#this could definitely end up being angsty but i’m always one for comedy in any scenario | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bbugyu · 4 years ago

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how jeonghan knew

a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.

there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.

prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue

wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album

and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ

thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him.

jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.

while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.

he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.

"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.

"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"

jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.

he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.

he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.

maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.

he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.

"are you taking your vitamins?"

"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.

"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."

jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."

his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."

jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."

seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.

jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.

he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.

he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.

maybe he had a thing for musicians.

he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.

then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.

he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.

"hey, you seen yongsun?"

jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"

"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.

he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."

byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."

it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.

for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you.

the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.

"or i have guest rooms. up to you."

"i have class tomorrow," you tested.

"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."

you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.

so you went to bed with him.

jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.

"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.

not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.

jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.

he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.

"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.

"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."

he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."

you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"

a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.

the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.

you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.

then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.

"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."

you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."

he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."

jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.

the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before.

"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification.

"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."

"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"

"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."

you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"

"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways."

he laughed when you squinted at him.

"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."

and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.

you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.

a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.

and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.

and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.

and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock.

he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.

when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.

seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.

jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.

he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.

a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.

"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."

you studied his face. "but i'm with you."

"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."

"you're being serious?"

jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."

you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"

"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."

you paused. "boundaries?"

"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."

"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"

he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."

you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."

"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."

after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.

"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"

jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."

"why didn't you say anything?"

he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."

your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"

"obligated to love him, too."

"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."

jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.

but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.

you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.

he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"

"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."

"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.

"i think i'm interested, too."

he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"

"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."

"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."

seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"

he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."

"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"

he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.

"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.

"probably," seokmin said.

"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.

you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."

"any time," he joked.

jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.

"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."

"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."

"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."

"and you hated shaking drinks."

you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."

"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.

jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."

"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."

"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"

you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.

your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.

without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.

"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.

"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"

he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.

jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.

"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."

you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.

jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"

you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.

"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."

seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.

"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips.

he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.

"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."

"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."

he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.

jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.

"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."

"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."

wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"

"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."

the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."

he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.

"a music room?"

he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"

you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."

he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.

hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.

seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.

jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.

"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"

and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.

jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.

"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin.

before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.

"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"

"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."

seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."

he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.

he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.

he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.

jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.

"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"

"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."

jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.

"god, you're ready, aren't you?"

"please," he begged. "i want you."

jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.

"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."

seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.

jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.

seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween.

"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.

"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."

you eyed him. "before or during?"

seokmin thought a second. "both."

"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."

"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."

"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."

"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.

jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."

you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"

"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."

you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."

"what kind of fun?"

you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."

innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.

the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.

"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"

he adjusted. "an inspiring one."

you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."

seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."

"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."

jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"

the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit.

seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."

you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."

jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.

"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.

seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.

jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"

"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."

you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.

"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"

you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."

"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."

"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."

you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.

seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.

then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.

"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.

a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.

"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."

you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.

jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."

so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.

there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.

"bathtub cuddle puddle?"

you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."

he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.

jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it.

"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."

"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."

you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.

jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.

it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.

he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.

and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.

despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.

you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.

"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"

you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled.

"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"

"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"

"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.

"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.

you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."

"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.

"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."

you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."

"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."

you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."

seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."

"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."

"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"

"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."

seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.

"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"

you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.

"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.

"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.

seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"

"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"

he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"

"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"

"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"

you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.

and then he started crying.

the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.

"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."

seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"

"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.

"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."

"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"

the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."

seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."

"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."

"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."

seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."

your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.

"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"

jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."

seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.

"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."

jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."

300 notes · View notes

pinkykitten · 5 years ago

Text

Shy Love

Neil Melendez x female! reader

Genre: comedy, angst, prompt, romance, fluff

Words: 2,304 (ok where did she come out of ?)

Request: By anon Could you do a Melendez x reader oneshot where at the hospital he’s the most shy person he’s ever seen but he happened to see her out and she’s totally different like loud and reckless and stuff, and he can’t decide which side of her he loves more and confesses

and another anon hiii idk if you’re taking requests but if you could do a neil melendez x reader fic w/ angst prompts 7 and 11 I’d be the happiest!!! (like mostly angst but ending with fluff if that makes sense)

Prompts: 7 - “you should’ve said that yesterday.” 11 - “it’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.”

Authors Note: MiX iT aLl ToGeThEr AnD yOu KnOw ThAt It’S tHe BeSt Of BoTh WoRlDSs!!!!!!! if you didnt get by the song i mixed two requests cuz why not but this one has a lot to do w walmart and like its funny and silly but then super angsty and gets rlly in the feels,,like its a whole lot but i love my boo sm he is lemonade

“Y/N, how would you like to join us? We’re going to the bar when our shift is over,” Neil asked you with dreamy eyes. His hand resting on your shoulder. Neil was always trying to bring you out of your shell and make you associate with your coworkers. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to gather with your workmates its you were shy around them. With your friends from your hometown they knew how odd you were and would never judge you or dislike you but all these doctors you knew were way more mature than you. They had their life figured out and you were worried they wouldn’t like the real you and who you really are.

You grabbed all your books that you were going to study that night for a patient of yours and carried your bag. “Thanks for the invite, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” You said with a small voice, thanking him with a kiss on the cheek.

“You sure?” Neil smirked.

You waved, “bye Neil.”

Neil shook his head at you declining his offer. All he wanted was to have a night out with you. He wanted to get to know you better.

As you stepped out of the hospital your phone buzzed with a call. You chuckled as you saw the caller ID display your friend and roommate's name.

“Yes, Janelle?”

“Girl, meet me at Walmart! They got the good stuff you like so much on sale.” She was sparking with such enthusiasm for something so mellow.

Giggling you put your friend on speaker as you started your car, “I think you’re the only person I know that gets excited for Walmart.”

“I thought since you’re always so busy-”

You rolled your e/c eyes, “here we go again! Always the same topic of conversation. I’m sorry I’m over here saving lives!”

“I’m just saying I barely see you anymore. I miss you. I want to know whats going on with your life. Any guys? Lets just hang out for a little bit, please.”

You felt bad, your friend sounded lonely and you could go for some best friend advice and love at this moment. “Sure, why not? I’m coming over! Order me something from McDonald’s okay? I’m starving.”

Janelle laughed loudly on the other end.

The burger hit the spot of your hunger. You licked your lips and wiped your fingers.

“Do you think we need more of this?” Janelle pulled out the coffee creamer from the milk aisle.

“Yes,” you said with a definite answer. “You drank all of the other one?”

Janelle looked at you bashfully, “oops, that was me?”

“Oops, that was me?” You repeated sarcastically. “Of course that was you. I barely get to drink coffee creamers anymore. I now drink that dark stuff at work.”

“Right, work. So how’s that Melendez doctor?”

You almost choked right there. People were eyeing you as you playfully slapped your friend in embarrassment. “Janelle! What if he’s here?”

“Honey, he probably shops at Whole Foods not at some Walmart, okay. Besides why are you so secretive about him?”

You waved your hands in front of your face to try hide your bashful expression, “Because, he’s so handsome and more mature than me. He has his whole life figured out. I’m still living off of Ramen while he probably eats with Beyonce!”

“Oh, someone has a crush! And he’s rich!”

You put bread in the cart and almost knocked the cart into an old woman, “Just because he may be rich, Janelle, doesn’t mean that’s the most important thing. But yes, Neil Melendez may be rich.”

Your best friend and wing girl squealed louder than a pig. “Oh my God! You like him! You like him! You like him! Why don’t you just ask him out then? You are so pretty, he’d probably say yes.”

“That’s the problem. He may say yes. It’s not definite. I’m, I’m too afraid. It doesn’t matter. We are just coworkers he’s my boss and we have a professional relationship, nothing more.”

“Alright, I won’t push it anymore.” Janelle grew a big, evil, smile on her face. She skipped behind you and pushed you in the shopping cart.

You screamed loud and whipped your head around to her, “what are you doing Janelle?”

“You’re too stressed out Y/N. Let loose. It’s time we have fun.” Janelle didn’t even give you enough time to interject because she was already speeding down the shopping lanes. She pushed you faster and faster.

At first you were afraid but then the adrenaline got to you and you started laughing. She poured chip bags and bags of marshmallows on you to replicate rain. She twirled the cart and your cheery cackles were heard through out the whole store.

This is what you meant. You could be a silly willy with your best friend and people that knew you. But you were too shy and afraid to reveal your fun self to others but more to Neil. You were frightened he would say you were too stupid for him or that you were not serious enough. Neil meant so much to you that you were always shy around him. You liked him so much and you never wanted to jeopardize your relationship you have with him.

What you didn’t know was Neil did indeed shop at Walmart and he was doing some last minute shopping.

He was peering at a bag of pistachios when he could of sworn he heard your shrieks. He paid no attention to it at first until he heard your voice nearby. It couldn’t have been you! No, not shy, flustered, Y/N. Neil turned the corner and was met with the surprise of you dancing in the shopping cart. He was a bit confused. You were always shy around him when Neil would talk and hang out with you. It was a complete 180. Who was this person? He couldn’t help but smile. You looked so adorable and cute having fun. You were being a ball of excitement. So different than how he knew you or what he thought he knew. He loved how sweet you were when you were shy but you seemed more happy now. He loved the real you. Neil even found himself getting jealous. Why didn’t you show your true, inner self to him? Were you afraid of him? He wanted to know everything about you and he felt like he didn’t know you at all. His smile started to disappeared. Neil didn’t think. Before he knew it he was making his way towards you and your roommate.

“Hello Y/N,” Neil created a fake grin.

You were completely horrified. Your heart pounded vigorously. Was he watching you this whole time? He probably thought you were being absurd. At once all the nerves consumed you. You became speechless. You were so embarrassed! You quickly hopped out of the cart and sheepishly put your hands behind your back. “H-hey Doctor Melendez. I didn’t know you shop here?”

“It’s Walmart. I hope I can shop here.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head.

“What my friend means is that you look rich and so handsome that we suspected you might shop at places like Whole Foods and what not.” Janelle saved your butt.

Neil chuckled, “no, I need my junk food.” He then eyed you. “Saw you having fun here.”

You looked down, scared for his talk.

“Why don’t I ever see this side of you? I think you should let that fire out more at work in front of all of us. I think its cute.” He winked at you as he walked away.

“Oh my God Janelle,” you fell against the cart, leaning against it. “I think I just died. That was so embarrassing!”

Janelle danced around you, “are you serious? He said you were cute! Agh, I wish a guy would say that about me!”

“I’m so glad that’s over.”

It wasn’t over. Far from it.

Neil couldn’t sleep that night. He was angry and jealous. He wanted to start a relationship with you but he didn’t even know who you were. How was it going to work? He didn’t understand why you kept who you were away from him? Do you hate him that much?

Neil paged you and texted you that he needed to discuss something with you, asap the next day at work.

Your bones shook like a tree. You were more than nervous, you were petrified. Was this about the fiasco at Walmart or was this something more? Neil meant so much to you, you didn’t want to ruin what you two already had.

You knocked on the door to a vacant room. You saw Neil sitting at the table through the glass windows.

“Come in,” he said loud for you to hear.

You walked in slowly.

“Please sit.”

You sat, biting your lip. You played with your fingers awaiting the blow.

“I just want to say I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me but I wanted to discuss something that’s been bothering me.”

“Yes.”

“I thought I knew you. I don’t know why but when I saw you having fun yesterday my heart hurt. It’s weird to explain.” Neil rubbed his temples, clearly this was effecting him. “I fell asleep that night thinking about you.”

“About me?” You felt flustered.

Neil heard how that sounded and quickly tried to save himself from the grave he dug himself, “please, let me rephrase that. What I mean is, I know you for being this quiet, shy woman and who I saw yesterday was this outspoken, fun, burst of fire. Why is there such a change?”

You were afraid he was going to bring it up. You felt hot. You weren’t really sure how you were going to respond. “I don’t know.” You became shy.

“I just don’t understand why you are so...afraid of me? Have I done something to scare you?”

“It’s not you okay,” you were becoming overwhelmed. Why did he have to bring up something you were insecure about? Why couldn’t he just let it go? “It’s me. I just I don’t-”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want a complete honest answer. I don’t want you to dislike me. Please tell me what happened.”

You wanted to shut out everything. You were self conscious of your personality. You felt like crying. You stared at your hands and wanted to be sucked in a hole. Your lips trembled as a tear fell.

Neil saw that and felt like a monster. “I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to-”

You wiped your tears away and stood up, “You said enough. It’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.” You were about to leave but entered the room again. “I’m insecure about myself and I don’t like the real me. I’m afraid you won’t like who I am because I really like you Neil. I hide because who I really am is this crazy, reckless person. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry I’m weird.” You walked away leaving Neil feeling defeated and hating himself because all he wanted to do was tell you how he truly felt.

It was the next day and you were swallowed up in your blanket, eating ice cream and watching rom cons that were too good to be true. You felt hollow. You thought you maybe had a chance with Neil but he hated you and found you unattractive.

Janelle came in with a guilty look on her face, “it’s okay babes.” She hugged you tight. “If he doesn’t love you then he doesn’t deserve you because you are a gorgeous thing.” She smiled trying to make you laugh.

You chuckled weakly and cried into Janelle’s shoulder feeling like a glob rather than a person. “I even told him how I felt.”

There was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” You slipped on your slippers and walked around the apartment gloomy. You opened the door and standing there was Neil holding a bouquet of roses. “Oh its you.” You threw the door in his face.

“Please Y/N I really need to talk to you.”

Janelle turned you around like a mother, “go talk to him. Now.”

You groaned as you met with Neil’s body. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize for the way I acted towards you yesterday. It was wrong and I am very sorry. I was being stupid. I was jealous because I wanted you to be yourself around me. I wanted to know how adorable you act and I want to push you in a cart. I want to have those fun moments with you because you are special Y/N. You have this beautiful, amazing personality that lights up the room and that makes me feel giddy. I’m a complete idiot for treating you like how I did but Y/N I like you. I like you a lot. I would love to take you on a date like a gentleman because you deserve the best. These are for you.” He handed you the roses.

You were speechless, mouth agape as you stared at this man completely smitten with you and confessing. You smelled the roses and smiled, “they smell amazing. Thank you.”

“Phew, I’m glad you liked them because I was really nervous you were allergic or something-”

You pulled Neil’s collar and gave him a big kiss. It was sensual and perfect. It wasn’t too quick but not too long. Both lips moved in perfect sync. “You should’ve said that yesterday.”

“I really should of if I was going to get that outcome.”

Janelle started clapping in the background like a victorious warrior. “Amazing! So when’s the wedding?”

(ENDING A/N: i’m not sponsored by walmart sAdly i swear hhhhh)

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @fandomchick80

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Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

#i just noticed i put a lot of my fics in bold type HMMMMMM #u all think my obsession w neil is fake but oh noooo ITS REAL #also janelle is me w u guys she is mood and we love her #she ships Y/N and neil SOOOOOOOO HARDDDDD #neil melendez x reader #neil melendez #the good doctor #the good doctor fanfiction #x reader #fanfiction #requested #neil melendez imagine #neil melendez one shot #imagine #doctor melendez #doctor melendez x reader #the good doctor imagine #tgd #shy love

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galaxina-the-pyro · 4 years ago

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How would you improve the episode AYA?

...wait...you’re asking me?

I...I didn’t expect this...

The thing is is that I don’t think I could possibly come up with ideas for this better than, say, @authenticcadence18 or @springsfordays because their ideas are just too good (seriously, check them out, they have the literal best ideas for a rewrite of AYA, holy crap).

But if I were to rewrite it...hm...let’s make a checklist for stuff about AYA that just miffed me:

1. Plot B is fine. Plot B was probably the best part of AYA - Doof’s dilemma made sense for his character (and is hilarious), tied in with the name of the episode, and involved fun little shenanigans. My only gripe is that they didn’t go MONDO insane with it at the end, and said ending felt really abrupt.

(I also wish that, somehow, even Doof was involved with that “everyone knew” bit, but we’re gonna be scrapping that joke for this story - that joke is FUNNY, but it’s also degrading to Phineas, and is sorta a nice way of saying “yeah, you’re stupid for not noticing her feelings even though she’s not entitled to them - you’re the problem. It’s not like the episode is trying to hint at you two having switched roles, no, you’re the only one who was being oblivious and stupid.”)

2. We cut out Plot C entirely. Everyone trying to get Phineas and Isabella together was just...ugh. Why? And they had the audacity to compare what they were doing to all the AMAZING things they did when they were younger, like, guys - you set up some tables, decorations, and cooked them what I can assume to be a run-of-the-mill restaurant dinner - that has NOTHING on a rollercoaster through downtown. And their applause at that sweet but ultimately lackluster confession? Hurt. So much. Now that I think about it, it felt condescending, it unintentionally emphasized HOW uninspired this confession (as much as I love it) was, and it felt like they were taking credit for something they didn’t do.

And if we’re NOT gonna cut out Plot C...have Plot C be about FERB? Leaving for COLLEGE? Out of COUNTRY? Cuz I have a hard time believing that Phineas and Ferb are just OKAY with separating at such a long distance - heck, in “Candace Gets Busted”, FERB is the one who assumes that one day he and his brother are gonna own their own place together. It should at least be BROUGHT UP, don’t you think? (I’m conflicted on whether or not I’d keep Montessa in the ring or at least SHOW US how Ferbnessa happened, because I think what’s weirding people out is that they’re assuming that Vanessa literally waited for Ferb to turn 18 to start dating him - when I think it’s more likely that they kinda JUST started dating during the beginning of Summer? But I think stuff like that really SHOULD be explained because even though I don’t think it’s that weird, I understand why OTHER PEOPLE wouldn’t like the idea)

3. I kinda feel like this should have had more songs? I dunno why, I feel like this all could have been improved if we got a fullblown musical out of this (and...this may be me wanting a “What Might Have Been” reprise, lol) - like, make fun of HSM or something, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have.

4. I kinda wanted to see more of the “where are they now”. Like, Jeremy, Stacey, Little Suzie Johnson, even that one couple with the lady who’s always like “what did you think, an anniversary dinner was just going to fall from the sky?” - I like stuff like that, it’s so much fun to think about. Also...I legit have so much anxiety over Perry never interacting with him owners ONCE in that episode, and even more anxiety over Pinky never making an appearance at all. Heck, if there was a good time to show us what the HECK happened to Django, now would be a great time.

5. I would have given the episode a unique intro, ala “Night of the Living Pharmacists” and “Last Day of Summer” - like, AYA is as much of a status quo shifter as those two episodes, why was it given the “Phineas and Ferb Get Busted” treatment?

6. Here’s a brilliant thought - NO ONE tells Phineas about Isabella’s crush? How about instead Phineas goes and wants to check in on her, because he really misses her and doesn’t understand why they don’t talk anymore (and he’s tried before, and they’ve nearly had conversations, but Isabella’s just too busy) - did he do something wrong? Is Isabella just too busy now? He needs to know. That should have been his priority, none of this “FrIeNd ZoNe” nonsense.

7. I would have made this into a near movie-length special. With all the topics that this episode brought up, particularly the whole “manipulating the situation” thing, I feel like a longer episode would have given them more time to talk about how stuff like that is...not okay.

[READ THE ACTUAL REWRITE OF THE EPISODE (well, my take at least) UNDER THE CUT!]

Okay, with those out of the way, how I would have written Phinabella the Movie...I mean...Act Your Age (I warn you, it’s not gonna be as good as @authenticcadence18′s or @springsfordays‘s ideas, so if you want quality stuff and not just mushy fanfiction fodder I’d check their stuff out):

I would have sorta made this entire thing take place during the “What Might Have Been” song - what that means is that it’s a collage of memories. How Isabella and Phineas met, how Isabella first got her “crush” (if you can really call it that, girl was full out in love lol), them building stuff with the gang during their canon ages, them going into highschool, Isabella ultimately choosing to give up her crush to maintain her friendship with Phineas (because her choosing to not be as close to Phineas because of a crush isn’t an option), Isabella’s first boyfriend (which probably’s gonna hurt a lot of fans, cuz I envision that to NOT be Phineas; but it’s Phinabella endgame, so relax); the episode just centers on the gang (mainly Isabella since it’s from her perspective) growing up.

Like, yes, all of the memories are gonna be Phinabella centered, but we gotta have SOME side-stories and junk, like maybe how Baljeet gets together with Ginger (and...how they break up...please don’t kill me), what ultimately leads Ferb to want to go back to England for studies (maybe it’s him wanting to be his own person and not wanting people to think he and his brother are just “a pair”), Buford...uh...something with Buford definitely, because I love him and he deserves it. Heck, maybe even the Fireside Girls can have their own arc with a graduation ceremony for their ranks (...what? I’m not linking stuff to the best fanfic ever, noooooo...why would-why would I do that?).

And maybe in this case Plot B SHOULD be different - maybe it should focus on how Doofenshmirtz first got to America, how he first met Charlene, what exactly led him to being evil in the first place, all that good stuff. Though, ultimately, that might be a little angsty - maybe there’s a reason why we don’t see exactly HOW Doof and Charlene divorced, because that could very well be the saddest scene ever, and it’s hard to put that kinda comedic spin on something so tragic (I mean, obviously there are comedies CENTERED on divorce, but like...they always SKIP the divorce part from what I’ve seen). Not to mention that this is a kid’s show, so...I doubt they’d actually show HOW it happened. This is just my thoughts. X’D

Back to the Phinabella.

Phineas and Isabella would have their confession during THIS part of the special rather than the very end (so, like...they’re still in highschool, and Isabella’s already broken up with that other dude in the story, and maybe Phineas had a girlfriend he just wasn’t happy with) - Phineas tries to do something big for Isabella, but it ultimately falls through because of Perry’s current nemesis (we never see who that is, lol), so he settles for something simple (at first he’s scared about it not “being enough” for someone like Isabella, but Ferb’s able to slap that nonsense out of him pretty quickly). He and Isabella spend the ENTIRE DAY together alone, leading to Phineas eventually singing a song he wrote for her to her, and the two have a cute little duet as a result (that has the opposite energy of “What Might Have Been”, so it’s important that somewhere in this episode that “What Might Have Been” is still a thing, it just doesn’t involve Phineas being aware of Isabella’s feelings, and it doesn’t involve Isabella trying to leave somewhere without saying goodbye, this would be more about Isabella, after trying to get over her crush, realizing that she still LIKES Phineas that way). They almost kiss, but they’re ultimately interrupted by Buford being Buford or something, but it implies that Phineas and Isabella are now a couple onwards from here.

Eventually it leads to a small party in the middle of Summer with the gang, with them playing some games and talking about how by the end of Summer, they won’t be seeing each other as much anymore because of college and stuff. They all remanence about the simple times - with Isabella eventually leaving (saying it’s because she needs to check on something, but really it’s because she’s sad that things are ending so quickly and she’s gonna miss everyone especially Phineas), and Phineas going after her to see if she’s alright (he’s oblivious, but he’s always been able to tell if she’s sad for the most part, save for maybe a few instances - but he’s older now, so he’s probably better at telling).

The two go for a stroll outside, and discuss the changes and stuff, how he and Isabella are ultimately going to have to work on a long-distance relationship and how Phineas is going to miss Ferb when he leaves the country, and how he’s gonna miss Isabella. And then they both realize that everything is gonna be okay, because they’ve literally dealt with worse situations and came out stronger for it - Isabella nor Phineas have any doubts in their minds that their relationship with each other or anyone else is going to sever just because of long distance.

Time moves onward, and there are a lot of changes (mainly talking about couples and other stuff - if it were me, there’d be endgame Buford/Gretchen and Ferb/Ginger of all people, and of course Candace and Jeremy would be married by this time). Phineas and Isabella are about to go into their last year of college, and decide to spend one more day together before they, once again, go their separate ways. The gang surprises Isabella by having made an ACTUALLY GOOD AND CREATIVE BACKYARD DINNER for the two per Phineas’ planning (the idea wasn’t bad, the execution was just lame imo), and long story short, Phineas proposes to Isabella. She obviously accepts, and everyone cheers for them as Isabella inner monologues about how change can be scary but it’s okay some mushy stuff about loved ones being there for you when you need them or something.

And finally, we cut to many years later, with Isabella as an adult now, looking out at the backyard of her current home, drinking some tea - this whole movie/special has taken place in this Isabella’s memories (if that makes sense), as she thinks on how she got there. The story ends with a child (we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl) calling to her and calling her “mom”, and Isabella leaving to check on her kid.

And...that’s how I would have written “Act Your Age”. Again, I recommend this and this over my idea (because again, their takes on this episode are perfect, I don’t think anyone can top them), but if you like it then great. This was still fun to write out and stuff, and I hope you enjoyed it regardless. ^^;

#phineas and ferb #pnf #act your age #phinabella #act your age rant #episode rewrite #galaxina rants #not as good of a rewrite as others but i think it's decent at the very least #but i dunno #what do ya'll think #lol

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tuiyla · 5 years ago

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She-Ra’s like, really good, people

It’s been over a week since She-Ra season 5 came out and I binged it and this is not going to be coherent but I just want to rant about it a bit before writing some more structured metas. I deffo wanna write about Catradora and how I think SPoP is the true spiritual successor to the Avatar.

But first, let me just scream about how good this show is. I already started rewatching it, pretty much straight after finishing it, and I don’t rewatch tv shows often. The exception is Avatar (seen it like 15 times) and sitcoms. But She-Ra is so layered that I felt like I needed to watch it again just to appreciate the dynamics even more.

I already enjoyed the first season but it kept getting better and better. I’m not in love with the art style and it’s definitely for a younger demographic overall than my other favourite animated shows, but like any good kids’ show it balances tone well. It doesn’t talk down to its target demographic but also includes more traditionally mature themes in a digestible and entertaining way. Not all the jokes landed for me but as the series went on I learned to appreciate the tone and the type of humour She-Ra goes for.

It’s funny to me because this is definitely the type of show I would have rejected as a kid, with all the princesses I would have deemed it “too girly” and therefore not for me because screw gender roles. There’s a degree of internalized sexism to that, for sure, a rejection of the feminine because it’s always been seen as less somehow. But there’s also a truth that, at least in my childhood of the late 90s and early 00s, children’s media targeted at girls often had a poor quality to it, at least when compared to “boys’ stuff”.

She-Ra is not only a clever, heartfelt, complex story, it also transcends that binary of having to be either for girls or boys. I know most of modern animation rejects that as well, but She-Ra embraces so many traditionally feminine qualities while also going beyond gender roles and even the gender binary. This show is so queer, man, and I love it. It’s especially impressive when you consider the source material that was literally just the girly version of He-Man. I have no beef with 80s She-Ra, haven’t seen much of it, but this is such an upgrade.

That being said, I would have loved to watch She-Ra as a kid. I’m so incredibly envious of kids, aged around 10, who get to watch this show as they’re growing up. But I am so, so, so happy for them and for the future of animation that shows like She-Ra can be made now, that they’re being made. I’m going to go into spoilers soon, but just before that: She-Ra’s a perfectly enjoyable show in many aspects. I think the worldbuilding’s pretty cool, the story feels coherent and planned out, it’s lighthearted and so genuine. That’s the word that I ultimately choose to describe the series: genuine.

I feel like so much of TV aims to be dark and gritty nowadays, animation included, and though that’s slowly turning to dark comedy or a balance between fun and serious, it’s still the norm. At some point in the last decade, creators became terrified of being judged as cheesy. Even something like the MCU bathes in bathos to avoid being cheesy. But She-Ra proves that creators shouldn’t be afraid of being genuine, of basing characters and storylines on the simple power of love. Like, it’s such a cliché trope but I think that’s mostly because it has become stale.

Noelle Stevenson has talked about the importance of love in her story and I’m so grateful for that. Through, She-Ra, she’s truly proven how powerful love can be in a story and how it doesn’t have to be cheesy. It’s just so unabashedly genuine. The power of love and friendship literally saves the day several times but it’s always so genuine and more importantly it always makes sense that it doesn’t get boring. If the foundation wasn’t there, then I’d say “well this is just super cheesy”. But the show makes a point of building relationships and making them the focal point of the story.

Alright, so, spoilers because I need to talk about character arcs and THAT KISS and just everything. I really need to write more in depth about Adora and Catra and their relationship but for now I feel like it’s so important to appreciate how they’re developed. Everything from their shared childhood to their trauma with Shadow Weaver and the finding their way back to each other, it’s just *chef’s kiss*. It’s so well-written and believable. Ngl, I do have some minor issues with Catra’s redemption arc. Let’s just say that on a scale from Kylo Ren to Zuko, she’s definitely closer to Zuko. I also appreciate Shadow Weaver’s death scene and how it allows them to move on. I didn’t see that one as Death as Redemption and it shouldn’t be. Again and again the show made it clear that she was abuse towards both girls and nothing will negate that.

From what I can tell, the fandom really latched onto Catra, even when it wasn’t clear whether she’d get a redemption arc. I think that’s important, because unlike some characters in animation, Catra’s actions were almost always framed appropriately. There was always an understanding as to where she’s coming from, how she’s acting from a place of hurt, and yet her actions weren’t justified. They weren’t suddenly all okay just because she’s hurt, too. I especially loved in the season 3 finale when Adora was allowed to finally say no, to say that Catra’s actions were not her fault. That season as a whole was beautiful, like, episode three when Adora’s struggling so much and Catra has the opportunity for a better life but she still fails to choose her own happiness because she’s too bitter over SW and Adora? It’s poetic cinema. I love that angst, so well done.

It would be so easy to misfire in Catra’s storyline and either a) write off all the awful things she does because she’s just “misunderstood” or b) irredeemably stuck in her abusive environment with no hope of escape. They balanced quite well there and managed to handle such a complex character with delicacy. I’m quite happy with how Catra was portrayed because on the one hand, she’s painfully relatable to me and I assume to many others. The audience can see their own mistakes reflected in her character because we’ve all been too stubborn, done things out of spite, refused to acknowledge that we were wrong because we were hurting so much. At the same time, I always felt like the show gave me enough space to judge Catra’s actions and acknowledge that she was in the wrong. I honestly think I would have been a better adjusted teenager is if saw this show just before my angsty years, lol.

I’m going to write more about Adora at some other point but I love how vulnerable she’s allowed to be. Protagonists never used to be my favourite characters because they all seemed the same, with two major categories: the stereotypical male hero who can do no wrong or the angsty boi who can be shitty and the text still frames him as awesome. It’s only recently with series like The Legend of Korra and She-Ra that I go “damn, protagonists can be like that, huh.” Adora is a dumb jock who tries so hard and she deserves all the hugs in the world.

Also, Catradora? Breathtaking, amazing, groundbreaking. No doubt She-Ra needed shows like Adventure Time, LoK, Steven Universe and the likes to pave the way but still, it went there. I saw people be anxious about whether they were gonna be queerbaited, but I always, idk, knew? Trusted? That She-Ra would follow through. I didn’t wait six years for Bubbline to happen for Catradora to not get their big damn kiss. The series has been so effortlessly queer from the get-go that it just made sense that they were always heading there. I did see a gif of the kiss before watching s5 and ngl, that spoiler kind of bummed me out in a way that I wanted to be surprised. But even before I saw that I wasn’t worried. And the context of their journey in season 5? That cannot be spoiled by a simple gif. You have to experience that to fully appreciate it and that is the marker of good storytelling.

I understand that, though this should be the norm by now, Noelle Stevenson still had to be smart about how she approached the execs and she wasn’t sure this could happen. I cannot tell you how happy I am about what she said regarding how Catradora was so integral to the story that the execs couldn’t not allow it. That’s so brilliant, and it feels so natural in the story. Queer love saves the day and it’s not ambiguous, it cannot be censored because you lose a part of the story without it. You did it, Noelle, you funky little lesbian, what an icon. I can’t wait to see more stuff from her.

In other news, I appreciated other characters as well, like how all the princesses got to be different and awesome in their own unique way. Season 5 was great for so many characters, Mermista got so much to work with and Spinnerella and Netossa got so much more characterization than in previous seasons. Glimmer continued to be the third most important character in the story and I’m happy about all the relationships that also got to be canon. Good characters and dynamics all around, no wonder since the show is built on that.

Such a satisfying conclusion and one that makes you feel like this is just part one of a much bigger story. Such genuine, heartfelt moments, well-developed characters, complex themes explored in a respectful and digestible way, and such an unapologetically fun show. Melissa Fumero as a side character? Yes please. Catra’s new haircut? Heck yeah! She-Ra’s new design? Oh my.

I’m not even like, super into She-Ra, and I usually don’t write so much about things I only watch casually. But this show is so good and important that I had to rant. And I will write more about it eventually, but for now I needed to get all of this out. I’d give it a better structure but if I really get into I might never end up posting it so for now here, have this ramble of love. She-Ra, of all shows, deserves that.

#she-ra #spop #she-ra and the princesses of power #catradora #spop spoilers #my thoughts #that's pretty much it for now

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luci-cunt · 5 years ago

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An incomprehensive guide to why you should read T.J Klune’s book Wolfsong

Mostly for my very best friend in the whole wide world: @moonsandstarsaregay <33 and with 100% too many AFtG references i’m sorry

*AHEM*

A plot summary: Ox has been told his whole life he’s slow and gonna get shit for it. He lives in a sleepy little nowhere town in Oregon and is perfectly content never leaving and working in the garage for the rest of his life. His dad sucks, his mom’s a gem, and one day the house that’s (almost) always been empty at the end of the street gets filled by a family that’s just a little on the wrong side of weird–the Bennetts. They all immediately fall in love with Ox because he’s literally the most perfect mc you’ll ever meet, and he learns that not everyone actually sucks he’s just been looking at the wrong people.

And so what if they’re also a very powerful and well known werewolf pack–I mean WHATTTTTT

There’s monster fighting, drama, adventure, romance(*), adventure, angst (Oh GOD is there angst), badassary, and just so much good shit.

The Main Character:

I could talk just about how Ox is portrayed until the day I DIE. He doesn’t have an arc where he magically becomes ‘normal’ or anything, instead he just surrounds himself with people that treat him better and finds that he doesn’t need to change. He has a heart of gold and does kind things just because he is kind. He’s the definition of a soft giant, and again, the book starts and he’s roughly 10ish (with flashbacks to younger) and it ends with him in his late 20s early 30s so he definitely grows and matures but he doesn’t change because he doesn’t NEED to.

[More reasons to read + warnings/ disclaimers + a snippet below cut so I don’t bother y’all with a hella long post XD

You should probs read the warnings before you read the book just FYI]

Writing Style: If the style of the Knife of Never Letting Go intrigued you but you couldn’t get past the first chapter then this is the book for you. Ox is a bit simple–In the best way possible–and the book is from his perspective. His thoughts are stated outright and he takes most things people say very literally. This doesn’t change and that’s the best part. I LOVE this about it and I was TERRIFIED that Klune was going to write Ox in this style for only the first couple chapters and then suddenly switch to him being some snarky genius, but he doesn’t!!! Honestly idk how to describe it, you’ve just got to read it.

If that doesn’t convince you:

- First of all, werewolves, who doesn’t love em?

- Second of all gays, like, everyone, no one is straight. That one side character who shows up once? Yeah, no, she shows up twice and the second time she has a girlfriend. The main characters? All gay, and if they aren’t gay in this book they will be in the next one.

- FOUND FAMILY

- It’s basically AFtG but gayer and softer? but not??

- Very realistic characters, they make stupid mistakes and people react accordingly

- Kelly and Carter and literally the best things in the world I would fucking murder for both of them and I’m pretty sure Kelly is confirmed by the author to be ace (btw they aren’t twins so you can’t even accuse me of being in love with every blond and kinda tragic set of twins I come across fuck off XD)

- OX STATES VERY BLATANTLY THAT HE IS BISEXUAL

- Very endearing coming out scenes

- Gordo Livingstone is perfect in just about every way and he’s also like if Neil and Seth were combined and grew up to be Wymack. ajsdf;lk just a dumbass gay trying really hard to be a good dad while also vehemently denying it. (Oh and yeah he literally had a boyfriend who he’s currently pissed at so)

- MC is not a genius and that’s not treated like a bad thing

- Please just read it I need more people to scream about it with me

Some warnings:

- it’s werewolves, there’s gore, obsessive use of the word “alpha” and lots of wolf-ish tendencies. Most of it comes across as fucking adorable, but ngl, sometimes it’s just a tad weird.

- people have v tragic backstories. None of it is worse than AFtG but it’s still very intense, more on the side of gore/ violence/ some torture than heavy non/con but there’s some mentions of that. (More vague allusions/ threats rather than graphic scenes don’t worry)

- *the only thing that really wigged me out about these books is the fact that the main couple have a 6 year age difference. Any way you spin that it’s weird, but I think it was handled as well as you can??? (idk man I’m still wigged out about that even tho they don’t actually DO anything until both of them are in their twenties but STILL)

- it is VERY angsty. I mean, the soft moments are SICKENINGLY soft and there’s some of the best comedy/ cute shit I’ve ever seen but–god the ouch stuff HURTS. If you don’t want to cry over a book I wouldn’t recommend reading this.

In conclusion:

If you wanted LGBT adventure content here it is!!! I mean, if it’s the sex scenes you’re about (or against XD) there’s only really two, one is the epilogue and one is about 2/3rds through the book but from what other people who actually understand sex say it’s NICE XDD also just a very nice character moment? I didn’t read all of it but from what I read it was v nice, they’re wholesome and stupid, I love them.

I actually really liked the romance? It’s v realistic and got the vibe of “neither of us have good self-confidence but I will DIE proving to you that you’re worth the entire world.” There’s very, very sappy and drawn out declarations of love, it’s adorable, sometimes a little weird (looking at you Joe), but altogether wholesome. There’s also a wee bit of possessiveness but it’s mostly(?) treated as the “uuuuhhhh, that’s not gonna go over well you need to chill” trait it should be.

It’s intense, and the last time I physically could not stop reading and stayed up all night just to finish a book was AFtG so...

It is quite a bit longer than AFtG tho, like, it took me the same amount of time to read just Wolfsong that I read all three of the AFtG books in. Sometimes it drags a little, especially in the middle, but it’s all worth it. Also if you don’t like drawn out “you will apologize on my terms because you fucked up on yours” kinda things I don’t think this is for you.

I loved it, the characters are to die for and the villains make my blood boil. I cried, and laughed and sobbed and screamed. 12/10

Here’s a lil bit to give you a taste:

Here’s a link to the Goodreads page if you want more details

And here’s a link to where you can buy the book ;)

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luthienebonyx · 4 years ago

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2020 Writing in Review

Total number of completed stories: Four (not counting tumblr ficlets and such)

Total word count: Somewhere in the region of 150k

Fandoms written in: Game of Thrones, Queen’s Thief - Megan Whalen Turner, and Friday’s Child - Georgette Heyer.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? In 2019 I wrote almost 230k in seven months. I knew there was no way I’d be that prolific in 2020. As it turned out, I was right, but for the wrong reasons. I did start off the year writing at a slower pace than the last, but then 2020 happened to me in several different ways at once and I didn’t write at all for three months. But THEN I got my writing mojo back and wrote 50k between the beginning of November and the end of December so... I don’t know. It definitely wasn’t expected, whatever else you call it.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? There were two stories that I absolutely LOVED writing, and I can’t choose between them, so I’ll talk about both.

The first happened completely by accident. In October, I read all six of the Queen’s Thief novels by Megan Whalen Turner, and to my surprise the narrator of book 5 grabbed me by the throat and wouldn’t let up until I’d written a story for him. That ended up taking the whole of November, and became Twelve Days. It was a very different story from anything I’d written recently: first person, spare(ish) style, slash, and a very, VERY distinctive narrative voice. I think Chapter 9 was probably the best bit of writing I’d done in a while.

However, at the beginning of December I had finished Twelve Days, and so started work on That Greek Thing - which is the second story I want to talk about. It is for the novel Friday’s Child by Georgette Heyer and is a story I’ve had in the back of my mind to write for literally twenty years. It also has a very distinctive narrative voice, but in a completely different way from Twelve Days. i’d wanted to write Heyer fic for years and never quite got up the nerve. This time, I finally wrote not just a Heyer fic, but this particular Heyer fic, and I loved every moment of writing it. Heyer’s style is very, VERY different from MWT’s, so it took me a little while to move mentally from one to the other, but once I got into the groove of it...

That Greek Thing wound up being 22k compared to Twelve Days’ 24k, but written in half the time. I mean, the fact that I was also writing the Heyer fic for Yuletide and so I was writing to a deadline also helped speed things along... But yeah, I’d been talking about writing that fic for 20 years, and I think it actually did turn out to be the story that I wanted it to be and hoped it would be.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wrote slash for the first time in nine years (Twelve Days), and then I wrote another slash story (That Greek Thing) right after. Not a risk, exactly, but certainly a change from what I’ve been writing for a while now. I guess writing in first-person was a bit of a risk. I hadn’t done that in a very long time, and it was always possible that I could have fucked it up. I also wrote in a teensy fandom (Queen’s Thief) where I was completely unknown, and that’s always a bit of a risk in terms of getting people to engage with you.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Hahaha. FINISH THINGS. First up, I need to finish my chill fest fic Doubt Truth to be a Liar. After that, there are my other four JB WIPs to see to. Once I get all of those sorted out, I will probably return to some profic projects that I started a few years ago.

Best story of the year? I’m not sure. It’s either Twelve Days or That Greek Thing, though. They’re so different that I honestly can’t say for sure which is better. I love the very angsty chapter in Twelve Days and I think it’s the best single bit of writing I’ve done in a while. Otoh, I love all the comedy in That Greek Thing, and the way some scenes go comedy-porn-comedy. Which is better? I don’t know, but I love them both.

Most popular story of the year? The Personal Touch, my JB physiotherapist modern AU. For some reason eight chapters of massages and sexual tension and wanking, followed by a sex scene that sprawled across two chapters, a semi-break-up and finally a happy ending appealed to a lot of readers. Ah, fandom. 😉

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Oh, easily, EASILY Twelve Days. Teensy fandom, unknown writer - there was never going to be a lot of notice shown. I’m pretty sure it’s the only story I’ve posted in 21 years of writing fanfic that had entire chapters that didn’t get a single comment.

Most fun story to write: That Greek Thing. I made myself laugh gleefully through most of it, and then the angst and hurt/comfort hit and I had even more fun!

Most unintentionally telling story: Heh. The Personal Touch for the physiotherapy stuff minus the sexual tension. I’ve been on a lot of treatment tables over the years...

Biggest disappointment: The usual one: that I have a finite amount of energy, so I can either do a reasonable amount of writing or do a reasonable amount of reading - but I can’t do both. So, once again, a lot of the stories that I really wanted to read went by the wayside.

Biggest surprise: That I wrote not one but two slash stories this year - and both of them featured intercrural sex. Not for the hell of it, either. Both stories needed it, but for very different reasons.

#memes #year in review #writing

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inyoursheets · 5 years ago

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2, 16, 18, 23!

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

wow ok this is surprisingly hard to answer! confronting! im not even sure, there isn’t anything specific ive got planned out that im excited to write. i don’t have any future projects planned out yet. or. i mean.....there are some things at the tips of my writing fingers but i can’t allow myself to think about them properly yet bc i need to focus on and commit to finishing warm water. and my thesis (ugh).

there are some things from warm water that ive already written that im excited to share, but right now im in a place where writing just isn’t going smoothly, so whenever i have an idea (like the eloquent “sweatpants dick” note i took recently) (my only contribution that day) im not all that confident or excited about it bc im afraid the actual writing itself will be a pain? that i’ll drag my feet for days and it won’t come easy and i’ll hate every second of it -- until things click and the words start flowing, not unlike this post describes. idk i keep really wanting to write and sitting down for it and then it just--won’t happen. or if i do actually try putting pen to paper i just start hating it all, which i don’t want.

so! this is a sad note to end on! here’s some vague things i am looking forward to: i’m looking forward to being excited about writing in general! i’m looking forward to writing something i’m proud of, either in terms of plot or theme or characterization or dialogue or whatever! i’m also looking forward to having that oh-my-god-the-words-are-flowing-from-me moment, regardless of the result tbh, bc i just love that feeling of loving writing and having it come easily. that’s what im excited about -- being excited about writing again.

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

ok so i have this terrible writing tendency to not know how to not describe every single action characters make -- every movement, every gesture. particularly on first drafts i feel the urge to describe it all, otherwise i can’t continue. i know that it’s not always necessary to write what happens every single second of a scene, but i can’t seem to stop?

idk if im explaining what i mean correctly -- there’s probably terms for this that i dont know -- but someone who i think manages to do the opposite of what i do very well is @fairhairedkings, who is really good at time jumps and not going overboard w the minute-to-minute descriptions, the way i tend to.

i know it can be pretty tiresome and it’s one of the things that annoys me a lot about my own writing, both in terms of reading it (it can be plain boring?) and for the writing itself. it blocks me! but i can’t seem to stop doing it, feel like i’m glazing over things otherwise or lose track of where im going. i have to keep reminding myself that leaving out certain things doesn’t mean that nothing happens or that people assume nothing happens.

so, to answer the question, ive tried to be a bit more concise with it’s hidden in heartbeats, exhales and in the hope of open hands when i started writing it. that fic is a product of being fed up with my other WIPs and it didn’t take more than a week from its initial idea to the finished product, so i really wanted it to be a quickie, and i thought something tight and concise could work for the plot. i didn’t actually manage to succeed though, still ended up describing just about every action there, too. i don’t think i’ll ever manage to write something concise tbh. i do bad with time jumps, i do bad with less is more, which is unfortunate, bc less can truly, truly be more. so! im gonna try this again some time!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

mmm well, warm water originally didn’t include mutual pining -- beth wasn’t supposed to be in love with rio yet, we were gonna watch her fall in love slowly, while he already felt things. but then i ended up almost turning that entirely on its head and now we’ve got the mess that is that this fic in its current state lol. there’s also an AU to warm water that i briefly considered bc of you which i won’t go into now bc of possible spoilers -- but ive considered things!!!

also for it’s hidden in heartbeats, it was supposed to be more about petty!rio and haha, look, exes trying to get “revenge”, and to be light and funny, but i realized that idk how relationships work, let alone how exes work, so i couldn’t really find any good reasons for them splitting up, at least nothing that could generate comedy, so it ended up getting fairly angsty? idk why this keeps happening -- me planning to do something rom com-esque and it developing into something wayyyyy angstier, but it did!

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

oh wow idek! ive definitely been working on warm water the longest, so i guess technically that one, but there are some other ideas that have been drifting near the surface that have been there longer and are very underdeveloped and need time and nourishment and attention and love, all of which i can’t give them yet bc im trying to stay focused on warm water and thesis writing. maybe the beth/stan friendship snippet ive got hidden in somewhere in my docs!

thank youuuu for indulging me!!! meta writing asks!!!!

#ask #ask games #foxmagpie #my fic #why am i so wordy

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agreymatter · 4 years ago

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that kitten!momo namo au is so cute 🥺 could u perhaps delve into momo’s past and how nayeon helps making her comfortable?

(got the smallest bit angsty, i’m sorry. but thank you! i’m happy you liked it.)

Nayeon is attentive, affectionate, touchy and tries her best to make her home Momo’s home as well. After Momo had finally begun to show affection back, Nayeon still treaded carefully about bringing up any bad memories from Momo’s past. Taking care to not raise her voice, in case it scared her, to always make sure that Momo was comfortable with whatever was happening in the apartment, always showing what she was doing if something made a loud clang. Momo was her priority and the foremost thought in her head.

It was a different life, a life that Momo didn’t have before, she could sit at the table, to sit on the couch, to cuddle with her owner. All the things she had longed to do with her last owner, but every attempt to show affection was always met with a loud shout, with a noise of annoyance at the hybrid’s every movement.

She still felt that want to love her owner, even if they were distant and mean, and cursed her out for simple being herself, and in her naivety, it only caused them to lash out at her more. Their shouting was deafening, it made her feel small and defenceless, they made her sit in the corner and not move. It became her spot whenever she did something ‘wrong’, made to just stay there and stay still. To not be a nuisance.

It wasn’t until after an incident with a movie that had especially loud pieces of dialogue, where a character was yelling at the top of their lungs, did Momo suddenly feel herself brought back to all the times she was berated and talked down to. She leapt off the couch, the words from her old owner ringing in her ears as though it was happening right there, filled with fear and dread as tears clouded her eyes, she cowered in a corner and covered her ears. Trying to block out all the loud noises. Shutting her eyes tightly.

A panic overcame Nayeon, who shuts off the television and slides immediately to Momo’s side. Pulling her head to her chest and trying calm the rapid heartbeat she can feel thumping loudly against her body. Momo moves into her touch, curling up in her owner’s lap as Nayeon is wrapping her legs around her body, gently rocking back and forth to make Momo feel safe. To make her know she was okay.

They stayed right there.

An hour had passed but Nayeon didn’t leave Momo’s side. Even after the crying had stopped, she wasn’t moving until Momo was okay. She’s whispering gentle reminders that she’s okay, that she’s safe, that her old owner isn’t here.

It’s another half hour before Momo’s hands finally loosen their grip on Nayeon’s shirt, her breathing levelling as she sniffles one last time, moving her chin onto Nayeon’s shoulder and falling asleep from the exertion. Nayeon hates the thought of Momo being mistreated, making a note not to watch anything too intense from then on. Making sure that Momo is fast asleep before picking themselves off the ground and moving to her bedroom.

As she watches Momo fall further and further into sleep, Nayeon can’t help but frown at the thought of Momo being treated badly. She was such an endearing kitten, so full of laughter and love, it left Nayeon angry. Angry that someone didn’t nurture that innate kindness in Momo but threw her to the side instead.

So, the next night it was a romcom, then a drama, another comedy and all with happy endings. They definitely made Nayeon laugh, and that sound was so comforting to Momo, who always joined her and warmly rested her head in Nayeon’s lap. Blissfully smiling at how happy her owner was, the warmth it gave Momo let her feel that bit more relaxed. That this was her home.

#anon #twice #sfw #nayeon #momo #namo #kitten!momo #drabble #ask

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empty-as-the-sky · 5 years ago

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Edward and Bella romantic comedy in Twilight is GOLD

Okay HOT TAKE.

TL;DR - The banter/comedy between Edward and Bella in Twilight is SO GOOD and it deserved to be kept in the movies and it’s a crime that it wasn’t.

As we all know, Twilight is mostly really problematic BUT re-reading the first book and the Midnight Sun draft I am DYING reading about all of the times Edward laughs at Bella or any time she says something sassy to him and they banter back and forth. It’s genuinely SO CUTE. When I was a young teen reading the books I loved their banter, and tbh I really didn’t think it would hold up years later, given how much of the books really DON’T hold up, but the banter absolutely does.

I think one of the reasons that the movies didn’t quite work for me - besides Chuckesme, the nightmarish CGI, terrible accents in BD pt 2, and the bad wigs - was that we didn’t get the humour of Bella and Edward’s relationship, and we didn’t really get to see the process of them falling in love. It just kind of . . . happened?

I’ve heard about that famous story in which Rob almost got fired from the first movie because he refused to be more light-hearted and smiley, and listen. I love Rob Pattinson because he is a chaotic boy and I love every interview he has ever done, but he really hated the books SO MUCH (fair) that he refused to play Edward as anything other than a depressed, ultra-serious boy. And sorry, but that sucks. Just do your job. Like yes, Edward is dramatic AF but he also thinks Bella is so funny that he’s ALWAYS laughing at her. In Midnight Sun, other kids in his class frequently give him weird looks because he is laughing OUT LOUD or smiling to himself at the shit that Bella does and says. The director/producers were TOTALLY RIGHT in highlighting all of Edward’s light-hearted moments in the book for Rob because there are so many of them, more than a lot of people seem to remember. And yeah, I think that maybe Rob should have been fired so that someone else who would have taken that direction could have played the part. In Romeo & Juliet, the rule with doing that show is that the angst and tragedy is only compelling if the first half is fully played as a rom-com and if it’s actually funny. You can’t play the end at the beginning. Same goes for Twilight, and most things tbh. Otherwise, you don’t really root for the central couple if it’s all melodrama and angst all the time. No one wants to see characters predicting the tragedy. I think that’s part of why, on top of all the actual legit criticism, a lot of people criticized Twilight for being too teenage angsty or mumbly when that wasn’t really the book at all, and the comedy allows for a lot more self-awareness to come through.

I’m not even going to quote all of the times that Edward suppresses, or tries to suppress a laugh or a smile at Bella’s expense in Twilight. There are way too many, but they are constantly roasting each other.

Maybe I’m projecting my own feelings onto the books that aren’t really there, but hear me out:

- In the early days, Bella keeps parking so far away from Edward in the parking lot and in Midnight Sun, Edward is upset and confused by it EVERY SINGLE TIME. And they’re both frowning about it but for different reasons. Bella’s frowning because she’s trying to stay away from his dramatic, beautiful, mood-swinging, abrupt ass and he’s frowning because he doesn’t understand why she is avoiding him and he’s sad about it. He’s like, “Why?? Did she park so far away from me?? Do you think she’ll come talk to me? Hopefully she will. Hopefully she won’t?? DO YOU THINK SHE’LL WALK PAST ME? SHOULD I TAKE A DEEP GULP OF AIR JUST IN CASE??

- In Midnight Sun, Edward is so amused at Bella getting emotional over the snow chains that Charlie put on her tires. Seconds before he sees Alice’s vision about the van, he’s just like, “This girl?? Is getting emotional?? Over her truck?? Why is this human?? So weird??”

- Bella FUMING about Edward just getting to waltz right through the hospital doors like a normal person and not having to receive medical attention after the accident. Edward even betrayed her by telling them that she hit her head and maybe had a concussion, because she DID hit her head, but she is SO GRUMPY that he showed concern for her physical health, cause we all know this depressed bitch wouldn’t have. And she is SO EMBARRASSED about having to wear a neck brace and loaded into an ambulance, that she has the balls to take off the neck brace and chuck it under the bed when no one is looking. We stan an iconic queen. Like babe, they put that on you for a reason but you just like throwing your own safety out the window I guess.

- Edward realizing that he never noticed how clumsy Bella is as he watches her through the eyes of her classmates? Also iconic. “Goddamn, this clumsy ass human, how does she?? Survive??”

- EDWARD CUTTING BELLA OFF IN THE PARKING LOT AFTER SCHOOL SO THAT TYLER ASKS HER OUT IN FRONT OF HIM IS ALSO SO FREAKING FUNNY. And Bella being tempted to scratch the paint on his car when she sees him shaking with laughter? So good.

- Edward trying to irritate Bella by making her think he’s going to be the fourth person to ask her to the dance, only to ask her to go to Seattle instead at the last minute

- “THE WASTING OF FINITE RESOURCES IS EVERYONE’S BUSINESS”

- Bella being too embarrassed to tell Edward her comic book-inspired theories but Edward dazzling her into telling him anyway, and then he just proceeds to roast her about her lack of originality

- Edward almost RIPPING THE DOOR OFF HIS CAR when he sees Mike lowering Bella to the ground after she faints in Biology because EDWARD THINKS SHE’S DEAD? And then Bella sees him approaching and IS SO EMBARRASSED and just tells him to go away? Chapters 3-5 of Twilight in terms of ComedyTM are *chef’s kiss*

- Edward just scooping up Bella and being super entertained at the irony that the sight of blood makes her ill.

- “He absolutely loathes me” - Edward about Mike, CHEERFULLY

- Bella calling Edward pushy when he insists on driving her home, which is just really accurate, because he absolutely is

- Edward making Bella lean in and then asking her not to fall into the ocean in La Push and Bella. Is. SO offended.

- Bella grabbing her own throat and pretending to be terrified when Edward says “Breakfast time” IS SO FUNNY and then her making a bad joke about “watching her hunt” and all she gets is CEREAL, while Edward looks on in confusion, like this girl has a sense of humour

People, the first half of Twilight in terms of rom-com material is fantastic. Yes there are still problematic elements and there’s a surprising (and worrying) amount of ableist language in the text, and there are obviously other issues with Edward and consent for sure. BUT the the banter is comedy gold and the problematic bits can be so easily edited out for adaptation. The banter makes Edward and Bella way more compelling as a couple because it makes them more human (no pun intended) and real, and it definitely gives them more personality.

In the movie, I just feel like we missed how gradual them falling in love really was and how reluctant they both were about it, and their belligerent banter was a big part of the sexual tension between them. Otherwise, I’m not really sure where it came from other than the fact that Kristen and Rob are really beautiful humans. Even though they were a couple at the time, I really missed that part of their chemistry onscreen.

I’m aware that for the movie, a lot of it came down to having to cut stuff in the script for time’s sake. But I still think they could have kept the spirit of the banter while cutting what they needed to.

Look, there’s a lot in the Twilight canon that’s not compelling at all, so it makes me really sad that one of the genuinely compelling things didn’t make it into the movies at all.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#twilight #twilight saga #stephenie meyer #midnight sun #twilight renaissance #comedy #romantic comedy #edward x bella #edward cullen #bella swan #books to movies

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the-good-noodle-kf · 5 years ago

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Redacted (First) Impressions

My Saiou Winter Exchange Gift for @evil-muffins

Prompt: Pre-game fic, angsty w/ a side of fluff

Hope you like c:

Life has no meaning.

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“My name is ******* ***. My audition number is three-hundred fifty-one.”

“I’m… always looked down on and.. I probably deserve it. So, I thought, fuck my memories huh? It’s not like I care about anyone. Just… I don’t want to be weak anymore. I want to be rewritten as someone less weak. Maybe I could be someone to look up to, like a leader. But, it doesn’t matter what I am; I’m desperate, and isn’t that what you want from people? People so desperate that they’ll willingly offer their lives away to become part of a killing game?”

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Every day is a string of bland pointless blurs that bleed into the next like watercolor paint.

So, why not make life as interesting as possible?

Kokichi Oma stares blankly. He presses down on the lit power button of his computer monitor, effectively shutting it off. It’s done. That’s it. The chance that they’ll consider him is low, but maybe they - Team Danganronpa - will find value in him that no one else has. He barely got a submission number. It took hours of staying awake, eyes peeled, staring at the stinging blue light of the screen until he requested an audition as fast as he possibly could. Even still, he ended up with number three-hundred fifty-one. He wonders how someone could possibly get the first audition.

Applying for Danganronpa has become much more… commonplace, ever since they began using simulation technology. As strange as it may seem, not everyone is exactly willing to stake their lives on a show, but for some, their memories are a small price to pay for becoming a part of the show. Though it might also have something to do with the prize money, Oma doesn’t care much about that. He’s omniscient enough to know that he definitely doesn’t have a very high self-worth… or self-preservation for that matter, but it’s not like he can change that just from being aware of it.

II.

School is boring.

Each additional day of school he's feeling more tired and drained, regardless of how much he falls asleep in class. What is the point of working if he has nothing to work towards?

III.

Shuichi Saihara.

It’s the name of his new coworker… the one he’s supposed to be training. Oma’s worked at the place for not even a year, yet his boss says he’s qualified to teach the boy that was hired just a few days ago.

“Thank you for shopping! Have a great day!” He repeats his response, with his cyclic forced smile bridging his cheeks. It’s almost robotic, in how habitual and automatic it’s become after saying it to every single customer once they’ve paid. He looks to Saihara once the little bell on the door rings, signaling the exit of the customer, and he’s back to his normal expression. It’s not a frown, but it’s definitely not a smile either. “And that’s it. Did you want to try?” he offers, not really sure himself.

Saihara’s staring at him closely, like he doesn’t know what to make of him, but yet he still startles at the response. His brows furrow together but he does nod, so Oma moves aside and lets Saihara stand in front of the register instead. Saihara mumbles as he looks down at the keys, “I wonder why...”

Oma tilts his head at the unfinished sentence as he assesses Saihara. He’s taller than him, and he seems nervous. Oma can also see that he’s good looking, but he probably isn’t a very popular or outgoing person, judging by his mannerisms.

IV.

Working is… habitual for Oma. It’s not that he particularly hates it, and he does make money, but he only does it because he knows that he’d otherwise be doing legitimately nothing, and doing something at least makes him feel a little better about himself. Regardless of how much he dreads being a functional human being in general, he has to - he has to because he’s terrified of what will happen if he stops.

“Ah, Oma-kun,”

Oma looks over with curiosity at the other as he restocks shelves. It’s only the two of them right now. There haven’t been many customers because of the cold, dreary weather. It’s also a Monday, so people are too busy working or at afterschool activities to have any need to stop at the relatively small convenience store.

“Your cheek…” Saihara trails off, scratching his wrist, and Oma reflexively lifts his hand and brushes his fingers over the scrape, reminding him of it with a slight sting.

He lifts up the corners of his cheeks, walls raising, “hmmmm?”

“W-wait, I have-” Saihara cuts himself off as he runs off into the employee’s only door. It’s a little room with a few tiny lockers that Oma throws his school bag in on the days he comes straight from school. Saihara comes back with a bag of his own and huh- Oma didn’t expect Saihara to have so many Danganronpa pins, or any really; there’s a little Monokuma keychain hanging from one of the zippers too. He raises his eyebrows and even smiles a little bit at the thought of someone else liking what he likes, but it’s smothered by the fear of being known, of showing who he really is, and Saihara is oblivious to all this as he tugs a band-aid out of the front pocket and hands it to Oma.

It’s like his mind fizzles like a burnt-out lightbulb for a second when Saihara, instead of just handing him the band-aid like a normal person, envelops Oma’s hand with his own and deposits the band-aid with the other. Oma’s sure that’s not normally how people give other people band-aids, or anything, but the feeling of Saihara’s shockingly warm hand is gone as quick as it arrived when he releases him and smiles. Oma’s even more embarrassed because he actually briefly considered if Saihara was a warm or cold hands person, which isn’t normal, because who does that? Who thinks about their co-worker’s hand temperature - who he doesn’t really know, but seems really nice, if handing him a band-aid could be considered a point of reference.

Oma’s not even sure what tangent his mind is going off on this time, so he looks down in his hand at the band-aid and sees that - huh, it’s got Kyoko Kirigiri on it. He must’ve mumbled her name aloud because Saihara gasps and has an expression that almost reminds Oma of a dog wagging its tail. “You watch Danganronpa?” Saihara grabs his hands again, and Oma knows he can’t blame his blush on anything else but Saihara if questioned.

He squeaks out an “mhm,” and tries to look back at the band-aid that’s now fallen on the floor after Saihara grabbed his hands, and he ends up just looking at their hands. Why is he so focused on Saihara holding his hands?

Saihara lets go and runs to put his bag away again, at least, that’s what Oma assumes. It gives him a moment to pick the band-aid up off the floor and come to realize why, in fact, Saihara handed him the band-aid in the first place. ...Does he… expect me to put this band-aid on my face?

...But, it would be rude not to. So he opens the band-aid and sticks it on his face, approximating where he puts the cottony part over the place on his face that’s stinging the most when he brushes his finger over it. It wasn’t even bleeding, but Saihara practically beams when he comes back, and the rest of his shift goes by like a fog. He’s not really able to focus on anything after experiencing that - he was completely unprepared.

VI.

Oma isn’t sure why he keeps thinking about Saihara. He’s ashamed of himself. Why does he keep going back to the feeling of Saihara’s hands on his? It was completely… platonic? Except Oma doesn’t think that word works either, because there’s no way him and Saihara are friends, even if they’ve spent a total of fifteen hours together total since he met Saihara three days ago; he’s known him three days, and already, he has some dumb, crush, or something. He doesn’t know what to do with it, and having not had any physical contact that wasn’t bodily damaging with someone in as many years as he can remember, isn’t helping him. He groans aloud as he face-plants into the open textbook on his mattress. He wouldn’t call it a bed, since it has no sheets and sits on the floor instead of being sandwiched between a bed frame.

He peers over to the side of his resting place where his little trash can is and of course, there’s the band-aid that he peeled from his cheek immediately after getting back from work last night - not home, he’s never “home” when he’s here - and of course everything he looks at is reminding him of the boy.

He’s not supposed to do this - to want to be held; he’s not a damn child. He definitely can’t count the number of times he’s thought about Saihara hugging him on one hand. He’s not supposed to do this.

For one of many times, he wonders why he’s like this. Why is he like this?

VII.

Oma’s something of a… target, at school. He fits the parameters perfectly; he’s small, short, effeminate, generally weak, quiet. It’s nothing dramatic like being beaten up within the school, luckily. It’s the little things, like being tripped in the hallways by an upperclassmen’s ‘conveniently’ outstretched foot and then snickered at, having a book of his be hung high above his head, out of his reach, by another student until he repeated whatever idiotic thing they wanted him to say, the occasional mockery, his belongings getting stolen when he’s not looking, being chosen as the designated monkey in the middle as his belongings are tossed between two guys that think they’re the absolute pinnacle of comedy, and various other meaningless things he deals with.

School is something he can handle, though.

VIII.

“Oma-kun.” Saihara ducks his head as he pushes his phone into Oma’s hands. It’s open on the contacts screen, and Oma stares at it for a second, the unfilled contact info, before realizing it’s Saihara’s roundabout way of asking him for his number. He smiles a little and Saihara’s eyes widen, his expression becoming pretty serious as he takes in Oma’s grin.

Oma doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Saihara points it out, “You’re smiling.”

Even though he’s a little self-conscious now it’s been acknowledged, he still nods, and smiles even wider; he hands the phone back to Saihara, his number in place.

IX.

He wishes he could handle being home as well as he can handle school.

Saihara texts Oma a lot.

He’s constantly sending messages about anything and everything, especially Danganronpa. As Oma reads through he wonders if Saihara just texts him every time he thinks something. It doesn’t bother him though; every time he gets a new message he smiles in a way that he would deny if he were face to face with Saihara.

It’s a little weird, but hearing Saihara’s thoughts and theories and opinions is so interesting. Oma really hopes Saihara doesn’t get discouraged by his own lack of response. He doesn’t ignore him, but his replies are far and few between - things like little smile emotes and one-word responses. He doesn’t exactly know how to reply otherwise.

He can’t help but feel hesitant. Talking about his own opinions makes him feel self-centered and narcissistic, and he wants to be anything but that. What if Saihara thinks that he turns everything around to make it about himself? Saihara probably doesn’t want to hear what he has to say anyway… Oma’s come to accept the fact that people don’t want to hear what he has to say, so he stays quiet.

That doesn’t stop him from reading all of Saihara’s messages over again and grinning secretively under his blanket.

XI.

Saihara invites him over the next day. It’s Sunday, and neither of them is scheduled at work, so Oma accepts.

Getting ready is nerve-wracking for Oma, because he can’t remember the last time he had a friend to hang out with. It’s such a “normal people” thing to do - leisurely spend the day with friends. It’s a thing that feels so out of the ordinary to someone like Oma. He puts on a long sleeve shirt but then changes out of it after his nervousness makes his body temperature rise, and the sleeves feel a little too tight and warm. He puts it on again because of how bare his arms feel in a T-shirt and maneuvers around the floor and out the door before he can change his mind or before his aunt notices his presence.

The first impression Oma has of Saihara’s living space is that it’s quiet. It’s also pretty neat and ordinary, and Saihara makes no mention of any parents or relatives which leaves Oma feeling a little curious.

The day is surreal. He and Saihara talk and watch some of the earlier seasons of Danganronpa while eating some artificial tasting junk food, and it’s fun. It’s so fun. He’s shocked about how natural it feels, spending time with the other boy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so content, ever had a true, genuine smile on his face for so long - ever had someone else have such a genuine smile on their face in return.

Saihara asks him things and he answers them, because if he’s asked, then he can talk about himself. Oma’s glad that Saihara wants to know about him just as much as he wants to learn about Saihara.

He wants it to last, and there’s a twisting feeling in his chest because he’s already convinced that it won’t.

When Oma gets back, it’s late enough that he has to sneak in through his window - the apartment is on the ground floor, and the screen already has holes torn into it that make it easy to reach in and remove before placing it back and latching it in. The brass latch reminds him of the color of Shuichi’s eyes as he locks it - Oma’s not sure when Saihara became Shuichi - and he’s so caught up in Shuichi, and talking to Shuichi, that he jumps when a door slams, shaking all thoughts of his day out of his mind.

XII.

Oma doesn’t know what to do. The day after visiting Saihara had been one of the worse ones recently, and Shuichi catches onto it through his messages somehow and asks him if he’s okay of all things.

And Oma replies, “why?”

Oma doesn’t know what to do when Shuichi Saihara sends him the five-word message, “because I care about you…”

No one cares about him. That’s just how things are. There’s no way Saihara actually cares about him. Why would he?

XIII.

If Shuichi cares about him, then why couldn’t his parents?

XIV.

He’s not exactly sure when he and Shuichi became friends, but he supposes it happened somewhere between Shuichi making it known that he was generally concerned for Oma’s well being, (that’s never happened to him before; have someone be concerned? About him? The ridiculous idea rolls around in Oma’s head like an optimistic interposition), Oma realizing that on his days off, he’d long for Shuichi’s presence, and their countless messages to each other that make the longing a little more bearable.

It’s new to Oma. He’s never… craved the company of another. It makes him feel pathetic, but also… kind of lonely.

It makes the moments when he’s around Shuichi all the better.

XV.

He becomes Kokichi to Shuichi. Being addressed by his given name, despite giving Shuichi his explicit permission, makes Kokichi feel giddy.

XVI.

School isn’t so bad… especially on the days that Shuichi takes the train over so they can walk home together.

Side by side.

Hand in hand.

XVII.

He wants to kiss Shuichi.

XVIII.

Kokichi’s room is a less depressing place when he has Shuichi to sneak in. The two of them waste time by watching movies on Kokichi’s computer or playing board games that Shuichi carried in.

XIX.

Shuichi speaks up from behind the register when the store is devoid of customers. “I noticed…” he starts, scratching at his wrist, and Kokichi looks up to make eye contact “at first, you always had this smile on, but it was just pretend…”

Kokichi doesn’t have time to react before Shuichi’s continuing his train of thought.

“But when I asked for your phone number, you had a different smile for the first time. It made me really happy to see that I made you smile for real…” Shuichi fumbles with his hands, but Kokichi doubts that Shuichi’s more embarrassed than he is after hearing something so… sentimental.

XX.

Shuichi’s favorite thing about Kokichi may be seeing him smile, but Kokichi’s favorite thing about Shuichi is feeling his warm arms enveloping him when they hug.

Kokichi’s feelings have escalated so much that he’s drowning in them, and he doesn’t ever want to come up for air.

XXI.

Oma’s long sleeves usually hide the finger-sized bruises on his arms, but he can’t hide the ones around his neck.

Shuichi goes on high alert as he shuts the door behind them. It is the first time he’s seeing where Kokichi lives - besides when he snuck into Kokichi’s window with snacks to watch a movie on his computer - but it isn’t the time to take notice of the dilapidated state of the furniture and wallpaper. All he can focus on is the alarming marks on Kokichi’s neck that look like someone shoved him up against a wall and didn’t let him breathe for who knows how long. “What happened?" Concerned, he reaches a hand out to gesture and Oma flinches.

Oma wants to tell him, “I forgot to lock the door, so my aunt got mad,” because, she didn’t want him to begin with, it’s not her fault she got stuck with him after his parents left. He wasn’t wanted. At least he had somewhere to sleep, his aunt would tell him, and Oma thought she was right.

But he can’t tell him that, because that would mean seeing the look in Shuichi’s eyes as he realizes Kokichi is a burden to him too.

“It’s nothing,” he deflects.

It’s silent as Saihara mumbles, but in a way that’s loud enough to hear, “I knew something was off when we first met. When you got so guarded about how you got that scrape on your cheek. I thought maybe someone was bullying you at school, but after we started walking together, I knew that wasn’t the case.”

Oma shrinks back, but Saihara keeps going.

“I didn’t push it at the time, because it was none of my business, but… was it… your guardian?”

He says “guardian” because Oma hasn’t spoken a word to him about his aunt. But the silence is Shuichi’s answer.

“Kokichi, you have to tell someone- you can’t just let them-” let them what? Give him what he deserves? He’s a problem child. A burden. A -

“I can’t.” Saihara doesn’t understand. Oma doesn’t even have it that bad. It could be so much worse, and he can stick it out for a few more years, can’t he?

A failure. “It won’t get better if you don’t report this!”

Oma avoids his eyes. “Shut up.”

A mistake. “I’m trying to help,” he says pleadingly, desperately.

“Maybe I don’t want your help! I’m not some problem that you have to solve Saihara!”

Saihara’s lips thin and when Oma expects him to retaliate he just - leaves. He turns around and runs off, shutting the door behind him.

It’s only after he’s gone and Oma is standing in the middle of the quiet, empty room that Oma is encompassed in the feeling of absolute dread.

XXII.

Saihara doesn’t show up for work the next day. Oma feels guilt gnawing at him during his shift, because it’s all his fault. He shouldn’t have pushed Saihara away. He texts him “sorry” and “can we talk?” through budding tears and hopes Saihara can forgive him.

XXIII.

He hasn’t texted him back anything in the past forty-eight hours, so Oma sighs and lets his feelings pour out in a long message when Saihara doesn’t answer his call. He tells him that he’s sorry, and that he doesn’t want Saihara to hate him.

XXIV.

The water cup he filled the night before has an almost stale taste to it in the morning, but Oma drinks it anyway because his throat is dry, and he can’t summon the energy to get up even though he’s been sleeping for the past thirteen hours. He’s still tired once he sets the cup down so he scrolls mindlessly through his past messages to and from Saihara before staring at Saihara’s last message to him, before their fight. He hasn’t said anything since.

He doesn’t go to school; he’s already sleeping again by the time it starts and he’s too preoccupied to care.

XXV.

With no reply, Oma gets worried really quickly. It’s unlike Saihara to completely… cut him off. He at least figured Saihara would reject his apology upfront instead of hiding away and giving him the silent treatment.

His chest makes that twisting feeling again and he feels unbearably nauseous when he goes to Saihara’s apartment and no one opens the door. There’s not even the telltale sound of footsteps towards the door to signal someone checking who’s there.

It’s like no one’s home.

He sits curled up in his blankets and practically spams Saihara with messages of “please answer me” and “tell me that you’re okay” but Saihara answers none of them. He’s sweating, and heaving, and he doesn’t care if Saihara hates him, he only wants him to say something. Oma needs a reply so he doesn’t keep panicking like he is now, thinking something happened to Saihara; he feels sick, and he can’t stop thinking about it.

XXVI.

Oma tries to rationalize. Saihara doesn’t have any family, and after Oma shut him out, maybe he simply… left. Just because he disappeared doesn’t mean something bad happened.

But, Oma thinks, what if something bad did happen. What if Saihara was abducted - or - or - killed? The thought of Saihara being dead makes Oma so uncomfortable; his throat feels like it’s closing up and it’s hard to swallow his own saliva. He’s growing more and more anxious each day he shows up to work and Saihara isn’t there beside him, despite being scheduled.

XXVII.

The metal of the buttons and zipper on his clothes feel especially cold against his skin as he gets ready for school. He probably looks terrible, but he can’t find it in himself to worry about that.

He has more important things to worry about.

Saihara is more important.

XXVIII.

Oma remembers sending in his Danganronpa application and thinks, this would be the perfect time to forget everything I’ve ever cared about, but then, what if Saihara comes back?

He wants Saihara to come back.

He wants to say sorry for shutting him out when he shouldn’t have.

He wants to have more long conversations about whatever comes to mind.

He wants to see Saihara smile at him again.

He wants to sit next to Saihara and watch movies for hours on end.

He wants to feel Saihara’s hands on his like that day when Saihara gave him that stupid Kirigiri band-aid.

He wants Saihara to forgive him.

XXIX.

His aunt makes him feel worthless.

XXX.

He should’ve kissed him when he had the chance.

XXXI.

Oma lies in his unmade bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.

It’s been over a week.

Why hasn’t Saihara replied to him? How can he fix this? Did Saihara forget about him like everyone else has?

His eye sockets are weighed down by a combination of depression and sleep deprivation.

His phone speaker blares through the silence - his alarm - his mind supplies through the ever-unchanging headache. He turns it off, already awake, and forces himself out of the temporary comfort of his blanket’s embrace, and gets dressed for work. Because he has to. Because he doesn’t know what else he’ll do if he doesn’t.

Because he hopes Saihara will show up.

(He doesn’t.)

On his walk home from work, he’s approached and pulled into a car, hearing the engine and looking out at the silent street as he falls into panicked unconsciousness. The initiation for the fifty-third killing game commences.

Ouma hesitates as he comes to the memories section of the contract. Even after everything, the participants won’t get their memories back... he won’t remember ever meeting Saihara; he won’t remember falling in love. He’ll know of nothing but whatever backstory Team Danganronpa cooks up for him.

But...

Saihara’s gone. As hard as it is to think about, Ouma doesn’t think Saihara will be waiting for him once the simulation ends. No one cares about him anyways, so he might as well make things interesting, right?

...right?

Ouma’s nose is tingly; his lower eyelids are about to spill over as he signs the contract, signing his past and present away.

Two doors down, Shuichi Saihara does the same.

Life has no meaning.

I also posted this on my Ao3 Account (More A/N there)

34 notes · View notes

hey-hey-chan · 6 years ago

Text

Friend-zoned - Seungmin

❀ Comedy&slightangst

❀ Word Count: 8.7K

❀ Tired of being friend-zoned, Kim Seungmin swears to not let the next girl think of him only as a friend. Unfortunately, his plans start to fall through as a spunky and eccentric girl comes into his life, knocking him on his feet. Will he finally win his crush’s heart or will he be friend-zoned once again?

❀ a/n: YES THIS IS A SPINOFF TO “Fake Boyfriend - Changbin” hehe , this is Seungmin’s life! I brought back the o/c in Fake Boyfriend as well as Changbin too heeheh I hope you guys like this despite this being hecka long :)

P.S. You don’t need to read Fake Boyfriend to understand this fic but it is recommended! :)

❀ ❀ ❀

I stood awkwardly to the side as my best friend, Kyungmi, made out with her boyfriend in the hallway. The two of them had negative zero shame about PDA, which was absolutely disgusting. I was no prude, but I certainly disliked seeing people stick their tongues down each other’s throats. It was horrific.

I coughed loudly to make sure they both knew I was still there. My best friend leaned away with her eyes glazed and starstruck. Her boyfriend, Changbin, aka the biggest asshole with an attitude on campus, smirked at me and shrugged like he did nothing wrong. That prick.

I had supported their relationship, even when they both mutually lied to me, but Changbin was still irritating. I was used to winning every argument, but this boy would start screaming out of nowhere which caused me to go crazy.

We didn’t get along to say the least.

“Sorry, Seungmin. Got a lil’ carried away there.” The girl smiled shyly at the older boy while he gave her a soft kiss back.

“Maybe if Seungmin had a girl, he wouldn’t be so uptight.” Changbin closed his locker and nudged me to the side.

Changbin always, and I mean always, pressured me to get into a relationship. And I would never admit this out loud, but I just wasn’t the type of guy girls wanted to date. I was always friend-zoned left and right which left me no girls to flirt with.

“Yeah, what’s the hold up, Minnie? You are a good-looking dude with charm! Girls should be falling at your feet.” I blushed at the girl’s compliments.

“Maybe it’s you who we should be setting up on tons of dates.”

As soon as Changbin said those words, my best friend punched him on the shoulder in excitement. I shuddered.

“YES! That’s fantastic! Oh please, Seungmin, let us set you up with girls! Please??” The girl whined while tugging on my arm. Changbin smirked at me like he was finally getting his revenge on me. I raised a brow and sighed, knowing I was going to lose this fight. Plus, I was better than my best friend at talking to the opposite sex. If this turned out badly, I would just make more friends. Which would hurt my ego once again, but what can I do about being “best guy friend material”?

“Ok, fine, set it up.” I looked up at the clock in the hallway, eager to get away from the devious couple. “Look, I gotta go, but text me the details I guess.”

“No worries, bro, you’re in good hands.”

When I looked back, Changbin was giving me a devious smile. I knew he still didn’t forgive me yet for forcing Kyungmi for going on dates she didn’t want to go on, but that was just our dynamic. If she wasn’t up for it, she would’ve told me.

I gave the boy a glare back and walked into my first class of the day: English.

❀ ❀ ❀

As soon as I plopped down in my chair, I felt another presence plop next to me.

“Hey, where were you all morning? I was waiting for you.” My other friend, or classmate, or whatever, Yeji, noted. I took off my glasses and wiped them on my shirt for dramatic effect.

“The couple caught up to me again.” Since the two always stuck together, everyone just called them ‘the couple’. Demeaning yet cute at the same time.

“Ah, as always. I still can’t believe your cute little best friend ended up with... Changbin.” I laughed loudly and nodded.

“You and me both. I still can’t wrap my mind around it. But, she always had a knack for liking bad boys.” I shrugged. My best friend was constantly reading books about nerd girls ending up with the baddest boy in school. It was rotting her mind obviously.

“Hm, most girls do.” Yeji noted. I examined her cute and sharp features that were now scrunched together. “I’ll admit, even I fall for them sometimes, but the nice guys always win my heart in the end.” I gave her a small smile back as she looked flushed.

Okay, okay, I like this girl.

She was cute, but intense; shy, yet independent. She was perfect.

“Hey, are you going to prom?” I asked curiously. It was only the biggest event of junior and senior year. I was always at the event, as it comes with the title of being class president every year.

The girl blushed and looked down. I had enough female friends that I knew what that meant. “Um, I-”

“KIM SEUNGMIN!” I heard a female voice yell my name. I recognized the irritating voice immediately. I smiled tightly at Yeji who was now staring at me with confused eyes.

I sighed and turned sadly, which now I was staring at a girl who I had always found annoying.

“What, y/n?”

Y/N.

She was the typical emo kid in high school. She was annoying, but she really only had a few close friends. She only talked to you if it benefited her and her only. She had dark black hair but it was dyed purple at the tips. Her eyeliner was thick, and no, I don’t makeup shame, but it definitely made her look more like the “rockstar” she claimed to be. She wore all black; black skinny jeans that were ripped everywhere and probably breaking dress code, black long sleeves that hugged her every curve, and even paired her outfit with black Doc Martens. She screamed angst.

We never got along and we had gone to school since our freshman year of high school. She was the only girl, or person really, in our grade that I never could befriend.

“Well, today I talked to the principal about my band playing at prom, but they said to ask you, mister president. So, what is it?”

I rolled my eyes at the girl. “Y/N, I told you, no one wants a live band. Everyone just wants stuff that’s on the radio or whatever.”

“Well, shitty music plays on the radio. And shitty singers. That I can sing better than. So, that’s why you should let me play at prom. Plus, wouldn’t letting us play promote like... school spirit?”

“Yes, a group of angsty teenagers would really boost the moral of the school.”

That poked the wrong buttons on the girl. She bent down to my level and glared at me. “Really? Stereotyping me now?” She spat.

I felt myself waver at her intense gaze, but I wouldn’t let myself lean back. “It’s nothing personal.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, because no matter how ‘angsty’ I appear to be, I probably have higher self-esteem than any of these bobble heads.” She raised a brow at the girl sitting next to me, Yeji, which made me feel territorial.

“Hey, you’re talking to me. You don’t need to drag other people into this.” Yeji shrank back in fear at y/n who was now smiling.

“Aw sorry, I don’t mean to upset the girlfriend.”

“Oh, you’ve misunderstood, we’re not together.” Yeji answered quickly which sparked sadness in my heart. I tried to not look hurt, but after hearing those words so many times, I was used to them.

I never understood girls’ needs to shoot down dating someone so quickly. Especially when they’re sitting right next to the accused.

Yeji’s words and my reaction caused y/n’s eyes to flicker with interest.

“Well, I hope you’ll take my proposition seriously. Bye, Seungmin.” She strutted away with a little sway in her hips. I tried not to look at her ass since that was rude.

I quickly snapped out of it and turned to Yeji. “Um, sorry about her. She’s kind of... a lot.” Yeji nodded.

“It’s ok, I’ve heard rumors about her. She’s bad news, everyone knows that.”

For some reason, I accepted her words. Y/N technically was bad news. Everyone knew she skipped school too much to count, but I wouldn’t necessarily call her a bad girl. But to impress Yeji, I just nodded.

“Yeah, um, so prom?”

Yeji’s eyes wavered now, which was a bad sign. Bad bad sign. “Uh, yeah, thinking about it.”

My confidence diminished and I decided to go the friendly route. “Well, hopefully if you go, they’ll be playing shitty pop music than whatever y/n wants to play.”

The girl laughed, which shot my confidence back up.

I not going to be friend-zoned, not this time.

Before I could plot out how to win Yeji’s heart, the teacher walked into the class.

“Good morning class.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Park.” The class hummed back. Mrs. Park set a pile of packets on her table, which caused the class to stare at the large stack.

“Today class, I’ve been wondering what to do since it’s your senior year and all. I was thinking about fun English inspired things.”

“This doesn’t sound good.” Yeji hummed under her breath. I chuckled, making sure she knew I was interested in what she wanted to say.

“And finally, the idea popped into my head! A group project!” The class groaned, even me. Everyone hated group projects. “Oh hush! This will be fun! I’ll be pairing you guys up in pairs of 2 to write your own creative story. It has to be at least 10 pages and fit all the components of what I’m about to hand out. I have some prompts on here as well, but you’re free to write what you want. The prompts are just to get you guys started.”

The class glared daggers at her head as she droned on about how good this project would be and how excited she was to read our stories. All we heard was how we had to arrange irrational times with our classmates who had completely different lives than us. Fantastic.

“Now, I’m sure you guys have been anxiously waiting about who you’re paired with.”

Mrs. Park slid a piece of paper out of her folder and started reading.

“Yeji and Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin, who was sitting in the front row, turned around to smile at Yeji. Who had turned a light shade of pink at the boy. Oh great.

“Jeno and Jaemin. Haechan and Somi.”

Mrs. Park droned on with names until I perked up at mine.

“Seungmin and....”

Please don’t be y/n. Please don’t be y/n.

“And y/n.”

Fuck.

I looked over at the girl who was already looking in my direction with a smirk. She gave me an evil wave and laughed silently.

“The story is due 2 weeks from now. It shouldn’t be too hard with two heads working together and you guys would be surprised on how quickly 10 pages will go. Good luck!”

The last 10 minutes of class were dedicated to meeting up with your partner and scheduling times to write the paper and how to organize it.

“So, are you going to write our paper mister president?” y/n asked mockingly. I hated when she called me that.

“First of all, my name is Seungmin. And second, no way in hell am I going to write this for you.” The girl rolled her eyes as I opened the packet.

“Well good to see you still have strong morals even when working with me. So, I have rehearsals with my band every Friday night, and Saturday and Sunday afternoons. but anytime besides that I’m free.”

I groaned internally.

“Well, I have leadership meetings every Monday and Thursday after school. So I guess that leaves most of the weekdays.” She nodded.

“How about on Wednesday after school?” She suggested. I nodded, surprised she was the one who initiated a time. She gave me a cool smile. “Fantastic. See you then, lover boy.” She whispered the last two words in my ear, which I couldn’t lie, made me tingle at the close proximity.

She walked away with a smirk and this time, I refused to check her out.

I had morals.

❀ ❀ ❀

“Wednesday. 6pm. The Red Lobster across from that Subway.” My best friend, Kyungmi stated. Changbin was attached to her by the hip.

I sighed and shook my head. I had already forgotten about their plans to set me up with random girls. “Already got plans that day.”

Kyungmi gave me a suspicious stare. “What plans?”

“Plans to whack off?” I glared at Changbin who was giggling at his joke which wasn’t even funny. Kyungmi smiled, but hit the boy. I never knew she was such a perv.

“No. I have this project I have to do with y/n and Wednesday is one of the only days we have free this week. And the project is already due in 2 weeks so...”

“Y/N? She’s the annoying bitch, right?” Kyungmi pinched his arm.

“Hey, don’t call her that... She’s just annoying and emo.” The two laughed.

“Yes, that y/n. But I mean, I have no choice. We have to work together.” I argued. I unwrapped my ham and cheese sandwich and bit into it.

Kyungmi shook her head. “No, I mean, you could just write it and slap her name on it too.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, nerd.” Changbin poked my side which made me want to slap him in the face.

“I already told her I wouldn’t do that. So, sorry, but you’ll have to reschedule or just cancel.” Kyungmi and Changbin sighed unanimously.

Changbin then pulled out his phone and started to type something in. “Maybe you would change your mind when you see the girl.”

I furrowed my brows in interest. As the egotistical boy stuck his phone in my face, my eyes widened.

“Is that Yeji?”

Kyungmi smirked, knowing she had gotten me. “Yup, Changbin’s friend is friends with her and heard she wanted to start dating so she would have a date to prom. And luckily, Changbin had overheard their conversation.”

My head spun with excitement. “And I know you’re sorta into her. I’ve seen you look at her in the halls.” Kyungmi squealed giddly.

“So you in?”

I took a sip of my juice and my eyes fell on Y/N who had walked into the cafeteria. She raised a brow at me when she saw my stare. What, she mouthed. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m in.”

❀ ❀ ❀

It was 5:30pm and my date with Yeji was in 30 minutes

It took lots of convincing with y/n to cancel. After I lied to her that my mom was sick and I had to take care of her, she finally let it go. I felt bad for lying, but her being busy on every day of the weekend caused this.

Thankfully, the girl said she could push back her Saturday practice to night time and we could use the morning-afternoon to write the story.

I threw on my best looking shirt and dark jeans. For some reason, girls liked dark jeans on boys. I looked at my hair and saw the mess. I groaned and started to style it. I felt dumb with the small straightener in my hands, but I had to do what had to be done to look good.

Once I was satisfied, I threw on my fanciest shoes and ran out the door. Yeji was coming from cheer practice and she said she would just meet me at the restaurant. I sped all the way there, hoping to be early.

I looked down at my watch. 5:53pm. I looked around and there was no sign of her.

This was a blind date, so she didn’t know who I was. Changbin just told her I would be waiting under the large Red Lobster sign.

“Seungmin? Is that you?” I spun around after hearing the feminine voice. I gave the girl a shocked look.

“Yeji, oh wow, what a surprise.” I lied lamely. The girl smiled and hugged me. I wasn’t sure if this was a friend hug or a happy hug or what. But I mean, I liked it.

“I’m so glad it’s you! I was so nervous I was going to get a weirdo or something, but I’m glad Changbin set me up with someone as nice as you.” Nice. What a word. A word for friend-zoning.

I smiled forcefully at her. “Let’s get inside so we don’t freeze our asses off.” She laughed loudly at me joke, probably more exaggerate since it wasn’t that funny. That boosted my ego slightly.

“Table for 2.” I said to one of the staff. The girl nodded and led us to a table. I was glad it wasn’t extremely crowded on a Wednesday night.

“Thank you,” Yeji said to the staff. I nodded in thanks as the waitress walked away.

“So, getting into the dating scene are we, Kim Seungmin?” Yeji teased. I blushed, but grinned at her curious glance.

“Yeah, after Kyungmi and Changbin spent so much time together, I realized I was either sick of seeing them together or wanted to have a relationship like theirs.” Yeji cooed at my words.

“Aw, that’s so cute! They’re really a cute couple, aren’t they?” I nodded.

“Hi guys, are you guys ready to order?” We both nodded.

Once I looked up from my menu, I saw someone I hadn’t planned on seeing here tonight.

I could spot that dark, yet wild hair from anywhere. Her black and purple hair was tied into a ponytail and she looked calm as she sat across from a boy much older than her, Chan, who I remembered was her brother.

She looked like she was finishing up her meal as she stood up from her booth. As soon as she stood up, her eyes met mine.

Fuck. I was in deep shit now.

Expecting her to call me out on my bullshit, I held my breath.

Contrary to what I believed, the girl only looked at me with fed up eyes and walked away with her brother. I couldn’t help but feel like shit.

“Seungmin?” Yeji’s voice snapped me out of my trance.

I glanced up at the waitress who was waiting for me to order. Great, now I look like a weirdo.

“Sorry, um, I’ll get the steak and lobster.”

I forced myself to carry a conversation with Yeji, but all I could think about was why y/n didn’t stomp her way to my table while I obviously was on a date.

Maybe she’s different than what everyone thinks about her.

I shook my head, no, that girl is bad news.

❀ ❀ ❀

I had done a great job at avoiding y/n all week. It was helpful she wasn’t here Friday either.

But it was Saturday now and I worse knowing that she pushed back her scheduled practice with her band when we had scheduled a time I should’ve been free for.

I was dressed more casually today with blue jeans and a red hoodie. I wasn’t impressing anyone today.

I drove to y/n’s house, scared of how she would react when I saw her again. Her house wasn’t far from mine. I held my breath as I walked to the front step.

Her house looked more normal than I thought it would. For some reason, I thought it would be dark and gloomy like how she dressed, but it was a light brown with flowers all around it.

“Are you going to just stand there or are you going to ring the doorbell?”

The voice startled me as I jumped back.

Y/N was staring at me with judgmental eyes. I noticed the leash in her hand and then felt a small dog jump on my leg. I smiled, forgetting the scary girl right next to me, and pet the happy thing.

“Aw, aren’t you the cutest?” I cooed. Y/N scoffed and unlocked her front door.

“You’re early. Probably to make up for cancelling on Wednesday for some girl?” She taunted. I turned a dark red at her accusation, even though it was true.

“Ok, I’m sorry-”

“For what Seungmin? Getting caught or for lying? Or for causing me to push back my already scheduled plans for your impromptu dates? Hm?”

I felt a rush of anger run through me even though I had no right to be mad.

“Why are you acting as if we’re dating? We’re not even friends. I have no loyalties to you.”

I wanted to take back the words as soon as I said them. Y/N’s jaw dropped.

“Wow, you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought. We made plans and if you were a decent human being, you would keep them. We could be arch enemies but you still had a commitment, especially since we don’t have many free days.” She spat. I had nothing to say and took her words in.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I didn’t mean to say that. And I’m sorry for cancelling plans, but I just really like Yeji so I just had to take the chance. I’m sorry.”

Y/N stood in silence for a few moments before taking a step back.

“Maybe if you let me play at prom I would be more forgiving.”

I rolled my eyes. “I-”

“I’m teasing. I don’t want to hold this over your head since Yeji is hot. A shitty person, but hot.”

Y/N opened the door for me to let me in, but her words didn’t go over my head. I quietly shut the door and examined her house that I knew she was secretive about. It looked... peaceful. Normal.

“What? Yeji is not a shitty person.” Y/n smiled at me.

“Oh really? Are the things she says about me nice?” I had nothing to say to that.

“She’s only saying what’s true.” Y/N stopped walking and glared at me.

“What? That I skip class? Big whoop, everyone does that. She makes huge accusations about me when I only characterize her because of the things she says about me and the way she looks at me and the way she talks to me.”

Before I could get a word out, the girl shoved me into her room.

“Now, that’s a good story idea. We could write about a bitchy cheerleader and how she sabotages people��s lives so that she looks good.” The girl suggested. I rolled my eyes.

“Or, we could write about not that.” I tugged the packet out of her hands and stared at the prompts. “Write about a boy who finds a time machine and travels through all of his best/worst memories.”

“Lame. I hate time travel stories. They confuse and bore me simultaneously.” I sighed and looked at more prompts.

The girl sat in her spinny chair and spun around like a child. I couldn’t help but scan her. She was wearing shorts, probably because she only left the house to walk her dog. Even when being at home, her clothes were still all black. She was wearing a black over the shoulder t-shirt with black shorts.

It felt weird to notice this, but her nails were painted black as well. Both her fingernails and toenails were the same color which Kyungmi told me girls liked to do.

“Wow, checking me out even when you have another girl in your heart? Hm, I didn’t know you were such a bad boy, Seungmin.”

I felt my heart skip, noticing how she said my name when she usually called me “mister president”.

I blushed at her words and looked away quickly. “S-sorry, um, I was just curious as to why you wear black clothes all the time.” The girl laughed softly and twisted her hair over her shoulder.

I tried not to read into her movements but girls playing with their hair always meant something. At least according to web articles.

“Well, I wear black clothes because I like the color. You wear blue a lot, probably because blue is your favorite color right?” I nodded slowly, but surprised she noticed the clothes I wore.

I felt proud of myself for some reason, my felt my heart warm as she paid attention to the small details of me.

“Uh, I guess. Anyways, any more story ideas? Maybe a character you would wanna write about?” The girl crinkled her nose and swiped her side bangs out of her face. She scooted closer to me and suddenly, my male hormones were heightened.

She smelled fruity, but her scent wasn’t that heavy that I was choking. Her hair matched the fruit theme of her perfume and I couldn’t help but get lost in it. I hated myself at this moment.

I hadn’t been so close to a girl who wasn’t a friend in so long.

"You’re wearing perfume.” I noted lamely as she was taking a while to think. She looked up me in surprise and smiled. It was different than her usual smiles, but they always made my heart flutter.

Stop, you like Yeji, stop letting your hormones take over you like some basic asshole.

“Hm, yeah I am. I wear it whenever I go out or whenever I have guests over. I’m surprised you noticed.” She wiggled her brows and opened a word document on her laptop. “Is there any genre you prefer writing?”

I snapped out of the girl’s charm and looked at the laptop. “Yeah, yeah, I like to write fantasy I guess.” Y/N smiled.

“Good. We’re on the same page then. Do you like supernatural themes like ghosts, fae, vampires, werewolves...?” She babbled on. I wasn’t that surprised y/n was that into this stuff since she was quite weird. I guess that made me weird too when I was excited.

“All of the above.”

“And before we get ahead of our selves, let’s remind us that the expected page count is 10 and we only have 2 weeks to write this.” The girl noted smartly. I nodded and adjusted my glasses as she leaned over me to grab her pencil. “Sorry, I like to plan on paper.”

I watched as she grabbed a piece of paper and started drawing circles. I let out a chuckle before I could stop myself. She glanced up at me with rough eyes.

“What?”

I shrugged. “Nothing. Just you planning things out is cute.” She froze at my words, and even I was surprised at my confidence.

“Shut up,” she said, but I knew there was a faint blush on her cheeks.

Huh, maybe this flirting thing isn’t so hard after all.

❀ ❀ ❀

After discussing for a long 30 minutes, we had finally decided on a basic plot and characters.

“After being assigned a dangerous mission, Yoon Sehun’s life starts to crumble. He is tasked with the mission to infiltrate a high school and seduce and kill an innocent girl who is holding secrets of her own. Is that a good summary for Mrs. Park?” I nodded at the girl who looked much happier at writing than I did.

She smiled happily and kept going. “And basically, he starts to fall in love with her seriously... do we want a happy ending or sad?”

I fiddled with my glasses, a habit I had when I was thinking. “Um, which do you prefer?” The girl groaned.

“Making me do all the hard work. Ugh, well, I like to read happy endings more, but with the short time limit we have and page limit of 15, I’d say we just leave it off on a cliffhanger.”

I agreed. “You right. Now, let’s get it started.”

❀ ❀ ❀

We had been typing for hours, constantly asking one another if writing something was ok. We switched off every 30 minutes to write which made the flow hard, but we agreed we would edit it in the end. I was surprised to see how good of a writer she was.

And I was more surprised on how well we were getting along.

“Wow, this is looking really good. You’re a really good writer.” I complimented. Y/N was laying on her bed, scrolling through her phone as I scanned over her work.

I heard her snort. “Well, I do write songs on the daily. I am in a band you know.”

“Ah, right.”

“Talking about my band, any new thoughts about us performing at prom?” I sighed, but said nothing for a few moments, trying to decide on what to do.

I settled with a question. “Why do you want to perform at prom so badly? No offense, but you don’t seem that connected to this school.”

I heard the bed rustle and I knew she was walking over to me. Her hair was messy and I tried not to imagine if I was laying next to her on that bed.

Her face was serious as she sat next to me.

“First things first, we go to a rich school that has major connections. If my band performs there and some rich kids likes it and has connections to the music scene, it could be big for my band. Second, I really love performing, as do my band mates. And third, rich kids with connections.”

I chuckled at her honesty.

“Ok, how about I let you perform a few songs-”

I saw her eyes light up.

“Wait, seriously, you would let me perform?!” Her voice was laced with excitement and shock that I couldn’t help but smile.

“Um, yeah, you put up a good argument and-” She didn’t wait for me to finish before pulling me in for a hug. It felt weird since I was sitting down and she was standing up. She felt the same and pulled me up to stand. I laughed as she pulled me in for a proper hug when we were standing.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” She cheered. “You’re the best, Seungmin.” She then released me and sat down.

“Speaking of prom, are you thinking of asking anyone?” She looked at me with curiosity in her eyes.

I took a while to answer, but before I could, I heard her phone alarm go off.

“Shit, that means my band mates are coming over real soon. Um, we can finish on Wednesday, of course, if you aren’t busy?” I rolled my eyes even though I still felt guilty. It wasn’t like me to cancel on people for a date.

“Sure. After school Wednesday and if I cancel, you can whip my ass.”

“And what a fine ass it is.” She teased with a hint of flirtiness in her tone.

I choked from shock. “Wha-”

“Bye, Seungmin. See you Wednesday.”

She closed the door on me as I was left in the cold to think about what just happened and why the girl I had thought was annoying was super attractive all of a sudden.

❀ ❀ ❀

“Hey, Seungmin.” I gave a small nod to Yeji who I surprisingly didn’t think about to much over the weekend.

“Hey, how was your weekend?” I asked respectfully. Kyungmi told me that girls always liked to be asked on how their day was. It showed like the boy cared.

She smiled and curled a strand of hair behind her ear. “It was good! I got lots of cleaning done, ugh, my room was an absolute mess. How about you? How was working with y/n?”

I didn’t miss her nose crinkle as she said y/n’s name. I felt a burn of anger run through me as she did that.

“Hey, y/n isn’t that bad as I thought. She was actually really helpful.” I defended. I didn’t know why I was defending a girl to the girl I was interested in, but the words left my mouth as soon as I said them.

Yeji looked guilty. “I-I didn’t mean anything bad, I thought we were on the same page about her.” Now I felt guilty. I had a soft spot for blubbering girls.

“Hey, I get it, but surprisingly I didn’t go mad with her around.” Yeji nodded and looked to Hyunjin.

She leaned close to me. I felt my nerves come alive as I felt her hair tickle my neck. “Just between us, Hyunjin is good-looking and all, but he sucks at writing. He couldn’t decide on characters and a plot. We had a rough time. I’d rather have you as a partner.”

As she pulled away, I noticed how she was biting her lip slightly which tugged at my heart. Her smell was much stronger than y/n’s though, which forced me to hold down a cough. I wasn’t fond of floral smells which Yeji reeked of.

The door opened once again which caught my attention.

The familiar girl walked in with a sway in her steps. I felt my breathing stop as she locked eyes with me. She gave me one of her infamous smiles and sat down.

“You two seem friendly.” Yeji whispered.

“Oh no, no, it’s not like that.” I defended. Now I knew how girls felt when they were accused of dating someone.

“Not like what?” Yeji teased. I realized then that she said nothing about a romantic relationship. I’d just assumed it. I blushed as she squeezed my hand.

“You’re cute.”

❀ ❀ ❀

It was a normal Monday night that I was spending with Kyungmi and Changbin. I swear the two lived together at this point.

“So, spill about your date with Yeji! You’ve been holding out on us for way too long!” Kyungmi cried out. Changbin and I were immersed into the video game were playing, but Kyungmi paused it.

“Hey, we were-” Changbin was cut off by Kyungmi’s glare. “Yeah, Seungmin, how was your date?”

The boy was whipped.

I sunk back to the couch and tried to remember the events. My mind wasn’t in the moment on the date. I kept feeling guilty about ditching y/n.

“Um, it was good.” I settled on saying.

The two narrowed their eyes at me.

“Good? That’s it?” Kyungmi interrogated.

I shrugged her off as she got too close to me. “Yes, good, she’s pretty and nice and sometimes funny.”

“Dude.” Changbin added.

“What?”

“Good isn’t the way you’re supposed to describe a date. Did you even feel a connection with her?” Kyungmi asked.

I shrugged. “I mean, yeah, I guess? It wasn’t awkward. And she seemed to be flirting with me today so I would take this as a good sign.”

Kyungmi then hit me with a pillow. “Ow, what the fu-”

“Do you like, not like her anymore? What’s the deal with you?” Kyungmi babbled. I was confused. I had said I had a good time with her, I didn’t understand the problem.

“Ok, honestly, I was sort of out of it on the date. I saw y/n there and she saw me and I felt bad about cancelling and lying to her about why I cancelled.” I confessed.

I thought the two would show signs of disgust of the girl, but the two simply just looked at each other. I hated when they did that.

“What?” I barked. Changbin held up his hands in surrender.

“Well, I’m going to just say it, I didn’t think y/n was your type.” Kyungmi hit his shoulder to shut him up, but the damage was already done.

“What do you mean by that?” I tried to think back on past girlfriends I had which never lasted long because they realized I was “better as a friend”, but they weren’t that different.

“Changbin, stop it.”

The boy shrugged and kept spilling. “What? It’s true. The girls you’ve dated before are like... nice. And social. Y/N is... not those things.”

I felt something burn in my chest. I wasn’t sure what it was but I recognized part of it was anger.

“Don’t be an asshole, Changbin. I’m not even into y/n anyways.”

Kyungmi sighed and sat next to me. She patted my head like she always did and spoke softly. “Just, be careful not to get hurt. And try not to hurt anyone in the process.”

“What do you mean? Y/N doesn’t even like me. She thinks of me as a friend.”

I felt my phone vibrate and I peered down at it.

‘Hey Seungmin, I am highkey bored in my room on a Monday night with millions of story ideas running through my mind. is it ok if i add to our story and edit it?? u can change it wednesday if u dont like it but i felt the need to ask u first’

“If that’s from y/n, I’m going to scream.”

I glared at Changbin. “Well it is and don’t fucking scream or else I’m leaving.” Changbin and Kyungmi both attacked me for my phone.

Changbin started laughing and tossed me my phone back.

“Dude, she totally likes you. She’s trying to start a conversation with you.”

“She literally just asked me about our essay, how the hell is that a sign at all?” I spat.

I texted the girl back.

‘yeah sure youre a great writer anyways’

Soon, she was typing back.

‘yay thanks~ for both complimenting me and letting me write lol’

“What did she say?”

“None of your fucking business.”

Y/N couldn’t like me... there was no way. She knows I’m into Yeji.. right?

❀ ❀ ❀

Wednesday came soon enough and I was instead in a library with y/n. She had snagged our own private room for a couple hours and we were currently adding and editing to our story.

She came in wearing a red shirt and I was shocked at the change. I hated that I noticed it. And that I liked it.

“You’re wearing color.” I said before I could stop myself.

Y/N looked down at her outfit and shrugged. “What? I can’t wear color now?” She crossed her arms in that defensive way girls did.

“I just mean you look good.” She raised her brows.

“Well, you should’ve started with that.”

The girl sat down and I tried not to check out how good her legs looked in her black skinny jeans.

“Anyways, thank you for letting my band perform at prom. It means a lot to us.” She thanked while getting out her things. I noticed how her black nail polish had changed to dark purple. I wondered if she redid her toes as well.

I gulped and stopped thinking about her so much. “Uh, no problem. I hope you won’t let me regret it.” She laughed.

“No sir. Anyways, are you going with anyone to prom? Mister president has to have girls lined up at his door, right?” She teased but I could tell there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

I laughed and felt nervous at her question. “Uh, if I’m being honest with you, there aren’t many girls lining up at my door.”

She looked surprised at my comment. “Really? I find that surprising.”

I shrugged. “I get friend-zoned by most girls. When I say most, I mean all.” I said spitefully. I heard y/n sigh and blow out a large amount of air.

“What?”

The girl shrugged. “Nothing, it’s just so, so, annoying when boys say that.” I furrowed my eyebrows at her statement.

“It’s annoying when girls do that.”

She gasped at my statement. She stared at me with her jaw dropped and judgmental eyes. “Oh wow, I didn’t know girls had to fall for you if a boy becomes their friend or if a boy shows interest in them. Excuse me for that.”

I rolled my eyes at her, but the more I talked about it, the dumber I sounded. “Ok, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just... frustrating when all the girls I like end up only thinking of me as a friend. And I know that they don’t have to like me, but after so many, it just bums me out I guess.”

“That’s understandable, but also, how are you so sure that those girls only thought of you as a friend? Did you ask them?”

I furrowed my brows. “Uh no, I can just tell.” Y/N gave me a tight smile like she was holding back.

“Wow. Amazing that you have that talent.” I scowled at her.

“Ok, well, sometimes I get signs a girl doesn’t like me and then I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Plus, girls always fawn over the bad boys which I’m not. I’m just a nerdy nice dude with some attitude.”

The girl sitting next to me said nothing, which made me nervous.

“Not all girls like bad boys.” She noted. I licked my lips while she scooted closer to me. “Bad girls don’t like bad boys. That’s too much bad for one relationship.”

“Then what do bad girls like?” The question slipped from my lips before I couldn’t stop myself, but I didn’t regret my question.

The girl lifted an eyebrow and lightly flicked her tongue over her teeth.

“Hm, bad girls like good boys.”

Suddenly, the atmosphere in this tiny, private room changed.

I tried not to focus on the way her hand rested on my thigh. I tried not to focus on her lips that had a sheer coating of lip gloss across them. I tried so hard but I failed as she pulled me closer to her.

“Want a sign? I’ll give you one.”

Before I could process what was happening, she kissed me.

Her lips hovered above mine for a split movement before she kissed my bottom lip slowly. I felt my heart pounding out of my chest. I felt more alive than I’ve ever felt before.

I didn’t know when she got on my lap, but I felt a jolt when she get comfy.

She ran her fingers through my hair as I tried not to let out any noise. I gained courage and deepened the kiss which made her sign in content.

Oh fuck.

I gripped her waist to keep her from falling. She took off my glasses and rested them on the table.

“So, right now, you have the option whether to keep kissing me or to finish this essay. Which do you prefer?” My head was spinning. All I could feel were her legs on mine and her hands in my hair. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss her, not some stupid essay for English.

“Kissing you.”

She chuckled.

“Good choice.” She whispered before taking me lips again.

❀ ❀ ❀

I slammed my door shut, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Did I just make out with y/n for... god knows how long. Did I just do that? What even happened? We were just talking about how bitchy I was and then she did that. How did that even escalate? What am I doing? Was this just a one time thing or does she like me? Do I like her?

I took a deep breath and laid on my bed.

What about Yeji? Am I still into her? Was I ever really that into her? I didn’t even know her.

I slapped myself. “You shit, stop thinking about this.”

I tried not to fantasize about how much further we could’ve gone if our time wasn’t up in that tiny room but that’s all I could think about.

“Fuck, Changbin was right. She’s into me.”

❀ ❀ ❀

The essay was due on Monday and luckily, y/n had written enough that we didn’t need to meet up again. I decided to write the ending then edit, and then she edited it.

I hadn’t talking to y/n much since Wednesday and my lips burned every time we made eye contact.

Y/N was right. I had never gone after girls who were adamant about what they wanted and it excited and scared me at the same time.

“Hey, stranger.”

I jumped up, forgetting I was in a public place.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Yeji said with a small smile. I shook my head and gave her a forced grin.

“No, no, it’s okay. Um, how did your story turn out?” I asked.

Yeji’s eyes zoned out for a few moments before focusing on mine. “Um, the story was okay, but things with Hyunjin? Way better.”

I raised my brows in surprise. Not just from surprise at her infatuation with the boy, but surprise I didn’t care that much.

“Oh? Do tell.” I teased. Yeji fidddled with her thumbs nervously.

“Ok, ok, so, we were just working on the essay and then he just asks me to prom. It was kinda cute ‘cause he stuttered over his words, but still cute nonetheless. So, yeah!” She grinned widely with hearts in her eyes.

I smiled back at her. “That’s awesome, Yeji. You two are cute together.”

She nodded, barely hearing what I was saying when Hyunjin walked in the room. Hyunjin gave her a nod in acknowledgment, but he didn’t say anything.

He was just those types of guys.

❀ ❀ ❀

Prom night.

The biggest event of the year.

The time of year when mainly juniors and seniors lost themselves in one big crowd and the night when everyone lost their virginity. It was a mess honestly, but it was a mess that we all experienced together. With it being my senior year, prom held a deeper meaning for me this time.

Since I was a senior this year, I wasn’t required to come early, but I did so anyways.

“Hey mister president, here so early? Don’t you have some pictures to take at a lake or something?”

I turned and saw Y/N. She was wearing a dark black dress that hugged her in all the right places. Her hair was curled and more voluminous than usual. I couldn’t help but notice she put on a stronger amount of perfume.

I grinned at her teasing words, but shook my head.

“Nope, I came to set up. As the president should do.”

She frowned faintly. “Aw, you should be having fun. I’m only here early to help my band set up.”

I had almost forgot her band was performing two songs tonight. I had never heard them play and prayed they were good.

“Hey, um, you’ll watch my performance right?”

I snapped out of my trance and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and hopeful as she gave me her best puppy-eyed look.

I smiled at her as she jut out her bottom lip. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it since you worked so hard to play.”

She laughed wildly and held my arm in that flirty way. I started to wonder what she wanted us to be. Were we just friends who made out with each other sometimes or enemies who made out with each other or did she actually want an actual relationship?

Girls are so confusing.

Suddenly, we both heard someone call her name.

“Um, I gotta go set up now. See you soon?” She said hopefully. I nodded and gently sent her off.

❀ ❀ ❀

It was 9pm which was the official time prom started. The music was blaring as the band hadn’t gotten on stage yet and someone brought streamers of their own, which coated the dance floor.

Kyungmi and Changbin were somewhere dirty dancing and on the verge of being kicked out while I hung in the bigger crowd.

Kids were kicking their shoes off and soon there was a dance contest in the middle of the dance floor. Cheers and hollers erupted through the air as rowdy people flew through the air.

Suddenly, the music was turned down and I saw people come on stage.

I smiled at the beautiful girl standing on stage. She was the only girl in the band which made her shine brighter.

I heard her introduce her band name and the song she was going to be singing, but when I turned my head for a split moment, I saw some girl crying out of the room.

I squinted and saw that the girl was Yeji. Suddenly, we locked eyes. Her eyes were full of desperation and sadness as she turned away.

I looked to my left and saw Hyunjin, dancing with a girl who didn’t look like Yeji. I felt my heart tighten.

Oh no.

“Um, this song is dedicated to a really great friend I made near the end of my senior year. Here’s to change!”

The crowd erupted into cheers but I doubt anyone just heard what Y/N just said since they were all drunk.

I looked back and saw that Yeji was still staring at me with longing in her eyes. Like she was waiting for me to chase after her.

I mean, that was the type of guy I was. The type of guy who left whatever he was doing to help a sad girl. A girl who needed my help.

I looked back at the stage and saw Y/N starting to sing, but when I saw Yeji walk out of the room, I felt something in me snap.

I pushed my way out of the dance floor and went to follow Yeji.

This better be worth it.

The girl was sitting outside on the bench. I sighed and opened the door to the outside. She jolted up, but gave me a weak smile.

“You came.” She said softly.

I felt my knees weak at her words. “Yeah, uh, you looked like you needed a friend.” I heard her sniffle which made me notice the cold air.

I pulled off my jacket and pulled it over her shoulders. “Thank you. For the jacket and for coming out here.” I gave her a small smile, trying not to think about Y/N who most likely saw me run out here. I didn’t know what I was thinking. It was in my nature to chase after crying girls. Y/N would understand.

“Hyunjin he, he-” She was cut off by her small sobs. “He left me for some other girl. He was openly grinding on her and I couldn’t do anything. I hate him.” She spat. I held her close to me and let her lay her head on my shoulder.

“It’s okay, let it out.”

We sat there for a while, with her just calming her breathing and I was just trying to be a good friend.

Inside, the music was dying down and I knew the band had stopped playing. I felt like shit knowing I had just missed a song dedicated to me and that I didn’t keep my promise. But I had known Yeji longer, I was her friend. I had a commitment to her.

❀ ❀ ❀

My night seemed like it went by too quickly.

Yeji’s parents came and picked her up. She tried not to look too embarrassed as her parents greeted me fondly and reprimanded her for going out with Hyunjin and not me.

Soon, I saw more and more students flow out of the school. The students always had to evacuate quickly since the staff didn’t want to waste their whole night cleaning up our mess.

I searched the crowd for a sign of Y/N, but I didn’t see her ‘til the very end.

Her hair was messy from performing and the sweat glowed in the moonlight. She looked stunning even when she was dead tired.

She turned my way, and once I smiled, she looked away.

Wait, what was that?

I ran after her. “Y/N, wait-”

She whipped her hair around, with tears filling her eyes.

“Are you serious? You have the fucking nerve to come after me right now? You must be stupid.” I ignored her harsh words and took a deep breath.

“Y/N, please, I’m sorry, I really am. But Yeji was crying and Hyunjin left her, I couldn’t just leave her alone. I’m her friend, you know-”

“Oh my god, please just stop talking.” She blurt. I was stunned at the amount of anger she had. We weren’t even a couple.

“You know, you complain so fucking much about the bad boys getting all the credit and all the attention and how all girls like bad boys, but you know what? You do get the girls obviously and you’re not even a ‘bad boy’, you’re just mean. You play with girls like it’s nothing and I’m not going to stand here for it. You’ve been into me and Yeji at the same time and I’m not going to stay here and let you choose me or her like we are options in a buffet line.”

I saw a tears fall down her cheek as she adjusted her shoes.

“You know, unlike Yeji, I didn’t wait for a bad boy to break up with me before I went for the nice guy. I always wanted the nice guy.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until she walked away, leaving me with all my emotions.

She shrugged in that fake nonchalant way and gave me a tight smile with tears dancing in her eyes.

“Goodbye, Seungmin. I hope you treat the next girl right.”

#stray kids #straykidznet #sk-writersnet #stray kids scenarios #kim seungmin #seungmin scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #kim seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin imagines #seungmin imagines #seungmin imagine #HOLY SHIT ITS BEEN A WHILE #if u read until here #i love u and thank u for reading lololol

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hazstylesaf · 6 years ago

Text

let the sun fade out (h.s.)

2.7k words, angsty-ish (smut and alcohol mentions)

You never say what you really mean. But neither does he. You both just keep playing the game with each others’ hearts.

“Tell me why.” He whispered.

“You know why.” They were frozen. Two bodies molded together holding on to one another like a lifeline. All she wanted was to drown with him, fall into his arms and let the world fall away.

Bullshit. Absolute and utter bullshit. How could he look this good? Her eyes followed him as he entered the house, massive smile greeting, long arms waving, the perfect gentleman. His hair was longer than she remembered and maybe she could see just a little bit of stubble, but she would need to get closer to be able to tell. Not that she would get any closer, no she would keep her distance. She had to if she was going to maintain her sanity. His eyes flashed toward her for a second, a smirk and a wink, and then he turned away. Fuck him. She downed the rest of her drink and went in search of another. He wasn’t supposed to be here. In fact, she’d been assured he wouldn’t. “He’s on the other side of the world right now. Why the hell would he show up?” But he had. He flew a red eye to get here and had just gotten off the plane about an hour ago. And now her cheeks were flushed and her heart pounded so loud she felt it in the back of her skull. She heard his laugh down the hall, aware that he was making his way toward the bar. She grabbed her drink and sped to the opposite direction of the tall Brit that threatened to turn her legs to jelly and bruise her skin. The only way she was going to survive the night was if she completely avoided him. She found a corner of the home that was seemingly uninhabited and nursed her cocktail. God, she wanted to fucking drink until she was floating and totally unaware, but knew she needed her inhibitions tonight. She stared down her glass, suddenly the ice cubes seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world. She should just leave, forget the whole night, tell her friends she wasn't feeling well, and go home and drown her sorrows in television and bad habits.

He watched her swirl her glass, her bottom lip being worried by her teeth. Did she get a haircut? Maybe some highlights? Something was different about her. He couldn't tell, but she looked amazing. Entrancing. She was brilliant. A beacon of light in his world. Yet, she was ignoring him. No, not even ignoring...avoiding. He supposed he deserved it. She had made her feelings clear last time he saw her. The last time he saw her, the sun against her face, laying in an obscenely large bed, sheets are strewn about clumsily and her lips on his. He could still smell the fresh flowers he had sent up to the room ahead of himself. The sad smile she gave him when he came into the suite. He had dropped his arms to reach for her. She stopped him. “This is the last time, Harry.” She had said. If this were to be the last time he could have her, he'd make it count. When he had reached for her in the morning, she was gone, only the sweet scent of her perfume lingered on the pillow. How many months had passed? How many texts had he never sent? How many times did he think he caught a whiff of her perfume and looked desperately for her? Did she ever stand in a crowd searching for him? He was standing in front of her now. How had his legs carried him to her? “I'm not quite sure why you've been avoiding me all night?” She looked up at him, startled. Her soft features hardened and her eyes instantly clouded.

“Fuck off.” She made a move to step away from him, his hand immediately wrapped around her wrist.

“Don't be like this.” He whispered into her ear. She tried desperately to ignore the feeling of his lips so close to her skin. His breath tickling her earlobe. The memories of his lips discovering and worshipping every inch of her body. She tore her wrist from him.

“Fuck. Off.” She seethed and finally pushed passed him. She kept a steady pace until she reached the top of the stairs and ran to the closest bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and set her drink on the edge of the tub. Her hands gripped the edge of the sink as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She hadn't realized she was shaking. Fuck him. Fuck him for making me feel this way. Fuck him and his fucking hands. His deft fingers around her wrist, her mind racing back to the times he held her wrists above her head, ordering her not to move, or behind her back as he moaned about how perfect she felt. Her cheeks were beyond rosy and were burning as if she were having an allergic reaction. She turned on the cold water tap and wet her hands to cool off her face. She quite honestly needed a cold shower. How did she let herself get so flustered by this guy? Because that's all he was: some dude. Right? There are plenty of others. Others that will treat her the way she deserved. That called her and asked her how her day was instead of asking if she could fly to wherever for a weekend of insurmountable pleasure: Jamaica, the Bahamas, Stockholm, Osaka, Toronto, Paris – she'd lost count of the places. She never actually saw them, not unless you count the always gorgeous view from the hotel suite. But none of that mattered anymore. She'd made up her mind. She wasn't going to fall for it again. A knock at the door pulled her from her memories of silk sheets and strong hands and she gave her reflection one last stern look. Stand your ground. She grabbed her drink and opened the door, only to be pushed back into the bathroom by the object of her desire and disdain. “What the hell?” She gasped. He slammed the door behind him.

“I think I can say the same thing.” He scoffed and ran a ringed hand through his hair. It was definitely longer now.

“No. You don't get to say anything to me. I'm done talking to you.” Her voice was strong and resolute, the complete opposite of how she felt.

“Bullshit.” He practically spat the word. His eyes flashed in anger. “You don't get to decide that.”

“The hell I do!” She shouted. She stopped herself and lowered her voice. “There's nothing left to be said.” She shook her head and tried to ignore the burn in her throat that threatened tears. She wasn't going to cry. At least not in front of him.

“That's a load of shit! You don't get to end a relationship like that and say there's nothing left to say!” He tugged at his hair again.

Fucking for two days straight and then not talking for a month isn’t a relationship last time she checked. “Relationship? What relationship!” She threw her hands up, her drink splashing against the glass and spilling slightly. His eyes followed her hand and then the droplets of alcohol that fell to the floor. He stepped toward her and softly took the cup from her hand and set it on the sink ledge. “I wasn't done with that.” She murmured.

“And I'm not done with you.” His hands were caressing her cheeks and his lips crashed onto hers. In a second, her hands tangled into his curls and her lips submitted to his, legs quivering. Her head was swimming with him. His scent. The way his tongue did that just right. The feeling of his strong hands on her face, knowing how good those hands felt elsewhere. Her body betrayed her mind and all she wanted was him fully and completely. She stopped herself and pulled away from him.

“We can’t.” She said, both their eyes still closed, her lips grazing his as she talked. He kissed her again.

“Why?” His lips moved down her jaw and she knew that he was zeroing in on the sensitive spot right below her ear.

“Harry.” She warned. They would take this too far. Why couldn’t she pull away from him? Take a step back, push him off, run away, but all she could manage was a weak, “Harry, stop.” He did but didn’t pull away.

“Tell me why.” He whispered.

“You know why.” They were frozen. Two bodies molded together holding on to one another like a lifeline. All she wanted was to drown with him, fall into his arms and let the world fall away. His powerful hands that held onto her at night and made her back arch in the day, moved from her cheeks down the back of her neck.

“Just tell me why.” He took her face in his hands again and forced her to look at him. His eyes the same green that'd she'd fallen in love with. Wasn't that why? She was an idiot in love. In love with someone who never will, never can, love her back. At least not in the way she needed. He could never be fully hers and she couldn’t share him. His time, his mind was always somewhere else. So many other people needed or wanted things from him. And he spent all of his energy trying to please someone and she couldn’t ask him to add her to that ever-growing list. She wasn’t important enough to ask for his time, his love. And she could never tell him that. She couldn't embarrass herself like that. She shook her head and he let go of her face. And walked out of the bathroom and out of her life. Her chest hurt and her eyes burned, and she knew the wall that she had built up was crumbling. She pulled out her phone and quickly texted her friend and ordered an Uber, trying desperately to blink away the tears that blurred her vision. The faces and sparkling dresses were all a blur as she ran through the house and outside. She exhaled a shaky breath and finally allowed herself to cry, harder than she’d ever cried before. Sobs wracked through her body, but she kept walking down the long winding LA driveway. Some hopeless romantic part of her half expected him to come running down the driveway after her and profess his undying love, but she knew that life wasn’t a romantic comedy. And even if it was, she wasn’t the girl who got the boy. She laughed to herself bitterly and the tears slowed as she saw a car pulling up that she prayed desperately was her Uber. Quickly she wiped her face even though she knew it wouldn’t do much to fix the mess. She stepped cautiously forward to try and get a better look at the car, only to realize it wasn’t her ride. The car slowed and her heartbeat sped up. Of course… she’s alone in the dark, crying and completely vulnerable. The window rolled down and she took a step back. “Get in.” And she stopped at the familiar voice. “I’m not going to let you stand out here in the dark.” Harry said.

She rolled her eyes and sniffed, attempting to hide the fact that she had been crying. “No. I don’t want anything from you.” She started to walk away.

“Goddamnit!” He exclaimed as he hit the steering wheel with his palm, and she stopped again. She’d never heard him this angry. It made her stomach twist.

“What!” She yelled back, unsure of where it came from. She hadn’t meant to yell, had she? But now it felt right. She wanted to scream at him until her throat was raw, pound her fists into his chest and make him hurt.

“Just get in the fucking car and let me drive you home!”

“I said no!”

“God you are a fucking child!” And maybe he was right because she almost had the urge to stomp her foot. She decided instead to turn the opposite way and walk away from him. Why couldn’t he just let her go? She was doing this for him, saving him from the inevitable pain that would come with her and he was making it so damn difficult. He turned off his car and got out, slamming the door behind him. She heard his footsteps behind her but kept walking.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone!” She shouted and suddenly his strong grip was on her arm and turning her around to face him.

“Because I fucking care about you!”

“Well stop!” He let go of her and a humorless laugh fell from his perfect pink lips.

“I wish I could.” He muttered too quiet for her to hear.

“What?”

He looked up at her and, maybe she was delusional, but it looked like he had been crying. “Fuck. I wish I could stop caring about you. But I can’t. Look I get it. This,” he gestured around him, “isn’t what you want. It’s too much for you. I can’t be the person you need. And that fuckin’ kills me. You don’t want me in your life, fine. But I can never… never stop caring about you.” She looked at him. And suddenly she realized she wasn’t saving him from anything. She had already hurt him, and her heart felt like lead. “Can you please just get in the car?” He whispered, defeated. She walked towards him and watched as his shoulders dropped slightly, the tension he had been holding there dissipating slightly. “Tha--” he started, but she softly grabbed his face and pulled him toward her. His eyes fluttered shut as her lips touched his and he laid his hands on her waist. They had kissed hundreds of times before, but this held so much more. It was a kiss of so many unspoken things between them. A kiss of promise. A kiss of apologies. A kiss of a future.

When she finally pulled away, everything clicked into place. “I’m sorry.” She said.

“For what?”

“I thought…” she stopped and took a deep breath. “I thought that ending things between us was protecting you. Because I didn’t want to hurt you. But clearly, I did anyway. And I guess I wasn’t even protecting you… I was being selfish and trying to protect myself. I fell for you. And I got scared. I love you, Harry. I’m fucking terrified about what that means. But I know I can’t go on the way we are. I want all of you, not just sometimes. Or when it works for you, but always. I’m sorry.” He looked at her. He was silent. Her heart sank even further. This is exactly why she tried to shut him out. She had bared her soul and he had nothing to say. A car pulled up and they both turned to look at it. “That’s my Uber.” They stood frozen for a moment until Harry quickly pulled out his wallet and walked over to the car. He stuck his head in the passenger window.

“Hey, sorry mate. I’m going to go ahead and drive her home. Sorry for the trouble.” He explained and pulled out some cash for the driver. And in a few seconds, they were alone again. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply.

“Harry,” she whispered, and he looked up at her.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And I have no idea how we can make it work. But I do know that I can’t not have you in my life. I need you. I don’t even want to think about a world without you.”

“We can try.” She grabbed his hands. “I think that’s all we can do, is try. If you’re willing.” He pulled his hands from hers and gripped her waist and pulled her close. She looked up to see his smiling face. She couldn’t help but smile back at him. Maybe this would work, maybe it wouldn’t. They could burn bright or scorch one another’s heart. But it was worth the risk. And he kissed her and none of the fears they had seemed to matter in that moment. Just the two of them in each other’s arms, taking a leap into the flames.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles angst #idk not really angst though cause i'm not that good at that #but idk fam #writing #mine #lmao im writing again!

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dreamgloe · 6 years ago

Note

vanilla, letters & melt

prompt: vanilla, letters & melt (this prompt list here)

words: 4.56k

warnings: fluff, slightest bit of angst

notes: so this is really late but….better late than never, right? I’ll just keep it in the valentine’s day theme. ;) despite how long this took, i’m so happy to be writing some cute namjoon while writing some angsty namjoon (his chapter in ‘half of my heart’ has put me T H R O U G H I T)

tags: @joonieblossoms

mini playlist: fools by troye sivan | call your girlfriend (robyn cover) by clara mae | sponge by clay best friend by ikon

-x-

There were only two sounds in your apartment. One was the loud crashing noises of the Netflix romcom you’d decided to play with a hard press of your forefinger. Afterwards, you tossed the remote to the floor, not caring where it landed. The second was the scraping of your spoon against the paper carton of Tahitian Vanilla ice cream from your favorite neighborhood spot.

You told yourself that you hated this holiday, that it was a consumerist weapon holding people hostage in the name of love. If anyone asked you, you were boycotting and Galentine’s Day was the only holiday worth celebrating. Celebrating womanhood with your girl friends with copious amounts of sparkling rosé was the only draw to this time of the year.

However, that was a damn lie.

Not only were most of your friends in relationships, you actually loved Valentine’s Day. Well, you did. You loved the idea when you were in a relationship, which you had been in until about a month ago. It wasn’t as if you were certain that Choi Sungwoo was the one for you but you did spent the better part of eight months committed to him, his work functions–which you hated–and to trying your best to not demolish his ass in Overwatch every time you played with him. He was funny when he wasn’t trying to be and he was never ashamed to hold your hand in public. The sex was great, you knew there were no complaints in that department.

But…obviously something wasn’t working for him when he told you that it was over. He admitted that there was someone else. He said that he had feelings for someone at his work and he didn’t want to continue to lead you on if he was interested in someone else. He also said he wanted a chance with this person. He didn’t want any “what ifs.”. You couldn’t hate him for being honest but you hated him on principle anyway.

He wasn’t even a coward, you thought to yourself, stabbing your spoon back into the ice cream. You paused, looking into the carton. It was missing something, and with that thought you walked to grab the chocolate syrup out of the fridge, the kind that hardened on top of ice cream. Flipping the cap and squeezing it all over the ice cream, you only stopped when the top was almost completely covered. Flipping the cap back into place, you didn’t even bother to put it back in the fridge.

You just didn’t care.

It was at that moment that you were glad your roommate, Namjoon, wasn’t back. To be honest, you weren’t even sure what he was doing. You were just happy that he wasn’t home to watch the sad scene of a gross ice cream concoction and some pretty abhorrent Netflix romantic comedies.

He’d also broken up with his girlfriend around five months ago but he’d been dating his girlfriend as long as you’d known him which was a little over two years. If it was a competition, you knew he’d won hands down. You liked her too and were sad for him when she dumped him.

And that was pretty big of you, too, because when you first met Namjoon, you might have had a teensy crush on him. Teensy being an understatement. Who wouldn’t? He was smart, kind, tall, and had one of the best smiles you’d ever seen in your life. But the two of you quickly fell into a friendship, one that you’d rather die than ever mess up.

Knowing he was sad, you did everything you could to cheer him up. Museum dates, pounds and pounds of barbeque. You even went with him to see all those foreign films he liked even though you hated them. You should have better taste, having studied French Literature. You met Namjoon in a Modern French Philosophy class for crying out loud! However, you’d always been a sucker for girl gang movies and romantic comedies. But…you couldn’t bear the crestfallen looks across your roommate’s face so you did your best to cheer him up even if it meant sitting through a handful of painful German films.

At the time, you couldn’t bring yourself to pry into why she broke up with him. He’d tell you if he wanted to. That’s what you told yourself. Namjoon had been busy the last month but he tried desperately to be there for you as well. He watched a handful of dramas and even the latest season of Alexa & Katie with you on Netflix. Two things he hated and he did them for you. For that, you were grateful but it didn’t stop you from shovelling your way through the pint of ice cream in front of you, knowing full well you had two more in the freezer.

Obviously, you couldn’t help but soften at the thought of Namjoon holding your hand and giving you tissues as you cried your eyes out watching fucking Alexa & Katie, a show aimed at middle school girls. He wasn’t the best roommate in the world but he was definitely one of the best friends you have ever been lucky enough to have.

Why did your bout of loneliness have to bubble up on a day that was both the epitome and antithesis of loneliness, though? Couldn’t the universe give you a fucking break? You were still holding the carton of ice cream in your condensation covered hands, spoon in mouth, feet up on the coffee table when Namjoon walked in. You’d been so absorbed in your ice cream that your surprise caused the metal spoon to clack against your teeth harshly, causing you to spasm. “Ow,” you said, more to yourself, “Goddamnit!”

“Oh…hey Y/N,” he said, lugging his messenger bag off his shoulder and then onto the ground as he approached the edge of the couch. You sighed loudly, putting the spoon into the carton and placing the whole thing on the table. “Namjoon….” you said, a hint of whine, “don’t just…er….enter the apartment like that. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“So sorry, Y/N. Next time I won’t exist in my own apartment,” he said sarcastically, crossing his arms while looking at you, not being able to help the small smile that spread across his face.

“Thank you,” you say, “I’d appreciate it.” You said it seriously but you couldn’t help the smile that eventually followed too. You played with the blanket it across your lap, smoothing it out. You didn’t expect him to be home. But honestly, where would he be? Both of you were single on Valentine’s Day. You should have thought of that. It had been months since either of you had been relationships, where would you both be going?

There was a moment before you spoke. “Care to join me?” you said, motioning to the nest of blankets, dvds, snacks, and strangely, more than one Apple TV remote. He heaved a heavy sigh before he kicked his shoes off and said, “If we’re doing this, I’m getting the wine.” After grabbing a bottle of red and two glasses, he finally sat down on the couch with a big plop, getting under the blanket with you. He poured you a glass, handing it to you now that you no longer were holding the tub of ice cream. The two of you did a cheers and he leaned back into the couch, hi shoulder touching yours.

He let you finish off the romcom you were watching before the two of your poured over old DVD’s. He’d convinced you to settle on Notting Hill, claiming it was one of the best romantic comedies of all time. You argued and said it was borderline boring, to which Namjoon just scoffed. However, you did your best to conceal the tears you were crying towards the end. Namjoon decided not to rub it in your face because you looked so sad. Soon enough, you found your hand in his. His was warm and it only made you cry more. “Hey…” he said softly, pulling some tissues from his pocket.

You were crying and it wasn’t just the movie. You were sad and lonely as hard as that was to admit to yourself. You missed sharing something with someone, you missed holding hands like Namjoon was currently holding your’s, you even missed playing damn Overwatch. You thought yourself a very independent person and you hated yourself for crying because you were alone on Valentine’s Day. The thought itself drew a choked sob out of you and with your free hand, you furiously wiped at your face.

Taking the tissues, you sloppily dabbed at your face, warm with tears and more than two glasses of red wine. “I’m literally the most pathetic person on planet Earth right now,” you said between sobs, “You don’t have to hold my hand, Namjoon. Thank you, but you don’t have to.” You waited for him to drop it but he only interlaces his fingers into yours more tightly. You looked up at him as he started to speak again. “I want to, Y/N,” he said, taking a deep breath, “What’s this about? What’s going on?” You couldn’t even be annoyed with him because he looked so concerned.

You gave yourself a few moments to breathe before you answer him. “It’s just….I don’t know if I miss Sungwoo or…” you said, trailing off.

“Or what….?” Namjoon asked in a concerned voice.

“Or if I’m just hopeless, awkward, and desperate for love!!!” you exclaimed dramatically. It only took Namjoon a second to get the FRIENDS reference. He laughed, intertwining his fingers with yours. The two of you still couldn’t get enough of syndicated FRIENDS reruns on basic cable.

He leaned his shoulder into yours as you took a deep breath. “But in all seriousness,” you continued, “I know it sounds dumb…but…it’s so nice to be liked, to be wanted or needed or whatever…” You looked down at your lap, blinking your eyes a few times.

“I get that,” he said softly, lukewarm fingers now starting to just slightly condensate in your grasp. Namjoon was rarely this affectionate towards anyone. However, in the last month, the two of you had spent a plethora of your time that you were not working on your dissertations, with each other. At your behest, a lot of it in front of the television with junk food, which contrasted to the time after his breakup. But you two had different tastes.

You liked sitting shoulder to shoulder with Namjoon on the couch, crying your eyes out to preteen multicam comedies on Netflix. But you weren’t sure why he’d put up with you. You just came to assume it was because he was concerned after your break up with Sungwoo.

“Ugh, sorry,” you say, shaking your head, trying to shake out of it, “Do you want to pick the next movie? I’ll even watch that Hebrew movie you were talking about? Fill the Void?” You paused for a second before continuing, “That’s the one about arranged marriage right?”

“The young woman married her sister’s widower,” he said, correcting you. You nodded and the two of you settled into the couch to finish the shitty romantic comedy you were watching. When you finished, the two of you had polished off the vanilla ice cream. You took the empty carton, grabbing your second tub and bringing it as Namjoon was loading up the foreign film. Taking another deep breath, you sat down next to him.

The film was slow but stunning and you couldn’t help but getting wrapped up into it along Namjoon. Shoulders still pressed together, you felt your eyes well up unblinkingly at the emotional scenes laying before you. In a lull, you couldn’t help but speak. “Maybe I should just have my family match me up like Shira,” you said, “Easy, relatively painless, percentage chance of heartbreak significantly lowered right?”

You were just bullshitting at this point, working your way through your second glass of wine, using the last tissue from Namjoon’s pocket to dab at some of the drink dripping from your chin. You were reaching the climax in your rant when Namjoon interrupted you. “Just stop, Y/N, okay?” he said, grabbing your shoulders, only shaking you slightly, “One day, a guy is going to be so lucky that you’ve let him be part of your life. Stop beating yourself up about it. It’s a dumb holiday. You are so very much worthy of love. Trust me, I know. So shut up and let’s finish the damn movie.”

He turns away from you and back to the tv, but you can’t help but stare at his profile. Serious and hellbent on concentrating on the subtitled movie. You eyed him suspiciously. “What do you mean ‘I know?”

He let out a large breath through his nose. “Fine,” he said, getting up, “I guess I’m doing this.” You watched him as got up, leaving you alone on the coach, and made his way down the hall in the direction of his bedroom. Less than a minute later, he came back with a stack of letters rubber banded together. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he said, as if he was annoyed.

As you started to ask, he pushed them into your hands. “Just read, don’t talk, okay?” he said, more forceful than you’d really ever seen him before. This time, however, he sat on one of the bar stools a handful of feet away as you slowly undid the two skinny rubber bands.

“Okay,” you said resolutely, as you carefully pried open the first envelope. It had been dated around five or so months ago, in Namjoon’s skinny, clear handwriting. You started reading, feeling your face crease.

Y/N, I took some time before writing this because that’s what you do when someone who has been a fixture in your life, no longer is. By the time I started this, I told you that Chaeha and I broke up. Chaeha told me that she knew my heart wasn’t with her anymore. What’s worse is that she wasn’t even mad. I denied it to her, told her that I only loved her, but she knew better. I don’t know when it all started but…I’m pretty sure you’ve always been more than a friend to me. Two weeks to come to terms with the fact that she was right.

That was only the first letter. There were definitely more than ten letters in the pile and one by one, you opened them. He had written to you once a week since his breakup with Chaeha. A few of the letters were just Namjoon talking about his day, a short trip he took with his parents, the weekend getaway you took with your mutual friends. However, they all revolved around thoughts of you, even if you weren’t present at the time.

You could feel your eyes and face soften. On one hand, it was all too much and the other, not nearly enough. As you picked up the latest one, dated two days ago, you couldn’t help but look over at Namjoon sitting on the stool by the counter. He looked at you as if to encourage you to keep reading but there was something in his eyes that didn’t want yours to leave either. Always an eloquent speaker, his letters spoke volumes beyond what he could physically say.

February 12th, 2019, February 12th, 2019. Two days ago.

I’m sure if you ever read these, Y/N, you’ll have figured it out quickly by this one. You’re so smart and that’s probably one of reasons we get along so well, why that Modern French Philosophy class was the best class I’ve ever taken at this place. Probably one of the reasons why Chaeha and I ended, even. The day I wrote about in the first letter, Chaeha told me it was you. I didn’t completely admit to myself but I’ve had five months to think about us and I can now confirm. I can confirm my feelings. I still am not sure when it all happened but it did. I fell in love with you along the way of our friendship.

Your eyes scanned the rest of the letter, trying to absorb all the information thoroughly but as quickly as possible. You finished, and turned to look at Namjoon over the couch. Your eyes growing softer, wider, and a bit wetter.

Knowing what was going on but not really knowing how to comprehend, your words faltered in your mouth. “What is–? Why–? Really–?” you said, only being able to form a few short, questioning words. You were emotional and a little buzzed already and now ….you were pretty sure your best friend was telling you that he broke up with his girlfriend five months ago because he was in love with you.

Snapping your head towards the kitchen to look at him, you were sure that you probably looked pretty lost. The expression on his face was serious but not hard, his chin between his forefinger and thumb. You wanted to move, to be able to look him closely in the eyes as if that act could provide you with answers. To be honest, you were overwhelmed and for a moment you thought you might just burst into tears. Where was all of this coming from?

The only thing you could do was hold up the stack of haphazardly opened letters. Not as in “I want to give these back” kind of way but in a way that says “I want to talk about these but my mouth and brain aren’t making the connection with one another.” He sloughs out of his chair and rejoins you back on the couch. You turn to him sideways, one knee up on the couch. You jester to him with the envelopes on your hands but a tight grip on them. A grip that might imply you don’t want to let them go, that if you do…what you just read will disappear.

“I know,” he says, “I know…it’s a lot, but it’s not–” He looks into your watery eyes and you can just tell he wants to stay more, that he probably has this eloquent speech or explanation planned out. He always knows what to say to you, what to say to other people. Where you were often speechless and stuck in your own head, he had a way with words that rivaled many heads of state.

You sighed and swallowed. “Tell me, then,” you manage to say, not quite knowing what is possessing you, “tell me what these letters haven’t.” Your knee brushed Namjoon’s thigh when you readjusted yourself next to him, placing the stack of letters on top of where your leg brushed his. You tried to remain as calm as possible for him, so that you could listen to him, but you were shaking. You couldn’t help it and you did your best to conceal that fact, by holding your arms to yourself, even though you didn’t want to look as if you were closed off from the conversation.

Once he started, you could only listen. The way he put into words possibly years of feelings…your heart was fit to burst. He’d been your friend for so long and you had built a relationship on being friends and roommates that you were more than satisfied with. Well, at least…that’s what you thought until the one person it also included flipped your world upside down with his confession.

“…You know I loved Chaeha. I was with her for half a decade,” he said, almost as if he was pleading. You nodded because it was true. He loved Chaeha. You loved her too…obviously not in that way but you’d grown close to her in the past two plus years of being Namjoon’s friend. She’d never…she’d never even given off any vibes that she didn’t like you, that she didn’t trust you, or that her boyfriend of five years might possibly be in love with another woman aka you. That thought hurt you too.

“I know, Namjoon,” you said, “I know you loved her so much. But why? When? How? I–I’m sorry. I’m not the articulate one in this friendship.” You held onto your own fingers so tightly, you knew there might be the possibility that they might bruise.

“I don’t know when it happened but here I am, fucking hopeless and in love with my best friend. Those five months taught me that Chaeha was right and that…she was right to dump me. I couldn’t continue to be in a relationship with her–even if I really cared about her because at the back of my mind, I was always thinking about you.” he said, finally shifting to face you, taking your shaking hands in each of his.

Never thought you’d see your best friend’s gaze falter, never thought he’d ever be at a loss. His hands were as warm as they were before but they felt different. This is what you were afraid of. Things changing between you. That’s why….whatever “little” crush you had on him when you first met, you pushed it aside. There was never going to be a way that you’d let Kim Namjoon slip away from your life. You had always recognized that you found him attractive but he was Namjoon, the PhD candidate with cartoon character pyjama pants and the guy who you’d let in the bathroom while you were in the shower so he could pee.

He still liked you after that and it confused you even more. “Not to sound like a broken record, but why me? What is it about me?” you asked. You were genuinely curious and confused. You weren’t a mess, per say, but you and Namjoon shared every streaming service and refused to purchase cable tv because you were on a budget. Chaeha had been beautiful, smart, and a fantastic career and life going for her. Why was your roommate looking at you like you held the fucking universe? Why was he taking a step closer to you right now? Why were his eyes bigger and glassier than you’d ever seen them before?

Why was it that when he squeezed your hands in his and he finally looked at you in the eyes, you could feel all the confusing puzzle pieces finally fall into place? Could he see the light bulb go off in your brain?

“What isn’t it about you?” he said, suddenly smiling more brightly than he had since he walked through the door, “One, you’re my best friend. Two, without you I would starve. Three, I realized you have always made my heart do this.” He took one of the hands he was holding and put it on his heart. It was beating rather fast. You could feel your fingers press into the shirt covering his chest, looking for some kind of anchor to keep you on this earth. Now that the two of you were closer, you could feel the light breeze of his wine breath on your face.

Of your own accord, you moved the hand on his chest to the juncture of his neck and shoulder in attempt to not pull him to you but still bring him closer. The only sound you could hear was the foreign film in the background and the sound of your own ragged breath. “What are you thinking?” he asks so quietly, that if it wasn’t silent, you wouldn’t have been able to catch it.

“It’s just that…the feelings I have…I have…I have pressed them so far down because of how much our friendship means to me, how much you mean to me…that I’m just trying to wrap my head around this,” you rambled. Your thumb rubbed at his jaw, reveling in the warmth and softness of his skin there. “Did you know…that I had a crush on you when we first became friends?” you said, not being able to help but chuckle at yourself a little.

“No,” he said, looking down at you.

“But you were with Chaeha and you two were really cute and I wanted to be your friend so bad that I–” you said but in a fast moment, were cut off by Namjoon’s lips against yours. You wanted to cry because you’d thought about it more than you wanted to admit. Repressing your crush on Namjoon was now going to take its toll in the form of big soppy tears that were pooling in your tear ducts.

Pressing your finger into his jaw, you used your hand to bring him closer, a sob stuck in your throat. You used a little more momentum than you had thought to and Namjoon ended up half on top of you as you fell back into the large, squishy couch cushion. His hands were soon around your waist and your arms slipped around his shoulders.

After coming up for air, you managed to get out “Sorry, I’m all emotional. This is all so good but a little much. I just…you overwhelm me…in a good way.” You tacked that bit on at the end because it was true. The very thought and feel of him right now consumed you.

“Please don’t feel pressured to say or do anything you don’t want to,” he said earnestly, “That’s the last thing I want to happen. Your friendship, regardless of this, means everything to me.” You smile, bringing his lips back to you. When you pressed him even closer to you, Namjoon eagerly maneuvered so that you were underneath him on the couch. His fingers brushed your bare sides while yours dipped under the collar of his t-shirt.

He melded to you like you had been there all along.

“I said it earlier but…Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he said, that big, happy doofy smile blooming across his face.

“You too, Joon,” you said, biting your bottom lip before pulling him in closer. The two of you remained tangled up together for several more minutes until eventually, you ended up on top of Namjoon. When you finally separated, the movie was over and you decided to clear up all your mess on the coffee table except for the wine.

As you reached for the tub of ice cream in order to take it to kitchen, you peered inside only to be disappointed. “Goddamnit, the ice cream melted!” you said annoyedly. But before you could walk to throw it in the trash can, a pair of arms looped around your middle as a chin pressed into your shoulder.

“So did I,” Namjoon said into your ear. You couldn’t help but chortle at the cheesy line. As cheesy as it was, it was still lovely. You wrapped your arms around his and leaned back into him as you help the condensation covered melted tub of ice cream. When his lips reached behind your ear, you leaned forward to place the tub on a surface, not wanting it all over the carpet.

Smiling at that moment, you promised yourself to never call Valentine’s Day a consumerist holiday ever again.

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