#this has probs been done before but like cmon

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Low Tier Thunder God lmao

[foxsoulart]

Raph and Ali get rescued and Ali gets her name. aka chapter 2

>>>>>>

"Geez, why is it so freezing?"

"I'd give you an answer if I thought you actually wanted an answer"

"FOUND HIM"

"Is that..Shredder's attack cat?"

"Um..guys? They're both really really cold"

"Not good, we hafta warm them up, let's hurry and get them back to the lair"

--

"Awwe, she's so cute! Look at her"

"Mikey-

"Can I keep her?"

"Mikey you can't just keep a mutant"

"Especially not if they're one of the enemy's"

"Leo's got a point, besides we brought her here for questioning not to make friends"

"Good luck with that, Hello Kitty there doesn't do much talking" Raph snorted as he awoke to his brothers bickering. "Raph! You're awake!"

"Uh-huh, and how's your 'hostage' doing?"

"Um...good? She kinda just has been sitting there, quietly." Leo pointed over his shoulder. Raph leaned over to see around him. "So, my brother's annoy you to death yet?"

"No"

All three of his brothers jumped "OMYHOLYCHALUPA! SHE SPOKE"

"not fair We've been trying for ten minutes and she responds instantly to you?" Raph smirked. "Too bad, I tamed her first." "Am I clear to move, Don? I happen to be starving, and I'm sure Hello kitty is too."

"Wait, you wanna feed her?"

"I thought making friends was Mikey's thing not yours"

"Who said anything about friends? I just thought she looked hungry-you know what nevermind I'm just gonna go get food, cmon hello kitty." Raph pushed past his brothers, leaving the medbay and heading for the kitchen. 'Hello kitty' hopped of the cot and followed Raph without a word. "Seriously!? Raph she tried to kill you!" "Then how come you didn't tie her up?!" Raph shot back over his shoulder as he rummaged in the fridge and cupboards. "So we got three options here, rice, noodles, or scrambled eggs, watcha want?" Silence. Then a quiet hesitant voice "Eggs?"

"Eggs it is then" Pulling a fry pan from the cupboard Raph cracked some eggs into it while turning the burner on. "I know I've been calling you Hello kitty, but you've probs got your own name; mind telling me what it is?"

"Name?"

"Yeah, mine's Raphael, most people call me Raph though."

"   prototype   test subject    failure   dissapointment is what called" Raph turned around in disbelief. "None of those are a name, I knew Shredder was a jerk but this is a whole  new level. Erm, how about you choose your own?" A head cock. Great, based on her 'names' she had no say in anything before. "How bout I list some and you pick what you like?"

"I have always thought Elicia to be a beautiful name" "Dad! You gotta stop sneaking up on us" Raph grumbled. "Elicia?" A tail twitch "Ali" Splinter smiled "Ali it is then. Raphael I believe the eggs might be burning" Shell. Raph whirled back to the eggs quickly turning off the burner. "Eugh yeah don't let Raph cook"

"Move over bro, I'll make the food" Raph relinquished the pan to Mikey. "You probably should, scrambled eggs don't seem to be working for me today"

"Raphael why don't you show our guest around while I have a word with your less welcoming brothers"

"Cmon Ali, I wanted to grab something from my room anyway"

--

"There, you should be less cold now, yknow your furs not very insulating is it?"

Raph stepped back from helping her put on one of his extra hoodies. She seemed surprised by this gesture. Examining the hoodie with interest. "Ya like it?"

"Ali likes"

"Good, you can keep it"

Leo appeared in the doorway

"Raph...and Ali, foods done"

~~

Previous Chapter

Next

Summary

[luckyqueenreign]

Did you hear that apparently Ivy is coming back 😭 WHY?! Tbh I never liked her snarky attitude and when I fell for her lie about Roberto in the challenge I literally like sat there in shock that I believed her…

But seriously why bring her back.. it’s literally giving meera 2.0 she’s gonna come back and annoy the hell of out MC - then probs get dumped before the finale. Fb please make more original girls that actual want to be friends with MC!! Atp Bella is the only girl I like - Grace being all delusional about Ozzy like cmon girl. And don’t get me started on Amelia and her “oh yeah i’m so sorry nothing happened!” it’s been multiple times she’s done it now..

Ik i sound so negative but i’m actually really enjoying the season 😭

Bestie yesss and I’m so over it lol!! Whyyy must they keep bringing back islanders we were happy to see leave. Bella is nice but she’s also so deep into the background I barely notice she’s there. I actually feel closer to Grace even tho I’m actively trying to steal her man 🥴 idk what I expected from Amelia but just not this… and I fully believe it’s fbs terrible writing that’s making her and Lewie/Jamal/Ryan seem lowkey shady with their idiotic cliffhangers.

Also I know we say this literally every season but fb needs to do better branching. In challenges, my mc has kissed Ozzy several times, he’s kissed her back in front of everyone to the question of who he fancies the most, he’s pulled away from Grace and she caught us on the roof terrace together having a deep chat. And Ozzy was v flustered by it and she has the audacity to laugh when she’s whining that he might like someone else. We are the most believable choice!! You’ve already caught us in multiple situations! Like why are they making her seem so delusional?

[muwur]

hiii can I request hcs for Bokuto, Oikawa and Kuroo crushing on a shy s/o :3 tyyyy

crushing on a shy s/o

✧ hc’s ✧ for Bokuto, Oikawa & Kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.6k words

a/n: ty for the request ! <33 idk y everytime its like headcanons mixed w scenario frjffgt i hope das ok w yall my definitions of all these intersect too much--

Bokuto

✧ mans sometimes has trouble knowing people’s boundaries

✧ PERO bby is just being himself, we lov a king

✧ I DIGRESS. N E WAYS

✧ when he has a crush, he just wants to give you a lot of attention

✧ your shyness is just an added uwu factor to him, he craves seeing how surprised you get whenever he just so happens to pop up out of nowhere to say hi!

✧ tbh he spotted you from like a mile away and pretended like he needed to go in the same direction just so he could talk to you--

✧ doesn’t hesitate to compliment you! will ask if you did anything different (you: “not really” ) and then always says “you always look great, anyway, no need to change anything!”

✧ invites you to his games, hyping up his team and insisting that if you come, he’ll play even better because of your support

✧ has to control himself from leaping with happiness and giving you a hug when you respond a bit bashfully, agreeing to go like 👉👈 “oh, sure, ill come” bc a cutie just asked you to come watch him play

✧ however, when akaashi mentioned once that Bokuto might be coming on a bit strong for your more timid nature, he tried to tone it down

✧ but then he got sad thinking that maybe he was actually overwhelming or annoying you and he sulked for three and a half days despite akaashi insisting that you probably didn’t feel that way, otherwise you would just avoid him

✧ you noticed recently he’s been acting a bit off, and it made you a bit sad to see him looking upset

✧ so you decided to make a sign for him for his upcoming game!

✧ you lugged it around with you when you entered the gym, backside facing forward to hide what it said

✧ you were a bit self-conscious, to say the least

✧ you got settled on the bleachers and watched the game

✧ but Bokuto rlly seemed out of his element; he missed a few potential points and the other team eventually got in the lead

✧ thinking that he needed a pick-me-up, you held up your large sign overhead sheepishly during a time out, hoping that Bokuto would notice

✧ everyone on the team started to snicker when they read your ��You got this, Bokuto! Go Owls!” and gave suggestive looks to their team captain

✧ he was confused (Bokuto: “why are you all looking at me weirdly??”) until he finally turned around and saw your sign

✧ and fell 10x more in love with you

✧ and now he can die happy

✧ turning back to his team, tears pricking at his eyes, he quietly choked out:

✧ “(Y-Y/n) made that...? F-For me?!?!??”

✧ now that he’s fIRED UP, Fukurodani easily gained back their momentum and won by a landslide

✧ you stood around outside the gym after the game, wanting to congratulate Bokuto and the team but ovERthInkING iT and you were about to chicken out when

✧ “(Y/N)!” a voice called out loudly

✧ and you were met with a crushing hug

✧ never in your life were you more pleasantly surprised and embarrassed at once

✧ Bokuto’s back on his bullshit, always tryna talk and impress you

✧ and everyone wonders why y’all aren’t dating yet cmon just love each other already--

Oikawa

✧ a big tease and a big flirt

✧ never fails to tell you how lovely you look everyday

✧ a bit embarrassed, you’ll always thank him (which he points out is cute, saying there’s no need to be shy)

✧ overall, he’s rlly sweet doe

✧ he was out with his teammates once when he saw you, so he called you over by name

✧ but since you’ve never met any of Oikawa’s teammates, except Iwaizumi, you were a bit hesitant

✧ seeing this, he goes over to you, gently grabbing your arm and pulling you over while reassuring you, “C’mon, I want you to meet my team. I think they’ll like you!”

✧ will introduce you as his friend

✧ however everyone sees through this (except u) and knows boyo wants mor

✧ makes sure to include you in any conversation, asking you for your input

✧ piss Oikawa off

✧ until he rlly does get pissed off and excuses both of you, deciding to just hang out with you because his teammates are meanies

✧ so we may conclude he can be a bit protective

✧ always staring or looking at you, secretly hoping that he catches you looking at him (gets disappointed when once again, no, you were not looking at him)

✧ checks himself in the mirror even MORE now that he has a bit of an infatuation-- (Iwaizumi: *to Oikawa, who is inspecting his face* “you can only do so much to look human, give up”)

✧ politely excuses himself from his horde of fan girls just to talk to you

✧ always trying to find ways to talk to you in hopes you’ll open up more to him and in general

✧ will offer you help even though you obviously do not need any (again, just to talk to you)

✧ and offers you other things he has on himself, like gum

✧ speaking of gum he’ll always have gum or mint on him in general but espeeeeecially if he knows he’ll be around you bc boyo want his breath smelling fiinneee

✧ eventually gets you to be quite comfortable around him (yes!), so you have nice conversations every once in a while

✧ he’s also v considerate and likes gift giving! bought you milk bread from his fav place because he talked about it the other day, and you mentioned you were curious to try it

✧ one time after you told you that you looked pretty, you paid him back with a compliment as well

✧ he got quite flustered himself, trying to hide his blush by turning his face to the side and then excusing himself-- (smooth)

✧ mans just left you confoozed, but you shrugged it off

✧ he digged the compliment tho, it made his heart swell and his ego skyrocket LOL

✧ his crushing gets worse after you start showing up to his games to support and cheer for him

✧ gushes about you mid-game to Iwaizumi, who looks like he wants to off himself every time--

✧ once you’re a bit more comfortable around him and after “hanging out” (Oikawa: “nOT a date oKAY”) a few times, that’s when he thinks he should ask you out (like on a date date c; )

Kuroo

✧ (totally unrelated but i had a weird dream recently where kuroo and i became buddies bc we found each other’s finstas--)

✧ ok im like 99% sure all these bois would love to get some sort of reaction out of their shy crushes cuz they think it’s cute, they just do it in different ways

✧ kuro’s a bit of a tease

✧ but only because he likes to see your reactions, thrives off of them n eats that shit up like salted mackerel-- (not literally)

✧ likes to look in on what you’re doing whenever you’re just minding your own business ( “whatcha got there?” )

✧ gets a bit close to you as he looks over your shoulder (doesn’t matter wut ur height is; this mf tall tho)

✧ will call out your name and wave when he sees you in the distance, then walk over to you and start a conversation, asking you about your day, what you were doing, etc.

✧ will leave his other friends to talk to you, so much for bros b4 hoe5

✧ always respects your boundaries, though. he’s quite perceptive and is able to tell whether or not you’re uncomfortable

✧ and if you are, he’ll do whatever he can to lessen it (sometimes without you even realizing it)

✧ invites you to study with him after school in the library (and thanks the universe when you agree)

✧ tries to be sLICK when y’all are studying

✧ like he’s extra attentive so when you drop your pencil this man zooms for it before you can even blink so he can pick it up and maybe touch your hand as he hands it to you

✧ “oh, you dropped this,” he says, iNNOcENtLY

✧ you just smile and respond with a “thank you, kuro”

✧ may or may not have done this also so you could smile and thank him—

✧ will also try to impress you with his knOwLedGE and is eager to help when you don’t understand something

✧ tries to fix his bedhead ;((( but fails (Issok bb u perfect already)

✧ will kinda flex about his team and being captain (“oh yeah so we’re going to nationals pretty soon”),,, hoping to convince you to come to a game

✧ which,,, you do (much to his content--)

✧ luckily for him, you end up easily vibing with both kuro and kenma

✧ occasionally you see both of them and are comfortable enough to approach and say hi

✧ after a while tho kenma just disappears and ur like ?? where’d he go ?? and kuro genuinely did not know

✧ kenma just wants to give y’all sum alone time,,,, but y’all dont know that (except kuro when he confronted him later n all he got as a response was ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

✧ always asks you about your interests, mentally taking notes on them (he believes that info will come in handy in the future)

✧ and he likes to surprise you with the things he remembers (ie. your fav colors, snacks, scents, hobbies, etc)

✧ is kinda comfortable with how things are between you two

✧ but also really want something more; will probs end up asking you out suddenly when y’all are hanging out >.>

✧ embarrassment and uwu’s are shared

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 13: THE FINALEEEE...we are done with this season wow (Finale Commentary.. No guesses because everybody was revealed lol)

Hello my friends! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of the Masked Singer (and next we will do The Masked Dancer) excluding singalongs & the Road to Finals (which is why I skipped episode 11 & 12, which was last week & right before the finale which is what I am gonna recap now)... Anyways, let’s get started (going in backwards order from how they placed):

The 3 finalists are: Sun ☀️, Crocodile 🐊, and Mushroom 🍄

In 3rd Place, we have:

*Drumroll Please*

Crocodile!

Performance: he sang Open Arms by Journey and it was amazing, he murdered it. This season was honestly so fantastic talent wise that any of them could've won if they were on separate seasons because they were that good.... Like I can't rave about this season more, I thought at first that they were just bluffing when they said this was gonna be their best season yet in terms of talent, but they lived up to the claim and wow.. this is prob one of the first recaps where I have nothing bad to say about any of the performances!

Ok, so having said that, Croc was revealed to be...

Nick Carter

Commentary: I'm not doing clues, since they didn't really say much clue wise and I’ve also kinda said the clues since the start, so it would be kinda repetitive, whatever you get the point... I love them 90s boy bands, u know, the N Sync and Backstreet Boys so I am very familiar with their voices so this was easy for me. He really did an amazing job, improving every week, never expected him to get this far tho (not shading him, I genuinely thought Seahorse would win that battle) but he’s still amazing and I am not mad at this result.

Next, our Season 4 runner-up is...

*Drumroll Please*

Mushroom!

Performance: His performance of I wish by Stevie Wonder was amazing like wow... he really showed his “real” voice with this song since he has been changing it throughout the season to really trick everyone, so if you didn’t get him before, this performance might have sold you on him. I loved it, it was fantastic, he killed it!

Anyways, Mushroom was revealed to be...

Aloe Blacc

Commentary: It took me a while but I got it woohoo 2 for 2! Yes, I know who he is, cmon he sang Wake Me Up with Avicci and The Man, 2 songs I am very familiar with. But yeah, I got it yay! He was hard to get since he played more with his voice and switched it up on us with the song choices. However, these last couple of songs convinced me, especially this last one. He really killed it, he could have won any other season, but he had stiff competition with our winner below, you can guess who it is by deductive reasoning or if you already watched the show, but just pretend to be surprised haha, but yeah he did amazing!

Then we have our season 4 winner/champion/Golden Mask Trophy recipient:

*Drumroll Please*

☀️ The Sun ☀️

Performance: She sang The Story by Brandi Carlie and even though she didn’t necessarily top her last performance (because that one was immaculate and hard to beat), she still murdered it, like it was so amazing. She has such an amazing voice, the talent is crazy, I love every second when she performs. I am really glad she won, she really did deserve it! There were people who were robbed for sure but she really deserved the win.

Last but not least Sun was revealed to be...

*Drumroll Please*

LeAnn Rimes!

Commentary: ugh, I am gonna repeat myself, but lemme brag a bit: yayyyy I got 3 for 3 woohoo! Final score of the season for me was 14/16, only 2 wrong which were Baby Alien and Gremlin. Anyways, ahhh I knew it was LeAnn from the beginning, her voice is so recognizable so it was pretty easy to distinguish. Nevertheless, she is so talented and she so deserved this win, 2nd female to win TMS how cool (even tho the first wasn’t something I was super stoked about but whatever). I am really happy with these results actually, nothing to complain about here. I wanted her to win and I think I predicted it in the recap last week so yay!

Anyways, we are done! Next week, I will start recapping The Masked Dancer, and maybe a little later in the week I will do some costume rankings. However, I wanna know what you guys wanna see from me pop culture wise since I am a bit stuck... I kinda wanna do my favorite Netflix shows or talking about bad Netflix Christmas movies because those are a doozy omg 🤣... Anyways, let me know in the comments and don’t forget to like, share, do all the internet-y things and Happy Holidays everybody! Byeeee! 👋🏼

[dreamy-stars]

7/30/20

i’ve never felt this low in a long time, not even in sophomore year of college?? it’s like rly concentrated sadness and rly hit hard within the last month?

- i went through my first breakup, which affected me a lot more than i thought it would. it was so short lived i don’t even want to call it a relationship. i hate to admit it but it hurt so much bc it seemed like he wanted to be with me for a while. he has his reasons and he should take care of himself but i can’t help but feel thrown away without care? i wanted closure and he couldn’t even give me that. my self confidence went down the drain, and i kept questioning if there was something i could have done differently. i even contemplated if i was pretty enough XD can you believe i let a 5’6 man make me feel like this...pathetic...but yeah he rly has no emotional intelligence or something man cmon i wanna talk it out.. - it took me a while to get over him and now i dont miss him specifically, i just miss being wanted and having that connection? anyway my confidence was bad at this point and was feeling insecure in so many ways. maybe 3-4 weeks ago i started going down this dark hole, just questioning my purpose here. i’m not smart, pretty, or talented in any field. i felt kind of useless? just there... (even typing this im like tearing up hehe) comparing myself to ppl again..how i’m not good enough (in eng) just kinda wasting my parents money? and i think about if i were prettier i’d prob be treated better and those around me would pay nore attention to me? brings me to my next point :p - i feel SO lonely. it doesnt help that i went through a break up and the person i was talking to all day every day is suddenly cut from my life. my friends can contact me and stuff but i feel so left out sometimes. it’s not their fault, it’s just how my brain is ig lol. it felt like i was back in high school. i had acquaintances and was surrounded by friends but couldnt rly connect and be close to ppl. what i remeber most was being at the booth and being surrounded by girl friends and not adding to the convo at all. i felt so lonely and insecure i never want to feel that again. recently i felt it with my cousins who i have always felt close to. can u believe? i can’t rly explain it. but when sp brought her friends to the lake i felt ostracized. its so stupid for ne to feel that way, they’re literally strangers and i wish we could be like white folks that introduce each other right at the start of meeting new ppl U KNOW?? idk i’m so fucking sensitive LOL. like at least mai did it with her bf. I Am Nothing. like sp didnt introduce tp so why am i feeling like this. i guess its just me and my deep rooted trauma of being overlooked and forgotten! even when we went to the lake with just our cousins i felt SOOO SOOOOOOOO down and lonely, even more than before. i was sticking near ap bc it was kinda awkward still and i didnt want her to be lonely. i was just floating around and they played games and talked together and stuff and i felt invisible i felt so lonely even with so many ppl i love there. it didn’t help that they had sleepovers and hung out together so ich and never asked me. they even planned to sleepover later that night and didnt ask me. i wonder if it was bc i was neutral and stuck with ap? oh yeah i forgot that i couldnt go eat with them bc there was no room for me which is understandable but i still felt shitty and i think i cried that night :p it’s small insignificant things that build up for me and make me feel like an afterthought. it rly fueled my self confidence issue. AGAIN no one did anything wrong i’ve just been very sensitive and analytical of everything lately. it’s kind of led me to being distant with sp kinda like im testing her and seeing if she would reach out to me at all? its petty but i feel like she hates me fr 😂 might just be me. I Am Nothing...

ANYWAY ive been crying like pretty often just having these thoughts eat me up. it’s better now i think? it’s scary to admit but i’ve thought about dying so many times recently and i hate it. almost like it’s normalized to me now. it’s not that i would ever attempt but i understand what ppl mean when they want to disappear? i’m very blessed with loving parents and a healthy able body and a good living situation. i never want to put my parents and family through something that traumatizing. i haven’t properly expressed these feelings to anyone besides one watered down text to darwin. it was hard to even type the text, i ended up crying in the bathroom. i’ll have bad days and the thoughts creep up on me and i try to distract myself by watching stuff and it helps. i’ve been working out and dieting and i feel a lot better about myself and more positive. i’ve thought about therapy seriously but im hesitant still. if i still have issues i will, but talking through a screen and the risk of others hearing kinda turns me off. just processing my feelings and thinking about them extensively has helped me a bit but i think having a professional tell me about my feelings will make me feel better. idk how to bring it up at all, and i feel like my issues arent serious enough? but my brain been going cwazy :3

 i’ve been having a rough time at home just doing a lot of nothing but being sad and working out.. i hope with school starting soon i can get out the house and be productive again! recently ive been dealing with the problem of “living for others” i notice that i care about the comfort of others and how i can satisfy them and appeal to others at my expense.. i’ve been thinking about how im not good enough for this type of guy to like me LIKE WHO AMMM IIII WHY DO I CARE...WEIRDO..... maybe im dragging myself too hard i dont think i do this much but i do be a nice comfy doormat for others :)

but overall i feel better than a few weeks ago i think! idk what that was about why is my brain like this....making irrational thoughts and hurting my own feelings...idk but it will be okay :)

[thestormfall]

Everything about Beat today was a little too much. [TSoS 2019: Hexa-Code Kernel]

----

Characters: Daisukenojo ‘Beat’ Bito &  Neku Sakuraba 

Wordcount:  2,677

Also on Ao3

hohoho I’ve finally written fanfic again. Gotta give some fanfic love to my fave Beat. feel free to read it there and leave a review if you enjoy it haha  

or just here, under the cut.

03/07 10:00AM

- yo, Phones! you free today? lets hang out!

- Sorry, I can't today, I'm kind of busy.

- thats cool

03/09 10:20AM

- man, the weathers sick today! cmon Ill go teach you that move I was talking about

- Can't do today either, Beat. Family stuff.

- No probs man

03/10 09:00AM

- so Doi is doing a special lunch menu today wanna go?

- I've already got lunch plans, sorry

- issokay man

- How about later? We can hang in the park after I'm done with lunch?

- yeah! aight Ill see you later.

xx

Of No Envy

Neku wasn't great at skateboarding but he didn't think that he was terrible. At the very least, after two years of being taught by Beat, he thought he would end up being decent. The unconcealed impish grins of a group of middle-school kids told him otherwise, though. Yeah, yeah laugh it up.

On the other hand, Beat was practising a few tricks that made the kids forget all about him. One of them even clapped. Yeah, Neku wasn't going to manage to do that. He couldn't even remember what it was called.

He resigned to heading towards their resting spot at the top of the skating bowl, leaning against one of the slim trees. Neku wiped the sweat off his neck using his wristband. He always exerted a lot of energy skating with Beat. With him, no matter how idle Neku might have wanted to be, Beat simply dragged him along. Not that he minded, of course.

"Phones, did you see that?" Beat skated up to him, hopping off his board and landing perfectly on the spot next to Neku, catching his board with one hand. For someone so brash, it was almost comical how smooth he was with his skateboard. "Been trying to land that nollie laser for a month!" So that's what it was called. "Gotta see if I can do it again!"

"I'm sure you will."

Beat settled down beside him, crossed leg. "Put 'em here!" He held up a fist, awaiting eagerly.

"Haha, good job." Neku returned the gesture, noting how Beat seemed pretty satisfied with himself today. "So, what? Was that what you wanted to show me all week?"

"Nah, didntcha hear me? That's the first time I've done it." He nudged Neku with his shoulder. "Had a feelin' I wouldn't get it 'till I had you around."

"Oh please, you would have got it eventually. Don't think I know anyone more stubborn than you."

"Thanks, Phones!"

Neku wanted to tell Beat that it wasn't usually meant to be a compliment…but he supposed that in this case, it was. He grabbed his water bottle, poking Beat in the cheek with it. "Want some?"

"Bwaaaah! Phones, that's cold!" Though he said that, Beat took the drink, gulping it down.

"Beat. What's wrong?"

This caused Beat to spit out about half his drink. "Huh? What d'ya mean? There ain't anythin' wrong?"

"Judging how you spit out enough water to keep all the trees in Miyashita Park hydrated, I'd argue otherwise."

His friend opened his mouth, then closed it again. A few times.

"Beat. What's wrong?" He repeated, a bit more sternly this time.

"…Yeah, yeah okay, you've got me." Beat sighed deeply and leaned back against the tree. "How'd you know?"

"You've been bugging me to meet up for the past two weeks," Neku said, drily. "Pretty sure I told you after the last ramen session that I was going to be busy, but there's been a message from you, what…every morning?"

It wasn't just that. Everything about Beat today was a little too much. Yes, Beat was always one to spend the whole day boarding but right now? In the middle of March? Neku had warmed up from the exercise but even after sitting here for a few minutes, the cool spring air was starting to seep into his skin. Beat hated the cold, too. Neku would know, Beat never failed to complain about it.

There was something about the look in his eyes, too. There, even as they were talking. Even as Beat was looking right at him.

"…Is it because Rhyme's leaving?"

Beat stiffened as the words left Neku's mouth.

I knew it.

Neku already knew that Rhyme was leaving, she and Beat had told all of them. She was off to a specialist high school overseas. When Rhyme said that she had a dream to chase, she really meant it. Of course, it would hit Beat hard. They all knew how much she meant to him.

"Hey, I'm going to miss her too, you know," he offered, quietly.

His friend stayed quiet. He lowered his eyes, then looked away.

"That's ain't it, Phones."

"It's…not?"

"Not all of it. It is and it ain't."

Well, that had Neku stumped.

"You're going to have to help me out, here a little Beat. You wanted to tell me what it was, didn't you?"

"…Ya know how you said I was 'buggin' you' for a while?" Beat finally said.

"Beat, you're not actually bothering me," Neku tried to clarify. "It's just a figure of speech –"

"I got that one," Beat interrupted. "At the start, I was jus' wantin' to hang out. I didn't want to ask Rhyme 'cause she's busy with gettin' ready to leave. But you've been busy too. An' Shiki." He paused. "…I even asked Priss." Neku raised an eyebrow, and Beat returned a look that said, 'I know'. "Anyway, everyone was doin' somethin'."

"Beat…"

"So I just kept askin' you. But you've got other friends now, right? You were havin' lunch with them today, right?"

"I guess I do," Neku said. "Beat, yeah sure I was having lunch today with other friends, but it's not like you're any less of a friend to me. Heck, I'm pretty sure you guys were the ones who were telling me to make more friends."

"Yeah, an' you did. I'm not sayin' you shouldn't have. It's a good thing. I know that," Beat said. "I know you worked pretty hard to make friends."

Hearing that made Neku felt slightly embarrassed.

Beat could probably tell. "You did. An' I'm glad you did. I know you didn't wanna have any friends…back when…back when we were in the Game." Beat whispered 'the game', something that they all tended to do. "The point is you changed. An' you kept changin' after the Game. All of you did."

He said the last sentence, with such a bitter sting that Neku was taken aback. "You don't like that we've changed?"

"I don't like that I haven't changed." There was a softer, "not one bit."

Neku hadn't seen Beat like this…not since the Game. It seemed that Beat needed a moment to compose himself.

He wasn't speaking, so all Neku could hear was the sound of those kids skateboarding, laughing with and at each other as they continued showing off tricks to each other. It was jarring, how downcast the atmosphere around Beat was in comparison. It was almost like Beat didn't belong in this picture.

Or maybe it's like that because that's how he feels.

"Rhyme's still chasing her dream," said Beat, speaking suddenly again. "An' she's leavin' because of it. I'm happy for her an' all that but we used to hang out all the time. But she's too busy now, so yeah I thought I'd leave her alone for a bit. But besides you guys, what do I have? Nothin' but this skateboard. The rest of you have tried to change, but I didn't. After the Game, I thought that was enough. Rhyme was back so that was enough. But I'm still a good for nothin' loser who doesn't matter and who has nothin' that matters to me."

Neku wanted to argue because it's not like Beat didn't have other friends. Except thinking back on it, he never mentioned having any. Not having friends was kind of Neku's thing. Perhaps he made such a big deal of it that Beat never wanted to because Neku couldn't recall Beat ever mentioning having other friends either.

Come to think of it…Hadn't Beat always gone a bit quieter whenever Shiki mentioned she was working on a new project? Whenever Neku said Hanekoma was going to help iron out a few things about his new track? Whenever Rhyme went on and on about her new school?

…When had Beat talked about himself?

He knew the answer: not much. Not since the game.

Not until now.

"You're not a loser, Beat."

"I knew you'd say that," was the immediate response. "Doesn't make it true."

He never thought he'd be the one left speechless with Beat. Neku didn't know what to say. He was never good at this. Maybe Shiki or Rhyme could have dealt with this better. Maybe even Josh – no, not Joshua, he would just say something that would make things worse.

Neku hated this, he hated seeing Beat like this.

He just…he just never assumed Beat would be anything but okay. They all had their nightmares about the Game but that was something they shared and talked about. There was nothing to indicate that there were things weren't going well after that.

And he couldn't outright say that Beat had definitely changed because he hadn't. Not in any way that he could tell.

…but so what?

"So what if you haven't changed? So, you haven't made any new friends? Or you don't have a dream? You don't need to have them, it doesn't make us any better than you."

"Phones?"

"Yeah, fine. You're still the same Beat who did everything to save your sister and who wasn't afraid to ask me for help," he continued, words falling out before he could catch them. "You're the same guy back then, who wanted to make friends with me of all people. Then, I'm sorry, but that's perfectly fine with me. Who says you need to change anyway? Screw that. If you want to find a dream or whatever crap, fine. We'll help you, but you don't need to change to do it. Another thing,you don't need a whole bunch of other people as friends because you matter to me."

Beat blinked at Neku.

"…Man, I didn't think you were goin' to get…angry with me."

"I'm not – "

Oh.

Uh, maybe he had been shouting.

Yep, those kids were giving him strange looks.

"The bottom line is," he tried to say with a bit more calm. "You're one of my best friends, and always will be whether you change or not. Or whether you have a dream or not. If you're really having a bad day or something you just need to tell me. And not with just some 'let's hang out' texts that you drop after one reply."

The person Neku was two years ago, before he met his friends, was a thorny person of no envy. Beat, however, had always had a heart of gold. Neku just wished that Beat could see that too.

"…I guess you're right," Beat said, though Neku was unsure if he was entirely convinced. "An' I think maybe I was feelin' a bit left out."

"Yeah…but seriously, if you just want to cry or whatever, I'll drop my plans."

Beat shook his head. "…That would be pretty mean to your other friends."

"I'm serious." Dead serious.

"An' why would I text you, to say 'I'm cryin', that's weird, dude."

"You're crying right now," Neku pointed out.

"Huh."

He guessed Beat, didn't realise, but there were definitely a bunch of tears just rolling down his eyes right now. Beat was always a crier; another thing that Neku was glad didn't change.

At this point, the kids were definitely staring.

"Alright, let's go Beat. The special might not still be on, but I bet you could do with some ramen right now."

Getting up, he gathered his skateboard and helmet, helping Beat to do the same. They got more stares as they left the skate park, but Neku ignored them.

"Phones?"

They only just made it out of the entrance, and Neku turned to see that Beat was wiping his face his hand. "Thanks for that, man."

"Yeah, no worries. Just…just don't keep these kinda things in, okay?" Neku tugged at his hair, a habit that hadn't changed for him after the Game. "I don't know if whatever crap I just said was good advice or not, but that's just what I think. If that's good enough for you, then you know, you can talk to me."

"Okay," he grinned, looking a lot better already, even though his eyes were still puffy. "Yeah, I haven't talked about that before so I guess I needed to let it all out."

Neku nodded. "And I'm here, whenever you need to."

"If you've got anythin' to get off your chest, you can tell me too," Beat declared.

He swung an arm around Neku's shoulder, to which Neku would usually tell him to do a bit less zealously but he would let it slide this time. "Aight, now let's get some of that ramen you were talkin' about."

"Heh, of course."

He was glad that even if Beat wasn't completely better, he had cheered up a little. The idea of ramen probably helped too.

"Thanks again, Neku."

"Anytime."

…Wait, did he just call me –

"Man, I'm starved now, Phones. I'll race ya there!"

Beat took off before Neku could say anything else. He stood there for a bit, wondering if his ears were working right.

"Hey, what're you doin'? This is a race! Pick it up, Phones!"

Shaking his head, he sighed, even as a smile came to his face.

"I'm there!"

A/N: Tadaa! Wow, I haven't posted anything since…June 2017? Not to say I haven't been writing, but most things I posted on Ao3 because the fandoms I wrote for were there…Ew, that makes me feel totally disloyal now. Okay nope, that's it, I'm giving my fics back to ffnet first, always. That said, happy start of TSoS 2019: Hexa-Code Kernel. If you didn't already know, the Twelve Shots of Summer, is exactly that – twelve one-shots all through summer!

And of course, I thought I'd get my gears going into the mood by starting off with one of my still most beloved and favourite things to write about: TWEWY!

I wanted to write something a bit more Beat-centric, though for writing Beat I usually need a bit more of a warm-up before writing in his voice so…this happened. The prompt was 'Open()' and as you probably can tell I used it in an 'opening up' sense. Not to be confused with 'open up your senses' ;D *bdm tsss*

My twewy writing is a bit rusty but I hope I did okay with my fave boy Beat. Always thought that things might not always go well for him, even after the Game so yep. And I would think Neku tried to make some friends from class after the TWEWY game, though of course the Hachiko Gang are still his best friends.

Anyway, I hope this gave you some good twewy feels. Thanks for reading!

- Dina 09/06/2019

[frankensteindotpdf]

TGWDLM and Love

Okayyyy so I was supposed to write an assignment on how a romantic movie expresses love and I asked my prof if I could write about tgwdlm instead and he said yes?? Bless him so anyway I made wayyyy too many notes for a 500-600 word assignment lmao so I felt like i might as well post em here… this is a compilation of every time Paul and Emma interact pretty much lol its hella long (im not kidding it’s like 7 pages rip) so under the cut :) 

finally done, @isaidsinggoddammit!!

Sidenote: There’s very mixed capitalization as my brain flipped between tumblr mode and assignment mode so excuse that lmao)

Coffee Shop Part 1

Tips well to impress her

Listens to her vent-she already feels comfy enough to rant to him or, alternatively, she’s just a really open person (but shhh she has to trust him to some extent)

Insults others he doesnt know too well but he knows she doesnt like, again to impress

Tries to act indifferent towards everyone else (and tough)

Almost says smth romantic (“Some things are worth it”) but backtracks when she looks confused

In this scene, he tries to act cool but is clearly super nervous. One thing I really like is how he never acts too cool for her, like a lotta people do. He’s genuinely interested in what she has to say and never pretends otherwise, and also never pretends to be interested to get her to like him. I just really love how good he is at listening

Cup of Roasted Coffee/ Cup of Poisoned Coffee

When he panics he goes to Beanies to get a coffee and relax (wake up)

He turns to Emma (subconsciously?) for comfort

Freaks out when she sings (for good reason)

Emma remembers him (“Paul, right?... You’re the guy who doesn’t like musicals”)

Doesnt seem to notice how weird he’s acting

Continues to vent

He pulls her away from the counter to explain what’s going on

Paul finds it important to tell her-she’s the first person he admits it to

Him venting to her like she does to him? Trying to connect in a similar way? Im reading too much into that

He holds her there while explaining, she has to find an excuse to pull away

She thinks he’s crazy-keeps glancing at him during the song (he looks terrified)

Seems concerned for him

He switches between nervously staring at her and anxiously staring into the void (mood)

She turns to him at the “end” of the song and comes near him in the middle

She runs to paul when they start singing

They grab each other

He tells her to run, pushes her forward and shifts so he’s between her and the aliens

This scene is reeeally creepy from Emma’s perspective like oh my gosh can you imagine a man yelling at you (not at you but at your singing but still) and pulling you away from your work and then holding you still when you try to leave??? Anxiety to the max poor babe but also i get paul’s side can you imagine seeing the whole apocalypse beginning and it’s so weird no one would believe you if you tried to tell them? Poor bb. There’s also a lot of things that come up later: the ways he holds emma in this scene is the same way he holds her later one, later it’s to comfort her but  this time it’s more to calm himself… he also pulls her to a better spot like he does later on

Trash Bin Scene

He leads her away-he knows the neighbourhood better

Tries learning about her (you like film?) (cmon paul bad timing)

(at trash) hold hands, she grabs his shirt while panicking

He holds her firmly by the shoulders to calm & comfort (parallels Cuppa)

Emma instinctively grabs Paul’s arm when Bill pops out

“Emma stays with us”-stands up to ted even though he looks pretty scared of him

(sidenote-what did ted do to Paul? The poor boy looks straight up terrified the first time he shows up)

Emma looks real confused about “latte hottay” but she never brings it up

“Paul!” when he runs to Charlotte-gestures at Paul near end of song

Paul tends to comfort people by grabbing their shoulders/putting a hand on their back (Emma of course but also Charlotte and Bill- has a looser hold on them than Emma)

Here they’re already starting to react to danger by reaching for each other and it’s v cute also bless paul i just really like how he calms people down he’s so good and pure

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 1

They trust Emma enough to go to Hidgens’ place (not like they had many other options)

Men™ typically trusted for “strong” stuff-Ted and Bill cuff Sam

Paul stands up for Bill-such a protective boy (could also be doing it to look cool for Emma but tbh it doesnt seem like it ill bring this up again later)

Paul listens intently to Emma’s venting

He smiles, nods, asks qs and repeats phrases she says

Its obvious he genuinely cares

Emma’s v comfy with him-they have an easy chem when Paul relaxes

Emma progressively shares deeper shit as she becomes more comfortable around paul

Paul makes jokes to lighten the mood, but not in a disrespectful way

Seems more nervous when bringing topics to himself

She listens just as politely as he does

“Whoa thats like your origin story...so I guess I’m the supervillain” “I dont think of you like that at all, Emma.” Cutest, Softest smiles on both of them my heART “Listen, Paul”-she was about to confess her love dammit charlotte

I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: Paul is such a good listener. I dont know why i find this so cute but their convos are so perfect like he asks qs so he knows exactly what she’s talking about (“what’s a coatimundi?” “Oh, did she smoke a lot of pot?”) and he repeats back phrases she says which shows that he’s genuinely listening like...so many characters (and people irl, lets be real)  just pretend to listen to get what they want but he cares so much about what she has to say i just cant stop talking about it it’s so cute also how he seems so comfortable when she’s talking and then starts showing sign of nervousness again when the convo turns to him? Pure mood

Join Us And Die

Both jump behind chair when Charlotte and Sam show up

Emma clings to Paul’s arm + hides behind him

She steps out “charlotte?”

Paul pulls her back when sam approaches

Paul puts himself between Emma and Sam

Emma puts her back to Paul and grabs his arm

Paul pulls Emma away by her arm (“What’s wrong with her shirt?”)

Emma’s caught up in the gore, Paul is relatively level-headed

He keeps an arm around her

Emma steps away from paul to yell at Sam +Char (“He has a daughter!!”)

Instinctively reaches for Paul  when Char gets shot (and later looks back at paul a couple of times when shook at prof hidgens)

Alright they do this whenever aliens show up so imma just talk about it here: this part was in my assignment so 1 lets hope it doesnt get flagged as plagiarism and 2 i could rant about this all day.

Basically Paul fulfills the traditional masculine role as protector and leader. Whenever smth dangerous shows up, he has one hand on her (on her shoulder, arm or the small of her back)-both reassuring them that someone else is there and making it easier for him to move her-which he does lots. He pulls her behind him or pushes her forward (away from the infected), leading her to where he thinks is safest. He always puts himself between her and the aliens, leading her to a safer spot. Emma tends to get distracted (emotional female stereotype) and paul is the one to move them both to safety (strong stoic man stereotype). To be fair, he is a lot bigger than emma and would probs have an easier time in a fight (tho i dont doubt that emma would be v i c i o u s) Emma tend to cling to Paul’s arm when she gets scared (which is really cute)

Hidgens’ Fortress Part 2

Emma adds to Paul’s plan- taps on his arm to move him

Paul steps back in front of her- i always found this weird, he totally blocks her from the conversation like why

She steps back out to roast ted

Paul looks at Emma when Ted @s him-now here’s where I could see him standing up for Bill to impress emma again. It’s not the only reason, but i do think it’s a contributing factor (and probably was before too cuz lets be real, when your crush is around you gotta act tough) of course he wants to protect his bff but he’s super anxious around ted so wanting to look brave for emma gives him that extra push he needs. Alternatively, he looks at Emma as a way to calm himself down before saying smth scary (which is adorable)

Emma wants to help but is called back to help with the lab

This is another thing i find super interesting-wouldnt more people around make it more likely he gets stopped? Did he want an audience (more than just ted) cuz i guess that’s understandable but in that case why didnt he wait a little longer to see if they came back? Idk it just seemed weird to me (also the whole “nooo female cant go out where it’s dangerous” even though it’s more like “oh emma’s the only one i know here can she not leave” wait actually that’s probably it lmao he just didnt wanna be alone with ted ok relatable nvm )

“Hey, Paul?” grabs arms (paul reciprocates) she’s real nervous for him leaving-relates to how much he hates musicals

I find that really cute cuz it’s showing once again how much they listen to each other and idk i just really like that about them

Grabs his face and pulls him close-he pulls her hands down to look her in the eyes to tell her he’ll stay safe

He doesn’t kiss her-super interesting! She pulled him close like that (which coulda been a sign to kiss her) and this was a pretty emotionally charged moment which a kiss would have fit - Paul hates kisses hc?

Not Your Seed + General (technically, just a little note)

Paul holds Emma tight with 2 hands, but keeps 1 hand free when holding others (ie bill and charlotte)

Only tells General about Emma, not Ted or the Prof (tho to be fair, he hates ted and barely knows the prof but it’s interesting how he doesnt even say he has “friends”, just Emma)

America Is Great Again

Paul saves emma and Ted

“Should I take this chair?” asks paul to lead

Emma holds Paul’s arm when they run

She tries to pry “Greg”’s arm off Paul + tries to get Ted to help-not strong enough

“Thank you Emma”-she freed him/killed Greg? I wanna know what happened (i tweeted @ jon, lauren and nick asking, so far jon just liked it we’ll see if anyone answers)

Runs behind Emma + pushes her forward “run, emma, run!”-Emma grabs for Paul, he steps in front

He pulls her through Robert+Corey and turns her around

She pulls him away from the General-paul usually does the pulling to safety

Paul doesnt notice when Emma is grabbed by Ted (lmao i get that he’s a little busy but it still seems odd)

She struggles with 1, 3 are on Paul (not a sexist thing, she’s tiny and also Paul is the main character and the aliens know it plus they gotta do that cool lift thing)

Emma grabs gun + shoots the General, grabbing Paul-”Paul! The helicopter! Cmon!”

Usually Paul does that stuff, but emma takes the protective role more in the 2nd half of this song

Basically we have the classic paul protecting emma stuff but now also the emma protecting paul which is good and fresh and i love...the way she tries to protect paul is different than how he protects her. She yells more frantically, and also is more of trying to lead him whereas paul yells to get her attention and physically moves her himself

Helicopter Scene

He helps her onto the heli, back to his usual protective self

Keeps one hand on the back of her seat the whole time (aww he’s stabilizing himself physically cuz the copter’s shaky and emotionally cuz he’s closer to Emma)

“Emma, seatbelts” he reaches up to help her into her seat-he kicks the gun to save them

“Emma? Emma?” immediate response is to call out to her-that boy was literally awake less than a second before worrying about her i love him

Runs to her when he sees her

“”This is what seatbelts are for” in this scene he seems really like...over it? Idk if anyone else got that he just seemed really intent on destroying the meteor instead of anything to do with Emma… before saving their lives was priority but also spending time with her, here he nods like he’s trying to rush her and does not seem excited to kiss her (again, Paul hates kisses? ok that was a rant that got ahead of my notes but just-) this scene is weird to me like maybe he’s trying to rush to stop the meteor so they can be together after and like not die idk anymore

He reaches out for her, jumping away when she cries out in pain

The rest of the scene he has his hands hovering a few inches away from her, very protective but also very scared of hurting her

Emma comes up with the solution, Paul has to do it cuz she’s hurt (weak gal, strong man, injured person knows secret to survival and tells strong boi how to do it tropes)

“Hey, Paul?” slides over to him-he gingerly supports her back (scared to hurt her)

He shushes her to calm her while talking cuz she’s in pain- ok, maybe its less about “gotta get out of here” and more about “she’s hurt really badly and needs help asap, i gotta destroy that meteor so i can get help” ok that makes sense im dumb lmao

Emma is first to ask out + kiss me? + pulling him in by his tie- breakin stereotype of man making first move

Then the little “..okay..” after she asks him to kiss her...maybe he wanted it to be romantic aww he wanted them to have a real cute first kiss and this wasnt what he had planned (or he just doesn’t like kisses cuz like he looks so uncomfortable there’s gotta be a reason”

He doesnt wanna kiss her cuz of the blood (weak) and is happy to leave-this part is what throws me off most he just like runs on outta there with no hesitation but he loves her?? I dont get it

Dont really need a rant here cuz i did a lotta ranting in the points… excuse my little journey of discovery there lmao I was just confused at first cuz at face value he seems really different, super hell bent on getting out of there whereas in every other scene he pays way more attention to Emma. I suppose it’s because he knows he has to destroy the meteor asap so he can get her help, i just didnt catch that. His motivations seemed very different in this scene to me and i couldnt figure out why

Theory time

Now here’s the fun part-i saw a theory somewhere that Paul can only get infected because he has a true goal now, he really wants to end up with Emma. In What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson is trying to find out what he wants to use it as motivation to make him more susceptible to the virus/make him sing a song, but since Paul doesn’t want anything clearcut he cant be infected. Now, since Paul wants Emma, he has a goal and smth to fight for but also smth to sing about. The very reason he’ trying to save the world becomes the reason he fails.

HOWEVER. His goal could just as easily be saving the world cuz he literally doesnt bring emma up once? Like i get he’s preoccupied but idk if he’s about to die i feel like he’d at least mention her (unless he’s hoping they think she died and wont go looking for her if he fails) idk their romance is adorable until the scene before this and then these 2 scenes make it feel really off for me

Okay now onto the most fun scene >:) -since there’s so many details i separated them into actions and lyrics

Inevitable (Actions)

“Are you sure there weren’t any other survivors?” :(

“PEIP would like to see it become smth more” because she’s the love interest and they’re supposed to end up together ahhh it’s the alien talking

She grabs his arms to look him in the eyes then pulls him in for a hug (the cutest)

She’s v reluctant to believe it at first “Paul?” She’s still smiling for the first line

Slowly she starts to let herself see what’s happening “Paul, you’re scaring me”

She knows he’s infected but she’s trying her hardest to believe he could be playing a cruel joke

He has power over her physically- holds her where he wants her while they’re dancing

He dances with her at first, gestures to her to move closer, talks to her, moves towards dancing at her instead of with

He blocks her exit, pulls her to where he wants her and ignores her for part

This is where you can really tell he’s different. Paul would never ignore Emma, and he straight up ignores her to sing and dance

He points at her and then goes back to ignoring her

Emma starts sobbing and really trying to run

Emma is dragged to the center of the stage sobbing because she cant do anything

He drops character in credits, waving and smiling to the audience; she doesnt

He’s got physical power over her (strength) but also cuz he’s backed by all the aliens who can move her where she’s supposed to go

Inevitable (lyrics)

“Emma, I’m sorry, you lost.” couldnt kill aliens

“Lost your way” didnt want to join them

“I made it” ‘This is the life that I chose” “I’m still the man you trust” “what if the only choice is you had to sing to survive” “Put words to the lyrics and you’re playing the game now” -maybe he’s faking it (i also heard someone mention the fact that he sings in his natural voice and not the higher one he used for the Alien Brain in Let It Out which is a good catch) (also someone else brought up the fact that he was mostly singing reprises, maybe because he couldnt think up his own tune/entirely original lyrics?)

“It’s inevitable for us”-because she’s the love interest, it’s was inevitable that they’d wind up together

“Show me those jazz hands” He’s trying to convince her to join of her own free will

“or i might be inclined to plant my seed” but is willing to do it by force if she wont

This song is super interesting because of the parallels-he holds her the same way he did in previous songs, pulls and pushes her across the stage like before, but this time it’s turned against her. What was once meant as protection is now being used to force her to join the dance I talked more about this in my assignment but i dont wanna get too close to what i wrote before because it could get flagged for plagiarism and i do not want that so imma reblog this post alter and add my assignment for more info (if yall want anyway)

The lyrics could hint at Paul faking it, and it definitely appears that way (especially with the face he makes at “Im still the man you trust) but i think the part in the middle where he just kind of breaks off to dance really kills that idea for me. Even if he was trying to trick the aliens, he could have kept closer to Emma like he does every other time they’re in danger, and the fact that he straight up ignores her and lets the aliens move her around like that is just not in his character so apologies but i believe our man is gone

Also, regarding the theories that Emma is infected because of the beginning; I could see that happening, but in that case, why didnt she break character at the end? I have absolutely zero idea how/if the intro song fits into the story but idk i feel like she should’ve acted like the rest of them if she really was infected but on the other hand i really like the heartbreaking theory that they’re all infected and Paul just has to keep reliving the story of how he failed again and again for all eternity like ouch? But also? Its great in a painful way??

Um yeah so that’s that for my ranting (my 3 pages of notes became 7 pages with the rants included so sorry about that i just had so much to sayyyy

TLDR: paul and emma are cute thanks for coming to my ted talk

[gotham--fc]

There’s more games? Bro when 😭😂 Canada Hockey please just tell us when the girlies play please. and yeah campbells probs gonna be the third if she didn’t get a us game (did she get one in the two In usa?)

Oh yeah hope kills you off that’s why I have 0 expectations cause if they’re sh*t like the Habs are rn then it doesn’t hurt.

Ooo bro You can’t say that and not show the coin. 😂 but yeah omg both teams winning in 2010 in Canada must’ve been wild. Like crosbys goal looks wild. And I’ve seen reactions to mpps gold gwg in 2010 and 2014 and those seem boss too.

Fair enoug, I’m partial to a black jersey or like any jersey that has black in it so the red and black ones are my vibe. Tho Finland has won in the jerseys by miles 😂😂(is it bad I want them to get gold in one of the teams so I can see it with that medal😂). Also a really nice jersey (and I’m bias here) are the new iihf GB ones like the 2019-2021 ones like those are clean . And yep the USAs is disappointing but given they usually just slap USA on a blue jersey and be done with it I’m not surprised, like bro the vertical USA one from the juniors is nice us that design or do an eagle or something😂.

Wait wait wait there was a fight?? That’s amazing! Who won ? Did they get sent to the box? And ouch that American player is mean don’t touch fillier she’s like 12(?) (I have no clue how old she is I just know she’s one of the younger players (I think ))

Aww that sounds mad, that sound like a game I was in where the puck goes behind the goalie and it’s like ages waiting for it to go in.

Omg that’s amazing that’s some boss tactics there, make the coach and the equipment managers waddle to the bench across the ice 😂😂😂 I think I played in a rink like that but I was the away team 😢(my rinks like that too but for both teams so both managers have to waddle)

And it’s so fun to watch live right!! I haven’t watched one in ages (ones I play don’t count) so I can’t wait to start going again). I also feel like being in the crowd Live is so fun too cause of all the chants (a game I went to the crowd chirped the other team, our team, the refs and people in the crowd cause of the team on their jersey)

😂😂the fans look boss , team Canada fans for team Canada fans !🏒 which goalie we’re you behind ?

Yeah I think they play 2 more times in Canada and then I think 3 games in the US, I think you can find the schedule online? If you google hockey Canada women’s rivalry series schedule hold on let me just

There we go! There’s no times but at least you’ll know days

Campbell didn’t play at all in the last 2 games, it was maschmeyer in Kingston and desbiens in Ottawa, it’s disappointing because I wanted her to get a shot and yeah there’s more games but they said the final rosters will be announced mid December so it’s pretty obvious she won’t be on it 😔

And you’re so right how dare I not include a picture

You’ll have to zoom in to see details but !!! My coins !!! If you want to see the other coins I have I will readily share I’m always down to talk about my coins

Even though it’s expected for us to do good in hockey because cmon we invented it it’s still crazy when we win

Okay yeah gb’s jerseys are sick they should go to the Olympics just for that jersey enough of these boring ass jerseys give me spice!! Give me cool designs!! The Canada ones aren’t bad….. but they’re boring to me like it’s all one colour and just a single maple leaf like they could do better, I also thought it was funny that they were hyping up the reveal at the game and they were like it isn’t like anything we’ve ever done before and as soon as the reveal happened I was like well maybe there’s a reason you’ve never done it before 😂

Yes!!!! Fights!!! The one in the first period was right at Canada’s net, it was the kinda thing where desbiens had the puck and the us players poked at her you know as they do but it was funny because Jenner was the one who started the fight like she threw herself on top of the us player but it was Clark who took her gloves off and actually threw punches with the us player so she got the pen, the us player got one too so it was 4 on 4, but if you ask me Clark was innocent!! But the us player literally threw her gloves like they went flying I think it was either knight or stecklein who had to pick up her gloves and bring them to the penalty box because she threw them so far

But I don’t know for sure who went after fillier but she was tall af and my heart says stecklein but that’s only because she took a lot of pens, I think fillier is a year older than me so 22, but it was crazy because there was 4 us players around her and the refs tried to break it up but the us player just put fillier in a headlock through the ref and as soon as they got split up all the Canada players just left so it was like tiny fillier surrounded by 4 giant us players but as soon as they split up they were both laughing and joking with each other I was like umm ma’ams you just tried to kill each other but now you’re bffs?? But there was a lot of hits in the game like a shit ton like they were out for blood

It just seems like a design flaw because the way to get to the visiting bench without going on the ice is from the opposite end of the rink than where the locker rooms are so the visiting coaches have to either waddle across the ice or walk all the way around the entire stadium but I won’t complain I enjoyed it 😂

And yes it was so awesome to watch it live!! The crowd was in to it!! We were cheering or booing every hit every time the us had the puck we were booing every time Canada had it we were cheering, we were letting the refs know what we thought about some of those calls though some of them were bs

I was behind the Canada net!! So thankfully all the goals were scored in the second so none were scored in front of me 😂 but that was also where the ice entrance from the locker rooms was so the players came on the ice right in front of me, but I’m so disappointed in myself because I don’t own a hockey jersey (yet Christmas is coming) but my dad does and I was home for Halloween and already had the tickets so I knew I was going but I completely forgot to borrow one of my dads jerseys so I just had to wear red and white but I felt like a fool because I could’ve had a jersey like my dad has multiple team Canada jerseys I’m disappointed in myself 😔

I don’t think or I don’t know if they aired the anthems on tv but in case they didn’t, the us was lined up for a while but Canada huddled around their net for a bit and then everyone skated past desbiens before going to line up and mpp and daoust were waiting to be the last ones but daoust realized very quick that they were starting the anthems so she just quick pat and then whipped it to get in line but mpp and desbiens didn’t realize so they stood there talking until the anthem actually started playing and I saw the “oh shit” look in mpp’s eyes and they both sprinted to get in line and get their helmets off but mpp couldn’t get hers like she was rushing to get it off so she wasn’t unclipping it right so she didn’t get her helmet off until well into the star spangled banner and I just thought that was funny 😂 captain Canada disrespecting the anthem

But for real like when her and desbiens realized what was happening like mpp had a moment of panic before it turned into laughing you know when you and your friend do something wrong and get caught and you both at each other and laugh because it’s like oh shit I can’t believe that just happened like that was mpp and desbiens it was *panic* *wait this is actually kinda funny* *now sprint* and you could tell everyone was giving mpp shit for not being able to get her helmet off 😂

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 2 Chapter 18

• Predictions I had made for the two Finale chapters (probs not on my blog but I did say this to several mutuals):

1. Chapter 18 would be filler, Chapter 19 would be likely where shit hits the fan.

2. Diamond scenes would be split between the chapters, 2 LIs per chapter: Hana and Maxwell this chapter, Drake and Liam next chapter.

3. Why? Because Drake was the only LI with a diamond scene last week, and because given how ominous Liam’s future would be, there is a chance they will up the drama/tragedy quotient by having his diamond scene just before it strikes (remember how we got a love scene just before the fiasco at Coronation??). Hana and Maxwell have not had diamond scenes since NY, so obviously they would get a lion’s share of this chapter.

4. LIs would have significant conversations with the MC about their relationship during the diamond scenes. The scenes will be priced at 30 diamonds each - that was exactly how much they priced “last moments with LI” in Book 1. (I see they didn't do this for Maxwell possibly because no sex compared to what the other LIs are getting) (Future prediction: I think Drake’s scene might have some stuff on his real role in court but I can’t be sure, and hopefully Liam’s will expand on family history).

5. Another future prediction: We may or may not get another plot related diamond scene (similar to Olivia’s in the Book 1 finale).

• I didn’t anticipate the impromptu photoshoot or Bertrand and Savannah reuniting or Madeleine appearing at the end (tho I wasn’t exactly surprised she did, we were bound to see her sometime or other). But the rest? On. The. Money 😎

• Okay let’s start this shizz fam!

• Today’s title: Noble At Heart. Though it actually should have been I Got Land and A Fancy Title Only Because Pixelberry Wants to Justify Getting Me Involved In Some Really Complicated Political Shit The Next Book.

• We’re still not done impressing people. In fact we’re never going to be done impressing people. I fail to understand why the MC is so surprised about this. Boo, this is what you signed up for by being royalty/nobility. You’re not GOING to have a life of your own from now on *shrug*.

•

The epic shade Bertrand Beaumont, Duke of Ramsford, gave to Prince Leo tho 😂

•

I KNEW naming my duchy Daniel Henney was a good idea! 😁😁😁

• There are mixed responses on Liam’s new suit but I kinda like it? It defines his chest quite nicely I think xD xD I wish it had been a slightly duller/lighter shade of blue tho, similar to what we saw on the cover. The blue suit on the cover wasn’t this bright.

• I really wish his bow could have been silver instead of gold though? Blue and silver are Cordonia’s national colours and it would have been fitting to have him wear those to the Homecoming Ball.

• Also I think the extra diamond scene if you’re engaged to Liam is such a lovely bonus, even if I think the dress for that picture was a little too top-heavy for my tastes and WTF why does my MC have two left hands. But the picture looked sweet xD

(See the skirts are flowy and wonderful and the sleeves are lovely but I feel like there’s too much going on with the bodice!)

• Sample this dialogue exchange (if the MC says “we would have still found a way to be with each other”):

Liam: I know we have our share of history [in the palace ballroom], but to me, it will always be the place where I first saw you in Cordonia…the moment I realized you had come into my life to stay. Since then, I’d wondered time and again if I would ever stand beside you like this. Now that we’re engaged, there are a million memories I want to make with you.

MC: No matter how bleak things were, or how hard it got…I knew we’d find a way through.

Brb crying 😭😭😭😭

• I have a feeling there might be some emotional importance to this photograph later if you buy it - esp if something happens to Liam or they are not able to get married yet. It could be a reminder of happier, more hopeful times, or Liam could look at this and view it as motivation for a future he wants to give the MC. IDK how it will work out but it would be great if they did that.

• MC: Together, we’ll be unstoppable.

Liam: I think we already are.

Hold on to that thought, you two. You’ll need to prove it pretty soon the way this book is going.

• @feisty-mary pointed out that we get a caption for impressing Justin and speculated on a likelihood that it might have some importance in the future. That kinda depends on how the writers are going to spin his cryptic “our paths may cross again”. Ally? Enemy? He’s like Madeleine now, you don’t know yet which direction this character will be headed.

• Why did they make Hana’s selection look like an over-frosted cupcake? 😣 Stop doing my fashion queen dirty.

• Olivia’s selection was nice but I’m not sure about the tiaras for either.

• It’s interesting how they have gowns that are custom-made to suit what Liam is wearing (Hana mentions this): the pink gown I’m guessing is meant to suit Liam’s blue suit overall, and the gold one to match his bow.

• Fam this tiara is clashing with my pretty gold hairclip help.

• Now that Olivia has found out who was responsible for the threats, can’t do anything about it because it would hurt Liam, and basically feels she has nothing left to investigate, her work seems done. But is it really?

• There’s still so much story left to Olivia. Esp re: her parents. That’s why they’re keeping her appearances limited to just helping the MC this book. Book 2 is supposed to be about the MC clearing her name and defining her relationships, but Book 3 will undeniably be about Cordonia. Olivia’s story is a big part of that history so I guess it makes sense for them to put it off till then. @ladynevrakis and I have this theory going on about how Olivia’s parents might have been trying to protect Liam’s mom - I personally think that would be a great way to tie those two stories together!

• Only Olivia Vanderwall Nevrakis, Duchess of Lythikos, would suggest placing her future queen in a dungeon. Only Olivia 😂

• I’m not going to say much about the Hana lake scene, esp since it’s largely a sex scene and the non-diamond buildup is just as important, BUT HANA STANS CONGRATULATIONS I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

• So Hana’s going to stay with us, Drake might stay/visit, Maxwell might visit, Olivia might return to court when she hears about Liam and Liam…man that depends on what happens next chapter 😟 So we’re kinda starting to get a clearer idea of where the gang will be at.

• The scene with the guys, Bertrand, Savannah and Bartie was sweet, but my lack of investment in Bertrand/Savannah doesn’t really let me enjoy it. I think PB did all three characters (Bertrand, Savannah, Maxwell) a disservice by handling that story the way they did. Savannah’s story started out as this very emotionally charged mystery that kept Drake going in Book 1, and people got invested enough, but IMO it was handled so shoddily you end up feeling irritated at Savannah and Maxwell for how they handled things, and saddened because Bertrand’s entire character gets shortchanged so that the only thing he seems to care about anymore is Savannah (which is fine, but the reason I liked Bertrand in the first place was the way he was depicted before she came along). So Savannah is still a big part of Drake’s story, and the Beaumont brothers’ history, but the investment in her is simply not there anymore. At least for me. Sigh.

• Also CONGRATULATIONS MAXWELL STANS! The screenshots I saw looked sweet and I’m glad they had that all-important chat about how they want to move forward. I’m guessing Maxwell’s relationship will take time since they’d just confessed to their feelings in NY and they’d need a lot more development as a couple before they reach that stage. But I’m guessing that will happen in Book 3! Splurge on those diamond development scenes like your life depends on it till then! XD

•

If Liam is sending his personal security detail to guard me…then who’s guarding Liam?? 😱 😱 😱

• Adeleide looks very happy for the mother of a thwarted almost-queen. But she did mention that becoming royalty was changing Madeleine for the worse so I’m guessing she thinks her daughter almost dodged a bullet there. Plus, free booze.

This is Adeleide when she talks about Madeleine.

• I’m totally waiting for you to get that “hip hopera” of yours’ ready, Maxwell. Like Elvis Presley would say…

• I like the idea of Bertrand getting some love in his life…I just want to be able to enjoy the good ol’ curmudgeony go-getter Bertrand we all grew to love while we’re at it. Is that too much to ask for, PB? Is it?

• “Will Madeleine spoil your big night?” - I don’t think you would have placed her so early in the next chapter if that was the case, PB, cmon (then again, the message at the end of Chapter 18 last book didn’t sound that threatening either and look what happened there. So I could be wrong). Plus, I think we have bigger threats to worry about, threats we don’t even know about yet.

• So I saw a screenshot of what would happen if you’re with Liam and tell Hana you still want her, and she seems okay with it. I have the same problems with this scene that I have with the other scene - in fact more so because at this stage the MC is officially engaged to the other LI. But you know what worries me more? That there was such an intense reaction when Liam did it (including people stating they were glad they did not choose him and comments on Liam’s “integrity” - thankfully most of the people I followed pointed out how OOC it was) but almost-radio-silence when it came to the other LIs doing the same thing. I mean Drake last chapter still got to imply that he’d be more than happy to take us up on that offer if we chose the “tour of the room” option, and Hana here immediately agrees to what the MC wants if she implies that she is willing to cheat on Liam with her (unless the MC has Liam’s consent on this, that’s what it is). Very few actually commented on either. That’s not fair, fam. You can’t hold one LI accountable for something like this and not say anything about the others.

(People who may have taken the option to have sex with Liam while being with the other LI, and continued the chapter, does the MC inform their LI about this development?)

For me, the problem in both cases is that the MC doesn’t bother to ask the other person. She doesn’t say “look this is what I want to do, but I want to talk to both you and my fiance before I move forward”. She just takes what she wants from whoever she wants and the LIs just let her. It makes me feel sorry for them and really angry at her.

• Is it me or will Hana have an outdoor kink too? Homegirl has her first time with the woman she loves just as the setting sun kisses the lake xD

• Next chapters the finale, fam. The sex is going to be HELLA. The drama is going to be HELLA. And the wait for Book 3 is going to be…not hella.

• Will Liam finally have sex with my MC in a bedroom? Or will we find some other nice outdoorsy place since the hedge maze is already done? Whatever it is, we’d better get a scene absolutely worth 30 diamonds. No fade-to-black bullshit. LIAM STANS WILL RIOT.

• This is my MC to Liam next chapter:

Credit to @callmetippytumbles the genius who began the trend of putting gifs on her “Thoughts” posts. I can’t imagine NOT using them now thanks to you 😂

[winking]

do a who u think will be the finalists vs who you actually want to be in

oh i love this and i think abt it every minute…get ready! not rlly in order -my ideal/yet realistic lineup!!!!!!!1. gaeun.. i feel like she hasn’t done much lately but she will rot in pledis cmon guys… i think she will make it if she doesn’t i’ll cry2. nako…. i’m pretty sure she’s like everyones favorite japanese trainee ik sakura is probably the most famous but nako is probs the most liked .. 3. sakura, speaking of sakura wjjskw i like her and if she doesn’t end up in the final lineup there will a riot 4. eunbi.. she’s been dropping but i rlly can’t imagine her not debuting isn’t that weird? i just hope she rises again last ep 5. wonyoung… 😖😖ily 6. chaeyeon… honestly chaeyeon better not pull a samuel i think .. it’s not the same cause samuels ranking was always weird but chaeyeon made everyone fall in love w her at the end i think she has way better chances to debut now 7. miru …. another one i can’t imagine not debuting sjdjw i rlly hope she does :((((((8. okay hyewon .. i didn’t like her at first but i like her now wjdjjw i think i see the appeal to her now and she’s cute … i don’t think she will suddenly drop 9-12, who i think have the best chances but i’m not sure!!!! hitomi (always in lower ranks, 12) miu (suddenly everyone’s it girl), miyu (ranked high again but might not do good cause of last ep editing), miho (i don’t like her sorry but :/) yena (i think she can rise last min) yujin (has been in top 12 if she doesn’t debut will b disappointing)…………. the last girls i don’t think have a good chance debuting … maybe yuri but their ranks r low unless they do really good suddenly they can pull a sungwoon/baejin … minju chaewon yuri juri haeyoon … in the end anything can happen!!!! cause somethings to keep in mind… the ratio rn is 7:5 and … i heard koreans weren’t happy abt that ? cause it’s a kpop group but like it’s not rlly so mayb in the end the final lineup is gonna look rlly different… also read the voting period ends before the final broadcast which i find interesting cause last yr is why sungwoon and baejin did rlly well idk if this is true though but if it is …. if someone does well as center they won’t be able to debut 😔😔and finally uhh my favorites i’ll just post the picture!!!

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 33: Declarations 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Implied/Mentioned abuse, mentions of terrorism, death mention, injury mention, depiction of an emotional breakdown, trauma aftermath; Illustrated; Pesterlog

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

— carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling tipsyGnostalgic [TG] —

CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

— tipsyGnostalgic [TG] is an idle chum! —

CG: FUCK YOU, I CAN SEE THAT FOR MYSELF, YOU PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM. I’M GONNA FUCKING YELL ANYWAY.

CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PICK ME UP AT NOON. IT’S LIKE, 1:30 AND YOU STILL AREN’T HERE, WHAT GIVES?

CG: IF YOU GOT KIDNAPPED, TOO, I SWEAR TO FUCK I’M PERSONALLY PUTTING THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN FAMILY UNDER PERMANENT WATCH.

CG: I’M NOT ABOVE SITTING ON YOU ASSHOLES IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES.

TG: okay first off i know youre like a literal alien but heres a protip for ya:

TG: general human earth etiquette is to not text people who you know are probably driving?

TG: its like a whole thing

CG: WHY

TG: idk probs because texting while driving’s a great way to fucking crash lol

TG: anyway!!

TG: yeah im real sorry about that mom fucking rang me up like

TG: hi im at the airport come get me!

TG: out of fucking nowhere because everything has to be a fucking hassle with this woman

TG: so i had to go get her

CG: WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE AT THE AIRPORT?

TG: because fuck me is why

TG: and THEN shes like

TG: ooooh i gotta do some mysterious whatthefuckever errand at some mall out in the middle of nowhere

TG: so now im sitting in the parking lot waiting for her to get back which might be a while because her bad leg’s been acting up lately

TG: and thats why im not there yet >:(

CG: WAIT. WAIT, HOLD ON, I’M CONFUSED.

CG: BY “MOM” ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT RACHEL? I DIDN’T EVEN THINK SHE HAD A BAD LEG.

TG: nonono

TG: ray is like. dirk and dave and rose’s mom

TG: i dont call her mom i just call her aunt ray cuz shes not my mom yknow

TG: my mom is aunt ray’s sister

TG: aunt ramona? they talk about her?

CG: OOOOOOH. YEAH.

CG: THE WOMAN WHO WRITES THOSE SHITTY SUPERNATURAL ROMANCE BOOKS KANAYA LOVES.

TG: hahaha yeah her trashy shit is great

CG: SHE’S HERE?

TG: apparently!!!!!!!!

CG: I’M SENSING SOME BITTERNESS.

TG: ugh its fine she just always does shit like this

TG: womans always gotta make a fuckin entrance even if that means not telling anyone shes coming

TG: and its goddamn annoying as shit!!

TG: but its fine i get it shes here to help out and we are kinda all hands on deck

TG: speaking of tho i heard something about kanaya not coming along after all?

CG: NOT YET, NO.

CG: SHE’S BEEN TALKING TO ROSE, AND APPARENTLY DAVE’S BEEN PRETTY UNEASY WITH THE NUMBER OF NEW FACES AT THE HIVE.

CG: HOUSE. WHATEVER.

CG: TEREZI’S PROTECTION DETAIL HAS HIM KIND OF ON EDGE, I GUESS?

CG: SHE’S GONNA COME AROUND LATER PROBABLY. AND MIGHT END UP STAYING WITH PORRIM AND KEEP IT TO VISITS, AT LEAST UNTIL THINGS SETTLE DOWN A BIT.

CG: SO IT’S JUST ME FOR NOW.

TG: ooooh yeah geez i bet

TG: poor dave :( :( :(

TG: i gotta tell you and mom some uh. serious shit about him when i pick you both up

TG: id pass it on here but its probs better if i just tell you face to face?

CG: OH, WONDERFUL!

CG: MORE NO DOUBT HORRIFIC NEWS REGARDING DAVE.

CG: I CAN’T WAIT. THIS PANIC ATTACK’S GONNA BE ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS, I CAN JUST FEEL IT!!!

TG: :(

TG: tl;dr hes not in great shape but hes getting better but theres some stuff we gotta go over

TG: jfc mom what the fuck are you doing its been ages

CG: SO WAIT. SHE JUST HAD YOU DRIVE HER OUT SOMEWHERE AND WALKED OFF ALONE?

TG: yeah

TG: woman can take care of herself just fine so like im not worried??

TG: but still, like. cmon woman!!! whatever it is hurry up a little

TG: it cant be that important we got places to be

In terms of location, it was almost an outlet mall; somewhat detached from the nearest city and surrounded by forest. It was mostly all one building, positioned in a dip in the ground next to a clear stream, and these features had helped make it a serviceable fortress during the invasion, although Derek had regularly complained that he’d have preferred a site that held the high ground. Still, they’d made do; the roof was high enough that one could see for quite some distance, the stream offered fresh water, the trees provided decent enough cover during skirmishes, and the walls were thick enough to turn away most weather and weapons. It hadn’t been much, but it had served well enough as home for six years for around threescore ragtag survivors-turned-fighters.

Out in the surrounding forest, those who hadn’t survived that conflict still lay buried in pitiful graves marked only with a stone or a chunk of wood. There hadn’t been time to properly put anyone to rest; it had been risky enough for two or three people to slip out during a stretch of quiet with a shovel and a body. They simply hadn’t been able to afford to have any sort of formal burial, not with the threat of an attack constantly looming.

Even so, even so…

Derek had picked a spot he would remember.

In life, the oak tree would have been the kind people would have thought of as a monarch, with branches spread wide and gnarled wood ancient and strong, holding children in its branches as easily as if they were made of nothing; but the tree had already been dead by the time the invasion started, a great, ancient, dried-out husk. Even so, decades later, it still stood, its branches reaching toward the sky, the other trees forming a circle around it as though too respectful to come too close. Mushrooms and trails of greenery crept about a quarter of the way up the ancient trunk.

At its roots, a rotting wooden spar stuck up out of the ground. This, too, had been reclaimed by flowers, grasses and mushrooms, decorating the splintered and decayed timber with dark summer greens and pale white-and-lavender blooms.

Derek Strider, down on one knee with his sheathed sword held in his right hand, sighed. Of course, the trouble with having to bury the dead so hastily meant that there’d been no one to look over the graves, so it was to be expected that it be in such disrepair, but even so, seeing this one choked out by the invading flora was…

It wasn’t right.

Overhead, the ancient branches rustled slightly, and the raucous calling of a bird broke the silence. Derek narrowed his eyes and ignored it, tried to write the disrespectful noise out of the scene.

The crow seemed to have other ideas. The bird lighted down on the wooden grave marker, red eyes fixed on Derek’s face. It flapped its wings a few times, cawing incessantly. Derek scowled, unsheathed his sword, and struck —

The blade passed through the bird with no resistance whatsoever. The creature’s body split in two, bloodlessly, as though Derek had cut through smoke — it even looked like smoke, like a cloud cut in two by a passing jet. As Derek looked on, uncomprehending and with a growing sense of dread, the bird’s body seemed to pull itself back together, a video played in reverse, and the bird’s accusatory squawks started up again as though nothing had happened.

Derek was on his feet in an instance, stepping away from the beast, and as he did, he happened to look up…

Perched on nearly every branch of the old tree were ravens. Unlike the crow, they were all silent, and aside from the occasional shifting of a foot or tilting of a head, motionless. Scores of staring animal eyes bored into him.

Derek had never been a superstitious man, but nor was he the sort of fool to ignore the truth his own eyes showed him. He’d spent six years fighting alongside a witch, and seen enough to learn that some things really couldn’t be explained away as coincidence.

Had it been anyone else, he would have responded to the sound of footsteps approaching this site with a furious attack; even Ben knew better than to disturb him here. But when he whirled to face the intruder, he froze.

She’d aged more since he’d last seen her than he would have expected. Hints of silver streaked her hair, and she leaned heavily on her gnarled black cane. A faint breeze stirred the black fabric of her dress, playing with the light shawl laying across her shoulders. The crow had fallen silent.

“Put that thing away before you take someone’s eye out,” said Ramona, nodding nonchalantly at Derek’s sword.

Derek narrowed his eyes, and did not respond aloud, instead choosing to slowly and deliberately slide the sword back into its sheathe. Only after his left hand had returned to his side did Ramona nod and continue.

“That’s better,” she said. “Now we can talk things over like reasonable adults. Mind you, I ought to do the world a favor and wipe you out right now,” and Derek took a slow, deep breath at that, as she continued, “But I’d prefer not to desecrate your brother’s grave by staining it with your blood. I respect him far too much for that. You, however, have somehow managed to exceed all of my worst expectations to a nearly unfathomable degree, as of late. I’ve held off on this confrontation out of respect for the past, but I can see now that this was a mistake.”

Derek shifted. “Everything I’ve done has been to protect our damn planet, Ramona,” he started, but was cut off.

“Really?” she said, “Well, then. I’m not about to attempt to ask you to cease killing trolls, as we both know that would be pointless, but I would very much like to know how exactly burning your own son alive plays into your grand battle strategy?”

“He…he turned on us,” Derek said, through gritted teeth, “He forced my hand, left me no choice!”

“He is a child!” Ramona snapped. “And you, of all people, should know better! If you really must follow this path of self-destruction to its end, fine, but he should never have been involved!”

“I—”

“And in any case, you had a perfectly good sword on hand, I’m sure. If young Dave really did need to die, you could have executed him with minimal pain, but no, you wanted him to hurt, to know he was dying and to fear you and suffer as he passed. How do you justify that, Derek? How does anyone, especially a child, deserve anything of the sort?”

The eyes of the ravens and that damned crow still drilled into him. He could feel the stares on his back, but kept his eyes locked on Ramona’s, refusing to back down.

He wasn’t going to take back what he’d done. There’d be no guilt, he’d done nothing wrong except overreact a bit. It was justified. That…that boy wasn’t Dave. Ramona was using the name like a blade, but she’d not win that way. He didn’t deserve the fucking name, didn’t deserve to have anything to do with Dave, he never would have let Rachel name the kid that if he’d known he was going to grow up to be such a pathetic, useless little coward.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” he said.

“No, I suppose you don’t,” said Ramona, folding her hands over the top of her cane. “I’ve a fairly good idea, in any case.” She sighed. “The war is over, Derek. The time to put aside this violence and misery is long since behind us. Our children do not deserve to grow up as we did.”

“The trolls are still here,” Derek spat.

There was a long silence. Ramona sighed again.

“Fine, then,” she said, “So be it. Do as you will. Chase violence as long as you like. But if you come near my family again, I will consider it an act of war.”

She turned, and he was tempted to take the bait, to try attacking her while her back was turned, but he held still. It was infuriating, knowing what a pointed insult turning her back on him was, knowing that she knew he would not risk attacking her—but she was right. She was much too dangerous.

“Come along, little one,” she said, abruptly. The crow rose off the grave and flew to land on top of Ramona’s cane. If Derek had cared to pay any attention, he might have noticed the crow look back at him with something like regret in its eyes, but Derek was already far too lost in his own thoughts.

As one bird, the ravens took wing, dispersing in all directions, leaving him alone again.

The trouble with trying to go from Alternian to English was a multifaceted one, to be sure, but so far the most obnoxious piece of it that Karkat could see was the tendency of guides on how to speak English to simply use the closest Alternian equivalent as an English word’s translation. More and more, the two languages were notably extremely different, and while he could speak English well enough that he’d never had any serious problems, there were any number of words that he kept tripping over as a result of a translation being extremely unclear and culturally misleading.

Witches, for instance, were clearly something very different on Earth. The Alternian word that was translated to English as “witch” was, like most Alternian words, a series of noises in the ‘click and growl’ family that most humans lacked the anatomy to create, and generally refered to certain lowblood prophets and healers in Alternian folklore. They were those who lived away from society and who, through some lucky genetics and convenient psychic powers, were able to fend of drones and effectively disappear from the world at large’s knowledge. They kept to themselves, sought to harm no one who didn’t attack them first, offered shelter to the weak and the hunted, and as such were always portrayed as utterly despicable beings in fiction, as no writer with any sense of self-preservation had dared to portray such reckless treachery under the rule of the last Condesce. There might have been some changes to the lore under the new one’s rule, but things like that changed slow.

In any case, they certainly weren’t anything like the old woman in a shawl who was sitting next to Roxy in the front of her car.

She was dressed all in black, for one thing. Alternian witches didn’t tend to wear much black. Some Alternian witches didn’t tend to wear all that much clothing at all, really. Most seemed to belong to ancient religions that weren’t particularly fond of shirts.

Ramona was definitely magic as shit, though, Rachel’d been right about that much. Was that all a witch was on Earth, just someone with magic? Fuck, if that were the case, then probably like at least a third of all trolls were witches by Earth’s standards. Then again, maybe magic was another poorly translated word? English didn’t seem to have a word to separate “things that we (read: trolls) know exist, like psychic powers and psiionics and ghosts and chucklevoodoos,” and “things that are super fake and don’t actually happen ever and make no sense.”

Whatever. In any case, Ramona didn’t look at all like Karkat had expected, and when he climbed into the back of the car, she didn’t react to his presence with anything stronger than an amiable nod. She seemed to have her mind on other things, and was largely silent at first.

Roxy wasn’t; she immediately piped up happily as Karkat swung open the door with a “Hey, man! Sorry about taking so long! Can you, uh, do me a favor and check on Jaspers? He’s in the carrier behind Mom, Rose asked me to pick him up while she and Aunt Ray were gone. He’s been missing them a lot, all staring out the window and kneading his blanket and shit, and he’s not a huge fan of car rides.”

“He’s asleep,” Karkat said after glancing into the little crate.

“Awesome. Alright, buckle up and we’ll get this damn show on the road.”

“On the road again, just can’t wait to get on—”

Karkat tilted his head as the car’s radio abruptly changed from quietly playing some human pop song over to something much louder and completely different. Ramona stifled a snort as Roxy stabbed a button, switching the radio back to the previous channel.

“No, thank you,” she said, glaring. “Christ, the fuck is with this thing today, I swear to god.”

“I suppose it may simply be getting into the spirit of things,” said Ramona with a smile. As the car pulled away from the curb, she turned back a bit to face Karkat. “It’s Karkat, isn’t it? Rachel’s been sending me any number of emails with updates, and from the sound of things, you’ve been rather instrumental in bringing young Dave back into the fold, so to speak.”

“…Into the what?”

“It’s a figure of speech, meaning in this case that you’ve helped us return him home as well as helping him to adjust to being there,” she said. “For which you have all of our heartfelt thanks. Ours is perhaps not the most functional of families, but it  is ours, and as I’m sure you’ve seen firsthand, ripping away a piece of it the way Derek did has had some very painful consequences for all involved. We owe you a great deal.”

“Yeah, man!” Roxy said. “And from what Rose has been telling me, you were kind of a big part of why he finally spilled what he knows. Which, he did bee-tee-dubs, which means he’s off house arrest finally, so that’s good—”

“—And a partridge in a pear tree,” the radio crackled.

“What the fuck? It’s August,” Roxy scowled. She turned the radio off altogether as Ramona glanced hurriedly out the window.

“Speaking of Dave,” Karkat said, hopefully before anyone got distracted again, “Roxy, you mentioned that there was something that you needed to say face to face?”

“Right, shoot, yeah,” said Roxy. The car turned onto the long road that led eventually to the Lalonde hive. “Okay, so, like. There’s definitely some shit you should know before we get there, but I wanna preface it all real clearly by saying that Dave’s okay, y’know? He’s got a lot of healing to do, but the doctors said that as long as he’s looked after and we change bandages and shit and he gets plenty of rest, he’s definitely not in any danger anymore. He’s…weak, but he’s not like gonna keel over at any moment, okay?”

“Not actually making me feel any better, Roxy!” said Karkat. Oh, boy, with a preface like that…

“Well, fuck, I tried, I guess. Uh. So, Dave did get hurt…pretty bad, and there were some other complications—oh, for fuck’s sake!!”

“Watch me, watch me, hey, watch me, watch me!” The radio was louder than ever. Ramona’s hand flew up, poorly hiding a grin.

Karkat leaned around Roxy’s seat to glare at her.

“What the fuck, Roxy,” said Karkat.

“I’m not doing this!” Roxy said, waving her hand wildly. “I swear to fuck, I wouldn’t! I really do need to pass on some shit about poor Dave, and the radio’s never done this before? It’s been acting up since a little before we picked you up, keeps changing on its own and shit, augh!”

She fought with the controls, but the song stopped only for a moment before getting even louder.

“Why the fuck do you humans even have this obnoxious song?! Who listens to this?? It’s literally just some squawking wiggler screeching for its lusus’s attention!”

“I mean, I kinda love it for that honestly, it’s terrible and stupid and wonderful, but like, come the fuck on??? What’s with this thing?! Now is not the time!”

“Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass—“

“GOD, that’s even worse!!” Roxy yelled, slamming her fist down on the dashboard. “Fucking stop!!”

“That’s enough for now,” Ramona said, almost murmuring it.

The radio turned off. Karkat and Roxy both turned a suspicious eye on Ramona, and with equal simultaneity, decided to drop it for now.

“Anyway,” Roxy said slowly, “What I was trying to say is, um…Karkat, do you know what it means for someone to ‘flatline?’ Because, um. Dave kinda did, for like, a minute and a half.”

Karkat shook his head, realized Roxy probably couldn’t see him with her eyes on the road, and said, “Uh, I have no idea what that word means, no.”

“Well, um…”

“It refers to a heart monitor indicating that the heart has ceased beating,” Ramona said. “The machine indicates activity with a line which shows peaks and valleys, and it goes flat when that activity has stopped, thus, ‘flatline’. The organ we call a heart serves an equivalent function to what trolls call a ‘blood pusher’ or a ‘pump biscuit.’”

Karkat felt for a moment like his own pump biscuit had stopped.

“Shit, Mom, when did you get so good at translating to trolls?” Roxy murmured.

Ramona shrugged. “I’ve made efforts to reach out,” she said. “The war ended, after all, and since we’re allies now, it doesn’t hurt to learn about each others’ cultures.”

“His fucking—What?!” Karkat screeched, unable to keep the harsh buzzing whine out of his voice. God, that was such a moirail noise, and any other time he’d have yelled at himself for not keeping it under control, but not now, not when… “His fucking blood pusher stopped and I’m supposed to be calm!?!”

“They got it moving again!” Roxy said. “He’s okay now, the doctors said it was going strong! It was, um, mostly just exhaustion, they think? Like, the burn wounds could’ve killed him on their own, sure, but they got on those quick enough that if he’d been healthy to begin with he probably wouldn’t have been so bad off? But between ten years of, you know…and just, apparently he hasn’t been eating enough even while he’s been back with us? And Ray’s gonna get on his ass about that, but, just—look, the thing is, Dirk doesn’t know about this yet, and Aunt Ray’s asked that we try to keep it that way, and I don’t really get why but I think she has her reasons?”

Karkat was definitely hyperventilating, oh fuck, oh fuck—Ramona’s hand reached back to touch his own, snapping him out of it.

“It’s fine to be worried,” she said, gentle. “I promise you, though, it is as Roxy says: he’ll be fine given time to recover and the safety with which to do so. He’ll be alive when we get there.” She sat back in her chair, turning towards the road again. “As for Dirk, I suspect Rachel is waiting for things to settle down before breaking it to him gently. He is, for better or worse, very like his father, and Derek handled his brother’s death poorly, in large part because at the time we could not afford to mourn. Rachel probably wants to make sure that Dirk does not feel he has to force himself to be strong when she tells him.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Roxy muttered. “Anyway, the main thing about that is that he’s not got a lot of energy right now, so don’t…take it personally if he just falls asleep on you sometimes? Especially with the painkillers he’s on, apparently that’s a side effect, too. He can walk short distances, but he gets wobbly quick and needs help sometimes, so there’s that too.”

“Fuck,” said Karkat, softly.

The next ten minutes of the ride were carried out in tense silence. This was broken by the radio once again bursting back on and blasting the ass song again, at which point Roxy threatened to pull over and smash the fucking thing to smithereens.

By the time they actually got to the fucking house, Karkat felt like his soul was going to vibrate right out of his fucking body with impatience. They had yet another delay in the form of Terezi’s protection detail—Terezi herself wasn’t there, but some officers were, and they insisted on knowing about any weapons the three of them had as well as names, and went in to check with the family while making them all wait outside by the car. Karkat already had his fucking bag in hand, he was ready to go, but no, they had to go through this tedious procedure! Sure, it was probably a smart move, and when he was feeling a little more sensible he’d be more okay with it as it was the sort of thing that probably would make them all feel a bit safer (especially poor fucking Dave), but right now the were a pain in the ass and he was going to fucking explode!!! If they didn’t!!! Let him get in the fucking hive!!!!!

Rose stepped out as they were still talking to the police, and for the first time in his life Karkat was unspeakably happy to see her. She quickly confirmed to the police that all three of them were in fact expected and trusted by this household, and then gently let Jaspers out of his carrier. The cat immediately yowled and threw himself into her arms, kneading at her shoulders and rubbing his face against hers, and it all would have been super cute if Karkat didn’t have his mind on other fucking things.

“Come on in,” Rose said, nodding towards the door. “Dirk’s on the couch and Dave’s in Mom’s room, as neither of them can handle stairs right now and Dave needs his bandages changed at least twice a day. Karkat, do you—”

She was talking to air. He was already in the fucking door.

And then had to face the fact that he’d never actually been to Rachel’s room. Fuck. Rachel was coming up the hall, though, and a slightly bewildered young human (wait, fuck, that was Dirk, what happened to his hair? It looked so weird hanging down like that instead of spiked up) was sitting on the couch with an Earth husktop on his lap. Roxy pushed in the door with Ramona right behind her, dropped a heavy wheeled bag right next to the door, and immediately launched herself at Dirk, who gave a startled yelp as she did so.

Rachel rested a hand on Karkat’s shoulder as she passed him, rushing up toward Ramona throwing her arms around her shoulders. The two shared a long hug, and Rachel kissed Ramona’s cheek.

“God, I’m so glad you’re here,” Karkat heard Rachel murmur, before Rose tapped his shoulder.

“I was asking if you knew where Mom’s room is,” Rose said.

“Uh.”

“It’s down the hall to the observatory, but you take a left before you get to it. Make sure to make plenty of noise on the way over, Dave gets really jumpy when he’s the only person in that room. He can’t block the door since we need to be able to come in and out, and it’s got him a bit on edge.”

Karkat nodded, unable to get any words out past the lump in his throat. He more or less just dropped his bag on the ground and pushed past, zooming around toward the room indicated. Dave looked half-asleep when Karkat pushed the door open, and waved as he sat up with some effort.

God, the photo Rose had taken didn’t do justice to how fucking bad he looked. There were bruises across his face and neck turned a weird greenish-gray but still dark against his skin, and bandages everywhere, his hair was a mess (although that might have just been from sleeping). He was in some oversized shirt with an Earth hoofbeast on the front that was probably Dirk’s judging by the size, and Karkat had no idea why Dave had it on but right now he didn’t care.

“Hey, man, uh. Shit’s been crazy, huh?” Dave said with an awkward grin. He didn’t have his shades on either, which made sense if he’d been sleeping, except they weren’t on the bedside table (which did instead contain a nearly empty glass of water, several bottles of pills and salves, and a first aid kit from which clean cloth bandages overflowed).

Two weeks of emotion boiled over all at once. Wordless, Karkat stomped across the room and grabbed Dave’s stupid fucking shirt in both hands and tugged him close.

“It was three days, Dave,” Karkat hissed.

“Wha—?”

“Three days! And you got yourself fucking kidnapped by a terrorist on day goddamn two!! What the fuck, Dave?!” His voice was threatening to abandon him, but Karkat forced it right back into place by sheer willpower. This tangent would not be fucking stopped, hell no. “I take my eyes off of you for two days, and you get yourself into shit again! What the fuck!!! Do you have any idea how-how fucking agonizing it’s been waiting for news?! And you’re just sitting there like ‘Oh, hey! What’s up?’ What’s up is my foot up your waste chute, you hopeless fucking—!” Okay, nope, his voice was leaving after all, actually. He felt tears roll down his face, and he should’ve been more worried about that, but Dave already knew about his blood color and he was the only troll in the house right now, so, fuck it, fuck it all! Helpless, he tugged Dave closer again, letting his face press against that stupid shirt, claws still twisted into the fabric as he sobbed.

“Holy shit,” Dave muttered.

“I was so fucking scared,” Karkat gasped. This was pathetic, they weren’t remotely a couple, Karkat had no right to be this worked up and he knew it, but…Dave wasn’t exactly pushing him away, either, was he?

“I’m sorry, man, I didn’t even…It wasn’t planned this time, it just sorta happened, and Dirk got hurt, and I…”

“I’m not actually angry at you, despite having so much right to be that legislacerators everywhere have preemptively declared me innocent. I’m just fucking screaming for the sake of it, dumbass.”

“Oh.”

The awkward pause that followed was filled with only the sound of Karkat’s weeping, which, fuck, he was probably too fucking embarrassed to tell him off. Except…Dave’s hand lifted up to rest gently against Karkat’s back, so, maybe he didn’t mind that much? Was that wishful thinking?

“Sorry for this,” he said, just in case, as he pulled away a bit. “It’s really fucking embarrassing, I know, I just…”

“It’s cool, man,” said Dave. Then, with a wink, he said, “I know you got your massive Strider homocrush, it’s only natural—”

“Dave, I swear to fuck, injured or not, I will pummel you into dust with a fucking pillow, don’t test me!” Karkat snapped.

Dave snorted. “Hey, man, it’s fine, everyone’s allowed to be a lil gay sometimes with their friends, it’s only natural.”

“I’ll ‘natural’ you!! Motherfucker, I spent the two weeks worrying about your wellbeing and you come at me with more of this bullshit!!”

Dave cackled with laughter. Karkat rolled his eyes and sniffled. He feigned annoyance as best he could, but, God, it was such a relief to hear Dave laugh. Rubbing a sweater sleeve furiously across his eyes, Karkat pulled back, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed. “Okay, but seriously, what’s with the shirt?” he asked, gesturing at the floating head of the hoofbeast. It wasn’t even a joke or a drawing. It was just…a straight photo of a hoofbeast’s face, with no text or explanation of any sort. What the fuck??

Dave glanced down, and snickered. “Oh, shit. Uh, yeah, we needed something that’s easy to get me in and out of, since the bandages on this fuckin’ burn need to be changed like, a lot, not to mention the gross-ass cream they have us slathering all over it on the regular. We tried a button down, but the buttons were kinda chafing, and like…who the fuck wants to ruin a fancy shirt with gross burn juices, right? And Dirk’s shit is more comfortable, and this one’s big enough that it’s real easy to take off even if I’m high on the damn painkillers.”

Karkat winced slightly, but decided not to comment. The scream from the video echoed somewhere in his think pan. “Where’re your shades?”

“Bro fuckin’ stepped on them or something, man, I dunno. They fell off at some point, and they were already cracked before all that, and Terezi just found pieces. Which fucking sucks, I mean God dammit, those were a gift from John. Shit sucks.”

“John?” Karkat tipped his head.

“Yeah, he’s like, an old friend of mine. Have I not mentioned him to you? Whatever, he, uh.” Dave scratched at the side of his head. “He was an online friend from before Bro started doing the, uh, raid shit, and I kept talking to him and another friend, Jade, for a while afterwards even though I wasn’t supposed to?”

“Jade’s name I remember,” Karkat said.

“Haha, yeah, yeah cuz I told you about…anyway.” He cleared his throat. “I guess since Dirk’s college is starting up again soon, not that he’s going for the first couple weeks with his leg and a fucking concussion, but, it’s starting up, and John’s sister goes there too, and he’s gonna come with so we’ll be able to hang out for a bit? Which is fuckin’ rad, I haven’t even talked to the guy in three years and we’re finally meeting in person.”

“You want him to be here? While you’re this badly injured?” Karkat yelped.

Dave blinked at him like he’d just grown a secondary head.

“I mean, yeah?” Dave said. “Like, yeah, I’m not in great shape and I guess it’ll be a lil weird for him to see me like this, but I’ve missed him.” Before Karkat could press the question further, though, Dave yawned. “Ugh, fuck, I wanna keep talking, but I’m…halfway to falling asleep, shit.”

“Oh,” said Karkat. He got up, ready to leave. He wanted to stay, wanted to curl himself around Dave’s obnoxiously lanky frame as best he could and protect this fragile idiot human from the entire universe, but…it wasn’t his place, was it? No.

“You leaving?” said Dave, rubbing at his unbruised eye.

“You said you wanna sleep,” Karkat said.

“Right. Uh. Could you, like…fill this back up for me, then, I guess?” Dave said.

“…Sure,” said Karkat.

He was…still confused, but Dave was tired, so he didn’t press. But he couldn’t wrap his head around wanting a friend around while he was so injured—well, he’d wanted Karkat around, hadn’t he? He’d seemed happy to see him, aside from the, uh, yelling. Still, it didn’t make sense! Every troll knew as a small child that the only people you could trust when you were injured were your lusus, your moirail, and maybe your matesprit! Anyone else might take advantage of the weakness and kill you, that was just basic logic! But Dave didn’t even seem to be thinking about it.

And…and yet, come to think of it, Roxy’d been awfully forthright about how bad Dave’s condition was. Hell, she’d heard it from Rose, who seemed like the one most likely to know not to spread that weakness, but the humans were all sharing it and passing it around. It wasn’t just that they didn’t seem to care who knew that Dave and Dirk were injured, it was like they wanted people to know.

And as he filled up the glass of water in the kitchen, he watched as Roxy and Dirk talked on the couch, as Dirk told her that he’d passed on the news of their condition to Jane already, that Rose had told her and Dave’s friends, and it just kept going. Everyone had to be up to date on the fact that both brothers were injured and vulnerable, and yet…

“I hope the flight wasn’t too long,” Rachel was saying to Ramona.

“Nothing would be too long right now,” she said in turn, blowing gently on a cup of tea that Rachel had just poured her. “Times like these, we all need to do our part. I know I might not be able to do much, mind you. My leg’s been acting up something fierce, as of late, but I’ll do whatever I can.”

Something clicked. All at once, the curtains pulled back and Karkat saw the whole picture—saw maybe not what it always was, and certainly not what the Lalondes achieved on any sort of regular basis, but what it was supposed to be, how it was meant to work.

On Alternia, everyone lived in constant competition. Trolls had to be strong as close to all the time as they possibly could, or at the very least find a moirail who could, because otherwise their society wouldn’t particularly care much if they died. That just meant they didn’t deserve to be a part of the gene pool or to contribute to society. If they were injured badly and left vulnerable, it was seen as normal for others to take advantage of that weakness and exert power or outright kill a rival. It was how they survived so long, or so the cultural narrative had so long stated: by this competition, the strongest survive. Nevermind that this survival was built on the corpses of uncountable trolls who didn’t make the cut, it Worked.

As a result, trolls had been bewildered just as Karkat had by how humans as a species managed to be so frail and yet so reckless and to still survive, especially when they didn’t exactly have the kind of numbers that trolls did. Humans lacked the numbers to be expendable, lacked the strength and toughness that kept Trolls alive, and yet they looked Death in the eye and pointed and laughed, and pushed themselves to extremes for no purpose other than to have some warped idea of fun. It was a question that had lingered around his consciousness for ages; how the fuck do humans even work as a species? How had such a seemingly doomed race not died off yet?

The answer that hit him now, as he watched Roxy help Dirk stand up and balance himself on a pair of crutches, was that humans didn’t have to be strong all the time, and that was the magic of their little social units, their families—they took care of each other. No one person had to be good at everything, or so good at one thing that it could keep them safe in any situation. It didn’t matter that their skin was thin or that they weren’t particularly strong or fast, they always, always had others around who would pick up the slack, others who would come even across oceans to offer what aid they could in times of strife; they weaved together all their strengths and weaknesses into a fabric able to withstand just about anything. Fuck, no wonder they’d wanted Dave back so badly. The Lalondes may have been less a tapestry and more a patchwork quilt, but it was still their quilt, and Dave was a part of it….

He felt a near-agonizing pang of envy that he didn’t have a quilt of his own. Humans might have been stupid about a lot of things, but this…this they’d gotten right.  

“Fucking water? Is that really the best you could think of? Fucking dumbass,” Dave muttered to himself. God. This was stupid. This was all really fucking stupid. He couldn’t even deal with being alone while he was asleep, for Chrissakes! Too scared of nightmares of a big mean dog, like some fuckin’ little kid.

Yeah, he was tired, but he really, really didn’t wanna be alone right now, was the thing. Not with that fucking troll-drug-induced nightmare lingering around the edges, waiting to chase him down again at its first chance. But. Like. Karkat was kind of right? Bros don’t watch each other sleep, that’s fuckin’ creepy. Like. Okay, so maybe they’d done a bit of that way back when Karkat had been kidnapped, but they didn’t have a choice back then, and anyways they mostly slept at the same time during that experience, which was super different from just asking his best alien friend to fuckin’ hold his hand so the  bad dreams wouldn’t get him. Fuck.

So he’d asked Karkat to refill his glass, even though he wasn’t thirsty right now, because it was an excuse to make Karkat come back, at least for a few more minutes, and they could talk for a bit, and maybe Dave’d stop being tired, wouldn’t that be rad.

Karkat came back in looking really thoughtful. He handed the glass over, and Dave took a sip to try and look like he hadn’t been 100% bullshitting there, and mumbled a thanks as he set it down. Then, just as a thought, he jerked his head toward the rest of the bed—it was a big king-sized one, probably left over from before the divorce and Mom had just never downsized or whatever, so there was a lot of space to Dave’s right—and told Karkat he could sit down if he wanted, Dave wasn’t gonna, like, pass out right this minute or anything, haha.

Karkat stayed quiet, which was fuckin’ weird, but he did sit down. He stared at the sheets for a minute, and then spoke up suddenly, saying, “I think I get it.”

“Get what?” said Dave.

“Why they wanted you back so bad,” said Karkat. “I mean, way back when you were first arrested. I kind of fought with Dirk over it at one point, because my only experience with the word Dirk used for why you should be with him was fucking Strider. And also I think I get why this shit all works, for humans in general. I mean, I’m probably just saying obvious shit, but it’s not how trolls work, we don’t take care of each other, not like this.”

Dave tipped his head.

“I mean with the whole fucking family thing,” Karkat said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve been trying to get it this whole time, but this shit’s used to justify so much bullshit with you humans, and I think I get it now, and why it’s so fucking important to you as a species.”

Dave snorted. “Dude, it’s not that big a thing—”

“It is, though! It just seems normal to humans because it’s how you always work, but, Dave, I’m serious, back on Alternia it’s every troll for themself. Maybe you  have one person who has your back if you’ve got a moirail, maybe some are lucky like me and have friends who are actually consistently on your side and won’t take the first chance they get to kill you or fuck you up some other way, but we definitely don’t have a whole cluster of others we can just fall back on any time we’re met with something we can’t handle alone.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Dave started, but Karkat just kept going. Apparently he’d had some sort of fuckin’ epiphany in the past two minutes.

“It took me so fucking long to get this, but I get it now! You know what I don’t get, though, is why the fuck you ever tried to convince me that Strider is part of your fucking family.”

Something in Dave dropped like a stone.

He’d…had a similar thought, really. Repeatedly. Multiple times, over the past week or so. He’d been kind of trying to avoid it, because every time it popped up, he got really stressed out.

“And don’t give me any of the bullshit about being ‘related’ or what the fuck ever, I don’t wanna hear it,” Karkat kept right on going. “I still don’t get why you humans care so much about that. The whole point of this family thing is that you all take care of each other, not that you’re related or whatever! Your aunt’s here, did you know that? She flew across an entire fucking ocean just to make sure she could help out you and Dirk! What the fuck did Strider ever do for you?”

It was a good question. And the answer, of course, was: aside from trying to  kill him, do you mean? Hahaha.

Karkat was still talking, but Dave wasn’t really hearing him. Fuck, this had been a mistake, he should’ve taken his chances with the fucking nightmare dog. That was better than this old song and dance with his own thoughts.

The facts were pretty simple. He’d operated under pretty clear logic when he went up against Bro: We’re family, so he loves me, so therefore if I ask him to let me leave and explain that I really can’t deal with this, he’ll let me go. Except, Bro had tried to kill him, which meant that…

That was as far as Dave ever got. He couldn’t think any farther than that.

He felt like…like the next thought should be obvious, but he couldn’t make himself think it. It was too big—not so much a square peg in a round hole as it was trying to cram a grain silo into a pinhole, and the thought threatened to overwhelm and destroy him, so instead of thinking it, his brain kept rejecting it, the effect being like a broken record skip-skip-skipping, over and over, repeating the last thought he could get to before the Big One, because he couldn’t not think the Big One, either…

It was so fucking stupid, it was just a thought, why couldn’t he…

“Hah, yeah, now that you mention it, I guess I was always kinda wrong about this shit, wasn’t I?” Dave said, unable to stop the sardonic laughter bubbling up in his throat. “I mean, fuck, no wonder it took you so long to get, I probably gave you the wrong idea. My dumb ass was convinced he’d never try to kill me, cuz we’re family, and, well, here we fuckin’ are!”

Skip, skip, skip—

Karkat was still talking in stuttered phrases in the gaps of Dave’s own flood of words, looking almost scared, but Dave didn’t comprehned any of them, and anyway, the ranting had started, there was no stopping this shit now. “Like, what the fuck was I even thinking, right? I really thought that was gonna work, that somehow he’d just let me go if I asked, like a fucking idiot! Haha, what a fuckin’ dipshit, right?! And here I was thinking he—” Frantic laughter bubbled up, overtaking the words, not that more would’ve come, that next thought was just too big. Was he crying? Fuck, Karkat didn’t need to see any of this shit, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t think

Skip, skip, skip, skip, skipskipskipskipskipskip—

It wasn’t Karkat’s fault. It really wasn’t. He might’ve set it off, but the storm had been building up for days, now, and it broke hard, sweeping Dave up in a torrent of just wordless mental screaming. He couldn’t think the next thought. He couldn’t. But the thing was damming him up, and he couldn’t ignore it anymore, and he was stuck in the middle and left to just completely melt down and dissipate into the flood.

A sound like a cicada crossed with the creakiest horror movie door ever to creak ripped through the tides, and suddenly Dave found himself tugged into a full body hug, wrapped up in four limbs with his face pressed into a thick sweater. The touch dragged him out of the flood and onto dry land, brought him back into now before he even knew what was happening. Karkat’s whole chest was vibrating with some intense cricket-cat hybrid purr, and this should’ve been so embarrassing but he was so tired and so lost and it was fucking comforting, so who the fuck cared. Who cared anymore. It was all bullshit. He could be embarrassed later.

Too soon, Karkat seemed to have the same thought, and tried to pull away. “Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t—fuck, I’m so sorry, this is really presumptive and I know you aren’t even into boys,” he babbled.

Dave groaned, wrapping his arms around Karkat’s chest and pulling him close. “Dude, if you try to make this about alien romance right now, I swear to fuck,” he gasped out between harsh sobs. Christ, he was going harder than Karkat did like twenty minutes earlier, what the fuck.

Karkat paused. Good. It meant his warm arms were still there. “Dave, I…I mean, this is troll romance, this is textbook moiraillegience, and I shouldn’t just be throwing myself at you because you had a moment of weakness, no matter how bad I, uh.”

Dave sniffled, wracked his brain for a moment…Karkat had explained this stuff about a million times, which one was…”That’s like…the bros quadrant, right?”

“The what.”

“The one that’s, like, platonic and shit.”

“…Yeah?” The cricket-purr started up again, cautiously.

“We fuckin’ kinda do most of that shit already, don’t we?” Like. Yeah. He wasn’t gay. That was still a thing. But Karkat was warm and solid and real and Dave was fucking exhausted and didn’t want to be alone, especially not when he felt right now like he was wrapped in safety. “Please, Karkat,” he added, because why not beg. He was already at maximum pathetic, there was no digging this hole lower, fuck it. “I really don’t wanna be alone right now, just, please don’t go.”

Karkat was quiet for a long moment, but finally, the cricket-purr went back to full volume and Karkat’s arms tightened around him.

“Okay,” Karkat said quietly. Dave let out a breath he’d barely known he’d been holding and went back to crying.

“We’re going to have to talk about this later,” Karkat murmured, which put him at about normal volume for anyone else.

“Later, then,” said Dave, and let himself finally fall the fuck asleep.

[ifiwantmagicinmylife]

About the Shannara finale & season in general

This is gonna be long so…

First of all, i wanna be very clear. I’m not trying to spread hate for the show. I love this show. i would never say anything hateful cause i appreciate how this show is and how it wants to be, and i don’t want it to be cancelled due to negativity. I’ve just been frustrated about it…at least lets say since the finale, and I’m writing this to try to get it out of my system.

First of all, I’m a wilretria shipper. since day 1 Eretria&Wil have been my babies. so I’m sure you can see where some of my frustration comes from.

Second. From day one my favourite characters have been Eretria, Allanon and Ander (see why my frustration?)

Eretria: I love Ivana. when she won the Goya award i clapped like crazy. And then turned our Eretria was awesume. Anything anyone would want to be. Strong, an amazing fighter, brave, loyal….and as we also learn, kind and even sweet.

Allanon: i love Manu since i don’t know when, so him being the druid guy…i knew it was gonna be badass. and then it was. and i couldn’t love Allanon more.

Ander: the cool friendly uncle. helping niece to run the race, going to get her at the party like “omg girl you look stunning, that’s ma niece” and then talking relationships with her. I JUST LOVED HIM. and then he also made impossiblefor me to focus on tragic moments. i don’t tag him “the ‘dat ass’ elf” for no reason…

Well, so far you can see season 2 has not given me happiness in this matter. 1 became ashes and the other a waterfall (sort of)

What frustrates me about these is, well..the books. I still haven’t read them, cause i was waiting for the end of the season, but i read a couple of things, from which i got that Ander&Allanon probs both died on the 3rd book. Ok, i can deal with that but...I can’t? cause I thought this season was filling a gap between book 2 and 3. but that’s ok i guess. follow the book way too early.

But what gets me about this is that then I can think or say, “ok, so i guess then they will also follow the book for Eretria and Wil, right? I mean…cmon. It doesn’t seem like that for now, but you know, that’s what a season 3 would be for”, but then people say “oh cmon, the tv show doesn’t have to follow the book, stop with the books”. But the thing is, season 1 was very much like the book from what I’ve heard. I remember reading in the Nerdist website they said they wanted to keep it very similar to the book, that they only made Eretria have more depth and do something more than FALL IN LOVE WITH WIL AND FOLLOW HIM AROUND (sorry, dunno why that capbloq itself…oh wait, i do) So, they are gonna follow and even make happen ahead of time things that happen in the book, but others..neeeh. ok, that frustrates me.

And one other thing, since i’m talking about my ship. I feel wilretria shippers have been mostly completely silent this season. I don’t think we have created any drama regarding Lyria. We just kept getting blows and letting that relationship happen without saying a thing. Because we fear if we say anything we will be called “homophobic”, get hate and things like that. And it is frustrating cause we aren’t voicing ourselves because we aren’t dicks, and we are letting everyone enjoy their ship, but this may ruin any chance of our ship happening if they think we don’t care. And we are seeing it getting even harder with the Mareth thing. So i want you to understand, i don’t care if Eretria has a gf, she is bi so she can have all the gfs she wants. But shutting out Wil completly as a possibility cause yes...no. I love Wil and Eretria even since before i watched the show. I do care, so much.

Now about season 2 in general:

PROS

Garet Jax or “jarjar gax” how i like to call him for funsies. total badass. I wished we could have know what was his past entirely cause it seemed interesting, dammit.

Mareth: She was cute and sassy, a magic user in a different way we had seen, which was cool! and then, related to Allanon, which is great considering we also know nothing about Allanon, or Mareth’s mom. So nice, she could be anything and take us anywhere

And on that note, something I’ve always appreciated about this show, from Tilton, to Allanon, to the gardener, to the background actors, to the rovers & elf hunters...this world really seems like a real post-apocaliptic world cause there’s people from all etnicities. these season some more in leads. good show

This stupid season made me love Wil. That lil bitch annoyed me so much. But he is too cute. And we saw him in his lows and in his highs. using the magic unwisely, hugging the hell out of Eretria when it turned out she wasn’t dead (this poor kid, i swear to god. a whole year thinking he lost Amberle and Eretria; the latest being his fault for leaving her behind). Also he made his peace with Allanon awww. And to be honest I love his death scene. It mirrored Amberle’s and now all our 3 heroes have died to save everyone (let’s not forget ma rover bleeding herself out, ok?) And thank whomever must be thanked, he isn’t dead. You can’t die when i start to love you, a-hole. tho that’s what this show does to me.

Eretria: We got to see where she comes from, what will be her challenges and how her loyalty to her friends is stronger and bigger than anyone could ever have thought. Also she was badass as always.

Ander. I mean, Ander is everything. anything with Ander was the best scene ever. dat ass. best king ever. bless. he also said Eretria is family and at this point I dunno if i want Eretria to marry Wil or him cause honestly “yes, i remember when i met your mom...i fell for her instantly. i mean, she kicked me in the face and let me unconcious, but..” is a great “meetcute” Also the threw that traitor down the waterfall omg my king is so fucking badass.

Allanon: i mean...pfft it’s allanon. everything about him is a pro, duh. Giving him a family and showing him caring for Wil was nice too. he is not a heartless guy. he loves all this crazy kids.

Bandon, Riga, Warlock lord: god, you bunch of asshoooles. i hate you all so muuuuch. Good bad guys :) The warlock lord became my hero when he de-headed Riga. you deserve it biiitch omgggg for Andeeeer. Then the Bandon thing...i mean...poor Bandon, but bitch, you had everyone occupied and Riga killed Ander. Then my new hero warlock lord killed that ship traitor Allanon (i was like that’s what you get! but then he was cursed and became ashes....and i was like, ok a bit too much) and then he did the other thing and i was disappointed on my new hero. i was all “i was rooting for youu” They all where awesume at being bad. is awesume having such great baddies

I can’t believe i almost forgot her

Ambertree: or Amberle, as you prefer. I really didn’t want her to be back for the sake of my ship. but I also did start crying when i saw her in the trailer. So i guess i love her too. And seeing her was so nice. I missed the elf princess. but stay as a tree please Amberle. (ps, also wtf amberle you too with the Mareth thing, i take it back, i hate everyone on this show)

CONS

Ander: Can you please explain to me what the hell has this poor thing done to deserve this shit? His brother dies. he becomes this depressed drinking ball of an elf and loses his gf. years later his dad, his bro, half of his goddamn castle, his ex he still loves die. ALL DIE. His niece becomes a tree. And he has to be king. Also Eretria kicked him in the face (i kind of ship it) And then we get to season 2 and the girl he is with s murdered (....i wasn’t on board of this anyway cause god Catania, you effed the Bandon inprisonment, didn’t ya. but if Ander my love was happy. but no. and then he gets murdered trying to save this girl (Eretria i’m never going to forgive you for being up to tell her to get up and run, but not to throw a knife and save my elf husband). and so the story of Ander ends. Being throw down the traitors waterfall, where no one can recover his body and give him the royal funeral he deserves. I will forever be bitter about this, i kid you not. #longlivetheking

Allanon: Again, my babies cant catch a break. He is trying to stop Bandon, turns out he has a daughter with his loved one and we don’t get to see them become dad and daughter. I had already accepted he was gonna die because i read someone saying “after what happens in book 3″ And then he drops that “you and mareth are ma ship” bomb. my brain: “oh you asshole how dare you to compare them with you and Pyria. You can die now, byeeeee” (i’m evil, i know).

Eretria: I feel this season didn’t do much for her. I guess she did all the development she could do in season 1. But i feel they mistreated her a lot. I get she has a girlfriend, or so, cause at some point she had broken up with her i think...but i feel the way they made her interact with Wil was just weird. The little times they interacted. that was annoying. (those two have so much chemistry they have to keep ‘em apart or we all would be arranging their wedding by the “welcome back, shorttips”) Eretria has always been in love with Wil, let’s be honest. We all saw her face the day Wil said “there is no us” or when she saw him kissing Amberle. We all know without Amberle in the picture things would be very different. Does no one really remember he was up for it the same day he met Eretria? and then some days after in the palace room? (also let me point out Eretria does love will cause to rob some stones she could have giving him an “Ander” and leave. but she didn’t. she stayed, and said would never call him shortips again). So this two at the very least had the hots for each other to begin with. Also let me remind you how Wil cried when Eretria died. He used the stones for something else than killing a demon for the first time to save her (if that doesn’t scream love, soulmates, endgame or whatever, i dunno what does) And this season, tho they have kept giving us sweet moments of the two, where we shippers kept our hopes high (the tree girl was gone, this was out moment), and we hoped to see THEM FALL IN LOVE AND GET TOGETHER (since its a space between books, you know)... and that’s why the complete anulation of this ship is so painful for some of us. We felt Amberle was some sort of puppy teenage love, and Eretria would be the true love woman for Wil....but no. anyway...a Shannara and a child of the Apocalypse. Good magic & (bad/good) magic. ancient kings blood, ancient humans blood. like honestly.

Wil: I’m not gonna blame the poor kid for being an emo and be mad at the world, cause his life went to shit last epi of last season (if not all season in general). And i honestly developed love for him this season. BUT...this thing about him and Mareth...I feel it came out of nowhere. They were just friends and then one day she makes eyes to him and he makes eyes to her? there wasn’t even a big thing where i could say, where there they realized they love each other...and out of nowhere they are the biggest love story eveeer. im sorry, no. i can’t. I get everyone loves them, but i...no. (again, i guess is the wilretria shipper in me who sees more past and more development in the relationship and that this was happening too quickly out of nowhere) (Also the pre-death kiss, that was i guess so romantic and adfghjklñ....kinda ruined the scene for me. like “oh ffs, die already, Wil!”*narrow*” was a thing that happened in my brain)

Others: I dont think I have much complains about the others. One of the only ones is Lyria’s storyline. i feel like the only thing i saw her do was mope and cry? and that one time she stood up to her mom, planned a wedding with Ander and once held a sword (which i feel they really exploded to make her look badass)...i feel like they made this character to be the love interest, and im sorry for it cause it could have been so much more. Also that “don’t wanna be a princess I’m running away but yas i wanna be queen” thing...does it even make sense for the person we were introduced to? also it was the fact that I had to buy into her love story with Eretria. When i saw in the trailer she was gonna have a gf i was like, oh no...more difficulties for my ship, but hey yes, let’s see what happened here. But then...i didn’t know anything about them? when did they meet? how long have they been dating? “where you go, i go”...where does that come from? how did i know what Lyria’s mom told Eretria about her saying that to everyone wasn’t true? Maybe my ship blinds me, but i feel this relationships started as if i started season 1 with will and Amberle frickfracking and then she becoming a tree and I’m supposed to be super sad, but i can’t I don’t know if it makes sense since i shipped Pyria and Allanon since moment 1 but that’s probably my “omg star crossed lovers, him staying young while she grows old, not seeing each other in 30 years shdfadlgfhañsla” loser heart Mareth: I was here for the magic kids friendship until it stopped being a friendship. now she is ruining my life. and i don’t appreciate it.

((me being annoying: also the blingbling palace was too much for me, omg did i miss Arborlon))

Ok, I think that is all. I know it seems like I didn’t like this season, but omg, i loved it. it was so intense all the time, and so many awesume fights, and some great new characters. Is just that I had hopes for my ship just to see them sinking more and more. at this point I’m Artax and my ship is more a submarine.

I can’t wait to see what they do in season 3 (and probably cry and hate everyone cause my ship sinks), but this show is too good to end forever in a “to be continued”. I want my babies back

and please show, stop getting people i love into #crispinskorner

[elvencantation]

infinity war liveblog:

hey killing the last asgardians is super rude!

omg netflix calls thanos an ‘intergalactic sociopath’. the name of my new band 😂

awww poor bruce

also when will they stop hurting my space golden retriever he’s already lost his dad and his home and his eye

this movies just gonna be all actions, isn’t it?

damn thanos is so ugly

‘i consider experience experience’ ok loki. this is the point at which i just turn off the audio because of second hand embarrassment

i know he’s gonna die and i’m not ready for it!!!! like poor heimdall already was sad tho i’m happy he sent bruce home

i admire ur spirit loki but do u really think one tiny dagger will go against two infinity stones? or is it just a last ditch effort because you won’t go down without a fight... which i understand

STOP. HURTING. THOR. CMON ITS SO FUCKING SIMPLE

i mean i feel bad for loki obv but like- i can’t get over the fact that thor has to watch everyone die

yikes why did they need to make his death so graphic

WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP HURTING THOR GODDAMNIT. STOP MAKING HIM WATCH AS THE PEOPLE HE LOVE DIE (i know this is like the entire point of this movie but whatever)

i havent seen strange’s movie so im probs missing quite a lot about him. but i like his sentient cloak that somehow also gives him a cool outfit

okay now im gonna start getting mad about them hurting tony he’s also been in a lot of shit and him and pepper are being all adorable and dear god stop saying ‘no surprises’ so much ur jinxing urself

oooooooooo im loving the star wars style universe projection all around you storytelling bit. very pretty

tony would you stop insulting people at random. this is why i dont like you

god poor bruce he’s seen thanos firsthand and hes just hardcore panicking which i SO understand

i need strange and tony to stop trying to one up each other this is supposed to be a team effort where are the guardians of the galaxy when you need them?

awww bruce im sorry u cant get hulk to come out hes probably still upset at you about the whole.... ragnarok thing? god i miss that movie right about now taika waititi save us from this bullshit

‘wong youre invited to my wedding’ oh man mood i do love a good beaming someone to a desolate ice planet

love that tony has a suit ready for peter thats fuckin adorable

man i feel bad for bruce ‘im going to make a call’ among wizards and people with robot suits and shit

omg yes the guardians i missed them

‘its like a pirate had a baby with an angel’ oH MY GOD MY FAVORITE LINE

aaaand here comes the alpha male bullshit again just STOP IT QUIL NOBODY CARES. this is what i never liked about the avengers, they were always fighting in some way, never really a team except by necessity

on the other hand, rocket and thor’s banter gives me life

wanda calls him vis!!! too cute

and it surprises nobody that wanda is my favorite avenger

ITS STEVE MY BABY. and sam omg yes

oh god what is nat’s hair doing 

oh no its a gamora flashback isnt it

okay the reality stone is gonna give me nightmares

i know this is not the time but zoe saldana looks gorgeous with that lighting on her curly hair.... 💖

IM SO EXCITED TO SEE SHURI AGAIN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY 

also peter is adorable and i need him to meet shuri. peter’s reaction to the suit by the way is the most precious thing ever (sidebar, but wasnt peter an adult in the infinity war comic? cause it would make much more sense for him to be involved as an adult rather than a TEENAGER)

and then tony and strange ruin it all again with their stupid annoying posturing

ugh i really go through this cycle of being bored and wanting the next part to happen and then enjoying it for like two minutes, then being annoyed, then being bored again

oh god will thanos ever stop talking hes like every straight entitled white man ive ever met

i think im done i want to cancel my netflix account before they charge me again tomorrow but i dont rly wanna finish this movie enough to keep it

[ravenspacemaker]

since im done with bb19 and came to the good side (aka cbb20) lets start new

so here are some of my thoughts on the cbb20 housemates

amelia lily: amelia’s kinda irrelevant in the house to me. her relationship with chad was cute and all but besides that i barely see her and i didnt even notice her until like a week ago. i think she could probably win considering she seems well-liked and inoffensive.

brandi glanville: brandi was really annoying me in the beginning of the game but i just dont really care about her anymore. she hasnt really been doing anything recently i think, and i feel like if she doesnt upset anyone shes just eventually gonna evicted somewhere towards the middle of the game.

chad johnson: originally i hated chad but i dont have anything against him anymore. he seems like hes actually a nice guy but his brand is just based on being a cocky douchebag. the relationship with amelia was cute and all but idk if thats dead considering she nominated him (i havent watched the ep where they nominate so that was probably explained and i just didnt see it yet).

derek acorah: derek is one of the expendable old housemates who does nothing but is there for the demographic i suppose. i dont really like him but i dont have anything against him. i personally find mediums and psychics and all that to be bullshit so i kinda didnt like him from the beginning because of that, but idk he does nothing to make me hate him. i dont like how hes ofc gonna end up going far just because hes inoffensive though.

helen lederer: helen’s in the same boat as derek, i dont care about her. im kinda disappointed in her though because shes a comedian so i expected her to be more entertaining.

jemma lucy: jemma definitely seems crazy. im american and we dont really have a reality tv culture like the uk does, like here reality tv is most often reserved for people who are already established so we dont really get to see the whole jemma/jordan/sam type whose careers are basically just getting on reality tv shows and being hot messes, so those types really fascinate me. i would prob hate jemma but again, her type fascinates me so i kinda like her. plus her background is interesting to me.

jordan davies: jordan is similar to what i said about jemma, like his whole type just fascinates me. originally i liked jordan more than sam, but now i like sam more because jordan nominated trisha and i dont take that lightly. i still lowkey like him a little bit but hes gone way further down. also i find him really attractive sorry.

karthik nagesan: someone evict him already dear god. im fairly confident hes gonna get evicted tonight but who knows. he annoys me everytime he opens his mouth and hes a real sad excuse for a celebrity. he seems like he knows that he has to be interesting to get airtime but is trying so hard to be interesting that he doesnt know what hes doing. i dont like paul but the racist thing was so just weird to me. like he calls paul racist, then says he was joking, then everybody is like it was a misunderstanding karthik misheard him and thats why he was offended. so, he wasnt joking then? he did think paul was being racist? idk idc i just dont like karthik.

marissa jade: marissa was so fake it was annoying. her relationship with jordan made me uncomfortable but i didnt really dislike her or anything until i saw her eating that pizza. like how desperate for attention can u be. she was literally like moaning it was so disturbing. i hope thats why she got evicted. not gonna miss her, although she was pretty ngl.

paul danan: god i hate paul. theres literally something with the name paul like idk why but that name is cursed. first p*ul abrahamian and now paul danan. ik a guy named paul irl too and i hate him. but seriously paul is horrible and hes such a snake. him trying to fit in with jordan and sam is so cringey too, like dude ur 40 something stop acting like ur in ur 20s its embarrassing.

sam thompson: i hated sam in the beginning but hes gone up on my list. i like how him and trisha are getting along better now, i really hope he isnt just fucking with her though. hes really cute and probably the type of guy id normally be into (i love blonds and im always attracted to the jackass type ik its horrible). but again same thing with jemma and jordan, the british reality tv personality is just so fascinating to my american self.

sandi bogle: originally i thought sandi was gonna be fun and entertaining, but shes really become just another derek/helen/shaun and i dont really care about her. she looked hot af during the premiere but she just doesnt do anything. i feel like she might even win just because of how inoffensive she is, but thats so boring cmon i want drama.

sarah harding: sarah was one of the few i knew before the show (along with amelia [only because i got her confused with a different singer with the name lily and ended up finding her], brandi [never saw her show though], and trisha [ofc]), and i had always heard she was like the party girl/hot mess of girls aloud, so thats what i was kinda expecting. however, in the house shes more of like a woe-is-me pity party type of girl. its just getting really tiring. i hate how she seems really popular too because id rather her outside of the house. also its kinda awkward seeing her trying to hide the fact that cheryl hates her. 

shaun williamson: theres nothing even to say about shaun. he does absolutely nothing and the thoughts i have on him are the same as derek/helen/sandi. 

trisha paytas: the queen herself. honestly people can keep nominating her because she has more insta followers than all of them so i really dont see her getting evicted this early. it pissed me off sfm when paul was questioning her fame because shes literally more relevant than he is. cant wait until theyre all out of the house and can look her up to see how shocked they all are. i love trisha but i hate seeing how depressed she seems to be in the house considering how excited she seemed to be before she moved in. hopefully things get better for her, and as much as idk if its possible id love to see her win.