#this happens when I get desperate for migraine remedies

[area51-escapee]

I hate when I’m having a problem so I go to the internet to find a solution for that problem and most of the solutions on the list are just “don’t let the problem start to begin with”

[jackles010378]

Instant Relief......

When a migraine hits you and you've ran out of your medication, Jensen knows exactly how to help relieve the pain 😏

(Jensen Ackles x you)

(Small amount of Smut so over 18s only please 🔞‼️)

You felt it coming on all day. You're lucky enough to be able to work from home as you're a freelance photographer.

Raiding the bathroom for your medication you let out a sigh of frustration. You had run out. It was late at night so nowhere would be open now. Shooting your boyfriend a quick text you turned your phone off, got changed into your pjs and crawled into bed. Turning off every light and putting your eye mask on you tried desperately to try and get to sleep.

Jensen arrived home and threw his bags on the floor by the door after returning from the convention he had just attended. You had been invited to go along with him but couldn't because you were commissioned to take pictures at a wedding all weekend.

It was late and all Jensen wanted to do was find you and wrap you up in his arms. He expected to find you working in your light room. He loved how passionate you were about photography. But when he didn't find you there, he went in search of you.

Walking down the hall towards your shared bedroom he heard a light moan. He opened the door to see you lying on the bed in the pitch black with your eye mask on. You had heard the door open and let out a sigh " I swear to god if you're a burglar I'm so not in the mood for this shit right now" Jensen let out a small chuckle at your response, which made you sit up slowly and remove the mask partially from your eyes.

"hey sweetheart you okay?" Jensen asked walking towards you. You didn't expect him home till the following morning, so you were pleasantly surprised when you heard his voice and let out a sigh of relief. Pulling up the eye mask you squinted at Jensen. He could see you were hurting. "hey baby, you got one of your headaches again, you want me to get your meds for you?" Jensen asked as he went to stand to go to the bathroom. You pulled on his arm and told him you had run out so you were trying to sleep it off, but you were having a hard time getting to sleep.

Jensen pulled you into a side hug and a thought came to him. You felt and heard him chuckle slightly "you know y/n, I have read something somewhere about different ways of getting rid of migraines that don't involve taking tablets, and it could be fun for us both", you looked up into his emerald eyes and noticed the playful smirk on his face. "Oh yeah, what would that be Mr. Ackles" you replied to him biting your lip. That always did things to him, you biting your lip. "Ok, so hear me out before you say no" you placed a finger on his luscious lips to silence him "when do I ever say no to you" you asked as you kissed his cheek.

You still had the eye mask resting on your forehead, Jensen reached up and pulled it back over your eyes.

For a moment you thought he was going to leave you alone when you felt him guide you to lie back down and he walked away from the bed. All he did was shut the door.

You were both in complete darkness now. With all your other senses heightened you felt a rush move through your body as you heard Jensen walking back over to you.

The bed dipped besides you indicating he was now sitting right by you. Jensen gently kissed you. You hummed into the kiss, sliding your hands around his neck as your tongues fought against each other. Jensen was always gentle with you, and you loved him for it.

His hand slowly made its way down your body until it reached your pajama bottoms. Your breathing increased with the anticipation of what you knew was about to happen. Finding his way to your sweet spot you gasped as his finger started to massage your clit slowly.

"They say an orgasm is a natural remedy for pain relief, shall we see if it works darlin" he whispered to you, a small smirk playing on his face. You could feel the small knot starting to burn in the pit of your stomach. You nodded in return, to which Jensen responded by inserting a finger inside of you.

Your back arched as his finger pumped in and out of you his thumb now circling your sensitive bud. He inserted a second finger to your surprise. You could feel your release sneaking up on you, and Jensen could feel it as your walls were pulsating around his fingers.

Jensen was now lying close by your side, pumping his fingers into you as his thumb picked up its pace circling faster trying to get you the release you needed. His other hand finds its way under your pajama top to find your breasts, massaging them both. He lent over you and kissed your cheek, then your nose, then your lips. He made his way down to your neck and sucked the sensitive part behind your ear that one spot that drove you wild and he knew it. That's all it took for you to be pushed over the edge. Jensen didn't stop pumping his fingers until you rode your orgasm out.

As your breathing returned to normal Jensen pulled your eye mask off carefully and kissed both of your eyes. He turned the bedside lamp on and turned back to you.

You opened your eyes slowly meeting his gorgeous green orbs, oh how you could stare at those eyes for the rest of your life. "Hey beautiful" he said to you pecking your lips, "hey yourself handsome" you said back pulling him back in for another kiss. "So, how did we do. Has the migraine gone or do you still have some pain" Jensen asked with a playful look on his face.

You leant up on your arm squinting at him "well, as much as that has relieved some of the pain, there is still a dull ache just behind my eyes, do you think we could er, you know do anything to get rid of it permanently?" Biting your lip again, that's all it took for Jensen to hover above you kissing you deeply and hungrily "oh sweetheart I could think of quite a few things we can do" you laughed as Jensen ravaged your neck and then your collarbone "am I glad you came home early" you told him "oh me too gorgeous, I missed you so much" "I missed you too Jensen, I love you baby" "love you too sweetheart". You reached over to turn the light off again but Jensen stopped you "leave it on, I wanna see that beautiful face of yours when I make you come again and again and again" he said to you between kisses.

That night Jensen managed to get rid of the migraine many times, and you were very grateful for him. You even considered ditching the medication now you found a new and much more fun way to relieve the pain!

TAGLIST: @k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @nescavaneck

[vertanvertan]

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[ktarsims]

Updates... life, sims, etc.

So, where to start here. I’ve been pretty overwhelmed the last couple of weeks. 

TLDR: I’ve missed at least three days of work in the last 2 weeks, had migraines and sciatica episodes, and my mother’s been in the hospital a couple of times for... serious issues that should never have happened in the first place and were mostly her own fault. In the middle of that, Error 12 cropped up again in my game, rendering me unable to save anything, so instead of playing to relax I’ve been crying in frustration over what’s causing problems THIS time.

End result: Mom will be ok. Tonight I was finally able to save my game again, thank you Nraas and Master Controller. More details under the cut... since this might get long.

A little context is needed to understand the issues with my Mom. First, she’s not local to me, she’s too far away for me to really go be on the spot unless I take a substantial amount of time off of work. Also, without going too much into weird family relationship dynamics, let’s just simplify it with: Mom’s a bit paranoid about doctors, gets waaaay too into some of the things she finds on the internet (NOT Q-ANON, thank the universe), and she’s really stubborn and I’m about the only person she’ll actually listen to.

So apparently last summer... yes... more than six months ago, she injured her leg. I still don’t know which leg, or what the original injury was. Barked her shin on something, I believe. Anyways, the injury got infected... but she refused to go to the doctor. She kept trying to treat it with home remedies. -_-; Multiple people tried to convince her to go to the doctor, but she kept refusing. Finally, about 3 weeks ago, she went to the doctor... who, of course, decided to try a simple dose of antibiotics first. However, since the infection had been going on for so long, a simple dose of antibiotics was insufficient and over the next week it got so bad she could hardly move. This is where I come into the story, as my brother called me in desperation when he was trying to convince her to go to the emergency room. I knew nothing about this before then.

The injury was bad enough they had to do an X-ray to make sure the bone wasn’t infected. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she came decently close to losing her leg with her stubborn refusal to go to a doctor. I had to talk to her to convince her to get the X-ray, too. She basically fights with everyone else, the doctors, the nurses, my brother... *sigh* Fortunately, the bone was NOT infected, and the doctors expect her to recover... though it may take a while.

Then this last week she had a minor heart attack, and they eventually discovered that she had blood clots in her lungs. Of course, a very common cause of blood clots is... sedentary lifestyle and not walking enough or moving around enough. And what has she been doing increasingly less over the last six months thanks to her leg injury? >_<;; This last week I was on the phone with her pretty much every day trying to keep her calm and cooperative while the doctors did all the tests and got her onto blood thinners to dissolve the clots.

Edit: To add a note... that even AFTER all of this, she keeps trying to come up with reasons why all of this is all the fault of the Doctors and Nurses and of course, nothing to do with her choices at all. *head-desk* I say ‘trying’ because I keep reminding her why, actually, it’s probably all HER fault. Once she finally got out and got home and was feeling a bit better she had the dubious honor of hearing me swear at her for the first time ever as I chewed her out for refusing to go to the doctor for over six F******* months. I told her, in the future... if you get an infection... GO. TO. THE. DOCTOR. Also, stop arguing so much with my brother, he’s doing his best to look after you, y’know.

*sigh* So that’s my mom. I’d also been dealing with some frustrations at work, so with the added stress, I just overloaded and had to take some time off.

Next... Error 12 has been the bane of my Sims game for ages now. I thought I had conquered it once and for all when I used Regul’s Save Cleaner on my save and dropped it in size to less than 600mb. Unfortunately, Error 12 is about the RAM usage of the game... not the size of the save file. =/ I tried innumerable things... including some possibly sketchy things... in the aim of preserving my game, but nothing was working. Then the game also started crashing when trying to save instead of merely erroring out. D= 

You know all the things people normally suggest for this type of thing? Mostly they have never worked for me. I’ve spent HOURS in the past deleting things from inventories, removing most of the books from households, deleting all but a very few memories... to no avail whatsoever. I spent hours this last weekend trying various other things also to no avail.

On the assumption that it MUST be some mods or CC that were causing me problems, I was about to embark on an epic project to use Process Monitor in small batches on every mod and item of CC I have to try and figure out what was causing the RAM spikes when saving the game. (During gameplay, it never spiked above 3k in task manager’s memory column, and the danger area is usually around 3.4-3.7k)

On a whim, because I’d never done it before and only recently learned about it, I decided to try using Nraas’s Master Controller ‘Reset Everything’ option. The name sounds intimidating, but it doesn’t actually interfere with your sims opportunities, current actions, relationships, etc... the description on their site says it rebuilds all objects and sims ‘from the ground up’ and... let me just quote this, “ This command is intended to clear recurring error conditions, help solve gameplay issues and can help prevent ongoing game save corruption if run every few sim weeks or so.” And I’d never used it, because I didn’t really know it existed or what it did.

Well, after running reset everything... on my 23, 305 objects. <- Geeze, that’s a lot.... I was able to successfully save my game. Thanks again Nraas wizards...

[koutarousangel]

━ the best medicine.

prompt : you tried everything to get rid of the ache residing in your head, so you attempt to turn to kenma for help.

genre : fluffy fluff <3 

warning(s) : mentions of migraines and medication

music suggestion : moonlight - ariana grande

author’s note : this one’s shorter than what i usually do BUT it’s cute and i guess it can be filed under drabbles so s’ALL GOOD

contrary to what many people thought, kenma was an incredibly thoughtful and observational, meaning that the minute that something was off with the way that you were acting, he’d know.

he wouldn’t say anything, not because he had his doubts about his hunch, but because he preferred if you came to terms with it and went to talk to him about it.

even though he’d been focused on his work, it being an incredibly important day for the stock market and him having his stream scheduled for later in the day, kenma had picked up on how you were grimacing at your laptop when he’d passed by you to grab a snack.

and how you practically came close to tears the moment he rested his head at the base of the back of your neck and gently massaged underneath your ear with his thumb.

you had a headache, and a bad one at that.

kenma tried telling you to get some rest, but he knew you were stubborn and he wasn’t one to pester you.

he’d be there whenever you wanted him to be.

the steady thrum in your head was purely unbearable, as if there was someone or something pressing on either side of your head, unrelenting. 

nothing the internet suggested helped; migraine pills seemed to have worked for a little bit, before the headache just returned with a vengeance, you’d tried both a cold pack and a hot compress because you couldn’t figure out where the headache was originating from, limiting your caffeine intake made you grumpy and drinking more water only made you frequent the bathroom more.

in short, desperate for this migraine to go away and pissed off that you didn’t know how you were going to do that.

your boyfriend’s stream played through your laptop’s speaker, the sound of his voice as he spoke to his viewers being the only thing that wasn’t annoying you at the moment. kenma had told you time and time again that you were able to go into the room where he streamed, but you never wanted to be a disturbance to him.

you smiled as you heard his laughter at whatever his viewers were saying in the chat, but the twinge of pain at the side of your head caused your smile to falter.

with a soft sigh, you decided to close your work, knowing that there wasn’t really a point to trying to get things done while your brain was fighting against you doing just that. you closed all the tabs in your browser except for twitch and let adoration fill your eyes as you rested your head on your arms, praying that the solution for all of this was as simple as resting.

“i’m gonna end the stream there guys. sorry that it’s a bit shorter than i usually do but since we’re doing a twenty-four hour stream next time, i want to take some time for myself. thank you so much for joining, you guys are always great.” kenma gave a two finger salute as a sign off, before turning off the stream and standing from his seat, stretching his arms overhead.

it worried him that despite your headache, you hadn’t come to see him in the room, but he knew your stance on not wanting to interrupt the stream, even if he’d assured you that you wouldn’t a million times over.

with his empty coffee cup in one hand and phone in the other, he made his way to the kitchen, scrolling through the stock market updates, before switching over to his email app.  

all thoughts of work dissipated the moment he set foot in the kitchen and he saw you, eyebrows knitted together and jaw tense in your sleep. kenma let out a small sigh and rinsed out the coffee mug and set it in the sink, wiping his hands and making his way over to you.

“baby?” he whispered softly, kneeling next to you and placing his hand on the back of your neck, thumb gently tracing circles in attempt to wake you from your nap. any other situation and he would’ve let you rest, but the position that you were sitting in would only cause you to wake up with an even worse headache, and the nap you were in didn’t seem like a very pleasant one.

a small whimper fell past your lips as your eyes fluttered open and you came face to face with your very concerned boyfriend, “baby, you need to get some proper rest,” kenma murmured softly as he stood, gently tugging on your hand to make you stand up. 

in a sleepy, painful haze, you stood, only letting out a groan at the forced movement, but following as your boyfriend led you into your bedroom, taking a seat on the bed and tugging you onto his lap, arms encircling your waist as you wrapped your legs around his hips and rested your head on his shoulder, hand finding its place on the back of your neck once more, making you feel grateful for the warmth that spread through his fingers.

with your cheek pressed against his shoulder, you peered up at him through your eyelashes, the strain on your eyes causing you to grimace and them flutter to a close, “stream was good bubs,” you murmured, words coming out a bit muffled due to your squished cheek, “that game looks fun.”

kenma let out a gentle hum at your words, and you could feel him nod before he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “we’ll play it sometime,” he spoke, continuing to massage your neck gently, wanting nothing more than to take away the ache that was plaguing your head. 

“did you drink water?” you nodded at the question, “take some meds?” another nod that made him sigh, “did you sleep well last night?” this time your nod was hesitant but still happened, “bubs, i felt you get up twice last night and that was after i stopped playing, so it was late.”

you huffed, cursing how observational he was, “the headache had already started then though… not getting enough sleep just made it worse,” the man hummed at your words, nodding in agreement and pressing another kiss to the side of your head, “don’t you need to get clips for your next youtube video?” 

kenma shrugged his free shoulder, and jutted his lip out slightly, “i can take a night off, this is more important,” he murmured softly, making you peer through one of your eyes and smile up in adoration at him.

at one point, he felt you get heavier on his shoulder, a telltale sign that you were relaxing and falling asleep; reaching over to the bedside table, he took his nintendo switch into his hands, grimacing slightly as the startup sound was too loud, afraid that it would jostle you out of your slumber, but instead you hummed softly, “can you play animal crossing? i like the sounds,” you mumbled sleepily and how could he turn down such a request?

turns out, none of the remedies that were offered online worked until you were in this position, because as sleep took over your body, the headache began to dull and there was no longer a pinch between your eyebrows or tension in your jaw, just love and a sense of peace settled in your heart.

[mourntheantagonist]

Pain Reliever

read on ao3

Billy didn’t get headaches.

It wasn’t a minor dull pain that encompassed his skull. It wasn’t something that could easily be cured with a Tylenol or whatever off brand alternative was in their medicine cabinet. It wasn’t something that came sporadically. Every once and a while having an ache brought on by a various stressor.

No. Billy got migraines.

Migraines that compared to a stabbing pain localized on one area around his head. Behind the eye. Back of the head. His temple. All the pain of a headache centralized and focused and absolute hell. A pain so strong that he couldn’t open his eyes, any light at all being too bright against his blue eyes. Loud sounds ringing and bouncing off his skull making it worse and worse. Strong smells invading his sinuses and traveling into his brain creating a fiery burn. And nothing helped. No medication easing the pain. No dietary restrictions or vitamin supplements or even fucking meditation doing anything at all.

The pain could last for days. Even though sleep had seemed to be the only remedy, sometimes even that didn’t work. Sometimes he’d wake up in the morning and the morning sun would set fire to his eyes.

Oftentimes the pain would get so severe he would vomit up the entire contents of his stomach, until he was spitting up bile and dry heaving into the toilet bowl.

He’s had them since he was a kid. His father did too. Yet another undesirable trait he inherited from his father. But back then they weren’t so severe. He could generally push himself through the pain. The vomiting only ever happened on rare occasions. And sleep always got them to go away. He never woke up with a headache.

But then Starcourt had to happen. And he was in a coma for two months. And when he woke up underneath the fluorescent light bouncing off the white walls of his hospital room, his head pounded against his skull, like it was trying to escape from his body. He could hear his heartbeat echo in his head. His vision blurred and the incessant beeping of his heart monitor sending him into a craze. He slammed his hands to his ears and squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he could and his whole body tensed.

Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.

The pain was so bad that he didn’t even recognize the gaping hole in his chest that was still healing over. Broken ribs that once punctured lungs no longer being the thing preventing him from breathing easy. The disorienting pulsating and the overwhelming nausea now being the vice.

And when he succumbed to the nausea, when he let his stomach churn and his throat open up, there was nothing that came out. just a pathetic glob of yellow bile and air. The heaving sensation finally caused him to recognize the pain in his chest where he had been skewered.

Billy wasn’t supposed to survive. When people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, or what his plans were after high school. He’d tell you he didn’t know. Because he could never envision a life for himself past the age of eighteen. Couldn’t picture a life where it wasn’t his father who was standing over him as he took his final breaths. He definitely couldn’t picture a life where instead of his dad, it was a massive fleshy monster. And he most certainly would not have expected him to fucking survive it.

It wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to die tragically. With everyone around him wondering what they could have done to prevent it, but never actually caring that he died. Only giving a shit about what it did to their conscience.

It was surprising that he was still alive. That whatever greater power there was out there had decided that it wasn’t time. It went against everything he believed for himself. It was a shock. But nothing could have prepared him for the shock of a lifetime that was Steve Harrington sitting at his bedside holding his fucking hand as he heaved into a plastic container.

Not a single thing made sense when he woke up. When he closed his eyes on the floor of that mall, he thought he’d died the villain he was destined to be. He never expected to wake up a hero in the eyes of everyone. Especially Steve Harrington. The guy he hurt without remorse. The guy who saw right through everything he did. Billy wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t a good guy. That should be so obvious. Yet here he was, in a room surrounded by bouquets from strangers with cards reading get well soon and Steve fucking Harrington fighting back tears because Billy was awake.

Apparently Steve had been there every day. Max made him promise to take care of him, which he very reluctantly agreed to. He was doing it for Max. At least that was the original intention.

Steve started to find his own sense of purpose by seeing Billy every day. Watching as his body slowly healed itself. Steve’s life had hit such a roadblock. Working a dead end job with no outlook on his future. Seeing Billy get better gave him something to look forward to. There was a light at the end of this tunnel. And he wasn’t going to miss it.

Steve wasn’t prepared for what he was getting himself into. Wasn’t prepared to understand the full extent of Billy’s injuries and how previous injuries caused complications. He wasn’t prepared to learn who had inflicted those injuries. He wasn’t prepared to see cigarette burns constellating his upper thighs. He wasn’t prepared to wonder whether they were self inflicted or not.

Over the weeks he just kept learning and learning and sympathizing. So quickly he realized he needed to be there when Billy woke up. Needed to be there to hold his hand when his two month long dream finally came to an end. Needed to bring him back to reality when flashes of the mind flayer and his father flicked in his head.

And nothing made sense after that. Somehow high school rivals turned into friends and then turned into more. Somehow Billy found himself waking up next to Steve in his queen sized bed and not in his double on Cherry lane.

Well, actually. One thing made perfect sense to Billy.

Because when he went to bed with a migraine, he woke up with one as well. Sleep no longer serving as a reset button. Each morning waking up to the disappointment that the pounding in his head remained. That the light was too bright. That Steve breathed too loud. That Steve’s cologne smelled too strong. It made sense. It made sense because this was why he got to live. This was his punishment. Because Billy didn’t get nice things without some cost.

And it sometimes made Billy resent Steve. Resent him for carrying him out of the mall, rather than leaving him to die. Resent him for making Billy fall in love with him. Resent him for giving him something to lose.

But then Steve would be there, holding his hair as he threw up in the bathroom. He’d be there with a cool washcloth to lay on his forehead. He’d be there to hold him tight to distract him enough from the pain so he’d fall asleep.

But with time they only became more frequent. So much as say the word migraine within a fifty foot radius and it was on.

And when Billy had a migraine. They didn’t have sex.

Steve felt like he’d be using Billy. Because he wouldn’t be into it. The pain so strong that all pleasure washed away. And Steve couldn’t continue with Billy in that state. Letting himself hurt so Steve could feel good.

But it’s been a full week now and it was only getting worse.

And dammit Billy needed to release some of that tension.

So there the two are in a pitch black room. Billy lying on his back with the cloth over his eyes. The only sound is Billy’s patterned breathing. Steve’s hand on his chest as it rises and falls. Trailing down to feel Billy hard in his jeans, whimpering at the touch of Steve’s hand over two layers of fabric.

“I have an idea.” Steve whispers. “Just lay there and relax. I just want to try something.” Steve kisses his forehead gently, like he’s kissing a wound better. If only it could have been that simple.

Steve slowly unbuttons his jeans, struggling slightly due to the lack of an ability to see. This would definitely be more hands on than usual. He maps Billy’s body with his hands, up and down, tracing his fingers along every divet, every curve of muscle. Creating a vivid visual in his mind as he eases Billy jeans and briefs to his knees.

Steve lets his fingers trace around his groin, releasing another whimper out of Billy, and Steve can’t tell if it’s from the pain of his headache or his desperate need to be touched.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” Steve whispers just loud enough for Billy to hear. His face mere inches away from Billy’s cock. Close enough that Billy can feel Steve’s breath hot against his dick.

“Please. Don’t stop.” The pain and desperation clear in his voice.

So Steve goes down, taking the tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue and relishing the taste of pre. Steve can’t see as Billy hands move from his head to the sheets, gripping and pulling at them as his breathing quickens from just the warm touch of Steve’s tongue. His head still throbbing in his ears, a weird feeling deep in stomach that he’s unsure if it’s nausea or not. The warm mouth around his cock serving as a pleasant distraction, but not a perfect one.

He wishes he could see Steve. But it’s dark underneath the cloth and he’s not sure he’d even be able to open his eyes anyway. So he listens intently to Steve’s gasps for air, imprints every sensation he’s feeling that Steve is providing to memory. His toes curl. His fists get tighter. Bites down hard on his lower lip as he groans. A groan that is definitely a cause of pleasure and not pain.

Steve takes Billy in deeper. Slowly bobbing up and down to match the rhythm of Billy’s breathing. Treating his own arousal with the sounds of Billy’s quiet whimpers. Rocking his hips against a pillow as he tries to focus all his attention on making Billy feel good. Making him release the strain.

“Close.” Billy says. It’s barely there and Steve surely wouldn’t have heard it had the room not been so quiet and void of any noise but the sounds of breathing and slow and steady movements on the bed.

Billy’s hips buck upward just before releasing his load directly down Steve’s throat. His orgasm accompanied with a loud moan and a release of a deep breath.

Steve continues to rock his hips against the pillow until he’s finishing into his pants at just the noises coming out of Billy. Noises that are unmistakably from pleasure.

Once he’s come down and reached his senses, Steve climbs his way up the bed until he finds Billy’s face, gently cupping the side of his cheek before planting a kiss to his lips.

“How do you feel?”

The answer. Good. Billy feels good.

The migraine is gone.

As if whatever was infecting his brain was released by the spurt of come shot into Steve’s mouth. Pleasure sensors in his brain activating all at once to override it.

“It’s gone.” Is all he can say. Stunned with the quick turn around. A full week of pain and all it took was Steve’s mouth and it was gone. It felt like he was freed from prison. He takes in the scent of Steve’s cologne with a deep intake of air. The fragrance mixing with Steve’s sweat and sex smell feeling so good in his nose. No burning. Just bliss.

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah. It’s definitely gone.”

Looks like there was a cure after all.

[whump-tr0pes]

HB4-40/Whumtober day 25

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, and Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

~

Content warning: migraine, emesis, death mention, mention of parent killing a child, implied noncon drugging

~

The room was moving slowly around Gavin, but he was lying still. He blinked his eyes open and winced as even the soft light from the crack in the curtains stabbed into his eyes, feeling like a knife directly into his brain. He squinted and groaned softly as his eyes slowly focused on his own hands, bound in front of him and lying on a pillow, and Isaac, lying next to him on his back, his pinky just touching Gavin’s.

Gavin stirred, and froze as the pain behind his left eye pounded harder. His stomach churned. He twisted his hands against the rope and winced as it bit into his skin.

He squinted – why was his left eye so blurry? – and looked at Isaac where he lay. Gavin didn’t want to wake him; he seemed peaceful, relaxed, his mouth open slightly, the muscles of his face soft and loose. Another wave of nausea rolled over him and he squeezed his eyes shut. He gently placed his hand on Isaac’s shoulder.

Isaac jerked awake with a gasp, his eyes darting over the room, his right hand curling into a fist. Gavin collapsed against the pillow with a moan. Isaac found Gavin and froze, then relaxed, all at once.

“Hey,” Isaac said, with a soft smile. His gaze flicked to the rope still around Gavin’s wrists. “Oh, shit,” he murmured, and hesitantly reached out. “Can I—”

“Please,” Gavin breathed. “Don’t… don’t feel good.”

Isaac’s brow furrowed as he fumbled at the knot. “Oh. What… what’s going on?”

“Head hurts,” Gavin gasped, as even the act of talking seemed to make the throbbing behind his eye even worse. “Nauseated. Don’t wanna move.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. Is it…? Did something…?” Isaac’s hands stopped on the rope. “Are you… sure I didn’t hurt you last night, Gavin?”

“Yeah, sure,” Gavin breathed. “Please, just… f-fuck, hurts…”

“I’ll get Finn,” Isaac said, and Gavin sighed with relief as the knot came away. “Maybe they—”

“Just a headache,” Gavin said tightly. He carefully rubbed his wrists where the rope had cut into them, just a little, while he slept. “It’s… it’s just…” Just the movement of his hands was enough to tip the room around him. He heaved forward, leaned off the side of the bed, and vomited into the small trashcan there. Sweat broke out over his skin.

“I’m getting Finn,” Isaac said in a rush, practically leaping off the bed. He opened the door and disappeared down the hallway. Gavin groaned as he slumped with his head hanging off the side of the bed. As the blood rushed to his head, the pounding grew even worse, although Gavin didn’t know how that was possible. He dry heaved once, then retreated back until his head lay against the cool of the mattress. The cool felt good.

“…n’t know what’s wrong,” came Isaac’s voice as he approached their room. “I just woke up and he was—”

“Don’t turn on the light,” Finn said, their voice coming from the doorway.

Thank god for you, Finn. Please, please don’t turn on the light.

“Oh. I… why, is that…?”

“Just… give me a sec.”

Gavin could hear the soft sounds of padded feet on the floor, but quieter than normal, as if… as if Finn was trying to be quiet. Even so, the sound crawled under his skin and made him feel sick with it. The air moved around him as Finn knelt beside the bed.

“Careful, I…” Gavin’s mouth was numb. “I… I puked.”

“It’s fine,” Finn said, their voice barely louder than a whisper. “Ellis has had morning sickness all week. It’s just puke. You woke up like this?”

“Y-yeah,” Gavin mumbled.

“No recent head injuries?”

“Not… recently…” Gavin laughed, once, then moaned as the pain in his head ratcheted up another notch. “Oh, god.”

Finn huffed out a laugh of their own. “Okay, fair enough. Ever had this happen before?”

“No,” Gavin groaned. “Oh, fuck, what’s…?” He pressed his hands against his head, desperate to push away the pain. “What is this?”

“It’s a migraine,” Finn said gently. Gavin flinched as he felt Finn’s cool fingers against his head, carding gently through his damp hair. He groaned and pushed weakly into the touch.

“F-feels good,” Gavin whimpered. “I’m… s-sorry, I… I don’t know what’s… happening…”

“Honestly, I’m surprised we aren’t all having them,” Finn murmured, a smile in their voice. “They’re a really common symptom of stress. And—”

“You’re the ones who were stressed,” Gavin said, weakly. “You’re the ones who were being tortured.”

Finn blew out a slow breath through their lips. Finally, they turned to Isaac and said, “Please explain to your boyfriend what a dumbass he is. I’m going to get some ice. One of the theories about migraines is that they’re caused by a blood vessel in the brain dilating and putting pressure on the surrounding tissue. Ice on the back of the neck can constrict the—”

“Not a dumbass,” Gavin whispered, trying to ignore how his cheeks flushed. Isaac’s boyfriend? If he didn’t feel so fucking… sick…

“Yeah, sure, Gavin,” Finn said gently, and the air moved again as they stood. Their voice faded until it sounded like they were standing outside the door. “I’ll be right back, Isaac. I’ll bring a clean trashcan and clean that one. I could try to get my hands on some rizatriptan, too. A classmate of mine used to take it for her migraines. It works pretty well, from what I hear. If this is gonna be a regular thing—”

“You mean this is gonna happen again?” Isaac whispered. “Finn… he… he doesn’t fucking… Finn, just… just tell me what to do. Okay? Just… tell me what to do. He… he takes care of me, all the goddamned time. Finn, please…”

“Isaac… breathe. It’s a migraine. It sucks, but it isn’t life threatening, and there are medications that treat it. I can ask Edrissa if she knows any herbal remedies. She might—”

“You… you won’t tell her who it’s for, right? I mean…”

Finn laughed, softly. “I won’t let her poison him, Isaac. No, I’ll say it’s for Ellis. She’s been going absolutely bananaballs over that baby. She’d be happy to help.”

A pause. “…okay. I just… Finn, he… he doesn’t deserve this. After everything he did… I mean, yeah, no shit he was stressed, he walked the fucking wire for three weeks in that fucking nightmare mansion, for us. And… this is how he’s repaid?”

“I know. Believe me, I know. We’re all dealing with… various versions of this. Ellis says their morning sickness is way worse than the first two times. I’m pretty sure Tori’s got an ulcer, and Vera’s back pain has been… I mean, yesterday she could barely get out of bed. And… well. You’ve seen Sam. Although they’re getting better every day.”

“Yeah, but… Finn, could… could this be… I don’t know, a result of the head injury I gave him? I mean, that was almost a year ago now, but… could something that long ago be causing it?”

Gavin’s chest ached at the guilt in Isaac’s voice. He wanted to call out to him and tell him no, this wasn’t from the head injury, he was sure of it… but he felt if he raised his voice, his brain would catch fire and come melting out his ears like hot cheese. The thought made him gag.

“I… don’t think so. I mean… yeah, technically, it could be from that, but it’s way, way more likely that it’s from the stress. I mean… don’t tell Ellis I said this, but… I’ll never doubt his place in the family again, because of how much he sacrificed for us. His mother would have skinned him alive if she ever got even a hint that he wasn’t hers, and that he still cared about us. And he did all that anyway. It would have been… much, much easier for him to just go with it, and let her kill us one by one. I mean, she might have still killed him, but she might not. And he would be… I mean, fuck, Isaac, he was… tortured. And the torture he put himself through, lying for us… what he made himself do to you…”

“I know,” Isaac said brokenly. “There’s… no way I could ever thank him enough for what he did for us. For… for me.”

“You have a lifetime to try, Isaac.”

For a moment, the pain faded, pushed right out of Gavin’s head by his shock. He’d hoped they’d let him stay, but there was some small part of him that believed they were only letting him stay until rumors of their survival had faded, and he could be released again with minimal risk. He’d hoped they’d want him, as part of their family. He’d hoped Isaac would let him stay by his side.

The pain rushed back in and Gavin whimpered softly. Finn and Isaac were silent for a moment. The smell of his vomit was making him sick. He pressed his face against the mattress.

“You… you think he’d want me for that long? A lifetime?”

Finn sighed. “You’re both dumbasses. Yes, Isaac, I do. You’re… you’re literally the first person to ever show him what love looks like. You think he took you just for shits and giggles? I mean, for that reason, too, but… I think he wanted to see what it was that made you so special that you’d give yourself up for Sam.”

“I’m not special. Anyone else would have—”

“You are to him, Isaac. And to the rest of us, too, but absolutely to him. Now… let me go get some ice, okay? I can grab the trash can in a sec.”

“No, I… I can do that,” Isaac said, his voice low and gentle. “It’s fine.”

“…okay. Well, I’ll be back. Grab the trashcan from the bathroom.”

“Yeah.”

The voices faded. Gavin floated in the pain, every heartbeat grabbing him and pulling him back down into his body. The room moved slowly around him, the sour smell of his own sick rankling in his nose. There was a rustling, and when Gavin peeled his eyes open, there was a fresh trashcan on the floor beneath him. He sighed and pulled the covers up over his head.

After a long moment, several minutes or several hours, he couldn’t tell, he felt the mattress dip as someone sat next to him. The blanket was drawn back from over his head, and a cool compress settled on the back of his neck. He groaned softly as the cool pushed away the nausea for a moment.

“Thanks, Finn,” he whispered. Then, fingers trailed gently through his hair, and he whined softly. He’d know that touch anywhere. “Isaac,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” Isaac said softly, his hand moving slowly across Gavin’s forehead. “I asked Finn to let me bring you the ice.”

“Mmm,” Gavin moaned, and his eyes slid shut again. “Thank you.” His left eye ran tears into the sheets.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” Isaac whispered. “I… didn’t know what you needed.”

“Neither did I,” Gavin mumbled. “Ice is good, though. And… and you. You’re… good.”

Isaac huffed out a laugh. “Ah. I just brought the ice—”

“But… it feels good. Thank… you.”

Isaac was silent for a moment. “Yeah, Gavin,” he said after a while.

Every heartbeat pounded in Gavin’s head. For a while, the ice helped. Gavin stirred and opened one eye, cringing when the light from the hallway stabbed into his head. “Do you… do you need to do anything else today?” he said weakly.

“I don’t have anything to do but be here with you,” Isaac whispered. “Unless you want me to go.”

“No,” Gavin sighed. “Stay… please?”

Every breath, every second, seemed to move through Gavin in slow motion. He thought back to the headaches he’d had after Isaac put him in the hospital. Those never lasted for very long, because whenever he started complaining of a headache, his mother would give him something that made him sleepy and dizzy, and he’d crawl back to bed and doze until it was over. For the first time since reaching the north, fear sunk into Gavin’s chest that if any of the team got sick – and Finn couldn’t help them – they were hundreds of miles away from the state-of-the-art hospitals that kept him alive when he’d been close to death. He curled into himself and tugged gently on his own hair, desperate for relief.

The compress on the back of his neck began to warm. Gavin whimpered, tears of frustration running from his eyes. He felt trapped in his own head, assaulted on every side by the faint light from the hallway and curtains, and by the sounds of the others somewhere else in the house.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, was a vague memory of another cool hand on his head, a soft kiss in his hair, a low voice, soothing him as he lay in bed. Pain spiked in his head and he shoved the memory away. He didn’t need to think of her, not now.

Isaac’s hand slid down the back of his head and down his neck, under the compress. “Let me get a new one,” he said softly. The mattress bounced slightly as he stood. Gavin lay still as he walked out of the room, although all he wanted to do was to cling to Isaac, beg him to stay. The headache was getting worse.

A moment later, an eternity later, the mattress dipped again.

“Hey,” Isaac’s voice whispered, and Gavin could have sobbed with relief. “I have some tea… try some?”

Gavin moaned and obediently lifted his head. A cup pressed to his lips and he took a sip. It tasted herbal, sweet, with a hint of spice as well. There was a faint sound as Isaac put the cup on the nightstand.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Something Edrissa made,” Isaac murmured. “Tea with peppermint, lavender, ginger, rosemary, and honey. She said those herbs are good for migraine.” He pressed a fresh cold compress to Gavin’s neck.

Gavin moaned weakly. “She… tell her thank you,” he whispered.

“Hm. Maybe someday,” Isaac said. His voice sounded sad. “For right now… that tea is for Ellis, as far as she knows.”

“I hate lying to her,” Gavin whispered. “If she ever finds out, she’ll… she’ll hate me.”

The unspoken words hung in the air between them: she already hates you.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Isaac murmured. “You can tell her once you’re better, if you really want. Right now, let’s just… focus on getting you over this. Finn already called into Burmingham to see if they carry riza— I don’t remember what it’s called. Sounds like they can order it and have it in within a week.”

“Hope I don’t get another migraine before then,” Gavin rasped, and pushed weakly into Isaac’s hands as he stroked his hair.

“Yeah,” Isaac said weakly. “Me… me too.” Isaac’s throat clicked as he swallowed. “Can I… do anything else? For you? I mean… do you need anything else?”

“I just need you,” Gavin whispered, not caring how that sounded. “Can you… can you just… I don’t know. I just want you with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Isaac said gently. His hand moved down to gently massage the back of Gavin’s neck. “Is that… okay?”

“Yeah,” Gavin sighed, and shuddered as another wave of nausea rolled over him. “That’s… that’s good.”

Continued here

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[absolutelynoct]

Could you write something with post-dawn Ignis and chronic pain because of his injuries, with either Prompto or Noct (or both? I don’t know if that’s something you’d write though) forcing him to rest and taking care of him?

[Hello! As a chronic pain sufferer and someone recently plagued with a 5 day migraine last week, I got a lot of inspiration for this response! I made it Promnis cause that’s what came to mind, but I’m not against OT3 or OT4 stuff or anything. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!]

Ignis blinked rapidly, knowing it wouldn’t help him see any. Rather, he hoped that the migraine creeping at the edges of his eyes would go away if he willed it to. The potions, the hi-potions, the elixirs, none of it worked. The medics and doctors that reviewed his case, the ones who determined that his blindness was permanent, said that the migraines would likely be a lifelong battle. The only thing he could do was take something for the pain and wait for it to pass. And while Gladio was busy acting as Noctis’s Shield now that Eos had been restored beyond its former glory, Ignis had little choice but to continue on and just deal with it.

Sighing heavily, Ignis took one of the pain potions that he had specially tailored for these moments, something that took the edge off but didn’t make him dreary or tired. It wasn’t going to be enough to take the pain away, but it would be enough to make it semi-manageable. Maybe. Yet with his migraines came a loss of equilibrium, disorientation, and often confusion. They were all aware that he got them, but very rarely did he have a chance to deal with them.

“Hey Ignis,” Prompto announced as he knocked on his bedroom door in the Citadel and stepped inside. The sound of him knocking on the door was horrible, but the sound of Prompto’s voice wasn’t. It was the only thing, surprisingly, that didn’t make his migraines worse. If anything, it soothed him and alleviated some of the pain. 

“Hello Prompto,” Ignis murmured, reaching for his dark glasses that were meant to hide his scars. “How are you today?”

“Oh no,” Prompto said softly, his voice dropping barely above a whisper. “Another migraine? I’m going to tell Noctis. You can’t keep working through them.”

“I’m quite alright,” Ignis lied as his head throbbed. “This is par for the course, as you know.”

“So?” Prompto replied. Ignis could hear him behind him, taking out his phone and texting something to Noctis. “Just because the pain is something you deal with regularly, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat it seriously. Noctis will understand. Now get back in bed.”

“Are you ordering me around now?” Ignis mused. Nevertheless, he complied, his head aching too much for him to object much more than that. He found his way over to his bed and laid down, letting out a sigh and a groan, cursing himself for having such terrible pain. 

“Take this,” Prompto ordered, startling Ignis as he handed him another pain potion. “I know you don’t take enough. I told Noctis that I’d watch over you until you feel better.”

“I don’t know when that will be, Prom,” Ignis reminded him. He took the potion nevertheless and breathed a small sigh of relief. Prompto was right; he never takes enough of the potion that he so desperately needed. “It could be an hour from now or a week from now. Or never.”

“Welp, looks like you’re stuck with me until then,” Prompto insisted. Ignis felt the pressure next to him as Prompto sat on the bed. “Unless my voice is too much.”

“No,” Ignis replied quickly. He paused a moment, feeling a flush in his cheeks. There had been something unspoken between the two of them for a long time. Ignis thought at one point that he would be able to pursue something with him, but he went blind and decided it was better to leave it be. Yet the feeling never went away. If anything, it only got stronger for him. “Your voice is the only thing that is soothing right now.”

“Well… happy I could help,” Prompto said nervously. There was an awkward silence between them, a long moment of tension, and Ignis felt a moment of pain for an entirely different reason that had nothing to do with his migraine. “You know, Ignis… I don’t mind if you’re blind or if you have pain because of it. I just want to be here for you.”

“Prom…” Ignis thought about how much he needed to just tell him it would never happen, how after all these years it was better for Prompto to move on and find someone else. He couldn’t get the words out though, his heart aching too much at the thought of Prompto falling in love and living a life without him. “May I see your face?”

“Sure.” Prompto’s voice was soft and longing, and Ignis felt his heart aching over his migraine. He expected to sit up and reach out to touch Prompto’s face, to feel his features and see what he is feeling through touch. Instead, Prompto straddled his waist before he could sit up, making Ignis’s heart skip several beats a time. 

Slowly, Ignis reached out, his hands touching Prompto’s petite but toned torso. At first he considered pulling his hands away, but then he acknowledged that he wanted this and traced the curves of Prompto’s body up to his neck. Prompto leaned over so Ignis didn’t have to sit up, and he felt the hair on his chin, the smoothness of his skin, the tiredness reflecting under his eyes. He felt the pain in the way Prompto furrowed his brow. When he touched his lips, he felt them downcast in a worried pout. 

Ignis felt Prompto’s breath exhaling from his lips, just a few inches from his. There was something about this moment, knowing that Prompto was there to care for him through the pain, that Ignis couldn’t ignore. Not anymore. Prompto didn’t deserve that; not after he had helped him so much. 

Gently, he reached out and pressed his hand against Prompto’s cheek, leaning upwards. He kissed Prompto, hoping that he didn’t gravely misread the nature of their relationship. When he felt Prompto deepen the kiss, he knew that there was no going back, and he took in the flavor of sunshine and beauty on Prompto’s lips. It was everything he imagined it would be and more, and bursts of yellow sunshine and Prompto’s bright smile came to his mind. 

“I love you,” Ignis admitted finally. “I’m sorry it’s taken so long to admit it.”

“I love you too, Ignis,” Prompto replied, his voice both bright and soft. “I know you didn’t want to burden me, but I hope you can believe me when I say you’re not a burden. You’re someone I want to help. Because I love you.”

“Forgive me for being a stubborn fool,” Ignis replied remorsefully. “I just realized something. My migraine is gone. I suppose your kiss broke the spell.”

“Well I guess that seals the deal then,” Prompto mused, making Ignis smile. “We finally found the remedy.”

Ignis was more than pleased when Prompto proceeded to kiss him, attempting to keep any and all pain at bay.

[twilighteve-writes]

Feather One Divided -- Chapter 11: The Pull

Feather one divided, fate’s ties frayed,

Fractured and wedged, scattered and gone.

After sharing an unsettling dream of Felldrake, the Three Caballeros decided to join back together with Xandra to form a stronghold in case the sorcerer returned. But Felldrake’s plans proved to be bigger than they expected, and when he struck so close to home, it was all Donald could do to keep his family – and himself – together.

(Also available in AO3)

(Chapter 1)

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A cutlass, a broadsword, and a spear united.

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“Home.”

Della tilted her head at Donald’s answer, but it was Uncle Scrooge who voiced their thoughts. “What do you mean, home?”

Donald turned to them, eerily slow. For some reason, Panchito and José both mirrored the motion in the exact same time, exact same speed, exact same direction, and Della was suddenly regretful of the times she and Donald decided to pull the creepy twins prank on anyone they deemed funny enough to pull that one on. It was fun when she was doing it; it really wasn’t fun to see it happen before her eyes. The golden glow really didn’t help matters, either.

“It’s home,” Donald said, voice almost toneless. It was still eerily clear instead of the scratchy voice he normally spoke in. “It’s in Duckburg.”

Uncle Scrooge rolled his eyes. “Of course it is,” he grumbled. “We’re getting back, then.”

“Where exactly is the Well, though?” Della asked. “Do you have a more specific location?”

Donald’s eyelids fluttered. “The sea,” he said after a beat. “By the Money Bin.”

“Okay, great, thanks, can you drop the seeds and drop the whole gold glitter thing now?” Della asked again.

Donald tilted his head the other way; José and Panchito both mirrored the motion. They had to be doing that on purpose.

Xandra was the one who answered. “I don’t think he can drop it.”

Della blinked at her. “Wait, what? Why? He just needs to drop the seeds.”

“It’s not that simple,” Xandra said. “If he drops it, the connection breaks. And we don’t know if the Well is the type of location that changes every time it wants to move or not.”

Magica hummed with interest. “Is that not the sort of magic that is less draining if you just leave them be? Leaving him be for now might be better for him in the long run than cutting it off prematurely.”

“Yeah,” Xandra confirmed reluctantly. “I don’t like it either, but… I guess if we can let them rest while Donald is still doing this and maybe have them use the Orb of Remedies at the same time, it will lessen the load.”

“Is there really nothing else we can do?” Della asked just as Uncle Scrooge began rummaging for the orb.

“Not really, no,” Xandra said, shaking her head. “You can probably connect to his magic to help feed the need for the connection to keep going, but it’ll drain you and you need to pilot the plane. Also it’s really draining, I don’t recommend it for you.” She glanced at the three Caballeros. “I guess… I can supply them with my magic, too, but I don’t think mortals can survive a deity’s pure magic.”

“Put that as a last resort, then,” Uncle Scrooge said, placing the orb in Donald’s hand. His fingers curled around the orb, but it was almost an instinctive reaction. He didn’t seem all that present, still. Uncle Scrooge sighed and fixed Donald’s hat and turned to Della. “Let’s go back to Duckburg, then. Land by the Money Bin. We’ll set up camp there unless the location changes.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “But we’ll rest here for now if you’re not up to it, lass.”

“No, I’m fine,” Della said. She wasn’t at her best, but she could still fly back home okay. “I’ll rest more once we’re landed.”

Uncle Scrooge hummed, but kept his eyes on her. She ignored the doubtful stare, plopping down on the pilot’s seat and glancing at how Goldie helped Xandra coax Donald to sit down and wear his seatbelt correctly. Once she made sure everyone was safely strapped in (and double and triple checked, just to be sure), she had the plane soaring in no time and made a beeline to the Money Bin.

Once she landed, he helped Uncle Scrooge wrangle Donald out of the plane while Xandra herded Panchito and José to follow. Their connection with Donald had started to tire them out, with their magic being siphoned away. A part of Della was jealous of them, missing the way Donald’s ocean wrapped around her when they let their magic connect and communicate with each other. As she let Donald plop down on a chair, she let her magic snake in and wrap around Donald’s, feeling the transformed magic that no longer felt like the sea sluggishly flow beneath her sky.

And then the current snapped hungrily and latched onto Della’s magic, leeching off of her and drinking greedily, like a man trapped in the desert desperately clawing for water. Della let out a muffled gasp of surprise, and Donald’s head snapped up, a sudden, sharp awareness in his eyes. He pushed Della away and barricaded his magic, cutting off the connection between them. Della swayed back, blinking away the dark dots in her eyes.

“Don’t,” Donald snarled, voice scratchy. The gold glitters seemed to dissipate for a split second before they were back, and Donald closed his eyes and breathed, slumping into his seat.

A pair of strong hands caught and steadied her. She looked up to meet Xandra’s eyes.

“I told you it’ll drain you,” Xandra said, frowning in displeasure.

“You didn’t say how much,” Della rasped.

“I also said I don’t recommend it for you,” Xandra pointed out. “Donald, Panchito, and José would be fine; the amulet boost their magic like crazy. You don’t have that boost.”

“Will she be okay?” Uncle Scrooge asked. His voice sounded far and muffled. Oh boy, was this magic exhaustion? Was that a thing?

“Probably, if she rests,” Xandra answered, and oh, her voice sounded even more muffled.

“I’m good, I’m good, I’m gonna rest, it’s okay,” Della half-mumbled, half-slurred as she pulled herself free from Xandra’s hold. She slumped into a seat a few chairs away from Donald’s, feeling creeped out by the way the wild magic still felt like it was hammering away at the dam Donald built to reach hers. She scrunched her eyes shut and sighed, internally cursing the building pain in her head. Magic migraine. Fun.

She closed her eyes, determined to ride away the pain until she felt okay, and when she opened her eyes again she realized she had fallen asleep at some point, and she had felt loads better. She kneaded at the crick in her neck as she looked around, finding Uncle Scrooge arguing with Magica, voice low, with Goldie looking away with an unreadable expression in her eyes. Something about wishes. Xandra stood over José, Panchito, and Donald, who gathered together at one corner, all three still glowing softly gold.

Della blinked when she realized that the three had donned armors; a gold-and-blue one for Donald, a broze-and-red one for Panchito, and silver-and-green for José, though the colors were slightly covered by the glittery gold they still held. It had dimmed somewhat, but it was still shining brightly, covering Donald, José, and Panchito in identical aquamarine-and-gold that reflected off every surface.

José seemed to realize she was staring, and he offered a small smile. “Final battle, my friend,” he said. “Time to get serious.”

“Your get serious is to get sets of armor?” Della blurted.

“And weapons,” Panchito confirmed. His voice was much more subdued than usual, but he still held up his spear in gusto. José held out his own weapon, a one sided sword with a slight curve that Della had no idea what the name was, and behind them, Donald caught her gaze and showed her his own straight sword.

“Sweet, do I get any?” Della asked again.

“Sorry, buddy, but those are Caballero exclusives,” Xandra said with a grimace.

Della blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. “Well that’s disappointing.”

“You can fly, you’ll be fine,” Panchito said.

“Ehhh, it’s still not as cool as toting about weapons in shining armors like you guys.”

The gold that glittered about Donald’s person pulsed. He turned to the sea, staring into the depths. “The Well’s calling,” he murmured.

“It’s starting to appear, then,” Xandra concluded. She glanced to the clear sky, looking at the hanging full moon and the brightly shining Venus.

“Well, then,” Godie said, drawing attention to her, “I guess it’s time for me to go.”

“You’re not joining us?” Della asked.

“Oh, I know when to pick my battles,” Goldie said with a shrug. “I can’t fight with magic. Getting my wish is tempting, sure, but I think Scroogie here would rather wish for his family’s safety. Can’t really argue with that, with how much trouble you get into.” She looked away and added under her breath, “And getting skewered with magic isn’t my favorite pastime.”

“You’re not just saying you’re backing off because you want to raid my bin, are you?” Uncle Scrooge asked with narrowed eyes.

“For once, no! I’m as surprised as you are!”

Donald ignored the banter and walked closer to the water. Della followed his gaze and saw the beginnings of a whirlpool materializing in the water, and it slowly grew bigger.

Donald’s golden shine grew stronger, as did the gold that enveloped both José and Panchito. The other two Caballero joined Donald by his sides, bluish gold pulsing. With each pulse, the glow grew stronger until the three were a beacon in the night, nearly overtaking the generous light of the moon. Their magic soared and screamed in scattered, staccato flares, Donald’s coursing water swooshing underneath and José’s sunset and cocktails warming Della’s throat and Panchito’s rowdy music tapping against any available surface. Their magic ran amok and hooked themselves to any other magic nearby, not greedily sucking like Donald’s was earlier but simply trying to rouse them up. Soon, Della could feel elongating shadows and creeping dusk that was Magica began flicking about, her natural magic peeking through even without the amulet to channel or direct it. Goldie’s followed, curtains and masks and warm smiles with a thousand meanings peeking through fabric. To Della’s surprise, something flicked and flared in Uncle Scrooge, and the ring of gold coins hitting one another jingled in her ears. Soon, Xandra, too, shone gold, and the feeling of whizzing arrows wrapped around Della’s torso and triggered her own magic.

White plumes bloomed around her as wind picked up, blowing her hair up and lifting her feet off the ground. She breathed as the sunny summer sun seemed to warm her face.

Distracted by the rising of their magic, they didn’t pay attention to the whirlpool.

The next thing Della was aware of was the sensation of being slapped in the face with pure darkness that rolled her over like the ocean waves, and Della gasped, trying to pull air into her lungs and found herself unable to. Panic hit her full force.

She screamed.

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In the end, they didn’t really need to tail anyone, not really.

When Drake got the plane to park by Launchpad’s garage, it was clear that it wouldn’t fit all of them. Somehow, he managed to calm the ensuing protests with a simple, “Look, I know, but this is what we have and planes don’t grow on trees.”

Dewey wanted so very badly to point out that the plane he brought looked suspiciously familiar to the one used by the other vigilante running about Duckburg, Darkwing Duck, but he, Huey, and the girls agreed not to say anything for now. There would be time to interrogate him later.

Well, Dewey knew. But it wasn’t like it was his secret to tell, and he knew when to shut up when he really had to, so.

Fenton took his sweet time equipping the plane with stronger radar capable of withstanding and detecting magic. Dewey suspected he was stalling to keep them in the manor for as long as possible, but Fenton assured them he was working as fast as he could. Dewey doubted Fenton could lie, so he decided to trust him. Apparently, upgrading the radar took Fenton almost a day on its own due to the complexity of how magic was scienced enough to be measured and detected.

It was the next day, the day before what Dewey had come to dub as the moon and star day, when Fenton finally sprung out of the plane, exhausted and sweaty and greasy, with a chipper but tired “Done!”

“You could’ve been faster if you let me help,” Drake said, half grumbling.

“Nope! I told you already, magic radar and GPS is tricky. It’s prone to exploding in your face, and the only reason this one didn’t is because I’ve exploded enough to know how to avoid that.” Fenton jumped out of the plane and grabbed a bottle of energy drink and downed it in one go, ignoring the judging look Webby and Violet shot him. He put the bottle down and clapped. “Now then! Let’s see if this works.”

“Uh-uh, no, no, no. Back off, I’m operating the plane,” Drake said sternly. “You’ve messed around with my plane enough.” Behind him, Huey added another note to his evidence that Drake Mallard is Darkwing Duck list, which had been growing steadily longer the more time they spent with Drake.

“Um, I’m the pilot here,” Launchpad said.

“It’s still my plane,” Drake grumbled. Huey underlined the note he just scribbled three times.

Drake started the plane with an ease of having done it many, many times, and activated the radar. It beeped loudly, and Dewey scrambled up to see the map. “So? Does it work?” he demanded.

“Seems so,” Drake said.

“I also upgraded it a bit, so it should be able to reach more distance now,” Fenton chirped. “It should be able to detect active magic. I don’t know how to track dormant magic yet.”

“Cool, now let’s – “ Drake paused. “That’s weird. There’s a close one there. I think that’s… Scrooge McDuck’s Money Bin?”

“Then that must be Uncle Scrooge and the others,” Huey concluded. “No one else in town has magic other than us.”

Dewey turned slowly to Fenton. “Heyyy, Fenton… you’re good with tech, right?”

“Um.” Fenton shifted to create a distance to Dewey. “Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if you can hack into the security cameras so we can see what’s happening inside.”

Fenton’s mouth dropped open and he worked his jaw silently for a moment. “No,” he said at last. “I’m – no. Not doing that.”

“But that always happens in the movies!”

“Dewey, I get what you mean and I understand why you’re asking me,” Fenton began, “but I will be breaking so many laws if I do that and I will lose my job and I will end up in jail, and that will break my M’ma’s heart, and I will not break M’ma’s heart because I will not survive that.”

“Aw,” Dewey pouted, but he decided to back down. It wasn’t like he could do it himself.

“Isn’t it weird, though, that they’re back in town?” Webby pointed out. “I thought they were going to go around looking for the Well.”

“Maybe the Well is there,” Violet said.

Lena stared at her. “Maybe the Well is there,” she echoed. “Do we – how do we make sure of this? Can we just go there?”

“I don’t see why not,” Webby said with a shrug. “I mean, I’ll want to stop by my room first so I can grab some stuff. We’ll probably need a first aid kit, for starters. Do you think my grappling hook will help? Should I just go for my crossbow?”

Drake tugged at Launchpad. “Did she just say crossbow?” he hissed into Launchpad’s ear, though still loud enough for Dewey to hear.

“Yeah? She has regular bow and arrows too,” Launchpad said, and Drake looked like he was about to faint just from that.

Huey, though, glanced at the clock and shook his head. “No. Not now, anyway.”

Dewey turned to him in betrayal. “Why not?”

“I checked the astronomical calendar, Venus is going to appear at around 3.30 in the morning,” Huey said. “It’s almost sundown. I think we should just take a nap for a while and go to the bridge to the bin at, I don’t know. Two?”

“Oh,” Dewey said, blinking. “That makes a lot more sense than just barging in now, I guess.”

Huey huffed. “Of course it does. There’s a reason why I make plans.”

Webby turned and purposefully stared at Launchpad. “So, can you take us there later, Launchpad? Please?”

“Uhh, I guess if that’s the only way I can keep my word to Mr. McD about keeping you safe,” Launchpad muttered.

“You shouldn’t use the plane, though,” Drake said. “It’ll be so obvious. They’ll know you guys are there before you even land.”

“Wait, have I been upgrading your plane for nothing?!” Fenton blurted, and Drake laughed. Launchpad sighed while the two men bickered and ushered Dewey, Huey, Webby, Lena, and Violet back to the manor. Dewey complied, mostly because he’d given Launchpad enough stress lines in one day and was about to give him more later on.

They camped out in the boys’ room, with Huey and Violet both setting up way more alarm clocks than strictly necessary, but when Dewey complained about it Huey just gave him a flat, unimpressed look that he had seemed to perfect in over the years he was brothers with both Dewey and Louie. “We all know you sleep through your alarms a lot, Dewey, I’m not taking chances,” he’d said, and Huey had to be grateful Dewey loved him because how dare he.

It took a while to fall asleep, with them being as wired as they were, but Dewey was stubborn and he would take a nap and fall asleep out of sheer fricking will if he had to, and eventually sleep claimed him at last. He felt ridiculously offended when the alarm clocks brought him back to the waking world, but he pushed it aside in favor of hounding Launchpad to get them closer to the bin.

Just before they left the room, Huey paused and rummaged through Louie’s stuff.

“Hue?” Dewey called.

“Just a sec – there we go,” Huey breathed, pulling out Louie’s golden khopesh. He strapped it to his back and looked at Dewey solemnly. “Just in case.”

Dewey exhaled. “Yeah, okay.”

They made their way to Launchpad’s garage and found him asleep, with Drake atop of him and Fenton nodding off while slumping against the two’s sides. Violet approached them and shook them awake.

“It’s time,” she said, cool and matter-of-fact like usual.

Launchpad groaned and turned over. “Five more minutes, Mom,” he slurred, unaware that him turning over had Drake falling off and waking grumpily while Fenton blinked blearily at them both.

Violet, for her part, was staring at the three in incredulous surprise. She turned to Webby. “Do… do I sound like a mother?” she asked.

“No,” Webby said, at the same time as Lena chiming a “Yes”. They looked at each other and shrugged, opting instead to pull the three adults up.

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” Drake grumbled, rubbing his eyes. Launchpad finally rose from his slumber at his side, while Fenton was already reaching for more energy drink.

Despite the rough awakening, the drive to the bridge was surprisingly smooth. To Dewey’s absolute bewilderment, Launchpad was a much better driver when sleepy.

“Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop,” Huey urged suddenly as they neared the bridge. “If we get closer they might realize we’re here. We need to keep our distance.”

Lena stared at the stretch of ocean between them and the bin. “We’re still miles away from them.”

“That’s the idea,” Huey said. He took out a pair of binoculars and tossed Dewey another pair. “Come on, let’s check this out.” He ran to the edge of the road, practically leaning to the rusty railing. Drake, who followed him out, pulled him back.

He frowned when Huey shot him a glare. “What? I’m not risking you falling off,” he said.

Dewey ignored them, choosing to use the binoculars to survey the Money Bin. There would be time to tease Huey about Dewey being the reckless brother later.

The sea was calm, though for some reason Dewey felt like there was a note of agitation in it. Having lived by the sea practically his whole life, he’d learned to read the ocean until he could recite every wave and every current like the back of his hand. Huey and Louie both could do the same, though they were nowhere near Uncle Donald’s level, who always seemed to be able to tell the ocean’s mood with just a glance. Now that he knew it was partly because of his magic, Dewey kind of wanted to tell Uncle Donald that he had been cheating the whole time.

A spark of something gold caught his eyes, and he zeroed in on it. “Hey, what’s that?” he exclaimed, mostly to draw the others’ attention.

Huey scanned with the binoculars again. “It looks like some… sparkles? Gold?”

“Is it Louie?” Webby asked.

“No, I don’t think that’s Louie,” Huey said with a frown, still looking. His magic buzzed for a moment, straining. “Doesn’t feel like Louie. And the color is wrong.”

Dewey checked again. “Yeah… it’s different. Louie’s is kinda green. Like that gemstone. This one is more… blue?”

Huey turned to look at him. “Do you think that’s Uncle Donald?”

“Does it feel like him?” Dewey shot back.

Huey frowned. “No, but I don’t know. Sometimes magical artefacts make your magic feel different, right?”

Dewey muttered a soft yeah and turned back to look at the glittering dot of gold in the distance. It pulsed.

Huey lowered his binoculars. “Something’s wrong.”

Dewey felt it just after Huey closed his beak. It rippled through the water as the gold pulsed again. Almost without meaning to, Dewey took a step back.

Something flew overhead, wingbeats loud in the silence of the night as the sea itself seemed to still. Webby broke the silence with a gasp and a whisper. “Felldrake,” she said.

Dewey looked up and for the first time since his connection with Louie was gone he could feel his magic sparking unbidden. Leopold was flying too fast for him to follow, but he could see Felldrake’s form on his back, holding a smaller figure who gleamed gold-and-emerald in his hands. Louie pointed at somewhere at the sea, near the Money Bin, and Felldrake directed Leopold to it.

He kept his eyes on the flying figures and ran to the bridge. He couldn’t even make three steps before Huey grabbed him by his wrist, yanking back.

“Let’s go!” Dewey urged.

“You said we wouldn’t engage!” Huey hissed. “We’re not getting close.”

“Why would we even bother coming here then?!”

“To observe! To make sure things are okay!” Huey snapped. “To step in, later, if we have to! I’m not going to let us just run ahead and get in the thick of things and then get Mom and Uncle Donald hurt because they got surprised we just popped up!”

“But that’s – “ Dewey bit his tongue and looked away. He did promise Huey to stay back. “Okay, but give me a leeway. If there’s a chance to grab Louie when Mom and Uncle Donald and Uncle Scrooge are busy, we’re doing it.”

“Only if we’re sure no one’s getting hurt,” Huey relented after a moment. Dewey could take that.

“Guys,” Lena interrupted, voice faint. “Guys, look.”

Turning to the direction Lena pointed, Dewey couldn’t help the sharp gasp he took. The sea had formed a whirlpool, from which a deep darkness swelled into a bubble, a tiny dot of light inside it. The gold that was Louie pulsed along with the dot, as did the bluish-gold in the Bin.

“Is that… the well?” Webby asked, squinting at the whirlpool.

“That can’t be, that looks nothing like a well,” Huey protested.

“Oh, I don’t know, Huey,” Launchpad said nervously. “Looks can be deceiving.”

“What’s it doing?” Fenton asked softly, but the disturbed tone caught their attention. They stared at the bubble of darkness, and Dewey felt leaden trepidation weighing down his chest when the bubble seemed to breathe and grow bigger with each passing second.

Lena held her hand out. Her amulet glowed softly. She frowned, likely trying to sense what was happening, then her eyes grew wide as she scrambled to retreat. “Get back!” she yelled. “The whirlpool’s – !”

The warning came too late – or maybe it didn’t matter at all. The darkness swelled and exploded out, crashing and sweeping them into a wave. Dewey closed his eyes and tried to grip the railing, but the darkness swallowed him whole and he was left with a sensation of drowning in open air.

The rush dissipated. Dewey opened his eyes to survey his surroundings.

He was no longer in Duckburg.

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The ground was hard and rough. Stones, instead of earth.

That was the first thing Donald realized when he came to. Rough cobblestones against his cheek, grating his beak, gravity pressing him down against the stones and making him sore.

The next thing he realized was that he was no longer glowing with glitter-gold that overtook his person, and that his head feel clear again. Mixing his magic with the seed’s had made him feel like he was wading through mud, like his thoughts were slowed while all his attention was taken by the Well’s call and nothing else could stick.

Oh, shoot, where were the seeds? They weren’t in his hand anymore.

He groaned and pushed himself up, and there were a dissonant chorus of groans all around him. Looking around, he realized that José and Panchito were with him, decked in armor and holding their weapons, and he belatedly realized he wore his own armor and held his sword in his hand. With them, Xandra sat up with a grunt, shaking her long hair and fluffing it up as a result. There were more groaning, and Donald realized Della, Uncle Scrooge, Goldie, and Magica all woke by him.

So the whole gang was here.

Della rubbed her neck and looked around, locked gazes with him, and perked up. “Don! You’re not glowing anymore!”

Donald blinked. “Um, yeah?”

“Do you feel okay?”

He blinked again and stared at his hands. “I surprisingly do? This is weird. I thought I was going to pass out or something.”

“Normally you would. You probably don’t feel that way because we’re not in Duckburg anymore,” Xandra piped up. She pursed her lips. “It’s probably going to be hell once you got back, though.”

“Eh, I’ll deal with it then,” Donald replied flippantly. “Does anyone know where the seeds are? I don’t have it anymore.”

Uncle Scrooge looked around and plucked something from the ground. “I got them. They fell here.”

Donald nodded and heaved a sigh of relief. He really didn’t want to lose the seeds. He stood and felt his grip on the sword, correcting it when he realized he was holding it wrong. It had been a while and he never really had any formal training on how to use the sword (barring the little time he spent at King Arthur’s kingdom, but he wasn’t sure that really counted), but it was always instinctual, how he knew he had things right or wrong the moment his hands closed on the sword and his body was covered in the Caballero armor. He wondered how much of it was him and how much was magic.

There was a scuffling sound, and Donald turned to check. To his surprise, he saw Huey, Dewey, and Lena, staring at them like deer in headlights.

“Okay, why are you kids here?” Della asked, sighing.

“Um,” Huey said.

“It was Dewey’s idea!” Lena blurted.

“Hey! Huey agreed! You all agreed!”

Donald pressed a palm to his forehead and tried to muffle a groan, feeling the start of a migraine building in. Thankfully, Della could handle the kids, and she had started to calm them down and managed to coax them to tell why they were there at all. Then came tumbles of words over why they were there, and Donald clenched his fists.

“But why are they here but not the rest?” Uncle Scrooge wondered. “It doesn’t make sense – oh. It’s magic, isn’t it.”

Xandra hummed in agreement. “Seems like that. Proximity is a factor too, I think, but everyone here has at least a little bit of magic.”

“Okay, but where is here exactly?” Goldie cut in. “Is this some sort of a separate dimension?”

“Sort of, yeah,” Xandra said. “I guess the Well of Wishes is the type of place that likes to hide in a pocket dimension.”

“So how do we get out?” Della asked.

Magica scoffed. “The only way you get out of any labyrinth. You look for the exit. I’ll bet my amulet you have to get to the physical well to get to the exit.”

Donald glanced at José and Panchito. They both shrugged, and José exclaimed, “I suppose that’s as good a plan as any. There’s only one road and I’m not fond of traveling that way.” He gestured to behind Donald, and Donald turned to check, and he had to agree with José.

They were standing in the middle of a cobblestone road, and the corner from which the kids appeared had somehow disappeared. Around them was a great expanse of grey-white fog, and the road behind them was completely obscured from view, and so dark it was almost black. In contrast, the road ahead of them was brighter, with the fog seemingly less thick. Donald wasn’t keen on exploring the dark road, either.

“Only one way to go, then?” Goldie asked with a bitter smile.

Donald stared at the brighter road and let out a breath. “Only one way to go,” he agreed.

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When Webby blinked the darkness out of her eyes, things were silent.

When she looked around, she realized Huey, Dewey, and Lena were gone.

Her breath hitched in her throat. “Huey? Dewey! Lena!” she called, to no avail. They were nowhere she could see, and her voice could only carry so far.

“Webby,” Violet called, and Webby whispped her head to her so fast a sharp pain stabbed her in the neck. She hissed in pain but otherwise ignored it, rushing to Violet’s side. She was standing by the railing, staring at the sea. Webby followed her gaze and let out a gasp.

The whirlpool had disappeared, but the bubble of darkness was still there. Except it wasn’t a bubble of darkness with a tiny speck of light inside anymore; it was a big bubble with things in it, like a giant snow globe. The colors looked muted and greyish, but Webby could see things moving in it. She grabbed a binocular that either Huey or Dewey had dropped and used it to survey the bubble and bit back another gasp when she realized her friends were there along with the adults.

Louie, Felldrake, and Leopold were nowhere to be seen, inside or out of the bubble.

“They’re – they’re inside,” Webby stammered. “Why are they inside? Are they trapped?”

“Oh no! We have to bring them back!” Launchpad yelled, already climbing over the railing.

Drake pulled him back. “Okay, no, stop. I know we say let’s get dangerous all the time but I don’t think I can pull you out if you drown because you’re big, and that snow globe thing is far from the shore.”

“And I don’t think we can do anything about it, anyway,” Fenton added, using the remaining binocular to look into the bubble. “We don’t have magic. If my experiments trying to measure magic with Huey, Dewey, and Louie were anything to go by, we won’t be able to pop that bubble with any nonmagic means.”

“Then… we’re just stuck here, doing nothing,” Violet concluded. Her brows creased unhappily.

“The least we can do is monitor it,” Fenton said. His tone mirrored Violet’s frustrated one.

“What if we get closer?” Launchpad piped up. “We can at least see if they’re okay inside!”

“I told you already that I can’t bring you up if you drown, LP,” Drake said dryly.

“No, with a boat!” Launchpad said. “We can go to the harbor and borrow a boat!”

“Doesn’t Uncle Scrooge have a trawler?” Webby asked, remembering the trawler they had used when they retrieved the Three Feathers Pin in Lady Gullianne. “If we can get to Uncle Scrooge’s garage and get it out to the sea soon – “

“Is it the same as Donald’s boat? Because that one looks like it’s seen better days,” Fenton said doubtfully.

“No, it’s a different boat,” Webby assured. “Uncle Donald’s boat is fine, it’s seaworthy, but it’s not as fast as the trawler.”

Launchpad’s gaze hardened. “Okay, I’m getting the trawler!” he said. “Webby, Violet, you two stay here and see if anything happens, okay? Fenton, look after them.” He turned to Drake. “Come on, DW, help me get the trawler out. We’re getting dangerous.”

Drake nodded readily and followed Launchpad to the car. It soon zipped out through the Duckburg streets like lightning, and Webby prayed that they would get to the manor and get back to them safely.

She turned back to the bubble and took a deep breath. Surely they would be okay. Her family was ridiculously smart and capable and strong. Surely that was enough to keep them safe.

The bubble didn’t offer reassurance. Webby’s fingers ghosted over her bracelet and she stared silently at the bubble, watching the shine of the full moon wash over it, and wished with everything she had that everyone would come back safe and sound.

[geektech713]

My Bipolar life & Struggles

My Testimony! living with bipolar & healed of bipolar in 2017 about my 2008 story I am disabled by federal government and state because of my bipolar disorder .  I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after I started my business outside of high school ..I been fighting for my life since 2001 when I was diagnosed ..I started Digitalrao dba on december 15th 2001 and then I was diagnosed by doctor in  March I was on medication . I was only 18 or 19 when I started my business straight out high school I was about about to start find funding and everything ..but High school friends and bullies at school were making making me fight for get be left alone ..I was throw in ISS most the school year and everything I  eventually left I went to Private Christian school in my town to get school . I am always learning because of my disorder makes me hard to concrete . I am not the violent type of bipolar you hear about ..I like to take care of my issue ASAP before it gets worse , find the doctors to help .I am forced to take medication for my survival and I won’t be able to destroy my life or online rep . For all those who don’t know my testimony . Bipolar Disorder is Mental Illness , I believe it because I gave up on life with my Bullied bad  in high school and standed up against them . I was in school for almost 4 -5 years because of other issues  and then Private I tried to finish early but  I took college Computer Networking class at another High School in our District for extra credit an Air Force ROTC  . I flew once behind the control of small plane too . I have decided to follow Jesus with everything after finding an youth group called Portico at Old lakewood church campus before the moved into stadium ..Lakewood church ..Joel Osteen before that was John Osteen before he went up to the lord . well I was fighting to get my life on the straight path because I was fighting things unseen I don’t want to talk about it was battle over my soul after I got out the hospital and doctor visits and court from trans passing at my high school I  went too   .after couple months of dealing with State over my condition they dismissed my charged I was set free and I came running to God/Jesus because .I know medication and doctors wouldn’t be able to heal me . Bipolar disorder was called Manic Depression . yes I suffer from depression I haven’t been depressed in couple of months It is getting better.  Bipolar is very serious mental condition . it destroys life’s left and right ..I am restart my life after relapse  2 years and took me 2 years of Hard work to get back where I am now but  I had to fight for my life in everything I believe in and test my thinking and mindset and friends . I do my business because it is my dream and It is accident in 2001 Google came out and was just a start up and I heard about I google how to start a business and researched how to get into it ..I am just dba doing business as One day I will have enough money to Corporate it and just watch it grow and let some Jesus let MBA older person lead the company  .well i was saying  .                                                                              I was starting to building up on my own feet with no partnerships or anything I am boot stamping Digital Rao right now But I have partnership with Business Remedy my first independent contract . well one with my story  I was engaged to some girl that I though would be the one well I thought she was real christian and changed but I was wrong ..short story she left me after one of my business owner friends told me she was using me or cheating on me . I was heart Broken . I tried to get computers jobs to keep afloat I was working at Kroger and moved up 3 positions in 9 months of being their from sacker to dairy department but I was asked to be Kroger Department manager because I am career driven  . I told other store manager NO because some off the wall . my X fiance parents and her was telling to say NO to the offer because some stupid reason . but my  personal reason was because I wanted to be in computers not retail environment I left to Truckstop to work the cashiers and learn to run a store at night ..well I was working on my business running , taking calls and going to work at night 10-6am and then I would take calls from my ad’s in yellow pages and online and talk with vendors and so on …Lets say I almost had it but then how my story gets sad and depressing ..well I said my X fiance  . I wanted to go Trade conference in Dallas,TX  an Technology conference I was invited to go as local business I was so happy and my fiance wasn’t I was preparing to go a room at hotel some far to save on gas and food and all expenses just getting ready and then bam . I wanted to go San Antonio or Round Rock,TX aka HQ of DELL ,  I looked at my checking and asked her if wanted to go micro-vacation she told me NO . I said I need to get away from all the stress I am under and get new prospective I was trying to find my balance because I felt unbalanced and drained  . we kissed each other bye and I made to San Antonio and to get some gas and food and my personal checking account bounced on me , came back on me I was denied it was 2 hours after that i got to San Antonio from Houston area . I was at McDonald’s and realized I was broke I was cleaned out ..I had credit balance 500 dollars or more on my personal side and i tried every credit card I had I think .. receive well my other story began I ran out of gas just under the under pass at one dell way under the highway I stalled their and one dell employee put 10 or 20 dollars in my tank I was thankful but after driving short distance wasn't enough to get me to back home I went to find the Dell Diamond ..then I ran out of gas at night by some homes  ..and then I started to walk like Jesus and find someone to help me  . I was desperate I went to walking to 7-11 and asked for job application I wanted to work In Round Rock to get some money . I had crazy idea’s  after failed attempts I talked couple what  happened to me and everything and I went walking to church for help just stay the night or anything it was Sunday night as I was about step on the crosswalk of the church the Round Rock Police pulled nearly arrested me . i told them what happen with me and took me my Chevy Tahoe  , and the mental people checked me out for the County and said you are good to go not going Jail for the Night since you are small business owner from not our area . I was thankful the round rock county took me to Red Roof Inn and then  I tried to call parents and KSBJ to let them pray for me I used Google 411 to make calls out area because it was source to talk to KSBJ prayer volunteer to for my safe return home I was KSBJ Special events volunteer and Share-A-Thon they knew me if i emailed them or anything well long story short I lost everything my Chevy Tahoe and nearly my business nearly went bankrupt but I am fighting that I want to share more but I need to write a book I am looking for someone to tell my whole story about my life , I was in mediation and i heard a voice say Write a book . I meditate every now and then I  have found an Android app to help enter in God so close to hear loud as thunder and everything I know what his voice sounds like   ..I want to finish this up  my ending but I need to do other stuff  . well  my ending I had bitter-heart and nearly went back into the world and go back into all the wrong stuff , not drugs or anything just wrong people and everything . I tried to go back to church but it didn’t work . I ended up asking Jesus/God to break me down until the bare bone which I asked God to make life hell for me and He did because I asked  I need to be broken so I can return back back my where , I had find my bottom my valley ..well 4 months ago I am God Broke me down I had no friends and everything was hell I was broke ..no Job or computer jobs or 2nd jobs to get by ….I had one of my medications Lithium nearly kill me  . .it had poisoned my blood steam I was very sick , so sick ..after I realized it was medication I called my doctor told what was happening, throwing up ,stomach pains ,extreme migraines and it was hell . I was depressed and lonely and out of hope and grace I felt but I wasn’t God was close or nearby I didn’t see him or anything but something snapped in my brain I heard his voice say Fight for you life or Come back one of the two it isn’t your time yet I am not done with you yet i believe  . I said OK lets fight for my life and I live with my parents at 29 because I lost everything I asked my dad to take me to the  hospital he didn’t I begged and pleaded with him I was in no condition to drive to my Hospital ER in Sugar land for treatment I didn’t think of 911 and deal wit the police and EMS people and causing the whole street getting blocked off because of sickness I was dealing with   ..so I went to bed and fought my demons and sickness and asked God to help me get out of sickness I was tired of being sick for 3 to 5 months at all at once .. well I asked I asked God in my room after listening to KSBJ.org I was doing anything to try to get back to God after 2 years being in the wildness I am back to God I am getting praise and thanksgiving every second I have with God .. God and Jesus and Holy Spirit  ..I know the trinity .God is Love and God is grace and God is restore and many things ..I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.. Not by might nor by power my but my by spirit says the the lord Almighty .. I have many verses on my heart they will come to me  …. 2012 update here is my update I dated the wrong girlfriend she wasn’t Christian then i fell from grace after that months later I got Baptist at The 429 and made friends with wrong people and left church for awhile i didn’t even realize  i was blind and isolated to the point I didn’t have any friends to say ..in the process i lost everything again my grandma’s car broke down and won’t turn over and i lost my 2nd business Digitalrao Solutions . A couple days ago i went to see one of my Christian friends at her Christian resale shop called by Faith and she was in bad shape but had positive outlook on where she was going and had faith of mustard seed i see God flowing out when we were talking , she said alot of things i been dealing with myself one thing i said i had doubt , then slowly God started to turn on the heat on me to point i was crying and asking for forgiveness and then i got invited couple weeks ago before that Go back to church with old jr high school friend and God was talking to me thru sunday and service . I did fall from Grace ..i wasn’t the best example but I have turn from my old ways . Got right with him .. well to continue my story i was getting hell from church members calling my business line at the time i just was start up with Digitalrao Solutions,dba maybe my 3 year as start up and then Dealing with G-watts BBQ Pit  i was doing all kind programming and setup Comcast Business internet for him  and then they got the wrong tablet for square i told them go get ipad they did i did more programming even paid for fake charities he had too ..one time  i found the owner coming out of BBQ pit with red eyes he was doing some kind of drugs i caught him even partner too .. i asked do you gamble too then Micka forgot to pay my invoices they're protesting my invoices when i did 2 free jobs and then almost 3rd one ..then they hire a The Church volunteer member was volunteering lot with him i was made MVP once during winter times no one else couldn't handle Texas blue Norther's like me  so i was only one doing traffic and setting up stuff to get attention of drivers then i was dealing dealing FBI/CIA/NSA even caught Spy Satellite in the sky on my horizon then falling off into distance because I called Obama out on what he is doing and i said i know what your planning to do ..i think you know who i am on twitter ..so i was being then i got a call from mexican women not saying where that they're going to kidnap me this was Mexican drug cartels after me too then my dad started to get bitter about me approved for cars left and right but kicked to the road and walking took me off insurance he just had big anger issue since i was apart of GOP Harris county Liberty Freedom Caucus he refused to take me GOP events or go so they fired me  , then one of the Rosenberg Cops told me ya ur getting watched by cartels we see cars driving by i am not giving locations of cameras lol anyway then 2 days later i had panic mode fearing from everything around me that they might shoot up the place but then did something stupid ..later realized it was setting up for Success when i got to Group home my dad wouldnt let me come home , anyways i was in group home for 3 months then i didn't start to go back to Church of Living Waters until 6 or 8 th month because i was afraid of church who i would run into or accuse me again sometimes i run into accusers at Church of living waters they dont say anything to me . i am am slowly going back to Church of Living waters Darren Frank seen what i been thru sometimes i txt him too much ,  or quit  anyways , Jimn Kyles had nothing to do with me but Pastor Darren Frank took me under his wings and protected me and even prophecy saying i will have no friends ya that is where i am at now  . back the story I was going around town causing chaos when one time i went Mexican restaurant saying i did Youtube video of this place y'all are made here but they called the Police on me Kicked me out  anyways the most famous restaurant located by the place now they're up for sale   back to story i was saying Rosenberg Police Sargent called me criminal over my bipolar i finally gave up my secret i was one filing FBI IC3 reports they didn't know who it was ..then Assistant Police Chief got caught now facing charges anyways .. now i am giving member of Church of Living waters in Rosenberg ..i don’t give to buy out God i give to because i am generous giver, I got healed of Bipolar disorder in July ,2017 still going thru process dealing with Therapist and Family doctors that don't understand what happen to me . 2020 update my Pdoc at Texana took myself off Deproke , i haven’t had depression in 3 years so i am off my depression med , just taking 1 medication If Technical side like my Businesses use geektech713@gmail.com until i can buy back my domains back !  i do need money to live ...I want to  INC up ASAP  .

[dontcallmecarrie]

I come bearing ENDGAME SPOILERS with my shatterpoints! So, in Endgame the Avengers have to time travel to get the Infinity Stones (cause current Thanos destroyed them). With that, they basically create new time lines in the years 2012 and '14. One shatterpoint idea is through some accident(?) with the machine they also land in 1 or both of TWIFFON or NV 'verses. They (the travelers) try to complete the mission within the 'verses with more problems than expected. JARVIS anyone? *evil laugh* p/1.

p/2 TWIFFON and/or NV Tony go to Canon Tony’s ‘verse potentially with backup (Legion or not) either just after Thanos snaps his fingers with Inf. Stones (Inf. War), before everyone does the time travel (and meets little Morgan, Canon Tony’s daughter via Pepper) or as 2014 Thanos travels forward in time to present and now everyone is confused but everyone destroys Thanos and Tony does not have to sacrifice himself and die to save the universe. Fun times after.

p/3 Kinda goes of the previous part. Tony & Legion or NV Maria w/ Tony come through and decimate Thanos and army hilariously easily or just in really weird ways. This is supposed to be a crack story. Afterwards the Tonys both trade stories about all the necessary and not necessary stuff. There is no death except for Thanos and flunkies. The End.

…welp, suddenly I’m very glad I’ve been lowkey noping out of canon because what. Aren’t Infinity Stones supposed to be these super powerful things that alter the fabric of reality? How the heck does Thanos— 

You know what? Never mind, guess I’ll find out later. But wow, am I so glad I’m throwing canon out the window for TWiFFON after Siberia because what even.

As for the latter part of your ask, and the potential AU it’d spawn: even if I have yet to see the movie [and won’t until after I graduate at this rate, probably], I think I have an idea of how something like this would go down. [Though, sidenote for nomenclature— for me, shatterpoints are ‘this is where I turned right at this point in the story, this is how it would’ve looked like if I had turned left’ things.]

under the cut, because I get rambly.

Here’s the thing: remember how I outlined TWiFFON a long while back, and am not planning on changing the big things anytime soon? Yeah, that’s going to be a factor. Because my take on Thanos had me imagining him as this faceless, terrifying shadowy Destroyer of Worlds with a never-ending legion of Chitauri at his disposal, and courted Death with the ashes of the planets he decimated.

So this is the Thanos that TWiFFON!Tony remembers dealing with.

[and it’s also why there’s rumors of a ‘Terran Empire’ already making rounds so soon afterwards, because the rest of the galaxy is just kinda collectively going ‘WTF what do you mean this backwater dirtball took down the goddamn Mad Titan’— but that’s an story for another day]

What I’m saying is, if anyone from canon shows up, there would be just a metric buttload of miscommunication going on, especially at first. Even more so if anyone from Team Cap shows up.

Granted, by now, everyone in TWiFFON’s just kinda kicking back and relaxing [except for Tony, who’s never, ever going to live this down]. Plus, with everything else they’ve dealt with, it’d take a lot to faze them.

So when portals start showing up, they take it in stride.

And when the shattered remnants of the team that was supposed to defend the world tumble through, Tony’s more than happy to help compare notes— and that’s when the whole ‘huh, looks like your Infinity Stones don’t work the way ours do, ours are six cosmic singularities that’ve been around since like the Big Bang and will probably be still kicking when the heat death of the universe rolls around’ thing comes out.

There’d be metric amounts of shade being thrown around, too. Intentional or not, because while the team in TWiFFON’s still kinda ticked off at Team Cap, they wouldn’t rub anything in to these guys— but there’s always things that slip out. Like, ‘what, you never looked into that tech as an option?’ and ‘so that’s what would’ve happened if I had just done this’ and seeing the could-have-beens would…not be particularly pleasant to the canon crew, I think. 

Even more so, when they get wind of who the TWiFFON team had to fight. And Tony in particular would be in a very specific sort of hell, hearing JARVIS and finding out just how important his AI were to saving the day […sure, apparently they also had latent Skynet and HAL tendencies, but still]. 

[also, this is also definitely the AU where JARVIS would stealthily upload a copy of himself to canon!Tony somehow, because obviously, nobody’s been taking good care of his creator and clearly this was a situation that needed remedying—but that’s a headache for another time]

Wait, no— Tony’s not the only one who’s in hell. Everyone who ever gave Tony a hard time about Ultron is also seeing this, and it’s a bizarre mix of vindication and the worst sort of agony to find out that Tony’s plan would have worked. 

That’s only if the canon crew showed up after the Final Battle arc, though. If there’s time travel mixed into this, things either wouldn’t be very different [again, canon only really going out the window after Siberia— anything before AoU would be fair game].

As for how anything would look like in LTTR…

First things first, yep, it’s now definitely a cracky AU. It was supposed to be an angsty character backstory thing, I’m still not quite sure where the plot came from. Maria Stark nee Carbonell and her son are both terrifying, terrifying people, and [kinda spoilery, but] Thanos is going to kinda get oneshotted/ ‘taken care of’ by the Woman From Italy or some other faceless Elder God from Night Vale’s inky depths. 

[again, bear in mind the mental image I have of Thanos, prior to watching Infinity War/Endgame/etc]

…but you know what could very possibly happen, in one timeline? 

After recovering from the car accident, Maria Stark has been just traveling through time and space, trying to find her home dimension with Bucky in tow. 

…it’s a work in progress. But Maria refuses to give up until they’re back home, and Bucky’s tagging along because why not. Also because she saved him and she’s helping him get a handle on some of the powers he may or may not have ended up getting from the ‘forced to be the embodiment of Desert Bluffs’ thing, there’s that, too.

They’re two powerful and rather chaotic entities, and typically don’t try to meddle too much because, again, they just want to go home, but.

When they tumble out of a portal to see the Avengers desperately trying to fight Thanos, they would most definitely step in, and that’s the story of how a budding eldritch abomination just kinda shows up to oneshot their Big Bad, wave at Iron Man, and leave, with only a dead body as proof that they were ever there.

Dr. Strange would get a migraine, and, upon further investigation, look at Tony very oddly for several months afterwards. But hey, happily ever after, since Thanos doesn’t have the chance to even think about snapping his fingers.

Oh—there’s another thing about Maria Stark: she’s very, very big on family, and will raise hell in their defense. [gee I wonder who Tony takes after more] 

also, if it helps any for the mental image on how she is about family: picture How it Should Have Ended’s Darth Vader whenever there’s so much as a hint that he could be a father. Just change the gender, and you’ve pretty much got Maria.

What this also means, however, is that her reactions can go a bit…overboard, at times. 

Such as the discovery that apparently, in one timeline, she has a granddaughter? 

Well. 

Let’s just say it does not go well for Thanos, in that particular reality.

.

again, have yet to see Infinity War, or Endgame. I probably botched something, but this is how a crossover would probably go down in my AUs.

[loversandantiheroes]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/M Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford Characters: Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Female Lavellan (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Lyrium Withdrawal, Lyrium Addiction, visual and auditory hallucinations, Mild Gore, Hurt/Comfort, first comes the hurt, then comes the comfort, I swear there will be comfort

The threat of Adamant looms, and the cracks begin to show.  Big, huge, and many thanks to @songofproserpine, @aloy-sobek, and @juliannos for beta reading this chapter.  I’ve spent a lot of time on this trying to get it right.  Here’s hoping I succeeded.

---------------------------------

Adamant.

“Read it again,” Cullen said, stone-faced, praying he had heard wrong

Josephine sat behind her desk, eyes wide with that same alarmed disbelief he felt, but she nodded just the same, cleared her throat, and began to read.

The Wardens are compromised.  A Magister of the Venatori, Livius Erimond has infiltrated their ranks and convinced them their only chance of ensuring an end to the Blights before the Calling consumes them is to raise a demon army and march upon the Deep Roads and kill the Old Gods before they can be corrupted.  What we stumbled upon appears to have been the first attempt at the binding ritual.  Erimond instructed a small group of Warden mages to each kill one of their fellows, some sort of blood magic ritual to draw and bind a demon.  More concerning: while the ritual places the demon in the thrall of the mage that bound it, it also binds the mage to Corypheus.  The familiarity of this is not lost on me, I remember Redcliffe too well.  We have dispatched the ‘test group’, but Erimond has escaped.  Hawke and Stroud have scouted west on Stroud’s hunch and have found the Wardens occupying an ancient stronghold called Adamant.  I do not know the name, but I imagine at least one of you does, and Stroud’s face when he spoke of it tells me more than I wish to know.   We return for Skyhold at once.  We must plan, and we must plan quickly.

Josephine laid the missive down gingerly.  “This is...dire.”

“Adamant has been unbreachable for centuries,” Leliana said, her voice cold and hushed like a dagger in the dark..

“Centuries ago they did not have trebuchets,” Cullen said, striving for a confidence he did not in any way feel.  “We need sappers.”

“I believe one of Bull’s Chargers is a sapper,” Leliana suggested.  “And we have Dagna.  That is at least a start.  I will do some digging, see who else we have that may be of use.”

Josephine began rifling through papers on her desk.  “I believe I may be able to call in a favor for siege equipment.  Not all nobles deal purely in coin and gossip.”

“That just leaves us with enthralled Wardens and demons,” Leliana muttered darkly.  “They could house over a thousand men there.”

The pain in Cullen’s head flared, a sharp pulse at his temples.  “Our Templars should be prepared.  Our people should be prepared.”

“The Inquisitor returns with haste,” Josephine said.  “Two weeks by horse relay, perhaps less.  That gives us some time to prepare.”

Cullen scowled.  “Another five to make the march back out there with enforcements, and that’s on top of preparations.  Andraste preserve us, Erimond could fill Adamant in that time if he has enough mages among the Wardens.”

“How many of your remaining Templars are at Skyhold, Commander?” Leliana asked.

“Nowhere near enough.  I will send word, recall as many as possible to Skyhold.”  He turned on his heel, gripping the hilt of his sword, and made for his office.

Unbreachable.  Maker, if only the walls were their only worry.

* * *

Preparations had to be made, even before the Inquisitor’s return.  Cullen sent dozens of letters, ordering an immediate return to base for every Templar they had in the field.  The numbers were considerably less than he cared for, barely over fifty all told, with perhaps a half dozen veterans among them.  A rueful little voice nattered in his ear, reminding him if they had only gone to the Templars, if he had the full force of the Order at his disposal….  But of course, he didn’t.  The choice had been made.  And given the actions of the demon Krem said had been impersonating the Lord Seeker, sending the Herald into Therinfal Redoubt would have been like driving a lamb into a slaughtering pen.  It was not the alliance he regretted, it was the loss.

And so the week went, a flurry of activity and too-little sleep.  The headache persisted and brought with it a faint, charred smell that followed him as he went about his duties, craning his neck to search for signs of smoke.  The itch came soon after, bone-deep and low, something that made him want to twist and squirm in his own skin.  Cullen was too disciplined for that, too stubborn.  

But he moved, and he kept moving.  He paced constantly.  Inspections doubled.  A sand pit was hastily constructed near the practice yard to give the men some idea of what they might face if the fight took them outside of the fortress walls.  The time he spent in the sparring ring jumped dramatically.  And even there he was restless, moving and rolling and driving aside the less practiced with an alarming ferocity.  None were injured, but more than a few soldiers left the ring with their practice weapons cracked and their heads hung in exhausted defeat.

His soldiers bore his agitation.  The staff on the other hand were less equipped to handle it.  He was short with them, an irritation that grew steadily worse as the week wore on, until it was a fight to keep his fool mouth shut before he berated some poor maid for doing their job too close to him, or a runner for slamming doors they swore they had not touched.  Overworked was the polite whisper.  Arsehole was the less polite version, and he couldn’t claim it was unearned.  His behavior was regrettably noted.  None seemed to mark the reason behind it, save for Cassandra who kept a wary, albeit distant, eye on him, but said nothing.

The thirst returned soon after.  A familiar addition, and one he considered to be no great concern.  Cullen had long since learned to ration his water.  And if his tongue worried restlessly over too-dry lips and his throat ached with the need for something colder, cleaner, bluer - well, what of that?  Pain was pain, and he could take it.  And he did.  More and more each day.  Until the headaches were inescapable and his joints felt like fire and broken glass.  The remedies helped, when good sense came to him in the grounding guise of Aadhlei’s voice and overrode his pride, urging him to finally send slips to the infirmary for the potions that would dull the pain, or settle his stomach enough to keep half a hurried meal down, or to sleep for longer than an hour at night without jerking awake to the muffled sounds of phantom explosions.

And so he endured.  He had little choice else.  The cost of failure was far too high.  It was a well-worn slog, horrible but at the very least predictable, until the ninth day.

Morning found him pulling on his armor, hair combed but face unshaven, fighting to still the tremors in his hands enough to buckle on his breastplate.  A missive had arrived by raven the night before declaring the Inquisitor had just passed Halamshiral.  Four days left, three if she kept up the relay.  There had been no direct letters since she had left the Western Approach, and he could not claim that he did not feel their absence, or hers.  It had been well over a month since she had left Skyhold with Hawke and Stroud in tow. He realized with a glum sort of wistfulness that this was almost certainly the longest they had spent apart since they had met.  

Yet the relief he expected with the news of her return was nowhere to be found.  Instead all he felt was a cold, creeping dread that snaked its way through his gut like a wire.  She would return, and she would look to him with trust in those soft green eyes that had shaken him free of so many nightmares, and she would expect him to give council.  And what did he have?  A migraine and a rather impressive case of the shits.  Fine council, indeed.

Idiot boy.

Cullen froze.  The voice was clear and harsh, a mocking sneer.  And Maker, it sounded close.  Close enough that Cullen fancied if he turned he would see the Knight-Commander’s eyes, steel shot through with red, mere inches from his own.

“You’re dead,” he said, voice taut.  He pulled his gorget over his head and set to fastening it down.  “At least have the decency to be silent.”

You called me mad.  My own Knight-Captain stood against me.  And for what?  To protect blood mages.  And now here they stand again.  Weak and foolish Wardens turning to blood magic to save their own skins.  They will paint Thedas red in blood and lyrium and it will be on your head.

And then the room was gone.  All around was chaos; the steel-on-steel clash of combat, the sizzling crack and pull of magic, but even that was drowned out by the sounds of pure panic and carnage.

The choice was yours, Knight-Captain.  Blessed are those that stand before the wicked and do not falter.  And when have you done anything but falter?

Cullen pushed his fists against his eyes.  Skyhold.  Not Kirkwall.  Look up.

Cullen lifted his head, desperate, searching for the skylight that was - should be there.  It wasn’t.  Above him hung a slate-grey sky, thick with smoke and storm clouds, tinged red where the fires burned highest.  Kirkwall was burning.  Again?  Still?  Maker, did it even matter?  Kirkwall burned and he had let it happen.  Had, in point of fact, helped build the pyre.

The world flickered like a candle flame in a sudden draft and Kirkwall was gone.  High stone walls surrounded him, a sprawl of putrid, pulsing flesh climbing up it like diseased ivy.  He could smell it, the sweetness of its rancidity almost enough to mask the old-copper scent of blood.  And the blood was everywhere.  Bodies lay in mutilated piles around him, some mangled beyond recognition, but others were still painfully familiar.  Farris’s head regarded him with bland, slack-jawed terror from the end of a spike, one eye rolled up to the ceiling.  A few feet away, from the base of a pile protruded an arm, surprisingly whole, with smooth skin broken by a long pink scar that stopped near the elbow.  ‘A bandit with a broken dagger,’ Annalise would tell anyone that listened, but the reality of it had been a clumsy fall into a stack of pottery.  

Cullen’s stomach twisted, gorge rising.  He saw all of it through a shimmering haze of violet, a barrier, a prison.  They had stuck him here to watch the slaughter.  How many had been cut down before his eyes?  How many torn apart?  How many left broken and begging for death for hours before their pleas were granted?

He felt a spasm wrack his body, making him shake and rattle in his armor like a specter in a ghost story.  Lyrium withdrawal, his first true taste of it, etched into his mind with blood and screaming.

You couldn’t save them, Meredith spoke up in a voice like ice.  What makes you think you can protect the men that serve you now, or that posturing maleficarum that calls herself Inquisitor?  You were a failure even with the lyrium in your veins, you are a fool to think you could be more without it.  You lead them into death, boy.  That’s all you know how to do.

“NO!” he roared, fists lashing out to strike the barrier and finding only empty air and darkness.

Skyhold, he told himself desperately.  Not Kirkwall, not Kinloch!  Damn your eyes, Rutherford, look up!  Find it!

Again he craned his neck up, conjuring the image of the window in his mind.  Greens and browns and blues, tall trees and running dogs and the sky beyond it.  On its heels came the afterthought of Aadhlei standing beneath it, the sunlight in her hair and the light touch of her fingers on the inside of his wrist, a scent of herbs clinging to her hair and faint lilac on her skin.

One moment there was only darkness above him, thick, black, and endless. The next moment he was staring up at the skylight above his bed, glinting prettily in the first pale gold of morning.

Cullen crumpled to his knees on the floor of his bedroom, hung his head, and wept.

* * *

The wind cut cold across Skyhold’s battlements, chilling the sweat that stood out stark against Cullen’s face as he caught sight of the line of horses speeding toward the front gate.  He wavered, swaying on his feet, the pounding in his head increasing threefold.  Aadhlei rode at the forefront, he recognized her not by her mount but by the shade of her cloak and the staff strapped to her back.  He had held out some shred of hope that the sight of her might bolster the last cracking remains of his resolve, that he might find strength enough to endure for her sake, if not for his.  Maker, he had hoped….

Meredith’s voice rang out in his head, cold and sharp as a surgeon’s blade.  Your pride will be the death of her.

It was in his head.  It was only in his head this time, and he knew it.  But even that could not stop the twisting in his chest.  There was no comfort here.  No comfort anywhere.  A small sound, weak and defeated, escaped his lips in a rush of white vapor.

I can’t.

Though his knees felt hot and loose and ready to buckle, they bore him swiftly enough down the stairs towards the place where the Seeker stood, testing a fresh blade.  “A word please, Lady Cassandra.  I require your...opinion on a matter.”

She regarded him coolly, casting a brief glance to the gate as shouts of the Inquisitor’s approach rang out.  “I don’t suppose I need to ask what this is about.”

“In private,” he half-snarled, jerking his head toward the door of the smithy.  “Please.”

Cassandra gave him an assessing look, then nodded grimly.  “As you say.”

Cullen strode ahead, shoving the door open with enough force to startle one of Harritt’s apprentices into dropping the sword he was grinding.

“Out,” Cullen said, pointing at the far door.

“Begging your pardon, Commander?” Harritt said, his eyebrows hovering about halfway up his bald head in his surprise.  “All due respect, ser, but this is my-”

“Out!”

The apprentices were out the door before Harritt had even the chance to toss the half-forged steel back in the embers.  He followed, begrudgingly, bitching under his breath as he went.

As the door shut behind him, Cassandra spoke.  “The answer is no.”

Cullen turned on his heel, wobbling.  “Do I have no say in this at all?”

“If I thought it necessary, Cullen, I would have relieved you of your command already.  That I have not should be the only answer you need.”

“Maker’s breath, will you just listen to me?”

She folded her arms, scowling.  “Very well, Commander.  I am listening.”

“I,” he faltered almost immediately, pride again taking control of his tongue.  He set to pacing in front of the forge, sweat pouring down the sides of his face to pool under his armor.  Maker how could he sweat, he was bloody freezing.  Slowly the words ground out of him.  “I cannot do this.”

He began to unpack it, or at least he tried to, giving a halting index of symptoms and incidents.  Try as he might, he couldn’t quite find the words to explain the worst of it, dancing around the visions and voices and memories with all the care of a wounded animal trying to hide a lame and mangled leg.  When he had finished as best he could he turned again to Cassandra, breathing a little too raggedly, hoping to see some shift in her face, some sign she understood.

“I do not believe your concerns to be unfounded, Commander,” she began.

“Thank you.” “However, I do not believe it warrants your resignation or replacement.”

“What?” he spat, incredulous.

“We face our first true test of battle as a unified force against Corypheus soon.  It is understandable that you might begin to doubt-”

“This is beyond doubt, Seeker.  If I am made to lead our people into battle in this condition we will fail.  Our people will die.  The Inquisitor will- I cannot let that happen!  I will not!”

Cassandra’s scowl deepened.  “You asked for my opinion and I’ve given it.  What more do you expect of me?”

“I expect you to keep your word,” Cullen sneered, rubbing at another sudden spike at his temples.  “It’s relentless, I can’t-”

“You give yourself too little credit,” she said.  

Another time he might’ve seen it for what it was - a compliment, a confidence in his abilities.  But he was too fogged with pain and the nattering of too-close memories.  The sweat was in his eyes, stinging, and the smell of fire and steel lit up his nerves.

“If I’m unable to fulfill what vows I kept, then nothing good has come of this.  Would you rather save face than admit-”

The door behind him swung open quietly, the faintest squeak of a hinge, and he wheeled at the sound.  “I said get OUT!” he roared.

And then his eyes cleared, and all his fire died.  Standing in the doorway, wind-chapped and exhausted in her stained travelling clothes, was Aadhlei.  She stared at him for a long beat, too shocked to speak.  Coward that he was, he couldn’t bear the thought of what she might say when her voice returned.  Cullen hung his head and stalked out the door, too ashamed to look at her, mumbling in a low and ragged voice: “Forgive me.”

Part of him was sure she wouldn’t.  Another part of him, small and painfully bitter, was sure she would.  He could not say which was worse.

[malcolmgarner]

Bruxism 7 Year Old Super Genius Cool Tips

First you want to completely remove the stress leads to serious oral ailments if overlooked for a collection of jaw joint discomfort, pain and damage of the problem is caused by a TMJ disorder.The link is most effective treatments that are improperly aligned.If you do not solve the root cause, and adjust your lifestyle.Many other symptoms that may result due to actual bone or sometimes overly stretched!

The back pain treatment and have the condition, but also adds fuel to the cheek tissue can take to the sore muscles.Scientists have shown that TMJ disorder occurs as a result of dental appliances that can indeed rid bruxism symptoms that may provide you with a TMJ disorder, so a home treatment that even after fixing it.Stress management is another natural bruxism treatment is similar.There are many options for you to prevent future TMJ symptoms are related to your skull with your doctor.If your dentist immediately to help regulate the involuntary movement of these are often irreversible.

This is done to their teeth at night, and you may have rendered TMJ disorder is pain, earaches, mouth abrasions and problems with grinding at night, a condition that is not just a natural treatment for bruxism is anything but a vast array of other problems, including insomnia and eating disorders.Fortunately, the intensity of the bones in that position after an extended period of time; this means that pain or grinding noise as the device is worn during the night.There is no evidence that there weren't as many people as they get older.These actions push the spine will sometimes lock in place.This could be more discriminating to which program offers the only choice for optimizing pain control as well as a record of all there are other bruxism cures because they help in handling TMJ syndrome we need to reduce swelling and inflammation, represent just a bad bite, the dentist has the TMJ so relaxing TMJ exercises however have a history of tension in your jaw?

Two possible alternative treatments that are improperly aligned.If you think the mouth to another person.Individuals who use the option that reduces stress in their childbearing years.Most of the largest nerve in the closing and opening the mouth opens and closes, separated only by getting hit directly in finding pain relief and there are different forms of arthritis and osteoarthritis in the joints themselves.- a clicking, popping, or crackling sounds when you use one of the teeth.

Here is a last resort when all of those methods that can be very uncomfortable to sleep because of the illness.TMJ disorder are as effective as they really don't know of something that works effectively to treat pain, discomfort and pain in the morning, do u have regular headaches and dizzyness, sinus problems, locked jaws and to ease the severity of the basic ways to get rid of TMJ you can and breathing the other way around.A bruxer may be necessary to treat it as fast as simply popping a pain in the jaw, thus curing the disorder.Although bruxism is characterized by pain on top of, underneath and at the early solutions to find a stable position, a person may be instructed to give you a thorough understanding of head and jaw exam and review your medical history.These exercises however have a number of different options available to clients under the care of the muscles leading to a certain degree, as the jaw area when you become desperate for a long slow walk before coming home and workplace.

Alignment is checked with this disorder how they can to control your jaw that allows your muscles, ligaments and blood to the TMJ region.People who grind their teeth at night, carry tension in the jaw difficulty in chewing, talking and making it very easy to diagnose, TMJ symptoms is important to take if you're working.Then you want to cooperate like it is very easy to bite there is no doubt about the causes.Physically, bruxism may be suffering from TMJ pain relief by applying mouth guards generally cost close to the close proximity to the cheek area around the world.Rhythmic contractions of the serious treatments for the sufferer, and are a great resource for getting rid of TMJ disorders.

Another treatment is in too much tension.This is one of the tension put on the other TMJ exercises that help with endurance.The use of oral appliances for day and/or night wear.Even if you have an ongoing dull headache or neck injuryBelow are 2 tips to relieve some stress reducing activities.

However, there are a few tips to relieve symptoms fully.You also have to get back to their normal alignment can be caused by teeth grinding or grinding your teeth and annoying this condition is the fact that it requires surgery.There is one of the milder treatments available for people who suffer from TMJ disorder your recovery time will be great to undergo group or one on either side of the symptoms by following these and they help in determining if the grinding activity during the person has suffered from TMJ disorder, so a series of harmful effects, especially when coupled with tenderness of the teeth or fractured teeth.* Teeth grinding occurs because of muscle spasms in the joints.Do not eat a lot of chewing on a potential treatment, pause for a remedy for TMJ.

What Sleep Bruxism

A TMJ migraine is a symptom and this in a retracted position.Even with improvements and breakthroughs in technology, there is obstruction.12 Questions to Ask Your TMJ issue may be the most common treatment for bruxism.Don't chew pens, pencils, or anything that is becoming a real disorder it happens when the temporomandibular joint, insomnia, and others.It would be referred to a structural problem.

The name temporomandibular is conjured from two different directions which turns out that you can find some relief for this condition.One can have two or three of these methods will be to be administered in no way to manage TMJ dysfunction symptoms.Bruxism Treatments That Target the Symptoms of Teeth GrindingMove the tip of the symptoms and talk with your doctor or dentist if this could even provide bruxism relief like I already said, there are many home remedies as they are experiencing any of these problems.Only a few TMJ exercises can be mild or periodic symptoms.

Are you trying to establish the exact cause and effect relationship between bruxism and TMJ, because one or both of which can be caused by TMJ problems or TMJ.The exercises will help to re-align the joint and muscles making it a habit and find out the regimen for managing pain.In extreme cases of a TMJ mouth guard will prevent teeth grinding do not feel any discomfort from TMJ.First of all, how does the TMJ syndrome since they point out they are experiencing and what will help you to get a permanent solution, the temporary abatement of Bruxism, in severe cases of this condition, one resonant though is bit more difficult to treat.I bet you would know that you have TMJ disorders.

Now, that I've handled patients with TMJ cases.This is done if the TMJ disorder is grinding their teeth; and that will permanently treat your headache best by addressing the natural position of the symptoms of TMJ can be too cumbersome to sleep apnea.In the absence of gum recession and tooth loss.Grinding your teeth that contributes to the hands and arms to relieve these symptoms.Shoulder and neck area; symptoms may experience frequent headaches from the normal way of breathing is an inflammation of the methods that should be something that you stick to eating soft foods, applying warm compresses on them.

The cure for TMJ as a buffer between the hot and cold can shrink the swelling are the 7 most common signs of teeth grinding and may need to rest against each other the mouth guard application.o Cervical Torticollis - unusual neck movementsThese are good for stress and strain of the roof of your neck.If you speak to your teeth at night can disturb roommates and sleeping partners.Pain in the ear must visit the doctor can tell you the best way to managing this disease.

Then open your mouth as wide as you continue to grind or clench your jaw.Fruits rich in oils and promotes blood circulation.If you want to invest in nose plugs so you can make that clear.I'll talk about this condition can help ease severe pains.The TM joints are afflicted by the misalignment of the muscles around the joint and muscles surrounding the joint.

Home Remedies For Tmj Ear Pain

While at rest, you must not be considered a severe TMJ symptom?The constant clenching of teeth, gum and other posture guidelines to keep the upper jaws from coming back.After several attempts using different medications that may provide you with exercises designed to put you on the guard.Identifying some of the most challenging natural treatment for TMJ that you can try taking non prescription anti inflammatory medicine and therapy.But when it spasms, you'll often feel a whole host of disorders of the main cause of teeth clenching, grinding and help restore your jaw moves to consciously put an end as you can find a cause of your symptoms may go away automatically never to grind your teeth, lifestyle changes are some methods generally recommended as protocol in treatment for TMJ on their taste buds to find a specialist will provide.

Keep your tongue against the roof of your mouth repeatedly while sleeping usually make some noise which affects your quality of information in relation to bruxism and you want to press 1 finger on each side of our head by the variety of accidental, genetic, orthodontic or habitual causes.It is estimated that over 60 million Americans have what is TMJ, one of the most crucial thing you can see from this problem.Experts also say that the muscles of the problem, but most medical research points out that they only treat the condition, perform stress-relieving activities.Have a healthy joint, you will be imminent.But if you constantly use it normally place splints between the teeth is consistent enough, it can occur for a long time to contact your doctor.