#this did absolute numbers on twitter

[littleminipop5]

Oh my one, this the greatest thing ever

First breakfast home

[ms-demeanor]

I've seen you say a few times that it's a good idea to have a password manager; could you explain why? I always feel like I'm missing something when it's mentioned because it's phrased as if there's an obvious danger that password managers protect you from, but I'm honestly not sure how they help keep passwords secure.

The obvious danger is human nature. Humans are bad at creating passwords; your passwords are almost certainly easy to guess, repeated across different accounts, or both, because that is just how the vast VAST majority of people create passwords, because humans are bad at creating passwords. Everybody knows "the rules" for creating passwords (don't use the same password on multiple websites, don't include personal details in your passwords, don't use very common words or letter or number sequences in your passwords, don't tell other people your password) and people break all of those rules anyway.

A standalone (not in-browser like firefox or chrome password manager, though those are better than nothing) password manager stores your passwords, generates complex passwords for you, and can also be used for things like storing notes on passwords (like "did I put my MFA on my email or my cellphone or an app for this password?" or "here are the made-up answers to the security questions I used for this website because I definitely didn't use real answers or answers I'd used on previous websites" or "these are the bills associated with this credit card").

With the way the current security landscape works, there are two things that are extremely important when you are creating a password:

Uniqueness

Complexity

The overwhelmingly prevalent way that people get "hacked" these days is through credential stuffing.

Let's say that your private data was revealed in the Experian breach a decade ago. It revealed your name, email address, and phone number. Now let's also say that your private data was revealed in one of the many breaches from social media sites; that one revealed your name, email address, phone number, password, and security questions.

If someone wants to try to gain access to one of your accounts - let's say your bank account - if they have your name and phone number (usually extremely easy to find online), they can cross-reference that information with data that has been revealed in previous breaches - now they've got your name and your email address (which you probably used to sign up for your online banking and have ABSOLUTELY used as your login for accounts all over the place) and at least one password that you've used somewhere.

But the thing is, they don't have one password. They have every password associated with that email address that has ever been revealed in a breach. If you go to the site haveibeenpwned.com you can enter your email and see how many times your email address has appeared in a breach. You can compare that with the number of passwords that were revealed in those breaches and you can ask yourself "what did those passwords have in common?"

Because I can tell you, my Tumblr password from 2013, my Kickstarter password from 2014, and my Disqus password from 2017 (all revealed in various breaches) probably had a lot in common.

So, now the hacker has: your name, your email (which is probably your username), and various passwords they can try to use to log in. Did you use the same password for Facebook and Twitter eight years ago? Did you use parts of that password for creating your bank password? If you heard that twitter passwords were exposed in a breach you probably changed that password, but did you change the bank password that you built on the same structure? Probably not.

So what people will do is gather up all of this information and guess. They'll try your 2017 Disqus password to see if it will get access to your bank account. They'll try your 2020 Gravatar password. They'll try your 2024 Internet Archive Password.

And the reason they do this is because it works.

And the reason that it works is because we are all fucking garbage at remembering unique, complex passwords so instead of creating actually unique, complex passwords most people pick one memorable word or phrase, one memorable number, one unusual character, and *MAYBE* one feature of the site they're creating the login for and they use that template forever (1988Tumblrmacabre!, 1988Facebookmacabre!, 1988Ticketmastermacabre!) OR they create one password that they think is complex enough and use it across multiple sites with minor tweaks ($n0h0mi$hRu13z, sn0h0mishRul13z!, $n0h0mi$hWA) as needed for the sites' password requirements.

So most of what password managers do that is a drastic security improvement over people creating and memorizing passwords is that they create passwords that are functionally impossible to guess and functionally impossible to memorize. The problem with memorizing passwords (which is what you're doing if you're creating a bunch of passwords that you type in all the time) is that you can't actually remember all that many passwords so you'll repeat those passwords. The problem with creating passwords on your own is that passwords that humans create are pretty guessable. Even if you're doing a passphrase that's a long string of words you're probably working with common words ("correct horse battery staple" as opposed to "truculent zygote onomatopoeia frangible") and your password is more guessable than you'd really want it to be. Password managers don't do that, they generate gibberish.

Perhaps you are that rare person who gets out a set of dice and a notepad and rolls up every character for your password and memorizes it and never repeats, and if that's you, you could still benefit from a password manager because a password manager makes it easier to change that unique complex password when it is inevitably revealed in a breach.

So, okay, let's check in with where we're at:

Password managers mean that you don't have to memorize your password, which means that you don't need a password that is easy to memorize, which means that they can create passwords that are extremely complex and are therefore very difficult to guess. This protects you from crackers who will try to brute force your password.

Password managers mean that you don't have to remember extremely complex passwords for every account, which means that you are less likely to repeat your password in whole or in part across multiple accounts. This protects you from credential stuffers, who will try to use your password from one account that was revealed in a breach to open other accounts that were not.

Because password managers can generate and store complex passwords essentially instantly, you can replace passwords nearly effortlessly when there is a breach (no need to 'come up with' a new password, no issues with learning or memorizing it).

There are, however, advantages beyond that.

One major, MAJOR advantage of a properly-used standalone password manager is that it makes you safer from various kinds of phishing attempts and link hijacking. When you are setting up a password in your password manager (PWM from here on), you should be on the website that you want to log in to. The PWM will give you the option to save the domain that you're logging in to. That means the PWM will remember the correct URL for your Tumblr login so when you go to the tumblr login screen in the future, it will offer to fill those fields. What it will NOT do is offer to fill those fields if someone sends you an email that spoofs tumblr support and wants you to log in at "tumblr.co" or "tumblr-support.com." Knowing this, and knowing that you should be putting your credentials in through the PWM fill option rather than copy/paste, is a GREAT way to protect against phishing that is often overlooked and definitely under-discussed.

Another advantage is that a standalone PWM will let you store secure notes with your passwords so that you can do things like keep track of recovery codes for the website, or generate gibberish answers to security questions. Security questions and answers are often revealed in breaches, can't be reset by the user as easily as a password, are repeated across websites MUCH more than passwords, and can be used to take over an account and reset the password. You shouldn't be giving real security answers, or even fake-but-repeated security answers; you should treat each of those like a password that needs to be complex and unique, which means that they need to be stored someplace (like a password manager).

I also personally use my password manager to store my car insurance information, my driver's license info, and payment details for easy entry, making it convenient for a lot of thing beyond password storage. (Bitwarden. My password manager is bitwarden. I recommend Bitwarden. go to ms-demeanor.com and search "bitwarden" to learn more.)

As to how they keep your passwords safe, aside from ensuring that you don't enter your credentials into a skimming site, a good password manager is well encrypted. Your password safe should be functionally impossible to crack and what people tend to not realize is that a proper password manager (like bitwarden) doesn't keep all your passwords in one encrypted safe, each one of your passwords is in its own encrypted safe. If someone hacks Bitwarden it's not like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of money, it's like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of bank vaults. Each password within your vault requires decryption that is functionally impossible to crack (at least with a good password manager, like bitwarden, the password manager I recommend and think that people should use).

Additionally, just as, like, a side note: password managers never accidentally leave caps lock on or forget which characters are capital or lower case and don't require the use of two hands and focused attention on the keyboard. You're never going to mistype your password if the password manager is filling it, and you would not believe the number of people we support at work who require password resets because they are typing their password wrong and don't realize it.

TL;DR:

Password managers make better passwords than you can and they make it possible to instantly create, store, and enter complex passwords, which prevents password cracking and makes people less likely to reuse passwords. They are heavily encrypted and should be functionally impossible to access, and each individual password within the manager should also be encrypted if you use a good password manager. Password managers also prevent people from entering their credentials on scam sites by only filling on matched domains. Standalone password managers (not browser password managers) also allow users to create and store unique security questions and account details to prevent bad actors from gaining access with stolen security answers. The password manager I recommend is Bitwarden.

If people used password managers to create, store, and use unique and complex passwords, and if they did regular backups of their system I think that probably about half of the InfoSec field would be out of a job.

Please use a password manager!

[scented-morker]

Lovesick fools

Alternatively… enha’s reaction to being on a variety show with their idol!crush

No warnings, 2k words, implied fem!reader.. these took me forever </3

Heeseung

Fourth gen vocalists on the show ‼️

He was so excited to be there that he totally forgot you would def be there too

Until he was getting his makeup done and you walked in with curlers in your hair and coffees in your hand

He immediately found himself smiling at how cute you looked, and it only got worse when you handed him a cup

"Twitter said this was your order, I hope it's right."

The makeup artist starts laughing and opts out of putting blush on him bc he's all red from you

Once filming starts you all sing a prepared cover, and he's so focused on his own that he stays calm for most of it

Except yours is last, which means his mind is fully empty since he’s done and now all he’s able to focus on is how pretty you sound and the way you smile through the words

You sing 'drinks or coffee' from rose's new album and he swears you wink at him

"We don't have to talk, I know that you want me."

Twitter goes crazy bc you absolutely did wink at him, and they have the slow mo replay to prove it

Him blushing like mad also goes viral

He walks up to you backstage

"So... do you want to get drinks or coffee?" 🤭

Jay

It's shuhua's show again, but instead of sunghoon he's paired up with you

Bro gives himself a pep talk in the mirror before filming starts

"You are cool and calm and will not giggle like a school girl at her. Shes going to look pretty and you're just gonna have to deal with it."

Thinks it should be illegal to look good in a work uniform, but there you are

You guys are cooking and you're so impressed by how well he does at separating the fat from the meat

You are so horribly bad at it that Shuhua looks like an expert 💔💔

"Jay I think you need to help her, she's massacring the product."

Ok girl are you a host or a wingman

But he does, telling you to adjust your grip on the knife, reaching over to show you how to do it better which has you blushing like crazy

You guys are partnered up trying to give away samples against shuhua which is where you shine bc people just can't stay away from you especially when you pout and ask 'pretty please?'

Jay doesn't blame them, he's ready to buy everything in the store from you

One of the girls doesn't bat an eye at you when you beg but you're desperate so you yell after her

"Look how handsome my partner is, don't you want to come buy something from us?"

The girl comes back but Jay can't even be flattered bc he's too busy freaking out that you think he's cute

"Did you really mean that?" He asks you after filming

"Of course I did, I'm not blind."

So he asks for your number and ofc you give it to him

Jake

It’s some sort of school setting show

You guys are paired up against Jay and another member of your group as the four of you compete with trivia questions

You’re all English speakers, so they make you answer everything in English and since we’re already being delulu let’s say you have an English accent bc we know Jake loves that

You have to yell at him to lock in because when you start trying to reason out the question he’s so focused on your voice that he isn’t listening to a word you say

You guys are getting whooped by the other team

That is until your member makes a joke about you saying how your ideal type is a smart guy

Bro instantly locks tf in

“October 23rd, 2016”

“That is correct! Team Hot Accents gets another point as they make an impressive comeback!”

Yes that’s your team name, you both have hot accents and you know it 🤷‍♀️

You get so excited every time you guys score a point that you’re practically bouncing in your seat cheering and giving him high fives

You answer a few questions after that but he’s definitely carrying you guys and he could not be happier about it

“Don’t worry y/n, I got you. Just sit there and look pretty.” 😍

By the end you guys are tied and the hosts ask you to give your partner a good luck charm as he and Jay face off for the last question

You contemplate kissing his cheek before realizing that would probably get you murdered on twitter so you settle for giving his hand a squeeze after interlocking your fingers post high five

When he gets the question right he runs over and picks you up to spin you around in celebration

The editors definitely put some incriminating caption like [a very overexcited reaction from the golden retriever] that fans laugh at him for afterwards

But he doesn’t care bc you were in his arms and that’s all that matters ‼️

After filming you’re like “wow Jake you’re so smart do you want to hang out sometime?”

YEP YEP YEP YES HE DOES

Sunghoon

You guys were both ex figure skaters, so they had you guys film an episode at a rink

They got both of you a new version of one of your old costumes, and sunghoon was immediately red at the sight of you in the sparkling dress with a little cut out on the side

You both spent the first few minutes just running around on the ice, enjoying being back

The hosts had a list of skills they read out and then made each of you try

It only made sunghoon's crush bigger watching you move so gracefully, and he grinned so big whenever you'd compliment him

"Woah, he's still really good!"

Towards the end they had you try partner moves, everyone cheering when you guys synced up so well in the turns and twists

“Woah they look really good together! It’s like fate they move at the exact same time!”

They even let you try a stunt, and sunghoon became a stuttering mess when he put his hand on your waist where the cut out in your costume was

"Is- is this ok? I don't want to drop you, but we could skip it if you want."

"Of course it's ok!"

He's so touched at the amount of trust you put in him while trying out partner tricks

And it's rightfully placed considering the time you guys mess up he makes sure to change the angle of your fall so that he takes the brunt of the impact instead of of you

You apologize so many times, including going up to him after filming to thank him again

"Is there anything I can do to thank you?"

"How about a date?"

Sunoo

Who knows why the show paired you guys up

Maybe they saw the media attention from your brief waves to each other at an award show and the viral ‘bite me’ challenge you did together

But they bring both of you to a cafe set and you have to make coffees and such before being interviewed

You’d worked at a coffee shop predebut so at one point you reach over and grab his hand to adjust the way he holds the cup under the milk steamer

The editors zoom in on his red face while you turn around and practically sprint away

Your last task before the interview is to make a drink for the other person while they film a confessional about you

You’re sitting there stuttering over your words as an explanation as to why you ran after helping him earlier and how kind he was when you filmed your tiktok together last time

Meanwhile, sunoo is asking the staff for help to make your super specific and stupidly difficult drink order that he knows from watching your interviews

He pretends it was casual and easy once he joins you at the table, setting the cup down in front of you like he didn’t restart it 3 times

“This is my favorite coffee!! I didn’t even remember them teaching us this!”

“Wow that’s so weird, lucky me I guess”

He tried to be nonchalant but it was NOT working

He literally lets out a giggle as soon as you drink it and do a little happy dance when it’s exactly how you like

When the interviewer asks about your relationship (bringing up the award show wave) Sunoo says that you guys are casual friends but he hopes you can become closer after filming together

To which you respond ABSOLUTELY and promise to wave at him at every schedule you see him

That’s enough for his weak heart for one day so he doesn’t end up following up after the cameras stopped

but you kept your promise and after a few months of excited waves and animated conversations at award shows he secures your number and a date

Jungwon

He’s too responsible to risk anything by talking about his crush on you but once in a live you said you really admired him because you couldn’t imagine having to lead your group while being one of the youngest members

(He saved the video and probably replayed it about fifty times afterwards)

But that was enough to make one of the shows want you guys together !!

Which is how you end up trailing behind him through a creepy dark building while scare actors try to freak you guys out

Bro was not excited for this but he is doing his best bc YOU NEED HIM ‼️

You are so close to his back that he can feel your body heat and when someone jumps out you practically climb on his back

You apologize profusely afterwards, but he waves it off, offering you his arm to grasp onto for the rest of the time

You say in a confessional part that you were scared out of your mind but it was bearable bc Jungwon was there

“He was so brave and cool, it made me feel so much better!”

He isn’t even scared anymore, he’s just mad bc they’re intentionally making you upset so his cute angry face pops out and the two of you make it through the whole haunted house in record time

Afterwards he tells you that he hopes he wasn’t mean or anything, he was just upset they were scaring you

He was mad at them for doing their jobs 💔 rip

But that just made you appreciate him more

“Can I treat you to lunch one day? To thank you for taking such good care of me?”

He MELTS, of course you can

Riki

You and him were both on a variety show to show the difference between maknaes

He was the image of a cool and mature maknae, while you were the giggly pink maknae of your group

He thought it was gonna be awkward bc the whole point of the show was how different you guys were, but you got along so easily

As soon as you started talking he was a GONER

He'd watch you answer a question and get so distracted looking at your face that the hosts would have to repeat the question for him to respond to after 😭

So much for being cool

They ask him how he feels about aegyo to which he describes how passionately he hates it

So they make you do aegyo for him to see if he reacts

HE DOES

Homeboy starts blushing without even realizing it

It puts the biggest smile on his face that they tease him about for the rest of the show

You tell him you'll give him lessons in it if he wants while live and that's how he approaches you after

"You probably need my number to set up those lessons right?"

[sunrizef1]

big reputation pt 3

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x fem!reader

Warnings: Kelly piquet? Slight violence, canon divergent (Logan has a seat lmfao)

Authors Note: from now on every fic I post will be considered a period piece because I am NOT taking Logan out of that seat.

Pt1 Pt2

yourusername

📍Cardiff, Wales

liked by lewishamilton formulaone and 25,888,007 others

yourusername Cardiff, you were wonderful!!!!! We had never played a show in Wales before but we will definitely be back again! We all had a great time ✨ Thank you so much for coming out and having the night of your lives with me, I'm so grateful for every single one of you! 🖤 I’ll see you soon, Edinburgh…📸

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user1 I love you queen

user2 guys… I miss the drivers

user3 they miss one show like every two weeks and y'all say this every time 😭😭😭

user3 and they'll probably be back next week in Hungary anyway! 😭

user2 but that's like only one or two drivers or just their girlfriends or just f1-related people, its not the same 😭 I need them all together again 😭🙏

user4 my show 🥰

user5 we need more shows in wales…

yourusername ...✌️

user5 TWO??? AS IN LEG 2??? MORE CARDIFF SHOWS NEXT YEAR???

user6 RATATATATATATATATATATATA

user7 the camera emoji after Edinburgh??? And the dots?? …Ready for it? Music video announcement in Edinburgh???

charles_leclerc ✨🖤

liked by yourusername

user8 Logan going out of his way to make it to Cardiff... Not beating the boyfriend allegations

user9 THIS WAS MY SHOWWWWW

fernandoaloofficial Very good!!! 👍 🖤

yourusername thank you, Nando 🫶🏻

user10 🐍🐍🐍

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yourusername added to their story

oscarpiastri

damn he really is down bad

I'm assuming you mentioned the flowers once and he immediately bought them for you?

yourusername

That would be correct, yes

oscarpiastri

thought so 🙂‍↕️

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TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Antwerp, Belgium

liked by landonorris killatrav and 15,888,777 others

yourusername Antwerp!!! This was one of the greatest shows of my life, the crowd was absolutely electric!!! We also got a rain show, which are always my favorites ☔ We also introduced my new favourite idea, mashing-up surprise songs, which is something I am so excited to continue and you all seemed very excited so I am thrilled!! 🫶

Next up, Amsterdam ☝️ 🇳🇱🇳🇱

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user11 WOOOOOOO

user12 I was there 🙂‍↕️🙏

landonorris ✨

liked by yourusername

user13 guyssss I got mine x stay stay stay!!!! We won! 🥰

user14 I 🫶 rain shows

user15 guys notice how there's three exclamation marks… twice… 3… 3… 33… max’s old number… and then the ☝️ emoji… its a 1… max’s current number… Netherlands is next… she uses two exclamation marks at the end… two Dutch flags… Logans number is two…

user16 are you mentally okay

user15 no

user17 no drivers… what if I kms

user18 but we got the wags!!! 🥰

user17 and if I said y/n was the one true wag

user17 what then

user18 you would be correct 🙂‍↕️ 2️⃣🇺🇸

user19 wait the surprise song thing is so cute!!!!

user20 she's so prettyyyyy

lilymhe 💋💋💋

liked by yourusername

user21 I was here!!! When I tell you everyone gasped so hard when she started singing stay stay stay in the middle of mine, we were all screaming!!!

user22 LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

alexandrasaintmleux ❤️

yourusername ❤️

user23 girl I did not know mash-ups were an option 😭

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alexandrasaintmleux

The best trio 🥰

yourusername

Correct 🤭🙂‍↕️

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lilymhe

I'm so glad you're here 😭😭😭

yourusername

Me too 😭😭😭

lilymhe

I need you back in Williams ☹️

yourusername

Soon…🤭

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INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

Repping Ferrari today….

Betrayal doesnt look cute on you

yourusername

you'll be okay darling 💋

logansargeant

No ☹️

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yourusername added to their story

fernandoalo_official

Stay safe mija

you're going behind enemy lines

yourusername

Lol, thanks Nando

I'll be safe

fernandoalo_official

Just look out for anyone in orange….

They're a suspicious bunch

yourusername

I will 🫡

fernandoalo_official

Good 👍

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MESSAGES

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Amsterdam, Netherlands

liked by alex_albon alexandrasaintmleux and 21,008,008 others

yourusername Amsterdam, you were so lovely!!! I'll admit I was a little nervous for these two shows but you all showed me so much kindness and these crowds will definitely go down as two of my favourites of all time 🫶 I had a really great time and I really felt so connected to every person in that stadium, I can't thank you enough for everything 🤍

But these shows made me realize how much we've grown this past year. Reputation was such a scary project for me and the reception from you all was so much better than I expected. Its been a year of love and I'm so thankful that you've stuck by me, you don't know how much it means 🤍🫶

So thank you to the drivers, to my friends and family, to the crew, to Jack, to Lewis, Charles and Logan and, most of all, to you, the fans. I love you 🤍

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user24 wait night one was wild

user25 as someone who was night one, the atmosphere when people found max was crazy 😭😭😭 so much yelling 😭

user26 RIGHT like I was upper bowl and had no idea what everyone was yelling about 😭

user27 IS THAT LAST PICTURE HER BF

user27 FOLLOW UP QUESTION: IS THAT LOGAN

user28 LMAO the middle finger in the last picture, she really hates max 😭

user29 why did she talk about love so much during the show and then in the caption…

user30 conspiracy theory: its their anniversary

lilymhe 💋💋💋

liked by yourusername

user31 that second pic is so cute 🥹

lewishamilton thanks for the shoutout 😎

yourusername thank YOU for everything lew 🤍

user32 out of all the drivers she chose to name three specifically: Lewis (who featured on the album and also has producer credits), Charles (who featured and has all the piano credits), and Logan, (who…. Was the muse for the album???)🫣

user33 wait why is no one talking about how crazy the max thing is

user34 yeah every ones talking about Logan but the m*x appearance is actually insane behaviour

user35 girl I read jack and fully thought she meant doohan 😭

user36 WAIT who did she mean??? I also thought she meant doohan 😭😭😭

user35 jack antonoff girl 😭

fernandoalo_official proud of you mija ❤️

yourusername thank you Nando 🤍

user36 I adore them 😭

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yourusername

📍Las Vegas, Nevadaa

liked by logansargeant charles_leclerc and 32,008,998 others

yourusername about a year and a half ago, I thought my life was over. I was betrayed by the very same people I thought were my forever.

But, after months of hiding, I ran into you at a dive bar deep in the city of Miami and suddenly my forever was you. You were in your buzzcut phase and I had just bleached my hair. You recognized me, of course. We'd met a couple of times and I'd always thought kindly of you. We started to talk and hours passed without us even noticing. I'm not sure where your friends had gone but looking back at it now, I'm glad they left because I can't imagine the conversation we had being joined by other people. It was already vaguely awkward enough.

I wasn't exactly lighting up the room that night. It had been a rough couple of months and I'd only gone out in hopes of finding a sliver of happiness. Thank god I did because it brought me to now, where I'm the happiest I've ever been. It brought me to you.

You, my love, are so wonderful and beautiful and talented and I honestly can't believe you're mine. Thank you so much for sticking beside me and becoming my forever muse. I could go on and on about the lyrics I've written about you but I think I'll just keep that for the next album 🫣

We went from hiding out in hotel rooms, curtains drawn tightly so paparazzi couldn't see and taking back roads to the studio to avoid anyone who might recognize us to you coming to every single show and me getting to sing to you and every single night.

From the new years parties in New York to the bouquets in Dublin and to the rings in Las Vegas 💍, I love you forever, Lo 🤍

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user37 AWWWWWWWWWW

user38 THIS IS INSANEEEEE

user39 the hardest of hard launches!!! 🥰

user40 WAIT WHAT

lilymhe congratulations love! No one deserves this happiness more than you 🤍🥰

yourusername lilyyyy 🥹🫶

user41 IM SOBBING MY PARENTSSSSSS

user42 THE CLIP OF CHARLES CRYING AFTER SHE SHOWS THE RING?????? MEEEEE

charles_leclerc congrats ange, so happy for you ❤️

yourusername forever grateful for your super secret spy work last year, none of this could’ve happened without you 🤍

charles_leclerc 🫡

user42 OHHHHH Charles was digging for info on max that’s why he was friends with him last year 😭

lancestroll 🥳🥳🥳

liked by yourusername

user43 this is adorable 🥹

alexandrasaintmleux me and Lily are planning the bachelorette party as we speak 🥳🎉

yourusername as long as you guys are there it will be perfect 🥹🤍

user44 AWWWWWWW OMG

carlossainz congrats!! 😎💍

liked by yourusername

landonorris LETS GOOOOO

liked by yourusername

oscarpiastri now that you're engaged I can finally yell you that he's legit had a crush on you for years. I couldnt get away from the sound of him playing Fearless over and over and over again

yourusername he's adorable. And it sounds like you're… complaining????

oscarpiastri nope ofc not, fearless is great, aoty for a reason, best country album of all time, I'd never complain 🙂‍↔️🫡

yourusername thanks osc 🤍

alex_albon did u like ur proposal…? 😽

yourusername I've been informed of your involvement and am pleased to tell you that the proposal was wonderful. Thank you Alex 🫶

alex_albon well flowers can't arrange themselves 🫡 congrats y/n

alex_albon we’re grateful to have you in the Williams family 🤍

user45 my forever muse 😭

user46 the parallels between this caption and the five year one for m*x 😭

logansargeant you’re the love of my life and I’m so grateful for the time we’ve had together 🤍 I love you so much darling and I’m so proud to get the honor of calling you my wife 🤍🤍🤍 😊

yourusername love you lo 🤍🥹

user47 oh my god they’re so in love, I’m so happy that y/n got to have this relationship after everything with max 🥹🤍

——

logansargeant added to their story

yourusername

My forever boy 💍

logansargeant

I love you baby 🤍😊

yourusername

I love you too 🤍🥹

——

[teamatsumu]

compression. (sakusa kiyoomi x reader)

summary: atsumu is the perfect person to feed your obsession with kiyoomi’s arms.

word count: 1172

warnings: swearing, very mildly suggestive (if you squint), detailed descriptions of kiyoomi’s arms in compression sleeves so it’s not for the faint hearted

tags: @keiva1000 @kindnessspreads @msbyomimi

When you studied Marketing and Communications in university, you didn’t exactly anticipate that your future would include you managing a V League Division 1 sports team. But every day when you went into work, you thanked the gods above that this is where your career path had led you, because that meant you could ogle Sakusa Kiyoomi and his infamous compression sleeves all day.

Oftentimes you were certain Kiyoomi didn’t mean anything by them. For him, they were practical. They kept his arms taut and ready for the ball. They made his movements sharper. He received the ball better. He didn’t have to feel his bare skin on the dirty court. These were all reasons you had heard straight out of his mouth. When you heard him mention them so nonchalantly, it almost made you feel bad for the absolutely sinful- borderline deranged- thoughts you had in your head about the way those sleeves made his arms look.

You were well aware of the kind of thoughts Kiyoomi’s choice of athletic wear caused among his fans. To put it simply and bluntly, they went feral over it. There were whole Twitter accounts dedicated to just his arms, or his chest. And as someone who often managed social media profiles for some of the members, you got to see the most unhinged of these comments with your own two eyes. And you would be the first to (secretly) admit that you agreed with 90% of what was being said, because holy shit did those sleeves do something to you.

Most of the time during practice, you could feel your eyes drift back over to the man in question, wearing a black sports tee and those godforsaken sleeves, working up quite the set as they played set after set to prepare for their next game. As the hours passed, Kiyoomi would get more and more disheveled, curls becoming unruly enough that he would grab a towel, biceps flexing as he ran it over the nape of his neck and dipped into the collar of his shirt. Christ almighty.

You should’ve known that you would eventually get caught. But if it was anyone who would notice, you had expected it to be Meian or maybe Coach Foster. But the person who did bring it up to you happened to be the biggest nightmare in this scenario; Miya Atsumu.

“Ya should be a little less obvious ‘bout it.” He commented when he trudged over to the bench where you sat, grabbing a water bottle and beginning to chug. You tore your eyes from Kiyoomi who now had his back to you, the muscles under his shirt flexing with every movement. You raised an eyebrow at the blond, not yet correlating his words with your hidden obsession. He placed the bottle down and placed a hand on his hip, giving you a knowing smirk.

“A blind grandma could notice the way yer lookin’ at him.”

Your eyes widened and cheeks flamed when he nudged his head in Kiyoomi’s direction, and you knew you had been caught. You clenched your jaw hard.

“You say a single word-”

He threw his hands up as if in surrender, effectively silencing your threat in its tracks.

“I won’t, promise! But there is one thing…..”

You groaned loudly, throwing your head back. Of course, of fucking course he would blackmail you with this.

“What do you want?” You deadpanned, glaring at him and preparing for the worst.

Atsumu looked a bit affronted, as if the mere insinuation that he might want something was preposterous to him. You gave him another tired look, until he sighed and gave up, plopping down heavily on the bench next to you.

“A phone number. Ya know that cute girl who comes by once a month? From the Volleyball Association?”

“No.”

Atsumu’s mouth dropped like a child who just got slapped. “Hey c’mon! Ya didn’t even hear me out!”

You groaned and pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling a characteristic frontal headache begin to build, courtesy of Miya Atsumu. “I’m tired of setting you up with people, Tsumu! It won’t end well, as always-”

“I’ll get you a picture of Omi with his compression sleeves.”

You give him an unimpressed look. “I can get hundreds of those off the internet.”

“I’ll get you a picture of Omi with just his compression sleeves.”

That made you halt in your tracks. You searched Atsumu’s face for any form of mockery or lie, and you found none. Your eyebrows shot up when you realized he was being serious.

“In the locker room. I can get it for ya today.”

Oh my god. Instinctively, your eyes darted over to the man in question, who was talking to Hinata about something. It looked like volleyball tips since he had his arms before him in a receiving position, and Hinata was rapidly nodding to what he was saying.

“No.” You shook your head. “No, that’s wrong.”

“I’ll take a selfie with him, yeah? He will know there’s a photo. And I can send it in the groupchat.”

You look back at Atsumu, seriously contemplating his offer. He kept yapping, as per usual, thinking that the more he talked, the likelier it would be to convince you. And the bastard was right, it was working.

“No one else will bat an eye. We see each other in the lockers all the time. No big deal.”

You bit your lip in thought. The possibility of seeing Kiyoomi shirtless and only in compression sleeves had your pulse rising.

“And you just want her number in return?”

Atsumu nodded eagerly. You gave him a narrow-eyed glare.

“Send the picture. Then I will give you the number.”

His triumphant grin made it feel like he had already won. “Deal.”

That evening, when your phone pinged with a text notification, you nearly flew across the bed to grab it, opening the picture Atsumu sent in the groupchat with eager fingers and freezing as soon as you laid eyes on it.

Atsumu had held up his end of the bargain spectacularly.

He had taken the picture with Kiyoomi a little further in the background, so he could get the man’s full torso in it. He was facing slightly away from the camera, but his face was turned towards it, capturing the scowl between his eyebrows and the little pout of his mouth. He was gloriously shirtless, still a bit sweaty from practice, and he held his shirt in his hand, one arm flexed as he held it while the other was held carelessly by his side, compression sleeves hugging the cords of toned muscles just right.

There was another ping, pulling you out of your trance and making you realize just how dry your mouth had gotten. Atsumu had messaged you privately.

“My payment? ;)”

You rolled your eyes and sent him the number, immediately going back to the picture and starring it for future reference, a tiny smile quirking up the corner of your lip as you did so.

[the-flaneur]

the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt2

pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]

summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment

warnings: none (i think)

[prev] [masterlist] [requests]

-> messages

-> twitter

-> messages

-> instagram

f1gossipofficial

liked by user1, user2, user3 and others

f1gossipofficial well apparently three of our drivers have been spotted in monaco alongside a broken down car and a number of balloons. they were also spotted quickly getting into a tinted window car. we wonder who the driver of the second car is?

view all comments

user1 damnnn they're looking fine today 🤤🤤🤤

user2 finally someone feeding us gossip worthy content, istg this year has been sooooo boring, like where's the spice (but this barely counts btw, someone do something more entertaining lol) user3 but like who were the balloons for??? cause there was A LOTTTTTT and none of their birthdays are soon? user4 nah watch it be like an ex-girlfriend of all of them, the f1 dating pool is a puddle 💀💀💀

user5 lol the amount of people who immediately flocked to the car after seeing them get out of it, like if it was anyone else, those rich people would be honking the hell out of them lol

user6 nah fr fr, like a supercar just stopped bang smack in the middle of a busy monaco street, but everyone cares more about taking pics of the drivers and themselves with the car 🤣🤣

user7 i wonder why they're all together, usually post-padel we never get any interactions of them together, only max and lando

user8 lol stalker level insight right here

user9 that other car is smexy as hell 😻😻😻

user10 ikrrrrr like someone hook me up with a sugar daddy so i can get a nice car collection user11 nah that driver is probs just another wannabe businessman or entrepreneur 😖 user12 lol just watch it be some random ass youtuber pandering for views

user13 OK SOMEONE PLEASE BE AS DELUSIONAL AS ME AND TELL ME THAT'S NICO ROSBERG'S CAR

user14 girlie pop wtf user15 nah she might actually be onto something, istg nico mentioned on insta that he got a new car that looks superrr similar to the one in the pic 🤔

liked by user16, user17, user18 and others

f1gossipofficial well apparently someone was able to get a view inside the car as the drivers opened the door to get in, and apparently nico rosberg was the one driving the car 😱😱😱 stay tuned for more updates

view all comments

user16 OH MY OH MY GODDDDD GUYS IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE PINCH ME RN OMG

user17 ya'll he's BACKKKKKKKK WITH THE F1 GRID user18 GUYS WE'VE BEEN ROBBED FOR YEARS OF A POST NICO ROSBERG CASUAL HANGOUT WITH THE REST OF THE GRID 😭😭😭😭😭

user19 damnnnn this man has aged like fine wine

user20 even with the brocedes trauma, both men are looking great in their late 30s 😙

user21 since when did charles and lando be so like...friendly with rosberg? he's never been on the grid with them... 🤨🤨

user22 i mean he does do the post race interviews, but even that's a bit too professional to have any like "friendship" user23 yeah...interesting.... 🤔 user24 idk maybe recently they've just been able to have more conversations? i mean they all live in monaco, and ig theres not that many places where you wont bump into an f1 driver 🤷🤷

user25 guys does this mean we're getting a y/n nico reunion??? cause the three of them said they were going to visit y/n

user26 nah that was probably as a joke ngl, like they probably saw her earlier today or something 👁️👄👁️ user27 yeah im sure it means absolutely nothing user28 lol famous last words amirite 🙏🙏🙏

-> messages

-> instagram

y/n.hamilton

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and others

y/n.hamilton guess which rats im babysitting tonight in monacoooooo 🐀🐀🐀

view all comments

user29 Y/N MOTHER WITH HER GRID CHILDRENNNNNN, I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOUR ❤️❤️❤️

user30 i love her so muchhhh, she just brings the energy all the time user31 i need her in the paddock next year, cause we've been robbed this year of content 😿 user32 fr fr like i need to see my women decked out in her multi team fits complete with a hamilton jersey 💋💋💋

user33 AHHHH THE BOYS LOOKING REALLY GOOD WITH THEIR GIRL TONIGHT

user34 she literally has the cutest friendship with them <3

user35 wait ya'll....is anyone connecting the dots like i am 🕵️🕵️🕵️

user36 ❓❓❓ user37 guys wasn't nico just with them...🧐

user38 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GUYS I THINK MY HEART JUST MIGHT EXPLODE?!?!?!?!?

user39 GUYS IS IT TRUE??? NICO AND Y/N REUNION IN 2023 🤭🤭

user40 YA'LL WE'RE FINALLY GETTING THE BRIT AND BRAT DUO BACK??? GUYS THIS IS TRULY A CULTURAL PHENOMENON FOR THE ELITE 🔥😍🔥😍🔥😍🔥

user41 GUYS 2016 Y/N-NICO TRUTHERS ARISE ONCE AGAIN, WE'VE BEEN DEAD FOR TOO LONG 🙏🙏🙏 user42 guys...i don't think i can be normal after this 🥴🥴🥴

user43 DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY PICTURES OR VIDEOS OF THEM TOGETHER, YOUR HONOUR PLEASE 😭 THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL APPROVE OF PAPARAZZI CAUSE I NEED TO SEE WITH MY PHYSICAL EYEBALLS THAT Y/N AND NICO HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER

user44 😳😳😳 i hate to say it....BUT LOWKEY SAME PLS SOMEONE DO UR THING

-> messages

-> twitter

[next]

permanent f1 taglist (comment or msg me to join)

@charlesgirl16 @tallrock35 @sweate-r-weathe-r @unlikelystay @alex-wotton

@daisyfreecs @euphorihan @louloucs @oikarma

enemy or friend (this) series taglist (comment or msg me to join)

@menagerofmischief @mxdi0 @mixedstyles @tinystudentblaze-stuff

@a-beaverhausen

© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.

[undercvrfan444]

Summary - Roomie Satoru walks in on you during some uh, intimate time!

WC - 2.5k

AN- Okay wait because if this post gets flagged like my other one i’m going to be so mad. Hopefully yall like roomie Satoru because I love him.

Two weeks have passed since your little episode with Satoru. Naoya was now a thing of the past after reading his rather uh…colorful texts he had left for you! And you were kind of thriving truthfully. 

Everyday life had seemingly gone back to the way it had been before you were sprawled out on your roommates bed, his tongue plunged deeper inside you than anyone else had ever been. So aside from his teasing growing dirtier with each passing day and his occasional “accidental” walk in on you changing or getting in the shower, he was still your same old roommate. 

Earlier this morning Satoru was called into work which left you with much valued and needed alone time thankfully. Now listen, you absolutely loved the silver haired man, but being sexually on edge each time he came around was antagonizing. You were constantly on your toes whenever he was close. A part of you was still embarrassed with the drunken activities you had partaken in, especially knowing there was a video of the whole ordeal. 

With your roommate leaving for a few hours you decided to take this time to just relax. Take a nice shower without worrying about him walking in, make a warm cup of tea to relax the tense muscles, and delve into whatever show you wanted knowing Satoru wouldn’t be in your ear making sly remarks. However, as time passed you grew somewhat bored of the silence. 

One thing led to another and you were scrolling on twitter, a hand lazily between your legs. Clicking on a video that seemed to pique you interest, the girl on screen screeched dramatically and honestly it turned you off more than anything. Swiping out of the video and scrolling a little more you finally get sick of the cheap rehearsed porn on your phone. 

Then, as if a little devil appeared on your shoulder, a thought drifted into place.  

You still had the video Satoru recorded for Naoya. Slowly you opened your photos app, scrolling up a little while your eyes scanned for the little white number indicating where the video was. 

Found it. 

Was it weird that you were watching a video of your own pussy being eaten alive? No. Because you weren't necessarily watching the video to see yourself, but rather to see that messy mop of white hair. To see how his jaw flexed with each passing line of his pretty pink tongue. It was hard not to be pulled in by Satoru, anyone that knew him couldn’t argue with how sex seemed to be emanating from him in everything he did. 

Clicking on the video you were immediately flooded with red hot embarrassment. Your own moans matched the girl who previously annoyed you. Satoru’s chest came into frame for a second before he laid the phone flat on the bed, giving a perfect angle of your weeping pussy and the even wetter man behind you. 

“So pretty baby, can’t believe how good this cunt tastes.” Velvety rich words flow out of the speakers making your core ache. You could feel heat rising to your fingertips and down to your toes, arousal blooming. As time went on, slick seemed to pour out of you as if your pussy remembered the way Satoru took care of her. Moans fell from your lips in breathy huffs followed by the broken syllables of Satoru staining the air. Caught in your own world, you fail to hear the jingle of keys unlocking the front door you roommate insists on being locked. Something about “pretty girls like you are taken advantage of all the time.”

His soothing voice calling out to you informing of his arrival home falling on deaf ears. Heavy footsteps make their way to the start of the hallway before he freezes, ears perking up. 

“Fu~ck! ‘Toru..” Muffled high pitched whimpers bounce off the walls from your room. A tent growing impossibly fast from Satoru cultivating a mental image of what’s going on behind your door. How lucky was he to come home in time to get a glimpse of the perverted things you do behind doors, there was no way he’d pass this up. 

There were many ways for Satoru to go about this. He could either 

A. Interrupt your little party and embarrass you 

or 

B. Let you embarrass yourself. 

He decided to go with B. 

Of course. Who would he be if he didn’t indulge himself in a harmless tease?

So despite his cock aching underneath his uniform, he knew the look on your face would be worth a little discomfort. A small smile plays on Satoru’s lips as he makes his way into the bathroom, turning the shower on and stripping down. If he was going to embarrass you then he’d pull out every weakness he had against you. 

Back in your room, you’d finally reached an orgasm. Legs shaking while your eyes drew back towards your skull with how hard sparks tingled against your bones. Ragged breaths heated the cool air of your room while you regained your composure. Slipping off of your bed and reaching for a pair of shorts you had previously discarded, you finally heard the water running in the bathroom. 

Your eyes widened at the thought of Satoru coming home and possibly hearing you. It takes a few seconds before you conjure enough courage to step into the hall and make your way into the kitchen. 

Attempting to push away the horrifying thoughts of being heard, you open the fridge doors and rummage for something to drink. 

Satoru steps into the kitchen with a slightly damp towel hanging loosely on his shoulders and a pair of black shorts on. He smelt strongly of his soap, delicious herbal musk with hints of saccharine notes. Strands of wet hair curled nicely against his head while his undercut peaked through softly. 

“Oh hey!” 

You jump at his sudden chirp of voice, spinning to see a beautiful grin on his features. Swallowing thickly you move to lean against the island separating you two. “Hey. When did you get home?” 

Internally you wanted to cringe at how stupid you sounded, quite the opposite to Satoru who was beaming so bright you swore you could see light seeping through his pores. “A few minutes ago. Yaga let me leave early after dealing with a couple curses and bratty kids.” 

Nodding along, you take a swig of the cold water you fished from the fridge. The conversation dies as Satoru makes his way behind you, mimicking your earlier actions and finding something to drink. Your heart beat lurched against their confines beneath your ribs so hard it felt as though you might burst.

Before you get the opportunity to turn around, Satoru pressed his chest against your back. His legs finding their way between your own while he slots his chin on your shoulder, lips brushing against the sensitive skin below your ear. His hands press against the fatty part of your hips as they slowly squish into the countertop, hinging so that your face is flush with the cool marble below. 

“S-Satoru?” 

The man pecks gentle kisses down the column of your throat, leaning in with his hips to press his erection against your ass. “Is this what you imagined?”

Quiet whines float up into Satoru’s ears. Your elbows bend softly to keep yourself upright against the island. The air is dizzy between you, Satoru’s strong smell offering a familiar comfort you cling to in the tense moment. 

“What?”

Low rumbles of laughter erupt from behind you. “Don’t play dumb with me baby, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” His lips latch on to a few spots on your neck leaving blooming bruises in their wake. 

Humiliation was all you could feel. Unadulterated humiliation and…arousal. Satoru was so warm pressed against you it was impossible for you not to rut back against him. The thin fabric of your shorts did nothing to block his prying hands. All it took was a tug or two and you felt the clothing item slip down your legs. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” two thick fingers slip against your slit, teasing the already puffy hole. “You sounded so beautiful. The way you said my name would make any man go crazy.” 

Filthy squelch’s echo in the kitchen from where Satoru plays with your gooey folds. His abs flex against your clothed back, the older tshirt doing nothing to deter his advances. Any other time than now you would appreciate how strong your roommate was, all rippling muscles completely at your disposal. From your low lying position on the counter you can’t see any of Satoru’s actions, only feel them. 

Squeezing a clammy hand against your mouth, whatever schoolgirlish whine or moan that threatens to come out is muffled quickly. Sinking a long digit past the swabs of slick dripping down your thighs, Satoru can’t help but push the shirt he’d given you up your waist to expose more of your eager body below. “Why aren’t you speaking baby? You’ve got such a sharp tongue until I’m knuckle deep in your pussy.” 

Shaking your head, you can’t help but push back onto the wall of man behind you. Your pussy is still sensitive from the last orgasm so any touch is amplified. “It’s embarrassing! Just..stop talking.” 

A loud “tch” rings in your ears. “Embarrassing? Awe, how come?” 

Satoru slips another finger past your gummy ring of muscles, scissoring the two digits in a slow deep rhythm that has you leaning forward in an attempt to find a way for his fingers to plunge further within you. 

“Toru please! Don’t start with the teasing like last time. If you’re going to fuck me then do it already!” Your words come out in a shrill breathy whine. To be completely honest you’re not sure if you’d be able to take Satoru’s incessant teasing once more. Here you were, stretched over the kitchen counter while you gushed over your roommate's fingers and all he could do is act like a dickhead! 

Your pleas are music to his ears. 

You feel his touch slip away from your lower body, instead being used to push his own shorts down. Low groans vibrate in your shoulder from where Satoru latches onto the soft skin for an anchor. You might be needier, but Satour was right there with you. Craning your neck to look back, your met with a core achingly intimidating sight. 

He was huge. Both in length and sheer girth. Breaths get stuck in your throat when you feel his cockhead nudging at your clit in rough pumps, the bulbous tip hard against your red puffy lips. You wiggle your hips the best you can in this situation, toes barely skimming the cool wood floor of the kitchen. 

Inch by girthy inch, your pussy is fed with Satoru’s cock. “Oohh fuck baby, I haven’t even put it all in and your already clamping down on me.” Softly he slides his body against yours, leaning down to trail sloppy kisses mixed with nips over the curve of your shoulder. 

A deliciously burning sensation tingles as each thrust of Satoru’s hips pull gasps out of you. You’ve never been this full, ever. Finding a grip on the counter was a struggle. Each relentless slam of Satoru’s hips leave your body jerking forward, dragging your pebbled nipples against the sealed surface. “Feels like y’r gonna tear me apart ‘toru! Sl-ah! Slow down!” 

Satoru’s hips slap against your ass in unforgiving waves. The spongy spot buried deep in your cunt getting abused with each bite from his leaky tip. “Slow down?” Moving one of his hands down between your legs, his fingers latch onto your clit and roll the nub around between the pads of his finger tips. 

“No, I don’t think so baby. Remember that you -ngh-asked me for this.” A shit eating grin forms on Satoru’s perfectly straight teeth. A pack of wild horses could stampede through the kitchen and it still wouldn’t deter Satoru from fucking you silly on his cock. For months, uh uh fuck that, YEARS, this man has minded his manners and let you go about your sad relationships. Now that you were right where he wanted you there was a better chance of hell freezing over than him letting you tap out. 

The longer you struggle to find a grip on the counter, the harder Satoru’s thrust become. Like some pussydrunk teenager he becomes absolutely ruined by the sight of your ass jiggling against him. With each passing moment you can feel an orgasm building ferociously in your belly, that same spot you swear the male behind you fucks into. “Pl-please ‘toru. Not like this.” 

Luckily for you, he knew exactly what you meant. Pulling out of our your fucked out cunt, Satoru pulls you into him for support. Carefully he lifts you up until your back is stuck to the counter and he can wrap your ankles around his waist. “That what you want baby? Hmm?” Stars dance behind your eyes as the slippery feeling of Satoru’s dick realigns itself between your pussylips one more time. Leaning down to kiss you, the older man locks your lips with his in a strangely soft kiss while he spreads your walls apart. 

Lewd squelches erupt between your legs, louder now than before. Your previously shy orgasm is now raging through your muscles before you get a chance to say anything. Stark white blinds you as Satoru swallows whatever sounds arise from your throat, his hands hold your hips down on the marble to keep you in place as he chases a high of his own 

“S’toru! I-” 

“Shh I know baby, m’ right here. Give it to me pretty.” 

Wave after wave of euphoric pleasure crash over the two of you, bodies melded together with the sticky sap like slick from your pussy mixed with sweat. The world falls away around you for the entirety of your come down. Satoru being the only thing keeping you tethered to the world and him wanting nothing short of that role. 

Heavy pants mix together in hot breaths that fan over your chest like a warm blanket. Satoru pulls his achy cock away from the gluey entrapment between your legs causing a small pout to force its way onto your face. He giggles cutely, leaning down to peck a kiss on your damp forehead before searching for both of your clothes. Before he can put your shorts on he takes a rather long look between your legs, a mixture of both yours and his cum leaking down onto the counter; pooling. 

Without another thought Satoru reaches into his shorts pocket to pull his phone out, snapping a picture for safe keeping. “Think the neighbors heard?”

“Shut up and help me get clean. This is so gross I don’t think I can ever eat off the counter again.”

[spiderm444rk]

LOST IN TRANSLATION - mark lee smau

you, as the promising journalism student of NCUT, were more than willing to join the school magazine when you got offered. to your disappointment, the only section they let you have is the anonymous confessions one - which is mostly really, really boring. i mean, who even posts any cool confessions nowadays ? especially in a damn college magazine ? they only offered you the job no one else wanted.

on the other hand, mark, a business student, was never more annoyed with the choice of his major. sure, business is cool and hopefully it’ll earn him money, but it’s not something he could really get into. he always wanted to do music. but after long considering, he chose business instead, to make sure he gets a real job in the future. and he doubts that choice was correct more and more every day.

once the school band announces they’re looking for a new guitarist, he’s absolutely ready to apply until he reads the ‘music students only’ part. pissed off, he starts typing a message to the gc, but it ends up going to a different number - and you finally get to help some poor random stranger who confessed with something interesting.

business major! mark x fem journalism major! reader

GENRE — fluff, comedy, humor, slowburn, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au, college au

WARNINGS — a little bit of cursing, probably kys/kms jokes, mark is really unlucky and awkward, reader as a journalism student loves gossiping a LOT and she’ll get into everyone’s business to do her job properly, a lot of teasing, includes mlm, features other idols (aespa, enhypen…)

STATUS — ongoing

UPDATES — every wednesday and saturday

TAGLIST — open (reply or send an ask)

PLAYLIST — solo - frank ocean, ivy - frank ocean, highway to heaven - nct 127, pink matter - frank ocean, infrunami - steve lacy, attracted to you - pinkpantheress, leave the door open - bruno mars, only if - steve lacy, i like me better - lauv, 200 - mark, fireflies - nct dream, up to you - prettymuch+nct dream, it’s yours - nct dream

A/N — my first smau ever :) but i’m so excited ! hopefully it goes well 🙏🏻

profiles 1 || profiles 2

band introduction

Y/N’s magazine account

1) accidental confessions

2) don’t do anything stupid

3) y/n’s hit tweet

4) we are the most mysterious bitches in this cafeteria

5) they know what you did

6) you found me thanks to my private twitter ?

7) two baddies with connections

8) one at a time gentlemen

9) show them who’s the king

10) a little stalking never hurt anyone

11) we aren’t homophobic !

12) surrounded by opps

13) we’re locked in baby

14) she has a hand kink

15) hope they play charli xcx

16) party in the city where the heat is on

17) he’ll be the passenger princess next time

18) break his heart or his bones ?

19) you heard the boss

20) can you two stop flirting ??

21) one at a time ladies

22) how your email finds me

23) drinks or coffee ?

24) little spoon allegations

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Could you do Toto Wolff with wife reader? There are memes about Toto and Fred Vasseur being all lovey dovey. And there's a scene where they stood close together and Toto just kissed his head while Ted was watching from the background. 🤣🤣 Purely hysterical. And memes about them being Romeo and Juliet when they talk across from each other at Baku. And she's having a blast about it. Constantly teasing him about her being the third wheel. Please, however you see fit. Feat their son, Jack. Kisses, affectionate. Thanks!! :)))

Meme-ing my way to your heart

Word count: 518

Pairing: Toto Wolff x Wife!reader, feat. Jack

I hope I understood everything right and this is good enough 🙈

________________________________________________________

You’re lounging on the couch, scrolling through Twitter when you come across a meme that makes you burst into laughter. It’s that infamous shot of Toto leaning in and kissing Fred’s head while Ted Kravitz stands nearby, looking utterly shocked. The caption reads:

When your best friend gets all the affection and you’re just the confused bystander.

You can’t help but laugh out loud, and it catches Toto’s attention. He glances over from the kitchen, raising an eyebrow. “What now?”

“Just another meme about you and Fred!” you call back, holding up your phone to show him the picture. “Look at this! You’re practically a couple now!”

Toto rolls his eyes but can’t suppress the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “That’s not how it is.”

“Really?” You lean back against the couch, crossing your arms playfully. “Because it looks like you’re in a committed relationship with Fred, and I’m just here to provide comic relief.”

Just then, Jack comes barreling into the room, holding two toy cars, his face lit up with excitement. “Daddy! Mummy! Look what I made!” He waves the cars in the air, completely oblivious to the teasing.

“Wow, Jack! Those are amazing!” you exclaim, bending down to inspect his creations, your laughter momentarily forgotten.

“Look, Mummy!” he insists, showing you both his toys. “They’re race cars! Just like Daddy’s!”

Toto grins, lifting Jack onto his lap. “You’re going to be a champion driver one day, buddy.”

As Jack giggles, you can’t resist leaning in, continuing your playful banter. “Just make sure you don’t kiss Fred on the head like Daddy did! We can’t have any *Romeo* situations around here, right?”

Toto chuckles, shaking his head. “You really enjoy this, don’t you?”

“Absolutely!” You swipe again on your phone, revealing another meme. This one shows Toto and Fred dramatically standing on opposite sides of a balcony in Baku, both gazing longingly at each other. The caption reads:

When you’re in love, but the balcony is just too wide.

“Look at this one!” you say, holding it up for him. “It’s like a scene from a rom-com!”

Toto bursts out laughing, running a hand through his hair. “Alright, alright! Enough with the memes!”

You continue scrolling, revealing yet another gem. This one shows a split image: on one side, it’s you playfully rolling your eyes, and on the other, Toto and Fred looking lovingly at each other, with the caption:

When your wife is the third wheel in your love story.

Jack giggles, clearly catching on. “Daddy, are you going to let go of Fred?”

“No, no!” Toto exclaims, holding Jack tighter. “I’m not letting go of either of you!”

You grin widely, leaning your head against Toto’s shoulder. “Just remember, I’m still your number one, okay? Even if you’re making memes with Fred.”

“Of course, Y/n,” he murmurs, snuggling deeper into you. “You know you’re my one true love.”

You can’t help but laugh again, feeling the warmth of your family around you. “Just wait until the next meme drops. You might end up marrying Fred by the end of the season!”

[unsolicited-opinions]

Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib writes on Twitter about Secretary Blinken's NYT interview:

The "pro-Palestine" movement's role in prolonging the war on Gaza: Though many are angry with Secretary Blinken’s responses during his interview with the New York Times about Gaza, some of the points he shared are absolutely salient and accurate. I have said this time and again and received immense backlash for doing so: Hamas’s war strategy, statements, behavior, and goals regularly shift and oscillate based on international public opinion, the actions of the “pro-Palestine” solidarity movement, and political statements by world governments, leaders, and institutions against Israel’s war. To be clear, I’m not in any capacity saying I endorse the horrendous war that Israel’s been waging on Gaza, killing a large number of civilians (including my family) and failing to achieve strategic and lasting results 15 months later. However, Hamas refused to engage in pragmatic negotiations to end the war it started, pulled back several times from closing a ceasefire/hostage deal, and thought that mass civilian casualties would delegitimize Israel and force it to end the war. Many are uncomfortable with Secretary Blinken’s remarks because he shed light on the reality that “pro-Palestine” rhetoric and pressure on Israel has inevitably or perhaps indirectly resulted in a strengthening of Hamas’s position and the overall worsening of the situation for Palestinians in Gaza. I have said time and again that even if folks wanted to attack and criticize Israeli actions, they should call upon the Islamist group to release hostages and negotiate and off-ramp from the war to implement political transformation. Instead, the “pro-Palestine” and international solidarity movements completely ignored Hamas’s criminality against Palestinians and Israelis alike while failing to promote pragmatic, realistic pathways forward to save the most Palestinian lives and make it clear that Hamas’s actions are unpopular, unsupported, and condemned. Secretary Blinken is right on the money with his remarks. The “pro-Palestine” movements across the world after October 7 bear a significant responsibility for prolonging this war and directly contributing to the massive suffering of Palestinians in the coastal enclave. This dereliction of duty delegitimizes almost the entirety of the premise upon which current “pro-Palestine” activism is built. Take a step back and never, ever speak for, over, or on behalf of the Palestinian people!

Haviv Rettig Gur says he agrees:

I agree with Ahmed. We might assess the war differently, but we assess the future the same. When the dust settles, when the rebuilding begins, the old truths everyone likes to ignore will reassert themselves. We'll be back at square one, with the same problem as before. Israel can't rule the Palestinians for all time, nor can the war ever end as long as Palestinian ideological factions like Hamas consistently undermine every attempt at peace-making. Anyone who doesn't understand how catastrophic Hamas has been to the Palestinian cause is of no use to the Palestinian cause. 90% of Israeli Jews now tell pollsters that the fundamental impulse of the Palestinian national movement is to annihilate them. Imagine for a moment that I personally would like to see Palestinian independence in my lifetime. What am I supposed to do with the reality that that statistic describes? How do I urge my fellow Israelis to once again ante up in a game that they have learned from repeated bitter failure - and from Hamas's own consistent rhetoric - is meant to bring about their destruction? And Hamas did that. It was Hamas (with some help from Arafat) that convinced even most progressive Israelis, through explicit word and endless bloody deeds, that withdrawal or compromise would only bring more bloodshed. As long as Israeli Jews believe that, believe what Hamas tells them, they will remain immune to the moral emotions of foreigners. This is the profound folly at the heart of the pro-Palestinian movement. It wants to pressure Israelis to withdraw while Hamas tells Israelis that it will come for their kids from any inch of land they abandon. The pro-Palestinian movement has not yet noticed that it and Hamas are sending Israelis opposite messages, making opposite demands, and so canceling each other out in the Israeli psyche. And it is Palestinians, always Palestinians, who are the first and greatest victims of this folly. Even their defenders are mostly just corralling them into that same old trap. If you can't separate the Palestinian cause from Hamas's cause, or, indeed, if you share Hamas's yearning to see us destroyed, then you're no defender of Palestine. You are one of its destroyers.

[d1s1ntegrated]

omg ur streamer shigaraki is SO MHMGGGFFFFF, ive been thinking ab shigaraki w his (super out of his league heaven sent) gf and how chat goes crazy when he does a gf reveal at like a 1 mil milestone or whatever.. GAWDDDDD

“chat is this real”

“How did he pull HER?” type beat

streamer!shigaraki: gf reveal! 1mil subs :)

mini smau/lowkey crack

ignore how poorly made the tweets are i did my best 😔

█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

"alright fucks we somehow made it to a million, i'm gonna finally prove im not lying and i do in fact know the touch of a woman"

chat going absolutely wild waiting for her to show up

instead he gets up, goes off cam, and returns with a cardboard cutout of some girl from high school dxd and the chat immediately spams L

->"loser we knew u didn't have a gf"

->"touch grass buddy come on"

->"go back 2 streaming games bro"

->"it's ok we're all a little delulu sometimes"

->"ur still my fav bro"

->"buddy...."

->"clapped"

->"not the dxd girl wtf"

->"ew"

->"LLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

->"troll"

he reads the chat out loud, stopping specifically on "troll". he smiles wide and nods

"yeah, i guess i am a troll. i dunno, what do you think babe?"

an unfamiliar voice rings out, muffled from the side; "you might be"

you come out from the side to "read the chat" better and they stop altogether, like chat literally dies for a few seconds

->"what."

->"WWWWWWWWWWW"

->"ain't no way"

->"HOW"

->"how much does he pay u"

->"NO SHOTTJWJW"

->"YO????????"

->"HE PULLED HER??????"

->"W"

->"IS THIS REAL??"

->"guys he's lying it's his sister"

->"he doesn't have a sister dumb fuck"

->"ON GOD??1?1?2"

->"CAN U BE MY GF TOO"

->"SHIG UR GF SO HOT PLS DONT DIE"

->"on my knees crying"

->" ('-')7 sorry we doubted u"

->" ('-')7"

->" (•_•)777777777"

->"W"

-> "w chain"

->"W"

->"W"

->"W"

you sit on his lap and he grins, laughing at the reactions of the chat

"i fucking told you"

you laugh and read the chats out loud, answering a few of them along the way

"no i'm not his sister, ew, it's very real, we've been together for a while now, also that cutout is mine, i bought it for the stream"

over the next few hours, both of your phones go off repeatedly with notifications. social media sites are booming with your reveal, and #shiggygfreveal becomes a top tag on twitter.

scrolling through the tag, you find multiple posts about how beautiful you are, how lucky he is, etc

u both finally decide to collab, which brings a huge number of followers up QUICKLY

chat is forever stunned and bowing at shiggys feet because of it ('-')7

██████████

guys lmk if i should keep making this smau/other ones cause this was kinda fun ngl

hope u enjoyed :-3

fank u 4 the request sweet babe @yuckyyenaa ! 🥳🫶

[theonottsbxtch]

CELEBRITY CRUSH | LS2

a/n: i know people have been begging for part three of secret sister but! this first and then maybe part three - making the most of my summer break 🤭 also i am british and i know that london and silverstone aren't close at all. it's just for the plot :(

fc: gracie abrams & pinterest

requests: open

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend, userone, usertwo and 98,372 others

paris are we ready! teaser song for new album secret of us comes out tomorrow, be there or be square.

*tap to load more comments*

userone: we are SO ready

usertwo: secret of us is going to eat i fear

yourbestfriend: WHOOP WHOOP

yourusername: that’s the sound of the police!

yourbestfriend: yes but no

userthree: anyone have any resale 🥲

userfour: did i just hear new situationship anthem?

userfive: guys i am not ready

Twitter - Celebrity Goss

Logan Sargeant Post Race Interview

Twitter

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, yourbestfriend, userone and 87,917 others

home (london looks prettier than bedford)

*tap to load more comments*

userone: @/logansargeant

usertwo: @/logansargeant

userthree: @/logansargeant

userfour: @/logansargeant

yourbestfriend: what is going on😭

yourusername: i have no idea😭

userfive: @/logansargeant

logansargeant: 🤨

yourusername: fuck

twitter

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, yourbestfriend, mgmrecords and 91,728 others

everyone say hi to clover

*tap to load more comments*

userone: hi clover

usertwo: patiently waiting for logan to comment

userthree: she’s so cute

yourbestfriend: clover is MY dog

yourusername: i havé no idea what you're on about

userfour: our cottage girl

logansargeant: cute

yourusername: i am not cute 😡 i am a very serious woman

logansargeant: that’s cute

usertwo: AHHHH THEYRE PUBLICLY FLIRTING

yourusername’s story

[caption: vegas are we ready!!]

story replies:

yourbestfriend: good look ml!

userone: see you there!

logansargeant: 👀

logansargeant's story

[caption: MGM grand las vegas]

userone: no way!!

usertwo: i can't believe what i'm seeing right now

userthree: holy shit.

alex_albon: there is no way you actually did it

oscarpiastri: when i said you should go to her concert i meant it as a joke, creep.

twitter

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend, logansargeant, alex_albon and 89,935 others

thank you vegas

*tap to load more comments*

userone: GUYS LOGAN WAS THERE!

yourbestfriend: most specialist person in my life

yourusername: most specialist person in mine

usertwo: we are witnissing fandom history

userthree: i love you, i'm sorry is going to CHART

logansargeant: good show

yourusername: just good

logansargeant: absolutely splendid

yourusername: you sound british, are you making fun of me?

logansargeant: i live in london

yourusername: then why don't you come to my london show?

logansargeant: if you come to silverstone, i will

userfour: holy shit.

userfive: are you seeing what i'm seeing?

usersix: AHHHH

userseven: THEY ARE FLIRTING!! CODE RED!!

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, yourbestfriend, oscarpiastri and 94,284 others

oh how i love you london (and silverstone)

*tap to load more comments*

userone: SHE WENT!

usertwo: london gig was so cute

userthree: who else saw logan at the london mouthing the lyrics to close to you?

alex_albon: now you know what i can hear from his drivers room

userthree: HOLY SHIT NO WAY

yourbestfriend: that was so cool, i now want to watch cars go zoom more often

oscarpiastri: if she doesn't invite you let me know

userfour: OSCAR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

userfive: project number two?

logansargeant: will never forgive you for wearing a ferrari cap

yourusername: i had nothing else

logansargeant: we can change that

usersix: parents

yourusername's story

story replies

yourbestfriend: that's what your phone was on dnd all day

userone: AHHHH

logansargeant's story

story replies

oscarpiastri: no wonder you cancelled on gym

alex_albon: guess i understand why you skipped cardio at the gym with us today

userone: holy shit holy shit holy shit

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, yourbestfriend, williamsracing and 92,048 others

well deserved break

*tap to load more comments*

userone: THIRD SLIDE

usertwo: is that yn on the mug help

yourbestfriend: i would appreciate it if you stopped kidnapping my dogs

yourusername: no :)

userthree: mum and dad

userfour: can't wait to see you in melbourne!

logansargeant: cute

yourusername: i am not playing this game with you again

logansargeant: you suck

alex_albon: @/oscarpiastri @/yourbestfriend i'm so glad they use the mug we got them

oscarpiastri: good investement

yourbestfriend: you're welcome for the photo

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon yourusername and 983,392 others

summer break pending.

*tap to load more comments*

userone: there is no way they got matching shoes

usertwo: correction, HE got them matching shoes. his blue for williams and hers pink for her bows. ladies and gentlemen, logan sargeant.

userthree: i want what they have

yourbestfriend: where is my pair of shoes

oscarpiastri: i can get you one

yourbestfriend: yay! thanks osc :)

yourusername: osc?

userfour: osc?

alex_albon: osc?

logansargeant: osc?

userfive: i'm telling my kids that they were carl and ellie from up

usersix: i don't know who i'm more jealous of

yourusername: guess you're cool or wtv

logansargeant: guess you're cute of wtv

yourusername:😡

bonus

logansargeant

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon, yourusername and 84,384 others

my girlfriend is hotter (and cuter) than yours

*tap to load more comments*

userone: stop they're so adorable

usertwo: the cute comment

yourbestfriend: did she let you post that?

alex_albon: she is currently chasing him around the training facility while me, lily and oscar are laughing

yourbestfriend: film it

userthree: and post it.

userfour: your honour, i love them too much

a/n: i had too much fun with this hehe

[apteryxparvus]

AITA for exposing my pro volleyball player boyfriend's monster addiction on r/fridgedetective?

Pairing — Suna Rintarou / Reader

Word count — 2,046

Content warning — none

Summary — When you accidentally expose your boyfriend for hoarding an ungodly amount of Monster energy drinks in his mini fridge, the internet takes it and runs wild.

You don’t think twice when you head to your boyfriend’s mini-fridge. Suna always keeps a stash of snacks and drinks in there for late-night movie marathons, and you’re desperately craving a fizzy hit of Ramune soda. But when you open the fridge…

Monster Energy. 

Monster Energy everywhere.

You don’t even spot the soda you’re looking for. Just rows upon rows of neon cans stacked like Tetris blocks, along with an alarming number of Chuupets squished in the corners. Who needs this much caffeine and sugar?

The fridge hums ominously, as if judging you for your surprise.

Naturally, you take a picture and post it.

For science.

You don’t expect much. Maybe 10 or 20 upvotes, and a couple of comments from bored strangers confirming that, yes, Suna’s energy drink consumption is borderline criminal. After all, it’s just a silly post on a silly subreddit, nothing to lose sleep over.

But when you groggily check your Reddit account the next morning, your notifications are wild. It’s not just a handful of upvotes—it’s thousands. Your post isn’t just trending on r/fridgedetective; it’s made the Reddit front page.

There’s an overwhelming flood of comments, many of them calling out your boyfriend by name. A part of you wants to laugh—because, really, how did they guess so fast?—but another part of you is too scared to even open Twitter or any other social media platform. You just know someone has screenshotted it and blasted it across the internet; probably with a wild caption like: “Suna Rintarou EXPOSED by his own partner”.

The sheer absurdity hits you like a train. Your boyfriend’s unhealthy obsession with energy drinks and frozen treats has gone viral. Your boyfriend has gone viral.

And, at this point, you’re not sure if you should wake him up to warn him, or just quietly pack your things and go into witness protection.

Among the chaos of Reddit notifications, your phone buzzes with a few messages. A quick glance tells you it’s from two very predictable sources.

Kita: Just empty the fridge and restock it with healthy food. He’ll grumble, but it’s for the best.

Atsumu: WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE U TATTLED ON MY BOY LIKE THAT 💀💀💀

You sigh, rubbing your temples. Against your better judgement, you open the Inarizaki High alumni group chat—and immediately regret it.

Atsumu is clearly living for this. You should’ve known better.

He’s on a rampage, flooding the chat with screenshots from Twitter.

"Suna's fridge contents have NO BUSINESS being this cursed."

"Suna Rintarou EXPOSED for his crimes against hydration."

"Monster sponsorship when???"

It’s one caption after another, each one wilder than the last. You groan, burying your face in your pillow, as if that could block out the chaos unfolding on your screen. You can practically hear Atsumu’s wheezy cackles through the text, and his twin brother, Osamu, is doing nothing to help—just spamming the chat with popcorn emojis like he’s front row at the circus.

You sigh, fingers hovering over the keyboard as you prepare to grill Atsumu for being the absolute worst at 7 AM. But before you can type a single word, the bed shifts.

Suna groans softly, stirring beside you. His arm slides over your waist, pulling you closer as he burrows his face into the crook of your neck.

“Mm, what’s with all the buzzing?” he mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Nothing,” you lie, way too quickly, throwing your phone across the bed like it’s radioactive. You lean in to press a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t worry, just go back to sleep.”

It almost works. Almost. But your phone keeps vibrating obnoxiously—no doubt Atsumu is still spamming the group chat with screenshots and whatever unhinged commentary he’s decided to add. You curse yourself for not muting him earlier, but now it’s far too late.

Suna groans again, this time with the exasperation of someone who just wants five more minutes of peace. He shifts, reaching for the phone you so desperately tried to avoid.

“Why’s Atsumu spamming the group chat so early?” he asks groggily, his thumb already swiping across the screen.

“No reason!” you blurt out, sitting up too quickly. “You don’t need to check—”

But it’s too late. The moment Suna opens the chat, his expression shifts. His sleepy indifference hardens into something sharper. 

Betrayal.

Two days later, you’re settled into your couch, blanket wrapped snug around your shoulders, laptop propped up on your knees. Kodzuken’s stream is set to start in fifteen minutes, and if you’re going to survive whatever chaos the streamer’s chat is inevitably bound to bring, you’re going to need a heavy caffeine boost.

Your eyes slowly drift to the mini fridge in the corner.

You’ve been trying to avoid it ever since the whole incident. But you cannot deny the itch for something cold and fizzy to keep you awake. There’s a moment of hesitation as you chew on your lip, before you finally stand up and pad over.

“Okay… alright,” you mumble to yourself, hand hovering over the handle. “It’s just a fridge. How bad can it be?”

You pull it open.

And the sight nearly makes you drop to your knees.

Gone is the chaotic hoard of neon green Monster Energy cans and suspicious, almost-melted chuupets. Instead, the shelves are pristine, almost squeaky white, gleaming as if the fridge belongs to some sort of soda commercial. And every single slot has been replaced with your favorite soda flavor.

Each glass bottle has a sticky note attached to it, the handwriting unmistakably Suna’s—slightly tilted to the right and a little lazy, like he couldn’t quite be bothered but also cared just enough.

The first note you pick you reads: “I’m doing this for you, even though it hurts 💔💔.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, you pick up another bottle, the condensation slick against your palm. This note reads: “Please don’t post me online again 😔💔.”

A third one in the far back reads: “I hope you’re happy. My dignity is in shambles.”

You choke back a laugh, clutching the bottle to your chest like it’s some sort of love letter.

Everything is just absurd. Dramatic. Completely unnecessary.

But so him.

Kenma’s notification pings from your laptop, reminding you his stream is starting soon. But for a moment, you just stand there, bathed in the soft glow of the fridge light, staring at the ridiculous display of Ramune bottles and heartfelt stickies.

Dinner is a quiet affair, save for the occasional clink of chopsticks against bowls and the soft fizz that Suna’s Ramune soda makes as he takes a long, dramatic sip. You can’t help but glance at him as your phone buzzes with another notification from the group chat.

The #monstersmvp hashtag Atsumu created is still going strong.

You unlock your phone, and cover your mouth trying to stifle a laugh—Atsumu’s latest spamming spree is a trainwreck you cannot look away from.

“What now?” Suna asks, voice flat as he picks at his food.

“‘tsumu keeps sending the eulogies from the hashtag. Ready to hear the best of the best?”

 “No,” your boyfriend deadpans, taking another slow, deliberate sip of the fizzy drink.

Ignoring him, you start reading anyway. “Okay, here goes,” you clear your throat, holding the phone up dramatically. “Rest in power: Gone but never forgotten. Suna’s energy drink hoard was a beacon of poor nutritional choices and excessive caffeine addiction. Taken from us far too soon by the merciless hand of justice (a.k.a. his girlfriend). May its legacy live on in vending machines and gas station coolers everywhere.”

Suna rolls his eyes, but you can see the corners of his mouth subtly twitching, like he’s trying not to laugh.

“Wait, wait,” you say, scrolling further. “It wasn’t Suna’s blocks that made him a true legend. No, it was his fridge full of Monsters. The stash stood as a tall, proud monument to his dedication to caffeine and chaos, but alas, all good things must come to an end. In lieu of flowers, please send Ramune soda.”

He takes another slow sip of his soda, gaze fixed on you over the rim of the bottle. “These people are unhinged.”

“You mean your fans are unhinged,” you correct, waving your phone at him. “You brought this on yourself, you know.”

He sets the bottle down, resting his chin in his hand as he smirks at you, that lazy, infuriating smirk that makes your heart skip a beat even when you’re annoyed with him. “You’re awfully invested in this for someone who caused the whole mess.”

“Excuse me, you’re the one who kept a hoard of energy drinks like some kind of cryptid!”

“And you’re the one who made it go viral.”

Suna shakes his head, clicking his chopsticks. “If I ever get my stash back, I’m putting a padlock on that fridge.”

“Sure,” you tease, scrolling through the wall of text messages. “But you’ll have to bribe me first.”

The morning after starts with the doorbell buzzing like it’s got a personal grudge against your sleep. You groan, burrowing deeper into the blankets as Suna mumbles incoherently beside you.

“Are you gonna get that?” you ask, voice muffled by the pillow.

“Nope,” he replies, eyes still closed.

The buzzing continues, persistent and annoying, until you finally throw the blankets off with a groan. “Fine, I’ll do it. But if it’s Atsumu, I’m kicking him.”

Shuffling to the door in your pajamas, you swing it open, ready to give whoever it is a piece of your mind. Instead, you’re greeted by two delivery people dressed in head-to-toe Monster Energy attire. Hats, shirts, gloves—even their shoes have the Monster logo.

“Delivery for Suna Rintarou?” one of them says, all too chipper for this ungodly hour.

Behind them is a massive, industrial-sized fridge wrapped in black and neon green, the Monster Energy logo glowing ominously on the front.

You blink. “You’re joking.”

“We’re not,” the other delivery person says, already wheeling the monstrosity closer.

You stand frozen as they maneuver the fridge through the door, parking it in the middle of your living room like it belongs there. By the time Suna wanders out from your bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the delivery people are gone, and the fridge looms like some sort of otherworldly deity.

“What the hell is that?” he asks, voice rough with sleep.

“Your consequences, clearly,” you grumble.

“You think it comes pre-stocked?”

You stay quiet, keeping your distance from the fridge as if your glare alone might short-circuit the thing. If you got too close, you’d be tempted to whack it with something—like the baseball bat you keep by the door in case of emergencies.

Suna, unbothered by your lack of answer, wanders closer, hand lazily brushing against the neon logo before gripping the handle. He looks back at you with a smirk.

The door creaks open.

Even though the fridge isn’t even on, it’s packed to the brim with dozens upon dozens of Monster cans. Shelves sag under the weight of every imaginable flavor—there are classics, tropical blends, tea-infused hybrids, even some cans with foreign text that scream exclusive import.

“How is this fridge even stocked? It’s not on.” You can’t hold back the groan. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Look at this,” Suna says, picking up a can with a holographic label. He holds it up like it’s some kind of treasure. “I didn’t even know this flavor existed.”

“Put it back,” you say, your voice sharp. “I’m gonna set it on fire, I swear."

He doesn’t listen. Instead, he grabs another can, then another. “They’ve got the white pineapple, the tea blend... oh, and the zero-calorie peach! This is insane.”

“I’m gonna lose my mind.” You bury your face in your hands, trying to process the sheer audacity of the situation. “Who does this?!”

“There, there,” Suna teases, patting your back. “Want a sip?” he asks, cracking open a random can.

You glare at him, contemplating the consequences of slamming the door shut on both the cans and his smug face. Instead, you stomp to the couch, plopping down, and muttering, “I’m calling ‘tsumu. This has his name written all over it.”

Suna’s laughter echoes through the living room, followed by the distinct hiss of him opening yet another can.

Author's note: phew, editing the Reddit posts took ages 🤧 please ignore any discrepancies between the profile pictures of the users pls

i’ll marry whoever buys me a fully stocked redbull fridge, no questions asked

[sissa-arrows]

If you’re losing hope and feel like Palestine is losing support know that those who are throwing Palestinians under the bus because of the US election never stood for Palestine in the first place.

If you dig into it a lot of account were actually Zionists or “neutral” which only help the oppressors. But even those who looked pro Palestine they were not pro Palestine or pro Palestinian they were “pro watermelon” they jumped on the bandwagon to give themselves a good conscience but the biggest thing they did was adding a watermelon to their Twitter display names. They didn’t protest they didn’t donate they didn’t learn and tried to learn as well. They are like all the liberals who see Trump deporting people of color and protest and then when Biden does the same at a higher rate and higher number they suddenly can’t see it. Because it’s never been about protecting the rights of other people it’s never been about anti racism or anti colonialism or anti imperialism. It’s always been about appearance being able to say “look we’re not racists because we kicked out the guy who does horrible things and say it in favor of the guy who does the same horrible things without advertising it.”

Absolutely no human being who saw all the images that we are getting from Palestine for 10 months now would turn around and change their mind. You cannot see these images and be touched by them to just change your mind when it’s inconvenient to you. These people felt nothing in the first place. So know that Palestine and Palestinians didn’t lose any support because those who actually support them, those who know their history keep supporting them.

Palestine will be free in our lifetime Insha’allah. And those who were “neutral” might not face a the consequences of their actions in these world but just like the genociders who will face consequences in our world they will face divine justice as well. Just like there’s only one place in the afterworld for a shahid there’s also only one place for genociders and their accomplices.

Allah yarham shouhada.

[ribombee-lapidarym]

So, we've been doing some research on which platforms are best/worst for being openly endo/pro-endo on

Disclaimer: this applies only if you are going to be actively interacting with / coming across plural spaces in these socials

More in-depth info under cut

Tumblr: you know it, you love it, you're currently on it. Tumblr is near undoubtedly the best social media to be endo/pro endo on (that we've found). Users / followers of pro endo tags outnumber users / followers of anti endo tags, which, while definitely existing along with anti-endo blogs, are far less popular, as well as being full mostly of posts that aren't even about endos or even sometime plurality in general, they're more just regular posts tagged with it just to ensure the "icky endos" stay away from their posts.

Bluesky: anti endos are far more common to encounter on Tumblr, but are still generally outnumbered by pro endos. Most mentions of endos just have them on DNI lists from antis or people doing syscourse.

Pinterest: honestly we should have put Pinterest next to Twitter on this list, they're about the same. Anyway, you can't really do text posts though you can definitely find anti endo userboxes and flags, but there's also quite a few endos / pro endos on there. They seem to number about the same

Twitter/X: surprisingly good! A fair few systems on there state being radplur/radinclus, even if they don't explicitly state they're pro endo. We saw just as many people supporting endos as we did hating on them, though syscourse doesn't seem to be discussed often on there.

Instagram: anti endos appear to outnumber pro endos by a little bit. The top few posts we saw were about 50% "why endos are bad" 40% "why endos are okay" and 10% "why fakeclaiming in general is bad (this does not extend to endos)". Overall, fairly negative place to be, try to avoid.

Youtube: 95% of videos about endos are information videos about them or "why I don't support endos" or "why are endos problematic". Syscourse is not a popular topic there, videos are 1000 views at max. There are definitely better places to be endo / pro endo

Tiktok: absolute hell for endos and pro endos alike. Next to no pro endos, next to no usage of the proendo tag, home of Asp*nfr*st*n. For your own safety and mental health, if you use tiktok, do not publically announce you are endo. It is better to stay away from the plurality side in general, to be honest.

Reddit: not on this list. This is because, due to how separated communities are, Reddit is Schrodinger's syscourser: both anti and pro endo at the same time, depending on which plural communities you frequent.

Hope this is helpful! :]

Let us know if you want us to investigate another social media we didn't mention, we're happy to do so.... for a price (the price is you asking us :P. We will not charge someone for making sure they are safe to be themselves on the Internet ^_^)

Quick tag in case its interested: @furyfuzz

And transparent blank template for this arrow we made:

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 1 (2025)

By Aj, Dion, Briar and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

New year, new edition of WNiIF!

We’re excited to continue this project through out the new year! Check out Announcements to read about some changes we’re implementing.

Check out the Events!

Are you looking for new exciting projects to play? Then don’t forget to check out the Events!

Games featured in jams are usually not included in New Releases because there would be too many of them. So if you’re trying to find something new, check there too!

Small Talk with Harris Powell-Smith! @hpowellsmith

We had the absolute pleasure of talking to Harris Powell-Smith and discussing their work. Check out this post to read about their new release Honor Bound and more!

We hope you enjoy this new issue!

AJ, DION, BRIAR AND PETER

~ ANNOUNCEMENTS ~

Most importantly:

WNiIF? is switching to a bi-weekly schedule!

Keeping up with news and releasing a new Issue every week is exhausting. We have decided to change it up a bit, hopefully preventing a possible burnout. We also hope that this will give us more time to make every Issue a bit better.

We thank you for your understanding.

What else?

Our X/Twitter account is no longer active. Please check out our other social media to keep an eye on releases and news.

We plan on releasing a special What’s 2024 in IF? Issue summing up all Issues that came out last year. This will include New Releases, Event Highlights, Columns, Game Highlights and more, making it easier for new readers to check out the Zine. The date of release is not set yet, but hopefully soon!

More exciting stuff is to be unveiled in the upcoming Issues!

~ ENDED ~

Did the start of the new year leave you somber and melancholic? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam to match your mood!

Winter Visual Novel Jam 2024 is here! You have until January 1st 2025 to submit your projects.

Are you familiar with Decker? Then why not take a part in the Deck-Month 2?

Velox Turbo 2 - The Eye of the Beholder is now over and results are in! Check out the results!

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is a year-long "jam" meant to collect and showcase Interactive Fiction games completed in 2024, and show how diverse the Interactive Fiction scene is! This year had an unbelievable number of 270 entries!

Partim 500 numéro 9 is a French language interactive fiction jam, this time with a theme: Dénanti!

~ VOTING ~

Feeling nostalgic about the golden age of text adventures? Relive those days by participating in PunyComp 2024!

IF Short Games Showcase 2024 is a great way to shine some new light on projects made in the past year (Jan 1, 2024 to Dec 31, 2024). You now have until January 15th 2025 to vote.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Media depicting healthy examples of polyamory isn’t that common. The PolyJamorous 2024 is trying to break the status-quo!

The Queer Winter Game Jam is in full swing. Those interested can submit their work until January 16th 2025.

ShuffleComp is a musical interactive fiction competition where you make games based on songs, which are submitted by other entrants. Creators have until January 20th 2025 to upload their works.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

SeedComp! is a 2-round interactive fiction game jam, focusing on creativity and the growth of ideas and the Sprouting Round has just started! Check out the Planting round for inspiration.

BL stands for Boys' Love, a genre that focuses on romantic and emotional relationships between male characters. The Ultimate BL Visual Novel Game Jam is all about that!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

Over a year has passed since asking too many murder-related questions online (for your book) got you invited to a serial killer chatroom. You’re now a bestselling writer, desperately in love, and have come to think of the server as family - it's like a dream come true. Sure, most of them still think you are a serial killer, your boss needs you to write another hit ASAP and your one true love is definitely technically a murderer, but look on the bright side - it’s A Very Killer Chat! Christmas!

Jessica Jane Has a Crush!? (Ren’Py) And to make matters worse, a crush on her best friend Rena! Follow Jessica as she navigates these complicated feelings, all while dealing with the struggles of attending an art university and coping with her mum's strict parenting.

Hamlet meets Sharknado. Not Your Mother’s Shire is a dark romantic comedy set in a fantasy world ruled by unusual dragons. Comparables: Dragon Age, Rick and Morty, Monty Python, Discworld, LotR.

Your world is a desert, both figuratively and literally. Speech is prohibited, books are outlawed, and any meaningful human interaction is nonexistent. Humans are reduced to the job they do for The City. There are no names; instead, everyone is identified by a number. You are H-313, a healer. - Viatica (Twine) @fir-fireweed

When the clock strikes midnight, The Dance of the Red Rose Begins (Ren’Py). - Princess Briar is finally of age to attend the illustrious Dance of the Red Rose, having dreamed of taking part since she was a child. There is just one problem, she does not have a dance partner! Will you help her confess her blooming feelings to one of the guests and secure a place on the ballroom dance floor?

Scales of Justice (CScript) - Rumours circulate the streets of Capital. Rumours of an artefact, as dangerous and powerful as one can only fear. Some claim it’s capable of twisting one’s true nature, shaping it much to the owner’s whim; others say that it can identify a soul’s essence, putting the Ritual of Fate in a tight spot for the first time in centuries. Many want to get it; many others, to destroy it. You? You are none of those–you just want to live. And yet, your (almost) safe and peaceful life as a humble adventurer is threatened by a letter with today’s date on it, written in your mother’s hand… @myimaginedcorner

It wasn't long ago that the Mother Superior dragged her out of her cell, forcing Hedwig to break her oath to God as an Anchoress and face the outside world. Acting as a spy for the leader of Linbarrow Abbey, Hedwig was given one seemingly simple task: Discover who really murdered Sister Catherine. In Misericorde Volume Two: White Wool & Snow (Ren’Py), Sister Hedwig must steel herself. Time is running out, and so is sympathy for her situation.

An unexpected apocalypse takes you away from your hi-tech metropolis, sending you to a distant, very different world. In this new fantasy world, elemental magic permeates the soil, Buddhist philosophy leads people’s lives, and Hindu demigods (Devas and Asuras) fight for supremacy. Why did you get here? Is there a way back home? But most of all, is this reality, or is it just a dream? Play Last Dream (CScript) to find out.

It's nearing the holidays and you find yourself with less plans that usual to fill your end of year schedule, as friends are out of town and most of your family is delayed in travels. Being in a season of giving, your bestie is at least appreciative to have you around to cover her shift for one day before she is back from vacation. Serve customers as a barista at the Brewspout -- filling in on one of the busiest days of the year, the Holiday Mixer (Ren’Py) special.

The fledgling Union Army is yet to meet the Confederates in a major battle. The north expects a swift and decisive victory, but they are overconfident. They will soon discover the brutal, drawn-out nature of industrial warfare. As a regimental commander in the Union Army, you must navigate a series of desperate decisions to keep your men alive and prevent military disaster. Serve alongside the real officers and regiments who fought at First Bull Run (CScript) in this historically accurate depiction of the battle.

"The wildest journey begins with a single step. Sometimes that step is straight down into an open trap-door. Commit or stay home!" - Advent Window (Inform 7)

A coincidence lead you and Marley to both find each other online at the old chatroom from when you first met. You had been waiting and trying to get him to listen and talk properly for a long time...

Will your separation be amicable, or will things go too far in Divorce Chatroom (Ren’Py)?

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Buried beneath the sprawling castle at the heart of Minare is a room most think is legend: the Library of Souls. As a member of the royal cleaning staff—and one with Fae-blood—sneaking into The Eternal Library (CScript) is a dangerous idea, but you risk it for a ritual that gives you the skills of your warrior ancestor and a mission that spans lifetimes. Destiny calls your warrior spirit to wake. Assassins are infiltrating the castle. The kingdom is ripe for change, and it needs your help. Your soul has waited lifetimes for the chance to put things right. Now, it’s time.

You play as a 13 year old girl desperate to get back to her big brother who will protect her in a zombie apocalypse. - Zomrizen (CScript)

Get to know two characters from the upcoming dating sim Love Life + NIGHT LIFE (Ren’Py)! Through this demo, you'll have the chance to ask the characters questions, go on two dates only available in the demo, and even...access their computers?

~ UPDATES ~

After Dark (CScript) has updated their demo. @dalekowrites

Ashenmaw - Dragons of Marrowoods (CSscript) added new content to their demo. @ashenmaw-if

High School Revenge (CSscript) released Chapters 3 and 4.

Lost in your eyes (CSscript) released Chapter 3.4 and 3.5. @kathrinesadventures

Merry Crisis (CScript) released Chapter 5. @merrycrisis-if

Sense & Sorcery (CScript) added new content to their demo.

Shattered Eagle: Fall of an Empire (CScript) updated Chapter 5. @shattered-eagle

Spire, Surge and Sea (CScript) added new content to their demo.

Unneeded Script (Twine) released Part 2 of Chapter 1. @unneededscript-if

Villain Intern (CScript) updated their demo. @villainintern

Voiceless: Siren’s Song (CScript) released first part of Chapter 3.

War of Beasts (CScript) updated their demo.

Exit Through the Gift Shop (CScript) added new content to their demo.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - An affair of the heart (CScript) updated their Patreon demo. @doriana-gray-games

Grey Swan - Birds of a Rose (CScript) added new content to the demo. @reinekes-fox

The Second Sight (Twine) released Chapter 6 on Patreon. @spoiledblogif

The Wroth Ode (CScript) added new content to their demo. @thewrothode-if

~ OTHER ~

The Retro Adventurers - Episode 13 - 2024 Year-End Chatisode is out! Hear about Tim Gilberts' Heathkit, Scott Adams' next professional moves, adventures in ADABAS / Natural, and a long-overdue callback to the Clarion Beauty Computer!

Saturnine (CScript) has received its final content update and it will now enter an “open beta” stage. @satur9-if

@hpowellsmith just released a rundown of CScript releases, new WIPs, and updated WIPs for the whole of 2024!

@interact-if is officially back in business! Good luck to Allie as the new mod!

When Twilight Strikes (Twine) released a Christmas short. @evertidings

~ SMALL TALK… ~

> WITH HARRIS POWELL-SMITH @hpowellsmith

Joining us is an award-winning narrative designer and writer: Harris Powell-Smith, Author of the Crème de la Crème series, “Blood Money” and many more!

⟶ Hello, Harris! Welcome to Small Talk. We are absolutely thrilled to have you here with us! Before we officially begin, would you mind sharing with us a bit about yourself?

Hi! I'm a narrative designer and game writer who's worked on a few indie and mobile games including the multiplayer King of the Castle and the mobile Love Island tie-in game. Currently I'm freelancing and mostly creating choose-your-path text games with Choice of Games, which I've now been doing for eight years.

I'm most known for my dark academia Crème de la Crème series, and most recently released Honor Bound, the fourth standalone game in the series!

⟶ To read the rest of the Interview, check out the Itch version or the separate post! (A new thing we're testing out to make these posts more readable. Please let you know what you think!)

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Exit/Corners by Moon Moth Games (???)

A suspenseful VN with puzzles à la Zero Escape. It's got a lot of heart for a death game story.

//submitted by Sera//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

Sera

For sending us a Highlight!

And everyone who participated in our end-of-the-year survey for their feedback and lovely messages.

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

See you in two weeks!

AJ, DION, BRIAR AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2025-ISSUE 1

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!