#this could have been cheng xiaoshi on the first one and qiao ling on the third one but “cheng xiaoshi is the croissant” is funnier
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So Lu Guang is going back in time to try and save Cheng Xiaoshi. Mama Cheng is going back in time to try and save Cheng Weimin. Mama Cheng told Cheng Xiaoshi to stay quiet and so Cheng Xiaoshi probably never told Lu Guang about it. Do we have two time travelers going back to try and save different people and getting in eachother's way? Is that why Lu Guang kept noticing things were different? Are Mama Cheng's actions causing ripple affects that Lu Guang can see?
This first difference was Cheng Xiaoshi not showing Lu Guang the photo right away and that was because the news of the gambling scam being caught interupted them. Liu Xiao exposed them because of, or as a result of, something to do with Cheng Weimin. Was that because Mama Cheng had changed something?
The second difference was the photo of Xia Fei used in the airport, and Liu Xiao showing up. Xia Fei has a connection to Cheng Weimin through the Bahati language school. Although he wasn't one of the kids who died in the fire, nor did he survive it, so where he was at that time is a mystery.
The third difference was them not escaping to the right and instead meeting Vein. Vein, who is looking for something Wang Qing has in her possession. But Wang Qing is working with Mama Cheng so that item might have actually been her's. Plus Wang Qing has her own connection to Cheng Weimin, and she survived the fire that seems to have killed Cheng Weimin. A fire that Mama Cheng, if that was her talking to Cheng Weimin in the fire, suspects was planned.
The more I think about it the more I think that Liu Xiao and Vein aren't after Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi, but instead are after Cheng Xiaoshi's parents and their interest in Cheng Xiaoshi is because of that. Their recruitment of Xia Fei could also be because of his involvement with Cheng Weimin.
Edit: I just wrote this entire thing and posted it and then realized that we did get a family name for Cheng Xiaoshi's mother earlier this season. Qiao Ling called her Auntie Shao, and I've been calling her Mama Cheng this whole time. Oh my goodness.
#link click#shiguang dailiren#link click spoilers#yingdu chapter#link click theories#my post#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#liu xiao#vein#xia fei#wang qing#cheng weimin#mama shao
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"wheres cheng xiaoshi" hes the croissant (insp)
#id in alt text#seagull.mp3#my memes#link click#link click spoilers#ql#ltc#lx#lg#sorry about the lyrics ive seen the trial train mv too many times#this could have been cheng xiaoshi on the first one and qiao ling on the third one but “cheng xiaoshi is the croissant” is funnier#lu guang coded#<- for my blog organization#croissant post
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I have an issue with the fact that Qiao Ling and Xiao Li are dead too. (Long ramble)
For me, this undermines Lu Guang's complexity and motivation. Why? Because they're portraying him as some kind of hero—the great "last hope."
For over a year since the Season 2 finale, we've believed the opposite about Lu Guang. We saw him as hypocritical and deceitful because he was trying to change the past and break a death node—a rule he established and even scolded Cheng Xiaoshi for disobeying. At the end of Season 2, Lu Guang says, "I want to use the last chance to go back to the beginning and save YOU." For so long, it’s been clear that he only cared about saving Cheng Xiaoshi. They've repeatedly emphasized and convinced us through songs and promotional material of this: that his sole focus was Cheng Xiaoshi, and no one else mattered to him.
The fact that Lu Guang prioritized saving Cheng Xiaoshi, despite the potential consequences for others (like the theory that avoiding Cheng Xiaoshi's tragic fate caused the deaths of Li Tianxi, Chen Bin, and Emma), is what made Lu Guang a great character. He wasn’t a typical hero—he was human. He was afraid of loss and suffering, of living without his best friend. This fear consumed him to the point where he never even allowed himself to grieve. Cheng Xiaoshi brought meaning and color to his life, and Lu Guang deemed him the only one worthy of saving because of his good intentions and kind heart.
If they now include Qiao Ling and Xiao Li among those Lu Guang wants to save, it completely changes the essence of his character. It takes away the personal, deeply human motivation that made him so complex and relatable. We could relate to him because, if we were in his position, with the power of going back in time after tragically loosing a loved one, many of us would do the same or at least consider it. And now, instead of Lu Guang being driven by personal loss and denial, he becomes a stereotypical hero trying to save everyone. It’s an absolute cliché that even goes against the main principle of the series back in season 1: "past or future let them be".
Maybe Qiao Ling being dead could make sense, since she’s close to him, but even that feels off. Lu Guang has never shown a strong desire to save her specifically. Besides, it doesn’t align with what we’ve seen: in Lu Guang’s memory, Qiao Ling didn’t see herself die like Cheng Xiaoshi did. Killing her off would also strip away an interesting aspect of her character—her determination to protect her younger brother. In Season 3, she could confront Lu Guang about his actions and actively try to help him. If she’s meant to die too, it reduces her to a damsel in distress, reinforcing the unfortunate tendency of Link Click to mishandle its female characters.
As for Xiao Li, his inclusion feels completely random. He wasn’t close enough to Lu Guang to justify being a major motivation for him. If anything, he would be at the very bottom of Lu Guang’s list of priorities.
Anyway, I’m sorry for the long ramble—I just needed to get this off my chest. I still hope this might be a red herring and that they’re not actually dead yet. Or perhaps they died in the first timeline, but Lu Guang managed to save them while still being unable to save Cheng Xiaoshi, no matter how hard he tried. I don’t know. I’ll trust Link Click and wait to see how they justify or resolve this in a way that makes sense and preserves the characters’ essence.
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It would be easier for Lu Guang to simply swallow it down and bear it. But it wouldn’t be right.
In truth, nothing felt right. Heels of his hands pressed against his swollen, dry eyes, a crick in his neck, his heart trapped in his throat. One side of his head felt like it was being pulverized, the pain of the migraine stirring up trouble in his stomach. And Cheng Xiaoshi’s dulcet tones in his ear, his pleas no longer endearing.
Lu Guang squeezed his eyes shut at Cheng Xiaoshi’s insistence.
“Lu Guang, come on,” he said urgently. “We need to finish this.”
This was a pile of photographs lined up across their coffee table, marked in chronological order, detailing the lifespan of a relationship between two cousins. The boys had grown up together like twins, Qiao Ling had told them when she outlined the case for them, but then grew apart after one of the cousins developed a gambling addiction. The last straw was when he stole money from his cousin’s mother to feed the insatiable beast, and the cousin cut ties.
He suspects that his cousin also stole their grandmother’s jade, Qiao Ling told Lu Guang in preparation for the case. He wants us to help confirm if that’s true, and if so–if he sold it.
Which would have been straightforward enough, if the gambling cousin was still alive. Unfortunately, he wasn’t.
Hence, the ten plus photographs on the living room coffee table.
Lu Guang shifted his hands from his eyes to his temples, giving them a sorry massage that only made him more miserable. He had been poring through photos for hours now, each of them a photo uploaded to the gamblin cousin’s cloud that the client had managed to pull, dating from five years ago–when the grandmother’s jewelry had gone missing–to five months ago, when the cousin had been found dead in his tiny apartment reeking of alcohol and debt. He scoured every interaction the cousin had with their elderly grandmother for any sign of theft, while Cheng Xiaoshi dived into any photo where he could root around the cousin’s apartment for proof.
Even after five hours straight, they could neither confirm nor deny anything. The instant noodles that Qiao Ling had brought over to them had grown cold and untouched on the side. Lu Guang’s scalp scalded with the migraine, and Cheng Xiaoshi stank heavily of eucalyptus oil smeared under his nose to assuage the nausea that came from back-to-back diving. Lu Guang could smell its medicinal chill when Cheng Xiaoshi came too close to his ear.
“Can you please back off?” Lu Guang said through gritted teeth.
Cheng Xiaoshi huffed as he threw himself backwards on the chair. Lu Guang avoided looking anywhere in his direction as he unscrewed a bottle of soy milk to ease his chapped throat. Cheng XIaoshi fared none better, but he had the self-perception of a goldfish to mask it.
“We’re so close, though,” Cheng Xiaoshi said. “There were addresses to jewelry shops on his Baidu Maps search history. If we can find a photo that happened either right before or right after that one, I’m sure I can find more–”
“Cheng Xiaoshi, we’ve been at this for almost six hours,” Lu Guang groaned. “Taking a break for at least thirty minutes won’t make a difference.”
Cheng Xiaoshi huffed until his bangs flopped carelessly across his forehead. Lu Guang wiped his lips with the back of his hand, gagging slightly.
“What if I forget?” said Cheng Xiaoshi.
Lu Guang exhaled deeply, teeth clenched and nostrils flaring so that it came more as the exasperated hiss of a steamer.
“Then write it down, idiot,” he snapped. “Am I your mother?”
Cheng Xiaoshi’s jaw clenched instinctively, just as Lu Guang’s did the same–for a moment, hesitating, ready to bite down on the words before they escaped his mouth. But they had punched their way through his teeth nonetheless, and at the end of the day, Lu Guang would have let them. Even if he knew that, while he never commented on it, it stung Cheng Xiaoshi.
Because Lu Guang had said the same the first time they had this argument.
-
The first time they had this argument, Lu Guang was still only twenty years old. He and Cheng Xiaoshi muddled through their abilities with curiosity and bravado. The only thing Lu Guang was afraid of was drowning, and it was abstract.
The first time, Lu Guang grumbled at Cheng Xiaoshi. I’m tired, asshole, he said. Can’t you give me a break? Cheng Xiaoshi said something tone deaf–but you don’t even have to dive, you can just sit there and tell me what to do, it’s easy for you–and at that, Lu Guang stomped up to the bedroom, muttering it’s useless trying to argue with you to himself as he locked the door behind him. He burrowed himself angrily in the bedsheets and didn’t emerge until Cheng Xiaoshi cooked an entire apology dinner.
I’m sorry, Cheng Xiaoshi said quietly when Lu Guang stuffed his mouths with softened carrots. Do you–do you want to talk about it?
He said it with his back straight, even though his spine was shaking. Arguments rarely ended well in his experience–usually with a fist to the cheek, or a door slammed in his face while all the neighbors looked disapprovingly at him with full assurance that he was in the wrong. For Cheng Xiaoshi to be able to talk to Lu Guang took a bravery and a faith that he had to fight for, that he had to learn with blood, sweat, and tears to get through this life.
Yeah, Lu Guang mumbled. I do, and they had finally laid their abilities on the table next to the pot of pork shoulder soup and small bowls of dipping sauce. This was new to the both of them, their magic of a great price, and they were learning their breaking points together. Lu Guang shared his needs to be met, Cheng Xiaoshi his fears of being of no help to others, opening their hearts to make space to grow, and at the end when Cheng Xiaoshi asked Are we okay now? Lu Guang said, Even better.
So Lu Guang couldn’t grin and bear it, as much as he hated this frustration, this headache, the thought of tossing and turning on the top bunk with a heavy, hurting heart. He and Cheng Xiaoshi needed this moment where they grew so that the other could take up more space in their lives. Cheng Xiaoshi needed to learn that he would be loved even if he was upsetting. Lu Guang needed to learn to be honest. They were precious truths that would have carried them through the rest of their lives, if Cheng Xiaoshi had lived long enough for it.
-
Except this was the second time Lu Guang was having this argument. Everything should be the same, but he wasn’t.
He wasn’t because Cheng Xiaoshi was dead, and yet alive for now. Because Cheng Xiaoshi’s mission-driven stubbornness was what got him killed, and Lu Guang now could see the all bloodred flags leading up to September. Because Lu Guang could now name the anxiety that drove Cheng Xiaoshi into doing things now, before the wait of them consumed him alive, but Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t yet and Lu Guang had to keep it to himself. Because he and Cheng Xiaoshi were plunging into the photos of a dead man over and over again, and every time Cheng Xiaoshi said something honest about it, Lu Guang had to swallow down how sick it made him feel. It’s so messed up, Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi had said, that this guy has been dead for half a year, and I feel his heart beating in my chest. Lu Guang buried his face in his hands and tried not to cry, even when Cheng Xiaoshi was not here to see it.
“Then write it down, idiot,” Lu Guang said, only realising belatedly he never said the last word the first time round. “Am I your mother?”
Cheng Xiaoshi flinched. Lu Guang didn’t remember that. He thought Cheng Xiaoshi only gritted his teeth. There was a gleam in Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes that could either be tears or nausea, but Lu Guang knew better than to point it out. Any time Lu Guang pointed out where Cheng Xiaoshi was falling apart at the seams, he would dismiss them like they meant nothing, like they weren’t the reason Lu Guang couldn’t sleep at night, terrified of morning.
“The hell is wrong with you?” Cheng Xiaoshi muttered.
“I’m tired, asshole!” Lu Guang snapped. He didn’t need a script for this. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt like nothing was ever going to be right, and he didn’t know how to make it better. He didn’t know what to do. “Can’t you give me a break?”
“But you don’t even have to dive!” Cheng Xiaoshi protested. “You can just sit there and tell me what to do, it’s easy for you!”
Was it easy? Was it easy to watch Cheng Xiaoshi throw himself into the past over and over again and shrug off Lu Guang’s concern as unnecessary, until he ended up on the wrong side of the bullet? To try again and again to look for what went wrong in the past, obsessing over each detail and torn butterfly wing until he scrounged for the right answer? To feel old and young at once, helpless and culpable simultaneously? To constantly lie, even though he was supposed to have grown to be honest?
Go upstairs, his memory urged him. Lock the door behind you. Go.
But something fiercer, louder than his memory took hold of him, balling itself into a fiery pit in his throat and scalding its way out of him.
“It’s easy for me?” Lu Guang choked out. “Is it? I’m the one who has to try and figure out how to fix everything! I have to fix everything, and you never think twice!”
Lu Guang felt the tears bully their way to his lashes, no matter how much he tried to fight them back. He stared at Cheng Xiaoshi until his vision blurred with sickness and fury, the boy he was supposed to save and couldn’t help but fail. I don’t know what to do, his soul cried out. I’m the only one who can fix this and I don’t even know what to do.
“Useless!” Lu Guang hurled.
He didn’t know to whom he was shouting it, but he knew as soon as it landed that he aimed it at the wrong place. Cheng Xiaoshi froze, breath stuck midway up his throat, eyes wide as if he had been shot in the stomach, and Lu Guang knew that look too well. He went as still as stone, scarcely breathing as Lu Guang’s voice settled like the remains of an earthquake, leaving behind silent wreckage.
Lu Guang caught up with his breath, dizzy with the catharsis, until its tingling numbness gave way to sudden realization. This was not how any of this was supposed to go.
Cheng Xiaoshi blinked rapidly, looking away–the tightening of his jaw could not mask the way his lips shook.
“Forget it, then,” Cheng Xiaoshi muttered. “Let’s just–yeah. Break. Sounds good.”
He stood up from the seat and left the room quickly, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket. He hurried out the front door of the shop, the twinkling of the door bell the only thing keeping Lu Guang company as he was left behind in the sunroom.
#link click#LC writes#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#in my gdocs this is titled 'LG soiled the friendship garden'
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Saving Lu Guang!!
For obvious reasons, we're all assuming Cheng Xiaoshi is the one who needs to be saved. The final plot twist of season 2 is the main reason:
I'm sorry Cheng Xiaoshi I’ve always been telling you to not change the past but I couldn’t follow my own words. Even if I know death is an unchangeable point, I still want to use the last chance to go back to the beginning, and save you.
But. Lu Guang is the most unreliable character you'd find out there. His version of the story is sometimes inconsistent.
Many details don't add up, might it be the fact he doesn't have his phone with him at a moment as important as closing a trap on Liu Min, or that the scene in the hospital bathroom is different when Cheng Xiaoshi dives as Lu Guang, or the simple obvious impression that it's future Cheng Xiaoshi who's giving him the partner talk on the basketball court--
Well, there might be someone in Lu Guang's corner diving and changing things without him being aware of it. This person being Cheng Xiaoshi himself is most likely.
Now, why would Cheng Xiaoshi dive into the past after all this time when he decided against it after Lu Guang's death? Saving Lu Guang or Qiao Ling is the most realistic and in character reason but there is more to this particular theory today.
Remember, whatever we think, there is more to the story. As omniscient as Lu Guang seems to us at the moment, he, himself, doesn't have all the information.
Past or Future, it has been clear until now that official content is hiding many secrets yet to be uncovered. Dive with me into this madness once more~
This meta is largely inspired by this thread
>> Lu Guang's secret
Let's start with something as basic as characters concept arts. Those always strike me as out of charater, because Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi's personality seems somehow switched: on the character sheets, Cheng Xiaoshi looks pissed and Lu Guang smiles (like a creep).
Two things are worth noticing in this first pack of pictures:
Lu Guang's character sheet looks like a frame if the film roll has been exposed to light while loading in the camera. It is damaged. His smile in the background is also absolutely not his. In the light of Yingdu Chapter's teaser, it could mean Lu Guang is possessed by either Li Tianchen or Vein. Not only that but the surexposition makes it impossible to know the exact color of his eyes. Could be yellow, red, blue, gray.
They are both trapped in the bottom of a hourglass. Cheng Xiashi looks at Lu Guang in a frustrated/angry manner, and this face is a lot like the one in the background of his character sheet. It could implied that Lu Guang got them into some kind of bad situation.
Promotional posters presenting season 2's characters have Li Tianchen in Qiao Ling's shadow while Liu Xiao in Qian Jin's. Lu Guang is Cheng Xiaoshi's. Lu Guang lies/manipulates Cheng Xiaoshi for his own good since the start, he hides secrets after all. He is as much a puppeteer as Liu Xiao. He is very knowlegdable but we have no idea to what extent. We can only assume that whatever he is doing, he's doing it for Cheng Xiaoshi's sake.
These details and the implications don't put Lu guang under a good light. Lu Guang always was a morally gray character, however his logic paired with Cheng Xiaoshi's compassion make them the duo we are rooting for.
A popular theory is that Lu Guang betrayed a Time-Something Organization to save Cheng Xiaoshi and is now being punished. Another one is that he made a deal with Vein to grant his wish. In any case, he might have ties with Vein and Liu Xiao, as a whole or separatly, we can only speculate so far.
In my meta on the Promotional Poster for the AR GAME, and the Light and Color theory, I mentioned that "Burning Palace" hints on a Fourth character being part of this new group, and argued that the missing character is already part of the cast: Lu Guang.
Futhermore, whatever happened, he can only be at fault: Lu Guang is supposely the one who introduced Cheng Xiaoshi to his powers. We still don't know the origins behind those, and I won't start the disucussion in this meta, but we know that at some point, in this timeline or another, Cheng Xiaoshi tried to convince Lu Guang to use their power to earn money and pay their debts. Link Click Live Action is not canon to the donghua, but in this adaptation, Lu Guang is the one coming to Cheng Xiaoshi and teaching him the useful way to use his strange energy.
To resume, Lu Guang isn't only keeping secrets from Cheng Xiaoshi. As an audience, we know close to nothing about him, even less than his roommate! Except for the fact he's probably been diving back in time to change the past. Therefore, he cannot be trusted regarding his abilities, his past, or even his motivations. Lu Guang knowing everything or more than others because he lived through several repeats is a false fact. When something unexpected happen, he totally freaks out and he is a control freak. It's okay, we love him as he is. But! He is the definition of unreliable as far as narrators go.
In the past or in the future, Cheng Xiaoshi has to find out the truth at some point. His reaction shouldn't be important for this meta though. Actually, I think the official artworks of him being pissed shouldn't be taken quite literally. The hints I talked about above don't mean anything about HIM or his feelings but it says everything about Lu Guang's actions and the implications of those: he is doing something he knows is wrong and his ultimate goal is exactly the same as some antagonist. Being kept in the dark, lied to or manipulated, Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn't focus on any of it.
Why? If Lu Guang actually rewrote reality and put himself in a doomed situation for him, Cheng Xiaoshi would absolutely try to cancel this accomplishment. That's the only important information we need for this meta.
Cheng Xiaoshi went back in time as someone they knew before so we can assume he would do it again if needed. Imagine our guy coming back as Qiao Ling, as his own wingman to force Lu Guang back into his life? If the talk on the basketball court didn't work, I'm pretty sure getting Lu Guang to do physical work in the studio and bully him to admit he likes Cheng Xiaoshi would do the trick. That's a start anyway.
With these few starting points, we can go deeper now:
>> Through the Looking Glass
There's a myriad of instances where Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are kept apart from each other by glass or shown as each other's shadow or reflection. And I've been mentioning it for a while now but finally, after almost a year, I think I've finally cracked this case!
Starting with Surprising Click Posters, there are 5 visible TV screens with a message of ERROR on Lu Guang's. No matter the meaning, I think it is important to note that Lu Guang is just as much a spectator as we are. The plot happens as it's supposed to happen: no matter what, they'll end up at the same point. For some reasons, I always believed that Cheng Xiaoshi was trapped behind the glass, in the TV, as a playable character, if you may. That's part of how their abilities work together, isn't it? Their deal is Cheng Xiaoshi dives but Lu Guang drives. Well, I'm not so sure anymore. The Picture of the carwash is random but interesting. Cheng Xiaoshi is outside and is knocking at the window.
Who's the one trapped behind glass after all? What if Lu Guang himself is trapped in a TV and Cheng Xiaoshi is trying to get him out?
The first one seen with a camera in INPLICK's art isn't Cheng Xiaoshi but Lu Guang. The story is told from his perspective. But this is Link Click we're talking about so this means basically nothing. Cheng Xiaoshi dives into pictures, he is the one with real control. Lu Guang, all-knowing that he is, is introduced as a passenger, an observer. Even after the big reveal regarding his diving abilities, his strict rules and his attempts to protect the main timeline bring him to failure. This cycle is only set to start again over and over, making it an actual time loop.
In "OVERTHINK", Cheng Xiaoshi is the one using the camera. He looks away from Lu Guang (in deception or sadness I'd say). Once he takes the picture, there is no one there: it could mean Cheng Xiaoshi is using one of Lu Guang's pictures to dive. Yes, Lu Guang's picture: after all, it is Lu Guang's camera that he is using.
Take a look at this meta: Rolleiflex
This aside, Lu Guang is the reflection/shadow, not Cheng Xiaoshi, and thus on several instances. A shadow or a reflection can't do shit. Lu Guang has no control, even if he's being sneaky and acts in the dark. Lu Guang isn't the one calling the shots.
Cheng Xiaoshi is knocking through the glass to reach Lu Guang who's always watching us, the audience. His motivation, objectives, values, worth depends on Cheng Xiaoshi's survival but he doesn't see him. Perhaps his obsession is blinding him to the point he sort of dehumanized his friend. Indeed, the distance between them is as wide as the one between you and them. Coincidentally, when he does look at us, Cheng Xiaoshi is looking at him.
I'll probably write a structured and complete meta about it at some point but for now I'll just put this idea in your head: who else looks at Lu Guang's reflection and portrait, always?
Liu Xiao.
lover_astrid on X often follows Liu Xiaos's trail, they point out interesting things those, specifically: x x
Let's start with Liu Xiao monolgue at the end of season 2:
"It seems that one has only one destined path. But in reality, it is made up of countless parallel lines. It can be driven by one's personality. And can also change with the influence of others. Sometimes we wanna change it. But we can't. I wanna bring more parallel lines together to turn all uncertainties into certainties."
If we cannot change one's path (aka death is an unchangeable node), what is the point in turning incertainties into certainties? For one thing, I think he means to flatten a curve: make it one unique path for one specific node, like a True Timeline of sorts. Then, what does it imply? My guess is to remove either Cheng Xiaoshi or Lu Guang entirely. A theory to take with a grain of salt.
At this point, if we talk about his identity as today, before Yingdu Chapter, he could very much be an alteration of either Lu Guang or Cheng Xiaoshi trying to right a wrong. In the teaser of Surprising Click, he is standing with a picture in front of the familiar couch, many TV screens surrounding him. He's oviously a watcher. He has more knowledge than Lu Guang, and he's obsessed with him apparently, which implies that he knows about his abilities, maybe personally.
Secondly, the text Liu Xiao is reading is part of Shakespeare’s sonnets (39). I won't go too deep into the meaning of it but feel free to read this analysis. It does speaks of lovers separation, but as something that need or should happen.
Lastly, the black feather is Lu Guang's. Liu Xiao can reach Lu Guang but Cheng Xiaoshi cannot. Liu Xiao is always staring at Lu Guang's image and he has his feather as a memory, but Cheng Xiaoshi is separated from his friend by glass.
Edit: this feather thing is even more important now that Yingdu Chapter Opening THE EYE has been released. It shows a notebook with codes in it and the bookmark used is a white piece with the word REWIND on it. It's probably Lu Guang's notebook. The symmetry of making Liu Xiao an alternative version of Cheng Xiaoshi is more and more likely.
In BREAK! Cheng Xiaoshi is the one looking at us. It's like a nudge: hey, actually, I am the one telling you the story, pay attention please. When he raps in songs, he always starts by interrupting loudly to get your attention as well. "Now I'm talking. And Lu Guang will take over."
Cheng Xiaoshi's hand is on a bubble. I always thought it was a mere planet but it's actually a see-through marble. I think it is possible that Lu Guang is inside. The title itself, "BREAK!" is a giveaway of what it will take to free Lu Guang from this. But hold that thought for now.
The hourglass is a recurring motif in Link Click. It is Lu Guang's symbol. It might means that Lu Guang is in a timeloop. Perhaps he isn't only going through repeats but he is trapped in ONE endless loop. Perhaps he's already saved Cheng Xiaoshi but forgot; cut from the reality he belongs to.
The hourglass is not only an object we come across in PVs. The Birthday artwork for Lu Guang showed him in one, with forget-me-not flowers replacing sand. The Bday arts are actually very interesting because both Cheng Xiaoshi's and Lu Guang's heavily hint on Tarot Cards: the Hanged Man and the Fool. I'm working on an ass-long meta regarding the Tarot Imagery in Link Click so I won't go into too many details here.
We have the Hanged Man: he might be intuitive but he is lost, feeling trapped, is self-limited, in need for release only possible by letting go. There is a part of this arcane that tells us we know the prefered outcome but it might blind us, bring us to a prophecy we're actively trying to keep from realization. He sacrifices himself but for what?
In myths, might it be Judas hanging from the tree because of guilt, or Odin when he sacrificed himself to gain the knowledge of the runes, we're talking about an obsessive person who acts according to their own beliefs, with strong moral values. The Hanged Man speaks of selflessness... giving and not expecting in return, making sacrifices for what must be done. The truth is the Hanged Man picked his hill and will die on it. This card comes before Death, representing the peace that comes from accepting what is out of our control or no longer resisting our fate. This is all about letting our own hubris prevent us from taking a different approach.
The cat here is covering one of his eyes, which could be a parallel to Odin once more. I mentioned at the end of this meta that Lu Guang's sight has been stolen. So, it might be a choice that he is in the situation he is in but perhaps he shouldn't have made decisions on wrong beliefs.
I'll let you know that the reversed Hanged Man suggests that the seemingly noble deed of offering yourself as the sacrificial lamb is, at least for the time being, a useless gesture.
Now, the Fool. As a tarot card, I find this one very interesting and mysterious. Arthur Edward Waite gives the Fool the number 0, but in his book he discusses the Fool between Judgment (XX), and The World (XXI). He is suspended between realities. The Fool is usually considered part of the Major Arcana in tarot reasing but this is not true in tarot card games; the Fool's role in most games is independent of both the plain suit cards and the trump cards, it does not belong to either category. The Fool proceeds without calculation, spontaneously, without hesitation or resistance. Without a blueprint, he is freed up from rules, restrictions and systems.
Portrayed as an empty headed simpleton unaware of the forces that move him. In the Waite-Rider deck, you'll see him immortalized right before his fall of a cliff, walking with his loyal dog. He's impulsive and careless. But tradition tells us that he has a secret that protects him: the magic of synchronicity. Now that seems counter-productive in my meta but basically synchronicity is what happens when seemingly unrelated events coincide in improbable ways that have some sort of significance for you. Carl Jung believed synchronicities were evidence of a unifying consciousness at play in the universe, creating physical manifestations of what's happening in our psyche.
Together, the Fool and the Hanged Man encourage to take a step into the unknown and to trust that everything will work out in the end. This combinaison warns of a time when sacrifice and surrender is necessary for growth and transformation.
The Hanged Man understands that his position is a sacrifice that he needs to make in order to progress forward. But only by letting go of old patterns or beliefs that are holding him back can he embrace a new path leading to a good resolution.
The gears and hourglass present in these artworks are kind of self-explanatory. A cog only works as part of a machine, and the machine can only work if everything in there is where it should be and fullfills its role. One action or series of actions repeated on loop. The hourglass measures time but it comes to a stop at some point: has to be turned around so the sand it contains keep flowing. It has a start and a stop.
Finally, the character's flowers aren't only pretty, they're also meaningful. Both are related to Love and Death. Forget-Me-Not are popular enough: related to the wish to be remembered even after our passing, translated into devotion and enduring love. Bellies speaks of everlasting love even beyond death, symbol of cheerfulness and loyalty.
>> Time is like Music
"VORTEX" is a palindrome, meaning it is the same when played forward or backward. The sequence itself shows this: it starts with a reverse and then, once Cheng Xiaoshi touches Lu Guang's hand, he falls down. It is a hourglass in shape and sounds. Also, it would be very clever if the story of Link Click as we've seen it had the same construction in its narrative: starting with a reverse and slowly unfolding the accurate chain of events.
This hourglass, we can find it in the "BREAK!" PV, but also in "XETROverthink". Cheng Xiaoshi literally dives into it to try and reach an unconscious Lu Guang, enlightening the idea that our favorite unreliable narrator has blind spots. We don't see Cheng Xiaoshi catching his friend because the scene cuts to the hourglass.
So, what if Link Click lied to us since the beginning? What if one other version of Cheng Xiaoshi is actually the main character and knows more than Lu Guang himself?
In "The Tides", when walking in front of the painting of a man with fabricated wings (and we know this story is one of a widower), Cheng Xiaoshi looks at it while Lu Guang looks the opposite way. There are different ways to interpret this (because this is animation so we can't be 100% sure). Once again, Lu Guang could be looking at the audience or merely glancing at his lost friend in longing.
Still, this shot offers two possible points of view:
It could be that Lu Guang empathizes with the widower's story: he is living it. He knows all of it already so he doesn't need to look at the doomed romance on the wall or actually investigate the mansion. He probably did it already.
Cheng Xiaoshi is looking at Lu Guang's shadow/reflection when he looks up at the painting. Or perhaps it is the opposite: Cheng Xiaoshi is looking at himself. This is merely a reflection to him. And Lu Guang thinks he knows the role he is playing in the story but, really, he's clueless.
We don't see who makes the figurines clap later but from their position in the previous shot, we can safely assume it is Cheng Xiaoshi's finger pushing the woman's hand down. Which is interesting. It either means Cheng Xiaoshi will always willingly choose to meet Lu Guang half way... Or Cheng Xiaoshi won't allow them to be kept apart and the real secrets unfold there.
Surprisingly, you might have missed an obvious hint that dropped this summer, or simply overlooked: H A N D S.
The wings on the painting might look like Lu Guang's demonic ones but I do not believe it is a coincidence that Lu Guang usually sits by Cheng Xiaoshi's right when they clap. The first time we see them do it, and this exact frame has been used in PV and Overthink, Lu Guang claps down. Also, the "BREAK!" poster shows Cheng Xiaoshi as an angel and they are standing in the exact same position as the figures in the mansion. Once again, the hourglass floats, ominous, between their palms.
Note that even when Lu Guang receives Cheng Xiaoshi's hand, he is on the right side.
Next: None of us skipped "Dive Back in Time" so we know it by heart. Still, I find hints in this intro on a daily basis. If you pay attention, you'll not only notice that Cheng Xiaoshi probably dives in the first three seconds, but he's looking down through glass, at Lu Guang. Lu Guang, who stands at the top of a building here, is still not above Cheng Xiaoshi. Two things:
In the chronological order, the story told is this: First, Cheng Xiaoshi dives into the picture and then we see Lu Guang changing the timeline to save Cheng Xiaoshi. This is basically Inception. The story/the show that we're watching is happening inside a picture. The whole thing is a dive.
The glass could be from the frame but it could very much so be from the usually hourglass, symbol of Lu Guang's obsession.
Another interesting detail is this shot:
Thanks to the watch, we know those are Lu Guang's hands but it is a pose we only see Cheng Xiaoshi takes. Because this is the "sponsors screen", this became Cheng Xiaoshi's signature move to me. We see the story through Lu Guang's perspective, but it's really Cheng Xiaoshi that we should focus on, here.
This particular sequence also offers a reverse: a fall, the "frame" sign with hands, one of the hand making a sign to "look up"/"go back up", then we are pulled up. It is the same narrative as "VORTEX" but this time we find ourselves on the other end, the correct order.
"Break!" lyrics once again seem to fit to Lu Guang more (and I think that's the point, "You're not just a tool" can only be addressed to CXS because that's how Lu Guang and Qiao Ling usually call him). Although the word break is used only once in the song ("make or break a leg"), the action of BREAKing is Cheng Xiaoshi's. Plus, the broken glass is the hourglass.
Speaking of broken glass and reflection, this shot of Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi in reverse in "VORTEX"- I reversed it according to the background (falling down). Once more, Cheng Xiaoshi is the main body, Lu Guang is not actually there. He is a reflection.
In a way, this theory only gives more sense to "XETROVerthink": Lu Guang appears in the hourglass but it's Cheng Xiaoshi who swims to him in order to save him, not the other way around. The rest of this PV is Cheng Xiaoshi's POV too.
Aside from the visual theme that shows basically everything we need to know about Link Click's plot, you have obviously the lyrics. As much as "VORTEX" and both ENDs, they could be read as Lu Guang or Cheng Xiaoshi's pov. But like I said at the beginning of this meta, some lines aren't working for Lu Guang at all.
There has been a hint of Lu Guang trying to stay away, in Lu Guang's flash back, but failing. We don't know if these memories belong to the timeline we're currently watching or not, but they egg us on the very real possibility that Lu Guang might chose to stay away from Cheng Xiaoshi in order to save his life. After all, their powers are complimentary and work together. Their side hustle depends on this. Arguably, and this is an realistic conclusion to draw: this job is what kills Cheng Xiaoshi. It's only natural to suppose he wouldn't die if Lu Guang wasn't in his life.
Your eyes, there ain't nowhere left to hide behind Something secretive hidden inside your mind If it ain't for your misguided taste I'd turn out so ordinary Fabulously un-addictively bore out my own brain Well, don't you feel sorry I'll love where I'm going now
Blue: Diving into Lu Guang's past/picture, could uncovered all secrets, Cheng Xiaoshi could understand him and, from this perspective, there is no possibility to hide anything.
Pink: Cheng Xiaoshi wants to correct Lu Guang's correction, he doesn't want to live an ordinary and boring life Lu Guang isn't a part of. He likes their side hustle as well, I think, because, as I said in the past regarding LCLA, he wants to help people, it's part of his core.
Possibly, our favorite unreliable narrator actually went through it in the end. This hopefully won't stick, not if Cheng Xiaoshi has something to say about it.
Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn't really want things any other way, and that's why this theory of him trying to get Lu Guang back into his storyline seems so plausible to me. Good or bad memories, he just want his partner back.
Because, after all, doesn't it sound like a line someone who remembers a friend who doesn't exist would say?
Chase you to the end of the world just to say your name once more.
I always thought it was a strange way to put it. Most of the time, songs and movies say the opposite "I want to hear you call my name one last time." You know the kind. But here, he wants to say it. Because he lives in a world where no one with that name exists!!
Food for thought. 👀
#Meta#the daily life of alice's hyperfixation#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#link click#shiguang dailiren#时光代理人
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Liu Xiao Overview and Speculation
Thought I'd pull together what we actually know of Liu Xiao thus far and throw in a few of my own speculations for good measure. For someone with so little screentime, there's actually a decent amount to dig into.
This post will contain spoilers up to episode three of yingdu as this is what has aired at the time I'm writing this. I'm going to try and reference episodes and rough timestamps best I can throughout this in case anyone wants to check through themselves.
(Note: made slight edits due to translation issues. See @protect-namine's reblog for more context)
Family
So, our first direct reference to Liu Xiao in the series proper is in season two episode one (~14m), where Liu Jing says that Liu Min doesn't have "half the talent of his younger brother". It's also known that Liu Xiao is currently "away" (later clarified as him studying abroad) and people are anticipating his return.
Essentially, Liu Min is the unfavourite, seen as constantly causing trouble and needing bailing out (with copious amounts of money), whilst Liu Xiao is the golden child. (Interestingly, Qian Jin being so used to solving Liu Min's problems in order to protect the reputation of the company for Liu Jing is likely exactly why Li Tianchen and Liu Min initially came into contact)
Now, Liu Jing may see Liu Xiao as the talented heir to the company, especially as Liu Min was widely seen as a nepo hire (s1e9 ~4m), but Liu Xiao's own opinion on his family seems to lean more towards surface level appeasement, whilst he himself is more distant to them. He refers to his own father as Boss Liu and says that he's not close with him (yingdu ep 2). When interacting with his mother (s2e12), he largely nods along, but it's clear he has his own plans to be getting on with that take priority. And that largely maps to his background machinations in season two overall.
Liu Min
Just going to tangent a second to mention my personal pet theory that Liu Min is likely adopted. Liu Xiao could also be, to be fair, but I think there's more evidence down the Liu Min end for me to be more confident of in this stage.
There's the elephant in the room that these are two sons of differing age who would have been born under the one-child policy. And sure, there have always been exceptions to the policy (and those who are rich are more likely to just pay the relevant fine), but my point is that it's a *choice* to have different age siblings (compare-contrast the Lis who are explicitly twins and the relationship between Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi who are not biologically related but have a siblingesque dynamic).
The final bit of circumstantial evidence is Liu Min's hair. As you see in the photo above (s2e12 ~18m), Liu Min has had blond hair from a very young age, which significantly decreases the likelihood of him dyeing it. This photo also shows his mum's hair colour is naturally black (as opposed to the brown dye she has in her dressed-up present day aesthetic), which means both parents are black hair to Liu Min's blond. (Side note, but the framing of this photo is so striking in how it directs the eyes to see Liu Min as the clear black sheep of the family.)
If it gets confirmed that Liu Min is adopted and Liu Xiao *isn't* though, then it does cast a different light on Liu Min being seen as the worthless sibling. The fact that in this photo of his childhood he's smiling bright yet his later appearances have him so wrapped in self-delusion that he'll order hits on online strangers and cling to any chance of 'friendship'. The way that when he was younger Liu Jing would show him off to business associates but by the time of yingdu he was persona non grata. Liu Min gets more pitiful the more we know of him.
Emma/Quede Games client
So, let's dial it back to season one. I know I'm far from the first person to think this way, but I'll try to explain how I came to the conclusion that the client in Emma (s1e1) was either Liu Xiao or intentionally influenced by him.
(I'm saying 'influenced by' as an option rather than straight up him for a few reasons, but one of them is... translation choices. See below (s1e9 ~18m):
One translation names Emma as the client in her own case (I'm not *totally* sure she'd be alive to order her own dive, but okay - I'm not going into Emma ep timelines rn) and the other just says she was a player in said case rather than explicitly the client. The other reason I'm saying 'influenced by' as an option rather than straight up Liu Xiao is because he was out of the country during the entirety of season one, only returning in the final episode of season two. So whilst it's possible he could have recruited Qiao Ling directly (phones aren't limited by country, after all) I'm just going to keep it as "part of Liu Xiao's plan".)
Anyway, s1e1, we first find out that there's a client who wants to obtain the financial data for Quede Games before it's released to the public. This eventually leads to financial discrepancies coming to light. Zhu Ye, the CFO, was embezzling money, and ends up under investigation. As we later find out, he was funneling money both to himself and Liu Min. (And once Liu Min finds out his source of extra income is cut off, he goes after Emma as the one responsible)
It's laid out in the episode itself that only the CFO has this data. But who would know enough about the data in the first place to know what it would reveal? Surely it would have to be inside information from someone with reason to bring the company into disrepute. Quede Games is implied to be very efficient at massaging over scandals (Liu Jing makes reference to this in s2e1, as does Liu Min in s2e9) so it would take something big for them to properly break into the news.
Now, the client *could* be Emma, as she did have the knowledge of the discrepancies, but not only does the timeline not match (aka, she would already be dead unless I'm missing something) but it also doesn't align with what we know of her outlook. Emma started as someone trying to make it big in the city, but by the time of her episode, she was close to her breaking point. What she wanted was her parents, not to lose her job.
So, it's probably not Emma. It's not Zhu Ye, because why would he tell on himself? Not Liu Jing, because he seems to think Zhu Ye being investigated is an attack on him. I guess I can't technically rule out Liu Jing's wife, but as we don't even get her name, that seems a long shot. So, who's left with connection to Quede Games? Liu Xiao.
Liu Xiao had Li Tianchen obtain Liu Min's phone from under the noses of both Qian Jin and Liu Jing (s2e12 ~21m). Our only real hint as to what is on that phone comes much earlier in season two, during the discussion between Qian Jin and Liu Jing (s2e4 ~1m). "I'm not interested in your family secrets," says Qian Jin, implying that's exactly what's on the missing phone. Qian Jin is privy to all sorts of dirty secrets in his role as company fixer, so it's curious that this seems more personal than business. Either way though, the phone is proof that Liu Xiao is working against his father, even if he plays nice to his parents' faces.
And, of course, Liu Jing mentions in that exact same conversation: "First, Zhu Ye being investigated, now Liu Min. Someone must be messing with me!" Like, yes, wonder who that could be.
Liu Xiao's actions involve secretively working against his parents. I'd say attacking the company by exposing financial fraud would fit the bill perfectly.
Motives and personality
His PV is called 'manipulator' and... yeah, hard to argue against that. His official art features him playing puppeteer to Li Tianchen even. What I *would* like to argue though is what *type* of manipulator he is.
Liu Xiao plays the long game. He's not just "mask on, get benefit, escape". He sewed seeds in Li Tianchen *years* prior and only reaped them in the current day. In a similar way, he speaks cordially to his parents. They both speak of him as though they're proud of him and that he's "much better than their other son". And yet, he's been working against them for some time. He's intelligent and charismatic enough to pull it off.
Liu Xiao's relationship with Li Tianchen is the most telling though, in how he uses his friendship as a leash. On first meeting Li Tianchen (s2e4 ~0m), he validates Li Tianchen hiding away with Li Tianxi when the abuse kicks off. But he follows it up with his speech about animals, clearly framing Liu Lan as a scared animal, whilst implying that Li Tianchen was also a scared animal, but one who could change to become a hunter if he stopped hiding.
Liu Xiao then continues this framing throughout their childhood flashbacks and into the present day timeline (s2e9 ~13m | s2e12 ~21m). The idea is that Li Tianchen can become a hunter but it's *conditional*. Li Tianchen could be friends with Liu Xiao but he has to *act*. Liu Xiao will only deign to be friends with someone who "has guts". I have no idea how much of this was intentional vs subconscious manipulation, but either way, Liu Xiao isolated Li Tianchen's guilt over not acting in order to make him act the way *he* wanted.
Anyway, he also seems to have a strong belief in a higher order (and I'm starting to think said higher order is *himself*), what with his whole "make the timelines into one single river". Liu Xiao's stated aim is to "turn uncertainties into certainties". The world as it is runs in parallel lines, influenced by many factors (personality, other people, etc). Like a game of poker or russian roulette, really.
Given his hunter-prey speech, it seems clear that he believes himself to be a "hunter". That he's doing this not because he has some great need, but because he wants to control events. Win this grand game he's set up for himself. Which is curious because in yingdu ep 2, he says, "you use your unfair advantages to stay in control."
Regardless of what you believe about Liu Xiao's powers, it's hard not to think that this applies somewhat to himself. But it'd be interesting if he saw himself attacking Quede Games and taking down the gambling ring as him "evening the odds" for others. Imo, I'm not sure the idea fits with his personality (as, yk, *hunter-prey* speech), but it could certainly be spun that way.
And any good manipulator needs some good press.
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A metaphysical argument for why Lu Guang was the one who risked his intestines falling out to go save his little meow meow
Needless to say, spoilers ahead!
Part 1: Introduction to the bootstrap paradox
There's a lot I could say about the supposed time loop that occurs in episodes 7-8-9 of season 2. Most of them -- the kettle, the lack of a speedboat, Lu Guang's characterization -- have been said better by other theorists. But I'm here to explain the bootstrap/predestination paradox.
The bootstrap paradox is when something is sent back in time, which creates an infinite loop, making the thing seems like it has no origin. The example I learned it with was with time machines. Say you open your door one day to find a book, written by yourself, containing information on how to build a time machine. You take, I dunno, let's say ten years building the thing. Then you use your new time machine to send the book back in time, to your ten-years-ago self, to seal the loop. Works great, right? You've closed the loop, and now you have a time machine.
There's only one problem. Where the hell did that book come from in the first place?
I mean, yes, obviously, it's from the future. But someone had to have written that book, right? But you, the supposed writer of the book, only got it because it got sent back in time by a version of you that already had the book. We assume there was no way you could've figured out how to build a time machine yourself. But that means that the knowledge about the time machine essentially just, popped out of nowhere. Poof! Just like that.
The information about Cheng Xiaoshi and Li Tianchen/Li Tianxi's location is like that. The only reason any of the characters know it is because of Lu Guang. But if their narration is to be believed, then "Lu Guang" only knew it because he was being possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi, who already learned the information in the future. So… how did anyone get that information in the first place?
I generally consider there to be two solutions to the bootstrap paradox. One is an obfuscated origin -- one where the information was obtainable even without the loop, but its origin is hidden by the loop's existence. Say if, without the loop, Li Tianchen releases Cheng Xiaoshi from his control once they're on the boat, and Cheng Xiaoshi figures out where he is. He manages to survive the encounter with the antagonists, and eventually makes it home. But, in the process, Qiao Ling dies. So now Cheng Xiaoshi both has information available to him about where he was during the boat scene, and also a reason to start the loop -- Qiao Ling is dead, and might not be dead if he didn't get taken in the first place. So he takes Lu Guang's photo, and starts the loop.
This particular version of the obfuscated origin theory is… probably not the case. Largely because we don't know how changing the timeline so drastically interacts with Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, specifically, what would happen if he were to clap back into a "present" that technically no longer exists. However, my personal theory -- that I'll discuss in another post -- does fall under the obfuscated origin solution, just slightly to the left.
The second solution to bootstrap is just an allowance for these types of paradoxes to exist. Each story handles it differently. In my model of time -- which I'm pretty sure Link Click doesn't follow, because why would it -- these types of loops are a close relative of magic, because of their self-defining nature. Now, I'm going to say that this is not the case in Link Click, based on what we've seen of Cheng Xiaoshi's power so far.
Part 2: Cheng Xiaoshi's power is weird, man
For the second solution to be valid, we should ideally have at least one of three proofs.
This is the most convincing proof -- if we have another example of an exclusive, stable time loop (exclusive as in the events involved in the loop would not have happened without the loop's presence, stable as in the loop doesn't contradict itself the way it does in, for example, the grandfather paradox). This would just plainly prove the fact that Cheng Xiaoshi can create the loop we see in episodes 7-8-9.
Cheng Xiaoshi's dives should be able to have causality effects up to and including his decision to dive, at the very least. Essentially, Cheng Xiaoshi needs to be able to create an effect on the world that shows up before the dive concludes. This demonstrates the flexibility of the timeline -- that it allows Cheng Xiaoshi to make changes to events that precede his dive, instead of only events that succeed it. While this isn't as strong as the first proof, it would show that, at the minimum, Cheng Xiaoshi is able "cause" his own dive.
In cases where Cheng Xiaoshi observes a person who he has/will dive into, he should be viewing the "dived" version and not the "original" version. This demonstrates that the timeline "knows" about Cheng Xiaoshi's dives before he performs them. This way, it makes sense if the "Lu Guang" Cheng Xiaoshi saw was a "dived" version, instead of original-Lu-Guang. This is our bottom line, because without this, then… Well, there's really nothing showing that Cheng Xiaoshi was even possessing Lu Guang during that first run of events that we saw.
Let's go through them one by one. The first proof is pretty much a no-go. There is only one dive in the entire series where this type of causality is even discussed, and that's during the dive into Li Tianxi (referred to as Xixi from now on. By the way, fun fact -- although the English sub appears to subtitle her nickname as "Xixi," it's actually pronounced "Xiaoxi" in Mandarin. I was confused about this for a while because Xixi and Xiaoxi would both be valid and common nicknames for her, in terms of convention, haha. If anyone ever wants to hear me talk about some hard-to-translate linguistic details in Link Click, let me know!). In this dive, Lu Guang tells Cheng Xiaoshi to pick up the photo, saying that if the photo disappears, then "the future that we live in will cease to exist." You could make an argument here that Cheng Xiaoshi's act of picking up the photo allows for the dive to happen, fulfilling proof 1. However, this proves stability -- that the dive does not contradict, or nullify itself -- but it doesn't prove exclusivity. That is, we have no way of knowing what would've happened to the photo if Cheng Xiaoshi hadn't dived. It's plausible that Xixi or Li Tianchen would've picked up the photo in the end anyway, regardless of Cheng Xiaoshi's influence. Thus, this is much closer to just being their typical motto while diving -- leave the past untouched, or as close as they can get it to the original.
The second proof is harder to say. We can't say for sure whether or not we've ever seen the effect of Cheng Xiaoshi's dives occur before he makes the decision to dive, for two reasons. One is the butterfly effect -- many causes may have effects, but those effects may be extremely hard to trace back to their original causes. It's possible that maybe Cheng Xiaoshi as Xu Shan Shan asking Qiao Ling about what Lu Guang saw in him might've, I don't know, kept Qiao Ling occupied where otherwise she would've gone "Oh I forgot my phone in the studio" or something. And the fact that Qiao Ling never came back to the studio demonstrates that Cheng Xiaoshi created an effect prior to him diving. But there's no solid proof for this being the case. The second one is that it's just much harder to prove impossibility than simple absence. That is, even if we've never seen this happen, it doesn't mean it can't happen -- it just means we haven't seen it yet.
However, from a writing perspective, there's some solid evidence that, while Cheng Xiaoshi's power has the potential for "effects," those effects are only observable to Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang themselves after the "cause" has already occurred. That is, any effects of Cheng Xiaoshi's dives only become evident after the dive has already happened. The strongest proof for this is Chen Xiao's camera in episode five, and Lu Guang's narration. As a result of Cheng Xiaoshi's actions while possessing Chen Xiao, the camera that presumably would've been destroyed in the original timeline is preserved. Chen Xiao's father then finds the camera and brings it to Chen Xiao, who then brings it to the studio to get developed. Lu Guang says here that this is why they don't ask about the future -- because the future is inevitably changed by their actions. While this was an emotionally touching scene in terms of storytelling, I believe it also serves a double purpose, showing us the limits of Cheng Xiaoshi's diving. It shows explicitly that his dives can change the timeline, but he himself will only experience the effects of that change after he's already dived. This makes quite a lot of sense, combined with part three, which is that:
I'm nearly 100% sure that Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang themselves always experience the "original" series of events when they go through things in real time, and never otherwise.
The best example of this is with the Xu Shanshan dive in episode 10. After combing through the episode and comparing it to episode 8, there are three major deviations in Cheng Xiaoshi's behaviour during the dive versus Xu Shanshan's during the first run through. First is a general difference in voice, mannerisms, and expressions. Especially near the beginning of the dive, Cheng Xiaoshi sounds different than Xu Shanshan. Even later, does small things like turn his head and make expressions at a different time. However, I'm not going to take this one as seriously, considering we're not sure if this is showing actual reality or is for the viewer's benefit, demonstrating the difference between the two. After all, we, the viewer sees that anyone possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi has their eyes turn gold, but no one in the story itself notices it. Me, personally, I think I would notice if my best friend took a photo and then came back with differently coloured eyes. I don't know though, I might just be built different like that.
Second is that Xu Shanshan says "I'm not like a certain someone, leeching off other people" (second half paraphrased) whereas Cheng Xiaoshi says "I don't [want to be like] a certain someone, leeching off other people." Again, this one is questionable, because the dialogue actually spoken is the exact same (in terms of words), and the English sub is the exact same, but the Chinese subtitles has a 像想 in place of 像 in the second run-through. Which is weird, because [want to be like] is actually 想像 and not 像想… confusing. Like, this is 100% a typo by the subtitles team, but what was the original intended version? No one knows. The last, and only actual deviation I found, was that Xu Shanshan goes "Hey, Qiao" when asking about how Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang get their information from photos, whereas Cheng Xiaoshi just says "Qiao."
This, combined with the fact that Lu Guang is able to "see" the original in the first place, all make a strong case that, in Link Click, the timeline doesn't "know" that Cheng Xiaoshi has dived until he actually does it, at which point it tries to catch up. This is consistent with everything else we've seen. It makes sense that the effect of his dives are only noticeable to him after the fact, because the timeline has to basically make live edits to itself to deal with his existence.
With this in mind, the Lu Guang we see in episode 7 simply couldn't've been Cheng Xiaoshi. This was a real time event, so it had to have been the undived version of Lu Guang doing… all that. Of course, the question here is how Lu Guang even got the information about Cheng Xiaoshi's whereabouts in the first place. I might make more posts theorizing about Lu Guang's powers and their limitations, the nature of his loop, etc… But for now, I've been grinding this post for about two hours. That's all. I hope you all enjoyed reading this!
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Rewriting what I said in the VeiFei server to be more coherent, but here’s how I think the Yingdu Finale will go: It has to end in a Cathartic way. Not just Shocking. Not just Tragic. Cathartic.
I’m not gonna try to predict what is gonna happen because Link Click can always manage to shock us in new ways. But as a writing major, I can at least look at the writing techniques Yingdu have used so far and infer through it how the story can be best resolved.
And one thing that really strikes me about Yingdu is that, unlike S1 and S2, its fan service is blatant and aplenty. This is not necessarily Bad, but the pattern I’m seeing in Yingdu—but isn’t present in S1 and S2—is that all of its characters must undergo an “Awesome” moment. It’s not enough for the scenes to simply serve the plot and the themes. It must also be Cool, Peak, Emotionally Satisfying—whatever you call it.
It seems the goal in Yingdu is to instill in the viewer Strong Emotions. It’s not really about giving us all the clues and making us figure out the mysteries. (Remember all those complaints about Yingdu being full of “fillers” and having “no plot”? This may be why.) Yingdu has never been about the What—because we already know CXS dies—but the How—how hard can they make our hearts break?
Now, what do I mean by an Awesome moment? Here are some examples:
Cheng Xiaoshi threatening to hurt Vivian if she hurts Lu Guang
Qiao Ling dramatically telling Cheng Xiaoshi that it was his mom who doesn’t want him to go
Liu Xiao pointing the gun at Xiang and turning the game on him
Xia Fei whining on the phone, but moments later tells his haters a big “Fuck you”
Vein’s hype entrance at the end of YE3
Vein stopping that stone from hitting Xia Fei before proceeding to obliterate everyone in YE4
Cheng Xiaoshi, as Wang Qing, yelling at his dad and putting him in place
All these moments can be considered Awesome. It makes you feel “Yes!” It makes you wanna clench your fist and pull it down in excitement or triumph.
Since episode 1, the characters’ Awesome levels have been steadily rising. So for Yingdu to end in any satisfying way, they have to maintain or exceed those. No character should be Less Awesome by the end because that would instill a lot of negative feelings in the viewer.
Another way of putting this is that… Yingdu has constantly rewarded the viewer in an emotional sense, so by the finale our emotions would be at an all-time high. All of that emotion needs to be released, and since it’s the last episode they only have one chance to do it. There is no time for Yingdu to gently let us down by decreasing the characters’ Awesome levels first, so the remaining option is to either make them peak or let them go out in a blaze of glory. But whatever they choose to do, they must never, never drop the ball on any one of them.
That would inspire resentment.
Like, imagine that infuriating feeling you get when you read a story that could’ve been so good if it was just written a little differently, but there’s nothing you could do but lament its potential. No writer would want their audience to feel such a thing. Yingdu has to avoid that effect at all costs—which would be difficult because of the Awesome levels they’ve allowed to increase in a linear fashion. They’re already at the highest, so falling down would be even more dangerous.
To reiterate, the Yingdu Ending has to be Cathartic, and no character should be left as Less than how they started.
(However, this does not apply to Lu Guang because… well, he’s going through the terrors. But I reckon he will at least finally have his own Awesome moment in the finale for it to also count as Satisfying.)
#shiguang dailiren#link click#link click yingdu#时光代理人#link click meta#<- sort of#miyamiwu.meta#miyamiwu.src
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Audiobook, ep 103 (corresponds to s1ep10)
Now eps covers the donghua's plot closely, but sometimes there are small changes, additions and expansions of scenes. This post is a copy of my thread from twitter for the archive.
Friendly reminder, I'm not a native speaker, there is also no subtitles. I'm trying my best, but I can't hear everything and probably made mistakes. Please keep in mind, I wrote it just for reference.
At the very beginning of the scene, the school bell rings, signaling the end of classes. Afterwards, the boy runs to his father and says that he got 100 points for the test, his father promised to buy him a ranger toy for this - his father says they will now go and buy it. After, the girl calls her mother and tells about how well she drew a picture during class with their family, and the teacher noted that it was drawn very well. Mom praises her. QL: Every time after school, he (Cheng Xiaoshi) saw other children being picked up by their parents, and how they returned home together. And he just stood aside and looked at them all alone, feeling envious and lonely. In order to make himself like a normal kid and to blend in with others, he tried his best, but...
Flashback
Kids playing together. Kid 1:Look at this! Kid 2:Take it! CXS:What are you playing? Can I join you? Kid:Em…
Woman:Why are you still here? Go home, go. You don’t know this kid, so why are you hanging out with strangers? Let’s go. Grandma:Nannan (girl’s name), listen to grandma, it’s time to leave. Go home. Grandpa:Don't you dare to play with him. He is a feral child! He has no parents to teach him. How can a child be so uncouth! Woman:Right! So careless, just running here and there, like a disaster
People together: - All right, all right, let’s go - Mom, go - Hurry up!
CXS:You are the feral kids! You are like a disaster, your whole family is a disaster! I don’t want to play with you!
People together: (There is some other phrases I can’t understand)
- What a disaster - At such a young age, you say such dirty words, really disgusting! - Grandma, don't listen to him, it’s so dirty - Hurry, shut your ears - Crazy! Cheng Xiaoshi starts crying.
QL: The neighbors who used to spend time together with him and the friends he played with left him one by one. He was eventually isolated, but I know how afraid of losing everyone he was.
(Here they placed a flashback that corresponded to the moment with the earthquake when CXS ran to QL’s house) QL: That was the first time, when he, who had always been stubborn, was so frightened that couldn’t put words together. Then I realized how painful it must be for him to say, "I don't want you to care about me." At that time, Qiao Ling understood - these people who came to the photo studio as soon as they heard the news about Cheng Xiaoshi's parents', just wanted to satisfy their curiosity. Their perfunctory concern may be able to hide it from others, but it couldn’t fool Cheng Xiaoshi since he was involved. Children have the purest, the sharpest eyes. These people themselves had no idea how their sarcastic words could hurt a child's heart. In the following days, Cheng Xiaoshi stopped trying to cater to others and just spent time alone in the photo studio. Sitting alone at the door of the photo studio, watching people coming and going, the liveliness was about other people, had nothing to do with him. Day by day, year by year, the photo studio was becoming more and more dilapidated. Cheng Xiaoshi also grew up gradually, but his life seemed to always have two points and one thread: from the photo studio to the school, and then from the school to the photo studio. He only had one friend, Qiao Ling, by his side.
QL: Before, I was worried whether Cheng Xiaoshi would be able to make friends who truly cared about him… Until that day. That day.
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"Past or Future, Let Them Be." vs. "Even without seeing hope, it doesn't mean there is no hope."
In talking about theme, motivation, and growth.
Almost every photograph in season one conveyed a love story. Romantic, platonic, familial, it didn't really matter the form. Season one was about bonds, connections, helping one another, and fighting for a future with no regrets.
It was human. It was relatable. We all loved it.
Season two covered one photograph (two if you count Chen Bin) and a horror story, wherein "love" only brought pain. Bonds held you back, and secrets were kept before connections made. A struggle, full of regrets.
Completely different, weren't they?
I'm sure we all notice how, on the official character profiles, the stickers of the antagonists hide the "future" of "past or future, let them be"?
Interesting. The word "future" implies hope, something season two deliberately lacked. What we witnessed wasn't a fight for the future. It was a fight for survival of the present. In that tunnel? No one was thinking about their future. The game played was a cruel one. Mercy really wasn't in the cards. Who cares about the future when you are barely surviving the present?
Let's talk a little bit about the theming of "hope."
Pt 1: Cheng Xiaoshi . Even without seeing hope, it doesn't mean there is no hope.
Hope always exists, but it's so easily lost.
The first photograph where hope is explicitly themed is DouDou's, and the timing couldn't have been better. After the earthquake, Cheng Xiaoshi is teetering on the edge of hopelessness. He's hard on himself and hard on others. "Take care of yourself now and look forward"; "Live your life, be present, move on," he says. That's not bad advice but..... it's harsh. I wouldn't say these words lack all hope, but they ask you to give up the fight for a future you dream of.
In that moment, Cheng Xiaoshi is trying to cope. He can't save them. Not all futures are possible, and it's foolish to want something you can never have. It's heartbreaking for everyone to watch.
Qiao Ling is the mediator who brings him back. She communicates and is vulnerable and honest with him about her regret.
"I thought I could escape the past... but... he still didn't give up." Haunted by the past, struggling into the present, and fighting for a future you want.
The strongest Three Star Warrior is the star of Justice, rekindling hope. As long as we have hope, we will not be defeated easily.
(also, can we just... as an aside.... their roles????? LG courage-obliterating fear, QL wisdom - light the way, CXS justice - rekindling hope. Because, if that's not blatant theming then I don't know what is.)
DouDou's case heals Cheng Xiaoshi. He helped create a future... and that is BIG. He created a future. From the past. Actively. There is hope!
But doubt still remains like a double edged sword. It surfaces again with Xu Shanshan and culminates with Emma.
Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't wait for Lu Guang before he dives. The puzzle is linking. This is his fault. He has to make it right. Immediately. Alone. There is no time.
"Why is my kindness repaid with such consequences?"
In the trunk of the car, upon the discovery that the victim is Emma, the puzzle clicks with devastating swiftness. No one is there to talk him down. It's all his fault. Emma, Xu Shanshan, Qiao Ling, his parents. Who else has he hurt? He's caught in a decision. How does he make this right? Does he follow his heart, or does he follow logic - the rules driven into his head?
It's his fault and so.... Cheng Xiaoshi does not trust his heart. But what does he trust? He trusts Lu Guang. Rules it is.
Pt 2: Lu Guang: Past or Future, Let Them Be.
There are three rules, and the third is most important. In fact, you might argue that the first two rules are simply supplemental to the third.
I'm pretty big on rules myself. They exist for a reason and keep us safe. We trust that those who make the rules know what is best for us.... but, it's not really a one size fits all kind of deal, is it?
That third, important rule, that rule that exists to protect time and everyone in it, that very rule is what is destroying Cheng Xiaoshi's heart. We know Lu Guang sees that, and we know (now more than ever) how much he cares.
His character is still an enigma that is very hard to read, so this is just speculation but -- after the Earthquake, Lu Guang's perspective on the future seems to shift. He was always working to help others, but now he's more proactive about it. He keeps DouDou's flier, he immediately contacts Xiao Li about Xu Shanshan, he tells them what he saw in the photo, he trusts Cheng Xiaoshi to act.
Emma(1) and Lin Zhen/Yu Xia (2) were jobs taken to gather information. Chen Xiao's (3-5) job was taken to give closure. These three jobs helped a person in the present. Did they change the future? Oh, yes. But that wasn't the intent. And that's why you don't ask about the future, because the future will definitely be changed because of them.
Episode 5.5. When Qiao Lings asks them to take a job for Liu Siwen, they don't know the specifics. They don't know that Liu Siwen is now an old man. Upon failure, Cheng Xiaoshi asks Qiao Ling where in the world she found such a task? Lu Guang immediately scolds and reminds him not to ask about the future. Qiao Ling interrupts him (bless her, she was really like "stop, you're being an idiot too") She spills all the details.
In the end, Lu Guang breaks his own rule (as CXS points out, though he says he's just there to keep them in line. yeah, right. ). He actively helps Liu Siwen create a future. A future he literally spent decades fighting for. And that's where the tables turn.
Both DouDou and Xu Shanshan's cases twist two out of the three rules. They actively question the future and they actively change the future. They don't let the past be. And Cheng Xiaoshi is permitted to act outside of Lu Guang's direction. He receives that blessing.
Because Lu Guang saw how much his rules hurt Cheng Xiaoshi. He saw what over protection does to a person. Cheng Xiaoshi wasn't the only one deep in thought after the earthquake.
Episode 11: Pinnacle of Light "But Emma's fate changed because of me. That's why I'll try again, no matter what happens." ------- (BIG side eyes at that wording. Yeah, no wonder Lu Guang agreed to let Cheng Xiaoshi dive into blind surveillance footage.)
Cheng Xiaoshi dives into Emma's past. As himself. He talks directly to Emma. And Lu Guang doesn't stop him. This action is the exact opposite of "Past or Future, Let Them Be." Cheng Xiaoshi couldn't get farther from that phrase if he tried! And oh, he tried. He tried to save Emma. And Lu Guang just let's him. Knowing that death node cannot be crossed. He stays silent. Because he's guided Cheng Xiaoshi as far as he can.
At this point, he can only accept the aftermath of his guidance. Let him be.
Pt. 3: Past and Future vs. Past and Present vs. Present and Future
If season one was about fighting for a future, for hope, then season two was its antithesis. No matter what anyone did, the future was set in stone. It was all they could do to keep up. Qian Jin warping the narrative, disillusioned by the past. Li Tianchen controlling the tempo, always staying one step ahead, firmly in his present hell. Li Tianxi dying in order to reach a "future" (but she's not dead until there's a funeral, we've been through this).
Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang barely communicate the whole season. There's no time to. The present moment is that merciless. The start of Li Tianxi's photograph was refreshing because it was like old times, a comfortable place. The banter, the directions, the casualness of it all.
But the past did not give way to a future of hope, and the present came crashing down hard and merciless. And it never let up. The abductions, the deaths, the tunnel. The only reason any of them make it out of that tunnel alive is, ironically, because Xiao Li showed up. (or is it ironic. He's a whole other post I'll never write. )
Season one shaped the past for a brighter future. Season two displayed firmly that the present is fixed and the past cannot be changed.
So season three?
Present into Future. Season two left us with a question to ponder.
Do you accept the fate given to you as inevitability, or do you actively try and shape it?
We see both our "protagonists" and "antagonists" (it's more grey than that, really) moving forward but they're displayed as opposites. Liu Xiao pulls Li Tianchen up, active from the present, out into a future. Does he have a choice but to move forward? Is there anything he can change about his past regrets? No. Maybe not. Present, being directed by one Future.
But Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang? They actively drag us back down to the past. And on top of that it's a choice. A desperate, active choice made to do away with the rules. Past, reshaping potential Futures.
Because even without seeing hope. It doesn't mean there is no hope.
#时光代理人#link click#sorry for the mess#hope it makes sense...#this show has my whole heart so let's just spill it#come cry with me I love to hear different interpretations!#my lc theories
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let me do this for you
"Lu Guang’s limbs feel heavy as he climbs the stairs, every changed minute weighing down his body as he goes to check on Cheng Xiaoshi. He wishes he could do today over again. He doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to do today over again." Lu Guang experiences Cheng Xiaoshi being sick for the first time. Twice.
My long-awaited Link Click fic is finally here!! I have been so excited to post this for MONTHS because it's genuinely one of my favorite things I've written. I love Link Click for letting me write just about anything with a layer of agony over it because Lu Guang is in a permanent state of anxious paranoia about messing up the timeline. It means even the funny bits include angst :)
So this baby's got it all! Sickfic shenanigans, big sister Qiao Ling, whiny Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang feeling like he's mourning every time he looks at Cheng Xiaoshi's face, soup..... What more could you ask for?
(Spoilers for season 2. Content warning for vomiting. 12k words. Ignore the fact that I completely messed up the layout of the studio and then didn't want to change it. The living room and their made-up kitchen are on their own separate floor, because I said so.) (ao3 link)
---
Dingdingding. Dingdingding. Dingdingding.
Lu Guang cracks his eyes open and feels around next to his pillow for his phone, thumbing at the screen to turn off his morning alarm. Early morning sunlight is already filtering in through the window, so Lu Guang relents that it’s time to start the day. He pulls himself down the ladder, ignoring the groans from Cheng Xiaoshi coming from the bottom bunk as his own phone begins to buzz. Lu Guang silently descends the stairs, allowing Cheng Xiaoshi his customary extra few minutes of sleep while Lu Guang prepares tea and a simple breakfast for the two of them.
After living together for almost a year, Lu Guang enjoys the comfort he finds in this familiar morning routine. He sets the breakfast on the table and sets to eating his own, waiting for his roommate.
But Cheng Xiaoshi never comes down. Lu Guang waits patiently, knowing that Cheng Xiaoshi is a sloth and some days he takes longer to rouse himself than others. But after watching the time tick by on his watch for 21 minutes, he can no longer idly wait. Lu Guang climbs the stairs, ready to bang his fist on the doorframe to wake his roommate up, when Cheng Xiaoshi flies past him, almost knocking Lu Guang over, and runs straight for the bathroom.
Lu Guang waits outside the bathroom door impatiently. “Hurry up or we’re going to be late—”
And that’s when Cheng Xiaoshi starts retching.
The morning does not get more pleasant after that. As it turns out, the only thing more annoying that an overly chipper, healthy Cheng Xiaoshi is a sick one.
---
“Was it something you ate?” Lu Guang asks Cheng Xiaoshi reproachfully. The first round of puking had only lasted a few minutes, but before Lu Guang even had a chance to speak to Cheng Xiaoshi properly, he was back in the bathroom, coughing and moaning as he continued expelling everything he had in his stomach.
Cheng Xiaoshi is on the couch in the living room now, looking a little green and definitely not in the mood for answering questions. The quilt from his bed is wrapped around his body, coming up over head to look like a hood.
“How should I know? It’s not like the answer was written at the bottom of the toilet bowl.”
Lu Guang sighs. “We ate the same meals yesterday. I was just wondering if your food felt off in any way.”
“If it felt off, I wouldn’t have eaten it!”
This is debatable. Lu Guang has seen Cheng Xiaoshi eat plenty of things in the name of “not letting it go to waste” that seemed questionable. While this situation is an appropriate time to mention that fact, Lu Guang refrains.
“Okay, well maybe you have a virus, then.”
Cheng Xiaoshi holds a hand to his stomach pathetically. “Can you cure me, Lu Guang?”
“No, but I can go downstairs to open the studio alone while you stay up here and keep your puke away from the customers.”
This is apparently the wrong response, because Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes widen like he was just told that Lu Guang is moving out of the country today.
“You’re leaving me?” he cries. “In my hour of need, you’re going to abandon me?”
Lu Guang rolls his eyes. “I’m going to be directly underneath you, idiot. Just call me if you need something. Someone has to pay rent this month.”
“Do you think Qiao Ling would come take care of me?”
“Qiao Ling has her own priorities besides dealing with your whining. Go lay back down; I’ll check on you in a few hours.”
Lu Guang leaves silently. He wasn’t wrong; they really did need to open the studio today. There were customers scheduled to pick up their prints this morning. He makes sure to take his phone off silent mode as he works, in case Cheng Xiaoshi calls for something, but he never does. Lu Guang finds himself staring nervously at his phone throughout the morning. Is Cheng Xiaoshi still throwing up? Has he made it to the toilet every time, or is he defacing every surface of their apartment in revenge? Does he need something? Why hasn’t he called?
By lunch time, Lu Guang can’t stand it. He locks up the studio and goes upstairs to check on his roommate. His worries melt away when he sees Cheng Xiaoshi in the exact same position he was left in, strewn across the couch with a plastic-lined wastepaper basket on the floor beside him, groaning pathetically.
“Lu Guaaaaaang….” Cheng Xiaoshi moans, long and desperate. “Everything huuuurts.”
Lu Guang tries a gentle approach. “Could you be more specific? Is it your stomach? Does your body ache? Are you feverish?”
Cheng Xiaoshi pulls the quilt higher, tucking it under his chin. “I’m not gonna make it. Call Qiao Ling. Tell her to come quickly so I can update my will.”
Lu Guang sighs. “You’re not dying, idiot. You probably have a virus. Or it was something you ate. Now could you tell me the rest of your symptoms?”
Cheng Xiaoshi ignores his questions yet again, cracking his eyes open slowly, like it’s taking him a great amount of effort to do so. “Have you called Qiao Ling? Does she know I’m ill?”
“I could help you get better if you’d just tell me what’s wrong,” Lu Guang says crossly. The quilt is pulled up so high he can barely see Cheng Xiaoshi under the blanket. Does he have a fever? Does he need medication? He debates leaning forward to feel his forehead but doesn’t know a way to pull it off without it seeming strange. He refrains. “I know your stomach is upset, but what else—”
Cheng Xiaoshi rolls over flippantly. “Tell me when Qiao Ling gets here. I’ll only speak to her. I’m taking you out of my will.”
Lu Guang looks to the ceiling, balling his hands into fists and breathing slowly. After a few slow exhales he calmly tells Cheng Xiaoshi that he should try eating something small to settle his stomach. He goes to their pantry and prepares a small dish full of plain wonton strips and a glass of cool water.
“I have to go back to work. Please try to eat something,” Lu Guang says evenly. He ignores the cries of “Qiao Lingggggggg!” echoing through the apartment as he leaves.
Lu Guang returns to the front counter, pulling out several canisters of film that still needed to be developed for customers later this week. Thankfully, they don’t have any new clients from Qiao Ling. Lu Guang isn’t entirely sure how their powers would work if Cheng Xiaoshi was sick during a dive. His physiology tends to get transferred to the person in the past he possesses. Would their client start puking uncontrollably mid-dive? Lu Guang dreads the thought.
No, this is better. Let Cheng Xiaoshi sleep if off while Lu Guang tends to the studio. Cheng Xiaoshi will have to dip into his meager savings to pay for his half of the rest this month if he doesn’t come back to work in the next few days, but that can’t be helped. If he’s lucky, Qiao Ling will be merciful on him.
Lu Guang stares at the canisters on the counter before him. The studio is blessedly quiet without Cheng Xiaoshi’s usual chittering and loud pop music playing through the speakers of his phone. Lu Guang should be reveling in the silence, but he does feel marginally bad for leaving Cheng Xiaoshi by himself upstairs, no matter how irritating his dramatics are.
Lu Guang picks up his cell phone and dials Qiao Ling’s number.
---
Qiao Ling arrives around closing time, a paper bag full of groceries on her hip as she opens the front door to the Time Photo Studio, the pre-recorded greeting ringing through the silence.
“Is he in bed?” Qiao Ling asks, before remembering her manners and greeting Lu Guang properly.
Lu Guang waves away formalities. “He’s on the couch. He keeps calling for you,” he tells her, his normal deadpan tone giving way to the smallest hint of annoyance.
Qiao Ling rolls her eyes, but fondly, and hurries up the stairs. Lu Guang flips the sign on the door to ‘Closed’ and follows her up to the apartment.
“Where’s my patient?” Qiao Ling calls in a sing-song tone. A long, monotonous “uuuuuuuuuuhn” echoes back to her, indicating that Cheng Xiaoshi is still alive, and probably in the same condition Lu Guang left him in.
His assumptions are proven correct when Lu Guang follows Qiao Ling to the living room. Though now Cheng Xiaoshi has a hand over his forehead like a swooning maiden as well. Lu Guang crosses his arms at Cheng Xiaoshi’s childishness. He expects Qiao Ling to share in his annoyance, but she smiles good naturedly as she sits down on the edge of the couch to pull his hand from his face and replace it with her own, pushing his bangs back to feel his temperature.
Lu Guang ignores the odd feeling in his gut watching the tender gesture. Their relationship has always been a curious thing to him. As an only child, sibling dynamics have always been interesting to observe. Though they may not be related by blood, Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi have been together for half of their lives, and little moments like this show their closeness. While Lu Guang spent most of the day reluctant to get within a few feet of Cheng Xiaoshi, Qiao Ling presses her hand gently to his forehead with no hesitation, frowning at whatever she feels. Lu Guang wonders if he should have pushed past his own reservations and checked his temperature himself earlier. He silently curses them for not owning a thermometer.
“Sorry I’m late,” Qiao Ling tells Cheng Xiaoshi. “I was with Xu ShanShan and Dong Yi at the new noodle shop downtown and the trains were far behind schedule. I would have taken a cab back if I knew it was urgent.”
“I almost perished while you were gone. And Lu Guang just left me here!” Cheng Xiaoshi accuses sourly, making a face at Lu Guang that he pointedly ignores.
She pats his cheek twice. “Don’t be like that. Lu Guang was running the studio. Now,” she claps her hands together, “would you like some soup?”
Whatever dumb act Cheng Xiaoshi has been putting on for the whole conversation falls away from his face, his tired eyes lighting up again with genuine happiness. “Really?”
Qiao Ling smiles once more, then hefts her bag from the market back onto her hip and carries it to the kitchen.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and sleep in an actual bed for a while?” she calls over the rustling of the bag as she pulls ingredients out and sets them on their small counter. “Lu Guang can help you!”
Lu Guang isn’t sure what face he is making, but if he had to guess, it probably looks similar to the expression he made last week when he stepped in dog poop on the sidewalk. Cheng Xiaoshi stares back at him, eyes narrowed.
“I can take myself, actually.”
He pulls himself to his feet, albeit much slower than he would on a typical day. Cheng Xiaoshi is normally so bouncy and energetic that Lu Guang often wonders if he’s possessed by a child. Lu Guang’s own muted personality is only made more apparent the longer he spends time by Cheng Xiaoshi’s side.
Cheng Xiaoshi drapes the quilt over his shoulders and shuffles out of the room past Lu Guang. After he leaves, Lu Guang glances at the lined trash can they left by the couch; mercifully, it’s still empty.
Qiao Ling is already in the kitchen, pulling out a few of the ingredients from her bag and setting them on their cutting board beside their hot plate. Calling the meager set-up a “kitchen” is more generous than it deserves. With a sink and a few feet of counter space, the area barely counts as a kitchenette, but Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang make do. It’s not like either of them do much cooking anyway. Their singular hot plate is more than enough to boil water for cup noodles.
He approaches the kitchen and sits on a wooden chair near the counter, watching Qiao Ling as she chops vegetables.
“You’re being awfully nice to him.”
“And you’re being awfully cold,” she counters, thought she doesn’t sound upset by it. “What’s gotten you in such a mood? Did he do something?”
Lu Guang rests his chin on his fist. “No, he’s just been trying my patience all day.”
“That’s nothing new,” she says with a laugh. “He’s always like that when he’s sick. He used to drive my parents crazy when we were kids. Always wallowing and complaining whenever he got even the slightest cold.”
Lu Guang internally wilts. So he’s going to be dealing with dramatics like this every time Cheng Xiaoshi gets sick? How many times will he be written out of his will?
“And you humor him?” Lu Guang asks.
“He’s sick,” Qiao Ling says with a shrug. “It’s the one time I’ll let it slide.”
They fall into an easy silence for a few minutes, Qiao Ling getting a pot of broth simmering on the hot plate as she chops the vegetables, the quiet shuck shuck shuck of the knife against the wooden cutting board being the only sound in the room as Lu Guang reflects on his own attitude.
“What kind of soup are you making him?” Lu Guang asks after a while, peering at the ingredients spread across the counter.
“I’m honestly not sure,” Qiao Ling says dubiously. “When we were little, Cheng Xiaoshi used to always claim that his mom had a soup recipe that would cure you of just about anything. During all his complaining he would beg for his mother’s soup. Taking pity on him, I made him some when we were maybe eleven. He ate it, but according to him it tasted all wrong. It’s been my mission since then to try and replicate the recipe correctly.”
“Are you close?”
Qiao Ling shrugs and shakes her head. “Who knows?”
She points to a piece of paper she set on the counter earlier. A basic herbal soup recipe was written at the top, and the bottom had subsequent ingredients written down, scratched out, added quantity to, over and over again in a formless mess.
“These are all my attempts so far. I found out it starts with chicken bone broth. And contains daikon radishes. And root vegetables. And fennel. But the rest is just blind guessing. He tries to offer me suggestions, but I don’t even know if he remembers what the original tasted like at this point.”
“But you make him soup all the same?”
Qiao Ling nods. “I make him soup all the same. He likes being cared for.”
They devolve into silence once more, this time more comfortably than the last. Lu Guang observes Qiao Ling as she works, stirring the broth and submerging herbs in a small pouch made of cheesecloth. Occasionally, Lu Guang glances at the scribbled-over piece of paper, tallying up all of Qiao Ling’s attempts to replicate Cheng Xiaoshi’s mother’s recipe over the years. Given the amount of time Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling spent arguing, Lu Guang could hardly believe this caring and sweet side of Qiao Ling. They weren’t really siblings, but all the scribbles on that sheet of paper surely remind Lu Guang of something a sister would do for her brother.
After several cycles of simmering, taste-testing, adding ingredients, and simmering once more, Qiao Ling finally declares the soup to be finished. After searching their tiny kitchen and being unable to locate their small wooden serving tray, Qiao Ling settles for retrieving Cheng Xiaoshi from his bed and depositing him in the kitchen beside Lu Guang at the counter.
If his movements were slightly sluggish before, the slowness is only exaggerated now as he gingerly lowers himself to his seat. Lu Guang recalls the small dish of wonton strips and glass of water on the coffee table when he and Qiao Ling came to see him this evening, untouched from how Lu Guang had left them. Cheng Xiaoshi probably hasn’t had anything to eat or drink all day for fear of being sick again. The usually fluffy hair stuck to his temples with sweat indicates he probably does have a fever.
Lu Guang is so focused on Cheng Xiaoshi that he’s surprised when he looks down to see not one bowl of soup, but three being prepared by Qiao Ling.
“We all need to taste-test it, don’t we?” Qiao Ling says with a grin she aims at Cheng Xiaoshi. She slides the bowls across the counter to the boys and places a bowl in front of herself as well.
Cheng Xiaoshi, though still looking haggard, grins back like this is custom, and digs into his soup with a gusto Lu Guang didn’t think he was capable of, given his ailment. Across the counter, Qiao Ling sips from her spoon as well. Not wanting to be rude, Lu Guang dips his spoon into his bowl and brings it to his lips, tasting the soup Qiao Ling has spent the past few hours perfecting. Warmth floods his chest as he swallows the spoonful, and despite not being sick himself, Lu Guang can feel the earthy root vegetables and flavorful broth breathing new life into him. He had no idea Qiao Ling was such a fantastic cook.
“Well?” Qiao Ling asks, looking to Cheng Xiaoshi, who was currently devouring his bowl like he thinks it might be taken from him if he slows down.
He stops suddenly, his spoon clanking against his bowl. He swallows thoughtfully.
“I think you’re getting close!” he says, his smile as sunny as ever. His tone isn’t patronizing; there’s a naïve kindness to it that prevents Qiao Ling from being hurt, though there is a slight disappointment in her eyes that Lu Guang catches, though Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t seem to. It must be frustrating that after all these attempts she’s yet to nail down the correct flavor.
“Maybe it could use more sweetness?” Cheng Xiaoshi muses, like that was something common in bone broth soups.
Nonetheless, Qiao Ling jots down the critique on her cheat sheet diligently, the character for “sweeter” followed by several question marks. Lu Guang doesn’t blame her confusion. His critique is both vague and unhelpful.
All of them finish their bowls of soup, regardless of lack of sweetness. Lu Guang can’t help but marvel at the rich and flavorful taste of the soup, whipped together in only a few hours’ time. When Cheng Xiaoshi begins nodding off at the counter, Qiao Ling places a hand on his shoulder and instructs him to go back to bed.
He nods, sending her a sleepy smile before turning to leave the kitchen.
“Thank you, my landlady!” he says jovially.
“Bah, bah, get out of her before I charge you for it,” Qiao Ling says, sounding more like her usual self, though with the same gentle teasing in her tone she’s been using all day.
Lu Guang waits for Cheng Xiaoshi to leave the room before turning to look Qiao Ling in the eye.
“Sweeter?”
Qiao Ling sucks her lips in for a moment, trying to hold it back, but eventually giggles tumble out of her, the sound of her laughter bouncing off the tiles of the kitchen. Even Lu Guang snorts, unable to help himself.
“He’s always like this,” she says fondly, as she begins ladling the soup into smaller containers to fit in Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi’s fridge. “I try to make him the soup he wants, but he’s so unhelpful. What could have possibly made her soup sweet? Beets?” she asks incredulously. “That would change the color of the broth too much, though. Ah! I can’t even make a guess right now. One day I’m just going to put a spoonful of sugar in his bowl and see if that makes a difference.”
Lu Guang chuckles softly and offers to finish the dishes for her since she cooked the meal. She stays in the apartment a little while longer, chatting with Lu Guang while he washes, and she dries. Afterwards, Lu Gung instructs Qiao Ling to go home before it gets too dark. Qiao Ling agrees, going upstairs to check on Cheng Xiaoshi once more before leaving for the night.
Lu Guang ponders staying downstairs for a few minutes, allowing Cheng Xiaoshi time to get settled into sleep before going up to their room. He has a book he’s been meaning to finish, so Lu Guang goes to the living room and turns on a small lamp, prepared to stay a while.
He only manages to read a few pages before he hears rustling from the top of the stairs, and soon Cheng Xiaoshi is descending them slowly, still wrapped in his quilt.
“I thought you were going to bed,” says Lu Guang.
Cheng Xiaoshi shakes his head petulantly. “I’ve been sleeping all day! I don’t think I can anymore. Watch something with me.”
Lu Guang looks at the novel in his hands, then back to his roommate uncertainly. Cheng Xiaoshi looks at him with hopeful eyes, like he’s a child and Lu Guang is a strict parent deciding whether he’s allowed to stay up past curfew. He really does revert into a younger state when he’s sick.
Lu Guang knows he should tell Cheng Xiaoshi to go back to bed; rest was an important part of getting well again, and even in the dim light he can still see how pale his complexion is. But Cheng Xiaoshi blinks his brown eyes at him once more and Lu Guang feels himself giving in.
“Fine,” Lu Guang says, sounding resigned. He ignores the way his face warms when Cheng Xiaoshi smiles at him and plops down right beside him on the couch. “But only for a short while.” He leans forward to open his laptop on the coffee table and pull up a movie from a few days ago that they never finished. When he leans back on the couch, Cheng Xiaoshi is practically sidled up next to him, legs touching and giant quilt pressing into Lu Guang’s side.
Lu Guang raises an eyebrow, before adding:
“And if you puke on me, I’m never speaking to you again.”
Cheng Xiaoshi laughs and scoots over to the other side of the couch instead. Lu Guang uses his foot to push the small garbage can to Cheng Xiaoshi’s side of the couch as well, though he doesn’t think Cheng Xiaoshi has gotten sick since this morning.
The tense atmosphere from the day has finally fallen from between them, and they watch the movie peacefully. Whenever Lu Guang glances at Cheng Xiaoshi from the corner of his eye, his eyes are bright.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lu Guang jolts awake to the sound of dinging beside his ear.
His alarm. It was just his alarm. He looks around the room in the dim light of the morning sun. His books are still neatly piled on the desk, Cheng Xiaoshi’s clothes from yesterday are still scattered across the floor. He breathes slowly.
He thought this would be easier. He’d only experienced Cheng Xiaoshi being gone from this world for a few hours, so by comparison a world where he softly snores beneath Lu Guang, oblivious to his phone’s own buzzing alarm, should be normal by comparison. But being in this timeline is like wearing a shirt that’s buttoned up wrong. Maybe it’s his body, a year younger, that feels so odd. Maybe it’s this room, this hazy, peaceful atmosphere that’s getting to him. His alarm is still distantly ringing in his ears, and it sounds so much like the sirens from that night. He’s been in this new (old?) life for a month, but nothing has felt comfortable yet.
Lu Guang tries not to dwell on it as he quietly climbs down the ladder of their shared bunkbed and makes his way to the kitchen in his t-shirt and sleep shorts. He’ll make them tea, fix up a simple breakfast, and keep pretending that a month ago his hands weren’t soaked in the hot pulses of Cheng Xiaoshi’s blood. Lu Guang can still feel the crusty sensation of where it dried between his fingers. He washes his hands, taking extra time to scrub them like the phantom blood can finally be burned from his skin’s memory if he uses water that’s hot enough.
When his skin starts to feel sensitive, he finally gives it a rest. He needs to stop doing that. Cheng Xiaoshi is going to notice his scrubbing one of these days and question him about it. He dries his hands on a dishtowel, a fleck of blood still visible only to him on his right knuckle. He won’t wash it again, he won’t wash it again, he won’t—
Where is Cheng Xiaoshi anyway? Shouldn’t he be up by now?
Lu Guang shoves his hands in his pockets and ascends the stairs. He wonders how he should wake him. He doesn’t want to startle him, but Cheng Xiaoshi’s laziness is going to cut breakfast short. Now when they open the studio, he’s going to spend all morning complaining about his hunger, and Lu Guang will spend all morning secretly considering ordering delivery for him, before reminding himself that he never would have done that two years ago to placate him.
Lu Guang’s head is still buzzing with too many colliding thoughts when Cheng Xiaoshi whips open their bedroom door and flies past him, slamming the bathroom door shut louder than necessary.
Lu Guang sighs and paces over the bathroom door, calling “Hurry up in there or we’re going to be—”
That’s about all he gets out before he hears a horrible guttural cough, then the echoing sound of liquid splashing against the toilet water.
Oh.
Lu Guang had forgotten all about this day. This was the first time he had seen Cheng Xiaoshi sick. He’d spent the morning throwing up and the afternoon wasting away on their couch in the living room, whining while Lu Guang tried to figure out what was wrong.
“Cheng Xiaoshi? What’s wrong?” Lu Guang calls through the bathroom door.
More retching. A dumb question, but he’s sure he must have asked something like this the first time around. He opens the bathroom door slowly, peering in to see Cheng Xiaoshi kneeling before their toilet, forehead resting on his forearms as he pants.
“Sick,” Cheng Xiaoshi replies finally, like that wasn’t glaringly obvious.
“Do you think you can stand?” Lu Guang asks.
Cheng Xiaoshi nods, panting for a moment longer before pulling himself to his feet carefully. He leaves the bathroom, and they speak for a moment before Cheng Xiaoshi rushes back to the bathroom a second time. Lu Guang already knows, but says anyway, “You’re in no condition to work today. You should go back to sleep.”
He doesn’t remember Cheng Xiaoshi looking this miserable. His skin is pale and clammy, his bangs hanging limply in front of his eyes as he nods. Lu Guang helps him to his feet this time, allowing himself to keep a hand between Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulders as he walks him to the couch. He leaves for a moment to get him a quilt to cover up with and remembers to grab the wastepaper basket from their room, too, lest Cheng Xiaoshi need to be sick again and not be able to make it to the toilet. Did he continue throwing up the rest of the day? Lu Guang wishes he had committed more of these days to memory.
He passes the quilt over to Cheng Xiaoshi, setting the basket on the floor and lining it with a plastic bag.
“Do you think it was something you ate?”
“How should I know? It’s not like it was written in the bottom of the toilet bowl!” he says indignantly.
Lu Guang never ended up getting sick last time, and they ate the same food yesterday, so he doubts it was food poisoning. Most likely a 24-hour bug that Cheng Xiaoshi was unfortunate to catch. Lu Guang watches Cheng Xiaoshi wrap the quilt around his shoulders, going as far as to pull it over his head as he shivered. Lu Guang doesn’t know how he missed Cheng Xiaoshi’s fever before. He’s obviously freezing right now. Guilt claws at Lu Guang’s throat. He swallows it down.
“It’s probably a stomach virus,” he says curtly.
Cheng Xiaoshi looks at him pitifully. “Can you cure me, Lu Guang?”
Lu Guang internally reminds himself of all the good times he will spend with Cheng Xiaoshi after this. One day of sickness is not the end of the world (Lu Guang already knows what that is), so he shouldn’t feel so terrible about leaving Cheng Xiaoshi alone. It’s what he did last time, so he has to follow the flow of the timeline.
“No. What I can do is go down to open the studio. And you can stay up here and keep your puke away from the customers.”
“You’re leaving me?” Cheng Xiaoshi cries. “In my hour of need, you’re going to abandon me?”
Never, he thinks desperately. But this is not the same as that night.
It’s not that serious, Lu Guang reminds himself. It’s one day of being apart from him. The first time this happened Lu Guang had been secretly pleased to be away from Cheng Xiaoshi’s sickness. He didn’t know how to deal with taking care of someone, and it seemed easier to leave Cheng Xiaoshi to his own devices while Lu Guang managed their responsibilities with the studio. He tries to channel that energy now, putting on a show of rolling his eyes at Cheng Xiaoshi.
“I’m going to be directly underneath you, idiot. Just call me if you need something. Someone has to pay rent this month.”
“Do you think Qiao Ling will come to take care of me?”
“Maybe later,” Lu Guang says, thinking of Qiao Ling and her morale-saving soup showing up later today.
“Later? I’m sick now,” Cheng Xiaoshi laments, trying to sit up without jostling himself.
Suddenly, Cheng Xiaoshi sucks in a sharp breath; Lu Guang’s back straightens at the noise.
It’s too similar to the sounds Cheng Xiaoshi made that night. Lu Guang’s skin pebbles with a sudden chill, and his palms begin to sweat instinctively. He can feel the world begin to spin when Cheng Xiaoshi leans forward and throws up what’s left in him in the garbage can beside him.
The sound and the smell and the memories are too much for him, so Lu Guang turns on his heel and leaves the room.
---
This is not a great time to be having a panic attack. Lu Guang has closed himself in the darkroom and is currently counting backwards from one hundred, telling himself that Cheng Xiaoshi is fine and that today is normal and that no one is gasping for their last breaths right now, blood gurgling from a bullet hole in their chest.
But he’s fucked things up. Lu Guang doesn’t remember how he left Cheng Xiaoshi last time, but it wasn’t that suddenly and it definitely wasn’t mid-puke. So now on top of controlling the PTSD he’s not supposed to have, Lu Guang also must control the panic that he’s fucking up a timeline he’s not supposed to know about. There’s too many fears to keep track of, and the day has hardly even begun. Lu Guang looks down at his shaking hands, then immediately regrets that choice, the red lighting of the darkroom not helping his spiraling mental state at all.
He goes to the bathroom in the studio, splashing water on his face and washing his hands for far longer than necessary before leaving, then heads back up to the apartment to fix things.
Cheng Xiaoshi looks at him bitterly.
“I—” Lu Guang looks at him guiltily. “I don’t do well around puking.”
“I noticed,” Cheng Xiaoshi says.
“I’m sorry,” Lu Guang says, not knowing what else to say.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression softens. Lu Guang could never understand this. How easily forgiven he was.
He grabs the trash can and empties it into the garbage in the kitchen, returning it by Cheng Xiaoshi’s side with a fresh bag in it.
Concern paints Cheng Xiaoshi’s pale features. “Are you sure you aren’t sick too, Lu Guang? You don’t look well.”
Lu Guang remembers his quest to return to the normal timeline before he hits an unchangeable node.
“I’m fine. I should go open the studio. I have my phone, so call if you need anything.”
He heads downstairs, and after a few minutes of preparation, opens the studio. The world won’t stop turning just because of one man’s existential crisis. The morning is mostly quiet, only a few customers coming in to pick up prints from the day before. Lu Guang could spend his free moments developing more photographs in the darkroom, but he can’t bear to go back into the red lighting alone just yet. He spends the morning dusting the studio and wiping down the front windows, completing small, menial tasks while he waits for lunchtime to go check on Cheng Xiaoshi.
He doesn’t call, but Lu Guang doesn’t expect him to, so the morning passes by in relative peace. It reminds Lu Guang of times when Cheng Xiaoshi is on a dive and Lu Guang is left to take care of things while he’s gone. He’s used to this, so he tries not to let it bother him that precious moments he could be spending with Cheng Xiaoshi are being wasted alone.
At lunchtime he closes the studio and returns to the apartment. Cheng Xiaoshi is right where he left him, the quilt pulled up to his chin as he lies on the couch.
“Lu Guaaaaaang…” Cheng Xiaoshi moans, long and desperate. “Everything huuuurts.”
“What hurts?” Lu Guang asks. His body, probably. With the fever and shivering his whole body probably aches. “Is it your stomach still? Your body? Are you going to be sick again?”
Cheng Xiaoshi only grumbles irritably. “You ask too many questions.”
Lu Guang lets out a controlled breath. Ah, there’s the irritation he should have been channeling all morning.
“I’m trying to help you. Be more specific about your symptoms, Cheng Xiaoshi.”
“I’m dying, is that specific enough for you?”
Lu Guang’s irritation evaporates, the breath punched out of him. He’s kidding. Lu Guang knows it’s a joke, but it’s not one he likes.
Cheng Xiaoshi ignores whatever expression is on Lu Guang’s face, rolling his eyes back in fake agony. “I’m not gonna make it. Call Qiao Ling. Tell her to come quickly so I can update my will.”
It’s a stupid impulse, but Lu Guang can’t stand it. He needs to touch him. To feel Cheng Xiaoshi, alive, beneath his palms. Lu Guang sits on the edge of the couch, reaching forward towards Cheng Xiaoshi’s face. He opens his eyes suddenly, flinching away from Lu Guang’s touch.
“What are you doing?” he squeaks.
Lu Guang thinks fast. “I’m trying to check your temperature, idiot. We don’t have a thermometer.”
Cheng Xiaoshi blinks a few times, then gingerly leans forward, letting Lu Guang’s cool fingers brush his damp bangs back and rest on his forehead for a moment. Something inside Lu Guang settles at the contact. He’s warm, but not dangerously so. Lu Guang feels his own forehead for comparison with his other hand, and notes that the difference between them is minute.
“A slight fever,” he confirms after a few more seconds. His hand trails down Cheng Xiaoshi’s temple of its own accord before Lu Guang pulls it away reluctantly. Cheng Xiaoshi frowns like he’s disappointed.
Lu Guang stands up. “I’ll see if we have any medicine.”
He leaves the room, mostly to put space between them, and searches the kitchenette for medicine he knows he won’t find. Their kitchen was rarely ever stocked with things they actually needed. It took a long time for Lu Guang to finally begin purchasing useful things for their apartment, like medicine or first aid kits. Right now, all their cupboards are stuffed to the brim with cup noodles and other convenience food. Lu Guang sighs. It will be so long before they can afford nicer groceries.
He returns empty-handed. Cheng Xiaoshi doesn’t look surprised.
“I don’t know what you expected to find,” he says with a sad snort.
Lu Guang sighs. He needs to get back to the studio. He goes back to the kitchen once more and returns with a glass of water and a dish of plain wonton strips.
“Here. This should be simple enough to digest. Try to eat something and see if you can keep it down. And make sure to drink water. I’ll come check on you in a few hours.”
If leaving him was hard a few hours ago, now it’s taking a Herculean amount of strength to leave Cheng Xiaoshi behind. Lu Guang has to stand at the front counter of Time Photo Studio and pretend to be a normal person while his mind is still lingering on the feeling of Cheng Xiaoshi’s clammy skin beneath his hand. He could have gotten him a wet cloth to put on his forehead, at least. He debates going back up, but a customer comes in, and Lu Guang’s attention is needed elsewhere.
After they leave, Lu Guang tackles the darkroom, finally. Leaving these photos for another day could mess up the timeline somehow, and it’s imperative that he keeps things the same. The critical node he’s waiting to change hasn’t happened yet.
He tips a photo back and forth in the developer fluid, wondering if he’d crossed a line to reach for Cheng Xiaoshi the way he did earlier. Lu Guang tended to avoid physical contact in the past. It wasn’t something he was used to, before he met Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang had kept firm physical boundaries between himself and others, holding himself at a distance.
But with Cheng Xiaoshi, there was no such thing as distance. If Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t casually leaning into Lu Guang’s personal space, he was slinging an arm around his neck, grabbing his sleeve, nuzzling his face into Lu Guang’s shoulder to get his attention. Lu Guang couldn’t fathom that other people could be this physical, and it always confounded him. It didn’t take long in their friendship for Lu Guang to give up on pushing Cheng Xiaoshi away. It was clear he wasn’t ever going to stop invading Lu Guang’s space, and after a while it stopped feeling invasive, truthfully.
But Lu Guang had never been the type to initiate contact. That was one of the toughest parts of being in this timeline, if he was being honest.
---
Lu Guang had realized just how difficult restraining himself could be on his first day in this timeline.
He had only had a few hours to think about it. After declaring Cheng Xiaoshi dead, the police officers had dragged Lu Guang back to the station to question him. Despite Captain Xiao’s patience with him, they could barely get a word out of him, much less a helpful statement. They wanted specifics, any clues to help them with the serial killer case, but Lu Guang could barely breathe, staring at his shaking hands in the bright fluorescent light of the station. Lu Guang didn’t care about answers, he only cared about fixing things.
After a few hours, an officer drove him back to the studio. Lu Guang bounded upstairs, his mind already made up. He would save Cheng Xiaoshi if it was the last thing he did.
He sat down at their shared desk, a picture he took from one year ago lying before him. He could have waited longer to make the decision, but waiting was not going to bring Cheng Xiaoshi back. This might.
Clap!
Lu Guang blinked. The bleak shadows of their bedroom were replaced instantly with streaks of afternoon sunlight streaming in through the large windows of the living room. Lu Guang lowered the phone in his hands, looking at the photo of a small slip of paper resting on his knee—a fortune from a fortune cookie.
“Well?”
The sound of his voice, bright and curious, made Lu Guang flinch.
“What does it say, Lu Guang?”
Lu Guang looked up.
And there he was. Cheng Xiaoshi, staring at him, breathing and alive and wearing his pristine varsity jacket, un-stained by blood. He looked at Lu Guang expectantly, and Lu Guang threw himself at him.
Barely able to contain his emotions, Lu Guang crashed into Cheng Xiaoshi and pulled him into a breathtaking embrace, almost knocking the takeout from his hands.
“Lu Guang?” Cheng Xiaoshi had shouted in surprise, not knowing what else to say with the sudden attack of affection.
Lu Guang held tight to Cheng Xiaoshi, feeling his hair tickle his cheek and breathing in his scent. He’d been dead. Just hours before. The police were mid-investigation with a serial killer on the loose, and Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang had gotten too close. Cheng Xiaoshi was unexpectedly killed, dying as he lay in Lu Guang’s arms. He could still hear Cheng Xiaoshi’s stuttering gasps as the blood gurgled out of the wound in his chest. Lu Guang’s dry palms still felt slick with the sensation of warm blood.
Lu Guang was so grateful for another chance, another moment with Cheng Xiaoshi. He almost lost himself in the sensation of feeling him, warm and safe and alive in his arms.
But then the second rule of diving flashed through his head like lightning.
Change nothing.
This was his first lesson.
“What’s wrong, Lu Guang?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked him.
Lu Guang stepped away suddenly, still marveling at the sound of Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice and reeling for an excuse. He awkwardly returned to his chair and picked up the piece of paper he was taking a picture of when he’d reinhabited the past.
“My fortune,” he said stiffly. “It told me to hug a treasured friend.”
Cheng Xiaoshi beamed at his response. “Does it bring good luck?”
“Sure,” Lu Guang said, trying to recover when everything about Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile made him want to cry. It worked. He’d dove back in time and would find a way to fix everything. He’d find a way to make it up to Cheng Xiaoshi for losing him before.
But the damage to the timeline had already been done. The rest of the day Cheng Xiaoshi kept bringing it up.
“Don’t you think you should let your treasured friend handle that invoice for you?”
“C’mon, Lu Guang! Try the crane. I’m here with you to bring you good fortune after all.”
Lu Guang couldn’t escape it. One misstep, and he’d already altered the timeline. He’d never understood why following directions during a dive was so hard for Cheng Xiaoshi, but it was becoming clearer now.
It wasn’t until they were in their apartment that night, Qiao Ling meeting them to discuss a new client, that things shifted back to normal.
Qiao Ling stood in the living room, thumbing through posts on her phone, when Cheng Xiaoshi brought it up.
“Hey Qiao Ling, did you know that I’m Lu Guang’s treasured friend?” he asked, pointing to leftover fortune cookies. Lu Guang had trashed the piece of paper from before, not letting Cheng Xiaoshi read the message on it that contradicted his odd behavior. “I’ve been bringing him good fortune all day!” he said proudly.
Qiao Ling didn’t look from up from the phone she was scrolling through, which didn’t have its usual bunny case.
“Hey, Lu Guang,” she said, unimpressed, “could you tell your lucky charm that if he stopped spending money on mobile gatcha games and take-out he might be able to afford his monthly rent?”
“Hey, that’s my phone!” Cheng Xiaoshi shouted, pushing past Lu Guang to fight Qiao Ling for his cell phone. His reach was longer, so after a second of wrestling it was back in his hands. “How did you even unlock it?”
Qiao Ling sneered. “If you’re foolish enough to make your password your birthday then you deserved it. Look, I bet Lu Guang’s password is harder to crack. He’s younger than you but still wiser. Right, Lu Guang?”
Lu Guang blinked, suddenly remembering this conversation from the first time they had it. His password was also his birthday.
Cheng Xiaoshi burst into laughter, knowing Lu Guang’s password to be just as easy as his, and Lu Guang fumbled with his settings, slinking shamefully over to the other side of the room to change it out of their line of sight, like he had years ago. He silently thanked Qiao Ling for returning the conversation back to the normal flow of the timeline. He needed to remember not to slip up like he did today. There was a larger node he was aiming to change, and he couldn’t falter in the early stages.
He looked down at his phone’s password settings and gave himself a reminder.
“Are you going to tell me your new one?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked, throwing his arm over Lu Guang’s shoulder and leaning into his personal space.
There it was again. Lu Guang’s heartbeat tripled at the sensation of Cheng Xiaoshi so close to him. Lu Guang resisted the urge to pull Cheng Xiaoshi in closer, to revel in the sound of his breathing and the feeling of his pulse. If the old Lu Guang didn’t do those things, he couldn’t do them either.
If Lu Guang was a little slower in pushing him away, well. That was neither here nor there.
---
Lu Guang shakes his head at the memory as he pins the photos on the line to dry and leaves the darkroom. The sun is dipping behind the buildings across the street, so it must be close to closing time. Lu Guang looks at his watch. Any minute now, Qiao Ling will be bursting through the studio door to make Cheng Xiaoshi her magical soup, reviving him from his illness and returning the vitality to him. Lu Guang checks the register to make sure the till is correctly counted, glancing at the front door every few minutes.
After a while it begins to unnerve him. Was she this late last time? Lu Guang could swear she came around closing time. Lu Guang opens his phone to check for messages from her, swiping over to his Recent Calls menu to ask where she is.
Lu Guang’s blood congeals in his veins.
His last few Outgoing Calls are all to Cheng Xiaoshi, from days ago. Lu Guang hasn’t spoken with Qiao Ling today.
If he hasn’t called Qiao Ling, that means she doesn’t even know Cheng Xiaoshi is sick. If she doesn’t know he’s sick, she is unaware that she is supposed to urgently come to the studio. If she doesn’t come quickly, she won’t have time to make Cheng Xiaoshi her replicated recipe. If she doesn’t make the soup, the timeline—
Lu Guang puts his hands to his head, his fingers gripping the roots of his hair as he pulls in frustration.
This can’t be happening. Just one slip up, and everything could fall apart. What if eating Qiao Ling’s soup was a critical node? Lu Guang’s painstaking care of keeping this timeline the same will all be undone because he forgot to make a single phone call.
Lu Guang tries to ignore the tremor in his hands as he dials Qiao Ling’s number.
“He’s sick?” Qiao Ling asks him. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell me sooner. I could have taken care of him so you could keep running the studio.”
“I still opened today. Cheng Xiaoshi is upstairs.”
“You left him alone?” she asks. There’s a little too much emotion packed into the question for Lu Guang to overlook.
“Should I not have?”
Qiao Ling hesitates. “No, it’s—it’s fine…he’s just sensitive about being left alone. You know.”
You know.
She leaves the implication dangling before him. Lu Guang wants to slap himself. He did know. And now this is the second time he’s left Cheng Xiaoshi by himself when he was feeling vulnerable. Lu Guang burns with shame.
“He’s been asking for you,” Lu Guang tells her, feeling defeated. “Is there any chance you could stop by?”
“Probably not tonight,” she says. Lu Guang’s heart sinks even further. “There’s an event going on downtown. All the trains are behind schedule, and it will be impossible to hail a cab in the crowd. You said he was asking for me? He probably just wants—well, it doesn’t matter now. Tell him I can stop by tomorrow if he’s still feeling unwell, okay?”
Their phone call ends shortly afterwards. Lu Guang stares out the window of the studio, watching the sky become streaked in pinks and purples. It’s getting late. He supposes there’s nothing else to do but to face Cheng Xiaoshi. He doubts there’s any way to recover the timeline now. All he can hope for is that today’s missteps didn’t change any critical nodes for the future.
Lu Guang’s limbs feel heavy as he climbs the stairs, every changed minute weighing down his body as he goes to check on his friend. Cheng Xiaoshi is exactly where Lu Guang left him, though now he has an arm thrown over his eyes, trying to block out the rays of the setting sun as they beam in through the windows of the sunroom.
“Hey.” Lu Guang sits in the chair beside the couch.
Cheng Xiaoshi pulls his arm away from his pale face. His eyebrows draw up in concern. “Hey. Are you okay?”
Lu Guang can’t even fathom what his expression must look like right now. “Yeah, just tired.”
Even though he’s ill, Cheng Xiaoshi still manages to grin. “Looks like someone is finally realizing how much work I do in the studio. And you say I don’t pull my own weight.”
Lu Guang tries for a smile, though he doesn’t think he quite manages it. “You’re right. Today was hard without you.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Cheng Xiaoshi sits up gingerly. “If you’re sick too, you should say something.” His concern almost cheers Lu Guang up, but then he continues, “When Qiao Ling gets here, you can ask her for some—”
“Qiao Ling isn’t coming.”
He keeps his eyes trained on his lap, so he doesn’t have to see Cheng Xiaoshi’s disappointed expression.
Lu Guang is so tired. He wishes he could freeze this conversation, this whole day, and go nap for a thousand hours. The stress of it all is sucking the marrow from his bones. He wishes he could do today over again. He doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to do today over again. The longer Lu Guang exists in this timeline, the more he wonders if his mission is even possible. Will living in the past really allow Lu Guang to eventually change Cheng Xiaoshi’s future? Or is Cheng Xiaoshi existing on borrowed time? He thinks of today’s mistakes, piling up on one another, how one misstep can change the entire course of the future, and feels dizzy.
He jumps a bit when the feeling of cool glass brushes against his knuckles. Cheng Xiaoshi is pushing a glass of water into his hand.
“Drink.”
Cheng Xiaoshi’s stern command is so absolute that Lu Guang actually obeys, taking a sip of the water, which turns into a gulp, which turns to him finishing the glass.
Cheng Xiaoshi pushes the plate of wonton strips across the table to Lu Guang, who delicately takes one and crunches down on it.
“Better?” Cheng Xiaoshi asks.
Lu Guang nods. The world has righted itself a little, and the shining edges of his vision have receded back to normalcy. He looks down at the empty glass in his hand, the dish on the table. Recognition hits him.
“I left these out for you,” Lu Guang accuses.
Cheng Xiaoshi shrugs, the blanket slipping from his shoulder a little. “You looked like you needed them more.”
Lu Guang sighs. “You haven’t eaten anything today, have you?”
He shrugs again. “Not hungry.”
Lu Guang thinks of the last time he lived this day, and the way Cheng Xiaoshi devoured his meal. He doesn’t believe him.
“It’s just that…normally, when I’m sick—” Cheng Xiaoshi cuts himself off, like he doesn’t want to say it and make Lu Guang feel worse.
Lu Guang finishes his thought for him. “Qiao Ling normally cooks for you, doesn’t she?”
“It’s not just that. It’s stupid, really,” Cheng Xiaoshi says, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s a tradition she started when we were kids. She tries to recreate a dish my mom made for me when I was little.”
Even after years of knowing him, Lu Guang can’t remember Cheng Xiaoshi ever telling him this story himself. Should Lu Guang have thought to ask?
“What dish?” he asks carefully.
“Just soup,” he says, sounding shy. “I guess when I was little it was difficult getting me to eat nutritious foods. When I was sick my mom would make this incredible soup that had a ton of nutritional value, but somehow didn’t taste bad! It was like she covered up the taste of every awful vegetable somehow.” Cheng Xiaoshi looks down, fiddling with the edge of his quilt. “I never really questioned how she made all those healthy things taste so good. Special mom powers, I guess.”
Now Lu Guang remembers why he never asked for this story. He never liked this, hearing fond memories about Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents. He’d never tell him, but Lu Guang hates them. He hates how they abandoned their son and constantly villainizes them in his head whenever Cheng Xiaoshi brings them up.
He also hates them because he can’t stand the way Cheng Xiaoshi looks after talking about them. The sad, distant look in his eyes as his gaze trails back to the door, like part of him is always waiting for them to return through it.
Lu Guang stands suddenly, startling Cheng Xiaoshi. “What was in this soup?”
“Lu Guang?”
Lu Guang rifles through a drawer in their kitchenette, locating a piece of scrap paper. “What were the ingredients?”
Cheng Xiaoshi looks dumbstruck, still not entirely sure what Lu Guang’s intent is. “I’m not sure. Qiao Ling has been trying to recreate it for years.”
“Then tell me the ingredients you know to be correct. I’ll try to make it.”
“You don’t know how to cook!” Cheng Xiaoshi says incredulously. “And you definitely don’t know how to make soup.”
Lu Guang does. A year from now Cheng Xiaoshi will make him a bowl of noodles so lumpy and overcooked that Lu Guang will actually learn to cook just to spite him and make a better bowl. He knows enough to get by, not that Cheng Xiaoshi would know that right now.
“I’ve seen cooking shows,” he responds flippantly, grabbing his wallet from the table and putting it in his back pocket. “I’ll figure it out. Now, what ingredients can you remember?”
Cheng Xiaoshi rattles off a few ingredients absently, a look of disbelief on his face as Lu Guang jots them down on his paper. Lu Guang mentally tacks on a few other ingredients, remembering that they were in Qiao Ling’s soup when she made it for them originally. He wishes he could remember everything on her scribbled over recipe sheet, but this will have to do for now.
Lu Guang looks at the ingredients and nods. He makes it all the way to the stairs before stopping short. He turns to Cheng Xiaoshi, quilt still loosely wrapped around his shoulders and bewildered expression still plastered on his pale face.
“Will you be fine on your own while I go to the market?” he asks seriously.
Cheng Xiaoshi blinks at the question.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
Lu Guang nods. “Call if you need anything.”
---
The trip to the market is quick. Lu Guang grabs herbs, spices, and fresh vegetables— foods that until now would have been considered a luxury for him and Cheng Xiaoshi. If there’s a possibility it could go in a healing soup, Lu Guang adds it to his basket. He pays for it all with little concern for the few bills remaining in his wallet and hurries back to the studio.
Lu Guang paces down the road, lined with shadows now that the sun has almost fully set, with a paper bag in his arms full of ingredients he only kind of knows how to cook. He enters the studio and goes straight upstairs to Cheng Xiaoshi, who must have watched him walk up the road from the window, clammy handprint still on the glass behind him as he turns to look at Lu Guang.
Lu Guang wonders if his own expression matches the unsure one on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face.
“Well,” he starts uncomfortably. He looks down at the ingredients in the bag, which look much more intimidating now that he’s standing before Cheng Xiaoshi with them. He clears his throat delicately. “I’m going to get started.
“Let me help you—” Cheng Xiaoshi starts, trying to stand. He blinks rapidly and falls back to the couch, too lightheaded from not eating all day.
Lu Guang fills another glass of water and takes the added step to put it directly in Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand this time, the same way Cheng Xiaoshi did earlier with him. He doesn’t speak until he sees Cheng Xiaoshi take a tiny, tentative sip.
“You should be resting,” Lu Guang says. “Let me do this for you.”
The flush in cheeks probably has more to do with the illness than anything, but Cheng Xiaoshi’s expression is swirl of emotions as he relents, leaning back into the couch with a quiet “okay.”
Lu Guang returns to the kitchenette with his bag of spoils. He’d sat with Qiao Ling for the entire time that she made her healing soup the last time, so it shouldn’t be that hard to recreate a facsimile, right? Simmer some broth, chop a few vegetables, do something with herbs, how difficult could it be?
He puts their one large pot on top of their hot plate and dumps in a container’s worth of store-bought chicken bone broth. He turns on the hot plate. Step one complete.
“You should have the herbs in there already,” Lu Guang hears an annoying voice call from behind him.
He looks over his shoulder at a snuggled-up Cheng Xiaoshi, eyes closed and breathing too evenly for someone who was awake but two minutes ago.
Grumbling under his breath, Lu Guang turns off the heat and pulls out the tiny cutting board they have, ripping a few sprigs of each herb off their stems. He sets them on the board, knife hovering over them, but hesitates. Did Qiao Ling chop these?
“She normally puts them in whole.”
Lu Guang rolls his eyes and puts the knife down, reaching over the pot with his handful of herbs.
“In a bag.”
His hand stills.
“Made of cheesecloth.”
“Cheng Xiaoshi!”
Now Lu Guang is glaring over his shoulder. Cheng Xiaoshi smirks in his “sleep.”
It goes on like that for a while, with Lu Guang completing a handful of steps before a certain sleeping patient’s voice drifts from behind him with some unsolicited advice. Eventually Lu Guang gives up on pretenses and pulls a chair up to the kitchenette and glares at it pointedly until Cheng Xiaoshi happily takes a seat. Lu Guang only lets him stay after he finishes his whole glass of water.
But it’s…nice. Neither of them have ever been good cooks. And it won’t be months until they’ve built up a strong enough reputation from diving to earn them some real money for groceries. But it reminds Lu Guang of a time not that long ago, a time that hasn’t yet happened, where he and Cheng Xiaoshi would stand in their tiny kitchenette, shoulder to shoulder, as they argued about how much bean paste to put in their mapo tofu. Emotion still claws at his throat when he thinks of it, of a Cheng Xiaoshi older than the one before him (though not much more mature) whose days were unknowingly numbered. Lu Guang stops cooking twice to scrub his hands in the sink at the thought of it.
“It’s no wonder you never get sick, Lu Guang,” Cheng Xiaoshi says as he watches Lu Guang paw at the edge of the sink for their bar of soap. “Surgeons probably wash their hands less often than you.”
Lu Guang pauses, looking at the red, sudsy skin on his hands. He swallows and rinses them off.
The whole cooking process takes about an hour. Lu Guang wonders if he should let it cook longer, but with how famished Cheng Xiaoshi looks after a day of not eating, he’s not sure he wants to wait any longer.
“It’s probably done,” he says, trying to sound sure of himself as he turns off the heat. He looks over at his scrap sheet once more, wondering what ingredients from Qiao Ling’s paper he might have missed in preparing this dish. With Chinese yams and codonopsis root, it should at least help Cheng Xiaoshi’s digestion, thought Lu Guang can’t speak for the taste. He’s about to start rooting through their kitchenette for a clean bowl when a memory hits him. Qiao Ling’s blocky handwriting, a word with several question marks after it. She and Lu Guang giggling at Cheng Xiaoshi’s expense.
It probably won’t make a difference, but before Cheng Xiaoshi can look, Lu Guang grabs their jar of honey that they use for tea and tips it over the pot, dumping a small glob in.
He stirs the soup a few times for it to dissolve, then pulls out a bowl and ladles a large helping of soup into it before pushing it in front of Cheng Xiaoshi.
Cheng Xiaoshi looks at it, then back to Lu Guang, eyebrows pinched up.
“Aren’t you going to pour yourself some? We’re supposed to eat it together.”
Lu Guang could argue that this is Cheng Xiaoshi’s meal. He’s the sick one here. He’s the one who hasn’t eaten all day. But he can’t keep his composure with Cheng Xiaoshi’s brown eyes shining at him like that. Maybe it’s some sort of tradition he and Qiao Ling have. Lu Guang relents and pours a second, albeit less full, bowl.
“Happy?” he asks.
Judging by Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile, he must be. He finally begins eating his soup after that, so Lu Guang takes it as a victory.
He looks down at his own bowl. He has to admit, he is curious. He scoops up a spoonful, trying to get as many bits of vegetable as possible, and eats it. Warmth flows through his chest, same as before, with the earthy flavors of the vegetables complimenting the chicken broth. Even some of the more complex flavors of the traditional Chinese herbs are more muted, making them a little less bitter than last time. It’s not a perfect replication, but hopefully Cheng Xiaoshi enjoys the attempt all the same.
Lu Guang looks up from his bowl to ask Cheng Xiaoshi what he thinks, but the sight of him has Lu Guang stopping in his tracks.
He’s crying.
“Cheng Xiaoshi?” Lu Guang says, unable to disguise how worried he sounds.
Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes squeeze shut as hot tears drip down his cheeks. He opens them slowly and tries to blink them away, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand as he takes another careful bite. But the second he swallows, more tears fall.
“How did you do this?” Cheng Xiaoshi asks, voice thick.
“You can stop if you don’t like it—” Lu Guang tries to tell him.
Cheng Xiaoshi sniffs a little. “It tastes like my mother’s.”
Lu Guang looks down at his bowl and freezes.
This wasn’t a part of the plan.
He was supposed to recreate Qiao Ling’s attempt at this soup, not actually try to make his mother’s recipe. It’s Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling’s tradition, and now Lu Guang has usurped it and through blind, hasty grocery shopping and an impulsive addition managed to find a combination of ingredients that satisfied Cheng Xiaoshi. Is this going to mess up the timeline? Has Lu Guang somehow tripped up in an even greater way than before, unable to stop himself from smashing this timeline into ruin before he can attempt to find the correct node that will save Cheng Xiaoshi in the future?
He can feel himself falling into another spiral, but when he looks at Cheng Xiaoshi, the ball of anxiety in his gut unravels minutely.
While Lu Guang has been wrestling with another panic attack, Cheng Xiaoshi’s face has broken into a radiant smile. Tears still shimmer at the edges of his eyes as he takes bite after reverent bite, but the joy on his face is enough to stop Lu Guang from losing all composure.
Lu Guang takes another sip of the soup. A soup that tastes like home to Cheng Xiaoshi. When he is sick and miserable, when he craves warmth and care, this is the dish that he longs for. A soup that reminds him of his mother’s love, no matter how distant a memory it is to him now. A dish that Qiao Ling has spent almost a decade trying to make, purely so she could help Cheng Xiaoshi feel precisely like this.
Because what even is the point of all of this if not to make Cheng Xiaoshi happy?
He prays that the timeline will favor him in this one moment, because when he looks at the joy on Cheng Xiaoshi’s face, Lu Guang can’t find any regret left in him.
Cheng Xiaoshi looks to Lu Guang and clears his throat a little.
“You better eat your soup before it gets cold. If you’re not careful, I might eat your bowl too.”
Lu Guang wraps a hand around his bowl protectively, and Cheng Xiaoshi’s laughter chases away all his doubt.
---
“Aghh!! I can’t believe you spilled broth all over it! Lu Guang, I’ve not known you to be so clumsy.”
Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang both look at the soaked sheet of paper, the ink already starting to blot.
“You don’t happen to remember the quantities of all the ingredients you used, do you?” Cheng Xiaoshi asks Lu Guang.
Lu Guang looks at the paper forlornly. “I barely remember what I bought. I was picking through the vegetable section at the market at random.”
There’s barely enough soup in the pot for another full bowl (Cheng Xiaoshi devoured two of them, though Lu Guang forced him to eat slowly), and most of the vegetables had already been eaten, so there isn’t much evidence left for them to pick through.
While the universe seemed to favor Lu Guang in giving him such a convenient out, Lu Guang can’t help but pity Cheng Xiaoshi. He wonders if their destroyed ingredient list will fill him with heartbreak, now that his mother’s healing soup recipe has been washed away.
But Cheng Xiaoshi picks up the remains of the list, smiling good naturedly.
“Ah, it’s alright. I’m sure Qiao Ling still wants to try and recreate the recipe anyway. It would make her sad to discover that you’re such a cooking prodigy on your first try.” He balls up the wet paper and throws it away. “Let’s keep today between us, alright?”
“Are you sure?” Lu Guang asks.
Cheng Xiaoshi nods, still looking happier than he’s been all day. Lu Guang’s heartbeat quickens every time he looks at him. It’s hard to believe the change in Cheng Xiaoshi after just one meal. It could just be that after a full day of not eating, his revitalization has more to do with a full stomach than anything. Or perhaps the ingredients in the soup truly are medicinal. But color has returned to Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheeks once more, and he’s moving with an ease that he hasn’t had since yesterday.
Lu Guang gathers their bowls, washing them in the sink and leaving them on a dishtowel to dry. He sees Cheng Xiaoshi return to the couch instead of going upstairs.
“You should probably go to bed,” Lu Guang tells him, prioritizing responsibility.
“I’ve been sleeping all day!” Cheng Xiaoshi responds indignantly. “Come watch something with me.”
Lu Guang weighs the options of arguing with Cheng Xiaoshi versus doing what he wants. When he looks at Cheng Xiaoshi’s pouting expression, Lu Guang finds himself giving in, yet again. He tells himself it’s only because Cheng Xiaoshi is sick.
“Fine.”
Lu Guang takes out his laptop and pulls up a movie from the other day that they didn’t finish watching. As he’s adjusting the volume on his speakers, Cheng Xiaoshi speaks.
“Hey, Lu Guang?”
Lu Guang turns to face him. “Hm?”
“Thank you.” Cheng Xiaoshi looks at his lap shyly. “For today.”
The earnest admission stops Lu Guang short.
Every moment from today has been one continuous misstep after another. The stress, the anguish, the panic from it all was enough to take years off Lu Guang’s life. Lu Guang has known from the start that his mission to save Cheng Xiaoshi would be difficult, but days like today truly made him question if saving Cheng Xiaoshi was even possible. Lu Guang knows what the future looks like, but he’s more unsure of it than he’s ever been. Keeping the timeline the same long enough to find the critical node that will save Cheng Xiaoshi’s life might be a dream so farfetched that it might not even be worth attempting.
But Lu Guang thinks of the tear-streaked smile after Cheng Xiaoshi took that first bite.
Spending every waking moment agonizing over his next step won’t get him anywhere. Instead, Lu Guang folds up that smile and tucks it into a corner of his mind for safekeeping.
Cheng Xiaoshi thanked him for today.
Maybe that is enough.
Lu Guang offers Cheng Xiaoshi a nod, unable to help how bashful he feels as well. If he opened his mouth to respond, he worries that something far more revealing might tumble out of him. Something about promising to always care for him, to always keep him safe. He settles on a small dip of his chin and hopes it conveys what words can’t.
It only takes a moment longer to set up the movie. Afterwards, Lu Guang sits on his side of the couch. Cheng Xiaoshi sidles up next to him, so close the quilt he’s wrapped in presses into Lu Guang’s side.
Lu Guang pointedly does not look into his eyes when he asks, “Are you feeling well, now?”
“Yes,” Cheng Xiaoshi replies happily.
“And you’re not going to throw up on me?”
“Of course not!”
Lu Guang nods to himself. Then he leans forward to press ‘play.’
He does not tell Cheng Xiaoshi to move. Timeline be damned.
#link click#shi guang dai li ren#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#shiguang#qiao ling#link click fic#my writing
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First post! To start this blog off, i'd like to vomit a random Link Click theory that I thought of recently after finishing Season 2 a couple of weeks ago
You know, the whole “Lu Guang taking the photo in his hospital room” scene’s been on my mind a lot. Because that part was a liiiiitle strange. ‘Cause, I don’t think LG even left his phone there for CXS to find. And why? Because he doesn’t even know that CXS knows his phone passcode. My evidence? When Qiao Ling asks Cheng Xiaoshi how he knew LG’s passcode, he replies with “I just happened to see him put it in.” MEANING: LG didn’t tell it to him. Which is kind of odd, because if he left the phone specifically for CXS to find and dive into, wouldn’t he have told him his phone password beforehand in order to have gotten the plan to work smoothly?
SO! What if he left the phone for HIMSELF to find, and dove into it after CXS’ death and after CXS transferred his ability to him, so he’d have like a backup plan-ish sort of thing just in case CXS might've died that night???
And bonus! So if that WAS him, then the whole thing with the boat would make sense! ‘Cause when it first shows the whole “Lu Guang leaping on top of CXS” scene (back when we didn’t know CXS dives into the photo), it shows LG having zoomed his way there to the docks on some random boat. So this brings me to the conclusion that this had all been pre-planned (aka LG from the future going back and saving CXS), because like, where’d he get the boat? Did he just hijack one or something? Or… did he have one prepared in advance? (see where i’m going with this??)
And when we see CXS as Lu Guang, notice how HE didn’t take a boat there, and just ran all the way to the docks? (while risking the small matter of LG’s intestines spilling out… buuut cartoon logic!) So this brings me to thinking that the Lu Guang we saw the first time was actually Lu Guang! And that was him from another timeline and not CXS like we all thought.
And therefore, the “LG & CXS lying on top of each other scene” could’ve actually happened (so CXS wasn’t being narcissistic there, lol!), since that could have been Lu Guang the first time around (and Lu’s little smirk and the whole “Fortunately I caught up to you” thing could’ve been y’know, actually from him and not CXS just saying that to himself).
But then… there’s a loophole in this. Because the Lu Guang that is shown first starts busting out all these moves… and we all know CXS is the one who’s more adept at fighting, and we can kinda guess Lu Guang probably doesn’t get off the couch (he isn’t called an old man for nothing y’know). So, maybe that was actually CXS to begin with…
In conclusion? I genuinely don’t know! But I like to be delusional so I like to think that it was LG in another timeline (c’mon studio lan, you can’t just give us that scene and pass it off as it actually being CXS because of censorship pls). Or maybe I’m dumb and this theory’s super wrong because I completely missed something, I dunno.
(edit: HANG ON, i totally forgot about the scene where cxs gets shot and LG immediately went to beat the crap out of qian jin. So maybe all it takes for LG to fight is when he sees CXS in danger~)
#link click#shiguang daili ren#shiguang#lu guang i have so many questions for you#link click is not my new hyperfixation i swear
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bringing back the white hair theory because I just thought of something.
to recap, we have qiao ling and lu guang developing white hair, right?
^ single white hair strand after li tianxi's death
^ timeloop trauma guy (we don't actually know if his hair is just naturally like that or if it's related to the dives)
so I was thinking about the S1 basketball scene and how trusting cheng xiaoshi is of lu guang in that scene when: 1) this should have been "the first time they met"; 2) cheng xiaoshi has never made a friend outside of qiao ling for years. and suddenly he (super duper) trusts the new kid he randomly invites to play basketball with that he'd wax poetic about it?
and it's not as if we haven't seen cheng xiaoshi with white hair before, because he did have white hair in the break video. the music video that's specifically about fighting fate, reversing time, etc etc. now it could be a stylistic choice, or an error... but I don't think that's something you can just color mistakenly. especially in a video where the contrast between the colors black and white is the central theme. they even animated it! no way nobody caught such a "mistake"
so. what are the odds that lu guang wasn't the only one diving in the basketball scene and we see cheng xiaoshi dive there in season 3? something something flipping hourglass metaphor
anyway, bonus crack theory time. it's probably not the case bc I lean more towards the theory that xia fei has a conection with the mystery newspaper lady, but I think it would be sooo funny if xia fei actually has white hair for similar reasons, and he just dyes it blond. there are moments in xia fei's character video where the lighting makes it look white, so it's not hard to imagine
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Cheng Xiaoshi's Death, and LG Time Travel
I think things are starting to make sense to me.
First of all, THIS scene
is NOT after Lu Guang got stabbed. Look at the blood splatters;
This scene is after Cheng Xiaoshi's death. (When he was holding a bleeding and dying CXS in his arms)
Secondly, Lu Guang should most probably have his blue-eyes-past-photo-vison ability+ Cheng Xiaoshi's gold-eyes-photo-diving ability.
S2ep12 basically established that one's ability can be passed over in death. Tianxi's ability got passed over to Qiao Ling, along with her memories (whether temporary or permanent, that I do not know)
CXS was dying in LG's arms, the same way LTX was in QL's arms.
If it is a temporary transfer,that could explain why LG didn't use CXS's ability again,or, if it is permanent then that means LG still has that ability, he's keeping it hidden, and, quite possibly, repeatedly using it in A Time Loop (I genuinely hope not).
That could also explain why LG looked so shocked when CXS mentioned red eyes wanting to "steal" his ability. (Now we know that LTC meant stealing, as in, possessing CXS and using his ability, not literally stealing it. So, LTC might be unaware of this particular aspect. Who knows how much hat man knows)
Thirdly, the time of CXS's death. When did it happen?
I used to think that it was during the time abroad. But, like in the photo above, LG is in his bloodied clothes, in their room in the time photo studio. So, it was recent, and it happened in China itself, probably close to the studio.
The time reads 5 minutes past midnight. The same time is show on the clock hung on their room
Then there's 09, 13. Also a 28. Is 28 the day, September the month, and 13 is 2013 ? 2013 makes no sense. CXS is 21/22 in 2021 (current link click timeline), and LG looks the same as in that year. If it was 2013, then LG should be much, much younger. So, 13 could be the date as much as 28.
But... September 28 ? (We are in September, lol)
Edit : the above have been disproven. I have made another post regarding this :
Also, is it a 28 or 20 ?
Anyway, LG has already changed the timeline once. There are two instances of their meeting.
The scene in Overthink-Vortex music video, could possibly be their original meeting, but they pass themselves by..so, another encounter?
Also, these two are younger here.
The basketball scene (both in high school, probably 16 or so) , and the scene where LG helps in moving the furniture into the photo studio (the coincidence meeting) is most definitely deliberate. LG must have travelled that far, while diving back in time.
Last, I have a sneaking suspicion that the hat man is involved in this whole CXS death, LG lore thing. Also, something definitely happened during the overseas trip.
#link click#shiguang dailiren#时光代理人#sgdlr#shiguang daili ren#link click s2#link click spoilers#donghua#shi guang dai li ren
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"I save the world. You save my sister."
The plot, every misson they get done, gives us a set of rules to understand the universe the characters live in, what is possible or allowed to do while diving. Contrary to the live action which offer an actual exposition (Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's first meeting, the explanation and the mechanics of their powers), the donghua shows us all of that through subtil teaching: an action calls for a reaction.
The rules in season 1 are crafted according to the "light side" of this story (Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang and Qiao Ling), therefore they are morally good. They exist to protect, respect, help people. The headline would be "Don't change anything."
Season 2 of the Donghua offers a new perspective; the dark side. There is another way after all, a way to change past and future, to resist fate. You have the power, so why woudln't you benefit from it, right?
The Live Action wasn't the best example of an adaptation well done, that's true. The rules are familiar to us and Lu Guang is way more stuck in his ways than he is in the donghua. However, his master's moral, that we could dubbed as "History as it should be", is not right nor wrong. It demands for the past to remains as it is because the present has beauty no matter the state of things. Although it ultimately is true, we do notice the flaws in this belief through the missions our shiguang team accept: time is unfair, people are sad and broken, they wasted precious time of their lives for nothing, they've been abused... BUT. They can still be better, do better, life isn't the sum of past mistakes, and those who are still standing are masters of their own fate. Future can still change because we make choices in Present too.
You can say what you want of the way the Live Action has been made, but it still is relevant in its core to the original story and characters. They understand the real point of this universe, what conclusion it wants to bring us to. Once again, it gives us new rules. One of them is familiar though: ineluctability.
CXS's character study and spoilers for LCLA 1x23 bellow:
As He Xu talks about his long lost sister, the words shape a new meaning. These words, they might as well be donghua!Lu Guang's. Billions of people could disappear as long as it means Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, because he is LG's everything, his person, the best human being in the whole world. The whole scene is a clear argument against fate/death. With such powers, why should we accept the unfair and arbitrary will of time? Why can't we chose to be happy and make our lives better?
The fact that the parallel isn't made FOR the characters/LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi but for US, the audience, is even more heartbreaking. Because we know, and we deny, and we excuse, and we wish for the end to be a happy ending. But you all know in the depth of your heart the most important rule, no matter which character's morals applies:
"Death is a node that cannot be changed."
This being said, people often tell me how Cheng Xiaoshi would do the exact same thing than Lu Guang if he was in his situation for more than a day; he would eventually gives in and go back to save him.
I actually don't believe that myself. I think Cheng Xiaoshi would never.
Not only because Lu Guang taught him not to, but because Cheng Xiaoshi is, no matter how lonely, awkward and childish he can be, a deeply empathetic person. He loves people. And if saving someone he loves mean killing everyone else, he would not do it.
Lu Guang, with all his moral and strict guideline, fell under a genuine boy's spell and decided "fuck it, you all don't deserve him, he's better than all of you." To fuel this concept of the character, LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi has a clear idea of what a "Time Agent" is supposed to be: a superhero. He is a good person, that's why he wants to change death nodes. He wants to save them and keep them happy. Spider-man wouldn't sacrifice the world to save Gwen Stacy, okay? He Xu spits "you don't know actual regret" to his face, and maybe he's right, but then Cheng Xiaoshi argues that he knows his role and what it is expected of him.
That's your clue right there: he wants to do the right thing by making the best of awful circonstances.
Cheng Xiaoshi untrusts Lu Guang with the most important person in his life. He knows he cannot do eveything by himself. Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are a team, they are shiguang, and fate made them this way. He knows his role in all this, there is something only he can do. Now, Cheng Xiaoshi believes in the rightness of Lu Guang's master rules, but he cannot agree with his whole being. He does believe in one thing though.
This is not about maintaining the Past as it should be, but about the trolley dilemma: one person against MANY children's lives. Cheng Xiaoshi want to save as many people as he can. People could argue that CXS asking LG to save his sister means he wouldn't be able to make the right choice when facing this same dilemma if it involved Qiao Ling. I would strongly disagree. Of course, he hesitates each time He Xu mentions her. However, at the end of the day, he would rather sacrifice himself than anyone else, moreover if it means his sacrifice would save someone.
I would just end this meta with the possibility, no matter how small, that He Xu is right. No one knows if this universe would be destroyed once a node is changed. The consequences of that are actually unknown, and isn't there hope in this uncertainty? Isn't this small, near impossible possibility worth it in the end? But no matter the results, it's all about accountability. Perhaps the real truth about the universe's balance is this: these powers they have are both a responsability/duty to people and a chance/right to change or save Past and Future. As long as you understand your choice and the implied consequences, you're the real master of Fate.
#link click#shiguang dailiren#时光代理人#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#link click live action#meta#what if i kms#character study#dr he
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First of all, I think everyone who predicted the 'Lu Guang alternate timeline' theory deserves a chocolate ice cream, and amazing job to the studio for embedding the story well enough that we could figure it out!
Second of all, did you all notice the difference in outfits? In the current timeline, both Lu Guang and Chang Xiaoshi are wearing costumes from the Romeo and Juliet play. However in the past timeline Lu Guang travelled away from, they were wearing their typical outfits, with Cheng Xiaoshi in the blue jacket and Lu Guang in the white overshirt.
The implication is kind of that the whole hostage situation didn't happen. Which actually, makes a lot of sense. I don't know if any of of you have heard of the bootstrap paradox, but it's a theory that when you travel in time to cause an event that correlates to your own timeline, the event is then 'uncaused'. Essentially it raises the question, Cheng Xiaoshi takes control of Lu Guang, and runs to the location he was abducted, because he was rescued by Lu Guang. And he only did this because he already had the memory of Lu Guang saving him. But who saved Cheng Xiaoshi first?
(Google Doctor Who Bootstrap Paradox, it explains it incredibly well)
So if the hostage situation didn't happen, maybe Cheng Xiaoshi died earlier in the timeline?
Also, Lu Guang was able to jump back in time, which isn't his ability. Back to the theory of parallel lines, what if in the original timeline, Cheng Xiaoshi passed Lu Guang his own ability, like how in the current one, Xixi (presumeably) passes her own to Qiao Ling. There are commonalities in the disparate timelines.
Also, the flashback with Chen Bin breaking free and catching himself has horrific implications. Because 'it can change with the influence of others' might have been Lu Guanv travelling back in time to save his friend, but Chen Bin didn't survive, his death was delayed. Time is more inevitable that one could think, and Cheng Xiaoshi has the mark of death on his life now.
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