#this doesn’t make sense and doesn’t encapsulate all my thoughts lmao

[coachbeards]

Oh i wholeheartedly agree! I’ve always thought that beard’s character is really Really fueled by self hatred in some form. even before the reveal of prison and what he had done to ted, beard after hours is rife with displays of loneliness, self-hatred, and a slew of mental health struggles. i think beard needs people, and I think that’s something he’s well aware of needing. After all, he’s someone who has expressed quick, frequent relationships. He found jane within a MONTH of being in Richmond…after he already joined a chess club. like. he immediately found a consistent group of people to be around, and that ended up with him meeting jane.

Take a look at beard after hours! when his hallucinations begin, what is the FIRST thing beard does? he leaves the solitude of his flat and seeks a familiar place out where he knows he wouldn’t be alone. Sure, he’d be sitting alone and by himself, but he wouldn’t be closed off from people. second time his hallucinations happen? he’s separated himself from the trio…literally isolating himself. And that in turns leads him to flirt with the redhead, and follow her back to her flat. Then of course he’s chased out, where he’s alone once more. While alone he’s kicked off a bus, denied help at a hotel, and brutally attacked. It’s also interesting to note that again his hallucinations occurred when he was alone. One against three….telling him that he doesn’t accept the love and support from the people around him. (Also when the buff boyfriend whose name I think is Darren saves him, the lyrics “now im no longer alone” start playing)

Beard NEEDS people. Like and it’s so clear HE KNOWS THAT. not only does he hate who he is when he’s alone, but that’s when the voices are the most quiet. People are distractions to him, sometimes. “In all my happiest memories, im single. That troubles me.” He WANTS to love and be loved. brendan has called beard a romantic at heart. But he chooses the wrong people. he gets dumped, he got his heart broken by a cruise ship dancer so badly that he almost swore off all dancers, but then he kept going out with them).

beard has never liked himself. Brendan said he’s been struggling with self love issues, and probably has all his life. A conservative mother, a tough home, sex work in college, drug addiction, abusive relationships, a stint in prison, etc etc etc. he hates himself. And he knows that. I’ve talked a little about how he and ted, while best friends, have a weird power dynamic that has definitely colored how beard views other relationships. I mean like. You betray one person and then devote your entire life to them and become their assistant for 15 years. Like. Beard is DEPENDENT on him. And then jane. And anyone who can help him. Not be him. “I’m under no illusions that [jane] can solve what ails me, but when im with her the world just feels…more interesting.” Like man that SCREAMS of depression. and he thinks HES the problem!!! Asking Mary if he had a problem, the texts reveal that he calls jane reasonable, etc.

Basically beard has a very very inconsistent self image. Extremely inconsistent. he hates himself and he’s filled to the brim with trauma and pain. And he seeks jane out bc,,, well. She makes his life interesting.

I’ve been ruminating on this a lot and i really really think beard’s ending would’ve been best if he remained in Richmond, but for himself. No ted, no jane. Hell. I’m not even entirely sure if he should stay a coach, but that’s another thing. beard has hallucinations, depression, displays of anxiety, suicidal thoughts, trauma, etc etc etc. he needs to learn how to heal and how to love himself for like. The first time in the world

also like. i do think about it a lot.

beard being told via hallucinations that he’d need a pep talk to kill himself………and then it was a pep talk by ted to get him to forgive nate (and himself)….

[seriousbrat]

Do you think Lily’s patronus makes sense as a Doe? Because when I think of Does I think docile, timid, fragile, sensitive and fearful and Lily doesn’t quite match that description. I know patronuses aren’t always 1:1 with the wizard’s personality but usually there is some overlap (Sirius is loyal and protective, James encapsulates the positive and negative qualities of a stag with his leadership and strength but also the toxic masculinity, Remus is needing of a pack and is also clever etc.). So do you think there is some part of a doe or what they symbolizes that fits with Lily’s character OR do you think her patronus changed to match James who’s already was a stag?

If you’ll allow me to ramble about my own theories here for a minute than I would like to say that I actually believe that her’s changed. I think this mostly due to JKR saying this in a interview awhile ago when someone asked if it was a coincidence that jily had matching patronuses: “No, the Patronus often mutates to take the image of the love of one's life (because they so often become the 'happy thought' that generates a Patronus).” Her statement implies (or more outright states) that there was a change of patronus for atleast one of jily, And since James was already a stag animagus at 15 we can assume that his patronus was always one (further evidence is that McGonagall’s patronus and animagus is both a cat).

I personally believe that patronuses are a manifestation of hope, the desire to go on, and the idea of what to continue living/fighting for (“The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive” from Lupin, and then Luna says this while helping Harry conjure one in DH “"We're all still here," she whispered, "we're still fighting. Come on, now...”). So I think given this it makes a lot of sense for Lily’s patronus to change to reflect an image of James. She is a targeted individual in her new small society that is at war and there isn’t much hope to be found anywhere, but she finds hope in James because he represents the life she wants to have that’s not connected to the war, a normal happy family. Her “happy thought” in the midst of death and destruction is family and love (also meaning this is what she wants to preserve and fight for, and it is ultimately what she dies for.)

It’s also interesting that her patrounus takes a female form, we know it’s possible for characters to have a patrounus that differ from their gender but that isn’t the case here. And while I know the doylist answer has to do with JKR’s views on femininity and gender in general, from the watsonisan perspective this could mean a couple things:

She is a doe because her hope lies within her being James’ wife and partner (like the family thing I said above. It’s not about the title or status of being a “wife” but about the normalcy, safety, intimacy and love that it represents)

She is a doe because her identity is separate enough from James where she wouldn’t mirror him but instead be her own version (possible, but less symbolically satisfying to me lol).

Or is it just something else entirely?

anyways sorry I didn’t mean for that to be that long lolll, but If you vibe with my “Lily patronus changed theory” what do you think it was before?

Also I consider you a lily expert so if you think this theory is trash or missing something lmk lmao

omg wait this is very interesting and absolutely NOT trash!! to be honest with you, I've thought about this a little myself before and never come up with a wholly conclusive answer. But personally I think it's very possible that Lily's patronus might have changed. I skirted around this issue in my fic by not having Lily produce a corporeal patronus until she was already with James lol.

Re: the doe, obviously in real life many prey animals are skittish, shy, and fearful because that's how they survive. This includes male deer too, because they will also startle easily. But I think that Lily could definitely be said to have qualities that are doe-like in a more symbolic way: grace, beauty, a gentle and caring nature, devotion to her young. I think it is an animal that fits Lily in many ways, and I think the symbolic/mythological meaning associated the animal is maybe more relevant than how the real animal behaves in the wild.

But even though I think Lily has doe-like qualities I don't think this precludes her patronus having become a doe because of James. It's more about the person she grew into, alongside James, than her identity totally changing because of her relationship. I think it still represents her, she IS the doe but she just grew into that person over time.

If Lily's patronus did change to mirror James, I REALLY like your idea that it reflects what she most cares about, that James (and what he represents to her) becomes her happiest thought and what she's fighting to survive for. Not just James, but later also Harry- whose Patronus is also eventually a stag.

As for what it might have been before (or had she never met James) it's a difficult question! I recently assigned patronuses to all the order members for ease of writing and lowkey I feel like I've run out of animals lol. I could see her as some kind of bird perhaps (I always feel like I default to giving people birds though lol) maybe a dove... or a seabird of some sort. I've always really liked the storm petrel, which is thought of as intrepid and brave and is known to fly through terrible weather, it cares for its single young, and has apparently been used as a revolutionary symbol. There's something really beautiful and dignified about them to me, they're lonely but resistant which could fit Lily's position as a Muggleborn amidst the war, if she hadn't fallen for James and joined the Order with him. So that's my first thought-- I'd be open to ideas though!

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Overanalyzing Sonic Comics Again Because I Can.

You know what? No. I was gonna build up to this but I’m fuccin clueless on how so I’ll just jump right on into it!

This hedgehog. This goddamn blue motherfucking pinball of a hedgehog. He is absolutely SHATTERED by this one instance.

Sonic the Hedgehog in the IDW comics has been through… A LOT, lately. He’s shown signs of trauma and regret from the Metal Virus, he literally pulled a Shadow and lost his memory for like 8 panels, and ya boi LITERALLY DIED. IT’S VERY SAFE TO ASSUME THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG ON HIS END WOULD BE CATASTROPHIC FOR HIM.

To me, in this case, it completely makes sense why Sonic is so utterly crushed in the Winter Jam, because not only does it force him to think outside the box and try some new techniques, but it also does to him what no one has dared to do in a while since his death, and that is: Disagree with him.

You’re probably giving this a pretty big scowl right now and you’re probably about to move on and not continue reading because yes I know that claim is very very outlandish and weird but I AM ABOUT TO EXPLAIN SO PLEASE STAY FOR A BIT I PROMISE IT’LL MAKE SOME SORT OF SENSE-

The Winter Jam is a fake reality tv show crafted by Orbot and Cubot, all for the purpose of getting Dr. Eggman to get off his lazy ass and do something. It kind of works in the end, but that’s not what I’m here to discuss. They painstakingly put together a bunch of tests specifically made to challenge the players, and to hopefully get some kind of juicy secrets out of them as well. Because that’s just how reality tv shows work I guess. And Sonic is one of those contestants.

The very first challenge, Sonic fails. The second challenge, Sonic fails. The third, fourth, fifth? Oh, he probably failed every single one of them! (Poor Tails lmao) But what the second challenge does is show Sonic that speed isn’t everything. It shows that not everything about him is perfect and that he doesn’t always have the right ideas. Same with the first challenge too! It brings to light that Sonic’s ideals can oftentimes be very wrong and too on-brand for him, because all he knows at this point is “Go fast” and “Freedom.” (See one of my previous analysis on our favorite blue boi) That would probably be mostly because of his recent trauma, but I’ll save all that for another time. So essentially, what this reality tv show is doing, is showing the odder sides of Sonic, showing how he can sometimes be wrong and that he isn’t as heroic and great as some make him out to be. (*cough cough* issue 67 *cough cough*)

The final challenge, though… That’s when things start taking a turn for the worst for Sonic.

He already started questioning his methods when the second challenge ended in a failure. He went fast, and that almost always works, so why didn’t he win? It was a race, was it not? Did he miss the memo? Did he do something wrong? What was wrong with him, why didn’t he win, he went fast so WHY DIDN’T HE WIN????

And if we’re assuming that he kept racking up failure after failure for the rest of the competition, then those thoughts suddenly become a lot worse. They start getting muddied, dirtied by insecurity, full of lies and deceit and worries that he’d spent so long trying to bury in his mind. He starts slowing down, trying his best to not fail because if he keeps failing then what kind of hero even is he!?!?

And then the final challenge happens.

And Sonic fails once again.

He thought it had worked this time, he thought that finally, after so long, he could claim just one little victory. Just a small, funny statue made of ice. One that symbolized the best of the best, something that showed that he cared. A true gift for a true friend. An ice statue of him and his beloved baby brother, Tails.

It works…! At least for a few seconds. Because after those few seconds are up?

(YES I KNOW I SHOWED THIS IMAGE ALREADY BUT IT’S ALL THE WAY AT THE START AND IT PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THE FEELING IM GOING FOR SO HUSHHHHHHH)

It all comes crumbling down.

And so too does Sonic’s entire body.

He falls to the ground with his statue, his eyes glued to the ice-cold dots of the foxy figure. Sonic stares at it, feeling something burn within his eyes. No, no, that could not have just happened! His hard work could not have been for nothing! He wasn’t too fast again, was he? Why did it fall, why did it crumble, why was everything falling apart like the statue???

…

Everything was falling apart.

——

idk what else to say man just do what you can with that info. Spread it like the plague or something idfk.

[melrosing]

did they actually read the chapter? Jaime is exhibiting sexual attraction to Brienne within the first few pages, there is never going to be this choice between a sex life and an inspiring woman or whatever. it's so demeaning to Cersei as well to reduce her to Jaime's sex life, and deny Brienne sexuality on the other hand because she's not beautiful.

okay, I think what was actually said on this podcast is going to get lost in translation over here if I just kind of vaguely refer to arguments I disagreed with. so to start with, I think anyone who's interested in what the NotACast guys and Dr Shiloh had to say on Jaime & Brienne would be best off listening to it themselves, I really don't want to misrepresent them here.

but I'll share the quote I was referring to, and preface that by saying that PoorQuentyn/Emmett does flat out state earlier in the episode that yeah, Jaime is sexually attracted to Brienne. he refers to the usual quotes, i.e. Jaime eyeing up her calves, picturing her in a dress, admiring her eyes, etc, etc. so far so good lol, obviously we've very much been over all that over in this sphere of fandom, but NotACast is most popular amongst fans from different spheres, including many fans who have not engaged at all with the discourse around JB. so, makes sense to include these foundational readings in the podcast.

anyway, the quote I was referring to (don't look at me transcribing is a weird hobby of mine):

PQ [1:19:56]: It’s interesting to me that you have this… kind of trying to decouple the courtly elements from the sexual elements? Because Jaime and Brienne do have that - more kind of - the chaste elements of the romance, with the actual sexuality kind of displaced onto Cersei. And it does feel like… it does feel like to me on some level that Jaime kind of wishes he could combine these two women. Like that would be the ideal for him*laughs*. As if he could force Brienne and Cersei into like, a machine from The Fly or something, and just make himself… that for him would be kind of the ideal, and I wonder if what George is trying to do is make that romantic ideal impossible for Jaime, by splitting it into two people. And saying, you can either have… your traditionally beautiful woman, you know, who you’ve been obsessed with, and your partner, or you can be with a person who makes you feel like a true knight. But these are antithetical. And I think that’s interesting.

(I'm putting the rest under the cut because this is long.)

this take is actually kind of bizarre when you consider the fact that, as I said, PQ has already acknowledged that there is a sexual element to JB. perhaps he's just riffing off of the convo BBF and and Dr Shiloh have just had where they wonder where to place Cersei in the conversation between JB and Arthuriana. personally I'd say that Cersei doesn't really belong in that conversation, and that's kind of the point: Jaime's wanted her to, but she never has. however, Dr Shiloh argues that Cersei and Brienne parallel the two women in Lancelot's life, where Lancelot is Jaime, Cersei = Guinevere, Brienne = Elaine of Corbenic (I... do not agree lmao but that's a separate matter)

so PQ's following on from this strain, comparing and contrasting the roles of Brienne and Cersei in Jaime's narrative, just feeling around for what sounds right by the looks of it. however! this does not sound right to me. let's unpack!!!!

It’s interesting to me that you have this… kind of trying to decouple the courtly elements from the sexual elements? Because Jaime and Brienne do have that - more kind of - the chaste elements of the romance

so as we've just established, there are sexual elements to JB in Jaime I alone, but they do not stop there: they get more pronounced. in fact by Jaime III they're already pretty explicit: JB have that entire sword fight in the river that is literally screaming look at their physical chemistry (I wrote more on that here) - the whole fight is half written as a sex scene, it's not remotely subtle.

and of course the undertones continue, to the point that they're not even undertones anymore, it's just Jaime getting an erection in the bath as he stares at Brienne's naked body.

but there are courtly elements too, and I won't list all of them off but these are best encapsulated in Jaime IX, where JB are almost meeting again for the first time, as they might in a traditional courtly setting where Jaime is dressed as a dashing knight and Brienne is dressed as a highborn lady, and they kind of awkwardly compliment each other, and instead of the lady bestowing a sword and a quest upon her knight it's the other way round, etc etc you know I love this shit lmao ANYWAY

so it's pretty clear Jaime and Brienne have both bases covered: the courtly and the sexual, and that they do, as the hosts observe in the episode, switch between the roles of the knight and the damsel. the whole point is that they gel perfectly: in falling in love they do not force the other into a contained role, but rather liberate the other from what was a contained role.

MEANWHILE.

...with the actual sexuality kind of displaced onto Cersei.

is the 'actual sexuality' displaced onto Cersei? or is it just that Cersei is the only person Jaime has had sex with so far? as we've established, Jaime and Brienne have a distinct physical chemistry, and we even get a subtle little comparison between this and that which Jaime has with Cersei here:

Her arm was all gooseflesh, clammy and chilled, but she was strong, and gentler than he would have thought. Gentler than Cersei, he thought [JAIME V, ASOS]

Cersei has been his only partner for all of his life, but that does not make her his perfect match in that respect.

moving on.

I wonder if what George is trying to do is make that romantic ideal impossible for Jaime, by splitting it into two people. And saying, you can either have… your traditionally beautiful woman, you know, who you’ve been obsessed with, and your partner, or you can be with a person who makes you feel like a true knight. But these are antithetical.

so PQ says on the one hand Jaime has Cersei, who is his passionate, beautiful, lifelong partner, and on the other there's Brienne, a chaste figure who makes him feel good about himself. and that these two things are antithetical, making the romantic ideal impossible for Jaime.

so. to start with, nowhere does ASOIAF state that Brienne can't be a passionate partner. she hasn't had the chance to be one yet, no, but this is, er, a story, things change and evolve, and we literally have evidence of passion between Jaime and Brienne on the page already.

second, Brienne is not beautiful, that's right! but that doesn't mean she falls short of a romantic ideal for Jaime??? I know I always bring up JB x Beauty and the Beast, but come on, they are literally based on a fairytale that says that love isn't about beauty, it's about the heart. and in any case, Jaime has been shown experiencing sexual attraction to women like Hildy and Pia (post-injury), who are not what society calls beautiful. he admires Cersei's beauty, sure, but we don't see anywhere that it is of the utmost importance to Jaime that his partner is beautiful. it's important to Cersei - but not Jaime.

third, PQ points out that Cersei's this lifelong obsession for Jaime, and surely that counts for something in balancing her against Brienne. well... no?? Jaime's obsession with Cersei has been based on the lies he tells himself about her, and the lies she's told him. Jaime has desperately wanted Cersei to be this benevolent figure that completes him, that he can love and protect as a true knight. she isn't, and he realises that now, and has unambiguously left her. of course he still thinks about her, it was a lifelong relationship, it was that thing he always thought of when he wanted comfort and to feel less alone, but that doesn't mean that he can't appreciate the lie in that, and the futility of his obsession.

so Brienne is not antithetical to what Cersei never was in the first place. in fact, Brienne is very much the kind of woman Jaime has wanted in Cersei (honest, loyal, loving), but simultaneously, yes, a person who inspires him, and who is just as capable of playing the role Jaime once assigned to himself. Jaime always believed his duty was to protect and comfort Cersei. with Brienne, he finds he can also be protected himself, and comforted himself. that's that whole damsel/knight switcheroo that NotACast were so taken with. that's the romantic ideal being, actually, perfectly possible for Jaime and Brienne both, it just... doesn't look as they thought it did.

ANYWAY. that's my thoughts on that. and for the record I do not think the podcast is bad or that the hosts are stupid and the last thing I want to do here is encourage any negativity towards them. I just thought that take was daft and wanted to take it apart with my bare hands lmao

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Ages ago, I asked people to send me scenes they wanted me to compared across the Skams, and then I kinda ignored it. This wasn't intentional, but rather because I wanted to do the scenes in chronological order. And the one I got for s1 was the Eva/Jonas breakup scene.

The issue is that Jonas is a very misunderstood character in international fandom. I felt like I couldn't begin to compare the scenes without getting into the fundamental conflict between Eva and Jonas, and I couldn't do that without getting into why Jonas hates Russetide, and I couldn't do that without a long post that was going to swallow up whole the other 7 versions of the scene.

I've never really let go of the idea of doing those comparisons, even though the anons that sent the original asks are probably long gone. I thought of a bunch of different ways to approach the asks, but nothing worked for me. Until recently, where I just decided to first explain Russetide, then compare the different Skam opening speeches, and THEN I will finally compare the breakup scenes.

But instead of explaining Russetide itself, which I think most Skam fans more or less understand, I'm going to explain SJEIKEN 2015. This song perfectly encapsulates what Jonas hates about Russetide. In fact, he quotes it in one of the scenes where he's being a dick to Eva!

Russetide is a tradition in all of Norway, but western Oslo (where Skam is set) is one of the richest areas in the country and, as such, they really go above and beyond with it. A bus is better than a van, the buses have to be decked out with the best sound systems. The crew has to have not just hoodies but also headbands and other merch, and it all has to follow the theme the crew has chosen. And if you really are the hottest of hot shit, then you actually commission legit artists to write a theme song for your bus. We can see this in s2, where the girls discuss The Penetrators theme song.

There are a bunch of different Norwegian artists that you can commission for your Russe song, but the most famous are probably TIX and the Pøssy Project. The Pøssy Project is a group of multiple songwriters, but all of its members have chosen to keep their identites anonymous because, as it turns out, ~Norwegian adults~ think everything I'm about to explain is trashy and disdainful. The one artist in The Pøssy Project that has always owned his participation in it is Andreas Haukeland, better known as TIX. (You might also know him as this year's ESC entry for Norway.) Why does TIX stand by these songs? Idk, probably because they're extremely popular, chart well, and make money, and by standing by them, he gets to perform them in gigs and profit off those creations.

SJEIKEN 2015 has featured twice in Skam, first in s1e1. It's also the song Pepsi Max is singing when they party at Sana's place in s4. And SJEIKEN 2015 featured so prominently in Skam because the song became a runaway hit the year before (the 2014-15 school year), breaking into the Norwegian charts as well as Spotify most playeds in Norway. It is a tremendously popular song that people loved.

So, who or what is SJEIKEN 2015 about? SJEIKEN is a 2015 Russe crew (meaning they graduated high school in 2015) who chose to make their Russe theme about... oil sheikhs. That is what sjeiken means. The song itself is about an oil sheikh called Sheikh Yer Bouti who declares tonight to be free of rules. His 400 wives are allowed to get drunk and be whores, just for tonight. Here are the lyrics:

Now, TIX has recently tried to become a mature artist, and so he was recently asked about SJEIKEN 2015 (again, a song he performs to this day). This was his response:

At a party, I met a girl who was crying over a boy she liked. She had built up her expectations that this would be the night she finally hooked up with him, but she was afraid that if she did, the guys would call her "whore". I thought about it a bit… It's actually quite true - if a boy hooks 10 girls at a party he is a legend, but if a girl hooks up with only one boy she may risk being called loose. That's absolutely ridiculous! So I said to her, "Tonight you are allowed to be a whore. Tonight you are allowed to hook up with him.”

And like, I just want to say this response is horseshit, first of all lol. But in case you for some reason thought this was supposed to be like a feminist anthem for a girls' russe buss (a crew like Los Losers for instance), let me share a picture of the SJEIKEN Russe crew:

(Count the moc... Oh wait, there aren't any.)

SJEIKEN (the Russe crew) also participated at a Russe event back in 2015. Here is how they chose to stage their song:

(The one thing I can say about this is that the boy playing a niqabi doesn't appear to have taken it off at any point, which is better than Skam Italia did.)

At this point, you might think that perhaps Jonas might have reason to be appalled that Eva, who he assumed shared his values, decided to get involved in Russefeiring. However, one other thing about Russefeiring is that literally EVERY YOUNG PERSON in Norway is supposed to love all of this shit. My evidence is very anecdotal, but I once asked a Norwegian high school student how many people aren't involved in Russefeiring. He said everyone is, the only people who aren't are the friendless losers. I also came across a Norwegian young woman's blog who said she preferred talking to people from abroad, because she didn't have to explain to them that she never actually did Russe, because to admit she hadn't, would immediately show her to have been a total outcast in high school. Like, this is an issue for people into their twenties.

So Jonas isn't just taking a stance to be cool, the fact that he is vocally opposed to Russefeiring in every way makes him (and the boy squad) total losers. In fact, Chris Schistad referred to Jonas as a nerd and the boy squad plainly wasn't in William's radar at all. It wasn't a thing like in Skam NL, where Kes' squad was leagues and miles above Noah's squad in terms of coolness (MOTHERfucker... don't even try to tell me Gijs was cooler than Kes lmao). Jonas would've been seen as a loser and a burnout, and that's what Jonas was talking about when he told Eva that she was always doing the popular thing to do. Because he very staunchly refused to participate in this tradition, despite the fact that doing so made him an outcast, because, for him, THAT was the moral thing to do.

Having read all this (you poor soul), and being on tumblr like you are, is it really that unthinkable that Jonas would think that Russefeiring and the culture associated with it is crap? Do you really think a 16-year old has the nuance to say, "you know, Russefeiring stands for everything I hate, but since you're friendless because of me, and this is your chance at having friends, I will put my ideals aside and support you in this." Absolutely not lmao. How many of you would even now shit on friends if they stepped outside the line of what tumblr considers woke? How many people on twitter turn on each other for transgressions like stanning the wrong Skams? Jonas was shitty because he was super rigid in what he considered the right way to behave, but in that sense, he was actually one of the most accurate portrayals of a specific type of Gen Z. Unlike idk, characters who quote fucking Animal Farm to talk about school festivals.

(And NOW that all of that has been established, I can finally begin dissecting season 1 lol.)

[goldafterglow]

Head canon: MAKING JACK BLUSH. I NEED TO SEE IT. 🥺

Summary: Jack Daniels is a pretty cowboy.

Paring: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x reader

Word Count: 1.3k+

Warnings: soft!Jack, no sins but they are for sure basking in the post-sin afterglow, a lil bit of blushing for our baby boy, this is not beta read bc i’m impatient

Author’s Note: YESDJHGJFD I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF THIS. This is also my first little like drabble, except it’s too long but ig 1.3k is a drabble for me kids this is the standard.

It’s early in the morning. 1:43 am to be exact. But you can’t bring yourself to end the night; he always make it so hard to sleep. In a good way of course; a really good way.

It’s in the afterglow that his feelings begin to melt, glaciers in his mind turning to liquid as the golden amber spills gently from his lips and over your chest so that it will encapsulate you, dry around you and encase you, keeping his words wrapped around your body forever. Embroidered into the soft chenille of your neck and whispered into the lobes of your ears. He speaks to you in a way that you can feel; it’s a pleasure of its own to feel his lips kiss the dips of your clavicles through his words, his voice low and sending wide vibrations through your sternum. It feels sinful, heavenly, like something too good to be right.

It feels nice.

You’re laid by him on your side, face buried into his bare chest as his thick fingers run along the curve of your spine, re-exploring you with a sense of focused clarity that he doesn’t often get when he’s overwhelmed with lust and passion. His fingers are careful, sensitive, picking up on every bump and blemish until he can paint the perfect picture of you under his closed eyelids, even as the meek moonlight bathes your waist and glimmers against the sheets. Perfect.

He’s resolved to a comfortable state of wordlessness, eyes trained on the top of your head as you bask. There truly is something golden about the afterglow he casts onto you; you always seem to feel like you’re floating, like not even gravity could keep you from ascending to the clouds with him. He makes you feel precious.

With an inhale of his musk, you slowly nudge your chin so that you can look up at him, fingers tracing his jaw. You love to let him shower you in his affection like a delicate hummingbird is kissed by tiny drops of rain, but you rarely take the time to take him in. The bump of his nose is highlighted by the window’s rays, his lips still a little blushed and swollen from the night. The side of your palm runs up along the side of his face before finding his hair; it’s been mussed, disheveled by your greedy fingers. Gorgeous.

“What’s going on in that big beautiful mind of yours, angel?” Jack ponders, prodding you tenderly with his words. He can tell when you’re lost in thought, lost in him. Perhaps he can’t tell when you have no desire to be found, when you want to be left to traverse the tall grass of his forest and hug the applewood in his eyes. What a way to go.

“Nothing, Jack,” you assure. It’s a weak excuse, an almost embarrassing attempt at deflecting his question, but maybe it’s because you want him to ask you again, dig a little deeper into you so he can make a home inside you. Never leave.

“Now, darlin’,” he starts, feigning a little sternness in his tone, “I think you know good and well that ol’ Jack can tell when you’re fibbin’. Ain’t no use lyin’ to me, honey. I’ll catch ya every time.” Your heart swells swells a little at his words, because he’s so honest with you. You know he knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself. He’s made you his hobby, learning you like a subject and studying you like a book. He can always read you.

And yeah; he always catches you.

You take a few diamond-adorned seconds to look at him; his mustache rests right on top of his soft smile, there to accent his words and tickle your neck when he’s feeling playful. His eyes are wide like when a two-month old baby can finally look at its mother in awe, utterly mystified and doe-y. His face is sculpted by the gods, chiseled to magnificence in his charcoal features, and yet he uses it to show you he loves you. He loves you.

“You’re so pretty, Jack,” you whisper. The words barely leave your lips as a noise, traveling to his ears as wisps of the breeze you blow onto him.

Jack Daniels is floored.

It’s not a word he’d ever use to describe himself. Cocky, sure. Sexy, absolutely. Brash, confident, competent; he wasn’t too shy to toot his own horn every once in a while. But pretty? Flowers are pretty; butterflies are pretty. When the sleepy sun yawns and breathes a peach glow onto the front-porch flower bed, that’s pretty. When you step outside to dip yourself in the golden afterglow and he walks out into the backyard to find you sitting on the quaint bench he built just for you. When he drags himself into the kitchen in the morning to find you already there, frying up bacon on his stove in nothing but his unbuttoned flannel and last night’s bra; that is fucking pretty.

But Jack Daniels -- is he pretty? He looks down at you carefully. He can tell when you’re fibbin’, after all. 

You don’t look like a dishonest woman to him.

“You’ve already got me in bed with you,” he teases, trying to deflect. He can’t handle the weight of your words, isn’t strong enough to hide what they do to him, and he needs you to take them back before he bursts into a supernova of rouge love. “You don’t need to-”

“I mean it, baby,” you interrupt, tone serious. You can tell he doesn’t want to believe you, doesn’t want to grapple with the intensity of your thoughts. But he needs to know, he has to trust you’re not deceiving him. “You’re beautiful.”

His smirk is gone, his smug, self-assured grin nowhere to be seen. The room is dark; he knows that. But the moonlight hits him just right, at just the right angle that you can see that sweet strawberry syrup tint his cheeks, giving him up. You can’t help but smile a little, like you’ve done something good. He’s good.

Jack’s breathing is a little jagged, his heartbeats a little stuttered. What was it he’d done to deserve you again? Oh right; nothing.

Your hand leaves his hand to cup his red cheek, thumb running right under his big eyes. He leans into it, face turning a little to nuzzle your palm, and the notion makes you giggle. A fierce lion reduced to a whimsical lamb, so gentle under your touch. He is vulnerable when he is with you, especially in these shared moments of solitude, and you wonder if you could look at him like this forever.

Blushing.

“C’mere, pretty boy,” you tease, but you mean it. You mean every word.

You nudge him towards you, his face finding solace in your chest. He shifts down a little, his soft body wrapping around your middle. He can hide in you, feel pretty in your arms. He’s safe in you.

“You think I’m pretty, sugar?” he asks softly. Almost a little timid. He’s embarrassed to need validation like this, ashamed that he’s practically begging you to say those words again, but you make him feel so warm, so secure, and he knows that the last person to leave him for a lapse in strength is you.

You press a kiss to the top of his scalp, his wild hair tickling your nose but you don’t care; you want him close. Closer.

“I know it,” you whisper, throat closing on itself a little because you’re so grateful that you finally get to tell him. That Jack can finally begin to grasp just how much he means to you. There’s so much more you want to say, but you don’t want to overwhelm him with it because you know he loves you with a fury and passion that drowns him without you piling on your love too.

And as Jack closes his eyes, finally ready to let the night end, he thinks he might know it too.

Tags (ik this is a drabble but idk lmao):  @gustavos @catfishingmorales @keeper0fthestars @1zashreena1 @blancatobarxoxo @honeyedspace @chaotic-noceur @opheliaelysia @adikaofmandalore @din-damn-djarin @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @buckstaposition @the-feckless-wonder @ergotautology (girl you know what to do) 

also im gonna never tag anyone in my headcanons again bc that was embarrassing yikes gjfhdjgd

[makeste]

my long boring post about chapter 293 and Kacchan’s hero name

lmao I think that’s all of them. anyways, so I said I was gonna do a post on this, and so here goes.

first off, I just want to say that people are allowed to not like the name! it’s a completely subjective thing, there’s no right or wrong “it’s good” or “it’s bad.” or rather, there is a right or wrong, and it’s whichever one you think it is. if you think it’s good, you’re right. if you think it’s bad, you’re also right. it’s an opinion, it doesn’t need to be backed up by peer review lol.

that said, here is my own completely subjective opinion: I think “Dynamight” (though please not with the capital “m”, I beg you lol) is a terrific name for him honestly. it’s clever wordplay, it’s a subtle callback/tribute to his favorite hero who is also his inspiration for becoming a hero, and it’s a perfect fit for his chosen aesthetic. it’s honestly great.

and what makes it even better is that at the same time, it is also stupid as fuck lmao. this is a name that encapsulates the duality of man. it’s the perfect metaphor for this boy who think he’s the hottest shit god ever invented, and has no idea that the number of people who take him seriously after interacting with him for more than ten seconds is actually in the single digits. this hero name is the equivalent of an excited puppy ferociously bounding towards a squirrel only to trip over its own feet and fall flat on its face. it thinks it is scary as fuck, and has no idea that 30,000 people on TikTok think it’s the most adorable thing they’ve ever seen. I unabashedly love it, and will also ceaselessly roast the everloving shit out of it without the slightest remorse, just like I roast the beloved boy attached to it. that’s just how it is lol.

so that’s how I feel about the name! however, this next part I need to emphasize: my opinion of the name, and my opinion of whether or not I actually think this will be his name, are two different things. I like the name Dynamight. I really do. and I also think there is next to no chance that this will actually be his hero name.

here’s the thing. this would have been a perfect name for him if it had been his chosen name back in chapter 45 when everyone else picked their aliases. it would have fit in seamlessly with the rest of his class. Red Riot, Chargebolt, Earphone Jack, Sugarman, Uravity; those are all names that stick in your mind and look great on official merch. those are names that sell action figures, but they also do a great job of representing the individuals behind the names. they have personality. and so does “Dynamight”, for sure.

but the thing is, for whatever reason, Horikoshi didn’t have him pick this name back in chapter 45. he went with a running gag instead. “King Explosion Murder”, “Lord Explosion Murder”, and so forth. and in the end, we never got a hero name at all. he could have had him pick Dynamight after we’d had our laughs. hell, he could have used it as an early easter egg hinting at Kacchan’s admiration for All Might, which wouldn’t be officially revealed until the final exam arc about twenty chapters later. “Dynamight” in Japanese is written out in katakana -- ダイナマイト (“dainamaito”). this is the word that’s used in Japan for actual dynamite. there is no inherent indicator that it’s a pun; it just so happens that the “mite” in dynamite is spelled out phonetically in Japanese the exact same way that “might” is. so the pun isn’t obvious unless you know to look for it. Horikoshi could have left us all thinking that “Dynamite” was his name until chapter 62 or thereabouts when he revealed that Katsuki looked up to All Might, at which point Horikoshi could finally reveal the official English spelling and it would be like a second name reveal. which would have been pretty sweet, actually.

but my point being, for some reason he instead chose not to do this. instead he chose to drag it all out for 250 chapters, content to let us all languish. this man had not a shred of mercy for the thousands of Bakugou fans who were all “please, sir, the fic,” before eventually giving up and adopting Ground Zero as the official-unofficial name until we either got a real reveal or died of old age. he dragged it out, and kept it as a gag, and eventually it was just like, fine, whatever.

and then this happened.

and it changed everything.

because you see, all of a sudden “Bakugou’s Hero Name” wasn’t just a running joke gag plot anymore. in the span of three sentences, Horikoshi changed the entire meaning of it. “your hero name represents your desires. the embodiment of how you wish to be. your ideal self.”

just like that, the whole mystery of “what will Bakugou’s hero name be” goes from being a funny little ongoing thing to an existential question, with the implication being that the choice he finally makes, whatever it may be, will in essence reveal the very core of his character. “your ideal self.” in other words this will really be almost the pinnacle of his entire character arc. his hero name, when he finally picks it, will show us just how far he’s come. it will show us his answer to “what kind of person do you want to be.”

that is an insane amount of meaning to suddenly dump onto something that up until this point had just been a funny little running gag. “lol Bakugou loves murder and death.” “lol at this rate Bakugou will graduate while still not having an actual hero name.” from that, to suddenly out of the blue, “Bakugou’s hero name will show us who he is as a person.” like, holy shit though. and mind you, this isn’t something that’s been done for any other character. this is very Bakugou-specific. all this build-up and significance has been ascribed to his hero name specifically. at this point his name is basically its own fucking plot. it’s literally its own individual little arc. all of that build-up. all of that meaning and importance given to it.

and then Horikoshi goes and gives us this.

so. like... okay, I guess??

like, just some quick things of note here though:

he is still doing the whole “explosive destruction murder” thing on top of the “Dynamight” part. indicating that there has not been the slightest bit of thoughtful consideration actually given on his part. literally the one thing that everyone and their mom was trying to explain to him not to do, and all of it went in one ear and out the other. which is fine!! he is adorable here and I want to ruffle his hair, honestly. but it’s clear to me that he still hasn’t grasped what Jeanist was trying to explain to him before, if this is really his answer to “what would you consider to be your ideal self” lol.

the name is INSTANTLY panned by every single person in the surrounding vicinity, villains included. hell, Mirio might as well have stabbed him all over again. obviously this is intentionally being used as a lighthearted moment to briefly give the audience a breather before we wade back into the Todoroki drama; but at the same time it indicates that this name isn’t exactly going to be taken seriously by anyone who hears it in-universe. they are literally wincing upon hearing it skjlklhkgf.

lastly, none of the people closest to him -- Deku, All Might, Kirishima, or Shouto -- are even there to hear it. all of that build-up, all of that “Kacchan’s hero name will show us how far he’s come in his character development”, and then when it finally happens, the people who have had the most impact aren’t even there to partake in the moment. Shouto and Deku are busy dealing with an entirely separate plot and trying very hard not to be set on fire while Kacchan is out here providing comic relief.

because that’s really what this is, though. this is a joke. like, I don’t mean that in a pejorative sense; I mean that it is literally a joke. and so what you’re telling me is, if this really is his hero name, we waited 250 chapters and Horikoshi built up an entire character arc around it, only to have the end result be a joke panel that in the end was arguably not even the biggest thing that happened in the chapter.

like, idk, maybe there’ll be a flashback about it later after all’s said and done which will imbue it with more meaning as some have suggested. maybe Horikoshi will explain how it’s a childhood throwback name that Deku once picked for him, like that theory that’s been making the rounds. I’m not saying it won’t be possible to build on this after the fact. but it will be after the fact, all the same. as far as the initial reveal goes... this is it. the epitome of anticlimactic. a brief joke reveal mid-fight where everyone immediately goes “are you fucking serious” and he’s all “I WAS FUCKING SERIOUS” and falls down out of comedy lmao.

and so, to wrap this post up finally, basically the way I see it is that there are two possibilities here. either (1) I have been way overthinking this from day one and it was never really that deep and Horikoshi thought this would be an appropriate and funny conclusion to a plotline which in his mind was always meant to be mostly lighthearted, with the Jeanist stuff mostly just thrown in there to push Bakugou into picking an at least halfway-decent name in spite of himself.

or, (2) this isn’t going to be his final hero name either. this is instead the last hurrah of the “Lord Explosion Murder” part of that plotline, and after he’s laughed out of the room yet again he will mope and cross out this one as well, and Horikoshi will sit on it for another 500 chapters until he finally reveals it at the very fucking end of the series. like at this point I wouldn’t put it past him to wait until the very last page. I s2g, this man. but the flipside of it is that when that moment finally does happen, I fully believe it will be a moment that actually feels earned. it will feel right. it will feel like the moment we spent all that time waiting for. or at least that’s what I hope.

so anyway, those are my thoughts on it! tl;dr, while I like Dynamight as a hero name in and of itself, I don’t think it’s going to be endgame, mostly because nothing about that reveal moment actually felt right to me. and of course, it’s very possible that I’m completely wrong about this; it wouldn’t be the first time (Kacchan’s quirk says hello). but on the other hand fandom isn’t totally batting a thousand either (Ground Zero says what up), so hey. we’ll see!

[kaminohana]

the meme man full analysis

Yeehaw here we go. Analysis of Mikoto Kayano’s video and song, along with some theories about the many themes and symbols in the video. Note: If there’s any other supplemental material for him out there, I haven’t read it. This is just an analysis with the music video we were given. If I happen to miss stuff that was mentioned before, I may talk about it in another post lmao

I was SUPER invested in this video as I watched it and soon realized “Oh shit, I think Mikoto’s plural”. Cuz, you know, I’m plural too (not disclosing what kind) and it felt SO good to see some actual parallels to stuff I go through- though of course not to Mikoto’s degree.

That said, I feel I should make a disclaimer in passing: yes, portraying your only plural character as homicidal ain’t the best representation. But, you know, we’ve seen other cases like that in Milgram so I’m just gonna leave it at that. Personally, I’m not that offended because the execution is SO top-notch. Though, hey, I totally understand how this can be very frustrating to other systems to see plurality depicted in such an unhealthy light- if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

Keep in mind the point of the Milgram series is to make you uncomfortable in so quickly incriminating someone; if you’re hesitating to determine someone as guilty, hey, that’s probably intended and good! It’s about personal decision, so I’m not going to judge you one way or the other in voting. I just find it fascinating how these videos can put us in such conflict. This is all just my own perspective, BTW, so if you disagree with some of these points, good! I’m just hoping to share my thoughts since I can make a lot of connections. I’m by no means an expert in plurality or tarot, I just have some background in both and decided to try my hand at this analysis, so I really don’t the final say on what’s going on in the video.

Now, onto the actual video analysis.

I’m sticking with the basic idea that Mikoto is split into two parts; his more loveable, gentler side, which I referred to in another post as Softboy Mikoto, and the more violent side which may be acting as a catharsis to his frustrations. I referred to this side previously as the Devil alter, as he is depicted with the Devil major arcana tarot card. I can see how this could be taken badly, so for now I’m just going to refer to him as the shadow alter. There are many themes of duality in the video, most commonly with the symbol of the half moon which appears so many times. Shadow of the moon etc etc. I’ll be bringing this up several times as I analyze the lyrics. I’ll be breaking down the lyrics as evidence to support the idea that Mikoto is plural, and to show how softboy Mikoto (and shadow alter Mikoto) view this particular relationship and how this culminates in murder. Sometimes I refer to Mikoto (as a whole), softboy Mikoto, or shadow alter Mikoto depending on what I’m trying to describe in the below.

First piece: the title. MeMe. Me x2. A dead giveaway, like Umbilical. Also, it can be a meme, which is interesting taking the definition of the word meme in this context: “an element of a culture or system of behavior passed from one individual to another by imitation or other nongenetic means” (Oxford Dictionaries).  HMMMM. I know memes are generally within the context of a community, but I think it’s interesting to actually apply this to Mikoto. What exactly is being passed on? Could we argue that Mikoto’s frustrations from one of his parts is being passed on to the other? Interesting to think about, though it may not be relevant.

Going into the lyrics:

So from here I’m guessing there was a point in Mikoto’s life where his plurality was not an issue; or, potentially, there was a time before his split. These were the good times.

Playing dead vs. being alive – representing duality. May refer to how, when one side has their way, the other is locked away in the headspace with no control, thus feeling like being dead. In the context of “if only”, perhaps he’s wishing that he just didn’t do anything if only to prevent things from getting this far.

“If” I could end- I believe Mikoto (particularly softboy Mikoto) is saying “Hey, I have no control over my other side. If I did, would things still be the same? Would I still be ‘letting’ this happen?”

“Keep it” and “hide it away” I feel like are both representative of his shadow alter and of the desires that alter represents. Many words related to destruction are tied to this alter, so it could be seen as Mikoto trying to hide those urges as well.

“’I’ will save ‘me’”- this is a very interesting line that I think very well encapsulates the shadow alter’s initial motives; he’s saying “hey, I’m going to take care of us,” I believe to try and convince softboy Mikoto to let him out. As far as if softboy Mikoto can actually “let” him out is TOTALLY up for debate.

Part of the reason I refer to the other alter as softboy Mikoto is because there are softer words I notice used by him in the song; here’s I’m seeing “snuggle”, so I think this side of him is more vulnerable and soft.

SWITCH, shake up that brain- wow couldn’t be any more obvious here

This is where the chorus starts. This I think is from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, PARTICULARLY when he’s trapped in the headspace. There are many forms of plurality IRL in which alters cannot simultaneously front, so one or more are “pushed” back into the headspace. This very act occurs several times throughout the song in the weird minimalist vaporwave shadow realm room, where the tarot cards are. During this time, we can assume that is when the shadow alter is fronting. Softboy Mikoto slowly starts to become more helpless and fearful in this space as the song goes on, and this is where he makes his celtic cross tarot spread that quite frankly defines the whole song. I discussed that in my other post.

Another facet of plurality that is applied here is amnesia, which is common, especially when alters are pushed back to the headspace. Within the headspace, there may be a lack of awareness to the outside world, which Mikoto seems to express in his confused sentiments like the above (in the video, he is also scratching his head, which as a gesture can represent being confused). “Why am I here?” can act as a double entendre, both referring to “Why have I suddenly been pushed to this headspace?” as well as the whole point of Milgram- “Why am I in prison?”. He may not be aware of exactly what he did, hence why he feels it’s a mistake. He may be experiencing amnesia of what his shadow alter is doing, so he doesn’t even know what crime he committed. However, he at least has enough awareness to tell someone else is present in his body doing things, so he begs the viewer “Hey, just watch whatever my body is doing and it’ll all eventually make sense. I don’t have access to this information, but you do.” I thought this was an interesting fourth wall break.

The truth revealing itself could also be the truth coming to light from the particular tarot reading he does in the headspace; note that the cards only seem to be appear in this place and not in the outside world. So softboy Mikoto is trying to figure out what’s going on this way. If he can’t figure it out himself, maybe the cards can give him some direction.

Another duality- “I won’t forgive you if you reveal the truth” vs. “However I know I’m right when I say I’m innocent”. Or he could be right about something else.

I’m wondering if the breaking here is just reflecting the shadow alter or is softboy Mikoto actually wishing he could end the shadow alter. He at least wants things to change; the way things are right now is not something he’s okay with. Though, it sounds like he isn’t getting help with this and has no idea if he can even arrest full control again. It seems at this point, this has been going on for a while so he’s stopped trying.

In the video, the shadow alter is doing a GREAT job hiding the evidence; while of course probably just trying to not get caught, the shadow alter may also be trying to hide his crime from softboy Mikoto so he’s none the wiser.

He’s hoping he can be rid of the shadow alter side, but I think he also is dumping all his difficult feelings onto the shadow alter. Maybe he feels its some sort of release, even if he can’t control it, so he feels a lot of guilt over the shadow alter’s existence, even though that alter is serving a purpose as a conduit for those emotions.

I really really think though that there IS some connection between softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto. Maybe they are both truly aware of each other, hence the scene where they are viewing each other through the mirror. I think here, softboy Mikoto might be admitting that it feels good to let the shadow alter out, like a hug. The “minus energy” probably refers to the shadow alter.

“Maybe it’s okay that we’re separated like this?” he wonders. There seems to be a sense of feeling alive at least that is conveyed through the shadow alter.

SPLIT IN HALF- yeah, again, pretty encompassing.

In the video, I think this is when we have a switch, as Mikoto’s expression changes in the outside world mirror.

The chorus again, softboy Mikoto is shoved into the vaporwave shadow realm headspace. He’s asking the audience to investigate him here, but I also like to joke that he’s like “uwu look at me I could never harm anybody, pwease let me out”, which may be true only so far as softboy Mikoto is out.

I wonder if in “I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me” is directed at the shadow alter instead of the audience? Like softboy Mikoto is saying “I swear to god if you murdered someone im gonna be so pissed, but I also already kinda know it’s happening.” Just another take.

In the video, softboy Mikoto is THROWN into the headspace, where he is gifted with just one hint of what’s going on: The Devil tarot card.

You DARE accuse Miette of murder? Oh! 1000 years jail for Milgram viewer!

Now the vaporwave space starts to turn into a bloody mess; perhaps now softboy Mikoto is starting to put two and two together.

“Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it”- I definitely understand this being plural, like if your alters are causing problems, you may try and chastise them, or you may try and lock them away deep inside, but that often doesn’t stop them from existing. It’s really cool how that idea is present here. Like YES that’s how it is quite often. So even if softboy Mikoto TRIES to smother or accuse his shadow alter, that’s not going to change anything.

It being the same anywhere he goes makes me think he’s been putting up with this for a long time, that it’s not about what environment he’s in because his shadow alter is with him everywhere he goes.

“It’s like what’s wrong isn’t wrong”- may be referring to multiple things:

-the shadow alter having a different morality (hence why murder is okay for him, his indulgence in smokes and…redbull/alcohol, etc)

-OR, how softboy Mikoto’s amnesia isn’t letting him understand the full picture so everything is okay when he’s out fronting (shadow alter cleaned the place up and stuff, perhaps hiding all evidence of murder)

-“I’m already the fake one”- a very common sentiment for plural folks, worrying if you as an alter aren’t “the original” or if you’re not actually split and it’s something you’re making up, etc. I think softboy Mikoto is having these feelings. Poor boy, wish we could get you some therapy instead :/ (all of Milgram would be very different if only most of these people could get therapy, let’s be honest)

Now, what’s special here is that BOTH alters are in the headpace, with shadow alter Mikoto looming ominously behind softboy Mikoto.

During this next instrumental, just a side note: we see what’s going on through security footage. The security cameras reflecting a third person perspective is kind of neat in context of pluralism, where someone else fronting can feel like a third person awareness to another alter. I may be thinking too much into this one, but it’s a fun connection.

Another thing many plural folk go through: DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY. Ah yes, my good friend dissociation. Especially like in Mikoto’s case, where the consequences of being split have drastic consequences, he could be running away from the truth which may always be partially concealed to him. Something’s VERY wrong, he knows this for sure, and it may be at this point he really realizes “Oh shit. I just committed murder.” But instead of taking responsibility in any way, he’s trying to imagine that it’s a fabricated reality. I’m not going to say if this makes him bad or not, but it is a known coping mechanism.

I know I mention that the bad habits of smoking and drinking may be the shadow alters habits, but they could also be softboy Mikoto’s own methods of escapism, which definitely fits with the above lyrics. “I need to wake up soon”- but he still realizes that he’s going to have to face the harsh truth of reality soon.

Now this point indicates a marked change in softboy Mikoto and shadow alter Mikoto’s relationship: I believe there may be a time when softboy Mikoto expects to come back out to the front, but now the shadow alter is starting to take over fully and keep softboy Mikoto locked inside. This is supported by the Outcome card in his celtic cross spread being The Devil. Not only does this card have its own meanings, but here it may mean that the more violent side of him takes over.

Again, don’t know if he’s talking to the audience or his shadow alter in never forgiving this outcome. I believe softboy Mikoto does have a clearer morality in that murder is NOT okay, and if he were to fully acknowledge that he as a whole was capable of that, I think he’d break down. So he’s like “it better NOT be true” because he doesn’t know how he’d be able to deal with that.

Interesting in the video is when Mikoto snaps and the headspace turns red again; I would think this is when the shadow alter is entering the scene and taking over. The snap here is symbolic of the switch.

Now presumably softboy Mikoto is like “PWEASE WET ME OUT MISTEW OBAMA”, which, again with the double meaning, can refer to letting him out of the vaporwave shadow realm headspace OR letting him out of prison. Both apply.

“That it’s a lie

That I’m right”- a nice duality here. Mikoto is having difficulty separating the truth from reality.

Also NOW he is forgiving. Forgiveness vs not forgiveness (grudge)

I think it’s gotten so bad that he’s like “okay fine. Fine if I committed murder, fine if you’re accusing me of murder, but please help me understand what’s going on. Let me out”. Maybe he’ll forgive the shadow alter if only he fesses up to the murder.

Of note for the scene however is that shadow alter Mikoto is holding up The Fool card, which represents softboy Mikoto in this case. “I’m right” may be the shadow alter’s sentiment.

-THE CARDS AT THE END-

Then, all the cards show up in more detail, all depicting weapons instead of the standard minor arcana that you might see in your standard Rider Waite tarot deck (which these are based off of). The Wands are baseball bats, the Swords are kitchen knives, the Cups are…poison cans? Acid? The Pentacles are….records but I can see these being rotary saws if you squint. The Wheel of Fortune has car wheels with a snake….GTA time baby (the snake being hidden danger, the devil’s temptation, etc). The chariot is a really weird motorcycle death machine. I was thinking how like, people would drag people along behind them while driving a vehicle as a method of torture so there is that.

Now we see some cards not in the original spread- I think this represents shadow alter Mikoto inserting himself into the headspace and changing things to fit his goals. We see a couple placed in the original spread, but some don’t and are just free-floating, but you’ll see below we have enough context to decipher their meaning.

First, it’s the Page of Pentacles, which has taken over the position of the 7 of swords as the current challenge affecting the issue. This card indicates “Manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development”. I think this means the shadow alter is finally learning to take full control.

Then we see the reverse 2 of swords, which represents “Indecision, confusion, information overload, stalemate”. This could probably represent softboy Mikoto not suddenly understanding why the shadow alter is ALSO in the headspace. Maybe his dual presence in the outside world AND the headspace is indicative of exactly when he learned to take full control. This was NOT in Mikoto’s original spread.

Wheel of Fortune again, which was in the original spread. “Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control”. Yup, that confirms it.

Next, the Five of Swords from the original spread comes up. “Conflict, tension, loss.png, defeat, win at all costs, betrayal”. Softboy Mikoto is now being completely taken over. There is a facedown card on the chair. This might be the one that reads as Death later, so it may be that softboy Mikoto is…KILLED OFF?

Cup of Ace, “Love, compassion, creativity, overwhelming emotion”. I think this one is also meant to represent softboy Mikoto, but it could be that the shadow alter sees it as an act of mercy to take full control for softboy Mikoto. Maybe he feels his alter can’t handle reality and he’s going to take over full time. Or more likely he just has ulterior motives.

Reverse King of Cups. “emotional manipulation, moodiness, volatility”. Softboy Mikoto was lead along, thinking it was okay to leave things to the shadow alter or to exist alongside him. Now we see that isn’t a viable solution.

Reverse Five of Wands. “conflict avoidance, diversity, agreeing to disagree”.  I went over this more in the other post.

Chariot is the last one, WHICH ALSO WAS NOT IN THE ORIGINAL SPREAD. “Control, willpower, success, action, determination”. The shadow alter Mikoto has taken full control. Which is very quickly followed by…

Shadow alter Mikoto drawing Death. Also not in the original spread. Perhaps effectively “killing off” softboy Mikoto and betraying him.

Concluding Thoughts.

Now, I understand I do take most of these lyrics from softboy Mikoto’s perspective, but I’m sure there’s a layer of deception added on by his shadow alter. The Challenge card of the 7 of swords did represent betrayal. So softboy Mikoto’s only context into what’s going on outside may be his headspace tarot reading. If you want to question some of the lyrics, or even think one of the alters is lying, that would add SO much to the complexity of the situation, and I wouldn’t put it past the Milgram team to add something like that.

Common Themes/Symbols:

The mirror, both in the headspace and in the outside world bathroom

The Hanged Man- in a painting in the headspace and on Mikoto’s shirt. Indicative of being wrongly accused or martyred. Softboy Mikoto is likely represented with this, as well as The Fool. The Fool painting probably is there to show that he doesn’t know any better, that he is without the knowledge of what his shadow alter is doing (or doesn’t believe he’s doing anything wrong)

The Half Moon- a light side and a dark side. Pretty self-explanatory. Symbolically, it can also represent life and death. NICE.

Sorry if the conclusions end up being kind of vague. That’s the way a lot of this video is; what’s really going on, as it usually is, is up to viewer interpretation at this stage. I was just hoping to provide a bit of context into the images in the video, plural life, and narrator interpretation. I just really love this video and after this full analysis hope others can at least appreciate the work that went into it.

[dpargyle]

This is the artist formerly known as Lucy T.D. Reams/D.P. Argyle/hartpounds/davieverse/dbundles42 btw lmao: Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking. I’ve begun to realize ‘trans girl Lucy’ doesn’t fit everything I am or want to be.

Gender is a wonky fluid thing - & I will always be on some sort of journey with all its vast tentacles - I am sure. But right now, at least - I think ‘GenderPunk’ fits me better. He/She/They pronouns all work.

To go slightly more in depth - I don’t feel a strong need to transition MtF personally. At one time I did - but as with many things - my thoughts on the matter have evolved. (ofc medically transitioning is not the end all be all)

But I also don’t feel any sort of binary can encapsulate everything I feel about myself & the universe. I hope that makes sense. Much love, Davie.

[dragynkeep]

Thoughts on the arguments made in this stream from 23:58 to 28:26, and from 42:30 to 59:08, RE:Wandavision and handling grief?

https://youtu.be/L8jMxjMGm4o

me seeing the 10 hour mark : oh my god??

okay so there are a few things for me to tackle here. one, i can totally understand why people are questioning why the supposed heroes are doing villainous things & getting away with it, but i think that's also just a narrative shift from what we expect heroes to be. we've had decades upon decades of heroes being portrayed as contentiously good, as never in the wrong even when their actions sometimes don't hold up to that. that's why the rise of the anti hero in the 90s was so prominent, it was a cultural shift & reaction to the staunch, upheld, godly figure of a hero in comic culture. sure, it went a little overboard — god that daredevil movie will be imprinted in my mind til the day i die — but that doesn't mean it's bad.

now, we're seeing heroes being portrayed as not wholly black or white & honestly i think that's a good thing. being a hero doesn't mean never doing wrong, it means having core beliefs like helping those who need to be helped, protection, serving the community, doing good. & a lot of that is based on perception. it's ambiguous, like humans are ambigious, none of us are black or white. just many, many shades of grey.

i think the exploration of heroes as more human figures than gods is one that should be encouraged & has been throughout the recent decade; even in the og god figure himself, superman. i don't like man of steel for a lot of things but it did explore how far can kal el go while still calling himself a hero. the same with wanda. all wanda has ever wanted to do is find justice — for herself, for her family, for the people harmed by a "hero", tony stark — & a home. one that was taken away from her. over & over she's had to fight against this prejudice against her for being a gifted person or whatever marvel is calling the Not Mutants in the mcu & over & over, she's lost her home. even when she tried to help, things went wrong & it wasn't always her fault, but it explores through the ideal of a hero, what do you do when your good intentioned actions don't turn out heroically. tony's answer was to call her a weapon of mass destruction which yikes, that's one you created sir. but that's another rant lmao.

i think also a lot of people are taking wandavision as one complete, said & done narrative, rather than step one of a larger story. wandavision is meant to encapsulate wanda's grief, show how all of this trauma she's accumulated has overcome her sense of right, wrong & want for justice; all while positing the idea of just how far will she go to right the injustices she has personally faced. how far will wanda go to be her own hero, her children's hero? she knows she's done wrong. the audience knows she's done wrong. no one is pretending like wanda has come through wandavision unscathed & a shining angel — which is who wanda has always been. wanda has never been a complete shining, squeaky clean hero, never. not even in the comics, she began as an accomplice of magneto for gods sake.

i also think a lot of people are just taking the show ... at face value when it comes to wanda & her awareness / amount of control over the hex. the show should not need to spell it out like most other mcu ips do, just use a damn braincell for once 😭 it's literally the stages of grief played out.

denial / 50s. wanda made the hex as a manifestation of what is considered to be a psychotic / emotional break & has no idea what's going on.

denial & anger / 60s & 70s. wanda begins to clue in but is also ignoring it because she goes between the denial & anger stage of grief a fair few times. this is most notable in her throwing monica out of the hex & then immediately looking at herself in fear & denial, not wanting to accept what happened.

anger & bargaining / 80s. wanda is now completely aware but refusing to do anything about it because she wants to bargain for this new, happier life she has. see, her telling vision that he doesn't want to know the truth of the hex, & her telling agent asshole to leave her alone & she'll leave them alone.

depression / 90s. wanda is literally in a depressive state the entirity of this episode, unable to handle her situation & having no emotional energy to fix her rift with vision or even acknowledge her situation.

acceptance / current. wanda accepts that she has done irreparable harm & removes herself from the situation, but we can see that these other stages haven't left her because she's still holding only billy / tommy & is still hurting, angry.

grief is not linear, you don't magically solve it when you go through these five stages like a checklist & i think wandavision has been one of the most accurate depictions of grief & how you can reach pitfalls & backtrack while exploring it through wanda's powers. the show shouldn't have to spell it out because people can't understand it. i didn't understand inception in the first viewing, i'm not going to call it a bad movie because i didn't get it.

wandavision isn't the full story but people are judging it & wanda by extension as if it is. her story is still continuing. this is like taking tony at ironman 1 & going "wow, he's such a shitty hero, why are they showing this war criminal as a good person because he apologised one time for making weapons of war & enabling the terror regimes of other countries?" like. the criticism doesn't work because it's fundamentally flawed. it does become accurate later on but again, another rant for tony stank lmao.

we know wanda is going to be in multiverse of madness & we know her story is far from over. it would be great if people could give that story the courtesy of being told in it's completion before deriding it for not being done, especially when wandavision works as a compelling narrative on it's own as well as being part of a larger work.

[albatris]

HI hello hope you're enjoying this nice rainy Tuesday, I was listening to 'The Only House That's Not On Fire (Yet)' and I know it's a ATDAO bop and I was just curious as to how exactly? May I request a Ramble? As in-depth as you would care to be? Thank you thank you

hey hey hello hi!! I am enjoying this nice rainy-Tuesday-that-is-now-a-not-rainy-Thursday c: I hope you're enjoying it also, hope you're goin good, hope you're up to all sorts of cool stuff!

thank you for the question!!! I am always always excited at any opportunity to ramble about ATDAO song choices so as soon as I saw this in my inbox my thoughts started going a billion miles an hour

anyway, hey, yeah, ramble time! ramble might be a little fuzzily-worded because my brain is a little fuzzily-everythinged but hopefully it makes enough sense ahaha

ok, so!

this one is a bit of a peculiarity on the ATDAO playlist, actually! it falls into the category of "this song doesn't have an awful lot of direct plot relevance and is mostly just here because Vibes" yet, somehow, if pressed to name the song on the playlist that encapsulates ATDAO best as a whole, I would say it comes pretty close to the top spot :P

so, yes, a lot of the specifics of the lyrics don't particularly fit if we're thinking in literal terms......... the ENERGY is unparalleled though. HOWEVER I do have some particular parts of the song I can direct your attention to, of course, which I'll get into in a sec -

but ya, as for the song as a whole? it's the cheerful, upbeat acceptance of a series of completely bizarre circumstances! it's just a good bop for being like Welp I Guess This Is My Life Now. and being so accustomed to the completely bonkers state of your reality that it's all just completely mundane to you, which parallels to ATDAO so nicely

plus the start of the second verse, like so

I feel strangely regular / but honestly I prefer it to the usual bizarre / damn that oxymoron

AND the very...... feeling....... concept.....? of this being the only house that's not on fire yet is just kind of like........ I mean, whatever the narrator of the song is involved in, it very much gives me the impression of being entirely at the whims of some force that's volatile and completely incomprehensible

with the "yet" being crucial

But something keeps me as a pet / the only house that's not on fire yet

combined with the general tone of the music gives me the image of just like. sitting on ur front porch sipping a margarita, having just watched the rest of your street devolve into chaos and fire knowing you're completely at the mercy of something bizarre and all-powerful and just being like. "hm. yikes. anyway--"

it's a good tone for the general state of the ATDAO world, which is full of people going about their everyday lives against this bizarre backdrop of ever-present looming apocalyptic dread, completely at the whims of a chaotic and indifferent universe

like

the world is ending! the world is ending! a reality-warping sinkhole just opened in your local bowling alley! but in more pressing concerns, you're almost out of milk, you should try and get to the store before it closes or your mum won't have anything for her cereal tomorrow morning

another point I wanna address is the bridge (?) which is just

the punchline is that there is no punchline

repeated over and over, which is the kicker for this song in its relation to ATDAO imo

'cause like

the theme in ATDAO that keeps coming back and the main......... antagonistic......... concept? force? The Thing The Protagonists Are Constantly Up Against And Struggling With In Some Fashion Or Another? is simply "there is no meaning to this, there is no answer, there is no grand puzzle to be solved, this is all just cold and unfeeling cosmic machinery that doesn't even know you exist"

quite literally, if this is the universe's idea of a joke, there's no punchline

like, the things that happen to Tris and Noa (and Shara and Kai), the things that set the plot in motion, these are acts of chance, these are people being in the wrong place at the wrong time, these are ordinary human people getting swept up into the gears of this endless grinding machine they can barely comprehend and There Is No Point To It. There Is No Motivation Behind It. it happens because it happens!

and there's this shift from like..... seeing it through this very human lens, being angry AT something, being angry AT a particular force, trying to reason with it, trying to plead with it, trying to make it hear you......... to the realisation that there's nothing on the other end of it, there's nothing there to hear you, nothing to take the force of your anger and fear. and like, you knew you were alone, but you're only just realising you're ALONE

n just. "there is no punchline" just clicks FANTASTICALLY for that

(n of course, that's..... grim. so it bears repeating that, like...... the whole heart and soul of ATDAO is people coming face-to-face with the reality of an uncaring unfeeling universe and deciding, Hey, No, Fuck You. it's people caring about people, intentionally, purposefully, violently, no matter the costs! it's the human capacity for love and kindness and connection in the face of horror and indifference! and it matters! even if it doesn't matter at all, it matters!! it matters here and now in this tiny speck of time and space!! love is at the centre of everything!! it's the single greatest act of defiance against the nothing!!!!)

(and that's not relevant to this post at all, I just would have hated to leave on that sort of note LMAO)

long story short: tune good c:

[muse-milkaelis]

Your Sebastian headcanons were well good I loved em personally so keep up the good work!! Is it ok if you do some crush/pining headcanons for him plz? I wanna jump on the trash demon bandwagon lol. And thanks in advance hun!

Hey Anon! I’ve actually done some Sebastian crush headcanons here. Hope you enjoy~

While that post encapsulated a lot of my thoughts on the matter, as far as pining goes... It really depends on the situation. Sebastian has immense patience while also clearly having a great capacity for yearning, as he longs for the day he’ll finally have his meal. That said, I think it tends to be different for him romantically.

As I wrote in the last post, it takes a lot for Sebastian to even recognize romantic interest. So I do think he would pine for said crush, but he wouldn’t be aware of it. This would show itself in a number of ways:

Sebastian’s attention would regularly be on the object of his affections, when they’re in the same area. He would make conversation with them and subconsciously be more aware of their needs/comforts than other guests. He would be around them more often generally speaking

He would tend to show off more. The butler is already embarrassingly flashy, but he would do more stunts in front of a crush.

While Sebs’ attention is most often on his butler duties, between tasks he would wonder what his crush would be doing at that moment, or think up new ways to please or impress them. He’d never stay on the thoughts long enough for them to cement in his mind. He always brushes them off, because he’s a demon butler with bigger things to do. He doesn’t get crushes. He’s just thinking ahead, or amusing himself.

Like I said, Sebastian doesn’t really believe he can have romantic feelings, or at least anything like a sense of adoration and commitment. He’s eons old, life is fleeting, beings are predictable. He simply doesn’t care enough about a relationship that he’d want to be tied to one. Or so he thinks. It takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love to reign in this trash demon.

They would likely need to have a comparable, or at least substantial, life span. It can be hard to feel genuinely committed to someone who will be gone in what feels like a day to him. That said, I don’t think it’s impossible for him. This contract that he started out not caring very much about clearly means a lot to him now. He’s put a lot of work into it and basically starved himself for it, and I think some part of him is invested in the people around him, so I think it’s within the realm of possibility for Sebs to fall for a mortal.

Mortals are by far the most and least predictable beings there are. While their motivations and lifestyles are easily understood by him, they also have been shown to make shocking decisions and act irrationally, selflessly, weirdly, and simply unexpectedly. Sebastian is bored with life, so he needs that novelty in his life.

So, if his crush were immortal, like him, they couldn’t be stagnant. This is much harder to come by, as beings that live forever are much more set in their ways with no motivators to make them act in incredible ways. They have no desperation or desire or yearning beyond that we may feel like watching a favorite tv show. We may love it, feel with the characters, and be devastated by events, but it’s very unlikely that we’d be moved to action like seeking lifelong revenge or becoming a hero based on that feeling of loss.

I feel like that was a very big chunk to read, so here’s some nice spacing! :D

When it comes to the type of love Sebastian needs, it’s, well... Very self indulgent. 

It can’t be too easy, but he also needs their devoted admiration. He is a pride demon, after all. After all his hard work trying to chase down a seemingly untouchable party, he needs to be shown that he is utterly adored. Worshiped, even. 

He would n e v e r admit it, but he adores that shit. Eats it all up. Additionally, the shock of a devotion to him of all things would make him fall all the harder. He loves attention and when it’s cranked up to that depth of love from someone he already cares about, that shit changes him.

Even still, his partner would need to be independent. Someone who falls for him and then only ever ogles over him while doing nothing else will eventually bore him. They need to be on equal planes. Love him, lavish him, worship him, but when morning comes, you’d better be back to going about your day and leave him wanting more. It’s all about predictability vs. novelty. String him along right, and you’ll have demon that would do absolutely anything for you, contract or no contract.

Welp, this got waaayyyyy longer than I wast expecting haha so I hope you enjoy!

Please keep ‘em coming! We need something to do in quarantine lmao.

Take care!

- Stella 💫

[ificanthaveu]

Dani Reviews Wonder

hello, I'm well aware no one asked for this but this is the only way I can order my thoughts on an album and when Romance came out, someone literally asked me to fully review it and I've never forgotten about that and I loved writing a full review so hello here I am

I hate that I have to do this but DISCLAIMER: these are my opinions. I get that you may not agree with them and that’s totally cool, but if you come into my inbox attacking my opinions on a song, I will not answer it and it will be deleted without a second thought. Let’s discuss the songs, not tear each other apart 

and LET’S GO

1. INTRO

Ok so I typically do nothing with intros because I usually think they’re a waste of time. HOWEVER, I really like this one. Now that we’ve heard the whole album, it really encapsulates the entire feel of the rest of the album. It’s been on my playlist since it’s been released and I'm obsessed with it. The soft little piano in the beginning is just perfect and I really love the build up. (not many lyrics to chose from here ope)

You have a million different faces, but they'll never understand unless you let them in

2. WONDER

I never did a full analysis like I was going to for this song. However, I’m going to do like half of one here. I honestly feel like he can be talking about himself, his fans or a girl. You can see it in all 3 ways. I also just feel like there are some lyrics in this where I'm like YES. It reminds me a little bit of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift in the fact that we expect so much from celebrities and like.....why??? It’s just kind of fucked. I think this is honestly such a good single and I really really love it. I feel like it’s just really pure?? if that makes sense. Like he’s just being like “I wonder why it is like this.” and the BRIDGE ugh she's so beautiful.

I wonder why I’m so afraid of saying something wrong. I never said I was a saint.

3. HIGHER

A CERTIFIED BOP. It’s just so lively and upbeat and I wanna dance and I CANNOT WAIT to hear this live. It’s going to be absolutely insane. Blasted it on my way to get coffee this morning. And the lyrics are so lovey and cute but the beat is just too fkn good. I feel like it’s a very common theme in this album to be like “with you, nothing else matters” and like...can’t relate but ALAS I love the music about it anyway.

All eyes are lookin' at us but I can't stop fallin' in love

4. 24 HOURS

OH BOY time to FKN CRY. I absolutely love how old timey it feels. Especially the beginning, it makes me think of 50s music and I’ve been on a big 50s kick recently. Again he’s just so loud about being I don’t care what anyone thinks because I love you and I know it’s you and like YES PLEASE. and just being so in love that you’d throw it all away to come home to that person every day. I really love how the lyrics start with him being like I don’t know how to do this at all but I love you so lets go from there and then figure out the rest. And quoting “only fools rush in” made me so emotional. I love how simple the music is behind it because I think it really encapsulates the feeling of the song. It’s so hard to pick a favorite lyrics for this song my god.

(Besides the entire chorus) I paint the world that you deserve, every color you'd imagine

5. TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

UMMMM OK???? Very Justin Timberlake vibes for me personally. Very 70s. Very vibey. “Draw a map for me laced with strawberries” ???? HOMIES I cannot I genuinely cannot. As sexual as this is, I also think it’s just so PURE. Like just teach me what’s best for you and I’ll do it. Also like...Shawn say “fuck” challenge like homie you could’ve just said it. Please. I also feel like if I was in love with someone, it’d hit different but for me it is just so FUN and I love the guitar parts a TOn. Like Idk how you can’t just get up and dance to this. Also this one live is going to be other worldly. And “babe I won’t stop til you feel the rush” I MEANNNN

F'ing me up, I'm what you dеserve

6. CALL MY FRIENDS

Ok, so idk what to really say about this one. I like the concept. I think the concept itself is really sweet and fuck it hits different when you’re away from all your friends especially during quarantine and college in general. Like I was (still am) on the phone with my friends constantly, because like Shawn said, they know me better than any one else ever will because they watched me go and grow through it. It’s also just sad because we grow up and grow apart and fuck it’s HARD. I’m not a huge fan of the chorus and I think that’s the main thing for me. The verses are sweet, but idk really about the chorus. I’m just indifferent about the chorus. But there are just lyrics in here that really hit me like “I miss how it was when we we wished we were older.” that one really gets me. 

I know you gotta make some sacrifices, I don't wanna be alone for one more night

7. DREAM

Ok I LOVE THIS SONG but I have to first get something off my chest. The first time I listened to it, I could only think of the dream song from shark boy and lava girl. I don’t know why. But I’m done with that now. Moving on. This song is just so sweet and lovey and I’m obsessed with it. I really like the rhythm of it?? I think that’s the word I’m looking for idk. ALSO him talking about their little touch bracelets like wtf why is no one in love with me. I honestly don’t have much to say about this except that I’m thoroughly obsessed with it. I kinda feel like this song could be in a movie?? you feel me??? The echoey “dream”s are also just GORGEOUS, also how it gets so soft at the end fuck I love this song. And if I think too much about it I’ll cry, but the parallels between Dream and Dream of You

I don't wanna wake up without you laying next to me

8. SONG FOR NO ONE

This song makes me sad. Very sad. God, just the feeling of having a notification and wanting it to be that one person and it just never is but every time you’re like ok but what if. I was thinking about this last night and the way I see it is that he’s made it clear all of his songs are for/about Camila. So I feel like this one is very guard up, being like “no no this isn’t about you, I swear I’m not writing songs about you. it’s about no one. it’s just something I made up” which just makes it all so much harder. Also the use of “someone” instead of “her” or “you” is also very like “I’m not going to say it.” It’s just all very sad because you have to imagine everyone asking him all the time who his songs are about and he just had to keep saying “no one.” This is the first time where he’s actually been able to say “HEY THEY’RE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.” And like fuck, finally. Also imagining Shawn drunk calling her and her having to say she doesn’t feel the same. AND when he's like it’s fine I’ll be fine anyway as his voice kind of trails off like GOD that feeling HURTS. I just have way too much to say about this song because I think you can go really deep into it on what the years before Camila and him started dating were really like for him. 

Close my eyes, things are better in my dreams, 'cause I'm with someone, someone I adore

9. MONSTER

I won’t say too much about this bc this song has been out for a little bit, so I’ll make this a little more personal. my friend Han is a HUGE Justin fan and I am pretty obviously a HUGE Shawn fan. and we’d always be like “omg what if” but we thought it was never going to happen so when rumors started circulating about this, we were fucking freaking out. This song is literally our dream collab. I think Justin was the perfect person for this song because of his time in the public eye. And just the whole song being like “you put me up here, so I guess you’re the only one who can push me off.” And it is pretty fucked how we put celebrities on these pedestals and expect them to not make any mistakes at all when we are constantly making them. It’s just hypocritical. It’s also hard to pick a favorite lyric for this one because I think there are a lot that hit hard so I’m doing a fave Shawn and fave Justin

Raise me up into the sky until I'm short of breath // ‘Cause unforgiveness keeps them in control

10. 305

This one surprised me in the best way. I have no idea what I was expecting for this song but god I LOVE IT. I’m obsessed with it and want to jam forever. Just very boppy??? and so HAPPY. I get so smiley when I listen to it. “Waiting for the moment that you’ll let me down” just stuck out to me because I feel like that’s such a universal feeling. Like when everything’s going so good and you’re like....ok what’s about to go wrong. I’m literally dancing in my seat to this baby. The chorus is so catchy and I really wish I was in love pt 358933. I think this may be crowned as my favorite on the album. It’s just so fun and full of love. 

Would take my heart with you if you walked away

11. ALWAYS BEEN YOU

I have been looking forward to this one and she did not disappoint!! Again, this man is screaming about how in love he is and yes, sir I’m listening. You’re the only one my heart keeps coming back to!!!!! And just the very loud instrumental with the soft “always been you”s is SO GOOD. The boy who’s really underneath all the scars and insecurities!!! God, I just feel like this one is especially raw about love. And for the thousandth time, really wish I was in love to fully feel this but STILL it has such a good beat but is still so so soft. 

Full of words I don't know how to say

12. PIECE OF YOU

Heavily reminds me of Jealous by Nick Jonas and I am HERE FOR IT. I feel like we haven’t gotten a ton of this blatant jealousy from him and the HONESTY of this is very like yes I'm possessive. I’m so into you it hurts!!! The counting is also.....hot. Idk why but I love a song that’s very like “yes I'm protective and pathetic and reckless and what about it???” Again, love the beat. A little 80s in my opinion (here’s me remembering it’s MJ inspired lmao). 

From the second you walked in the room, my night is ruined

13. LOOK UP AT THE STARS

*deep breath bc I love this song so much* ok so I read the lil things Spotify had underneath before each song and I cried immediately when I just READ that it was for the fans and then listening to it in that light just killed me. ALSO if you saw his insta live last night he was literally like “look up at the stars!! remember that one!!” and now I'm like OK THANKS. Anyways, It is so soft and fuck it’s so meaningful. This is one of my favorites for sure. It’s literally like he’s sending you away from the concert and this would be such a good closing song (I know it won’t be but I can dream). I’m crying again but “I'm not going to let you down”??? PLEASE I JUST. Calling us angels!! I’LL NEVER BE ALONE Y’ALL I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH. Never Be Alone has very much turned into our song with Shawn as his way to be like hey I’m always here so YOU’LL never be alone, and now here he is saying because YOU ALL are here I am never going to be alone. AND FUCK IT HITS DIFFERENT. AND SPENDING THE NIGHT IN WONDERLAND WITH YOU!!!! God I’m just a puddle after this one

the streetlights are all saying your name, they always say your name

14. CAN’T IMAGINE

he wrote this on his own and yes I'm emotional about it. I don’t think he’s released a song he’s written on his own since handwritten revisited??? (correct me if I'm wrong) but even that alone is enough for me to know he’s getting way more confident in his music. I think it’s a really good closing because it’s so soft and acoustic and very true to him as he started. The raspiness and realness of it even with the lil thing he says at the end. AGAIN, why tf have I not felt a love like this yet??? Of course, I’m just going to not think of it romantically but just having those people where you can’t even begin to even think about what your life would be like without them. Like I think the lack of descriptors is actually really powerful because like...he can’t imagine it, he can’t explain it so let me just tell you that I genuinely don’t know what would happen if you weren’t here. It closes out the album perfectly (not many lyrics to pick from here lmao)

Without you, all things right would feel so wrong

OVERALL - I honestly really like it there are a bunch of songs I can see myself listening to for a WHILE but there are a few that I'm very eh on as well. I really like the sound of it and the production and just the ~feel~ of the whole album

TOP 3

1. 305

2. Look Up At The Stars

3. 24 Hours

Honorary mentions: Dream and Teach Me How To Love

[hey-erika]

SRMTHFG and Gargoyles for 'send me series and I’ll tell you my' meme!

@chanceofcloud

Sorry I answered this so late! I kept overthinking my answers and rewriting it.

SRMTHFG

FAVORITE CHARACTER

Gibson! I find him very endearing. He’s smug and pretentious, but he just tries so, so hard literally all of the time. I enjoyed watching him become more humbled and open minded over time, reminds me of me when I was a pretentious, know-it-all teenager lmao. I just enjoyed every second of screen time he got throughout the series

SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER

Antauri! It’s hard for me to articulate exactly why I love Antauri. He’s just one of the most interesting characters in the series, in my opinion. I love listening to him talk, not just because of his voice but just because I find myself so captivated by anything he has to say. The way he teaches and protects Chiro, but also believes in his intelligence and abilities (usually) makes him what I believe a mentor character should be.

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER

Hmmmm that’s a toughie, I like pretty much all of the characters… I guess Skelemandarin specifically is kind of up and down for me, but I still like him, it’s more so his role in the series later on, I guess. Quite especially in the last season, he’s just kind of there to be Valeena’s lackey and do the hard stuff for her. But, that’s more of a writing issue than an actual issue I have with the character. Also I feel like we deserved to see the two Mandarins interact at least once.

THE CHARACTER I'M MOST LIKE

This one is also tough hahaaaaaa

I guess I’m a combination of Gibson (tries too hard, especially to sound smart and be likeable), Jinmay (tries to be kind to others, not having a solid grip on my identity), and SPRX-77 (deflects bad things that happen to me by turning them into jokes).

FAVORITE PAIRING

GibOtto! Every interaction the two of them have is just a delight to watch, I love watching their personalities play off of each other. Their relationship throughout the series develops in such a sweet way. To me it almost felt like, while all the Spova stuff was going on, Gibson and Otto were just having their own romance arc in the background lmao. I know that, even if we did get an ending, GibOtto would likely never actually be canon, but it just feels like such a natural progression of their relationship, to me at least.

Also if they were to put their heads together to invent things more often, they would be practically unstoppable, I’m just sayin

LEAST FAVORITE PAIRING

Oof uuhhhh, I guess besides the obvious no no’s, maybe Gibova? For no big reason other than that I think it’s dull and has no basis.

FAVORITE MOMENT

OOF there are a TON of good moments in this show hahaaaaaa. I’ve only watched most episodes once (I only got into the series a few months ago), but I would say a few of my favorites are; the scene in the convenience store, Antauri’s moments in “A Ghost in the Machinder,” baby monkeys, and Mandarin’s introduction scene. The I, Chiro saga as a whole is wonderful, but I think my favorite of it would be the scene where Antauri comes back to life. Also obligatory mention to Otto and Gibson hugging and holding hands in “Galactic Smash.”

I’m very indecisive.

RATING OUT OF 10

8/10! There’s some questionable writing decisions sprinkled throughout, but it’s an overall amazing series with so much potential to it’s characters and universe. Even the few bad episodes had at least something I found enjoyable about them. I highly recommend this show to anyone looking for something funny and cute and action-y, but also with a surprising amount of depth to it. (Probably could’ve been bumped up to an 8.5 or 9 if it had an ending but… disney hates joy)

GARGOYLES

FAVORITE CHARACTER

Lexington! I found him to be unique for the “tech smart” one of the group. Usually these types of characters are cynical, dry, skeptical, logic-driven, and have a holier-than-thou attitude. And while Lex can be dry and sarcastic sometimes (especially towards Brooklyn or Broadway), he never thinks of himself as more important than anyone else in his clan, and doesn’t bring anyone down (beyond playful ribbing) to feel good about himself. And something I thought was very refreshing about his character is that, despite being the “computer guy,” he’s shown to be angry, vengeful, and irrational at times. His decisions aren’t all dictated by “logic,” (IE never showing emotion ever because “eMoTiOnS aRe IlLoGiCaL”) he’s allowed to make bad choices and feel hurt about things, especially since he’s young (the equivalent of 18). Being smart doesn’t exempt you from making mistakes or feeling real, raw emotions and Lex encapsulates that perfectly.

Also he’s “adorable with a dark side” and that is some fine character trope RIGHT there

SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER

Demona! What a rollercoaster of a character, to this day she’s, not just one of the most compelling female villains, but one of the most compelling villains in general. The writers do well to let you understand and sympathize completely with her motivations, but don’t hold back on how ruthless and despicable she can be. In complete denial mode over the loss of her clan, forced to walk the Earth for over a thousand years as an immortal, all the while being hunted down by the Hunters and Macbeth, it’s easy to understand why she is the way she is now. It’s so nice to have a female villain that has such deep-rooted character flaws and trauma that it’s just embedded in her every word and action.

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER

There are many, many well-written characters in this show that it’s hard to choose. But, I would probably say the Archmage. Really only having prevalence in the first Avalon arc, he has no real motivation beyond “me want ultimate power.” And his only real narrative purpose in the series as a whole was to cause Demona and Macbeth to be cursed.

Also Oberon is just kind of an annoying bitch

THE CHARACTER I'M MOST LIKE

I really do suck at these kinds of questions lmao

Lexington, maybe? I am quick to anger/irritation, and struggle with vengeful feelings sometimes. Also Brooklyn? I don’t really know myself tbh hahaaaaa

FAVORITE PAIRING

I know I draw Lexington and Staghart quite a bit, but the best pairing in the show is undoubtedly Goliath/Elisa. From day one their chemistry was amazing and believable. They are both so, so good for each other in every sense. Their personalities just fit together so perfectly, not in the sense that they 100% always get along all of the time, but in a way where they never stop trying for each other. Trying to better themselves, trying to understand each other’s point of view, trying to better the world around them. There is just so much love put into all of their actions and decisions. (also the woman being the one to shut out conversation and deny her obvious romantic feelings is a nice change of pace)

Also it’s the monster lover in me, I gotta

Additionally, when I first got into the series I was partial to Brooklyn/Lexington, and to be honest I still kind of am, but w/e

LEAST FAVORITE PAIRING

STOP SHIPPING BRONX WITH PEOPLE. Please I BEG of you to stop shipping Bronx with people

Although if we wanna talk about pairings that at least deserve to exist, then I can’t say I’m a fan of Brooklyn/Katana. Not any fault of Katana or her character, I just HATE the Timedancer storyline. HATE it. If there’s any AUs where Brooklyn and Katana meet without all of that bullshit I’d probably like it more (because I do really like their son, Nashville).

FAVORITE MOMENT

“I don’t remember any explosions in Bambi.” Also the Golisa kiss is still A+ romance. The episode with Brooklyn having to take the helm with Goliath gone is a solid episode. I love how, despite being entirely cut out for leadership, it was still a scary and daunting task for Brooklyn, especially since Goliath was gone without a trace and no one had any idea where he went. Brooklyn had no safety net going in and was understandably both distraught and overwhelmed to the point where he snapped at Hudson and gave up for a bit. That is just such a realistic reaction to that kind of situation and I feel like a lot of shows don’t do that kind of thing.

RATING OUT OF 10

9/10! Gargoyles excels at taking somewhat typical plot points and taking them above and beyond, most especially through the spectacularly written characters and phenomenal execution in it’s storytelling. I never watched most of season three (the creator said it wasn’t canon so I didn’t bother), but I still highly, highly recommend watching Gargoyles if you haven’t yet. My only complaints are; the whole Timedancer thing I mentioned (though that was in the comic continuation and not the show itself), and while the Avalon World Tour arc had a lot of interesting moments, by the end of it I thought it kinda dragged (“Future Tense,” woke me right the fuck back up tho, hoo boy)

[butnottome]

thoughts about the new shawn mendes album no one asked for

tldr: someone get this boy some therapy and a better songwriting team. where was teddy ?? 

intro: i like it. sets a nice tone. i don’t understand why this needed four writers, but its a nice opener wonder: i love the chorus, but i feel like it doesn’t really know what it wants to talk about? he’s trying to fit so much into a single song. it feels kind of...juvenile, if that makes sense. similarly to how i felt when he premiered Youth. i initially thought the chorus “i wonder what it’s like to be loved by you” was like him at himself, so the revelation that it was not was a bit disappointing? but the BRIDGE i love the bridge, it feels like a coming of age movie.  higher: its a BOP. this one is gonna be the next single, i’m calling it right now.  it’s not a lot like Lyrically, but it really doesn’t have to be.  24 hours: THE OPENING VERSE IS SO SWEET. This one is encapsulating like the hesitance and vulnerability of first love so well. I love the chorus too omg. “I’m not the type to over think.” SIR?? DON’T YOU HAVE ANXIETY?? I don’t really understand “I'll bet it all, you're bulletproof” and is“We could dance, you could throw the flowers” about like weddings ?? Anyway, it’s sweet, and I like the ending.  teach me how to love: are we gonna get like one pg-13 sex song per album? like is this just how it’s gonna be forever? i’m a sucker for a brass section, and the chorus is catchy. i can tell it’s gonna get stuck in my head. it feels very 80′s, which is fun. was that a “don’t stop until you get enough” reference? the rest is like eh. i was just waiting for it to end tbh.  call my friends: i like the sentiment but the instrumentals are giving me a headache. fuck whatever this baseline is. we’re only at the first chorus and i want to skip. also “nobody knows me better than them” YEAH NO SHIT nothing about this is doing it for me.  i made it to 1:58 & i skipped the rest.  dream: i hate this. i’m so sorry. as someone who can relate to how much international long distance sucks, you’d think i would like this one but i just. ugh. “I'm no good at waiting, all the separation. Feeling suffocated, I just need to breathe and I'm starting to hate it, I can't wait to fall asleep.” is Good and relatable content, but everything else is just...no. I skipped after 2min.  song for no one: the intro !! ooooo verse 2 !! i like that. NO NOT FUCKING DRUMS. OH MY GOD. PLEASE. you could literally see the smile fall off my face. never mind.  monster: i like the guitar in the chorus. but...the difference in life experience is just so apparent on the lyrics for this one. like it makes sense considering their ages, but justin went through some shit. you can hear it in the way he sings, and shawn just sounds so...cookie cutter popstar in comparison. justin really shines on this one, sorry man.  305: my initial thoughts were: i love this, it’s relatable content and exactly how i felt in my first relationship. and then i remembered that, at the time, i was avoiding dealing with my abandonment issues, an anxious/preoccupied attachment style, and other fun ~trauma~ things so. not healthy at all buddy, a little concerning, but otherwise a bop. Not a fan of the line “I always think about it at the same time every night” it’s just...not necessary? idk.  always been you: not even a minute in and i want to skip this already. the lyrics are generic and i hate the quiet-blaring-quiet-blaring thing. Might’ve worked in a song about waking up from a dream to reality but that’s  piece of you: the beat is strong emperors new clothes by p!atd lmao. verses 1 and 2 are....super unhealthy LOL but bop. everything else is eh.  look up at the stars: what the fuck.  can’t imagine: ugh. 

[lordeasriel]

just pointing out some of my thoughts, i don’t want to spam too much. like, the trailer was really satisfying, and now that i can think clearly, i thought why not? the only adaptation that ever disappointed me was the radio drama, so i’m not that hard to please lol 

so, here’s some highlights of my own:

we're all astonished with the dæmons CGI, and righteously, but honestly, was there ever any doubt? because as they said themselves, the dæmons are what make the series so great, without them the show (and the books) would be roughly very bland. i'm so glad they could achieve the right settings for the dæmons though, making them lifelike but not overly realistic.

fashion in this world is basically why @parslow and I exist, so we’ve been chatting for a while, especially about marisa, and we realised there’s a lot of thought and meaning behind every single piece of costume in the show. marisa and lyra match a lot, in colours, sometimes they even wear the same outfit with different tweaks in between them. i’ve been praising the costumes since day one, i still am, and even asriel’s lack of variety has a lot of meaning behind it, after all, this is a man who’s rolling in the snow, hence his reason to use the same sweater in all of his scenes.

i love the colours, in general, it reminds me of gotham, contrasted, real, solid, but not as whimsical (when you think that gotham tried to bring the comic style and make it realistic, if that makes any sense to you). it feels like real life, and i like the cloudy mood that lingers in the show. there is no sunlight, except in that zepelin scene, which i’m confident is asriel’s arrival. anything after that is grey and cloudy, including the scene where he is leaving. it probably encapsules the mood of the journey after asriel’s grand plan begins and lyra’s journey as well. i can’t wait to see the episode to see if i’m right about it, probably not lol

the first thing i noticed (also because it was the first scene in the trailer lol) is that asriel is already speaking of war. like, he is already talking about the war, he is already asking for support and for people to pick their sides. that doesn’t bother me, i just think it’s a bit strange in a sense that this is a great way to mischaracterise him, making him too righteous. he does have very good reasons to do what he does, but he also does it because he is a proud man, whose ego has been deeply wounded. hell, if he could have used himself as the energy source, he would have, trust me. so i hope they get him right, it matters to me lmao i’m happy with what i’ve seen so far though, james makes him harsh, yet still human. he’s also a daddy lol

i said it before, i’m saying it again: ruth wilson has the uncanny vibe of a new god and she brings it to marisa shamelessly. she sounds sweet yet still sour, this is an amoral woman, bound by nothing except her own gains and ruth captures every single tone of marisa’s rich personality. listening to her speak is utterly macabre, every time. her daemon only adds to her unsettling behaviour. that eerie smile was horrible, i could barely gif it, i can’t stand it. she is making me fear marisa for the first time, and i love it. (reading the books as an adult, I never feared her, I was just wary of her apathy and amorality, and I found her horribly relatable in many ways, but now there is actual fear in me and I’m living for it)

dafne’s lyra is everything i’ve ever wanted. strong-willed, spiteful, impetuous and fiery, she measures no words, not even to asriel, whom she fears in the books and only barks at him by the end, when she is tired and he is being ungrateful. i love her resemblance to ruth, how she fits nicely in the ambient and how she never stands out, like, “this is a normal brat from oxford. she is anything but special. her whole life is a casuality of bad luck, fate and consequences of other people’s indiscretion. now you love her because she is the best.” yet you still notice her, because dafne makes lyra have a great presence, inherited from her proudful dad uncle. (and her mom, but we don’t talk about that lol)

i’ve seen people talking about lee’s accent, but i don’t know the difference between accents (except for british and american, and i can recognise some scot accent, sometimes irish, but overall i just cant tell), so it doesn’t matter to me all that much. he sounds american, so i can live with it. i like lin in-character though, this is a younger lee scoresby, so it makes more sense to me that he is more proactive when it comes to fighting. (is the duet real? i hope not)

as of iorek’s, i have 3 things in mind: 1) he is not very famous and/or probably scandinavian, so telling us who he is, especially if he didn’t do english voice overs or voice acting at all, wouldn’t make much of a difference (in their mind, i wouldn’t mind getting familiar with a less famous actor) 2) the actor is very known, and/or scandinavian lol, and they want it to be a surprise because his voice is very remarkable and/or he is unrecognisable as iorek, so they want us to be shocked about it. 3) they haven’t finished voicing him yet and/or they just don’t want to tell us whom he is without a final product. i’m not familiar with post-production on this level, so these are wild guesses of mine, my bet is on number 3 tho.

lastly, iorek himself: i like the armor, it’s fitting, rough, simple: it looks like it’s part of him, which is kinda the point. he looks a bit uncanny on the screenshot, not so much while moving. this is good cgi, he looks real, yet this isn’t a polar bear, this is a pansebjorne, they have a civilization, they think, they speak, their soul is their armour. they have a culture of their own, so it makes sense he still resembles a person, because in essence, he is. (if a person is someone with a soul, a culture, and a mind of their own, however different).

stelmaria: “it’s time” asriel: “i know” well, well, my soul was OBLITERATED.

thanks for coming to my TED talk, sorry for the spam