#this feels so wrong with the conflicting tags but oh well
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l1ttles3am0th · 11 months ago
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Fellas, I have a little problem with something I want to implement into my AU, (being TSAMS characters,) but doing so would cause major conflict with a key, central, and crucial element of the AU. Below are the details and a TLDR. Don’t mind the tags looking absolutely wrong together, as I need a lot of answers in order to build a basis and need maximal reach to do so in proper relation to the topics at hand.
So, I’m thinking of implementing a few of the Sun and Moon Show characters into my FNaF AU as a side project (the story behind their existence in context to my AU being that they were originally supposed to be part of a Daycare expansion before the whole place burned to the ground and their plans had to be sold to make up for the loss, resulting in them ultimately being built and given life by other people.) Thing is, in TSAMS, Sun and Moon are brothers, whilst in the Mothiverse (which was established long before I thought of implementing TSAMS characters), Sunny and Moon are lovers without any form of blood or familial relations outside of their marriage. I see a lot of potential in the implementation of these characters, but at the same time, I’m getting myself into a massive balancing act with this one. I’ll either have to be extremely careful, put a bajillion disclaimers on all of my work, or shelve the idea altogether. I really love this idea and I see so much potential for it, but given the conflict it’s going to cause with the AU’s main ship, it’s gonna be extremely difficult to handle without feedback.
Is there anything you would suggest in order to go about this? How would YOU approach this problem if you were in my shoes? I’d love to hear your suggestions. Also, for reference, Sun x Moon (aka Nightlight or Solstice) is an extreme comfort and coping mechanism of mine, and given that its been engrained into the very fabric of my AU since the literal beginning of SB’s implementation into it, it’s gonna be damn-near impossible to retcon it out. Thank you for listening.
TLDR: I want to implement TSAMS characters (Earth, Solar, Lunar, Eclipse, BloodMoon, etc..) into an AU with Sun x Moon as the main ship, but that’s gonna cause a fuckton of problems, and I need feedback on how to do this effectively and tastefully, if at all.
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quirkle2 · 6 months ago
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I was wondering if there are any rare happy ritsu moments in ur zombie au since hes always miserable I think,, like is he always miserable or is he happy/not miserable and feeling kinda good sometimes?
VWHDGDGD NO YEAH OFC HE'S HAPPY SOMETIMES im just horrible and enjoy putting him through misery
ive never been able to get a genuine smile to look right on his face in my art style either i think thats part of it. as ive said his face is just built to be mildly uncomfortable and bothered and i lean into it sm it's starting to get kinda funny
but yes ritsu is happy plenty! i think, canonically, he just seems like the type of person to me that tends to turn lemonade back into lemons. he's easy to scare and his first reaction to things is often Dread and Anxiety. he dwells on the negatives a lot and seems to be a "hope for the best, expect the worst," kinda guy, but there's a section in this post abt shigeo always loving the little things in life, and ritsu steadily learns throughout the journey on how to do that and how healing it can rly be. even if he had to grow up too fast during this whole thing and learn things a kid should never have to, the journey also gave him some good insight and lessons in other places! ritsu is smart, he figures it all out
in terms of little things here n there he's the happiest lil guy on the planet when he finds one of his favorite foods—swings his legs while he sits and munches on a kitkat bar like he's got absolutely nothin in the world to worry abt. sometimes mob does smth funny that he laughs at; for the longest time i've had this silly image in my head of mob accidentally knocking down a bucket from a store shelf and it lands on his head and he just kinda stands there and makes noises.when the noises continue out of pure curiosity about the weird echoey quality it's giving them ritsu cannot help but lose it
besides tiny things tho, when tome comes around ritsu in general is a lot happier, just cuz he has somebody to talk to that will actually respond in some way. they're sorta reluctant partners in crime at first (at least on ritsu's end) but over time and over bonding they grow to rly like each other's presence. they bicker constantly but it's almost always fond eventually, and they shove each other and playfight until mob gets antsy enough to get worked up about it. rly, tome is a godsend to ritsu's mental health—after months and months of being effectively alone with his thoughts, he finally has another person to converse with. a person His Age, too!
tome is rly good at knowing when ritsu is thinkin himself into oblivion and she's Also rly good at being the most annoying girl on the planet to yank him outta that and replace any misery with Oh My God Get Off Me You Freak. she doesn't even do this on purpose at first, but over time she learns how to tell when he's thinking too hard and, ofc, she's grown attached and she cares, so she's as obnoxious as possible to lighten the mood
when they find reigen n teru, ritsu gradually gets Much happier still. now that he knows they're safe and the gang is finally back together (and now that there's an Adult present and he can relax a lil and let himself be taken care of) his stress levels r exponentially lowered. having teru back is another instant lift to his mood—im always a big fan of teru and ritsu friendship, and i think adding tome to their dynamic simply makes it more chaotic. truly a trio of the 3 most normal teenagers in existence which will surely bring nothing but good (reigen sweats offscreen)
actually this makes me feel bad for forever torturing him im gonna go draw happy zau ritsus brb ,.,.ok imback <3
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#qktalks#anon#zombie au#tw guns#<- for that glock in the corner . sorry#actually it looks like he's at gunpoint in that one and just going teehee about it#he looooooves tormenting tome .and tome loves tormenting him. it's their favorite pastimes#i don't rly like the second one too much tbh the sleeves are weird but i think that's just the Nature of how poofy they can get#oh this is a great time to talk abt their dynamic. sorry.this ask isn't abt that.but now it is#so i realize that tome and ritsu ??? don't rly interact in canon at all. and neither do tome and teru . as a matter of fact#but consider. uhm.what ifthey did <3 GVYIEAV#like i said they're all So incredibly normal it'll make for a great time#^ genuinely i do think so actually. most of the time anyway#i touched on it a lil bit in recondite but i rly like the idea of mob ritsu tome and teru all being a friend group#teru would undoubtedly piss tome off sometimes she'd call him out on his bullshit#but like.in terms of the canon timeline i think post-mob teru would Totally listen to her#and take what she says abt How he is into consideration. he's trying to rebuild himself into somebody better#teru and ritsu already have a dynamic in canon but it feels pretty loose and it isn't fully explored at all#i think they work together rly well tho. there's no real evidence to the contrary iirc i think they work together in canon quite well#they think alike in terms of fighting#and in a setting like this‚ once teru is on the same page as ritsu on zombies‚ they're prolly a pretty damn good team#there's a lot of room for things to go wrong tho#if i had to sum it up rly succinctly it'd be: ritsu's motive is fear‚ tome's motive is curiosity‚ and teru's motive is power#what i mean by teru's being power is Not the pre-mob teru ''wanting'' to be powerful and unstoppable#i mean teru wants to have power over everything that is trying to hurt them#he doesn't Want to cower he wants to Fight tooth and nail#and i think ritsu's fear versus tome's curiosity and teru's drive of power conflicts a lot#ritsu is passive in the sense that he'll do anything in his power to avoid altercations with anything to order to keep mob safe#he isn't Active until something goes Wrong. and usually things go Wrong when teru and tome rush ahead#WOW sorry i went on a rant that was Completely unrelated to the fucking question. im at the 30 tag limit bye
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emoreemadden · 3 months ago
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hii! it’s been a while <3 anyways here’s a request from a friend.
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Outline: Gojo doesn’t want to be your friend anymore and tells you straight to your face. Unfortunately, you take it the wrong way.
Content Warnings: fluff kinda?, angst ish???, miscommunication trope 😭 idk not many tags or warnings for this one. lmk if i missed anything
Featuring: Gojo Satoru, fem!reader
A/N: i was supposed to finish this WAYYYYYY sooner 😭 my bad… word count: 1815
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Gojo Satoru. An enigma for sure.
You both have been best friends for longer than you remember. Well, maybe best friends is the wrong term. You said you were best friends, but it didn’t feel that way. At least not to you.
Every time you saw Gojo, your heart would flutter. Perhaps it was normal, you didn’t know. All you knew was that you had some kind of feelings for him.
You just wished he felt the same.
“What’s wrong?” Gojo had noticed you’d been acting different recently. He puts a hand on your shoulder. “You’re being weird.”
You shrug at him, trying to act normal. Even though you’ve always felt this way about him, you’ve only just now stopped bothering to hide it.
“I don’t know.” Your eyes flit to the ground. “Just tired, I guess.”
And Gojo, being the nice guy that he is, pulls you into a hug. It shouldn’t make you feel this way, like there’s butterflies in your stomach. But it does.
You’re conflicted between wanting to cry and wanting to hug him until you two became one.
“You should get some rest.” He suggests, pulling away and flashing you one of his cheery grins.
“I’ll try my best.” You smile back, though it’s not very passionate.
Gojo pats your head. There’s a pitiful look on his face. “Are you still down for lunch tomorrow?” He asks. Always so considerate, yet he’s never realized how you feel about him.
“Yeah, sure.” You try to up the dosage of your weary smile. “You still working on that surprise?” You ask. Gojo’s been planning this for weeks, teasing you about his “lunch date surprise.”
He grins cheekily. “‘Course I am.” His slender fingers fidget with his sleeves. “What kind of friend would I be to go back on my word?”
Friend.
The word taunts you like a bully, but you push the thought away. It’s all you’ll ever be, anyways. Friends.
You chuckle when you snap back to reality. “A pretty shitty one, I’d say.”
“Language, young lady.” He teases. You open your mouth to say something, but his phone rings.
“Sorry, I gotta go.” He gives you an apologetic look. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah? Be prepared!” He looks giddy.
“Yep.” You reply tightly. “Bye, ‘Toru.” You wave as he walks away.
“Do I buy her flowers or something?” Gojo says to Suguru over the phone.
“You’ve been thinking about this for weeks. Why has it only occured to you now to get her flowers?” Suguru replies, and Gojo can practically hear him rolling his eyes.
“Well I don’t normally confess to my best friend-” Geto tuts before he can continue.
Gojo sighs. “Okay, girl best friend. Better?” He asks.
“No, but continue anyways.” There’s an awkward pause on Gojo’s part.
“I’m nervous.” Gojo finally admits. “I’m like, really nervous.”
Suguru chuckles. “Gojo Satoru, the strongest Sorcerer there is, is nervous to confess to a girl.” He says, his laugh getting louder. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh shut up, would you?” And Geto only laughs harder, his chuckle turning into full blown howling.
“Fuck off!” And with that, the call clicks off. Gojo sighs, shoving his phone in his pocket and falling back onto his bed.
“I’m screwed.”
You sit at the cafe Gojo had invited you too weeks prior, sighing as you stare at the clock.
“Where is he..?” You mutter to yourself.
Suddenly, as if on cue, he strides in as giddy as ever, looking around for a minute before spotting you and grinning.
“There you are!” He says as he sits down at the table with you. He’s sweating slightly, like he’s anxious.
You smile back at him, and immediately it feels like there’s a thorny rose in your belly, poking you from the inside. “Hey ‘Toru.”
He beams at you. “Did I keep you waiting long?” He asks, giving you an apologetic look for being a few minutes late.
You shake your head. “It’s alright. Now would you please tell me what your little surprise is?”
“Well I can’t give it away so easily!” He pouts playfully. “You haven’t even ordered.” He notes the empty table.
You sigh, before flagging down a waitress. “Can I please get two iced coffees?”
The waiter notes down your order and runs off, leaving you to stare at Satoru expectantly. “Yes I have.”
He tuts, rolling his eyes. “We’ll get to the surprise later. For now, tell me how your day is going.”
So you do. You two talk for a few minutes, and you practically forget about the surprise, until he reminds you.
“Alright, I’ll tell you your surprise now.” He says after the waitress leaves with Gojo’s order of a tiramisu cake and two spoons.
You perk up, curious to find out what he’s been alluding to for so long.
He takes a deep breath. “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”
You can almost hear the sound of your heart crunching as he steps on it with his words.
“What?” You squeak, tears forming in your eyes.
Gojo stares at you, confused. “Didn’t you hear me?”
You swallow thickly, feeling bile rise in your throat. “But… why?” You feel your tears rolling down your cheeks.
Gojo is alarmed, staring at your crying face. “Why are you crying? Do you… not feel the same?”
You shake your head feverishly, about to open your mouth, but the waitress places down your cake before you can speak.
Gojo looks down at the cake and then back up at you, his expression dimming.
“So you want to be friends?” He asks, sounding heartbroken himself.
You nod, confused. “I thought you did too!” Your chest swells with hurt.
Gojo seems completely distraught. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out. “…No.” He finally says, looking down at the ground.
You stand up from the table with your purse, placing down a few bills before sniffling, trying to wipe your eyes. “I’m going home.” You mumble, turning to leave.
Gojo just stares at you walk away, feeling his spirit burn. “Oh.” He whispers, looking down at the cake on the table.
You hop in your car, tears streaming down your face rapidly as you grip the steering wheel tightly. Your head collapses against the wheel and your body convulses as you sob, shaking like crazy.
You knew Gojo would never feel the same way about you as you did with him, but you thought you’d at least always be friends.
You whimper as you curl up into a ball in the driver's seat, too upset to drive.
Meanwhile, Gojo is inside the cafe, eating the cake silently while he stares at the second spoon.
He’s so confused. He had a sneaking suspicion that you’d reject his love for you, but he didn’t expect you to do it so heartlessly. You cried, for god’s sake! He hadn’t predicted for you to be so opposed to the idea of being more than friends with him.
He feels his heart clench when he remembers your face after he confessed. He sighs, finishing his desert before leaving the cafe defeatedly, his hands in his pockets as he walks home.
The second he opens his door, he collapses against it, sliding to his knees and curling into a ball. He thinks for a moment, before calling up Suguru.
“Have you done it yet? What did she say?” Is the first thing that comes out of Geto’s mouth when he picks up. The reminder of the whole debacle just makes Gojo even more sorrowful than he already was.
“She rejected me.” Gojo says solemnly. The air falls silent for a few moments.
Geto is the first to break the silence. “What did you say?” He finally asks.
Gojo sighs. “I said I didn’t want to be friends anymore.” He replies.
A beat of silence passes.
“And?” Geto urges.
Gojo, confused, replies. “And what?”
“And then what did you say?” He asks.
Still extremely confused, Gojo pauses. “…Nothing.” He says, a hint of uncertainty in his answer.
Geto, with a loud sigh, rolls his eyes. “Are you dumb?” He asks.
“Huh? What’d I do?!” Gojo frowns.
“You goddamn idiot, she probably thought you meant you didn’t want to be friends at all!” Suguru slaps his forehead, which is heard from Gojo’s end of the line.
“Because I don’t!” Gojo protests, now even more confused.
Suguru heaves with annoyance. “She thought you didn’t like her anymore, dumbass.”
Another beat of silence.
A wave of realization hits Gojo. “Oh, fuck.” Is all he says before hanging up and hopping to his feet, running out the door to go find you.
Luckily, on his run to your house, Satoru sees your car still parked outside of the cafe. Panting like a madman, he walks up to it and knocks on your passenger door window, startling you back into your surroundings.
Your eyes widen when you see Satoru awkwardly waving at you through your window. Your eyes are puffy and red from crying, which he notices.
He taps your window, as if to say ‘open up!”
You sniffle as you roll it down, rubbing your eyes.
“Hey, I think you misinterpreted what I said back there.” He gestures to the cafe, his sentence broken up by loud, heavy breaths.
“Why are you so tired?” You ask in return.
“I ran here.” He replies, giving you a lazy grin before he continues with his explanation.
“When I said I didn’t want to be friends anymore, I meant because I want to be more than friends.” He begins, poking his head through your open window to get a little closer to you.
“I really, really like you.” He confesses, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “And I don’t want to be friends. I want to be your boyfriend.”
You stare at him for a few seconds, before letting out a breathy laugh. “Of course you screwed up like that.” You mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose as you smile.
He ignored your little jab. “So? What do you say?” He asks. “Please don’t reject me, I ran all the way here.” He begs.
You laugh again, rubbing your red eyes and unlocking your car door. “I don’t want to be friends either, Satoru.”
His eyes light up at your statement and he immediately throws the door open, fitting himself into the passenger seat before he turns to face you.
“Really, you mean it?” He asks excitedly, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “You don’t?”
You smile. “Not at all.”
And with your confirmation, he grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss, gently wiping your past tears as he does so.
He pulls back for a second to grin at you. “Thank god, because I was not ready to run all the way back home.” He jokes before going back to kissing you.
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lgbtlunaverse · 8 months ago
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This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry
Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.
It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.
We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.
He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.
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But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.
And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry
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Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.
When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.
It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.
Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.
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(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)
It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.
And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)
But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?
To me, it looked like I had a choice.
See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.
So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?
And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!
Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.
So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.
Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.
I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.
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dykephan · 5 months ago
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i saw ur tags about snokoplasm being a queer metaphor and oh my god ur so right and u should say it
i'm sure someone smarter than me has already touched on it but this has always been my interpretation of snokoplasm and i'm happy to spread my agenda 😌
straight away, we see phil ask for snokoplasm, to which the exo helper automatically assumes he wants blue snokoplasm. this implies that a person's preferred color of snokoplasm can be inferred just by looking at them (or at least, you might think you know). upon hearing this, phil laughs and says:
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we don't know why, but clearly blue snokoplasm is viewed as something outside of the norm in society, undesirable, though not necessarily "wrong" (it's still being offered as a valid option, after all).
the exo helper responds:
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phil takes offense to this and says:
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from this, we understand that yellow = the presentation of traditional masculinity, therefore blue must be the opposite. part of the joke is that phil obviously does not have big muscles or a traditionally masculine appearance, yet in this instance, he wants to be perceived that way.
a curve ball is thrown when the exo helper says they only have green snokoplasm. this confuses phil. he insists that it's yellow, effectively forcing this green snokoplasm into the binary he sees the world through (it's blue or yellow, there are no shades of green). finally, phil purchases the green snokoplasm, though he still insists that it's yellow.
as he leaves, the exo helper says this:
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which cements the fact that blue snokoplasm is something to be enjoyed only in secret. furthermore, we know the internet played a large part in phil's self discovery as he used it to interact with all kinds of people, gaining confidence that he didn't always feel in person. and, well, we know phil did "buy the blue snokoplasm off the internet" around this time. ie. meet up with guys he met online and was interested in, without going public about it.
later, he asks the viewer whether we think the snokoplasm is yellow or green. this shows that he's conflicted now and he can no longer state with certainty that it is yellow.
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despite this inner conflict, the video ends with phil covering himself in yellow snokoplasm (which may or may not actually be green). he has chosen to align himself with the color society expects from him, even if it doesn't suit him. he's not ready yet to call it green, and he's certainly not ready to cover himself in blue snokoplasm for the whole world to see. but maybe someday 🥺
so anyway that's my argument that snokoplasm is a queer metaphor!! also it looks like lube. there, i said the obvious thing
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whiskeyghoul · 6 months ago
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Pt.5 || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]
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First chapter, Previous chapter, Next chapter
A/N: Get ready for some angst baby. So this is my first time writing something close to angsty. Which means I might not have completely perfected it yet. Then again there needs to be a first for everything. I hope you enjoy reading, and if you do, please let me know. My reqs are also open if people have any ideas they want to see written.
WC: 2,7K
Tags: Mild angst, conflicting feelings, a little hurt/comfort?, alt reader, realizing feelings, I don’t think this chapter is considered fluff. 
Warnings: mentions of anxiety, feeling alone, hinting at past relationships?
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Spencer POV
It was Thursday afternoon when Spencer had returned from a case. It was short, quick, which was nice because he wanted to go back to you. He had tried to call while away, to text you when he had time. Yet for some reason you hardly responded. You were slow to answer texts, the answers always short and quick. You had avoided his calls, when you did pick up they were equally as short as your texts. The tone was distant and a little cold. It was strange to him. The date had gone well, in his opinion, and he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. It was just a little nerve wracking. With every short message, every cut off call, his anxiety grew.
When they got back to Quantico, he was ready to head straight to your lab. Though he noticed there was no music when he arrived there, it was quiet inside. Too quiet. He gently knocked on the frosted glass door. There was no sound from inside, no light coming through the door. No indication that you were there. His shoulders sagged down, a little deflated. He had been looking forward to seeing you again, even if it was just to settle his own nerves. His hand found the cellphone in his pocket, he scrolled through the names until he found yours. Pressing the call button, he just really wanted to hear your voice. Needing to know if you were okay, if he hadn’t done something wrong. The phone rang, 3 times, heart beating out of his chest before you picked up.
“Hello, Y/N’s phone! Penelope speaking.” The familiar voice of their technical analyst sounded from the other end of the phone. Spencer furrowed his brow a little, “Hey, it’s Spencer… Is she with you?” He asked, his left hand holding on to the bottom edge of his sweater. “Oh! Spence! She just headed to the toilet, she should be back soon. Want me to take a message?” Penelope answered, her voice chipper, she probably didn’t know you had been avoiding him. Or if she did she didn’t let it show. “Can I come talk to her?” He asked, still a bundle of nerves, the bad kind. The one where a nauseous feeling settles in your stomach. Where every word could send him into a spiral if it was said with the wrong tone. “Ofcourse, I am sure you have a lot to talk about.” Penelope spoke, and he could tell there was something in her voice. She knew what was going on. It made his stomach sink further. 
Just like that his feet started moving already towards Penelope’s office. “Thanks, I’ll be there in a minute.” Spencer said and quickly hung up before anything she could say would make it worse. He was quick, hoping to be there before you came back, so you couldn’t avoid him. He was there in a minute, like he had said, quickly and almost feverishly knocking on the door. The rapid rap of his knuckles against the solid wood sounded hollow in his ears. Penelope opened, trying to put on a bubbly smile. Though he peered past her to see if you were already back. No sign yet. “Hey, you should come in.” Penelope opened the door wider and he stepped past her. “Has she said anything? About me?” Spencer’s question felt weird. He didn’t want to come across as clingy, or that he was obsessed, but he just had to understand why. Why had you been avoiding him?
“Slow down boy wonder. I think I am not the one to tell you about that.” Penelope answered as she closed the door, pointing towards one of the desk chairs. Spencer hadn’t noticed how he had been nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet until she did. He sat down, trying to regain some composure. “Did I do something wrong? I thought the date went well. Maybe I rambled too much… That's usually what happens. I should have just stayed quiet, listened to her.” He rambled off nervously, his mind spiraling back to when he had leaned in and told a fact when you had been expecting something completely different. But you had kissed him after that, twice, it was so conflicting. Confusing. Paradoxical. 
“Breathe!” Penelope urged, grabbing one of her many mugs with water and forcing it into Spencer’s hands. He took a gulp, hoping it would calm his nerves but it didn’t do anything. At Least he was silent. “Just…” Penelope sighed, “I can tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Spencer nodded his head, taking another swig of the lukewarm water. He hoped it hadn’t been out for too long, who knew what bacteria were growing if it had. Though the idea of it was a mere whisper in the back of his mind as his entire consciousness was taken up by his worried thoughts. “I should have told you before, I really should have but I didn’t expect it to happen this quickly.” Penelope sounded dejected. “What happened? Just tell me, please?” He didn’t like how whiny that please sounded, how desperate it made him sound. Even though he was desperate for answers. 
The door to Penelope’s office opened, “Honestly Pen, I don’t get why you have to be so far away from the b-” You stopped your sentence as your eyes met Spencer. He was desperately clinging on to the cup he was holding like it was his life line. “Hi…” was all he managed to say when he saw you. Even with all the conflicting feelings, your appearance still left him a little tongue tied. You weren’t wearing the lab coat, so he could fully appreciate your appearance. The black and red patterned dress was cut low, and hugged your hips and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your arms are covered with fishnet fabric, some parts more ripped up to create a few larger holes. More important to him was the belt, two clips extending to hold the hem, hiking up the skirt of your dress to show off just a sliver of your thigh. “Spencer.” The way you said his name still made his heart race. He got up from his chair, placing the mug back on Penelope’s desk. The blonde in question nudged you, Spencer could almost see the thoughts swimming behind your eyes. You must be just as nervous as he is. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Penelope said, quickly walking out the door of her own space, leaving the two of you there. Spencer’s heart was beating so loud, he could feel the blood rush under the skin of his hands. It was too silent as you both looked at eachother. 
“I want to-” “Why didn’t you-” Both of you spoke at the same time, breaking through the silence. There was a slight, awkward, chuckle that left Spencer. “You can go first.” He said, wringing his hands together involuntarily. “I want to apologize…” You said it softly. Spencer’s eyes flicked down to your right hand, twisting in the fabric of your dress. Your left was steadily turning a ring on your finger. Everything you did screamed nervous to him. “What for?” He asked, eyes focussed on you. He wanted to see everything, piece together every unconscious movement that would give away a deeper meaning. “For being a bit absent. I just… had a lot of work.” Lie. That was a lie. Spencer could see it. The way you averted your eyes, how your hand stilled in the twisting of the ring, your breathing hitched up as you said the last part of your sentence. Everything pointed to it being a lie. He hated that he could see that.
You felt the need to lie to him. To temper his feelings by trying to explain away what had really happened. There were tens of thousands of thoughts swimming through his mind about what could have happened. Did you meet someone else? Or realize he wasn’t your type. The differences being too big to make it work. “Could you tell me the truth?” He didn’t mean for that to come out. Especially when he saw the surprise in your eyes. “I am. I was busy, I had a lot of evidence to sort through, drugs, nail scrapings. I also had the reports to write and- and-” You were trying to convince yourself that it was the truth. That hurt. Apparently you didn’t want him to know the real reason. “Y/N. I am a behavioral analyst, I can tell when you lie. Please just… don’t? I want to know what happened, I thought we had a good time at the museum. I just, did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to, and I can’t change it if you don’t tell me.” He was pleading now. Eyes on you as you looked for an answer, lips slightly parted as you breathed out. Taking a step closer, reaching out his hand to yours. Just to hold it in his, feel you, decide if this was either a bad nightmare or a terrible reality. 
When Spencer felt your hand in his he closed his eyes for a moment. This was real. He opened his eyes again, the only focus was on yours. Waiting. Watching to see your response. “Spencer, it wasn’t anything you did. Trust me. You did nothing wrong, it was perfect, and I wish I could have stayed in that museum forever.” You spoke, not averting your gaze, looking him in the eye with full confidence. Not even a tremor in your voice. That was the truth.
“Then what happened? I don’t like that you’re ignoring me. It feels like just the entire pit of my stomach gave out. Did I move too fast? I’m not good with these things. But I really, really, like you. You do all these things to me. Just… I can’t take the silent treatment. Not from you.” There it was with a sigh. His feelings, out in the open. Hoping it was enough for you to tell him what happened. Instead, you looked sorrowful, eyes almost glossy with what he realized were tears. “I really am sorry. I need time for something. I can’t talk about it now, I don’t want to pull you down with me. I will tell you afterwards, okay?” Your voice did nothing to soothe the pain of rejection he felt. Even though he so wished to believe you. You were hurt too and he didn’t understand why. Because you were the one pushing him away.
Spencer nodded his head dejectedly, a soft sniffle leaving him as he tried to not let the emotions overwhelm him. All the anxiety had left and was replaced by the cold, empty feeling of rejection. His nerve endings were no longer on edge, instead they were rather numb. “I’ll eh… I will go. Leave you to whatever you need to do.” His voice didn’t really sound like his own to him. Like he was running on autopilot and it was a preprogrammed recording. He let go of your hand, taking a deep breath, before he walked to the door. His hand was on the door knob when you called his name, when he looked over his shoulder at you you looked just as dejected. Your lips parted, like you wanted to say something, closing again, opening again. He could see you looking for the right words, but there were none. His lips formed an awkward, tight smile and he nodded. “Text me when you want to talk.” He said before leaving the room.
Closing the door with a hollow sound he took just a few steps before Penelope approached him. “What happened? Are you okay?” her voice concerned and laced with just a little pity. He didn’t need pity right now. He didn’t want to be around anyone. “Could you tell Hotch I need a personal day?” His question got a frantic nod in return. Clearly she understood it wasn’t something good that happened just now. “Yeah, yeah of course. Need anything else?” She answered, trying to be the good friend he always knew she was. He shook his head no, “I just need time.” He spoke softly before walking over to his desk. There was no comment from Derek, just a slight sympathetic look. He hated that.
Grabbing his bag and his jacket he quickly made himself ready to leave. JJ tried to stop him, files in hand ready to ask a question when he ducked his head and continued on. Not willing to talk right now he stepped on the elevator and pressed to go down. Walking out the door and straight to his car in the garage. When he finally reached his car and sat down it all hit him. His stomach felt heavy yet empty, but also like it was twisted in knots. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm down a little, tears threatening to spill behind his eyes. Blinking rapidly to push them back. There was no need for tears. You went on one date, he shouldn’t be this attached, yet he is. From the moment he had entered your lab he had been awestruck. Then, in the following week, he had started rambling and feared he had messed up by doing so. Yet you just smiled, asked more questions, let him ramble and rant about everything and anything. Content to hear him speak. He didn’t feel like an annoyance.
Spencer sighed, putting his key in the ignition and turning it, the song that came on was still on the same radio station that you had put it on, depeche mode sounding through the speakers. Quickly, his hand reached out, changing the station to anything else. Not wanting to be reminded of you immediately. He pulled out of the parking lot, driving home, a welcome distraction from his thoughts. When he got home though, he felt completely drained. Placing his bag near the front door, dropping the jacket over it. Toeing off his shoes before walking further into the apartment. He sat down on the couch. Once again alone with his thoughts. He leaned his head back, resting it against the top of the couch as he closed his eyes again. Rubbing his eyes with another sigh.
He wondered what it could be. What the reason for your coldness was. The fact that you seemed reluctant about it just made it weirder. He cursed himself for being able to read your expressions, your movements, to deduct anything from your behavior. He wished he didn’t know because it would have made it so much easier to be angry with you. To feel betrayed, led on, or even used. Instead he knew that you were just as torn up about what happened as he was. It made it feel even worse. He knew there was a reason, but the fact you were not willing to tell him hit the wrong nerve. Eyes opened on the ceiling, the faded green color perfect to get lost in. He didn’t know how long he stayed like that. Head tilted back, looking at the ceiling as his mind was both working over time and thinking of nothing. A weird combination of feeling too full yet completely empty. Watching the shadows stretch further and further, slowly fading until there were no longer any shadows cast on his ceiling. It was just dark. 
That’s what it was like. The night taking over the sunny feeling he had felt. An end coming to the light he had felt for the past two weeks. The nocturnal cold setting into his body. How he hated the realization that dawned on him that moment. He didn’t just like you. He had fallen all at once, during that first meeting, without realizing. Now it was too late to tell you. He doubted you even felt the same. So now he was left to suffer the heartbreak on his own. To deal with the conflicting emotions you left him with. 
At least the night was quiet enough for him to think.
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teyums · 2 years ago
Text
His Secret Admirer (Part Three) - Neteyam x fem na’vi reader
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part one | part two | part four | bonus chapter
wc: 4.3k
a/n: here is the well awaited pt 3, I didn’t know it could get more angst-y than it already has but boy I was wrong. the next part will be the final part to the series, prepare for sh!t to go down y’allll 😗
contains: soft + angsty neteyam, lots of emotions so buckle up fr, some language (not much at all), familial conflict
“~~” resembles a time skip or a POV change
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Neteyam rarely got angry. But after witnessing Eyiti purposely say what she did to hurt your feelings, he felt anger bubble deep in the pit of his stomach. He so badly wanted to chase after you as he watched you walk away, but he couldn’t risk having her run to tell her parents that the olo’eyktan’s son had disrespected her. This was what he faced on the daily, people holding his future over his head with no regard of how high he had to jump just to get it back. He was trying his hardest to keep his parents in a good mood, so when he would tell them about you they would be less inclined to deny his pleas and actually hear him out. If he went after you, it would squash all of his hopes of ever being yours. He whipped his head around to face the unapologetic girl in front of him, not being able to conceal his repugnance.
“Why did you do that?” He spoke through gritted teeth, jerking his arm away to remove her grimy mitt from his skin. “I did not promise you anything. My parents do not speak for me.” He brushed his arm, trying to expunge the feeling of her touch.
“Oh, but I think they do ‘Teyam.” She cooed with a pout that was far from genuine to shield the smug that lied behind her lips. “They said you’d talk to my parents, so that’s what you’re going to do. Unless, you want me to go and tell my father about your little girlfriend. And now that I think about it, I don’t even think I heard your parents mention her. Is that allowed?” She already knew the answer, her question was only a threat.
Everything began to add up in his mind. Why her behavior would change so suddenly- trying her hardest to gain his attention conveniently at the time you would come around. He had never once felt the urge to injure a woman, and he still didn’t, but he was definitely tempted to tag Kiri in on this conversation and support whatever method of action she chose to take.
He wished he could have told you in that moment that being her date was never his idea. But he was just as stunned, it hadn’t even been brought up to him before Eyiti revealed the information in front of the two of you. There his parents went again, making decisions for him knowing he would have no choice but to follow through. His heart felt like it had been stomped on, even more so at the thought of how badly you were hurting right now. He had no intention of leading you on, and you probably hated him for doing just that, even if it were accidental. In fact, he planned on agreeing to the Ikran ride, taking the two of you somewhere you wouldn’t be disturbed and asking you to be his date to the festival. But everything went to shit, like usual.
He exhaled sharply, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying anything that would have this brat running to make his life more of a living hell than it was already becoming. He dodged Eyiti’s attempt at grabbing his hand to lead him along, shooting her a piercing glare. If looks could kill, the village would be planning her funeral right about now. “I can walk just fine on my own. And stop calling me that.”
He entered her family’s home with as much respect as he could muster, grudgingly taking a seat once realizing his parents had already arrived. There was nothing he could do to stall this any longer. He kept his stare avoidant, anything to distract him from the conversation at hand. There was a drastic amount of space between him and Eyiti on the mat, which Jake had not failed to realize. The voices around him sounded like they were underwater as he tuned them out. He toyed with the intricate details on his armband while they spoke, all he could think about was how this was the last place he wanted to be. His mind was anywhere else but here. The image of you talking with Ta’olu reappeared in his mind like clockwork, regardless of how many times he tried to erase it.
“Neteyam?” Neytiri’s voice repeated for the third time, sending him a warning glance once noticing he was out of it before she proceeded. “Do you agree with the date chosen for your ceremony?”
No, absolutely not. He didn’t agree with the date chosen, he didn’t even agree with the woman chosen.
Eyiti never paid him mind years ago until the day she found out what he would grow up to be. She looked at him like a piece of meat and he knew it. Not that he ever craved her attention; when she would speak he would simply imagine she was someone else. You were the only girl in the clan who saw him for who he truly was. Just a man wanting to fall in love like everybody else. Was that so bad?
Neteyam abruptly rose up from where he sat and cleared his throat, effectively cutting the conversation short with an unexpected answer. “I am sorry, I refuse to mate with Eyiti. I will only accompany her to the festival, as that has been promised by my parents. But no one other than me will have a say in who will have my heart.”
The mouths of everyone in the room fell to the floor but Neteyam stood strong on his declaration, excusing himself from the conversation and walking out of the tent- leaving Eyiti as stunned and embarrassed as she had made you feel earlier. Jake and Neytiri immediately rose to go after him, apologizing for his change of behavior as much as they could while her parents consoled their daughter who was now sobbing dramatically.
He didn’t want to accompany her to the festival at all, but declining her as a mate, and forcing his parents to meet someone new all in one day was probably not the best idea. His plan was to show up with Eyiti, then ditch her in roughly ten minutes after her parents saw them together, slip out unnoticed and find you. He’d have to get Tuk in on the plan to serve as a distraction, which shouldn’t be too difficult for him. Neteyam was a stickler for being a gentleman, but he couldn’t care less about that witch’s feelings.
His legs were sent into a slight run-walk as Jake forced him into their family home by the back of his neck. He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair before turning around to face his father who was nearly red in the face, already knowing what was next to come.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how much you’ve embarrassed us? Our entire family? In front of the parents of the woman who is supposed to be your mate?” He yelled a string of questions, his finger pointed out of their tent to clarify exactly what he was referring to. His eldest son stood unamused. Silent and withdrawn. His physical body was here, but his mental was somewhere unknown. His head was turned to the side, his face not even so much as flinching at his father’s words. He simply laughed to himself, dropping his head towards the floor and mumbling incomprehensible sentences to himself.
“And what are you laughing at? Which part of this is funny to you?” Neytiri chimed in, looking at him with such disbelief it would have hurt his feelings, had he found the will to care. There was no more approval he strived to seek from his parents.
“Answer your mother when she’s speaking to you, boy.” Jake growled, Neteyam’s ears perking up.
“I am not a boy.” His eyes shot up, challenging his father with zero hesitation in his tone. Neteyam had it to his wits end with his parents trying to control every aspect of his life. Elder or not, he was no longer going to let them have a say in who he chose to love or how he chose to live his life. “You heard what I said.” His accent was apparent.  “I will not mate with that woman. And I will not apologize for loving another, my heart belongs to [Y/n].” He stated strongly, lifting his chin to indicate confidence in his decision.
Neytiri blinked in astonishment, her voice sputtering while she tried to find a way to continue the conversation with words instead of knocking him over his head. “And what makes you think we will allow you to mate with someone we do not know? Someone we have not deemed fit for you? This girl will be Tsahik, Neteyam!” She hissed.
This. This was the issue. His parents were so concerned about status in the clan that they let it overshadow their own son’s right to happiness.
“I have tried so many times to tell you! She is special, I swear it. You guys won’t listen to me.” He extended his hands to the pair in a pleading motion, his voice growing louder with each word he spoke and a slight crack in his pitch giving away how much this was all starting to affect him. “Dad wasn’t even one of the people when the two of you mated, it went against everything the clan knows. You cannot judge me. And I couldn’t care less about this stupid title. You can give it to Lo’ak, for all I care.” He spat, leaving them right where they stood and storming out of their home.
He was right, whether they wanted to admit it or not. Jake wasn’t a real na’vi when he first arrived, he was an avatar driver with an aborted mission. Neytiri was promised to another, but went against her parents and mated with him anyway. They both went against the rules because their love for each other was so strong, just as he was now. How could his own parents blame him for wanting to find true love just as they did?
“Neteyam!” Neytiri gasped, both her hands coming up to cover her mouth and tears forming in her eyes.
Jake immediately turned to comfort her, pulling her into a firm hug and rubbing her back. “He doesn’t mean that, I know he doesn’t. He’s just upset, I’ll talk to him.” He held her as she cried into his chest, wanting to go after Neteyam but knowing he couldn’t leave his wife alone after what had transpired.
By the time Jake had soothed Neytiri and ran out after his son, he had already set out into the air on his Ikran without another word spoken.
Neteyam soared through the purple-tinted sky aimlessly, allowing the bond with the animal to reach deep into his heart and figure out where to take him. He winced at the thought of how he had addressed his mother, the look on her face after what he said. He was fed up and couldn’t stand to argue any longer, his voice was not being heard no matter how loud he spoke and it had pushed him well over the edge. By the time he realized what he was saying, it was too late to take it back and the damage had already been done. He felt the innate urge to turn around, to run to his mother and apologize. But he was tired of doing the right thing all the time. For once in his life he just wanted to be able to make a mistake like everybody else could without it seeming like the end of the world.
His father’s voice calling his name could be heard through the speaker connected to the neckpiece they all wore for communication. He curled his lips in annoyance, hooked two fingers under the band and snapped it off his neck with ease. He pitched it into the air without another thought, letting it fall to the ground below him. He had no idea where it landed and he couldn’t care less. He didn’t want to be bothered anymore.
He allowed the wind to flow through his braids, the cold, crisp air hitting his cheek and helping in keeping him grounded. After what felt like a short journey, his Ikran slowed and prepared to land in the open field by the Tree of Voices- a place for prayers to be heard. He eyed the giant willow tree, ignoring the heavy weight in his chest. He dismounted from the bird, gently pulling his braid to break tsaheylu and smoothing a hand up its rough back, followed by a tender pat to calm its spirit. He hadn’t been here since his parents brought him to visit the ancestors, when he was younger. There had been nothing he wanted enough to call upon Eywa for, and his duties rendered him far more busy than he had expected, which left almost no time for a casual visit.
He trailed a hand along the delicate, elongated tendrils of the tree as he walked- taking a brief looking around to make sure he was alone before he slowly lowered himself to the ground. He reached over his shoulder to pull the long braid from behind his back, taking hold of one of the tree’s branches in his other hand. He watched closely as his queue reached for the branch, wrapping itself around and making the connection that would allow Eywa to hear his pleas. He could feel the intense spiritual energy coarse through his veins, allowing him to let his guard down.
His head lowered and his eyes came to a close. He had so much to say but didn’t know how to phrase it, didn’t know how to start. Neteyam was not familiar in asking for things, let alone help. He was always made to do everything himself, made to figure it out on his own like a true leader. Every moment in his life boiled down to preparation for what was yet to come, so much that he didn’t even know how to handle the emotions that would arise in the present. He was constantly running, motivation carrying him forward. But now he questioned the purpose of the race entirely. Had he ever stopped to ask himself if this was what he wanted?
“Eywa, I have come to you to ask for help, if you’ll have me.” He started, his voice merely a whisper as he continued. “I don’t know what to do.”
Going against his parents was ultimately going against everything he knew. It felt wrong. Forbidden. But giving up on his feelings for you felt even worse. At this point he didn’t care what would happen, he’d bare with having his potential title stripped from him if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with you by his side.
His eyes shut tightly in attempt to stop the tears he dreaded welcoming. His throat burned and a lump began to form that felt nearly impossible to swallow. He didn’t want to cry, not after he had tried so hard not to. He hadn’t in years, and he knew if he allowed himself to break down in this moment it would only lead to bringing up every other emotion he had succeeded in bottling up for so long.
Neteyam’s shoulders began to shudder and he shook his head in resistance at the shiver that struck through his body, but ultimately failed at putting up a fight. A sob finally erupted from his trembling lips and he brought his free hand up to shield his face, as if he were afraid someone would see him in such a vulnerable state. He sat in the bioluminescent flora around him, simply allowing himself to cry, something he hadn’t been able to do in years. The pressure of being the perfect son had finally gotten to him. He was aware from time that it was slowly creeping up, taking an immense toll on his mental health and he tried his best to outrun it. A slight miscalculation on his end, you can never outrun the inevitable. He had never expected it to break him down in such a way, his body physically feeling weak and hopeless. He was completely conflicted, knowing it was always best to follow his heart but it went against his coding to disappoint his parents.
He felt the presence of Eywa and his ancestors calm him, the pace of his breathing gradually returned to normal and the beating of his heart followed soon after. He wiped his face dry with the backside of his hand, regaining his composure while gathering the will to carry on with his prayer. “I have never asked anything of you until now, because nothing has ever meant more to me than this. Until I met her, I hadn’t known the true meaning of happiness, what it felt like to be alive. And now, we’ve found our way back into each other’s lives and I cannot let her go. Not again.” He felt an ache deep in his chest, fearful that even saying these words out loud would turn them into reality.
“I fear that I have disappointed my parents greatly. I said some things I am not proud of, and I am not sure if I can take back the damage they have caused.” He sighed, his eyes opening and his head raising to peer at the sky above him. “I know she is special. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it, deep in my bones.” With his hand placed over his chest, it balled into a fist against his skin and he begged with everything he had left in him.
“Please, allow them to see her the way I do.”
~~~
Had it not been for your mother that day, you don’t know what you would’ve done. The walk back to your tent was unforgiving as you tried to hide the tears that were forming once more, not out of sorrow, but of pure disgust. The speed in which you declined Ta’olu’s invitation was utterly comical. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t consider it for a second, but all the faith you had in his proposal died as soon as you found out he was only inviting you to make the same girl he ditched you for in the past, jealous. You wished you hadn’t even stopped to give him the time of day because the whole encounter only made you feel worse.
You pushed through the fabric that served as a doorway to your home and crossed the distance that separated you from your mother, sinking to your knees and tears flowing from your eyes when she wrapped her arms around you without question. “I’m too late, Mama.” You hiccuped. Your tears felt like acid on your cheeks and it hurt to even speak. You hated crying, especially over something like this. The entire process of being upset, realizing your emotions, then having to find an outlet to rid them- revolted you.
“What happened?” Your mother looked down at you, her eyebrows furrowed with concern and a hint of apprehension. Her head moved to the side with an understanding sigh when your crying picked up at the nature of her question, resting her cheek against the top of your head and stroking your hair. She quietly shushed you, rubbing your back to aid in comfort. Your fervent emotions shrouded your will to elaborate.
You sniffled, inhaling a pathetically shaky breath and forcing your voice to come together and make words after a bit. “I’m too late. He’s found someone else.” Saying it out loud to her made it all the more real. You couldn’t stop your heart from clenching when you admitted the truth to her. In all your years of loving him, your mother had never had you come to her with anything he had done that wasn’t positive.
She slowly pulled away from your embrace, but only to look into your eyes as you spoke. She needed to make sure for herself that she was hearing this correctly. “No… How? The two of you were just together only two days ago.” She sounded as dumbfounded as you felt.
“Eyiti,” You shook your head, wiping the tears that had fallen without your permission off your face with the heel of your hand, annoyed at the fact that more appeared no matter how hard you tried to settle yourself. “She’s his date to the festival tomorrow. He’s probably talking to her parents about it right now.” Your voice got quieter, your shoulders slumping down as you sulked and studied the palms of your hands- staring at the lines etched into your skin as a getaway from your feelings.
Your eyes shot up when you heard your mother breath out a sigh, it almost sounded like she was *relieved*. She quickly geared up to explain once the expression on your face became one of slight betrayal and confusion.
She shook her head and laughed quietly, “There is still time, [Y/n]. Her being his date does not mean they are promised to one another. But it very well could, if you do not take your chance tomorrow.” She used her thumbs to clean the tears that had rolled down the side of your face, cupping it in her hands afterwards. “Did you bring what is needed?” Her eyes were soft and seeing her calm expression somehow helped you in doing the same.
“Yes, I…” You blinked to clear your vision, opening your mouth to speak but settling for a nod of your head. The small bag was brought around to your front, holding it open so she could see inside.
A grin from her was all that was required to strike you with the ambition you didn’t know you had left.
Your fingers were sore to the touch and swollen after hours of carving the marbles and stones you had found into small beads. The process was intricate and painstaking. It required delicate hands and utmost patience. Had you tried to speed up the process you were at risk of cracking the material directly in half, rendering it useless. And after doing just that almost three times while trying to rush through, you had absolutely no more room for error.
You used a thin twine to weave the beads together, crocheting intricate rows of stitches between the material to hold it together, making a clasp that would be easy for him to take on and off on his own. Your mom had taught you how to make jewelry and garments years ago, you eventually surpassed her in skill. You hadn’t the desire or need to make something for a while, but the talent you possessed remained. You constructed his gift with unbelievable precision, your eyes strained from barely taking time to blink. But you were still incredibly nervous that it wouldn’t be to his liking.
Unknown to you, Neteyam loved everything you did, even if it was as simple as breathing.
You couldn’t thank your mom enough for helping you with this. She had given you a deadpan look the tenth time you expressed gratitude, so you figured ten was a good number to settle on. You felt silly even asking, so you were more than appreciative that she had offered. At first, it was hard for you to understand why she had been so supportive. Then she explained to you that when she were head over heels for your father, she had no one to lean on but herself, not even her own mother. She was more than willing to help her daughter win over the one she loved, because all she wanted was to see you happy.
Eclipse had long passed, the sun tucking itself away after a job well done and the moon announcing its arrival with how the night now encapsulated the village. The necklace was finally complete. One could tell how much effort went into it just by looking at it, it was beautiful. The beads were varying shades of brown, orange, and red- Neteyam’s favorite colors to wear. You honestly had no idea why you decided on still making it, without even knowing how this whole thing would play out at that. There was a small part of you that feared it would go to waste after what you witnessed earlier, but there was an even bigger part of you that since rediscovered the hope you previously lost.
How dark it had become outside skated past you without notice until you finally looked up from the spot your eyes were locked on since this afternoon. The both of you had even skipped dinner just to make sure you finished in time for tomorrow.
“How are you even still sitting like this?” You collapsed backwards with a exhale of great fatigue, your eyes fluttering closed against your will and your back crying out in relief. You knew hunching over in the same exact spot would hurt, but you had no idea you’d come out of it feeling a hundred years older than you already were. “Do you think he will like it?” You mumbled, sleepiness hurriedly overtaking you.
By the time your mother turned to respond, an array of faint snores could be heard. Had you not been so exhausted, you would’ve awoken at the sound of her laughing due to your mouth hanging open obnoxiously. She smiled at you with nothing but endearment, gingerly lifting your head to slip a cushion under it and draping a light blanket over your body that was now curled into a fetal position- a mindless endeavor to seek warmth. She leaned down to kiss your temple, pushing a few braids from your face so they wouldn’t disrupt you. “He will love it.” She whispered.
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a/n: y’all knew i wasn’t gonna make her accept Ta’olu’s invitation that’s toooo cliche for my liking 😭 also you literally have the best mom she’s so sweet
This chapter was so emotional to write omg! but can we talk ab the fact that Neteyam finally stood up to his parents about you, need a him in my life fr 💔
Please like + reblog if you can, it’s much appreciated! 💞
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theyluvlyss · 4 months ago
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Hey!! you mentioned you wanted to write for tbp a while back, idk if ur still down but if so could I please get some robin hcs??
♡♡
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𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧...
...I figured I'd use this as an opportunity to expand on all of the black phone boys, plus gwen, because... because I fucking can lmfao. so yeah, along with robin, I'll add finney, gwen, bruce, billy, vance, and griffin, if that's okay :)🖤.
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𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥/𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬
《 ♡ 》 headcannons
───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :
lyssa's personal rendition of the ghost boys + gwen (except the difference is that I'm 100% totally right and everyone else is wrong, so ya😙🖤✨️) ((I'm kidding, plz don't attack me)). also, prepare, because this is probably going to be sooo long lmao...
𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :
none
𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :
1978 (plus some time afterward) - "if they lived" hdcns
𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :
cursing - mentions of death/abuse/brutality - me getting passionate (hence why this is so long) - spoilers (if you somehow haven't seen the movie by this point💀) - autism/adhd related topics - highly encourage shifters to use whatever I've written here as black phone shift-inspo because I know the movie doesn't give us a lot to go on for the boys personality-wise (also, tag me in your drs, guys, I'm so nosy😆♡)
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────
𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 :
I gotta get this off my chest before I forget and go insane, but oh my god, Finney is NOT the crybaby some of y'all make him out to be😹. That boy cried once in the entire one hour and forty-three minute runtime of the whole movie, okay? And it was when he was at his VERY LOWEST point during said movie/events, okay? Okay.
Y'all are fr gonna have to drop that narrative, because if it really came down to it, boy could talk mad shit and spread rumors like wildfire. All it takes is one little whisper to Bruce😆🤭...
Now that that's settled...
I feel like he's very non-confrontational as a person, though, fs. Like, if he's put in a position where his well-being/life is/may be on the line (😃...), then yeah, he'll do his best to stick up for himself. But otherwise, his main, favorite, and works-90%-of-the-time tactic is to just avoid conflict and places where it might occur altogether.
Also, I definitely think he's autistic. Like, no way he's not. Hyperfix? Space, obviously. Especially rockets, and then the science behind space/the things in space. I don't see him as a fan of loud noises, either (especially when we consider his upbringing). He also seems to not have the best handle on social cues/is awkward (but I guess that can also be perceived as a neurotypical trait, too, so idk). I also feel like he's defo a stickler for texture. Won't eat certain foods or wear certain fabrics,,, needs things to be a specific type of feeling/way for him to operate as usual, you feel me?
Having complete (emotional?) shutdowns when he's not in a positive mood and/or environment, only really having a logical way of thinking until the tasks/emotions run a bit too high and then he breaks down... I could go on, this really all seems like solid evidence to me, ngl🤷🏽‍♀️.
Bro just like me fr. Anyways.
I also think he's a huge fan of routine, especially simple ones that he can remember. Or, if/when a task is somehow connected to an object/person/other task? Yeah, his brain loves that.
He's a Cancer (birthday - July 10th), but I definitely think he's got Capricorn in his chart somewhere, too.
I might've brought this up before in another post, but I definitely think Finney would take/find interest in astrology. Maybe not actually believe in it or take it as seriously as the next person, but he'd definitely respects it because, while he's more of an astronomy guy, focusing on the logical aspects of space and stars and shit, astrology delves into a more spiritual and belief-based aspect, and he likes the thought of the stars that he loves having meanings and things that correspond to, not only your life, but to who you may be as a person.
Kind of like a little bit of insight, a look-see, on who someone is. So, with that, he definitely knows his own star sign and is happy to answer when asked.
"Oh, I'm a Cancer :). What are you?" And would probably find himself either asking or doing research on his own time on your/a person's answer to his rebound question.
A raging bisexual if I've ever seen one (I am one so I would know🫶🏽) (I give him the certified stamp of bi-ness, dw guys, I gave him proper clearance🫶🏽). Tell me he wasn't looking at Donna and Robin the same way. Actually, don't tell me, because if you say anything other than, "You're so right, Lyss😻‼️" I'm blocking you♡.
But in all seriousness, I feel like Finney himself didn't realize he felt the same feelings that he does for Donna for Robin until after he got with Donna (like,,, bro didn't clock it was the same feeling, nor that he even swung that way at all, until after the fact,,, does that make sense?). Sometimes, you just have those moments of clarity about yourself later on, I was kind of the same way.
Anyways, cat person to the third degree max. Only likes small dogs, and anything bigger than like,,, those little, fluffy ass dogs, he starts tweakin' real bad🥴💀. I don't blame him fr, though. Dogs are loud "BARK BARK🗣‼️" all in yo face, lick-lick, hyperactive, unpredictable... I could not deal, and neither could he.
I'm not saying cats are any more predictable or that they don't have their own cons, but hey, everyone has their preferences, and he just prefers cats🤷🏽‍♀️.
LOVEEESSS sugary/sweet tasting stuff. The type to always be craving a little sweet treat after dinner (genuinely, he does eat all the ice cream, he really tries to hold back for Gwen, but,,,😔✋🏽), or throughout the day, all he'll be thinking about is a crisp, cold soda.
😃💀His teeth are gonna be wrecked by the time he's thirty-five lol anyways...
He also loves a good crafting session. Could honestly spend hours in his room cutting up paper and pictures, building model rockets, making paper dolls for Gwen. He just really likes stuff he can sit, hunker down, and really focus on. Likes having his attention drawn, so things like crafting, watching TV, scrapbooking, etc. is really good/fun for him. Billy is DEFINITELY his picture plug, btw.
No way Finney isn't itching by the door for Billy to come by so he can be updated on the latest things added in the paper. Or, if his dad gets to it first, he's reminding him not to throw it out until he gets back home from school so he can still sort through it for what he wants.
Speaking of Gwen, I do fully believe that Finney was the one braiding her hair every morning before school. Not doubting their father's girl-dad skills or anything✋🏽😃✋🏽,,, but that man was barely coherent enough to not slur his words in every sentence, and you expect me to believe he was worried about making that girl's head look pretty for school? Girl, anyways💀✋🏽.
She probably asked him one day and he was like, "Gwenny, it's school, not a fashion show😐🍺."
For sure, it was her mom doing it every other day. So yeah, when she passed, Finney figured he wouldn't let tradition die along with her. He learned and would braid/style her hair for school however she wanted.
Umm, I think that's all I got, other than... like,,,
RIP Finney Blake, you would've gone feral watching The Sandlot😔🙏🏽.
───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────
𝐆𝐰𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 :
She reminds me so, SO much of my little sister, so a lot of this might be me projecting her (my lil sis) onto Gwen🤭💀.
A little brat, but in the best/silliest way. Like yeah, she'll tease you and talk all that shit and lowkey kinda bully you, but bro, it's all love fr🫶🏽😙. If anything, if she's being extra polite and courteous to you, it's probably because you're someone she just met, or because she really dislikes you and is hoping that you'll catch onto her fakeness so she can exit stage left of the conversation lmao.
Another raging bi-in-training lollll. I'm sorry, but she's totally one of the girlies who never got a ken/boy doll so she had to "improvise" and "pretend" one of her girl dolls was a boy💀✋🏽. Like, girl, anyways, you know seeing Cher live on TV for the first time had you rethinking your entire life, don't deny it lmfao🤭🩷💜💙.
She has a very particular sense of style, like,,, has certain statement pieces and outfits she likes to mix and match, and only she really gets it, but it fits/suits her. Plus, some of it is from her mom, so ofc she has to rep it fr✊🏽.
Once broke a girl's shin (as in, yes, Gwen kicked it that fucking hard), because another girl had said the pair of earrings she wore that day were ugly. Now, to be fair, the girl couldn't have known they were Gwen's dead mother's earrings, but bitch, didn't anybody tell you if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say shit at all🤨? Exactly. Mind your manners or get your shin kicked in😙♡.
Speaking of, contrary to the movie (yup, I go against canon, idc, sue me), I feel like she is NOT a fair/honorable fighter at all (or a trained one, for that matter). Especially if you're hurting someone she loves (so Finney, obvs). She's biting, pulling hair, grabbing anything she can use as a weapon, outnumbering you if she can somehow recruit ppl; she gives no fucks.
And you can't talk her out of it, either. She's dead set on two facts; 1. If you attack me, I assume my life is at stake, and I'm fighting you as such. If you wanna call that unfair, idk, maybe you shouldn't have thrown hands with me🤷🏻‍♀️. 2. I don't start shit, I finish it. I won't throw the first punch, but if you do, anything I do to you afterward is self-defense🤷🏻‍♀️.
Robin and Vance have tried to teach her otherwise - y'know... give her the ol' dignity and honor speech - but sheeee...
She wasn't listenin' to that shit bro bffr💀✋🏽.
And while yes, she didn't take that piece of advice from him the one time, anything else that leaves Vance's mouth might as well be damn near close to Jesus speaking directly to her😭. She's practically got a crush on Vance, and it's so obnoxious, it's not even funny.
The girl will go off with her little girl friends and basically stalk him (guys, let's not act like teenage girls aren't literally insane😻💀) and often, she enjoys his fights and is finding literally any and every way to just even have a conversation with him. Vance,,, has not caught on at all, but it's probably for the best💀✋🏽.
He sees her as another one of his sisters, at most. Annoying, yet charming in her own way, and is always sure to give her some half-assed advice; "I don't wanna see your ass outside when the street lights come on, got it?" "Yup🫡😻!!" And occasionally gives her a fight-related tip.
Same thing with Robin, but to a much lesser degree. It's more like a fond admiration, like, that's basically a second older brother. Has and will continue to scarf down any food he brings over, even if it wasn't even for her. And if he gets pressed, she'll just-
"It's me appreciating it 'cause your stuff is good😃😇...!" "😐🧍🏽" And then she's running off to avoid any scoldings.
I feel like Gwen is a very ambitious person. Doesn't take no shit, which can make her stubborn at times, but at the end of the day, she always finds what she's looking for and/or gets the answers she needs. Ambitious and persistent.
Definitely a go-getter type, which was why she even took the time to read up more on her little ability, what it means, etcetc. Miss girl wanted answers, she was going to find 'em🤷🏽‍♀️.
I have no clue when her birthday is (if someone knows it, TELL ME👹), but for now, I hdcn she's either a Taurus, Leo, Gemini, Cancer or Virgo (some of those also being in her chart as well, if that makes sense).
She is so totally, undeniably, and authentically 🎀🩷✨️girl✨️🩷🎀 like,,, idk how to explain. Like, yeah, she's rough around the edges, and her mouth is trash, and her attitude is up the wall, but oHMYGOD, SHE'S THE GIRLIEST GIRL through it all, somehow. It's so sweet and cute.
The type to spend time dressing up her dolls and making sure her dollhouse is in PERFECT shape after just rolling around in the mud. Has Finney braid up her hair in all these intricate, detailed ways just to get her comb stuck in them in matted knots a minute later. Only uses purple, pink, and yellow pens for her school work/notes, but she inherited her dad's shitty handwriting, so yeah, you can barely read that shit...but it looks pretty as hell, don't it😌? Does her nails allll of the time, but will immediately do other things right after, barely letting them dry, which leads to them smudging and looking a little messy.
Things like that just make her who she is. They make her ✨️Gwen✨️, y'know?
Also, her favorite color is yellow. Random, but idc, it makes perfect sense.
RIP Gwen Blake, you would've loved White Chicks😔🙏🏽.
───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────
𝐑𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐨 :
- before his death -
He's an Aquarius (birthday - February 2nd, which is literally two days before mine🤭💜🧡), but he's definitely got Libra and/or Leo somewhere in his chart, for sure.
I feel like he's the type to think/say none of that "astrology shit" matters, but then know his whole entire chart, top to bottom, and only wants to know/cares about the charts of people close to him. And I bet you he only did it because Finney brought it up once, and he wanted to know what the hell he was talking about💀.
While on the topic of Finney, tho, he probably had eyes on Finn since day one. Wanted to befriend him since the sandbox days, but didn't really have an excuse until he found out he was being bullied. Thought maybe one day Finn would fight back, but he never did, soooo😗...
Robin got to step in😈. And then all it took was landing on a common interest, and 💥BOOM💥. 4lyfers🤞🏽.
I feel like Robin also feels his feelings pretty deeply, more so than people realize, but again, he's definitely not finna let you know that. The type to cry it out/cuss people out quietly under his breath/vent to himself when he's absolutely sure he's alone, and then act like he never did it at all. And shit, he's good at hiding it. You'd probably never even know unless you were close with him or he flat out told you.
He's kind of a show-off, if anything😭. Just a little bit, nothing crazy, but he does get a kick out of "proving a point" beating the breaks off of someone "for the crowd". Or just anything he's skilled at; he might not actively seek the attention, but god, he hopes someone is watching, 'causeeeeee😗😙.
He was definitely taught to fight from his father, but continued to go to boxing classes after he went off to war and never came home. Robin would go wherever he could find them/they were offered (bonus points if they're free), spending a lot of time brushing up on technique, form, whatever. Even takes the time to actually read up on more, study it; does better with visual stuff, though, like pictures or videos or someone showing/guiding him, things like that.
That round-kick ain't just pure talent, y'know😌 (he'd definitely argue otherwise, tho).
He has a whole bandana collection that he's super proud of and kind of just started, but that green one is signature. Something his father left behind, and, like Gwen,,, my man's gotta rep it, you feel me😌✊🏽. Literally ONLY let's his mom touch it, and that's only to wash it. Off limits to every and anybody else, even his own uncle, and everyone knows it, too. The other bandanas are free game, though.
Robin was often given cooking lessons from his mom, and he found he likes to bake, too, but can't bake for shit. It always comes out completely burnt or not at all like he was expecting (it makes him so sad, too😭 like, bro just wants to make his own tres leches instead of having to wait for special occasions,,, is that too much to ask😫?).
A horror movie nut from day one. Definitely something that startled/disturbed his mother for a little while, but she got over it💀✋🏽.
He's not in it for the scares or anything, but for the production (although he loves and cherishes the semi-rare times where he actually jumps). He's actively studying the movies, what makes them good vs. bad, the actors, the lighting, the music, atmosphere, dialog, everything. Even watched the really cheesy, awful, bad ones. He's thought about hashing out some faint ideas he's had, maybe in script format, but really just didn't have the skill for that just yet. So, he stuck to just observing for the time being.
His favorite trope is "everybody dies". Doesn't mind a good "final girl/boy" or a "beat the shit out of the bad guy/murderer/ghost" ending, either.
...Robin realized/knew he couldn't fight The Grabber, but was super salty/petty about it. Would scratch and bite at him like a damn dog, kicked at him, made it really difficult for The Grabber to literally exist in that basement with him (which was why his death was quick, you alr know The Grabber was 'bout sick of his ass lmfao). Fought like hell until the end and thought about his dad the wholeee time.
Very- .... SUPER annoyed when he woke back up in the basement,,, livid when he saw The Grabber walk in with Finney...
- if he had lived -
I wouldn't put a label on Robin, and neither would he himself, to be honest. Like, even "unlabeled" is a label to him. He truly has the "If they're hot, they're hot🤷🏽" mindset and pretty much has his whole life.
Doesn't even really see the need for labels at all, but if you tried to get him going on that, he'd be more than likely to wave it off so he didn't have to go through the trouble of being misunderstood when trying to explain.
He totally would've been a movie buff/critique. Hell, probably would've made his way into the industry on some film student type shit🤭. Not the best when it comes to actually writing shit out or explaining exactly what he means, but when he has a vision, he has a VISION. Trust the process, fr🤞🏽.
Is totally the target audience for all that action-packed shit. Rocky, Karate Kid, Top Gun,,, very male, very g u y, very macho-manly lmao. Might possibly even be a weakness, like,,, he really can't resist that stuff (not as passionate as he is for the horror genre, tho).
I feel like he would get really into the rap/hip-hop scene. Would also fw r&b mad heavy, love him some Michael Jackson, even dresses diff to kind of fit with that aesthetic...
Couldn't bring himself to cut his hair, though, he's too attached😭. That's absolutely staying, or at least getting braided up or something.
Actually, he was straightening/perming his hair a lot of the time, mostly when he was coming up, but eventually stopped and let it grow its naturally wavy pattern. He would cut off the dead hair as it grew more and healthier (never fully chopped/buzzed it off, though, bc again,,, he couldn't bare to lose the length), and he eventually learned to take proper care of it.
(We love happy, healthy, natural hair over here, y'all lmfao😻‼️).
Would definitely cook for his mom, both when asked and just because he felt like it (or if he's craving something specific for dinner that evening, he'll pull the, "Ama, let me cook tonight, I love you🥰." card so he can get away with cooking what he wants lmfao). Sometimes, he'll send his uncle off with leftovers for work or just make his own lunch for school, boxing, or going to work with his uncle, shit like that.
Still hasn't quite grasped onto baking yet, though. Still burns most of his stuff and has totally given up on making cookies (he's fs the type to end up with one, giant, morphed ass cookie on the sheet and he just has to stare at it in pure disbelief like ">:0..." lmao💀) ...
MASTERED THE FUCKIN' TRES LECHES, THO, LET'S GOOOO🗣🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️💯💯💯
Robin has friendly beef with Bruce bc fym you playing against my man🤨? I think tf not, Finney better win or "...that's your ass, Yamada." Won't actually do anything, tho, Bruce is cool people fr lmao.
More on him as a person, though, I feel like he'd definitely realize he's one helluva looker one day and DEFINITELY use it to his advantage. Charmer, but in a corny way that makes you shake your head and sigh type beat. Not really a romantic, but has and will make exceptions for the right people at the right time.
Even before that, though, he was always kinda cocky and it really only got "worse" for lack of a better word💀😭. Like, he's cute/hot, and he KNOWS it, but he's still gonna play clueless as if he's not looking at you with those big brown eyes and giving you a knowing smirk. Gets away with entirely too much, fs.
Robin's also a certified yapper. Doesn't even have to know you. You give him one good reason to like you or he hears you say something even mildly relating to one of his interests, he'll just start talking to you like he knows you (it's how he's made a lot of his friends, ngl, he's just outgoing and relatively friendly).
Talks mad shit, too. Bro's no better than a woman😭. Gets all the tea from the beauty shop/salon where his mom be going. It's okay, tho, because he's got such good energy and is a charmer in his own way (like I said), so it's hard to dislike him or to want to turn him away from your ongoing convos.
Laughs at everything, but says nothing (if that makes sense). He's sooo... "Nah, nah, it's just...🤭💀*more giggling*"
Bro is just a dork, he's easy to make laugh/entertain, not as stoic as most ppl think he is (regardless of the resting bitch face he chronically suffers from). Dare I say, he's lowkey a little bit manic pixie dream boy coded. No, I won't elaborate♡.
One like on this fic equals one step closer to a cure for Robin's RBF😔🧡.
Only does edibles. He's so scared of something ever happening to his lungs (health class traumatized him, no joke. He saw that model of the charred, black lungs from smoking, and that was all it took. He won't inhale SHIT that's not oxygen bro lmfao💀😭✋🏽).
Would probably cry if his mom caught him smoking anything anyway, so it never even occured to him to try it. He can hide being high, but he knows damn well you can't hide the smell of that shit, so gummies it is🍃✨️☁️.
RIP Robin Arellano, you would've been geeked at the fact that the Halloween franchise is still going 3-5 decades later😔🙏🏽.
───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────
𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 :
- before his death -
I feel like he got moved around a lot as a kid because his dad was a military brat or whatever (a classic hardass type with The Abuser Mustache™) ((if you don't know what I mean by the mustache look, think about/look up Chloe's stepdad from Life Is Strange)).
It didn't matter where he went/was/moved, though, because it was a dysfunctional home life regardless. Mom and dad always fighting, no real stable income (one of those things where it was like,,, sometimes they came off as well-off and be spoiled, and sometimes, they were going to an off-brand thrift shop for cheap clothes and other necessities), things like that.
So when his dad left, it definitely left a mark on everyone in the house. Bittersweet type of thing because while yes, he was a dickwad, he was still their dad and he cared for them in his own, fucked up way (part of why Vance is so angy😞).
I don't give not one good fuck what anyone says, Jim Hopper (Stranger Things) is that boy's uncle, idcidc😻✨️!!
(I love connecting fandoms thru coinkydink headcannons♡).
Vance is a middle child who has all sisters (five, to be exact. One eldest who's college age, a second eldest who's about a year or two younger than the oldest, one that's basically his irish twin, a younger sister around Gwen's age, and then a baby sister who's still in diapers). And absolutely he would go to bat for all of them (especially them two youngest, he don't play about them and he spoils them to death if/when he can).
Woman dominated house fr, and probably a big part of the reason he isn't fully/entirely off the rails (AND WHY HE WOULD N O T TREAT WOMEN LIKE SHIT. Again, I'm sorry but y'all gonna have to drop the narrative of him treating girls and/or fem readers like absolute dogwater. He knows ENTIRELY better, he's not a crazy monster, bro probably wouldn't even enjoy cussing at you, let alone calling you out of your name with things like "dipshit" and "cunt" and "fuckface" in a "loving" way all of the time, like absolutely not,,, I could go more into this but that's for the next set of hdcns I'm going to pos-...oop, I've said too much🤭- MOVING ON...!).
Speaking of cussing, though... Regardless of what I just said before, I feel like it doesn't mean he still wouldn't curse. Like, no, that boy can work his mouth REAL good. He probably started talking from an early age, too. Dude's first word(s) was probably something really sweet/cute, or something just absolutely vile, no in between💀😭. Maybe both.
Over time, though, he learned when and when not to do so. Like, when/where it was appropriate for him to cuss and when not to. For example, he'll cuss with/at his friends, in front of adults he doesn't know/doesn't give a shit about. But in more professional settings like school or whatever, he'll tone it down because he's trying NOT to get in trouble more than he already has (doesn't mean it's worked, but hey, at least he tried lmao). He cusses at home, yes, he'll cuss around his mom but not AT her, huge difference. Has cussed out his father plenty of times, cops as well. Won't cuss around the younger sisters, but will with/at the older ones. Point is, he's good at gaging the situation.
He's a Leo (birthday - August 10th), but for some reason, I think there's maybe some Pisces in his chart?? I...idk, don't question my madness✋🏽🥴✋🏽. But yeah, he couldn't give two fucks less about birth charts. That stuff not only means nothing to him, but he thinks it's really stupid, too. The only reason he even knows his own sign is because of one of his sisters, and that's it. Knows nothing about what being a Leo entails, doesn't care to find out, and will probably look at you crazy if you bring it up.
He has this fixation with pinball because there was always a machine or a place that had one close by, no matter where he went; he'd used it to drown out memories/high emotions, but now is just addicted to playing it, even when he's not pissed off💀. He was real pissy one day, played it, WON,,, and since then, he hasn't really felt a joy/satisfaction like it. Angry/upset feelings immediately morphed into, "Holy shit, I fucking won...!!" And that was it, he was hooked. Bro probably has the highest score on so many machines across the midwest area and doesn't even know he has this "nobody can beat this mystery Vance guy" reputation states away or something💀✋🏽.
Another thing he uses to distract/sooth himself is music. Not a full music geek or anything, but LOVVVESSS rock/metal music (if you couldn't already tell given his style). Kiss, Metallica, all of that shit. Was dreaming for the day he either got an electric guitar as a Christmas or birthday gift or for when he could save up for his own.
And, because he wanted to further mimic all the cool rockstars he was seeing coming up, he tried a cigarette ONCE, and he ended up hating that shit💀. He fr wanted to see the appeal so bad, too, but he just can't, and side-eyes people whenever he sees them smoke, now.
"Their breath is fucking rank, I just know it..." "They're literally addicted, Vance, they cant help it." "They need to be addicted to a fucking toothbrush and some mint gum🫢🤢."
Like Robin, when Vance got snatched, he fucked with and was doing his best to beat the breaks off The Grabber until the bitter end. He had a better advantage, too, because he's much bigger, so he definitely got good licks in - which led to The Grabber starving him so that he was too weak to fight back so yes, he took his time with Vance, made his death hurt, which just kinda left Vance feeling pissed off and hopeless until he died.
- if he had lived -
He definitely would've learned to calm down a bit; some time and talks with his mother and sisters, some warning calls from Uncle Jim, the threat of actual prison and not just "juvie for a couple of days" eventually set him straight. Still quick to anger, but he doesn't practically kill people anymore😃👍🏽. Don't ... Don't fuck with his pinball machine, though, that's still a very active warning/threat on his behalf.
He also gained a sense of moral justice, so even if he did decide to go apeshit (y'know, for old times sake), it'd be for a valid reason, ngl.
That lady from the Grab'n'Go store fs gave him that pinball machine at one point (replaced it with a lamer game or something, like Pac-Man or whatever). When she straight up realized Vance wasn't going to let anyone else touch that shit, let alone beat his high score, which meant she wasn't getting any business with it, she basically just-
"Ykw, just take it😐". ... "...What :0??"
He was clueless as hell, too, genuinely had NO IDEA why she would give him the ENTIRE MACHINE TO KEEP FOR FREEEEE, but was VERY grateful. His mom even tried to get him to give it back, but that woman insisted😭. "I don't know what you think I'm supposed to do with it if you won't let anyone else touch it, Vance. Just keep it and stop wrecking my store."
He didn't at first, has no clue when or how it happened, but very suddenly and intensely grew a guilty-pleasure liking for superheroes. Really likes The Hulk and X-Men comics and has stacks of them he's both bought and stolen collecting in his room.
Sometimes, he rips them up and makes posters out of them, like,,, rips out certain characters or speech bubbles he likes or whole pages and then plasters them around his room.
Relating to superheroes, kind of... You wouldn't think it, but he's got that Spider-Man mentality where it's like,,, he's always looking out for the little guy. When his sense of moral kicked in, he wasn't just fighting for no reason anymore. Now he was fighting if he saw some fuckers talking mad shit or doing something he knew was wrong on their part, so he'd set 'em straight. Would make sure people he didn't have problems with weren't getting picked on.
Also has a high respect for Robin because he essentially does the same shit, and because while Vance has the size advantages, Robin has the skill advantages that he doesn't. The feeling is mutual, too.
Is very confused and awkward when he is told/finds out girls have crushes on him. Very much like🧍🏼‍♂️.
Not opposed, just... bro don't know what to do with that info, and he sure as hell aint making the first move💀✋🏽.
He's more of a close bond, has to have already been best friends first, and then develop feelings along the way, typa guy. Likes real and close connections that actually have a chance at lasting (especially considering his childhood consisted of a lot of moving around, never really getting to keep friends, etcetc).
RIP Vance Hopper, you would've loved Thunderstruck by AC/DC but slowed and reverbed😔🙏🏽.
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𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫 :
- before his death -
I'm not even gonna lie,,, think of your average, white, classic, all-american poster family from the movies,,, That was his life. Stay at home, quirky mom, breadwinner businessman father, bratty little brother, rebellious older sister, golden retriever dog, snow white cat, nice suburban house with a front lawn and a backyard with a grill and pool, all of that😭.
He's lowkey kinda spoiled, too, for the listed reasons above lmao. Not in a bad way, but sometimes he says or does things that are a little tone deaf and you're just like "😃..." But I mean, if you communicate well enough, he's more inclined to understand.
It's just cultural/environmental difference, fr, that's all lmao.
Billy was doing the paper boy gig to save up for a car. A specific one, too (defo a car guy, I feel like).
I couldn't give details, but I just feel it in my nuggets, he was saving up for a specific car and my boy was DETERMINED, too. Bro was DEDICATED to getting this fucking car. Everyone around him knew it, like he made it very clear his only goal in life at the moment was to get that car lmfao.
I feel like he's a very detail-oriented person, but in the way where it's like,,, Very adhd-coded. Won't clean his room because "It's an oragnized mess, don't touch anything, I know exactly where everything is" type beat. Or like, whenever he has multiple tasks to complete, he'll do that thing where he'll stand somewhere and just start glitching lmfao like when you give a sim too many tasks at once.
He also really likes making lists. But then all of his lists get jumbled up, so he's gotta find the right list for the right stuff LMFAO it's silly, he's silly.
I also think he's a good writer and takes interest in books and poetry. Wouldn't write poetry, but would read it a lot. But definitely has half-assed, pending ideas for his own original stories/books.
And comics, too, he really likes graphic novels, things that have both descriptions and pictures that correspond with one another.
Like Vance, he also really likes superheroes, but unlike him, he's always been into comics and stuff since he was little, so the interest didn't just pop out of nowhere. Not really a Marvel guy. He leans more towards DC, so his favorites are Aquaman and Superman.
He also loves cartoons. Like, to an unhealthy amount. There he is every morning, sat right in front of the TV, no matter how many times his parents have told him to back tf up before he ruins his eyes, with a piping hot cup of coffee, glued to the screen running all of his favorite cartoons lmao. I don't think he'd ever grow out of it, either. He'd be in his 40s-50s, totally adapted to the newer cartoons like The Amazing World Of Gumball or whatever lmao.
You can pry the original Scooby-Doo from his cold, dead hands, though💀.
Billy's a Sagittarius (birthday - December 12th), but I think he also has come Capricorn, Libra, and/or Cancer in his chart. He just seems like a very chill, curious, and understanding person, which can either make people really like him at first or misjudge him (maybe even dislike) him. But at the end of the day, he's very secure in himself and who he is. He knows what he's got going on. And like I said, he loves to learn further and understand, so it's not like he's ever going to purposefully cause problems or anything.
If at all, I think he's also a non-confrontational person, much like Finney. He stays in his own lane, does his very best to avoid conflict, and while sure, he's got a lot of scattered friends from different areas and walks of life and whatever, it's that way for a reason😭. He's just a good dude fr!
He's also more outspoken than you would think at first. Can definitely hold and even start a friendly conversation, and honestly... TAKE HIM TO YOUR PARENTS👹👏🏽‼️. Adults love him, he's very polite and courteous, and they find him funny because he can for SURE crack a well-timed joke.
I mean it, too, I think Billy definitely has a way with words and comedy. He's so on par with all different types of humor, so once he picks up on yours, oh my god, he'll have you crying-laughing lmao.
Like Vance, he's good at cussing, he will cuss you the fuck out with his sassy, petty ass💀✋🏽. Knows better than to cuss in front of adults (like I said, they love him, and he plans to keep it that way lmao), and he probabaly won't call you out your name, but boyyyyy he's got a mouth on him😭💀!
Speaking of, oUUU he's a petty mf, he don't let SHIT slide. Ever. Bro can't fight but whew...!! He be talking shit like he can😭 (he's probably gotten his ass kicked due to this once or twice, ngl, but hey, you live and you learn lmfao).
Billy was a little too calm when he got snatched up. Like yea, he fought tooth and nail when he initially got grabbed off of his bike, but once he was in that basement and after a few days, he sadly just kind of,,, accepted his fate.
What he didn't expect was to be put through the psychological tortures of like,,, being beat or thinking he had the chances to escape whenever The Grabber would give him false hope, that stuff. That really fucked with him up until he died.
- if he had lived -
Oh, you can bet your ass he got that fckn car💀.
He was feelin' himself for WEEKS after the fact, too. He was giving all his friends rides, honking whenever he arrived at places, always keeping it PRISTINE looking. Not a scratch, dent, or spec of dust on or in that mf😹.
Just overall being super obnoxious about it ngl lmfao💀😭 (but he deserves to be, he worked so hard for it and everybody understood that, so it's fine). Got a better job after the fact, too, now that he could actually take himself to and from.
I know I mentioned him drinking coffee earlier, but to expand on that a little more, he was basically always drinking coffee and energy drinks to stay awake and (barely🥴) coherent when he was doing his paper boy job and school at the same time, so he now unfortunately has a caffeine addiction that he cannot shake for the life of him. He's tried so many things, he just can't let go😭. He likes it really sweet, too (he has a sweet tooth).
He'll add a lot of creamer, flavored syrup, sugar... whatever he can find to kind of just dilute the bitter taste entirely, he's throwing it in the mug. Also part of the reason why he's more fond of soda/energy drinks, because at least he doesn't have to deal with that nasty taste coffee has (I'm a coffee hater, hop off😒✋🏽).
Also like I mentioned earlier, he'd still have this weird yet cute thing with cartoons. Like, yeah, he'd enjoy a good movie (indie, coming of age type stuff), but cartoons just really do it for him. Sitting at the kitchen table with his second bowl of fruit loops laughing at Tom and Jerry is his therapy, truly♡.
While he can be out of touch, he's very open and easy to gain understanding from, loves to learn (especially since he's a writer). Just an all-around stand-up guy fr, you can not go wrong with Billy Showalter.
Hell, he can do no wrong😭❤️.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT HIS DOG, WHAT THE FUCK >:0!!!
HE LOVES THAT HYPERACTIVE LITTLE SHIT😭❤️🐶❤️. He's had her for a long ass time, since she was a puppy (idc what anyone says, the goldie is a girl, and her name is Harper), and it truly is the case of a dog is a man's best friend between them. He begged for the dog, got the dog, takes care of the dog, spoils the dog, he loves the damn dog, okay🥲?
He could be stripped of everything he knows and loves, and Billy would STILL make sure Harper was okay first before all. She's such a good dog, too. She's very polite and sweet, and it doesn't take much to get her going. Like I said, very hyperactive, so pretty much all you have to do is say a favorite word ("outside" "ball" "play" "treat" "good girl" "go get..." etcetc) in a certain, happy tone, and now she's all riled up.
Speaking of love, though, Billy's got so much rizz, I can't even fully explain what I mean. I could better convey it with writing, tho (somebody plz request Billy fics).
Like he's just... he's one of those guys you don't pay much attention to, but he could do ONE meaningful (or tbh even meaningless) thing, and suddenly, he's a 10/10.
The type of guy you'd have zero feelings for, but have one singular dream about being with him romantically, and then you'd wake up with a crush on him. He's just got it like that, idk what to tell you🤷🏽‍♀️😆.
RIP Billy Showalter, you and Harper would've loved Courage The Cowardly Dog😔🙏🏽.
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𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐘𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐚 :
- before his death -
He's definitely a popular person, like,,, easy on the eyes, charming with both his words and actions, handsome smile, LOVES to gossip, has a clean-cut, crisp style, and you wanna tell me he doesn't literally know/is on good terms with everybody from every clique? Girl, bye🤭✋🏽.
He'd look at you and say it, too💀.
"Girl, BYE😹✋🏼!!"
On that, though, I feel like his mom very much prides herself on appearance. Not in a vain, controlling way, but just in a "I love and care about my babies, so every time they step out this house, they gonna be looking RIGHT, idc" type of way.
And after a while, he definitely picked that up from her, so he takes it upon himself to always look spick and span.
He's a Gemini (birthday - June 12th), but I think he could very well have some earth placements as well. He'd find astrology interesting, kind of like Finney, but he wouldn't dive too deep into it. He'd know his Sun, Moon, and Rising sign, ask about yours, and unless you went further with it, the conversation on astrology would probably end there lol.
Also, kinda random, but his nickname is "Brucie". Like, idk, it's just fitting. It's not an all the time thing that everyone calls him, but if you know him and if you're close to him, it's kind of like a teasing thing. "Heyy, Brucie, what'cha been up to😹✨️?" You know?
I feel like overall, he's just a very calm, cool, and collected person. Not easy to irritate him or make him mad/upset (but omg, don't do it, he gets feral so fast), and also very understanding. Good listener, which is why he's good with the gossip. Very much resident secret keeper, unless he knows it's something he needs to tell, if that makes sense.
Totally the type to be like, "I won't tell anyone :D!" And then immediately think to himself, 'I can't wait to tell my mom/best friend/Amy lol'. But don't worry, that's the only person he'd tell fr😭✋🏽 (who am I kidding, he's messy as hell, and we all know it).
He do be instigating fs. Will watch somebody like Vance or Robin get pissed about something and be in his ear all like, "Wooowww, I can't believe they'd do that, what are you gonna do? You're not gonna let it slide, are you🫢😗🙃??" LMFAOOO just messy💀😹.
I honestly think of him the same way I think of Benny Rodriguez. Baseball was life to him. Like, it was his passion, it wasn't just something he did because it was a fun hobby or a distraction. Like yes, but it was more than that as well. It was everything to him, and he definitely had dreams to go the distance with it and actively searched and scouted for any and every opportunity to do so.
I also think Bruce is a very thorough music lover. Very non-discriminatory or judgemental, and will honestly vibe to anything. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have his favorites. Just has a wide range, that's all. Also an MJ fan for sure, tho.
Like Finney, he's got a close bond with his sister, Amy (who I hdcn is younger than him), but the vibe is a lot different. You probably wouldn't even know they were siblings outside of the house if it weren't for the fact they look alike. Not because they're embarrassed of each other or anything, they just have vastly different cliques/lifestyles, so the only time they really get to reconnect is back at home or on family outings.
The Grabber took Bruce and he had a wholllle mental breakdown. Like, got in that basement and was a full-on mess, literally inconsolable. Cried at everything for every reason up until he died, and if one were to have witnessed it, it'd be very heartbreaking.
The Grabber almost feels guilty for it, but only because he can't get the sobs, hiccups, and voice cracks out of his head. Ik I just said Bruce is a triple C case (calm, cool, collected type), but c'mon, guys. He's a Gemini. He be switching up😔🤷🏽‍♀️💔. There were maybe two or three key moments where he did something beneficial to himself/was an attempt to escape, but...yeah...
- if he had lived -
Bruce would've fulfilled those dreams on going the distance with baseball.
Or would've done a complete 180° from whatever everyone and even himself thought and would've become a fashion designer. I can't elaborate on this, I just...I feel it in my bonesssss.
Which reminds me, he definitely would've discovered his own style at some point and would've dived DEEP into exploring different things. Trendsetter type of vibe (and it would either be the case of people around would've been eating it up or they would've shunned him, no in between. But I feel like he'd have the charisma for ppl to eat it up).
Much like Robin, actually, he's so the type to be cute and KNOW he's cute, but act clueless lmao. Walking around as if he's not getting letters and gifts and whatnot from secret admirers WEEKLY, flashing a smile and/or a wink at people, all of that. But what makes him even more likable is that he's such a GIVER.
Bro is always giving somebody something, it's just in his DNA, it's all he knows. Not even his parents know where he gets it from, and while it's a very admirable thing he does,,, don't get it twisted, he's not naive, he'll take things and remove himself from your life just as fast if you fuck up. Don't test him, his patience is lowkey surpsingly thin💀.
But yeah, he's always offering his time, his money, his thoughts, his praise, his compassion. If he feels like you derseve it (doesn't even have to know you well, you'd just have to make/leave a good impression on him), next thing you know, he's trying to find out what you like and what you're interests are so he can just pop up later and be like, "Oh, here, I got/made you this :)."
Like SIRRR???🥲💚
But anyways, yeah, Bruce is the resident pretty boy. I mean, he was before, but I feel like he's the type to just get better with age. Bro would be 80 years old looking like a fine ass 45😻. And it definitely is a result of upkeep/routine; he and his mama zon't💅🏽 play when it comes to looking fresh.
RIP Bruce Yamada, you would've loved fit-checks on TikTok if you ever figured out how to use it😔🙏🏽.
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𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠 :
- before his death -
This neurodivergent little fucker OUUU he's an AuDHD menace to society, a little gremlin👹. Nothing he does or says makes any sense but YES IT DOES like,,,
He's just so inquisitive and insightful; wise beyond his years type. Just one of those kids who have an innate sense of self, society, and the world from a very young age. But it's all thinly veiled behind this glass wall of silly/aloof behavior.
Also, he is a younger kid, so that kind of adds onto the whole "People don't take him as seriously as they often really should" deal.
He's one of those people you either really love for who he is, or you find him very odd and off-putting. Or both. Not that he cares because he knows exactly what and who serves him and what and who won't for the current moment. Like I said, he's just...ahead of himself/time/what people would expect.
But also-
"You ain't gonna tell me shit. ... Suck my dick. ... Suck my dick you fuckman. ... You're gonna be here sucking my dick." That's literally him.
"You ever think the wind is trying to tell us something?" His poor tired mom, probably > "I just want you to stop saying odd shit😮‍💨🍷..." That is also him.
He's a Leo (birthday - July 31st) but I don't believe that for even a second, so I have the theory he's got a lot of earth and air in his chart that overshadows the fact that he's a Leo. I think he's one of those kids that dips his toe into everything, so whether or not his beliefs align with whatever he has knowledge on doesn't really matter. He just likes to know.
So, on that note, he does know some stuff on astrology, knows his birth chart, will tell you his sign if/when asked and will definitely ask for yours if he's curious enough to know more about you. If not, he probably wouldn't ask.
Griffin is everybody's little brother, tho, fr. Like even if you don't really know him or "like" him per se, you always feel some typa way if you see him being picked on or whatever. It's pretty much an unwritten rule in that small down in Denver,,, Do not fuck with Griffin Stagg. Like, even fully grown adults go to bat for him, I'm being so serious right now😭.
Lowkey kind of a teacher's pet. Not because he's a try-hard or anything, but he genuinely does everything he's supposed to. He participates when he wants to, he keeps straight As, he's quiet, all that. So, whether Griffin himself knows it or not, he's on a lot of his teacher's good sides :).
It definitely makes his mom happy, too, which he likes. A total mama's boy all the way (I feel like all of the boys are, tbh, but not in that weird, emotional incest, toxic way lmfao💀).
Speaking of...! Defo an only child of a tired but very loving single mom. A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS, WHO LOVES HER KID AND NEVER STOPS😫🗣🎶‼️. That's their case.
And it's not that he's sheltered or anything. He just doesn't have the strongest urge or whatever to go out and do stuff that doesn't - like I said - serve or benefit him at the moment. His mom really does try to encourage him, though. To go out and make friends, to go do something with any free time he has besides spending it in his room or with her. Sometimes he listens.
Sometimes not lmao. He really is a homebody, and if he had things his way all the time, he'd like a nice, quiet, and peaceful environment to be in if he HAD to go out. Like a park but with no kids there or a library. Maybe he'd enjoy an arcade,,, but only if it was on a very slow day and everything was deep cleaned and the machine's volumes were turned down lower and- 🥴💀.
Yeah...
It's not that he has memory or noise/sensory issues or anything (or maybe he does, he honestly wouldn't know for sure himself lol), but he's just got stuff constantly whirring around in his brain.
Operates with the file system (has to open up specific cabinets/drawers and sort through the files, find the exact memory/topic he's looking for, etcetc, it's a whole, intricate system) and even then, that's not always guaranteed.
So yeah, if he's says "I dunno" or "Prolly" just give him a second or two afterwards, because it's not that he's actually forgotten or doesn't know, he's just stalling while his brain lags lmao (he might even be sassing you a little🤭).
When he got snatched and put in that basement, he was calm, but not like Billy, where he just had a moment of acceptance. Calm like,,, more like when Finney was in the basement. Just very observant, scared, and confused. Almost a little painfully naive, which made it easy for The Grabber to mess with him😕.
And he (The Grabber) did for a while, "play with his food" for lack of better wording, before Griffin eventually wised up and started getting a little too smart, quick, and sneaky for his liking. Which led to his death, for sure, because I have a hdcn that Griffin fr almost got out (again, kinda like Finney's case) but unfortunately, couldn't try all the lock combos in time before he was back in the basement and then eventually,,, yk,,, for having tried it at all.
- if he had lived -
I feel like he'd be the type to have explored so many different interests, niches, and just really overall loves to learn. Wouldn't be able to stick to anything, but it definitely keeps him busy. Good at everything kinda guy; you could ask him about/to do anything, and he'd genuinely have surface level knowledge on it.
Human Google. If you wanted help with your homework, project, or just simple research, he'd be the best guide. And he'd open up a little, too, while doing it because not only does he enjoy learning, but he'd love even more for a chance to yap about what it is he knows/has learned without somebody falling asleep on him mid-sentence😃.
His mom. His mom be trying to listen but bless her heart, she be TIRREEED😫. Like Griffin, honey, you might as well be singing that woman a lullaby, she is out like a light😭💀. But it's okay, he understands, so it's not like he holds a grudge or anything.
I also think the more time he spends with a person, the more "character traits" he picks up. Spent time around Gwen? Now he's cussing up a storm more than usual. Hung with Billy for a little while? He's got that sass on lock now. Had a chat with Finney? He picked up on that little nervous thumb biting thing he has.
It's endearing once you notice it, and he's not doing it on purpose. He just mirrors you because well,,, he likes you and wants you to like him, so subconsciously, he just-
*sees you doing something* *now he's doing it too without missing a beat or noticing himself*
He met Gwen, though, and it was a wrap. They were stuck to each other like glue, besties, 4lyfers, and then met Amy and Vance's younger sis and after that?? Even if he was sheltered, he sure as fuck wouldn't be anymore😹.
I'm sure they'd be running around Denver, wreaking havoc and being little sillies together♡.
RIP Griffin Stagg, you would've loved making slime😔🙏🏽 (he'd probably make a whole collection of different types and textures, maybe even sold 'em for a side-hustle lol).
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𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐈 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐡😌?
I had so much fun writing this even though it took me so long lmao :>. but yeah, little spoiler, I've got more tbp content coming up, most being requests, and then I am slowly making my way down my MASSIVE inbox, so hopefully - in due time - y'all will see more content in general coming from me :).
but, until the time comes, I hope whoever reads this enjoyed it !!/ᐠ^˕^マ!!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭
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𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :
anon
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :
9,296
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :
none :(
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thewertsearch · 3 months ago
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GC: TH1S 1S WHY TH3 BURD3N H4S TO B3 M1N3 1 TH1NK GC: 1 4M TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO KNOWS HOW TO H4NDL3 H3R GC: 4S SUCH, SH3 1S MY R3SPONS1B1L1TY
Some backup would obviously be helpful here, but Terezi keeps insisting that Vriska is hers, and hers alone. At this point, it's hard not to read this relationship as a nascent kismesissitude.
There's another angle to this conflict, as well. The existence of Mindfang's journal makes me wonder who else might have left memoirs behind. If Terezi has access to the writings of one Neophyte Redglare, then she might be compelled to finish what her ancestor started, and take that Serket down.
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Based on the Doomsday Scale's proximity to Terezi's hive, we can be pretty sure that Redglare had some influence over her descendant's life....
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... and besides, Terezi is wearing the exact same glasses as her ancestor. She must have got them from somewhere.
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:(
Nepeta, we hardly knew ye. Why couldn't this cat have nine lives?
TG: youve decided to take her down then GC: 1 GU3SS SO TG: you dont sound that psyched about it […] TG: are you feeling guilty TG: like second guessing whether she deserves it GC: NOT 3X4CTLY
Terezi's pretty well-versed in Sburb's game mechanics, so I wouldn't be surprised if she knew about God Tiers. Perhaps, then, she's second-guessing whether Sgrub thinks Vriska deserves it - whether her death would truly be tagged as Just.
...and, if I was Terezi right now, I'd be particularly uncomfortable with the possibility that Vriska doesn't stay dead. If the laws of the multiverse don't think she deserves to die, then what if my entire worldview is wrong?
GC: 4DD1T1ON4LLY, 1 H4V3 D1SCOV3R3D SH3 1S COMPL1C1T 1N J4CKS R1S3 TO POW3R GC: WH3N 1 F1RST L34RN3D H3 C4M3 FROM YOUR S3SS1ON, 1 M1ST4K3NLY BL4M3D YOU 4LL, 4ND TOOK 1T OUT ON 4 H4PL3SS 3GB3RT >:[
Oh, interesting. I've speculated that Terezi killed Alt!John in order to punish the kids - it was the obvious subtext behind her actions. I never expected her to actually admit it, though.
This really highlights how Terezi, for all her charm, is just as sadistic as her fellow Scourge Sister. The only difference between the two is how they choose their victims.
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candycandy00 · 7 months ago
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The Doll House - A Choso x Reader Fanfic Part 4 (Final)
When your younger sister is tricked into selling herself to the Doll House, you rush there to help her, only to find her being led away by her trainer, Choso. Moved by your desire to save your sister, he convinces the owner to let you take her place.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Read Geto’s Part Here!
Read Toji’s Part Here!
Read Nanami’s Part Here!
Read Sukuna’s Part Here!
Read Gojo’s Part Here!
Note: Please remember that these stories don’t take place at the same time, or even one after the other! Consider each one its own timeline. So if you see Geto and Toji with other dolls, don’t be alarmed lol. I had to do it this way because if I don’t, by the time I get to the last trainer, there won’t be any other trainers left to interact with!
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AU! Each trainer will get their own story! This is Choso’s. I’m keeping the tag list from previous parts. If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged! Any feedback whatsoever is adored!
Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. FemDom. Sub Choso. Oral sex. Rough sex. Ice play. Threats of rape/violence (by the villain). Divider by @benkeibear!
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You throw on your shoes and rush to the door of Choso’s room, throwing it open and getting halfway down the hall before you realize Choso is right behind you. 
“You’re coming with me?”
He nods. “It’s after dark. You can’t leave by yourself.”
You pause in the hallway, remembering the house rule. You don’t want to drag Choso into this mess. Yosaku is violent and rash, he could very well hurt someone sweet like your trainer. But you can’t just abandon your sister! Choso apparently notices the conflict in your eyes. 
“I would go with you even if it wasn’t dark,” he says, then steps by you and knocks on Toji’s door. 
Within minutes, Toji is standing in his doorway, lazily scratching his bare stomach. “Yeah? What do you need?”
“Can we borrow your car?” Choso asks him. 
Toji’s eyes seem to sharpen, perhaps after seeing your worried expression and Choso’s intense look. “Sure,” he says, digging into the pockets of his pants to retrieve the keys. “Something wrong?”
Choso takes the keys from him. “Just someone bothering her sister,” he says. 
Toji glances at you, then back to Choso. There’s an odd gleam in his eyes, like a cat that’s cornered a mouse. “Want me to go with you?” The hint of excitement in his voice confuses you. 
Choso shakes his head. “There’s no need. Thank you for offering though. I’ll have the car back soon.”
You don’t miss the disappointment on Toji’s face as he waves the two of you off and closes his door. 
As you climb into the passenger seat of Toji’s rather plain four door car, you ask the question that’s burning a hole in your brain. 
“Why didn’t you let Toji come with us? Safety in numbers, right?”
Choso’s eyes are focused in front of him as he pulls out onto the road. You didn’t even know he could drive, but he seems very comfortable behind the wheel. “We don’t need Toji,” he says, “and I would feel bad if he got arrested and it complicated things with Megumi.”
“Oh, right,” you say, feeling terrible. “That was really selfish of me to want to involve him.”
Choso’s eyes slide over to you for an instant before returning to the road. He’s accompanied you to your house twice before to get things you need, so he knows the way without being told. 
“You’re worried about your sister. Of course you want to do everything possible to help her. It’s natural,” he says in a comforting voice. He’s quiet for a moment, then asks, “You said Yosaku is yakuza?”
You nod. “His father runs a small time syndicate. But he’s a big guy, and he’s volatile. He has three friends with him, from what my sister can hear through the door, and he might even have weapons.”
You’ve been trying to keep up with the string of panicked messages from your sister, assuring her that you’re on your way. 
“Has she called the police?” Choso asks. 
“She did, but his father has connections in the police department. She doesn’t think they’ll come. Apparently he’s shown up at the house a couple of times before, but this is the first time he broke in. She didn’t want to tell me because she knew it would freak me out. And… he’s been threatening to go and make trouble for me at the Doll House.”
You said that last part carefully. You didn’t want to worry Choso or upset him but you feel like he has a right to know yakuza thugs are threatening his place of employment. 
To your surprise, a soft chuckle escapes Choso’s mouth. You can’t imagine what could be amusing about this. He glances at you and his face straightens. “I’m sorry, that was insensitive of me. It’s just that imagining someone making trouble at the Doll House is very funny.”
“How?” you ask, genuinely confused. 
“The trainers at the Doll House, and even the owner herself, they’re all people you don’t want to mess with. Ever. So if someone came to make trouble, they would get far more than they bargained for.”
“Really?” you ask, picturing the other trainers in your mind. You can see Toji or Sukuna being intimidating, even being violent. But the others? Goofball Gojo? Pretty boy Geto? Kindly Nanami? You can’t imagine them fighting. But Choso seems confident that they could handle any problems that arise. 
Wait, does that also apply to him? Is Choso someone you “don’t want to mess with”? Surely not. He’s sweet and submissive. You just hope he doesn’t get hurt by trying to help you. 
Choso pulls into your driveway and the two of you jump out of the car. The front door is standing open, hanging off its hinges. Someone clearly busted it down. The violence and strength that required sends a shiver down your spine. 
As you and Choso step inside, you see that the living room is a huge mess. Cushions have been pulled out of the sofa and cut open, the tv is smashed, and two lamps have been broken. You barely have time to take note of the damage before you hear voices coming from upstairs. 
You can hear several men talking and laughing loudly, and you pick out Yosaku’s voice among them. 
“Come on out here and play with us, babe! You don’t wanna be my woman anymore, so you might as well entertain all of us!”
You start up the stairs, but Choso stops you with a hand on your shoulder. So calmly that it’s almost eerie, he steps in front of you and makes his way up. 
There’s a loud banging sound, probably Yosaku banging on the bathroom door, and you hear your sister scream out, “Go away! I called the cops so you better get out of here!”
Yosaku laughs. “Oh, you mean my dad’s buddies? They ain’t coming, sweetheart. Now, if you make me break this door down to get you out of there, I’m gonna-“
Yosaku’s voice cuts off when Choso reaches the top of the stairs, you close behind him. The scene before you is terrifying. Four big, dangerous-looking men are standing in the hall, gathered around the bathroom door. Yosaku is holding a metal baseball bat, and one of the other men is holding a crowbar. Just what do these creeps plan to do to your little sister?! 
“Who the fuck are you?” Yosaku asks, looking directly at Choso. 
“I’m a trainer at the Doll House,” Choso says simply and honestly. 
A couple of the men chuckle, but Yosaku’s eyes shift to you. “Oh, it’s you! The bitchy big sister who made my girl dump me!”
Suddenly your sister’s voice carries through the door. “Sis?! Are you there?!”
“I’m here! Don’t open the door, no matter what! Just stay in the bathroom!”
Your sister doesn’t reply, but Yosaku narrows his eyes. “See, that’s the problem between us,” he says, taking a step toward you and Choso. “You always have to stick your dumb bitch nose into our shit. How bout I break your little boyfriend’s legs and make him watch me and my buddies fuck you bloody? Then we’ll drag your precious little sister out and do the same to her.”
You feel like ice water has been poured down your back, and you start to wish you had involved Toji after all. These men are dangerous! And now Choso is going to be hurt! 
One of the other men pulls a knife from his pocket and starts toward you, but Yosaku holds his hand up in a motion that says “I’ve got this” as he walks the few steps needed to reach you. You can’t see Choso’s face, being behind him, but you can only imagine how horrified he must be. 
When Yosaku reaches the two of you, he reaches his free hand out toward Choso, perhaps to grab his collar, but something… happens. You didn’t see it clearly, just a blur of motion, but suddenly Yosaku is on the floor, screaming, and his arm is caught in Choso’s grip, twisted at an unnatural angle. 
Before you can even process what you’re seeing, Choso makes some kind of movement, and you hear the most grotesque snapping sound you’ve ever heard. Somehow you know for certain that Choso has just broken Yosaku’s arm. 
Yosaku screeches like a wounded animal, thrashing on the floor, the metal bat sliding out of his grip and forgotten on the floor. 
The other three men stare at Yosaku, then at Choso, completely stunned. Then all at once they charge at him, brandishing knives and a crowbar, swinging at him and screaming obscenities. 
Choso maneuvers further into the hall, away from you, and you watch as he calmly dodges their attacks, then counters with devastating hits that seem to strike their weak points like magic. All three of them crumble to the floor. It took less than two minutes, and Choso isn’t even winded. 
He turns to you, and for a tiny moment, his face is intense, his eyes glinting with rage, but his expression quickly softens. “Are you alright?” he asks. 
You nod blankly, wondering if this is all some bizarre dream. Then you remember your sister is still trapped in the bathroom, so you rush over to the door and yell, “It’s okay now! Choso took care of them! It’s safe to come out!”
The door clicks unlocked, and then slowly slides open as your sister peeks out. When she sees you standing there, she runs out of the bathroom and into your open arms. “I was so scared!” she cries, clutching you. 
You stroke her hair as you hold her. “I know. But you did good! You were smart to hide and call me. It’s over now. Yosaku won’t bother you again.”
“The hell I won’t!” a strained voice calls out. Yosaku is still on the floor, cradling his broken arm, his face pale and sweaty. “Once I tell my dad about this, you guys are fucked!”
Choso walks over and squats down beside Yosaku, who flinches and tries to move away, maybe sensing danger the way prey can sense a predator. 
“You and your father might want to rethink that,” Choso tells him. “These two sisters are under the protection of the Doll House.”
Yosaku looks at Choso incredulously. “So what?! It’s just a brothel! It’s just-“
“Ryomen Sukuna works there,” Choso says. 
What little color remained in Yosaku’s face instantly drains away. His eyes grow large, as if he’s just seen something nightmarish. “Ryomen… Sukuna?”
“He’s a colleague of mine,” Choso says. “Oh, and Fushiguro Toji as well.”
“Fushi…guro? Th-the Fighting Demon?!” 
“Yes,” Choso replies, “and they’re very, very protective of the Doll House. They would both be extremely upset if anyone made trouble for us.”
Yosaku looks like a deflated balloon, all the anger and attitude replaced by fear. “I-I’m sorry!” he suddenly shouts, trying and failing to roll over and assume the bowing position. “I didn’t realize Sukuna and Fushiguro were involved with the Doll House! Please don’t tell them about this!”
Choso looks down at him coldly, an expression you’ve never seen on his face before. You can’t help thinking it’s kind of sexy. “I won’t mention this to them,” he says, “under the condition that you never bother these sisters ever again. Never speak to them. Never show your face before them. Pretend they don’t exist.”
Yosaku nods emphatically. “I’ll stay away from them, I swear!”
“Good,” Choso says, standing back up. “Now gather your trash and leave.”
Yosaku scrambles to his feet, wincing and holding his arm, then hurries over to his friends and begins frantically kicking at them, screaming for them to get up. Eventually, they all drag themselves out of the house with their heads hung low. 
****************
Choso turns to the two sisters once the men are gone. His doll looks so lovely, holding her crying sister, being the kind and nurturing woman he knew her to be. He smiles at them, happy he could be of help. 
His doll looks up at him and smiles back. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough.”
“It was no trouble,” he says, feeling a little bashful. 
They decide to spend the night at the house, since her sister is still understandably shaken up, so Choso calls Toji to let him know. 
“It’s fine,” the other trainer tells him over the phone. “I’m not going anywhere tonight anyway.”
Choso thanks him again and hangs up, returning to the living room where his doll is cramming the ripped cushions back onto the couch. She stops and looks around the room. “What a mess. Maybe I should just set her up in an apartment for the time being. She really doesn’t need the whole house to herself.”
“I can help you clean up,” Choso says, bending down to pick up some fallen objects from the floor. 
His doll flops down on the sofa. “Let’s just wait until morning. She should be calmed down enough to help by then.”
Choso sits down beside her. “Are you okay? I know this was all very stressful.”
She turns toward him. “I’m fine. I’m just glad it’s over. I had no idea you could fight though. You were amazing!”
He blushes. “I do a little martial arts. I’m not nearly as good at it as some of the others.”
She leans closer to him. “To be honest, I thought it was extremely hot.”
“You did?” he asks, leaning forward to meet her. 
“Mmhm,” she murmurs as she kisses him, slowly and passionately, licking his lips. 
He’s struck by the urge to press her back onto the couch and fuck her wildly, but he would never do something like that without being told to, and not while her younger sister is right upstairs. 
Choso is honest to a fault, even with himself, so he’s aware that he’s falling in love with her. Tonight only cemented his feelings. He’d never experienced such anger before, such cold fury, as when Yosaku threatened her. It made him realize that the thought of any man putting his hands on her, for any reason, made Choso’s chest tighten. 
Two different buyers have already expressed interest, and Choso really should have allowed meetings to be set up by now. There’s only a week and a half left of the training. How is he going to feel when she leaves?
He’s already thought about keeping her, but he’s not sure how she feels. Maybe… maybe he should just ask her. 
She pulls away from the kiss and settles against him on the sofa, seeming to relax. He looks down at her face and asks, “How would you feel about staying with me?”
His doll looks up at him with wide eyes, then she slowly sits back up. “What do you mean?”
Oh, that’s right, she probably doesn’t know about that particular rule. “Trainers are allowed to keep one doll they’ve trained. Your contract would transfer to me.”
A mix of emotions flood her face. Surprise, joy, and something more heated. “So… you would choose me?”
Choso nods, feeling a blush creep across his cheeks. “But only if that’s something you want.”
She opens her mouth to answer, but then suddenly pauses. “Wait, would you keep training other women? Because I don’t think I could stand knowing you were being intimate with someone else.”
Choso smiles, happy that they both feel the same way. “I would quit working as a trainer,” he assures her. 
She wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. “Then my answer is yes! I’ve been dreading the day I’d have to leave. I want to stay with you!”
Two days later, after Choso has informed the owner of his choice and the paperwork has been completed, he and his his doll simply have to wait for the training period to be over before her contract is signed over to him. Choso hasn’t told her yet, but he intends to release her from the contract. If she decides to leave him, so be it. He wants her to return to her job, which was important to her, and to spend time with her sister. Hopefully, they can all spend time with Yuji as well. 
Presently, Choso is tied to the bed, naked but for a red collar around his neck. His doll is straddling him, holding a thin chain connected to his collar. She’s wearing a bright red corset trimmed in black lace, the tiniest pair of red panties he’s ever seen, and shiny vinyl boots that come up to her thighs. She’s an absolute vision as she leans over and retrieves an ornate silver bowl from the nightstand. Inside it is a pile of ice cubes. 
She takes one cube from the bowl and rubs it over Choso’s lips before kissing him, then she slides it down his neck and over his chest, holding it a few moments against one hard nipple before moving down. Choso shudders beneath her, the cold contrasting with the heat of the room and her warm body on top of him. 
She scoots down so that she’s sitting between his spread open thighs, and she smiles as she begins stroking his fully erect cock with the ice cube in her hand. Choso’s hips buck at the freezing sensation sliding up and down his shaft, and he whimpers out, “Ahh, so cold, Mistress!”
She giggles at his reaction, then locks eyes with him as she pushes the ice cube into her mouth. She swirls it around her tongue for a moment before bending forward and wrapping her lips around his cock, taking his considerable length into her mouth and pressing the ice between her velvety tongue and his tip. 
Choso cries out, jerking against his bonds. He can feel the slippery ice gliding over his cock as she licks him, one of her hands warm as it squeezes his balls. Just as the ice melts into cool water, he loses his composure, twitching as he begs her to let him cum. 
She pulls away and looks down at him, her lips shiny with various fluids, and says, “Go ahead and fill my mouth.”
Then she clamps her lips around him again as he finally climaxes, shooting his thick cum directly onto her icy tongue. When finished, she moves up his body, the silky texture of the corset rubbing over his taut skin, and unties his wrists, freeing him. She uses the chain to pull him up by his collar, so that he’s sitting upright in bed. 
“Choso,” she says, breathing out his name as if it’s the most precious word she knows, “I want you to fuck me rough and hard.”
He draws back and looks at her face. In truth, it’s something he’s fantasized about from time to time, but he only really wants to do the things she tells him to, so he’s never mentioned it. “Are you sure?” he asks. 
She jerks on the chain, pulling his face close to hers. Her skin is flushed, her eyes lusty. “Make me scream.”
***************
You’ve been thinking nonstop about how hot Choso was when he took charge at your house and beat up the men threatening you and your sister. And while you absolutely adore the sweet, compliant Choso who whimpers and quivers under your touch, you’re kind of curious about what he would be like if he were rough with you for once. 
So you gave him a command, and he’s obeying. 
Within seconds he has you on your back, your flimsy panties ripped away and your corset torn open, allowing your breasts to spill out. He only takes a moment to dip his fingers into your folds, confirming that you’re drenched, before he bends your legs up and spreads them far apart, plunging his entire length into you. 
You gasp, your hand clutching the chain, jerking it reflexively, causing his mouth to crash into yours. And then he’s thrusting, deeply, roughly, slamming into your cervix and making you see stars. Fuck, it’s amazing! His hard body feels so good against yours, one hand squeezing your breast, his tongue in your mouth. 
Has he been holding back this whole time? Waiting for you to tell him to go wild? You should have done this sooner. 
He breaks the kiss, groaning when your pussy clenches around him, then leans forward to lick up the tears you didn’t realize were rolling down your face. 
You scream out as he thrusts particularly deep into you, “Ahhh! Choso! Choso!”
With one final cry of his name, you reach release, cumming on his cock, shaking with pleasure as he continues fucking you until his own climax comes. You jerk the chain once more, pulling him into the deepest kiss you’ve ever shared. 
You sigh in contentment later, as you snuggle in close to him beneath the covers. You never imagined in your wildest dreams that you’d become a doll, much less be happy as one. But as long as you’re with Choso, no matter what the future holds, you know the two of you will be alright. 
Tag List:
@suguguro @kaedear @onyxsphynx @poopoobuttsy @butterskyy @collectionofdolls @akaotv @witchbybirth @bloofinntoona @wasurenagusaa @tclbts @tojirin @lucyrocks86 @badbyeyoongi @97britt @aydene @lzaj19 @lyn-lotte @missthatgirl @peachedtv @ladytamayolover @nanam1nx @deegausserr @voids-universe @hinata7346 @maflorex @issracollen @xkittiecatx @ryumurin @emrys3456 @mysecretesc8pe @typicalloser3 @gabriiiiiiii @fvsm4x @tyunhyukamyloves @rottmntrulesall @jakeywon @better-imagination-9 @wealwayskeepfighting @denenene @tomura-complex @kuro-chi69 @hellsingalucard18
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bookshelfdreams · 8 months ago
Note
Hiii I hope this isn't too forward, but your tags re: Ed's evolving reactions to abuse and Izzy as abuse-survivor-wish-fulfillment are incredible and it would lovely as its own post, if you felt comfortable doing so!
Aww thank you! The post in question
Also, tbf, I'm just obsessed with the rule of 3, whenever there's the slightest chance of seeing a pattern like this I'll pound on it with a sledgehammer until it fits.
Anyway. Ed has 3 abusive white men in his life; his father, Hornigold, and Izzy. And all 3 he deals with, to escalating effect.
His father is the one who exerts the most power over him. Ed clearly comes from a violent household, and as a child, he is obviously completely at his fathers non-existent mercy. He beats Ed's mother, throws dishware against the wall, and there was a deleted scene where he yelled at Ed's mother for "turning my son soft" (oh how I wish they'd kept that in. I can understand why they thought this was expendable, but it would have made the connection between Ed's father and Izzy so much more obvious).
Ed cannot protect himself, or his mother, against this violence - up until the moment that he can. The moment he realizes he is no longer weak and helpless, he retaliates in the only way that he has ever seen conflicts be resolved. He knows that he can't intimidate his father into better behaviour, if he wants to end the abuse it has to be permanent. So he just fucking kills the bastard.
This is, of course, Not Ideal. Even 30odd years later, he feels monstrous and unlovable because of this moment. The violence scars him. Not because he was wrong in killing his father, necessarily; the show doesn't judge him for it. But Ed destroyed the life he could have had when he did it, and he wounded himself.
Violent solution? Possible, but he deserved better.
Next up, Hornigold, who is also a mean, abusive bastard. He represents the avoidance solution: Leave and never look back. We do not know what became of Hornigold after Ed left his ship, but 02x03 implies that Ed expects him to still be alive somewhere. Ed clearly suffered horrific abuse at his hands, both physical and emotional, and even though that is years in the past, he clearly never dealt with any of it. Gravybasket!Hornigold tells him "Sorry doesn't rebuild an abdominal wall. You gotta move on.": Don't expect an apology, don't try to make amends, just ignore what happened. Apologies are pointless, you can never expect your abuser to change his behaviour. So just try to get away from him and ignore him.
This also doesn't really work. In the gravy basket, Ed is clearly still desperate for Hornigold's approval - and is refused, as he probably was often when he sailed with him. "You're never good enough" is one of the core mantras of abusers. Hornigold is still living in Ed's head, and heart, and soul; the poison he fed him is still alive and well within him. Ed even tries a violent solution this time, but obviously that can't work.
Still, avoidance is better than violence. Hornigold is left behind, standing on that cliff, while Ed goes back into the light. Ed doesn't have to take him with him. He cannot make Hornigold regret what he did, but he can remove himself from his clutches.
And then there's Izzy. With Izzy, Ed obviously has the most ambivalent relationship. He seems to truly like Izzy, to some extend (why is that would be another post, but as briefly as possible: I think Izzy provides an interpersonal dynamic that is familiar, and therefore, a twisted kind of safe for Ed. Chronic mistreatment will embed in you the idea that there's something wrong with you, and that's something Izzy is all too willing to point out to Ed. Crucially though, Izzy is someone who's approval is actually attainable. Ed keeps around someone who will tear him down, yes, but who it is also possible to impress, and over who he has authority. He's going back to the previous relationships, only now he is in a position of power, and that may feel like he can fix them. Obviously this isn't exactly a healthy dynamic. Izzy, for his part, clearly gets a kick out of the power and status being Blackbeard's first mate gives him, and manipulating Ed into doing what he wants. Just watch how pissed he gets when his control over Ed starts to slip.).
And there's another, crucial difference: Izzy wants to come around. Izzy is the fantasy of the toxic person who realizes how shitty his behaviour is, and who deep down, cares enough to want to fix it. Who recognizes the pain he caused, and who tells Ed the things he most needs to hear: I hurt you, and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this. I was wrong; you're fine.
And then - and this is also an important part of the wish fullfilment fantasy! - he dies. Ed doesn't have to deal with him anymore. We remove the possibility that he goes back on his apology, or tries to use that as a wedge to carve out a space for himself in Ed's life, or goes back to manipulating Ed. No. The apology has to be the final note this relationship ends on.
And this fixes it. Ed can look back on Izzy fondly.
He was a fucking nightmare. What a guy.
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Fic: The Birds and the Bees
Read on Ao3
Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)
Ship: Joel Miller x you (cishet f reader) / Ellie x Riley mention
Tags/warnings: underage child overhearing sex (but it's not weird I swear), queer thoughts, Joel is such a dad, Rough Sex, unprotected sex, piv sex, some mild dirty talk, trying to stay quiet during sex.
Summary: Ellie hears mommy (you) and daddy (Joel) have sex. I guess that's the plot.
Words: 2,257
A/N: WARNING can be a bit spoilery for episodes 6 and 7! Thanks to @rambling-in-purple for reading the Ellie part to make sure it wasn't weird <3
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Ellie is almost asleep when something draws her back into the real world, and for a moment she has no idea where she is. Where did these clean sheets come from, this comfortable bed, this warmth? It takes her brain a few moments to realize that she is in Jackson, the safe haven reached yesterday. Today. What time is it?
A sound makes her sit up in bed, heartbeats quickening with growing fear. She had thought this place was safe, but that sound is definitely not reassuring. She reaches for her knife on the bedside table, just as she hears the sound again.
A creak. And it's growing rhythmical. And along with it, muffled moans.
Ellie's first instinct is that there is a fight going on in the next room. A life or death struggle between Joel, you, and a deceitful Jackson resident. Or maybe the infected finally got in? Is Jackson already overrun with infected, or did a roaming band of bandits get in?
Another creak, then a louder moan that gets cut off, and it dawns on Ellie.
Oh. Oh.
Being shown around Jackson, you seemed relaxed for the first time in, well, all the months Ellie had been with you and Joel. It was nice to see you like that, and Ellie wished that Joel could unwind a little as well, but Joel wasn't a person who did that. Maria had taken you and Ellie to the house, Joel had gone to see his brother, and returned in a huff. Ellie, in clean clothes washed hair, had gushed to him about the hot shower, but his demeanor had been so dark that she had fallen quiet. Just then, you had appeared out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and Ellie had seen the looks you and Joel exchanged. You excused yourself to have an early night and took to your bedroom - the one you shared with Joel. Ellie didn't think twice about you two sharing: she had understood long ago what you were to each other, in addition to the protectors, family, you were to her.
But it's one thing to understand that two people love each other, and know what people in love with each other do, and actually hear it.
Conflicted, she lies back down, turns onto one side, wrapping the pillow around her head to muffle the sounds. It's too intimate, too private. It's wrong to listen to it.
Still, the reverberations travel through the wooden build of the house, and she feels them on her skin. Rolling onto her back again, she lets go of the pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling.
It's not the first time she's heard people having sex. She knows what's going on between the two of you and for what it's worth, she's happy for you. There is something so comforting about your obvious feelings for each other, and how they have spilled over onto her. Ellie knows that she was more or less forced upon you but since that night in the Boston QZ, a lot has happened. You're her family now, and she's happy that you and Joel can be safe and comfortable enough in your borrowed bedroom to have sex.
And it is kind of exciting to hear it, even if it's private. Ellie may be a virgin but she's not frigid. The moans she can hear must be from you, and she wonders what it is Joel is doing that's making you sound like that. Not that she wants to think of Joel like that, God no, that's just gross. The whole idea of a man sticking his dick into her feels gross. But surely a woman must be able to make another woman sound like that? Maybe she could ask you. If she wants to talk to you about sex, and that's a big if.
It hits Ellie that if you're her family now, then it would be like asking her mom about sex. And whatever is going on right now is like hearing mom and dad have sex. And that image is just too much for her teenage brain. When the bedframe starts knocking on the wall between her bedroom and yours, she sits up again and bangs her fist at it.
"Keep it down, you two, some of us are trying to sleep here!"
The noise stops at once, and she grins to herself as she imagines your aghast faces - especially Joel must look absolutely shocked.
"Serves you right," she giggles to herself before scooting down and tucking herself in. Sleepy and amused, she wonders what sex feels like. If she will ever have it. If she even wants it. Is there ever going to be anyone that she'd care to do it with? Will anyone ever find her attractive? Her thoughts stray to Riley, and how sweet it would be to share this comfortable bed with her, whispering in the night, kissing, maybe more - but she quickly brushes those thoughts away. That wound is still too fresh.
A muffled thud is heard from the other bedroom, but she doesn't care anymore. Curling up on her side, she succumbs to exhaustion and the soft mattress.
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"Shit!"
"Fuck!"
Your heart is pounding, your mouth is dry, your breathless profanity barely audible against Joel's cheek as he's buried to the hilt in you. He was in a mood when he came back from seeing his brother, and you knew there was no point in trying to make him talk about it. Even in a huff, however, the sight of you in a towel was rare enough for him to stop and stare.
"Take a shower," you told him, seeing that all he wanted to do was pull the towel off of you, "and come to bed."
Strangely enough, he did as he was told, but even hot water wasn't enough to keep him in the shower for more than a few minutes. When he came out, naked and dripping after barely having had time to dry himself off, he joined you between the threadbare but clean sheets.
"It's been too long," he told you, breath hot against your skin, hands already cupping and squeezing and claiming. You hummed your agreement as you let him cover your mouth with yours, sucking the breath out of you as he laid on top of you, his broad frame blocking out everything else. His weight on you, his clean, naked skin against yours... it had indeed been far too long for indulgences like these. You remember stolen fucks and sleepless nights in the QZ, clothed on cold hard floors during runs, but the last time you could take your time like this? And even with all the time in the world, both of you were in a desperate hurry. He sank his thick cock into you before too long and you welcomed him deeper by wrapping your arms and legs around him. When you moaned, he covered your mouth with his large hand and grunted in your ear:
"I know, pretty girl, I know, I feel it too, but you have to stay quiet for me."
You whined into his palm, and he replaced it with his mouth, swallowing your moans as he thrust into you with a renewed fury. The bed creaked but you were too far gone, too cock-hungry to care if Ellie heard you.
Which she did, of course.
Joel froze at the banging on the wall, and he inhaled sharply when Ellie yelled out her request for silence. Mirth replacing dismay as you recognize the teasing tone of Ellie's voice, you start to tremble with held-back giggles. With a grunt, Joel heaves himself up on his elbows.
"It's not funny," he lets you know in a morose voice. You raise your hands to his cheeks, feeling the heat in them. It's too dark to see, but your tough, no nonsense man is fucking blushing.
"It is a little funny," you whisper back and pull him in for a kiss. "She's fucking with us, you do know that, right?"
"We're gonna traumatize her - "
"This is gonna traumatize her, and not everything else she has lived through and seen?" you scoff. Your hand slides around to the back of his head and grab a fistful of hair. "Wise up, Miller, and fuck me."
"We can't - "
"I swear to God, Joel, if you don't get me off, I'm gonna go naked into the street and find someone who will!"
Your threat, unfounded though it is, gets him back on the right track.
"Yeah?" he breathes in a low growl, lowering his face over your chest, his tongue licking a wet trail around your knotted nipple. "You'd let just anyone touch you? Let anyone do this to you?" He licks your nipple into his mouth and sucks hard, making you arch your back as you clench your teeth against the moan threatening to spill out of you.
"Joel...!"
"Hush, my pretty," he hisses, sliding one hand to your breast and burying his fingers into the plump flesh as he lowers his mouth to your ear. "You have to stay quiet if you want me to fuck you till you cum. Can you do that?"
Your whimpered yes is followed by a choked cry when he slams into you anew, this time wrapping one arm around your thigh to get in deeper. You hold onto the bedding, the headboard, willing it to creak less as Joel picks up where he left off, doing his best to resume his devastating pace yet without causing any more noise. It's difficult, but when Joel puts his mind to something, he always follows through. He braces himself against the bed and you whine when he takes his weight off of you. You want to be deliciously crushed, taken, rendered breathless and immobile, but now you are free to rub your clit as he fucks you. Your slick walls clench around him at once.
"Fuck, that's tight," he groans above you, baring his teeth. "So fucking tight when you do that."
You stare up at him through the dusk, caress his flexed neck muscles with your half closed eyes as the pressure rises inside you. You whisper bitten off words, as if Joel needed your words to know that you are so close to exploding, imploding, the mesmerizing rise and fall that you so desperately need. He dips down to steal your breath away with a kiss and you suck eagerly on his tongue while simultaneously panting for air.
He almost slips out when you cum, your slickness and spasming muscles nearly pushing him out. You press your lips together, will yourself to swallow the sounds that threaten to come out when your body trembles under him. Your body, so sensitive all of a sudden, wants to push him away, but instead you pull him down over you and move with him, desperate and wanton.
"Cum," you beg of him in a whisper that might just as well be a scream, you have no idea as the blood roars in your ears, "cum, baby, cum in me, please cum."
Your overstimulated pussy feels the heat of his load spreading inside you when your words rush him to his climax. The strangled sound he emits is one that you've never heard from him before, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him tightly to you. His heart beats rapidly against your chest, where your own heart trying to match his rhythm, and when he tries to catch his breath there's only a stutter. He's sweaty but you can smell him and it's clean, fresh perspiration. His hair is still damp, and you run your fingers through it, smelling the shampoo which no doubt is handmade of herbs by someone in Jackson. He clearly took the time to wash his hair, which surprises you.
It feels nice. Normal.
"You smell nice," you murmur to him, sniffing his sideburn demonstratively.
"You do too." He brushes his lips across your face in a light peppering of kisses, each one a lingering declaration of love on your skin. "You felt so good, baby, this was good."
You hum softly as he slides out, slick and seed trailing in the wake of his softening cock.
"Might want to go again in a minute," you warn him with a happy smile that you hope he can hear, even if he can't see it. Joel groans as he rolls over onto his back next to you.
"Too old for twice in one night."
You chuckle, feeling the post-coital relaxation weighing you down in the most delicious way. Once was definitely enough. But you wish that every night could be like this.
"You think she's still awake?" Joel asks, and for a moment you have no idea who he's talking about. You had quite forgotten that the two of you were not alone in the house.
"I'll talk to her in the morning," you offer with a yawn. "Woman to woman."
"And tell her what?" Joel sounds both cynical and troubled, which amuses you greatly.
"About the birds and the bees," you giggle, shoving him playfully. "And what happens when two adults like each other very much."
He scoffs but takes your hand and brings it to his lips for a kiss before placing it over his heart. The conversation is over for his part, so you lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.
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thefudge · 7 months ago
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hiii !! injust found your Irulan x Paul fanfic on ao3. I was wondering what about their dynamics inspired you to write it?? what do you enjoy about their characters individually? Since I just watched the movies and my knowledge of Dune is very limited, I was so intrigued by the chemestry between them on screen!!! Seeing their marriage fleshed out in your story is such a great pleasure, you write so well!
Also, I just figured out about how their marriage was just for show in the books, been heartbroken ever since, found the ao3 tag and there's just 55 fics with them (disapointing but oh well). Yours is definitely the best.
thank you for the kind words! i'm glad you're enjoying my take on them
what got me into their dynamic is the fact that irulan is not only a second choice, but an undesired one. paul marries her for political reasons, in order to legitimize his take-over and to make sure no one else will marry her and possibly have a claim on the throne through her child (which is why he doesn't allow her to have children with other men, for instance, even though he has chani as concubine). it's all very calculated and necessary, and he often insists on the fact that he feels nothing for her, maybe only some kind of grudging respect (she is useful to him in many ways) but otherwise chani is his first and only love. and i really dig that kind of scenario: i actually prefer it when the future love interest is not just an enemy, but someone discarded or put aside, someone who comes after the supposed great love. and i love writing about hateful marrieds who have to make it work for political reasons. i also love it when the male character has to eat his words as he slowly has to deal with budding feelings for the wife he should despise. it's absolutely my kind of conflict. i'm definitely departing from canon in many ways and i've probably gotten a lot of things wrong (i haven't finished the books yet), but i hope i capture their spirit and that my story feels dune-adjacent
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shygirl4991 · 9 months ago
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Cover art by @merp0515 Gmod art by @b-r-i-n-g-x Do not repost art (this fic is for my sib bringx have an awesome day!) Summary: Frustrated with SMG4, Three takes his stress out on a pair of dolls he put in Fours room.  Slowly secret feelings slip out with a guest catching the whole show.
Tag: love confession, first kiss, dorks in love,fluff
SMG3 huffs walking away from four and the rest of the crew annoyed, SMG4 wanted to do a video testing everyone's skills in different challenges. Four knew that Three wasn't about eating challenges and other silly activities the others would be into, yet the man still told Three he had to eat a bunch of pasta against their avatar. He storms into the castle thinking on how to blow off steam since the group was using his cafe as background to help boost interest. He noticed that Four left his room open, there in the chest of his room were two doll made to look like their old design. 
He keeps stomping as he makes his way to his partner's room, he slams the door shut and looks at the dolls. He picks them up frowning, seeing their old design brought back not so pleasant memories for him. He sits on the floor with the dolls and sighs changing the pitch of his voice he begins to move around the SMG4 doll “Oh Three mind doing some really stupid shit that will make you look like an idiot, haha that was a joke i dont give a shit go do it!”  he picks up his doll and starts moving it “You're just giving me these roles cause you know i'm better than you, i'm A tier while your just a D tier scrub!” 
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He kept going back and forth getting his anger about the events out of his system, slowly something else surfaced as he brought the doll together. He blushed seeing how close the dolls were, he brought them closer as his heart raced at the thought of making them kiss.  Is this something that he wanted? 
He thinks back over everything they have gone through, he had to admit since confessing he saw the other man as a friend the pair had gotten closer. They joke around more, they hold hands more often not because he likes it after all they had to use their powers in that way. Lately he has not been able to get SMG4 out of his head, the idea of spending time with him made his chest feel strange. He thinks back to the last time he felt this way, he met Gary, he saved him from an explosion he caused due to using too much gunpowder they hit it off well until his obsession with SMG4 got in the middle. 
He sighs dropping the dolls, everything that has gone wrong was because of the idiot. Yet at the same time all the best memories he had was also with the man, with conflicting emotions he grabs the dolls again and makes them kiss. 
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He smiles softly at the sight, it reminded him of their first kiss that Mario made them do. He acted like he hated it but deep down he knew he loved it, he changed his voice and moved the SMG4 doll “Your so awesome SMG3, no wonder you became tumblr sexy man. Lately my thoughts on you have changed.” he moves the other doll making it seem shocked “What are you saying SMG4!?” Lost in his game of pretending he doesn't hear the door open as SMG4 went to check on him. He blinks seeing Three sitting by his bed holding the two dolls, he slowly walks towards him hearing the man speaking.
SMG3 blushes feeling a bit embarrassed from what he was going to say “Well what i mean is i love you SMG3,” with that he makes the SMG4 doll kiss his. Seeing this SMG4 lets out a giggle “Hey Three what are you doing over there?” startled SMG3 screamed, throwing the dolls away from him.
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Three turns giving the man an awkward smile “OH SMG4 how long have you been there?” Four couldnt help the smirk growing on his face as he looked at the dolls now abandoned. “Oh just got here, heard a voice in my room and wanted to check it out.” he then walks over and sits next to the man still smirking “What were you doing?”
Three lets out a nervous chuckle “Uh oh! Getting stressed out so I was teaching your stupid doll a lesson!” He smiles feeling confident that his answer lured Four away from the truth. Four hums picking up his doll then he turns to SMG3 “Well don't stop because of me let me help you out!”  Three eyes go wide before he can decline the offer SMG4 presses the doll's lips on his cheek, causing him to blush.
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Three stared wide-eyed at Four who then hides behind the doll “I can't help that i fell in love with you, we are friends now no longer rivals! I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. Could you ever forgive me?” still blushing he grabs his doll and talks behind it “Sure whatever this is fucking stupid why are we doing this?” Four moves the doll closer to him. Three was watching every move that Four was doing, nervous as to what the man in blue was planning.
“Because we had a fight earlier and i want to make it up to you,” Three blinks surprised to hear four words. Without thinking he leans forward, seeing this Four took his chance placing his own lips on Three. After the quick kiss, Fours face was dark red, he got up acting as if nothing happened  “We should head back to the others!”  Three gets up and grabs the blushing man pulling him into another kiss, dolls forgotten on the floor as the two share a kiss. As they pull away, Four looks at Three in awe, Three rubbing his arm “uh what just happened?” 
Four shyly looked down “My confession with the doll wasn’t a lie, i got interested in dating…looked around and no one caught my eye. But that's when I noticed an apple already did and it's you..” SMG3 smiles hugging Four “You're such an idiot… I feel the same.” They pull away smiling softly at each other before leaving the room, Four then comes up with an idea. Telling Three he needs something he runs to his room and grabs the dolls, he places them on his bed now holding hands. He giggles and runs out of the room “HEY BABE NEW IDEA FOR A VIDEO!” 
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pleasantspark · 5 months ago
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Oh Mary, Contrary How Does Your Garden Grow? Vegeta x Hanaki! Reader
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You had felt desire and love from Vegeta for years, and stood back to allow Bulma to take him. Unfortunately, this leads to dire consequences in the form of small Dahlia Petals.
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Warnings: Major Character Death, Pining, Angst
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You were hurting. 
You don't remember how long you've felt this way for him, but it had to be when he first arrived on Earth. You've been tagging along with the Z-Fighters since you were a kid. This led to you being welcomed into the group effortlessly. While you were just a human. And weren't pretty nor rich like Bulma you were very kind and understanding. 
Then, Vegeta arrived. 
His presence made you feel like you were on cloud nine. You could be yourself around him. Bulma however; gauged your attraction very well, and when brought up you'd deny feeling that way. 
You regretted not acting on those feelings. 
This led to Bulma and Vegeta going out and while you tried to be happy for them both you couldn't help but hurt, and your insides felt like they were twisting. Rapidly changing. 
Then, it got worse. 
Bulma announced that she was pregnant with Trunks. You tried to remain happy as you want to be supportive of your friend. But you... You couldn't. You declined the offer to attend the baby shower. 
It was a good thing you didn't attend. 
You were... sick... something was not okay...
While Bulma was suffering from pregnancy related ailments. 
You were suffering from your own ailments. You began to isolate yourself from everyone. You would also gradually distance yourself from Bulma and Vegeta. 
People suspected something was wrong, you reassured them, nothing was wrong. You just needed time. By the time Trunks was born you cut both Vegeta and Bulma out of your life. You couldn't stand this pain any longer. And something told you, this was going to kill you. 
During the Androids attacking. You finally made an appearance, everyone was happy to see you, but for some reason. You didn't look like yourself. Your once vibrant (Skin Color) has turned pale, your shining (Eye Color) eyes became dull and lifeless, and to top it all off, vines with Dahlia's littered your body. There was cause for concern when these vines extended near your eyes. 
You'd tell them your fine. 
They didn't believe you. You couldn't do anything without your body wanting to give out. To give up on you. When Cell attacked, you wanted to throw yourself at him to get rid of the searing pain in your lungs. 
"What a miserable creature." He would sneer, and you'd take it. It was true, you were miserable. You wanted him to put you out of your misery. You coughed up more petals, and blood. Your vision became hazier... more... Distant. 
You could hear Gohan, Goku and... Vegeta? Calling for you. But their voices seemed so far away. 
He was devastated. 
There was nothing left for him to do, once the Cell Games concluded, he demanded to get you help. Instead of the Hospital, he took you to Dr. Briefs who informed Vegeta that you were gone. There was simply nothing he could do to save you. 
Goku reassured him he could revive you with the Dragon Balls, but Vegeta knew, he knew that you were gone and no wish will bring you back.
Bulma was unhappy. 
She knew of your feelings and blamed herself for the death of you for a LONG time. She should've been more pushy. She should've gotten you to confess to Vegeta. This led her to being heartbroken. 
Piccolo was confused. 
For a while, he spent time with you. You'd always felt happy that Bulma and Vegeta were together, but your look betrayed your feelings. It pains him to know he could've asked you further on your feelings. But chose to stay a bystander. 
Goku was conflicted. 
He knew you were struggling. And wanted to help out, he was one of the very few people who stuck around to check on you. The one to try and cheer you up when you were down. But now, now, you are gone. 
And lastly, Vegeta was... He was Disappointed in himself. 
He spent the last few months noticing the changes in you, while you slowly drifted away from him and Bulma. But didn't know why or even notice. Bulma told him everything, from your feelings for him, to how selfless you were. 
This was all his fault. 
He spent his whole life with a woman he liked. 
It undeniably caused the death of someone who he perceived to be average. 
It's all his fault. 
Bulma's Sad. 
Goku's Sad. 
Piccolo's Sad. 
Gohan is even sad. 
What was he going to do? He should move on, but no amount of moving on will ever fix what he's done. 
And he's paying for it.
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frickingnerd · 6 months ago
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a second chance for love
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pairing: hidetoshi odagiri x gn!reader
summary: hidetoshi realized his feelings for you too late and you began dating someone else. but now he seems to be getting a second chance and he won't waste it!
tags: unrequited feelings (that turn out to be requited), awkward hidetoshi, reader dates someone else + break up, comfort, kissing, confessions, hidetoshi is bad at feelings, jealous hidetoshi
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hidetoshi hadn't realized he was falling in love with you, until it was already too late.
the two of you worked closely together on the student council and hidetoshi always had a lot of respect for you. you seemed to get him, when nobody else did. he believed you to be the most valuable member of the team. but you were so much more to him than that.
“there's some guy waiting outside the student council room for you. do you want me to send him away for you?”
hidetoshi hadn't even considered that there were other people close to you. that you had friends in your class that he had never met. that you might even have a boyfriend. you never struck him as the type for such relationships. hidetoshi always assumed that you were like him. that you had no desire in dating, just like him. but he was so wrong. about so many things.
“some guy?” your eyes had lit up when you spotted him through the window. “oh, he's too early! wait a moment, i'll be right back–!”
you had jumped up and hurried outside, right into the arms of that guy. the two of you were so close, practically no personal space between each other. and when hidetoshi saw the guy holding your hand he felt… something.
for the longest time, he had no idea what he felt. his throat felt dry when he looked at the two of you. his heart felt heavy. it wasn't beating faster than usual, yet it felt different. and there was this mixture of conflicting emotions, that hidetoshi simply couldn't understand.
by the time hidetoshi understood that what he was feeling was jealousy, it was already too late. by that time, you and that guy, who continued to pick you up after every student council meeting, were dating. and it seemed pretty serious.
and hidetoshi hated it. he hated that he had fallen in love with you and realized it when it was already too late. he wondered how things could've been, if only he had figured it out sooner. if only he got a second chance with you. and then that chance came, after months of waiting…
“isn't your boyfriend picking you up again today? what was his name again…?”
hidetoshi tried to seem uninterested, noting down some things, as the other members of the student council began to pack their things and leave, after another successful meeting. only you sat there, not moving an inch. as if you weren't ready to leave just yet.
“you mean…?”
your voice was quiet and you quickly stopped yourself from talking, before you could even say his name. an awkward chuckle left your lips and you softly shook your head.
“no, he– i don't think he'll come pick me up again”
“oh–?”
hidetoshi had put his pen aside and dropped his uninterested act in a matter of seconds.
“we– well, we broke up a couple days ago…”
those words couldn't make hidetoshi any happier. he struggled to hide a smug smile, relieved that that guy was history now! but when noticed that you were clearly struggling with this situation, he cleared his throat and tried to comfort you.
“listen…”
hidetoshi got up from his seat, walking towards you, as he spoke.
“i can only imagine what this must be like. to love someone and not being able to be with them, even though your heart is aching for it…”
hidetoshi knew exactly what he was talking about. there was nobody that knew more about this than him. he had been longing to be with you for months.
as he stepped closer, you rose from your seat as well. hidetoshi stopped in front of you and the two of you stared at each other, as he continued to speak.
“but i know that it'll get better with time. eventually, your feelings will fade. and it'll stop hurting…”
hidetoshi was a liar. his feelings never faded. it never stopped hurting. and it seemed like neither did your hurting stop.
“does it truly stop hurting? it feels like things only ever get worse with time. the longer we're apart, the worse it gets…”
“didn't you say you only broke up a few days ago? i'm sure that with time–”
“i– i'm talking about someone else right now…”
the two of you went silent. for a moment, a thought crossed hidetoshi's mind. but he didn't dare say it out loud.
“that… someone else…”
as he tried to speak, he found himself at a loss for words. that certainly was a first. he could win any debate with ease, but when it came to you, he never knew what to say. you were unlike anyone he ever met.
“there was someone, that i thought i could forget. i thought, if i got into a relationship, i could forget about them. but you were wrong. my feelings never faded…”
hidetoshi remained silent for a moment, getting lost in your eyes. there was so much emotion in just your eyes alone. you looked at him with such intensity, that he couldn't help himself. suddenly, his hands had cupped your cheeks and his lips were pressed against yours.
the kiss only lasted a second, before hidetoshi pulled away. mortified of what he had done. you were opening up to him and he had taken advantage of your vulnerability.
“i– i don't know what came over me–! that was highly unprofessional and as a member of the student council, i shouldn't hav– mmppf–!”
before hidetoshi could register what had happened, you had grabbed him by the tie and pulled him back into the kiss. this time, it lasted longer than just a second. way longer. after what felt like an eternity, hidetoshi pulled away from you again. he was panting, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and his cheeks were red.
“i– i don't think… i quite understand…”
hidetoshi was a smart guy. but after that kiss, he couldn't think straight anymore. all he could think about were your soft lips. why you'd kiss him was something he couldn't fathom.
“that someone i tried to forget… i was talking about you, hidetoshi”
“o-oh…”
your words didn't quite sink in, until a few seconds later. despite just having kissed twice, hidetoshi somehow struggled to believe you were genuinely interested in him.
“oooh–! that means–”
but when it finally sunk in, his cheeks slowly turned red and an uncharacteristically giddy smile spread over his lips.
“i-i see… well, in that case…”
he took a deep breath, straightening his tie and trying to present himself from his best side. after all, he was about to say something very important.
“if you'd allow me… i'd love to take you on a date! the truth is… i've liked you too. no, i like you! and while i couldn't tell you the first time around, i do not wish to waste my second chance with you…”
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