#this farmer is a hottie

[scionshtola]

i was listening to a podcast about farmers market romantic drama and now i just think what if corishtola farmers market meet cute

[scared-shyless]

Henry Stalin

The man, the myth, the legend

[sagelasters]

random scenarios to script for your dr(s)

✿ moving to a small town because your parents are on a business trip, and you caught the attention of the local troublemaker.

✿ the star athlete in your university kicked/threw a ball a little too hard and it smacked you in the head. they had to carry you to the infirmary.

✿ your vehicle broke down in the middle of the road in the countryside, a kind (hot) farmer lets you stay till they get it fix for you. but then the weather gets really bad so you have to stay with the farmer for a few days. they teach you how to harvest crops + you bond with the animals!

✿ accidentally spilled hot tea on some cute person you met in the street. after you insist on washing their clothes, they reveal that they're a member of the royal family, and their shirt wasn't that expensive (it was chanel's)

✿ you went to a party and then the very popular and social person began drunk crying to you. you console them for the night, realizing they're actually mentally ill as fuck. hey at least, they're hot. angst romance

✿ you're a barista and some rich hot person keeps tipping you 500 dollars. they also intentionally only enter the cafe shop during your shifts.

✿ this hottie in your new school keeps stealing your rightful place as top student of the class. you're both equally competitive, none would yield so you constantly bicker and argue. (you both secretly think the other person is hot)

✿ angry confessions under the rain. yeah.

[coffeeshopguest]

ahh! thank you so much for writing my gangbang fantasy, absolutely amazing!

i really love sambastian x reader, so it was amazing.

another suggestion is free use farmer x sebastian (or any of the bachelors tbh they’re all hotties) where they are tied up for a whole day and gets overstimulated from being toyed with alllll day

-🐇

ofc! glad you enjoyed, this one was so fun to write! i chose sebastian bc he's my favorite & the one i saw doing this the most. enjoy!

Tied and Used

Word Count: 1826 Pairing: Sebastian x F!Reader Warnings: 18+, smut, bondage, fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, vaginal sex, choking, praise kink, plugging, toy usage, free use, similar themes

Sebastian mentioned the idea over breakfast one day, he'd sipped his coffee nervously and tapped on the table as you chewed your food. To the point where you had to ask what was wrong. You knew Sebastian was kinky. You'd had that talk several times over before you were married. If you weren't into it you wouldn't have agreed to be with him which he seemed to forget often - usually not mentioning his own fantasies or interests in turn of just doing vanilla stuff in bed with you. You didn't mind either way but it was tiring seeing him suppress his own interests out of guilt (or maybe just plain old shame and fear). 

Upon being asked what was wrong, Sebastian devolved into a mess of blushing and awkwardness. "I wanted...to try something new?" his tone went high pitched, he tapped on the table again, a nervous fidget of his. "It's...a bit far from what I usually ask and I'd..." he sighed, shaking his head. "You know what just forget it-"

"But-?"

"No, no, I don't - it would only really work in winter anyway," he dismissed, waving his hand as he stood up and grabbed his coffee. "I shouldn't have said anything." 

You immediately stood too, gently gripping one of his wrists. "Why would it only work in winter?" 

Sebastian flushed nervously, shaking his head. "It's uhm, sort of an all day thing," he whispered. 

"All day?"

Sebastian hesitated, nodding ever so slightly. "I was thinking...like...rope...and..." he hesitated, trailing off and letting silence occupy the space as he thought of how to put it. "You...tied down all day? Just letting me fuck you, mess with you whenever I want?" 

Your heart dropped to your stomach, but not necessarily in a bad way. In the way it does on the drop of a rollercoaster. The exciting kind. "Well...winter is coming up...we could-" 

"No! No, I don't wanna...make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine! I want to try it," Sebastian's eyes widened a little and he nodded. A slight look of eagerness overtook his face but he quickly suppressed it.

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

He started simple, the rope tying your wrists up to the headboard, legs tied apart to keep them spread. He examined his work, waited for a moment, then asked "Is that comfortable?" 

"It's rope."

"Will it be fine for the whole day?" he answered, voice laced with concern. He quickly went to check how tight the knots were, ensuring he could undo them in a moments notice if you gave him the word. "I can take it off-"

You quickly shook your head, "no, no, they're fine," you assured. "Don't undo them," you added. Sebastian smiled, dipping down to kiss your lips softly. When he pulled back, his eyes trailed down your body. His eyes flickered with the same eagerness you'd seen upon your agreement months ago. "Do I get a safe word?" you teased, his eyes softened and he nodded.

"Of course you get a safe word, what do you take me for?" he kissed your forehead, you noticed him holding back on anything to sexual yet. "You remember we've used them before, right? You remember how to use them, lovely?"

You smirked, nodding, "The concept is fairly simple, love," he quirked an eyebrow at you.

"You're being a bit of a brat," he noted, a hand slid up your body, reaching your throat, "Quite bold of you considering you're tied up," he added softly. You liked this version of him, the nervous Sebastian was cute - the Sebastian who was nervous to take things too far, to seem weird. The Sebastian who wanted you safe and comfortable and who fumbled to even use the word bondage. But this version of Sebastian was different, like a switch in his brain flipped he would switch to an assertive and dominant person - confident. Kinky. "Do you want to choose your safe word, then?"

Nodding pathetically, you felt yourself already getting wet. "Y-yeah..."

His grip was light, not even choking you, just gently holding your throat. "If you can't speak or tap me, I want you to blink at me to tell me you need a break, okay? Two taps if you can, or rapid blinks, can you do that?" you nodded, "Good girl, safe word?" 

With an already shut off brain, you could barely come up with a word to give him. Finally, you managed to settle on a basic easy one, "Mango." 

He nodded, "Mango," he repeated, assuring you he heard it. He gently kissed your forehead again, "mind staying here alone?" he added. "If you need me, you can call, I'll never go far." 

"How often?" 

"Between sessions, I'll get you some snacks and water between too, clean you up a little, but I want you to stay tied down...that's part of the fantasy for me..." he explained. "Would that be alright?" 

You nodded, and he smiled, already enjoying this. "Good girl," he whispered. Gently, his hand tightened around your throat, cutting off your oxygen for just a moment. You let out a soft groan, and he smiled as he watched your reaction. His other hand slowly moved, cupping your breast. His thumb rolling over your nipple, trying to earn more of a reaction from you. And he got exactly that, a loud noise came out of you. Almost like a whine. 

He leaned back, moved his hand down your body and traced for your thighs. He reached up, gently rubbing against your pussy. Your head tilted back, hitting the pillow. "Fuck-" you murmured out. Sebastian smirked, letting one finger glide up to your entrance, his thumb gently rubs your clit for a second before he slides a finger in, causing your back to arch. Your legs move slightly, but the ropes hold them in place. 

"Damn, those hold better than I expected," he mumbled, pulling his finger out, it was coated with your juice and he gently licked it off. Leaning back as he examined you. "Don't know what I wanna do first," he said. "I have a whole day..." His finger slid back inside, and he gently began pumping it to gain a reaction. You whimpered out and he watched your face. 

You whined as he pulled his finger back out, leaned back, watched your chest rise and fall. "More...more Seb..." he smirked at your whines and slid the finger in, pumping a little before he slowly slid in a second. 

"That okay? Doesn't hurt?" he asked softly, waiting for an answer, leaving his fingers in place and waiting for your answer. 

You nodded, whimpering pathetically. "It's, it's fine, keep going, please..." You begged. He smiled, immediately beginning to pump his fingers into you. Your fingers dug into the bedsheets and you pleaded for more. He kept going for a while, waiting till you were close, he pulled back, slowly sliding a third finger in. "God...I'm gonna..." 

"Go on, baby, go ahead, cum," he encouraged, watching as your body tensed. Walls clenching around his fingers, he slid them out and watched the cum drip down your legs. He gently licked his fingers clean, slid off the bed, kissed your forehead. "Good job, baby, you did so good. I'll be back later." 

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

It didn't take long for Sebastian to return, he poked his head into the room. He admired the way you laid in the bed, tied down still, he walked in gently kissing your forehead. "Holding up well? Boring on your own? Should I turn the TV on?" his hand gently slid down your body. 

"TV when you're gone would be nice," you answered softly. "But right now, I was thinking something else." 

Sebastian laughed softly, kissing you softly. "I was too, actually," he stepped around the bed, finding the drawer of his bedside table and opening it. He pulled out some lube, fished for the box of condoms, glanced at you, "would you...mind...?" 

You turned your head to him, "mind?" 

"Uhm..." he flushed, "I kinda want...to try the plugging today too?" 

You smiled, nodding, "that sounds hot, go for it." 

"Would you mind? No condom? Filling you? Then, uh..." 

"Do it," you answered simply, and that's all it took. He gently unzipped his jeans, took them off, followed by his boxers, he took the lube, squeezing some onto his hand. He slid some across your pussy before moving to rub it on himself. His head fell back slightly and a soft moan escaped him as he jacked himself off as he lubed himself up. 

His hands gently squeezed your thighs, he lined himself up. Easily, he slipped in, and you let out a desperate squeak. His head fell back once more as he began to gently thrust. His fingers dug into your thighs as he pumped. You moaned out, eager for more. Gripping onto the sheets as Sebastian rolled himself deeper into you. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, as he repeatedly pulled out and slammed back in. He let out soft grunts of pleasure, barely paying attention to the way you basically writhered for more. He felt the walls clenching and looked down at you. 

"That's right, fuck, milk it, c'mon, cum on it," he said, thrusting as he fucked you till you came onto his dick, he thrusted through your orgasam as your walls clenched, his head fell back as he finally let go. He grunted out in relief as his seed shot deep into you. He let himself lean down, kissing your lips before he finally pulled out, he fished out a dildo from the bedside table, and then gently shoved it into your used pussy. You grunted out a little, biting your lip. 

He waited, "is that okay? Doesn't feel bad?" he whispered, you shook your head. 

"It's...good- leave it, please..." 

"God I fucking love when you beg." 

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

You began to lose count of how many times Sebastian came in throughout the day, alternating methods of how he used you. He fucked you with the dildo, his fingers, his tongue, he filled you multiple times and plugged you after each time. It felt like heaven. The sun set, and you found yourself sore. When Sebastian entered the room, you debated if you could take it. His eyes wandered your body, and finally he gently leaned down and kissed your forehead. "You're all done baby, I know," he cooed. "I wasn't too much, was I?" 

You shook your head, smiling as he kissed you softly down your neck. "Too tired for words? Let me clean you up, baby, you deserve it."

"Mh, love you.." 

"I love you too," he answered, kissing your forehead again. 

tag list:

comment if you want to be tagged in future Sebastian fics

[hotvintagepoll]

THE TOURNAMENT IS OVER! Eartha Kitt lounges in her deck chair in the sun, dipping her toes in the pool with Toshiro Mifune and sipping a brightly colored fruity something with an umbrella in it.

Far below in the shadow realm, however, the fallen hotties dance in the dark—let's take a minute to look back at them under the cut.

PRELIM PRETTIES:

Claude Gensac, Silvia Pinal, Ewa Aulin, Rita Tushingham, Annette Funicello, Norma Bengell, Catherine Spaak, Brigitte Auber, Micheline Presle, Nanette Fabray, Libertad Lamarque, Vera Miles, Martha Raye, Catherine McLeod, Virginia Mayo, Elizabeth Allan, Belle Bennet, Virginia Cherill, Mary Brian, Ruth Chatterton, Agnes Ayres, Merna Kennedy, Marie Prevost, Corinne Griffith, May Allison, Virginia Brown Faire, Alice Brady, and Jetta Goudal

ROUND ONE WONDERS:

Angie Dickinson, Thelma Ritter, Geraldine Chaplin, Evelyn Preer, Vanessa Brown, Betty Blythe, Susan Hayward, Mae Clarke, Sally Ann Howes, Ossi Oswalda, Adrienne La Russa, Hermione Gingold, Barbara Bouchet, Melina Mercouri, Anna Karina, Edwige Fenech, Charmian Carr, Pina Pellicer, Marlène Jobert, Tsuru Aoki, Alice Roberts, Leila Hyams, Lady Tsen Mei, Geneviève Bujold, Dolores Hart, Anita Berber, Bonita Granville, Vonetta McGee, Claire Windsor, Zizi Jeanmaire, Tuesday Weld, Grace Darmond, Carol Channing, Deanna Durbin, Laraine Day, Mariette Hartey, Wendy Hiller, Candy Darling, Hermione Baddely, Valeria Creti, Ella Raines, Ann Miller, Dana Wynter, Dalida, Martine Beswick, Gale Storm, Simone Signoret, Cristina Gaioni, Mabel Normand, Stéphane Audran, Ruth Weyher, Anna Wiazemsky, Ann Sheridan, Sandhya Shantaram, Alice White, Anne Francis, Gena Rowlands, Lyda Borelli, May Whitty, Cathleen Nesbitt, Jessica Walter, Virna Lisi, Barbara Shelley, Iris Hall, Heather Angel, Anne Shirley, Joanna Pettet, Virginia O'Brien, Joan Collins, Greer Garson, Gracie Allen, Peggy Ryan, Frances Dee, Shirley Maclaine, Geraldine Farrar, Kathleen Byron, Margaret Hamilton, Eva Gabor, Francesca Bertini, Julie Adams, Olga Baclanova, Misa Uehara, Yvette Vickers, Milena Dravić, Jenny Jugo, Madeleine Carroll, Benita Hume, Olive Borden, Shirley Jones, Miyoshi Umeki, Dorothy Lamour, Gale Sondergaard, Mary Anderson, Charlotte Greenwood, Sybil Seely, Mona Barrie, Kathryn Grayson, Katharine Ross, Madge Bellamy, Rhonda Fleming, Sally Gray, Jana Brejchová, Debra Paget, Madame Sul-Te-Wan, Evelyn Brent, Zelma O'Neal, Marie Laforêt, Türkan Şoray, Beatriz Costa, Irene Zazians, Eleanor Powell, Susan Luckey, Patsy Kelly, Lil Dagover, Norma Talmadge, Dorothy Mackaill, Madge Evans, Virginia McKenna, Amália Rodrigues, Mamie Van Doren, Valerie Hobson, Isabel Jeans, Beata Tyszkiewicz, Claire Luce, Aleksandra Khokhlova, Nieves Navarro Garcia, Janet Leigh, Carmen Miranda, Jean Harlow, Aud Egedge-Nissen, Nina Foch, Jean Simmons, Piper Laurie, Katy Jurado, Jayne Mansfield, Anita Garvin, Frances Farmer, Lizabeth Scott, Joan Greenwood, Una Merkel, Arlene Francis, Ethel Merman, Doris Day, Suzanne Pleshette, Ruta Lee, Carolyn Jones, June Richmond, Eva Nil, Diana Dors, Anna Chang, Colleen Moore, Alexis Smith, Yvette Mimieux, Ruby Keeler, Viola Dana, Dolores Grey, Marie Windsor, Danielle Darieux, Jean Parker, Julie Christie, Acquanetta, Leatrice Joy, Ghita Nørby, Julie Newmar, Joanne Woodward, Sandra Dee, Eva Marie Saint, Simone Simon, Katherine Dunham, Birgitte Price, Lee Grant, Anita Page, Flora Robson, Martha Sleeper, Elsie Ames, Isabel "Coca" Sarli, Glenda Farrell, Kathleen Burke, Linden Travers, Diane Baker, Joan Davis, Joan Leslie, Sylvia Sidney, Marie Dressler, June Lockhart, Emmanuelle Riva, Libertad Leblanc, Susannah Foster, Susan Fleming, Dolores Costello, Ann Smyrner, Luise Rainer, Anna Massey, Evelyn Ankers, Ruth Gordon, Eva Dahlbeck, Ansa Ikonen, Diana Wynyard, Patricia Neal, Etta Lee, Gloria Stuart, Arletty, Dorothy McGuire, Mitzi Gaynor, Gwen Verdon, Maria Schell, Lili Damita, Ethel Moses, Gloria Holden, Kay Thompson, Jeanne Crain, Edna May Oliver, Lili Liliana, Ruth Chatterton, Giulietta Masina, Claire Bloom, Dinah Sheridan, Carroll Baker, Brenda de Banzie, Milú, Hertha Thiele, Hanka Ordonówna, Lillian Roth, Jane Powell, Carol Ohmart, Betty Garrett, Kalina Jędrusik, Edana Romney, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Kay Kendall, Ruth Hussey, Véra Clouzot, Jadwiga Smosarska, Marge Champion, Mary Astor, Ann Harding, María Casares, Maureen O'Sullivan, Mildred Natwick, Michèle Morgan, Romy Schneider, Elisabeth Bergner, Celeste Holm, Betty Hutton, Susan Peters, Mehtab, Leslie Caron, Anna Sten, Janet Munro, Nataša Gollová, Eve Arden, Ida Lupino, Regina Linnanheimo, Sonja Henie, and Terry (what a good girl)

ROUND TWO BEAUTIES:

Evelyn Nesbit, Thelma Todd, Tura Satana, Helen Gibson, Maureen O'Hara, Rocío Dúrcal, Mary Nolan, Lois Maxwell, Maggie Smith, Zulma Faiad, Ursula Andress, Musidora, Delphine Seyrig, Marian Marsh, Leatrice Joy, Sharon Tate, Pina Menichelli, Teresa Wright, Shelley Winters, Lee Remick, Jane Wyman, Martita Hunt, Barbara Bates, Susan Strasberg, Marie Bryant, Diana Rigg, Jane Birkin, Rosalind Russell, Vanessa Redgrave, Brigitte Helm, Gloria Grahame, Rosemary Clooney, Bebe Daniels, Constance Bennett, Lilian Bond, Ann Dvorak, Jeanette Macdonald, Pouri Banayi, Raquel Welch, Vilma Bánky, Dorothy Malone, Olive Thomas, Celia Johnson, Moira Shearer, Priscilla Lane, Dolores del Río, Ann Sothern, Françoise Rosay, June Allyson, Carole Lombard, Jeni Le Gon, Takako Irie, Barbara Steele, Claudette Colbert, Lalita Pawar, Asta Nielsen, Sandra Milo, Maria Montez, Mae West, Alma Rose Aguirre, Bibi Andersson, Joan Blondell, Anne Bancroft, Elsa Lanchester, Nita Naldi, Suchitra Sen, Dorothy Van Engle, Elisabeth Welch, Esther Williams, Loretta Young, Margueritte De La Motte, Ita Rina, Constance Talmadge, Margaret Lockwood, Barbara Bedford, Josette Day, Stefania Sandrelli, Jane Russell, Doris Dowling, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Donna Reed, Ruby Dee, Diana Sands, Billie Burke, Kyōko Kagawa, Françoise Dorléac, Hend Rostom, Monica Vitti, Lilian Harvey, Marjorie Main, Jeanne Moreau, Lola Flores, Ann Blyth, Janet Gaynor, Jennifer Jones, Margaret Sullavan, Sadhana, Ruby Myers, Lotus Long, Honor Blackman, Marsha Hunt, Debbie Reynolds, Michèle Mercier, Irene Dunne, Jean Arthur, Judy Holliday, Tippi Hedren, Susse Wold, Vera-Ellen, Carmelita González, Nargis Dutt, Purnima, Harriet Andersson, Yvonne De Carlo, Miroslava Stern, Sheila Guyse, Helen, Margaret Dumont, Betty Grable, Joan Bennett, Jane Greer, Judith Anderson, Liv Ullman, Vera Zorina, Joan Fontaine, Silvana Mangano, and Lee Ya-Ching

ROUND THREE ELECTRIFIERS:

Jean Hagen, Sumiko Mizukubo, Mary Philbin, Ann-Margret, Margaret Rutherford, Claudia Cardinale, Eleanor Parker, Jessie Matthews, Theresa Harris, Brigitte Bardot, Alla Nazimova, Faye Dunaway, Marion Davies, Anna Magnani, Theda Bara, Myrna Loy, Kay Francis, Fay Wray, Barbra Streisand, Bette Davis, Hideko Takamine, France Nuyen, Claudine Auger, Miriam Hopkins, Maylia Fong, Samia Gamal, Maude Fealy, Machiko Kyō, Sharmila Tagore, Lucille Ball, Ginger Rogers, Juanita Moore, Anna Fougez, Waheeda Rehman, Ruan Lingyu, Nina Mae McKinney, Ethel Waters, Nadira, Olivia de Havilland, Abbey Lincoln, Louise Beavers, Agnes Moorehead, Lana Turner, Norma Shearer, Maria Falconetti, Reiko Sato, Marie Doro, Clara Bow, Margaret Lindsay, Catherine Denueve, Madhabi Mukherjee, Rosaura Revueltas, Hu Die, Mary Pickford, Fredi Washington, Louise Brooks, Leonor Maia, Merle Oberon, Paulette Goddard, Vivien Leigh, Francine Everett, Savitri, Tita Merello, and Meena Kumari

ROUND FOUR STUNNERS:

Judy Garland, Dorothy Dandridge, Yoshiko Yamaguchi, Marilyn Monroe, Irene Papas, Lupe Vélez, Pola Negri, Gene Tierney, Barbara Stanwyck, Gina Lollobrigida, Lena Horne, Nutan, Jean Seberg, Kim Novak, Gladys Cooper, Tallulah Bankhead, Linda Darnell, Julie Andrews, Carmen Sevilla, Gloria Swanson, Glynis Johns, Anne Baxter, Angela Lansbury, Anita Ekberg, Toshia Mori, Deborah Kerr, Hazel Scott, Chelo Alonso, Cyd Charisse, Nancy Kwan, Devika Rani, Shima Iwashita, and Anouk Aimée

ROUND FIVE SMOKESHOWS:

Setsuko Hara, Pearl Bailey, Joan Crawford, Madhubala, Marpessa Dawn, Keiko Awaji, Rita Hayworth, Veronica Lake, Ava Gardner, Greta Garbo, Grace Kelly, Xia Meng, Suraiya, Natalie Wood, María Félix, and Mbissine Thérèse Diop

ROUND SIX SEXY LADIES:

Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Vyjyanthimala, Jane Fonda, Katharine Hepburn, Josephine Baker, Elizabeth Taylor, and Ingrid Bergman

QUARTER FINALIST GLAMAZONS:

Audrey Hepburn, Marlene Dietrich, Anna May Wong, and Lauren Bacall

SEMIFINALIST ICONS:

Rita Moreno, Diahann Carroll

FINALIST FABULOSITY:

Hedy Lamarr

ULTIMATE CHAMPION OF THE HOT & VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN TOURNAMENT:

Eartha Kitt

[salt-n-salt]

Hi I am such a huge fan of ur art it is so so good….like fruit loops!! Or something!!! Idk!

I very humbly offer up my girl fail August…she’s a Harvey kisser but she’s also good pals with Shane! There’s more art and stuff abt her on @fishyfarms :)

gyatt damn ur farmer is such a hottie 😫 ty for letting me bat my long eyelashes at her and giving me an excuse to draw curls 🫂🫂🤝🤝

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: October 2024

hello, ahoy, and welcome to my October reading recap.

I made a real effort to focus on spooOOOoooky books this month, in the name of the season; you may even recall that I started early and read some spooky stories at the tail end of September. (read Carmen Maria Machado's comic The Low, Low Woods, btw.)

I've never been great at sticking to a theme but I think it helped that what gets classified as "horror" can vary greatly, so I never really got bored of the genre. I did get disappointed more than once by how Not Spooky some of these books turned out to be, but that's a totally different question.

right at the end of the month you'll notice a couple of outliers with Caped Crusade and Luster, which happened entirely because I was out of library books and on the road for a conference, so I was reading what I could get my hands on! I've been working on rereading Caped Crusade on and off for a couple months and I bought Luster at a cool indie bookstore in the town I was visiting and then inhaled most of it on the way home.

ANYWAY. to the books!

And Then I Woke Up (Malcolm Devlin, 2022) - this is a novella with an interesting spin on the zombie story, where the "zombies" are actually people who have started suffering hallucinations that fill them with paranoia and force them see other people as monsters. so, like, there were never any REAL monsters, but a woman looked at her young son and saw him as a cannibalistic monster, so she killed him. so who's the real monster? it's very deep. this story's explanation for this is "the narrative," an idea so strong that it simply seems to take hold of anyone who's around a sufficiently charismatic ringleader who drives them to join in their delusions and kill innocents who don't share their worldview. it's not a super subtle zombie metaphor, but I guess very few zombie metaphors are. it's fine.

Through the Woods (Emily Carroll, 2014) - I truly wholeheartedly wish I had more to say about this but it's just a very charming creepy collection of comics. my favorite was the one that was the scariest, involving humans getting taken over by body-snatching worm monsters, but on the whole it was a very minor creepy factor. the art's great the whole way through.

Happy Medium (Sarah Adler, 2024) - Happy Medium is October's romance novel as picked by my patreonites, and I will admit: my hopes were not high going in. a conwoman posing as a psychic clashing with a skeptical hottie goat farmer didn't ping me as a great mix, but honestly? HONESTLY? it kind of served. there was a much more well-rounded emotional core to this book than I often encounter in my romance novels; at risk of sounding like a cornball it genuinely had a lot of heart. the conwoman is actually extremely charming, I was rooting for her in a big way, and her emotional journey goes so far beyond just falling in love with the goat farmer. I'll happily claim Happy Medium as my #1 romance of the year unless a challenger arises in the next two months, but it's not looking likely.

The Ones That Got Away (Stephen Graham Jones, 2010) - this is a collection of Graham's short stories that was published long before he became a huge name in horror with books like The Only Good Indians and My Heart Is a Chainsaw. and as much as I hate to say it, I think I personally prefer his longer form fiction. none of these short stories were bad, per se, and they're incredibly stylized and polished, but I think I like Jones' work a lot more when it has time to simmer out. I may have also been biased by the fact that I was desperately seeking something scary to read, because while Jones plays with some pretty narsty concepts, the horror tends not to hit until a last page reveal that recontextualizes everything that's come before. which is cool! but not scaring me as much as I wish it was.

The Salt Grows Heavy (Cassandra Khaw, 2023) - a lot of people told me I should read this because it stars a killer mermaid and a plague doctor, which are two aesthetic archetypes I love, and I will give this to Cassandra Khaw: I liked this a lot more than their other book, Nothing But Blackened Teeth. which is clearing a very low bar, since I didn't really like that book at all, but I do think Salt is genuinely a pretty marked improvement. the prose is still kind of torturously overwrought in many places and I desperately wish that Khaw would put the thesaurus away, but there's like. a Concept here. the core is fun.

Tell Me I'm Worthless (Alison Rumfitt, 2021) - this book is by far the scariest I read, because the horror is hatred and bigotry and a fucked up, evil house that brings out the very worst of everyone who steps inside of it. this book gets so fucked up and bloody and downright nasty in its exploration of the characters and the underlying bigotries that turn them against each other and drive them apart. I don't want to spoil anything, but the book follows a white trans woman named Alice and her mixed race, cis ex-girlfriend Ila. in the past Alice and Ila entered the evil house with their friend Hannah; that ended with Hannah dead and missing and Alice and Ila both scarred and traumatized, each certain that they were raped by the other. so that's what this book is like! not a lighthearted undertaking, but one that I could. not. put. down.

A Sunny Place for Shady People (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2024) - what is there to say? Enríquez is my short story queens, and her new release absolutely lived up to the precedent set for me by The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, which was originally published in 2009 but not translated into English until 2021. this collection is sooo aptly named, because many of the stories are obsessed with the terror of places: hotels haunted by memories, neighborhoods filled with ghosts, junkyards where bodies are hidden, towns abandoned and taken over by something sinister. also, completely detached from the quality of the writing, this book has one of the most striking covers I've encountered this year. the screaming yellow cover and bold purple text looked SO COOL under the purple string lights in my bedroom, which was a little +1 to my mood every time I saw it :)

Thirst (Marina Yuszczuk, trans. Heather Cleary 2024) - I think if I had to pick a favorite book from my spooktober reading, Thirst would edge Tell Me I'm Worthless out by just a hair, because I'm just SUCH a sucker for a modern gothic. this novel is split into two chunks. the first is narrated by a vampire (hinted to be one of Dracula's infamous brides) who flees the Old World and crosses the sea to find safety in a young Buenos Aires, where she struggles to figure out how to slake her thirst and escape from loneliness while avoiding detection in a modernizing world. ultimately she seals herself away in a crypt to escape the relentless pace of change around her, and that's when our perspective shifts. here we join a modern woman with a young son, an ex husband, and a dying mother, who's struggling under the pressure of grief as she watches her mother waste away. she ends up accidentally reawakening the vampire from the first half of the book, and you can imagine things get weirder from there. honestly, for me, the part of this book that's most brilliant is the latter half and it's deep meditation on grief, but the historical portion of the book also plays the vampire gothic to the hilt. delicious!

The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture (Glen Weldon, 2016) - this is a really fun piece of pop culture history, tracking how Batman came to be DC's little #1 it boy alongside the developing prominence of nerds and fandom as a cultural force to be reckoned with. as I said above, this was a reread for me, because I wanted to circle back now that I've actually read most of the major comic events discussed in the book. Weldon weaves between Batman in comics, TV, and movies to examine on how one portrayal influences another - for instance: the goofy '66 TV series saw a huge backlash in comics, which went way dark to reinforce a grim and serious Batman for 'real' fans who objected to the show making Batman a joke to much of the normie population - and I think that's a really neat lineage to trace. while I think Weldon is sometimes a bit too transparent with his own disdain for certain adaptations, he overall has an extremely levelheaded approach to Batfandom and a conversationally informative approach that I really enjoy. of particular note is the fact that Weldon is himself a gay man, making him one of the only writers I trust to talk about why he personally dislikes Joel Schmacher's movies without getting homophobic about it.

Luster (Raven Leilani, 2020) - this book!!! this was one of three novels recommended to me by Bonnie at Snowbound Books, and Bonnie if you are on this website I owe you my LIFE because you were 100% correct. I was obsessed from the very first line and it only gets better from there; Leilani's prose is painting a searing, witty Sistine Chapel to render her protagonist's miserable life in vivid color and detail. the short version is that our 23 year old hot mess finds herself jobless and homeless and ends up moving in with her married boyfriend who's 23 years her senior, where she forms a powerfully weird connection with his rage-filled wife and develops a bond with the couple's nerdy adopted daughter, as the two of them are the only Black women in the excessively white neighborhood. (spoiler alert: she also realizes that her married boyfriend is a fucking loser.) it's a simple enough premise but the execution is bananas in its flair. I couldn't believe this is Leilani's first and so far only novel; if she ever drops another I'll drag myself through barbed wire to get my hands on it.

Juniper & Thorn (Ava Reid, 2022) - I first became aware of this novel via twitter thread of Reid's that made its way to tumblr, in which Reid bemoaned being harangued by readers who were shocked that her dark fairy tale retelling had, you know, dark shit in it. having now read the book, I have to say: these people are fucking pussies. going into this book I was under the impression that there was full on-page father/daughter rape happening, which is actually NOT the case, so you can breathe easy if incest is a hard no for you. what's actually here is a wizard dad who's emotionally abusive, non-incestuous sexual abuse in the backstories of the main character and her love interest, some moderately explicit consensual sex, some bulimia, and [spoiler alert!] admittedly a lot more cannibalism than expected. it's not a lighthearted romp but it's also like, come on. come on. grow up. in terms of the actual book, rather than its controversy, I didn't LOVE it but I'm still compelled enough by the world building (particularly Jewish author Reid's Hueli people, who are a fairly obvious stand-in for Jews down to people claiming that they have horns and using phrenology to prove the have an unfair advantage at making money) that I'm going to check out Reid's earlier novel, The Wolf and the Woodsman, a novel set in the same world. it felt a little repetitive in places and the characters were largely pretty predictable, both of which may be a byproduct of trying to encapsulate the vibe of a classic fairy tale, but I had a good time reading it.

[pilfappreciator]

floyd with a bold and flirty husb male reader headcanons <333

Mans was literally tortured and almost died. LET HIM HAVE A HUBBY I SAY!!

Floyd x Reader: just an emo and his husband

Includes: Male! Reader, fluff, slight angst, depictions of marriage/domesticity, LOTS of down bad behavior (mostly on Reader's end), mentioned John Dory

💔 You guys are literally married, so chances are Floyd cares for you deeply. He's been to hell and back in the past few years so finally having someone in his life who so easily helps ease that pain by just... existing in his general area??

💔 But you're not some rabid fan who paid a fortune just to come meet him backstage so he could sign a poster. You're his HUSBAND. The two of you have HISTORY. Like he actually MARRIED your ass... there was a wedding and vows and EVERYTHING!!

💔 He's more grateful than you'll ever know <33

💔 With that being said, this man definitely gets flustered whenever you start putting the moves on him

💔 Not to say he doesn't know how to be suave and charming himself, don't get me wrong! He was in a super popular boy band back in the day, so obviously he's got SOME semblance of game going on (definitely feel like Bruce tried to teach his brothers how to bag hotties when they were younger ajshjakaak—)

💔 So yeah, he's obviously gonna react differently whenever you're the one giving him compliments lol

💔 If you're being more like? Playfully flirty?? Like as in you're coming over and leaning up against the wall beside him, giving him appreciative glances and flirting as if you've never met before???

💔 He's either gonna match your energy and reciprocate, or just sigh and roll his eyes

💔 "Hey sexy, come here often?" *bites lip*

"Please stop blocking the door to the bathroom 🙄"

💔 He'll act like he hates it he does not

💔 But he DOES hate if you smack his ass tho okay DO NOT DO IT!! He'll start having flashbacks from his Brozone days (cough cough John Dory cough cough)

💔 HOWEVER!!! If you're very genuine in your flirting? Like if you're constantly waxing poetic about how he's the most beautiful man to exist, or he catches you staring adoringly when he's trying to have a conversation with you, or he wakes up one morning to find you with the softest look in your eyes as you tell him how lucky you are to have him and how you could never be more grateful to have met????

💔 This man is turning the same shade of his hair VERY QUICKLY ALSDHLKAJDS (he might require medical attention ://)

💔 If you wanna fluster this man even more? Flirt with him in public

💔 NO CUZ LIKE?? He'll tolerate your bad pickup lines and cheesy romantic gestures in the comfort of your shared home no problem, but if you pull ANY of that shit where OTHER TROLLS CAN SEE????

💔 Screw Velvet and Veneer, call him pookie bear around any of his brothers and you're gonna be writing his obituary cuz this man WILL DIE

💔 But if you smack is ass at the farmers market you ARE getting divorced ://

💔 I feel like after the whole "being imprisoned in a diamond prison and regularly getting the life siphoned outta you for who knows how long" situation, Floyd becomes a little touch starved

💔 Maybe not in a strong sense (COUGH COUGH John Dory COUGH COUGH), but any sorta non-harmful touch definitely starts to hit different after you've been tortured for a period of time

💔 As his husband, you have a duty to hug/cuddle/caress this man as much as possible okay THAT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE!! Gently wrap your arms around him from behind as he's washing dishes, nuzzle his face when you're going to bed, rub your thumb against the back of his palm whenever you're holding hands, ANYTHING!!! He will melt <33

AHHHHH MY FAVORITE EMO!! THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT ANON THIS WAS SO CUTEE!! Floyd literally DIED in the movie okay, he deserves a husband to do troll taxes with 🥺

[centrally-unplanned]

I'ma explain the Stardew Valley fascism thing because I am bored and sometimes explaining obvious things is good for your brain. So the idea here is that "the simple country life" of farming, hanging out your small town neighbors, building an elaborate produce gift-based harem, and existing in perpetual tranquility with them is very appealing to fascist/reactionary aesthetics. Cosmopolitan urbanity is a disease, a blight upon society, sucking the spirit of the yeoman people out of their souls and blending it with degenerate races/liberals until they are too weak and dependent to fight the forces of globalism and they cope by being gay living in the pod. If the people could just return to the land, work by the sweat of their brow, they would have beautiful blond wives and their spirit/t-levels would soar to the heights God intended for us. Or whatever. So Stardew Valley is an indulgence of that fantasy by letting you reject urbanism, embrace tradition, and thus it has fascist aesthetics.

The problem here is A: what the fuck you are talking about, and also B: misunderstanding cause & effect. The appeal of farm life does not cause a fear of rootless jews queering your children outside of the most banal ways, the fears come first, the farming life is stapled on. Which you know, because everybody loves the farm life as a fantasy! Not in practice, obviously, which is why its a video game and not an agribusiness contract. But we all love the fantasy of a beautiful farm in the countryside, being one with the earth and baking rustic dinners in bronze kitchenware on hand-carved wooden tables. Since 90% of people don't take that fantasy and blame its lack of actualization in their lives on filthy immigrants, its probably not the causal factor in these things! People liking trees is not problematic because it has (virtually) no political implications without a ton of other context. Most people have more than one fantasy after all, often contradictory ones.

But if you are a political radical doing propaganda on the internet, its far more appealing to the audience (which includes yourself) if your vision is all-in, has the carrots and the sticks. For some the insane rush of a totalitarian world order wiping clean the slate of human society and re-ordering it according to your own mercurial whims is enough regardless of why, but for some (pathetic losers ofc) out there they need a little more juice, something concrete. So its married to reactionary aesthetics for the full picture, that this political order will deliver the farm life unto you. That works because, again "everybody" likes the farm life, that is way of broadening the appeal. But its neither the problem with the vision nor the cause of the political ideology. Some people who authentically like the farm life become farmers, you can just do that. Most don't, because they just wanna play a video game.

To clarify, what I am not saying is that the "reactionary aesthetics" are irrelevant and could be swapped out. My point is that instead they are universal. They are normally built out of uncontestably positive things. Those blond tradwives are hotties! Wheat is pretty and tastes good! You can't remove that from culture outside of being a fascist yourself. None of that makes fascism what it is, its all the other stuff. And when people make media out to be fascist, they are almost always bringing in from the outside 99% of the secret sauce. It is case by case of course, there is authentically authoritarian media out there. But in practice, 90%+ of these accusations are "Stardew Valley is fascist" level. Its a very silly debate to get drawn into.

[allaboutthems]

Mellodramattic Sims 4 Ideas

So, when I finally save enough money to buy a gaming PC and some Sims games, here are some ideas I have for the M's (@janaverse, this one's for you!):

Apartment in San Myshuno. I'm thinking at the ZenView. (And I'm going to use Move Objects On to shift the building over and give them and anyone else who lives at the building access to a pool.)

Basemental Drugs, so Matt can have his cigarettes and weed. Mello will also get the Seconhand Smoke Immunity trait from the rewards store.

Mello will take a career as a writer. Matt will be a pro-gamer.

They'll have a science baby together. And there's a mod that lets your Sims experience pregnancy with a science baby, instead of just rabbitholing down to the fertility clinic and coming back with a baby. So, yes, Mello's getting pregnant! And I'm going to aim for a girl, so I'll have him chow down on strawberries and listen to pop music the whole time.

WickedWhims is a must. Using the sexual orientation setting, Matt will be set to bisexual, and Mello will be set to gay.

After they have their science baby, they'll get married. Just a simple beach elopement in Sulani. (Because realistically, they'd elope; they don't have any family, and don't really have a lot of friends.) And they're spending their honeymoon there, too.

They're getting a black cat.

Matt stupidly takes on Greg and contracts werebies while visiting Lake Lunvik. Luckily, he gets a cure.

They'll meet the Simself I'm putting in San Myshuno. (I'm doing multiple Simselves for different worlds.)

Woohooing in space at GeekCon.

Woohooing in the dumpster.

Woohooing in a woohoo bush.

Woohooing in the closet.

Woohooing in the shower.

Woohooing in bed.

Woohooing in a photobooth.

Woohooing at the Copperdale Carnival.

Woohooing on Batuu.

Woohooing in the waterfall in Sulani.

Woohooing in the lighthouse at Brindleton Bay.

Using the Rambunctious Religions mod to make Mello a Worshipper of the Watcher, and Matt part of the Congregation of Nonbelievers.

Using the Stand to Pee mod so they'll autonomously pee standing up more often.

Using the Don't Wash Dishes Where You Angry Poop mod to keep them from washing dishes in the bathroom when their dishwasher's busy.

Getting Crumplebottomed in Henford-On-Bagley at the farmer's market there. (It's not their fault! Some of those vegetables were giving them Ideas!)

Both finding themselves attracted to vampire hottie Caleb. Maybe in Forgotten Hollow, but honestly, they don't really need to go there 'cause Caleb's kinda everywhere. (Taking full advantage of that sunlight immunity he comes equipped with!) So he'll pop up in San Myshuno or wherever else eventually. (Or, worst case scenario, I take matters into my own hands, load up his household, and have him visit the M's and use his Alluring Visage ability.) Will he unwittingly drive a wedge between them temporarily, or will they bond over both agreeing that he's hot AF? I haven't decided yet.

Meeting a celebrity in Del Sol Valley. Or, you know, just moseying down the street in Willow Creek, because celebrities totally do that.

Growing cacao in a planter on the balcony.

Celebrating all the holidays together.

Taking a trip to Selvadorada together.

Playing chess together.

Working on the Strangerville Mystery together, and defeating the Mother Plant. Who will they choose to help them? I haven't decided yet.

Matt, flirting with pretty mermaids in Sulani. Mello getting jealous. Matt makes it up to him, though.

Renewing their vows at the Love Festival in San Myshuno.

I haven't decided whether I want to enable aging and watch them grow old together, or disable aging (beyond manually aging up their kid) so I can play with them forever.

Turning Neighborhood Stories TF off, because that messes everything up. I'm not about to let some stupid AI break them up, or move them to a new neighborhood, or give them too many pets and/or adopted babies just because I played with other Sims.

Visiting the Sylvan Glade and/or the Forgotten Grotto.

Mello taking lots of baths with soaks, because he gets a lot of moodlets from the "High Maintenance" trait.

Going skinnydipping together.

Matt, pursuing the hidden Grilled Cheese aspiration. One of the tasks is to talk to the Grim Reaper about grilled cheese. For that, I'll find a premade Sim I don't like very much, or a random townie, cheat them dead, and then have Matt talk to Ol' Grim about grilled cheese.

Clicking on them to use "Be Gross" interactions a lot and/or having them cook Franks N' Beans. Especially Matt. Because they're just that comfortable with each other. *fart*

Got any more ideas for the M's in TS4? Let me know!

[talesoftoomanyfeels]

Me: Sun Haven's been fun, I think I'll have my farmer date Liam.

Bf: Eugh, unfortunate name. I knew I guy named Liam in high school. He ate toothpaste.

*Bf sees Liam*

Bf: Damn, who's that hotty?

Me: That's Liam.

Bf: ...Liam can eat all the toothpaste he damn wants looking like that.

[angryschnauzer]

The absolute best thing about newly discovering Bookstgram (or Booktok) is every single ‘this is how i imagine this character looks like’ reel is the book cover then BAM a photo of Henry. That Cavill dude is literally book boyfriend number 1.

Elven prince? BOOM Melot

Young Biker? BOOM Mikey

Farmer’s market hottie? BOOM Clark Kent

Spy? BOOM Napoleon Solo

Mafia Dom? BOOM August Walker

Neighbour/Boss/Friend from school who grew up? BOOM Henry himself.

Alpha pack? BOOM BOOM BOOM Walter Marshall + Captain Syverson + Geralt of Rivia. 

[m-to-z-andbackto-m]

Did I mention my phone is broken again, that means no requests can be posted yet :(

(I've been using my school laptop lmao help, this poor Chromebook has been through so much the past 3-4 years, THE CAMERA IS BROKEN??? KINDA?????)

Anyways I see YOU, that one ask I have asking for CoffeeCrops, was it? Farmer × Ccino?

Here It Is!

Well lucky for you, I have an AWESOME idea I've been tinkering with. >:)

SCENARIO: Ccino gets some of his ingredients including his coffee beans, flour, and fruit for baked goods from FarmerTale and Sans delivers it to him AND THEY DO THE BigMac × SugarBelle DEALIO HAHAHA 💕

For those of you who don't know, in MLP, BigMac keeps making frequent deliveries to a town that is fairly secluded and somewhat distant for some reason, his little sister and her friends hopped into his cart and found out he's been crushing on a baker named SugarBelle, WHO PROBABLY WAS MAKING FREQUENT ORDERS TO SEE HIM ANYWAYS and the three kids try to help him romance her against the town rizzler hottie (He's Like- A not-evil, just stupid-oblivious-to-his-fangirls Gaston-type of character)

THAT But like, ew, children.

Jkjk, I just don't imagine any kids following Farm- Actually? Maybe his Frisk would come along sometimes? And they pick up on their tension??? Kehehehe.

Honestly? Interpret this scenario however you want! Oblivious Ccino getting extra stuff from Farm, oblivious Farm getting more (Smaller) orders from Ccino (Small because too much food, too frequently = Possible food and therefore money waste sooo), both with romantic tension, lots of flustering, acting cool and COMPLETELY (Not) NORMAL, etc...

There's so many ways to go about this dynamic, it's actually so adorable! 💕

Anyways multishipping actually wins, because PLAYING WITH DYNAMICS IS THE BEEEEESSST THING EVER.

[salt-n-salt]

mmhnd HI i saw the farmer thing you're doing and i wanted to submit my funny guy.. his name is harp and he is gay married to elliott 😁😁 i am Obsessed with him :3 haven't made a proper ref sheet but i DID make sprites for him ^_^

i only know how to draw One perspective im sory

HOTTIE MCTOTTIE FARMER ALERT!!!!!!! YIPPEEEEE EVERYONE CLAP !!!

[queercontent]

Another zine I want to work on is for Billy Elliot's 25th anniversary next year. I wouldn't say this was my gay awakening, but it's certainly remained a great love given my teen obsession with Jamie Bell and how often it appeared on free-to-air television. It sits alongside But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) and Beautiful Thing (1996) as films that made me feel privileged to have grown up gay when I did.

If you've got something nerdy to say about this film, DM me with it (or add comments to a reblog) the second you finish reading.

The zine would talk about Billy Elliot's 'controversy': the debates about whether it counted as queer, and grooming allegations against Daldry for his sheer proximity to a young actor. It would also include how my crush on Jamie Bell developed over the last twenty-five years. But tbh that's all just filler. What I really want to talk about is how its big, nerdy intertextual references make it media created for us rather than a cishet audience.

First reference is from history, because why choose the 1984 miner's strike as your setting if your film had nothing to say about their contributions to Gay Liberation? Perhaps a little headcanon, but no less important to highlight this largely forgotten change in Labour's policy-making both in the UK and here in Australia.

And because we don't have a world of time, and because it was a helpful reminder when it came out, we lean on the 2014 docudrama PRIDE. This one follows Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM), who crossed prejudices to show their solidarity during the 1984 strike — going as far as holding a club fundraiser featuring Bronski Beats as their headliner.

LGSM's contributions were ultimately refused by the Miner's Union, and yet they left a lasting impression on mining communities and labour unions. LGSM were subsequently joined by hundreds of miners during Gay Pride 1985 who had by then voted to include gay and lesbian rights in their party portfolio. It was the first time a major political party in the West had committed to supporting queer rights.

Next we slide hard into Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, which premiered in 1995. This modern re-queerification of the classic ballet by gay composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky has the prince assume part of the princess's role as he pursues a mysterious Stranger (the swan). Here Bourne goes as far as to replace the entire cast of traditionally female swans with sweaty, bare-chested lads.

The 2012 capture watchable [ here ] stars homosexual hearthrob Dominic North as the forlorn prince.

Now, in Billy Elliot, Mrs Wilkinson recounts the classic tale to Billy as they listen to Swan Lake on the ferry. It's a wonderful scene where Wilkinson begins with reverence and dramatics, but ends with her usual boredom, leaving young Billy both confused and unsatisfied with the plot. To me this echoes the desire among 90s content producers to change how we told queer stories.

In Billy Elliot's closing scene, however, we see a 25yo Billy leap onto the stage as Bourne's Stranger rather than the classic princess (even nerdier than that, we see Bourne's original Stranger, Adam Cooper, playing a 25yo Billy Elliot). You realise in future screenings that the opening scene is also an homage to Bourne's Swan Lake: much as the young prince begins his story in bed, dreaming a swan hottie will save him from becoming a man; Billy begins jumping on his bed, flapping his arms, dreaming of something beyond the life he's expected to grow into.

Quick tangent via The Eagle (2011), starring Channing Tatum as Roman legionnaire Marcus and Jamie Bell as his British slave Esca. Now, do we condone slavery? Absolutely not. But we do enjoy watching Tatum and Bell get super clingy as they traip across the countryside in what has to be the most romantic bro film of all time.

Relevance to Billy Elliot? Vague. But hear me out.

The film's based on Rosemary Sutcliff's The Eagle of the Ninth (1954), which ends with Marcus settling down as a farmer with Esca and a Briton wife named Cottia who doesn't appear in the film. Subsequent novels follow the father's ring as it's passed down Marcus's bloodline, meaning they shagged down to produce an heir but implying literally nothing else.

But imagine removing Marcus's wife from the equation altogether (all women, actually), adding 'submission' to the male bonding elements of your film, reprimanding disaster bisexual Channing Tatum for suggesting it's a romance, and then expecting a professional homosexual like me to believe this doesn't count as another gay Jamie Bell movie. That's all I'm saying.

Lastly, I want to talk about Elton John co-writing the musical, and Tom Holland as the most famous Billy. I want to talk about Spanish Billies Pau Gimeno and Cristian López acting together in Paraiso (2021-22). I want to talk about Kate Mara (married to Bell) as Patty Bowes in the first season of POSE (2018-21), and her sister Rooney as Therese Belivet in Carol (2015). I want to talk about so many things.

What would YOU want to write about this film?

[theloveoftoms]

The Farmers Market - Ethan Hunt x Julia

Summary: Julia and Ethan decide to visit a local farmers market. Lots of fluff and sweet stuff <3

A/N: Hello hotties, your girl is back with a fic! This one isn't incredibly long, but I had so much fun writing it! I love Ethan and Julia so much. This story comes from a request about Ethan and Julia asked by the incredible @skinnycruise -I hope you like it! I saw that selfie of Ethan and Julia last week and I couldn't not write about them 🥹 xoxo mac

Word Count: 1.4k

With the warm breeze of May fresh upon the horizon, it seemed like spring was gracing the seaside city of Boston with longer days of sun and warmer weather. With the arrival of spring meant the arrival of another popular attraction; the farmers market.

The first weekend in May, farmers from the surrounding area of the city would bring in their vegetables and produce and set up a market in one of the downtown parks.

Standing in the kitchen, drinking a cup of warm vanilla coffee was, Julia, when the idea of the farmers market popped into her mind for no particular reason. She wasn't too sure why the idea of the farmers market popped into her mind, but the more she thought of it, she thought that it might be fun to go. Julia didn't go too often as it was much easier to just pick up groceries on the way home from the hospital after work, but having her husband back home for a while made the idea appealing to her as a fun little date that the both of them could go on.

So, when Ethan, a man who had lacked sleep for the better part of three months while he was away in Europe chasing after terrorists and criminals, caught up on his sleep, Julia brewed a fresh pot of coffee and made some eggs and toast to wake her husband up with. And while he was busy eating and waking up for the day, she retreated to their shared bedroom and put on a white and blue floral print dress that fell just below the knees. Tucked in her dark hair was a pair of white-rimmed sunglasses that matched both the sandals on her feet and the colour of her linen dress.

When she came back out into the kitchen, Ethan, who was perched on one of the bar stools around the kitchen island grinned sweetly at her like no time had passed since the two of them met, all those many years ago when they had locked eyes across a crowded room.

"You sure you wanna go out?" he asked, snaking a hand around her waist, "because i'm just fine here."

Julia chuckled and planted a gentle kiss atop of her husbands dark hair, "we need something to cook for dinner," she said, "besides, it will be fun."

Ethan nodded, linking his hand with Julia's, "give me ten and I'll be ready," he said gesturing to his outfit that composed of an old worn t-shirt and the pair of boxers he had slept in last night, "unless you want me walking around beside you like this?"

Julia rolled her eyes at her husband, and swatted gently at his bicep, sending him on his was to change.

And surely enough, when Ethan emerged back in the kitchen of their apartment wearing a black t-shirt tucked into a pair of dark jeans - his signature pair of aviators tucked within the neck of his shirt - he looked much more put together.

"All ready?" Julia asked him, smiling in his presence.

Ethan nodded, and followed his wife out to the car.

...

The Boston seaside park was transformed from its usual routine of people utilizing the trails for fitness into a venue that was surely captivating. Among the greenery of the spring-time park was countless booths, each with something different to offer.

At some there were freshly-cut flowers, at others there were handcrafted items, and at most there were some sort of produce or home-made goods.

"What are we on the look out for?" Ethan asked, noticing a booth with crochet baby slippers, all in a variety of tiny sizes with a plethora of pastel coloured yarn composing them.

"You think they have those in my size?" he asked, retracting his prior question, gesturing to the slippers.

Julia snorted as they walked past, picturing a light pink pair of slippers drawn to her husbands feet which made the woman running the booth shoot them a dirty look from across the walk way.

"What's so funny Jul?" Ethan asked, his arm draping around her shoulders.

Julia shook her head, "I was just imagining you in a pair of those," pointing to a light pink pair with a comedically large yellow duck crocheted to the toe of it.

"Please Julia," Ethan replied nonchalantly, "have some class. If you're going to day dream about me in a pair of slippers, at least imagine me in the green ones with the trains."

"Hmm," Julia hummed, trying to hide her smile, "I think the ones with the little pigs would really bring out your eyes."

Julia looked to Ethan to find that his gaze was already on her. From his place beside his wife, the nearly-blue, nearly-green, oceanic eyes of Ethan Hunt were pressed so effortlessly to her.

He noted the way she smiled, and the way the corners of her eyes crinkled ever so slightly when she laughed. He had missed this. He had missed the plain, mundane, ordinary, activities of everyday life. He had missed taking morning walks that were rooted in pleasure. He had missed Julia.

Ethan had missed the soft scent of her fragrant soap. He had missed the way her hand was always linked with his. He had missed her.

Ethan Hunt wasn't really a fan of farmers markets, but even the most ordinary of things seemed to be enough for his busy mind and constant drive whenever Julia was around.

"What do you think about these carrots?" Julia asked her husband as the two of them approached a table of hearty produce.

"I think," he said, pausing, unsure of how to really reply, "their carrots."

"They look pretty good? no?"Julia asked, "we could make a salad for dinner tonight?"

Ethan nodded, noticing a booth across the way that caught his eye. "That sounds great," he said, planting a kiss to the back of his wife's hand.

Ethan walked up with Julia to the selection of vegetables and while she was busy looking through a pile of carrots for the best ones, he saw his opportunity.

"I'll be right back," he told her, "Theres something I want to get."

So, while Julia was busy barging for the price of vegetables with a friendly farmer, Ethan was picking though a variety of flowers at one of the booths across the way.

There were tulips, roses, carnations, and other flowers alike, but none of them really seemed to capture the essence of his wife.

"Do you need any help?" the woman behind the table asked, noticing Ethan's puzzled gaze and unsureness in regards to the flowers.

"Yeah, that would be great," he replied sheepishly, "I'm not too sure which ones to get."

"Who are we shopping for?" She asked, smiling sweetly.

"My wife," Ethan said. "Ive been away for work and I want to get her something nice."

The woman smiled gently and then turned around to the buckets behind her to retrieve a bouquet of neatly wrapped irises.

"How do we feel about these?" She asked, "We just got them this morning!"

Ethan examined the beautiful, almost-sheer-like, flowers that were somehow both the perfect shade of blue and purple. These were Julia he thought to himself before nodding his head in approval.

Ethan handed the woman a twenty dollar bill and wished her a good day as he held the bouquet of flowers tightly in his hand.

By the time he got back to Julia, she was just finishing arranging the carrots and lettuce into the tote bag she had brought along with them from the car.

Looking up in Ethan's presence, Julia's eyes darted to the bouquet of flowers in his hand before meeting the eyes of her husband once more.

"Ethan?" she asked, "What's this?"

Ethan smiled, handing her the flowers, "I just wanted to do something nice for my wife."

Julia smiled, bringing the bouquet of flowers close to her chest, "they're beautiful Ethan!" she gushed, "I love you, " she told him, stepping forward, closing the distance between the two of them.

Naturally, his hands found their way around her waist, and before his lips pressed to hers in a kiss that was gentle and sweet, he repeated the words back to her.

"I love you."