#this got soooooo long again im so sorry

[leonbastralle]

another year, another gaming recap! once again it will be 2 posts but less games kdjshkjfshkjdf

a winding path: starting the year with a bang! in this game you are just a little stick figure in a land that has been struggling through a massive draught. you think you can't do anything about it? with the power of music and friendship, you can! this game is very short but cheap and made with a lot of love, everything is hand-drawn with pencil, the characters and the story/setting are cool and interesting. the main mechanic and the rare puzzle are rly fun! i loved this game. also esmond is the mvp.

astrologaster: another fun one that enacts the life of a real.....fake.... doctor. there are some period typical horros and the main character as well as some of his patients are kind of shitty people but it's really funny, especially when it comes to the dialogue, and the concept and style of the game are really cool (it's set up like a play with a backdrop and puppets, and there is a song for each character too). i wasn't a big fan of the main mechanic as it's very guessy which makes it hard when you want to actually finish all the storylines, but it also makes sense in context

my time at sandrock: this was one of my absolute favorites of this year. i already really enjoyed the story and mechanics of portia and this game improved on that. i loved the factory/crafting mechanics with new added challenges due to the setting, the combat, characters and story lines are all really good. however the level curve was terrible and the favoritism when it comes to some characters truly bothered me, especially since they made so many characters/love interests just to leave most of them on the sidelines when it comes to quests/development. also why the fuck are we still straightwashing so hard sdfkjhskfdskj let characters be canonically queer beyond the player romance

botany manor: another short and sweet one (and honestly kind of overpriced for that reason), definitely best gotten on sale. in this game you are a botanist trying to figure out how to grow certain rare plants for your book. the puzzles and hint system were very immersive to me and the lore around the plants was really cool. i had a really lovely time with it, and it helps that the surroundings are really really pretty. warning for period typical misogyny though.

islets: baby's first metroidvania in which you have to restore the world out of its broken parts. the art style of this is very cute and the characters are lovable. i had a lot of difficulty with the platforming/abilities/combat when it comes to timing and coordination, but there's a bunch of rly good accessibility options to help with that. they took the stress out of it for me and helped me rly enjoy it! i'm excited to try the spiritual successor (crypt custodian) soon.

tiny detour: i have to admit i fucked up with this purchase. it sounded and looked really cute, and the concept really is cute. but it feels like no effort was put into it at all. i understand that it must have been a fun little project for a single dev, but i would have at least enjoyed a more elaborate story and characters that have a personality (even though there is like five of them who all look the same so that didn't help i guess). at least it's very cheap, but it still kind of felt like a waste to me.

a little to the left: a very pretty sorting game that had its satisfying moments to me, i liked the hint/skip system. however there were issues with the accessibility to me and sometimes it was quite frustrating as you couldn't really figure out what the fuck the game wanted from you (levels where you have to arrange pretty things in a random pattern on the screen i'm looking at you). also did not enjoy at all that the whole game was just constantly advertising the dlc. what in the greed skjfhksdjfhsd

stardew valley: this was in the last review too but i wanted to include it again since after 1.6 i finally stuck with a farm all the way to year 3, finished the community center and ginger island, checked out a lot of the new content, and worked towards completing a whole bunch of collections! so this was a reformed experience to me, even though i do have to say that i need the visual mods to stomach the game, the content itself is timeless and fun.

paradise killer: not my first time playing this one but i played it for my wife earlier this year and was happy to have a reason to talk about this. i love dystopian vaporwave murder mystery island. i love all the wacky ass lore and the assortment of morally more than grey characters. i love how the entire experience feels like a trip on some drug that is unknown to me. the music is banging. the dialogue is great. you are a corrupt detective lady with thick thighs. you can fuck a goat woman. capitalism is horrible. this game is everything to me

potion craft: oh boy did i have a terrible time with this one. i gave up on it because it was unfinished and extremely grindy to the point that your potion business is not sustainable (there's no easy way to keep a good stock of items but you need them to make potions to sell, but you also need them for your own ventures, however you need to keep making big money to support repurchasing ingredients for both). this is because it was released as 1.0 despite missing a bunch of big updates. ever since i quit one such update has hit (after a year or so of no sign of life from the devs) but i will not be touching it again until it's officially complete.

paper trail: running away from your overbearing parents to go to university simulator. the puzzle mechanic (folding the edges of the piece of map you are standing on to create new paths) was a new one for me and i thought it was a really interesting way to handle it. it did not get boring to me (a common complaint of reviewers) since every new level adds challenges to it. i was really impressed by the design, a lot of thought must have gone into designing a front and back for every area that leaves you with several ways of folding it. i liked that there was a hint system, though sometimes it wasn't helpful, and that you collect origami. the art style and music are lovely, the characters all make funny noises and the story is nice, though not very deep. the epilogue made me cry skjhfskjdfsd

cat cafe manager: my first steam deck game! i played this one on my wife's deck when i was with her so i have special memories of it. the characters and story in this game are quite shallow but the game is cute and does what it advertises, i loved all the cats you can get and the way the upgrade and friendship system works (especially the friendship furniture you unlock at max relationship that adds a lot of new group events which was my favorite part about the characters!). the story is. just there. it really isn't needed at all, don't expect much from it. but it's a fun little management game. and it has cats.

[soranker]

hi….! any chance we can see your art process ? it’s fine if not! i was wondering if u do a sketch before your lines or you just skip directly to lineart? your art is very beautiful!

HI!!! AUGGHHHJHH THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH T__T my art style is kinda simple imo so my process is pretty bare-bones ^^;; there's not rly much too it!! it also kinda changes depending on how uhhhh lazy im feeling in the moment HAHA

probably around half of my drawings are straight to line art bc they're rly just doodles or things i decide to draw without any planning (but also im kinda impatient so i try to skip the sketching step if i can LOL...). but if i DO have a specific pose in mind for a drawing, i'll start with a sort of mannequin sketch or loose pass, then depending on how messy it is, ill either do the lineart pass on the layer on top or duplicate the sketch and then clean it up.

and then my coloring process is not sophisticated at all i just create a new layer and then paint bucket tool away LMAOOOO

here's an example of a drawing where i did sketch first ^_^

[indulgentdaydream]

Hello luv, first of all... I LOVE NURSE!READER!!! OH god the last lines were soooooo heartwarming for my social worker heart!! LOVE LOVE IT 🩷🩷

So, may I request a Jason x reader again but with a little something... Jealous Jason because reader and Roy know each other longer than Jay and reader and then he gets all jelly and and—! Oh god I love a jealous petty man.

Missy when she fucks up the queue and queues this post for NEXT YEAR by accident 🫣🙃 NEXT YEAR?? LIKE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LAST FRIDAY AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT IT DIDN'T GO UP

anyways AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH your words are already heartwarming ♥️

I loveeee jealous jason imma cook this up so quick just you wait and see (i wrote this when i first made the draft and i found it funny to leave it. It’s literally been a month I’m so sorry)

I also made this into headcanons because I had a VISION and did not think to give it any justice. (koi youre seriously my number 1 supporter i hope you enjoy this garbage I just threw up, really)

Pining!Jealous!Jason Todd x Reader

Warnings: slight jealousy (not too overly consuming), alcohol consumption

Roy had invited Jason to hang out at the bar

Bros being bros

except...

Roy brought you along (because he KNOWS Jason has got a fat crush on you whether or not he’s told him)

(He tried to convince roy it’s not a crush, but always fails because his whole demeanour changes when you walk in the room)

examples:

he's always going to be standing beside you, consciously or not

jason isn't always a tense guy. But he for sure isn't as long as you're talking to him/looking at him/etc. (but if you put your hand on his arm/touch him in any way, it's game over)

your name is brought up, he's listening SO INTENTLY

like a dog when it hears its favourite word

Anyways

The three of you are sitting in a booth

It was originally you and roy before jason showed up, the two of you on either side

Jason shows up and just sits right next to you. No hesitation.

You and roy are laughing away, recounting stories and telling jokes.

Jason is just... really quiet

unusually quiet

He doesn’t look at you guys, rather looking out across the bar, trying to hide the fact he’s feeling this way

That he's feeling unreasonably jealous of his best friend

who literally brought you FOR JASON

He knows it’s stupid. He trusts both of you. You two are the two people he trusts the MOST

He hates that he’s like this, but he can't help it

Roy's better than him. You've known him for longer. He's making you laugh harder than Jason ever has. He's better looking, too. Older. More experienced.

His thoughts are clogging up his head. He's really not listening anymore, just holding his beer, eyes scanning the bar floor, watching the other patrons.

Then Roy is standing in front of him, saying something about using the bathroom.

He is giving a VERY pointed look at Jason.

a "make conversation with your crush or I'm shoving an arrow down your throat" kind of look

Jason felt a little stab of genuine anxiety shoot through him.

He's talked to you alone before. Many times. You two were friends, of course. He doesn't know why this is how he's feeling right now.

Then your hand is resting on his forearm.

Poor boy is still so caught up in his head he just looks down at your hand for definitely a second too long before finally meeting your gaze

Your gaze with those stupidly pretty eyes.

Then comes that horrendously pretty voice, "You alright?"

He nods. Shrugs. Like a stupid teenager who doesn't know how to handle his emotions.

He has to admit he's still a little tense about your attention being focused more on Roy. But not to you. He'd never admit it to you. You'd probably find it unattractive and then he'd really never have a chance.

“Yeah, no, im enjoying the talking. Always forget how well you and roy know each other”

“Oh yeah he just knows how to get me going. You know how he is”

Jason doesn’t know how he does it.

Like some leap of faith.

Some, jealousy super-powered leap.

He tries to be non-chalant about it.

“It’d be nice to do this again sometime. Maybe without Roy around.”

BOY'S HEART IS POUNDING

Sipping on his beer, looking down at it instead to avoid eye contact with you so he doesn't lose his cool.

Or someone show on his face that he is actually shitting bricks

You don't respond for a second and the alarm bells start going off in his head

WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY-

"It would be nice," you say, "Could we make it a date instead?"

He's smiling, turning to nod at you, "Course we can."

But his internal dialogue is just straight screaming at himself

"IDIOT YOU SHOULD'VE MADE IT OBVIOUS YOU WANTED IT TO BE A DATE IN THE FIRST PLACE"

The things jealousy will make you do

Roy comes back and sits down

Jason's into the conversation now

It doesn't really matter that Roy is still making you laugh

because he's not the one holding your hand under the table

AH I HOPE YOU LIKE -missy

I also love a jealous petty man (as long as it doesn't become toxic and he doesn't use it as an excuse to be an asshole)

[shidouryusm]

Soooooo sami 👉👈 since we are both Hawks girlies we are in agreement that he has the most sensitive wings right? The kind that would quiver and tremble when he cums and if you touch them at any point he's just instantly hard... and if you grip them whilst jerking him off his hips will buck off the bed and he whines. Right???? 🫣

im so sorry it took me this long to finish it. i promise i intended to make them fuck but I got carried away into the plot iiufbiufhwjf. but you ask and i serve baby.

Hawks may be the one with wings but it was you who made him fly

Hawks x f!reader

synopsis: keigo arrives from a hellish day at work. as his sweet little girlfriend you find a way to relieve him

minors DNI. 18+ content.

word count: 2.4k (it was supposed to be a drabble...sigh)

content: hero au, established relationship, female anatomy!reader, switch!hawks,a little subby hawks but he switches at the end, handjobs, blowjobs, implied penetrative sex at the end, teasing, a bit of edging, titplay, playing with balls, cumeating, idk lmk what i missed.

a.n- well this was nasty and fun to write. this is my first time writing about him so do let me know how do you like it. not proofread well im v tired its 3 am :((

6:07 pm. The tokyo skyline has painted itself in the inkish blue, the little canvas of twilight already dwindling away while you stand in the middle of the balcony taking it all. you look up into the horizon, eyes hoping to catch a speck of red and yellow to appear that will sweep you out of your waiting game. 

Keigo was supposed to arrive atleast 40 mins prior, considering he gets off of duty today relatively earlier than other days. Promising an evening reserved to enjoy the pacificity of being with you – away from the worldly issues. 

He usually glides through the air, slowly landing on this very balcony, pressing a fleeting kiss on your lips even before his feet touches the ground and stumbles you both inside the house. According to him – it keeps things interesting. whatever he meant. you chuckle lightly thinking about that. 

Your trance of thoughts almost missed out the door knob turning and instead of the grandeur entrance of your boyfriend like some flying peter parker he is, you watch him sluggishly drag his body in. 

“to what do I owe such anticlimatic entrance, darling?”, you ask amusedly, walking inside the house to greet him which soon diffuses as you realise the dark shadows under his eyes and his face worn out by a hundred years. he looks beat up. 

“baby?…”, you voice in worry.

Keigo looks at you, watching him with a hint of concern playing in your eyes. you look so cute like that, he thinks. eyebrows squinted together, head slightly tilted and lips jutted together in confusion on why he’s staring at you like that. your skin looking soft and as tempting to get a feel of, decorated with a purple satin loungewear. 

Keigo takes a step forward, closing the distance. your hands reach his face, stroking from the little stubble in his chin to the swell of his cheek. he melts in your touch, his hands finding your waist and pulling you against his body. Keigo hides his face in your neck, his breath comes out in short huffs, tickling you in the crevice between your shoulder and head. 

“It’s been heck of a day”, he mumbles. pity courses through you when you hear his strained voice. You comb through his slightly unruly locks, scratching the base of his scalp while he holds you flush against his body , letting a hum right against your skin.

“awe..made you work a little too hard, baby?” you coo. One hand still raking through his hair while the other snakes around his waist, going upwards till it brushes against the base of his red, bright feathers.

The feel of your hands against his feathers jolts keigo up, a small grunt leaving his lips, still pressed against your neck. your fingers trail over his back, ghosting over his feathers before you carress them again. 

This time,a small, breathy moan escapes from keigo. his hands on your lower back pulls you in— as if you’re not already just a layer away from being inside his skin. 

You smirk, his reactions turning the cogs in your mind to play with him a bit.

“are you sensitive there, keigo?” you asked amusedly, your finger circling the base, right where his feathers sprout out. his face is hidden against your neck but you could still make out the hint of redness that spreads over the nape. 

Keigo pushes himself against you, the movement causing you to feel his clothed bulge rub against your naked thigh, you let out a soft sigh. you could make out the hardness of his cock even with the clothing.

His dick strains against you and what a good girlfriend like you would do in this situation—of course help him out in his little issue.

You pull him off of you, his eyes are drooping. you press a quick kiss on his lips before looping your arms around his neck. 

You feel his eyes glide downwards, taking in your figure. A flimsy tank top hugs your upper body in the most alluring way possible, your nipples hardened and poking out of the fabric like two peaks, making Keigo’s cock jump in his pants. The matching shorts rides up your thighs, exposing the full expanse of the plush skin under his golden eyes. you look so comfortable…and delectable. 

“should I help you out a little? you look like you could use some” you say, a little giggle passing through your lips. his eyes are still glued on your body and you take this opportunity to slightly tug the base of his feathers, bringing his attention back to you. Keigo hisses at the sensation, his face morphing into a temporary state of pleasure whenever your fingers come in contact with his supple feathers.

“Mhmmmm”, you hear him hum before his lips clash against yours. You stand there, in the middle of your hallway as keigo makes out with you, his lips languidly playing the push or pull with your lips. 

His hand reach down the back of your thigh and he hooks your whole leg around his waist, the position allowing him to rub his cock directly against your core. You moan into the kiss. Wanting more. But most importantly, making him feel wanted even more.

You push him towards the bedroom, both of your linked bodies stumbling under the low lights of the hallway till you reach there.

His body is manhandled onto the mattress, your figure hovering over his, as you keep on planting kisses all over his face, reaching his jaw. your mouth tilts against his while your tongue presses flat on his skin, savouring his taste. Keigo grabs your hips, needing something to ground himself from the sudden dominance you’re showing – not that he’s complaining at all.

“fuck baby…you’re so hot like that”, his voice raspy and laced with yearn. You hum against his jawline, your hands tugging on the tight compression shirt he has, wanting them off his body. 

He obliges. Your eyes drink the way his muscles taut while he pulls the fabric off himself and tosses it somewhere you could care any less about. Your hands lay against his pecks, as your mouth finds his once again. Keigo deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue inside the cavern of your mouth, a dribble of spit escaping from your shared mouth down your chin.

Your hands reaches towards his feathers and your hands softly massages the ends of it, making keigo moan in your mouth. 

“fuck…this will make me-” keigo squirms a little,  his mouth dancing more fiercely with yours. his hands squeezes your ass, making your clothed core grind in circular motions over his crotch, multiplying the sensation by tenfolds in Keigo's and your body.

“Cum? just by playing with your feathers? didn’t know you were that sensitive keigo.” you tug the ruffled plumage and Keigo almost bust a nut. his head falls backwards from the treatment and his hips inadvertently buck against your core. Your pussy lips are planted right over his dick and the way he thrusts himself upwards makes you pulsate. 

You look at him majestically submitting to you, so bare and vulnerable. It stirs a different feeling inside you. 

Top.2 hero for the world yet so weak in the knees for you. Wings so fierce yet so tamed under your touch.

“d-don’t get too ahead, you’ll regret it, darling” you hear keigo warn in between the kisses, his voice still broken and hoarse. 

“oh really? sure.” you use both your hands in work. one tugs the feathers, a little rougher than previous times, while the other hand palms his cock, rubbing the palm of your hand against the head of his cock. Keigo moans unashamedly, having his sensitive feathers played like that.

 “doesn’t look like it though” his little moans vibrates against your skin

That’s what you love about keigo. He may act tough and smug but will not be slightest bit of ashamed to vocalise his feelings during sex. Starting from little grunts to lewd moans – he drawls all of them. The little shake in his voice makes your pussy throb painfully, wanting nothing more than to sink yourself in him and drown yourself in pleasure while holding him tightly within. 

Your hands trail upwards towards the belt of his pants, peeling them out of his skin. His cock is swollen, the veins roped around the shaft popping angrily, hard as it sprung up, slamming against his stomach. The sight already enough for you to gush your arousal on his lap. 

you wrap your hands around his base, feeling his cock twitch upon the feel of your skin. Keigo tenses with the touch, exhaling audible breaths. His hands reach your shoulders, dropping the strap of the thin tank top. 

He could see your tits slightly jiggle from the movements and his mouth wanted nothing more than to wrap itself around your pert buds. 

You move your hands in rhythm – twisting and squeezing your hand in a way that he absolutely loves. A move that always gets him off. Your hands reaches the top of his shaft, his tip is angled beautifully, pre-cum falling of the slit endlessly. You run your thumb against the skin, pressing into the little slit. 

Keigo hisses again, his hands reflexively grabs your hair and tugs it. 

“F-fuck, don’t…”

you smirk at his reaction, smearing the pre-cum around the cockhead, reaching down the frenulum. while your hands work its wonders, his deft ones tugs your tank top down, releasing your tits from the confines. He kneads the soft mounds…pinching and rolling the nipples with his thick fingers.

The whole scene is lewd and pornographic – both of your hands working against each other to pleasure. Yours on his cock, stroking up and down in a steady rythm, occasionally squeezing the tip while his finds your tits to massage and jiggle it under his palm. Straight out of a sex tape.

You fondle his balls. It feels hot and heavy on your hands while you massage them. his muscle tenses, fighting every nerve to not spill his release yet. Stretching the seconds to imprint the feel of your hands. He reaches your shorts, his hands glides under them and reaching your cunt. 

“You’re so wet, baby. Seeing me like this gets you off?” he uses two of his fingers to separate the lips, his middle finger stroking the slit of your pussy all the way to the bundled nerve. he flicks it with one hand, earning a whimper from you. Keigo might get tamed under you momentarily but he still has the power to keep you on your toes as well.

His hands on you feels like heaven but you had a mission to accomplish. You get off his lap, kneeling right in front of him. Resting your hands on his thighs, you sink your mouth in his cock — sending keigo on the brink of orgasm right then and there.

“Oh shit…baby wait…” you move your mouth, your tongue kitten licks the head and moves down. His hands rest on the sides of your head while you bob un and down on his cock. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby. Look at your feathers all ruffled and disheveled. So so pretty.” 

Keigo could feel his heart hammering at your words. He always thought his love for you had reached the threshold way above the earth but you just had to prove it wrong. Looking at you gazing him with the doe eyes, your hands working deft magic to play with him on the edge of release, you were indeed the one with wings. Wings from the above. A descendent of heaven tailored specifically for him. 

“What a perfect little baby I got” he muses. You lay your tongue flat against his shaft, engulfing the whole length in your mouth, the ends of it reaching your throat. Your nose tickling with the untrimmed golden pubic hair decorating his pelvis. You tilt your mouth sideways, sucking more of him while your hands under plays with his balls. They twitch under your hands, begging for the release. You remove your mouth after licking the entirety of his length, his pre-cum smeared sheen on your lips. His wings flap and wraps around you. The sharp ends of the feather trailing the naked body of yours. 

You smirk devilishly before grabbing a handful of his feathers, tugging it from the ends, sending a trail of shock right to his spine which gushed down between his legs. 

Keigo watches you wink at him before licking your bottom lips to get a taste of his pre-cum. The sight breaking the straw that was holding him. With a final twitch, keigo cums. Strings of white rope decorates your palm while you work him through the release, occasionally licking his heavy cum from his opening. 

Keigo feels lightheaded. His body still tingling from the sensation of your hands and mouth. He looks at you giggling, your eyes crinkled with amusement and satisfaction while you lick a handful of his cum off your hand. Fucking hell. 

“do you feel better, babe?” you massage his thighs in hopes of taking care of him. He pulls you back into the bed. A quick kiss pressed against your lips — “well you did take a great care of me, I can’t deny. Certainly the best part about my day” his nose brushed against your cheek and you felt like your heart bloomed a batch of roses, specifically for him. 

“Im glad I could be of help, darling” your hand rakes his hair and you kiss his cheek. You feel his hands wrap around your waist, gilding down to the dips of your hips. 

“thank you so much baby. but…” Keigo turns you around in a split second, grabbing your hips to arch your back. Your ass hiked up in the air for him. His quick fingers tug the elastic of your shorts, peeling it off your skin, displaying your ass in full glory. 

He grabs a handful in his hands, spreading them apart to peek at your pussy lips, slick with your arousal, the gaping hole contracting. waiting for its turn to fucking bust.  

“wouldn’t it be a shame if I didn’t return the favour to you?” Keigo drags his length over the stripe of your pussy. pushing the tip inside slightly, drawing a moan from you.

It’s gonna be a long, fucking night.

a.n.2-> i just saw that he lives in a public security supply room LMAOAOAOAO more reasons for me to put him in a high rise penthouse where he fucks and lives to his heart’s content.

tagging @pastelle-rabbit because i promised her (here you go sweets), @stsgluver (my baby), if you want to be in my taglist hmu!!!

[conundrumsofphilosophy]

hi!! how do you think each merc would react if they got stuck on an elevator? maybe reader could be there too and started panicking, how would they deal with it? ^^

ANON I LOVE THIS. this is such a fun prompt im obsessed. sorry this took literally months . college is hard

scout

- he's immediately mad. kicking the wall and repeatedly pushing buttons

- ends up pacing and freaking anyone else in the elevator out

- when he starts yelling for help it's over

- if you start panicking it'll just make him panic because he doesn't know what to do to help you, he just gets louder

soldier

- slamming on the doors with his entire body weight. does NOT realize the doors will open to an elevator shaft and not a safe floor

- SCREAMING for help. he's not panicked really just very impatient. it's very un-american to get trapped in an elevator.

- if he's in there too long he'll wear himself out and sit on the floor and pout for a while. sad sad puppy dog man

- if you're freaking out he'll just yell in your face which will not help but he is yelling reassuring things. he just has zero volume control.

pyro

- definitely just saying what the hell over and over again. not yelling just muttering to themself and being mostly unintelligible

- kicks the door a little bit but doesn't get overly violent

- mostly just dismayed at the situation. will sit down and fiddle with whatever they have on them, tinker with whatever weapons anyone has. patient

- will sit there in silence with you and help you breathe deep if you're panicking. mutters kind things which you can't understand but he's trying

engineer

- pops open the panel immediately and starts fiddling with wires and trying to fix it himself. not at all worried that he might break it worse

- throws stuff if he can't get it working again. very much with the dangits and dammits and dagnabbits

- starts yelling for help but gets bored of it pretty quick and just huffs and puffs

- if you're freaked out he'll calm himself down though. he'd hate to be part of the reason you're freaking out

demo

- he doesn't even notice at first. he's just drinking and smiling.

- once he realizes it's been a loooong time in the elevator. he'll sort of just poke at some buttons, kick at the door a little bit. surprisingly nonchalant about it

- if he's drunk enough he'll start to prepare to blow the door open you gotta make him not do that. because it would most certainly not help

- if you're freaking out he'll stare at you for a while before he even says anything because he doesn't know what would help. he isn't helpful at all

heavy

- so normal about. he is chilling. if someone else has an idea that requires brute force he will contribute but won't initiate it himself he's perfectly content to just wait it out

- i like to think he brings a little paperback with him all the time and he will just sit down and read

- might even fall asleep. his snoring would make anyone else in the elevator want to die though

- probably the best person to have with you if you're freaking out he can provide anything you need. need to be grounded? bone crushing hug. need reassuring words? might be a little broken in english but he's got em.

medic

- gone into hysterics i think. especially if there are more than three people in the elevator he needs out right now

- snaps at anyone that tries to get him to help with anything he's like. sitting in the corner rocking back and forth

- he's literally completely 100% normal the second you get out it's like nothing happened

- he's not helping you if you're freaking out unless staring at you menacingly is helping

sniper

- doesn't care literally whatsoever he's used to being in enclosed spaces for hours at a time

- you better believe he's pissing in jars if he has them.

- will help with the Escape Plan if he deems it smart enough

- if you're freaking out he'll just sit there but he thinks it's helping

spy

- soooooo frustrated there are much better things he'd rather be doing than being trapped with You People

- filling the elevator with cigarette smoke much to the chagrin of everyone in it. he does not care whatsoever

- gets bored quickly and will sit and flip his knife endlessly while still chainsmoking

- if you're freaking out he'll probably just say something he thinks is kind but just makes you feel worse

[helplesslyblue77]

Snow White Lily

first story in the ‘fairy tales with a twist’ series i’ve started(because i like creating more work for myself...) 

Pairing: Step Dad!Bang Chan x Reader

Word Count: 12.6k(it got out of hand...)

Warnings: Smut, like not in full but its still there. bad parental figures, slight mommy issues, reader has some self esteem issues, also...this story has so much crying, like seriosly. 

Summary: “Years ago, your father had died and your mother had remarried. You never liked your step father, simply because he was not your real father, and you made no secret of your dislike. Many years later, your mother died and your step father became the temporary reigning monarch. You vowed the feelings you were feeling were anger, but when you fall prey to a mysterious curse you realize maybe those feelings weren't hatred after all…”

Notes: soooooo...sorry this took so long. i was originally planing to post it on the 22nd but my computer died and like a fucking moron i forgot the charger...so yeah, so sorry about that. also Reader is more than legal. i ignored the traditional marriage laws of ‘yee olden days’ in favor of not being icky. her and Chan have a age gap of about seven or eight years or so.(side note but saw the barbie movie and fucking loved it, ‘im just ken’ has been stuck in my head for days now...)

♔♕♔

Let me tell you a story dear reader. A story of love, of loss, and all that is forbidden. Let me tell you of a beautiful princess who befell a dreadful curse. Let me tell you the story of Snow White. Now you may be thinking to yourself, dear reader, “But that is ever so common. How dreadfully boring.” I beg you not to jump to such conclusions, for everything you think you know about this lovely tale is, in fact false, and the real story will only be revealed today. So I urge you to sit back and listen to my voice as I weave you a fantastical story. 

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away lived a young woman of only sixteen. She was as beautiful, as she was kind, a true princess in her own right. Her loving father, the benevolent king of the land, doted on her. Her mother, a woman of extraordinary beauty but unpleasant disposition, could not touch her as long as the king treasured her. And thus the princess was raised with love from her father and cold indifference from her mother. Each day she became more beautiful. 

Her hair grew long and luscious, her eyes bright with knowledge, and her body grew curves as she matured. As she grew, her thirst for knowledge also grew. Much to the queen's disapproval the king allowed her to take up such thoroughly un-princess-like activities as horseback riding. The queen disproved, but to her satisfaction, the princess also enjoyed activities like embroidery and fashion, so the queen let her wild activities continue. But alas, as our princess turned upon her seventeenth year, her father the king fell deathly ill. Our heroine could only stand by and weep as her beloved father took his last breaths, as the spirits accepted him gracefully into the world of the dead.

Ragged sobs tore through your throat. Your father's hand lay on your own, still warm even though life had drained from his body only moments before. The soft silk of the king's grand bed accepted your tears wholeheartedly, soothing your wet cheeks and stinging eyes. The bed held so many memories for you. Memories of you curled up against your father's warm body as he told you story after story, all in an effort to lure you into a deep and peaceful sleep. Memories of crying in his arms as he stroked your hair and comforted you with sweet reassurances. The realization sank in that he would never embrace or gaze upon you again. 

It took a long time for your tears to stop. The palace staff let you stay at the bed, even as your father's cold dead body was removed from the silken sheets, and life in the palace resumed. Only when the golden hour sunlight poured through the stained glass windows, painting the red silk sheets and the golden bed frame dazzling colors, did you lift your tearstained face from the bed and drag yourself to your feet. You stumbled out of the king's chambers, your bare feet making barely a sound as you walked listlessly down the large corridor with the heavy stares of your ancestors weighing on your back. Your hair hung unstyled around your shoulders, your cheeks were smeared with tears and your eyes red and puffy. You were clothed only in a thin nightgown and normally you would have been scandalized. It was highly improper for a princess to wander about in her underclothes, but you were so wrought with grief you could not even bring yourself to feel shame. 

Your maids were waiting for you as you dragged open the heavy doors to your chambers. You felt their pitying stares on you but for once they didn't say a word about your disheveled state, only drawing you a bath and slipping away as silent as ghosts.

With heavy hands, you rid yourself of your only garment and slipped into the water. The pink rose petals danced across the ripples your body made as you submerged yourself completely. You closed your eyes and felt the heavy hand of despair settle over you. Tear after silent tear slipped down your cheeks, dripping into the water below. Maybe, if you continued to cry like this the gods would take pity on your sorry state and let you simply slip away, let go of this painful life and join your father in the afterlife. Such thoughts were unbecoming of a princess, but you had never been a perfect princess anyway. Too unattractive, too outspoken, nothing like your composed mother, the epitome of a perfect queen. As beautiful as a statue carved in ice and as cold as one as well. 

You knew these thoughts, these ugly self-deprecating thoughts, were not true. But with your father's passing all your insecurities were rearing their ugly heads quite akin to a many-headed monster, dead set on devouring you and only you. You closed your eyes and ever so slowly let yourself sink down until your chin was barely brushing the water. You let the comfort of the water envelope you like the warmth your father had given you, the warmth your mother would never give you. And with one last tear, you rose from the bath, water cascading off your body, and came to a grim realization.

From this day on, you were on your own. And even as the room filled with people, your maids dressing you carefully, even as the mellow chatter filled the room, you had never felt quite so alone. 

The next day your maids prepared you for the funeral. As they slipped the black dress over your head, pulled your hair into a modest bun and painted your face just enough to be suitable for such an occasion you desperately held back your tears. It was no such time for your sadness, you are a princess and to reassure your people you must look only appropriately distraught. There would be no breakdowns, no hysterical crying and screaming, none of the sort. As the maids slipped your black veil over your head and handed you the black lace fan, you take a deep breath, and shove your feelings into a deep well, one covered in moss and ivy, simply for another day. 

A sea of black greets you as you exit the castle, the air filled with the cries of thousands. The day is gray as if even mother nature is distraught. Gaunt faces torn with sadness, the silent tears of men and women, the loud cries of children who are too young to understand but sense the forlorn atmosphere and respond. You take your place on the open carriage, your father's casket laying only a few feet away from you. The casket is grand, black with gold embellishments, but you can't bring yourself to look at it. It makes it all too real. Your mother steps into the carriage, her beautiful face pulled into its usual frozen expression. Her cold gaze drags over you, and you ignore her as she tuts disapprovingly but says no more. Even she can hold her tongue when she needs to. 

The carriage starts its long trek to the royal cemetery, and you feel every rock as it bumps slowly across the road. You watch faces flash by, each hollow with a sadness you feel in your core. The ride to the cemetery is excruciating, as the sky starts to rain, big droplets that splash against the casket, and down your face. You're thankful, as it masks your tears.

The ceremony is grim, and mostly a blur. You watch as a little girl comes forward, and with small hands gently places a single white lily on the casket. More children follow, and soon the dark top of the casket was blanketed in white. Your tears are falling more frequently now, your hat and veil long gone. But these tears, instead of being pure despair, are also interspersed with gratitude. Gratitude for your kind maids, who treated you with such gentle warmth, gratitude for the looks of kindness and understanding you received from your subjects. As you finally leave the cemetery you turn back, laying eyes one final time on the grim black coffin covered in pure white lilies. Your father's favorite flowers were lilies. 

The following weeks are a blur. The world seems to continue even as you morn, and you do your best to continue along with it. Your deep loneliness is pushed to the back of your mind and you soon begin to forget it. Months pass, and soon, your eighteenth birthday approaches. You find yourself engaged to a truly dreadful man, but per your mother's request, you are unable to do a thing about it. And then one day, your life changes forever. 

The royal dining room is large, with high arching ceilings letting a draft permeate through the space. A huge crystal chandelier hangs in the center of the room, filling the large space with shadowy candlelight. Of all of the many rooms in the palace, this one has become one of your least favorites.

The large marble table is laden with food, untouched at the moment and the servants bustle around, serving wine and tidying various lighting fixtures around the room. Your mother, the star of the show, is late. You bristle, as she can't even show courtesy as the host of this sham of a party. Your mother has never been your favorite person, and as long as you have known her, those cold eyes, so dead of feeling, have always scared you.

The large doors slammed open and in waltzed your mother, her head held high. Your eyes narrow as you take in the full picture, the man escorting her to her place. He looks young, maybe eight or nine years your senior, and very handsome. With dark black hair and broad shoulders, he supported your mother as she walked across the room, pulling out the chair for her like a gentleman. Twinkling brown eyes and a sweet smile. Just your mother's type. Anger sang in your veins. How dare she bring in a cheap boy toy so soon after your father's passing. The man tried to send you a smile, but you turned, ignoring him. Your mother’s cold voice echoed in the grand hall.

“Darling, please welcome your new father.”

She didn't ask for your opinion, she simply barged ahead as she always did, as if you didn't matter. It angered you beyond belief, but it also made you feel so insignificant like you were nothing and if you simply went to sleep and never woke up, the world would continue around you, not even stopping to mourn. The room was dead silent as it awaited your response, eyes bearing down upon you. Your mother's cold expectant ones, the knowing eyes of the servants, the eyes of this new man. Emotions roiled in your gut and you stood suddenly, rattling the crockery on the table. You could tell your face was a mess, and you felt the tears start to slip down your cheeks as you ran from the room. 

You heard voices fade away as you slammed the door behind you. The worried voice of the young man and your mother's cold reply. 

“Is she feeling quite well? Was it something I did?”

“Don't mind her foolishness, she is simply a child.”

You fled down the hall, your skirts a whirl around your legs as you ran from the suffocating room. You were not a child, and most definitely not foolish, you seethed to yourself as you yanked open the doors to your chambers. 

But as you entered your room, all the explosive anger drained out of you, leaving only cold acceptance and resentment. It was childish, you mused as your stomach growled in hunger. You crashed face-first on your bed, your hair falling from its updo and pooling messily around your shoulders. 

Your mind was a mess, greatly resembling a dark and stormy ocean, a rocky shore tossed by tumultuous waves. Emotions raced through you, too fast to truly catalog. Angry thoughts of your mother's disrespect for your father's name. How could she bring this young handsome boy toy to the castle, so soon after your father's death? And to introduce him as your father? You vowed to never accept this man, to snub him at every turn and refuse to acknowledge him as your father.

(Somewhere, deep in your subconscious, you felt the vile monster of jealousy rear its head and stomp its many feet threateningly. You were jealous, jealous of your mother's goddess-like beauty, jealous of her power, and most of all, you wished the unnamed man could have been yours instead.)

♔♕♔

On that fateful day, the day your mother got remarried, you were notably absent. Your maids had searched and searched your usual hiding spots, but you were nowhere to be found. You were, in fact, in a very unprincesslike position, thrown over two bales of hay, your body bared to the heavy air of the stable. You lost your innocence to the handsome stable boy as wedding bells filled the air. And as you felt ecstasy, gripping the stable boy's broad shoulders, you couldn't really say you were sorry. At the moment at least. The lasting consequences were a bit of an inconvenience. The absence of such a notable figure, the daughter of the bride at that, sent scandalized whispers spreading around the castle. 

“The Princess did not show her face at her mother's wedding.”

“She must not accept this new man.”

The rumors didn't bother you but what did bother you was your mother's response or rather lack thereof. There was only a slight tick in her perfectly arched eyebrows as she looked down at you, picking at her long scarlet nails. You met her gaze head-on, never one to show fear to a predator. She looked over at you, taking note of your disheveled appearance, the bits of hay tangled in your long hair, the red marks scattered across your neck, and shook her head. 

She tutted disapprovingly. “Darling, if you must partake in those kinds of…” She paused, raising a perfect eyebrow delicately, “Activities…try to restrain yourself when you have official duties.”

You felt like stomping the ground, no matter how childish it was. Your mother always made you feel like this. Like a small, insignificant child, wandering about the world in dumb confusion, and not a fully grown adult woman. You opened your mouth to protest, but your mother waved a hand, dismissing you. You turned, your shoes pattering on the marble floor. You had just reached the door when she spoke last time. 

“And for god’s sake, clean yourself up.”

You slammed the door behind you and made the long trek back down the twisting halls and into your chambers.

All through the short and unpleasant meeting you had avoided meeting the eyes of your new ‘father’, but if you had dared to look, you would have noticed the pangs of hurt and disappointment flashing through his dark eyes. 

♔♕♔

Over the next few months, you did your best to avoid your new ‘father’. And soon, he gave up his little attempts to get to know you and treated you with the exhaustion of a man who accepted the fact that he was not wanted. Infuriatingly, he was never disrespectful of you, never treated you with contempt, and oh, how it angered you. It was hard to justify your hate when he was such a nice person. And so, a year passed, and then, only a few months before your nineteenth birthday, your mother died.

It was a carriage accident. She was on the way to a friend's house when the carriage was struck by lightning and thrown, burning, off the side of a cliff. It was a fitting end for your mother, fiery and dramatic.

 It was sudden, and in your opinion a much-needed breath of fresh air. Maybe you were a truly vile person for thinking this, but your mother had never truly loved you, and you most definitely had returned that hatred. But she was your mother, so even though you loathed it, you couldn't stop the few tears that fell at the funeral. 

Later that night, you go through your mother’s belongings and find a stack of leather journals, her personal diaries. Unsure of whether you want to know what these bound confessionals hold you let them sit untouched for a few hours. Finally, overcome with curiosity you open the volume marked with the earliest date and begin to read. As you read her diaries you let yourself cry in earnest. Your mother was a pitiful person, obsessed with beauty to a fault, and it in the end had doomed her, doomed her to a life of marriage to a man she didn't love, not allowed to love who she truly loved. Thinking back to the funeral you did notice the familiar and yet strange woman mourning your mother from the background. A friend your mother had called on at indecent times of the night. The pieces were beginning to fit together. You wanted to hate her, you really did, but as you read of her heartache, you felt yourself sympathizing with her. You hated that feeling, so you buried it deep in your heart, and burned the remainder of her diaries. As you watched the smoke billow into the air, you cried, your tears watering the vines choking your throat. 

 You watched in grim acceptance as Chan, your ‘father’, accepted the position of temporary monarch, at least until you got married. Truthfully, although you glared fiercely at him, you didn't mind. Being a monarch was a responsibility you were not willing and not ready to shoulder, and Chan was a fair, level-headed person. Those exact qualities were something you despised in him. It was hard to hate a man who was so easygoing and intelligent. But you hated him, you were certain of it. Every thought of him was accompanied by a pounding in your heart like the drumbeat of soldiers marching to war. When you laid eyes on him your body would flush with anger, your fists trembling and your breathing choking you with hatred. If this terrifying feeling was not hatred, you could not tell what it was. And you didn't know if you wanted to know.

♔♕♔

For the next several years, you settled into an uneasy peace, interspersed with dramatic fiery fights that left you running away from it all, on your favorite horse, and disappearing for hours on end. You would always ignore Chan’s worried face when you got back, intent on hating him.

You embroidered, chatted with your friends, rode your horse about the pastures, and begrudgingly met with your dreadful fiance. And just like that, four long years had passed and you were nearing your twenty-fourth birthday when Chan summoned you into his study.

You hated his study, hated how cozy he had made it with warm red curtains and dark cherry wood surfaces, hated the faint smell of woodfire, and Chan's deep musky scent that made you heat up with what you were sure was anger. You avoided this room of the castle at all costs, but even you could not ignore a direct summons, so you stood before him, avoiding his eyes. 

“Name, please sit.”

He waved his hand and you wanted to refuse, but you valued your comfort over your stubborn nature so you sat across from him on the red satin couch, munching away at a few biscuits and avoiding his eyes. You watch Chan’s hands as he places you a cup of tea in front of you, and pours his own. You take a deep breath, the sweet scent of jasmine, your favorite tea, filling your nostrils. Chan sighed, the breath gusting out from between his plump lips as he spoke. 

“I hear you did not attend your usual meeting with your fiance.” You do your best to portray your annoyance with your face as you speak, still not meeting his eyes. 

“Lord Brandish is dreadfully boring and dull, I just could not stand to speak with him again.”

Chan sighs a sigh of frustration, one that only you can manage to pull out of his mouth, and sets his teacup down on the wooden surface of the table. He looks at you and you hate the disappointment leaking from his eyes. 

“Name, you are nearing your twenty-fourth year already, soon it will be time for you to get married and take over rulership of this kingdom.” 

You hate how level-headed and smart he sounds, and how in comparison you sound like a dumb immature child. What makes it worse is the way he handles you, so patient even after you treated him with such disrespect. You slam your tea cup on the table, the hot tea sloshing over your fingers. You hiss at the burn and Chan rushes to your side, his strong hands grasping your own.

“Name are you alright? Does it hurt?”

His hands are big, much bigger than your own, and the comforting warmth envelopes you, spreading from your hands all throughout your body. The warmth scares you, but in a moment of weakness, you let him caress your hands gently, smoothing ointment onto the burns. It takes a moment, but Chan meets your eyes, perhaps wondering why you haven't yanked your hands away and stormed off. You find yourself wondering the same thing and hurriedly yank them away, settling as far away from him as you can. He seems to sink in on himself, returning to his seat and clearing his throat. 

“As I was saying, you cannot miss these appointments, they are vital to your future relationship with your fiance…”

He continues on, and you tune him out, your anger slowly building. How dare he, who is he to command you like this? As usual, anger is your first reaction, and you brandish it both as a shield and a sword.

“I refuse to go.”

Chan stops, his eyes meeting your own, and waves his hand around.

“Name, you're being childish. You must continue to go—”

You interrupt, your heart beating in your ears. 

“I refuse!” 

You hate your fiance, hate his crude remarks, his overall poor attitude, and the way his slimy hands feel up your thighs at every opportunity. Lord Brandish is a truly vile man, but of course, he puts on his mask, playing the part of the perfect gentleman in front of Chan and your servants. 

Lord Brandish appeared to them a perfect man, as handsome as he was kind, and they simply could not understand your animosity towards him. And to you, you would never tell. The mere thought made you feel pathetic, running to your ‘father’, admitting you could not solve all your problems on your own. It felt like weakness, and you hated weakness. So you bottled it up and did your best to treat him with absolute contempt, hoping maybe, he would just refuse to marry you. Sadly, that day had not come. 

Chan threw his hands up in exasperation, as you continued on. Your voice trembled embarrassingly as you jumped to your feet. 

“Who are you, how can you make me go?”

You could see he was finally losing his patience as he stood as well, his hands waving annoyed patterns in the air. 

“Name, I don't understand why you can't just listen to me for once!”

You are yelling by now, your usual defense mechanism, anger, spewing out of your painted lips like knives, flying at their target and embedding themselves deep in his chest. 

“I can't! I won't!”

Your words are basically nonsense, the emotions you had buried deep in your heart, all those tears you had refused to let fall, years and years of loneliness and resentment crawling their way out of your heart. Akin to ugly black vines, the leaves long withered, and dead, weaving their way up your body, tearing through your internal organs, and exploding out of your mouth in ugly sobs. You bite the sobs back, they were a weakness. 

Anger is burning in Chan's eyes. The two of you had indeed had fights before, but for some reason, this particular fight felt different. There was a quality in the air, floating around the two of you like a deadly wind, disturbing everything it touches. You were basically in hysterics by now, hands clutching and tearing at your necklace, and it was no longer about the conversation, no longer about Lord Brandish. This was about something much deeper, something darker, something you weren't ready to talk about yet. 

The vines were back, tearing at your throat and teeth, and in a moment of weakness, you let them out. All your resentment tearing out of your mouth in three final words.

“I hate you.”

They were words you had never dared to say, never quite believed, and the moment they left you, the moment you looked up and saw his face, the anger melted out of you and you burst into tears. It was all too much, the pain on his face, the way he stumbled back slightly, the way his hand trembled as he reached for you. The tears were still burning a hot path down your cheeks, staining the collar of your dress dark with water. You felt pathetic and small, and most of all, you knew at that moment that you didn't hate Chan. You thought it would feel good to finally say those words out loud, that it would feel like a relief. Instead, the feeling that ran through you was regret. The vines that had poured out of your mouth were suffocating you, and all you wanted to do was cry and cry until it all went away. 

You were still so young, so immature, and you felt so, so regretful. You were drowning in your tears, you were suffocating in your clothes and you just wished it would all go away.

Warm arms enveloped you, pulling you into a hard chest, caressing your hair roughly. You began to cry harder, the words coming out jumbled and croaky. 

“Chan, I apologize. I never meant it, I just—”

His deep voice interrupted your choked apologies, his hands rubbing soothing circles in your back. 

“Shhh, I know. I know.”

His kindness, his ever-present kindness, just made your tears fall faster, your hands knotting in the back of his shirt.

“You are just so kind, and I was so horrible to you and I apologize—”

He just stroked your back soothingly, murmured nothing into your hair, and let you cry, years' worth of emotions wetting the thin fabric of his undershirt. It felt good to cry, and those horrible dead vines wrapped around your throat slowly loosened, falling gently around your shoulders, and turning a brilliant vibrant green. Leaves sprouted and you cried and cried, until the sun sank below the distant hills, and you found yourself still laying in his arms, embraced on the floor. It had been so long since you had felt a touch of comfort, and you would have compared it to the times your father had held you like this, but for some strange reason, it didn't quite feel like that.

It felt comforting of course, but you also felt strange. Your cheeks flushed pink, your heart pounding against your ribcage. You had always assumed this strange feeling was rage, but maybe…

You hurriedly put a stop to that line of thought. For now, you should do your best to make it up to Chan and enjoy your time with your ‘father’.

♔♕♔

Over the next few weeks, you spent more and more time with Chan. The two of you would eat each meal together, and you found that he was actually very pleasant company. You found he shared your love of horse riding and promptly planned a picnic. The servants cooed over your relationship, most of them just grateful you were both happy, although you had heard strange whispers and giggles from the maids every time you interacted. You asked them, but they had just giggled and ran off. It was strange but you were too happy to dwell on it as you anticipated your picnic. 

It was a beautiful day for a picnic, the sun smiling down and the wind tossing your hair around your head gracefully. Your favorite horse, Pearlie whinnied and reared playfully into the air as you stroked her pure white coat. 

Pearlie was a beautiful white mare, gifted to you on your fifteenth birthday by your father. You took one look at her pure white coat and promptly named her Pearlie. Your father had dissolved in laughter and patted your head reassuringly. 

Pearlie was docile and playful, and you adored her with your entire being. Her long white main blew gently in the wind, the sun bouncing off her gold embroidered saddle and almost blinding you. You patted her reassuringly.

“Just wait a minute more Pearlie, it's almost time.”

A cough sounded behind you and you whip around, your eyes coming to rest on Chan. Your breath caught in your throat. He looks positively radiant, clothed in a thin white shirt and tight black pants, his hand grabbing the reins of a gorgeous black stallion. His brown curls blew gently in the breeze, he smiled at you, his dimples peeking out. You felt your heart heating up and again, your heart beating insistently in your chest, bumping against your ribcage and begging to be let out, if only to jump into his arms. Much like you wanted to do. A flash of gold caught your eyes and you looked down, blushing as naked flesh graced your eyes. The front of his shirt was undone, and a bit of fair peck peaked out at you. A golden pendant hung around his neck, swaying gently as he walked, drawing your eyes towards its golden glow and the swaths of skin available for your eyes to devour. You hurriedly yanked your eyes away and mounted your horse. Chan joined you, pulling his black stallion up next to yours. He smiled and your heart felt like it would simply rip from your chest and leave you cold and dead. 

“Ready to depart?”

You managed a nod and urged Pearlie into a trot. You let the wind cool your heated cheeks, let it caress your face and toss your hair, and all too soon, you had arrived at your destination.

The lake was special, a spot you had discovered one day, running from your mother's wrath. The sunlight bounced off the pure blue surface, and the trees around it were such vibrant greens, rivaled only by the bright wildflowers littering the ground. The air was warm, and butterflies scattered as you dropped to the ground, Chan following suit.

He let out a noise of amazement. “This place is extraordinary.”

You smiled, happy that he thought so too. “Isn't it? It's my special place.”

You were busy laying out the blanket and missed the look he sent you, so full of happiness tinged only with a slight flavor of longing. 

You plopped down on the blanket, and he joined you, laying out the spread of treats. Small bite-size sandwiches, little cakes and pies, and a large pitcher of iced jasmine tea. It made your mouth water and you delicately picked up a small raspberry pie, taking a bite. Your teeth sank into the flaky pie crust, the slightly tart filling making your taste buds sing in delight. You let out a moan of satisfaction as you finished the treat, reaching for another as Chan laughed. 

“You like raspberries?”

You nod, your mouth full, and swallow a delicious bite. “The kitchen really outdid itself.” It is a picturesque afternoon, and in no time at all the large spread of food is long gone and the both of you are laying back, letting the breeze play gently with your clothes and gazing into the pure blue sky. Birdsong fills the air, and you can see butterflies darting around from flower to flower, never stopping for too long. Faintly, you think you can hear bees buzzing in the distance, and sure enough, across the lake, you spot a bees nest, hundreds of bees buzzing around it, little soldiers devoted to their work. The smell of nature fills your nostrils, wispy clouds arching gracefully and the sun blazing a path across the blue, blue sky. 

Chan breaks the peaceful silence, clearing his throat before speaking. “I am really glad we could do this.”

You nod, turning your body to face him, your arm squishing uncomfortably below your side. He looks positively radiant beside you, beaming at you, his dimples doing horrible things to your heart. You cough and reply. “I'm sorry, I was stubborn.”

Chan sits up, waving his hand in protest. “No, Name I didn't mean—”

You sit up as well, your hair falling around your shoulders and tickling your bare skin. It all just feels so carefree, you feel a smile carving its way across your face. 

“I know, Chan. I know how kind and forgiving you are.” You take a deep breath, stealing yourself to let your emotions show. “I should have noticed earlier. I took my irrational anger out on you and I apologize.”

You're not used to apologizing, and you know your dialogue sounds stiff and formal, but you can't quite think of another way to get it out. 

Chan moves to protest, but in a moment of ill-advised boldness, you place a finger gently on his plump lips, bringing his words to a sharp halt. 

“Chan. Let me apologize for this at least.”

He nods, and your hand falls reluctantly from his lips, finger hot from the contact. You're left looking at him, your eyes staring deep into his own deep brown ones and falling down, down, down. The world around you disappears, the birdsong fading away to nothing until all you can see is his face, highlighted by the sinking sun, his tousled brown hair, and those disastrous dimples disappearing as his smile fades, his eyes dipping from your own to focus on your lips. You're frozen in time, filled with a longing you finally understand. Those symptoms you for so long assumed were hatred were in fact desire. You long for his touch, for his warmth, and shamefully, for his love. The metaphorical vines curled lovingly around your neck begin to bloom, white lilies falling from their stems and plopping into your lap. The sun suddenly seems to shine just a little brighter, the leaves seem a more vibrant green, and the birdsong returns, louder and more beautiful than ever. You are floating, dancing in your happiness, the relief of realization rendering your body light, and now you're soaring, dancing on the cloud tops, but then, you fall. The guilt pours in, guilt over your love, your love of your mother's husband, a man who probably still devoted himself to her, even in her passing. And you know you could never compare to your mother, her beautiful face still etched in your mind, her cold expression glaring at you from her perch on the wall, her face immortalized in a royal portrait, frame made of solid gold. And you know, that you can never have this man, the man you want and have wanted for longer than you were willing to admit to yourself. And with that, the sun sinks below the hills, and the vibrant colors leak out of your surroundings. You break eye contact, turning away and standing up. 

Chan jumps to his feet. “Time to go?”

You nod, forcing a smile, and grip Pearlies reins in your hand. You turn, away from Chan and gaze out over the lake. This spot will be forever intertwined with bittersweet memories, a place where you came to realize your unrequited, very forbidden love. A heavy warm hand lands on your shoulder and you turn, Chan's worried face greeting your own. You find yourself mesmerized by his lips as he speaks. 

“Name, are you alright?” He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically and adorably shy. You took a deep breath and put on a smile. “I'm fine Chan, just a little tired.”

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes studying your face, and you did your best not to feel a little self-conscious. But then, he was done and you turned away, mounting Pearlie as he jumped atop his black steed, and you set off back to the castle. 

The ride back was silent, the orange glow of the sunset bathing the hills in fire, and the fireflies had come out to play. It was a beautiful scene, but you couldn't bring yourself out of your somber mood and the two of you rode home in tense silence. 

♔♕♔

Later that night, as your maids bustled about, lighting the lanterns one by one until the room was bathed in candlelight, you noticed the strange new addition to the room. A large mirror. Your head maid noticed where your eyes were going and helpfully chimed in. 

“Was your mother”s, she left it to you.”

You frowned. It didn't look like anything your mother would own. It was old, the glass slightly foggy and no matter how you strained your eyes, you could not make out a reflection. The rim of the mirror was gaudy, gold with inlaid jewels, and for some reason, as you stared at it you got the unpleasant sensation of eyes on you, watching you as you crept closer. 

You stretched a shaking hand out, and just as your fingers brushed against the surface, the fog within the mirror began to swirl violently. You jumped, pulling the offending hand back and clutching it to your chest as the fog congealed, coming together until a face was visible. You looked away hurriedly. It wasn't as if the face was ugly, no, you would rather describe it as unnerving. It was a woman, her face what you could only call perfection, and it was a woman who you knew far too well. Your mother's perfect face stared back at you, immortalized inside this strange mirror even as her corpse rotted in the graveyard far from the castle. The maids were gone now, and as you stepped closer to the mirror a breeze came in through your open window, ruffling your silk nightgown and tossing your hair. The woman in the mirror spoke first, but the voice that exited its perfectly painted mouth was not your mother’s, no, it was a strange amalgamation of voices, male and female, blending together in a truly unpleasant way. 

“You must be my new master.”

The face in the mirror moved as it spoke, almost as if your mother was here in front of you again, and you hated it. You responded, trying to hastily tidy your unruly hair. You always felt so small next to your mother, so small and unattractive. 

“Your master?”

The face in the mirror never changed, no emotion ever crossed its stone-cold face and the longer you stared at it the more dazed you felt, as if a heavy fog was suddenly blanketing your mind. The world seemed to fade away and all you could see was the mirror. The mirror spoke again, its words cutting like ice, pulling your insecurities out of your mind and weaponizing them against you. 

“You can be the object of his affection.”

Every emotion was heightened, and you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes as a sudden and intense desperation enveloped you and you rushed forward, gripping the sides of the mirror.

“Tell me! Tell me this instant!”

Your voice sounded desperate even to your ears but for some reason you didn't care. The mirror’s perfect face curved into a stunning smile, as its ruby lips parted one final time, and a poem fell from them. 

You repeat the first line of the poem as you exit the castle, your heels clicking much too loudly on the cobblestone path. 

“Enter the woods, under moonlight so bright…” You lift your eyes to the sky and breathe in relief as the moon decides to peek out from behind the clouds, lighting the path in front of you. 

You were always told never to enter the woods, and you hear the words echoing in the back of your mind, but the strange fog in your brain quickly blankets it, and you step off the cobblestones and onto the well-worn path into the woods. You reach into your pocket, pulling out a compass as you recite the next few lines in the poem. 

“A choice will be yours, surrender tonight, Walk to the north, not south or not west.” The woods are dark, the trees foreboding, their branches reaching desperately toward the moonlight. It's silent, unnervingly silent as you walk off the beaten path, your shoes touching damp grass, padding softly across its surface, and leaving crushed beaten grass in your wake. Not a sound crosses your lips, as you walk on, through the large trunks of huge black trees. You look at the little paper where you hastily scrawled the mirror's words, and read the next line.

“Until in a grove, she grants your request…”

Sure enough, ahead of you, your eyes catch on a break in the trees. The dark trees gave way to green moss and stones, and the moonlight poured into the clearing, illuminating the strange statue in the center. It's made of a peculiar black stone and almost shines by itself. It's big, much taller than you and the edges are rough, like it was hastily carved. It mesmerizes you, as you stare deep into the black interior you suddenly feel the urge to touch it. You move your hand, almost in a trance, and brush the rough surface. The surface is smooth, and ice cold, and as your fingers leave its surface it begins to melt away slowly, black goo melting off its surface and sizzling into the ground. The goo swirls, and the ground below it seems to melt away until a shining glass statue is revealed. The statue is large, almost your height, and of a woman. Her face is covered with a strange mask, round and smooth and without any features at all, her hair cascades down her shoulders, reaching all the way to the ground. She is clothed in a skin-tight gown, with a revealing slit up the side. Her feet are bare upon the grass. In her hand, she holds a single object, a shining golden apple. The paper in your hand flutters to the ground, long forgotten as you stare wide-eyed at the apple. Its shimmering surface mesmerizes you and you find yourself reaching out, and gripping its smooth surface in your hand. 

It's cold, and as you bring it to your lips, you have the vaguest feeling of foreboding. In the back of your disordered mind, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Chan, screaming at you to stop, to put the apple back and turn, leaving the woods for good. But the mirror's promise echoes in your mind and you open your mouth, taking a single bite of the apple. The skin is thin, the flesh just the right amount of sweet and tart. The apple is delicious, and as you chew it, you suddenly hunger desperately for more. Your gaze zeros in on the apple and you bring it to your lips again, but just like that, it slips from your hand. You look around in confusion, only for your vision to start to fade around the edges, your hands are suddenly limp and as your consciousness fades, you have one clear realization. 

“I should have never listened to that mirror.”

The last sensation you feel is the soft grass beneath your legs, as you fall gently to the ground, and slip into a dark, dreamless sleep.

♔♕♔

Something was wrong. Chan could feel it, even as the clock ticked on endlessly, as the words scrawled on documents began to blur over, as you waltzed through his mind, your smile consuming his every thought. It was unhealthy, and so, so wrong. This woman, this young, beautiful, and when he had enjoyed the chance to know you, kind woman was someone he could never even touch. This woman who he lived too close to, was a woman forever out of his desperate hands, a woman he could never have, never kiss. The thought killed him. And that was why Chan took the long journey to your room, down the dark empty halls, past the portraits that judged his every move, and knocked quietly on your door. It was late, he knew that. Much too late for him to be visiting you, and Chan felt his face heating up as he realized how improper it looked. Him, a young man, visiting a young woman in the dead of night. But, he reassured himself as he stood in front of your door, his first thoughts had been innocent, a desire to talk to you, to laugh with you, even if his later thoughts had turned less proper. 

The silence worried him, and he knocked again, harder. The door cracked open, light pouring into the dark hallway and Chan frowned. You were up? At this hour? He realized how hypocritical that sounded, here he was, awake and trying to visit you, but in his defense, he hadn't been thinking of anything besides your smile. The smile he had glimpsed this afternoon, shining like the sun after rainfall. Chan had thought he might die. You looked radiant among the flowers, a forest fairy masquerading as a human, a being so perfect and radiant he might die if he dared to lay a hand on her skin. He truly wondered if he had died and gone to heaven. Your smile was like the sun peeking its way from behind the clouds after a storm, the storm of your hatred. Chan never wanted to be on the receiving end of your hatred ever again. 

He pushed the door cautiously, and peaked around it, taking in the fully lit candles and the strange mirror standing in the corner of the room. He stepped inside, taking the opportunity to look around your room, usually a forbidden place for him. Your room was large, with high sloping ceilings giving it a breezy feel. Your window was open, curtains flapping in the wind, and the moonlight poured into the room, illuminating the white sheets on your bed. 

Your perfectly made bed. Your dreadfully empty bed. 

Chan ran to the window, his heart pounding in his chest. What was going on, where had you gone at this late hour? He feared the worst, even as he leaned out the window, and spotted the imprints in the grass. Footsteps. His body froze, ice water coating his insides and dread in his thoughts. Where could you be going at such a late hour. He prayed you had not headed into the woods. The woods were home to many things, some good, some terrifying, and the thoughts of what could happen to you turned his mind to stone. You were the  woman he loved above all else, he could not let you die. Chan knew it was illogical. He should have waited until morning, gathered an armed search team, and departed into the woods, but he could not help the way he ran down the stairs, and flung open the castle doors, running barefoot into the woods. 

Alas, his searching was for nothing, because as he stumbled back in the morning, sleep deprived and emotional, he still had not found you.

♔♕♔

And thus, six uneasy days passed. Chan pulled together a search team. He insisted on coming along, even if the head butler protested, and the team of strong volunteers turned the woods upside down in search of you. Night after sleepless night passed, and the dark circles under Chan’s eyes grew and grew. The servants whispered, their concern for their employers spread to the townsfolk and finally on the morning of the seventh day, they received a tip from a huntsman. A tip that told of a woman, asleep in a glass coffin, deep in the woods.

Armed with this information, they stumbled through the woods, exhausted men led by their relentless king, a man driven by a love he didn't even realize. And as the sun set on the seventh day, Chan found you.

The clearing was bathed in the rays of the dying sun, the light illuminating the intricate glass coffin taking up the center of the clearing. And laid in that coffin, still as death was you, still clothed in your white nightgown, hands crossed gently over your chest, holding a perfectly preserved golden apple. Chan feared the worst, stumbling to the coffin with a cry and throwing it open. His hands desperately felt for a pulse. Fear poured over his heart, as he felt nothing…

…a pulse, faint but definitely there. Chan collapsed to his knees, his head falling against the edge of the coffin, his hands desperately clutching the glass sides, and cried.

And that's how the rest of the search team found him, crouched against the glass coffin, tears streaming down his cheeks, knees grass-stained and dirty, looking nothing like the king he was, only a man brought to the ground with relief. 

They moved you to the castle, careful not to disturb you, and laid you to rest in your bed. Only then did Chan allow himself to sleep, although his dreams were nightmares, plagued with you, encased in glass, dead to this world. He awoke the next morning and rushed to you, certain you were awake but when he arrived in your room, took in your form, now changed into a white silk nightgown, still fast asleep. The maids shook their heads, and he rushed to your side, desperately calling your name. He tried and tried, but you remained as silent as death, faint pulse the only evidence that you were even alive, and he finally collapsed, sinking into a chair the maids had provided and taking your cold hand in his own. He took you in, your hair, now washed courtesy of the maids, fanning around your head, your eyes closed, lashes kissing your cheeks, your pretty mouth, open slightly as you breathe. Your skin was cold to the touch, and you made barely a sound in the room, cold and silent as death.

Cold and silent as your mother had been. 

Chan was never in love with your mother, and in turn, she had never loved him. It had been like a contract for her, to hide her secret lover from the public. She said lover, but Chan was not sure your mother could truly love anymore if the way she treated you was any indication. 

Chan still remembered the day the queen had shown up to his small house, in all her royal glory, and asked him to marry her. He had agreed, if only to support his siblings, and moved into the castle. He remembered the day he had met you, a woman so beautiful and full of life, so bright as she glared at him, so angry as she ignored him, such an opposite of the woman he married. He had admired you since the day he met you, your glowing beauty seemed to light up the room, your smile like the sun after a rainy day. Even your anger was vibrant, so much better than your mother's cold treatment of all living things. But soon he hungered for more. He longed to be on the receiving end of your smiles, to no longer be subject to your hatred. And then, one day, his wish had come true. After years and years of receiving your glares, one of your brilliant smiles had been reserved specifically for him. Not for the stable boy you favored, not for the new butler who the maids gossiped about, not even for your gossipy friends who smirked in his direction, no, this smile was reserved simply for him. It was karma, he decided, that the night after he received such a privilege, you disappeared for seven days, and then refused to wake up. 

Chan brought your ice-cold hand to his lips and pressed one gentle kiss upon your soft skin. Tears fell silently down his cheeks and dropped onto your hand. Chan prayed your fingers would twitch, that your eyes would flutter, and then open slowly, that your skin would warm and the color would return to your cheeks, but alas, no such thing happened. Your eyes remained closed, your skin remained cold, and the only thing he felt was a tap on his shoulder. The doctor had arrived. 

♔♕♔

The only sound in the room was the flip of paper, the rustling of pages turning. Chan glanced up from his book, hoping that your eyes would open, but alas you remained as still as ever. The doctor had come and gone, unable to do a thing, and the maids, having grown tired of his constant staring, had provided him with some books to occupy his mind, at least until the next doctor came to visit. Much to his chagrin, he had found himself being sucked into the world of the characters. He found himself sympathizing more and more with the main character, a man who was in love with a woman he could not have. He turned the pages eagerly, absorbed every word, and found the world melting away. He understood John, the main character in the novel, as he pinned over Elain, the young woman he loved and soon the characters were no longer John and Elaine, but they became Chan and you, and he imagined every interaction as you and him. It helped him escape, helped him hold hope that one day you would wake up and interact with him again. 

The book had a happy ending. John and Elaine got married and moved into John's large house together. Chan felt satisfied as he put down the book, leaning back in his chair. He could picture your wedding. You would look stunning in white, just as you looked now. And he would watch you walk down the aisle, smiling from ear to ear. Your vows would be exchanged, and you would retreat to the wedding bedroom. Chan felt his cheeks heat up, but he continued with his fantasy even as he glanced around nervously. There you lay, asleep and peaceful on the bed. He could not dare to do such a thing in front of your sleeping form, so he stood up and turned the chair around. It was much better to face a wall and do such a thing as touch himself thinking of you, right in front of your sleeping face. He still felt like a degenerate as he imagined the scene. 

You would tease him, you liked to tease. He could imagine it now, your first layer of skirts falling gently to the floor, leaving you only in your thin underlayer. He could see your nipples, perky and rubbing against the fabric. 

Chan gulped, palming himself slightly over his pants. It was embarrassing how quickly he rose to hardness, over a simple fantasy. 

You would let the last layer fall, and sit on the bed, your perfect body on display for his greedy eyes. He watched as you smirked, spreading your legs and bearing your core for his eyes. Chan gulps as you beckon him forward, falling to his knees before your core. 

The Chan in reality refuses to actually pull himself out of his pants, electing instead to press harder, his palm doing its best in the circumstances as he falls back into his fantasy. 

You grip his hair, smirking down at him, and with enough force to startle, shove his face into your—

A knock sounds on the door, interrupting his dirty fantasies and Chan hurriedly does his best to hide his hardness, pulling himself as the maids lead the next doctor in. If they notice his disheveled appearance and how the chair is now facing the wall, they don't say a thing. 

♔♕♔

For the next few days, the castle was abuzz with worry. The news spread fast, and soon villagers were lining up with gifts. Everything from jewelry to a bouquet of wildflowers given to him by a small girl, who sobbed and asked if the princess would wake up. Chan did his best to reassure her, even if on the inside he felt like crying. 

He summoned every doctor he could, but none of them seemed to have an answer. You seemed to be stuck in time. You didn't need to eat, or drink, and you didn't change one bit, from the moment they found you laying inside that glass coffin, deep in the woods. Hours turned to days and you didn't wake up. Chan despaired. He posted desperate notices around the kingdom, begging for any information regarding endless sleep. He tried any and every doctor he could, he prayed to any god available, but alas, nothing. 

Days turned to weeks, and the word seemed to move on around him, even as you slept, so beautiful but so lifeless, and even as Chan despaired. He did his best and ran the kingdom like he was supposed to, but everyone could tell his heart wasn't in it. His eyes looked glazed and distant, and he spent all his free time sitting by your bed, holding your hand. The villagers and nobles cooed at his dedication, calling it the love story of the century, but the servants did their best to keep the rumors from him. A month passed, and Chan feared you would never wake again. He was so close to giving up, when one day, a strange woman entered the palace, and with her dirty robes, she brought his hope. 

The woman appeared old, but with witches, you could never be so sure. She smiled at Chan, looking calm and complacent, a sharp difference from Chan’s harried look. She was wearing a long red dress, a woolen cloak covering most of her body. When she first appeared, it had been covered in mud, but between the time she had entered the door and Chan had brought her to your room, the cloak looked brand new. 

Chan spoke first. “Do you think you can help her? She won't wake up and I don't know what to do anymore—”

The witch raised a manicured finger, and Chan stopped talking, effectively shushed. The witch spoke, and her voice echoed in your large chambers, years younger than her appearance. 

“I'll see what I can do.”

Chan blinked, and when he looked back at her, she had de-aged, looking closer to thirty than ninety. Her blond hair, cut in a sharp bob at her chin, peaked out from her hood as she smiled at him. Witches and their disguises. Her blue eyes lined heavily with black, took in the situation and Chan watched nervously as she walked to the bed where you lay, still as cold and silent as ever before. She looked at you for a second, her eyes scanning your features, frozen in time before her eyes moved to the golden apple, sitting inconspicuously on your small bedside table. Chan frowned as she picked it up, turning it around in her hands, her nails filed to lethal sharp points, and painted a dangerous red. He had never given the apple much thought, too concerned with your state, but as she turned it around he noticed the one, small bite, perfectly preserved, on one side. 

Chan can't help himself, he rushes forward. 

“Is that what it is? Is she poisoned? Is she never going to…”

He can't bear to say it and lets the sentence trail off. The witch stares at him for a moment, chewing something in her mouth, before she takes pity on his sorry state and sets the apple down, turning to him. 

“Yes, cursed apple. But…”

She turns and walks to the strange mirror that had been sitting in the corner of your room. Chan watches in horror as she lifts a pointy heeled shoe, and gracefully kicks the mirror. The surface shatters, the pieces clattering to the ground like rainfall, and Chan opens his mouth to protest but shuts it as he watches. 

The pieces have risen in the air, distorting and twisting until they crash to the earth, and with a strange howl, one that sounds a lot like despair and fills his soul with sadness, they vanish. The room seems automatically lighter, like a disturbing presence has been removed from the room, and Chan suddenly felt a bit more optimistic. The witch turned to him with a sigh, tossing the apple in the air. Chan watched it spin, slightly mesmerized. 

“Alright, it seems like that vile mirror convinced your lover to depart into the woods and eat this apple.”

Chan frowned, questions spilling from his mouth. 

“How did the mirror do that? What kind of mirror was it and why would it do that? Also—”

The witch held up a hand, silencing him as the apple spins in the air again, coming to rest in her manicured hand. 

“It's a cursed mirror. A vile human soul, doomed to trick unsuspecting people into death.”

How did such a thing end up in your possession? He can only imagine the horrible thoughts it must have put into your head. Chan’s horror must show on his face because she chuckles a little as she continues. 

“It must have played on her insecurities, impersonated a person she feared or respected, and convinced her to go into the woods.”

The witch moved over to the window as she spoke, and drew her arm back, and with all her might, threw the golden apple into the sunlight. It spuns in the air for a moment, before it exploded with a bang, disappearing into thin air. Chan staired. The witch laughed.

“That apple,” She said, dusting her hands of imaginary dirt. “Is a cursed item. It's the usual thing,”

The witch held up two fingers, and pitched her voice, mimicking someone. “Cursed to sleep until she receives true loves kiss,’ it's so cliche but some witches still rely on the old stuff—”

“True love’s kiss?”

The witch looked at him like he was stupid. “Yes, true love's kiss. Should be easy for you.”

She pulled the hood of her cloak up, and Chan watched as wrinkles grew on her fair skin, her hair turned a dark gray, and she aged about fifty years. Her voice was still clear and young when she spoke. “Unfortunately, I have to go.” she waved an old wrinkled hand and smirked at him. “Good luck.”

And with that, she was gone, like she was never even there, leaving Chan to deal with the bombshell of a declaration she dropped on his head. 

Chan deliberated long and hard about this dilemma, his brain in conflict with his heart, worry constantly etched across his handsome face. He knew his kiss would work, he loved you more than he thought he had loved anything before. But as much as he longed to press his lips to yours, he was too afraid of the consequences, afraid of what would happen when his kiss worked and you opened your eyes. Afraid of the disdain that would cross your face once you realize your stepfather had inappropriate feelings for you. The thought of your face carved into a mask of disgust made his heart ache desperately in his chest, but he would rather live a life with your hatred than live a life without you entirely. 

He sank into the chair beside your bed and turned his eyes on your still form. You were so beautiful, but silent and cold as a statue and Chan longed for anything, your laughter, your screams, even your sobs, anything but this cold shell of a woman laying deathly still on the bed. Your lips, slightly parted in sleep, taunted him. Blushed a pretty pink, curved and sultry and teasing him even now. You were a temptress incarnate, and Chan would do his best to resist your charms until the very end. You were carefree, wild and the exact opposite of your mother, and as a result you had no shortage of admirers. Your fiance, who in Chan's opinion was a jerk, the stable boy, a handsome new butler, a young lord at a ball. And some of them, you favored them back, disappearing off for secret trists that your mother had scoffed at and Chan wished desperately that he was one of those men you snuck off with. He still remembered the fateful time he had accidentally heard you, panted moans and pretty cries painting a forbidden picture. You sounded so beautiful, and Chan had longed desperately that he was the one teasing those sounds out of you, not some upstart young lord. He was ashamed at the way he leaned against the wall, guiltily listening to your symphony of sounds, unable to bring himself to leave until you reached your high, sneaking off to take care of himself. It was a shameful memory, one he blushed at even now, even as he desperately prayed to any god available, and leaned forward, pressing his lips to your own in a chaste kiss. A kiss so full of longing, a forbidden taste of something he could only pine for, a woman constantly out of his reach. 

♔♕♔

The world was a sea of black. It stretched forever, all you could see. Your body felt weightless, and you blinked, looking around for something, anything. But there was nothing. You faintly remembered an apple, a mirror, and then the sensation of falling, but your memory after that was blank. You decided to walk forward, looking for anything. Your feet made no sound as you pattered across the nothingness, and after what seemed like only a few minutes, your vision began to waver. You felt a creeping sensation on your back, and a voice you could not hear urged you to run, run away from the thing behind you. You knew subconsciously that if it caught you, you would never wake up. And so you ran. 

You flew, your desire to wake propelling your feet, even as your throat begged for water and your legs burned. Somewhere in the distance, you saw light, and in front of that light, a figure. A familiar figure, a figure of a man you loved with all your heart. You ran and ran, and the Chan in the distance held out a hand that you longed to grab. Your feet moved impossibly faster, and you practically flew towards him, even as the sound of slithering behind you grew louder, the creeping sensation sending shivers up your spine. And as you came into the light, as you grabbed his bigger hand in your own, as he pulled you into a warm hug, the world around you faded. The strange dreamscape blurred, and you opened your eyes to the familiar colors of the ceiling, in your private chambers. You blinked, and looked around, your eyes catching on the figure seated beside your bed. Chan looked haggard, his eyes were highlighted by dark circles and his hair was a mess, but the relief in his eyes trumped it all. Your mouth felt dry as you opened it to speak. 

“I'm hungry.”

You watched in confusion as tears slipped from Chan's eyes, and he tackled you on the bed, hugging you tight to his chest. You fell back against the bed, your back hitting the silky covers as pounds of muscle crashed onto you, suffocating you in his embrace. You melted into it, albeit a little confused, and stoked his large back as he cried into your nightgown. Your voice cracked as you spoke again. 

“What's wrong?”

The door crashed open, and your head maid and bedroom maids crashed into the room. As soon as they lay eyes on you they were running to the bed, tears running down their faces. You were beyond confused but no one bothered to answer your questions. It took a long time for everyone to stop crying, and the maids promptly heard your complaint and brought you a bowl of warm soup and bread. Chan, still sniffling, sat in the chair by your bed and looked deliciously disheveled and desperate. You munched happily on your food as the castle staff piled into your room, and answered their questions.

Chan asked the first question. 

“Why did you go into the woods?”

You remembered the thoughts that had sent you into the woods, and now that you thought back on them it seemed oftly extreme. It seemed the mirror might have been the cause of them. You chewed thoughtfully as you answered. 

“This strange mirror, it told me I could be beautiful…”

You play with your spoon, a little ashamed and blushing deeply as you continue. 

“I was a little erratic, I am in love with this man and so I listened to the mirror’s rambles, even if they were irrational.”

You're too focused on your embarrassment to notice the giggles and looks traded among the staff, the way your stepfather's shoulders sink slightly, his disappointed gaze. Because he could never imagine that you love him, you must be in love with some young lord, a man who doesn't deserve your love, who could never give you what you want. He shook his head, putting a stop to that presumptuous line of thought. He knows you deserve someone younger than him, unmarried and full of youthful energy to match your carefree spirit. 

You keep glancing at Chan out of the corner of your eye, looking for any change in his expression, and you watch in delight as his shoulders sink, and his face darkens. You feel a flicker of hope spark in your chest, small and pathetic, but there nonetheless. You decide to test the waters a little. Clasping your hands together, you keep your eye on Chan as you speak. 

“I'm just so in love, I think of him every day, and I long to spend the rest of my life with him.”

You feel a little bad as you watch Chan’s face fall, watch his hands clenched in his lap. The small flame in your heart sputters and grows, roaring to life and heating your heart in a joyful fire. You are now sure he loves you back. He sends you a strained smile, trying to be encouraging. 

“That's, um, wonderful!” The servants giggle behind him, trading secret smiles hidden behind their hands. 

“So, when will I meet this wonderful man?” The emphasis on wonderful makes you want to laugh, and you choke back your giggles as you continue. 

“You know him.” Confusion flashes across his face. “I do?” The staff is muffling laughter behind their hands, but Chan remains ever oblivious. You smirk. “Yes, very well.” 

You think he might be the only person in the room, stuffed to the brim with castle staff, that hasn't gotten it. His brow furrows as he thinks. “Is it Lord Brandish?” You emphatically shake your head. He frowns. “I really can't think of anyone else…”

Your head butler coughed, running a hand through his perfectly combed silver hair. His voice is resigned as he speaks. 

“It's you, sire.”

The room is dead silent. Chan stands, his eyes wide as he turns to the head butler. “Really?” The butler nods, and Chan turns again, tripping over the leg of the chair and crashing onto the bed, narrowly avoiding your soup. Your head maid rescues the food from your lap and you grin as Chan blushes, pulling himself into a sitting position. His voice is uncharacteristically shy as he speaks. 

“Is it really me?” Your beaming as you nod and a hopeful smile lights up his handsome face. You throw the covers off your legs and stand, your feet hitting the soft carpet with a thud. 

Chan takes your hand in his own, and bows before you, bringing his full lips to it. Your heart pounds as he presses a delicate kiss to it. He straightens to his full height “I love you more than you can imagine.” Someone coos in the background, but all you can see is the handsome man in front of you, your hand still clasped in his. He drops your hand, and you feel his hand heavy on your waist, his other hand coming up to caress your jaw, tilting your head up. His voice is so soft as he speaks. 

“When I looked into your eyes, my heart felt like it would escape my chest and run into your arms.” Your own heart feels the same, and you wonder if you might die. He's closer to you now, and all you can see is him. Around you, the servants begin to creep out giggling and smiling as they leave. The door shuts behind the last of them but neither of you notice, too caught up in each other's eyes. His voice is raspy now, and his gaze drops to your lips, darting back up to your eyes and back down. “At that moment… I knew I loved you.” 

He's so cheesy, and if any other man was saying such sugar-coated words, you would laugh in his face. But when Chan says it, your heart pounds in your chest and your cheeks burn with the fire of your heart. You suppose everything is different with him. His breath hits your lips, intermixing with your own as he comes ever closer. His voice is a whisper when he speaks. 

“Can I kiss you?” You smile, your hand winding around to grip his shoulders, as you reply. “Please kiss me.”

And so he does. 

♔♕♔

Your wedding is a joyous occasion, the townspeople clap happily, and as you kiss your new husband, under a rain of lilies, clutching the precious flower in your hands, you think back on what an odd set of events had preceded it. To think, in a way, you had your mother to thank for your husband. After all, it was she who brought Chan into your life, her death that had indirectly caused the two of you to have an opportunity to become closer and her magic mirror that pushed you to go trecking into the woods in the first place. And as the joyous wedding bells rang through the air, as you and Chan boarded the carriage and sat side by side, your head on his shoulder as the driver whipped the horses into a trot, you found it in yourself to be thankful to her. For although she had caused you a great deal of pain, in the end it had shaped you into the person you were today, a person full of flaws, yes, but those flaws just made you human. 

“Why are you so quiet. Having second thoughts?”

You giggled, and snuggled closer into your husband's strong embrace. “I would never.” You replied, and tilted your head up for a kiss. 

And as your lips locked, and you drove off into the sunset, you were sure this was the happiest you had been in your whole life, but you knew, there were only happy days to come. 

♔♕♔

taglist: @angieknght, @moasworld, @lofasofabread, @smhlino, @elizalabs3, @orrrgannnic

[gothsuguru]

omg I'm the anon who was talking about "black is the colour" ur so cute omds 😭😭 but no fr i felt like crying when I read it for the first time its genuinely so beautiful if that fic was a person I'd propose there and then. also YES I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FANFICS PLEASE FEED ME O FANFICALICIOUS ONE 🙏🙏🙏 also O M F G IM SO EXCITED FOR A PREMONITION OF LOVE DONTTTT GET ME STARTED IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET U DONT UNDERSTAND u are a really amazing writer yk like srsly those thoughts swirling in ur brain its like woah

WAHHHHHH I LOVE YOU SM ANON PLEASE KNOW IF THAT FIC WAS A PERSON THEY WOULD ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL IMMEDIATELY!!!!! <333 MWAH! AND OMG THANK YOU SM I HOPE I CAN WRITE IT WELL (i have soooooo many ideas and please… sniffles… you’re so sweet i swear the self confidence boost you gave me… it’s too dangerous friend 🙂‍↕️🩷) ALSO I’M ASSUMING FOR FIC RECS YOU MEANT FLUFF ONES BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO DO OTHER RECS!

there’s are just a few fics that i love so much and truly all of these people are such amazing writers <333 i’ll put a couple down below — in no particular order! :D

“tuesdays” by my beloved io <3 — MY FAVORITE SATORU FIC AND POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FLUFF FIC IN GENERAL OF ALL TIME RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH no one understands how much peculiar!satoru means to me… this is my favorite rendition of satoru EVER. there’s just something about how io dove into a facet of satoru’s personality that i never really thought about — aka his peculiarities — that just GENUINELY made my brain short-circuit in the best way possible. it was about his awkwardness, seriousness, silliness, & inability to read certain social cues/situations that made me really enamored honestly 😭 also reader was SO real and so fun and was there for satoru in terms of his personal growth! ALSO the story premise was just so unique in GENERAL omfg it was the first fic where i maxed out 30 tags like i didn’t know tumblr had tag limits until i read io’s fic and i just had so much more to say too 😭 WE WEREN’T MOOTS YET WHEN I READ IT BUT TRUST IF WE WERE I WOULD’VE RB’D W 10 PAGES MLA FORMAT ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY!!!!! BC I’M REAL LIKE THAT!!!!!! i wish i could read this fic all over again omfg io’s love for satoru and her writing prowess shines through massively in this fic <3 (i also love “strawberry fields” it’s another one of my FAVS NDNDNDJDJ satoru going on reddit and being clowned for date ideas by sukuna will always make me giggle like one thing about sukie… he’ll pray on a bad bitch’s downfall…) ok sorry this one got so long i’m just the Biggest Proponent of “tuesdays” it holds a very dear place in my heart :3

“two is never a crowd” by @mossmotif — ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV SATORU FICS EVERRRRRRRR i can’t explain to you how much moss’ writing affects me………. okay i Can and Will . MOSS’ WRITING IS ONE OF A KIND I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO BC IT’S SUCH IN A LEAGUE OF ITS OWN!!!!! i think its the way that they have 1) the most interesting concepts & character dynamics first and foremost that gets me bc how does one even think of a stablehand!reader? and how is it that it fits so UNBELIEVABLY perfectly with a royal!gojo??? i remember reading the fic for the first time and i was just in awe of how it felt like i was THERE which leads me to point 2) the way moss uses settings to invoke emotion is insane……… from the blood and dark clearings and metal of knight!suguru to the purgatory of youth of suguru & reader and how they connect with sharing fruit to the quaint yet vast green openness of the fields where stablehand!reader works with their horses which then invites satoru in bc the reader just holds a Steadiness and Calmness that infiltrates everyone around them………… all of it is just delicious. JUST YUMMY. (also vamp!suguru? very cunty very sexy i need him CARNALLY.) also for moss… if you’ve ever read a fic of theirs you’re just gonna Understand how insane it is that he’ll just drop the most life-changing quote/paragraph and then go about the story like . Can I Get My Inhaler For A Second I Can’t Breathe……… i HEAVILY implore you to read any moss fic you can because you will get grittiness in one, nostalgia in another, fluff in one, and eroticism in another . just truly and honestly a league of their own when it comes to fic writing <333 this is an i love moss stan account idgaf

“weeping, carved open hearts” by @teddybeartoji — ONE OF MY FAV TOJI FICS EVER RAHHHHHHHHH this one is more hurt/comfort WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TYPES OF FICS!!!!! i hold toji so close to my heart and mickey writes him so GENUINELY and so three-dimensionally — she makes him feel like a REAL person in the world with all his faults and insecurities and above all else — his LOVE! it’s like mickey plucks the beauty of the mundanity of real life such as a tree in a storm or a shampoo bottle or even a simple emotion like sadness and CURATES it into something so profoundly beautiful… genuinely he left me in shock & awe with how STUNNING this fic was and how REAL the emotions were from both reader & toji, it was like i was a fly on the wall just watching a true & genuine conversation play out! out of all the tags i have ever written on a fic, i’m most proud of the tags i left on mickey’s fic bc i think it’s the first time where i didn’t just regurgitate information and actually took in what was written by the author & made my own inferences and basically Used My Brain while also waxing poetic about mickey’s writing & the fic :3 ALSO YOU HAVE TO READ “I HUNGER TO COMMIT THE ACT OF TOUCH” . ALL PARTS YOU NEED TO READ ALL PARTS SO FAR AND GET YOUR LIFE CHANGED!!!!! the action the blood the yearning the eroticism the KNIGHTS. moaned loud as FUCK that’s my bad

“where you lead me, i’ll follow” by @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat — THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PROSE AND LIFE-CHANGING WRITING YOU WILL EVER READ! i remember reading this fic and being in complete and utter awe because it never once felt like i was READING something, it was like i was LIVING it! the conversations on that rooftop played out like a movie in my head and that’s genuinely the greatest compliment i could ever give — i felt like i was privy to a conversation that was so intimate between two people (suguru & reader) and i felt so CONNECTED to the writing and the emotions invoked through the writing! ari has such a beautiful way of showing the power of adoration/devotion within friendships/relationships and they just have such a strong GRASP on the characterizations of suguru depending on the vibes of the fic they’re creating. this fic especially talked about genuine feelings that people in their late teens/early twenties go through and idk i just felt so much better after reading it :’) all of ari’s writing invokes something in anyone who reads it, they truly have THE midas touch! <3 also i could add so many more fics underneath the fluff/sfw category but i highly recommend going through their masterlist and finding out for yourself how consistently amazing, thought-provoking, & gorgeously atmospheric their writing is! <333 definitely my favorite suguru writer on the planet 🫡 like genuinely just go through their entire MASTERLIST it’s ALL hits 🙂‍↕️

“metanoia” by @storiesoflilies — RAHHHHHHH okay for metanoia……….. if you have EVER read a lily fic you will KNOW how stunning her writing is. like you can’t help but just be so INVESTED especially because her love for toji shines through every word, you see the way reader talks about toji and fall in love with him AS you’re reading!!!! i think her grasp on his character is second to none in this fic especially for a younger toji — he’s shy & awkward & rough around the edges but at the end of the day, i think all he wants is love and reader is there to give it to him and vice versa :’) the beautiful ways that lily interspersed physics and romance………. when i tell you my JAW dropped. the quotes in this fic will have your mind reeling from how insanely good it is omfg… and YES the ending is a cliffhanger BUT she’s coming out with “hiraeth” soon and i was lucky enough to read it in advance and let me tell you………. you are in for a TREAT! ALSO PLEASE READ “CRIMSON REVERIE” IT’S REALLY AMAZING AND SO GORGEOUS <333 i love greek myth and then intersperse that with lily’s prose??? YAWPPPPPP

“i want to kiss you” by @arminsumi — okay i wanted to add this bc it is my favorite fic series of all time and i’ll tell you why… the absolute LOVE and ADORATION that satoru & suguru have for reader is astounding and the idea of a blossoming friendship between people from different cultures is so fucking precious… i genuinely have never read a fic w this premise/concept before and it is truly SO unbelievably beautiful :’) op does a WONDERFUL job of creating a soft, HUMAN atmosphere/friendship -> relationship between reader & satosugu :’) i can’t WAIT to read the next chapter hehe i truly recommend this fic series with every fiber of my being <333

[crazylittlejester]

HIIII YOU!! I hope you're doing sooo well, I just wanna send in an ask because I miss you. dearly. as I always do. I'm so sappy and I just feel so hurt seeing you hurt because no one should be hurting :((

small itty bitty adventure thing i guess but I went to the hospital yesterday for an appointment, got something in my arm which SURPRISINGLY didn't hurt or pinch this time?? weird????? but I was starving so my mom let me buy a jumbo pretzel and some chocolate so I was happy :3 (I could go on about how tasty pretzels are oh my god AND WITH THE CHEESE AHHHHH)

and then after school I met up with my mom and brother again to get some stuff for my brothers new job he's secured with some of the neighbors, it's so adorable that he's still young yet managing to help out people and earn money..... shedding a tear.... also big mention but places have christmas decorations already and oh my god they are soooooo cute ARGH I love shopping for decorations of any kind it's so fun and so silly to find all sorts of stuff

anyways that was all the interesting stuff that happened yesterday, I'm also going on a trip this saturday so hooray!!!!!! long ass plane ride here i come!!!! /sarc

hopefully this makes you a little more happy, you're always sharing your adventures with me and all the stuff that happens with you so I thought I'd share some of my own stuff with you too!! that is, if anything interesting DOES end up happening lmao

MAKE SURE TO STAY AWESOME AS ALWAYS AND I LOVE YOUU MY FRIEND!! /P

HI HELLO!! i miss you too, im sorry i haven’t sent an ask your way in a while, ive been so drained i haven’t had the energy to do anything. there’s been no adventures, i literally have gone a full month without buying gas because i just Do Not leave my house 😭

i hope ur doing good and that your arm is okay, AND ALSO SLAY DUDE, I LOVE PRETZELS. im devastated because 4 years ago they took the pretzel place out of the mall that was allergy safe for me and nothing on this earth has hit the same since so i’ve determined to try every soft pretzel in my area until i can find the best one aldkdkdk. i LOVE pretzels 🫶 so so much

ISTG THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS WENT UP AT MIDNIGHT NOVEMBER 1ST, how did they put up all the trees that fast 😭 where did the spooky things go they’re all GONE (i still have my spooky things out, i like my skeleton candles :3 )

dawg you travel so much thats so cool, i hope you have fun wherever you’re going!! i have the urge to go on a roadtrip once i have more energy (and gas in my car), adventure calls to me ✨

hearing from you always makes me happy dude, i love to hear you yap :) YOU STAY AWESOME AS WELL, AND TRAVEL SAFE. ILY MWAH /p

BTW I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH BLUESKY LAST NIGHT COS ID JUST MADE MY ACC AND YOU JUST POPPED UP AND I SCREAMED LIKE “OH MY GOD I KNOW THAT GUY?????” AT LIKE 3 IN THE MORNING, BECAUSE I LITERALLY DONT KNOW HOW SOCIAL MEDIA OTHER THAN TUMBLR WORKS (im stupid) AND I WAS JUST SCROLLING AND MESSING AROUND AND THERE YOU WERE AKSMDMDMDM

[osarina]

I didn't want to comment my reply again on the civilian dazai fic but OMG FYO IT WAS REALLY GOOD

I will say it deffo felt much light hearted and had a friday fellthan waterloo and even wykyk but I think that's cause the ✨️drama✨️ btwn them hadn't started yet and also the fact that I know they aren't doomed by the narrative (you) this time 💀

But I am liking the way it is going it already has me hooked and I am so very excited 😊 and God damn I LOVE love the reader so much. She's much more badass and ahhhh dazai is so cute and pathetic I lub him <3

Also fun fact after my 3 hour exam and after 2 sleepless nights, I did the exam well and came rushing home and held myself to read this awesomeness before sleeping for like 8 hours straight. When I woke up I read it again not in a sleepy haze to get the full experience XD that's how much I love your quality top notch fics

I think the reader's ability is a great and beautiful choice. It's not overpowering to change the plot or invite plot holes but powerful enough to impact everyday life. It really keeps me asking if the reader is using her ability on a certain situation or not and I really love that feature.

Anyways hope your life is going well 😊 and dont forget to eat healthily

P.s. : Do you have a fixed schedule to upload wasteland like waterloo or is it not fixed? And sorry for making the asks so long 😅

TUMBLR USER SILVERSNOW2000 HELLO MY LOVE I ADORE YOU, YOU NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING LONG ASKS I LOVE THEM

AHHHHHH I'M SO GLAD U ENJOYED IT ive had soooooo much fun writing civzai and pmreader. IT'S DEFINITELY MUCH MORE LIGHTHEARTED THAN ANY OF THE OTHER SERIES SO FAR but don't worry the drama starts in the next chapter LOLLLL and it doesn't slow down from there. THEY DON'T DIE THO i feel like i have to say this every time LOLLLLL

YESSSSS PM READER IS SO FUN TO WRITE like she's alwaysssss fun to write but it's particularly fun being able to write her from the viewpoint of dazai as a civilian who isn't like used to seeing her already. like she's very similar in the original universe but dazai has known her for so long there that he's become used to her yk, meanwhile this dazai sees her in a very fresh light if u get what i mean. it's the change in perspective that's so fun to write here

AND OMG IM GLAD - i was so conflicted about how to phrase/what to make her ability because i didn't want to make it too op but at the same time .. she's a port mafia executive, she needs to have a pretty notable ability, and then i was like wait ... her whole thing is politics and negotiations, so obviously it has to be something along the lines of fucking with ppl's minds/brains, but i needed to obviously whittle that down because mind control is just too ridiculous, so i got the idea of her being able to like induce emotions + states onto people BUT they're able to draw themselves out of it if they have the strength for it.

some things are easier to brush off, but other things aren't. like she can put people to sleep with her ability and they can't really drag themselves out of that because now they're sleeping, and inducing fear in particular is pretty hard for people to draw themselves out of because it spirals quickly. but for negotiations and stuff, when she's making them feel as if she's more trustworthy/more susceptible to taking bad terms, she has to be SO careful & calculated with her every word because any small thing could make them double take and jar them out of the induced state.

actually, in civzai universe, it's going to be really interesting because without dazai there to stop chuuya from using corruption, reader and chuuya had to figure out a way to knock him out of it themselves - which they DID and it involves her ability but it's SOOOO dangerous for her so they end up not really using corruption often. this actually comes up in the next chapter

i dont have a set schedule! i'm going to shoot for every other friday max though!

[candymay]

Man I have a whole rant about reality TV personality relevance and the dumbing down of society but I won't go there...

Tell me, what or who would you want to see on British vogue cover? Your blog asthetic is filled with such beautiful fashion.who is right now a fav?

well in term of representing the moment like i honestly dont need it to be intellectual or not "dumbing down" i just want something fun and fresh and real ab the culture. like the easiest example would b that it's clear it's the age of female pop girlies now (the rise of girls like sabrina carpenter chapelle roan or charli, and even.. lana? not saying shes new obv but shes back rising again). idk if uve seen charli's pics by david lachapelle for ny magazine - u can argue shes overrated or that 'brat summer is over' but u cant deny the impact and these pics ateeeeeee and we want more like gthese

also i think addison rae is fabulous and idc that she comes from tiktok n ppl who underestimate her r not above it lol. shes got it. insane team if uve seen the mv for her single diet pepsiiiii. that video gagged me tf out and i hsadnt been gagged in a while. creative directed by mel ottenberg (interview mag editor in chief) and directed by sean price williams (dir of the sweet east and dop of a bunch of safdie brothers' movies). shes cute shes fun and fressshhhh. so personally im just hugnrrryyy for a good collab between pop star-fresh CD/photographer-fashion. like it's not that hard so when i saw another kardashian cover it was soooooo embarrassing for all of us lol sorry it's knda long

[hellkitepriest]

sent @pliablehead an ask yesterday asking her to devise her ideal ee/duncles co-headline gig Experience (because its the end of august and we all need some frivolous wishful thinking) and now she wants ME to do it soooooo

my first and stupidest thought for a venue was the currently-empty pyramid on the outskirts of stockport (can you imagine. serving cult.) but honestly any "jeremy pritchard Patron Saint Of Dogshit Venues ass venue" as you put it is ideal. something where theres no actual barrier so you can stand right up against the stage. also to get tickets to this you have to have watched dave sardine at least five times im sorry "lads who know distant past from fifa" this one aint for you

goes without saying that all my friends from online and irl are there right at the front with me being annoying. god bless. /\

dutch uncles have to open with jetson again and then play just. all the bangers but ALSO accelerate and damascenes. "the duncan puppet is there and it’s probably jon doing it" really got me because yeah it WOULD be. robins hair is pink again. duncan is dancing like the fucking enter the mirror puppets as ever. they play bellio and i get directly called out about it.

ideally ee's set has a bunch of man alive stuff in there. they have to play qwerty they have to play my kz... they play photoshop handsome and jon does the "more dollar less scholar less time" actions from the 2009 mv. they're wearing the gth stuff again (they have to be you're right but also alex is wearing glasses please). the combined force of us all right in the front row yelling THE FRAGMENTS during s/s/w/d wakes alex robertshaw from his 38 year long slumber. they play software greatman (yes alex has his modular from the rdf tour again in this world I MISS HER) and then walk off and come back and do violent sun and no reptiles as an encore and we're all normal and unaffected about it. and then yes we all go to the pub afterwards because jonathan higgs and i need to drink black cherry white claws

also at some point everyone comes out and they cover fascination by alphabeat and it is absolutely a too-many-cooks situation with [checks notes] eleven people on stage but it's fine it's fun it's fresh

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hey!! It's me again. I'm pretty sure I'm becoming an annoyance at this point with how much shit I send you.

Speaking of shit🤣

(i swear on satoru's baby blues that this isn't sad)

https://youtube.com/shorts/7epVj4UcqTo?si=s9ce7J9yjhO5cU2S

The song playing is called tauba tauba. And women in India (and some men I'm sure) are going crazy seeing the hook step in the video. And because the main dancer (Vicky Kaushal) is very attractive.

The lyrics say "hussan Tera tauba tauba"

Translation: your beauty is mesmerizing (roughly)

Soooooo someone edited Gojo's face on it 🤣

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9glFS5owP-/?igsh=NzVpem42ZG13eTdh

I swear Indian weebs are hilarious 🤣

WHICH MADE ME THINK AS IM WRITING THIS?

Who do you think has got moves in the jjk universe? Like in physical paradox and another level? Like do they dance? Do they know how? How would rinko react to gojo dancing like this 🤣

Oh gosh 😂😂 btw you’re not an annoyance never call yourself that!!!

WHO HAS THE MOVES, YOU ASK??

The Lost in Paradise ending really did things to me. I like to imagine that if Rinko were in this ending, she’d have been groovin’ and maybe Gojo would twirl her around a bit. It would have been adorable, tbh.

In Physical Paradox, I’ve written Gojo a bit more reserved, so I think he still has some moves but has to feel comfortable enough in his environment, or the people he’s with, to dance.

How would Rinko react to Gojo dancing like in the video? 🤔 she’d think he was ridiculous but she wouldn’t be surprised that he’s good at it and that he’s super hot. She’d probably drool a bit but would definitely deny it.

Also, I’m so sorry that I took so long to answer this that the links no longer work 😭😭😭

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

hello! what is your ranking of the rv title tracks, im curious to know, unless you've posted it before im sorry 😭

hi! 🌟 oh my goodness i spent quite a while on this because i am TERRIBLE at ranking things and i also had a lot to say... but here you go! disclaimer that i genuinely love red velvet’s discography to pieces and even the songs that are ranked lower on this list are among some of my favorites. i also decided not to include their japanese singles, solos, subunits, or sm station releases to make things a little easier for myself. you may notice that chill kill does not feature on the list & that’s because it hasn’t been out for long enough for me to ascertain my feelings towards it just yet! okay soooooo with all that out of the way . here are my thoughts 🦢

russian roulette - ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. i got into red velvet immediately after hearing this back in 2016 & showed it to absolutely everyone i knew because i was so completely head-over-heels for it... i adore its playful synthiness and how bubbly and sweet their voices sound here, i LOVE its accompanying music video of course. when i think of kpop at its very best i think of russian roulette by red velvet!

automatic - i’m forever blown away by this song like it is literally perfect to me… smoldering, minimalist, effortlessly beautiful. i can’t believe they put this out so early in their careers, like genuinely what a feat. i love it so much

rookie - i feel like rookie is strangely underrated & i never understood why? it’s fun, it’s cute, it’s silly, it’s extremely loopable. really excellent instrumental imo and it shines even through their vocals… the strong bassline and brassy chorus in particular are highlights for me. also i think seulgi had a lot of fun this era in particular and it was so nice to see!

one of these nights - i absolutely love the creative direction of its music video & the song itself cemented rv as some of my favorite vocalists ever. easily one of their best title tracks, red or velvet. like it’s just perfect… melancholic and soulful and utterly magical

rbb (really bad boy) - i think this is one of their singles that best shows off their vocals… belting, shrieking, breathy whispering, chanting… the harmonization, the adlibs… so cunt, so interesting to listen to, so all over the place in the best way possible! no other group could have done it

umpah umpah - okay i personally feel that this is their best title track of the original festival trilogy in addition to their best summer single… never fails to lift my spirits, like it’s so joyful and unabashedly fun! i love that it sounds like it’s from a musical and i don’t mean that sarcastically at all

dumb dumb - literally one of the most unique kpop tracks like how many other songs can you think of that sound like this. still SO genuinely novel and exciting to listen to for its quirkiness and nonstop momentum that just builds and builds and builds

bad boy - very evocative of a particular moment in kpop but it aged like a fine wine! delicious to hear then & delicious to hear now… swaggering and silky and impeccably produced. i also think that the styling & sets for this music video were heavily imitated afterwards with songs of lesser quality from other groups. rv 🔛🔝

be natural - SO GOOD... sleek and sultry and understated. i also really love the way the music video is filmed and i think it belongs in the criterion collection. i’m ranking this a little lower than it deserves maybe by virtue of it being a cover rather than an original song and also because of taeyong’s rap

peek-a-boo - PEOPLE DIED. i feel like it’s almost impossible to listen to this without thinking of its music video—not at all a detriment because it’s a complete delight to watch. very catchy and clever and cool despite not being particularly upbeat. i feel like… again… it’s one of those songs where i can’t imagine a group other than red velvet putting out a comeback like this. it’s so them

feel my rhythm - love the structure of this song so much… brings together so many unexpected elements so elegantly. the noisiness caught me off guard a little bit when it came out but now i love the way they transition between the pots-and-pans quality of the verses and the orchestral ambience of the choruses. it really does feel like a frenetic, enchanting festival

power up - SO SILLYYYYY i’m a fan! i love songs with video game-inspired instrumentals & power up is one that’s fast and upbeat and summery and impossible not to dance along to. the japanese version in particular does something to my brain

birthday - i really did not like this when it first dropped but i enjoy it a LOT now… it feels like it’s building up to something it never really reaches but despite this i think it’s so catchy and bold & i love the sample the song is built around

ice cream cake - okay honestly very fun and i loved it back in the day but i don’t find myself listening to it a ton now... really enjoyed the collective blonde moment though & how ahead-of-the-curve they were with its noisy instrumentals!

queendom - i do think the lyrics can get a little corny and it’s not among their strongest title tracks, but it’s cute and easy listening vibes to me and there are some really wonderful vocal moments here and there!

psycho - good song but it was super overplayed a few years ago and it’s sonically not as interesting as their other singles. i know some people feel it’s their best but i don’t agree because i feel like i prefer songs with less muddied instrumentals. very quintessentially rv though, if that makes sense!

zimzalabim - was this a bad song… NO. do i like it that much… ALSO NO. the bridge is stunning though, one of their prettiest bridges ever, and i loved the satanism accusations that were flying around when it first dropped

red flavor - super popular, i know, and i do think it’s nice and nostalgic still, but i don’t feel it’s their best summer track and don’t actually listen to it all that much… oops. i love the twinkling sounds in the chorus but it has an empty and echoey quality to it at certain points that i find i’m not the biggest fan of

happiness - kind of a lackluster debut sorry... i do like the refrain and the pre-chorus though so the only time i ever seek out this song is when i wanna hear that bit... like yes joy! exactly joy!

[aita-blorbos]

(another oc/rp group thing… heh. assuming my friends will see this, I am so Sorry <33) (sorry if there’s too much colored text btw, I can send another ask without it if needed)

AITA for being, weird, I guess ?

so I (?? ??) am a god. pretty much. I guess im god’s friend but I still have, immense power, or something!!!! anyway there’s this one mortal guy, ok? (adult, he/him) now this guy. He’s a fucking loser. a real fuckup of a man. but unfortunately for both of us. I really like him.

it was kinda funny actually. i kept anonymously flirting with him to boost his ego and whatnot and for fun, plus doing that lets me pretend it’s ironic. id also openly chat with him a bit, but not like that. so he knows me, and then he knows this weird anonymous person—I don’t think he thought the flirting was genuine, though, seemed like it was joking. I, did absolutely fucking not want him to find out it was me, for the sake of my nonexistent reputation.

but then.

THEN I had an opportunity. he is fucking high. as im anonymous again, being weird, he threatens to stab me, I joke that I want him to (“promise??” typa thing, yeah?) i probably wasn’t joking . I keep pushing, so does he! he says he will do it.

so, I do something stupid! I take off that mask and I say id like to see him try! because he knows, I am a god, he wouldn’t try it.

I think it freaked him out, hehe~ !!!

so. what comes next, hahahahahahahah, isn’t important but uhhhh later i was being uncomfortable again and told him to get on his knees and beg and it was a whole thing and, long story short, he hated me!!!!

that was short lived since I made it very clear I wouldnt leave him alone. because he CANT LEAVE ME!! HE DOESNT HAVE A CHOICE. and I need him. I wouldn’t let him leave. so, he had to accept it!!!!!

soooooo, we are chill enoughhhhh, for a while, until I was bored and decided to be weird again! not just, romantic weird, I think this went beyond flirting hahahah.. and it made him!! very uncomfortable!! so OBVIOUSLY I kept doing it! (for the record, this is all contained within tumblr asks!!) then he started to ignore me so it wouldn’t, matter, but then!! THEN!!!! it got interesting! he was mad at me!

really mad at me.

long story short he told me to, die!! A lot!!!!!! he was very loud about it as well!! it was funny. ..and kind of attractive, in fact.

we’re, chill enough once again now, and I’ve been more normal, for his sake! my shenanigans continue, but I am being ““respectful”” from now on! however, though I don’t regret it at all,

aita ?

[notlongtolove]

IM BAAAACK

i opened up a leftover wine bottle from new years and reread like a lover!!!!!

"They played ‘Dancing Queen’ tonight," you venture, voice tentative. He knows it’s your favourite.

literally THEE abba song they make me proud to b swedish

You head to the bathroom without a word, your movements jerky as you swipe at the remnants of your makeup. You grab your moisturizer, fingers fumbling with the cap. A sharp tug and it goes flying out of your hands, clattering to the floor.  - "Oh, for fucks sake," you interrupt, throwing your hands up. The movement makes you sway slightly, and you hate how it only seems to prove his point.

what really struck me with this fic in particular is you write being drunk really well! there's no slurring of words in the dialogue or weird giggling that would have been really obvious, but the things you chose to highlight really feel like what it's actually like. the small stuff, like something slipping out of your hand, is when you actually understand that you've had too much and it's always such a mortifying feeling, which you really captured!!

"God, you’re being so—" "So what?" he interrupts, his voice rising as he steps closer. His eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. "So concerned? So worried? So—" "So fucking mean!" - You hate how unfamiliar he feels, hate the part of you that wonders if you’re the one who brought this out of him.

i LOVE L O V E when fics are honest about how mean spencer can be. he's a total sweetheart and so soft and lovely but he can be so cruel and dismissive and completely bitchy if he wants to be. it makes the arguments so much more real and true to his character when you allow him to be mean! he would be! he's just a person!

i could really hear every one of his snarky remarks in his voice, i feel like you capture spencers way of talking

Spencer’s expression darkens, his gaze narrowing. "Nothing?" He scoffs. "Tell that to Nina Radha. To Caroline Wrenley. To Mindy Denver. They were all ‘just waiting for a ride home’ last week. And now? All abducted. All dead." - "I know you’re scared. How do you think I feel every time you go out into the field?" You take a deep breath, and say bitterly, "I get it." 

again such an important thing for me with hurt comfort and argument fics, that is makes sense! of course he would be overly worried about stuff like this considering his job, of course he would lash out from fear! and of course nobody wants to be talked to that way, of course you'd be upset! both sides have valid points because sometimes arguments are like that! whenever they're both in the wrong and right it just hits soooo much harder for me and gets me so much more invested

But knowing he’s the reason for your tears tonight? That’s pain in its most visceral form. It’s failure in its purest state. - He knows it’s not enough, but it’s all he has left to give.  - All you see is regret, raw and heavy. And something else, something softer. Love. He reaches out, and this time you don’t pull away. Just getting to touch you is a brief, bittersweet, blinding relief.

these three lines just really turned me to a puddle on the floor like??? he's soooooo i wish spencer reid was real thank you for giving us the next best thing T-T

"S’not nice," you murmur against him, your words muffled. "I know, I know," Spencer whispers, his fingers tracing slow, soothing circles along your back. You let out a shaky sigh, sinking further into his embrace. “Was awful, wasn’t it?” he says, quietly. - "My sweet girl," he says quietly, almost to himself. 

GOD ASDFGH siri play that should be me by justin bieber

(sorry this got insanely long i just rly rly love this fic <3)

yassss nth like a wine and fic night *duck smoking saying haha classic sticker*

hey now don’t mind me im jst sOBBING yay yay yayyyy i love that you loved ittttt <3 <3 <3 i reread this at least 3 times smiling like a fool you’ve single handedly gave me enough motivation to work on the hurt comfort i shelved for the night auGHH thank u smmmmm!!!! (n yes spencer reid is so sassy man apocalypse when he wants to be!!! i hate him in fact jk i need that man like no other plsssss)

[that-one-banger-of-a-rhcp-song]

M'lady (chapter one?)

It truly was a beautiful day, and one y/n l/n was feeling terrible. Today, their alarm didn't go off, so they had to stumble out the door without coffee, their phone hadn't been charging the night before, they stepped on their cat Coco, AND their best friend (and crush) Aidan was late, meaning he couldn't brighten their day in first period. The two only had four periods together, (which is considered a lot, but not in y/n's eyes) first math with Mr. Munns, second choir with Mrs. Beu, lunch(after fifth), sixth science with Ms. Chambrose and eighth exploratory/poetry with Mr. Loomis.

    In consideration for their dear friend, y/n took notes for Aidan. When he showed up just in time for second period, they gave him the notes. "Why so late, Pretty boy?" 

"I missed the bus," he said, chuckling, he liked that nickname.

"Bus boy," they muttered, getting ready for warm up. Mrs. Beu hadn't assigned seats, but sopranos, altos, and men were expected to sit within their parts. So, naturally, the two sat next to each other. 

                                         Lunch

“It really is beautiful today,” Leo said, looking at the clouds.

“Mhm” y/n said trying to turn up the brightness on their phone, using Aidan as a shield so teachers couldn’t see.

“Y/n,” Aidan sighed, “We keep saying this is a bad idea.”

“Oh, it is” they replied, “I know it’s against the rules, but-”

“Sharing earbuds with Aidan is the most important part of the day, yada yada,” Eren piped up.

“It is!” y/n cried, “It’s three in the morning,” They sang, putting a wireless earbud in their ear and handing one to Aidan.

“And I’m tryna change your mind,” he finished, taking their earbud.

Some people thought Aidan and y/n were dating as much as the two liked each other, that wasn’t the case. Y/n often pondered if they were together, they held hands sometimes, sent good morning and goodnight texts, shared earbuds, and just did ‘couple things’ in general. But I tell Leo and Eren I love them, they always thought, trying to stop thinking about it.

“Soooooo” Eren started. “What do y’all wanna do?”

“I don’t care,” Leo responded,

“MMhhmmm?” y/n hummed, shrugging.

“I’m okay with anything really,” said Aidan.

“HELLO!” Yelled Kenny, behind the group, scaring them all. Y/n was so startled, they punched Kenny in the stomach, resulting in him crumbling to the floor, and y/n showering him with apologies.

“THEY KILLED KENNY!” exclaimed Leo.

“BASTERD!” Screamed Eren. The group stopped, before everyone but Aidan burst out in laughter.

“W-what?” The confused boy said timidly.

“It-” y/n was interrupted by their own giggling, “It’s a southpark thing.” Aidan had seen two total episodes of south park, the one where Mr. Maki gave the kids weed and got fired, and the human centipad episode. Long story short, he turned off the TV and never looked at south park again. And yet, it still haunted him.

A/N i dont know what im doing it started ok but now idk how im going to tie in plot im sorry lol