#this basically means they only half understand what everyone else is saying and can't actually talk themself

[arolesbianism]

I hand you a doodle and then go back to dying of the plague

[nymph-ette111]

Hello!

Could you do how Jeff, EJ, Toby and Ben (all separated) would react to Y/N being uncomfortable because of stretch marks on the thighs (or other parts of the body)?? Like what would they do or say about it

Sorry if it was a very long request or something ❤

That's it, have a great day/night!!

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS/JEFFREY BEING AN ACTUAL DICK, MENTIONS OF STRETCH MARKS

AUTHOR'S NOTE; not very proud of this tbh... anyways I didn't really get the "uncomfortable" part so I wrote it as in "insecure" I hope this is what you had in mind :( ALSO I DON'T HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT GUYS YOU CAN ASK FOR AS MANY AS YOU'D LIKE IN ONE REQUEST!!

JEFFREY;

-not even going to attempt and sugarcoat this section... or any future headcanons that include Jeff because this man is genuinely the biggest asshole to have ever assholed on the planet.

-he doesn't even care if you're his partner, bro is actually ruthless.

-he's made you cry countless of times before.

-i mean... everyone agrees he isn't the greatest boyfriend, especially in terms of just... caring for his lover. like this man can't even do the bare minimum in a relationship.

-if he ever catches you staring at your body in the mirror for long periods of time, he'll straight up ask you.

"the fuck is wrong with you?"

-Jeff is still an intelligent man, he catches on quite quickly.

-he knew you were insecure about something, you wouldn't just sulk at the mirror for like 15 minutes straight for no reason.

-once you tell him what's wrong he kind of just... belittles you?

-that sounds wrong I KNOW. LET ME EXPLAIN.

-it's just that he doesn't understand why you're insecure about some stretch marks on your body.

-he acts like insecurities are useless bullshit as if he doesn't fake his own confidence.

-okay you fucking hypocrite.

-yeah anyways in terms of "comforting" you, said in quotation marks because Jeffrey Woods and comfort in the same sentence is actually diabolical. basically his way of making you feel better about it even if he thinks it's stupid, he forces you to show them to everyone.

-yep. usually when your partner is upset about something physically, you try to make them view said thing in a positive light, and THEN you try to encourage them to try and show it off and be confident about it. right?

-no, Jeff goes straight to the point whether you agree or not. stretch marks on your thighs and legs? you WILL be wearing that short dress. stretch marks on your arms? WEAR that short sleeve top. stretch marks on your stomach? WEAR THAT TANK TO—

-he intends good I swear he's just very mean about it.

-also when other creeps hit on you (specifically BEN) he gets mad like he wasn't the one who threw away half of your closet and forced you to wear something revealing...

-if you sit him down for a serious talk about how this doesn't help with anything and it only makes you even more uncomfortable he might mellow shit down and stop with this whole showing off your body to feel less insecure situation.

-he'll understand but don't expect him to do anything else after that because he claims that "it's not my fuckin' problem... deal with that shit yourself then"

-he is a little pissy about it because he thought he was genuinely helping you.

-having the audacity to get mad when an insufficient way of overcoming your insecurities doesn't work? okay bro.

-anyways I love him guys please request more for this goober.

EYELESS JACK;

-like mentioned in the previous post, Jack never judges others for the way they look physically.

-even when he was normal, he never saw the point in it. that's just the way your body is. why should he make you feel bad about it when you can't do anything to change it? even towards himself. before specific events took place, when he was just a normal college student he saw himself as average looking and didn't have a problem with it and never made an effort to try and "look better"

-but after the whole... failed cult sacrifice it earned him this villain complex mindset.

-he sees himself as an unlovable monstrosity, the fact that you were willing to be near this guy at all is mind-blowing to him.

-naturally, Jack views you as way out of his league. he believes that he doesn't deserve you.

-so, seeing you? the one who changed his life and dragged him out of the hell hole that is his mind, unsatisfied with the way your body looks because of some stretch marks?

-bro is genuinely offended. you're fucking ethereal, you're an angel from above, why can't you see that?

-but seeing you view that part of your body as something bad, he can't help but feel like you're disgusted with his too.

-for context, Jack also has stretch marks scattered all over his body. you don't like yours equals you don't like his. that's his logic.

-he wouldn't say it out loud though, of course not. he knows that it's wrong. his thoughts are just a way to bring him down and make him even more miserable, he just can't help but find any opportunity to convince his brain that he is unlovable.

-i think it's best to not talk about it Infront of him.

-he still thinks you're beautiful though, he's just overthinking :(

TOBY;

-quite similar to Jack, doesn't understand why you view them in such a negative light. he is genuinely borderline obsessed with you. everything... I mean EVERYTHING is perfect in his eyes. yes, including the stretch marks. yes, including the freckle on your left thigh because he is just that observant.

-this man is DETERMINED to make you feel better, he'd do anything to make you see yourself the way he does. quite aggressive with it too. you ARE pretty. stretch marks or not.

-all of the sudden, every single time you stop by a mirror to over-analyse your stretch marks, you're dragged away by Toby to talk about the nice weather outside (anyone who dares to step a foot outside will have to face the consequences of a fucking heatstroke)

-all of the sudden, he starts littering more gentle, almost ghost-like kisses all over your thighs once you two are in the safety of your rooms. it wasn't some out of the ordinary with Toby, he's always had a thing for showing his affection towards you physically. it just stepped up a notch, and the kisses are now directed towards those specific areas.

-he'll do anything to prove to you that your stretch marks are simply a part of you and your body. and he fucking loves it.

-if you don't start loving your stretch marks after all that treatment Toby is giving... the problem is you. mans is actually dedicated.

BEN;

-was never good with comforting people, especially someone he cares about. he is used to always brushing his feelings away, never really confronting himself about shit. but unlike Jeff, he actually tries for you.

-I'll be honest... he probably never knew stretch marks even existed.

-once you told him what you were so upset about, he legitimately went "the fuck is that?"

-he actually has no filter, this guy speaks before he thinks.

-bet you he was typing away on his keyboard too, barely paying any attention to your little rant.

-when you realize his half-assed responses were because he wasn't even listening, you genuinely consider plugging off that ancient ass computer just to get some of his attention.

-he feels bad after that though, he'd attempt, keyword attempt to try and make you feel better.

-it probably doesn't work but you sort of let it him off the hook for it. he doesn't even know what a stretch mark looks like, he is basically trying to convince you that something he doesn't even know and has never seen in his life before is beautiful.

-the attempt is appreciated though, it's genuine enough.

[pagodazz]

Emh fans when they're asked to stop sexualizing Evan Jennings and his characters because it makes him and his wife uncomfortable:

hope y'all are so happy with yourself for going against his wishes and being fucking freaks to him. You're all why he's barely online anymore. you cannot behave and you cannot be normal and you all have ruined what could be a very fun fandom.

Everyone in this fandom sees Evan as a piece of meat basically, you all only care about his character because Evan is a good looking guy. I mean!! let's be real here!!! let me quiz you on the lore!!! let me see just how fucking much you know about ALL the characters. let me see how much you ACTUALLY give a shit. Because all any of you do is post about how attractive you find Evan/habit and it's honestly so annoying.

I'm not saying you can't compliment him??? or appreciate his looks?? but drawing him in sexually compromising positions, writing in great detail about what you want him to do to you (PUBLICLY. no one gives a SHIT what you fucking do in private.) Or you're fucking mixing up habit and Evan, and just acting like you know his story when CLEARLY the most of you have watched habit compilations on YouTube and NOTHING else.

You cannot even convince me otherwise because I deal with people coming in my comments all the time asking about BASIC INFORMATION. like IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE PRINCETON TAPES ????? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK????? YOU NEED THAT FOR THE SERIES. YOU CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HALF THE THINGS WITHOUT IT???????

This isn't saying you can't write fanfiction or shit like that this is JUST SAYING BE RESPECTFUL?????? these slenderverse actors ARE NOT A LIST CELEBRITIES. they're not like fucking Oscar Isaac or whoever people are obsessed with right now. THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS. THIS IS NICHE. THIS IS NOT POPULAR MEDIA 😭😭😭😭

Emh literally made NO money from their series, they didn't create it to gain anything like that. they created something fun and NOW YOU ALL ARE THE REASON THEY HAVE NO PART IN THIS FANDOM ANYMORE.

you robbed them of being able to love their creation and I hope you're all happy about that honestly because it seems like this fandom is only gonna get worse in this area. and I'm deeply disappointed.

edit: I would like to add one thing, Vincent caffarello had to deal with situations of extreme sexualization as well, and his got to the point to where he had to leave. Vinnie used to be very involved with the fandom, he even used to read fanfic which he had to stop doing because people would be writing characters to SEXUALLY ASSAULT HIM or others and he just couldn't continue to read things like that. He delt with minors sending him explicit photos and messages and that's literally all kinds of FUCKED UP. He did NOT want to be involved with that stuff.

It's like when Evan had someone impersonate him to try to get with minors. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT OBJECTS FOR YOU TO SEEK OUT PLEASURE WITH. THEY ARE PEOPLE.

they are HUMAN.

if they were women?? would you be doing this as much??? or would you realize how messed up it really is.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

What are your thoughts on vampires in the Harry Potter universe? The little we know suggests that vampires are mortal and can either be born or turned. Full-blooded vampires appear capable of passing down their traits genetically, creating half-vampires, or turning wizards into vampires. How do you think the concept of vampires fits into wizarding society?

Hello 👋

Vampires are a weird one. We're told so very little about them, and they seem more like an afterthought rather than fully-fledged beings. That in itself actually tells us something important — that vampires are kinda rare and not beings you will just stumble upon.

Vampires as Beings

As you mentioned, vampires in HP are capable of reproduction (Lorcan d'Eath who is a half-vampire), this to me suggests they are not only mortal, but that they can't actually turn other humans into vampires. I mean, if they could, they wouldn't need to reproduce. Also, the fact they are mortal (albeit with even longer lifespans than wizards) suggests they are alive and not undead as vampires are usually portrayed.

So basically, long-living but not immortal bloodsuckers that can't actually turn via a bite. The fact they can't turn humans actually makes how they are treated by wizards make much more sense, so that's what I chose to believe. Further quotes and explanations in the next section. It's under a cut because it got long:

Vampires in Wizarding Society

So how are vampires seen in the wizarding world?

I copied all the quotes from the books relevant to this to try and create a cohesive understanding of wizards' treatment of vampires and the interactions between wizards and vampires.

“Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin’ outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience. ... They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o’ trouble with a hag — never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject — now, where’s me umbrella?”

[...]

The class everyone had really been looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Quirrell’s lessons turned out to be a bit of a joke. His classroom smelled strongly of garlic, which everyone said was to ward off a vampire he’d met in Romania and was afraid would be coming back to get him one of these days.

(PS)

Vampires seem to live in secluded societies of their own, completely separate from wizards. Such vampire communities exist in Romania and in the Black Forest in Germany. In general, it seems vampires rarely leave their own communities and that they don't often foray into wizard spaces. Vampires are spoken of as cool mysterious beings because most wizards have never met a vampire in their life.

So vampires, unlike werewolves, are treated more as a dangerous curiosity rather than a physical threat (especially in the UK where there don't seem to be any major vampire communities).

That being said, wizards do treat vampires as dangerous. It seems reasonable to them to be traumatized by vampires.

Remember I mentioned I don't think HP vampires can turn with a bite? The whole thing with Quirrell is a bit of a proof of that. He was supposedly terrorized by vampires, that was everyone's assumption, so, they would then assume he was bitten and had his blood drunk, I mean, what else would vampires do to terrify him so much? But no one is concerned Quirrell is then a vampire even if it's logical to think he was bitten.

My conclusion from this is that vampires bite for food and the victim isn't turned. I assume most bite victims just die of blood loss, hence the danger factor. The fact vampires can't turn others is a major factor in why they seem to be treated with slightly more respect than werewolves.

I mean, an international singer (Lorcan d'Eath) can be a known part vampire and no one has a problem with it. There seem to be no rules against vampire employment or ownership of homes the way there are against werewolves. And I think this is because they are considered beings and not a disease the way Lycanthorpy is.

Harry looked into the shadowed eyes of Sirius Black, the only part of the sunken face that seemed alive. Harry had never met a vampire, but he had seen pictures of them in his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, and Black, with his waxy white skin, looked just like one.

(PoA)

Harry just explains here the vampire look and I wanted to mention it. The fact Sirius is said to look like a vampire (and some descriptions from HBP) suggests vampires in the DADA books and in wizards' minds are, in general, hot.

This quote by Dean and some stuff I'll mention later:

“Wonder what they’ll give us next year?” said Seamus Finnigan gloomily. “Maybe a vampire,” suggested Dean Thomas hopefully.

(PoA)

Suggests vampires are seen as hot, mysterious, and dangerous by wizards and there are most definitely erotic magical novels with vampire love interests. Basically, vampires are seen as sexy, dangerous, exotic, and mysterious by wizards who never met them (which is most of them).

Ron and Hermione were standing underneath it, examining a tray of blood-flavored lollipops. Harry sneaked up behind them. “Ugh, no, Harry won’t want one of those, they’re for vampires, I expect,” Hermione was saying.

(PoA)

This shows some of the vampires' better treatment from werewolves. Even though there aren't many vampires in the UK, Honeydukes has blood-flavoured candy for vampires. They are seen as respected enough beings to have their own candy lines that are sold in wizarding shops. I don't think any other magical creature can say the same.

I pull down about a hundred sacks of Galleons a year!” one of them shouted. “I’m a dragon killer for the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.” “No, you’re not!” yelled his friend. “You’re a dishwasher at the Leaky Cauldron. ... but I’m a vampire hunter, I’ve killed about ninety so far — ”

[...]

“That woman’s got it in for the Ministry of Magic!” said Percy furiously. “Last week she was saying we’re wasting our time quibbling about cauldron thickness, when we should be stamping out vampires! As if it wasn’t specifically stated in paragraph twelve of the Guidelines for the Treatment of Non-Wizard Part-Humans — ”

(GoF)

But they still are seen as "dark dangerous magical creatures" by some of wizard society. A wizard claims (he's 100% lying) to be a vampire hunter, so I assume some think that's something that should be done.

Even though Percy mentions vampire hunting is illegal according to the Guidelines for the Treatment of Non-Wizard Part-Humans. So while some wizards think vampires should be hunted down (like some people think werewolves should be hunted down) they are treated as human and therefore are protected by wizarding law, unlike werewolves who are discriminated against legally to a much worse degree.

“Harry, I’d like you to meet Eldred Worple, an old student of mine, author of Blood Brothers: My Life Amongst the Vampires — and, of course, his friend Sanguini.” Worple, who was a small, stout, bespectacled man, grabbed Harry’s hand and shook it enthusiastically; the vampire Sanguini, who was tall and emaciated with dark shadows under his eyes, merely nodded. He looked rather bored. A gaggle of girls was standing close to him, looking curious and excited.

[...]

“I would be delighted to write it myself — people are craving to know more about you, dear boy, craving! If you were prepared to grant me a few interviews, say in four- or five-hour sessions, why, we could have the book finished within months. And all with very little effort on your part, I assure you — ask Sanguini here if it isn’t quite — Sanguini, stay here,” added Worple, suddenly stern, for the vampire had been edging toward the nearby group of girls, a rather hungry look in his eye. “Here, have a pasty,” said Worple, seizing one from a passing elf and stuffing it into Sanguini’s hand before turning his attention back to Harry.

(HBP)

The final quote I want to bring up is the only vampire we ever see in the HP books. Sanguini is described exactly like Sirius is in PoA and how vampires are shown in DADA books, so there is some truth to these descriptions (or Worple found himself the perfect poster vampire to walk around with). The gaggle of giggling girls is also noteworthy as it adds to the idea that wizards see vampires as sexy, mysterious, and dangerous in a good way.

The fact both Worple and Lockhart find popularity and success with their books about vampire life, again shows wizards are curious and interested in reading about these mysterious beings called vampires. I'm sure there is a lot of trashy fiction dedicated to them because of that.

Sanguini, though, seems more interested in the girls' blood than anything. Like, it seems he doesn't mind drinking the blood from a bunch of random school girls, but it's hard to say if it's a vampire issue or that Sanguini personally just doesn't give a shit (Harry does mention he looks bored).

I find it odd how Worple talks to him like a dog, though. It shows again, wizards' sense of superiority. Even though they treat vampires like curiosities (which is better than most creatures get) they still don't see them as equal even if they are in the camp that doesn't want to hunt them down.

What's more surprising is that Sanguini listens. It's possible Sanguini and Worple are fucking and they are into that sort of thing, and that's my personal headcanon for it. Sanguini was there as Worple's secret date and nothing could convince me otherwise.

[qqueenofhades]

I frankly sometimes feel like social media has ultimately given a lot of people the illusion of power, while also causing them to become corrupted in a similar way to traditional forms of power, only without any actual power that goes with it. The similarities in their behavior to the latter is disturbing as hell, ESPECIALLY given the horrid behavior of online types the past few months.

I really can't emphasize enough how much of a constructed and artificial environment social media is, especially these days, and especially the Social Media Platform Formerly Known as Twitter, which is still the main avenue by which a lot of people attempt to "do" social justice. Once upon a time, Twitter was a moderately beneficial public communication service because everyone and God was on it and you could therefore get communiques directly from the source, there was a blue-check verification service that actually helped you understand who was real and who was not, and while there were serious and ongoing flaws such as there is when useful public discourse is sacrificed on the Great Altar of Profit, there was at least some attempt to monitor or ban Nazis, white supremacists, bad actors, and eventually Trump himself. All of that changed and/or was directly destroyed when Apartheid Clyde took over and turned it into a revenue-generating service for Russian propaganda, alt-right cranks, bots, and the rest of the Elon Fanclub willing to pay $8 for a meaningless blue checkmark, while trashing the site's guardrails and any other useful features. It basically exists for Elon to fanboy Putin, Trump, white supremacy, his 4chan trolls, and anything else that makes his money (while Mr. Free Speech Absolutist arbitrarily bans anyone who hurts his man-child fee-fees). This is not an unbiased, neutral, or constructive environment to start with. You don't have any certainty about who you're interacting with or who is amplifying your messages, and only a hardcore-radicalized (of whatever persuasion) base of human users remain, while a lot of casual users have left.

As such, if you're basing anything (hypothesis, claim, source, evidence, opinion) on "what everyone on Twitter thinks," that is fatally flawed data to start with. Even at the peak of its popularity, something like 24% of all American adults regularly used Twitter. That still means 76% of the country who doesn't (and the number is larger now as Chucklefuck McGee has continued driving it into the ground). If you're forming your ideas or looking for "what America thinks" just by quoting or relying on the tweets of people who already agree with you, you've done basically nothing and you certainly haven't proved it, you've stunted your own critical thinking skills, and you are selecting from a data source that is already fatally poisoned and limited in any number of ways. Adding to the echo chamber of similar opinions on Twitter is not going to actually influence public policy or make lasting change. Yes, the interns and/or public relations staff of the public figures still on there will probably check the feed every so often and make note of things that come up, but couching it as mindless vitriolic abuse and/or demonstrably nonsensical things is not going to get back to their boss. It will just be ignored and/or given less weight in the limited space available for things that are deemed important enough to actually follow up on/make policy around.

Also, a lot of people saw Trump tweeting insane things at 3am for four years, and somehow decided that was actually how US/American presidential and governmental policy was made, rather than that he was a fucking narcissistic-personality-disorder psychopathic lunatic. But uh, and it should go without saying, it didn't work. Just because Trump posted something absolutely unhinged and announced it was now policy, that doesn't mean it was. Half the time he didn't even do so much as issue an executive order, those can be and regularly are challenged in courts, and so forth, because despite all its flaws, America is not an absolute monarchy where the king can rule by fiat and have it totally done, no questions, the end. That's also why Trump's second term would be even more dangerous than his first. In his first, he was flailing around and yelling on Twitter and not really paying attention to anything. In his second, the administration will be staffed top to bottom with dedicated fascists like the Heritage Foundation's Project 2025 people, who have spent the last four years brooding on revenge and drawing up detailed plans to actually co-opt and suborn all the levers, checks, balances, controls, and functions of government directly to Trump's personal will (and/or the outrageously evil people pulling strings behind the scenes, because Trump is now basically a gibbering orange vegetable and the media is still far too beholden to the Biden Old!!! narrative to accurately report this).

In short, another Trump term (God fucking forbid) would be run by the kind of methodical and careful evildoers who know that policy isn't made by tweet, and would act accordingly. That would be much, much harder to remove, counteract, or fix, it would almost certainly lead to the end of American democracy at least for most of our lifetimes, and the repercussions of that would be absolutely terrible. But because we still have people who act like Trump is somehow a preferable option, who think that it's bad that Biden is trying to work through established and long-term channels to make sustainable policy and not just get short-term chuckles from an internet dopamine approval rush, that is the risk we are running from now until November 2024. After that, either way, we'll know for sure: we'll finally have a measure of safety, or we will be comprehensively fucked for generations. We all have the power to influence which of those outcomes come to pass. I suggest we use it.

[vaguely-concerned]

Thoughts upon finishing Master and Apprentice! A good double read with Padawan; the ending of that leaving Obi-Wan slightly hopeful about his relationship to Qui-Gon makes for a very sad yet hilarious ‘Local Padawan loses last little bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of vibe to the beginning of this one, which is set one (1) year later and Obi-Wan is So Done with Qui-Gon’s whole deal by this point (correctly btw). Also if you can’t tell already I will not be objective or free from bias in this because I love Obi-Wan so much and some of the stuff Qui-Gon pulled made me incandescent with rage on his behalf <3 let’s go

- 'oh obi-wan, you're so mature for your age, I keep forgetting you're only seventeen years old,' qui-gon says, word for word, repeatedly, in master and apprentice, apparently willfully deaf to the industrial-sized warning bells about their relationship dynamic that should probably be setting off in his head. qui-gon believes in vibing with the living force and being in the moment right up until the moment requires him to pay attention to the kid he's raising for more than oh, one and a half minutes of self-effacing inner monologue and then he's like 'well unfortunately there is simply no time for that right now there are prophecies to be pondered'. (the fact that the admission that obi-wan has essentially been left to raise himself emotionally and the resigned reframing of that as 'and maybe that is a good thing!' is part of the olive branch they extend to each other towards the end... will my sadness never end)

- most of all it's so heartbreaking to me that qui-gon seemingly never understands just how much obi-wan as a person is rooted deeply in shame. I don't think that's a feeling that's particularly prevalent in qui-gon's own inner world so he doesn't recognize how central it is in obi-wan's psychology and completely misunderstands and misaligns with him again and again and again and then gets annoyed with obi-wan for that, thus making the shame even deeper. doubly painful because he does see the way rael lives so much of his life out of shame now and feels sad about it, but can't see the way he's contributing to obi-wan doing so. this is what fucks me up so bad about the generational trauma in star wars -- no one here meant to be cruel. for all his faults I do think qui-gon does love obi-wan and doesn't mean to hurt him. but the original sin of the prequels as far as I'm concerned is qui-gon tenderly drying away obi-wan's tears as he's dying even while completely failing to see him, his eyes too fixed on anakin's future to actually be with obi-wan, who's there right now and needs him.

these are simply very different people trying and failing to understand each other, and the harm that can still happen in that… 'if you love me, you don't love me in a way I understand', all the way through the disaster line, even when the love is there, it is there, that’s what hurts the most, it just doesn’t reach where it’s needed, there’s a connection that doesn’t happen. (ironically I think ahsoka doesn't doubt that anakin loves her, it's just uh everything else that went down. so y'know family curse broken! new even more fucked up curse achieved now with more child murder. I mean there already was some child murder in this family but anakin upped the game exponentially) 

- a lil guy who's basically tarzan except the gorillas are replaced with protocol droids and then he becomes a jewel thief is one of the funniest star wars concepts I've ever heard and I hope pax and rahara get to pop up in more star wars media, they’re great fun. (also an idea I think would be super fun to make a character/campaign around in Edge of the Empire or something, everyone playing different droids and then one person being robo-parented lol) 

- was not prepared to have rael posit a theory of what essentially seems to be the jedi version of predestination in his despair, but I do love to see it haha. especially interesting since he, qui-gon and dooku must be among the people alive who've studied the prophecies in most depth, and they've all reached different conclusions -- dooku decides to join the war of light and dark on the side of dark for some reason, qui-gon (possibly the stubbornest fucker the jedi order ever produced) 'turns towards the light not to win some great cosmic game, but because it is the light', and rael in the middle falls into the depressed apathy of 'it doesn't matter what we do here, the outcome is already decided; for there to be true balance there has to be as much dark as light in the world so we're fucked'. but in the end he does take qui-gon's words to heart and turns towards the light rather than accepting dooku's offer, even if he might not believe it makes a difference in the long run. man I love rael. hobo-looking sonofabitch living in a castle for eight years will just suddenly fling out some deep jedi theology huh

- master rael 'I'm gonna make up for the big terrible mistake I made on accident by making an even bigger more premeditated mistake on purpose' averross (affectionate)

- the added layer to dooku’s fascination with prophecy after reading dooku: jedi lost — that his best friend in the world was a seer who couldn’t turn it off and it destroyed him……….. dooku you’re not getting him back if you just understand what he saw you know that right

- the more I read of master and apprentice the more I realize that the reason yoda and qui-gon don't get along is that they're two of the judgiest bitches the jedi order ever produced. They’re like two cats scowling judgmentally at each other from opposite sides of the room pretending to live and let live while going ‘you’re wrong tho’ internally. 

- I dunk on him constantly (not entirely without affection, however grudging), but Qui-Gon is genuinely a really interesting character. He’s so… he’s so. He’s infuriating but he’s infuriating in an equidistant sort of way. You feel me. He’s pissing everyone off equally and he just doesn’t care because again, he’s the stubbornest judgiest bitch around and thinks he’s right all the time. I would be free to just enjoy his ornery ‘no actually I’m right about this’ ass and the chaos he wreaks so much more if Obi-Wan didn’t have to live with the emotional consequences of it lol. 

- poor rael closing in on fifty with his puriteen middle-aged little brother clutching pearls about his getting laid once in a blue moon fhdskjahfas. again a really interesting insight into different ways of interpreting the jedi code, though, I love seeing the jedi not be an ideological monolith. to be fair to rael, having sex sometimes does seem to be the indulgence he has that causes the least conflict with his principles or loyalties so you know what honestly force speed you my friend why not. (and then there's qui-gon 'noooo sex is only okay if you're In Love (implied: like I was)!!!' jinn lmao. I wonder what he'd think of anakin and padme's relationship, would that pass the 'being sufficiently purely in love' test for him) I do like how consistently it’s shown that rael doesn’t mean to be cruel or unkind in anything he says, he always notices something landing too close to home and then pulls carefully back from it instead of pushing on. He seems to be the emotional intelligence powerhouse in this lineage (as long as he doesn’t have his feelings too tangled up in something, at least). 

Dooku: jedi lost also shows us that dooku absolutely knows rael is out there in the galaxy laying pipe and is, at worst, softly amused by it. So in this little family unit it’s only qui-gon losing his mind over it fjsdkafa I’m so used to having qui-gon be the wild card maverick compared to obi-wan ‘*in tears* but what are the RULES master’ kenobi, it’s so fucking funny that within the context that raised him he’s the stick in the mud 

I guess. the book also had a plot and it was not bad! some interesting insights about how the republic interacted with the big corporations and just how fucked everything already was by this point. I'm a pretty character-driven reader so that's what sticks with me for the most part

- obi-wan’s big teenage rebellion here being that sometimes. Occasionally. When he really loses his temper and gets hot under the collar. He’ll say something slightly passive aggressive out loud instead of keeping it contained inside his head. And qui-gon still can’t handle that gracefully AT ALL he snaps right back fdjskfhas. (I guess he also snitches on qui-gon to the council but well, you know, qui-gon was breaking republic law pretty brazenly at that point I think that moves beyond teenage angst and into ‘...master that’s a wholeass felony’ territory). Obi-Wan does go for a couple of low blows, but like. Nothing that’s not actually true, is the thing. And mostly he blames himself for not being good enough, because surely if he were qui gon wouldn’t treat him like this. Augh. hngh. Pain. suffering. 

- I am not one of the people who think everything would have automatically been just hunky-dory if only qui-gon lived and could have been anakin's master (in fact I would have given it a 50/50 chance of going exponentially worse way faster; being more similar as people is not always a guarantee that a relationship will go smoother and qui-gon is an incredibly difficult man to be close to for any length of time), but the way this book basically presents how the dynamic between dooku, rael and qui-gon could have gone on in the next generation too... it would have been incredibly unfair to obi-wan (as always I think that's just an universal constant lmao) but I think the odds of it turning out okay would have been better if you had him in the mix to run crisis control for both qui-gon and anakin, as he does for each of them individually as best he can anyway. at least he could have been free to be anakin's brother and friend purely in that scenario, without all the added mess of grief and having to take on a parental role there so young. he does basically fill that role in ahsoka's apprenticeship, after all.

- qui-gon finally hugging rael before he leaves the planet (and especially since when they were younger he wanted to, but held himself back from it)... that's still his big brother even with all the shit that's happened since ;_____; when someone teaches you how to swim (literally and symbolically) that shit stays with you I suppose

Relatedly: DOOKU getting hugged, and gladly. What the fuck. Are you all seeing this shit. I’m gonna cry or laugh I’m not sure which one why am I emotionally invested in the galaxy's most problematic grandpa now this sucks

[marshemillow]

phone addiction is actually a real specific issue that has been researched. I would recommend reading "How to Break Up With Your Phone" by Catherine Price. Not for the advice, obviously since you don't have that problem, but it's a very thorough resource that compiles many studies. This is at the beginning of the book before the guide. It's actually a genuine problem for many people gen x and younger that is specifically about the phone itself and not the content being consumed.

See? This is what I mean when I say I must be living in a different dimension than everyone else.

Okay so I looked up the book you recommended, and already I found some weird self-help guru red flags, but let's not even focus on that because science is science. I can't just get the book and read it right this second, but I did look up a synopsis and a few reviews. I didn't see any references to studies, but I did see people giving a rundown of the book's content and what to expect, and apparently the entire first half of it is just dedicated to fear mongering about how cell phones will ruin your life and destroy your attention span and your ability to feel accomplished and dopamine is addictive and social media makes you depressed and blah blah blah honestly Jesus Christ if you've already picked up the book, chances are you don't need it hammered home even harder that you're basically going to die early because you didn't delete the Facebook app off your phone. Why is the judgemental fear mongering necessary?

Here's the thing; Third spaces don't exist anymore. Roads are dangerous to play on and even ride your bike across, every public place requires you to pay for transportation to even get to, and even just STANDING is illegal (loitering). People have even mentioned that their phone addiction only got so bad after the pandemic started, meaning they're turning to their phone for any kind of social connection being stuck at home. I definitely understand, I used to have really severe agoraphobia I'm still recovering from. Without places outside to hang out with friends, especially if you don't have a driver's license or a job yet, talking to your friends online is the only option.

Does it rot your brain to talk to your friends? Why is it automatically assumed that screen friendships are less worthwhile than face-to-face ones? If social media isn't the problem but having a phone is, then what the fuck is it about the phone itself that causes grey matter to erode!? Has my brain been fucked playing Professor Layton this whole time!?

Obviously, this is just cursory research, I'm not exactly doing proper journalism here, and I'm not saying phone addiction doesn't exist or that it isn't a problem, I just remain unconvinced it's a bad enough problem all on its own to warrant mass concern about it. There are definitely people who have an unhealthy relationship with their phone and with technology, and the ease of access phones create could definitely exacerbate a problem already brewing, but to say that that means phones are addictive? I don't know. It just seems like too much of a stretch to me, that's all I'm saying.

I might still read that book though. It's definitely got me curious.

[butmakeitgayblog]

I shouldn’t speak on anyone else’s behalf, but I’d like to hear about the new angsty not-fake-dating au idea please

Ok 👀

Gonna preface this by saying Clarke's overall character in the first half is... questionable. But listen just, set that aside for a minute and think of Clexa and also endgame 😅

So I was thinking something along the lines of Lexa gets recruited by a friend of a friend of a friend/distant classmate/ad in the college paper? Idk, whatever. But anyway, someone she's not at all close with or really has any ties to, and she's basically hired to pretend to be this girl's girlfriend for a group vacation her and her friends are going on (She's a nice girl, but a lonely gay/bi in a group of party girls/ habitually dating girls who always have Someone™ dangling off their arm, but this girl does not. Always looked over, the eternally single friend, etc. You get the gist.) And Lexa's hot. And kind of intimidating. Has that whole smokey eyed badass, femme fatale aura about her. It's... a reach, but also kind of perfect because it'll make this girl look fantastic to her friends in the street cred department and also possibly give her confidence the little boost that it needed. And considering Lexa grew up the only gay in her town, and didn't grow into her very gangly and awkward body until senior year of high school, she gets what it's like to always be the one passed up. Plus she could use the cash. So she's more than down for this. Everything's great, right? Right.

Except for the fact that one of said girls on the trip is in fact, Clarke. Who does have her own date. Now, I can't quite decide if Clarke would know about the arrangement or not, but regardless, Clarke has always been the main one in the group who is this girl's cheerleader. Very "you're better than how you treat yourself. You deserve everything, and it's not fair that people don't see it. The right person will fall in love with you in an instant, believe me. You're worth it." Very that supportive friend. She's ride or die until the end.

Now, Lexa's technically "on the clock" so to speak the entire trip, which means she is laying on the charm thiccc af. It's not exactly a stretch by any means because she is naturally a doting girlfriend in relationships (when she has one), but ya know, she's giving this girl her money's worth. She wants her feel like a princess for the entire trip. Yes it's a job, but it's also nice just making a girl feel special when she's not used to it.

The only problem is... Clarke is also seeing all of this. All of Lexa's sweetness and all of her thoughtful actions. Her attentiveness and her softness beneath the edgy exterior. The little presents Lexa surpises her friend with, the way she remembers her friend's little quirks. Always remembering her food preferences, her favorite drinks. Lexa's got this girlfriend thing down to a science. She's just so goddamn thoughtful and charming to boot. And also hot. Can't forget hot. Like really, unfairly hot. But mostly it's the way she's so gentle and sweet.

The other issue is, Lexa sees that in Clarke too. She sees that out of everyone, Clarke is pretty much the only one who actually treats this girl with kindness and respect. Never talking down to her or placating her, never just treating her like an afterthought. Clarke is so damn sweet and thoughtful, beautiful and fiery sometimes to a fault. She's funny, and warm, and just... the entire package. She understands why Clarke is never single.

But. It quickly becomes A Problem™. Because it's in the moments that Lexa is trying very hard to just focus on her "job" that she constantly finds herself in Clarke's orbit. In the mornings when she's up early making ~her girl~ her fancy coffee, late at night when she's tinkering around in the kitchen making her a lil snackie snack so they can watch a movie before bed. Those stolen interacting becomes moments of them just talking, Clarke on the counter as they chat while Lexa feels her eyes on everything she does. Them lounging by the pool while the others run into town for supplies. Dinners out with Clarke sat close on one side,,, while the girl sits on the other.

And there's flirting. Way too much flirting whenever they're in private. Effortless flirting that Lexa isn't really aware of until it smacks her in the face that they're both just idiots smiling. But it's all very cloaked in joking and throwaway moments because, technically, they're both supposed to be attached.

And as most things are, everything is fine. Until it's not.

The whole situation comes to a boiling point when they just get lost in one of those moments. A night of too many drinks and way too much flirting, finding themselves entirely too close in their villa's bathroom. It feels dangerously like the period on the end of a sentence that was written the second they'd layed eyes on each other. Before they realize what they're doing, Lexa's hoisted Clarke up onto the bathroom counter, her fingers pumping between Clarke's legs. It's a heated rush of moans and licks to sex-sweetened skin, both grabbing at each other through messy kisses meant to leave bruises. Both way too far gone into the release of all the tension to realize that... Clarke's being kind of loud...

It's a fucking catastrophe after that because yeah, well, Clarke definitely just cheated. In front of everyone. Including her "boyfriend". Though granted she'd only been seeing the guy for like a month so it's... it's not as earth shattering for her as it could be. But the real issue, the real vomit inducing kick in the moral gut is that she's just ruined the entire facade for het friend. Made her a look fool in front of everyone. Basically fucked the entire thing up for this girl who had only wanted to feel like she fit in. Just once. It honestly makes her feel awful. It's not like she just accepts it and feels ok with it, she is thoroughly disgusted with herself.

Obviously Lexa returns the money, letting herself be branded a homewrecker and cheater rather than embarrassing this girl further with exposing the truth that they were never actually together. She can carry that stigma as long as it means she's not doing anything to hurt this girl worse. She's caused enough problems as it is.

In the end everyone goes home. Pissed off or hurt or with a new bit of gossip to tell. Clexa going their own separate ways, without a single other word to each other.

The girl never talks to Clarke again when they get home and despite Clarke's efforts to try and make amends, she doesn't blame her. It was the single worst fuck up she'd ever made in her life. Which is why she takes the time to stop dating altogether and start really working on herself. Because she didn't like the version of herself who would do something like that to anyone, much less her friend. Feelings or not. Tipsy or not.

Lexa also never hears from the friend again, though that is not even remotely a surprise after everything. But she still wishes she could have done something to make things right. Some gesture or, or... something to fix what she'd fucked up so royally. It's a guilt she carries with her for a long, long while.

Eventually though, a few years down the line when it's more just a distant memory that still stings but doesn't burn quite as bad as it used to, the friend reaches out to Clarke in the form of a very opulent and beautiful wedding invitation that says she's... getting married to the guy Clarke cheated on that weekend. Clarke doesn't want to go, at all, but kind of feels obligated because not only is this the first olive branch she's ever gotten from her old friend, but also like,,, tf??? You're marrying that guy?!??! What the hell happenesd??? So she's gotta go. She has to, just to make the final amends for what she did.

Which works out well because the girl is all smiles and that bubbly laughter that comes from real, true happiness. She seems so easy and free when she tells Clarke that she is total over it. That they'd found the love that they'd been searching for in each other while commiserating through the pain of that trip. "Eh. Burnt toast theory and all that," is how she puts it with a lift of her champagne in response to Clarke's very thought-out apology.

So it's good. It's not great, and it doesn't make up for what Clarke did, but at least she now knows that her friend is at peace with what happened.

And then aND THEN Clarke catches a glimpse of Lexa at one of the tables across the room. Looking awkward and unsure and still disrespectfully hot in her formal wedding attire. And her friend, in all of her wedded blissed out glory, is like "Oh right. So. Speaking of blasts from the past. I invited another old friend... You should go say hi."

With the bride's blessing, she does exactly that despite her absolute terror at the prospect of seeing Lexa again. They have drinks and reminisce over wedding cake about that fucking shitshow of a vacation, catching each other up on where they are in their lives now and how they've been. They talk about how stupid they were. How awful and, honestly, immature. But through their embarrassed commiseration and disgust with their past selves, they both carefully (and not so carefully) toe around the subject that while they both do regret the way it happened... neither actually regret that it did. Because the sex had meant something. Because the feelings were entirely real. Those late night talks and time spent together still mean something today. Even through the messiness and the people hurt in the aftermath, the connection had been real, and in the end it had always sort of felt like the other was 'the one who got away'. So, drinks turn into dancing, which turns into Lexa catching a ride home with Clarke in a designated cab. And before either of them know what's happening, it's Clarke that Lexa is making breakfast for in bed 👀

[definitelynotshouting]

context: ik most of my asks are pretty disorganized, stream of consciousness type of thing but GEEZ this got out of hand. you know that thing cats do when they bring you a dead mouse and *they're* super proud of it and you're just like dude.. why /lh

i usually put whatever my immediate thoughts are after reading the chapter and this time i thought it might be fun to write it out before. can you tell im running on five hours of sleep?? lmk if this made any coherent sense because even i dont understand it!!

so last chapter ripped my heartt out and stomped on it. i am LIVING for the way this whole thing was written, gorgeous prose as always <3. i was very curious as to wether Mumbo would question Grian but i think him NOT doing that was SO in character, and i adore it. I feel like w/ some fics (my own writing included) Scar is the ONLY one Grian relies on for support (in ANY area), and whenever Mumbo is even in the picture, he's just kinda "there", he doesn't check up on Grian or broach the topic of whatever is currently plaguing our little bird guy (basically, he's not involved in Grian's life despite being "his best friend"). And the way you characterized him was just So Real?? I would wager a guess (correct me if im wrong ofc) that part of it is that he just DOESNT know, (because Grian is oh so good at telling half truths and privately justifying his self sabotage) but a part of it is also him being lowkey willfully ignorant. he doesnt WANT Grian to be sick (mentally or otherwise) but definetly knows that SOMETHING is up. he really WANTS to help fix whatever is going on (evident by the gold farm) but he doesnt know what Grian needs or how to help him.

i have been OBSESSING over how Grian saying goodnight to Mumbo was ACTUALLY his goodbye to him but Mumbo DOESNT KNOW AND ITS EATING ME ALIVE. (also thought it was super interesting how Grian sort of took Mumbo leaving to sleep as "permission" to do the deed)

side ish note: how tf does Grian even plan to do that?? ik he's got the spider eyes and i *think* he's planning to turn the healing potions into weakness potions but like?? how is he going to do that??? i would assume that the gang would be watching the potions AS they were brewing, and even if they weren't, healing potions and weakness potions are.... vastly different colors. (unless im mixing them up with something else). also aren't they going to walk in on him prepping or already being in the middle of it and just save him like last time? the team as a whole has done a pretty good job on keeping an eye on Grian (from just a "this person can't walk" standpoint) so far. is he waiting for a chance when everyone is busy or does he plan to use MORE weakness potions to make it stronger or quicker?? im interested to see if he's even going to follow The Plan, because up until this point he's been pretty careful with trying to make plans and sneak around EXCEPT for the spider eyes basement adventure, which makes me wonder is he'll get more frantic/desperate as the appointed time draws closer.

Real talk though, Mumbo (and everyone else) is going to be beating himself up over not noticing when stuff goes down (which i would assume would be next chapter, but idk). Also, the fact that Grian asked him to stay means A LOT. To me (and idk if this is what you meant to convey) that signals that a part of him WANTS to stay. theres a part of him that wants to continue to experience the comfort and joy he gets from his friends, but he feels like he's only going to continue to hurt them, so to him this is the ONLY option to keep them safe. also the majority of his existence is just misery and pain so thats probably not helping. (PLUS the whole slew of mental health issues, this is not purely self sacrificial).

anyway, i LOVED this chapter as always, it was like chicken noodle soup for my overworked little soul and i savored every bit of it!! (also, no need to apologize for not having enough spoons!! i dont have any chronic illnesses but i know that shit sucks. this is a particularly long ask for me so dont feel compelled to answer everything in it, or answer right away. hope ur doing well <3)

-🐛

BUG ANONNNN THIS COMMENT IS SO SWEET AND I LOVED READING IT OMGGGG

you hit the nail exactly on the head for where im going with mumbo's characterization-- there is 100% a level of willful ignorance there. Ive always felt like mumbo is the kind of guy who has a thing about avoidance-- he feels very much like a character who will absolutely do his best to ignore things that hes decided arent his business (right up until he stops LMFAO) and part of that in hunger au is him being so anxious for grian to get better that he stops looking at the red flags grian is aggressively waving around. It'll work out!! He's sure of it!! Grian even directly said he's trying to get better!! And i think if he looked at that for longer than it takes for him to flinch away from the entire subject, he would see how much of a bald lie that is.

But he doesnt, because thats a LOT to deal with, and hes never really??? Seen this side of Grian before??? Not the way Pearl and Scar have. Theres a lot of intricacy there that i feel im skimming over but like Mumbo is very much keeping his own sanity in mind here too and thats another painful factor to the whole situation. Idk i have lots of thoughts about it and about the choice here to depict Mumbo giving in to that willful ignorance, and how its going to affect his and Grian's relationship in the future of the fic

(Quick tw for frank discussions of suicide below)

You've also completely nailed the subtext i was getting at with Grian asking Mumbo to stay-- smth ive always felt is a bit underrepresented in narratives like these are how at its most base core, suicide and suicidal ideation are often about needing something to fundamentally change in your life. It takes a LOT of both hopelessness and sheer willpower to actively try and overcome your body's instinctive will to survive. That instinct is baked into our very cells; when someone commits, it means their hopelessness for meaningful change to happen in their lives was so strong it overpowered everything else. And that is something deeply, deeply tragic, and also something i really wanted to respectfully highlight in this portrayal-- how bad things are when you spiral that far. Grian is starving to death. He wasnt lying about maybe having a week to live-- the intermittent feeding has kept him alive longer than anticipated, but its like trying to wall off an avalanche; theres only so much you can do in the face of all that :( and that hopelessness, in combination with how guilty he feels for what he did to his friends, has manifested in him feeling like his only recourse is to kill himself... but at the same time, that instinct to survive and KEEP SURVIVING is still blaring in his veins, and that manifests as him asking Mumbo to stay. Its a bit paradoxical, but its meant to really show how bad his mental state is, that he is willfully ignoring all the frantic signals his body is screaming at him to try and stay alive rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also, with the potions-- without revealing too much about how this is going to happen, Grian is planning on making fermented spider eyes and using them to turn the healing potions into harming potions, which he'll then drink in the in-between to make sure he dies immediately. Now.. i know how this is gonna go, and i know the exact mechanics around how this is gonna shake out, but smth to keep in mind is hes not thinking logically anymore, he has FULLY capitulated to his own storm of emotional wreckage. So yes there are DEFINITELY some questions to be asked about how hes gonna try and get this done, but in all honesty they mostly boil down to "sheer opportunity" which you'll see a bit more of in the next chapter >:] but yeah its meant to be a bit illogical skdbwkdjskd since he just isnt thinking coherently anymore at this point :(

Bug anon thank u for my entire life this comment was so sweet and so wonderful to receive, i really love it when my writing is analyzed like this and seen and understood!!! Its amazing its such a wonderful feeling to have your work be seen like this and its something i very much do not take for granted :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ tysm for the ask i am seriously treasuring it SO MUCH rn (and also thank you for the well-wishes!! Im doing my best to stay silly out here HEHE)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[foone]

The fundamental problem with comedy is that the highest form is improv. Not "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" style formalized improv, where you ask the audience for suggestions and build a comedic scene around that, but the basic skill of "something just happened, make a joke about that". This got long, so it'll be after a readmore

It's a life skill, not a type of art you produce. Jokes like this don't make it into movies and shows and blogs, it just happens. You're with a friend or two and something funny happens and you make a joke about it, everyone laughs. It's personal, you tell the best joke because you know your audience, you have shared history.

And you can see how we try to capture this in produced comedy: it's why we have comedy movies and sitcoms, literally "situation comedy". It's not just half an hour of stand-up, telling joke after joke, it's about setup and putting the protagonists into situations, and having it be funny, usually with them making a joke about the situation they're now in.

But there's an artificiality to it: the same people writing the situations are the ones writing the witty jokes. They set up the dominoes and they're the one who knocked them over.

And hell, even stand-up is rarely as simple as just "setup->punchline, rinse lather repeat". There are some comedians who can pull that off, but it seems far more comedians are "observational comedians", meaning they're making jokes about the absurdity of the world and modern life. They'll tell a story, even if it's as simple as "so I went to the post office and it was annoying and people were mean and I made jokes about it!". They're doing storytelling: here's the situation, and here's what I said in response, either in the moment, later during this retelling, or some combination of both. (Ed Byrne has a bit where he says "yes I was very witty that day, almost like I had several weeks to come up with the perfect response!")

And maybe the closest we can get to this "in the wild" (meaning in a produced media form) is MST3K and similar riffing. The people making the jokes didn't make the story, so they have plausible deniability. And even if they've seen the movie several times and written out jokes ahead of time, they can feel like they're reacting in the moment.

But the funniest jokes will never be made this way. No sitcom or comedy film will be the funniest, no stand-up one liner or knock knock joke, not even an improv scene that makes you nearly piss yourself in laugher.

The funniest jokes are when you and an old friend are getting ice cream and the person in front of you asks for vanilla with extra sprinkles then sends it back because there's "too many sprinkles" and you turn to them and say "I thought my ex-wife moved back to Chicago!" and you have to leave the establishment because you're crying with laughter and can't get it under control enough to actually make your order. It's something that'll probably only ever make sense to you and your friends, and in that particular moment. You could sit down and explain the situation and the back story but that would never capture one tenth of the humor, and even if they understood, so much of why it's funny is that it happened in that moment and without the setup.

Because even if you are truthfully recounting what happened to someone else later, and don't need to explain all the back story, you're still implicitly telling a story that sets up a situation. This is now a joke, and you might as well start it with "so an Irishman and a Rabbi walk into a bar..."

You're setting then up for all the expectations of comedy. And that inherently ruins some of the comedy! Because comedy, in a way, is an error message. It's a mis-prediction. It's your huge brain trying to do what it does and predict what will happen and what you'll say next and understand the situation and figure out how it'll go, and realizing it's wrong, and fundamentally wrong. It made assumptions that were reasonable to make, but it had those assumptions proven very wrong.

Like, one way this has been described is the idea that jokes are telling two stories: the one you assume, then at the last moment they pull the rug out from under you and reveal there was a second story, and you have to mentally backtrack and retrace your steps to see how the second story is the correct one.

Like, simple example, and I'm sorry to ruin the joke (as someone said, explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: no one's that interested, and the frog dies)

Doctor: I'm sorry, we had to remove your colon

Me Why?

See, the humor comes from how the setup primes you to think that "colon" means the body part, but then the punchline reveals it's talking about the punctuation. The way the first line is interpreted is totally changed by the second, and the humor is how your brain handles to "whoops made a big mistake in how I understood/predicted that!"

And that's why it's never going to be the same level of comedy when telling jokes as just improv'ing a joke while out in the world. You tell someone a joke, they know a joke is coming. They have heard jokes before. Their brain is in joke mode. They are trying to imagine how things could be taken different ways, how the joke could work, what the punchline is.

This is why "a comedian's comedian" is a thing. Your Milton Jones style comedy ("My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off"), where it's very absurdist and includes a lot of anti-jokes. It's why simple jokes like the above are often called "dad jokes", because they're the kind of jokes you tell kids. Not just because they're not raunchy or anything, but because they're lessons in how jokes work. They're jokes that only work on people who don't yet know how jokes work.

Whereas absurdist comedy and anti-jokes can work amazingly on people who know how jokes work, if you're aiming for that audience. You basically write your jokes so that the audience expects the joke, predicts the punchline, but SURPRISE! the punchline is completely different or not a joke at all. For example:

I'm not like other dads

I’m a 19 yo woman with no kids

The comedy is your brain going into joke-mode and getting ready to figure out all the ways this joke could go and then WHOOPS the joke is that there isn't one and this is a straightforward statement that you got mislead into thinking was going to be a joke.

So, having said all that, hopefully you can understand what I mean. The best jokes are the ones that come out of nowhere because you are 120% not in joke mode. You're out somewhere with a friend trying to do something serious, something happens, then BAM! one of you comes up with something that just perfectly fits the situation and references some shared background/history you have together, and you were not at all expecting it. All your brains predictions were taken up with sensible boring things, and then suddenly BOOM! IN THE COMEDY!

And I think in a way, all produced, scripted (or hell, even unscripted) comedy is about trying to recapture that perfect moment. It's setting up situations for funny punchlines to exist in. It's making the setup so that the punchline works. But it can never fully match that unexpected moment, that perfection, because at its core its always artifical, or at least staged (as there's an expectation for this to be comedy). No one goes to an improv show expecting it to be Macbeth, but a production of The Scottish Play that turned into a comedy could be unexpectedly hilarious, if the audience wasn't expecting it.

But at the same time, even staying in the area of Shakespeare, there's clear differences between, say, Twelfth Night and Romeo and Juliet. The former sets up a bunch of elements that are clearly going to be used for comedy: identical twins, crossdressing, recursive crossdressing, metacrossdressing, unknowing homosexual relationships, disguises, and mistaken identities... All are clearly set ups for comedy. Even at the time, nearly half a millenia ago, these were old, well known tropes in comedy. Shakespeare sets up all the cans knowing he can knock them over later. These things exist in the story so they can lead to comedy, and they do. Maybe not in the ways the audience expects, but they'll lead to hilarity.

And even if there's not a specific punchline, the two-stories thing can be the joke, even when the audience is on it. Like, in the scenes where Olivia is professing her love for "Cesario" (who is actually not a man, but Viola dressed as one).

The audience knows Viola is a woman (and they presume a straight one), but Olivia doesn't (and she's also presumed to be straight). Even without a punchline about this situation, there's inherent comedy in the two separate understandings of the situation. Olivia thinks she loves this nice young man, and wants to woo him. Viola is stuck trying to politely reject her advances, without revealing her disguise. That's uncomfortable (for her) and amusing (for the audience) enough, but then Shakespeare goes one step further and has Viola asked to woo Oliva for her employer, Duke Orsino. That would really twist the screws and make the situation more awkward as Viola has to attempt to woo the woman who is already in love with her, but under false pretenses... Except Shakespeare goes ONE FURTHER and has Viola fall in love with Duke Orsino herself! While Viola can't herself express this love, because as far as Duke Orsino knows, she's a man named Cesario.

And then Viola's identical twin brother shows up and marries Oliva, who thinks he's Cesario, and IT JUST GETS WACKIER. There's plenty of jokes to be had at this absurd situation (and many of them are made!) , but the "first joke" of the whole situation is the way different characters have completely different understandings of what's going on. Olivia thinks she's just in love with a nice young man, Duke Orsino thinks his page is wooing Olivia for him (and definitely his page isn't in love with him), while Viola is stuck in the middle, having to balance maintaining her disguise with not offending Olivia, not failing her master, and then her own love for the Duke just makes everything more complicated.

It's an old story. Literally and figuratively. You set up a weird situation so that it's inherently somewhat funny, then you can put jokes in the moutha of the characters, and you can make the audience laugh at how you took a bunch of people stuck in this absurd situation and then made it weirder.

Anyway, so the reason I wrote this was because I was leaving my house this morning to go grab a coffee, and I saw a truck for a local construction company, "Tech Line". I immediately shouted "Tech L9ne! Cha!" which would have been the funniest thing in the world except no one else was there to hear it, and explaining it ruins the joke.

So instead I just rambled on about the nature of comedy and the truest form of it for 28 paragraphs. This is called a "Shaggy Dog Story". It's also called "ADHD".

[linkspooky]

Really liked your top Teen Titans ship post. That Harley/Batman one has me all kinds of intrigued and you are more than right on Dickkory. But. I gotta know. How in the world are Terra and Raven the same character??? I've been puzzling over this for like half an hour and I know it's gonna drive me crazy. 😂 Thanks.

They are the same person, this is the hill I'll die on. I understand why you can't really see how they are the same character, because their relationship is literally all just subtext. SO basically text is what's written and directly stated, subtext is what you as the reader infer it's interpretation. Reader interpretation is really important though, and good comic book stories will build on subtext that's originally present in the stories intentional or not and add to it. The Harley and Ivy gay relationship started out as subtext, it's text now, stories change over time etc. etc.

Comic books are also an adaptive medium, cartoons make adaptations of these comics based on the show creators interpretation, then those adaptations are sometimes cycled back into the comics too. I mean, there's a reason that there are two Judas Contract interpretations Teen Titans 2003, and the solo Judas Contract movie and Terra has big interactions with Raven in both.

ANYWAY, Terra and Raven are the same person in different fonts explanation underneath the cut!

In the original comic, Terra and Raven's relationship does not have nearly as much interaction as in the cartoon adaptations. However, there is something there. It is basically this, Raven is the only one who notices that something's off with Terra, because her empathic senses detect the isolation and emptiness inside of Terra. Raven points this out several times to Terra and other people, avoids Terra when the rest of the group welcomes her, in, later on Terra wants to take on Raven herself because she sees her as self-righteous and stuck up.

This is why I say subtext, when you read between the lines and look at both characters they actually are incredibly similar.

They are both bastards, in the sense they are unwanted children conceived out of wedlock that their parents didn't try to raise and handed off to someone else. Terra is half-princess, her life is controlled by the fact she's connected to the Markovian bloodline, but they're ashamed of her and don't want her around (all except for Brion).

Capes on the Couch's Terra Episode, does a good job on how a child basically being punished by the decisions of their parents they had no control over can both hurt their developmental years, and also due major damage to their self esteem. It's a horrible thing to teach a child they are basically unwanted when they're not the ones who made the decision to be born into this world.

Neither Terra or Raven wanted to be born, and yet they are essentially punished their entire childhood for this fact, either by neglect by Terra (the royal family only wanted her around to experiment on her then sent her back to America when her behavior shamed them and they found her unsavory) or Raven who like had no choice in being born and yet the society she was raised in told her she was an innately an evil person (when she was like five) her emotions were evil and if she didn't continually fight against them she would be exactly like her father. Raven's mother joined a cult and tried to marry Satan, Terra's mom decided to have an affair with a king, however they both take no responsibility, hand their kids off and it's Terra and Raven who have to deal with this. Terra and Raven basically also never had parents or a childhood. Terra's sixteen and she acts like both more mature than everyone around her, and a miniature adult, and she's convinced she's this cunning manipulative mastermind and I'm like hmm I wonder if that's a survival mechanism because no one ever bothered to raise her and she had to take care of herself.

They both are born with powers they don't want

Terra has incredible powers to move the earth that are hard for her to control, and in several continuities literally result in her death when she loses control and drops the entire earth on herself and crushes herself. Raven was born the daughter of a demon and the only way she was taught to control her emotions was to suppress them entirely.

They are both given these huge powers that they didn't really ask for, and those powers changed the course of their lives. If Terra didn't have geokinesis, she'd probably just be a slgihtly unstable runaway kid and not a mercenary. Raven's entire life is defined by trying to control her powers and use them for good.

So, then the difference between them is that Raven decided to use her powers for good, and Terra made the selfish decision to use her powers above herself. Raven is a better person because she rose above her circumstances, instead of just using her circumstances as an excuse to hurt others. Au contraire, mon friend.

Repression / Expression, Selfish / Selfless, and the Dark Phoenix

A huge part of Raven's character arc that almost everyone ignores is that Raven was heavily abused, not by her father, but by the monks of Azarath. Raven was raised in a cult. Raising a child far away from other people, not allowing them regular interaction with other children, not letting them be with their mother, and most of all TEACHING THEM THEY ARE INTERNALLY EVIL is not good parenting my dudes.

It's not so much Terra chose to be evil, Raven chose to be good, as Raven has literally been brainwashed by a cult to believe if she is even a little bit selfish, if she expresses any negative emotion at all, then she's exactly like her father and evil. If you've ever read Bungo Stray Dogs, I compare Raven to Atsushi a lot.

Basically, in Bungo Stray Dogs Atsushi is an orphaned character who has the ability to turn into a Tiger. An ability that he cannot control, an ability that went out of control and murdered a man when he was young. His caretaker covers up for the murder, and tries to teach him to control that power but in the worst way possible. He isolates Atsushi, keeps him in a cage to punish him when he loses control, and he ends up teaching Atsushi if he doesn't use his power to protect others, then he's worthless.

It's not even that Atsushi wants to be a hero, it's that he has to be a hero otherwise he doesn't even deserve to live. Atsushi is incredibly dysfuctional because of this, he has black and white thinking that he applies to himself, he can't forgive hinmself, he has to be a completely selfless doormat because selfish people are EVIL! Atsushi has literally no identity outside of being superhero.

That's something a lot of people miss with Raven's character, she tries to fit in with literally having any kind of life outside of being a superhero and she always fails, because that is what Azarath taught her two "A person incapable of protecting others does not deserve to live" she doesn't deserve to be a normal person because she has to continually atone for being trigon's daughter. She's fundamentally born evil and must continue to work to prove she is not.

The real difference between Raven and Terra is that Raven represses herself to extreme extents to try to be a hero like the people around her to expect her to be, whereas Terra externalizes all of her trauma.

Terra LOATHES the expectation that she has to use her powers to help others, she thinks being a hero is STUPID AND DUMB. SHe chafes so much under a good girl image that she decides to embrace a villainous one instead, because that at least feels liberating to her.

If Terra were in Marvel instead of DC she would be working with Magneto and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Her powers have basically ruined her whole life and made her different from others, but it's also literally the only thing she has because everything else in her life is unstable, and by the time she gets with the titans she can't trust anyone. The royal family essentially tried the same brainwashing on Terra, because they only gave her her powers to be in service to them and make her a hero, and Terra said FUCK IT and decided to be NOT THAT. Raven formed her identity by repressing herself and trying to serve everyone's expectations, Terra's identity is expressed and she makes herself in defiance of what everyone expects her to be.

Now, now, now you say, well Raven still tried to be better than her father. However, this ignores once again that Raven's repression is not healthy, and just like Terra, she also turns evil fifteen squintillion times. Now this is where we get to the difference between text and subtext again. In the text Raven never chooses to turn evil, her father takes control of her body and makes her, or she gets possessed like when she ruined Kory and Dick's raven. Subtextually though, Raven is pulling a dark phoenix arc.

This is where we briefly touch upon something in another comic as an example DARK PHOENIX ARC, if you've read the X-Men comics is literally the most famous X-Men arc of all time.

The gist is that Jean Gray, a character who was until this point one of the most token good girl of good girl characters has an incredibly strong and hard to control power called the "Phoenix" that is repressed inside of her own head to try to keep under control. Jean Gray represses herself, limits her agency, and pushes her power away instead of trying to control it. However, the Hellfire Club ends up interfering with Jean and unelashing this suppressed power. THe power in its totality overwhelms Jean, and destroys her original identity and she renames herself "Dark Phoenix" and all of the powers she was repressing now come to the forefront, she becomes a force of destruction through the completely unrestrained use of her power.

Raven and Jean Gray share a lot in common, it's not particualrly subtle, however the point of the Dark Phoenix is that Jean Gray is that she could have learned to control her power and grown into her womanhood, and instead she never tried to work with her power sealed it to the back of her head, until she couldn't anymore. That's the thing about repression it's unheathly.

To give another example on why repression is BAD. Have you ever seen the movie Carrie? An incredibly similiar arc, a girl who was horribly abused not only by her religious mother, but also the people in the school around her suddenly develops a psychic power. In isolation, Carrie grows more and more unstable but is still trying to be a normal girl and get along with everyone. She eventually reaches her breaking point when the blood is dropped on her prom dress and from that point onward, Carrie completely snaps and decides to burn down the prom gym and rampage on the town.

All three of these characters are Carrie to a different extent, Raven wasn't taught to be herself just to suppress herself because she's evil deep down inside, Jean Gray was too afraid of her power so she sealed it away inside her own mind, Carrie was continually taught by her religious nut mother she was fundamentally evil and was not allowed to be a normal girl and was isolated in her highschool. They repress, they repress, they repress until they can't anymore and then they explode. Terra is just like, same superpowers, same isolation from other people, she just skips the repression phase and goes straight to the explosion. Though, you could argue that Terra continually living under the false identity as a hero IS her repression. Terra pretending to be a generic good girl hero not only makes it so the Teen Titans can't reach her in time, but living under a false identity for so long just makes her LOATHE the Teen Titans more.

Terra and Raven are the same person in that both their childhood / formative years, and their sense of self was destroyed by both the cicrumstances they were born under, and the powers they were born with, neither of these things they chose for themselves. They are both reacting to the abuse they suffered throughout their developmental years, Raven's coping mechanism is to be completely selfless, Terra doubles down on her selfishness. At the same time, this is horribly unhealthy for both of them, they both snap because neither of them know how to live as people in any healthy way. Terra's mystique, Raven is Carrie on Prom Night, neither of them are having a fun time.

The biggest thing they have in common though is they are both lonely little girls. I think something a lot of people don't understand about Raven's character because they're more familiar with the cartoon version than NTT is that Raven was not a team player. Raven, for the vast majority of the comic kept entirely to herself, showed up to say something ominious, teleported away. Raven is horribly isolated, doesn't really form emotional connections to people, and convinces herself that other people don't care about her.

You have one girl who only ever engages people through a fake persona, nobody on the team ever knows the real Terra, she sees every relationship as a transaction of a manipulation, when people try to show her concern or empathy she can't see that because she assumes they're looking down on her.

You have another girl who's teammates just don't get, and who basically interacts with all other humans as a space alien, because she was raised so far outside of society and she doesn't believe she deserves to have relationships with people in the first place. The second Terror of Trigon happens in the first place, because Raven has been getting more and more isolated and struggled with her father's powers and no one on the team notices because no one pays attention to Raven and when they try to she brushes them off.

You have two girls, one of them is always at the center of attention, the other one is always off in some dark corner and both of them are equally lonely and that's the greatest thing they have in common. I

If you're more curious on my take about the Terra and Raven foiling, I am writing a fanfic where Terra and Raven are the two main characters, here!

[mannatea]

part 16!!!

are you guys shocked i'm still doing these? me too!

Brendan... I'm so sorry... I know you were a super cool dude once upon a time, but it's all over now.

I wanted to say that Ursula might be stupid, but then I remembered how bad everyone is at geography so she gets a pass (being from Bern and all). There's quite a few Lycian territories, too.

"He has friends" is still the funniest response possible. Fire Emblem 7: Friendship Is Magic.

Eliwood's not just some hick... he has friends!!! And they have guns and pickup trucks! Be careful out there.

Boys... I'm so sorry that things won't be working out for you. :(

Is this a ship? Is this a ship? Is this a ship? Is this a ship? I'm—

The way Eliwood's eyes are closed in this screenshot amuses me greatly.

And here we have another interesting couple of guys. Fuckin' Darin, though. I mean, they don't have a lot of options now that Darin abandoned them and also they're kind of traitors to Lycia in general...

Eubans doesn't seem the bad sort; he's not a noble person, but he has his own ideas of what is right and wrong; heck, he's more morally grey than half of the other characters, since he's willing to do what it takes to look out for his team.

Anyway, for hating attacking women and children, Heath sure as fuck dove for Florina and Priscilla in my playthrough. Sir, behave yourself.

I do like the nuance here, though. Heath doesn't want to fight these people but he doesn't have a lot of options since he answered Laus's call to arms and is also wanted in Bern. I guess he could go to Ilia or Etruria, but neither of those places would grant him sanctuary, I imagine.

I do like Eubans reasoning here, though: if they succeed here in doing basically what the Black Fang wants, then they might at least find safe harbor with them; when the only other good option is to hand Heath over to Bern and hope to be rewarded for it, I'd say Eubans probably picked the right path...? Or at least, the path that benefitted the most people (in his mind).

Remember, too: the Black Fang still has a pretty good record for being just; not many people have figured out there's something wrong with it, yet.

✌🏻 Lyn just can't stay out of trouble, man. Welcome back, bro!! Rescue your own men so that they don't kill themselves, thanks.

I was never a huge fan of Heath compared to some (he sure had his fans, back in the day), but I really think he's a solid character. Replaying the game now, he actually has a lot in common with Kent—he just hasn't been as fortunate in his service. It's actually really nice that Kent can recruit him into Caelin's military (giving him purpose again, in serving a house that is worth his time). <3

Unfortunately that is not true.

Darling, you don't want to know. 😂 There's something extra funny about this, though, considering they've fought together and traded equipment like 10 times already. ANYWAY LOL.

May you rest in peace, sir. And in pieces, I guess.

Uther... All the girlies were thirsty for him back in the day.

This is the one of the coolest things about FE7, IMO. It happens this way for obvious reasons (because FE6 came first) but I like the understated vibe of saving the world in this game. Like everyone busts ass to do all this incredible stuff, but in the end very few people are aware of what actually happened, and even fewer understand the world was even saved.

This is one thing I used to notice (for better or worse) in fanfiction back in the day. Plenty of people wrote as if everyone knew the characters were all heroes; and then there were those who made sure to cover the fact that their heroism is never lauded—that these people saved the world, but will never be recognized outside of their own ranks for having done so.

I think it's interesting fodder for writing: how do you go back to your normal life after all of that? I feel like there's some comfort to be drawn from the only people in the world who know what you've been through and can understand it. Who else would believe it? Who else would know?

The things Uther knows. I can't wait to play HHM to remember more about him tbh. Off to the desert we go I guess LOL!

[pttucker]

She got royally irritated and began following after this fool's comments. She even clicked on 'downvote' too. Like a bewitched person, Han Sooyoung read only Kim Dokja's comments and not the novel itself. – Will Jihye finally awaken next chapter? – Author-nim! I've discovered a typo on page 7! With my lacking opinion, I think the spelling here should be… Ah, I looked into it and it's actually my mistake. My apologies. I've learned something new today. – Please, just smack that fool Joonghyuk-ie in the back of his head… This guy, he never once missed writing a comment on all those thousands of chapters. And every single one contained understanding and love for the world created by this author. ⸢Han Sooyoung was envious of that.⸥ She believed that there was simply no way anyone would be reading a novel as bad as this, that it had to be the author himself busy blowing his own trumpet. She thought that the author had created two separate IDs and wrote the novel with one while with the other one, wrote all those comments and uploaded recommendations, too. – Isn't recommending one's own work prohibited? ⸢Just like how Yoo Joonghyuk was an imagined character to Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja was exactly like that to Han Sooyoung.⸥ She thought that such a person wouldn't be real, but… That very person within the texts was standing right before Han Sooyoung's eyes.

Unexpected Sooyoung & Dokja backstory?!! 👀

Okay, so Dokja has said before that he totally called out Sooyoung for plagiarism so that's not the surprising part, but it's so Sooyoung to just angrily start stalking him afterwards and assume that he must be the author in disguise because who could actually like that drivel?

...While at the same time being envious that TWSA had such a loving and dedicated reader.

Also this is totally trying to emphasize that Sooyoung can't be the author of TWSA, and I know that it doesn't really make sense for her to think he was the author while being the author, but it, perhaps illogically, makes me actually even more convinced that she is the author of TWSA?

Because what it says is that this was her first encounter with him, not her first encounter with TWSA, she'd read TWSA before. And it goes out of its way to mention once again that she lost half her memories to her first avatar so I'm wondering if things have gotten twisted in her head.

She lost a portion of her memories while creating avatars and she couldn't clearly remember what happened back then. What was certain, though, was that she had indeed read the novel called the 'Ways of Survival'.

Mmmhmmm. Does this or does this not sound like Asuka Ren and Peace Land? Especially with the way she's described Predictive Plagiarism, looking at various tropes and common themes, etc. Maybe she filled in the holes in her memory with what she thinks should be there? She assumes that she would assume that Dokja is the author?

.

.

Though...

If I were to stick with my original theory that Dokja is the author...

Sooyoung could be right.

"Dokja" could be a fake account made up not necessarily to boost the comments or popularity, but to perhaps help the author (aka Dokja) figure out what to write next? Sort of like programmers with the rubber duck. Or maybe just the account of a guy with no friends who loves one particular story more than anything basically pretending to be his own fan/friend because there's no one else? Or maybe it did originally start out as a means to boost the novel's popularity by pretending to be a big fan but when everyone abandoned it he couldn't bring himself to stop because he really does love TWSA?

And now the author, aka Dokja, has written himself into the story because he couldn't figure out how to end it and/or because he was literally writing the story just for himself anyway. I mean, we literally just had that speech from Uriel about how a story doesn't have to be for someone else, and also we have Dokja realizing now that this is their (his) story and their (his) epilogue.

And it'd fit with my idea that Oldest Dream is Dokja too. I've already gone into my theories that Dokja could be Oldest Dream's avatar (and thus Dokja wouldn't have all of Oldest Dream's memories, only what was given to him) and that could be why Sooyoung is emphasizing that particular tidbit about avatar memories once again.

And Oldest Dream created this specific worldline and Oldest Dream gave Joonghyuk his stigma. The stigma that not only lets Dokja's favorite character that he loves live forever, lets his favorite novel go on forever, but also is the main point of the story. They kinda got into this a little bit with Joonghyuk, but basically Joonghyuk is a Regressor because the story required a Regressor. That was the plot. So literally you could say that the author gave him the stigma, not his sponsor.

The fact that Dokja is a "real person" standing right in front of her right now means nothing. Joonghyuk is literally standing right next to him.

.

.

UGHHHHHHHHH I just gave up my theory that Dokja is the author but now I'm so torn!!!!!! They both make sense!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Why must you torment me, ORV???????

I guess if I have to pick which theory I'm favoring atm I'm gonna stick with the idea that Sooyoung is the author for overall thematic purposes.

Joonghyuk, Dokja, Sooyoung.

Secretive Plotter, Oldest Dream, The Author.

Character, Reader, Writer.

[polaris-postmail]

“Flowers for my Moon.”

Classmate!Scaramouche x GN!Reader

Angst

——CHAPTER 1——

"What's with that weird face? I said move."

"...Ha?" After 30 seconds, you've finally spoken. You couldn't say anything else, you found it unbelievable, but it was expected. He treated you like how he treated everyone else. You aren't special, nor do you stand out to him. You really thought he wanted to talk to you, but he just told you to leave. It was clear that you don't mean anything to him, but you were more than happy to change that! You would even wait years for him, just to be your friend.

"You heard me, I'm not going to repeat myself for the third time." He crossed his arms, slowly getting pissed off.

"Ah, r-right! Sorry—" As you were about to stand up, you tripped on the chair, causing you to fall back with the chair. 'Gah! What the hell...' You thought, too busy freaking out that you didn't notice the chair falling on top of you. "Ow..." You wanted to scream so bad. You've already embarassed yourself in front of him... three times! You wanted to scold yourself, berate yourself to death. But all your focus shifted to the pain the heavy chair caused you.

The chairs at your school weren't light, but it was still enough for it to fall on you, enough for it to hit your stomach. It basically felt like you got punched at the gut. You winced in pain as tears pricked your eyes, threatening to fall out. You couldn't help it, it hurt so bad. But he didn't even care, all he did was look at you weirdly.

Scaramouche tsked, then he proceeded to call you pathetic, additionally telling you to just get out of his sight. But then, he held out his hand, you were about to hold out your hand too and take his hand, but... As it turns out, he was actually going for the chair. You didn't think he really wanted to help you out, right? He didn't even spare you a glance, he just propped up his chair to sit on.

'I could be his chair too ykyk' You joked around in your mind, leading you to reveal a grin. At least he spared you a glance now. Even though he just looked at you weirdly.

Although all that he did was glance at you weirdly, your smile didn't cease to exist, but it sort of switched from a bright smile to a half broken one because of the sudden pain hitting you like a brick. Must be a sign! A sign for you to continue bugging him until he becomes your friend.

Eventually, the pain ceased to exist, and you went back to your seat— Which was beside the chair behind him, at the last row. You sighed, disappointed in your recent interaction with him. Though you weren't quick to give up. Of course you won't give up, he's the love of your life, and you're greatly dedicated to court him. You question yourself: 'Why do I love him? That him is a someone who doesn't even want to talk to me.' However, you still love him and treat him as if he would do the same for you. You really do not know why you love him and continue to strive for his love.

Another five minutes quickly passed because of your thoughts. Students scattered across the room, others set their bag down and conversed with their friends, urging you to at least talk to someone. You decide to talk to someone, to your only friend, Nilou. Walking to her seat placement, you were about to talk to her and strike up a coversation, but she lightly turned you down, saying that she was talking to someone else and that she'd talk to you in a minute. That one minute turned to 10 minutes, and you just stood there with a sheepish look on your face. You didn't mind though, knowing and understanding that she was busy. 'I can't just ruin or waste her time, she's busy. I guess I'll either just go back to my seat or wait until she's done.' You thought of it, and you chose the second option. She was your only friend, so she was the only person you could talk to or trust.

And then another minute passed. It's now 6:48 AM. Nilou finally walked up to you, greeting you with the warm smile you always seemed to love. That warm smile never failed to give you the urge to smile back. You see, you never really liked to talk to your classmates or anyone in your school, per se; it was because their personalities were quite... troublesome. Nilou was the first person to approach you with a smile, she was the first person to strike up a conversation with you that didn't make you feel uncomfortable. All your other schoolmates were... Let's just say that they were mind boggling. They kept giving you dirty looks, kept talking behind your back and laughing at you for no reason. You were sure that you made yourself presentable on the first day— Not that you were looking bad every school day. You've had your ups and downs, and Nilou was always there for you.

Speaking about Nilou, she's a part of the student council. You heard it from someone. It's no surprise, actually. Her aura is welcoming and kind, her personality was something to be proud of, the way she speaks to anyone, the way she acts, everything about her seems to be likeable. She was popular, and you were not. But of course, that didn't stop you from staying friends with her!

After greeting you with a warm smile, she striked up a conversation, she was even apologizing for taking so long before talking to you. You said you didn't mind and understood, which she appreciated. After that, both of you just talked about your interests. Her elegant way of being able to hold a conversation was amazing, it really did amaze you. Not to mention that she was great at keeping secrets, she knew you had feelings for Scaramouche and she kept it hidden. She had no feelings for him or whatsoever, he was just a mere acquaintance to her, so you needn't worry.

Your whole conversation with Nilou was about Scaramouche. You kept gushing about him, and she listened. You kept telling her how much you loved him! Of course, you didn't say it too loud. You didn't forget that he was still in the classroom.

Time passed, it was now 6:55 AM. You had just finished conversing with your friend, she went back to her seat to prepare her things for the upcoming first class of the day. She excused herself while you fixed up your things and bringing out your notebooks to take notes.

Throughout the first period, you had noticed that Scaramouche kept taking quick glances at you. Those quick glances didn't look like he was giving you a death stare for what happened. It didn't look like he wanted to kill you, he just had his usual scowl on his face. But it was sort of different this time. His expression was unusually softer than it usually is, despite his expression still being a scowl.

As he was opening his mouth to call out yout name, his attention shifted to something else, which was a girl. You recognized her, she looked pretty. Her hair was long, and she put it up into a ponytail. There was something off about her smile, something that others usually never noticed because they were too focused on her looks and 'kindness.' You never really talked to her because you had a bad feeling about her and because you heavily dislike her. You would avoid her by any means. You don't know her name but she's seated beside Scaramouche. 'That should've been me! I should've been beside him.' You thought.

You felt quite disappointed, he was just about to call out to you, but some girl snatched his attention. You didn't openly glare at her, but you were still upset. But what could you do? Nothing.

A few minutes passed, and class ended. The adviser of your class told everyone to take a recess break, saying that the teacher of the second period was absent. You felt quite happy, really. Your teacher of your second subject was mean to you. Though you didn't leave the room yet, opting to look for Nilou before going to the cafeteria.

Then something caught your eye. It was the same girl from earlier, she was standing on the doorway, holding his hand. Scaramouche's hand.

[kcdodger]

Honestly, I feel like one of the only Starfield fans out there. There's so little talk about how good the game actually is, because everyone seemed to expect it to be like... "Elite Dangerous or Star Citizen but good" without realizing that those games are *bad* because of their fundamental basis in, well. Nothing. See, Elite was always a game with promise, but it has some of the most worthless head developers in the industry. Designed like an F2P MMO with a quarter of the content, around an exceptional flight model based in the most uselessly large 1:1 scale galaxy I have ever seen. Scale is useless if you cannot use it. (Starfield suffers immensely from this too, by the way.) But Star Citizen is also another promiser with no real delivery at all.

The game is driven by ship sales and almost half the game is still in development, and it's been well over ten years now. They promised 100 star systems but have only delivered on what, Stanton and Pyro? Again, Starfield suffers from this too. Can't lie. But you know what Starfield has that neither of them have? A story. Characters. Voice work. Cultures to explore and experience, even if they ARE small. ACTUAL worldbuilding beyond ship based combat. Fully traversable ship interiors and exteriors without exception. If you hate Starfield beause it isn't "Well realized or big enough of a space system" you both don't understand the intent of the game nor do you understand what it *does* have. Yes, there's stock repeatable dungeons everywhere, yes, they do get old. Yes, perhaps there is simply too much open "junk space" - but, like. Ultimately? It does deliver on just about every promise both Elite: Dangerous and Star Citizen made. "Oh but it's not seamless!" You don't want that. Trust me. In Elite and SC, you only travel to POIs. It's true. The scale is too large in either game to even consider doing anything else. You really do just fly from one identical point to another in those games. I guess maybe not SC, but SC's locations are, frankly, single player RPG sized theme parks. At best. ED: Frontiers didn't add anything meaningful to the game, despite adding space legs. It's not a fulfilling SP or MP experience. Its shooting mechanics suck. Its other mechanics are, frankly, useless - if interesting. It's just not built for that.

Admittedly, in a lot of ways? Starfield feels like a Single Player Star Wars Galaxies, to me. Fully traversable ships, decently large on-foot areas to explore, POIs to travel to, and fully realized stories and characters, with just about as good worldbuilding and realization. Perhaps that's why Starfield appeals to me so much. Because it scratches an itch that SWG did, but E:D and SC completely and utterly failed to. I'll give E:D this. It might be the greatest space sim to play if you work an office 9-5 or are unemployed. I'm saying it's great if you have nothing but free time, basically. If you don't, it's pretty awful and does not respect your time. "Starfield has so many loading screens!" one may say. Yeah, it does. so do ED and SC. But they hide them behind entering and exiting FTL jumps. Does that FEEL like a loading screen? No, not to the uninitiated. But once you're in there, the waits become kind of agonizing and obvious. It's like Mass Effect's elevators. The Loading Screens are still there, but you have the illusion removed. Could Starfield benefit from immersive loading screens? Yeah, honestly it could. I mean, Star Wars: Outlaws coming out next month is doing it. And your average plebeian gamer doesn't realize that's what it is - a loading screen between instances and POIs. If Starfield added that, it'd do them a lot of good. Though, sadly it would also run in the face of their lovely photo-mode-pics-are-loading-screens function, which I adore. But for the health of the game, I am willing to eschew that. Heartbreakingly. If Starfield added that, it'd do them a lot of good. Though, sadly it would also run in the face of their lovely photo-mode-pics-are-loading-screens function, which I adore. But for the health of the game, I am willing to eschew that. Heartbreakingly.

[quetzalpapalotl]

💚💛💕

@gaysontodd 👀

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Oh boy. Well, I'm the only person who understands IDW1 Optimus (I'm joking... but also) but I think the most commonly and easily disproven thing that fandom gets wrong about him is the idea that the narrative supports his choices and portrays him as unequivocally good.

And to be fair, James Roberts does portray him like that and I have a lot to say about it. But Barber does not, and I think the text alone is enough to understand that, but Barber himself says in an interview that he just writes what happens and is up to the reader to judge character's actions. But I feel that for a lot of people who read Mtmte first they retain that idea of how JRo writes Optimus and carry it to exRID/OP—which is much more explicit about Optimus being a jerk and a hypocrite—and think that we're supposed to still think of him as an ideal hero.

And also people blame the issues with his character on everyone but JRo, and look I basically only like how Barber writes him so I can't say the phase 1 writers did a great job but the most glaring issue, namely, the cop stuff, was all JRo. People attribute that to Metzen and Dille, but Autocracy is actually phase 2 and came out after Chaos Theory and this is not a good comic but it is far more honest about what being a cop entails. Orion does police brutality in both, but while Chaos Theory insists on portraying him as The One Good Cop, Autocracy openly depicts him lashing out and using unnecessary violence. And of course, the comic that bears his name opens his narration in issue 1 with "Before I was Optimus Prime, I was part of the problem" and dedicates half of an arc to put Orion's job as a cop under scrutiny.

I think people just don't know what to make of Optimus' character because Barber portrays him as someone whose primary motivation really, genuinely is "to do good" BUT this does not mean that he actually does good, and he's also influenced by his own temper, his biases, and that after all this time he doesn't trust anyone else to do the job. It seems that when people see his condradictions instead of figuring what makes him tick, they disregard his internality and reduce him to just a holier-than-thou jerk... and he's not not that, but there's a logic to it.

For example, in fandom, I often see his anger issue flare up when he's disrespected. But Optimus is disrespected many times in canon and he's not happy, but he often shrugs it or responds a bit rudely. Disrespetc alone is not enought to make him lash out and often results in violence is having his core ideals challenged. When he puts faith in the good in the world and the world dissapoints him, especially if it reminds him of his own shortcomings. Because he wants to believe in good more than he actually does and often doesn't even know what shape this good would take and he's angry at himself for it and the mistakes he has made because of it and he can easily externalize this anger.

I could go one but I should probably stop now, hehe, sorry, you know how it is that I get with my boy.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

Jazzprowl. It's just... not based on anything?? Or more like, it's usually based on their fanon personalities and not in any particular canon so I feel there's nowhere for me to grab. And because it's so ubiquitous there's not an attempt to sell it despite the lack of basis, so every time it shows up it's like there's something I'm not seeing, I don't get it. It's also kinda annoying that's everywhere, but I have it filtered so it's fine.

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Read my whirlop fic people. One of this days I will also have to write a rodibee fic-manifesto-