#this blog has turned i to incoherent rambling that only makes sense if youre in my head

[grxtsch]

thunderstorms.

i love them.

[do-y0u-have-to-let-it-linger]

hi!!! can i get an x-men shift please? i’m bi (but hetero leaning) and use she/her pronouns. i’m a sagittarius, INTP, and am super into pop culture, movies tv shows music stuff like that. i’m an introvert, pretty shy at first but once you get to know me i’m pretty funny and kinda an asshole. i’m 5’7”, plus size and curvy, with longish wavy brown hair, blue eyes, and wear black glasses. i dress pretty comfy, jeans and t-shirts, sweatshirts, but i also have a leather jacket when i want to look more put together. mostly wear vans and converse. i love taylor swift, star wars, and all the superhero movies out there. i honestly don’t know what my mutation would be, i’ve never found one that fits right i guess. can’t wait to see who i’m paired with! love your blog, and thank you :)

I ship you with Peter Maximoff!

Warning: ✨contains swear words, mentions of being high, and grammatical errors probably✨

Peter is the type of person who thinks of bold and outrageous plans, but is horrible at executing them.

This is especially apparent now that he is part of the X-Men, because of the high stakes that often come hand and hand with these plans.

Yet at this moment, standing in front of you, attempting to respond to your simple and reasonable question, he feels as though the stakes of this plan are higher than any other he has previously made.

You and Peter were very close, most of you X-Men were. Shared trauma bonded you all like a family. So you were very comfortable around each other, like the: "We literally laugh at each other's farts and say 'love ya!' When one of us leaves a room." comfortable, so it concerned you that he seemed so nervous. You repeated your, as previously stated, simple and reasonable question.

"Peter, what the fuck."

You were mid-way through Empire Strikes Back when he first appeared, standing in front of the TV. Generally, when someone is watching a movie alone with the volume level barely audible, at 2 AM in the morning, they do not expect to be interrupted, but there he was. Interrupting you.

So you had asked him if he wanted to watch the movie with you and he said no.

Then you asked him if something was wrong and he said no.

But after he had stood in front of the television long enough for you to have paused the movie, you had come to the conclusion that he was messing with you. Hence the two "what the fuck"s.

He finally responded, seemly returning to his body after his brain's small vacation to who knows where.

"I need to talk to you about something important, and I wanted it to go a certain way but that way never actually happens so I'm doing it another way." Well, that was even more incoherent than his usual sentences.

"Wait- are you high again?"

"No! No. Well, maybe a little- but that's not the point."

"Sure, now what's going on."

"We're like... technically co-workers because of us being X-Men and shit, right?"

"If Bat-Man and Robin are co-workers, then yes."

"Don't be self-deprecating, you're way cooler than a silly side-kick."

You raised your eyebrows at him, "I wasn't Robin in that analogy, but thank you."

"Wait, I'm Robin?"

"You are a grown man who just used the world silly un-ironically, and I feel like that's something Robin would do. Just to clarify I don't know shit about Bat-man."

"Hey I'm barely a grown man- I'm not 25 yet, that would entail being a grown man, and I've got time 'till then! Anyway, stop going off-topic."

"Then move on from being weirdly defensive about being an adult in the eyes of the state."

"Touché. So, we're co-workers."

"Correct. What's the point."

"That's a problem."

"Why?"

"Well, ok this needs to be prefaced so consider this me shushing you in a respectful and not sexist way. You have been shushed."

"...Ok?"

"Shh! Now I get to ramble. So you know movies?" He gestured towards the school's collection of movies that sat next to the tv, and you nodded confused. "So in these movies, things happen certain ways, but those certain ways seem just as scary as the opposite of those ways." Yeah, he was totally high. "So, wow I'm starting so many sentences with the word 'so'. Anyway- I want to tell you something but I don't want it to be like a movie but I don't want it to be like not in a movie either. So I just want to say it then leave. Like- I'm going to run after I say it. Is that okay? You are temporarily un-shushed."

"If you're dying it's not, but if it's basically anything else then yeah. Go for it, you speedy coward."

"Cool. I mean- the nickname hurt but cool. Cool." He looked at you for a second. "Can you like... turn around?"

"Turn around?"

He now acknowledged that that was an odd thing to ask. "...Yeah. Is that dumb?"

"No, no, I'll turn around." To lighten the awkward mood, you made a joke. "A reasonable price for your terrible secrets to be revealed to me." It was not a very funny joke, but you tried your best and earned a (pity) scoff from him.

You were now both sitting criscrossed on the couch, facing the same direction. You were staring at a wall you found very uninteresting, and he was staring at the back of the head belonging to a person he found very interesting.

"So- basically I think you're... pretty..." He said the word intending to add another adjective after it, like 'cool', but he decided against it because that would be stupid. "And I have this problem where when I figure out I want to, quote-unquote, date someone, which is a gross word, by the way, I'm always friends with them. That means it has to be this dramatic thing. But I don't want it to be! You know? I just want to tell you that I have a stupid crush on you like a normal person. And- that's why I suddenly started hating training, because who likes to see people they want to smooch almost fake die, huh? No one! That's who! And I want to explain why I like you, but whenever I talk to Wanda about you, I always end up describing you the way a first grader describes their crush! Like: she's pwetty and smawt or whatever but that's fuckin' dumb. I guess that makes sense because I don't have crushes on people ever, and I barely dated in school, so I have no idea how to do this and I just want to pass you one of those 'hey, do you like me?!' notes with the fuckin' checkmarks!! And I am an adult person who is kind of afraid of kissing! What?!? Also, I don't have abs like Scott! Or boobs, and I know you like people with or without boobs and boobs are great! Also, to backtrack, don't think that I think you would go for Scott, even though if you were to, I would be supportive of you, but also sad because I would prefer if you went for me! So I want to be normal. Normal like the people in movies who meet someone cute and ask them out and not like the movies with the big stupid confessions. Trust me, if I had noticed that I whatever you like a year ago, I would have asked you out! Well no I wouldn't of because I would be too afraid to talk to you. But anyway I made you this," He reached around you and handed you a folded-up note. "Don't open it until I run away, but just leave it here with your response. If you check no, I bet if we paid Jean enough money she would erase this interaction from our brains. I only have seven dollars but I'm betting on a 'friends and family' discount. But.. if you say yes, I can ask you out like a dick in a movie, knowing you'll say yes because I am a speedy coward. I want you to call me a speedy coward when I do cowardly shit speedily, then do this cute thing where you'd be like 'but you're my speedy coward''. Anyway, I'm going to leave now. Love ya, but in the way we always said it beforehand, not in a dramatic confession way. Sorry I delved into my childhood there. Bye." You felt him awkwardly pat your back.

There was a gust of wind that ruffled your hair, and you knew he had run away.

You lifted the note up, mind empty, still processing everything he had rambled to you, and started carefully unfolding it.

It was one of his previously mentioned "Do you like me?" notes.

You willed yourself not to straight-up giggle like a 12-year-old at his note. It was messily written, and clearly on the back of a mission briefing.

Shit, you didn't have a pen. You looked under the couch cushions but there was no form of a writing utensil in sight! The audacity.

You knew Peter well enough to know that he was probably not too far away, waiting for the result of his question and trying not to spy.

"Hey... uh... Peter? I don't have a pen."

Peter hit his forehead with his hand, where the fuck was he going to get a pen? It's not like he owned pens that were actually in a designated spot! How ridiculous would that be, who did he look like, Charles? Charles! Charles has pens in designated pen places!

So Peter ran into the headmaster's office and found a pen. He wrote a small note stating that he borrowed a pen and that he would return it. Looking at the note Peter found it did not fully encapsulate the desperate need for the pen. The note ended up something like this:

Hey Charles! It's Peter! I took borrowed a pen because a very serious situation manner situation has arised. arisen. From, Peter. You can't get mad at me because if you could legally marry my dad you would be married and I would basically be your step son! Thanks half dad!

He thought the addition of the 'step' in stepson effectively hid the fact that Charles was a father figure of his. What was he doing here again? The serious manner!

In an instant of you telling Peter that you did not have a pen, one appeared.

"Thank you!"

You checked the yes box, but had a want to write something adorable. You couldn't think of anything so you just wrote "This was weird." under your checkmark. Well played.

You entertained the idea of resuming your movie but decided against it, you thought it would be more dramatic if you left the room.

The minute you made your exit Peter sprinted into the room. He opened your note, jumped, pumped his fist in the air, realized that was nerdy, and tried to make a cool pose to recover.

Now he just had to figure out how the fuck he was going to ask you out.

[neighbours-kid]

Twelve's March

March was….a chaotic cluster-fuck of something that felt like two weeks tops. March went by fast. And also—wasn’t it just the beginning of the year? Wasn’t it just Christmas? Where’s all this time going?

Anyway, March was really weird. Full month of university, relatively full weekends I think, it just all felt weird and fast and I don’t even know what exactly I did all month. Well, except watch TV shows. Well, I say TV shows…I mean Doctor Who. And with that, I mean Matt’s arc with Clara, and all of Peter’s arc. Which you already know because I wrote a massive blog post about it, yelling incoherently about all sorts of things and not remotely making sense, I feel.

March was definitely a month defined by Doctor Who and specifically Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor, who I have come to love so much, I still don’t know how to wrap my head around it. I think I’m just gonna have to buy all the DVDs finally and just—watch it again. Because I have emotions and thoughts and ideas and these little bits of je ne sais quoi about so many things in relation to Peter’s wonderful wonderful performance. But I don’t want to spend too much time rambling on about him (again) and waste your time with that.

As I said, March was a full month of university. And honestly, it has sort of started to overwhelm me right now. With me being me and having extended one paper deadline to the end of February, and also fucking up one exam of the last term and having to retake that, I completely fell behind on all my actual work that I had to do for this term. There’s one class that I can’t attend but have to take, so I’m working through a book by myself, there’s another book for another course that I ordered way too late, and there’s so much reading that I should be doing and am not actually doing. So I’m totally behind on all things and I often find myself with books open and texts on my kitchen table, throwing highlighters around and post-it’s, trying to get it together, and just ultimately making more of a mess.

I am very glad Easter holidays are coming up soon so I have time to catch up with that (of course only if I don’t have to work during that week, which somehow might actually happen).

I also started a new minor this term—theology—(and finally finished art history—never have to do art history ever again!!!!), so that is also a bit of a challenge, though I do feel a lot better about it than I did about art history. It’s really interesting and I’m learning a lot of cool stuff, and I’m actually pretty good at being present in class and taking notes, so at least there’s that. Funny thing is: my theology courses are incredibly affirming of my gender identity and my plans for the future, and a lot of the things I learn support my own views, which is really great.

Another thing that’s really cool this term, is that I’m trying to hang out in our English department’s tea corner more often, eating lunch there (now that I actually have time to eat lunch on some days), and just trying to socialise more with people. And it’s great! I’m having a lot of lovely conversations with a lot of lovely people, and I think it’s really good for me to do that and just to try and be more open.

And honestly, I really like being at university currently? I have a cool group of friends, I’m having a really great time and learning a lot of cool and interesting things (mostly. There’s some rubbish introduction courses that I have to take now). But my problem is, that as soon as I sit in my tram home, as soon as I enter my apartment, I am just flat out exhausted. I am so done. Which is also why I rarely actually get any work done at home currently, because all I really do is maybe eat something small and then fall into bed to maybe watch an episode or two of something and then go to sleep.

On that note: Daylight savings time was just last weekend here, and it completely fucked over my internal clock. Like, the day before that, I went to bed at like 1.30AM because I was reading fanfiction (later more on that), and got up very easily the next day even before 10AM. Daylight savings? I went to bed, I think, only a bit after 11PM and had to get up at 7.30AM, and I was absolutely knackered. I immediately dozed off again as soon as I turned off the alarm and it nearly cost me my entire day because I had to catch a train. And it’s still not back to normal, I still have issues every morning getting up. I hope it gets better soon, once I have a day to just sleep in without an alarm and get up whenever I actually wake up. I have hope that this is gonna work.

But now: fanfiction! I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this on here before, but I was big on fanfiction a few years back, mostly in my BBC Sherlock time. And before that too, I think, way back when I first started really getting into Naruto in a more intellectual way than just watching it on TV. But that was when I was like….in sixth grade, or something like that. But I was huge on fanfiction for a long time, and I think together with falling off of the Sherlock train after that last season, I also stopped really engaging with that part of fandom. But now, thanks to my binging of Doctor Who I have absolutely fallen down that rabbit hole again. It’s just such a great thing, isn’t it? People creating massive, massive amounts of, essentially free work. Just to express this joy and this love for a thing and to share it with others. It’s amazing.

(Short side-note here: Did you know, Archive of Our Own, one of the biggest fanfiction sites, was nominated for a fucking Hugo Award? In its entirety? Making, effectively, over 4.5 MILLION pieces of fanfiction Hugo Award-nominated literature, and, with over 1.8 MILLION users, making many of those Hugo Award-nominated authors? It’s fucking brilliant. What a time to be alive!)

What else did I do in March? I’m sort of blanking, because this month went by so fast. Lemme think….

I went to see Captain Marvel opening night (which was, officially, Men’s Night, which we crashed, because we wouldn’t usually support such sexist events, but it was Captain Marvel), and then again a bit later one more time, and it was great, just really fantastic. Carol is right up there as one of faves now. Also, Jude Law was hot.

On that film note, I obviously watched some stuff this month again and tried to make notes of it. Six movies (well five, but one twice), 64 episodes of TV (50 of which being Doctor Who), and a bunch of shorts starring David Tennant. Aside from Captain Marvel I think the movies I liked best this month were Bad Samaritan (2018) and Fright Night (2011), both also starring David Tennant, which is why I watched them. Fright Night was great fun, Colin Farrell was a fantastic, sexy vampire, and David’s vampire hunter/Las Vegas magician act was just hilarious. I love how much of a coward he was, ultimately. What a fantastic vampire movie, really funny. Also, Anton Yelchin was in it, and I just realised how much I miss him and what a shame it is that he died so young. He was a great kid and a fantastic actor.

Bad Samaritan was also really cool. I had wanted to watch it for a while, since it came out actually, because David was in it, and because Dean Devlin directed and produced it, and I really adore his work (Leverage and The Librarians, anyone?) I was always a bit hesitant though, because I’m not very big on films that are too horror-y and gory, so I always pushed it off. But I’m very glad I finally saw it, because it was truly more of a thriller and not a horror movie. Fantastic story, the acting was brilliant (DT as a villain? Come on! So good.), the tension and suspense was absolutely incredible. Really a great movie, you should all watch it.

I’m sure there’s other things that I did in March that would be worthwhile to mention (was at my dad’s, visited my mom, went shopping with a friend), but I’m really sort of hazy about all the details and I honestly can’t be bothered to write more right now.

Anyway, I’m having a bit of a break soon—going to Lugano for four days with a friend—so I can hopefully relax a little and recharge my batteries for April.

Talk to you guys soon! Bye.

[spuriusbrocoli]

I'm not straight at all and I don't get most of your posts about being LGBT vs. being straight?

So I presume you’re talking about this post that I made as well as… another one. Which I’ll talk about later.

Basically, this post is about how I have an irrational association between my experiences as a queer person (nonbinary mlm is a pretty accurate label, I think) and my experience raising my pets. And I know that this association between my queerness and my pets is entirely imagined; I draw attention to the fact that it wasn’t logical in the post.

(bolding edited in here)

I can’t imagine how heterosexuals do pet-rearing.

Like, I got my first cat at the same time as I did my first live-in boyfriend, and then we got my first dog where we were the primary caregivers to the dog as opposed to our parents.

As a result, the emotions of my overwhelming queerness and the emotions associated with raising my sons (i.e., the cat and dog) are probably more intertwined than is logical. And when I see cishets with pets I’m just like “¿¿¿¿¿¿¿???????? the straights aren’t allowed to do that”.

The point of this post is “Hey, I have this weird association that doesn’t make any sense! Isn’t that funny?” I know straight people can have pets; I was in fact raised by two straight people with pets. That’s part of the joke (that straight people can have pets, not that my parents in specific did). The punchline is supposed to be me and the inherent absurdity of my reaction to seeing straight people with pets, because, again, straight people can and do raise pets and everyone knows this including myself which is the entire joke.

Like, I did actively call attention to that fact in the post. I’m kind of at a loss as to how to make my posts more unambiguously facetious. Maybe I could tag it as “#jowak” to let audiences know that I’m kidding, but I tagged The One Post as “#rant”, and it didn’t do shit, so idk.

But anyway, let’s talk about The One Post, shall we?

On the third-and-twentieth of April, two-thousands-and-eighteen anno domini, according to Tumblr, I made a post that got… some attention.

Rather a lot of attention, actually.

My do these folks know how to make a girl blush.

Just so many lovely characters here…

And that’s without the reblogs (mostly more of the same, but editing out the usernames and profiles is a pain, so I’m not gonna bother).

Sot tldr: it got attention. Almost 5k notes’ worth of attention in fact. Yay me.

Now I will openly admit that the original is an incoherent rant. It’s all over the place, and if people missed the point, I’d understand. I considered addressing some of the legitimate points, but until now they had been too buried in the crap for me to really bother (though I will address some of the less-shitty vitriol here).

But enough talking about The One Post, let’s just read the whole unedited thing, shall we?

a straight girl will date anything vaguely male-shaped so long as its as cis and het as she is. istfg you could line up the handsomest butches who could eat her pussy for days or the most genteel bi boys who could top her from wall to wall of her tacky apartment, and she’ll still choose her broke, ugly trogolodyte boyfriend who thinks staring at her tits is foreplay and humping vaguely in her direction will get her to cum bc gay men are meant only to compliment her tasteless dress over brunch and lesbians are gross.

(whole thing can be found here as well)

So this post was actually inspired by two very specific neighbors. They had two dogs–Pluto and Coppernicus, whom my puppy was not allowed to socialize with. The two of them were actually kind of infamously unfriendly with everyone in the building, tbth. That’s neither here nor there, but it’s some context.

Anyway, I see this miserable woman while we’re both going in and out of the laundry room. She’s, like, decent-looking, but my type for women tends to err between butch and futch. And her husband/fiance/boyfriend/partner/whatever is real ugly. Like, a potential project for Queer Eye type: utter lack for clothing or basic skincare. Except he’s also an ass.

So I made a post that was mostly about how straight boys are ugly. And straight boys are kind of ugly. Bc we as a society code that sort of basic self-care as queer/feminine, which is the fault of no individual straight boy–and certainly not the fault of this one dude.

But as I was making the post, it kind of occurred to me that many straight women are not only complicit in this system, but they actively encourage it. Straight women do avoid men attracted to women–even straight men–if they seem “too effeminate”. So I went back and edited the post to be inclusive of queer men attracted to women.

Then it kind of occurred to me that attraction isn’t really perfectly binary to begin with and that we as humans are primarily attracted to features like how our potential partners conduct themselves and not really to abstract labels like “man” or “woman”. This isn’t to say that people aren’t attracted to people with any given label (there’s a big difference between men attracted to feminine women and men attracted to feminine men, for instance), but they aren’t coherent classes. And straight women are getting wise to this; look at this comic routine about a straight woman’s first time at a gay bar (yeah, it’s hardly scientific evidence, but this isn’t my fucking thesis). Hence why I went back again and edited in the butch comment.

So yeah, the result was an incoherent mess. And I can sort of understand how someone could read this post and think I was equating butches with straight men, which I do not want to do. Women, no matter how masculine, have a fundamentally less privileged position than men, and gnc women experience the intersectional oppressions of patriarchy and gender conformity. And if this all-over-the-place rant seems to be equivocating between cis and trans people’s experiences or men and butches’ to you, I get that. My wording was bad, and I should’ve done a reread. I’m sorry for that.

What I wasn’t expecting and am definitely not apologizing for is the influx of hatemail from straight people calling me a lesbian incel. And I know that it’s coming from straight people bc wlw would never call another wlw an incel bc the incel subculture is distinctly one rooted in the experiences of male entitlement to women’s bodies. And bc wlw are objectified like all women, they understand that the experiences of an entitled straight man are not equivalent to wlw who can’t find a partner bc of systemic issues that affect all women and especially sapphic women. (Or I hope that wlw have that level of understanding at least.) Or like, just listen to the original, mournful “Slow Dance” compared to the quietly negging “White Blank Page” or “Treat You Better”. (No shade against Mumford and Sons, but both of these examples show how jealous straight men tend to turn their lack of unrequited love at either the other man or at the object of his affection; Babeo Baggins is just sad.)

So given that I am (i) assigned male and male-aligned, (ii) attracted primarily to men, and (iii) in a happy relationship with a nonbinary person with a penis; the hatemail is rather ridiculous.

And that’s exactly what it is: hatemail. Reread through that shit, and it’s just utterly vitriolic. And I’m not gonna say my post wasn’t vitriolic in turn; it definitely was. But my faggot exasperation with straight dudes is not equivalent to the degree to which people on this site harass lesbians. And even if I were a lesbian who couldn’t get with a girl bc she had some ugly-ass boyfriend, that’s still no excuse to turn her personal, rambly post into a nearly 5,000 note meme.

So tldr: Leave lesbians tf alone.

Now to loop back to your original statement, dear Nonnie (I know it has a question-mark, but I read that as upspeak in this context and not a true question):

I’m not straight at all and I don’t get most of your posts about being LGBT vs. being straight?

Well, I’m a queer talking about my queer-ass experiences and my queer-ass thoughts. If your not-straight self relates to that, well great. If you don’t, that’s kind of not my problem. My blog isn’t a resource of any sort, and I wouldn’t claim otherwise; even my linguistics tag is mostly my opinions (though my opinions on linguistics are gonna be way-the-hell better-informed than a non-linguist’s, just sayin’).

So frankly, unfollow. Or don’t. I kind of don’t care. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[evergloffpress]

Bottle of Blog no. 47

Streams of Conscious Meditation and Other Attempts at Sanity

Not that my absurdly delayed review of the Star Wars movies are being posted as quick as new year resolutions are being broken but I am taking a short break from them in lieu of this interlude about the simmering panic bombs that lurk within.

On a personal note this is my first blog of the new year and my first vlog in a while. Originally I had hoped to have cranked out these entries with a little more frequency which is also part of the problem.

It also doesn't help that I have a slight cold to contend with. Hence I do not expect my blog this time around to of Pulitzer Prize material. Not that I thought it was before. Ultimately, this is all to continue to sharpen my writing skills. I do believe that I am rusty at this.

In a blog entry, I had written in the summer of 2019 I detailed how an acquittance of mine kept interrupting me when I told him that a cousin of mine had fallen ill while in Vegas. I told him he had passed in order to get him to shut the hell up. Which of course he did. At the time the gambit was, in fact, a fabrication of like. Sadly on Christmas eve of this past year to finally came to be. Later on, I was informed that another person I had known had committed suicide. After a long battle with depression and drug abuse. Further details as to how he did himself in were not available at the time. Come to think about it I don't think have a narrative in mind tonight. No writing structure or concrete idea I am trying to get out. I am just letting to all pour out. Letting it all hang out. Some stress has been thrust upon me and other stress I have hurled upon my self. A time limit has been set to deliver goods and services. A fund must be in place to attain certain promises. My curse of procrastination has once again taken it's hold on me. It's not making sense I feel. Now I know I am rambling. Not thinking clearly for one doesn't help for two, I don't feel committed to the premise of this blog. I've written other blogs where I thoroughly enjoyed writing to and loved where it was going. Here however it seems I am just hitting keys hoping to be struck with a eureka moment and redeem this entry. Getting my writing legs again. We will leave it at that. Besides as I stated earlier I don't have a reL idea to run with. I thought about writing about how stress can be overwhelming but I am not. As I slept it felt it was but when I awoke my got my bearings. I thought of so much that I need to do and now I am always putting it off. It's been 20 years since the year 2000. I thought I'd be living in a much different world than I am now. Friends have either gone on different paths or have changed completely. Loved ones passing away. Life changes that is it's one constant. The one thing that never changes is that everything changes. This is good for the mind to let it all spill out. It can not be good to keep it all bottled up. Uncertainty is another constant. No risk no reward. I have to venture forth in order to gain something. So many promises to others and to my self that I need to fulfill. I must be he whom I have always felt I was. To thine own self be true at the very least. I now feel this is a re-run of sorts. I've written this before. I do not like to repeat myself. I hate when I.edians and politicians do not. As of repeating what was sId will be funnier or more poignant when said multiple times. I want so much for myself and others and will have my self if I don't keep my promises. I've spent years procrastinating. I offer without having the means in hand. A fault that can turn people away from you. So perhaps this is where the stress I had previously mentioned lays. Promises made and not kept. Wishes and desires not made real. Not just for me but for others. I lightly touched upon this elsewhere. Specifically my private journal. Keep thine promises to your self and to others and feel great about my self and be seen as a person of value and conviction. Those texts sent to me late last year accusing me of less than stellar character wounded be because I found them to be true. The noble nature I thought of me was cut short by a person whose opinion I valued. This I lost a former friend who I wanted to get reacquainted with. That also stung. Along with being thought of as less than becoming. The battery is dying. I know my flaws and they do not make me a villain not the hero of my own story less anyone else’s. I need to become that hero first for my sake and only then can I be the hero others need me to be. Rambling and incoherent here and there bit I think I managed to tie it all together in the end or at least I think I did. Either way, not too bad for a bit of stream of conscious prose if I humbly do say so myself.

Oliver Evergloff January - 7 - 2019

[getoffthesoapbox]

VK Science II - Odds & Ends

So I thought about it, but I hope my straightforward answers don’t come across as condescending! Aside from being blunt, I try not to write too much, but I guess it’s not a problem now? ’(^_^) In any case, before I get to the next theory I want to respond to some of your points :)

Your answers didn’t come off as condescending at all, don’t worry! You just seemed like a typical science-oriented person wanting to make sure everything was accurate before proceeding, which I completely respect.  (I have a thick skin anyway, and I’m fairly blunt myself though without as lofty a reason, fufu. ;D) But yes, feel free to write to your heart’s content, as long posts are a speciality of my blog anyway!

Pureblood Pregnancy: The reason why I can’t answer this is because Hino has full creative freedom to create whatever duration of pregnancy she would like for humans birthing Purebloods :/ Would you expect it to be longer? Probably. Honestly, though, I already don’t agree with her concept of Purebloods having a range of duration of pregnancy rather than a set time as most other organisms do (O_o)

Teething: This could be another reason why the Purebloods were scattered as I would think that this process would terrify their parents and even lead some to, sadly, label their children as “monsters,” abandon them, and leave them for death.

Well, of course Hino can do whatever she wants with the narrative elements; she could go off the rails (and has) if she wants and we’d be stuck having to try to pretend it makes sense. I honestly found her making the pregnancies 2-4 years to be just a ridiculous method to excuse Yuuki’s teen pregnancy and allow her to give birth in her twenties. I don’t think when Hino originally came up with VK that she ever intended the pregnancies to last longer than the human terms–it’s just that Hino needed to make the accident pregancy “acceptable” to shoujo audiences. This is just my personal theory, but for the sake of the story I’d say that the reason Pureblood pregnancies last longer is probably due to maladapted hormones of some kind that require the fetus to gestate longer in order to fully develop. Originally, before the Kaname magic pregnancy, Hino made it clear in arc 2 that Purebloods had a difficult time conceiving (hence why Haruka and Juri only had two kids despite living 3K+ years, and why the Pureblood numbers were shrinking despite them being immortal). That’s just my current thought from where we are, fufu. Really, though, I think it was just Hino trying to make Yuuki’s unacceptable teen pregnancy more palatable. =P

The Vmpr gene: In regards to your question… I’m not exactly sure since we’re not shown any examples. Not just that, but I intend to view human-turned-vampires (I always wonder if I word this write .-.) from a disease perspective. Based on my theory… I guess they would always code for humans since it’s a disease acquired later in life. In Zero’s case, I want to say that they would be human since the majority of Zero’s genes code for human and, again, I do not view the Level D’s as carrying the Vmpr gene, but… Well, maybe my next theory will help ’(^_^)

My thought was in line with yours that Zero (and any other Level Ds/Es) would code for human if paired with a human partner. Yuuki’s Pureblood would obviously be dominant, which would probably place Ren as a Level C or perhaps a Noble at best. 

Charisma: OHHH (O_O) Yeah, I just viewed those scenes as “hypnotism” rather than “charisma.” I see people’s willingness to listen to and follow Kaname as a result of charisma rather than Rido manipulating (hypnotizing) Aidou - they’re two completely different cases. As far as Yuuki’s charisma, I saw it as how she was primarily raised human and wasn’t sure how to act as a Pureblood princess (an authoritative position), so she lacked the same noble nature Kaname and even Sara exude that would attract others. In short, I think it comes down to how you define “charisma” in VK XD

Well Hino’s notorious for not directly explaining things and leaving things up for interpretation, but she makes a point of having the nobles fawn over Kaname in the first arc that he doesn’t use his charisma against the other vampires, implying that it’s an actual ability (if I remember right; it’s been a while since I’ve revisited arc 1). This would of course imply that his personal magnetism could be amplified to control his fellows (which he actually does when he murders the council). But this is assuming of course that charisma isn’t a social construct that the nobles have imagined due to their historical worship of the Purebloods. If it’s actually just in the nobles’ heads, then we’re just working with natural charm and Rido’s and Sara’s abilities are separate from the charisma. Either way, you’re spot on about Yuuki I think. Either she’s just deficient in charisma because she was turned back into Pureblood later in life, or because the Nobles saw her as human first, they can’t go into worship mode for her. Same results either way I suppose. XD

Mixed Children: …This is a weird title for this point considering how I am mixed LOL XD Technically, I can’t answer this, which goes back to why I was salty (=__=) In any case, I don’t think they would birth humans because vampirism is dominant. Due to the percentage of vampiric genes a Pureblood would be bringing in, it’s unlikely they would have a human child. The only evidence that kind of supports this is that it is implied (to my knowledge, at least) that the rise of the Aristocrats came from the Progenitors mixing with humans, which would follow the Night class’s explanation of the higher levels of “human blood” aka DNA as you go down the hierarchy…

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better simple paraphrase to cover all the potential pairings. XD Hope I didn’t offend, lol. But okay, that makes sense that the vampiric gene would be dominant, so you wouldn’t have any human children cropping up unexpectedly (unless I guess there was another environmental shift that reversed things). 

NaCl: (  O_o) Ah… But are there Purebloods that have some human blood? Is that why the Kurans are powerful? …Because they have none? Wait… What? UGH that changes everything! This is why I gave up on figuring out the inheritance of genes! X( And in the first place, WHY would the Kurans be the only ones? Huh? Huh?! Did everyone else just “conveniently” die? And I’m not supposed to side-eye that? Yeah, ok, I see you Hino (  T_T) *diffuses in high concentrations of Na+*

Haha, oh no, I don’t think I meant to imply that Purebloods have any human blood, only to question whether or not it was possible for them to birth a human child if the recessive traits lined up right I think? Obviously they’d have no human blood in them as they’d be the purest expression of the vmpr gene, right? Sorry, I got wound up with speculating what the story would be like if two Purebloods accidentally had a recessive human child or if there was a character who was a more human expressing Pureblood/Noble (such as, say, a Noble who had all the traits except no powers manifest, or a Pureblood who had bloodlust but no fangs, or short lived Purebloods, etc.). That was more speculation about where Hino could have taken the story. ;D (See, and here’s where my narrative theory tangenting comes into play, so just smack me when I go overboard, fufu.) But no, I think your theories are right on and it’s not an inconsistency on Hino’s part; it was just me rambling incoherently. XD No need for you to become a pillar of salt over it, methinks. =P

Zero: I’m getting ready to review my theory before sending it in a little bit. Before that, since you’re curious about Zero and I’m sure a lot of your followers are, could you emphasize some special traits of his that are mentioned in the story, so I don’t miss any? I’m not sure I’ll be able to cover them since his hunter genes will play a factor. If I can, I might make it a separate submission. I want to point out that I know that you’ll probably point out Zero delaying his fall to bloodlust and descent to vampirism, but I intend to cover this for Level D vampires in general.

Oh sure! The big one of course is that he overcame the twin curse in the womb, allowing his twin to be born rather than devoured (as vampiric twins are and as hunter twins are due to the vampiric genes they carry). The second unique one is that he can overcome the Master/Servant bond (where a Master can hijack and control his actions). The third, and this is only sort of implied by Takuma during the last battle with Sara, is that he seems to have a sort of weird “Pureblood charisma” effect–where he’s basically to the Purebloods what they are to the Nobles. For some inexplicable reason, they’re all drawn to him/entranced by him despite him being about as low class a vampire as you can get. It’s implied that this is all due to his ability to overcome the Master/Servant bond, but if that was all there was, only Shizuka should be interested in him because she’s his Master. 

As for Zero delaying his bloodlust and his fall, I never saw that as particularly unique to him as Zero (but of course we never got to see a normal person get turned and fall, so we have no idea how long the process usually takes). But given how chill Kaien was about it, and that both Kaien and Kaname seemed to expect “when” it would happen, the process Zero went through in this just seemed to be normal Level D experience in my estimation. Happy to hear your thoughts on this of course, but I myself never saw this as part of Zero’s special characteristics. 

Hunters: I know I said I wasn’t going to address this point, but I did look up some things regarding the hunters. Since the first hunters drank the Hooded Woman’s blood, they didn’t just consume her red blood cells, which contain no DNA, but her white blood cells, which do… Although, someone can double check me on that since I had to look that up. As for what that would do and how that fits into my theory scientifically, I’m not sure, but we know what happens in VK, so meh; we’re already ignoring blood types, so why not? I still don’t understand the science and how it would genetically alter a whole group of people, so that’s all I got for this point.

I didn’t know white blood cells contained genetic info but red didn’t! That’s a fun fact. XD /random nerd 

Well we can just assume that what happened was the Hooded Woman ordered her genes to meld with the Hunters’ legacies so they can pass them on to their children (we know the Purebloods have control over their blood within other people, so we can easily allow for the Hooded Woman to have given the order here, or perhaps the cells just did what they do and took over). 

Thanks for continuing this discussion with me! I’ll send in my next theory soon! Until then :)

I should be thank you for hanging in there with me while I dropped out to play games! =) Will be looking out for your next theory!