#this has been the only thing on my mind for well over a day now
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That’s What I Like | Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
Summary: Steve Harrington loved every part of you. There was no denying that. And he especially loved the part of you that he got to see at the end of the day.
Genre: Fluff.
Warnings: Swearing.
Word count: 681.
A/N: My Steve fic I posted yesterday has over 200 notes at the time of posting this and I just wanna say thank you because what?! That’s honestly so surreal to me. I’ve only really written for Mr Daryl Dixon this year and was super scared to post for Steve, but knowing that people enjoyed it makes me so happy. It makes me wanna write for Steve regularly. And who knows. I might just do that.
“Goddamn.”
That singular word was the first thing that reached your ears when you stepped out of the bathroom and into Steve’s room. Your eyes flitted over to where your boyfriend had casually been lounging on the bed, his body now in an upright position as his beautiful, golden-like amber eyes raked over your body. His lips were slightly parted, and his tongue subtly ran over his bottom lip to moisten the dryness.
You looked downright appetizing.
You slightly adjusted your—well, technically Steve’s—shirt on your body, the soft, blue fabric falling down and hugging you just right. Your shorts were riding up just the slightest bit and showed off your beautiful thighs, much to Steve’s liking. His mind was running wild, with no signs of being caught any time soon.
“Holy shit,” Steve muttered under his breath, pushing himself up from the bed to make his way over to you. His hands itched to reach out and touch you, but he did not do so. Not yet. “You look fuckin’ beautiful, Baby.”
You let out a quiet scoff at his words, but you could not help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your mouth at his heartfelt praise. “Yeah, I bet,” you began in a disbelieving tone of voice. You vaguely motioned over to yourself, hoping to emphasize the way you looked at that moment in time. “This is totally runway model material right here.”
Steve knew you were just joking, but he agreed with your words entirely. “You would put the other models to shame.” And he truly believed that. In his eyes, nobody else in the entire world could compete with your beauty. In his eyes, you were the most beautiful woman to walk the earth. In his eyes, you were absolutely perfect.
You gave him a look that perfectly conveyed how wrong you thought his words were. “Seriously?” you asked rhetorically and laughed lightly, allowing yourself to be pulled into Steve���s embrace when he wrapped his arms around you and yanked you closer. “You find this hot? Wet hair, stained sleep shorts and one of your t-shirts? Plus no makeup?”
“That’s how I love you,” Steve agreed with a lovesick smile. However, his eyebrows furrowed at his own words. “Not that I don’t love you when you’re dressed up and wearing makeup! I love everything about you. I’m just saying that I love you like this, too. You’re—”
You effectively cut off his rambling by placing a soft, tender kiss to his lips, your hands coming up to cradle his face. Steve all but melted into the kiss, his hold around you tightening slightly as he allowed himself to get lost in the taste of you. God, even your lips were perfect, he thought to himself as his fingers flexed against your hips, attempting to pull you even closer.
The kiss ended too soon for Steve’s liking. He could spend all day just kissing you if he could. However, even though the kiss had ended, his hold on you did not. “Not that I’m complaining in the slightest, but what was that for?” he inquired softly, his lips slightly swollen from what had transpired a few moments prior.
You giggled and looped your arms around his neck, gazing deeply into the eyes you had come to love getting lost in. “To stop you from getting into your own head. I know what you meant earlier.” One of your hands slipped into his hair, lightly and gently scratching his scalp the way only you knew he liked. “And also because I love you, Stevie.”
Steve smiled at that. He turned his head and pressed a chaste kiss against the skin of your arm, his eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the light that the lamp next to his bed emitted, an almost golden-like hue colouring his gorgeous brown irises. Steve looked regal in that moment, and you thanked your lucky stars that you got to call the man in front of you yours.
“I love you too, Sweetheart. I love you so fucking much.”
#krys writes .ೃ࿐#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve x reader#steve x female reader#stranger things#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington drabble
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Can your beautiful mind provide some domestic Christmas Quinn thoughts?
well…i have been thinking about how quinn is 100% one of those men that can’t wrap a present to save his life. so when you’re out doing some last minute shopping one day, he brings all of your presents out of their hiding spot and tries his best.
he starts out on his own, watching youtube videos and tutorials to try and make sure he measures the paper right and creases it properly. but when he ends up with several…wad-looking wrapping jobs he facetimes his mom, recruiting her as a wrapping coach.
“mom, i’ve tried so many times and i just can’t get it right. she’s told me before how much she loved wrapped presents, so i don’t want to just put them all in bags, but i don’t know if i’m going to have much of a choice at this point.”
ellen laughs at her son, pulling out her own wrapping supplies and tries to show him again. she talks him through the whole process, and when he finally wraps a present right, he’s beaming from ear to ear. she stays on the phone and coaches him through the rest of your presents as he thanks his mom over and over again for her help.
just as he’s placed the last one under the tree (the poorly wrapped ones shoved in the back) he hears the door open and in you walk with a hoard of shopping bags on each arm.
when you walk into the living room, eyes glued to the now full space under the tree, your eyes light up.
“quinn, did you wrap all of these?”
he walks over to you, taking some of the bags from your hands. “sure did. all by myself,” he beams at you.
“excuse me, your mother had a hand in this too. where’s my credit?”
you hear ellen’s voice flowing through the speaker of quinn’s phone, the device still propped up on the coffee table, surrounded by wrapping paper.
quinn’s face turns bright red, forgetting his mom was still on the phone. you look at his embarrassed state, endeared more than anything that he cared about wrapping your presents so much, he called his mom as a reinforcement.
“is that true?” he nods his head.
“well, yeah. i kinda botched the first few, and the youtube videos weren’t helping, so aside from taking them all to a store to have someone professionally wrap them for me, mom was my last shot,” he shrugged, embarrassed about the fact his lack of wrapping skills has been outed.
“q, that’s so sweet oh my god,” you gush at him, batting your eyes and bringing your hand to rest over your heart.
“really? you don’t think it’s embarrassing i don’t know how to wrap a present?”
you balk at him, rolling your eyes. “quinn, the fact you went through so much trouble to wrap them, instead of putting them in a bag like every other guy i’ve ever dated, is the sweetest thing ever. why would i care if they’re perfectly wrapped or not?”
“see, quinn! i told you she wouldn’t care if they were perfect!” you hear from his phone, both of you having now forgotten about ellen.
“yeah, quinn. listen to your mother,” you playfully scold him, walking past him so you’re in frame on his phone. “thanks, ellen. what ever would these boys do without you?” you joke with her, earning a laugh.
“oh, you know, probably bug you a lot more than they already do,” she jests back, referencing how often not only your own hughes boy calls you about needing help with finding things around the apartment, or needing you to tell him what the brand name is of that certain kind of protein powder is he likes, but how often his two brothers call you with their own questions and advice requests.
“alright, mom, thanks for your help and all, but i have all the presents wrapped and i need help her put all this stuff away now. i love you, bye,” quinn interrupts the laughter ringing out between you and his mom, picking up his phone and pressing the end call button.
“quinn, you did not just hang up on your mom,” you scold him, gasping at his actions.
“i’d had her on the phone for hours already it’s fine,” he brushes it off. “plus, i don’t think she’d want to witness what i’m about to do,” he walks towards you, pointing up to the mistletoe strung high above your head.
you look back down just as he reaches you, grabbing your face and pulling you in for a very heated kiss.
dropping the bags in your hands, he walks the two of you over to the couch, all mention of gifts and wrapping forgotten.
#quinn hughes#hockey#nhl#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes x y/n
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†⠀⠀ㅤֺ⠀ BACK 2 THE BASICS : SIMPLIFYING THE LAW .
︖ ── the law is over complicated? let’s fix it. this is a complete switch on all the knowledge you’ve learned, so, prepare to throw everything out the window.
‿‿
﹒get rid of everything that you’ve had the displeasure of hearing—yes, this includes states, thinking as if, and wavering. we’re starting from scratch, or moreso, a simpler way at grasping the concept.
‿‿
the basics of the law 📓, the law of assumption is described by the general public as follows: whatever you assume to be true, will be true. this isn’t pure, dumb luck, this is the law, what you’ve used your entire life subconsciously and will continue to use for the rest of your life. it is the basics structures of your reality; it is life.
﹒ an assumption is described in the dictionary as this: a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
this definition already proved the law of assumption is working constantly in your favor, and it always has. when you’re going to favorite store and your parent makes the assumption that they’ll be no parking space left—and then there’s no parking left. or when you’re getting prepared to take a test with the assumption you’ve failed, then you’ll start doing poorly on the test, because you’ve expected to fail.
“erm.. but solana… what if i expected to do poorly on the test and i passed???”
﹒ somewhere, in the middle of that test, subconsciously or not, you had an inkling of doubt in your assumption that you would fail. you stopped identifying with that thought, so, you shifted to a reality where you had identified with the opposite. you passing.
‿‿
clearing up some misconceptions 🪲, wavering doesn’t exist. a “delay” doesn’t exist, either. truthfully, i find it hard to pinpoint where you guys got your limitations from, but i’ll try to make it simple.
﹒you’ve been manifesting since the moment you’ve opened your eyes, why, only now that you’re consciously manifesting, that you feel the need to keep up with these terms? you’re doing nothing but changing your assumptions. an assumption is formed by just thinking. why not just constantly flip your thoughts?
and i get it—you’re traumatized. you’re brainwashed from what society has force-fed you for years. you need to place the law into categories to make it click, but why has it taken so long to click? the answer is simple: because you’ve been stressing yourself out.
﹒now, this is going to be controversial, but the truth. my truth. the most interesting thing about the law is how you can make assumptions ABOUT the law. believe there’s a separation between your mind and the outer world? there will be. believe there’s a delay? there will be. in this community, there seems to be some sort of “set guide” to understanding the law, and that comes with its own terms and conditions.
“don’t look for the 3D for validation!!” “stay in the wish fulfilled!!!!”
well, sometimes, we can be our own blockages. why would i need to limit myself in the state of the wish fulfilled, when i could just decide i have what i want and go on about my day? isn’t that the state of the wish fulfilled? what’s the point of the 3D and 4D separation if everything is internal? everything is consciousness?
what’s the point of the delay assumption? yes, you must change your shirt before you can get mad at the mirror for not reflecting it back to you, but that doesn’t mean the mirror is going to have a 5 second delay at showing your reflection. that doesn’t make sense.
‿‿
instead of worrying about the technicalities, do what you’ve always done, thinking a thought and sticking to it, and i promise you, they’ll be no wavering. there can only be wavering if you’re identifying with your thoughts, learn to ignore them and go about your day.
⊹ 𖥔
#merry christmas???#now go manifest#reality shifting#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shiftinconsciousness#shifting diary#black shifters#shifting antis dni#law of assumption#loa advice#loassumption#loablr#loa blog#loa tips#loa success#lawofassumption#master manifestor#master shifter#desired reality#shifting consciousness#shifting realities#realityshifting#reality shift#shifting#shifters#shifting advice#shifting script
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finals are over amen. these are lowkey so incoherent... #NeedToPracticeEng "( – ⌓ – )
kitten!karina : she's between your legs, looking up through half-lidded eyes like you're the only thing that matters. but that's because you are the only thing that matters, to her, at least. she's lapping everything up like she's been starved—might as well have been, you were on a trip, she just craved her fill—and she doesn't care if you already came because she wants—needs—more. almost like purring, her moans against your cunt because she's so pussy-drunk she's slurping and whining like a pornstar. the vibrations against your core as she looks up at you with that sly look almost makes you forget everything. she's so eager to please, needing to fill her mouth.
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ implied consensual somno⠀⸝⸝⸝⠀⠀bunny!winter : she's in heat. twitching and riding a pillow, she's so blissed out with her nose scrunched up and biting on her bottom lip. she's more like a rabbit, humping against any and every surface because she needs to be stuffed full, her mind is begging for it, but she can't form thoughts coherent enough to do it herself. you come home to find her riding a pillow, her face so blissed out but she keeps begging for 'inside' even tho she's not sure if you've come home or not. she'll be so surprised when you remove the pillow, teasing her, "couldn't wait, huh? just needed your cunt stuffed." and she'd be so quick to admit it, too needy to even be ashamed. just impatient when you put on your strap and she's immediately riding it until she's close to passing out. but she's so fucking desperate for even more, she just told you to take over once she's out cold.
fox!giselle : oh, fuck. at work and you just get the horniest messages from gigi. let's be honest, she can't go a single day without teasing because she knows it'll get her a rough fucking. going home to grab her thighs, her ass, her waist—any bare surface you can get as you full on rip off her clothes. taking her from behind so she can force her to look at the mirror, she's bent over the vanity. she's suddenly so shy. whining and moaning in such a high-pitched tone. but she's still being a brat, complaining about you not being deep enough only to immediately cum the second you fully thrust a dildo inside her, one swift motion. she's never felt so full (that's a lie, she makes sure this happens as often as she can, but it still makes her melt brain every time) but you make up for it with sweet nothings because at the end of the day, she does need a little praise because she's still just a brat. acting out because she wants it rough only to realize her mistake after but does it all over again anyway.
puppy!ningning : I don't even know how to explain my thoughts for this one. just... her riding your shoe as she looks up at you. she's like a full on dog, debasing herself and so needy. she keeps saying that it feels good, that you're making her feel good despite you just sitting there and watching her hump at your shoe erratically, almost maniac. and she has the most adoring look. kind of like karina's, except hers is just utter devotion. it's like she's worshipping, not getting herself off. so needy for the slightest bit of attention. a puppy begging for scraps and getting more than because she's adorable and so good.
signed by ☃️
i— anon, it scares me, genuinely, how you ALWAYS manage to read my thoughts, like, what the fuck? also, glad to hear your finals are over, dear, please take some time to rest now !
thinking of spoiled kitten!rina, deserves to sleep on the best sheets with the best pillows and eat the best fish, gets what she wants when she wants and you are no exception. calling her spoiled but it’s your fault, how are supposed to deny her pretty face anything? type to crawl to you, settle herself between your legs and smirk, head nuzzling against your stomach, kisses on the insides of your thighs. whines if you deny her, even as a joke, she missed you so much, your warmth, your taste, don’t do that to her… she promises she won’t disturb you much, knows you’re tired from your trip and the moment you nod she’s already pushing her face against your crotch, over your clothes and everything. she’s so good, so uncaring and messy, hands grabbing at your flesh, kitten claws scratching, and obviously breaks her promise, growing more desperate the moment you cum for the first time, eager to drink up everything. kisses her way up your body after to lay on top of you, purring and rubbing her wet-smeared cheeks against you… clingy kitten :(
bunny!winter in heat, god, i love this. can you imagine actually, not being her girlfriend but like, roommate or something? but there’s this tension and to come home to find her like that ! pretty, little bunny humping your pillow, on your bed, calling your name to help her, what a sight. you try to reason with her— “just needs your cunt stuffed? you could’ve asked”— but the way she simply tosses her head back to look at you, zero shame, taking your hand that holds the pillow, not making much sense, it makes you take pity on her. a mess, bouncing on top of you until her legs ache, dirty sound of skin on skin and wetness and moans echoing, your own thighs slippery with how much slick she leaks. she would cry if she woke up to find out you stopped fucking her just because she passed out, how dare you? it hurts so bad now, she’s so empty and cold… now you know your lesson and to not stop the next time.
now, fox!giselle, this fucking girl, professional brat. she will send the nastiest stuff— extremely detailed text, a photo, a fucking audio that you have to thank god you listened with no one around because she didn’t bother to be quiet, as always— and then go completely quiet, not replying to your panicked texts, sitting at the couch back home giggling knowing she got you. and you know what? she will act shocked once you arrive, might call you desperate. so true about turning shy once she sees your reflections on the mirror because yes, look at her, all blushed and panting, tits pressed to the vanity and she can feel herself drip down her thigh and your eyes on her, so dark… running her mouth about not being full enough only to get both her holes stuffed, so many sensations at time, her noises so loud she can barely hear you ask her if she still needs more, kicking and twisting at you relentlessly playing with her ass. sure does need to hear some praise and sweet nothings during aftercare, whining on your lap because she is sore (she loves it).
puppy!ningning as your office pet… she doesn’t even live with you, started as your secretary but ended up where she is now, in a comfy corner of your office with her toys and phone and food, just something pretty for you to play with when your job as boss gets too stressful. she is so lovely, tail wagging at every bit of your attention, not wasting a single second whenever you order her to come closer. grips on you while her cunt slides over your shoe, part of her mind disappointed, she’s crumpling up your clothes, but it feels so good, she needs to hold onto something. she’s a crier too, but happy tears, satisfied tears, looking up at you with pure admiration, moans that grow louder and louder as you pet her head, leaning down to rest your forehead against hers and shush her, it’s okay, she can cum, be a good puppy and cum for you. she loves you, genuinely, so loyal to you, and dreams of the day you will take her home and she will be able to be yours full time.
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Christmas Spirit
❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 12❄️❄️
woof, now we're REAL behind chat, apologies was busy but also like, feeling unwell, but here we are! hope you enjoy :)
Prompt: christmas request! Reader doesn't care for christmas since their relationship with their family isnt great and nearly ever christmas since they moved out included multiple fights or screaming matches; they just want to have a positive association with christmas and don't mind working on a holiday at their crazy but chill job with their favorite animatronic coworkers. And these fellow coworkers intend to make sure this christmas is a postive one even if theres silly mishaps here and there.
Word Count: 2048
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
When you realized the date this morning, to say your heart sunk into your chest was an understatement. Sure, maybe it was a bit dramatic to go from chipper and ready for the day, to dragging your feet out the door, but to be fair, this wasn't exactly your favorite time of year. So, you think you had a little bit of a pass.
Though, as you slam open the door to the Daycare just a tad too harshly, spooking Sun whilst he was mid-decorating, you cringe. Maybe not too much of a pass.
He shakes it off, however, bounding over to you as happily as ever. "Good morning Sunshine! And how are we today?"
You decide to brush off your mistake. Based on the current state of things, he's very excited about the coming holiday, and you'd hate to ruin that for him.
"I'm doing well, Sunny. And what about you? The place looks great!" You motion to how already, the Daycare is already well on its way to being totally decorated. It's impressive, to say the least. You left less than 24 hours ago, though he probably has a lot more time on his hands than you.
He puts a hand to his faceplate, waving the other bashfully. "Oh, we're just getting started! Would you like to help?"
"Ah, I don't want to um, get in your way at all." Not to mention even the idea of touching a decoration makes you want to fling it across the room. Despite how ridiculous a notion that is. You shake your head. "I'll just get stuff set up for the day as usual!"
Sun hesitates a moment, rays shrinking. "Oh, okay then! Well, if you change your mind, just let me know! Always happy to have your touch with these things."
You're too distracted by your own discomfort to acknowledge the compliment. Instead only offering a quick nod and a smile as you march over to the craft station and start preparing.
You'd hope that would be the end of things, but you weren't so lucky. All throughout the day, both sides of the Attendant seem to be ever curious about your thoughts on different holiday plans they have, asking your opinion on this or that. Whether they realize it or not, you can feel your weariness about the topic growing worse, and paitence wearing thin.
It was only a matter of time before you cracked, and it happens at probably the worst moment to do so; puppet time.
Sun decided to put on a Christmas themed show—of course—and had all but insisted for your help. Again, not wanting to cause issues, you agree. However, it's easier said than done.
"—And we all just enjoy the holidays so much, don't we friend?" Sun asks, ever in character with his hand puppet.
You chuckle, awkward. "We sure do!"
"What's your favorite part of the season?" His little character does a spin on the mini stage. "Mine is making cookies, oh oh! And playing out in the snow, and wrapping presents for my friends!"
For some reason the question—which should have been expected—throws you for a loop. "Oh, well, I don't really have anything in particular. But I'd love to hear more about your favorite activities!"
"Oh come on, everyone has something that's their favorite." He presses, unintentionally pushing your buttons.
At that moment all you can think about is all the years of arguing, fights, yelling. Family members bickering about things that don't matter, and yet, won't talk to each other for weeks afterward because of some minor slip of the tongue. Feelings of being isolated, alone, and utterly miserable creep in.
You can't help the words that slip out then. "Well, some of us don't like Christmas very much at all!" You say, voice over the top with fake cheer.
Sun seems to take the hint then and thankfully, recovers the show from there. You're a bit embarrassed to need the save. You didn't think you'd lose your composure over a silly puppet show, but apparently, you were wrong.
It's when you're packing things up to get ready for naptime that Sun broaches the topic once more.
"You, you don't like Christmas, Starshine?" Sun asks, voice soft.
You take a deep breath, then shake your head. "I, no, not really. No." You see Sun's rays shrink, and put your puppet-free hand up. "But it's okay! Really don't let me bum you out any. I'm sorry I lost my cool for a moment there. It won't, won't happen again."
Before you can speak on it any further, you turn away, heading to start getting naptime mats out and such. Had you not, you would have seen Sun's hand reaching out for you, concern and care clearly evident on his features.
After that little incident, neither Attendant talks to you about the holiday in detail again. You still discuss activities as usual, but they don't ask specifics of you anymore. You're relieved, but you do feel bad. You hope to make it up to them by having an easy day of work on Christmas itself.
Get some organization done, clean up some things that you've been putting off, that kind of thing. Hell, maybe you'll even tolerate some holiday music while you work too.
When you walk inside bright and early on Christmas morning however, Sun nearly jumps out of his skin upon seeing you. At least, you think he would have if he did have skin, that is.
"Sunbeam! Wha—what are you doing here today?" He rushes over to you.
You smile and start taking off your coat. "I work today, Sun. Obviously."
After removing your hat and scarf, you grab your apron, brushing it off once or twice before clapping. "So, I was thinking we tackle the craft closet first and foremost, and then go from there with all our usual stuff, that sound good?"
When he doesn't answer you turn, only to jump when you realize he's right behind you, rays flicking side to side. He takes hold of your shoulders and bends to your level.
"Starshine."
"Sun." You nod.
His grip tightens for a moment, then loosens. He narrows his eyes. "We, are not. Working. On. Christmas."
"Well I'm already here—"
He shakes his head, picking you up suddenly. "Nope. Absolutely not. I won't allow it. If you're going to be here then we're going to make this right."
"Hey! Put me down! Where are you even taking me?" You kick your legs in vein, now slightly annoyed. Before you thought he was just joking, but now you realize he's dead serious.
You get your answer when he sets you down in a bean bag. Taking a moment to snatch up a blanket with one hand and untie your apron with the other. Before you can blink, the blanket is laid across you, you have several Christmas themed stuffed animals surrounding you, there's a set of antlers on your head, along with a coloring book in your lap.
Sun nods once down at you, hands on his hips. "Now, you get started on that and I'll get you some hot coco. Okay?"
"What, but—"
But he's already off again, "Don't move~ I'll be just a moment!"
Deciding that you're better off to indulge for a little bit, as opposed to outright protesting, you do as he asks. And, while not your favorite thing in the world, sitting and coloring in the peace of the Daycare, holiday music playing softly around you, is nice.
Sun's gone for longer than you would have expected. Especially for just a cup of premade hot chocolate. But, when he eventually returns you do take the time to thank him for the quick break, that you appreciate the thought, and that you're ready to actually get started for the day.
Surprisingly—suspiciously—he agrees.
You won't admit to longing for the warmth of the cozy nest you leave as you stand, but the longing isn't allowed to last for long. Sun's hand is tightly wound with yours as he leads you out of the Daycare and towards the theater.
You take a sip of your drink, confused but still following. "Um, did you want to start with the theater's supply closet then?"
"Friend, when I said no work on Christmas, I wasn't kidding." He stops just short of the entrance, energy now becoming more antsy.
He lets go of your hand and you frown. "I told you it's alright, Sunny. I don't mind, honestly."
"I know! We know, but,"—he shakes his head—"We want to, change that. Make it up to you! If, you'll let us?"
He's looking to you now. You're hesitant, of course you are, but you can at least hear him out. "Sure, bud."
"If you don't like it, that's okay too! We just, wanted to try." He turns slightly and starts to open the door.
You open your mouth to respond but are instead taken aback by how pretty the theater looks. There's warm lights strung across the ceiling, decorations of red and green that sparkle. A medium sized tree with decorations laying nearby sits near the middle of the room. Snowflakes in all intricate patterns litter the space. There's a video of a yule log playing on the screen, and music softly twinkles around you.
While not as intense as the Daycare in terms of the level of Christmas-vibes, there's something more, comforting, about it. Something maybe a bit more familiar, that unlocks a memory you'd left behind back when you were much smaller.
"When did you find the time for all of this?" You ask quietly. You'd been in here just yesterday and it looked nothing like this.
Sun comes up behind you, hand on your shoulder. "Just now. We just thought that maybe something a bit more relaxed, but still festive, could be fun for you? We can decorate the tree, or, or watch movies, or dance. Whatever you would like, honestly. Whatever you want."
"Whatever I want?" You look up to him, almost unable to speak.
He looks down to you and after a pause, wraps his arms around you with a nod. "No one should be sad during the holidays, Star. And it's, it's not our business why but, well, we just want to try and change that for a little bit. To try and make you a little happier."
The tears well up before you can stop them.
Sun starts panicking. "Oh! Don't cry. It's okay, we can just go back to the Daycare—"
"No, no it's okay, really." You sniff. Your reaches up to his faceplate, halting his fretting. "They're happy tears. I'm very grateful. And emotional."
He relaxes into your touch, but his tone is still concerned. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah I,"—you shake your head—"You know what? Let me just show you."
Without thinking further, you raise your other hand and pull his faceplate down to your lips. You release him again after a moment, giggling.
Sun's rays click, then—"Just to be sure, Moon would also like you to show him."
This causes you to laugh outright, and soon enough you're in the naptime attendant's arms instead.
You spend the rest of your day in higher spirits than you would have otherwise expected for the holiday. The attendant takes turns doing the various activities they planned with you. And maybe it's only because it's with them, or because of the new relationship you've found yourself in, but you find it all to be so much more bearable than before. More than bearable really, enjoyable. Truly and completely, enjoyable. For the first time in a long time.
"What are you thinking of, Star?" Moon asks as the two of you dance across the room.
You shake your head, smiling. "Just about how much I appreciate the two of you, is all."
"Just appreciate?"
You scoff. "I think you know by now it's more than that. Don't even think of trying to scam me out of more kisses."
He snickers in response.
Just the music for a moment.
"Thank you, guys. It means a lot."
Moon bends you for a dip, leaning in. "Merry Christmas, Starlight."
"Merry Christmas, Moon."
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
Thank you for the request @pip-plz!! Was fun to take this and make something wholesome, esp as someone who hasn't always had a fun holiday experience myself, hope I did it some justice!
Masterpost link
Tag list (if you would like added, see this post for more info):
@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8
@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles
@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva
@juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml
#i keep giving sun the spotlight in these smh#my sun bias be showing HARD fr fr#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sundrop#moondrop#dca fic#x reader#mm dca december
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The Holiday Party
Everything was going so well! You were dressed in an amazing dress, drawing the eyes of everyone in the room. The partners at your firm were impressed with not just your skills as an attorney, but also at your ability to network.
You could feel it happening. You were going to make partner after this party.
Then, the clock struck 8:00 pm.
You were dazzling the managing partner with your in depth knowledge of case law related to torts, when, you were interrupted mid-sentence with a rubber bulb being shoved into your mouth.
You looked back, first in indignation and then in shock, as you saw your husband standing there, smiling at your boss.
"I'm so sorry, sir. Is my little one bothering you? When she loses her paci, she can be quite the babbler."
Your face turned red with embarrassment and then with rage as your husband talked over your head. How dare he condescend to you like this in front of your boss!
Your boss laughed boisteriously as you pulled your pacifier out and turned to lecture your husband.
"What do you think you are..." you started before you were interrupted by your husband's firm hand.
"Baby, did you just take your pacifier out? Naughty girl! Excuse me, sir, I am so sorry," your husband said as he dragged you to the nearest chair and threw you over his lap, flipping your dress up and exposing your ass, barely covered by a thong, to the entire room.
"Baby, you know the rules! You are *mine* after 8:00 pm. That means paci, diapers, and *no* talking back."
Your husband--no, your Daddy, he was right it was after 8:00 pm--began raining blows on your exposed rear end as your entire office watched. Tears filled your eyes and you cried out as paralegals, junior attorneys, and your partners watched you get disciplined like a naughty child.
Eventually, the spanking stopped. Tears ran down your face and your ass cheeks burned. Your daddy called out to Susan, your paralegal.
"Susan, would you mind going to the coat check and grabbing my princess's diaper bag? I need to get her padded before she has an accident in her big-girl panties!"
Susan grinned as she eagerly complied with your husband's request, even offering to change you herself when she returned. Daddy, always protective, politely declined her offer, before stripping you naked, diapering you, and dressing you in nothing but a pastel pink onesie.
You spent the rest of the party sitting on a blanket on the floor in the corner of the room, being doted on and played with by your coworkers while your husband chatted with your bosses.
It was the most mortifying experience of your life, but you dared not complain for fear of a worse punishment.
When you returned to the office on Monday, you were prepared for things to be awkward, and you were righ to be. Paralegals, secretaries, and junior attorneys who had once looked up to you, now gave you condescending grins as they asked if you needed a diaper change or wanted your baba. It was mortifying.
You had tried convince your husband that you couldn't go back to work after the party, but he reassured you that, after his conversations with your bosses, you would be fine returning to the firm.
Only an hour into the day, you were called into a partners' meeting, a meeting that, at the start of that cursed party you had been excited about. You dreaded it now.
The managing partner looked at you with a soft smile as you entered the room.
"I know you were expecting a promotion today," he began, "But, after that party, everyone agrees that another shift in title is in order."
And that's how you found yourself here, sitting in your newly minted "corner office"--a playpen tucked away in the corner of the office near the restrooms--playing with dolls while waiting on Susan, the woman who you once supervised, to come change your messy diaper.
You weren't a partner at the firm. You were no longer even an associate. You were now the firm's adorable, diapered mascot, only good for filling diapers and boosting morale. All because you lost track of time at that horrible holiday party.
#ab/dl#ab/dl story time#ab/dl diaper#ab/dl caption#diaper stories#ab/dl kink#humiliation kink#ab/dl couple#diaper regression#ab/dl babygirl#The Holiday Party
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I ONLY HAVE TEN PAGES LEFT TO DRAW.
bruh ive been so productive this vacation. Literally finishing like a page a day (8 hour drawing session days lol).
I know i know I should relax But I'm alone for the holidays rn and I can do whatever I want and that means sitting in my underwear drawing while watching yt videos on the worst xmas movies of all time lol. This is enrichment to me lol. I have issues sitting still i need to focus and do something or i will explode and rn drawing this comic has been a huge outlet for that.
I'm heading to Canada tomorrow though and I'm super excited so today is my last drawing day for the year. I'm honestly super confident now I'll have this comic update out end of January.
I cannot believe I've been able to go from so far behind to caught up. But I have just been having plenty of art time after work so I've been able to speed though things.
I am HYPED to get this update out. It's going to be INSANE. like u guys have no idea. So much going on in this chapter. Lots of crazy stuff.
So yeah Canada trip tomorrow, and then update for comic hopefully end of January.
Also, I've started to see a therapist to help with my severe anxiety over the election. I'm hoping this will help to ease my mind. I've been needing a therapist anyway. I have so many unresolved things I need to get off my chest.
I hope everyones holidays are going well, and again thanks for the support on my work! You all have no idea how much it means to me. Whenever I'm feeling down about my art, I read all the comments and tags you all have left on my story and it motivates me so much. ❤️
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hi!!! congrats on 400<3. may i request a make up sex with mingi from ateez with the 12th quote, pls?
merry Christmas anon I decided to choose yours to write for Christmas I hope you enjoy this make up sex with mingi <333
The argument had been intense, the tension between you and Mingi reaching a boiling point.
You'd both said things you didn't mean, the words cutting deep and leaving wounds that felt like they might never heal. But now, as you stand there facing each other, the anger has faded and all that's left is an aching need to be close to one another. Mingi's eyes lock onto yours, his gaze intense as he takes a step closer to you.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice rough with emotion. "I didn't mean what I said. I was angry and hurt and I lashed out at you."
You feel a lump forming in your throat, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you hear the sincerity in his words.
"I'm sorry too," you whisper, your voice trembling slightly. "I said some awful things as well. I didn't mean them, Mingi. I was just so frustrated."
Mingi takes another step closer, closing the distance between you until there's only a few inches separating your bodies. He reaches out, his hand gently cupping your cheek as he looks down at you with a mixture of regret and desire.
"I know," he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. "I know you didn't mean it. But I can't stop thinking about what you said. The way you looked at me, the words that came out of your mouth... they've been haunting me all day."
He takes a deep breath, his eyes burning with a desperate need.
"I need to hear you say something else," he says, his voice dropping to a low growl. "I need to hear you scream my name when you cum."
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the desire in his voice sending a shiver down your spine. Mingi's eyes darken with hunger, his hand sliding from your cheek to grip your chin, forcing you to look up at him.
"I want to make you forget everything but my name," he whispers, his breath hot against your ear. "I want to erase every other thought from your mind until all that's left is me."
Mingi's grip on your chin tightens, his fingers digging into your skin as he pulls you closer. His body presses against yours, his muscular frame pinning you against the wall behind you. He captures your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue immediately plunging into your mouth as he claims you as his own.
The kiss is fierce and passionate, full of all the pent-up emotions and desire that have been building between you for hours. Mingi's hands roam over your body, his touch possessive and hungry as he claims every inch of you. He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your jawline and along your neck, leaving a trail of searing kisses in their wake.
He nips at your skin, leaving behind marks that are sure to linger for days, marking you as his. Mingi's anger and frustration from the argument come out in the way he touches you, his movements rough and desperate. He bites down hard on your collarbone, making you gasp in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
"You're mine," he growls against your skin, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he grinds against you. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget that again."
Mingi's mouth continues to explore your body, his lips and teeth marking you in all the places he knows are most sensitive. He reaches for the hem of your shirt, yanking it up and over your head in one swift motion. He takes a step back, his eyes raking over your exposed skin as he takes in the sight of you.
"So beautiful," he murmurs, his gaze darkening with desire. "And all mine."
Mingi lifts you up with ease, his strong arms wrapping around your body as he carries you towards the bedroom. He lays you down on the bed, his body hovering over yours as he gazes down at you with a possessive glint in his eyes.
"You're so perfect like this," he murmurs, his hands trailing up your thighs and under your skirt. "Spread out beneath me, waiting for me to take what's mine."
Mingi looks down at you, his eyes burning with a primal need.
"Can we skip the foreplay?" he asks, his voice rough with desire. "I need you, now. I need to feel you around me, I need to be inside you."
Mingi lets out a low growl at your nod, his eyes darkening with satisfaction.
"Good girl," he murmurs, his hands immediately going to the waistband of your skirt.
He pulls it off in one swift motion, leaving you completely bare beneath him. Mingi's eyes rake over your body, his gaze devouring every inch of your skin.
"So beautiful," he repeats, his voice thick with desire. "So perfect for me."
He runs his hands up your thighs, his fingers tracing the outline of your hips before moving to grip your waist.
"I'm going to make you scream," he promises, his thumbs digging into your skin. "I'm going to make you beg for more."
Mingi quickly sheds his own clothes, his body exposed to your hungry gaze.
He stands at the edge of the bed, towering over you with an air of dominance and control. His muscles ripple as he moves, the sight of him completely naked and aroused making your heart race with anticipation. Mingi looks down at you, his eyes locking onto yours as he asks the question.
"Can we skip the condom this time?" he asks, his voice low and serious. "I want to feel all of you, I want to fill you up and claim you in every way possible."
Mingi grins at your nod, a mix of relief and excitement crossing his face.
"Good," he murmurs, his hands roaming over your body once more. "I've been dreaming of this for so long."
He moves onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs as he gazes down at you with a predatory glint in his eyes. Mingi enters you in one smooth thrust, his body slotting perfectly against yours as he fills you completely. He lets out a low groan, his eyes rolling back in pleasure as he savors the feeling of being inside you without a barrier.
"God, you feel amazing," he breathes, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he holds himself still for a moment.
Mingi takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he adjusts to the sensation of being inside you.
"So tight," he murmurs, his voice strained with desire. "You're so tight and hot around me, it's driving me crazy."
He slowly pulls out, before thrusting back in again, burying himself deep inside you with a guttural moan.
Mingi sets a punishing pace, his hips snapping against yours as he begins to move with increasing intensity. He pounds into you relentlessly, each thrust hard and deep, hitting all the right spots and making you see stars. His hands roam over your body, gripping and squeezing your flesh as he claims you as his own. Mingi grabs your hips, flipping you over onto your hands and knees with a growl.
He positions himself behind you, his chest pressing against your back as he covers your body with his own. He grips your hair, tugging your head back and exposing your neck to him as he continues to pound into you from behind. Mingi's anger from the argument comes out in every snap of his hips, his body driving into you with a brutal intensity that makes you cry out.
He grips your hips tightly, pulling you back against him with each thrust as he buries himself deep inside you over and over again. His teeth graze the sensitive skin of your neck, nipping and biting at your flesh as he marks you as his in every way possible. Mingi's breath is hot against your ear as he speaks, his voice low and rough with desire.
"You're mine," he growls, his hips slamming against yours with each word. "You're mine, and I'm never letting you go."
He lets go of your hair, his hand trailing down your body to find your clit.
He begins to rub it in time with his thrusts, his fingers expertly working your sensitive flesh as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. The added stimulation of his fingers on your clit makes you moan loudly, your body arching back against his as pleasure courses through you. Mingi grins against your skin, his teeth grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear.
"That's it," he murmurs, his voice filled with satisfaction. "Let me hear you. Let everyone hear how good I'm making you feel."
You gasp out his name, the word a breathless moan on your lips.
"Mingi... please..." you whimper, your body trembling beneath his touch as you feel yourself nearing the edge.
Mingi's grin widens at the sound of his name on your lips, his pace becoming even more frantic as he drives you closer and closer to your release.
"Please what, baby?" he teases, his fingers continuing to work your clit with a relentless rhythm. "Tell me what you want."
"Come for me," he growls, his own climax drawing near as he feels your body tightening around him.
He quickens his pace even further, his hips snapping against yours with a desperate urgency as he chases both of your releases. With a few more thrusts, Mingi finally sends you over the edge, your body convulsing beneath him as your orgasm crashes over you. He lets out a guttural moan as he feels you clenching around him, his own release following closely behind as he spills himself deep inside you.
He collapses on top of you, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath, his arms wrapped tightly around you as he holds you close. Mingi nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, his breathing slowly returning to normal as he comes down from his high. He presses soft kisses to your skin, his voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and tenderness as he speaks.
"Promise me," he murmurs, his arms tightening around you. "Promise me we'll never fight like that again."
#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#mingi hard hours#ateez mingi#mingi x reader#mingi smut#song mingi#mingi#mingi hard thoughts#mingi x you#ateez scenarios#ateez
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A selection of the daily letters (sent but undelivered) to Gio Fiore:
26 August 2017
Dear Gio, I'm writing you this letter because even as summer's ended, my father has yet to give me back my phone and laptop. So I hope that, somehow, this gets to you. Papa, Enzo and I are back in Milan. It's only an hour's drive away from Laglio, but it felt like it went on forever. The whole ride over, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and why you didn't show. You promised last night you'd come see me off but there was no sign of you at all. No call, no text, not even a note. Have I said something last night that's offended you? Or maybe done something to push you away? Whatever it is, please tell me, so I can make things right. I miss you so much already, but love you even more. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours always, Nicola xo
01 September 2017
My dearest Gio, It's been a week since I've seen or heard from you, and every day, I miss you more and more. It's another few days until school starts, but my father's announced at dinner tonight that we'll be moving all the way to the other end of the country — far, far away from you, to his hometown in Palermo, Sicily. At first I didn't understand why he would be pulling me out of school my senior year, but eventually, he came clean. It's to protect the baby, he said. But I don't know if I can fully believe him. Something in me feels like it might have more to do with not letting anyone in Milan know that his teenage daughter is with child. I wish you were here. More than anything. Love always, Nicola xo
08 September 2017
Tesoro mio, Palermo is beautiful, not unlike Laglio. It's sunny here most of the time, and I spend my days taking walks. My doctor here said it's good for both me and the baby. But I get tired often. That's to be expected, she said and I just nod along. I don't tell her that I don't really sleep well at night. I'd hate for it to somehow reach my father's ears. Everyone here knows everybody. But it's okay, I don't really mind the walks. I don't know anyone else here so walking passes the time. I've attached our address at the back of this letter, in case you can come and visit. I hope you do. I miss you terribly. Until then, Nicola xo
15 September 2017
My darling Gio, I had an ultrasound appointment this morning. Our baby's heartbeat is getting stronger with each visit. I wish I could somehow send you a snippet of it but I've no way to send it to you. My father has given me back my laptop, for school, but there's no internet in the house. We should appreciate nature more, he said. As if me taking my daily walks isn't enough. Still, I'll keep the audio file for when I can send you things online again. Thinking about you Nicola xo
03 October 2017
Cuore mio, This letter's a little bulkier than usual. I found this cute birthday card the other day and thought you might find it funny. I've also attached a photo of me and baby. As you can see, my bump's more noticeable now. I hope you're celebrating your special day as wonderfully as we had planned it should be. I'm sorry I'm not there to personally wish you a happy birthday. But please know that I'm thinking of you always. Happy birthday, my love. May you have many, many more to come. Love you forever, Nicola xo
16 October 2017
My love! We're having a boy! I just got back from another ultrasound check and was told that we're having a boy! I've included a snapshot of him in the envelope. It's a little hard to see but I promise, it's there! Haha! I know it's late but perhaps this can serve as my late birthday present. :) Wish you were here, Nicola xo
28 November 2017
Dear Gio, Felt our son kick for the very first time just now, and the first thing I thought of was to tell you so you could feel it, too. That is, until I remembered that you're not here. Oh well, at least you'll know when this gets to you. Better late than never, I guess. Goodnight for now, Nicola xo
25 December 2017
Dearest darling, I hope you're keeping warm there in Laglio. When my mother was still alive, she used to tell me of how the winters there can get quite cold. So, please don't forget to wear your jacket. And gloves. And a hat! I'd hate for you to ever get sick, especially during the holidays. I wish we were spending Christmas together but hearing from you would be more than enough for me. Either way, I wish you and your family a very happy holiday season. And I hope you receive everything you've wished for. Merry Christmas, amore mio. I love you. Forever yours, Nicola xo
27 December 2017
Love of my life, I hope that by the time this reaches you, it'd be New Year's Eve, so that in a way, I'm there with you when the new year rolls around. As the year slowly comes to a close, I find myself torn. Saying goodbye to this year feels like bidding you — and our memory together — a final farewell. But as much as it pains me that we won't be starting 2018 like we wanted to, in three months' time, our son will be here. And I can only pray that you will be with us by then, too. Please never forget how much I love you. Until my last breath, I am forever yours. Your Nicola xo
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The more I think about it the more I realize how different my three takes on Ford are, three being how I see and write him as close to canon as possible- my time lord twins AU and my modernity AU. Just a cumulation of how many things can significantly change how a character is and I didn't notice by how much until I was talking about it with a friend and things made a surprising amount of sense. Case and point, this phrase!
"You're a good man."
There's three replies to that with how I understand Ford's character and please forgive me for rambling about this shit because I REALLY love picking up this man and dissecting him into atoms maybe I should make a youtube video-
Anyway, first off- canon!
"I try my best."
I genuinely think that after all of the things Ford's done, forgiveness is a barrier but not something impossible. In canon, ultimately he tries to make mends and he is atoning. For somebody who can hold a grudge for that long, I would think having your own faults must be hell on earth to live through as well. You can't exactly forgive yourself and you can only give as much as you have.
That's kind of the whole point to the series' ending in my mind. He just becomes more painfully aware of himself and the people around him not in the paranoid sense but just- how he is percieved or the consequences of his actions. He believes he can be good and is trying. Hence that response. Stanford's not refusing the idea, but he's not outright accepting it either because he's still working towards it.
Who said an old dog can't learn new tricks? Next!
"You don't know what you're talking about."
In my time lord twins AU, Stanford's hero complex and obsession with being special is cranked up stupidly high! On the run from Bill all across the multiverse he stumbles upon Gallifrey and realizes the state they're in is pretty damn precarious thanks to the Daleks and the Time Lords at WAR. In his mind at the time, all he could think of was saving as many people as he could.
Honestly, nobody would want to be in a war and frankly if it wasn't for the Time War and his Time Lord mentor things would likely be the same as canon. Ford believed too much that he was meant for great things and bit off more than he could chew!
Now carrying the title of the doctor, he doesn't believe he is a good man. He outright refuses it. A good man wouldn't have blood on his hands, a good man wouldn't have entire planets and civilizations kneeling at the mention of his name. A good man is respected, but that respect isn't born out of fear.
Stanford as the Doctor refuses this. He is not a good man. He damn well tries to be, but he knows not even forever could mend his mistakes and sins. He walks among the destruction of his own making, and he just lives with it.
Pretty depressing! Okay, let's look at something happier!
"I'm glad you think so. Thank you."
In the modernity AU, Ford hasn't done many if not most of the regrets that his counterparts often have. Yes he bickers with Stan a lot but it's never something that tears them apart, they could be having a word war over lunch but at the end of the day they're best friends again.
Ford still has his sense of justice and strong morals but in this case, it's not something he regrets and he doesn't exactly develop a hero complex because he doesn't believe he is special. He doesn't have that disparity with Stan and fundamentally that changes a lot of how he thinks.
It also helps that growing up, he's been humbled repeatedly by his brother or his peers. In this AU, he's always kept on his toes because the edge he has is only competitive enough against the many who are more than willing to work themselves to the bone for the same level of achivement.
If somebody tells him he's good, Stanford is just glad that's the perception of him and reacts accordingly. He's not often good at recieving compliments or god forbid flirting his poor brain can't keep up- but this much he is just thankful for the acknowledgement.
Tell me your thoughts or what you think about all this HAHAHAHA
#my delulu is deluluing chat#I just like ranting about Ford 90% of the time he's that blorb I want to squeeze until his head explodes#gravity falls#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls ford#gf stanford#ford#gravity falls au#grunkle ford#stanford#young stanford pines#character headcanons#modernity au#time lord twins au
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leaked v10 script
#rwby#rwby spoilers#ruby rose#raven branwen#rosebird#my art#rwby v9#this has been the only thing on my mind for well over a day now#i can’t believe rose bird exes is canon#anyway how’s day one of hiatus treating y’all
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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ooc
#i keep thinking of my heckna campaign (it's always on my mind and has been for over two years yeah)#but ummmm yeah my players can never find a day to play#i love that campaign i love playing it with them but it's a bit exhausting being the only person trying#there's one of my players who joined recently and was a spectator until very recently who's responsible#but aside from that im the one chasing after them always#and im... well#im attached to them as players and do have fun witb them but truth be told I don't really consider them friends anymore#they did some questionable things to a mutual friend#and i told them i wanted to talk about it because it upset me but that wouldnt change our relationship#because they had done nothing to me personally#but we never got to talk. in fact we havent seen each other in person for almost a year#when they know im unemployed and frankly free on most days#they never text me first either and we only talk about rp-related stuff#which doesn't really hurt anymore? they aren't my friends but they're my players and im okay with thar#but now... yeah they're kinda elusive as players as well#i know if i go and tell them i want to drop our campaigns i will lose them for good. there is nothing between us anymore#that does sadden me a little because they aren't bad people and i have loved them so so much#but... yeah they didn't make any efforts as friends and now they don't do it as players either#i think i could be able to put together a new table to be honest#because i do want to run heckna. it is a campaign that means so so so much to me#and... well i can live without dragon heist i suppose? i was really invested in my player's dynamics#and relationships with npcs#and i was SO excited to see it develop... but i don't think that's gonna happen in... idk years?#im just... thinking.#i could be my 'game day' to. you know. actually play something#ooc#negativity cw
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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