#this has become a reoccurring theme of our relationship

[queer-hercules]

Am I taken?

Am I single?

Who knows?

My gf (?) hasn’t talked to me in weeks

The daily check ins & calls lasted a few months and we’re back to “is she even alive?” late night thoughts.

[velvet-vox]

The russian worker drones family; murder drone's greatest small scale tragedy.

As long as I can recall there has never been in my mind a story quite as painful and heartbreaking and yet quite as engaging as the tragedy of Doll, Yeva, and her husband, who's lack of a clear name doesn't detract from the impact of this story or the death of the other two.

The last time such an emotional impact was left in my brain was with Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker from Wakfu, who I will assuredly make a comparison post with Doll, as they both hit extremely similar themes and ideas while still having such different execution and story beats that it almost makes you question why would you even compare them in the first place.

Tragedy is deceptively hard to write right and make meaningful, as just crippling your characters won't do, because at that point it just becomes drama porn and as boring as a low effort pre-schoolers program. Seemingly unfeasible in a show such as Murder Drones; an horror/comedy/romance where an abused child repaired and made friends with a robot only for said robot to cause the destruction of her planet and... something else.

Buckle up cause these robots emotions might not even be considered real inside the fictional setting but our pain allows what would otherwise be a pretty standard horror scenario to transcend into the bane of my existence as we take a look at the small, inconsequential tale of the russian worker drones family.

Yeva

Starting off with Yeva as the oldest member of our family in terms of chronological relevance, we get our first peek into the way this story plays out due to Yeva being seemingly mute by choice or programming, which retroactively sets up the storytelling method used; Yeva doesn't speak a single word in this scene or the one that precedes it, but we still get a clear rendition of her character by her standoffish behaviour juxtaposed with her caring and nurturing nature, it's debatable whether or not her and Nori are sisters, but you wouldn't be blamed for thinking that judging by the way Yeva tends to Nori after the banishment of the solver, being chained up and experimented upon didn't stop her from staying positive in the midst of adversity and could theoretically be the reason why she was the only correctly patched drone in the facility.

During the V attack she sacrificed her own life in order to protect Doll. An act that, in the long run, ended up being whortless, but that cemented Yeva has an unyielding positive influence in a world stormed by negativity and death.

The father

We know jack s##t about this man but that won't stop us from analysing him. The most interesting things about him are his relationship with Yeva and the fact that the picture of V seen in episode 2 was made by him. He's, admittedly, a white canvas for head cannons, but thematically he keeps a recurring motif that this post will touch upon in his final entry:

Doll

And now, for the crown jewel of this family. The protagonist's dark reflection. Not many people can claim to have been messed up as hard as Doll was. Sure, death is still death, but with it comes a certain sense of finality and rest. Instead, by contrast Doll's death is so brutal and devastating because although it's something that she has been calling upon herself since she started to consume other drones for her goals, it's just so heartbreaking because she managed to achieve absolutely nothing despite being one step forward everyone else in the story; she never got better, never reademned herself, made their parents sacrifice worthless, died almost entirely off camera completely alone and scared, and as her last compensation act she managed to give Uzi a barely useful warning before having her probably still alive consciousness eaten by an eldritch atrocity. At the end of the day, she was deemed worthless by the main antagonist and quickly brushed aside.

And we go back to a certain reoccurring theme regarding this family: Yeva never speaks. Her husband is never given a name. Doll is literally a toy name. Their story plays out in the shadow of the main plot. Every single aspect regarding them paints their existence as worthless and inconsequential (classic eldritch horror), yet are given enough spotlight to leave an impact on us, to have their presence felt, and to give us the impression that, despite their bad luck, if they only took certain decisions in certain key moments, maybe they would have survived and received a much better ending than the one they got.

Want more?

[thediaryofriversong]

ok ok ok hear me out

this is how Hannigram (Hannibal 2013) is paralleled as Frankenstein and the Creature from Frankenstein (1816). *Spoilers for both*

Frankenstein and references to Frankenstein are made a few times in the show, and there are a lot of parallels and similar themes, such as playing God, creation and destruction, betrayal, revenge, and more.

In my head, for the most part, Will mirrors Frankenstein and Hannibal mirrors the Creature, or "Adam", but I think it also makes a lot of sense the other way around. Frankenstein is entirely human, often unstable, and drowns in his emotions constantly. He feels constant regret, remorse, and hatred for his creation. He set out to create something beautiful, something awe-inspiring, and reality defying from his imagination, but ended up creating, or discovering, a huge darkness both within himself and his creation. This directly parallels Will and Hannibal's relationship, with Will looking for help and stability, and when he opens up, Hannibal helps Will create, or discover, the same darkness within him.

When Frankenstein realizes what he's created, an ugly, horrible thing, he abandons it, betrays it, even though the Creature is vulnerable. He simply can't accept something so disgusting and hideous. He leaves it totally alone because he fears, for his own life and dignity. In Hannibal, when Will discovers what Hannibal is, he betrays him in much the same way. Hannibal lets Will understand him, "see him", and becomes vulnerable with him. But much like Frankenstein, Will simply can't accept what Hannibal is, and turns him into the FBI.

Both Will and Frankenstein come to regret their actions, as the Creature and Hannibal seek revenge. After Frankenstein returns to his life, he finds that the Creature has killed his brother, and indirectly, one of his childhood best friends. Frankenstein is heartbroken, and vows to destroy his Creature, no matter what it takes. Hannibal mirrors this as well, as when Hannibal finds out Will has betrayed him, he kills someone equally important to Will, Abigail, as well as almost killing him. This also builds Will's hatred for Hannibal, and his desire to kill and destroy him.

As both stories progress, Will and Frankenstein look for their monsters, while also moving on with their lives. They both get partners, a wife or fiance, and are almost content with their lives, except for reoccurring thoughts of their monstrous counterparts. In Hannibal and the Creature's plots for revenge, they attempt to kill Will and Frankenstein's partners. The monsters share a common goal of destroying everything in their enemies lives that they care about, whether that be lovers, friends, family, or careers.

However, deep down, the only thing the "monsters" want is to be understood. They both have such a deep understanding of rejection, of betrayal, and of isolation that all they long for is to be fully and completely understood by someone. Their true desires, behind the ruthless violence, is someone who loves them completely, who can ignore their flaws and accept them, even if society can't. For Hannibal, he desires to be loved and accepted by Will, and the Creature wants a "bride", both someone as equally ugly, horrible, and evil as themselves, someone who understands them because they have experienced the same societal rejection as them.

Near the end of both stories, both sets of characters run away together, with Hannibal and Will escaping after the staged jailbreak, and with Frankenstein chasing the Creature to the Arctic. Eventually, Will and Frankenstein accept their fate, that they must die, literally or metaphorically, in order to take down their monsters. They both come to an understanding of their creatures, and even though they despise them, they have to die to take them down, and sacrifice their sanity, family, and everything left of their old lives to prevent any more destruction.

And finally, at the end of these stories, our characters die, metaphorically or literally. Frankenstein dies, with his last wish being to make sure that the Creature dies as well. Soon after, the Creature discovers his death, and upon his realization that he has doomed Frankenstein, he decides to join him in death, fulfilling his final wish. Similarly, in Hannibal, Will realizes that he "can't save himself", and accepts his fate. After their final fight, he decides that the only way Hannibal will go down is with him, so in a final sacrifice, they "die" together, in a final embrace, finally fulfilling his wish to "kill" him.

Of course, this could also work the other way around, because Hannibal "created" Will, much the same as Frankenstein created his monster. There are so many more parallels, and of course, contradictions, but I think these stories are great mirrors of each other. Both are gut-wrenching stories about love, revenge, creation, and death that beautifully display aspects of the human condition, and are very much worth reading or watching.

anyways thank you for listening to my Ted talk :3

[the-ranting-blog-for-izzy]

AIGHT, it's time for another oc rant :]

BackStory: so our story begins with a tween boy by he name of Otis Puzzles. Otis is the older brother of Aurther Puzzles and Lilly Puzzles, now altho Aurther often spent most of his time watching TV in his room that didn't stop Otis from hanging with his little bro! He would often pull Aurther out of his room forcing him to play Crash Bandicoot, Sonic, or Mario Cart (Mr Puzzles didn't realize it at the time but spending time with his big brother was on the healthiest things he has/will EVER done/do in his life) As for Otis's little sister Lilly they would often play outside to get her playing various make believe games with each other. Now the house hold that Otis and his younger siblings will send a very healthy one, there father was abusive towards Otis (verbally) and Aurther (physically), the only one what are the abuse was there sweet little sister Lilly... Altho who in the right mind of hurt such a small child as her? Now the years of constantly having to hear their parents fight mixed with being physically abused by his father (plus another Major League traumatic event of which I'll be explaining in a separate oc rant) eventually led to Aurther cutting off his head and replacing it with a TV~ now nobody had been in the garage for Aurther was doing this (thankfully) but unfortunately for both Aurther and Otis, Otis so happened to walk in only a couple minutes after Aurther cut off his head, no the garage where he was doing this as a really dark so Otis couldn't fully see what it happened you said all he saw slowly rolling toward the light of the door, was this little brother's severed head. This cause Otis to FREAK OUT and run away from home. He ended up running to a dear friends house where he stayed for a month before he worked up enough money from his job at Wendy's to buy his own small house. Now in order to raise that little extra bit of money so he can pay his rent he ended up started creating music, surprisingly enough his music popped off and got incredibly popular slowly leaving after many many years for me coming up popular music star! This leads us to current Otis, the incredibly famous and popular music star who instead of using his riches for himself he uses it on others~

Design details:

One, he's black, this design choices laid on by the fact that child Mr puzzles as we see in the show is a black figure so I was thinking what if I just made them black? So I did :]. 2, this is the add-on to the fact that he is black but I was thinking what if he showed a black light on him would he glow? So I gave him neon clothes so if he ever did have a black light on stage he would physically glow~. 3, now after he ran away from home he ended up becoming resentful toward his father so he changed his last name from being Puzzle to being Star, which is why he has a constant star theme throughout his outfit. 4, the reason there are so many holes in his outfits is it inspired by Michael Jackson and the fact that Michael Jackson got many girls being, how do put this gently..., horny towards the way Michael Jackson moved on stage.... Yea...

Personality: silly, smart, protective, fatherly, calm and collected, crafty (as in art and crafts), inclusive, loving, emotionally capable, capable, and amazing at singing people to sleep.

Relationships:

Smg4: now this is going to be a reoccurring theme but, Otis ended up like basically adopting the entire Smg gang becoming a father figure for almost the entire gang. Now Smg4 and Otis in particular are incredibly close with each other often going out and doing dumb little bother some things like playing baseball or getting ice cream :]

Smg3: now no matter how much love Otis give his he REFUSES to let Otis be his father figure instead often to become incredibly grumpy and moody around Otis (although he refuses to believe it he does generally view Otis as a father figure)

Meggy: same as many others, they both veiw eatch other as father and daughter :]

Boopkins: ⬆️ Dido (fun fact! Otis often like to give Boopkins singing classes to help with his singing skills)

Tari: Tari is that one slightly angsty teen he refuses to go outside, Otis although often forces them outside lafmo

Mario: no the Mario can be quite a handful for Otis, Otis still handles Mario perfectly as a father figure and as a protector towards him, he also keeps Mario out of trouble a lot of the time lafmo

Mr Puzzles: the two are HEAVY RIVALS, Otis hateing Mr Puzzles due to the fact that he kind of imprisoned his "children" and his food like TV worlds and Mr Puzzels haring Otis due to the fact that Otis protects the Smg gang (they're both completely unaware that they are brothers btw)

@strange0-0storm's Smg8: now out of the entire Smg gang Smg8 is the one that Oris views MOST as his child. Otis holds Smg8 VERY dear and close to his heart, he also often ivites Smg8 to make song with him :]

Smg-08: Otis REALLY doesn't like her due to her being a creation of Mr puzzles... But he allows her to stick around to the fact that she seems completely friendly

Extra info:Otis knows and sings in a multitude of languages, he also likes to work with vocaloid such as Hatsnu Miku :]. He is incredibly unselfish and he donates most of his money to the people who work for him or to various other music artists or to various abuse helplines.

Also take this art piece of Smg8 and Otis :3 why dose Smg8 look like a Charlie Brown character tho...

@mrfellsans @strange0-0storm :]

[neonmetro]

Hey so just as I sent that other ask, I somewhat remembered what I wanted to include in the other one😓

The Achaeans. . .they are so beautiful, my favorite butches. When I'm in the butch lesbian contest and the Achaeans pull up/j

I want to know more about them, but specifically the man of the hour, the pretty princess and diva Achilles !!!!

I also want to know if throughout any of the stories any Corp head(s) specifically will play at least a somewhat significant role. Gosh I hate them all so much /POS /J /SILLY

I also need an excuse to get more Azazel content because. . .they are amazing !!!

(This part may or may not be straight nonsense)

I don't think I ever talked about it, but I really do love Azazel and Molochs relationship so much. There's so much I could say about their relationship. Especially towards the end when Azazel gets ready to kill Moloch. You can really feel the raw emotion. But also some contradictory? It might be me reading it all types of wrong but when I read it, it didn't really feel like Azazel was really sure if them, themselves was ready to go through with what they wanted to do and I honestly love that so much. The whole interaction made my heart heavy and I love it, when Azazel really lays in on thick to Moloch, the words used, the painful reality of it all, the shift of blame honestly I could go on and on about their relationship, but I'll stop to spare my fingers and to spare you from an essay or over analyzing. I really want to see more of those two, they are so cute and silly !!!

Also if I was collecting it right, Abaddon and Arakiel worked together or at least tolerated each other for a short amount of time. I want to know more about how they work together.

I also have to pay my respects to my absolute monarchs, Reficul and Chemosh. . .I love them so much god. . .also I snuck Peneume into my last ask but since this is more Project Martyr targeted than I expected, uh I love Peneume and they serve so hard man. . .always the cunty characters that die first smh. I know they don't have a whole lot about them, but they really are just amazing. Their design makes me just go "awww shucks your so pretty *twirls hair*" Peneume fanclub over here/SILLY

Thank you as always for putting up with my rambling soldier, I salute you🫡

-Ulysses loving anon

HELPPP hello again ulyanon. welcome back

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BUTCHES THE ACHAEANS!!! SHOUTOUT TO THEIR LESBIAN SWAG!!!!! ofc... i can tell you about achilles :) our beautiful princess <3

achilles' soul is in his heel, but usually no one even tries Thinking about hitting him there, but its also the most protected part of his body (paris only manages to kill him by gaining a direct contract of his own with apollo and partially overkilling (that guy is not built for war))

his magical girl clothing is Different from what it'd normally be.

instead of just normal flesh fabric, the flesh separates into nanomachines first before forming fabric. it definitely doesn't feel like fabric, but resembles it. like those 3d printed shit yk?

and he needs constant maintanence bc his ass is so zoomy that he constantly trips and falls and they need repairs, at first it was just his parents but peleus saw that achilles latched onto this Lonely Ass Kid he has in his glorified orphanage he was like yes. i will teach you how to repair my son if he is ever hurt. and patroclus is just like 7 years old

another achilles fact, his nanomachines are able to become as fast as sound (i like song of achilles' reoccuring theme of patroclus' lyre so. adding that in.) and during his encounter with hector, he uses the river that he filled w bodies to disable him even tho hector can be as fast as the speed of light since sound travels faster in the ocean

achilles is kind of stupid bitch. i'm not going to lie. patroclus admires his effortless beauty and finds his stubbornness endearing but also it is ultimately achilles' downfall. he's incredibly immature (refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do, insults everyone, etc) when he isn't entirely anti-social but also he is literally only 15 and even when he's 25 by the time the human urge to kill everything starts, he's still a child soldier to prevent his best friend and partner from risking his own life

i am changing how achilles got into the war to begin with, but if it were following more like the original, ulydio probably would've blackmailed him by saying he was a coward rather than the fact that he was wearing a dress (because frankly they are all serving too much cunt to be saying shit from ancient greece)

in novaturi, agamemnon directly threatens patroclus' life to make achilles spiral into blanket mode and refuse to fight and him letting patroclus fight in his place is just him being so wrapped up in his anger rather than the whole briseis situation (which. you know was the whole point why he started fighting... but he got so wrapped up in his own anger and the audacity of agamemnon to realize that).

briseis is just a hostage and achilles was trying to reason with agamemnon after his own hostage and spoils of war were stolen

patroclus was also the only one contracted to fight, but achilles took his place instead, and patroclus ended up being a repair guy for the achaeans' weapons and achilles

i'll also emphasize how thesis is NOT against patroachilles like in a certain book (i do take a lot of elements of their relationship/inspo from that book but i generally do not like how miller portrays women). she loves her son very much and just has her son's best interest in mind, and if even if he decides to pick some soggy wet loser that's his choice not her's

the corpheads will!! currently trying to make sure all the corpheads will have at least some spotlight but it's a tad difficult considering there are 12 of them and 4 stories so some Will seep out in the cracks and i haven't really started revamping PO's story

aishire and ulysses are the main focus of THUTKE, but aishire is a major background factor of machina mortem

veraswamy plays a somewhat prolific role in aishire's side of THUTKE

dante is featured in the last chapter of apocalypse equos and the last arc of pink overkill

vergil is a background ish character in PO

beatrice MAY have a role in AE

i'm considering giving lancelot a side story in THUTKE? but may have a minor role in PO unsure

estouls has a minor role in apocalypse equos (they haven't been incorporated yet, but i've been thinking of doing so for a bit. maybe on the recruiters' side bc telemachus is currently on the verge of being sacked)

ilya has a minor role in MM, might also have one in AE and PO

junius may have a role in MM as set design. unsure

beowulf might have a role in AE

as mentioned earlier, uly is the main main focus of THUTKE but might have a minor role in 2 other stories as a background character (AE for telemachus, PO intervening and collecting a horsemen. who knows)

YESSS....!!! YOU GET IT !!!!! azazel is absolutely conflicted about killing everything about their life and they have to reassure themselves that this IS the correct choice to get what they want. they've essentially deluded themselves into thinking that they have to destroy everything about themselves before rebuilding themselves, but ultimately azazel does not have the stomach to kill people they used to like.

abaddon and arakiel are parallels to azazel and moloch, though if it were a little bit more fucked. they work together but only tolerating one another while pursuing their own goals. abaddon originally found arakiel already on the verge of death on a vagabond site, and basically gave them an ultimatum to help them do their dirty work and they won't kill them (a slight twist on azazel and moloch's introduction, except azazel never made it clear to moloch that they had bad intentions)

abaddon's already a husk of who they used to be, and they don't even want to live, they just want to survive the killing game in order to later kill aishire. everyone that they kill is just practice on how they could manipulate their way into killing aishire. arakiel is blind to abaddon's own manipulation of them, fully convinced that abaddon is literally not a threat because of how, to put it bluntly, dead abaddon is. arakiel is much more sure of their identity and believes their world view is absolute, but is ultimately betrayed by abaddon, unable to complete any of their goals. abaddon has little to no regard of who they discard or kill. abaddon and arakiel are kind of like bad ends to azazel and moloch, unafraid to cross the line and desecrate memories.

i think its fun to throw in parallels for characters :) they run into each other a lot once moloch is awake

i love them so much too bro.... their designs are my favs they're just so pretty

it makes a bit more sense in story but the first five members of project martyr (+ michael) were woken up first during the killing game and were quarantined together to get the ball rolling and prevent the show from being two short so they had . a lot more extra time to be traumatized together

reficul has a weird ass relationship with the dead wife and is kind of considering divorce but also is afraid to lose genesis a second time. chemosh is just kind of haunted by everything and wishes to isolate themselves and create a safe space for themselves.

(like one joke audio clip and one batman video has spiraled into me making reficul and genesis kind of crazy radioactive yxxi)

peneume the lawyer you are..........

[theholidayslingerlikebadperfume]

something i've been thinking about a lot lately is why so many swifties hate joe.

taylor used to be a lot more open with her personal life. maybe a bit too much. we almost know the exact start and end dates. we could almost pick out which songs were about which exes.

and then joe and taylor got together. and taylor wasn't available anymore – romantically (as taylor had this reputation as the single girl who had bad luck in her previous relationships that made her feel like she was more available than her other female contemporaries), but also more so emotionally.

some people can get possessive over their favourite celebrities, even if they aren't attracted to them. and i don't think it's a stretch to say some gaylors who think joe is a beard would have just as much a problem with him if he was a woman. because for a lot of swifties, it's not about whether taylor is gay or straight, it's about someone taking their ability to know her away. because some people think that because taylor is famous, we have a right to know what would otherwise be private details about her life.

and they see joe an infringement on that 'right.'

Yes, anon, you're 1000% correct about this. I totally agree with you, I'm in awe of how concisely you've managed to put together all my different thoughts about Taylor + her fandom in this perfectly worded message!

I'm going to expand on this thought process because you've given me a lot to digest, but it would be hypocritical of me to not point that conspiracy kaylors are not the only ones who dislike Joe. Many hetlors also call him "boring," or "wet bread" or "uninteresting," and I think you've hit the nail on the head with this analysis.

Swifties are really in denial about the reality of the relationship that they have with Taylor Swift and it's become increasingly clear to me that Taylor has decided to put up a lot of personal boundaries, including removing the secret sessions (she's doing surprise drops because it gives her a valid reason to not invite fans into her house... and the fact that some of us are still in denial about this says a lot... like, shes given us 2 music videos of people/friends/fans infringing in her personal house and lavender haze as a mv is damning to the 1989 era of swiftie-taylor relationships tbh... like, its so clear to me that both the archer in anti hero and the people in LH are symbols of her fans) and not posting on social media.

She's basically gone zero contact with us, even tiktok, like okay tumblr swifties on here complain about taylor being on tiktok and she's not really on tiktok, she films promotional content on tiktok. We don't even fucking know if she's the one liking posts or commenting on videos there, like it's highly unlikely that she's actually wasting her time on tiktok.

Like, every single video, tweet, insta post, tumblr post etc has turned 100% professional and the only connection we have to taylor anymore is through her lyrics. It's a sad reality but it's also partly our fault. Like, okay, we love her too much as a fandom and part of that is because we do feel entitled to know about her personal life.

There is a reoccurring theme in midnights about the overbearing presence of her fans in her personal life. Like, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours is a direct callout to the fact that it was unhealthy of her to be so public about her love life. Many swifties forget how nasty the public was to teenager taylor swift, she's not the same girl we met in 2006. She grew the fuck up and so should we, as a fandom it is unhealthy of so many of us (I'm really disappointed in the adults in this fandom who don't speak up more about Taylor's right to privacy) to have this expectation that we will know every single detail of her life, and that we deserve to know.

Joe is the first relationship she had completely offline and in private. Like, she was in control of when she released the information that she was dating Joe and she has been in complete and total control of exactly what she wants to reveal in her music and about her life since then and a lot of swifties are having trouble reconciling this new boundary that she has put up.

Like, the fact that yall were harassing her account on her just last year is fucking INSANE to me. Why are you DMing a celebrity? It's fucking weird behavior, it's overstepping and it's disregarding personal boundaries. Taylor doesn't want to hear from you, I'm sorry but it's true.

Just because she wants to make music and sing about her life and connect with you in venues that she has pre-approved for a certain alloted period of time doesn't mean that gives you the right to demand her personal time when she is at home, away from the public eye. It really makes me sick, a lot of aspects of stan culture in general because there is a huge lack of respect there for personal boundaries kind of baked into the practice.

I don't think swifties are the first or only problematic fandom (1d is a mess, I'm glad they broke up tbh) but it's definitely unique in our fandom the way Taylor fed into the parasocial aspect because it was necessary for her mental health at the time as well.

When we talk about Taylor being unhealthy during 1989 era, why is that we never mention that her secret sessions/tumblr messages/over-involvedness with her fans was a part of that illness? Why do we refuse to change our behavior as a fandom, and just hold tight to our preconceived notions of who Taylor is and what she wants from us. She has been asking us for space and privacy in her personal life for a while now and I think we should all just stick to dissecting themes in her songs because that's what she wants us to do.

I remember watching a video by a non-swiftie music fan who was like expressing a sentiment of "I find it interesting that when taylor was asked about the secret messages in her lyrics, she replied with whatever it takes to get my fans to read the lyrics." That's what I try and focus on this blog, I try not to read too much into her social media or her personal life but rather just stick to reading her lyrics.

I think we all need to get comfortable with just reading her lyrics and relating to her in that way.

[ryanssunkenblog]

Blog Post #3

This class continued to show me terrific movies that I would have never watched otherwise. I have learned to love horror movies more and more, as I feel now that their plots are just so much deeper and meaningful than most other typical movies. Candyman is one of these movies that I absolutely loved and could not get enough of. What really fascinated me about the movie was how the Cabrini-Green neighborhood was practically haunted, a town that was filled with African Americans. Shows a connection to real life and how there is a legacy of racism that surrounds African American communities. The character William Burke, a laundry mat owner who constantly shares the horror story of the Candyman, which causes the horror that occurs in this town to continue on reoccurring, I found to be very interesting, as it shows how the people in the town are keeping the traditions alive, which thus only lead to their own horror. This aspect of the movie is the reason I love black horror movies so much. It is not always about the specific plot and action in the movie that makes it great, instead meaning and the multifaceted layers of depth in a movie cause me to think and want to rewatch to see if I missed an aspect of the movie is what I learned to value. Furthermore in the story, I enjoyed how they connected how Anthony McCoy’s quest for his success and artistic identity to his downfall and demise. Him attempting to try and explore the Candyman and the dark identity of his community led to him discovering that he was the baby that got saved and his own relation to Candyman. Also, the idea of how obsession over something is not a good thing is shown in the movie through Anthony as well. I love the idea of obsession as it can be practically related back to any individual. We all have our own obsessions, none of which are good. When obsessions go too far, they start to become dangerous and really ruin lives. I am sure we all know someone whose obsession has cost them relationships and their downfall, whether that is drug-related, or even to something so simple such as food or social media. Anthony’s madness is what led him to discover his connection to the Candyman legend, which shows the theme of madness and obsession that is prevalent and important throughout the movie.

[flowersdaggersviolasandblood]

Blood, Flesh, and Tears

Name: Torment (He/Him)

Race: Zariel Tiefling

Class: Paladin (Oath of Vengence)

Background: Haunted One

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

After speaking with Jaheira and getting acquainted with Last Light Inn, the crew decided to go meet Isobel. After a brief conversation, we, of course, fought the traitorous Flaming Fist who attempted to take Isobel away. I was nearly tempted to let that happen, but because I decked out my peeps and just did too well lmao. However, the urge to harm Isobel was an ever present desire within Torment. With Last Light still standing, Torment agrees to reach Moonrise Towers and go renegade while also figuring out what magic was used on the parasites.

To further assist in our journey, the Harpers intend to ambush a traveling Absolute cult group who has access to a lantern that will help further against the darkness. This is where we are on the opposite spectrum of the fight between the Absolute cult vs the Harpers where we can fight with the Harpers instead of the Absolute cult. Once we obtained the lantern, I decided to let the pixie go, despite Torment wanting to kill the small creature.

While resting at camp, Mizora decides to pay us a visit asking that Wyll go free a devil that's currently trapped at Moonrise Towers. Unlike Pero, Nalanthar, and Admaer who were able to see that Mizora was in a desperate situation where she NEEDS Wyll to succeed; Torment is silly and wasn't to sus her out.

As he went to sleep, we got another visit from our imp-goblin butler.

Sceleritas Fel, ever the most dutiful butler, comes to use with a proposition that we should go after Isobel and murder her in cold blood. Despite Torments' arguments against this, Fel gives a warning against not harming Isobel as he reminds him of the fate of poor Alfira and how he killed her after spending so long not killing an innocent life. It's becoming a reoccurring theme that murdering those who deserve death isn't enough for Torment and his urge. He needs the blood of lambs, to torture and stomp out the hopes of innocents.

During another night after exploring for a bit, apparently, Wyll and Torment are on exceptionally good terms lol. Wyll offered a dance with Torment, and despite the Tieflings' push back, he joins Wyll. In Torments mind, he wants to experience a semblance of normalcy so dancing with Wyll, while it might've was making him sick because he wanted to snap the guys' legs, it did make Torment feel good. However, Torment saw the indicators that Wyll wanted something more from the relationship and silently refused his advances.

Afterwards, while speaking with Withers, Withers made note of Torment not having any maidens, which Torment expresses that he wouldn't want to burden anyone with his bloodlust.

While explore more of the Cursed Lands, we stumbled upon a curious sight! I've never met this individual with Pero since I explore the most of the Cursed Lands with her. They call themselves, He Who Was (We'll nickname them HWW) and they're hellbent on getting vengeance for some victims that were killed by a individual whom they were speaking with. The only thing is, the killer is already dead. But HWW wants to find further evidence of their crime so that they may be judged again. Torment agrees to help and places it in his back pocket to look for any clues about this past murderer. Also, HWW's bird is fucking hilarious XD.

While exploring, we also met the kid Oliver. Ok, imma admit, I had to look up a guide for this kid because I wasn't sure if I was doing anything right. I wasn't doing anything wrong, just looking in the wrong place since the answer to Arts' blight right now can be found at the House of Healing. But, for the sake of the future, I had Torment play hide & seek with the kid. As we inched closer to Reithwin, we rediscovered Rolan and saved his sorry hide. Much like Pero who wasn't taking his shit, Torment asked if it was better that he left Rolan to die. Regardless of the Tiefling's complaints, they ran back to Last Light Inn.

Once we reached the town, I made a beeline to go after Arabella because I thought I saw somewhere online where it's possible to save the girls' parents. After inviting her to camp, I immediately went to the side building not too far to see if I could save them. But nope, they're still dead. I even checked some game articles to see if I was missing something, but nope, poor girl is doomed to loose her parents apparently. Unless I'm missing something. Torment, like Pero, decided to be forth coming about her parents death, though he could've handled it better since he decided to speak in detail what happened to their corpses lol.

I decided to kill the nurse there and that might be want I will do on this gameplay with Torment and see how many of the Thorm family I can kill myself instead of telling them to KYS. Before ending this, Torment had a brief conversation with Astarion about his scars and whom else Cazador assaulted. Astarion talks about his other "brothers and sisters" and explains how he was the favorite of them all.

[tieshoeseveryday]

Inner reflection of TV

This piece is a direct development from my 3rd year exhibition work 'Mise en scene'. The imagery of TV diorama has been a reoccuring concept in my practice. Exploring the relationship with depicted 'reality' on screen versus the our understanding of true reality. The notion of being influenced by certain films, tv shows, scenes or characters, and the impact it has on individuals in their daily lives.

The setting is what the television would 'see' in a living room, hence it is a inner relfection. The choice to place it on a plinth is a contemporary decision to allow the TV become the figurative subject.

After attending Mike Heynes lecture, I was very influenced witht he aesthetic property of oldschool technology and the nostalgic effects.

The use of CRT TVs in art can serve several purposes and evoke specific artistic intentions. Here are a few reasons why artists might choose to incorporate CRT TVs in their artwork:

Nostalgia and Retro Aesthetics: CRT TVs have a nostalgic appeal, reminding people of a bygone era when they were the primary display technology. Artists may use CRT TVs to tap into this nostalgia, evoking a sense of familiarity and reminiscence. They can also employ the unique visual characteristics of CRT displays, such as scan lines and vibrant color saturation, to create a retro aesthetic in their artwork.

Commentary on Technological Progress and Obsolescence: The use of CRT TVs can be a commentary on the rapid advancement of technology and the resulting obsolescence of older devices. By incorporating CRT TVs in their art, artists can explore themes of change, transience, and the fleeting nature of technological innovations. It prompts viewers to reflect on the transient nature of technology and its impact on society.

Manipulation of Visual and Textural Qualities: CRT TVs offer distinct visual and textural qualities that artists may find appealing for their artwork. The glowing phosphor screen, flickering images, and analog distortions can create a unique visual experience. Artists can utilize these characteristics to add texture, depth, and an element of unpredictability to their pieces.

Critique of Media Consumption and Manipulation: Artists may use CRT TVs as a means to critique the pervasive presence of media in our lives and the potential manipulative power it holds. By showcasing CRT TVs displaying specific content or juxtaposing them with other elements, artists can question the influence of media on society, explore themes of surveillance, or examine how information is disseminated and consumed.

Interactive and Participatory Installations: Some artists incorporate CRT TVs as part of interactive or participatory installations. These installations may invite viewers to engage with the TVs, manipulating the content displayed or interacting with the physical objects themselves. This interactivity encourages active participation and blurs the boundaries between art and audience.

[astrolovecosmos]

Vertex: What We Can’t Control

Vertex is a point located in the right-hand side of a chart that represents the intersection of the ecliptic and the prime vertical. In astrology, it is considered an auxiliary or extra Descendant. Some astrologers refer to the Vertex as the “third angle” of a chart.  It is associated with wish fulfillment, awakenings or realizations, the idea of destiny or fate, and some use it for moments that are life changing such as meeting your spouse, a death of a loved one, birth of a child, etc. My focus isn’t on predictive astrology and because of this I don’t use Vertex often in my own readings. Vertex can be popular in synastry but I also don’t typically incorporate it into those charts. I analyze it from the perspective of how we approach what we can’t control, realizations, and our view or approach to wishes and “fate”. 

Vertex in Aries: There is a pull or call to be a leader in some fashion. This person may also feel like they are constantly fighting against “fate” or has a focus on making their own destiny. This person can feel like they are always falling into situations where they are forced to lead, fight, or assert. Defining the self may be important to feeling fulfilled. Self-expression and honoring the importance of the individual can help them feel more stable in a chaotic world. 

Vertex in Taurus: Anyone familiar with that scene from Frozen 2 where Olaf goes “we’re calling this controlling what you can when things feel out of control”? That is the first thing I thought of for Vertex in Taurus. The fear and frustration surrounding what they cannot control can be real. In terms of fate many describe this position as being about finding inner security and being more independent. For many Taurus placements there is the reoccurring theme of learning to overcome fear of the unknown, let go of control, to find flexibility, but most importantly to cultivate inner stability. With Vertex this individual may find themselves falling down a rabbit hole of unpredictable fate, but none of that should matter as long as they understand the power they hold in their own actions and decisions. 

Vertex in Gemini: Here we see someone who tries to get a handle on the unknown or their own destiny via learning as much as they can about the world, themselves, the occult, science, etc. Communication is also important to them in easing anxieties or feeding curiosity. They love to theorize or talk hypotheticals. Here we almost see a reflection of their polar opposite Sagittarius - there is a desire to find meaning in the world. Communicating their needs, fears, and wants can be helpful with feeling fulfilled or like they are on the right path. 

Vertex in Cancer: All of the water signs have a powerful relationship with the idea of fate and Vertex. Here we see themes of strong intuition, attachment, or maybe even psychic abilities. There is a close tie to their fate, whether they are making their own destiny, getting hunches about what path to take, or have world swallowing doubt and fears. Their relationship to the unknown, the instability of life, and to ideas of destiny are deep and felt strongly. With Cancer there is a focus on protecting and nurturing the self and others. They need to be careful of focusing too much on taking care of others or taking on their feelings. Reexamining family, making a new family, or dealing with family cycles or trauma may be in the cards for them. Attending to the inner child or wounded self is important in making themselves sane in such a crazy world. 

Vertex in Leo: Individuality, creativity, self-expression, and empowerment are themes surrounding this Vertex. To become the best version of yourself could summarize this placement when talking about destiny. To adapt or cope with a world that is outside of their control they must create their own world or path. To stand out and/or lead the way is what will help them feel most fulfilled in life. Authenticity is a buzzword now-a-days but that trait or way of being is a necessity for Vertex in Leo as they plummet through the universe. Feelings of grandeur, uniqueness, power, or nobility may go through them sometimes. While they need to be careful of not letting this go to their head or tripping them up - these feelings of power are important in shaping their own future and self. 

Vertex in Virgo: Much like Taurus there is a fear of the unknown or not being in control. To find inner stability could be a struggle. The focus for Vertex in Virgo is to find a way to feel purposeful, needed, or useful. This gives them a sense of direction and stability. This Vertex prefers routine, predictability, and structure. They may be overly practical in terms of fate - believing there are no other influences that determine their life other than them. Similar to Vertex in fire they can have a “I make my own destiny” attitude. Vertex in Virgo may have a pull to work on their intuition. The Vertex sits on an axis like all other points in a chart. The opposite sign is the Anti-Vertex which some astrologers believe to be how we shape our fate or what we have to offer in relationships and life. With Virgo Vertex and Pisces as the Anti-Vertex there is an opportunity to hone their intuition. On the subject of helping others or finding meaning - it is listening to their feelings and hunches that might lead them to how they can do this. 

Vertex in Libra: Trying to see their fate in other people or believing other people are their fate is associated. Learning to create their own destiny or standing on their own or standing out can be a lesson surrounding this Vertex. Finding peace by connecting with others and feeling less alone is also associated, especially in terms of dealing with what cannot be controlled or foreseen. Cooperation and adaptability are strengths needed to feel whole. 

Vertex in Scorpio: There is a lot to be said about willpower here. This person likely is a strong believer in making their own destiny. Strong premonitions and hunches can lead them into believing in a higher power or feeling in tune with the spiritual or unknown. Scorpio is pulled to master their turbulent emotions and intensity as well as conquer and understand the mysteries inside themselves. It’s about learning self-control but also when to unleash. To transform and do all of the hard work in the background so that when life throws you curveballs you are ready. They master themselves, master their life, master the universe. 

Vertex in Sagittarius: It is through faith in themselves, the universe, or that everything will turn out okay that this person gets through the unpredictability of life. There can be a desire to find meaning, especially through spirituality, religion, or a unique philosophy. Sagittarius is a sign that chases truth and by chasing it they can make sense of the world. Being in the role of teacher and student helps them feel right in the universe. They must always be searching, learning, and exploring. 

Vertex in Capricorn: In a world they can’t control this person can face a lot of challenges. They can be tempted into acting authoritative or controlling. However respect and self-authority are important for this person to feel more stable, concrete, fulfilled. To lead others with a level-head and patience is the best route for them. Even better is to focus on their own success and lead by example. This placement is prone to a highly realistic and sometimes negative view of the world and possibly the idea of destiny. This placement can bring about big rewards and depth when they listen to their heart and to loved ones and when they focus. 

Vertex in Aquarius: Aquarius is known for not fearing the unknown and embracing the unpredictable. When Vertex is in this sign there are lessons about acceptance, tolerance, cooperation, and communication. It is the craziness of people and the harm people can do that gets them wanting to become a hermit or to leave the narrative. There can be a temptation to hide away from intimacy, passion, and attachment. The Futurama “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” meme is for them. Being boxed in by the idea of “destiny” might not appeal to them. To feel fulfilled in life is to feel connected and belonging. Embracing all different types of people and relationships can help them feel more sure of the world, of humanity. 

Vertex in Pisces: This person likely is a strong believer in fate and destiny. If you are one who believes in psychic abilities, this could be a strong indicator for some. This person should be careful of getting lost in wild dreams or a big picture that doesn’t include themselves or include others in their lives. Fate may have big plans for them but it is through their loved ones and how they can help others that they feel most fulfilled. They may feel like life is always throwing them into situations where they are forced to help or to empathize. Learning discernment and protection is important. They don’t need to help or heal everyone, in fact it is in their choice who to help that might make them feel the most sure and solid in life. 

[toastandjamie]

I have- so many feelings. I’ve been trying to write an analysis since last night but everything I wrote is incomprehensible so this is an attempt: advanced apologies. Originally I wanted to make a post about C!Quackity and C!Tommy’s relationship but then it got me thinking of talking about what makes Tommy so vulnerable to manipulation even incidentally which brought me to Wilbur and Techno. So I’ve decided to just make a mishmash comparing Tommy’s relationships to these three complicated people.

Starting with Quackity I think we can all agree, Quackity GETS Tommy. In a way others on the server(like Fundy or Foolish) just straight up don’t. Quackity treats Tommy a lot like he treats Slime, with this understanding that Tommy isn’t like everyone else and won’t respond to things like others would. Because Tommy in spite of everything really does act like a kid. He acts out because of boredom or frustration especially when he’s ignored. Often others get frustrated when dealing with Tommy, but Quackity has this odd level of patience different from say Sam, Puffy or even Foolish in that he puts himself at Tommy’s level. At the start I think this was just a genuine attempt at having fun with our chaos raccoon but at the moment it’s almost patronizing(a reoccurring theme). Quackity understands that pushing Tommy will only result in property damage, but he also knows that he can’t let him run around unsupervised(because property damage). When Quackity is unaware that Tommy is listening he sounds more than a little frustrated at his antics, but then Tommy throws on a pair of pants claiming to be called Trousers and insists that he is not in fact Tommyinnit. Quackity plays along, he doesn’t try and force Tommy to stop, he humors him. This is something Quackity does a lot with Tommy, and it’s why Tommy still seems to have positive feelings towards him. Quackity humors him the way adults will humor a child who’s insisting that they are a wizard. Through this lense(which I think Quackity is fully aware of) he’s able to get Tommy into a less aggressive state and get information out him. Like why he’s working with Wilbur, and Tommy’s feelings about it. Which also unfortunately makes him super easy to use. I think in the future as Quackity slowly succumbs to the inevitable power hungry corruption that’ll bury whatever soft spot he has for Tommy, we’ll see Quackity take advantage of Tommy’s blatant abandonment issues using the trust he’s built through these small appeasement based interactions.

Moving on; C!Wilbur Soot! This is a land mine let me tell you. Because Listen, Wilbur is obviously, severely traumatized and mentally ill. I don’t think Wilbur necessarily has any malicious intentions towards Tommy. But unfortunately this bad boy is backing a fuck load of unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviors. Such as his possessive streak! We saw with L’manburg the whole “if I can’t have you no one can!” Mentality, which has now been transferred to Tommy. It’s a move to assert his control over a situation and unfortunately for Tommy he’s a prime vessel for this behavior because he has absolutely no concept of healthy boundaries! Since his backstory and relationships are a bit blurry we can’t make any definitive explanation for where this came from but for the sake of argument let’s say Tommy has known Wilbur since he was young, and Wilbur was always someone with a possessive personality(albeit less obvious due to the fact that he wasn’t traumatized yet). Being raised by or around someone who never sets boundaries with you can lead to a person growing up not able to do so themselves. And wouldn’t you know it Tommy has clearly never had a stable healthy relationship because all of them have been transactional or codependent. Which is, bad.(shout out to Tubbo and Ranboo though for trying to enforce healthy boundaries sadly though the timing of this separation couldn’t have been worse). Currently I think it’s safe to say Wilbur and Tommy have a codependent relationship. One with a very clear imbalance of power, comparable to a codependent parent-child relationship. In which Tommy excuses Wilbur’s bad behaviors out of a sense of responsibility, this feeling that because they’re “family” he owes it to Wilbur to stay by his side. Not to mention how Tommy obviously craves guidance and leadership from paternal/fraternal figures, which he originally found in Wilbur(later in Dream, Techno and Sam afterwards). Tommy very clearly desires a family structure in which he is loved and protected no matter what, and Wilbur fills that role easily and willingly. Wilbur wants someone who’ll be loyal to him and will never leave or betray him, and Tommy wants someone who’ll protect and care for and, say it with me boys, will never leave or betray him. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting someone to be there for you, but because of their complexes and traumas these feelings of fraternal affection are twisted into a relationship lacking boundaries and for Tommy, complete absence of autonomy. Only doing things because Wilbur wants him to me, because he wants Wilbur to be happy and Wilbur is never wrong. Not a good mindset to have when dealing with someone like Wilbur who is destructive as a means of coping.

Lastly another landmine, in the form of Technoblade! Ah yes, bedrock bros. We love them and miss them. But newsflash guys they ALSO had an unhealthy transactional relationship! But here’s the thing about unhealthy relationships, sometimes people are just not good for eachother. There’s no bad guy or good guy. No ones in the right or wrong. They just, weren’t good for eachother. Now whether this was situational or not can only be answered if they reconnect with healthier mindsets but for now we’ll say it’s situational. Obviously, Tommy was clearly in a bad place. Just barely managing to escape exile after a narrowly thwarted suicide attempt: now packing a whole slew of issues, from paranoia, depression, fear of abandonment, low self worth, and just general debilitating stress. Techno was ALSO in a bad place, he just hides it under a sense of self righteous justice: like guys, his only friend was put under house arrest because of him associating with him, and he was then executed under the threat of death of his faithful horse companion. Techno was angry and blinded by revenge. A bad mix when you toss in a traumatized codependent teenager desperately searching for someone to fill the empty void of fraternal leadership left by Wilbur’s death. Tommy really just wants someone to tell him what to do, like let’s not kid ourselves here. Techno offered Tommy protection from Dream, which yay! But also creates an unbalanced power dynamic(bringing that one back!). I genuinely believe that it wasn’t Techno’s intention, but the thing is, the relationship became transactional: a “I’ll protect you and take care of you if you do what I say and help me.” Type scenario. It was impossible for Tommy to really comfortably say no, at risk of being tossed out of straight up given to Dream to face whatever horrible consequences running away had. BESIDES that, they are just two very different people who had very different priorities. Techno wanted vengeance against L’manburg, Tommy wanted to be protected but always had the intention of returning to L’manburg one day(clearly believing getting the discs would be a catch all problem solver). These two priorities are in direct conflict with eachother; as a result they’re partnership would never have worked in the long term. Here’s the kicker to what makes this relationship so unhealthy though, because those things in isolation don’t make an unhealthy relationship but the fact that Tommy’s poor mental state fueled by Techno’s blood seeking revenge made him act in ways HE deemed wrong, makes it unhealthy. Tommy wasn’t lying, being with Techno made him become a person he didn’t want to be, and it’s NOT Techno’s fault. It was the unfortunate consequence of their opposing view points and unhealthy mental states. Perhaps in a world where the Butcher Army never existed the Bedrock Bro’s team up could have been a moment of healing for both characters; but alas that was not the world we are privy to in canon.

Yeah so that’s it for now I guess

[sheepprophet]

Something I find refreshing about the dream smp is how the ccs and fandom interact with other. In my experience, for a majority of fandoms the best they usually get from the creators of the thing they like is some generalized praise or maybe a wink-wink nudge-nudge in an episode. Some fandoms are even disliked by the creators!

But with the dream smp, the relationship feels more like a conversation. A give and take. They make the original/canon content, we make fanart, fanfiction, theories, analysis, etc for it, the ccs see it, like it, and sometimes even incorporate it into the story, and the cycle continues.

This is probably most obvious with how uniquely animatics are treated in this fandom? Not only are a lot made, considering this is a non-musical fandom, but theyre also so highly regarded! By the fandom and the ccs alike! The clearest example of this is of course with Sad-ist. A lot of the ccs are subbed to her on YouTube, will watch her animatics/animations when they premier rather than waiting to react to it live, and will banter with or hype her up on twitter. But they do this kind of thing with a pretty decent amount of the fandom, just maybe not as consistantly, and i love seeing it!

Another example that's especially encouraging is, when the ccs see us correctly guess what's going to happen through theorizing and analyzing the content, they're literally never like upset or disappointed by it. On the contrary, they are almost always so fucking excited when we figure something out! Some of them have even used our theories to help them come up with cool ideas that they might not have thought to do on their own!

Like the whole trajectory of c!Karl turning out to be a time traveler wasn't planned and something Karl decided to do because he liked the theories and fanart about it. And at this point, it's a reoccurring theme that if you see a cool c!Ranboo theory circulating the fandom (on twitter or tumblr), there's a good chance Ranboo will silently make in canon in the next couple streams! Like the idea that he could pick up grass blocks as a form of self-soothing/slik touch hands in general. Even wider-reaching things like the canon death system was originally a fan theory on reddit, made a day or so after November 16th to explain why c!Wilbur and c!Schlatt were now actually dead, when other deaths have had little to no lasting consequences. Wilbur saw it, thought it was a good idea, and promptly made it canon.

I could probably go on, but I love this aspect of this fandom and i love the content creators for letting this relationship develop this way. Of course, it can lead to it's own issues (such as the canon deaths system still being confusing, just in a different way and the concern that fans might become kinda entitled to the ccs' attention). But, it's just really... comforting(?) imo after so much popular media recently has started to feel like they almost hate their fandoms and want them to suffer?? (e.g. game of thrones, supernatural, etc)

[ivemanifest]

Weekly Oracle Reading For The Collective

(Week January 25th to January 30th of 2022)

The first card Hecate symbolizes a turning point and transition in our lives with this present moment. With the following card Aphrodite, this is something that has to do with our love life and passions in life that bring us love. It also symbolisms our moments of faith and understanding the faith it takes to feel that full hearted love again. The Persephone card calls us back to resilience and encourages us to continue our journey even in the face of uncomfortable and undesirable circumstances. The last two cards, Dreamtime Creation and Childhood Innocence is call back to where we first started, when we were young and could imagine anything and everything being possible. This collective oracle reading is calling us to be here in this present moment and to find love within and around this present moment. As humans we experience a multitude of transitions within our lives and it is easy to get lost in the future or the past. Yet we are called to direct our attention to this present moment to find love again. To find love within ourselves, within our dreams and even within our relationships. Asks yourself what is something that you love right now and continue to follow this feeling until it is spread all around your body. The theme of faith is a reoccurring theme in these reading. Faith is beyond the world of understanding, faith is complete surrendering and willingness to allow Source to flow. During these present moment experiences we need to have faith in whatever may come next. Wherever we are feeling a lack of love in our life, it is time to carry the faith within us to allow that love to flow back in. Faith is love in the most deepest form because Love is knowing without questioning, and this is our form of greatest surrendering. You must allow your faith to guide you into the arms of love again so you can get back to your true essence where you know that anything and everything is possible. Start now in the present moment and allow yourself to fall into the love of the present moment and the faith within the present moment now. This will bring us back to the times where we felt like anything can become real. This is our true nature that is calling us once again.

🔮 To book a personal reading with me, check out this link here

[violent-optimism]

The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug (Revisited)

Hello everyone!

Does anyone remember a couple years ago when I said I was going to do a revisit of the entire Hobbit trilogy? No? Well, does anyone remember when I did my review of the first movie and never went back to it?

Hm, yeah…I didn’t think so.

I’m kind of poking fun at myself here but I digress. I believe at the time I revisited the first movie I was right in the middle of University Exams and just didn’t have the time to properly critique the two sequels. But hey, here I am…a couple years later, fully graduated and with more free time somehow. So with all that said, for anyone who still listens to my ramblings on this site…

Let’s pick up where we left off!

The Desolation of Smaug has always been my personal favourite of the trilogy. It contains some of my favourite scenes in the book and I think (for the most part) Jackson and his team honoured the source material while adding some original surprises. Gone is the slow, yawn-worthy pacing of An Unexpected Journey. Desolation of Smaug (DOS) grabs you by the arm, pulls you quickly along and seldom lets go.

One of the first scenes in the movie; when the company is running away from Beorn (who they just think is a very large, angry bear) completely sets the tone for the rest of the film. Bilbo, Thorin and the rest are basically on the run for the whole movie; whether it’s from Orcs, Spiders, Elves or something more dangerous than all of those combined.

I’m not sure if this was always going to be the case, or if Peter Jackson heard the feedback on AUJ and realized that DOS needed to move much quicker. Either way, this film feels way more gripping, exciting and suspenseful than its predecessor. The film is also considerably darker in tone which I think aids it beautifully. Almost all of the new characters are a welcome surprise; even the ones who weren’t technically in the source material.

Evangeline Lily plays Tauriel, the Captain of the Guard in the Woodland Realm who was not in Tolkien’s novel. Although her addition to the story was quite controversial, Tauriel proves herself as the fierce, yet compassionate female energy that this movie so desperately needed.

Other noteworthy characters include Lee Pace’s stunning portrayal as King Thranduil, Luke Evans as Bard and Benedict Cumberbatch as the Dragon Smaug (MUCH more on him later). Most of the new characters have great introductions, are well-developed in a short amount of time and the performances are rock solid.  

I will say that the two characters I didn’t much care for then or now is the Master of Lake town and his servant, Alfrid. Thank goodness these characters are not on screen for very long. No shade to Stephen Fry or Ryan Gage; it’s clear that they’re both good actors. There’s just something very off about the characters that I can’t put my finger on.

Martin Freeman and Richard Armitage are still fantastic as always. Martin does a great job at showing Bilbo’s slowly developing love-hate relationship with the ring. But that’s not really much of a shocker, is it? Richard also adds a similar layer to Thorin. By the end of the film it’s clear that the dragon sickness is already starting to show in his behaviour; especially towards Bilbo. If the theme of the first movie was adventure and finding ones bravery; the theme of DOS is how dangerous our obsessions can become. It truly is a reoccurring theme in all of Tolkien’s works but in this case it rings true for more than one character.

So besides a couple minor characters, what else doesn’t work for me with Desolation of Smaug? Well, like the first movie, the sequel also suffers from odd and unnecessary scene inclusions. The fight between Bolg and Legolas is a perfect example of a scene that could have easily been saved for the extended edition. As I mentioned earlier, the sequel’s pacing is one of its greatest strengths which works in favour of getting through those small, yet unnecessary moments.

The other big issue I have with DOS is that unfortunately, a lot of the CGI looks unpolished or even unfinished. The Barrels sequence is a good example of this, as well as a very ambitious shot involving Smaug. Scenes involving full-body CGI doubles don’t always look great either. I’m not entirely sure what is to blame for this animation blunder. If I had to guess, I would say the team simply didn’t have enough time for the finishing touches before the big deadline. It’s an unfortunate outcome; one that can take the viewer out of the movie here and there. Luckily, for the most part, this does not detract from the overall experience. The animation is still good (and perfect even) when it matters most.

Speaking of perfect animation; this is the part of the review I’ve been most excited to write. It’s time to talk about Smaug and how freaking fantastic he is in this movie. First, let’s talk CGI. Almost 10 years later and Smaug is still a massive achievement in computer animation. The way he moves, all those little details in his eyes and mouth; absolutely nothing looks janky or out of place. It’s so hard to convey in writing; you really just have to see it for yourself. I honestly don’t think Smaug’s animation will ever look outdated. I still remember sitting in the theatre and seeing him for the first time and somehow knowing that CGI was never going to get better than this.

Next, let’s talk about Benedict. We can stand around and make Sherlock jokes all day but the fact of the matter is that no one else could have played Smaug. Okay, maybe someone could have but I guarantee they would not have given the same powerful, frightening and sadistic performance that Benedict did. He truly made Smaug a villain that is both physically and psychologically dangerous. All of his scenes with Bilbo and the Dwarves are just so perfect and so true to the spirit of the book. Smaug is the kind of villain you almost want to root for because he is just so cool and fascinating to watch. If Tolkien were alive today, I’m not sure he would be satisfied with any of his adapted works; but I have a feeling he would have been impressed with Smaug.

While there is still so much I want to talk about with this film, I figured I’d leave it on a high note to wrap things up. In short, I love this movie and it is my favourite of the trilogy. The Desolation of Smaug might stumble here and there; but on the whole I believe Peter Jackson and his team put a lot of care and effort into this part of the story. It’s fun, exciting and has some of the best moments in the entire trilogy; not to mention one of the most foreboding cliff-hangers in cinematic history.

Upon revisiting this film, I am going to give “The Desolation of Smaug” 8 out of 10.

My revisit of “The Battle of Five Armies” should be out in the next week or so.

Thanks to everyone who still reads my posts! You guys are the best!

[reversemoon255]

(From September 2020 to February 2021, I worked on a Pokémon themed Dungeons and Dragons campaign for a few friends. We didn’t get very far, but I put a significant amount of work into the world, story, and several Pokémon that would appear throughout, including an original set of starters. I want to to leave some record of my work, so I thought I’d write a few summary posts. And while I designed these Pokémon, their fantastic art was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter. I highly recommend you check them out.)

Dungeons 'n' Dragonites - Phase 1: Hello Stelopy City

Our story starts in Stelopy City, located in the Wellou Region. We get a brief introduction from DJ Tomomitsu, a radio host, before each player got their own brief story segments. Our first player was Ethan, as aspiring chef, who lived on campus at his high school. Ethan was approached by one of his dorm mates with a favor (to get him out of the building), as well as having an attractive girl meandering around the kitchen (if he wished to try flaunting his culinary skills). He would then get to choose to either finish up his side-quest or go to the local fisher's market, with him transitioning between those locations taking him to the area where he would meet his starter Pokémon:

"As you enter the alleyway, the walls are covered floor-to-ceiling in moss that seem to appear as soon as the shadows overtake the sunlight. The farther you walk, the more weeds you see popping through the cracks. Once you reach the half-way point, you come to a small open space. With the sunlight now flickering down through the plants brave enough to venture off the verdant walls, the entire area shines a bright, emerald green. In the center of this area is a decently sized fountain. It's no longer flowing, but there's a decent amount of rain water filling it up close to the brim. As you approach it, even through the murky iridescent waters, you can see a thick, fuzzy amount of lichen growing all throughout the inside of the basin. As you pass by the fountain, you hear an audible sploosh. Do you turn around? (Y/N)"

There he would meet the first of our new Starter, the Grass-Type Flymph. I kept it secret that I was doing original Starters. Part of my personal excitement in planning everything was the eventual reveal of these designs I had created. Kept me going when things started feeling like a grind.

Our second player, Johnny, started off at home, woken by his father asking him to run an errand. After being able to talk to his family a bit, he proceeded to a somewhat beaten-up house on the edge of the Pokémon-overrun abandoned district where he would receive some boat parts before leaving and the sidewalk underneath him collapses. Stumbling around the abandoned subway tunnels for a bit, he would run into our second Starter, the Fire-Type Calfyre.

Johnny's player wanted to become an entertainer, which didn't give me a lot to work session one, so a lot of his opener was focused on expanding the world and giving everyone an idea of areas they would be exploring later.

Third was Orion who had a quiet morning at home before being provoked via text messages from his siblings to chase down a mysterious "Wailord in a Top Hat." This pursuit would also lead him to the fisher's market and the nearby docks, where, after just catching sight of his quarry, he would encounter the Water-Starter Squisque.

Orion's player wanted a lot of his story to be based on his relationship with his father, so most of his opening was based on reinforcing his family dynamic. Not home, everyone’s busy, focus on work. This particular Saturday was strange in that Orion didn’t have anything going on.

Our last player was Arthur, who also lived on campus. While our other three players started their segments in bed, Arthur was playing lacrosse. After having an opportunity to show off (or fail), he would be told by a friend that he had upset his girlfriend that morning (kitchen girl from Ethan's story), and needed Arthur to pick up her favorite dessert while he attempted to woo her for the rest of the day. After doing so (while being given a chance to explore some of the local stores) he encountered a hungry Houndoom who proceeds to chase him up a fire escape. Once up there he encountered our final Starter, the Fairy-Type Utaw.

After each player met their Starters, they would have a brief tutorial battle against three Pokémon they were advantageous against before running into each other, and were subsequently arrested for "stealing" Pokémon, which would cap session one.

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Let's talk design. Stelopy City is loosely based on Chicago, is a portmanteau of "Steel Canopy," and Wellou is a joke on Illinois. The vast majority of the campaign was to take place in this location. Most of my players had very busy schedules (so busy it took us three sessions to get through the above opener), so DJ Tomomitsu was a way for me to easily start each session with a list of things to do (side-quests), and they as a group could decide which they were the most interested in based on time. Tomomitsu himself was based on DJ Sagara from Kamen Rider Gaim, with Tomomitsu being the name of the actor who played him.

As for the starters, I tried to stick to the reoccurring themes we’ve seen over the past 8 Generations. Flymph's name is a portmanteau of Dragonfly, Errol Flynn, and Nymph (the larval form of a Dragonfly). He's meant to be a special attacker, but, like an early DND Wizard, doesn't have access to a lot of them so he brandishes his sword-like arms to intimidate his foes instead. His diet consists entirely of lichens, algae, and similar flora, storing them in his transparent stomach pouches, and can be seen sunbathing in the water, belly up, feeding the plant matter the sunlight they need to grow. He also does not like Bug-Types, and isn’t Bug himself because of Grass/Bug’s myriad of weaknesses (for balancing), plus he changes Types after his first evolution. The theme of Grass Starters is extinction, which won’t become clear until his final evolution, but you may be able to guess how he relates.

Fire Starters are themed after the Chinese Zodiac, and of the remaining four yet to be used (including Snake, Ram, and Horse), I went with Ox. Calfyre's name is a play on Calf and Fire, and is meant to play like a Barbarian. When it comes to personality he's very timid and unsure of himself like a first-time DND player might be acting in a group. Unlike most Fire-Types, Calfyre lacks a Flame Sac. Instead, his spiral horns are filled with a freon-like liquid that, when swirled, rapidly absorbs energy from the air, which he uses for attacks. This chills the air around him, and makes him one of the few Fire-Types that are cold to the touch. Which sucks, because he’s a snugly sleeper.

Water Starters are usually themed after a weapon or character class. This usually shows in the later evolutions, but it's pretty obvious Squisque (a portmanteau of Squirt, Squire, and Bisque) is themed off a lance and shield. He's a paladin in both role and personality, charging in at the slightest sign of trouble, even if there isn't any real danger. It's the typical non-nuanced idea of what people think when they hear "Paladin." He was to a degree supposed to play a catalyst role, charging into situations the players may not want to in order to force them into helping people or combat if need be. He was also the first design I settled on, being based on an old Kaijin idea I had of a lobster-knight using its asymmetrical claws as different medieval weapons.

Utaw is unique, not just in that he was a fourth or Fairy Starter, but in conception. I was only supposed to have three players, but ended up with four. As such, his design is responsive to the others. Why a dinosaur? Because I had a mammal, crustacean, and bug, was unsure if I wanted a bird or reptile, and decided to meet half-way. Why is he Fairy? Because it has very little interaction with Fire, Water, and Grass, while still having defined weaknesses and resistances to certain types. (Also, this player wanted a Dragon-Type.) He’s based on a Utahraptor, hence the name, and is misspelled to include “Claw” or “Caw.” He’s meant to play team Bard, and uses sound moves. As for personality, he's a bit of a birdbrain who enjoys fighting. Not maliciously; it’s just fun, again acting like a new DND player who’s more interested in combat than role playing.

The idea with the personalities was that each Pokémon was supposed to start out like a rookie DND player on their first campaign. Not knowing how to play their class, being uncomfortable acting in front of a group, leaning too hard into your role without bending, or just fighting everything you see without diplomacy. It felt like a fun extra layer to each of these Pokémon that tied them just as much into the DND side of things as the Pokémon.

=====

Back to our story, after being briefly detained (mostly as an excuse to give the players time to introduce themselves to each other, something my DMs have struggled with), they meet Professor(-in-training) Bianca. The four Pokémon had been found by Silph Co., and had decided to donate them to the Unovan Pokémon Research Lab. However, after seeing the Pokémon interacting with these people, Bianca decides to give them up instead. "Pokémon should be with people," after all.

I had three side quests set up following this (after they all go to the DMV to get their Trainer's licenses). The first was a general "there's wild Pokémon here" quest where they could train and catch things. There was a sale at the mall where they could get some cheap held items and have their first trainer battle, and an event at the fisher's market where they could win some free items and would lead into their first dungeon.

The dungeon was what I was hoping they would pick, and would have them chase a group of Poipole through a warehouse, with them having different battles if they chose to enter from the front or the back. After defeating them, the Poipole would be sucked through a spontaneously generating Ultra Wormhole, with a high enough perception check revealing a strange laugh, or on a 20 have them catch a glimpse of a grey Charizard O_O

From there it was a matter of coming up with (or possibly recycling unused) side-quests until we reached the point where the Starters were about to evolve. I had a few things planned; introductions to a few reoccurring NPCs, a field trip to the local museum where they would be able to catch a Yamask (and possibly learn something about the origins of their Starters), and a raid battle against a group of Onix who would recur through the campaign.

The end of Phase 1 would come about with another dungeon. In the middle of the night, Ethan and Arthur would be awoken by their Pokémon to a group of Durant having busted through the floor of the dorm and raiding their kitchen. Easily driving them off, their Pokémon would encourage them to pursue. Later, full party in toe, the four of them would explore the Duranthill. There would be a number of possible encounters, but only one mandatory fight before reaching the depths. In said encounter, while being surrounded by a group of Durant, they would receive unexpected help from this Pokémon:

With some interpretation, they would discover that this Princess Durant was afraid for the sake of her colony. A new queen had taken up residence there, and was commanding the Durant to attack the surface and steal food for her. With additional party member in toe, they would descend further with better direction, eventually discovering the lair of the Queen Durant...

[sidecarghost]

My Reaction to Destiel in Spn 15x18 to 15x20

Notes: this will contain spoilers for up to series finale 15x20.

I am in LGBTQ+, and this is my personal opinion on the treatment of Destiel, Dean, and Castiel in episodes 15x18-15x20. The LGBTQ+ community is complex and varied, just like any community, so I do not intend for my views to be seen as representative. I think any reaction is just as valid as mine.

Castiel’s Declaration and Dean’s Response

I personally thought Misha Collins’ performance of Castiel’s declaration of love was earnest and authentic. It was beautiful, and I loved every word of it. What bothered me about 15x18 was Dean not reciprocating. I understand that love doesn’t always work out, but this is a LGBTQ+ relationship. There are so few LGBTQ+ relationships on tv, so it’s difficult to understand why anyone would see the need to add an unfulfilled LGBTQ+ relationship that leaves the queer character unloved. LGBTQ+ are just as worthy to be loved as cishet. Before this viewers could use their imagination, but now it’s pretty final that Dean never thought of Cas as more than a friend, and that Dean is vaguely to deeply disturbed by his BFF being in love with him.

I think 15x20 tried to firmly establish Dean as cishet (retconning any prior subtextual queer coding) by having Dean show more affection to his car joining him in Heaven then he had to his LGBTQ+ friend near death. I hate that Dean is so cold to Cas during that declaration scene, and then no other insight into Dean’s feelings is ever shown. So we can only infer Dean’s feelings from that scene and the reaction reads confused, disturbed, shocked, and disbelieving. And I feel second hand crushed for Castiel. That would not be a happy moment for me at all. Just because Dean doesn’t feel any attraction to Castiel I don’t think that excuses his coldness during the declaration. This was a heartless way to react to a close queer friends admittance to an attraction, and the cold shoulder reaction seems really OOC for Dean.

Dean is typically much more sensitive about other people’s feelings. I know he is often painted as tough and unfeeling, but that’s really when his own feelings are in question. Usually he seems very in tune when someone else needs emotional support, and here he is just like mentally checking out. Dean appears to be thinking “Oh my BFF is confessing his love, I will just gawk at him like he is some kind of crazy.” Then Dean’s last words to Castiel are “Don’t do this, Cas,” because he’d like his final message to be invalidating. And then there is HUGE problem that Dean was so disturbed by Cas’s declaration that he never mentions it over the course of 15x19 and 15x20. Even though his friend gave his life for him.

Bad Representation more Harmful than No Representtion

I could be wrong, but I feel like the inclusion of Destiel this late in the game just to make it unrequited was malicious. And that’s because Destiel is a big thing for fandom and especially LGBTQ+ in fandom. Even non-Spn fandom LGBTQ+ know all about Destiel. I never dreamed the ship would go canon, and that was fine because the show could play out and I could read and write fic. Destiel was a fun ship, because the characters had wonderful development from the show, and the actors had great chemistry and were good looking and talented. Dean and Cas were complex and multi-dimensional and ready to run a coffeehouse or become pop star wannabes in a televised singing contest.

The show never told fans Dean and Cas wouldn’t love each other, so it was so easy for me to imagine they would love each other. That has changed since I watched the finale. I personally can’t ship Destiel anymore because all I remember now is the angel giving the hunter his heart, and Dean being so cold and uncaring. Dean stays so far away from Cas like he can’t stand to be close to him. When the two characters used to be in each other’s personal space all the time. It’s like the show wanted me to know how wrong I was to ever read a romance there. As though I had personally offended Dean Winchester. I always thought Dean could be bi, but now he is canon cishet to me. Because if he was going to be attracted to a guy it’d be Cas, because he is the most badass character on show. I’m okay with explanation that Dean was shell shocked in 15x18, but Dean’s continued indifference in 15x20 makes it more likely to me that the show intended for Dean to just not feel that way about Cas.

LGBTQ+ Character Erased

The show ended 10 days ago, but many LGBTQ+ spn fandom members are still reeling from Castiel’s erasure from the story as soon as he came out. There was so much hope that the show was giving LGBTQ+ fandom a ship they never expected in 15x18. The way everything seemed to signal that Dean and Cas would be brought back together in 15x20. And theories abounded on possible scenarios. My personal favorite was Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty in 15x20 as a reverse of Castiel rescuing Dean from Hell in 4x01. This felt historic to see an actual fandom mlm ship finally get validated on the show, like LGBTQ+ were being seen and told we were just as valid as cishet by the show we loved.

But in the end, the LGBTQ+ relationship was just a tease. A queer angel declared his love and died. Then Dean died so he’d never get chance to process his feelings (if he had any). Dean and the viewers learned Cas had been saved, but Dean never bothered to pray to Cas or make any other attempt to reconnect with him. Had Cas escaped before Dean’s death? Had Cas just let Dean die? We never find out. Whether intentional or not, Castiel no longer had any significance in the life or death of the man he loved so strongly. If you related to Cas the exemption was a gut punch. I saw Cas as important and he was my voice and my story, and then 15x20 had Castiel as unimportant to the story and he was silenced.

The Bury your Gay trope

Cas had come out, and now his last scene was his death. Castiel was written out of the show, and no one seemed willing to give him more than a passing thought. The series regular and reoccurring character of 12 years was treated like he was never very important to Dean or Sam. This wasn’t historic, this is the “bury your gay” trope and a real problem for LGBTQ+ representation in movies and shows.

Negative impact of teasing LGBTQ+ romance in movies and shows

15x18 didn’t just feature Cas coming out, his coming out could have been handled just like Chuck’s in season 11 by dialogue stating he liked guys too. Castiel’s coming out was part of a declaration of love to his best friend. This teased a possible LGBTQ+ romance between two male leads with no intention of follow through. Heteronormative fans can state my perspective was invalid, but I’d like to challenge them to see LGBTQ+ as just as valid and normal as cishet romance.

If unintentional:

this was insensitive and bad representation

If intentional:

at best queer baiting (Dean was cishet so any fans that thought reciprocation was possible were wrong. Never mind all the subtextual queer coding of Dean that non-heteronormative viewers had observed.)

at worst outright homophobia (if you read Dean as a closeted bisexual that is fridged before he has chance to come out)

The Intention of C* Spn?

I have to wonder what the LGBTQ+ in Spn fandom ever did to make the show runners so mad at us. I would really like to get the perspective of the show runners, because without that, it is just too easy to believe the worst.

Perceiving the Finale Message of We don’t Belong

And the worst is heart wrenching. The marginalized members of fandom that related to the outcast angel were excluded from the Winchester’s ending. Even though we cared about them so much over the years. Many members of fandom had found families, and were validated by the reoccurring theme that family doesn’t end in blood.

But the finale retconned that message. Castiel was queer, and he was erased. He wasn’t a part of Sam and Dean’s ending. Fandom that related to Castiel could see our affection for the brothers wasn’t reciprocated. We just helped when we were useful but in the end unworthy of love. Family actually did end in blood, and we were naive for believing otherwise.

Spn queer baited LGBTQ+ one last time to drive up viewership, so the marginalized part of the audience could bear witness to Castiel’s exclusion from the Winchester’s finale. We never belonged. This wasn’t our story. This was the story of cishet white brothers, Sam and Dean, that were the product of their cishet white parents, John and Mary, that lived up the road in their Heaven. The queer angel of the lord was not going to intrude in their story any longer, despite his devotion to them over the past 12 years. We didn’t belong, because Castiel didn’t belong.

Other Views are Valid

I just want to reiterate that everything I’m saying is just my own opinion. If other LGBTQ+ thought the episodes were perfect that is also very valid. If you are not a LGBTQ+ then I appreciate your support, and ask that you check any biases before disagreeing with my opinion. Cishet will never be made to feel marginalized, inferior, or abnormal because of their sexuality or gender. And if you want to save LGBTQ+ lives you can try to change your view to see queer as normal and become a LGBTQ+ ally.

TLDR;

Misha’s performance was amazing. Bobo Beren’s writing was brilliant. After 15x18, the romance was like a puzzle that had all the pieces carefully together except the last one. Then 15x20 took that beautiful, nearly complete puzzle and dumped it in a metal trash bin, soaked it in lighter fluid, and burned it to ash. I blame the showrunners. They should never have had a LGBTQ+ come out to have his love unrequited, die, and then get erased from the story. Bad representation is worse than no representation.