen to you.

The customer glares at him, and dares to open his mouth to respond, but Ghiaccio’s rant wasn’t over and it just pisses him off even more to see the guy had the audacity to try and interrupt him.

“Ghia, hey-”

Yeah he was definitely not gonna listen to your attempt to calm him down. You wonder if he even heard you because he grabbed the guy by the back of the head while you were talking.

“IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT! I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THROWING MONEY ALL OVER THE GROUND?! YOU JUST GET OFF WATCHING HER WASTE A BUNCH OF TIME PICKING THAT ALL UP?!”

Was he…more pissed about the illogical nature of the behavior or the fact that you were being disrespected…?…It’s kinda hard to tell…this ornery yapper on even more ornery yapper violence was Quite a scene this early in the morning…

“DON’T YOU HAVE A LIFE, IDIOT? OR DID YOU GO OUT JUST TO KILL TIME BY POINTLESSLY INCONVENIENCING A WAITRESS?! YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE BUT SHE’S GOT AN ACTUAL JOB TO DO AND DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY 52 CARD PICKUP WITH ENTITLED JERKS LIKE YOU!”

It doesn’t even cross your mind that most people would be mortified to watch their boyfriend completely lose it like this in public, you’re so used to it at this point; you’re thinking about how it’s a bit hypocritical of him given how you’ve witnessed him Also going off on a poor server for nothing.

“GHIACCIO!” you finally make yourself shout, reaching out and grabbing the wrist of the arm he was using to hold the panicking rude customer by the back of the head.

You know Ghiaccio. He was about to slam that man’s head on the table.

“WHAT?!” he snaps, but when he whips his head, you can tell the raging blizzard of his soul wavered just a bit when he looked at you.

“Don’t…you’ll break the table, they’re flimsy…”

His physical strength always astounded you, given he wasn’t particularly large, and he wasn’t even resisting your hand on his wrist but you could still feel the power in his arm. “You already made your point…” you whisper, worried about getting in trouble for the scene he was causing.

“BUT-“

“Thank you, it’s okay…”

He REALLY has to debate it, but reluctantly releases the man with an irritated huff and an audible growl. Such a lucky guy…you were one of the few people who could get Ghiaccio to think before taking something too far.

“Is your shift almost over?” he asks, clearly still incredibly irritated, tapping his foot rapidly against the ground.

“About fifteen minutes to go.” You glance at the trembling rude customer, gazing wide eyed and flinching every time Ghiaccio moved in any way.

He checks his watch and the customer climbs further into the booth out of fear of the simple gesture, but Ghiaccio is forcing himself not to pay him any mind.

“I’ll wait for you in the car then.”

“Alright.”

As long as he left the restaurant…

Now everyone knew he was definitely with you in some capacity…damn.

He sends a pointed glare to a couple of the customers on the way out. A “gentle reminder” to keep manners in mind.

And when you give the rude customer one last look, you see he’s on the ground picking up the money he had tossed at you.

He’s trembling a bit. Probably from fear of Ghiaccio changing his mind and coming back to actually break his face. But he’s probably a bit cold too, just from coming into physical contact with Ghiaccio could leave anyone with a chill if he partly activated his stand while touching someone.

You really needed to have a chat with him about his temper but as the previously inconsiderate customer blubbers out apologies and begs you to protect him from your scary boyfriend while shoving the money (and a generous tip) directly into your hands you hesitantly decide today is not the day.

-Risotto Nero: He doesn’t go out in public often, but minus the whole “leader of an assassination division in the mafia with a truly frightening appearance” he’s a pretty normal guy. Keeps to himself and stoic, but he can hold a conversation. You’re fine with him not visiting you at work often, you get that he’s super busy, but when he does stop by you’re glad to see him (and he doesn’t cause any scenes. Bonus points for Risotto).

It was a slow morning for you, and he had finished an early morning mission earlier than he had expected. He even checked to make sure the diner you worked at wasn’t busy before he decided to stop in and see you.

Your face lights up when you see him, running over to him and giving him a quick hug, and bringing him a small cup of coffee on the house, allowing yourself a brief moment of respite to speak with your boyfriend. It wasn’t busy yet…there were only two other customers, but it was just your luck that one of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to come over and give you a hard time for taking a moment to spend with Risotto.

“Does your boss pay you to flirt with customers?”

You can’t even believe someone really came over just to say that to you. You weren’t even sitting down to talk to Risotto, and it’s not like you were being loud or obnoxious or anything.

“She’s doing her job,” Risotto points out with that signature stoic nature. The guy seems slightly put off by Risotto’s unique appearance, but was apparently in a bad enough mood to not back down so easily.

“If she was doing her job she’d be bringing me a refill and not wasting her time chatting with a guy she already served,” he points out indignantly. What an insane level of entitlement…Risotto seemed to think the same thing, though he wasn’t a fan of escalating things.

But this guy…he had some audacity talking to you like that.

Risotto puts his hands on the table, and stands up slowly, deliberately, to his full height, tilting his head slightly to better look the smaller man in the eyes.

“She’s just being polite,” Risotto corrects the man. His voice is still calm, but his speaking speed is Slightly slower. Paired with him purposefully emphasizing his full height, the warning that he wasn’t going to stay civil for much longer was clear.

The unwanted visitor inwardly debates for a moment, visibly shaken from Risotto’s intimidation but absolutely too embarrassed to just back off now.

He foolishly decides to keep going.

“She-” he’s cut off by an almost explosive gush of blood coming out of his own nose. You gasp at the suddenness, but instantly realize what’s happening. He slams his hand over his nose, the blood not stopping that easily, almost immediately leaking through his fingers.

“Oh…” Risotto remarks with obviously fake concern, leaning in as if he were examining the “mysterious” nosebleed. “You’d better take care of that before you get blood all over the place…” he states the obvious with complete unconcern.

It was admittedly a bit funny to watch that jerk sprint to the restroom clutching his bloody nose.

There is a minuscule tug to the edges of Risotto’s lips.

“Risotto! Sudden unexplainable nosebleeds aren’t funny at all,” you chide, despite not feeling an ounce of pity. It’s not like Risotto was trying to kill that guy, if he was he would be bleeding out on the ground right now. The goal was just to embarrass him a bit, and he definitely succeeded.

“I think that was just a suitable divine punishment,” Risotto replies with a shrug, as if his stand, Metallica, had nothing to do with it. It’s subtle but…you can tell he’s irritated someone really had that kind of nerve to bother you for no reason. But you won’t let it ruin his whole day, reminding him that you got off work early today and you’ve been really excited to finally have some free time to spend with him.

Author’s closing note: I hope this could bring you some entertainment~it was enjoyable to write and consider how a few of them could use their stands to mess with people but wow I was being sent back to my first job on occasion with some of these customer characters, sheesh-

[islandofsages]

hi can i request the first year gang and Ortho asking m!yuu who can sing and play guitar to sing a song from his world (any song you like or want to write) because they are curious about what songs from yuu's world are like.

characters: first years x male yuu

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, fic + imagines format; mentions of vil and malleus

warnings: none

author's notes: you guys sure like your first years huh?? also i forgot grim technically counts so i wrote him in lol,, plus i just wanted to :D

Another school day, another raucous scene in the cafeteria. You’re used to it at this point obviously. Your friend group is one noisy clique but you wouldn’t have it any other way. That day in particular, you brought your guitar along with you, in case you get bored as the day passes by (which is a likely possibility). It’s currently the topic of your friend’s conversation right now and has been for the past few minutes. You only chew your lunch, pretending to feel indifferent, but you’re amused beyond anything by their debates - and their attempts to get you to play it.

“C’monnnn, don’t be such a spoilsport! You brought it with you, you might as well play it!”

Ace urges, pushy as always. He makes a good point but you still shake your head at him. He pouts at your response.

“For once, I actually agree with him… C’mon, Yuu, pretty please?”

Epel chimes in, weaponizing his looks and the charisma classes Vil’s been pressuring him in. It almost convinces you but you refuse to surrender, just because sparkles twinkled out of someone as they bat their eyelashes cutely. Nuh-uh, no siree.

No, nothing will make you surrender… except if your friends would actually let you finish your damn food. You say this out loud and a silence fills the table for a few moments. They mutter apologies under their breaths as you exhale through your nose, satisfied with their response.

Once you actually finish eating, they almost immediately start to hound you to start playing. And by hounding, it’s mostly them watching you curiously and expectantly. You sigh and finally, pick up your guitar to fulfill your promise. They start to cheer but then with a look from you, they calm back down.

Inhale. Exhale. Your fingers start to waltz on the strings. Your voice reverberates after seconds of instrumental pass.

“We’re no strangers to love… you know the rules, and so do I…”

Ace Trappola

Wow.

He wasn’t really expecting much but you completely blew his mind

He doesn’t say that when you’re done with singing though; he only holds up his fingers, as if to rate it out of ten. You laugh at that

So songs from your world are like that, huh?

They’re not much different from what he can find in Twisted Wonderland but he found himself feeling more affected by the lyrics than he thought

He asks you why you picked such a tender love song to sing to everyone

You chuckle knowingly and tell him that you simply like the song - and there’s nothing else to it.

Deuce Spade

He gives you a standing ovation, big smile and everything

You have to ask him to sit down after it

His comments are simple enough, that he loves your voice and that your playing is really good but it’s enough to paint a light pink on your cheeks

Eyes wide with curiosity, he asks you if a lot of songs from your world are like that

You inform him that no, of course not, when it comes to music, your world’s is just as diverse as Twisted Wonderland’s

Ace teases him for it right after

He then confesses he’ll try to memorize the lyrics of the song so you guys can sing it together - and you raise no objection to it whatsoever.

Jack Howl

Even when you were playing, you could see his ears perking and twitching excitedly; you could only assume his tail was also wagging with much vigor

At the end of your performance, he shoots you an impressed smile and admits that your skills aren’t half-bad

You make a mental note to punt this goddamn tsundere later

You take his comment with grace and his smile grows wider with pride

He then continues by pointing out how cute the lyrics are and you jokingly reply that you forgot he’s somewhat of a romantic at heart. He tries to hide the blush on his cheeks then

Bashfulness aside, he proclaims that one day he wants to sing such lyrics from the bottom of his heart

And so he joins Deuce on in learning the lyrics with you - more for your army, you suppose.

Epel Felmier

He joins in on Deuce with the clapping but at least you don’t have to tell him to sit down

He marvels at your skills and at how manly you are

You sheepishly put your hand behind your head at his comments but you thank him nonetheless

He then adds that the song somewhat reminds him of the country love songs he would hear back in his hometown, though he admits that that may be because of the guitar rather than the song itself

You feel a little silly after hearing the song being compared to a country song but you suppose he has a point

He’d like to see you perform more songs this way - and if you’re willing, he’ll recommend Vil to you so the stories of your talent can be widespread!

You tell him you’ll consider it and hold back your tongue from mentioning the fact that you might go home by then, just so you can savor the possibility of playing the song in front of an audience.

Ortho Shroud

His eyes twinkle with amazement

And if you’re asking, yes, he’s already recorded your performance. Oh, don’t worry, it’s for analysis purposes. Unless…?

Jokes aside, he’ll make sure he tucks that piece of data somewhere safe and confidential - unless you want it to be shared, which he also doesn’t mind doing for you!

You take that into consideration. It’d be iconic but at the cost of your anonymity…

All the while, he questions you what other songs you can share

You almost pick up your guitar again as his eyes seem to plead you to do so

He definitely wants to hear you sing again; maybe pick up a few pointers to sound more human while singing himself too!

Sebek Zigvolt

Is he in tears????

No, you conclude, but it does seem that he’s affected emotionally. You didn’t think you had an inner Malleus in you

He remarks that your skills are above that of the average human (doesn’t matter if you’re actually human or not - you’ll have to bear with him)

You don’t protest and just take the compliment as is

To your relief, he doesn’t go on any Malleus-related tangent after, but maybe you’re the one who’s expecting more “Malleuses” to come out of his mouth

Add him to your gang of wanting to learn the song’s lyrics and you don’t bother guessing his motive

You’re not complaining - four people are enough to shake the world, you think.

Grim

He puffs out his chest with pride as if he’s the one who did the heavy lifting

He goes on to say of course you sound amazing, you’re his hench-human after all!

Then under his breath, you can hear it, his actual praise - your performance is so wonderful, he’s almost jealous

You giggle at it and when he asks, you shrug it off as nothing

You haven’t really showed off your talent to Grim despite living in the same place, you realize

That’s when you vow to him that you’ll give him more personal performances in Ramshackle - together too, if he wants

He agrees to it with a smirk and declares that if anyone’s ears want to be blessed, come on by to Ramshackle; and you have an inkling that he’s not actually talking about himself.

You only now notice how loud you were, considering now the whole cafeteria’s looking at you; some curiously, some irritated. You laugh nervously and apologize as loud as you played, everyone starting to turn back to whatever they were doing before. You even see a few familiar faces but you pay them no further mind. You turn back to your friends as well.

Their expressions seem to beg for more but you shake your head and tell them you’ll save more songs for another day. They seem to be a bit let down but at least it means that you’ll perform more in the future.

Little do they know that’s just one card up your sleeve.

[wangxianficrecs]

two phrases you'll say by hauntedotamatone

two phrases you'll say

by hauntedotamatone (@hauntotamatone)

M, 19k, Wangxian

Part of the MDZS Two Cakes Event 2021

Summary: “Don’t pull that out!” Wen Qing yells, and she is right to do so. Wei Wuxian already has one hand on the shaft sticking out of his abdomen. His eyes are glazed over and his mouth is slack with shock, but he obeys anyway, lifting both of his hands and letting them drop to his sides. All he does is blink a few times. “Ah…, I’ve been stuck before. It’s not even that deep.” “Wei Wuxian!” He takes one step and half of another before his legs simply stop working and fold beneath him. An unexpected attack on the fringes of the Burial Mounds reminds Wen Qing how thin the thread holding their lives together truly is and just how easily it could be snipped. Pushed to the very fringes of the world she once knew and made to rely on someone else, her healer's hands no longer feel so clean. Kay's comments: This story is marked as a canon divergence, but I would even categorize it as a canon compliant story, since it's more slice of life than anything else. Absolutely devastating slice of life, that's for sure, but ultimately not changing how canon plays out. Set during the Burial Mounds Settlement days, Wei Wuxian gets attacked and poisoned and we take a good look at Wen Qing and her relationship with him. There's also some implied Wangxian, but since it's a story from Wen Qing's POV, it's pretty subtle. hauntedotamatone is a favourite author of mine and I love the way he writes the Yiling siblings and the Burial Mounds Settlement Days in particular. It's just really beautiful and hard-hitting writing. Excerpt: Like this. it’s easy to forget that he is little more than a boy, just a year or so older than A-Ning. They call him Laozu, but his face is bare and the only signs of age on him are a few prematurely silver hairs and dark rings beneath his eyes. It is easy to forget that she is not much older. The rest of the afternoon is spent clearing away the rocks and dry brush. Wen Qing uses a knife to cut away the dead vines and old, twisted roots. She isn’t one for treating her tools roughly and it’s not that it doesn’t bother her, but it’s safe to say she won’t be performing so many procedures that she’ll need this particular one. She has others and what’s needed most now is farm work, not surgery. Her little brother heaves rocks out of the way and Wei Wuxian goes between the two of them, lifting things he should probably not be lifting and tilling the soil in small batches to examine it. No further music is needed, but she notices that whenever she picks her head up to keep an eye on the nearby wards, his eyes are already on them, hands still in the dirt. There have been no attempts by any living or hostile beings to cross the barrier, but that does not mean it won’t happen.

pov wen qing, canon compliant, burial mounds settlement days, assassination attempts, hurt/comfort, poisoning, sickfic, major character injury, hurt wei wuxian, surgery, golden core transfer, blood and injury, mild gore, demonic cultivation, minor lan wangji/wei wuxian, pining wei wuxian

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[moonbaby26]

Anyone else get abnormally freaked out about making some canon non-compliant mistake while writing One Piece fan fiction? There’s so many characters, so many details. Literally nearly THIRTY YEARS of content about these psychos out there at present. It’s daunting. 😭

If you don’t know what I mean about this very specific/stupid anxiety, imagine you just got into the fandom yourself. Maybe you’ve seen Law fanart and think he’s neat. You learn his backstory off wiki summaries and reels or whatever and then think he’s tragic. So you fall in love. You decide you’d be safe plopping him into a modern!au while you’re still trying to work through the manga or anime as you can.

You get a cute, fluffy idea of Law trying to propose to reader at a fancy restaurant. Cora is there for support. He’s supposed to film the proposal from another table that he and Doffy are at. Doffy is being a menace, Cora is being a klutz. It’s sitcom level comedy of errors. It’s so fun. BUT you have this whole section in there about how good the bread is at this specific restaurant. They talk about goddamn garlic bread like it was fine art because they’re both super nervous as reader already has an inkling of what is really going on.

But…LAW HATES BREAD. Yes, it’d be hilarious that he spent so much time talking about it anyway because he was that flustered. But you as the author really didn’t know. You didn’t know! Because you have a real life, and a real job, and you didn’t see the memes yet. You didn’t see that scene yet!

Now, does it matter? No, of course it doesn’t! It’s fan fiction. It’s fun and it’s free. But you, as the sensitive author you are will always remember that as the day Law accidentally liked the garlic bread. Because you were still a newcomer to this insane asylum of neurotic pirate lore.

It’s like that. My brain is dumb. Just slap a “may not be canon compliant” warning on everything and call it a day I know.

But I can’t, and it’s always in the back of my mind. Did I just screw up royally? Did I miss that one SBS about character X and how they absolutely wouldn’t ever do what I just said they did?

(P.S. Kuma shouldn’t have been in chapter 1 of my Doflamingo long fic. He didn’t become a warlord until four years after the fic’s current place in the timeline. I’m probably leaving it alone. That fic started as a one shot without a hard place in the timeline. But…I will still be thinking of it. It is now occupying brain space. Wtf. Why!? 🤣)

[dianadragonfly]

So, I was thinking about different fandoms and the fics that I love. What makes a good, satisfying fan fic? I realize it has 100% to do with the canon.

Take BBC Sherlock. I struggle so much with AUs where their beginnings are different. Sherlock is an astronaut, assigned to work with scientist John. (This is an example, not a dig at any specific fic). I can't. I can't. I realize BBC Sherlock is also an AU from Doyle, but BBC Sherlock and John are so fucking tied to "A Study In Pink" and John handing his phone to Sherlock that everything else seems false. Fun premise, but not the Sherlock and John I know.

A satisfying Johnlock fan fic needs to change the ending of the BBC canon. To think of these two men, who love each other so much, just continuing their parallel existences, never becoming anything more than crime-fighting buds, is just. . . it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit the show. It doesn't fit the characters Moffit and Gatiss created, even if they decided to not make it happen (as a special 'fuck you' to their fans). It's heartbreaking.

My favorite fics are fixits -- many of them deal with the aftermath of Euros and Mary, or some do "canon intercepts" and deal with Seasons 3 and 4 differently. Still, anything but John and Sherlock raising Rosie together as partners/lovers/husbands in 221B with Mrs. Hudson downstairs feels like a lie. (Some canon intercepts write out Rosie completely.)

If I had to write sequels to BBC canon, I'd pick "Drawn to Stars" by @totallysilvergirl or "Never Turn Your Back on the Sea” by @discordantwords . There's a thousand other ones, but those ring the most true to me.

"Heartstopper" fics don't have a lot of room to mess with the ending. Anything other than Charlie and Nick happily growing old together is so far out of canon and out of character that it doesn't even seem like it's worth exploring. There are a handful of ones that have one character or the other dying, but mostly, we understand right away that Charlie and Nick are endgame. We are 100% aligned with canon and creator on this.

Anything that isn't true to this ending rings as false as anything that isn't true to Sherlock's beginning. Fun to read, but not our characters.

With Nick and Charlie being so young in canon, their beginnings are so much malleable. Sherlock and John are tied to that lab. Nick and Charlie? not so much. They meet in grammar school. They meet in University. They meet after a hot hookup at a club in their 20s. They meet after broken marriages to Imogen and Ben. They meet during Nick's rugby career or as fellow teachers. They meet at gyms, at animal rescues, at psychiatric hospitals. They are single parents, University professors, rock star drummers, hot shot authors and academics. Their beginning isn't fixed. But the end always is.

I have so many favorites but I just re-read "Lavender Fields" and I think it's a perfect Nick and Charlie meeting up in their 30s fics. There's a ton of University fics too.

I haven't read nearly as many fics from other fandoms, so I don't know their quirks. I'm finding that fandoms that don't have a m/m pairing are hard to find a lot of fics for. (That's a whole 'nother post). But other m/m fandoms seem to have canon-compliant extra scenes. (Wanna see Achilles and Patroclus get freaky in a tent somewhere? Here ya go. That being said, there's one about Achilles waiting for Patroclus in the Underworld that breaks. my. damn. heart.)

Anyways, I need to do a serious look-through of other fandoms to see how this plays out.

I should add the links here to the fics I mention, just because.

[mydearestbeloved]

*Me seeing the idea of a bittersweet ending where reader implied to sacrifice herself and jinwoo ended up with haein instead*

I pretend I do not see /hj

now, I will try not to sound patronizing and I’m def not telling you what to do with your own fic but while I love that you try to stay consistent with the fic theme and how in-character it is for tp!reader to put others’ happiness above her in this hypothetical ending, if you’re gonna make jinwoo end up with haein in this “bittersweet ending”, I feel like you should give jinwooxhaein as much development as jinwooxtp!reader because I can’t bring myself to buy that jinwoo can be with anyone else but tp!reader after reading 20-ish chapters of jinwoo and her bonding with each other and sharing a deep connection unlike with any other characters and I haven’t even mentioned all the sacrifice tp!reader has made for our mc and how intense he reacts to anything that concerns her. It’s just not… believable? At least on Jinwoo’s side. Of course this is probably the case of being canon compliant but it feels like a lazy excuse and canon jinhae is already the definition of lazy writing to me.

All in all, making jinhae a thing in that ending feels really unearned and it makes the supposed “bittersweet ending” feel more bitter to me than sweet bc I believe in earning your own happiness. Obviously this is more of a "me" problem than you but I’m going to try and see what you plan to cook here.

Also did you know that the author originally wanted jinwoo to stay single but changed his mind near the end bc he wanted to attract more readers? It’s a sus information but it does make a lot of sense considering the lack of dynamic and development between jinwoo and haein.

I completely agree with your point—it is the more logical approach, and I have considered giving Jinwoo and Hae-In more moments in the story. However, I’ve been hesitant for a few reasons. First, I’m basing this story primarily on the manhwa, and my knowledge of the webnovel is limited. From what little I know, Jinwoo and Hae-In’s development in the webnovel feels more complete, and I don’t want to take away from what already exists out of respect for the source material. That’s why I’ve avoided webnovel-specific JinHae scenes—I feel like I wouldn’t do them justice because I haven’t read the novel. For the same reason, I’m hesitant to add entirely new JinHae scenes of my own because I’m honestly at a dead end when it comes to creating something that could stand on par with the relationship-building I’ve done for Jinwoo and Trial Player!Reader. Even trying to make it second place feels difficult. I’m still cautious about possibly butchering the story by forcing too much of something that might not fit naturally.

As for the bittersweet ending—it’s still very much an idea, a rough concept. The term bittersweet isn’t set in stone; it’s just something I used to refer to that particular ending idea, a placeholder. I realize now that this term might have caused misunderstandings, and I apologize for that! If we go by my original concept, this ending is indeed more on the bitter side but not entirely a bad ending per se.

So where’s the sweet part? Honestly, thinking about it now, I’m not entirely sure either. 😅 At the time, I envisioned it more as a cliffhanger—something that feels incomplete, where readers are left asking, How did this happen? This doesn’t make sense. That unresolved feeling was the vibe I was aiming for. That’s where the continuation idea comes in: the Guide AU in Solo Leveling: Ragnarok, which, if I ever write it, will bring the story to a sweeter conclusion—not just for the new main leads (Sung Suho and Guide!Reader) but also for the Trial Player AU’s main leads (Sung Jinwoo and Trial Player!Reader).

Even so, I’m fully aware of the challenges with this route too. For one, there’s the issue of Jinwoo and Hae-In’s marriage—how their relationship would be affected by Jinwoo’s bond with Trial Player!Reader. Jinwoo’s character doesn’t fit the mold of someone who would abandon a committed relationship, which would clash with the intense connection he has with Trial Player!Reader. There’s also the matter of Hae-In and Trial Player!Reader’s relationship and how they view each other. And so on. That’s not even touching on the complexities of developing a compelling romance between Sung Suho and Guide!Reader, not to mention how their predecessors’ history will affect them.

There’s so much that could go wrong with this initial direction, which is why I’ve chosen to focus on the current Trial Player AU and let things unfold naturally. Hopefully, as I continue writing, I’ll figure out a clearer path for the future. Maybe I’ll discover a new direction that resolves these issues—or maybe not. That’s why I’m calling this ending idea a rough concept that will remain buried until I feel more prepared to tackle it.

I honestly didn’t expect so many of you to take such a deep interest in the bittersweet ending concept. I’m genuinely flattered by how invested everyone is! Your speculation, honest feedback, and differing opinions mean the world to me. I’m so grateful—thank you so much for engaging with this story so thoughtfully. ❤️

P.S. Wait, really? Are you referring to the webnovel? Are you a webnovel reader, by any chance? It’s totally fine if not, but I’d love to hear more about how Jinhae’s story is portrayed there! If any webnovel readers among Trial Player AU fans don’t mind, feel free to share details about their romance. Not that I dislike reading novels—it’s just that I haven’t had the motivation to read the entire thing, so I tend to look for specific differences between the webnovel and the manhwa (which, let’s face it, are a lot), and that doesn’t make my situation any easier. 😅

[voidcat-senket]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JEDI SURVIVOR!

Please enjoy a collection of Cal Kestis/Bode Akuna fanworks to celebrate! Find the AO3 collection here!

tear down the planet for the hype

FIC AND ART | 4.8k | Teen and Up

“only my friends can call me by it. well, and my masters.” kestis shrugged before stepping back to sit on a stool that seemed randomly in the middle of the room. “but, we are engaged, it would be pretty weird if you were calling me by kestis.” “if it helps, my name is bode,” the jedi shadow said as he stepped forward, holding his hand out for kestis to take if he so inclined. “calling me knight akuna would be too formal for a marriage, whether or not it’s political, and—well who knows, maybe we can become friends?” [jedi shadow bode is given a mission that will end the war—marry sith prince darth kestis. that is, if he survives the first meeting.]

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Order 66 Didn't Happen, Arranged Marriage, Jedi Shadow Bode Akuna, Sith Cal Kestis, First Meetings, Marriage Contracts, Negotiations, Bode Akuna is a Mess, Fluff and Humor, Pre-Relationship, Stewjoni Cal Kestis

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

Paper and Stone

ART AND FIC | 7.4k | Teen and Up | includes Bode/Tayala

Cal goes to Nova Garon to confront Bode, but he finds the man's quarters full of echoes that show him a side of Bode Cal never thought he'd see.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychometry | Force Echo (Star Wars), Cal goes to Nova Garon but finds more than he expects, echoes upon echoes upon echoes, SpyScrapper, if you wanted more of Bode and Tayala's relationship here you go

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE (and a secret bonus here~)

love is death, love is dying; love is steel, a silver lining

FIC | .5k | Teen and Up

Cal is wary of the blaster Bode has given him. Bode teaches him some basic gun safety.

Tags: Guns, Canon Compliant, Sort Of, Maybe - Freeform, You Decide, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Missing Scene, Implied Relationships, Angst

Second Date! An Ode to Visual Novels

VIDEO | 1hr | Teen and Up

Tags: visual novel, time travel fix-it, time loop, simulated dating sim, Bode POV

fire still burns in a vacuum

FIC | 1.6k | Teen and Up

It's been a year and Cal returns to the observatory for the first time. He hadn't expected someone else to do the same.

Tags: Grief/Mourning, Character Study, Relationship Study, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Author Welcomes All Interpretations, This Is a Study On Cal's Grief With a Twist at the End, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Dark Themes

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

Roots in Place of my Heart

8.8k | Mature | includes Bode/Tayala

When Bode saw the date, he had to swallow down a mix of blood and bile. There’s something growing in Bode’s chest, filling out the space that was left vacated when Tayala died and took his heart with her. They say the only cure to grief is life. Or death.

Tags: Hanahaki Disease with my own twist on it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Body Horror, Love Confessions, Pretending you’re fine even though you’re very much not, Grief/Mourning

Lights Glow in your Wake

FIC | 5.4k | Teen and Up

Cal gives Bode a gift for their anniversary. The trouble is- their anniversary isn't for another three weeks, Bode is sure of it.

Tags: Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Planet Tanalorr, POV Bode Akuna, POV Third Person Limited, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Jedi Culture & Customs

Blue Skies Over Bad Lands

FIC | 18.6k | Mature

Bode looks up and Cal’s gaze snags his immediately, drawing him in. The rebel Jedi is a remarkable combination of wariness and vulnerability, like no matter how hard Cal tries to steel himself against the pain, his grief and longing and love are too strong, too pure to be contained. They shine through the cracks like a ray of blazing light. (Or: Bode and Cal fall in love. It complicates things.)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Mild Sexual Content, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Pining, Confessions, Secret Identity Fail, Canon Rewriteish, Cal Kestis is a Force of Nature and Bode couldn't get off this ride even if he wanted to, They're In Love Your Honor

I Don't Wanna Say No to This

FIC | 4.1k | Teen and Up

Bode is not actually looking for Cal Kestis when he trips over him on his way out of the bar. He’s looking for work, actually— he needs to fix up the ancient freighter he’d wound up buying for Kata and himself, that first awful week after finding Tanalorr and feeling it clutching at him in the Force, the planet a near-sentient thing, clawing, greedy… He shakes off the sensation, hopes it’s only a memory, and looks down at Kestis. He’s unconscious, his face a single bruise, and there are four beings surrounding them. None of them look like anyone he’d leave alone in an alley with anyone, even someone who most likely wants him very dead.

Tags: Bittersweet, Angst, Miscommunication, Reunions, Forgiveness, Rescue, Implied/Referenced Slavery, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Bode was not ready to face his past, Cal's not emotionally capable of facing his past, Together they make like one entire functioning person, Past Relationship(s), Established Relationship

FIND THE FULL ART PIECE HERE

a soft place to land

FIC | 3.8k | Mature

A hot day on Koboh leads to a shared shower and a realization - sometimes it's nice to be taken care of.

Tags: Smitten Bode Akuna, Bode Akuna Lives, Hair Washing, Making Out, i still don't know how to tag these things, Fluff and Mush, Near-Human Cal Kestis, Again, sharp teeth sharp teeth sharp teeth, Body Worship, Smitten Cal Kestis, Soft Cal Kestis, POV Bode Akuna, soft intimacy, Light Angst, showering together, Not Canon Compliant, Post-game, We call this "fluid dynamics" with the way Cal and Bode keep switching

[superfallingstars]

Hello, do you have any marauders fic recs? I’m a big marauders fan but I’m so tired of reading fics where they feel completely out of character, and I feel like you might know something I don’t

Aw man I’m the wrong person to ask for this, I don’t really read fics very often lol. I’ll try to enlist the help of some people whose Marauders opinions I trust and who might have better recs than me (tbh I’m also curious to hear), but I’ll share the few that I’ve come across, too. Apologies if you've already read them.

I think my most relevant rec is The Night Will Always Win by betweenfactandbreakfast, which is a canon-compliant Marauders era fic from 1975-1981. Admittedly I haven’t finished it – tbh I liked it so much that I had to stop reading it, which sounds so incredibly dumb now that I wrote it out, but I was legitimately getting pissed off that I had to do things in real life instead of reading it lmao. Time to take a step back...! Either way, I’ve really enjoyed it so far. And I’ve seen @seriousbrat's inbox turn into a battleground of endless Snape vs. Marauders discourse, so I know their feelings on the characters are pretty similar to mine lol (and hiii I know you have been in this fandom for much longer than I have, so maybe you have some good recommendations?). Basically this is a good fic if you want everyone to be a terrible person <3

The other fic I can rec is Have Your Cake and Eat It by cunegonde, aka my favorite fic of all time (that I could scream about literally foreverrrr but I’ll try to reel myself in!). This is a good fic if you want everyone to be a good person. Also this fic has time travel in it, so it’s like, kind of Marauders era, but not quite? Even though it’s kind of cliche, it’s also incredibly earnest and thoughtfully done, and it has interesting (and imo, realistic!) characterizations of each of the Marauders. Tbf I’m definitely biased toward this author’s work because they basically only write Snupin (my personal fave pairing), but reading their stuff is like, genuinely why are you writing Harry Potter fanfiction and not a full-length original novel, because holy fuck I think you could actually pull that off. Like, I loved this fic so much that I (person who doesn't read fanfic) immediately read everything else they wrote and finished it all in two days... Also this fic made me cry for literally an hour straight (probably the strongest emotional reaction I’ve had to any piece of media ever lol) – even though I knew what was coming. It was just that good.

Unfortunately that’s literally all I got lol. I’m going to tag some people who I think have similar takes on the Marauders as I do – @seriousbrat @remus-poopin @big-scary-bird @saintsenara – hiii, add on if you’d like. And anyone else who has recommendations of Marauders fics with good characterization, feel free to chime in!

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 37

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

Welcome to my bi-weekly fic rec list! This is everything I read in the last two weeks. It's... a lot. I did March Fic Madness and also just was generally in a reading mood so there's like 40 fics here. They're in alphabetical order by boy.

All info provided by the author unless it was blank, in which case I filled it in.

Constellations in his eyes

Dave York one shot by @janaispunk

Your fiancé stands you up on your birthday. Dave doesn’t.

infidelity, shitty boyfriend, angst, fluff, kissing, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n

What Love Means

Dave York one shot by @ravensmadreads

Dave has a panic attack and you help him through it

So David is probably ooc (but this version of him is my comfort character sorry), description of a panic attack, mentions of canon violence, and like the barest hint at smut.

The Mess of Us

Dave York one shot by @ravensmadreads

I gave david york my heart and then proceeded to bash it with a sledgehammer - forgive me :p this is the same universe as What Love Means

vague smut, lots of angst (i mean i tried), almost entirely canon compliant, vague-ish attempt at smut, mild cursing, insane use of italics.

The One

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

Bit of emotional torment, drink and drugs references, Dieter POV, happy ending? Always Fleabag coded.

Purple Haze

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

that boy put a spell on you

1960’s London Dieter Bravo AU, heavy on the British slang, explicit alcohol and drug references, reader is a model but no physical descriptions, outfit descriptions, swearing, sort of enemies to lovers if you squint, smut; protected PIV, light bondage, reader is in control and Dieter is a subby puddle, pet names (angel, doll, darling), light dirty talk, playful slaps. Just a note we’re always very Fleabag coded here.

House Arrest

Dieter one shot by @rulexofxnines

Dieter stays over at your place out of desperation. Things get out of hand so you take control of the situation.

forced proximity, only one bed, a goat

The Howler Monkey

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

You got him here, he was safely tucked away upstairs and everything was going, mostly, according to plan. So, who the fuck is screaming?

no smut but some nudity, implied drug use/addiction, little bit silly, mildly angsty, performance anxiety, screaming, Dieter Bravo's soft cock. basically mild hurt/comfort/fluff with my usual bit of silliness.

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter, unbeta-ed because i needed to write something or someone was going to die

Brick House

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter buys a house for you and the baby

mention of past drug use, fertility issues, mention of sperm donation and clinics, false pretenses, Dieter might be a bit obsessed or a lot

Stay sexy and don't get murdered

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Trapped behind a secret wall to hide from a murderer, the close proximity forces you and Dieter to confront feelings you rather bury underneath your case to prove your favorite neighbor didn’t commit suicide.

brief moments of tv-appropiate terror, arguing, mentions of suicide, mentions of death/murder, but more importantly: smut (like half of this is smut), oral (f!receiving), dieter’s bare ass nearly catching on fire, too many feelings for something that started as a crack fic idea

Fare Well

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter has been working so hard. He still has an issue that might be because of his mind. What can he do about it? Do anything else.

unhealthy coping, sexual dysfunction, sex work, teasing, pet names, sexual activity (actual and implied I think? I should know. 🙃)

A poor plan to confess

Dieter one shot by @nerdieforpedro

Dieter is doing his best to stay sober. You have a large part in his plans. They aren’t well thought out.

Dieter being a bit rude, porn use, mention of masturbation, teasing, improper toy use?, very bad communication, some mentions of sexual activities and acts, Nerdie is unsure of what she wrote

Conversation Pit

Dieter one shot @thosewickedlovelies

You’re viewing a mansion with Dieter, and it has a conversation pit. Does he have the discipline to keep his hands to himself?

friends with benefits, SMUT: Dieter’s favorite dom appears 👀 could it be someone we know?; mmf threesome, piv sex, semipublic sex but don’t worry, edging (m receiving), references to sex work

Lush

Din one shot by @the-scandalorian

Mando makes regular visits to the healing baths.

touch-starved Din; reader is blindfolded; smut

Immortal By Design

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

Din Djarin picks up a mysterious job at the Bounty Hunter’s Guild from a high paying client that specifically requested him. Once he tracks down the bounty, he discovers two things— you tracking the bounty for different reasons entirely and a lot more than he bargained for.

reader is able-bodied, canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), no Grogu in this universe, possession, cursed object, dark!Din, monsterfucking (I think), Din has heightened capabilities, dub con/noncon, restraints, reader gets captured, oral sex (M and F receiving), rough oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, mir’sheb = smart ass, character death, no use of y/n

Enchanted to Meet You

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

You’re a senator for the New Republic and tonight you’re forced to attend the New Republic Gala. Senator Xiono won’t leave you alone but that in turn leads you to meet Mando, a security guard at the event. And that leaves you wonderstruck.

Reader is able-bodied, canon divergent, reader has consumed alcohol, creepy guy at the gala, fingering, semi public sex, vaginal sex, pull out method, pet names (cyar’ika, mesh’la), no use of y/n

I don't mind bleeding

Din one shot by @quicksilvermad

You and the Mandalorian have a mutually beneficial relationship—he pays your rent and you feed him when he needs fresh blood.

vampire!Din, blood, PIV sex, biting, sex work, second person POV, AFAB Reader, one instance of "good girl", aftercare

Bound

Din one shot by @frannyzooey

It’s your thighs he’s bound this time — not your hands for a change.

smut, bondage, AU

Hello to the Green

Ezra one shot by @the-blind-assassin-12

Down a ship, a crew, and a working air filter, and suffering from a rapidly worsening infection, Ezra makes one last ditch effort to get home. And he hopes it’s enough.

language, angst, injury and illness, death

Paint With Me

Frankie one shot by @bitchesuntitled

You have a crush on the dad of your daughter’s best friend.

Sexual innuendos and cursing

Right on Cue

Frankie one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

The quiet bartender lends you a hand after you've closed up for the night.

reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed. Oral sex f receiving, protected PIV, that's pretty much it. this is just PWP

Door Number Three

Javi G drabble by @morallyinept

Javi shows you what he keeps behind that mirrored door

Character talk alludes to sexy things.

Dámelo

Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

You want more. Javi wants to give it to you. You just have to give him something first.

mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering, aftercare. reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed.

Dress Up Joel

Joel series @covetyou

when a mysterious stranger breaks into your house, and keeps breaking into your house, he gives you the fright, and the ride, of your life. Welcome to your seasonal encounters with one Mr. Joel Miller.

sex toys, dress up, festive/seasonal shenanigans, no use of Y/N, see individual fics for additional warnings

He Knows

Joel/Tommy one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Joel knows you have a little thing for his younger brother so decides to indulge you for your birthday.

gonna state this very clearly: joel gets cucked by tommy and watches, everyone is consenting and it's discussed beforehand, piv, dirty talk, possessive!joel, daddy kink, size kink, established relationship between joel and reader, jealousy, some brotherly rivalry, facial, mild degradation kink, creampie

Does Your Mother Know

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Joel finds a pretty young thing on the beach to spend some time with on his vacation.

reader is able-bodied, reader wears a bikini & a dress, no outbreak AU, ambiguous beach location, both reader and Joel consume alcohol, age gap (20 years), oral sex (F and M receiving), semi public sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, reader is on birth control, pet names (sweetheart, baby), no use of y/n

Tear You Apart

Joel one shot by @mermaidgirl30

Joel comes for you late at night. He always does. Always stalks, chases, and prowls after you like a starving wolf. And when he catches you, he devours you, feeds on you like the animal he is. Will you run and hide or will you give into the temptation that calls you in the forest?

Dark themes, Little red riding hood references, dark! Joel, Joel is a menace, oral, fingering, choking, unprotected P in V, cream pie, filthy smut, degrading actions, not really violent but lots of dark themes, manipulation, rough sex, dirty talk, Joel calls reader little lamb, possessive Joel, feral! Joel, post outbreak! Joel, controlling Joel, dom! Joel, submissive reader, Joel x fem! reader, Joel is in his late 40’s and reader is in her late 20’s

inhale, exhale

Joel one shot by @sp00kymulderr

This world is not made for intimacy and both of you know it.

Fingering, mentions of sex, smoking (both reader and Joel), canon typical violence mentions, needy!Joel, fear of intimacy. Barely edited as usual.

One Day at a Time

Joel series by @sixhours

Joel becomes a dad. Again

soft!Joel, no really super soft!Joel, Joel is bad at feelings and relationships, Joel is a sap, mostly follows canon, SMUT, gratuitous smut, dubious consent (drunk sex), unplanned pregnancy, fluff, references to past miscarriages, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, age gap (~21 years), childbirth, fluffy baby stuff

mine

Joel one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

You encounter a frightening beast in the forest after getting separated from your group. Instead of killing you, he spares your life - the first of many surprises from this mysterious creature.

it's Joel Miller as a humanoid monster beast creature with a massive cock idk what you want me to say, creative liberties with anatomy and bodily fluids, they're soulmates because I wrote this so of course they are, monster!Joel can talk a little but it wouldn't kill him to watch a few episodes of Reading Rainbow or do some alphabet flash cards tbh, one curious use of an aquifer as a metaphor

Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To

Joel one shot by @freelancearsonist

Joel finds a familiar face while out on a smuggling run.

Rated PG for pure angst, one single kiss, and references to Joel's self-inflicted gun wound/self harm

Ahórcame, Papí

Joel/Frankie/Ezra one shot by @marisferasiop

After he gives a recovering addict a job (and subsequently falls head over heels for him), Joel and Frankie have a sweet, fulfilling relationship as Daddy and little exploring their kinks. Then, they meet Ezra at a leather club, another damaged vet with his own issues and kinks. They take him home, and he never really leaves.

Daddy Kink, Daddy/littles, pup kink, Breathplay (hands on throats), Orgasm Denial, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Control "Training", Light BDSM, Aftercare, Soft Dom Joel, vers Ezra, Bottom Frankie Morales, Oral Sex, Cockwarming, AnalSex, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Breeding Kink, Heat/rut kink, PTSD mention (vets), gags, fingering, choking, cum eating, prostate milking, fucking machine mention, the elusive "sissygasm"

On the Verge of a Usual Mistake

Lucien/Dieter two shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

You've been avoiding your exes Dieter Bravo and Lucien Flores all night at this event, but you're forced to come to terms with how things ended in both relationships when they seek to right their wrongs.

this is truly just porn with minimal plot (I'm so proud of myself lol), Dieter and Lucien are messy exes, threesome activities, Twister but with genitalia, Daddy and Papi kinks

In shades of gray and candlelight

Marcus P one shot by @freelancearsonist

Nothing good starts in a getaway car, but you sure do have fun delaying the inevitable.

artist!reader my beloved (reader is able-bodied, basic female anatomy and feminine pronouns used, reader is described as having hair that is long enough to be put up but otherwise she’s a blank slate), unprotected p in v sex, cum swallowing, creampie, semi-public sex acts, oral (r + m receiving), handjobs, fingering, very light switchy dom/sub dynamics, a couple spanks, pet names (sweetheart, pretty girl, baby, honey), heavy praise kink, light size kink, consent king!marcus, just like the song it does not end happily

headshots

Marcus P series by @secretelephanttattoo

You're a photographer and you get a job working for the FBI, taking corporate headshots. On your first day, you run into a handsome Special Agent. The series follows their relationship.

Fluff. Smut. PIV. Romance. Flirting. So much kissing. Non-stop nuzzling. Tiny bit of angst. Marcus in his plaid shirts. Marcus on a motorbike. Skiing. A cameo. Sex talker Marcus.

The Infinity Cube

Marcus P/Various series by @littlemisspascal

When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

language, fluff, angst

12:32 PM

Marcus M one shot by @dancingtotuyo

Marcus likes to think he's moved on with life.

Grief, loss of a spouse (Wife), fluff

Given a name

Oberyn/Ellaria one shot by @missredherring

"This would be your greatest indulgence?" He asks, the edges of his beautiful mouth curling into a pleased grin. / How like a man to inflate his importance. It’s a pity that he isn’t wrong. / This will be my greatest selfishness.

Angst. Mentions of canon character deaths. Allusions to Greek mythology cos I'm a nerd. Reader chooses a name for herself.

Innocence need not tremble

Pero one shot by @brandyllyn

"I told you I don’t know how to fuck a maiden."

smut. PiV. starts rough. but gets better.

Cherry Wine

Whiskey one shot by @julesonrecord

Your marriage to your high school sweetheart has been hell for a long time, but when Jack discovers your awful secret, it all comes pouring out like a wine stain on the carpet. What do you find in the dregs?

MDNI; DDDNE; hurt people hurting people, domestic violence (verbal, physical, off stage neglect), there's a mention of human urine omg I'm truly horrified that survived the editing process, off stage drug use as a coping mechanism, alcoholism, infidelity, grief due to miscarriage/child loss, oblique suicidal ideations ("you should have killed me"); explicit smut; dirty talk; piv; fingering; possessive!Jack; emotional resolution?

[aldeanotes]

the art of cooking

aemond / modern!reader, 16+, fluff / comedy / mild angst in later plot points. inspiration taken from kdrama mr. queen. reader is very bi and loves girls so much.  

summary: in which you are a famous young chef whose soul was transported into the body of some way too pretty and privileged noble woman. oh, and you’re supposed to marry a prince or whatever. anyway, can you test this to see if it's ready ? 

warnings: reader is batshit wild and doesn't have time for westerosi norms : ). characters will be ooc at times and this story is not entirely canon compliant.

author's notes: sorry for the very long delay !!! i've had so much going on !!!

tag list: @azaleapotterblack, @aurorathi

chapter two: / 5.2k words

Sitting before Otto and Alicent Hightower, you realize, quite bluntly, you don’t want to be here. They’re going to think you’re out of your mind if you speak the truth of the situation – you fell in some water and then woke up here in this place – but it’s the truth nonetheless. Given their hardened expressions (that Otto gives you and Alicent has the mercy to give it to the floor instead of you), you have a feeling they already don’t like the situation as they perceive it.

Which is that the younger prince’s betrothed (you make a face whenever they refer to this relation) has suffered a memory loss and the greatest doctors of this age can’t seem to fix it through traditional means.

Alicent takes in a deep breath, finally breaking her intense eye contact with the floor and running her hands briefly across her face in slight distress. Though, you have a feeling she’s a little bit of a mess inside. You shift uncomfortably in the seat at the Small Council. Jaquetta’s comforting presence is behind you. Unfortunately, the other presence in the room causes you to pretend to be deeply interested in the space between Alicent’s eyebrows.

Prince Aemond sits across from you, next to Otto. If he’s looking at you, you don’t know. You don’t care. He’s not YOUR betrothed, after all, and you have no joy in getting married to anybody. In your real life in your real body, you never had a good example to follow for a healthy relationship, and this girl’s body and that guy sitting across from you do not contain brains that are smart enough to realize that marriage in your teens is a usually bad idea.

Apparently none of the brains of the others in the room are smart either.

“Your uncle and sister are on their way. I have already written to them informing them of the situation,” Alicent breaks the tense silence, looking right at you.

Your eyes meet hers, and you can see a certain kind of tiredness in them. You feel inclined to just nod, so you do. You hope these people will be normal, at least.

“Regarding the marriage–” Otto’s voice pierces straight to the point. He has this way of speaking that makes you feel like he teeters around certain topics like a fighter circling his opponent. “It would be best if we–”

You raise your hand suddenly. Your eyes stare right at the table’s surface. You don’t want to know what everyone else looks like at your actions. You open your mouth and let out a dumb sound – “Um.” There’s a small pause. “Question.” You smack your lips as you gather up all your courage to make your inquiry. “Can we just, you know, not have it?”

Jaquetta grips your shoulder tightly and you know you’ve messed up.

“That is not an option,” Alicent says.

Her tone is sharp enough to cause you to flinch and hesitantly look up at her. Your eyes meet her brown ones. You feel a weight on you. You’ve come to realize in the brief moments you’ve looked at her that Alicent comes through in the eyes. Even as they capture you in their vision, you can’t look away.

It all feels much like how things used to be with your mother.

Alicent must sense the way you retreat into yourself because she swallows before continuing on in a gentler voice.

“It is for the good of the realm.”

But you don’t care about that. Jacquetta has tried telling you of things here and there, but, for the love of the creator, you have no investment in the happenings of this world the same way these people do. You’re a foreign entity trapped here, treated with a different level of scrutiny and pushed down by traditions that have been relatively abandoned in your own world. It feels unfair. You want to scream at these people.

“But I’m not well,” you say. It’s the only real protest you have.

Alicent purses her lips and glances down at her intertwined hands on the table. Her father beats her to it.

“To speak plainly of it,” he starts, and you already can tell from his tone that you’d been doomed to this fate before you even knew it. “This marriage contract has already been approved by the royal household and your house. The wedding is to be held in three months’ time –”

You put your face in your hands.

(“Oh, my fucking god,” you whisper into your flesh. Otto ignores you.)

“Given the time frame, we will not be able to cancel the wedding nor is it in the interest of the realm to do so.”

A wave of nausea hits you, and you distinctly feel like throwing up.

“Your uncle and sister have been informed of the situation and will be arriving within the month,” Otto says. He speaks like everything is final, and as you feel the walls close in around you, you realize it is. “We will have to make use of these three months to be sure you are presentable in time for the wedding.”

Something like dread settles in your stomach. Forget the uncle and sister. Your more immediate worry is about how they plan on making you ‘presentable’ at a wedding you don’t want to a person you don’t know.

Your voice is small when you speak again. “And you’re going to do that – how ?”

“We will arrange some tutors and a septa to be at your side at all times,” Alicent chimes in.

‘At all times’ – you get the impression it’s more to keep an eye on you rather than for your benefit. After not giving yourself nearly enough time to process everything, you lift your head up and glance between Otto and Alicent. You ignore the way Aemond has taken to tapping his finger on the table top.

“So that’s it?” You ask. They say nothing. “Just like that?”

Still nothing.

You look at your last lifeline. Aemond has stopped tapping on the table and is looking back at you when you finally forget the uncomfortable tension between the two of you. You must look pathetic because his lone eye flickers over your face as if he’s taking you in. Even in this situation, he makes your spine go a little cold. It takes some strength not to flinch back from him.

“You–” You take a breath to collect yourself. “You don't really want this either. Right?” You might as well be pleading to him right now with the way your eyes look at him and the way you wave your arm around. “There’s no way you actually agree. I mean – I’m not me anymore.”

He just regards you in brief silence.

“You don’t want to do this!” Your voice raises a bit and Jaquetta stiffens next to you.

“I will perform my duty to the realm,” Aemond answers, keeping your gaze.

You’re floored, a breathy chuckle leaving you at his words. The corners of your mouth twitch up as if he’d told a joke. It was a sick one, if you’d ever heard one. Your arm that you’d been waving around flops helplessly onto your lap as you watch him turn to his mother and grandfather.

“I will wed my betrothed as agreed upon.”

You don’t know if it’s commendable or downright idiotic of him to marry someone who clearly he knows is not normal. Your lips part to make another protest but all that comes out is air. Everyone in this room with any semblance of power greater than your own has shut you down. Your worries are cast aside. They’re like whispers in the wind to these people.

Otto says something before getting up and walking away. You retreat back into your mind as you always do when you’re frightened, when things are beyond your control like this. The screech of chairs don’t awaken you from your state. Your eyes bore into the polished table, and you think you might almost cry but your eyes flutter shut to stop them. How can you even stop this?

Jaquetta kneels down beside you and takes your hand. You feel a little less alone.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The septa, which you realize is something like a nun, assigned to you is boring and overbearing. Septa Lettice is stern, rule-abiding and watches your every move. Even Jaquetta has difficulty adjusting to this new presence in your life, her bright smile appearing a little tight against the septa’s neutral expression. You can’t even so much as go for a stroll without her lingering right on top of you. Her teachings are even worse.

While you’ve been spared from being inflicted any physical punishments, when you raise protests against whatever bullshit she tries shoving down your throat, she’s quick to dole out more readings or lessons to occupy any free time you were waiting for. Though you at least admit that not all these long sermons on the Faith of the Seven are for naught. You find that this world is just as brutal and unfair as the damn Dark Ages in your own world. A discovery which makes you look forward to your time here. Of course.

You whisper your practiced prayers monotonously so she’ll get off your back.

When it’s not with Septa Lettice, Alicent and Otto have been kind enough to assign you other trusted governesses to teach you etiquette, speech and some admittedly more useful knowledge like history and basic finances. The governess presiding over your history and financial lessons finds you more agreeable than Septa Lettice and the other governesses that try to wrangle in your resistant behavior. The first week you attempted to just not show up for the first couple of lessons, and the following week you found that several palace servants had come early in the morning to escort you to your daily lessons. You try for another escape through the window and it takes both Septa Lettice and Jaquetta their entire strength to pull you back inside. Alicent gives you a thorough verbal reprimand that evening, and it’s enough to get you to curb your behavior somewhat.

Jaquetta proves herself to be your greatest asset, though.

“This is your house, my lady,” she says, unfurling a piece of soft, muted purple fabric with your house’s sigil on it.

You flinch a little at the sight of a shrike perched upon a branch with one of its meals skewered on a thorn against the backdrop of a castle.

“Kind of gruesome,” you reply, looking down at your botched attempt at sewing a flower for your embroidery lesson. It looks like a distorted mess, like a plate of spaghetti that’s been dropped on the ground.

Jaquetta smiles widely. “The shrike with its prey has been your house’s sigil since its founding. Your ancestors used the bird’s way of killing its victims to build Shrikesdrop to defend against enemies.”

Shrikesdrop – the ancestral seat of House Durant. It’s perched miles high above the water’s surface, impossible to invade by a beach landing and nearly impenetrable by any army thanks to the steep incline of the roads that lead up to it. According to Jaquetta and a couple notes you found in a book here and there, Shrikesdrop has spikes that resemble thorn covered branches that can impale thousands of men who are unfortunate enough to fall off the inclines. Your house has perfected many tricks to get people to fall off of it, and death by impalement is apparently the go-to execution method of your house. You suddenly didn’t want to meet your uncle and sister after hearing that.

“‘As Sharp as Thorns’,” you mumble your house words. It’s dumb, but you guess it’s the best your ancestors could do.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t mean to stumble across Aemond again. It just happens. Like so much in your two lives.

While you don’t exactly allow yourself to get extinguished fully, you at least understand that your ability to get some manner of freedom rests on some compromise on your part. And, well, you’re pretty smart. Smart enough to remember your lessons, to execute the right angle when you greet your governesses, to hold your head high like you’ve always had blue blood in your veins. That was all you had to pay in exchange for some free time.

It’s the sound of steel clashing that causes you to hurry to the platform overlooking the training grounds, eager for some action to rid you of your boredom.

Your opinion of your betrothed is tainted, of course, because of your judgments. It’s also a little difficult to find yourself liking someone you’re forcefully bound to at this point. However, you can’t deny it. The silver locks that fly about like feathers belonging to a bird of prey are what catch your eye first. You can spot them as he dances about the ground, the dirt crunching underneath his boots.

You can’t see his lone eye, but you feel that if you were close enough they’d have that unsettling intensity you’d seen before – honed in on something. His body is both strong yet nimble as he readies himself. His hand grasps the sword as if it were part of his body.

He’s a fighter.

Fire and Blood – Jaquetta taught you the Targaryen words before those of your own house. The blood of the dragon.

You’d heard the screeching of the dragons sometimes, but you’d never been allowed to rush to see them. Somewhere between your acceptance of your fate and your need to cling on to what you know, you think you’d prefer not to see one. Aemond’s dragon, Vhagar, is the largest in the world, or so you’ve been told.

“Shit,” you hiss underneath your breath when you see Aemond’s opponent take such a fierce swing at him.

Your fingers grip the edge of the platform. The hard surface superficially scratches the skin of your palm. It’s a reflexive reaction, but unnecessary. Aemond blocks it gracefully and disengages cleanly. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Fear not, my lady,” Septa Lettice says. “Ser Criston Cole will not harm the prince.”

Criston Cole, the most trusted sworn sword of Queen Alicent and member of the king’s guard. The best knight in all of the land. Apparently. The royal family sure does have access to some of the best things and people in this land.

Criston circles Aemond after engaging once again, facing towards you as you watch from the platform. Watching training interests you in ways that lessons do not. Perhaps it is the deadliness of it or perhaps it is because even you understand that observing two skilled warriors in a small battle is a luxury few can see. Dark eyes flicker up to you and you stiffen, realizing that Criston is looking right at you.

He says something you can’t make out to Aemond. As soon as you see the back of Aemond’s head begin to move, you run off, Jaquetta and Lettice chasing after you behind you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your beloved Septa scolds you all the way back inside and only lowers her voice when you begin to pass through the busy halls of the Red Keep. Her expression of concern for your dress skirt getting dirty mirrors a stressed chicken, noisily frantic. You just sigh as she keeps on talking.

Even when you are given free will to wander about as you please, everything feels rather … boring once the splendor of the place begins to wear off. The architecture and luxury is impressive, of course, but how much gold thread and pointed stars can you bask in before you start to long for home again? The faces that greet you and pass by you don’t interest you. You’re selfish with your time. There’s no use entertaining yourself with people that won’t alleviate your anxiety or boredom.

“My lady, you should have stayed and spoken with Prince Aemond,” Jaquetta says, walking a little ways behind you.

You give a dry chuckle. “I’ve got better things to do than that. I’d rather be bored to death. Or go pray at the Sept all day.”

As if you’d want to spend more time with him than you have. Maybe if you prayed to these Gods enough they’d send you back home, but you find that gods tend not to listen to your pleas.

“Prince Aemond is a good prince,” Jaquetta continues. “He is studious, talented in fighting and dedicated to his studies. You have always enjoyed his company so well–”

Her words stop because she’s run into the back of you. You felt the hit but your eyes were trained on someone. A young lady walks across the hall and she is stunning.

“Whoa,” you breathe out as your eyes remain fixed on her. “Who’s that?”

Her silver hair falls past her shoulders, a lone braid framing the top of her head like a crown. You recognize the shade violet that stains her irises, but they look way better on her. Fuck your betrothed. Who gives a fuck about him when there’s pretty girls instaed?

Jaquetta quirks an eyebrow at you before following your eyes and responding, “That is the Princess Helaena Targaryen. You may not remember her since you lost your memories, but you two have been companions since little and– My lady, where are you going?”

Of course, you pick up your dress skirt from off the floor and make your way over to Helaena. Too high for this society’s standards but perfectly comfortable to you (which is all that matters). Jaquetta and Lettice follow after you with their cheeks flushed.

You execute the encounter as perfectly as you do in your head. Every step has a certain charismatic swagger to it as you approach the princess with a wide smile. Your shoes make soft sounds on the floor. Helaena is momentarily pulled away from her embroidery. You spy a pretty design of an insect crawling out of its pupa.

The both of you seem to just stare at each other for a couple of seconds. You beam down at her while she blinks up at you. Then, without another word, you sit down next to her. This seems to make her jump a little, and you make note of that, sliding away from her to give her some space. It doesn’t dampen your enthusiasm.

“Helaena?” You say her name.

A soft smile tugs on her lips. She says ‘your’ name back to you.

“Uh–” You aren’t quite sure. “I’ve been sick for a little bit after … everything, you know, but I’m all better now. Soooo-”

Some kind of glassy look overtakes her eyes. You feel like your heart slows for a moment. It’s suddenly as if she can see through you, into you – almost like Aemond.

“Coin in the waves; heads to tails; tails to heads.” Her voice is a whisper. “The true reflection is on the water.”

Something magical and hidden is woven in her words. Something makes you feel compelled. By what – you know not.

“…Oh.” I mean – what are you even supposed to say to that? “Okay.”

You two stand there in an awkward silence as you both flicker your eyes to the side. You hear Septa Lettice clear her throat behind you. It’s just like you to be so clumsy in front of a pretty girl like this.

“You want to –” Helaena looks up expectantly at you. “Do some … needlework together?”

She smiles, and you feel your heart leap up into your throat.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helaena’s needlework is beautiful. A lovely image of two flowers sprouting together in full bloom rests gracefully on her cloth. The sound of children babbling a bit and toys clanking against the floor draws your attention away from your messy second attempt at sewing again.

Truthfully, you don’t envy Helaena being a mother already. This body’s original owner and she are the same age. Her children, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, are old enough to at least understand when you say certain words to them. Maelor is still a little young. She must have had them young, and while you know it’s a symptom of Westerosi culture, it makes you feel ill regardless. You wonder if the original Lady Durant would have found this equally as repulsive or if she would have bowed her head in acceptance? You won’t accept it, at least.

The children say ‘your’ name as soon as they see you. It’s not who you really are, but you can’t bear to do anything other than pat their heads and play along with them. You see Helaena in them when they look up at you. They’ll definitely be pretty like their mother when they grow up.

You nearly threw up when Jaquetta had informed you that Helaena’s husband was her own elder brother, Aegon. And then you nearly did it again when she told you that it was traditional for House Targaryen to marry close family relations. Sibling marriages are common, and, quite frankly, whatever magical or bloodline related reasoning they can give is not enough to justify literally any of that.

“Sooo–” Your voice disrupts the peace that’s settled in between you and Helaena. “What’s the … gossip? What’s the – What’s the new thing? Since it’s been a bit since we’ve chatted and all that?”

She gives you a momentary look before she thinks. “You’re going to marry Aemond soon.”

You suppress a groan. “Yeah, I guess you’re … happy about that. Right?”

Helaena smiles softly and you feel your heart flutter a bit. “Marriage isn’t so bad. Aemond won’t ignore you. He’ll be nice to you.”

You frown. “He’s ignoring me right now.”

“Aemond was worried about you,” she says. Your hand stops pulling the needle through the fabric. That’s the second person to tell you he was worried.

Helaena sets aside her needlework to give you her full attention. “He just … Sometimes has trouble conveying how he thinks and feels. You’ve always been very mindful of him, though.”

Yeah, the old owner of this body but not you!

“I guess so,” you say, tossing your own needlework on the cushion next to you. “Can’t say my mind is getting any better lately.”

A noise from the children takes your attention away. They’re giving a plate of biscuits being offered by their servant rather disgusted looks.

“What’s going on?” You ask.

The servant regards you with an apologetic expression. “The prince and princess have been having some difficulty eating their snacks lately.”

“They think it doesn’t taste good,” Helaena explains. “The royal kitchen has tried just about everything to please them, but nothing seems to work.”

You’ve got an idea.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They should have known you were up to something when you were being so … compliant. Way too compliant. You excel in your lessons the following two days and spend some time praying like you’re supposed to before you spend the night scribbling furiously down on some paper. You shoo away Jaquetta whenever she inquires about what you’re doing but you unveil everything one day after your lessons. You snatch the papers and gleefully make your way to the royal kitchen, your two companions in tow.

“My lady, a maiden of noble birth like yourself should not be–” Septa Lettice tries to dissuade you as you enter the kitchen with a bit of misplaced swagger but you promptly cut her off with a yell.

“Bring me your ingredients at once!”

The entire kitchen seems to freeze in space before the attendants scramble about to gather everything you wish. They assemble fruit jam, flour, honey, and anything you ask for. If being a future princess grants you this authority, you might consider being nice to Aemond in the future when you see him.

You give a sweeping gaze over the ingredients, putting your hand on your hips. “That’ll do it.”

“My lady,” Jaquetta says, “What do you plan to do?”

“Don’t worry yourself, Jackie,” you respond, washing your hand in some water and covering your hair with a napkin. “Lettie.” Septa Lettice makes a face. “Let me work my magic.”

Despite their anxious words and the annoying way they hover about you, they soon join the growing crowd of kitchen staff that watch you, entranced by your skills. It should be expected, though. Who can beat you when it comes to cooking? Even baking these jam filled cookies for the twins is a piece of cake. If the royal cooks can’t make anything that pleases them, then you definitely can.

You inspect the heat under the baking oven located some ways away from the kitchen. Your eyes trail along the metal of the oven. It shouldn’t be too time consuming to bake the cookies as long as the heat was regulated. With that over, you crack your knuckles and get to work.

You hold your hand out towards the kitchen staff. “Small knife for designing, please.”

“My lady, that is–”

You narrow your eyes. Soon, a small knife is put in your hand and you get to cutting out insect shapes of the cookie dough you prepared. You make two of each design, putting a dollop of the fruit jam mix in the middle of one cut out dough piece and then putting the other on top of it. You make sure to draw each part of the insects with precision – butterfly wings, caterpillar body, beetle legs. Something for both the children and Helaena to enjoy.

“If these are burnt by even a little bit–” You tell the servant that manages the oven, handing over the tray of cookies. You drag your thumb across your neck. “You’re dead, okay? On the future princess’ order.”

He gulps and scurries off.

You nearly trip over your own feet that afternoon when you hurry up the long staircases and through the many hallways of the Red Keep to Queen Alicent’s room. Helaena takes the children there to visit their grandmother, and you’re determined to be there to have them enjoy the treats you’d made.

“Helaena!” You call out to her in a sing-song voice as the servants open the door for you, Jaquetta following behind you with the food and Septa Lettice right behind her (nearly out of breath).

Several eyes fall on you, but any thoughts of shame are pushed aside immediately when you see him there.

You blink. “What are you doing here?”

Aemond regards you with a quick sweep of his single eye. “I came here to see my niece and nephew.”

“…” You narrow your eyes. “Okay.”

You hear Alicent let out a quick sigh before giving you a tired look that has you shrinking a bit. “I see your lessons have given you no progress.”

You flush. Something about disappointing Alicent makes you embarrassed. “No, no. They’ve been going well. I, uh–”

After clearing your throat, you straighten up as you’d been instructed and take those light steps towards Alicent and Helaena, both of whom are sitting on the couch. You give both of them a little curtsy – light like a cloud, your teachers told you. Alicent’s mouth turns upwards, her eyes are expectant. You want to roll yours. You know what she wants.

You swallow your pride and glide across the room towards Aemond, not meeting his eyes. Stopping in front of him, you give him a quick curtsy before grabbing your plate of sweets for Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. The children look up at you as you kneel down beside them.

“Look what your future auntie made you,” you say, holding out the treats for them.

“You made that?” Helaena says, reaching out a hand and plucking a spider shaped cookie.

“Yep, yep!” You nod. “You can have some too. And Her Majesty.” You don’t even bother to look at Aemond. “And His Highness too. If he wants.”

You hear him get up from his seat, the wood creaking beneath him. His boots echo through the sounds of the children munching happily on the cookies as he comes over. You lift your eyebrows in surprise and stand up. He grabs one of the cookies, a butterfly shaped one, and takes a bite.

“…You cook, my lady?” He asks.

“Huh?” You say without a thought. Oh. Right. Maybe you didn’t think about that.

“The servants told me you were in the kitchens yourself,” Alicent adds, and you can already tell this is going to be a battle with the two of them.

You bite back any mean retort you had prepared. “I … wanted to make something for my future little niece and nephew. And as far as cooking, um … “ You shrug, tripping over your words for a moment. “My illness unlocked a new, creative side to me. Like sunshine after the storm.”

Alicent and Aemond look at you like you’ve lost your mind.

Helaena smiles widely. “That’s wonderful. I look forward to what else you will make.”

You smile back at her, showing teeth. Alicent looks ready to protest but you cut her off.

“I’ll make something for Aemond.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can even stop yourself. You look up at him and into his eye, something burning inside you. That same kind of passion that kept you going throughout your life. “Something you’ve never had before.”

“That…” Alicent trails off.

“I look forward to it,” Aemond says.

You don’t know why, but you feel taken off guard by that.

You don’t know why but you toss and turn at night, thinking of what Aemond would enjoy. Food is the way to someone’s soul. You’re not that interested in getting to know Aemond beyond the superficial, but you figured if there’s anyone you need to NOT hate you … it would be Aemond. You don’t care what Helaena or Jaquetta has to say, that kid looks like he could sink a sword in you without so much as breaking a sweat. Besides, it got you out of having to appeal to Alicent to let you in the kitchens again.

You’re not getting out of this marriage. The thought makes you want to sink into the bed and into the darkness even more. Marriage? In this place? Your husband is going to tell you what to do? Why couldn’t you have been sent into the body of a rich widow? Then you’d at least have some money to throw around with no one to tell you what to do with it.

But what are you to cook him? Aside from what others have said to you, you’ve no idea what he likes, and you’d already promised him something new. You use your brain to go through what you know.

“Fighter,” you mumble. “Diligent … Something filling, but not too heavy.”

Perhaps a broth. A broth that’s full of flavor, savory like a victory. With some kick in it. A robust flavor on the tongue with some spices and herbs.

Your eyes pop open as you sit up.

“…Ramen.”

[spnangelbang]

“doors unlocked and open” - Saturday, July 8  Reschedule date: Monday, July 31!

Author: sidewinder ( @hawkland​​ ) Artist:  fluffsnake ( @fluffsnake​​​ ) Rating: Teen and Up Featured characters: Castiel, Dean, The Empty, Jack, Death Featured relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Length: 9,500 words Tags: The Winchesters 1.13 “Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye”; canon compliant; post-series fixit; Castiel as the Empty; Heaven-fic Warnings: Canonical character death

Summary:  While Jack is now God, revamping Heaven for the human souls under his care, Cas has become the new ruler and embodiment of the Empty. He is content with this fate until Jack brings upsetting news: Dean has passed away unexpectedly.

And Dean is not finding peace, not even in Jack’s improved afterlife. 

Instead, Dean has discovered a way to traverse the Axis Mundi to visit other universes, alternative Earths, and has been meddling in their fates. Dean tells Jack that it’s because he’s looking for his “family,” but Jack feels he’s really just looking for one individual: Castiel.

Castiel must confront Dean and the consequences of his confession, or else Jack may need to take corrective actions. But will their reunion be enough to bring Dean peace? Or is there still some greater destiny the hunter must fulfill, even in death…

Or perhaps, through death itself.

Excerpt:

Once upon a time, there was nothing.

Nothing but Empty.

The Empty liked it that way.

Why and how that all changed was unclear. 

One moment there was nothing, exactly as it should be. 

But in the next, there was God. God and Amara. A two-for-one deal that was anything but a welcome surprise as far as the Empty was concerned.

Maybe God had always been there, but had left the Empty alone. The Empty did not know. The Empty only knew that It didn’t like God being all up in Its business—or simply being around, period.

So the Empty asked God to kindly get the fuck out, and go find his own place to annoyingly be.

(God’s sister could stay, if she wanted. Because she seemed to understand, to appreciate the simple beauty of nothingness. But no, wherever dear brother went, so did sister. That was very irritating.)

Eventually they both departed, and all was quiet again—for a time. A nice and long, long time, during which the Empty slept and enjoyed Its state of near non-existence, of being forgotten. Alone.

Then God unceremoniously dumped the first dead angel upon Its realm, and everything went straight to shit.

[lunarthecorvus]

Grisha!Kaz Brekker Alternate Universe fanfiction recommendations

part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series

-------------------------------✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧----------------------------------

The Etovost Plague by Spikey44

Wordcount: 139k Chapters: 37/37

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Kuwei Yul-Bo

Tags: Grisha Kaz Brekker, Post-Canon, Dead Matthias Helvar, Sorry, Not KoS/RoW canon compliant, Kaz is a Tidemaker. Sort of, some gore, scenes of plague, Don't worry only characters no one cares about die, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm

Author's summary/notes: Twenty-eight months after Kuwei Yul-Bo was shot dead and the plague sirens sounded throughout Ketterdam a new and terrifying sickness sweeps through the Barrel: a plague with a unique connection to Jurda Parem. But this time it’s not the Grisha who need to fear. It’s everyone else. This becomes that, and like no longer calls to like, forcing old crows to wing back to Ketterdam as chaos unlike anything they have seen before erupts through the Barrel, threatening to destroy all of Ketterdam and plunge the world into war. But it's a more personal fear that haunts Inej, Nina, Jesper and Wylan when Dirtyhands goes missing at the start of the plague outbreak. Now the Crows must grapple with the sorrow that Kaz may be dead and the even greater terror that the Etovost scourge has turned the Barrel's resident monster into a living nightmare hell-bent on destroying them all. Post-canon AU where a new Jurda Parem variant transforms normal people into Grisha. Starting with the Barrel Bosses. Uh-oh! My summary/notes: Having Kaz turn into a grisha is such an intruiging concept and I ate it up, at the same time its tragic because of the way being a tidemaker effects him and triggers his trauma. It will get real intense so be prepared. The villain in this fic is so interesting. An unexpected intersting part of this fic was reading the crows be a team without having Kaz as their leader sometimes. I love Inej in this fic so much. BAMF's Inej and Anika. Inej and Kaz have some cute moments. The ending eeee. My quick summary is the barrel goes to shit when a plague enters.

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On Black Feathered Wings by @martinakl13

Wordcount: 139k Chapters: 37/37

[this fic is also a grisha!Inej and grisha!Matthias au]

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jan Van Eck, Alys Van Eck, Pekka Rollins, Jordie Rietveld, Aditi Hilli, Tante Heleen, Councilman Hoede, Imogen, Per Haskell, Doughty, Dregs Ensemble, Dime Lions Ensemble, Kaz Brekker's Father, Original Characters, Inej Ghafa's Mother, Inej Ghafa's Father, Matthias Helvar's Mother (mentioned), Matthias Helvar's Father (mentioned), Matthias Helvar's Sister (mentioned), Anya, Joost Van Poel, Gert Van Verent, Mikka, Kuwei Yul-Bo, Anika, Pim

Tags: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Grisha Kaz Brekker, Grisha Inej Ghafa, Grisha Wylan Van Eck, Jordie Rietveld Lives, Aged-Up Character(s), Forced Prostitution, Human Trafficking, Misogyny, Racism Violence, Sexual Content, The Menagerie, Flashbacks, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Lovers, Lovers To Enemies, unexpected relationships, Angst, POV Alternating, Jurda Parem, First Meetings, Bad Parent Jan Van Eck, Grisha Matthias Helvar, Abuse, Dyslexia, Rape, Humiliation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Beating, Heist, Sexual Tension, Kaz constantly giving Inej flowers, Mutual Pining, Soulmates

Author's summary/notes: Inej Ghafa is a talented acrobat, but only her closest family knows that she uses her special power during her performances. Wylan Van Eck was sent to Ravka to be trained as a Grisha, but when he returns years later, his home is no longer his home. Matthias Helvar has powers he never asked for, and his family wants to keep him safe. What is the best way to hide Grisha in Fjerda? Among the drüskelle. Nina Zenik is a soldier of the First Army, gifted with excellent language skills. Jesper Fahey moves with his mother to Ketterdam after the tragic death of his father and the loss of their farm due to debts. Kaz Brekker has powers that no one has seen before. Or? My summary/notes: This fic is part of a series so there is a part 2 that is being regularly updated. Be prepared for this fic to simultaneously destroy and heal you. I live for the use of flower symbolism, its so adorable. I loved learning about the kind of grisha Kaz is, and reading Inej as a grisha is just so cool I need more grisha!Inej. Matthias being a grisha is so interesting, and reading Nina + Jesper as normal is so fascinating. Aditi is queen and this fic has Pim and Anika, I love those two so much.

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The Bastard's Brother by FlatApple

Wordcount: 214k Chapters: 66/66

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Dregs Ensemble, Jordie Rietveld, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jan Van Eck, Original Background Characters, (they're not important don't worry)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Kaz is a Grisha, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Starvation, Touch-Averse Kaz Brekker, Haphephobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Organized Crime, Whump, Kaz Brekker is Bad at Feelings, POV Kaz Brekker, (mostly), Paranormal, Graphic Description of Corpses, Kaz Brekker is a feral orphan for large portions of this, Corpsewitch Kaz, Warning for strong language, Gang Violence, Heist, Slow Burn, Kaz Brekker-centric, Canon Rewrite, Ghost Jordie Rietveld, Good Sibling Jordie Rietveld, BAMF Kaz Brekker, Pining, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sickfic, Hurt Kaz Brekker, Fever Dreams

Author's summary/notes: Kaz Brekker’s Mother was Ketterdam. His Father was profit. But Kaz Brekker’s Brother? That was Death. Or, the one where Kaz has been a Corpsewitch all along. My summary/notes: Reading Jordie as a ghost was so sad, the author managed to write him so well, this fic answers the question of what would Jordie's reactions be to Kaz's ruthless actions. We get to see young struggling feral kaz (it will break your heart) and we get to see Kaz grow. Every dynamic between the crows is explored and its so interesting to read. This fic part of a series and there is more.

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The Bastard Saint of the Barrel by Spikey44

Wordcount: 152k Chapters: 46/46

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Jesper Fahey, Jordie Rietveld, Pekka Rollins, Wylan Van Eck, Jan Van Eck, Kuwei Yul-Bo

Tags: Grisha Kaz Brekker, Jordie Rietveld Lives, Kaz is Corporalnik this makes everything worse, Kaz is a Dime Lion, Pekka Rollins owns Kaz's indenture, Jordie is Dregs, Kaz has a new alias, A Kaz by any other name is still a bastard, Inej remains awesome in all realities, Jordie makes the deal with Jan Van Eck, Matthias is probably gonna live, Elements of Six of Crows reworked with Living Jordie/Grisha Kaz, Canon Disabled Character, Touch-Averse Kaz Brekker, warning for drug use eg: Jurda Parem and its effects, warning for mild depersonalisation and dissociation in ch 8

Author's summary/notes: In a story of star-crossed brothers, where Kaz's grisha powers save Jordie but don't save him from Pekka Rollins, Kaz becomes the Bastard Saint of the Barrel; Rollins personal Healer and the most feared Grisha to haunt Ketterdam's seedier streets. This upsets Jordie quite a bit. In an attempt to pay off Kaz's indenture, and save his brother from the threat of Jurda Parem, Jordie Rietveld, Dregs Lieutenant and confidence man, makes a deal with Jan Van Eck to perform an impossible heist. Naturally, Kaz, busybody extraordinaire, is not about to let his brother screw up in a foreign land alone. He's going to steal his brother's heist and one Bo Yul-Buyur --or his nearest relative, whatever works best --and save his idiot big brother from a Fjerdan prison. And if this means running out on Rollins -well, thirty thousand Kruge should be more than enough money to pay his way out trouble. Right? My summary/notes:

[islandofsages]

Pomefiore boys with a friend (male reader), how is a hopeless romantic, where they help him (the reader) to win over his crush or comfort him when he is rejected.

characters: the pomefiore boys x male reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, comfort, imagines format

warnings: mentions of beating people up LMAO, some physical contact in epel's

author's notes: ngl i was kinda debating writing this bc i was like hmmmm crush but yknow what? it's not romance with the main cast so i'll let it slide plus im excited to get a request after so long sorry if this isnt as good! pretty rusty from not writing imagines in so long ahaha

Vil Schoenheit

You went to the right person - who else has better rizz charm than Vil Schoenheit himself?

Of course, his first word of advice would be to just be yourself but just in case “yourself” isn’t enough, Vil has extended two generous offers to you: he will personally tutor you on how to steal your crush’s heart and if somehow they still reject you, he’ll have a uh… nice little talk with them. Totally. He has a reputation to hold up you know

Jokes aside, he truly believes you can catch your crush’s attention. He may be a little tough on you at times but he’s only trying to push you in the right direction

“Remember. If they do not give you the time of day, then they are not worth any of your precious time.”

If you get rejected, he’ll admit he feels a bit guilty - mostly disappointed in the crush (unless they have a good reason to reject), but still

Of course you insist that he doesn’t have to be sorry but he takes it upon himself to make up to you somehow

Whatever you need to recover from the rejection, he’ll try his best to fulfill your wishes

He’ll make time in his busy schedule to go out and treat you to something to cheer you up

In all the love in the world, maybe your crush isn’t yours to keep. But at least Vil’s is.

Epel Felmier

He may not have much experience with confessions or being a wingman but he’ll try his best for you!

He might search up how to impress a crush online and have you genuinely try the ideas he found and let’s just say that some of them are… interesting alright

You know he means well so you just follow along. At least the embarrassing times make for good memories to look back on and laugh over

“Maybe this’ll work…? How are we gonna find these though…”

He also offers to beat your crush up if they reject you but you quickly shut him down.

He’s there somewhere, hiding in a nearby bush (or whatever is nearby), when you confess to your crush, face scrunches up as if watching an intense Spelldrive match

If you get rejected, he’ll be a shoulder to cry on. Literally - he’ll sit beside you and offer to let you rest your head on his shoulder if you want

He may end up not saying much but he can listen to you for as long as you need him to

The tears of rejection may be salty, but the memories you made with your friend could sweeten any taste.

Rook Hunt

He’s delighted that you trust him enough to go to him for support

You think that you’d like to be more charming like him, what with his way of speaking and how he carries himself

Tears prick the corner of his eyes already; you have to ask him if he’s alright

“To think you saw me in such a light… it would stir any soul.”

He would even offer to teach you the delicate art of poetry if you so desire to win your crush’s heart through prose

If you get rejected, he’ll empathize with you, wearing a frown that you almost feel worse about than your actual rejection

He’ll let you say whatever you need to say or let out whatever’s weighing on you

When you’re done, he tells you that even such heartbreaking events could bloom into a beautiful flower one day - that you need not be concerned and see it as a learning experience

You laugh; how could you forget? There are many types of people out there. Just like how there could only be one copy of your crush, there could only be one of Rook.

[wangxianficrecs]

Wangji by AbysmalJezebel

Wangji

by AbysmalJezebel

G, 2k, Wangxian

Summary: In the end, he picks the guqin. It is the exact opposite of who Lan Wangji is; it is loud, and it is passionate. The thrum of the strings demand attention and evoke raw feeling. It is everything he has ever wanted to be. And so he named it Wangji. Kay's comments: I love stories that explore how Lan Wangji came to name his story Wangji and this one was perfect, I loved the ideas behind it and Lan Wangji's characterization. There's just a hint of canon divergence in this, could be read a canon compliant as well though! Excerpt: For the next eight years, Wangji becomes his everything. His entire being and essence, his emotions and his face. All of it translates through Wangji. Without his guqin, he becomes cursed again. That faceless, soulless boy that people were unsettled by. And he absolutely hates that. He never wants to be without Wangji again. Unsurprisingly, It is not long before he’s the most talented musician in all of Cloud Recess and, by default, in all of Gusu. Every hour not spent in class or other duties is spent on Wangji. He composes music, he creates renditions of his favorite songs, and he cultivates in a way nobody has ever cultivated with an instrument before. He is happy. He is free. It matters not if he’s drowned in thousands of rules that mean to repress. With Wangji, he needs nothing else. He will follow every rule as perfectly as possible if it means he gets to keep his beloved guqin. And then, a disruption to his tranquil life, Wei Wuxian happens. He is fifteen years old and for the second time Lan Wangji falls in love.

pov lan wangji, canon compliant, canon divergence, pre-relationship, character study, light angst, soft, musician lan wangji, music

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(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)