#this got out of hand but I had fun
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sunseed-fandump · 3 months ago
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I need more backstory on bad batch wizard!! What do you mean my baby boy was almost devoured 😭
(Also totally not cus he's my fav and im biased to want more content of him no wayyyy 👀💧)
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(An old picture sits in Vampire Cookie’s desk drawer. A reminder of a happier time, back when he and his sister used to live in a place very far away…)
Tell me, what are you willing to do for the sake of survival?
When Wizard was first baked, he was lucky he got away when he did. The life powder in his body had kicked in very late. When he awoke, it wasn’t to crackling flames, burnt cookies, and oven walls; he woke up on a plate, the only cookie in his batch to have come alive at all, stuck under the weight of inanimate dough. He didn’t even fully comprehend what was going on until the entire pile had shifted from the Witch taking one of the cookies from the top, offering him a wonderful view of her biting off its head.
He panicked, kicking and flailing in an attempt to free himself and run. The hard porcelain beneath him, the crushing weight above him, and the looming threat beyond that was all too much. He didn’t even know his own name yet and he was already afraid of losing what little life he had.
His struggles had caused the pile to shift slightly, gaining the Witch’s attention. Before she could discover him, the sound of glass shattering and the cat screeching heralded the arrival of a blessing in disguise. With the Witch preoccupied, Wizard was able to wiggle his way out from under the pile and flee to safety.
Like I said, he got lucky.
He wandered the Castle alone for a time, piecing together an identity for himself as he went. However, he didn’t discover his love for knowledge until he stumbled across the Witch’s library. With every book he read, (and he taught himself how to read very very quickly) he understood things a little bit better. The world around him suddenly seemed less scary. Those stringy things in the tunnels? Just cobwebs. Strange-looking shadows? Just a trick of the light. The thunder that crashed beyond the castle walls? A by-product of lightning from the expansion of rapidly heated air. Simple!
Then he found the magic books and Wizard discovered a whole new thing about himself.
He loved magic. He loved the very concept of it. He loved the idea of being able to use it. He wanted to shoo away the cobwebs by conjuring a gust of wind. He wanted to illuminate the shadows by creating light from nothing. He wanted to call the lightning from the heavens and have the thunder clap at his command.
(He wanted - needed - a shred of control over his own fate, lest the Witch find him.)
So he studied, and he practiced, day in and day out, using twigs and common quartz as foci. They weren’t strong, and would break if he tried anything too advanced, but he managed.
Then he met Alchemist Cookie.
At first they didn’t think much of each other. Wizard preferred the Arcane Arts while Alchemist stuck with her potions and elixirs, both considered their chosen path to be superior to the other. Yet, after a few encounters, the two found companionship in one another. It was refreshing finally being able to meet someone just as passionate about magic. It was thrilling to engage in academic discussion and not have to be met with blank confused stares. They became friends.
She introduced him to other castle residents who were just as passionate about magic. She was willing to share her lab with him so he could practice in a safer environment. She showed him the safest paths through the castle walls and all the settlements to find the best reagents. He was very lucky to have met her.
And then came the day his luck ran out.
If you were to ask the two of them whose idea it was to sneak into the Witch’s Lab that day, Wizard would blame Alchemist, while Alchemist would blame Wizard. The truth is, neither of them remember, and by this point it doesn’t matter.
The rarest reagents and best supplies in the castle could be found in that lab, but while Alchemist had plundered the cabinets, Wizard had found something of interest in a display case. A staff, relatively simple in design, with dragon wings carved from amethyst, and a small flickering azure ember hovering above it. Despite his better judgement, despite knowing the Witch would notice such a thing going missing, despite the red flag of repressing runes surrounding the artifact, Wizard Cookie took the staff.
The minute his little hand lifted it from its display, the tiny ember burst into a strong flame and a bright blazing eye slid open. Wizard had been scared at first, almost putting the staff back, but then it spoke to him. It thanked him, it told him it had been trapped for so long, its last master had been killed and it had been waiting for a new wielder worthy of its powerful secrets ever since.
It asked if Wizard would like to know those secrets…
But before the boy could give the staff his answer, Alchemist Cookie had returned from the cabinets. She scolded him for being so reckless and told him to return the staff where he had found it, but Wizard refused. After all, if this staff was as powerful as it boasted, perhaps it could be used for the good of the cookies back home? Besides, the other scholars would probably love to study it. It was such a good find!
Alchemist eventually relented, and the pair left the lab, reagents and staff in hand.
They didn’t know that they were being followed.
When they had returned to the settlement nestled in a crawlspace, the two were wholly unaware of what else they had brought back with them until it was too late.
The Reaper, one of the Witch’s faithful servants created from a hollowed out pumpkin and vines, had followed them back home. She, like the other familiars, had been tasked with capturing the sweetest creatures they could find, especially Cookies. She descended on the town with ruthlessness, spreading seeds that grew into brambles and swinging her scythe with deadly grace.
The town was in complete chaos. The militia scrambled for control, spells did nothing as The Reaper grew back whatever damage was done to her plant-composed body too quickly, nobody could escape because the town had been sealed in by the thorns. That did not stop Wizard and Alchemist from trying to find a way out or helping the other desserts hide while searching for Alchemist’s brother, Vampire Cookie, to make sure he was safe.
Unfortunately, the Reaper found them first.
Two of the many vines that made up her body had caught them, plucking them up like a fresh harvest.
“Oh goody, more cookies!” The Reaper had said with a cackle, but then paused and raised them higher for closer inspection. “Wait... Oh, I know you two! You’re the little thieves I followed! I’m sure The Witch will reward me handsomely when she finds you on her plate tonight!”
Now, as a plant, the Reaper had no need for real food. All of her sustenance came from planting her roots into soil and absorbing whatever sunlight filtered in through the castle’s windows. Because of this, her large empty head was used as a prison for whatever creatures she caught. It was a perfectly harmless holding space. Wizard knew this, of course, because he had done extensive research into as many of the Witch’s minions as he could. (Unlike the cobwebs, shadows, and thunder, the more he learned, the scarier they became.) Despite this knowledge, however, when the Reaper had raised him to her mouth in order to stash him away inside her head, Wizard felt a terribly violent spike of fear for his own life.
His first memory had returned to him, unbidden. The vision of the Witch biting the head off of a cookie flashed in his mind, and that combined with his fear, caused the irrational thought of “I am going to die. She is going to eat me.”
And then the staff, still clutched tightly in his hands, spoke to him once again.
It told him it could save him. It told him it knew a spell that could stop the Reaper once and for all. He needed only to ask, and it would happily whisper the words into his ear. After all, it would hate to see Wizard wind up on a plate like its last master.
All Wizard had to do was listen closely…
The words of the spell felt vile on his tongue, but the Azure Flame Staff assured him that he would get used to it. He was mere inches from the Reaper’s face when the blue flame at the top of the staff burst.
A massive inferno consumed the Reaper and soon the flames spread to the brambles. The force of the explosion had shook the foundation and support beams, causing the old castle stones to collapse which resulted in a cave-in that buried some of the town.
It was complete and utter devastation.
Wizard and Alchemist had been flung from the Reaper’s grasp when she flailed around in a desperate attempt to put the fires out. The azure flames ate away at both her plant-like body and the magic that fueled her life-essence. It was a weirdly beautiful sight, though Wizard didn’t have a chance to see what became of her as he and Alchemist crashed into a fountain, the water just barely broke their fall.
They hauled themselves out of the fountain, soaking wet and trembling, but alive. They were alive. Wizard had done it. He finally had the power to change his fate however he wished. He’d done it!
Laughter had bubbled out of his chest at the revelation, the hand that wasn’t clutching the staff had flown up to his hair. (He had lost his hat in the fall. Pity.) All the stress and fear melted into an emotion he couldn’t quite describe, but it gave him butterflies in his stomach and a lightheaded feeling that just made everything suddenly seem so funny. He could barely contain himself as he leaned back against the edge of the fountain and released all that pent up emotion through cackling laughter that could only just barely be heard over the sounds of crackling blue fire.
“I did it!” He had said with joy in his heart. “We’re safe, Alchemist, we’re–!” But his joy melted into concern when he looked over to his friend. Where he had been expecting her to be just as relieved and happy as he was, he saw fear.
It took him a moment to realize that it was directed at him.
“Alchemist?” His brow furrowed.
“Wizard…” Alchemist began slowly. “Put the staff down.”
The staff almost seemed to hiss at her suggestion, and Wizard found himself clutching it tighter. “Why?”
“Please, I just need you to trust me, okay?” She slowly got to her feet, approaching him like one would a scared animal.
With the Reaper no longer an immediate threat, the townscookies had begun leaving their hiding places in favor of getting the inferno under control. The square was suddenly full of noise, cookies shouting orders and rallying others to shift through the rubble. Wizard didn’t hear any of it as he stared at Alchemist with confusion.
“But, Alchemist, it’s fine. See?” He held it up and she cringed away, as if expecting him to cast that same explosive spell at her. Why did she think he would hurt her? They were friends!
“Th-That’s great, now put down the staff.” Her insistence made annoyance flare up in Wizard’s gut. They had just escaped certain death and this was what she was focusing on?! He wasn’t a threat, so why was she acting so weird? She knew he’d been looking for a strong foci for a while now, so why was she trying to take the staff away from him?
Wizard narrowed his eyes. “... No.”
“What?”
“We finally have a means of defending ourselves against the Witch and her minions and you want me to just let it go?” The boy rose to his full height, taking a step forward (and ignoring her taking a step back).
“Wizard, that thing is dangerous!” She flung her arms out to the side, gesturing at the burning town all around them. Wizard scoffed.
“I have it under control!” He didn’t, but that wasn’t important right now.
“You call everything that just happened control?! You just killed one of the Witch’s familiars and buried half the town!” Alchemist was getting visibly hysterical, but Wizard was too angry to notice. She was treating him like a child! He knew what he was doing!
“I just saved your life! A ‘thank you’ would be nice!” He put a hand on his hip, offended at the lack of gratitude.
“Thank you? You want a thank you?! There are cookies buried under there, some of them might have even crumbled, and you want me to THANK YOU?! My brother is over there and–!” She stopped short, as if surprised by the words that had come from her own mouth. The color drained from her face as realization set in, her eyes were wide and she spoke with a soft trembling voice, “Vampire Cookie….”
She had spun on her heel, anger towards Wizard forgotten in favor of fear for her brother. “VAMPIRE COOKIE!”
“I’ll help!” Wizard’s own anger simmering into concern over the lax cookie’s well-being. Yet he was stopped by a spear impacting the ground in front of him.
“I believe we’ve all had enough of your ‘help’,” spat the militia-cookie who had gotten in his way before he extended a hand toward the boy. “You’re under arrest for use of dark magic. Come quietly.”
“Wha–?!” Wizard jumped back, looking from the armored cookie to Alchemist Cookie’s back. “You-You can’t be serious! You’re joking, right? It was just the one spell, how does that make me a criminal?! Alchemist, tell him he’s wrong! Alchemist!”
The girl said nothing for a long moment, refusing to look at him. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides. When she finally spoke it was a whisper, “Leave…”
Wizard cringed as if he had been struck. “B-But–”
“I said LEAVE!” She whirled around on him, tears and fire in her eyes. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”
Wizard Cookie felt numb. This couldn’t really be happening could it? He had just defeated the monster attacking the town, and now they were treating HIM like the monster! All he did was cast a spell! A spell that saved them from the Witch’s dinner table!
“HAS EVERYONE GONE CRAZY?!” Wizard snapped. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU–AH!”
A stone had gotten thrown at his head, and it was only now he realized the scene had amassed quite an audience.
“The only crazy one here is you!” shouted one of the cookies in the crowd.
“What were you thinking?!” cried another.
“This is so much worse than what the Reaper would have done!”
“Get out!” Another stone was thrown, which Wizard was able to avoid this time.
The boy began to feel overwhelmed. Despair settled in his gut and made it feel like heavy stones had been tied to his feet as he looked around at all the cookies who were angry at him. He gave one last pleading look to Alchemist, who stared at him with a cold look.
Without another word, she turned her back to him and left.
Wizard scrambled back when a few more militia-cookies began advancing on him. Outnumbered and heartbroken, he fled. The militia probably would have caught him if the staff hadn’t whispered a teleportation spell into his ear, which he used without a second thought.
And the minute he left town, the azure flames blew out.
Wizard was on his own for a while after that. The experience made him bitter, especially when word spread throughout the castle of a cookie of his description practicing the forbidden arcane. A menace, a mad wizard, a twisted child who could destroy a whole town and laugh about it. He hated those rumors. He despised the vile things everyone said about him, especially since most of it wasn’t even true! But nobody asked for his side of the story. They only ever pointed and called him a monster!
And after everything he’d done for them…
Did they expect him to have just let himself be taken and eaten by the Witch? Did they want him to just rely on luck like everyone else? Did they want him to just accept whatever fate the Witches designed for him?! No, he refused. He wanted to live. He wanted to learn. He wanted to paint his own destiny and leave a mark on the world that no one would ever be able to erase.
Wizard Cookie did not want to be lucky, he wanted to live.
So, I ask again.
What are you willing to do for the sake of survival?
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shriika · 1 year ago
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katerina watched this thang crawl out of an open grave and said is anyone gonna adopt that
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fafodill · 14 days ago
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not an ask but just wanted to tell you that I spent 2 hours scrolling your blog and I love your insights your drawings your reblogs so much. the crackfic posts had me wheezing and the sev analyses had me thinking. you make my internet bill worth paying.
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If I stop posting you know what happened to me guys
See the incriminated art piece here
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llemon-soda · 2 months ago
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the comfortable warmth of a beating heart
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close up...
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welcometogrouchland · 4 months ago
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my Stephanie Brown hot take is that she should get mad bitches now that she's single in comics. Yes yes shipping BUT the one time she had sex she was punished by the narrative via teen pregnancy. I think she should be allowed to have as much sex as she wants with zero consequences. Could be a lot of sex, could be a little. Point is she should get to do it without getting narratively baby trapped this time. she should get them pregnant, actually.
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#this is a joke post but it also. isn't#like. i understand that what I'm asking for is a very slippery slope especially in the hands of the average comic writers (hates women sm)#but consider that i think it would be neat if female characters in the batmythos had sex lives again...#babs was out here having cybersex with ted kord in the 90s! helena had sex! black canary had sex and was kinda a gotham chara back then!#cass is generally more interested in justice than in sex and i abide by that#(tho user @casscain-mainly has great meta diving into the portrayal of cass' sexuality! good read and was on the brain while typing this)#steph however? canonical sex haver and got done dirty for it#like. personally i prefer to imagine that steph having sex with dean was 100% her choice#idk man she just felt like it! she wanted to bone#and maybe there's other factors at play there- Dean is by all accounts deeply unpleasant as a person so no doubt-#-stephs chronic low self-esteem played into her choice of man here#but again i like to imagine that it was all sane and consensual (tho not safe which again. lots to ponder there-#-like ik dixon was NAWT thinking abt this at the time but Steph's mom is a nurse. a semi-absent nurse but a nurse nonetheless)#(i find it hard to believe that Steph didn't have a basic sex education. meaning it was either a freak accident she got pregnant-#-or a wildly ooc decision on her part. OR some kind of outside pressure put on her by someone/something)#(we'll never know bc dixon hates me personally)#BUT ANYWAY yeah Steph has some kind of canonical sex drive and is just. soundly punished for it#and then she's with Tim (Paragon of Male Virtue in Dixons eyes) so no sex whatsoever no no no ☝️#and she's never had a seriously considered love interest outside of Tim to ever consider having sex with#ALL THIS TO SAY. let Steph have sex again but without the narrative punishment in 2025#if this is what it takes to get her back in bat books so be it#also she should get to hook up with some age appropriate fellow heroes. as like fun one offs#who's in her age range? blue beetle (jaime)? circuit breaker? assuming we're trying to make this canonical and (sigh) can't pull women#I'm blanking on men who aren't vaguely too old/young for steph or gay. or just awkward (i.e like. kon el. that'd just feel weird yknow?)#ANYWAY yeah. Steph Brown stud era
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apologetic-artist · 4 months ago
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Colin photos because I loved my outfit for today and wanted to take some pictures hehe :3
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This one is my favorite :D
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Anyway, I got this awesome recliner chair yesterday, which is fun
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crandairy-juice · 10 months ago
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fanart for @yellowocaballero ‘s roleswap au. reminding me of my highschool love for kakaobirin
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crooked-jett · 1 month ago
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Finding the headmasters stash. (Bonus under the cut)
A lighthearted version and an angsty version.
There are 3 types of drunk shown here
Louis: Sleepy (couldn’t keep up)
Violet: Sad (guilt from her drunk of a father)
Clementine: I drink to forget but I always remember (recovering alcoholic)
You can thank @voltstone for that one ⬆️
BONUS ❤️⬇️
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kamabokobun · 9 months ago
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A sculpture I made of my slug fakemon starter :]
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soveryanon · 3 months ago
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What about eating your own beanie, Mr Clown.
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EAT YOUR OWN BEANIE
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alackofghosts · 3 months ago
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text from justice league/hitman (issue 1) by garth ennis
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aquanutart · 7 months ago
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She is offering water to any lost travelers! However, it's so hot that the water has become tea, so she's adjusted accordingly!
#neopets#neotag#neoart#kiko#slorg#aquanutart#this was for a western themed beauty contest last year! it was very fun! :D i'm so happy we were able to be part of it!#and by 'very fun' i mean it's completely exhausting and i can only handle participating once or twice a year#but it is very exciting too! she gave tea to everyone who stopped by. she was very happy to be able to help so many visitors!#i actually forgot until i checked whether this was from one or two years ago... my sense of time as an adult is --- *waves hand vaguely*#i'm so sorry for all the messages i didn't answer. specifically to the user who sent me a really kind message out of the blue#about how they got the slugawoo avvie from my quiggle's lookup. i didn't even know you could get the avvie from his lookup#so i was very happy to find out!! and i was happy there might be more people getting the avvie from his lookup i didn't know about#and i wanted to tell them how absolutely happy it made me and my brain said ' you should respond to this right away or you won't do it'#and i thought you fool. of course i'll make sure to do something this important#and i kept thinking about it for the past year and thinking i will do it. i will do it#but when i thought about writing the words that were floating in my mind the whole time i would feel blocked#this happens all the time and i'm sorry. it really does make me so happy#and then they deleted all the neomails but thankfully i had it saved so i still was able to find their username and send a message thankyou#i'm very glad
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copia · 3 months ago
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top tip for new gif people because i've seen a few recently (which is really cool) - tumblr will compress your gif to a width of 540px when you upload it. this compression won't retain as much quality as if you just resize it to 540px across in photoshop/whatever program you use. tumblr will suck the life out of your beautiful crisp 1080px gif whereas photoshop will do its best not to (resizing in vapoursynth or similar is ideal but that's not necessary and often too much effort for adults with real lives)
#i learnt all of this during covid as a teen with a sunday job so that's why i could afford to care#also 540px is if you've got one gif per row#2 gifs per row should be resized to a width of 268px each#and 3 per row is 177px - 178px - 177px#height doesn't matter#you can google tumblr gif dimensions for a diagram but there are a few from before they increased the width in photo posts so lots of#conflicting info there#these are the correct ones#it's personal preference whether to resize ofc but the vast majority of people do#also whilst i'm yapping here#photoshop can do stuff that other software or online platforms can't#obviously use whichever one you prefer or have access to - it really doesn't matter#the more gifs the better#yay#but if there's something you've seen other people do that you can't figure out#and you're not using photoshop#chances are the other person is.#there are good alternatives like photopea but that still doesn't quite match ps#saying this bc i had a small phase of being quite discouraged as a 17yo md/zs fan from looking at all the online options and realising that#none of them had the capabilities to create the kind of gfx that i saw other people making and wanted to try out myself#ofc there's a learning curve too and LOTS to get wrong then try again but there is also the insurmountable difference between ps and#online alternatives. i hope it doesn't put people off from trying#keep at it with whatever program you've got your hands on#and if you really want photoshop. well. cough 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️ cough#excuse me what was i saying#i cant remember bye have fun
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iiiumihottie · 2 years ago
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[Image description in alt text.]
:D
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mc-tummy-blur · 4 months ago
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This is what being down bad does to a man I do another Hans Gruber drawing but meticulously paint the scene redraw
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see how you can help the people of Palestine
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sysig · 6 months ago
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Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ♥ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows ♪#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
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