#this behavior is on YouTube and Twitter and some other places as well but oh my god

[moophinz]

I’m sorry, but if you believe the only way a fictional character can achieve happiness is through a nuclear family, and you view this as “normal” then your opinion on anything is meaningless to me. The idea that that is the only way to be happy is flatter than a crêpe.

We see Kiryu at his happiest, when he’s at least got a good friend by his side and when he’s running the orphanage. It’s just so unnecessary and honestly boring to associate happiness to living the heteronormative dream. It’s the same thing with Mine when people can’t realize he’s gay. It’s the same thing with people who are mad about Majima not ending up with a certain someone and having kids with her. There’s too many fans of this series who don’t understand any of the core themes. There’s too many fans who walk in expecting the most bland story arcs.

Idk if Kiryu is going to have an inkling of a romance with someone in Gaiden or anything. All I do know is that I’m beyond tired of certain sides of this fandom whining and crying over a character not getting the trophy— ahem, the girl— like he HAS to. Like this is VITAL to everything. And that’s all I can say on that.

[strssed-out]

Cancel Culture and “Educating” On Twitter

WARNING: THERE IS A LOT OF BIAS AND OPINIONS IN THIS, I WAS JUST RANTING MY THOUGHTS ON TWITTER.

thank you and enjoy :D

Before quarantine, many content creators were not as big as they are now—Dream, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Ranboo, Corpse, so on so forth. They have grown enormously ever since the start of lockdown. With growing that fast in under a year, a vast fanbase starts to form as well. Twitter has now almost wholly controlled the MCYT fandom (Minecraft Youtubers) and having at least one to two things on the trending tab about their content creators. Many things can go wrong with a huge fanbase. But having a fanbase that is controlling a big social media site makes it worse. We have seen some of those moments throughout this year.

Twitter has two sides when they want to give content creators criticism. It’s either “educating” them with threads or just bluntly saying how they need to get better. However, both things start with the “trigger warning” represented like this: //(insert content creator name) neg. The neg is short for negative. Many of those negative thoughts get trending whenever a content creator does something their fandom doesn’t like. It’s almost expecting them to be perfect. They analyze every tweet and move their content creator makes. Once they finally find them trip a little, they announce it. Now there are some relatively rare times where Twitter is correct. As in making content creators stop some type of ACTUAL hurtful behavior. (when I refer to actual I mean behavior that affects EVERYONE on social media, not just Twitter. So, when people on other social media sites are talking about it, and are having similar views.) In this situation, you would expect them to use the educating type of idea. Well, no. Twitter users like to make it more threatening, and from what I understand, it makes the content creators understand better…? This is just wrong and disgusting to find these tweets about these small mistakes these content creators make.

Talking about those content creators. Each of them resolves the problem(s) differently. It’s either writing a lengthy apology on Twitter or apologizing on stream. Sometimes, their apologies are well made, and Twitter is happy. But if they are not good enough, people would tweet things as in, “what a half-hearted apology” or “what type of apology is that”. Usually, those apologies that aren’t the best are like that because of constant Twitter pressure. Yup, who would have known. If a content creator is still active during the trending of their name, like trying to get a video out, Twitter will start attacking them. In short, Twitter expects the BEST apology in a short amount of time. What they don’t understand is that content creators also need to figure out what the hell they did wrong. It’s not easy. Twitter doesn’t understand the stress of having thousands of people constantly attacking you on the spot. Twitter just thinks they know.

Now, you see how I keep referring to Twitter and only Twitter. Well, on other platforms like Tumblr and Youtube, people have very different opinions compared to Twitter. If it’s something to do with people of color (POC), Twitter is the one to over-react in these types of situations, while POC on other platforms seems to just laugh at that joke. Most of these “over-reactions” are because most of these people tweeting are white, not POC. Pretty much, it’s just white people speaking for POC. To make it clear, if you are someone who is ACTUALLY hurt by what the joke targets, go ahead and voice your opinion. It's just, I HATE IT when white people speak for POC. Expressed by many POC, they don’t like that and never will. So, in short, Twitter is just a place with overly sensitive users. (haha)

Now, my opinion on this whole thing. As a POC, most of these jokes that seem to hurt Twitter are honestly not that bad; they are pretty funny. Sometimes, I don’t understand how people get so overly sensitive over those jokes. I'm not saying that you can't hate on them. It's human nature, you gotta at least dislike something in life. I've seen it many times, people on Twitter like to put a trigger warning to the person and content creator Schlatt. Haha, yea, A REAL PERSON. I get it, he has made some REALLY messed up jokes, that I don't even find funny, but putting a trigger warning. Come on now. The real problem with Twitter I have had for a long time is how they can take things WAY TO FAR.

Two good examples are the Karl Jacobs drama and Tommyinnit drama. Karl Jacobs is a friend of the famous Youtuber, Mr. Beast, and a part of the DSMP (Dream SMP). Some old tweets were resurfaced about Karl supporting a content creator that has said slurs and very racist jokes. Of course, Twitter starts their routine by trending the two words, “karl neg.” This is trending for a few days. Eventually, Karl begins to stream for this whole drama on Twitter. His apology was acceptable, but the thing that pissed me off was when someone had called Karl asking him if he had eaten. Twitter had affected Karl’s health, causing him to starve himself. This is quite similar to what happened to Tommy. Twitter had affected his health, but instead of apologizing, they use that against him. Tommy streams on his alt account, and the stream was just a QandA stream. Eventually, they hit the topic of “tommy neg.” (He streamed a day after tommy neg was trending) He starts apologizing but started mixing his words up. He was very nervous and anxious about the whole thing. Why do you think he was scared? Twitter! Haha… He starts going on the topic of him going to therapy. A few minutes, tommy neg is trending AGAIN. Two days in a row. On the first day, there were some good tweets about whatever Tommy had done, but the second one was just stupid remarks towards Tommy. People on Twitter used his anxiety and therapy talk against him. They were still getting mad at him. This was vile to see and read. Who has the guts to use someone’s mental health problems against them? Oh well, that’s Twitter for you. Continuing about Tommy’s alt stream, there were multiple times when he looked like he would have a panic attack or just start breaking down. His whole stream lasted for about an hour. Eventually, tommy neg was filled with people with the same opinions as me. Such as how horrible it was to see people use his therapy against him.

In short, Twitter has become a very toxic place for both people in the fandom and their content creators. They are affecting mental health as well. Having many white people speak on our behalf in these jokes or stereotypes is tiring. We understand you have the privilege, but please use that privilege when it is ACTUALLY needed. Honestly, I find it so funny yet heartbreaking that white people are over here trying to "teach" a GAMER about how to be better when they can use that "white privilege" for other topics that are ALSO discussed on Twitter. (yea! other topics are discussed on the platform! I was even surprised) The DSMP fandom on Twitter is just a place of overly sensitive users.

- a POC

[memxntomxri]

ｌｏｎｅｌｙ ｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ʜᴏᴍᴇ

𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 - kuroo tetsurou x kozume kenma

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 - fluff, comfort

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤 - kenma has a breakdown over haters on the internet. kuroo comforts him.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 - 1.4k

𝘵𝘸 - online people being assholes, panic attacks, referenced stalker-ish behaviors

𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 - fluff to make up for day 1's fic. thank you for discord server friends (LouEve_094, Lena) who listened to me screech while writing this.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

Kuroo’s assistant, Takahashi, tentatively stuck his head into the conference room, where Kuroo was currently listening to a pitch about doing a joint press venture with the baseball league. It was interesting, but not enough that he didn’t notice his assistant’s frantic finger-pointing and beckoning.

Kuroo murmured a quiet “Sorry” and excused himself from the table, stepping out to converse with Takahashi. Takahashi wouldn’t bother Kuroo unless it wasn’t urgent.

“Sorry, sir, but I’m so glad Suzuki-san informed me about the situation, I—” he began. Kuroo held up a hand. Takahashi was trustworthy and brilliant with a spreadsheet program, but he could also run on for hours if one didn’t force him to cut to the chase.

“Takahashi, what exactly happened?” Kuroo said. Takahashi shot him a confused look, then his eyes widened almost comically.

“Kuroo-san, did you not see your ring?” he asked. In their world, because of some god’s whim or something, everyone was born with a ring tattoo on their right ring finger. It acted like some sort of mood ring… for your soulmate. Blue meant sadness, red meant anger, green meant disgust or jealousy, yellow happiness, gold pride, so on, so forth. When you met them, the ring would flare a bright, distinctive color. Kuroo had been fortunate enough to witness his flare as a measly 8-year-old, and Kenma had been stuck with him ever since.

Kuroo automatically glanced down at his right hand. Shit, he cursed. It was black all the way through—that was not good. That meant that something had set off Kenma’s panic attacks—a bad one, because Kuroo couldn’t see the swirls of grey that meant that his fiancée wasn’t completely lost yet—and Kuroo felt horrible for not noticing.

Takahashi gulped. Kuroo had momentarily forgotten that his assistant existed. “There’s more, Kuroo-san.” he said warily, as if approaching a wild animal.

“What?” Kuroo snapped, then shook his head quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Takahashi smiled gently, a reassuring one meant to placate Kuroo’s wild emotions. “It’s okay, Kuroo-san. Um… are you sure you want to know what’s going on with Kozume-san?” he grimaced. It must be bad for Takahashi, of all people, to be making negative facial expressions. “Just tell me.” Kuroo barked. He winced. “Sorry, didn’t mean that either.”

Takahashi replied, “It’s alright. Anyways, it seems that when Kozume-san beat out that beauty youtuber, Alice007, for the first Japanese Youtuber to get 10 million subscribers today, she went on a tangent on Twitter and caused a lot of her fans to start attacking Kozume-san. They… also mentioned you.”

Kuroo’s head whipped up. “What?”

“Apparently, Alice-san’s sister went to Nekoma High too and believed that she was your soulmate. If the tweets are any indication, both of them are a little, forgive me for saying this in a professional setting, delusional.” he said apologetically. Kuroo wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. On one hand, the love of his life was being torn down online. On the other hand, Takahashi was finally saying something negative about a human being.

Kuroo tipped his head back.

“Well, I’m heading home. Sorry for flaking out on the meeting, but can you please tell them a brief summary of what’s going on? Don’t go into too much detail though, Kenma values his privacy.” he requested. Takahashi nodded. God, Kuroo was lucky to have his assistant. “Thanks, Takahashi, you’re a lifesaver. Why don’t you take Friday night out and take Mizuki-san,” Takahashi’s 158cm tall spitfire soulmate who always seemed to have an infinite supply of dirty jokes, “out on a date?”

Takahashi allowed a small smile to break his professional face. “That would be very nice, Kuroo-san. Thank you. Now go, Kozume-san needs you.” he said, shooing Kuroo down the hall towards the elevators.

For someone who acted so demure while working, Takahashi sure could be forceful when he wanted to.

｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡

Kuroo nudged the door to his and Kenma’s two-bedroom (one was Kenma’s streaming room) open. His arms were laden with bags from the nearby grocery store, filled with Kenma’s favorite comfort foods, a few new video games, and a box of prescription meds for his anxiety that Kenma had slowly moved on from.

“Kenma?” he called down the hallway. No response, except for sounds of muffled sobbing coming from their bedroom. Kuroo kicked off his shoes and set the bags down, heading down the hall to investigate.

He cracked open the door a few centimeters, and there Kenma was, curled up in a ball on the king-sized mattress, phone an arm’s length away, screen cracked. Kuroo tracked his eyes to the correspondingly-sized dent in the wall. He walked in, sitting down next to Kenma’s prone form, but not touching him.

“Hey, kitten.” he greeted quietly. Kenma reached for his sleeve, rubbing his hand twice, up, down, on Kuroo’s wrist. Ah. That was the signal for when he had gone nonverbal but wanted Kuroo to give him physical and verbal affection.

Kuroo scooped Kenma up into his arms, tucking him into his lap as he rested his chin on top of Kenma’s head. “I’m sorry people are being assholes, Kenma. I hope you don’t believe them, because they sure as hell aren’t true.” Small hiccups as more tears ran down Kenma’s face.

That was alright. Sometimes, Kenma just needed someone to hold him and tell him that he was alright.

“I bought that game you wanted. Overcooked? Yeah, that was its name. We can try it out when you feel up to it. Maybe invite Akaashi and Bokuto over. Chibi-chan and Kageyama too, if they’re in Tokyo.” Kuroo continued.

“You know, all these people love you, Kenma. It doesn’t matter what people online think, especially when they’re just following a deranged leader.” Kuroo reassured him.

Kenma looked up at him questioningly. Kuroo sighed. “Yeah, I heard. I have no idea who Alice-san’s sister is,” he said in response to Kenma’s silent question, “besides, I trust our parents and our own memories more than some beauty guru who can’t take being beaten.” he scoffed.

Kenma took a few deep breaths, a sign that he was slowly calming down. Kuroo rubbed comforting circles down his back. “T-Tetsu.” he murmured. “Am I a bad soulmate because I’m not that affectionate?”

Kuroo jolted, then cupped his hands gently around Kenma’s face, leaning down to press a light kiss to his lips. “No, Kenma, never. I know you love me, and you know I wouldn’t have you any other way. You’re my kitten, remember?” he reminded. Kenma nodded slowly. Good. Kuroo breathed a slight sigh of relief in his mind. It had been months since he had needed to do this.

Kenma continued, speaking even quieter. “Will everyone leave me? Am I going to be lonely in the end?” he asked. Kuroo’s heart ached. He knew that that had always been one of Kenma’s insecurities—that his aloofness would drive people away from him. “Kenma, if you’re alone, then I’ll be alone with you.” Kuroo said resolutely.

Kenma broke down into a few sobs, hopefully getting it out of his system. “T-Tetsu, they found our address.” Kuroo froze. “What?” Kenma nodded. “Yeah. S-someone sent me a red paint-stained picture of me with a knife stabbed through my f-forehead.” he struggled to get out.

“Shh, shh, Kenma, I’m here now. Don’t force yourself if you don’t want to talk.” Kuroo reassured.

Shit. They had both known that this could become a probability when Kenma had started getting famous, and they had been lucky for a few years, but someone finding out at this moment was just bad luck.

Kuroo wrapped his arms tighter around Kenma’s smaller frame. “Don’t worry, kitten, I’ll protect you. Always and forever, remember?” he said with a cheeky smile, pointing at the band (the metal one) around Kenma’s left ring finger.

Kenma’s quiet, melodic chuckle filled the air.

Kuroo chanced a glance down at his right ring finger. It was still dark and murky, but there were traces of pink and a pale color that he hoped was yellow. It wasn’t back to usual, but they were getting there.

｡ₓ ू ₒ ु ˚ ू ₒ ु ₓ｡

A few hours later…

Curled up on the couch, Kenma fiddled away at his PSP. Kuroo plopped down next to him, holding two steaming cups of chamomile tea. “Tetsu, I placed an order for a new phone.” Kenma said, not looking up from the phone.

“Oh also, you’re still going to have to pay half the rent for our new apartment. I’m not going to be your sugar daddy, no matter how much you beg.” Kenma deadpanned.

Kuroo snorted. Nothing ever really changed with his Kenma.

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

© ʙᴇᴛʜᴇʏᴅᴏᴄʀɪᴍᴇᴡʀɪᴛᴇꜱ 2021 - ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

[dracotheocracy]

the sarah z discourse happening right now is further proving my belief that i could not psychologically handle being a content creator with a known social media presence like. the level of abuse you have to tolerate as someone with a platform to avoid setting off that subset of people that want excuses to do and say incredibly vile shit and subsequently getting blamed for sic’ing your “fans” on someone is actually incredible.

like the cost of the TINIEST social misplay at any level of internet fame is ridiculous. i think she messed up posting that ask because it invited harassment but she makes a good point in saying content creators are expected to tolerate some absolutely vile treatment without protest and that is just wrong.

my stance is a little different in cases like with dream because i just. don’t think he has a temperament suited to being the subject of online discourse and i think he should’ve realized the wisest solution to the harassment problem on his end would be to stop posting on twitter because he rarely makes measured responses to his critics, at least not before compounding the original mistake with another one first.

but i don’t blame him for the behavior of his fans. i think he galvanized them for sure but to what extent is it a content creator’s job to protect other people from their audience, a demographic that after a certain point they honestly have little control over? dream gave his toxic stans several targets but the worst thing he was directly responsible for was making idiotic quips and acting generally childish which is a bad look for someone in his position, yes, but while his behavior informs the harassment it will always reflect significantly worse on his fans than it does on him, and that his fans are willing and able to send such hate is, well, their problem more than it is his.

at the same time, like i said he’s not absolved from blame. he sets an example by blowing up like that and i do believe the harassment his critics receive would be noticeably reduced if he shut his fucking mouth for a couple days before saying anything, but this is twitter where anything other than groveling and begging forgiveness is a loss. oh and groveling is a loss too because it’s clearly per formative and nobody actually means an apology they post on twitter (/s). the inciting incidents often cause dream to receive a lot of harassment as well which galvanizes his own poor behavior and thus the snake bites its own tail and all. the most apt description of it is as a cycle of violence. because ultimately that’s exactly what it is. the hate machine feeds itself

(edit): i realize this reads like a defense of dream and funnily enough i didn’t intend for that because i think he’s more in the wrong than his critics lol. let me reiterate that i think he’s smart enough to realize what the best solution possible was. it wouldn’t eliminate the cycle of hate completely but in functionally disappearing and not responding to critics at all except in a place where he can maintain some level of distance would’ve been good

which is ANOTHER problem because dream encouraged his fans to form a parasocial relationship and i don’t think it’s a hot take to say that made his fans even more vitriolic. distance is vital as a content creator in warding off scummy fans, encourage them to get attached to you and they become personally hurt by people’s criticisms of you that should really be only marginally their business for the purposes of exercising their critical thinking when it comes to your content and behavior

anyway not sure why i spent that many paragraphs on minecraft youtuber discourse especially considering that this started out with me talking about a youtuber that’s completely removed from that social circle. my point is to win at youtube you have to be completely inaccessible to your audience which mega sucks because it also means filtering out a lot of valid criticisms of your work and discouraging any intellectual engagement with it whatsoever, which is a gigantic loss actually, so let me revise my original statement: the only way to win at youtube is to not make videos and have no following or discernible personality if you do make videos

[rachelthompsonauthor]

What is social proof? It’s a marketing concept that we are all inadvertently, unknowingly contributing to every time we click on, retweet, like, reply or comment, and share any kind of social media, article, or blog post on the net. Technically, social proof, as defined by Sprout Social is:

The concept that people will follow the actions of the masses. The idea is that since so many other people behave in a certain way, it must be the correct behavior.

Social Proof and Me

As an author, social media is a hugely important part of my author platform, as it is for any writer or blogger. This is how we connect with readers now, even before the pandemic. Virtual, online events are now the norm. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube Live video discussions are the new book signings. Twitter chats are weekly on any number of topics; I have two of my own, in fact, #SexAbuseChat every Tuesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est and #BookMarketingChat every Wednesday at 6 pm pst/9 pm est.

All important for visibility, branding, and most importantly, connection.

However…there’s a limit. I reached my limit over the course of this past year. It didn’t come all at once. It came, little by little, reaching a peak this past month or so.

Why? How? Me, the so-called social media expert?

Access. Like many people, I have issues with the incredible level of access Facebook gives people once we friend them without our consent. PMs (private messages) are automatic, now with the ability for people to call, voice, and video message us, with no option to shut these options to OFF unless we unfriend the person (we can, however, mute a specific conversation). Technically, we do give them consent in the legal mumbo jumbo we all agreed to when we joined back in the 2010s.

I am not okay with this. And Facebook doesn’t care. Nobody cares. You’re probably thinking, “Geez, Karen. Shut up, already. Stop your whining, white lady.” I get it. I do. First-world problems.

I counter with: I hear you. It’s also part of my business. A huge part. Here’s why:

As someone who manages over 70+ various social media accounts as part of my BadRedhead Media business, plus my own accounts as well, Facebook requires I have a personal account in order to manage all those other Pages. I do understand why, particularly with all the ridiculousness of the past four years with the abundance of fake accounts, fake news, and such.

As a survivor of sexual abuse and stalking, this is ultra-concerning to me. So, what happened this past month or so? Suffice it to say, one person repeatedly tried calling me. I never pick up Facebook calls, especially if I don’t know you. Another left me a few voice messages saying they were offended by something.

Yet another left me another message in ALL SHOUTY CAPS that she didn’t find what I posted inspirational enough and she expected better from someone who is “supposedly on the side of authors.”

Oh, and there is the one lady who started replying on ALL my posts to the kind people who did comment that she didn’t think I replied often enough or to her satisfaction.

Well. I’ve been criticized before. You should read some of my 1-star reviews. There’s plenty!

But, for whatever reason, this struck a chord. I got up in my feels. I cried. I talked with one of them and we worked it out because we like and respect each other’s work in the mental health space. The others I blocked. It’s darn frustrating to donate hours of my time each week to helping writers solely because I want to, only to be told it’s not enough. Like, seriously? Fuck off.

My blood raged. My heart sank. Understandable, right?

But what really made me angry is that I put myself in that position by being available. I accepted that ‘it is what it is.’ This is what the social media platforms have given us, so that’s what I have to work within.

I’m too available. It’s too easy to leave me shitty messages. This is why people hire people like me – to handle this crap for them! So they don’t have to read these ridiculous criticisms from judgy people who apparently have nothing better to do or are having a bad day.

And I get bad days. It’s a damn pandemic. We’re all struggling. Where’s the damn compassion for one another?

I have a dislike/hate relationship with Facebook anyway, since about ten or so years ago when I discovered that a past love had died by suicide by going to his personal profile and seeing, “RIP dude,” messages there. We had spoken early that day. It still haunts me.

So…what to do? I’m claiming my time. I’m not posting to my personal Facebook profile right now. I’m ignoring it. I am checking my Pages and of course, my client Pages. When I feel like I can face it again, I will cull my ‘friends’ down from *checks real quick* 4385 people to maybe, I don’t know, the few hundred in my groups, many of whom I do know and treasure.

Social Proof and You

If you’re a writer, social proof matters. This is the world we live in. Publishing is not only writing.

You need to be ‘findable,’ not only on Google, but also on each individual social platform, so your readers can learn more about you and hopefully, buy your books. If you go the traditional route, publishers and agents want to know how many followers you have (easily upped by buying fake followers or likes from Fiverr or wherever). I suggest not doing that, because:

1) fake followers don’t buy books 

2) it’s usually pretty obvious when you have fake followers because they’re all foreign names, have questionable bios, and no tweets

3) do you really want to start your publishing career with a lie? 

They also want to know what you post, how often, and what your branding is. If you’re an indie author, honestly, the same applies. Social proof is about connection, building relationships, and authenticity. I’ve believed that since I started my business and writing career way back in 2011, and I stand by it now. Start slow, grow slow. It’s not a race.

I’m the furthest thing you’ll even find from a conspiracy theorist – I don’t believe in chemtrails, pizza parlor cabals, or that the earth is flat. However, I am a realist. Watch The Social Dilemma sometime. These huge tech companies share our data without our knowledge or consent (Cambridge Analytics, anyone?). Younger generations are so used to this, they don’t really care – ask them.

(My kids think having a chip implanted in their hands with all their data is a fabulous idea. “So much easier than having to talk and repeat everything over and over. Just scan me and be done with it,” says my daughter Anya (21). “Agree,” grunts my son, Lukas (15). Buy stuff, go to the doctor, whatever. Scan and go. Talk with any GenZ kid, you’ll likely get a similar answer. They’ve been tracked since birth everywhere. They don’t know life without a computer, tablet, or phone in their hands.)

Know that whatever we do, it’s all part of each platforms’ AI, and they share data, which is why that darling pair of shoes you just saw on Amazon is now showing up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, and every website you visit going forward. It’s all about the money, and they all get a piece of that affiliate link.

Every bit of every click is recorded, even when you’re watching videos on YouTube, or a subscription service like Netflix, or perusing goods on Amazon. It’s all connected. I’m not shocked or surprised by any of this, are you?

It’s Not Personal

What people say to us and about us is ultimately incredibly revealing about them. We know this, at an intellectual, psychological, and emotional level. Still, when people say mean things, it hurts. We’re human.

Does it matter in the overall scope of our lives? Who can say. It matters at that moment. It can matter when it comes to overall visibility when you’re marketing your book(s) or trying to get that book contract or interview. Only you can say if it matters to you.

Already a longtime fan of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS by Don Miguel Ruiz, I took a moment to reorient myself with this one agreement: Don’t take anything personally. I also stumbled across an excellent short and entertaining TEDTalk by Frederick Imbo. His main message to stop taking things personally is two-fold;

It’s not about me. Look at the other person’s intention and

It IS about me. Give yourself some empathy. Speak up. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel and be vulnerable with your needs.

I’m glad I was able to, inadvertently, employ point #2 and work out some issues with one of the people by telling him what he said made me cry. He apologized. I apologized. We talked it through and we’re still friends.

Ultimately, social media is what we contribute to it. What we make it. How much we allow of it into our lives. Social proof is going along with the tide. I’ve been in this space since 2008. Being connected to others is a big part of the work I do to help and support not only other writers, but also other childhood sexual abuse survivors. However, I’ve reached that point. I knew it was coming.

I’m not shutting my doors. I’m just adding a screen. With a strong lock.

***

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

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The post What Is Social Proof and Does It Matter, Really? appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

[hamsterrivals]

ok, so.

I made a youtube video, of me narrating Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I was wondering for awhile if it would be ok to upload a video that’s just directly an anime episode of Ashita no Joe.

I thought partly, maybe it would be ok, since that anime came out like before 1970 or something so maybe it’s free domain,

but nah. It is blocked. I can’t find the video at all.

but, that isn’t going to stop me..

I will do the impossible, (even though I am depressed, about someone I know. irl)

and narrate Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I made a whole video of me narrating it with my voice. but it’s blocked aaaa. I refuse to let it go, though.

giga..drill...breakeriswhat I’d say but I am too depressed about someone I know irl.

Ok so anyways, this was gonna be a YouTube video, especially cuz-- [had to delete the explanation] anyways here:

[deleted stuff.....] ...

anyways here:

oh shizzat its 4am I’m fluffin’ tired. so I’m just gonna skim the episode and post screenshots argh my foot is pulsating as I type that as if my entire body is thinking “wow I know you re-watched Ashita no Joe episodes again yesterday but you should watch the whole episode again its godly” I’m sorry ewotjwte its just almost 4am and I had to wake up at 10am yesterday.

the opening plays. and then:

that one guy that is like my dad reads about my stuff

Jebus freakin’ RICE I’m tired. But I need to do something productive today cuz after I woke up at 10am for my social worker I was tired and drained all day from hearing the voices of the people upstairs and the noise in the wall.

my dad I mean Danpai keeps reading the newspaper (like how in -- gah nevermind [deleted cuz I’m paranoid about what [NEVERMIND deleted the explanation]] and

my freakin’ dad I mean Danpai gets mad at Joe just like

I DELETED [can’t say] like 8 years ago cuz of that time when I [=/ Can’t say the details]

GOSH DARN IT this is just like something irl and I can’t even say what it is because I’m too paranoid about people [deleted explanation here]

ok so basically Joe is super successful and doing good things in this world but no one believes him cuz his stupid azz danpai adopted dad figure is a dumb bummie, and then

and then I wanna explain 99 lines but we’re not even 2 minutes into the episode, so I guess I have to skip some parts; I mean it is 4am after all

and then

ok so there’s this snobby lady (at the time ? perhaps she changes at the very very very very end but I won’t give any spoilers about how the very final episode goes itjewiot btw I literally watched this anime starting from the very last episode cuz someone said this series has best ending in anime/manga of all time, and then I started back at early episodes after that, when I first watched this however years ago,)

and then

yes we printed this article cuz .. you’re trustworthy and popular but Joe is just an unpopular guy who helps out orphans and gives his money away to help out orphans

ya know how when I watched the first 11 episode with [won’t say but the guy that begins with Sau and ends with ce that I was friends with for 15 years and he kept making fun of it multiple times in the chat saying “More like a shit a joe.”] well these guys are like wow Joe is a delinquent cuz he is helping out orphans

wow Yabuki Joe used an alt account or some shiz and made a complete lie to try to help society for the better like making a peaceful game and then I mean boxing I mean waterver and then

no one believes ni the main character Joe who is LITERALLY helping out local orphans; and they’re basically like just jealous of him and twisting the truth to make him look bad is what these snobby popular people are doing t hat actually have friends unlike the wondering loner Joe Yabuki,

this very popular snobby lady who actually has friends unlike ab- Yabuki Joe doesn’t care that Joe is actually being helpful and wants to make projects that will bring peace to this world, she will not give him a chance because she cares more about appearances and keeping up her reputation.

....She takes on the full pressure and responsibilty. But can she handle it?

they’re basically like “uhhh do you have [deleted in case it comes off as offensive, since I know some others that make fun of that stuff >=\ which I don’t like either cuz I get made fun of [the deleted thing] too . It shouldn’t even have to be deleted >=\ but I was in a [DELETED] and they made fun of [the deleted thing] so I guess it has to be [deleted] which is so sad for this world ??] and so

the really cool person who *doesn’t reveal spoilers of the end of the series aa* says please leave Train- Yabuki Joe to me !!

i have faith in him he totally will not somehow break this faith that I vaguely have in him and am kinda too shy to publicly admit..

I wonder what Joe is feeling like right now and doing:

s o anyways Joe keeps laughing 99 times in this episode, and, cuz he knows he’s right and just helping out orphans and people that aren’t popular and too afraid to join the b- never mind.

some of his followers don’t respond to his long rants and are like maybe he is going too far and should back down fro mthe very popular snobby lady

Yabuki Joe laughs again

he says What’s the matter with you!? Stop siding with the very popular lady that actually has friends and a good reputation who is a stuck up and like do what is right instead of what . will make people think better of you even if you know in your hear that maybe it might be wrong.

The snobby lady posted on Twit- I mean irl the anime known as Ashita no Joe the they posted a screenshot of me saying “I have family.....” and they mocked him saying “Um.... I have family too....?” as her followers mocked Yabuki Joe on twitter in the 1970s anime or something,

but family isn’t what matters, everyone has family,

what matters is that you all still have a poor reputation because you have no friends which I think is 100% ok but the stuck-up lady who hates Joe for some reason atm just cares about how they’re rich in [deleted snarky remarks] reputation.

stop caring about the dislikes and haters and appreciate the supporters that you do have;;.

yabuki Joe says F THE HATERS THIS IS Just the beginning of [would say but I wanna here but X_X; [deleted the reason why I won’t] because of [deleted] because of [deleted]]

,y gpa; s 1 million followers cuz then they at least know what is right

in this world.

and then joe is like

and then;

then he’s like yea in my heart I know its good to have that many followers cuz I know the true true truth about Yabuki Joe the anime and manga character from Ashita no Joe, he just wants that many followers to program an indie game about- I mean anyways

they say

[OK WHAT THEH ECK I SERIOUSLY DID RECORD A VIDEO OF ME JUST NARRATING THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AND I uploaded it yesterday on a video sharing site but it is blocked cuz of copyrighted content aaa even though this was from before  1970 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I gotta explain in text instead of voice like I already did last night AAAAAAAAAAaa]

they say But what would you do with that much power, that many internet I mean irl followers in 197o in Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series?

and then Yabuki Joe says teh

then he’s like What the gosh darn shiz in yoshville mans,

and then

and they’re like Look Yabuki Joe lives in a Terrible place with Terrible living conditions wher e brick dust keeps falling down and then

and like Joe has no problems like getting kawaii innocent ppl to follow him, but the others are a bit suspicious.. of Joe and his behavior..

Joe is like i’m gonna build a huge online hamster game soon.

and then someone tells Abu in tumblr messages I mean they tell

Someone tells Yabuki Joe as you can see if you flippin’ watch the episode yourself (I don’t blame you. I hope someone will check this series out, though. It’s my favorite anime series, to be honest.) anyways and then someone from his fandom of - anyways someone says

He’s so full of himself.

I guess you suffer from delusions of grandeur?

the bully who is even in the same exact fandom as ab- Yabuki Joe of being an orphan says that, and because they’re so big inside, people blindly listen to them.

the true actual innocent follower that knows trainerab- Yabuki Joe is actually honest and truthful is like, wow shut the fak up brah, and then:

Then the “Are you sure you don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur?” doubtful follower who is keeping an eye on Ab-Yabuki Joe I mean and watching over him to try to keep the orphanage safe falsely then says “This is a clown. See this clown? Abu is hiring th I mean Yabuki Joe had this younger person defend him” Wow and then

one of the only innocent ppl in this show besides Yabuki Joe and a bunch of later characters in this series in later episodes that happen soon, know Joe really is telling the truth and that he really is honest and she’s pizzed awf at that hater troll person trying to Provoke joe and such on [deleted] anime & manga series Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series, and then

then they’re like, uh oh maybe Joe does have some loyal followers who know the real truth and we should hold our distance and see what he does and what he is truly like, first, and then

so, then

so then Yabuki Joe shows them their steam profile and the gam I mean the BY- I mean

Joe is like ok I played retro games my whole life and watched cool cartoons like the Rugrats and I play cool games and twisted trolls like the snobby girl try to make it look like I “change my interests to appease others” but come into my YouTube channel office and c the truth that I really DID play a lot of SNES games and then

I mean Yabuki Joe says this is my office and this is where I live,

I live in a factory that rains brick dust,

and then,

AND THEN I WANNA NARRATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE BUT IT IS FREAKIN’ 4:35am and I gotta get up soon

I mean I flippin’ already narrated this entire episode and commented on it etc. and made a cool video of it but YouTube blocked it AAAAAAAA even tho it was an anime made in

1970 I thought it would be free domain by now and o.k. to upload a video of it to YouTube with audio commentary GOSH AAAaaaa GOSH I WANNA NARRATE THE WHOLE EPISODE

AS I SAID IN THE youtube video that is blocked on YouTube I think it is a requirement cuz like it really pejeroyjoirjyorejijioe

ok have a nice night.

[maddiicake]

Dear (people listed below)

@miss-mary-grace

You pretended to be my friend just so that you could “sleep your way to the top”. You’re only friends with that certain group now because of me. I never got any thanks, except just some “I know what I’m saying will hurt your feelings” Well, bitch, if you KNOW, then that just shows your colors. Again, you KNEW--you said YOU KNEW--, yet you still did it because YOU KNEW. You didn’t stab me in the back. You stabbed me in the front while you were smiling and pretending to be the “innocent soul” that you have everyone believing you are.

I was Miru’s sister first, by the way. We even endearingly called each other “hermana” just as such. So, sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart, you weren’t her first “sister”. 

If I could go back in time, I would refrain from commenting on your poor excuse for art—talking about how “cute it is”—, and completely disregard you as a person, much less an artist. You only advanced and grew as an artist BECAUE OF ME. And I, unfortunately, got to see you true colors when you decided to indirectly admit that you were using me. 

Now, I’m used to people pretending to be my friend. But this was the first time someone had done so just so that they can get to where they are in life now.

So, just remember... You’re only Nova’s “little sister” because of me. You’re only friends with all of them because of me. You’re only where you are now because of me.

~~~

@zorakschicken / @zoraksrambles

Fuck you.

During the entire year where you had family member after family member (and your dog) die, I would drop messages here and there checking in on you. I didn’t bother you with messages every single day, like I’m sure you like to think (because “Big Bad Saki/Kura” is constantly and daily harassing people, apparently -__- ). Yeah, I vented to you now and then, but, compared to the times where I sent messages of support to you... those spurts of venting were SMALL in comparison. But, obviously, me venting was just oh so much more outrageous than the supportive messages that heavily outweighed everything.

“I won’t block you. I just think we need to take a break.” That was what you said before we agreed to take a break. And what happened? YOU FUCKING LIED! You blocked me on every single social media outlet that we share. Now, I don’t have a problem with being blocked--I could honestly care less if I got blocked--; what I’m pissed about is that you LIED ABOUT IT. Now, I blocked you first, because, for half a month after our agreement to “take a break”, you would snoop around on my dA (I track IPs, and have your name listed as such every time you pop by, so I know it’s you). It was really creepy and sus af, so I very briefly blocked you because “if you want to take a break from being friends, why tf are you snooping around...? >A>;;” So, you could back off. And then what? You block me for no reason? I didn’t fucking snoop around on you, like you did to me. WTF, dude...

And another thing that always bugged me... you Commissioning Nova. yeah, she’s your friend--but SO WAS I (at the time, at least). And you even mentioned to me how interested you were in my commissions, which were marginally cheaper than hers. So, for someone going through “financial issues”, you certainly are a hypocrite. Not to mention... it shows who you really saw as a “friend”, and our friendship meant nothing.

“Saki is always so negative. I can’t handle such negativity. It’s toxic.” You have an entire blog dedicated to hating some version of a series. What’s your excuse? Nothing but a double standard, if you ask me. Imagine being so high on your horse that you dedicate your time to something that upsets you. (That’s not me being hypocritical. That’s me saying “Hey kettle. You’re black just like me.”

You have schizophrenia. So what? I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but you don’t seeing me play that card as an excuse for my fucking behavior. I never have used any mental illness to excuse my behavior, which, let’s be real here--I’m fully aware of my negative track record, but not once did I play the “mental illness” card. I’ll use it to explain my behavior, yes, and emphasize that that’s the main reason why I’m Public Enemy Number 1 in the FMA Fandom and the reason why everyone left. But, I don’t use my mental illness like some “Get Out of Jail Free Card”, or to make people pity me or anything.

You may think that me making this call out post is the worst thing I could have done to you, but I could have done much worse. Remember: We shared phone numbers. I promptly deleted yours after we agreed to “take a break”, because I’m not that type of person to do shady shit with people’s personal information, unless it’s 100% necessary. 

At the end of the day all I can say is this: Fuck you, you lying ass two-faced piece of shit.

~~~

@novanoah & @mari-m-rose 

Despite what you may think... I do have screenshots. Or, “Proofs” as you like to call them (because “proofs” is totally a word, and not the incorrect use of “proof”... -_- ). The most recent screenshot is of Nova in 2017 committing libel against my friend with a one-sided no-”proofs”-used-to-back-up-her-claim post on Tumblr just to use her mob mentality and further show that she’s the type to use her popularity against people who are smaller than her. (Those “proofs” I have, by the way, and can show how full of shit she is).

And, it still disgusts me to this day that you are “happy” that I was told to kill myself. Are you kidding me? And here I thought I was the one that was fucked up in the head, and all I’ve ever done to all of you was stupid petty shit. To be “happy” that a person you don’t like is told (by numerous people) to kill themselves though...? What the hell is wrong with you? In that case, I’m sure you were crossing your fingers and praying for my death when I was diagnosed with cancer--only to have your little celebration party canceled when it wasn’t a severe type. But, I’m sure you got all ecstatic afterwards when the YouTube Ranters went out of their way to find my mailing address for the sole purpose of “Making [me] so stressed out that [my] cancer comes back and kills [me].” By your logic, you should be in absolute euphoria from that -__-

Sorry to disappoint you all, but the harassing, petty, little twat that bothered you all and gave you a hard time for a decade to the point she made you all (and every other single person) leave the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom is, unfortunately, hard to get rid of.

Speaking of Nova committing libel... let me just say that your little fanbrat Retreat coming after me last year wasn’t unnoticed. I knew it was sketchy af the moment they first appeared—it was no different than Cheery’s fanbrats Vixx_Der coming after me on Twitter for no reason and completely out of the blue just a month prior. So... Nice try at attempting to “give [me] a taste of my own medicine”. Committing borderline Tortious Interference... yeah, okay. That’s totally not something I could sue for. If not--defamation (which, had I known was a suable offense at the time, I would have totally done against Mayou back in 2016). 

And, like I mentioned in Mary’s little snippet up above... she’s only your friend and “little sister” because of me, so you’re fucking welcome. And, if it turns out that she’s using you the way she used me... I will laugh my ass off.

Above all else, and most importantly, my view of you both and the rest of the FMA OC Matriach is, has been, and always will be the same. I made a vow to “knock [you all] off your throne(s).” And I still plan to keep that promise. Because people like you shouldn’t be using that “I have a big number of subscribers/followers/watchers on my page, which makes me better than you~” mentality like you all have been. You’re all--every single one of you--are nothing more than HUMAN BEINGS. You’re not better than anyone one else, and you never will be. Guess what, snowflakes? Outside of your little cyberspace “safe place”, you have no power. Stop acting like you’re better than everyone else, especially to KIDS who are HALF YOUR AGE, and you think it’s right to make some stupid tumblr post (that has no evidence backing up your claim, and can be considered defamation, if not libel) painting that CHILD as an “evil person” and to order everyone to block them just because they said something you didn’t like. “I respect people who have different opinions than me” is the most obvious lie you have ever told. You’re nearly 30-years-old. Act like it and grow up. Stop bullying kids by abusing your power. You’re a HUMAN, just like the rest of us.

~~~

@mayounnaise / @sharkynnaise

Don’t know if you have a tumblr on here or not, but I couldn’t care less at this point. Let me go on the record of saying this:

Commit defamation against me one more time. Commit Tortious Interference like you did with (commissioner, who I won’t mention) again one more time. I dare you.

I WILL sue your ass, knowing what I do now--that what you did is a suable offense.

~~~

@miru-p 

I could say some pretty fucked up things right now, but I’m not that terrible of a person. I mean, I am a terrible person, but I’m not terrible enough to say fucked up things like: “Your family member deserved to live, and both of your positions should have been swapped over the holidays during that time. I’m sure your family member was a much better person than you.”

So, I’ll just simply say this: Vete a tomar por culo.

~~~

@hitantenshi

You are one of the most hopelessly optimistic people I know. The fact that you believe that people can change for the better is just absolutely sad. I mean, hello, have you seen my track record? I’m the bright and shining example and living embodiment of the reason why people don’t change. No matter how badly they want to. And if it’s because of a mental disorder, well, it sucks, because that diagnosis came too late and the damage was already done.

So, you’re all going to have to deal with this monster while I’m still around.

~~~

And to make it clear to every other single person reading this:

I’m not excusing what I did in the past, nor am I trying to make any excuses. I’m fully aware of the things that I did. However, that doesn’t mean that fakers should get some “get out of jail free card” and get away with it just because “they’re popular” or “friends with popular people”.

I’m fully aware of what I am. And, I’m fully aware that I’m hated because I’m a narcissistic, selfish, heartless, backstabbing, toxic, indifferent annoyance, harassing, ungrateful, apathetic, hurtful, manipulative, bullying, dramatic, sensitive, arrogant, petty, spiteful, over dramatic, drama whore, lying, shady, sociopathic bitch.

I’d constantly tell myself and others that “I’m changing” or “I’ve changed”, when really... I was just lying to them—and to myself—to make myself feel better. Always running away from some imaginary monster, and trying to be the perfect innocent souls that could do no harm. For a long time, I had actually believed that; fooling myself as much as I did everyone else.

Just want to make that perfectly clear. I’m not making excuses or using my mental disorder as an excuse or whatever. I just feel like I have to keep repeating myself all the time when it comes to stuff like this -__- (especially when people tell me otherwise).

[purplesurveys]

772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

[jan-uinely]

hot takes [pt. ii]

good[e] morning campers! we have more thoughts on \_ |_ | _/  RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 9... because i have nothing better to think about... lol. This is a novel, btw. 

SO... I have said it before and i will say it again... the in memorium segment gave me life. Robot Barbie Cheerleader. also RIP to jan’s clear drink in untucked. 

Let’s get into the gig, because why not. Unsure if readers are aware, but I am very politically minded. [do I use tumblr as a way to put politics aside for a little while? sure. but I have also worked on campaigns, did not take Elizabeth warren dropping out of the presidential race well... I mean she dropped at the beginning of march and now look at where we are.... anyWAYs.]

I did not like this episode. I did not like the challenge. From what I understand, the only other time this challenge was done was in season 4, but I stopped watching season 4 when sharon wore a conf*derate flag bodysuit for a mini challenge, prior to which she wore a mccain/palin shirt. I still don’t know if it was a joke, but #yeet. 

So this episode took the place of a “roast”/ stand up episode. Those are usually fine. They separate folks a little bit more. But, as someone who followed the recent primary with a VERY close eye, but was could also be humorous about it... Debates are hard to do. What makes a debate work is that everyone is well versed on everyone else’s platform, and knows how to attack them, because they have been the same person the whole time. For some reason, everyone “invented” a different character to play.... no one had a real platform... and it’s really hard to ~volley~ when people don’t really understand everyone’s characters. I also think, similar to the democratic primary- that there were too many people on stage. I also think snatch game happened too early... but that’s another story never mind anyway [did you catch that into the woods/bernadette peters joke???? @ JAN ]. 

So everyone has these “characters” which for the most part are not super consistent with who they’ve been portraying on the show... which makes it challenging. Then, it was moderated very poorly, and then edited together very poorly. There was no flow... it was very choppy. Again... not a fan. 

Season 8 also had a political challenge, but if i remember correctly, that was just a branding challenge kind of. It was better than this. Now, do I appreciate the fact that Drag Race is taking this election very seriously?? YES. But this challenge was just Not It. 

I thought Jaida was very consistent, I liked Jackie’s a lot [It seems like a running gag that she is too prepared in the same way that Jan was too energetic... which has its own election flashbacks....] I am really enjoying crystal... I thought she also had what was close to a fully formed character.. it just needed to bake a little more. 

So... next up... ms. goode. #cringe. tbh I don’t care about the performance. Were they just trying to redo snatch game? basically. were they the only person to try and do that? No. 

This mirror chat was the bomb dot com tho. best part of the episode.

We’re talking about the “oh i’m not political” We knew from episode one that Gigi grew up in a lot of privilege- and wasn’t the only one [@ jan] but jesus has it shown in gigi the most... I mean bob the drag queen said it best.. Gigi goode’s mom vs Jaida Essence Hall. 

But the nerve to openly say “i’m not political, and I don’t like it” when you KNOW at this point in time what the contestants have gone through... it’s just really insensitive. Also to be the open front runner knowing that the RPDR fans can be young and impressionable.. is really irresponsible TBH. 

Guess what? I don’t like to follow the news sometimes. I don’t watch tr*mp’s press conferences. Sometimes I log off twitter and go to tumblr. But I still stay INFORMED on the issues and am able to back up my positions. I VOTE. [cannot believe i’m saying this but i would not be surprised if gigi did not vote in 2016.]

[sidebar]

Maybe it’s bc I stan jan in a way that I have stanned no one else before [the only ru girl who even comes close to it while I was actively watching the show without prior knowledge is naomi] Maybe it’s combined with the quarantine that I have nothing else to do. And with that comes a [virtual] introduction to basically everybody who’s anybody in the NYC drag scene. [I will say the Bob-Monet-Cracker-Jan quad is just A+] So maybe I just have a better idea of what it is [have I gone down a Youtube rabbit hole on this subject? yes] 

Is new york also my personal favorite city? yes. Have I been to LA? no. Do I like the concept of LA? no. Have I been west of the mississippi river? no. So maybe it’s a combination of all of these things [including Jan saying on repeat that New York is the greatest city to do drag] but. The NYC girls are just so much more political. Brita, Bob, MOnet, tbh Jan is also on the record saying some A+ shiz. Marti Cummings is a non binary drag artist running for city council in manhattan. “Everybody black and aquaria.” 

Is NYC politics like any city, full of machines and garbage too? Sure. But NYC is just so much more powerful and political. LA is just the embodiment of privilege.

 I also think it’s interesting that some of the smaller town/city gals will move to LA [Trixie/Katya/Alaska? I’m looking @ you] after they get the drag race coin. Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, it’s just an interesting dynamic. [another aside: the non NY/LA girls deserve it all and i think it’s really powerful when the show directly addresses issues of wealth/privilege/access to drag on the show.] 

[end sidebar]

And Gigi came into the competition saying “I want to be on vogue” which is great. Their fashion sense is great. Most of their outfits are great. It’s great that they can do comedy [sometimes- like when they are not playing the role of Gigi] But something else I take issue with- and don’t get me wrong humility is great- is the whole “I’m not a dancer” that’s BS. they whole back handspring etc, madonna challenge. Maybe you weren’t a trained dancer, but ffs cut the crap. [if you haven’t look up gigi goode showgirls] 

And yet the judges continue to give Gigi [and SP] free passes. It’s like Ru is so afraid that if either of them end up in the bottom, they won’t turn it out and then there will be no frontrunner. Well guess what? In season 7, Max had 2 wins before anyone else and came in 9th. valentina going home was a total gag. Brooke and Yvie lip synced on the snatch game ep. But Apparently when the skinny white fashion queen from the big city [gigi, aquaria] does less than well, they don’t get put up for elimination??? [did aquaria deserve to lip sync for the makeover? idk.]

Gigi is getting a “winner” edit and it’s not really fair to anyone. People who should have won certain challenges were IGNORED, and instead the producers give all the credit to gigi, giving them almost a worse edit. Like we want to see humans, not robots. If we learned ANYTHING from last week is that the judges don’t like when you just “start on 100 and stay there THE WHOLE TIME”. Bc the truth is that [aside from the loads and loads and loads of privilege,] Gigi is really nice and very talented. But I, as a viewer of reality TV, live to see the perfect fail. I want everyone to shine [this is why I loved when Naomi sent manila home, oops] 

Also.. I would like to address the fact that Gigi basically used the same outfit twice... this runway and entrance look have almost the same pattern, with just a slightly different skirt type. I would like for this behavior to be called out bc it is such a memorable silhouette. 

Also- Shout out to Crystal for the most bomb ass runway... I want that whole outfit pls. 

but aside from that... TBH I just want a show with the real top 7 [ the heidi and widow have been cracking me up saying “we’re at top 5″ or “we’re at top 6″ before the ep aired on instagram and I’m loling.. and that VERY AWK moment when Jan is on the x change rate saying that they couldn’t justify putting anyone other that her and widow in the bottom bc gigi and 3 wins and trying to work around not saying SP’s name had 2. [also shout out to jan the real mvp for unfollowing SP on twitter]] doing competitions and having fun. And I’ve said this before. This is a really good season that did not need production’s handprints all over everything. But they chose to cast RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so they shouldn’t be complaining or trying to manufacture drama.

I was cracking up when Jaida was [clearly prodded by producers] asking is there anything we need to talk about? and then Jackie goes to talk to widow right before they leave and they are just nice to each other. lol no drama here. It’s the season of the inner saboteur. 

So Jackie and widow are in the bottom and tbh I don’t know. I would have liked to see Gigi lip sync. I would have liked this challenge to not happen. but it did. The lip sync song.. I just didn’t love the cut... Katy perry’s voice is so over produced [trend alert] that the illusion of the lip sync didn’t work in the first chorus. Jackie’s plastic bag was just A+. These lip syncs, tbh starting w jan v widow have been very good. not good enough to make up for the garbage that was everything since ep. 3, but close. [and some of that was song choice, some of it was not. I will say brita killed her first one but rip to rock]

Jeff gold bloom. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s bc I never saw jurassic park. Maybe he was just a bad judge. maybe he too was being prodded by production. ugh. You can read the takes on his interactions with jackie somewhere else. 

[fourteenacross]

end of 2019

I've done this survey every year since like, 2006 and then missed it last year because I was on a social media break. Whoops! My shitty memory makes it fairly important as a way to track the passage of time, so I'm back on the horse this year.

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I'm sure there's some specific thing, but nothing's coming to me immediately. Oh, I guess I started cross stitching? Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I'm not sure what my resolutions were for last year because I did not write them anywhere because I did not do this meme /o\ Next year: + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Finish my mg novel + Survive moving + Get a new job + Go on more dates

eta: Outside of these sort of concrete, 2do-list type goals, I set some more nebulous personal goals on Twitter: - See my local friends outside of the BFC more often - Do weird, dumb shit - Be nicer to myself - Fix my meds - Bake something fancy(Okay, that last one is kind of 2do-listy.) Did anyone close to you give birth? YES!! @caphairdadbeard had a baby and he's perfect and I love him and it kills me that he's so far away and I only get to see him a few times a year, even more so than it usually kills me having Sarah so far away. Did anyone close to you die? My former roommate's father. I did a lot of family stuff with her over the decade that we lived together and spent a lot of time with her parents and he was super loved and admired by his community. A real shitty loss all around. What countries did you visit? Just the US, but I visited Seattle and Mississippi for the first time! What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? ~*~Financial security~*~ What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I'm so terrible with actual dates. May 9 was Max's birthday, so there's that? We did a lovely, successful live show on April 18. OH we went to Rent Live and had our wild weekend in LA on January 26. We watched a lot of wild movie musicals at Grace and Jesse's in July. I saw Blair Witch in the woods. I went down to the city to see Octet and Hadestown. Lisa moved in with me. Moby-Dick happened. Now I'm just listing events and not dates, but there you go. What was your biggest achievement of the year? God, do I even have one? I'm not dead, so that's probably something. Oh, I guess we had a really good WBS month where we were interviewed by Forbes.com, had one of our crossovers with IDEOTV, guest edited TBD, and had our live show. That was a really satisfying few weeks. What was your biggest failure? I'm haunted by this work thing I fucked up, even though everyone has told me it wasn't a big deal. I really crash and burned out for NaNo because SAD hit me way harder and faster this year than it has in the past. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots of brain stuff, as per usual. A couple minor colds. My FAMILY on the other hand.... What was the best thing you bought? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Tickets to Octet, maybe. It was probably my favorite show of the year. The new chair/loveseat is also very good. Whose behavior merited celebration? Some of my friends. A lot of excellent activists. Sarah's baby (he's very good). Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Like, the whole government? Where did most of your money go? Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel. What did you get really, really, really excited about? LA, Octet, Max, DragonCon, Moby-Dick. Galentine's! What song will always remind you of 2019? Probably music from Octet? I don't like.....listen to the radio. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? Probably about the same? Maybe more stressed out by family stuff going on and money stuff. b) thinner or fatter? Same. Also, I hate this question. 2020 Kaitlyn, delete it plz. c) richer or poorer? About to be poorer. What do you wish you’d done more of? Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being depressed. Being stressed. Did you fall in love in 2019? Nope. What was your favorite TV program? If we're talking "currently airing" and not "things I bingewatch that are very old," probably The Good Place--OH I almost forgot Good Omens was this year!!! Also that! And I started watching Schitt's Creek and watched all of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Oh, and I started watching some videos on the Bon Appetit YouTube channel, mostly Gourmet Makes and Making Perfect and Reverse Engineering. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Mostly just like...........people I don't actually know who are terrible humans. What was the best book you read? Coming soon to a podcast feed near you! What was your greatest musical discovery? Probably Octet? I don't think I listened to a lot of new music this year. OH WAIT, The Highwomen!!! What a good album!!! (Also in doing the theatre section I just remembered Six was this year too!) What did you want and get? Mostly material things--clothes, cons, travel, seeing people, tickets to things, etc. Impeachment. Got that. That was nice. What did you want and not get? Financial security. A new job. Emotional stability. A relationship. More sleep. What was your favorite film of this year? Captain Marvel, although Us, Charlie's Angels, and The Wind were very good too. What was your favorite theatrical event of the year? Probably Octet! The broadway version of Hadestown was kind of disappointing compared to the 2016 NYTW version and Moby-Dick is great fun, but still pretty rough in places. Octet is just.....very good.  Oh, or SIX, that was great too! Octet or Six. Oh, and, jesus, this year was a hundred years long, I totally forgot we saw Denee as Eliza this year!! She was very good!! And I got to see Daniel Breaker as Burr again and I fucking love him. What was your favorite podcast of the year? The Empty Bowl, a meditative podcast about cereal. It is so good for zoning out and being calm. TAZ has been killing it with the one-shots and the Amnesty arc, too, and this was the first year I listened to MBMBaM weekly and also I mainlined all of Sawbones after listening to half of it, then not listening to any for six months, then deciding to start from the beginning again. Unwell is a really good show that I recommend, and Mabel. The Magnus Archives killed it with season four, which was tailored to my exact narrative tastes. MFM and Criminal are perpetual faves. American Hysteria was super interesting to go through and Bear Brook and In the Dark both obviously had fucking fantastic years. Oh, and Who the Hell is Hamish? that was fun too. And I’ll stop now.

I.....listen to a lot of podcasts. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34! On the day, I went out for dinner and drinks with some friends. That weekend, I bought a bunch of children's Captain Marvel birthday supplies and we played Jackbox games and ate cake! What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Any sort of fix to our current political mess. And/or financial stability. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? The "Whimsical" section on eShakti. What kept you sane? Friends! Podcasts! Anti-depressants! Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Brie Larson and Starr Busby are the first that spring to mind. What political issue stirred you the most? It’s hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire. Who did you miss? Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last four years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.] Who was the best new person you met? Did I meet new people this year? I know I internet-met a couple people, but I'm not sure if I in-person made any new friends? We hung out with this girl Jenn at con a bunch, she was pretty cool! edit: oh my god MAX I met MAX this year because he did not exist last year!!! Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: Do not invite folks to sit on a panel unless you know they'll stick to the goddamn topic agreed on in advance. Quote a song that sums up your year: And no one grew into anything new / we just became the worse of what we were

(I think this is the third year in a row that Dave Malloy has been my lyric of the year.)

Anyway, that’s 2019 for me. I can’t say I’m sorry to see it go. The last half, in particular, was super rough. Hell, the last week was super rough--guess how many members of my family have been in the hospital in December! If you guessed “six” you would be correct!! (Everyone is more or less fine.) 

But, hey, it also brought me my tiny nephew and two Dave Malloy musicals, so it wasn’t all bad! 

I hope 2020 treats you all well, friends!

[shookethbrooketh]

seven days

day two: part one

summary: dan is stuck in the wrong timeline. one day, he kisses phil goodnight. the next morning, he’s completely alone. he doesn’t even recognize where he wakes up, and little details in the world around him have changed. he has no clue what’s happening or where to go next in an effort to fix it; all he knows is that he has to find phil.

genre: sci-fi, a lil bit of angst, happy ending

warnings: none (for now)

fic word count: 4.3k chapter word count: 2.3k

written for the @phandomreversebang ! inspired by the awesome moodboard/edits by @maybeformepersonally ! beta’d (beginning to end) by @i-might-just-leave-soon !

read it on ao3

Sadly, however, there were a few things Dan didn’t know as he dozed off that evening. He didn’t know about the reminder on the phone he’d neglected all day making sure he, or the him that used to live in this timeline, didn’t forget about his first day on the production of Queer Eye. And he surely didn’t know that while he slept, as the clock struck midnight, the world began to change around him. It was like he slept in a protective bubble, holding him in place as the timeline disassembled and reassembled around his body. At 12:01, his entire universe had changed once again. Dan slept through that night in bliss ignorance until he was woken up and his world turned upside down once again. 

“Daniel!”

“Hmm?” Dan blinked his eyes open, and before he had time to rub the sleep out of them, he spasmed into an upright position, hitting his head on the back of the bed frame. 

He found himself in a hotel room with a man in overly done makeup standing over him. Everything from the day before rushed back to him, and it took all he had not to shout out, “Who the hell are you?” 

“You need to start getting ready for VidCon! Your meetup is today!” the man shouted at him. His voice was loud and shrill, and Dan would have given money to not have to hear it. 

“Okay, okay, give me some space!” he moaned, pushing the man back a little bit. 

“Alright, just be ready in an hour,” the man said, leaving through a door into a conjoined room. 

“An hour? Who needs an hour to get ready?” he asked himself, wandering into the bathroom. “Oh, FUCK!” Dan shouted, taking one good look at his face in the mirror. It was caked in makeup, but it had clearly been a bit smudged by sleep. “Oh, no,” he breathed, fear entering his confused mind. He rushed to find a phone back by the bed and ended up seeing an iPhone XR. “Shit, that’s gotta be expensive,” he said, opening it immediately with facial recognition. Immediately he found and opened YouTube and went to his own channel, something he was more than used to doing in his normal life. What he found was exactly what he feared: he was this timeline’s James Charles. 

Dan groaned, rearing his head back to the ceiling. “I don’t know how to do makeup!” he muttered, dragging himself back into the bathroom. On the sink was a collection of at least 15 different types of makeup. “That explains the one-hour wakeup call.” 

His eyes darted back and forth from blush to mascara to eyeliner to foundation as if looking at them each enough would show him what to do with them. Finally, an idea struck him. Unless YouTube was a completely different beast in this timeline, “Daniel Howell makeup tutorial” would be a fruitful search. It only took him a few seconds to find someone to teach him how to do his own makeup routine, and he was on his way. 

It took Dan about half an hour to do the makeup, and he was quite thankful that the Dan whose body he’d woken up in was wearing makeup already because if he hadn’t it would have taken him twice as long or more. He threw on some actually mildly tasteful clothes and grabbed his VidCon badge; at least he knew how to live this person’s life. 

Ready to go with twenty minutes left, Dan sank back into “his” bed and put his head in his hands. “Why the hell am I in another timeline?” he said, stressing a word every now and then just to exasperate his anger. “I’m never gonna find Phil at this rate.” 

He closed his eyes, attempting to hold back tears. He was sure a rich makeup YouTuber would have waterproof makeup, but he wasn’t willing to take that risk. Thousands of separate thoughts were running through his head, each of them desperate, but one stood out over them all: Dan did not want to go to VidCon. 

VidCon was one of his favorite places; it legitimized all his life choices and made him feel as if he was truly valued by the world. However, he’d never been to a VidCon without Phil in his life, and he didn’t particularly want to. He had fantasies about this VidCon--doing a meetup with Phil with both of them out and proud, hugging their fans tight and supporting them the way they supported the two of them--but now that was all gone, and he was left with a pound of makeup on his face and a bunch of people who didn’t even know him for who he truly was. 

His “friend” and apparently manager, whose name he eventually learned was, ironically, James, retrieved him and led him to the venue. He was lucky for that; he obviously hadn’t been told ahead of time where the meet and greet was, and between his height, his makeup, and his assumed fame, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be wise to mingle with the fans to find directions. 

“Aight, you’ve got a few minutes until the meetup; you can hang out here,” said James, leaving him in a sort of a green room. There was a wall in between them, and he could still hear the screaming fans. He’d never met fans alone before, and he was honestly a bit scared, especially without knowing what sort of fanbase the him of this timeline appealed to. He spent an immeasurable amount of time in his own head, searching aimlessly for something to calm his nerves. If only Phil were there with him…

Suddenly, a thought hit Dan. Maybe Phil was there with him. He’d yet to research the Phil of this timeline, so there was nothing telling him that he wasn’t still a YouTuber or that he wasn’t just halfway across the convention center. Dan whipped out the phone in his pocket and searched “Phil Lester” on Twitter for a second tie, and deja vu struck as he once again came up empty handed. 

“Damnit!” he cried out, but he had no time to mourn, for James had just thrown open the door and informed him that it was time for the meetup. Dan, taken by surprise, threw his phone down and jumped up. “Cool, let’s go!” he responded awkwardly. James furrowed his brow for a moment before eventually deciding to ignore Dan’s odd behavior and simply turning on his heel and leaving. Dan took a deep breath and followed, leaving in the opposite direction in which he came in, and he found himself behind a classic meetup photo background. This, at least, was something he was comfortable with. He put on his performer’s smile and stepped out from behind the curtain. 

Dan had certainly endured screaming teenage girls before; after all, he’d done two tours full of them. But this was a completely different animal entirely. It took all of his strength to smile and wave rather than double over with his hands over his ears. At this point, Dan was losing hope that his otherworldly counterpart wasn’t involved in some ridiculous controversy. 

At that moment, it dawned on the theatre kid still dwelling inside him that he probably should have researched his role before stepping out onstage. He was meant to put on a face and pretend to be someone else, and he hadn’t even a clue who he was to be. 

Before he even had enough time to think, the first fans were stepping up to meet him. Now, Dan had done over a hundred meetups, and even on his worst days, he’d always been attentive to each fan and been careful to make each one’s time the best thirty seconds to a minute they’d ever had. This time, however, was a bit different. 

Sure, he tried his best to act normal, but he quite simply wasn’t. He felt as if he was a fraud, given that technically he sort of was. No matter how much effort he put forth, these people were getting cheated out of meeting their idol. Well, hopefully they’d never know the difference. 

As a general rule of thumb, Dan had decided to go through the meetup emotionless. This was a bit difficult, as he and Phil had planned to, in their VidCon meetup, connect more emotionally to their fans, especially their LGBT+ fans, than ever before. But these people weren’t really his fans, and it was difficult for him to emotionally invest himself in speaking to people who didn’t really love HIS videos. Besides, he needed to keep his eyes on the prize: get through this meetup, then go back to looking for Phil. 

As the queue moved closer, he noticed one black-haired head sticking out above the others. His eyes widened, and his eyes focused on the back of a head facing someone else in the line. “Hi!” someone shouted, and his attention was forced back to the fans meeting him at that particular moment. Suddenly it became even more difficult for him to focus on the fans; he had to see the tall, Phil-like man’s face, but every time he looked up the man was facing the other direction. He felt as if the world refused to let them near each other, even though the chances that it was actually Phil were little to none.

Finally, he reached the front of the line, and the girl he’d been engrossed with conversation in poked him. “It’s your turn!” she whisper-screamed, and he jumped. 

“Oh!” he exclaimed, absentmindedly turning forward, and Dan’s heart skipped a beat. Sure enough, the face looking back at him was the face he’d fallen asleep beside every night for nearly nine years. The only difference: the man on the other side was none the wiser. 

“Oh my goodness, hi!” he squealed through a broad smile. Dan was almost taken aback by it; the Phil he knew wasn’t exactly a squealer, and he definitely didn’t have an American accent. He was quite the different Phil, but he certainly was Phil; there was no doubting it. Phil started speaking again, his words slurring together with nerves. “Iknow it’s sorta odd for youta meet afan who’sactually older thanyou but I hope you don’t find me tooweird…” he trailed off, clearly absolutely terrified to be speaking to Dan.

At this point, time seemed to completely stop. Dan had seen Phil like this, sure, but never for something as simple as a meetup. It completely blew his mind to watch Phil absolutely lose it over the chance to meet him. Phil, the man who he’d known for ten years. Phil, the man who he’d kissed countless times. Phil, who was supposed to be standing beside him on the other side of the meetup, was instead sweating through his clothes because he loved Dan so much. Inside his head, Dan chuckled. He had no idea. 

And Dan had no idea how to respond. There was no response to the person you love more than anyone or anything else in the world completely forgetting you. He wasn’t really sure what to do except for what he always did. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I promise,” he said, wrapping his arms around Phil. This wasn’t abnormal, as he’d done it for every fan thus far, but this time, it lingered a little longer, and it started much sooner than it should have. Still, he kept Phil close for more reasons than he could even begin to identify. Just having Phil there comforted his woes from the last day and a half, filled him with the love he’d always felt from Phil, and encited pure fear in him that he’d never see Phil again, all at one time. Finally, after what felt like only a millisecond but was clearly too long to be appropriate for a creator meeting a fan, Dan released Phil, and he was relieved to find that he was smiling. 

“Thanks,” Phil said, taking a deep breath. “I’m Phil, by the way.” It wasn’t until then that Dan really took Phil in; he was wearing his glasses, which brought a grin to Dan’s face; every universe’s Phil should wear his glasses constantly. It’s what everyone who encounters him deserves. He wore an outfit that reminded Dan of something he’d wear to their own meetup. It was interesting, Dan thought, how some fundamental things about Phil refused to change, even in an alternate universe. 

“Do you have something you’d like me to sign?” he asked. Phil nodded and handed over a pride flag. A burst of relief shot through Dan; Phil was still the same Phil. “I-I’d like to give you this, too,” he said, shakily handing over what appeared to be a drawing. As soon as Dan finished signing the flag, he snatched the drawing as if it were the Holy Grail and examined it; it was a picture of Dan, with every intricate detail drawn out. His dimples were deep, and every curl on his head was intentionally placed. He wore science-themed makeup, and Dan wasn’t even exaggerating when he said it was the best fanart he’d ever seen. “I’m a scientist, so…” 

It was like he was falling in love all over again. “Wow, Phil...This is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I had no idea you could draw like this!” 

“Well…” he stammered, “I don’t think you really know me at all.” 

“Oh, yeah, right,” Dan let out, disappointment evident in his voice. At this point, even Phil’s radiating awkwardness had dissipated into pure confusion. Dan had to think fast, and, through some miracle, he did. “Did you post this online? I’d love to show it some love.”

“Oh, yeah!” Phil said, confusion immediately being replaced by excitement. He was clearly still a bit nervous, but he seemed much more comfortable around Dan. That was a start. “I’m on Twitter @AmazingPhil.” Dan almost winced. How dumb could he be? He made a mental note: next time, search the name AND the handle.

“I’ll definitely check that out,” Dan said, beaming. “Thank you for this.” 

“You’re welcome,” Phil said, and the VidCon employees were ushering him on. Dan wanted to yell at them, to keep him there forever, but there was only so much he could do. 

“Have a great day!” Dan shouted as he watched the love of his life walk out of it clueless. He sighed, and muttered under his breath, “I love you.” 

[gavinbowman]

September - Launched!

Ok, let’s get the big bit out of the way first... we launched a game. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that long ago that I was popping games into the app store on a fairly regular basis... but this month’s Dungeon Drop launch was actually the first in over 2 years. And I think there was over a year prior to that one to find another. So those days are clearly long gone. And it’s been a trip.

But hey, Dungeon Drop is out, and we’re really happy with it. If you haven’t tried it yet, it’s a free download on the App Store now.

The launch experience was a fun one, we’d had September 19th lined up for a while as the release date, and then a couple of weeks earlier Apple announced that Apple Arcade would launch on the same day. Bringing 50-100 premium mobile games that players could play for free with a trial subscription, or enjoy completely for only $4.99 per month. All starting on the same day as our little game. What do we do? We had a lot of suggestions to move the date, and we were pretty split on it for a while there, but we ultimately decided to go with the original launch date.

And it worked out well I think, we got one of the best feature spots we’ve ever had for the game in the App Store, I think probably our first US feature since Slambots in 2013... I guess maybe a lot of developers avoided that date and left us some air to work with? Either way. It got featured. A few people told me they liked it, and few even told me they bought the premium upgrade. So that was a great feeling, mission accomplished for Dungeon Drop.

Our next iOS game launches mid-November. We’ll post it for pre-orders later this month and share details then.

We hadn’t really used the pre-order feature prior to Dungeon Drop, but it turned out to be really useful for sharing the game info before launch. We didn’t need a separate web page to direct people to, or even really a video, people could just see the screenshots and app preview on the App Store for themselves. We did post a trailer for Dungeon Drop on Youtube and a couple of twitter videos or gifs, and those worked out well too... so we’ll definitely do that again next time around.

Anyway, I’m less concerned about that launch now, having seen Dungeon Drop get some play and positive response I feel happy with where we’re at with what we’re putting out. Now we need to turn that around and apply it to Monsters & Monocles.

Oh god. What the hell have I agreed to. Finishing this up is going to be a big thing. Ryan is a smart cookie, so fortunately the code is clean and organized. It’s just that there’s a lot of it, and it’s all Ryan’s and not mine. It makes more sense than mine would have, but I don’t instinctively know where to find anything yet. I managed to poke at a few bits, they seem to do what I expected them to do, and I think I can massage all the things I don’t like into something we’ll be happy to launch. I just feel massively overwhelmed right now. There’s a lot of layers to everything, there’s 3 different platforms they launched the game on, there’s the single player, local coop, and online multiplayer cases to consider in everything. And then there’s the stuff that Ryan wasn’t really finished working on when he left... some of those things are hard for me to distinguish from things that either weren’t done at all or have been finished for years. For now I’m really just trying to build a big picture of it all in my head without running off to the mountains first.

I think what I’ll be looking at this month will be a long overdue UI overhaul, because I feel like that’s going to be relatively painless to address. I’ll just need new designs and artwork from Craig and I think I can shuffle everything around and give it a nice new lick of paint there... and hopefully that’ll start to make it feel more like my game. In game, there’s a fair amount of broken or less than great camera stuff that I’d like to get working, which should give me some exposure to the NPC systems and what state those are in, and then I’d like to get things like the player death sequences cleaned up. I’ll be having to touch a lot of systems but I feel like I’ll build a pretty good understanding of a lot of it that way.

I’m hoping a lot of the existing systems like the map generation, basic physics and controls, and the network play, are largely sound for most of what a finished version of this game needs to be. Some of the npc/meta stuff will need an overhaul to create a roadmap to 1.0, and some of the systems like the enemy behaviors, weapons, characters might just need expanded on as they are.

Hopefully. Since the game is out there anyway and there’s only a few people reading this I’ll try to talk about it in a more open inside baseball kinda way as we try to wrap it up. I’m always more open on emotional or general aspects of how things are going, so it’ll be fun to try to be more open in addressing specifics. No promises though, I’ve never really tried this before.

Speaking of generalities, this month wasn’t bad really. Launching Dungeon Drop was a huge distraction that I kind of allowed myself, and then I got horribly sick taking my kids to a soft play place and lost a bunch of work there too. But I’ve had much worse months, and after pushing through finishing two games in a row I probably should cut myself some slack. I’m spending some time working in the same room as Craig this week, which helped a bunch with Dungeon Drop, although it’s kind of difficult with Monsters & Monocles since there’s so much to do and I’m so far off the pace on mastering the ins and outs of the project. If nothing else, having someone next to me gives me a good push to try something anyway.

Aside from working, I’ve been having a blast playing the goose game with my kids, they just laugh hysterically while the goose is horrible, and it’s awesome. Probably one of the best games to play with kids. I finished up Mario Rabbids Kingdom Battle. That was great. My kids enjoyed watching some of the earlier battles and the story sections, but they got bored easily when the battles got longer and harder, and during the longer exploration bits. That’s actually kinda like me, tbh, although they did a great job of keeping the later battles challenging without becoming a huge grind or massively difficult. The difficulty probably spiked most in the second half of the second world and the first half of the third for me... There’s some extra challenges to play, I didn’t do those, and there’s more coop levels we didn’t play, those are fun too. Haven’t tried vs mode. 100% campaign and most of the collectables was about 30-40 hours, so a decent length, but my switch obviously can’t pull out kid aimless wandering or repeating time, so I don’t know exactly how that is. I could have shaved off probably 5-10 hours just by not wandering around looking for hidden chests, which mostly don’t add anything to the gameplay or give you any useful boosts, and involve a lot of back tracking and kind of boring wandering around (you’re wandering around beautiful worlds, but it’s mostly linear and you’ve seen it already). 

Other games, we’re still playing Mario 3D World, but the kids are definitely tapping out on it a little, but it had a very good run. They love watching Captain Toad, so I got to play through the first couple of hours of that, it’s adorable, I hope I get to play the rest. But they like to try to play and it’s too hard for them, so they get annoyed. We’ve played a bit of Mario Kart, but they don’t really try to stay on the tracks yet, but I feel like they’re going to love that when it clicks. And weirdly they watched me play Twilight Princess for about an hour last night and both seemed to love it, so I might actually get to make some more progress in that. Although it’s rough going after Breath of the Wild, the rigidity and the camera especially make it feel it’s age, even in the HD remake. Off on my own I’ve been picking away at an old copy of Link’s Awakening with the hope of finishing it again before I eventually play the remake. It’s such a great game, I think it may have been the first Zelda I actually played through, since I never had an NES of my own.

Okay, I’ve gone on long enough, back to work, I’d better get going on something so I have some good Monsters & Monocles progress to report next month.

[ramajmedia]

90 Day Fiance: 10 Most Shocking Couples | ScreenRant

This has to be one of the best series that TLC has shown us, and it is filled to the brim with shocking moments in every episode. It’s why we love it. As soon as we think we have the couples figured out, a surprise hits us right in the face. This list is full of them, ranging from some behind the scene antics that makes the show run, to which couples are doing fine, and how the ones that fell out ended up where they are.

Below, you’ll find 10 reasons we’re shocked about the couples of 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After from Season 6.

RELATED: 90 Day Fiance: 10 Things To Expect For The Chantel Family

10 What’s Up With Colt and Larissa?

Colt and Larissa had undoubtedly the most toxic relationship we’ve ever seen in the show, and that is in no way an exaggeration. Every single time the couple showed up on screen it took maybe three or four sentences before the yelling came in. Oh, dear lord at the amount of yelling coming from both sides, as well as Colt’s mother that lived with the two throughout the process.

They split up before the Tell-All where Colt emotionally proclaimed his love, moments before Larissa’s new boyfriend popped up to talk with the rest of the cast. Of course, Colt didn’t take this well, and the two shot off choice words at each other.

9 What Happened With Jay and Ashley?

This is far from your picture-perfect relationship. Ashley was in our prayers when Jay was cheating on her with multiple women while the show was filming, and even after that. It’s not just on his side though, his soon to be ex-wife has stated on Instagram that the two were getting a divorce, and, when she dropped the motion, she blamed it on her medication for lupus for affecting her thought process. So, why is she still on the show? Because the drama between the two of them makes for some very good TV, and fans can’t help but wonder what’s next for the two.

8 Jorge and Ansifa

Honest question here; where do we even start with these two? Do we start off by mentioning that Jorge actually met Ansifa on a cam girl site? Or that he was cheating on his wife with a somewhat famous YouTube podcaster Stevie Ryan? What about Jorge’s felony charges that he received when he was caught with close to 300 lbs. of marijuana in his car?

Do you see what we mean? This couple is insane, and, shockingly enough, Ansifa decided to stay with Jorge while he served his time in jail. She wanted to keep her life private but spilled the news on Instagram, shocking many regarding her decision.

7 What's With Azan and Nicole?

Azan’s disappointment at Nicole’s weight was a shared gut punch between her and the fans. She spoke highly of him, and the two seemed like they were really in love. The problems between them flared up since the first day they met, with problems on Azan’s end encompassing his girlfriends' weight and how she yelled at him in public.

The relationship went into a steady decrease, and we were really hoping the two would have sorted things out before the Tell-All, but they didn’t, and Nicole told everyone that she hasn’t seen Azan in well over a year. He decided that staying in his homeland was a better choice than flying out to meet them. Another tidbit? He even asked for Ansifa’s number and was ratted out by TLC themselves via twitter.

RELATED: 10 Best Superhero Couples In Movies And TV

6 Steven and Olga

Can we take a second to applaud a couple coming out on top from the show? After so many failed relationships falling apart and being televised from start to finish, it's nice to see a couple make it through all the problems they faced. Yes, the couple did have their moments on the show, but it came nowhere near as dramatic as the other couples.

Steven did lie to Olga when he told her he sent in all the required information for her visa, and we were shocked to learn that he lied to her. His reasoning was that he wanted to make sure she was the right one before making that commitment. She forgave him, and the two are now new parents.

RELATED: 10 Best Sitcom Couples First Kisses

5 Kalina and Asuelu

Let's keep the happy couple streak up for a little bit. These two were nothing but sweet to each other with their time on screen. Kalani meets Asuleu while she was staying at a resort during her vacation. Fans were shocked to find out that Asuleu was the first person that Kalani was intimate with, and when he moved to California with her, her family couldn’t help but be suspicious at his motives.

Fans were surprised to know that not only did the couple marry, but Kalani was pregnant with their second child while they were getting married. The couple had their second child together, named Kennedy, in April 2019.

4 Eric and Leida

Many would consider the age difference between these two to be shocking. There's a good 11-year gap dividing the lovers, and some fans think Eric is somewhat creepy for dating someone that far from his age. That also makes it hard to have a lot in common.

Eric was a long-time U.S. Marine, while Leida a talented model and singer with a work history surrounding teaching and coming from a wealthy family. Fans were shocked when she decided to leave her home for Eric, and his family shared the feelings. Even more disturbing? Cops were called in to settle a domestic violence dispute between the two of them. 

3 Johnathan and Fernanda

The 13-year age gap between these two had fans raising their eyebrows for a bit. Not just the age though, but how little the two actually had in common, despite Johnathan’s hollow words that they would be fine.

They weren’t, which isn’t shocking. What is though, however, is how quickly this relationship burned and how critical the couple got towards one another. The couple announced they were separating in January of 2019 after not speaking to each other in over a month. To make things just a little worse, Johnathan stated that he canceled his ex-wife's green card paperwork, essentially denying her the option to stay in the U.S.

2 The Tell-All

The Tell-All is the best place to see the tea between all the couples being spilled. It’s a hostile group therapy where everyone gets to dig into each other with personal opinions that leave scars. The couples constantly fire at each other with boyfriends getting pitted against boyfriend as their significant others are insulted.

Colt has been the center of many fights in the Tell-All with couples badgering him over his over-affection for his mother. It didn’t end there; Colt had another bout with Larissa’s new beau. Larissa was really enjoying herself at the site, and we were left shocked at just how spiteful the behavior of the cast could be.

1 Scripted Scenes?

Can we really be shocked that the producers may have scripted some of the most dramatic and cringe-worthy scenes in the series? Could we even blame them? Many fans are glued to the TV when the couples come on, and trying to pick out which scenes could be faked is becoming part of the fun.

Take the Thai massage scene from season 3, for example. That was fake, which explains why the cast was so casual about the entire thing. They’ve been known to stoke the fires throughout the show, though, from ratting out Azan to even letting Larissa bring her new boyfriend on screen. We are sometimes seriously shocked at the length that TLC will go to in order to nab and retain new viewers.

NEXT:  90 Day Fiance: 10 Things TLC Tries To Keep On The Downlow

source https://screenrant.com/ninety-day-fiance-most-shocking-couples/

[flameontheotherside]

Devil Worship And Bad People

Yeah I can be a loose cannon or a ranting "bitch" sometimes. Hey, I never said I was perfect. I've been bullied and fucked with my whole life. 🙄 The whole "turn the other cheek" doesn't sit well with me. Imo pussys TTOC. You have to stick up for yourself and don't be a doormat. Again, just my opinion. You don't have to agree with me. I love my friends and I consider you guys my "friends". No one fucks with my friends.

Once I got in to a heated argument with a drunk asshole at RenFest (I know what you're thinking. I was drunk too so being on my "best behavior" wasn't on the list so sue me.) who hurt a girls feelings for destroying her artwork she had for sale. It's her livelihood! How the fuck did the retarded piece of shit think it was okay the fucking moron... 😤 So I cursed him out and put him in his place. Being drunk I have no idea what I did or said because I blackout when I drink. According to Vince they had to hold me back from hitting him and carry me off to the exit on the way out I was still talking shit. I do (of course) ☝🏼😂 remember the girl said something to me. It was something like a thank you. 🤣 I felt like a hero.

I never considered "the devil" to be real...

Buuuuut after meeting God I'm terrified and I don't want him in my fucking house. 😂 👌🏼 LOL nope nope nope I'm good thank you. I dealt with sending away demons. Demons are just asshole spirits. Like we have asshole people. They make fun of, belittle, curse you out heavily, they thicken the air, they lie... Yup all the blatant negative bullshit.

Yall know how much I hate idiots. They are demonic people. They bully, harbor hate, jealousy, greed, torment... People are like that. Do I think they are haunted by demons? I donno. Maybe severely depressed people are being bullied by these evil spirits and people who bully work WITH evil spirits. Tsk Tsk Tsk... Shakes finger ☝🏼 😔 playing with fire. Hurt people hurt people. It true. Angry people hurt angry people. That's also true. We aren't perfect. Sometimes we need to be asshole to get a point across.

Staying in the negative...

That's not productive. I craw out of that shit every time. Sometimes it not easy. It's okay, we aren't perfect but demons or inner demons can go away just like your asshole neighbor... If you kill them 🤣 rofl no, please don't kill anyone. It's amount of strength and fearlessness that carries you out of that 🕳 hole. Your spiritual team will carry you out and you'll be happier. Healing begins, you learn and you move on. Hopefully fast.

Erik hates bullies. Like me I was fucked with the exact same way but I had it worse. I can write a novel about being used and emotionally abused. It's for the most part in the past. Erik and I are working through them. Just a little at a time. It took about 5 years to recover from someone who had "took advantage" of me. It fucked me up so bad I would go all PTSD. I'm not even joking. It's not at all funny. I was haunted for a long long long ass time. For some reason I'm "friends" with this piece of shit 🤷🏼‍♀️.

You have to have the good and the bad.

Take the bad with the good and so on... If there is Satan, there is God. It only makes sense. You. Can't be that stupid and assume there is just one and not the other. That's not thinking with your head. I've done so many drugs I'm surprised I haven't lost enough brain cells. I was stupid to think otherwise. Derp deep derp ... 🤤 Can I tend the rabbits George? Okay 😂 lol enough. I know I can be a little toooooo honest. I'll stop before God gives me a lecture. I'll be good. 😂 I promise.

Saying I Hope they_________. Is just as bad as cursing someone. I'm guilty of it. We are all guilty of it... And when did "karma" knock on YOUR door, Hmmm?! 🤣 Years ago, I once "stole" someone's phone and guess what. My phone got stolen the EXACT SAME WAY. What a bitch, right? Lmfao I learned my lesson about taking things from an individual. I've not done it since. When it happened I laughed my ass off instead of crying. It was well deserved. I still 😂 laugh about and use it as an example for why I need to not take people's stuff. I only shoplift necessities like food or tampons no stupid shit. Yeah it's just as bad but it's a profit loss write off. Last time I checked. Walmart is an evil corporation. Just sayin. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't like doing it because of my anxiety but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Devil Worship and "working" with demons...

Oh boy. Not good. Just not good. I would never be friends with someone who does it. If you do by chance, unfollow me or whatever. It would be a damn shame. I will not associate with that kind of crowd. I'm much better than that and so is everyone else. If you do spirit work please please please find yourself something to believe in. It doesn't have to be God but now I can't deny since my experience, I realized this is true. I wasn't being careful in the past by protecting myself. Protection and shielding and prayer (spells) should be in everyone's arsenal.

When you are stuck.... I mean really stuck. Like you harm yourself, feel suicidal, don't socialize at all, very very depressed. You have to chase those demons away and get out of that intense fear or intense anger. The more you give it your attention, the more you suffer and the more they hurt you. And remember hurt people hurt people. "Karma" is real and it will bite the guilty. Those that hurt others without just cause. God doesn't judge but he is in charge of delivering "karma" and he will put you in your place. I promise you. I've learned a lot. Keep love in your hearts and listen to it but don't let someone walk all over you. Cut those cords. Don't be like me and get in to fights. 🤣 Lmao funny... Because I need anger management. Another thing Erik and I need to uuuhhh..."fix" ❤️ 😂.

😘 💞 💕 ❤️ Alright kids, I love you!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com.

Submit a Twin Flame reading for free at TwinFlameMedium.Com and I provide detailed and lengthy readings starting at $5 per question at Store.TwinFlameMedium.Com

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram  YouTube

[mutantrenegade]

Just wanted to take a quick sec and add to this that like, this is a really great example of what happens when these social media algorithms main goal is to get you to stay on the site no matter what.

Now i’m going to give most major social media sites the benefit of a doubt and assume they aren’t actively trying to make people neo nazis, but i’m also gonna say they don’t care about banning them.

Because most people aren’t gonna be exposed to straight up neo nazi call to violence tiktok or facebook or twitter or whatever. Most people on the app are gonna see a bunch of cooking hacks and dancing. The sort of left v right war you see online is honestly only a small percentage of people that just happen to be getting better at organizing. So social media isn’t really gonna give a shit if a couple thousand users leave the platform due to neo nazis harassing them because they already have millions of users.

The other part of this is that a site like tiktok can also just, make sure the algorithm keeps these sides apart. If it takes the neo nazis and puts them waaaaaaaay over here and then the trans/lgbt/poc/etc people and keeps em waaaaaaaay over there, both sides stay on the app without interacting with each other except for a few flair ups where all they gotta do is just ban a few instigators and move on.

So these algorithms aren’t looking at a new user and thinking “well gosh we need to show this person some transphobic content so we can get them down the path to becoming a neo nazi” it’s thinking “alright let’s throw a bunch of shit at the wall and oh, they seem to like the transphobia content soo... well the transphobes also like homophobia, sexism, anti-semetism soo... let’s just throw that at them as well, if it keeps em on the app and watching ads...” It just sees these as content categories to keep you #Engaged™ and as long as no one makes a big fuss over it they keep making money.

Like with YouTube demonetizing LGBT content, I honestly doubt that YouTube is sitting there like “yeah fuck the LGBTQ+ community we wanna be a hate site!” Why would they? The LGBTQ+ community is a marketable demographic and some of their biggest creators were LGBT (Shane, James Charles, Jeffrie Star, yes i know all of these people are shitty people but they made da big bucks so not YouTube’s problem)

The problem was that shitty people with too much time on their hands were looking at LGBT content and flagging it as adult so the algorithm was like “alright guess lgbt is nsfw) And then youtube looks at that and said “...you know what, it makes it easier to market ourselves in less LGBT friendly places since it already hides their content from recommendations and these creators can do shit like patreon so.... whatever”

Which is why i kinda hate it when people claim that like google or youtube or tiktok are being racist/homophobic/sexist/etc. We are talking about machine learning here, it just sees all this as Content™. They aren’t doing this on purpose because they are horrible bigots, it’s just that they aren’t preventing it from happening.

And there lies the issue, no one stops them from acting this way. No one really regulates how these systems work and what they recommend or hide. And i’m not saying that any opinion I disagree with is bad and dangerous, i don’t give a fuck if youtube shows people videos that say capitalism is good actually or maybe we don’t really want health care. I just want them to be help accountable when their content is directly harmful. When a site like tiktok or facebook can speed people along into neo nazi groups or conspiracy theories there needs to be someone who steps in and says “hey you are kinda encouraging these harmful behaviors and you need to do something about it” These hate speech policies need to be enforced beyond making it so you can’t say Suicide in a tiktok.

Idk how to end this so i’m just gonna say stand up for these communities and demand these sites actually fucking do something real about hate speech,

this is really important so i’m posting it here because it’ll probably get removed and the original poster may be banned, but this is literal documentation and proof that terfs and transphobes are directly connected to the far-right and have roots in racism, homophobia, misogyny, and antisemitism. it really is all part of the same oppressive system, so there is no disconnecting transphobia from conservatism. there is no such thing as a progressive transphobe as much as they may want you to believe. it has nothing to do with biology or protecting women or children, none of it is founded in science or logic, it is purely hatred and and attempt to justify bigotry.

[douxreviews]

Manifest - ‘Cleared for Approach’ Review

Zeke: "Am I dead?" Michaela: "No, but that would be easier to explain."

In this installment, we learn more about the mysterious Zeke, Zeke makes significant progress on his road to recovery, Ben and Grace make significant progress toward rebuilding their family relationships, and the showrunners make their first significant mis-step.

While Ben and Grace take Cal home from the cabin, Michaela stays with Zeke to help him process what happened to him.  They get a mutual calling, and in following it with him Michaela learns that she and Zeke have a lot in common: both are dealing with guilt and self-loathing because both of them caused the death of someone near to them.  It is, of course, no coincidence that he was drawn to Michaela, the one person on the 828 manifest who really knows what he's going through.

On their way home, Ben, Grace, and Cal see a billboard put up by 828DemandtheTruth.com, a conspiracy-theory website.  Once they get home, someone throws a brick through their front window, spray-paints an X on their front door, and yells "Freaks!" before driving off.

Jared and the NYPD trace the spray-paint can to a guy named Cory Weber, who runs the conspiracy-theory website.  He denies everything, of course, and has enough of an alibi that the NYPD can't work up enough probable cause to charge him.  A frustrated Ben does something very un-Ben like, going to Weber's place of business to confront him.  When Weber mutters a not-very-plausibly-deniable threat against Cal, Ben comes very close to hauling off and hitting him--thereby getting himself arrested and giving the conspiracy theorists some juicy video for their website.

Ben did do one smart thing, though.  When they changed Zeke's bandages, he pocketed the old dressing.  Saanvi draws a blood sample from that and determines that Zeke has the same protein in his blood that the 828 passengers all have in theirs.  Whatever it was that flung him forward in time was the same phenomenon that Flight 828 encountered.

"828" Watch

The arc number can be seen on the 828DemandtheTruth.com billboard and website, and on the cover of the December '17 issue of Celebrity Dossier.

Also on the manifest...

Zeke confesses to Michaela that he's an alcoholic, attends AA meetings, and went on his hike because he's "stuck on Step Five."

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in Akron, Ohio in 1935.  Its approach to attaining sobriety, the "Twelve Steps," has helped millions of people, and has successfully been adapted to treat other addictions and behavioral disorders.  Though non-denominational, the Twelve Step approach is definitely faith-based, stressing reliance on a "higher power."

The scene where Ben, Grace, and Cal encounter the 828DemandtheTruth.com billboard was filmed at the intersection of Springfield Boulevard and Kingsbury Avenue in Queens.  The Stones are driving northbound on Springfield.  The bridge that the billboard is on was built in 1904 as part of the Vanderbilt Motor Parkway, a private road constructed by William K. Vanderbilt II leading to his wealthy family's Long Island estate, and on which he could indulge his passion for fast driving untroubled by the risk of traffic tickets.  It is now a hiking trail.

I couldn't find a precise figure for how much it would cost to rent a billboard that size in New York City, but my best guess is that it would be in the high four figures for a 4-week rental, and we get the impression from the show that there's more than one such billboard.

In case you were wondering, if you type 828DemandtheTruth.com into your browser's address bar, all you'll get is a 404 error.  The showrunners missed an opportunity there.

According to Olive's Mythology textbook, the peacock which Ben had a vision of a few episodes ago is a symbol of immortality and the Resurrection.

Turns out that Olive has known all about the callings for weeks because Cal told her.  There are no secrets between twins.

Whoever did the layout and graphics on that magazine cover needs a refresher course in aircraft recognition.  Flight 828 was a 737, not a 747.

Quotes

Ben: ". . . find out as many details as you can about what happened to him. Look for specific times, locations--" Michaela: "Oh, you mean like a detective?"

Grace: "Don't you ever take a vacation?" Saanvi: "Well, I went to Jamaica." I like Saanvi when she gets snarky.

Conclusion

The story arc with Zeke and Michaela was up to the show's usual standards, as were the scenes with Ben, Grace, Olive, and Cal working through their various issues and rebuilding their family relationships.  Cory Weber and 828DemandtheTruth.com, however, not so much.  The showrunners took a good idea and flubbed the execution.

It's been hinted in past episodes that some people view the 828ers with fear and suspicion; that's certainly believable.  It's also believable that the fear and suspicion would ramp up after a very messed-up Captain Daly stole an airplane and flew himself and Fiona Clarke into the center of a storm cell two episodes ago.  It's certainly plausible that someone who was wound up about 828 conspiracies would open a website (and, probably, a YouTube channel and a Twitter feed) and attract a following.  It's a little implausible that such a group could grow in such a short time to the point of being well-funded enough to rent billboards all over town (see the note on billboard rental rates above).  It's a lot implausible that such a well-funded group would then devote itself to tactics as mundane as throwing bricks through people's windows and tagging front doors with spray paint.  What's next after that, toilet-papering the trees in passengers' front yards? sternly-worded letters to the editor? Facebook memes?  And if that's not amateur enough, they commit these dastardly deeds in broad daylight.  I mean, c'mon, guys, ever heard of the cover of darkness?

Far from being a diabolical mastermind in the same league as The Major, chief conspiracy-monger Cory Weber is every bit as pathetic as his brick-throwing minions.  He's a stock cardboard villain from a Saturday morning cartoon that wouldn't last more than a half hour if he were up against four teenagers and an anthropomorphic Great Dane.

Two and a half out of four conspiracy theories.

Baby M knows that it's not really a conspiracy--that's just what they want us to think!