#this game's size mechanic is the funniest thing ever created

[guerilla935]

Modern Role Playing Games For People That Want To Get Into RPG‘s

You may have heard of a little game that’s come out recently called Final Fantasy VII Remake. There has been a lot of talk about this game having inspired a lot of people to play a game that they skipped back in the day or inspired them to pick up another RPG because they were so engaged in it. Final Fantasy VII Remake isn’t going to make it into this article because I haven’t had a chance to play it yet. But if you’ve always been curious about the RPG genre or maybe you have just finished Final Fantasy VII Remake and are hungry for more, I have a pretty good selection of RPG’s that could offer you the chance to get into a genre of games that maybe you hadn’t considered before. The games on the list are primarily “modern” and what I mean by that is the games will not be SNES era games but rather games that are probably more accessible and easier on the eyes. The games are (as always) limited to what I have had the chance to play. And the games that have been selected were chosen based on the following criteria: low complexity of combat, world building, leveling curve (lack of grinding), and visual appeal. Some of you may want to dive straight into the deep end and download some anime RPG on Steam or find a copy of Chrono Trigger or some certain PS1/NES era RPG and if you can do that then you are an absolute trooper but this post will focus on newer titles rather than the classics. Also if you want me to spotlight a game that you want to recommend put it in the notes because I love getting suggested games! And if you have any questions my messages are always open and I have all the free time to answer them. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way here are games that I recommend as good starting places if you want to get into RPG’s.

Kingdom Hearts

(PS2/PS3/PS4/XBOne)

Kingdom Hearts is a cross over series that blended the worlds of Final Fantasy with Disney. What makes this game attractive to new players is the Disney half and what hooks them in is the Final Fantasy half. The game is easy to pick up and keeps you consistently engaged in enough story and new locations to keep you wanting more after the credits role. The combat is easy, only requiring a few buttons and allows the player to advance effortlessly without having to worry about their gear or level. The platforming sections help form a cohesive world that is small enough to allow its player to mentally map the whole game easily. The game still tosses around complex themes and sullen moments so it is still very viable to play for adults even though it may take you a good while to start seeing the fruits of that. This is an easy pickup for anyone that is thinking that just maybe they want to try a role playing game that tells a large story in a manageable amount of time that doesn’t require a huge amount of your brain power to get through.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

(PC/PS4/PS3/XB360/XBOne/Switch/PSVR)

Skyrim is an open ended role playing game where you create a character and exist in a fantasy world full of dragons and wizards. It’s exactly what most people associate with when they think about fantasy and most of the time it is where people go when they want that sort of experience. If you are trying to play an RPG that tells bite sized stories but includes enough world building to have you reading Skyrim history books until 4 in the morning then perhaps Skyrim is a good game to try. The controls are similar to any other first person game so if you are not familiar with that then there is a learning curve attached to it, other than that there is a wide range of difficulties that allow just about anyone to be able to play through the game. The snowy vistas make this game a beautiful option and the way that the scope of the world reaches miles in front of you gives a really liberating sense of freedom. Skyrim has the potential to become a hardcore obsession but also allows a lighter and more casual experience for people who just want to see main stories.

Ni No Kuni II: Revenant Kingdom

(PS4/PC)

Ni No Kuni II is a fun game that applies big ideas into digestible pieces. The combat is very simple to learn and fun to exploit. The game adds a strategy mode where you command troops that isn’t awesome but also introduces a town building mechanic that is easy to understand and gives you a visual sense of progression. The story is awesome and keeps the world of Ni No Kuni grounded into its fantastical fantasy setting that borrows a lot from everyday life. The game borrows from the art of Studio Ghibli and is heavily inspired by movies like Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro. If any of that sounds like it is interesting to you then this is easily a fun opportunity to bring a unique RPG into your gaming library.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

(Switch)

I’m willing to admit two things. The first being that I truly believe that Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum were the best Pokemon games and that normally I would recommend that someone just play that game instead. However, the second is that Pokemon Sword and Shield are the definitive versions of Pokemon that rid the game of the dated mechanics of previous titles. Pokemon is the monster taming game, the game is a celebration of being able to constantly change who you are playing as and it feels endlessly personal. Pokemon is a great intro to turn based combat that does a great job teaching things like elemental weaknesses and speed stats. This is definitely the easiest, most customizable, and cute, way to enter the RPG genre.

Persona 5 Royal

(PS4)

Persona 5 Royal is the definitive version of Persona 5 which is the latest installment in the Shin Megami Tensei spinoff series called Persona. The game is about balancing daily high school life with traveling into another dimension to fight shadows. The game has a lot of things in it, a day to day manager, a dating sim, turn based RPG, fishing, darts, batting cage, etc. Persona 5 also drips with style, from the amazing art to the fantastic soundtrack. The combat takes some learning but if you set the difficulty all the way down it becomes an accessible experience at no cost to the gripping story. You are guaranteed to fall in love with this game if you end up playing it and it’s bound to create an obsession that has you playing Persona 4 as well as Persona 3. This is an intimidating game to start but with the difficulty set low you really can’t mess up the other portions of the game so there is always a good way to make sure you can experience one of the best games on the PS4.

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes Of An Elusive Age

(Switch/PS4/3DS/PC)

Dragon Quest XI is the funniest game on this list. The writing also ironically follows plot lines from other media like Marvel Cinematic Universe or Dragon Ball. You’ll also notice that the game looks a lot like Dragon Ball so if you ever wanted a Dragon Ball fantasy RPG then you might be in luck. The story is driven home by its amazing cast and continues to supply the player with things to do way after the credits have rolled. The turn based combat is very traditional so maybe try this game if you don’t mind learning an older style of game play presented in a fun and easy to understand setting. Dragon Quest XI is guaranteed to hook you in with its likeable characters and grand story telling, if you are at all attracted by the promises of dumb humor, excellent writing, and incomparable character development you should plan on purchasing this game.

Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn

(PS4/PC)

An MMO is an RPG too. And as I’m writing this the current best place to live a virtual life is in Final Fantasy XIV. As someone who has tried almost every free to play MMO on the market I can say with absolute certainty that you get what you pay for and the subscription to FFXIV is worth every cent if you want to get into an MMO. The game is large and intimidating and complex, however, the game is also home to one of the friendliest communities I’ve ever had the pleasure of playing with and they make the game as special as it is. This is why people that don’t even like video games are drawn to FFXIV because it is an amazing social experience that also happens to be an amazing MMO experience. The story is the best in terms of MMO story lines and the combat is vast boasting 18 completely unique combat classes. I can’t recommend this game enough and if you have ever considered an MMO then I can guarantee you that this is the one that you want to be playing.

Fantasy Life

(3DS)

Fantasy Life is a game about grinding professions. It looks like Animal Crossing and kind of plays like Animal Crossing would if you could also slay beasts and smith armor in that game. If you are familiar with Life Sim games then this is just the fantasy RPG version of that. The game gives you a job and makes it insanely fun to do that job with fun mini games and a rewarding economy system. This is the “relaxing” game on the list so if you like games like Animal Crossing and Harvest Moon and you may want to try more combat heavy games then this is a great Segway into that genre of game.

Diablo III

(PC/Mac/PS3/PS4/XB360/XBOne/Switch)

Diablo III is probably the most famous ARPG which just means that you are looking down from an isometric point of view and are typically facing hordes of monsters to achieve hordes of loot. I would say that Path of Exile might be catching up fast to Diablo but if you want to ease into an ARPG then Diablo III is much more forgiving. The game is instantly rewarding and gives you a lot of customization with your skills and appearance. This game tells an epic story but has too much game in between story beats to make it worth playing for. Although I would recommend this game to a new player that only wants to play an RPG for its gear management and game play versatility without having to sit through endless cut scenes.

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

(Switch)

In Fire Emblem: Three Houses you play as the combat teacher of one of three groups of kids. You decide what they learn and how well they get at it. The game is a strategy RPG so you are using your brain a bit more to assess situations than the other games on this list. However, Fire Emblem streamlines the system into something easy to understand that is accessible to most new players. While I don’t recommend this game to every new RPG player I’d say that if you really want a game that makes you think rather than hit buttons randomly than you might enjoy the deeper engagement that this game offers. Note that the Fire Emblem series is known for using a very evil emotional weapon called “party member perma-death” which you can absolutely turn off if you would like a less stressful experience. Or live for the thrill, I won’t tell you what to do.

Final Fantasy XV

(PS4/XBOne/PC)

Final Fantasy XV isn’t a normal Final Fantasy game. It is a road trip that you can’t truly appreciate unless you get distracted. Over the years RPG’s have been known for putting a large amount of side activities in their games, Final Fantasy XV takes its story and encases it in casual game play that involves long drive and lots of fishing and camping. This game is not for everyone but its more casual approach will appeal to a newer audience than a hardened veteran of the Final Fantasy series. People looking for their first RPG won’t be totally swayed by the story here but they will have seen that the journey can be fun if you let it.

So You Wanna Start An RPG

Take it from someone who has played the opening hours of a lot of games and then quit that sometimes you just can’t get yourself to like a game. You owe it to yourself to find in entertainment something that you like. I consider myself more of a casual RPG player, I’ve never beaten any of the classics and I can hardly finish a lot of the RPG’s that I own now. But I think that fickleness makes me a good source to recommend a good RPG for people that may not have the patience to play through a Final Fantasy IV or a Golden Sun. Also remember not to rule out experiences just because people say that they are “bad” because opinions are subjective to you personally. RPG’s have the power to tell moving and important stories, and as a player of them I hope I’ve given anyone reading this some incentive to experience a larger than life story.

[zaggitz]

Top Ten Games of 2020

This year being the shitshow that it was, I ended up playing quite a few games I missed out on last year! First though, my lists from the previous years:

2015 - 2016 - 2017 - 2018 - 2019

I like having my actual top ten being games that came out the year of but here's a few games that would have been on my list last year if I had played them:

Control

Really fun gameplay and a great weird world to play around in that scratched that weird cryptid/scp itch in a really satisfying way. I still have the final DLC left but I'm excited to do a full replay of the game at some point down the line

Outer Wilds

This game was worthy of all the praise it got last year and more. Amazingly crafted clockwork world with great lore and characters and an absolute blast to explore and get lost in- and then explore and get lost in- and then explore and get lost in- and then explore and get lost in- and then explore and oh damn is that a singularity cool I wonder what happens if I- and then explore and get lost WOAH there's two of me now!

I wish I could forget this game and play it for the first time all over again.

Honorable Mention:

Ghost of Tsushima

This game is an absolute blast to play and has some of the best seamless open world navigation I’ve experienced in the genre. How much I love playing the game is however at odds with how much I LOATHE its absolute horseshit main story. Might check out the multiplayer mode some time since it’s all the stuff I liked and none of the bad stuff.

Now for the actual list:

10. Man Eater

This game scratched a deep PS2/PS3 B game itch that I've had since probably the last Saint's Row game came out. It's nothing special but I had a really fun time with this weird, bite-sized(heh) comedy game.

9. Ori and the Will of the Wisps

Ori 2 is in every way a massive improvement from the first game. The mechanics feel tighter, the level design is a lot more open and freeform, the writing feels sharper and the addition of tons of new characters with lots of dialogue helps flesh out this very beautiful world the designers at Moon Studio have crafted. I played this game on Switch and it played pretty smoothly though it was extremely jarring seeing XBOX GAME STUDIOS upon loading the game up on a Nintendo console.

8. The House in Fata Morgana: Reincarnation

This epilogue to the previous two visual novels did a fantastic job of closing out all the characters personal arcs and rounded out the story in a really good way that didn't choke me up at all, shut up.

7. Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity

Now here's one I didn't expect to get sucked into as much as I did. There are a lot of plot expectations coming into this game from Breath of the Wild and it takes no time at all for HW2 to subvert the shit out of them. It toes the line really well between being both a prequel and a pseudo sequel really well and the combat is that good chunky big musou stuff I love. It also doesn't have any Imprisoned fights so it's immediately better than HW1.

6. Final Fantasy 7 Remake

Speaking of pseudo sequels... This game was just an absolute blast. The combat is hectic and strategic in a really satisfying way. The way it fleshes out all the characters from the early parts of FF7 while also having kicking rad world building and a few(not enough) new areas entirely ruled and much like HW2 it absolutely loves to set up expectations from the original game and flip them on their heads. I can't wait to see this shit go off the rails in the eventual sequel.

5. Animal Crossing: New Horizons

I have like 300 hours logged into this game at this point. I've never been much of an AC guy but boy did this game luck out by coming out just in time for me quarantining at home for 7 weeks. I don't really have a lot to say about the game itself, I'm just glad I had it to occupy my time during the start of this hellshow.

4. The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 4

This game has some of the highest highs in the Trails series along with some of the absolute lowest lows. It's an absolute mess especially on the romance side of things but CS4 also wraps up longstanding plot threads from like 7 games prior with surprising amounts of finesse so the pros ended up outweighing the cons for me overall. This series was a core example of scope getting out of hand over and over. In a world where these games are tighter paced and end up being the 2 games they planned instead of 4 I could see this being a top contender. Sadly that wasn't the case. 

Now that the arc of these games is over I'm excited to see if they can return to form with the next one.

3. Hades

Amazing combat, amazing writing, well integrated roguelite elements and plot, dope ass music, this game's got it all baby. The amount of variety and build potential on hand makes me constantly excited to hit up a new run.

2. The Legend of Heroes: Trails from Zero

Take all my complaints out of the CS4 blurb and this (finally) fan-translated version of the first game in the second Trails arc is what you get. This game had some of the best worldbuilding in the series due to it taking place entirely in one huge Hong Kong style city. It closed out a major and extremely emotionally satisfying plot thread from the first 3 games and ends on such a fantastic high note of a finale. Trails fans who haven't touched Crossbell yet, don't miss out!

1. Yakuza: Like a Dragon

Why is Yakuza 7 my favorite game of the year? It’s not the brand new, huge city to explore filled with stuff to do. It’s not the shift to JRPG combat that works extremely well in context and gets really fun by the end of the game. It’s not the fact that this is easily the funniest game I’ve played all year, and hell, maybe ever. It’s also not the way the game perfectly closes out the Era of the last seven games while ushering in a new, extremely exciting one.

It’s because the new protagonist, Kasuga Ichiban, is not Kazuma Kiryu.

Let me back-up for a sec. This game’s biggest change above all else is the shift to a new protagonist. Now, for a Yakuza game, having a different protagonist isn’t normally a huge deal; we had new guys in 4, 5 and Judgement. But they all functioned within the narrative framework established by Kiryu.

Kiryu is a character whose core philosophy I feel can be broken down into one sentence: Don’t let anyone stand in the way of you living your life the way you want to live it. Every main story in Yakuza 0-6 revolves around this philosophy, as do most of the substories. Kiryu only gets involved in a game’s main story when he has no choice, because something is threatening the life he wishes he could be living. Hell, if anything, you could argue his ending in 6 is him finally accepting he can’t have the life he wants if he wants the people in it to be safe.

So when RGG studios created a new protagonist, built around a whole new combat style, they also had to change the philosophy behind their storytelling.

Kasuga Ichiban is a character who, after this first game at least, to me has a core philosophy of: Everybody deserves to be alive, to be seen, to be helped and to be understood. The changes this brings to the story are incredible and lead to one of the most emotionally satisfying games I’ve ever played. 

Sure, this is a Yakuza game, with it’s typical conspiracies and crime melodrama, but it’s also a game about the dehumanization of homeless people and sex workers. A game about the rampat mistreatment of immigrants and elderly people. A game about the dangers of rampant puritanical nationalism.

That it manages to be all those things so loudly and proudly is something that could only happen with a loud, rambunctious, heart on his sleeve type of guy like Kasuga Ichiban driving it.

Also the reason it’s a JRPG now is because he’s a huge Dragon Quest nerd, and you get to summon a crawfish named Nancy to kill people. Game of the Year.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 4

Skipper Thistlespring and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

We pick back up at The Swan’s Little Parade where rich people shenanigans are taking place. Gorgug breaks from the group to try and call Zelda. When she doesn’t answer, he leaves the saddest, sweetest apology voicemail ever. Lou breaks. Siobhan breaks. I break. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the group gameplans. Adaine pushes back against the idea that they have to talk to Aelwyn. Her parents are also an option and Aelwyn is not a good person, no matter how hot Fabian is for her. They also check out the guest book from the hotel and see that Bill Seacaster has stayed there several times, always right after a Garthy O’Brien (they see that it happened a bunch while they were in jail and it was probably in conjunction with when Bill was supplying palimpsests). Fabian recognizes the name as a pirate and Cathilda knows they run the Gold Gardens which is a floating pirate casino/brothel.

Kristen tries to release Gorthalax but just confirms that, because of the curse, doing it without messing up Gorthalax is gonna be tough. 

Sandra-Lynn goes to get Gorgug while Fig decides to careen the campaign into Crazytown and make herself Empress for Life of the same. She disguises herself as an old lady and tries to drop off a note giving her phone number as the new number of the cop she impersonated last episode (Detective Decker) so she can send a fully grown cop texts that would def get him Chris Hansen’d irl. Brennan decides that if she’s gonna keep making beds, she should probably lie in one of them for once and comes for her entire life in the funniest scene of the episode. No recap I could give can do it justice(links to clips here: x, x). Just know it ends with Fig running away and ditching her phone in a lake, which could very possibly have plot consequences if she forgets to replace her phone before she’s in a tight spot where it would be helpful and the absolute dumbest/funniest reason for a character death (I want to note that she did replace her phone technically, but with a huge, old, brick phone from Adaine’s jacket that can’t be as useful as an actual cell). 

ANYWAY

Tracker creates a Moon Haven in the van which is basically like a dope pillow fort with the Sanctuary spell cast on it and TARDIS bigger-on-the-inside spatial mechanics. Once they’re inside the Moon Haven, Ragh finally feels safe to tell them what he knows--which he does telepathically via Adaine and the message spell to make everything extra safe. Here’s a rundown of what he tells them:

He saw Kalina on the night of prom after the big fight. She was talking to Jace (the sorcery “teacher”) and an elven woman who looked like Adaine in black robes--Adaine confirmed with a picture that it was her mother. 

After being healed by Porter, Ragh started walking home and was stopped by Kalina who said she would kill his mom if he told anyone what he saw. 

Ragh’s mom Lydia is also a half-orc barbarian. She was on a mission in the Red Waste (where the 7 Maidens have their Sophomore Year quest) and they found a soul gem that was leaking something bad. She put it in her chest to contain the evil but at the cost of her health. She’s now extremely sick and in a permanent, medically-induced rage to keep her alive. She refuses medical treatment because no one can ensure the evil won’t be released if they remove the gem. 

His mom fucking slaps.

So that’s all deeply worrying. Adaine invites Ragh and his mom to live with them in the Haunted House and Fig offers to give them Dr. Asha’s number. Gorgug discovers the Van can become a boat which is convenient for the pirate-y things they have to do (the Golden Gardens is on the way to Falinel so they decide to stop there first). Fig has a heart to heart with Gilear while Adaine and Sandra-Lynn take first watch outside since the Moon Haven can only hold nine people. Adaine has to roll a wisdom save because she’s outside of the Haven’s protection and, even on a 16, the music goes all scary and she feels that something is in the tent with her outside. Something humanoid and her size with its knees to its chest. She senses that if she sees its face, something will happen to her and, instead of looking at it, she calls for Sandra-Lynn. By the time she shows up, the thing is gone. Fig assures Adaine that she’s not crazy or seeing things and, based on Adaine’s description, they’re able to deduce that it wasn’t Baron or Kalina. 

In the morning, Gorgug is pretty bummed and asks everyone to call him Skipper. Kristen is very down and Fabian is very not. They discuss whether they should tell all of the information from Ragh to the 7 Maidens (no) and whether Gorgug should call Zelda (yes). They drive into the sea. Gorgug finally talks to Zelda who is not happy with him for the ghosting and unintentional thoughtlessness. She’s even less happy with him when she realizes he forgot to get the generator they needed to stay in touch long distance. They’re breaking up. Do I mean relationship-wise or phone-wise? You don’t know? Well that makes two of us (Thanks, I Hate It).

They’re at sea for two days and then make it to the floating pirate shipwreck city of Leviathan. Pirate adventures next week, y’all! 

Detention

Fig for Trying to Seduce ANOTHER Middle-Aged Man

Listen, I’ll stop putting her here for this when she stops doing this. Not to mention, she invented a whole ass person (HILDA HILDA?????) when she’s just been told that nightmare monsters are being generated from lies. Fig, my girl. Ms. Faeth. Please. I’m begging you. Please. 

Honor Roll

All of the Adults for Stepping Up

Every single adult in this episode was on fire. Fig confided in Gilear and he stepped up to the plate with a This-Is-So-Serious-I’m-Going-To-Use-Your-Actual-Full-Name, speech. Sandra-Lynn showed Adaine how to do some ranger stuff and jumped in to save her when she cried out. Cathilda was ready with warm milk and cookies she somehow was able to make in the van as soon as Adaine needed them. Sandra-Lynn also had a heart to heart with Fig and even Gorthalax, who’s still trapped in the ruby, gave Fig a spell slot back. And, of course, Ragh’s mom slaps. 

Random Thoughts

Adaine and Fabian both being uber rich but being on the opposite ends of the rich people spectrum is hilarious. Adaine is a “Sleeping in a van? I’ve heard of that but I’ve never gotten to do it. This will be fun!” Rich Kid  and Fabian is a “No turn down service? Hard pass,” Rich Kid. 

I was happy that they brought Ragh along for comedy reasons but who knew he was gonna be so chock full of backstory and important story beats? Like, every good GM has a way of making whatever story path that was chosen seem like the only way the story could have gone and I’m sure that whoever was picked, Brennan would have made that seem like the obvious and essential choices but I’m very happy they picked Ragh. Him talking about how much he loves his mom was so adorable! I love that he’s a big, good, dumb boy now and I’m happy they invited him to live at the Haunted House. That’s def gonna be good for some shenanigans (also love that Adaine’s only stipulation was that he had to be nice to Zayn and he was so eager to agree).  

Insane Ally Move of the Game: Deciding that Kristen genuinely doesn’t know Gilear used to be lunch lad at their school. Is Kristen even on the same plane of existence as everyone else. And then, later, “I worry about Gilear.” Do you really???

I totally forgot that Gilear was not only an elven diplomat but also a full on actual counselor. Makes it even wilder that he lost the job to Jawbone. Also, while we’re talking about him, I said we were gonna inevitably gonna get some more color on Gilear this season and we saw some of that in this ep when Adaine uses detect thoughts on him (which, btw, seems like a horribly invasive thing that people do very casually in this world) and we see that he gave up his career for Sandra-Lynn and then was wrecked when she cheated on him. Really puts a melancholy shade over his hilarious ineptness. 

Another thing I figured we’d see soon and that we’re starting to see is Adaine speaking up on Aelwyn. Two times this ep she tried to steer the group away from Aelwyn and seemed more serious than her usual trash talk. As excited as I am for pirate adventures, I want to get to Falinel ASAP to see how this shakes out. 

Also, on the mom front, wild that we found out that Ragh has a super dope mom in the same scene Adaine took another L and found out that her mom is also involved in this shadiness. Black robes are never a good sign. But I will say, just based on the story beats we’ve gotten, I’m not totally sold on the idea that she’s 100% bad--or at least that she doesn’t care for Adaine at all. I’m wondering if she wasn’t at school trying to find Adaine (possibly among other things). 

“Every time you have sex it’s a gamble. You could lose your heart.”/”What happened to you on tour?”

Gorgug trying to let a full sized griffon land on his arm is hilarious. I love that. He’s so wholesome and dumb.

I love that when Emily was doing her Hilda-Hilda nonsense , turned into Detective Decker, and ran past the police house precinct, Lou was the only person who was on her wavelength and understood what she was trying to do while everyone else was like????

We find out in this ep that Van can control all the auxiliary functions of the van but not the actual driving, which is important to know before a sticky situation. On a more personal note, we find out that he was originally a planetar (second most powerful D&D angel) of Elysium, specializing in harmony, relaxation, and chill vibes and he got dumped and kicked out of heaven for sleeping through a call to battle.

We also get the cursed image of a van with hands which I knew was gonna be the shirt and lo and behold. 

“Fuck Me.”/”When.” Y’all are the worst. 

I love that Brennan mentioned Porter in Ragh’s flashback, fully knowing it was gonna trigger Emily. 

Fig’s new plan is to get all of her parents in a throuple and I don’t even know where to begin with that tbh so I won’t.

@voxfantasma made a comment last week that Sandra-Lynn very well could have seen Kalina which is why she can she her in the photo--which is an offhand comment I made when I was talking about the rules of the photo last week--and Ragh’s reaction to the photo is making me move this theory back up to the top spot. I still wish they would show the photo to more people so we’d have more data for this. 

I loved Fig tossing Fabian a bardic inspiration for a compliment even though he didn’t really need it. I also love that she has a rider in her rockstar contract necessitating gogurt be at all her shows for Gilear. 

Adaine paranoidly casting water breathing on everyone at the slightest hint that they may have to go near water. Our girl is learning from the mistakes of the last oracle. 

With the gang facing off against the Nightmare King and Brennan’s description of the thing in Adaine’s tent as being humanoid, about her side, and sitting in a sort of defensive way, I’m wondering it what it was was a manifestation of her own anxiety or something along those lines. Of course, it could just be a normal ass monster. Sometimes the scariest thing is your inner turmoil and sometimes it’s just a monster trying to bite your head off. 

We also learn that Cathilda has a super wild adventurer’s life before she settled down to be a maid--so she knows what she’s missing and she’s fine with it--and also that she is paid ridiculously well, which makes me feel better about what’s going on with her. Also, her moment with Adaine and the cookies was so sweet. My notes for that scene say, “Adaine loves Cathilda and so do I.”

I loved Murph and Riz going equally Pepe Silvia trying to anagram out Garthy O’Brien (which is also what I was doing, especially since Brennan specifically spelled out the name). Cheers to Murph/Riz and Siobhan/Adaine trying to single handedly keep the story on track--both in and out of character.

There’s a part in this ep where Adaine Ray of Frosts Fig who immediately Hellish Rebukes her and that’s truly the kind of step-sister shenanigans I want to see from them as much as possible please and thank you. Also, like I said before, it was very sweet of Fig to reassure Adaine that she wasn’t just seeing things in the tent. Her catfishing middle aged men aside, she can be very empathetic when she wants to be.  

Adaine cast (or tried to cast Friends) on the thing in her tent. And I think it’s very telling about her character that that’s the spell she would cast and not an offensive one. Not that messing w/ someone’s brain is a super chill thing to do or anything, but I think, “Maybe I can calm whoever this is and talk to them and we can get some information,” is a much more measured reaction than maybe, “Let’s blast this thing to kingdom come and ask questions later.”

“Man van is a boat, my boat is a van.”

Brennan lets Adaine roll w/ advantage to convince the Hangman to come with them on the Van (which he still hates) because she said, “Please” really cute which is the kind of arbitrary DM fiat that I love. 

Adaine: We should tell them unless we’re being graded on a curve. (Savage.)

“Fig, she’s a maid. She’s not allowed to lie.”

All the skipper talk this ep got the Gilligan’s Island theme stuck in my head (never seen an ep but my mom watches it sometimes) so the next day I was getting dressed going “With Fabian, and the skipper too, the oracle, the PI,” to the GI theme song. Also, did not know skipper and captain were the same title until Fabian got all upset and I looked it up. Yet another piece of information I know because of some game (along with what a panacea is (Dragon Quest 9) and where the CDC is (Pandemic)).

Gorgug, being offered a virgin daiquiri: No thanks, I’m driving. (I’ve said this before: Zac low key has the best comic timing of anyone.)

When Riz is angraming, one of the things he ends up with is something about a “night yorb” which Brennan decided is a real thing that both the Hangman and the Van are very wary about. Having the Hangman constantly being like, “SPEAK NOT OF THE NIGHT YORB!” and the Van being like, “Seriously, don’t fuck with the night york,” was so funny and such nonsense. I can’t wait for the night yorb mini boss fight that has to happen now because of the rule of funny.

Gorgug comes down from his call with Zelda and everyone except for Fabian (and probably Ragh who cannon-balls off the boat w/ Fabian and they both have to be rescued by Sandra-Lynn) knows exactly what happened immediately. Aw, buddy. One of my favorite things about media where you have kids saving the world is you have relationship drama and also the world is ending and it all feels equally high stakes. I find that so funny but also it feels very representative of what high school was like, or at least what it felt like (minus the literal apocalypse, obv. Or maybe not. Idk what was going on at your high school). 

Adaine continues lending out Boggy to anyone who needs him.

Also, Gorgug tries to build a cell tower with driftwood and parts from Adaine’s jacket. It’s not going super hot. 

Both Adaine and Riz are podcast nerds and listen to This Solesian Life. All checks out. Their friendship is underrated.  

“I’m feeling really bad and my van is a boat.”

“I was gonna be straight edge except for drugs,” gives me “Sober salad” energy. 

The whole discussion about Kristen getting tracker silly putty for her birthday. 

The Van was serving some serious Ned Flanders energy along with the Owen Wilson energy this episode. 

Brennan does pretty good whale noises. 

Only crit this episode is Fig with a nat 20 insight to know Gorgug’s conversation with Zelda did not go well. Which is something she’d crit on.

[cheekygosling-bct-blog]

12/03: play-testing continues

Today we continued the play-testing, comparing the two possible different decks(serious and silly, both questions and objects), as well as different game play mechanics such as only seeing the cards right before a player answers.

My observations of the testing:

The specificity of the objects need to be adjusted. Too specific objects resulted in confusion and ruined the immersion of the game, while objects that were broader and more general resulted in boring solutions particularly in the questions meant to be funny, where every item was boiled down to its physical attributes, such as its size, weight or shape.

I think this could be fixed by giving each item a better description, for example instead of ‘car’, using something like ‘2010 Suzuki Swift’, or instead of just ‘paint’, something like ‘bucket of black paint’. 

It doesn’t take away from users ability to answer the problem, it just gives more avenues for players to solve the problem by associating things to a more specific object(Suzuki swift associated with basic white girls, giving the paint a color and a container rather than just an unidentified liquid

When trialing out the mechanic of only viewing the cards immediately before a players turns, i found that the stories became less creative and overall, a more boring and not as fun experience. We tested this so we could create a fairer environment for each player, as if each player all saw their cards, the player reading first would have much less time than any following player. It also seemed to stall the game, as some players with less creative ability simply turned over their cards and sat quietly for 20-30 seconds before telling the story.

I think a solution for this is for everyone to see their cards immediately, and everyone is given ~1 minute to craft their ideas before the stories are first read. While this still gives those who read later on more time to refine their ideas, it dramatically increases the average quality of the story.

Despite adding time of essentially sitting around, it reduces the time waiting per person, as rather than everybody waiting for one person, those quick with creating a story have to wait for everybody else, meaning fewer people are not actively involved.

We also tested a wildcard mechanic, in which the player who receives it must find a physical item to use as one of their objects. This seemed to be well received, with those playing all getting involved with finding an item for the player with the wildcard. However it did eventually devolve into just grabbing random shit, and not even taking notice of the other card the player had

This may have been a result of only having 10 seconds to grab an object. If they had the full minute while everyone is looking at their own cards, this may be more successful.

Attach video

The team will continue play-testing with different mechanics over the forthcoming days. I will provide insight into this as well as designs for the cards and objects to go on the cards.

reflecting on the project

Overall i have little-to-no passion what so ever for this project. In my honest opinion, it feels to a lot of other party games a la Cards against Humanity style ‘One player picks the funniest answer’. Maybe with more play-tests we can develop more mechanics that make it engaging and different, but it still has the same core ideas. Not that the isn't fun, i just feel like the idea has been done to death before after the success of CAH. I will continue to put my all into the project, in hope that project can be improved, and would be disrespectful to my team to do otherwise.

[staggeringsmite]

2, 4, 8, 17, 18, 24, 32, 36?

(pick and choose if that’s too many 😅)

thank you!!! once again under the cut because this got long <3

2. what was your first time running a game like?

ohohoho it was genuinely pretty stressful bc i had been wanting to play dnd for a while and wanted my friends to like this cool fun game sooooo bad, but i Was in middle school and that time is mostly forgotten. somehow i remember this very well. the first game i ever ran was in 7th grade and was holiday themed over our school break. it was set during a winter solstice festival in this moderately sized city the party had just arrived at to see what the celebration was about. they did minigame time for a while running around the town, joining in games and celebrating winning little prizes or a few copper, which was a great way to introduce skill checks to a group that had never touched a ttrpg system before bc we were 12-13. i was fumbling around with rules everywhere, and it was suuper messy but we had a great time!! i think it culminated in a scrooge-esque character placing a nasty curse over the town and them having to go to his mansion to idk beat the nasty out of him and his little cult or something <3 the actual dm'ing part was a mess but also super rewarding, and i realized i really enjoyed doing it and cooking up a little game for everyone!

4 & 8 answered here!

17. what is your proudest improvisation moment?

dnd thoughts are like a constant background program running in my brain, so even if i don't write down every monologue or line or narrative moment i think up i'm constantly churning out these moments that make it easier to prep and/or pull out when the tone and timing is right, meaning it's not really improv. i am incredibly proud of the xarus and piper moment before they tried to stop castellane's coup because i did put some thought into what they were going to say, but obviously had to see what xarus' reaction was and couldn't really prep beyond the initiation of the scene. it turned into one of the most intense, emotionally complex scenes culminating in that forehead kiss that i will think about forever, and just, unstoppable force vs immovable object dynamic with xarus' self-sacrifical tendencies and piper's declaration of determination to see him through this fight.

other really proud improvisation moments i think mostly arise during combat. while i think i have a ways to go keeping combat interesting in terms of all the little descriptive moments that happen throughout, i don't prep anything dialogue or description wise and have to do more in the moment that creates them. some of favorites happened in the finale battle for wandering isles including xarus' divine intervention harm spell which manifested as his typical lightning (storm herald barb/tempest cleric multiclass) eye glow this time illuminating thirty feet out from him with the stormlord managing to crack into the demiplane with a huge lightning bolt across castellane's form. this and the tâm and theresa reaching out to/keeping veviri alive and the descriptions of the resurrection and tâm's twin heartbeat (honoring a previous nat 20 to allow this to even happen) were highlights of improvising and the campaign as a whole for me <3

18. funniest improvisation moment?

HOWARD SMOOTHANDS. okay i admit i should've been more prepared but school was a lot and i had spent sooo much time prepping the larger plot stuff where the party was that the simplest, most common dm thing of "hey you should put some people in this tavern in case they go in to ask questions" just sort of slipped my mind, there was a vampire cult happening at a large university you see you must understand. anyway i don't think this was entirely improv bc i remember the name coming from a generator, but i did end up having the on the spot get the atmosphere for this tavern and it was bizarre this was a very rural dilapidated community and they were all super suspicious of the party members that came in and then they met, flirted and slept with howard smoothands the barkeep so everything worked out. i think it is mostly funny because this arc was one of the darkest tone moments in the whole campaign, and it was great to break that up with thirty minutes of a halfling thieves' guild associate named howard smoothands.

24. how long does preparing for a session usually take you? do you chronically under or overprepare?

i don't have an exact number but i also know that it could take much less time than it actually does like most tasks i undertake because well, brain doesn't work great. i think it varies a lot depending on what the party is headed into if i'm running a main campaign, if i'm pulling from other modules to help supplement, running out of a book or completely from a module, etc. for my mostly homebrew stuff some sessions that i know are going to be big battles really only take 30 minutes of setup to get my balance right and everything into roll20 whereas if i'm running a highly individualized session (like one that has dream sequences or trials or highly specific character moments for each pc that i need to conceptualize and write and tweak) that could easily take me 3-4 hours to get finalized.

32. do you have any dice/other mechanic rituals? do you feel like you roll abnormally well (or the opposite)?

i cook my dice for a bit before my games <3 (leaving them on the highest numbers) i also Will Only use the dice or color of dice i associate with an npc when i roll for them. i feel like i roll decently well if not average but there have been Some Nights where it has been insane (double nat 20 for castellane at the dock fight with nyx for example).

36. how do you gear up to run a session? any pregame getting into character/setting moments?

i must admit when school is in i am probably prepping down to the wire on session days, but if i have some time i'll just read over my notes, open my stuff, and maybe listen through the campaign or character playlists

[entergamingxp]

Destroy All Humans! Review — Not So Out of This World

July 27, 2020 11:00 AM EST

Destroy All Humans is an endlessly entertaining alien-superpower playground, but tends to crush under the weight of its own structure.

I first played Destroy All Humans in elementary school at a friend’s house on their original Xbox. Back then, the game was crass, addicting, and full of big words and jokes that I didn’t quite get. While I do get the jokes and understand what ‘Communism’ is this time around, playing Destroy All Humans in 2020 simply isn’t as awe-inspiring as it used to be. Instead of the silly anal probe jokes standing out, I couldn’t help but notice the game’s aged mechanics and flat-out repetitiveness.

That’s not to say the game is all bad though; its arcade-style gameplay is entertaining enough, although its writing doesn’t come up to par. On its Steam page, the game is advertised as “one of the funniest ever created,” which may have been true back in 2005 when it originally came out.

Today, the game’s repeated jokes about 1950’s Americans worrying about coming out of the closet, heavy alcoholism, and men beating their wives land like a crashing UFO. More often than not, I found myself cringing at these would-be zingers–although some stay relevant today regarding police brutality and the fate of Jimmy Hoffa.

“Playing Destroy All Humans in 2020 simply isn’t as awe-inspiring as it used to be.”

But, the fun of Destroy All Humans isn’t its writing–it’s… well… destroying all humans. Throughout the game, you’re given six worlds to harvest brain stems, ranging from a backwater rural town in the middle of America to its own version of Washington D.C (dubbed Capitol City), complete with a White House and Washington Monument to burn down if you so choose. The game’s missions also occur across these six levels, although you may not know it at first glance.

Each one is actually decently sized; for a while, I thought going into a mission had the game load up a different, smaller area each time. It’s also in these levels that you get an eye full of the fairly well-done remastering Destroy All Humans has received. The game looks detailed but retains that goofy cartoonish stylization that it originally had. During my various rampages, I would often have to stop and just watch as a victim satisfyingly turned into a charred skeleton and then ash.

That is, until I began exploring each area without an objective. When Pox (your alien commander) isn’t barking orders at Crypto, he can do what he does best — let off some steam by vaporizing humanity and its creations. Of course, a job like that needs the right tools, and Crypto has quite the arsenal. Besides his telekinetic powers, which are probably the most fun weapon in Destroy All Humans, Crypto has access to a lightning gun that arcs electricity between targets, a disintegrator ray that leaves humans as smoldering piles of bones, an ion detonator that vaporizes anything in its shockwave, and of course an anal probe, because why not.

These weapons, paired with Crypto’s shield, leave the little grey alien much, much more powerful than any enemy he faces. The game makes you feel overpowered as you decimate entire army battalions with a single explosion, or pop their brains out one by one for easy harvesting. Having so much power at your fingertips in these sandbox environments is simply enjoyable — even when I had to grind for DNA to upgrade my gear, it didn’t feel like a grind. It just felt like fun.

This only makes it more of a shame that the same feeling doesn’t translate to the flying saucer Crypto uses for more wholesale destruction. As opposed to Crypto, who manages to be quite agile (especially with a dash that can quickly get him out of a sticky situation) the saucer is cumbersome and clumsy.

“I understand that this version of Destroy All Humans is just a remaster, but leaving the saucer as it was over a decade ago just feels lazy.”

When flying the UFO you have two options for camera angles, a 45-degree angle facing downwards or another shifted just below that to give you a better view of the ground–ideally for using the ship’s death ray. Neither of these viewpoints works well for the UFO – the former prevents you from looking out ahead while the latter just isn’t useful. I understand that this version of Destroy All Humans is just a remaster, but leaving the saucer as it was over a decade ago just feels lazy. This tool of destruction that should be the end all be all for anything standing in my way was left hobbled.

Of course, there’s more to do in Destroy All Humans than just ‘destroy.’ Many of the game’s missions force Crypto to refrain from his violent tendencies in favor of a more stealthy approach. These missions are where you’ll use Crypto’s other tools and telekinetic abilities.

For instance, one mission tasks Crypto with infiltrating a state fair — easy enough when you’re not four feet tall, grey and have shark teeth. To work around his appearances, Crypto can use a ‘holobob’ that disguises him as whatever human he targets. However, this holographic costume runs out of juice quickly and can only be recharged by reading minds. This is the game’s way of making sure you hear some of its jokes, which unintentionally made me dread using the holobob. In case you couldn’t guess, the jokes usually aren’t that great, and repeat often. Besides that, players can hypnotize humans into following them or make others dance like a chicken as a distraction.

Just like those jokes, the game’s missions also repeat often. Many of them follow the same pattern:

Disguise yourself

Read minds

Destroy the area

?????

Profit!

The pattern repeats so often that I would usually dread the destruction. This repetitiveness is offset somewhat by challenging secondary objectives that reward the player with more DNA, a currency used to upgrade weapons and abilities. Despite this, by the time I beat Destroy All Humans I felt that most of the missions had been so repetitive that I couldn’t differentiate between them.

What’s worse is that the ones that did manage to stand out usually only did because they were particularly dull or difficult. These missions usually centered around escorting a person or vehicle, or they were boss fights. Each was flawed in their own way — failing an escort mission led me to a checkpoint where my objective’s health was already nearly depleted, meaning I had to restart the entire mission for an actual chance to succeed.

Boss fights, on the other hand, are simply dull. There are only two, one at the game’s midway point and one at the end. Both don’t require much on the player’s part except for a willingness to hold down the left mouse button for about five minutes. Of course, failure in these missions means you have to start over again from the beginning. My dread for restarting these fights didn’t stem from their difficulty like a Dark Souls boss fight. Instead, I simply didn’t want to go through the dreadfully boring process of whittling down a life bar again.

“Destroy All Humans doesn’t have the staying power of the alien Furon Empire, and I doubt I’ll be booting it up again any time soon.”

After beating the final boss of Destroy All Humans, I was relieved that I was done with the game more than I was excited to spend my massive DNA reward on upgrades. Destroy All Humans is excellent at destroying one thing in the real world: your time. It’s easy to just play in the game’s satirical world, to lose yourself in the waves of chaos and destruction you can cause. However, when the game tries to apply too much structure, it begins to feel held back.

I had fun with Destroy All Humans, I mean how couldn’t I? You can give Crypto an alien skateboard to ride while he makes brains pop out of human heads. That sentence alone is reason enough to at least check out the game. That being said, Destroy All Humans doesn’t have the staying power of the alien Furon Empire, and I doubt I’ll be booting it up again any time soon.

July 27, 2020 11:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/destroy-all-humans-review-not-so-out-of-this-world/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=destroy-all-humans-review-not-so-out-of-this-world