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jammie3132 · 1 year ago

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Fandom: Glee Pairing: Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe Summary: Blaine Anderson and his best friends are co-owners of the hottest (literally) new restaurant in NYC…Dueling Dragons. When they discover Sebastian Smythe (city’s toughest food critic and well-known hater of anything spicy) is coming, everyone goes into crisis mode to make sure his review doesn’t bring down what they’ve worked so hard to build.

10 Days of Seblaine 2023 Day 7: Dragons

“Hell no!” Sebastian Smythe, NYC’s most popular (and toughest) food critic, yelled as he plopped down on the couch in his editor’s office. He was too tired (technically hung over) for this.

“Did I give you the impression you had an option?”

“I’ll quit.”

Santana Lopez laughed at her favorite employee (most of the time). “Dueling Dragons is Manhattan’s hottest new restaurant. You’re the website’s critic for new/up and coming restaurants…”

“I can’t do spicy, you know that. When I researched the place, being thorough as usual, I you don't know what you'll get until you arrive that night. And it's a set menu, the only choice you have is Asian or Latin. I wouldn't have the chance to ask for substitutions. On top of that, the five courses get progressively hotter, and I don’t mean temperature. The Scoville scale is involved!”

"Remind me again why you chose to become a Food Critic?"

"You know damn well when spicy isn't involved, my palate is the best in the business."

“That is true." His palate and award-winning writing was the primary reason Santana had her current job. "I heard alcohol is also part of the experience. Maybe by the third course you won’t care.”

“I heard alcohol is also part of the experience. Maybe by the third course you won’t care.”

“Getting drunk won’t help, especially once they figure out I’m there for a review. It’s not like I’ll fly under the radar.”

“Come on, I’m known as The Spicy Latina. I’ve got to go. I’ll eat whatever half you don’t and give you my two-cents.”

“You know that’s not the way it works. I can’t review anything I didn’t eat. So again, the answer is N…O…NO!”

“Rumor is all of the owners are gorgeous and at least one is gay.” Fuck! Why did she say that?

“Yeah, I’ve seen a couple of Blaine Anderson’s interviews. He’s definitely sex-on-a-stick. But remember, I was told by company lawyers not to sleep with the owners of the restaurants anymore.”

“I meant flirt, you slut! Bat your dreamy eyes and flash your snarky smile. Turn on the charm your followers and fangirls/boys fall for.”

“Hey! The judge believed that the idiot only sued because his husband caught us and threw out the lawsuit! And if I knew the guy was married it never would’ve happened! You, more than anyone know that!”

“Seb…”

“I might be a man whore but I’m not a slut!” Once Sebastian calmed down (slightly), he realized there had to be more going on if they were discussing what was never to be mentioned at work. “What’s this really about, San?”

Was it a smart idea for Sebastian to sleep with the owner of the place he was there to review? Hell no! But none of the shit show that followed was his fault. He was just the one paying for it. “The lawsuit might have been thrown out, but your reputation took a big hit.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Bad enough.”

“Tell them to send Thad. That guy can eat anything.”

“That’s why he covers street food. The big bosses said it has to be you.”

Santana wasn’t just Sebastian’s editor. She’d been his best friend since 3rd grade. He could read her like a book. There was still something she wasn’t telling him…Oh shit! “I know I threatened to quit, but are you saying I could get fired?”

“I’m saying it would be in your best interest to create some positive attention. Just being seen at Dueling Dragons will generate tons of comments on social media with your fans guessing what, if anything, you’ll eat. Your spice aversion isn’t a secret. I think the only reason some people follow you is to see if you’ll vomit. People in this city are gross.”

Sebastian sighed and shook his head. He’d gotten himself into this, only he could get himself out of it. “What night are we going so I can renew my prescriptions? And I’ll probably need a couple days off to give my digestive system time to recover.”

“We have reservations for 7PM tomorrow. Go call your doc and I’ll submit for the time off.” The conversation had actually gone better than Santana expected. “I’ll get you through this.”

“Damn straight you will. I’m going home with you afterwards so you can take care of me while I’m puking my guts out.”

“It’s the least I can do. And Seb, I’m sorry about the slut comment.”

“I love you too Satan.”

Blaine Anderson loved his job. What he didn’t love was how much time he spent doing interviews. He still didn’t understand how these had become his responsibility.

Is it true you and your partners, Sam Evans and Mike Chang, had the idea for Dueling Dragons back in high school?

Not quite. It’s true we’ve been best friends since high school and talked about opening a restaurant someday, but not until Culinary School. Dueling Dragons didn’t come together until after we reunited last year.

Can I ask why the three of you separated for so long?

While we all knew we wanted a career in Culinary, and went to the Institute together, each of us had our own interests. Sam focused on mixology and wine studies. Mike’s love was Hispanic/Latin cuisine. After graduation he spent 2 years traveling Mexico, as well as Central and South America, working for some of the best chefs in the world.

And you?

I left the Institute at the end of my first year when I was accepted to the Cordon Blue in Paris. After 2 years there I spent 3 years in Southeast Asia basically doing the same thing Mike did. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to end this to go prepare for tonight.

No need to apologize. This was the only information that wasn’t clear from our previous interview. The article should be up on our site next Friday. And thank you for the reservation this weekend. The entire office was embarrassed when we couldn’t solve this week’s puzzle and get the code.

We know having a weekly code to make a reservation is a little weird, but it’s working for now. However, with as popular as we’re getting, we’re close to the point where we’ll have to come up with something new.

If at all possible…don’t. Our advertising department thinks it’s brilliant. It drives traffic to your website. Not to mention, the exclusivity of having to have the code to make a reservation works for NYC. Some A-list celebrities I know practically begged me to help them get a code when they found out I’m writing an article on you.

It took another 5 minutes to get the guy off the phone, but Blaine was happy to see the call took less time than he thought it would. He had to get the stock for tomorrow night’s soup course on to simmer. When he walked into the kitchen Sam and Mike were huddled together with their lead hostess, Brittany. These conversations never ended well. “What’s wrong and how much will it cost to fix?” he asked once he got them into the office.

“It’s nothing like that” Mike assured him before moving his focus to Brittany.

They’d hired her away from what was now their biggest rival and worth every penny they overpaid her. “I was going through tomorrow’s reservations and there’s one under the name Grant Dalton.”

“So?”

“Grant Dalton is an alias Sebastian Smythe uses to make reservations. I didn’t think to include Smythe on our list of critic aliases because everyone knows he doesn’t eat spicy food. He has some sort of digestive condition.”

“This is a disaster!” Mike had always been the (overdramatic) worrier of the group, especially with what he considered the sky is falling events. “He’s doing this to give us a negative review. That’s the only reason. He…”

Blaine reached up and clutched tightly to his tall friend’s shoulders (please calm down, please calm down). “Mikey, take a breath. His bosses were here the other night and told each of us how much they enjoyed themselves. Even if Smythe plans to sabotage us, they wouldn’t allow a hit piece on the website.”

“But he does have a massive social media following” Brittany reminded them.

“Although he had that scandal” Sam said much too nonchalantly for anyone’s comfort. He was the one with the big ideas, but also the one with the ridiculous plans to accomplish them.

“He was cleared.” All eyes turned to Blaine. “What? I follow him on Instagram. He’s gorgeous…and gay.”

“Perfect!”

Uh-oh! “Samuel Dwight Evans, whatever plan you’re forming…”

“Blaine Devon Anderson, wouldn’t you do anything within your power to save Dueling Dragons? Our dream…”

“Where all our money is invested! Every…single…dime!” Mike began to hyperventilate but Brittany got him to a chair and helped with his breathing exercises. She’d become their Mike Chang whisperer in the short time she had been with them.

Correction on his previous statement. They weren’t paying their lead hostess nearly enough.

“You both, and Brittany, know I’d do anything for Dueling Dragon, but I’m not going to sleep with Smythe…no matter how gorgeous he is.”

Sam went to Blaine and put his arm around his shoulders. That was never good. “I wasn’t saying sleep with him…woo him. Picture this, we set him and his dinner companion…

“When he uses Grant Dalton he’s usually with his editor, Santana Lopez.”

“Thanks Britt because this wouldn’t work if he was on a date. Where was I…oh, yeah. We set Smythe and Lopez up in a private room, primarily so other customers don’t see him vomit, but also so you can read his mood. We can adjust as needed.”

So far, this wasn’t bad. “Ok, where does the wooing come in?”

“Come on, B. I know your love life if crap…”

“Hey!”

“Your last boyfriend who lasted longer than a week was the guy you ran all the to the Cordon Blue to get away from.”

He wasn’t lying. “Continue.”

“You’re a complete package…good looking, expressive eyes with ridiculous eyelashes, tone body…thanks to me, amazing ass…thanks to me. But your secret weapon? That flirty yet snarky charm of yours. Cast him under your spell. Jedi mind trick him if necessary…”

Blaine freed himself from his partner’s hold and began to pace. The others just watched for a while until Brittany asked “Blaine, are you going to share with the class?”

“What if we did Jedi mind trick him?”

Sam looked to the others and then back to Blaine. “I was kidding, Dude.”

“No, listen. Part of our popularity is we have a different menu every night. Customers have no idea what they’ll get until they get here.”

“Yeah, Blaine” Mike was confused…they were all confused. “We wrote the mission statement with you.”

“I know but while we serve half Asian/half Latin, that’s not what the mission statement says. That’s our choice. The mission statement says quality food. That’s the only requirement we set for ourselves. And the #1 rule for Food Critics is they can’t review anything they didn’t taste themselves.”

“Still don’t get it.”

“We don’t have to serve him spicy.”

“Then what the hell are we serving him?”

“Let me take care of that.”

NEXT DAY 6:45 PM

“Blaine Anderson!” Sam stormed into the kitchen with a receipt in his hand. Blaine hoped that meant what he thought it did. “Why did I just sign for a $1000 bottle of French wine?”

“Yes, it made it! I was beginning to panic.”

Mike hurried over (no running in the kitchen) from his station. “$1000?! On ONE bottle of wine?!”

“Hey Mikey” his head sous chef called from his side of the kitchen. “There’s something wrong with this batch of soup.”

“Oh my God!”

Blaine and Sam weren’t worried about the soup. They’d asked Mike’s staff to invent a potential food disaster whenever situations like this occurred. However, that didn’t mean they weren’t worried. “This has to work, B. We can’t have Smythe trashing us. It’ll kill our momentum.”

“I’m hoping if he does people will take our current reputation and his aversion to spicy food into consideration, but I’m worried too…don’t tell Mikey.”

“Are you kidding? We’re too busy for Brittany to spend the night back here having him breathe into his oxygen tank. Speaking of busy, I’ve got to get out front. Things are so crazy tonight I had to schedule both our new bartenders.” As he walked back to the bar, Sam saw Smythe and who had to be his editor approaching the Hostess Station. "Ok Britt, you're on."

Sebastian was the one dreading the evening but it was Santana who stopped before reaching the Hostess Station. “Did you change your mind? Can we get out of here?”

She tightened her grip on his arm and nodded to the blonde behind the station before. “Where have we seen her before? I remember those boobs from somewhere.”

“Mr. Smythe, Ms. Lopez, you table is ready.”

Sebastian leaned over and quietly asked “Why didn’t you use my alias?”

“She did” the same blonde, who was now right in front of them, answered. “Would you please follow me?”

If that was confusing, they were more confused when they were escorted to a private room set for two. “We thought you’d be more comfortable in here, Mr. Smythe. There’s privacy if something you eat doesn’t agree with you. Hopefully, that won’t be an issue.”

The beautiful blonde excused herself, but Sebastian needed answers.

“How did you know…?”

“That you’re Grant Dalton? What can I say? I’m a genius.”

Once she was gone Santana announced “I’m going to marry that woman.”

“Tone it down, Lopez. My public humiliation doesn’t mean I just can’t sleep with restaurant staff. Everyone was included…” Sebastian was rendered speechless when the most beautiful man he’d ever seen walked in. He’d known Blaine Anderson was attractive from watching his interviews. In person he was stunning.

Blaine was hit with exactly the same thoughts about Sebastian. But he couldn’t be distracted. Everyone was counting on him. He placed a rectangular bucket of ice in front of each of them and stepped back.

“Good evening Ms. Lopez, Mr. Smythe, I’m Blaine Anderson, one of the co-owners, and I’d like to welcome you to Dueling Dragons. Within these buckets are carafes of water and milk, if you should require relief at some point.”

Sebastian looked into his bucket and saw a third carafe. “Why do I have an extra carafe?”

“Pepto Bismal…should you require extra relief.”

Santana sat back and watched the interaction between the two. So, this is what they meant by YOU could cut the (sexual) tension with a knife. Any other time she would’ve helped amp it up, but not now. “Can we have a rundown of tonight’s menus?”

“That’s not how it works. I will not give you a rundown. I will give you the title of each theme and you choose from there. I will say some of our Asian dishes tonight do contain peanuts, but our kitchens are completely separate with no chance of cross contamination.”

“No issues here. I was always choosing Latin. What’s my theme?”

“You’re in luck. Tonight it’s Tour of Mexico. It’s one of the most popular themes my partner prepares.”

“Wait” Sebastian might have been intrigued by the man but he felt like he was being set up. ”If I remember correctly you are the other chef of the trio. Why aren’t you in the kitchen?”

“I assure you, Mr. Smythe, anyone who chooses my cuisine tonight will leave Dueling Dragons completely satisfied.”

“Challenge accepted. And what is my theme for the evening?”

“Surprise me.”

After Blaine left, Sebastian pulled out a notebook and pen. “They’re up to something. Trying to throw me off with their private room and Pepto Bismal. Not to mention, Anderson’s gorgeous eyes and amazing ass. But I’m too smart for that.”

On the other side of the restaurant, Blaine announced triumphantly to Mike and the kitchen staff “He bought it! Now the fun begins.”

Serving a 5-course meal was playing a piece of music. Each part building upon the one before until it reached the crescendo, or in this case, main course. Besides taste, the fastest way to ruin the meal was for the timing to be off. So, after checking how his staff was doing with his scheduled theme, Cambodian Combustion, he made sure everything was in order before he took out the first course. None of his amazing staff was touching anything he served the critic. For better or for worse, this was all on him.

“Mikey! Let’s go!” His partner brought him a small cloche covered plate. “Is the soup good to go? You know there’s no turnaround time between one and two.”

“Now who’s nervous? And the soup is ready to go. You can do this, Blaine. It’s not like our entire future isn’t riding on this.”

Back in the private room, Sebastian noticed something for the first time. “There’s a trash can next to my chair in case their food makes me sick.”

“Can you blame them? Seb, this isn’t just their livelihood, this is their dream. You showing up has to be their worst nightmare. So, what if they figured out you were coming and prepared as much as possible? Have somewhat of an open mind…please?”

“You just want to take the hostess home with you.”

“Yes, but instead I’m taking your sorry ass home. And you can’t tell me you’re not intrigued by Anderson.”

“I definitely am but I’m putting it on the back burner until I figure out what he’s up to…shut up, he’s back. Let’s get this over with.”

With his back turned, Blaine took a deep breath before plastering a smile on his face. It wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Smythe was as charming as he was gorgeous.

Show time!

“I am proud to present your Amuse Bouche course this evening. If you’ll remove the cloche. Ms. Lopez, you have a handmade corn tortilla chip with jalapeno mouse. Mr. Smythe, tartlet with foie gras and caramelized onion.”

Sebastian looked to Santana who shrugged. It didn't make sense to her either.

“We are pairing the chip tonight with a shot of Patron and Mr. Smythe, you have received a taster’s glass of Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2019 as your pairing. Enjoy and I will return momentarily with the soup course.”

The editor was humming enjoyment for her course, but the critic had all sorts of questions. “Anderson, what the hell is this?”

“Your Amuse Bouche. As I recall, you accepted the challenge to eat what I prepared. Remember we do not allow substitutions. If you’ll excuse me.”

Santana reached toward her partner’s plate. “If you aren’t going to eat it, I will. It looks delicious.”

He slapped her hand away. “Tana, that wine is like $1000 a bottle. And the crust on this tartlet is perfect. Oh, I get it. His theme tonight is Surprise me. There’s probably Thai chilis in this or something. But I don’t smell…”

“Eat the damn thing already!”

Sebastian closed his eyes and popped the tartlet in his mouth, expecting the worse. It was one of the most delicious things he’d ever eaten.

“Is everyone ready for soup?”

This continued through the next 3 courses…a classic French dish with a French alcoholic pairing. He knew Santana’s courses were following the expected process of increasing creasing heat because she’d gone through half her milk and was drinking his water because hers was gone.

But they were surprised when Blaine told her she had a choice for her final dish. They were not as surprised when that meant the habanero version or the ghost pepper version. She wisely chose habanero.

“Mr. Smythe, if you’d remove your cloche.”

Sebastian removed the cover to find his favorite meal…Coq au vin.

“Ok, what the fuck Anderson?”

“Have you not enjoyed what I presented you?”

“It’s the best damn food I’ve ever eaten but…”

“Enjoy your Coq au vin, Mr. Smythe. If you still have questions when you’re finished, I will be happy to answer them.”

Blaine left before he could be asked anything else but ran directly into Sam. “How’s it going?”

“Food wise? Best food he ever ate. Otherwise? I’m probably going to need the rest of that very expensive bottle of wine to calm him down.”

“No, I’ve got a better idea.”

Blaine didn’t serve them the Dragon fruit sorbet that came at the end of the dinner. It wasn’t big enough to be called a dessert, just enough to cool the mouth down after the final (and spiciest) course. 10 minutes later Brittany asked Santana if she’d like to see the kitchen and thank her chef. Sebastian knew there was no way she was declining. They were barely out the door when Blaine appeared with a bottle of cognac and two glasses. “Still have questions?”

“Don’t you have a restaurant to run?”

“That’s why I have partners and pay our staff 25% above going rate. We also tip match nightly with kitchen staff.”

“Most establishment have servers tip share.”

“We don’t.”

“Don’t you think that’s a risky plan for a new restaurant, especially in NYC?”

“Less expensive than constant turnover and retraining. Now that we’ve established I’m not abandoning my responsibilities, do you have anything else to ask or are you writing a hit piece no matter what I say?”

Sebastian sat back and sipped at his cognac. The Blaine Anderson who served them dinner was charming, but it felt a bit…staged. Snarky Blaine Anderson was his fucking wet dream (seriously…fucking wet dream). “Who cooked my meal?”

“I did.”

“Anderson…” Blaine scrolled through his phone. When he found what he was looking for he handed it across the table. “Your bio?”

“Read it.”

It didn’t take long for Sebastian to find…“You graduated top of your class at The Cordon Blue? In Paris? Why the fuck are you cooking that spicy shit?” For some reason, that was exactly the wrong thing to ask.

“Fuck you! Write what you want. We’ll survive whatever bullshit you say about us!”

Blaine started leave as it hit Sebastian how badly he’d screwed up. “Sorry, I’m really sorry, that’s not what I meant…well, it is, but not the…shit! Can I have a do over? Hi, my name is Sebastian Smythe. I’m a food critic and an idiot. I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you but I don’t know if that’s possible…on my part. I’ve just eaten the best meal of my life cooked by the most attractive chef I’ve ever seen and I’m totally off my game.”

Blaine sat back down but was not fully sold on the apology. Despite that he brought down his defenses to explain. “I was in a relationship when I was at the Institute. The Cordon Blue was his dream, not mine. When he sent in his application, he forged one for me. I got accepted, he didn’t. As you can guess, he didn’t take it well. It got so bad I broke up with him which made it worse. I only went to Paris to get away from him.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

“While I was there I learned everything I could. I mean I did finish first in my class. But Paris was always his dream. From Paris I went to the Philippines to visit my mom’s family. I found out Mikey was on his trek through South America and thought What the hell? I’m here. The Philippines turned into 3 years in Southeast Asia. It was the best thing I ever did.”

Sebastian went for the bottle of cognac to discover it was empty. Not good. The booze would have helped quash the feelings that were developing for the man sitting across from him. “Then why cook me the best dinner I ever ate.”

“We assumed you were doing a hit piece as part of your crusade against all things spicy. We invested everything we have in Dueling Dragons…savings, inheritance, trust funds.”

“I wasn’t doing a hit piece. Ever since my life became Page six fodder, my reputation has taken a hit. You’re the most popular new restaurant in NYC. It’s my job to review new restaurants. In the past I would’ve passed this assignment to a different critic. This time I wasn’t given the option. I think my bosses wanted me to bail so they could fire me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

ONE WEEK LATER

Blaine was in his office, going over the books. His idea to trick Sebastian Smythe cost nearly $3000 they didn’t have. He didn’t know how to tell Sam, and no way in hell he was telling Mike. Maybe they could try to fit in a few more tables on weekends?

He was so focused on the numbers he didn’t hear Brittany the first time she called his name. “Blaine!”

“Oh, sorry Britt. What’s up?”

“There’s someone here to interview you.”

"I don't have an interview scheduled."

“I don’t know what to tell you. The guy said he needed to talk to an owner and insisted it was you.”

While he was annoyed at least it gave him a chance to clear his head. That was until he saw Sebastian Smythe was the person waiting to talk to him.

Fucking great

“What can I do for you Mr. Smythe?”

“How about we take a seat and talk? And maybe call me Sebastian?”

“Sure” With the restaurant empty he motioned to a table far enough from the bar Sam couldn’t eavesdrop. “What can I do for you Sebastian?”

“We had such a dramatic end to my last visit…” Sebastian reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope “I didn’t pay for my meal.”

“Your editor did.”

“No, she paid for the meal I expected to have.”

“I don’t…” Blaine opened the envelope and found a check for $3048.28. “What is this?”

“I had no idea what to do with my review so I went to my bosses. They laughed so hard that you got one over on me that they insisted paying for everything. That’s an estimate. If it was more…”

“No, it’s down to the penny. Thank you.”

“I swear it wasn’t me, but this is.”

Blaine accepted the gift bag he hadn’t noticed. “Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2019 but that was part of the money…”

“That’s not from my bosses, it’s really from me. I know you don’t have the fondest memories of The Cordon Blue but it’s a travesty you won’t cook French food because of them. I was hoping if I brought the wine you might cook me dinner one night. Not here, but as like a date?”

“YES!!” Evidently their table wasn’t far enough from the bar since Sam, Mike and Brittany answered for him.

“My friends…this is just a date?”

“Yes. After the last few months I learned my lesson about…well, you read the tabloids. I think I’d like to take things slow, if that’s alright.”

“Very alright.”

Sebastian’s smile filled his face until…“Please tell me you’re not married.”

LATER THAT DAY

Dueling Dragons A Sebastian Smythe Review

It is not a secret that I don’t like spicy food. It’s not that I don’t like it, due to a digestive condition, I cannot eat it without becoming violently ill. I’m usually able to avoid these dishes when reviewing a restaurant.

Then I was assigned to review Dueling Dragons.

Dueling Dragons is co-owed by two of NYC’s hottest (pun intended) new chefs, Mike Chang and Blaine Anderson, and a master of mixology, Sam Evans. Their unique vision of a half Latin/half Asian menu is a breath of fresh air.

I am declaring the latest trend of Wall Street burnouts deciding “Hey, I can cook. I’ll open a restaurant” officially over. I refuse to eat tasteless pasta, steaks dripping in a pound of butter or overcook salmon again. NYC is the greatest city in the world. We don’t deserve that crap. We deserve food prepared with thought and a little whimsy. More than that, we deserve food prepared by expert hands. Hands of chefs who give a damn, not only for the meals they prepare but the customers they serve.

What we deserve is Dueling Dragons

Yes, I ate the food. No, I’m not going to describe what I ate. Each night is a new experience, and I don’t want to ruin yours.

I will say it was the best meal I ever ate.

#10daysofseblaine2023 #Day 7 #Dragons #blaine anderson #sebastian smythe #seblaine fic

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venividivincent · 1 year ago

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How to write Green Arrow in 2023:

1) Bring back Green Arrow’s leftist bent and have him fight white collar criminals. He quits the Justice League and vows to leave all the supernatural/otherworldly Starro shit to the other capes; he’s going to be helping people on the ground from now on, making sure they have housing and access to healthcare. Occasionally he shoots someone with a bow, I guess.

2) Each 4-6 issue story arc functions like an episode of Last Week Tonight or something like that (Holy shit! Jon Oliver Queen!!?!?) in that it functions as both entertainment and kinda backdoor educates the viewer/reader, or shines a light on a different topic: tax havens, “Don’t Say Gay” bills, Landback, police unions, whatever. Shit, have him look into QANON and incels or comic-booky representations thereof.

3) Like 3 or 4 arcs in, once the series has found it’s feet a bit, Queen sues Wayne Tech. He’s been digging into Wayne’s finances and found dozens of shell companies that seem to be diverting funds from Wayne Tech to… well to somewhere? These funds just kind of disappear from the books. So Bats is all “Haha Ollieee, bud, you know. That’s for the, haha, you know, *wink emoji* *bat emoji* (bro wtf, you trying to blow up my spot? You want me to make this hard for you?)”

Oliver, one of the only characters besides Constantine who doesn’t give a *poop emoji* and will talk shit directly to Batman, is like “Yeah? Say it into the mic please? (All of the taxes that you haven’t been paying belong to the people. Pay your share. Pay what you owe us. Wanna risk getting doxxed?).”

4) Imagine the letter column. If the tone of the book was right it’d be filled with tankies and anarchists in no time.

Do I just need to read fanfic at this point?

#comics #green arrow #batman #dc comics #the dude is literally Robin Hood #like #come on #it’s not hard

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stormyoceans · 2 years ago

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[VICE VERSA episode 3 parts 1&2]

Talay with his anti-fantasy bias again, thankfully Puen answers him for me

Hey Nurse, don’t you have a /job/

WHAT DID PUEN DO TO MAKE TALAY WANNA KICK HIM

Maybe Puen was on to more than I thought when he brought up hurting him (WHILE LITERALLY IN BED)

“It’s extremely difficult to find a match” Bitch where, the only example you have are two girls who clicked on the same day

These two seem to have switched, now Talay’s the chill one while Puen is fussing over going back

“If it’s you, I’m okay” Puen: *d-doki*

“I don’t like pink” Talay shut the fuck up

Also just because the pants belong to Tess doesn’t mean you HAVE to wear them

“Open your mouth willingly or I make you” There he goes again with his dom streak

“The café doesn’t really wow me” That’s because you’re not in a CAT café my man

Talay please don’t ever apply for the job of forensic sketch artist

“Were you born with straight hair” Nope my hair is hella gay

DID YOU GUYS EVEN PAY FOR THE MEAL

Okay but Tess is just the kid of the guy who owns the film company right? How on earth did the script become his business? What the heck is his position

It went by fast but Up and Aou went to “pee” /together/, HMMMM

“You once had a 39 degree fever” Puen should’ve said “yeah but this is a /forty/ degree fever”

AOU SPITTING OUT HIS DRINK IS SO FUNNY SLDKJFSKLD

Right so this is where I really don’t Puen simply because I h a t e drunk drivers, it’s one of the most irresponsible things you can do and I wish they’d chosen something less severe to show that he’s not treating Tun’s life with respect

(Jimmy’s drunk acting is still pretty funny though)

I feel so fucking bad for Up and Aou man, they worked so hard on this and now their friend is acting like a clown and about to ruin the whole thing and they don’t understand why

DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH WHEN THERE’S FOOD IN IT PUEN, FUCK

It’s pretty thoughtful of Talay to ask him what’s wrong rather than to keep chastising him

Poor Tun is literally living the “what if you woke up famous” question

Up’s “HELLO!” I’m screaming

Call me an uncultured swine but isn’t social satire also a form of comedy

Maybe Tun shouldn’t have gotten physical but I don’t even give a shit, throw those asshats in the trash instead of the scripts

Like yes apparently the scripts sucked and yes they thought they were alone but would it kill you to be professional (and respectful, like they literally SPAT on the scripts) at your workplace, Jesus

Going by their flaws I’d probably hate Tun’s script the most lmao, I hate plotholes (well, big ones that truly kill a story)

I think I’d be with Up; toss a middle finger at 26P and try every other film studio

As much as I have my gripes with Puen being stupid I appreciate that he regrets it so sincerely

I NEED TO KNOW IF THOSE GOOFY EXPRESSIONS WERE ALL SEA, LIKE THE DIRECTOR SAID “okay go nuts with your face” AND HE DID

“The old Tun has died” You have no idea

Screw the person who has to clean these windows lmao

Love how Up’s sentence is five times the size of the other two XD

the way i ended up writing an entire in-depth analysis for this episode yesterday only to lose it forever because of my shitty internet connection :)))))))))

not even gonna try to replicate it but the point was!!!!!!! i feel like people either want to ignore the drunk puen narrative or use that to condemn him and i think both attitudes are kinda doing a disservice to the character. the show can’t really explore that side of him because it would clash with the tone of the story, but it does help the viewers form a pretty clear image of puen in their heads, of someone who is acting irresponsibly and should know better than drink and drive, and at the same time of someone who is very lonely and unsatisfied with his life despite being famous and rich. puen is a deeply flawed and human character, and throughout the show he makes tons of mistakes, because at his core he is a selfless man who desperately wants to be selfish for once, which is understandable to a certain extent, but not when he ends up hurting others (in this case, up and aou and, in a way, even tun)

in episode 6 puen says that talay “is the light that saved me” and that’s so true!!! but what i’ve always loved the most about them is that talay is just the lighthouse guiding puen in the right direction: talay is stern but caring, he points out how wrong puen was but never judges him for it, and when he realizes how bad puen feels for what he’s done, he tries to cheer puen up any way he can, but never steps in to fix the situation for him. talay is there to give puen advices and support, but puen is the one to actively make amends and change his behaviour. before being lovers, puen and talay are friends who make each other better, and that’s why i like them so much

ANYWAY!!!!!!

“Open your mouth willingly or I make you” There he goes again with his dom streak <<<<< CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO PUT THIS IN MY TOP 10 MOST UNHINGED PUEN MOMENTS IT DEFINITELY DESERVED A SPOT THERE SHAME ON ME

Okay but Tess is just the kid of the guy who owns the film company right? How on earth did the script become his business? What the heck is his position <<<<< i think it’s because tess’ father always wanted him to work for the company, and in episode 1 we see tess’ brother bringing talay along to help out with all the people wanting to sell their movie project. that’s how he meets tun again, and in episode 2 when talay goes to bar and meets up and aou as well, he says “your screenplay is bought. i talked to my brother for you”, so i think talay acting as an intermediary also made the project his responsibility in the company (it’s like he’s their agent, sort of?)

I NEED TO KNOW IF THOSE GOOFY EXPRESSIONS WERE ALL SEA, LIKE THE DIRECTOR SAID “okay go nuts with your face” AND HE DID <<<<< IM PRETTY SURE THAT WAS JUST SEA BEING HIMSELF because apparently stealing phones and making funny faces is his hobby

also i don’t talk nearly enough about my love for up and aou but GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

#at this point the universe is basically screaming at me to shut the fuck up about vice versa and i simply choose to ignore it <3 #vera and monica watch vice versa #m: ask

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years ago

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i don’t know if you take meet ugly requests outside of the list, but if you do, I’m always a sucker for stern finding out barclay is bigfoot in a different way (wink wink nudge nudge they are having sex and the bracelet comes off)? no problem if not though :)

Sure thing! Here you go. I believe the joke about "bigfoot hunting" came from @bellafarallones originally. I set this in the 70s, just for fun.

The irony of his worst-case scenario being everyone else’s euphemism for a good time is not lost on Barclay.

He’s not even sure when “bigfoot hunting” became code for “get down in the woods” in Kepler’s little gay community. He just knows that, until someone cleared it up for him, he was panicking from all the guys saying they and their friend ought to go looking for him.

Now he’s in the wildest situation imaginable: considering asking someone to go bigfoot hunting with him.

It’s not his fault the stone fox that is Joseph Stern decided to stay at Amnesty Lodge. Ned and Aubrey even tried to talk him out of it (for the very good reason that the fewer out of towners hanging around a space crawling with cryptids, the better) but the guy wasn’t interested in the other digs in town. In his more confident moments, Barclay likes to think seeing him behind the lunch counter is what swayed his decision.

It’s not a totally bogus conclusion; Joseph sends more than just meal times in Barclay’s restaurant and, increasingly, his kitchen. He does crossword puzzles over coffee, asking Barclay for help and criticizing the clues (Barclay has to agree with him, whoever is writing the crossword in the Kepler Gazette is really reaching lately). He stops by and reads at his table or the counter during lunch. And in the evenings he sticks around after closing, keeping Barclay company as he wipes down tables and sets up the chairs. Lately, he even helps him close up.

The encroaching summer is making it worse. Joseph, stylish as he is, favors this year’s trend of shorts that are shorter than most of Barclay’s boxers. Combine that with his always slicked-back black hair and sharp, blue eyes and Barclay is getting really, really good at keeping something in front of his crotch at all times.

For the first two months, he thought his crush on Joseph was as hopeless as cooking a souffle in a hurricane. Then the songs started.

They’d been talking about music, Joseph paying close attention whenever Barclay mentioned a band or song he dug. Barclay didn’t think much of the concentration in his eyes until that night, when the jukebox near the counter started wailing out Gladys Knight. No one ever picks that, he just put it in there so he can listen to it before they open.

When he’d poked his head out of the pass-through, Joseph winked at him from his usual seat.

Since then, he and Joseph trade songs back and forth, Barclay slipping his coins in when he goes out to drop an order on the counter. The longer they do it, the more the titles seem to convey messages, meaning Joseph’s favoring of “Let’s Get it On” this past week is driving Barclay to distraction.

This afternoon, he’s sweeping up the floor when the other man walks in, sweat running down his forehead and hiking boots on his feet.

“I saw you’re closed the next two days.” He tips his head at the sign Barclay posted on the door.

“Yeah, getting new cooktop and doing some repairs on the ceiling. Not great for business this weekend, but I’m looking forward to having a stove that doesn’t have cold spots in random places.”

“Are you, um, doing anything on your days off?”

“Nothing big. You, uh, you wanna hit the town?” He grins to hide his hopes.

“We could. But I was thinking, you know the forest pretty well and I could use a second set of eyes and, well...do you want to go bigfoot hunting tomorrow?”

Barclay directs just enough focus from keeping his hands from snapping the metal handle to his mouth to say, “sure thing.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“According to the map Ranger Newton gave me, this spot is still within bounds for camping with the permit I have.” Joseph studies the treetops, the brush, their proximity to the river and his second map, the one with all his notes. Yes, this is the optimal spot for a stakeout.

“Sweet.” Barclay opens the trunk, “I’ll get the tent set up.”

They have plenty of daylight left, but it won’t hurt to have camp all ready to go before they set off; if all goes well, they may not be back until after dark, and he’s pitched enough tents in the pitch black for one lifetime.

He secures their food and builds a rudimentary fire pit, then grabs his sleeping bag to toss into the erected tent. Barclay is still inside, straightening out his sleeping bag and adjusting the pillow. Joseph kicks off his shoes and zips the mesh door to keep out the bugs; cicadas are harmless but that doesn’t mean he has to like the idea of one crawling on him in his sleep.

“How’s it look?” Barclay watches him intently as he unrolls the sleeping bag.

“Perfect. Nice and cozy.”

A happy growl from beside him, then a big hand closing around his wrist and pulling him atop the cook.

“Good” Barclay looks up at him, licking his lips, “didn’t wanna waste any time.”

Lord, his chest is broad from this angle. Joseph’s professionalism is all that stands between him and spending the rest of the day leaving hickeys on it.

“Barclay, I’m not opposed to this, but we should do what we came here first.”

“...Is this not why you wanted to come here?”

“I thought I was pretty clear about coming to look for bigfoot. Why do you think I brought the binoculars? And the headlamps?”

Beautiful, brown eyes blink up at him. Then, Barclay chuckles, “Think I see what’s up. Around here you, uh, you ask someone on a ‘bigfoot hunt’ if you’re looking to score. No idea why, but it’s so common it didn’t even occur to me that you’d mean something else.”

He snickers, “Almost sounds like something I’d come up with on my own. But no, we’re spending today walking that creekbed.” Curious, he wiggles his hips as he leans down to whisper, “then we can spend tonight like this.”

Barclay whines, settling his hands politely on Joseph’s ass.

“You’ve wanted this awhile, haven’t you big guy?”

“Uh huh, Joseph, baby, the things you do to me, woulda let you fuck me over a hot stove if it meant you’d touch me-” His eyes are huge, pupils blown out in black pools of promise.

“Alright, I’ll make you a deal; I’ll let you ask for one thing now. Everything else has to wait until we’re done with work for the day.”

“Yes, yes, deal, I, I wanna” Barclay closes his eyes, inhaling long and deep through his nose, “fuuuuck, I wanna suck your dick. Can I? Please?”

Joseph hesitates; no one ever asks for that, and by the time his pants are off they’re too horny to complain at his dick and just go for whatever hole they were planning on fucking in the first place.

“I, um, it’s not, I don’t think it’s what you’re picturing.” He sits up, heart pounding at his chest to tell him he’s blown it.

Barclay shakes his head, “I promise I know what I’m getting, been thinking about it all day, fuck, been driving me crazy.” His shorts hit his knees, Barclay thumbing the crease of his thighs with a moan, “yeah, fuck, c’mere.”

He makes a noise that would, in any other context, embarrass him as Barclay manhandles him far enough forward to sit on his face. But this is Barclay, sweet and gentle and so hot he’s amazed he’s not getting second degree burns. The burn he is getting just makes him laugh, Barclay’s short, auburn beard scratching the inside of his thighs.

“Shit, Barclay, shit, try, try a little lower? Ohhhhhfuck.” A crinkle of fabric as he grips the tent floor, Barclay is making sounds unlike any partner he’s ever had, grunting and moaning as forces more of him against his mouth. It’s all hot breath and grazing teeth and need, something Joseph is seldom the target of. He closes his eyes, let’s himself relax into a slow, steady roll of his hips against Barclay’s mouth.

There’s a rhythmic, frantic whss of fabric behind him, moaning from beneath. He flicks sweat from his eyes as he glances over his shoulder; Barclay isn’t even bothering to get his shorts off, is jerking his impressive cock as his lips close around Joseph’s own.

“Did, did you get that hard just from this?”

“Mmmhmm” Barclay looks up with wild, delighted eyes.

“Christ” he giggles, runs a hand through his hair as his orgasm circles closer, “didn’t think my dick being wet would be all it took.”

“Mmmph!” There’s a jolt of movement that signals Barclay cumming, a groaning growl buzzing up his dick just long enough to set his nerves dancing and draw his orgasm over the brink.

His words are gone, stay that way as Barclay eases him backwards and scoots so he can sit up. All he wants to do is hunker down in this tent and go at it until they pass out.

“Joseph? Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m incredible.”

“I’ll say” Barclay pulls him into his arms, “guess we oughta get clean and get a move on, huh.”

“As much as I hate to say it, yes. I really can’t waste this chance.”

Barclay pecks his lips, “Okay. Uh, can I borrow some shorts? I only brought one other pair.”

Twenty minutes later, Joseph is learning just how distracting another human being can be when your clothes are stretched around their thick thighs and they’ve taken their shirt off to combat the heat. Lord, if he were not on a mission he’d fuck Barclay’s imprint into the shore.

Speaking of his mission, while they don’t find bigfoot, Joseph does find some promising footprints and some fur he can’t identify. By the time they trek back to camp, their dinner is well-deserved and very appreciated. When Barclay asks if he wants dessert, Joseph simply grins.

“Not out here I don’t.”

They take only the needed time to get food out of bear range before clambering into the tent, Joseph opting to switch on the battery powered lantern as Barclay tosses his clothes away. He let’s the cook guide his shirt off, revels in the way his eyes roam over him like he’s seeing the Sistine Chapel. He lowers his head, zig-zagging kisses down his neck and chest.

“Should I avoid these?” Barclay’s mouth hovers over the scar on his left side. They’re only a year old, look newer, and something eager and hopeful peers out from Joseph’s heart at Barclay’s consideration of them.

“No, they don’t hurt. They don’t really feel like much.”

Barclay places a kiss on each, continues his descent until he’s at Joseph’s hips, nosing just above his pubic hair with happy sighs.

“I really, really wanna fuck you.”

“Condoms are in my bag, the side pouch.”

“Okay if it’s here?” He lightly teases a thumb below Joseph’s dick.

“Shit, yes” he bucks his hips, “I repeat: Condoms are in my bag and if you don’t get them now I’ll just fuck myself instead.”

“Heh, someone gets demanding when he’s raring to go.” He kisses his hip before rolling and crawling to grab the condom. When he rolls it down, Joseph sees his dick is an unremarkable length but thick enough that he spreads his legs a little wider as Barclay crawls between them.

“Fuck” Barclay groans as he pushes in, Joseph hooking his legs around him as he slowly thrusts, “fuck, baby, that good?”

“Better than, jesus Barclay you should sell rides on this thing, you’d make a million.”

“Don’t want a million, just want you.”

Joseph blushes, moans when he finds opening his legs doesn’t diminish how stuffed he feels.

“You like being full, blue eyes?”

“Yes, AHhhhn, that’s it big guy, show me how you like it.” He pulls Barclay down for a kiss as his hips speed up, arches his back as strong arms wrap around him. It’s bliss, heaven in the summer heat, and he closes his eyes to better enjoy it, smiling as Barclay comes in for another kiss, growling until Joseph parts his lips and let’s his tongue slip between them.

Something scratches his back, probably just an odd angle of the sleeping bag. Then whatever it is catches between him and the ground and his whole world changes. The cock inside him thickens and lengthens, the skin pressed to his sprouts fur, and teeth his tongue brushes against are sharp.

“Shit!” He yelps at the same time Barclay freezes with a quiet, “fuck.”

“Explain. Now” Joseph orders as Barclay sits up slightly.

“I’m, uh, I’m bigfoot. Or, uh, one of them. But, uh, maybe that was obvious?”

“Not until this moment, no.” He suspects the same surprise that keeps him from pulling back is keeping Barclay from pulling out, a fact that is rapidly becoming an issue thanks to his body's enjoyment of the thought of being a monster's plaything.

“I’m, I’m so sorry Joseph, I never wanted you to find out this way, fuck, I shoulda known that bracelet was wearing out. I, uh, I guess this trip is a success? Now if anyone asks you can say you found bigfoot? But, uh, please don’t tell anyone it was me?”

He whacks his hands onto his face, “Barclay, I can’t do that. I’m not just looking for you for fun. I’m an undercover agent.”

“A what?” Barclay’s voice climbs an octave.

“An FBI agent!” He whips his hands away, “I’m supposed to find out what happened in a string of disappearances that tack to recent bigfoot sightings, and now I have to go and, and-” he freezes as Barclay starts growling, looming back over him, “and I should have waited until I was safe to tell you thaAAAAAAtAH, fuck, shit, ohlord, ohmygod.” He tears at the tent as Barclay lifts his hips off the ground and hammers into him, “fuck, oh fuck, OhohOHchris!” His feet kick out uselessly as what he thought was the base of Barclay’s cock pushes into him. The stretch is tremendous, the pleasure more so, and the confusion dwarfs them both.

“There” Barclay grits his teeth, “now you can’t go anywhere.”

“What the hell did you do?!” Joseph tries to scramble back only to find he’s stuck.

“Knotted you. Not my best plan but you said you were gonna tell someone!”

“Not right this second!” Joseph notices the grimace on Barclay’s face deepen, “does it hurt you?”

“Negative, just, just trying not to cum because that seems inappropriate right now.”

“How long are we stuck like this?” His curiosity is getting the better of him, just like always.

“Until I...cum enough for it to go down. Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry, I panicked okay?”

Joseph crosses his arms, “well, since we’re stuck like this, I think you have time to answer some questions.”

Barclay sighs, defeated, “I can’t tell you everything, not tonight. But what I can tell you is that the reason for that pattern is, uh, if a sighting goes to public, or is too easily tracked to a human disguise, the cryptid who got spotted has to change their appearance. Which makes it look like someone disappeared.”

He meets the cooks eyes, studies his face; he doesn’t seem to be lying. In fact, he almost seems relieved.

“It’s so easy to explain in some ways and it opens up so, so many hard things at the same time.”

“Thank you for telling me. Even if it’s the worst possible time and place. I, well, I still have questions but” Joseph sets a hand on the back of Barclay’s neck, “I also want to finish being with my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” It comes out as a yip.

“I’m not leaving Kepler any time soon. And I’m just crazy about you Barclay, bigfoot or no.”

Cautiously, Barclay leans down to kiss him. Joseph runs his fingers along his back, finds the hair softer than anticipated.

“Guess now I can say I smelled how turned on you were when we got here, and how turned on you’ve been all night. Blowing you earlier was fucking incredible because you were just flooding my brain with all these signs that you wanted me. That’s, uh, that’s why the knot happened at all. My body’s found someone it thinks wants me to stay.”

“I do.” Joseph kisses him again, gasps when the cock inside him thrusts gently, “shit, that feels so strange. So perfect.”

Barclay seems to blush under his fur, “Can I go faster? Promise I’ll stop if it hurts too much, just, just wanna make you feel good.”

Claws daintily pet his sides as he nods. Then there’s a deeper growl and he can’t help but scream, rough and sharp, as Barclay fucks into him with shallow jerks of his hips, the swell of the knot managing to press on his dick while the rest of his cock hits spots inside him no partner ever bothered to try and find.

“That’s it baby, lemme hear you, wanna know just how much you like it, fuck, oh fuck, you like being full, blue eyes, then, fuck, lemme fill you. Fuck, Joseph”

“Ohgod” cum pulses into him and he whimpers, desperate for release of his own. Barclay notices, rolls them so Joseph is on top, all his FBI physical training going into maintaining the half-splits needed to straddle him.

“Got at least one more before I can pull out, and I wanna feel you cum.” The pad on one finger finds Joseph’s dick and rubs, “fuuuuuck, fucking-A I almost came again just from you tightening.”

“Barclay, please” he tangles his fingers into the fur of his chest, “please I’m so close.”

“Here, I’ve got an idea” He pulls Joseph so he’s hunched forward, kissing him messily as his claws dig into his hips to bounce him on his cock. Joseph moans, gives up on supporting himself and smiles when Barclay takes his weight without hesitation. He nestles his head under the cryptids chin, burying pleas in his fur as he speeds up. The angle and the force of Barclays movements mean his dick catches on thick fur and the warm belly beneath it, and as his grinds desperately he realizes he’s cumming. Then his cry of pleasure is drowned out by a howlgrowlpurr as Barclay empties into him, the pressure so intense he whimpers, unsure how much more his body will hold. Then the cock inside him slips free, cum spilling down his legs in it’s wake.

“Hrmph” Barclay rumbles, holding him close, “shoulda brought something to keep it in; make you spend all night with my cum in you so no one else gets any ideas.”

Joseph, sleep clinging to most of his brain, looks up, “wait, does that mean there are other bigfoots in the area who might?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh”

Joseph laughs to himself, shaking his head; tonight raises so many questions, dozens of things to investigate, and yet only one query matters to him right now.

“You really want to be my guy?”

A furry hand pets his face and Barclay murmurs, with a sweetness Joseph’s never before heard, “of course, baby.”

#sternclay #agent stern/ barclay #taz amnesty #reader requests #terato #monster boyfriend

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 4 years ago

Text

I can hear you pt. 4 (Alice Macray x fem!reader)

hiya..its kinda short and i'm sorry! But the next part will be longer.. :) requests are always open!

here is pt. 3

google translate :7

"Don't look at me like that, Gloria .. You knew that would happen at some point ...", Y / N said and crossed her arms over her chest

"Just because I knew it would happen at some point, it doesn't mean that I am not allowd to be upset about it ..", Gloria replied, who was sitting across from Y / N at her desk.

Gloria and Y / N had been having this conversation for about 10 minutes.

Y / N had always wanted to write a book about educational science in which she wanted to compare the education of supporters of emancipation and those of their opponents. After all, she had studied that. She wanted to write this book as impartially as possible, which is why she decided to travel to St. Louis to interview families.

Since the Houston event had been about a month ago, Y / N assumed now was a good time to start her book.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"It's only been a couple of months, that's how long Debbie can help you with everything ... After that I'll come back and everything will be the same as it was before."

"What if your book turns out well and you don't need this job anymore?" Gloria asked, chewing her lower lip.

Y / N let out a laugh at her words.

"Shouldn't we be happy for me then?"

Gloria sighed before she leaned back over the document she'd edited a few minutes ago.

"You know, I want you to achieve your goals, Y / N and I wish you the best of luck with this, but you will be missing here .." she said without looking at Y / N.

"So do you agree?" Asked Y / N.

"God, of course I agree .."

Y / N squealed.

"Damn, thank you Gloria .. You don't know how bad it would have been to leave here knowing that you're mad at me .."

---------------------------------

Two weeks later, Y / N was tired on the bike to the supermarket.

She had been in St. Louis for a week and had started getting used to the new surroundings.

An old friend from Y / N lived here; she had gone to study in France for a year and had been kind enough to let Y / N keep her apartment.

Y / N had everything she needed to start the interviews. She had spent the last night narrowing down all of her questions to 10 questions she wanted to ask the families. She had bought a recording device from her exasperations to record the interviews so that she did not have to take notes. Last but not least, it was clothes that Y / N had bought. She was no longer Glorias Steinem's assistant, she was a journalist, author, ... people's attention would be drawn to her and she couldn't allow herself to look like an assistant for that.

There was one little problem though, she hadn't found anyone to interview yet. She just had no idea how to get hold of the people here.

She rode her bike into the terrain of the supermarket and tied it to a fence. Actually, she had absolutely no desire to go shopping.

Tired, she trudged through the crowded shopping mall with her shopping cart.

She yawned. She tried hard to decipher her own writing as she stared at the shopping list.

Y/N didn't pay any attention to where she was going with her shopping cart until she met resistance.

"M'sorry .." she muttered and turned the shopping cart without looking up from her slip of paper.

"Y / N ??" asked a suddenly loud voice behind her, making Y / N flinch at the volume.

"Yes ..?", Y / N asked confused and turned around. She froze when she saw who the voice belonged to.

"Alice !?"

She blinked, was she so tired that she was already starting to hallucinate?

The woman in front of her smiled shyly.

"I didn't even know you lived in St. Louis .." remarked Y / N.

"Well .." said Alice.

"I don't think you know anything about me in general, except my name."

Y / N snorted at her comment, actually she was right.

"Nice costume .." she muttered, staring down at the fabric.

Alice blushed.

"I just got back from work..I didn't have time to-"

"Youre working?" Y / N uttered confused and made Alice smile in embarrassment.

"You seem surprised .." she said.

"No .. i mean yes.. I just wouldn't have assessed you that way .."

"Well ... I wouldn't have assessed you as someone who lived in St. Louis either ..."

"Oh, I don't live here," Y / N said as she folded the shopping list and put it in her pocket.

"I'm in St. Louis for work ...". Y / N suppressed another yawn and watched the woman in front of her frown.

"What are you working on?"

"You know, I'm Gloria Steinem's spy, and now I'm here on behalf of the E.R.A. To spy on Phyllis Schlafly and then I sneak inall of you to make an ambush..but pshht .. "Y / N said, thinking it was funny, but when she saw that Alice wasn't quite sure whether to believe her or not, she quickly corrected herself.

"No..so it's complicated..I usually work as Gloria's assistant..But actually, I studied educational science and I always wanted to write a book..And after the events in Houston, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity ... "

"And why do you have to go to St. Louis to write a book?" Alice was still confused.

"I have to interview people for that .. as I said, it's a bit complicated .." Y / N added and Alice nodded slowly.

"And what's your job?"

"Oh..I work for the phone company."

"Sounds great .." Y / N muttered.

For a moment, the two women just stared at each other in silence. It was weird to see this woman again. In her mind, Y / N called up the picture of Alice stumbling into the gay lounge and Y / N wondered if it was somehow fate or something cheesy, even though she didn't believe in such shit.

"French tea .." she suddenly uttered.

"Please what?" Alice frowned again.

"I have french tea at home .. it's really good .."

Alice didn't answer and still looked at her in confusion.

"Uhm..do you drink tea? You know, the tea is really delicious and I was just wondering if you would maybe drink it with me? .. Well, I could tell you about my book if you like .." , Y / N looked nervously at Alice and saw that the woman in front of her was beaming.

"I would love that Y / N .."

#alice macray x reader #alice macray #sarah paulson x reader #mrs america

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tasloveskk · 4 years ago

Text

Some folklore thoughts 💭🌲✨🏳️‍🌈

Part 1

I’m going to take it song by song while also tracking key themes in red! Please also feel free to add in your thoughts in the comments, I’m curious to see what else people think folklore is about...

folklore

‘folklore’ is defined as “a body of popular myths or beliefs relating to a particular place, activity, or group of people.” or, by Steve from Taylor’s IC,”the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.” Taylor herself in her introduction/prologue says “A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”

the 1

- firstly, it’s the best opening track she’s ever had! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

- “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit” = sounds to me like a conversation you have with an ex, like someone is saying “yeah I’m doing great, I’m dating/doing ‘x’” the first time they run into their ex in a while.

-“I thought I saw you at the bus stop” has BIG “this city screams your name” energy but is also very clever by Taylor because Miss Karlie Kloss is ALWAYS on advertisements on bus stops/literal buses around the globe 🚌

- “I hit the Sunday matinee” to me seems like an inside thing, because obviously as the world biggest pop star, if taylor is going to go to the theatre or cinema, she’ll pick the least busy and most filled with older people which would be the Sunday matinee.

- “you know the greatest films of all time were never made” —> the greatest love stories never get told? happen behind the scenes? There’s something deeper here but I’m still forming the cohesive idea!

- “if you wanted me you really should’ve showed” = showed up or showed for the world, either way Taylor wanted KK to chose her not Josh so they could work but that didn’t happen so now she’s left to wonder.

- “roaring twenties” evokes two clear images for me! 1. They were both in their 20s for the entiretyof their relationship, the best years were spent together and 2. The Roaring 20s were a time of independence, pushing boundaries and breaking the rules of prohibition - which is basically what Taylor and Karlie were doing behind the scenes.

- “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you” = let’s say, ONLY FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE, that Taylor really IS with Toe, that still means that this song is her yearning for someone else who she always loves more AND had to lose at some point. Looking at her past beards “relationships”, there are only two plausible options - Joe (which seems unlikely seeing as they’re still “together”) or CH who she supposedly wrote “you would’ve been the one if you were a better man” about. Either way doesn’t seem like it fits. However, if you look at it as Karlie is the 1, it becomes clear - it would’ve been fun being best friends and lovers for ever baking cookies and dancing around the kitchen, it would’ve been forever if Karlie hadn’t “married” jerk, it would’ve been her and it still is. 💗

- “in my defense I have none, for never leaving well enough alone” & “I know that I went psycho on the phone, I never leave well enough alone” are about the same moment with the same person = she didn’t leave well enough alone because she kept writing about Karlie and re-engaging us Kaylors as well as I’m sure, she kept up with seeing Karlie or keeping tabs on her to the point where it forced someone to reach out to the other.... she can’t apologise or defend her actions because you can’t explain the things you do for true love.

- “I have this dream you’re doing cool shit” aka starting a podcast, expanding businesses, making headway as an entrepreneur and being a highly-paid and respected international model? Seems straight forward 👀

- “you meet some woman on the Internet and take her home” = 1. Karlie is specifically interested in tech and the internet, it is literally her entire business and 2. if Karlie and Tay did break up, then because Karlie is actually NOT married to Josh, she hooked up with someone she met through the internet somehow (probs social media not an app) and Taylor found out this is probably a snarky comment about that from a jealous ex. Could possibly also be about the dream mentioned above. 💔🔐

- “another day waking up alone” = lost her lover, sleeps alone? Bold claim on opening tack.

- “persist and resist” = very famous feminist saying, civil rights/political echo?

- “the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today” = this what if mentality continues through the album but personally, I think this is about Kissgate.

- “Rosé flowing with your chosen family” = repeats later, your chosen family could refer to Karlie’s group of friends like Derek and Jourdan etc.

- “would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me” = flipped perspective, wishes Karlie chose her.

- “dragging up the grave another time” = firstly, THAT pin on her EW jacket now makes more sense. second, Taylor has written about Karlie for 4 straight albums now, she hasn’t let their love story die even if they did.

cardigan

- “brand new phone” = this is not some story, this is current reality. Taylor hides behind era-specific language and imagery in some other songs but this one is clearly about here and now, and her.

- “sensual politics” to me stands out because only really here and in TLGAD is politics explicitly mentioned and sensual politics to me screams sleeping with someone for political gain or with political connections which certainly sounds like someone...

- “when you’re young, they assume you know nothing” = sounds to me like a lot like a) love story and b) “you don’t know you’re gay, it’s just a PHASE! you’ll grow out of it!” 🏳️‍🌈

- “chase 2 girls, lose the one” = supposedly, when KK and TS met, Taylor was still in love/entangled with Dianna so perhaps she’s reflecting on making the wrong choice?

- CIWYW links: my baby’s high above the whole scene—> heartbeat on the high line, tidbit:as is clear in both Lover & 1989 New York is a sacred place for TS and KK’s love story, the high line is a) a beautiful NYC icon and b) right in between the girls’ two places...

- as mentioned, miss Karlie ELIZABETH Kloss was the brand model for Levi’s and definitely has worn some sequins and black lipstick on cobblestones sooooo.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

- “you drew stars around my scars” = see Drake’s birthday party and the infamous third Polaroid mystery 👀

- “stepping on the last train” could mean one of two things to me; 1. The last resort for KK was marrying J*sh or 2. the last train could represent some goodbye the girls had where KK chose something/someone else over Taylor.

- “peter losing Wendy” is such an interesting metaphor on so many levels but specifically, Wendy loses Peter because she wakes up (from nearly dying but nvm) and grows up and stops believing in Neverland and magic, basically Wendy loses an attachment to Peter because her reality shifts and that’s what gets remembered especially in the Disney version of the story. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true meaning Peter Pan loses Wendy because he can never co-exist with her again, he can never grow up or bring her back to Neverland without either killing her or ruining her. So this idea that someone wanted to change the ending from peter losing Wendy because he had to do what was best for her because he loved her echoes as Karlie didn’t want to marry Jerk or hurt Taylor but had to in order to protect her. Right? 😅

- “leaving like a father, running like water” = Taylor’s parents got divorced and there’s SOME thoughts Scott left the house and Taylor lives with her Mom in Nashville in her teen years.

- “I knew everything when I was young” - Taylor has always know she was LGBT+ 🌈 and also, baby VSFS vibes because as we all know, “we were both young when I first saw you...” send tweet.

- “I knew you’d come back to me” hopefully, HOPEFULLY foreshadows the girls being together/coming out soon !!!!!!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

- music video wise, I’ll do a break down soon.

TLGAD

- ‘Rebekkah’ refers to the previous owner of Taylor’s Watch Hill, RI house, Rebekah Harkness. She was a divorcee until marrying Standard Oil heir William (aka Bill) Hale Harkness, a new-money dynasty was formed in this time from their profit. There are MANY wild, whimsical stories about ‘Betty’ (which is obviously an extended metaphor of folklore) that this song tries to re-create/recapture.

- Taylor is also known as ‘Becky’ due to the popular meme so this is quite literally a play on her own character as well as the previous inhabitants of the house.

- St Louis is not only Rebekkah’s hometown, but also Karlie Elizabeth Kloss’.

- “the wedding was charming, if a little gouche” seems like a direct shot fired at Karlie’s woodsy photoshoot of 2018 😂😂(ironically, folklore’s key aesthetic is the woods!!)

- “it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out” refers explicitly to William dying of a heart attack in the house, but subtly I feel like this is a dig at the media who constantly blame women for things they cannot control, as they have done with Taylor too many times to even count.

- “who knows if she never showed up, what could’ve been” seems like Taylor is stuck thinking about what may have happened for her and Karlie if things had been different, see the 1.

- “she/I had a marvellous time ruining everything” is such an incredibly provoking lyric on two fronts, 1. obviously taylor buying her RI house had a massive impact on an otherwise sleepy holiday town that is now more famous for Taylor’s july 4 parties than anything else and 2. seems introspective or personal, as if the things that ruined everything for Karlie and Taylor were the best and most marvellous parts of their relationship (big sur, kissgate etc.)

- “flew in all her bitch pack friends from the city” is not only about the friends and celebs Rebekkah was notorious for hosting but also Taylor’s ‘bitches and model’ girl gang circa 2015 which includes one Karlie Kloss.

- “blew through the money on the boys and the ballet” refers to Rebekkah’s love of wasting her fortune on things, including a ballet company that went under not long after she created it BUT also refers to Taylor paying so many boys to be her beards and PR stunts whilst also spending her money on a certain ex-Ballerina. Also remember her AMA’s performance of Lover/ bts of Shake It Off? 😉😉😉

- “50 years is a long time” - 50 seems deliberate, a bit of a reach but note it WAS the 50th anniversary of Stonewall last year. 🏳️‍🌈

- “free of women with madness, their men and bad habits and THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME.” - this clearly shows that ALL the songs are being narrated by Taylor, some of the lyrics are about her, some are about these fictional or fantastical characters she’s created but there is her truth behind all of them too.

- “the loudest woman this town has ever seen” = Taylor is undoubtedly the most famous woman in the town who regualrly causes uproar there (see the Sea Wall debacle and the Taylor Swift Tax)

- in all, the two famed women owner’s of Holiday House have many overlaps and are forever intertwined.

exile

- “i can see you standing honey with his arms around your body” as the opening line is LOUD. to me, feels like this is about ALL those staged photos of Josh and Karlie uncomfortable/fake as hell on social media.

- “laughing but the joke’s not funny at all” is something we’ve all thought about Karlie’s marriage before and is about that moment where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry at the situation.

- “it took you 5 whole minutes to pack up ... holding all this love out here in the hall” to me is about someone moving out of a shared home, like Karlie from Taylor’s NYC apartment, after a break up or fight. We know it is MORE than likely that the girls’ broke up, for a while or for good, in 2017/18.

- “I think I’ve seen this film before, and didn’t like the ending” is a lot like “Cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you” / “All of my heroes die all alone.” which makes me truly believe that delicate > the archer > exile are all the progression of the same love story. ❤️

- “now I’m in exile seeing you out” = both of them have lost their home, exiled from the relationship.

- “I can see you staring honey, like he’s just your understudy” has a lot to unpack. Firstly, see this photo. Second, as a beard, Joe is quite literally Karlie’s understudy - stepping in only to fill a public void or play her part when she can’t.

- “like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me” is basically this tweet

- “second, third and hundredth chances” - hopefully this means the girls WILL be together again soon!!!

- “those eyes add insult to injury” - Taylor has often made explcit reference to her lover’s eyes, but this could also mean the eyes of the public on her every move and relationship not allowing her to properly grapple with break ups. 👁️

- “i’m not your problem anymore, so who am i offending?” - homophobes love to say wlw or mlm relationships “offend” them or their beliefs, so who could taylor be offending if she’s publicly in a straight relationship?

- “you were my crown”, Taylor was/is Karlie’s princess, if Karlie is gone, Taylor doesn’t feel like she’s a princess anymore. Likewise, Karlie is Taylor’s sunshine which makes the moody, misty, dark aesthetics all the more relevant to this album.

- “so I’m leaving out the side door’ - this side door? the other side of the door?

- “all of this time, we always walked a very thin line” between outing themselves and being happy?

- “I gave so many signs” - Taylor has queercoded EVERY album since her self-titled, she has been dropping hints and signs for years that she is LGBT+ so it must be exhausting to have to keep hiding who she loves. This is repeated so many times - it means a lot.

- written with William Bowery who nobody can quite identify, but Karlie and Taylor have been to the Bowery many times together and William is mentioned earlier in TLGAD

- this whole song is a duet, a two-sided conversation between lovers - her and karlie both without each other.

my tears ricochet

- Track 5 is, as per usual, deeply confessional, personal, emotive and moving. 😿😿

- there are lots of theories and layers to this masterpiece of a song, including that it’s in reference to big machine. I personally think every single song of Taylor’s is made up of layers that reflect multiple things in her life and experience so plausibly it can be about multiple things all at once including Sco** and Scumbag as well as Karlie, who was under Scumbag’s management for the majority of the decade. Another theory which with every new listen I think is more and more possible is that this is alternating between Taylor and Karlie’s perspectives.

- ‘if i’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too” whoever is associated with Taylor will ALWAYS be dragged down with her. If she’s being attacked, they will be too. Big 2016 energy.

- “even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?” could be directed at a lover, or at Big Machine, or even the public for all the shit they’ve said about Taylor over the years.

- “I swear I loved you ‘till my dying day” seems a lot like the 1, as well as could be about the music and the label she helped build.

- “I didn’t have it within myself to go with grace.” Taylor was LOUD about her split from Big Machine, she called them out (rightly) and made noise which is not a ‘graceful’ split.

- “you’re the hero flying around saving face” very easily is about S+S jackasses but deeper than that, while Taylor was under immense attack and criticism, everyone who actually like her music pretended suddenly to hate it and her to stay ‘cool’

- “cause if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” this lyric becomes especially important in the final verse but essentially those who publicly distanced themself from Taylor still showed up when she was thriving again and/or because they actually truly loved her *uhmm karlie uhmm*

- “cursing my name, wishing I stayed” either at Big Machine or with Karlie/Taylor.

- “some to make a diamond ring” > firstly we still have never understood the ring image from the LWYMMD and ME! videos, it is entirely possible this is a continuation of that same symbol/image. Second, I think this hints to Karlie getting ‘engaged’ while still being with Taylor, the rock for the ring in the song was found by the two people gathering stones after all.

- “you know i didn't want to have to haunt you” both Taylor and Karlie have big reputations all over the world that follow them everywhere. For either one, they will always be haunted by reminders of each other.

- “you wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” - on the Big Machine side, Taylor made the label professional and big, she is literally the sole reason it succeeded in the music industry so she handed Sco** his fortune and reputation which he still had when he sold her music to Scumbag and got into a very dirty bed with him. From the Karlie side, many people have noted that not only does she wear her black cartier necklace, which is assumed to be from Taylor, but to her ‘wedding’ wore a necklace she’d worn before with Taylor.

- “when I’d fight you’d tell me I was brave” could refer to Sco** encouraging her in 2016 to defend herself. Could refer to Karlie supporting her behind the scenes.

- ‘and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” seems like a continuation from exile, as in she’s lost the place she called home because her lover is no longer there but could also mean she can’t go back to her other albums and the house (see the lover music video) that they created as her musical home.

- “you will still miss me in your bones” could be about Sco** losing his money and label without her there to physically support and carry it or about the fact that the love Taylor and Karlie had is so ingrained it’s in their bones forever.

- “and i still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky” this lyric has a lot of possible interpretations (i’ve seen one about cursing out God?) but i think it’s similar to “asking the traffic lights if i’ll be alright” as in, it’s Taylor asking the universe to help her make sense of things.

- “when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies” suggests a) sco** + scumbag is still haunted by the music they stole from Taylor because it was literally the backbone of the business which is now practically worthless and b) that Karlie is kept awake by the songs Taylor has written for and about her over the years which again were stolen away by the jackasses at Big Machine.

- “you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” again, same idea - big machine will never be profitable without her/while they hold her masters hostage. BUT Karlie wise, breaking up with Taylor broke her too?

- this is where the song changes. it shifts from Taylor’s story to someone else’s, personally I think Karlie.

- “you turned into your worst fears” as in she settled for the money and sold her values off by marrying Josh. Also, Karlie was under Scumbag’s management for years (part of Taylor’s hatred of him was him keeping the girls’ from doing as they pleased) so by being completely controlled by him, she turned into this completely fake person. Contrast 2014/15 Karlie with 2017/18 Karlie and it so much more all about PR and money.

- “you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years” - sco** and scumbag have made so many false excuses for their behaviour and completely erased the good relationship between the Swifts and sco**. Not sure yet what the Karlie side is here but it’s here somewhere.

- in conclusion, this is about Big Machine and Karlie. As the first song Taylor wrote for the album, I think it’s clear just how incredibly multi-faceted this album is. ☕☕☕

mirrorball

- first off, we can never forget about this and this look from both girls. ✨✨

- “I’ll to show you every version of yourself tonight”, the public and the private sides to them both. this is big glass closet energy in my opinion

- “and when I break it’s in a million pieces” is so personal and heartbreaking. 2016 and Kaylor breakup vibes. I cannot elaborate at this time.

- “when no one is around my dear” = the secrecy, forbidden love motif returns and again, if she’s in a hetero relationship, what’s to hide?

- “you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes”, Just an fyi, Karlie, a giraffe, is 6′2″, Taylor is 5′10″ -- thats a big difference. 🦒🦒🦒

- “i know they said the end is near” = end of the relationship or the end of hiding it, either way, it’s a romantic last private moment together, swaying as the room burns down.

- “i can change everything about me to fit in” = Taylor when she was starting out was forced to create this all innocent, american-girl image of herself. She has had to hide herself to succeed, as she said in Miss Americana, she was muzzled.

- “you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers” = Karlie is different to everyone else, or any other ex, ‘masquerade’ implies masked or hidden figures at a party, very Love Story

- “and the called off the circus, burned the disco down” = the ‘circus’ could be the media/public, or all the illusions Taylor has cast in order to appear straight. The ‘disco’, and Taylor is the ‘mirror ball’ to her lover means that this isolated existence of just the two of them.

- “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything” for now, she’s still closeted, she’s still trying to have the best of everything.

- “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why” believer in everything working out perhaps, or perhaps believing it’s better if she’s in the closet and it’s only the two of them.

- “never been a natural” = she has completely created herself through years off trying to be what people want, not who she naturally is.

seven

- “picture me” implies this is retrospective of Taylor, she’s reflecting on her childhood/youth.

- “I hit my peak at Seven” could either refer to the age 7 or album 7, ‘Lover’ which many critics argued was her best work.

- “Over the creek I was too scared to jump in” = fear of jumping is something Taylor has discussed in many songs but this is different, the creek represents something she fears will drown her.

- “High in the sky with Pennsylvania under me” = obviously, Taylor was born and raised in rural PA, so this truly is a childhood memory unearthed and explored. It’s personal to Taylor, it’s her story. 👏🏼

- “Are there still beautiful things?” Recognizing the world isn’t all daisies and rainbows

- “cross your heart, don’t tell no other” = again, secret keeping and hiding something is a big queer image, ‘cross your heart’ is a quite childish phrase but it’s adult equivalent in Taylor’s world is an NDA, ie swearing people to secrecy is something she's always known... 🔐

- “Although i can’t recall your face, I still got love for you” = this childhood love has faded with time to memories, this girl simultaneously forgotten and remembered.

- “Your braids like a pattern” = definitely about a girl (1996 rural Pennsylvania was not the kind of place where boys had braids), specific use of YOUR pronoun not ‘my’ or ‘our’ suggesting again it’s about a girl. Very obviously about a first girl crush. 🌈

- “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” = firstly, reference to Neruda’s poem Taylor used in the red prologue. second, folksongs change slightly from generation to generation but the heart/melody remains the same meaning that in Taylor’s mind, the story of her first girl love has changed but it’s still the same song/story all the years later. also, clearly a reminder of the setting of the song and the album as a whole being folklore. 💛

- “your dad is always mad and that must be why” feels a lot like Love Story and forbidden love, also again rural Pennsylvania in the mid-1990s was not the most liberal place so I can imagine a lot of homophobic ideas that perforated Taylor’s childhood.

- “I think you should come live with me” is such an innocent image of someone in love and wanting to just fix things by bringing them home, it also is like a baby gay version of uhauling

- “we could be pirates” = pirates are not just a childhood image/motif but also one historically seen as gay, gangs of pirates often had ‘mateolage’ agreements that basically were like widow’s benefits. See John Swann. ☠️

- “you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet.” = I think this one is explicitly clear but just to be sure, Taylor could’ve said “hide when he lost it, hide if you wanted, hide in the woods too” etc. Read this for a full understanding of why it such a LOUD image to use. It is VERY DELIBERATE PEOPLE. 🌈🌈🌈

- “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” = different from the first bridge but deliberate again. Their story, aka Taylor liking girls from a young age will always be talked about, AND their love lives in this song she wrote.

- “picture me in the weeds before I learned civility” = again, given the homophobic attitude, ‘civility’ and straightness should be read as the same so Taylor is saying when she was a child, free in the grass and herself, she wants to always be.

- “I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted” = she wasn’t muzzled as a child, she could say and be who she wanted, screaming it aloud for everyone to hear but that changed as she grew up.

- “pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to India forever” = ‘dolls’ again would imply it’s two girls running away together and India is this exocitc far off place to a child, a place where they can be together without anyone knowing them or controlling them.

August

- Karlie Kloss is born in August. Karlie Kloss posted yesterday about being a Leo (an August born). August belongs to Karlie Kloss. 🦁♌

- “rust on your door” = image of something well-worn, perhaps someone who’s been here too a few times before?

- “whispers of are you sure?” = obviously there is the sexual connotation, but beyond that, what if it’s about Taylor and Karlie going public etc.

- “never have I ever before” = see above but also the game ‘never have I ever’ evokes youthfulness and sounds almost like a reminder of a fun night with friends.

- “I can see us lost in the memory” = implies they’re still together, losing themself in the memory together

- “I can see us twisted in bedsheets” = again, sexual imagery but also the intimacy of sharing a bed with the person you love after sex

- “Like a bottle of wine” = matures the song a bit, the youthfulness of earlier is now more adult. 21 is America’s drinking age, 20s were mentioned early etc. 🍷

- “Cause you were never mine” = the whole of Taylor and Karlie’s relationship, Karlie has publically been dating Josh so she was never solely Taylor’s.

- “Will you call when you’re back at school?” = Karlie attended NYU in 2015, the height of Kaylor.

- “back when we were still changing for the better” = instead of changing to adapt/survive or keep up appearances.

- “wanting was enough” = wanting Karlie without labels was enough, rather than having to go public etc. Many have said for a long time that Karlie and Taylor fought about coming out or not.

- “cancel plans in case you would call” = sounds like a very love-sick Taylor Swift thing to do. Also waiting on a lover’s call when they constantly are travelling like both Karlie and Taylor do makes sense. ☎️

- “so much for summer love” = cruel summer echo? Summer 2015 was again, peak Kaylor so this could be a specific reference to that period

- “Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said ‘get in the car’” another specific reference, comes up again later in Betty, clearly is something personal.

- “Back when I was still living for the hope of it all” = back as in the past when everything was happening, hope of it all being the hope they’d still end up together.

TO SUM UP PART 1:

BENEATH ALL FICTION OR MYTH IS FACT & FEELING. Taylor is no longer hiding. Yes, some of these songs are about stories and people not her but there is so much of herself and her own story layered in too. PAY ATTENTION!!! Obviously, these are just my opinions, I’m not Taylor so I cannot know exactly what these songs are about but I think, after years of analyzing her music, these images/themes and deliberate word choice are well-versed in this part of the fandom. It is entirely possible this is the beginning of Taylor’s full, public coming out journey.

I’ll be back with Part 2 tomorrow. Stay Tuned!

#ts8 #taylor swift #taylor swift gay #taylor swift karlie kloss #Kaylor #kaylor proof #gaylor swit #Gaylor #GAYLOR RISE #karlie kloss taylor swift #Karlie Kloss #karlie what you want #tasloveskk #folklore #folklore taylor swift

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floggingink · 4 years ago

Text

OH HERE WE GO LADIES IT’S RIVERDALE, CHAPTER EIGHTY: “Purgatorio”

I’m tuning in to be VERY entertained on the grounds that I missed almost the entirety of S4 and will not understand anything

we open with an incredible analogue comparing the football team to the Army, as men do construct rituals: football players get blown into the sky, etc., in a heartrending mash-up of Archie’s innocence + the American ideal/expectations/pipeline of masculinity

Archie Company is decked out appropriately to storm Hürtgen Forest

that art direction trope where a character’s hearing goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEE after an explosion……...delightful

the Vixens and friends cheering him on from the sidelines as if Archie can only process his unprocessable present through the lens of his past………...hits the spot

distressingly wood-based rifles for our purposes

Archie > Dawson: I don’t mind telling you I felt emotion upon Archie hoisting his war buddy over his shoulders to that quadruple-toned “Chivalric Archie Using His Strength for Good” tune, like when he broke his whole hand busting Cheryl out of Sweetwater River

WHEN HE SAW HIRAM LODGE, I’M TELLING YOU!

Hiram’s dragon-scale gloves? absolutely savory; he would

“Yonkers” is one of those New York place names I don’t totally buy is real (Poughkeepsie is another)

the sepia-toned light in this hospital room rings true judging by all the Captain America fanfiction I’ve read; I also like the mint-colored hand towels draped on Archie’s bedframe bought, one assumes, using the Department of Defense’s Kohl’s Cash

Archie made Sergeant, which is the best ranking for a fictional character: important enough that they can be a leader, get into trouble; low-profile enough that you don’t have to write them in the room making terrible decisions; probably won’t die immediately, as a Captain or Private might be

Fifth period is AP English: Archie reads A Farewell to Arms to Corporal Jackson, a WWI novel by Hemingway that Jug definitely turned him onto

Christ, Archie looks good in that on-leave jacket thing

I like Jackson’s subtle graph paper-print hospital gown

Gay?!: was Jackson in love with Archie? is he gonna bus to Riverdale once he’s off his pain meds? RAS, is that you in there?

God you know I love that haunted-ass Exorcist wooden bench bus light lighting

how long has the WW been relocated under Pop’s??? I do NOT know what happened to La Bonne Nuit

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Fangs’ hair? his Tony Stark glasses? the girls’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” Burmese pythons? Toni’s headdress and immaculate glossed lip?

Sixth period is Intro to Film: the only part of From Dusk till Dawn I’ve seen is Salma Hayek putting her toe in Quentin Tarantino’s mouth but judging from that I figure I’d like the rest

The female gaze: Jesus Sweet Pea still looks good

Toni’s stage is flanked by twin pillars of melting candles and I would like someone to track those down for my bathroom

if they lay one hand on Pop Tate…

Betty appears to be, on her own, running the FBI training course. Betty is such a freak

Betty’s FBI-appointed psychologist is “Dr. Starling,” wears a great yellow blouse; Betty eats what appears to be a mini-sized Milky Way

her blond FBI trainer-boyfriend (uh) Glen appears to be an unholy fusion of Jimmi Simpson and that one actor with brown hair and really sharp light eyes whose acting credits I can’t think of right now, you know who I’m talking about (not the guy from Vampire Diaries)

I quite like her patterned blouse and I hate his yellow (gold?!) and blue tie

Please protect Betty: obviously we stan the Silence of the Lambs shit even as it remains infuriating Bryan Fuller couldn’t get his hands in it

Betty’s cat’s crying was so disturbingly baby-like that I had to leave the room once I realized it was in fact a cat

I’ve watched the Elisa Lam tape too many times in recent hours to handle this hallway shot

REALLY GROSS LICKING NOISES

the Trash Bag Killer coming at her was scary :(

Betty’s lovely blue knit cardi with the puffed sleeves!

50 Shades of Betty: clearing her throat before the doctor quite finishes her sentence—Lili Reinhart continues to be great at conveying “slightly perturbing subterranean tension”

was Charles a serial killer too??? oh damn!

Betty has been successfully holding off giving Glen a key to her place until now, an era that must come to a close

fellas, “Do I at least get a kiss?” is a bad move

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s new digs: exposed brick, bougiely avant-garde chandelier; possibly an elevator door right there behind the dude?

Veronica has married Hiram, to no one’s surprise

Chadwick looks like Jimmi Simpson and brunet Evan Peters plus a jaw

Veronica’s single-puffled-sleeved gown…..madamn (she has absolutely been taking secret birth control pills)

Summer + Blair = Veronica: of course Veronica would be great at Howard Ratner’s job; I MUST know what “specialty showcase haute couture offense” Vinnie has committed

T-Dubbs’ green jacket

Veronica pretended she was working at like, a department store? but she MISSED the EDGE post-day-trading

their apartment is so expensive that their bedroom is totally exposed

oh my god, Hermione

Best costume bit: please get me these satiny green high-waisted slacks?! and ugh her blouse has shoulder tassels……..she’s flourishing

“That’s threatening to an alpha like Chad.”

yes, they have a private elevator. fine.

Glen and Chad get their ties from the same Men’s Warehouse

“When that helicopter went down on the way to Martha’s Vineyard…”

you know kissing is 4-real when one person cups their hand to the back of the other person’s neck all close

I don’t understand the drop of the Glamergé egg but I appreciate that there is one and that Veronica is like, get this the fuck out of my house

Veronica’s shiny cropped tweed two-piece, Yvonne’s weird feathery coat that matches her bf’s shirt (you know she’s supposed to be “too much” because she’s got big hoop earrings)

God, Jughead is next and I’m not gonna be able to handle it

OH GOD IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT

Alphabet City?! the piano?? the fucking East Coast Beat typewriter shit—the day robe? I’m—READING CLUBMASTERS? FORSYTHE???

OH GOD HE’S DATING ANOTHER WRITER (she has nice pants)

Jughead eats: “that place you like” is a HOT DOG STAND in the middle of SOME GRASS

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead wears high-ankle light blue jeans, grey socks, and spectators that blend to create the illusion of wading boots. I’m going to commit a crime

Jughead doubts it: “So did Kerouac. And Hemingway. And Fitzgerald.”

fuck yes I love Floundering Jughead, and his Pushy Agent who pronounces “career” like “Korea,” and the continuing tradition of Jughead getting kicked out of his house

I like Literary Grifter’s sweater

the Brat Pack, and most of the Rat Pack for that matter, were actors, but I assume RAS couldn’t resist the rhyme

I was 100% afraid we were about to learn Cora was an uncomfortably-young undergrad

the musical cue as she reaches into her bag is absolutely as if she’s taking out a gun, and it might as well be! it’s the scariest thing in NYC: an unpublished manuscript

showrunners doing a classic I Love Lucy job partially concealing Vanessa Morgan’s pregnancy via medium close-ups, draping black clothes

Cheryl slowly turning to ask if doesn’t she look okay 10/10 icon

Cheryl’s pins: she has either a tiny spider or maybe a tick

Cheryl’s sheaths: the lacy red thing, amazing

why is Cheryl’s left hand gloved?

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl’s going to forge a Rembrandt, which unfortunately means she’s my favorite person on the planet (she does not look happy about doing this)

btw is Nana Rose an Immortal?

please tell me about Toni’s eyelashes

EXTREMELY HAUNTED DOLL?!

“Damn good coffee”: Archie’s earnest “Where are people gonna sit for the bus?” slayed me

fuck YEAH Ghoulies party house! terrible music but really good skull spray paint art

Jug looks LOW lol

Veronica’s blouse + buttons, impeccable

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Tabitha/Squeaky

the hellscape semi’s red backlighting and its skeleton’s red eyes

I like Linette’s glossy bomber!

the trucker who’s about to kill her can’t also be the Trash Bag Killer….truckers have to stick to too much of a schedule….but he could be Betty’s meandering serial

I loved this episode

NEXT WEEK: Archie brings the FBI down on some people paying their rent :(

#riverdale #i say #commentary #tropes

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moku-youbi · 4 years ago

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Alright Untamed fandom, where do I submit and/or beg for my fic ideas?

I DESPERATELY need a Leverage AU for this fandom (and for Word of Honor, too, but that’s going to be a separate post), you GUYS!?! Tell me you can’t see this:

Lan Zhan in the role of Nate--maybe as a detective of some fashion instead of insurance investigation. Or maybe he works as head of security for his very wealthy family. And for a while he’s so sure that he’s doing the Right and Honorable and Just thing, hunting down these criminals. And he’s got some serious angst over his friend Wei Ying who was head of security for the Jiang until he stole some huge corporate secret and sold it to their competitors before disappearing into the criminal underworld. And Lan Zhan’s seen him over the next few years, only very briefly, when their paths cross from opposite sides of a heist and Wei Ying says he’s been framed, but no matter how often Lan Zhan tries to convince him to come home and set things right and face punishment. Because even if he hadn’t done the original crime, he’s clearly doing crime (and being gay, but that is neither here nor there) and he has to take responsibility and Wei Ying’s like no thanks, bro. So then Lan Zhan finds out something that sort of shakes him to the core, like maybe some sketchy things his own family have done, or that they were in on framing Wei Ying along with the Jin, whatever, not sure on the details. But he quits and starts having guilt over the fact that he just assumed the worst about Wei Ying, and also, all these awful things that Wei Ying has done since? Are him trying to clean up messes made by the Wen and Jin and Lan.

After some soul searching, Lan Zhan starts digging into all the shit that these major corporations have been up to, and starts identifying the people who’ve been hurt by them and have been fighting back on their own, and decides to bring them all together. There’s:

* Meng Yao (fucked over by his father and out for revenge on the whole wide world, and who would be the perfect confidence man, lbr and very brainy, yes, but no where on the level of...) * Nie Huaisang (hacker extraordinaire, able to get any information on anyone or anything in basically 10 seconds or less, and able to use that to manipulate every scenario perfectly to his whims--he doesn’t NEED to steal, you’ll give him exactly what he wants without you even realising it...look, he doesn’t need to be doing this, but he is pissed over what happened with Wei Ying and the Wen are constantly flexing on his brother, and also, it’s fun!) * Wen Ning (who to everyone’s astonishment is the best hitter in the game, started helping Wei Ying shortly after his fall from grace, has issues galore with basically every sect, but he’s really only in this for his family and Wei Ying) * Wen Qing (who comes part and parcel with WN and WY because these assholes always end up needing to be patched up, and also, need a voice of sanity and reason) * Xue Yang (who just likes shiny things and fucking shit up and bewilders everyone over the fact that he can steal, like, anything and has warehouses full of treasure, but just squats in a ramshackle abandoned building and spends all his money on candy and baked goods) * A-Qing (who is Xue Yang’s thief and con-woman in training, and who will mercilessly use her youth and anonymity with the main companies to bleed them fucking dry)

And Lan Zhan can’t get ahold of Wei Ying at first, but after the team’s first job, oh you better fucking believe Wei Ying is interested now! (okay, he was interested as soon as Lan Zhan spoke to the Wen siblings, but he was waiting to see how things fell out and if this was some sort of trap that he’d need to spring them from). They’re in the middle of some elaborate heist and it’s all about to fall apart, and Lan Zhan is as close to freaking out as someone like Lan Zhan can be, and Wei Ying just strolls in and saves the day with his devastating smile.

So the gang saves the day and makes the bad guys pay, and then they decide you know, there are a lot more assholes out there pulling things like this, and we’re really good at screwing them over.

I just want all the found-family feels, and the reconciliation, and the romance. How Yanli finds ways to send care packages to Wei Ying through Huaisang and trying to let him know she believes in him no matter what. And someday after the initial confrontation with the Jin/Wen/Lan, just stopping by the team’s headquarters on the regular to feed them when they’re so busy planning they forget to take care of themselves. The eventual confrontation of Wei Ying and Lan Zhan with their respective brothers and adoptive parents/uncle. Meng Yao getting the love and recognition he deserves after his father is arrested. The crew picking up new members here and there, like XXC and SL who are some sort of law enforcement, and...not so sure about this at first, but eventually end up looking the other way (and maybe adopting A-Qing and inexplicably becoming enamored of Xue Yang). Wei Ying and Lan Zhan rescuing A-Yuan at some point when taking on the Wen, and him being raised by his two dads and the craziest and most loving group of Aunties and Uncles.

Some of them go more ~legit after things fall out. Like Meng Yao is way more appropriate to run the Jin than his brother, and they both know it. And Huaisang has to keep an air of respectability about himself, and Wen Qing is a legit doctor, okay...but they still help out on the regular.

Look, I would write this myself, I WOULD. Except 1.) I know no where NEAR enough about Chinese culture to do it justice, and 2.) ever since I started my ADHD meds I’ve been...incapable of writing? (which goes hand in hand with 2 actually, because researching feels daunting). So *hands* someone make it a thing??

#the untamed #leverage #head canon #modern au #wangxian

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yourneighborhooddisaster · 4 years ago

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kings of unconventional (part one) VIRGIL

This is the first part of my DLAMP soulmate AU ft. aro soulmates Remy and Remus. The first chapter is from Virgil’s POV (still third person tho, don’t worry).

Warnings: swearing, mentions of arophobia and homophobia, Remy has an asshole dad, mentions of alcohol, this story will have mentions of nsfw stuff but no direct sex.

Tagging: @emiisanxious @genderfluidmoma @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @penguins-penguins Hopefully that’s everyone. Please ask to be tagged in the upcoming parts. I would be honored! And I love reblogs, comments, and constructive critcism. Fic under the cut.

VIRGIL flopped down on the couch with a sigh. Today had been a long day. It was some sort of sick joke the universe played on him, making the guy with extreme social anxiety the one with four soulmates. He was so tired of people he sometimes was glad he hadn’t met his soulmates, but he knew they would be different. They also couldn’t make fun of him because they were stuck with it too. Roman, Logan, Patton, and Janus, the list on his arm read. They were all in neat black print, for now. Virgil knew someone who met their soulmate in middle school, the writing changing immediately to grey lopsided chicken scratch. He at least hoped his soulmates would have legible handwriting.

“Sup gurl!” Remy strutted into the living room like he owned it; to be fair, he technically did. Handing Virgil a coffee so black it practically poisoned you, he sipped his own drink, not bothering to take off his sunglasses. They were the fancy kind that adjusted to different amounts of light, so Remy basically never took them off. Virgil mumbled his gratitude before chugging half his coffee, glad to feel the jolt to his system. “How was work?”

“Like usual. Shit.” Virgil didn’t even have to look up at his roommate leaning over the edge of the couch to know that Remy rolled his eyes. “I won’t let you pay my rent.”

“Oh come on, you know I don’t have to work, and then we could just sleep all day and party all night! Then nobody would bother us about-” Remy cut himself short, not really wanting to say it. Soulmates. Truth be told, Virgil knew Remy was under more stress than he was about the whole thing. Remy’s name was still neat black print - and he was desperate to keep it that way. He was aromantic, and Virgil couldn’t even imagine not having that attraction, and yet having a name, everything you did never really changing the fact that you felt so invalidated if you even looked at your wrist. At least Virgil was polyamorous, and gay. He hoped, for his friend’s sake, that he would never ever meet this Remus.

“You know my answer Rem. And besides, this way we interact with your parents as little as possible. You know it’s my job as the bad influence to keep you away from them.” Remy snorted, nearly choking on his coffee.

“Please. You think you’re the bad influence? Remember that time when you passed out after one drink and I-”

“Shut your damn mouth.” Remy erupted into laughter, nearly spilling his coffee.

“B-but I didn’t even-” He was struggling to speak through his laughter. Virgil huffed and chugged half of his coffee. “I hadn’t even mentioned that it was a spiked punch, it wasn’t even a real drink. You used to be such a lightweight.”

“I used to be a normal person with a functional liver and then you corrupted me, you mean bastard.” Remy snorted, then handed Virgil his computer.

“Whatever. Have fun scrolling through Tumblr for the next couple hours you fucking nerd. I’m gonna get ready to go out.” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, you know I always get hammered at Sandy’s club on Thursdays. And tonight I’m wearing my sequin jacket, so I have to decide which way I wanna flip the sequins.”

“...It’s five o’clock, you lunatic.” Remy sniffed and strutted to his room, not bothering to answer. Virgil sighed, opening his computer, immediately going to Tumblr. It seemed that Logan, a.k.a. logan_environmental_scientist, had a new campaign up. Virgil skimmed the post, but he stopped when he read that Logan was working with his friend Emile to help those with anxiety and depression by setting up a communal garden, something about plants being biologically calming. The fact that Logan was one of his soulmate names had never been completely out of the equation. But Virgil could hardly believe that he could ever deserve someone so smart and motivated.

“Damn it!” Virgil jumped at the yell from Remy’s room. “Dad! I can’t just-” Here he was obviously cut off. Virgil scowled. Remy’s father was a greasy businessman who was still deluded that ‘Remus’ was a girl’s name and that Remy would find his soulmate and fall in love and get married and have a son to pass down the family name. The only reason Remy still associated with his father was to receive the money he gave him. But it was not out of any kindness. His father was only concerned about the press and tax benefits. “Fine! I want an extra thousand dollars by next month then!” Remy stormed out of his room, taking the rest of Virgil’s coffee. He didn’t protest, knowing that Remy deserved it for putting up with this asshole.

“Are you okay bud?” Remy sighed.

“I’m fine, I just… Dad wants me to make a huge donation to some charity in the name of the company. Says it’s good for press. He’ll provide the money but…” Remy sat down next to Virgil. “I don’t know! I’m not his fucking researcher, and I don’t want to make his company look better. His company isn’t even that bad, it’s just the fact that it’s his. And I have no clue who I’m gonna donate to. Something local and small should piss him off.” Virgil hesitated.

“Well, I may know a worthy campaign. It’s raising money for a communal garden, and I’ve been following the guy for a while. He’s all about the environment, but he doesn’t have the funds to go bigger. And he’s gay too, which should anger your father sufficiently.” He showed Remy his computer screen and let him skim the post.

“Perfect! This is why I’m friends with you.”

“Why, because I’m stunningly clever?” Virgil joked.

“No, because you manage to simp for the right people.” Virgil stammered in indignation, hating the fact that his face reddened so easily. “Oh come on, don’t be so serious! So, which way should I wear the sequins tonight?”

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thedramaclubs · 4 years ago

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Zazz

Summery: shits going down after prom and if you’ve seen the musical/movie be prepared for a gay panic from Patton

Warning: does get a little heated with one of the ships, and of course homophobia in the beginning

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When singing

Janus-orange (tumblr doesn’t have yellow)

Patton-blue

Both- purple

A few days after prom and things are going crazy. On Monday after school the news went to James Madison high to interview the school and Mrs Greene about what happened. Mrs Greene was now being interviewed.

“I’ve been told to say something. The courts said that Patton would not be safe if we allows him to attend prom with the other students because the uncomfortable truth is there are some people in our community that are offended by his life choices. We thought this arrangement was the only course of action.”

Suddenly news reports ask so many questions

“Mrs Greene are you homophobic?” “Are you saying sexuality is a life choice?” Then she exclaimed “ This is uncomfortable for me! To be infront of a camera like this. To read horrible things about my town. And I am just a mother. I am not any kind of a spokes person and I love all the students at James Madison high as much as my own son.” She walks up to Logan who was watching his mom being interviewed. “We are in this situation because of a group of people, privilege people from New York!”

She sighed

“They are the villains. You should be writing about them not us.”

Back at Patton’s house he and Janus we’re watching the interview on his computer. Patton had been in his room for days hiding from it all. He wore his cat onesie that Logan got for him on their 1 year anniversary of being together. He wore it because he wanted to feel like Logan was giving him a hug and he wanted to feel like Logan was their with him.

“Ugh that women totally doesn’t make my skin crawl!”

“I can’t wrap my head around all this. This is a nightmare. I’ve never been so alone in my life.” Patton started to cry a little. Janus pulled him into a hug.

“Your not alone you have friends.”

“Yeah, well where are they?” At that moment, Remus, Thomas, Joan, and Roman came in.

“Hey, we brought Haagen dazs.”

“It’s fancy ice cream.” Thomas Said as he had the bag

“I know what Hagen dazs is hand it over.” Patton grabbed the bag out of Thomas’s hands and Remus sat on the bed next to Pat.

“Are you Okay?”

“I’m amazing, the whole world is talking, making it sound like I’m the one responsible for it but no one is talking the hate there’s just so much hate. There’s so much hate.........I’m gonna need more of this shit.” Patton got the ice cream open and started eating his cookies and cream. Remus then started talking.

“Listen I know you said you don’t want our help anymore but we can’t let them get away with this. That pta women who the hell does she think she is?! I want her to get run over by a bus!!!”

“She’s a monster that’s what!”

Remus inhaled to calm down “Joan what can we do?”

“I don’t know. She’s spun this whole thing herself to make her look like the victim she’s good if she didn’t shop at dress barn she could work in P.R.”

Roman was just standing in the corner but felt like he should say something and so he did.

“I know everybody’s angry but we have to face the facts. We made matters worse. So the best thing we can do is disinfect our things and go home.”

Everyone said at the same time “NO WE ARE NOT LEAVING!!”

“We are always not leaving!! Please I want to leave this horrible place”

“No we are staying here we gotta turn this thing around. We gotta take back the press!”

“But how darling?” Said Janus as he was still on the bed.

“Patton you gotta be the face of this story you gotta go on tv and show the real asshole is!”

“And that will give him a prom?”

“This isn’t about prom anymore. This is about right and wrong you know what you have to do this right.

“I don’t know what I know.” Patton continue eating the ice cream.

“We need a national audience....what about Jimmy Fallon?”

“I can’t just pop Jimmy Fallon out of my ass!!” Exclaimed Joan. “If we want an audience we gotta go big and to to go big we have to use that one call to Eddie Sharp!” Everyone was in agreement except for Roman “No I am not calling that basterd!!”

“Just ask for a favor!”

“If I ask him for something he will want something in return and what he will want is the hamptons house. He trying to get it for years. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DISNEY AND BROADWAY CRUISES I HAD TO PAY FOR THAT HOUSE!!!!! I would rather pluck my eyes out and put them in a vacuum and call that even!”

“If that will work just pluck your eyes out then!! *sigh* Joan just get the boy on tv. I don’t care if it’s a cut on family guy just do your magic.”

“Aye aye.” Joan left to try and get Patton on TV

“This is great.” Patton then decide to say something

“No not great. I’m sorry but their is no way I’m getting in front of a camera and telling my story. I cannot do that just no. Just accept it we lost deal with it.” Patton went to a corner and stood with his arms cross. Then Thomas came up with and idea.

“Ya know there might be a better way to rid of this community by extension of nation of this cancer of intolerance!” Everyone was dead silent

Eventually Remus asked “Why are you still here? I thought you had a tour?”

“Indianapolis was canceled and so was everywhere else. But I’m thinking feature forth and seek out the younger people and rap in a non musical sense. And soon understanding could lead to, dare I say it......love.” Thomas left and now there was Roman, Remus, Janus and Patton.

Patton turned around to see their faces and Remus broke the silence again “Listen kitty cat, I know this is hard but if you don’t do something, they will.”

At that moment Janus got an idea. “Don’t worry he’s got stage fright. I’ll talk to the kid.” Roman had already walked out leaving Remus and Janus outside the door.

“Are you sure about this Jannie?” Janus put his hand on Remus’s check and kissed him.

“Of course darling.” Said Janus very seductively. Remus couldn’t help himself he had been touch starved so and picked up Janus and pinned him against the wall.

“Damn why are you so hot?!” Remus passionately kiss the smaller man as Janus put his hands on Remus’s face pulling him in closer. Sadly, it came to an end because their was a another short man waiting for Remus.

“REMUS CMON!!” Remus put his husband down and gave him one last kiss “See you tonight Jan.” Remus left leaving him and Patton alone.

“You two really love each other huh?”

“Yeah I love him so much. He may be an idiot sometimes but, he’s my idiot.” Patton laughed a little then got back on track.

“Now before you lecture me or....kick me to death with those crazy Anatlope legs.....or whatever it is your gonna do, I know I should do something. I just can’t.” Janus walked back to the bed.

“Look kid, not everyone gets a chance to step out of the chorus. You gotta do this for all the those people who used to be gypsies.”

“I’m too scared.” He hid in the cat hoodie and Janus got an idea.

“Let me tell you a story. 1975 and the original company of “Chicago” was in previews. Suddenly the worst outbreak in history hit the cast and their down to the third cover for Roxie Heart and he’s scared just like you.” Patton took the hood off of his head to listen to the rest of the story.

“So, fosse was a real ball buster puttin him through a pain an he’s petrified. Even worse he’s performing the routine like a robot. So the boss pulls him aside and says “hey kid, snap out of it. You got the steps, you got the notes, but where’s the Zazz baby.”And although he had never heard that word before he knew exactly what it meant and he crushed that performance. The audience screaming bloody murdur.”

“And that boy was you?” Janus gave him a blank stare

“Yes it was me how fucking old fo you think I am!? It was 1975. But the point is every fosse boy knows that story. All about finding your inner strength.”

When a challenge lies ahead and you are filled with dread and worry

Give it some zazz

If your courage dissapers what’ll get you fears to scurry

Give it some zazz

Zazz is style plus confidence, it may seem corny or kitsch

But when scared or on the fence you’ll find that zazz will soon make fear become your bitch

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll will stop them in a hurry

Janus layed on the bed and kicked his leg up high that gave Patton a gay panic

Give it some zazz

There’s no contest for a boy who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff

And strut your stuff

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

“I just don’t think I can do it. The thought of getting in front of all those people look at my hands their shaking”

“If your hands are shaking....”

Just turn’m into jazz hands

“Doesn’t that feel better?”

“No”

“Try this. Close your eyes.” Patton stood up and closed his eyes

“Zazz doesn’t just come out, it comes from within. Now think about Mrs Greene.” Patton put his hand across his face.

“Think about that fake prom!” He took his other hand and did jazz hands.

“Now think of finally doing something about it!” Patton started doing moves and it filled him and Janus with joy.

“Oh I’m seeing it! I’m seeing your Zazz! Now follow me!”

Do like the brave and bossy do

And if they tear you apart

Ask what would Bob Fosse do?

He’d make the people have a step ball change of heart

Ball change!!!

And if folks say you can’t win what’ll stop them in a hurry

Give it some zazz!!

There’s no contest for a boys who has some razzmatazz

So call their bluff BAM!

And strut my stuff BAM!

Like no chick in this hick town has

Instead of giving up

Give it some zazz

Now that you’ve found your zazz it’s time to show it to the world. You think you know how?

YEAH!!

People to tag @artissi-jam @patt-off @frogsandcookies @icantthinkofacreativeurl @actingonimpulse @purplestarrystars

I’m back!!!!

#sanders sides #livy writes #sanders sides the prom au #logicality #prinxiety #demus #dukeceit #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #c!thomas #ts joan

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theliterateape · 3 years ago

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Why Keep Giving Facebook My Business?

By David Himmel

It was the day after Christmas, 1996. I was a senior in high school on winter break. My friends and I piled into Brad Feely’s red Jeep Cherokee—me in the trunk because there weren’t enough seats for all of us and I was the smallest and cramming into a car too small for the passenger load is what high school kids do. We were headed to the mall to return ill-fitting gifts and fuck around because fucking around at the mall is—was—what high school kids do.

Brad had some things to return or exchange at Abercrombie & Fitch. He was at the checkout counter with the young woman making the exchanges. The rest of us wandered around the store. I started throwing on shirts, coats, hats, scarves, and such and acted out a runway fashion show. My friends giggled. I went bigger with my one-man flash mob fashion show. Other customers stared, some laughed, some ignored me. I went bigger. My friends laughed harder. Other customers laughed harder and tried to ignore me. I had achieved my goal. I’d fucked around in a store and made people laugh.

I took off the clothes, placed them back on the racks and shelves and walked up to Brad still at the counter. The employee had stepped into the back to retrieve something.

“Almost done?” I asked him.

He whispered to me, “You won’t believe what this girl just said about you.”

“What.”

“She called you a ‘dirty faggot.’”

“What!?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re sure.”

“One hundred percent. She said it under her breath, but, yeah. I heard her say it.”

I waited there for the young woman to return. A few moments later, she did. She finished up Brad’s exchanges, handed him his bag of stuff and said, “Have a nice day.”

“Excuse me,” I said to her, leaning in so as not to make a scene. Because this scene wasn’t going to be funny. But I was sure not to be too quiet about it since I did want the store to know what was going on. “Did you see my fashion show?”

“Um. Yeah?”

“Did you like it?”

She smirked uncomfortably. “Sure.”

“So why would you call me a ‘dirty faggot’?” Her face went white. Blank. Her eyes wide. Mouth agape. She’d been caught. “Yeah. My friend here heard you say it. So my question to you is this: What was dirty about what I was doing? And what about what I was doing made me a ‘faggot’? And if you thought I was being gay, what’s wrong with that? And why would you refer to a gay person as a ‘faggot’? Seems a little hateful.”

“I… I…” she stuttered, still pale faced and surprised.

“Doesn’t seem like the best customer service, does it? Insulting your customers—or their friends—with homophobic slurs.”

“I… I…”

“Yeah. Mind your mouth. Don’t be such a hateful, homophobic asshole. Especially in a store filled with photos of what have to be the gayest modeling shoots in retail history.”

People were watching and I took the cue to go louder. “That’s right, everyone. This woman, this Abercrombie & Fitch employee called me a ‘dirty faggot’. Just know the kind of person you’re buying your clothes from.”

I saw one guy drop whatever was in his arms and walk out. My friends and I followed suit.

✶

I never stepped foot in an Abercrombie & Fitch store after that. And I’m proud to say I never owned or wore a single item of theirs after my impromptu fashion show. Yeah, sure. She was a bad apple, but still. It had turned me off to the whole brand. Fuck ‘em.

Did my not buying their mostly ugly clothes—country club grunge?—hurt their bottom line? Did it send a message? No. Certainly not. Did it change the mind and behavior of that employee? I have no idea. Maybe. Maybe she’s a super-duper social justice warrior today. Maybe she doubled down and tried to Stop the Steal. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I experienced an insult to the customer and a group of people, and chose not to give that company my money.

I don’t shop at Hobby Lobby because of their treatment of workers—denying them birth control through their benefits program. I don’t eat Chick-fil-A because they oppose marriage equality and used to fund activities to suppress it. I wring my hands every time I order something on Amazon because I’m worried the worker filling my order might piss or shit themselves trying to meet their quota with my order. Or worse, get hurt doing so. Because we all know that Amazon treats its warehouse workers like demented mules instead of actual human beings with physiological limitations and full bladders.

It’s principle. I try to spend where my money will do the least harm because I know, in most instances, my spending won’t help much other than to keep someone employed at a shit job and make the owner that much richer.

So why haven’t I quit Facebook yet? Same reason I haven’t quit Amazon: It’s too convenient.

Also like Amazon, but far worse, Facebook is a monster. It was from the start. I joined under duress in 2008 because it was part of my job. When that job laid me off in the wake of the Great Recession, I killed the account. But Facebook gained more and more traction, and it seemed that I was missing out. Plus, it was a great way to promote the shows I was writing and producing. And I reconnected with old friends from lives past. Fun!

It became a reflexive way to procrastinate. Instead of standing up and stretching or reading a news story or going for a walk, I’d scroll mindlessly. Still, it was fun. It became a habit I wasn’t even aware of.

And it’s still fun, sometimes. I enjoy being easily—reflexively lazy—connected to those old pals I don’t see every day and probably wouldn’t communicate with if not for the ease of Facebook. But Facebook is bad. And when I say Facebook, I’m including Instagram, which I rarely use. (I have no issue with WhatsApp but I also only use that maybe once every two years.) They both suck. So it’s bad for our brains, bad for our body images, bad for democracy, bad for discourse, and so on. None of this is news. And this week’s whistleblowing of how actively evil Facebook leadership is reinforces the fact of how bad it apparently wants to be. And that’s insulting to all of its users and even non-users.

Because Facebook could still make millions of dollars a week and take active measures to be a better corporate citizen, a better steward of human decency. Like, has Facebook even added a pink ribbon to its logo for Breast Cancer Awareness Month? I don’t think so. Evil.*

I don’t need Facebook. The community groups are nice. And I really do like seeing those old friends I wouldn’t otherwise communicate with. And I take joy in the possibility that ex-girlfriends might occasionally poke through my profile and see how awesome my hair is. But I don’t need it. If I want to promote something, I can place an ad anywhere else. My god, what did we do before Facebook? And there are so many other digital ways to share our bullshit.

If I leave, will Facebook feel it? Nope. Just like Abercrombie. My aversion is less than a pebble drop in the ocean. But I’ll feel better. Right? I’ll miss my friends I wouldn’t otherwise talk to, but if they mattered that much to me, I could make the effort to text or call. But I won’t. Because the apparent truth is that having them as friends on Facebook is more about the voyeurism. So wait, are we even friends then? Jesus. Facebook has even warped our sense of friendship.

I don’t know if I’ll leave it. But it’s been on my mind for a while now. Maybe I won’t go cold turkey, maybe I’ll start by deleting the app from my phone. Or maybe it’s best to pack up all my shit and walk right out. That’s the advice I’d give to someone else in an abusive relationship.

*Just so we’re clear, this whole going pink in October thing that companies, local police departments, sports organizations love to do is dumb. It’s the bare minimum at best and limp virtue signaling at worst. If you really care about breast cancer, do a better job of caring about women. So, you know, pay better wages, offer childcare, don’t shoot them in their homes. Take your pink ribbon and shove it. Do better.

#Frances Haugen #Facebook #Boycotts #Abercrombie & Fitch #Abercrombie and Fitch #Gay slurs #gay rights #Facebook whistleblower #Facebook is evil #social media addiction #Corporate greed #American greed

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beatrice-otter · 5 years ago

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I am incandescently furious: ABA and "evidence"

Applied Behavioral Analysis, also known as "ABA," is the most common therapy for "treating" autism. In the US, it is the only autism therapy that most insurance companies will pay for. It's also pretty universally hated as abusive by those who have been unfortunate enough to have had it inflicted on them. For those of you who don't know, it was designed by the same guy (Ivor Lovaas) who created gay conversion therapy. He was working with two kids, one an "effeminate" boy, and one an autistic boy, trying to train them to be "normal." The same basic reasoning and methodology are at the heart of both gay conversion therapy and ABA. (Note the sample size he was working with, folks, that's gonna be important.) Oh, but ABA is kinder and gentler now! its proponents say. They don't use punishments, only rewards! as if that somehow makes it less coercive. (And, oh, by the way, while it is true that most ABA therapists don't use punishments, there are still a ton who do, and the practice is still condoned by their professional organization.) Most ABA professionals are absolutely unaware of how much adult autistics who have been through ABA hate and loathe it, how much trauma it causes. But even when they are aware of it, their excuse is that it's "evidence based." We have to do this, because it's the only thing that works! It's the only thing that's been scientifically proven! And I knew that part of that claim was bullshit, because there aren't any longitudinal studies of ABA (i.e. what results can you find a decade or two later); all the studies are of immediate effects. But it's worse than I thought. Someone just did a meta-analysis of all autism intervention therapies. And guess what they found! The vast majority of studies of ABA are not scientifically valid enough to be included in the study. Either they're case studies of ONE (1) child, or the results are reported by parents and/or therapists (and such reports are NOTORIOUSLY BIASED, parents will report a child received benefit from a therapy the child never even RECEIVED). Yeah, sure, the results reported are glowing, but the whole "study" is junk! When you take out the junk studies, not only are there not many studies left but the results are a lot more ambiguous than ABA proponents would claim. I knew that Lovaas' initial research had been done on only two kids, one autistic and one "effeminate" (i.e. queer), but I had assumed (silly me) that he'd followed up with larger studies once he had his methodology worked out. And you know what? It isn't just that the "evidence" for ABA is incredibly flimsy and their whole "but it's EVIDENCE BASED so if you don't like it you're against SCIENCE!" is bullshit. The meta-analysis showed that when you only include studies that are based on actual scientific method and shit like that, there are two "promising" types of therapy, and ABA IS NOT ONE OF THEM. There are two studies that, when one looks at ACTUAL evidence and not just ABA practitioners writing self-congratulatory odes about their star victi--er, sorry patient, show actual positive results. And those two therapies are Naturalistic Developmental Behavioral Interventions and DIR/Floortime. Neither of which, after a decade of keeping up with autism news, I had ever even heard of. To every ABA "therapist" who's ever justified themselves by claiming to be "evidence based," FUCK YOU. For those who want a less-academic summary of the study, that has some really choice things to say about ABA and those who practice it, Alfie Kohn has an excellent blog post about it. Here's my favorite bit:

The uncomfortable irony is that we are apparently supposed to accept such appeals to “evidence” on faith. I have written elsewhere about how research cited in the field of education sometimes doesn’t stand up to close examination. This is particularly true of traditional practices rooted in behaviorism — not only ABA and similar interventions for children with special needs but also highly scripted direct instruction of discrete facts and skills in early childhood (and beyond) and explicit phonics-based strategies for teaching reading.9 You might assume that those who use the phrase “evidence-based practice” (EBP) are offering a testable claim, asserting that the practices in question are supported by good data. In reality, the phrase is more of an all-purpose honorific, wielded to silence dissent, intimidate critics, and imply that anyone who criticizes what they’re doing is rejecting science itself.10 It’s reminiscent of the way a religious leader might declare that what we’ve been told to do is “God’s will”: End of discussion.

Moreover — and it took me awhile to catch on to this — behaviorists often use “EBP” just as a shorthand for the practices they like, in contrast to the (progressive or humanistic) approaches they revile. It doesn’t matter if the evidence is actually weak or ambiguous or even if it points in the other direction. They’ll always come up with some reason to dismiss those inconvenient findings because their method is “evidence-based” by definition. (On social media and elsewhere, you can get a glimpse of how modern behaviorism resembles a religious cult, with adherents circling the wagons, trading ad hominem attacks on their critics, and testing out defensive strategies to employ when, for example, people with autism speak out about how ABA has harmed them. Or when scholarship shows just how weak the empirical case for ABA really is.)

comments

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#autism #actuallyautistic #aba

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implodingcacti · 4 years ago

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Hi, I worked graveyard at a hotel for 2 years.

Tonight’s my last night. I want to share some stories with you, because this job has been fucking wild.

When I interviewed for the job, my future GM asked if I was a good person (I said yes), complained about the American healthcare system for 30 minutes, and then hired me on the spot. That was my entire interview. He said he trusted me fully because my friend recommended me for the job.

This is the same friend who tried to get me to buy her cigarettes with a school ID because she had left hers at home. Our school IDs were printed on cardstock and laminated by the secretary. I told her it would not work because it looked like a shitty fake ID.

It did not work.

This surprised her.

Also the same friend who had a tan minivan, drove us to Starbucks during an off period in high school, almost crashed because she was smoking, and hit two people’s cars in the parking lot.

Love her.

The first employee I met got into an argument in front of me with her boyfriend. They fought loudly. Afterwards, she asked if I wanted a lollipop.

She got fired like a month afterwards because she took the money from the drawer. This was not the first time she had been fired for this.

I worked with a guy who I’m going to call S. S was a bald white guy who looked like a attorney who couldn’t leave his job. Or a depressed bank manager who’s wife divorced him. He was a very nice man.

I told him this one day on shift change. He thought this was fucking hilarious.

S also used to be a drug dealer. He got busted for selling drugs at this hotel years ago, went to prison, all that shit. My manager hired him after he got out. He thought this story was very funny.

We had a permanent resident named Joe. He was the nicest fucking guy. I chatted with him in the mornings when I set up breakfast. I miss him so much.

He doesn’t live at the hotel any more. This is depressing.

A man threatened to beat me up for flirting with his wife, because he saw us laughing in the lobby. I tried to tell him that I was not interested in his wife, who was 30 years older than me and also not my type. He was still angry.

I texted my manager this. He told me that if the man tried anything, we have, and I quote, “a big ass wrench” next to the safe. He gave me permission to hit the guy with it.

The wrench is, in fact, really fucking big.

A sexline operator called me once, while I was working. This was uncomfortable for me, a very ace then-19 year old. We got into an argument because she claimed I had called her.

Actually just... lots of people liked treating me like phonesex operators. Apparently people’s kinks are listening to room rates. Please do not do this to the people working front desk.

While we’re here, I got invited to a threesome once. The people who invited me? They watched me clock in to do shift change. They asked literal minutes after I clocked in. There is only one person at front desk. They asked after the other guy left.

I declined. For obvious reasons.

The other guy was S, who laughed about it when I told him the next day.

That time that they fired someone and another person left and we were short staffed for a month, so there were two days a week I’d come in at midnight, leave at 6AM, and then come in at noon for another 6 hour shift.

I hated that. Never again.

There was a raid on a hotel across the street. I watched it happen with Joe. He told me shit was wild. I agreed.

My GM would just... text me. At random times of day. To ask how many we had in house.

It was never when I was working.

He was always disappointed that I couldn’t tell him because I wasn’t working.

The time I had to crawl partially under a bed in a smoking room to help a guy get his cat. She was a good cat.

A lady told me a man was outside with a chainsaw and she’d seen him murder someone. Understandably, I was concerned, because she was shaken up and my hearing is godawful. I called the cops, who took things very seriously until she said the chainsaw man had no head in her physical description.

apparently she was on a very bad drugs trip. I learned this the next time I had to call the non-emergency number, because one of the cops from that incident showed up and told me.

A guy died in a room. Normally, you’d think this would be relayed with more urgency. I found about it when I was doing shift change with S. He told me this, and then proceeded to complain about an unrelated room and called them assholes.

The guy’s car was here for 8 months. The company he worked for wanted us to ship the car out to them. We told them they’d have to cover the shipping charge. They refused, and then S got the title to the car.

A guy once threatened to call the cops on me because I told him he couldn’t check into his room 10 hours early without paying an early check in fee. He wanted to call the cops because Expedia said it was 24 hour check in, and it was false advertisement.

He made the mistake of doing this right before I had to head out for a camp. I laughed at him, told him I’d willingly call the cops for him, and that I would love to have them come down.

A scam call once got angry with me because I wouldn’t authorize a purchase.

They pretended to call my manager. I laughed when they did it, because I could hear the phonecall.

My manager had a very particular way of speaking. He was very slow when talking. They did not take this into account.

I told him about this the next shift, of course, and he did not believe me. It was during shift change, luckily, so I did a faux phone call with another coworker, who had worked there for years. Both of them thought it was funny that I had his timing and general tone down.

The scam artists told me I was fired because my manager was, quote, “extremely disappointed in me”. I told them I was glad, because it meant I could go home early.

(My manager told me I wasn’t fired when I told him he had apparently fired me. I asked if he was still disappointed. He laughed.)

When we changed the clock-in system and I had to text our hotel manager whenever I clocked in and out.

A guy tried to tell me that I wasn’t qualified to check him into a room because women are all stupid. I asked him if he wanted to talk to the manager. He said yes, and the manager called him an idiot.

The other time someone told me I wasn’t qualified to check them in because I took too long, and I offered to let her come in and check herself in. Our servers were updating. She declined, because she didn’t work here. I told her she was just going to have to be patient.

Kicked someone out of the hotel once. He came back 30 minutes later to try and re-rent his room. I told him no. He thought I was just joking about him being kicked out.

My GM tried for like 8 months to get me to date another coworker. He made jokes about giving him a raise so he could take me out to dinner.

I do not think my GM knew I was very gay.

The coworker did not take me out to dinner.

The one drunk college student from Germany who I made friends with in the breakfast room, and his significantly less drunk friend.

they both said trans rights, i’m still crying

Drunk men are assholes. Drunk women are godsends.

One night, a lady told me my eyes were pretty, and when I had to help her to the door, she called me gorgeous and said I smelled nice.

her friends were so embarrassed

i forgot how to speak

That same night, a drunk guy said he hated his wife and that he hated me too after calling me an asshole. His wife came in after he said this. I felt bad for her.

Occasionally people would stop at the front desk on their way back from the gas station, and would come bearing gifts of usually drinks. It was always nice.

one time a guy offered me weed brownies

i declined because i was worried about

The guy who stopped at the front desk to ask where the nearest Starbucks was, because his girlfriend wanted a frappuccino, and he was gonna get her one so she could have it in bed.

He came back as I was clocking out.

His girlfriend had dumped him on his way back.

I felt really bad, because this man had peak “dumb of ass but chugs respecting women juice” energy.

Incidentally, I got a free Starbucks frap.

Someone was convinced I was colorblind because I told him that I thought his blue cup was neat.

It was a purple cup.

i did not know how to tell him i was not colorblind, i am just an idiot

Our GM moved to Texas and we didn’t see him for like a year. He was the GM of 2 other hotels. Apparently, he said he was living at all three.

Some dude came into the hotel once night. I tried talking to him. He started signing. I do not know sign, and apologized, and then grabbed a paper to write back and forth with him.

The man made me learn fingerspelling and we instead did this back and forth.

I thought nothing of this, and he came by a few times to chat with me, albeit incredibly slowly.

During shift change, he came in again. I explained to my relief that he only signed. He nodded, and then told me that he had been “healed by a grace act of God, and could now hear and talk.”

He then tried to tell me to come to church to celebrate this miracle.

He told me he was actually fine. He was just choosing to learn ASL and wanted me to participate for the “immersion of it all”, so that I might “find the lord and accept him once more into my heart”.

yes, this was in fact, some white person bullshit

Also in line with white people bullshit, the guy who said he could tell I had a strained relationship with my half-sister but a good relationship with my youngest sister, that my father would recover from the divorce, and that my engagement would be fine. He said it was because I was a Leo cusp, and then said that Kimberly was a good name for me and that I chose well.

i am not a leo. i was born in december

i have no sisters

i have never been engaged

my parents are (somehow) still married

i was wearing a nametag. angeles does not sound or look anything like kimberly

They sold the hotel last year to new owners. Nobody knew until an email got sent out that said we “probably would still have our jobs”.

I argued with my new manager about a raise. He didn’t want to give it to me. I told him he had to, because I was working minimum wage, and the minimum wage had gone up.

the AAA guy who was a real big dick when I asked him to repeat himself and joked about women being bad at jobs.

He asked me if there were any discounts. I refused to give him any, because we had none for him.

He asked if I knew if there was any discount that would make him stop asking me stupid questions. I sighed and said “No, but god I fucking wish there was.”

Tonight, a lady asked me what our beta fish’s name is. I don’t know. She decided to name him Benny, and then asked me to come up with a name. I panicked and said Soap. This was apparently the right answer, because she nodded sagely and said I chose wisely.

#angeles blogs

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romansleftshoulderpad · 5 years ago

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Secret Siren

Words: 3,459

Ships: Platonic LAMP, background pining analogical, mentioned background Remile

First fic of 2020! This is Part 2 of the Building Bridges Arc, so I suggest reading part 1 here.

Warnings: Mentions of Deceit, mentions of Remus, teasing about crushes, jealousy, insecurity, lying, as I am not genderflux the description of it ended up sounding rather Textbook-y so I would like to apologize to any genderflux readers in advance

WCBI Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @madly-handsome @strickenwithclairvoyance @limitededitionsanderssidesblog @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @ab-artist @sometimeswritingsometimesdying @because-were-fam-ily @gattonero17 @analogical-mess @joaniejustwokeup @whycantihavemorethan32characters @viva-la-pluto-dam-you

---

Roman wasn’t at Logan’s very much. Logan very rarely had guests over in the first place, but somehow that made days like these a little more special.

It seemed like a perfect recipe for stress, but days just sitting in Logan’s room and watching the sky were the most relaxed he ever felt. It was a side of Logan only he and Virgil got to see. He was laying across his bed, bundled up in a NASA hoodie and tossing a pink rubble ball up into the air on loop. He seemed to not notice Roman sketching him as they listened to music on Logan’s old CD player.

“I still don’t understand why you don’t just get a Bluetooth speaker,” Roman teased as if he hadn’t heard the answer a million times.

“Your lack of comprehension disappoints me, Roman. Truly, I am saddened by this.”

“Holy shit!” Roman gasped. “Logan Zander Hamilton has feelings?! Are pigs flying too?!”

“Thanks for the heart attack, asshole,” Logan said, chucking the rubble ball at Roman who caught it without flinching. “You are, by far, the worst of my close friends.”

“Aww, you said we’re close friends,” he teased. “Can’t believe I'm worse than Remy though.”

“Remy is only a close friend when he isn’t being an asshole.”

“But he’s always being an asshole.”

“Exactly.”

Roman smirked and tossed the rubber ball back to Logan. “So what’s the rundown?”

“Rundown?”

“The list. Come on, you can’t tell me you have a ranking of your close friends and not tell me the ranking.”

“It starts with Virgil and the more you push this the lower you get,” Logan said.

“Aww. Where’s Narcissa?”

“Number four.”

“Patton?”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Having powers does not constitute friendship.”

“That’s harsh,” Roman said. “Toss me the ball back, would ya?”

Logan tossed lower than Roman’s hands and smirked as the force smacked straight into his stomach. “I just... I don’t trust him, I don’t know.”

“You didn’t seem too wary of him at Emile’s party. Hell, you even sat next to him!”

“Falsehood, I was simply looking out for his best interest regarding Seth. That doesn’t mean I trust him any more than the one-eyed little cretin.”

“Nice Monsters Inc. reference.”

“Thank you, I try.”

“Aww, for me?”

Logan cleared his throat. “Nonetheless, I think we just need to be more careful with our trust. We still don’t know what he’s capable of with his powers.”

“We don’t know what Virgil is capable of either. Plus, Patton’s powers already put him in the emergency room quite preposterously.”

“Never put that much alliteration into a statement ever again,” Logan said. “And of course we can trust Virgil, we’ve known him for years.”

“My point,” Roman corrected, “isn’t that we shouldn’t trust Virgil. My point is that we should give Patton a chance.”

“You’d almost think you have a crush.”

“A squish! No- I- I mean, there’s nothing, but you know crushes aren’t my thing.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Not this easily at least.”

“Because of your crush on Virgil?”

“You bitch!” Roman yelled, laughing as he smacked Logan with a pillow. “I’m over it, I swear. And the bigger issue here is your crush on Virgil and don’t you dare try to deny this you two are one heartwarming conversation away from becoming the next Remy and Emile.”

Logan turned bright red. “You honestly believe that Virgil would-” He hid his face in his hands. “You’re the worst.”

“I’m saying if he could open his fucking eyes and get it through his thick skull that you’re gayer than the crowd of a My Chemical Romance concert than maybe he’d actually try to ask you out.”

Logan slowly looked up from his hands. “He- What?”

“If you’re honestly surprised he’s into you, then-”

“No, no, that actually makes sense. He thinks I’m straight?!”

Roman sighed. “We’ve been trying to tell him.”

“Smart enough to make honors but not enough to realize I’m gay. Wow. This is very troubling, Roman. Am I- dare I ask- Am I not gay enough?”

Roman laughed. “Could be gayer.”

“I’m going to have to write ‘raging homosexual’ on my forehead, aren’t I?”

“I’m afraid so. Don’t worry, I’ll write ‘enraged aroace’ on mine so we’re even.”

Logan laughed and something seemed to radiate from him. When he opened his eyes they were a perfect reflection of the night sky. He was able to blink this away but it still managed to cause a sinking feeling in Roman’s gut.

Magic.

Of course...

It was impressive, to say the least, watching Virgil work. They were deep within the forest as Virgil ran amuck and Roman sat against a rock with his umbrella on one side of him and his sketchbook in his lap.

“Okay, okay!” Virgil yelled excitedly. “Get your umbrella ready, I’m going to make it rain.” Electricity sparked from his hands and surrounded him.

“I highly doubt that,” Roman teased, opening his umbrella. “Unless you mean cash-wise because I’m willing. I’m even willing to strip for you if you pay me. I’m a broke bitch, Virgil. Give me your money.”

“Shut up,” Virgil laughed. “You’ll break my concentration.”

He ran past Roman, jumping into the air and landing in a superhero pose that had clearly been rehearsed. With a loud crack of thunder, it did, indeed, begin to rain and Roman raced to sketch Virgil as quickly as he could before his subject moved.

“Well,” he muttered to himself. “At least I’m faster at drawing now.”

“You okay?” Virgil asked, sitting down next to him. The rain hadn’t been strong, and it was already starting to clear up, but it was just enough to wet his face and cause his shirt to cling to his muscles.

“I’m fine it’s just... I don’t know. I’ve been thinking. Bad thinking.”

“Phone a friend or call a national helpline?”

“Phone a friend,” Roman said. Virgil visibly relaxed. “Specifically some magical superhuman friends.”

“Still worried about your powers?”

Roman sighed. “I just... you have that cool shit you just did! With the lightning and rain, and Logan is starting to develop his powers too. Even Patton, we may not entirely know what his powers are but he has them!”

“Maybe it’s like puberty.”

“This is not like puberty. I haven’t been able to do anything since the cave and just- I can’t stop thinking about if something happens. What if someone is in danger and we all need to help them? I’d be completely useless to you!”

“Roman, you’re never useless to us. And nothing is going to happen.”

“How can you be so sure, Virgil?” He looked down and whispered, “What if someone goes missing?”

“That’s a very Logan thing of you to say,” Virgil teased, bumping into him. Roman leaned his head on his shoulder.

“We don’t know what’s going to happen. There could be anything out there.” He sighed. “And I want to help if it does.”

“You’ll get your powers, Roman, and I’ll be here to help you every step of the way.”

“You’re a good friend, Virgil.”

“Only because you’re a good friend in return.”

And so, they sat there, leaning against each other as the rain fell softly around them. It was calm, watching the rebirth of nature, as the deepest of Roman’s anxieties buried themselves away, giving him a break- even just for the time being.

Roman had gotten used to being at Patton’s house pretty often. Dot and Larry had seemed to warm up to him (and since Patton started seeing Seth, Larry seemed more trusting of Roman). “Happy New Year, Mrs. Hart,” Roman greeted with a smile.

“Oh, Roman, you can call me Dot.”

“No, I don’t think I can, Mrs. Hart,” he said, still smiling.

“Oh, very well, will you be staying for dinner tonight?” Dot asked.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your family time and-”

“Nonsense!” Larry laughed as he passed through. He leaned towards Roman and stage whispered, “You’re one of Patton’s better friends anyway.”

“Larry!” Dot scolded as Roman blushed in embarrassment. “What my husband means is that you’re always welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

“Mom, are you embarrassing my friend?” Patton asked as he came down the stairs, he wore a baggy sweatshirt and gym shorts and his hair was messy as if he had just woken up.

“Patton, you need to look presentable for company!”

“He’s seen me look way worse,” Patton justified.

“I’ve seen Logan look worse, which I think is way more important.”

“Go get changed,” Dot said.

“Fiiine,” Patton groaned, quickly running up the stairs. Roman couldn’t help but laugh at how their sweet and gentle Patton could so easily turn into the human version of a lemon.

“I’m sorry about him, he’s just been so off lately.”

“Every teenager is during the break, Mrs. Hart. You turn nocturnal. I’m sure he’s just making up for being awake past four A.M or something.”

Dot sighed. “I suppose you’re right. And I suppose you should also tell your mother you’re staying here for dinner.”

“Fine, fine,” he laughed. “You’ve twisted my arm. I’ll go call her.” He stepped aside from the kitchen and sent out a quick text. He knew his parents didn’t care, but he still felt bad about lying to Dot.

He looked up as he heard a thump down the stairs. Patton was standing in front of him, hair-styled meticulously with a white and blue floral button-down tucked into a pair of lightly ripped jeans with cat socks on. Somehow, even his glasses looked perfect.

“You clean up nicely,” he said.

Patton rolled his eyes but held a tiny sliver of a smile. “Whatever, my mom just worries about ‘presentation’ all the time. You don’t have to play along.”

“No, I mean it,” he said. “You, uh, look really nice.”

Patton laughed. “Well, thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.” Roman blushed as they headed up to Patton’s room. “I’ll warn you, it’s a bit messy. I’ve been trying to reorganize but, well, you know how it is.”

“Can’t be worse than Remy’s,” Roman shuddered. “We never ask why it’s messy. Not after the incident with Dad’s car.”

“Cool, so, uh, remind me to never go to Remy’s house ever again.” He opened the door and carefully toed boxes away, clearing a path to his bed. “New decade, new me.”

“So what are your resolutions?” Roman asked, moving a pile of clothes out of his way.

“I’ve never been one for resolutions, they’re so overwhelming and discouraging when you mess up,” Patton explained. “I just try to be me, you know. Every day is an opportunity to grow and be better. To move on from the past. I don’t need a calendar to tell me when to grow up.”

“That’s a very admirable ideology, Patton,” Roman said. “My goal is to just be even gayer.”

Patton laughed as he moved away unfolded clothes and miscellaneous stuffed animals. “That’s a good goal to chase.”

“Indeed it is, but I think you called me here for more than just resolutions,” Roman said, waving Patton’s notebook in the air.

Patton took the notebook and grabbed a pen. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, this just means you owe me a movie date,” he teased. “No superhero movies, though. I think we need a break from superhero stuff.”

“A movie date,” Patton laughed, flipping through his notebook. “I don’t think Seth would like it very much if we called it that.”

“Then we can go on our movie date and Seth can continue being the human version of Avengers: Endgame.”

“Endgame was good,” Patton said weakly. He looked away from Roman’s stare. “Okay, fine, it wasn’t. But that’s not the point. The point is that we’re trying to figure out who this mysterious victim is.”

Roman’s stomach dropped like an apple from a tree. “So, we’re sure this is going to happen?”

“We’re being prepared in case it does,” he said, scribbling names quickly. “I still can’t differentiate past from future in these dreams but... I think this might be both.”

“Both?”

“He’s taken Remus before. Or done something to him. The name Moira comes up a lot, I think that might be the name of the woman from the club.”

Roman grabbed his sketchbook and held his hand out. Patton tossed the pen at him. As he quickly scribbled, he thought aloud, “Was Moira a random woman in a club? Or was she Morality?”

“Morality is a girl?” Patton asked. “That would explain some of the dreams, but when we met he- she? They?”

“I don’t think he’s a girl now,” Roman said. “She’s definitely not cis.”

“Too bad we can’t just ask.”

“Morality doesn’t talk to you?” Roman asked. “Sometimes I wish Remus would shut up.”

“Maybe that’s your power,” Patton teased. He made a grabby hand towards Roman for the pen. “Thank yooouuu.”

“That’s a lame power,” Roman said. “Plus I’m pretty sure Logan does that weird meditative thing with Knowledge.”

“Too bad there’s not a way we can all talk to the spirits and figure this out. Wait-” He scribbled something quickly just off from the chart he had been working on. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“So who’s getting kidnapped?”

“I’ve seen Logan in the hallways of where I believe our victim is getting kidnapped. It’s not him.”

“Okay, good to know.”

“You’re always with me whenever I see the missing poster. And everyone else I’ve only seen at the party, which had nothing to do with that man.”

“So it’s not Logan and not me,” Roman said. “There’s a lot of people that aren’t me or Logan.”

“I haven’t seen Virgil in any dreams,” Patton said. “Do you think it’s him?”

“No, no, it can’t be. He’s super powerful when he’s just dicking around in his backyard. In danger? I don’t believe he’s our victim.”

“Okay,” Patton sighed. “Okay. We still don’t have much to work with.”

“We have time, right?”

“I hope so.”

“Time for what?” Dot asked in the doorway.

“Studying!” Patton lied. “Yeah, uh, we’re studying for, um-”

“Patton has Mrs. Green for chemistry,” Roman said. “And her class is the absolute worst. Luckily for him, I had her back in my sophomore year so I’m helping him study.”

“Aw well isn’t that nice,” Dot cooed. “Dinner is almost ready so you boys might want to start heading down.”

“Sounds great, Mom. But you should head down now, I smell burning.”

Something shone in Dot’s eyes. “Oh dear, I smell it too! Hurry down boys!”

“You’re a shit liar,” Roman said. “I hope you know that. I’ve literally never seen anyone as bad at lying as you are. You’re so bad.”

“Okay, okay, whatever. I don’t feel comfortable lying.”

Roman reached out to cup Patton’s cheek. He stiffened up but made no move to get away. Roman brushed his thumb across the skin under Patton’s eye. “Interesting...”

“What are you doing?”

“Your face turns pink when your powers work, well, part of it does. It’s like the night you first, you know.”

“I still don’t know how to get rid of it! Dinner will be ready any second now, what do I do?!”

“Relax,” Roman said, pulling something out of his bag. “This was too light for me, but I think it can work for you.” He opened a small thing of concealer and put some on his finger. “Hold still.” He leaned forward, gently applying the concealer and fully aware of Patton’s breath against his face. He silently prayed that neither of the Hart parents walked in.

He leaned back, ignoring the blush on Patton’s face. “That should work. Keep this in your blog in case something ever happens at school.”

“You think something like this will happen at school?”

“No, but it’s still better to be precautious. Now let’s go get some food, I’m starving.”

Roman had begun to spend a lot of his free time in the art room. He’d eat his lunch in a hurry, if he even ate at all, and quickly head over with his sketchbook in hand. It was nice to have a quiet space with just his earbuds and his art supplies.

Mostly quiet.

The earbuds hadn’t granted him silence for very long.

“She’s pretty,” EJ commented. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. You’re very talented though, who is she?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” Roman answered.

“So, like a mystery woman?”

“More like a design I’m working on.” He flipped to a new page. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I guess not. I’ve never seen you around here before. Typically no one I know comes in here.”

“I’ve been a bit more motivated these past few weeks.”

“With mystery women?”

“You could say that,” he said. “I like your bracelet.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” EJ said, fiddling with the orange beads that spelled out “THEY-THEM”. “Not too many people notice it.”

“Are you fluid?”

“No, but I am non-binary,” they said. “I’m a demigirl but I’m also genderflux, which just means that how strongly I feel my gender changes. Sometimes I feel very strongly like a girl, other times I hardly feel like one at all.”

“So the pronoun bracelets.”

“When I don’t feel like a girl, she/her just feels wrong. They/them is fine whenever though, so if you’re not sure you can just use that.”

“Good to know,” Roman said. “I’m he/him all the time. I’m sure you already know Narcissa uses she/her, but the rest of us use he/him. Logan also finds they/them acceptable if that’s worth noting.”

“Good to know,” they teased. “Your group really knows how to throw a party.”

“Yeah, we all saw you and Narcissa on New Years,” Roman said. EJ blushed pink.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Roman quickly packed up his art supplies and put them in his bag before swinging it over his shoulder. “Where are you headed?” he asked.

“Art is my next class,” they explained. “I find it easier to wait here.”

“Fair enough,” Roman laughed. “I’ll see you around, then?”

“You certainly will,” they said with a smile as Roman left. Their eyes never left him until he was completely out of view. “And I’ll be seeing you.”

Roman was alone in his room, sketching every fine line and detail that came into his mind. He was never able to figure out his powers with the others. Could he figure them out on his own? He looked at himself in the mirror, his irises were red and his hair was turning grey. Green smoke twirled around his pen. “Are you just here to tease me?” The smoke didn’t answer. “You’re not very charming, you know. You can at least help me with this Patton mystery. I think he’s onto something here.”

Roman looked down at the drawing and saw Patton on one side of the page and Virgil on the lother. He glared at the smoke. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

He pulled out his phone and flipped to a new page. He had taken a good amount of photos from New Year’s Eve, and he wanted some drawings that weren’t strange magical lines. He pulled up a group shot from the party they had talked Seth into taking for them. He zoomed in on EJ’s face, the lighting gave them an almost orange halo. Roman picked up his pencil and started sketching. There was something familiar about their eyes. He brushed off the thought, deciding he needed to work on developing a more unique style.

He scribbled the rest of his friends onto the page, paying special attention to the highlights on Virgil’s skin and the curl of Logan’s hair along with the crookedness of Patton’s smile. By the time he was finished with the drawing, the smoke was gone and he looked like himself once again.

“Your tricks are getting rather tired, Remus,” he scoffed quietly. “You’ll need to find a new way to get my hopes up.”

He checked the time and realized it was getting late. He quickly put away his art supplies and headed to the bathroom, turning on the shower as he did a few more chores.

He turned on his speaker and let his Disney playlist play, putting away his phone as he quickly stripped down. He stepped into the hot water, imaging his stressors melting away down the drain. He closed his eyes and massaged shampoo onto his scalp, singing along to a song from the original Mary Poppins and completely oblivious to the soaps and hygiene products levitating around him.

#Sanders Sides fic #We Could Be Immortals

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