#this guy made a whole list of it and seems to think his smol boi joker was raped by his psychiatrist

[mx-paint]

.

[shoyodon]

hi! your inarizaki manager headcanons were super cute so i was wondering if I could request headcanons or a scenario idm! of inarizaki maybe accidentally making their smol manager cry? 🥺

𝐈𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐲

Warnings: Language, Atsumu being mean

WC: 1.5k

Genre: Angst if you squint, fluffy ending

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one! Thank you for the awesome req anon 💞

It had been a long day for everyone, the summer camp was grueling. The first two days of the week-long camp had been going alright, however the boys had lost a lot more games than they had originally anticipated. They just couldn’t seem to get into the groove of it, and it was putting everybody in a slump.

 The night of the second day of camp really put everyone on edge. Kita had called everyone, including you to the room they had been staying in to talk over why they have been in this slump and maybe find a solution. Opposing views on why the team was lacking during the past few days surfaced and Atsumus pessimistic attitude set something off in Suna, which resulted in the boys arguing.

Osamus bad habit of instigating emerged, which escalated the argument to a point where Kitas yelling would only fuel the argument more, which, in turn, made Aran try to calm Kita down, that then led to the two of them also arguing. Hitoshi had enough and left the room for a walk around the building, not even wanting to risk getting involved. Michinari and Ren sat with you in the corner, in silence, Michinari chose to stay purely for entertainment purposes, and Ren just wanted to sleep. 

As you turned to spark conversation with Ren a loud slap echoed through the room. Quickly your head snapped back to the group of boys. It took a couple of seconds to register what was happening. Everyone stood in silence and shock as Suna held his fist, Atsumu gripping his cheek. 

He glared at Suna before reeling back his arm to throw a punch towards him, Kita quickly grabbed his fist and shoved him against the wall, Aran dragged Suna outside, and Ren quickly scrambled up to follow the two boys. 

“I don’t know what the fuck you two think you’re doing but I will absolutely not hesitate to tell coach and get you both kicked off of this fucking team! We aren’t fucking middle schoolers Atsumu! When we have a problem we talk it out like adults we don’t start throwing fucking punches ESPECIALLY when you two are fucking teammates!” Kita yells, barely taking a breath between words. 

“If this shit continues the rest of camp you are both off the team. And you...we will have words.” Kita hisses, directing his final words at Osamu. Kita exits the room, leaving only The Miyas, you, and Michinari. 

Quietly, you shuffle towards Atsumu, who had slumped himself against the wall, sitting on the floor while cupping his cheek. “A-Atsumu…” you whisper, slowly sitting down in front of him while Osamu stands behind you. Slowly you reach your hand out, “Can I...take a look at your cheek for you..? I should bandage it before it starts bruising..” 

Gently you move to place your hand over his and right as the pads of your fingers touch his hand he slaps it away, scattering onto his feet. “Don’t fucking touch me. Get the fuck away from me..” He hisses at you, glaring down at you from above “I just-” “You just what? You’re only here because no other fucking club wanted you around! You thrive on the attention we give you in exchange for what? You nagging at us all hours of the fucking day? Give me a break, you have to be the most annoying girl I've ever met.” 

It takes him a couple seconds to realize what he said, both him and Osamu are silent. Michinar had been slowly making his way out of the room, the door slightly ajar, but he, too, was now frozen in shock. Tears brimmed the corner of your eyes until they overflowed. 

Quickly you stood up, running out of the half open door to be faced with the rest of the team who seemingly heard the whole thing. Too ashamed to look up at them you ran past, leaving the building. “I'll get her.” Aran spoke up, running in the direction you left while the rest of the team filed back into the room. 

Atsumu stood, dejected, arms hanging by his sides with a look of regret on his face. “I didn't mean it..” He whispers. Kita sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We know that. She's the only person that could truly ever put up with you...but she doesn’t. And you know how she is. She's going to take it to heart, because it's coming from someone she looks up to.” he whispers.

 Atsumu runs his hands over his face, sitting back on the ground. “Let's give her time...Let Aran work his magic.” Hitoshi says lightheartedly, sitting back on his mat.

-

The next day the team gets a very harsh scolding from their coach, the majority were issued warnings and went on their way. During the first couple hours of practice you were nowhere to be seen. After lunch the coach had called the boys for another meeting back in their room. He sat on the floor, placing his hands on his lap. “Can someone explain to me why Y/n just let me know that after the camp ends she will be resigning from her position?”

Almost immediately everyones heart simultaneously dropped, pure shock riddled with everyone's features. “Sh-she what?” Kita stutters out. “She told me today at lunch that she didn’t feel as though she was the correct person for the job, and that the team needed someone better. She offered me a list of potential new managers, however I feel like this has something to do with the fight that happened last night..” 

The boys all looked at Atsumu and he quickly got up, exiting the room before running to the managers quarters. When he got there he knocked twice, opening it quickly to find you sitting alone on your mat, looking through a list of potential club options. “Y/n!” “A-ah...Atsumu, good afternoon..” you mutter, looking up at him then quickly looking back down. 

“Why are you leaving the club? You know we need you-w-we’d be a mess if you didn’t take care of us like you do..” he stutters. Walking towards you slowly and sitting in front of you on the mat “You guys will be alright, it's not like I do much anyways...I gave a list of some really talented first years to the coach that should be an even better replacement.” “We want you! Y/n I know I said some really...really terrible things but I promise you I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just angry and I had been bottling it all up since we got here and I took it out on you and it wasn't fair. You take such good care of us...You make us each feel cared for and you do everything we ask of you and go above and beyond..You hold us together and.. We will never have a manager that could even compare to you...you’re also...our friend...and i’d hate to see you leave because I was acting like a fucking idiot. Please forgive me.” 

Stifling a sob, you nod. Atsumu wasn't one to show vulnerability to people, you and Osamu were the exception. His words were genuine, and you knew it by the way he looked you in the eyes when he spoke. 

He pulls you in for a tight hug, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. “So you'll stay with the team?” he whispers. “I couldn't just leave my family like that..” you whisper. “If you say some stupid shit like that to Y/n again I wont hesitate to break your nose next time.” A voice speaks up that you immediately identified as Sunas. 

As you looked up, the team was standing at the door, half smiles resting on their lips. “Don't think about leaving us like that again..i'd hate to have those sleepovers at my place monthly if you weren't helping me keep an eye on these idiots.” Kita speaks up, earning a giggle from you. 

You wave the boys over and they all shuffle in, sitting with you. “Let's work really hard the rest of the camp okay? Afterwards I think we need some serious bonding time so I say...Weekend road trip to the beach?” “Fine by me if Kita and Samu drive!” “That was the plan Michinari, you'd kill us halfway there..” “We have to split the Miyas up-” “I call Y/n in my car!” “rock paper scissors over her!” “I'm going in Kita’s car-” “Can we please resume practice now?” the coaches voice calls out through the room, his tone light, a smile adorning his features as you all turn to look at him. 

The team nods, still holding their conversation about seating on the trip down to the beach, and over the next few days they were able to get it back together, surprising the other teams there with the sudden difference in skill. 

You really were the thing that held these boys together.

and they couldn’t ask for a better manager, or a more reliable friend.

[passable-talent]

Is this even necessary? Yes please part 6!!!

and so we return, one whole month later

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 |

After Azula’s attack, and the forced flee from the Western Air Temple, you spent a few days being pissed at Zuko. Like, really pissed. You didn’t speak to him at all. This was something that concerned and confused the prince, because it had seemed like the two of you were making real progress only a few nights before.

What had happened?

He didn’t try to fix it before he left with Katara. Partially, he thought, to give you space, and because he assumed that your issue would be easier to fix than Katara’s. So for a day or so you simmered, just like you had back at the Western Air Temple, rage as always masking your hurt.

When he returned, and things with Katara settled down, he found you perched among the jagged stones that lined the pathway up to his family’s old vacation home. You were still hidden here, but felt even excluded from the team, which let you think, and sulk.

“Y/N,” he said, announcing his presence as he climbed up the rock. You had your back to him, and your shoulders tensed up. You didn’t face him.

“What do you want,” you asked, giving him a shoulder so cold he’d lose his firebending.

“I want to know why you’re angry with me,” he said, and you looked up at the sky, frustrated, as though he should clearly know without you needing to tell him.

“That so?” You spat, and as you weren’t wearing shoes, you sensed as he walked closer to you, arms at his sides. It seemed he was attempting to be non-threatening.

“Yes. I realized I’ve done a lot of explaining, and not much listening. Whatever is keeping you so angry at me, I’ll listen.” You fixed your gaze to the stone in front of you, glaring, before you shut your eyes tightly. Your fists tightened up, and you brought your arms to your chest, and it was like your body was contracting to prepare for an explosion.

It was.

“You want to know why I’m angry with you?” You shouted, turning around while throwing your hands down to your sides, “it’s because you’re so stupid!” Your gaze avoided his, but not purposefully, instead because your anger manifested in rapid movements while you spoke. “You get ambushed by your psychopathic sister, who has been known to manipulate you, and you- you go after her anyway?” You held up your hand, four fingers shown to him, just in case he’d forgotten how to count.

“She had four airships. And you had nothing. No backup. You didn’t let Aang or I follow you, and you charge off into battle.” You leaned forward, a snarl on your lips.

“I watched you fall. I thought you died!” With the final exclamation of your anger, you stepped forward and shoved him backwards, but with a twist of your planted front foot you moved out of the way some of the jagged rocks he might’ve stumbled or fallen onto. Anger finally released, your expression turned to one of pain, of fear, of sadness.

“You told me you’d make it up to me. You can’t do that if you’re dead.” You turned to the side, now avoiding his gaze as he collected himself from the ground, and felt tears begin to fall.

“For so long I mourned Lee, right? Thought that the guy I loved was gone, because who you are isn’t who he was. And I finally figure out that that’s not true, that you are almost as good as I thought you were, and then I think you’ve died...” you trailed off, wiping the wetness of your face with a roll of your shoulder.

“I’ve already mourned Lee, I cant mourn Zuko, too, okay? I don’t want you to die, especially not by something stupid, like charging into a battle you couldn’t win.” You turned your eyes back to him, and found him staring at you, an expression you’d never quite seen on his face. It wasn’t a clear expression that you could pin, other than that he looked so... young. Surprised, almost.

“What?” You asked, voice still a bit jumpy from being choked up.

“You said you loved me.” It took a mental backtrack through your words to realize that you had, indeed.

“Zuko...” you breathed, and you turned toward the horizon, where the sun had long ago dunked into the ocean but still it reddened the sky. You brought your hands to the other’s bicep, as though it could help you protect your heart, and you forced some of your own hesitation away as you breathed out.

“Zuko, I loved you,” you admitted, finally, and that rush of it almost made tears re-emerge. “I did. You were sweet and funny and we got on so well.” You heard him step toward you, and you looked away from where he was near to being. “But the reality I thought I was living in... the floor fell out from under me. The Dai Li were secretive, and they weren’t what I thought they were. Iroh wasn’t just a kind old man, but was a fire nation general. The new leader of the Dai Li wasn’t a brilliant young soldier, but was a fire nation princess. A manipulative and snakish warrior who wanted to topple the earth kingdom. There was a war going on I’d never even heard of!” After the volume of your statement drained away, you hung your head, closing your eyes before your gaze could find the ground.

“And I wouldn’t have minded finding out you were the prince of the fire nation. Some part of me says I should’ve figured it out myself. What hurt me was that... you had so much more anger than I thought you did. Sure, you could be moody, but when we found you in those catacombs, the way you looked at Aang...” You let out a breath, and opened your eyes to look out over the ocean.

“I didn’t know you could be so... malicious. It was something I’d never seen from you before.” You turned your gaze to him, and let your mind wander to the moment when you stood between him and Katara, when Aang was dying. You remembered that predatory look in his eye.

“Did you even see me, that day? Or could you only think about getting to Aang?”

He didn’t answer, and you spared him from needing to. You didn’t think you wanted to know his answer.

“I think that I’ve blamed you for everything that went wrong that day. Aang’s death, your betrayal, the Dai Li’s betrayal. And I guess that isn’t fair. But I can’t seem to let it go.” You felt tears well up again, and Zuko slowly slipped his hand into yours.

“I want to forgive you,” you said, squeezing your palm around his fingers, “I want to let go of all this anger, and grief, a-and confusion, but I look at you and I... I see this boy who made the wrong choice. And that’s so frustrating, because you’ve made the right choice, again and again, you’ve defended us and helped us and fought alongside us. It’s not fair of me to focus on your mistakes when you’ve been making up for them.” You took a deep breath, and with its shaky exhale, let go of some of the sadness still clawing at you.

“I just want to let it go, so I can love you again.” There was an instant’s pause, when the prince took in your words, an instant’s pause in which the waves crashed on the shoreline and a bird cawed overhead. An instant’s pause, and then Zuko tugged you by the hand into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around you. You hugged him back, tightly, almost squishing his torso into yours while a final few trembling breaths fought their way out of your lungs.

“I’m sorry,” he said to your shoulder, and you could hear emotion in his voice. “You deserve so much better than me. I’m so sorry. I- Y/N, I loved you then, too. If it weren’t for you, I might not have had the courage to leave the fire nation. You helped me change, and you didn’t even know it. Please, please don’t be mad at yourself.”

“I’m glad I met you,” you whispered, when a few moments had gone by.

“Me too,” he said back, laying his face down and into the crook of your neck.

You could’ve stood there and hugged him forever. You could’ve stayed in his arms, where you knew it was safe to be conflicted. He understood, and didn’t ask you to change, or make a decision. Maybe Zuko was better than Lee after all- he was flawed, but he chose to overcome those flaws and be a better person in spite of them.

It made him stronger. And, you thought, it would make you stronger.

Your heart had been broken. You’d been lied to, and cast aside. But you found it in yourself to forgive him, and to be honest with him, and to keep him close to you.

“Zuko?”

“Hmm?” You pulled from his chest, your eyes dry of their tears but heart still raw and open. You were ready to forgive him, and to move forward.

But there was one more thing.

“I need you to tell me what happened to Iroh.”

request for pt 7

edit: pt 7 requested!!

edit: | part 7 | part 8 |

-🦌 Roe

tag list- @furblrwurblr @eridanuswave @bernadineisreborn @angxlicwanda @lmaoashley-blog @celamoon @mywigglybaby @silentwhispofhope @the-girl-in-the-box @mavix @eury-dice3 @ninipoo1 @bigbuckyenergy @lucensei @srgania @uncovered-mad-man @11mb0 @pillowjj @ilovespideyyy @heavensgaymenace @thearachna-kid @llama2264 @anime-simp @akariblue @lostgirlheart @kacchasu @jainaixo @ctrl-alt-jeon @tadpoledancer @i-bitch-you-bitch @wetleafwrites @vintageroses1014516 @kittyddandnyla @smol-vy @lana-isabelle @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[wonderland-in-bloom]

kingyo-chan...literally

[second year boys]

HEEEEEEY GUYS!!!! (i promise requests will be opened soon) so this is going to be something a little bit different! as many of you know, i usually write reader inserts but today i decided to be writing something with just the boys for the sake of fueling my satisfaction of interactions with the boys, and idk i felt like writing something for myself today~ and i have a smol question....are y’all okay w/ chara x chara? like yaoi/bl/shounen ai bla bla (although a is still kinda confused who she ships who with lol) i’ll also happily take requests of a canon chara x canon chara (if y’all are comfortable w/ it of course) :))

this oneshot will consist of the second years: riddle, ruggie, the octavinelle trio, the scarabia duo, and silver! and i’ll be labeling this oneshot in my masterlist as twst boys!

anyways hope you guys enjoy this -3-

♡

“LISTEN up you dogs!” a very familiar scream pierced the air and made its way into all of the student’s ears. divus crewel officially started class. today was quite a special occasion as the whole second years had a conjoined alchemy class. azul was thrilled, after all it was his best and most liked subject, thus he was just beyond excited. he wondered what kind of task professor crewel would give them that day. “today we’ll be focusing on a potion which can transform those who drink it into mermen.” 

some of the octavinelle students cheered, including the octavinelle trio. “yay!!! maybe we can use this to bring some of the students down back to our home hmm?” floyd cheered. “indeed, floyd. it will certainly be interesting.” jade added. “however!” professor crewel’s voice boomed again. “i will be picking your partners.” groans could be heard around the room. “damn it! i can’t be with you then jamil.” kalim whined. jamil awkwardly chuckled but thought to himself, thank god. riddle was panicking to himself and fidgeting immensely. please don’t let me be stuck with floyd. please don’t let me be stuck with floyd. please don’t let me be stuck with floyd. PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT! professor crewel took out the list of names written on parchment paper. he cleared his throat and this was when riddle started to feel even more anxious. “jamil viper and azul ashengrotto.” jamil sighed in relief. he didn’t have to be in such a hassle. azul just smirked. jamil was a clever person, and they wouldn’t have any problems working together. 

“jade leech and kalim al-asim.” kalim cheered. “pleasure working with ya, jade!” jade just smiled. “of course. the pleasure is mine.” yes it was rather a chaotic pair...but at least it wasn’t going to be that disastrous. “ruggie bucchi and silver.” ruggie sighed. he didn’t exactly have a problem with silver but they weren’t that well acquainted either. he was just thankful he didn’t get someone problematic or chaotic. riddle sunk in his chair. he knew exactly what this meant. professor crewel went through all the names of the students, and riddle knew that everyone had a pair. and all that was left....was floyd. “floyd leech and riddle rosehearts.” riddle slammed his head on the table, causing a student beside him to jump in shock. “why out of all people...why?!” he muttered to himself. he soon felt an arm slung around his shoulders. “yaaaaay! it looks like we’re a pair kingyo-chan!” please kill me now.

“fufufu, it seems as if riddle-kun and floyd are a pair.” azul chuckled as he stared at the two. jamil was already up and ready and lit the flame to the cauldron. the two of them knew it was going to be easy peasy. “i hope nothing bad goes wrong.” jamil just sighed as azul started to read out the instructions for the potion. “ah kalim-san, please be careful.” kalim jumped back from the lit up flame below the cauldron. “phew! almost got burnt there.” jamil’s ears twitched and furrowed his eyebrows as his furiously threw the ingredients into the cauldron. “it’ll be alright, jamil-kun.” azul assured him. “hopefully.” he mumbled to himself as he started to stir the concoction. 

“ah, one fish tail please silver-san.” ruggie and silver did surprisingly well. ruggie just read the instructions out loud while silver just followed in pursuit and did everything ruggie said. surprisingly, they worked well together compared to the other pairs. “do i stir now?” ruggie shook his head. “it says here to wait for thirty seconds.” they were actually functioning properly. who would guess? as ruggie was about to stop the stopwatch, his ears perked up as he heard a shriek from beside him. “WAAAA~I THOUGHT YOU SAID LIZARD’S TAIL?!”  kalim was panicking as he put in the wrong ingredient into the cauldron. jade was trying his best to calm him down but also not lose his shit. “kalim-san, it’ll be alright. we’ll just conjure another batch after this.” jamil heard all of this from where he stood and gripped the wooden stirrer so tight it was almost crushed under his grip. “i do not trust anyone else to be his partner. not even myself at times.” he was basically just a tired mom at this point. poor jamil. 

meanwhile over at floyd and riddle’s cauldron, it was quiet. awkwardly quiet. by the power of the queen of hearts, please don’t let anything bad happen. riddle kept to himself and stirred the potion. “ne, ne, kingyo-chan~ aren’t you excited to try this potion out?” riddle gulped. “it’s against the protocols for students to be trying out the potions without official permission from the professor. besides, we better be careful to not get in contact with the potion, or else...” floyd pouted as he started to pour the concoction into a vial. at first he carefully eyed which one but eventually got bored and distracted from his task. he didn’t even look at where he was pouring the potion until he heard a gasp from beside him. riddle was covered in their potion. “uh oh...” there was a poof of red colored smoke. when the smoke cleared, floyd looked down to see...a small red goldfish flopping on the floor. “k...kingyo...chan?” he scooped up the little goldfish in his arms. it continued to flop around. 

“but the potion was supposed to make you into a merman...not an actual goldfish...” floyd wondered to himself as he stared at the small fish in his hands. riddle wasn’t able to speak but he was thinking to himself how much he needed water. if he could speak, he would scream at floyd and demand to put him in water. he was a fish after all. but alas he wasn’t able to and just continued flopping around. “what happened here...OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!” azul came over to see what happened and his jaw dropped when he saw the goldfish in floyd’s hands. “riddle-kun....is now a kingyo.” azul panicked. “JAMIL-KUN GET SOME WATER IN A LARGE BEAKER. NOW.” jamil heard the panic and worry in azul’s voice and rushed. 

he ran, water occasionally spilling out of the beaker but he managed to make it in time for azul to scoop up ‘riddle’ from floyd’s arms and into the beaker. he was able to swim around now and breathe. phew. he was safe. “HOW ON EARTH DID THIS HAPPEN?!” azul screamed slightly, getting attention from the other students. “oya oya, floyd what did you do?” jade sighed as he saw the commotion. “WAAAAAH! IS THAT RIDDLE-KUN?!” kalim gasped as he tried to get a better look at the goldfish in the beaker held by jamil. “KALIM! OI! CAREFUL!” jamil scolded him as he tried to steadily hold the beaker. professor crewel stepped closer to the incident. he scolded floyd for being so irresponsible and not careful, but also riddle for not watching what floyd was doing. in the end, he just told azul and jamil to quickly come up with an antidote to reverse the mess. meanwhile ruggie and silver were watching from afar. 

“shishishishi, i wonder what they got wrong.” silver took a closer look from where the two of them were standing. he glanced at their cauldron. floyd and riddle’s potion was raspberry in color, while silver and ruggie’s were a mauve color. the instructions stated that the mauve color was how the final potion should be. he then remembered how the color was a raspberry-like color before they added the fish tail. “ah. they forgot the fish tail.” ruggie thought about it for a while before he snapped his fingers. “of course! good analysis silver-san!” 

“sheesh, what is with everyone else and the fish tail. such an easy task to do but everyone apparently messes it up. shishishsi what an interesting day today is.” 

♡

yours truly wants to make a comic w/ astra and le boys but haduh the dedication isn’t there ;-;

love, a♕

[sweethq]

♡ When they give you head pats  // headcanon

❝fluffy hcs of reader getting head pats from kenma, nishi, and hinata… 🥺👉👈 ❞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* requested by: anonymous *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

𑁍 Characters: Kozume Kenma, Nishinoya Yū, Hinata Shōyō

»»—Trigger warning(s): none —-««

➶ Genre: fluffffff

-ˏˋ A/N: I was kinda worried on how this would turn out but I think it’s really cute 🥺 ˊˎ-

you and kenma met in your first year of high school when you were paired together for a project

things were really awkward at first because he like,, never talks lol

buuuut when you went to his house after school to work on the project you noticed all of his video games lying around and thought that it would be a good conversation starter

and oh boy were you correct

you could ask him about any game and he could talk about it for so long, like a solid 2 minutes

you had just met kenma, but something about him intrigued you and it made you happy to see how passionate he was about his games???

you didn’t know much about video games, and hadn’t really played any, but you wanted that to change

minecraft was the only game you knew anything about since it was fairly popular and a friend of yours had shown you a video or two

kenma told you that if you wanted to get an account, that he would teach you how to become a master

sooooooooo that's what you did

you bought the game (spending a whole ass $27 just so you could bond with kenma smh) and hung out with him a lot just so you could get the basics down

he decided that it would be fun to play on a public server instead of creating your own world, so you hopped on the server of kenma’s choice and followed his lead

he insisted that you guys play survival games first since the point of it is straightforward: collect items from chests and try to kill people. simple.

you somehow managed to die within the first 15 seconds, so you demanded that you play another round

each round came and went, all of them resulting in you dying without being able to so much as hit another player, and kenma coming in top 3 each time

you were starting to get frustrated that you couldn’t even complete the simple task of playing this game correctly, but you were not going to quit

you made it your goal to get at least one kill, no matter how long it took

you and kenma played this game for longer than you’d like to admit, but you gradually got the hang of it and came closer and closer to your goal

on game #3545632 you finally managed to kill someone!!!! and after that, you got another kill!!

you couldn’t help but jump up and down with excitement, so happy that your hard work paid off

“kenma!!!!! did you see that??!?!?! i got two kills that round, TWO!”

“i’m so proud of you”

he gave you a soft smile and a smol pat on the head

you froze and nearly passed out on the spot

you hadn’t known kenma for long, but you knew him long enough to know that he never displayed any physical affection with anyone and that it took a lot for him to even give the smallest smile

and you just managed to get both of those things from him

now that you reached your goal of getting a kill in minecraft survival games, your next goal is to now receive another head pat from kenma

you and noya have been friends since you were in 4th grade

he lived across the street from you, so you guys would do everything together

his energy and bright personality were infectious, causing you to be the same way when you’re together

but recently, life has been kicking your ass

it started to feel like nothing was going your way, everything you did just didn’t seem to work out

you failed a test that you studied so damn hard for, you got caught in the rain walking home from school and all of your notebooks got ruined, you had two pieces of bread left so you threw them in the toaster and they burnt

the list just keeps going on and on

you were usually one who didn’t have a problem with keeping your emotions under wraps, but they started to pile up and one night, the dam broke

you were at noya’s house for a movie night when it happened

there you were, watching Paul Blart Mall Cop when you suddenly burst into tears

poor noya was so flustered at the sudden change of emotions and had no idea what was happening or what to do

it had been years since he had seen you cry

of course, like a lot of people, you had your fair share of cries throughout the years, but you always made sure to do it when you were by yourself, scared to burden others with your emotions

noya was SO sad to see his best friend this upset, he knew that you had to have been going through a lot to make you suddenly cry in front of him

he kinda just sat there staring at you at first lol because he didn’t know what to do?????

usually he would just crack some stupid jokes to make you smile, but something told him that this wasn’t the correct time for that

he decided that what you needed most was comfort, so he scooted closer to you and pulled you into a hug

a memory flooded back to him from when you guys were kids and you were upset

he would hug you and give you little pats on the head and it made you instantly feel better

it had been years since he last did that, but he thought it was worth a try

he raised his hand and gave your head a comforting *pat pat*

he could feel you smile against his chest and your breathing become calmer

noya continued to pat your head gently, making a mental note that this was the key to your happiness haha

you had just met hinata recently since you were in the same class and were assigned to sit next to each other

you guys clicked instantly, loving his bright and bubbly personality

he would tell you about his life; hobbies, family, passions

and of course, the thing he told you was most important to him was volleyball

that sparked your interest because you always loved to watch volleyball on tv and even go see some local matches

but you had never played, mostly because you never had anyone to teach you

sooooooo now that you have hinata by your side, you didn’t waste time in asking him to show you the ropes

he was so excited !!!!!!!

he’s never had someone ask him for help with volleyball, and he was determined to be the best damn teacher in the world

it took a lot of practice, and you started off slow

you practiced receiving, diving, serving, and lastly, spiking

suga helped you guys out with being your setter (kageyama refused to spend any more time with hinata than he already had to, plus, he had to go to supplementary classes lol)

the first fifty balls that suga set for you were missed

whether it was because you got the timing wrong, you didn’t jump high enough, or you just completely miss the ball (lmao me)

hinata would give you tips and pointers in between tosses, not wanting you to feel down about yourself or give up

after many many missed chances, you finally got a spike in

and it was a pretty damn good spike too

you felt ecstatic, but hinata seemed even happier than you

you could practically see the sparkle in his eyes

“oH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!! YOU WERE LIKE WHOOSH AND THEN BAM! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!”

runs over to you and tackles you in a hug and give you a pat on the head, his eyes squinting into crescents as he gives you the biggest smile

you blush when he pats you on the head aww

every time you hit a really good spike he give you a little *pat pat*

and you LOVE it, it makes you feel all nice and warm inside

you use that as your motivation to hit every ball that suga sets as if your life depends on it

───

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[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Horror Night

Call It What You Want (1/?)

Series Masterlist

Summary: College AU where you meet Poe for the first time and you find out he isnt a fan of horror movies.

Pairing: Poe x Reader

A/N: I literally tried watch clips from the nun at 3am trying to reference scenes for this then gave up cos Valak is the scariest shit ive ever seen in my life istg 

Warning: swearing, fluff

Word count: ~1.5k

Autumn nights weren’t exactly your favourite, especially when you are not going to spend it curled up in your bed with a mug of tea, reading your favourite book. Yet here you were on a friday night, in a movie theatre. Rey stands beside you, an arm hooked around yours, chatting away about her day as the two of you wait your turn in the line.

You know Rey chose a horror movie for you, just so she could convince you to third wheel her and Finn. You didn’t mind them though. They were a sweet couple, not the type to be too absorbed in each other and totally ignore your presence. And you loved them both way too much to deny them anything.

“Oh! And Finn’s bringing a friend too, so we need to get four tickets,” Rey tells you.

“Great! Now I have to socialize?” Rey just rolls her eyes at you. It wasn’t exactly her fault that you weren’t feeling so chirpy at the time. Okay, maybe a little bit. She had been the one to drag you all the way here after a long day of lectures and presentations, not even letting you stop by your dorm to change into something more comfy. You are a little overdressed for going to the movies but you wouldn’t have minded your outfit too much if it wasn’t for the demon spawn heels, murdering your feet.

Now that your fantasy of curling up in the theater seat with a popcorn bucket, all to yourself and tuning out everyone else was crushed, your mood considerable darkened.

“Hey, come on. Poe’s a nice guy, you’ll like him.” Rey tries to convince you. Oh well, looks you were finally going to meet the Poe Dameron. The guy who Finn just can’t stop gushing about in the few months you’ve known him. At least you’ll be able to put a face to the name after today.

The two of you settle on a couch just outside the screening room with your snacks and tickets, waiting for the boys who are now running late. Traffic, apparently. Rey shifts the popcorn further from your reach when you try to swipe some from her.

“We need some left for when we’re watching the movie,” she chides, knowing how fast you can munch through your snacks.

“Are they always this late?” You whine, dramatically flinging yourself back into the couch. Rey chuckles at your antics, so used to them by now.

You hear Finn’s laughter before you see him. And who he’s with. 

Oh shit.

Now you were sure the universe hated you. It just so happened to be that Finn’s best friend was the hot stranger you had managed to thoroughly embarrass yourself in front of, barely a week ago. Sleep deprived you, had lost your footing, clumsily tumbling down half a flight of stairs. Luckily, you had escaped with just a few bruises. Unluckily, you had an audience the entire time. You were on the floor when that gorgeous face came into view, asking you if you were alright and you had stuttered and stumbled over your words, face going red with embarrassment.

Before you could consider running away and hiding somewhere, his gaze falls on you, eyes widening in recognition. Oh well, too late. Much to your dismay, the first words out of his mouth were, “You’re that girl from the stairs!”. 

Finn catches on quickly, “That was you?” and doubles over laughing at your expense while his friend gives you an apologetic smile. A smile that made his big brown eyes crinkle at the corners, making you fight to keep your cool because how the hell can someone be so hot and so cute at the same goddamn time? Unaware of your inner turmoil, he introduces himself to you.

“Sorry, I’m Poe Dameron,” you give him your name in return, trying not to cringe at the whole exchange. 

And Rey. She greets Poe, then just watches you, smirking like she knew something you didn’t. When you told her about the incident, you may or may not have referred to Poe as a fallen angel, and literally Adonis. And professed your desire to, quote, pull on those luscious dark curls. So she had witnessed you thirsting over her boyfriend’s best friend. Great. The only consolation was that Finn didn’t know about that, or at least you hope he didn’t.

Finn finally collects himself, and Rey passes the ticket around, announcing that you were going to be late if you stood around any longer. You don’t miss the way Poe frowns at the ticket and whispers a “Oh,”. Before you can ask him if everything was alright, Rey links arms with you, as she drags along to the screening room.

---

Poe is sitting beside you and he is tense. He had already shifted in his seat at least thrice in the first five minutes of the movie. 

By the time the four of you had walked into the movie theater, the lights were already dimmed and you had stumbled along in the dark after Finn trying to find your seats. And by the time you were seated, you realised you were sandwiched between Finn and Poe, and since Fin had turned all of his attention on Rey, you were left alone with Poe.

He had apologized for the whole debacle outside and you assured him it wasn’t a problem. That wasn’t the first time Finn had made fun of you for something anyways. The two of you made small talk before the movie started and turned you attention to the screen when it began. Poe, however, had gone rigid.

He was clearly not having fun. You feel sorry for him everytime he jolts at every jump scare. You feel him lean towards you under the pretense of resting his arm on the arm rest between your seats, his wide eyes never leaving the screen. You press your lips together, trying not to laugh out loud because you are paying more attention to his reactions to the movie than to the movie itself, popcorn laying forgotten between you both.

“You okay there?” He coughs to cover up the audible gasp that leaves his lips at your sudden interruption.

“Um ya, great!” 

“Not a fan of horror?” 

“That obvious huh?” His bashful smile makes your heart flutter. Before you could second guess yourself, you shift the popcorn bucket to your other hand and hook an arm around his on the arm rest. The weight of his shoulders pressing against yours and his body radiating warmth immediately feels like a safety blanket over you and you hope he feels the same way.

“Does this help?” You pray you aren’t making him uncomfortable as you look up at him and your doubts melt away at the soft smile on his face, his posture considerably more relaxed. 

Then he completely catches off guard as he laces his fingers with yours, warm skin brushing over your, the few callouses between his fingers, a contrast to the smoothness of him palms. You’re suddenly so thankful for the long sleeves of your blouse, hiding the goosebumps now rising all over your arm.

“Yeah,” he watches you carefully for any sign that you may not be comfortable, “This helps,” you give him a reassuring smile, despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You can still almost feel the shivers running down his spine whenever Valak shows up on the screen. His grip on your hand is tight but not uncomfortable. Poor Poe was trying so hard to keep it together.

You can tell Poe is not the kind of person to shy away from physical contact from how he didn’t hesitate to take your hand. Or maybe he was just that scared. Regardless, you lean you head against his shoulder, your other hand on his bicep, hoping you weren’t making him uncomfortable or being too touchy. But your doubts evaporate when he leans his head against yours, relaxing further into your touch.

You cannot really process that you were having such a soft, almost intimate moment with the guy you’ve exchanged barely a few words with. It completely ruins the adrenaline rush you were craving from the movie, but you feel way too comfortable to care. Your whole body feels tingly for an entirely different reason. You hadn’t felt like this since-

Now wasn’t the time to think about that. For now, you were busy thinking about how Poe was making your heart skip beats.

—-

Finn’s eyes are glued to the screen, and he has an arm around Rey. He hadn’t watched horror in sometime and is thoroughly enjoying himself and so was Rey. He wonders if Poe would like it.

Oh wait.

He brought Poe to a horror movie. He must be the worst friend in the galaxy, god. Poe hates horror.

“Oh shit,” he turns around to see how he was doing. Then turns back around snickering.

“What’s wrong,” Rey asks, confused with his reaction.

“Oh nothing, I forgot Poe hates horror. But it’s okay, he seems pretty cozy though,”

Rey leans forward to see what Finn was talking about and her eyes widen at the sight of you and Poe almost cuddling each other, your fingers interlocked, leaning on each other. You two did look really cozy. She leans back, jaw slack.

“Cute, right?” Finn asks, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh we might’ve done something,” the cogs in her head turns as she grins back at Finn.

---

Poe Dameron Tag list (open): @writefightandflightclub , @arkofblake , @yougottakeeponkeepinon​ , @multifandomlife22​ , @skymerons​ , @smol-peter-parker

[quietest-rebellion]

Do the chaos household for that character meme you coward

Me upon realizing I have to explain what that is

Basically it's the idea of my fav murder boys having to live together. This being Stefano, Eddie, and Higgs. @christmasace and I came up with this one night and it has been our main source of serotonin since.

I'm going to do the character break downs for them in the context of their original games though. So anyway, buckle in, lads, this'll be a long one. (Eddie and Higgs will be below the cut)

Stefano Valentini

How I feel about this character

Fav. Favest of favs. I would willingly die for this man in a heartbeat. His voice? Beautiful. His personality? Snarky. His art? Breath taking. The way that he has to fix his hair after getting shot with a smoke bolt? Hilarious. Me? I'm in love. Also the fact he put jokes outside of the theater is iconic. Anyway, Stefano was an appealing character from the moment I first saw him in Markiplier's playthrough. I didn't realize I'd fallen until I started crying at his death and Mark was like "I don't even feel a little bad!" Because then I was like "oh shit why am I crying" Also I believe Stefano is an undiagnosed autistic man with horrible PTSD and brain damage(obviously) and I will die on this hill. I could talk about how I feel about Stefano for pages but I won't right now.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Me. Honestly I feel like Stefano is either an asexual aromantic, who only cares about his art, or he is a raging bisexual who is extremely picky with men since he himself is such a perfect man. As for actual ships though, I feel like Stefano is attracted to Sebastian and flirts with him throughout the game. I just don't really see the idea of Sebastian flirting back. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Emily Lewis. I love the idea of them being in a relationship, official or unofficial, and then things went south and he killed her. Stefano killed a lot of people before being put into STEM, why was this one so special he had to make a series of displays representing her? I don't know, just my thoughts.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

This is gonna sound weird, but I guess Theodore? Look, I just love the idea of Stefano driving Theodore insane and making him regret ever hiring him. And like, all the memes everyone makes about it? Amazing. (A personal favorite, also the one that I made) Plus, "You are special. You've always been special." Yeah, anyway I really need to know what the other half of that conversation was. Does Obscura count? I think she does. I see Stefano and Obscura's relationship being like that of a father and daughter or of a pet and an owner. He just loves her so much and he's so snippy when Sebastian gets to the theater the first time. "You did not appreciate my beautiful Obscura's performance." I imagine if you actually chose to fight and kill her in Ch. 7 he was really upset about it. Guardian is along the same lines as Obscura but I think Obscura has a higher place in his mind. 1. Because she is a camera and takes more photos for him. 2. There is confirmed to be more than one Guardian so he probably doesn't grow overly attached to any particular one, where there is only one Obscura. 3. Stefano seems to love whatever he did most recently the most, which is fair. As an artist, it really just Be Like That.

My unpopular opinion of this character

Unpopular only in the world of the game, but his art is good.  Actual unpopular opinion? Not sure I have one, tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I say it literally all the time but I really want a prequel comic or SOMETHING to tell us more about him as character. What happened to his family? Why did he come to America? What war was he injured in?  Also the idea of him getting some dlc for the second game is still always on my mind, like, it could take place before and during the main game and it’s just us fucking around and making art and then catching Lily and fighting Sebastian. I am not gonna say that he didn’t deserve to die in canon, so really I wouldn’t change that.

Eddie Gluskin

How I feel about this character

Look... uh... I honestly am not sure how to describe my feelings for him. Because on one hand, is a misogynistic asshole who deserves literally everything that happened to him as an adult. But on the other hand, he was an abused child that grew into a hurt and sick adult. Also, when he’s not trying to kill you he is quite the gentleman.  Basically, I love this character, but I have no idea why and am slightly ashamed about it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Literally no one. This man should not be in a relationship with any of the canon characters. I’d like to imagine an AU where he is sane and settled down with a wife and had 2.5 kids and lived together in their house with a white picket fence but that isn’t going to happen obviously.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Look, I know they never interact with each other, but Eddie and Trager. And like, not as friends really but more as weird acquaintances. They talk about surgeries and such, share a drink every now and then, complain about women, etc. 

My unpopular opinion of this character

He’s straight. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I just wish he would’ve been sent to a place that could actually help him instead of Mt. Massive. But then he wouldn’t be in the game, lmao. ALSO, there is a lot of unused Eddie dialogue in the files for the game. I really wish that all of them would have actually been included in the game. Some gems include: “Did I...? Oh lord. I forgot to give you an anesthetic, didn’t I? Eddie, you doofus! Would forget my own head if it was screwed on!” (Timestamp 16:32) “There you go. No, no, don’t cry. You’re not dying. I’m going to make you better.” (Timestamp 10:13) 

Higgs Monaghan

How I feel about this character

Garbage boy stink man. Just a rowdy, dirty boy. Pizza rat. Like, I sometimes have a difficult time imagining that he ran a company before he was a terrorist, because he doesn’t seem like a very organized person. Higgs is so multifaceted it’s impressive. In the game we only really get to see him a this asshole who wants to end the world. In his journals we see his hunt for power and want to be important. In his bunker we see the organized chaos of how his brain worked and how he operated his life. Not to mention the Peter Englert emails that are so well written. Anyway, I love him.  Plus I’m gonna mention something my sister(Thrushheart) pointed out when I was having her watch me play. He is the exact opposite of Sam. Examples: Sam hates being touched or touching people. Higgs is touching people as often as he can, including but not limited to even licking them. Sam is reconnecting the world, at first for Amelie, then for everyone he’s met along the way. Higgs is ending the world, at first for Amelie, then for himself(or possibly still for Amelie). Higgs is loud and bombastic while Sam is more quiet and reserved. Sam is smol and Higgs is tol.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Look, I’m not gonna say that I do or do not ship Goldenbridges. I’m not sure how I feel about it because, as I said, Higgs and Sam are such contrasting personalities I don’t think it would work. Fragile. Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking, but I imagine they were together before he met Amelie. His betrayal would mean even more if this was true. And in his journals he only ever refers to Fragile as “his partner.” Now I know this was done to hide that they were his journals and because they were work partners, but it could also mean more. And of course we can’t forget the somber and clear writing, directly over his bed in his bunker. “Fragile forget you ever met me.” And how surprised he was to see her on the beach after the fight. The sad look he gave her as she caressed his face. Aaahhhh.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I wasn’t sure whether to include Higgs relationship with Amelie here or in the last section. But he quite literally worshiped her and the ground she walked on so  🤷🏻‍♀️  I don’t feel like she ever really gave a fuck about him though. Amelie is extremely manipulative and proves that every time she opens her mouth so I have no doubt she told him whatever he wanted to hear so that he would help her.

The Veteran Porter. If you worked hard enough to get more than one star with this guy, you learn that he used to work for Higgs and that’s why he is reluctant to trust the UCA. I like to think that he and Higgs were good buddies before Amelie.

My unpopular opinion of this character

With likable villains it’s hard to figure what is a popular opinion and what is not. So I’m really not sure. Maybe just that he didn’t get enough screen time?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Redemption ark! Redemption ark! Higgs is the one guy on this list where I’m like, “Okay, he saw the error in his ways. Maybe he gets a second chance.”

______________________________________________________________

Anyway, that’s all of them! If you actually read this whole thing, first of all... wow. Second of all, thanks! Here is a screenshot of these chaos boys from The Sims 4 as your reward. 

[hanniiesuckle17]

i would like to bless your followers and dash, sooo can you give me a crash course in noir 😊😊

OMG YES OFCCCCCC💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

OKAY SO HERE IS THE DEAL

NOIR is a nine-member boy group under Luk Factory

(Not really pleased with how they are promoting my boys but imma get over it one day!)

Our fan name is Lumiere (or Lumi) and we don’t have any official colors or a lightstick yet.

Noir debuted on April 9th of 2018. With the mini-album Twenty’s Noir. Their title debut song was Gansta (SUCHA GOOD VIDEO) 

They also had a predebut song called As a Star and it makes me so soft.

Their next comeback is on the 27th (THIS MONDAY!!!!!!) The album is called Up the Sky and the title track is called Lucifer

IM SO FUCKING EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA

MEMBERS 

Shin Seunghoon

Shin Seunghoon is our precious leader!!!! 

(He was what got me into Noir. I saw a video about the best leaders in kpop and I was like)

He is 27 years old. His birthday is May 30th, 1993 (He is a Gemini)

Boy is tallllllllllllllllllllll

like he’s 5′10.

but in pictures by himself he for real looks like he is 6′2

istg he is like 65% legs.

ALSO MAN AS A RIPPED CHEST SORRY BACK TO REGULARLY SCHEDULED NOIRING

He is the leader, main rapper, and also sometimes a vocalist (but the rappers in this group pretty much fo everything)

HE SPITS FIRE when he wants to. 

Really good at freestyling 

He makes mixtapes on youtube on Noir’s channel. (I think he has 5 out now)

He is a college-educated man!!!! (He went to Korean National Open University

He took taekwondo when he was younger

The man trained for 8 years

He and Hoyeon compose and format a lot of their songs with a team of producers from LUK

(I often think he and Chan from skz are really similar.)

Seunghoon is legit a father of 8 soft crackhead kids. istg he is so done with them most of the time

We call him our koala because he looks like one <3

Seunghoon is obsessed with accessories and wearing them to the point where stylists literally have to take them off of him. (I have never not seen picture of him not wearing jewelry. )

he is actually in the military right now and i miss him so fricking much TT

All in all hot boy on screen and soft dad in real life

Kim Yeonkuk

this boy I cant

Kim Yeonkuk. Damn.

he was on Produce 101 season 2

he was eliminated on ep.5 :(

He is the lead dancer and a vocalist

Yeonkuk is 25 years old. His birthday is February 8, 1995 (An Aquarius)

is totally the aegyo king but denies it

he seems cold at first but has a big ass bright personality its so freakin adorable

my personal favorite clip of him is and the boys dancing around on vlive to big bang and him saying fantastic baby (its sounds so cute when he says it)

He is also a 5′10 tall boy

he trained for 3 years

THIS BOY IS SO FREAKING SKINNY SOMEONE PLEASE EGIVE HIM A HAMBURGER OR SOMETHING TAKE HIM TO TACO BELL

not kidding

his waist is so fucking small its scary.

Yeonkuk=stringbean

literally a walking meme.

pause in any interview and he is pretty much gonna give you a memeable face

this boy is so loveable and goofy 

also if this boy doesn't post like 8 photos of him doing something on insta im convinced he thinks that it just didn’t happen

he never posts just one photo its always like 6-8

also I was highkey afraid he was gonna go bald last comeback when they legit turned his hair into smurfs pubes

Lee Junyong

Lee Junyong. When i say i love this man with my whole heart

also 25 years old

his birthday is March 1st 1995 (Pisces)

another 5′10 king

Main vocalist.

he is a former member of INX

his brother is Seungyong from N.CUS

he trained for 4 years

THIS MAN IS TOO ATTRACTIVE FOR THIS EARTH

vocals for days. VOCALS.FOR.DAYS.

Did a cover of BTS’s The Truth Untold with Siha and literally gives me chills.

He has little crooked front teeth so when he sings he has this tiny little breath in some of the words so his voice is even more distinct

BUT LIKE JUNYONG HAS THE CUTEST SMILE EVER (I love his teeth in that's a weird thing to say but i think they are so cute)

he is 1/2 of the Highnote Belting Club

talks. all. the. freaking. time.

he goes live alot

boy is obsessed with Yunsung someone save yunsung from him

total crackhead when not doing real interviews

never fails to make me smile

he is said to be the moodmaker of the group

APPARENTLY HE WAS IN ONE EPISODE OF MY FAVORITE DRAMA AND I HAD NO IDEA

he was in episode 6 of The Liar and His Lover

overall he is just so sweet and funny and its so easy to love him

Nam Yunsung

Yunsung is the Lead vocalist and Visual

24 years old His birthday is August 29, 1996

He is a virgooo

MAN IS 6FT EVEN

lead vocalist and LOOKS IT

he is the king of intense eye contact with the camera 

he looks like legit prince charming

2/2 of Highnote Belting Club

weird af

istg he is the biggest crackhead

very extra. (as you can see in gif)

he calls himself a vampire because of his super pale skin

he trained for 4 years

he raps part time

HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS EXCERCISE

he hides snack between his bed and the wall but apparently daewon and junyong steal them

I think he rooms with junyong? not sure

Someone save him from junyong. boy is going to be smothered to death

ngl their relationship is really cute

he was also in Produce 101 S2 but left bc of health issues.

cutest thing ever and then turns into a devil onstage

a literal puppy

he is big fan of ateez and he and another member actually went to the groups first concert in korea

he is just so precious and weird 

Kim Siheon

oml this smol bean

Kim Siheon god damn

He is 23 years old

Birthday is December 23, 1997 (Capricorn like meeeee)

also 5′10 babyy

Vocalist but also a rapper (he rapped suga’s part in their remix of BTS Fake Love)

LIKES TO BIAS WREKC FREAKING EVERYONE

Beware the Siheon

He has a hot older sister, Hanbit, from a group called Hot Place (Their debut song is called TMI and its pretty good.)

HOTNESS RUNS IN HIS FAMILY

he trained for 5 months

he really likes drawing and does caricatures of his members

he is the eyebrow king

idk his eyesbrows are just.... 

stylists do things to his eyebrows anf it just fucks everyone up

high key has the best fashion sense

others boys willshow up to vlive in like hoodies and he is wearing a freakin casual suit

BOY PLAYS TO WIN’

he is like a boss at every kind of game

claims himself to be sweet like “Heonie”

“Hi! I’m siheon! Heonie Heonie Siheonie!”

he is a litter quieter than the other guys 

BUT he is so funny 

he doesn't like spice on his food for some reason

yeah he's crazy

he trained for 5 years

he's just precious and hot and hot and really hot

Ryu Hoyeon

THIS MAN HAS GIVEN ME SO MANY PROBLEMS

Ryu Hoyeon.

So he is my bias wrecker. Boy climbed up my bias list so freaking fast

He is the main dancer, vocalist, and a rapper (he also composes and arranges with Seunghoon)

He is 22 years old

His birthday is February 6, 1998 (Aquarius)

anontherrrrr 5′10 babbyyyy

cheekkkkkbooonnneeeessss

SHARK BOYY

He says he looks like a shark and i agree

HE HAS A NICE FUCKING TORSO

There was a predebut photo of him half shirtless it was awesome

he was also on Produce 101 S2 

eliminated on ep.5 :(

he trained for 2 years

He, yeonkuk, and seunghoon were in the Japanese tour of the musical Altar Boyz with Teen top’s Niel,2PM’s Chansung, and many others

he has a semi viral video of him

when he was a trainee / on produce 101 he was dancing to nct127 cherry bomb and had an unfortunate but quite hilarious accident (just look it up its funny)

sucks ass at games. every game. ever.

he is a low-key crackhead. he is a calm crackhead lol

VERY ATTRACTIVE

he used to have a youtube channel

you can still see his insta (leaderyoo) its so freaking cute and has predebut stuff of all the boys

he made their entire remix of fake love

he choreographed their song Diamond and also their cover of Taki Taki (which was very hot)

becomes a beast when dancing

he has an original chore to WEight in Gold that is very.......(insert eyebrow wiggle here)

has that dorito torso

(tiny waist and broad shoulders)

also thighs god damn

He is also a HUGE Vixx fanboy

Alter ego is DJ Ironman

He is very close with Siha, Siheon, and Yeonkuk

they turned him into a traffic cone for the Doom Doom comeback

he speaks a little bit of English (just a little bit)

all in all I'm completely in love with this man

Yang Siha 

THIS MAN IS SO FINEEEEEEE (he's my bias btw I have never been so in love with a man other than jisung)

Yang Siha is just uugghghhh god damn

22 year old babyyyy

Birthday is March 9, 1998 (Pisces)

Lil baby is 5′7″ oml i love him

MAIN VOCALIST AND DESERVES IT

he likes watching youtube videos and anime

He trained for 1 year and 1/2

looks good in every freaking hair color

his voice does NOT MATHC HIS FACE 

but not like in a Felix level way

He says his most attractive features are his “feminine features” (he says his unpronounced Adams apple and his small noes and doe eyes

HE HAS SMOL EARSSSS and i lovethem

close with Hoyeon and Siheon

but like his voice though

its so freaking pretty

it gives me chills

everything about him is perfect

he has tiny lips lol

he can play guitar

legit i swear his entire closet is black he rarely wears color

legit EVERYONE LOVES HIM

if someone is hugging anyone in a vlive or something

its siha

its always siha

everyone cuddles siha

i wanna cuddle siha. fuck.

for some reason I've just noticed this

the boy likes to wear long sleeves idk why

he also always seems to wear this one necklace Idk why but its so pretty and i really love that he does idk

he says his favorite song by NOIR is Travel (its also my favorite. its on their debut album and omg his part <3)

he is just so pure oml everything he posts on insta just makes me so soft

he is just so freakin cute and makes me switch lanes so fast

Kim Minhyuk

ooooof this cutie

Kim Minhyuk is something else

i just don't know what he is lol

Lead rapper and lead dancer

22 years old

His birthday is March 18th, 1998 (Pisces)

5′11 boy yes sir

ALSO A COLLEGE EDUCATED MAN

He went to Seoul Arts College

he has an older brother

apparently he cooks in the dorms

he trained for 1 year

he likes to play basketball

he really loves taking photos on his camera

he HATES bugs. its kind of funny ngl

he also is deathly afraid of balloons (i will not apologize for laughing at this one)

He and yunsung loooove ateez. they went to their first concert.

HE SERVES LOOOOKKKSSS

I think he is the most versatile member (look wise) because sometimes its hard to recognize him with each comeback because they change his style

he has these really cute big circle glasses he wear and just uwu

he kinda looks like Simon or Theodore from Alvin in the chipmunks in the best way.

he has a thing about jumping

like whenever he gets excited or happy he just starts jumping

he smiles like sunshineeeeee

even though he is the second youngest a lot of the members say that they go to him for advice 

(probably cause he has permanent hold of one of the 3 braincells noir has)

he looooves girl group dances 

especially twice 

TIKTOK KING 

He owns Noir’s tiktok pretty much. also their insta

he's a precious chipmunk

Kim Daewon

Thhis baby oml

Kim Daewon is the cutest thing since that fluffy little dog whose name i cant remember

20 years old 

Birthday is April 18th, 2000 (Aries)

Lead Dancer, vocalist, maknae

PROTEC THIS BABY BOY

In pictures he looks tall af

actually...

5′7″ but looks like 5′4″

the cutest thing everrrrr

HIS CHEEEKS

the biggest fluffiest cutest cheeks

everything about him is smol except for them thighssss

trained for 1 year

he has one older sister

THE BOY NEEDS MORE LINESSSS LUK FACTORY GIVE HIM MORE LINESSSSSS

he goes off in the chorus of their b-side track “Between” though like fuuuuuuucccckkkk (lowkey one of my favorite songs by them)

literally one of the funniest people you will ever see

extra crackhead energy

makes all the boys laugh

he loves chicken and snacks (gotta keep those cheeks in top shape)

literally the softest boy

he's good at everything i swear

he likes to shimmy.

has a cute butt lol

he talks in tiny

literally the cutest maknae ever oml

I hope this helped guys!!!!! I really hope you can stan noir and support them in their comeback this Monday! I hope this helped @distrikt9 if you need videos or anything feel free to ask! I love sharing my boys. They really are so underrated. I did this so fast ngl. I've never typed so fast

[kvngjoong]

seungmin + nsfw a-z

pls request the other members of skz if you’d like to see them! i have chan, jisung, woojin and felix requested so far, changbin already done

A: Aftercare

he is a soft smol baby who needs looking after himself, so you would be doing most of the aftercare. he usually does check your okay when he’s snuggled next to you. he would be far too shy to take leadership when it comes to you anyway. he does what he’s told when it comes to you, anyway

B: Body part

he doesn’t… particularly..have a favourite part of you? if you made him choose, then he would probably say your lips, because he likes how soft they are (and he likes when you shut him up by kissing him), though he also wouldn’t particularly say they are the one part of you that stands out to him the most. he likes ur tiddies too. for him, he likes his voice. not really a body part, but he likes how whiny and subby he can get when you really do get him in that mood

C: Cum

considering that he doesn’t look like he has a lot in him, seungmin cums quite a bit and he always makes a mess of it. he’ll confess to you somewhere in your relationship he likes it when it covers your body, or if it’s generally spread around when he finishes, cause low key he has a thing for marking you in that way

D: Dirty Secret

seungmin is kinda into the element of him being a good boy and you ruining his rep. you’ll never know, because he doesn’t tell you about it, but when you’re wearing dark clothes it riles him up a little. one time you were wearing ripped jeans, fishnets stockings, a tight vest and dark make up - ie, you looked like a typical ‘bad girl’. he really liked it. he was by your side all day hoping you’d get the message, and when you finally were going to relieve him of his problem he was extra excited to see you had black lace lingerie on and you left the fishnets on. this also means that if you have any nsfw piercings, he’s super into it

E: Experience

a little bit, if any. perhaps he knows stuff because he’s heard of others talking about them, and maybe he’s had a little experience beforehand? like he knows what everything is and all, he’s just shy so you wouldn’t think he did

F: Favourite Position

he really doesn’t happen. since sex isn’t the only thing going on, and there’s a lot of other play going on, the two of you only really do two positions which he’s fond of - cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. he prefers the later cause he thinks you have a cute butt

G: Goofy

he doesn’t really show a funny side to anything nsfw, and is mostly serious (due to his sub mindset and liking you to take most of the control)

H: Hair

he seems well groomed in general, so it probably follows suit that he’s either shaved or manscaped. he wants things to look… good, in the best way. he doesn’t like the idea of it being a big mess down there, and it would probably annoy him too if it was like that

I: Intimacy

definitely on the romantic side, no matter how kinky he is. he enjoys the romantic side behind everything and enjoys the thought of you being able to not just like him in a sexual way, but a romantic way too. he wouldn’t be able to deal with just the sexual side of things, he would get too shy about it

J: Jack Off

he doesn’t do it like a lot, but more than you think. he’s crafty in the fact that he knows you don’t like he getting off without you, or at least knowing about it, so he keeps it quiet and he’s too cute for you to ever think any differently. so seungmin gets away with jacking off a few times a week, when you’re under the impression it’s once a week

K: Kink

whilst his kink list is ever expanding and already full of a lot of different things he’s into, you’d be surprised to hear that he has a few things that stand out to him. he really likes being sub (but he’s a switch, so he can dom), and the one thing he loves so so much is having you need him. seriously, he would cum on the spot if you told him that he was the reason you were so wet (but he needs to hear it from you, if that makes sense). he also likes it when you peg him, cause it feels good for him

L: Location

your place, in the bedroom (or a playroom, should you be able to afford that luxury). sex is a pretty private ordeal for seungmin, especially since he’s on the adventurous side and wants to try out things he really doesn’t want his friends, or anyone for that matter, to find out about

M: Motivation

Seungmin doesn’t usually get turned on that easily, but anticipation really gets him going. He likes it when you text him at random hours of the day and tell him that he should be waiting for you when you get in since you really need him. he especially likes it if you text him and tell him to prepare himself for you, and what position you want to find him in

N: NO

exhinitionism, anything that gets a bit dirty (ya know, scat etc), and he is a bit apprehensive about threesomes or moresomes but that’s for another day. if you wanted to involve someone else, it would have to be someone you knew, he would probably prefer another girl rather than a guy too

O: Oral

seungmin doesn’t usually receive, and he’s not one to complain about it - he likes giving because he likes pleasing you so badly. he’s practically a different man when you he’s giving oral, he takes back a bit of his control but his main goal is to get you off and make you feel as good as possible. on the chance he is receiving, he barely speaks above a whimper and cums pretty quick. he’s sensitive, alright?

P: Pace

you take control, so it’s whatever you want. he’s a massive sub, even with his switch undertones, and whatever you want, he’ll accept. though seungmin will typically take a faster pace when he gets his time to shine as dom, but he prefers you to be slower when you’re dom - mostly because he gets to feel everything that way

Q: Quickie

not really his style, unless you’ve giving him a quick blowie or hand job because he’s got somewhere to be soon but you’re both in that mood

R: Risk

this poor baby does not like the idea of getting caught doing anything. he shies away at the thought of someone walking in on him, or even someone he doesn’t know maybe catching onto the fact he’s doing something a touch nsfw. risks aren’t a go to for him, unfortunately

S: Stamina

it never changes. he can go for as long as you need, but not for too long, cause he gets sleepy

T: Toy

seungmin likes toys!! in one way, he likes the ones that look pretty. he likes when you get kitten ears because you both can use them and that’s cute. he likes when you use toys on him, even the ones that hurt him a little (cough, masochist, cough). he likes to dress up and likes when you dress up too. he’s unsure on how he uses toys with you, but he’ll make it work

U: Unfair

he isn’t a tease at all, and he doesn't mind being teased. if you want to tease him, you have to deal with the emotional toll of seeing him pout with his eyes wide and round and glassy

V: Volume

he’s vocal, but he’s not loud per se. he can be quiet if needed, though usually needs you to actually tell him to shut up (or cover his mouth), but he’s not once brought unnecessary attention to himself. he’s definitely a whiner, but he’s not bratty (what a good sub). you’ll never get sick of hearing his sweet mewls when you overstimulate him

W: Wild Card

one time, you were showing seungmin your wax burner and he thought it was really cool, but you didn’t catch him in time to stop him dipping his finger in the hot wax. it hurt at first, but it was also how seungmin found out he was into having you drip hot wax onto him. is he a bit of a masochist? most definitely

X: X-Ray

(sorry) on the smaller side. both thinner and smaller than average, but it’s all okay because he’s pretty adventurous and doesn’t just like it vanilla - he definitely wants to try out all sorts of toys (and a strap on!)

Y: Yearning

he’s definitely on the more needy side, though he knows his limits and won’t often initiate anything in the fear that it might get him punished (though after a talk you’ll tell him it would be pretty cute if he initiated something and took a dom role). when he’s been drinking, or he’s feeling particularly confident, he’s definitely one to send dirty pics

Z: ZZZ

tired baby wants to lie in your arms forever after and let you take care of him. he likes it when you play with his hair and falls asleep not too long afterwards. he’ll have heart eyes for you the whole time and drift off to have a dream of you doing the exact same thing (or something equally soft)

[goldenpinof]

so basically here’s a script of “Basically I’m gay” by Daniel Howell, if someone needs it

link to a google doc

Hello Internet.

«Sex! Secrecy! And a whole lot of internal screaming. Starring Daniel Howell. One of the greatest mysteries of our generation. What is Dan’s sexuality?»

Spoiler alert. I’m not straight. Sex, the foundation of life and the only thing we’re really supposed to do. Everyone’s obsessed with it. You bunch of degenerates. In the list of things that identify a person, one of the most important for other people to know is their sexuality. For, if sex is the primal force propelling all of these humans forward by their hips, they have to know. Are we gonna fuck? Or like could we? Or are you, ‘cause I’m just wondering. Now, we live in a heteronormative world, which is a long scary word that makes people feel attacked for some reason. Shh it’s okay.

What it means is people are presumed to be straight. If you’re not, then at some point, you have to “come out”, which is a whole thing. Or people might just try and guess based on something you do or the way you act, because yay stereotypes. So this is something you have to be clear on, because if you’re not, how are all these other people that aren’t you going to cope? But I’m pretty sure no one that knows me thinks I’m straight. So I don’t really need to come out as much as just clarify what the hell is going on. As here I am at age 27 and my sexual preference is seemingly still a vague, debatable, confusing, impenetrable mystery. But why? And what is it? Well, those are some big questions. Are you sure you wanna know my answers?

[YES]

Okay, well, if you say so 'cause this is a complicated and sensitive issue and when it comes to me, boy, there is a lot to unpack here and it is a total clusterfuck. So strap yourselves in and let me tell you a queer little story about a boy named Dan.

Chapter 1 – The Word

♪ When I was a young boy ♪

♪ My father ♪

Didn’t have much time for me because my conception was clearly an accident and he was a narcissistic proud man suddenly inconvenienced in the prime of his life and this emotional neglect gave me lasting problems.

Sorry that’s not all relevant right now.

I was an only child for seven years and with working parents. This meant I had to make my own fun so I was imaginative  and loud which is something that my teachers used to say quite a lot followed by, “However.” Here I am age five. Look at me. Cute, poised, sassy, turning out this photo shoot like sorry, Grandma, I stunted on this set. Are you seeing this? In almost every way, I literally peaked age five. I loved being the center of attention. People said I had an infectious happiness, that my beaming smile brought them hope and joy. People that know me are laughing right now. But a boy, in the '90s being happy and generally polite acting? Sounds kinda GAY if you ask me. Literally, masculinity was so fragile, people were so proud and scared and society so aggressive that a boy smiling!?.. appearing to be empathetic or in any way emoting was seen as a threat. How dare they laugh and feel comfortable? They must be soft and weak and girly and GAY. So basically thanks, Grandma, for raising me to be a nice child, you dick. Just kidding. That’s a joke and I told you not to watch this video because it would be rude so if you send me a disappointed text telling me you’re offended, I don’t know what to tell you. Although, now I think about it, you did make me go to church for 10 years, which in hindsight probably also didn’t help ♪ Hallelujah ♪ the issue here so. But then it was time for little Dan to go to school and this is when it  

♪ All went wrong ♪

'Cause it turns out most children, evil pieces of shit. Doesn’t matter if you try to raise a happy innocent child, throw that kid into school, aka, a literal Mad Max Battle Royale with the feral offspring of your local community. Yeah, that crap’ll be undone in about two weeks. I was six years old running around the playground pretending to be Sonic the Hedgehog or something when two brothers come up to me aged seven and eight with an unexplained aggressive look in their eye. And the younger one pushes me to the ground, kicks me in the stomach, and just says, “GAY.”

This was the first time I ever heard that word. Well, I don’t know what the heck gay means but apparently it means people kick you on the floor so that ain’t good. I didn’t know this child or give them any cause to have an opinion on me. And, actually, I never directly interacted with them again. What epic clustershit of failed parenting and general culture brought this tiny child to get angry and attack someone, then call them gay for looking like they were having fun outside. Are you okay, 1990s? And so my relationship with sexuality began.

I wasn’t looking to define myself as a child indiscriminately playing doctors and nurses with various friends until once somebody’s mum walked into a room to find three fully naked children sat on a bed sticking sellotape to each other’s butts. Yep, which I don’t recommend. Also, Jesus Christ, the poor woman that saw that. Then you get to the magic age around 10 or 11 where everybody suddenly wants to pretend they’re totally a “cool teenager” who’s doing all the drugs and the sex and the fights, totally. Boy, gay was a really popular word back then.

[[Boy] Uh, homework is gay. [Girl] Uh, my mum’s so gay. [Boy] Uh, you touched a girl, gay.]

This one little shit who I won’t name was one of the school bullies and he loved the word gay. He had it in for me and I have no idea why. You know me, Mr. Winnie the Pooh Meets Slender Man. Well, when I was 10 just Winnie the Pooh. I didn’t do nothin’ to no one ever and yet this guy used my pacifism as a punching bag where any group situation was an excuse to single me out call me gay for some reason and then make everyone else exclude me because they were scared of him. I had a girlfriend. We dated for six whole weeks. We kissed in a game of spin the bottle once by literally sucking on each other’s faces. Then she ended dumping me over speakerphone at a birthday party that everyone in my class but me was invited to but, hey. I don’t know what I was doing wrong, but at this age, I understood one thing. Being gay, whatever that meant, was clearly the worst thing you could be. On a Darwinian level, I was being told, okay bitch, “Survival Code”. Don’t be this apparently. Evolution. Plot twist, this bully I think he was a bit gay because once he asked me to have a sleepover at his house and I thought was me finally getting socially accepted only for him in the middle of the night to come up and ask me, “So who’s going to be the boy and the girl?” I was an innocent smol bean who didn’t really understand what he meant because, to be honest, I didn’t actually understand get how babies were made yet. But needless to say I think he was disappointed. Wow, closeted child turns into homophobic bully. Thanks again society. But this whole primary school journey was really just an amuse-bouche for the full six-course tasting menu of suffering that would be secondary school.

I went to an all-boys school. It was a literal hellscape.  I thought it was hard making it through a school of 200 kids with two or three bullies. Try over a thousand where a clean 800 are fully psychopathic gorillas fueled by testosterone, Red Bull, and Eminem albums. Making sure that the word f- no longer means an innocent bundle of sticks or a cigarette anymore in the British lexicon. Nope, now it was a cool homophobic slur along with gay, gaylord, gayboy, puff, pufter, ponce, batty, batty boy, bum-boy, bender. Shit, this is so long. People have a lot of words for something they don’t wanna think about. Look at me in this stupid blazer. Oh, “you’ll grow into it at some point in the next four years”. Thanks, Mum. Day one, kid in form class, some stupid hedgehog-looking motherfucker side eyes me and says, “What you lookin at, puff?” First interaction at a new school. Great! My entire existence on a daily basis then becomes navigating this school like I’m in the bloody “Maze Runner” trying to avoid aggressive pricks with chode ties. And you know being verbally abused for being a nerd or a Greebo at least felt relevant to me at the time. Greebo, definitely one of my faves there and I’m sure that Korn and Slipknot would have been proud to have 12-year-old me as a fan. I kinda knew who I was in the hierarchy at that point. I was essentially a theater kid who spent all of his free time playing Runescape on the AOL browser on his mum’s PC instead of football. I accepted it. But at least I wasn’t actually this “gay thing” people kept throwing around because by now I understood a gay is a boy who fancies other boys. And to be honest I don’t really feel like I’ve ever fancied anyone before.

Then puberty happened.

Oh yeah, this is fun, tingly feelings, I smell bad. It was quite fun dribbling on this girl’s face playing Truth or Dare, maybe later we’ll go behind that bike sheds and, there I was sat in English class, my friend next to me. I watched as he delicately removes a pencil from its case. We briefly make eye contact as he flutters his long black eyelashes with a blink before staring forward. His eyes are so bright and beautiful yet they seem so sad and deep with emotion. I wish I could just understand. Oh fuck, I think I’m a bit gay. You’re telling me this whole time I actually have been the bad thing that people keep calling me? Shit!

Chapter 2 – Feelings

Oh do you hear it that faint hum, something coming from a deep, dark place too powerful to control? It’s the self-hatred. She is here and she’s only getting started. Short version, I fall hopelessly in love with a friend of mine who doesn’t feel the same way which crushes me into a million tiny pieces and years later actually it turns out he was gay the whole time. He just really specifically didn’t like me. [Double kill.] Here I am, 13, crying to evanescence alone in my bedroom feeling like there’s no point in really being alive as I’m clearly a faulty outcast person that has no place in the world. I stopped going to church with my grandma because I felt like I wasn’t really supposed to be there. Also, by this age, the whole Christianity thing didn’t really make much sense to me. And the adult services were dry AF compared to coloring in a picture of Jesus’s face at Sunday school. So other than the free tea and biscuits they gave away after the sermon, religion didn’t really have much to offer me. Damn, there was some good biscuits though. I miss that. But wait! All is not lost yet. Do you see that? A triumphant, rallying cry of guitars, stripey hoodies, and black hair dye. Emo had arrived! I swear to God, emo is one of the best things that happened to pop culture in the last 20 years. As well as inventing eyeliner and skinny jeans, a new word hit the theater, nerd, goth, band, kid corner that would change my world forever.

Bisexual. You can be normal and gay at the same time and some people think it’s cool? Well, slap a long fingerless glove on my arm and sign me up to Myspace 'cause Mum, I’m bi. It was a good term 'cause it was a catchall for anyone who felt sexually confused or curious that didn’t want to commit to something stronger which is very me. Big commitment issues. Thanks, fam. To be clear, regardless of whatever the 2006 teenagers thoughts and feelings were, being bi is valid and should not be excused away or erased by anyone. Thank you.

From this moment, I was a loud and proud raving bi to my close friends and the strangers on the internet who saw my clearly-labeled sexual preference on my Myspace page. And the emo friends I made at this time were awesome. We just used to hang and make out with each other and listen to music and drink bottles of Smirnoff Ice until we were sick on each other with no judgment. The judgment came several years later looking back at the photos that you can’t delete. So I didn’t need to tell my family or people at school anything. But the thing is with a Myspace page, anyone with an internet connection can read it. And so the rumors started spreading through my neighborhood that Dan Howell was in fact a bisexual. I had a friend in French class who one day, totally unprompted, just turned to me and said, “Hmm, yeah, I thought so. You give off a bi-vibe.” A bi-vi-, what the fuck is a bi-vibe? Great, yeah, nothing to make a 15-year-old feel self-conscious about his behavior like being told he emanates a bisexual aura. What am I supposed to do with that? Sorry that I give off mixed signals. I’m versatile. Turns out it was actually a social upgrade from being called gay all the time 'cause bisexual was a new word that only referred to sexuality so people actually had to decide how they felt about the fact I was attracted to boys. As opposed to gay which as we all understand is synonymous with bad and also implies a general threat, plague, curse/evil force that simply must be destroyed. People at school were actually almost nice to me with curiosity about it and a few of the boys that previously loved to just generically call me gay while throwing a compasses at me or something, now started to low-key flirt with me and some stuff happened. Go figure.

But then I entered the dark ages and no I’m not talking about my hair because I was never actually cool enough to commit to dying it black. As quickly as they arrived into my life, my emo friend group vanished into the night. Like the tip of an eyeliner pencil snapping or the HTML on your intricately-crafted MySpace page falling apart when the host websites of your embedded gifs die, so, too, did my social life. One had to suddenly focus on school, another moved town, two of them just fell out with each other and started hanging out with their old friends again. Well, we don’t all have back up friend groups, Lindsey! I went all in on the emos! You’re telling me I have to go back to sitting in my kitchen playing Runescape now! Thanks a lot. So for a year I literally had no friends. And this is when the bullying at school really stepped its pussy up. The things people used to say offhand to me in a corridor were now said loudly in classrooms where everybody would laugh. People used to sing songs about me being gay on the bus while my fellow nerds sat around me just stared awkwardly out of the window not wanting to get involved. People shouted things out during GCSE exams in front of the whole school and the low key pushing became punches. People used to wait for me after school just to throw things at me. Once a guy put his hand around my throat and pushed my head against a coat peg in the locker room while everyone was watching and just slapped me for five minutes. But I never reacted. I never cried or got angry or fought back 'cause then I’d be giving them what they wanted and I refused to play along. But this way of dealing with things definitely had an impact on my relationship with emotion going into life. I became a total outcast. No one wanted to come near me out of fear that they’d get targeted, too. So no one ever stood up for me. And, you know, I don’t blame them. I just resent them even to this day. No, I’m kidding, I don’t really. I do. No, I don’t. I, hmm. Teachers at the time obviously did nothing. In fact, one of them saw this happening to me and laughed 'cause you know, boys will be boys especially the gay ones that get killed by the other ones, am I right? Ah, classic lad banter. And home. See, keeping this on the topic of sexuality and not economic class, violence, addiction, and health issues, let’s just say some shit was goin’ down. I didn’t think I could ask my family for help or share my feelings about this, mainly due to my dad. Funny guy, kind of a woke hippie who did and said a lot of things I did respect but at the same time used to walk around the house saying how he hoped someone he had a problem with at work would *clears throat* “die of bum cancer.” Yep, so picked the one area to be a bigot that would further traumatize your child. Nice! This experience coming from a childhood hearing the word gay meaninglessly thrown around as an insult at home and school, in music, on TV, to then realizing I am actually kinda gay, to then very specifically being attacked for it was traumatic. The world was clearly telling me if I ever wanted to be accepted by anyone or, in my particular environment, survive, I couldn’t be gay. I was afraid of it, literally homophobic of myself. I am talking Pavlov, sunken place, North Korea-level mind alteration that made me terrified of and repulsed by this part of me. This is called internalized oppression. It’s a real thing and it’s some real shit.

Chapter 3 – Internalized Oppression

From this moment I was no longer advertising myself as bi. No, BRB deleting that Myspace real quick, xD lemme get on that Bebo. “My Chemical Romance”? No, I’m listen to what’s this, N-Dubz? Jesus Christ. I go away for the summer break and come back to school quiet and serious and fully straight. *coughs* I needed me some new friends that were a bit higher up the social ladder, you know what I’m sayin’ for security so I go ahead and join “The Inbetweeners”. Literally this group of friends, the exact middle ground between nerds and desperately wanting to be cool. And oh how desperate we were. The great thing about these friends was they knew loads of girls. So firstly, instant cool points. Secondly, if I date a girl *scoffs* super not gay. The problem with that was it’s not like everyone just forgot everything that’s been said about me and this group of friends, casually homophobic pretty much all the time and also they hung out in places near some even more aggressive and super homophobic peeps. Just full-time Runescape would have been a better in hindsight. I find myself going through the same shit at school but now voluntarily going through it at the weekends from the people that are supposed to be my friends thinking I’m doing the right thing whilst constantly telling myself I’m now totally heterosexual. So I did what many people choose to do at that point and I got a girlfriend. But this is pretty messed up because I really liked this girl. In fact, I loved her as a friend and I was genuinely attracted to her but I was so afraid of sexuality I didn’t even wanna do anything straight in case I had some weird gay panic that I was totally frigid and I led her on. And when she got pissed at me, understandably, for being a terrible boyfriend, I just felt even worse. This was someone who I liked that I was hurting and lying to but I couldn’t leave as then I’d have no armor. Beautiful irony here is having a girlfriend didn’t in any way stop the abuse 'cause remember, gay is a great all-purpose general insult. (Call someone gay today and we’ll throw in a free set of steak knives.) And when these neighborhood teens started heavy drinking and getting into drugs, things suddenly got quite scary as people joked about setting fire to a tent as I slept in it at Reading Festival. Or saying, “You know that notoriously unstable guy? Yeah, he said he’s gonna kill you next Saturday.” Awkward.

This was definitely the lowest point in my life. I just felt totally alone, confused and I deeply hated myself. I used to ask God, in case he was there, to please, just make me straight and everyone stop. But I saw no end, no escape, no way to change the world or who I was. So one evening I thought fuck it and I attempted suicide.

I say attempted, because just before it was too late I thought

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit what have i done what have i done fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck?”

“what will your grandma think don’t do this to her she tried her best and she loves you”

“your family aren’t total dicks and this will fuck them up can’t you just get over it surely”

“you’re gonna get to the last year of school and give up now really what was the point”

“I heard this is one of the most painful ways to die so not a great choice if I’m being blunt”

Felt kinda bad for a few days otherwise I pretended it never happened and I didn’t tell anyone, until now, literally. Hmm, I know pretty dark right, but hey spoiler things kinda worked out. I mean still gotta lot of issues but here I am. I’m so glad I failed for so many reasons, for the people in my life, for the future I would’ve wasted. The most important being that I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that’s it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we’ve dreamed of. I want anyone that’s ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side. So yeah school age 6 to 18, I’m gonna give that a bad Google review. The thing is I did stand out. I’ve always been a loudmouth, class clown, annoying shit. Since graduating, it turns out half the people I knew were fuckin’ gay. That group of friends I had, all lovely people now. Five of them were gay, five gays! That is statistically irregular. Oh but they flew under the radar. All I’m saying is I wish people just hated me for being annoying and immature. Leave the gays alone!

My light at the end of the tunnel was university. I was gonna get my A levels move to a new town and ghost these bitches. But I took a gap year first to earn some money which was very boring sitting at home and working at ASDA where I was not happy to help. My shift started at 5 a.m. on a Saturday. Signed up for a Twitter account to run my mouth off and then bam. “So my name is [Dan].” My YouTube story begins, a new chapter of my life to redefine. So you know what I do? Get a Formspring because nothing gives you that attention feeling like one of those anonymous question and answer websites that are inherently toxic and no one should use. And straight out of the bat bisexual Dan returns. 'Cause hey, just like Myspace, I’m only telling a few people on the internet right now. It’s not like one day I’m gonna get so many followers that random strangers and my family might see it. Wow, I had a lot fun with many different kinds of people in 2009. Let’s just say I got a lot out of my system. Got a couple of things in my system, too. Sorry.

And this is when, through the magic of the internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends but it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And the relationship we formed at that point was something that I needed in my life. We are real best friends, companions through life, like actual soulmates, not that souls are a real thing that exist. It’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with and especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self-hatred that I have dealt with, one person accepting you can make all the difference. And I bet so many people wanna know so much more about that which, honestly, I take as a compliment. But here’s the thing. I’m somebody that wants to keep the details of my personal life private. So is Phil. I know lots of people these days, thanks to social media, want to share and monetize every aspect of their life and then as soon as something changes suddenly it’s this huge drama because everybody got invested in the story of your life like it’s a soap opera. I don’t want that. I wanna do certain things without an audience. I wanna be spontaneous. I don’t wanna feel afraid to take risks. I want to enjoy totally fucking something up and not have to post a statement about it. And if anyone thinks people really have to share these things about their life, you need to rethink your position. And look, I understand that sex is a fun and interesting thing to talk about. I get it. I am also a disgusting pervert. But the specific minutiae of who I be fuckin’, when, why, where, how long, how, uhh, I mean? Sexuality is a general fact that it can be very useful to know about a person for several reasons, but we can’t force people to disclose that either. We don’t know this person’s life story, what they’ve been through, if they haven’t told people, if they’ll lose their job, if they’re in danger. There are so many reasons someone might not be open about it. We can preach the message that being out is good, but aggressively speculating or trying to out someone is really bad. They might not be gay, in which case we’re just harassing someone and probably stereotyping. And if they are there’s gonna be a reason why they haven’t talked about it. So I don’t wanna see any responses to me finally talking about this like no one is surprised. “Dan we been knew.” Wow, you huge galaxy brain genius. What’s it like walking around with all those brain cells in there working overtime? What, you got like three in there? Don’t lose your balance, mastermind. I haven’t exactly been subtle have I? I’m an awkward, sexually ambiguous nerd. “What the fuck even is your sexuality?” That’s not the point. I’m already dead inside so it doesn’t matter here, but to me if someone’s reaction to a person coming out is just, “yeah, I knew”, they’re showing no empathy towards the issue or that person. They’re just making it about themselves like it was a fun piece of gossip they already knew. All we have to do is listen and be accepting.

So anyway back to the tale. Whilst things were looking up for Dan aged 18, things quickly got messy again. Wow, that beats the emo streak of temporary self-acceptance by like six months, nice. There was a point around 2011 where the relationship with my audience shifted from what felt like direct communication between me and individuals that just saw me as a comedy creator to communities of people that formed to talk about me when I wasn’t there. Which is fine, but for some people it was about getting generally invested in me and my real life which I thought was a bit strange 'cause inevitably like anyone who puts themself out there, some people started to really dig into my private life to find out information about me that I wasn’t ready to share. And this was around the same time that YouTubers finally started to get mainstream recognition in the British press. We had the BBC knocking at our door trying to offer Dan and Phil a radio show. From that, Dan and Phil became this entertainment duo that we could have a creative career with. And we love working together, so when all these opportunities came for Dan and Phil, we were really excited but I was also scared as people clearly knew I wasn’t straight and I hadn’t told my family that. None of my old friends knew about this, and what me and Phil had was ours and personal and yet some people were trying to get access to it for their own satisfaction. It was no longer a few people on the internet, no big deal. So I just shut down. It felt like I was back at school again, surrounded by threatening people trying to expose me for their entertainment. Most I’m sure just wanted what was best for me and I feel such genuine sadness and am sorry that I couldn’t be closer to and more truthful with the people in my life that were just trying to be nice but I wasn’t ready to deal with it at this time so I had to do something to contain it. I definitely sent some mixed messages. Some were just joking around, others were super defensive that in my panic came across like “I’m now telling everyone I’m totally straight” when all I really meant was “please fuck off and don’t invade my privacy, you creepy stalkers, thank you”. But this experience seriously triggered some PTSD in me and I was back in the dark place. I didn’t want to just disappear from the internet to escape it and throw away this creative hobby that actually started paying rent. Thanks. So I just decided to put anything to do with my sexuality in a box to come back to later as I was still processing my past and I wanted to understand my identity on my own terms and timeline and not just have it hijacked as fuel for people’s sexual fantasies or some headline in an article. And whilst we’re not exactly living in a utopia yet here on YouTube, the general internet culture only five or six years ago was a much less wholesome, progressive place as this little bubble is now. Sure, a lot of people probably would have been supportive, but there was just as much open bigotry and general toxicity 'cause people felt less accountable and it was okay to say certain things 'cause it’s just on the internet and I couldn’t handle that at the time. And, generally, I can handle a lot. I have big hands with a very wide reach for playing piano, you fucking.. get your mind out of the gutter. We can’t ask people to just put their lives on hold to address their sexuality first. If a kid dreams of being a footballer and age 18 gets signed to a club and all their dreams come true but they’re scared to come out because of the insane homophobia in that community, they shouldn’t turn it down. Yes, it’s so important to be truthful about who you are and open and proud in front of the world but it’s our society’s fault that these people are scared to say who they are. So let’s all focus on making it a welcoming place and people will come out when they are ready. So when was I ready? Well, it’s always been on my mind that I need to talk about this at some point. I couldn’t just keep going forward in my life ignoring it, not only just so I can be authentic, which is very important for general existing, but also just letting people know what kind of sexual attention I want from the world. All of it from everyone. God I’m so thirsty. And if anything motivated me, it’s the idea that I can help someone else 'cause that’s basically my whole career, isn’t it, admitting to shit that I’ve been through so you will feel better about yourselves. There we go, you’re welcome. I have a platform and a following of millions of people, many of whom I know have been through exactly what I have. And if I tell my story as painful and flip floppy and flawed as it is, I know it will mean something to someone as every time someone speaks openly about sexuality, it saves lives. I’d never met a single out gay person until I was 18. And if I had, or even just seen better representation in the media, I wouldn’t have felt so totally alone. I wouldn’t even be saying this to you now if it wasn’t for TV shows, musicians, and public figures in the last couple years reinforcing this to me. It doesn’t matter if I was living the life privately as there was still so much confusion about my feelings and fear. But things are better now, on the internet, on TV, in my real life. It’s not perfect but it feels safe enough in this space right now for me to feel confident. So thank you, sincerely, to all the brave people that came before me and to any of you that made this world seem welcoming for me. And instead of procrastinating from this by focusing on work, which was a way for me to insure my own independence and survival in case I was rejected, or just doing things for other people to take my mind off it instead of asserting my own needs, which my therapist keeps telling me is one of my biggest problems. Here I am with a fresh void of time in front of me to fuck up however I want. Now look, we all have different experiences in life. Some of us are lucky, some of us not. It just so happened that the first 18 years of my life were horrendously shit. It failed me. But we get dealt cards from the start, too. If you look at my life, I was born into this world as an able-bodied, white, cis-man in Britain which immediately gives me so much privilege in this current world and I am fully aware of how much harder making it to today could have been for me, which is why we all need to stand up for equality and social justice even if it doesn’t apply to us. No one stood up for me when it mattered the most and that almost cost me everything. So if you see a woman being harassed, a gay being threatened, someone muttering something racist, say something, do something because if you’re still or silent, the victim will just think that you are against them, too. We all have a responsibility.

This tale was just some of the stuff relating to sexuality. We all have a whole sob story if we wanna tell it but I just wanted to explain the journey of how I got to this point and overcame the obstacles that tried to block this path. And now I’ve arrived.

Chapter 4 – Labels

Okay cool story, bro, it’s answer time. What’s your answer. Whaddayalikedafuk? Here’s the thing, you want me to talk candidly about sexuality as if it’s something that I understand? I don’t know what it is, why it is. Turns out no one knows. I’ve been sitting here for years waiting for scientists to just work it out like bleep bloop. [Oh this is why and exactly how it’s different for people. There we go.] Thinking I shouldn’t run off my mouth on the internet in case my theories and opinions on varying gayness get debunked next week. Well, I waited long enough and it didn’t happen. Science, ya fucked up, you let me down. And I fully expect to have to delete this video in two weeks when you find out all the answers suddenly. Thanks a bunch. What makes someone gay or straight or all the things in between? What the ever loving fuck is gender about? This is a mess. Yet people want you to give them a word because that’s how humans communicate with words that have meanings. Which is why our disgusting species is impatient, stupid, and obsessed with labels. And this applies to everything, sexuality, gender, political identity, what obscure genre of synthwave you listen to. People just want a label that represents something they understand so they already know how to feel about you and don’t have to bother thinking. [Oh you’re a feminist well I don’t need to know anything more. Oh you’re a leftist. Oh you’re a K-pop fan but but but but.] If people just want to find a way to disagree with you or dislike you, they can refer to the label and turn off their brains. Hey, what does my label say? Huh. The issue is, especially when we start talking about the writhing mass of confusion and suffering that is sexual and gender identity, the limits of language and specific terminology become a big problem. What does being gay mean? You never thought about a boob once? What does being a man mean? You wanna be an emotionless rock rubbing raw steaks against your biceps? It’s not like humanity is all in agreement right now. I don’t like the stereotypes and drama that come with all this terminology so I’m just not gonna use it. Thing is gender identity isn’t my issue. I feel comfortable with the identity that I’ve had my whole life. Dan, a tol boy from England. But being a man means nothing to me. I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable wearing makeup or a sickening pair of heels, though I can’t even draw in a straight line so that would be a disaster. Also is anyone really comfortable wearing heels? Hmm. Icons of masculinity aren’t really a big part of my life. Might as well call me a fucking formless blob that sounds more relatable. Shout out to all my formless blobs out there, rise up. I don’t have to do anything or be anything and I personally wouldn’t feel offended if I wasn’t referred to as a he. Well, she’s feeling hungry today. Stop fucking judging me, Susan. I’m sad and I’m gonna eat this whole damn cake whether you like it or not. But anyone that has this don’t really care attitude about their gender identity is in a way privileged 'cause some people, especially trans, care a lot about their gender identity and using the correct pronouns which other people should respect. Likewise with sexuality, whilst to me the endlessly increasing list of tribes and flags being flown is a bit daunting and confusing and personally stresses me out 'cause I almost find it constrictive, some people like it. Because if you’re feelings are confusing and then you look at a word that represents something and go, “wow, that me”, it can help you realize you’re valid and find a community and that’s great. There is so much controversy around this issue and others but if we all just calm down, respect each other’s experiences and try to just be nice, reasonable people, which is a lot to ask, let’s be real, it’s quite simple. If you wanna use language to express your honest feelings and identity, that’s great and other people should respect what you say. Likewise, if you hate labels and you just wanna be a formless blob, that’s fine, too. No one should force you. The only thing that isn’t cool is telling other people what they should or should not identify as 'cause that ain’t your problem or your business, bye. This was one of the things that held me back from talking about this for years. Shit’s confusing, man. Let’s just go back to cellular reproduction by mitosis so I don’t really have to be specific. Two people that I really look up to and respect, Harry Styles and Janelle Monae, both famously say that they don’t feel the need to label it which, to be honest, is how I feel and is perfectly okay. But I get it, for me, you want a word. Oh, that’s hard, though. I’m an annoying guy. I feel uncertain specifying my sexuality in the same way I wouldn’t say I am an atheist. Who the fuck am I to say whether God does or doesn’t exist? I don’t know shit 'bout shit and neither does anyone else. I mean I think it’s unlikely in the same way I know I like DICK. But I’m not gonna pretend to have a definite answer here. Looking at my public statements is inconsistent and confusing. Looking at my personal track record through life is super confusing. And looking at the void inside my soul threatening to crush the entire universe with the force of its event horizon of misery and melodrama, well, fuck let’s close that shit up. One thing’s for sure whatever heterosexual is, I ain’t it. Really if you ask me, I don’t think anyone’s totally straight. I think there’s a lot of social and emotional issues getting in the way of yet to be understood feelings of attraction that can be very flexible. And trust me, I’ve known a lot of straight guys until a couple of drinks, some deep conversation, and lingering eye contact, and suddenly they just start leaning in. What does that make them? And am I totally gay? No. Am I slightly more gay or is it just easier for gays to hook up with each other because of societal norms. It’s not like the signs for male and female bathrooms are what I’m attracted to. I don’t care what flesh organ you have between your legs, what your hair’s like, if you’re covered in it or a fuckin’ beluga whale. I’m gonna be honest, I’m not picky. I’m easy. So am I bi or pan or poly? Well, now we’re just in a clusterfuck of defining language and I’m confused and sad and horny. This is why I personally love the word queer. I understand that some people don’t as it is a slur but as someone that’s been the target of it several times throughout my life I’m up for some reclamation. It’s like recycling. The definition makes sense because until society is equal with all sexual and gender identifies, it is literally strange from a conventional viewpoint plus it’s better than a super long acronym, it’s inclusive of everyone and therefore great for formless blobs. There we go, an identity I feel comfortable with. A highly-strung, depressed queer praying for a giant meteor to hurry up and finally eradicate humanity. LMAO, yeet!

But to come full circle, I know that even today, deep in my heart the word gay scares me because that’s how I’ve been conditioned my whole life. So, you know what? Fuck the literal definition and the scientific definition and what everyone thinks. I finally have to just confront and accept this.

I’m gay.

Oh look, didn’t spontaneously fucking combust. Well, there we go, that was a lot of stress about nothing, wasn’t it? Bloody hell. So yup, I’m here, I’m queer, and don’t worry I’m still filled with existential fear.

WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER WE’RE FILLED WITH EXISTENTIAL FEAR.

Chapter 5 – Fear

Even though I’m at this current place, there is still so much I’m afraid of and this has taken months to make because of that. Telling my family was a big fear. I have problems connecting with them emotionally because reasons. So I only came out to them this month and if it didn’t go well, as I’m now the independent adult that I fought so hard to be, I was ready to cut them off like the bottom of a sweater turning into a seasonal crop. But I didn’t have to, love you. I didn’t think they’d reject me these days but coming out is still a surprise. It changes things. And I’m a pretty awkward person generally but the idea of just dropping this in conversation in front of them all terrified me. And I tried several times this year to do it but I just couldn’t. So you know how I finally came out to my family? E-mail. Yep, I literally just sent them an e-mail saying and I quote,

“Hello gang. I’ve been meaning to talk to you all for a while, something quite important that should be disclosed at some point. I thought I would around Christmas, then Mum’s birthday, then last Easter Sunday, etc., but every time I meant to, I either felt like I would ruin the mood of the day or I just felt awkward and didn’t want to. So I decided just to email you all instead which is really inappropriate and just weird but that somehow seems appropriate for me and at least I’ll just finally say it.

Basically I’m gay.”

Yup. It was just getting ridiculous so I thought screw it and hey, it worked. Turns out my remaining family, pretty chill bunch of people. Even my Christian grandma said this,

“We love you for being you. It must be a great relief to finally acknowledge who you are. Popsie and I just want you to be happy. People are born as they are and have no say in it. I hope that now you will feel free to live your life as you want with no pretense.”

Aw.

“Don’t forget the iPad.”

Yes, I said I’d give her my old iPad. She mainly cares about that I thing. Wasn’t so sure when I was 17 but it went well now and I know that makes me lucky but, hey, it shows that times change. As for the other people in my life, obviously all the friends I have now are cool. If anyone in my life I’ve ever known isn’t cool with it then I don’t care. And sure here online there might be a few incredibly lost bigots following me or just some classic trolls who I think should get fucked. No, like literally, I think you should try it. You’ll probably enjoy it and you might learn something about yourself. Inevitably some of you watching this might have a weird reaction if you just feel like it was a shock or you feel hurt that I kept it from you. But I feel like I explained myself reasonably here and going forward I can’t have any space for that, sorry. I’ve come to terms with who I am and now you have to, too, ha. Funnily enough straight up homophobia is probably the one thing I’m not that afraid of, because I just don’t agree so it doesn’t hold much emotional power over me but you bet I’m opening myself up to all new kinds of in real life and international discrimination now which is fun. But one of the other big fears holding me back was, honestly, that I wouldn’t be accepted by the community. I know that it’s a big pride flag covering a lot of ground and even the idea of it and certainly most of it is amazing. But there is a lot of drama within it right now especially on the internet. You’ve got Grindr gays arguing about how manly gays should be, bi’s getting ignored, trans people, especially of color, not being historically appreciated, acephobia, fucking SWERFs and TERFs. No thank you. So even though they are my people, I know some of them will have problems with something. And even then, just seeing such a loud and proud, strong and opinionated group of people celebrating something just intimidates a smol introvert such as myself. And in my mind if these people don’t accept me because I’m not being definitive enough or I took too long then I almost feel like I’ll be alone all over again, and this is a fear that a lot of people have honestly. But I’m a nice guy and I’m trying my best so you better be welcoming, you bunch of fuckin’ queers. And obviously with the topic of sexuality, it doesn’t matter where we are or how far you think we’ve come, by merely mentioning it, I will be opening up a primordial box of bullshit which will include every single stupid argument and question since the dawn of time. [It’s not natural.] There’s gay animals. [Adam and Steve.] That’s based on a story and the protagonist that arrives later probably doesn’t agree with you. [Why can’t we have straight pride?] I could spend 10 hours on all the classic crap and people would still be asking the same things. This being posted on the internet, my hopes are so incredibly low, lower than my self-esteem.  Wow, that is unhealthy. I need to stop doing that. This video is about internalized oppression and the problems of language. I’m not here to pontificate on every topic tangentially related to the entire concept of gayness. *ASMR voice*: Pontificate on every topic tangentially related to the concept of gayness.  

There’s other humans and all the time in the world left for that. The time in the world coincidentally being not much longer. Climate change LMAO. But I had to tell my story so people would understand me and these things. Why coming out is still a big deal because queer people are often invisible and suffering until they have to do it. Some people grow up in supportive environments and it’s a positive experience. But more likely, especially around the world outside of the big cities, it isn’t. This is not a fight that is anywhere near over. Even in Britain today people are debating whether children should be taught to be accepting of sexual and gender identity in school.

Queer people exist. Choosing not to accept them is not an option.

To anyone watching this that isn’t out, it’s okay. You’re okay. You were born this way, it’s right, and anyone that has a problem with it is wrong. Based on your circumstance, you might not feel ready to tell people yet or that it’s safe and that’s fine, too. Just know that living your truth, with pride, is the way to be happy. You are valid. It gets so much better. And the future is clear. It’s pretty queer.

So there we go. Now I can proceed authentically in my life with full disclosure. Cute mutuals know to slide into the DMs. And you can all fuck off and leave me alone.

Bye.

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 5

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 5

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes:  I know I've been trying to keep this story gender-nuetral, but dwarves have a habit of referring to people (Even Gimli to Legolas, though he's a lot younger than our golden boy) as "lad/laddie" "lass/lassie." Or even "young one," I've heard Balin call Bilbo. So for this story, I'll just put [lad/lass/y-o] in parenthesese, and you can just hear whichever one you choose. :)

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

The Elves stopped just outside the northern border of the Mirkwood, to the west, to wait for the dwarves. But apparently the little guys just didn't give a shit.

The whole group camped for three days, then three more days, and by the end of it, you were even growing impatient. It was mainly the younger Elves that shared your impatience, but Elves like Elvenqueen and Erestor and Haldir seemed to think that they had all the time in the world, la la fucking la...

Legolas seemed in-between, irritated at the dwarves for being so late but not really caring in the long run. You tried several times to approach him and apologize, but he always seemed to disappear at the most inconvenient times imaginable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- you were getting sick and tired of frolicking-- the sign of a camp on a distant ridge, a couple of days away, gave the Elves hope that the dwarves finally got their heads out of their asses and decided to show up. A couple of Elves seemed to puff some horses out of thin air, and galloped off to meet them.

"We get horses?!" You'd screeched, and wheeled on your friends-- Tauriel hadn't come, so Lindir, Elros, and pissy Blue-Eyes were the only actual friends here you had, even though all the other Elves were very nice to you. "Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me we got horses?!" You could've been riding to pass this time. Not that you knew how to ride a horse, but that wasn't the point.

Elros blinked at you in disbelief. "Those Elves awaited us on the border with horses enough for all. You have not seen them before?"

"No, dammit, or I would've been riding to pass the time!" You hadn't noticed them, because a certain Rivendell Elf had forced you to learn Elvish... You rounded on him. "Lindir! If you hadn't made me sit here and learn Elvish, I could've been riding!"

Lindir stared at you, then slowly raised an eyebrow challengingly. "You do not know how to ride, do you?"

You frowned. "That's not the point!"

Both Elros and Lindir chuckled amongst themselves. You huffed theatrically. "Fine, jackasses. I'm off to pet one of those sweet animals. You can teach me Elvish later."

Before either of them could stop you, you all but ran off, hoping not to slam into anybody or trip or cause something to fall that'd cause a huge mess. You were prone to all of them. And there were horses, enough for everybody there, and three very fat ponies that you almost started squealing over. Those, you guessed, were for the dwarves.

But one horse, out of all of them, caught your eye.

A sleek, gorgeous black, with a bright white star on his forehead. He was built for speed, like a racehorse, but he was sturdy, too. You looked for something to mark him as belonging to a certain Elf-- because you knew Elves loved horses, and that like all horse people, even look at their horse wrong and you make it on their kill list-- but they all seemed randomly selected out of somebody's stables, dressed in the same dark leather tack and saddlebags.

"Oooooh," You approached him quietly, and he nickered softly at you, his dark eyes scanning you and the Elves and the other horses warily. He seemed only recently tamed. "You, fine sir, are gorgeous."

"I beg your pardon?"

You promptly fell backward. Shit! Talking horses, too?! "What the fuck?!"

Legolas, with a smug smirk plastered onto his absurdly perfect face, sailed into existence from around a dapple gray mare. "Valar tell me you were talking to the horse."

"No, I can tell you I was talking to the horse," You sighed in relief, shaking your head as you stood. "But don't worry your platinum head, Goldie, all Elves are equally beautiful creatures."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mellon."

You stroked the black's face gently. "No seriously though, he's beautiful. Does he have a name?"

Blue-Eyes didn't look up from brushing his mare's mane. "Most of the horses came from Rivendell and Rohan, which they bought on the journey. The rest came from the Woodland stables. I doubt you will find his name, if he has one."

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn't ask if you could have the horse. You'd always wanted one, but for... Personal reasons that had to do with your biological father, you never got one. "Well... I'll just refer to him as The Black, then."

Blue-Eyes turned around, and started inspecting his tack. "Hm... He seems to have come from our own stables." He stroked behind the stallion's ears, and the horse snuffed appreciatively.

"Legolas," You said quickly, realizing you should catch him when you have the chance. "I'm sorry for not telling you about me leaving if this didn't go well. It wasn't my choice; Thranduil wanted me to go with Elrond that day, but I asked if I could stay. He sent me on this mission to see if I was worthy enough to stay in his Palace of Fabulous. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I didn't think anyone would care if I left."

Blue-Eyes got a confused look. "Why... Why would you think that?"

You gave him a sad, lopsided smile. "No one has before."

Recognition, then regret, flashed across Blue-Eyes's face. "Oh, Sairen... I am truly sorry, mellon nin, I should not have been angry with you. I didn't realize... I should have, and I should not have been upset with you. I just... I do care if you leave, and, if I'm honest, I do not want you to go."

You patted his shoulder. "Just so long as you forgive me."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "Of course, mellon, if you can forgive me."

You grinned. "Forgiven." You nudged him with your shoulder. "I'm just glad we're friends again. I've never had so many people be nice to me, but only a handful of you I consider my friends."

"And who among us hold that honor?" He asked teasingly.

Oh shit... You'd seen movies where somebody's asked this question, and if the askee shows even the slightest bit of hesitation or interest in any of the friends, asker became pissed and/or jealous. Wait... Why do I care about that? You turned to him with a huge smile. "Well you and Tauriel, DUH, and then there's Lindir and Elros now. Just wait, I'll be friends with Haldir and Erestor too, and then your mom-- by the time I'm finished I'll even make your dad like me!"

Legolas chuckled. "I hope so, mellon."

"By the way," You said, and reached down to grab a handful of grass to give to the Black. "Lindir and Elros are trying-- and failing-- to teach me Elvish. I'm a horrible student, namely because I'm Elvish-challenged. Still, I'm learning, and I want you to teach me something very specific."

He looked confused. "What?"

You smiled. "Teach me the history of Middle-Earth! Everything you can! I can't read Elvish, but you can, and you know the stories pretty well, I'm guessing. So start with how the world began and continue on from there."

Legolas smiled. "Very well, Sairen." In one quick movement, he mounted his mare, then reached down for your hand. "Come. We will ride, and I will tell you all that I know."

You took his hand, feeling a spark from static you'd built up from petting the horse. He hefted you effortlessly up behind him, then urged his horse into a canter as you rode away from camp.

***

Needless to say, you fell off twice.

Once, you let go of Legolas for just a second as his mare jumped a small log, and whoops, there you go. After, still not learning your lesson, you let go of him while trotting beside a river and the horse's gait made you slide right off before you even realized what was happening.

Then you learned not to let go of Blue-Eyes, mostly because he laughed his Elvish ass off every time you fell, after making sure you were okay.

As for world history, it was all very confusing. There were like six different versions of somebody and a hundred different other guys shared the same name and places and descendants and confusing time periods and just ugh. That was one thing you remembered from Earth: Tolkien's works had always been confusing.

Long story short, though, there was a guy called Eru, or Illuvatar, and he created a bunch of friends through thought. These friends of his became the Valar, and Illuvatar created the whole universe-- Ea-- through more thought. Then he had all his friends-- fourteen of them-- sing, and they created the vision of Valinor, then Arda, and the mischief-maker was Melkor, brother of god-king Manwe.

Now, after a long bout of building and making and stuff they created Valinor and Tirion and Mandos and all that, and they created birds and beasts, but Melkor got jealous and tried to ruin it at every fucking turn. Seriously, the guy didn't give them a break.

Then, Aule, another Valar, who made a lot of shit, wanted to have a bunch of kids so created the little guys known as dwarves, and made them to be especially tough and hardy and stuff because they were supposed to be around during the time of Melkor. But, Illuvatar appeared in his living room one night and said "I think the fuck not my kids come first" which made Aule reeeaaaaaallly upset, so he tried to kill the dwarves (Supreme parenting 2.0!), but then Illuvatar said "wait idiot they can still live" so Aule put them in stasis-mode for like several million years, until somebody "accidentally" unleashed some new Elves into Middle-Earth-- which had no moon or sun.

So duh Orome shows up, says "hi" and everybody runs for their lives except for a few brave souls, who round everybody back up. So three particular Elves, Finwe, Lenwe, and Ingwe, who you're pretty sure were brothers, went to Valinor with Orome to see if it was suitable for Elves-- and it was pretty much Elven paradise, or Vegas or something.

THUS CAME THE FIRST SUNDERING OF THE ELVES, or, that's how dramatically Leggy told it; the Teleri came to rest on the shores of Aman instead of going still further (Who earlier had split further and some became the Sindar, who had stayed in Beleriand, and the Silvan Elves, who'd stayed in the forests of Beleriand or something, of which Blue-Eyes was the first.), the Nandor who got scared of mountains and refused to go further, and the Noldor, who came all the way to Valinor.

Once actually in Aman, the Elves loved it there. They were in paradise. Water. Books. Flowers. Sparkles. Everything an Elf dreamed of. They built a city on a huge hill called Tirion upon Tuna (No you refrained from laughing.), made of silver and gold and more sparkles, and there was lots of peace, until Melkor was finally caught and chained.

Peace, lots of peace, boring shit, more peace, then BAM, the idiot Valar let the bastard go, like dumbasses. Melkor hadn't changed of course, no one does. He started rumors like some crazy gossiper and started up a whole bunch of shit. At that time, this guy called Feanor was around. He was like, the Elf of Elves, but he had some breathtaking anger management issues because after his mom died, his dad waited like a couple thousand years then got married again, and he definitely did not like his stepmom.

Or his two half-brothers.

They were pretty cool guys, Fingolfin and Finarfin, and each brother had like a dozen kids each, one of Finarfin's, get this, was Galadriel. One of Thingol's kin? Celeborn. Elrond? Yeah, he's the grandson of Beren and Luthien, the son of Earendil, raised by Maglor, related to Turin, and his grandparents were Tuor and Idril, the latter of which was the daughter of Turgon, who was the son of Fingolfin, who was the brother of Feanor, so yeah.

Holy fucking shit. Their god stories were kinda hard not to believe when people still existed who could vouch for them.

So this Feanor guy created a trio of sparklies beyond all sparklies, called, the Silmarils. He got a mild case of dragonsickness, boasting and hoarding and showing off and gloating, but Melkor made him think his brothers were trying to steal his sparkles, which, fuck no, how dare they, and he made his brothers think that Feanor was trying to usurp their father Finwe's throne.

Damn that guy knew how to stir up some shit.

One of Melkor's chief servants? Sauron, the Dark Lord, previously known as Sauron the Sparkly Maiar Who Wouldn't Hurt A Butterfly. Balrogs? Yup, Melkor made them, too.

Basically, Feanor started a revolution against the Valar and Melkor, who he called Morgoth, because Melkor was just too pretty of a name for such a bad guy, who stole every single light with the help of a hideously large spider called Ungoliant, killed Finwe, then took the Silmarils.

Feanor was piiiiiiissed.

So the Noldor left Tirion, killed some guys that tried to reason with them that turned out to be Elves, the Teleri, got cursed by Mandos, then Feanor, his sons, and a couple hundred who he knew didn't question him set off on stolen boats and burned them when they reached shore, leaving everybody else-- Galadriel included-- to walk the fucking Helcaraxe, a snowy strait wasteland, to get to Beleriand, which was filled with sparkling twinkle-toes Elves and much-less-serious dwarves-- who were friends.

There was also a good portion of the story dedicated to Turin, Beren and Luthien, and the couple known as Maedhros and Fingon, who you instantly adored: Maedhros, chained to a jagged cliffside for who-knows-how-long, and Fingon, who wanted so badly to save him, and eventually carried up to the cliffside by an eagle; he had to cut off Maedhros's hand, but the story was so heartfelt you were still internally squealing about it.

Yeah so that happened, and then a bunch of war and slaying and something about a Fall of Gondolin and the Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien leading up to a whole lot of human-caused shit with Numenor, and then Illuvatar blew everything up and restarted, essentially. Toward the end of the second age, Sauron (The fucker had somehow lived through all that evil-cleansing shit.), in the form of a fancy-prancy Elf named Annatar, suggested the making of the Rings of Power. Three, a smart guy who hadn't fallen for any of Annatar's shit, Celebrimbor, hid for the Elves, while Sauron/Annator helped forge the rest in order to control them, making one ring, above all.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf  lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die,

And one for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

That was totally cool and stuff, and a handful of well-known Elves-- Gil-Galad, Glorfindel (Who'd uh, previously died due to a balrog trying to touch his hair.), Elrond-- and you're betting Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil-- plus a bunch of well-known humans, lead by Isildur's dad, Elendil, and probably some dwarves, all came together with their armies and formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, totally discounting every dwarf that was there.

The nine kings who'd been given rings? Yeah, those were cursed, and because Men are greedy, they became shadows of their former selves, black-clad servants of Sauron, known as the Ringwraiths-- or, even cooler, Nazgul.

So there was a huge battle. Gil-Galad fell. Isildur's dad fell. Isildur cut off the One Ring from Sauron's hand, Sauron faded away, and Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom to destroy the Ring. But he was weak, and was seduced by its power, and Elrond just stood there screaming his name apparently.

So there'd been roughly a couple thousand years of peace, and nobody knew where the Ring was. You doubted it was anywhere safe or secure, and much less that Sauron was actually dead.

Also, the Elves were fading. That scared you.

"What?! Great, I got sucked into a world where I'm just gonna die!"

Legolas laughed. "No, mellon nin, we are fading. Not dying. We just long for home, and our kind is slowly leaving Middle-Earth. This world becomes gray to us after so long of living here. We go across the sea, to the Undying Lands of Aman and Valinor."

"Okay," You leaned around him to see his face. "What is it with you Elves and the sea?! What's so important about it, if even you've never seen it yourself?! I certainly haven't seen any kind of ocean or sea."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "The first sound ever heard by the Elves was flowing water. It calls us home, in a way. It is said by my people that in water there yet lives the echo of the Music of the Ainur that first created this world."

"Huh," You said, tilting your head. "Guess that does make it really interesting..."

The sound of another pair of hoofbeats, coming up from behind, nearly made you fall off of the horse again. "Orcs?!"

Blue-Eyes grinned smugly. "Orcs do not ride horses, Sairen."

"Duh. I knew that. Fuck you."

"I'd rather you not without my consent."

"That's not always what it means!" You hid your blush by moving so your head was behind his back. Damn Elves...

It was Erestor, riding a gorgeous flaxen stallion. "Legolas, Elvenqueen calls upon the company of [Y/N]."

Nervously, you peered around Blue-Eyes's side. "Is that bad?"

Legolas spurred his own mare into a canter as he followed after Erestor. "Not in the least, mellon."

When you returned to camp, Erestor and Legolas took care of the horses, while they sent you on ahead-- by yourself, to a scary yet badass Elvenqueen you might glare you out of existence if you breathed wrong, like the wonderful friends they were-- to the Elvenqueen.

She sat by one of the center campfires, surrounded by a drove of Elves eagerly listening to whatever she was saying. Even in the firelight, she looked really young, but really regal and noble and even though she didn't have a wrinkle on her body you could tell she'd been around for eons.

All went silent when you approached. Nervously, you bowed. "Y-you wished to see me, your majesty?"

"Yes," She said, and waved to a place on a log across from her. "Sit."

You weren't terrified or anything. Just 'cause she decided not to skin you alive a couple days ago didn't mean she couldn't change her mind. You caught a glimpse of Elros in the crowd, and he gave you a reassuring nod: Don't worry, you won't die yet.

Comforting.

"Tell something of your world," She said.

You balked. Hadn't Thranduil told her everything you'd said? They seemed like the type of couple to do just that. Hadn't Legolas at least given her some information? They seemed close. You swallowed hard, readjusting yourself on the log. "What uh... What do you want to know?"

She thought for a second. "A tale."

You shifted. Sure, that was specific. You'd read billions of books (Well, maybe not quite that much...), but you couldn't remember any that Elves would want to hear aside from series’, like Temeraire, or The Gospel of Loki, or Eon the Last Dragoneye. Maybe you could use a movie, but Marvel and Transformers were too long and in-depth. You thought for a minute. You didn't even know how to give a much-shortened version of Eragon.

But out of everything, it was your best bet to tell a story and be safe from explaining your world's past, or things of your world, or cultures, mythology, or the concept of giant robots from another planet that hide by transforming into cars. Eragon was the closest thing you had to Lord of the Rings that you could remember right off the top of your head that was most similar; it had some of the same beasts, like dragons and werewolves, it was set in the same genre and had dwarves and Elves and Men, even if urgals were a new one... Then again, you weren't sure how they'd take dragons being good instead of hoarding assholes.

So, you got started.

As a hobby, you wrote a lot of fanfiction, which had mainly been for Lord of the Rings; you couldn't remember any of it now, of course, but you'd also started your own fantasy stories that had never been published. You were good with storytelling.

There were points where you had to pause and remember what happened next, or try to find words that explained the guilt or sadness or general feels of the story, but you did pretty good. By the time you were finished, the sun had came up and it was already noon, and the Elves that'd gone off to see if that camp was for dwarves were coming back, with a couple of pony-sized rams with shaggy coats carrying three tiny buff hairy guys.

Elvenqueen regally stood. "My thanks, [Y/N]. That was a wonderful story." She sailed through the ranks of the Elves, which parted before her like reeds to a boat.

"Is that a true story?" Lindir asked you, eyes wide.

You scoffed. "If it were true, I'd've had a dragon named Saphira or Shruikan. I have no dragon." You clapped your hands together. "So! When do I get to meet the dwarves?"

Blue-Eyes-- who'd joined later in the story, and another Elf caught him up on what was going on while he half-listened to what else was going on-- mockingly rolled his eyes. "Patience, mellon. I cannot think of any Eldar whom would willingly want to make the acquaintance of a dwarf."

You gave him a pointed look. "What about Thingol's people?"

Silence. Finally, Elros busted out laughing, and clapped the now-stunned Legolas on the back. "They have a point, mellon!"

But Blue-Eyes was right. It was only a couple hours before you were sought out by a Lothlorien Elf, who told you Thorin wanted to meet "the one who hailed from far." Apparently, nobody here felt like saying "the person that came from another planet." Not as mysterious, apparently.

So you followed the Elf to a tent, much smaller than those of the Elves, and a lot less colorful and, dare you say it, fashionable. Literally, it just looked like a bunch of old dark-colored blankets had been stitched together haphazardly. But, if you looked at the tools and tack of the rams, they were just doing it in spite of the Elves, because they had really good craftsmanship.

You weren't sure what to do. "Uhhh... Knock knock?"

You belatedly remembered one of the dwarves was royalty. "Sirs?"

The flap of the tent opened, and you got your first look at a dwarf.

He was an older dwarf, with a long graying beard and frizzy hair, and huge round ears. He looked you up and down in a brief but kind inspection, and, came to the very educated conclusion of, yup, not your normal Elf.

The dwarf smiled. "Ah, you must be [Y/N]." He sounded more Scottish than anything, and you were instantly relaxed. "The one from a far place. Not a normal Elf, then?"

You shook your head. "No sir. Just got here about a month and a half ago, actually."

He raised a hand. "Now now, we are all a part of this expedition, and I don't like being referred to as 'sir.' I am Balin to you."

You couldn't help but smile. He was a lovable little guy, a very sweet old dwarf. "Okay then. But, uh... Should I call Thorin or Dwalin 'sir'?"

Balin thought about that. "Ehhh... Thorin, yes. Dwalin? No."

You nodded, and Balin lead you inside the tent. It was pretty cozy, with three logs covered in roughish furs for makeshift beds. A small cooking fire was set up in the middle, and two other dwarves sat by it, halting their dwarvish conversation when they seen you and Balin. "This is they," Said Balin, in an introductory way. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], from far places."

The dwarf who you assumed was Dwalin-- buff, sleeveless, and with viscious muttonchops that made him look like Wolverine-- scoffed. "Tell me," Holy shit, he sounds like Leonidas from 300! "[Y/N], do you perhaps come from the Iron Hills?"

"Iron... What?" You were confused. Hadn't any of the Elves talked about you being from Earth? "N...No. I come from a place called Earth."

"Dwalin," Said the other guy, who radiated kingship, authority, and regal dwarfish-ness. He didn't take his eyes off you, like you were a predator ready to strike that he was wary of. He had a beard, but braided neatly down, and long dark hair. He wore dark navy blue and brown fur armor, and his voice was like, super deep. "They are not of the Iron Hills."

"Uh... Thank you?"

Thorin stood, and you bowed. "I'd uh, use some really respectful greeting, but I don't know any in dwarvish yet, so, it's an honor to meet you, Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin nodded. "I would say the same, if I knew you deserved any honor," He replied. Ouch.

You didn't know what to say. He obviously had no love for Elves. "What uh... What made you think I was from the Iron Hills, wherever that is?"

"To the east of Erebor, [lad/lass/y-o]," Balin informed you, and Dwalin whacked him so hard upside the head you could've swore they broke something.

"Oh. What made you think--"

Thorin looked at you with a look that said stfu so you did. "The dwarves of Erebor think little of Elven magic, or wizards. We did not believe a portal strong enough to pull someone from another world could exist. And as I have discovered, it does not."

You were confused. "What do you mean? You mean the ears? Those were latex, I swear, but suddenly they weren't. You can ask Thranduil, I'm not from these parts."

Thorin glared at you. "I would rather not converse with the Elvenking. He does not hear the word of others. As for you... It is clear you are merely an Elf of strange upbringing, who lost themselves in the wrong woods."

"Okay," You were starting to get irritated. You loved Middle-Earth, but you weren't from Middle-Earth. You didn't belong, like always, and you were ready to defend your position. In Game of Thrones--you'd never gotten far in that series, and had only started the books-- Tyrion Lannister told Jon Snow to armor himself in what people thought his weakness was, so that it would no longer be his weakness. That's exactly what you'd done over the course of your life, and you weren't about to lose that now. "Listen, I can show you the damn portal. It wasn't made by Elves, or wizards, or any of that other shit. The inscription on the portal came from the time of Gondolin, if that means anything to you. Do I talk like an Elf, to you? Do I act like one? The Elves were ready to kill me, just because I breathed wrong near their damn trees after being chased by orcs on oversized dogs. If I weren't from another world, do you honestly think I'd have such elaborate stories?"

Behind Thorin, Balin patted his hands down, giving you the silent signal to shut up. Glacing at Thorin's pissed off face made you listen. "How am I to believe you?"

You made a face. "Don't you dwarves have any kind of lie-detecting abilites?"

Balin sighed. "None that we can think of, [lad/lass/y-o]."

You huffed in defeat. "Okay, okay, you know what? You dwarves are beyond stubborn, so I'll just tell you once: I come from another world. If you don't believe me, fine, but I'd actually like to make friends with dwarves, thank you very much."

"Oh!" Dwalin chuckled deeply. "Then they must not be an Elf, Thorin! None in their right mind would go cavorting with a dwarf!"

Thorin frowned. "Perhaps a spy... But wait... You are not of the Woodland Elves. I see that now."

You looked down at yourself. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"You carry yourself differently," He began to circle you, and you felt like you were being circled by a vulture. An angry vulture... "Most unlike them, or any Elf I have heard tale of. Whom were you raised by?"

"Uh, my mother," You quipped with a cocked eyebrow. "Her name is [M/N]."

"And where do your kin reside? With the Rangers of Dúnadain?"

"With the what? Is that some kind of club?"

"Club?" Thorin repeated. "You believe that to be a weapon?" He gave you a disbelieving look, and you sighed.

"No, no. Where I come from, a club is a group of people that gather together and talk about stuff they like, or try to run the schools or shit like that," You were trying to explain with excessive hand movements, but you only seemed to be freaking him out.

He narrowed his eyes. In a rough and rusty language that sounded like it could be dwarvish, he said something; you didn't even catch any of the words.

You stared at him blankly for a second. "Mae g'ovannen...?" You tried, wincing at your hopeless pronunciation of the words.

Thorin regarded you with a newfound look of awe. Behind him, Dwalin chuckled. "That, was his attempt at Elvish. And you did not understand what he said?"

You stared. "...No? Was I supposed to? Did you just say something important? Or insult me? Hey, I'm only just starting to learn Sindarin!"

Thorin's look of awe shifted to a scowl and a bitter smirk. "It was not Sindarin, I can assure you. It was Quendi, that of the Noldor, the only Elvish my people know."

"Quen-- Oh, I get it now. Different Elves, different languages, it's all coming together..." You swung your arms casually. "Ok, so, what'd you say?"

"I told you that you are an imposter, and no better than Orc-filth" Said Thorin absentmindedly, "Which would send any Elf into a fit of well-groomed rage."

You couldn't help yourself. You burst into a fit of giggles, making all three dwarves look at you weirdly. "I-I'm sorry," You wheezed, "'Well-groomed rage'; yeah, that's pretty much what they do!"

"What of this quest, then?" Challenged Thorin as he took a seat. He gestured for you to do the same. "If you are not of the Wood Elves, yet you are indeed Elven, why are you on this journey? What purpose do you have here?" He poured you a drink; you'd never really tasted ale or mead of any kind, and recoiled from the smell.

"In order for you to understand, I'd have to tell you the story," You told him, and he gestured for you to continue. So you did. "I fell from the highest branches of an oak tree playing a game with my family. It was a standard day. Standard, pointless life. A life in a dying world that was way too fucking overpopulated, in the wrong damn places. It was a twisted kind of home. I didn't like it, and did what I wanted, so people hated me. I was dressed as an Elf--hence the ears.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, still in the forest, and am suddenly being chased by orcs on the backs of oversized dogs with six-packs on their faces."

Thorin grew confused. "Six-pack? What is that?"

You patted your stomach. "Those rows of six square tight muscles you get on you stomach if you work out. Now lemme finish!

"I get caught up in a river, shot by an arrow, and am half-dead by the time the Elves arrive lead by Blue-Eyes-- uh, Legolas-- and they're ready to kill me, but because I'm pretty much dead and in their forest, I'm some kind of threat. Because they're real nice like that. Thranduil-- who I kindly refer to as, Lord Fabulous-- wanted Leggy to kill me on the spot. Blade to my neck and everything. Until I pointed out that I could go home if we found the portal and would never return by pain of death. Ouch, but whatever.

"So we look, find it, and surprise! Can't get through. Can never see my family again. Can never go home. Suddenly I'm a real Elf. I go into a kind of depression before I realize that this place was a fictional world from where I'm from, which I'd loved, but for some reason can't remember shit now." You pointed to him. "Your name is important. Very. I know that much. You do something really cool, probably.

"But the Council of Wisdomy Guys was summoned, and they decided that it would be best if I proved my worthiness to stay among the Wood Elves on this mission. No pressure!" You grinned maniacally. "What brings you here? I hear a certain gray-robed wizard?"

"Ah, yes," He sighed. "Gandalf. My father met with him whilst I was in the depths of Erebor, so I heard no word of it and could make no protest against it until my father told me that I was to travel with two of my choice to assist the Elves. I only tolerate this for my father's sake, and he claims this will be a good lesson for kingship one day. But when I heard word of someone from foreign lands, I feared it was the dwarves of the Iron Hills attempting some form of scheme. Never have they liked us, and they never shall."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well... Most of the Elves may not like you either, but some of them aren't so bad."

Dwalin choked on his bread. Balin gave you a sad look. "But they tried to kill you!"

You shrugged. "I'm used to getting awful treatment. And besides, now that they know me, I've made some friends. Tauríel, the Captain of the Guard; Lindir of Rivendell, and Elros son of Elrond... And then there's Blue-- Legolas."

"Why d'ya refer to him that way?" Dwalin demanded with a disgusted look.

You shrugged. "A nickname. Where I come from, it's a gesture of friendship. I call Lindir 'Lindy' and he hates it, I can tell."

Thorin snorted. "Well, [Y/N] of Earth... Should the Wood Elves refuse your company, Dale might make a nice, temporary placement until you find elsewhere."

You smirked, nodding slowly. "I heard that emphasis on temporary. Don't worry; I thank you for your hospitality, but Lord Elrond is staying at the palace until I return. If I fail, he'll take me back to Rivendell with him."

"Good. One less Elf on our borders to deal with."

"Oh screw off."

Thorin grinned bitterly, but waved a hand. "Begone, I am done with questioning you."

You scoffed, and Dwalin took your drink and guzzled it. to your shock and amazement. Out of the three of them, only Balin wished you a goodnight.

But you weren't tired, which you realized as you found yourself heading back toward the horses. "[Y/N]," Said a familiar voice, and you turned to see Haldir striding toward you.

You bowed, suddenly recognizing him as somebody of high rank. "Mae l'ovannen, Haldir of Lothlorien. What's up?"

He blinked in confusion. "I..." He slowly looked up. "Believe the stars..."

You chuckled. "No, no; that's an expression, where I come from. It means how are you doing, what is it you need, nice to see you, etcetera etcetera."

He stared at you. "...'Et... Cetera...?'"

You slumped over. "Oi... It means a general list of similar meanings that're implied but nobody feels like saying."

Haldir smiled. "Oh, I see. Lindir wished for you to return, so that you could continue your lessons in Sindarin." He didn't miss your look of disappointment. He smirked. "Perhaps, when you are finished with Sindarin, and already know Common, Quenyan would be best for you to learn."

"Pfft," You waved a hand. "I'll live forever. Might as well. I'll toss some dwarvish in there while I'm at it."

Haldir made a face. "I suppose that is up to you, but every dwarf speaks Common, so it would not pose any form of language barrier for that to be avoided..."

*** You were woken up no later than the crack of fucking dawn, by an elaborate blowing of horns that probably alerted ninety-seven percent of the orcs of the northern borders to your presence, but oh what the hell.

What else you woke up to?

"Galu, mellon nin," Said Legolas with a shit-eating grin. "Ci maer?"

Slowly, your groggy eyes went from wide to thin, angry slits. "...I swear to the Valar, Blue-Eyes... I just fucking woke up. What are you saying? Speak in Common, or I'll tear you limb from limb because I am not a morning person."

He gave you a look, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Le leich, Sairen. But if you are going to learn Elvish, then you must actually try to do so. Tell me, what did I say?"

You shrugged and slumped over onto a log. "Grapefruit, melons win, kid mobster."

Blue-Eyes chuckled, but internally, you busted out laughing after realizing what you said. "No, [Y/N], you have to do this. Concentrate. What did I say?"

With a sigh, you thought about Lindir's grueling lessons with you yesterday. "...You said, 'A blessing,' which is basically 'hi,' first; Galu. Then you said 'my friend,' and, 'are you well.'"

Blue-Eyes nodded, looking excited that you were getting the hang of Elvish. "Excellent. Now respond to me in Sindarin."

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. In the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster, you said, "Galu, Legolas, ni maer. A gin?" Blessings, Legolas, I am well. And you?

"Ni maer," He replied, then began polishing his bow. "Worry not, Sairen, soon Sindarin will come to you thoughtlessly. You already swear to our gods, instead of your own."

You did roll your eyes this time. An idea hit you. "Hey..." You looked at him with a huge smirk. "What's fuck you in Elvish?"

Legolas paled, then blushed. "You will learn how to speak intimately to another later--"

You huffed. "NO! What's your most offensive insult?!"

Blue-Eyes thought for a minute. "...Ego, which is the equivalent to what you mean when you proclaim that Common phrase of yours... Hopefully, most of the time."

You bit back a laugh. "...Eggo? As in, L'eggo my eggo?"

Blue-Eyes gave you a concerned look. "I... I am not sure what you mean, and it is not pronounced as you say it."

Commotion started up, and you spun around in your seat wildly to try and see why everybody was suddenly moving and packing up. "What's goin' on?"

Legolas smiled. "Well, Sairen, we are off to track the orcs."

You looked at him in a panic, pointing futilely to an Elf packing up the cooking supplies. "B-but... What about breakfast?" That sentence reminded you of someone... Someone small and innocent and prone to causing disasters... But who? Blue-Eyes didn't give you time to figure it out.

"You will not starve, mellon nin," He told you gently, and stood. "You are an Eldar now; you'd best learn what your body can do now rather than later." He smiled down at you. "Dadwenithon."

As if you understood what that meant, he practically skipped away. "...Dad marathon?" You repeated in disbelief. You got up and went to find somebody you knew, preferably not the Elvenqueen, Erestor, Haldir, or Thorin, because they'd just find you childish, or annoying. Elros was quick to find, and you approached him and his palomino steed with a very confused expression.

"Hey Elros?"

Elros looked up from brushing his horse's mane and smiled. "Ai, len suilon, mellon nin. Ci maer?"

You rolled your eyes. Stupid Elves and their five hundred different ways to say 'hi...' "Galu, Elros. Ni maer, a gin?"

"Ni maer eithro. What brings you to my company?"

"What the hell does dad marathon mean?"

Elros froze and looked at you like you were crazy. "I beg your pardon?"

You gestured wildly over your shoulder. "Legolas got up, walked away, and said dad marathon! And I've got no idea what he said!"

Elros grinned knowingly. "Ai,Legolas said dadwenithon. It means, roughly, I will return." He gave you a disgusted look. "And that is not how it is pronounced at all."

"Oh. Dadwenithon?"

Elros smiled proudly. "Yes! Precisely! Well done! But if Legolas told you he would return to you, evidently he meant for you to stay where you were."

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "Oh. I'll be going, then. Novaer." You didn't realize you'd said an Elvish farewell until you'd reached where you'd originally been seated, but that jumped out of your head when you seen Legolas waiting with his dappled mare and the black stallion (Heh heh...) from yesterday.

"Ooh! What's this all about?"

"I decided you should have your own mount throughout the course of this journey," He replied with a smile. "He is yours for now. Name him as you will, and by the end of this journey, I shall see if you may keep him."

You stared at him like he'd just grown a second head. "Wh... What? Keep him?"

Legolas smiled. "Surely you would wish to ride at will throughout the northern parts of Mirkwood?"

A huge smile spread across your face, and you excitedly spread your hands. "Well, duh! Gin hannon, Legolas! I'll call him..." You took the reins and looked him in the eye. "Starlight. I've always wanted a black horse called Starlight."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "Well done, mellon. Already, Elvish is beginning to seep into your speech."

You looked at him in surprise. "I did that on purpose you dumb blond."

Legolas's eyes widened slightly. "Man?" Which you understood as, What?

You stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your eyes. "Blehlehleh!"

He recoiled. "What are you doing?"

With a laugh, you stroked Starlight's muzzle. "Messing with you. So you get up from the left side, right?"

Blue-Eyes just looked at you like you were crazy, then shook his head. "Yes, I suppose."

You went around to the left flank of the steed, which snorted suspiciously at you, like it wanted to know what the fuck you were doing. You peered at Blue-Eyes over the stallion's back. "Gimme a leg up?"

Legolas flushed and stared at you blankly. "If that is one of your vulgar insults, I swear to Illuvatar..."

A laugh escaped your throat. "No! Hell no! It means help me up, you moron!"

A sweet smile crossed Blue-Eye's features. "Well, then, come here, mellon nin, and I will aid you." He interlaced his fingers together as he bent down, allowing you to grip both ends of the saddle, step into his hand, and haul yourself up. You nearly fell off the other side, but just managed to catch yourself before you made yourself look like a complete idiot in front of Blue-Eyes, who noticed your struggle but said nothing, to your sweet relief.

Elros trotted through camp on his palomino, saying "Und wendo'hein!"

Legolas mounted his dapple-gray, and looked you up and down. "You are not sitting correctly." He told you, and reached over to pull your shoulders back. "Your shoulders need to make a line to your ankles in the stirrups."

You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Great, now you sound like my collection of Young Rider magazines."

"Your what?" Legolas looked almost offended.

"It's basically a book only about twenty pages long made of cheap paper and filled with random tidbits of information. This series I started collecting when I was eight or nine, then continued until I was about twelve, thirteen... I had a lot of them. I loved horses."

Blue-Eyes furrowed his brow. "Did you have one?"

You scoffed. "In my world, you either have to be rich like Saddle Club or own a farm like Racing Stripes. Or, by some miracle get saved by a badass black Arabian stallion on a desert island." You smiled cheekily at him. "Which, by the way, your facial structure really reminds me of an Arabian horse's. Dished, kinda. And perfect and majestic and all that shit."

Blue-Eyes just looked like he was suddenly being attacked by a pack of savage wargs and he wasn't quite sure what to do. You grinned, and did the first thing all of the books and movies you'd read as a kid had taught you: gently tap your heels into the horse's flanks, and carefully guide their head with the reins. Starlight tossed his head, eager to get moving at a faster pace, and nickered softly as he started off at a walk. Legolas beamed at you as he rode beside you. "Well well, Sairen, it seems you are a natural at riding a horse. Perhaps the blood of the Eldar is finally starting to take a hold of you."

"Not quite," Said a new voice, and Lindir rode up on a sleek bay with a mischievous smile. "Suilad, Legolas! [Y/N]! Your Elvish is improving, but you still need to learn more."

You slumped in the saddle. "Augh, man, do I have to?"

Legolas and Lindir grinned wickedly at each other. "Ai, Lindir, man í lú?"

"Ú, Legolas. Eithro, ci maer?"

"Ni maer, mellon nin, ni maer."

So for a whole five or six hours on the trip, you got bombarded on either side by Blue-Eyes and Lindir trying to teach you Sindarin. At the end of the day, the Elvenqueen asked you for another story, so you told her the first one that popped into your head that you could honestly remember most of: Alladin's Lamp. It had been your favorite fairytail as a child, and while it was meant for younger audiences, the Elves enjoyed it just as much.

Then, Thorin asked to see you again. He asked about your world, and what it was like, and you were happy to get to know them, even if you were an Elf now.

And that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, at some point you'd run out of memorized storybooks, so you focused on myths from various mythologies, and then, even movies. 300 seemed to be a favorite of Thorin's, who overheard, but the Elves were especially interested in Gods of Egypt and The Hunger Games, and the Jedi from Star Wars. When you ran out of that material (It was a long trip with long nights, because apparently Elves didn't really get the concept of sleep.), you even switched to games; Darksiders and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim got their attention, as did The Legend of Zelda.

But of all the damned stories you told them, they seemed most interested in Shakespeare, of all things. You only barely remembered reading Midsummer Night's Dream out of curiosity, but Romeo and Juliet, thankfully, everybody knew the gist of. Thanks to a certain Tom Hiddleston, you knew Coriolanus by heart, so that one wasn't too hard of a story to tell, and neither was (Onc you finally got them off of Shakespeare.) Pirates of the Caribbean, a classic for you, which, one of the characters, now that you thought of it... Will Turner... You couldn't quite remember his face, or Balian's from Kingdom of Heaven, which they all really liked, especially Legolas.

Eventually, the queen dubbed you Taleweaver, which you thought sounded pretty cool, but also a little nerve-wracking, because what if you ran out of stories to tell? You forced yourself to be casual. No worries. You were a writer, after all, just... Now your audience consisted of fantasy people instead of Tumblr bloggers.

No pressure.

One day, Legolas approached you alone as you groomed Starlight. "Yo," You said, s'upping him. "S'up?"

Blue-Eyes looked like you'd just thrown something at him. "Man?" You rolled your eyes. "Galu, mellon, galu. What is it?"

Legolas scoffed. "My mother has declared only a small party of us, including the dwarves, shall scout ahead and see if we can find their trail. Of the party is myself, Elros, Erestor, Haldir, and... you."

You pointed to yourself. "M...Me? The queen specifically requested me to go with you?" You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. "Whhhhhhyyyyyyy???"

Blue-Eyes glared at you as he stroked Starlight's muzzle. "It is nothing out of the ordinary. You wish to prove yourself to my father, do you not? I would like for you to stay in the Mirkwood as well, Sairen, so do not disappoint me."

"Well," You looked up at Starlight's face. "No pressure, right?"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "Not at all." He patted your back. "We begin at dawn tomorrow. Meet me by Starlight once you've woken, and we shall begin." He walked away, but half-turned to call out, "Do not be late!"

You nodded in exasperation, but as soon as he was gone, sighed and placed your face on Starlight's neck. "Mission," You hissed under your breath, just really wishing Lord Fabulous didn't have to be such a jackass. "Impossible."

Tag List:

@hauntedsiriel @tesserphantom @liviaolivia @dumbladores @littlefrenchfryesblog @hibernatingmadhatter @reclusive-chicken-nugget @naryamirie @legolasdeserveslove @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @sagabriar @brushwood-souls @taurlel

If anyone else wants to be tagged, just let me know! And let me know if I missed anyone, too... O-O

Le leich= You’re sweet

[fandom-will-be-my-fall]

Spill your heart out about Walter.

Okay so I basically got this question in what, January?? but I’m answering it now since I just rewatched the movie and have inspiration, sorry for the late reply Anon

Okay so, to start off this post with some keyboard smashing because that my primary go-to for expressing my emotions

sgklhfsgjksdlgdghkjlgjhOHUFLUSKHDGSLIDRGKJGKFSDHGlhjglksdhkglshglllllfa. knjcthxiudhusmnvsoidhéytbvonjyxclkkvbr. haeylicfvshdkgikc

HANDSOME BOY. HANDSOME. ‘NUFF SAID.

I could legit stare all day at his beautiful face… look at him. Enchanting sky blue eyes… fluffy, wavy brown hair, cute round cheeks, lovely smile… those hidden freckles that you can hardly spot and only in certain screenshots but nevertheless they’re there to raise the cuteness factor… ALSO HIS LASHES. MAYBE IT’S NATURAL?? MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE?? WE SHALL NEVER KNOW

Here you may be able to spot the freckles if you squint hard enough. I have 77 screenshots but this is the best example I could find.

Secondly… well, he’s a sticc. A short sticc at that (though still slightly taller than me bc I’m smol), but a sticc regardless! And that seems to be the most attractive cartoon body type for me. Don’t judge me, I just have a thing for twinks, I’m… twinksexual or whatever.

Look at him! He would fit through my doorcrack.

(Maaaybe the reason for me liking sticcs so much is partially the fact that I like the idea of a boyfriend I can protect and support, physically and emotionally. I’m mad at the universe for not letting me scoop him up in my arms bridal style and smooch the HECK outta him.)

I’ve encountered a few posts that claimed he’s got cake but, come on. That concept has canonically been proven to be false, even by Lance. This man is flat and you can pry this opinion off my cold, dead hands.

Speaking of hands! I like his big ol hands. Nice shape. They look soft. I wanna hold them.

According to a DVD commentary, and the visual facts, he has no shoulders whatsoever. Back in Venice Killian was able to restrain him effortlessly with only one foot on his chest, even as he kept struggling ans squirming and generally put in as much effort as he possibly could. Before then, he claimed the database was the first thing he has ever caught in his life.

Conclusion, our boi’s very much NOT athletic. Which makes sense for a scientist, braining all day and stuff, and because he probably barely even eats, or sleeps which are by the way both pretty concerning implications but anyway.

STOP BEATING UP THIS POOR FRAGILE LAD FOR GOD’S SAKE. Makes me want to protect him even more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you get what I mean.

Now, on to the actual reason I’m so head over heels for him, a.k.a his personality.

He is one of the sweetest, kindest, purest boy characters I have ever seen in fiction, if not THE number one himself. (All my other cinnamon roll crushes are, or have been a villain at some point and WILL resort to violence if provoked.) Look at him, his pacifism… is unbreakable. He’s dead set on making the world a better place, by peaceful ways, and helping humanity. If that’s not a quality to be cherished then IDK what is.

And he’s just such a refreshing character. He likes pink, K-dramas, glitter, kittens, things that aren’t traditionally “masculine” (but is never made fun of those things in particular in the movie) and I love that. Nothing’s sexier than a man who’s, despite society’s shitty standards, openly and unashamedly himself!

His femininity is, if anything, just another turn-on. (This didn’t intend to sound sexual… but oh well.) I love his little hand gestures and mannerisms, dorky ramblings, the way he says “yep” popping the “p” at the end, all the small yet significant traits that were incorporated into his character. Bless you, SiD creators, bless you.

Have I said that he’s a genius?? Which is pretty obvious but c’mon, he graduated at 15!! He can modify human genes!! He successfully turned a man into a pigeon on the first try!! (The serum wasn’t the first prototype but we can assume he didn’t experiment on living humans with the previous ones.) And he’s still just 20!! Like what is that if not hella fucking impressive???!??

His inventions, to the untrained eye, may seem “stupid” or “childish” but alas! The observer couldn’t be more wrong! Because despite the odd designs and themes they’re all highly effective, as we have witnessed in the battle against Killian. And he is extremely creative for coming up with such ideas! Told you he’s brilliant!!

Which makes me all the sadder about how much they underappreciated him at the agency. In his words, nobody ever listened to him, or gave him a chance. They just left him and his “weird” ideas next to the men’s bathroom and called it a day. How could they be so blind? Didn’t they see the potential in his inventions? Oh well. Maybe I’m just being a smartass bc I have more knowledge, living outside that universe. But I’m totally right.

And I was honestly ready to throw hands with Lance for hurting the boi even further. (I’d stand no chance whatsoever, but still.)

Oh no baby please don’t cry.

He did cry in that scene though… you could see a tear rolling down his cheek and if it wasn’t for the machine beeping… He did have a pretty rough day afterall. But HEY, if we dwell on it too much the scene loses its comedic effect!! A guy gets sad over a stupid soap opera, har har har!! Now let’s move on, keep it fast and snappy for the kids, don’t let them overthink it!! Can’t have any emotional breakdowns onscreen. Keep it lighthearted y’know. Then let’s kill a random side character and have our dear protagonist almost die twice.

(Well jokes on you Blue Sky! I’m no kid, but a devoted fangirl who can and will overthink any material of my fictional faves at any given opportunity.)

You know what else I love about him though?? His love for animals!! And pigeons, especially Lovey!! He loves her so much, gives her gluten free breadcrumbs, nuzzles her, the first thing he does when he finds out Lance can talk to the pigeons is ask if she loves him too!! Like… That’s so pure and wholesome.

This here. THIS RIGHT HERE. BROTP forever.

(Not gonna lie, I used to be crazy for pigeons for like, an entire year or something. Not as in looking up all the facts there are about pigeons as I do nowadays with cartoons, but I’d feed them regularly and write my little observations on their behaviors. Did you know they sometimes scratch their neck with their leggies like dogs do?)

I think I’ve summed up mostly everything I love about this nerd. Oh wait, almost forgot the sass!! I love how sassy and smug he can be sometimes, in like, a really harmless way but it’s still a very nice characteristic.

Since I’ve ran out of coherent things to say, here’s an incomplete list of things I want to do to Walter Beckett. Put at the end of this post so those of you who were only here for the analysis part and not the selfshippy gushing don’t have to read further:

kiss he

like seriously

just kiss he a whole lot

cover his whole face in kisses

one kiss for each of his freckles. a finishing kiss onto the tip of his nose. then repeat the cycle

hug him. hug him like the world is ending. hug him so tight he can barely breathe

then ofc let go and apologize bc I would never hurt him on purpose

cuddle him

hold him close, let him lay his head on my chest

run my fingers through his hair

listen to his breathing

discover that he’s fallen asleep on me and smile fondly, then soon drift off to sleep myself so we can wake up entangled in eachother the next morning

fuck he

pin him to a wall and snog he

make him go cherry red

fluster he

compliment him. praise him. appreciate him. he’s a prince, a hero, an angel, a wonderful human being and he needs to know this

feed pigeons together

listen to his scientific ramblings and bird facts

write him love letters and give them to him. maybe read it aloud myself if I’m feeling brave so I can see his reaction in real time

serenade he

be the love of his life, and have him be mine

just… soft things, man

cook something for this malnourished sticc

make him small handmade gifts

they’re nothing like his gadgets but I tried

draw he

have him be my muse in general

not like he isn’t now but it would be lovely if he was real too

carry him bridal style

be the feral cryptid that lurks in his house when he isn’t around

sing along to cheesy pop-song together really badly

watch cheesy rom coms

flirt with eachother clumsily until we’re both laughing at our awkwardness

or, alternatively, shower him with compliments until he literally cannot handle it

have sleepovers together

give him hand kisses

be of emotional support

[nascent-chaos]

I'm curious how the boys would react if reader suddenly became a bitty, especially how they would show affection without smothering her

Sans :: … Shit. Did he do that?

He tries brushing off the entire thing like there’s nothing to worry about, though it’s clear from his strained grin that he’s a bit off-put by the entire ordeal. But once the initial shock dies down?

The prank-potential he sees in this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

He’ll make sure to keep a socket on her at all times, sure - the lodge isn’t exactly easy for someone who could sit comfortably on his shoulder to navigate, but with a bit of caution and his blue magic to lend him a hand… well, he’s just thrilled she shares the same sense of humor as he does. Soul-mates, indeed.

From having her sneak into small places to set up an annoying airhorn or whoopie-cushion to ‘accidentally’ misplacing her on the blades of the ceiling fan or ‘losing’ her in the ventilation system, the others are going to be in for a tough time. The real bonding moments come in the form of Sans’ tinkering, which she’ll be only too happy to lend a hand with. She’s the perfect size to help work with some of the smaller bits and bobs of his projects and can easily get in and out of places that he might otherwise be unable to reach. The two will actually spend a good deal of time together while she’s like this, and it won’t be uncommon to find her hiding in his hood during her downtime.

Papyrus :: At first he’s a bit fretful, worried sick as he is that anything she does might result in her hurting herself - sure, he and Reed quickly learn how gravity and terminal velocity affect her differently now that’s she’s only a few inches tall, but the fact that her jumping from, say, a countertop to the floor will only jar her legs a bit won’t be enough to deter him. Nevermind that this is just one of the many excuses he uses to have a reason to carry her around all the time (his big heart just melts every time she sits on his shoulder!). He’ll work alongside Blue to design a full system around the house to help her come and go independently, but isn’t it so much faster to get a lift from your favorite friendly skeleton?

He sees everything they do together now as an adventure. Gardening? The flower beds are just the sort of fabulous jungle his bitty friend would love to explore in! Cooking in the kitchen? Fetching the ingredients he needs is an adventure all its own (of course he’ll keep her far from the actual cooking, lest she get hurt!). And let’s not forget his knack for creating adventures of his own! After all, what kind of great puzzle master would he be if he didn’t first design a smaller mock-up of his grand projects and have his smol assistant help test them out?

Red :: He’s freaking out and is doing a poor job in hiding it. How the hell did this even happen? Is this permanent?! 

It takes a bit before he’s able to calm down and, even then, he’s seeing the lodge in a completely different light now. She sleeps on the fourth floor, and that’s a shit-load of stairs she could break her neck on if she made one wrong move. Going out in the yard? Aren’t there snakes and birds and all kinds of other weird shit that’d try and eat her?

Fuck that - he’ll try his damnest to keep her inside. It’s only after a gentle scolding from Reed that he’ll realize how overbearing he’s been. Still, seeing him fret over her the way he does is enough to keep her from doing anything too over-the-top in his presence. And though he tries his darndest to hide it, Red deeply enjoys the more laid-back moments the two of them share, even if it’s just napping or laughing together as she tries (and fails gloriously) at playing video games with him. As with Classic, you can bet this duo will be up to all sorts of mischief together whenever the opportunity presents itself, And of course, a good, long nap on the couch together at the end of the day is a given. As much as their seemingly endless onslaught of pranks has driven the others - especially Edge - up the wall, even they’ll admit it’s endearing, the way they’ll find Reed nestled in the fur lining of his coat as the two enjoy an afternoon snooze together.

Edge :: He thinks this is the most ridiculous thing ever. Look at her! She’s been reduced to four inches of utter uselessness!

He’ll huff and complain even while he’s keeping an eye light on her, quickly scooping her out of reach of any trouble she might find herself in. While she’ll earn an earful and have to deal with his prattling on about how much trouble she’s now causing him, however, she’ll quickly learn it’s all just hot air he’s blowing off. He clearly seems to relish in every moment she comes to him for help, disguising his genuine happiness at her choosing to rely on him to assist with something behind his usual preening of 'OF COURSE YOU WOULD COME GROVELING FOR MY AID! I AM THE BEST, AFTER ALL! NYEH-HEH!’ Every moment she spends with him, from cooking (okay, so he might find the sight of her rolling a tomato half her size over to him the slightest bit endearing) to chores (did… he just hear something fall into the dishwater?) is a moment he won’t admit he enjoys.

No place is safer for her than atop his shoulder, no hiding spot better than the folds of his scarf. And of course, being the fashionable and immaculate skeleton he is, there is no way he’ll stand to see her in those cheap plastic outfits she considers taking from a dollar-store barbie. Those are hardly sensible for a bitty for whom durability and a wide range of motion is a must! He’ll take it upon himself to create an entirely new wardrobe for her (made to his sense of style, of course), cutting and sewing every last stitch personally because… well, let’s face it, who could do a better job than him? She’d better be grateful for it, though!!

Blue :: Blue is very much like Papyrus in his fretting, but he seems to have more confidence in Reed’s ability to take care of herself. Not that he’s not the first on the scene to lend her a hand when needed, though - you can bet he’s going to be keeping an eye light out on her whenever she’s up to something new. You know, just in case! It’s obvious to see how enamored he is with the entire situation as he now hardly if ever leaves her side. Yes, everything she does seems so much cuter now that she’s only a few inches tall, and yes, he’s going to let her know every chance he gets. The entire pulley system that appears across the lodge practically overnight was his idea, and he’s positively thrilled every time he sees her use it. Although… he does have a bit of a habit of offering up a hand to give her a quick lift to her destination anyway.

‘Why did you guys build all this if you don’t want me using it?’ She’ll tease.

Stretch :: Like many of the others he appears to be a bit nervous from the get-go, but that uncertainty soon evaporates when he sees how quick she is to adapt to her current situation. He, like the Mutt, give her the most freedom around the house, only offering her their help when she’s requested it. He doesn’t like the idea of smothering her with unnecessary concern, even though you can bet he’ll be looking out for her when needed.

The quiet time they’d shared during their little reading sessions together may have been changed up a bit, though - it’s kind of hard for her to flip the pages of a book when said book stands taller than she is. Reed will often settle on his shoulder while they share a book together, the taller skeleton reading aloud as she listens happily (reading along can be a bit strenuous on the neck, but damn if he doesn’t find her head moving along with his words to be the most adorable thing ever, regardless). They’ll often take to her little hideaway in the woods for this, and enjoy some casual chatter with one another along the walks to and from the locale. As with Sans, Stretch’s hood quickly becomes a preferred place of hiding for her.

Hickory :: His adorable human just became travel-sized, and this mutt couldn’t be any happier with the world right now. You’ll be hard-pressed to find a moment when these two are together that our playful pooch isn’t holding Reed, content to go about his day with her tagging along just to watch. Of all the boys he seems to be the most nonplussed by this change, even with the near-constant contact he seems to have with her. Black chalks it up to some residual instinct their world left them with, and the Mutt’s want to make sure no harm comes to her under his watch. But hey, she’s all for tagging along with him as he goes about his day, and she’ll happily sit at the edge of his desk as he works on his latest tune if it means she gets to be the first to hear it~

Black :: Oh, for the love of the Angel -

As if he didn’t have enough on his plate as it is, now his human has gone and been reduced to the size of his phone! He’s clearly irritated by the whole of the situation, not only because of the countless challenges that seem to crop up over the most mundane of topics but because… well… just look at her! How can she be expected to go about her day when something as simple as sitting on the couch involves a ridiculous amount of climbing to do so?!

Right from the get-go, Black is easily the most pessimistic about this entire situation. Like Red, he’s now seeing the threats and challenges the environment is going to present her, and his mind is already working on how to overcome them all in the most efficient way possible. Of course… it’d be a whole lot more helpful if Reed wasn’t so reckless all the time! There will be no less than four separate occasions on the first day that nearly give him a soul attack, and he’ll have to sit down and give her a stern talking-to before he’s finally gotten his point across. Tiny doesn’t mean invincible, after all, and he knows keeping her safe 24/7 would mean being only too overbearing - which certainly isn’t something that needs to be added to his already long list of tasks!

Alright, so… maybe at the end of the day he finds it the slightest bit endearing, seeing how she’ll tackle any task put before her with that glint of determination in her eyes that he admires so, but he’ll sooner die than ever openly admit it!

Dust :: This is the best, most entertaining day of his damn life.

He’s getting an absolute kick out of this entire situation and he’s not afraid to show it. For the most part, he is perfectly content to remain on the sidelines and watch as Reed tackles and overcomes problem after problem. There is a part of her now that reminds him of the 8th fallen child in that she’s only too determined to tackle and succeed over any obstacle that comes before her, and in a way… he’s sort of hoping she’ll fail? There is more than one instance of Dust stepping in when no one else is looking to actively make things more difficult for Reed - moving something she’s been struggling to get to further out of her reach, or flat-out picking her up and placing her on a shelf across the room to see how she’ll deal with the new challenge before her, but he won’t deny the slight hint of gratification he experiences when she just glares at him and accepts the new challenge as what it is - just another challenge. Would he actively put her in a life-threatening situation? Well… not intentionally, but hey. Mistakes happen.

At the end of the day he’s left with a peculiar feeling of satisfaction and bitterness but is pleased to know she’s yet alive and well regardless.

[fan-dumb-trash]

REMILE PART TWOOOOOOOOO

Part One! Part Three! Part Four

*confetti canon* YASSSS FINALLYYYY I HAVE FINISHED THIS!

Sorry for the wait! And also sorry if this isn’t as good as the first one... but I needed to establish some things in order to make Remiles relationship make sense ya know? I’m planning on making at least one, maybe more of these so buckle up sis! Thank you guys for your reblogs and comments and stuff it’s really sweet XD I’m glad to provide some decent Remile content.

Now without further ado, lets get the gay going!

Warnings: Unhealthy Household mention, Kissing, Crying. Violence mention- or lack theorf. Some self deprecation in Remys part. If I missed anything let me know!

Kay so we left off with the boys at the start of their sophomore year oh yeah boi.

I forgot to tell you everyone's ages so HERE WE GO

Patton and Roman are juniors now and Virgil Logan Emile and Remy are the same age. Sloane and Corbin are seniors and Kai and Elliot are freshmen.

Remy has accumulated a girlfriend named Clarimonde whos a badass and we love her she's really cool actually. Her and Roman have spanish together and they are both fluent so they chat to their teachers delight

Once her and Patton saw Elliot getting bullied and she scared the living heck out of those neanderthals without punching and Patton was impressed

Everyone likes her- so Emilie tells himself he has no reason to dislike her because he doesn't have feelings for Remy anymore. No sir.

Now it isn't difficult for Remy and Emile to pass each other in the halls. When Clarimonde chats with Roman, Emile can make small talk Remy without dying inside, but he's slightly more quiet.

Remy still doesn't understand the pang he gets in his chest whenever someone mentions cartoons.

Clarimonde starts to pay attention the Emile because “hey he seems like a sweetheart! how did you meet him Rem?”

Remy tells her that they were close in middle school and left it at that. She stayed suspicious but dropped it after two days.

As I mentioned before, Emilie is a total mom friend even to the seniors and juniors. He notices Logan perk up whent Patton makes a dad joke or laughs. He notices Patton stare a bit too much at Logan's subtle freckles or his electric blue eyes as he rants about biology and chemistry.

He notices Roman and Virgil warm up to each other finally (they didn’t get along much. Romans a bit of an airhead and said some not nice things to Virgil in middle school)

They find out they actually have common interests! They talk about music and writing amd smile because someone finally understands!!! Wow!!!

Emilie promises himself he's going to try to help his friends be happy together. because he feels a bit better when he sees his friends happy in love. And in good mental health (which leads into his counseling career!!! Wohooo!!!)

AND NOW- INTRODUCINGGGGG *drum roll* MR THOMAS SANDERS *confetti cannon* and his assistants Joan and Talyn who are lit college students trying to get degrees in the arts. they need to community service so (plus they love Thomas and the kids like aww their babies)

Thomas is the theater teacher/director of the arts department. Roman took all the theater classes available because he’s an extra boi. so he hung out in Mr Sanders class and soon it became the hangout spot for the gang!

Emile saw Roman and Patton in the school play last year. Most of the cast were seniors and now all the thespians are gone and nobody wants to do the shows and take the classes (minus the loot of kids who need their arts requirement to graduate) and it's a PROBLEM

Remy takes Mr Sanders drama class for the arts requirement in order to graduate! But he has a D… Honestly he thought the class would be easier than ceramics because he could just doze off as Thomas rambled about shakespeare but NOPE they have to do pair scenes and monologues and Remy IS NOT HAVING IT LET ME TELL YAH

He thinks acting is stupid (ironic because his personality at school is mostly to mask his pain so TEA) and that there's no point in trying.

this attitude carries over to a lot of his other classes because it's not like his family can afford sending him off to college anyways and it's not like he's smart or worth teaching anyways right?

And Thomas notices Remy walk home alone and take off his shades and stare at the sky a bit longer than usual. Thomas sees Remy's smile fade as people talk about their parents and siblings and he sees Remy's grades slip.

Thomas pulls Remy says something like “Sup Mr Sanders. Did somebody fail their test because they spent the class period staring at me instead of their answer sheet?” And Thomas would usually laugh at this but he's stern

“I'm going to give it to you straight. You're failing almost all your classes and i've talked to your teachers and they know you have potential but you don't try. I don't understand why, but i'm sure you have your reasons but i just wanted to tell you… You're enough, Remy. Just being you. Just because you dont think youll be perfect or good enough doesn't mean you have to turn you back on the world. There's people who will care if you let them in and-”

Remy begins to cry because nobody has told him that in a year and a half. And Thomas gives him tissues and pats him on the shoulder.

Remy agrees to participate in the after school show for extra credit to raise his grade. The credits will carry over to the monologue and pair scene he did poorly on and count for the history of plays unit test which he bombed.

Remy is grateful, but asks how all those assignments fit in on play if he's just gonna do tec??? Or say a shakespearean monologue and be done.

Thomas smiles and says “Well Remy, we are doing Rent- a musical. And Joan and Talyn handle the tec stuff just fine.”

AND BOOM THEY'RE DOING RENT NOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ACKKKKKKKKK SO THEY AUDITION! THE GANG AND REMY AND CLARIMONDE AND TOBY AND ITS WONDERFUL

Patton convinces Logan to do the show (puppy dog eyes owo) and it's all set. Clarimonde joins because why not. Emilie was hesitant at first- but Dot and Larry told him it would be a good way to break out of his shell because Emilie is a bit awkward around people he doesn’t know well…

Auditions go good! Virgil, Roman, Elliot, and Emilie are the best singers while Clarimonde,Remy, Logan, and Patton are dorky/sassy/and confident actors.

Thomas had them all sing Seasons Of Love and then he just puts them in scenes with each other as characters he wanted to see them as! After the first round he moved people around accordingly. It’s an unorthodox way of doing things but it’s such a smol group it wasn’t a hassle to do.

Remy and Emile weren’t really considered for any of the leads because Thomas wasn’t sure of their acting ability… so just to give them something to do, he had them do dialogue when Angel and Collins first meet! Remy is Angel and Emile is Collins cause why not!

For those of you who don’t know much about Rent, basically what happens in that scene is that Collins gets mugged and beat up and he’s bleeding in an alleyway and then Angel finds him and they talk a bit.

Of course it was awkward at first because why wouldn’t it be… but Remy said “You know Em, this is just a giant case of Deja Vu… remember when I found you in the field after you gots scraped up from climbing up that tree? Your glasses were broken and everythin’. And you wanted to act all tough but you were crying and I didn’t know what to do-“ and Emile laughed because yes, he remembers. They got ice cream after and it was one of the best days of his childhood.

And it gets better from there. And it’s like they get to meet again for the first time- but Emile is the broken one and Remy is lending a hand. They have really good chemistry and the scene is actually really genuine!

They do the scene for Thomas and he’s intrigued! He writes notes with a small smile on his face.

But the spell is broken after that for a while...

but when the cast list is posted there's some issues cause uhm

Mimi is Roman- Rodger is Virgil

Mark is Patton, and Benny is Logan

Joanne is Elliot and Maureen is Clarimonde!

BUT THE TEA IS THE CASTING CHOICE OF EMILIE PLAYING COLLINS AND REMY PLAYING ANGEL!!! Romans a little salty because he wanted to be a cool drag queen who played drums but he got over it.

BUT SWEET REMY DIDN'T GOOGLE THE SYNOPSIS BEFORE HE AUDITIONED! BUT WHEN HE DID HE THE NIGHT AFTER, HE REALIZED HE DIGS ANGEL LIKE HELL YEAH HE’LL DO THAT SHIT IN A HEARTBEAT BUT EMILIE IS HIS BOYFRIEND?????

Same issue for Roman and Virgil because I have to be in love with my crush/ex enemy? Oh nooooooooooo.

The whole situation is wild and I love it.

But yeah that’s how the fake dating and stage kids element come into play if you were here from the VERY VERY beginning when I was bored out of my mind and made some weird prompts for people to choose.

BUT YEAH ROMAN AND EMILE ARE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE.OLD FEELINGS ARE RESURFACING AND THEY ARE TEMPTED TO MARCH UP TO THOMAS AND DEMAND HE EXPLAIN WHY HE DID THIS BUT THEY DON'T AND POOR PATTON HAS TO CALM TWO ANXIOUS BOYS AND VIRGIL IS HAPPY BECAUSE HE WANTED RODGER BUT LIKE NOW SHITS GETTING GAY AND HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HIS CRUSH ON ROMAN IS GONNA START GETTING OBVIOUS OR NOT AND LOGAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO

Patton and Logan start to talk even more to help their bffs Roman and Virgil get their shit together and then Patton and Logan start to get close in the process and it's amazing.

But rehearsal happens and Emile and Remy are really awkward at first. And Emilie wants to slap Remy because weren’t they They don't talk about the abrupt and unexplained ending of their friendship and Emile doesn't explain how Remy broke his heart. But the eyes are the window to the soul and they both know there's words that need to be said that aren't being said…

But communication? In my christian household? Neverrrrrrrrrr

So it continues. And life goes on.

Virgil and Roman start dating because when Virgil was over at Romans house “rehearsing lines”, Roman got a bit too close when he sang “oh won't you light my candle~” and whoops know they're making out

Oh well life happens i guess

But back to Remile. It's about 2 weeks into rehearsal and they're starting blocking of Act 1 and it's going as one expects. Smooth and Rocky and back and forth and SLOW.

Most people are fitting into their roles pretty normally except for two people- you can guess who.

For the life of them, Remy and Emile can't get it together. Remy can dance and sing like nobody's business and he's been practicing in heels and it literally is giving Emilie a heart attack cause HOT DAMN IM GAY AS FUCK BUT I GOTTA KEEP IT TOGETHER REEEEE

But the second Remy makes eye contact with Emile he drops character. Emile is chill and fun like Collins. His scenes with Patton and Virgil? Gold. The second Angel comes on stage he gets more tense.

And Thomas doesnt say anything because its not the end of the first month but he notes it.

Emile is obviously upset. It’s kinda draining him being dragged around emotionally by Remy and Patton Roman and Dot and Larry are starting to get worried… it’s like the mental state he had in the summer is coming back and he’s closing himself off.

Clarimonde notices these things too because she’s not stupid… she asks Roman about it during Spanish. He says it isn’t his place because he knows Emilie's Side of the story- but not Remy's. and he doesn’t want to say anything he isn’t supposed to.

His answer gives Clarimonde all the clarification she needs because obviously Roman knows something big and it has to be that Emilie had feelings for Remy at some point and Remy cut their friendship and broke his heart.

But she doesn’t know what to do so she keeps her relationship with Remy because it’s not like he likes Emilie back. Right?

But deep down she knows he’s just scared of commitment because he never wants to go to her house and meet her parents. She barely knows anything about Remy's family or hopes and dreams. But what can she do but wait for him to open up? But he never does. And it nags at her.

I realize that I haven’t really talked to much about Remy… So here we go.

It’s complicated. Remy got scared. Of trusting one person so much that it could hurt him. Divorces can jack kids up especially if they go down ugly like it did for Remy's parents. He didn’t really believe in love. He didn’t believe in trust that didn’t come without a price.

But he forgot those worries when he was with Emile years before. He felt loved and cared for and he felt he could be himself.

But over the summer when Emile and Remy stopped hanging out… it’s because things got worse. Remy's mom started to blame the divorce on him. She said her father left because she couldn’t handle Remy and his lil brother Ethan who screamed and cried all the time. She started to go out for long points of time and come home with bloodshot eyes. She would scream at tell Remy that love never lasted and he needed to grow up and stop crying cause his dad never called.

And Remy was beside himself.Because seeing Emile just reminded him of all the stuff he couldn’t have. The carefree normal life he would never have.

So Remy threw up his walls and stopped talking to Emile. He shoved down his guilt and left him alone because Remy felt he didn’t need Emile or his warm light.

Remy wanted to grow up so he wouldn’t feel this pain and yearning for a childhood he’d never receive.

And that’s why he and Emile stopped being friends. That’s why Remy is fake.

Remy can’t pinpoint when it happened… but

as Angel he can be confident but it doesn’t feel like an act. He can dance around with a purpose. And when he sings his duet with Emile for the first time, and they hold hands, he feels a bit like the kid he was in elementary school again.

And he becomes thankful Thomas gave him the chance to do this show because it’s showing off. He’s coming out of his shell. And Emilie notices it and smiles more.

Because Emile feels happy when Remy can talk to him and not look like his walking on crackling ice.

Emile had time to mature and heal while Remy was out of his life but now he feels secure because he doesn’t have to be attached to his romantic feelings and they can just be friends. They do their scenes and it’s great. Remy can hold his hand on stage and dance and Emilie is accomplished because Remy looks so… free. Not holding anything back. Not being fake. He’s being his authentic self through Angel and he finds that beautiful.

Thomas smiles when the duo are onstage and realizes he made the right casting choice.

But one day Remy and Clarimonde walked out hand and hand after practice as Emilie waited for his parents to pick him up. Remy was smiling but then Remy was kissing her and there were hands and hair and Emile felt like he was on fire and ran. Because he can't handle this.

Remy has to pretend to be in love with him and it's going to destroy Emilie because ITS NOT REAL.

Clarimonde opens her eye for a split second and damn. She knows. She sees Emile run.

A part of her feels sad, because she has feelings for Remy, but she feels like she’s in the way of Emile and Remy. So she lets go. She breaks up with him because shes “not feeling the relationship anymore”, but she still wants to be friends. And yeah, Clarimonde hurts- but she smiles through it and knows its for the best. Even if it ain’t fair.

And Emile is calling Patton crying, curled up in a ball, wanting to rip his heart out. He can’t take it anymore and says so over and over. It’s Friday so Dot and Larry drive him over to Patton’s. Roman comes over and brings ice cream and they watch Adventure Time but then Marceline shows up and Emile starts crying because REMY BAGAHAHAHAS sO they switch to avatar.

And they all cuddle and are buried under tons of blankets and it’s great.

Roman offers to punch Remy and Patton whacks him upside the head. It’s funny.

And Emile still feels like crap but at least he knows he has good friends. He isn’t alone this time.

Taglist:

@mmd-ask-italy

@thestrangedino

@dreams-palette

@unring-this-bell

@nerdqueenkat

@iloveeverytjing123

@superwholocked-for-life

@ab-artist

@spaceless-void

@sevencrashing

@i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing

@absolutesandersidestrash

@geronimo-scamander-spd

@romansleftshoulderpad

@prplzorua

@patchworkofstars

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