#this blog is an absolute mess I'm so sorry haha

[wellitsjustmeagain]

... #Whoops

don't call me out don't call me out don't call me out don't

[petrifiedperi-au]

Uehrueheu this au got my in a choke hols!! Imagine when Peri comes back to Dev and does his little ghost mode act in front of Dev by mistake. Do you think Dev would think Peri died again!

Dev gaining confetti ptsd xD what if he tried to hide it from Peri (his worry that is) but everytime he saw Peri and confetti he starts making simple wishes. Worried for a second go at magical back up.

The worry of “have I been making enough wishes? Is Peri gonna have to die again? Is he ok? What do I do?” Kinda thoughts.

Can’t remember if you said Peri will randomly cough up confetti still or if im thinking of another au but I imagine if that was this one then Dev goes into a panic over Peri when it happens. Kids getting war flashbacks to the war he started.

~hollysfairyhell (sorry it’s my side hoe blog)

[AU info here!]

WHAAA EHEHE I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE AU!!! It's also got me in a chokehold, HAHAHA. These are GREAT questions! >:D

Peri DOES randomly cough up confetti sometimes, yeah— same with rainbows! Which makes everything extra fun and silly. AND YEAH... DEV DOES FREAK OUT. It takes him a WHILE to get used to it, and even then, it's still a LOT. CAUSE... I MEAN... Peri exploded. In front of him.

Dev definitely suppressed the FUCK out of that, sure, but like... the kid is still traumatized. He watched his PARENT die. The only one that cared about him. While he was ALONE with him...

AND. YES. DEV DOES FREAK OUT AT THE GHOST MODE. Especially because it leaves a bit of confetti after— it freaks BOTH him AND Peri out, especially since they PROBABLY end up doing it the first time in front of him/near him. Dev ABSOLUTELY hides it though.

Him thinking he's alone in the room and being all emotional and then Peri shows back up/makes himself visible and Dev is like "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!" and Peri is just... "Haha I uh, I've been here the whole time, actually." It's funny silly but also the ANGST.

ADDING ONTO THAT, Dev absolutely makes a comment at some point about how their magic is all fucked up. "Why isn't your magic WORKING?!" While gritting his teeth and Peri just rattles their clearly cracked wand around ad they try to get it to work. He's CONCERNED but there's no way he'd let that show... but Peri probably already knows, honestly. This IS their Godkid, after all!

I haven't figured out the extent of "slightly broken slightly messed up" magic yet... but wish granting doesn't ALWAYS go as planned. Think of it maybe like how Cosmo's magic wasn't working well in the first episode, when trying to change Hazel back from being a fly. Exceppttt... it's like that almost ALL the time. And it extends to everything and not just blasting stuff LMAO, if that makes sense!

I HOPE THESE ANSWERS ARE GOOD RAGGHHH I LOVE LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS SO MUCH!!! Please never stop sending them I can never get enough HAHAHA!

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

heya i'm getting into bsd again and realized that you're the only bsd blog i follow 😭 would it be possible for you to recommend some good blogs? i assume you'd know a few, but sorry if this comes off as pushy or weird

Hiii! Thank you for the ask, I’m genuinely sorry for taking like a million years to answer it. It’s a really awesome ask, so don’t worry, it wasn’t pushy or weird! I know it may have seem as though I didn’t like it since it took me good 2 months to get to it, but I really appreciate it and I was simply busy with real life stuff. Feel free to always ask me about cool blogs to follow, I’m more than happy to give my mutuals and other creators a shout out!

I listed some of my personal favourite blogs alphabetically to make it a bit more organized haha

For the tagged creators: I provided little descriptions for some of the creators listed here, but if I accidentally messed something up, just let me know and I’ll change it. Also don’t worry if you’re on the list without a description, it just means I didn’t know how to put my appreciation into words.

@akutagawah – edits

@awkwardbsd – general bsd posting

@bapplebeess – fanart

@bemysillygoose – fanart

@canetteto – fanart

@carrotkicks – fanart. Has an analog horror series and different storylines, so if you’re interested in exploring different stories through fanart, this is your person

@choccatto – fanart

@creantzy – fanart. The creator of a really cool fan comic called The Path to Freedom and the Bernadette 2023 animatic (as a member of the fyolai nation, I absolutely adore their content)

@credensjustitiam – fanart

@dailynakaharachuuya – fanart

@dazaistabletop – general bsd posting

@deadmitochondria – memes. The only inactive blog on this list, but it’s worth it

@death-in-a-handbasket – fanart

@destructive-delight – fanart. If you like angst and horror vibes, you’ll absolutely LOVE it here

@dsskkrt-jpeg – fanart. The creator of the Nowhere to Run animatic (and overall a fyolai icon)

@emilylovescookies – fanart

@featherphoenixart – fanart

@flower-of-darkness – THE analysis queen

@fyodors-fancy-teacup – fanart

@greendy2l – fanart

@hant-huyant – fanart (though not really active on tumblr I think)

@hoshiumiumi – fanart

@imsofrancey – fanart

@inkantigen – fanart

@itotypes – fanart and fics. The creator of Mors Omni Vincit on ao3 (the pirate!au)

@iwritenarrativesandstuff – analyses

@kaus-quietis – my jojo sis. She did an incredible analysis of Fedya that’s a must read!!! She used to post fanart, but is now focusing on her studies (let’s gooooo)

@koiblossom5 – hilarious incorrect quotes.

@kokoasci – fanart

@kyouka-supremacy – general bsd posting. The president of sskk nation (not officially, but c’mon she deserves this title)

@marshukitty – fanart

@miammey – fanart and fics on ao3. One of the only people I’ve seen who does art of the Hunting Dogs, so if you’re interested in THD, Miam is a must follow

@mochimochips – fanart. One of the only artists who consistently make fanarts of Verlaine and Rimbaud (and that’s very rare in the fandom!)

@mr-vanhellis – fanart

@nnakahara – moodboards. Our favourite historian ♡

@nixnephilii – fanart. The creator of Fyo!Atsushi au, which nevel fails to make me gasp, because it’s incredible

@originalartblog – fanart. The creator of Goosamu (who is Dazai as a goose and is VERY dear to my heart), and a few other AUs

@phonyrams – fanart

@platykool – fanart. Some of my absolute favourite fanarts of Sigma! (and doa and bsd overall, but I really wanted to highlight Sigma)

@pleucas – fanart

@pompompurin1028 – fics. Some of the best, most in-character fics I’ve ever read. If you like Dazai, you’ll ADORE her fics.

@popopretty – an absolute MVP of this fandom. Translations, summaries and trivia

@rampopurin – analysis and general bsd posting. The science side of bsd fandom (if you wanna learn about space and science through bsd go follow!)

@rinqueraa – fanart

@sandyy-boo – fanart

@sensitiveheartless – fanart and fics. So many awesome AUs and comics (they’re listed in Senhart’s pinned post, so they’re really easy to find)

@slothfail – fanart

@tatooou-art – fanart

@tecchous-thicc-buttocks – incorrect quotes

@tunamayuuu – fanarts. The creator of kny!au

uwu-m1lk – fanart

wrenkos – fanart

PS. if any of you guys want to add more creators to the list, feel free to do so in the reblogs!

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕎𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕣'𝕤 𝕁𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @modyuki @virtualpoison @miguelito-maruti-blog @written-by-kafka @superstar-ethereal

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Wanderer's Journey - Mizuki Akiyama

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You had a very stupid idea today... to have a walk around forest in the middle of the winter. Sure, views were pretty... and you expected you'd be able to go back becuase of tracks you left! But you didn't took storm into consideration...

So few hours later, you were already deep in the forest, with no idea where to go or where you are... all you could feel was cold running through your body, making you want to just collapse. You were walking since morning and it was already getting darker... you felt like you could pass out any second.

You were walking blindly, trying to use your hands to warm up, so you didn't notice when you bumped into someone.

"Ah, sorry... I wasn't looking..."

"Do you know how to get to the city?"

You bluntly asked stuttering becuase of the cold, hoping that whoever you bumped into could help you out...

"O-Oh gosh... you're at the verge of passing out... Yes, I do! But... it's few hours from here..."

"It's okey... you don't have to go with me. Just... could you point the way so I know where to go?"

You were absolutely desperate to get to your warm four walls. Completely not realizing that the person you were talking to actually had horns and was completely immune to coldnes...

"It's dangerous! You... might want to stay somewhere else."

"I don't have any place like that. Just...."

"Then how about mine?"

They quickly offered, their voice having hint of worry. They quickly offered their hand to you, hoping you might take it and not run away like every other person they met... and... surprisingly you did! They felt small smile forming on their face before wrapping their cape around you in one swift motion and leading you to their place.

"I promise it's gonna be alright. It's hardly 10 minutes from here!"

And so... you followed them! It was a nice and warm cottage hidden among the bushes. You quickly slumped onto the couch, while they ran off to the ktichen. But as quickly as they left, they came back with a cup of warm tea that smell filled the room~

"Here, this should help I think..."

"It does... thank you... you're really nice..."

"Not all of us are bad... just... you humans who're scared of us for our appearence..."

"What?"

You looked up a bit confused, finally noticing their unique characteristics... you stopped sipping the tea you got to process what you're seeing.

"You have... horns?!"

"Oh gosh you didn't- Please don't scream. I swear I'm not bad... if it'll make you more comfortable I can let you out right here and now and show you the way just-"

By now, they were a rambling mess... You had to interrupt their speech so they'd finally stop being stressed about nothing!

"No! I just got surprised is all... I trust you."

They finally looked at you in silence. Their eyes sparkling with newly found hope and their mouth forming the gentlest and softest smile you ever saw...

"I'm glad~ I-I have much more to offer! Do you like cake? I was waiting to eat it with someone finally! I promise it's great!"

"Haha~ Of course, gladly. Thank you for offering."

"Thank you for not running away. I'll bring some extra blankets while I'm on it!"

You could only chuckle once more as they ran around in excitment to do all the stuff they wanted but couldn't for such a long time... you have no idea how someone could be afraid of someone as gentle, caring and fun as them.

But there was one thing you knew... that now when you knew about them and since you're staying here for a while... you won't let them feel lonely and repay for their kindness with fun time!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[mementoshay]

I don't know if you're still online and you dont have to reply to this. If anything, I think you deserve to be at peace and to live your life to the fullest. It's so kind of you to have created this blog in memory of Shay.

I went here because I read the doc and Shay reminded me of a friend I used to have. The way they talk, and how nice they were reminds me so much of that friend , the resemblance is uncanny.. haha. Coincidentally, they were once a hazbin fan too. But it was in 2019, the doc seems to refer to 2023. I also know the person I knew is still alive so it's not Shay

I guess it struck because of the resemblance. I don't know if I should talk about that person's mental health problems but I'll say they were also struggling a lot and dealt with bullying in their life, i dont know how they're doing now. But they had kind friends online and loving family so I suppose this is one of the things that helped them not to meet the same fate Shay sadly met.

I'm sorry that bullies caused this, and I'm sorry about how the other people tried to take the doc down. I think you did a really sweet thing and I'm glad I read the document. I don't know what kind of person I'd become if I'd gone through what you went through. I'm sure it's really hard. It was really hard for me to see that person struggle, you must have gone through a tsunami of grief, and still do.

Hi, there.

Yes, we are still online and alive and kicking. But it comes in waves, it's a process, I guess.

Your friend sounds absolutely precious. I really hope they're doing well and they're living their life to the fullest, today. True, so much pain and grief comes our way, but life can really be something special if only we focused on the good things.

It's nice to hear they've got a strong and loving support system. We tried, with Shay (well Eden did). But it all happened so fast and so unexpectedly it was like being hit by an avalanche. An avalanche is still dragging on, it seems, for many parts of the fandom (other RadioDust shippers, along with RadioHusk and RadioBelle shippers are actively being targeted for whatever reason), in favor of what is considered "acceptable".

All in all, bullies have always existed, but it's not an excuse not to call them out and put them into their place. All I know is the ones who tried to take the doc down are hardcore HuskerDust shippers (some of which quite close to Ms. Medrano's circle), so if you are one, draw your own conclusions. For my part, I have left the discussion since Shay passed, and even just watching from the sidelines leaves a real bad taste in my mouth.

It is hard, it really is. For me, I'm no longer actively involved in the fandom and it's more of a "smh not again" kind of deal rather than feeling personally attached to what's happening. However (which is part of the reason why we went quiet) Eden is the one who seems to be dealing with it the worst. Don't worry, she has regular therapy sessions and a strong network of close friends iRL.

But you said well, Anon. It's a tsunami, there's still a lot of pain, a lot of anger and a lot of grief. A lot of damage has been done, and so much more now that new people (and new bullies) are flooding into the fandom to drop their two cents in this mess. We already got multiple DMs and private asks of people connecting with Shay's experience and telling us about their own and how they feel. And while we're glad this little space is offering some level of comfort or support, I feel like it's a bit of a double-edged sword, you know?

I think the safest thing to say is, it was traumatic for all of us, for some more than others. So we're currently coping with trauma, each in our own way.

Thank you so much for your loving words. Hugs to you and your sweet friend!

- Liv

[sexybabystevie]

i saw someone else do this and IM DYING to know so... if you had to assign each mutual a taylor album what would they all be assigned?

i already know i'm gonna forget people because i still, unfortunately, do not have all of my mutuals on my list (ugh i keep forgetting :") ) but here we go!! if i don't tag you i'm sorry, and if you reply i'd love to add you!! <333

starting with ally since she sent this in :)

ally @yoalchumly - red tv. not only because you listened to atw10 for HOURS upon hours in a single week lol, but also because a lot of how we met and the things we talked about remind me of the topics of this album. also, you have the very sincere, heartfelt and emotional (not at all in a bad way) nature to you, and to me that's what encapsulates the red album <3

lily @my-my-only-angel - (first of all i am SO sorry we hardly ever interact, but ily!! my tumblr feed sucks these days and i rarely ever see your posts but i still very much appreciate you!!) to me, you are SO cool it's not even funny. and you have the best bad bitch energy (a lot of people here a going to be hearing this btw so be prepared) so ultimately i'm bestowing upon you reputation!! you give off the vibes of someone who is unapologetically and confidently themselves, and i really admire that in you! that energy is absolutely present and rep and there is why i associate it with you!! <3

ela @lovelyela - (i know you're still kind of inactive but that's totally okay! i've been a mess about my blog recently so it's not biggie, but i wanna include you anyway so i hope that's okay!!) every time i've spoken to you, you have been absolutely so kind and sweet! you were one of my first even stranger things related mutuals, and i'll never forget that!! for that reason, i'm giving you debut album taylor swift!! you have the very kind, shy kind of vibe that that lbum has as a whole to me!! <3

natti @natti-ice - okay. you are literally so cool i'm not even kidding. like i am SO honored that you're one of my mutuals/friends and i LOVE always seeing you in my feed! so i'm also giving you reputation because, again, you have amazing energy that's very confident and you're just SO cool <3

vic @royalmaybank - we haven't interacted in like. a REALLY long time and i am so sorry!! i absolutely need to catch up on what you've written recently!! to me, you give off both the vibes of lover and folklore, but if i had to ultimately pick one then i think i'd go with folklore! the softness and calmness of it all, combined with the way that to me, every song on that album feels so made with love reminds me of you!! <3

anna @keeryshouse - anna!! we haven't talked in SO long but i'll literally never forget the first time we talked!! i always looked up to you a lot and that was just so so special to me! (and also when that anon said they thought we were the same person. literally one of the highest compliments i have ever received 😭) i'm giving you evermore!! for a lot of reasons haha. your writing is absolutely amazing - you write scenes and characters and just EVERYTHING so well - and to me you have the steve harrington fanfic equivalent of evermore's amazing lyrical genius. also!! your writing also makes me SO emotional, no matter the genre or what's happening in the story, and i think that's another thing that evermore does amazingly and so do you!! <3

ava @lxvecakes - you are so absolutely lover. from your theme to your love of pink and the overall softness of your personality!! you have such amazing and sincere lover vibes, and you were absolutely the easiest person for me to choose an album for, honestly!! not only are you absolutely enamored with love and being in love, but you're also such a lover yourself and i think that's absolutely amazing and beautiful!! <3

anna @steddiesandwich - a little unrelated but i absolutely miss talking to and interacting with you!! i still see you on my dash on occasion but i do miss some of the little convos we used to have because they were so fun! if i chose an albm for you, i'd choose midnights! i feel as though your blog is very organized, but you also have such a wide variety of ships and characters from stranger things that is so refreshing to see, and it reminds me of the ways in which midnights is basically bits and pieces of all of her other albums, a gian variety that is tied together beautifully, and that so reminds me of you and your blog! <3

lo @noirgoths - lo!!! i adore you and talking to you so much, and you've been so kind and have been there for me so much in the past few months, and i am so so grateful for that! :) you're someone who's very honest and genuine, but you're also so so cool too!! you're very strong and independent in ways that i wish i could be, and that reminds me a lot of midnights and how the songs there are both very open and sincere and are also self-aware and uplifting at times!! <3

bee @sunflowerharrington - we haven't interacted in a while or very much, but i still look up to you a lot and wish we did talk a little more!! but no worries because honestly i'm a little shy lmao; anyway! from what i've seen of you and how we've interacted together, you remind me most of midnights as well! (sorry 😭 a lot of midnights album recipients in a row but it's simply my opinion :") ) you have a lot of the qualities that i identified with lo; unapologetic sincerity regarding yourself and who you are, etc, and i know that we don't talk that much so i could be totally wrong, and that's my bad if so! (also i hope this isn't awkward because i'm cursed with not knowing how to talk to people :") ) <3

brooke @circesstars - oh my gosh. you are SO so kind and considerate and helpful, and i'm so glad that you're always open to helping me with things when needed!! i love when we randomly talk late at night (lmao) and discuss the absolute most random things :) for that reason, and a few others, you most remind me of 1989! a lot of songs on 1989 are about friendship and how important being with friends is, and that along with your general vibes really reminds me of 1989! (i genuinely hae no idea how to describe the vibes thing, so my apologies lmao. you just very much remind me of moving/visiting new york with all your closest friends and having the time of your life while there :) ) <3

athena @puppy-coded - i'm so glad that we became mutuals a little while ago!! your energy and vibes are, as your url says lol, very puppy coded and i love that! you have such an energetic and fun vibe and i love it, and thus you remind me of 1989 in that way (that's totally different from brooke's 1989 vibes?? idk how my brain works, oops-) anyway :") <3

persephone @very-offkey-kazoo - i love love LOVE talking to you so much!! the little dad jokes everyday and just talking to you about anything in general - including, ofc, cat pics <3 - makes me so happy and i always love hearing from you each day!! i value your friendship so so much!! the album i'm giving you is speak now, which makes more sense to me personally than it probably will vibes or content wise. speak now is the taylor album that i largely associate with the best parts of my childhood, and even though we haven't been talking for this long, talking to you is so easy that it feels almost like i'm talking to someone i've known since i was that little :) maybe that's weird - idk :") - but!! that's the album that i most associate with you <3

OKAY i'm done!! as i said if i forgot anyone i am SOOO sorry, please let me know and i'd love to write you one!! <333

[zorkaya-moved]

happy birthday, serin! 2.20.23

We love/hate tumblr dot com for erasing my birthday message to one amazing and talented Serin at @venenumroses ! Have you all had the time to check her out? Speak with her? Commission her? See her writing and her works in art and photoshop? The very icon you see on this post is actually one of her amazing works. So make sure to look at what she does and don't hesitate to reach out to her! But let me just into screaming at my friend about how much I love her.

Serin, hi! Sorry this came out so damn late, I didn't see how queue messed up and erased all the queued posts, including the previous one I wrote. However! This does not mean I'll stop screaming about you and how amazing you are. I know things are tough and I know that you've been having troubles with writing, getting inspiration, you're burn out. Please, never feel bad for taking a break. Dedicate your time to games! Resident Evil remake is coming out soon and I know how excited you are about it! Listen, if I see any art of the charas I'm sending it your way if you haven't seen them yourself haha. I just hope you know that you are wonderful, beautiful, and amazing. On this day, I really hope that you've been having a good day and you've been getting some delicious cake or whatever you wanted to snack on or enjoy!

You've always been kind and you've always been insanely creative. You and Everi were my muses and my inspirations to create original characters and you continue to astonish me with your grasp on all your OCs. Miss Crystal will always be taking the throne, of course, she's a queen and a goddess, but I love how you expand into your own lore with your multimuse blog. Every character seems so different, so unique, so fucking amazing. I also love to learn more about Crystal from your replies, your answers, and your threads with other people. I love your passion, I love how unapologetic you are about loving Crystal and how ruthless & strong she is. Go off queens, you got it! Your passion for creation and your talents within those fields are absolutely spectacular. They are like a never-ending flower garden of ideas. Absolutely gorgeous. Like you are: gorgeous, strong, and powerful. I will fight the world for you, I will kick anyone for you.

Happy Birthday!! Let's kick 2023 to make it a successful year for you!!

[echoesofadream]

Thank you so much for being so kind and thoughtful in your reply, I'm not used to that amount of kindness on the internet. Thank you for not taking offense! I never meant any.

This is about to be a bit of a mess as I reply to your reply.

What I meant by saying that an eastern artist who learned more about misogyny and such through interaction with western culture would probably expect westerners to know better and so would trust them enough not to really think too much into their lyrics. At least, the people I know who've been through such a process tend to think that way.

I see what you're saying about the MV. I agree, the MV is problematic, though only at the Harlow parts. I don't expect that JK has thought as deeply about that part as we have to realize the problem (by deeply, I mean we have it built into us to look for that sort of thing, while he tends to have an optimistic fun approach to things, especially these last couple of songs, and does not always look into the underlying tones), and I wish the director had not made it like that, but yeah. It is JK's song.

I understand misandry, and I absolutely do not think there's anything wrong with you not liking songs about sex, or heterosexual sex, or any song. I generally don't care for overtly sexual songs myself. Or at least, I'm a bit picky about them.

I also dislike the trend of Jungkook's music right now, but it has only been two songs. Not only that, but they aren't that personal to him. He's picked these songs to sing because he likes the fun vibes and he really hasn't overthought it (we are all obviously analyzing the meanings of the little things in it, especially the negative things, but he did not), and it helps him possibly break out of his baby image. I just think these sort of lack his personal touch. I mean the devotion in Seven and the fun lightheartedness of the MV fit him, like with Left and Right, and I did see bits of that in 3D as well, but I just think 3D really lacks his personal touch. Like it's someone else's idea of a pop star. But Jungkook has said he wants to try many different genres, and he is experimenting. I really hope the album showcases more of his personal talents. Especially since he's so talented in so many things. I guess these features make it easier to break into the Western market, but they are so unnecessary (and I liked Latto's verse in Seven). If JK wants rap in his song, he is totally capable of doing it himself, he is good enough for that. I just really hope his album shows more of his involvement, as the only thing he's really doing in these songs is singing them. At least with Tae's album (which I loved), even though he didn't write or produce for it, but it was his. You could tell just from the vibes and the overall direction how big of a hand he had in it. 3D doesn't seem JK. I hope his album does.

And if you see JK, he's so soft and sweet, and it's obvious he never means any harm. That's the one thing I am 100% certain of.

Nothing wrong with being a hater on your own blog, of course! I'm not trying to change your mind on anything, I just wanted to express my thoughts to someone, and I guess you were unlucky enough to be chosen. I'm sorry if I came across as rude at any point, that's not my intention at all. I love hearing your thoughts.

haha no worries

I really cant speak for that which you said about western vs eastern artists. I think it's very strange if an eastern artist would think, of all people, that a male rapper singing about women is probably 100% harmless. thats mind boggling to me. If jungkook is that clueless hes... like I just doubt it. also I dont know if BTS learned about misogony through the west lol. feminism is a pretty big movement in South Korea you know! let me refer you to this post about namjoon for example: https://leepacey.tumblr.com/post/722599357746216960/bts-member-namjoons-history-with-misogyny-and You can see it's not very umm west-focused. because he is korean. Sure I see your point about jungkook not thinking deeply about this. I dont think so either, and I honestly hope that he is as clueless as you think even though thats not good enough to evade responsibility. I guess you mean he has no intention of harm? I also dont think so. but at the end of the day, the fact that he can look at a music video like this and proudly present it – even if he hasn't put a lot of thought to it– means that somewhere his beliefs and values are ok with such content. wait im not sure how to explain this well..I mean like, he wouldnt have to think so much, because what this mv presents is pretty on the nose and one thing we know is that jungkook didnt oppose to any of it. like the fact that as far as we know he didnt feel any aversion is enough for me to judge him

i kinda agree with everything you said about jungkooks music. Im starting to feel like maybe music as a solo artist isnt for him, and that he saves that for BTS *shrug* like you said hes just having fun right now and not taking it too deeply or seriously. "someone else's idea of a pop star." FOR REAL goddd . Honestly yeah we shouldn't judge his whole future solo career based of what hes doing right now. Like I mean, we should judge this as its own things and then see what he does next. like his album. seriously all hes doing rn is try and appeal to the Western market like you said. and thats like. ok do that but im not gonna be invested or care for it.

"At least with Tae's album (which I loved), even though he didn't write or produce for it, but it was his. You could tell just from the vibes and the overall direction how big of a hand he had in it." YES!!!!!!

"And if you see JK, he's so soft and sweet, and it's obvious he never means any harm. That's the one thing I am 100% certain of." lol you are more confident than me and trust him way more than me, good for you honestly. For the most part I agree but I also dont know him and there have been some red flags honestly. and I know twitter armys would have me executed for saying that but its what I feel, I dont trust men and whether we like to admit it or not he is a 26 year old man they are pretty bad as a demographic.

nothing about what you said was rude and I didnt mind your asks at all! its totally fine you can express your opinions here whenever you want I love asks actually and i could talk about bts all day I already do it in my head so

[we-pay-for-everything]

So I’m watching Angel for the first time and I cannot be the only one who is extremely confused about the Angel and Cordelia pairing.

I really don’t understand why Angel is acting the way he is at the beginning of season 4 when Cordelia is in the higher plane. You would think he just lost his wife of 50 years or something. I get that Angel can be obsessive but there is just no basis for this bizarre and kind of childish behaviour, especially when the Connor love triangle starts (which wtf is that even?). I can buy into him having feelings for her in season 3 and her being oblivious but them pushing this as some kind of great love in season 4 is absurd to me. There was absolutely no build up to this, there was nothing. They’ve never even talked directly to each other about their feelings for each other, they’ve never even kissed each other, there was never a romantic relationship at all and every single one of their love scenes was either when they were under possession, in a hallucination or a dream and I’m expected to believe that this is some grand love story? It just does not come off as a love story, it comes off as a story about misunderstanding and miscommunication and honestly, delusion. Like was it ever actually going to be a thing or were they just going to do the will-they-won’t-they forever? Not that I was ever rooting for it in the first place but it feels like the show is doing everything it can to make people NOT ship this. I’m starting to get very irritated by this in an otherwise much more interesting season than season 3…I hope this doesn’t drag on for much longer as I just watched the episode awakening and Angelus just returned and I just really want to enjoy Angelus.

First of all, I hope you're enjoying Angel! Do let me know what you think, especially about the ending of season 4 and season 5!

Secondly, I feel you and I agree with you. You haven't finished season 4 yet, but, in my opinion, season 4 is the season that most effectively "undermines" Cangel but highlighting how destructive, selfish and OOC Angel behaved because of Cordelia. He put his son second and that's not Angel. He was a mess and clinging to a delusion. Like you said, it was a delusion. Angel spent a summer dreaming of his perfect family. It wasn't really about love, it was about making that dream that had been permanently engraved in his brain a reality. We know Angel has a tendency to grab onto one ideal or dream that he thinks will lead him to salvation or happiness, and pursue it to the point of obsession and self-destruction (ie. Shanshu and Darla in season 2). Season 4 is just another example of that. I think seasons 2 and 3 have a lot of continuity in that sense. He wasn't in love with neither Darla nor Cordelia and sleeping with them was not perfect happiness (one was perfect despair and the other didn't even happen).

After you finish season 4 (or before, if you don't mind spoilers), I've written so much about Angel and Cordelia's relationship, particularly in season 3: x x x x x x, etc. I could only find old asks... You can look through my ATS asks if you ever feel like it though, haha. Sorry that I couldn't find my best posts. I don't really have time to hash it out now so I'll just have to refer you to my blog if you want my thoughts. And thank you for at least appreciating season 4 more than season 3! Season 4 packs one hell of a punch, especially after the Angelus arc.

Thanks for the ask! Feel free to come vent anytime! I'm curious about your first time reactions :)

[freebooter4ever]

Hello! Another random anonymous but I kept seeing you’re posts about some relationship relating things and saw the negative stuff you’ve said about yourself. Even if they might be teasing jokes about yourself, you might not realize this (and not in a creepy way 😅) but you really are wonderful! I love seeing your posts and you’re personality!

You’re super pretty too! This might sound really random and weird (and I’m honestly probably not getting the right context of anything because I’m sort of confuse about the topic since English isn’t my first language and the events are hard to catch up with) but my grandma has found love when she was in her 50s and has lived a nice life.

I know your situation differ from hers but have faith in yourself. Nothing is wrong with you at all, it just takes time to find the person right for you and when you do, you’ll find someone who deserves you and you deserve them, if you wish to find someone to love of course. But try to remember that you should try and have some more love for yourself, no matter how tough it can get.

Just know that there are people out there and no doubt people waiting to meet you and love you. Haha sorry if this all sounds super weird and awkward, it’s just how the people of my culture see things. There’s always that one person out there who loves you and is waiting to love you 😊

Hi there! Not annoying at all, my entire blog could probably be classified as annoying, this is most definitely not a curated space :). I waited to respond to this cause i wasn't sure how.

First, im really sorry, i should probably tag my insecurity posts with trigger warnings, i know it can be...a bit much. and can hurt other people who read it. The good news is the insecurities usually only happen when im dating and i like...never...date. So as soon as i find a job i will happily go back to 'im too busy to date', and i can shove the insecurity back under the self hating rug. Its like a hornets nest - its only if you poke the nest that you get stung and i keep poking the nest lately.

Second, I apologize if i generalized too much, i am trying to be more aware of myself doing that. There's lots of examples of friends with good long relationships in my life - the friend whose wedding i'm going to has been with her husband for ten years, my other childhood bff has been with her partner for 11, and jelly bean and her husband have been married since 2015 and dating since college (lord we are old). And of the celebrity couples i kinda idolize, im pretty sure only steve ao*ki and recently rami (lol good for him) are the ones with break ups. (i have been REALLY entertained by the sheer sudden volume increase in thirst traps on steve's insta starting around the time nicole got cozy with this new guy and deleted her loving tributes to steve off her account - dont get me wrong i fully appreciate the photos and selfies, enjoying every minute of it but yeah he must be single right now LOL i would feel more bad for him if he hadnt been the one doing the dumping)(it must be hard dating with his insanely fast paced lifestyle though, i dont envy him :( ). So its absolutely a 'me' problem.

My only experiences dating over the years have taught me that i dont have much to offer that someone cant get through friendship (or friends with benefits) - entertaining and fun to hang out with but not pretty enough (or good in bed enough LOL) to be actually worthwhile. At this point its kind of a joke; "its saturday night, why are you calling me, dont you have somewhere to be?" "no, of course not, i was wondering if i could come hang out with your dog"

Thanks for trying to cheer me up? :) i'm sorry i'm an insecure mess!

[zhongscara]

you're The scara blog to Me so im sending this as a random thought kind of thing

i wish the tumblr post that says "'i could fix him' girl there are like 10 other people trying to fix him yall look like a construction crew" post could apply to him because it would be funny as fuck as an edit but honestly in canon the only 2 people who are trying to do that are nahida and in zhongscara canon, zhongli

and it can't even apply to his fans, bc i'm 99% sure yall also want him to go insane LMAO. anyways these are my spinning scara in the microwave thoughts hi max -welcometoteyvat

call me malware bc i want to make him worse!!!

i mean i do know theres a subset of scara fans that want him to heal and be happy LOL i just like him as the absolute mess he is... like isnt he so cute... yes he bites sorry haha...

thats also how i see zhongli tbh JENWJSJWNSWKSKW like he obviously doesnt want scara to be a wanted criminal but in his ancient god ways he thinks its endearing when scara starts trying to bite peoples ankles

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Accidentally Seeing you Change - The Valorant Guys (p.I)

SFW // Minors and ageless blogs DNI // You will be blocked

Sova

One of the things Sova loves doing with you is repairing the protocol's equipment

The chore itself is pretty dull and there isn't a whole lot the agents can do to make it fun, but ever since he got paired up with you to get it done, he almost... looks forward to it

You're always cracking jokes, finding new ways to make him laugh, giving yourself ridiculous 'war paint' when you clean gun barrels, etc.

He found himself thoroughly looking forward to the time you two spent together

One day, though, you got there a little early to get a head start on repainting some vandals

It would've been an easy enough task if the airbrush hadn't malfunctioned and doused your shirt

You cursed to yourself and surveyed the damage, silently mourning the severity of the new stains on your favorite tank top, but begrudgingly shrugged out of it to grab a spare from your bag

Unfortunately, Sova walked in right at that moment

He almost didn't even know how to react

He was speechless for several moments, his eyes glued to your shirtless frame as you nonchalantly shuffled through your backpack, before he finally snapped himself out of it

He may have knocked over a rack of pistols in his haste to look away, cheeks positively flaming as he held up a hand to shield you from his sight

"I'm- apologies, I'm so sorry."

"Oh! No, Sova, you're fine-"

No matter what you told him, he was basically a bumbling apologetic mess for the entirety of your time together in the equipment room

He couldn't so much as spare you a glance without immediately looking away, a million apologies seeming to spill from his lips

"Its really no big deal, I was wearing a bra."

"You've seen me in less during our beach trips, come on."

"For the last time, I don't hate you."

Yoru

You and Yoru were on a mission together, which didn't happen too terribly often, but he was glad when it did

You could throw back whatever shit he gave you, returning playful insults with an ease that made his cheeks dust pink

Just as you were quick-witted, you also had a fairly sharp eye in the field

You couldn't save him from everything, however, and his current state was a painful reminder of that

You had barely managed to drag the man back to the hideout, Yoru's body basically dead weight as he cradled a tore-up forearm to his chest, rapidly loosing the battle to stay awake

Jostling him as little as possible, you settled him on his cot before scouring the small room and tearing your backpacks apart

"No more bandages, are you fucking kidding me? Fine, fine. We'll make do."

Before he could even wrap his mind around what you were doing, he heard you kick off your boots followed by the rustle of cloth

He should've done the gentlemanly thing- keeping his damn eyes shut and passing out- but curiosity got the better of him

He managed to peel them open, the sight of you shucking off your cargo pants before cutting them into strips with a dagger greeting him

You seemed entirely unfazed as you settled beside him and helped him shrug off the remnants of his jacket, ignoring the sudden boldness the blood loss gave him

"At least let me take you out to dinner first, hmm?"

"Haha, very funny. Next time it'll be your pants I shred."

"You promise?"

He relished in the laugh that earned, only allowing himself to steal glimpses of the smooth skin of your thighs as you carefully cleaned and bandaged him

He waited until you were completely finished dressing his wounds before nodding towards an extra pair of sweats peaking out of the top of his backpack

"Help yourself. Or not. I don't mind."

His eyes were already rolling back into his head when you shot him an amused grin

The next morning, when he was no longer on the verge of passing out and had his wits about him, he was absolutely mortified and could hardly make eye contact with you

You teased him about it for the rest of the mission, silently enjoying the blush it sent creeping down his neck

Chamber

Snow was far down on the list of Chamber's idea of ideal weather, the man trying to get caught in it as little as possible

That's why he found himself opting to stay inside with the other agents while you, Jett, and Phoenix decided to go goof around in the powdery white that had fallen outside

Not even being inside the protocol itself kept all of the cold at bay, though, Chamber shivering slightly as he returned to the locker room from the indoor training arena

He had full intentions of stepping into a hot shower and thawing out for a while, opening up his locker to retrieve a towel and his clean clothes

His plans came to a halt, however, when he heard the sound of feet rush into the room and someone fumbling with a lock

Not long after, there was a faint rustle followed by a slew of hushed curses

Half expecting Neon to have forgotten her combination again, Chamber let out a heavy sigh and began stepping away from his own locker

"You're lucky I don't charge you every time I have to pick the lock, my friend-"

The words died in his throat when he found you staring back at him, clad in nothing but a bra and jeans with a soaked sweater in your hold

After a few moments, you managed to finally speak

"I- uh, I didn't know you were here. There was a snow ball fight. I had to learn the hard way that snow stays pretty solid until it touches something warm."

Despite your cold-induced trembling, you pressed the sweater against your chest to cover yourself as best as you could while you gestured towards your empty locker

"And I forgot to leave a spare jumper in here. Figures."

There was a beat of measured silence, Chamber doing everything in his power to keep his stare fixed only to your face

Before he realized what he was doing, he found himself walking over to you, holding out the knitted turtleneck he was going to change into

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Hmm... you know, on second thought, you could always just go back outside like that-"

You quickly accepted the long-sleeved shirt and tugged it on, sighing in relief at the warmth the material provided to your chilled skin before shooting him a grin

"Thanks, Vince. I owe you one."

Chamber stood idle long after you'd left the room, steam practically rolling off him in waves as the image of you in his clothes burned itself into the back of his skull

Perhaps he would actually be taking a cold shower, instead

[princess-fuckrosa]

Hi. I hope you don't hate sk8 adam. If you one of the unique and awesome people whole love/like Adam can you perhaps wrote a SMUT of him? I'm sad that i can't find and SMUT about him cause everyone hating on him. You can write anything tho i don't have any particular request.

Thank you and sorry for the bad English. English is not my first language

Ahw, don't worry Anon, this blog is a safe place for loving on anyone!

And well, let's be completely honest, everyone who hates on this moron, is actually right about it, the latest episode left me a 3 minute complete silence as I tried to recover from what he did to our dear Cherry.......

But, to be fair, I have a soft spot for all the motherfuckers like Adam, so all of you who love the Matador of Love, don't be afraid to send in your requests, I adore him too! 💖

And don't worry about your English anon, it's perfectly fine! Send me a request anytime I'm open! ❤

*EDIT: Yesterday I forgot to include some stuff, so I added them~

HEAVY smut under the cut, general TW for the innocent vanillas~

Ainosuke Shindo (Adam) SMUT headcanons

We already have some clues about how the Matador of Love would be like in a relationship, and let me tell you, and I don't think it's a surprise but...

It's not nice. At all.

or it depends on what you call nice I think haha

Ainosuke definitely has a big turn on for tears and fear.

He's a sadist, and I don't think he would be completely against being on the other end of the line, but he would be the top dom most of the time.

He's into both physical and mental abuse, but before we completely bookmark him under the 'heartless psycho' category, he won't do anything non-consensual.

I imagine he would search for his 'Eve' in this way too, and if someone wouldn't willingly submit to him, they are just not the right ones.

So unless you let him do whatever he wants, he wouldn't take you seriously. He might have a one night stand, as he does sometimes, but to be his Eve, that's not enough.

He would expect you to be 100% submissive towards him, but only in the bedroom, and not on the casual side. He would love the contrast between the two: you being bold and confident during the day, but a sobbing, needy mess at night - perfect.

Master/Pet play is a big kink for him.

At first, he would give you a taste - he wouldn't be half as rough as he usually is, but would make you cry during the act, just to show off his style a little

"Do you still want to be my pet?", he asked, his index finger lifting up your head to make your teary eyes meet his seemingly empty, red ones. If you managed to whimper out a yes, his fingers would brush your lips as he leans a little closer. "I'm gonna abuse you, y/n."

You saying yes to him again would make his blood boil in excitement again.

He would absolutely cherish the idea of having a s/o as a pet, someone who would adore and worship him, and he could play with them as much as he would like to. Wouldn't go as far as caging (well, if you really insist, he wouldn't be against it either), but would give you a collar with "Adam" written on the tag.

Ainosuke is the kind that would be gentle and caressing at the start, and as the play session goes he would get more rough and vicious.

He does a lot of foreplay. It's mostly anything that implies that he is in control, and usually it starts rather innocently.

He walks over to you, caressing your cheeks with a brief smile, giving you soft kisses on your neck, hands traveling on your body with gentle touches...

...only until you get completely relaxed. He would lean back a little, his fingers tracing your lips, and for the first time in the last few minutes, he would smile at you.

And the fun begins.

You quickly learn that specific smile, the innocent, kind one that only appears on his lips when he came up with something truly dirty and terrific.

Would totally manhandle and take advantage of you. Grabbing you by the hair or your collar to get you to the bedroom, but sometimes when he feels like it, he could be able to just pick you up in bridal style and carry you to his bed - which is gigantic, by the way.

With Ainosuke, expect a lot of messy blowjobs. He would let you start and show your appreciation for the first few minutes. But after that, he would cup your cheeks, tug into your hair and face fuck you with vigorous speed. Plus points if you wear any makeup, he would ruin it, and almost get off only on the sight of seeing you crying off your eyeshadow. It would be hard to stop him after he starts, and wouldn't really care about your discomfort, the only thing he would avoid is making you vomit, he doesn't like that

He would call you the dirtiest, filthiest names ever, but would praise you and call you sweet, loving names just as much, especially during said face fucks.  

He is not THAT into bondage, Ainosuke prefers using his hand and body only to get you under full control, but if he is in the right mood, he would totally tie you up and abuse the hell out of you.

Doesn't matter if you are a female or a male, he would absolutely torture your nipples. Flicking them roughly, pinching them, tugging on them so hard that your back arches, slapping and biting them.

Getting to the main act with Ainosuke takes a long time, he would make sure to make you come one way or another, at least once.

Sometimes, when he is in a more affectionate mood, or you earned a reward, he would overstimulate you until you're so dizzy and disoriented that you don't even remember your own name, because you screamed his name so many times during your climaxes. He would leave you no rest, once you get your first one, he wouldn't stop, aiming for the next one, and the next one, and the next one...

Finally, when he gets between your legs with his crotch, you're so wet or lubricated that it wouldn't be much of a struggle to slam into you without a warning.

Through the whole foreplay, he is just so aloof and cold, or somewhat loving yet collected, but now that he is in you - he would completely switch into an animalistic, rough beast. Grabbing and bending you, completely getting lost in your moans, whimpers, and screams.

Would enjoy a lot of poses, his favorites are mating press, spreader, v, all variations of doggy, and basically everything where he is in full control over you.

But when he gets close, he would prefer to switch into missionary, leaving no space between your bodies, looking into your eyes as he reaches his high.

Depending on his mood, he would be either very affectionate with aftercare, or just completely ignorant of it, leaving you in the room alone as he goes to clean up himself and return to his day.

If there's no risk of knocking you up, he would usually release his seed into you, as a way of marking you as his, but would love to just cum anywhere on your body for the same reason.

That being said, he is not an abusing asshole all the time. From time to time, he would be more gentle, focusing more on holding your body like it was the most precious thing in the world, keeping it close to him, shower it with kisses, lovebites, and loving gropes.

He would sense your mood often, and if you feel down for some reason, he would cuddle you, placing you into his lap and wrapping his arm around you, and he would offer you some distraction from your problems. If you accept it, he would pay attention to your needs. Sure, if you just want his usual self, he will order you around and give you a rough treatment.

But if you need lovemaking, how would the Matador of Love turn you down? It's just something he won't really go for on a regular basis, so savor these moments every time, but don't be afraid to mention it when you need it, he's bossy and narcissistic but up for negotiations.

The latter is rather rare, he would usually just cuddle up with your messy, hot body for a few minutes before helping with the cleaning up.

Either way, sex is hardly ever predictable with him, he would be able to surprise you every time even after a long, long time of being together.

[throwaway-yandere]

(Taps mic) Hello, it's simping for mafia tighnari anon back. I have a confession to make.

Tighnari, sir, I ask this, very politely, for you to step on me--

My jaw literally d r o p p e d the moment I saw Tighnari in a suit because!! Hoh fuck!! Hoh damn!! The things I would let that man to do are too sinful and unholy for anyone's eyes. I just failed my driver's test a few hours ago so was in a bit of a depressed state but this. This watered my crops, cured all diseases and actually got me out of that funky little depressed place. Thank you, thank you so much, genuinely and from the bottom of my heart

Also!!! That header!!!!!! As much as I love Tighnari, I would would absolutely adore it even more to see him face the consquences of his actions so you go Cyno!!! Get the feral fox man who dared to mess with Capo and their family!!!!

(Also if this blog supports kinda named anons, issit okay if I go by 🎐anon? I won't pop up much because of my busy schedule but the moment smth tighnari drops, you can get your ass that I'll be there.)

Of course 🎐 anon!!! (are you also "the down bad for tighnari anon" or is that another guy? Haha) Also dw I also tend to be quite busy lately hahauhuhuhu–

Btw I'm so sorry to hear that, I'm happy that the art comforted you and me and my friend @a-dose-of-phitre hope your day becomes better too!!! I'm sure you'll be able to get your license, have faith!!! You can do it (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ✨!!!

The header's actually part of the chapter 3 banner, I just can't edit the fic yet cuz midterms ((our schedule is very chaotic rn they keep changing the date of exams for some subjects huhu •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀)) but hoo once it's all done I'll get back to this au!!!

[nikikyuuun]

hii welcome new blog!! ☆ i hope you dont mind me requesting mao with a crush hcs? thank you ^^

hello hello!! thank you for the welcome ♡ i'm sorry for the delay haha, i have a habit of not doing asks in order ^^; nevertheless, i do hope you enjoy! 💕

❧ mao with a crush

content warnings: none

❧ ah, he's a bit of a mess. a complete, utter, lovesick mess. to be completely fair, though—mao likely never had much experience in relationships, so it comes as a bit of a given that he'd be fairly nervous! that consideration doesn't help him much, though; he's a little more easily distracted during class, and practice, and student council, and, well—also essentially whenever you'd happen to be in the same room as him.

❧ he seems like the type to ignore his feelings, at first. so what if his chest gets all tight when he hears you laugh at one of your friend's jokes, or that he freezes up when your fingers brush his as you're passing him some papers, or that he zones out a little when you talk to him...

❧ mao always tends to get a little sidetracked when it comes to you, to the point that his unitmates might tease him for it—oh, he froze up again! do you think they're somewhere nearby? it's a little, no, a lot harder to ignore your feelings when you have friends constantly reminding you about them, he's afraid.

❧ despite this, he feels it's somewhat for the best to keep his little crush to himself, at least a little while. maybe it's just infatuation? puppy love? admiration? either way, he doesn't think admitting his feelings is worth possibly losing a friend over—what if you don't feel the same? mao knows you wouldn't be the type to just...cut him from your life if that were to be the case, but the thought still hangs over him, heavy and uncertain.

❧ until he's absolutely sure that you feel the same way—once the little glances you always throw his way stop being coincidence, and the way you walk a little closer to him on the sidewalk isn't because of a fear of getting lost in the crowd—he'll keep his little crush a closely-guarded secret. but, hopefully the wait won't be too long~

[rosemarycupcake42]

Hello hello everyone how are you?

My friends could tell this was coming a mile away-

So I got bored, I was angsty, so we have this beautiful piece of hurt comfort I believe?

Word count: 10k (otherwise known as 8k over the discord character limit)

Warnings: bad grammar, spelling errors, capitalization? Don’t know her, SADNESS, anxiety, talks of Rapunzel being a bitch to Varian

And no, we don’t like Rapunzel on this blog, not one bit

(Before we start, (Y/N) is your name, (N/N) is your nickname, and bold is memory Varian, italics are memory you

Coping Techniques

Varian 🧪 x reader

“Varian can’t calm his anxiety after getting back from getting kicked out of the castle, until he remembers something (Y/N) taught him, so he lets that memory guide him through calming himself.”

He was in pain. No, not physically, although it certainly felt like it, but emotionally. He felt like someone was tearing at his heart from the inside out, and he could do nothing to stop it. It hurt so bad, but he didn’t want to burden anyone else, so he just sat there, hugging himself, digging his nails into his arm, waiting for the pain he knew would never go away to leave him.

Deep down, under all of his blaming and hate towards Rapunzel, he thought it was his fault.

If he had just stopped messing with the rocks like his dad said…

He pulled his head up from between his knees and looked at his father, encased in honey colored amber, lifting his letter to the sky as if some other worldly being would reach down and take it from him.

His eyes tear up again, and he quickly hides his eyes behind his knees.

He doesn't want his father to see him crying, even if he is encased in amber.

He would be ashamed, And Varian can’t handle that thought.

He digs his nails further into his arms, and hisses when he feels them break skin and the blood seeps under his nails.

He vaguely remembers some calming techniques (Y/N) taught him for moments like these, and he struggles to remember one.

There was one that seemed to work well for him before, and so he decided to try that one.

He remembers your voice clearly, guiding him through the steps.

It’s okay Varian, just calm down, and take some deep breaths.

He takes a few calming breaths, following his memory of you.

Now Varian, tell me 5 things you can see in this room.

Don’t worry about what they are, just five things.

Do you want me to go first?

He subconsciously nods, just like he did back then.

He hears you giggle, and for a second, he’s already calm, before he glances at his father.

Well let me see..

I see a.. Current Varian starts counting. 1. Dust bunny in the corner over there.

2. Your spare set of goggles.

3. The book stack on the table.

4. Those vials with that green stuff in them. It's called Chromium (Y/N).. Yeah whatever nerd, let's just keep going!

5. And that plate with a half eaten ham sandwich on it.

Varian can hear the memory of you laugh again.

Wow Varian, i thought you were supposed to love ham sandwiches, you always just gobble them up!

(Y/N) stop it! I just wasn’t hungry.. Okay Grumpy pants, I was just joking with you!

Well.. what comes next? Huh? Oh yeah!

Varian slowly comes back to the real world, wishing you were with him right now to help him again.

He thinks about the other things you told him, and starts from the beginning

“F-five things i can see..” he stammers.

“One, my lamp. Two, that puddle by my table. Three, That beaker of silver. Four, my apron hanging off the hook over the door. Five, the spill of Orthovanadate that I never cleaned up.”

Good job Varian! The next one is four things you can feel around you.

Remind me again what we are doing this for again (Y/N)?

Well it's just in case i’m not there for you and you need to calm down!

You-

You are going to be there for me all the time right?

I’ll do my best darling.

P-Promise?

I can’t promise that Var, but i’ll do my absolute best!

Something really bad would have to happen for me to ever not be with you okay V?

Please don’t say that (N/N), that’s scary…

Sorry Var, but i'll do my best to be there whenever i can for you.

Thanks.

Anything for my little Alchemy boy.

Varian snaps back, flinching.

He chuckled, thinking about how ironic it was that he made you make so many promises back then, and yet the very reason he was remembering this was because of a promise.

Her promise.

His nails dig further into the already bleeding wounds, and he hisses.

He shakes his head rapidly, and begins counting things he can feel.

“O-one, My goggles on my head. Two, the wind blowing through the cracks in the house. Three, The melting snow in my boots and Four…”

He looks around, and hisses when the bruises on his wrists from the castle guards rubbing against the wall next to him.

“And four, these goddamn bruises from Rapunzel’s guards.”

(Y/N)?

Yeah Var?

Uhm..

Can I guess what comes next?

Hey that’s a good idea!

Okay.. so we did 5 things you can see..

4 things you can feel..

So I'm going to guess next is 3 things you can hear?

Haha! You got it right Var!

I knew you were smart, dummy.

HEY-

Where’s your sense of humor darling?

I- i uh-

Under the bed.

Oh really then?

WAIT NO I DIDN’T-

HAHAH!!

Okay okay let's get on with it.

Three things you can hear. It will probably help if you shut your eyes to focus on sounds.

Okay.

Varian laughs, and then takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes.

“One… Chemicals bubbling, Two.. The wind rattling the doors hinges, trying to get in.

Three, Ruddiger pacing the floor.”

At the mention of his name, the raccoon bounds over to Varian, right as he opens his eyes, just in time to see a gray and white furball come tumbling into his arms.

Varian looks down at him, and gently cradles him to his chest.

“Oh Ruddiger, What do I do?” Varian sighs, and then laughs when he thinks about you calling him a “crazy raccoon boy”.

Varian? Are you-

Are you talking to Ruddiger?!

I KNEW IT!

Knew what?

I knew that you locking yourself alone in the basement with only Ruddiger and alchemy to keep you company would drive you crazy, but not THIS crazy!

Oh but (N/N), werent you talking to Ruddiger last night?~

Who- who told you that?

Ruddiger did~

RUDDIGER I THOUGHT WE PROMISED TO KEEP THAT TO OURSELVES-

I’m kidding!

but were you really talking to Ruddiger??

You're more crazy than I am!

Whatever, my Crazy raccoon boy.

(Y/N)!-

Ruddiger looks up at Varian, who has a sad smile, and chitters.

Varian shakes his head, and continues the calming method.

Can the smart boy guess what comes next?

Two things I can taste?

BZZZRT- WRONG!

Two things you can smell, then..

One thing I can taste?

Correct!

He takes a deep breath, and sniffs the air.

“One, I can smell chemicals, specifically sulfur, and Two, I can smell the- the blood from my nail marks.” Varian can feel himself getting dizzy at the smell of the last one, but he smacks himself and tries to avoid looking at his arms.

One more Var, okay? Try to remember all these, you never know when you might need them!

Can we go outside after this?

(He can remember you gasping at his comment) Why Varian? Did YOU just suggest going OUTSIDE?

Who are you, and what did you do to Varian?

I-ITS NOTHING!

I just figured you'd like to go outside instead of stay cooped up in here with me all the time…

Aww, how sweet Varian, but if you aren't comfortable going outside with me, I'll gladly stay here with you!

He smiles at your past consideration, and concentrates.

“One thing i can taste..” His eyes fly open.

“Ham Sandwiches!”

He takes a deep breath, and it's finally done.

He silently thanks you for the method, and thanks the gods that it worked.

Now that he thinks about it, he hadn't heard from you since the blizzard..

He really hoped you were okay..

He knows the blizzard is really bad, he did come back from asking Rapunzel for help…

Rapunzel…

She refused to help..

It’s her fault!

He shakes his head, knowing (Y/N) would hate to hear him thinking like that.

Speaking of (Y/N)..

His head jerks up when he hears the door upstairs open and wind blowing heavily.

He listens closely, and he can hear you calling his name while you struggle to get the door closed.

He jumps up and runs up the stairs, practically dropping Ruddiger and face planting.

He looks up from the floor, and gasps.

There you are, decked out in heavy insulated fur coats, there was snow all over you, he could barely even see the beautiful color of your hair.

Your lips were turning blue-

He shakes his head, banging it on the floor a couple times, why was he even looking at your lips?!

You looked down, and gasped as well.

“Varian? Why are you on the floor dear?” He sighs happily when he hears your voice, and opens his mouth to answer.

“You know what, don't answer that, come on, i'll help you up.” You walk over to him, gently grabbing his arms, and he hisses when you grab right where the nail marks are, and your hands brush the bruises on his wrist.

You set him gently in front of the fireplace, and grab his arms.

“Did you cut yourself with your nails again? I told you that you need to cut them..” you sigh, going to grab the things you need to clean his wounds and help with the bruising.

“How did you get these bruises?!” you ask, gently holding his wrists.

He responds, “Well I tried to get help from Rapunzel about my dad, but she wouldn't listen, and the guards dragged me away. By the way, (Y/N), thank you for that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method.” He weakly smiles, hoping that would calm you down, being able to see you get visibly angry the more he said about Rapunzel and her guards.

You sigh heavily, telling yourself Varian needed you more than you needed to beat up those guards. “I'm glad it helped dear.”

You bandaged his little crescent shaped wounds, and gently grabbed his wrist.

He looks at you in confusion, and you falter, before going along with your plan, and pull his wrists to your lips, and give them a gentle kiss.

You give him a closed eyes smile and respond to his surprised look, “Doesn't everyone say a kiss makes things better?”

He blushes, and pulls you into him, both of you tumbling to the floor before stopping.

You snuggle into his chest, mumbling something.

He looks down, still blushing. “What was that (N/N)?”

You back your head enough to speak cleary, and repeat yourself. “I need to beat up those gaurds later.”

He snickers, nodding, and wraps his arms tighter around you, ignoring his embarrassment, and more importantly, ignoring his pain.

You also wrap your arms around Varian, and after a couple minutes, he’s snoring.

You look at him, and run your fingers through his hair.

“Ill always be there for you Varian, Rapunzel be damned.” you nod off, both of you calmly sleeping, and dreaming of ways to save his father, his dreams much more sinister than yours, but both never once leaving each other sides.