#this has been my phone wallpaper for a year bc. Her

[the-kr8tor]

Okay I had a fic idea and rushed to tumblr to see if your requests were open I'm lowkey shaking rn.

Anyway can we imagine hobie and reader who are friends but secretly having feelings for each other, and one night reader gets a little too drunk at a party and sends a confession text to hobie ?! And the way he would come to pick her up right after this and confess in return AAAAAAAKFODJODNXODBF do you think you could write something about it ? No one can write Hobie fics like you 💕❤️

Hi hi I combined both of your requests bc they were similar hope you don't mind. Changed it up a bit but it's basically the same! Thank you for requesting!! 😘❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), CW alcohol, fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Getting wine drunk is a bad idea, getting wine drunk alone is an even worse idea. Your vision swirls whilst you watch the most mind numbing reality tv there is. Mind hazy, the smell of stale popcorn filtering in the air, blanket comfortably on your legs. You look at your phone right next to you like it owes you money.

With a narrowed glance, the screen blinks open like you commanded it in your mind. You don't miss how you quickly take it in your wobbly hands despite the alcohol warming your insides. Huffing, you're immensely disappointed to see a notification from one of the games you play to pass the time.

‘Your castle is under attack!’ it says in bold letters, and you wish it was him texting you instead. Your wallpaper doesn't help much with your pining, the picture’s a bit blurry but even the blurriness can't hide how deeply in love you are with your best friend. You remember when the photo was taken, and you remember how fast your heart was beating in your ribcage when Hobie yanked you towards him. Sweat still clinging to him from his energetic performance, adrenaline still flowing in his veins as he squeezes his face close to yours. He gives the camera his signature smirk, whilst you could only manage a lopsided smile. Eyes shimmering under the spotlights, arms bravely wrapped around his middle.

You still can't believe you fumbled that day, you thought you had your confession in the bag, but when he stared at you with those brown eyes you loved so much since year eight, the words got stuck in your throat. With alcohol in your system, flooding your nerves with courage, you open your phone to finally tell him your feelings.

> Heyyy boo thang <3

You giggle whilst you hover your thumb at the send button. Backtracking and drunk off cheap wine, you add more to your message.

> Heyyy boo thang <3 just messaging u how ur doing and also I love u so much like a lot ever somce you held my hand during pe when that ball hit my face I loveee u and not just a friend muah <3

Eyes scanning the message, a sudden realization hits you like a truck, as if sobering you immediately. The thought of sending a love confession to *your best friend has you sitting up right on the settee, moreso via text message. But before you could erase it and forget about it, a sudden scream startles you, jolting, the sound making you drop your phone on the carpet.

“Shit!” You glare at the fallen phone then at the telly where the reality stars are now pulling each other's hair like they're in the playground.

With an annoyed click of your tongue, you take your phone from the ground to check the damage. Sighing in relief, you see no cracks in the screen, but your heart falls on the floor once you see that your drunken message has been sent. “No! Motherfucker—!”

Hobie’s head is pounding from the combined powers of the pints he chugged and the loud music banging on stage. The old leather seats of the booth scratch at his jeans, the smoky and musty air entering his lungs, and the warm lights shining in his blurring vision. He usually doesn't mind it, he thrives in the environment. But his band mates basically dragged him into the pub when he was supposed to be hanging out with you tonight.

“Mates before chicks!” James said, earning a loud slap from Yuri a second later. “You hang around her too much, we miss our guitarist.” Ned mumbles with his puppy dog eyes that Hobie never thought would actually work on him. “Just one round with us! And you can come back home to your girl.” Riri added with a teasing grin. Hobie didn't even correct her at this point, and he knows it’s not just for one round.

After sending you a heartfelt message using Ned's phone, he rescheduled the weekly hangout where you and Hobie would watch the crappiest show you could find airing on cable, and whoever leaves the couch first owes the winner dinner. To which Hobie always sees as a win/win, he gets to hangout with you more, and he gets to see you smile when he purposely loses. Hobie invited you to the pub, even though he knows you'd reject his proposal, simply because he knows you hate the place, and how the carpet sticks to your shoes.

He knows you more than he knows himself.

It's hard enough to find the time to see you with all his responsibilities. He hates it when he could only settle with a quick phone call every night to check in on eachother. Especially when just a few years ago you were hanging out with him almost everyday.

He never thought he'd miss you this much when he agreed.

Hobie loves his friends, he really does, but you just have a very special place in his heart that he wishes he was in yours too.

Nursing a pint, he drowns his feelings with the amber drink and loud chatter with his band mates. Riri grumbles something about her landlord, while Yuri replies back with a ‘mine’s always open for subletting,’ she says in a singing tone. A minute later, the entire table looks at him with similar glints in their eyes.

“What?” He asks a little too roughly.

“You should get your own phone, mate, because I don't want to see your bloody messages.” Ned scoffs, his phone in hand. “Seriously, this one is sweet and all but this could take a turn real fucking quick, and I don't want to see that shit.”

“What the fuck are you talkin' ‘bout?” Hobie doesn't think he's that drunk yet, even though he doesn't notice how his words slur together, or how his tongue sits heavy in his mouth.

Riri and Yuri giggle amongst themselves, while James takes a peek at Ned's phone before making a dramatic shocked face.

His nerves shoot up when James mouths your name. Are you hurt? Are you mad at him? “Y/N, texted? What’d she say?” Hobie tries to snatch the phone from Ned, to which his friend pulls it away from him playfully.

“Oh I'm gonna need some popcorn.” Yuri snickers.

Ned, being equally drunk, clears his throat dramatically while leaning away from Hobie, who is too drunk to even win against James who's currently holding him back. James laughs like a hyena in Hobie's ear, while Riri takes a picture of the chaos.

“Hey! Boo thang! Heart emoji.” Ned reads unabashedly, the girls laugh louder at Hobie's expense. “Just messaging you how you're doing, and also I love you so much!” Ned tries to copy your voice, “Like a lot—!” Hobie has had enough, cheeks hot (not from the alcohol) he uses his spider strength to push past James, then grabbing the phone so quickly that not even the owner processed what happened until he sees it in Hobie's hand. “You're no fun, mate.”

“Has anyone ever told you not to read someone else's messages?” Hobie hides the screen on his chest.

“It's my fucking phone!” Ned gestures wildly.

Hobie glares at his bassist, he peeks down at the bright screen, your name up top and caller ID smiling at him. He can't help but smile back.

He might be drunk, but he's not drunk enough to hallucinate you confessing your love to him. Via Ned's phone nonetheless.

He feels bodies crowd around him, Yuri's chin is pressed on his left shoulder while Ned on his right. Riri pushes James away to get a closer look at the screen while James settles to loom over everyone like some muscle-bound shield.

“What the fuck are you lot doin’?” Hobie asks, hands gripping the phone like it's about to be snatched from him.

“We're dying from anticipation here, bruv.” James says above everyone.

“‘Anticipation’, that's a big word, James.”

“Eat a bag of dicks, Yuri.”

“You first—”

“Would you all shut up?” Hobie hisses, eyes glued to the tiny dots at the bottom, indicating that you're currently typing.

“She's typing.” Riri whispers.

“We can all see that, Riri.” Ned whispers back.

Hobie shushes them both when the three dots disappear without a new message. His heart hammers at his chest, he feels like he's back in high school, way back when you could just smile at him and his day will be made better.

“Just tell her, mate.” Ned says a lot softer than Hobie thought he was capable. “We all know you love her, just bloody tell her because I'm gonna need my phone back to call a cab real fucking soon.” And he ruined it.

“D’you have a curfew, Neddy?” James asks teasingly, earning a scowl from Ned.

Ned rolls his eyes. “I'm just saying, she might appreciate it if you actually reply to it.”

“I think she's drunk.” Riri pipes up, everyone looks at her. She roams her eyes towards each of their faces. Rolling her eyes she points at the message. “Look, there's so many mistakes there and I've texted with Y/N before, she doesn't text like that.”

“What's wrong with texting with spelling mistakes? I do that.” James smiles.

“Because it's just you, you ding dong.” Yuri teases, and James fakes a deep frown.

“Being drunk doesn't mean she didn't mean the text. The alcohol might've just helped her send it.” Ned reassures Hobie.

“I did it.” Hobie half exclaims, bleary eyes repeatedly reading his text. I fucking did it, shit! He thinks to himself. Hobie's suddenly incredibly sweaty.

“Oh shit! That's my guy!” Ned punches Hobie's bicep. The rest look at him with bewilderment.

“What did you even say?” Riri scooches closer to read.

> I love you too I might be drunk right now but I wasn't when I first realized it I have loved you since you gave me hot chocolate when I was freezing my ass off trying to win that stupid selling contest

“Holy fuck.” Yuri pats Hobie's cheek. “Can't believe you're capable of being sweet.”

“Shit, bruv,” James sniffs, his tears falling on the screen. “that shit is awe inspiring— don't even start, Yuri”

“Wasn't gonna,” she shrugs.

Ned pokes Hobie's side when he realizes his friend hasn't moved an inch from his position. “You okay, Hobs?”

Hobie inhales shakily, a smile slowly spreading across his lips once your message pops up. He swears that fireworks suddenly lit up inside him.

“Oh my god—” Riri tears up, but before the rest of the band reads the message, Hobie jumps out of his seat, even forgetting his own jacket in the process.

“Hobie—shit! Wait!” Ned tries to call him back, but Hobie's already out of the pub, sprinting fast. “My fucking phone.” He could only scratch his head.

The wind nips at his bare arms, lungs heaving whilst he runs at full speed. He should've brought his web shooters with him, but he unfortunately left it in his jacket pockets. If he had them he'd be swinging to your place so he could get to you faster.

Hobie's glad that it's late, or else he'll be dodging people left and right. Boots thumping loudly across the pavement, hand gripping Ned's phone, getting closer to your familiar street, he curves around the corner, almost bumping into you.

He stops your momentum with his arms. He feels his own jacket against his arms, you wear his hoodie well. Your chest heaves, grin slowly appearing on your wind whipped lips.

“Hobie?” You ask and everything clicks together in his mind.

All the tentative touches you two shared, all the hugs that lingered a few seconds longer, all the times that you looked at him like he fished the moon out for you. And all the times he looked at you like you're made out of stars. It all comes together in that dusty street corner where you both have crossed a thousand times before.

“Looks like we had the same idea.” Hobie softly says, clammy hands sliding down to your own sweaty palms. He doesn't mind, it's you, so he would never mind it.

“I guess you read my message.” You hold him close, hands squeezing at his hands that you've mapped out in your mind.

He chuckles, sliding his hand out from yours to show you the screen. “‘Say it to me in person and I'll say it back,’ doesn't give me much leeway, love.” The streetlight above perfectly aligns above you, giving you both a spotlight.

You mirror his smitten smile. “What are you waiting for then?”

Hobie pockets the phone, then he holds your face gently, eyes staring at you like he always has. “I love you.”

You pull him closer by his collar. “I love you too, Hobie Brown.”

“Since when?” He rags you on.

You roll your eyes with a smile. “Ever since I got hit in the face with a basketball and you deflated it with your spiked bracelet and then called the jock who threw it a wanker.” He smiles wider at every word you utter. Leaning closer, he smells the wine on your lips. “The hot cocoa, really? That—” you fight the tears from flowing. “That was years before we became best friends.”

“And I've continued to love you since then, and will love you as long as you let me.” Hobie presses his forehead atop yours, a kiss would suffice better, but for now, he'll settle for this.

You know him better than you know yourself. “Save me a kiss once we're both sober?”

“They're all reserved for you, love.”

[vannyinthestars]

Bringing back my favorite non-described Trojan Side Character, Emma Swift <3 to drop some little headcanons and tidbits and things that get hinted at in Smoke & Spurs

- She’s from a tiny town near the Arizona/California border

- Grew up on a dairy farm

- Drives a rusted out blue pickup, the thing is halfway to falling apart on the side of the road but she loves it. She also claims that since it looks like a hunk of junk it’s less likely to get broken into in LA (which has been proven right thus far)

- Started playing exy in middle school, trying to have an extracurricular after school because her mom couldn’t pick her up right away and her dad didn’t want to drive all the way into town from the farm

- She was awful at first. She played goalie for awhile because it was the last line of defense and everybody else just worked harder to keep the ball away from her.

- She’d spend hours practicing at the farm, well after dark relying on the lights from the barn and a headlamp.

- By the time she made it to the high school team she was playing as a Striker because she was smaller framed, fast, and had built up a decent amount of strength simply pushing around cattle all day.

- Edgar Allen tried to recruit her during her season her senior year. Thea had come with, being local-ish at the time and knowing ravens like to travel in groups.

- She turned them down simply because she didn’t want to live that far from home. She didn’t realize the bad vibes and totally idolized Kevin, but wanted to be within a couple hours of her mom and dad.

- she didn’t get recruited by USC but listed her sport under her extracurriculars when she applied. They offered her a spot on the line up since they had a lot of senior strikers graduating.

- She’s majoring in Business Law, she wants to help save the small family farms of America from corporations taking up so much of the market share.

- her and Thea got along weirdly well, choosing to keep in minimal contact after Emma’s pestering. She didn’t quite understand why Thea seemed so adverse to it.

- she has a dog named Sparky and a horse named Daffodil that are her phone wallpaper and she shows everybody pictures of constantly.

- The Trojans gc gets the occasional photo of her doing crazy farm nonsense throughout the summer. One time, it was just her riding a cow with 0 explanation.

- Her and Jean don’t click at first and she just off handedly says “It’s weird, Thea says you’re so nice,”

- Jean getting violent whiplash bc how does she know Thea

- Slowly he warms up to her, it’s kind of like the older brother instinct. Except he watches her drop a man on his ass with one punch and realizes he doesn’t need to be protective at all, she’s pretty much able to handle herself.

- Her being a weird Kevin fangirl and then actually meeting him on the court and Jean being like “he is really not that special”

- she teases about Jean’s French accent. He can’t even be bitchy about it because she speaks fairly good French (4 years in high school)

- Jeremy and Emma chaotic blonde striker duo. “The dumb blondes” and her being offended because his hair is bleached. “He’s not even a natural blonde!”

Idk I’m obsessed w/ the idea of her

[islandiis]

get to know the mun.

what's your phone wallpaper: my lockscreen is a photo my best friend and I took on a small rowboat in Sweden last summer. My background is a cute photo of my parents from behind, made even more special to me by the fact that my dad is wearing our team's football jersey which has our family's name and our football motto on it :)

last song you listened to: Little Dark Age, MGMT

currently reading: PiKHAL by Alexander Shulgin. I read TiKHAL (the second book) first bc I'm more interested in the subject of the second book!

last movie: Ummmm Ég Man Þig?? or Hlemmur?? OR The Cowboy Bebop movie LMFAOOO I can't remember the last movie I watched tbh I don't do that very often

last show: How To Change Your Mind

what are you wearing right now: the leggings I wear under my fishing trousers (I was fishing lmao), a crop top and a university hoodie

piercings/tattoos?: I have my earlobes pierced and seven tattoos!! They are: - a vegvísir and the date I was told I was cancer free (09.02.17, I got the tattoo the day after lol, it was my very first!) - coordinates - a quote from an anime (which is and always has been a very cringe anime but idgaf it brought me joy at the time and I don't fuck with regrets so. Yeah I have a Voltron tattoo that says 'go, be great'). no regrets - "þetta reddast", an Icelandic phrase which means 'things will work out' which sounds great and happy but is also used in like a fake-positivity, dismissive way. I'm not the best with my own emotions sometimes and I felt like it was funny and fitting bc I expect positivity of myself Always (I'm in therapy now lmao) and that ain't realistic - "ævintýri", the Icelandic word for 'adventure' bc that's what my life is all about &lt;3 - a sun, because in the past few years several people have told me I'm "bright like the sun", "the human embodiment of sunshine", etc. and that's the nicest compliment I've ever gotten. I want to keep that with me always :') - a plane, a (semi) matching tattoo I got with a girl in a hostel I met for one (1) day. I held the door for her and we started talking. It was her first time in Ireland so I bought her a Guinness and taught her the word 'sláinte' - we decided we'd get tattoos to commemorate our meeting and carry a wee bit of one another with us :) she got sláinte tattooed but if I got that I'd get beat up bc I'm from the North so she got sláinte and I got a plane (which she had suggested). Everytime I look at that tattoo I think about her and how grateful I am we met, even just for a day.

glasses/contacts?: I wear glasses most of the time but I have contacts I can wear when I feel like!!

last thing you ate: onion rings lmao

favorite colors: YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW!!! I'm slowly making my life as full of yellow as possible bc it brings me joy :)

current obsession: I'm always obsessed with mushrooms and poisons tbh. mycology and toxicology are my shit. Recently I've also been focusing on one biiig passion of mine - getting more involved in activism and advocating for [redacted bc I know the topic can be triggering/sensitive for some people so I want to be mindful]

do you have a crush right now?: that Hozier song that is like "I fall in love just a little bit every day with someone new" is me bc I love people. I just love people. I'm not in love with people, I just love them - friends, strangers, whatever. But yes I have a crush right now lol I'm just sort of going with the flow and not really acknowledging it bc I'm so free spirited that idk where I want to be right now exactly, so I'm just gonna see how it all goes!!

favorite fictional character: OH DAMN. fuck. I mean, Fannar, my OCs Afthas and Hrafna. My best friend's characters (her Finland for example, UGH I'M OBSESSED). Other than that...?? Lio Fotia is my babygirl (and my cosplay victim &lt;;3)

tagged by: @fangmother

tagging: @frestoniia @offreedom @ anyone else who wants to do it!!!

[seoafin]

i can see it. barou working out in a dimly lit room all huffing puffing with his earphones plug in, and when someone ask what he is listening to bc he has that one serious face on…it's lacrimosa or moonlight sonata, by next week violinist!mc and him would be sitting tgt and discuss classical music or sth.

ironically, the next person who i can imagine to somehow get along with violinist!mc would be,, shidou. (idk why but admitting to liking him is kinda embarrassing, maybe it's bc of that scene in the u20 match LMFAO). not sure how when and why but they might be on a amicable term, considering that shidou top subject next to p.e is actually art…maybe he'll understand mc's grind and it somehow fell onto his whole speech thing

i gotta get this out, but how petty is violinist!mc even tho it has been 6 years, is she still bitter to the point that even on a 50%-70% discount day for shoes brands, if she saw either nagi or reo the first thing she walked in to the store as the store's wallpaper (they're the brand ambassador or sth) will she just turn on her heels and left then and there to find another brand instead 😭 and considering that mc may or may not went big (she's in the states?? i think?? bc you wrote "Times Square").

is she still playing violin on a stage/ competition, or has she branch out her like making osts for movies/ games/ etc. and why did nagi even suddenly thought of her after all those years and become a pining wife when her husband left for the sea. ,, if that's counted as spoiler for future chaps…then it's fine to leave us in the dark!!!

your fic never failed to reel ppl in, including me,, sth abt your writing style are so HFGDHGDGHVH

pls rion is absolutely gorg…her EYELASHES!!!!, when that director guy spill the beans i never been felt gobsmack…i thought that maybe she's in a 3rd party of the assassination community or sth instead of…[redacted].

and now that you point out, i have no idea why but i immediately link nagumo and the faceless men from GoT tgt???? probs its bc they are assassins but when you broke him down i just…connected sth…and idk why. tho i rly agree, that he's not entirely a blank slate, like he does have a personality before sth in the JCC flashback arc makes him on that 404 error personality if someone try to pry + that bloodlust scene in the temple when the guy pissed him off

chrollo and nagumo before the narrative sent them into a spiral are so!!!! they are my meow meows (but if i saw someone drag them in a post i probably would be laughing along tho dhfvbhdbhd like get their ass!!), the baby phantom troupes past are so TwT… - 🐱

spoilers for my nagireo fic

help not shidou.......but honestly i feel like any character that acknowledges violinmc's commitment and passion for the violin would immediately get along with her. she's the type to backtrack once they compliment her. she would definitely think shidou is a delinquent but then he says something about how her form was beautiful and she's like well. i was mistaken about him. but yes she's petty as hell but also there's off the screen character development bc she later acknowledges that the two of them were just kids and she was (un)rightfully hurt and immature about nagi making other friends LMAO

she issss in the states <3333 well briefly. i think after high school she went to a conservatory in germany and then played in various different orchestras as first chair. haven't ironed out those details yet. i think nagi has always kept violinmc in his mind lmao and tidbit i really really wanna add to a later drabble is that nagi was watching mc's performances on his phone in bllk. i think it'd just be very nagi esque for him to one day just go. yeah. i should talk to her. no rhyme or reason. one day it hits him how much he wants to see her again.

ahhfhhwbgbwe i love rion. i want to write the gayest drabble ever featuring that line of hers about how you can learn a lot about a person by tasting their tears or smt??? is that not the gayest thing ever.

[cagedchoices]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

What's your phone wallpaper?: my lock screen is a picture of my old cat, Stacy and my home screen is one of Pouf. I keep thinking I should change them to pictures of my cat, Inky and my horse, Rosie instead but I haven't done it yet.

Last song listened to: season of the witch - lana del rey

Last movie: it was either s.cream or the l.ord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring. I don't remember which one i watched first

Last show: i've been rewatching a dumb little h.alo machinima webseries call r.ed vs b.lue all week

What are you wearing right now?: comfy relaxed jogger sweatpants and a long sleeve thermal shirt. I am cozy.

How tall are you?: 5'4"

Piercings/Tattoos: my ears are pierced but i haven't worn earrings in years. no tattoos bc I can think of few things more anxiety inducing for myself.

Glasses/Contacts?: glasses. which desperately need to be replaced because it has been 10 years and my eyesight is definitely getting worse. also a fun fact: i once asked my optometrist if i could get contacts when i started high school and he just. shut me down immediately and was like no. impossible. too expensive. you'd need completely custom ones and even then laser eye surgery would be cheaper when you're older. i forget exactly what else he said but he sounded so annoyed that i would even dare to ask.

Last thing you ate?: Italian Bread

Favorite Color: blue

Current obsession: what like I can name just one? lol

Do you have a crush right now?: no.

Favorite fictional character: this might come as a surprise. or maybe not. but it's actually peregrin took aka pippin from the lord of the rings. although jesse pinkman from breaking bad is a close second place.

Last place you traveled: if we're talking when is the last time i left my house? i went to the ranch last month because my horse got kicked and was sad so i spent time with her and helped hose her legs. in terms of when is the last time i did a real travel, i think it was August 2022 when my mom, my aunt, my sister, and me went to monterey for a whale watching adventure. we also visited the aquarium.

tagged by @themacabrebarbie

[castle-dominion]

castle 6x20 that 70s show

the 70s episode liveblog

I made my big bro watch this w me bc he's 70s obsessed.

Cement? mob hit? They would have had to weigh him down bc humans float in concrete. Also yeah what do you do? the one u call is the foreman. They deal with it not you. Reminds me of the ep where the police chief constable was gay & buried a body under the station & they found it while

KATE BECKETT I’ll make the coffee. CASTLE I’ll make the omelets. MARTHA RODGERS And I am going to make your day.

Love how the bells kind of slow down & go low & get weird. I mean at least the arch was nice.

MR: Richard, I am simply trying to bring a little pageantry into your wedding. But it seems that the only role you want me to play is that of guest. Fine. I can do that. I LOVE her

You can't make ANYTHING in a wedding a not-over the top disaster.

78 just like my brother's no wait falsettos was '79. disco era my beloved. RC: And a testament to the truly indestructible nature of polyester.

Milt Boyle: Vince Bianchi. Before he turned into the pile of bones you guys found. Love his VOICE

OH OH YEA DET. SANDVICH. OR SANOVICH I CAN'T TELL. HE'S THE ONE WHO SITS ACROSS FROM BECKS. I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER THAT THIS MORNING. also under esposito's feet, he's at Det veiss(something) or messer's desk I can't tell what it says bc it is grainy & under shadow

Love the music too. Is it black or is it a dark colour? obv not powder blue... RC: It’s like being transported to a bygone era. Mickey the Blade? Louie the Lip? Where are these guys now?

Hey Frank Russo REALLY looks like the guy in the picture who, yk, went through second puberty. Love their accents. 4ksqft is a lot wow. Broke bread, shot the breeze, I love phrases. Harold Leone, as in lee-ohwn, not lee-ohwn-ee like brad leone from bon appetit Love how Becks calls Boyle on her own desk phone bc, well, yeah. Also set design my beloved, we have a pic of sanovich's kid on his desk

He knew things? Yeah ofc, he was the advisor!

Big bro thought that maybe this gal was just wearing Black fashion. Yvonne my beloved Frozen in time? Dumbass clothes? I thought it was cute. Wow it HAS been 40 years almost...

Beckett def not 70s enough.

YVONNE: Harold? You have guests. HAROLD LEONE: Huh? (he comes from the kitchen) Whoa!!! Well, this hot mama can be my guest all night long. He approaches KB and she holds out her hand. KB: Uh, sir, I’m Detective Beckett and this is Mr. Castle. HL: Captain. HL shakes RC’S hand. RC: (corrects) Castle. HL: Oh, Captain Castle. I bet you’re showing this little lady the ropes, huh? Breaking her in, huh? KB glares at RC. RC: Well, actually, um … HL: I mean, have you ever seen a cop with an ass that fine? If this is women’s lib, I’m all for it. KB: Excuse me? RC: To be fair, you do have a very fine … (off her look) never mind.

So humorous I love this man I love everything (but how does he look in the mirror w/o freaking out? it's like 50 first dates) Big bro LOOOVED the house & colours & wallpaper & stuff.

I love Harold & BECKETT SHUT UP YOU NEED TO MEET HIM ON HIS LEVEL. I know ppl who had to chase away spoon-wielding monsters every night for dementia patients, you do it & move on. It's ok.

No body no talkie. he IS delusional! "cupcake"

clipping clipping clipping I love I love I love snookie & ray the red car the absolute mess esposito pulling over ryan (giffing that) it's just... so good I'm insane

YOU MADE A CAST OF THE BODY!? Lanie just there like "what are you talking about?" unless caslte already asked her if she had any bodies to spare offscreen. LP: I’ve seen them do more with a lot less. But I don’t want to be a part of some crazy plan – RC: You have to. Because for this to work, this place has to look like the 70s. (he looks LANIE up and down) And so do you.

I love how the wife is there & he's smoking with the oxygen & I love this. Carcano: What, I’m going to bury a body in my own backyard? Plus, if I had someone disappear they’d stay that way. MC: If you boys have any more questions you can talk to my attorney. (he moves to leave) You know, after this long the truth is hard to find. If I was you I’d quit looking for it. Sometimes what’s in the past should stay there. (THIS MAN IS TELLING THEM TO STOP LOOKING. REMEMBER WHO HE IS: HEAD OF THE FAMILY, HE WAS TRYING TO MERGE FAMILIES WITH BIANCHI.)

OH SHE IS HOT Oh LANIE IS HOT TOO. (clipping) What if he touches him?

No wallet on him? or gun?

My poor harold. Hit you he's really gone? so will you come to the 2010a now? HOLY CRAP THAT'S-- STUFF IS HAPPENING. (castle flailing when the body hand was there lol. also how does that offer ANY protection from the gun?)

JE: *walks in* So I've got-- WOAH. *seeing Lanie* LP: Not a word KR: *talking abt the case* Right Javi? JE: I'm sorry what? *was staring at lanie* LP: !! *rolls eyes* & then that last little "nice dress" to her lil bro said not to clip but OOF I kind of wish I did

Tory my beloved.

Hm, ryan's pants don't match his jacket...

RC: It won’t burst his bubble... if it...looks like the 70s. Ooh she's ranking officer rn lol. WAIT CASTLE ALREADY OPENED A COSTUME ACCOUNT BEFORE ASKING BECKETT IF HE COULD DO THIS?

"let him dig on this 70s vibe" love the music coming in there the morgue was only one room? what about the drive there or the walk into the morgue? HIS MOTHER!!!??? A little bit, yes. YEAH FOR OUR WEDDING! RC: Let’s face it. We cannot let that woman anywhere near our wedding. But … she will love this. And then we get to solve the greatest mystery of the disco era. Besides the popularity of disco itself. It’s a win-win.

his little groove back Abysmal talent pool? Martha my beloved. Rick & his mom are like beckett & castle. Beckett: castle no. Castle: castle yes. Rick: mom no. Martha: YES YES OVER THE TOP YES!

Oh & the music! & I watched an abba parody production the other day before I watched this too.

LMGDAO A HIPPIE WOULD NOT BE HERE WITH THE COPS. Ooh it's a chalkboard! (So they made the photos black & white but... didn't remove them?)

Oh no snookie & ray Martha <3 ALEXIS (wearing that /gen tho)

Why would they need scripts? if they were pretending to be snookie & ray for real they'd need the mannerisms & backstory down, but ryan & esposito have interviewed ppl before. "super groovy" *ryan couching at the cigarette* Esposito frozen with his hands up p& ryan comes in to save him Righteous is in this context, not nec 80s, besides the 70s were from like 74 to 84 yk?

jive turkey again "my god who wrote this?" I love/hate the feathered chief in there

Glitterati? Do they have pagers? REACH BEHIND YOU & TURN OFF YOUR PHONE RLY QUICK, SAY IT WAS AN ALARM CLOCK IN THE OTHER ROOM. the deets? the details?

KR: Actually, it’s been though a lot of different incarnations, but guess what? It’s back to being a 70s club again! Me: WHAT LUCK

I like his nod. "take him to glitterati-- go! go!" *gates*

RC: Captain Gates! I thought you were at a terrorism seminar? VG: It was canceled due to a bomb threat. & did he? Yes! He did! Ryan & Esposito are taking him there now!

Girl your apb thing was not FROM this charade tho "especially you" CASTLE NO DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT THEY TOOK HIM TO A DISCO!

Love the car, love the raming, love the fall, love how esposito was the one who talked ryan into this but now ryan is the one who likes it

Love the dancing & the lights & the fun & the everything! HL: *dancing really well, having fun* Dancing fellow: *also having fun dancing "with" him* HL: Hey, baby. How’re you doing, hon? That’s a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it? (kind of good, all compliments, but wow v forward.)

Yay beckett is normal now. *castle on his phone* they would SO not get his that easy with the gun & stuff. *castle banging on the door*

Always wearing the same suit, it's his club outfit! does frank STILL own it?

*esposito dancing on the clock* he does still own it. maybe that's how it connects to the murder.

HL: Oh no sweat. *SMASH* (not clipping)

I like how he doesn't want to say the year. Also he KNOWS it is not '78 but he might not know the REAL year. "It is whatever year I need it to be" that was a GOOD answer!

"The private event was frank killing him" You figured it out from the time that you got shot at.

rysposito normal looking now "we DO think you killed him?"

Last dance was on the turntable <3 <3

"someone special" we KNOW who that someone special is babes. *lunchbag of evidence*

I think I assumed he stole evidence. Ah the 70s. Gay lovers in the mob in the 70s & this is beautiful. I mean the trauma of killing someone it could totally make you think it's '78 forever. I mean, Harold was also flirting with every woman around. (Maybe that was their thing. You can sleep with any woman, but you only LOVE me) Beard, lavender marriage, his number two...

REMEMBER THE MERGER? MICHAEL CARCANO! He kept it a secret from you that you were going to propose?

for a sec I thought becks was pantsless but it was just a light brown colour.

RC: You couldn’t handle the rejection. So as he left you shot him in the back, then again in the face. You know, because it was personal. Where did she get the gun tho?

It would NOT have stayed that way, these cops would have still solved it.

CASTLE BRINGING HIM OUT TO THE CLUB

YES YES YES THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE she CAN'T disco dance tho. Yay martha & alexis! RC: I’m just glad it covers more this time. Ryan & esposito chilling having fun I love it. (Tho if esposito was born in the 70s he might remember like,, kindergarten outfits. I only remember a few that are attatched to specific memories, like that striped early 00s (or really early 2010s except it was probably a handmedown) shirt I wore during geology in elementary. Lanie is back! & her hair is normal *ryan dancing* Gates I love her I love her (reminds me of that one fic I read, it was good, I want to dance with YOU, not any of these other people who might be prettier than you, because I want you.)

Harold my beloved <3 Last Dance is def going on my playlist.

ldjsklsdfkfjsdkljf GREAT EPISODE PEOPLE

[noxtivagus]

i have the urge to ramble n write about my wol

[jonathanssweatercollection]

i would Love to hear ur ten hour speech ab joyce byers :3 if willing

ooooooooooooghh she drives me nuts. she really does. the way she’s been sidelined since s3 in favour of the duffers making her hopper’s sidekick is Maddening. the way she barely gets to have a scene with any of her kids anymore. the way she never got to properly deal with overcoming lonnie’s toxic and abusive influence in her household (the same goes for both byers boys too). the way that her and the byers’ finances and poverty (which was a central staple/theme of their dynamic for years) has been handwaved and she was given a ‘sells random shit over the phone’ job (ik it’s like an actual career or whatever but i also can’t think of the actual name lol) and she and the family was randomly relocated by owens. with WHAT finances with THEIR REGULAR NAMES with NO security. s4 i am beating you to death. the way she has never been allowed to have actual friends outside of hopper and murray (one doesn’t count bc he’s her love interest) and they totally dropped any relationship she had with karen. the way the other characters in the show STILL don’t believe in her, her methods, her sense, her theories — which are LITERALLY ALWAYS CORRECT. sick i’m sickened i love this woman so much she deserves so much better oh my fucking god i’m peeling the yellow fucking wallpaper and eating it raw

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like, 

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now 

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO 

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

OH

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team 

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room 

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

hm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa  and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

oh

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

[siphonophoresupernumerary]

You reblogged the discuss the blue curtains I beg of you post again, this ask is your excuse to go off on any blue curtains you're thinking of rn bc I'm curious

Why thank you! I was going to put this off because A) tis the season and I'm busy and B) I don't remember any blue curtains to discuss, but! I'm between things and I've remembered something I've wanted to discuss for a while, but since no one has seen it I just kinda was quiet about it.

So Swiss Army man is a movie that I saw a couple years ago, and maybe 5+ years after it came out. It might have been during quarantine? I was watching a lot of movies instead of sleeping back then. Anyway. Theres basically only two actors in it: Paul Dano(of batman/riddler fame) and Daniel Radcliffe(Harry Potter and then just a string of weird films)

Swiss Army man opens with a man(Paul Dano/Hank) on a tiny island trying to hang himself, he is alone, we never find out how he got there. His attempt on his own life get interrupted when someone washes up on the beach. A corpse(Daniel Radcliffe).

The corpse is the Swiss Army Man. His farts can propel his body like a jet ski in the water, infinite clean water spills from his mouth when his arm is pumped, his throat can be used as a mortar to launch objects of any kind, his erections always point north.

And he isn't quite dead. The body (Hank names him Manny), can only barely speak, cannot move his body consciously, and knows just about nothing at all. Hank tries to help him remember, but only a little bit ever comes from Manny, maybe even nothing, everything supplied by Hank's own mind

Hank and Manny find their way to the mainland, still far from civilization, but they have to work together, and they spend a lot of time talking. Since Manny doesn't actually know anything, Hank supplies some backstory to Manny, a girl he loved (her image is on Hank's phone), an enjoyment of Jurassic Park.

"Hank leads Manny to believe that Manny is in love with a woman named Sarah, who rides the bus alone every day. Manny falls in love with Sarah, and it is this love that motivates him to try to find civilization with Hank. In reality, Hank is very much in love with Sarah, having seen her riding the bus every day but never talking to her due to his own shyness. He has a photo of her that he took secretly while on the bus set as the wallpaper on his phone..." -wikipedia

They build a set, the bus, people on the bus, recreating the moment, Manny playing Hank, Hank playing the Sarah.

They kiss.

Shortly after there is a fight between them as Manny finds out that Hank never actually talked to her, and he wishes to be fully dead again. They make up after being attacked by a bear, Manny finally gaining bodily movement. Manny carries Hank's unconscious body to Sarah's house, Hank waking as they get close and enter her back yard. Her daughter finds them, and Manny tries to show her some of his powers, Hank stopping him, the police get called, Manny becomes an inanimate corpse again.

Theres more after this, but heres the thing. the movie is about self-restraint, shame, and social norms. Manny doesn't like that Hank hides parts of himself from him, is distressed when things that his body does freak out Hank. He is a corpse, an entity without a life, and Hank is alive, and has wasted his pining for someone and never acting on it.

Manny's powers and animacy only work when Hank believes in him, when Hank isn't hiding himself/things from Manny. Manny is finally able to move his limbs when Hank has told him everything. When Hank is embarrassed for him he stops functioning altogether.

I live a lot of my life inside of boxes, my head, my phone, my computer, and keep as much as I can from leaking out for others to see. Partly because of this movie I have tried to do that a bit less, be my true self more often, not just palatable versions of me

[sakuatsutingz]

Sorry for being specific but Can I request Atsumu and Kageyama with a fem!crush who is the top female highschool volleyball player and is the only female invited to the National youth training camp and basically they were paired together for training or something? Thank youuuuuu 💞

hand in marriage anon ?? also the trainings mentioned below were from my own experience in vb training camp !! enjoy bbies <3 aLSO ATSUMUS PART GOT SELF INDULGENT SORRY YALL - jamie

atsumu & kageyama with a crush who was invited to the youth training camp

masterlist here request or talk to us here

atsumu

before we start can we appreciate the photo of tsumu like bc THATS MY MAN -jamie

you were a second year volleyball player in itachiyamas girl vbc

and it just so happened you were the top highschool female ace and server in all of japan !!

but atsumu’s never heard of u because he was too focused on his own competitors

and so when you walked through the doors of the gym, he was confused

everyone was confused

why is a female here ?? in a training outfit ?? 

answer was the female’s youth training camp was canceled due to the lack of eligible female players

and it just so happened you were the only one eligible for a youth training camp so you were redirected to the male’s youth camp

and thus u were the only female invited to the camp

searches how to be a y/n ...

let’s just say you were friends with sakusa and komori and they were the only ones in the camp informed of you being a part of it

and when you entered komori jogged up to you with a wave and greets u !! <3

“hello everyone !! im l/n y/n, i look forward to training with you all !!” “wAHH A GIRL IS WITH US ??” “WE GOTTA IMPRESS HER GUYS HOLD UP”

when atsumu saw u something inside him just felt good ??

like why does he suddenly feel like the world got just a bit brighter whenever he sees you

inwardly panics in jealousy when he sees u with sakusa and komori during lunch

he assumes you must be rlly good in vball because how else would one girl out of all be invited to a national camp meant for boys ??

the first time you guys talked was basically in a practice match

you were the temporary captain of your team and he was the temporary captain of the other team

before the match started you both shook hands like the good captains u both are lowkey wheezing abt how that was a fat lie

“let’s have a good match now, miya !” “u-uh, yeah- same for yer’ team.”

he wasnt his usually flirty self around you BYEHAHHABDBF

he was trying his hardest to actually look smooth and talk to you 

but he fails 99% of the time and his crush for you just grows even more

but on the last day of training, the serving practices basically required a partner on the opposite side of the net

your mental list of desired partners slowly narrowed as they all got their own parters, leaving atsumu for you to ask

when you went up to him with a smile he short circuited

pls help him he’s malfunctioning

“oi, miya, do you wanna be my partner ?” “yeah, yeah.”

DONT BE FOOLED BY HIS OUTER SELF HES LITERALLY DYING INSIDE

as the practices started he didn’t know what this boy has gotten himself into

atsumu is the top male highschool server

and he just so didn’t know his own partner was also the top female highschool server so it turned into a competition REAL QUICK

god damn this boy needs to read the volleyball magazines more ..

“hA YOU WERENT ABLE TO RECEIVE THAT BEAT THAT LOSER” “iTS JUST A FLUKE ILL BEAT’CHA JUST YA WAIT”

you guys turned into best friends real quick bye

sorry not sorry komori

after a long day, you were already in the bus station abt to go home

it was basically atsumu’s last chance to actually talk to you before he has only luck to see you again

so he went up to you in the bus stop like the smooth boy he is

spoiler, he wasnt. he looked real awkward tryna sit next to you

you were just scrolling on your phone until he asked u out which made u choke on AIR

like dude r u fr ??

“so um, y/n.” “yeah ?” “go out with me.”

he’s literally a blushing mess good bye

you smile bc u were literally hoping he would ask u out before u went home

you kiss him on the cheek and say yes <33

HOW TO GET AN ATSUMU MIYA IN YOUR LIFE ??????? THIS IS FUCKINMG UNFAIR

a bonus “why do you have l/n as your phone wallpaper, ‘tsumu ??” “SHUT UP ‘SAMU”

kageyama

okay so youre a first year and still the top ace and server in highschool ykyk

but this time you were on shiratorizawa’s girl vbc !!

you got invited to the camp cause they needed another person for an even number but couldn't find a male

so you got invited

kageyama would probably know who you are already

he’s been to one of your games in the nationals and that’s where his crush started <33

like he seemed to pay much more attention when it was your turn to serve !!

he wasn’t exactly oblivious about his own crush on you but he is definitely confused on why does he look at you like you’re the only player on court

it was kinda obvious so when hinata pointed it out to him it just clicked

oh shit ,, he does have a crush on y/n l/n

literally panics on what to do with it but honestly he doesn’t see you much unless you guys are on the same court

which is exactly what happened in the national youth training camp because you guys are ON THE SAME COURT

he got really flustered about it, thinking that he was to spend the next few days with you

when you get partnered together he got very quiet at first

ya'll got partnered because kageyama didn't want to ask anyone so the coaches put you together

"why did it have to be her?" "she's going to find out ,,"

very shy around you at first

but eventually once you two get comfy he becomes more like his usual self

he's a lot more caring and observant when it comes to you

i mean a lot

he would offer you to join his table during lunch

your both very good servers, so you help each other practice serves

you would need to be the one to ask him out

probably would be second to last day of camp or the last day

"hey kags? would you wanna meet up after the camp ends? like a date or something."

boy would malfunction right then and there

it would take him a moment, but would eventually accept <33

doesnt talk about it when he gets back to karasuno

but the others on the team can just s e e somethings different

he seemed happier and more motivated then usual

we all know hinatas gonna spill about his crush on u tho just saying

cause u both made a promise to see each other at nationals finals !!

and he wanted to keep that promise <33

a bonus “kageyama-kun, was that l/n from shiratorizawa you were talking to ?” “wAIT WHAT I DONT KNOW HER UM” “but you even hugged her ..”

[blaithnne]

Lauren Master Post

EDIT - this post has now reached the 100 links limit so I can’t update it anymore 😭 I will be creating an off site link portal at some point, but for now this list is incomple, still - enjoy what’s here!

Hello! So realised that if anyone wanted to learn about Lauren then they had to venture out on a scavenger hunt across my blog - so I made a Masterpost! This contains every single Lauren Post I’ve ever made, each sorted into their own categories! This post will be continuously updated as more content is made, so if you are viewing this on a reblog please check the original post to ensure it hasn’t been updated since that person reblogged it!

Some basic context, for anyone who’s completely new - Lauren is a Hilda OC of mine, she is Hilda’s older sister who ran away from home at the age of 13. Not all information about her has been ‘released’ yet, but I have plans for the future :)

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Canon

Everything in this section is 100% canon information, generally being at least somewhat important to her character and story

Updated Reference Sheet

Cream Design

Cream Naming

Jason Origin Post

Lauren Smokes

Bi Lauren

Lauren’s Time Away Info

Ages

Birth!

Lauren loves plants, amongst other hobbies

Pianist Lauren + What she wants most

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AU

Self Explanatory :)

Runaway Hilda*

Miraculous

Miraculous 2

Mumswap*

Mumswap Ref

More Mumswap

Harry Potter

My Little Pony

Sketchbook Fake Dating AU

*The Runaway Hilda AU is owned by the lovley @cinnamon-sparrow-scout!

*The Mumswap AU is owned by the wonderful @calebs-hangout-corner!

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Misc

Contains Asks, Shitposts, and Vaguely Canon Content. Posts being here doesn’t mean they aren’t canon, but they may be subject to change

Original Lauren Post/Reference

Jason and Lauren

Hilda and Lauren (Martial Arts)

April Fools 2020

Lauren Joins The God Damn Mafia??

Incorrect Quotes Generator

Poly Mum Content

Sadie Being An Accidental Genius

Hilda and Lauren 2

Lauren Breaks The Timeline lol

Misc Fact

Amogus

Name Origin and Fears

Safest Place

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Misc Art

I draw Lauren a LOT - so here’s all my drawings of her, in order of their creation

Outfit Meme

👉👈 🥺

Just Go To Bed

Mirror Selfie

Jason and Lauren Meet

Little and Broken

Self Confidence!

Title Card

Painting

Woah

Frank

Brainrot

Lauren With Her Hair Down

Traditional Sketches

Lauren Listens To Tøp lol

Lauren is Currently Listening To Tøp

Smoking Sketch

Reaction Image - Free To Use!

Happy Father’s Day?

Lesbian Lauren (no longer canon)

Premiering Never

Librarian Lauren

Outfit Meme 2, Suit Edition

She’s Just Sitting There

Wear Heelies To Escape Your Feelies

Catgirl Lauren Lmao

Like a Fun Alt Outfit Thing

Lauren But In MY CLOTHES!!

Freedom

Good Hair

Misc Sketches

She’s a deer now lol

Lauren vs An Ostrich

Phone Wallpaper

Mario?!

Tag ya spoilers

Happy One Year!

Moss Tik Tok (vids will get their own category if I make more :))

Lauren and Baba

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Concept Art

Not all of these concepts are true to the final designs, but some of them are!

Older Lauren

How The Hell Does Lauren’s Hair Work

Kid Lauren

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Screenshot Edits

Self Explanatory :)

Edit 1

Edit 2

Edit 3

Edit 4

Edit 5

Edit 6

Edit 7 (The Tide Mice!)

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Fan(?) stuff!

I feel weird calling this ‘fan’ stuff but I literally don’t know what else to call it lol. Anyways - this section contains content not made by me! I absolutely adore everything here and I’m so grateful that people like Lauren enough to make their own content for her!! I included everything here, from finished artworks, doodles, and a few incorrect quotes - bc I cry tears of joy whenever anyone makes anything abt her LMAO

Incorrect Quote 1

Incorrect Quote 2

I Think This Was The First Lauren Drawing Not Done By Me 😭😭

MERMAID LAUREN

B e h o l d

Beautiful Full Body Piece!

The Greatest Animatic Of All Time

Beautiful Drawing of Lauren and Hope!

TEAM BIG SISTER

Adorable sketch

Cool As Hell Mario Kart Chase

More Mario Kart >:)

Pokémon!

Insanely Cool Anime Esque Screenshot Art!

Incorrect Quote 3

Incorrect Quote 4

[luvteez]

bassists do it deeper

pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k

note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 

A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)

That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.

You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.

“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”

“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”

“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”

“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”

Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”

And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.

“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”

The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”

You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)

The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”

You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.

“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.

“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”

“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.

“Talent. Believe it or not.”

“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.

Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”

“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.

“Listen up, you piec—“ 

“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.

“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.

“I’m not that short—!”

“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”

World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.

“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.

Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”

A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.

“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.

Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”

And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.

“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.

Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.

When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.

That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.

But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.

As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:

Yunho is good.

While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.

He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?

Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.

It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.

You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.

exhibitionism

getting off in public

best crowded places to have sex and get away with it

You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.

When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.

Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.

You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.

This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.

To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.

This is absolutely bonkers. But:

You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.

Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.

Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.

“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.

San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”

“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”

“A cricket? Are you serious?”

“I’m tired, okay!”

“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”

“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”

“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”

In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).

Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.

“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.

“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”

“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”

His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”

There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.

You can’t, but your proof will do the job.

“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”

Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.

Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.

“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.

You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.

“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.

“As long as nobody notices—”

“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”

“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.

“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”

“Just get to it.”

The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”

Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.

“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”

“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”

“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”

That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.

“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“You could never, sub.”

Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.

Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.

“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.

Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 

When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.

“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.

“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.

“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.

“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”

You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.

Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.

“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.

You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.

“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”

“So you have a size kink.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”

“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.

He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.

“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”

The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.

“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.

“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”

“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”

You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.

“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.

“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.

If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.

You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:

“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”

“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”

He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.

“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”

You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.

The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.

“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.

“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”

“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.

It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.

“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”

“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”

Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?

“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.

Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.

“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.

Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.

“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”

Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.

It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.

As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.

You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”

“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”

He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”

“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.

“He’ll still kill you.”

“I appreciate the concern, honey.”

“Just scram back to practice.”

“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”

“I can do it myself.”

“Oh really?”

“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”

Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.

“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.

Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”

“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

highlights:

the [preview] for next month’s patreon phone wallpaper is up!

the patreon drawing for [matt] is up as well!

my wife went to the emergency room Again but she’s okay!

our other partner came to visit and it was nice!

below the cut for length as always.

on [the last roundup]:

@northeasternwind said: IT ABSOLUTELY IS someone said glasses are a disability aid and that knowledge slapped me in the face with a fish and now i'm like bro air conditioning is ESSENTIAL FOR SURVIVAL

it really is! even if you’re not in a position where interior temperatures are to the point where they’d be dangerous or unhealthy for anyone, there are a lot of chronic conditions that are very temperature sensitive! but a lot of the time no one really thinks about that if they don’t have or care a lot about someone who has a condition like that, so it always makes me happy when people don’t have to learn it the hard way :’)

on [dirt nap]:

@inexplicably-spookified said: something about the brown font and dirt tracks in an otherwise pure white environment really sends this for me, i love it

I feel like someone probably said once that rather than relying on the unexpected, humor can be made from contrast. I think they were looking at the joke structure of 4koma vs american newspaper comics? but anyway the dirt on a white background makes it contrast I guess lol

on [weather]:

@slimey-boo said: oh shoot! I didn't know you were from so cal too :D weather here has been wack lately

I’m not from here, but I do live here for now! I very much enjoyed the brief visit from the rain, especially since it seems to have wiped away what was hopefully the last heat wave of the year with it. (it’s not my first time living in a desert though!)

@macro-microcosm said: i bet his predictions are correct every time

do you think he had to pick that power up somewhere, or is it just an innate part of his innocent omnipotence?

@ceylonsilvergirl said: he’s ecstatic because it never rains there. he knows that socal feel, get a teaspoon of rain and it’s time to party!! downside is nobody knows how to drive

lol my wife rode her motorcycle one of the days it was raining, we moved here from the western pnw where it’s very wet all the time (cuz the mountains haven’t wrung out the ocean clouds yet) and her main complaint was just that she hadn’t been putting water repellent on her helmet visor so she couldn’t see as well.

on [lake]:

@hobgirl said: thats sick as hell. i still remember when i was in a weelchair for a couple of months and everything was made needlessly difficult. like. not just the stuff u usually think about. i went to my at the time favorite bookstore and its got kind of a messy vibe with stacks of books on the floor, well guess who couldnt go anywhere bc those stacks blocked the way! so i had to ask the staff to move them for me. and just other places like. people will NOT move aside for you if you ask them so you can pass. id be like excuse me and theyd look at me and look away and keep standing there, and me being the bitch i am but even worse cause i was 16 would just run into them. which on the one hand was very funny bc id get to see them sturggle with wanting to be mad but not wanting to look like an asshole towards a child in a weelchair, but on the otherhand annoyed the fuck outta me. cause you wouldnt have to get made IF YOU JUST MOVED ASIDE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! anyway. did not mean for all that to come out in the tags here! im happy! im happy about the accessibility!!!!

lol I totally get it, every time I go to a store in my wheelchair I have to do constant mental calculations to figure out if I can fit around random displays or restock boxes or clothing racks or the like (and sometimes I just say fuck it and jam myself through anyway, surprise ada compliance test). people on the sidewalk usually move if I call out to them though, since I don’t act like I’m gonna stop for their sake XD it can be so inconvenient though!

on [melting]:

@hobgirl said: kirby the gorb that sucks to hear! but youve always been very nice to me in response to my bummer tags so its MY TURN! ...i say this but im very bad at comforting people. ummmm focus on the positive parts! you mentioned some good things that happened that will also make everything else easier to deal with so focus on that! and otherwise we should team up and fistfight god idk

thank you <3 god better be ready to square tf up when I die.

@chaosinanutshell said: oh noes :(( hope ur wife stays better. that kirby is literally me when my classmates ditch me while we need to answer shiz. *sighs* guess I'll do it myself

ugh, that’s so frustrating. if it’s a repeat problem, it may be worth mentioning to the teacher, since it’s not fair to you and it’s not teaching them anything. (and she’s still doing mostly okay so far!)

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: I hear you deflating Kirby, I’m tired too

everything happens so much.

on [sliding]:

@ceylonsilvergirl​ said: this is what happens when Kirby eats a cow, gains cowboy powers. he can lasso with the best of them. I’d like to think he’d be able to play guitar like a classic 40’s cowboy. must be difficult without fingers tho, him and the powerpuff girls have the same manicurist

he kinda works on cartoon logic, so he may be able to just ooze out some fingers when he needs them. but is he limited to cartoon/human numbers of fingers, or can he have as many as he wants? and without the bones are they extra dexterous, or just kind of floppy?

on [pout]:

@ceylonsilvergirl said: It’s ok Kirby. It’ll be ok.

everything will be okay eventually, even if you need some time to sulk first in order to get there.

@chaosinanutshell said: me when chem, hate that subject cuz it hurts bren 😔 also me when math :'>

both subjects that tend to have a lot of pesky numbers to keep track of -n- (I actually kinda liked chem, but I don’t think I remember any of it lol)

on [dissociation]:

@dragonatioor said: ough!!!! Yeah that stuff sometimes help bring y’back

personally I’m partial to a big fluffy blanket, although that’s more about making it cozysafe enough to “come back” rather than actually grounding in and of itself.

@ceylonsilvergirl [added] a bunch of other rhyming variations of “dissociation with [x]” which is extremely funny and good and even cheered me up a little XD I think stats is my favorite.

from the ask box:

anonymous said: Hey! That robot is the Heavy Lobster! It's a mech boss you fight in Kirby Super Star during the Revenge of Meta Knight subgame. I'm a huge fan of it, thought I'd let you know!

thank you! I must have seen it before then, I’m pretty sure I’ve played that one but I can’t remember. I’ve gone back and labeled it :>

anonymous said: hi! i think the translation for the last post you reblogged is something along the lines of: *bright light* it's hot isn't it?... while stretching out a parasol let's get through(survive) the humidity!! hope that helped <3

that is helpful, thank you! I’ve added the translation to the tags for anyone else who wanted to know. very helpful anons this week :’)

[lassieposting]

skulduggery/alt!serpine for the getting together ask game?

I’m bored, so. Send me two (or more) characters for a headcanon on how I’d have them get together

OHOHOHOHO SEE THIS IS A GOOD ONE BC

ive already been thinking about this and im. Lowkey really glad im not the only one

See I always hated skug with any serpine, like I was a passionate anti from 2007 - about three months ago but. I enjoyed their dynamic in phase one and then i read like three of their interactions from sow and got converted or some shit apparently idfk, anyway u know i love an angsty ship

this got really long so tldr; enemies to vitriolic hate-sex buddies to lovers, painfully slow burn, but they'll both die claiming they still hate each other

It begins with China.

She orders him to kill Serpine, and he refuses. He's not even 100% sure why when he does. It's not like they're friends. He's killed people he liked a good deal more than Nefarian Serpine under orders.

But she says, "kill him" and he says, "no", and then things spiral so quickly that it's actually a few days before he even has time to think about her parting shot, flung at him as he walked out on her: "if you want to keep him, you'll be the one looking after him. He's your responsibility, not mine. And if he hurts someone, you -"

He'd shut the door on her at that point, but he knows what she was going to say. You look after him yourself, you train him yourself, and if he hurts someone, you kill him yourself. A wonderfully old-world way of looking at things. He's fairly sure he remembers getting the same speech from the housekeeper when he tried to bring home the ugliest feral tomcat he'd ever seen as a small boy.

(This will come back to bite him. He's not sure how or when, but it will. That's the way of things, whenever he turns his back on China Sorrows. Her last parting shot - a classic "you'll regret this" - ended up getting him killed.)

But then there's Mevolent, and cleaning up a city in the aftermath of its latest Traumatic Event, and putting a size 10 to the backsides of the City Guard, so his priorities get reshuffled somewhat, and it's almost a week later that he thinks to ask, "Heard from Serpine lately? He's being oddly quiet."

Valkyrie blinks at him from the passenger seat. Her fingertips tap tap tap at the touchscreen. She's messaging someone. He doesn't know who. "He's...around."

"Why the pause?"

"Hm?"

"You paused," he points out, switching lanes to get around a hatchback dawdling along at 60. "He's...around. You're trying to hide something from me. I'm aware you still talk to him, you know."

She doesn't deny it. He's gotten used to that, in the last few years. She doesn't tell him things anymore. It's that distance, the distance he can try to banter over but never truly remove. She's a lot further away than his passenger seat. "He's been looking for somewhere to live, like. Now that he's here for good. So, you know. That's probably keeping him busy."

Nefarian Serpine is living out of a stuffy first-floor rented room above, of all things, Vaurien Scapegrace's pub.

He knows this not because China was having Serpine followed (although she was) or because plenty of old faces from the Sanctuary still owe him favours (although they do), but because he receives a text from Scapegrace at a quarter to midnight, in the middle of a grisly murder scene.

have u beaten anyone up lately? do u want to? think thrasher just rented one of our rooms to a war criminal

He taps out a response, half-focused on the screen and half on Valkyrie examining the photos on the dead man's mantelpiece. She looks like she's just figured something out.

Which one? Thrasher, or the other guy?

By the time he's dropped her home, said hello to the furball and returned to the city, morning is bleeding into the sky. He knocks sharply on Nefarian Serpine's peeling rented door, and then again when there's no response.

From inside, a thud.

Then another, followed by some deeply impolite language, and then the door jerks open. Serpine, wearing an impressive bedhead, a scraggly attempt at a beard and a pair of patterned socks with a hole in the toe, squints out into the hall and snaps, "D'you have ANY IDEA what time it is? This place is supposed to - ah, shite. It's you."

"It is," he agrees.

Serpine gives him a sulky jerk of the head - an invitation - and vanishes back inside. He follows, closing the door gently behind him. Inside the room is dark and depressing and smells faintly of mildew and sweat. There are clothes on the floor.

He pulls the curtains open and looks out the window, giving Serpine some privacy to get dressed.

"Found me at last, have you?" Serpine asks from over by the bed. There's a rustle of fabric and the sound of a belt being done up. "What do you want? Come to take my other hand?"

That's it. That's what's different. "Other? You don't seem to be missing any at present, Nefarian. Valkyrie's work, I take it."

Serpine sits down on the bed with a squeak of springs, and when Skulduggery turns to face him, he's smirking and, thankfully, wearing trousers. "Ever so nice of her, wasn't it? Doesn't work like the old one, though. You know. The one I used on you."

He sighs. "And here I thought this last week would've given you time to come up with some new material."

Serpine shrugs and spends a moment picking out a pair of shirts from the wardrobe beside the bed. If it's a test, it's a painfully obvious one. Almost an invitation. Go ahead, shoot me.

No, this is something Skulduggery knows far more intimately. A display of brittle confidence in the face of a threat. I'm not afraid of you. Do your worst.

Serpine is afraid of him. Afraid of being arrested, maybe, or killed, or worse. He'd have relished that fear, once. Delighted in flipping the tables.

He leans back against the desk, ankles crossed and arms folded. After a moment, Serpine turns around with a shirt on a hanger in each hand. He holds them up for an opinion.

Skulduggery points wordlessly at the green one, and the blue goes back in the closet. "If you're not here to kill me, what do you want?"

While Serpine is doing up his buttons, Skulduggery retrieves the folded sheaf of paper from the inside pocket of his long coat, and holds it up. "I came to drop these off."

Serpine's vibrant eyes narrow. "What is that? An arrest warrant?"

"A list of landlords in Roarhaven willing to rent to refugees. Valkyrie mentioned you were looking."

Serpine blinks at him. Skulduggery doesn't often bother with the facade in Roarhaven, but if he had a face right now, he'd be blinking back. It's a weirdly awkward moment.

"...thanks," Serpine says after a moment, tentatively reaching for the papers; Skulduggery leans forward to pass them over. "That'd be...helpful."

He sounds very uncomfortable saying those words. When Skulduggery responds, "You're welcome," he feels much the same.

Serpine unfolds the papers and skims them. Three pages of property listings. Tipstaff had printed them off for him with only a raised eyebrow and a, "Never thought you'd move out of Dublin, Detective."

"What brought this on?"

He looks up. "Hm?"

"You show up here at an ungodly hour of the morning, nobody to rein you in, and you're being helpful? I don't buy it. I know China as well as you do. She told you to kill me, didn't she?"

"She did," Skulduggery acknowledges, and a very old, very spiky part of him gets a kick out of watching the blood drain from Serpine's face. "I told her no."

"Bollocks."

"Hard to believe, isn't it? But it's true. Ah, don't look at me like that, Nefarian. It's got nothing to do with you. I was just feeling argumentative that day. And, if nothing else, I can always rely on China to argue with me if I tell her no."

"So -"

"For my sins, she made you my responsibility, see. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you, make sure you don't get up to any of your old tricks. And if you do, then I'll kill you. I'll be checking in on you to make sure you're behaving yourself. Think of me as a...probation officer, of sorts. With benefits."

More blinking. This version of Serpine is not a morning person. He bets his alternate self got to sleep in far later in this Serpine's dungeon. "I'm not seeing any benefits."

"The benefit is I get to kill you if you step out of line. I never said the benefits were for you."

"Are there any benefits in this for me?"

He considers this for a moment. "You get to live. Because of me. I saved your life. "

Serpine's face is emotionless and his voice is flat.

"Oh," he says. "Yippee."

He's interviewing a witness when his phone rings.

He politely excuses himself, and steps out into the hallway to answer it. "Pleasant."

"Hello!" Serpine says brightly, and launches immediately into, "I want a car."

Skulduggery's fake face blinks at the sigil-embossed wallpaper. It takes a second to even register the voice, and another to pick up on -

"How the -? Who gave you this number?"

"Valkyrie." Serpine sounds completely unapologetic. "And you're supposed to be teaching me to drive."

Serpine can't see his head tilt. He does it anyway. "Am I now? And what gave you that idea?"

"I'm your problem now, remember? Besides, you agreed to it," is the smug answer. "Before our little holiday back to my dimension, I said I wanted a better house and a latte and a car. And driving lessons."

"I never agreed to that."

"Well, you didn't say no. That's agreement by default. Sorry."

"Plenty of people can teach you to drive, Nefarian. You could teach yourself, even. Watch a video on Youtube."

"Detective Pleasant, I am shocked," Serpine teases, suddenly dripping with insincere concern. "Think of all those poor defenceless mortals I could run into. There's an advert on the television about how you're specifically not supposed to hit them with cars. It kills them, apparently. How will I cope without you there to make sure I resist temptation?"

Skulduggery grinds his teeth. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Immensely. I'd completely forgotten how much fun it is to have you at my mercy. And you did say you're supposed to keep an eye on me."

Skulduggery goes quiet for a moment, focusing on reining in the urge to hit something. Serpine's face. He wants to hit Serpine's face. With a chair. Trust him to figure out that being Skulduggery's responsibility meant he could go to him for help.

"Fine."

"Excellent! And now you have my number, so you can let me know when you're free."

"Since when do you have a mobile?"

"Since today," Serpine says airily. "Tanith helped me pick one out. I can talk to anyone, anywhere, whenever I like now. Isn't that great? I mean, I only have two numbers, three now that Valkyrie's given me yours, but still. Now I'll always have someone to talk to."

"This is a work line. It is not for social calls."

A passing sorcerer startles a little at his tone, and he gives her an apologetic smile. As an afterthought, he rolls his eyes in a you know how it is gesture. But she's already walking away, so really he just rolls his eyes at her back, which is probably rude of him.

Serpine is still talking. "- can send little moving pictures, and I've downloaded all these little applications, so now I do all sorts of fun things. Do you use...whatsit...Snapchat? I have Snapchat now. And I've got Angry Birds and Candy Crush and Grindr."

And that? That right there? That is more than he ever needed to know about Serpine.

"Goodbye, Nefarian," he says firmly, and hangs up.

He checks in on Serpine once a week, officially. Unofficially, he clocks more hours than he'd like to admit parked in an alley outside Scapegrace's pub, waiting for someone to scream bloody murder. Serpine spots him a couple of times, gives him a jaunty wave with his newly-regrown hand on his way to the off-licence, mocking and unconcerned.

But nobody gets murdered. Serpine seems to be...behaving. For now.

"I've volunteered you for move-in duty," Valkyrie says, apropos of nothing. When he blinks at her, she shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. "Serpine's found a flat. He needs some furniture shifting."

He's not going to throw anything at his partner in this busy mortal cafe. He's not.

"I see. And you thought that has anything to do with me because..."

She polishes off the last dregs of her drink with a slurp. "I can't float stuff up stairs."

The apartment Serpine is moving into is a decent two-bedroom on the fourth floor of a six-floor block in a quiet area with a history of minimal unexpected-demolitions-by-overpowered-supervillain. Skulduggery idly wonders, as he pulls up in the parking area behind the building, whether a mass murderer moving in - and the frequent visits by the other mass murderer charged with keeping an eye on him - will bring down housing prices. China will hate that, when she wakes up.

Serpine is waiting for him out front, surrounded by boxes and furniture, already looking a bit frazzled. His outfit is stylish and his slicked-back hair is sticking up in places where he's been running his hands though it. He startles and looks up at the sound of footsteps, and seems to breathe a sigh of relief. "Ah! You came. Valkyrie said you'd know how to go about getting all this, you know. Up there."

"You can hire people for this, you know," Skulduggery tells him. "Removal men."

"With what money?" Serpine asks, a little helplessly. "Valkyrie gave me some of her old things, but I got most of this from - what's the word? - second hand shops, and the refugee aid centre. I've been looking for work, but...you know." He gestures at his face. "This is my criminal record."

Which...is a fair point, so Skulduggery rolls up his sleeves and moves to one end of a squashed two-seater couch. "Fair enough. Grab the other end."

Serpine's mouth almost drops open. "You want to carry it? Like peasants? I thought you were here to float the damn thing!"

Well, he could. But the world isn't actively ending right now, so he can afford to be petty. "I don't use magic unless I have to, these days. We'll be doing this the old-fashioned way."

"But." The last time he saw someone look this aghast was when Valkyrie realised how the citizens of Roarhaven saw her. "But that's manual labour!"

"A little manual labour will do you good."

"Gods, I hate you," Serpine tells him as he moves to grab the other end of the couch.

Skulduggery turns the facade on specifically to give him a smug smirk. "I know."

By the time they're finishing up the boxes, Serpine's new neighbours have come out into the hall to see what all the banging is about. They seem young, mostly - too young to recognise him from the war. Skulduggery is starting to suspect that Serpine has accidentally moved into student housing, but he keeps his mouth shut. Serpine is being chatty and charming, holding court in the corridor, and Skulduggery mostly lets him get on with it in between trips to the bottom of the stairs to pick up more boxes, until a young woman who holds Serpine's front door open for him and chuckles, "Left you doing all the work, has he? He's a talker, your boyfriend. I bet you don't get a word in edgewise."

It's not often that Skulduggery Pleasant is lost for words. "I. I'm sorry. What?"

Fortunately, Serpine chooses that moment to interrupt the conversation he's having and interject, "Oh, no, darling. We're not together. He's just here to make sure I stay out of trouble."

There's something off about how he says it, though. There must be, because the woman taps her nose like he's just confided a secret, and Skulduggery can't help but feel like he's just been made the butt of a joke he doesn't fully understand.

He checks on Serpine once a week. Occasionally Serpine texts him. A blurry photo, usually paired with a caption like, "what the hell is this?"; a set of traffic lights, or a lollipop man, or a chihuahua in a little jumper. Sometimes he responds, but sometimes he doesn't bother.

It's not like they're friends.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Roarhaven's shopping district is bustling, and Nefarian Serpine is late.

Skulduggery's been people-watching, drumming his fingers on the tabletop, for fifteen minutes when he finally shows up with a to-go coffee cup in one hand and a stack of books under the other arm. He's frowning.

"You're late," says Skulduggery, by way of greeting.

Serpine shrugs, taking the seat opposite. He dumps his books on the round table and gives the menu a cursory glance. "Sorry. I was at the library. Almost missed the bus."

A waitress approaches wearing a shirt stamped with the logo of the little bistro they're sat outside, and while Serpine orders lunch, Skulduggery idly examines the titles stamped along the spines of his book mountain. Some of them look old, leather bound tomes with fancy gold lettering, and the rest seem to be...textbooks, of all things.

"A little light reading, Nefarian?"

"Huh?" Serpine - busy watching the waitress walk back inside - swivels round to face him, and shrugs. "Oh. Yeah. I want to see if they match up with the slanderous shite they're teaching at the university."

"Excuse me?"

Serpine shrugs. "Vapid and Ty - you know Ty, weird hair, lives next door - thought it might help me adapt if I learn more about how your world is different to mine, so. I've been sitting in on some classes. Unofficially. History. Mortal Relations. That kind of thing. You have battles here that never happened back home, you know."

Skulduggery folds his arms across his chest and leans back in his chair, amused despite himself. "Mortal Relations? You're going to Mortal Relations lectures. You."

"Shut up," says Serpine, pointing a finger at him. "You don't get to laugh. You're not the one nobody wants to hire. - because that's still a problem, by the way. Aren't you supposed to be helping me with that?"

"I'm supposed to be making sure you don't kill anyone or make a nuisance of yourself. Sorry to disappoint."

"Would it kill you to write me a character reference?"

Skulduggery coughs conspicuously into his gloved hand with the throat he doesn't have. He picks up the top book from Serpine's stack and flips idly through Religion & Warfare: The Rise Of The Church Of The Faceless In The 15th Century . "Think about that one for a minute, Nefarian, and you'll remember why it's not happening."

"Fine. Be like that." Serpine's shoe nudges his leg under the table. "Here, were you at the Battle of Black Rock?"

He has to think about that one for a second, then hums in the negative. "Hm. No. I missed that one. I think that was when I was holed up in Cork with a broken leg. Why?"

"History 201," Serpine muses. "I tagged along this morning. It was mostly about that fight, but it never happened in my dimension. It was borderline slanderous, honestly. The professor is an imbecile."

"You're dying to vent, aren't you?"

"Would you mind terribly?"

Skulduggery pulls his ornate pocket watch from his waistcoat pocket and checks the time. "You've got fifteen minutes. Better talk fast."

Time goes by.

He checks on Nefarian once a week. They have coffee, sometimes. Valkyrie knows not to cross the line of bringing Serpine to Skulduggery's home, but she adds them both to a group chat and neither one leaves.

Nefarian wrecks his first car, and Skulduggery makes the drive out from Dublin at 5.45am to rescue him. He calls the tow truck while Serpine sits, pale and shaken, in the Bentley's front seat, drenched from the rain and squelching miserably every time he moves.

He apologises for calling so early, and for once he sounds like he means it.

Skulduggery takes him through the McDonalds drive thru to cheer him up, and as Nefarian tucks into a box of fries with gusto, he thinks, oh no.

They're not friends. They're not.

"Is this a date?"

Skulduggery tilts his head, hand stilling over the car keys. "I'm sorry?"

Valkyrie tosses another piece of popcorn into her mouth. She's already in her pyjamas, fluffy ones with dogs on them, and she's flicking through the Netflix queue. "You're all dressed up. Is this a date? Have you two finally gotten over yourselves? God knows it's been long enough."

He snatches up the car keys and sniffs, disdainful. "After all these decades, Valkyrie, if that's what your expert detective skills are telling you, I have failed as a mentor."

"And now you're getting defensive."

"I'm doing no such thing. Where's Tanith, by the way?"

She laughs and does double fingerguns at him. "And that's deflection!"

He sighs - dramatically, for her benefit - and as he checks his pocket watch, she continues, "And, she's on her way. Get out, already. You have a date to keep and we have movies to watch."

"It's not a bloody date," he complains, patting his pockets to make sure he's got everything. "And I originally asked you."

"Yeah, but opera's boring. Here, is he meeting you there or are you picking him up?"

"Goodbye, Valkyrie."

"See?!" She shouts after him as he shuts the front door. "Date!"

[serenedash]

I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.