#this drawing took 46 minutes

[sansthepacifist-art]

[undercoverpigeon413]

First art commission finished! They're the characters the order-er[?] and their friend are playing in a campaign I'm running :] [Currently in a fun little enchanted forest that move and warp around them just bc they're silly like that]

[a-trans-transfomersfan]

Some yummy art for yall

enjoy or something I dunno.

+Speed paint, yall can watch the terrible process

[starlightazriel]

bee 10

series desc: modern best friends >lovers au(fem reader, tattoo artist coke boi az haha) part 10 psa: not everyone will like this part lol don't kill me borderline domestic violence/abuse

warnings: 18+, rough sex where reader is drunk(blurry consent lines, i know i have issues im sorry), unprotected sex, spanking, praise, bj, possessive az, dark az, more groveling, drug/alcohol addiction, az having lots of inner monologue, self loathing, depression

a/n: canon az would never do this omg hes an angel with women bee series az however is a hot mess PROCEED W CAUTION!!!! kisses xoxo

AFTER COMMENTS RECEIVED I ADDED A POLL FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS REWRITE OR PART 11 VOTE HERE

wc: 4.7k

other parts can be found on my az masterlist<3

ten

Azriel was watching the front door for hours. He knew she was back in town, he saw Kat's story. Y/n standing next to her, drink in hand. A grin, bloodshot drunken eyes, swollen from crying too, a tiny jean mini skirt, a crop top that was definitely Kats as it stretched too tightly over her generous breasts, nipples rings showing through the taut fabric. It had taken everything in him not to throw his phone through the flat screen. She was out looking like that, and he was here, miserable, sober besides all the weed he had smoked, which didn't do much for him anymore.

12:23 am.

He did clean up the house a bit for her... He couldn't let her walk into the mess he had created. He started with all of the trash, moved to the dishes, put any paraphernalia away back in his room, picked up all of his clothing strewn about the house.

1:37 am.

Fuck. The drawings. Azriel hesitated in front of her door, though he had been spending a lot of time in there recently, knowing she was back in the city, it somehow felt like a violation. That was ironic, considering how all of this had even started between them. It took effort not to physically cringe when entering her room, and his stomach twisted, cheeks burning at the realization that she had been in here. She had stopped here earlier before going to Kats. There was her bag. Right there, in the corner. His eyes settled on her bed, three of his drawings laid there carefully. He swallowed thickly as he looked at the drawings, each one made in the peak of his mental breakdown he had been going through since she left. One was of their hands, his own scarred flesh against her delicate smooth skin. One of her by herself, laughing, happy, his gut twisted. The last, of them kissing, him holding her face in his hands, tear stains dotted the page and that feeling of guilt that he was all too familiar with lately settled, dragging him down with it.

2:01 am.

Fuck. What the hell was she even doing? Where was she? He let out a heavy sigh before he picked up each and every one of the messy drawings he had done and brought them into his own room, shoving them deep into the filing cabinet by his desk. That was when the pacing about the entire house began— he couldn't possibly sit still now.

2:22 am.

Twenty minutes of pacing wasn't him doing any good, so on went the TV, he thought some cartoons should make him feel better and he settled on CatDog. Another spliff, some chips, cartoons humming in the background. It was better than going out of his fucking mind wondering what she was doing. Which he was still doing— but at least the mindless cartoons helped to drown out the voices screaming in his head, and the insatiable desire to do a line. He had forced himself to stay sober today... He wanted a clear head when he spoke to her.

2:46 am.

Azriel froze when he heard the doorknob turn, his heart beginning to pound wildly. He hadn't seen her since that night on her parents porch. What was she going to say? He had been preparing himself for the worst.

"You cleaned," a small hiccup, flushed cheeks, nervous, sad eyes avoided his as she entered the apartment. She was looking around, anything to avoid eye contact.

"I did," he rose to his feet, dropping the end of the spliff into a the ash tray he had been using. He took a few strides closer, freezing in the hallway when he finally got a good look at her. Lipstick smudged across her lips, hair disheveled, stray pieces falling around her face and eyes.

"Az," she whispered, her eyes widening slightly as they met stare that was growing angrier with each passing second, the emotion emanated from him, filled the apartment like a heavy shadow that pressed into her chest, that made her want to cower away from him.

He didnt know what it was, what over came him but he was in front of her in an instant, long scarred fingers grabbling her face, jaw clenched, grip tight around her own jaw, her cheeks squished, smudged lips smushed together. She's afraid of you, stop. She yelped quietly, eyes wild, wide with fear as she stared up at him, a pleading look in her eyes.

Stop now.

"What the fuck did I say?" it was a low growl, deep from his throat, she was drunk, he could tell, she could barely keep herself up, her knees wobbled, both hands curling around his arm, trying to pull him off of her. He knew this wasnt okay— no this was wrong, so very wrong.

Let her go.

"Az," she whimpered softly, her eyes glazed with tears.

Fucking stop— irreversible damage Azriel, stop now, before you can't.

"I told you not to fucking play with me. You fucking reek like booze and you look like a cheap fucking whore," a lie, his eyes flashed as it passed his lips, she thrashed slightly trying to free her face from his grip. "Stop fucking moving," he grunted, releasing his grip on her face to grab her neck, his fingers squeezing against her soft flesh, he felt her swallow beneath his grip, his blood thrummed.

"Az stop," she begged, her fingers still wrapped tightly around his arm, eyes wild and nervous as her nails dug into his skin.

"This is mine, its all mine," he rasped, his other hand roaming roughly over her body, "I swear to fuck— y/n if you gave my pussy up," he nearly choked on the words, his blood boiling and stomach churning at the thought.

This is wrong Azriel— stop, stop now. You should be on your knees begging forgiveness, stop.

This wasnt him, this wasnt supposed to be happening... This was his father— this is how his father treated women, not him.

"Az, I didnt," her voice broke as she rasped, her eyes were afraid but also— tender, because she knew him, she knew he didnt mean to treat her this way, she understood him on a level that no one else could.

"I should slap the fuck outta you for coming home like that," his fingers loosened on her neck, a sigh of relief escaping her lips with the motion. He didnt mean it, he would never hit her, his chest tightened, her eyes flashing as his words sunk in.

What the fuck is wrong with you? She's never going to talk to you again.

"Im sorry," she slurs softly, her glazed gaze dropping as if she couldn't look him in the eyes, guilt settled on her face. No, this is my fault, don't do that, don't look like that because of me.

"Don't be sorry," His voice was still firm but his eyes softened, swallowing the lump in his throat. I don't deserve you, run. Fucking run. "Just be a good girl and take off your whoring outfit," he finally loosed his fingers from her neck with a gentle push and she stumbled back, wobbly on her feet, she's drunk as fuck, don't fucking do this Az, this is fucked. Youre fucked, youre fucked in the head.

"You missed me didnt you?" she relaxed again allowing a small drunken giggle to escape her lips, she steadied herself on the near by side table before beginning to undress. His eyes followed her movements as her fingers slid over her silky skin and she slowly unclasped the dainty clips on her high heels revealing the fresh looking French tipped toes, his mouth watered at the sight of her.

Tell her how much you miss her. Tell her the truth, tell her youre sorry. Put her to bed Azriel, change her clothes, put her to fucking bed you sick fuck.

Anger outweighed his desire to do the right thing, he couldn't stop himself, what if this was his last chance to fuck her? To feel her?

"Keep going," he encouraged, his hard cock aching in his pants, pressing against the fabric of his sweats, he could feel the precum leaking from the tip, painfully so, he hadn't gotten his nut off since last time they'd fucked weeks ago. He watched as she slid the little mini skirt down her long smooth tattooed legs, many of them he had done himself. She looked so fucking good, shit he'd missed her. "Mhmm," he hummed to himself, his eyes burning into her skin, not looking away for even a second. She shimmied off the crop top next, her braless breasts bouncing deliciously as she freed them from the tight top. A soft involuntary groan escaped his lips at her now near bare body before him. He took a step toward her, placing his hand under her chin and tilting her head up so he could inspect her, she shivered slightly at the touch and he pressed his thumb lightly into her chin, his eyes raking over her bare skin.

"Azriel," she whispered, squirming slightly under his gaze, he froze at the small purply spot behind her ear, a little hickey.

"Oh youre so fucked," he let out a soft breath, poking the small bruise, she let out a small yelp, flinching away from him.

"Az! What is wrong with you?!"

So many things.

"What is wrong with you?" a soft growl escaped his lips, his eyes growing darker with each second that passed, he reached behind her, his body pressing against hers as he did, her breath caught, her eyes wide as she stared up at him. In a swift motion he cleared everything off of the side table in the hallway, the ceramic bowl that held their keys cracking on the floor, she winced, opening her mouth to say something but he grabbed her chin tightly again, forcing her to meet his gaze. "You come into my house, at almost three am, dressed like a fucking thot with a hickey on your neck, face all fucked up," he released her jaw aggressively, her head thrown to the side slightly, she let out a soft whimper, rubbing her chin. "Who gave it to you?" he demanded, placing his hand on her shoulder and whirling her around, pressing her against the table so her hips were flush with it, another small whine escaped her lips.

"It doesn't matter Az-"

"Tell me," he growled softly, his hand connecting with her ass in a sharp smack, she flinched, her hand finding the edge of the table and she held tightly. "Tell me," a warning edge in his tone

"E-Eris!" she yelped out softly, bracing herself for the next impact.

"Yeah, youre so fucked," he chuckled dryly, without an ounce of humor in his tone. Rage was coursing through his blood, red, red was all he could see. Fucking Eris, why? Why him? He didnt know why it infuriated him so much, maybe because he was so different from Azriel, practically opposites. How could she even be attracted to both of them? His pale perfectly smooth skin and red hair like the fucking devil, immaculate cleanness, infinite pockets and endless confidence and suave. He hated all of it.

"Az please," she begged, and he was too angry to even acknowledge the damage he knew he was doing.

"Youre soaking wet," he yanked her thong down, exposing her bare ass to him, his mouth watered again at the sight. "Is it because you like when I rough you up like this?" another smack to that same reddened spot on her bum followed by another soft whimper, her fingers gripping the edge of the table tightly. "Or is it because you like redheaded pricks?"

"Both," she bit back, her words slurred, he laughed again, that same humorless cold chuckle before his hand connected with her skin again, the sound echoing through the quiet hallway. A shaky breath released from her lips as she braced herself for more, her eyes squeezing shut.

"Makes me sick you let him put his hands all over you. Act like a whore get fucked like one," his gravelly voice laced with intent as he released his hard cock from his sweats, they pooled on the floor at his feet as he wrapped his fingers around his thick length. She gasped softly, wincing at the sting as he slapped his cock on the round of her ass in that same spot he had spanked numerous times. His teeth sunk into his lower lip, cheeks flushed with anticipation, he had missed this.

"Youre mine, you understand me?" he asked, his tone sharp as he slid his leaking tip over her entrance, he hissed softly under his breath at the feeling of her wet cunt on his most sensitive skin.

"Yes Az, yes I understand," she rasped softly, another soft yelp leaving her lips as he shoved his cock into her, a low guttural groan leaving his lips. He had missed this so much.

"Good girl," he ground his hips against her ass, pinning her against the table, another small cry left her lips as he pulled his throbbing cock nearly all the way out and back in, the table shook beneath them. His thrusts were greedy, quick and unforgiving as she fell apart beneath him. Her pussy clenched around him, the tip of him dragging across her g-spot with every forceful stroke.

"Az," she let out a broken whimper, her mouth falling open, face twisting in blissful pleasure as she came all over his cock. He rasped a breath, surprised he hadn't been the one to cum first. Maybe she had been wound just as tightly as he was.

"Oh?" he breathed out, panting softly from the pace, small beads of sweat forming at his temples. "You came already?" he asked, a prideful smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he ground his hips his cock filling her up so perfectly, her creamy release leaking around the base of his cock. She only whined softly in response which was only broken up by a soft yelp when he abruptly yanked his cock from her. Azriel grabbed her shoulder, pulling her up on wobbly legs before pushing her down on her knees.

"Go on," he grunted, his eyes glazed as he stared down at her, she was drunk as hell. He swallowed, wrapping his fingers into her hair and tapping his cock on her face, she loosed a breath, her jaw dropping open for him. She gagged as his cock hit her throat, not nearly fitting, he moaned, holding her head in place and fucking her face. "Fuck baby, good girl," he panted softly, his cheeks flushed, eyes glued to her, she moaned around him, her eyes squeezed shut, tears forming at the corners of her eyes as he brushed the back of her throat over and over. He hummed in approval as she swirled her tongue around his tip, dragging it along the underside of his cock, over his balls and then back up, her lips wrapping around him again.

Azriel cursed under his breath, his fist tightening in her hair as he released his thick ropes of milky cum into her mouth, she nearly choked as it shot to the back of her throat, one of her hands gripped the back of his knee tightly as she swallowed every last drop and sucked his cock clean. She panted, shrinking down onto the floor a bit her knees nearly buckling beneath her. He released her hair as she sunk down, a shaky breath escaping her lips as he did, his gut wrenched at the sight of her. On the floor beneath him, body dusted with red marks that he knew would turn to purple by the morning, he left them there. Azriel swallowed thickly as he tucked his cock back away into his pants before leaning down, putting his hands under her arms to lift her.

"Come on, get up," his tone is soft as he helped her up, once she was on her feet he easily he picked her up, and she rest her head on his chest as he brought her to the bathroom. "You feel lighter... You eating?" he asks, the guilt beginning to gnaw at his gut.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Fucking sick piece of shit.

"Mhm," was her only response, he let out another small sigh before setting her down on her feet. "Where's all my pictures?" she slurred softly, her eyes raking her her room.

"Put em away," he muttered, a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he rifled through her clothing retrieving a soft cotton pair of panties and a long t shirt.

"I liked them Az," she mumbled lazily, her eyes closed as he dressed her in her more comfortable clothing. He winced a little at her words

"Bed time," he breathed, steadying her on her feet before scooping her up in his arms again, and placing her into her bed. He tucked her in, pulling the blankets up to her chin and tucking them around her body.

"Why didnt you tell me you were moving to Vegas Azriel?" she asked, her words still slurred, he swallowed hard, tugging at his hair as he sat on the edge of her bed.

"We should talk tomorrow," he muttered, knowing she probably wouldn't remember the conversation if they had it now. She only nodded, her eyes still closed. Azriel reached out hesitantly and gently rubbed her back as she fell asleep.

He stayed there, watched her sleep, the soft glow from the string lights she had put up along one of her walls the only thing iGuilt gnawed at his gut, at his insides, he wanted to jump out of his own skin.

She deserved so much more than him... The little girl that he had shared his favorite candy with in front of her house, the girl that had saved him, so many times— she deserved the world, and he couldn't give it to her. He couldn't even keep her happy, the dark circles and the drop in weight proved that. It was his fault. All of it.

All day, he had gone all day without a single line.

And now— after he had taken advantage of her, put bruises on her, fucked her while she was too drunk to say no, said horrible fucking things he didnt mean...

Now he needed a fucking line.

-

A soft groan escaped my lips as I rolled over, pain, I was in pain everywhere— felt like I had been hit by a damn bus. My head pounded from the amount of alcohol I had consumed, my pussy was still lightly throbbing, completely beat up from last nights activities.

The house was quiet, but still my head throbbed.

My mind was fuzzy but I remembered pieces, remembered that I had made out with Eris, come home late, Azriel had put his hands on me- we had fucked. I groaned again, pressing my palms into my aching eyes.

Obviously, Azriel was out of fucking line— out of control. I hadn't thought our situation could get any worse, and now, impossibly worse.

Could I blame him for his actions when nobody taught him how to love someone? When I knew that his need for control had rooted from the childhood horrors he had once faced? Could I blame him for his actions when I knew his brain had developed around abuse and violence? No, I couldn't blame him.

Maybe I was in denial, but underneath it all? Still my Az.

Waiting on the counter for me was a latte and a breakfast sandwich from my favorite cafe, next to it a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it, my chest swelling at the bouquet he had drawn along with a few bees flying around it, the drawing was messy a few ink splatters where he had pressed the pen down too hard, but still beautifully done like anything he touched with his artistic ability. A small message scribbled at the bottom.

hope its still warm when you get up im sorry if you don't completely fucking hate me stop at the shop before your shift, i love you, azriel

Still my Az.

I sighed, frustration beginning to bubble within me. Always lax, always acting like everything was just fine. I was tired of it, I was tired of always just pretending like everything was okay when that dark cloud of depression had reared its ugly head weeks ago.

It was an effort to shower, to get dressed, I didnt have the will to put any makeup on besides a little mascara afterwards. Every movement felt heavy and painful and full of more effort than it should, but it wasnt only my physical condition from drinking an ungodly amount and Azriels- outburst. It was also my emotional state- my brain so utterly exhausted from all of the trauma I had been enduring in the past weeks. I couldn't even bare to look in the mirror for more than a few moments either, the fingerprint shaped bruises dusted along my jawline highlighted by the brightly lit bathroom.

It was even more of an effort to get myself out of the car when I reached the shop. Anxiety gnawed at my gut, would they ask? Would they even notice? It didnt matter, I needed answers. I needed answers to questions I hadn't even formed yet. The bells chimed as they usually did and the stares I received upon my entrance didnt do anything to sooth my anxious gut. The lack of clientele in the waiting room definitely helped, a little.

"Hey," I said wearily to Kat and Cass, I avoided eye contact at all cost, and found my usual place leaning against the counter. Kat was in her chair behind it, Cassian perched on a stool nearby.

"Hey boo," Kat says quietly, I could feel Cass' boring into me. Don't bring it up. I could tell by his lack of greeting he was about to.

"Y/n, please don't tell me Az did that," Cassians voice is soft but I could hear the concern laced in his tone.

"Is he here?" I ignored his question completely, I didnt want to get into it. Not now.

"Hes doing a tattoo, Cassians room is empty tho— if you wanted to wait for him, its been a couple hours, hes almost done," Kat didnt pry, she knew better, and Cass didnt protest when she offered his room up without asking first.

"Thanks," its slightly breathless, with an effort not to burst out in tears in front of them. I couldn't handle the worried stares— the pity. The door clicked shut behind me and I dropped my bag on Cassians piercing bed and slid into his chair. Alone, now, I let the tears of frustration flow freely. They were silent, but hot and streaming, I wiped my eyes with my sleeves, letting out an exasperated sigh.

I didnt know how long it had been when I heard his voice outside, I held my breath to listen. "She's here?" surprise, hopeful surprise.

"Az— Im not past putting you on the floor if you put your hands—"

"Im not," Azriel cut him off with annoyance. I straightened, realizing he was about to be in here.

I sniffled, wiping my eyes again quickly to try and hide the evidence of my tears before Az stepped in, in all his brooding glory. His face was grave, eyes impossibly more tortured than usual, hair messy and disheveled, chains stacked, poking out from under his shirt, he was in the same clothes that he had been in last night and it didnt look like he'd gotten an ounce of sleep.

"Leave it open," I commanded softly, I saw Cassian quickly look away and back toward Kat as Az began to shut the door. Hurt flashed in Azriels eyes, but he stopped, leaving the door where it was. It wasnt wide open, but open enough.

"You don't trust me," it wasnt a question, but a statement, and he was right, to an extent at least. I didnt think Az would hurt me— after last night... I wouldn't feel bad for asking him to leave the door open.

"Youre fucked up," I muttered when our eyes met, his pupils always a tell tale, he swallowed, his throat bobbing with the motion. "Probably should have this conversation another time."

"I was always fucked up Bee, every fucking moment I was fucked up— it doesn't matter," he took a step toward me, I held my breath again, my eyes tracing every movement he made. "Im sorry." Another step, I bit my lip, my cheeks flushing as I watched him drop to his knees in front of me.

"Sorry doesn't fix everything," my voice broke, he winced, his eyes boring into mine, showing me a vulnerable side Id never seen before.

"I know that," he breathed, and I almost broke all over again seeing the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. "Im so fucked in the head Bee nothing I did last night was okay- fuck- it was- Im sick Im sorry," he rambled, he slid his hands into his hair, his fists curling into it, his elbows on either side of his head.

"Its not okay none of it— the fucking bottle girls, the lying, last night especially... I- you asked me last night why I kept Vegas from you and I have nothing- I have no good fucking answer or excuse that makes it okay but I swear I was gonna ask you to come with me, like fuck y/n I wish you could see I wish you could understand—" rambling again, I let him, my tears flowing again, words failing me. "I would let Rhys fucking sue me for breaking contract before I would leave this fucking city without you," his cheeks were flushed, tears running down them, I hadn't seen this before... As well as I knew him he never showed this much raw emotion, besides anger. "I know Im a fucking addict and a fucking alchy, but Im trying to be better, I went to AA, Im trying to quit drinking, but Im fucked Bee- Im so fucked up from all the shit Ive never faced and Im so fucking sorry I put that on you lastnight."

AA, he had done that for me, my heart ached for him. To hear him say those things about himself, in front of his friends, my heart ached knowing how hard all of this must be, but for me, he was doing it for me.

"If you never forgive me I deserve that, I honestly do Im a piece of shit— a fucking stain on your very existence you deserve so much fucking more than someone like me," I wanted him to stop, I wanted him to stop saying all of those horrible things, as angry as I was at him.

"Im so fucking sorry," he breathed again, his voice breaking, with a sob. Az, my Az, the one who hid behind that cold stare and never let anyone in, the one who never let that hard exterior crack... Was on his knees for me... Every word, Kat and Cass could hear every single word, they could hear him cry, hear his confessions his countless apologies and he didnt care. He didnt care that they knew, he only needed me. He needed me like air to breathe.

And I felt it, I felt it with every ounce of me because I needed him just as much.

So I didnt hesitate when I reached for him, when I pulled his hands from his hair, and pulled him to me. His body went limp, his knelt form hunching over as he let his head fall into my stomach.

"It's okay Az, breathe," my voice was soft as I stroked his hair, holding him close to me while he cried.

I knew it wasnt okay, none of it was, but he needed me and I needed him, and the rest I would figure out later.

-

a/n: wow they are toxic and codependent hahaahahaha NOT FULLY PROOF READ EXCUSE MISTAKES

taglist<3: (if you changed your username and still want to be tagged lmk, or would like to be added to the list)

@smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies @durgenyx

[k0libra]

Phew, this one was not easy to draw! I am satisfied with the final result though. Procreate says that the piece took me 9 hours 46 minutes and 7840 strokes haha.

Hope you like it too! :> he's just chilling

The picture was referenced from one of the virtual photos that @singularity-ps4 posted on their twitter

[jomunson]

50 ed headcanons i been thinking about

1. washes his hair with bar soap

2. doesn't like coffee

3. his father is in jail and his mother passed when he was 11

4. secretly gets really scared when it storms

5. says "hubba bubba"

6. gets super miserable in the summer, he burns super easily

7. swims with goggles and a snorkel

8. wears his hair in a towel when he gets out of the shower

9. super good and confident with flirting with men but really awkward and flustered with flirting with women

10. will say "is this guy bothering you, babe?" if you ever run into furniture

11. love language is words of affirmation, he wants to know you don't see him as a freak

12. sleeps with a garfield plush he's had since he was a boy

13. really bad at fishing, like he'll actually catch a boot when he goes on trips to the creek with wayne

14. burps the abc's

15. took his driving test drunk

16. when he gets home from school he's tired from being a tough guy, he reads a book and smokes before falling asleep

17. thinks people are pranking him when they ask him out

18. wears silly red and pink heart designed boxers

19. really sweet with the kids who live in the trailer park

20. will leave a handful of change as a tip

21. can only cook spaghetti. only spaghetti.

22. biggest fear is the koolaid man coming alive

23. minute man munson (iykyk)

24. will ask people to name 3 songs if their wearing a band tee

25. put lipstick on one time and felt pretty

26. prefers apple juice over orange juice

27. absolutely loves halloween

28. extremely competitive

29. hits people when he's excited/laughing

30. sits really close to the tv like an ipad kid

31. moans while getting beat up to make it awkward

32. extremely allergic to cats but loves them to death

33. birthday is april 19th 1966

34. has skinny dipped w his bros in lovers lake

35. fein for chocolate chip pancakes

36. eats skittles for lunch

37. tried to do a karate kick and ripped his pants once

38. calls his van his baby

39. lifts his leg when he farts and thinks it's peak humor

40. won a goldfish from the fair and fed it crushes doritos for 4 months and cried when it died

41. writes reminders on the palm of his hand and it gets smeared on his face

42. always cuts his face when he shaves on accident

43. when he draws and has to erase he does it so hard it rips holes in the paper

44. feels cool because he doesn't carry around a backpack at school

45. scared of moths

46. has lost pencils in his hair

47. flips his boxers inside out so he can wear them longer

48. has to be told to shower

49. tried to pierce his ears and sobbed and then they got infected

50. his nose gets the brightest red in the winter

[ingydar-phan]

Just joined tumblr, so it is indeed time to share my newest DNP art!! Shall i also upload the speed draw? This took me 3 hours 46 minutes, over the course of one very brainrotted week. Anywayz go vote for #goldenphil and pls perhaps reblog and comment on this? Maybe? Side note HOW ARE PEOPLE COMMENTING ON MY POSTS I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS APP AND WHG CANT MY REPLIES SEND

Edit: lmaooo i couldn’t comment because my email wasn’t verified. I can now. 💀 @serendipnpipity

[bubbleteanightlight]

Behold, all of my entries to the first volume of the Wings of Fire Graphic Novel Redraw Project! This project was hosted by Malak in December last year

All seven of these pieces were drawn by me in the past several months, and I will place them in order of creation (mostly) below, accompanied by timestamps of their completion and how many hours I spent on each

Page 30 (46 hours, 45 minutes) completed on March 29th, and page 125 panel 3 (4 hours, 46 minutes) completed on March 12th (30 was started a long time before 125, hence 30 being placed first)

Page 201 (75 hours, 3 minutes) completed June 2nd, this one obviously took forever and it was very experimental, but I learned a lot making it!

Page 138, panels 3 & 4 (6 hours 14 minutes) completed on August 3rd, and page 172 panels 1 & 2 (12 hours 29 minutes) completed on September 1st. I really wanted to draw Peril, you see.

Page 5, panels 4, 5, & 6 (4 hours 36 minutes) completed on September 9th. Look at baby Clay!!! So precious, I gave him fawnspots and made a bunch of theories about how different tribes’ offspring start off and develop based on their parenting customs and natural environments

Page 172, panel 3 (exactly 11 hours) completed October 4th. I spent waaaay too much time on lighting for a single panel, but it’s so worth it. Look at it. I’m so proud of it.

I spent a bit of an unnecessary amount of time on each, but I improved a lot this year, largely in thanks to all of this! Before I started drawing these, I didn’t tend to draw fully fleshed out scenes or even backgrounds, but now I’m confident enough in my skills to start making proper scenes more frequently (notably my fanart for Finders Keepers)

Now, time to go crawl in a dark corner and continue drawing little dragon people for hours on end

[yorutsuki]

「 ✦ Isekaied Reversed Pt. 5 ✦ 」

↳ Your nutritions had slowly decreased overtime, thus you needed to head out for a grocery trip! Surprisingly, you ran into a cat and, unfortunately, as well as trouble.

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It's been approximately 46 days since Xiao made his arrival out of nowhere.

Over the course of the days—weeks, the two of you slowly bonded as time flowed, albeit it was rough the first few weeks, your relationship with him gradually blossomed.

Comparing since a few weeks ago, you've gotten to the point where he could be comfortable enough around you to let his guard down for a while—even better that he didn't draw out his spear with every corner he turned.

In all, you guys were mutuals at best—which was quite progress in your book.

.

"You have to be shitting me."

Xiao's eyes glanced over to you, his brow raised.

You sighed, closing the fridge. "We're out ingredients."

You walked over towards your bag, picking up your wallet which thankfully had money—around a rough $50. Unfortunately, that would mean you'd have to save up once again.

Xiao took notice if your downed mood, before squinting his eyes, trying to get a glimpse of the problem.

You felt a feeling of eyes watching you. Looking over towards the origin of the feeling, you saw Xiao looking towards you, well, the wallet. Seeing he got caught, he quickly averted his gaze like nothing happened.

You eternally chuckled at his shy actions, before your midn reminded you of your problem.

"Well, Xiao. Looks like we're running out of stuff." You huffed with a grimace before starting to put on your shoes. "I'll be back in uhh..20-30 minutes tops."

Xiao looked towards you before giving a slight nod.

Making your ways to the door, you grabbed your keys, phone, earbuds and wallet before turning the doorknob though swiftly turned around, "right! Do you need anything while i'm out?" You asked the yaksha who shook his head. "Don't spend your money on me, or unnecessary things in general." He sighed. You frowned.

You couldn't tell if that was worded weird or if he really did see himself as unnecessary. Nonetheless, you pushed those thoughts away before giving him a thumbs up but closing the door behind you.

You thought for a minute, looking between your wallet and the door.

'am I listening to that? Hell nah.' You grinned before heading towards your apartment elevator.

.....

Making your way down to Safeway, you yelped and tensed up as you felt something furry brush against your leg.

Quickly looking down, your muscles relaxed when finding out it was only a cat and quite a cute one too.

It was a Edgyptian Mau. It's fur was black with some gray and white spots around it's body. Though it's eyes were the most captivating—they looked like a vibrant sunset.

You were quite surprised that an Egyptian Mau was around this area but decided not to look to deep into it. It was probably someone's pet who ran off and ended up in this dump. Though, that wouldn't stop you from giving it a little pet.

"Aren't you a cutie~" You smiled with awe, kneeling down towards the cat to which the animal slightly staggered back. It calmed down though as you put your hand in front of you, letting it sniff it before melting into your hand as you lightly scratched it's jaw.

"Man, I wish I could take you home.." You whined lightly before sighing as you stood up, the cat letting out a needy call, looking up towards you for more scratches.

"Sorry buddy, I gotta get some things from the market." You cried internally as you looked down at the furry creature. Your heart breaking at seeing it's sad face.

Persevering, you looked away, a single tear falling down as you began to walk away, trying your best to ignore the meows of need.

....

"Tofu...tofu.." You mumbled, trying to recall what isle the food was. Unfortunately, while lost in your train of thought, you felt someone harshly bump into you, causing you to snap back to reality.

The person merely grunted with a harsh, 'watch where your standing' which received just as harsh of a glare from your end.

"Idiot." You muttered before going back to your task.

...

Finally after you payed, you left the store, two bags of groceries-one in each hand.

As you exited the store, you subconsciously scanned the 'lot for the black splotched cat.

Your slightly frowned upon not seeing it anywhere. 'Probably ran back to it's owner.' you shook your head, continuing your way home.

As you walked along the street, you heard small paws running a bit behind you along with desperate calls.

Turning around, you saw the cat once more, only it looked rougher—like it had just came out from a low-grade shelter.

You dropped your bags as it clawed onto your legs, meowing. You slightly hissed at the stinging sensation from the new marks as you picked it up—it trying to hide up onto your shoulder.

"Poor baby, what happene-" Your words were cut short when you suddenly heard shouting. "Give the damn cat back!"

Looking ahead, you saw the same man from the store, holding a...bat?

You had a feeling where this was going so, picking up your bags quickly, you made a run for it as the shouting behind you grew louder.

'fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck!' You screamed mentally, your legs and arms growing tired with each push but you didn't dare stop. That man seemed restless and merciless, plus, he was right behind your trail.

Unfortunately, you were hit in the shoulder by something hard. Your body giving up as you hit the hard concrete with a thud- the cat standing by you with it's hairs sticking up as it hissed with aggression and fear.

You saw the man try reaching for the cat, though you intervened, by grabbing his hand and biting as hard as you could. The man grunted loudly as you heard a crack and suddenly tasted metal in your mouth.

You grimaced at the metalic taste and gagged a bit.

"You bitch!" He shouted at you before kicking you in the ribs, in return you let out a winded yelp.

As the man saw your stunned state, he went for the black Mau, grabbing it by the back of the neck. Though fortunately, the cat retaliated by scratching the man's hand though led it to be thrown harshly aside. "Fuckin' creature, i'll deal with your shit later." He hissed before turning to you.

You tried getting up only to be hit back down with the same back that knocked you in the first place. "Thats!-" He hit your shoulder, "-for stealing what's mine!" He shouted before he went to strike you at your head, though thankfully you blocked it in time with your arms—feeling a pounding sensation within them.

Suddenly, you looked to the side, finding a very convienent brick. As the manw as distracted, you picked it up and rammed it into the side of the man's ankle.

He shouted curses of pain, giving you a brief break. Unfortunately, it didn't last long before he shouted, going for your head as well as taking a few breaks to kick you around.

Your eyes were teary, feeling bruises forming already. You felt weak and heavy-your body betraying your mind as you screamed it to get up—to do something than lie on the floor helplessly.

"Y'know this wouldn't happened if you just handed us the damn critter. The only person ya' can call for now, tis' God." He snicked, enjoying the sight in front of him.

But something clicked in your brain, and hopefully it worked.

"Xiao!"

The man watched in amusement as you called out a name. "Saying your final goodbyes?" He laughed huskly, but you only gave a grin, "Not quite." You smiled weakly. He stared confused at you but grinned, looking down at your pathetic form.

Suddenly, his view of you was blocked by something, well someone.

Looking up, he was met by a familiar yaksha, his spear centimeters away from his head. He only grinned with amusement once more. "What is this? Some type of costume party?" He laughed though it came to a brief halt and replaced with a winding grunt as he was kicked backwards a few feet on the street.

The man shouted slurs and insults towards the masked yaksha who only replied with silence.

The man's anger grew with each second as he stood from the ground, bat in hands before trying to strike the boy. Unfortunately for him, he was no match for a yaksha. All his strikes were dodged and returned with precision, sharp, powerful and agile blows from the back of the boy's polearm.

Ultimately, near in the end, the man ended on his rear, looking at the immortal in fear before he scurried to get away, embarrassingly. "Keep the damn cat then!"

The yaksha glared at the retreating figure before turning towards you, his mask disappearing onto his belt.

As he helped you get to your feet and wrapped your arm around his neck for support. You saw a glint of concern in his eyes, making your lips curl into a small smile. "Thanks for that back there." You grinned but faltered as you grunted, making Xiao's concern grow.

"Is anything broken?" He asked, his voice stern as ever.

You shook your head, "I don't believe so, just a few-" you were cut with a wave of pain electrocuting you. "-I take that back, a lot of bruising." You chuckled as the adeptus sighed.

Your brows furrowed in worry, glancing back to the animal on the ground. Xiao's gaze followed yours as his expression hardened.

He sighed, knowing where this was going.

.....

Over the course of a few days, you recovered quickly though on the second day, your whole body ached and you ultimately stayed in bed for 24 hours.

As for the cat, he recovered quite quickly as well—almost too quick. It was like a miracle with everything his body took. Though during the few days of resting and even after, it appeared that the cat took a major liking to the adeptus.

As the adeptus would bring you water or check up on you every once in a while, (though albeit when your not noticing cause he's like that 💀), the cat would be at his side, looking towards you then up to him in worry.

Sometimes he'd be laying next to you but ultimately stayed with Xiao most of thetime.

By day 4, you felt as good as new—a few bruises left but they were like small pebbles in the road.

....

You huffed in defeat as the cat curled up to Xiao's lap.

'wasn't I the one who risked my life for you?' You groaned in annoyance, but it quickly disappeared when seeing the calm expression Xiao carried. If you looked closely, you could see a very faint smile.

You smiled at the sight. "So...what do you think we should name him?"

Xiao snapped from his small trance, "why do we need to keep him?" He asked. Your brows furrowed, "I don't want him to be abandoned. I don't think he has a owner and..I don't want that guy to come after him again." You spoke softly, before smiling, "Plus, I think he really likes you."

Xiao's brows furrowed before he sighed, mumbling something.

You looked up to him, cocking a brow—curious to what he said. "What was that?"

"Qíji. His name." He muttered, looking away towards the ground.

You looked at the yaksha in slight surprise before mumbling the name. "Qíji.." You smiled before looking at the peacefully sleeping fur boy, "well then, welcome home Qíji."

Well look at that, looks like you did get Xiao something after all.

.

.

.

A/N: THAT WAS A LONG WRITE-, I tried making it as least as cliché as I could 😭. But yep, here's part 4, by what part do you guys think Xiao and Reader will end up together??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also, feel free to write comments! I love reading them and they keep me motivated! :D

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

For the Touches ask game:

Some combination of 46 from hand holding, 9 from hand holding and/or 50 from touching for Christopher Pike please and thank you 💕

Send me a touch prompt!

Of course Elen!! I hope you're having a lovely weekend :)

Prompts: holding hands across the table; secretly holding hands under the table ; putting a hand over the other’s mouth to shut them up Warnings: Power imbalance; early relationship dynamics; mostly fluff

“I’m sorry.” 

“What are you apologizing for?” You shook your head, expression washing with confusion as Christopher took hold of your hands across the small table. He smiled, shaking his head a little. 

“It shouldn’t have taken us so long to go out properly.”

You shook your head again, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. 

“That’s nothing to apologize for.” 

“Still—” 

“Should I apologize for you for not making the time in our off-hours?”

His brows furrowed, head shaking a bit as he offered, “No, of course not.” 

“Exactly. So why is the onus on you?” You tipped your head to the side a touch, watching as Christopher smiled bashfully, ducking his head. “We got here, that’s all that matters. It’s more difficult when we’re on duty. Shore leave is a convenient relief.” 

“I’ll say.”

“Captain!”

The call of Uhura’s voice made you yank your hands back from his on instinct. You shot him an apologetic look before you turned to give Uhura a wide smile. It faltered as you saw her trailing through the restaurant with Chapel and Ortegas in tow. 

“So much for a quiet afternoon,” Christopher muttered. 

“Maybe they’re just coming to say ‘hi’.” 

But your hypothesis was thwarted when the three of them began to pull up chairs. Erica began to tut about not being able to look out over the star’s landscape, and Christopher was quick to get up, taking up the empty seat beside you. 

“I don’t mind,” He insisted, settling in. You bit your cheek to fight back a smile as he took hold of your hand beneath the table, out of view of your crew mates. You thrilled at the hidden touch, intertwining your fingers as you fell into conversation with Chapel. It was only a few moments before Christopher fell into conversation with Uhura and Ortegas. 

“How did you find this place, anyway?” You heard, and before you could stop yourself, you yanked your hand out of Christopher’s, slapping your hand over his mouth. The entire table fell silent as you felt everyone turn to look at you. You forced a bright smile on your face, offering, “We should get appetizers!” 

-- 

“That was subtle.” 

The meal that you'd shared with your crew members was still heavy in your stomach as you and Christopher walked away from the restaurant together.

“What was?” You grumbled. You didn’t want to delve into it, even with Christopher’s fingers intertwined with yours. He tugged you to a stop, drawing you into an alley, out of view. 

“...I panicked,” You admitted softly, leaning back against the wall. He stepped closer, casting a wary glance around the corner before crowding closer. 

“I did a bit, too,” He reassured. 

“I’m sorry—”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Chris,” You sighed softly, lowering your gaze to your feet. He stepped closer, gently nuzzling your temple. 

“I just mean that I understand,” He insisted softly. You nodded, sighting off the swelling nerves in your belly. 

“I know.” 

Christopher rested his forehead against yours, and you couldn’t help the swell of your smile at the feeling of him so close. 

“We should get back to the ship,” You murmured. 

“In a minute.” 

“And what’s going to happen in a minute?” 

“Well, I could show you—” 

“Or?” 

“Or I could tell you, but I think a practical explanation should be more efficient.” 

“Oh?” You raised your brows. “How practical?” 

“A little hands on, if you’ve no objection.” 

“None whatsoever.” 

[dalchiid]

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 46

A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.

Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader

Word Count: 6,076

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut

Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.

I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.

DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.

Chapter 46 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession, Self-deprecation, Mentions of feeling violated, Angst

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Your eyes hurt from crying so much. Just the reminder of why you're here talking to Yoongi makes your chest ache but you needed to talk. Maybe it was stupid of you because the vampire before you has his head cradled in his hands after he heard what you had to say but it's too late to take it back now.

Yoongi stays silent with his fingers halfway through his hair. He grips the strands tightly and loosens them after a second. The way he goes without answering makes you freak out a little making you rub your hands between each other.

"I'm sorry," you say. "I shouldn't-"

He cuts you off with a finger raised in your direction effectively silencing you. You swallow deeply and wait for him to sit up with a deep sigh. Licking his lips he looks towards the ceiling and just stares until he can finally find the right words to tell you.

"You know if Hoseok finds out about this that's it. You're never leaving his room ever again."

You ball up your hands into fists to stop the way they shake. "I know."

Yoongi turns to look at you. "And you're not joking, right? You actually did this?"

He won't say exactly what you told him. How you and Namjoon have been sneaking behind Hoseok's back to hook up. How just a couple of minutes ago you did just that. Right before Namjoon told you the truth. The way he took your heart and broke it apart so ruthlessly. The sound of his laughter still rings in your head.

You nod before looking down at your lap.

Yoongi releases another sigh but this time he sounds absolutely exhausted. As if hearing what you said is draining him dry. A thought strikes you then causing you to nervously look his way.

"Do you think he'll tell Hoseok?"

Yoongi shakes his head. "Namjoon is stupid but he's not that stupid. He knows that if he does say something Hoseok will never let him live it down. They may be brothers but that's a grudge I don't think Hoseok will ever let go of." He scratches his face. "Why though?"

Your brows draw together in confusion. He sees your reaction and elaborates further.

"Why did you tell me all of this?"

You shrug. "I hate being here but after what just happened it's also come to hurt. I don't want to be here anymore and if not Minjeong you can help me get out."

He purses his lips as he looks off towards the side.

You know you really hit him hard with bad news that's making him question your sanity you're sure. And you also know you put him in a precarious situation between two brothers with their own issues. You can't imagine how this is making him feel right now but you hope this plea of yours will be heard.

Turning his attention back towards you he hums. "I'm going to need some time. You know that, right? We need a time where some if not all my brothers are gone from the house and it cant be obvious that it's me who helped you escape. I was the only one home when Minjeong left. If the same happens with you people will start asking questions. And Seokjin's lapdogs are already hot on your heels. I'm actually surprised no one caught you and Namjoon while knowing that."

You hate it but you know he's right.

Yoongi sighs again and crosses his arms. "And you need money and a place to stay."

"I have money," you say.

"From where?"

"From my old job. I saved up a lot."

He quirks a brow up in interest. "Did you open the account yourself or did the Baeks do it?"

You frown a little. "They did it for me."

He sucks his teeth. "You need to take that money out if the account is still open. They could close it whenever they want. I'm actually surprised you still have access to it... You do, right?"

You nod your head but then you send a questioning look his way. "When would be the best time to take it all out? As you know I'm stuck with Hoseok most of the time."

Yoongi purses his lips while he thinks. "It's not your first time leaving the house without him. I can take you out in guise of just wanting to spend time with you. We'll take all your money out then."

"Okay," you softly say.

"All that's left is to find you a place."

"Maybe Minjeong can help with that?"

"I don't have her number."

"I do."

Both his eyebrows raise in interest but before he can ask you answer.

"The day at the mall when we ran into her, she managed to pass me a note with her number on it. I have her listed under a different name so that if Hoseok finds it he won't know it's her."

Yoongi slowly nods his head. "Alright. Maybe we can work something out with her." He continues to nod until something hits him then. "Wait."

You hum questioningly. "What?"

He sends a look your way you don't like.

"What are you going to do without my brother's saliva?"

Realization dawns upon you then. Fuck. He's right.

This always seems to be the topic of conversation when it comes to these vampires and the option to go to a rehab looms over you.

As if he knows where your mind is going Yoongi speaks up.

"If you go to a rehab it'll have to be far from here. Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to find you the minute he knows you're gone and I don't doubt one of the first places he'll look into are rehab centers."

You don't want to go to a rehab. You didn't want to back when you were with your former Masters and you don't want to now either, but you're left with little options.

"I doubt Minjeong would be willing to help with that," you say but Yoongi shakes his head.

"I don't know if Minjeong's saliva is anything like ours but even then don't think about it. I'd prefer you make it out of here with me knowing you'll get some help."

Your form visibly deflates but you know he's just trying to do things right. The high is the only good thing about Hoseok and you're going to miss that. Tremendously.

Yoongi takes a deep breath in and gives another sigh with it. "Talk to Minjeong when you can and whatever she says relay it back to me. I want us to be on the same page. For now though we'll have to act like nothing is up. You can't leave just yet."

You nod before you're hit with a thought. "What about Namjoon?"

Yoongi hums. "Hoseok can't know anything."

"I know but I really don't want to be in a room alone with him... Not after today."

He sees the way a wave of sadness falls over you and hesitantly places a hand on your shoulder.

"Stick with Hoseok as much as possible. If he offers for you to stay with Namjoon let him know you'd rather be with him. Don't be too obvious about wanting to avoid our brother though because he'll suspect something is up."

You nod along to his words.

"And if for some reason you end up alone with Namjoon ignore him. I know that's easier said than done by don't take whatever bait he throws your way. Even if he says he wants to apologize don't fall for it. It'll just be another lie of many more to come."

It hurts knowing that this is how things are going to be between you and Namjoon. You enjoyed being with him. Fell for his affection that you now know to be fake. You wonder maybe if you wouldn't have confessed to him would he still have pretended to be yours?

You don't want to think about it. The wound is too fresh right now.

"Hey."

You look at Yoongi who gives you a soft look. He squeezes your shoulder gently before releasing you.

"It'll be okay. You'll see."

You can only hum in response.

He stands up from his bed and walks over to his nightstand where his phone lies. Picking it up he checks for the time and looks at you.

"It's going to be a while before Hoseok comes back. You're welcome to stay here until he does."

You look down at your bare feet and the shoes that lie by your side. You could stay here but right now you feel gross. After having done what you did with Namjoon - back before now you would have glowed but now you just feel dirty and used.

"I want to wash up first." The words leave you softly.

Yoongi grabs the remote that was next to his phone and turns on the TV. "Well when you're done you know where to find me."

You give him one last look before you grab your shoes and stand.

To be honest you don't want to be alone and you're thankful Yoongi is giving you a place to stay until Hoseok gets back. For now though you need to hide and lick your wounds so you can begin to heal. Even if you never fully do you need to at least try.

When you leave his room you look around you. Two maids are heading down towards the stairs and don't notice you coming out. You look off towards the direction of Namjoon's room but you don't see him. You wonder if he's still in there or if he left but you're not about to stick around and find out.

You hurriedly make your way to Hoseok's room and slip in. Once the door is closed silence is all that joins you. It's deafening after everything and you can't stand it.

Sighing you make your way over to the closet and drop your shoes off where Hoseok keeps them. You find fresh new pajamas and toss the ones from before and the clothes you wear now into the hamper. More than anything you want Namjoon's scent off of you and you actually feel bad knowing Hoseok will be able to smell him if he passes by the hamper. Not because you feel for Hoseok but because it'll serve as a reminder that you were with his brother. It makes you remove them and pull out some of the clothes that way you can bury them deep within the basket. With that done you head towards the shower.

You turn the water on and set it for something warm. Warmer than usual. As that settles you look into the mirror and see how puffy your face looks from all the crying. The sight of it makes your brows draw together as you frown.

The urge to cry is still there. When you have your heart broken that will happen to you. You feel stupid and embarrassed. Were there any signs you should have looked out for? Maybe there were you were just too absorbed in your emotions to care.

Namjoon's laughter still rings in your ears and the sound of it makes another wave of embarrassment to come over you.

Gods you're so stupid. When will you learn not to trust people so easily?

Fresh tears pool out of your eyes. You can't bring yourself to continue staring at your reflection so you turn around and head to the shower.

When the water touches your skin you welcome the slight burn. You need to wash yourself off of Namjoon. You feel violated in so many ways.

"I should have gotten you to jerk me off before breaking the news."

A broken sob leaves you and you find yourself full on crying now. You have to sit on the seating in the shower and cover your face as you cry.

It hurts. So much. Why did things have to be this way? Why do you have to be in so much pain and all because Namjoon saw you as fresh game? You were nothing but entertainment for him. Entertainment that willingly gave themself up. How could you be so stupid? There's no other answer to that other than that's just how you are. Stupid. It honestly makes you laugh a little but in a self-deprecating manner.

After a while of crying you stand up to shower. You want him off of you and you use the somewhat hot water to do that. Use your soap to do that. Scrub away at your skin to do that. You even wash your hair. All to be rid of Namjoon.

When you're done you feel raw but clean. Physically speaking because inside your soul you're far from it. After doing your skincare routine you get dressed in your pajamas and take the time to dry your hair. You want to take care of yourself after the blow you took so you take your time. You don't know how long it's been since everything that happened so you check the time and see that it's late into the day. Only the gods know how long it's going to take before Hoseok comes back. You could stay in his room until then despite Yoongi's offer. You feel embarrassed but you decide that yeah, staying with Yoongi might be better. Staying alone with your thoughts doesn't sound appealing to you. At all. So you put on your slippers with phone in hand and make your way back over to the thoughtful vampire. You're sure to check the halls though as you head over. You really don't want to bump into Namjoon. No one is in sight though and so you quickly make your way back to Yoongi.

You knock on the door and hear a soft "Come in" from inside. When you open the door you see Yoongi sat on his chair with a keyboard sat before him and on a foldable table something with many colorful squares on it and a laptop. His headphones are resting around his neck as he takes the chance to look at you.

"Better," he asks.

You nod your head.

He brings up the left part of his headphones up to cup his ear and presses the keyboard. It's silent so you suspect he can hear it through the headphones.

"You're welcome to watch TV while I work here."

"Are you sure?" You frown. "I don't want to bother you."

"You won't be bothering me. I wouldn't have invited you to stay if I thought you would be a bother."

You give him a barely there smile but it's enough for him to see and smile back.

You look at the TV he's left on for you and see it's showing a movie. It's one you've seen before and liked so you leave it on to watch.

Sitting on his bed you're afraid to do more than just that. You sit on the edge of his bed and just stare at the TV.

"You can lay in bed, Y/N."

Your brows shoot up as you look at Yoongi. He isn't even looking at you as he continues to mess with his things. You don't question him though as you slip off your slippers and settle into the middle of his bed. It's unmade and so you take the chance to slip beneath the silky smooth sheets and settle them up to your waist as you sit up against the pillows.

Your time spent here is finishing the movie that was on when you came here and getting a little over the halfway mark of the second one when your brain tries to remind you about what happened. It dampens your mood causing you to sigh. You pick up your phone to check out the games you have on it - anything to keep you distracted. It's when you unlock it do you realize something. You can text Minjeong. You access your contacts and find the pseudonym you have for her. Yoongi said to contact her and tell him everything she had to say. You wonder if she's available now but you'll give it a shot and see.

You: Minjeong?

You purse your lips and place the phone down to watch the movie again. You're giving Minjeong time to get back to you but you have to admit you're a little nervous. What if everything falls through? You don't even have a plan yet but you're expecting the worse.

You should have a little more faith in Yoongi, you think. He's really going to go out of his way to try and help you. And you don't know Minjeong that well but it seems like she truly wants to help too. After everything she's been through with Hoseok she came all this way to see you to try and help anyway. Would you have gone that far for a stranger? You honestly don't know.

Your phone vibrates after a moment and you're quick to pick it up but when you check you frown when you see it's from Hoseok instead.

Hoseok: I'm sorry I'm not home yet baby but this stuff takes a while. We'll more than likely do some today and the rest another time but for now just hold on.

Hoseok: I hope Namjoon isn't boring you or anything lol

Your frown grows deeper at the mention of his brother.

What should you type back?

You: It's okay.

But is it? You quickly type out a response to follow your two words.

You: Things are fine.

They are because you're with Yoongi but you won't mention that. You don't want Hoseok asking questions right now so you keep quiet about it.

Immediately afterwards Hoseok sends two emojis your way. A ☺️ and 😘 stare back at you but you make no effort to write back.

You place the phone back down and after a minute it buzzes again and you pick it up with clenched teeth thinking it's Hoseok but you're surprised to see it's Minjeong instead.

Dawn: Who is this?

You're quick to type back in hopes of getting a positive response.

You: It's Y/N. This is Minjeong right?

You trap your bottom lip between your teeth as you stare at the screen.

Minjeong wouldn't have given you a fake number you're sure but you just needed to make sure it was her you were texting.

Dawn: Y/N! Yes it's me. How are you?

Distraught and embarrassed for starters but you won't say that - instead something else.

You: I'm okay I guess...

You: You were right. About Namjoon. He isn't who I thought he was.

When you press send you have to bite your lip harder to prevent the urge to cry.

The answer comes after a few seconds.

Dawn: I'm sorry Y/N. I don't know who you thought he was to you but now you see the truth. None of the brothers can be trusted. Only Yoongi.

You: I see that now..

You pause with a sniffle. No. You're not going to cry over Namjoon again. You won't let him have that power over you.

Minjeong doesn't text you back but you don't want to end it here. You have to start making a plan.

You: Yoongi admitted that he saved you. He's willing to help me get out too. Money isn't an issue but I need a place to stay.

You: He said I should go to a rehab but not near here. Do you maybe know any around you? How far do you live if that's okay to know?

It takes a while for a response. So much so that you figure she's either busy or hesitant to tell you where she lives. You wouldn't blame her then if that's the case. How can she trust that you won't say anything to Hoseok? She doesn't know you like that. But when you least expect it she answers you.

Dawn: I live around 7-8 hours away which is enough distance needed between you and Hoseok. I can look into rehab centers for you and I'll let you know what I find.

Dawn: How much money do you have? Unless you have health insurance you'll need to pay for your stay and once you're better we'll need to find you a home.

You know she's right. You don't know how much they'll charge you at the rehab and you don't plan on overstaying more than you need to. You saved enough money you believe so you tell her.

You: Trust me it's enough. I've been saving since I first started working and that's when I was 13.

Dawn: That sounds good. Even then I'll be willing to help with any expenses you might need so don't think you'll be alone in this.

That's kind of her. To be honest the whole idea of escaping has you nervous because of the what-ifs but having both Minjeong and Yoongi by your side makes you feel a little better.

You: Thank you. Honestly.

Dawn: It's no problem.

Dawn: After everything, if you feel comfortable to, we can set up a restraining order against Hoseok for you. I want to make sure he's out of your life for good.

She's making sure to let you know she'll go through thick and thin for you. It sounds almost too good to be true but she proved to you how far she'll go when she came all this way to see you at the mall.

7-8 hours. That's how far away she lives and yet she came anyway. Would you have ever gone that far for someone you don't know? Especially when it meant you'll run into your kidnapper again? Minjeong is selfless unlike you you believe because you don't think you ever could.

You: Thank you.

Dawn: Of course.

Dawn: I'll start looking into rehab centers nearby. I'll let you know what I find and what the best options are.

You: Okay. I'll let Yoongi know what's up. He wants to be informed as much as possible before any attempts to leave are made.

Dawn: That sounds good.

Dawn: He's a really good guy. Let's be thankful for him.

You are thankful for Yoongi. The only "normal" brother you've come to truly realize. Namjoon didn't lie about that at least.

You don't know what else to say so you leave it at that. Looking over to Yoongi you see that he's still working on his music. He's been very quiet as you watch TV and even now after your talk with Minjeong. You wonder when would be the best time to tell him about the texts but you don't want to bother him. He's so focused on his work. The more you stare at him the more your thoughts on Minjeong cloud your mind. You wonder how the chance to help her escape came about. We're they already talking about it between each other or was it a spontaneous decision on Yoongi's part? Minjeong was being drugged by Hoseok and so you wonder how he managed to get her out undetected by staff. You would ask Minjeong but would she remember correctly because of the drugs? What was Hoseok using on her anyway?

"You're staring at me."

You jump at the sound of Yoongi's voice.

He raises his head up to look at you before moving his headphones down around his neck. "Something on your mind?"

"Oh." You blink a few times. You weren't expecting to get caught. "Um I talked to Minjeong."

His brows raise a little. "What did she say?"

You cross your legs beneath the sheets as you sit up a little. "She said she's going to look up rehab centers for me around where she lives and that she'll help me out moneywise if need be."

Yoongi nods his head. "That's good. Anything else?"

"Just that if I'm comfortable with it that she'll help me get a restraining order on Hoseok."

His expression is carefully neutral but you can't imagine how he must feel.

"I'm sorry," you say. "This must be tough with Hoseok being your brother and all."

He shrugs. "I want the best for my brother but I can't help him when he's wrong."

Still but you won't push the subject.

Yoongi stretches in his seat with his arms reaching up above. You swear you hear his shoulders pop and it's only then does he sigh in relief.

"Are you hungry," he asks.

To be honest, after what you've been through no you're not but you know you need to eat.

You shrug in response but it's enough for Yoongi to pull out his phone and start searching for something.

"Is there anything you'd like to order?"

You shrug again but realize he can't see you as he continues to go through his phone.

"I'm fine with anything."

Yoongi hums. "Thai it is."

You can't help but to huff a laugh. Yoongi is oftentimes entertaining without meaning to be.

Taking off his headphones Yoongi lies them beside his laptop before standing up from his seat to head into his bathroom without a word. The man is so quiet but it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. You have a lot of trust in him and for a moment you wonder if you really should. All of his brothers turned out to be problematic in their own ways. What made Yoongi any different from them? It's because of Minjeong why you believe in the best of him and you're holding on to hope that he won't turn his back on you. So far so good, right?

You nod to yourself before looking towards the TV. You'll continue to trust him until for whatever the reason may be you can't anymore.

Yoongi finishes up in the bathroom and comes out with a sigh. "Here," he says. He hands you his phone. "Get what you want. I'll handle the rest."

You grab his phone and check through the menu. He's nice enough to order food for you and you feel like you can't deny his want to help you out. He's done enough so far: listening to you when you needed to be heard, comforting you, letting you stay with him until Hoseok comes back. You appreciate him. Truly you do.

Once you find something you hand him back his phone and he's quick to order what he wants as well.

"It won't be long," he says. "The Thai place is close by."

You hum. "Thank you."

Yoongi looks at you with a brow raised.

"For everything. You don't have to do any of the things that you're doing but you are and I appreciate it."

He shrugs. "It's nothing."

"No really." Your fingers play with the edge of the blanket. "I know I'm asking for a lot - wanting to escape and all of that but you're being very selfless."

He comes over to sit next to you on the bed. "Continue. You're doing wonders for my ego."

You can't help but laugh and it makes him smile. A smile that shows his gums and looks absolutely endearing on him.

He grows a little serious then as he speaks. "I don't mind helping. I feel like I have to make up for my brothers' faults in some way."

"It's not your responsibility though," you say.

"I know but someone has to do something and we both know it's not going to be Hoseok or any of the others."

Before you thought it would have been Namjoon but now you know that's a lie. It's just you, Yoongi, and Minjeong now. You don't know if you should feel sad or not about that.

Yoongi seems to notice your thoughts are straying from something positive because he questions you on it.

"What are you thinking about?"

Your eyes drift over to him for a moment. "Do you honestly want to know?"

He nods.

Sighing you sit up a little straighter. When did you hunch over so much? Like the weight of your thoughts are too heavy to bare.

"Namjoon."

Yoongi purses his lips as he takes a slow and even breath in before releasing it with his words.

"It's going to be hard getting over it but over time you will."

Your shoulders sag. "I wish things would have been different between us."

"In what way?"

"I wish I never fell for him. That we should have stayed as friends. Maybe then his lies wouldn't have hurt as much as they did."

"Either way you shouldn't let those type of thoughts consume you." He leans his weight onto his hand. "The more you let the what-ifs and "I shouldn't have/I should haves" bother you you'll never be able to heal. All it's going to do is ruin you and let Namjoon win."

Let Namjoon win... You don't want that to happen of course but a part of you just wants to wallow in self-pity even though you know you shouldn't.

"Have you ever had your heart broken?"

Yoongi continues to stare at you. "No but I imagine it doesn't feel good."

"It doesn't." You sigh. "I know you're right I'm just - it hurts is all."

He hums. "We should find a distraction then. For now at least until it hurts a little less."

Your brow raises in interest. "What kind of distraction?"

He stands up from his bed and walks over to the area where his equipment is set up. "I normally don't let anyone listen to my unfinished work but I think I can make one exception. For now at least."

He unplugs his headphones to bring his laptop over to the bed. On the screen are a series of things you can't bring yourself to understand but you know they must be related to music. You watch as Yoongi brings up a window filled with files labeled by numbers and he clicks on one of them. When it opens music begins to play.

It starts of with a slow beat accompanied by a rap that picks up speed a few seconds in. The lyrics talk about the extreme choices between what are truth and lies and you find yourself bopping your head along to it.

Yoongi doesn't say a word as you listen to it until the beat continues without the rap. Here he brings the music to a stop and looks at you.

"I don't have the rest of the rap written so it just stops there. Once I figure out what else I want I'll take the time to finish it."

"It's really really good," you say. "And I'm not just saying that because you're in front of me."

A small smile dances on the edge of his lips as a warm blush coats his cheeks. "There are other stuff too."

He clicks on another one and lets it play. One after another. Finished ones as well as incomplete ones.

You learn that Yoongi can both rap and sing even Jungkook who helps his older brother fill in as samples for his incompleted work. That way when he hands off his song to someone else they know what is expected of them. You also learn that DJing is just a small portion of what he can do. He enjoys making music for others to listen to and has done a variety of genres since he was teenager. Whatever genre there is Yoongi has done already and he has a discography made up of many of them from almost all the years of his life. You're heavily impressed and express that to him to which his cheeks grow pinker and the more he talks.

You realize Yoongi loves to talk about the things that make him happy. His voice level raises a bit as he talks more. It's endearing to watch and hear him grow happier by the second because he's talking about his first love: music. You wish there was something in your life that made you this excited to talk about. Maybe someday but for now you'll live vicariously through Yoongi.

"I'm amazed honestly," you say. "You sing, you rap, you play the piano and the guitar. You're a skilled producer that learned everything on his own. That's really impressive, Yoongi."

He gives a shy laugh as he closes the container from the food he ordered you two earlier. While you guys listened to his music you ate happily.

"I'm being serious. I really like your work."

"Thank you," he says with a smile.

He looks so shy but he's glowing with your praise. It makes you smile.

Yoongi gathers his flash drives with his music on them. They're there not because you went through every song on them but because he would grab one here and there to have you listen to specific songs. You're glad the two of you could bond this way as he was the only brother you haven't spent some time with. He showed you a side to himself you've never seen and it warms your heart to know he felt comfortable enough with you to show this side. He even admitted that he doesn't like showing his unfinished work but he did with you. You know it was to distract you from your glaring problem with Namjoon but you appreciate he did that nonetheless.

"I have more work in my study but that can be for another time."

Another time. Yeah, you'd like that.

"Thank you, Yoongi."

He hums in question with both brows raised.

"Thank you for keeping me distracted and for sharing your music with me. You didn't have to but you did and I appreciate it."

A small smile graces his lips as he shrugs. "It's no problem."

You mimic his smile with one of your own.

You enjoyed your time with him and not just because of your issue with Namjoon. For being the most sweetest of the brothers the two of you haven't really gotten to know each other. While he showed you his music he asked for your favorites. The topic then went to movies as you both talked about movie soundtracks. His passion for music made you feel inspired and you expressed that to which he gave you one of his endearing smiles. You talked on and on about music until it felt like there was nothing left about it to talk about.

Your time together was fun and you hope to end this nightmare of a day/night on a positive note because of him.

As he puts his things away you gather your trash from the food you ate and place them into the bag it came in.

"You don't have to do that." Yoongi says. "I can handle it."

"No no it's fine. I made a mess just as much as you did so let me help out."

He doesn't fight you on it and so you continue to clean up.

The sound from the TV accompanies you as you two work around each other. You don't even know what movie is playing right now but it doesn't really have your attention. Your conversation with Yoongi was your main form of entertainment.

Speaking of who, he turns to you after a minute and stares at you with an unreadable expression. You look up at him and raise your brows in question.

"Everything okay," you ask.

He licks his lips and nods. "I just... I'm going to try my best to get you out of here."

Your features soften at his words and something akin to warmth floods your chest. Happiness you think it is. Peace. Gratefulness.

You smile. "Thank you."

He gives you that half smile he oftentimes gives and it makes your own stretch until you show your teeth.

You know you have to give him time. You don't want to wait anymore than what you truly have to but these things take time. You have to wait for Minjeong to get back to you with the list of rehabs around her area and then formulate a plan to get out of here and how to head to her. Things Iike this don't happen overnight and so you'll wait. At least you have Yoongi on your side in this house. He's the breath of fresh air you've been needing to survive here. Hopefully until the very end.

[ihave1braincell]

I can’t believe those who don’t banana all the time 😣

This is my first time drawing Soul in a more human form. I usually draw the HM and S as more conceptual figures…. Also… this took me longer than it should’ve because I went into obsessive detail with the highlights on the shadow part… it was supposed to take me 10 minutes and it took me 46 to complete the whole thing. Uh… I’m decent at art I swear!!

I don’t even know if it was Soul’s voice saying that in Banana Man but it sounded like it.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Going Into the Cave

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Psalm 46:5 God is within her; she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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+ 1 King 19:9 There, he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

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SUBJECT: Going Into the Cave

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM STRONG

I AM DIFFERENT

I AM LOVING

I AM KIND

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THOUGHTS:

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     Some of us spend a lot of time buried in work, projects, and activities, and we hide under all these things, and these things sometimes can be a distraction; what is your cave? What do you spend the most time doing? Does it help you to emerge in the presence of God, or is it being captivated by something happening in your life? Sometimes, we don’t realize how much time we spend with something or doing something until the Holy Spirit brings us out of our cave and shows us this is what we are doing.

  Elijah went into the cave because he was tired and had enough of the pressure and fear. He allowed the cave to be something he could go into to stay, but some of us use our caves to feel safe. We can't feel completely safe doing what we want; just like Elijah, we must depend on God to be what we need. God wants to show some of us a better way of dealing with life.

  In the other half of this verse, the lord asks Elijah what are you doing here; the lord asks us today, what are you doing in this place that I took you from? What are you doing in this place you have let take over your life? We must let go of the idea that we know what's best for our lives when we don’t. We must seek God more than anything in this world, and a lot of us don’t because we have a full plate of things or we have built a place of comfort in our own life, and God wants us to be comfortable in our life, but he wants us to find comfort in him and not other things.

  The other night, I was playing on my Steam Deck at 8:30 p.m. It felt like a few minutes; it the next thing I know I heard the Holy Spirit say Lui it’s getting late I looked at the time and it was 10:30 pm, and I was so shocked that I had played that long because I usually don’t, and I had things to do. I had wasted so much time just playing a game, but sometimes, we allow what's in our life to distract us so that we don’t see that those things could take time away from God.

    We don’t see how those things could put us away from God because we allow the enemy to tell us it is okay. Don’t get me wrong, God wants us to enjoy life, but sometimes we let go too much that we lose time, and we lose those precious moments to come out of the cave and dwell with God, whatever is in your life that has you deep in a cave place it before God, Elijah told God exactly how he felt which was.

  Verse 4 while he went on a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat under it, and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 

  He said I had enough of all this. I am no better than my ancestors; he let God know this is where I am and how I feel. Many of us are balling up much in our heads and hearts, and we think God doesn’t want to hear us complain or talk. He does; this is why he's calling us out of the caves, out of the busy life, into him because he wants to hear how we are feeling. However, you are feeling today, let God know so he can help you come out and eat the bread and drink the living water he has to offer us.

  Psalm 34:18: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”

   Often, we let situations run us into a hole, and it causes us to draw away from God into a cave that we feel is where we need to be. And God is calling us out; he’s near us, and he wants to save us from the broken, crushed spirit; he wants to save us from our hurt and doubt, but do you believe he wants to save you, do you believe he cares that deeply because he does. 

   2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

   We might feel crushed, perplexed, despaired, persecuted, abandoned, and struck down, but we aren’t destroyed because we have the power of the Holy Spirit in us. That power is so strong that we don’t have to worry or be afraid of anything; all we must do is come out of our cave and dwell in the presence of God , in his presence is peace , in his presence is love ,but we must learn to pull away so we can be with him; we must learn to step forward and out in him, and when we do, we will have everything we need in him. 

  Psalm 138 3 When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me.”

   What does emboldened mean? To encourage us to be bold, God makes us bold to handle our situations and circumstances; we might feel we can handle things the way we want, but we must always see how God wants us to handle our life and things; a lot of times we get so stuck in what’s going then who can solve it all. Who can fix it all? Elijah knew God could help and defend him, but he was also tired. We all have gotten to where we are tired, but we allow things to drive us away; then, to drive us forward, we must allow God to direct us in everything. So, we can find our way back to him. 

    ***Today, our life is sometimes perplexing because we allow things to occur; when I was sitting there playing with my Steam Deck, I was just playing , and I lost track of time, but imagine if I did that every day, I lose track of time, and I lose track of what I needed to do. What happens if I let go so much that I don’t balance my time? When we don’t balance our time with him when we allow our cave to become our everything, we become lost and stuck, and we forget how God moves and forget how great he is, every day we must ask God could you help me get out of this mood, this rhythm ,this routine, could you help get me out of my head and intrusive thoughts.   

    As long as we are trying, he will be there. Elijah knew that God was this amazing God that could do anything; he knew he was all-powerful and knowing, but when fear sits in, we forget it, and we lose all sense of who we are in him. he was a great prophet. He was being used in mighty way through God, and he forgot all of it because of fear; some of us are allowing fear to control us and forget how powerful he is, and some of us are allowing activities to drive us away. Still, whatever it is, be it fear or activities, we can’t allow neither to stop us; we must stop and hear the whispers of God's voice. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, wherever we are in life right now, we give you everything; we give you our situation and activities. We ask you right now to help us out of the things that are keeping us from you, whether it’s a game, a person, life, hurt, or anything else. We ask you to help us see you and thank you for everything. Lord, give us peace, help us be strong, and seek you. Lord, we love you, and we are so grateful for everything. In Jesus' name, Amen 

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REFERENCES 

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+ Micah 7:8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.”

 

+ 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.”

 

+ Nehemiah 8:10 Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.'”

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FURTHER READINGS 

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Proverbs 23 

Leviticus 7

Deuteronomy 7

Job 17

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[charliemxwll209]

Cringe culture is dead, let people have fun if it's not hurting anyone, just sayin' (:

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Artwork is made by me in ibis paint, with 4 year old phone and finger, the drawing took me two hours and 46 minutes

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Happy mother's day!

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A cookie run fan art again

They're all adopted

Winzard can do magik 🫸👍🏻✊👩‍🦳

Let the tags scare you I guess

[guerrerense]

876 At Oscawana por David Blazejewski Por Flickr: With a free weekend alone I finally took a trip long on my list and made the trek out to the Hudson Line to hunt Metro North heritage units and pay a visit to a few famous locations that I'd never before seen for myself. Tops on the list was Oscawana Island and the twin tunnels on the legendary former New York Central water level route mainline. The weather was less than ideal and far from comfortable with temps in the 90s, high humidity and thick haze making for poor shooting conditions, but I had fun nonetheless. In the short 90 minutes I spent here I shot eight trains and missed a few others before leaving as massive thunderstorms approached. Not many people shoot going away photos of trains and I'm sure this won't draw much interest. But I take a documentary approach to photography including the bad in with the good because someday once everything has changed, as it inevitably will, this will be an interesting scene for somebody. And I treat this as my trip journal and travelogue so try to include at least one shot of each train at each spot. This was the fifth of the eight trains I'd shoot, southbound Metro North train 876 the 4:31 PM departure from Poughkeepsie due at Grand Central 1 hr 46 min later. They are on Main 2 of Metro North's Hudson Line at MP 36.8 passing thru the 200 ft long west bore with P32AC-DM 226 (GE blt. Aug. 2001) shoving on the rear. This is the original New York Central Railroad mainline which opened between New York City and Albany in 1851 as the Hudson River Railroad, and the first tunnel here (the one out of sight to my left that Main 1 passes thru) dates from the line's construction through here in 1849 while the parallel one beneath my feet with Mains 2 and 4 dates from 1912 when four tracks were installed (the original tunnel had two). In 1864 the Hudson River Railroad was purchased by Cornelius Vanderbilt along with the New York and Harlem. Meanwhile in 1853 Erastus Corning had assembled a plethora of small local lines as the New York Central Railroad running from Albany to Buffalo and in 1867 Vanderbilt merged it with his road to create the New York Central and Hudson River Railroad and the rest as they say is history. By the 1950s as the railroad was showing signs of weakness but also modernizing under the leadership of A.E. Perlman. Around that era the four track mainline was equipped with CTC and reduced to three mains thru here. If anyone can fill me in the exact dates of the changes here I'd be most grateful. Hamlet of Crugers Cortlandt, New York Friday August 2, 2024

[lgwifey]

Homesick Part Two

“Good enough for London”

human!Fem!reader x platonic!EdwardCullen

summary : Y/n’s dad had been given a new job offer, meaning she had to drag herself half way across the world to a town that shame was positive rained more than London had.

Part One

Y/n woke up the next day at 6:30 am, determined to beat jet lag and also needing to prepare for waking up early again in a few days when the schools started up.

Today's jobs where a bit easier than yesterdays, having her little schedule wrote up that's she'd scribbled down and then rewrote out pretty on the plane. She was already ahead of yesterday, having only thought she would have enough time to make her bed. Luckily the flat pack furniture was a bit easier than she expected it to be.

She started the day by unpacking the parcels of bedding that she'd ordered to the house before they'd moved over. She'd opened the duvet, pillows and mattress topper last night and left them to air out overnight to save half the day today being wasted.

Her light pink, crushed velvet ottoman bed sat just slightly not on the wall, a small bedside table sat between in and the bedroom wall, a medium sized window starting at the end of the bed. Y/n would be the first to mention her lack of strength, which meant the first job of dragging the double mattress topper onto the bed took longer than it would've for most. She dragged on a black satin bedsheet before standing on the bed with the duvet and the dark red cover, using all her height to try and make the process easier.

Soon enough the teenager managed to wrangle the bed all together, folding the spare sets of bedding and dropping them to the corner of one of the ottoman draws.

Black satin pillows were thrown at the headboard of the bed, then the blood red duvet and then a bundle of cushions that Y/n usually ended up kicking off the bed before she slept anyway. The whole bed was pulled together with a leopard print throw blanket that matched her large leopard print fuzzy rug which her dad had  picked up from a store in Seattle for her before she arrived.

The only furniture left to put together was the eight-ball beanbags she'd bought.

Once she'd admitted defeat and accepted that she was being moved to Forks Washington whether she liked it or not, she'd decided she was going to go all out on her bedroom and outfits. Plus, her parents felt horrible for moving her so she'd managed to get a few bonuses.

Kicking the leather beanbags into a corner, Y/n moved into the cardboard boxes for her home in London. She'd been convinced to get rid of most of her possessions by her mother. The words "you can always just buy new things when we get there" were going to be burned into her brain for a very long time.

The two boxes were carefully wiped of dust and unsealed with the scissors she'd left on her desk from yesterday.

It was just a few nicknacks, she didn't hold attachments to many things so the little she kept from England were carefully placed on the empty bookshelf in the corner. A few rolled up posters, a few book collections that her grandmother had gave her before the move, a few ornaments that she'd had from a baby and a few she'd found in charity shops and her prized CD collection and player.

It was quite a quick job, well it would've been if she didn't get distracted by the ornamental bells that she was organising for a solid twenty minutes.

After leaving her landline, a dark red lip phone, on her desk as a reminder to get her father to set it up when he got back from work, Y/n realised that if she wanted to get into some public appropriate clothes and do her makeup to go food shopping, she'd need to start unpacking her suitcases.

She let out a huff before flipping backwards onto her bed, the fresh covers crumbling around her tired body.

Her LED digital clock sat on her wall beside her bed, reading a miserable 11:46. Her friends wouldn't even be awake for at least another 4 hours.

Once again, she pushed herself to the large, hot pink suitcases that had been left behind her door when she arrived.

☆

When Harriet Grey went to go and check on her daughter in the morning, well nearly afternoon, she expected to find her daughter dying from jet lag like her, face still buried in her pillows and room still looking uninhabited.

Instead she found the girl with her face passed out in a half unpack suitcase.

The pyjama clad woman slowly shuffled over to where Y/n was sprawled up. Most of her wardrobe had been hung on hangers and place in the small walk-in wardrobe built into the bedroom. Her vanity had been organised with all her makeup, some of the draws left opening for Harriet to peek into.

"Y/n? Sweetie?"

Harriet had started to think that Y/n had suffocated on the socks her face had landed on, starting to leave to call an ambulance when she caught the crack caused by her daughter stretching her hand.

☆

"You don't think it's all... too much ?"

Y/n looked up from the zips on her pointed, heeled boots to where her mother stood with a worried expression plastered on her features.

"If it was good enough for London then it's good enough for this crummy little town."

The younger girl scrunched her features up as she finished zipping the boots that finished just before her knees, pressing down the fabric of the black micro mini dress as she stood up from the step she was balancing on.

"Well, the populations quite a lot smaller than London here Y/n."

She was met with a blank expression from her daughter, the girl flicking her hair over her shoulders as she shifted the leather blazer over her shoulders, moving to check her mobile was in her cherry red purse before they left the house for the food shop they desperately needed.

"That means that people talk. A lot."

"Mother. If everyone was scared of people talking about them Vivienne Westwood wouldn't have made it out of Chelsea. Now let's go shopping, last nights pizza was the start of a health kick for me."

The girl gagged slightly, forgetting how awful she felt after the grease dish, forced an end to the conversation with a dramatic hand clap, leaving the large and empty house to the driveway where her mother's shiny new Mercedes sat.

Behind her followed her mother, a tut and an eye roll as the older woman locked the double doors to the large, white panelled house. A bright flash of the lights told Y/n that the car was unlocked, leaving her to pull the passenger side door open and slide into the immaculate interior.

The drive to the grocery shop was much longer than Y/n had expecting.

"Another reason we should've stayed in England, everything's less spread out."

"Everything's more compact in London, the distance between places here is just a bit refreshing. You've got some lovely views here, and less air pollution. I know you value that."

The teenager rolled her eyes, slouching back into the seat more. "I also value my shoes and if I were to walk this distance their soles would be completely worn out."

Harriet bit her lip, a nervous habit she'd developed since she had to start convincing her daughter that the move was a good idea a year ago. "Did you know you can learn how to drive earlier here ?"

"I already know how to drive, dad taught me so I could pass as soon as I turn 17."

"Well then you can sit it as soon as me and your father find a driving teacher ."

The pale blonde woman gave a tight lipped smile, turning her head to focus back on the empty stretch of road.

"Yeah dad's already done that. I've got a test on Sunday so I can pass before school starts, it's way easier than the UK one too."

"Gave much thought to what car you want ? It seems like everyone here has trucks."

Y/n held back a snort at her mother's face at the mention of the popular vehicle around here. It was quite obvious that she didn't want a big pick up sat outside her new home.

"I was actually thinking about the new Audi a4 convertibles. Kate's sister got a silver one last year but they're bringing a red one out."

Harriet caught the begging stare that the miniature self was giving her in the corner of her eye. A unnoticed breath left her at the relief of not having a box with wheels next to her prized Mercedes .

"I'm sure your father could manage that one."

Part Three

Masterlist