#this has tickled me since I first read 15

[ettaevie]

Some of the creative choices made by the bsd anime adaptation for the sake of cool visuals end up causing some funny implications

For example:

Light Novel Mori: So I pretended that the old boss needed routine emergency throat surgery in order to open his airway, and then reported that he ultimately succumbed to illness during the procedure.

Anime Mori: Yeah so then I slit the old boss' throat with a KNIFE and let him BLEED OUT in his own bed. The stains from the blood-splatter can still be seen on the wallpaper TO THIS DAY.

Now which version sounds more suspicious to you?

[vivispec]

Hello there! I'm not even sure how to start. So I felt very disappointed by DA:TV, because of various reasons. Not trying to dampen the mood, I am super happy for you if you actually enjoyed the game! If you do not mind, could you list the things you liked/loved about the game? Help me see the "bright side"? Just gush a litte about it, I could use some positive input around my favourite gaming series of all time. :') thank you <3

Absolutely! For me, I think I always figured I was going to like this game, even if it wasn't my fave of all time? Trick Weekes always writes characters/quests that I like, and for me, story/characters come before anything else. I liked Andromeda, flawed as it was. Even if the gameplay was mediocre, I was certain I'd find something I'd like.

But the gameplay wasn't mediocre. It was actually really, really fun. I played Spellblade, and honestly, the gameplay might be a highpoint for me. I don't really like action gameplay, I tolerate it. I loved this, though.

The biggest thing that really sold me is the fact that the big choices in this game are difficult in a way Bioware has been trying to capture since Origins, but I don't think they've ever nailed until now (except maybe in Mass Effect). Even in Origins, when they had big choices like what to do with Connor, or how to deal with the werewolves, there was always a cop out choice. There isn't one in this game, so far as I can see. At the end of EVERY companion quest there was a choice I couldn't choose, something that made me wonder just what would've happened if I'd picked something different, and don't get me started on the endgame. The endgame was brutal :')

I love the characters, too! I do think some of the writing can get a bit campy or be a bit on the nose, I think some subtlety is lacking for certain characters especially in the beginning, but once shit hits the fan just about every companion has their gutwrenching moment. I felt for every single character in this game, during their act 2 personal quest moments. In all the other games there was at least one character I just couldn't care about, but even the ones that I thought wouldn't tickle my fancy snuck up on me. By the end, I loved all of them so much. I only wanted more.

I like Rook, too. I think I can see how their characterization might be disappointing, though. I think the key for me and my friend @sweetmage was finding the right Rook to play. We both had lots of concepts and while I plugged in the right one first, I know they struggled until they found the right one. Rook is kinda like Hawke in the way that they have a bit of personality already and a defined character path, which can get in the way of true RP. Once I stopped fighting it and let Rook be Rook, I liked the game a lot more, and I liked my character a lot more.

Then there's lore. Oh, lore. I have listened to or read every codex. I have a treasure trove of theories I keep locked in my head. All I need is a corkboard and some red string. Getting to see so many of those theories come to fruition? Things they've been teasing since Origins, that I picked up on when I was 12? Absolutely magical! Some of it I think they bungled--there's one reveal I've been waiting for for 15 years that I found in a note, not codex, on a bridge in Minrathous, no fanfare or anything--but the majority of it punched me right in the face with so much force I had to pause the game and do a little pacing. I won't get into specifics for spoiler reasons, but seeing all those little dots connect? seeing when I was right, and when I was wrong? SO euphoric for me!

A lot of the things I didn't like, too, like making the Crows less shitty--so easy to headcanon around, in ways that don't contradict canon! It's one of my favorite things to do, it feels like a puzzle to me, making everything that is for certain and everything I want fit together. That one, for instance, Zevran totally gutted all the shitty Crows, and left only the good ones :)

I will say, it's clear they were trying to wrap things up. I got the sense while playing it felt that they didn't want to leave any loose threads in case this was their last DA game, so that felt a bit rushed. But I loved it. To me it was a love letter, saying goodbye. Wrapping everything up in a nice little bow. I've always struggled to choose a favorite game in the DA series, they all do something I love so differently that I can't pinpoint one singular favorite, and I think this one is right up there for me, tied for 1st place with the other three games. Like DA2 and DAI I think it could've cooked just a little bit longer, there's a lot of potential for it to be a 9/10 game imho if they'd smoothed a couple of things out, but there's a lot in there for me to love.

Thank you so much for the question, I hope the wall of text will help you see a bit of the light haha. I don't mind that people didn't like it--that's just how it goes sometimes, and I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to be had. For me I was just super bummed that it was the only thing I was seeing online. I'm following lots of positivity now, so the occasional disenchantment is not a problem. Idk if it'll work for you, but @sweetmage was similarly disappointed until they streamed it with a friend, and then just having someone there to converse with it on really helped them to enjoy it. I hope you can find something to love in it, too!

[switch-witch-erin]

This post is about the very experience of loving tickling, the feeling of shame for it, the feeling of being somehow abnormal, which as far as I know actually haunts many.

This is gonna be a long read, featuring my journey to finding peace in liking tickles + how I managed to clarify for myself that liking platonic tickling is a thing, and is, in fact, okay. I’ll try to make it as short as I can :,)

❗️All of this is just a reflection of my experience, please be respectful

First of all, I have to say that tickling has always been a main form of showing affection in my family — here

For my parents and siblings, it was of utter importance to never show “weakness” in any way or form, no saying “I love you”, no hugs nor kisses, no words of validation, only stuff like “study hard so you can get a better job in the future”, “don’t forget to wear your scarf, it’s cold outside”, so basically they showed their love through doing anything they could for me to survive and thrive, but without any affection. And since affection wasn’t allowed, my siblings decided to start disguising it by messing with me, like tickling me silly, claiming that they’re just teasing and pestering me, while also making it fun and entertaining. They were gentle and careful, especially considering our big age difference (I’m 25, and my eldest brother is 48), and it made me feel so loved and cherished that I never wanted it to stop. Most tickle fights happened with my sister, seven years older than me, and she’d let me win just to cheer me up, which also gave me an extra boost of joy and love for her.

Therefore, by the time I went to school, I was 100% certain that everyone liked tickling, they just played the game of pretending, while actually having fun. I was called a local tickle monster among my classmates and some of the teachers as I kept tickling my friends all over the school, and I was a very social kid, so it might have been around 30 people on my “wanted” list x) Thinking about it now, I don’t remember a single kid actually getting uncomfortable or disliking the tickling. Maybe that’s because my tickles were gentle and didn’t last long as I was afraid of accidentally hurting peeps and made sure to keep it light. There also was a girl, around 15 years old, who really liked me and treated me like a younger sister because she thought I was a cute kid. She’d hang out with me and some of my classmates during breaks, put me on her lap, tell the stupidest jokes one could possibly come up with, and then tickle me silly, saying “See? I knew it was funny, you’re laughing!”. Unfortunately, I changed schools, and we never saw each other again, but it was fun while it lasted.

When I got older, like 12 or so, I remember there was a girl who kept initiating tickle fights with me on a daily basis, that was so much fun, basically my number 1 reason to go to school at the time x). I was a little overweight and insecure about my appearance, so her willingly touching me (as well as hugging me after the tickling) and saying that my giggles were cute made me feel so much better about myself, no words can possibly describe it. She was definitely a lot rougher than me when it came to tickling, but it was fine, maybe because I wasn’t that ticklish, so it didn’t bother me much. I even remember teachers watching us and smiling. Back then I didn’t feel embarrassed in the slightest, I treated it as any other form of fun activities, like playing hide and seek or drawing. Though it didn’t last long.

Next year, when I was 13, we got a new classmate, she was nice, but her mood kept changing every ten minutes, it was weird, probably a puberty thing, but still. We quickly became friends, and eventually, after about two weeks of getting to know each other, I started tickling her, and she became completely enraged. She yelled at me, slapped my hands away and started a whole ass rant about how people who tickle others are annoying and rude, while threatening to punch me if I tickle her again. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. It’s like my entire world got turned inside out, and I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself that all I could do was apologise and leave. Of course, now, as an adult, I understand that her reaction was way too intense, and I should’ve at least clarified that I didn’t mean to upset her. But back then I got absolutely mortified. As a cherry on top she started avoiding me like I did something terrible, and only in about three weeks she came up to me out of the blue and started a conversation like nothing happened. It felt weird, but I was so glad she seemed to have forgiven me I didn’t bother to ask questions. But that’s when the shame all tickling community knows started forming. “What if other people whom I tickled actually didn’t enjoy it? I haven’t seen someone tickling others as often as I did, what if it’s not okay to act like I do? What if I’m some kind of creep to others? What if I have been a creep this whole time, but no one bothered to tell me? Bad people don’t know or don’t care if they’re bad, they just do whatever they please, just like I did with my friends before. What if I’m actually a bad person? A creep?” Yeah, well, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Among puberty-related things, that made me feel insecure as well and I stopped being as social as I was, I closed off, but the need to have tickles in my life persisted, and I started watching those silly tickling moments from cartoons and anime posted on YouTube. Watching them has always made me smile, and it felt like a void inside me started to fill up. I can only compare the feeling to hugging my boyfriend or receiving support from my friends - that fuzzy feeling that makes life worth living. I remember panicking when these videos started appearing on my feed even after I deleted them from my YouTube history, as it felt like I’m doing something perverted and unnatural. Once, the videos popped up on my main YouTube page while I was watching stuff with my friend, and I was mortified. She didn’t question it, not sure if she even noticed, but I wanted to die right there on the spot. When I was thinking all of it over as a teen, I used to compare myself to creepy fetishists, who pile up various disturbing stuff in their PC folder just to open when no one’s looking. The thought made me cry so many times I can’t even count, as I couldn’t share with anyone about it, and I assured myself that I am a creep, so if I want to stop being one I should get rid of that liking tickling thing and enjoy “normal” stuff. So I deleted all of the saved videos, art and other stuff, unfollowed the creators and went on with my life. It was a difficult decision, but I was determined.

Several months later my classmates (13-15 years old) started a massive tickle fight, among like ten or so people, and it all was happening right in front of me. I was staring at them with googly eyes, sitting there all tensed up and confused like ??? You’re all not supposed to do that??? How dare you??? And it was mostly among boys, so one of them approached me with a big grin on his face, and some sort of Tarantino dialogue happened

— Hey, why aren’t you participating? Are you not ticklish?

— N-No…

And he proceeded to start tickling me, but I didn’t react, either because I was still shocked or because I didn’t want to be a part of it, I’m not sure myself. And when he saw the lack of reaction, I swear to god, he was UPSET. He lowered his head and pouted a little, mumbling something like “damn, okay”. I can’t say for sure whether he was upset because of me (presumably) not being ticklish, or because he wanted to make me react, but something in my head clicked. Like… “oh, you want tickles? I’ll give you tickles!” And I started tickling him back furiously. Nothing painful or uncomfortable, just rather intense as I targeted almost all of his upper body at the same time. The guy’s laughter was silent, and he leaned over, shaking with inaudible giggles, but he didn’t try to get away. Not even once. When I realised what I was doing, I stopped, feeling mortified once again. It felt like I was using him for my “perverted” needs, like I just submerged this boy to something he doesn’t enjoy for my “sick” pleasure. You know that feeling when you’re about to explode with crying, but you hold yourself back as much as you can with what little power you still have? Yeah, that was how I felt. When suddenly he sat up with an even bigger grin on his face than before, looked at me with such a happy, excited expression, and then turned to the others, yelling out “Beware! She’s not ticklish, and she’s a master tickler!” Then he glanced back at me and said “Hey, it’s not fair you’re not ticklish, you’re imbalanced! (Russian slang for someone or something way mightier than their group) Come with us, you’d be an absolute winner!” [Love men’s urge to constantly compete lol]

A school bell, indicating that the next lesson is starting, saved my sorry ass. Imagine how hard it was to concentrate on studying after all of that x)

By the time I came home I was so confused I could barely talk to anyone, completely stuck in my own thoughts. It seemed like they all were enjoying the tickling, and they were participating in it willingly, having fun together. No one minded getting tickled, and even though no one said out loud that they enjoyed it, it was obvious. So my brain gears started rotating. If it’s okay for others to enjoy tickling, why can’t it be okay for me? Yes, maybe I like it more than they do, but what’s so bad about it? Some people like martial arts, some people like drawing, dragons, marine biology, sports, massages, and I like tickling! It’s a special interest, my special interest. I do it because it feels nice, and not only it makes me happy, other people enjoy it too! Not everyone, naturally, just like not everyone likes being touched in general. But to people, who enjoy tickling, it’s a nice way to unwind and have fun. It’s some kind of monkey brain thing like “me make other monkey happy with tickles, other monkey happy = I happy”. Apes together strong x)

And slowly but surely I began my research, checking what it’s like to enjoy tickling, how it works in biology and psychology, why some people like it and some don’t, why some are more ticklish than others and whatnot. It was fascinating. Humans are so fucking weird (affectionately), there’re so many details, nooks and crannies that take part in our existence…

But scientific part aside, I decided to switch on my critical thinking skills as well and actually look at my situation from someone else’s perspective. And eventually came up with a basic scheme. The questions I asked myself were:

1. Do I harm anyone, including myself, by liking/participating in tickling?

2. Does tickling bring me joy?

3. Do I violate people’s boundaries by tickling them?

4. Is it considered inappropriate to enjoy tickling?

As a result, I came up with several conclusions, which can be summed up in one statement

“If tickling is consensual and brings joy to both parties, there shouldn’t be any problems with it”

Maybe you noticed that some people who don’t have tickling as their special interest enjoy it too! It is a form of affection after all, so, since it brings me joy, why should I be embarrassed about it? Don’t get me wrong, even though all of my friends know I like tickling (they saw my art, we’ve talked about it a lot, I share the news of what’s up with the community and many other things), sometimes I get so fucking embarrassed I don’t have words to describe such strong emotions. Fortunately, my friends are good people, they remind me that it’s okay… it doesn’t stop them from poking and teasing me, but can’t say that I mind x) Even people like my brother’s wife know about that special interest of mine, and ALL of them, and I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON think that it’s okay. Some said that it’s even cute. But it still wasn’t enough for me to let go and enjoy myself, so I decided to contact a specialist.

By the time I became an adult I decided to talk about my liking of tickling with my therapist, and mind you this woman was definitely overqualified when it comes to all the stuff I asked her. Looking back at it I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it might have looked to her.

“Hello, my name is Erin, I’m 22, I really like tickles, both tickling and being tickled, is there something wrong with me? 🥺”

I bow to her ability of keeping a poker face. True professional. I don’t want to go into the details, but overall she said that enjoying platonic tickles is actually very common, especially for people on autism spectrum and those with ADHD (aka me). [Not that everyone who likes tickles should immediately get tested] She told me that she had a patient with severe autism, he had trouble talking to people, and he didn’t enjoy being touched. So whenever he wanted to express affection for his family members, he’d gently tickle their side a little and smile at them. Tickling was his love language. And, in case anyone is still wondering about whether tickling can only be a kink, I really doubt that it was anything sexual for him. By the way, you can read a post made by an actual psychologist regarding tickling not necessarily being a kink.

And since tickling has always been the main form of affection I received, it’s only natural that I carried it into adulthood. I’m 25 years old, a whole grown ass woman with a degree, a job, my own apartment and goals to achieve. Why on Earth would I drop enjoying something as lighthearted and fun as tickling because someone considers it weird?

The actually weird thing is telling people what they are, and what they’re supposed or not supposed to enjoy.

If getting tickled silly by my man is what makes me happy, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

Peace out, have fun, and stay true to yourself ✌🏻

Hope my post helps you feel at least a little better 🌸

[thegnomelord]

was thinking about drawing Ifrit from "Hell has a basement floor" and had some headcanons on his appearance.

on one hand i was thinking to make him tall and burly, built big to store all the mana and power he has, make him built like a volcano.

on the other.... what if and hear me out.... Ifrit.... skinny. tall and gangly, long limbs, underfed, outlines of bones poking out from underneath the skin, sunken eyes for that extra unsettling factor. besides magic does have a cost. maybe it's just your body that needs to be exchanged.

now i thought of the second hc because tall and skinny isn't exactly associated with the kind of brute force Ifrit has but he's still strong even if his lifestyle is gonna put him in an early grave. now imagine when he's finally part of tf 141 they notice that he's not very well in the food and weight department for his height and the amount of energy he spends so... they start feeding him (especially Price and Soap because protect and care hoard/pack)......

i've also been getting into the trope where characters gain weight as a sign of health and living a better life. so yeah tell me what you think

and maybe share your hcs on Ifrits appearance because i don't want to butcher your creation on accident

Okay 1: you have no idea how happy it makes me when I hear ppl want to draw fan art of my stuff :DD, internally I'm like that dog video where the dogs happily tapping his paws lol bc he can't contain his excitement lol. And also yeah, I'm a huge sucker for the trope and your little idea with Price amd Soap tickles my brain.

And 2: man you did some mind reading bc your hcs are actually very close to what I've made up for the lore of the whole au. While I want to overall leave Ifrit's body type ambiguous to give readers some space to imagine themselves in Ifrit's place, Ifrit is 100% underweight with more of a volleyball/basketball player type build, as mages focus on stamina and endurance rather than raw strength bc that can be augmented with magic. Also has stretch marks because their weight fluctuates a lot lol

Okay lore spoilers so if y'all want to find out through the story skip this-

Okay so— magic is increadibly taxing on the body, not just by eating away flesh and creating mage marks as a Mage's power grows, but just by simply existing inside the body magic stresses the body. Because fundamentally magic is toxic to humans, and even mages who have the needed adaptations to utilise magic are no better than our ancestors when they were first learning to stand on two legs.

The best metaphor I have for magic is chemo drugs. They're used to kill a cancer but they also damage healthy cells. Magic, similarly, damages the body by existing inside it, but also is used by mages to heal the damage as soon as it happens. This uses a lot of calories and also why mages have really irregular weights, losing 10kg in a week isn't an uncommon thing.

Someone possessing even half of Ifrit's capabilities would need to eat 3x that of a regular human of the same height and weight. Mages are literally Shaggy from Scooby Doo lol. And that's only to get the bare minimum their body needs, caloric need becomes much bigger if they're active like Ifrit is. So you'll find that many mages, but especially military ones, are underweight and need to regularly get Iv fluids and nutrients to help their body recover from using magic. They also need to eat a lot of highly caloric food, which isn't easy when one of the most common side effects of magic use is puking your guts up.

Most military mages don't reach 30. The average life expectancy is around 25, with active duty (i.e. constant missions and daily magic use) mages lasting on average 3-4 years before their body basically breaks down, but they can last longer depending on how conservatively they use magic.

Now, knowing all that, Ifrit has been actively using strong magic on par with military mages since they were 14-15 years old and while they're not the healthiest, they're healthy as a horse when compared to most mages. The reason behind their continued survival — their mage marks.

[averys-nightmare-zone]

since landing is closing down soon, i decided to take a quick break from SUPERSTRUCTURE (although i will be back don't you worry two fans) and made some fashion moodboards for the 14 fears from the magnus archives to accompany this post there will be some notes and insight on each collage under the cut.

the buried: the buried was really underutilized in the podcast imo. some of my favorite episodes revolved around the buried like lost john's cave and we all ignore the pit. i really hope this did it justice since jonny sims did not.

the corruption: oh my god this one was so hard to make. my google search history is full of terms like "bug infested dress", "moldy clothing" and "yucky fashion" the corruption girlies really seemed to like my last post so i felt obligated to get it right. i think i did okay.

the dark: making a black on black collage look decent is really hard 😭 I was originally going to go victorian for this one but ended up doing nu goth instead since I thought victorian fit a lot better with the end.

the desolation: this is one of my favorites. there's somthing so satisfying about combining ashy greys and black with orange it just tickles my brain. other than that, i don't really have any notes

the end: as mentioned earlier, i went with victorian mourning wear for the end. i mean queen victoria herself was in mourning and only wore black for forty years. that era is so synonymous with death it only felt fair to work its customs and fashion into my end board.

the eye: eye avatars are legally required to wear academic fashion. it just comes with the job description. i don't make the rules. have fun being jonathan sims

the flesh: this one really took me down a rabbit hole. first:, i could only find those anti-vegan shirts that your unemployed uncle wears to the family barbecue and then i came across this fashion designer and spent like an hour on her shop trying to figure out how she got her clothes to look like that. after that it took me another two hours to find all of the accessories. pinterest has been both my best friend and worst enemy over the course of this project.

the hunt: i am so sorry the supernatural gas leakage returned to my home when i made this and I age regressed into being 15 again. when i was making this i pictured it more as the trevor and julia flavor of the hunt instead of say, daisy. god breast america.

the lonely: this one was pretty easy to make once i got a handle on the color scheme. the aesthetic of the lonely has always striken me as a romanticization of the melancholy. think wanderer above the sea of fog. So i gave this one all the things i would romantasize about my life at my loneliest, which is why there's a teacup and a heart locket. the book was also a part of that, but it also doubles as a recreation of a leitner by theponderingalpaca on reddit.

the slaughter: yeah yeah i know the slaughter is supposed to be about war as well as murder, but forgive me for not making a fashion collage about military uniforms. that's really boring. i had just watched woodstock '99 before i made this though and decided to go more for that angry punk/metalhead fashion that korn was wearing in that concert. them and limp biskit are the closest we'll ever get to irl grifters bone.

the spiral: i made this moodboard twice. i know its crazy that the fear meant to represent insanity is hard to pin down, but i think i did it better the second time around. the first one read too much as regular kidcore/decora for my taste.

the stranger: i had to do this one last. i could not for the life of me figure out how to make a circus/uncanny fashion board without just doing clown fashion. i'm still not entirely sure how i feel about how it turned out, but at least the masks are cool.

the vast: vast avatars rise up!! this is a mike crew fan blog and i only wanted to base the fashion around him. he's in the top three list of guys i'm autistic about with elliott stardew valley and daniel powell from archive 81.

the web: not much to say here except if you are a web avatar you have to wear a cunty dress. it is simply non negotiable

thank you to @artmadval for giving me the idea to do this with your amazing fashion archives art, along with everyone else who went through all my yapping to get here. love yall!

[sachirobabe]

Chapter 15

Gojo Satoru x reader

Wc: 3643

Curseless au

Summary: Amidst the zombie apocalypse, your courage shines as you not only saves lives but capture the heart of Gojo Satoru. Together with his first-year students, you all embark on a perilous journey, not only for survival but in a quest for a cure that adds a poignant layer to the unfolding romance.

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Taglist: @spindyl

You've never been happier than right now. You spent every waking second with this man, not that that's out of the ordinary, only now is you're sure of his feelings towards you. And it makes it that much better.

Nobody even batted an eye at the enhanced affection, Satoru had been like this since almost the beginning with you. If anything, it took away their suffering from seeing the painfully obvious crush he had on you.

It's been quiet around the base, nothing abnormal has happened, and with each passing day it made you worry just a little more.

But now that another month has passed, you're starting to let your guard down a little and work with Shoko on potential ways to counter the zombie apocalypse.

You wonder what happens if you're able to get a cure, how would humanity come back together? Would you live off the base forever? Was there any plans that you guys didn't know about?

Your mind spirals sometimes, and each time it does, Satoru never fails to comfort you and bring you back to the present. He doesn't want you to stress about the future and the what ifs. He knows you'll all be able to work through it.

Satoru frowns as he sees you in the lab again, it was getting late and he knows you haven't eaten in hours. "I just watered the plants again." He says and his voice startles you a little.

The book you're nose deep in is temporarily forgotten, "Thanks." You smile and stretch in your seat.

"Let's take a break, yeah?" Satoru stands behind your chair and wraps his arms around you from behind. "Even smart pretty girls need to eat."

You smile at his words, "I'm almost finished." You say and resume reading the last couple of pages.

"Microbiology?" Satoru reads the title of the book. "Sounds boring. I think dinner with me would be a lot more interesting." He tries to convince you.

You chuckle, "Depends. Where are we going for dinner?" You play along.

He hums thinking before answering, "I heard that little place down the hall is real good. They're serving soup and crackers, a real fine meal."

Your laugh is everything to him, he loves making you smile. "I think it definitely sounds more fun than my boring old book, huh?"

"Oh, absolutely." He nods, his hair tickling your face. "Cmon, let's go eat."

You sigh, "I guess you're right." You say and stand up from your seat and face him.

He grins and wraps his hands around your waist. "Good." He leans down and is centimeters away from your lips. Before you're able to whine about what he's doing, his lips are already on yours. Softly kissing you.

This is how it's been for a month with him. Shared kisses and heated make outs, but neither of you were able to go further yet. You wanted nothing more than to, though, it just hasn't been very good timing.

Sometimes you'd be on watch, other times it was him, his students also seemed to know the perfect time to bother you guys when things were getting heated. Don't even get him started on Nanami, that man was the biggest cock block of all, Satoru is convinced he has a sixth sense.

He finally pulls away reluctantly, "Let's go eat, sweetheart." He holds your hand as he brings you to the table.

You softly gasp as you see the table, there was some kind of sheet laid over the table. Two candles were lit—where he found them? You have no idea. He made a nice candlelit dinner for the two of you, you think you could cry at the gesture.

"Satoru, this is so cute. Thank you." You giggle happily. "You did this all yourself?"

He nods, "Yeah, for you." He smiles warmly. "You've been working hard all day."

"Why don't I get a special reward for my hard work, too?" Shoko teases as she walks by, seeing the cute table made.

"Go ask Nanami, not me." Satoru glares at her and he turns his attention to you again. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it." You smile widely, "Thank you so much." You wrap your arms around him and give him a nice long hug. Everything was so romantic, he pulled your chair for you, made sure you were comfortable, and he swooned you the rest of the night.

You couldn't help but wonder if the world was different if you would've had the opportunity of meeting him. You're finally relaxing and taking a much needed shower after being cooped up in the lab all day.

Shoko and you have been working hard at making plans, and it's going great, only thing is that you'll need to start applying those plans to learn more. Which means getting blood samples from infected and not infected. You obviously know which one is harder.

You let the water cascade down your body as you get lost in thought about how you're going to do this without costing anyone or injuring somebody. It was going to be extremely risky.

Nanami and Satoru wouldn't be very happy, it was an insane idea, but without it, you and Shoko can't proceed. You think Satoru would be the easier one to convince, but you'd be getting those blood samples no matter what.

"Sweetheart, did you die in there?" Satoru's knock on the door brings you back to reality, you're suddenly aware that the water has turned cold now.

You quickly shut it off and shiver, "No, I'm okay." You say, "Just finished." You step out and dry yourself, putting on your clothes for bed.

"Hurry. I miss you." He says and you already know he's pressed up against the door.

You chuckle lightly and clean up a little before opening the door. He stumbled forward a little, but was able to catch himself this time. "Hi." He smiled widely, but it immediately fades, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You lie and put your towel in the small laundry bin.

Satoru shakes his head, "I can tell you're thinking about something." He says and brings you over to the bed, "Talk to me." His fingers tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear.

You sigh softly, "With all the research Shoko and I are doing, you know what we'll have to do eventually, right?"

He nods, "You're referring to the blood samples, right?"

You can see in his face he already knows what's bothering you about it, "I just don't know how we're going to do it."

"I've talked to Nanami about it already, so if that's what's worrying your pretty little head you can stop now." He softly smiles. "He agrees that we'll need them and we'll get them."

You let out a breath of relief, "That's what I was most worried about."

"We'll get them, sweetheart. I promise." He presses his lips to your forehead in hopes to comfort you.

You nod softly, "Thank you."

"Don't worry, princess." He whispers and lays on the bed, he pats the spot next to him and you cuddle up to him. Your sweet smile made his heart do flips in his chest. "There we go." He hums and wraps his arms around you tightly.

"What even happens after all this?" You say a little helpless. The thought plaguing your mind.

"Hey—hey, we're not doing this. No worrying, okay? We'll figure it out. Just like we always do." Satoru kisses your neck affectionately. You're quiet as you lay there, still thinking. "Look at me, sweetheart."

You gently turn to face him and look into his gorgeous blue eyes. "We will figure it out. I propose you." He holds your chin with his fingers, softly moving them to caress your cheek. "Let's take it one step at a time, yeah?" His eyes frantically search yours for anything sighs of panic.

You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, effectively calming yourself down. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, sweetheart." Satoru shakes his head, "I'll always be here for you. Always." He softly kisses your forehead. "You're not alone in this."

"I know." You nod softly, "I have you and everyone else to rely on." Your small smile creeping onto your face, making Satoru's heart rate go down.

"That's my girl." He grins, "Hi, beautiful." You shyly look away and he forces your head forward to look at him again. "You still wanna talk about how you're feeling?" He asks quietly and brings you into his bare chest, his fingers playing with your hair.

"I just want to lay here with you...and hold you." You voice softly and Satoru's heart swells at you only wanting him.

"Okay." He quietly says. His hands going from your hair, to your arms; drawing small shapes that you recognize as hearts after he draws it for the 10th time, the gesture making you smile. He's been good at getting you to do that.

You feel your eyes grow heavy with sleep, finding it harder and harder to keep them open. His rise and fall of his breathing, along with the combination of his heart beating slowly and his soft humming, it's no surprise when you're out like a light.

"I'm so happy with you." He says quietly, when you don't respond he frowns a little and looks down at you, his frown was replaced with a softer one as he looked down at the sight of you. "Your brain was working overtime." He chuckles lightly and kisses your forehead, he fell asleep not too long after.

The next morning you're eating breakfast with Shoko, leaving Satoru as he was still sleeping. "In these next few days I wanted try and get the blood samples." Shoko says.

You stop eating and slowly nod. "We'll need to make a plan, one with the least amount of damage."

She nods in agreement, "Ideally, we'd need about 20 to 30 samples." Your eyes widen, there was no way you'd be able to manage getting that many in one go.

"That's too big of a risk, I already know Nanami and Satoru will freak." You say, already imagining how that conversation would go.

"But I think as long as we get 5-10, we can manage with small samples and make assumptions, then we can work our way up." Shoko sighs.

"Even 5-10 sounds rough." Your worry is evident in your tone. You watch as Nanami comes down the steps, he can see he's interrupting an important conversation.

"Perfect." Shoko smiles at Nanami and waves for him to sit down with the two of you, "Y/n actually had a question for you."

You look at her in betrayal, she avoids your eyes as Nanami takes a seat. "Everything alright, Y/n?" He asks.

"Uh..yeah! Actually—what Shoko meant, was we have a question." You rephrase and Shoko looks at you in betrayal.

Her eyes silently say, 'If I ask he'll definitely say no.' As she glared at you.

"Are you two..well?" Nanami asks very confused, looking between the two of you.

"No." Shoko says

"Yes." You say at the same time as her.

You both look at each other. Nanami chuckles lightly, "Go ahead. Ask away." The two of you take a deep breath before explaining the situation.

He listens attentively, asking questions and voicing his concerns often to get on the same page. "We need Satoru awake and the others so we can prepare a plan." Nanami says. "I'm sure none of us are excited for this part of the research."

"Yeah." You sigh, "This is definitely the hardest part."

A few hours pass and a plan was devised that would cause the least amount of damage and keep everyone safe. The plan was recited multiple times per day leading up to the actual event.

You grew more nervous each day, hoping that nothing horrible would happen while trying to get these samples.

Some nights you weren't able to sleep properly, waking up in cold sweats from nightmares that felt way too real. You pant heavily as you sit up again, holding your heart and working on trying to calm your heart rate down.

Satoru stirs awake, "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Was it another nightmare?"

You breathe heavily and simply nod, not able to find your voice at the moment. He settles himself behind you, rubbing small circles on your back. "Everything's okay." He repeats, "Breathe with me, baby."

You squeeze your eyes shut, working on calming your anxiety. You breathe along with Satoru, along with listening to his soft reassurances. Slowly, you stopped shaking from fear.

Soft tufts of air hit your neck, cooling you down. Satoru blows lightly on you, knowing you'd be able to focus on the sensation instead of feeding into your anxiety.

A few more minutes go by and you feel your body crash from the intense sensation, your eyes hurt from trying to keep yourself awake.

Satoru silently wraps his arms around you, noticing the subtle changes to your body language. "You're okay." He whispers. "It's just you and I."

"Thank you." You fall back into his chest, your breathing finally going back to normal. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." You quietly say.

Satoru gently shakes his head behind you, "No, sweetheart. Don't say that. You're the bravest girl I know." He kisses your temple, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "You make all of us brave."

"That nightmare was awful." Your voice breaks, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. Please don't cry, it's okay. We're okay." Satoru holds you impossibly closer to his body. He hears your soft cries and forces you to sit facing him so he could see your face.

Tears slowly stream down your face, Satoru's strong arms pulled you closer to him, he rubbed your back slowly, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances in your ear.

He pulls away slowly, wiping your tears. "Please don't cry, you're breaking my heart." His eyes worriedly look into yours. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm all ears, baby."

You shake your head, "It's been the same every night." Satoru's eyes soften at your broken voice, he doesn't think he can handle you being so upset, it's killing him.

"We will all be okay tomorrow." Satoru firmly says, "Nobody will get hurt. I promise."

"But—"

"Nope. Not doing that." Satoru says and holds your face gently, "Breathe with me, sweetheart. Don't think about it anymore." You follow the slow rise and fall of his chest.

After a few deep breaths, you're feeling normal again. Satoru continues to hold you, making sure you're comfortable. "Better now?" He whispers in your ear affectionately.

You nod, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, sweetheart. I'll always be here for you." He says softly, laying the two of you back down on the bed. He looks around the room, trying to find something to distract you with and make you smile.

"Look," He says and your eyes train on his finger, he was pointing to the moon; it was full and shining brightly. "Doesn't the moon look beautiful?"

"Yeah." You smile, "It does." His eyes went from looking at the moon, to being trained onto you. "We should invest in some curtains, it's too bright." You say and turn to face him.

His hand instinctively goes to your hair to play with a strand, he simply nodded his head. You feel your faces get closer, and soon enough his soft lips meet yours in a slow, tender kiss.

He can feel his heart beating quickly against his chest, his feelings growing more and more each day for you. 'This is the best.' He thinks, his lips gently moving against yours, he reluctantly pulls away. If it were up to him, he'd be kissing you every second of the day; he can never get enough.

"Hi." He whispers and smiles.

"Hi." You chuckle and say back, mirroring his smile.

"Think you're up for a few more hours of sleep before our big mission?" He asks quietly, kissing your forehead tenderly and bringing you closer to his chest.

You nod against him, his hand held the back of your head comfortingly.

"I won't fall asleep." He gently says, "I want you to feel safe. I'll be here for you in case anything happens."

"Thank you." You mumble sleepily, not having enough strength to tell him to also get some rest. He'd be having one of the hardest jobs tomorrow.

You softly close your eyes and fall back asleep, this time though, you dream about Satoru. A world without this horrible apocalypse, a normal life. He taught at his school and excitedly came back home to you, doing the most mundane things seemed to be the most exciting with him. Everything with Satoru was exciting.

Satoru gently wakes you up, knowing it was still early, but a job needed to get done. "Sweetheart." He mumbles, kissing your face softly, trying to get you to wake up.

Your eyes flutter open and you quickly shut them, the light being too much. "Is it time?" You ask.

He hums, "It's time, baby. Everything will be okay." Satoru caresses your face.

Your anxiousness had faded for the most part, Satoru did a good job at calming you down. You sit up and stretch and got ready in silence, mostly preparing yourself and running the plan over and over in your head.

Satoru pressed a firm kiss on your forehead and silently left. Knowing you were in the zone and he needed to help Nanami set up the trap for the zombies.

You slipped on your hazmat suit and other protective gear, then walking off to find Shoko, she was also wearing her suit and gear, she gave you a small smile as you both nodded at each other.

"I have all the equipment in here." She held up a bag and handed you a smaller one.

"This is for extracting, right?" You ask and peek inside, she hums, confirming your question.

"The others are ready." She says and pats your shoulder as she walks out. You follow behind her and meet up with the rest of the group, your nerves settled a little more after seeing Satoru.

You frown, noticing Panda and Inumaki aren't present, but before you could ask, Satoru answered. "They're in the control room. We need someone to open and close it."

"And walkie us." Nanami says and zips up his hazmat suit, "Ready?" He asks the group and he gets a series of nods.

There were zombies walking by, some in groups, and some by themselves. There was a small group scavenging, hovered over something dead and eating its flesh.

You hold back a gag and Satoru walkies Panda to open the gate, he grabs the zombies attention, successfully luring one into the field and the gate closes. A heavy net is thrown by Megumi and Itadori, Nobara and Maki hold their guns firmly in case of anything.

The zombie falls down and begins to screech and make all sorts of noises that leave your ears ringing. Nanami and Satoru use heavy chains to bind the zombies limbs and anchor them to fixed points in the ground, ensuring it wouldn't break free or cause any damage.

"All set." Nanami says.

You used a long hand syringe to extract the blood, it quickly fills up and you withdraw the syringe and hand it to Shoko and she places it in a sterile container. You got two more samples off of the one zombie and after you're done, Satoru shoots the zombie.

"We'll take care of the bodies later." Satoru says and once he confirms the zombie is completely dead, he and Nanami undo the bindings.

Shoko labeled the containers and kept them organized, not wanting to mix the samples up. This was repeated with four more zombies, you were able to extract three tubes from each.

As you finished up with the last one, you look to the gate and see that you've all gained some more attention. There was a group of zombies weakly banging on the gate, but every time they did, they got electrocuted.

"I think this one's our last." You say and pull the syringe out.

"Agreed." Satoru says. "We're all done." He walkies Panda and Inumaki. Satoru and Nanami took care of the bodies and everyone else made their way back inside.

Clean up was a crucial task, you all were careful and diligent. Making sure nothing suspicious touched you directly. As you finished up your shower, you felt an immense amount of relief.

Your eyes felt heavy, in need of sleep despite it still being fairly early in the afternoon. You opened the door and Satoru smiled as he saw you, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

"See? Told you everything would be okay." Satoru smiles and opens his arms up for you to cuddle him. You almost collapse on him, feeling extremely fatigued. "Woah." He chuckles.

"I'm very tired." You mumble.

"I see that, sweetheart." He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, twirling a piece of your hair with his finger. "It's too early for a nap." He frowns lightly.

“I think I exhausted myself leading up to today.” You say, your voice laced with tiredness.

He hums and holds you close to his body, he notices your eyes were shut and your breathing began to slow down, he smiles at the sight. “I guess I’ll let you take a quick nap, I’ll wake you in an hour.”

You nod against his chest and let yourself relax in his embrace, the constant worries of ‘what ifs’ leaving your mind now that the extraction was over.

[wolfiemcwolferson]

Calamar’s Club 2023 Fantasy Fest

We had so so much fun hosting the Fantasy Fest for 2023 in the Calamar’s Club Discord and we want to thank all of our participants for feeding us prime Piarles fics! I will link all of them below, please go and read them! You will not be disappointed! The Mods for this fest are:  @singsweetmelodies @boxboxbrioche @welightitup @river-ocean @duquesademiel and me - WolfieMcWolferson

Title: the blood’s run stale by the lovely @m1tchevans (7k words, complete) Summary: Charles thinks he knows everything about Pierre until he finds him on the finish line in Monaco, his eyes pitch black and his shirt stained red. Further down the street, in an apartment with a familiar red and yellow flag hanging from the window, a dog growls, and a man starts to scream. "Why would someone do that? Give their life?” Charles asks, his mouth suddenly drier than the desert. "I didn’t check," Pierre answers quietly. "But I’m pretty sure it was for you."

Title: the anatomy of us by the wonderful @pinkierre (currently 4k words, WIP) Summary: When his life at home doesn’t satisfy him anymore, Pierre boards a ship from Marseille, sailing into the open world. Charles is a terrified and lonely shifter, who loathes himself, and his shifter form, more than anything. The two meet through an unfortunate event. Can they help one another to find themselves? 

Title: if it weren’t for the everything by the sublime @gaslybottoms​ (24k words, complete) Summary: “You talk about humanity as if they are nothing more than a meal to you.” Pierre shrugs at Charles’ comparison, because in a sense he isn’t that far wrong. Pierre had his fair chance at meeting anybody he felt the desire to over the years, and they always ended up the same way: six feet under and of no use to him. “What else do they have to offer me?” he asks instead, knowing Charles’ answer before he even says it.

Title: hold your hand in mine (starlights in your eyes) by the first-rate @your-littlesecret (20K words, complete) Summary: Charles still remembers the day they found his dragon vividly, he was barely 6. He also remembers the day they found Pierre's dragon, at 15. It has been the four of them ever since, never one without the other.

Title: the cold winds that blow us together by the terrific @yukierres​ (8k words, WIP) Summary: Pierre came to Orkney to escape, to find his freedom in these strange haunted islands at the edge of the world. And to follow the pull calling him here, the inner urge that made him board the boat and find out what awaits him. It isn't until he uncovers a strange seal figurine in the dirt and gets thrown into a quest to help out a Selkie with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and 4000 years of pain in his deep brown eyes that he understands what the call was. Destiny.

Title: Slow Sips by the sensational ghostmyghosthost (9.5k words, complete) Summary: They say the best way to deepen the bond as bonded mates is to French kiss with mouthfuls of blood. Just like vampire bats do.

Title: No matter how far the paths for both of them are (Those who are made for each other connects) by the superb @forelsketparadise​ (1.5k words, WIP) Summary: Pierre is starting to feel like the universe is trying to play a sick joke on him. Why else would his mate be the future Beta of the enemy pack? It makes no sense to him. The pack from Maranello has been rivals with Pierre's pack for centuries now. Certainly life won't be so cruel to him? There is no way he can even think about pursuing his mate and put his entire pack's safety at risk. He is the pack's future Alpha. He has to put the pack before himself.

Title: the bride of gévaudan by the grand @pipitwrites​ (12k words, complete) Summary: At the altar, Charles’s hands trembled as he took the cup of sweet wine from the priest and drank. It was only a small sip, but he felt the rush of heat spreading from his stomach, making him dizzy in a matter of seconds. There was a soft tickle at the back of his hand, barely even a touch. The tip of the Wolf’s tail swayed back at Charles’s elbow. Startled, Charles met the Wolf’s eyes. They were a shocking shade of icy blue and almost human in their regard.

Title: Intret amicitiae nomine tectus amor by the delightful @chipsandnuggets (5.5k words, complete) Summary: "Do you like Quidditch?" He says this, looking surprised. "Most of the time, Papillonlisse people don't." Charles nods with happiness. "I love Quidditch! My favourite team is the Cavalli Rampanti, and yours?" "Mine too!" or: Piarles wizards who happens to love Quidditch as much as they love each other but they don't know yet.

Title: Finally by the magic @car-bo-hydrate​ (3k works, WIP) Summary: Charles, Pierre's college dorm roommate, being a vampire wouldn't be much of an issue, if it weren't for the fact that Charles needed to fuck the other person he drank blood from because he would be overcome with lust. Or, 5 times Charles brought someone else back to their room to fuck after he had drunk blood from them, and the 1 time Pierre found out from Charles why he drank from everyone except for the very person he's sharing a room with.

Title: you are the light that’s leading me by the struggling @wolfiemcwolferson​ (series, 39k words, complete) Summary: Charles gets sucked into the multiverse. Can he get home?

[stellanslashgeode]

ao3 wrapped [writer's edition]

1. How many words have you written this year?

266,592 so far but I'm not done yet.

2. How many works did you publish this year?

14, though I think 2 were carryovers from last year.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I'm really proud of how Way of the Mynock is turning out and it will definitely be my longest work. BUT overall, I am most proud of Permission to Come Aboard, Admiral because I was hesitant to dip my toe into the Thrawn series and it was well-regarded by that fandom and I was asked to put it into a Thrawn Rare Pairs collection. That just tickled me.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

Way of the Mynock by far, only one to get over 2k which isn't a lot but I've only been at this two years so I'm pretty small. And it's not close to done so it'll just keep persevering.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than expected?

Dissonance and Upheaval has 40 comments and while half of them are my replies I'm tickled that something with such a wonky high concept engendered such engaged readers.

6. Favorite title you used?

Serpentes Tremens is one of which I am particularly proud. Poor little drunken snake.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist did you pull from the most?

That's gotta be Kate Nash. Way of the Mynock wouldn't exist without Skeleton Song, though the chapter titles aren't exclusive to that.

8. Pairing you wrote most this year?

Only 4 out of 14 were not Barrissoka so I remain that bitch.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote this year?

Vampire Barriss and vampire hunter Ahsoka followed closely by Emerie Karr and Riyo Chuchi.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I wrote I Love You, Fulcrum directly into the AO3 interface in under an hour.

11, What work took you the longest to write?

Dissonance and Upheaval took a lot of research, and I have to be in the right mood to get the vibe.

12. How many WIPs are you taking into next year with you?

I am hoping to get a few finished, but it looks like seven as well as four or five I have planned but haven't started.

13. What's your longest work of the year?

Way of the Mynock is at 82,571 and not even half done.

14. What's your shortest work of the year?

I Love You, Fulcrum is 756 words young.

15. What WIPs are you taking into next year with you?

idk how this one is different from 12. Way of the Mynock might not even be completed next year. I'm taking it into the Sequel Trilogy era and I'm still on Rebels/Andor. I am hoping Don't Get Captured, Dissonance and Upheaval, and Serpentes Tremens will get finished by the end of the month. Contrasts is giving me trouble. It will get done when it gets done. I haven't even finished the first chapter of The Convor and the Tooka Cat. Poor Operations Other than War is just lying there at the bottom of the ocean.

16. What is your most common "Additional Tags" tag.

Probably "Fusion of Star Wars Legends and Disney Canon". I'm a slut for that one.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Tempted to say vampire Barriss but Emerie was really fun to write since she had some standout episodes but didn't get much backstory or closure in canon. NAH, nah scratch that. It's the Seventh Sister, actually. Both versions of her.

18. The character who gave you the most trouble this year.

Post-Tales of the Jedi Barriss. Still getting to know that girl. After having this version of her in my head post TCW it was hard to connect with new canon.

19. What's one paring do you want to explore next year?

I want to get more into Anidala, if I can find the time. I find them very easy to write and I want to explore the space since they're usually background in my work.

20. Which work of yours have you read the most?

Finishing up Dissonance and Upheaval has me reading the whole series over and over so I get the tone right.

21. How many kudos did you get this year?

482 which pleases the heck out of me as a small creator. That's over half my total!

22. Which work has the most comments?

Way of the Mynock at 52 so far.

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

No, but I will next year.

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

Three, same as the number of licks it takes to get to the gooey center of a Tootsie Pop.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Nope, but it's not over yet!

26. What is your most common category?

A tie between Explicit and General Audience, which makes sense. They're usually the short one-offs.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

I often pick either one artist or genre for a story. Dusk of a Golden Age is all Dead Can Dance, for instance.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

You know what, it's hard to choose but I think my words in her voice is my most personal and I am really happy with how it turned out.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

“Why, Miss Offee. You are sopping.”

30. Biggest surprise while you were writing this year?

I didn't expect to have so much fun writing a Sith character having a philosophical debate.

[silvlee-shepherd]

Tickletober Day 15: Tickle Fight

More info under read more:

When this poly is together, tickles are inevitable. Tickle fights are no exception.

Nearly anything can stir up a tickle fight. Something as little as a startled gasp can lead into one, because then they have to take advantage of whatever caused the reaction, then one gets a little too cocky and has to be reminded about how cute they are, and by then it's simply unfair to let one be untickled!

Ah but once in a blue moon their tickle fights can become quite....intense. That's what you get when your relationship is made up of a reality bender, a demon child, and a herp with a lot of experience on his belt. Surprisingly these tickle fights have no gauge on who would win. Allow me to explain.

First we have reality bender Host, who could literally narrate what happens to their bodies if he wanted to. However, it can be proven quite difficult to bend reality while being tickled. It takes a lot of focus. Still, he has enough strength to summon feathery, fuzzy tendrils to wrap around his lovelies' spots. He may be recieving the least amount of attention, but Host can only take so much at once before it becomes overstimulating, but don't think that a little tracing can't make him crumble.

Next is Yandere. This fierce soul is fueled by determination. I personally like the idea of them having the demonic summoning power of dead hands (from OoT) since it was a demonic easter egg from Yandere Sim *

Though they cannot help but crumble under having two Senpais teasing their ticklish spots

And lastly is poor Silver. You'd think with the combination of two magical partners he'd tap out first, but not Silver! Thanks to his superheroness, his endurance allows him to endure the most intense ticklings for a good while if he's determined enough. He may not have incredible powers, but a quick webshoot to immobilize and his incredible endurance leaves him in a giggly waiting game. After all it's not just him against Host and Yan, since they are also focusing on each other and waning down their energy as well!

Of course it's all good fun for the poly, and they immediately cuddle up with hot cocoas, tea, water, blankies, and with one having bragging right. Well, until the brag one too many times and start another tickle fight

*Note: Artist does not support the creator for Yandere Sim

[renjouu]

Hello! Can I request lee!beomgyu and lers!yeonjun and soobin please? :)

— GAME OF UNO —

POSITIONS: LER! YEONJUN & SOOBIN X LEE! BEOMGYU

WARNINGS: TICKLE FIC

A/N tysm for requesting! enjoy reading everyone :)

the three were hanging out at living room playing uno. every round was intense and all three of them were competitive, especially beomgyu who was actually upset since he was the one who kept losing most of the rounds. the other two oldest members kept track of this and yeonjun couldn’t let this moment go.

“i have an idea, let’s add a twist. whoever loses this round has to face a punishment from the other two members.” the oldest of the three suggested, and soobin looked at him with an agreeing smile.

however, beomgyu was the only one against the suggestion, “aish, hyung! you’re just saying that because i keep losing, huh?! you just want to give me a punishment!” the youngest of the three argued, and soobin laughed.

yeonjun had nothing to hide, “of course!”

beomgyu let out a shocked gasp, “you-!”

“okay stop arguing, who knows beomgyu? maybe yeonjun might be the one losing or even me. and you don’t even know what the punishment may be, let’s just follow along.” the leader stepped in and beomgyu rolled his eyes as soobin started shuffling the cards.

the three all began started playing as soon as they were handed their cards. it was an on-going round that lasted for at least 10 or 15 minutes. by the time it ended, let’s just say…someone was not happy.

soobin won first, so it was just yeonjun and beomgyu who were playing against each other. and to beomgyu’s dismay, yeonjun had won.

the youngest gave the other two an annoyed look as they huddled up to think of a punishment for him.

“what should we do?” soobin whispered, and yeonjun was in thought for a while, before he came up with an idea that would make beomgyu go absolutely crazy.

“5 minutes of tickling.” yeonjun replied, but he purposely said it quite loud so beomgyu could hear him. and when the youngest did hear him, his eyes went wide.

“what?! nonono!” beomgyu backed away as he begged yeonjun to think of something else, but it was no use.

soobin grabbed beomgyu and pinned him down while yeonjun sat on his legs.

“it’s only 5 minutes beomgyu, i’m sure you can endure it!”

“no! i caHAHAN’T!” beomgyu shrieked as soon as he felt ten fingers digging into his ribs, showing absolutely no mercy at all.

“PLEHEHEASE I REALLY CAHAHAN’T!” beomgyu screamed and thrashed around on the floor, making it quite hard for soobin to pin him down.

“yah, stay still will you!” soobin shouted as he grabbed beomgyu’s wrists with a tighter grip than before.

“I CAHAHAN’T! STOHOHOP—!”

yeonjun couldn’t help but laugh along with the younger, and soobin couldn’t help but do the same. beomgyu’s reaction was practically killing the other two members.

the oldest decided to move his fingers more down, towards beomgyu’s hips to be exact. he dug his thumbs right into his hip bones and beomgyu shrieked.

“HYUHUHUNG PLEHEASE STOHOHOP!” beomgyu begged, and yeonjun only shook his head before responding.

“no way, soobin still hasn’t gotten to tickle you yet.” he said, smirking at beomgyu then up at soobin who smiled back.

“noHOHOHO!”

“chill-ax beomgyu-ah…you’re making it sound like 5 minutes of tickling is an eternity.”

“BECAHAHAUSE IHIHIT IS!”

soobin tilt his head, “is it really? i doubt it…anyways, two minutes are up hyung, it’s my turn!”

the two members switched places so now it was soobin sitting on beomgyu’s legs and yeonjun pinning him down. the youngest of the three couldn’t help but whine and roll his eyes, wishing for this punishment to be over as fast as possible!

soobin smiled, “where should i start?” he asked the youngest who grumbled and turn his head to the side.

“here?” soobin poked the boy’s side twisted to the side. “or here?” beomgyu felt a poke to his armpits.

the leader began starting slow, by poking every where his fingers could reach, and beomgyu was twisting left and right, trying to get away. but unfortunately for him, yeonjun was much better at holding him down.

“stohohop!” the boy giggled out, but of course no one listened to him.

“hey, try his armpits soobin.” yeonjun suggested, and beomgyu struggled.

“nonono pleHEHEASE!” the boy’s laughter came back to life again as soon as soobin dug his fingers into his armpits.

beomgyu arched his back off the wooden floor which made it easier for the leader to tickle him, but then again, beomgyu couldn’t handle this. he was just doing anything at this point to stop the tickles.

“STOPSTOPSTOHOHOP!” the youngest once again, thrashed around making it slightly harder for the oldest, but he got the hang of it.

“YAHAHAH! CHOI SOOBIN!” beomgyu shouted, and the said boy stopped what he was doing and widened his eyes in pure shock.

“choi soobin? you just dropped the honorifics like that? oh you’re so getting it now.” soobin said before signaling yeonjun to attack the boy’s underarms while he attacked everywhere else.

“WAHAHAIT I’M SOHOHORRY! PLEHEHEASE! AHAHA—!” soobin went from tickling beomgyu’s ribs, to his sides, to his hips, and to his feet. everything was happening with a quick pace that the youngest couldn’t even keep track where soobin’s tickling fingers were at.

“PLEHEHEASE!” beomgyu wheezed, and just before the timer rang, his laugh went completely silently. his face all red and embarrassed because he was getting wrecked by two of his members.

yeonjun stopped the timer and soobin got off of the youngest who was sweating.

“i’m never…playing uno with you guys again!” the boy frowned as he sat up, wiping his sweat off with a towel that yeonjun had just gave him while laughing.

[cinewhore]

The Take Over - chapter one

Pairing: Marcus Pike x fem!reader

Rating: mature

word count: 2.6k

read the prologue

warnings: mentions of smut - nothing described. 

Summary: Linda Cosgrove is convinced something isn’t right with her husband. You and Marcus have a rocky morning. 

A/N: This is an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers AU. You don’t need to watch the film to understand what’s going on. Credit to the gif maker(s). No beta. 

It starts with Linda Cosgrove.

You try not to stir too much, pinned underneath Marcus’s body. It felt whole being with him again after being away from home for a week. Many folks still whisper about the blatant show of affection, one woman even going so far as to scold you after she witnessed Marcus grabbing a handful of your ass in the shoe store. You didn’t mind it, you were happy and that’s all that mattered.

You regard your husband in all his hazy glory, smiling at the little pout his mouth does when he’s asleep. You’re careful with your index finger as you run it down the middle of his forehead, shaping the sharp curve of his nose. The action tickles him, nose twitching in response. As your finger slips lower, you huff out a laugh as Marcus pecks your finger lightly before opening his mouth to chomp at it.

“Watch it!” you warn, trying your hardest to untangle yourself from his hold. Marcus doesn’t budge, lowering his head in between your neck and shoulder. He nips at your throat, running a hand up your stomach to tickle it. You squeal, thrashing around to avoid being attacked again. You turn so that your back is facing him, attempting to make it out of bed when you knock back against Marcus, taking in his morning wood.

You both stop, Marcus raising his eyebrows seductively when you crane your head to get a look at him. Shaking your head defiantly, you hold up a finger.

“No-”

“Baby, come on! I’ll be quick.” he whines, wrapping his arms tighter around your torso.

“Marcus, we are not gunning on hitting a new record right now. I’ve got work.”

The alarm clock on the nightstand reads 7:16. If you didn’t get a start now, you were going to be very late for your first appointment.

“You just got back and I’ve been lonely without you. My hand doesn’t feel as nearly as good as your pu-”

Your cell phone interrupts, the vibrating box nearly taking a tumble off the nightstand if you hadn’t reached your hand out quick enough to grab it. You press the green circle on the screen, holding the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Oh good, you’re awake. That’s a start.”

Janie’s voice mocks you as you bat away Marcus’s hands. He finally gives up, lying back down.

“I’m halfway out the door and I don’t keep the tab running when I’m at home, so I’m assuming this is an emergency?” you exhale, rolling your neck around to stretch.

“Uh, yeah. It kind of is.” Janie looks back into the waiting room of your office, a stunned woman sitting eerily still in one of the chairs. “Linda Cosgrove is here and she refuses to move unless she sees you.”

“You mean the Linda who says that Jesus is her only doctor and she doesn’t trust modern medicine because she doesn’t know what’s in it? That Linda?”

Janie sighs. “The same one.”

You glance at Marcus who has a scowl forming on his face. You shrug, shaking your head.

“Did she at least say what she wanted?”

“Something about her husband. She’s been muttering biblical nonsense since she got here. She was waiting in the parking lot when I arrived.”

You put a bit more pep in your step, almost toppling over as you slip your legs into your trouser. You didn’t partly blame Linda for being the way that she is, she hadn’t been exposed to anything else and it was hard to challenge the views of a person who raised that they were always right.

“Shit. Tell her I’ll be there in 15.”

“I’m keeping count. At 20 you owe me lunch.”

You don’t say anything else as you hang up the phone, tossing it on the bed. Marcus watches with a keen eye as you get dressed, lounging on the bed like some sort of Greek God.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for class?” you question him, paying special attention to the buttons on your blouse.

“It’s an online class later today. No rush.”

“God,” you make your way over to him, leaning down to get a kiss. “Why can’t we all be that lucky?”

“Well not everyone is a doctor, doctor.”

You mush his face affectionately. “Says the FBI agent.”

“Retired FBI agent.”

You stop and tilt your head, noticing the change in tone. “Do you miss it?”

Marcus holds your gaze a little before he breaks it, choosing to stare out of the window instead. You can tell by the way his jaw ticks that he wants to say more but ultimately, won’t.

“Sometimes.” he finally whispers.

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep the emotions at bay, not wanting to start an argument before you both head into work. It wasn’t an easy decision, packing up the once ever so glamorous life in the city and moving to a smaller suburb but this was a job offer you didn’t want to pass up. You got the opportunity to be over your own office, set your own hours and got paid a shit ton to do it. You and Marcus both toyed with the idea of starting a family and you figured this was the best place to do it.

“I should get going.”

Marcus chases after your touch but you pull back, opting to grab your coat and purse instead.

“Baby,”

“I’m not sure how long I’ll be tonight but I’ve prepped dinner so you’ll just need to put it in the oven.” You give him your best smile but you could both see through the bullshit. He nods, eyes cast downward. “Have a great class.”

You exit without another word.

Linda looks up from the cross necklace tucked inside of her stubby fist, eyes hardened and rimmed red. You usher her back to the examination room, checking over her vitals Janie monitored earlier.

“It’s so good to see you, Mrs. Cosgrove. Janie said you really wanted to talk to me today?”

Linda nods so eagerly you were scared her neck was going to snap. You maneuver a stool from underneath the desk in the room, sitting directly across from her.

“What seems to be the issue?”

She sniffles and by instinct, you reach behind you to grab the box of tissues situated on the desk without blinking an eye. Linda takes a few from the box.

“It’s my husband. He ain’t right.”

“Ok..did he eat something? I know he works construction, maybe he was injured?” you probe your brain for likely causes.

“No, no! He’s not himself, he’s different.” Linda insists, her resolve slowly cracking. Perhaps he was harboring guilt? It wasn’t uncommon for those who commit adultery to feel the toll of their behavior physically but there was no way that you were going to even suggest her husband was cheating on her. It was of no business to you, anyhow.

You rummage through your coat pocket, pulling out a small tablet and pen. Flipping to a clean sheet, you steady yourself.

“Can you describe his behavior? Whatever seems abnormal, I’d like to take note of.”

Linda regards you with apprehension for a moment but stands down.

“Well, I wasn’t so sure about what I was seeing, but our dog, Champ, knows best. Champ won’t go near him and every time Joe comes home, Champ just loses his mind. Say what you want but there are two types of people who have good judgment and that’s our Lord in savior Jesus Christ and dogs.”

You nod your head to indicate that you were listening, furiously jotting down things that stood out to you. Oddly enough, you found yourself agreeing with Linda. Dogs had a sensibility that humans did not and if there were some shit happening, they would know.

“And well,” Linda lets a few tears slip out, dabbing at her eyes. “He just doesn't love me like he used to. Like I said, he’s different.”

You glance up from your notes, setting the items to the side. Hesitantly, you reach a hand over and rest it on her knee. Regardless of what was happening, a woman was in pain and you were the first person she turned to for help. It poked and prodded at your heart, nestling itself there and creating a need to see this through.

“Have you considered that there’s been a possible change in his mental state? If his moods are shifting-”

“He ain’t mental!” Linda hisses, swinging her knee so that your hand fell. 

“I wasn’t insinuating that he was, we just need to scope this out from all points of view, Mrs. Cosgrove.”  

“My husband is many things but he is not mentally unwell and neither am I! Why can’t you just listen to what I’m trying to tell you?! He’s hurtin’ and I need you to figure out what’s wrong with him and fix it!”

You try to regain control of the situation.

“Ok, ok. I’m just trying to understand, is all. I believe you, if anyone knows your husband best, it’s his wife.”

The wedding band on your own fingers burns at your own statement.

Linda’s eyes shift wide open. “You..do?”

“Yes, if it's bothering you this much there must be probable cause. How about you bring in Joe tomorrow and we’ll run some tests and get him looked at.”

Linda nods her head slowly, seemingly going over her schedule in her mind. “I can do that.”

You clap your hands together, standing from the stool. “Excellent! Janie will help you select a time that works for you and Joe. If anything urgent comes up, give me a call.”

Linda breaks out into a smile, the first one you’ve seen that wasn’t reflective of passive aggressiveness.

“Thank you, Dr. Pike.”

You return Linda’s smile with your own. “Anytime.”

Janie nudges her shoulders with yours as you both watch Linda exit the building. You scribble a note on your hand, grabbing some files off of Janie’s desk to get a quick overview of what the rest of your day looked like. A boring day, more or less.

“Should I just mark her down for a checkup?”

“For now, yes. Joe isn’t feeling like himself so I’ll just run a few tests to make sure he hasn't injured something we can’t see. If all checks out, I’ll recommend they see Dr. Narduzzi.”

Janie huffs out a breath. “I don’t think they’ll take too kindly to that.”

“Well, she won’t have any other choice.”

After a long day of examinations and meetings, you were more than thrilled to see your home come into view as you turned on your street. A few lights were on and you assumed Marcus waited up for you despite you warning him not to mess up his sleep schedule over you.

As you enter, you’re met with the savory aroma of a veggie lasagna, mixed with the buttery goodness of freshly baked garlic bread. Cutting the corner to the kitchen, your face lights up a bit at the sight of a clean kitchen table, complete with new flowers stuffed in a vase. Your husband sits at the head of the table, a few papers and his laptop in front of him. He peers up from his work, eyes decorated by his reading glasses.

“Marcus, why are you still up?”

It was well past 10 and you knew he liked to be in bed by now. Not exactly to sleep, as he liked to read a few chapters of a novel before snoozing.

“I wanted to eat with you.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You haven’t eaten yet?”

“I mean I have, I just wanted to sit with you while you ate. I thought I’d get some grading down while I waited for you to come home.”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention. Wasting no more time, you put your things away and claim the seat next to Marcus, murmuring a small thanks after he makes a plate for you, topping it off with a glass of wine.

“Danny called.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he mentioned wanting to get together soon. I was thinking we could invite him and Sydney over for a game night or maybe dinner. Whenever you’re free, of course.”

You hum in agreement, taking a swig of wine to wash down your food.

The two of you continue to coexist in silence, only exchanging brief glimpses. The strain from this morning still weighs on your shoulders and you had no energy to try and correct it tonight. You had spent all day striving to better your patients that you had no interest in fixing your own marriage. You were tired of doing the heavy lifting.

That was just the thing, though. You didn’t have to.

Once you were finished with dinner, Marcus offered to clean the dishes, sending you upstairs to shower the day away. When you came out of the bathroom, he had found his way to his side of the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

“C’mere.” he mumbles, holding an outstretched hand toward you. You take it, permitting him to pull you into his hold. He spreads his legs out so that you fit between them, both hands now taking hold of your waist.

You scratch at his jaw, admiring the stubble that was forming.

“I’m sorry for this morning. I don’t want you to think that just because I miss my old job that I’m not happy here with you. I agreed to follow you to the ends of the earth when we got married and I meant that.”

Marcus’s hand’s creep up to your face, rubbing away the hot tears that race down your face. You hadn’t even realized you were crying, all the pent up anxiety releasing itself.

“I never want you to resent me for taking the job. Everyday I wake up terrified that you’ll be gone.” you hiccup, becoming self conscious after sharing such an uncomfortable thought. Marcus rises up from the bed, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace.

He lets you get everything out, swaying the two of you back and forth in a comforting motion. After a while you pull your face out of his chest to fully look at him.

Marcus gives you a watery smile. “We’re ok.”

You nod. “We’re ok.”

Marcus seals the affirmation with a kiss, tongues intertwining as hands begin to roam and explore flesh.

That night, Marcus fucks you within an inch of your life, bringing you over the edge numerous times there was no way you’d be able to walk properly for the rest of the week. It clouded your mind, the only things that you could feel or even make sense of, was him. A delicate and meditative lover who proved to you that the two of you were in this together. As he reaches his own peak, you cradle his body, gasping at the way he was filling you up. Your bodies were covered in slick sheen, legs tangled and limbs slack.

You aren’t exactly sure when you fell asleep or when you switched positions but you were facing your nightstand, the sheer blue light of your clock blinking in your face.

3:02

Your phone was buzzing. Sydney was calling.

“Hello?” your voice croaks. Sydney’s comes across panicked, forcing you to perk up.

“Oh, thank god you answered! I’m so sorry for waking you up at this hour but we didn’t know who else to call and we didn’t want to call the cops before-”

“Syd, can you slow down a little?”

Marcus groans, shifting in his sleep.

“Right. Sorry.” There’s a bit of shuffling heard in the background, a male voice becoming present.

“It’s Danny. You need to get over here. Quick.”

“What the fuck is going on?”

“There’s a body on my living room floor.”

You whine, flopping back onto your pillows. “Danny, please tell me you aren’t drinking.”

“I’m not fucking kidding you! I’m standing and looking at it.”

“Ok and whose body is it?”

An audible gulp.

“It’s mine.”

[daydreaming-nerd]

SJM ask game

Thank you so much to @kennedy-brooke for tagging me, I hope I did this right (I have zero competence) I hope you guys know that when you tag me in these I totally kick my feett and giggle I get so tickled.🖤

1) What’s your favourite SJM book? A Court Of Silver Flames, that book literally changed my life

2) Which is your favourite series (tog, acotar or cc) Oh my god, it depends on what I last read, which right now is ACOTAR but TOG is my baby

3) Who is your favourite character? (And why?) Nesta and how much time do you have? I'll say this, I'm Nesta through and through, I had a friend who once said I looked like her. Nesta is how I feel about myself and seeing her working towards being better makes me want to be better too.

4) Do you have a favourite quote from one of the books? "So Nesta had become a wolf. Armed herself with invisible teeth and claws, and learned to strike faster, deeper, more lethally. Has relished it. But when the time came to put away the wolf, she found it had devoured her too."

5) Favourite ship? I'm going with Nessian or Rowaelin because I hope I can find someone that sees all of me and chooses to love me anyways too one day :)

6) Elriel or Gwynriel? Or neither? If you're holding a pew pew to my head I'm going Gwynriel. Because I love Lucien too much. but honestly neither.

7) Who’s the most underrated SJM character? This is SUCH a hot take but Tharion Ketos. Has he had his moments recently? yeah. But the way that guy flirts? Oh I would be giggling and kicking my feet.

8) Which character do you wish to learn more about? Eris Vanserra, did I tear him to shreds in my Cassian series? yes. Do need him in a carnal way? Absolutely. I just know he's got shit going on.

9) Are there any characters you don’t like? Ithan Holstrom and I have beef...

10) Favourite bat boy? Shoot me it would hurt less. Honestly I think if I was in a room with them and none of them had mates I'd run to Rhys first. He's a scorpio and so am I (shocker) so I know we would vibe. but on the official mate quiz I got Azriel so???

11) Favourite court?/ Which one would you most like to live in? I'm a night owl (but y'all knew that) and a scorpio, so either night court or autumn but honestly, I think autumn.

12) Favourite SJM villain? Arobynn Hamel, simply because I think good villains are people you absolutely despise and I would find so much catharsis from curb stomping him.

13) If you could change one thing in any of the books what would it be? Might be a hot take but the Nyx plotline. It makes no sense for Rhys and Feyre to be like "we have all the time in the word" and then decide they want a baby right after. like what?

14) Favourite SJM theory? That Ruhn is a shadowsinger (maybe this isn't a theory but I have a fic coming about it soon so shut up)

15) Favourite Archeron sister? I think we all know...Nesta

16) A character you feel is over-hated/ underrated: I can't say my real answer or y'all will kill me so I'm gonna say Tharion Ketos again.

17) Aelin, Bryce, or Feyre? AELIN ASHRYVER GALATHYNIUS

18) What’s your favourite character from each series? Aelin, Nesta, and Rhun

19) If you wrote an acotar book what would you call it? A Court of Blood and Embers (and it would be the blood duel with Az and Lu Lu)

20) Who is your favourite acotar blogger? @tadpolesonalgae (I seriously love everything you.write)

21)What fics would you recommend to people who love the series? I'm not answering this one ONLY because I'm actually working on a fic rec list for y'all

Questions for writers

22) Easiest character to write for? Rhysand, I feel like I am Rhysand (scorpio buddies) so if I would say/do it so would Rhys.

23) Hardest character to write for? I haven't written anything for them yet (plz request) but I'm gonna go Rowan and Lorcan. Only because it's been a while since I read TOG

24) What’s a character you’d like to write for but haven’t yet? ERIS VANSERRA, y'all I am begging you, send me your Eris ideas. I want to write him but I have no ideas.

25) What’s a court you’d like to write about more? Day (incoming jealous Az fic you are all going to love) and Autumn.

26) What’s a character you won’t write for and why? Probably Elain, I just don't know enough about her to be able to do a good enough job.

27) If you could only write for one character ever again, who would you pick? Azriel, he's just such an easy guy to write for right now, and I think people like reading Azriel fics the most.

28) Whats your favourite trope to write about when it comes to Azriel? Reader being Rhysand's sister, I will literally make the reader Rhys' sister in every fic Idgaf, I want our girl to be a pretty princess. and the on top of that JEALOUSY.

29) What do you think is the best/favourite acotar fic you’ve written? I gotta pick between my babies... aight.

How Did It End? put my heart and soul into her and it flopped.

I'll Crawl Home to Her again, put my cooch into this and flopped.

The Prophecy (Azriel's Ending) guess what? put my cooch into it and it flopped.

so bascially if I liked it? It flopped, jail time.

30) Who are your favourite friendships to write about? Cassian the reader, I haven't gotten a chance to do much with it but I hope to soon.

31) For first time readers to your blog, which three fics would you recommend they read? *cracks knuckles*

You want plot? Young Love, Old Money or The Bonds That Break Us

You want smut? You Want a Baby? or Our Girl

Angsty af: How Did It End? and Implode

Tagging (and no pressure if you don't want to do it! ps love y'alls work) : @honeybeefae, @marvelsmylife, @throneofsmut, @azsazz, @sarawritestories

[bleachbleachbleach]

who is your fav fav character from bleach?

if you want you can separate answers for male/female or for shinigamies/arrancars/etc 🤲🤲🤲

meow 🐱 have a great day

Whipplefilter:

Hitsugaya! 😭🥰 He was my favorite when I first read Bleach ~15 years ago and he’s still my runaway favorite now, having come back to it in 2020. He’s who I think about every day, whether I’m spinning out fanfic scenes in my mind or lovingly returning to some microdetail in canon or just building out completely inert, ephemeral headcanons that have no intended use. He’s who I’ll go full Close Reading on—every bodily expression! Every linguistic tic! I want to know it! He’s a character about whom I feel so intensely that I feel like the only way I can convey that love with the fullness and specificity I’d like is to write him in fanfic, and even that is something I think is really, really hard. I’d say the impulse, "I want to write you" is peak love for me, but I guess really it’s "I have to write you," which is the peak atop the peak. I just really love him, I cry.

I think he has such an interesting way of perceiving the world and of understand who he is and where he’s placed in it. He has these really incisive reads of things while also simultaneously knowing absolutely nothing, and often knowing that he knows nothing. Like, he’s willing to accept the WIP of it all, but is really aggressive about doing the work. Narrating your fights is a typical convention of shounen, but I am so tickled by the fact that at multiple points an opponent issues a taunt or points out a weakness and he’ll just be like, "Yes" and go on to explain in detail where he thinks there’s room for improvement. I find this completely bananas but also very endearing. He manages to be very forthright and straightforward and the squarest person alive while also constantly doing or saying things that are inscrutable and/or outright arcane. This doesn’t even get into the other 119 things I Think Are Core to Hitsugaya, which is why I feel like I can’t actually tell, I need to show. It also feels very personal, so I get self-conscious and shy about it/worried that I am going to overburden everyone around me with the magnitude of my blorbo feels, even though this is literally what fandom and Tumblr are putatively for.

After Hitsugaya, my favorites are Byakuya, Renji, Rukia, Matsumoto, and Hinamori; they move around in terms of in what order they appear. Then Hisagi, Akon, and Mayuri. Thennnn probably like… Ashisogi Jizou (Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc) and Sasakibe. I’ve probably made some horrible erroneous omission here and there are characters that outrank Ashisogi Jizou and Sasakibe but this is what my heart is saying right now.

ippoddity:

One time I tried to make a list of my favorite Bleach characters, and then I realized that it was impossible to make a tiered list. So then I tried to make a mind map thing of my favorite characters and it was so sprawling and ever-changing that I had to scrap the whole thing. If I had to choose some favs that are consistently at the top of the heap, I think I would have to go with Aizen and Renji. Aizen has long been my fav, ever since my first go-around with the series years and years ago. I think he’s probably one of the best manga/anime characters of all time. The deception! The motivations! The power! But also, the fallibility and the loneliness 🥲. Renji because who doesn’t like an underdog story? Renji is one of the first characters to bring humanity to the shinigami, because he shows that they are more than just their military training, they have regrets, and the capacity to love. Plus, he just looks really cool.

Other favorites which I am incapable of ranking: Hisagi, Byakuya, Ishida. And then the next batch includes Akon, Mayuri, Matsumoto, Ukitake, Ichigo. These groupings have very permeable membranes, and characters move in and out of them all the time. If you asked me in a month who my favorite characters are, I would probably give you a different answer lol.

[the-rewatch-rewind]

My final guest episode, with not one but two very special guests!

Transcript below the break

Jane

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number 7 on my list: Disney’s 2001 comedy The Princess Diaries, directed by Garry Marshall, written by Gina Wendkos based on a book by Meg Cabot, and starring Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews.

Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) is a shy and unpopular 15-year-old just trying to survive high school, when the grandmother she’s never met, Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews), shows up and reveals that she is the queen of a small European country called Genovia. Since Mia’s father, whom she also never met, has recently died and had no other children, Mia is now first in line for the throne. While she’s still deciding whether to accept this job, Mia receives princess lessons and a makeover, and has to deal with how these changes affect her relationships, especially with her best friend Lilly Moscovitz (Heather Matarazzo) and Lilly’s brother Michael (Robert Schwartzman).

This movie is so fun and iconic that I felt like I needed two special guests to talk about it with me, so in a few moments I will be joined by my sister Rosemary, whom you may remember from the Newsies episode, and my friend Sophie, whom you may remember from the Enchanted episode. But first, the breakdown of when I watched this movie after I started keeping track: three times in 2003, three times in 2004, five times in 2005, twice in 2006, twice in 2007, twice in 2008, once in 2009, once in 2010, once in 2012, twice in 2013, once in 2015, once in each year from 2017 through 2020, twice in 2021, and once in 2022. Yes, I watched this movie 30 times in 20 years, and I would do it again. So let’s talk about it!

Hello, Sophie and Rosemary.

Sophie

Hi!

Rosemary

Hello.

Jane

Welcome back to both of you. 

Sophie 

Thank you. Happy to be back. 

Rosemary 

Thanks for having me back. 

Jane 

I'm so glad to have you both here, even though you've never met each other before, but I know that you both love this movie, as do I. So I'm very excited to talk about Princess Diaries. I think we can start with how we got introduced to this movie, if we remember. I know that Rosemary saw it in theaters and I did not. 

Sophie 

That's too bad. Rosemary, you want to go first? 

Rosemary 

Sure! Um, I don't remember exactly all of the circumstances. I do remember going to see it in theaters with my mom and it was really good. We really enjoyed it. And we're like, Jane will love this, and really liked the line, “Goodbye trolley people!” That really tickled us. And then I do remember around the same time, the local like, bookstore and newspaper, I think, put on this contest where someone could, like, write an essay about why they should be like princess for the day or something. And one of my best friends at the time was like the winner of it.

Sophie

Wow.

Rosemary

So that was when I like, realized that, oh, these are actually books too, and then got really into the books around the same time as well. 

Sophie 

That's so cool. 

Rosemary 

So those are my like, early memories of Princess Diaries. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I actually can't remember if I got into the books or the movie first. Probably the movie, but I would say my trajectory was really similar. Like if I saw the movie first, then I read the books immediately after. And I probably saw like a trailer for the movie on Disney Channel or whatever because I… I do distinctly remember, like they did this thing where like they would if if the movie or show or whatever had a song, they would do, like a music video of whatever the big song was in the movie, and show that as like a commercial for whatever it was. And then in this case, because they're, I mean, there was Miracles Happen and they probably did a music video of that. But they also did, they would show like a scene from whatever it was like, sneak peek into our latest whatever. And so they did the the tea scene at the consulate where the “Gosh, Gee whiz, golly-wolly” exchange happens. And so of course, like me and all my other little 6-year-old friends were saying “shut up” to each other and thought that was the peak of hilarity, which I'm sure our parents were thrilled with. So that was, that was definitely a big, a big scene for us. 

Rosemary 

And then I also remember like, early on, like shortly after it came out on VHS or whatever, for Jane's birthday, her like birthday party was like… I remember our family, but I don't know who else was there, and we all just, like, gathered in the living room on the pull out couch with the like, little like 12 inch VHS player. And we all like gathered around it and watched Princess Diaries. 

Sophie 

That's so fun. 

Rosemary 

And that was like your 12th birthday party or something. 

Jane 

Yeah. Yeah. No, I I was trying to- cause I definitely remember you and mom going to see it and and coming back and being like, “There was this really funny ‘goodbye trolley people’ scene!” And I was like, what does that even mean? [laughs] But I don't remember like I assumed that I'd seen it before that birthday party, because otherwise why would I have asked to watch it for my birthday?

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

I didn't see it in theaters, but maybe we had rented it or something before that. But I definitely remember that because I we watched it for my birthday party and then since we had rented it, we had it for a few more days and I watched it like multiple times all of the days that we had it because it was also like my birthday was during spring break. And that was only like a couple of months after our aunt died. So it was like a weird time and I was like, kind of sad during that time. But like that week, I just remember like, watching this movie over and over and just being like, “I love this so much! This is the thing that makes me happy!” But I wasn't keeping track of movies yet because that was 2002 and so I'm like, OK, well, if I if I'd started a year earlier, then this movie would have so many more watches.

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

Because as it is, I've watched it 30 times in in the 20 years that I counted. But I don't remember how many times I had watched it before, but I definitely was just, like, so in love with it. I'm not exactly sure what it was about this movie that I was so excited about when I first started watching it. 

Rosemary 

Well, it's very… it's a very comforting movie.

Sophie

Mm-hmm.

Jane

Yeah.

Rosemary

Like, it feels very like warm and like a hug.

Sophie 

Yeah. I do… like, I always worry with the movies that I feel that way about. Like, is it nostalgia or is it really a good movie? I think this one airs on the side of it's really a just a good movie. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I I would agree. I just I every time I watch it, I'm just like, this is just so nice.

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

It's, it there's, I mean there's conflict and there's like a few uncomfortable moments. But overall it's just like a nice story. 

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary 

And it has a good it's a good tone between silly, goofy and also like very sweet and sincere, and like it never feels like overreaching in the, like emotional moments that it hits.

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

Like it all feels very like genuine and earned and like realistic. 

Sophie 

Yeah, for like for finding out that you're a Princess when you're 15. It's a really realistic movie. 

Rosemary 

Well, yes. Is it based on a true story?

Sophie 

But no but I get what you're saying. Like the premise is absurd and at the same time it's very grounded in reality. And I I appreciate that, like, the characters seem to be genuine, like good hearted people. I love that people apologize when they do the wrong thing. Like, and Jane and I were talking before we started recording about the some of the changes between the book and the movie. And I think making Clarisse a nice person is one of the things that this movie does really well. Because book Clarisse would never have apologized to Mia for making her feel bad or, like, not listening to her. And then you get Julie Andrews, who's like, “I'm really sorry that I judged before I, you know, heard your side of the story.” 

Jane 

One of my favorite stories about this movie coming to be is that when they were talking to Meg Cabot about how they were going to adapt it, somebody was telling her, like, “We're thinking about, like, killing off the dad and expanding the grandmother’s role.” Because because the dad is alive in the books. And like, “We have someone, like a really big star in mind to play the grandmother and we think like, we should expand her role and get rid of the dad.” And Meg Cabot was like, “Well, who… who you were thinking?” and they said “Julie Andrews,” and she immediately went, “Kill the dad.”

[all laugh]

Rosemary

Yeah.

Jane

And Julie Andrews… this was an interesting point in her career because she had recently undergone surgery that caused her to lose a lot of her singing voice. Like that was in the mid 90s. And so she was kind of. In retirement to a certain degree, like she wasn't really sure what the rest of her career might look like. And this was also her first Disney movie since Mary Poppins.

Sophie

Wow.

Jane

And it's just so cool to see her sort of mentoring Anne Hathaway, who is making her feature film debut in a big Disney movie, which is exactly what Julie Andrews had done with Mary Poppins. And first of all, just… hard to believe that this is Anne Hathaway's first movie because she's so… she carries the movie so well, like I do think that's a big part of why you get that grounded feel is like she brings such a like realistic sense to the role of Mia. And I just think she was perfectly cast. And I also just think it's so fun that she's kind of following in the footsteps of Julie Andrews. I mean, obviously her career has looked very different overall, but it's kind of fun that they both have the same introduction to movies. 

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary 

That is really interesting that Julie Andrews didn't do more Disney movies after Mary Poppins. 

Jane 

Yeah, right? Cause you think, she's such a Disney icon. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, you would think that like they would be really fighting for her to have roles and stuff. 

Sophie 

Keep her in. Keep her in the family, in the fold. 

Jane 

Yeah, that was that was something that I hadn't, I wasn't really aware of until relatively recently. I was looking at more facts about this movie, and I was like, wait really? It's just very interesting. I'm not really sure how that conversation went, of like convincing her to do this movie if she was, like, really excited about it, or if she needed some persuasion. But I'm really glad she did because like, I'm sure I had seen Mary Poppins and Sound of Music multiple times before Princess Diaries came out. But, like, that's really what made me become a Julie Andrews fan is seeing her just totally kill it in this role. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I think Mary Poppins probably was my first, but this is the first that I like, really remember of her. 

Jane 

Yeah. So the two of them, I mean, everybody in this movie is great, but I love the dynamic between the two of them and like the whole scene when they're like at the arcade together is really nice, and and just like seeing their characters relationship transformed throughout the movie is great. And I… just thinking about like, yes, this is a romantic story and like there's some focus on her and Michael, but there's so many other relationships that are really important and really focused on in this movie and like, Mia and her grandmother, Mia and her mother, Mia and Lilly. Like there's friendships and family relationships, and it's like, and there's a romance, too. But it's kind of like, that's not really what the majority of the movie is focused on, which I think has always resonated with me. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I would definitely agree that although the Josh versus Michael conflict is a really big one, it is a romantic conflict and yet it's not like… it's not romantic. It's just, like, kind of an allegory for Mia trying to, in much the same way that to be a Princess or not to be a Princess is like her growing up and developing. Like maybe the things that I thought I wanted aren't the things that are going to make me the happiest. And I do sort of like in the book that she's always had this kind of pining crush for Michael, I think that's very sweet, but it's nice that Josh serves as like a, this, you know, this is what I've thought I've been working towards this whole time and then it turns out it actually is really horrible and I don't like it. And I would rather do something else. I think it serves the same sort of purpose that she's like, growing up and becoming more like sure of herself and confident. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, I think things that I've always liked about the movie, like the romantic teen sort of aspects of it, is that it feels more realistic to what people actually go through in their high school years than a lot of teen movies. Where they're like, “Oh, this is my true love. I'm going to marry them. I'm gonna…” you know, whereas like Mia has this crush on this guy and like, she gets all giggly and flustered when she's around him and she's not smooth and neither really is he. But, you know… 

Jane 

He thinks he is, though. 

Rosemary 

He thinks he is and and I feel like that's very like, sweetly portrayed. And like a very innocent like teen romance feel. But I think a lot of teen movies, they rush into being way too adult and like heavy feeling, but I've always, I've always really liked that Mia doesn't… she doesn't... Josh doesn't notice her because really, any other reason other than because she's a Princess. She doesn't have smooth pick-up lines. She's not like, cool and confident. There's not really any focus on, “Oh she's like, really sexy. So he’s, of course he notices her.” It's really just because he wants to be… have some fame. And then like this guy that's like her best friend's brother, like, I feel like that's stuff that happens to people, you know? It's like you're around these people for your whole growing up years and you're like, “Well, I have feelings. I don't know what these are. But maybe I'm in love with you. But maybe I just…” you know, trying to figure things out. And like she wants to get her first kiss. And it just feels so sweet and innocent in a way that I think a lot of teen movies really miss that point and are really like thrown into like much bigger, like, “I'm desperately in love with you” or “I want to sleep with you” or things like that. And this movie really like, keeps it, like at least more of what my experience as a teenager was where it was like, “Oh, I have a crush on this person. I'm awkward, and then we move on or we hope they notice us. But then when they do, I don't know what to do and…” So that aspect of, it does have that romantic story, but it definitely feels like, yes, these are teenagers who are, like, feeling things for the first time. And what does that mean, and what does that look like? 

Sophie 

Right. It's very sweet and innocent. She's like, very concerned with if her foot's gonna pop or not. Like she's not…. there's no like, you were saying, it's not like desperate. She's not like, this is, you know, “My my parents say I can't be with this person. And so therefore I have to have them, and we have to run off and get married and then he's going to turn me into a vampire” or whatever. And she wants to be kissed and she wants to have this little like old movie moment. And then she does get that and it's… But it's… with Michael it also is a little bit of maturity. Like, “I don't like him because he's, you know, cute or popular or he has a boat or whatever” it's, you know, “You… you noticed me. You saw the real me and you like me anyway.” 

Rosemary 

“You saw me when I was invisible.”

Sophie 

Tears. And then all the lights turn on and the fountains come on and we’re in the garden with the roses and yeah, so. 

Jane 

Yeah, that's it's interesting because so much of the movie feels so like relatively realistic given the premise. And then that moment, it does kind of seem a little bit fairy tale-ish. But it's also explained because multiple times throughout the movie, The Queen is talking about how she needs the gardens to be fancier. 

Sophie 

“Make me an Eden.” 

Jane 

Yeah, exactly. So they're like working on the gardens the whole time. And so like that kind of that pays off in that moment, too. And it's like, it's not just this came out of nowhere. It's like, this is what the garden needed to be beautiful for! 

Rosemary 

And I love that we keep going back to, “Yeah, this movie is realistic. The story is realistic” because, OK, first of all, she finds out she's a Princess for the first time when she's 15. And Josh, who's, like a 15/16 year old, has a boating license? And his own boat?

Sophie

[laughing] Yeah.

Rosemary

But otherwise it's it's realistic. 

Sophie 

They go to this high school that can rent out an entire private beach with a DJ and catering. What even is this party? They’re… Josh is on his boat. The the girls are doing their like studio sound system concert. There's like random food with whole watermelons, for some reason. They do like a close up shot on this kids plate, and he's got half a watermelon filled with grapes like, what are you doing? Who provided this? Who is this for? 

Jane 

And in a deleted scene they did a banana dance.

Sophie

Right. Yeah.

Jane

But I mean, I guess part of it is explained like, that it is a really fancy rich school because, like, it seems like her royal family members were paying for it, which she seemed to be somewhat unaware of. 

Sophie 

In lieu of having a relationship, I'll just like send my child to private school and buy a Faberge carousel for her bedroom. 

Jane 

Yeah, because of course. 

Sophie 

I did really want that though as a child. The little music box thing. And the diary that opens with the locket. That was the coolest. 

Jane 

That is really cool. I also think it's funny though, because like the books like the whole conceit of the books is that they are her Diaries, like she's writing them, and in the movie she doesn't even get the diary until the end. 

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary 

Well, you know, but OK, so books that are turned into movies. Generally, I'm like, the book is better. Why do we even have the movie? The movie tried, but it didn't do anything. And I feel very differently about this. I…love Princess Diaries as a movie and I love the book series and they are two very different things. 

Sophie 

Completely separate entities. 

Rosemary 

Yeah. And also all I want in the world is like a miniseries that takes place in the early 2000s in New York, where the books take place and shows these teenagers in the early 2000s, actually doing what the books are and like, have it be really good. And I would pay a lot of money to see that. So whatever major streaming service is listening to this, I would love that and to have actually have the main grandma and the dad who's alive and justice for Tina Hakim Baba. 

Sophie

God bless!

Rosemary 

Because we love her and she needs her moment. 

Sophie 

She sure does. 

Rosemary 

So I would love that. 

Sophie 

Yeah. Well, I I volunteer to to write it. I I I will be in the writers’ room once the strike is over, but with the caveat that it can't be gritty. Like they can't, it can't be dark. There can't be, like, you know, we're all really depressed and sneaking around and like, it has to be as like sweet, but a little more aged up than what the movie was. 

Rosemary

Yes.

Jane 

Yeah, cause I do definitely feel like the movie is for a younger audience than the books. 

Rosemary

Mm-hmm.

Sophie 

Yeah, which is weird because I'm sure that I started reading them when I was like 7 years old and she's talking about, like, getting her period at the Moscovitz's house and like wanting to make out with someone at Lilly's bat mitzvah. And I was like, what is what is this? 

Rosemary 

And then there's that, like, weird stalker man that like is stalking Lilly and wants to see her feet, and…

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

But like, I loved that series so much. Reading those books like, really got me into, like, YA realistic fiction? Realistic. We're going with that again.

[Jane and Sophie laugh]

Rosemary

But like I was obsessed with, like, YA books all through, like middle and high school. And I think it really did start with Princess Diaries. And I was always, like, so excited when a new one came out and would like just devour it. Like even like last year when the…or earlier this year? I don't know. When Quarantine Princess came out, I was like, We have a new one. We still need more of this story. 

Jane 

How many books are there now? I mean, I guess there's some that aren't, like technically part of that series and…

Rosemary 

Yeah. So there's ten that encapsulate her, like high school years, and then there's like a few extra ones that go in there that are like little short ones. And then there's the one I think it's like her wedding, maybe? Yes, that one came out, I think maybe in, like, 2015-ish. And then there's Quarantine Princess, which came out like in blog format in 2020 and then got like compiled and more things added to it and came out like within the last year. So Mia is still around. She survived COVID. 

Jane 

And there's the spin off ones about her half-sister, right? 

Rosemary 

Yes. Yeah. So then… I think around the same time that that the one that came out in 2015 that I can't remember the name at this moment, Meg Cabot also made like a middle grade series that there's a younger half-sister that came into the picture. And so she has her diaries as well. So there's like, supplemental content there. And I I read the first one. And it was very sweet and good, but I don't think I read any of the other ones. 

Sophie 

I just found out about that. So that's all new to me, but I did... I did love the little like Princess Diaries and a half, much like The Lion King 1 1/2 I think is the best Lion King. I think some of the Princess Diaries and 1/2 are my favorites. I think the only one that I actually had was the one where she and Michael do Habitat for Humanity together. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, I was gonna say, I was like, isn't there one where they, like, build houses together or something?

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

Yes. And then there's like a Christmas one too, I think. 

Sophie 

OK. And then that's probably why I didn't have that one.

Jane 

Being Jewish. 

Sophie 

Yeah because they needed like Lilly’s Hanukkah or whatever. And then I also had, I don't know if you know about these, there's one like companion book written I think by Clarisse. And then there's one written by Paolo and they're like… It's essentially The Care and Keeping of You, but the care and keeping of a princess?

Rosemary

Mm-hmm.

Sophie

And so Clarisse's one is like etiquette. All these etiquette rules for like dining at a fancy party. And then Paolo’s is like, how to, you know, do hair and makeup and stuff. And I love those. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, I remember reading those too. Is that when they talk about the cousin Sebastiano that like, doesn't finish his words and then he's like, “Please pass the butt.”

Sophie

[laughing] Probably. 

Jane 

I remember that character. 

Sophie 

Don't be like him and say “Pass the butt” at dinner, especially when meeting with heads of state. 

Rosemary 

So there's a lot of Princess Diaries content is what… what we can sum up this conversation with.

Jane

Definitely.

Rosemary

And all of it is good.

Sophie

Yeah. 

Jane 

I feel like, I mean, I know you were, like, way more into the books than I was.

Rosemary

Mm-hmm.

Jane

But I I feel like we read some of them together.

Rosemary

I’m sure we did.

Jane

Like you'd already read them. But like, we used to read stuff out loud to each other a lot. So I think that that was one of the things, at least… cause I remember really liking the third book, and now I'm like, I have no idea what even happens in the third book.

Rosemary 

The third book is the best. It’s really good. 

Sophie 

If that's the one with the non-denominational winter formal, that's I totally agree. 

Rosemary 

And that's when Michael makes a computer program to tell her that he loves her. 

Jane 

Oh yeah, okay.

Rosemary 

I would read that little section like over and over and over again, and I would be like, if only someone would love me enough to make a computer program that says- 

Sophie 

Aww, to code for you. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, and it says, like, “I love Princess Mia.” And then she, like, gets up and runs away because she's like, all embarrassed. And then she's like, later they talk and she's like, “I thought you were making fun of me,” and he's like, “Never.”

Sophie 

Aww, what a sweetie. I I love Michael. 

Rosemary 

I love Michael too. 

Sophie 

I think casting for him was great. He's so freaking weird in the movie and I love it in the scene where he's he's like still kind of mad at Mia and he comes over to the house. And she, like, gives him the last check for the car. He puts in it between his teeth as he walks out of the door. 

Jane 

Yeah, for no reason. 

Sophie 

He has nothing in his hands. What is wrong with him? I love him. 

Rosemary 

But he's also really weird in the books too. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah, it worked. 

Rosemary 

“He fixes cars, he plays guitar,”

Rosemary and Sophie 

“and he can sing. He is so hot.” 

Jane 

“He is wicked sweet.” I think the person who said “he is wicked sweet” is the infamous cousin Meredith, who was Anne Hathaway's like… I don't know if she was technically her guardian. She was only a few years older than her. But like, I think that Anne Hathaway was still 17 when they started filming. But she was… she turned 18 during filming and that was… helpful to the filmmakers, because then she could work longer. But she was such a baby!

Sophie 

I know. Oh, she's so cute. 

Rosemary 

No, I've always loved Michael. I think he's a great character. He's a great person. He invented a robotic surgical arm in the books that, like, does heart surgery. 

Sophie 

Yeah, he's- I mean, he was… He's great. I… like I also I really get it as like someone who had – had? has - an older brother who, like all my friends were like, “Wow your brother's actually kind of hot.” And I'm over here, like Lilly, being like, what are you talking about? Are you blind? Because I live with the guy. But yeah, I definitely related to their to their family, as like neurotic Jews, just hanging out. 

Jane 

I think it's really funny how, like the moment at when they're like about to dance and at the ball at the end and and Mia doesn't know if Michael's going to show up or not and then he comes in. He like comes through the crowd and he passes Lilly and he like tickles her or something. It's like they have a weird little sibling moment there before he goes to dance with Mia and it's just like- 

Rosemary 

I knew you were gonna bring that up because I think of it every time, Jane’s just like, “It's so weird when he tickles her stomach!” 

Jane 

It is weird, but it's it's like, a good kind of weird. Of like like I think that too often, again going back to the whole like, romance versus other relationships thing. I think that that too often in romantic stories, it's like, they kind of forget about how everybody, how they're connected to everybody else once the like two get together. And I think that it's nice that their friends are there too. Like that, that Lilly and Jeremiah are also there and like it's showing that that it's like they're all connected and it's not just this. And that like Lilly is really the one who pushes Mia to to realize what being a princess could mean and how that could be a good thing and like a responsibility. 

Sophie 

Yeah. And I I also, I would agree with you, Jane, that it's weird. I think it's, maybe not on purpose, but like that is a very like, at least in my experience like my brother would do that too, and it would be very awkward, but he would like mean it in a loving way.

Jane

Right.

Sophie

He just doesn't know what else to do. 

Jane 

Yeah. No. And I I think that's great. I mean it's it's weird but, like, I I love that I love all the little weird things that happen. That's a big part of why I love this movie. There's so many weird little moments that you just kind of like, why is that there? But also I love it. I mean, just the whole thing with like when she breaks the statue, and puts the- 

Rosemary 

“Maybe it's string cheese.” 

Jane 

Yeah, exactly! She puts the finger in the mouth of the statue and and that scene is really funny too. I love when she breaks it and she immediately like shushes the statue. Like, “Don't tell anyone that I broke you.” And then like, she just sticks it in there and it's just like kind of a throwaway thing. And then it comes back in the best way. “They're famous for their cheese. Maybe it's string cheese,” and it's just, ah, it's so good. But like that, that serves no purpose, but it's hilarious. 

Rosemary 

Also, how did she break that statue? Like isn't it made out of like marble? Like…

Sophie 

Right. 

Rosemary 

That she would just like touch it and it would break? Like what? What is that statue made out of? 

Jane 

That was an untapped part of the story that she also has super strength. But just like nobody- that's why she always falls down and stuff like she does. She can't really control her own strength. 

Sophie 

Yeah, gravity is too strong. 

Rosemary 

They would be like, “We can't put that in there because then it would not be realistic.” 

Jane 

[laughs] But we'll have hints for it anyway. Ah man. 

Sophie 

Yeah, and and that her first idea is to reattach it with saliva. Like, that's good work. 

Jane 

[laughing] Uh, I love it. I love it so much. Just like fun moments like that is really, I think what makes it such an enjoyable movie, because like just, there's stuff that still makes me laugh when I've seen it more than 30 times.

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

Just like…

Rosemary

“Please don't crush my soy nuts.”

Jane

“Your soy nuts are safe.” Ohh man. Yeah, just so many great moments. And I mean, I do enjoy the movie Princess Diaries 2, but it just like has nothing to do with anything. I feel like it's so weird that they just like went ahead and made it even though the guy who played Michael couldn't be in it and they’re just like, “Well, Michael's not important anymore.”

Sophie

Yeah. 

Rosemary 

The fact that they made them break- “Oh, we're still friends, but we're broken up. And now I'm going to like, go fall in love with someone else.” That is not Mia Thermopolis. She is obsessed with Michael. She's in love with Michael. I don't care. Book, movie, whatever. It's fine. Princess Diaries 2 is fine as a movie, but it's a totally different universe. One where Raven is randomly there. And there's mattress surfing. 

Sophie 

A an African Princess.

Rosemary

Yeah. It’s just-

Sophie

Like, get someone from Africa! I mean, she's American. 

Jane 

Like, is she an African prin-? Like it's we don't know who she is, she's not explained. It's just like she shows up and and Mia’s like, “Oh it’s you!”

Sophie

“It’s my best friend!”

Jane

And it's like, who is this? We've never seen her before. Please introduce her to the audience! 

Sophie 

I do. I do wonder if at the end of the first movie they like on the plane to Genovia they enter some sort of like slipstream wormhole situation and just like land in another universe. And that's why everything is crazy in the second movie. 

Jane 

The castle that they see out the airplane window is completely different in the second movie. 

Sophie 

I do love it, in like a very campy removed from book and first movie reality way. But yeah it's it's not like… It's not the first one. 

Jane 

No, and it has a terrible script, like so many of the lines are so forced, and it's like, man, these actors were working really hard to sell this.

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

Like, certain certain moments just, like, don't work at all. There are funny lines in the second one, but I just think the the first one… And I know that like a lot of the script of this movie was changed by Garry Marshall like while they were filming it. They talked about that in - oh, I should mention the commentary, because, while this commentary is not quite as iconic as Ella Enchanted I do… I have seen this a lot of times with the commentary with Julie Andrews and Anne Hathaway having tea and Julie Andrews mostly just wants to talk about the tea, like the literal tea, not like spilling the metaphorical tea of the movie. She's just very excited about having tea. But Anne Hathaway, like, remembers the names of everybody and is, like, wants to give everybody credit for everything. But they talk a lot about how Garry Marshall would expect them to be, like, ready with the lines, but also ready to just like, chuck the entire script out on the day and be like, “No, actually now we're going to do it this way and say completely different lines.” And so a lot of it I think was… not exactly improvised, but sort of changed last minute, and if you watch other Garry Marshall movies, you can see that there's just so many things that he just likes to have in his movies that don't have anything to do with anything. And I think that's part of what makes this movie weird. And it's part of what makes it work too. I think that it feels more cohesive because it's so… there's the Garry Marshall trademark through it all. And that he had his children work on it and gave it sort of a family feel, I think really worked for this one. 

Sophie 

Yeah. Rosemary, I was saying to Jane that I need nepotism justice for Penny, because Penny is the only Marshall member that is not in this movie. And he mentioned in… I can't remember if it's the commentaries or like, one of the special features that he's like, “They wanted me to cast Penny as the queen and I said absolutely not.”

[all laugh] 

Jane 

That's got to be a joke, though. I don't think that anyone considered Penny Marshall for the queen, but that would be a hilarious movie. It'd be a very different movie, but it would be hilarious. 

Sophie 

Yeah. Well, Penny Marshall and actually Carrie Fisher in one of my favorite childhood books they did like a star-studded Emperor's New Clothes reading, and Penny Marshall and Carrie Fisher played the ladies in waiting, who are like very bitchy and talk about the queen behind her back. It's fantastic. 

Jane 

That sounds amazing. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, what role could Penny Marshall have played? 

Sophie 

That's a good question. They could have taken out the puppet and had Penny be the puppet instead. On strings. 

Jane 

But they didn't use the puppet thing at all. The person who says “Maybe it's string cheese” I believe is Garry Marshall's wife, so she- Penny could have just been one of those like background people. 

Sophie 

Yeah, she could have been at the state dinner. 

Jane 

She could have been the pear juggler. 

Sophie 

That would have been great. 

Rosemary 

Or one of the reporters.

Jane

Yeah, Suki- What's… Suki Sanchez?

Sophie

Suki Sanchez? Yeah.

Rosemary

No, we don't want to get rid of Suki Sanchez. I mean, one of the ones that were like, “I’m from Teen Scene Magazine!” 

Jane 

Oh yeah. OK. 

Sophie 

“She's wearing a grunge look.” No, she's just wet. 

Jane 

That is so funny. I love that moment. It's like, “She's styling a wet sort of grunge-look hairdo.” It's like yes. 

Rosemary 

“And is wearing a sweatshirt, jeans, and Docs.” 

Jane 

“…jeans and Docs.”

Rosemary 

The important things. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I do, I do appreciate that the Docs are like the one thing that made it from book to movie. Because those are very important. 

Rosemary 

They are her trademark. 

Jane 

They mentioned in the commentary that like originally, that scene was going to be like very regal and she was going to be in her ball gown and stuff and they changed it so that they would have her looking like looking sort of… mot all put together and to show that her confidence was coming from within rather than from external things, but they still gave her a makeover. So like it was still partly external. I mean, OK, the makeover scene… I don't like makeover scenes in movies. There's too many of them. I will say this one is pretty good. Just because Larry Miller is hilarious: his weird like accent, and then his like, fake European language thing is just like-

Rosemary 

“Brushka, Helga!” 

Jane 

Yeah. Like. Yeah, [imitates nonsense phrase]. Like, he just makes up stuff and it's just so silly and that, like his his little things that he says, like her eyebrows are named Frida and Kahlo. And it's like, really weird things. And so it's it's like not bad. But I also kind of wish that she hadn't had to have a makeover, and they could have just, like, left her hair as it was. I know… I know that her makeover is really to make her look more like Anne Hathaway, and she was like- Anne Hathaway had worn a wig and like fake eyebrows and stuff like that in her, like, earlier look. But I think it would have been really interesting to show like a quote unquote “ugly” person not having to change to be conventionally attractive and still being able to be empowered. But like of course, I'm not saying that they shouldn't have cast Anne Hathaway because she's great in this movie.

Sophie

Sure.

Jane

But at the same time, it's like, Anne Hathaway is also very conventionally attractive. So like, it would have been cool to have a like more not conventionally attractive looking person in this role, and just like, let her be who she is and look the way she looks. But that obviously wasn't what this movie was trying to do, but like that is one thing that that bothers me a little bit about it.

Sophie

Yeah. 

Rosemary 

She's also blonde in the books.

Jane

Yes.

Rosemary

Don't they give her a Pixie cut? 

Sophie 

Yeah, they cut- I think that's what Paolo's referencing when he says, “Next time a little shorter.” But yes, there's a very distinct reference in the book where she says her hair looks like an upside down yield sign because it's so it, like, here and then goes straight. You can't see me in the podcast, but I'm gesturing. 

Jane 

Yeah, it's like a triangle hair thing. I remember that being mentioned. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, I think about that a lot. Like,

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

Her yield sign hair.

Sophie 

I feel like part of what makes the makeover scene work  - I I will agree with you, Jane. I think they give her way too much makeup for a 15-year-old, and then they just like the framing of it as like, she started out so hideous and then look what I… look what I made of this mess you gave me - is Paolo's, like you said, he's just so funny. He's so weird and a little gross, but like in an amusing sort of way. And she also seems to be… once they finish plucking her eyebrows, she seems to be really enjoying herself. She's got her Walkman. She's got cucumbers on her eyes. She's like, bopping to the music a little bit. 

Jane 

“The cucumber does nothing.”

Sophie

[laughing] Nothing.

Jane

Yeah, I don't object to it too much. It's just sort of the concept of…of makeovers is a little… 

Speaker 

Sophie

Jane 

Obnoxious to me, but it it works. And I also think it's interesting because I believe from what I remember of the books, when she's exposed to the press in the books, it was actually the grandmother who told the press. And they changed it in the movie so that it was Paolo. 

Sophie 

“I, Paulo Puttanesca!” 

Jane 

That scene, just like, first of all, we also have to talk about Sandra Oh. 

Sophie

Yes!

Rosemary 

I was gonna bring her up too. 

Jane 

She, as the vice principal, Gupta, is so good. She's like only in it a little bit, but every moment she has is perfect. From the from the beginning, when she's like, “Morning, Lilly! …Lilly's friend.”

Sophie

Lilly’s friend!

Jane

And like but that scene when she like answers the phone with her iconic, “Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Queen is coming. To Grove High School.” It's so good. And then and then when the Queen shows up and she's like fawning over her and, like, imitating her gestures and then just like, she, like, gives her this teacup. And it's like, “I'm sorry, we don't have finer China.” And then she just, like, hands a paper cup to Helen, the mom.”

Sophie

Uh-huh. “Here!”

Jane

So good. And then when Joe brings Paolo in and they have their whole little like routine of like he keeps starting to go and Joe, like, pushes him back is- that scene is just… There's just so much comedy gold there. And it's like it's amazing. 

Sophie 

Well, yeah, so Larry Miller is in two of my favorite childhood movies that came out around the same time: this one and Best in Show. 

Jane 

Yeah. And he's also in Mighty Wind. And he-

Sophie

Right.

Jane

He's he sets up one of Jennifer Coolidge's best moments too, when, because he's the one that she has one- They have one brain between them. The two of them, so yes. 

Sophie 

Oh, OK. Yeah. So he just like… The difference between those two roles, but they're both equally funny and weird. 

Jane 

Yeah, yeah. Best in Show he's awful. Like, I mean, I guess he's awful in this too. Like, his character is. But in that one, he's just like openly flirting with a married woman and then his- oh yeah, his job is like to talk people down…

Sophie 

Down off ledges, yes. 

Jane 

…who are going to jump off building, but he's terrible at it. And he's just like, “Oh, they always jump.” 

Sophie 

“Their eyes pop out like grapes!” 

Jane 

[laughs] Ah, he's so he's such a silly man.

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

But yes, so I enjoy him. I enjoy Sandra Oh, a lot. I enjoy Kathleen Marshall. I think that her Charlotte is…

Sophie

So sweet.

Jane

…a very a great character. I also… Not that I want there to be more romances, but I really like the thing between Clarisse and Joe and how they… their dancing scene is kind of… it- it has moments that remind me of The Sound of Music with Christopher Plummer like their dancing scene. But I love when Charlotte comes in and is like about to say something and then sees they’re having a moment and just like backs away.

Sophie

Yep, I’ll go away now. Yeah

Jane

My other favorite Charlotte moment is when [laughs] when she's worried because Mia hasn't shown up at the ball at the end and Clarisse is like, “Is everything all right?” And she goes. “Everything's perfect. Perfect? It's wonderful!” “You're not very good at lying, are you, Charlotte?”

Sophie 

“No I'm not.” 

Jane 

“No, I'm not, your Majesty.” Oh, it's so good. So good. There's just… I think that's ultimately… like, I mean the story overall is great and the acting is great and all that. But like, I think just all those little fun little moments are really what keeps me returning to this movie is it's just like there's so many fun little scenes like that. 

Rosemary 

“And that's enough pear juggling.” 

Jane 

Such a good- like, ah, there's just, yeah. It's just such a fun little movie. 

Sophie 

It's funny, you mentioned the- the dance scene because I was thinking about how… like sweet, that is when he says, “You've been wearing black for far too long.” And in comparison, I had no recollection of this line from Lilly, but she says to Mia, she says, “The guy died, what, two months ago? I thought you'd gotten over it already.” What are you talking about? 

Rosemary 

Her dad died 8 weeks ago and you're like, “You should move on.”

Sophie

Chop chop! 

Jane 

Well, but also, she'd never met her dad. So like…

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

True…

Jane

But also like I feel like that's also not a very long time to mourn your son? Because it's like…

Sophie

Right.

Jane

But I think that her husband died the previous year? 

Sophie 

Yeah, I think he's- I think he's referencing Rupert, not Phillipe. 

Jane 

“King Rupert, may he rest in peace.” 

Sophie 

“Rest in peace.”

Jane 

That's from the second one though. 

Sophie 

I also didn't recall Pierre. I didn't recall there being a brother at all. 

Jane 

Oh yeah. 

Sophie 

Maybe he's not in the book, but… 

Jane 

Is he in the book? 

Sophie 

I don't remember him. 

Jane 

It's really like referenced, sort of offhandedly, like, “Oh yes, my my eldest Pierre wanted to abdicate and join the church.”

Sophie

Yeah

Jane

It's like, you have another kid?

Sophie

What?

Rosemary

Yeah.

Jane

Where's he? That… yeah, that was... I feel like that was kind of unnecessary. 

Sophie 

Yeah, there are a lot of changes that I feel like they really didn't need to make. Like Mr. G in the book is an algebra teacher, Helen’s boyfriend. And now all of a sudden, he's Mr. O'Connell and teaches debate, but also coaches baseball, but also teaches English? 

Rosemary 

Is just always there. 

Jane 

They have like four teachers in the school and they're just all in every class. 

Sophie 

There's Coach Harbula, there’s Vice Principal Gupta, and there's Mr. O'Connell and maybe there's one other person floating around.

Rosemary 

The choir teacher. 

Sophie

Oh, yes. Yes okay.

Jane 

In the scene when when Mia puts the ice cream on Lana and Gupta’s like, “Oh, I was in a very important meeting,” it's just the four of them.

Speaker 

It's just them having lunch. 

Jane 

Like, that's the entire staff of the- of the school. 

Sophie

Of Grove High School.

Rosemary 

“Lana got coned! Lana got coned!” 

Jane 

I was so confused by the “Lana got coned” chant for a long time.

Rosemary

Yes.

Jane

Because I couldn't tell what they were saying. And I was like, is that a thing?

Rosemary

I know!

Jane

Or is that just like, what people would have just decided to call this? 

Sophie 

It's the early 2000s, as opposed to late 2000s equivalent of getting slushied I guess. It's just something that happens in high schools with mean kids. I don't know. I also, speaking of not being able to understand what people are saying, for my entire life until this rewatch, I thought, Fontana said after the debate situation, I thought she said to Mia, “I thought you were speaking at the Believe It convention.” 

Speaker 

OK, I thought that was just me! 

Sophie 

It’s bulimic.

Jane

Yeah!

Sophie

Which makes so much more sense, but I was like… what? Who? What is this? Is this something that I should know about?

Rosemary

Oh, the Believe It? What? 

Jane 

Yeah, that's what I heard too.

Rosemary

No!

Jane

Because she's like, “Is it true you're speaking at the Believe It convention?” and-

Rosemary

No!

Jane

Yeah, okay.

Sophie

Like I can’t believe it.

Rosemary 

It’s definitely “bulimic.” 

Jane 

Well, yes, that does make a lot more sense. But yeah, no, I couldn't understand that for a long time too. OK. I'm glad it's not just me. I thought once I figured out what they were saying, I was like... 

Sophie 

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. 

Jane 

Of course, that's what they're saying, but OK, yes. 

Rosemary 

I was definitely… it was one of the more recent rewatch is when I realized she was saying “a yachting yahoo.” I thought she was just saying “a yada yahoo.” 

Jane 

Ohh yeah, I thought that for at first for a while too. OK. Do you remember? I I have no clue when this was, but we used to have a computer in the basement and it didn't- It wasn't connected to the internet, we just used it for like writing papers and stuff?

Sophie

Typing and stuff, yeah.

Jane

And it would have… we made it so that the screen saver was like word art. And we… it was like, the showers upstairs didn't work, so we would always shower in the basement and we walk by this computer and like every time we would walk by, we would change the screensaver to the next line from that scene when Lilly and Mia are fighting and playing basketball, like that scene. So I just remember, like we would just, we quoted that whole scene in the screen saver on that computer for no reason just because it was a fun thing to do.

Rosemary

Yeah! 

Sophie 

That that very much tracks with what I know of your childhood and your relationship. 

Jane 

Yes. So I still think about that computer whenever I think about that scene.

Sophie

That’s funny.

Jane

But I'm I'm not sure if we wrote “yachting yahoo” or if we wrote, “yada yahoo.” 

Rosemary 

Yeah, I don't know. I also need to mention that I was a youth that kept a diary pretty faithfully, and there is a section of a diary that I had around that time where I was like, “I can't believe I keep saying the word ‘I.’ I should think about other people!” And it was because I was like, inspired by Mia Thermopolis's speech. But it was like, it's so funny. There’s this little section of like 12-year-old me being like, “I need to stop saying ‘I.’” Like it was just a new thought that had occurred to me. 

Sophie 

Sure. That's… that's sad and cute at the same time. 

Jane

Yes.

Rosemary 

So what else do we need to cover? 

Sophie 

Well, I definitely want to mention the soundtrack, which I think is one of my favorite parts of this movie. I think I… I mean, I've seen the movie a zillion times and like, had the VHS and the DVD, but I also had the CD and I must have listened to the CD until it was like, so scratched beyond belief. Every song is so good.

Rosemary

Mm-hmm. 

Jane 

Yeah. I remember we got the CD from the library a few times, but we never owned it. We had the Princess Diaries 2 soundtrack. 

Rosemary

Yeah.

Sophie 

Also good, but not quite as good. 

Jane 

I was just so excited about Julie Andrews singing again. So like… 

Sophie 

Yes. That is my favorite song from the second movie. 

Jane 

Yeah, definitely. Not sure why Raven’s there, but you know, it's still a great song. 

Sophie 

She has to do some sort of hippity hoppity for the youth. They they won't they won't last doing the… just Julie Andrews doing like a musical style number. 

Jane 

“But I don’t know how to do this sort of thing.”

Rosemary [overlapping with Jane]

“I don’t know how to do this.”

[all laugh]

Jane 

Oh man, anyway, but yes, the the soundtrack for the original movie, which is what we're supposed to be talking about, is really good. There's so many great songs on it, and I really I- it's super random, but I really enjoy Mandy Moore singing “Stupid Cupid.” I don't really know why she sings it there in the movie, but like it's great. 

Sophie 

It's a weird song to have in that scene. It's weird that she sings it, but I'm so glad she does. 

Jane 

I also really enjoy that Anna and Fontana are there as backup singers, but their mouths never move. They're just like doing a dance. And like you hear the like background vocals, but they are not singing. 

Sophie 

They're not lip syncing. Yeah, I will say Mandy did not lip sync that scene particularly well. But her outfit is good enough to where it doesn't even matter. Her polka dot skirt is incredible. 

Rosemary 

And the like uni-boob tank top sweater. 

Sophie 

Yeah, the the halter sweater with the handkerchief hem. Oh my gosh, it's very Y2K. 

Rosemary 

It's exactly what I would wear to the beach. 

Sophie 

Sure. And platform flip flops. 

Rosemary 

I also need to confess something that as a child when this movie came out, whatever, I was very confused because I thought that Mandy Moore and Marilyn Monroe were the same person. And so I was so confused because I like knew that Marilyn Monroe… like I wasn't 100% sure who she was, but I knew she was like an icon and that like she was in Princess Diaries, cause it was like an alliterative M name, and I totally like was like, I don't know, it's got to be Marilyn Monroe. And then like… finding out more about Marilyn Monroe as I got older and then I was like…. I don't think that's Marilyn Monroe...

[all laugh] 

Jane 

I think she's very dead. 

Sophie 

I don’t think so. 

Rosemary 

I don't think it's the same person, but I’m not sure. 

Sophie 

It could be, but I'm not quite sure. 

Jane 

That's amazing. 

Rosemary 

But I remember being very confused about Mandy Moore and Marilyn Monroe in that movie. 

Jane 

That's amazing.

Sophie

That’s really cute.

Jane

One thing that I think is really interesting that I didn't quite pick up on until more recent rewatches is like just speaking of the whole beach thing: They're taking pictures of a 15-year-old in a state of undress and publishing them in tabloids. And it's seen as the 15-year-old's fault. 

Sophie

Mm-hmm.

Rosemary 

It's horrible. 

Jane 

It's it's terrible and like it's supposed to be bad. And you're like, supposed to think like, oh, it's- I feel bad for her, but I hadn't quite absorbed how awful that is. And it's like, I mean, that does happen, stuff like that. And it's like it's her fault when it very much was not for several reasons. But I just, it's just like, struck me as so much more disturbing to be like, OK, we're gonna have this undressed teenager that we took pictures of without her consent and blame her for it, and that was upsetting to me when I was just realizing that. But I also think that the scene when Clarisse confronts Mia about that is really well done. I think that they like, hit those emotional beats really well, and just like that, that she's really disappointed in her. But like Mia handles it well. And then I love when Joe comes in and sort of says, like “You were too harsh on her” and that they managed to slip in some levity with her with that moment of, like, “Her friends didn't help- Anna, Banana… Montana.” And I love that. And then that like, that's the moment when Clarisse says, “I have no idea what you're talking about” is great. But I also think it's like such a good point of, like, the thing. About like, “As a queen, I was too critical of the person who could become the next ruler of my country.” And he says, “No. As a grandmother, you were too harsh on your granddaughter.” And then that she takes that into the scene when they're in Mia's house talking about giving the speech or whatever, but she says, like, “I am first and foremost your grandmother.” And then that great moment when she hugs her and then just kind of goes, “Ah! I- I did it! I hugged someone!” is so great because she's been so emotionally distant and yeah. I just, I think that they really like they… they Julie Andrews-ified the queen but they didn't like make her completely like… soft and lovable. I mean, I guess it's kind of Mary Poppins too, where she's like, standoffish, but then also like sweet underneath. 

Rosemary 

But she's definitely not Maria von Trapp. 

Jane 

No.

Sophie

Correct.

Jane

She has to go through a journey too. Like the queen goes through a journey as well as Mia, and they go through very different journeys but kind of meet up at the end. And it's also just really nice that Clarisse still believed that Mia could do it and, like, had a tiara ready for her, even though she said she was going to step down and like… The whole end part of the movie just really pays off and I think that their relationship arc, the grandmother/granddaughter relationship is really… a great central story to this whole thing. Like it's like, yeah, it's about a girl who finds out she's a Princess, but it's also about, like, becoming connected with her estranged grandmother, who also needs some connection in her life. And I think that that's very well done. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I totally agree. 

Jane 

Mia's dad is dead, but we see, like pictures of him and one like flashback and that is Anne Hathaway's actual father. The voice is not. But they were going to use pictures of him, but then the scene with- when he's writing the note in the diary, they were just going to have somebody else wearing a wig to look like his hair, but then he happened to be in San Francisco for unrelated reasons while they were filming there. So they just, like, got him writing the letter. So that's kind of fun. 

Sophie 

That’s so cute. 

Rosemary 

I think another thing that this movie does well is like, adults taking teenagers seriously. 

Jane 

Oh yeah. 

Rosemary 

And like listening to them like… Mia and her mom had, like, real conversations together, and her mom doesn't just like, brush her off and be like, well, you're just a dumb teenager. Like her mom, like takes things to heart. And, you know, when she's like, “How could you lie to me for 15 years? I don't feel protected,” like her mom, like, takes that and it's like, this is where we're at now, and let's see what we can do to move forward. And then again when Mia’s like, “I can't believe you're dating my teacher!” She's like… she actually apologizes to her.

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

And like when even like… the premise of the Mia has to hit a baseball to pass gym class is stupid, but like I even really like that gym teacher because she's just like, “I'm rooting for you.” And like…

Sophie

Yeah, I love Coach Harbula.

Rosemary

Mm-hmm. 

Sophie 

She, like… without like compromising her… like Mia says, “I can't do this. I'm a girl” and she's like... “Hello!”

Jane 

“What am I, a duck?” 

Sophie 

“What am I, a duck?” Yeah. Which is hilarious when in the bonus features, you see that actor make duck noises and various other sound effects, which she's fantastic at. But yeah, she's very supportive while like being like, “You, you got to do this thing. I know it's hard.” Then she does it, and she's so proud of her at the end, which is really nice. And you know, having Josh get hit in the balls is… not a downside in the slightest. 

Jane 

I also think it's really funny that nobody else in the outfield can possibly pick up the ball. Just like, “You have to get up and throw it. We can't come over and find it.” Like I think that’s really funny. 

Sophie 

Well, one kid, one kid is on the phone with his mom about the dentist, so it couldn't be him. And then-

Jane

Bobby Bad.

Sophie

Twelve girls are doing some sort of cheerleading routine, so it couldn't be them. 

Jane 

Why- OK. But also like, why is the entire staff there? Because like Gupta- 

Rosemary 

Mr. O'Connell have picked up the ball. 

Sophie

I know!

Jane 

Yeah. Like, why was he there in the gym class? Why is Gupta coaching the cheerleaders? Like it's just like it's... I don't know. OK, two things that I was gonna say. One thing: going back to the mom relationship. I love when after the like beach fiasco, the mom says like, “My mom always told me not to cry and like to be strong. But you've been hurt. So you just cry.” And like I think that's so great. It's like, yeah, feel your feelings. Let's encourage girls to to feel their feelings and not shame them for being upset when upsetting things happen. And the other thing going way back to when we were talking about why the teacher changes from algebra to the like, debate teacher, because in the books Mia is really bad at math and then like her mom’s dating her math teacher. But I think that it really… it contributed to the arc to have her like, have this fear of public speaking and then like going into being a Princess where like you have to do a lot of public speaking and like that, adding to the reason of like, why not only why she doesn't want to be a Princess, but why she doesn't even want to show up to abdicate the throne. Like she's going to run away to Colorado in a car that doesn't run. That seems like a good plan. 

Rosemary 

Without a driver's license. 

Jane

Yeah.

Sophie 

With the cat! 

Jane 

With the cat, yeah! 

Sophie 

She's gonna take the cat to go rock climbing. And you can tell Fat Louie is like, first of all, this is a terrible idea. Second of all, please do not bring me into this. I want to live in my warm firehouse, OK, with my crazy artist mom. Do not take me to the rocks. 

Jane 

Yes. But anyway. So yeah, I think that that might have been part of why they decided to make the teacher that the mom ends up with be the debate teacher. So they could show that- set it up really early. 

Rosemary 

Yeah, it's definitely like easier to show being bad at debate in a movie than it is to be like “I am bad at algebra.” Like…

Jane

Yeah. 

Sophie 

Well, yeah. And it's, it's also like it's not Mean Girls where she has to solve the equation at the end of the movie for the big finish. It’s like she has to make this speech. 

Rosemary [overlapping]

Make a speech.

Sophie

Right.

Jane 

Yeah, it's like it's not that she's found out she's like inheriting a math thing like, “You… you have… you have to be the head of the math department because of who your father was” or something. It's like, “Oh, no, but I'm bad at math!”

Sophie 

Yeah. That's hilarious. 

Jane 

So yeah, so I think that it works. I do think it's weird that they changed his name but…whatever 

Sophie 

Hmm-hmm. I don't know, maybe there are more Irish people than Italians in San Francisco, which I don't think is true, but- 

Jane 

They changed it to San Francisco just so they could have the scene where she, like, goes down the hill and runs into a trolley. Like, that- which is a great scene, by the way, but like-

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

It's like it doesn't really have anything to do with the story. I guess I guess it shows the queen in action, which it's a little bit of like showing that royalty can get away with stuff that other people can't. But I just think it's just so great to show that the queen can like... 

Sophie 

She's loosening up a little bit. Yeah, I mean, you, first of all, get the nuns calling 911 and they're busy and they say, “For the love of God,” which is hilarious, iconic. Then you get the Order of the Rose and then at the end, she says “Goodbye trolley people.” 

Jane 

And you get the, “Does anybody have a Saber?” “I've got an umbrella!” Which I love. I love, first of all, like, of course, everyone's carrying around a Saber, and then just like “I've got an umbrella” and she's like, “uhh…” “Well, I have an emergency brake!” “This will do nicely,” so great. And then and then I love that the trolley driver and the police officer show up at the ball at the end with little like things like they got an official badge.

Sophie

With their medals, yeah. So cute.

Jane

Yeah, it's like, oh, yes, they- let's make the Order of the Rose a real thing. And, and also Anne Hathaway's “Oh- OH OOOOHHH!” is so well done. Like, every moment of that scene is just great. 

Sophie 

Yeah, 100%. 

Rosemary 

I think going back to adults taking teens seriously and paying attention to them, I think another really good example of that is Joe.

Sophie

Mm-hmm.

Jane

Oh yeah.

Rosemary

And the ways that he, like, pays attention to Mia and like he encourages her, like, when Lilly has a negative reaction to her like getting a makeover. And he's just like, you're going to be OK. And then what we already talked about when he, like, goes… when Clarissa was like, “Was I too hard on her?” and he was like, “Yeah, you were.” I really like the ways that Joe is like a safe adult for her. And like is a really good bodyguard sort of person. 

Sophie 

Yeah, he won't let her take the flags off the limo, but he will quote Eleanor Roosevelt to her and put up the divider screen so she can put on pantyhose in the back seat. 

Jane 

Well, and he won't let her call him Joey. 

Sophie 

Right. But he'll go and buy her high heels. 

Rosemary 

He went and got her the pantyhose and the high heels.

Sophie

Yeah.

Rosemary

And like, he seems like he knows what's going on. Also when he's like, “with the beach friends” and like knowing that they're like, ridiculous and mean to her and like… Yeah, I think... I think that that is another reason why this movie was so like… comforting as a child and teen to watch because you're like, “my problems do matter,” and like “adults do care about teens” kind of thing. I think that there's that sense of it that really makes it a comforting movie and like… I hope that all teenagers have aJoe in their life, or a Clarisse, or a Helen or a Coach Harbula, or Charlotte, or, you know? The way that that Mia has these supportive people in her life that aren't even necessarily related to her. It's a really nice portrayal of that. 

Sophie

Yeah.

Jane

Yeah.

Sophie 

I totally agree. 

Jane 

Anything else that we desperately want to add? I mean, there's so much more that I could say about this movie, but uh, I don't want to just go on and on forever. I think that that that we've covered a lot of the important things about it. 

Sophie 

Maybe we can release our own deleted scenes at some point. 

[Jane and Rosemary laugh]

Sophie 

With puppets.

Rosemary

And bananas?

Sophie

Yes. 

Jane 

The deleted scenes are very interesting. I think that they did a great job of figuring out what to delete and what to keep. 

Rosemary 

A great job of deleting them. 

Sophie

Yes.

Jane 

Yeah. Because a lot of times like you, you see deleted scenes and you're like, “Oh, this could have been in the movie.” I mean, I guess the one I I do think it would have been nice to see Mia and Michael having pizza together.

Sophie

Mm-hmm.

Jane

Because it is a little odd that the pizza is so important at the end, and they've just like kind of mentioned it once in a throwaway line right before “Wait up. Wait for me! Not you. I don't even know you!” which is amazing and I love it so much. We haven't talked enough about Lilly I don't think. But she is a great character.

Sophie

Mm-hmm.

Jane

I feel like very often in movies where there's like a best friend, the best friend is just kind of there to like be a sidekick and I think Lilly Moskovitz is no one’s sidekick and she, like, is doing her best to make a difference in the world. And then, like finds out that her friend actually might have the means to really make a difference. And like, calls her out when she's like, “Yeah, you absolutely can do this.” But she's like Lilly's not perfect. Like, she gets really jealous of Mia. And so I think that that she's a very complex character. And I really like the way that she's portrayed. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I think if we were talking about the second movie we could say more because I think Lilly is a more active participant in the sequel, but we do get the great scene of her trying to vamp while she has Jeremiah on Shut Up and Listen. And you know that is one of the major conflicts is like Mia’s ditching all her friends for this, you know, popularity that she thinks she wants and then it turns out that that's not actually what's going to make her happy. 

Jane 

It's so wild to me that she doesn't even tell Lilly that she's going on a date with Josh. Like it… it seems like that would be something that you would tell your best friend, even if you forgot that you were supposed to be doing something with them. It's almost like, did Mia forget? Or was she, like, intentionally avoiding her because she- I mean, I know there was the whole thing earlier in the film when when Lilly's like, “Jerk and jerkette sighting” and like, Lilly does never like Josh, so I guess that could have been part of it too, but it's like at least she tells Michael that she's not showing up for their date, whereas like she doesn't even tell Lilly she's not going to be on her show. 

Sophie 

Yeah, I do think there could have been some sort of mention like “I can't tell Lilly what I'm doing because she's gonna judge me and like, she's gonna be even more mad if I, you know, tell her I'm I'm going to the party with Josh than if I just, like, didn't show up.” But…

Jane 

Yeah, but she doesn't even… it's like she forgot about Lilly completely.

Sophie 

Right. 

Jane 

Like it's like I'm not thinking about Lilly at all. And it's like… interesting to show her kind of starting to go off into this direction of like, “I'm going to be a mean popular kid” and then just like, totally failing at it and being like, “You know, that wasn't me. I totally messed up.” The movie does a good job of showing you how to take responsibility for when you mess up and then like showing, but you don't have to take responsibility for everything. Cause like not all the stuff that happened at the beach was Mia's fault, and it's portrayed as unreasonable that like people get so upset at her about that, but also like some of the stuff she did was bad, like she ditched her best friend and like showing her take responsibility for that, apologize, try and make amends for both Lilly and Michael, I I think I just think that's done really well. And I think that that's a good message to be giving to kids of like, you do need to take responsibility for the stuff that is your fault. 

Sophie 

And when she does apologize, she never like demands that she be forgiven. Like she says to Lilly on the roof, she's like, “I hope you can forgive me.”

Jane

Mm-hmm.

Sophie

She doesn't like expect that that's automatically going to come just because she said she's sorry, which I think is really cool. 

Jane 

Yeah and I love Lilly’s response of, “But what will I wear?” And she's just like, “Oh, I'm so glad you're gonna come!” And it's it's just a really sweet moment. 

Sophie 

And I will, I will say when she hugs Lilly after Lilly says she's going to come to the party, her foot does pop. 

Jane 

Yes it does. I I noted that as well. 

Sophie 

So it's not just, it's not just a romantic thing. It's for any kind of love. 

Jane 

Yeah. And again, that's… what I do really like about this movie is that they focus on a lot of different kinds of love, a lot of different deep relationships with different people, and I think they do a really good job of developing many of them and that's really great. 

Sophie 

I love this movie. 

Jane 

Ah, me too. 

Rosemary 

I do too. Well, thanks for… thanks for having me on to talk about it again. 

Jane 

Yes, I'm so glad to have both of you back. 

Sophie 

I'm so glad we got to talk about it. The three of us, that was fun. 

Jane 

Yes! So uh… thank you so much for being here and I… don't know how to wrap this up. 

Rosemary 

Miracles happen.

Sophie

“Thank you for being here today.” 

Jane 

“Thank you for being here today.” Yes. Oh, that's another great moment that I must mention when Joe is, like, so committed to pretending to drive the car that he even like puts the parking brake on before getting up. So great. Anyway, “thank you for being here today.” I love this movie. I love both of you and I'm so glad that we did this. 

Sophie

Me too.

Rosemary  

“Goodbye trolley people!”

[all laugh] 

Jane 

Ah, that was so fun. Thank you to Sophie and Rosemary for that lovely chat, and thank you audience for listening! This will be my final guest episode; my top six are so personal that it feels right to just talk about them myself. The next two episodes will be the final tie on my list, featuring the two movies that I watched 31 times. Coincidentally, one of them is the oldest movie in my entire top 40, and the other is the newest. The newest movie is also the shortest movie on the list, so I’ll be talking about that first. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “First off, I work alone. Always have, always will. Second, take a hike. I don’t touch Hollywood cases. Not since… The War.”

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Guide: 2x15 Tall Tales, Part 1

Spoilers up to 5x08 Changing Channels

This is Supernatural’s second attempt at a ‘comedic’ episode, with 1x17 Hell House being the first. However, given the fact it is a fan favourite and one which many will tell you is hilarious, it may surprise you to learn that it only tickled my funny-bone once or twice. In stark contrast to its intention as amusing, I once again came away from this episode unsettled by the fact that sexual assault of men and boys can be played for laughs so blatantly. I will leave discussion of that for part 2 of this analysis because it will get heavy and unpleasant. Expect discussion of male victims of rape and sexual violence in the context of Supernatural, The Boys, other television shows, and in real life. I will keep the age rating at 15.

First things first: this is once again an episode where a lot is told in retrospect, but unlike 1x06 Skin and 2x12 Nightshifter this does more than tease the viewer with an event in the cold open then wind back the clock 24 hours. Rather this episode lives up to its apt title Tall Tales by having Dean and Sam relate much of the events to Bobby, but their versions of events differ and feature much exaggeration to the point where the viewer is left uncertain exactly what to believe. Men are dying or being repeatedly raped in scenarios taken straight from urban legends: sewergators, alien abduction, and haunted university buildings. The culprit behind this is a figure named The Trickster, who will later be revealed as Archangel Gabriel and Loki’s doppelgänger.

Regarding the overall plot of the show, 2x15 Tall Tales does not do much except introduce Gabriel, though it will be a further 60-something episodes until the viewer learns who ‘The Trickster’ really is. In fact, it has been a fair while since the show had a plot-centric episode and any steam built up has long since dissipated. 22 episodes per year seems long nowadays with the popularity of Game of Thrones and even The Walking Dead, which pack more plot and story into 10-16 episodes than Supernatural does into 22 (except the lamentable mess that is The Walking Dead series 2). The downside of its length, therefore, is the diluted, thinly-spread nature of its storytelling. A fair amount was packed into Supernatural 2x01-2x10, but most of that was related to developing character motivations and themes and included a lot of monster-of-the-week episodes. Of course it is fun to see the characters doing side-quests but I need more story to keep the momentum going. Azazel has plans, but he is taking his sweet time bringing them to fruition and in the meanwhile the brothers are not doing anything to try to discover or foil his plots.

Compare this, if you will, to the conflict between the Scooby Gang and Angel, Spike and Drusilla in Buffy series 2, where the build-up and conflict take centre stage for a lot of the 22 episodes. The conflict even takes the lives of very important characters when least expected, so the threat is always present and threatening. In Supernatural, by contrast, I do not really care about whatever is happening to Sam or what Azazel is plotting because it plays little role. I care that Dean is so broken up with grief and the fear of having to kill his brother, but if this were a novel I would be getting frustrated, and I read ALL of Wise Man’s Fear.

This episode continues Supernatural’s love affair with Neil Gaiman which started in 1x11 Scarecrow. Some people love this but Neverwhere bored me and I could not get past page 200 of American Gods. Coraline, Stardust, and The Graveyard Book pleased me but his stories involving ‘gods’ feel anhedonic and banal to me. I get that some people enjoyed having gods be part of a story with mortals in this manner, but I have little interest in a Norse deity (and it is frequently a Norse deity because they are in vogue) reduced to a man in a suit on an aeroplane, or a figure with the oh-so-clever name of Low Key Lyesmith.

A character who is a deity should act like a deity, not your average Tom, Dick or Harry. If the writer puts no effort into making the characters godlike, the divinity essentially stops being a divinity and becomes any other character. They become banal and dull, with their divinity reduced to a gimmick.

Having said that, it can be done exceedingly well. It is likely not to everybody’s taste, but Joanne M. Harris won a place on my list of favourite authors with her books The Gospel of Loki, Runemarks, Runelights, and The Testament of Loki. Her versions of the Norse gods are very true to the Eddic sources, but with her own spin and flair added for good measure. And it is a VERY good measure; her Norse gods rub shoulders with mortals, but they are not shopworn characters who are gods in name only. Whereas American Gods and Supernatural tear their deities from their mythological context and thereby remove the flavour and character (is Odin still Odin with no Valhalla, Fenrir, or Einherjar?), The Gospel of Loki etc mostly preserve the mythological context and have gods as characters who actually are gods.

Buffy and Angel toyed with gods as characters as well, but whether these gods were actual deities or simply apex demons so powerful and influential their minions believed them to be gods is left unclear. The Celtic mother goddess Danu brought water to the world, and Ogmios the psychopomp escorts the dead to the Otherworld. Lugus is god of the sun and creator of all arts, but whether Glory and Illyria in Buffy and Angelhad either any hand in creating their respective worlds or were close kin of creatures who did is never specified. For that reason, Illyria and Glory work for me where American Gods and Supernatural’s deities do not.

Because actual ‘gods’ being portrayed as only slightly more supernatural than the average monster is not to my tastes, I did not like this episode as much as the general fan base appears to.

Episode 2x15 Tall Tales starts with Dean being a complete douche and irritating the hell out of Sam by listening to music on the radio and eating chicken noisily on the hotel bed. Sam is trying to do research with paper and books because somebody Sam assumes was Dean stole his laptop. Sam’s justification for assuming his brother was to blame was that Dean was supposedly the only other person with access to the room: the door was locked and the hotel does not have chamber maids, supposedly. One has to stop and wonder whether Sam has actually learnt anything at all over the last 37 episodes because any kind of monster or ghost could have crept into their room through an air vent or a window, as could any of the seedy people staying in the seedy hotel have picked their lock and sneaked into their room.

In Sam’s defence (what’s that, me calling Dean a douche and defending Sam?) they have pulled silly pranks on each other in the past, but why would Dean have hidden a vital tool like the laptop? Knowing Sam as I do, it looked very much like wanting a reason to metaphorically kick Dean and seizing the opportunity to do so. His later statement that ‘...I’ve put up with a lot from you, Dean’ gasted my flabbers: I can see that Sam believes that and he clearly has a lot of resentment, anger, and other whiny, self-centred complaints festering, but do let us remember that Dean’s fiendish japes and comments about Sam’s girly hair do not in any way compare to e.g. Sam threatening and almost getting Dean killed in 2x10 Hunted, for example. He really has no right to bitching about ‘putting up with a lot’, so go on Dean: keep being a douche. Sam deserves nothing less than your douchebaggery.

Bobby soon turns up at the door, at once both welcome and unwelcome. As I said when he was introduced in 1x22 Devil’s Trap, I have much more time for him than I do John and I can tell he actually cares for Dean and Sam (if I remember, he even called Dean his favourite at some point), but his crochety attitude grates against me. For one thing, I do not appreciate the 27 and 23 year old protagonists of my story being treated like little boys by a character who has only just been introduced (looking at you, mega-bish Missouri), and for another it gets old fast. On my first watch of this show, I cared little for him and I still do not especially care.

On the other hand, Dean and Sam need more than just Dean and Sam. I love Dean to bits and I would watch Dean eating a sandwich for 40 minutes every week, but I hate their co-dependant abused / narcissistic abuser dynamic with a passion. Judging by the huge drop off in viewership in series 7 when Sera Gamble tried to kill Castiel off, so did a huge part of the audience. Some friends who are just now watching the show for the first time: they have just reached 2x05 Simon Said and have noted that because there is just Dean and Sam, there is little for the writers to do in order to introduce conflict than have Dean and Sam argue. Often there is no apparent need for them to argue and it gets tedious. The show needs more, but even with the eventual introduction of Castiel the show still had to be about the brothers, no matter how much Sam hates Dean or how suffocated Dean is.

Back to Bobby, he sits and listens to Dean and Sam tell their stories, their versions differing in small details usually with the intent of mocking the other. I believe this is the aspect of the episode which people find funny, because men in their mid twenties acting like preteens is amusing or something. Maybe if I were watching this once a week as a casual viewer and not really paying attention it would amuse me more, but the fact the episode uses sexual assault against a man for laughs puts a dampener on the whole experience. If that makes me a buzzkill, then I suppose your buzz deserves to be killed. Whatever the case, Bobby soon works out that a Trickster is behind everything.

You might remember long long ago in the first paragraph that I mentioned the episode tickling my funny-bone once or twice: both occasions were very early on. The first occasion was when Dean’s date said that looking at him was like staring into the sun, and the second came right on the heels of that moment as Sam interrupted him. Dean’s version of Sam is not too much of an exaggeration which is what made it so funny. Jared chose to do the prissy, sissy fag act with effete body language and pursed lips which is not how I see Sam, but other than that his nagging and blah blah blah were pretty accurate to how much of Sam’s whining and bitching sound to me. Sam objected to Dean’s portrayal of him by saying ‘I don’t sound like that, Dean!’ to which Dean replied ‘That’s what you sound like to me” and I must wholeheartedly concur.

Whilst on that subject, this episodes shows and suggests some serious character issues with Sam. On the one hand, he is very concerned with using the proper politically-correct language such as when he corrected Dean for saying ‘Siamese twins’ instead of ‘conjoined twins’, yet he smirked and hid his face from Curtis after finding out Curtis was ‘anal probed’ by aliens. Sam has the proper vocabulary, but like his real life counterpart Eric Kripke (whose writing in e.g The Boys is far less ‘progressive’ than his use of terms like ‘toxic masculinity’ might suggest), Sam is not the ‘sensitive, intelligent’ brother people think he is. More on that in the later discussion, as well as Dean’s reaction.

Further to the point of the brothers’ stories, the young woman whom Dean was drinking with and presumably canvassing for information on the dead professor is very different in both versions. The ‘Starla’ of Dean’s version is a PhD student in folklore and mythology, well-dressed, well-kept, and classy. Dean clearly exaggerated a lot with how into him she was, and his own behaviour in that version induced much cringe, but other than that she was believable. Sam’s ‘Starla’ was much more negative, at least from the perspective of somebody like Sam: much more ‘low rent’ than Dean’s version. Sam seems very quick to perceive Starla as a loose drunk and Dean as a horny slut for being interested in a woman like her… or perhaps the other way around: his estimation of her plummets when he sees she is sexually interested in Dean whom Sam regards as a slut. Yikes. Either way, Sam seems to have an issue with women who enjoy sex.

What the truth is is likely somewhere between, but based on the kind of woman Dean has been seen to pick up and hit on (e.g. the jeweller in 2x12 Nightshifter), I would guess he only exaggerated on his cringy James Bond-smoothness and her staring into the sun line.

The sibling squabbles between Sam and Dean in this episode were also a source of mirth. It was quite droll to see the brothers through each other’s eyes; Dean as the slutty womaniser with no taste and Sam as an uptight ponce who treats Dean like an irritating embarrassment. Both are exaggerations fuelled by irritation, but it’s still an interesting insight into how they see each other.

Not that anybody paying attention needs to be told how they see each other, but the idiots in the cheap seats at the back might not have heard everything. It probably says a lot about how similar Dean’s and my perspectives are that he and I view Sam in pretty much exactly the same way.

Moving swiftly onwards, discussing women who enjoy sex brings the discussion around to the professor in the cold open who the viewer is led to believe engaged in lots of coitus with students. The situation of professor and student inherently implies a power imbalance, though it is never specified whether or not the students he made the beast with two backs with were his students or not. We can assume that a large number likely were since Gabriel saw fit to punish him, but the woman in the cold open appeared to be in her mid twenties and actively pursued the sexual encounter with the professor. Is that how they all happened? I have heard stories of professors being harassed and pursued by students like that, so I wonder, but for the sake of this analysis let us assume that what the show tells and implies is indeed how things happened: the professor abused his position of power in order to procure sex with students in his charge.

The professor is presumably pushed out of his window and slams into the concrete. Note that the professor did not scream as he fell, implying he was already dead before his defenestration. This happened just as janitor!Gabriel was leaving the building for the night, but for some reason Dean and Sam do not think to be suspicious of him when they question him early in the episode. He was the only one there and he found the professor, so he would have likely been one of the police’s suspects at least.

The next two incidents are a professor involved in animal testing getting eaten by a sewer alligator, and a pledge master getting ‘hazed’. Dean is the one to work out that all the men involved were linked by being ‘dicks’ and that what happened to them was ‘poetic justice’. Skipping past the implication that rape is an appropriate punishment which one can ‘deserve’ (Shiban, Kripke, and Gamble: sit on broken glass), it is not long later that Bobby gives them the final push they need to conclude the janitor is a Trickster and the one responsible for everything.

Calling Loki a trickster is not all that accurate however, as Loki is more a liar and agent of Chaos than he is a trickster. He crosses boundaries of sex, sexuality, and gender, is both of the Æsir and of their enemies the Jötunns (anti-gods), and is the sworn enemy of Heimdallr who is an agent of order and guards the borders. I praised Joanne M. Harris’ Loki earlier, but the one thing which grated on me was that her version of Loki just accepted that male-bodied gods were not supposed to engage in intimate relations with other male-bodied beings. Melvin Burgess’s Loki did not have any such inhibitions, but rather enjoyed physical and emotional intimacy with men as much as with women. ...And animals, because how is a human or god any different to a horse for the embodiment of chaos?

Moving on, the episode culminates in Gabriel attempting to win Dean’s favour in a lecture hall (note that Gabriel is All About Dean in this episode) by offering him sex with the two women he conjoured in return for Dean letting Gabriel get away. Contrary to popular belief, Dean does not think with his penis and refuses Gabriel’s offer. Dean cannot let Gabriel go, and as Dean says this Sam and Bobby appear. A fight ensues in which Dean in particular suffers some serious whumpage (inflicted mostly by the scantily-clad Bond women, implying I am supposed to laugh).

Dean manages to eventually stake Gabriel and kill him, whereupon he and the others book it before somebody finds Gabriel’s body. Sam almost apologises to Dean before getting into the car (inappropriate timing, Sam, but points for trying), and then Bobby annoys me a bit with more of his unearnt crochitiness. Right at the end it is revealed that Gabriel is still alive and that the one Dean thought he killed was only an illusion.

I have never been a big fan of Gabriel in this show. His next episode is another fan favourite which is supposedly hilarious, but he kept Sam in an endless Groundhog Day where he had to watch Dean dying over and over again. I understand that a show like Supernatural has to replace blood and guts with exaggerated ridiculousness, wherefore Dean’s endless deaths, but for some reason I am not able to laugh. This might be one of those normal people things which I am too neurodivergent to understand. Is this one of those déjá thingies?

Anyway, Gabriel locks Sam into watching his brother die to teach him a lesson, and depending on how we understand the mechanics of Gabriel’s ’magic’, kills Dean over and over again. The first death does not amuse me and not just because I do not like seeing Dean die: I actually watched an 11 year old boy get run over after school one day in 2004. Something went right under the wheels and luckily I cannot remember whether it was him or just his schoolbag. Either way, I do clearly remember noticing the seat of his trousers had ripped and my 13 year old brain latched onto that because it was easier to deal with than the fact an 11 year old boy was dying at my feet. His funeral was thrown open to the whole school, and some people went just to have a day off school. This song was played at his funeral and I remember it every time I hear this song:

So no, not a single one of Dean’s deaths in that episode amuse me, and no I do not give a fig about killing your buzz. I also do not like Gabriel much, but I like him as an antagonist and loose cannon. Far more enjoyable than bloody Lucifer.

That almost does it for part one. Generally speaking a good episode, though it would not rank anywhere near my list of favourites. One issue I have is that The Show does not allow Sam to be made fun of in anything like the way Dean is. As Paula R. Stiles noted, Dean is ridiculed and exaggerated a lot in this episode, but other than two incidents he is just regular Sam. I have heard tell of Jared’s complaints and insistence that his character not be made fun of, and I believe it might well have been around this time in the show that he – if I have heard correctly – got angry about where Sam’s story was taking him, and tried to start a fight with Jensen on set. Whether or not this is true, I cannot say for sure (though both Jensen and Jared have referred to an incident when Jared stormed off set to sit alone in his trailer and Jensen shortly joined him and talked to him), but whatever the case may be, a noticeable disparity is evident.

Whilst on the subject of disparities, the ‘dicks’ are almost all men in this show, infrequently women. Paula R. Stiles raised the point in her discussion of Jo in 2x06 No Exit that women do not like being portrayed as the dumbass, cocky tomboy any more than men like being portrayed as useless, lazy, stupid slobs. The former is bad representation and so is the latter, but the difference is that the former is met with resistance in modern popular culture whereas the latter is actively encouraged and criticism of it is met with distinctly anti-male scorn. In a show where almost all on-screen, violent, bloody deaths are men who die as horror-fodder while women are usually killed off-screen or saved at the last minute, here is an episode where all the ‘dicks’ are men and sexual assault against men is played for laughs. Usually when I point this out it falls on deaf ears, but if I can point out some of the writers’ homophobia, the incredibly high death rate of black men, the missed opportunities for Native American inclusion and representation, and the bad writing of female characters like Jo, why do people seem so unwilling to listen when I point this out? Why do they insist I am wrong, and why do they so quickly change the subject to women talking in board rooms? I have a very good idea why this is the case, as I will discuss in the section about male victims of sexual violence.

One final point before closing part one: some have taken issue with the presence of Busty Asian Beauties. The thinking is that Asian women (here in the US meaning of East and Southeastern Asian, excluding the Indian subcontinent and Western Asia) are almost not represented at all in the show, with Mrs Tran and Dagon being the only two notable examples. It does not look good for them to be mostly represented in the form of a porn site and magazine.

Having grown up on the other side of the Atlantic from the American context, I never understood Busty Asian Beauties as anything more than a joke about how randomly specific it was, similar to Jack’s one-legged Parisian prostitute in Titanic.

Perhaps the experience is different for North Americans, but any ‘racist’ connotations were completely lost on me. Some have even gone a little further and said that Dean himself is racist for ‘fetishising’ Asian women and being interested in Asian women specifically. To be quite honest that sounds like a load of American bullcrap. Other than it being an exaggeration of Dean’s interest for online rage fuel, I wonder whether my enjoyment of Ripped Nordic Blonds or Girthy Celtic Hotties would also be considered a racist fetishisation. The issue as I see it is the poor representation, not Dean’s interest.

Note once again that it Dean who is both given a bit more depth with stuff like this, and the one who is the butt of the joke. Never Sam.

Thus concludeth part one. Part two will follow later this week.

[bacta-the-future]

15 Questions, 15 mutuals

Thanks for the tag, @clonemedickix

Were you named after anyone?

Nope! Although my mom did tell me that there was a really nice classmate of hers in high school that was named Erin :) my name was decided upon between my birth mother and my adoptive parents though which is cool that all of them played a part in naming me!

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday…I watched Plan 99 again!

Do you have kids?

I don’t have any crotch goblins but I do have two dogs and a cat! A three and a half year old Keeshond named Denver, a seven month old pomsky puppy named Duluth, and a four year old calico cat named Amber!

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What a random question lol but yes

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Probably how much eye contact they’re making so I can try and match their intensity and I try to get a good read on their facial expressions, I like to see how they smile!

What’s your eye color?

My eyes are a bright blue color!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings for sure, I hate scary movies!

Any special talents?

I used to play the piano, but I haven’t done that much since I moved away from my parents’ house and went off to college a hot minute ago

Where were you born?

Minneapolis, Minnesota

What are your hobbies?

Playing video games (ACNH mostly!), reading, writing fics (this is a new hobby of mine), spending time with my dogs, cooking with my fiancé

Do you have any pets?

I guess I technically answered this one lol but to reiterate, yes I have two dogs and a cat!

What sports do/have you played?

I never really got into sports, I’m not really athletically inclined. I played soccer and basketball as a young kid, and then the closest I came to sports in high school was by being in marching band lol

How tall are you?

5’5.5” but I usually round up to 5’6” lol

Favorite subject in school?

I always loved science, especially anatomy and physiology! In high school, I took a specialized course in Firefighting and EMS though and that was by far my favorite thing I did in high school—helped me to become a nurse!

Dream job?

I am so tickled that I have my dream job, truly! My dream has changed in the last few years, but I left the Burn Unit behind once I gained my nursing license and I am now a NICU nurse! I wouldn’t trade my job for anything💜

Tags: @apocalyp-tech-a @idontgetanysleep @thattoothpick @lightspringrain @mandos-mind-trick @aeli-tan-art @acourtofsnakes @starqueensthings @mylifeisactuallyamess @staycalmandhugaclone

Please feel free to ignore if you’ve already been tagged/done this challenge before :) xoxo!!