#this goddamn show was basically just poetry

[inkedells]

pairing: old!logan x f!reader

Logan is sick and tired of you treating him like he's fragile. He'll ignore his relentless pain to show you what it's like to be taken apart, rough and slow, then fast and agonizing.

wc: 3.5k of pure smut

warnings: heavy smut, lap sitting, fingering, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), dirty talk, facials, p in v, ruined orgasms, snowballing, kind of angsty, the claws come out, logan is angry with you, kinda toxic, definitely mean, but still kind of sweet, pwp basically, blood, but it's not bloodplay, it's just logan not caring if he's hurt, if i missed any let me know.

Logan comes home and throws himself back on that torn-up leather sofa, thumb flicking his lighter while the other holds a cigar. It’s less of a distraction from the ache in his bones, and more of a device to push you away. Because if you think he’s tired or angry or hurting, you won’t ask him to fuck you.

It’s not like he doesn’t want you. Of course he does. It’s the sympathy in your eyes when he gets tired from just a couple of minutes of thrusting that he hates. The whispered, “It’s okay. baby, I can ride you.” The gentle touches across his body and his neck and his face and his beard. It all reeks of pity. And if you were to sit him down one day and ask him why he hates being taken care of, he wouldn’t have an answer. He would push the voice in his head down into the void that all the strength he had left fell in, the voice shrinking until it’s nothing as it screams, because I’ve never been taken care of, and I would’ve loved it back when being taken care of wasn’t my only choice.

But it’s fine. You wouldn’t ever ask him that question because he knows for a fact that you don’t know. If you did, you wouldn’t be climbing onto his lap quietly, hands rubbing his sides as you press kisses to his neck.

“I missed you, Logan,” You whisper. Your hips aren’t moving; He knows he sat here like this to avoid fucking you, but he almost wishes you were seeking exactly that. Sex, as embarrassing as it would be for him, is better than your sick love. He doesn’t think you love in the way lovers do. It’s the kind of love meant for sick puppies, or the lonely old woman sitting on the bus with all her belongings in plastic bags.

He turns his head to take a drag of his cigar. Silence.

You hold his face, forcing him to look at you as you kiss him. Slow, chaste, no tongue. He feels scrutinized by your touches, and something nervous seats itself deep in his belly.

“How was your day?” You ask, your gaze snapping between his eyes.

Logan closes them. “I’m tired,” He says flatly.

“I know. It’s okay.”

There it is again. Pity.

He scoffs. It’s quiet. Barely there. He didn’t mean to. He watches your face fall the smallest bit. A year ago, he wouldn’t have noticed, and if he would’ve, he would blurt out an apology. Now, he does notice, but he secretly wants to watch it fall even further if it means you’ll realize how much you’ve been hurting him.

You swallow, your thumb rubbing his cheekbone. “I found an American poetry anthology in the basement today. 20th Century. My favorite poem was in it.”

He mumbles, “In a Station of the Metro. T.S. Elliot.” Remembering the poem you told him about months ago sounds too much like sorry. He wishes he’d pretended to forget.

“Ezra Pound,” You correct. Your smile tells him he’s forgiven for an apology he never offered. “If you can recite it I’ll be impressed.”

“I’m not reciting a goddamn poem.” He sounds sarcastic, and it relieves you, but then you kiss him and he’s wound tight again.

You sigh as you pull back. “What’s bothering you, baby?”

“Nothing’s bothering—”

“What’s bothering you?” You interject.

He shakes his head, clenching his jaw. He makes the decision to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of stopping this conversation. You never could resist an orgasm, especially one caused by him. “Enough of that.”

“What?”

But he’s putting out his cigar and lifting you off his lap with a suppressed grunt, then pushing you down on the couch.

“Logan,” You protest.

He continues undoing the drawstring of your pajamas, with a kind of slippery urgency that tells you he's trying to shut you up more than he's trying to satiate his own desire.

You sit up straight, swatting his hand away. “Stop.”

He withdraws immediately, breathing hard through his nose as he looks down at the floor. He was wrong, before, about you not knowing. You definitely know, because you don’t place a loving hand on his thigh and you don’t kiss his shoulder. He’s grateful.

Instead, you observe his profile, then the quiet tremor in his hand. The impossible stillness of the rest of him. He tends to do that when his nerves are on fire. Thinks being a statue is what people who aren’t in chronic pain do.

“Don’t do that,” He mumbles, feeling your eyes on him. “I don’t need you feeling sorry, or whatever—whatever the fuck else goes through your head when you’re around me.”

You say nothing. That’s the most he’s said about his feelings in a while. He knows it, so he forces himself to say nothing, too. It doesn’t last long.

“I’m not dying.” His voice cracks a little at the end and he fights the urge to squeeze his eyes shut.

“I know.” The words come out in a tumble, as if you’re rushing to participate in his lie.

“Then stop looking at me like I’m dying.”

“Okay.” Tears prickle your eyes but you blink them away.

“Okay,” He repeats.

You take a deep breath. “But it’s okay to be cared for, Logan.”

He laughs incredulously, and suddenly his volume is rising and his voice is firm. “Would you just—Would you just quit being my fuckin’ mommy? Would you?”

He only lets your silence marinate for a second before he rushes in to kiss you, ignoring the cramps in his muscles as he tugs your neck forward roughly. You squeak against his mouth, fighting his impossible grip on you, but you give up with a shaky exhale through your nose when your efforts prove useless.

“I can take care of you, too,” He grits out. It would sound sweet if it weren’t for the frustration in his tone. He pushes you onto the couch the same way he did moments before as he opens your legs by your knees and settles between them. He sucks a dark mark onto your neck, his fingers digging bruises in your ribs.

“I know you can,” You reassure him. You can see where this is going. “And I love when you do.” You gasp when he pulls your shirt up over the curve of your breasts.

“No. You don’t.” He pinches one of your nipples and sucks the other into his mouth for a brief second. “It’s okay. I’ll show you so you don’t forget again. You won’t want to get ruined any other way.”

“Logan,” You sigh.

He hums against the soft skin just underneath your breast as his hands ravage your body. He begins to unsheathe the adamantium claws in one of his hands so he can rip your top open. It’s slow and excruciating, so he closes his eyes, but the pain is over too soon and his suspicions are confirmed when he opens his eyes to see them stuck halfway.

You don’t expect him to lean back and individually tug each blade free. There’s blood, and now it’s dripping onto your belly, and he mumbles something that sounds like an apology as he wipes the dots of red away with his thumb.

But the hazel in his eyes is alive again. You hope it’s you that did that. Hope it’s not the pain or the sight of his own blood. You want to ask him, just to make sure. You don’t like hurting, right? You just really like me—

He slices through your shirt, careful not to graze your skin, and you try to ignore the fact that he’s never that cautious with himself, but you can’t.

“Logan, you’re bleeding.” Your voice is unstable.

“It’ll heal,” He says quickly, passively. He wipes his burning palm on his wifebeater.

“But that takes a long time now.”

He meets your eyes, his movements frozen. He’s angry and you’re not stupid. You’re pitying him again. He needs you to stop fucking pitying him. When he speaks, his voice is deep and rough and slow, and you would be scared if he wasn’t your Logan. “Are you done?”

You don’t know what to say, so you just close your eyes and nod. You hear his claws retract faster than when they came out, and almost simultaneously, he’s shoving that same hand under your waistband as two of his calloused fingers push themselves into your cunt.

You arch toward him involuntarily, a ragged moan falling from your lips as he tugs your pajamas off your legs and spits on your pussy to ease the slide of his fingers.

Each groan he pulls from your throat is a step toward dispelling the doubt from your body. Doubt of his capabilities, of his strength, of his devotion to you.

“Beg me to fuck you,” He demands, fingering you roughly.

Your mind is cloudy at this point, from sadness or arousal or both, but you give him what he wants. “Fuck me,” You whisper, your eyelids about to flutter shut as you shed a tear.

But then you catch Logan smiling.

He grabs your jaw with his free hand, and you look at him immediately. “You’re gonna let me use it, right? Get myself off?” You lazily trace his features with your gaze—His nose, his wrinkles, his beard—because you know if it were your fingers instead he’d mistake it for tenderness and get mad again.

You nod, but it’s weak with how hazy everything is.

“Good girl.” 

“Please,” You sigh, “I need you inside of me. I need to—I need it.”

“I know. I know what you’re feeling before you feel it.” He lets the pad of his thumb draw quick circles on your clit. “What? Thought I couldn’t hear you playing with yourself in the shower? If I can hear your heartbeat when I walk through the door, what makes you think I wouldn’t have heard you whining my name?”

“Logan,” You sigh, your hips lifting off the couch, coaxing his fingers deeper for as long as possible before he’s shoving you back down with the heel of his palm.

“I’m gonna play with you now. I’ll fuck you after, don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

“What do you mean, play with me?” You breathe, fighting to keep your eyes open as he finds your g-spot.

He grins dirtily, in a way that makes your head spin and your thighs clench around his hand. You’re barely processing his words as he bends down to mumble in your ear, “Right when you’re about to make a mess on my fingers, I’m gonna stop. Then I’m gonna go down on you. And I’m gonna lick your pretty pussy, maybe even fuck you with my tongue if you’re good. And guess what? Guess what I’m gonna do when you’re this close?”

“You’re gonna stop,” You whine.

“I’m gonna stop,” He nods, and it’s mocking, but it’s gentle, and he’s fucking killing you with the way he’s talking right now. “But I’m not mean. I’ll give you a break. You can calm down when my dick is in your mouth, okay?”

“Okay,” You breathe, your hips unabashedly grinding on his fingers. But you want to reassure him he is mean, and you especially want to tell him how much you love it. “Logan, I’m gonna—”

He withdraws his fingers from you so fast it almost burns. You clench around nothing, your lower half spasming as your orgasm barely approaches before falling away again. Only a hint of pleasure is able to make it through the cracks, and you cling onto it, hoping if you focus hard enough, the wave will come back. It doesn’t. You should regret warning Logan that you were about to finish, but all you feel is comfort now that he’s finally proud of you again.

Another tear streams down the side of your face, landing in your hair. Logan’s watching you as he pets your thigh, his lips parted when he leans down over you. He kisses your wet cheek softly, his beard rough on your skin. It’s unlike him to offer you affection this gracefully during sex. It’s always shaky limbs and suppressed groans and dirty kisses. Both of you know it. 

He moves down your body, until his face is hovering over your cunt. He doesn’t have his reading glasses on, so he has to pull his head back and squint as he spreads your folds with his thumbs, studying what you look like. He licks a stripe over you. A second, longer one, before he zeroes in on your clit. You can do nothing except lay there and take it as your hips twitch from overstimulation under his firm hands.

“Oh my god,” You whisper, your fingers twisting in his hair. “F-Fuck.”

He moans at that, pressed right up against you, the sound deep and delicious and vibrating. “Feel good?” He asks teasingly with a nip to your inner thigh.

“What do—What the fuck do you think?”

He breathes a laugh. It’s short and airy, not frustrated like before, and a warmth ignites itself in the back of your mind. It’s overpowering even the feeling of his mouth licking and sucking your most sensitive area; It’s the relief that he’s still hiding the Logan you fell in love with somewhere in there.

You wind your fingers in his hair and scratch his scalp. You try to do it lovingly, although it comes across as sexual and Logan’s breath hitches in pleasure against your pussy instead. So as you suppress a gasp from the pure skill of his tongue, you show your affection differently—you hold the wounded hand he has resting face-up beside your hip. The cuts embedded there are easy to avoid as your thumb rubs the lines of his palm, because even though you can’t see his hand, the puffiness surrounding each slash on his skin are your cues.

He doesn’t move his hand away, but his tongue falters for a fraction of a second before slowing down.

The kind of love you’re pressing into Logan’s skin with each gentle stroke is unrecognizable to him. It’s not the pitiful love he’s so used to. He thinks it might be the opposite. Admiration. Reverence.

“I’m so empty,” You whisper, bringing your hands to grope Logan’s biceps. They’re sweaty and hard and flexing under your touch, and you wonder if he would let you ride them one day.

When your climax starts to creep up on you, it’s thanks to the image of Logan forcing you to lick your arousal clean off his bicep. Indulgently swirling your tongue along his pronounced veins, savoring the taste of his sweat mixed with yourself. He’d probably say somthing like, fuckin’ filthy. Getting yourself off on my arm. Who does that? Are you that obsessed with me?

Logan feels you squeezing his tongue, harder than all the other times before, so he withdraws at the last moment, ruining your orgasm once again.

 You convulse silently, your breath coming out stuttered with your twitching jaw. As if he can read your mind, he unbuckles his belt and removes his pants and boxers. But he doesn’t strip himself of his wifebeater, stained with blood.

It’s the hottest thing in the world.

You blink, and suddenly Logan is hovering above you with his cock over your face. He rubs his leaking tip on your cheeks first, then your lips, and when you open your mouth to take him, he moves his cock away and nudges your jaw shut with his free hand, shaking his head.

“Not yet.”

A whine lodges itself in your throat as Logan spreads his pre-come over the plush of your lips. It escapes only when he lets go of his cock in favor of massaging his wetness across your lips and on your tongue with his thumb. His hard cock is bobbing above you, almost tantalizingly, the occasional drip of arousal landing itself somewhere near your eyes, then your hair, then your mouth, and you watch Logan’s brow furrow as you try to lick whatever you can.

His resolve snaps. A calloused hand squeezes at your cheeks until your jaw falls open. His cock is in your mouth before you can process it, thick and heavy and wet. So. Incredibly. Wet. You start to wonder how it’s even possible that he’s this hard at his age, but you know he wouldn’t want you to be wondering that, so you happily push the thought away.

You suck your cheeks in, swirling your tongue around his tip as you bob your head to meet the subtle, almost imperceivable thrust of his hips. You’re taking it well, you know you are. So you keep taking it, until Logan can no longer successfully suppress his moans and his hips are jerking out of rhythm.

He moves back until his cock slips out of your mouth. “I don’t wanna come like this. Wanna fuck you.”

“Yeah, yes. Fuck me. Please.”

He stands up and turns you on your front, your knees pressing into the soft couch cushions with your ass in the air.

“Logan,” You plead as you feel his tip pressing at your entrance.

“I’ve got you,” He says quietly, pushing in until half of his cock is comfortably squeezed by your cunt. Both your breathing is loud and labored, and there’s a specific kind of intimacy in knowing you’re both feeling this identical need. Overwhelming and hot and unquenchable by anything other than each other.

His first thrust is shallow, but it ruins you all the same. With how thick he is, it should feel like an intrusion, and it does. But all you can think about is how perfectly he fits inside of you, filling you extraordinarily with only a few inches.

“Fuck,” Logan breathes. “Look at that.” He traces around your entrance with his thumb. “Stretching so wide to take me.”

You moan, pressing your cheek against the sofa as you rock with his thrusts. He still hasn’t pressed all the way in yet, and you’re growing impatient. “Come on,” You urge, pushing yourself back to force more of his cock into you.

You expect him to chastise you for being so greedy, but he listens to you instead with a slow, full thrust. His tip nudges your cervix with how deep he is, and a ragged moan escapes you. “Yes,” You whine, “Oh god, yes.”

Logan’s breaths are coming out heavy through his nose, quick and occasionally intertwined with a grunt. His thrusts are getting quicker, and it’s starting to burn, but you welcome every sensation he has to offer you. He pulls out, spits on his cock, then shoves himself back inside, and this time you’re both unabashedly moaning the minute you’re joined again. 

His fingers dig in the plush of your ass as he observes himself disappearing into you. It hurts, but you love it. He knows you do, so he spanks you quickly before gripping you and rutting against you again.

“I love when you fuck me,” You whisper, feeling ashamed as soon as the confession leave you. “When you properly fuck me.”

He slows for a moment so he can watch his cock glisten with how wet you are. “I know.” He picks back up his punishing pace.

Your eyes begin to water, from pain or pleasure, you can’t tell. “I love you.”

“I know,” He repeats, this time breathier. His hips stutter. You can tell he’s close.

“I want it on my face,” You tell him quickly, his impending orgasm giving you no time to worry about being too forward.

He pulls out again, letting you turn onto your back as he shifts up your body. He jerks himself furiously, but you swat his hand away and take it upon yourself to stroke him.

“Come for me,” You tell him honestly, softly. His eyes squeeze shut and his lips part around a trembling exhale.

He groans as his release coats your face in long stripes. Some of it even lands in your hair, but you don’t care. Your own fingers work your clit as you stick your tongue out and taste him. Logan bends down to kiss you, chest heaving and hands shaky, and you rub yourself faster as you swap his release between the two of you with a hum. He pulls back to let you swallow, then he kisses your cheeks with his rough beard, uncaring about the mess on your face.

You don’t know you’re coming until it’s over and you’re breathless, and it’s almost excruciating with how much he’s ruined you, but you’re so exhausted you can’t find it in yourself to dwell on it a second longer.

You wrap your arms around his neck and tug him down for another kiss because you can hardly remember the one he just gave you.

“I’m sorry I had been treating you all wrong,” You say carefully.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” His voice is rough.

You nod, your lips brushing his as you smooth sweaty strands of hair away from his forehead. These touches are hard for him. Any variation of your chaste affection is a reminder that he’s not really Logan anymore.

But the shame in it is gone. Replaced by the reassurance that he can still surround you with safety and firm hands and blatant desire;

And for a moment, he’s his old self again.

A/N: it's been so long since i've written anything, but logan has been consuming my brain for weeks so i had to get this out. i hope it's true to his character. <3 also, my asks are open, so feel free to request anything you want to read about.

[bitethedevil]

Living with Raphael

Because I’ve seen so many people do “domestic bliss” posts and similar stuff about other BG3 characters and it made me think. I love him but I would rather go skinny dipping in the Styx than actually live with this man, because I believe he would be the shittiest roommate ever. Here’s why:

Micro-managing: You can’t do shit without his endless sneering and commenting on every tiny little thing you do and it’s all in the name or “keeping the order in his house”. In reality, it has nothing to do with order, it’s just that he has a very particular way of doing things and you’re supposed to just be able to read his mind.

His tantrums: I just know he’s just like his daddy. Calm and collected one second, and literally tearing something apart in unhinged anger the next. How do you know which mood he’s in? You don’t. He can sit quietly doing his business and a simple “how are you” will be enough for him to explode about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Endless yapping or total silence: You’re either forced to listen for hours about something or you literally can’t get him to talk because he’s in his own head. If it’s the former, he doesn’t even care if you don’t want to listen, he will make you listen and don’t you dare pull your attention away from him. If it’s the latter, you might get a “mm” or a ‘yes’ if you’re lucky, but he’s not listening regardless. If you’re unlucky, refer to point two.

Can’t fucking sit still for two seconds: he’s always doing something and it’s all hours of the day. He does not give an imp’s ass if you’re asleep if he decides it’s time to play a fucking symphony on the organ at three o’ clock in the morning. He’ll loudly recite poetry as well and it’s the same couple of verses again…and again…and again…”until it’s perfect”.

‘Mine’: (This is basically Raphael if you’re that age where you remember this show.) Nothing is ‘yours’ or ‘ours’, no no. You’re in his house, no matter how long you’ve lived there or even if you’re goddamn married. Everything is his (you included because you’re under his roof).

Mind games: This one is pretty obvious. Everything will be made into a manipulative mind game of some sort and it would be about the stupidest shit sometimes as well. He’s constantly playing 3D chess and I would resort to, not only eat the pieces to win, but also to maybe just throw the whole board away. Not dealing with your psychological torture, my dude.

Haarlep, I salute you 🫡 No one should be forced to live with him.

[justanothermarauderr]

OKAY LOOK AT

when I first started WATCHING the Harry Potter movies ( my attention span flew out the window when I tried to read when I was younger) I was watching like any OTHER person

yk pre-wattpad, pre-ao3, pre marauders, jegulus, wolfstar , Slytherin skittles ect

yk the simple days

BUT NOWWWWWW

FAMMMMM

i have read every fanfic i could find and one of my favorite tags other then sassy ( character name) and it was

#dumbledorebashing

OR #manipulativedumbldore

I LOVE IT

bcs then yall writers start writing how smarter Harry is or how much of a better friend Ron is or making Hermione less studious

and when everything else that are basically cannon at this point to me are added all together and add in all the dumbledore bashing

✨immaculate writing✨

with that being said i went from

“ oh dumbledore is so smart” “ what a cool headmaster” freaking #dumbldore4evah 😗✌️

to like

“ fck you albus” “ you manipulative bastard” “Mr. Light Wizard who happened to fall in love with A DARK LORD HIMSELF and couldn’t even finish the job” like instead of killing grindlwald like he should have he literally just entrapped him in a fckn tower like goddamn rupunzel

it pisses me off more when it’s a harry/ tom fanfics bcs he had the audacity to be telling harry how “ tom is the dark lord” “ he’s a monster that doesn’t feel love”

mf you was lucky that tom riddle didn’t feel love or else your ass would have been swimming with fckn inferi rn for all the shit that you did to harry

anyways

yall get it, I’ve developed a … dislike towards albus however many names this faka have dumbledore

SO

after getting back and now stuck in this seemingly dark hole of Harry Potter fanfics i came to realization …

HARRY POTTER HAS THE AUDACITY TO NAME HIS MIDDLE CHILD ALBUS SEVERUS !!!

are you fckn kidding me…

AND HIS OTHER KIDS HAVE REGULAR UNDERSTANDABLE NAME

his oldest : james sirius

james for his father and sirius for his godfather see understandable

his youngest: lily luna

okay ofc his mother and luna bcs he always saw luna as such a cherished friend

and now his… middle… child: albus severus

… so let’s dissect this shall we

albus for Yk his headmaster, porfessor, mentor …

also the man who left him in a abusive and unloving household with an aunt who hated his mother ( her own sister) and magic and ofc him, the man who NOT ONLY didn’t tell him where or what the fck the other horcrux are BUT ALSO not telling harry that he was a horcrux himself and the in order for Voldemort to die HARRY HAS TO DIE TOO

oh and instead of being DIRECT about the mission he decided he wanted to be a story teller and freakn write poetry AND DECIDED TO LET 3 SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD go on a camping trip from hell while they were wanted criminals to bring down the once dead dark lord WHICH HE FCKN CREATED BY THE WAY

( honestly people it is not that hard to show a child some love and attention)

like he literally scared little tom riddle

tom: i can make things move and hurt others who have been bullying me, can you do it too?

albus: …

tom: …

albus: * sets a wardrobe on fire *

tom: 😧

albus: I’ll see you at Hogwarts, my boy 🤠* exits room*

* at hogwarts*

albus: …he’s a monster 🤡

now for the second name for this unfortunate child : Severus

okay, so… hogwarts professor/ headmaster, potions master , double spy…

the man who literally degraded you at your first day of a new school, bullied you over the littlest thing, the man who was unhealthily petty over his dead school rival which later on became extended to harry bcs … he’s James’ kid

the man who literally bullied you and your friend relentlessly and for no reason at all and the only reason he even helped harry the entire time was bcs he loved lily

like yall gotta keep in my mind, he went to the dark lord AND dumbledore to beg for LILY to live

he said fck James potter and the baby

snape didn’t give a fck about harry the he only gave a fck was if harry was in danger by freaking Voldemort

LILY was the reason why Snape didn’t deliver harry to Voldemort instead bcs think about

he HATED james potter, i mean james, sirius, remus and pettigrew, but mostly james ( and i will admit james was a toerag too) if james and harry lived Snape would have said to hell with yall i’m killing them

do you can see that i was angered and annoyed when I started to remember what harry named his children

like are you sirius…

albus Severus ?!?!?!

you could have named him after Neville or even Ron yk your best friend or hell even minnie ( magonnagall )

but not harry you just HAD to have a good ass heart and named your child after the man who manipulated you , raise you to only kill you, and a man who tormented your childhood

[ooops-i-arted]

Filoni has a tendency to create all these parallels between Luke and his special OCs (nowadays "like poetry it rhymes" is basically Filoni regurgitating his favorite moments from the original trilogy). Yet, cowboy hat man makes it so obvious how he's ensuring Luke and Leia don't participate in galactic events that 100% makes sense with their involvement, substituting them with Ahsoka when he decides to reference Thrawn trilogy.

I see people falling for this lack of creativity over and over "isn't it cool how Sabine is literally saying the same line as Luke in New Hope?" "Omg Din said that ship was a 'pile of junk' just like Luke did!" "Teehee Anakin reached out to Ahsoka just like Anakin did to Luke in Empire Strikes Back!" Filoni relies so much on easter eggs and references to bait people and I'm just not impressed with so much of the material he churns out nowadays. Shit is stale.

Omg I just saw the goddamn "it's like poetry it rhymes" caption on Insta on a picture of Blond Apprentice getting MacGuffin StarBall Whatever next to a picture of Darth Maul from TPM getting his spy droid and I'm like NO! NO IT IS NOT POETRY, THERE IS NO SIGNIFICANCE THERE, IT'S JUST A CHEAP COPY OF ONE SHOT WITH NO EMOTIONAL MEANING BEHIND IT. "It's like poetry it rhymes" is like for, how we see Padme unite with the native Gungans in TPM after we saw Leia unite with the native Ewoks in ROTJ, both to defeat a huge threat to both of them. It shows that Leia may not have known Padme but Padme's spirit still lives on in Leia, and signals to the audience that yes, this is Leia's future mother. It actually means something.

I s2g Filoni has made the entire Star Wars fandom just braindead about Easter eggs. Easter eggs are supposed to be a fun addition that enhances something for a viewer in the know, not be a blaring red flag saying LOOK THIS WAS IN ANOTHER STAR WARS FEATURE. A proper Easter egg - and one I loved - was the brief cameo of Threepio in Kenobi. A viewer who has never seen any other Star Wars media will just see a droid adding to the Space Futuristic Worldbuilding, but my sister and I squealed in delight and had a moment of enjoyment. If Filoni had written that, he'd have the camera linger on Threepio, he'd say one of his signature lines, and then say "Oh dear I do believe I've forgotten something" as a har har har wink wink nudge nudge about how he had his memory wiped. I'm so over it, and I say this as someone who LOVES a good Easter egg, or even things like saying "I have a bad feeling about this" in every piece of Star Wars media!

I suppose at least we don't have to see Luke butchered and Leia wasted anymore like in the sequel trilogy.... but it's a sour victory when this is all we get instead. (Also, if I can be a Bad Rude Elitist Fan for a moment.... so many people are gonna think this is all just Filoni's idea, and not realize that Timothy Zahn crafted an amazing book trilogy they can read instead, and just settle for Filoni's box mix cookies instead of a carefully crafted Zahn masterpiece.)

[transingthoseformers]

The way RiD01 was explained to me was basically the Predacons are a local group of dleinquent kids and this one drop poetry major who follow around this guy who runs a shady loan business and seduced said poetry major and that the main Autobots are like a Japanese police box very small time.

The Spychangers are already spying throughout Earth so like the small town cop just happens to know the head of M16 because Hot Shot, this iteration, is this Optimus Prime's (same name like Jesus but not the same guy) relative (cousin?) somehow per some dialogue. And sometimes they show up because the local gang has somehow acquired a nuke.

I— ? I can see a lot of how this was gotten but goddamn this is one very series series isn't it

[lanawinterscigarettes]

I’ll reply to all of the responses in one ask so I don’t clog your inbox again LOL

1. Trust me I will be taking up your offer to yap about any and every tv show I’m interested in…starting now. I watched the first two episodes of the show Wilderness today - it’s so good, way better than I thought it was gonna be (and also in a different country?? I thought it was set in Australia but no apparently it’s set in New York 😭) and Liv is a bit naive in love but I was more distracted by how attractive she was than half of the actual plot LOL also she’s canon bi, and I lowkey ship her one-night-stand-wise with the girl her husband cheated on her with, like I won’t spoil too much in case you decide to watch it but literally Liv was pretty much stalking Cara then said to her best mate ‘She’s hot, no?’ like 🤨👀 and when Liv kissed her husband she was more bothered to see that Cara was watching them than her husband enjoying the kiss LOL random rant that I can’t tell anyone else about. I don’t know if you know the British show gogglebox which is where people record themselves watching TV but I basically did an amateur gogglebox and now I have a funny 1hr 30m video of my first impressions to the first two episodes LOL

2. Don’t cry! Although I do hope the stars shine for you as I am star anon - I chose star anon because I love the stars so much I have star jewellery and iPad cases of constellations and a phone case of a star and my most used emoji is the star!

3. Missy is the most charming nuwho master…although every time I see John simm I’m like OH MY GOSH ITS THE MASTER

4. Thank you for adding my little thing about the ficmas, I love the snowmen and I’m so excited to see it as with everything you write!! Plus Christmas is my favourite favourite time of year

5. About the foursome fic you’re always welcome to write Missy/River/Clara/Fem Reader stuff I will LAP THAT STUFF UP even like I love the concept of like a double date between River/Missy and Clara/Reader but it just ends up turning into one massive data where River and Missy are being bossy boots and teasing the other two at the table next to them along with riling each other up. Or like, an adventure where they’re all showing off each of their talents like Missy having to manipulate people or River shooting people with her gun thingy or Clara hacking stuff and the reader…idk, deciphering codes or something all trying to impress each other while the doctor is just stood there like 🧍‍♂️these gay idiots LOL

6. I know some people need comfort fics at Christmas but it saddens me that people are even sad at Christmas in the first place 🥺

Hope you’re doing okay Aeron - enjoy the rest of your day in the tumblrverse 🫶

- ⭐️

wilderness sounds like it's so good, plus jenna coleman stars in it so it gets even more brownie points in my opinion hehe. and I've never heard of gogglebox before but now I'm realizing I do the exact same thing when I watch tv- (of course I don't record myself but I get very opinionated on what's going on lmao)

the bit you wrote about the stars shining brightly sounding like such a beautiful piece of poetry to me and I've been known to cry over far less, but they were happy tears I promise 💘 and you seem like someone who gives off star vibes, if that makes sense. like I could imagine you being someone who enjoys stargazing or observing different constellations at night (I might have a new clara x reader fic idea now tbh)

no because why does literally every version of the master seem so goddamn charming 😭 I'm not sure how much you know about classic who but if you think the nuwho masters are charming then the classic who masters are who they got it from because WOW. I love the doctor but I think if the master invited me to travel with them I'd fold right away lmao I have no restraint

no problem!! I love christmas too, though I will have to say it's in constant competition with halloween for me (I've always been someone who loves the fall holidays a bit more than the winter ones but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy both) and you're so sweet for saying that, thank you 💞 sometimes I get worried whenever I'm writing something based on a request that it wont turn up like the person envisioned it so it means a lot to know you enjoy my writing so much and trust my artistic direction or whatever haha

stop you're going to give me too many new ideas on what to write for- (don't actually stop though I always love whatever you come up with) I'll definitely have to write some more river/missy/clara/fem reader stuff in the future, although I can't promise they'll be as long as the kinktober fic (honestly I've never ever written anything that long before idk how it happened 😭)

yeah, I get what you mean. it's just no fun being sad at christmas, but if I can hopefully cheer someone up even a little bit then I'm glad to write a holiday fic that has a bit of hurt/comfort in it ❤

the tumblrverse is such a creative and cute way little phrase omg (I spend way too much time in the tumblrverse than I should tbh-) I hope you're doing okay too star anon!! it's always nice to hear from you 🥰

[chaoticspacefam]

Tell us about You’re In My Veins !

[This one was from a “WIP Ask Game” a while back where I listed titles/placeholder names for my current WIPs and y’all got to ask me about any that interested you! I don’t have the link anymore but yeah, context sjkgjdg]

CW: there’s a snippet at the bottom of this ask which has some suggestive/raunchy connotations. No direct actual smut (that’s already happened prior to this bit at the end 😏) but this is very much an argument about their sex life

Hoooo boy where do I start with this one? It’s one of the ones that’s been stuck in WIP hell for the longest goddamn time. Not even because I don’t like it or anything. The bits I have written of this one are still pretty solid, if anything they need some minor polishing (I was awful at paragraphing when I started this and it shows lmao 90) and it’d prolly still be post-able. But at this stage I’m not 100% sure exactly where it’ll fit into the Creeping Shadows timeline. I know its somewhere mid-to-end of Balmorra, and definitely before Voss but you know...that’s an awful big gap rn :’) I’m sure I’ll figure out where it goes eventually, but till then its stuck in WIP hell 💀 hahaha Anyway the first draft of this was meant to be like make-up smut but in true Aria fashion, she had to ruin it by deciding “nope I’m not ready for feelings yet” and she turned it into a fight (but that said, it does end with Aria seriously reflecting on said feelings even if the overall “tone” of it is that she hates that she’s having them 🤣🤣) so it’s a milestone for their relationship which does, in the end, lead to them actually fixing it for real later on down the line. As a joke I like to call it “make up sex but backwards” bc that’s basically what ended up happening with this one I can’t remember if the rules of this ask game said to include a snippet but I kinda feel bad this one was sat in the askbox for so long so have a lil snippet as a treat 💖

>> SNIPPET STARTS HERE, last warning that it gets a lil suggestive from here on out! also quite a lot of swearing, this is very much a lovers’ spat and both of them went for the THROAT XD <<

Vano’s jaw tightened. “Nice to know you were so concerned with my safety. You know, just a simple ‘hey Va, I’m not dead but I can’t be with you right now’ would have sufficed!” The Mirialan growled, sitting up on her hands, her eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare. “And just for the record, I'd GLADLY die for you, even though you don't fucking deserve it.” “I never asked you to!” Aria snapped back on impulse, not thinking of the effect the words would have on Vano. “I never asked for any of this. I never asked for you to pad after me like a helpless Kath pup!!” The Marauder drew back, and Aria felt the reaction to her words sting Vano like a slap to the face. “Well, I never asked to fall in love with a self-centered bitch either, but here we are!” she yanked her robes back on sharply and sat back on her haunches to glare at Aria. “The only thing I'm sorry for, is that I was stupid enough to think that if I gave you enough time, this would be more than just fucking to you!” “I never promised you flowers and poetry, I told you it was just sex and you kept crawling back anyway!” Aria shouted after her as the Sith stormed away, grabbing her discarded equipment as she passed it. “Fine, then you can find someone else to go to bed with, because I'm DONE with you!” “You always say that, and a week later your head's between my legs again!!” she retorted, knowing the Mirialan had left the ship when no further reply came. The Jedi sank down onto the pillows and choked on the involuntary sob that left her as Vano's last words spun in her head like a swarm of angry hornets.

There’s some more filler/exposition-y stuff between this snippet and the last line but it feels prudent to mention the last line is a bit of internal dialogue (I seem to do that on occasion, first this oneshot, then Strikhedonia...guess its a writing quirk now? /jk) from Aria and it’s just: I hate how much I need you!!

[kxmikomrade]

✧˖*°࿐SMAU - Kazuha

╰┈➤Kaedehara Kazuha x Reader Order: Maple Leaf (Kazuha) Genre: Fluff Gn!reader Pronouns: Y/P (your Pronouns) Type: Headcannons Requested! by 💜Anon on Discord Warnings: !Kazuha Story quest/Inazuma Archon Quest Prologue SPOILERS! Request:'cream/maple leaf (2 ones can be ur choice) jasmine tea/mint tea hm maybe this is too basic ;-; i can change it if u want' Waiter's Notes: Your second order is served, Traveler :D Author's Notes: I actually changed it up from angst to fluff to just fluff, cuz I cant do angst as a starting (or I just had no ideas lmao), ANYWAY I haven't seen any SMAU with Kazuha so here u go! :)) no onion chopping today

•His username is either 'Maple_boi' or 'Maple_Kazoo'

•He streams every other day or every 2 days. He also mostly streams poetry reading which is why 99% of his viewers are students who need help.

•He helps them with their poetry homework and assignments and sometimes Math and Science too. He is so patient and understanding with every one of his viewers that he makes a schedule so it blends with their timezones and his.

•Sometimes streams games to help his viewers forget of all their responsibilities and stress.

•Idk why but he gives me the Minecraft architect vibes.

•he's SO GOOD at building in Minecraft that he has a GIANT server filled with all the great builds he's built.

•I BET THAT HE HAS BUILT SMTH LIKE THIS BEFORE

•Talk about mad building skills, I could never

•Then some of his viewers requested him to play Genshin Impact. He's heard of it before and he saw Mondstadt once so he decided to try it out.

•cue to him keeping calm besides seeing the UNGODLY amount of space it takes. 'It will be worth it' he says.

•He joined during Zhongli's rerun

•Remember that one scene when Paimon showed us the pretty view of the statue of the seven from the cliff? Yeah, he's planning on building that in Minecraft 💀.

•Jumped off the cliff to test if there was fall dmg.

•Cue to Aether nearly dying

•When he reached Mondstadt, he KNEW he had to build it. His viewers are already crying in the chat, telling him to just focus on the goddamn game.

•He mains Aether because his chat keeps on pestering him to main him because they look like lost brothers.

•He's also f2p, and forever will be

•istg, he's so calm that he just there with a small smile on his face in every scene- HE BARELY HAS ANY ENTERTAINING REACTION. Like when it was revealed that Venti is barbatos? 🙂 (he already knew that because of the statue). Childe's betrayal? 🙂, revealing that Zhongli is Morax? 🙂, Dain being originally from Khaenri'ah? 🙂, Kaeya being from Khaenri'ah? 🙂, Lumine being the abyss princess? 🙂

•Though he got interested in Inazuma because its based off Japan.

•He's saving for Venti and Ayaka because of the powerful duo they are.

•Until you came in with the sick demo you had.

•LIKE- WHEN U WENT WOOSH AND SWOOSH AND THEN YOU KNEW BEIDOU??? THE PIRATE QUEEN HERSELF??? THEN YOU SPUN YOUR SWORD LIKE IT WAS CHILDE'S PLAY

•He was SHOOK but like a bit wide-eyed. No, his jaw didn't drop just like how everyone else's did when you were introduced.

•But he did drop something, and that's all his plans on getting Venti and Ayaka.

•He was convinced to get your C6 and Signature weapon.

•Pre-farmed all your mats

•When you're banner dropped, his wallet also dropped.

•He WHALED just to get your C6. He got C1 mona, C0 jean, and C3 qiqi before getting your C6. His chat were either wheezing at it or spamming 'come home'

•Nobody talk about his wallet or bank account.

•It was all worth it, man's smitten for you.

•You have such a cool design, and cool gameplay, that he absolutely ADORES you

•When he saw the cutscene of your backstory, he felt bad for you. Having to have lost someone dear to you. He always thought that your friend was like a sibling to you. So seeing your devastated face made him go from, :)) to :((

•So guess what he did

•He decorated his whole teapot PROFESSIONALLY with your aesthetic <33 and put you in a balcony with a beautiful view of it all.

Random Extra Headcanons

•His current party is You (Main Dps), Aether (Sub dps), Jean (Healer) and Zhongli (Shield and Burst)

•He has your merch, Posters, clothes, figurines, plushies, you name it

•HAS A Y/N PLUSHIE AND HE HUGS IT FOR GOOD LUCK

•When he goes for a break, he displays his screen with a live wallpaper of you sitting on a tree and just [favorite hobby]. His viewers dont mind at all

•Speaking of his viewers, they're called 'Maple leaves' dont ask why

•He built Mondstadt

Part 2 with Inazuma act 2-3?

(911 Words)

[allforanofficerslife]

1917 Essential Reading Rec List

We at the Officers’ Club thought that, as the 1917 fandom is approaching 1000 works on AO3, we ought to put together a list of some of the fics that drew us into the fandom and kept that movie magic going!  We took two server-wide polls and came up with a list of 16 fantastic narrative fancreations that we feel every 1917 fan should check out (if they haven’t done so already)!

These works are not in any particular order besides our general categories.  We have listed them in three categories: “Top 5” (5 works), “Highly Recommended” (7 works), and “E-Rated” (4 works).  Other than that, each category’s works are listed in order of publication, from oldest to newest.

Top 5:

between the crosses (series) ~ Genfic, spans G-M ratings.  Higher ratings largely for violence.  Canon-era, fix-it, and filled with ghosts, this work follows Schofield and Blake’s adventures after the movie until the end of the war.

~ “I know that this is a series and not one specific work, but holy cow. Just, this is the mother of all 1917 fanfics. The level of research, the characterization, freaking TOM BLAKE AS A GHOST, Will as a (somewhat unwilling) psychopomp? Yes, yes, this is required reading for any 1917 fan.”

Pick a man.  Bring your kit. ~ Genfic, rated T.  Canon-era, fix-it, and subjects Schofield to a plethora of time loops.

~ “This fic is what introduced me to the fandom and was the gateway drug to my obsession.”  ~ “Can Schofield escape the time-loop, or will he have to go through that whole day again?  Absolutely gripping, utterly heart-wrenching.  Keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire way through!”

there and back again (series) ~ Genfic and F/M (Will Schofield/Will Schofield’s Wife), spans G-M ratings.  Canon-era, canon-compliant, is a crossover with WWII movie Dunkirk.

~ “YMAM is a gorgeous character-study of William Schofield post-war; TLK is a breathtaking account of how William Schofield meets his wife.  Both works and the rest of the series are exquisitely British in tone and sensibility and are also all exceedingly well-researched.”  ~ “Take My Whole Life Too has such a beautiful exploration of the relationship between Will and his wife. It doesn't pull any punches, and chances are really good it will make you cry, but it is always the good sort of bittersweet. And very well-researched besides!”

Who’s Best Boy? (comic) ~ Gen.  Canon-era, canon-compliant, humorous and bittersweet.

~ “I am obsessed with this comic. I reference this comic in my daily life so much it's not even funny anymore. The art style is absolutely adorable and makes me laugh. This treasure of a comic brought me the panel that now lives forever in my heart: best boy...at what cost...” ~ “This one is a classic.  It will absolutely make you laugh and cry, and even at the same time!”

Louder Than Words (series) ~ Genfic and M/M (Blakefield), split T and M ratings.  Higher ratings primarily for violence.  Canon-era, fix-it, subtle psychic AU.

~ “Will is psychic and that leads to some very unfortunate circumstances as a WWI soldier.  What I like best is how this series really gorgeously paces the development of his and Blake's friendship (and more), exquisitely taking the time to show us how the two men come to trust and love each other.”

Highly Recommended:

A Kinder World ~ M/M (Blakefield), rated T.  Schofield-centric, modern setting AU, and a healthy dose of reincarnation.

~ “Literally the second fic I read for the fandom!  It is incredibly soft and well-written.”

say not soft things ~ Genfic, rated T.  Canon-era, backstory, centered on Private Rossi.

~ “It’s a fic from the POV of Rossi, it’s very in-depth about Scottish culture, what is there to not like?” ~ “It is basically poetry, and the characterization of Rossi is so goddamn good. It's not finished (and I expect it never will be), which is a real shame, but whatever. Enjoy what exists, eh? Because this one is fantastic.”

when the fight is long (we’ll get back up and carry on) ~ M/M (Private Cooke/Private Rossi), rated T.  Canon-era, post-canon, filled with that sweet, sweet Hurt/Comfort.

~ “Absolutely lovely.  For minor characters with a few minutes onscreen, the boys feel so real.  Cooke & Rossi’s relationship was wonderful, the affection they have for each other felt incredibly sweet.” ~ “Pretty decent Cookerossi fic.”

A Rough Year (comic) ~ Gen.  Canon-era, missing scene, Colonel Mackenzie and Major Hepburn-centered.

~ “Everyone knows that if you are coming into the 1917 fandom, then it is only to fall in love with all the background characters who barely got two lines of dialogue. This comic characterized Mackenzie and Hepburn in two glorious panels. You can rip this sassy Colonel Mackenzie out of my cold dead hands! These two Officers are a power duo and no one can change my mind on that front.”

flower petals (what a waste) ~ F/M (William Schofield/William Schofield’s Wife), rated T.  Canon-compliant, post-canon character study of Schofield.

~ “A one-shot under 1k, this work is a haunting depiction of William Schofield after the war.  10/10 makes me cry every time, and that's not counting the beauty of the writing itself.” ~ “flower petals (what a waste) is a painfully beautiful fic about PTSD from WWI. It's not a super long fic, so you're not spending a lifetime of misery with the sadness, but it's worth every minute you do spend in Schofield's post war experience.”

Amigos (comic) ~ Gen.  Canon-era, missing scene, background for Schofield & Blake’s relationship. Warning: will absolutely gut you.

~ “On-point characterization, fantastic art style, and a perfect blend of light-hearted sweetness and wordless anguish.” ~ “Pretty sad :’)”

Whirlwind ~ F/M (Joseph Blake/William Schofield/William Schofield’s Wife) and M/M (Joefield), rated T.  Post-canon pining on Joseph Blake’s part leads to a polymorous relationship.

~ “Lighthearted, sweet, and humorous.” ~ “Cute AF Joefield!” ~ “Beautifully fun poly!“

E-Rated:

the shortest distance between two points is a line from me to you ~ M/M (Blakefield), rated E.  Canon-divergent, fix-it, slow-burn friends-to-lovers set after the war.

~ “This was one of the first Blakefield fics I read back in the day and Cunning paints such a lovely picture of growing romance between Sco and Blake, the trauma they still suffer with from the war, and the misunderstanding trope that we all know and love!” ~ “The quintessential Blakefield ‘survived the war and work at a pub.’  This version has 24k of slow idiots-to-lovers, culminating in another 15k of tasty smut and a surprisingly-modern coming out to the family scene.”

one the other never leaving ~ M/M (Blakefield), rated E.  Canon-era PWP one-shot of Blake’s first time.

~ “Fair warning, this is smut. But it is also effing poetry. A little dark, but beautifully written. Cannot recommend this one for your smutty needs highly enough.” ~ “Probably the best smut fic in the fandom.  Absolutely gorgeous writing.”

Two Lance Corporals and a Prostitute (series) ~ F/M (Blake/prostitute, Schofield/prostitute, William Schofield/William Schofield’s Wife, Tom Blake/William Schofield/William Schofield’s Wife) and M/M (Blakefield), rated E.  Canon-divergent series of PWP one-shots on the development of Blake and Schofield’s relationship as Schofield teaches Blake the ins and outs of sex.  Eventual polyamory.

~ “Two Lance Corporals and a Prostitute is fantastically delicious smut. If you want fun smut that is well written and also very believable given the context of the characters during the movie - this is for you.”

a long road down the river ~ M/M (Blakefield), rated E.  Canon-divergent slow-burn that reconciles the fact that Schofield is married with his close relationship with Blake; has significant plot in addition to smut.

~ “This was the first fic I ever read in the fandom and what made me fall in love with it so deeply. It is incredibly well-written, and the way the author captures Schofield's voice in the narration is absolutely beautiful. There's a lot of poetry being waxed about Blake, but I appreciate the fact that the author still takes their time to arrange this into a slow burn romance. The story explores Schofield's failing relationship with his wife and their consequent divorce plus their efforts to protect their daughters from the fallout, and that was a rather relatable point to me because my own parents divorced when I was younger. To add a cherry on top, the characterization of the secondary characters is incredibly fun, particularly Cooke and Rossi's.”

[kireshai]

Here's the rest of my top 15 BLs.

Once again a warning that some of the gifs are pretty spoilery for some of the shows.

I did the top 2 tiers of my favourites (8/15) in the first post, to be found here.

This consists of my third tier of favourites, entitled:

Damn I Still Love This Tier So Much

RakDiao

I'm putting RakDiao first in this post because it has received very little attention comparitively, so I want to encourage more people to watch it. It's more a traditional sitcom with a gay romance, but it's so funny and really adorable. It does have laugh track, which I personally found grating, but it's so worth withstanding that. The plot is enemies to lovers with flipping power dynamics depending on whether the characters are at home or work and you should go watch it now on the official youtube channel.

Cherry Magic

Oh my god, Cherry Magic is just so goddamn wholesome. You'd think that a story with mind-reading would have so much potential for horny cringe, but Kurosawa is the definition of purity even while jonesing after Adachi like it's no-one's business. Featuring writing sappy love poetry in his head while on a bus, there is not a BL sweeter than this one.

Word of Honor

Honestly, I don't know how people manage to categorise this as bromance. It's so very very gay, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu are basically married about a third of the way through. There's a cast of really great supporting characters, but I do think some of the political intrigue drags at times. It is also not the happiest of endings, even taking into account the mini-epilogue.

TharnType

I am quite happy to admit I like Mame shows, especially when they have chemistry as good as in TharnType. We can just ignore that Mew looks all of his 25-or-so years while playing a 19-year-old. I love this melodramatic mess and its production values are pretty damn high. A warning to anyone who hasn't heard of it that there's some trigger warnings regarding sexual assault both in the story itself and in backstory.

Tonhon Chonlatee

I'm... sorry? Tonhon Chonlatee is very funny. That's it. I love how insane it is - they had me with the Wuxia naughty dreams and lethal abstinence and I loved the rest of the wacky ride. Also featuring a very babby Neo as best-boy Na.

Not Me

I was told that Not Me was not very BL until it suddenly was 7 episodes in, but that is a lie and it is very BL the whole way through. There's some really interesting themes on show here, and some great performances that I really loved. I do think it was a bit soapbox in the way it presented the themes at times, but overall it was really enjoyable. Shout out to First and Gawin who really shone in their intensely emotional scenes.

KinnPorsche

Good lord the love and money behind this show. The production values are top notch and it is so obvious that the people involved really cared about what they were making. I found myself very much caught up in the Vegas and Pete storyline in the latter half, but can you blame me with how well they both performed? That being said, this show was solid through and through, with amazing creatives pulling it together from start to finish.

And that's it from me for now. I hope at the very least I may have opened someone's eyes to an unknown gem today.

[absolutebl]

hii! so i have a very limited knowledge of thai so this may be wrong but i was wondering, in the miracle of teddy bear it sounds like taohu adds "ha/ka" at the end of his sentences instead of "krab". is that not the polite particle ka/ha that he uses but something similar sounding? or is there a reason he uses female particles?

I’m not currently watching this show, so I can’t speak to the particulars but if he’s switching between krap and ha, that’s usually implying household intimacy. So it’s situational. Ha under these circumstances will me more commonly used in the home and one-on-one. Krap will be used in public. Mostly, not always. EVERYTHING is nuanced. 

I have a whole blog post about this here:

Thai Honorifics Between Ages in BL and real life

It's very complicated especially as it's dabbling in the intersection of BL and queer. You should really read that because I had a lot of fun and use tons of BL examples.

There are no hard and fast rules, these are flexible and very much a living language. DO NOT take this as rote or rule bound.

Oh wait, no there is one rule:

If you travel to Thailand and are able to (identity-wise), please stick to krap/kha.

BASICALLY? 

Thai has registers:

high,

low,

frozen

Here’s more on this: Explaining Thai to the Casual BL Watcher - It Has Registers 

Thai uses particles & honorifics to indicate registers: formal/informal, rude/polite (also ultra formal, written, legal, ancient, and royal = mostly frozen, so not used much in daily life, frozen shows up most regularly in poetry, songs, & historical dramas). These can be COMBINED. So something can be formal and polite, or formal but rude, informal but polite, or informal and rude (guu/mueng). 

Ha/ja are both particles, but that are not strictly polite. (They’re still called polite particles by non-Thais though, to distinguish them from other particles like those used to indicate question/entreaty na/la/wa, and mandates/orders si/di)

IN OVERLY SIMPLE TERMS

krap = male (at least 3 iterations: normal, hard & sarcastic, rolled r & very sarcastic) 

kha = female (at least 4 iterations: normal, hard k & tough, drawn out ha & sarcastic, very soft & sliding into ha... see ha’s section) 

ja = when coopted for queer, usually used by those more masc identified (so for example a butch lesbian might use this one, see La Cuisine’s chef teacher) but very unfixed, considered definitely informal, slightly rude. (So should not be used with elders.) 

ha = when cooped for queer, usually used by those with a more femme identity ( so for example Daisy in SCOY and Kitty in La Cuisine) but specifically household intimate, so also used between very loving siblings (Phun and his sister in Love Sick) considered kind of soft, informal, and not particularly rude. Probubly should not be used with elders, tho. 

(There are, so far as i can gather, no polite but queer particles. So, in a way, queerness exists within low register in Thailand... which implies queerness only exists amongst peers and intimates. There’s a goddamn cultural anth + linguist’s PhD wrapped up in this one, so I’m backing away slowly.) 

back to particles

ha slides into and gets confused easily (sometimes intentionally by the speaker) with the soft kha. (There is also a hard kha, didn’t I say... complicated). 

BACK TO YOUR QUESTION 

So if this character is not actually gay, or not out, or doesn’t realize this yet about himself then he’s probubly using “ha” with someone he regards with great intimacy and as a (kind of) sibling or emotional beloved. 

If he’s lovers with someone he might use ha in an endearment capacity, just between the two of them. 

If he’s flirting with a 3rd gender, out gay man, or a woman he might use ha in one-on-one intimate conversation. 

But there are other reasons to use ha, I haven’t figured them all out yet. 

But I hope that helps. 

I have a bit where I talk about how Touch switches registers using the ha particle to flirt with Daisy (and how sweet and gentle it is) in SCOY here. 

[collisiondiscourse]

Man, why does it feel like the threshold for success has a time limit? I always feel like if I'm not an insanely popular artist or powerful influencer by the time I turn eighteen, then I am an utter failure and a waste of my teenage years. I think one of the biggest pitfalls of how the generation of kids today has been raised is that we've basically been socialized to think that our best achievements have to come in our youth or else they become virtually worthless.

Like... Oh? you're a talented pianist and played in front of an auditorium of hundreds at an opera house? how old were you when that happened?

A forty-seven-year-old would be met with a few impressed nods, maybe, and people congratulating them for all their hard work and experience.

A fourteen-year-old would get news articles. they'd go viral on the internet and thousands of people would be clambering over each other to sing praises of how they were blessed with such innate talent.

I get it. It's impressive, right? Because they're young and haven't had plenty of years of experience. These kids, by all means, deserve all the praise and attention for working hard to get where they were!

But that's not the case, is it? And the culture of people putting more credit for young people's achievements doesn't even fuckin end there.

Because not only does this exact same pattern happen with literally every single thing ever, even totally non-competitive hobbies like painting, it happens with such frequency that it's considered normal. Articles use age markers about successes to serve as clickbait for their articles. Cable companies start shows purely about young prodigies and how they've beaten their adult competitors. Because who wouldn't wanna hear about a ten-year-old chess champion, right?

And what's even worse is that it then becomes a competition even among young people themselves! You scroll down on a video of a pre-teen playing Winter Wind and I promise you there will be at least one asshole saying shit like "This kid is not impressive. I saw a nine year old do the same thing the other day!"

It eats away at you! It really fucking does! because we go down this stupid rabbit-hole wherein younger and younger kids get paraded around and raised to be prodigies and meanwhile here you are, sixteen, and having a panic attack because you can't go back in time and force your eight-year-old self to keep playing the violin. It's stressful. It aches. Instead of bringing up younger people around us, we're stuck in this miserable zone where we constantly get compared and pitted against each other because we couldn't "maximize our childhood".

Isn't it enough to just... exist?

There have already been many conversations on the nature of college. How it's utter BS that people have to choose what career they want for the rest of their lives as early as junior year in HS. But what a lot of people don't talk about is just how early people are forced to decide what hobbies they want to do for the rest of their lives. People who start learning how to play an instrument at 28 can't do so without constantly being questioned why they started so late. A drawing with decent coloring garners more credit and attention for the average tween than the struggling middle-aged woman, despite both having an equal amount of experience with visual arts.

Parents constantly tell their children to study harder, to practice more--to just keep on work, work, working until their children become the perfect model dolls they use flex to one another over brunch. It's constantly having your name be followed up by your latest achievement and not anything about who you are as a person.

"This is Codi. She is a straight-A student and got invited to compete at Harvard."

"This is Codi. She is on her school's math team and knows how to play the piano."

"This is Codi. She is--"

I am a human being, thank you.

It's never "This is Codi, and he loves fashion and losing at video games." or "This is Codi, and he likes listening to annoying pop songs from the early 2010s and laying down in the rain."

Why? because none of that matters! None of that is worth listening to because anything less than what I can do to represent my family, my school, my team, my country will never be anything more than a waste of time. It's toxic, how today's generation of teenagers have to be celebrities or important figures or champions or prodigies before they are people.

It gets worse, though.

People start counting your talents like tally marks for points. You can't "just be an artist" anymore. If you draw, then you also have to be good at writing. And poetry. And graphic design. And a sport. Oh, you only know one language? Oh, you've only learned the basics of the guitar? It's like a fucking marker, ticking off boxes to determine the worth of these teenagers on the marketability of their achievements.

And, okay, it's a misrepresentation to only blame parents, right? Because it's a systematic thing. A new societal expectation for kids to be the next fucking Renaissance--with peer pressure for things like relationship experience and wild stories too. We kids now worry about not being special enough, not phenomenal enough, or beautiful enough, or talented enough, or smart enough, or experienced enough. And it's weird!

It's weird how teens now flex how tired and burnt out they are! It's weird how I've had conversations that turned into competitions of how many bullshit responsibilities we have on our plate. It's weird how I've met kids on the honor roll that are so adamant to prove to people that they've gone to parties, had alcohol, and slept around.

It's a goddamn tragedy, watching so many of my peers turning into burnouts before they've even graduated high school.

We are expected to be the most. If that one singer could do it, if that one global warming activist could do it, if that one Olympic athlete could do it--then why can't you? Why can't you have over 20.7k followers on Twitter? Why can't you have started your own band and release a popular album? Why can't you have published your own book by now? Why can't you be good enough?

I sit here, typing away at this stupid post and being unhappy and feeling like I am not good enough. I am an artist. I am a writer. I speak more than one language and play more than one instrument. I used to be a straight-A student and nationally competed in maths and sciences competitions. I am an international finalist for my sport and have multiple gold medals from foreign countries.

Yet still, I feel like my timer is running short.

[gold-onthe-inside]

A thought! Spencer introduces Piper to the book club. They are invested in these pining fools.

*cracks knuckles* i’ve been saving this ask for after my last final today

spencer’s part of the book club pre-2006 and piper lives not far from his neighbourhood in my series and they’re both drawn to the same antique bookstore because the feeling of second or third edition leather bound books is just different. she’s basically a regular at this place, drops by every week after a case, it’s a miracle they haven’t bumped into each other by the time this lovely sassy elderly lady invites her to the club (i’m gonna call her enid).

she and enid always have a chat when and piper’s started to bring enid a cookie and a cup of tea whenever she comes by to buy a book or two. they start recommending books to each other and enid notices the similarities between piper’s taste and spencer’s. it’s that same love of old literature and poetry anthologies and weirdly specific history which enid doesn’t necessarily enjoy but she tells piper to come along to their weekly book club.

their book of the week is a jules verne novel which spencer doesn’t notice her devouring over their week-long case. spencer’s late to the book club meeting because the idiot overestimated how fast he could walk and so he shows up tired and out of breath and enid hands him a cup of tea ‘courtesy of piper, lovely young lady, you should meet her’. she looks soft and lovely with her hair in a wispy bun, a tucked collared shirt and a long skirt. she catches his eye and it’s giving deer in headlights. he isn’t wearing a tie or anything professional, just a green knitted sweater with ducks on it and his hair is all mussed up from rushing. he smells like rain and grass and despite the clear and obvious fact that they’re both in love with each other, they bicker like an old married couple over the book.

enid and the book club girls keep giving them romance books hoping that they’ll get the goddamn message but they’re such idiots. they change the seating chart to put the two of them together, send them on coffee or tea or snack runs together and still nothing. they still bicker over nothing; whether they should get muffins or cookies, coffee or tea, whether the villain was justified or not. they go through four years of this shit until finally one day they’re caught holding hands as they leave and the ladies of the book club lose their minds

[justhaletwinsthings]

forever bitter that we never got to explore those sweet, sweet cullen family dynamics because smeyer was too busy contriving love triangle based relationship drama

like, consider:

silent civil wars between alice and edward over who has to tell carsilse that if they go into school today someone's probably gonna get fuckin eaten 

also that emmett is planning on bringing a pet bear home from their next hunt and neither of them wants to be the one to have to deal with that

emmett bringing esme flowers whenever he can because he knows she likes them and also the bright colours and soft scents really remind him of her (also of his human mother but he keeps that part to himself)

the kids visiting dr. cullen at work which is sweet in principle but also terrible bc it's usually less 'hi dad, how are you? lovely to see you :)' and more 'if you don't make jasper stop what he's doing right fucking now i'm going to bury him in the front yard'. the rest of the hospital staff take bets on who will show up next and pissed off about what. it honestly does more to humanise them than any weird ass overly perfect family appearances ever could.

rosalie looking edward dead in the eye and mentally insulting him for, like, three straight hours whenever they're out in public together just watching him get more and more pissed off bc he can't even SAY anything to her without looking like a goddamn lunatic so he just,, has to fuckin deal with it

also if he snaps and talks back emmett owes her like $500 and like HELL is he giving her the satisfaction of making money off him

esme showing up to pta meetings and community bake sales like the goddamn pillar of the community she is and being told how nice and well mannered her kids are and just like. flashing back to rose putting edward through a wall bc he made a snide comment about her sex life and staring off into the middle distance like some kind of ex-prisoner of war

also i'm sorry, but look me in the eyes and tell me that jasper and emmett don't bully the shit out of edward and i'll call you a goddman liar.

it isn't like. malicious or anything. he just,, makes it so easy. he's all broody and dramatic and honestly it would be a crime NOT to mock that. emmett follows him around quoting emo poetry and draping himself dramatically over furniture and edward is Not Having It. it usually ends in some kind of fist fight in the woods at the back of the house. edward is a vicious little bastard with absolutely no qualms about going for the throat. emmett picks him up and swings him around like a fuckin baseball bat.   somehow jasper still wins.

alice and emmett go on a lot of road trips together by virtue of being the Fun Ones(TM). they have a tendency of just up and leaving at random in the dead of night and then sending the fam a text a week later like 'wrestling gators down in florida. having fun. be back soon xoxox'.

sometimes they go to vegas just to see how much alice can make in a night before they get kicked out. a lot, as it turns out. the day they get blacklisted is a tragic one all around

jasper and rosalie, on the other hand, bond by going out into the middle of nowhere and letting out their repressed rage by beating the shit out of each other

it's two very different approaches

beating the shit out of each other is actually a tried and true cullen family tradition. brother won't stop sharing the private details of your personal life? find out who’s in the right by beating the shit out of each other. sister keeps telling everyone they should just fucking murder your girlfriend? prove that she’s wrong by beating the shit out of each other. it's a tried and true method of conflict resolution.

most of the fam will let an issue go for the most part after the Requisite Beating has been doled out. especially since most of their arguments are actually pretty petty edward and rosalie, on the other hand, hold grudges. it’s a long standing issue and also why the two of them and have the most antagonistic relationship in the family. pretty much everyone else but carlisle Stays The Fuck Out Of It.

alice steals edward’s room in literally every house they’ve lived in since the first. at first it was just a joke but then he started trying to throw her off by constantly changing his mind about which room he wanted and now it’s Personal. he fools her once. it never happens again.

there’s a bit of a weird hierarchy in the family, because like, jasper is the Oldest Child but edward is the First Son and it was kind of hard for them to figure out where they stood with each other at first. edward seems to get his way most of the time bc he’s definitely carlisle and esme’s favourite but that’s partly bc jasper usually doesn’t care enough to interfere. but when he does you can bet your ass things are gonna go his way bc he could snap edward like a fucking twig.

also what jasper wants is usually what alice wants and if there’s anyone capable of pulling a fast one over on edward it’s her. basically my point is that jasper is the Alpha Brother(TM)

meanwhile emmett’s just happy to be here

rosalie and esme actually have quite a good relationship, even if it’s a quiet sort of thing. the time they spend together is mostly marked by companionable silence while esme knits or cleans and rosalie reads but they both consider it time well spent. there’s a lot of unspoken affection there. like rosalie doesn’t need a second mother, especially not one barely any older than her, and she’s always been bad at connecting with other women... but if she has to have one she’s glad it’s esme

[gointothevvater]

Her full profile is finally here! Seven pages of information! I may have gone down the rabbit hole just a tiny bit! 

.

St. Cecilia Jameson

Gender: Cis female

Status: Alive

Occupation: Singer for British rock band Stiletto ("Like the knife or like the shoe?" "Yes.")

 Family: Elizabeth Robinson, née Wallis (Mother), Bryony Robinson (Older half-sister), Esme Robinson, née Davies (Grandmother, deceased), Herakles Zafeiriou (Biological father, though she's never met him), Evander Zafeiriou (Older half-brother, who she's also never met, though they've exchanged family photos and stories via email)

Voiced by: Florence Pugh (Speaking), Lzzy Hale (Singing)

Age: A few months younger than Pickles

Date of birth: December 15 (Sagittarius)

Place of birth: Oxford, England

Birth name: Felicity Robinson (Initially, only Sammy knows this, though the rest of SnB learns it at Esme's funeral)

Nicknames: Ceelie (By Pickles and Sammy, mostly, though the Dethklok boys pick it up eventually), Star (By Magnus), princess (By Skwisgaar)

Ethnicity: Half English, half Greek (Though she's unaware of the latter for most of her life)

Height: Five-foot-one

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: It's complicated. It's always complicated. She's unlucky in love. 

Current location: London, England

Appearance: St. Cecilia is a petite woman (She's half a head shorter than Pickles!) with golden skin and long white-blonde hair, which she wears in a high ponytail. She has thick, dark brows and bright brown eyes (Skwisgaar says she has "wolf eyes"). She has three white marigolds tattooed on each shoulder, a labret piercing, and a vertical collarbone piercing at the hollow of her throat. Her ears are pierced three times each, in which she wears two silver hoops and a silver stud on each side, and she has a small black star beneath each eye. She has a Christina piercing, nipple piercings, and a belly button piercing. She has a No Time For Antivenom tattoo on her sternum, and a European robin tattoo at the back of her neck. Along her spine, she has a tattoo reading "to thine own self be true." She has a shitty stick-and-poke crown tattooed behind her right ear. She has a pear body type, with wide hips, a small chest, and an even smaller waist (Nathan can encircle her waist with his hands). She typically wears a black muscle shirt, ripped dark jeans, heavy boots, black driving gloves, and a studded black leather collar with a D-ring at the front. She also wears a Gibson pearl guitar pick on a necklace, which was given to her by Pickles when they first started dating in the 80s. She wears a silver cuff on each ear, and her tongue is pierced with a simple silver stud. 

During flashbacks to the Snakes N' Barrels era, she's shown with darker blonde hair cut in a mullet style, and only her labret and ear piercings, plus one on the right side of her nose. She wears a cropped white tank, with high-waisted jeans and black Converse sneakers. She wears mismatched armbands, one black, one striped, and the same collar she wears in the present.

Her more casual look consists of a black button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up, which she wears tucked into a pair of leather pants. She wears pumps instead of boots, and her hair is twisted up in a clip. She keeps her collar, but doesn't wear the pick necklace or her ear cuff, and she switches her hoop earrings for studs. She doesn't apply her stars.

For fancier occasions, she wears a black dress with spaghetti straps and a very short, flared skirt, black opera gloves and black strap pumps. She, as always, wears her collar with it, and she pulls her hair into a high bun. 

Personality: St. Cecilia is cocky, witty, and teasing, but ultimately good-natured. She's a bit selfish and stubborn, but she does everything with 110% effort, hoping to impress people, even if she winds up getting hurt in the process. She'll do literally anything for validation. To say she's vain would be an understatement. She's something of a coquette who flirts with both men and women, and is she has a tendency to "think with her dick," as Tony once put it. She's slow to anger, but quick to jealousy, and she holds grudges for far too long. She's the playful type, but it's largely in a chill way. She's an obvious extrovert, and the role as frontman for Stiletto came very naturally.  

Skills & Hobbies: St. Cecilia writes good poetry, great song lyrics, and terrible erotica. She likes plants and is quite the chess player (Though she hasn't managed to beat Charles even once), which she learned during her school days. She also learned to fence, ride horses, and speak fluent Latin there.

Musical Talents: She's a classically trained singer (When she was little, she was part of her church's choir), and she writes most of the song lyrics and some of the music for her band, Stiletto. In Snakes N' Barrels, she played lead guitar on a white Jackson Pro Series Rhoads RR3, but during their reunion concert, she plays a more modern Gibson Explorer '76 Reissue 2010 Cherry. She took piano lessons for several years as a child, and she's still pretty good. Nothing outstanding, but if Stiletto needs to incorporate a piano into a song, she's perfectly capable of playing it herself. 

Relationships: 

-Pickles the Drummer: Their relationship is a complicated one. They've known each other for ages, and they've been together through the highest highs and the lowest lows, all the way down to rock bottom. She partially blames him for her late teens and early twenties being the fiasco they were, and she cut off contact with him for a long time after the SnB breakup. During the run of the show itself, the two reconcile somewhat and even become more or less friends before Abigail shows up and things start to crumble again. They have a hard time admitting it, but there's love between them, and there has been for a long time. They're both afraid to try getting together again, though, as there's a mutual fear of the relationship ending as it did the first time, with them hating each other again. They're back together at the end of Doomstar, but there's no way of telling if the love between them is enough to keep them together or if they'll just fall apart all over again. 

-Magnus Hammersmith: They were more off-and-on than anything, but they were together for years, even though quite a bit of it was long-distance. It wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. It was just supposed to be a quick fuck. Then it was supposed to be a performance to annoy Pickles, but Magnus quickly realized that St. Cecilia's feelings for Pickles were too strong for her to be any use to him in his revenge plot. The basis of their bond formed because they understood each other on a level they've never known with anyone else: Former Snakes N' Barrels guitarist St. Cecilia Jameson and former Dethklok guitarist Magus Hammersmith both understand on a fundamental level what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. Magnus caught a bit of feelings, and when Roy Cornickelson's funeral came around, Magnus warned St. Cecilia not to attend. It was their last interaction, and it forever cast him in a positive light for her, even after she learned what he was doing with the Metal Masked Assassin. 

-Nathan Explosion: They get along pretty well. Their first meeting was at a singers-only Crystal Mountain party, and they ended the evening with a quickie in the coatroom. He wrote a song about the encounter, but Pickles never figured out that it was about St. Cecilia, which Nathan thinks is just the funniest thing. He mostly sees St. Cecilia as one of the guys once she meets with Dethklok again for the SnB reunion. It's a "been there, done that" kind of deal. She's not brutal, but she's funny and she's fun, and goddamn, is she pretty, and they would absolutely hang out if they could get their schedules to line up.

-Skwisgaar Skwigelf: St. Cecilia is nothing short of enchanted by Skwisgaar. It's not a crush, exactly, but she has a huge amount of admiration for him. They've practiced together a time or two, but she's a little rusty and winds up with her fingers bleeding because her calluses have gone soft. He tends to tease her over her soft hands. A guitar god, he tells her, can't have hands like a princess. His calling her “princess” becomes a bit of a thing for them. The two of them often have brunch together, talking shit and drinking. She's good for him; He's never had a female friend before.

-Toki Wartooth: Within the series itself, St. Cecilia hasn't given Toki much thought. He's cute, but he's just sorta there. His incident during the SOBERTOWN USA concert really scared her, and she more or less avoids him after that. Post-DSR, though, their relationship changes. He, like her, was hurt by Magnus, and even with him dead, Toki misses him terribly. St. Cecilia misses him, too. As sad as it is, this becomes their common ground. Their other connection, odd as it sounds, is pole dancing. St. Cecilia does it for exercise, and Toki did it for money, and they often compete to see who's better on the pole. 

-William Murderface: St. Cecilia actually has a begrudging fondness for Murderface. He's awful, but he's also pretty funny, and she likes to hear him talk about knives and medieval weaponry, as her family home is full of such things. They clash over things, of course, but she likes being around him more often than not.

-Charles Offdensen: St. Cecilia really likes Charles, actually. He's basically the only person on the show who's really "on her level" class-wise. He attended Harvard, and she attended Oxford, so they have a great deal to talk about. They play a lot of chess and fence on occasion, and if it weren't for her feelings for Pickles and his obligation to the Church, they just might have gotten together.

-Dick Knubbler: They're friends, in a way. She thinks he's kind of a weirdo, but he knows how to have a good time, so as long as he isn't hitting on her, she likes being around him. 

-Abigail Remeltincdrinc: They became friends mostly due to the fact that they were both women in the music industry (And both working for Crystal Mountain) and supporting each other seemed the right thing to do. Abigail getting involved with Dethklok and catching Pickles's attention quickly became a sore spot, and they drifted apart after that. After DSR, things got even worse. Abigail, naturally, is glad that Magnus is gone, while St. Cecilia is devastated by the loss. They had something of a falling-out over it, and they haven't really spoken since. 

-Edgar Jomfru: Despite being very different people, St. Cecilia really enjoys Edgar's company. He merely tolerates her at first, but she grows on him, to the point where they're legitimately friends come Doomstar. The two of them often have lunch together on the roof of Mordhaus so they can get some fresh air. 

-Family: St. Cecilia's family consists of her mother, Elizabeth, her older sister, Bryony, and her now-deceased grandmother, Esme. St. Cecilia has a very formal, cold relationship with her mother, and she has no desire to change that. As far as she's concerned, her mother doesn't deserve to have a good relationship with her. St. Cecilia adores Bryony, though. Though Elizabeth brags about her, Bryony remains modest and is very close with her sister because of it. Though there's seven years between them, they may as well be twins. Esme, who passed away in 1993, was more of a mother to St. Cecilia than Elizabeth ever was, and St. Cecilia still misses her terribly. She was a big part of getting SnB off the ground, and the boys even came to her funeral.

-Snakes N' Barrels: St. Cecilia adores all the boys, of course, but Sammy is the only one she really kept in touch with after the breakup. He was her favorite long before Pickles joined. There was a pregnancy scare not long after the band took off that somehow, against all odds, brought the two of them even closer. Sammy was St. Cecilia's first love. Her relationships with Tony and Snazz were much more professional, though none of them were anywhere near professional. The crown tattoo behind her right ear was done by Tony on a drunken night in, and it was too good a night for her to even consider covering it or getting it removed. 

-Stiletto: She gets along with them all quite well! She's known Niamh McLoughlin, their bassist, the longest, and their friendship dates back to their school days. Lex Clarke and Priyanka Dayal, the drummer and the guitarist respectively, came as a package deal, as they've been more or less married for years. St. Cecilia adores them and the sweetness of their relationship. She's a little envious of them, actually, though she would never say so.

History:

-Childhood: St. Cecilia was born in Oxford, England to Elizabeth Robinson. She was raised more or less at her family's girls-only boarding school, away from her mother. When she was fourteen, she fell off a horse during an equestrian class and badly injured her shoulder. She was one of the popular girls during her school days, up until she hit fifteen and decided that she was no longer a child and had a right to demand respect from her emotionally distant mother. She quit the piano lessons she had been taking for several years and took up the guitar, though it aggravated her injured shoulder and even as a teen, she developed a dependence on painkillers. This rebellious period stretched until she was sixteen and ran away with the help of her grandmother. St. Cecilia was given her name just before she left, so it would be easier for her to hide, as well as a hefty sum to tide her over until she could get herself settled. She was only in LA for a few weeks before she met Sammy at a bar where the SnB prototype band was playing. Naturally, Snazz and Tony weren't thrilled with the idea of Sammy's kinda-sorta-girlfriend trying to become their lead guitarist, and when Snazz disparagingly referred to St. Cecilia as Yoko, she broke his nose (How could he have not expected violence when a Beatles-loving British girl was called such a horrible thing?). This earned their respect and is an event that they laugh about to this day. 

-Snakes n' Barrels era: St. Cecilia stuck with the band for several months before they found Pickles, and she was smitten with him the moment she heard him sing. Esme was an important source of financial support during their formative years. The band made it big after not too long, and they all grew quite close. St. Cecilia ended up in an ill-fated off-and-on relationship with Pickles as time went on, and to this day she doesn't remember the first time she told him she loved him. It wasn't long after his first OD and his following stint in rehab that she told him, and they were both drunk in celebration of his release. His tolerance, even post-rehab, was far higher than hers, though, and he remembers, though he sometimes hates that he does. Though there was genuine love between them, the stress of the band and both of their substance abuse problems drove a wedge between not only the couple, but also the entire band. Coupled with Pickles fucking groupies behind St. Cecilia's back and St. Cecilia's becoming a rather serious Vicodin addict to combat the pain in her injured shoulder, the band was doomed. Pickles came to see St. Cecilia off on her flight back to England, saying he would meet her there when his next residuals check came in, but he never made it, and they didn't speak to each other for years afterward. It hurt, but St. Cecilia supposed it was for the best. A clean break, and all that.

-Preklok: After SnB broke up, St. Cecilia returned to Oxford, staying with Bryony in their mother's guest house as she tried to figure out her next move. Despite her gift for writing lyrics, she had no talent for writing books, and that idea quickly went down the drain. She still received a large amount of money in residuals, but she was reduced to a mere socialite, though it mostly agreed with her. At her mother's insistence, she attended a few classes at Oxford University. She absolutely loved it. In 1992, Esme passed away. St. Cecilia only told Sammy about it, but he took the initiative and brought Pickles, Tony and Snazz with him to the funeral. St. Cecilia was initially pissed, but she really appreciated the support. That was the only time she saw Pickles between SnB's breakup and their reunion concert. He was devastated when her parting words to him were "I love you with everything I am, but I never wanna see you again." In the mid-90s, she posed for an issue of Playboy, and Pickles has a copy of the issue tucked away somewhere. It wasn't until 1998, when she moved to a little flat in London, that St. Cecilia reunited with her school friend Niamh and the idea of Stiletto came about. They found Priyanka and Lex at an open mic night at one of the local clubs, and they hit it off, both as friends and as bandmates. They played at many clubs and pubs, and they were soon found by a scout at another open mic night. They signed with the UK branch of Crystal Mountain Records and were assigned the surly but efficient Melinda Glasscock as their manager, and within three years, Stiletto was huge, due in part to St. Cecilia's residual fame from Snakes N' Barrels. Their first tour was through Europe, but the second came to America, where St. Cecilia met Magnus in a bar post-show. They got on really well, and she invited him to her hotel room for the night. They exchanged numbers and got quite close over time, with her even flying him out to London from time to time so they could hang out. Magnus knew who she was from the start, and while he planned to use her feelings for Pickles to get her on his side, that soon faded and he came to genuinely like her. She wouldn't learn who he was until later on. A few years before canon, she had a quickie with Nathan in a coat room at a singers-only part at Crystal Mountain records, and he used the fact that she couldn't fit her mouth around his dick as inspiration for Dethklok's infamous song "Glasgow Smile."

-Season 1: 

-St. Cecilia's first mention within the confines of canon is during Performance Klok, when Pickles mentions he hasn't been in a serious relationship since the '80s despite the fact that he would certainly thrive under such attention. 

-She first appears in Snakes N' Barrels, during the documentary the Dethklok is watching. The guys are a little critical when they (Save Nathan, who's known for a long time) learn that part of SnB's downfall was due to Pickles's failed relationship with St. Cecilia. There's some comedic nonsense talk about fucking one's guitarist before Pickles goes to speak with Charles. Though St. Cecilia is working on an album with Stiletto when she's asked to go the reunion, she manages to push through and finish in time, though she arrives nearly late. She finds Pickles backstage, and when he sweeps in to kiss her, she pulls away a bit, saying they can't do this, as she's spoken for. She lets him hold her close, though. The rest of Dethklok finds them like that, and St. Cecilia excuses herself to go find Sammy, Tony and Snazz. There's some talk about Pickles not leaving Dethklok, which he says he won't, but they're rather worried after catching him with St. Cecilia in his arms. Meanwhile, she manages to find the boys, and they meet with Pickles backstage. While the boys partake of the Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake, St. Cecilia doesn't, as she once humiliated herself by passing out on stage and doesn't wish to repeat the incident. She presses a kiss to Pickles's palm before they go on stage, an old ritual that they were never able to shake. What happens is far worse than someone just passing out, and she and Pickles leave the stage amidst the chaos while the medical Klokateers take care of the boys and see them off to the hospital. It's a disaster. She's embarrassed and angry, and she turns down Pickles's offer of a ride home and calls someone instead, as she didn't get her money converted and can't pay for a cab. This someone turns out to be the man who's claimed her, Magnus, and Pickles is none too happy about it. He tries to stop her from going with him, but it doesn't work. 

-She isn't seen in Dethkids, but she is mentioned. When Pickles starts drinking harder than usual, he finally gives in to the urge to call her, to talk about how Sammy and Snazz and Tony are doing, and to tell her that she should steer clear of Magnus. He's so drunk, though, that she barely has even an idea of what he's talking about. 

-Offscreen, but somewhere between the two SnB episodes, Magnus and St. Cecilia abruptly break up. She has a feeling something was going on with him, but his sudden disappearance really hurt her. They had been together off and on for years, after all. A few weeks before he left, he bought her a little pink knife and showed her how to use it, just in case he wasn't around to protect her. When he left, he left his guitar behind, and she still has it as of Doomstar. 

-Season 2: 

-She's mentioned by Seth in Dethwedding, though only as "that British chick" he thought Pickles would eventually have married. Pickles nearly decks him for even mentioning her.

-St. Cecilia's next appearance is in Snakes N' Barrels II. In part one, during the advertisement for the SOBERTOWN USA concert, she's missing from the band lineup, and Pickles is both relieved and a little concerned by her absence. 

-In SnB II part two, Nathan, Skwisgaar and Toki find her among the crowd at the SOBERTOWN USA concert. Nathan asks if she wasn't invited to play, but she says that she was: She just didn't think it was right to play without Pickles. Realizing that Pickles is sneaking around backstage, she leaves to go find him and try to keep him from doing something he'll regret. She only finds him just as Tony, Snazz and Sammy start freaking out, and she only just manages to keep Pickles from killing Rikki Kixx, though she honestly doesn't mind the thought of him dead. She pulls Pickles away from the stage, where he calls the Klokateers to take care of Sammy, Snazz and Tony, and she sets to icing down his bruised knuckles. She tells him that she and Magnus broke up, and he's thoroughly pleased about it: She's too good for him, anyway. That irritates her a bit, but she tells him to call her sometime, though she insists he do it when he's not drunk off his ass. 

-Season 3: 

-Ironically, when Pickles calls her in Dethhealth to inform her that he's dying, he's in fact drunk again. She wants to go to Mordhaus to see him, but he tells her to stay where she is, as he doesn't want her seeing him like that, though she's seen him at rock bottom as it is. At the end of the episode, he's drunker and higher than ever, but he calls her again to let her know he's all right. She can't understand him, though, so he puts Nathan on to explain. She’s thoroughly relieved, but she’s still considering going to Mordhaus to see him. She implores of Nathan, "Take care of him, all right?"

-Offscreen, in the time between Dethhealth and Dethmas, Pickles goes to London for a while to appease St. Cecilia, and to their mutual surprise, it's not really all that different from how it was when they were actually together. There's lots of cuddling and kissing and great sex and just... Hanging out. It's easy for them to be together. They have their share of problems, but the old spark between them is still there. Pickles is honestly a little scared of that: What if he falls for her all over again just for her to break his heart like she did last time? The fact that she has Magnus's guitar makes him doubly suspicious. He starts drinking harder than ever to drown out the thoughts of her. 

-In Rehabklok, when Pickles's drinking is brought to the attention of the band and he's sent to rehab, he tries for a while to blame it on St. Cecilia. She broke his heart, and he drinks to cope. It makes perfect sense, until he starts to really think about it and realizes that he's equally at fault for how their relationship (And also SnB) fell apart. He realizes, after many years, that he hurt her as badly as she hurt him. And that makes him feel even worse. He talks the doctor into letting him call her to apologize, but it doesn't go well: She's a little offended that he would even consider blaming her for his drinking, given he was a drunk long before they met. "Is that what I am to you now? An excuse to get drunk and act a fool?" Not long after that, Pickles realizes the real cause for his drinking.

-Just before Charles goes to speak to the UN in Doublebookedklok, he calls St. Cecilia and cryptically asks her if she speaks Latin. She owes him a favor for getting her out of some legal trouble, so she can't really refuse. Several months before, she punched a scummy paparazzo who called Magnus washed-up, and Charles used his reeducation program to keep those involved from pressing charges or damaging St. Cecilia's reputation. 

-Season 4:

-In Fanklok, before Charles meets with the band to discuss Klokikon, he welcomes St. Cecilia to Mordhaus and presents her with an ancient-looking journal that belonged to Aurelius Isambard, one of the original prophets of the Church of the Black Klok. She's taken down to the basement, where she's introduced to Edgar Jomfru, and gets to work. 

-In Diversityklok, after he's spoken to Edgar, Charles speaks to St. Cecilia. He finds her engrossed, but thoroughly worried. She asks if this is real, and she's even more worried when he tells her it is. 

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia has been hard at work translating the journal, and she's come to a passage that seems to describe the growing tension between the band. It also mentions an approaching star, and she takes to sitting on the roof at night to observe the sky. 

-In Prankklok, when Pickles tells Nathan that he's not allowed to drink any tequila during their friender-bender, Nathan tells him he can't visit St. Cecilia when they stop in London. Pickles reluctantly agrees. Not long after, we see Pickles on his phone, though, debating on calling her just before he notices the storm warning.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia approaches Charles about a phrase repeated over and over in the journal: Fata sidus oritur, the star of fate is born. 

-After Charles breaks the news about Ice Festival to Skwisgaar in Bookklok, he goes to speak with St. Cecilia and Edgar in the basement. She's tacked two star maps to the wall: One from the previous week and one from the previous night. There's a spot near the center of the first map that seems bigger on the second one. She looks like the world is ending when she tells him it's the Doomstar. It's real. It's coming? When? Soon, she says. Far too soon.

-When Charles tells the boys he's going out of town in Dethcamp, it's to take St. Cecilia to an observatory, where they meet with Ishnifus and spend a few days tracking the Doomstar's movement as it comes closer and closer to Earth. 

-In Going Downklok, when Pickles shows up all decked out for his meeting with Abigail, Nathan is quick to ask, "Don't you have a girlfriend?" Pickles insists he doesn't; He and St. Cecilia was hurt and angry the last time they spoke. On top of that, he believes she's all the way in London, and Abigail is right there. 

-Offscreen, between Dethdinner and Breakup Klok, St. Cecilia is tagged in the video of Pickles leaving Dethklok by a drunken Toki. She's incredibly hurt. Pickles has nothing, he said. She, apparently, is nothing.

-In Breakup Klok, Pickles tries to call St. Cecilia to invite her to his wine tasting, but she refuses to answer and sends him straight to voicemail. Towards the end of the episode, after the escape from Salacia, Charles requests a check-up on Edgar and St. Cecilia back at Mordhaus, and Pickles is stunned and angry to learn that she's been more or less within arm's reach for months. Had he known, he's certain things would have been different-- He wouldn't have tried to make a move on Abigail and he wouldn't have fucked up his chance to get back with St. Cecilia again.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia speaks to Charles about staying at a hotel for a few days, just until Roy Cornickelson's funeral, after which she'll return to Mordhaus and her translation work. The day of the funeral, though, she receives a call from Magnus telling her she absolutely cannot attend, as he can't guarantee her safety. It's the last time she has contact with him before his death. We also see her watching the news about Dethklok's breakup and the insinuation that Abigail caused it, and St. Cecilia chucks a bottle at the TV, mirroring Pickles's actions in SnB II.

-In Church of the Black Klok, St. Cecilia is fetched from the hotel by Klokateers and taken to the Dethsub, where she meets with Charles, pointedly ignores Pickles, and goes to work with Edgar instead. 

-The Doomstar Requiem:

-In "One of Us Must Die," St. Cecilia can be seen on one of the slides, staring up into the sky with Isambard's journal held to her chest. Towards the end of the song, reading from the book, she sings, "Dethklok, they must be rejoined/Evil, it must be destroyed/No more apathetic stoics/They can learn to be heroic/Write the song that will be our salvation..."

-In "Training," while carrying the journal, she sings the lyrics, "As the prophecy foretold, the Doomstar has been born/And you all will be endowed with a power known to none." Nathan, Skwisgaar and Murderface are looking at the art of the Prophecy, but Pickles is watching her. Ishnifus places a hand upon her shoulder, and they sing together, "The Deth lights are within you all waiting to be woken/And when the five are united, the evil will be broken," in a show of solidarity.

-In "En Antris et Stella Fatum Cruenti," just after Ishnifus is killed and the Doomstar goes red, we see a shot of Charles, Edgar and St. Cecilia at the Church, watching the sky. 

-In "Morte Lumina," in a mirror to Nathan and Abigail's kiss, we see Pickles approach St. Cecilia, and she presses a kiss to his palm (Which is a really significant gesture between them) before he pulls her into his arms. 

Trivia: 

-The stars on her cheeks are actually a makeup trick, as she's afraid to have a needle so close to her eyes. 

-She smokes Honeyrose Cherry cigarettes (Which have roughened her voice a bit), but she doesn't drink to excess, save when she's with Pickles. He's a terrible influence on her, but she adores him just the same. Considering him and Magnus, she has rather bad taste in men.

-Her signature scent is Estée Lauder's Cinnabar, which features notes of jasmine, orange blossom, cloves, and patchouli. She uses a cinnamon body oil when she wants to get Pickles's attention. It always works.

-She wants nothing more than to be loved, but she's keenly aware of the fact that most of the people who "love" her only want to coast on her fame. It's resulted in her having a hard time trusting people. The fact that Pickles and the rest of Dethklok don't need to coast off her is part of why she likes them so much.

-She's an iced coffee addict, and she prefers chocolate, caramel, or hazelnut varieties.

-She was raised Catholic, and while she lapsed a long time ago, she has occasional bouts of Catholic Guilt. Her name is related to her religion, as St. Cecilia is the patron saint of music.

-Her preferred alcohol is Bombay Sapphire gin, though she also likes white wine and champagne.

-She's a plant mom. Her flat is full of plants, including a little devil's tongue cactus she bought at a farmer's market in LA when she first came to America. It's traveled the world with her! It lived in the cupholder of Snazz's van for several years, and now it lives in her kitchen, perched on top of the microwave.

-She has a pretty serious oral fixation. She's always got something in her mouth: A cigarette, a pen, a popsicle, someone's fingers, a dick. Depends on her mood. Getting her tongue pierced helped a little, as she can play with the stud, but some habits just can't be broken.

-She and the rest of Stiletto own a condo building in London together, and she naturally has the penthouse to herself. It's very airy and open, with lots of mirrors and plants and exposed brick. One corner of her living room is just a huge window that looks out on the city. It's her favorite feature. Magnus is too nervous to go near it.

[humanlighthouse]

I did not know you were specializing in Poe?!!?!

🌫💀🕯🫀🗡🧱🚪🍷🏰🪦🌫

*very irritated rn that my phone has no appropriate corvid emoji*

As an american i'm familiar with like, The Raven (i am a sucker for a rhyme scheme ok?) and his most well-known short stories, etc. so i am super-curious: pray tell, what is your favorite Poe fact and/or work?

it's coming up on the spooky season, so i for one would love some Poe stuffs to reblog in October

*thinking really hard about a liu sang/tell tale heart fusion* ... *also thinking about how dmbj has so many horror elements you could easily situate a poe story into the dmbj universe*

Hi honey 🥰 I sure am! I'm gonna try to keep my nerd rant to an acceptable length, but just know that you brought this upon yourself 🤭

So first: rhyme scheme: have you read The Bells? When you read the poem, you can literally hear the different types of bells ringing! My dude was very good at sounds. He wrote essays on rhythm in poetry, it wasn't my favorite part so I'm not as well versed in that but it sure shows in the rest of his writing!

> I should have prefaced this by saying that everything he wrote can be found online! Either on wikisource or on the amazing, the wonderful website eapoe.org that has ANYTHING you might look for about him!

Okay back to writing. My favorite is a toss-up between William Wilson (guy haunted by a physical manifestation of his conscience) and The Masque of the Red Death (also about a guy haunted by a physical manifestation of his failures hm i have a type yes 🤔) Both stories are short yet pack an impressive emotional gut punch, they're very visual, full of symbolism, and just so damn well written?? I am currently writing an article about Masque and the fact that it uses the symptoms of Ebola 130 years before the disease was found 😗 and how that choice of disease (instead of say, the black plague or cholera that he also uses elsewhere) has to do with said failure of the prince, Color Theory Red, etc etc with some Shakespeare refs thrown in for good measure. It's fun!

My general area of knowledge is about religion and spirituality in Poe, which I am.... basically the only one to study? (yay for lack of competition, big fish tiny puddle!!) At the end of his life (at...39, but that's another can of worms), he wrote a long long loooooong essay (for Poe, so like, 100 pages, but it's so DENSE and dull at times it feels like twice that at least - the ending is really good though!) about cosmogony, that is, the creation of the universe, how and more important WHY it came to be, called Eureka. I did my masters on it, and my doctoral thesis was about how it's kind of a ... crystallization of ideas he wrote about previously?

Fun fact, did you know that Poe wrote the first (Western) Sherlock Holmes? Murders in the Rue Morgue, The Mystery of Marie Roget and The Purloined Letter all have Auguste C. Dupin (his Sherlock) solve crime by sitting down and thinking lol and he was the first! He also makes a few asides about, well, life in general, and a few of these are copied verbatim in Eureka, for example. Poe has very unique ideas about cosmogony, and it's lucky he wasn't more successful in spreading them around or he would probably have ended up on a stake somewhere :) but there are So Good! I can rant more about those at a later date lol

So while Eureka itself isn't my favorite work, its impact (retroactive impact? can that be a thing? I once wrote about "the inverted echo" of it and my thesis advisor was like What lmao) on the rest of Poe's work IS my main area of nerdiness. But Poe is amazing!! Almost everything he wrote is amazing!! He was also bitchy and petty and so goddamn nerdy. Also probably ace!! and definitely bi lol I HAVE ARGUMENTS FOR THIS

Lastly, I have a Poe side-blog, which hasn't been updated in AGES but still exists! And where I put up a list of Poe recs :) here

But don't.... don't get me started about Poe/DMBJ crossovers? I have work to do! articles to write! I HAVE A FAMILY PLEASE-

That's it for now, shutting up :p Thanks for the ask!!!