#this game is all ive thought about for the past 2 months. help me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sleepless-in-starbucks · 1 month ago

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oizys u should explain mouthwashing game to me alkdfjals;dkfj ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ it sounds neat but too horror-y for me 😭 but i'm getting. idk just like vague hints that you've heard about it or something <3 sooo if u want to then i could hear about it without having to experience it directly 👀

i dont know what would give you the implication ive seen it im so subtle about my enjoyment of it (lying) but yes ill be happy to provide an explanation :)

specifically what im going to do is . copy and paste the Extremely Detailed Run Through of the game that i told blink in a fit of madness, which is pretty much as close as you can get to playing/watching the game Without playing/watching it imltho

and Then since that explanation will still be kinda horror-y and may not be enjoyed by all ill put at the end of it a tl;dr section that's a more str8-forward explanation of the game with minimal horror elements explained in depth

so if u want to read the whole thing Great, if not feel free to speed scroll to the bottom and read there :) if u have any thoughts or follow up questions Please let me know i love being normal about this game

warnings for: blood, gore, mutilation, severe injury, implied assault (general and sexual), death, general Horror and Tension vibes

mouthwashing is a sci-fi horror game, set on the ship 'the tulpar' with its 5 crew members. there's curly, the captain jimmy, the co-pilot, second-in-command anya, the ship's nurse swansea, the ship's mechanic and daisuke, swansea's intern curly and jimmy are old friends, anya's about their age, swansea's an older man with a family back on earth, and daisuke is a teen/twenties smth who doesnt really know what he's doing with his life

when the game Opens u are told it's '0 days until the crash' and u get to have fun playing as a not-immediately-identified character who's running their ship into an asteroid following that scene you switch to '2 months after the crash' where you're playing as jimmy, with most of the rest of the crew sitting at a table with u and talking about whether or not to open up your cargo hold- as a delivery ship, it's against regulations, but you're stuck in the middle of space, the only thing protecting you from death in the vacuum being piles of emergency foam, and if there's food or medical supplies in there, you need them if youve any chance to survive

you learn in short order that the missing crew member- curly, your former captain now that jimmy's taken over that responsibility- was missing bc he's been in the medical ward for 2 months, devoid of his hands, feet, skin, and one eye. he was in the cockpit when the ship crashed, and it shows. if youve seen the fucked up bandaged guy assoiated with the game, surprise! that's post-crash curly

u get to Have Fun feeding him pain meds after anya asks for your help, saying she cant do it herself. this game has Wonderful sound design so. well. no one's having fun

jimmy then gets to go find a way into the cargo hold, along the way learning that the utility room is foamed up to hells and swansea isnt letting anyone else in there for the time being- the ship's cyro pods live in there, and theyre delicate, so he doesnt trust anyone else to break through the foam without a) killing them b) destroying the pods

once u break into the cargo hold, u see shelves upon shelves of cardboard boxes before the game switches gears to flash u back to 7 days before the crash

u learn ur now playing as curly, who's finishing up a psych eval with anya. he passes, huzzah! and offers to do jimmy's for anya when she mentions that he never takes it seriously, making stupid jokes that she then has to write down for the official report

before doing so, however, curly finds that daisuke has trapped himself in some foam trying to fix a utility vent that leads between the utility room and the medical room. curly gets the axe out for swansea to free daisuke with + clear the rest of the foam. luckily, no one is injured, and the pods (right next to the vent) weren't broken. swansea makes it clear that no one, especially daisuke, is to go back into that vent. it's too fucked up, it can't be fixed, you'll be cut and burned and shocked to death trying

curly takes note before leaving to do the eval with jimmy, with it going over more-normal since curly is doing it instead of anya. they then talk about their respective life positions- jimmy feels he's never going to be good enough, that he's never really gotten anywhere meaningful, and curly is torn between staying in his role as a great ship captain or trying to see if he'd be better off somewhere else, if being a captain is really what he wants to do forever

jimmy makes a comment about how curly's choosing between staying at the top of his current ladder or switching for another, but he's still got 'a long way down/to fall' either way

theyre cut off when a message from the higher ups comes in, and jimmy leaves so curly can read it privately

back to 2 months after the crash, the crew reveals what theyve been shipping: mouthwash. boxes upon boxes of mouthwash. one of them makes a comment about how this is what they wanted us crating across the stars? only mouthwash? anya notes that the mouthwash has too much sugar to be used as a disinfectant, and points out the 14% ethanol content. swansea takes this as a good sign to take a swig of the stuff to Swallow, making a comment about 15 years of sobriety down the drain

we return to 7 days before the crash, where curly has read the message from the higher ups and it is Not Good. he goes to tell the crew, only to have them all greet him with hats and balloons- surprise! happy birthday, curly

they only get one birthday celebration per trip, and they take turns each trip with whose bday they focus on, and this time it's curly. jimmy comments on how the tradition is corny, but he's kinda grown to like it, and he looks forward to the next one. curly reacts oddly before he goes to make the cake; he has to be the one to do it, bc only the captain has the rights to make sugar packets

the crew ask him to do a speech, but as he puts the cake down, they realize something's wrong. they ask what, and curly reveals the news of the note- the 'pony express' they work for is pulling the plug on them. this mouthwash expedition will be their last one- they will get paid for it, curly says, they assured me the crew

doesnt exactly take the news well

swansea said they shouldve seen it coming, pony express was the last organization to run manned delivery ships, the writing was on the wall. anya expresses that she doesnt know what to do- she doesnt have any savings. daisuke asks if they can even do this

jimmy gets more into it, pointing out Specifically how fucked they are- swansea's hardly got that many more working years in him, anya never finished nursing school and hey we all know she never will, but, yknow what, daisuke's got a rich mommy and daddy, so thank gods he'll be just fine. jimmy's got nothing waiting for him on earth, but whatever, i'll be fine, isnt that what you said, curly? that im always fine? down here on the bottom of the rungs? and of course, for curly, this is the best possible outcome! a chance to leave being a captain with none of the guilt of the choice. he wasnt even running from being a captain, just from being around them, but he has to be hero. he's always the hero. and now he's still the damn hero

curly tries to calm jimmy, jimmy slams his hands on the table, and tells him to just cut the goddamn cake

curly does so. it looks more like a stabbing motion

back to post-crash, it's the middle of the night. daisuke's asleep, anya + swansea are missing, and curly's scream-groans are echoing through the ship

jimmy goes to check on curly, finds him flailing. he needs more painkillers, but jimmy's not sure if he's had his set for the day cycle yet, so he goes to find anya. both her and swansea are found in the cockpit, talking about something. anya's not sure what to do. they cut off when jimmy appears, ask him if he's having trouble sleeping too

jimmy asks about the meds, anya says she forgot to do it. jimmy berates her for it before saying he'll take care of it- anya tries to insist she can, but jimmy ignores her to do it himself

curly flails more, pained, screaming, but he gets the meds, jimmy sees to that. theyre running low. once theyre out, jimmy muses, they wont have anything to give curly for the pain, to keep him still

still jimmy, we now enter a This Isnt Reality moment

jimmy's in the main area, the screen that simulates a sky cracked and flashing EMERGENCY on it. at the table is curly, in all his bloody bandage glory. the cake's between him and jimmy. curly- who can talk here, who cant talk in real life anymore- wants to eat the cake. jimmy says it's shitty, subpar, not worth it. curly argues that u need meh things to make the good things Good. he asks jimmy to cut it, and jimmy says he will once he finds a knife

the cake knife is in the broken cockpit, buried in the back of the captain's headrest. jimmy comes back and finds the cake is gone, now curly's on the table instead. the game glitches and cuts to 3 months post-crash before you cut anything

jimmy's in the cargo hold. the place's been lightly ransacked, some boxes open, spilling off the shelves. you need to check on the crew

daisuke's on the floor right outside the hold, sick with a mouthwash in hand. he's drunk some. jimmy says he should stop, it'll kill him-

-faster than anything, daisuke finishes. he gives the mouthwash to jimmy. he never wants to see it again

anya's at the table in the main area, staring at an unopened bottle. there's a backup medical storage area, trapped in the foam, but not That trapped. she thinks they can get to it. they need more medicine

jimmy goes to get the axe from swansea. he's wasted on mouthwash (side note, this crew's ability to survive things that usually kill over the longterm is oddly high. no offense curly and swansea, but you both should be dead well before the end of this affair) and dancing with the axe in hand

jimmy wants it? wants to risk cracking a hole in their ship's emergency foam and killing them all? be his guest- swansea buries the axe in the sky screen behind him, right in the center of the fake sun, and lets jimmy take it away

he gets to the medicine. painkillers- different type, different dose- and medicinal rubbing alcohol (pure alcohol, the inventory tells you, so strong that it could kill)

anya asks him to give the pills to curly again. jimmy breaks again, yelling at anya- can she not do her job?? doesnt she know how busy he is as captain, how much he has to do?? find the scanner, get into the cargo hold, check on the crew, get the axe, and of course, give curly his fucking pills. anya backpedals, says she can do it- but no. jimmy's been asked, jimmy's got it. he'll give curly his fucking pills (the swear is in the mission objective now!)

i get it now, jimmy tells a pained curly, about wanting to get out. being captain's hard. you have to do everything. but don't worry curly. jimmy's going to get them all through this. he's going to fix this. he gives curly his fucking medicine

we now cut to 6 hours before "judgement". jimmy's locked himself in the cockpit- outside, swansea is yelling for him, telling him he cant hide, shaking the door. jimmy rushes to the supply cabinet, finds a broken metal pipe and some rope, these can be useful

he shoves the metal pipe into the door, trying to reinforce the lock. he grabs the rope and swansea breaks through the door's window, reaching through the broken glass for the lock

3 days before the crash, anya's sitting in the main area, looking at the simulated sky. it's set for night, deep blue and silver moon. curly sits next to her. neither of them can sleep, anya says she's been having trouble for a few nights now

there's a dead pixel in the top corner, anya tells curly, if you look closely enough curly cant see it, but he says it'll haunt him. now that you've told me, anya, it'll always be in the back of my mind anya asks how much longer they have to the trip. 273 days, curly responds, just under- -8 months, anya finishes. sits for another moment. captain, why do they have a lock on the door for the medical room, but not the sleeping quarters? same reason they do the cockpit, curly replies. safety the screen glitches out on the word

post crash, 5 months. there's an emergency, daisuke tells us- anya's locked in the medical room with curly

jimmy and daisuke go to investigate, try to force the door open. jimmy asks how hard anya's tried to unstick it on her end, has she put her back into it? she's silent. jimmy asks if the door is really stuck. it isnt, she admits, and she isnt going to unlock it

jimmy says she needs to get over herself, that she needs to learn to deal with hardship. all their meds are in there. she needs to open the door

anya says that she still believes people arent as bad as their worst moment (an earlier conversation, back when we were only 2 months post crash, when jimmy was musing on why they chose to keep curly alive despite the cost, despite 'what he did'). that she believes this isnt her worst moment. they wont stop her from what she must do

jimmy, worried about curly, asks daisuke if there's any other way into the medical room. there is. it's the super duper completely off limits vent that starts in the also currently off limits utility room

to get in the utility room, they need to get past swansea. he's got the key and he's still not letting anyone in, looking miserable and ill as he sits outside the utility room door. he's not dead yet, but the mouthwash isnt exactly doing him any favours

8 hours before judgement. daisuke's on his bedroll, bloody and in agony. they need disinfectant- where's the medicinal alcohol? swansea asks (demands) jimmy tells him cocktail, and swansea curses, tells him to go look for something else. swansea goes to the medical room, door now open. you can't see the area where curly is, cant find anya; the screen glitches out in grey stripes you go the cargo hold. the stairs leading down into them are longer, longer than you remember, too long. take responsibility, take care of it. there's a monster in the cargo, and if you move when it's too close it'll get you

you find a bottle of mouthwash, not yet opened, in the hands of the ship's horse mascot polle

you take it back to daisuke. he tells you he's sorry he messed up, you tell him not to speak

it's too much sugar. you have nothing else you close your eyes and daisuke screams

5 months after the crash. you need to get past swansea. he's got a high tolerance, but it can only be so high, right? you mix a cocktail, one part mouthwash, one part medical alcohol (so strong it could kill)

swansea accepts the 'peace offering.' he hits the ground and the key falls out of his pocket. daisuke worries, will he be ok? it's fine. he has a high tolerance

you open the utility room and find that it's not filled to the brim with foam. the edges are, sure, and most of the cyro pods are ruined, but it's clear overall. there's still one pod standing

daisuke's impressed. swansea's done more work than we thought! jimmy argues he hasn't done any work, he's been lying through his teeth the entire time, hiding the remaining cyro pod as his own secret and excuse to keep welding the axe. only one of them can survive, and swansea's setting it up to be him

daisuke isnt convinced, says they should wait to ask swansea about it. jimmy says theyll deal with him later. for now- the vent

it's still a danger, electricity sparking from a loose wire. daisuke's not convinced this is a good idea. sure, swansea may have been lying about the utility room being foamed out, but he was really serious about this vent. maybe they shouldnt go in

jimmy reminds him this is there only way in, to anya, to curly. daisuke has to go in- he'll be fine, and then, swansea will be so proud of him. he'll have done so well. he'll have done good.... under captain's orders

daisuke folds. he's going to do it. he climbs into the vent. you listen to him clunk through, shuffle over the metal- a pained sound, a groan, and then he's into the medical room. oh, anya, what did you do?

it's 1 day before the crash now. your objective is to find the gun

it's not in the medical room, not in the main area. you go to the cockpit, where it should be, and find anya, kneeling on the floor, distraught. as the nurse, she gave all the psych evals, but no one gave her one. you shouldve. you should have done a lot of things

you'll take care of this, you promise her, you'll get this all figured out. it doesnt have to go on the report logs. where's the gun?

anya tells curly she's pregnant. he asks who.

captain, anya says, i told you.

curly asks for the gun again, says he'll talk to him, he's known him a long time, but he needs the gun back

she reminds him that only the captain can open the case, that she doesnt really have the gun, just the case holding it, hidden away. the bylaws wont let you arm her with it against him, but she wont let it fall into his hands

6 hours before judgement. jimmy cant get daisuke's bleeding to stop. swansea's kneeling next to the kid. he's got the axe again

he talks to daisuke, for a bit. about how he hadnt been able to do anything right, about how swansea didnt know why he had come to the ship in the first place. about how he was just a kid trying to figure everything out. about how he was still always Trying. always wanting to Learn. useless ray of goddamn sunshine. you couldve taught an old fool like me a lot. close your eyes, daisuke

swansea raises his axe and strikes the center of the sun

jimmy starts arguing with swansea, angry, why'd he do that? didnt he see jimmy was fixing it, that he just needed time? why will no one on this damn ship give him any time?

swansea says he's done with jimmy's trying to 'fix' everything, that there was no more hope for any of them, that he was sparing daisuke from spending another second with jimmy and his delusions

jimmy accuses swansea of less selfless motivations, tells him that he knows about the utility room, the one remaining cyro pod- swansea's planning to try and be the last one standing, isnt he? 20 years in a cyro chamber is a better chance than the months theyve got on the ship before food runs out

swansea laughs at him. he doesnt want the cyro chamber. he's got everything he needs right there on the ship. does jimmy want it? he's welcome to it - he can tell whatever story he wants when the rescue crews finally find him. he can be the hero. curly and the rest of them'll take the blame. jimmy can be the hero

jimmy brushes him off, goes to the medical room. anya's on the floor, vomit on her chest and three bottles scattered around her slumped over form. curly, still alive, watches you with one eye as you pry open her hidden drawer and find the gun case. you can open it. you're captain now

you go to the medical door. open it up to find swansea running at you, full tilt, axe raised over his head. you slam the door shut

curly laughs at you. as you open the case, get the gun, find swansea running at you. bloody hunk of meat and he's laugh-crying at you

0 days before the crash. anya's in the medical room, on her knees. she told jimmy. curly says he wishes she wouldve waited for him. it doesnt matter. jimmy didnt take the news well, stormed off. curly goes to follow him. he can fix this. he'll fix this

jimmy's outside the utility room. i can fix this, curly tells him. you'll get through this

it's not just me though, is it? jimmy points out. it's your ship, captain. your responsibility (take responsibility, take care of it). that'll follow you around for the rest of your life

or they'll just see it as your best attempt. a tragedy, despite its impeccable captain's supposed best efforts. no survivors to tell the tale

for a moment, the first moment, you cut out of both jimmy and curly's bodies. you watch jimmy put his hand on curly's arm. take care of it, take care of it, take care of it, kills 99.9%-

jimmy says he'll take care of it, and he walks away

moments later, the ship is crashing, jimmy sitting outside of the cockpit. tell me you didn't-? no response. you pry open the doors to the cockpit, rush in headfirst. you'll fix it. you will fix it, even as fire consumes your vision

1 hour before judgement. you've got curly in your arms now. you walk him out to the main area- surprise! happy birthday jimmy

the crew's seated at the table again; anya with her vomit-covered chest, daisuke with a bloody line through his face, swansea with a bullet through his forehead. jimmy places curly on the table. theyre all celebrating him, begging him for a speech. you pick up the knife

for some people, it's enough just to put food on the table. but not for curly. he needs more. you've always needed more, curly, but that's alright. i still believe in you. even like this

a view from above shows the crew slumped over and unmoving. a view from jimmy's eyes show them sitting up, breathing, smiling. swansea's drinking more mouthwash

you cut through the cake with a stabbing motion, a sawing motion, dropping a slab on each member's plate. the cake sits. curly stares. both his legs are shorter than they were before the crash, but one even more so now. feast

you're in the vents now. take responsibility. there's no going back now. you turn around and something- a face- in the darkness- you're facing the vent again. there's no going back now

you crawl, backwards, through the vents. a bloody note reads responsibility and you crawl from it the fastest. axes line the vents. now flowers, hibiscuses, bright pink like the one's on daisuke's shirt

you tie up swansea. you can still fix this, you tell him. you'll fix this

swansea tells a story. how he used to be a drunkard, always down the bottle, until one day he looked in the mirror and scared himself, saw a bloated body in a ditch if he didnt straighten out. he got sober, got a job, a mortgage, a collared shirt. a wife, kids. none of his achievements ever felt as good as he wanted them too. those days, lost to the bottle, living on the edge- they were some of the best he ever had

if i couldve done one thing right, he tells you, i wouldve saved that kid. that would have been worth it. that would have meant something

jimmy says he can fix this. swansea tells him to fuck off. jimmy fires his gun

you walk through the endless halls of the ship. the walls are sporting eyes, and all of them are watching you. curly's eye, eyes. watching you. you crawl out of his throat and find him where you bolted him into the ship, half machine, surrounded by tvs

you go to the tv, watch a cartoon. it's mother goose's birthday. you grab the cake and pull out a slice of curly's leg. he'll thank you one day. you twist the knobs until the cake goes down a treat, until he can't spit it back up. he'll thank you one day

there's flesh in the ship and it's beating, bleating, horses like fetuses in the warmth. the blob blinks filmy eyes out at you and screams

polle's talking to you now. backdrop of the cargo hold. backdrop of the skyscreen, set to night. poor you, polle coos in false sympathy, caged and unbelieved

i tried my best! jimmy argues, me and curly both did. but curly's the better man

why are you still so concerned with him?

jimmy carries curly to the utility room. puts him in the pod. closes the door

we're curly again, watching our old friend through the glass

i wanted to help you, but all i did was hurt you. but you're safe now. no one can harm you now. together we can fix anything, right? we fixed it. i.... i fixed it

jimmy walks out of sight. you hear a gunshot. a moment of panic, blind- did he forget? did he leave you here, trapped, alone-

and the cyro kicks in, blue and cool, as the credits roll through your vision

TL;DR RECAPPING

mouthwashing is about a cargo ship crew stuck in space after their ship was purposefully crashed by one of their own. you take turns playing the game 'before the crash' as curly, the official captain, and playing 'after the crash' as jimmy, the co-pilot and unofficial captain once curly is severely injured by the crash. other characters are anya, the ship's nurse, swansea, the ship's mechanic, daisuke, swansea's intern, and polle, the ship's mascot who is only alive in some nightmares

throughout the game you learn that, while he's convinced the others it was curly, jimmy crashed the ship in a fit of desperation after learning that anya- whom he assaulted- was pregnant. the child was evidence he wouldnt be able to hide when they reached their destination, so... why not crash the ship and doom everyone!

the game gets its name from the fact that the only thing the crew was hauling turns out to be mouthwashing, which swansea uses to get drunk, but otherwise isnt very helpful. many good symbolic/metaphorical implications contained in it though!

by the end of the game, all characters end up dead, save for curly. anya commits suicide with pills, swansea mercy kills daisuke after jimmy goaded him into doing something stupid that got him seriously injured, swansea gets shot when going after jimmy, and jimmy kills himself with gunshot after putting curly in a cyropod. it's possible curly wont survive too, but he's the only crew member with a chance at it

the game has Many themes and concepts and such but some of the most important to take away are:

responsibility and complicity. jimmy and curly are the two player characters for a reason; they're parallels to each other. jimmy is the primary/direct cause for most of what goes wrong, but he wouldn't have been able to do everything he did if curly had done his job and stopped him. curly's complicity in jimmy's crimes are what ultimately doom himself and the entire ship. jimmy does everything, curly does nothing, and they are both to blame

the rampant effects of misogyny, in the workplace and general, and how even in issues that are All about them, women are often excluded from their own narratives. mouthwashing is driven by the injustice anya faces at both jimmy and curly's hands, in how jimmy treats her and in how curly refuses to see what jimmy's done because He's An Old Friend, He Wouldn't Do That, Right? yet, despite this, anya is often strikingly absent from the story, especially in jimmy's hallucinations. he's willing to accept the blame, the responsibility for everything... but not anya. he begs forgiveness for wronging curly, but he never even thinks of it for anya. in a story so largely controlled by the mistreatment she faces and everything she tries to do to combat it, anya is constantly sidelined. this is purposeful. this is unreliable narrator at their finest

turning the blind eye eventually comes back to hurt everyone, especially the ones who looked away the hardest. curly does nothing to help anya, only to end up in a position where he's the one entirely at jimmy's violent mercy. see the previously mentioned points

and there is So Much More but those are some base points u can carry away with u whether u read the full debrief or just the tldr :) hope you enjoyed . i am mentally well (lying)

#the cryptid speaks #meri #mouthwashing game #mouthwashing #gods that was so much . no regrets . i need to rewatch mouthwashing #if anyone gets interested in Seeing the playthrough from his reading i recommend markiplier's #and again . any questions . please ask i love to answer :]#answers may be slow considering i did just prioritize this over my actual hw so mind the delays but still #i WILL get to them

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tenaciouschronicler · 22 days ago

Text

December 13 2024 2009

Three Jades? Well I guess that explains the sleeping but not sleeping thing with Jade. Jades dream self is in the same yellow clothing as what is above the fireplice which is wild. Does she own these clothes in real life and why would you pick those for your dream? The robot is very weird. First off why? How does the bed sense her dreams to power this robot and more importantly who made it? Jade tries sleeping in her dream but cant get comfortable because "some sort of invisible force is pressing down on you, a strange feeling of cold heavy metal." So I dont think shes aware that theres a robot that copies her moves.

Taking a look around the place Ive got a couple of observations. The whole room is washed pink from the bed, to the new wallpaper, to the plants and the items on the floor. There are no posters at all and the lights of the selected shirt options are all off. Its very bright outside and the sky is pale yellow, with the sun turning the sheets orange. Lastly, Im just realizing the bed posts kinda look like lathed totems? I dont know if Im just late to the party on that but there ya go.

We get to see the past related to Johns birthday present, which here is signed GT which we come to find out related to Johns previous Chumhandle 'ghostyTrickster'. A few things we learn. Rose and Jade probably had their past conversation in December as well because they talked about birthday presents.

John is the baby of the group (cant relate), Jade is the oldest and Dave and Rose are one day apart. John was one busy guy getting and wrapping their gifts in time but in all his excitement he forgot how long mail takes to get to Jade.

Jade has been harassed for years by these troll accounts, of which she counts 12, and they are the reason John changed his Chumhandle and ruined the friend theme.

We jump back to Present John for a second which is great cause now I can talk about the rest of those drawings in the past.

Every time you reenter your room, you shudder at the recent handiwork of some mischievous imps.

(emphasis mine)

Um, John, buddy how are you only seeing this now? Its been on your wall for months. Im surprised Rose hasnt said anything on this matter...

TT: Are you suggesting that imps are responsible for defacing your movie posters?

EB: uh, YEAH?

TT: Your posters have looked like that ever since I first saw your room.

TT: The moment we started playing this game.

TT: I thought you had defaced them ironically to mock your father's interests.

Not two pages later Rose debunks me letting it be known that these pictures are visible to others. We cannot directly connect these as a Sburb creation because we saw them prior to the game. John is the most likely to be their creator but he 1) would never do that to his posters and 2) somehow blocked their existance until this moment.

Fun little crack theory with this information: What if this is why Dad likes Harlequins? He saw these drawings (theres no evidence he couldnt) and assumed that John was embarrassed about this interest and being the dad that he is decided to show support by decorating the house to show there is no reason for shame? And then sad part about this theory, theres also writing that says 'lame kid' so what if Dad is also trying to boost Johns self-esteem with all his talks? AH wait! Im gonna keep adding to this OMG, what if Dad is corresponding with Dr. Brinner, who he met through the Serious Bussiness chat, because hes a psychologist to get help for John?! Oh man, I am spiraling in these theories.

Ok, ok back to the plot. Rose is not very concerned with her imminent firey demise and has named her new kitten Vodka Mutini. In the back, we can see she barely escaped the explosion as evidenced by the scorch mark on the pink scarf.

After witnessing John have another breakdown, we jump to WV who is attempting to climb down from the station roof. Alas, they are out of rope (cable) and refuses to relinquish their sash. Serenity does some scouting of the conveniently visible cable in the distance.

Its attatched to a harpoon, "This strikes you as convenient! It is almost as if someone knew you would need a bunch of cable". Indeed. Apperifying it is! Unfortunately, the apperifier was still set to the past and instead we get this.

A lovely hand drawn letter from Jade along with the present she just recieved and WVs pronouns. While confused by the envelope contents, WV decides as any mayor worth their salt would "it is obviously critical MAYORAL BUSINESS which you take very seriously and you will defend this package with your life." An absolutely fine mayor he chooses to be.

#me theorizing is essentially like having one of those corkboards with strings pinned between pages #is any of it remotely true? who knows #but im connecting the dots whether anyone belives me or not #homestuck #homestuck replay #hsrp liveblog #hsrp theories #hsrp lore #chrono

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nickelstudy · 1 year ago

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JLPT N1 Experience

So first of all, Happy New Year. It has been a while since I've updated this blog. I've been feeling depressed in the past few weeks, I think it's because of drawing? I feel like I haven't been performing well in art, and that it's hard to accept painful truth that I cannot please everyone- not that it matters on this blog, but it's WHY I decide to take some time to write an update here.

I was supposed to talk about my first experience with N1 but I got busy after. I caught up in many stuff, I guess, plus I was busy with my birthday and helping my family's work throughout the month. But now that it's over, let's talk shall we?

Before That

I haven't talked about my last week strategy, here's what I did.

Stopped learning Kanji and do the drills instead

Finished Shinkanzen Grammar in the first section. I had some days left, so I skimmed through the second section without doing the exercise (I did for A - D i think but- I definitely shouldn't)

Borrowed these two books (pic below). For reading, I did every bit of every question style (there were like 6 of them right? Short passage, Long, etc.)

And for listening, I tried to rush through it but I kinda gave up with the chapter III or IV I'm not sure.

I switched between two of them on the last day

FYI the blue book is actually fantastic! I think I've said it before but it has explanation for each answers. I think it's super cool.

Now For N1

Chapter 1: Before exam

For context, I travelled to the exam location alone, so I wasn't bounded by anyone and I could roam anywhere. I got out early, and arrived there pretty early. But walking from the entrance to the exam spot took a while, to the point where I doubted to myself if I was going in the right direction. There were many people there already. I think the morning peeps had already entered the room when I arrived.

I had lunch and... wander around (Typical Pikmin Bloom player). There wasn't much to do anyway. I decided to take a quick review of some onomatopoeia and other vocabs. I think at that point, nothing is more important than vocabs. It was a while before they allowed us to go up the building. Anyway, I SAW A KID in a highschooler outfit in front of the same room as mine! IM- I DON'T KNOW?? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BE THIS GOOD AT THAT AGE?? And of course we entered the room. I sat not so far from the entrance.

One thing that bothers me is the fact that they never announced to bring a mask but they asked everyone to wear it in the room?? Luckily, I had it on already.

Chapter 2: The Exam

Sorry for the long introduction haha. SO, starting off with vocabs, grammars, and reading. I skipped to grammar secion first because it's not too hard or too easy. It's all fuzzy now but I did okay(?)

There was あっての that's pretty easy. But there was one of them that bugged me and I was wrong on that one too. It's といたしまして... so weird, I didn't expect it to answer that. ALSO, HONORIFIC VERB CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD but i think i answered it right.

Then onto reading section because I was really scared if I couldn't finished it. It- took me a while to finish each of them but in a fair amount of time. It's like 10 minutes left that I switched to doing vocabs with a lightning speed because I FORGOT there was a fill in the blanks and not just guessing kanji's reading.

I almost got 誇張 (こちょう) wrong as こうちょう

There were 奇跡、偏り、矛盾、賄う、軽�� in which i had no problems

Filling the words is where I had problem due to hurriness. I missed the 快挙 cause I don't know the word.

見返り too, because there was a word that I thought it meant (repay) and not the first

I GOT ONOMATOPOEIA WRONG ANYwAY HECC YEA i didn't know what つくづく means so i went with きっかり or きっぱり im not sure

Also there was a sentence that was supposed to mean "His body condition was..." I thought it was "worsen" so I went with 崩れる except no it's the opposite "ほぐれる". I didn't know that word but i've seen it before it's the goodamn spirit's name from the game.

I didn't know what 尺度 means or how it is read but I got the meaning substitution right (yay) (it's standard)

Here's the fun one. デマ... THIS WORD THAT I NEED TO GUESS HOW IT IS USED WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ITS MEANING. I tried to came up with the word this word could come from. Dermatologist? Demand? Theme??? (that's テーマ) I had no idea and got it wrong eventually. Can you guess?

It's "Demagogie", a German word meaning false rumor... WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED. I asked one of my Japanese if she knew. Of course she did. She even gave me an alternative for it too... but I forgot. I only know that's it in katakana (im sorry)

Last minute i left one Mondai randomly answered!

For Choukai, it was so goddamn fast. I am certain that if it wasn't fast, it would be manageable for me. I honestly don't know if I scored it well or not, the last listening part were as hard as ever. ONE THING ABT IT THOUGH, there was a part where they were talking in a cafe about how the shop owner use a coffee beans? I think?

ANd FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT'S WITH THE BACKGROUND MUSIC??? My concentration was popped away, I kept glancing around wondering if what I was hearing was someone's phone or the tape's music. I don't even know what the question really was to be honest.

What's Next?

I- I don't know. I just need to wait for the result. But I'll try to slowly get back to learning a bit Korean and Japanese every day again. Probably need to brush up Memrise and Anki. At least 5 mins a day haha. Thanks for reading til here. Keep on learning! I'll make sure to do my best for learning languages this year too!

I don't have new year's resolution but I guess.. continue ASL? I got busy that I have no time to do it anymore. I doubt if I can do it, considering I'll be busy with internship next academic year.

Anyway, have a great year everyone. Hope you have a good luck and success with studying and anything you are willing to pursue this year.

#JP #JPlog #log #studyblr #should i even tag this idk lol

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2bit-sunshine · 5 months ago

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Hi everyone im danny and im feeling good for once in my twenties. Have been since about may. I cut off an old friend who mistreated my best friend. Ive helped my friends a ton. Im working on a security clearence for work. I am feeling much more confidant driving than i have ever. Ive bern socializing a lot and playing games like i used to. Ive been world building again and spending more time with my dog. Im working on my health and am actually confident in my body in a way i havent felt since i was thin as a waif. But i havent really lost a lot of weight.

The world is bleak and i worry and i hurt and i grieve all the people suffering out there. But right now my life actually feels. Worth it. My life is worth it. I havent thought about how id kill myself in months. I still dont have someone or someones to be intimate with and that hurts as it alwayd has. But im doing better

I am better

Idk. I really thought id be dead this time 12 years a go and i would be too dead to care about anything. I didnt think id be alive before i felt any kind of content or ambition to do more. But here i am. Im feeling content. And i want more too.

I know it sounds cliche at this point. But it does get better. I know it could get worse. But this feeling i have. This happiness? Its worth it. Its worth it to endure the bad times. Because while nothing lasts forever. The bad doesnt last forever either. I think part of it was acceptance of the things i had no power over and the things i could control, i have all the power to do so.

I alsl have amazing friends. I used to think people barely tolerated me and hated me. I spent years being told that if people didnt want me around they wouldnt have me around. I told myself it sometimes but never felt it. Never believed it.

But i do now. I believe it now. You gotta keep telling yourself those words of advice your loved ones give you. They will make sense one day. You will feel them when they are true. Your demons and shadows are not what defines you forever.

I worry so much for my friends who have such troubles still. I worry ill fall back into old habits. I worry some tragic thing is going to show me what im really made of. But it will be okay again. The sun will shine again. The spring will come again, however brief. The birds will sing again. The stars will always shine.

Idk. If youre reading this and having trouble. With yourself or your friends or your lovers or your family. It does get better. It might need time. It might be a long time. Its taken me over 2 decades to feel happy like i imagine i was as a child. And it hurt a lot along the way amd i made so manh mistakes amd fuck ups and lost friends and lovers.

Ive sat by while people get hurt. I wondered if i could even be forgiven for that.

The answer was yes. In a way. And sometimes it was no.

I cant change the past and some things shouldnt have happened. Shouldnt have at all. But they did and here we are. What to do now?

Forward. The only direction that really matters is forward. So forward i go. We go. Youll go.

The most important step is the next one.

You got this friends.

#personal #idk i just wanted to reflect some

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nutzworth · 9 months ago

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its been another month.

DAY 7: APRIL 21, 2024

STATS: read for 1 hour and 30 minutes pages read: 1592-1683. 91 pgs. HELP!!!!!!!!! slur count: 12 + 1 = 13 (dave. r slur) silly count: 12 + 1 = 13 (hussie, about jacks clown garment) (i keep forgetting this stat....) piss count: 2/3

THOUGHTS: since i read literally under 100 pages i wont have much to say hopefully. which is good cus i have school tomorrow and its getting late

summary for this readthrough is regular act 4 shenanigans. lots of pesterlogs. jumping around all over the place. davesprite is there

FIRST MATTER OF BUSINESS: theyre all so cute. theyre all SO ADORABLE!!!! rose and kanaya / john and karkat / john and terezi / dave and terezi / rose and jade / rose and jaspersprite I COULD GO ON. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!! theyre just kids theyre so cute theyre SO cute i love it when they talk

tavros rapped at dave and it was the worst rap ive ever read. like seriously ever. how did he get WORSE at rapping. i swear his rap with gamzee was so much better but we will see. 0/10 for tavros and daves rap

got some wq and pm lore... theyre so awesome. pm really walked up to her queen and was like hey so um i was told i need to kill you. but i dont want to. and thw queen was like yeah okay. im abdicating so you can do this ok. good luck. i love them.... theyre so awesome i love pm so much

jaspersprite is adorable. DAVESPRITE IS HERE. WOOOOOOO!!!!! i didnt expect to see him so soon i thought for sure there was more waiting around between rose and dave in the doomed timeline but damn i guess not. its like heres a flash of the land of heat and clockwork and dave kicking ass then BAM "hey rose i think i will go back in time now" like jesus. thats what fanfiction is for i guess. to expand on their doomed session

the whole davesprite situation is the coolest thing ever and i dont know how else to show that. i think its so awesome. rose dreaming to get her past self to dream earlier. dave going back in time and dropping all his shit then hopping in the sprite. dave and davesprite talking to john. pchooooo as a code for an item. john being crazy

first instance of H3Y D4V3 1S TH1S YOU is here i think. unless im crazy. its between terezi and davesprite which shocks me. unless im crazy

then we get the first hussie cameo and the first recap. WHEW! of course i read it all thats probably why i only read 90 pages. spent half an hour reading ONE page

it was informative though. i learned that the exile labs that the exiles find and have the terminals in ARE REMINISCENT OF THE KIDS' TOTEM ITEMS! TO GET IN THE GAME! like wv's is the WINE BOTTLE CORK. from the crater made by rose's meteor. and pm's is THE APPLE!!! FROM JOHN! johns crater had this big tree apparently and there was an apple. and thats what pm's worms are! theyre WORMS IN AN APPLE! and ar's is the frog temple obviously and wq's is the EGGY LOOKING THING! LIKE DAVE'S EGG! or "seppucrow"s egg i thought that was a funny name to call it

i also learned snowman is the black queen which seems obvious if you think for like more than 2 seconds about the whole thing. like obviously. if spades slick is literally jack noir and slick has a kismesis with snowman and noir has a kismesis with bq then like obviously. what was i even thinking

hussie's blogpost story about his horse painting is awesome. i cant read it right now cus im tired and need to get this out but i will sometime later

will i read again soon? thats for me to know. and you to find out. thanks everypony

#me #nutzworth hs reread #last time i said “maybe ill read during spring break” and i so totally didnt #i was paralyzed with over-break homework #which is cruel. but you know. its what happens.#see you later everyone

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kidmachinate · 1 year ago

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Diablo IV - Things Will Get Better, Right?

Diablo IV was met with much praise upon being released. The game has an 88 top critic average on OpenCritic, and a 96% for critics recommend. This tells a very positive story…however, the people invested in the game past review impressions seem to have an altered version of this tale and it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Let’s talk about it. The campaign is great and refreshing. I think Lilith works as a villain and the whole her vs Inarius struggle front and center is an interesting backstory. Most of which can be understood even without playing the previous games. The cutscenes are amazing and the voice work is well done. It works. Even if you’re only realistically playing the campaign one time and one time only, as the game gives you an option to skip the campaign any time past the first. There also some key fights in the campaign that will be a nod to past games as well that add value for players keeping up over the years. Won’t say what because spoilers. It’s a deep enough story, disconnected from the feel of the past three games, but still had bits to enjoy from the past titles too. It is exciting enough on its own and leaves things open for those upcoming expansions and/or future titles. While people are likely gonna skip campaign after the first time, I like this one much better than Diablo III before it. This is the greenest side of the field. Let’s get into characters. To be perfectly clear, before I get into anything else, I’m not going to paint the same pretty picture many have. While I am still enjoying this game, I debate for how long. A previous (now nonexistent, unfortunately) review I had for Diablo III was titled In and Out of Diablo III. As is stands, and much of this is dependent on what happens with Seasons 1 and/or 2 of the game, Diablo IV may be a similar type of review. I may stay in longer initially than I did vanilla D3, but do I have the same patience to keep trying time and time again hoping the game improved months later? I’m not so sure. Let’s get right back to it because I got slightly sidetracked here. The characters! Another disclaimer, this is my personal take on each character. Barbarian is boring to me but up for consideration for Season 1 or to play the only character I haven’t made yet. No real opinion to offer yet. Sorcerer is my main and level 78. Feels satisfying to play and look at. Every element has a viable build. I originally thought this was the class most balanced, and in the sense of being able to use each element and multiple versions of each, is great. However, it is the weakest class in terms of survivability, they took away an enchantment slot since the beta, resists don’t work which is half the point of the intelligence state, and it doesn’t have the damage to help make up for that. Once you get to the true endgame, you need to play near if not entirely perfect, or wait for your defensive cooldowns or frost nova to come off cooldown. I’m playing and Ice Shards build and thinking about a Hybrid of Blizzard and Ice Shards soon. Druid feels real bad through level 50. It’s too damn slow. I’m just over that now but exhausted from what it took to get there, so I barely touch it. I’ve done less on my Necromancer and Rogue, however both already feel satisfying at early levels. I’ve got a Penetrating Shot and Bone Spear build for the two respectively. Rogue is exceptionally nice with mobility options because you don’t get a horse until Act IV of the campaign. That’s another minus point for the campaign I suppose. The classes I think are mostly okay but need some further tweaks to get to a point where all characters feel fun to play at any given point in the game. Which class is best will be figured out and change over time, but there are clear senses of what is fun and not right now. In the case of the not so fun classes, it feels bad. Sorcerer, which I will now call Sorceress from this point forward (because I have a female char and it was that in D2 dammit) is the most picked class, but stats show people drop the class after a certain point due to what I mentioned above. It’s no good. I hope this changes. I’d love to keep playing Sorceress but I don’t think needed changes will happen before Season 1 drops in less than a month. The character creator, while not in depth, having it at all is greatly appreciated. I have to state another good point. The devs have been very responsive and open to feedback at a surprising level. It almost make you think you aren’t playing a Activision Blizzard game…almost. While not all the changes we may want are implemented yet, there has been quite a few patches and hotfixes since before even the early/retail release, during the period of the open beta. That’s fantastic and a great sign. This does give me hope for the future…even if not immediate. The environment, characters (with changes needed and ever pending), and dev feedback all feel great. I genuinely enjoy and appreciate visually what I am looking at now since Diablo III’s original presentation. While Reaper of Souls made it better, this delivers the environmental feel closer Diablo and Diablo II. I approve highly…but you all reading this know better right? It was getting to this point. This is where the grass starts to get brown or rotten at the core. Part of this…or perhaps a big part of this may be personal preference but hear me out on this. Here’s the other half of the story.

By design, this game was doomed to fail in my eyes for as much as I like Diablo. I am mostly not a fan of open world. It truly takes a great world I’m legitimately interested, or some sense of actual purpose behind what I’m doing. Elden Ring accomplishes this even with its samey dungeons because I may get upgrade materials, new challenges, and a new boss (sometimes). With Diablo IV, most of its dungeons are like Elden Ring dungeons, except even less variety in the dungeons (if you can imagine that) a slight chance of getting something to upgrade your endgame gear and absurd drop rates. It doesn’t feel rewarding and the higher you push in Nightmare Dungeons to get better chances at stuff, feels particularly bad with my favorite class, Sorceress. Build variety takes a hit with Sorceress. You’re restricted to the same defensive options for each build to maybe keep you alive. It sucks. There are microtransactions and they are disgustingly priced, and you already paid for the game upfront. It isn’t pay to win however, so as much as this sucks on principle, it isn’t a huge deal. It’s a much bigger deal for anyone with addictive tendencies and to those people, I’m sorry. This sucks. Personally, I’m more concerned about what the game has to offer. I got sidetracked again while making other points. There’s more to this. Diablo IV leans more towards MMO while keeping the spirit of an ARPG game. I like having the extra stuff to do. Dare I say I even enjoy it? Yeah, I do. I like the world bosses (big group boss fights), world events (normal party size events to kill enemies), even watching terrible groups fail legion events because the are too slow (bigger group, kill groups of enemies in a set timeframe). The problem is when I should be doing either Helltide (sections of the map change in favor of collecting materials and fighting some bosses) to go towards better drops in chests in those areas, or should just simply be running nightmare dungeons because these samey dungeons are pretty much what matters in the endgame, everything else just feels like a chore. I await the important stuff. I suppose I forgot that this is also technically a live service game since it has a season pass and such, so again, by design, probably something I won’t like. Seasonal play hasn’t hit quite yet, so I dunno how I will feel about it. However, live service by design is not respectful of your time. What has to be one of the biggest offenders of wasting your time in this game is the paragon board. I made the decision to redo my paragon board. If you want to respec your character, it costs gold. I think it should be free but fine. No big deal. It refunds all nodes. All 58 of them assuming you have them all. You know what you can’t refund all of? Your 225 total paragon board nodes should you choose to respect. You have to go one by one and they all cost gold. Some you have to click twice to remove a rune attached to a node and then refund the node after removing the rune. Way to not respect a gamers time. I suppose storage is also an issue and gems don’t have their own bag, but they will be addressing this at some point around I think Season 2...so I guess they get a pass because they at least heard and addressed this. It’s not an issue for me. Yet. Play this game with friends if you like it but can’t stand all the in between stuff that mostly won’t matter when you’re doing endgame activities. That’s the best advice I can give. The foundation is here for a greater game (in my opinion) than Diablo III, but we’re not there yet. We need some further class balancing and a Tier 5 difficulty with actual different activities and/or new gear to chase for levels 80-100. By the time I got to this section before posting this review, my Sorceress is level 82. I’m not sure I care to get to 100 other than to say yay, I did it, pretty unenthusiastically. Uber Lilith, the level 100, play perfect challenge only gets you a horse skin. No thanks, I’ll pass. To stick a number on it to help make my point, this is a solid 6.5 to 7 out of 10 game. On days in which lag/rubber banding is a problem, even on people’s higher end PCs, I might even be inclined to put it at lower due to frustration, but I won’t. I think this is fair. If in Diablo III I was in and out of the game because I didn’t care for the overall scene or much at all, Diablo IV is the opposite. I love the overall scene and it is a good campaign, but what remains in the endgame, what matters in Diablo IV is an extension of how some people feel about real life. It’s fine…but you’re just going through the motions hoping it will eventually get better. I’d compare this to relationship you’ve been in too long but this is early in the game’s lifecycle. Things will get better, right? Right? We shall see.

#gaming #review #diablo iv #Activision Blizzard #Blizzard #diablo #live service #mmo #arpg #open world

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rottytops · 2 years ago

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i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....

i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG

anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

#ultra long post talking abt me and my new goals since starting medication #you can also read this as me moaning about being single but. shut up.

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trentskiiii · 3 years ago

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enough for you - mason mount ft. dec

: this was inspired by enough for you by olivia rodrigo (angst- NOT HAPPY ENDING (unless i do a part 2) , only read if u wanna be heartbroken) this is my first fic :((( you wld think my first wld be about trent but ive been thinking about this idea for forever and thought mason would be a better fit :) i didnt do a proofread bcs this took me so long😭

desc: you and mason mount have been in a relationship for around 2 years. you realised that the way he treats u n how u feel everyday in the relationship quickly changes. what will happen when u talk to him about it? WARNINGS: some curse words and then just PAIN PAIN AND PAIN AGAIN.

SHOULD I DO A PART 2 WITH DECLAN RICE?!?!?!?!

you woke up of your sleep. light peeping through the blinds of yours and masons bedroom. you’d move into his house after a month into the relationship. the relationship that you noticed was beginning to deplete, but you never knew why. and you were sure he didnt too. everything changed after the prior 3 years of friendship, when you two met at a coffee shop. cliché right? you two always joked about it, saying it was meant to be. or at least used to. for the past 2 months, he was getting distant. after his away game against real madrid. you turned to his side of the bed, as usual, he was not there. in fact you barely saw him nowadays. only an hour or two before he left the house in the morning, and another few hours when he came home to sleep. you couldn’t help it as a tear streamed down your cheek as you thought about the state of your rs. you took a long, deep breath before wiping the tear and getting up. you made the bed and headed downstairs.

“Morning, babe!” you exclaimed. A bright smile plastered onto your face, as if you hadnt been crying a second ago. You were greeted with barely a smile as he nodded, looking down at his phone. “So whats the agenda for today? Date night’s tonight right? Make sure youre back by 10!” you reminded, praying he hadn’t forgotten about it. You saw his brows furrow as he looked up at you slowly. You knew you weren’t going to like his response. “Shoot, i’m so sorry babe. I made plans with the boys and i dont think theyd like it if i cancelled.” he said blankly. Not a single hint of sorry for you. even though he said it, you knew he didnt mean it. You could feel your heart crack. A straight line down the middle. This was the 5th time he’d cancel consecutively. It’s like you didnt matter to him anymore. You had to say something.

“Cant cancel on the boys. But of course you can cancel on me. Do i even matter to you, Mase?” you asked, genuinely but with a laugh. You didnt want to show how much it hurt you. “Dont start y/n-“ you quickly interrupted him, “Dont, start what Mason? Now i cant even talk to you without it turning into an argument? Answer me, Mase? Do i matter to you?”

“What dumb question is that, y/n/n? You’re my girlfriend, of course you matter? And you’re the one screaming! All i wanted to say was that i’d rather be with the boys-“ Silence. Both of you now staring into each other’s eyes. He knew he fucked up. “Y/n. I didnt mean it that way. Im sorry okay?” he quickly broke the silence as he saw you try to hold back your tears. But failed and it felt as if the whole ocean was pouring out of your eyes as you wiped them away. “You walked up the stairs quickly, hoping he’d follow you, but he didnt. instead, he just picked up his phone and acted as if nothing had happened.

As you sat on the edge of the bed in your shared bedroom, his words kept replaying in your mind. What changed? He was head over heels for you in the beginning of the relationship. Treating you like a princess. Never hurting you and always making sure you were happy. Was he cheating on you? You hated yourself for thinking that of him but what else could you do? You took the hint that he didn’t want to be with you at that moment and quickly packed your essentials into your handbag and grabbed your keys. There was only one person that could help you. Declan. He was both yours and masons bestfriend. But, you knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be with Mason that night because Mason was supposedly hanging out with his other gang. Outside football. You’ve never even met them. For all you knew, “the boys” could have been code for some chick he was shagging behind your back.

You finished packing, sneaking in one of Masons tshirts, not knowing how long youd be away from him. Obviously you would miss him. You pace down the stairs and head towards the front door. “Where you headed, Pie?” he asked innocently. You cringed at his use of your nickname- Pie. He called you that because on your first date, you shared a slice of pumpkin pie at the cafe you two met. “Out.” you replied bluntly, grabbing your car keys. The door slammed behind you as you got into your car, and drived quickly towards dec’s.

“Y/n! I missed you!” you were greeted by a certain someone, with a pair of green eyes and a smile as bright as the sun. You two began catching up with each other on his living room couch.

“How’s Mason? Havent seen him in ages!” suddenly your smile disappeared. Every week without fail, mason claimed to be meeting up with declan. So who was he meeting instead? Why did he lie? Your train of thought was quickly stopped when dec tapped your shoulder lightly. You asked him about it. Confused.

“You sure he said he was meeting me? Havent spoke to him around 2 months? Yeah i think so” you began putting the pieces together. tears started dripping down your beautiful y/e/c eyes. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong, y/n/n?” declan asked as his thumb swiped your falling tear. “i-i-is he cheating on me, Dec? Am i not enough?” you asked, your voice trembling. “What? Of course you’re enough, y/n. You’re more than enough. Don’t ever doubt that.” he pulled you closer as you rest your head on his chest. One of his hands across you chest and another supporting your neck. He chose not to say anything involving Mason because he himself didnt know anything about his situation.

The two of you eventually fell asleep on the couch. You were the first to go after crying everything out. And declan, afraid to move, he also dozed off. you reach for your phone and opened it. Hundreds of messages and notifications. From your friends, instagram, twitter and what interested you most, from mason. One voicemail and 5 missed calls. You clicked open the voicemail and listened.

“Look y/n. Im sure you’ve seen the articles. Where are you? I’ll meet you there and we can talk about it.” you furrowed your brows, confused. So you clicked on y/bsf/n’s message, with a link attached to it. The text below it read, “Im so sorry babe. Call me soon. Im here for you.” Your heart beat growing faster and faster and eventually felt like it was beating at a pace of 1000miles an hour.

“FOOTBALL STAR, MASON MOUNT SEEN WITH ANOTHER GIRL AFTER BREAKUP WITH FORMER LOVER, Y/N” the headline read. what. the. actual. fuck. You sobbed silently for the 4th time that day. and the day was not even half over. But declan quickly woke up to the feeling of tears wetting his tight fit grey t shirt. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Im sure he’s not cheating. We dont even know the fully stor-“ he stopped as he saw the article through your phone screen. “Oh, y/n. Im sorry.” he could only say so much. he knew you were feeling completely shit. If only he could, he wouldve punched the shit out off mason. but he knew it would only make things worse.

———————

A few days passed since then. You were still staying at declans. Every few hours, he would knock on the door offering a glass of water, food or a talk. To which you would decline until he had enough of your stubbornness. “y/n, youre drinking this, then eating this. and im not taking no for an answer.” he said putting a glass of warm water and a bowl of takeout from when he went out earlier on the bedside table. You wiped your remainder tears off your pale cheeks with your hoodie sleeve. and taking a sip of the water before putting it down. “He was my everything, Dec. Why wasn’t i, his? w-wh-what was lacking? am i not pretty enough o-o-or was i not sexy enough? was i not good enough?” you stuttered. you were genuinely confused. all those things he said about you. were they lies? did he mean it? “i wore my makeup the way he liked it. i did everything to make him love me. ever since the day we met, i remember the exact way he liked his coffee. but it wasn’t good enough. the second he found someone more interesting, he left me. did he even love me, dec?” “y/n, of course he did. i still remember the day he met you, he was telling me about your gorgeous eyes, perfect smile, soft hair and the way you laughed. he was in love with you. im sure he still is. Get some rest, y/n. I dont like seeing you like this. and eat up.” he pecked a kiss on ur forehead before leaving the room. declan always understood you. but no matter how much comforting anyone was able to give, you were still hurt. you still cried every minute of the day. only pretending to stop whenever declan checked in on you. the cycle continued. —————-

you heard a knock on the bedroom door.

“im alright declan, it’s okay.” you said, sniffling. it was obvious by the strain of your voice that you weren’t in fact alright. suddenly the door opened. “y/n.” you heard a familiar voice. it wasn’t dec’s.

“what are you doing here? get the fuck out mason. i dont need your explanation. i don’t wanna see you.” you mustered up whatever energy you had in you to say that as you used your hoodie sleeves to wipe your tears again. “my t shirt in your hands says otherwise.” fuck. you were clutching onto the t shirt u snuck into your bag. not anymore as you threw it towards him and it landed on the floor in front of him. “now get out” you ordered again. “i just wanna talk y/n-“ “about what exactly mason? about how you’ve been shagging some blonde chick behind my back. 5 years of my loyalty, my love, ME and so much more wasnt enough for you to stay? you just meet some random slut and leave?” “dont call her a slut y/n. she has a name.” he said sternly. you rolled your eyes and let out a laugh. you were hurt. deeply. “get out mase. i cant be assed talking to you” listen y/n. can we just talk it out like mature adults.” he negotiated. you hated how he was playing the good guy at that moment. and your heart hurt more and more at each of his words. you realised he wasnt there to fix your relationship. he wanted to clear his name. “yeah. because mature adults cheat on the people whos madly in love with them. mature adults lie. i assume you’re only here so you’d stop getting backlash right? because people are hating on you for being a cheater?” you asked rhetorically. you didnt want him to see the other side of you. the one declan had to live with for the week. “you’re one to talk, y/n” mason spoke again. “what are you doing in declans bedroom anyway? seems like you’re comfortable. it’s obviously not your first time here” how dare he. how dare he assume that of you. “what the fuck is wrong with you mason. just fuck off. declans my friend and he was there all the times you weren’t. all the times you were busy in some hotel fucking how many other girls. what exactly do you want from me. i meant nothing to you. everything you said were just lies.” you couldn’t help your tears now. you were basically sobbing. mason just stood there. watching. “Pie, dont cry love. Please dont.” he started walking towards you. “dont call me that mason. you dont mean it. im not your love and neither do i go by pie. please mason.” your tone was lower now. you were basically whispering, your voice breaking. he swiped your tears. “im sorry y/n. you don’t deserve this.”

#mason mount angst #mason mount x you #mason mount x reader #mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount x y/n #enough for you #mason mount blurb #england fc #chelsea fc #chelsea #fanfic #angst with a happy ending #declan rice

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havin-a-wee · 4 years ago

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If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,�� His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

#harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles story #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles blog #harry styles headcannon #harry styles au #dad!harry #one direction smut #one direction fanfiction

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kohiu · 4 years ago

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Q&A - Let's chat!

Hi, it's Kan. Thank you for everyone who has sent me questions since last week, I am also combining this QnA with questions I've received directly before, so brace yourself!

1. What brushes do you use?

Hi!! I mostly use my custom brushes which can be downloaded from my Clip Page. Or simply search for "kohiu" on Clip Studio Profile, in case the external link doesn't work.

Here is how I've customized my G-Pen brush in Clip Studio Paint.

2. I love your poses and compositions! They're always so dynamic and unique. Do you have any particular thought process when coming up with illustrations?

Thank you! I will just repeat this answer from my fanbox: When it comes to personal illustrations (whether fan art or original), I tend to muse from the music I listened to. Which is why I often include "BGM" in my posts! Even with my Goretober book, I don't want to try too hard to commit to the set prompts. I like to break myself from the conventional illustrations I have to work with on a daily basis.

TL;DR: I'm pretty much anti-boredom.

(11 more questions answered under Read More!)

3. Would you ever consider posting speedpaint videos? How about tutorials?

3a. This is more of a request than a question and I am sorry. If you have the time and do not mind would you mind recording or doing more step by steps of your sketchwork or casual drawings? I really enjoy watching processes and from what Ive seen of yours in the past its very interesting. The way you use fill brushes is really neat. Thank you

3b. not a question but I really love watching that one speedpaint you put on youtube ages back (it was just a white haired person in a tracksuit sitting on the ground) and find it inspiring, i hope you'll make more in the future sjdjshffh or if you have uploaded any other ones in the past, can you link them for us??

Hi!! I thought of just combining these questions into just "timelapse video request", but the messages are so nice... So I have to show them here, so thanks! Though I apologize for the textwall for everyone else though.I managed to spend a day to record, edit and upload this timelapse

and semi-explanatory of the tools I used for the illustration. This video is not a tutorial, nor it should apply to all of my works, so keep that in mind!

youtube

Timelapse Video: https://youtu.be/ch-uPze1CII

(if you're seeing ads in the video, let me know so I can replace the video with no sound instead).

4. How did you get into art?

Playing with crayon pencils, doodling at the back of a receipt papers, you know, kid's stuffs. Otherwise, persistence and stubbornness have led me here now today.

5. What did you major in?

I have a Bachelor of Arts in Language and Linguistics.

6. What are your (art) inspirations?

In my younger years, I was most definitely influenced by manga and video games. By the time I got access to the internet, seeing all the independent creators out there, they definitely influenced me from time to time too.

If you're looking for arts recommendation: Check out AKIRA, I love the way they compromised the calligraphy thick brush into their illustrations.

My only most consistent "inspiration" is music. Even the video games and shows, the sole reason why I was so enamored by them was because of the sound design. As I am reaching my 30s, I am finding more experimental music to listen to everyday.I can recommend a ton. For now, I can't stop binging Kamen Rider Zero-One OSTs.It's on spotify!! Wow!! Please watch this show with me!!

7. Do you have any anatomy resources, figurine/mannequin for drawing recommendation?

I bought this Anatomy-kun and Anatomy-chan series just a few months ago! All four of these costed like $25 from a Chinese storefront. I hope you can find a good price, depends on your local store and such. They help me the most in positioning characters in different perspective and angle!

For Anatomy book, I got this one: Anatomy for the Artists by Sarah Simblet. [Store Link].

I'd say my anatomy observation isn't the most accurate out there. I prefer to draw body parts which are considered attractive to me (yeah).

8. Typically, are you more likely to draw with no idea in mind and have that turn into an illustration, or do you go into illustrations with a goal in mind from the start? which is more enjoyable?

It depends!

In commissions, I'd have first to memorize the information given to me, and then coordinate it into my already prior knowledge of the topic. It's a fun challenge for me to work with external direction!

With personal arts, this is also 50/50 in terms of "go wild" vs "work with intention". I can also definitely change my mind in mid-progress, scrap and redo everything over. Either method requires Patience, I don't see which one is considered more enjoyable to me (laughs).

This is also why I'd have to flat out refuse request commission of my typical "sketch page", or "just a rough sketch!", usually refer to my typical personal doodles. It is difficult to price something that is considerably spontaneous in nature. I don't set any certain standards when doodling for myself too. So um, even if they look "so easy" in the audience's eyes, they're... actually... not easy to make.

TL;DR Sometimes I go head empty no thought AND sometimes I want to draw with a structure.

9. Do you have plans to develop your original stories/ideas into anything?

I don't have any plan to develop my original projects into anything yet. I appreciate there is a tiny crowd that keeps an eye on them though!!

10. I've noticed you disabled most reply/message methods on tumblr and twitter. I assumed you might not like it, or something must've happened to you.

Yeah so basically I just quit social media. I've tried to come up with several explanations (or excuses? (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว ), the only consistent reasons are:

- I have zero energy. - Mental health weird. - Is in constant self-quarantine and not touching as much grass as I should.

Friends would come reach me out to ask "why? what happened?" out of concerns. And it'd be, too incorrect to say "oh no nothing happened!!". But, yeah, apparently, right now, having an offline hobby is actually more emotionally rewarding. Eh, on a side note-

If you're long-term mutual or a friend and would like to keep in touch with me pleaaaaase I'd love to have your discord. Come talk to me!! Kinkshame me!!! Email me!! Go to my email address!! (it's kohiu(@)outlook(dot)com OR contact(@)kohiu(dot)com ) (and YES i have to have to add the (@) and (dot) because I get so much spam mails for the span of 2-3 years, theyre SO BAD).But yeah please don't interact with just my public posts bc 99% I will miss those.

11. Do you post your art right away after completion? Or do you prefer to wait for awhile before posting? (Do you collect your arts from a different times before posting?)

With my years of realizing how I'd notice a million mistakes after posting, I prefer to Not post art after completion anymore.

It took a bit of self-discipline, and a private discord server for me to upload drawings I've finished in real-time. It does help a lot! Especially with large paintings that I cannot finish in one-sitting. I totally recommend you to create some sort of private blog platform in which you can keep in check with your progress. Discord server works for me because of how easily searchable it is. I can organize on-going projects in directory, and when I'm done with them, they can be exported with an app called "ExportChatExporter".

Being able to archive things... feels really good....

As of how I operate now with Patreon, Fanbox and Gumroad ebooks. Yes, I do prefer to post collage of drawings I've completed in different times. And these platforms suit me best. With celebratory (fan) arts, I did have to draw them prior to posting date, and sampled and then scheduled the publishing on different platforms. My apologies if it seemed like I was online when my posts were live (lmao), I only check on my posts once I start to schedule another one again.

12. Are you into any video game lately?

On the top of my head. the games I've managed to finish (last year) were Red Dead Redemption 2, Life is Strange 2, Hades, Obra Dinn, and some [redacted] ero games.

Right now I'm glued to Dont Starve (Together), and slowly going through Blasphemous.

13. Been a long time fan of yours but has there ever been times where you wanted to stop drawing?

I thought a lot about this question, and I don't know how to answer this genuinely without sounding grim.

I always have a difficult relationship with arts. One example was around summer last year, I'd break down crying in front of my friends how I'd like to quit drawing altogether, find a job related to my degree instead. Another example is around earlier this year, I reached out to a complete stranger that... went under really difficult circumstances with their arts. We're friends now!! Although we didn't get to find any solutions to our original problem (laughs).

These days I limit myself to post online, and I may one day stop posting arts altogether. I'm at peace with that idea now, I think.

At the very least, I never run out of things to draw.

Q&A ends here.

Those are all the questions I have gathered!! If you have any more questions uhhh, just email me. I will keep my anonymous google form open for now until I decide to close again. Thank you so much for everyone who have helped me this QnA!! I can now go back to sleep _(:3_|

#QnA #QnA2021

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massivedrickhead · 3 years ago

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ive been obsessed with the Olympics and can totally picture beca being an Olympic skateboarder for some reason? please could you do bechloe at the Olympics?

Read on AO3

Chloe knew that the cameras would find her in the stand, so she tried to keep the fear and, let’s admit it, lust off her face.

The fans loved hers and Beca’s relationship, and she knew the commentators would make a point to mention it.

How often did it happen that two Olympic athletes fell in love with each other? Yes, the Olympic village was usually a sex fest, but that didn’t always translate into long lasting relationships.

Not that Beca and Chloe had met in the Olympic village, for one this was the first time that skateboarding was an Olympic event. They had met at a party almost five years ago, introduced by mutual friends, and now here they were. Engaged to be married.

Chloe, at her second Olympic Games, had secured herself 2 medals for swimming - a silver medal in women’s 50m freestyle and a bronze in the 4x100m relay - and now Beca was about to skate in her first Olympic final.

And as calm and collected as Beca looked, rolling her board back and forth beneath her foot, Chloe couldn’t have been more nervous.

And watching Beca lift the bottom of her shirt to wipe the sweat from her eyes, showing off her toned stomach in the process, her tattooed arms visible thanks to her rolled up sleeves, Chloe couldn’t have been more turned on.

Chloe saw her crack a joke at Emily - the other American competitor - and then it was her turn to skate.

There would be three runs, the highest score wins. Beca would be the last to skate each time.

She watched Beca wave at the crowd, and roll her shoulders back a few times.

She had come off her board a few months ago, and Chloe knew her shoulder was still giving her trouble.

And then she was off, moving quickly around the Park course.

A DJ was playing music, but Chloe knew Beca had her own AirPods in, hidden under her helmet.

The commentator was calling out the tricks as she did them, but Chloe couldn’t follow along.

She knew there were some grinds, some flips, some grab tricks, but if she’s honest she’d never quite understood all the names of all the tricks. She’d tried to learn, and Beca had tried to explain it, but it just never sunk in.

Beca’s first run was almost at an end and then the board got away from her, and she hit the ground, skidding on her knees.

Chloe heard her shout of frustration from the stands, so she knew the cameras picked it up too.

Beca got up, grabbed her board, and skated out, back towards the other competitors.

They all patted her back, and Emily gave her a hug and said something that made her laugh.

Chloe watched as she took off her helmet and took a drink, her eyes never leaving the scoreboard.

Her score was okay, not medal winning, but not terrible. Beca nodded to herself, and then shrugged at the camera when she realised it was on her.

Sensing an opportunity, she picked up her board and flashed her ‘Trans Lives Matter’ sticker at the camera, hoping it got on TV before it cut away to the next competitor.

From the stands, Chloe continued to watch her with pride. She watched her talking with her coach and joking with the other athletes, and all she wanted to do was run down there and kiss her.

“Which is exactly why you’ll be in the stands and not sitting with the coaches,” Beca had told her the night before. “How am I meant to concentrate if I know you’re there waiting to kiss me?”

Beca’s second run was up, and this time Beca aimed her wave directly at Chloe. She made a heart sign with her hands that Chloe returned eagerly, before blowing her a kiss.

A few years ago, Beca might have complained that Chloe was ruining her street-cred, but she was past the point of caring about that now.

Her second run went much better, and she stayed on her board the entire time.

Her score shot her into first place, gold medal position.

Chloe was on her feet screaming and cheering as she watched Beca get mobbed by the other skaters. Emily was practically jumping on her back despite being a solid foot taller than her, and the American fans around Chloe were drowning out the commentators.

Once the cheering had calmed down, Chloe saw Beca wipe her face on her shirt again, this time to get rid of tears, not sweat.

This was more than Beca had expected. More than any of them had expected. She wasn’t predicted to be in the top 5, let alone gold medal position.

Chloe knew Beca was aiming for bronze at best. The two kids from Japan were going to dominate it, according to Beca, and Emily was predicted to place higher than her.

Watching the other girls skate was now almost as nerve wracking as watching Beca skate.

Predictably, the two Japanese girls crushed it, but Beca was still holding onto bronze.

On her final run, Emily fell, and remained in fourth place. Beca gave her a tight hug, and a small kiss on the side of the head. Chloe knew better than to feel jealous. They had been best friends for longer than Chloe had known either of them, and they saw each other as sisters.

Finally, it was time for Beca’s final run.

“Come on Beca,” Chloe muttered, not bothering to keep the fear from her face now.

Beca had a shot at gold, she was only a couple of points away. Chloe watched as she glanced over to her coach and nodded, and her stomach twisted.

That nod meant pull out all the stops. It meant trying tricks that were a bit more risky. More dangerous but, if she pulled them off, more impressive.

Beca was guaranteed a medal, but now she was about to find out which colour.

Chloe held her breath as Beca dropped into the course.

It was all going well. Beca was executing her tried and tested tricks without fault, but Chloe knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with that.

She watched as Beca shot up into the air, her knees close to her chest, her hand on her board, as she spun in mid air.

And then as Beca came down, the board slipped from underneath her and she fell backwards, her helmeted head hitting the concrete wall of the drop. Hard.

Chloe didn’t remember standing up and gripping the edge of the railings as she waited for Beca to get up. She also didn’t remember running down the stairs of the stands, pushing past people in order to get onto the course.

She definitely didn’t know how she got down the surprisingly intimidating drop to where Beca was currently lying, but she was at Beca’s side quicker than she thought possible.

She was awake, blinking slowly against the bright sunlight, but she didn’t seem to register that Chloe was there.

“Bec?”

“Don’t move her!”

Chloe turned to see Beca’s coach and the medic hurrying towards them.

“Ow,” Beca muttered.

“Beca!” Chloe said, tears of relief flowing down her cheeks. “You scared me, you asshole!”

With the help of the medic, Beca sat up, and they gently took off her helmet. “I didn’t get gold then?” She asked as they shone a small torch in her eyes

“No,” Chloe said, half crying, half laughing. “But you did make me look like a crazy person. How the fuck am I gonna be able to get out of here?”

“Hey, there are kids about,” Beca said, grinning and gesturing to the other competitors who were looking at her with genuine fear in their eyes. “And TV cameras. You’re gonna get a reputation as the bad girl of competitive swimming.”

“Shut up,” Chloe said. Now that the medics had moved out of the way, Chloe cupped Beca’s face in her hands. “Are you okay?”

Beca shrugged. “I fell off. No biggie.”

“Are you okay, though?”

“Well that depends, how many of you are there meant to be?” Beca asked, before letting out a snort of laughter at the panic on Chloe’s face. “I’m kidding! I’m fine. I’m just hurting a lot, all over.”

“Can you stand, Beca?” The medic asked.

“I think so,” Beca said. Chloe stood and held out her hands for Beca to take. Beca did, and Chloe pulled her to her feet. “You’re so strong.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said.

Beca was a little wobbly on her feet, but she still made sure to wave at the crowd and give them a thumbs up.

“Did I just win a fucking bronze medal at the Olympics?” She asked Chloe quietly, watching the fans cheering after she and Chloe were helped out of the course.

“Yep,” Chloe said, allowing herself to relax a little. “That’s really very sexy of you.”

“I know right?” Beca said, grinning as she draped her arms around Chloe’s shoulder again. “I’ve always said bronze was the sexiest medal.”

“And silver, obviously,” Chloe said as someone wrapped an American flag over their shoulders.

“Obviously.”

“Do you have your Pride flag with you?” Chloe asked.

“Obviously,” Beca said again, grinning as she pulled Chloe over to her bag so she could fish it out.

“Can the cameras see us here?”

“Dunno.”

“Eh, who cares,” Chloe said, before pulling Beca into a bruising kiss.

#bechloe #bechloe au #bechloe fanfiction #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fic #bechloe one shot #au #beca x Chloe #bechloe prompt #pitch perfect fanfiction #pitch perfect fanfic #pitch perfect #fanfiction #fanfic

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angstysebfan · 4 years ago

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What’s Done is Done - Part 2

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Requested by: @joannie95

It’s been 3 months since you moved out of the tower. You still went on missions with the team, and would go there to train during the week, but other than that, you stayed far away. Wanda and Nat would meet up with you for girls nights, and you would hang out with Sam frequently, but all out of the tower. You didn’t know this, but Bucky was miserable not seeing you. The only times he got a chance was briefings and a few missions. You begged Steve and Tony to keep you on separate missions, unless the whole team was needed.

The whole team gave Bucky the riot act after you moved out. He knew what he did was stupid, but he just couldn’t understand how a beautiful and kind woman such as yourself could love him. You had helped relieve the nightmares, but after a mission where you were being openly threatened to get a reaction out of him, he just didn’t know what else to do. He thought you would break it off after being threatened because of him, but no. You told him it wasn’t his fault, which just made the guilt even worse.

He knows he went about things all wrong, and he knows the longer he waits, the worse things will be. However, out of respect for you, no one will tell him where you are. Even FRIDAY is keeping it confidential. He tries to follow his friends, but it’s like they know he would be doing it and make sure that they don’t go near you. He just wants to apologize and beg on his knees for forgiveness. He is lying on his bed on morning thinking of begging Steve for information when there is a knock on his door.

After alerting the person they can come in, Sam enters with an annoyed expression. “Listen, Y/N is coming to the tower today. This is the first time he is coming to hang out with the team, and you better not ruin it. You have done enough. Got it?” he sneers at Bucky. Bucky sighs, “Sam, I told you everything. I want to apologize to her. I get it if she won’t take me back. Just please let me apologize to her,” Bucky begs.

Sam shakes his head, “If she lets you then fine. But don’t be afraid if she doesn’t. She is finally getting back to her old self,” Sam says before leaving the room. Bucky quickly flies out of bed to shower and change. He makes sure to wear your favorite shirt of his, hoping that will get your attention. He heads out to the common room and hears everyone talking. His heart pounds when he hears your voice, but quickly drops when he hears what you announce to the room.

“Everyone, this is my boyfriend Tommy,” you say with a large smile, while holding Tommy’s hand. Sam gets up and shakes Tommy’s hand as he looks behind him to see Bucky’s fallen expression. Although Sam is pissed at Bucky, he somewhat feels for the guy, but then thinks he deserves it. You continue to make introductions with the team before you finally turn around and see Bucky. Tommy looks up at the man, not realizing who he is and goes to shake his hand. “Uh... Tommy, this is... Sergeant Barnes,” you say nonchalantly.

Bucky looks at you when you address him with his title, and his heart breaks slightly more, but he knows he deserves this and more, so he keeps his mouth shut and jealousy pools throughout him. Bucky shakes Tommy’s hand, and makes sure to squeeze just a little too hard, which makes Tommy flinch. You pull Tommy away and into the common room with the rest of the team, hoping Bucky will just leave, but of course he doesn’t.

The team is asking how you guys met, and how long you had been dating. Suddenly Bucky’s voice pops up, “So... have you fucked yet?” he asks. You look at him with wide eyes. Tommy clears his throat, “Uh... that’s kinda personal Sergeant Barnes,” he says, looking at you. You squeeze Tommy’s hand, trying to tell him to ignore him. “Well if you need pointers, I know all the things Y/N likes in the bedroom so,” Bucky says like he is talking about the weather.

“Bucky!” you yell. He just shrugs his shoulders like he hasn’t said anything wrong. “Tommy, please ignore him. He is an asshole,” you say glaring at Bucky. He gives you innocent eyes, and you can’t help but want to laugh because he looks adorable, but you shake your thoughts away. “Well, maybe we should just go, if this is how today is going to go,” you say standing up. You hear the group begging you to stay and yelling at Bucky. “Doll, I’m sorry. I’ll stop,” he says with pleading eyes.

You nod and sit back down, getting back into easy conversation with the team, trying to ignore Bucky. You kept looking over at him and he would give you a small smile each time, that would make butterflies form in your stomach. You scold yourself because he hurt you so damn bad, but your reaction to him cannot be helped. Especially since he is wearing your favorite shirt. You love the way it fits on him, showing all his bulging muscles. It’s like he did that on purpose, but you know he doesn’t care about you.

After spending the afternoon, you and Tommy take your leave. You say goodbye to your friends and are heading out when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around to see Bucky, “Uh... I was hoping maybe we could talk.” You shake your head, “I... I don’t think I’m ready to talk Bucky. Don’t you have a date with some slut or something to get to?” you ask before going to walk away. Bucky grabs your arm, “If you think that man could ever make you feel the way I make you feel, you are only joking yourself,” he says in a jealous rage.

You yank your arm away, “You’re right. He doesn’t make me feel the way you did. He is so much better,” you say before walking away. Bucky just stares at you, wanting to run after you. He didn’t mean the talk to go that way, but his jealousy got the best of him. Sam glares at him as he walks past, “Told ya not to get your hopes up Barnes,” he says before walking away.

A big mission came up a few weeks later. The whole team was brought it, which you hated because that meant Bucky was going to be there. You did your best to just ignore his existence and focus on what Steve and Tony were saying, but you felt his eyes on you. Once the briefing was over, you go get dressed in your kevlar suite and start grabbing all your weapons before heading to the quinjet.

You make sure to sit on the opposite side of the jet from Bucky, getting yourself psyched for the mission. Nat walks over to you, “You doing alright?” she asks. You look at her and smile, “It’s my job, I’ll be fine,” you respond. She nods and walks up to the pilot seat as Sam walks over, “If you want I’ll shoot him from the sky and say it was an accident,” he says making you laugh. “No, it’s ok Sammy. I’ll be fine,” you say giving him a hug.

Steve calls everyone over to go over the game plan 1 more time. You and Nat were the ones to get into the computer to upload several files we were after. It was Steve, Bucky, and Wanda’s job to get you there. Sam, Tony, Clint, and Vision were to maintain the outside parameter. Bruce was to stay onboard unless he was needed to go green. You all nodded in understanding and got ready to to disembark the jet.

Once the jet landed, Steve, Bucky and Wanda went out first, followed up Sam, Tony, Clint and Vision. You and Nat came out last waiting for the all clear sign to enter the building. Once you were inside, you both followed the map, given to you, to get to the computer. You didn’t come across too much action while inside, maybe an agent here or there, but they were dealt with quickly.

“Almost seems too easy, right?” you ask Natasha, who nods in response. You both finally make it to the computer room and Nat sits down to start the upload, which will take about 10-15 minutes, while you stood guard. After almost 10 minutes, and no one was trying to stop you you turn to Nat, “Something is not right,” you say. You try your comm to call Steve, but there was nothing.

“My comm is out, what about yours?” you ask Nat. Nat also tried to call out to the team with no response. Once the upload was done, you both start to head out the way you came. As you turned the corner, you come face to face with 15-20 HYDRA soldiers with their guns drawn. You and Nat both draw your weapons ready for a fight. It took all of 2 seconds for all hell to break loose.

You and Nat are working seamlessly side by side, until you feel a sharp pain in your ribs. You look down and see a knife sticking out of your torso and you drop to your knees. You already know your lung has been punctured, but you keep trying to fight, as breathing gets harder. Nat turns and looks and sees you down, and fights hard to get to you.

You are then kicked down and collapse on the floor. You hear Nat yell, but don’t hear what she is saying. All the chaos around you sounds so far away. Suddenly you feel yourself being lifted off the grown, “Y/N, open your eyes, Doll. Open your eyes,” you hear, but you can’t seem to open them. They are just too heavy.

Bucky runs back to the quinjet with you in his arms. He is panicking, as you are unresponsive. He brings you to Bruce, you immediately sets you up on a machine, and they see the faintest heart beat. Bucky holds your hand, begging you to be ok. Bruce asks someone to take Bucky away, which Steve does. Sam is being held by Nat, as he is also freaking out, as Tony flies the jet home.

“Steve, I need her to be ok. Please, I need her to be ok. She needs to know... she needs to know,” Bucky says as Steve hugs him to keep him away from you. “Know what?” Steve asks, trying to get Bucky to calm down. “She needs to know that I never stopped loving her. I was stupid and didn’t think I was worthy of her. She could have died because of me and I... I didn’t think I deserved her. I’m sorry... I’m so fucking sorry,” Bucky says sobbing.

Steve holds onto Bucky, as he is still trying to get to you. Meanwhile Bruce has you hooked up to oxygen and an IV and regulates your heartbeat until you can get to the compound. Bucky looks helplessly at your pale skin, thinking how you could possibly die without knowing that he really did love you. That he didn’t mean to break your heart. That he wants to die, instead of you.

Part 3 coming soon! Happy New Year Everyone!

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @bestofbucky

Story Taglist: @calwitch, @jaysayey, @shamelessfangirl-3, @tcc-gizmachine

#Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader

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hello-yue-here · 4 years ago

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thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

#liv talks about writing #liv talks ab fanfic #liv wips #liv fics #i love sharing my writing #especially when i have a bit of a block going on with well.... every fic #maybe this will give me inspiration!!!#i love sharing my writing im proud of these little snippets and i hope you all likes them as well :)#atla #avatar: the last airbender

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calmspirited · 3 years ago

Text

been a long time I've been here. a lot has happened. ill detail a bit what has happened in my life under a read more, but for those who don't have time -

tl;dr - lots of personal changes, ups and downs, moving away from dbd in general and dbd rp, may, *may* try fortnite rp, no promises, i'm going to leave my blog and sideblogs and start over with a new blog when i make it

this is super duper long under here. long and rambling and chock full of improper grammar

hello! i guess my departure from here started when the great porn ban hit tumblr. just really didn't vibe with their decision and stepped away for a while. during that time, I realized that it felt really nice not having to worry about rp'ing with everyone (and you all were wonderful!) and that in general, it felt like a job that i wasn't happy doing anymore. i realized dbd rp had become... tiring for me.

it was so long ago - over 2 years ago! I do remember getting a part-time job round that time, so that was another reason why I never really returned. biggest thing was my mother got sick around this time 2 years ago. she never got better and passed away in June of 2020. we really thought she just had a cold she couldn't get over and bad arthritis pains, but suddenly her health absolutely tanked and just 2 weeks after going into the hospital for the first time, she was gone. turned out, she had had insidious caner for years and never knew it, but even besides that, all of her health issues had suddenly magnified tenfold and it was too much.

my mother was a very important figure in my life, and her death was very unexpected and sudden and traumatizing. I remember being scared and anxious to go into "her" parts of our home for months. back then, I had briefly thought about coming back here - I was giving tumblr another chance - but when she got sick that got thrown out the window. i really didn't think about tumblr for months after her untimely death.

but her death led to the start of a lot of changes. she had been needing some home care for several years that I had done myself, and suddenly I found myself with a lot of free time and new opportunities. i signed up for full-time community college, and at the end of this year I hope to have an Associates in Business Administration, along with several management, accounting, and bookkeeping certificates. I got my first car in August of last year, and that has led me to get 2 part-time jobs and be semi-financially independent! that has always been a big goal of mine. im super glad to have these jobss since my eldest sister, who i live with and who supports me financially, had some serious heath issues of her own this past christmas and was out of work for almost a month, and i had to help with the bills.

since may of last year, i slowly started developing health issues. im not going to get too personal, but ive developed hormone, painful skin and auto-immune issues that has made me feel not too hot these past few months. im just starting to see the light at the end of that tunnel, and i'm looking to begin working with a specialist who can help me identify what is triggering my issues (it seems to be centered around food-they're thinking I have some sort of broad food sensitivity). its a slow process, but im beginning to have times where i feel... good. great, even. it's the start of a long journey for me.

While I still play DBD on occasion, i no longer support the game as much as I used to. ever since the pinhead nft debacle, ive lost all faith in the higher ups of BHVR and have come to realized just how scuffed and uncared for the game is. For the first few years, while the game was bad, you could tell while they were confused, they had the spirit and passion to at least try and make the game good. over time, it's clear they don't intend on strengthing the game to its full potential and are using it to make money.

(dont get me wrong, i love the aestheics and visual aspect of dbd - its the higher ups that have made it this way)

the pinhead nft episode was really it for me in concerns of loving dbd. i no longer support the game financially and can't really love a game whose developers blatantly mislead people and do not disclose the info that the purchases of one of their character will fund nfts until it is just too late to ask for a refund. trust me, that was on purpose. that was super scummy and really speaks volumnes about their goals. the only people i blame for that is the people up high enough to make these decisions, because i know several art designers at BHVR who worked on pinhead were shocked and dissapointed that their work was used for nfts.

I actually couldn't play dbd after they did a big graphical update sometime in late 2019 on my laptop, and i ended up trying out a few other games with a couple of friends. I somehow ended up getting into Fortnite summer of 2020. this also relates a bit to my mothers death, due to the fact that when she died, i had more free time at home to play games with others. I started playing loosely in Chapter 2, Season 3, and really remember being hooked by the end of the season into Season 4. While it was a silly, cartoon style battle royale game, I just ended up really vibing with it.

I've met a lot of new friends in fortnite, and have honestly had a lot more fun with Fortnite than I had with DBD. I finally got myself a real beefy PC this past December and have only played DBD a handful of times on my own. took me a long time to re-install it, too. say what you want about fortnite and it's average 12 year old playerbase (there are SO many of them its unreal) - theres real passion and good quality lore and events behind it the game's surface. it drew me in.

fast foward to now. I've started hanging around tumblr more these last few weeks and months and have thought about coming back... just not to dbd. dbd is not "it" for me anymore. it has lost its appeal, its fun, its passion. i have seriously considered picking up fortnite rp - if there is an actual serious fortnite rp community lol, haven't looked (is there even actual rp going on in tumblr anymore?). either way, if I do start rp'ing again, it will be in fortnite more than likely.

I have not only this blog, but several different rp blogs attached to this account. I'll reblog this post there soon and also the link where I will be making my new blog, wherever and whatever it may be. (note: this text editing is super cool)

I do intend on one day logging out of this account and then eventually never logging back in. That day will be one day, but not today. Before I log out of this completely, I will make a new blog and post the link where I will be. while i may find my old rp stuff semi-cringe, i know people did somehow enjoy my writing and I will NOT be deleting my account. Ever. I hate it when people do that.

I want to thank everyone for supporting me throughout the years, even if we were once friends and no longer are or have not spoken in years. I'm bad with keeping up with people once I drop from a social circle. my life has been a crazy journey these past years and it has all contributed to who I am today, which is someone I'm proud of. a lot of stuff has happened, and it is time I begin anew and wrap up this final part of my life that has been dragging its feet behind me.

if you have taken the time to read this, thank you. truly. to those who have followed me but have never interacted, take this as a hello and a thank you. even if no one interacts with this post, im glad to have gotten it off my chest. its been on my mind for a long time to move on.

I will make a new post when I make a new blog, and share the new link. I will also update my contacts soon (will make a note on the contacts page that it is up-to-date). As for my writing blog, I'm not quite sure what I will do with that. I actually have dreams to become an actual author, but whether I remake it, transfer it to a new site, or leave it altogether, I will announce it here and over there.

if anyone from... here, i guess, wants to get in contact, do not be afraid to message me. just keep in mind after i post the link for my new blog, you will have to message me over there as I will pack up shop completely. I probably will not remember who you are at all, but I do enjoy talking to people. I don't know when I will be making the new blog, but it will probably be within a month or so.

so... once again, thank you. while I was here, I had fun. but now, it is time to smoove on.

~Catch you on the flipside,

Jek

#fortnite #{ higher forces } mun #im so happy tags have autofill lol #but yeah!!! i do be moving on #my life changed so much here #but it is time to go to the next chapter #fortnite haha #dont know it til you try it. but definately watch out for the 12 year olds #theyre vicious #dbd #you never know #see y'all soon!

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