#this could have turned out so much better tbh

[lost-romantique]

sorry if this sounds like I'm being petty, but I just had this little discord argument with one of my friends and I just want to hear your thoughts because I drew a blank on how to respond

(Friend's messages)

(My response)

(Friend again)

We just agreed to disagree by this point but I just want to ask what you think about all of this and sorry if I'm bothering you, I just really hate that 'Blitz is terrible' comment tbh

If it makes you feel better, I also disagree with your friend.

I don't see in what way Blitzø’s apology to Fizz was manipulative, actually I don't see how Blitz is manipulative at all, when I feel like he takes the blame for everything. Especially regarding the fire.

The only comfort Blitz allowed himself in that apology was, that comment about his mom, and Blitz has a right to make that comment. He also lost something in that fire.

It's true, I don't think Blitz understands the full extent of trauma Fizz went through. I personally think that if Blitz knew, he'd probably shoot himself.

However, Fizz was able to move on from that trauma, grow, and meet the love of his life... but what about Blitz?

Fizz doesn't understand the pain of having to live with the all consuming guilt of starting that fire.

It's the kind of guilt that consumes you mind, body, and soul.

Everyday of his life, Blitz wakes up every morning knowing he killed his mom, mutilated his best friend, and destroyed the livelihood of his entire circus family. And he reminds himself of that EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

It's the reason why he's so fucked in the head.

It's the reason why he pushes people away.

It's the reason why he hates himself so much.

Blitz punishes himself everyday for starting that fire, and I don't think your friend understands that.

Blitz has major survivors guilt, and I bet he'd rather be the only casualty from that fire if he could turn back time.

~~~

Also...

*cough*

When Blitz and Fizz were hugging, Blitz was uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle it, so that's why he deflected and made that joke about "making out" it's part of his defense mechanism.

Blitz deflects by making jokes, that's all he knows how to do. It's actually a rather common coping mechanism.

It's one of the reasons why GF was a turning point for Blitz because he never once deflected or made jokes or made light of the situation.

He only plays into the joke and replies to it, but not fully because he calls Moxxie, Millie's husband, giving ownership of Moxxie to Millie. He also says "little" making it pretty clear that he doesn't want to downplay his own feelings towards Stolas.

[bite-the-bloody-hand]

Knight Commander Grenzel 'Zell' Hellsing - 10 of Swords

This piece has been so much fun to work on. I've learned a lot of new techniques and rekindled my love of illustration with this; I'm very excited to see where things go from here.

I went back and forth on doing a tarot-inspired portrait for my Knight Commander, partially because I didn't want to lean too hard on my gamer roots as a Dragon Age fan, partially because making a Tarot piece feel like it hit the mark is HARD.

Eventually I decided not to go for any one specific style and just let myself feel things out as I went, playing around with texture and composition until I landed on what looked and felt good.

As such, this turned into more than just a 10 of Swords piece, rather something that represents the full suite of Swords as well as the narrative themes that follow this particular character. Betrayal, Loss, and Anxiety paired with Clarity, Inspiration, and Ambition. Meanwhile, hidden in the background are clusters of six arrowheads representing victory within creative problem-solving. They look something like trees among winding riverbeds or nature trails- a reminder of his nomadic lifestyle and formative times in the River Kingdoms.

The scarlet halo suffused with blue light, and the blue cloth stained with blood, represent the constantly warring nature of his ancestries as a Dhampir and a Celestial. Heaven's light draws him, but also burns him, as represented by Lariel's flaming blade. Desna's butterflies remind his desire for freedom and secretly dreamy, romantic nature.

I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I do! Now to find somewhere I can get this printed onto a blanket or something.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[miraclemioart]

mashing together my two teenage years interests for dopamine

[francy-sketches]

If I'd actually posted all my pjo art when I made it instead of hoarding it like a little goblin for no apparent reason today I might have been known as the octavian guy instead of the joffrey guy...scary thought...

[reel-fear]

Hey if anyone wants to check out Moving Pictures Redrawn [a fan-made remake of the first chapter of BATIM that Mike n Meatly may have ordered to be taken down? It's unsure at the moment] Guess who downloaded a copy before they did that~

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

i just think this cross design looks super cool alright?? >:'D <3333

this human version belongs to @shynetyme06!!!

[cuteniaarts]

Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:

Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough

[wren-kitchens]

yk when you can feel yourself starting to stop caring about stuff you love and you are White Knuckling through it because no I Will still love this so fucking help me

[lususnatura]

🎤 🎤 🎤

a song that i associate with my muse meme!

AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3

hozier - who we are.

icehouse - crazy.

depeche mode - personal jesus.

[camgoloud]

i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

[derpinette]

too many males getting veneers when really they should be investing in hair transplants if anything

[airenyah]

ngl i could see joong turn to directing too some years down the future

[cinnamoncatto]

It's so funny that most if not all of us who as a child was against smoking, drinking, energy drinks etc. at some point in life went like "scratch that, life sucks" and started doing at least one of those things

[aldercaps]

now that i am doing better mentally and its looking like it will just be me and my partners living together next year the dog yearning is back in FULL FORCE

i could get a min pin. give it little jumpers to wear when its cold. could get a jrt/mini fox terrier (we have the australian kind here) and let it do Dog Crimes and varmint hunting. there was a fox terrier/japanese spits cross on trademe the other day that looked JUST like a white buhund and she was perfect in every way. the terrier yearning is SO strong. why can’t manchester terriers be a thing here they are the perfect animals

[burinazar]

hmmmm. brain’s seratonin machine continues to be not very working. aspiring to McDonalds shake machine status. it’s really not good