#this fandom has one brain cell and it gets passed around to a fan of a different ship each time

[palpietine-1]

Probably the funniest thing that could occur when you're following those tags.

[buckybarnesss]

I was literally thinking about all the fics where Stiles is like "and then Derek pushed me around 🥺" like... Derek did the steering wheel thing because Stiles made him STRIP FOR A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY.

I started to read an article that opened up by criticizing the "physically abusive sterek ship" and backed out immediately, like you people need to remember that the show exists and that is not based in reality.

Pack mom Stiles.... gah. Stiles would never help Isaac with his homework. Derek would!! But Stiles? Hell no.

Stiles is literally a fucking creep. He walks around telling everyone that he loves Lydia. He has no boundaries. I love him that way. He's a snarky little asshole who would definitely just show up in Derek's apartment one day and Derek would be like "how did you get in here?" And then Stiles reveals that he pretended to be a doordash driver with a delivery and then picked the lock on Derek's front door.

fun fact my url before this one was creeperderek. i am fond of that url. he of loitering at tree lines and creepily disappearing into shadows in the boy's locker room for no fucking reason.

stiles does have a lack of boundaries and really intense anxiety about the people he cares about.

he listens to the police scanner regularly and monitors his father's diet due to his intense, almost uncontrollable anxiety about his father. he's terrified his dad will die and has an intense fear it will because of him.

all of that of course stems from his mother's death when he was so, so young and how claudia in her cognitive decline blamed stiles and accused him of trying to kill her.

this anxiety also extends to scott and melissa to various degrees due to their significance to the stability of his life for so long and why he's irrationally scared to tell his father the truth despite knowing if the sheriff understood what was really happening it would help more than hinder.

than there's other things like how he has a copy to the key to the mccall house that melissa isn't aware of and it's made pretty clear that stiles took the imitative. scott didn't give it to him.

scott doesn't seem all that bothered by this but scott is one of the few people who knows and mostly understand stiles. they live in each other's pockets. scott would be oddly touched but also be like bro what in the fuck? because really, stiles what the fuck?

people find that fucking weird and creepy.

it truly wouldn't surprise me at all if stiles had a copy of the loft key and derek knew he did and said nothing about it because these two are weird little freaks that probably have frequently creeped on each other.

we do get indications they speak outside of what we're shown. two little maladjusted bastards sharing one brain cell to creep on each other.

if stiles showed up in derek's loft derek probably wouldn't even be surprised. in fact he'd tell stiles he took longer than expected, peter did it better and he sucked.

it's so funny that fandom developed the idea that derek sneaks into stiles's bedroom all the time via the window and we literally never see this. it never canonically happens. though it's not said how derek got inside in wolf's bane so maybe a window but frankly i find it more plausible derek just, you know, broke in the house via a door.

putting a read more on this because i had a lot to say lol

stiles and lydia. ooh boy.

sentiment within fandom swayed a lot on these two and i've seen the common argument that sterek fans don't like stydia as a paring because it's not gay, or something to which i say lol no. i, personally, don't ship them romantically because for like 2 seasons stiles didn't see her as person and she mostly ignored his entire existence.

he fixated on lydia in the 3rd grade which would've been around the time claudia declined and than passed away. he held onto that crush tightly, put lydia on a pedestal making her more into an ideal than a person.

there's moments where we see them genuinely connect but there's so many scenes between the two of them until like season 3 that are cringe and uncomfortable. my main issue is that lydia never really says much about it either.

it's like until she becomes a real girl to stiles her position doesn't matter even when we see her be uncomfortable or weirded out around stiles.

we actually do see stiles and derek develop boundaries with each other. stiles uses derek to literally queerbait danny in wolf's bane. both derek and danny seem to realize this as it occurs and derek pointedly, purposefully retaliates with violence which isn't great but it makes it clear that derek is not okay with what stiles did and a line had been crossed. s2 has derek also indicate to stiles it's not okay to touch without permission.

remember the finger tippy taps stiles's gives derek when boyd dies? that's stiles having learned derek's physical boundaries over 3 seasons so that he is able to offer him comfort in a awful, terrible moment.

in conclusion derek and stiles aren't abusive and it's odd people latched onto that idea. they're abrasive assholes to each other and lack boundaries in the beginning because their maladjusted people for various reasons while also just being two little freaks about each other.

[likedbyuarmyhope]

I’ve been a BTS fan since 2015-2016 (I forget) I’m so thankful I left TWITTER (I refuse to ever call it by it’s new name) 3 years ago (I was thinking of leaving even a year before that) back then you could already see the utter shīt show it was becoming. It started becoming an embarrassment to call myself an Army (not because of BTS but the behavior of the fandom). Tumblr is a relatively smaller platform for the fandom mostly older fans so it was never that bad here. Unfortunately the cesspool Army is finding its way here and fūcking it up now. I’m hoping we can all collectively come together (the ones with actual brain cells and common sense) to get rid of these ašs hats. I’m not about to let them ruin it here too like they have literally EVERY SINGLE PLATFORM there is. Sadly the toxic ones are the loudest and ruin everything. Everything we spent YEARS putting together and requesting has gone up in flames because of them. And like you said they definitely do not care they don’t listen to the members, they don’t read things, they don’t watch actual things with them having serious conversations, it’s all superficial and shallow with them. Pardon my language but they’re all fake as fūck using BTS to just boost their egos to say OMG my group paved the way OMG MY group did this and that. They’re like hipsters (derogatory). I miss the early days those were more peaceful and real and easier to take down all the toxic fans. I feel like when BTS says Army they mean the non-toxic ones especially when they’ve spoken about how the Armies they love are respectful and don’t step over their boundaries and “fans” would know that if they actually paid attention to what the members themselves have said with their own mouths. One of them literally had a whole video on how they should behave and be kind and respectful and they didn’t f——ing listen! So disappointed but not surprised.

honestly yeah. pretty much all of this. like i said there's always been issues with certain factions of armys being bigots, at least ever since i joined the fandom in 2017, but i feel like around 2020-21 when there was a massive influx of new fans (who didn't know anything about kpop or the context surrounding bts's entire history, weren't there for some of the most pivotal moments in bts's career and who only know about what bts experienced in both the korean and western music industries through passed down stories from other people who weren't there) is when it all truly went to shit. since then you really can't escape it and the last few months with the insane backlash to the hybe boycott and really the entire fucking scooter braun situation have exposed the absolute ugliest sides of these people. but there definitely is a not-insignificant number of pre-2020 armys who are like this too, there's a ton of factors that have gone into the enabling of morally reprehensible behavior in this fandom over the years and it would take all day to list them out

[golbrocklovely]

this is no disrespect to either of you three anons, so please don't feel like this is me trying to be a bitch.

but oh my GOD i don't care lol

i'll just say everything i feel about this here and then be done with it.

ms singer was a girl colby went on a few dates with, and was done "dating" her by like halloween or a little bit after. he didn't even know malia until sam's bday, so it's not like he left ms singer for her. ms singer herself has said she's on good terms with colby and that she has no hard feelings for malia, it's katelyn she has issues with.

colby unfollowing her on her bday was not done maliciously. he just unfollowed her, most likely, bc he has unfollowed every girl he either a, dated/had a fling with or b, found hot. shock and awe to absolutely no one, she falls into that category.

but also she's STILL talking about her beef with katelyn. and look, she has every right to talk about it as long as she wants to. i'm not here to say she can't vent. but let's be real for two seconds: first and foremost, fans are egging this on and we all know that. anyone that wants to argue otherwise is just plainly ignoring what is happening. ppl go on her tiktok lives just to ask her about katelyn so she can start complaining about her yet again. and the only reason fans want more tea on katelyn is bc they hate her bc she's not kat. full stop, full transparency, that's why that's happening. yall don't like tess; you just like that she gives you tea on a girl you hate bc she maybe once shaded kat when in reality if you have more than one brain cell you would know that's not what she did. stop being so up kat's ass that you think everyone is out to get her.

and secondly, tess can complain - sure. but she is talking about real ppl that are now dealing with real hate. it's the whole fuck around and find out method. keep talking shit on someone, and someone close to them (ie colby) is gonna stop fucking with you. why is this a surprise to anyone?

and i'm not here to say that katelyn is innocent. don't mistake me for that. i'm just saying, if katelyn was a shitty friend to her, then that's a shame. but the beef is very much between the two or them, and not us. stop egging it on for content reasons, or for twitter threads, or for whatever weird reason yall try to justify in your head this all for.

not only this, but colby and ms singer only dated MAX a month, but i don't even think that's the case fully. they went on a couple dates and stayed cordial. some of these fans are acting like he blocked his bestie or something. they remained friendly with one another bc things didn't end badly between them. they don't have to have loyalty towards one another, that includes colby. this isn't some betrayal. he unfollowed bc he's taken now, and she's still talking about his best friend's gf. it's really that simple.

dear god, all of this is such hs drama bs and i'm so tired of hearing about it, honestly. i'm too old to go back to my hs self who would have throughly enjoyed this drama. but seriously, can we find literally anything else to talk about??? i'm actually begging at this point.

and colby didn't unfollow ms singer bc malia told him to. he did it bc he wanted to. he's a grown man, as many on twitter love to point out every time he does something they deem as childish. why do you think this is any different?

also, sam and kat pretended to be besties after the break up. let's be real here. there clearly was some awkward tension left between them, but if they told the fandom they were going no contact and never talking again except maybe in passing, ww3 would have started. so they remained cordial to be appease fans (and probably themselves in one way or another). and realistically, kat probably made sam unfollow her (by blocking him/muting him/removing him as a follower) bc the day she did that was after pics of him and katelyn leaked from new years. realistically she probably wasn't thrilled about that and needed some space. it also didn't help that the khakis personified that is sam golbach decided to like a tweet that she made saying how nice her spotify top five looked without the "take a look at my bf" song, which CLEARLY WAS ABOUT HIM. he got his ass blocked after that, and rightfully so lmao

i would like to request - respectfully to all anons going forward - to stop bringing up ms singer, shea, and stas. hell, throw kat in there too. i don't care enough about any of them to hear what's happening about them. i'm tired of talking about them. some of them i've been talking about for years, i've said my piece on them countless times, and i just want something else to talk about. bc it's always the same stories over and over again and i just cannot care about it any longer.

also, since i might as well throw this in too, if you genuinely think snc are malicious in any compacity - STOP WATCHING THEM. why are you here if you genuinely think colby is a slutty manwhore who fucks anything that moves and is malicious and a shitty friend and whatever other random nonsense you think he is?? why are you here if you think sam is a terrible boyfriend who's also a bit of creep and has as shitty gf and again, whatever random other shit you believe???? why are you here???? you don't like snc anymore, and yet you waste your time talking about them. what you really like is the tea that comes from them and the ppl they have surrounded themselves with. i implore you to log off and find a hobby or a content creator you ACTUALLY like.

(also none of this was really directed at yall. more so the fandom et large. sorry if it felt like i was yelling at you guys. wasn't what i was trying to do here lol)

[archived-kin]

arcade date with levi (with a twist)

note from kin: the twist is that, rather than just meeting up and going to an arcade for a date, you and levi are actually characters from two different games in the arcade that come to life at night and go on cute romantic hijinks together! (wreck-it-ralph au essentially)

you, simeon, and luke are from a battle game, levi and his brothers are from a side scrolling platformer, solomon is the tutorial dude in an experimental alchemy game, diavolo is the owner of the arcade, and barbatos is the janitor! your character’s costume is basically the same as caesar’s from jojo’s bizarre adventure, and you’re kind of the pseudo-leader of your game’s characters

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, leviathan, luke, simeon, lucifer, solomon

pairing(s): levi/reader

warning(s): guns, non-descriptive injury

genre: fluff

“Lights out!”

You cheer and hop out of your character selection box, stretching out your cramped limbs, then sitting down with a huff. Beside you, Simeon falls out onto the floor in a tangled heap of cape.

“Thank goodness,” He sighs, turning around and lying flat on his back. “Is it just me, or were our patrons picking me far more than usual today…?”

Luke carefully slides out of his own box, landing neatly on his feet with a little flourish. “Yeah, normally [Name]’s the crowd favourite…”

“It’s all those new promotional posters, I bet,” You hum, pulling off your headband and fanning yourself with one hand. “Seems like Diavolo’s really been pushing the angel series lately.”

“I wouldn’t call it a series,” Simeon says, chuckling slightly as he undoes his fancy cape. “There’s only two of us, after all.”

“Well, you’re the only ones out of us who actually have a theme between them,” says another one of your fellow fighters, taking off his hat and twirling it around a finger. “Anyway - [Name], shouldn’t you be going off to meet that loverboy of yours soon?”

“Oh, right!” You jump to your feet, dusting off your pants. Then you pause, raising your hands to pat at your face. “Wait, do my triangles look okay?”

“Your triangles look fine,” Simeon sighs, reaching over and tapping fondly at the little patches of paint on your cheek. “They always do.”

“Alright!” You adjust your scarf and throw the ends over your shoulder, tying your headband around your wrist. “I’ll be off, then! You guys know the drill, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, boss,” calls one of the younger fighters, hunched over in front of his box and scratching restlessly at the tip of his nose. “Not like we haven’t been doing it every day.”

“Don’t get cheeky,” You scold, but give his pompadour an affectionate pat on your way past anyway. It feels almost concerningly solid beneath your touch. “I’ll be back before morning!”

Your fellow fighters give a collective murmur of assent that’s abruptly cut off as you open the network door and hop into a wire. You’ve gone on this path so many times that it’s practically muscle memory at this point - six sections ahead, then to the left twice, a right at the purple junction, and then another four sections forwards.

The Tale of the Seven Lords’s network door is already open when you jump out of the wire, and the first thing you see when you poke your head in is Lucifer polishing one of the transport tubes used to get between levels. He’s discarded the fancy coat that he has to wear all the time as part of his character costume, and you don’t blame him - you couldn’t imagine even just running for five minutes or so with that one, let alone jumping about and punching at things for about fifteen minutes at a time, often longer.

“Lovely evening, Lucifer,” You greet brightly. He pauses in his work for a moment, then turns to look at you.

You’ve never gotten the feeling that he particularly likes you, but you’ve been trying your best to stay on his good side - after all, one must need the eldest’s blessing to date one of their younger brother. And your efforts must have paid off, too, because the corner of his mouth actually lifts slightly when he sees you grinning at him around the side of the door.

“[Name],” He says with a nod. “Levi’s up on Level Six.”

“Right!” You skip inside and shut the door behind you. “Good day?”

“About as good as it can get, I suppose,” He sighs, and you silently cheer. Willing small talk - that’s progress! “Most of our players for today picked either Belphie or Satan, so I got to take a break of sorts.”

You’ll never understand why some of characters in this arcade dislike actually being played so much - after all, isn’t that your entire purpose? Still, if Lucifer’s happy about not being picked, you’ll be happy for him as well. “That’s good!”

“Indeed,” He says, allowing a rare proper smile. He pulls back from the transport tube. “Up you go, then. Levi’s been restless all day - excited, no doubt.”

“He’s so cute,” You coo, adjusting your headband around your wrist to make sure it doesn’t slip off. “We go on dates all the time, but he’s still just as enthusiastic every time.”

“As Asmo likes to say, I suppose that each date should be just as exciting as the first,” Lucifer says evenly as you hop up into the transport tube, taking care not to get the freshly-polished metal grubby. “At any rate… Levi seems to be happy. So I suppose you must be doing something right.”

“What a wonder, right?” You reply with a laugh, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I’ll have him back before first light. Promise.”

“If you say so,” He says dryly, and stands back as the transport tube sends you up.

Just as Lucifer said, Levi is bustling about on Level Six, accompanied by Belphie, who’s having a whale of a time snoozing on one of the platforms and letting his brother do all the work restocking the power-up bricks. Levi abruptly straightens up as soon as you pop out of the transport tube, as if he can sense your presence immediately, and turns to see you waving happily up at him.

His face immediately lights up, and he hops down from the brick he’s standing on with a goofy jump sound effect, landing beside you with a slightly wobbly grin. Slightly out of breath, he greets, “Hi.”

“Hi,” You repeat back to him, kissing his cheek. From up on his platform, Belphie makes an exaggerated retching noise.

Levi absent-mindedly chucks an inactive supersize star behind him at the sound, and it hits Belphie directly in the forehead with a high-pitched ping, sending him toppling backwards off the platform. Luckily, fall damage isn’t programmed into this game, so he lands on his back with nothing but his pride hurt.

“Ready to go?” You ask, disregarding the rather thunderous-looking brother behind your partner. Levi nods eagerly.

“Yeah! Belphie can take the rest of my bricks. He’s barely done anything so far.”

“It’s not my fault so many people picked me today,” Belphie groans, getting up and catching the rest of the power-ups that Levi tosses his way. “I’m tired…”

“You’re always tired,” Levi replies, shaking his head. “Get Beel to do it if you’re so desperate to sleep.”

“Maybe I will,” is Belphie’s final retort before you and Levi disappear back down the transport tube.

Passing Lucifer at Level One again, the two of you slip out through the network door and hop into the wires. Your destination today is the Suspect Sorceror’s abode - one of your regular date spots, and one of your particular favourites.

Despite the fact that the two of you see each other pretty much every day as soon as it’s lights out, there’s always a fresh kind of thrill to the prospect of spending time with Levi, no matter how much you do. It’s kind of like your heart grows wings every time you’re around him - you can’t help but feel all light and fluttery inside.

You’ve never felt this way about anyone - heck, you didn’t even know it was possible for you to feel like this! Every character in this arcade is programmed with a set personality that’s simply impossible to break away from. In some cases, some characters are reduced to such one-dimensional traits that they can only ever respond to anything with one of a predictable and very limited number of possible reactions.

Incidentally, your code has established you as a rather boisterous and confident person who doesn’t always think before they punch, while Levi’s has always dictated him as rather self-conscious and insecure, but passionate about his interests. Neither of you have ever been programmed with anything close to the sort of AI that would be required for you to develop your own feelings separate of your codes - and yet, somehow, you have.

You’ve never pretended to understand your own existence. You’ve not very smart, after all; where your programmers gave you excellent fighting spirit and leadership skills and an unwavering sense of determined justice, they seem to have forgotten to give you very many brain cells. Even so, you’re fully aware of the impossibility of the nature of yours and Levi’s relationship.

Still, your philosophy has always been that worrying about the little things never benefits anyone in the long run. Well, this might not be a little thing, but if there’s anything you’re good at, it’s goofing off to avoid getting too dismal.

You hop out of the wire as soon you’ve reach your destination, landing neatly on your feet with your arms spread wide in a rather flamboyant flourish. Levi scrambles to follow suit, but loses his balance on his way out and immediately starts heading directly for the floor; you quickly dart forward and catch him by the arms.

Levi’s panicked eyes dart up to meet your own, and before you’re even fully aware of what you’re doing, you deftly lift him into the air and give him a smooth twirl, then set him on solid ground once more. His knees immediately nearly give out beneath him, and you have to reach forward to catch him again before he takes a tumble.

“Wh-wh-wh—” Levi’s entire face is a bright, burning red. You’re pretty sure you can actually see smoke coming out of his ears. “You— huh?”

It’s just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen; you can’t help but lean forward to plant a kiss on the very tip of his nose. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to have been the right move, because Levi immediately goes stock still, then abruptly slaps his hands to his face.

“You alright?” You ask, crouching down with him as he slowly sinks down to the ground, practically steaming. You can’t help but laugh, feeling a little bad for flustering him so much. “Caught you off-guard, huh? Sorry.”

Levi shakes his head silently, then finally pulls his hands away from his face. His blush has calmed somewhat - it had been so aggressive that it almost looked like a rash before, but now it’s more of a sort of reddish dust - and he’s looking you in the eyes again.

“Y-y-you can’t just do stuff like that out of nowhere,” He says finally, leaning forward and dropping his forehead on your shoulder. “I have to prepare myself first…”

“Aw, that’s no fun,” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and rock him back and forth slightly. “You'll get used to it eventually!”

“You’re going to give me a heart attack,” He mumbles into the sleeve of your jacket, though you do notice that he’s deliberately pressing himself closer to you. “Well, you would if I had a heart.”

“You’re so cute,” You chuckle, pressing another kiss to the crown of his head. “C’mon, we’ve still got a date to finish!”

You give Levi another five minutes or so to get his face back to its usual colour and calm himself down, and he’s pretty much back to normal by the time the two of you step hand-in-hand into Solomon’s little alchemy hut - you with a wide grin on your face and him with a slightly shaky smile. Unfortunately, it seems that date night isn’t going to be going smoothly today, because Solomon is currently being held at gun-point by a character you’ve never seen before.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” crows the strange little man, brandishing one of his two revolvers in yours and Levi’s direction. You instinctively step in front of your partner, steeling your fists in case you need to fight. “Two lovebirds, is it?”

“Evening,” Solomon greets, not looking in the least bit fazed by the barrel he’s currently staring down.

“Who's this?” You ask in reply.

Solomon sighs and leans forward on his counter, ignoring the threatening click of the gun that the little man has pointed at him. “He’s from that shoot-em-up game a couple consoles down. No idea why he’s decided to show up here.”

You wrinkle your nose, reaching behind you to give Levi a reassuring tap on the arm before stepping forward. The little man watches you cautiously, keeping one gun carefully trained directly on your head.

“Your bullets aren’t going to work on me,” You say matter-of-factly. “I haven’t been programmed to take damage when a bullet hits me.”

“Won’t work on you, eh?” He raises an eyebrow. “How about your beau over there?”

You narrow your eyes. “He isn’t any of your business.”

Of course, you know full well that Levi’s game features projectiles that he certainly takes damage from, and while you don’t know if that extends to bullets from this man’s guns, you don’t want to risk it. You, on the other hand, have only ever taken damage from the punches and kicks your fellow fighters throw at you - or the beams of light Simeon and Luke shoot for their respective ultimates.

The man grins, and you note that he’s missing one of his front teeth. “So you won’t mind if I just fire a little bit at him—”

Your arm shoots forward before you even fully register it, and the man careens backwards with a cry as your fist lands directly in his face. The gun he’d been raising to point at Levi clatters to the floor and lets out a shot into one of the walls; Solomon winces.

“You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you?” You scowl, striding forward and planting a foot on the little man’s stomach. He struggles under your boot’s heel, cursing. “First you spoil our date, and now you’re threatening my partner. You’re really starting to piss me off.”

“If you’re going to start a fight, take it outside,” Solomon intervenes, shaking his head. “I’ve got far too many glass bottles in here to risk letting you have a battle in here.”

“Doesn’t matter where I fight as long as I get a good punch in,” You smirk, folding your arms across your chest slightly and glaring down at the man as he scrabbles at your boot, attempting to wrench it off of him. “So, what’ll it be? Either you get your guns and scram, or we can brawl right here and now.”

The man responds by reaching to grab the gun he’d been aiming at Solomon earlier and firing a shot at your face. You jerk back in surprise, foot lifting, and he immediately scrambles out from beneath your foot, pointing up at you with a gleeful laugh.

“See how you like that!” He exclaims. “Not so cocky now, huh?”

You slowly reach up to press your fingers to where the bullet struck you, directly in the forehead. Solomon raises an eyebrow, while Levi calls out your name frantically, stepping forward with his hands outstretched.

You shake your head as the man laughs, holding up a hand to stop Levi. “Stay there. I’ve got this under control.”

“Huh?” The man’s grin fades as you pass your hand over the hole, only for it to be gone when your hand moves away. “What the—?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” You ask, looming over him as he frantically attempts to back away. He gulps, fumbling with his gun, but before he can try to fire another round, you knock the gun out of his hand with a swift punch. “Your bullets don’t work on me, pal.”

He turns as if to run, but your leg immediately darts out to trip him, and he tumbles forward onto the boards of Solomon’s hut with a muffled yell. This time you plant your foot directly on his neck, setting a single hand on your hip.

“I’m only going to say this once,” You begin, staring him dead in the eyes. “So listen up - got it?”

The man attempts to protest, but your heel only presses harder into his throat, and he has no choice but to give his gurgled assent. You smile, but it’s a menacing expression.

“This game is under my protection,” You say firmly. “You don’t come in here and start threatening to shoot up the place - and you most definitely don’t point the gun at my partner. Got it?”

He gurgles again. You nod in satisfaction. “Then we’re all in understanding here. Now scram.”

You lift your foot, and he immediately fumbles to get to his feet. You stay on your toes, prepared for him to attempt to go for his guns again, but he only gives you one last terrified look before turning and booking it out the door, tail between his legs.

You stare after him at the swinging door. The hut is silent for a moment more.

Finally, Levi says, eyes wide, “I think that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

[puddygeeks]

𝑾𝒂𝒓 𝑶𝒇 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 - 𝑪𝒓𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒅 𝒙 𝑶𝑪 - 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 8: 𝑮𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑶𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: 𝐴𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑝 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑓𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠. 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐵𝐴𝑈 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦, 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡.

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

Status: Ongoing

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑑𝑢𝑙𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑤𝑖𝑡��� 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑤. 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑢𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑏𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 & 𝑠𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐵𝐴𝑈'𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘. 𝐼𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑑, 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤.

Eᴘɪsᴏᴅᴇ: Pʀᴇ Sᴇᴀsᴏɴ 1

Chapter Eight

“You know, it’s remarkably similar to Brighton Pier here.” I commented, fanning myself in desperation under the scolding sun and Ricky pushed his large sunglasses down to allow me to feel the full force of his judgement. “Well, except that it’s unmistakably hotter, obviously.”

“How dare you compare this beautiful sandy bliss to your pebble filled nightmare?” He remarked with a sweeping hand gesture at the beach, before sipping out of his straw with offence and I rolled my eyes at him.

Ricky has always been a force to be reckoned with, but as he got older, he only grew more confident and I was constantly inspired by how comfortable he was in himself. His thick brunette hair reached his collarbones now, but he currently had it pushed back out of his face with a colourful bandana so that he could tan. In order for him to worship the sun to his full capacity, he was wearing a worryingly small pair of shorts and had stretched himself across a lounger like the diva that he absolutely was.

“Hmm. Your actual beach is better, I’ll give you that one. But you’re seriously lacking on drag queens, quirky cafes and fancy boutiques to shop in.” I pointed out, fondly recalling the whirlwind weekend that we’d spent in the British city the last time that he’d visited me and he shrugged in defeat.

“Touché. You win this round.” He admitted, laying back to bask himself again, whilst I shuffled my sensitive skin further under the sun umbrella that he’d reluctantly agreed to allow me to bring over on the condition that it didn’t cause a single shred of shade over him.

It was a beautiful day, only improved by the quality of my company and I had to admit that I was endlessly pleased to have decided to extend my stay for another few days. Despite the years that had passed since we had last been in each other's physical company, Ricky was still able to put me at ease in a way that no one else had ever been able to emulate and I cherished the opportunity to simply relax with him at the Virginia Boardwalk.

“So, what’s it like being an FBI agent?” Ricky asked, turning his attention back to me with a smug expression. “Is it wonderful knowing that you have the power to stop anyone in their tracks? I would absolutely abuse my power for evil, but I know you’re too pure for that.” He muttered with delight and I chuckled at him knowingly. The things that he would use an FBI badge to accomplish didn’t even bear thinking about.

“Darling. I already told you. I’m not an FBI agent. I’m still a technical analyst for Interpol. I’m just on loan.” I repeated, already losing count of how many times I had made this distinction, but he still seemed as unconvinced by this as he was the first time that I told him.

“Oh, semantics! Sounds to me like you’re working for them and considering that you saved a girl from a burning building like a freaking hero, I’m just going to treat you like one.” He argued, seeming amused as if I were simply downplaying things, when realistically, it was a case of him dramatising the arrangement, as he did with most things. “We have an FBI agent in the family. That’s pretty cool.”

“There is absolutely no reasoning with you.” I groaned, shaking my head in embarrassment and he shrugged dismissively, as if this were an obvious fact that I should have accepted already. “How’s university going? Have you sorted your accommodation for your second year yet?”

“College is going fine. I’ve done a fantastic job being the life of the party, so I have plenty of offers for people to live with. My only struggle is choosing people who aren’t completely filthy as housemates. I can’t live in a grubbly little student hovel.” He explained, seeming repulsed by the very idea and I raised a brow at his diva attitude. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not being dramatic. My first year in dorms, I shared a bathroom with straight men. You don’t understand the trauma that I’ve lived through.”

“Does your mother know that you haven’t arranged housing yet?” I interrogated, already sensing a hint of dishonesty in him and his features quickly contorted into a guilty look. “Rituparan! I understand being picky, but you’ll end up with no choice other than to live with the grimy jocks if you don’t hurry up. You need to get organised.” I scolded, earning an eye roll so severe that I worried his face might never recover from the strain.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Alley Cat. I’ll get it sorted. Now, drink your mocktail before it gets too diluted.” He ordered, sipping down the last of his drink and placing the little umbrella from the top in his hair with a flourish. The moment that he faced me, I knew that he had mischief in mind.

“Okay. Are you ready? Who am I?” He pouted so dramatically that his cheeks all but disappeared and I almost choked on my drink.

“Oh, too easy! That is the unforgettable Lola, the only woman on the planet who considers a cocktail umbrella the perfect hair accessory for any occasion.” I answered, earning a cheer and wicked laugh of satisfaction from him. “You know, I love having someone else to mock dad’s exes with. You’d think the fact that he only dates women my age would mean we’d have something in common, but alas, apparently a sense of humour isn’t shared by age group.”

“Of course they’re not funny! The only thing those girls come with is a price tag.” He sassed, flipping his hair back out of his face in a ridiculously bitchy gesture and I was immediately reminded of just how much I loved him. “At least you don’t have to pretend to like Tanya anymore. Honestly, if she had a second brain cell, she’d be dangerous.”

“Oh, no! They broke up?” I gasped, almost sounding convincing with my upset and he whipped his head around with drastic confusion. “I guess she had to bleed my dad dry of pocket money eventually.” I drawled, prompting a small yelp of surprise and a quick high five from Ricky.

Tanya had been dating my dad for just over six months now, so I knew that she was likely to be approaching her expiration date soon. His routine was well known amongst the entire family now and in an effort to counter the embarrassment that it caused for my mother and I, it had become a running joke for us all to share.

“Didn’t you hear the details?” Ricky crooned, turning to face me fully on his lounger with a devious expression and I shrugged nonchalantly. “According to Maji, she tried to charge her lip fillers to his business credit card. Caused all sorts of uproar at the office. I guess she’ll be making that duck face at someone else’s wallet now.” He divulged, pouting into an exaggerated model face for effect and I struggled not to splutter my drink everywhere in response.

Ricky’s mother always seemed to know everything that was happening in our family and I’d long believed that this was where he’d learned to dig information out of people. She was abnormally gifted in guilt tripping the truth out of even the most hardened family members and yet, she doted on Ricky as if he was the very thing that made her world turn. If I ever wanted to know what was going on in my dad’s life, I knew that I could rely on her to be up to date with events.

Before I could manage to recover enough to speak, my mobile rang with it’s sharp tone and I had to clamber around in my bag to find it. As soon as I saw the private number, my eyes grew wide in dread.

“Oh, no! The bat phone?” Ricky asked, seeming genuinely horrified that I might be called into work and I quickly nodded, before holding a finger to my lips to shush him.

“Agent Hawthorne.” I answered, feeling utterly ridiculous referring to myself this way in my current company. This insecurity was only made worse by Ricky sliding his shades back on in a judgemental manner and I gestured to him to stop distracting me.

“Alice. This is Hotch. Are you still in Virginia?”

The voice on the other end of the phone was as serious as ever and though I was enormously relieved to find that it wasn’t anyone from Interpol trying to order me home, I felt nerves building in my chest already.

“Yes, Sir. I am.” I reported, noticing Ricky raising his brows at me in interest and I knew that he was dying to know what was being said.

“I realise that you’re spending time with family, but would you be able to come into the office for a meeting? I have a matter that I would like to discuss with you in person, if possible.” Hotch requested, allowing me absolutely no hint of the cause for this meeting and I felt my face change into one of alarm.

My mind had already begun racing with all of the possible complications that I could be facing for my actions at the base now that all of the documentation for the case had been submitted and I was terrified that if any further charges were brought against me, they could contradict the deal that I made with Interpol to avoid imprisonment.

“Yes, Sir. I’ll come in right away.” I stuttered, attempting to fight down my terror. My hands shook with nerves as I hung up on the call and Ricky looked positively thrilled to have been given the opportunity to witness this conversation, as if he’d just been personally included in a matter of national security.

“It’s a good thing that you went for virgin cocktails, my dear. I have to get back to Quantico.” I confessed, quickly burying my nerves so that he wouldn’t sense trouble.

“Oh my god! This is so exciting!” He announced, hopping straight to his feet and flustering to grab his belongings that were spread across every surface around him. “One cab for Agent Hawthorne, coming right up!”

--⥈--

Outfit: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/460070918191621506/

Standing in the lift of the Quantico building, I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I had been in such a rush to get here that it hadn’t even crossed my mind to change clothes, or to do anything to prepare my appearance at all. Though I knew that I didn’t have any more office clothes with me anyway, I acknowledged that I could at least have found something that provided a little more coverage and didn’t leave me feeling so exposed.

The idea of walking through an office where everyone was dressed smartly, wearing a white floral mini dress was an absolute nightmare and I realised that I only had a few minutes to make any changes. All I could think to do was to untie my waist length hair, shaking it out to at least cover some of my arms and attempting to make it look styled.

The doors opened to reveal a full office, with most of the team present at their desks and I gulped nervously. My dress felt as if it had actually shrunk in size since the beach now that I would be seen in it by people that I had worked with and I had to remind myself that I had bigger things to worry about with being called to come here than my attire.

JJ’s heels clicked on the polished floor as she entered the reception, her professional appearance clashing horribly with the casual style of my low top converses and I tried not to feel intimidated.

“Alice! I know that I said we wanted to see you again soon, but this is a little crazy.” She breezed as she approached me with a warm smile and I tried to force myself to relax. “Hotch is just finishing a call and he’ll be out to meet you.” She explained, before her gaze fell onto my outfit and I felt myself physically become stiff under her scrutiny. “You look pretty!”

“Oh, thanks. I was just on the beach. I’ve already worn all of my work clothes so, um, this is all I have?” I offered, shifting awkwardly and she smiled sympathetically at me.

“We’ve all been called in at unexpected times. I was literally collected from home in my pajamas once. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” She soothed, leaning closer to me as she spoke so that no one would overhear my concern and I let out a long breath in relief.

“Besides, I know that Hotch is just going to appreciate you being able to come in at such short notice. I hope you got to enjoy at least a little bit of your time off before we intruded?” She asked with an honest concern in her eyes and just as I opened my mouth to see if she could give me even the slightest hint of what to expect, Hotch stepped into the room.

“Alice. Thank you for coming so quickly.” He stated in his usual serious manner, reaching straight to shake my hand and I complied immediately, forcing a smile through my nerves. “I’ll try not to take up too much of your time. Let’s talk in my office.” He offered, opening the glass doors to the main office for me and I stepped through hesitantly.

Within approximately two steps of entering the space, I could already feel eyes on me and tried not to allow myself to be unnerved by the attention. The anxious voice in the back of my mind screamed that I was the most inappropriate looking member of staff to ever enter this office, but I forced myself to keep my head held high as Ricky had always preached.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Spencer was watching me from his desk as if he’d been stopped in his tracks and I waved subtly at him, prompting him to hurriedly do the same back in a fluster. Morgan passed Hotch distractedly, before he noticed that I was following him with obvious surprise.

“Looking good, Poppins. Welcome back.” He muttered as he squeezed beside me, sneaking a charming smile and thanks to the combined warmth of the two men, once again I felt my nerves beginning to settle slightly.

Hotch encouraged me to take a seat in his office, before closing the door behind us and I felt as if I couldn’t think straight in the silence that followed. He settled into the seat opposite me, knitting his hands together on the desk between us and despite feeling before that I had reached the point where I could understand his expressions, his face at this moment was completely unreadable.

“For a start, I want to discuss what happened at the Twenty Nine Palms base.” He opened, his stern eyes studying my face for every minute reaction and though my heart sank at the suggested topic, I nodded back calmly.

“Whilst it can’t be denied that your actions resulted in saving a young girl's life, they were also unacceptably reckless. You demonstrated absolutely no regard for your own safety and jeopardised the reputation of the whole team. You are aware that we appreciate your support, but I’m not convinced that you realise we are legally and morally responsible for your wellbeing whilst you are under our service and that I would be personally held accountable for your death as a result of your irresponsible actions.” He lectured, his voice sounding even more severe than it had when I was in the ambulance and I felt my confidence crumbling with every word that he spoke.

It became clear that he had paused his speech to allow me the chance to explain myself and I cleared my throat to speak with a feeling of terror.

“I’m truly sorry for my actions, Sir. You are entirely right. I was reckless and selfish, and I didn’t consider how my behaviour would reflect on your team, and especially on you. I’m not going to make excuses. I just want you to know that I accept any and all consequences that you feel are appropriate.” I answered calmly, ensuring that I kept my tone calm and respectful, and he sighed as he studied me.

“I didn’t call you in here to punish you, Alice. This is a conversation, not a lecture. What I aim to understand is why an agent with no field experience, or any personal stake in the case, felt that they had no choice other than to risk their own life to save a child who they’d never met?” He clarified, his entire demeanour remaining unchanged even as he moved to a gentler tactic of questioning and I chewed on my lip.

It took a few moments for me to consider how best to answer this, but eventually I decided that I respected this team as a whole too much to lie. I prepared myself for a conversation that I knew would likely change his opinion of me permanently, but assured myself that honesty was a necessity at this point.

“When I was fifteen years old, my mother was abducted.” I began, glancing down at my hands as I spoke to avoid the intensity of his gaze. “It took four months for her to be found and when she came home, she was a different person. I never saw the mother that went missing again.” I paused, clearing my throat to keep the emotion from my voice before continuing.

“Three years later, a girl at my university went missing. She wasn’t the first, but the stakes were high as all of the others had been found murdered. I obsessed over everything that my mother had survived to come home and I couldn’t imagine how awful it would be to endure that at just eighteen years old. So, I began looking into the case and after a while of digging, I compiled enough information to anonymously assist law enforcement in safely recovering the missing girl. I realised then that I had the skills to make a difference to the world and I kept going, one missing person at a time, until Interpol found me.”

“You were given a choice between conviction, or working for them?” Hotch asked knowingly, as if he’d seen this very situation many times before and I recalled the recent conversation that I’d had with Penelope about hackers frequently being recruited through their questionable activities. I nodded slowly in response, deciding that this wasn’t the time to divulge any further information about the circumstances of my hiring.

“I didn’t join this field by choice. It was never the plan for my life. Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted to help people. I actually trained to become a psychiatrist, like my dad, but a job like this had never even been on my radar. Yet, here I am.” I explained, shrugging awkwardly as I realised that this sounded like I was ungrateful for the mercy that I was shown and I tried to be more careful with my wording when I spoke again.

“When I was standing in front of that building, watching the smoke pour out of it, all I could think about was how my mother told me that she spent every minute of every day that she was in captivity praying to come home. I could just imagine Amanda doing the same thing, hoping with everything she had that someone would save her and I was right there.” I stopped as frustration seeped into my voice, allowing myself to regain control so that I could resume my explanation.

“I knew that there was a chance that she was still alive and I felt like everything that had happened, all of the crazy unplanned situations that had led me to being there at that exact time were so that I could save her. It sounds insane, but it was like my legs moved before I had even decided what I was going to do. For the first time in my career, I trusted my team, this team to have my back and with all due respect, Sir, it was the right thing to do.” I finally finished my rant, forcing myself to meet his eyes to allow him to see my sincerity and I was shocked to find that his face was filled with understanding, causing me to realise that he was already filling in the blanks between my words.

“You said that this was the first time that you felt this way about your team. You shouldn’t be working with people that you can’t rely on. In our line of work, we are forced to face horrors that most people can’t even begin to imagine. The people around you should be your anchor in the storm.” Hotch advised, causing my eyes to become watery and I sniffed back my emotions, desperate not to cry in front of him. “You have options, Alice.”

“What options? Prison?” I scoffed, recalling my conversation with Shepard with a flinch.

Though I had thought in detail about leaving Interpol many times since my recruitment, I knew in a serious light that it was merely a fantasy and nothing more. Without my employment to them, I was considered as nothing more than a threat to security and returning to normal civilian life was no longer something that I could consider.

“Join our team.” Hotch offered, causing my mouth to drop open in shock and I noticed the corners of his lips twitch slightly upward at my reaction.

“It’s clear that you are neither happy, nor valued at Interpol. You have already proven the difference that you could make across multiple cases and the entire team have agreed that you make an excellent addition.” He elaborated, listing reasons that I struggled to even associate with myself and I couldn’t seem to form a response, as I stuttered in the silence.

“But, I-Sir, we just discussed how I jeopardised this team. I don’t mean to seem rude, or ungrateful because I absolutely am not, but I fail to see how I’ve given you the impression that I would make a suitable field agent. You already have Penelope for technical support, so I’m not sure what else you could need me for here.” I pointed out, hardly able to wrap my head around the sudden detour that this conversation had taken and found myself baffled at the very concept of him offering to employ me.

“When your team brought you for the Valeno case, you showed potential that they were purposefully dismissive of. After you left, Gideon suggested that I speak to you about a position within the BAU. Unfortunately, at the time we didn’t have the available resources to do this. Due to the recent successes of this team, we’ve been granted the budget to expand and I would be foolish to ignore a candidate who has already contributed to that success. You are a good fit and the first choice of every member in this unit.” He presented, completely disregarding my concerns and when I looked at him with confusion, he sighed.

“I have discussed the recent incident with Gideon and we share the opinion that with the correct mentoring and the support of a team that believes in your worth, you could be an exceptional field agent.” He divulged, causing me to raise my brows impossibly higher in surprise.

It was bizarre enough that Hotch wanted me to join the team, but finding out that Gideon had been the instigator for this offer blew what remained of my psyche to pieces and Hotch cleared his throat to regain my attention from my inner turmoil.

“The offer would, of course, be conditional. It would be based on your own commitment to overcoming your experiences. None of us are immune to personal biases and each of us have elements of our pasts that make certain cases more challenging for us than the others. However, we rely on each other to hold us accountable, and have all learned to be objective and to know our limits. If you think this is something that you can also undertake, then there is a place here for you. As long as you want it.” Hotch clarified, causing me to stare back at him in blatant disbelief.

“I-I honestly don’t know what to say.” I stuttered, fiddling with my hair anxiously and Hotch cracked a rare smile at me. “It isn’t as simple for me as just changing state. My life is in France now. I’ve already left my mum behind once in England. I’d also have to renounce my dual nationality and become an American citizen.” I thought aloud, considering the enormity of the decision before me and Hotch nodded in understanding.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” I asked nervously, unsure of what else to say and Hotch seemed completely unsurprised by my reaction, as if he’d actually been expecting it.

“Of course. It’s a serious decision that you aren’t expected to make right away. Take all of the time that you need.”

--⥈--

“Girl. Your life is crazy!” Ricky gasped, studying me with a fascinated expression and I had to laugh at his dramatic reaction, despite mostly agreeing with the sentiment. “You’re gonna say yes, right?”

I sighed deeply as I considered this question and the way that he considered me now revealed exactly how insane he thought I was for even needing to think about it. In order to avoid his prying eyes, I stood to start clearing away the takeaway boxes that littered my hotel room bed, but Ricky refused to be silenced.

“Alice. Honey. What are you doing?! Life at Interpol has been miserable for you since day one. You said it yourself. I can’t imagine anything there that could be worth turning this offer down for!” He scolded, staring at me in complete disbelief and I shook my head at his youthful attitude to things.

“It’s more complicated than that. I never planned to work in this sector at all, much less as an FBI agent!” I explained, still struggling to process the fact that this was even an option that was open to me. It felt as if it had come from nowhere and I was already overwhelmed with the mere concept of making such a serious life decision.

“This isn’t just a job that we’re talking about here. It’s a completely different life. I need to be sure that I can handle it, before I move away from everything that I know. I’d hardly ever get to see mum and Roger.” I clarified, struggling to make him understand the severity of the situation.

“You never visit your mama anyway! I should know. I overhear Maji talking to her about it enough.” He groaned, only causing me to feel even worse about the idea of moving even further away from her.

“Besides, if you took it then you’d be living right near me and there isn’t any better benefit than that!” He added, posing across the bed as if he were the most important factor in the proposal and I chuckled at him with fondness. He sighed at my lack of enthusiasm, before dropping to a more serious tone.

“The most important thing for all of us is your happiness. You’d be crazy to stay somewhere that is making your whole existence taste like bad Aloo Gobi. And you deserve better than that! You deserve for your life to always be like Maji’s cooking, full of love and happiness.” He described, seeming as if he’d distracted himself along the way and he glanced back down at his plastic container of curry with disdain.

“You realise that you have a gift for being able to relate literally anything to food, right?” I remarked playfully, observing him with amazement and he shrugged carelessly.

“Food is one of the most enjoyable things that sustains us. It’s important.” He argued passionately and I couldn’t think of a single point to dispute his statement with, having to allow him the pleasure of being correct. “Fortunately, Mumbai Gardens is able to provide an almost authentic experience, right here in the heart of Virginia. A good meal can heal many things, you know. Even the stress of your biggest ever life decision.”

“That’s high praise coming from you. Could it pass the home test though, do you think?” I queried with curiosity as I disposed of the remaining trash with the Mumbai Gardens logo on it and he scoffed as if I’d asked something utterly ridiculous.

“Not a chance! Even Mama would be able to tell you that it wasn’t completely correct. You know, she’s actually been with Maji long enough now to have better cooking taste than some of my other actual Indian friends.” He revealed, showing his love for his step mom, who happened to be my paternal aunt Heather, clear in his voice.

I couldn’t withhold a wide grin as I thought of my aunts, both filled with a warmth that radiated even in my memories. Heather and Ricky’s mum, Nabhitha, had been married for almost ten years now and were the main reason that I still had any faith in true love. They had done an admirable job of raising Ricky together, with Heather always treating him as if he was her biological son and I was endlessly proud of them. Thanks to them, Ricky had grown into the confident, funny teenager that I loved. Their blissful blended family gave me hope for my own future.

“I just had an idea.” Ricky breezed, sitting up particularly straight as if he could barely contain his enthusiasm and I turned back to face him with interest. “If you take this job, we could totally rent a place together! I could be your stylist extraordinaire, in-house councillor and professional Indian chef.” He suggested, his eyes gleaming with excitement and I scoffed loudly at the idea.

“Absolutely not. I’ve already got enough on my plate, without considering parenting you, Ricky.” I laughed, wincing at even the thought of dealing with his dramatics on a daily basis and he gasped at my refusal, seeming as if he could never have expected me to refuse his generous offer. “You can be as offended as you like, but I still don’t have the energy to deal with a college kid in my space. I’m not gonna be your easy way out of student housing. Pick some other teenagers to live with already.”

“Fine. I was offering you a lifestyle of sheer luxury, but I guess I’ll just have to take my fabulous self somewhere that I’ll be better appreciated.” He announced, acting as if he were hurt by my denial, before quickly softening back into a smile barely a few seconds later. “You should definitely think some more about taking the job though, queen. You deserve a fresh start.”

“We’ll see.” I conceded with a chuckle, desperate to simply end the conversation. “Now, which film do you want to rent?”

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #11:

(note that I know I mentioned a “Voiced Askplosion” last time in the tags for anyone who put a 🎤 in their ask, meaning they wanted to hear me respond verbally to it, but I only got one and it wasn’t anything serious - just a tease from someone I know - so I either won’t be doing it at all or will be holding off)

Asks responding to previous posts:

ALYA NO!!!

(the idea of Sabrina avoiding not only Ms. Mendeleiev, but also Alya, is very amusing to me)

The fact that the special focuses on the love square instead of Sabrina and Delmar is a crime.

(also note that “Need some help?” is rhetorical in this context; Alya doesn’t care)

Highly recommended, honestly, otherwise it just turns into a big shame because there are shows I really like but with some content that I don’t like, and why torture myself with it when I can cut it out instead?

Just to give a rough idea, here’s my cut of “Desperada”; mind you, this is just my quick cut of it (basically a “beta” version where I just removed everything I disliked without much care for transitioning/having everything make sense; some of Marinette’s friends talking, the guitar scene, Aspik, etcetera), as I’m not comfortable handing over my “perfect” cut of it since it’s like my personal copy.

Yeah, that’s a super awkward scene. As much as I’d like to imagine that Adrien just doesn’t understand the “guy time” thing (which I still hate), the fact that they use the word “guy” specifically is--ugh.

I wasn’t aware of what he said in the French dub, so thanks! It’s really painful to see her throw so much love his way, openly and publicly and obviously, then be so humiliated for it, only for Adrien to feel nothing for her.

Say whatever you want about Chat Noir’s advances and how sAAAAAAD he is when she rejects him, but her rejections are just that; in private. There aren’t other heroes who are around and Chat is never really humiliated. Even in “Prime Queen,” Chat wasn’t the target - Ladybug was, and then Ladybug shifted it to Nadja - so Marinette is the one taking all the heat in love while Chat gets to sit on the sidelines (plus, then “Oblivio” happened and now people probably all thing they’re a thing).

Yeah! That’s the group I was thinking of!

Thank you!

I’m so sorry that happened. ;—;

I’m not aro but I am ace and I’ve gotten the whole, “oh it’s just because--” stuff before, so I know what it feels like to have people put on the pressure/invalidate you.

YES.

IT’S GORGEOUS.

I’m not really familiar with how holidays are celebrated outside of the bare basics of Christmas/New Year (which I am trying my hardest to forget lol), so I couldn’t say.

Sorry!

New Asks:

10/10 thought, would fantasize again.

Though would also accept MC Audrey just doing some “spring cleaning” of the whole staff in general. I have no idea how she’d replace Jeremy since he’s the company’s poster boy but most of the writers have to go at the very least and Jeremy should be given less power.

I think MC Audrey would appreciate how Kagami carries herself, though potential bonus if - while Tom and Sabine just openly trust whatever Marinette wants - Audrey does a bunch of digging to make sure Kagami is “worthy” of being with Marinette (she takes this all very seriously).

Double potential bonus if Kagami takes it just as seriously, so here’s Audrey and Kagami acting as if Kagami dating Marinette is like some sort of job interview.

Kagami handing over a “resume” of her accomplishments to Audrey. Audrey has already looked all of it up herself but appreciates the effort put in.

If the question in Miraculous is, “Do we really need a--” and the thing being introduced is something the staff came up with then the answer is usually “no.”

The movie will look pretty and that’s all I’ll expect. It’s just Jeremy’s take on Miraculous. Luka and Kagami probably won’t even be around so I’m not even interested.

I’ll watch it, but I’m also not interested lol.

Honestly, I’d rather turn into bubble froth.

oddly specific but... I mean, damn

I have no idea, and I try not to throw around words like “spite ship” because I know people could genuinely like the ship, though I will say that I went on AO3 and - unless I read from - the first Maribat fanfiction on there was posted after the airdate of “Chameleon.” I think it might’ve started with inspiration from “Marinette moves schools” ideas at the very least.

Non-Miraculous Asks responding to previous posts:

Oh, I understood, no worries! It was just funny for the split second it took me to figure it out.

My bad, that’s not how I meant to come off (especially since “magical girl shows” is a little broad; I mean, obviously I don’t think something like Cardcaptor Sakura is aiming for fanservice when Sakura’s--like... ten). I answered all those asks in the last askplosion in the same day so my brain was a little fried by the time I got to that ask.

I’m not even talking about Sailor Moon either; it’s just that I knew there are shows with fanservice and there are certain magical girl outfits where I kind of give the side-eye.

Absolutely zero problem with girls fighting in pretty outfits though. I fully admit that I’m a bit of a prude so sometimes I see fanservice where there might not be any. Super short skirts without shorts, for example, inherently throw me off (shout-out to Saint Tail - which I discovered while looking up “pretty magical girl outfits” - because the main character does have a skirt in “magical girl” form but also tights/boots and a cute hat, which is one of the more unique ones I’ve seen).

Non-Miraculous Asks:

Do you mean Sailor Moon Crystal? Yeah, the only reason I hesitate on Sailor Moon in general is because I’m not crazy about the transformed designs. It’s not really a matter of animation but more a design choice that takes me out of the experience.

I have seen all of Cardcaptor Sakura anime though, and then all of the Clear Card arc. I like the former, despise the latter, and I tried to keep up with the manga but once one of the big plot details were revealed, I officially dropped it.

As for Revolutionary Girl Utena, I looked it up a while ago and don’t remember what exactly turned me away. It might’ve been the darker tone though if what you say is accurate that it’s a darker take on a magical girl show.

Also, I may or may not have looked up the ending of at least Princess Tutu and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great anime, but if there isn’t a happy ending then I give whatever anime a hard pass.

(note: yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that when I continue watching Miraculous)

-

(More Madoka Magica talk/salt below!)

Ohhh, it started a trend? I had no idea since I don’t actively keep up with every anime out there; descriptions need to really pull me in (the only current anime I’m keeping up with is Hanyou no Yashahime, Otherside Picnic, and Cells at Work (Season 2)).

The focus on specific--uh--body parts in magical girl transformations also reminds me that I think that’s usually what kills it for me, not because of the sexualization but because I expect transformations (especially ones that get repeated over and over) to be really dynamic with changing angles and such, which is harder to do when the camera is trying to draw focus to specific places.

Obviously you have to do it for some moments (I’ve always imagined Miraculous transformations like a potential sheep or another one for rabbit, then rabbit!Jean from Leave for Mendeleiev and fox!Juleka from LadyBugOut) because things will be weird if you focus on nothing, but I think there are ways to draw the eye without trying to sexualize.

Not having Ladybug-esque bodysuits is a good start. It reminds me too much of the Catwoman with just a bodysuit so it leaves nothing to the imagination.

How did I forget about that Sayaka scene? omg (though I dunno if the Bechdel Test is hard to pass if there aren’t really any endgame male love interests? are there rules about that? not saying a pass isn’t a pass but it feels like cheating)

It is nice when fans can respect the opinions of others without having to outright attack. I have had a few people come to me with, “I see your point/respect it even if I disagree,” instead of accusing me/others of--well, you get it.

Fandoms can be really messy, particularly as they get larger. I think there’s a certain balance between small fandoms that all know each other and a big fandom that’s out of control. Then there are things like “loud minority” and it’s just uggggh.

Anyway, back to the asks themselves, yeah, I’m not crazy about taking things that are just meant to be positive/cute/whatever and being like, “OKAY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS EDGY AND SAD.”

n o ,  p l z

Oh, I’ve never heard of that one!

Sayaka dying didn’t really do anything for me either. It’s hard to explain when I saw it so long ago, but it was just Sayaka’s attitude about the whole thing and it made it feel underwhelming. It was a shame too because I liked her and she had potential.

She was Madoka’s friend so I was just like, “Yeah, she’ll die soon.” Probably didn’t help since I knew what I knew about the show being “dark.”

Madoka/Sayaka is probably what I’d support the most out of all the potential shoujo ai ships. To my knowledge, none of them are really canon, though I remember a special song after the death Sayaka and Kyoko which I guess makes them the most canon and that did basically nothing for me since their relationship didn’t interest me (nor did I care for Kyoko as a character). The PSP game might have more intimate potential between the girls, but I never played them so I can’t make those claims (I only remember something about everyone potentially living and then a bad ending for Sayaka where part of her body was decayed when they didn’t get her soul gem back in time).

The tomboy argument makes me think back to a conversation with a friend of mine where we were discussing tomboys in anime and... we couldn’t really think of any? At least any that really qualify as “tomboy” for me.

Like, Misty from Pokemon, for example. I knoooooow everyone really likes Misty, but regardless of my opinion on her, it’s hard to see her as a tomboy.

I feel like they try to lean that way by making her super aggressive and violent (because... m E N) and I think Ash makes a comment once about her not being “like a girl,” but... I feel like that’s just how general “aggressive” female characters are written?

I mean, that’s tsundere female characters I’ve seen in general. Really loud (and not in a “gIrlS aRe sO lOuD aND ScReEcHY” way but like... the way anime gives them big heads while they scream at whatever male character they’re mad at), angry a lot, short fuse, etcetera.

But Misty is still crazy about clothes and dolls, she still gushes about cute things and romance, and both of those things seem pretty indicative of what “standard girl character” would be defined by, since they’re all “stereotypically girl thing” (I say stereotypically for obvious reasons since boys can like blah and girls can like blah and gender exclusivity is blah--). I get that she dresses differently, but that’s about it, and it comes off like, “she dresses differently and she’s ANGRY and VIOLENT, so she’s a tomboy,” which... yeah. They even gave her three beauty queen sisters with CURVES and BUSTS as if to say, “See?? These are GIRLS, not TOMBOYS.” (busty females can exist who are also tomboys, thank you have a nice day).

This becomes more complicated in magical girl anime since girly clothes are usually part of that so “tomboy” means that frills and skirts probably wouldn’t be a factor.

I mean, if you gave those sorts of outfits to me, I’d be like, “SCREW IT, I’M NOT A MAGICAL GIRL ANYMORE. IF LOOKING PRETTY IS REDUCED TO SKIRTS AND FRILLS, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SAVE THE WORLD.”

I’d also like to see some mixes between personalites and “tomboy” things. Like, non-stereotypical tomboy personalities doing tomboy things. Mix and match, y’know?

This was really rambly, but to answer the question... no, I wouldn’t count Sayaka as a tomboy.

All of this.

I think it also exemplifies the whole “dark and edgy magical girl show” thing because... ugh, how do I put this...

The “girls are overly emotional” thing is already bad, but then you realize that there not being any magical boys is also because that doesn’t hit the “shock value” threshold as much.

Y’know, because boys equal dark and edgy shows, so if there was even one magical boy it wouldn’t be as shocking when Mami gets her head chomped. They could’ve done, “emotional teenagers are the target because they’re in that vulnerable stage; smarter and more physically capable than children, but not as mature/stable as adults,” but having some boys in there for balance (it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game) would make the show seem less bright and “girly” and thus lessen the shock value.

Does that make sense?

[iwrestlenow]

Many More To Die, Chapter 15 (Epilogue)

TITLE: Many More To Die (Chapter 15, Epilogue)

FANDOM: Sanders Sides (Necromancer AU)

SUMMARY: Logan goes home for the first time in ten years--and ends this story so he can start a new one at Roman's side.

SHIPS: Logince (Logan/Roman), Moceit (Patton/Janus) and Dukexiety (Remus/Virgil)

WARNINGS: implications of violence, but mostly schmoop

This story is over, but THE story is just beginning. Still, I want to thank literally everyone that's been reading and enjoying this. Your kind words and comments, your support and kudos and encouragement...

For a while now, I've lost my passion for writing. This lit a fire under my ass. Thank you for helping to fan the flame.

I am your biggest fan. All of you reading this. Every single person. <3

Oh also this is unbeta'd so if it sucks it's on me, hope you have fun reading anyhoodle. :P

NOTES: This is based on the gorgeous piece of art by @gretacticdraws that can be found here. I ended up writing a ficlet for it, and then my brain got swallowed up. Breathe at me wrong, and I’ll write more…hell, who am I kidding? I’ll write more anyway because this? Is self indulgent drivel. XD

Also located at AO3 over here.

“You're nervous.”

“Falsehood.”

“I'm the one that's supposed to be nervous.”

“Roman, I am warning you...”

Roman's mouth was abruptly on his, warm and sweet and firm. His arms were secure around Logan's waist, pulling Logan's back against his chest, and Logan was helpless in the face of liquid golden warmth trickling through his limbs and pooling sweetly somewhere low in his belly as he leaned back into Roman's embrace.

It had been a week, and technically, Logan and Patton were still prisoners until a vote could be put to the people. As prince regent, with the king convalescing, Roman was already spreading word of the events in the castle, and the fact that necromancers had defended the life of the royal family.

Thomas, despite being alive, seemed hell bent on abdicating, claiming Roman was ready. Logan was in full agreement, but Roman refused to even consider it.

Not until he made sure his reign would be welcome.

Logan forced himself from the blissful reverie of Roman's embrace just in time to open his eyes and spot a figure on the horizon. People were appearing, but one towered above all the others.

Grandpap. Logan blinked hard against the sudden burn behind his eyes. Roman must have sensed his unrest, because a hand smoothed up the length of his spine.

The closer they drew, the more restless Logan became. His stomach was tightening, his chest compressing, a strange chill causing him to shiver when the air was perfectly pleasant...

Logan wasn't nervous. Logan was afraid.

Roman brought the horse they were riding to a stop once they were there—a dozen feet from the line of people that had formed to wait for their arrival, just at the boundary of the settlement.

Grandpap towered over them, but among the throng were Logan's parents—and endless others, so many he'd grown up with and around...

Roman gave him one gentle squeeze before he carefully dismounted and reached up to help Logan down. Taking one last breath, Logan walked up to face his grandfather as calmly as he could, where he stood, flanked by his child and goodchild—Logan's geni and his pari, Elliot and Talyn..

“Who claims this Weaver?” Josiah called out, raising his voice to be heard by the people around him.

“We do.” Elliot replied, their eyes too bright as they stared at Logan with a ferocity that made it hard to breathe. “We claim this Weaver, and grant him--”

“I will take no Name.”

Josiah regarded Logan sharply. “Scuse me?”

Logan took a deep breath. “I will take no Name, for I already have one.”

A gasp went through the group, and Talyn's hands flew to cover their mouth, tears slipping from their eyes.

“I am Logan Berry.” Logan continued, emboldened by the weight of a hand on his shoulder from behind. “Son of Elliot Crofter. Fruit of Talyn Crofter...heart-name of Starlight, recalled to life by the power of the Lazari.”

Logan paused, turning to face Roman.

“And I am claimed by the keeper of my soul.”

Roman smiled at him, bending to kiss Logan's cheek before he faced Josiah.

Only then did Logan realize Roman wasn't wearing it.

“Roman!”

Ignoring Logan, Roman stepped forward—and then dropped to one knee in front of Logan's grandfather as he drew his sword, offering it to him pommel first.

“To you, Lord Father, I submit my fate. If you have not the care to look into my soul, then it is better that you should run me through with my own sword and claim me as your thrall lest you believe me incapable of pure intent.” he declared without hesitation, his voice clear and strong. “What say you?”

Logan stood, breathless, as Grandpap gaped down at Roman with shock and anger in his face. His gaze flicked up to Logan, as if he couldn't help it--

Before he took the sword from Roman and hefted it into his hand with an ease that was unnerving. Logan had never seen his grandfather wield a blade, always fighting with bare hands and sharp words...

For the first time, he could see it: the blood of kings, the head that bore the weight of the crown, the noble blood that had passed from him to Geni and into Logan's veins.

Josiah used the flat of the blade to lift Roman's chin to meet his gaze.

“You know what you're askin', son?” he replied quietly.

“Yes, Lord Father.”

“To walk the grave and call it home?”

“To walk the grave, and call it home.” Roman replied, then continued with an ease that made Logan's chest tight with pride. “To give the dead my voice, to speak their will, to care for the lowest of the low as gods and as kings, for I seek no greater honor than to humble myself as a steward of the dead.”

“And why is that?” Josiah asked.

“For it is in the stewardship of death that we understand the blessing of life.”

Josiah slid another look up at Logan, raising an eyebrow. Logan had to bite back a smile—it was the same look Grandpap gave him whenever Logan asked for another new book or telescope or a third helping of jam with his breakfast as a little boy.

“You ask for death and resurrection as one of the tribe—what gift would you deliver for the honor of death and slavery?” Josiah asked, refocusing on Roman.

“The throne of the Kingdoms, and the crown that goes with it.”

Josiah blinked, the people around him dead silent with pure shock.

“Lies kill among this tribe, little prince.” Josiah warned.

Roman held steady, his breathing even, his voice colored with a softness that Logan knew meant he was smiling.

“Only a fool would come to the Lord Father of the Necromata with a lie on his lips—and while I am a fool many times over, I am not a fool in this.”

There was a startled, barely there ripple of tittering through the people at Grandpap's back—including the familiar roll of thunder that was Josiah's quiet chuckle.

“And the compensation you would ask for the soul you've gifted to my grandson?”

“I would ask for nothing, and accept only that which you would offer, Lord Father.”

“...then I offer you the throne of the Kingdoms, and the crown that goes with it. Didn't wanna be a king in my youth, and that ain't changed.”

“Grandpap--”

“Logan, hush your mouth.”

“But Grandpap, he's not--”

“Starlight, hush yer mouth.”

Logan's mouth snapped shut at the use of his True Name by his grandfather. Josiah watched Roman as he set the point of the sword against Roman's throat.

Roman was asking for the right to be with Logan not as a suitor or a spouse, but as a rightful member of his tribe. Such initiation required a blood sacrifice, usually represented with the symbolic slicing of a red thread or mutilation of a piece of red fabric.

And Roman wasn't wearing the thread Logan had knotted around his neck.

“It is done.” Josiah declared flatly, launching Logan's heart into his throat.

There was a soft twitch, and Roman's deep red travel cloak slipped off his shoulders to pool around him.

“The king is dead—and the king is reborn unto the tribe.” Josiah declared, lowering the sword and offering Roman his hand. “Rise, son of Shadow...and next time, wear the damn thread 'stead of showboating.”

Roman shrugged as he stood up. “I didn't want to give myself an out. I wanted you to know I meant it, I...I'm willing to die to be with your grandson, sir.”

“Well, now you are.” Grandpap replied, glancing at Logan again. “Provided this ain't an act?...”

Logan shook his head, then reached into his pocket and pulled the Soulstone free with shaking fingers, moving to Roman's side and handing it to Josiah.

“I apologize for stealing it, but I felt I had no choice.” he confessed. “For what it's worth, it protected me from the Cleansing—and likely protected Roman from far worse. Has news reached here?”

Josiah nodded, fingers curling around the Soulstone. “It has.”

“Then you know that Roman has had little memory of what led me to steal that ring—had the Soulstone not been present and working, the Animator might have done Roman harm much sooner to ensure he could successfully wipe out the royal family...and, without the king's protection, ours as well.”

Josiah just nodded, looking between the pair.

“So that's it? You two show up just to make the little prince Necromata and get my blessing? Where's your damn brother, and if the king lives why the hell did your soulmate just try to offer me the throne?”

Logan smiled, leaning into Roman's side. His arm came to settle around Logan's shoulders, the line of heat and pressure doing worlds to calm his nerves.

“It's a long story, Grandpap,” Logan offered, “but I think there's finally time enough to tell it—not just to you, but to everyone.”

Josiah smiled at that—a real smile, slow and broad and warm as fresh bread.

“I hope you mean more 'n just the Necromata, son...c'mon, let's go inside.”

With that, there was chaos, joyous and enveloping—and that word, once again echoing in Logan's head.

Necromata.

Once upon a time, Logan had nothing but that word to hold onto, alone in a dungeon cell, in pain and afraid.

Then Roman found him, for a second time, and saved him. Now, Roman had a future as king, and Logan...

Logan had that word again, but now that word also meant Roman. It meant his family, it meant his future...it meant real and lasting hope.

Necromata. It no longer meant the necromancers, or the legions of the Animator.

It meant his geni and pari, who chose that moment to leave Josiah's side and fling themselves at him.

It meant his Grandpap, snickering at them over his shoulder.

It meant Roman subjecting himself to the curious onslaught of questions from Logan's parents, not as a ruler but as Logan's future husband.

It felt like a Name now—a Name, freely accepted and made his own.

A life, restored.

For the first time, Logan could allow himself to have hope, because he had the power of the Necromata at his fingertips—and it was only a matter of time before that power and that hope brought the world back into balance once again.

[topconfessions]

You know what is worst that an army? A selenator lol those bitches still believe Abele write wasted time for Selena hahahaha all the song is about Bella, the only part for selena is; she was not even half of you(for selena xd) all the rest say Bella even the ecuestre part those selenator try so hard that untalented fake giiirl a thing huug

She has the worst fandom name and she's lucky Arnold Schwarzenegger is down to earth and doesn't have a stick up his ass like Beyonce cause I couldn't see Beyonce allowing someone like her to rip her likeness for a fandom name lmao. The lawsuits honey!!! I think of terminator everytime says her fandom name. Demi has the better fandom name. I forgot what Ariana stans are called.

Everyone with brain cells knows him and Bella were a legit heavy thing. Selena was a pass around and rebound just a fling. Again like I mentioned I don't like that she tried to milk him and shade him by saying a line was for her when it was for the dead Selena who was known for being curvy and having a nice ass for her shape LOL. Like girllllllllll

I'm not a Selena hater but no shit I don't like her nor respect her. The fact she showed up to an awards show DRUNK and flubbed her whole performance and got away with it I could snatch her off that damb stage and shake her!!!

But the world dragged Britney Spears for FILTH when she was not mentally well and did that slow gimmie more performance before she got thrown into the psych ward. No shit Britney performance that night was no different than selenas flub but at least Brit didn't fucking forget the whole routine and walk right into her line of back up dancers then allover in a circle LOST.

Chileeeeeee lemme get up outta here. Rare beauty is the only mega successful thing she has going for her and I hear its good but thats because like rihanna she had connections to get a good company to produce and manufacture it. I use fenty beauty and rather do that than rare.

God I wish I could find that hyorin gif about talent the shady one...WAIT I FOUND IT.

That sums the Selena up in one quote

Anyways /YAWNS/ good luck to her but the fans need to quit. She not JLO shakira or Becky G.

[smash-bros-and-smash]

Actually, I’ve been thinking about the EU team all day, which means it’s time to subject the rest of the fandom to my headcanons 

Wales:

-Excalibur’s resident Short King, clocks in at around 5′7″/170cm

-He tends to cover the right side of his face with his bangs because he has a lazy eye and is fairly self-conscious about it.

-He’s actually really good at video games and can beat everyone else on his team at Smash Bros.

-He plays the violin! He even has a cool-looking electric violin that he messes around with in his spare time.

-He swears more than anybody else on his team and is prone to coming off as abrasive, even when he doesn’t mean to be.

Sophie:

-The Cetus bladers are responsible for protecting Excalibur’s one shared brain cell. Sophie is in possession of this brain cell ~80% of the time.

-She wound up wanting to be an archaeologist because she owned way too many of those children’s encyclopedias on ancient civilizations as a child. 

-Definitely the most approachable of the bunch. She’s actually friends with a couple of other people from the other World Championships teams, namely Nile, Mei Mei, and Lera.

-People sometimes think that they can get away with walking all over her because she’s the most outwardly polite person on her team. They are wrong. 

-She loves cats and owns two of them!

Julian:

- [Makes one tiny mistake while doing anything ever] “Due to personal reasons I will be passing away”

-He’s been riding horses for years and he doesn’t understand why people think they’re cursed animals. They are perfectly good boys! You guys are just mean! 

-If he gets sick on a day where his schedule isn’t too full, he will be a really huge baby about it. 

-This man drinks way too much coffee. His teammates don’t understand how he’s able to sleep at night.

-Following the Hades City incident, he actually tries to get his act together and be a better person. He’s even on good terms with Da Xian. (He’s still pretty prone to slipping back into his perfectionist tendencies, but old habits die hard.)

Klaus:

-Emotional support German strongman

-Really though, if you have something you need to get off your chest, he’s a good listener (and to be honest, he’s probably the best person on the team to go to for advice.)

-His family is pretty well off, but he’s the only member of Excalibur who didn’t go to private school. 

-He gives good hugs and can pick up any of his teammates with ease. Not even Julian is safe.

-He’s not a huge fan of going to big parties at all. Three piece suits are stuffy and uncomfortable, small talk is awkward, and some of the people who wind up attending them are super irritating. 

[cultofbeatles]

Hey! :) you appear to be quite known in the Beatles fandom on tumblr and I'm hoping to get some advice on how to get into the fandom and all Beatles stuff. I'm a new fan but I've known them for years already so I know as much about them as Wikipedia could tell me and I don't know where to start my 'research' honestly. They did so much, it's overwhelming. On a side note I don't like to read, so biographies are not really my thing. I'd be happy about any help. Thank you!

hey :) i was honestly so ready to drop some good book recs for you until i saw the line saying biographies aren't your thing haha. because how i learned everything about the beatles was through books :/

i do know that the beatles anthology (the big big authorized book they made) has a dvd version of it. i haven't watched it all the way through, and it’s kind of expensive, but i'm sure that’s very informative as well. documentaries aren't really my thing so i have none to recommend. always be careful about what articles you're looking at online, and take most of them with a grain of salt. i feel so unhelpful right now, i'm sorry! i know you said reading wasn't your thing but if i had to say the one beatles book you should probably read to know everything would be the beatles by hunter davies. it’s not as big as the beatles anthology, it’s a credible source, and it covers all four members equally. it’s a good place to start!

i know getting into a band like the beatles is so stressful because of how much content there is, and how much information there is to learn. that’s me with the rolling stones lol. but i'd like to say that you should just enjoy their music and not stress too much about the information. when i first got really into the beatles i only spent time listening to their music andiI read one book about them. it wasn't until a few years later that I stocked up on all my knowledge. all the stuff I now know about the beatles Is from reading at least 20 books on the band/each member. it’s nice to know things about a band you like but there’s no need to rush it or feel like you have to know it all at once :)

as far as getting into the fandom, do whatever you want! i mean, i come on here and just started posting dumb memes lol. everyone i've met on here is super nice and welcoming. we’re all just passing around one brain cell. do whatever you’d like on here and i'm sure you fit right in. 

[agent-aurelie]

I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands recently between the nervous breakdowns and not working and I’ve been feeling super inspired by this fandom.  I’ve been creeping through art tags and doing little writing exercises/drabbles inspired by different sketch dumps and fan art I’ve loved, and sometimes they’re okay enough to post.

The first one I’ll share is inspired by this post by @roninreverie of Resistance-era Jacen trying to recruit some new pilots for the cause.  Hera is furious. 

Thank you so much to @roninreverie for letting me gush over her work and share this little ficlet. 

--

The Recruitment Holo (1538 Words, no beta)

Hera is still seething after her rant at Jacen when the hatch to her cabin hisses shut behind her.

She has always considered herself to be a good parent, even when things weren’t easy.  And there were plenty of times across not one, but two galactic wars, when being Jacen’s mother was the furthest thing from easy.  At the very least, she was an attentive parent, opting more often than not to carry her small son on her hip to everything from command briefings to X-Wing pilot training exercises. When it simply wasn’t safe to take her child with her, Sabine or Zeb would always outrank the other eager pilots who were more than willing to take a shift to watch General Syndulla’s son, and they’d travel from multiple systems to do it. Jacen had a wider support system than any child she knew, which is why his latest stunt was so kriffing stupid that Hera has to take stock in where things had gone so wrong.

She is glad she retreated to her cabin to calm down before confronting Poe Dameron, and then Lando Calrissian, both of whom Hera is absolutely positive had some influence in Jacen’s little filmmaking project.  A few weeks back during a fairly grim briefing, Hera noted how dire their pilot situation was becoming - she recalled the early days of the Rebellion when finding cells to band together to defeat the Empire was daunting, stressful work.  She never dreamed she’d have to do it twice in her lifetime, and the Resistance desperately needed pilots.  

“We’ll figure it out, mom,”  Jacen had said confidently that evening at dinner,  “I can take Chop and the Phantom for a recruiting spin if we’re really that hard up?”

Her son is an adult now, a handsome, charming, talented pilot of an adult.  He inherited all of the best parts of Kanan, his bravery, his tactical mind, his good looks (for better or worse, Hera was learning), and the parts of Hera she’s most proud of, her love of the skies, her kindness and her determination and loyalty.  But Hera still has a hard time letting him off world without her nearby.  The all-encompassing devastation of the loss of Kanan never fades, and Hera is positive she can’t handle losing Jacen, too.

Hera almost wishes she’d let him take the Phantom instead of finding him half naked, taking recruitment matters into his own hands in front of a holo-vid recorder.

Hera Syndulla was going to kill Poe Dameron with her own ungloved hands, and Lando Calrissian, for good measure.

“Some tactician Jacen is, Kanan,” Hera mutters to the empty cabin before flopping back on her bunk,  “Though I meant what I said - you probably would have done the same, and I’d have been run ragged training every sentient being who saw your holo-vid to become a pilot for the Rebellion.  I just thought he was smarter than that.”

Kanan was a master at finding solutions. There’s always another way, he’d say, and his blue-green eyes would flash with delight as he unwound a solution to whatever narrow odds the Spectres found themselves in.  Jacen inherited Kanan’s drive, those same problem solving skills that will make him an asset to the Resistance.  She just wishes for her sanity, that he hadn’t also inherited Kanan’s relentless flirtatiousness, that handsome smile and that talent for charming his way out of every tight situation.  Truly, he was Kanan Jarrus’ boy.

Hera’s mind drifts back to Gorse, so many years ago now, and how the secondhand embarrassment radiated from her when she heard the story of how Kanan had asked an Imperial captain over the Expedient’s com what she was wearing.   She remembers how easy it was to play to his flirtatious nature to all but steal his Moonglow ID badge from around his neck.  And she remembers how willing he was to follow her around - even after she explained she could investigate Vidian on her own - because he thought there was a chance of a physical reward at the end.  Kanan had fallen into a lot of unnecessary danger because of his attitude and his libido, and while they’d both escaped mostly unscathed (and of course that mission led to the best years of Hera’s life) the recklessness of that time in Gorse could have been fatal to anyone but a Jedi.

She sometimes feels the Force still lingering in the Ghost, she likes to imagine it wrapping itself around Jacen for protection.  But her son has not shown any particular sensitivity to it, and she’s almost positive that won’t materialize now to protect him in such dire situations.

Hera would not let Jacen make the same mistakes.  There is truly no safety net for him.

But he’s going to make mistakes, Hera,  she can hear Kanan’s voice in her mind.  Sometimes in the most challenging moments of being a single parent, Hera can feel Kanan there with her, standing silently behind her as she doles out a punishment to their son or tries to impart some hard-learned wisdom to keep him out of trouble.  

It’s just so hard that he isn’t actually there.  And it never gets any easier.

Hera swings her legs off her bunk and pulls a change of clothes.  She wants to speak to Jacen as mom, not as General Syndulla, and that means a quick change into leggings and a long tunic.  She wraps her lekku in a soft scarf and slips out of her cabin down the hall towards his.

Kanan’s.

Hera knocks on the hatch and she can hear his footfalls headed towards the entryway as the doors slide open.  

“Mom, I feel bad enough, I don’t need another lecture -- and before you say anything it wasn’t Poe, it was my own idea, we saw an old holo of Lando and he shouldn’t be in trouble for something he had nothing to--”

“Can I come in?”  she interrupts, asking permission to enter a bunk in her own ship.

He steps aside and lets her pass.  He shuffles back to sit on the edge of the mattress and scrubs his hands through his mop of green hair.  Hera sinks to the ground and crosses her legs, facing her son.

“You’re better than that stunt, Jacen,” she says softly, no anger in her voice this time.  “You’re more talented, more creative and far smarter than relying on your body to do something your brain can do just fine.”

He doesn’t say anything, she knows he’s embarrassed.  Not just at being caught, but at the fact that her own reputation could have been affected by something so stupid, so reckless.

“Your dad,” she goes on, and it hurts, sitting in this room and talking about Kanan, but she pushes through the tightening of her throat, the pain that never leaves, because this is more important than her own comfort, “Your dad didn’t have it so easy when he was your age.  He did a lot of stupid things too.  I was there for some of them, and I was mad at him then.  But he experienced loss and fear and anger that I don’t think I ever could fully understand.  If we, “ and Jacen knows she means the Spectres, his family, even the ones he never met, “if we weren’t there to help your father… I don’t know what would have become of him, really.

“I’m here to help you, Jacen.  I’m here to help you see past a short term gain and think smarter.  What kind of pilots did you really think you were going to recruit that way?  Think more strategically, more long term.  Think like the Jarrus and Syndulla you are.”

Jacen knows she’s serious when his father’s surname enters the conversation.  His elbows are propped on his knees and his head hangs, and she can all but feel the tension and tightness in his shoulders and back.  He doesn’t raise his eyes to meet his mothers, and it breaks Hera’s heart that her son is upset, but she knows he hears her. She slides a little closer to her boy, and slips a hand under his chin, raising his face to hers.  “I love you, Jace.  I want you to help me find more pilots, but we’re going to do it the right way.”

He nods and she kisses his cheek.  “Tomorrow we’ll take the Phantom.  I have some intel on a small group that might be worth looking into.”

“Alright,”  he says, and she can see a little more light coming into his eyes at the promise of taking to the skies, “I’ll fly?”

Hera rolls her eyes, but smiles.  “Sure,”  she agrees and stands, and cards her fingers through his hair affectionately as she heads back towards the door.  “But we’re leaving early, so don’t waste your whole night on the holonet.  I won’t hesitate to leave you behind and take Chopper instead.”  The threat is empty, but it makes him smile.

“I love you, mom,” says her son, and Hera feels a surge of warmth in her stomach.

“I love you too, Jace.”

Good work, Hera, she hears Kanan’s voice and slips out of the cabin before the loss threatens to hit her again.  

Poe Dameron and Lando Calrissian will live another cycle.  

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 1

Fandom: Revue Starlight Relive Pairing: Tomoe Tamao/Akikaze Rui Prompt: Meet Cute

approx. 1,800 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:   Thirteen year-old Akikaze Rui finds a way to change her shy demeanor in her middle school's drama club. More importantly, she wants to perform on the same stage as that gorgeous senpai. All she needs to do is work up the courage to apply...

Tags: Meet Cute, Comedy, Puppy Love, middle school!Rui, middle school!Tamao

Akikaze Rui, thirteen years-old, didn't know what to expect from her school play. It was the day of her middle school's cultural festival, and she had been wandering from attraction to attraction until her curiosity led her to the auditorium. Little did she know that her life was about to be turned upside-down. 

The actors were average at best. It was a middle school play, after all. But there was one standout performer, a shining star against a night sky of amateurs: a girl with long, dark hair.

She played the role of a princess, her character beginning the play as a regal and refined woman who is pushed into taking up the sword and becoming a fierce and formidable warrior. The actress's transformation was incredible. Rui wouldn't have believed such a dainty girl capable of such ferocious yells and impassioned speeches. It was inspiring, to say the least.

Up until now, Rui had been a leading member of the Going Home Club. She was too shy to join any social group she didn't have to, and her only extracurricular interest was kendo, but she was already enrolled at a dojo and had surpassed what most middle school students were capable of. After seeing this play—more importantly, its starring actress—Rui was inspired to try acting. She wanted to change herself, and she might be able to do so through the medium of acting. She had to join the drama club.

Rui knew she had to strike while the iron was hot. There was a chance that if she waited, the fire burning in her chest might die down and she would give into her shy nature. It had to be now.

As the other students filed out of the auditorium, Rui snuck backstage. It wasn't until she was hiding behind a prop tree that she realized she didn't have a plan. She peeked out behind the tree periodically in search of her new idol, her determination waning with every passing second. Maybe she should just leave and go to the drama club sometime later...

She stepped out from around the prop tree just in time for another girl to come out from behind the stage. Rui recognized her immediately as the actress who had turned her world upside down. The girl was still wearing the princess costume that she had on during the play. It hadn't been apparent at a distance, but now that Rui was up close she could see that this girl was astonishingly pretty. Like, "melt your brain" pretty.

"Oh, I thought everyone left," the girl said. "Are you one of the girls who volunteered to help put away the props?"

"Um, I, uh..." Rui had trouble getting words out of her mouth at the best of times, and talking to a beautiful girl she admired hardly counted as ideal circumstances. The phrase "I want to join the drama club," had seemed so easy to say when she decided to sneak backstage.

The other girl seemed unperturbed by Rui's verbal fumbling. "Could you help me with this zipper?" She turned around, showing Rui the zipper on the back of her dress. "I think it's stuck, and everyone else in the drama club has left already."

"O-okay!" It was easier for Rui to think now that she wasn't looking the gorgeous girl straight in the face. She pulled down on the zipper slowly, careful not to tear the fabric around it; indeed the zipper was stuck, and Rui had to use both hands to try to free it. Her fingers grazed the bare skin of the other girl's back, and she felt the strongest urge to apologize, though she didn't know why. What's going on with me? Rui asked herself. Why am I getting so flustered? We're both girls...

At a later date Rui would recognize this moment as her gay awakening.

The zipper jam finally gave way and the metal teeth parted. Rui pulled the zipper down just far enough to make sure it was fixed, then jumped away. "Um, it's not stuck anymore."

The girl turned around and flashed Rui a smile that turned her insides out. "You're a life-saver," she said. "We haven't met before, have we?" She looked to Rui's uniform. "You must be a first year. I'm Tomoe Tamao. Hopefully in the future I can be a more reliable senpai to you."

Rui struggled to introduce herself, as if she had forgotten her own name. She was rescued by the unlikely appearance of a third year student.

"Ooh, looks like Tamao-chan has a fan!"

Rui's idol, Tamao, frowned. "Senpai, you left me all alone. I had to ask this nice first-year to help me with this faulty zipper."

"Don't complain. Plenty of girls at this school would jump at the chance for a little private attention from her."

"What do you mean?" Tamao asked. "Is she someone famous?"

"You don't know her? That tall glass of water is Akikaze Rui-chan. She's the talk of all the athletic clubs."

Rui blushed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Akikaze-san," Tamao said. "What club are you a member of?"

The third-year chuckled. "Akikaze-chan hasn't joined any clubs. That's why they're crazy about her. She's the tallest first year in the school, and she looks like she's only going to get taller. All the sports teams tried to recruit her at the start of the year, but she turned down all of them."

"Recruit" was a delicate way of putting it. The athletics clubs had practically waged a war over which of them would get to claim Rui. The poor girl had been forced to sneak around the school, dodging her athletic upperclassmen at every turn. For someone with social anxiety, the experience had been terrifying. It was all she could do to stutter out a polite rejection every time one of them found her. Eventually they got the message and left her alone.

"Um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rui said to Tamao. "N-not about the sports clubs! I want to join the drama club. Your performance this afternoon really inspired me!" In fact, it was the most moving performance she had seen, but she was afraid of coming on too strong by saying so.

Rui was afraid that her sudden declaration would weird her out, but Tamao's eyes glittered with joy. "That's wonderful!" She took Rui's hands in her own, oblivious to the way her kouhai stilled at the contact. "You can't imagine how glad I am to hear that our play touched somebody that way."

"Jeez, you can't be a respectable senpai if you melt over a little praise," the third year said with a laugh. "Tamao-chan takes her acting seriously. A little too seriously, if you ask me."

Tamao pouted (a sight that nearly knocked Rui off her feet). "You don't take acting seriously enough, senpai."

"Don't let the busybody scare you off, Akikaze-chan. Make sure you fill out an application form." The third year cackled as she walked off. "I can't wait to brag to the other clubs that we snagged their dream member right from under their noses."

"Honestly." Tamao sighed. "I know that she's busy preparing for entrance exams, but she could at least pretend to be diligent about acting. I promise the other members of the drama club aren't like her."

The other members of the drama club could be juvenile yakuza for all Rui cared. She only had eyes for Tamao. "I promise I'll give acting my all," she said, and she meant it. If she could act half as confidently as Tamao, she'd be satisfied. If she could perform alongside Tamao—that would be a dream come true.

"I look forward to taking the stage with you, Akikaze-san. Hopefully you'll have my back in the future as you did today," Tamao added with a chuckle.

Rui's heart skipped a beat at the reminder that she'd undone her senpai's zipper. "Uh, anyway, that senpai said you're really serious about acting. Do you want to be an actress?" For some reason she felt the need to know this near-stranger's life plans.

"Ideally, yes. "I'm going to enrol at Rinmeikan School for Girls, like my mother and grandmother before me. The school has a performance department with a century of tradition."

"I'm going to enrol too!" Rui, in fact, had never given a moment's thought to what high school she would attend. 

Tamao didn't question Rui's declaration, nor her transparent motivation. "I'm glad to hear it. Not enough people these days respect traditional arts." She smiled. "Maybe it was fate that we met today, Akikaze-san."

"Y-you don't need to speak so formally to me, Tomoe-senpai," Rui stuttered. Being referred to so stiffly made her feel odd for some reason. She wanted the two of them to become... closer. "You can call me by my first name. If you want to, I mean."

"Of course, Rui-chan. But if we're going to be friends, you'll have to return the favour." The corner of her mouth turned up into a sly smirk.

Rui blushed. Friends. Yes. That was good. Great. Fantastic. "If you say so, T-Tamao-senpai."

Three Years Later...

"Awwww! Baby Rui was so cute!" Ichie squealed. "She was still taller than her senpai even back then."

During a lunchtime picnic out on the school grounds, Fumi had idly expressed curiosity as to how Rui and Tamao had become friends in middle school. Tamao related her side of the story, embellishing Rui's "gallant rescue" of her from the gnashing teeth of a stuck zipper. She pulled out her cell phone and showed the group a picture of herself and the drama club's newest member, visibly flustered by her senpai's hand on her arm.

"Rui-chan has grown a lot," Tamao said with a smile. "She's changed so much in three years, but she's always been a talented, beautiful young woman."

"Three years, huh?" Fumi looked to Rui with pity.

"Let's see more," Yuyuko said with a devilish grin, no doubt hoping for something she could tease Rui with. She scrolled through Tamao's photos, revealing a seemingly limitless supply of pictures featuring Rui.

"...that's a lot of pictures of Rui," Fumi noted.

"We made a lot of memories together," Tamao said with a smile.

"I don't remember that!" Rui yelped, blushing up a storm. Displayed on Tamao's phone was a selfie that she had taken with Rui's head resting on her shoulder. She appeared to be asleep, and Tamao held a finger to her own lips in a shushing gesture. 

"That's pretty shady, Tamao-senpai," Yuyuko cackled.

"Is it a crime for me to keep pictures of my number one fan?" Tamao's subtle, sly smirk had lost none of its power of Rui.

[captain-aralias]

More-than-six Sentence Monday

got some unexpected last minute sunday tags from @vkelleyart​ and @carryonsimoncarryonbaz​ \o/

Rules:

Writers: post (approximately) six sentences from something you’re working on. If you aren’t ready to do that, add six sentences to your WIP.

Readers: challenge yourselves to leave a six sentence comment or give a writer a six sentence prompt. (or a total of six sentences for the day)

Fans and creators alike: reblog a fandom post and add some love in the tags. Aim for 6 posts - or 6 tags. Whatever you can manage!

I tag some people who aren’t in this fandom, which i don’t think is the point. BUT... it means maybe they haven’t seen the meme, so there we are. @agapi42 @thisbluespirit @neveralarch @shipaholic

--

Great! I love talking about myself,

BUT... i literally have no works in progress. NONE. i posted the thing i was working on yesterday and i haven’t started anything else/have no idea what i will write next yet. (Give me your ideas. Can we have a kink meme or something? I love kink memes.) 

So - I will do the commenting one someone else’s thing for 6 lines instead, because that’s nice. 

And I will also give you (should you wish to read it) the original beginning from ‘Sex and Blood’, and loads of stuff I cut out of ‘The Mages Heir’ because I found the off-cuts hanging around in my docs folder, so why not? They’re yours if you want them.

Sex and Blood

This was the original beginning. Then I added Simon’s scene because... I can’t remember ... and cut most of this for a reason i DO remember, which is that I was like ‘Baz is supposed to be so sick he can’t even think. Why is he banging on about garlic?’ You’ll see I also sort of re-used some of it in the third part where Baz is in the library. 

I know fuck-all about vampires. 

To begin with, it was a matter of principle. Of pride. Finding out anything about them – about the creatures who killed my mother – was as good as admitting I was one. Which, obviously, I am – but that didn’t mean I had to think about it. (Much the same approach my father wishes I’d take to my sexuality, I expect. Being gay is bad enough – I could have the decency to repress it.)

Now, I think I’m afraid of what I might find if I looked. 

Everything I do know, I’ve found out by trial and error. By surviving. 

I know I can eat garlic. I know I can go out in the sun, although it burns me (sun-cream doesn’t help. Not even factor 40. I’ve learned that the hard way). I know I can cross water and see myself in a mirror. I know I need to drink blood regularly, but that I don’t need to take it from other people. I also know I want to – and that for some reason, the people I want to take it from most are also the people I’m most attracted to. (Or rather, from one person in particular.) So I know that sex and blood must be linked together in my brain in some horrific way that fortunately I haven’t had to fully explore yet. (Simon Snow’s disdain for me is a blessing in some ways.) 

--- 

Lots of stuff was cut from The Mage’s Heir: 

1. I switched this scene to Simon’s POV:

I let him kiss me. Then I let him take off his shirt. He sits on the edge of the bed, golden in the candlelight, and swallows as I open my mouth to show my fangs. Maybe it’s finally hit him. Either that or he knows what that swallow does to me.

“You’re sure?” I ask around a mouth of teeth, and he nods. “Bite me.”

And so I do – right where I’ve always wanted to bite him, at the base of the throat. I can tell it hurts because he stiffens and swears. His fingernails dig into my back.

Blood, incredible, warm and rich, Simony blood is filling my mouth, but I try to pull back anyway – then Simon relaxes and I have to catch him to stop him falling.

“Oh yeah,” he croons against my ear. “I knew it would be nice.”

It’s much more than that. I feel as though I’m on fire.

Gently, I lower him backwards onto the mattress, teeth still buried in his neck. My body is humming. And my erection is back - even blissed out Simon can feel it. One of his hands gropes vaguely around my crotch for a while. I rip the zip open and press his hand against me. He let me hold it there as I fuck myself rabidly against his hip and his hand.

This is from Part 2 and is about Penny bonding with Fiona over botony - but I thought that scene was going on for too long so it’s cut

I’m looking round at the plants. I think some of these are illegal in this country – things I’ve never even seen except on the internet.

“That’s moly,” Baz’s aunt says as I lean in to take a better look at something that looks like a massive snowdrop. “Useful stuff. It––”

“It repels magic,” I say.

She looks impressed. “That’s right. And it’s good for crazy people.”

“Are you’re sure it’s OK to have it in your house? Even the pollen could be dangerous.”

“Both of Bunce’s parents are on the Coven, Fiona,” Baz says pointedly.

“So were mine,” she says, unimpressed. “Anyway, I’ve obviously got a permit. Lapsed botanist,” she explains when I look quizzically at her. “But it’s good for field work.”

That makes sense, although I didn’t know there was anyone in London with all this stuff – I thought the Watford greenhouses were the best stocked, but even they don’t have moly (because it’s really dangerous). Baz never said. I’d have come ‘round earlier. Or if he’d told me his aunt was a botanist (even if she is lapsed) – it’s a really good magickal profession.

“Are we going to use any of this tonight?” I ask.

“No idea,” Fiona says.

Part 3 - this was the original opening - again, you’ll see i re-used some of it. I cut it once I realised that characters were literally saying ‘this is boring’ to each other

I wake up and it’s dark. And I’m on the floor. And I feel like complete shit.

I think about trying to sleep it off (that works sometimes), but now I know I’m on the floor it’s hard to get comfortable, so I sit up instead.

The good news is I don’t hit my head on anything. That means that Nicky didn’t probably hasn’t pulled the ceiling down, but now my head feels a lot worse because I tried moving it, and I still can’t see anything.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

I’m not really sure what happened, if I’m honest. I remember Baz telling me he had a plan, and I remember him biting me, although I’m not sure whether that was the plan or whether he just got carried away. I think I must have passed out after that. And now I’m here – alone, on the floor, in the dark.

“Baz!” I shout stupidly.

Nobody replies to that either.

I get up and walk forward until I hit a wall (not literally. I had my hands out). That’s good, though. It means I know where the wall is. I drag my hand along it until I find a corner (that’s great! This is a room with corners, I’m making progress) and along the next wall. This time there isn’t a corner, exactly – there’s an open space. And then a metal bar. After that, another bar.

That’s not so good. It feels a lot like this is a cell. I’ve never been in a cell before (though I’ve been locked up plenty of times, mostly with magic) and I can’t say I’m enjoying it now. Especially if I’m the only one here. Maybe I’m the only one they kept alive.  

“Baz?” I shout again. “Penny?” I’m really trying not to freak out. “Baz!”

“Shut up,” a girl’s voice says from somewhere I can’t see. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Sorry,” I say. “I’m just trying to find my friends. Do you know if they’re all right? It’s a boy with soft black hair and a girl––”

“Don’t talk to me. I’m ignoring you,” the voice says.

“Yeah. But have you seen them?”

When the voice stays silent, I smash my hands against the bars. The bars rattle – loudly – and it makes me feel better, so I kick the nearest one and then slam my shoulder against them. I don’t really expect the bars to give, which is good, because they don’t, but I know I’m pissing off the owner of the voice, which is something.

Then I think, why not actually try and get out of here? And I begin the incantation for the Sword of Mages.

I don’t really expect it work now I’m actually trying, but it does. The hilt materialises in my hand and I feel the comforting weight of blade, even though I can’t see it. I know it’ll be as sharp as ever.

My magic must be coming back. It’s coming back to me, like the sword did, but this time it’s my magic, my real magic. I’ll be a magician again, like Baz and Penny. I just took a break for a while, like Nicky did.

This is amazing. It’s actually amazing. Even though I’m still locked in a cell, and I have no idea where Baz and Penny are, I feel like laughing. This is so great.

Neither of them has ever said it (Baz actively denies it), but I know that both them wish I still had magic. Any magic. They both love being magicians. And I know they both feel sorry for me – for what happened, for losing the thing that’s most important to them. And they worry about me.

Now they won’t have to.

And it’s kind of like I’m starting again, right back at the start of my magickal education. The incantation is not only the spell I always got right, it’s also the first spell I ever learnt.

The Mage felt I should be armed from the beginning.

“It will be a burden,” he said as I swung the sword around his office that first day. “A heavy one. But you must be able to protect yourself, Simon – I won’t always be there.”

At the time I didn’t understand what he meant about it being a burden (It was a magic sword, a sword I could pull from the air just by saying a few words).

I do now, though.

He meant things were going to try and kill me and that I was going to have to kill them first, even though I was only eleven. I didn’t really mind back then, I just felt I had no choice. I guess eleven-year-olds aren’t really ready for the big questions.

“Use the sword well and it will always come back to you, so long as you are my heir,” the Mage told me. He put his hand on my shoulder. “Use with courage and with wisdom. Be worthy of it.”

“I’ll try, sir.”

“I know you will, Simon.”

And I meant it. Obviously. But over the years I was at Watford, I used the Sword of Mages for all sorts of stuff I probably could have used a less-magical sword for. Things like spilling blood for my room at Mummer’s House or opening tins of beans. It’s just, it’s easy to get used to things. Take them for granted. And the sword seemed to be all right with it.

But if I’m getting my magic back, I can start over – do things right.

Starting with breaking out of here. That seems like a pretty just and courageous thing to do, as I have to be free if I’m going to rescue my friends and my boyfriend from goblins. Assuming they need to be rescued (which at the moment I think I have to). I can’t wait to tell them.

I feel for the lock. It’s right at the edge of the bars where they meet the wall (as you’d expect, basically) and it’s got a big, obvious key hole. It’s probably locked with magic as well as iron, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

I swing the sword up and down about where the lock is. It cuts in, though not all the way through.

“What are you doing?” the voice from next door says as I brace one of my feet against the bars and tug the sword free. “Are you breaking out?”

“That’s right.”

I swing the sword again, hitting the same point, even in the dark (eight years of almost constant practice paying off). The lock cracks and gives. And the door creeks open.

Light flares in the cell next to me as I walk out into the prison corridor.

There are quite a few other cells, but the others are all empty except the one next to mine. And in it is a girl, like I thought, holding a small light in her hand like Baz does. Except that her hand is green, because she’s a goblin.

I didn’t think goblins locked up other goblins (I thought they probably ate them, which I’m glad I never said to any of them as it sounds a bit racist now I think about it). This one looks about my age, and she’s as gorgeous as Agatha.

“Take me with you,” she says.

“I thought you were trying to sleep,” I say.  

“That’s when I thought you were just a prisoner reciting the traditional first-night dialogue,” she says. “You know, where am I? Where are my friends? I’ve heard it all before.”

“But people don’t usually escape.”

“Not usually,” she says. “Because there’s a really good alarm system down here. That’s why we have to be–– Bloody Cap.”

Somewhere behind the door to this prison someone is running along a corridor – fairly fast by the sound of it, in heavy shoes.

“Forget I said anything,” the goblin girl says, extinguishing her light. “I didn’t speak to you. I’m asleep.”

I raise my sword to a fighting stance. “I think it’s just one person.”

Or I suppose, one person making a lot of noise and several other people who are aren’t. But they’ll all have to come through one door, so I should be able to take them all.

As the door opens, I shut my eyes in case they brought a bright light that’ll blind me. I hear the heavy wood of the door swing inwards and I bring the sword down and round in a wide arc. I’m just about to make it very hard for this guard to walk away from the fight (kneecap damage – I’m not going to kill him) when he says,

“Simon! It’s me – it’s Nicky.”

“Nicky?”

I pull back so fast I almost fall over. I open my eyes, and blink a few times, and he steadies me. It’s definitely him, not a goblin wearing his shape – I recognise his smell (leather jacket and strawberry vape). I don’t hug him, because I don’t like hugging most people, but I’m really pleased he’s alive.

“Is Baz OK? And Penelope?”

“Yeah,” he says. “We’re all fine. How about you? You’ve been out for three days. Healing magic’s a bit dodgy.”

I shrug this off because I don’t want to think about it right now. “Where’re are the others?”

“Upstairs.”

“Cool. Let’s go then.” I turn towards the other occupied cell. “Stand back and I’ll split the lock.”

The goblin light flares again and I see her standing at the back of the cell trying not to look excited.

“Well, hurry up about it.”

“Hang on, Lancelot,” Nicky says as I raise the sword. “I didn’t give you the message yet. You’ll want to hear it. It’s from His Nibs.”

I sheath the sword and it vanishes. “From Baz?”

That sounds good, it sounds like Baz is alive. (I am so fucking grateful Baz is alive.)

“Right. Essentially, he says, stay where you are, don’t attract any attention to yourself, and definitely don’t break out of prison. You can see why I thought it was a fairly relevant message at this particular time.”

“Baz wants me to stay here?” I say. “In a dungeon?”

“Not exactly the place to get over heavy blood loss, is it?” Nicky says. “I told you: Pitches care about magic and power and that’s it. But you can see how it would be awkward for him if you start running around the place, since he’s only king ‘cause he killed you.”

“What do you mean, he’s the king?” I say.

“Who’s the king?” the goblin girl says.

“My boyfriend,” I say. “Do you mean king of the goblins?”

Nicky scowls. “I knew you weren’t in on it, I told Fiona. Listen – if you want to start a revolution let me know. Otherwise, sit tight, eat this, and I’ll bring more news when I have it, OK?”

He’s pressed something round like a Coke can into my hand (the one that isn’t holding the sword). Now he claps me on the shoulders and shuts the door behind him.

“How can your boyfriend be the goblin king?” the girl asks. She’s close to the bars now, looking at me with undisguised scepticism.

“I don’t know,” I say. I think I’m still in shock – maybe Nicky’s right and it’s the blood loss. “He wasn’t yesterday.”

Except – shit. It wasn’t yesterday, was it? It’s been three days. (I’ve missed the start of term.)

I go back and sit in my cell. There’s nothing else really to do. In the light that’s still coming from the girl next door, I can see what Nicky’s given me is actually a tin of spinach – a tin of spinach without a ring-pull. I’m not sure how he expected me to eat it, but I guess I’ve got a magic sword I’m not using for anything else right now.  

“That man called you Simon,” the girl’s voice says. “You’re the Goblinslayer.”

I didn’t know they called me that.

“No wonder you’re hiding in a dark,” she says. “I would be, if I were you.”

It’s lucky I now trust Baz absolutely, because this doesn’t feel good. It feels like one of Baz’s family’s plans to get rid of me.

And it feels like it’s working.

this is the end of part 3... i don’t really remember it very well, although i do remember that i had massive trouble with the doctor wellbelove convo, because it’s a massive info-dump disguised as a scene

“The treaty with the goblins is going very well,” he says. “As well as these things ever do, anyway. Queen Ilex and I have a meeting next week to negotiate the finer points of the treaty.”

Ilex is Holly’s royal name.

“She’s attending the Coven later this month with some of her people, to get the treaty magically ratified by both parties. I’d like you to be there, if possible.”

I swallow. “To stand trial?”

Dr Wellbelove looks surprised. “What on Earth for?”  

“Because,” I say. Isn’t it obvious? “I’ve broken Mage Law, haven’t I?”

Dr Wellbelove nods. It’s definitely more than once.

“But,” he says, “you’ve also done what few others could have managed and helped reached a peaceful accord with a race of dark creatures.”

I shrug. I guess. I mean I was there, although I was unconscious for most of it. I wouldn’t say I helped.

“You may be interested to learn that one of the terms of the treaty was a complete ban on goblin consumption of humans, in exchange for animal livestock. Queen Ilex suggested it herself, although it seems the goblins have developed a taste for Scottish beef. I don’t need to tell you that will save many lives.”

“That was Baz,” I say.

“It wasn’t just Basil, though, was it?”

“Right. It was Penny’s plan that got us of there––”

“She claims it was your plan.”

“I guessed it.”

“And that it wouldn’t have been possible if you hadn’t already formed a relationship with the imprisoned queen.”

“Penny exaggerates,” I say. (Even though he said I wasn’t, I feel like I’m on trial here.) “I talked to Holly for, like, half an hour.”

“Well, how about we return to the numpties then?” Dr Wellbelove says. “You’ve already admitted you responded to a situation  

“That was Nicky!” I say.

Well, I guess I shout it. Dr Wellbelove looks surprised.

But it feels wrong. He’s got it all wrong. I know what it’s like to do big, important stuff and this isn’t it. I’m not the Chosen One any more. I’m not anything. I’m just trying to clean up my own mistakes. And the Mage’s.

“Because you asked him to.”

“Yeah.” I’m getting confused here. “No. I feel like you want me to say that I did all of this stuff, but I didn’t. I didn’t do any of it. None of it was me.”

this is earlier in part three - it’s penny’s POV. i really like that bit about there being worse people to turn into. might re-use it later. 

He and Baz are already all over each other, as though three days apart is unbearable. I chat to Holly the goblin while I wait. And keep waiting. (Micah and I haven’t been in the same country for three months. And it’s not as though there’s any reception down here so I can Skype him.) If you’re up for a round of snogging your boyfriend in public, you can’t be that sick.

Snakes, I think I’m turning into my mum.

I suppose there are definitely worse people I could turn into. Since Mum has almost everything she ever wanted and is pretty much always right. Just like I know I’m right now. Simon is – weirdly – OK.

and the same scene - simon’s POV

“Actually, I did tell you,” I point out.

I watch Baz mentally re-play the last twenty minutes to find out that yes, actually, I did tell him. And he was too busy fussing about his wand.

He shrugs. “Whatever.”

I don’t mind. Him not apologising means he’s not feeling stupidly guilty any more. I lean into him and he frowns.

[nutellaninja0001]

I love and admire Sansa Starks character because I don’t think fans truly grasp just how much strength it took just to survive growing up in King’s Landing as a prisoner of war and the grace needed to handle it the way she did.

The one thing that truly angers me about this fandom is their blatant ignorance of her character. For years, time and time again Sansa is painted as the “weak” damsel in distress because she was unable to escape King’s Landing and was unable to physically fight off those who abused her for years. They miss the entire point of her character. She’s not supposed to fight with a sword. She’s not supposed to survive this world using magic. She’s still here without having all that shit at her disposal.

I resonate with her character because as someone who’s grown up in an abusive situation it’s not always possible to leave. It’s not always possible to protect yourself and you need emotional strength everyday just to keep going. And Sansa does. Not only does she survive, she does it all with grace and never lets her abusers sour her the way they try. A key example is Cersei but we will come back to that later.

This meta will be focusing on her arc from the end of season 1 to the early episodes of season 4 so it will get long.

She has to handle the likes of Joffery. Sansa was Joffery’s plaything to torment. He murdered her father, forced her to look at his head and those of her household, and still, Sansa did not break. She’s 13 when all of this begins and instead she looks Joffery in the eyes and tells him perhaps Robb will give her his head.

What happens when she say this? We all know.

In this moment Sansa learned she could not speak out and if she was going to survive, she had to keep her true emotions to herself and continue on. She ends her season 1 arc realizing all that she knew of the world and royalty was a lie and from here this is her ivory stage when season 2 begins.

Can y’all imagine how hard this must have been for her to say? She’s sitting next to the boy who murdered her father and she musters the strength to look Tyrion in the eye and repeat what she has learned with zero emotions behind it. She detaches herself from this moment so that neither her tone nor her expression could be used against her. But anyone with half a brain cell can see right through it. I’m not going to get into this scene as a whole, but even at this age and already everything that’s happened to her she will not let it change who she is.

She stops Joffery from brutally murdering Ser Dontos and finds a way to not only manipulate Joffery, but save a man’s life in the process all at the risk of her own safety. Her kindness never diminishes and that isn’t easy in the face of such horror.

She received regular verbal and emotional abuse from Cersei who enjoyed mocking and terrorizing her just in a different form from her son’s preferable physical abuse.

She must sit with Cersei and play a part of a happy young girl who’s betrothed to a boy who enjoys abusing her and a family who is actively fighting her own. This whole scene is agonizing for Sansa as Cersei reminds her she will do her duty regardless if Joffery murders her brother. As they speak of her family as traitors and Cersei watches Sansa’s every word. She’s on the verge of tears throughout it but does not let them slip and instead continues playing her part. It’s a horrible scene for Sansa but truly amazing at the ability this girl has in moments like this.

The abuse by the hands of the Lannisters doesn’t ease up.

She is taken in the throne room, stripped threatened, and beaten while the whole court watches and does nothing in this moment. She is powerless to stop the abuse and when she is thankfully rescued from further abuse by Tyrion, she keeps her head high and repeats the words.

If I was a 13 year old girl and had just been beaten by a grown man, I sure as shit wouldn’t have been able to speak let alone kept a straight face and walked out with dignity. This is her subtle resistance that no abuse will break her no matter how hard they try.

Continuing with the horrors Sansa is assaulted and nearly gang raped during a riot. That in of itself is completely terrifying and later we see causes Sansa to develop PTSD. But when Shae is tending to her wounds she is not hateful. She has every right to be afraid and angry but she only asks why the the common folk hated her and if she had food to give them, she would have.

She shows compassion even for those who literally attacked her and has no lingering hate for these people. I respect the shit out of that kind of empathy so big in someone so young and again, her kindness towards other isn’t shaken after seeing how ugly the world can be.

She stops Sandor, and says she should have come sooner to thank him for saving her earlier. She challenges his bitter outlook and asks why he’s so hateful. Yes, Sandor has been through some serious shit and it’s turned him into the hateful man he is today. This is why it’s so important that her spirit is not broken even up until this point.

Another moment is when Sansa gets her first period and is immediately terrified by the realization she can now bear children for Joffery. She is just a child here and is already forced to fear womanhood by the patriarchal society that she used to do everything “right” by. Now, it’s no longer the future she dreamed of with Joffery. She doesn’t sit ideally by and skip to Cersei of what has happened. She even attempts to hide it along wit Shae before she is found out and is unable to do anything.

She’s taken to Cersei as Cersei, in her own way, tries to pass on some “womanly wisdom” to Sansa on this day. This is an interesting scene for characters like Cersei and Sansa in their position as queens who’s only talent will be recognized in society for their ability to bear children. I don’t think Cersei is trying to mock Sansa here. I do believe she is trying to teach Sansa the things she has learned over time but, it’s subtle in Sansa’s rejection of this particular piece of “wisdom” “love no one but your children.” We see Sansa hold the importance of family very close to her heart and later on with Jon, Bran, and Arya, Sansa doesn’t hold back in her love for those around her.

Possibly one of my favorite examples of Sansa’s clever wit is when before the siege by Stannis, Joffery calls her over to kiss his blade and further torment her that he she will possibly kiss the blood of Robb off his sword. She subtly manipulates Joffery and even tries to encourage him through the poking of his ego that he should go to vanguard as the most dangerous part of the battle.

It goes right over Joffery’s head and he’s not even aware of what is happening. The only one she cannot fool with her real intentions is Tyrion who time and time again sees Sansa as she plays this part and admires her for this performance.

Unfortunately, as she awaits in the room with Cersei and the rest of the ladies, Cersei is drinking and picks out Sansa to keep her occupied. It’s clear from these scenes Cersei’s resentment towards Sansa comes from how much she sees her former “stupid” self in Sansa. Again, Sansa must play the part with her words that she is praying for Cersei and Joffery.

She’s mocked for praying, called a fool, forced to drink, must endure Cersei’s drunken bitterness of her duties as a queen while she even brings up the possibility of Sansa being raped if the city should fall. Note, Sansa was nearly gang raped just a few episodes before this. Cersei tries to advise of ruling through fear but we see later on in the series that Sansa does not keep this idea as she becomes a woman her people truly respect and want as their ruler. An accomplishment Cersei herself never learned.

Sansa’s kindness is showcased beautifully again when Cersei believes the battle is lost and leaves the room while the ladies began to become very frightened. Remember, these are the same women who sat back and snicker at her, and watch as she is beaten. She’s in the room with the same man who took her father’s head and will kill her too if the battle is lost. What does she do? She reassures these women and calms them with a hyme. Only leaving when Shae tells her to. Showing herself as more of a queen than the queen herself.

When she gets to her room, she finds Sandor. The man she was told to fear. He’s drunken and covered in blood with an offer to come away with him. She’s a 13 year old child alone with a man who openly admits he enjoys killing people. Instead, she looks him in the eyes and tells him “You won’t hurt me.” Sure, he’s shown her some resemblance of kindness in the past but it’s hard for anyone to say what he would do when he’s already defied his king and abandons the battle. But above all Sansa shows courage in this moment.

Season 2 ends with Sansa’s betrothal to Joffery ending when the Tyrells come to KL and she’s unable to hide her joy when she leaves until Littlefinger comes to tell her she still isn’t safe under Joffery’s rule. We won’t get into all of it, but it’s another example of just how much Sansa was constantly in danger while in KL in more ways than one.

Season 3 picks up with Sansa as the target for so many around her. Varys, the Tyrells, Littlefinger, the Lannisters. They all see her as a piece and not a person and she is forced into situations beyond her control. A very, VERY overlooked moment of courage and strength is showcased once again when she has lunch with Margaery and Olenna who’s only point to having her here in the first place is to seek info about Joffery.

She’s probed and probed on the kind of person he is. Remember, she doesn’t know the Tyrells well at all. She’s putting herself at a huge risk if she tells the truth. We see Sansa constantly needing to remember her words because one slip and she’s dead.

But she does go through with it and looks Olenna in the eye when she says Joffery is a monster. That ^^^ took unbelievable courage under the circumstances and I don’t see how fans can miss the weight she was under and how careful she had to be at all times.

Her hope of escape and perhaps a chance at a happy life or, at the very least, somewhat of a happy life are within reach with a betrothal to Ser Loros and it’s taken away just as soon as it appears. Instead, she’s forced to marry a man twice her age and into the family she loathes, who’s only intentions are to still her claim to Winterfell and usurper her ancestral home from under her. She’s left with no choice but to go through with it and she keeps her head high throughout the ceremony. Even after Joffery threatens her with rape and she must await with a drunk Tyrion expecting the night to end with having to sleep with him whether she likes it or not.

She’s 14 during all of this! And it’s amazing just how much Sansa has endured throughout her time in KL.

We end the season with the reaction shot of Sansa after the news of the Red Wedding. She cannot say a word or express any type of grievances towards the death of her mother and brother publicy and she’s still within the clutches of those who were behind it. She’s still married to Tyrion and is still very much the property of the Lannisters. Tyrion knows there is nothing to say to her and walks away.

Season 4 begins with Sansa still greatly affected (and rightfully so) by the aftermath of the Red Wedding. She isn’t eating nor is she sleeping and can only think of the gruesome ways on which her family was brutally murdered. Again, she is 14 and handling all of this completely alone for the most part but what’s extremely resilient of her shows in the next episode when she is confronted by Ser Dontos.

Lastly I want to focus on her last two scenes in KL before Joffery’s death and she is smuggled away.

Her conversation with Ser Dontos and at Joffery’s Wedding.

When Ser Dontos comes to give her the poisoned necklace, he also thanks her for saving his life and I’ve brought this up before but, look at her reaction.

It’s a small, but very important example of Sansa’s kindness. She doesn’t even believe she did anything special and shrugs it off as nothing even though it was a HUGE act of bravery. Especially when compared to how everyone else witnessing the act does nothing but can only look on not wanting to get mixed into the mess or consequences of speaking up.

This reminds me so much of the rest of her siblings who see it as simple decency even if it’s downright fucking heroic of them.

Now the wedding. Joffery’s wedding is anything but pleasant for her. She must sit as Tyrion’s wife while Joffery takes every chance to torment both Tyrion and Sansa. Starting with the big preformece of the war of the five kings parody. One of the performers as Robb Stark. She must watch as her brother’s who’s death is still very, very, fresh be mocked.

She can not say a word but instead looks on at the act with a straight face and is unable to show any signs of pain. That alone is not an easy thing to do. Especially given the circumstances! But she continues to play the part she’s played for years and doesn’t shed a tear.

Her last show of resistance in KL is when Joffery is being especially petty and obnoxious towards Tyrion, forcing him to be his Royal cup bearer as he drops his cup and forces Tyrion to get it from under the table. Sansa breaks this act as she reaches down to hand Tyrion the cup. Subtle, yet open defiance of what Joffery is doing to Tyrion in this moment and she doesn’t even need to say a word.

She’s smuggled away while Joffery is dying and so ends her arc in King’s Landing since her arrival as a young child.

It had been painful for Sansa in so many ways and what I respect is she never loses who she is. She never stops being kind, decent, empathetic, and she never forgets who she is as a Stark. So many have tried to break her down but her inner strength stays true. She grows, damn right. She learned a lot, fuck yeah. But she comes out the other end not bitter nor broken. She’s always been a survivor and as we’ve seen time, and time again that’s not an easy thing for characters in this story. Especially a young girl like her. And I respect the hell out of that and can relate to far more than I could any other character in the series. She’s taught that you can’t always fight those who hurt you, but that doesn’t mean they can win.

Sansa Stark wasn’t ever the girl who was supposed to drop kick her enemies or burn them alive. She was the girl who’s eniemies made a grave mistake turning her skin from porcelain, to ivory to steel and she’s all the better for it.

[fallxnprxnce]

How affected would Nuada be if his sister Nuala had the iron malady. Also if that happened, how do you think that would affect Nuada's plans through out the film? You got this! Continue working hard online and offline and I'm sure things will work out! Have a frabjous day!

Okay first of all I just want to saythat you get 1,000 positive karma points for even mentioning my own fictionalillness that I came up with in your ask? Like wut? Thank you for payingattention and even caring about my little brain children? You’re awesome? =)

And again, sorry for this taking a ridiculousamount of time for me to finally answer, but I wanted to really give it somethought and not just write a tiny thing. Today is the first day I’ve had bothtime and motivation to write in like a week.

Also omg, I am trying to muddlethrough these last couple months of work but both my jobs are kicking my assright now. Mid-May, they both will end, and then I’m off until the end of June,so I just need to make it that far, heh.

Now let’s get down to business. XD

If you are reading this and you’re newto this blog or you just haven’t ever heard anything about the Iron Malady, it’s a fictional illness Icreated for one of my literary worlds. I made it more to deal with theissue of high or forest type elves being taken as prisoners of war by humans orsubterranean elves and placed in cells, or to deal with how they feel when theyare very far from home, away from their home forest, not in a forest, or areotherwise around a lot of human technology and civilization. Building on the common headcanon in a numberof fandoms that elves’ emotions are so potent as to have the ability to directlyaffect their longterm mental and physical health, the Iron Malady is an illnessthat arises from the intense feeling of hopelessness or dread that all thatthey have known is lost, that they will never see their home again, or that theworld is changing around them too fast for them to handle. A feeling of beingleft behind, becoming obsolete, or “homesick” for times and places they feelthey can never recapture. That’s a veryquick and general synopsis, but for those who wish to read more, I will directyou to this post where I describe itin more detail, discuss symptoms and stages of disease progression, and discussremedies to ease suffering and/or cure it.

So… how Nuada would react to Nualagetting the Iron Malady would depend upon whether their soul bond would conferthe illness onto him as well. I feellike if she was laid up with the Iron Malady, Nuada would be too, or at leasthe wouldn’t be far behind her. This is for two reasons: 1) they are physicallylinked, so all physical symptoms would be experienced by Nuada in real-time, 2)he would feel her emotions through the bonds, and the very definition of theIron Malady is that it’s brought about by intense feelings of sadness, grief,and hopelessness… which I think would massively affect him, and 3) just knowingshe had that illness would devastate him because I headcanon that that’s whatthe twins’ mother died of, and also just because he would know if Nuala hasthat illness that she must be suffering very badly emotionally. So my veryshort answer would be that he would become ill too, and without anyone to takecare of him, he would die, so both twins would die. If he returned to hispeople and got help, he could be in recovery for weeks if not months, so allother plans of his would be delayed by that amount of time.

Of course, having said all of that,that even assumes Nuala can get theIron Malady, which I believe she can’t. It begins as an emotional illness, afeeling  of intense dread, grief,sadness, etc., and Nuala seems incapable of that sort of emotion. (Disclaimer: Iwill insert at this time for those of you who were just like whaaaaaat? at thatstatement that I am not a fan of Nuala and I tend to have very harsh andpessimistic views of her. If you like her, I do not mean any insult and you arefree to love her if you want. Just take what I say within the context that Ihave a rather low opinions of her as a person haha.) I am not certain exactly the reason why she has a flat affect most ofthe time with regard to the fate of her people, but it has to be one of thesethree:

1) She doesn’t care. It could be possible that Nuala really just doesn’t care whether elves fade or not.If I wanted to be really mean and wallow in my pessimistic views of her, Imight want to say this, but I actually believe this is the least probable causeof her apparent apathy.

2) She can’tcare. It could be, and I think this isentirely likely, that Nuala has just been alive long enough, has seen enoughsuffering, has felt enough pain, and has pondered this subject long enough thateverything has… well… kinda… broken her brain a bit, heh. Not to say she’scrazy or anything, she’s not. But just in the sense of… sometimes you feel somuch that you redline and end up not emoting at all? Does that make sense toyou all? Like if everyone is pushing and trying to get through a doorway but theyall get jammed, then nobody gets through. What if her mind is the door and heremotions are the people pushing to get through? If she could emote, it would bevolatile and explosive, just like Nuada, but she can’t anymore.

3) She’s too wise to care. This sounds nasty, but it really isn’t. Truewisdom is seeing the big picture. It’s stepping outside of yourself, yoursituation, away from material things, away from trivial everyday things, andseeing the grander scheme of everything. Often times when one reaches truewisdom or enlightenment or whatever you want to call it, it involves not onlyan understanding of the greater picture and a detachment from personal desires,but also patience and compassion for others. This results in an enlightenedperson viewing strife and war and suffering as if they are watching TV. Notthat it isn’t real, not in that sense… but as if they are outside lookingin. They don’t place themselves in the situation or empathize, but rather theypractice patient compassion. What’s the difference? Empathy is when I identifywith what you’re going through because I’ve been through it myself or Iunderstand what it must be making you feel, and that makes me either sad foryou or really want to help you. I become personally emotionally involved inyour suffering. Patient compassion is very calmly looking at someone who issuffering and saying, this is difficult for you but you will get through it,and I understand that until you do, you will be upset and not yourself. It’sattributing all suffering to want, desire, and a lack of getting what you wantas far as the material here and now. It’s looking at someone who is in a rageand very calmly saying, I understand that this angers you, and I recognize thatyou are not wise enough to know that this too shall pass. I understand that itwill take time for you to work through this, and that until then, you may beunfit to live with.

I think it is very likely that Nualahas this very serene, wise, enlightened way of looking at the world. It rendersher not really able to get overly excited about much, because to be excited,upset, angry, etc., you have to be invested emotionally. She is an observer,watching life but not overly participating in it except in a few ways she feelsfurthers or maintains the greater good. Nuada and Nuala truly are yin and yang,for she is temperance, patience, understanding, and long-term, and Nuada isvolatility, impulsiveness, intolerance, and short-term. But I feel that that’sbecause Nuada never removed himself from the emotional equation. He’s allowedhimself to feel centuries of injustice, death, loss, and degradation of hispeople, and that has done very damaging things to his mind. Nuala may seem likea whole and better person on the surface, but that is because she has declinedto become emotionally invested in her people’s struggle, which I find shameful.But… it would protect her from falling victim to the Iron Malady.

Alright, SO… Now that we’ve gottenthat out of the way, IF… Nuada did not immediately come down with the IronMalady just by association with Nuala and IF… Nuala was actually capable offalling into the emotional valley that gives rise to the illness… now what?

In the HellboyII universe, I say the Iron Malady arose in elves who feared that their wayof life was falling apart, that it would fall apart forever, and that theywould fade. That despairover their situation of having to live underground, or seeing the humansoverpopulate and all of that, gave rise to this wasting illness that, even whenproperly treated, some simply do not recover from. Nuala and Nuada’s mother wasa kind, loving, and gentle soul, but she was also a fragile one, and she wasnot able to recover. Nuala… I believe would recover with the proper treatment,but that’s anybody’s guess. But even if we’re going to say that Nuada wasn’tphysically affected by the illness, he would still be aware that she had it.Actually, you could argue that he might be able to stop if before it happens,if he really wanted to, because he would be able to sense her emotionally goingdown that path long before it manifests itself in illness. He’s used to beingshunned and shut out by his sister, but if he felt real sadness from her? Ifshe reached out to him for help? You can bet your ass he’d be there for her.

So… I do not ship Nuala and Nuadaromantically or sexually. Yes, I know it’s canon. Yes, I don’t care. XD Butjust because my Nuada isn’t in lovewith Nuala does not mean he doesn’t love her. He loves her like a sister,certainly, and like anyone bonded to someone by their soul for the whole of his life would be. Nuada and Nuala do not have a traditional sense of self because of thisbond. They may exist apart from each other, but never knowing anythingother than feeling each other’s joy, pain, illness, sadness, happiness, wounds,etc. as their own… makes for a bondthat really can’t have any clear labels. That’s part of the reason why Nuada isso angry with and resentful of Nuala, because shunning him is like shunning apart of herself and like denying him a part of himself. It’s as if Nuada was awart on her finger and she decided to, quite literally, cut him off. But…having said that… because of the nature of this bond and Nuada’s own very openand emotional nature, there is no way for him to cut her off completely. So if she came down with something like theIron Malady, all bets would be off at that point. Fights wouldn’t matter.Differences wouldn’t matter. Insults, slights, grudges, bones to pick, none ofthat would matter to him anymore. All that would matter is being there for herand seeing her get well again. He’d worry about the rest later.

His plans for the humans would absolutely takea back seat to being there for his sister.He would return to the “palace,” assuming this is happening before he killsBalor, and would stay there with his sister until she was well again, and basicallywould not accept no for an answer. It isn’t like he would forget about what hewanted to do as far as assembling the crown, gaining the Golden Army, or exterminatinghumans, but rather his sister’s life and well-being would supersede all of thatin his mind. I can’t say that he would be surprised necessarily if she was toget the Iron Malady, but it would only strengthen his anger for humans. He’s alreadypissed off that they killed his mother, the way he sees it, but now his sisteris ill? Hell no.

Also, on a very basic and selfishsense, he would realize that if he doesn’tmake sure Nuala is cared for in a suitable manner and she dies, he would diealong with her. So if he ever intends on going through with his plan, heneeds to make sure he’s alive to do it. I can see this creating an even widerrift between Nuada and Balor, simply because he resents his father for hismother’s death. He feels he did nothing to save her, or at the very least, didnot provide her with enough support in life to prevent the illness fromhappening. Nuada would make sure the same thing doesn’t happen with Nuala.

He would make sure that Nuala was notjust feeling better but had been feeling better for some time before herevisited his plan again. This isn’t like a… take two Advil and call me in themorning sort of illness, heh. It takes weeks or months for a person to recover,and even after they do, they are prone to relapse if they are not taught how tobetter manage their depression or are not left with enough of a support system.I suppose if Nuala really wanted to discourage Nuada from his plans, the bestway would be to tell him that she needed him to stay with her in order toprevent a relapse. But that would assume he’d believe such a thing, heh.

But those are like… ultimate “I getthe Army and then I dead the humans so hard” plans. What about other supportingplans along the way? There are a fewthat I think would be either put off or nixed entirely if Nuala was sick withthe Iron Malady…

He wouldn’t kill Balor. Perhaps that whole thing might have gonedifferently if Nuala hadn’t been there to give consent for Balor’s death decreein the first place, but if she had the Iron Malady, Nuada would right suspectthat killing their father wasn’t what would bring Nuala out of her sadness. Infact, that would only exacerbate it tenfold.

He wouldn’t use the forest god in the way hedid. If anything, he might have brought itto Nuala first and shown her look, one of these still exists and I’m incubatingit, to make her happy. Not… “and then I’m going to use it to kill the hoomins,”haha… but just… “look, there is hope yet.” Maybe the poor forest god would havehad a better ending (or beginning?) and a much deeper meaning if it had beenused in that way. Great. I just gave myself a sad.

He wouldn’t care as much as Abe trying to makemoves on Nuala. Nuada doesn’tlike Abe for a lot of reasons, and he doesn’t think he is worthy of his sister,but… just like with Balor, now is not the time to attack someone she clearlycares for. For the sake of her recovery, I could see Nuada allowing Abe tovisit her. Supervised visits, ofcourse. XD

Nuada’s biggest problem during this timethough, would be not falling victim to it himself. Seeing his sister with the same illness hismother died from would take Nuada to a very rough place in his mind, and Ireally think it would be difficult for him to not fall into a depressionhimself. He would most likely want to stay in her room, sleep by her beside,basically never leave her. He would start regretting things he said and did toher, would start wishing they had been on better terms, all of that. So therewould be a great deal of regret and guilt involved in addition to just thesadness of seeing someone he loves laid up like that. So I think he’d be luckyif he remained entirely healthy himself during this time.

But yeah, that’s my 2 cents… of 5dollars, since this was long as hell, haha… but I hope I answered everythingwell enough! Thank you for sending  thisin!