#this comeback is truly on another level omg ......

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Honestly me neither but apparently Aryu stans exists?? I mean they must if they keep making merch for them SHSHGSSH

YAY omg congrats!!! Touching grass pays off LMAO another Mira W!!

Oh WHAT ok then well, I guess ever platform has its issues LOL now I see why Ao3 authors always feel the need to explain their absence (the insane ones are so funny but also genuinely crazy like wdym you almost died but are updating in the hospital bed??? Go rest??) Glad you don’t get people harassing you like that anymore because if it were me I’d probably end up ditching the piece altogether unless I was writing it for myself HAHA

“Do you want me to kill myself me honest” IS INSANEEEEE HONESTLY THAT COMEBACK SLAPS HAHAHA I think it’s tame considering how they were being so pushy but didn’t even bother to absorb the fact that you literally already answered the question a day before….

SWIMMING SCENE we won guys but so true little kid drama’s usually restricted by the complexities of their social interactions which are far and few in between LMAO can’t wait for that angsty teen/tween phase

So real for that…I fear I remain closeted until I become really good friends with someone or honestly it won’t come up at all if the other person doesn’t consume any of the same type of media because we usually talk about others things HAHA

Yeah it’s just Itoshi flashback essentially LMAO I’m ngl idk how to feel it definitely doesn’t really make me feel anything more for Rin (what was bro doing??? The way he fell down looked so goofy I’m not even sure what to say and tbh I don’t really get how him like jumping off places really aligns with the ideation of “defeating someone stronger even if it kills you” but he’s probably like 5 so I guess it makes sense that his thought process doesn’t make sense??? Whatever ig LMAO) seeing sae take the heat for rin was kinda cute but yeah erm his dad was kinda ominous there!!! Also the beard, that’s just sae with a beard a black dyed hair. But YEAH honestly I think I felt more for Rin without knowing this background like uhhh what?? I also have little interest in analyzing this myself so I’ll just let it sit there HAHA

LEARNING BY NOT FOLLOWING EXAMPLE REAL you’ll see in the next chapters that ideation is even more prevalent…but ok ummm why is this LN so deep?? I think they just stepped up the level of emotion and whatnot in this volume because??? I’m about to go skim Aryu’s to see what’s in there let’s see if he gets bullied too /j

-Karasu anon

HAHA ig that’s true!! aryu fandom wherever you are i hope you’re staying strong 😫 that’s like the ultimate random side character to be in love with because he truly is up to nothing 😭 but ykw i support

okay wait crazy story i actually have updated a fic while in the hospital before 😳 i had an allergic reaction to something and was in anaphylactic shock so they gave me steroids and had to monitor my vitals for a few hours so i was like “ok might as well write ig” but then my laptop died and i was so mad 😔 i texted my best friend abt it and she was like “girl you are in the hospital focus on THAT” FJFKSKS the grind truly never stops!!

LMAOO lowkey i did abandon the story it’s been like three months since i updated and tbh i always forget i’m the one who wrote it 😓 looking back i think i was just annoyed because it felt like people just saw me as a content machine who could spit out chapters at will?? like it’s one thing when people ask me when peregrine will be updated because it’s been a month or so (don’t get me wrong it still is a little annoying because i have no idea but not AS bad) but when more than two days would pass and they’d be asking me when the next chapter would come out it was just like…do you not want me to have a life or smth?? it’s not like i can abandon everything else i do solely to write new chapters and update 😭

SWIMMING SCENE INDEED i’m trying to make this not be too similar to fwtkac but there’s def a bit of overlap in things like pool scenes and whatnot (even though the outcomes of the scenes are different in each fic)…but yeah there’s def a little bit of drama just because even as a very young child karasu was down bad but like at the age of 7 it’s not as if he knows what that means yk 🤔 it’s also funny because rn i’m picturing baby karasu from epinagi so it’s more like “aww cute kid” (which is also the reader’s mindset so that’s good) but i need to get to when he enters his growth spurt era so i can be like 😏 HAHAHAHA

agreed it’s not something i bring up until i’ve judged a person’s vibe well enough to know they won’t be weird abt it or if they bring it up first…even then like i don’t talk a ton abt it w my friends unless they’re also into it (sadly i have no bllk irls so it’s been difficult but at least i have my tumblr crew to geek out with)

HELP RIN LOOKED SO SILLY i have no idea what he was up to…truly he was a weird little kid but that honestly checks out w what we know of him because even now when you get past his fantasy otome isekai male lead appearance he’s lowkey a bit of a freak 😭 and i think painting sae as someone who takes the heat for rin makes me feel bad for him a bit because who is taking the heat for HIM yk?? and omg they did not try w the itoshi parents’ designs at all they don’t even have eyes 😓 maybe it was an artistic choice idk LMAO i guess we’ll see how the match progresses from here!! hoping for more karasu and yukimiya 🥹 maybe kunigami too he’s kind of been irrelevant besides guarding shidou so hopefully after the rin goal that’s sure to come there’ll be some focus on the shidou system (shidou karasu zantetsu) that seemed to be setting smth up before rin went crazy and then that could lead to some development/scenes for kunigami as well 🤔 i’m excited too that the nel arc is almost over hehe it’ll be fun to see everyone back together and hopefully on the same team again!! as well as seeing what comes next in the manga (i’m assuming u20 world cup but i’m sure there’ll be some stuff in between before the actual world cup starts)…praying for another slice of life type of scene like when they were all in shibuya after bllk vs u20s!!

BAROU BEST FATHER OF THE YEAR no wonder he was so good at parenting nagi bro has experience 😭 and i agree barou/yuki’s novels were def on the deeper and more emotional side while still being relatable which made them really fun to read 😩 aryu’s made me giggle a bit tbh because it was so unserious and yet serious at the same time as is to be expected from him…i can’t believe you predicted him being bullied though 😢

[the-sprog]

EPISODE 4

-i jsut realized the paradox prism is probably what they're calling the broken parts, while paradox emerald is for the whole thing. still don't know what the difference between a chaos and paradox one is.

-OOH purple girls is here again? No it's Big nvm. Does Shadow just never exist in these universes? is it because he found a chaos emerald just in time? why WAS HE looking for those? does he just do that every once in a while? was that for the fight with eggman? he didn't even do anything with that.

-niiiice the shoes and gloves adapt to the universe

-I love you Knuckles. I believe you. trees talk. I can see that. what's on his knuckles? i fully thoght the spikes were part of his body. are they not?

-God sonic is so stupid.is he not wondering where the shard is? should've called them shards btw instead of prisms

-WOAH wolverine moment!

-they fully don't have robots? does tails not exist in this universe? they have no tech, absolutely none?

-NEW YOKE? WAS IT NEW YOLK THIS ENTIRE TIME AND THE SUBTITLES LIKED TO ME?? TWICE?? WHY NEW YOKE

-Ok now sonic is callinf them shards. see he's smart afterall.

-I like mangey tails omg hes feral this is amazing omg

-i love this universe so much omg

-How many times am I going to call sonic an idiot? too many probably. its deserved. it comes from a place of love.

-ok backstory. bark is edible though right. also i havent specukated on what the monster is.

-I really fucking love mangey

-I feel like sonic would've helped regardless. prim didn't need to lie to him like that

-ooh loop-de-loop comeback

-I fully believe Gnarly can talk to plants

-oh no that's so sad cmon not the frog sob

-is.. is amy the monster? shes the only missing. but laos shadow is missing. and i know theres someone called sticks or something in some canons and shes kinda feral?

-it's some kind of harpy? a chocobo? ostrich?

-"enough running" never thought I'd hear that from sonic the hedgehog

-A FLICKY?

-OH. CMON PRIM YOU COULD0VE SAID THAT EARLIER

-"i hate spikes" bru you HAVE spikes. also that hammer? totally Amy.

-Ok she looks cool as shit. she's got a mohawk. nice.

-Sonic does not get the concept of alternate universes does he

-Are amy and sonic siblings?

-Thorn Rose. Of course. wait is she Amy Rose in the... Prime verse?

-HUH? HIS KIND?

-She knows the shard thing! The great green though?

-ok not really a mohawk but i like it anyways.

-they're starving, thorn. what do you eat? that you're so much better?

-oooh that's why the trees ar eso big! theyre feeding on the prism

-why does she want it? nvm probably to fic the forest

ok another "alternate amy is about to kill sonic" cliffhanger

EPISODE 5

-aww flashback to them being friends again!! I love those!

-WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY! he keeps dhowing up! who is Big???

-i think it's the right amount of sentimental but yeah ofc he doesn't get it

-truly feels like a boss battle

-did he just get his head stuck in the cage bars?

-the chase scene is really fun. really seems like a video game level

-gosh gnarly never change

-BIG IS A CAT? BUT ROUGE ISN'T?

-ok so they were disfiguring the place lol they weren't following gatherers rules

-bless him he's trying

-GODDAMMIT YOU GUYS IT WAS WORKING

-Thorn if going for the kill

-he's getting the tree thing. nice.

-no no no he's got a point. humans are part of the ecosystem, and taking them out would seriously damage it. and also taking the light yeah.

-birdie is the actual name of that... flicky?

-IS HE TALKING TO THE TREE? WAS GNARLY RIGHT? I always believed in him.

-OFC birdie can fly dude.

-I mean... I'm on thorn's side though, they WERE destrying the jungle

-birdie's the same thingy as in the flashback!!

-Mangey kearned to fly he's gonna be a manace

-are the shape of the eyes indicative fo the species? like some of them have two eyeballs, while amy and sonic have one like a unibrow. I didn't pay attention to shadow in this regard but. does he have only one as well?

-oooooh the frog!

-hes gotta say "gotta go fast" at least once per episode it seems

-ah fuck it's a back to the future mechanic. Shadow i s in the nothing and sonic needs to... well, go fast.

-hey back in new yolk!! and the revolution started huh?

I'm watching Sonic prime because you can't give me multiverse and unlikely allies and think I won't watch it.

But this is the first piece of Sonic media I've ever consumed (sonic underground doesn't count cause I remember nothing of it, and neither do the films) so. Live blog lmao.

-"Shadow is... Complicated. More on that later" can't wait bro

-Ok rouge the bat is a good guy? I thought she was vaguely anti hero ish.

-what the fuck is a paradox emerald. I stopped at chaos emeralds. What's the difference? How are they created? This one was just... In a cave???

-"sonic boom of a headache" ah ah I see what you did there.

-whats with the knuckles slander!!!

-THATS NEW YORK??????

-so they're not allowed to talk to other people I guess?

-why are they making it seem like it's his shoes that make him fast????

-are rings currency? I was under the impression they were currency. Why is he looking for cash rn

-fickeis???

-he knows what smog is. How does he know what smog is. He lives in a forest.

.

.

Does he live in a forest? It's like... All green.

OH ITS WHAT EGGMAN WANTED! A WORLD RESEMBLING HIM AND NOT SONIC.

-What is the prism shatter??? Do they mean the paradox emerald? So sure they called it the paradox emerald and not the paradox prism.

-WHATS WITH THE TAILS SLANDER!!!

-Yes I know he insulted sonic as well but I think sonic deserved it in that moment.

-ok shadow was just. There. Dudes not even helping. You live here you asshole! Do your part!

-"Tails never gets upset" that's unhealthy!

-is 1992 the year the first sonic game came out? Something tells me that's the year Sonic's first game came out.

-...what's the difference between a trap and a trick?

-why Rouge! The only thing I know is that you're a cat!

-WHY ARE THEY CALLINF IT A PARADOX PRISM NOW?

-the fact the place IS called "the loop-de-loop" and it's not just what Sonic calls it is. Priceless.

-ngl I thought sonic was gonna be more... Sassy? Clever? WITTY! but no. He's a lot more like how I imagined Knuckles to be. Knuckles is my favorite btw. I know nothing of him other than he's vaguely mean and dumb. But not like Shadow's angsty edgy mean. More like a jock kinda mean.

-also no one explained why it's called the paradox prism. Or why Rouge knows what it is/that that's what Eggman was looking for.

-oh there you go end of flashback. Also where the FUCK is shadow. How later sonic? How much later?

-Rusty Rose?? That's Amy isn't it? Like Evil alternate universe Amy.

-i don't know who Babbles is.

-IS THAT A BOP IT?

-Ok no it isn't.

- I don't understand what the shoes malfunctioning means. Is his speed artificial??? Are they like Spider-man's web-shooters?

-EGGMAN IS A FATHER? WHO'S THE MOM???

-Also Rose said there were other rebels. Wonder if it's the same squad- oh they answered my question. Rouge is not Rebel. And I guess Knuckles is also a rebel. Don't know if Tails is gonna be good or not. Cause I remember seeing something about a Tails with robot... Tails.

-YOURE IN AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THINGS WOULD BE THE SAME.

-ok I was right. His name is... Nine? Also these episodes are really long.

-oh he still has the regular tails. It's more of a doc oc situation. I thought they were prosthetics.

-GEEZ "I was trained by the misery of life and this dark and heartless city" GEEZ

-gonna assume he's gonna be like "why'd you save me??? Why would you do this for me??"

-oh lord game footage that's cool as shit.

-sonic is not gonna pierce this together is he? And Nine is not gonna be like "yeah alright this guy is insane"

-MR.DR.EGGMAN. that's... Too much.

-Aww they're doing a little Tails bragging moment. Talking about how they're friends that's sweet.

-CHAOS COUNCIL? We're back to the chaos nomenclature??? what happened to the paradox shit? the hardest part of this is not that I don't have any sonic knowledge, it's that I have SOME sonic lore knowledge gained through osmosis and it's clashing with the lore that they're trying to establish in this cartoon.

-Nine is going for the full spider aesthetic huh?

-yeah. the tails are cool. I've always liked tails too, he's just too smart for me and i feel awkward when i don't understand him.

-COOL SHOES UPGRADE. Ok so the shoes are like... making it so that he doesn't explode due to the natural energy in his body, which i assume is what makes him fast. and that he'd be faster if he didn't have them, but also... more explode-y.

-HE ISN'T MISSING MEMORIES YOU IDIOT

-Oh the baby is back. I don't know how to feel about the baby.

-BLUE STREAK lol

-Ok that's an pixar's incredibles looking trap.

-OH SHIT SHE'S A ROBOT? oh not a robot. Rose is a cyborg and the way she talks about it amkes me sad.

-Nine??? is good or?? confused about his alliances.

-What. who. what. there's a whole family??? is... eggman their dad or?? who's the mom?

-of course he has hair in this "perfect" universe.

-are they like the chaos emeralds that can fuse to become the master emerald? and part of a whole??

-what's with casual dehumanization

-gosh he's such a dumbass but like an annoying one but also like indearingly so?

-I'm never gonna remember which eggaman is which. except babbles cause. yknow. toddler.

-omg the lasers effect is so ucking cool!! thay's a real nice scene ahhhh-

-they're like video games levels. alright. for now I'm really enying the visuals and the storytelling methods. on the story itself i'll see when it really gets going.

-oh no.

-ok I like the baby.

-OH THE PLOT THICKENS! the same energy as what powers the city? is the city powered by the emeralds? or by like- SHADOW??? IS THAT YOU-

-oh flashback 2. I don't know why but somethign about Tails' design looked... off. he felt naked. does he usually have like a scarf? goggles?

-Knuckled is just... hanging on the plane oh lord i'm dying.

-WHAT DO THE RINGS DO??? "in case eggeman gers in a lucky shot: rings" what??

-DOES SHADOW HAVE ROLLERBLADES?? ok he's raising on my list of favourite characters.

[jooniez]

hey!!! i'm so sorry i haven't messaged you in awhile :( this week has been kinda hectic but i missed you and ily! i have so much i want to talk to you about so let's start with the BLACK SWAN PERFORMANCE?????!!! IT WAS SO WONDERFUL I WASN'T PREPARED FOR IT ALL. i love the choreography for it so much and their outfits were *chef's kiss* i also liked how they were barefoot, i think that was a nice touch! the performance makes me even more excited to see what the rest of the album is –🍒 (1/?)

going to be like! since black swan isn’t even the lead single, it makes me even more nervous for what the lead single is going to sound like and what the choreography will be like! i’m excited but i don’t know how i’ll survive it. what are your thoughts on the black swan performance??? also i want to talk about the rest of james corden. i loved the interview, they seemed so comfortable and they were sooo adorable. and they played hide and seek with ashton kutcher!!!! –🍒 (2/?)one of my favorite parts of it was when ashton found seokjin and carried him over his shoulder sjafdajfa i literally died. and the way he carried jimin too!!! also i’m jealous that james got to hold taegi’s hands :(((( like honestly it made me so soft :( what are your thoughts on everything??? also i’m pretty sure we’re getting carpool karaoke so i’m excited for that! sorry this was so long but i just have so many thoughts fajfadsk –🍒 (3/?)AHHHH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION EGO!!! WE‘RE GETTING EGO IN 2 DAYS AND IM SO EXCITED FOR IT AHDJSKAKS. who do you think is doing it? i think it could be hobi but i’ve seen a lot of people say jungkook, so i’m honestly not sure what to think at this point –🍒 (4/4)

hi angel!! pls don’t apologize!! you don’t have to message me if you don’t want to, pls don’t feel pressured, especially if you’re busy. I completely understand, college has been kicking my ass as well so I really haven’t been as active on here either 😞 also don’t worry about the length or your asks!! i love talking with u so it wouldn’t bother me even if u sent 50 lol ✨ OH GOD THE BLACK SWAN PERFORMANCE!!! dude i literally got chills, I was just staring at the screen clutching my face because i didnt even know how to respond to such beauty 🥺🖤💫✨ it was honestly better than anything i could’ve imagined, like i knew it would be amazing cause its bts duh, but they really went above and beyond. every time i think there’s no way bts could possibly outdo themselves and every single time they do!!! it’s insane, they truly are the best artists in the world right now, i would even argue the best artists ever but maybe im just biased lol 💕 their outfits were gorgeous, the set was absolutely stunning, like the water effect on the ground + the fact that they were barefoot worked really well and made it that much more beautiful. i loved everything about it and im really grateful to James Corden for giving them such a great stage and really honoring their performance 💖 oh go i know, im so nervous with excitement for the album. the boys are really hyping this album up more so then they’ve done in the past and its k i l l i n g me. im not prepared but im so desperate for the 21st to be here already 😭 but yeah, like you said they all looked so comfortable and happy during the entirety of James Corden, and i think in his vlive tae even said it was his favorite apperance on a talk show so far, and that just makes me so incredibly happy. James is always so sweet with them and makes a effort to include all of them and make them feel comfortable and i really really appreciate that, and im sure the boys do as well. I was laughing so hard at the hide and seek bit oh my god, it was so CUTE!!! and they all looked like they had so much fun, it warms my heart. omgjbhjsbshjs the part where ashton threw jin over his shoulder sent me over the edge it was too funny. and yoongi looked so happy to have his hand held and james was so cute when he put his other hand on top of yoongis as well, it was so sweet omg 😢♥ It’s my favorite american interview/talk show that they’ve done so far and I just want to thank james again for being so great to them 💞 ALSO HE CONFIRMED CARPOOL KARAOKE!!!! so we should be getting that soon. he usually releases it a little while after the actual show & i cannot wait to see it i’ve been waiting for them to do carpool karaoke since they started interviewing in America and now we’re finally getting it!!! im so grateful for all the fun things james is doing with them, its a nice break from all the other annoying western interviews they have to deal with. YES EGO!!! im so excited i honestly forgot about it because of getting back into school but i cant waitjsnkjsnn i really love how bighit actually gave us a schedule for when things are dropping so know we can at least mentally prepare ourselves a bit yknow? everything about this album feels huge, its making me that much more excited 🥺 personally, i think it’ll be hobi because they seem to still be following the intro pattern that they’ve set but who knows!! also, that interesting that people are saying jk??? i wonder why they think that. but regardless of who it is im so excited to hear it!! everything they do is amazing!! but omg if they brought back rapper jk for ego or something i might pass out ……………. 💀

[grlfriends]

giovanna give us your #controversial kpop takes!! you seem passionate abt ***** being mediocre 👀👀👀

omg anon this is definitely going under a read more

ok so it's not that I think they are mediocre but rather that I know how much being from a big company can determinate your success, onces will go on and on about how much jyp was broke before them and how sixteen had a low viewership rate and how jyp was almost "out" of the big3 (a lie bc if that was truly the case then yg wouldnt be considered big3 rn, big3 is about how much influence and power you have on media yes it's related to how rich the company is but not all that matters when we all know that's not even being considered by anyone lmao) but at the end of the day no matter what they were still under big3?? the amount of money they had to even START a show about the group and then to film the like ooh ahh mv was huge man, onces make it seem like they had 10 dollars and a dream when that was definitely not the case, I know I seem bitter about this but bc I'm a fan of a group who was truly in that situation it just seems so fake and attention seeking?? yall know how much an mv like like ohh ahh and cheer up cost?? yall know how much producers and outfits and hair and makeup and studio and everything else costs?? jyp was always powerful and just bc they were in a bad time and bc they got more rich after twice it doesnt mean they were # broke before them, of course luck is a factor in any situation but let's be honest, do you think if a company was that broke and if twice had done that badly in their debut an mv like cheer up would even exist?? it's expensive y'all

also about the mediocre thing: I dont think they are mediocre but rather that no twice track has made me fall in love with them, I do like some songs but that's it, I feel like after their cheer up promotions jyp was very smart and played all the right moves and got them even bigger, they are not mediocre but we all know jyp has a fucked up ear that has rejected THE iu and THE yuju which is now considered top3 best vocalists of the 3rd generation (along with eunji from apink and wendy from rv) and I dont think they have been necessarily giving them the songs that fit their voices the best, some of them are able to adapt better (nayeon) and some are not (ie: momo voice was too deep for some of her parts in more and more), at the end of the day it still sounds nice if you're not listening to the live locals, their choreography is okay but is more focused on going viral than anything lmao, it's not bad but you can definitely see the comeback their team opened their email box and found out about all the emails about onces having to defend themselves bc twice had easy choreographies and SOME members were still not doing okay vocally and then decided to turn up their difficultly level to catch up with the current trend among ggs at the time ON THE TOP OF making them a token gg (along bp) to white gays listen and like bc they werent cute like that anymore and were doing hard choreographies so they were # not like the other ggs and this only expanded twice fan numbers in western countries (I also think that the bigger a group is the more their fans get obsessed with them and stop caring about their song quality and only listen to them bc they're a fan not bc they truly enjoy the music anymore you know?? I feel like feel special was okay but if a smaller gg like idk weki meki (I know it's not their sound but bear with me) or even a nugu gg like pink fantasy had released it it wouldnt have achieved 10% of the numbers it did or even made these groups have a bigger fanbase you know??) so do I think if they were from an actual broke nugu company they would have be as famous as they are now releasing the same songs? no and there's nothing wrong with that, kpop isn't a talent show and it's more about how well known you are with the most basic stuff

once again, I know this is too big of an essay for someone who has said they dont think they are mediocre but honestly that's my opinion and at the end of the day it doesn't matter bc they're still million sellers but that's my opinion ✌🏻 also do I think they're the nation's gg? no that's snsd and will always be

other hot and spicy takes:

bgs should go cute again, where's my fresh and energizing concepts?? astro why did you leave us in the dark?? sm why did you ruin nct dream when you could have made them comeback under another name/unit and make dream remain with the cute concept still

if any bigger gg had released queen by 3ye everyone would have lost their minds, it's the girlboss anthem everyone is looking for and no one knows about, everything from choreography to the lyrics is what blinks think bp is doing in terms of power

I miss gfriend intros so much :(( source PLEASE listen to this poor soul and give us intros, i cant stop thinking about how good the sots album intro would have been with that yuju siren call notes

also about gfriend but ma'am. apple supremacy, this is hands down their best release and best album this year (even tho I'm in live with three of cups and grwm for as long and the songs have been out) and also I wish crossroad had a bigger impact in the instrumental, the guitar should have been louder and it should have appeared sooner, the post chorus (that part they sing about the star) should have something more so it wouldn't feel as flat as it kinda did

↳ and I think that the beginning and bridge choreography should have been not that, specially the bridge..... that arm movement and the walking becomes okay after a while and getting used to it but still, it should have been anything else, let sinb choreograph a part of the title track for a change please

normalize people saying gfriend were robbed in 2016, rough WAS the 2016 soty and no one can tell me otherwise, people were so mad a nugu gg had the catchiest song of the year 2 years in a row (me gustas tu and then rough) they literally boycotted my girls 🤒

CONTROVERSIAL but I dont think rv has the best choreography and bsides in kpop..... their fans are just too used to noise and saying everything is # a concept (but the Russian roulette mini album DAMN it was amazing)

↳ also their title tracks..... it's been a wild ride but the ride is in flames and about to explode

I miss seventeen fun songs, now they're all about being edgy and dark and it's okay I guess but I miss their early days so so much, everything since thanks (even tho it was released close to my bday I have to admit I dont think it's that good either....) has not been it and it made me stop being a fan, I loved them so so much once and now all I have is old pretty u performances and funny gifs of them on their gose eps 😔 svt comeback with the pastel colors I miss those days of your youth

↳ also I cant believe pledis still has trainees when they're probably going to debut another bg when svt enters military years and then will be working in their solos and/or units since a gg wil be boycotted by pledis after 2 years maximum

the loona lore is 100% more about orbits going crazy over anything than BBC actually planning out stuff, their mvs are like any other aesthetic mv y'all

↳ also on the loona topic I dont think they're the powerful dancers people make them out to be, they have beautiful choreographies and are in sync that's all

↳ can orbits please STOP the ch*ves madness, yves is so straight it hurts and people are turning this into a l*rry of kpop almost

↳ when is haseul coming back 😭 people are calling Kim lip the leader for the longest time and it makes me mad seeing haseul forgotten like that.... maybe when she comes back loona will stop having those sm adjacent (derogatory) songs

I cant believe korean people have turned as you wish by wjsn the top end of the year song to enter the new year when dreams come true is RIGHT!! THERE!!! as is just much better by simply being good where as you wish, well, it wishes 😶

↳ ot13 wjsn was the best and their only good releases as ot10 was boogie up and save me save you, yuehua and starship if any of you break ot13 I'm going insane and beating everyone involved

cant believe non stop was the sing that made oh my girl famous when closer exists and they were not problematic yet, non stop is an attack on peoples ears and sucks so bad there's nothing remotely good or even okay about it (actually, their last good song was a-ing bc that's when jine was there 😢 other than that bungee was okay and banana allergy monkey was quite catchy too) also yooa has an annoying voice idk how they chose HER to debut solo

[junqkook]

Hi. I’d like to start this off with letting you know that I am sooooo HAPPY that you’re back and motivated. You are such an amazing writer and I absolutely love everything that you write 💖 I just read young wolf without ever seeing game of thrones or knowing anything of it an now I don’t know how to react.... holy shit your writing hit on a deeper level and I cannot tell you how much I cried and was emotionally invested in the whole thing. I was caught in the middle many times. - 👀

anonymous said: I legit couldn’t believe it. The way you express your characters emotions and point of views was so real and raw I was so captured by it. Your writing is truly extraordinary and I legit cried real tears at the ending. I had to take a moment to stop and digest what I just read. I genuinely was so in shock and surprised with how amazing your comeback fic was. I knew you were excited about this for a long time and I honestly feel the same way. Part of me really wanted them to turn out happy. - 👀

anonymous said: But I understand it couldn’t been that way. I truly loved every single bit of it and man did I just wanted to kill lord Frey soooo badly. Bro, on a real level, your writing hits another level. I can’t wait to read the other ones (even if my heart can’t take it). I do have one question though: was oc’s mother actually giving her a fertility drink be cause I don’t know why I have a suspicion it was a kind of poison? Sorry if I sound a little crazy, but the vial was emphasized a lot of times. - 👀

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH you are so sweet thank you so much for reading, enjoying, and sending this about the young wolf :( i was def so excited about this fic and am so happy with how it turned out, i’m so happy that u also enjoyed it and are excited!!

you def don’t sound crazy at all!! ur right, it wasn’t a fertility drink, it was small doses of poison to make sure she didn’t get pregnant! i’m so happy u picked up on it omg

[thesinglesjukebox]

THE 1975 - PEOPLE

[5.56]

The 1975 you know is gone! THEY'RE HARDCORE NOW!!!

Alex Clifton: As far as the lyrics & delivery go: a truly punk song, a well-needed wakeup call, and Healey's screaming is how I have felt literally every day for the last four years, which I deeply appreciate. As an actual single: I can listen to this maybe once a month because it's super dissonant and honestly does not help with my constant anxiety that the world will end shortly. [5]

Kylo Nocom: Rightfully devastated punk that would probably sound a lot better if it didn't just seem like yet another damned attempt by the 1975 at appeasing the indie crowd through art-y posturing. Really, throw shit at their debut all you want, they knew exactly what they wanted to do and did all of it with near-perfect pop sheen. Their obsession with their own legacy has led to their musical downfall, and now we have to listen to them condescend and uphold it as somehow significant, as if there aren't artists with significantly more to say than Matty Healy that don't have the resources to have their voices heard. Eclecticism does not equal talent; Healy's inanities will not save us. [3]

Alfred Soto: "Syndrums? What syndrums?" Blustering through a rawk number showing little sweat, The 1975 write a Marilyn Manson take on "Love It If We Made It." It likely portends nothing except increased facility. [5]

Ryo Miyauchi: "People" as just the music is something I can't resist. Matty strutting to the beat of loud ass rock riffs with the tones bleeding from the seams? The guy singing like a snot-nosed know-it-all jerk in love with the spotlight, audibly kissing the camera? He may not be good at screaming as much as he think he does, but him simply giving himself to the moment sounds good enough. But if he also hopes to say something, and for me to feel like he actually did, well, this isn't exactly it. I've long understood that Matty lives in the same fucked-up world as me -- that's what "Love It If We Made It" made sure to do after all -- but I'm honestly exhausted from songs that's reportage and not much else. I can see the world burn down from my own eyes too! If Matty, or whoever else in pop, wants to say something, I need them to expand upon that blank between "republic's a banana, ignore if you wanna" and "fuck it, I'm just gonna get food, girls, gear." Ignoring is easy, I know, but that self-care via self-indulgence can't do much to help anymore. What exists beyond it when it's no longer the go-to step? Matty doesn't have the answer for that here. [6]

Maxwell Cavaseno: The only man who apparently decided that The (International) Noise Conspiracy was just what the world needed, long after even the actual T(I)NC was dissolved, would naturally be Matty Healy. Plenty of 'people' have misattributed this song to sounding like Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" which is an association I just simply don't hear at all. Instead I get a lot more of Manic Street Preachers, The Hives, The Blood Brothers, T(I)NC and even their frontman's prior band Refused's last moments. When the soon to be released 1975 album was discussed even in the build for last year's listless and dissatisfying A Brief Inquiry... constant invocations of the band's past as a journeyman post-hardcore act that probably would've died a death in the lower-tier nostalgia bin alongside earthtone9, Devil Sold His Soul, SikTH, Rinoa or The Ocean Fracture. The fodder of so many long gone myspace pages and collections of patches. Now it feels that era is being discussed with a genuine affectionate nostalgia again; and if there's anything this band loves to key in on, it's genre nostalgia. Do they land it? Maybeish. Straight Ahead Rock has admittedly felt less capable in The 1975's hands unless filtered into Glastonbury Festival Anthems a la "Robbers", so hearing them try to defiantly thrash while remaining groovy is either endearing or slight. Still, I admittedly can't think of a 1975 album yet where the key single was the leading one, so for now it feels just like a proposition of yet another shape-shifting going down. [6]

Oliver Maier: Post-hardcore with traces of 13-era Blur could have been the key to finally converting me to the church of the 1975, but this still isn't doing it for me. I don't doubt that Matty Healy is concerned about *vague hand gesture* the state of things, but for a band so aware that sincerity is indeed scary, I always feel as though their ventures into new sonic territory are the product of a desire to impress rather than earnestly communicate, that they might dip their toes into afrobeats or flirt with trap drums only because people don't expect them to. Which isn't a crime! But the punk signifiers here feel like just that: signifiers, gesturing at a genre that's all about urgency in an attempt to reverse-engineer that same quality, but capturing none of its essential recklessness. I prefer the unhinged vocal here to Healy's usual crooning, but paired with lyrics that modulate between the generic, the outright dreadful and the word "fuck" a whole bunch, it's just not enough to dispel the impression of a calculated facsimile of protest music. I could see myself softening on this if the rest of Notes on a Conditional Form sticks to the same sound, which might suggest some real commitment rather than the sense that the 1975 are still just trying on new masks and expecting an A for effort. But I'm not holding my breath. [4]

Rachel Bowles: I was lucky enough to hear this song for the first time live and witness the crowd erupt with infectious anger and joy- somehow knowing every single word of this days old song. There was something truly palpable, political and vital there, Healy has told the press he's never felt more like he's in a punk band and experiencing 'People' live, it's not hard to hear why. At the time I described it as "a Marilyn Manson meets Glassjaw-esque punk screed with enough F-bombs to satisfy even the most discerning teenage contrarian... an anthem that screams with the rage of billions of millennial and Gen Z 99 percenters, powerlessly watching the world burn (literally) as Donald Trump and Boris Johnson pat themselves on the back."Had I not clearly seen Healy & co in front of me, I would never have pegged 'People' as a 1975 song- this new venture into raw punk, however impressive, is just another string in the bow of band that is constantly reinventing themselves. [8]

Joshua Copperman: Let's unpack the worst line in "People"! Part 1: "My generation wanna fuck Barack Obama": A decade ago this might have been a reference to "Crush on Obama," but now any given Gen Z socialist will tell you that Obama wasn't progressive enough, that he was a neoliberal centrist, etc etc. So it's more like fuck Barack Obama. Double meanings! Part 2: "living in a sauna": Could be a climate change reference, but with the next line it's more likely to be a hotbox joke. More double meanings! Except the idea that Earth is itself a hotbox is both funnier and more evocative. Part 3: "Legal marijuana": Both a long-delayed Halsey comeback for that one line in "Colors" and a catalyst for even more double meanings! there's the aforementioned hotbox joke, or it's the ever-ubiquitous "using drugs to numb the pain" thing. Conclusion: This line both says a lot of things and says absolutely nothing, which is what anyone who hates this song will think it does. Oh right, there's a song attached. And it's fantastic. The mix of a gritty aesthetic with bright, clean guitar tones. The ability to make a tuneless song sound as catchy as "Chocolate" but inexplicably less anoying. This is everything I've wanted the 1975 to do, or anyone to do when everything in all genres sounds so listless and geared towards Playlists. Even Idles pandered with the whole 'ten points to Griffyndor' thing. The 1975 is virtually only pandering to emo kids with this one. And edgelords, hopefully putting them on a path to salvation instead of hatred. Or not. Whoever it's for, I'm glad it exists. [9]

Edward Okulicz: Honestly, I know that throwing reductionist comments at male pop stars stepping outside their apparent lane isn't a curative against how such things have been levelled at women over the years, but my initial, and second, and third, and fourth reaction to this song is "omg Matty Healy just shut up and be a pop star, you know, something you're really good at." I'll be over here in sensitivity training if you need me. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[k-llama-llama]

Interviewed

Stray Kids AU: 10th member

Tori x Stray Kids

Interviews are never Tori’s favourite, but this one takes a rather personal turn.

A/N: This is a short little baby post...because OMG the comeback is literally in 8 hours. This is my LAST post of the debut era!!!

Requests are OPEN :Talk to me, why don’t ya?

MASTERLIST

“Okay, okay...” The interviewer was laughing. “We’ve had a great time so far. I’m loving hearing about all of your motivations and approaches to this first comeback.”

They were filming a pre-comeback interview, which would air the next day. The host had gone down the line, asking each person about their work ethic, why they were proud of this album, etc.

Now it was Tori’s turn. 

“Okay, so Tori.” The interviewer looked at his notes, paused for a moment and then looked back up. “We have two questions for you.”

“Hit me!” She grinned.

“Firstly, considering you're the only girl in this group, I can assume that you have different role models than the boys. I know Hyunjin said that he really admires some members of GOT7. Who would you say that your role models are? Especially in how you approached this album?”

Tori thought for a moment. All of the boys turned to look at her as she answered. “Truthfully, there are so many idols that I look up to. I would say that HyunA is one of the people I respect most, and I certainly would say that I strive to have her level of confidence. As far as music style goes, lately I’ve been loving Taeyeon’s style, and of course I’ve grown with her since Girl’s Generation.”

The host nodded. “I was lucky enough to hear the album early, and I have to say that I can certainly see elements of both of their styles in your music.”

“Tori-noona loves their music. If she’s picking music, it’s almost always Girl’s Generation or Hyuna.” Jeongin said.

Seungmin nodded. “I would say that that has even had an influence on our styles.”

“That’s really interesting.” The man looked back at his notes. He seemed to hesitate before he asked the next question. “Our next question...considering you are the only female member of the group, has there ever been any pressure to avoid dating scandals and such?”

Tori laughed out loud. The man looked startled. “I’m sorry!” She apologized. “But really, I’ve never thought about any of the boys that way. We’re a team, not a source for drama.”

Chan nodded. “I totally agree. Fans sometimes tell us about things like that, but we truly work just like one big happy family.”

“But we are very dateable.” Changbin noted. “Just saying.”

The host chuckled. “I actually do have another question for you, if you don’t mind?”

Tori smiled. “Of course not.”

“I actually just thought of this myself. Did you ever feel that, considering you are the only female member...”

“So he’s mentioned.” Hyunjin muttered.

“That there was a lot riding on this comeback?”

Tori tilted his head. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

“Did you ever think that this might be the deciding factor in whether or not you get to stay in the group? Some fans are still divided, and of course you were an unconventional choice for the original survival show. Did you ever think that a weak performance in this comeback would lead to your removal from Stray Kids.”

Tori gaped at him. “I...”

“That’s ridiculous.” Her head whipped around, and her gaze focused on Jisung, who was glaring at the interviewer.”

“Han?” He asked.

“That so stupid. Did you seriously think that we were keeping her in the group on a trial basis?”

“I was just wondering-”

Jisung cut him off. “Tori is as much a part of this group as any of us. She’s not up for elimination.”

Tori was shocked into silence.

Chan jumped in. “I completely agree. I can’t speak to Tori’s personal feelings, but there was never a moment where any of us thought that she might leave after this comeback.”

The interviewer looked thoroughly lectured, and turned to Tori. “Tori? Your thoughts, since the question was directed at you.”

Tori swallowed and shook her head, mind still reeling from the fact that Jisung had been the one to speak up first. “I never thought that way.”

Hyunjin clapped. “Great! Now that the stupid questions are over with. What’s next?”

“You can cut that question out of the final interview, right?” Woojin asked.

[sambashua]

11 questions tag~ (again)

ayeeee i was tagged back by these binches and this is what i have to say i love you all these were all great questions i had a great time but we need a hard set squad name i vote either “get emma to love stray kids squad” or “god tier squad” idk man let’s do it and wonkwanhaojosh is too damn much and it messes w the wonankwan vibe that has a flow what is wonkwanhaojosh even okay any way

sister’s q’s @yongpal-i 

1. Make a 10-song playlist for your current mood. this playlist which is basically a condensed version of this playlist.

2. What vine do you quote the most? idk man you’d know better than me? maybe it’s an avacado thanks? OH FUCK IT’S I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY OR “hwhat?”

3. What do you value most in a friend? loyalty and humor!

4. If you could learn any kpop choreography instantly, what would you learn? umm legit so many you know me haaaaaaa but maybe dream in a dream by ten bc that is some lit shit... or coloring book by omg or love cherry motion by choerry bc i’ve been meaning to learn them for so long.. OH FRICK MY FIRST AND LAST THO?? i mean i kinda know all the moves but can i do them? no... idk i legit have a list of dances to learn on my phone there’s literally like 40 rip

5. If you go to your Tumblr activity page, who does it say is your “number one fan?” @s-lay-ing :D then @strawberryboo :D then @lipstick-chathao :D then @justsomekpopstuff :D so many blessed faves! but sorry i haven’t been on in 800 years?

6. What is your ideal clothing style? ummm comfy is my style but i wish i could be like.. chic comfy tbh

7. What is your favorite Snapchat filter? the one w the hearts bc i have a lot of love to give

8. What subject would you like to study, but wouldn’t necessarily want to make a career out of? (for example: I really want to learn about botany!) um all languages??? ever?? i mean they will help me w my career tho idk

9. Would you rather be constantly half an hour early to everything, or constantly 15 minutes late? i mean.. i’m always late but i wish i was that early person so yeah

10. Would you rather have a single day to spend with your top bias or a week to spend with your number 2 bias? um?? an attack?? so yes i would rather spend a day w wonu??? ofc?? but my dilemma is that if i think logically maybe i should go for jaehyun for a week? bc english?? like w wonu we wouldn’t be able to talk which would be so sad:(

11. If you could bring back any disbanded OR inactive group, who would you bring back? umMMMM WONDER GIRLS??? but on the other hand that brought us gashina sigh... maybe uniq just so you can pull yourself together tbh

jamie’s q’s @indiepoptime 

1) If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life what would it be and why? pretty u!!!!!!! bc!!!! it’s like one of my favorite songs ever? but also when you love someone that’s an ult fave for me as well.. idk man

2) If you were in a kpop group what would your group be called and what would your fandom name be? i have a vision w ideas from the minds of @strawberryboo and @yongpal-i and @lipstick-chathao okay so our groups would be BINCH and me and emma would have a subunit called SMAE... our fans would be BONCHES and specific mir stans would be mirbles thank you

3) If you could acquire mastery over ONE skill instantly, what would you pick and why? um i say languages every fucking time for these things so... i’ll say how to talk to people without looking like an idiot that’s be cool

4) First reaction if you spotted your favorite celebrity on the street? i’d probably try to act chill on the outside and then go home and cry akfdjhgfdk idk if i’d try to talk to them?? or just like?? admire them from a distance?? idk i might say hello and tell them i love them

5) First reaction if your favorite celebrity followed you on your favorite social media site? delete EVERYTHING but like also maybe i’d just like post a bunch of positive love things actually bc!! they’d actually see it!!

6) Snap your fingers and you get to steal your favorite outfit off of a kpop idol. What outfit do you pick, off of whom, and why? well everyone know i’m a hO for wonu’s let’s dance boom boom sweater i think?? wHY IS THE PICTURE SO BIG AHHAHAHAHAHAHA

also a big fan of all of chungha’s outfits from why don’t you know if i could pull them off!

7) If you were to get a painless tattoo that you could remove with the press of a button, what would you get and where would you get it? ohhh part of the reason i won’t get a tattoo is that i am very indecisive and have no idea what i’d get! but maybe something on my side or on my wrist if it was painless? bc wrists are very sensitive.. i’d get smth simple probably maybe flowers or a quote or lyrics? i’m not sure but probably colorless and minimal!

8) What is your most prized possession? maybe my computer? or my camera? i’m not a super materialistic person i don’t think but as long as i have friends and memories that’s what i care abt:D

9) What’s a YouTube/online challenge that you have always wanted to try? literally so many! before kpop i was really really REALLY into youtube ajdkghf i’d maybe try to who knows you better sister or best friend? i like all the bf ones as well but i don’t have one ahhhhhh maybe i’d do vlogmas ahahha

10) You get a guarantee that your favorite celebrity will see your social media post but you only get 100 characters. What do you say to them? i’d tell them i love them and support them no matter what they do! and that they should stay happy and healthy and their well being comes before anyone else’s.

11) You wake up in your dream room. What does it look like? LITERALLY BLACKPINK HOUSE LIKE DID YOU SEEEEE IT but i’d have big windows bc i like natural light! i’d want some nice pictures up and a rlly soft bedspread maybe w a cool headboard? idk something that looks clean and open!

emma’s q’s @strawberryboo 

1. if you had to chose one kpop stage outfit to wear for the rest of your life which would you choose? umm okay soo i’ll say jimin hopeless love just bc like damn how epic would i be all the time and also i think i’m tall enough to fill it out

i also think n.flying’s recent outfits are very fun!! and anything wonpil has worn onstage is prime

2. favorite music video aesthetic? any of loona’s mvs?? or gashina like everyone talks abt the dance but everything abt that mv is me sorry to break it to you

3. Group you are most excited for in 2018? for debut? stray kids or loona!! but also the unit and mixnine groups?? idk what’s gonna be the outcome but i’m hoping for like jbj level tier to come out at somepoint idk

4. Recommend me some underrated kpop songs/groups? um! i aways struggle reccing you songs jkdhs but i’ll rec you i’m jelly baby by aoa cream aoa isn’t necessarily underrated but the members in the subunit are! also dawon stars in the mv so i thought you’d enjoy! also deepened by brave girls i’m not sure if you’ve ever listened to rollin’ either tbh??? but that’s them doing a fun lil dp and being cute af!! um omg these are all gonna be gg tbh and i’m not even super sure what you’ve heard and haven’t heard???? so here’s a few: why don’t you say by playback (a jam) i think i love you by sonamoo (one of my fave songs ever rlly) fri. sat. sun. by dalshabet (they didn’t used to be underrated but there old mvs have nearly 5 times the amount that their new one does so?? a crime???) she’s mine by vav (tbh i love all their songs like so so much they have the best jams) 1 2 3 by b.i.g (two are on the unit my babies) woo by imfact (if you haven’t seen this video have you truly lived?) and rescue by younha (i just found this song and have listened to it a lot lately!!) k idk if most of these are considered underrated but it’s fine enjoy binch

5. If you could join any group other than your bias group who would you join and why? maybe monsta??? just bc??? they’re all best boys?? but also maybe the boyz bc so many 98 liners!! oh or gfriend bc 98 line squad and dance wow i’d have a good time idk i’ll join all the groups really

6. Favorite soloist? and some song recs? !!!! i think you know all my fave soloists tho?? i’m a big fan of hyuna, jay park and jimin/jamie park and you’ve also gotten me pretty into heize too ajkfdhdk but i’ve been really digging suran’s wine i think you’ve maybe not heard that one possibly? OH AND SAM KIM I FORGOT but i think we discussed that you listened to all his stuff too akjdfhfg my fave rn is mama don’t worry!

7. Childhood Story? (thanks Cloud) k well now i gotta think of another.. oh here’s a fun one: so when we were still potty training our grandma would give us an mnm when we used the bathroom by ourselves.. so one time i found an brown mnm on the floor of our kitchen and was like ayeee a snack and then i ate it and it was a bug and my grandma just stuck my head under the sink and tried to rinse my mouth out lemme tell you he wasn’t a tasty bug at all

8. Were you in any fandoms before you got into kpop, if so what were they? yeeeee as i said early in this tag i was super super into youtube right before kpop! it was mainly junior year i think? and senior? but um before that i was a bit into 5sos and before that i was superrr into one direction haha but tbh before kpop i wasn’t really involved in the fandom at all like i made my tumblr for kpop and i had a one direction insta (one_directionxoxoxox bitches) but i didn’t rlly talk to anyone lol and it was trash

9. Favorite Comeback/debut of 2017? uMMMM okay so comeback is gotta be my first and last not sorry abt it... and debut i’ll say pristin bc wow it was rlly a masterpiece

10. astrological sign? Myers Briggs type? Hogwarts House (I’m a Gemini, infp, and Gryffindor) cancer sun/leo rising/scorpio moon? idk what all the important ones are tbh; intj; ravenclaw/gryffindor ayeee

11. Random question but what are your favorite names? um i used to have a list of all my favorite names on my old ass ipod touch but i rlly like names they have hard i sounds like isla and lila and stuff? and boys names i like gregory and josef a lot and idk why bc they’re rly basic ajfhkd i also like more gender neutral names like grey and baguette

k i’m done and i won’t tag anyone bc i am lazy but if you wanna do it i wrote out questions here and you can answer those and say i tagged you:)

[itsjulesharper]

So here we are. The finale of Season 2. I hope you’re sitting down because there is A LOT to unpack in this ep. So let us get right to it without further ado.

We begin with Montespan in her rooms, in tears, topless and furiously scrubbing herself from a basin. It is clear she is frantic and upset, and on one hand I really really feel for her because we all know what it’s like to get in over your head and let emotions overrule common sense in love (we do….DON’T WE??) So it is pretty much over Red Rover for her. On the other hand… good God, woman. Did you seriously think you would stay in favour for ever? That Louis would love you above all others? Did creepy father Etienne not give you that weird ��fuck no!’ gut feeling at all??

So then we flash to Agathe who is in her home and doing some kind of meditation/praying thing (her rooms are actually quite decent and I wonder at what level she’s at on the ladder of respectability). Cut to a scene of guards on horses riding and Marchal-to-the-rescue as they gallop through the fields. Obvs on their way to arrest the witch – yay! He shoves open the door and she remains seated, eyes closed, as if she hasn’t even heard them enter. The guards surround her chair and Marchal watches her closely, then turns the tarot card on the table. The Labyrinth we saw before. She opens her eyes, says, “I’ve been expecting you.” Marchal is unimpressed, asks if she can predict her own future, then orders the guards to search the room and that’s their cue to basically trash the place. They find a trunk, the box with the poisons, and a disc-thingy with a pentagram on it, which Marchal smashes. Then a notebook is discovered – her little black book of clients. As Marshal scans it, he sees Sophie’s name, swallows and looks a bit… worried? Taken aback? Disappointed? Thoughtful? Hard to tell. But it does affect him. Agathe smirks: “found a friend of yours?” Unimpressed Marchal is unimpressed and he orders a guard to bind her.

I am SO Liselotte right now.

Now we are outside in the gardens of Versailles, with Thomas doing a reading of his prose to an audience and UGH I am really hating his smug little weasel face, knowing what he’s done with Philippe and knowing he didn’t do it because of any affection or need. *burns him in effigy*.

We see Philippe with Liselotte by his side, looking mighty unimpressed (sames, Madame. Sames). Louis looks back at Maintenon. Thomas finishes his blah-blah, they all clap and Marchal approaches.  Louis praises Thomas and Thomas-the-weasel smiles his shitty little smug smile UGH *smashes his face*.

Look at him. That is one backpfeifengesicht if ever I saw one.

 Louis is well pleased: “your love of detail and fidelity to the truth can only be applauded, Thomas.” Does Philippe agree with this awesomeness? “Makes French breasts burst with pride, brother.” And OMG that truly FILTHY look Liselotte gives Philippe. I just can’t even 😂  Louis finishes with, “one day soon, I shall reward you in full.” which sounds quite ominous and creepy and I wonder if on some level, Thomas kind of knows that his cover is blown. But still, he smiles and is all “thank you, Sire,” and then Louis looks to Marchal and we are back to secret spy business. The Queen glances at Maintenon and I am wondering if she knows about the garden snogging. Surely someone has told her by now? Louis, Marchal and Bontemps make a huddle under a really nice garden canopy and see CHAIRS WITH ARMS that should not be there but hold that thought because they’re now talking about Agathe. Potions have been found, plus satanic materials. Louis is all, “bring her to me,” and Marchal is “to the palace?”

Hell, yeah. Louis is all about never showing fear to the devil and I could spend pages making screen caps of Marchal’s expressions, so full of thought yet revealing nothing. Marchal hands over the client book and Louis looks taken aback. Agathe is the source of the poisons. “How many were involved?” Louis wants to know, but there are too many to count, which we see as Louis flicks through page after page of names and details….aaaaaand his gaze falls upon a familiar name. The Duc de Luxembourg. THEN….. there it is.

Marquise de Montespan. And Louis cannot quite believe it.  He looks up from the book, across the gathered nobles, and watches Montespan in a subdued gown, standing on the edges as if already an outcast, looking from the outside in at all the favoured ones. You can see him thinking, going back through his memories to all the times she could have possibly snuck him something, got him to take drugs… all the opportunities she had. I think he’s a bit shook.

CUE INTRO MUSIC FOR THE LAST TIME THIS SEASON.

The guards bring Agathe into a private room with Marchal, Louis and Bontemps, and she offers a deep and mocking bow, to which Bontemps is offended. “You would be advised to show respect.” Yeah, nup. Agathe is all smirky and smug and hey, here’s another one whose face is in need of a slap. “You stand accused of witchcraft and sorcery,” Louis says tightly. Unsurprisingly. she pleads guilty on both counts. She is not a person to snivel and beg. She seems to me someone who would proudly claim all the deeds she is charged with. She claps back with, “to what do you stand accused? Tyranny? Arrogance? Vanity?” Louis ain’t biting, instead asking about Montespan. “Her hands are clean,” Agathe says. “She came to me for a love potion.” She laughs. “Don’t try and tell me it didn’t work?” Louis slowly circles her. “I would have expected more humility in your predicament.” Ah, but she already knows her fate. She laughs again: “They tell me Good Friday is an apt time for a sacrifice.” Louis is quite a bit offended that she is ridiculing her maker. But Agathe doesn’t care; she does not seek forgiveness: “I am not the sinner here. You and your Lord have no dominion in my world.” Which is quite a good comeback for people who want to push their religious beliefs upon those who do not follow that faith, but in 17th century France it is not really a smart idea to shun the church so publicly. Especially to Louis. “We are equals, you and I,” she goes on, almost pityingly. “You cannot choose to be born a king. Anymore than I choose to be a pauper.” That simply ENRAGES Louis and he yells back: “I am chosen by GOD!” Agathe raises her voice too: “Your Lord giveth and he will taketh away. History will record your fleeting moment in blood! A tide is coming that will SWEEP YOU AWAY!” (OMG this is so powerful, it gave me chills!) Louis studies her a moment then steps back, says calmly, “All of Versailles will see you burn for this.” Agathe gets a little ranty, says “I will not be vanquished while my agents are at large.” (oooh, Louis’ expression, knowing she has more people working for her…) She gets louder, saying how she has sewn the seeds of sedition and is going to turn everything into… I dunno what because Bontemps suddenly loses his shit, steps forward and does what we all want to do and slaps her across the face. As she’s dragged from the room, she yells, “A TIDE!” and then she’s gone and Louis looks at Marchal and says, “find who they are.” Then we cut to Agathe being led through the palace, through the salons, and everyone turns to watch this display, some with “OH SHIT” expressions, and she smirks at Gaston and Montespan as she gets hustled out. Gaston mumbles, “show a brave face. So there can be no suspicion.” But Montespan ain’t having that. Or him. She wants nothing more to do with him. It’s over and nothing can be proven. (RLY?) In time it will all be forgotten, apparently. (RLY????) Gaston disagrees. He moves off as everyone else is stuck in gossipy whispers.

Ah, and it is evening and we are with Cassel who is coughing up blood in his bed. Man, he looks really bad. I guess that’s what slowly being poisoned will do to you. Sophie steps to the bed, asking what he will have her do. “Water, please,” he rasps, looking all haggard and on his last legs. She serves him, helps him drink and it is clear she is quite upset about it. Poor thing. She looks torn, and I am really liking the depth of humanity she shows. She could have been written as cold and determined: considering what Cassel did to her, I would not have been surprised. But instead her character remains true to her heart and she is feeling remorse and conflict with her actions.

We are back in Louis’ bedchamber with Bontemps, Marchal and the little black book of Agathes’. Bontemps is frustrated – he says Hercules rid himself of the hydra by chopping off all its’ heads. Louis throws down the book in frustration and stomps out, and we next see Montespan asleep in her bed. Louis suddenly enters and she slowly sits up, cautious. His Majesty has come to the wrong room, perhaps? Louis says nup, it was def. you I came to see. And of course, Montespan is weirded out and wondering what he is up to. He leans in on the bed, staring at her. “It has been a long time.” Montespan replies: “Not since you have been with another woman.” Yeah, nup. She’s wrong – Louis has been occupied. “With Madame Scarron?” AHHHH, now SOMEONE notices! But apparently that is careless talk, and “She is Madame de Maintenon now.” OF COURSE SHE IS. Of course, everyone will think you are shagging her, now she has a fancy title and chateau and stuffs. Then Louis holds out his hand to Montespan, even smiles and wiggles his fingers as she hesitates. “What have you been up to?” He asks casually and OMG the look on her face….. She slowly rises from the bed. “Keeping a low profile. Waiting. Hoping.” Louis replies: “The waiting is over,” and the brief smile on Montespan’s face gives me a sad. “I hope so,” she says, then circles him slowly. “I knew it,” she finally adds, with an almost smug smile. (UGH. Not sad anymore) “I know you better than anyone. I knew it was a lie when you said you did not love me.” He steps behind her, gently brushes her shoulders. Apparently everyone lies sometimes. Oh, but she has never lied about her feelings for him. But in other things? asks Louis. She turns to face him and declares, “I have nothing to hide.” Louis replies with “There is sin in thought as well as deed,” and he is so giving her a chance to confess right here, but she is gonna brazen it out. She has nothing to confess, except that she loves him. As Louis removes her nightshift she says she will do anything to have him back. Louis replies, “For that, you must tell me the truth.” Fully nekkid, Montespan slides back onto the bed, obvs thinking she can win him over with nekkid boobage and her magic vajayjay, saying, “come to me, my king. I will show you I have no secrets.” He gives her a brief look up and down, then crawls onto the bed over her, kissing up from her belly, then strokes back her hair, murmurs, “finally. The scales fall from my eyes.” She moves in to kiss him, and they do, then he holds her back and the grip on her face looks pretty uncomfortable. She gasps as he gets out, “and you have betrayed me for the last time.” (Louis getting his Darth Vader on, lulz). Then he pushes her face back, then shoves her legs aside in contempt and walks out as she curls up naked on the bed and cries. OKAY, she is not very cluey, is she? How can she not think at least something was off when he chooses to see her and starts talking about secrets after she JUST SAW Agathe arrested the same day? Maybe a, “hmmm…. he has rejected me, told me he didn’t love me, then Agathe the witch gets arrested and now he’s asking me about what secrets I am holding onto?” SUSPICIOUS, MUCH?

Next day, and Louis meets the duc de Luxembourg, all smiles and hellos. Eh-up, there’s gonna be some major shit going down now. And what a lovely scene this is, with Louis’ intelligence and gift for words really coming out here when he says he needs the Duc’s help with ‘a dilemma’.

Louis: I am in two minds how to deal with my enemies. Do I educate them or punish them? Luxembourg: Depends what they’ve done, Sire. Louis: (casually) Well, if I came upon information incriminating someone I trusted…. how should I deal with that betrayal? Luxembourg: (clearly unaware) There is only one way to deal with a traitor, Sire. Louis: (gently laughs) Even if it was someone like you?

*CLANG* The penny drops for Luxembourg. He knows. They stare at each other and Louis’ smile slowly falls away. Luxembourg’s expression goes from disbelief to distress and he starts to cry as he hangs his head. Louis says calmly. “If you tell me the truth, you can leave through that door.” (such a beautiful door it is, too. Look. I would want to take it with me, not gonna lie.) “If you do not, you will leave through that door.” His other option is, of course, still a beautiful door, but flanked with the king’s guards, so obvs not the smart choice.

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Glorious door to freedom

Glorious door to jail

I’ll take door number one, thanks, Eddie.

So now we hear Luxembourg’s reasons: “My wife’s father was obstructing our investments. She wished him dead.” The in-laws. Dammit. Those bastards. He heard about Agathe supplying poison and invited dear ol’ Dad around for supper. Louis says he is deeply saddened Luxembourg didn’t come to him… “I am a reasonable man. I always help those loyal to the crown.” Luxembourg snaps back with, “I fear you would not listen unless it was part of your plan!” Look at the shock on Louis’ face…. LOOK AT IT!

 “Because I frighten you?” Louis gets out. “Is that it? Because I am a tyrant?” Clearly, Agathe’s words have resonated. “You killed a nobleman in my palace.” Shit. Luxembourg cries, “I beg forgiveness, Sire! I will devote my life to your service without question.” Yeah….. Louis smiles at him, says he appreciates his honesty… “my friend.” Luxembourg thanks him, kisses Louis’ ring and steps to the unguarded door. Uh-uh. Not so fast. The doors open, the guards enter and yesssss….. Marchal enters too. Luxembourg is all WTAF??? but Louis says calmly, “do you really think I could let this go unpunished? After all I have given you?  FRANCE. REWARDS. HER LOYAL SERVANTS. AND SHE PUNISHES THOSE WHO BETRAY HER!” You go, Louis, getting all aggro and yelly and I Am The GODDAMN KING.  Luxembourg is removed and Louis says tightly to Marchal, “Strike now. Without mercy.” And the Marquise de Montespan? “Not yet.”

Now we have a fab montage of short scenes, with Marchal and guards (shout out to the lovely Cédric Vallet, who is Marchal’s Chief Musketeer), entering the rooms of nobles, dragging them from their beds and rounding them up from the salons. Women, men… all in chaos. We see a dude hurrying down a corridor, then locking himself in a salon, but the guards are inside and he gets grabbed and dragged away .. and can we stop for a moment to acknowledge Marchal casually sipping wine amidst all this arresting? LULZ. Montespan sees this, and Gaston slithers over, hisses, “They’re arresting half the court!” And she is all, “calm yourself. We two remain in the clear.” But for how much longer? He wants to make a tactical withdrawal but Montespan disagrees. She wants to “push ahead.” ……with what? Oh, I’m glad you asked. “There is one person who deserves punishment above all.” Gaston is freaked by another noble being dragged out, but Montespan, however, is so very cool.

New scene and urgent ominous music plays as we see a shot of the village and then Gaston in Agathe’s house, retrieving a bundle from a hidden hole in the roof. Then he’s back in his rooms at Versailles, brushes off Odile (?? Why is she grabbing him?) then opens the bundle, revealing bottles of poison. “What are going to do with them?” Odile asks. Gaston gets out: “Go get me something to drink.” She goes, but does not look happy.

We are now out in the gardens, on a pleasant stroll with Thomas (UGH) and Philippe. While the gardens are lovely, Thomas wants to know where they are going… somewhere private, away from prying eyes? Nah, Philippe is in more of a romantic mood, indicating a stone bench set against a row of hedges (which still looks fairly public, being in clear sight of strolling courtiers) and a valet with wine and noms. “What is life worth if you can’t bask in beauty? And talk about poetry? The words of love?” Thomas laments the fact that his words these days are military, all about the king’s ambitions. Ahhh, so here Philippe is planting the seed, because he still has to tell Thomas all that stuff Louis wanted him to, but without arousing Thomas’ suspicions. Philippe subtly flatters, saying Thomas is a poet, that he sees the reality behind the façade. He all-casual-like leans against Thomas as he launches into it: “take Versailles, for example. It is truly a triumph of style over substance. It has my brother written all over. Same goes for the war. He has you writing all that propaganda when the truth is, things are obviously in chaos.”

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He charms and flirts and touches Thomas’ hair, making Thomas laugh. It’s a very good effort. “Why would you withdraw all of your troops from Holland, when we all know that is where the real war is won or lost?” Yeah, Thomas’ expression indicates he’s noticed that little clue being dropped. But I’m not sure he knows he has been played. Then Thomas places his glass down, turns to kiss Philippe, and as Philippe shifts to get into it, says “the king expects me back in court.” Philippe looks at him, smiles: “We could just have sex if you’d rather.” Huh. Thomas smiles back. “Maybe later.” (and GTFO WITH THAT SHIT. He’s just not that into you, Philippe. He is soooo not down with the man love AT ALL. UGH. Because the only legitimate excuse for denying a prince is going above his head, claiming the king needs him) Thomas leaves and Philippe’s expression is all uggggh, dammit. Failed again. I don’t think he’s annoyed with the cockblocking, tbh. More like, “I need to keep him here, to convince him of this fake war story.” We see Thomas stomp off with such a shitty look on his face and I think that maybe he has swallowed that little story of Philippes’.

Maybe….. Maybe not. Because we are back with Cassel on his deathbed… He rasps, “Is that you, my dear…”  To which Thomas answers, “you must be losing your sight.” WTF Cassel has HIS EYES CLOSED. Cassel replies: “I can still detect a bad smell.” AHHH. Thomas is furious. “It was you, wasn’t it? You betrayed me to the king.” Cassel gets out: “Now why would you think that?” The Duc may be one step away from kicking the bucket, but is still sassy as hell.

So, Philippe’s jig is up. Totally. The spy was spied on and now he’s aware of the spy spying on him. But the second spy is still spying, thinking the original spy is still in spy-mode. Thomas says he knows because of a sudden enthusiasm for his company by a certain Monsieur and a “strong urge to divulge secrets of State.” I KNEW Philippe was coming on too strong! Thomas is quite angry, wants to know if Cassel betrayed him to the king, and I detect a certain outrage, and I am all a bit WTF, as if Cassel had any kind of loyalty to Thomas. Cassel starts to laugh and Thomas grabs him by the throat. “I warned you! Didn’t I?” And srsly, why would Cassel give one shit about Thomas blackmailing him when Cassel knows he is dying? I would totally do the same in Cassel’s shoes – snitching on the asshole who’s not only blackmailing him, but also shagging his wife. Although I’m not sure if he did it for the first reason more than the second. Whatever the reason, Thomas is going down and Cassel is pleased. Then we see Sophie approaching the rooms, and Thomas still chokes Cassel, then Sophie bursts in and shoves Thomas off him. She is teary… “I’m sorry,” she whispers to Cassel (oh, my heart!) and Cassel whispers, “Sophie…” touches her face and is gone. Meanwhile, Thomas is being a broody little shit behind them, giving her a look when she glances back at him.

Whew. And we are only 22 minutes into the ep!

We are now in Louis’ rooms with Philippe giving them all a debrief.  And Philippe is all uuuugh: “I said you were making a mess of it by withdrawing the troops from Holland so you could focus on tackling the east. Then he left.” He was due to speak with Louis an hour ago. Bontemps asks if Thomas has seen through it. Philippe adds, “we were drinking. It was in the heat of passion.” …..Ummmm. It wasn’t really. Not much passion there, just a brief kiss from Thomas. Louis gives him a look, Philippe looks back at him. Philippe: That’s exactly what we agreed, wasn’t it? Louis: You took him for a fool. An error of judgement. And not for the last time. Philippe: That’s not fair! I’m the one selling his arse for France! Louis: Find him! Maybe it’s not too late to retrieve the situation. Philippe gives a mocking bow then leaves as Louis adds, “he must not leave the palace.”

Back in Sophie’s rooms, where she is demanding to know why Thomas would hurt a dying man. He grabs her hand: “There’s no time to explain. I must leave tonight and I want you to come with me.” Sophie is all confused and breathless and worried. “Why should I trust you?” Thomas replies: “If they catch me, they will kill me.” Okay, using Cassel’s death as an excuse. Which is a bit silly, considering everyone knew Cassel was dying and no one else knows Thomas strangled him. Sophie could just not say anything and Thomas would be in the clear. Yyeah, Sophie ain’t down with that shit: “Why? What have you done? What kind of outlaw are you?” YAY! uhhh…… No…. here we go. Thomas plays the blackmail card: “one who knows all about you. That you are a Protestant and that your mother conspired against the king for William of Orange.” The penny drops for Sophie now. GOOD GIRL. but UGH he plays that “yes, I am a spy too but then I fell in love with you, now are you coming with me or not?!” card and I am yelling at my screen going “NOOO SOPHIE DO NOT BE SO STUPID UGGGGH.” She is confused and he kisses her, tells her he’ll be at the stables at midnight, then swiftly leaves. And Sophie is looking distraught and I want her to go to Marchal for help because we all know HE WILL FIX IT.

Tbh, I thought I’d be more happy with Cassel’s death. He was a nasty piece of shit, sure. But he also had complexity and depth and he did something ultimately for the good of the king. And Louis, to his credit, did not throw him in jail when Cassel confessed to conspiracy. Pip Torrens was brilliant on the screen and I will miss his evilness.

Philippe returns to his rooms, tosses his coat on the bed and we see the Chevalier (FINALLY) in a chair, an empty glass and two more with wine on the table. “Where the fuck have you been?” He says softly yet angrily and I have to pause for a second. Did Philippe not tell him to GTFO in ep 9 after that attempted suicide stunt? “Here we go again,” murmurs Philippe and I am totally with him on that one. *sigh*

The Chevalier: You were with him, weren’t you? Philippe: (pours water into the empty wine glass) I’m not going to have this conversation with you. The Chevalier: Then I’m going ’round to your little sweetheart right now and I’m going to rip his throat out. Philippe: You’re not going to do anything of the kind because you’re a notorious coward and he’s not my sweetheart. The Chevalier: (gives him a look then gets to his feet) I’m a coward, am I? Do you really want to see how brave I can be? Philippe: Look, it’s not what you think! The Chevalier: (limp-stomps to the bed and grabs his coat) I think he’s a snivelling little bastard. And I’ll kill him.

Philippe gives him a look and I actually think that he believes the Chevalier will actually follow through. As the Chevalier heads to the doors, Philippe blurts out, “It’s a charade. Louis is using me to feed information to the Dutch. That’s why I’m flirting with him.” The Chevalier turns, snorts. “I’ve heard some lame excuses in my time..” then walks out. And I am WTAF he WANTED the truth and when he gets it, he doesn’t believe it???? SRSLY? What is so far-fetched with that scenario, given what happened in S1????

Right. We are in the gardens now, with Louis and Maintenon strolling, then taking a seat along a path. Louis comes here for sanctuary, apparently. Then he tells her he has a record of who is behind the poisonings. Hundreds of them. His friends. (and right now I am so reminded of the differences between how Louis is portrayed in the series, compared with Benoît Magimel’s version in the 2000 movie, Le Roi Danse. There is a magnificent scene between him and Lully, his court composer, where Lully says, “I thought we were friends, and Louis replies coolly, “I have no friends.” If you can find the English subtitled version, I urge you to watch. You can buy the French DVD from Amazon)

Anyway, back to Louis and Maintenon, and Louis says some of those friends are “close…. very close. One in particular.” Maintenon, with her calm voice of reason, replies, “then the betrayal is greater. An untreated wound can fester in the soul just as in the body.” Yes, Louis knows what he must do, and wonders why he hesitates, why he doubts himself. And Maintenon is all “Look into my eyes. I believe in you. You must trust yourself.” And Louis says, “you are perfect,” and they have a good ol’ snog. And OMG it JUST occurred to me that they killed off Jacques to make way for Maintenon! All his cryptic metaphors and calm advice, coming from a place of unselfishness, and borne of a desire to just help Louis rather than gain something in return. This is EXACTLY what Maintenon is doing. Even their tone of voice is similar. But now with Maintenon, you get the romantic element thrown in, plus the jealousy from Montespan (and likely the queen when she finds out they’re shagging). UUGGGGHHHH *MIND BLOWN* Anyways, Maintenon stops all the kissing and whispers about it being wrong, and lulz Louis plays the ‘how can it be when God has sent you to me?’ card and when she reminds him he is married, he is all “it is a marriage without love.” Ouch, queen. “And me?” Maintenon replies. “What would I be? Love without marriage?” UGH WOMAN. You overstep yourself just a bit to presume you know the king’s affections. She goes on: “Whatever exists between us is purer, stronger than the desires of the flesh.” Then totally gets up and leaves (WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION) and Louis is left sitting there quite a bit pissed off.

Right. I am so looking forward to Season 3 where they will hopefully show Louis with a stack more mistresses. Pleasepleaseplease….

Back in Montespan’s rooms now and she is looking determined about something. So Louis is under the impression that all she has done is ask Agathe for some love potions…? I think so. We see guards burst into another room, smash things up and find the pouch of poisons Gaston had retrieved previously. So, his rooms then. People stop by the door to gawp (car crash, 17th century version) and Gaston is there too, watching them as the Chief Musketeer claims, “one is missing,” and quite rightly decides it’s a smart idea to move along. He turns… ah-HA. Marchal stands behind him and it really looks like Gaston is about to wet himself. Still, he brazens it out with a cool “can I help you?” To which Marchal says just as coolly, “yes, I believe you can. Whether or not you are willing is another matter.” And the maid Odile is pulled forward by a guard. Gaston loses it… snarls out, “you TREACHEROUS BITCH!” and lunges forward, but Marchal.. OMG bless you, you wonderful man. Marchal grabs Gaston by the face and hurls him back into the guards. The poison pouch is shown, Gaston knows the jig is up, Marchal gives him a look then turns away. And Gaston is dragged, slo-mo-style, through the corridors for all to see, getting in Montespan’s face to give her a panicky stare-down, to which she does not bat an eyelash. His downfall is complete. Montespan quickly hurries off.

Marchal strides into his office/dungeon, Gaston behind, and they pass a bunch of locked-up nobles. Marchal shoves Gaston up against a cell, and a rough looking Agathe steps from the shadows, all messy and bloody about the face. Gaston gasps, “I have failed you. Forgive me.” But Agathe says nothing and he’s dragged away to a rat-cell. “You are defeated, witch,” Marchal says calmly. “where is your dark master now?” As he starts to walk away, Agathe replies: “In my head. just like he is in yours. We both know this is not over yet.” He gives her a cool, calculating look then walks away. And I am reminded of that scene in The Incredibles where Syndrome goes on about how stupid villains are when they go into a monologue about their plans and how the good guys won’t defeat them etc etc. AGATHE. WTF are you doing??? Has no one ever told you to, uhh…. like, NOT TELL THE GOOD GUYS THAT YOU’RE STILL DOING EVIL STUFFS?

We’re back in Sophie’s rooms, where she is cleaning up Cassel’s face, and Marchal is standing there and says what we are all thinking: “You have a very soft heart.” Sophie replies: “everybody deserves dignity in death.” Marchal wastes no time in telling her that he knows what she did, that her name was on a list. Oh, and LORDY how much do I LOOOOVE this man when he adds, “It has now been erased. You conscience should be clear.” Sophie abruptly stands, says tightly. “And what of your conscience? Is that clean?” Marchal: “I leave the past behind me. I hope you will do the same.” To which Sophie does a massive nose curl and strides to the dresser to retrieve a bag. WTF is she so angry with him??? Marchal issues a word of warning: “Your lover may not be the man you think he is.” well, DUH. We know this. Why can he not just forbid her to go? Even lock her up for her own good? Or maybe… tell her?? But no. She simply says to him, “everybody has their secrets,” then walks out the door.

Right, so we see Thomas enter his dark rooms, then rummage through a trunk. He jumps when Philippe casually asks from the bed, “where do you think you’re going?” and is all ‘what are you doing here?’ Philippe:  “I like surprises,” and rises from the bed. “And I don’t like people walking out on me.” Thomas gets a bit grovelly: “I’m very sorry, I had urgent matters to attend to,” and Philippe is sorry too – for coming on a bit too strong (WAT. Thomas has already given him a blow job – I think the ‘coming on too strong’ is moot at this point) . And Philippe doesn’t at all sound sincere, especially when he says they could maybe try again. NOOO. THOMAS KNOWS. Okay, so there’s quite a bit of snogging then Philippe pushes Thomas back onto the bed, then more snogging. UGH. Then…. Philippe reaches for a dagger in his breeches, Thomas notices and is all, “That’s not very nice of you.”

And it is ON.

Thomas hurls Philippe from the bed and the knife slices through a window covering. Philippe slashes forward but Thomas leaps back every time. Thomas grabs a pot/vase and deflects a blow, before Philippe knocks it from his hand. Philippe lunges and they then wrestle for the knife, falling over a table and slamming into the floor. Philippe thrusts again, Thomas grabs his arm, Philippe punches Thomas in the face but it’s obviously not hard enough because Thomas punches back and Philippe goes down. As he lays there, dazed and prone, Thomas crawls onto him and just starts wailing into Philippe (OMG *CRIES*) punching him until his nose is all bloody. NOOOOOOOO. Why are there no guards rushing in for backup? Then Thomas picks up the dagger and FFS DOES this IDIOT not know how bad it would be to kill the king’s brother???

THEN OMG……. THE CHEVALIER TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!

I am pretty sure I screamed at this point. The fight scenes as so very well choreographed.

The Chevalier glances at prone Philippe in panic and horror, then leaps forward, yelling for the guards as Thomas runs to the window and leaps out into the night.

Now we have two simultaneous scenes – Thomas hurrying to the stables, and the guards rushing in and the Chevalier all trembly over Philippe, seeing all the blood and not seeing him move. The guards are NOT MOVING THEIR ASSES QUICK ENOUGH, no, they just look casually out the damn window, meanwhile Thomas watches Sophie standing with two horses and a stable dude, all out there on the grass and in the open. Thomas strides out, smiles as Sophie gives a little relieved gasp…. and then the Chevalier just seems to appear from the shadows behind him, with such a fucking badass look on his face. He slowly raises his musket and takes cool, calm aim.

And shoots Thomas.

ABOUT FUCKING TIME. YESSSSS! THIS IS WHAT THE CHEVALIER IS ALL ABOUT AND I AM TOTALLY ON BOARD THIS TRAIN!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

Sophie screams, Thomas collapses, the horses rear, and the smoke wisps around the Chevalier like some awesome metaphor for dark vigilante justice and badassery. YES.

Sophie rushes over to Thomas, holds his  head in her lap as he bleeds and goes through the motions of dying, then she kisses him and hurries over to mount her horse while the guards come a-running, Marchal in the lead. Marchal yells out, “STOP!” but Sophie wheels her horse around and gallops through the gates. The guards take aim but Marchal commands them all to hold their fire. “She is innocent,” he says, as the Chevalier stands there all casual-like with his musket pointed in the air. I love them both right now..

Whew. Well, we are back in the palace, in Louis’ rooms, and Philippe dabs at his bleeding nose while the Chevalier attempts to explain to Louis why he shot Thomas: “Believe me, Sire, I had no intention of causing trouble. I saw your brother in pain… My anger was too strong for me.” And I am just going NOOOOOO why does he have to ruin his Badass Shooting with a grovelling apology? This is what he should be doing after that little shit beat the crap out of THE BLOODY PRINCE OF FRANCE! He deserved to die and no one is going to judge the Chevalier for killing him. Hell, he would be celebrated for coming to Philippe’s defence. And yet, here we are, listening to him stutter and desperately justify his actions to Louis. And then Louis commands him to silence and says, “I have brought you here to express my gratitude. You have shown honour and valour in ridding the palace of a dangerous spy.” Stunned Chevalier is stunned. Louis continues: “And as a reward you will receive an annual stipend so you are no longer in debt, nor so reliant on my brother, and you will be given rooms in the east wing.” As the Chevalier can’t quite believe it, Louis issues a condition, that he start to “behave like a nobleman. Your predilection for alcohol and powders will cease if you wish to remain associated with my court.”  Of course, the Chevalier is gushingly grateful, to which Louis repeats, “Will you shut up?” Okay, let me get this right. The Chevalier had thought that by killing Thomas (whom he did not believe was a spy even though Philippe told him so: we see his surprise when Louis confirms it) would mean punishment from Louis? Punishment for killing a man who was about to kill the Prince of France? FUCKSAKE. The Chevalier is a high-ranking noble (not that we see it here: his importance to the court seems to have either been ignored or glossed over in the telling) so he damn-well knows it would be his duty to kill weasel Thomas. And he would also know that Louis would be grateful for it and very likely reward him. So the Chevalier’s surprise when Louis not only thanks him but gives him monies is so very frustrating, because it’s not the way it would’ve happened.

So now Louis then goes over to Philippe. Louis: Brother. You are alive. Philippe: (quietly) No thanks to you. Louis: You were in the service of France. Philippe: It would’ve been good propaganda, wouldn’t it? Had I died. Your brother sacrifices himself. For you. Louis: Please, try to be reasonable- Philippe: What would you have written on my tombstone? (small snort) Gave his arse for France? (Slowly heads to the doors) Louis: Brother, please. (Philippe slowly turns) If you had died tonight I would have lost my closest friend. Philippe: (looking sad and forlorn) Why should I believe you? Louis: Because after all we have been through… After all the hurt I have caused you, you love me as I love you. (walks towards sad puppy face Philippe). If you walk out now, you walk out on that love.

And then, with Philippe all still bashed and bloody and SAD PUPPY EYES, Philippe is the one to lean in first and they embrace and the music swells and yes, I CRY because this is the one thing Philippe wanted from Louis and now he finally has it OMGGGG…. And then….. Louis says, “Tomorrow you will go to war. If that is what you wish.” Philippe cannot quite believe it, and he immediately glances over to the Chevalier who is watching their exchange, and I can see his face is sad but also kinda “yes, this is what you really want, I know.” Then Philippe says to Louis, “no sudden last-minute change of mind?” And Louis gives a small smile and replies: “I want you to go to Holland and destroy William of Orange. For me. For France. For you.” Philippe smiles, turns and walks out, and the Chevalier quickly follows, giving Louis a bow.

Wow. Okay. Nearly 20mins to go and I am EMOTIONALLY DRAINED. We are now moving through the dungeons, the camera shaky and rapid, with a creepy whisper in the air, and we get to Agathe’s cell where she paces and chants creepy-Satan things in (possibly) Latin. The guard outside looks worried and crosses himself, and we cut to Montespan in her room at a table, toying with a vial of poison. Agathe still whisper-chants, Montespan appears to be thinking.

Then we are back outside, daytime, seeing shots of the gardens before we watch Montespan enter the chapel in a subdued dress and vail. She is in confession with Bossuet and he does not look impressed. “I have done things. Evil things. I accuse myself of sins of the flesh. Of pride. And of wrath. And of other things I dare not mention.” Is she truly sorry, Bossuet asks? She is. Oh, then that’s okay because the Lord will forgive her if she says the act of contrition. And she does, and it is a VERY GOOD recital, with the correct inflection of emotion and tears. Bossuet looks forward to seeing her at communion, and is pleasantly surprised when Montespan asks permission to stay and pray. So she goes through the motions, kneeling and signing the cross, and Bossuet watches her and is well pleased and happy because he thinks she is all penitent and has found God. UGH. Yeah, the look she gives his retreating back tells us quite clearly she is still the same old Montespan and up to something.

Louis is going through his morning lever, looking not very happy, and then he and the queen walk into the chapel as holy music swells, then Philippe and a not-very-impressed Liselotte enter (the Chevalier immediately behind them) and Philippe says to Liselotte, “You did well to stay. Versailles is fun once you get used to it.” Liselotte replies: “Versailles will be fun when it gets used to me.” Everyone walks in, courtiers bow, and all take their place as the hymn continues. The Chevalier steps to Philippe’s side, but Philippe says and does nothing. Louis eyes Maintenon, who looks a bit heart-eyes and breathy. The queen is looking a bit.. stoic? Tight lipped? Maybe she has found out about the snogging? Then Louis and the queen kneel and the sermon begins. Meanwhile, Montespan walks in after everyone is focused on Bossuet: “It is only through the light can the long shadow of death be banished.” he says. Quite a subtext here, all about hope and resurrection and peace, and Montespan is struggling to hold it together.

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We are in Marchal’s dungeon now, and he is punching the crap out of Gaston, wanting to know who Agathe’s other agents are. Gaston is all panicky when Marchal prepares to break his pinky finger, quickly getting out, “I can save the king’s life! But not if you touch another hair on my head.” As Marchal slowly steps back, Gaston adds, “and in return you will give me full amnesty and safe passage to Bordeaux.” Marchal says that only the king can grant such a wish, and Gaston half-laughs and says something that sounds like, “the faster he’ll run or no wishes at all.” Then adds, “the ghosts of his victims are here for revenge.” Marchal is not impressed: “you will be freed only if the king survives.” Gaston swallows. “Can I trust you?” (LULWAT). And in answer, Marchal shoves him against the wooden post he’s chained to, grabs his shirt front and says, “if he dies, you die.” Then the church bells begin to chime, the hymns swell and we see Bossuet walking with the wine and wafers… Montespan starts to cry…. everyone lines up to receive the blessing as Bossuet reads from the bible in Latin…. then we are back with Gaston and Marchal and Gaston says, “Hmmm. Easter Sunday. A sermon. Prayers-” Marchal begins to think as Gaston adds, “Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.” And Marchal strides out. Cut back to the chapel, to the singing choir as Bossuet picks up a wafer and places it in Louis’ mouth… and Montespan is desperately trying to hold it together, tears now falling, her face torn with emotion. And damn, GO, MARCHAL!!!!! RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!! He races through the gates, across the courtyard, then pelts up the stairs, screaming, “DOORS!”

Back in the chapel, and the queen receives the wafer, then the wine is uncovered and poured, and Montespan is losing it now, in real distress. And the hymn still plays over the top of these scenes, giving them all a creepy, fatalistic ambiance. The wine is poured in slo-mo, and then the camera pans to the crowd – we see Louvois, Bontemps – and the wine just keeps going. Bossuet stops, Louis makes the sign on the cross… and we are running with Marchal, the camera all shaky, heading hell-for-leather straight to the chapel doors, and the guards quickly open them and then we see the choir still singing, all pure and ethereal as Louis takes the wine glass and brings it to his lips… Montespan wipes her tear-stained face, openly distraught, and Louis tilts the cup up and OMG THE TENSION IS KILLING MEEEEEEEE and JUST as he is about to take a sip, Marchal charges in and screams, “NOOOOOO!!!!!” and Louis stops, Marchal races up to him and takes the cup, murmurs breathlessly, “it is poison, Sire.  De Foix  confessed.” As everyone whispers, Louis and Bontemps look shocked, then Bontemps takes the wine jug and Louis says, “who else? He could not have done this alone.” And Marchal and Louis share a look, Marchal looking confused then thoughtful and they both slowly turn to look at the assembled crowd. Louis knows. He scans the faces… then he sees her, tears in her eyes and gasping. He knows. His expression is almost disbelieving for a second, then his face hardens as it sinks in. Montespan gasps, hand over her mouth, turns and walks out.

Next scene – we enter a private room of Louis’ and see Montespan in front of Louis, Maintenon standing near a window, a fire burning in the hearth. “Someone tried to poison me while I worshipped God,” Louis begins tightly. Montespan says she is innocent, but Louis does not believe it. “Innocent?” He holds out Agathe’s black book. “Yet you procured poison.” Ah, now she changes her story to “It was a mistake. I did not go through with it.” And what about the heretic priest? A satanic mass? The blood of a child spilled? Montespan is teary. “No, I could never do such a thing!” Yeah, Louis ain’t having none of that. “You went to see him! ADMIT IT!”

Her reply? “Everything I did, I did for you.” Oh, okaaaay, then. That makes it perfectly OKAY and TOTALLY NOT HER FAULT.  Louis slowly circles her, his anger and disgust clear…. then slowly, almost as if against his better judgement, he reaches out and gently touches her bare neck, his fingers stroking. “I gave you my heart,” he whispers, almost disbelieving. “My soul. My love.” Then he looks across the room to where Maintenon stands at the open window, light streaming through, and the metaphor of Godly light is so very obvious. Louis’ gaze returns to the back of Montespan’s head, his expression firm. “That love has died.” Montespan is nothing but uber-determined as she whispers back, “it cannot die.” Louis slowly removes his hand from her as she gets out in a teary, breathy whisper. “I made you who you are. I made you complete and I cannot live without you. You cannot live without me.” Louis looks at her directly, replies almost gently: “That was true once. But not now.” She weeps as he adds, “without you, I am myself.” Montespan finally gets it now: “I will leave. If that is what you want. You will never hear from me again.” Louis glances to the still-silent Maintenon, then back to Montespan.

Ohhh, the look on his face. LOOK AT IT. Then he drops it: “No. You will remain here at Versailles. An anonymous noble without the king’s favour. That will be your punishment. Bear the guilt and shame forever. You will leave behind the life you once led. You will attend prayers and mass. You will neither drink, nor gamble. You will be known for your piety and your humility.” And oh, Montespan is in distress weepy tears mode (but still looking gorgeous, dammit) as she struggles out, “you condemn me to death!” But Louis is not swayed one bit. “The Marquise de Montespan,” he says, “who had the world and the king of France at her feet, no longer exists.” Montespan struggles to breathe as she cries, knows it is now truly over for her. Condemned to be a nobody, a nothing. Everything that she loathed and desperately tried not to be. Everything she spent her last waking moment trying to avoid. And finally, as she stands there in tears, Maintenon hurries over and embraces her, gives Louis a look, then leads the fallen-from-grace Montespan from the room.  Maintenon then returns to a stoic Louis, puts a hand to his cheek, then whispers cryptically, “even the darkest night gives way to dawn.”

*Historical note: It was never suggested that Montespan ever tried to poison Louis, rather just put things in his wine and food to ‘increase his passion and love’ for her when she suspected her favour was falling. An ex-lover of Louis was, however, accused of wanting to poison him, a Claude de vin des Œillets, who was angry that Louis did not officially recognise her daughter as his.  You can read all about her here.

Well. Nearly over now. We are in Philippe’s rooms and he is standing before a mirror, dressing in a golden sash and OMG I am expecting some more emotional shit to go down. Liselotte says, “but if you are killed, what of our son?” Philippe replies: “you will find someone else to take the role of the father.” They both glance across to the Chevalier who is standing by the window… WAT. AHAHAHAHAAAAAA NOPE. SO WRONG.  

Anyways, Philippe takes Liselotte’s hand, says, “we will write to each other. Every day. I want a full report on your health and well being.” She nods with a smile. “And remember,” he says lightly, “this is Versailles. You should be happy.” They laugh softly, he kisses her cheek and then he takes a bolstering breath and walks to the Chevalier. “How do I look?” The Chevalier can barely glance at him, he’s so upset. “Passable.” Philippe is sad; “I thought you’d be pleased for me.” The Chevalier replies: “And I thought you’d be grateful to me.” Philippe’s eyes fill with tears as the Chevalier continues, moving to him: “Didn’t I save your life? So why risk it now? On a stupid battlefield?” UGH. Poor Philippe, you can see the emotion on his face and we know the Chevalier’s words are because he is hurting that he may lose Philippe again. Philippe looks at him, says calmly, “I will always love you. But there are things I must do before I can love you again.”

WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! *SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY*

The Chevalier’s gaze drops to the floor…. Philippe leans in and their foreheads touch, their eyes both gently close as the moment fills with emotion. “-as I wish,” Philippe finally whispers. “And you deserve.” They kiss, sweetly, tenderly and I am an absolute mess because this is what they need, an honest moment sharing what is in their hearts, a kiss that shows what they mean to each other. The Chevalier is shaking, they both smile through the tears, then the Chevalier finally whispers, “go.”

Philippe turns, looks at Liselotte, picks up his sword then strides to the doors, goes through them with his generals, the servants bowing. He glances back as he walks, and Liselotte and the Chevalier are framed in the doorway, Liselotte slowly taking the Chevalier’s hand in a show of solidarity and support… he turns back, gives a sigh, and then – as we all know this has been his dream all along – smiles to himself because he is FINALLY off to war.

No time to wipe those tears, people. We are here for the witch burning. We are in a courtyard and it has drawn a crowd. Burnings and hangings and other sorts of punishment were entertainment in those days: Tyburn Hill in London was like a regular day out for all, with refreshments being sold and nobles watching the hangings from the comfort of their carriages. Not only that, it was supposed to serve as a deterrent. Here we see the townsfolk gathered, and a royal box is set up to get full advantage of the spectacle. Agathe is led out, looking dirty and beaten, in chains and barefoot. The crowd yell at her, she remains silent with her head high. She is strapped to the pole. Then the camera cuts to the dungeons, to Gaston in chains as Marchal enters. Gaston smirks. He thinks he’s won his freedom…. nup. Marchal says, “take him to the pyre,” and his smug face falls.  Back with Agathe as she is tied up, and a parade of people in dirty fancy clothing walk past her…. the nobles she supplied poison to? I think so. They are herded before the pyre, and Gaston is shoved forward. Witnesses to the burning. Punishment. Louis steps up to the royal observation platform with the queen, the rest of the royal court spread out, and there are chants of “long live the king.” He looks to the man holding the huge burning torch and the pyre is lit. Agathe is expressionless… until the smoke drifts up and her feet feel the heat.

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We see reaction shots from the crowd – Montespan, a guard holding Luxembourg’s head so he is forced to watch. Peasants crossing themselves and glancing away. And the flames rise higher around Agathe. Louis reveals no emotion as he watches, stepping aside as the Dauphin walks up behind to watch (FINALLY we get to see him again! It’s been, like, eight whole eps in between). Agathe yells,”The Sun King! It is for his greed that you toil! For his vanity! You suffer! Rise up and fight! I URGE YOU! FIND YOUR POWER!” And the camera pans to the peasants but we cannot see any discontent, no nodding or whispering or agreeing with her. She’s two Louis too early. Still she screeches as the flames get higher, “Your days are numbered. Louis, King of France. You and your spawn!” Louis puts a hand on the Dauphin’s shoulder as Agathe keeps ranting, frothing at the mouth, spouting about how their flesh will be eaten by the worms of tyranny. It is a great monologue and, knowing what we do about French royal history, very prophetic. We see Maintenon looking a little distressed, Liselotte the same, the queen showing nothing and Louis with a ‘yeah, burn, you witch.’

And so she does, wailing like a banshee as the flames finally reach her. Marchal watches expressionless, Montespan glances away. Marchal’s guard struggles with Gaston, forcing his head up to watch Agathe burn. The camera pans over the royal platform, to all the expressions of horror while Agathe screams. Louis is still and silent, his gaze direct. And then, just the tiniest twitch of his lips in a smile.

THE END!!!! *Collapses* 

So…. that is it until next year, when Season 3 hits our screens. No word yet as to a Season 4…. but did we all enjoy this series? What did you love? What did you hate? What/who do you want to see more of?

For me, the biggest drawcards by far are Fabien Marchal and his dark and broody brilliance as he prowls across my screen. The dialogue, which is always fabulous. The romantic moments between Philippe and the Chevalier. Sophie’s quietly growing strength and determination. Liselotte’s everything. The clothes, the jewellery. And the stunning visuals of Versailles, Vaux-le-Vicomte and the interiors.  Stay tuned for another article on the smexy bits, plus what we can expect (and what I would love to see!) in Season 3.  And merci beaucoup for reading along and your comments. You guys rock xxx ❤

Versailles season 2, episode 10 – deaths, downfalls and departures So here we are. The finale of Season 2. I hope you're sitting down because there is A LOT to unpack in this ep.

[sueboohscorner]

#Empire S3 EP16: Absent Child~ Recap & Review *Lyons vs Dubois*

Man, this episode was full of fire on so many levels. I have to rate this episode a (10). Here is why....

This episode gave us a slap that even I felt, lovers to enemies, a revenge attack, touching moments and as always an OMG moment.  

Two powerful families have a meeting to discuss a clap back gone too far. The Lyons vs The Dubois. Ms. Dubois begin to speak but her lawyer interjects.  Of course, he suggested the Lyons speak first. Cookie's agitation with the Dubois family has her OG temperament turned up to 1000. Cookie and Lucious makes it clear to the Dubois Family, they know they had Bella taken. Ms. Dubois  calls herself chastising  Lucious tone of voice as if he was her child. Cookie response to that was, " Bitch do you want me to jump across this table." Not surprise by Ms. Dubois comeback either, "you feeling froggy so leap. Man, I would love to see Cookie and Ms. Dubois have a little cat fight. Something tells me Ms. Dubois had her share of OG moments, she just classy with it. 

Feelings are very emotional for The Lyon Family. Thirsty gives his statement about how this is about a child. Hakeem is missing from this meeting. According to Thirsty, Bella being taken has him distorted. Angelo say his family had nothing to do with Bella being taken. Jamaal points out the $5 million dollar check his family took for this war between the families to be over. Maybe $5 million wasn't enough. Jamaal seems like he is disappointed in Angelo. How much pay back does the Dubois Family want? Jamaal makes a point that the Dubois has scooped so low in having Bella taken. As a Dubois family member begins to speak, Andre makes it clear to Lucious; that's Ezekiel Dubois which is Snoop's banker. Remember, he told Snoop it wasn't good timing to invest in the Inferno project.  Ezekiel stated the Lyons caused Angelo his career. I agree with Jamaal, politics and taking a baby are two different things. Don't fight that dirty by involving a innocent child. Everyone emotions take over the meeting. Anika tells everyone to shut up. With tears in her eyes, Anika begs for help with finding her child and getting her child back. Ms. Dubois has the most sincere look on her face as she apologize to Anika. She basically tells Anika she is guilty by association. As Ms. Dubois rambles about her family connection, Lucious cuts her off. He see this meeting is a waste of time. Lucious called the Dubois family clap back fancy, lmao. However, he makes it clear his family clap back hits real hard. For a second, everyone sits in silence. Ms. Dubois tells Anika she has no idea what happened to her child. Cookie know she is lying. She asked, "Do y'all really want to go down that road?" That devilish look and that smirky smile on Cookie's face means danger coming.

Anika, Hakeem and Thirsty is waiting to be seen at the Child Protection Services Office. Anika sits blaming herself and feeling like her bad deeds has caused Bella to suffer. Hakeem shows maturity by telling her to not be so hard on herself. Bella was suppose to be release to Anika but now Bella is MIA. Motions has been filed on Bella's case with no knowledge of who did it. The social worker's supervisor said according to the motions, it will be months before they see Bella. Hakeem  gets very upset. "Last name Lyon, first name Bella. Last name Lyon, first name Bella. Find my daughter", Hakeem said aggressively. We have seen Hakeem be a spoil brat for season 1 and 2. We now see him loving someone other then his self. Children can have that affect on you. 

Back at the Lyon mansion, Cookie and Lucious discuss the difference in the Lyon family and the Dubois. Cookie points out the Dubois has a power they haven't seen before. Lucious point out they are a monster they haven't seen before. The Dubois is winning this war because they are a powerful family that sticks together. Cookie understands and knows the weakness of their family. The Lyons stay divided so much and that's their weakness as a family. Cookie tells Lucious they have to do  better but it's not in them. Thirsty tells them they underestimated the Dubois. On paper, none of the Lyons are fit to take care of a child. Lucious and Anika marriage has to end quickly that's the only hope to get Bella back. Until Bella is returned, the family has to stay out of trouble and stick together.  Yes they can come together in a crisis. Can they truly stay out of trouble and peaceful with each other while in that crisis? I don't think so because this Vegas deal is a big issue.

Lucious is preparing to take back his throne. Jamaal stops by hoping to catch a sneak peek. Lucious decides to do a remix to the track him and Jamaal did. Lucious wants to put a rapper on the track but Jamaal isn't feeling that. Lucious always take over. Jamaal is talented and he is also creative. Lucious calls Jamaal's approach soft. Shots fired as always. Against his judgement, Jamaal agrees to meet with Lucious and the rapper he wants on the track. Don't know why Lucious can't let it be? 

I was so happy to see Porsha. Porsha hasn't been in many scenes this season. Cookie is talking to Porsha about getting When Cookie Met Lucious approval from  Lucious for Vegas. Shine and Andre enters Cookie's apartment. Cookie has her plan in motion for the Vegas deal. It also looks like she has a plan for getting her grandbaby back. Shine is worried about his position with Empire. His last name isn't Lyon so how does Cookie plan work for him? Andre is on edge. Looks like Andre is losing control. His only desire is to kill Lucious. Shine leaves before he has to kill Andre. Cookie tells Andre to get proactive and call his doctor.  Lmao, at Porsha. She tried telling Andre she has a doctor. Cookie yells, "Shut up Porsha. Mind your business."

Jamaal arrives to the studio to find no rapper. The rapper allegedly got shot 4 times. Jamaal is like the pot just thickens. Lucious feels the shooting wasn't confirmed so the meeting still happening. In walks the rapper for the track. What do you know, the rapper is Fetty Wap. He in the studio on crunches and a bandage on his arm. His shooting was just confirmed. Jamaal sees him popping pills for his pain. Was that a flashback for him? As Fetty begins rapping, his wounds begin to bleed. Jamaal is concerned but Lucious see it as hunger. Jamaal agrees the rapper is dope but the track isn't right. Lucious always finds away to take shots at his sons. He compares Jamaal getting shot one time to Fetty's character being shot four times and in the studio working. But Jamaal shot back shut it down. He asked, "how many of y'all been shot before". Everyone in the studio raised there hand but Lucious. Boom!!! Jamaal isn't backing down from Lucious. He makes his point about Lucious not dealing with his father being shot, him taking a bullet for  him and that he knows music better then Lucious think. Jamaal isn't as soft as Lucious be thinking.

Okay! Andre has snapped. I guess Andre said forget the pills and lost his mind. He really has nothing to lose so that makes him so dangerous. He blames Lucious for everything but he also has unfinished business with another person. Anika thinks it's Lucious walking in the  office. Nope it's Andre. Funny seeing husband and wife playing such a violent scene. Their characters are far from who they are; which makes this interesting. Anika must have thought Andre forgave her. He locks the door and tell her they have unfinished business. Anika played it off but Andre reminds her of all her dirty deeds with killing his wife and baby. I was scared the way he grabbed and slammed her on the table. He was ready to make Anika feel his build up of rage. Somebody need to feel his wrath since it can't be Lucious. She saved herself. She confess she sold her soul and now her daughter paying the price. Now, Andre felt that was suffering enough. He didn't kill her. He told her now suffer like I do. I don't think this is over. If they get Bella back, Andre will seek his revenge on Anika some way and some how. That's how it should go down in my eyes. I will be shock if this was the end of that. Hakeem is at home and worried about his daughter. He wants to be alone and kicks everyone out his condo.   

Cookie and Andre has a meeting with Marcon. Andre is annoyed with Cookie. Cookie is trying to sell the When Cookie Met Lucious story as the opening act for Vegas. Cookie is including Lucious in this deal but Andre is trying to exclude Lucious. Andre is determined to take Lucious deal. I mean it was his deal from the start. Lucious wanted no part of Vegas. Marcon wants Lucious. That's it and that's all. I have a funny feeling this deal isn't a good one for Lucious.  Hakeem goes live expressing wanting his daughter back. He points out the Dubois had something to do with her being taken. His rap had me so teary eye. His expression of not having his daughter pulls at your heart strings. As always, Hakeem music makes an impact on his fans. Just as Ms. Dubois admit to not having the baby and Angelo not wanting this all to get out of control; a mob of fans comes running up chanting Free Bella and holding free Bella signs. 

Lucious feeling bad for Bella being taken. He doesn't feel like all of the family problems and issues is his fault. He asked his mother was he a good father. Mama Leah said, " You not even a good person". CTFU!!!! Sad but true, Lucious agreed with her. 

Andre and Cookie have a heated talk about Lucious and the Vegas deal. Cookie  feel they need Lucious to close this deal. Andre feels they don't. He feels Cookie will always protect Lucious. Sadly, Andre is right; she will. Andre has been pushed to no returned at this  point. I see him taking down his entire family if he need to in  order to kill Lucious. Even tho Cookie is on point about Giuliana. Giuliana is about to burn Lucious again. Andre agrees but he doesn't care. Nessa comes to Andre defense. Man, she should have kept her mouth close. She tells Cookie she shouldn't brought Lucious in on the Vegas deal. Followed by Andre is grown and you can't talk to him like that. Cookie asked Andre to understand what she was about to do. Before you know it, Cookie slaps Nessa so hard my face hurts. Nessa might need a dentist. Cookie makes one last attempt to get Andre to understand, without doing things her way....they will lose everything.

CHECK OUT THE SLAP OF ALL SLAPS SCENE

Lucious is playing the piano when Mama Leah comes in with a box. She show Lucious pictures of his father. She feel she would have been a much better mother if he didn't get killed and Lucious would be a better person. She feels violence made him who he is. Lucious feels he should have help his father. His mother said then he would have  got killed to. He compare his lack of courage to help his father to Jamaal courage to help him. Jamaal is special as she told Lucious; but I don't think Lucious put no light in him.  This was a touching moment to see Lucious have with his mother. She maybe crazy but you can see she love her son. Mama Leah gave Lucious the comfort he needed.

Jamaal goes on his rant about their track. Lucious tried to interrupt him. After Jamaal finish, Lucious showed him the studio. The studio was filled with pictures of his father. Lucious decided to do the song Jamaal's way. I guess what his mother told him touched some part of him. I  must admit, Jamaal and Lucious working together is powerful. Remember when he selected Jamaal to run Empire. The track was done and Lucious had a smile on his face. 

Andre brings Hakeem to the laundromat. Cookie isn't feeling Hakeem being there. She makes Andre take Hakeem out of there.  What do you know? Cookie had Shine to grab Angelo. Angelo was tied up and beaten. Angelo tries to talk sense into Cookie. Angelo admits he was hurt but he would never go that low to take her granddaughter. Cookie tells Angelo, "Everything your mama said about me was right." She ordered Angelo to talk to his mother. She walks out leaving Shine and his crew to make her point more clear to Angelo. 

Cookie tells Lucious she doesn't think Angelo is in on taking Bella. She went straight OG on Angelo and he confessed to nothing. Cookie tells Lucious that When Cookie Met Lucious will be on the stage in Vegas. She admit to talking to Marcon. She tried to convince Lucious they need to stick together as a family. Their  disconnect as a family caused them a blind attack. Cookie tried to get him to see her plan is a win win for the family. Empire gets the casino and Lucious gets the show. In walks Giuliana worrying about what she gets. Marcon informed her of the meeting he had with Cookie. She came back just to make sure Lucious does what she wants him to do. Like her puppet, Lucious tells Cookie Inferno is the Vegas deal. Lucious picked his self and Giuliana over his family. Cookie tells Lucious, "I did 17 years for you". Giuliana said, " Thank you for that. I will take it from here". Girl bye!!! Cookie should have slapped her mouth closed. Lucious sat there and said nothing. Unbelievable how he picking a woman who has betrayed him over a woman who has always had his back. You can't say who is the mother of his kids because he treats his sons like crap as well. See, this is why Cookie needs to just let Andre lose on Lucious. Lucious only cares about Lucious. He has no sense of family. Every time you think he is putting their needs first, he always backstab you and put his need first. How much love does he have for Giuliana? Hmmmmmm!

Nessa and Andre talk. She realize Andre has used her to his ability. The Vegas deal has no spot for her. Nessa was disrespected by Cookie, Tori took her song and Giuliana offered him Vegas. Andre did nothing to defend Nessa and was ready to sleep with Giuliana. Nessa isn't Rhonda. Nessa doesn't understand Andre is a ticking time bomb. His family is his target especially his father. Andre tried to convince Nessa that it all can work out for her. He kisses Nessa but she pushes him away and starts hitting him. I am confused, is she in love with Andre or mad he didn't further her career? She calls Andre crazy and that he is. 

Angelo wasn't killed. He vowed to have every Lyon thrown in jail. After getting his wounds medical attention from his mama, Angelo wanted to go to the police. At the ring of a bell we get that OMG moment of the episode. Extraordinary times calls for extraordinary measures in the words of Diana Dubois. The shocking look on Angelo's face when he see a woman come in the room, pushing a stroller with Bella inside. Omgggg!!! Will Angelo scoop to his mother level or will he remember the love he once had for Cookie? How can you have a foundation to help underprivileged kids but kidnap a baby? What will Angelo do especially after being tortured for information? Will he give Bella back?

Empire really has us on the edge of our seats. The next two episodes have to be explosive. Don't know about you but I can't wait.  Stay tune!!

If you missed this episode, you can catch it on Comcast On Demand or Fox Now App.  

SNEAK PEEK OF PART 1 of TOILS AND TROUBLE

SNEAK PEEK OF PART 2  of TOILS AND TROUBLE~ A HEIST

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Editor: Lattice Johnson