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sansundertale14x1 · 8 months ago

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why NauseAxe_404 loves your writing so much…

based on this silly tweet, I’m gonna use ‘Nick’ for this- for ease of writing (and for my poor poor hands.)

no pronouns but ‘you’- little post cuz I haven’t written in a while.- use of the in-game website: "Dumblr", no it's not a typo;-; Proshippers DNI

word count: 878

content warning: brief explanations of canon violence, creepy stalker-ish behavior (NOTHING SEXUAL ATTACHED), Nick being a weirdo honestly.

vvv that isn't my art, and this entire writing is a fanfic for a game " Monster x Mediator" made by HeadLocker! I really recommend playing the game or watching the gameplay, cuz it's really fantastic!

Story under cut :3

Nick’s in love with your writing…(if you already couldn’t tell), but it’s difficult for you to understand why.

Usually, when you'd open up your laptop, it was after a tough shift at your crap job and you just wanted to do something to fill in the time after dinner and before bed. It was always on the shorter side, 100 words each, and was normally just a quick and crappy self-insert fic to satisfy your creative urges from doing a boring-ass job all day. You never really thought your tiny one-shots would attract any attention, but the man you've been staying with proves otherwise.

"NauseAxe_404" is what he called himself, but you've just been calling him 'Nick' for now. He had been reading your old Dumblr blog for who knows how long, and he's taken a major interest in your little shitposts...So much, so that he had taken the time to print out every single one of your posts and personal information pinned to his room's walls. It's extremely creepy...but also sort of charming?

For the last few days or so, you've been held in Nick's hotel room, practically glued to a desk with a typewriter...slowly making your way through a 100-paged fic that he specifically requested of you. Though you technically could stand up and leave...you'd really prefer for your skull to stay in one piece...and not have a bullet put through your temple.

Nick has been staring at you almost the entire time...which only certified in your mind that he is not human. Every time you turn to see if he's still there...like an unmoving fortress, he always is. It's been a solid 8+ hours of you sitting there and writing...and your stomach starts to emit loud sounds of hunger. You pray he didn't hear that, and continue to type away at the dated machine. However, to your dismay, his deep voice chimes in.

"...What page are you on...?"

Nick asks, seemingly trying to speak quietly for you, but his naturally booming voice isn't giving you any favors.

"...uhm..."

You take a moment to review what you have done...it doesn't look like much but it feels like it took AGES to write out...

"About...10? It's not a-"

"That's wonderful, Superstar!"

He cuts you off just as you begin to speak.

Of course, he's going to be ecstatic. You can't fathom why he seems to be so hopelessly in love with whatever you slap on the paper. You're curious..so you begin to speak.

"...uhm...Nick...why do you..take interest in my writing?"

You softly speak, trying to be careful with your words...you can't afford to overstimulate this man.

For a chatty guy...Nick was oddly silent at the ask of this question…or at least for a few seconds.

“I was trying to find a way to ease the boredom and loneliness of this fucking hotel, so…huff…I joined Dumblr and started to search for writing…that was…huff….purposeful…and that could fix me..”

No way in hell your crackfics could change this man...He must've come out of the womb like that. (or...however the hell he was made..)

"...I came across your first post years ago..huff...and fell in love with the way you wrote your love interest....huff...I knew you were talking about me when I wrote all those comments~"

You never looked at comments due to embarrassment...and you honestly didn't think anyone would even care to comment in the first place.

"....you weren't responding to me...huff...so I might've found everything about you in the meantime...huff...just so I could notice you in a crowd...I always will~"

Okay, now it's getting creepy. You hope that by just turning back around and continuing to write maybe he'd shut up...You guess it's sorta your fault for striking up a conversation with the creep.

"All the other writers don't know shit about writing...huff...1k word counts...huff...long and complicated stories that don't make any fucking sense..."

There goes the rambles. You stop typing for a moment to process what the hell he just said. He either is really balls-deep into this fantasy of you being a perfect human...or he's just trying to fluff you up so you'll continue writing for him. He's really delusional, that's it. It's seriously hard to believe your crap was life-changing for Nick.

“Simplicity is the most important part…huff…not describing some stupid walk sequence for 3 sentences…huff…it’s a waste of space..”

"....maybe you just like simpler writing...?"

You softly reply, yet again praying that you didn't accidentally strike a chord with this guy. He stares you down, and even if you aren't looking back at him, you can still feel the burning of his eyes on the back of your head.

"That's possible."

Oh, it's highly probable. He gets so emotional over the tiniest bit of anything, so...He just doesn't need too many words to evoke a reaction...It checks out because you also like to write a straight-to-the-point sorta piece.

"but don't let your mind wander for...huff...too long...my superstar...you've got at least 90+ pages to go~"

Shit, he was right...time to get back to work.

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weenwrites · 1 year ago

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Cooking A Meal: Part 2

Summary - You ask one of the cons to cook you a meal, but honestly it goes about as well as you'd expect. Characters - Megatron, Shockwave, Starscream, Soundwave, Dreadwing, Knockout, Breakdown, Airachnid, Predaking, Darksteel, Skylynx Content - Crack Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: This is an un-revised shitpost, not something too serious.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Megatron

Don't even bother having him try to cook you something, he can't cook at all. More often than not he'll just send some vehicon off to fetch you a meal, but when he's actually put in a kitchen and told to cook a meal, he'll probably serve you a plate of charred... Stuff.

It reeks and honestly you can't even tell what it used to be. The most he knows about cooking is that humans always heat up their food. He doesn't know how cooked a piece of meat or a slice of bread has to be, and despite knowing how useful patience is, he can't bring himself to wait a couple minutes for a slice of bread to turn golden brown.

Even with some instructions he doesn't understand a single word on that page. What does "fold in the cheese" even mean?! All in all, the food tastes awful, the presentation is awful, and it's not even a nice experience, he somewhat cleans his mess, but still, it's an awful experience. Even your local fast food restaurant would serve something better than what he could make you.

Shockwave

He wouldn't be too bad at cooking... However the meal he's served you is most likely made from some artificial substitute... It's not bad, per say, and it has a higher nutritional value than everything in your kitchen combined, but... He didn't stand in a kitchen to make it, he stood in a lab and fabricated it. That aside, it's plain and has a bit of a weird taste, the presentation sucks, and it's not naturally made, it was fabricated in a laboratory. It counts as science. Not cooking. So nevermind, he'd be bad at cooking.

But if he were to cook, he'd get into the technicalities of all, and spout food science facts at you. He'd tell you all about how proteins in meat force out moisture through coagulation, and that's how meat cooks. Or how amino acids and simple sugars are rearranged to change the color of meat as it cooks. Unless you know about food science yourself, all it may sound like some scientific garble to you. Whether you implore him to continue or not is all up to you.

But just because he knows about the chemical composition of a cracker doesn't mean he knows how to make things taste good. He chooses things based on their nutritional value, not their taste. Everything from meal portions, to seasonings, to even the temperature it was cooked at is all carefully measured to ensure that you're getting your healthy fill of nutrients. He doesn't even allow you to season it afterwards, because any more seasoning would disturb the healthy balance.

Still, while it may be nutritious, it certainly isn't delicious, but at least it's 100% edible and extremely healthy.

Starscream

He didn't know humans cooked their food, he thought they just ate it as is. So you'll have to explain a lot of stuff to him before either of you actually get anywhere. But once he gets the basics down, he'll be off to a rough, yet good start!

He's very particular about the way things are organized in a kitchen, and he'll get real annoyed if you moved something like a spatula or a spoon he was using. He's sorta set up this organization system in the kitchen that works specifically for him and no one else. While it may look like a mess on the outside, it works really well for him.

He'd never touch raw meat, even if it were to cook for you. He just hates the feeling, so you'd basically have no luck at getting him to scrub a chicken down with salt and seasoning unless you gave him a pair of gloves or a brush. But even if he's a bit squeamish, he's very thorough with his work, and very patient too. But he does complain about how long it takes for things to prepare things and then cook.

Might be a bit burnt here, and a bit bland over there, but if you pick some parts out and sprinkle some salt, pepper, spice, or hot sauce on it, it makes for a solid-ish meal! Which is pretty impressive, given the fact he once knew nothing about cooking a few hours ago.

Soundwave

They're actually a really good chef, better than everyone else, that's for sure. Soundwave knows where and how to learn what he needs to know, so it wouldn't take long for him to research and grasp the bare bones of cooking. And after a couple of tries, they could definitely whip you up a 5 star meal that tastes like something the best chef in the world would make.

It's almost scary how fast he learns, but hey at least you're getting like one of the best meals in the world using cheap ingredients from your fridge. Like who knew ketchup could taste so good in place of fancy marinara sauce!

And because of the amazing meal he made, it's without a doubt that he is the undisputed best chef aboard the Nemesis and everybody else's skills immediately pale in comparison. If it were a competition, it would've been over the moment they joined.

Dreadwing

Like almost everyone on this list, he has no idea what to do, and he has no idea what humans eat, so it ends up being a bit of a lecture before he actually starts cooking. It might take him a bit, and he'll stumble here and there, but he's always quick to ask good questions to ensure he has a solid grasp on what he needs to do.

He's quick to pick up anything you teach him, like about cutting vegetables, or seasoning meals, temperature, et cetera. And in a while, he's able to follow a recipe rather well, only occasionally coming to you to ask a question about what "folding" or "basting" or "al dente" means.

He'd serve you a pretty solid meal all in all. But on the off-chance that what he made for you had caused you to get sick, he'd immediately and sincerely apologize to you, and most likely never make you a meal ever again.

Knockout

He has some knowledge around human cooking thanks to the internet, and it helps the slightest bit, but for the most part he'll be bugging you with all his questions about human cuisine and cooking.

And all the while he's cooking, he'll ask you to fetch him things like that kitchen knife over there, or that measuring cup—no, not that one. That one was used for wet ingredients, he needs the other one that was used for dry ingredients, now chop chop. The clock's ticking. Or he'll holler at you to come and help hold the bowl as he scrapes the mixture into another pan.

Surprisingly, the kitchen actually remains rather nice and orderly throughout it all. He fills your sink with water and just leaves the dirty dishes in there to soak, and cleans messes the instant they're made, which greatly helps with clean-up afterward! But he won't touch the dishes. He just hates the feeling of scrubbing grimy food off, so you're on your own unless you give him a pair of gloves.

But as for the food itself? It's... Semi-decent! He may have burned it a little, or messed up one of the steps, but it still tastes good and it's still edible. He even decorates it nicely! He'd chop any vegetables into cute little shapes, and he has a good eye for presentation. So it's pretty nice.

Breakdown

He doesn't know anything about human cooking. He does question where the heck human food comes from though, and the most he knows is that humans consume other organisms, which he finds really weird. So in the beginning, the whole cooking session might be more of an educational session than anything, but only so he understands what humans can eat and what he should be doing.

He technically doesn't do any cooking since he just makes you things like instant noodles or instant mac n' cheese. But he'll need a bit of supervising because with the noodles, he'll put the seasoning packet in the water while the noodles are cooking, and then drain the noodles because he thought that the noodles would absorb the flavor (same goes for the mac n' cheese), but it turns out that the cheese water just goes down the drain. So it technically isn't completely his fault that the food may taste off (because instant food doesn't always taste that good...) but he does mess some of the steps up which contributes to that.

But with a little guidance here, and a little trial and error there, he'll actually be able to whip up something pretty decent using the instant stuff as a base! He'll add things like chopped up vegetables or spice for some flavor in some instant ramen, or cook the macaroni in milk and add some mustard for mac n' cheese, or perhaps crack an egg and add some garlic into some insta-soup.

All in all, it's a pretty solid meal for his first time cooking. But does it really technically count as cooking if he used an already pre-made thing to make it?

Airachnid

If she didn't care about you as much as she does, she would've fed you something poisonous if she didn't ignore your request first. She's... A questionable cook... To say the least, but one thing's for sure, all the meat she uses in her cooking is fresh. And I mean fresh as in "she dragged that animal into the kitchen and slaughtered it on the spot" kind of fresh, which is ideal if you're eating something that requires super fresh meat like oysters.

She doesn't burn the food, but she most likely under-cooks it. As for seasoning, well, she doesn't add any, so whatever you're eating will need a whole lot of salt, pepper, and spices either to taste like something, or to distract from the horrible taste the food already has.

But while the food may taste weird, the presentation's interesting. It's something of an art, made from something you don't even think you can call "food" anymore, but it's interesting to look at.

All in all, the food tastes horrible, the presentation's neat, and you're 100% guaranteed to get food poisoning if you scarf the entire meal down (which you won't, the stench is bad enough to kill even flies).

Predaking

He can't cook at all—actually, he doesn't even know what humans eat, so you'll have to explain to him quite a lot. Even then, he'll probably just bring you a dead animal and assume that's enough. You'll actually have to lecture him on cooking meat, preparing ingredients, and whatnot. So this whole thing turns into a cooking lesson as opposed to doing actual cooking.

He soaks all that knowledge up like a sponge, and with his newfound knowledge of cooking he's able to make something relatively decent for you, if not leaning more towards mediocre! The meal is something simple, probably from a cookbook you have at your house (or on the internet...)

All in all, while it's below average, it's probably above-par by your standards, given the fact you just taught him how to cook a hot second ago. The presentation is simple, the food actually tastes good, so all in all it's a pretty average meal.

Darksteel

Surprise, surprise! He is the worst cook out of them all. And here you might have thought that Predaking or Airachnid would've been the worst, but nope. It's him. He'd most likely burn your kitchen down, if not trash everything you have, and waste everything you have in your fridge. The best he does is bring you a dead animal that he "cooked" by spewing fire at it. Then again it's most likely either overcooked or undercooked and would definitely give you trichinellosis, E. coli, BSE, salmonella, or whatever other horrible disease you risk contracting by eating what he's served you.

But what about vegetables? He doesn't even know what a vegetable is, and unless you give him a really thorough description of what counts as a vegetable or not, he'd most likely just uproot a tree or pluck a bush out from the ground and give it to you, mildly scorched, because he remembered that you have to cook it.

If you were to ask him about presentation, he'd probably pose the scorched cattle or chicken he got his claws on, set the crisp "vegetables" upright, and think that's good enough "presentation".

Bottom line? Do not eat anything he gives you, it'll absolutely destroy your stomach.

Skylynx

Yeah he doesn't want to. He'd hate cooking so much because everything takes so long to do! He's sensible enough to do some research and learn, or ask you questions for clarification, but waiting for water to boil just drives him crazy.

He tries to work diligently and be patient, but you might catch him cutting corners a little bit. How so? Well, he'd raise the temperature of the stove to get something to cook faster, or if he needs to carefully ground something into a poultice, he'll just smush it into paste. If you're having something simple like mashed potatoes, then he has absolutely no problem preparing that.

He doesn't pay much attention to how it looks, so while the food he serves looks unappetizing as he straight up slaps it onto your plate, it actually tastes pretty decent... Ish... Decent-ish. Sure your food may have come out a bit burnt, or you might find some weird chunks in it, but it's better than what Darksteel has to offer, that's for sure.

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nomsfaultau · 5 months ago

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(Potentially) Daily ask №

PS. Potentially cause I probably won't stick to it

So, I was sitting on a lesson and then I realised that you allowed me to send you asks so I wrote out whatever questions came to my mind about Fault.

Wilbur edition!

His legs rearrange to be the highest individual in the room, yes? Is the hair or hats included in that? What if I wear an absurdly tall hat? Will he be taller than it or than my actual height?

He controls darkness or is darkness what I got out from your shitposts. What if I shine a really bright light on him. Okay but what if I go brighter. Or even brighter.

Do only his legs rearrange themselves to be taller? Does his torso stay the same? Does he occasionally look like a beginner artist who hasn't gotten the hand of proportions yet drew him?

If there's an illusion but he doesn't know it is one, will he be taller than it?

You said that he controls the darkness and all things that crawl in it. Moles technically crawl in the darkness. Can he control them? Mole pet when?

Would he and Nico di Angelo from Percy Jackson and the Olympus get along?

I've noticed that he doesn't get as much content as the other blorbos? Is there a reason?

The "Foreign no matter where he goes" post made me sad. The guy deserves a home even if his literal being won't allow it apparently. Can I hug him and how likely am I to die if I do that? Spontaneously hugging and asking first both possibilities included pls ^^

Okay that's all beeyeee

I am enthused to answer any questions and absolutely no pressure at all to ask them!

It goes to biological height not clothing, so a hat or stilts wouldn’t change his assorted height. Although doesn’t tend to count hair. It typically works mostly on humanoids who have matter but he can will it work on say The Blade, who at some point jokes that Wilbur’s height does not take into account his crown of bone-antler things. At which point yes it does screw you and it always has, mildly rewriting everyone’s memory of how tall Wilbur is. It’s a very mild and mostly useless form of magically controlled information.

He has a void on the left side of his face where shadowy eldritch monstrosities come out of. Wilbur can’t entirely control them especially when scared, but can give orders that may be followed or bargains that have to be followed but cost him something. They deffo get worse at night, and you’re on the money! The voidlings despise concentrated light. They do fine in normal light conditions, but flashlights and spotlights they don’t appreciate and will avoid, usually by fleeing into Wilbur’s face or risk dissolving. Wilbur himself is not harmed since he’s made out of flesh and bone (and arguably accurate organ arrangements). Hence the Foundation trapping it in very bright light 24/7. Godflame, which is what Philza is made of, is so anathema to the void that if it intersects with void shadow they both annihilate one another bc it’s a universal paradox to be in one place. Wilbur despises flashbangs in particular, but also doesn’t like complete darkness bc it can’t trust the void completely.

His proportions do not change at all! Which can look very silly. This is roughly its proportions when taller than The Blade.

(From casefiles again)

4. The height thing is not very controlled by him and would not work on an illusion. At which point Wilbur would like deduce the creature before him isn’t made out of matter.

5. It has some degree of control over shall we say capital Darkness that specifically comes from the void in his head and that are still connected by shadowy tethers to the void. Wilbur could potentially try to?? Manipulate the mole??? It would difficult as they don’t have a very robust language system but they are eusocial so I assume they have some level of communication. Since Wilbur can speak all languages it could potentially have rudimentary communication with the mole..? Honestly he’s more likely to eat it than keep it as a pet alas. He’s rather pragmatic, and feeding something that serves no purpose doesn’t make sense to a guy who’s spent most of his life on the verge of starving. Uh. Tommy excluded of course. 6. Well they’re both certainly edgy shadow guys for sure. Wilbur at least wouldn’t be racist to him once he realizes Nico is only half human. Potentially bonding over wrestling with powers, and not feeling like they fit in anywhere. Wilbur would probably think him stupid and gullible for falling for Minos’ manipulations tho, and wouldn’t cut him any slack for being young. 7. My focus on each of them sorta shifts around. I’m a bit on the Tubbo area atm though it’s about to transition to be more The Blade heavy. The first arc of section 2 was rather more Wilbur centric, with him on his own trying to defend the ‘kids’ and making some bad decisions in the process via deals with the devil. There’s lots of fun to be had with it in the future, particularly in section ~4 but also five main characters is a bit of a juggle sometimes. And also while SCP Wilbur feels distinct to me from the actual guy, it’s still sometimes hard to work with him because of his progenitor since I want the character to be fully unbiased when I’m writing it. 8. Part of Wilbur’s arc is to stop pretending it prefers life on the run and really does want a home. Not that living in a society is really possible, but it’s not called found family for nothing! It’ll have to be something made. And Wilbur is of a personal philosophy where he doesn’t kill anyone unless he thinks they’re about to kill him. Very golden rule, if often very vicious bc it doesn’t control the void completely. So, you’re very unlikely to die from a hug! If given a spontaneous embrace it’d probably be a little startled, but try to keep it brief since it doesn’t pass for human under close inspection and would prefer to avoid anything that could mean the Foundation finding it. If asked, he’ll probably calculate the risk of discovery versus social friction leading to greater attention, and accept the hug for appeasement. Since Wilbur really mostly hugs Phil, he’d likely find it surprisingly cold, and be perhaps too affectionate since he doesn’t know the typical level of affection for an embrace between strangers. It would probably be trying to gauge what gambit is being used by you, since it isn’t familiar/trustful of kindness from strangers. Suave and flippant on the surface, but mentally running around in circles trying to figure out what your angle is. Wilbur likes to pretend he’s always on top of things, but a combination of poor memory and lack of socialization mean he’s usually scrambling to figure out what’s happening lmao.

#Clever sure but its spotty background mean it’s just as prone to being ridiculous as the rest #Scp wilbur #noms wilbur #Sbi scp au #fault au #sbi #sleep bois inc #dark sbi #Dsmp #mcyt #mcytblr #Always a delight to see you in my inbox #something to nom on #Wilbur soot #i I guess since I mentioned cc

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misteria247 · 1 year ago

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I've got a feeling that I should come up with a name for the Welcome Home Muppet concept I've got going on since it could technically be an au?? Like I've done two shitposts on it and made two concepts in writing form to some extent so that's like gotta count for something.......

However it's also me just kinda rambling like I've got nothing better to do. But it's getting to a point where I'm like talking about it. Like legitimately putting thought and effort into it kinda rambling.

Hmmm.........

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lamonnaie · 4 months ago

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thanks for the tag @sollucets i loved reading ur answers !!! 🫶🫶 i've been a little ia lately + busy with irl things but i'm slowly trying to work through the backlog of tag games 😅

1. why did you choose your url?

it's from the french words "la monnaie," which basically means small change. i found the word amusing when i first learnt it a while ago and i've been using it as a username practically everywhere ever since :]

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them

technically no? i set up the ao3 feed for the dangerous romance tag on a sideblog pretty much just for my own convenience, but that doesn't rlly count lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i've been lurking on tumblr since ~2015, when you could actually use the website pretty functionally even without an account, but i only made this account in 2020.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i do! it's just "q" (although it's empty right now because i haven't been on much 😩😩)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i finally made a tumblr account after 5 yrs of lurking because of this one niche movie that had somewhat of a fandom on here and i wanted to interact lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

because fairy lights !! they're pretty :))

(i use this icon everywhere as well as my url, i think i've only ever changed it once on here)

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to go back and check my blog because i genuinely didn't remember what my header was 😭😭 but it's just a cute gif off of google that i picked coz i liked it :)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

apparently this post about akkayan and raysand??? guess that answers the shitposts question as well LMAO

9. how many mutuals do you have?

quite a few !! is there any way of actually finding out the number? i have no clue, but if someone follows me i tend to check out their blog and if we have similar interests i'll follow back :] that being said, probably around 30-ish who i've actually interacted with beyond mutual liking and rbing hehe

10. how many followers do you have?

382!

11. how many people do you follow?

486 - definitely need to do a clean out tho because i follow a lot of random blogs from interests long gone by

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yes lol

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

it depends honestly, sometimes several times a day for several hours (😭), other times i'll go a day or two without opening it <//3

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog?

nah, if i don't agree with something i'll just unfollow and/or block

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

very unnecessary, i get that there's good intention behind it but it's honestly just annoying to see and will actively make me not reblog it 😭 (or at the very least i'll go back and rb a version without the addition)

16. do you like tag games?

HELL YEAH, i love yapping about things 🥰🥰

17. do you like ask games?

yesss they're so much fun !!!! (that being said, my askbox is so wonky that it never saves my posts as i'm writing and then it'll randomly crash and i just the ask altogether????)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

hmm i have no concept of tumblr famousness but just looking through my moots there's quite a few who i feel are pretty well known???

that being said, gonna give a shoutout to dee @distant-screaming who is the most famous person ever to me because i love love love their fics so much 😭😭😭 like have i ever fully watched nlmg? nope. do i still constantly go back and read her palmnueng fics? absolutely.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no i wouldn't say so :) i admire a lot of people on here and i love all my mutuals <33 (but in a platonic way hehe)

20. tags?

i feel like people have done this already (so no pressure + pls tag me in ur post if u've already done it !!) but tagging @dramalets @distant-screaming @winnysatang @hellswolfie @blackstar-gazer <33

#thanks for the tag this was a fun break :)#tag games

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cadmusfly · 11 months ago

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1, 3, 13!

Fanfic Asks for the New Year!

(1.) Do you have a word-count goal for the upcoming year?

Absolutely not lol, I mean it’d be nice to get back into writing and finishing a long form original novel piece at some point (brain stalled with SbS but I guess technically with 60k words done it could count as one novel out of three maaaybe) and I’d ideally like to cultivate a consistent writing habit that’s daily or weekly but I am not good at discipline or habits

And also I’m not feeling long form multichaptered pieces right now, but I want to feel it again and I am afraid the only way to feel it is to force it and I am lazy right now after graduating for the second time in my life

(3.) Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

Not really because in relative terms I’ve only recently started really writing for the 26 Eight-Year-Olds Napoleon’s Marshalate fandom, (very proud of my last fic which is Peak Cad Weird Poetic Rambling) because only small obscure fandoms tickle my brain and long dead French generals have hijacked my brain with all their drama, tragedy and comedy. Why did nobody tell me before now that dead Frenchmen were so entertaining and catty bitches to each other

(13.) Aside from fanfic, are there any other fan works you’d like to try creating? Fanart, or fanvids, gifsets, or podfic?

Having made the ambitious shitpost of the tag yourself with 26 drawings of dead Frenchmen - because I thought it would be funnier with my shitty drawings

I have an extremely silly thing I’ve been digitally drawing that I’ll post in the next few days, maybe even tomorrow

Here’s

Here’s a sneak peak.

I do generate a bunch of fun surreal weird AI stuff with the dead Frenchmen as inspiration as well, I don’t really post them out of anxiety, but they’re meaningful to me personally and I enjoy the process of creating these works as much as I enjoy writing and drawing - and it is an extended process because I want very specific things dammit, oh man I need to jump back into photoshop to edit and implement ideas before I lose access to it forever

Oh yeah! The other big fannish thing I do! Painting tiny men! I am going to order more tiny men and paint them oh man I want to order this and recreate this painting but tiny and on my desk and maybe on my cat

Probably the big reason I’ve been writing a tiny bit more is because I’m away from home temporarily and thus away from my paints and tiny men and I can’t just default to painting tiny men all the time and honestly painting tiny men has taken over my life a bit I love them so much and I want to get someone I know to take Good Quality Photos of them

Anyway thank you for the asks!

#cad answers an ask #cadmus rambles #cad talks about fanfic

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mysterypond · 1 year ago

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Going through and choosing my favorite fics for that ask meme made me think of what I would put as my least favorite fics…

This isn’t a self depreciation thing more of a reflection, which for me is easy because 1) I haven’t written hxh in like half a year and 2) I have 69 fics to choose from. So. Would not particularly reccomend doing this if you don’t have a whole library of fics to choose from.

Anyhow, I won’t be counting any crack/shitpost fic because I want to focus on what makes a fic one of my “least favorites” in my eyes, which I would boil down to a botched execution. A lot of the fics I dislike of mine had ideas I was really passionate about, but somehow I didn’t end up writing them in a way that really pleased me. This could be for a variety of reasons, be it issues with tone and pacing, to a lack of technical skill at the time, to getting my themes and messages mixed up. Absolutely no shade to anyone if you like these fics, I don’t doubt people do as some have the stats to prove it. This is just my reflection of author intent vs what actually comes across in the fic.

So read on if you’re curious, if not, well, it can remain a mystery.

5. Ging x Gets x Cucked - honestly this one doesn’t truly deserve to be on the list it’s just a bit… dated lmao, I feel like my sense of humor has evolved from here so reading this makes me cringe at some of the jokes I put in there. But the real reason I’m adding it here is because I think it could have been an interesting concept had I not committed solely to the humor aspect of it.

4. I, Scream - This was during my experimental phase pt. 2 and this phase was significantly less appreciated than phase 1 (2021) and I think it was because I tried a lot weirder stuff with my writing in 2022, especially with the AITAs and short shitpost fics. This fic is the tail end of the surrealist era of fics I wrote, and it quite frankly is just not good. I don’t know how I would improve it, but essentially the gag is that there is green bean ice cream and Beans is nowhere to be found, prompting the reader to assume Beans is going to be eaten, which in turn it’s revealed Beans himself is eating the ice cream. Cannibalism? Not to mention, the fic itself is a poem with a bizarre line structure, making it hard to read. While everything I did with this was a very purposeful delivery I feel like it’s lacking that “so what” of “why should I care about this?” Like sure, I can write something like this with my technical skill but emotionally it really falls flat.

3. between me and you (and everyone I've spilled my heart to) - I took the idea of “what if a drunken confession didn’t lead to a love confession, but was a confession of some sort of crime” and then did absolutely nothing interesting with it, nor were the relationships portrayed here particularly done in an enticing way. I don’t have much to say about this fic because I didn’t have as high expectations for it as I did some of the others.

2. Snapdragon - fun fact I deleted chapter 3 and reposted it randomly, no idea who remembers the first version of chapter 3 because I sure don’t! What I was going for with this fic was a love tragedy of many angles. What I got was… boring. The fic was supposed to tug on the heart strings, but I find it merely grazes them. I think part of it was the format I chose, focusing on 4 different narrators to give perspective to the situation when two of them really didn’t add much to the story. I like poly!zodiacs, and I feel I didn’t lean into that enough to really justify cheadle and mizai being there. They feel… Kind of thrown in. Anyhow, I fell out of love with this fic by the time I finished my 2nd chapter, so I suspect that’s why 3 and 4 were so hard for me to write. The spark was gone.

1. Judgement x Day - In the defense of this fic, I will say that the concept is still interesting to me: If Killua had to force a choice to save Alluka or Gon, who would he pick? - Which then translates into a moral dilemma. The fic idea came to me when I was watching a Voyager episode “Tuvix”, basically a plot where 2 crew members get into a transporter episode and fuse into one person, who exists for a few weeks before Captain Janeway essentially orders the doctor to split him back into Tuvok and Neelix, thus killing him. My irl friends and I talked about this episode a lot, and I thought I could write something that took a similar concept and did it better. I was wrong. I think the fic itself would have been better with much more nuance to it, but it ends up feeling so flat and as if Killua’s decision is less of a dramatic tragedy and more of a plot point. It just doesn’t feel human enough. It’s sad without enough breathing room to really care about what’s going on, if I had to write it all again I’d change the tone to make it more bittersweet and less “sad”. Anyhow, this is actually the fic I’ve gotten the most negative comments on! I actually temporarily turned commenting off because of this, but it’s back on and all the bad ones have been purged. I’ve thought about deleting the fic, letting it fade into obscurity, but I feel like I should keep it up.

Anyhow, again don’t worry if you like any of these fics! I think if I wasn’t the writer and didn’t know what I was going for I might enjoy a few of these, however this is more my thought process for why I’m not satisfied with any of them. Hope it was interesting to read at least :3

#wil x wil #writing x writing

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synthapostate · 2 years ago

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WIP List

For my own reference, but if anyone's interested in what I'm working on, here it is. The list just keeps growing.

Resist Psychic Death - Possessed Newt. (The thing I'll only look at when I'm already feeling miserable.)

Equal Temperament - A deep dive into my music theory special interest, technically includes sex on a piano. (Scrapped.)

Sweater Curse - A Secular Christmas story (sort of). (Final chapter almost complete.)

Add It Up - Hermann doesn't like parties, Newt says he's too boring to go to one anyway, a bet ensues. (Complete.)

Accidental (needs a real title) - Newt makes a terrible mistake. (A comedy.) (Halfway complete.)

For Alien Syne - Five times Hermann Gottlieb got drunk and needed to hug the stuffing out of that infuriating little man. (Complete but not ready to post.) (I can't count. 5/6 complete.)

Smut (it's not smut) - The morning after their first time. (Partially complete but maybe scrapped? Best concepts used elsewhere.) Turns out it's smut. (Partially complete.)

Like Cats and Dogs - Domesticity and possible pet adoption. Angst. Turns out it's smut.

The Tropes Nobody Asked For - A bodyswap AU. Comedy. Hurt/comfort?

I could be writing sweaty nerd sex like a normal person but no - Mostly a story about self-image. Angst. Fluff.

More tropes nobody asked for - A time travel AU. Drama. Comedy.

Decontamination Shower - A lab accident makes things weird. (One paragraph written but I'm not sure where I was going with this.)

Fear of Flying - A deep dive into my aerospace engineering special interest, technically includes a lot of hand-holding. (This one's really taking off.)

Heating Pad - A cat adopts Hermann. (Concept stage.)

Expectation vs. Reality - My take on their first meeting. (Complete but needs another pass to make Hermann more of a dick.)

Hermann's Ex - Newt meets Hermann's siblings and Learns Things he never knew before. (Complete but the last chapter really went off the rails.)

Thriller - The Shatterdome is kind of spooky at night. (Concept stage.)

There Was Only One Bed - We like tropes here. (This was supposed to be a trope subversion but I forgot where it was going, so I guess it's just the trope now.)

Miserable, Lonely and Depressed (Pathetic) - The return of Cool Uncle Newt. (He's not cool, he's possessed.)

Vampire AU - I mean obviously I had to write a vampire AU at some point. (Comedy.)

Whump - Was supposed to be about a car accident, but it turned into emotional hurt/comfort.

Some Days You Just Can't Get Rid of a Bomb - Newt tries to solve capitalism.

Retail Horror Stories - Newt and Hermann commiserate over the shitty jobs they worked when they were younger.

Ghost Story - Comedy, it was SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY Death of a major character.

Nightmares - Ghost drift bleeds into their dreams.

Cold as Ice - Hurt/Comfort?

Newt's Passion - A sex pollen fic. (No, it isn't.)

Other, Funnier Ghost Story - Will it be a comedy this time? Let's find out.

Fever All Through the Night - Sick fic. All comfort.

Consent is Sexy - No additional text. WHAT WAS THIS?

Always On My Mind - Hermann overthinks everything. A story of missed connections.

High School Reunion - Newt is desperate to impress his old classmates. Good thing he has this amazing new husband to show off. (A comedy.)

Dinner With a Friend - Oh NO I DON'T WANT THIS. (Hermann accepts Newt's offer to meet Alice, and I lie awake at night trying to think of a way to get him out of it.)

Alternate PR2 - The biggest shitpost I've ever made. IT'S SO ANGSTY WHAT HAVE I DONE.

#fic

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hotmessquiz · 2 years ago

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This is a space for notes, random bits of trivia I come across but can't really work into a game, and actual episodes of this when I start making them (they're wiring my place for fiber tomorrow).

I've been working in OBS, Photoshop, InDesign, and Scratch to make this. I intend on sharing everything I make for this with anyone who has an interest in That Kind of Thing.

I admit it is, and has been, a lot of work for what is essentially a fan letter to a television genre, but as somebody who counts himself as a student of the Fred Rogers school of production, it is better to make the kind of content you want to see out there than it is to complain about what there is now. Not that I have complaints, I just love rubbing that statement in the faces of boomers in a tizzy because The Price is Right has gone woke with adding male models or some other horseshit.

I am making this knowing fully well this could be a disaster, but it's the kind of disasters that can be improved on. I think about a lot of the Tumblr quotes that have stuck with me: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly," "technically speaking, the Wright Brothers built the worst airplane ever flown," and the entire shitposting ethos from here, Weird Twitter, and other communities, and this is just as much me trying to put those ideas into action.

And for reasons owing to the fact that I haven't figured out how to remove a picture accidentally uploaded, have a cartoon of a sloth with a cup of coffee:

#game shows #content creation #OBS #tumblr memes #memes #shitpost #game show

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yandere-daydreams · 3 years ago

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Not-So-Scary Moments With The Yan. Genshin Boys.

Characters: Childe, Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, Scaramouche, and Ayato.

Word Count: 3.1k.

TW: Borderline Shitposting, Imprisonment, Unhealthy Relationships, Mentions of Physical Emotional Abuse, and Slight Codependency.

Childe

“Ajax?”

He stalled in the doorway. “What is it, angelface?”

“I just wanted to ask…” You trailed off, fishing the empty glass vial out of your pocket. “Do you know what happened to my perfume?”

Childe turned away pointedly, dropping his eyes to the floor. Despite the dark sky, despite the raging snowstorm that’d only just let-up, he was fully dressed, his attention currently focused on his boots. “Nope. No idea. What’s perfume? Some new trend in Liyue?”

You hummed, leaning against the nearest wall. “I guess you won’t mind telling me where you’re going, then.”

“Oh, it’s uh— a mission! A big, secret mission, from the Tsaritsa herself.” He was a terrible liar, especially to you. His voice shook, he stumbled over his words, and his expression gave it all away – distracted, distant, vaguely pained in a way he couldn’t quite hide with a tense smile and a stilted laugh. “The messenger just left; you must’ve missed him. It’s very, very important, and very covert, so don’t ask me anything about it.”

“The Tsaritsa assigned you a mission personally? Out of all her harbingers, she came to you?”

“What can I say? She picks favorites.”

“And she sent out a messenger in the middle of the night, during one of the worst snowstorms of the season, to your cabin in the woods, miles out from the nearest village?”

“Happens all the time. You’ll get used to it, in a few months.”

“He came, told you everything you need to know about a mission so important you can’t tell me anything about it, and left while I was in the bath? Three rooms away? Which, by some miracle, was just far away enough for me not to overhear your conversation or notice we had guests at all?” You paused, taking a step closer and crossing your arms. “And none of this has anything to do with the fact that your breath smells like Inazuman Sakura Bloom?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again just as quickly.

“You were taking so long, and you locked the door, and—” He slumped forward, pouting. “It smelled so much like you. I thought I could get away with a sip, but I didn’t realize the bottle would be so small, and I didn’t know when you’d come out, and I knew it’d burn a little but I didn’t think it’d actually hurt that much—”

“Do you want me to walk you to the healer?”

“Yes, please.”

Zhongli

“Dearest.”

No response, predictably.

“My love.”

Silence, utter and complete.

“Darling, light of my life, precious and only gem of my heart,” He sighed, knocking softly. “Please, open the door.”

You didn’t move, doing your best to keep your voice steady, monotone. “Section D, Clause IIII, Item 2.”

There was a moment of quiet, followed by a slow, agitated exhale. “But I am your husband.”

“I am married Morax, Lord of Geo, God of Contracts. I don’t know anyone named ‘Zhongli’.” A useless point of contention, but one that was easy to dig your heels into, to grasp and hold onto and refuse to let go until his annoyance bordered on anger, until you were on the precipice of earning something more dangerous than his irritation. It was petty rebellion, more a reminder of your stubbornness than any meaningful show of defiance, but after spending so long by Morax’s (now Zhongli’s, you supposed) side, you’d learned that nothing frustrated him more than being forced to play by his own rules. “You were the one who insisted that I never share my bed with anyone but my rightful, legal husband. I’m sorry you didn’t take the time to consider the weight of your demands.”

“You’re being—” A low growl, soft and throaty. “You know very well that ‘husband’ is a situational title, and I’d still technically be considered—”

“What's that? Did you die and come back as the God of Technicalities—”

There was a sharp, sudden crack from somewhere above your head – a scaled, taloned fist breaking through solid wood like damp paper. You stepped back, clasping your hands in front of you, preparing to plead innocent, but the harshness of his scowl as he tore down what was left of the ill-fated door stopped you from voicing your naivety.

“I think,” He said, taking you by your robes, his glare only growing more bitter at the sight of your beaming smile. “it’s time that we re-assess the terms of our contract.”

Diluc

A sharp inhale, followed by an airy, hitched sigh. His back arched, briefly, then he bent forward, bracing himself against the mirror, resting his forehead against the glass. He tried to breathe, but it was shallow, hitched, more akin to a gasp than anything else, anything more substantial. He was flushed, his pale skin tinted red, and when he tried to straighten himself, to regain his dignity, he faltered quickly, failed even faster, his knees nearly buckling as he struggled to hold himself up, despite everything.

You loosened your grip on the corset strings. “…are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” He snapped, barely glancing in your direction. “Keep going. I only have a few minutes before I’m supposed to be downstairs.

Right. You could already hear distant voices from the first floor of his mansion, soft music playing just loudly enough to cover the sounds of whispered conversations and aimless footsteps. You weren’t sure what the party was for, or if it was actually a party at all and not a gala or a banquet, but you knew better than to pry for details. Asking would only make you want to go, and that’d only bring on another lecture, another scolding, another day kept at a comfortable distance from every other creature with a pulse, lest you allow yourself to be swept out of his oh-so-suffocating embrace. It was better not to try. It was better not to get your hopes up.

It was better not to wonder why you still had to help him get dressed, despite knowing you wouldn’t be leaving his bedroom for the rest of the night.

Mistaking your silence for confusion, he went on, bracing more of his weight on the mirror as he spoke. “It helps with—” A pained groan as you tugged, followed by a string of muttered curses, each more unbefitting than the last. “Fuck, it helps with back support. Have you ever tried to lift a claymore?”

“Would you ever let me?”

“When Teyvat freezes over, maybe.” One last pull, more forceful than it absolutely had to be, then the final knot, a simple bow just over the small of his back. He took a second to gather himself, to roll his shoulders back, to pull his coat on and check his reflection before starting towards the door, leaving you trying futile to rub the deep, stripped indents out of your palms. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Can I assume you’ll still be here to lend a hand?”

“I’m more than willing to take another stab at choking you half to death, if that’s what you mean.”

“I can only hope you succeed.”

“What?”

Kaeya

He was later than he usually was, tonight.

By the time you head the door to his apartment unlock, it was already well-after midnight, hours past when he said he would return. You were perched on a loveseat, your back against the arm and your attention flickering half-heartedly between the novel in your hands and the window carved into the farthest wall, just big enough to provide a modest view of Mondstadt’s residential district. The streetlamps were just starting to burn out, windows dimming before going completely dark, and if you looked closely enough, if you stared long enough, you could make out figures, knights making their scheduled patrols, drunkards stumbling home from bars and taverns. You could see stray dogs wandering through alleys, hounding shopkeepers for spare scraps, and crystalflies circling lazily around the city’s tallest spires.

You could pretend Kaeya hadn’t already found you, that he wasn’t already stumbling towards you, struggling to keep himself on his feet. It took you a moment to process why his grin was so crooked, his eyes so glazed-over, his laugh so erratic as he tripped and fell to his knees in front of you, his face soon buried in your lap. When you finally reached your realization, it wasn’t a pleasant one.

Oh, Barbatos.

He was drunk.

Again.

And happy about it, too, judging by the way he nuzzled into your thighs, how he chuckled as you placed your book to the side and raked your fingers through his hair, tilting his head back, letting him lean into your palm and remember how to use his tongue. “Pretty baby,” He slurred, an arm wrapping around your calves, forcing himself that much closer to you. “Did you— Do you know that I love you?”

“Of course. You never talk about anything else.”

“And you know that I miss you, whenever I have to leave. You're all I ever think about. I’d open you up and crawl inside you, if I could. Live just underneath your skin, so we’d never have to be apart.”

Grisly, but not unexpected. Intoxication certainly made him more honest, but sobriety had always been something he only grudgingly subjected himself to, and you were no stranger to his visceral declarations. “I’m aware.”

“And?”

You glanced towards him. He was facing you, his expression hopeful, his visible eye bright. “…and?”

“And you love me too, right?”

You could’ve said no. He wouldn’t hurt you for it – he was a lot of things, but he wasn’t sadistic, wasn’t the type to maim what he aimed to covet. He’d be dejected, crestfallen, and he’d spend a few hours locked away with a cheap bottle of wine and only come out when he thought you’d fallen asleep, when he thought he could slip into your bed and hold you close without leaving himself vulnerable, open to attack. He thought he was above you, above your misery, above caring whether or not you returned his feelings, and in his current state, it wouldn’t take much to drag him down, to leave him sobbing in your lap, to prove that you hated him just as much as you'd always claimed to. You could’ve. You wanted to. He would’ve deserved it.

But, you didn’t.

You wouldn’t. Not tonight. Not when it was already so late, and you were already so, so tired.

Idly, you carded your fingers through his hair, raking your nails gently over his scalp. He grinned, in response, drinking in your affection, your gentleness. Acting as if you’d never dream of showing him anything else.

“Right.”

Xiao

“Is it done?”

“No, Xiao.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Xiao.”

“It looks done.”

“Well, it’s not.” The water was still boiling, the ingredients only just beginning to meld together in the pot, but trying to explain that to him was useless, a lecture delivered onto deaf ears. His scowl deepened, but he kept his hands on the countertop, his narrow gaze on to steam rising from the pot. “When was the last time you cooked something?”

“Cooking is a mortal pastime. Such indulgences are unnecessary for Adepti.” You could’ve figured that out on your own. It’d taken you weeks to convince him to add a decent kitchen onto his abode, another month to coax him into bringing you something other than withered flowered and bitter herbs to actually use in that kitchen. Even now, you could tell he was hesitant, reluctant to let you use a knife or let you get too close to the open flame. Honestly, you were surprised he’d kept as much distance as he had, resigned to pressing himself against your side rather than latching onto your waist and peering over your shoulder like some overprotective, hyper-vigilant bird. “Is it supposed to be doing that?”

“How long, Xiao?”

“Several centuries.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, then batted his hand away as he reached for the bubbling water. “Be careful, alright? You might get yourself hurt.”

“You might. I can’t afford to be so fragile.”

“Whatever you say, oh great and mighty Alatus. Just try not to touch anything while it's still hot.” You pulled away, drawing back just far enough to lay your spoon over the rim and kiss his cheek – a small gesture of affection, fleeting and unsubstantial, but enough to keep him content and distracted while you moved to a cabinet along the opposite wall, to your meager supply of spices. He was stubborn, but not impossible, and with enough time, with enough promises and pleas, you could let yourself hope for something more, something less controlled. Fresh vegetables, exotic fruit, smoked meat and prime cuts of fish. A garden, even, if an adeptal realm was capable of that, if his hidden sweet tooth proved to be linked to his sparse sense of generosity—

Metal crashing against tile, water sloshing out and spilling onto the floor. A sharp cry, then a low growl, then your name called out, drawn into something cloying, something apologetic.

If you didn’t throttle him, first.

Scaramouche

“How did you get in here?”

You turned the object over in your hands, touching it with care, but doing what you could to show it as little reverence as you could. A ceramic heart, made of rough clay and painted sloppily, the red already peeling away around the harsh edges. You could remember buying it from a child’s stall in the commercial district, having the agent Scaramouche sent to keep an eye on you pay double the listed price, but you could’ve sworn he’d broken it, crushed it under his heel as soon as he’d found it – or told you he had, at least. You were sure. His threats tended to blend together until you couldn’t remember if you’d be caned or collared for refusing to let him rest his hand on your thigh. He could’ve been talking about something else. He could’ve been lying.

“The door was unlocked.” You brandished the heart, flashing it across his line of sight before returning it to its designated spot on his desk. On his desk, of all places. If you’d found it in the back of his wardrobe or lying on some over-crowded table in a room he didn’t frequent, you would’ve figured that he’d forgotten to get rid of it, set it down somewhere and didn’t deem it worth the effort of destroying. He received guests in his office, spent long hours discussing convoluted plans with minds just as twisted as his. You couldn’t imagine what it would've been like to sit across from the Balladeer, dark and sadistic and feared, and his little clay heart. “I didn’t realize you still had it.”

“My beloved brat isn’t exactly showering me in gifts.” The words were dripping with something vile and sardonic, too cynical not to make you cringe and turn away, eager to look at anything that wasn’t his unabashed sneer. “Is it so strange that I’m willing to take what I can get?”

You didn’t respond, not to that. Anything you might’ve said would only feed into his distorted perspective. “Do you still have the note?”

It’d been short, simple, the ink stolen from his personal collection and scrawled across paper you’d torn out from one of your books. ‘So Scaramouche might finally have a heart’, or something similar enough, a cheap stab at his past and his cruelty. You could’ve tried to be more clever, to come up with something more cutting, but you hadn’t expected it to matter, hadn’t thought you’d ever have to remember it again.

“Of course not. What kind of idiot do you think I am?” Needlessly cruel, but what else had you expected? He’d never been one for flowery language. “I’d be the laughingstock of the Fatui. Your behavior puts my authority in enough peril already.”

“Ah, poor thing. I didn’t realize my imprisonment was so inconvenient for you.”

“Greatly so.” He moved, stepped past you, allowing his fingertips to brush against your arm. You allowed him too, despite your better judgment. “If I had any sense, I would’ve tied you up and thrown you into the deepest trench I could find ages ago.”

“I’ll be glad I caught the eye of such a fool, then.”

“Don’t push your luck.”

Ayato

“I have an assignment for you.”

A gloved hand splayed over your collarbone, your chest, pushing you back, forcing you against the stone wall. He was close, too close, his body pressed against yours, his lips ghosting past your ear as he leaned forward, closing what little space between the two of you might’ve ever existed.

“I’d hate to ask anything of my favorite little assistant, but I’m afraid it’s of dire importance.”

Your eyes darted towards the entrance of the alleyway, towards the people walking past, unaware of what dwelled in the shadows. It was unlike him to try something like this in broad daylight – in the privacy of his chambers, perhaps, or the darkest corners of his estate, but not in public, not somewhere as crowded and as open as a marketplace. He’d never been one to hold his reputation in high regard, but he liked to keep his cards close to his chest, to limit his affection to wistful glances and chaste glances pushed into the backs of hands, nothing so unveiled, nothing so blatant. Nothing so telling, certainly.

“You see, I’m desperately in need of a favor, and I’m afraid you’re the only one I can turn to.” His fingers slipped beneath fabric, his mouth fell to the edge of your jaw, and you felt warm breath fan over your skin, the faintest hint of teeth against flesh. “I’m just not sure if I can turn to anyone else with my burden. You’ve always been so kind, and so patient, and—”

“For the Shogun’s sake, Lord Kamisato,” You cut in, planting your hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. “If there's another salesperson you want me to talk to, all you have to do is ask.”

Immediately, he deflated. “She’s just so—”

“She’s pushy, and you can never turn her down. I’ve seen you speak to her, my lord.”

“And she always asks—”

“She always asks about your day, but you don’t know how to answer, and you’re afraid you’ll start rambling. I’ll take care of it, my lord.”

He fell against you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

“Pray you never have to find out, my lord.”

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smells-like-mettaton · 3 years ago

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Tali’s Alphys-Centric Fic Rec List

I’ve been meaning to make this for a while!! All fics are oneshots unless marked as a series or with a chapter count. Thanks to everyone who recced several of these to me on my 12am begging-for-alphys-fics post dfdksdl. These aren’t in any particular order. The “notes” section is my commentary about each fic. No fics are based on full AUs (ex. underswap, horrortale, etc). The only endgame Alphys ship included is Alphyne, though most of the fics listed are gen. Hope you can find something you enjoy here!

Extra Credit by FriedCatfish

Rating: G // Word count: 1,206 Summary: Undyne loses track of time watching anime. Set before the events of the game. Notes: Cute Alphyne oneshot! Short and sweet, very nice characterization

world comes pouring through by feralpheonix

Rating: G // Word count: 1,655 Summary: Alphys reunites with some old friends on the way home from taking care of business. Notes: 2nd person Alphys pov but it surprisingly works? A small moment with Alphys, Bratty, and Catty, which I literally NEVER see content for so it was really refreshing!! Takes place at/near the end of the pacifist route.

white lies to the dead by MiniNephthys

Rating: T // Word Count: 580 Summary: Alphys walks through Waterfall, talking to someone who's not there. Notes: Queen Alphys ending; Alphys “talks” to Undyne after she’s been killed. Hits me right in all the emotions ;;

Found Soul by LibraLibrary

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,331 Summary: Self-worth is a slippery, fleeting little devil, and the bastard flower that killed you isn't helping. Takes place during the final fight of the True Pacifist run, following Alphys from one purgatory to the next. Notes: Very angsty, definitely make sure you’re ready to handle Alphys’s suicidal thoughts, but a very good read! I love seeing the Lost Soul battle from her POV.

And I Feel Fine by Masu_Trout

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,685 Summary: The fallen human is human is fast approaching The Core, and Mettaton is ready to finally take the stage. Now, if only Alphys would stop worrying so much. Notes: Alphys & Mettaton friendship in the no mercy route, but manages to be surprisingly not depressing. Mettaton POV but definitely still deserves to be here. This fic does a great job of characterizing them both and it’s always great to see Alphys working in her element.

Experimentation by pickledragon

Rating: G // Word Count: 1,531 Summary: Alphys is, above all, a scientist. She may watch anime with religious fervor and make horrible Undernet shitposts in her free time, but she is good at her job. She knows what they say about her, behind her back. But when she stands there, time open before her, she resolves to collect data. Each experiment, intentional or not, brings new opportunities to change certain variables and observe others. Alphys is a scientist, after all. Notes: THIS FIC. it’s technically part of a series but it stands on its own (it’s the only one i’ve read by this author). EXCELLENT alphys characterization and writing style. Some Sans & Alphys friendship too which is always stellar. If you didn’t gather from the summary, it’s an alphys starts to remember resets fic.

Memory by Ash_yeet

Rating: T // Word Count: 19,962 // Chapters: 5/20 Summary: It's been two years since monsterkind have joined the humans on the surface, and Alphys is happier than she's ever been. But things can't stay great forever. She starts having nightmares, lapses in memory, flashbacks to things that have never happened. She hopes it will pass... sans is doing his best to adjust to life. When Alphys reaches out to him about her nightmares, he doesn't expect much. He quickly changes his tune. Someone is trying to come back. And they aren't what they used to be.sans and Alphys are trying to move on. But there's one thing they forgot: No matter how hard you try, you can't run from your past. Notes: I’ve only read chapter one so far, but it’s been really good! Looks like it’s going to involve Gaster in some way. Says it’s on short hiatus but was updated in April so doesn’t look abandoned.

Hot and Cold Blooded (Alphyne series) by perniciousLizard

Rating: varies by fic, usually G but a few T and one E // Word count: 36,516 // Works: 18/18 Summary: This series is a place to put all my Alphys/Undyne stories that aren't part of another series. Notes: this series has something for everyone; you can pick and choose which works to read. Most are feel-good fluff and humor, some hurt/comfort too. Some connect to the author’s Sansby series (which i also can’t recommend enough)

When Life Hands You Enantiomers by Kaesa

Rating: T // Word Count: 2,739 Summary: Alphys has a half-finished tile maze puzzle, reams of useless data, and a bunch of piranhas that can't tell the difference between lemon and orange scent. Sans has donuts. Notes: ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITES. Fun puns, science, alphys & sans friendship, piranhas, the opportunity to actually understand organic chemistry references,, it’s so good and fun

Friendshipping by AyuOhseki

Rating: G // Word Count: 4,564 Summary: Sans finds Alphys's secret Sans/Grillby RPF. This won't get weird or awkward or anything, we're sure. Notes: Hilarious Alphys narration, great characterization, it’s just so silly and warms my heart. I love terrible fanfic writer Alphys

social links by simplycarryon

Rating: G // Word Count: 2,525 Summary: Friendship's pretty neat, or so your video games and anime dictate. But you are not an anime protagonist, and you're not sure you know what friendship is any more. Notes: more solid sans & alphys friendship :D

See You Another Time by decamarks

Rating: T // Word Count: 18,500 // Chapters: 1/14 Summary: “Have you ever thought of a world where everything is exactly the same... Except you don’t exist? Everything functions perfectly without you.” Alphys spent a lot of time thinking about what it’d be like to start over. It wasn’t fair for someone like her to escape consequences. She knew that, yet the thought never left her mind—the thought that maybe, just maybe, she could get another chance; that she could abandon her life, her failures—everything—and start anew. But that would never happen. Sometimes, Alphys wondered. Would the world be better off without her? When unexplainable anomalies appear and begin to warp the world around her, Alphys discovers something she was never meant to know: the identity of the former Royal Scientist, and how he met his demise. Doctor W.D. Gaster vanished without a trace; he was erased from reality after an experiment ended in disgrace. Forgotten by the world, shattered across time and space—it’s like he never existed in the first place.And Alphys can’t imagine a better fate. Notes: This is a monster of a first chapter but definitely worth the read!! So much good stuff happening already. I’m a total wuss but I still love the cosmic/existential horror bits going on so far. Great Sans & alphys friendship and Undyne & alphys friendship so far. All the amalgamates also feel incredibly well written. Can’t wait to see more of this one

(And here are a few of my own Alphys-centric fics as well)

Seventh Time’s the Charm by Taliax

Rating: G // Word Count: 1,519 // Chapters: 1/7 Summary: Six bad "dates" Alphys has been on, plus one that is actually pretty good. Notes: Alphys is my favorite and I love giving her a bad time. First chapter is a “date” she has with Sans. Next chapter which I have in progress is going to be Papyrus. (Alphyne is still endgame of course.) Set mostly before the events tof the game. Get ready for lots of second-hand embarrassment sdlfkjds

Support Character by Taliax

Rating: T // Word Count: 1,814 Summary: If Sans is determined to fight the human, Alphys is going to make sure he's prepared. Notes: Sans & Alphys no mercy route friendship, based on the headcanon that Alphys was the one to give Sans the powers/magic he uses to fight the human.

it's your best life (if it's the life that you're living right now) by Taliax

Rating: T // Word Count: 4,046 Summary: Through messages saved to Sans's phone, Queen Alphys gets a glimpse at lives that might have been. With so many possibilities... how did this timeline go so wrong? Notes: Sans & Alphys friendship, Queen Alphys ending, mostly angst/hurt/comfort. I’m really proud of this one and it uses my main headcanon for how Sans knows about resets.

The Trans-Underground Alphys-Carrying, Match-Making Road Trip by Taliax

Rating: G // Word Count: 5,713 Summary: From her secret security camera, Alphys gets too invested in Sans's relationship with the voice behind the door. This wouldn't be a problem if Mettaton didn't decide to take her ship into his own hands. Trying to catch up with a battery-powered robot is hard work, but telling the truth is even harder. Notes: This is a really silly fic with some hurt/comfort sprinkled in. Has some Soriel and Papyton in the background. Has some Alphys & Papyrus friendship as well which is always underrated in my opinion.

#alphys #fic rec list #tali rambles #safeutdr #undertale #long post

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