#this fucking commentary team can we kill pat already also

[happyendingsong]

okay maybe we get long form storytelling and we get bianca winning at mania so we can get triple threat biancajadenaomi at summerslam. please.

[kaistarus]

Just A Line Without A Hook

Pairing: Hinata X Reader

Words: 5.9K

Summary: You and Hinata share your point-of-views during important milestones throughout your relationship.

A/N: This is a full relationship development and I’m very proud lol hopefully you can find some joy in it :3

Masterlist // Ko-Fi

Hinata was weird.

That lurked in your mind as you leaned on a conspicuously sticky bar table listening to him tell you his entire life’s story. Your original intent for the night had been to quickly pop into Yachi’s birthday party since you worked at the butt crack of dawn. Give her the present and maybe have a drink. Whatever you did it was meant to be fast.

Too bad you had never been good at sticking to plans.

“I moved to Brazil right after high school to learn beach volleyball,” Hinata said, his smile soft as he looked longingly in the distance. “But I didn’t explore as much as I should have. I really want to go back.”

“Out of high school?” You cocked your head to the side, “that’s wild. I moved to Tokyo and still felt completely out of place.”

“Well, it didn’t go too hot at first.” He scratched his cheek. “I actually got my wallet stolen my first week there…”

You fought to keep lips from pulling into a smile.

There was something in the carefree way he carried himself that made it hard to turn away. The moment Yachi introduced you there was an odd sense of comfort that washed over you. Which made no sense because you had known absolutely nothing about the guy-aside from him being a professional volleyball player and attending high school with Yachi.

Still, it was no reason to let your guard down.

“Sounds like they took advantage of the clueless foreigner,” you teased, curious butterflies tickling your abdomen when he pouted. “I’ve always thought Italy looked cool. If I could travel somewhere.”

Hinata’s lips mindlessly curved into a relaxed smile as you spoke, as if that was their default expression when not preoccupied. And it made conversation with him easy. It dissipated your usual anxieties about overthinking every action or word. You truly felt like you could be yourself and just exist within his presence.

“I have a friend in Italy!” Hinata said, elation lighting up his amber eyes. He began drawing circles in the condensation of his glass with an awkward laugh. “I think anyway. He travels all over the place, but he was in Italy last I knew.”

“That’s so cool,” your jaw went a little slack. You didn’t know people actually did stuff like that.

“Yeah Noya’s the best,” Hinata nodded resolutely. “He visited me for a while in Brazil. I taught him some Portugese and we played beach volleyball. He was so jealous everyone called me Ninja Shoyo. It was awesome.”

Hinata could speak Portugese? Ninja Shoyo?

So many questions…

“What’s a Ninja Sho-” You began until your phone lit up after receiving a message and you realized just how late it was. “Oh my god, I have to go.”

“Wait,” Hinata interrupted you mid-frantic scrabble to zip your jacket. You furrowed your brow at the smartphone he placed unlocked on the table between you. “Could I-uh-you know… talk to you again sometime?”

You blinked a few times before swiping the device off the bar’s gross table. “Yeah,” you said, a warmth you didn’t recognize filling your chest as you created your contact. “I’d like that.”

An absentminded smile painted Hinata’s face after you waved good-bye and when you stepped outside beneath the light snowfall you realized your lips were curved to match. But there was still too wide a gap between how little you knew about Hinata and how much you desired to be close to him. That new part of you burned too bright in your chest to be ignored.

And you would simply have to change that.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata huddled in the corner of the gymnasium over his duffle bag, staring at his cellphone in case he received a last second message. His eyes flickered between the ticking clock above the bleachers and his phone’s black screen, stomach sinking as the seconds passed. He anxiously unlocked his phone to scroll through and analyze his last conversation.

Had he said something wrong? He supposed he’d never actively tried to flirt before, so it wasn’t unlikely he offended you somehow. He furrowed his brow and chewed on his thumbnail, rereading his last message. Maybe he overdid it with the emojis?

Wait, were you at work? You could also just be busy. Maybe he was just overthinking everything…

“Why are you crouched in the corner like a creep?” Atsumu crept up behind him, eyeing him suspiciously.

Hinata jumped, shoving his phone back into his duffle bag. “Nothing.”

“Bull shit. You’ve been acting off for weeks,” Atsumu squatted to Hinata’s eye-level and leaned forward with a sly grin. “Someone’s keeping secrets.”

A warmth rushed to Hinata’s face. He was a terrible liar if questioned directly. “I wouldn’t keep secrets from you guys. I mean, we’re practically family now.” he chuckled unconvincingly.

“Right,” Atsumu gave him a once-over before standing. Hinata let out a relieved sigh that he’d been spared for now.

“What’s happening over here?” Bakuto boisterously called out while skipping over to the boys. Sakusa trailed behind him with his hands shoved deep into his sweatpant’s pockets.

“Hinata’s lying out his ass.”

Hinata whipped around toward Atsumu with his jaw slack. The audacity of this guy. “I am not!”

“The guy’s zoning out at practice, making heart eyes at his phone, and fucking notre daming over his duffle?” Atsume raised his brows at Hinata. “Either he’s getting scouted for a different team or he’s dating someone.”

“You’re leaving the team?” Sakusa asked monotone, as if he couldn’t care either way. If Hinata wasn’t used to the constant monotone he’d be offended.

“No,” he denied, qualming Bokuto’s prepared puppy-dog eyes. “And I’m not dating anyone.”

Which wasn’t a lie. You were nothing more than a friend at this point. Even if his heart ignited a flame anytime your name crossed his mind.

“A crush then,” Atsumu waved him off. “Either way a massive Hinata life development you lied to us about.”

“I didn’t lie, I just,” Hinata wrinkled his nose while thinking of ways out of the predicament. “I think Shugo is calling to start practice. We should probably-”

“You’ve got a crush?” Bokuto’s eyes appeared to sparkle when he flung an arm around Hinata’s shoulder. “Who is it? Do we know them? You don’t need to sweat Hinata I’m an excellent wingman.”

Hinata waved his hands in front of him. “You don’t know them and it’s okay. You really don’t have to-”

“Oh, don’t be so considerate. We’re offering our services Hinata.” Atsumu said smugly while Bokuto nodded excitedly.

Hinata forced a half-smile. This had been exactly what he wanted to avoid. If his feelings were just a measly crush he would have gladly brought them up to the guys, but they were way more extreme then that.

“I’m not offering anything,” Sakusa raised his brows slightly in Hinata’s direction before walking off. “Good luck.”

“Buzz kill.” Atsumu pouted.

“Look, this is more complicated than you guys realize,” Hinata brushed Bokuto’s arm off his shoulders. “I can’t really explain it, but I don’t think you guys can help me.”

“Hinata, it’s okay. We all have our faults. Some more than others, but we’re here for you.” Atsumu patted his shoulder understandably and Hinata shot him a glare.

“Akaashi always tells me to ‘just be yourself’.” Bokuto nodded proudly, clasping his fist with determination. “Then you’ll attract the people who are meant to be in your life.”

Hinata blinked a few times. That… was really good advice.

“That’s stupid,” Atsumu scoffed. “You gotta stalk them on all social media. Analyze their personality and figure out exactly what they're into. Learn their ins and outs and become their type.”

That… was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

“I don’t know Atsumu, that sounds kind of wrong,” Bokuto tapped his chin and Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed deeply.

“Okay, but numbers don’t lie and I have the highest success rate.”

Bokuto and Hinata tilted their heads mulling that one over. No. It still seemed dumb.

Hinata zoned off as Bokuto and Atsumu began debating the morals of online stalking and the value of Akaashi’s opinions. He already knew that if he wanted real help picking apart the fire in his chest he’d have to talk to someone who’d take him seriously like Yamaguchi. Then he’d actually get to dissect the confusing emotions in his heart-look at them from all angles.

Learn to understand them and tend to them properly. Help them grow.

He watched Atsumu chase a cackling Bokuto around the gym until their captain Shugo scolded them. Hinata smirked. Even if they weren’t the most helpful he still appreciated knowing he had people willing to help him... in their own way.

*******************************************************************************************

You and Hinata spent the majority of your free time together, but even after several months it was nothing more than two friends placing comfort in each other’s company. Most Thursdays it was normal to find Hinata lounging on your living room sofa. He watched some volleyball commentary video on his cellphone, legs propped lazily on the armrest, while you answered work emails at your coffee table.

On a normal Thursday night you would continue whatever show you’d been watching-currently Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-but tonight you were stuck finishing last minute work. You heaved a sigh and glanced over your shoulder at Hinata, his breathing relaxed while his eyes flickered across his phone’s screen.

You weren’t oblivious to your feelings. Maybe at first you were able to brush them off as excitement about a new friend, but they had shifted into something intense. Always festering in the forefront of your mind throughout your daily routine.

It became obvious when you noticed you spent more time counting the freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose than focusing on conversations. When you realized you spent more time at work trying to pin-point the exact shade to call his hair than getting actual work done. Even more so when your heart would do acrobatics at the sound of his voice whenever you talked on the phone.

No matter how you looked at it, it became impossible to deny.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You looked back again and Hinata’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern, his earbuds pulled out and phone placed on his stomach. 

“Yeah,” you half-smiled and he raised his brows to show he clearly didn’t believe you. You let out a breathy laugh, breaking the eye-contact to lean back against the couch and place your head on his bicep. “I’m just thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, a hand gently placed on the crown of your head.

“Shut up,” you said with no bite behind your words.

He snorted, rubbing his thumb against the top of your head. “...what if I was also thinking?”

“That’s probably more dangerous than me thinking,” you laughed, rubbing your socked toes together with a soft smile. When he didn’t respond you twisted around to check on him, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Hinata?”

“Nevermind.”

You gripped the couch cushion for support as you leaned in slightly. There was no way for you to be sure, but you could have sworn Hinata was blushing.

“What were you thinking about?” You questioned. Your heart was beating a million times a second in your chest and there was something akin to hope burning beside it.

Hinata looked in your eyes challengingly, “what were you thinking about?”

“You.”

He seemed taken aback by your bluntness, but brushed it off quickly. “I want to kiss you.”

Your eyes widened. It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room as you stared into his hopeful amber eyes.

“Well, do it then.” You responded, barely above a whisper. Hinata took a while to process, but once he had his face lit up crimson.

His hand cradled the side of your face and you watched him carefully, allowing him to make the moves. You kept your mind blank so as not to overthink the situation, but you hoped at least one brain cell was functioning enough to get you through it.

The kiss Hinata pressed against your lips was a little too hesitant, too off-center, and too brief. Yet the beaming smile he gave you afterward sent your heart into a frenzy unlike anything you’d ever experienced. The dopey smile on your lips felt too embarrassing and you buried your face against Hinata’s chest.

After a little coaxing with promises of television and snacks you peeked back up, happily met with Hinata’s dazed smile. The rest of the night was spent wrapped in each other’s arms and supplying random kisses because ‘they definitely needed practice’; ending with Hinata falling asleep in your bed for the first, but definitely not last, time.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata hated being sick.

He hated fighting through a thick fog to collect words when stringing together sentences was usually effortless. He hated the pounding headaches following any light reaching his unfocused eyes. And Hinata especially hated his fit lungs struggling through breaths that came out raspy and weak through his aching throat.

Nothing good came from being sick. It was a lesson he learned long ago.

“You need to sleep,” you whispered against the crown of his head, your fingers carding gently through his sweaty locks. He nuzzled the tip of his nose against the cool skin at your collarbone while gripping your shirt at your shoulder.

Unfortunately, you were making it really hard for him to hate anything anymore.

“You’re going to get sick,” he pointed out, voice scratchy from his throat’s soreness.

You hummed dismissively, planting a small kiss on the top of his head. “My immune system’s pretty strong.”

Hinata knew it didn’t work that way, but was too selfish to argue your flawed logic. The bare skin of your neck helped chill his overheated forehead and he cuddled ever closer into you, twining your legs together. He wrinkled his nose when he realized how gross his fever was probably making him.

He’d have to wash your sheets and stuff when he was feeling better.

“I wish I could kiss you,” he pouted.

“That one’s gonna have to wait,” you chuckled lightly, beginning to rub soothing circles into his lower back. The vibrations from your voice sent a pleasant shiver down Hinata’s spine and the corners of his lips lifted. “You know, you’ll get better faster if you sleep.”

“But I wanna stay awake with you,” Hinata whined, lazily beginning to trace designs on your shoulder. The world was so cruel.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” you said, barely above a whisper. Hinata grumbled a nonsense of a response and you chuckled lightly. You fell silent for a long enough period that Hinata began believing you fell asleep before him until you asked, “can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” Hinata yawned, snuggling against your chest. “I love secrets.”

Silence enveloped his apartment again and Hinata almost dozed off.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

He blinked himself back to consciousness while the words rolled over in his mind. He froze. The fast paced rhythm of your heart was the only source available to keep him grounded as his foggy brain worked to unpack your words.

Love?

He glanced up to meet your nervous eyes paired with flushed cheeks. He stared in disbelief while you continued to patiently wait for his reaction. This better not be some sort of fever induced hallucination.

“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he said, eyebrows creased. Aside from his mom and Natsu, obviously, but he figured you’d know what he meant.

The corner of your mouth lifted into a hopeful half-smile. “Well, I’m honored.” Your touch was gentle as you brushed the hair back from his forehead. He subconsciously leaned into your touch with a wondrous stare and his eyes scoured your face for his answer.

Except you were the answer.

“I’ve never been in love before, but…” He struggled for the right words-any words-settling on what he could piece together at the moment. “I feel like things are better when you’re here. Like, I can do anything I hope to and more. I just feel happier when I’m with you and it’s easier and everything makes sense…” He wrinkled his nose. “Is… is that love?”

You cradled his fevered cheeks tenderly. “I think that’s for you to decide Hinata.”

He nodded to himself. “Okay,” he said determinedly. “Then yeah. It is, I love you, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad,” you smiled, looking at him with an affectionate stare that set his heart ablaze. He took a deep breath before disappointedly letting his forehead drop to your chest.

“Fuck, I want to kiss you so bad.”

You let out a bubble of laughter, rubbing your thumbs tenderly against his cheeks. “We’ll make up for it plenty when you’re feeling better.”

He tried to hold back a smirk, but failed. “Fine.”

“Now go to sleep,” You ordered, planting a quick peck to the top of his head.

He grumbled half-assed as he situated himself more comfortably, but Hinata was all talk at this point. His eyelids were heavy with sleep and his heart hummed with contentment. He was in love. A smile dusted his lips as he began drifting off.

Maybe being sick wasn’t so bad after all.

*******************************************************************************************

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at your boyfriend across the couch chowing down on take-out sushi. Hinata’s eyes were glued to the television’s screen, his hand alternating between shoveling food into his mouth and rubbing mindless circles on your shin across his lap. Things were comfortable, easy, perfect some might even say.

Too perfect.

“Why aren’t we fighting?”

Hinata turned, cheeks stuffed with food and eyebrows raised with surprise. Under normal circumstances you’d consider it adorable, but you wanted to be serious.

He swallowed with a wince before raising an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“No, but we’ve been dating for a while and we haven’t had the big fight.”

“We fight all the time,” he placed his plate on the coffee table with a roll of his eyes. You huffed because he clearly wasn’t on the same page. “Just yesterday I was pissed because you left an empty container of milk in my fridge.”

“It wasn’t empty.”

“There was a dribble. That’s not enough for-” He put up a hand and took a breath. “Not the point. Point is: we fought right?”

“That was hardly a discussion.” You waved him off. He had angrily brought it up, you kissed him sorry, and he forgave you. Hinata didn’t know how to hold a grudge and all you had to do was buy him more milk.

“Okay, a few weeks ago then. You fell in the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down.” He nodded confidently. “You woke me up in the middle of the night for that one.”

You shuddered at the memory of being shocked into full consciousness by falling into a pool of your own piss. In your shocked state you may have chosen violence and decided to pick a fight with Hinata at three in the morning, but it was well deserved.

“Okay, but that’s not what I mean.”

“Are you sure?” He raised a brow. “Waking up with my girlfriend on top of me and slowly realizing she’s threatening to end my bloodline kind of feels like a fight.”

“Okay, that’s-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and ignored his amused smirk. “I’m talking about relationship ruining fights.”

He tilted his head, clearly not following you.

“Like, you insult me using some secret I’ve only divulged to you and I leave crying with no self-esteem.” You explained with exaggerated hand gestures and his nose wrinkled. “Or I walk in on you having an explicit affair with Kageyama, or maybe you get drunk and I over hear you talking with-”

He put both his hands up, “back it up. What the hell was that last one?”

“An explicit affair?” You blinked a few times and cocked your head to the side. “With… Kageyama?”

“Yeah that’s what I-we’re gonna unpack that later.” He palmed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, why would any of this happen?”

“Because that’s what always happens.” You answered honestly. Maybe you sounded like a pessimist, but that was just the reality of the world. At least, you had never seen it work any other way. “So just… tell me how it’s going to happen.”

Hinata looked crestfallen at your statement and the dejected look in his eyes made your heart sink to your stomach. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to question your sanity, but was taken back when he crawled forward to rest his head on your chest.

“If I ever hurt you like that,” he mouthed against your collarbone. “I would never forgive myself.”

Your heart raced and you brought a hand to card through his unruly locks, nodding to acknowledge his words.

“Don’t overthink,” he said, kissing your neck softly. “If we’re good then we’re good. Maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

Your lips curved into a small smile and you nodded again. You let yourselves just exist with him for a while. Heart’s beating in unison while you twirled tufts of autumn through your fingers. His lips dusting across your neck as he whispered loving affirmations against you. And maybe he was right.

Maybe it was just meant to be.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata moved expertly around his kitchen preparing breakfast, sneaking glancing at you perched drowsily beside the stove adorning one of his larger shirts. Obviously it wasn’t the first time he’d seen you like that-hair mussed, eyes heavy with sleep, in only his clothes-but it still warmed his heart when you existed so casually in space. Like you belonged there.

His lips curved into a smile as he cracked several eggs into a heated frying pan. The dull thudding of your heels hitting a cupboard mixed with the sizzling on the pan for the background of your comfortable silence. Even without conversation his life felt brighter in your presence and he was thankful his apartment was such a convenient location for the both of you.

You yawned deeply, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and finally focusing on him. Hinata selfishly wished you could be with him more often. The days he woke up without you were the coldest.

“What are you staring at?” You slurred with another yawn.

Hinata shot you a lopsided grin, “my beautiful girlfriend.”

You side-eyed him with an amused smirk, “kiss ass.”

Hinata slid the eggs onto a couple plates before going to stand in front of you. You raised a curious brow, but weren’t given enough time to voice a question before he pressed his lips to yours. His mouth curved into a smile against yours-another reason he loved you being here so often was it meant more of this.

Your hands cradled his face as he appreciated that you still tasted like mint from his borrowed toothpaste this morning. Another subtle way he’d nudged himself into your life he realized, toying with the bottom of his shirt you were wearing.

“What’s this for?” You asked, sliding your hands over his shoulders and hooking them behind his neck.

“I just love you,” he replied earnestly. Your fingers laid a scorching touch as they teased the baby hairs on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Hinata took his time with languid kisses-he could kiss you a million times and the hunger for more would always linger.

Your breaths were heavy when you pulled back to place your forehead against his, eyeing him with pure affection that set his heart ablaze. “I love you too, Shoyo.”

He trailed his knuckles down your cheek and relished in the way you leaned into his touch. How had he gotten this luck? Hinata placed a tender kiss on your forehead, temple, cheekbone, tip of your nose, and finally on your lips.

“You should move in.”

Hinata’s eyes widened in shock at his own question because that had been the last thing he’d planned on doing this morning. Well, the suggestion was out there and it’s not like he wanted to take it back...

You blinked several times as you processed. “With you?”

“Ideally.”

You furrowed your brow while mulling it over and Hinata counted his heartbeats to stay grounded. Worst case scenario you say no and things are awkward for a bit. Best case scenario he takes a large step forward with the love of his life.

Oh god, he should’ve planned this better.

“Okay.”

“I understand,” Hinata sighed. “It was totally random and I shouldn’t have expected-did you say yes?”

“Yeah,” your cheeks flushed and you bit your bottom lip to fight down a smile. “I mean, I’m here most of the time anyway, right?”

Hinata nodded mindlessly before a face splitting grin covered his features and he scooped you off the corner. You squealed while he spun you around with a bright laugh, interrupting any of your comments with a passionate kiss. While you were busy tangling your fingers into his unruly hair he glanced toward his bedroom’s door.

There was probably enough time to celebrate.

*******************************************************************************************

“She’s beautiful,” you said in awe, cradling the swaddled newborn in your arms. She was sleeping soundly, tiny breaths leaving her partly open mouth. The baby looked too fragile for this world, features too small and delicate to be realistic.

She was amazing.

“Well, she’s our daughter,” Tanaka’s chest puffed up proudly. He sat beside Shimizu on her hospital bed with an arm hung loosely around her. “Obviously she’s going to be perfect.”

You wouldn’t fight his dramatics; he deserved to be happy today.

“What’s her name?” Hinata breathed. Seated beside you he leaned heavily against your side to observe the baby.

“Sayori,” Shimizu yawned. She and Tanaka had deep bruises under their eyes, and you smirked knowingly down at the sleeping demon in disguise.

Hinata hesitantly moved his hand toward Sayori before planting it back on his lap. You raised a brow, reaching over with the hand not helping cradle Sayori’s head and grabbed his forefinger. Hinata looked at you panicked, but relaxed as you guided him toward Sayori’s small fist that pressed gently against her pink cheeks.

When she instinctively wrapped her fingers around his forefinger his eyes widened and he whipped his gaze to you. “She grabbed my finger,” he whispered.

“They do that,” you smirked, a frenzy of butterflies attacking your stomach as he stared at Sayori wondrously.

“That’s amazing.”

“Okay, stop using my kid as a way to feed your baby fever.” Tanaka huffed. Shimizu elbowed him in the stomach and a warmth trickled up your face when his words hit you.

“What’s a baby fever?” Hinata asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Is it dangerous?”

“No,” you stumbled over a reply that wouldn’t make the situation incredibly awkward. “It’s when you, uh, want kids.”

“Oh,” Hinata shrugged, bouncing his finger to play with Sayori’s hand. “What’s wrong with eventually wanting kids?”

“That’s not-”

“No, it means you want a kid now.” Tanaka emphasized by smacking the hospital bed. “Like, go home immediately and make a baby level now.”

Hinata blinked a few times before his face lit up red, “oh.”

You nodded awkwardly and both of you remained quiet while Shimizu chastised Tanaka in the background. One of you should probably deny the baby fever thing… right? You glanced over to Hinata, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared intently at Sayori.

“Okay, Sayori needs to eat soon, so I’m kicking Hinata out.” Tanaka announced.

Hinata didn’t put up any fights and you passed Sayori back to Shimizu, making plans to see each other again soon. You offered your services for future babysitting with Hinata’s vigorous agreeing behind you and they were more than grateful for it. Regardless Tanaka shooed you out when Sayori began wriggling in Shimizu’s arms.

As you and Hinata made your way to the metro that would bring you to your apartment complex the air between you was heavy. An obvious awkwardness that was harder to ignore the longer you walked together.

“I’m not surprised their baby ended up looking so cute,” you laughed, filling the space with nervous chatter. “Shimizu is really pretty.”

He nodded, looking up at the cloudless sky thoughtfully. “Do you think our baby would be cute?”

Your heart rate quickened at the idea. It wasn’t like you’d never thought of it, but talking about it outloud was a completely different monster. “I think it would have pretty great genes.”

He nodded, furrowing his brow at the sidewalk ahead.

Hinata wasn’t an idiot. Neither of you were ready for something like that. Several nights ago you’d decided to get drunk and attempt making meat buns-you’d nearly set the kitchen on fire. That doesn’t scream parent material.

On a larger scale, Hinata had just been selected for Japan’s Olympic team. There just wasn’t time for something like that. No, a baby wasn’t realistic.

However...

“What’s our apartment’s pet policy?”

He turned to you with a raised brow, “probably an extra fee and a weight limit. Why?”

You smirked mischievously at him, “want to get a dog?”

His jaw dropped. “Oh my fu-can I name it?”

“Only if I get to pick the breed.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Hinata grasped your hand and yanked you toward the closest metro station. “Look up the closest pet store and let’s go!”

You chuckled, allowing him to pull you toward a random station that probably wouldn’t lead you where you needed. It would work out in the end. Things always seemed to fall perfectly into place with HInata.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata glared across the roll of wrapping paper at the small puppy crushing the end of the tube, tearing edges of red and white striped paper with its sharp teeth. Hinata tugged it out of the pup’s mouth, but that only encouraged the behavior as it leapt forward to chew with more vigor.

“Can you grab your son?” Hinata waved the roll around, letting the Shiba Inu chase the end that Hinata held just out of reach. “He’s making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

You paused your typing at the dining table and giggled at Hinata’s antics. After closing the laptop you jogged over to scoop the puppy up, flipping him over in your arms to rub its belly. The puppy let its tongue hang out and wagged its tail vigorously at the attention.

“Oh, Deku, are you giving your dad a hard time,” you cooed down at the puppy, lifting him to look him in the eyes with a furrowed brow. “That’s not very nice.”

Hinata rolled his eyes fondly at your pathetic attempt of scolding while Deku licked you on the nose. Just several months old and he already knew how to manipulate people with his cuteness.

“I bought our bullet train tickets,” you said while nudging him the roll of tape he’d started looking around for. “Natsu called me earlier. We decided that you and I should get there around 3.”

Hinata tore a piece of tape off with his teeth while he held the wrapping paper still around the boxed pair of rollerskates with his foot.

“We have to stop by Tanaka’s place before we head out,” Hinata wrinkled his nose at his poor wrapping job. “Noya’s visiting for a while and he wants to meet Deku.”

“Of course,” you smiled as you held a chew toy above Deku’s face so he could nibble on it in your lap. “We have some presents for Sayori, anyway.”

Oh yeah. You had split the present wrapping in terms of difficulty, so you had the pleasure of wrapping weirdly shaped toys while he was left with boxes. Somehow, his still turned out to be a disaster.

He could hear Natsu’s complaints already.

“The train doesn’t leave till one, so we should have plenty of time.” You stated once Hinata taped the final present, completing his small present tower. Deku wriggled himself free from your grip and immediately attacked the empty wrapping paper roll.

Hinata smiled absentmindedly as he watched Deku hold the tube still with his small paws as he gnawed the cardboard. He felt you crawl over, lying your head onto his lap as your eyes followed his to watch your dog-son together. He felt at peace, running his fingers through your hair while Deku wreaked mischief nearby.

He felt like he could never get happier than this, and he never wanted it to end.

“He really is a troublemaker,” you snorted as Deku dragged the tube across the living room proudly. “Gets it from you.”

Hinata rolled his eyes and pinched your cheek. “It’s because you let him do whatever he wants.”

“Do not!”

He chuckled, taking his time tracing your features. The curve of your cheekbones, the dip of your lips, the bridge of your nose-everything he’d kissed into his memory by now but still couldn’t get enough of.

Hinata’s heart burned bright as he ran his knuckles along your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled softly, leaning subconsciously into his touch.

“I mean… I really love you, (Y/N).” Hinata grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. “I think this is it.”

You met his stare for several moments before your cheeks reddened. “Oh.”

Hinata nodded, pressing a loving kiss to the back of your hand. “I just-I always want you with me and if it’s not you in the end then… then what’s the point?”

Your mouth fell slightly open and he felt your hand flex in his grasp. He assumed he made a mistake-said too much too fast-but his chest was so warm and full and it was hard to reign in his emotions when he got that way.

A smile blossomed across your face and it eased his anxieties when you held his cheek. “You’re it for me too, Sho.”

He blinked several times as the words rolled over in his mind. “Wha-really?” He twisted himself so he could look you in the eyes, begging for you to be telling the truth.

You nodded shyly, your face crimson. “Yeah. You have been. I’m not… I don’t think I’d be able to love anyone else ever again.”

It felt like he’d been hit by a train at your confession and he pressed his mouth against yours before he’d even processed the statement. Your content hum against his lips was enough to drive him insane.

“Well, I’m going to love you forever.” Hinata promised with a dopey smile. “So don’t even think about that.”

You snorted, but nodded anyway. Hinata glanced down at your lips again with hooded eyes and started leaning forward, but was rudely interrupted by a damp cardboard tube hitting his forehead.

He glanced up exhaustedly at the Shiba Inu puppy panting obliviously at the both of you, waiting patiently for the love and attention he knew he deserved. You pushed Hinata off to grab Deku, but he jumped into a play bow and jolted back when you reached for him.

Hinata smiled dazedly as you chased Deku around the apartment, juking around furniture to attempt to throw the puppy off-course. He had never felt so complete than he had in that moment because he realized that this was it for him.

It was you. It was him. It was a troublemaker dog. And it was a promise that you’d be together forever.

And that was pretty damn perfect.

[13uswntimagines]

Stay Out of This OK? (Mal x Baby!Reader)

Request: Sequal to Better Luck Next Time where the team tries to help Baby!Reader get with Mal. 

Authors Note: so this was super fun to write with @literaryhedgehog​. It’s in the same 3 times they didn’t and 1 they did of the other one we did! I hope you enjoy and hit me up with questions or if you just wanna say Hi!

Team bonding was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be an activity that everyone would enjoy. Instead, it had turned into a board game massacre. There weren’t enough Monopoly pieces for everyone to play, so the team got split up into pairs. “Randomly assigned” pairs. (Though you would bet your signed Mia Hamm jersey that there was nothing random about you being paired with Mal).

“I told you I need to play the shoe! It’s my lucky piece!” Emily yelled, literally trying to pull the shoe piece from your hand. 

“Chill Emily, it’s just a game,” Lindsey glared from beside her. This whole thing wasn’t even about the game, it was about getting you to talk to your crush. (Which the team was determined to get you to admit your feelings too).

“More like a crushing commentary on how consumerism works…” You mumbled with an eye roll. You fucking hated this game. The only upside was that you got to cuddle with your favorite forward. 

“Well yes, that is literally what the game is supposed to be about, but we’re here trying to have fun.” Christen eyed you as she added a hotel to Baltic Avenue. You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah babe, just have fun with it,” Mal nudged you, causing your lips to tick up lightly. 

“Mal called Y/n babe,” Emily squealed, instantly being shushed by the flares of your teammates. The plan was to get the two Preath children together, and with your skittish and shy nature, they had to be subtle about it as to not scare you off. 

It seems to be working as you were cuddled into the older girl’s side, your chin resting comfortably on her shoulder. 

“ Maybe you should blow on the dice, Y/N.” Kelley mentioned in a forcefully offhand manner, “You know, for good luck.”

“Actually, I think it might be luckier if you just roll, you’ve been getting higher numbers anyway,” Mal said kissing your cheek and handing the dice to you, while covertly shooting Kelley a look that screamed ‘please shut up’. The team may have had good intentions, but their plans never seemed to work out well, and she really liked you. 

You forcefully threw the dice on the board, tired of the near-constant teasing from the team. Too forcefully. One of them bounced through the center, ricocheted off the hat on Electric company and flew off the table into Lindsey’s lap. The other took out the house at Park place before Christen stopped it. 

Everyone looked down at the numbers. Snake eyes, that moved you right onto the words “Go to Jail.” The room burst into laughter, and your cheeks tinted a deep shade of red. 

“I think I’m done for tonight, sorry Mal,” You said gulping, untangling yourself from the woman, and rushing to stand up. 

“No babe, you don’t have to go!” She called out, standing up as if to stop you as you made your way to the door. This had been going so well until the girls started teasing you. 

“I’ll see you in practice tomorrow,” you said, smiling quickly. You closed the door behind you then opened it again quickly, just long enough to call out “Next time, we’re playing cards against humanity.”

Mal glared at the other girls as Emily moved your piece into the game’s jail. “I love you guys, but just stay out of this, ok?”

“Sure, sure. Of course.” The other women said halfheartedly, giving Mal no reassurance whatsoever. The two of you would be so good together, they just couldn’t help themselves from meddling. 

……...

“Okay we’re doing drills in teams of two today,” Carlie called shaking a hat with pieces of paper in it. She was in charge of the forwards and middies workouts for the day, and while you were ecstatic to get to work with one of your idols, you were also wary of your teammates and their desire to embarrass you in front of your crush. But the team captain wouldn’t get involved, would she? Carlie was like too old and too serious for the team's shenanigans right?

One by one Carlie drew a slip out and called out the names written on the paper. She paused for a second before she read your name, pairing you with Mal. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. Why were you paired with another forward? Was Vlatko going to try putting you or Mal in midfield? That didn’t make sense, you were both strikers and damn good ones at that. 

“Don’t look so excited now,” Mal joked as she approached you, eyeing your frown carefully. 

“I am excited, just nervous, and a little tired. 8 am workouts aren’t really my thing. Also, Captain hasn’t said what we’re doing yet, and I will mutiny if we have to do burpees.” You grumbled, shooting Mal a sheepish smile. 

“I don’t think you’re alone in that… I think we’re just doing some crossing drills,” Mal re

“Okay, everyone has your teammate? Great.” Carlie tossed the hat into a bag she had stowed under the bench. “Today we’re doing timed crossing drills. Focus on accuracy, but the team to finish the fastest gets to go in early and losers have to do 5 laps. Lindsey and Rose, you’re up.”

There were many things you enjoyed in life. The smell of rain, the feeling of warm sand on your toes, and Mal running chasing a ball down the pitch were 3 at the top of your list. Her control over the ball was amazing and the ease upon which she weaved between defenders was too enticing to not stare at it. One second you had been running down the field, pointedly not looking at Mal, the next you had tripped over your own feet, and nearly face-planted in the dirt by the goalpost. 

“Whoa there kiddo,” Tobin grunted as she caught you, an easy smirk planted on her face. She had seen where your eyes were but didn’t feel the need to tease you about it. 

“Thanks, Tobs,” You mumbled, your cheeks dusting a light shade of pink. She patted your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She opened her mouth to say something but was rudely interrupted.

“Hey, y/n don’t fall for Mal too hard,” Emily called with a giggle from across the field. And you felt your cheeks get even hotter. You shook your head and headed back towards Carlie. 

“Hey, stay out of this!” Mal said firmly, punching Emily on the shoulder as she ran off to chase you. 

“Whatever you say, kid,” Emily smirked back, shrinking only at Tobin’s glare. The thing that Toby understood was that you and Mal would get together when the two of you were ready. It didn’t do anyone any good to meddle in it. 

…...

“Sorry, no room,” Ashlyn said her mouth twitching as she saw you look over the available bus seats. Or more specifically all the unavailable bus seats, since every single normally empty seat had suddenly been filled. Team members who were normally bus buddies had simultaneously decided today that they were going to split up over two rows, and several duffel bags had mysteriously appeared to fill up the rest of the empty rows. 

“Why is Alex in my normal seat?” You asked, glancing at the place that had become yours, feeling your anxiety rising. 

“Captain's orders,” Alex shrugged, fighting to keep her face neutral. If you and Mal weren’t going to buck up and ask each other out, then the team was just going to conveniently keep putting the two of you together. 

“Just sit with Mal,” Carlie waved you off, barely looking up from her phone. You didn’t move, too busy calculating the probability that the seat change was going to cause some disastrous event. You had heard the stories, and you knew the risk. But how were you supposed to tell Carlie that you were sure that if you sat in the wrong seat you were going to curse the whole team? 

Just then Mal climbed onto the bus and froze. Oh, this was ridiculous. 

“Right, well since we’ve decided this match doesn’t matter,” Mal said, pushing lightly past you to get to the seat where Kelley was sitting alone, “I’ll just sit here where I can actually hear the speaker system.”

“Alex isn’t going to like this,”

“Then Alex can sit here herself,” Mal said, dramatically lowering her bag towards the seat next to Kelley.

“What about Alex,” Alex started, turning towards the commotion, her eyes zeroing in on Mal who held her bag an inch above the seat, as though daring Alex to come prevent her from setting it down. “No. no one sits with Kelley but me,” She growled, shoving past you to get to her spot. 

Mal smirked, already walking down the aisle towards her own seat. Her eyes softened as she watched your face light up now that your usual seat was empty, smiling when you relaxed into the foam. She turned around to walk down the aisle, and leaned over to hiss at Carlie, Kelley, Alex, and Ashlyn as she passed “I told you to stay out of this.”

……

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” You asked as Mal dragged you down the dark street. It was nearly midnight, and she had decided that it was the perfect time to go and get a snack. 

“Well, officially we are supposed to be getting extra protein in our diets for this week of practice. Technically peanut butter milkshakes have protein!” She smiled dopily at you, pulling you towards the brightly lit building in the distance. 

“But it’s midnight, and if Chris or Tobs find out, they’re going to kill us,” You whined, dragging your feet as you approached the diner. How she knew it would be open, you had no idea. You still stood by your point that wandering around this late was a bad idea. But you would go anywhere with Mal. 

“Which is exactly why we left at midnight. Chris is definitely asleep by now, and Tobin is probably too wrapped up in a painting to notice anything else,” Mal bit her lip and looked back at you. “And there are some things worth dying for. Like chocolate peanut butter milkshakes.”

“As long as you’re paying,” You grumbled, playfully tugging at her hand. 

“That would make it a date then wouldn’t it?” Mal asked with a smirk, and your steps faltered. There was no way Mal wanted to date you right? She couldn’t feel the same way you did. 

“Do you want it to be a date?” You asked softly, freezing on the spot, the ground suddenly the most interesting thing on the planet. 

Mal stopped moving and looked back at you. Her brown eyes glinted in the light of the streetlamp, as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Yes. Of course, I do. But if that bothers you it’s-”

“I would love to go on a date with you,” You interrupted her, your eyes wide. 

“Yeah?” She asked hesitantly, afraid to scare you off. 

“Absolutely. I would have asked, but I didn’t think you felt the same,” You nodded firmly. Your eyebrows suddenly furrowed. “Is this why Kelley told me to just get my shit together and grow a pair?”

That had been a very strange and scary conversation considering Kelley wouldn’t tell you what the two of you were talking about. You had been so freaked out that you only talked to Tobin, Christen, and Mal for like a week because you were afraid of saying the wrong thing. It was also why Tobin had decided to be a defender for a day and tackle Kelley every chance she got. 

Mal laughed, “That’s not even the half of it. I’m surprised you didn’t notice, I practically had to   too ‘stay out of it’ on their foreheads, they kept meddling so much. Now come on, those milkshakes won’t drink themselves. I’ll get you extra sprinkles on yours!” 

In the end, you didn’t need the team's help. You and Mal had gotten together in your own way, in your own time, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

[ihassheepquake]

Stargirl 1.13 “Stars & S.T.R.I.P.E. Part Two” is out now on DCU and I’m here to talk about it.

This is it y’all. It’s the season 1 finale. That’s crazy to think about, and it’s crazy to think about how after tonight I will officially have no way to keep track of what day it is anymore, I’ve been using this show (and these little recap chats) to remember when it’s Sunday and base my week off that. 

So before the episode actually starts, I wanna take a sec to just talk about what kind of stuff I’m expecting (or want but doubt we’re gonna actually) from this finale. One, I’m expecting some real emotional weight. We’re going to see a throw down between Pat & Courtney, that’s gonna carry a lot. If Pat can even land a hit on her, it doesn’t matter that he’s being mind controlled, that’s gonna be really traumatic for the both of them. I’m expecting at least one person in the ISA to get away to be a returning villain next season. I’d like Grundy & Rick to get a fight but I doubt we’ll get it. I’d also definitely love to find out Joey is alive somehow, or even Henry (but I do feel like both of their deaths are important so conflicted feelings), but I highly doubt it. Maybe in season 2 (I mean, it is the CW). I really need to see what the fallout of the actual plan from the ISA, and how it affects the Starsquad. It’s about 20 seconds left before it goes live, so let’s get to work.

What a crazy way to start off this finale. The crazy anger on Isaac’s face is definitely unsettling. I wanna know how the ISA managed to make this massive, retractable football field with a massive cavern under it with nobody noticing. Like, I know the principal was in on it but seriously? What the hell?? Clearly not everybody in the school’s staff was in on the plan, so what is going on here? Moving on, how does Jordan manage to sound like a creepy shit even when he’s trying to be reassuring?

It’s cool to finally get the chance to see what the S.T.R.I.P.E. suit can actually do, we’ve never really gotten the opportunity before. Awwwe Court said “your daughter” how sweet. I wonder if there is a way to fight Brainwave’s control without the blockers that doesn’t kill them? Like, what if we got another telepath involved? Say one of the Martian’s, or even Henry Jr? Maybe some form of magical interference, say from Dr Fate? Idk but it’s interesting to think about. But Beth comes up with a great little plan, and now I have to ask, if the ISA’s goal is to better the country and shit, why aren’t they already using their clearly great wealth to do that? Why go through the effort of taking complete mental control of a good chunk of the country, knowing that ti could kill at least 25% of the people effected? There has to be a better way to do that. Sounds like they don’t give an actual shit about the betterment of the country and more about control. 

I love these hero and villain team shots, those are always moments that I appreciate. And the choreography for the fight is excellent as always. Every fight scene in this show so far has been great. I’m still impressed by how well they’ve been able to show how the ISA really has the JSA outclassed, even with the JSA winning in the end. I wonder if Dragon King letting Cindy out was actually an accident or not, and her killing him was just an unintended consequence of it. And wow we get my wish for Grundy v Rick and Grundy looks awesome! No perfect, he’s definitely CGI (obviously but you know what I mean), but he looks better than I would’ve expected. And holy shit that Henry Jr fake out, omfg. That was awesome. And Yo just straight up murdered Brainwave, wow. Fucking crazy. I’m super excited to see the fallout of that for her next season.

Okay quick break from the serious, gotta say. Battle Rick?? That’s real fucking hot, like shit.

Jordan killed Chuck, what a fucking bitch. I can’t believe they made us listen to a death scream from him too, what the fuck Stargirl? I’m excited to see Beth becoming Dr Mid-Nite in her own right. 

Hey, fuck yeah Barbara, call Jordan out on the murder of Joey, and Henry, and all the others. I love how Jordan thinks he can actually convince Barbara to take Courtney and come with him in taking over the country, what a fucking creep. Not at all surprised that he was going to throw her off the roof. I would’ve been surprised if he didn’t actually. 

It’s really great seeing them actually give Grundy clear feelings in this fight with Rick. While he is a literal zombie, he’s not usually some mindless creature from how I know him, and I’m glad the show didn’t really fall into that trap. While I think Rick deserves the chance to get his revenge, I think it does more for him and his character by letting Grundy go (not that Grundy really dies, that’s kinda his thing). 

I wonder if Courtney’s “you can never save America, you’re filled with too much hate” intentionally has as much commentary as it does (keep in mind this show was originally set to come out last September). ALSO MIKE??? EXCUSE ME???? One, holy shit, fucking fantastic. Iconic. Two, talk about poetic justice. One of Jordan’s first kills in this show was getting Joey hit with a truck and now he’s taken out by Mike with a truck (I’m unfamiliar with whether or not Jordan is one of those ice characters who can’t really die in their ice form, hence why I’m not saying Mike killed him). Yay for Mike getting have a moment in this finale. And take that all the people in the live chats eagerly waiting for Mike’s murder (which btw what the fuck?). 

I like how even though the Starsquad has won the day, it’s not exactly a true happy ending you know? Court & Rick are ending in a pretty place but Beth just lost her best friend and Yolanda just killed a man (a irredeemable, evil man who definitely deserved it but still). These are really heavy places to end on. 

Oooooh the Shade?? Hello??? I know we’ve already heard that he’s a big villain for next season but I wasn’t really sure we’d see him here. 

Why is Cindy looking through the Zarick’s stuff? ECLIPSO?? HELLO??? EXCUSE ME??? WHOMST???? (Also fuck you Stargirl not using this moment for a good news for Joey. No I’m never letting this go). 

With this Christmas ending, are we finally seeing what was in that gift from episode 1? Yup we are, Courtney is giving it to Pat. How fucking sweet, I love her. I love their relationship. I love how cheesy it is, and I love how it clearly originally said “world’s greatest dads” and Courtney just crossed out the “s.” Cute as shit. And they whole family takes a Christmas photo with the rest of the Starsquad, so cute. What a cute way to end, I’m soft. 

STARMAN!??!?!?! HELLO?!?!??!? WHAT!?!??!?

I don’t. I. What??? I can’t. I have genuinely no idea what on Earth to say here. Sir where have you been all this time???

Okay I will definitely need to be talking about this finale again at some point but for now I’m gonna take my leave and collect my thoughts (and emotions wow). With this finale having come to an end, that makes it the last of these little chats until at least next summer when season 2 is likely to be coming out (I’m sure they’re going to be going into production within the next month or so, and are probably already going through pre-production). Before I close out, I just wanna say that I know that people have their (very fair) reservations about this show going over the CW full time, but we should remember that no matter what, this show is for us. And we should love it for what it is, was, and will be. No matter what.

That’s me signing off of this recap for the last time, and I will see you guys for season 2. 

[clintbartonswife]

Storm

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Reader Summary: When an unexpected storm hits during a mission, you and Sam are separated from the rest of the team. @whumptober2019 #7 : Isolation Warning: sam being a little shit, swearing masterlist  || whumptober masterpost

“Hey Stark? Any reason why the wind is beating my ass harder than usual?”

“FRIDAY said a storm is rolling in from the East, gotta wrap this up quickly” Stark replied, comment backed up by the howling wind that seemed to get more vicious by the second, “Can you stay in the air for a little while longer?”

“Sure. Easy”

Not liking the strain in his voice, you abandoned your post to try and spot Sam’s position in the sky, swearing as you saw him being tossed around.

“Not looking like it’s easy Sam, you’re being thrown around like crazy” 

“I’m fine” 

“For god’s sake Sam you don't need to prove a point, just come down before you -” you words trailed off as a particularly strong gust of wind sent him catapulting to the left, wings jarring and dropping him into the snow below.

“Shit! Captain, Sam’s down! I’m on my way to him now”

“Is he okay?”

“I don't know - I’m trying to get there as fast as I can but he’s not talking”

“Goddamnit, tell me as soon as you can okay?”

You tuned out as he started barking orders at the rest of them, focusing on keeping track of where Sam had fallen. You eventually found him, unconscious but breathing, miles outside of the gates of the warehouse you were attacking.

“Shit - he’s breathing but he’s out cold” you reported, carefully turning him onto his side as you worked the wingpack off of his back.

“Where are you? We’re just wrapping up in here” Nat asked, and you could roughly hear Bucky and Clint arguing in the background.

“Roughly 10 miles outside of the gate, north east of the main entrance?”

“Hold tight”

When the pack was finally off, you lay him flat on the ground, fingers resting on his neck to take his pulse. It was slower than normal, but not to a worrying point just yet. Once you were sure he wouldn’t die on you, you started checking for any broken bones (waiting until he was awake to check the torso area).

A muffled groan pulled your attention back to his face which was now scrunched with disgruntled pain.

“’S fucking freezing” he grumbled, moving to sit up.

“That would be because you faceplanted into the snow” you snarked, pressing on his chest to keep him down, “I’m waiting for backup before I move you”

“I didn’t faceplant … my face is too pretty” 

You frowned slightly at his slurred speech, lifting his head from the ground gently to check for any blood coming from the back of his head that you might’ve missed.

“Yeah, well I think that pretty face might have some concussion right now”

“Nawww, I feel fantastic. I could take on Buck right now without blinking”

“Sure you could superman”

The conversation was cut short as Steve’s voice came through the comms.

“How is he?”

“Awake, no broken limbs from what I can see but I’m pretty sure he has a concussion. When can you come get us?”

“About that” Tony interrupted, voice sounding slightly concerned, “remember that storm? It’s literally about to hit us. You get yourselves somewhere safe pronto”

“Excuse me? You mean you cant come get us?”

“That's a negative, sorry y/n”

“Well fuck. Am I supposed to carry him? I cant get him back to the warehouse by myself”

“There should be a safehouse - well lodge - a few miles East of your roundabout position” Nat piped in, “try and get there before the worst of it hits”

“Fucking fantastic” you sighed, levelling sam with a look.

“What? Me? Thanks” 

He winked at you and you had to refrain yourself from punching him. Instead, you took a deep breath and tugged his pack over your shoulders before moving to his side.

“You’re gonna have to help me here Sam” you said, offering your hand to help him up from the ground, “we need to get that lodge”

“Yes ma’am” he shouted, using your help to get up and slinging his arm around your neck to stay steady, “lead the way”

“You’re a pest”

“Thanks”

With your feet dragging through the snow, you helped Sam along and within half an hour you had arrived at a log building. Roughly ten minutes in to your walk, however, the storm had started to full picking up, snow falling at an increasing rate until it was basically a blizzard.

“Good enough” you huffed, wiggling the door open before settling Sam down on a slightly dusty chair before making sure everything else was secure. Sam made sure to keep a running commentary as you moved through the small space, starting up the fire.

“Need any help starting it? My ass is turning into an icicle here”

“Give me a goddamn minute Wilson” you growled, searching for something to start a spark with, “Just keep your little ass sat down and we’ll be fine”

Another minute of Sam’s grumbling later, you had sworn loudly, striding over to him with a pile of blankets and wrapping him up in them so tightly that he resembled a burrito.

“Now will you please shut the fuck up?”

“Message received” he snarked, burrowing further into the blankets, so only his eyes were showing. If he had not been so annoying, you might have found it cute.

Resigned to freezing your ass off until you worked out the fire, you sat down in front of the fire and resumed your attempts are lighting it, silently cursing out the weather.

The two of you were officially out of comms distance, so you were relying on the team to come and get you and not leave you completely cut off.

Finally getting the fire started, you turned around to see Sam dozing.

“Oi!”

“Motherfuc-“ he cried, jumping in shock

“You have a concussion. You’re not allowed to sleep on me” you smirked, tilting your head to the side as Sam glared, “can’t let you die on my watch, Steve would kill me”

“Then talk to me, entertain me! I’m bored out of my mind” he whined, “plus it’s still cold as all hell”

You pat the floor next to you, holding back a laugh as Sam stood up (still wrapped up like a burrito) and waddled over to you, sitting down with a muffled grunt.

“We should tell spooky stories” 

“What are you, five?”

“No. I’m concussed and the wind outside is very dramatic and is making me think of spooky stories” he huffed, burrowing back into his blankets. He fixed a glare on you, narrowing his eyes expectantly. You lasted a few minutes before caving. 

After roughly 30 minutes of swapping scary stories (and having to poke Sam’s cheek every few minutes to stop him from falling asleep), you decided you were bored of that, moving to rest against the wall next to the fireplace and watch Sam instead.

The amber glow from the fire illuminated his face, giving him an almost ethereal presence in the otherwise dark lodge. Your eyes traced over every feature, only snapping out of your haze when he opened his mouth.

“See something you like?”

You scoffed, willing the blush away from your cheeks as you rolled your eyes.

“In your dreams Wilson, I was just making sure you weren’t having a stroke”

“Sure, sure. Y’know, I still can’t really feel my legs, I think I might be getting pneumonia. There’s a quick fix way I know of getting warm…”He trailed off with a suggestive wink, making you choke on air.

“You better not have just suggested what I think you just suggested”

“I’m just saying, we can both see you’re shivering slightly, the fire’s not warm enough and I’m not gonna lose any of my blankets. Let’s get naked”

You pinched your nose, holding back a torrent of shouts, instead opting to take a deep breath and speak in a steady, calm voice.

“Sam. Not only are you way out of line asking me that, you are also injured – with a concussion no less – so I feel like any consent from you is dubious at best at the moment considering you sound like someone who’s been at the club piss-drunk for the past 4 hours”

Sam nodded, seemingly getting where you were coming from, and going silent for a few minutes.

“So… if I wasn’t concussed –“

“Sam!”

“Sorry! But that wasn’t exactly the hard no I was expecting!”

“I swear to god you can be so infuriating-“

“You till haven’t said no-“

Stomach clenching with pre-mediated regret, you strode over to him, cupping his cheeks in your hands as you gave him a soft kiss. Sam chased your lips as you pulled away, a goofy grin spreading across his face.

“I thought you said I couldn’t give consent”

“Shut the fuck up Wilson”

“Only if you kiss me again”

“Already making me regret it”

His grin only grew as you leaned in again, the second kiss more slow and sensual.

“okay, yep. I’m awake”

“Sam!”

________________________________________________________________

Tags:  @xxloki81xx  @geeksareunique 

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Garth Ennis Is A Hack

by Rude Cyrus

Friday, 10 April 2009

Rude Cyrus is deservedly rude about The Boys.~

Once upon a time, superheroes were seen as protectors of the innocent, bringers of justice, and saviors of mankind. When I was a kid, there was no greater thrill than watching Superman pummel giant robots or stop a plane from crashing into a city. As time went on, the public began to tire of flawless beings that could do no wrong, so creators began to make the heroes more “realistic”, at least in terms of character. Antiheroes like Wolverine and The Punisher became popular while concepts like vigilantism would be explored in comics like Watchmen.

Unfortunately, the pendulum swung a little too far during the ‘90s, a decade where you couldn’t swing a dead badger without hitting some DARK and GRITTY antihero. This is the same decade that gave birth to Image Comics, a publisher that needs to make an acquaintance with an H-Bomb. All you need to know about Image Comics is that it took over the canceled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesfranchise and turned Donatello into a cyborg. That says it all.

This brings me to the present and The Boys, a comic series written by Garth Ennis and illustrated by Darick Robertson (which I keep pronouncing as “da’ Rick”).

Let me just say that I hate this series. I don’t hate it because it’s ultra-violent and ultra-sexualized. I don’t hate it because it makes superheroes (or “supes” as they’re called here) turn out to be a bunch of amoral douchebags. I don’t hate it because I think Garth Ennis is an overrated hack who’s convinced everyone he’s a genius. No, I hate it because I can’t stand the characters.

Everybody, with few exceptions, is thoroughly repugnant. Just look at the main characters:

Billy Butcher is a sociopath with a neck the size of a ham and a perpetual smirk plastered on his face. He owns a bulldog named Terror that can fuck things on command; seemingly hates supes because one raped his wife, who ended up dying because the fetus ripped through her stomach. Butcher ended up beating said fetus to death with a lamp.

Wee Hughie joined The Boys after his girlfriend was accidentally killed by a supe named A-Train. Much of the series is focused on following Hughie’s thoughts and actions, which is unfortunate because he’s a wet blanket with exactly three facial expressions: anger, incredulity, and shit-eating grin. He’s also a dead ringer for Simon Pegg – I suspect Ennis was sitting around, smoking pot, and said to himself, “Dude, wouldn’t it be cool if Simon Pegg had superpowers?”

Mother’s Milk is a somewhat decent guy, which means he gets shoved into the background more often than not. He seems to derive his powers from an entity he calls “Momma” in a process that makes him vomit. Why does he have to do this? Who cares, let’s watch a midget use a massive vibrator!

The Frenchman and The Female are psychotic killers with the ability to rip people apart with their bare hands. Defining characteristics: one is French, the other lacks a penis. Garth Ennis doesn’t give a shit about them, so why should I?

And what would a team of morally dubious antiheroes be without a team of superheroes to oppose them? Enter the Seven, an analogue of the Justice League, filled with characters that make The Boys look like The Boy Scouts. The only good member of the group is Starlight, and she’s constantly degraded by the other members, whether it’s forced into wearing a more revealing outfit, giving fellatio to the male members of the group as a “test”, or nearly being raped by the aforementioned A-Train. It’s also strongly hinted that Homelander (leader of the Seven and Superman analogue) was the one who raped Butcher’s wife.

What a charming bunch. Thankfully, it’s not all bad, as Starlight later becomes Hughie’s girlfriend. It’s a match made in heaven, as they’re both outstandingly bland.

Other notable characters include a CIA analyst with a fetish for female paraplegic athletes, a CIA director that frequently has humiliating sex with Butcher, and recurring cameos by Stan Lee – okay, he’s called the Legend, but it’s supposed to be Stan Lee. Perhaps “Exposition Man” would be a better name, because all he does is talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk…

Speaking of stereotypes, there are quite a few on display here. For example, there’s the two fat, hairy, greasy, comic book store-owning Italian brothers who are constantly using variations of “fuck” and threatening their customers with graphic violence; the enormous bearded Russian who talks about communism and the Motherland all the time; the “East Coast vs. West Coast” superhero teams that are always fighting each other, throwing up gang signs and using the n-word. I kept wondering why Garth Ennis was doing this, and I settled on “because he thinks it’s funny.” See, Ennis is pointing out how absurd these stereotypes are, so it’s not really racist, right? Right?

Despite all of this, I forced myself to read all 29 issues, which, at times, felt like I was cutting off my legs with a rusty hacksaw – oh, look, the Russian guy is called “Love Sausage” because he has a fifteen-inch cock! Oh look, Hughie has menstrual blood on his face from oral sex because Starlight was on her period! Oh look, one of the superheroes can vomit acid! Isn’t that a knee-slapper? Worse still was the heavy-handed social and political commentary that Ennis shoehorned in, ranging from how St. Patrick’s Day sucks, to how the military-industrial complex has the United States in a chokehold, to American politics (the President and Vice President being analogues for Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, respectively), to how superheroes are evil. He even uses 9/11 to make his point, for fuck’s sake. Basically, one of the hijacked planes crashed into the Brooklyn Bridge (the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were spared) because the Seven tried to save the day but bungled it due to incompetence and selfishness. Do you see? SUPERHEROES ARE EVIL!

No, that wasn’t what made me stop reading this comic. What made me stop was the latest story arc, called “We Gotta Go Now”. The Boys have to investigate the public suicide of Silver Kincaid, a member of the G-Men (no prizes for guessing who they’re supposed to be an analogue of), for reasons I can’t be bothered to look up. Hughie has to go undercover and infiltrate one of the younger G-teams (as “Bagpipe”, because he’s Scottish, get it?) called G-Wiz. See the subtle pun there?

It’s immediately apparent that something is off with G-Wiz – sure, they might seem to be your average fraternity (i.e. boorish drunks obsessed with bodily functions), but they’re a little too comfortable with each other, if you catch my drift. Couple this with the revelation that G-Men’s leader, John Godolkin (analogue of Charles Xavier – apologies for all the analogues) actually abducted almost all of the G-Men when they were kids and turned them into superheroes, the fact that he refers to the G-Men as his “children”, and all of the dark mutterings of “what we had to deal with” and things start becoming clear.

At this point I thought, “No way. There’s no way Ennis would be so cheap and unoriginal. There has to be more to this.” I read issue 29, and, lo and behold, one of the characters confirmed my worst fears:

John Godolkin is a child molester.

That was the last straw. It wasn’t because one of the villains was a pedophile; rather, it was because Garth Ennis had resorted to such tacky exploitation in order to wring an emotion from his audience. Instead of taking the time to craft something novel, Ennis, out of sheer laziness, decided to go for the biggest heartstring and yank. Why have a complex villain when you can just say, “He’s an evil kid-toucher! BOOGA BOOGA!”

I’m sure Ennis pats himself on the back every day for what he thinks is scathing criticism on the superhero genre and insightful commentary on numerous aspects of life. He isn’t clever, creative, or even likable. He’s just a lazy hack. My smoldering ire also extends to the fans that keep buying this dreck and give it good reviews. What the hell is wrong with these people? My guess is that, in their minds, they equate DARK, GRITTY, and SERIOUS with being good. In my mind, it’s just BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, and more BULLSHIT.

Themes:

Damage Report

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Comics

~

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Wardog

at 17:17 on 2009-04-10I don't know what to say ... I am completely flabbergasted by the awfulness of this. Why on earth is it garnering praise?

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Arthur B

at 17:26 on 2009-04-10Once upon a time the publishers of

2000 AD

thought it would be great to hand over all the writing duties for the comic for a few months to Garth Ennis, Grant Morrison, and various hangers-on. Why they thought this was a good idea was a mystery because Garth had already proven he shouldn't be trusted with other people's properties when in

Strontium Dogs

(the sequel series to

Strontium Dog

) he pulled a blatant retcon out of his capacious arse to turn the sweet, gentle comic relief character The Gronk into a psychotic gun-toting protagonist. Nonetheless, the magazine went ahead with the Summer Offensive, as it called the promotion (because, you see, it's Garth Ennis and he likes being offensive, and it happened in the summer), and the general tone of the comic went from "12A bordering on 15" (in movie age rating terms) to "18 certificate and a big argument about violence in the media on the side", which prompted the parents of certain younger subscribers, such as myself, to cancel the magazine.

And that's how Garth Ennis ruined

2000 AD

for an 11 year old Arthur.

Seriously, the man is awful. I think the only thing he's done that I've actually liked was

Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits

. Frustratingly, that was brilliant. He's capable of not being an idiot if he tries, he just

doesn't try

.

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Rude Cyrus

at 19:49 on 2009-04-10This was actually nominated for an Eisner Award for "Best Continuing Series" in 2008. And comic bok fans wonder why so many people don't take comics seriously.

Thanks for the image, by the way.

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Wardog

at 20:35 on 2009-04-10For a moment there I was wondering if you meant the image of an 11 year old Arthur but then I realised you meant the literal image that illustrates this article. I hope it's okay - I chose the cover that most annoyed me :)

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Sonia Mitchell

at 23:23 on 2009-04-10This series sounds horrific. Thank you for the warning.

(I badly want to google cyborg Donatello. I'd like to think it can't be as disastrous as I'm imaginging, but that would probably be naive. I'm therefore restraining myself...)

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Arthur B

at 00:46 on 2009-04-11

Oh hey look what else Image have published.

On the other hand, they also put out

The Walking Dead

, which

I really like

.

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Guy

at 03:59 on 2009-04-11Speaking of Image, this is one of the most funny/disturbing things I've ever read: Rob Liefeld's 40 worst drawings: http://progressiveboink.com/archive/robliefeld.html

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Arthur B

at 15:04 on 2009-04-11I'm amazed they were able to find 40 drawings worse than

the infamous Captain America one

.

Actually, I'm not amazed, Liefeld is terrible. Oh God, the feet...

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 06:31 on 2010-07-11Thread necromancy: After reading this article from the random button, I'm reading

The Boys

out of morbid curiosity. I've gotten through the first couple of storylines, issues one through ten. It's about as disgusting as Rude Cyrus has said, with everything as juvenile and pointlessly violent and so forth.

One of the annoying things is that there are occasionally glimmers of interest that make me think "You know, if Garth Ennis actually gave a shit, and stopped dropping tons of stupid violence and stupid sex and stupid ham-fisted 'haha the gay activist is violently afraid of actual homosexuals' shit, he might actually be able to make some points about 'how do we make superheroes accountable?'" One advantage of

The Boys

is that, unlike

Civil War

, it's just one author, so there aren't a bazillion different axes being ground. And it doesn't seem like it's constrained by being a DC Comics Continuity Event, the way

Civil War

was a Marvel Comics Continuity Event. And every once in a while, it seems like Ennis might have something to say on the matter.

But it inevitably degenerates into "hurr hurr supes are pervs, butcher punches them." Fuck you, Ennis, for being wasted potential.

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 06:32 on 2010-07-11Aack, unclosed HTML tags. Sorry! (I'm used to a forum that won't let me post if I have unmatched tags, and didn't check.)

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Rami

at 05:43 on 2010-07-12@webcomcon: Fixed it for you. I'm afraid FerretBrain doesn't really do warnings -- but we do suggest using the Preview button!

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http://blackgeep.livejournal.com/

at 18:20 on 2010-07-13Continuing thread necromancy!

I am a comic book artist. I detest

The Boys

with a deep, abiding disgust. My employer thinks it's brilliant. He is also a big fan of Liefeld (needs more pouches!), so go figure. While

The Boys

is bad, try having your only income being working on the dream project of someone who likes

The Boys

, and feel your artistic integrity shrivel.

I actually considered sending in issue one of

Polis

(what I'm paid to draw) to Ferretbrain for a review; I may yet do that alongside

Polis

issue two and my own side project for what the great minds here could find a fun comparison. "The world is corrupt and drug-addled, corporations are evil, and our main hero is an amoral Cape [superhero] with few redeeming qualities." versus "A space princess and space pirates act terribly toward one another, but all in good fun." I asked my employer, and he thinks any publicity is good.

Speaking of "Cape" and "Supe", what is this allergic reaction to the word superhero? Yes, superhero is a long word, but so is computer. From my perspective, it would seem more likely that superhero would get shortened to just hero. Then advert campaigns about "The

real

heroes of X city: our policemen and firefighters" would take on a whole new weight. Plus, I haven't met many people who say 'puter, and compy only caught on after Strongbad popularised it.

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Dan H

at 19:11 on 2010-07-13I think the thing about abbreviating "superhero" to something like "cape" or "supe" (did Watchmen use "mask" or am I making that up) is that it highlights the fact that this is an EDGY SERIOUS WORK OF FICTION about EDGY DARK CHARACTERS not some KIDDY THING about SUPERHEROES.

Because as we all know, nothing screams "maturity" like going to great lengths to appear mature.

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http://blackgeep.livejournal.com/

at 21:32 on 2010-07-13The thing which screams maturity the best is to have everyone swear all the time, and put blood and torture on every page. The ability to engage in traditionally adult themes while employing transgressive story elements such as bodily fluids, misogyny, and rape is the hallmark of an individual whose mind has progressed past puerile adolescent fascination. As you said, superheroes are so childish. We aren't writing stories about superheroes under a different name. These are adult stories about well rounded characters employing serious themes. Just like Terry Goodkind is definitely not a *pfft*

fantasy author.

Sarcasm over, I honestly don't remember if

Watchmen

used "mask." I guess I've just lost some comix-cred.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 13:13 on 2011-10-28Hey guys. I'm aware this is a few years old but just discovered the site and enjoying it, even when I disagree.

But this is the only one I think I needed to comment on.

Firstly, Garth Ennis is demonstrably not a hack. That's just incredibly lazy.

Secondly, this review seems to have totally failed to come to terms with the text.

OK. I'm not going to argue against certain points here. There's gross out humor, there's swearing, there's a hamster well-up in a zombie's bum. There's puke and disgusting, disgusting periods that no man should ever have to read about (cos girls, right! ew. The writer of this article agrees!) and there's even some blood and guts and a superhero orgy and someone strangles Scarlet Witch with a belt!

But.

The scene where poor old Annie, Starlight, has to service six members of the Seven to get in? It's awful. And a considerable part of the text is concerned not only with her coming to terms with the assault but (and how often to you see this?) actually come to terms with and starting to heal from the assault.

The two black teams who scream the N word at each other? There's no discussion of the young black man who is going to be forced into one of the teams who sees nothing he recognises of his experiences in tired mainstream hip hop lingo and posing. A man who has begun to understand that to become a superstar, he has to enter into a well-dodgy narrative.

No discussion of the good people warped into being celebrities and what that costs them, which is the central metaphor of the book.

Or the actual honesty when Hughie, who's never met a gay man but has to hang out in a gay club and suddenly finds his liberal sensibilities a bit overwhelmed. A scene that's never, ever played for cheap gay joke laughs.

The point of Hughie going down on a girl with a period is not that it's gross and his mates laugh at him. It's that he refuses to let something as dumb as that get in the way of his relationship with Annie. He cops some jokes and some pisstaking but then will not let the deathly embarrassed girl freak out over what turns out to be ... nothing at all.

In recent years, we've also seen a cheap man-on-man 'Dark Knight Returns' rape joke actually turns out to actually be a proper discussion on the reasons why a chap might not be able to discuss it with his friends. And what that cost him.

St Patrick's Day sucks? Surely an repatriated Northern Irishman who grew up in the Troubles has nothing to say about the immigrant experience to the United States. What a hack!

As for scoring political points off 9/11.... mate. Welcome to the world. I fail to even see an argument here.

I'm not going to say everyone should love The Boys. And sometimes I get a bit weary of schoolboys bleeding out of their arses and all the rest. And I think Ennis has made his point about religion by now. I do. (Spoiler alert: Preacher)

I like the comic but I don't expect everyone to be able to laugh like I do when the mentally ill Batman analogue has sex with a meteor.

So don't like it. That's cool. It's not like I'll gnash teeth if you don't like what I like. But this review has really failed to come to grips with and has actively misrepresented the text.

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Arthur B

at 13:32 on 2011-10-28Hi dcc46, welcome to Ferretbrain!

I've not read

The Boys

but I have read enough Ennis to at least address this point:

Firstly, Garth Ennis is demonstrably not a hack. That's just incredibly lazy.

You know what else is incredibly lazy? Basing your writing career so heavily on cheap shock tactics which come across like a 13 year old trying to be edgy. I couldn't get past the first volume of

Preacher

because Ennis' obsession with gore, fucking, and other scatological subjects just became intensely monotonous. His contributions to 2000 AD were much the same. His

Hellblazer

run started out brilliantly - I think

Dangerous Habits

is both the best thing he's written and the best

Hellblazer

story that

anyone

has written - but I couldn't abide the rest of it precisely because he kept falling back into bad habits.

When a man makes a career out of indulging his puerile instincts to an extent where consistently and repeatedly his material degenerates into lame attempts to be shocking for the sake of it, that's pretty hackish.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 13:51 on 2011-10-28Well, if that's all you've read of Hellblazer, that's cool. When he was, what, 21, he wrote that. There was a bit of a fall off in quality before he'd come back with stories of Kit and Ric the Vic and end up telling stories of the devil contrasted with the nasty realities of racial politics in early 90s London.

If you passed on Preacher, that's cool. That second story arc is uninspired. But you missed out on a a meditation of faith, friendship, watching a man try to navigate between his old-fashioned 'chivalry' and a woman who refused to be patronised or left behind.

So I honestly don't see shocking for shocking's sake. I see bad taste. But I've never felt there's a kind of splatter punk aesthetic at work.

That's sort of my point.

I see humour that may or may not work for you. But I'm suggesting to you that if you can get past the guts and jizz all over the shop. And if that's really a sticking point for you, then you won't ever get into it.

But I think your wrong if puerility is all you get out of the work.

I know you had issues with his early 2000AD run. I never got that. I'm Australian and 2000AD seemed to ship... on a madman's calendar. So I can't comment on that.

So I tell you what. Try something like his PG Hitman. His war stories, where he reigns himself in. His Punisher MAX, which is humorless as a Derek Raymond novel.

But I'll split you the difference: Jennifer Blood is fucking awful.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 14:05 on 2011-10-28Anyways, I'm off.

But, a hack writer is a bad writer. Matt Reiley is a hack writer. He's bad at the English language, his plots are hackneyed, his haircut is stupid.

If you don't like Ennis' work, that's cool. But just because you think he wraps things up in grossness doesn't make him a bad writer -at all-. He's an accomplished writer with themes and metaphors and all that writery stuff.

Nevertheless, good site. Talk later.

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valse de la lune

at 16:00 on 2011-10-28

So don't like it. That's cool. It's not like I'll gnash teeth if you don't like what I like. But this review has really failed to come to grips with and has actively misrepresented the text.

How quaint; you appear to be gnashing your teeth exactly because Cyrus didn't like the thing. I also agree with Arthur's assessment of Ennis: overrated hack pandering to things teenage boys--usually teenage white boys at that, what with the n-word thing--find oh so edgy and clever.

Preacher

is absolutely fucking unreadable and I spit in its general direction.

And, while you can certainly use the word "hack" to denote a poor writer--which I'd argue Ennis

is

, at that--his general attitude and output are pretty hacky too, in the lowest-common-denominator sense.

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:31 on 2011-10-29Here's the thing: whatever good points or ideas Ennis may have are ruined by the juvenile shock tactics he wraps them in -- it's one thing to use violence and sex occasionally and for great effect, it's another to use them

all the time.

For example, I can agree with Ennis that St. Patrick's Day is an excuse for every American with a drop of Irish blood to wear green and get sick on beer, but when he ends this commentary on a close-up on a hat filled with puke, it makes me roll my eyes.

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Show / Hide Comments -- More in April 2009

[hamiltontrashaccount]

Promise Me: Part 5 (Anthony Ramos x Reader)

Hey everyone! I know its taken me a while to get to this update and I’m sorry! But I’ve been pretty good with my writing lately, so the updates will come out a little more often (at least until school starts, which is why I’m rushing to write everything now lol). But yes, I hope you all enjoy :))

Pairing: Anthony Ramos x Reader, Platonic Phillipa Soo x Reader

Word Count: 4468

Warnings: Cursing (like always, Idk how to not curse), some NSFW, underage drinking

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

MASTERLIST

“What?”

“The elevator hasn’t moved.”

“Oh no.” You said, looking around the small space as if you could find the answer on the floor.

“Holy shit, is the elevator stuck?” Anthony shouted. “The elevator can’t be stuck!”

“I don’t know! This has never happened before.” You shouted just as loud.

Anthony walked over to the doors and started trying to pry them open. You started jumping up, trying (unsuccessfully) to reach the hatch at the top.

“Stop jumping. You’re going to make the cords snap!” Anthony said after he gave up with the doors.

“I don’t even weigh 145, and you’re worried that the cords will snap under my weight?”

“Well we already have bad luck being trapped in this elevator. What makes you think we won’t get more bad luck?”

“Anthony Ramos Martinez, I’m pretty sure my small ass isn’t going to break the fucking elevator.”

“You never know!”

“I do know!” You screamed, stomping your foot on the floor, earning a warning glance from Anthony.

Anthony shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re stuck in here.”

“We’ll be okay. We just have to call the authorities.” You said calmly, taking out your phone.

No bars.

“Well, we’re fucked. No bars.” You showed Ant your phone. “Now we have to wait until someone comes.”

“Fuck that.” Anthony said before he started shouting, his voice cracking. “Help! We’re stuck! Help us!”

Suddenly the elevator doors opened.

“What are you screaming about?” Phillipa asked when the doors were completely open.

“Oh my god, Pippa. I’ve never been happier to see you.” Anthony said, trampling Phillipa with a hug.

“Oh okay.” Phillipa laughed before hugging him back.

“The elevator wasn’t stuck. We just didn’t push the button.” You realized.

Anthony pulled back from his hug with your sister.

“We didn’t? I could have sworn we did.”

“No, you started whining about the cold and none of us pushed the button.”

Suddenly you and Anthony just started laughing. Phillipa laughed too, although not as hard as you and Anthony.

When your laughters started dying down (almost 10 minutes later), you both looked up to see tears in each other’s eyes.

“Are you crying?” You asked through your giggles.

“I was scared.” He defended. You shook your head and let out a couple of more giggles before stopping.

“Are you both sane now? Can I go upstairs and sleep?” Phillipa asked.

Anthony nodded his head. “Yeah, sorry Pippa.”

“It’s fine. Thanks for walking Y/N home.” She said, opening her arms out for a goodbye hug from him. He hugged her, gave you a pat on your shoulder and left.

“Did you both seriously think you were trapped in there?” Phillipa asked while stepping into the elevator.

“It didn’t move! What were we supposed to think?”

Phillipa only laughed and put her arm around you.

Since it was late, you and Phillipa decided to just watch a couple episodes of Gilmore Girls, then went to bed.

The next morning, you woke up to a bunch of texts in yours and the boy’s group chat.

Daveed and Oak were making fun of you and Anthony for the night before.

“How in the hell did you guys find out anyway?” you asked in the group chat.

“Pippa told everyone right as she got in.” Anthony explained.

“What a fake.” you said, referring to your sister.

“Y/N you should come visit us at the theater. And bring food b4 you come” Daveed texted.

“Only if you guys pay for it.”

Daveed, Oak and Ant all sent “Deal”, and you stood up to get ready.

You ordered Chinese food for you and the boys.

When you stepped into the theater, you could see everyone’s head turned. They could smell the food, you guessed.

Daveed suddenly came bouncing towards you.

“Thank you for this, you can leave now.” He said, grabbing the food then shooing you away.

You just stared at him until he smiled and put an arm over your shoulder. Because you were much shorter than him, he had to bend pretty far in order to properly wrap his arm around you.

“We’re all in our dressing room.” Daveed said, guiding you to the room.

Once you stepped foot in there, Ant and Oak both cheered.

“The food is here!” Ant shouted.

“Yes she is.” You mumbled than you shook your head. “Wait, no. That’s not what I- No! I swear that came out wrong I- Daveed stop taking a video of me! I didn’t mean to say that!”

Daveed put his phone down and, while still laughing, asked, “What did you mean to say then?”

“I-I- ugh! I don’t know, but shut up and pretend like that didn’t happen.”

“That was hilarious, Y/N.” Oak said, patting you on the shoulder before sitting back down on the floor and grabbing his food from the bag.

You sat next to Ant, who was also sitting on the floor (opposite of Oak), and crossed your legs.

“I- I didn’t mean what I said.” You explained to Ant. His face was red as he nodded his head, telling you that it was okay.

You didn’t see Daveed give Anthony a wink, making him blush even harder (if that were possible).

Whatever conversation the boys were having before you got there continued. You laughed, not giving your own commentary to the topic, but laughing at the ones the boys gave while eating your rice.

“Woah is that a tattoo?” Anthony asked, pointing at your thigh. His fingers gently touched your skin, and you immediately got goosebumps.

“Yeah, I got it before I went to Europe.” You lifted up your shirt, revealing the elephant that was on your inner thigh.

“Why an elephant?” Daveed asked, an egg roll stuffed in his mouth.

“Phill and I loved elephants when we were younger. So I got one so that she would always be with me.” You blushed. “God that’s cheesy.”

The boys laughed. “It’s cute.” Anthony said. “Do you have anymore?”

“Yeah, I have one on my foot, another two on my back, one right here,” You pointed underneath your breast.  “And one on my stomach.”

“Ooooh, let’s see them.” Oak said, shoving a wonton in his mouth.

You put down your own food and lifted up your shirt then angled yourself to reveal the ones on your back. The names Eliza and Natasha were written below your shoulder blade.

“Eliza for Eliza Hamilton, and Natasha for Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet?” Daveed asked.

You nodded your head, then turned back around to show the one on your stomach. It read In the Heights in bold letters.

Daveed gave you a face saying “Really?”

You giggled and shrugged your shoulder. You dropped your shirt so that you could show the one on your ankle. All you had to do was lift down your sock. The tattoo read Libertyville.

“Gotta remember where you came from.” Oak commented. You nodded your head while smiling, then grabbed your food to start eating again.

“What does the other one say?” Anthony asked, eating some noodles.

“It says mine and Phillipa’s name.”

“Nice.” Anthony said.

The boys had another hour before showtime, so you all decided to play a game: Uno.

You and Oak decided to be on the same team, while Daveed and Anthony were on the other.

You stood up to swtich to your team’s side then the game began.

Daveed was getting annoyed with you and Anthony. If he had to watch you two give each other more flirty looks again, he was going to shoot himself. If he had to hear you tw giggle at each other’s mistakes one more time, he was going to shoot you both.

“20 minutes till showtime!” somebody called from outside the room.

“Oh thank God.” Daveed groaned, standing up from his seat on the couch.

“If I had to hear you guys giggle at each other one more time I was gonna kill myself.” Oak added. Daveed was glad he wasn’t the only one annoyed by the two.

“We’ll leave the room, so you guys can do whatever to let this shit out of your system.” Daveed said, walking out of the room, grabbing the remnants of his costume from the seat in the corner.

Oak did the same, and soon you and Anthony were alone in the room.

“We weren’t doing anything right-”

“Yeah, no we weren’t!”

“They’re just being assholes-”

“That’s exactly what they’re doing.” You said, ending the back and forth between you and Anthony. You both sat in silence before Anthony decided to speak.

“Maybe I should finish getting dressed.”

“Yeah. You do that and I’ll leave.”

“No, you can stay. If you want.”

“And watch you get undressed?”

“I only have to change my shirt.” Anthony shrugged.

“As appealing as that is, if Phillipa wonders where I am, she can’t find out I was in here watching you take off your shirt.”

Anthony nodded his head. “You’re right. I don’t want her to kick my ass.”

You laughed and walked out of the room, closing the door as you left.

You stood backstage, keeping whoever wasn’t on stage occupied. By Act 2, Anthony was pretty much the only one you were consistently with. At one point, you guys were too busy laughing for Anthony to notice that it was his time to go on stage.

As you watched Ant die on stage, you started crying. That entire scene never failed to make you shed tears. As the scene ended, Anthony bounced to where you stood, off to the side of the stage.

“Are you crying?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“No,” You wiped your tears from your face. “I’m sweating. It’s hot as fuck back here.”

Anthony laughed and he stood beside you, watching Lin and Phillipa mourn over Anthony in It’s Quiet Uptown.

“I think Phillip is my favorite character to play.”

You turned to look at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know. He’s just so innocent and trustworthy. The way he just assumed Eacker would be respectable and not shoot him. It’s just… Really commendable, you know?”

Your eyes starting tearing again, thinking about how poor Phillip only deserved the world and all he got was shot in his stomach. “I know.” You said, nodding your head.

“Oh jeez, are you crying again?” He laughed.

“No. Like I said, it’s hot.”

“Yeah sure it is.” Anthony said sarcastically.

The both of you watched the show in almost complete silence, only sharing commentary at the most interesting moments.

When the show was over and everyone was out of their costumes and ready to head home, Daveed invited you out with his a couple of his friends, Oak, Ant and Renee among the group.

As you were about to accept, Phillipa butted in. “It’s really late, so we should be heading home.”

“Sorry Phill, my bed time isn’t until, like, midnight. And it’s about 10 now, so...”

Phillipa didn’t respond, just gave you a look from the side of her eye, telling you that you should decline the offer.

“I’ll take a raincheck on this one, Diggs.”

Daveed nodded, said his goodbyes then left.

Once he was gone, you turned to Phillipa. “Why did you do that?”

She looked shocked. “Do what? It’s late, we should go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a busy day.” She hiked up her bag higher on her shoulder and started walking.

“What are we doing tomorrow then?”

“Steven and I are going out tomorrow.”

“Are you seriously inviting me to your date? With your fiance?”

“You like Steven.” Phillipa defended.

“That doesn’t mean I want to go on a date with you guys!”

“You know he wouldn’t mind.”

“I’m not going on a date with you tomorrow Phill.”

“You’re not- ugh, fine. What are gonna do tomorrow then?”

“Stay home, sleep, eat food, sleep.”

“You see that’s not productive.”

“Oh and being a third wheel is?”

“You’re not going to be a thi-”

“You of all people should know that being the third wheel isn’t fun.” You said as a taxi finally stopped to let you and your sister on.

“I- wha- That was once! I was only 15! And I didn’t even know I was being a third wheel!”

“Doesn’t erase the fact that you were one.” You said, raising up your hands in surrender.

“God! Okay fine, you don’t have to come. You win, happy?”

“Very.”

Back home, you and Phillipa got ready for bed and went to sleep. You stayed up a little longer, scrolling through instagram before you finally felt tired enough to fall asleep.

The next morning you woke up pretty early. Phillipa already left, her and Steven obviously wanting their date to last the whole day.

Since it was only 10 in the morning, you decided to just laze around, doing small chores. You collected up your dirty clothes from that week so you could walk to the laundromat across the street. When you grabbed your phone, you noticed a text from Anthony.

“Wanna hang out today?” he asked.

You typed out a yes and asked when and where.

“Anywhere you want you sexy thang ;)”

“Wow” you sent, with a crying laughing emoji behind it

“Ha I know, you're probably drooling rn”

“im really not though but we could meet up at Mulligan’s?” Mulligan’s was a bar that was a couple blocks away from the theater where Phillipa worked.

“Sounds great. See ya in 10?”

“make that 15, I dont have appropriate clothes on”

“Alright, see ya”

You quickly got dressed in jeans and a tank top that you had bought months ago but never got a chance to wear. You only put on mascara then walked outside your apartment building to hail a cab, completely forgetting about you laundry.

I could do it later after we hang out. You thought to yourself.

Only five minutes late, you step into the bar and look around for Anthony. You found him sitting at one of the few tables in the bar and walked to the table to sit across from him.

Anthony smiled wide when he saw you.

“Hey!” He said. He stood up and took out your seat for you. When you were sitting is when he finally sat back down in his own seat.

You smiled at him. “What’s up?”

He shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to do today so I called you up.”

“Umm, okay so I see I’m second rate. I’ll just leave then.” You joked.

Anthony shook his head and laughed. “Chill. Anyway, I thought you’d be pretty cool to hang with.”

“‘Pretty cool’.” You mocked. “So I am second rate?”

“Always.”

“Asshole.” You laughed.

The waitress came by and put a cheeseburger down on Anthony’s side. She looked to you, her eyes unfriendly.

“Do you want anything?” She asked in a bored voice. She rolled her eyes when you took a second too long to answer.

“No, I thought I was just gonna sit here and stare at my boyfriend eat.” You answered, earning a baffled look from Ant. He opened and closed his mouth before deciding to keep quiet. You didn’t notice the light tint of pink on his cheeks, or the smile that was spreading across his face. He liked you saying the word boyfriend.

“He’s your boyfriend?” The waitress said. “You managed to snatch him up?”

“Yup. Are you jealous?”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. If I wanted to, I could take him from you.”

Anthony snorted. She looked at him before looking back at you.

“Not with those shit stains on your shirt.”

Her eyes darkened with anger. “It’s food.” She walked away, mumbling under her breath.

“Boyfriend?” Anthony said.

You looked up. “She liked you, and when she thought I was moving in on you she got pissed at me. I had to mess with her.”

Anthony laughed. He grabbed the knife beside his plate and cut the burger in half. He handed you one half.

“What if I didn’t want a burger?” You asked, taking a bite out of it.

“You, not eat a burger?” Anthony said. He snorted. “Not likely.”

“Fuck you.” You mumbled with food in your mouth.

“Besides, she’s not coming back over here. Ever again. And I also wanted to go restaurant hopping. I’ve never done it.”

“Oh that’s so fun!” You said. “We did it all the time in London, there are so many restaurants over there. But I can’t.”

“Why?” Anthony said after swallowing whatever food he had in his mouth.

“I have chores to do.”

He shrugged. “I’ll help you with them, what do we have to do?”

“First laundry. Then after that I was gonna go shopping cause none of my clothes really fit me anymore.”

Anthony was nodding his head. “Alright, alright. What else?”

“Umm… I was also gonna check out the NYU campus.“

That made Anthony turn his head. “Why?”

“I kinda want to go back to school. Or at least take some classes so I’m not behind when I decide to go back full time.”

He nodded his head. “Alright, that’ll be fun.”

You both finished your meal quickly and stood up. You started taking out some cash before Anthony stopped you and took out his own cash. He paid for the meal (a guesstimate, since the bitchy waitress never gave you guys your bill), leaving no tip for the waitress and put his hand on the small of your back, guiding you to the door.

“Ant, I can pay for my own meal, you know?”

“It’s cool.” He said, shrugging one shoulder.

“Stop being nice to me, oh my god.”

He smiled and put his arm around your shoulder. You were glad he did, because the air was colder than when you first went out.

“Where to first?”

“My apartment so I can grab my clothes.”

After grabbing your laundry, you and Ant walked to the laundromat. Directly in front of the laundromat was a hotdog stand and Anthony bought one, for you and him.

“This counts as restaurant hopping right?” He asked.

“Yeah, definitely.”

Your laundry didn’t take long, since you didn’t have too much clothing. After dropping off your clothes, Ant led you the opposite direction of where you wanted to go.

“Uhh, Ant? The mall is that way.” You said, pointing behind you.

“There’s a clothing shop a couple blocks from here. You’ll like it.”

The walk was short, as he’d promised, and you soon stood in front of a store called, “European Fashion.”

“Nice.” You said. “Is this just because I went there?”

He nodded. “Pretty much, yeah.”

Inside, the store was normal. Nothing special, just regular clothes that you would’ve found at the mall.

You tried on a few outfits. You stepped out to ask Ant his opinion on one of them only to find him gone.

“Anthony?” You called out.

The lady who owned the store stepped from around a rack of jeans. “Your friend stepped out.”

“Oh, okay.” You said. “Thanks.”

You stepped back inside the dressing room and changed back into your own clothes.

You weren’t worried, cause you knew Anthony would never leave you. But you did wonder where he went.

By the time you had all your clothes picked out, Anthony stepped back into the store.

“Your girlfriend was looking for you.” The owner of the shop said again.

“Thanks.” He said, smiling. He came up to you and you noticed he had two small cups in his hands.

“What are those?” You asked, placing your items on the counter. The owner started ringing everything up.

“Italian ice.” He said, handing you one and making a spoon appear from his back pocket.

You thanked him and started eating it. It was almost $100.

“Do you have enough?” Anthony asked, staring at the total like it was gonna form into a human and attack him.

“Yeah.” You said, unsure if you actually did. Miraculously, you had 4 20’s, 3 10’s and 2 5’s in your wallet. You paid the owner and soon you and Anthony were walking back out.

Taking another quick trip to your apartment, you and Anthony then decided to go to another restaurant.

“After this, we’ll go to NYU.” He said.

“Nah, I think we can do that next time. I really just want to eat food right now.”

Anthony gave you a look.

“What? Don’t look at me like that. I like food.”

Anthony rolled his eyes.

“Okay, but next time we’re seriously going to go check out, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mom.” Anthony rolled his eyes again, but let the subject go.

The rest of the afternoon was spent restaurant hopping. Everyone continuously confused you and Ant as boyfriend and girlfriend but neither of you corrected them. With the way you two were acting, it was no wonder anybody thought you were together.

Any time the other would do something, you both would giggle and laugh until people gave you weird looks. Any time you could, you snuggled up close to him and tucked your head underneath his chin.

And the thing that made everyone believe you two were together was something neither of you noticed the other doing. Every time you smiled, Anthony stared at you as if you were sent from heaven above. And every time Anthony would start talking, you would stare at him and only him, a smile playing at your lips.

When you and Ant were at your fourth restaurant, someone walked up to your table. It was an old friend from high school.

“Oh my god! Y/N! How have you been?” he asked.

“Hey, Andrew! I’ve been great, you?”

“Good too, college sucks, you know?”

You laughed. “Can’t relate.”

“Lucky.” He said. “Hey, my frat is having a party tonight at 8. You should come over, bring your boyfriend too.”

“Oh… He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh really?” Andrew said, now giving Anthony a flirty look.

“Sorry, man. Don’t bat for the other team.” Anthony said chuckling and putting his arms up in surrender.

“Ah, I’m just messing with ya. I have a girlfriend anyway. But yeah, you both should come.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Anthony answered. You looked at him. He only shrugged one shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess we’ll go. Where is it at?”

Andrew gave you the address. “Knock twice on the door and that’s how they’ll know not to charge you guys.”

“Alright cool. See ya man.” You said. Andrew hugged you, gave Ant a fist bump then left.

You looked at the time on your phone. It was currently 7:30.

“Well, I guess we could start walking there. By the time we get there the party will have started.”

You nodded your head. For the fifth time that day, Anthony paid for both your meals.

“Ant!”

“I can pay it. Just relax.” He said. Once outside, Anthony took out his phone and typed in the address.

“Its this way.” he said, pointing to the left. The moment you both started walking, Anthony put his arm around you and you responded by snuggling closer to him.

Halfway to the party, you and Ant decided to take a cab the rest of the way. When you finally got there, at 8:27, Anthony paid for the cab. You gave him a dirty look and he just took your hand. You both walked to the door and you knocked twice.

The guy at the front let you both in, free, and you stood by the doorway.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never been to a frat party.” You said.

“It’ll be fine.” Anthony said. He gripped your hand tighter and you walked deeper into the house.

The music was pretty loud and the entire house was dark too. Eventually you and Anthony reached the kitchen, where you saw Andrew talking to a girl.

“Hey, it’s Y/N and her boyfriend!”

Andrew’s girlfriend came up to you and hugged you. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same to you.” You said. She hugged Anthony next. When she pulled away, she took a good look at Ant.

“You’re right, babe. He is hot.”

“Told you.” Andrew laughed, putting an arm around her. “Beer is in the fridge, and there might be some vodka bottles floating around somewhere. Have fun, and if you guys need anything, let me know.” He gave you a wink before walking away.

You walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer for both you and Anthony.

“Well, this’ll be fun.” He said, opening his beer and taking a sip.

Fun it was.

About two hours later, you were completely wasted. An hour after you, Anthony himself got wasted.

There was, in fact, lots of vodka bottles floating around the frat house, and you and Ant drank your fair share of it.

With now no inhibitions, you and Ant flirted freely.

“Blue looks so fucking amazing on you.” Anthony said, grabbing your hips and pulling your dancing body closer to him.

“Everything looks amazing on you.” You giggled. Another guys walked up to you both, asking you to dance with him.

Anthony gave him a dirty look and said, “If you touch her, I’ll break your fucking hand.”

The guy walked away, finding another girl to dance with almost immediately after.

Even though he couldn’t, Anthony kept trying to bring you closer to him. You were practically humping on his leg, but you were so drunk you didn’t even notice.

A new song started playing, and it was much slower and sensual than the last few songs. The few people on the dance floor who didn’t have a partner left.

You and Anthony stayed dancing, slowing down your rhythms until your grinding matched the song.

Anthony’s mouth trailed slowly up your jaw before his mouth reached your ear.

“It's 2 o'clock... I'm driving home.” Ant sang into your ear. “Texting you... tryna wrap your legs around my face.” His hand started trailing up and down your arm. His other hand moved from your waist, lower and lower until it was grabbing your ass, pulling you down more onto his leg, until the only thing that you were grinding on was his leg.

“But have no fear… Cuz' what we did… Scratches on my back… That good love.” Anthony continued to rasp into your ear. He bit your ear, making you inhale quickly at the sharp pain. Anthony’s lips started moving lower, kissing your neck then kissing whatever other skin he could find.

“You tweet but you ain't calling… And now I'm feeling horny… I got no patience.” He said, before moving his face up. Your noses were touching, your breaths mingling. Anthony’s lips moved closer to yours, until they were barely touching.

“I got no patience.” Anthony sang once more before his lips covered yours.

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*