#this au is really for one specific follower who knows what tf I’m talking about—

[jennrypan]

Since god fucked me and i cant share my au ideas with the site i normally did. Ill have to do it here! So.

Villain Scourge obsessed with Amy.

It’s about the toxicity- the fear!!

They’re relationship is too cute in some of my aus I need some crazy vibes to match all the crazy ass songs i listen to that played in yandere amvs (not a yandere au, i hate those annoying ass mfs just givin an example)

I should also start makin my stories on here..and remaking them cuz I lost my shit.

[esaari]

Hi I’m new to your lovely blog and I was wondering if you could (re)introduce your ocs? Who they are and a little bit about them

Sorry it took me so long to respond I have been so tired this week,,,,

I have several OCs and most of them have AUs as well. There’s a few that don’t have much *lore* or some have none. I also have OCs that exist purely in my mind so I won’t be talking about those lol. I’ll throw in a picture so you can see who tf I’m talking about. One thing you’ll notice I don’t really give my OCs specific ages,, I am gesturing vaguely and that is enough for me LOL.

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Gabriel aka. Gabe (in his late 30s or early 40s for canon and most AUs, 6’5″, bi)

Yes I am using his xmas photo cus he looks CUTE in this.

My absolute favourite since his creation, my golden child,,, the one with the most *lore* and AUs. His background is pretty much the same in most of my AUs and canon. He grew up poor raised by just his mother cus his father was a piece of shit basically who also happened to die behind bars when Gabe was very young. Troubled childhood leading to a life of crime. He becomes a filthy rich sugar daddy though eventually doing his shady business. He is very charming at least if he likes you with a soft side for his loved ones. He can become quite the big teddy bear in a relationship. Don’t tell anyone I told you though or he might murder me in my sleep. His canon that I’ve thought about mostly involves him sitting behind bars for some years and going on a quest for revenge against people who got him there. 20s/50s AU he’s the head of a gang and is one of my favourite,,, if not my favourite,,, AU to think about. I say 20s/50s because I have both but they are essentially the same, other just involving some friends OCs as well :^) Oh and YES he was struck by lightning, that’s what those marks are. Lip scar origin changes from being punched in the face to being bitten on the lip. In modern settings he has 7 piercings: two on both ears, both nips and a PA. There’s so much more I have for this guy but I find it hard to decide what is worth mentioning.

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Beau (a little bit younger than Gabe and around the same height as well, gay)

Big stupid himbo essentially. All the brain cells in the family went to Gabe. I’m still working on him to see where he falls to but likely he doesn’t follow in his brother’s footsteps even though he does look up to him a lot. He is good and kind.

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Creed (demon age????, human age in his 40s, 7’3″, pan(?))

Everyone’s beloved big shredded demon mans. Slap his bald head for bad luck. As far as lore goes in his canon he is a demon with the ability to shift into a human form to mingle around people if he likes. In his human form however in canon or any AU he always conceals his face in some way and remains tall as fuck so he can hardly blend in. Creed doesn’t really do much as of right now other than takes care of his own needs. I may give him some additional abilities later but who knows. I also change his horn shape every now and then for fun. The bigger the horns the more horny he is? Who knows. Honorable mention of Creed in that 20s/50s AU with Gabe where he is basically hired muscle and enjoys throwing people around. Human Creed has issues with his own face and mutilating it. Overall Creed is a pretty unpleasant and selfish character who hates just about everyone.

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Alek (age 20s-30s???, 6’1″, pan)

Alek in his canon is an android. He was originally just built to be a faceless weapon like other androids in the factory he was built in. His ’father’ (someone working there) however took his design further giving him some top tier AI. I want to say he has free will, it’s fiction who cares. His looks mimic his ’father’s’ actual son that passed away cus he couldn’t come to terms with the loss and tried to recreate him hehehehe. There’s a point where Alek escapes the place after his ’father’ is murdered by his coworkers and he gets to go outside for the first time and tries to make a life for himself. He looks like an unfinished project because he is, he was supposed to look like a regular human in the end. I have some other fun ideas regarding this canon setting but it requires more work. And resembles a soap opera tbqh with all the damn twists. He has had several AUs as well but as of right now I don’t work on those.

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Marcus (age????????, 6’3″, bi)

Marcus is my vampire character from a witcher-esque universe. He’s the most relaxed motherfucker known to mankind only existing to live deliciously. He hates other vampires, especially his own family (after the incident), and is one of the rare ones that doesn’t see themselves as being above humans. He was in love once with a human and as you can imagine this did not end very well. He has built a lot of walls around himself but deep down there is a heart of gold. He can turn into a massive ugly looking bat.

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Kit (age??????, 6’5″, pan/demi)

Kit exists in the same universe with Marcus. I like to imagine the two are friends. Kit is the softest lad I have despite all the shit he has to go through. He is very shy and avoids people mostly so has had no relationship experience either,, please be nice to him asksjdfslgd. He was abandoned in the woods as a baby and raised by someone else who also named him Kit. He is a mix of a vampire and a werewolf which resulted in him being born with a fucked up arm. The scarring on his entire arm and side of face opens up every time he turns and is very painful obviously so he avoids it at all cost. He doesn’t even want to hurt anyone so it is merely a self defence mechanic. Kit also has a big monster form, a very fluffy bat looking thing with a messed up wing so he cannot fly.

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Natalie aka. Nat (20s to 30s, 5′6″, bi)

She currently only exists in the 20s/50s AU. She loves being the centre of attention and being showered in gifts. Much like Creed she is quite selfish and only looks out for herself. Honestly those two might get along pretty great. She loves to scam people and steal their money lol. If necessary she kills in cold blood to get what she came for. She at least has a softer spot somewhere deep down so if you love digging a lot you may find it.

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Karhu (????, 7’, ??????)

That half-orc guy, he has no lore, he might never have lore. Sometimes having a pair of fantastic tits is enough.

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Orion (???????????????)

I am mentioning him for the sole purpose of: he is cute. I made him a long time ago to exist in the same universe with Marcus and Kit. As far as I remember he is a werewolf (though there might have been more to this) and the scarring on his ankles, wrists and neck are from being chained up.

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Philip (late 30s currently, 6’4″, straight)

Okay now I have a total of 5 Skyrim OCs, ALL BRETONS, and all brothers... and all werewolves. Philip is the one most people prefer out of the bunch so here he is. What is it called when a man is kind and smart? That’s what this man is. Philip is the oldest of 5 with a rather tragic backstory involving him finding his mother murdered one day and being turned into a werewolf against his will. It’s something he’s come to terms with over the many years of being a werewolf. The transformation is painful and he doesn’t have full control when he turns because I just think that’s fun. If there is livestock around he is most likely responsible for their disappearance. He is currently the Arch-Mage in the College of Winterhold. A job that keeps him thankfully quite busy. He is rather touch starved and doesn’t sleep very well, poor thing.

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Sullevan (30s, slightly shorter than Philip, bi)

I was going to leave it at Philip cus he’s everyones fav out of the bunch but idc I will mention Sulle as well. Philip’s younger brother (second oldest of 5) Sullevan is the Dragonborn and he hates his job but who else will do it but him. I lovingly call him the rat man. He is such a reckless disaster with a bit of a drinking problem. He is also a single dad. Being a father is his number one joy in life.

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I’ll leave it at this,,,,,,,, I apologise for my writing I know it is very cringe. I hope you like my kids though :^) IM NOT PROOF READING THIS IF IT’S TERRIBLE THEN IT’S TERRIBLE

[purplefair]

j.t. | all i wanted

pairing: jason todd x unrequited!reader & platonic!dick grayson x platonic!reader

a/n: dear fucking god- this hurt to write- and this is an au where all the robins are living at the manor. reader is close friends with the batboys. also “she” is the new batgirl- also, there isn’t a specific iteration of the characters that is mentioned, i left that up to your imagination. :) and i didn’t know how tf to begin this-

request: yes by @artistichoodiegirl : “i wrote a poem that reminds me of jason. can you write an angst fic based off of it?”

warnings: ANGST OMFG THE ANGST- also, i don’t know if i like the way this came out, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. :)

you wanted to deny your feelings for him, but being as that felt physically impossible, you felt like a lost cause. crying your eyes out almost every night all because of a stupid guy. your brain tells you that you’re an adult, that you shouldn’t be so messed up over a guy, that you’re pathetic for feeling this way.

this night wasn’t any different, laying on your bed, wallowing in your own self pity.

dick walked down the hallway to your bedroom to tell you that dinner was ready, but when he heard your sniffling through the door before he was about to knock, he became concerned for his best friend. dick knocked, not giving you a chance to respond before turning the handle and opening your door to find you and your room a mess.

tissues everywhere, empty water-bottles, and and dishes on your bed-side table. he sighed before asking the same question he had been asking you for days, “are you okay?”

you turned to him, and what he saw shocked him. your hair messy and all over the place, eyes and nose red, it didn’t look like you were just sad, you looked ill.

“yeah, i’m just peachy.” you replied sarcastically, trying to deter him from being serious with you. “y/n i’m being serious. you’ve been cooped up in here for what seems like days, the boys are worried about you.” you chuckled, still trying to make it seem like you were okay.

dick walked a little bit further into your room before closing the door, knowing you didn’t like your door open. he moves to your bed, sitting across from you, “is he worried?” you asked, already thinking that this certain “he” couldn’t give less of shit about you.

“yes, jason is. he’s been wondering if you’re okay, why you’ve been avoiding him, and why you won’t even so much as look at him anymore.” you keep your eyes looking away from dick, knowing looking at him would make you sob again. “you know i can’t tell him why.”

“why not? you aren’t going to ruin his happiness with her by just talking to him about how you feel. i bet you’d even find at least some closure by talking to him!” you know he’s right, he usually is about these things. you, again, didn’t respond. opting to keep your eyes away from dicks gaze.

“if you’re not going to talk to him, fine. but at least come out and get dinner, talk to the rest of the family for a little bit, please?”

“i don’t know dick-“ “please, for me?” you shouldn’t have looked at him, his gorgeous blue eyes are impossible to say no to. “…fine. but let me get ready, i look like absolute shit right now.”

“yeah, you do.” that earned him a pillow to the face.

you closed your bedroom door before heading down the hall and to the kitchen. were you nervous, yeah. did you really want to speak to jason, no. but, you were doing this for your best friend and no one else.

and of course, the sight that you didn’t want to see the most was right in front of you, jason sitting on the couch with her in his lap, almost on top of him.

“hey, look who finally came out of hiding.” you mentally cursed tim for making it obvious. heads turned, but jason’s and hers stayed where they were, as though the couldn’t care less. you looked away from them and moved over to where damian, tim, and dick had been sitting after already getting some food.

you were 90% sure that tim knew about your feelings for jason, you didn’t know if damian knew or cared, and of course, dick being the emotional support friend, of course he knew.

you four sat in comfortable silence, occasionally hearing jason and her giggle, making you want to shiver from how uncomfortable it was. tim seemed to notice this and gave you a look of sympathy, damian lyes back on the couch and muttered to himself, “idiot…” looking at jason.

you chuckled softly, you didn’t know what it was, but damian had a way of making you feel better, even if it was unintentional. of course he knew, your moping had been kind of obvious.

making comfortable small talk with the other boys while eating, jason occasionally looked at you. ‘i should talk to her.’ he thought, before being distracted by the woman in front of him.

laying on your bed, staring at the ceiling trying not be/ feel pathetic for being upset that he didn’t even speak to you during dinner. you grabbed the pillow on the other side of your bed and pushed it over your face, and screamed.

even though jason has never slept in your bed with you, it felt…cold and lonely. he was something you craved, but knew you could never have, like god just wanted to continue to fuck you over.

there’s a knock on the door and you’re sitting up very quickly, “hey, can we talk?” it was jason.

hoping you looked okay, you gave a little huff and said to yourself, “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…”

“come in!” jason heard through the door, turning the handle and making his way into your room. your eyes widened and tried to act normal, like his presence didn’t make your stomach do flips. he closes the door behind you and sits next to you on the bed, you of course still not looking at him.

“why have you been avoiding me? you haven’t talked to me in days, and you can barely look at me. what’s going on?”

you wanted to tell him, you really did. but you couldn’t ruin what they had, knowing it’d be awkward for you, jason, her, and the rest of the boys.

“nothing is the matter jason, i just…haven’t been in the best state of mind recently, that’s all.” you mustered enough courage to turn and look at him, automatically regretting it to find him already looking at you. his eyes full of concern, but void of love. sure, maybe an almost sibling love, but not romantic. before all of this you had tried to make it painfully obvious of how you thought of him. but after she showed up, there was nothing really you could do.

“y/n, i’m going to take your word for it, and not pry. but i still want to talk to you.” “about?”

he looked at you once again, “does it matter?”

no, it didn’t, all that mattered was that he was talking you, something you had tried to avoid but internally yearned for.

asking the most painful question, just to make it seem like you really were okay, “how’re things going between you two?” he laughed, his beautiful smile never failing to mesmerize you.

“they’re going pretty good actually, i think i want to marry her.”

why were you surprised? they had been going for awhile now and of course he’d want to marry her. she could give him everything he wanted.

you tried not to whip your head around at him, you also tried not to burst out in sobs upon hearing those words. he wanted to marry her? “oh wow, that’s…a big commitment.” you laughed, trying to seem normal.

he in turn laughed a little too, “yeah, i know, but she just makes me so happy. i finally have the chance to have the family i’ve always wanted,”

“have two kids, preferably daughters. i am definitely going to name one amber.” of course he would, he’d always loved that name.

the pain in your chest is indescribable, you had hoped that he’d be having that family with you. but , it seems as though you may have waited too long. “that sounds amazing…i’m so happy for you.”

the words sounded disingenuous, but at this point you didn’t care. it hurt too much to see the person you love the absolute most, talk about starting a family with someone other than you.

faking a yawn you stood up, “i’m pretty tired, so i’m gonna have to kick you out now.” jason gazed up at you, faking being offended. “wow, we just started talking again and you’re kicking me out? rude.”

you laughed as he stood up and walked to your door, you following not far behind. when he stood just outside your door and in the hallway, there was an awkward silence. “goodnight, jason-“

“before i leave, can i get a hug? i’ve missed you y’know.” jason held his hand between the door and the doorway.

you hated how much you loved those words, he said he missed you. “yeah, you can have a hug.”

jason pushes the door open and quickly wraps his arms around your waist, and you wrap your arms around his neck. “please never avoid me like that again.”

he muttered in your ear, sounding genuinely hurt by what you had done. “i won’t.”

it felt like minutes before he pulled away, looking down at you and smiling. “you should get some sleep, i can see your eye bags underneath your concealer.”

“shut up, asshole.” you laughed, knowing he was just teasing you. jason stepped out of your room and into the hallway, “goodnight, y/n.”

“goodnight, jason.” you both smiled at one another before he walked down the hall to his bedroom. you closed your door and suddenly everything hit you like a ton of bricks.

he was going to marry her, he wanted her children, and he’s going to name one amber.

he’s going to have the “big, happy family life”, something you knew you probably would be apart of. possibly babysitting his children.

you hated thinking about it, but, as long as he was happy. you’d do anything for him, even while suffering in silence.

now you were left to yourself, again, laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down the sides of your face and soaking your hair.

“fuck, i’m pathetic.”

you cried yourself to sleep, for the 7th time that week. wishing you would have been brave enough to just tell him how you feel, but instead you’re all alone.

and who else is there to blame, but yourself?

also, here’s the poem that the requester wrote! <3

I tried to win your love but

I can't compete

when she already won

god she's so much better

you should give her that diamond ring

I was begging for

I bet she's dying for you to get down on one knee

You probably already sing her to sleep

brush her hair

like you used to do for me

now i'm alone

got no one to hold

god my bed is so cold

But I still hope she's happy

make her smile when she's lonely

and give her a home

now that I'm alone..

imagine all of the little babies

you'll have driving her crazy

You'll probably have 2 daughters

I bet you'll name one Amber

you always really liked that name

you'll be such a wonderful father

I know you had those doubts

but I know she'll even them out,

And even though we aren't together

you always have my shoulder

for when your doubts

start to make the world dark

I just hope I'll still be around

to meet all of your little ones

but for now

I'll sit here and watch you…

be happy

I bet she's feels lucky

I'm glad you have one another

to hold each other

and keep the bed warm...

I hope you're happy

and never ever feel lonely

I'm glad you found a home

now that I'm alone...

[yoichichi]

Modern!au Jean Best Friend Headcannons

Modern!au Jean Kirschtein x bestfriend!reader

a/n: i want to be bestie’s with Jean so bad! I jus couldn’t stop thinking about it so please enjoy some headcannon’s of what I think it’d be like to be buddies with Jean! I might make a part 2 someday to add onto these cause I have so much more to say but I had to stop myself before I wrote a full fledged essay sdkjalkfjbajfb, let me know if you guys are interested! Or if you jus wanna come in my inbox and talk with me about Jean Kirstein, I’m always free to do that. Anyways, enjoy!

gif not mine, credit to owner

Ok, I had a dream about Jean being my bestie and I have not stopped thinking about it since then LMAO

Ok, so for starter’s, I truly believe he would be such a good friend like the type to be listening to you in a group conversation and encouraging you to go on when you feel like no one is paying attention

“I’m listening :)”

Or the type to stop next to you while you tie your shoe and wait and just keeps talking to you

VERY much big brother energy, like I feel like he’d have that sincerity that bestie Armin would have but he’d be a little more of the type to always be looking out for you and being a tad overprotective at times, but more on that later back to attentive Jean :)

This man is SO attentive it’s unreal

Bad day? Yeah he could tell before you mentioned it and he’s buying you your favorite snack and driving you around until you talk about it constantly giving you the 👀😗 look

Feeling lonely? You never get the chance

This man is CONSTANTLY blowing up your phone with notifications from snapchat, instagram, tiktok, and facebook messenger if he’s feeling particularly clingy - it’s usually just some strange sticker of a fucking koala or somethin like “hi :)”

SNAPCHAT

You guys don’t have “streaks” but you still have a streak from how often he’s snapchatting you

Most of the time it’s just a video of his face where he slowly zooms in cause he’s bored in class - the amont of snapchat’s you got from him where you can hear is Econ professor lecturing in the background is in the hundred’s at this point

The other times it’s usually Connie and Eren acting like absolute idiot’s while him and Armin are behind the camera like 😐 - they usually end with Armin sighing and stopping them from doing something probably a little illegal

INSTAGRAM

Ok you have a groupchat for studying purposes with all your buddies but if it’s specifically Jean messaging you it’s most likely cause Eren said something stupid and Jean needs someone to laugh with him (yes, you, Jean, Sasha, and Connie do have a separate groupchat where you bully Eren - but it’s with love so it’s ok)

TIKTOK

This man will send you a whole FYP but won’t let you open any of them until he’s with you, then y’all scroll through them together on one of your phones

the type to look at you when you’re on a tiktok he sent you that he thought was really funny to see your reaction

Sends you SO many “challenge” tiktoks that he’s adamant on doing with you

You know the one where someone puts their arm in between the other person’s legs and tries to lift them? He was persistent with that one

“I’m literally jacked c’mon you’ll be fine, I just want to know if I can do it. I mean I know I can, but, like, you know? Just c’mon.”

Yes you gave in, no you didn’t fall, yes Jean wouldn’t shut up about how “yolked” he was for the next 15 minutes

If you guys posted it people are definitely asking if you’re a couple and he just replies to every single one with “no” HE SEEMS SO INTENSE PLS

Ok you’re his best friend? Then you’re definitely close with his family. Like, two holidays every year type close.

You learned to drive when he did cause you’re his bestie and you guys should totally learn together (he was nervous and needed support ok)

PLAY FIGHTING

While I don’t necessarily see him as someone who would playfully bully too much, he is a fighter LMAO

And I’m talking like fucked up sibling fighting

It always starts off “fun” it’s totally a little passive aggressive and then someone smacks a little too hard or throws an elbow that wasn’t needed and next thing you know someone’s in a headlock

If he has you in a headlock he WILL try to tickle you until you borderline piss yourself - until he realizes said piss would get on him and then he’ll let you go like 😎 yeah. I won

If you have him in a headlock PLS take a snapchat if you can and send it to Mikasa

He will pout for like 10 minutes and then get over it when she replies with a black screen and “lol what a dork”

Once you guys are done fighting - cause SOMEONE takes it too far - you just go on your phones until someone peeks over and you’re both like lol hi :),,, are you hungry? I think I still have some pizza rolls :)

Endless hoodie supply from all the sleepovers and the following cold mornings

He is always buying new ones cause he just feels wrong asking for them back? Like, is that his brand new nike hoodie? Yes.

BUT you’re wearing it and clearly you need it if you didn’t bring a hoodie so fine, you can have it, he’ll just buy another one he’s a little bit of a rich boy it’s ok

Although he is wondering where tf his other 6 hoodies you stole went

Late night study sessions in your dorm buildings lounge area - it’s almost embarrassing how often an RA is waking the two of you up to go to your rooms instead of sleeping on the couch and floor

Jean ALWAYS brings an extra water bottle for you in case you forgot one

You’ve definitely stolen your fair share of notes from him - they’re just so easy to understand!

They’re not exactly pretty but they’re just naturally organized into subsections and all the keywords are underlined with a little definition in the margin - if he’s feeling a little spicy he might even add a glossary at the end of his notes asjnffna;irje

Sometime’s he gets too nervous to ask for a girls number and then when you convince him to do it he’s all stuttering and stumbling over his words but he still gets it and he’s convinced it’s ‘cause you’re his lucky charm - really it’s just cute to see Jean all huffy and his ears getting all red while he says some stupid pick up line that he’s immediately apologizing for and now he’s rambling and - oh the girl is shoving something into his hand

“Y/n!! Look!! I got her number!”

Yeah, see Jean acting all cocky for the rest of the day like he got it cause he was smooth and NOT cause he was an adorable flustered mess

He does not like giving out your number if anyone asks him LMAO

He’s just like ,,,,, and why couldn’t you ask them yourself? He just hates it LMAO cause you’re great and if this idiot can’t ask you yourself then they don’t deserve you, they should be CONFIDENT in his mind

BUT he does make it mandatory you tell him everything there is to know about ANY current crush, love interest, fling, anything

Not just cause he likes the gossip but cause he feels like he has to approve - there’s the big bro energy we were talking about

BULLYING EREN BULLYING EREN BULLYING EREN

PLS his favorite thing is to play games with Eren and you and whoever else cause you two will always gang up on Eren and he gets so mad and Jean finds it HILARIOUS

The three of you and Connie were all in the same Minecraft server once and you and Jean just could NOT stop making your dog’s attack Eren and blowing up his house

He was getting so heated and Jean and Connie were laughing so hard it sounded like their mics were blown

Eren had to pull his headset off and step away so he could take a 5-minute break cause he just couldn’t handle it - especially with the three of you dying at how mad he got

Let Eren spell something wrong in the group chat on Instagram or mispronounce a word,,, Jean is on him SO fast and you’re there right behind him - it’s becoming Jean’s favorite hobby and sometimes he says it’s his favorite part of being your best friend LMAO

———————

Ahhhh!! Bestie Jean, hand him over please 🤲🏼🤲🏼‼️‼️ i jus wanna bully eren with him so bad 😭 let me know what you guys think!! Or just come to chat :) love you guys!! And let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist!

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites

[kenmasangel]

you get shot infront of tsukishima

synopsis : you and tsukishima work as police officers and it is known that this field isn’t safe from dangers, in fact it’s one of the riskiest jobs out there. so what you tsukushim’as reaction to see his s/o getting shot right infront of his eyes?

characters : police-officer!tsukishima;  f!reader

genre : angst, fluff

warnings : injuries/blood, cursing, grammar mistakes

masterlist

request : i have one AU in where y\n is a spy or work for police or something like that in which she get's shot or something like that and how the haikyuu boys react to it or more specific tsukishima or any other will be ok if you do it

“straighten your arm, so you are sure to have a good aim,” tsukishima explains, holding your hands so he can guide you correctly.

the sound of the bullet being shot echoed in the practice room, lending on your target perfectly, “see? this is what i’m talking about,” he adds his warm breath carresing your neck. it would’ve sent shivers down your spine but you were taught to keep your composure, to have this poker face and to numb down any type of emotions; after all this was your work and you knew what you signed up for when you decided to join the police. “okay now that i got it let me do it alone,” you straightened your position and he got away from you

3 other shots, 3 other perfect lendings earning a smirk from the both of you. you turn around getting rid of the soundproof headphones, “don’t say anything,” he says before heading out of the practice room

“what? say what?” you hide your smile, now walking next to him

&#144;“you know what i mean y/n, i am not gonna tell you did a good job,” he rolls his eyes

“oh honey, i don’t need you to tell me, i know i did a good job,” he scoffs at your reply

you and tsukishima kei have been working together in the police for 9 years now

he was here before you and he didn’t miss a chance to tease trainee you every time he could

at the time you were focused and had one objective : integrate the police forces

and him butting in your buisiness everytime he could didn’t help and you weren’t afraid to twist his arm and threaten him to break his balls when no one was looking

as you finally got into the police, making yourself a name among all those cocky officers, fake peace guardians and mysoginist dickheads whose ego would get hurt easily by seeing a woman outshining them

tsk, poor things

one thing was sure is that you could always rely on tsukishima

and despite all the bickering, arguments and teasing, you couldn’t help but fall for the man who represented your pillar

of course you could count on yourself more than anyone, but kei was that breeze of fresh air that you inhaled pleasently after getting out of a suffocating room

needless to say he had also fallen for you, fallen really hard

he was known for being the brain of the team, very rare were the people who could go past his cold, inaccessible shield

to say it in another way, almost no one passed his vibe check

by now you guys were living together, everyone knew that you were a thing after you dramatically announced it once the contract’s interdiction to date was over

“omfg y’all, i made it! 4 years in the forces wohoo!” you held your glass in the air making your teammates scream back in entusiasm.

your teammates told you -lowkey forced you- to go celebrate this new chapter of your life in the police forces, it was the end of an era after all; an era that prevented you from many things because of that goddamn contract. you had alos gotten a promotion, everything was doing just great for you.

what no one knew was that you were dating tsukishima for quite a long while actually, you weren’t planning on telling everyone so soon but the events that happened that night lowkey forced you to do so.

“thanks everyone for celebrating with me tonight the beginning of a new era for me! let’s enjoy the night!” you weren’t one for emotional speeches.

everyone was drunk by then but tsukishima, of course, (mr. i am a mature man who doesn’t drink). he was watching over you, laughing at himself when he saw you fighting with your collegue about who would win a spicy ramen competition between, “i don’t care that you’re built like a whale or a blob fish, it doesn’t even matter! i would win that eating competition, i’m tiny but mighty narita-san! let’s wrestle so i can show you,”

“she really called him a blob fish,” he comments amazed at how incoherent what you said sounded. “need someone to share your thoughts with?” a feminine voice made an apparition next to him

“no,” he didn’t even bother looking at the woman next to him

“oh c’mon handsome, playing hard to get?” she gets closer to him. “just take a look at me and you’ll change your mind,” she whispered

“ew you stink, get away from me,” he pushed her off him

“you’re gonna make me sad,” she tried to get closer to him again

“and i am gonna make you feel pain, get the fuck away from him,” you appeared in front of  them, pretty pissed

she looked at you up and down, scoffed “are you his mom? leave us alone, we’re having a great time,” she tried to put her hand on his thigh but he pushed it away “most definetely not,” he answers

“i am his girlfriend, so back tf off don’t make me repeat myself,” you added getting closer to them. “you really don’t wanna mess with me,”

“is she really your girlfriend?” the glue chick insisted

before he could answer you  grabbed his arm and dramtaically pressed your lips against his making all your collegues and the people around you in that club gasp.

i mean the people who don’t know you started cheering and your collegues gasped, that glue of a girl included.tsukishima couldn’t help but smirk against your lips as he wrapped his long fingers holding the back of your neck pulling you closer, it lasted until you didn’t have any more oxygen in your lungs.

he grabbed your hand and led the both of you out of the club, “but baaaabe i till get to wrestle with blob fish-kun,” you pouted

the day after was supposed to be a weekend but you’ve been called for idk what reason

needless to say everyone was off, some remembered few snippets, some thought it was their imagination

anyway, everyone knew but no one really talked it out you know ? some type of unspoken rule or whatever but no one minded

anyway back to the present moment

you’ve been tracking for months a drug network or whatever the heck it is called

after months of intense tracking, following clues, interviewing suspects, sleepless nights and living of caffeine here you were going to finally stop the mfs

and tonight was the night

all your team was ready to catch them it was a matter of hours only

“areyou ready for tonight?” asked you tsukki handing you your coffee

“of course i am, especially after practicing my aim,” he smirks. “thanks by the way,” you add, head still down readeing your reports

“hey... hey yn,” he tris to catch his attention but you just hmm in response. “tsk, dumbass,” he flicks your forehead

“ow, what ? i am busy!” you retort. “yn i know you; you’re not busy you’re stressed, everything is gonna be fine okay? you’ve got this, we’ve got this,” he held your hand

kei was not big on affacetion, he never really showed it especially in public he was more of a sarcatic remarks and teasing type of boyfriend but it never stopped him from showing affection when it was needed, like this moment. it was also not your type to show affection or feelings as you learned how to control them; it was much needed in your job. yet it didn’t bother you when each of you got out of your way to be comfort each other

you smiled at him and peckd his lips quickely before anyone could see, “you know i love you right,” you smiled at him

“well, i’d love me too. i mean who wouldn’t after all,” you roll his eyes at his smugness

“excuse me sir, but i don’t mix up between my personal and pro life. would you please stay 6 feet away from me,” you nag at him

“so petty and for what?” you stuck your tongue as an answeryou continued checking all the reports and files before you went on the spot, everyone was getting ready by now and you were alone in the office when you received a very much unexpected call

“hel-,”

“hello? please come help me i’m in depot 5, building 3, neighborhood koenji, in front of the subway station please hurry before they find me,” the call ended brutally

you place that person mentionned was familiar to you, of course it was where you were going to catch the heads of that network of drug trafficking. you quickely went with the procedure to report the call and the emergency to the central

“yuki please be quick we can’t let them go, i am going now tell the others to join me there and send more men,” you blurt quickely before taking your protection and gun and leaving

once you arrived there you parked the car where no one could see it

wearing your protection and your gun tightly held in your hands, you looked for a discrete entery where you could sneak inyou finally ended up getting in from the back stairs leading to the 3rd floor before taking the stairs to go to the depot basement

you tried your best not to make any noise, and when you heard some noise you quickely hid behind a broken furnitureyou mentally asked yourself if you team was going to be there soonyou heard the voice of many men, plastic and metal sounds, anyway; sounds you’d hear in a depot filled with drug dealers, ya know the drill

at some point you heard the sounds vanish and going awayyou waited a few minutes before you thought it was a good idea to come out your hiding spot

as you walked closer to their previous spot you stumbled into a metalic box that was on the floor, “who’s there?” you quickely hid behind a pillar

“i said who the fuck is there ?” the man shot in the air but you didn’t budge

“it’s rats, Mo’, let’s go,” another man added

great, just great yn you mentally scolded yourself

you decided to go wait for your collegues in the third floor since they would get there soon

as you saw the police car parking next to yours you hurried quietly to join them

“y/n you sick fuck they could’ve caught you,” tsukki hurries out of the car to see you

“shush! i couldn’t let them go, i wanted to make sure they didn’t leave,” you explained. “so they are there, all the heads are there. i couldn’t find the person who called thoough, and of course there are many bodyguards; 4 in the main entry, 2 in the back, i also heard there are some on the roof.” you explain when the others came in. “i got there through these strairs leading to the 3rd floor,” you add, everyone nodding

“okay so here’s how it’s gonna go,” starts daichi; since he is the captain of your team. he proceeds to explain how things are gonna go, the way you’re going to catch them ...ect

you, kei, and two others were teamed up together

the plan was going perfectly fine, everything was in order and it was bound to succeed

heads were being captured one by one, everyone getting neutralized

but nothing can go 100% fine, right ?

the four of you were going up to the roof so you can capture the guards there and finish the mission

you slightly opened the door and entered the opened space, before you could comprehend what was happening you a felt a horrible pain in your leg and a compilation of balls being shot in the air

“YN! yn, stay with me, don’t you dare close your eyes,” kei hurries to you after him and the two others had shot the guards and called back up

you felt him wrap his jacket around your thigh tightly, “yn baby please, everything is gonna be fine you-,” he gasps after he felt his hand getting wet after he took your head, his eyes widden seeing how bloody his hand was and as he realized you hurt your head when you fell due to the shock

“kei,” a feint smile appeared on your face before you succumbed to your succumbed and let your heavy eyes take a rest

“YN? YN? no, no, no, no, are they fucking coming?” he asked your teammates who nodded. “baby stay with me,” he squeezed you tighter before scooping you up and deciding it was better to take you down himself and not wait for the emergencies to come since he thought they were taking too long

                                       ༺═──────────────═༻

you woke up with a horrible headache and how your muscles felt so sore, only the febril rays of the moonlight getting through the window illuminated the room. the annoying beeping of the machine next to you increased the pounding in your head

a nurse quickly came in, “hello there, how are you feeling?” you looked at her confused, finding a difficulty in letting the words slip from your dry throat, the only thing you managed to say was ‘pain’. “it’s normal,” she proceeded to ask you a bunch of questions, checking that machine and do her work

after she left you tried to remember what happened but the last thing you could remember was when you opened the door of the rooftop, hearing bullets getting shot and that’s it

“at least i’m not dead,” you sighed, going back to sleep

you woke up due to yelling in the hallway

“i told you to call me as soon as she woke up! you had one job!” you recognized your boyfriend’s voice

“sir, sir!” the nurse called him out but he opened your door and his expression softened as he saw you awake, softly smiling at him and rolling your eyes

he hurried to you, taking your hands in his softly, “i really want to hug you, but i don’t want to hurt you,” he started. he let out a shaky sigh, “ i was so scared, i didn’t want to believe i had lost you,” he burried his face in your chest, you noticed his shoulders started shaking slightly

“hey it’s fine baby, i’m here, you can’t get rid of me easily,” you started playing with his hair. “we’re gonna be old and bitter and people are gonna say how i aged like fine one and how your wrinkles are covering your grumpy face,” you chuckled

he lifted his head to look at you, “what?” you ask, your voice in a whisper

“i love you,” he said, you smiled soflty and carressed his cheek.

“i really want to kiss you but my breath stinks,” you chuckle, he rolls his eyes. “how long has it been? you ask

“week and a half, it felt like forever,” he pressed his forehead against yours, cupping your cheek

“i’m back now, right?” you smiled. “come, ow,” you tried to make somle place for him

“omg careful dumbass,” he leaned next to you and held your hand

“how are the others?” you ask, looking at your interwined fingers

“everything is alright, we got all of them we’re done with this case,” he tried to end the topic. “i’m glad,” you voiced your thoughts

“i’m glad you’re alive,” he added. “i don’t want to be away from you, i want to spend the rest of my life with you,” surprised, you looked at him with wide eyes. “love, life is short especially with our job and i don’t want to take the risk to spend one more day without you being my wife. i want to bicker with you over the dumbest things, see you tease me back when i tease you, wake up everyday next to you and your horrible bedhead, enjoy our food together and i can keep on listing what i want to live with all day long. i know this is not the best proposal ever but i’ll make it up to you,” he balbbered all of a sudden, you just kept staring at him this whole time, tears blurring your vision but you blinked them away, the situation itself was already way too emotional for you

“so, y/l/n y/n, do you want to become old, bitter and grumpy with me?” his eyes were full of hope

“i wish i could hug you right now,” you started. “but yes, i want to!”

he cupped your cheek and kissed you deeply, he still tried not to hurt you

“but you are the one with the horrible bedhead,” you pulled away

“right, you’re the one with the stinky breath,” he teased you

“hey, are you crying? i should be the one crying,” you noticed his glossy eyes

“what are you talking about, it’s allergies, tsk,” he flicked your forehead, you winced in pain and hid your face, over exaggerating, making him worried. “didi hurt you? omg baby i’m so sorry love, i didn’t mean into, should i call the doctor?”

you finally showed your face and stuck your tongue out, “dumbass,” he smiled.

he cupped your face and pulled you into another kiss

[the-fandom-fuckup]

Kirikacchako? Please

I'm not sure if this is referencing a specific prompt from like.. An older post or not, but I've been on a bit of an au kick lately so I'm gonna use this as a plug for some of the aus/ideas I've had, so I hope that's alright ^-^

(I'd offer a doodle for your troubles but... I don't have any to offer rn gjskfksjfkak)

One of the most recent ideas I've had is Kirichako sirens x hoh/ace pirate Baku, in which Kirichako are a mated pair of sirens that travel the seas together to prey on unsuspecting sailors and Baku is a pirate that spends a bit too much time around the cannons n explosives, resulting in hearing loss over time

Upon meeting Baku for the first time Kiri n Ochako are both fascninated and peeved. Fascinated bc no one's ever looked them in the eyes during their song and resisted them like he has, and peeved bc immediately after staring at them Baku tried killing them with explosives

Like sure, they've met people on the seas that have been resistent to either their song or bodies before, but never someone who was unaffected by both. They didn't know whether to be more interested or insulted honestly

((They go with interested, but tell themselves they're insulted bc it's easier to admit))

N honestly I don't have much here, but they end up following Baku's ship around bc it has some good benefits (provides them with protection from bigger sea creatures, food from all the ships they destroy/people they fuck up), and also they just like bothering Baku until they get a reaction from him

They don't sing to him anymore, but they chitter at him n throw pretty sea trinkets up against the ship/into open cannon flaps for him to find later

The last thing I have for this idea is the courting process probably starts bc Baku tripped on the sea trinkets one too many times while carrying out his duties n gets pissed, so he goes up to the main deck to get their attention before chucking some sparkly, garbage thing back at them hoping to distract them enough to get them to fuck off. But the sirens look at their new gift and go wait... Returned gift?? A courting gift?? Which goes to kickstarts a whole new wave of bullshit lmao, rip Baku's sanity

Another idea I wanna shoehorn these guys into is my EnjiRei/TodoDeku mafia bodyguard au, but I'm not too sure on how to go about it tbh like

One one hand, I could have Kiri in with the Todorokis n Ochako in with All Might's group, and have Baku be the unsuspecting civilian just trying to live his life but has attracted the attention of both gang members, who then treat it as a rivalry of who gets Baku first but end up seeing each other as more than just rival groups when the gangs actually start working together n they get paired to run jobs, and has everyone spiralling into a mess of feelings and highjinks before leveling out to smth manageable

On another hand I could have a similar idea with Kacchako as the rivaling gang members and Kiri as the unsuspecting civilian, or maybe even some other underground member like an underground ring fighter or a runner or whatever, who gets scouted by the groups bc his reputation in the ring gets him a gig as some extra muscle or smth for an outside job

And then on the last hand I could have pre-established Kiribaku as the gang members (in the same gang this time) and Ochako as the civilian making bad deals with shady people for extra cash to try and help her family out of their shitty finacial situation, taking jobs she has no business taking (probably from the rising group that's fucking up everything for everyone else tbh) n catching the boys' attention bc "what's a pretty little thing like you doing in the sleazy part of town? Don'tcha know shit gets dangerous around here?" And they're endeared by her spunk n unwillingness to crumble under pressure so they take her under their wing to show her the ropes but also gives them their kicks bc they get off on corrupting her innocent n naive moral compass, all while being hunted by the other group bc she ditched their jobs n now has to face the consequences or smth, Idk idk

It would help if I had any understanding of how mobs/organised crime shit worked or even watched those kinds of shows/movies lmaofnakfmdjs

I'll finish it off with the modern fantasy au I've been thinking about bc I love it dearly, staring alpha werewolf Baku, alpha dragon Kiri, and bamf witch Ochako

At some point or other Baku gets the entire Bakusquad + Deku, Tetsu, Camie, and Ochako living in his packhouse bc he takes a great deal of pride in caring for his pack members and it's actually really easy for his alpha to categorise people as pack, but you'd have to pull out all his teeth before he admits it

Some of them just decided they lived there now n didn't leave, but both Kiri (+Tetsu) and Ochako were brought in by Baku bc his alpha's love language is acts of service/providing and clearly they both benefitted from the move so "why tf are you making such a big deal about it?? Just pack your shit n get it moved in, you've got a week"

Kirikacchako dance around each other hardcore in this au, to the exasperation of everyone else. The alphas try to play off their urges to provide n scentmark as subtly as possible, and since Ochako isn't aware of the meaning it goes pretty well. But literally everyone else is rolling their eyes n making bets on how long it takes them to get their shit together lmaojdidudj

A scene I have pictured for them (and the first one I came up with for this au) is Ochako going out somewhere and Kiri n Baku both casually scent her before she heads out, thinking they're all slick n shit. But as soon as she leaves Deku levels them with the most deadpan expression he can make n says "that was the least subtle thing I've ever seen in my life", and as Baku snaps n goes "I dunno what you're talking about" Kiri replies with a smug "I wasn't trying to be😏"

And like. Realistically the alphas know Ochako isn't really an omega, but she does share some traditional omega qualities that have their alphas going wild (period cycle=heat cycle, round n squishy but will fight you=strength n size for providing healthy pups + the ability to protect them, etc.) so it's understandable that their alphas would slip up n refer to her as their omega, right? Right??

It also doesn't help that after taking Ochako with them on full moon runs, she's been chatting with some of the betas n omegas there and asking how to better communicate with the boys (to avoid miscommunication, she says). But they've both marked her so much that the betas n omegas think she's their courted omega, so they teach her vocal cues n what they mean coming from an alpha, and teach her how to purr and chirp in response.

They don't think to mention the significance behind some of the cues they teach her bc why would they? Smelling as strongly as she does, there's no way those alphas aren't going to give her their bite n bond with her. Why would they need to explain some of the more provocative noises they teach her? They're just helping her for when her alphas decide it's the right time to mate her, is all

I haven't gotten around to how their tension n dancing breaks, but it does eventually n they do get together n bond and all that good stuff, and eventually they have werewolf/dragon/magic hybrid babies bc I have quirkbabes design in another au n I'm obviously dropping them into every au I possibly can bc I love them n put a lot of work into them (and they're super pretty, so I'm showing them off where ever I can assuming I actually draw smth for this au eventually rip)

And wow, this is getting kinda long n rambly so I'm gonna end it here, but I hope that this was kinda what you were looking for landkwidjdkwbf

If you wanna know more about any of the aus just let me know, I could ramble forever

Or if you have any other kirikacchako ideas you wanna hear about feel free to drop them off, I don't mind!! ^-^

[demenior]

Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 1/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

(This will be a long post. This is your only warning.)

Admittedly this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing, but I wanted to try it out for 3 reasons: 

I love talking about my own work and 

It functions really well as a self-reflective tool for me to improve on, and 

I can answer some big questions people might have because there was a LOT of worldbuilding in these stories. 

We’ll start off with reflective stuff, and move into the juicier world-building focused stuff later into the post. There will be major spoilers for both fics to come!

To begin with a funny anecdote, Why Did I Write These Stories?

I was beginning to write and work out the story that I wanted to write for Spn (what will now be To Destroy a Man. As I was writing the scene, I realized I had a LOT of ideas and while I was trying to avoid as much exposition as I could, it became quickly apparent that I was needing to create my own au (this scene eventually became chapter 34 of To Become a Man). A short prequel seemed like a good idea, to quickly hash out the ‘prior’ events that I needed to go through so all the readers could be on the same page. While plotting out prequel points, I realized Sam and Dean were going to have drastically different experiences during the same time period, and I was trying to figure out who’s pov would be better for which scenes, and how to keep momentum when they’re going through such radically different types of changes. Ultimately I decided to split their povs, which I also thought would be a fun project! And I naively assumed each pov would take about 2 chapters each, rounding out to maybe 15k total.

I had my ending points: Dean n Cas soul-merged and (basically) married, Cas on the lam from heaven and a complete anomaly, and Sam juiced up full of powers and a weird mix of archangel and antichrist but still 100% human and ready to fight God. 

Now I needed to add weight to these changes, so I wrote 200k of build-up.

Am I proud of these fics?

OF COURSE I AM!!! These are the longest fics I’ve ever written AND finished AND in the fastest freakin turnaround ever (both were finished writing, barring edits, in like 6 months holy shit)

I didn’t write a single scene that I “didn’t” want to write. If I had trouble writing it, as in it was fighting me, I scrapped it. Most obviously was the scene in Dean’s pov where he and Sam were intended to meet some other hunters and Dean declines working with them because he’s nervous about being outed as queer. It was meant to be a good scene! I wanted to introduce some new characters! But it just wasn’t working so I said ‘thank you, next!’. 

But it means this story was an absolute joy to write. Because for a while all I was doing was ‘if I wanted to write one scene into supernatural, what would I write?’ and then just DID that!! It’s why there’s a lot of ‘Salmondean do dumb shit or have really dumb heartfelt conversations’ scenes.

Would I change anything?

If I’d been less eager to start sharing, I might have planned out the story beats a little tighter so there were less ‘soft’ chapters and a draw/pull for people to come back and keep reading. I felt Dean’s story specifically lagged at points and could have used some tighter editing (there was a noticeable lull in directed movement between Dean n Cas getting together, until Sam corrupts Amy).

I also probably would have held Sam’s story until I’d finished Dean’s so I could make the two line up better! Probably could have inserted more scenes into Sam’s fic that way, and made sure things were a little more consistent. In an ideal world one concept I had was to release 1 chapter from each pov every week that would correspond to the same time frame so we’d be getting real-time SalmonDean pov narrative. Unfortunately that didn’t work!

The biggest takeaway overall is for me to focus more on what moves the plot, and to make my scenes do more than 1 thing so I can cut down on wordcount and increase my efficiency. 

Of course every writer will find things they want to fix in anything they’ve ever written, so these are minor “mistakes” at best. I’m so dang proud of these fics. 

Onto more interesting things!

How Did I Put These Fics Together (because it’s different than anything I’ve ever done before)

Normally when I write a story, I plan out the beats I need to hit, see where I need to insert any kind of foreshadowing/buildup, and then write from A to B to C and so on and so forth. Hence, this is why I can normally post things as I complete chapters, because it’s all a linear progression. 

For these two stories, rather than linear plot/a normal story structure, I just sat and free-wrote any and every scene that came to mind and then pieced them into a kinda-linear form like putting a quilt together. You’ll note that this is why there’s not a lot of internal callback or a feeling of sense of time flowing within the fic (save for points where I went back and specifically edited it in). How long does the story take place over? Hard to say! Your author has the barest grasp on linear time even on a good day (how many times did I say ‘see you on [wrong day]’ at the end of chapters lmaaoooo)

This also meant EXTENSIVE editing on the back end once I decided in what order I wanted my ‘quilt pieces’ to be. Hard to say if this is a bonus or a negative!

But I did want to try and capture the vibe of the lives they lead, as a bit of a ‘slice of life’-style story, when the slice of life is the profound weirdness of the Winchester roaming life, and how things are status quo- until everyone almost dies oh shit!! And then they have to keep living because no therapy we die/undie like Winchesters. Do I think I captured this effectively? Hmm. Good question. 

Dem where the FUCK did the inspiration for a lot of the magic and creature weirdness even come from?

Honestly? Music, primarily. And completely mishearing lyrics!

Nightwish ‘Ever Dream’: the line is ‘my song can but borrow you grace’ and because my brain is scrambled eggs on a good day, I heard ‘grace’ ‘song’ and ‘borrow’ in that order and have had, for YEARS, the mental image of Cas borrowing Dean’s soul to power himself up for battle.

From there I’ve always been enamored with the ‘wavelength of celestial intent’ descriptor that Cas drops in s6 for “what he is”. 

I also really like ocean metaphors mostly because I’ve been obsessed with the ocean and things in it since I was like… 5??? So really this was me just rolling with what I know lmao. I love using (somewhat) accurate scientific metaphors for very intangible things!

I was also finishing my degree in biology/ecology while writing these fics and I think it shows

Stars ‘The Night Starts Here’ gives us the series title and the fic titles. Except for ‘To Exist Again’. TEA was almost titled ‘The Upwards Fall’ because I wanted all 3 of the Main Stories to have titles from this song, but I couldn’t make anything else work in tandem with the series name ‘The Love It Takes’ while also working for Sam’s personal story. So Sam, as always, is the rebel <3

Stars ‘Up In Our Bedroom, After The War’ is basically the vibes of the whole story. TFW has been, literally, to hell and back!!! There’s a bit of melancholy and sadness, a lingering dark, but the chance of a bright new tomorrow and a soft start.

Let’s Talk About Themes in The Story! What were you looking to accomplish? 

My earliest notes for TFW are, as follows:

Dean’s journey of self-discovery (who am I when I’m not trying to be Dad?)

Dean wants to settle down! He wants a big family! He wants to be domestic!

Basically: Dean doesn’t want to have a short life of hunting. He wants to live!

Dean’s journey of realizing he’s bi, and him accepting that

Dean’s relationship to Sam is both older brother/parent 

And continuing Dean balancing these roles while also letting Sam be an adult 

Dean’s Big Issues/Fears about never being good enough for people to want to stay with him (these are effectively highlighted in that Cas thinks he’s not useful enough to be wanted)

Sub Plot:

Castiel’s autonomy

Cas’ fall from grace, to trying to restore Heaven, to wrecking it further

He’s majorly depressed by the end of s7 (before purgatory)

Wants to stay in Purgatory but doesn’t tell Dean

Remains depressed after leaving, but resolved to keep living on because he’s clearly meant for something

After the seraphim reveal: does he have free will?! How does he grapple with this? How does he live in a way he can be proud of?

And lastly

Sam gets his powers back CAUSE THATS HOT

where tf did they go????

he got them from Lucifer?????

sleeper agent??????

Sam is The Chosen One

Accepts that he is More Than Human and to celebrate all parts of him

Lucifer and Sam friends?? Work together????

Sam needs autonomy in his choices/his life

If you compare these to the overall arc of TFW within the two stories, I think I got a lot of them! But you’ll also note a lot of these things aren’t concrete goals that are easily measurable (ex: Dean wants to learn to bake pie. In chapter 1 he starts a fire in the kitchen. By the end of the story he finally makes A Good Pie.) part of the lack of concrete milestones was why I felt it was important to tell Dean (and Cas’) story by going back to the point they meet, in s4! Dean’s gradual change towards his feelings for Cas, his relationship to Sam (heavily influenced by the s7 events of this fic) and then his own relationship with himself were such slow burns that I felt it would be a disservice to try and cram a change like that into a timeline like “1 year”.

I felt like these subtle changes and adjustments actually felt a lot truer to life-- people often change in very small, gradual ways over time, even without realizing it and often times not consistently! If only we could all gain skills like the sims, where we can easily level up and remain at that high level of performance! 

So the Guy Who Ate Satan, A Celestial Nuke that Developed Sentience, and Dean walk into a bar…

Sam’s story in Spn The Show has always been a ‘chosen one’ kind of narrative. Sam is living with one foot in the realm of the monsters, and I wanted to bring that back full force! It really makes sense for him that he should only continue to grow in power, might, and magic!! As the story progresses.

Cas also got a power up! I do desperately love in the show that he was kind of a grunt/nothing angel, and so even when he defected to TFW he was a huge help for them, but in the scale of things he was an annoying fly to most other angels. It really worked for the underdog story of s4/5. In this I wanted to give him a power up, and originally it was actually going to be close contact with Sam that eventually changed Cas into something unknown (you can still see traces of this in ch34 of TBAM, where Death remarks ‘Castiel could be [Sam’s] first creation’. But for a combo of reasons: how Sam’s magic needed to have intent, the entire concept of free will and consent, and how much I wanted Dean and Cas to have their effect on each other, I decided to go with the route that Cas has actually always been something angel-adjacent rather than becoming something new. TFW/Supernatural has always been about free will and making your own story, so I amplified that with Cas.

Dean has always been A Normal Guy, which is part of the appeal of him and Sam (2 normal dudes!) taking on the Very Not Normal. As explained above, Sam’s story is ‘normal guy finds out he’s the chosen one’ and so, in a story about very large concepts and huge monsters and acts of magic, I felt it was very important to keep Dean as normal as possible. To the point it became a running gag to me, personally, in that ‘no matter what cool shit happens around him, Dean has to stay as Just A Guy’. And it’s a very humanizing role that allows the story to have the scale it does!

What were the most important themes in your story?

Sam’s Autonomy

I wasn’t even going to include the plot about Lucifer’s death in this story— that was going to come up in a later story, actually! And rather than Sam having ate Lucifer, the original idea was that they’d become a SamandLucifer entity (this harkens back to a concept I wanted to write when Swan Song first aired). 

That storyline would have involved a lot of mental ‘Sam and Lucifer discuss what it means to live, which one of them is more worthy of life and if they do deserve to destroy the world for the pain they’ve been forced to go through, just to create the dichotomy of good and evil for everyone else’ discussions. There would be a lot of talk about how Sam hates and fears Lucifer for the pain Lucifer put on Sam, how Lucifer hates Sam because he and Sam are the same but Sam’s brother loves him anyways, etc. 

Ultimately that was scrapped because Sam’s entire story in the show is always about how the world and everyone around him manipulates him and that he never actually gets to make choices about his own life or body that aren’t influenced or part of someone elses’ design. And that always bothered me that Sam was never allowed to be himself without having to be ashamed of it, and I wanted to make sure that Sam’s triumph of being proud of himself/proudly choosing to exist (again) was evident in his story

In the end I needed Sam to have this visceral win over his tormentor. As the story shows, in this case Lucifer was abused and put into a position where he was incapable of empathy and could only express himself in violence. Sam even understands this! But it doesn’t change the fact that Lucifer tortured Sam in unimaginable ways for thousands of years. 

With that in mind I didn’t like the idea of Lucifer and Sam having “co-ownership” of their new identity, so I made the choice that Sam had to be the survivor. This tied in well with Sam’s new crusade to restore free will to the universe, because he’s breaking the narrative of his own story!

While Castiel wasn’t a pov character, his own autonomy and free will was equally as important. You’ll note that many, many paragraphs and conversations revolved around that theme and that in the end Cas followed himself (and love!) which ensured his freedom of self <3

The Brothers are WEIRD PEOPLE!!!! And Codependent to a Worrying Degree, but It’s Also How They Survive

It’s very hard to show “unusual” relationships when you’re writing from the pov of the two people who don’t think there’s anything weird about their relationship. Sure, they say ‘yeah it’s probably weird that we still share a bed’ but that’s kinda more in line with ‘I had a nightmare and I want to be close to the person who makes me feel safe’. Hashtag normalize co-sleeping when you need it!!!

From there I did try to point out how the boys have a weird perception of lifestyle in the little things they did. 

From thrifting everything from clothes to appliances to books (thrifting is a valid lifestyle! It’s incredibly handy when you’re on a budget.) 

To never actually having condiments or knowing how to use a dishwasher cause they’ve lived in a car, a motel room, or squatted in old houses their whole life.

I tried to have them wear each others’ clothes or casually swap things as much as possible. They live out of each others’ pockets!

Also the brothers are just weird people!! It’s hard to show from their pov, cause they don’t know how far off from normal they are, but like…

Everything about Sam and Amelia was NOT right like holy shit those two were wilding in their grief. They are very lucky things worked out for them and that they got to be hashtag Weird Girls together

Dean explicitly, in the story, gets horny after killing stuff!! Violence has done a number on his psyche and he’s gotten some wires crossed that maybe shouldn’t have been, or maybe could be worked out in a safe space but… uh… how likely do we think Dean is gonna go find a safe space to deal with any of his shit???

LOVE!!! Love is truly what this whole story is all about

If you’ve read the stories, you know how much emphasis I put on love. Love is the strongest force in the Spn Universe! It’s what averted the apocalypse and saved the world (Swan Song), it’s what created free will (Cas’ entire arc!) I love love!!!!

I went out of my way to not put any definitions on platonic love vs romantic love because I think love is love is love and how you express that is the difference. Neither is more powerful than the other because LOVE is powerful!! Sam and Cas are the most important people in Dean’s life and he loves them equally! He shows this by giving Cas kisses and stealing Sam’s socks.

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when I have to hear explanations like ‘I love you, like a brother’ or ‘I love you, but like, as a friend because I’m a lesbian and you’re a man’ etc etc in media. If you have to continuously define how your characters love each other, then I don’t think you’re doing a good job of portraying their relationship. So you’ll see that I never put those parameters in any conversation. Dean DOES muse that he loves Cas differently than he loves Sam or Bobby, specifically because there is a romantic and sexual tone that his feelings for Cas takes, but not because he loves Cas more or less than he loves Sam or Bobby.

Which means, if you haven’t realized it yet, the Series + Fic Titles are meant to be a complete sentence because the power of love IS the thesis of this series:

The Love It Takes To Exist Again (Sam’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Become a Man (Dean’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Destroy a Man (TBA)

And now for fun stuff. Behind the scenes!!

What’s Something People Probably Don’t Know?

The demonic fungal/hydrothermal vent growth on Sam’s arm was thrown in literally as I was posting the chapter because I had just finished a 48 hour cram session of writing a report on tube worms for an ecology class (I was chanting my tube worm song as I wrote it) and it ended up being a HUGE hit with both readers and myself. But it was so last minute I had trouble fitting it in more throughout the rest of Sam’s story!

Cas’ orders? That may or may not have bound him to Dean and removed his free will? Were written into Sam’s story and I went ‘oh SHIT that’s compelling’ and then left them there as a ‘guess I’ll figure that out when I get to Dean’s story lol’

Originally Dean and Cas were supposed to get together after having their souls bonded, and have been in a UST limbo the entire time before that. Mostly because I think the entire concept of ‘we just got married of the soul I guess we should try dating?’ is very funny. CLEARLY the two of them were way more eager to fall in love than I anticipated (thank you Cas for your honesty) but you can still see shades of this original idea here and there (especially in ch35 of TBAM)

I never intended Dean and Benny to connect so well!! Benny was going to reunite with Andrea, she was going to live, and they were going to go off into the world and leave the story. And, uh, here we are. I’m still debating if I need to adjust the relationship tag or not haha. Polyamory is fun, especially when I was planning for Sam to be the polyamorous brother...

Speaking of, I can’t believe I forgot about Sam and his sexuality! If I rewrote TEA I would have had Sam contemplate more on his lack of sexual appetite due to trauma, up until he meets Benny and he gets to rediscover how he wants to be a sexual person

Many of Sam and Dean’s absolutely stupid sibling conversations were lifted near-verbatim from conversations I’ve had with my siblings

And lastly...

Dem where’s Kevin????????????? Where is our sweet baby boy????????

He’s SAFE!! He’s in the Hunter pipeline somewhere cause Sam handed him off to Bobby’s people. He and his mom are safe and at some point they probably got rib sigils like SalmonDean did against angels, but for demons. I didn’t have room in this story for him!!! But my baby boy is SAFE and I want to get him back to university because it’s WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!

To that point: god there were/are SO many characters that I just didn’t include in the story so far because I didn’t feel comfortable including them without stalling the story for them. To that point: pretty much everyone who is alive/dead in s8 is that way in this story, except Bobby who gets to live.

[Check Out Part 2 for reader questions!]

[panharmonium]

I would like to add Gwaine to the list of friends Merlin had. Especially in the 3/4 seasons he really was ride or die for Merlin, they shared intimate details with each other, they truly trusted each other. There were instances where the show alluded that Gwaine knows about Merlin's magic and is fine with it.

hi there!  i’m assuming this is in response to the post i reblogged about will and lancelot being merlin’s only “real” friends?  

i’m actually happy to write about this, now that the question has been posed - it’s been a while since i wrote anything long about gwaine!

fair warning in advance: i don’t personally classify gwaine the same way i do will and lancelot, and that’s what this piece will cover in more detail, but these are just my own thoughts, and it is totally cool for everybody else to have different opinions.  my take is my take, but it does not have to be everyone’s take - if people wanna scroll past because this isn’t their vibe, i don’t mind in the slightest. :)

so, without further ado - i LOVE gwaine, and i have written extensively about how amazing his relationship with merlin is (some examples here, here, here, and here, if anybody’s looking).  he is the most likely of all merlin’s living friends to ditch arthur in the name of addressing merlin’s needs, which is super important, and he also has a much healthier friendship with merlin than arthur does (in my own personal opinion, of course, which nobody is obligated to share).  he definitely does go ride or die for merlin in S3/S4, i agree.

but my own thoughts on this particular point are still the same as they were in that original post.  i tend to hide my clarifications/explanations in the tags, so they might have flown by, but i’ll just copy/paste the relevant bit here for ease of access, as some background for the rest of this post.

re: will and lancelot were merlin’s only ‘real’ friends:

#what this does not mean: merlin has no other friends!  merlin doesn't have meaningful and important relationships with other people!   #what it does mean:  #every single one of merlin's other relationships is undergirded by the sickening knowledge that those friendships are conditional   #every single one of his other relationships is accompanied by the constant undercurrent of 'they would hate me if they knew'   #merlin knows his friends 'care' about him   #except they don't really; because it's not truly him they're caring about   #they care deeply - about someone merlin made up   #about a facade.   #in the most basic sense   #those relationships aren't Real   #the love merlin feels for the people in them is real   #but you cannot truly be 'friends' with somebody who doesn't even know who you are   #you cannot be loved without being known   #you certainly cannot be loved without being safe

obviously i suppose a person’s thoughts on this would be different if they headcanoned that gwaine knew about merlin’s magic, and that’s fine.  i personally do not believe canon indicates or supports that, but i’m not out to convince people to abandon their own fanon interpretations of things; i’m happy just hanging out in my own space talking about my thoughts.  me writing meta is the virtual equivalent of me talking to myself in my room - if other people have different conversations with themselves, that’s fine :)  i don’t mind if other folks organize their thoughts about things differently.  

in accordance with that - everybody please feel free to continue on with your own interpretations, and ignore mine if mine do not appeal to you!  if people are interested about how i organize my ideas on this, though, they are essentially as follows:

1) a cage fighter, a class traitor, and a fake sorcerer walk into a tavern

ok, to start with - here’s a graph.

(...who tf starts a meta post with ‘here’s a graph’ lol i just drew a venn diagram for the first time since like...middle school...i LOVE fandom, man, this is RIDICULOUS)

anyway

this is a very rough interpretation of how i think about gwaine, lancelot, and will:

to address some of these elements individually:

lancelot and will give merlin something that gwaine can’t - safety, authenticity, the comfort of being known and seen for real, a respite from constantly qualifying every friendship with ‘they would hate me if they knew’

lancelot and gwaine, likewise, give merlin something merlin wouldn’t be as likely to get from will (if will were still alive, i mean) - an understanding of merlin’s devotion to the Crown, a supportive ally in the fight to promote arthur’s reign and keep arthur/camelot safe

will and gwaine, for their part, are more likely to tell arthur to go fuck himself, if it’s important for helping merlin, and that’s a different kind of support that merlin also really needs.

and will, on his own, gives merlin something that neither lancelot NOR gwaine can provide, which is a friend who isn’t connected to or even particularly interested in arthur pendragon (merlin has nobody in his life like this, not after will dies) - somebody who knew and cared about merlin before merlin had any proximity to arthur, before this whole ’destiny’ issue reared its merciless head.

everybody in merlin’s life matters to him and gives him something important.  gwaine is STUPIDLY important to merlin.  the love there is real.  but in canon, because gwaine is not in the know, gwaine is still one of the people from whom merlin feels compelled to hide himself.  gwaine is right up there alongside gwen, arthur, elyan, percival, etc - every other person who merlin loves, who merlin nonetheless constantly, back-of-his-mind fears, ‘they would reject me if they knew.’

the above is part of why i personally have never been too interested in ‘so-and-so knows about merlin’s magic’ canon-imaginings.  there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them, and i’m sure people must have tons of fun with them - and in an AU context maybe i would have fun with them too - but as hopeful interpretations of actual canon, they don’t appeal to me.  merlin’s near-total isolation and desperate, constantly-frustrated desire for real, honest love is an inalienable aspect of his character for me, one i can’t separate from who he is and why he does the things he does and why he eventually ends up in the place where we find him towards the end of the show.  

2) i just want someone to see me for who i am

i have seen a bit of sentiment out there along the lines of ‘merlin should have told (x person) about their magic’ or ‘(x person) obviously doesn’t have a problem with sorcerers,’ but i guess i personally don’t think it’s as clear as all that, and i think me saying it is would be doing merlin a disservice.

merlin’s desire to be seen/known/accepted is literally the most base urge he has.  if he truly thought he could tell somebody safely, he would.

i think merlin knows the people in his orbit well enough to know how they feel about sorcery, at least in a general sense.  and even if they aren’t bloodthirsty bigots like uther, they aren’t exactly welcoming magic with open arms, either.  at the most basic, elementary level, merlin understands something that we don’t like to think about: none of his friends ever challenge arthur on the sorcery ban or express any dissatisfaction with the political status quo, and, even absent outright bigotry, this fact speaks loudly enough in and of itself.  merlin’s friends might not be out clamoring for sorcerers’ blood, but they aren’t criticizing a society that criminalizes sorcery, either, and they are never shown to have a problem with the way things are, even though the way things are is wrong.

The Way Things Are is, in fact, unjust.  it’s oppressive.  and allowing that state of affairs to continue, unquestioned and unchallenged, when you have access to the king’s ear and aren’t personally in danger of being persecuted, indicates that you’re okay with the injustice.  that you’re comfortable with the oppression.  that you don’t see a problem with the status quo, and that you're unbothered enough by it to let it be.

it doesn’t matter that merlin’s friends have never straight-up said ‘boy, magic sure is evil’ onscreen.  they never say that camelot’s policies are wrong, and that delivers a clear enough message on its own.

3) it is not a crime to fight for your freedom

to bring this back to gwaine specifically, since that was originally the focus of this ask -

for me, for all that i adore gwaine, and for all that i think he was, for the most part, an INCREDIBLY sound, healthy relationship for merlin, the truth is that gwaine is as much a part of this problem as everyone else.  does that mean i personally think gwaine would have summarily dumped merlin if he’d found out merlin had magic?  no.  but i don’t think it’s as uncomplicated as maybe we wish it might be, and i think merlin has every right to be as uncertain of gwaine on this issue as he does of everyone else.

for one thing, like i said before, even gwaine, who used to have fewer qualms than any of the knights about pushing back on arthur’s BS, has never said a word about camelot’s injustices, or ever acknowledged that the laws of the land are unjust to begin with.  

for another, there are specific moments that kind of make you wonder.

5.05 (’the disir’) is a good example of this - when gwaine finds osgar in the woods, the two of them have this exchange:

you are a sorcerer, a heretic, and a murderer.  

the rhetoric of this sentence frames all three of these things as equivalent entities - criminal ones.  

to pick this apart more carefully:

a) sorcerer

it’s worth noting here that we’re never told osgar has done anything worse than evading arrest for the crime of being a known sorcerer.  when leon mentions him in the council meeting, the conversation consists solely of the following:

“as you know, a few days ago our garrison in the forest of breckfire intercepted the man who goes by the name of osgar.”

“the sorcerer.”

“the same.  they were trying to apprehend him when he used his powers to escape.”

and…that’s it.  osgar’s crime, as far as we know, was simply being a sorcerer (and then, after that, attempting to escape an unjust arrest, thereby killing a knight in the process).  there’s no mention of any other activities that would have warranted his arrest in the first place, other than the possession of magic.

but magic, even on its own, IS a crime in camelot - and gwaine levels the accusation at osgar as such.

b) heretic

that’s a hell of a word to throw around, if you think sorcery is chill.

“heretic” isn’t a mild accusation.  "heretic” has vitriolic severity behind it.  people are accused of heresy when they’re perceived to be in brazen defiance of what is (in the eyes of the accuser) unquestionably right and correct.  “heretic” is like…it’s like blasphemer.  the connotation is not just that something is bad, but that it’s sinful.

for gwaine, either osgar’s association with sorcery and/or his defiance of camelot’s army makes him a heretic.  and that’s not something a person who is down with sorcery or supportive of a magic-user’s struggle for freedom would say.

c) murderer

if gwaine were cool with sorcery, we would expect him to understand that a sorcerer who resisted arrest for the crime of being a sorcerer isn’t a murderer.  

it’s like kara said in 5.11 - it is not a crime to fight for the right to be who you are.

camelot has been killing sorcerers for decades.  osgar mortally wounded a soldier (not an innocent civilian, i might note) who was trying to imprison him.  he was resisting the armed forces of an oppressive state.  that’s not murder.

somebody who understands that camelot is an oppressive regime wouldn’t think of this as murder.  they would understand that it is not a crime to protect your own life when the state has literally been trying to exterminate your people for years.  and even if osgar had been engaged in rebellious activities against the state (which as far as we know is not the case - nothing like this is ever referenced!), they would understand that people with magic have long been overdue for a righteous uprising.  

but gwaine is a little more like arthur, in this moment - he sees the “wrong” that osgar has done (in the form of sir ranulf’s death) without seeing the thousands upon thousands of wrongs that camelot visited upon the magical community first.

4) you can’t go armed into a sacred place

the rest of this episode is similar.  gwaine pays just as little heed to merlin’s warnings as the rest of the knights, when merlin admonishes them that the disir’s cave is sacred.  gwaine doesn’t relinquish his sword or take special care upon entering the cave.  in fact, he is the one who outright interrupts the disir while they’re speaking - as they’re telling arthur a series of hard truths, that he’s persecuted magic-users, “even unto slaughter;” that he’s desecrated their space: “you come here, to the most sacred of the sacred, to the very heart of the Old Religion, with weapons drawn - trampling hallowed relics - treating our sacred space like you do your kingdom - with arrogance - with conceit - with insolence - ”

and gwaine cuts them off, pushing to the front of the group and shouting at them “enough!  you speak of the king!”  and that’s when the fight starts, when mordred gets stabbed.

someone who was fully accepting of magic, or who knew anything about it at all, would not have behaved this way.  they would not have bristled at hearing how arthur’s regime unfairly persecutes the magical community.  they would have known that it was true.

5) i just want to be myself

the above is just one example, but it’s a clear enough one to illustrate what i mean.  gwaine IS an amazing friend to merlin.  he does treat merlin well.  and merlin loves him to death.  but gwaine is NOT totally chill with magic.  i’m not saying he actively hates it, but he is not, from what merlin has witnessed, entirely safe.  merlin loves him, but he can’t be himself around him.

and i do think that pains merlin terribly.  all these people who he loves so much, and every time he’s with them there’s always that whisper: ‘this is a charade.  all the love in my life is a lie.  they only like me because they don’t know me.  if they knew who i really was, this would be over.’  

and we wonder why he never tells anyone.  we tell him he ‘should’ have told gwaine, gwen, morgana, arthur, like it would have been easy, or even possible, for him to ever consider putting himself in a position where he could lose what precarious, partially make-believe connections he has.

merlin, in the later seasons, when he worries about his magic being exposed, isn’t afraid of being executed.  he’s afraid of becoming even more alone than he is now.  and he has good reason to feel that way - even people who appear to put him first aren’t fully on board with the thing that makes him who he is.  and merlin knows this.  he’s seen it.  none of his friends are out fighting for people like him at court.  some of his friends shake their heads and assure arthur “you are a good and just king” when arthur expresses concern that maybe the disir are right, maybe he has indeed transgressed.  some of merlin’s friends used to buck the system in defense of the powerless, but now they defend the regime even when the accusations levelled against it by an oppressed population are true.

merlin knows that revealing himself is a kind of risk that could very plausibly end with him utterly disowned.  every single friendship he has is subject to this justified fear, this bitter knowledge.  merlin has every reason to doubt the soundness of his relationships.

and, circling back to the thing that started all these musings - the only friends who never made him feel that way were will and lancelot.

that’s all i mean when i say that will and lancelot were merlin’s only “real” friends.  i wish there were a better word to use than that, because i really don’t mean it like…as if merlin’s relationships with other people weren’t…valid, or important, or based on true love and care.  they were.  but there’s just not a better way to express that will and lancelot were the only people who ever even knew who they were friends with, who saw merlin for exactly who he was and said “i love you still.”  they were the only ones whose friendship was something merlin didn’t have to be afraid of losing solely for existing.

i always think of morgana’s line in 2.11 - ‘i don’t want to be brave.  i just want to be myself. i don’t want to be alone anymore.’

around everyone else, merlin has to be brave.  he has to keep up the pretense, which means even when he’s surrounded by friends, he’s completely isolated.

with will and lancelot, though, he could be himself.  with will and lancelot, he wasn’t alone.

6) post-script

i really appreciate being given the opportunity to muse to myself about this in more detail - i actually needed to think through some things regarding gwaine anyway, for writing purposes, and this was actually really helpful in organizing my brain.  so thanks, anon, for the prompt!  

i know my answer probably runs counter to your own interpretation of things, but as i said, this is just my own personal outlook.  i typed it up because the message got me thinking, and because i know i have a couple of friends who might find it interesting, but my thoughts apply only to me, and i do not mind at all if folks think about these things differently!  nobody is obligated to agree with anything i write, or give it any further thought, or even read it at all - we’re all going to engage with this story in different ways, so if anybody finds that this isn’t their cup of tea, please feel free to scroll on by, and keep having fun with this show in whatever way makes you happiest! :)

[onyourzeus]

• stress-free | kwp

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: stress-free pairing: kim wonpil (of day6) & you (she/her pronouns) genre: FLUFF, college!au words: 3.4k

author’s note: @pirimiritiddy​ requested a fic about wonpil, and here it is. it went on for longer than i previously planned, buuuuut. i hope it’s still okay aaaa 

(this is the 1st time i’ve written something for wonpil so if i get his personality wrong, i do apologize. i am also a baby myday huhu)

this dot fic (bullet style) is part of the falling asleep on the bus scenario that i intend to write for each day6 member. check out the others: dowoon (currently only 2/5 completed)

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

wonpil hates his schedule for this winter term 

who assigns a class that is only available at seven in the evening??

3 times a week

during THE WINTER

did he mention it’s a major lecture he’s required to take?? 

psychology of stress, more like

this class is giving him the kind of stress it is specifically warning its students about 

anyway, what can he say. he chose this major, there’s only 1 more term after this one and then finally: graduation

it’ll be fine, he’ll live

thank the heavens they didn’t need to attend the first two meetings, but some reading material was provided 

and was expected by the professor to have been read and reflected upon 

the class is really living up to its name because when wonpil opened the pdf 

it was 30 pages of tiny font sized sentences (for ants!) about the definition of stress and how it affects every part of the body yada yada yada

wonpil tried. he really tried 

that is to say he fell asleep on his desk while going over the same 20th page of the document 

if it weren’t for jae shaking him awake, he’d miss his first night class 

it would’ve been nice… if only the professor didn’t take attendance (something about being generous enough to make the first 2 classes “free,” so everyone has an obligation to come in for the remainder of the semester)

great, he’s stuck freezing his ass off just walking to the bus stop alone 

hopefully they turn the heater all the way up in the auditorium or else

the thousands spent in tuition would have literally been for nothing

overdramatic wonpil, can you blame him 

he thinks about reading the remaining 10 pages on the bus, even if he knows nothing of value will be absorbed

he wants to tries anyway, he does feel a little bit refreshed from that impromptu nap 

the bus has arrived, and it’s packed as usual; a lot of the students riding the shuttle are just yet to take off in the following stops

wonpil squeezes his way inside, 30 pages of stress psychology research gripped in both hands 

“excuse me, sorry,” wonpil mumbles, eyeing for a spot to sit to make him comfortable 

because once all the people standing up leave, it’s usually a race for the exit 

he’ll never understand college students

finally, he sees an empty seat way in the back. there was a girl on one end and two other students who seem to be ready to get off on the right side

wonpil doesn’t mind sitting next to someone, but once those 2 are gone he’ll just scoot over to give the girl on the left some privacy 

she seems very much in deep sleep anyway, wonpil wonders if her stop is coming or she’s riding to go to campus? 

wonpil doesn’t have time to think about other people, it causes him unnecessary stress

once sat down, his eyes focus on the last page he left off of 

the words register as gibberish in his brain, and with the bus moving so much it makes it even more difficult to follow along the paragraphs

wonpil takes in a deep breath, holds it in, and sighs very heavily 

his patience is usually the best out of his friends, but this class is turning more and more into the psychology of how to get you stressed tf out instead 

the bus nears its next stop, and the two people on his side stand up to leave, yes he can breathe normal air

however

hold on

his shoulder feels heavy 

turning his head slightly, for some reason once the bus had stopped its engine the girl’s head had flipped over to lean against wonpil’s shoulder instead 

oh no oh no oh no 

his shoulders suddenly freeze, as if blasted with a ray gun filled with ice 

it’s heavy and he can’t move, it’s numb and this girl’s hair is splayed all over his his sweater 

and she

she smells of coffee, and wonpil inhales it in

it’s not foul or anything, but it’s definitely exuding notes of espresso bean and freshly roasted coffee 

it makes wonpil feel a little more awake 

but he still can’t move his shoulders, and suddenly he’s panicking because the bus started moving again and even though capacity has lessened by 80%

someone decided to sit on the other end of the row he’s at

so if he even attempts to move, he’ll still be seated next to someone 

wonpil grumbles, lower lip jutting forward

something shifts

and he realizes he shook his shoulders a little bit with his frustration

“ah…” he exclaims inaudibly, panicking at the possibility that he had woken her up from her nap

wonpil tenses up, shoulders stiff and eyes peering at his side to see what she’s up to

she lifts her head just a few inches off of wonpil’s shoulder, and for a moment he’s relieved that maybe she realizes what’s going on

but wonpil only hears a soft yawn coming from her, and she returns to using his very rigid shoulder as her pillow during this bus ride

let’s just say that the next thirteen minutes was more stress-inducing than wonpil wanted it to be

right when the bus reaches the final stop (main campus), wonpil exerts any and all efforts he has to shake his shoulder, up and down, enough to elicit an awake response from this stranger 

the moment he feels her let up, wonpil dashes through that bus door like there’s no tomorrow

he is greeted with the coldest wind hitting his face, and his shoulder feeling numb from all the.. pillow roleplaying it did, if you will 

wonpil feels bad, borderline guilty for leaving her like that— what if she’s asleep until now?? he can almost hear soft snores from her end for a minute there, too, and it took so much of wonpil to resist chuckling at it while in panic mode simultaneously

suffice to say, he was not able to read the rest of the document

in wonpil’s defense, he had encountered it first hand — how stress overcomes one’s body and mind 

he forces himself to focus on what’s ahead, as boring as it sounds

he enters the lecture hall with a few minutes so spare, deciding to sit in the back

the projector screens are big and wonpil is not about to take his chances of getting called on today

luckily enough, he finds a row with visibly no other student sitting around the area 

shoulder feeling more alive, he comes back to his senses as well 

he takes off his outer sweater as it had become toastier inside. he still had a couple layers beneath his clothes

as the professor starts talking, wonpil finds himself yawning a few times

he doesn’t know if the video playing on screen is boring him or the girl in the bus affected his sleepiness

suddenly he remembers the smell of coffee, and how that’d sound real good right about now 

he slaps both of his cheeks lightly, trying to take him back in the zone of at least writing down important notes 

he’s on the fifth bullet point of his note-taking when the door behind him opens abruptly

it wasn’t loud or disrupting to the whole class, virtually no one even batted an eye

but thats because they’re far from the door

and wonpil is literally ten feet away, so when he feels the cold suddenly hit his back he had to know the source of the sudden hit in temperature

the class hadn’t been going on for less than an hour, and there have been students coming in on the other end of the auditorium

so wonpil isn’t that surprised that another student has just arrived 

he caught a glimpse of her hair, but that’s about it as wonpil goes back to his tedious notes 

until the very same person scoots herself in wonpil’s row

he huffs under his breath, the illusion of some privacy now shattered 

with a polite (semi-forced) smile, wonpil turns to the side to greet his classmate

again, wonpil becomes frozen in spot 

kind of like when you feel a magnetic pull somewhere, you follow it

and then suddenly you see it from afar, not believing your eyes if it’s actually real; if it’s actually there

in wonpil’s case, he’s one seat away from her

recognizing the flow of her hair, but more importantly

that distinct scent of coffee beans from her clothes 

this time, wonpil has a clear look on her face and he’s… speechless 

his polite smile has turned into a look of awe, eyes glued towards her 

she senses his gaze, turns to him and quickly bows down as a polite greeting 

“sorry, but has the class been going on for a while?” 

she speaks 

“oh, um, what— what?” 

“oh,” she looks confused, but rephrases her question, “what time did the class start? i had a hard time finding this lecture hall.” 

she’s talking to him, not just leaning her head on his shoulder

“seven” 

was all wonpil could say 

“it started at 7? cool, i’m not that late then!” she cheers, grinning shyly. wonpil watches the way she puts a strand of hair tucked beneath her ear. she’s pulling out her laptop from her bag when she notices a pair of wide eyes still on her person

“is… is this seat taken?” she asks, and wonpil hasn’t even taken in the fact that this is the same person from the bus 

“yes” 

tongue-tied wonpil strikes again, blinking back his own obliviousness to her question

“i mean— no, now it is, by you. you’re sitting there, um, i— feel free to sit wherever you want”

he’s scrambling for his words, flustered cheeks heating up amidst the warmth of the room

she just nods her head in understanding, and wonpil finally realizes he’s been staring at her direction for longer than he should have

“STRESS” 

the professor verbalized into her mic which causes wonpil to look to the front all of a sudden 

right, right. he’s at a lecture. what’s gotten him so fidgety and embarrassed and now all that he’s pretending to type on his google doc is

sdfjfjdfhshllsghgjghsh

just so he looks busy next to the girl who fell asleep on him on the bus

was there any point in preoccupying his mind with thoughts of her, and her head resting on him? no it’s stupid, wonpil knows this. 

people do it all the time, by accident, due to exhaustion, they don’t mean a thing by it

but wonpil is curious, and this is going to kill him. for sure

so he peeks at her again, and like a normal, decent student that she is (compared to wonpil at this point let’s be real) her hands are busy hand writing whatever the professor was saying

meanwhile, wonpil continues to sdfjskgnglddfjs his way to a passing B in this class

even in this large, spacious lecture hall he can still take in her scent

maybe it’s a new perfume that’s up and coming, that’s why it smells so strongly on her

oh! he can ask that? hey, do you mind sharing what line of perfume you’re using? it smells really good

it sounds like a common question, right? i mean if you wear strong fragrances you’re bound to be asked a question about it

he’s about to ask, he really was so ready to ask, what was he gonna lose? his dignity? 

over a simple, inquisitive question? 

“and now before we go on a twenty minute break, it’s time to introduce yourself to the person sitting close to you”

...

why do college professors have to do this? 

wonpil bites his lip, at this point in time he’s a senior who’s fed up with ice breakers like this. if it were any other person sitting next to him, in front of him, behind him— he would just go with his usual introduction

“hi i’m kim wonpil, studying psychology and i graduate in the spring. i’m taking this class for a major requirement” 

then go about his merry way.

but with her? she and him have history

sort of, and it’s the kind of history that is recent and wonpil is unsure if she is even aware of the weird string of fate-like connection they have 

or, wonpil, hear your consciousness out

it’s not a big deal, and in the scenario she doesn’t remember she fell asleep on the bus on another person

then you can just say hi like usual, and cut the string of fate there and then

(but does wonpil really want that?)

“hi”

oh crap she’s started it 

wonpil braces himself for whatever outcome this interaction comes out to. he’ll let her speak, and tailor his response from there

“i’m sorry, this might be really weird but that’s your sweater, right?” 

so she didn’t give her name, her major, anything substantial about herself but instead shoots wonpil a question

pointing at the sweater that’s draped on the seat in front of wonpil

wonpil doesn’t even check to look. he gulps, nods his head and squeaks, “yeah… why?” 

something in her eyes flash by, almost like a glint of recognition

she puts a hand on her mouth, and wonpil can make out the faintest shade of pink blushing its way to her ears

it’s kinda cute

“did someone happen to… fall asleep on you on the bus coming to campus today?” 

“... yes?” 

“that was me” she buries her face even further into her hands, almost lowering down to the chair 

wonpil thought she was gonna fall for some reason so he had to remedy the situation somewhat

“i.. i, um, did you have a good nap?” 

great comeback 

wonpil was so ready to leave the auditorium and never come back after the break

but he hears her giggle, and slowly come out of her shyness

and it’s a sweet sight, to finally see the way her cheeks look full of embarrassed laughter

as she twirls around a length of hair nervously

and taps the pen on the surface of her desk repeatedly 

it was endearing, and wonpil forgets about why he was panicking in the first place 

she then explains that she had work the whole day, and only had an hour to rest up before going to this 7pm class

wonpil listens intently, watching her mannerisms and the lilt in her voice when she continues to apologize for falling asleep on him without realizing it

“i’m not usually a deep sleeper, but work was exceptionally tiring today and i just needed at least a bit of shut eye” wonpil nods understandingly, almost worried about her health

“where do you work if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“at the coffee shop a few blocks away from campus,” she answers, head tilting to the side “i’m still wearing my uniform for it… is it too obvious?”

wonpil didn’t even realize her black long sleeves was a cafe uniform

but it did explain her strong coffee smell 

“something like that,” wonpil decided to say, curling his lips upward, feeling content and relieved at the turnout of events 

for the 20 minute break, wonpil thought they’d reconcile over what transpired between them and mind their own business soon enough— even if he thinks it’s hard to do that now knowing something about her

which intrigues wonpil 

and, quite frankly, he’d like to talk to her more

just so he has an excuse to watch her emotions paint her face beautifully

but there was a pause right after their short conversation 

and in real Awkward Wonpil Fashion, he shows her the 30 page reading material, in all of its flimsy glory and starts asking questions about it

“so uh did you read the whole thing? i thought it was interesting up until the part that i dozed off” 

and wonpil got his wish; he sees her eyes shine in surprise at his sudden attempt of an intellectual discussion

but she doesn’t deter him away

and actually, she’s read the whole damn thing. and wonpil was beyond amazed at the level of detail she explains to him about the parts he didn’t understand

he actually starts typing real notes while she was talking

this made her laugh in between her explanations, and wonpil didn’t understand what was so funny about

the fight or flight response

“it’s just. the way you’re typing this down so seriously, i’m sure the prof can explain it better”

wonpil shakes his head no, shakes it so much it hurt his temples

she laughs again, and he likes hearing that sound

“do you want to see what i’ve typed the past hour and a half of this class?’

“bet :p”

“actually nevermind” flashbacks of dsfkjsdjffdslkg ring true in wonpil’s mind as he quickly backspaces the nonsense in his notes

and the conversation continues from more psychology talks, to figuring out they’re in the same major but she’s a recent transfer student from last year 

and had been juggling work and school since the start of her senior year

wonpil wonders why he hasn’t seen her in the coffee shop yet

he would have done a double take the first time meeting her there for sure

“oh you’re too kind,” she suddenly replies??? 

wonpil had said his thoughts out loud 

without further embarrassing him, she says that she had only started working there since it’s more convenient for her; wonpil feels grateful she doesn’t dwell on the compliment any longer

alas, the break finishes and the droll of the professor’s voice reverberates throughout the room

this time, though, wonpil definitely feels more alert (awake enthusiastic) as the two of them exchange little comments about the class material

and before you know it, class is over and wonpil is an excited bunny. since they’re by the door they got to leave before everyone else

wonpil thinks it’s time to part ways… but this time they’re not fully strangers at all. they’re taking the same class, same major, they even know each other’s name. 

surely this isn’t the last time, right?

“hey, wonpil…” he didn’t even realize that they have started walking towards the bus stop together

“hm?”

“i think i owe you one,” she starts, stopping her tracks to face him. eyebrows up in hesitation, wonpil waits for her to finish

“you know, for taking over your personal space for my own comfort”

“oh that? haha that’s nothing :)” honestly if wonpil can do it again he’d volunteer in a heartbeat

“no, really. let me make it up to you. coffee? on me? i make a mean cappuccino” she winks 

it strikes through wonpil’s heart 

no need for resuscitation.. yet

“or a matcha latte? whatever you’d like it’ll be on me”

“anything!” wonpil exclaims, suddenly realizing the offer being given to him, the excitement bubbling up inside him again. “i mean, anything you’d like to have me try. surprise me,” he corrects himself

that manages to have her grin widely, eyes twinkling in excitement similar to wonpil’s and he thinks

they can get along

they can get to know each other better this way 

“would you be up to go for one now?” 

“oh— oh! now?” 

“yeah, that way none of us takes the risk of falling asleep back on the bus hehe” 

well, he really wouldn’t mind that happening a second time

“really now, wonpil?”

andddd he exposed himself again

it’s fine, she tugs his hand slightly to lead him to the bus that has arrived and wonpil follows in a daze

it’s a little full, so they have no other choice but to stand and hold onto the railings above

“guess no falling asleep here…” she teases, and now wonpil can’t use his hands to hide his blushing face

but the feeling of her just close by 

and the scent of coffee lingering in the air

in between them

just inches away from each other

it’ll do for now

[spiritwinding]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse.

fill out & repost !

tagged by:  lmao  tagging:  idk whoever else likes long memes

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. / NOT ANSWERING THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!! NOP Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK (i think so? i mean ive never seen anyone argue that sonic ISNT string) Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK (lmao as if) Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. (again lmao but lmao as in ‘his name is the title’) Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.  Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.  How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (generally speaking!) How strictly do you follow canon?  —  well. i mean i dont bust my ass to follow it frame by frame but i also don’t completely discard it so. though question

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imma be real idk wwhat to say yall know who tf sonic is. heart of gold hero who plays by his own rules but has an undying dedication to protecting everyone and making them happy. very friendly and supportive but also vague and private and distant in a lotta ways. comes across as simple minded, maybe a little thick headed, impulsive, arrogant and childish but is actually kinda wise, mostly just confident, and likes to have a good time. live life 2 the fullest baby. 3′0′’ and has and will kick a god’s ass, also doesn’t care for his reputation and is capable of doing things others might read as morally wrong as long as he knows what he’s doing. i dont really care bout my bad reputation *guitar riff* 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — the fact sega literally said he’s legally not allowed to be sad ESXRDTFVGBHN honestly it’s Very funny but also gives me material to make him Repressed tm so? i personally dont mind a whole lot, but your mileage may vary

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  sonic colors!!! i watched chuggaconroy’s lp of it bc my brother said he thought i would like it and i LOVED sonic. so much. i love how he was so jokey and fun and dorky but also cool and how he protected tails above all else and how he got angry at the injustice the wisps were facing and how he just acted so Chill while out running a black hole and then just being? again so chill and confident when he gets brought back to earth. the ending of colors is one of my FAV things and i couldnt pinpoint to exactly why but i so specifically love the bit where he rubs under his nose and says all determined ‘a hedgehogs gotta do whata  hedgehogs gotta do’ like!! i love him. he’s so cool but also talks to robots that cant hear him

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  the plots i have planned mostly EDFVGBH but also i just. love sonic? so much as a character. he means a lot to me so just by default my affection for him gives me motivation and its ultimately what brought me back to the rpc, i just. really missed him!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (lmao) Do you frequently write headcanons?  about certain things! im better withh prompts though ftvgybhnj Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO (oh you have no idea dfgbhnj) Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO (ask my friends its a problem) Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?  Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.  Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. (dude it’s why i LEFT EDFGBHNJ) Do you accept criticism about your portrayal?  —  ysee i used to? but. god if i stress out too much about how Good Or Accurate my portrayal is i will just stop having fun. part of why i ended up not being able to keep writing sonic is because i freaked out abt this, it got REALLY bad. i mostly wanna just. write for myself ykno?)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  yeah who doesn’t

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  nnnot necessarily? i wanna hear what that person’s portrayal is like in that aspect because i just love different portrayals of the same character but i dont wanna get into like.. a debate?

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i think ive established im just that one meme of the cat crying while looking at a phone so. honestly i really just wanna concentrate on writing stuff i enjoy and writing a verison of sonic thats fun to write for me

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  like. sonic as a character or spirit? if its the former i mean. go crazy go stupid? live ur life? vfVGBH just dont like. purposefully bash the things i like to my face thats just mean. if its the former then Cest La Vie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  if u wanna but. i make so many and i dont proofread so dxcfvgbhnj no point

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  i’m not strict by any means lmao. like i said im the crying cat meme

[hoshalicious]

soulmate!taehyung

soulmate!au in which your eyes are the same eye color as your soulmates hair color. if one dyes it, your eye color changes to the desired color.

this has started when you were like 17 years old, the same age as when taehyung debuted.

you knew absolutely NOTHING about the group.

not a single song.

not a single member.

this happened right after you graduated, and you noticed one day when you woke that your eyes started to become a yellowish color.

you woke up your mother, and as soon as she looked at you in the eyes, she became extremely worried about you.

she didn’t even recognize you at first.

but when she realized that it was you, she scolded at you for wearing contacts.

you told her that you weren’t wearing any, and she leaned closer to you to see if you were lying or not

“y/n! take those contacts off right now!! you don’t look elegant!”

“mom!! i’m not wearing any contacts!!”

your mom wanted to schedule an optometrist asap !! she was freaking out about your eye color change.

well when y’all went there, the optometrist told you that there was really nothing wrong with your eyes.

she asked if you had the same vision as always, if you don’t have any diseases,,,,she told to look at things she told you to stare at,,you were perfectly fine,,,

she was very confused to why your irises changed color, but she did say that if your notice any problems with your eyes, come back to her immediately.

you were lowkey freaking out about the color change of your eyes, but the more you think about it,,you were starting to like it.

as you were taking selfies, it felt weird but you felt,,better,,,about yourself.

you had thought the yellowish color would stay forever.

but your eyes later changed to brown, somewhat like a lighter brown color.

you thought that you were back to normal, and you were kind of sad that you wanted the yellow eyes back.

like your selfie game was wild

but anyways

one day, you decided to go to the movies with a couple of friends.

one of your friends asked you for a refill for her drink, and you had no problem with that.

so, you grabbed the cup, and you proceeded to the concession stand.

you asked for a refill of the drink your friend wanted.

but right after the drink is completely refilled, one of the employees politely asked you:

“hi, i was just wondering,,are you wearing contacts”

???? “no? why?”

“oh! it’s because i really love your eyes! i never met anyone who has orange eyes!”

“WHAT”

you told the employees to watch the drink as you ran to the bathroom as fast as you could.

you started to freak out even more than before when you saw your reflection.

when your friends saw you as soon as y’all were about to exit the building, they were amazed to how your eye color just changes.

“bro, what if it’s a soulmate thing?”

“how tf is it even possible? what do the colors mean?”

your mom was worried sick about you about it,,but you weren’t feeling any pain on your eyes.

you were okay, like nothing wrong was happening to you

you think that this is a normal thing of you for now on, and you were okay with it.

skip to like two years later.

still, nothing bad has happened to your eyes.

the only colors your eyes have changed were a light violet color, brown with green, red, and peach.

at one point, your eye color changed back to normal.

but you were missing the color changes so you decided to use some colored contacts until they change color again.

shortly after, your eyes changed back to yellow.

and it kinda lasted for a while, probably like a few months.

right until it was changed back to a hazel brown.

okok so one of your friends suddenly became very obsessed with a korean boy band.

of course, being bangtan sonyeondan.

or bts.

she came up to you one day talking about how much she loves kim taehyung.

you only recognized him by his deep ass voice.

though, he’s a lead vocalist like wow that’s some talent right there.

it was the spring day and not today era, and the m/vs were just released like a few days ago.

when your friend realized that your eyes changed back to the hazel brown color, she referenced to how your eye color is the same as his hair color.

“oooh y/n, his hair matches your eyes! maybe you guys are soulmates”

she just giggles at you as you deny it

“nahh, impossible. if this v dude had purple hair, red hair, and maybe even the peach colored hair then--”

“he did, all of them--”

“what the FUCK”

you were lurking through all of bts’ videos, watching taehyung and seeing the release dates.

you were out of your mind, though you don’t remember seeing him in red hair.

your friend had to find pictures of him in red hair, and you had to figure out when he posted the photos.

there was no way you could contact him, it seemed very impossible.

before dna was released, your eyes changed colors once again to light gray.

you and your friend were waiting for their teasers to come out and you were getting nervous about this situation.

because what if taehyung’s hair color is gray ?? wtf are you gonna do ??

teasers came out.

and you fucking guessed it.

his hair color is gray.

tear era, your eyes changed back to normal.

idol era was kinda special.

because that was the era where taehyung has pink and yellow hair.

before that teaser came out, your eyes are different colors.

your left eye is pink and the other is yellow, and you were looking at your friend to see what color the boy dyed his hair this time.

and you already know,,,he had pink and yellow hair.

this couldn’t even be a coincidence, this is most likely a soulmate thing that one of your friends told you about a few years ago at the movies when you had orange eyes.

you both knew there was no way you could text him or anything on the internet,,so the only way you could talk to him was to go to a fan sign.

it took a whole while just for you to go there, but one day, you finally get to go and see bts.

you were starting to get nervous the more you got closer to taehyung, but fortunately, the members didn’t catch that.

your palms were getting sweaty as seokjin pointed out your eyes being yellow and pink.

“ah, taehyungie, her contacts match the color of your hair !”

“um, jin,,,they’re not contacts,,these are my actual eye colors. they change whenever taehyung dyes his hair to the color he has.”

“wHaT ??”

when you scooted in front of taehyung, he was surprised to how such thing happens to your eyes. you showed him photos of yourself in different eye colors and the dates of when you took them.

taehyung also went through his phone and told you the dates when he had specific hair colors and all of the colors match to when you took your selfies.

he couldn’t even believe it, you even had to show them yourself to see if you’re not lying.

and yo, the way he widen his eyesss

“,,,are you sure you didn’t wear contacts?”

“i’m too scared to wear them,,,so no.” you proceeded to lean in closer and whisper,

“if you don’t believe me, follow my instagram, soulmate?”

“...of course! i’ll message you for sure!”

abi; november 16th 2019

[blueraspberryrodimus]

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⦁ For those who have asked in the past, I do have a ko-fi set up, and there’s a link to it in the description box! Interested in commissioning me? Send me a message! There is a link to commissions in the description box as well!

⦁ Thank you for reading the rules! Happy requesting!

[moonwolfhowl]

Yuletide 2k19 edition

Hiyo, first off I’m moonwolfhowl on tumblr and nightmoonz on AO3. I’m really excited that you got me and I just want to thank you so much in advance and I really hope you have fun with this!!

Secondly, here are a couple things that I like and dislike, (and some prompts but you can take ‘em or leave ‘em). If you’re not 100% sure on if something is or isn’t my deal my ask box is open and the anon option is turned on.  

Ratings: I prefer through T-M, but tbh I’m pretty easy so if you wanna go up to E feel free ^__^“’

Likes, Loves and DNWs:

Likes and Loves!

AUs! No, seriously, every kind of AU

Humor! Especially: sarcasm, witty banter, etc…

Angst and hurt/comfort are awesome!

Slow Burns

MUTUAL PINING and/or SEEMINGLY unrequited feels

idiots to lovers, this can either be enemies to lovers or friends to lovers. sort of related to the point straight above XD

found families

Fake relationship/dating/marriage you know for a cover/mission/(fill in the blank)

Bed Sharing

Sex Pollen

“In Vino Veritas” 

Happy Endings!!

Squicks/DNWs (do not wants):

Character Bashing

Abuse of any kind

Cheating

Actual unrequited feelings

Harm to animals

Non-Con

Incest

Mpreg

Major Character Death

Scat and/or Watersports

2nd and 1st person perspective

Spiders especially Tarantulas, this is a huge trigger for me

Okay! I’m gonna put a break here because this is a long post and all prompts/ideas are below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alrighty, so these are just some silly prompts or ideas that you can take from or totally ignore altogether! It’s really just some ideas that you can look to if you’re stuck or need a jumping off point.  And man, like if you already had an idea? Please feel free to go with that instead, I just want you to have fun  = ^__^ =  

Also again, if you have any questions the anon option is turned on for my ask box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OOctopath Traveler - Therion, Tressa Colzione, Cordelia Ravus, and Leon Bastralle

Oh boy this game. I have no words that can even describe how much I LOVE this game. The storytelling was fantastic and I got really invested in not just the main 8 but in all of the minor/side characters too. I know I have Therion, Cordelia, Tressa and Leon specifically but if you want to throw in any of the other characters in the tagset you totally can, same with any side ships (here’s looking **You don't have to include ALL the characters I selected here in your fic, you can mix them up or follow a prompt I have. I only request that you include at least one of the ones picked here <3

I’m kind of open to anything but if you do need a jumping off point (and/or want to see me gush over my favs) check out the prompts below

Therion - I love him and would die for him he is my perfect little trash bandit. It kills me how he longs to belong somewhere but is equally afraid of it for very good reasons. Because of this he’s so heavily guarded and *sobs* his reactions to people (the 8 and Cordelia) genuinely caring about his wellbeing? It just hrrk! I’m so happy I started with him, that I got to see his growth throughout the story and how his emotional wounds finally seem like they’re on their way to healing. Tressa - My adorable little gremlin, she’s such a little badass! While money may be on her mind a lot she’d never cheat anyone! She’s genuinely kind and her travel adventure is so interesting because it’s about exploring the world, experiencing new places—and while she has a certain understanding of this—she learns the true meaning of sentimental value in things. I love her so much. Leon - I love how much of his character is wrapped up in some mystery and that he seems like a tortured but mature soul (as you can see I have a type.) Cordelia - I love Cordelia and she is entirely underrated. She’s been through quite a lot and her faith in my best boy helped him come back into the world able to to trust and love people again. She’s very soft and caring and now that her stolen heirlooms have been restored to her she can come back into the world herself.

Gen ideas:

Tressa and Therion teasing TF out of each other doesn’t matter what about or who about. I just love them and they have such a brosis vibe

Tressa spear fishing and shocking Therion or everyone by it, you can add any and/or all of the characters in the tag. (Inaccurate Tressa, "What? I live in a Port Town my dudes.”)

I know this is cheesy but Therion having his first Apple Pie would destroy me ; __ ; it can be when he’s little or an adult, AU, Canonverse or Canon divergent it can be a Birthday treat to himself, it can be the first thing he pays for with money he earned on his own. If you want to include any character my sign up sheet or want to include any other octo character(s) that’s fine too!

Shippy ideas (which I’m a little more into but whatever you are comfortable with is a-okay by me):

Cordelia Ravus/Therion (Thordelia)

THEM *SWOONS* I just love them, Cordelia helps my baby boy trust in people again and brings happiness back to his world… and he has so much respect for her I’m just— ; __ ; I just love them

Actor & Author relationship: AU, Canonverse or Canon divergent you name it!

Again Tressa teasing TF out of Therion but specifically about Cordelia (esp after his chapter good god. *swoon*)

Cordelia’s POV on her Noble Thief

Anything post game like I wouldn’t mind seeing her rebuilding Bolderfall, visiting each layer of the city and helping it thrive

Fake Dating. Any Setting XD

The “I’m supposed to take out the target but I fell for them instead” is also very good

Tressa Colzione/Leon Bastralle

; w ; their relationship and care for each other—like Thordelia’s—makes my heart melt

Any kind of them traveling together and developing feels on the open seas post game

Her being his apprentice and learning from him while teaching him some new things

Does Leon have a thing for the arts? Is that why he’s particularly enamored endeared to Tressa spotting the painting?

yeah ngl anything, my thirst is real

A Very Shippy and utterly ridiculous prompt. Tressa x Leon (Treon? Lessa?) and/or Thordelia (however if you wanna include other side ships like Olberhardt or H’aanit x Ophilia for example you can go for it!)

Masquerade! Can be Canonverse, Canon Divergent or AU!

A Masquerade ball in which: 

They can either know each other beforehand or not

Halloween Party, Adults, College AU

idk this is just something to have fun with and hey lol if you wanna make it more mature feel free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Promare - Lio, Galo, Gueira, Meis

Man this movie messed me up and all the right ways. Honestly one of the most chilling things was to see all of the Burnish being used as engine fuel… I like—ngl I cried, and then when Lio gets used as the core? ; __ ;

Honestly I will be happy with anything you come up with, there are so many possibilities just know that a heavy angst fic is A-okay by me, but if you want to do a flufflier or humor fic those are also so Very VERY good. I have some ideas below but again like if you have an idea in mind or started something by viewing my likes list go for it!

**You don't have to include ALL the characters I selected here in your fic, you can mix them up or follow a prompt I have. I only request that you include at least one of the ones picked here <3

Lio - Um yes I love him. He’s just such a tortured soul and true cares about people. I like—honestly he is my favorite character. The way he used his flame to protect Galo? How hard he fights for the Burnish? How hard Gueira and Meis fight for him and stop at nothing to save him speaks volumes about the kind of person he is. I just love him and want him to have nice things

Galo - This wonderful brilliant dumbass. I also love him and despite me calling him a dumbass he’s actually pretty with it when it comes to adapting to his environment. He also takes in new information and rather than reject it out right he examines it critically. Like the way he approached Kray about the Burnish experiments was not the smartest… However, he still went to find the truth no matter how much it could have hurt him and that really defines what kind of guy he is.

Gueira & Meis - So unfortunately we didn’t get to see much of these two but what we did get to see was GOLD. I love them, I love how they fight so hard to protect their fellow burnish and how loyal they are to Lio. Like omg when the Burnish were being rounded up but they used the last of their strength to save Lio, believing—knowing that he would come back for them? *hrrk* My heart.

So okay!!! Ideas and/or prompts! Again you don’t have to use these if you don’t want to <3

Anything Shippy with Lio and Galo + hurt/comfort?? 10/10

An AU where the Promare gift the Burnish with their “fire bending” abilities permanently

Anything found family esp if it's adopting Lio's litter fam with Galo's ; w ;

I'd love to see what was going on with Gueira/Meis while they were locked up side by side. What did they talk about? Their faith in Lio? Them possibly growing up with Lio? Their feels for each other? And honestly you can go as angsty as you want to with this.

Gueira & Meis being over protective (big bros) of their boss and bestie Lio. (Poor Galo lmao)

Feel free to include any other characters you want from the tag set or canon in general ^___^ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crescent Moon - Any

Ah… my poor beautiful tiny manga fandom… I love this 6 volume series so much. The storytelling can be fast paced at times but it doesn't even phase me considering how detailed and intricate the themes, lore, relationships and monsters & magic are. For this fandom anything goes, like any AUs, tropes, canon compliant or divergent is all welcome here.

Bonus points if you have your own take of the song/legend: “Princess Princess why do you cry?”

If you want to make a fic about the Princess and the Demon boy when they were kids, or have any fic at all featuring them (kid or adult) I'm all for it.

I love Mahiru Shiraishi/Mitsuru Suou they are such little disasters anything with them would be amazing but I’m a multishipper so if you have a ship that isn't them and you've been dying to write your ship? Write your ship! I'd love to read it!!! 

And anything including Akira is god tier - he is the bestest boy. 

I’m sorry I know this prompt is very open ended and very vague but like I’d just be happy with anything

[pkmnjesus]

5 years of the PokémonJesus

Before the night comes to a close, I would like to personally reflect on today’s importance (thus the reason for the Takeover queue). It’s been 5 years since I officially became engaged with this fandom that has really became a weekly routine of mine when new episodes come out. This is really just to put my thoughts out there in the blog archive, so I would prefer if no one reblogs this. P J’s beginnings started all the way back with Serebii Forums...

2013-2014 (The Pokémon forums Era)

I have been lurking in the fandom as early as the Best Wishes days, and often visit sites like Serebii Forums or tumblr’s Pokémon anime tags around 2011. I usually talk Pokémon online when it comes to the games when battling or trading in certain chat rooms (was really active during the Gen. IV era of games), but never really talked about the anime with. I have been a spectator to the discussion while the BW saga was rolling a long, then I decided on September 26th 2013 (which was the airdate for the final BW! episode in Japan) to create a serebiiforums account under the username PokemonJesus123, just in time for the start of the XY series which I was mad hyped about! I WAS A FAN SINCE DAY 1...some y’all just tagged along in XY&Z NO LOYALTY xD . My serebii profile is still there actually, so you can try to find my old inactive page if you want lol (my avatar was me holding up my 3DS in a cringey way...looking back why tf did I take that photo lol delete later). Coming into 2014, I joined tumblr as well under the url name you see right before you. Never changed it, and probably never will. The origin of this name you ask? You’ll just have to ask me personally for that story 😉 I absolutely joined tumblr out of pure boredom to view and follow blogs I was a fan of. I had no intention of posting whatsoever. Oh, and I made a Twitter account under the P J name too! Follow ME :^)

2014-2015 (Thursday LIVE! tumblr era)

After a couple months of finally creating a tumblr account and actively posting on serebiiforums and bulbagarden, XY episode 50 (the episode where big lips Nini/Nene debuted) was the first EVER Pokémon anime episode I ever posted about in my blog. I was still new the #pokeani tag (funny story, I didn’t really knew what it meant back then besides to tag it lol), but I got as much as around 30-100 notes. Seeing those notes already got excited that it pushed me from making it a weekly thing since I had a livestream to watch it every Thursday night and screen-cap it. My goal from the very beginning was to try to be the first one to post about here, like what the Japanese fans do on Twitter under the #Anipoke tag. Of course, most of my notes came from either an AmourShipping post or a Serena post. I’m not going to lie, I was really a huge Serena fan when the series first started. I rambled a lot too getting hyped for Citron/Clemont episodes because he was probably my favorite character at the time xD

2015-2016 (A growing blog)

This was the era I started to do special long posts in celebration with Pokémon’s 20th anniversary. Around this period is where my blog was in a developing state getting like 2 or 3 followers every week. And trust me, there were A LOT of posts that I regret posting, but I learned to watch my words every week and say the right things (I really try not to trigger anyone here). I took a couple of weeks off when new episodes aired since I was really busy with college, or I wasn’t into XY filler episodes that much. Would usually tune in live when Team Flare was involved or anything with Squishy/Puni-chan (I absolutely ADORED Bonnie/Eureka in this arc), but I didn’t post that much on tumblr...unless if there was like an AmourShipping moment that happened xD. The hype for Gen. VII was already looming, and I kinda got bored from the anime A BIT. When Ash-Greninja came into the picture however, I got excited again! Then the Kalos League happened, and the anticipation of Ash’s journey hit a climax! We all know what happened, and the rest was history...

2016-2017 (GIFmaking era)

So the Sun & Moon anime happened late 2016, and the hype for a new series was within me again! This is when my blog REALLY started to boom, as well as the birth of my Pokémon Discord server PokéTōku. My notes were higher than over compared to what I posted from XY. One possible reason is that a lot of pokeani bloggers from back then weren’t really interested in Sun & Moon (probably because of the animation change), so I was one of few who still stayed for the ride and that really benefited my blog’s exposure. I absolutely loved Lillie’s character development, and I also did not expect myself to enjoy Lana/Suiren’s character so much! Brock & Misty’s was a huge highlight for me as well seeing my childhood come to a modern-day Pokémon series. I was surprised to have popular people reblog my stuff that destroys my notifications per second. I was even flattered when popular pokéblogs such as shelgon, corsolanite, chasekip, and a few others followed me. Back then I really wanted to get a lot of notes, but at this point I just wanted to be myself and post screen-caps that I feel like talking about. The series also motivated me to start making GIFs since I finally had access to Adobe Photoshop through my university’s application benefits. Later in 2017, I graduated from college and it gave me more time to improving my blog. Also, can you believe it took me 3 years to get 1,000 followers? If you asked me from day 1, I would have never expected to get that much since I had no idea about tumblr’s audience.

Everyone here knows that my blog doesn’t really follow “traditional” tumblr methods such as tags or making specific posts and what not (since I’m not really that into the tumblr culture lol...I’m just here for fun doing my own thing), but I hope I’ve brought something different to your dash experience 🙃

2017-2018 (Making friends)

From 1,000 to 2,500+ followers the next year. You’d be surprise how small that still is compared to the other popular Pokéblogs that joined tumblr later than me, but I’m still grateful for that number. My hype for movie 20 was crazy! I’d always make a post about it when a new trailer was out. But just like Sun & Moon, not everyone was looking forward to the AU it produced. The Let’s Go games shared the same fate as well since everyone didn’t want another Kanto, but I always defend the things that deserve a chance! I fairly enjoyed movie 20 though, and was the first movie that I posted screen-caps and GIFs for in this blog, even made an experience post about it watching it in the theaters! What’s MOST important to me during this time was actually interacting with some of my followers...or should I say friends now :) Out of the 5 years I’ve been here (not counting serebiiforum peeps I’ve known since 2013), I only recently talked to some of you around 2017. My interactions with people here have been awesome (for the most part at least lol) from sharing interests, geeking out over the anime, sending memes xD and concerns when P J isn’t feeling P J. You know who you are, and THANK YOU for cheering your boy up in times when I needed it despite not telling you about it <3 Going back to PokéAni hype, my next excitement attack was when they announced the Aether Foundation and Ultra Beasts were getting involved in the main story. It really makes up for no Alola movie...but hey we still got 1 year left, so maybe there’s hope?

Despite the brief breaks I took, P J’s activeness in the fandom has reached its highest when I managed the time to do scheduled posts and even started a few mini-blog series this year. Even during stressful times, I always make it an effort to find time and contribute to the fandom. I honestly don’t care if I get any asks because I know who the real homies are ◉‿◉つ A special shoutout as well to all the people that joined my Discord server through this website. I couldn’t have reached 100+ members without some of your blogs ^_^ And to the lurkers out there (I know some of y’all are creepin’ in the shadows of my blog without liking anything), you may not know it but I love you people too ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

Anyway this is just a summary of my journey here so far, and if you’d to hear a more in-depth story on some toxic things I’ve experienced in this fandom just message me. I personally don’t like venting out stuff in public because it just promotes more negativity, and I’m not about that. I will make a separate post on my feelings toward the schedule change maybe next week, and an appreciation post (5th tumblr blogaversary) for my specific followers January 2019. I am still preparing for that because there are so many people (even ones I don’t even talk to) I want to thank ❤ Moving forward into my 6th year, I probably won’t make another post like this anytime soon...but I am very hopeful for the future of the SM series and possible Gen. 8 anime late 2019. I also do plan on making some PokéAni-related stuff in my YouTube channel when the time is right, and have the resources to do projects. Keep your eyes out fam 👀LET’S F’N GO!

[dumbbelle]

do you have any favourite blogs??? like any kind of blogs!! (just curious skmfmd)

This got outta hand so quickly. But here was my overall answer:

I follow a lot of seventeen blogs. Like a lot. But I also follow a lot of people who are generally nice and who have cute tags because they help brighten up my day. I like art blogs and those calming aesthetic blogs because they make my dash prettier. And I follow my in-real-life friends like @leechansthighs and @verifiedspheniscidae and @vernaans no matter their content (although their blogs are all still A+ content and I’d probably follow them regardless). And I like @myetie so much that I played Mystic Messenger just to better understand what was going on in her artwork because her art is cute and funny and I stumbled upon it accidentally so I had to catch up. 

But to get specific? Hmmm, well, in no particlar order…. 

Of course I have my mutuals like @miiinghao @kimbapkidding @thatgirlcatt13 @jeonwonxwoo and @kw0njisol who I probably forgot to reply to like 3 billion years ago in chat but are still amazing and I love with my soul but am too nervous to say anything to because I know the only reason we’ve stopped talking is because I’m disorganized af. 

And then, well, @fyhoshi probably dominates my dashboard with HD Hoshi pics (not that I mind, really). Seriously, if you’re a Hoshi stan, follow them (you likely already are). You won’t regret it. In a very similar way, if you’re a Woozi stan, then you’ve gotta follow @woozioppa for all her constant updates and flooding of your dashboard. Just from following her, Woozi jumped like 5 spots on my bias list because of all the Woozi content.

@pristeen-23 is honestly such a good friend (used to write on her blog but not anymore,,, GIRL I’M STILL MOURNING). She’s friends with so many people because she’s a beautiful human being and deserves to be loved and rolled into a warm blanket and fed good food bye. 

OKAY so who hasn’t heard of @woozifi? Honestly, whether it’s for Tessa’s art or Tessa’s writing (CHECK OUT HER AO3), she excels in whatever she does. Talk about multitalented. Her commissions are open here. 

I like art blogs a lot!!! @bodtster was probably the first fan art blog I ever followed and I am lowkey,,, in love,,, with Annie and her work (her personal @sailorpeach is hella aesthetic if you also wanna check that out.) Her commissions are open right here.

@94wnd Graphics man, graphics. She’s the pop of colour on my dash that always makes me stop and go “ooOoOhh” because her graphics are so vibrant and pleasing. And her writing is great too! Definition of that one mom friend who always makes you feel like honey, starlight, and warm hugs on a Thursday afternoon. She makes me feel good about my angst and I love reading her tags okay. 

I frickin love memes and shitposts, and I recently discovered @amemericans [I know, I know, y’all are all like “where have you been?” and ur rite where have I been?]. They’ve got the best memes in the business. We have recently formed the idol group Clickb8,,, and are accepting all applications – so rhymes, limericks, and haikus thx. 

@incorrect7teen always makes me laugh with her incorrect quotes and love for DK,,, She’s really sweet and interactive too. Her little window into her daily life and thoughts is really so entertaining, and one can’t help but want to be friends ^^

@doyomi has some great incorrect NCT quotes, so if any NCTzens are floating around. @gwikimchi is her main blog but she has like a million blogs that I apparently don’t follow even though I know them by heart??? FRICK I’M THE DAMN WORST. ( @lordyoungho for kpop horoscopes and @sebooty-lyfe for writing). 

Choco from @choco-seventeen is such a sweetheart and her writing is stunning. Legit, her writing will probably make you want to cry. Heck, I have cried while reading her writing. And I will continue to cry because she always gets better and better and is always looking to improve and wow everything she does motivates me. 

Did you know that if you looked up talent in the dictionary you’ll get @hansolmates? Legit when I saw her writing for the first time I blanched. I wish man, I wish. Her timing is terrific, her fluff makes me melt, and her angst makes me jealous. I wish I had an ounce of her skill. 

Another art blog I follow is @cutiepatoodieart, who never fails to impress. Joey’s style is absolutely breathtaking and I love her art so so much. As well, she always says what’s on her mind without holding back, which I think is admirable. Her commissions are also very open right here.

@hoshbrownie is precious. Absolutely precious. Eva will talk to you and make you feel like you matter. She will think about you and tag you in things and I’m actually teary-eyed because she’s so precious and every not-so-anonymous anon (hoshbrownie i see u) I get from her makes me so happy. 

@svt-husbands THE WELL OILED AND FAST WORKING MACHINE. You guys know who they are, of course you do. Great quality writing at insane speeds, these guys are everything I want to be bye. I remember first talking to one of the admins @squishteen , and I was like ??? How do such interesting people exist ??? She’s amazing and writes on her main as well, go follow her. I more recently started talking to @jeongguktm, and can confirm that yes she is as adorable and kind as one might expect her to be. ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT I RECENTLY MISSED HER BIRTHDAY and tf is wrong with me, this isn’t how you make friends. Happy belated birthday sweets

Jackie from @tookorean lowkey intimidates me because everything she does turns to gold. She’s hard working and loves Woozi and if that’s not enough reason to follow then I don’t know what is. Sometimes translates, sometimes does this. Another multitalented goddess on our hands, this is getting overwhelming. 

@vitaminniedk just read her tags and you’ll understand why I follow her. She also has probably the best theme around? Vivienne is as much of a sunshine as her bias, and you’ve probably seen her gifs floating around. 

Gen from @wonnhao is a gif goddess that you are probably all aware of and her interactions are really cute too so of course I’m following her. Aren’t you? 

@wasabi-duck who is on an indefinite hiatus but you should still see her writing anyway. She was the sole person who attracted me to the bullet-point style that’s getting more and more popular around here these days. My friends and I would like read her stories out loud at lunch over sandwiches and I feel nostalgic just writing this. She’s also very kind and I like the stuff she reblogs on her main @clockwork-lullaby.

@mounteenbase is back from the dead so check her out! Lots of fun lil blurbs and bullet-point fics. Fluff master and a lowkey meme master. Very cute and easy to talk to, fun and interesting as one can see from her main blog @mounteenbase-main. 

@saythename17scenarios is graceful. Perhaps that’s not the right word but heaven knows my vocabulary isn’t extensive enough to describe how I feel about Kimbap Mom. Her writing is distinctive and tactful, and she often finds the greatest of beauty in the simplest of concepts. One day she might write a full length multi-part fic and I will be here eagerly awaiting each update because I’m trash for her. 

@moodboards-and-profiles flowers and unicorns and everything pure. When we first talked she was legit one of the most encouraging people I’ve ever met, and I’m sure that remains the same despite our lack of communication! Actually has some really cute moodboards (that she should tag because she can gain some major attention winkwinknudgenudgeshoveshove). 

Oh and recently I started following @askjournalismsvt and this is probably my favourite SVT Tumblr AU ever. Sam and Kei perfectly portray Seventeen as members of the “Diamond City University journalism department” and answer questions with the cutest of doodles ack. They’re also hilarious and I want to be this funny. 

And whilst writing this, @puppetwritings popped into my head even though I just followed her like now. She was the first fanfic account that I got into way before I actually made an account and since I didn’t have an account I would just check her Tumblr constantly and put her in my bookmarks. I got busy after a while and then made my account after another while, but I can’t believe I forgot to follow such a phenomenal writer.

Anyway thanks for the question love! This was fun to write up and reflect on :)

[televinita]

Zoo, 3.03 (super late)

Once upon a time I posted one short Feeling Explosion in the middle of this episode, then forced myself to stop and deal with a work-nado, and before I could claw my way back I heard "Welcome to the O.C., bitch," and that's the last thing I remember before waking up from my coma 6 weeks later. That's my story and I’m sticking to it. Claims that I may have woken up briefly to comment on bits of episodes 4 and 8 are unsubstantiated because officially, until last night I had not yet finished episode 3. (and that is the actual truth. I technically got to the end and a bit beyond, but only because I tore both apart for Mitch/Jamie content just like I feared I would and left the rest to spoil. Guilt may have played a part in my inability to come out of the coma.)

As I am Very Stubborn about not watching the next episode of anything until I have thoroughly spun the last one around in my head, dissected my feelings about it and processed them into text product, and I struggled with what to say, I got stuck in Zoo purgatory. But after an hour of freewriting, I think I have enough babble to feel content. This is mostly for me, but perhaps you’ll enjoy following my journey.

Originally Planned Opening Statement: Hey, remember when this show was was about weird mutant animals and not bizarre government conspiracies to abduct and experiment on children? Because I do. This is not the show I signed up for and it makes my soul feel gross.

(more evidence for the “why I had trouble moving forward” file, I think) Television Parents Council So we're three episodes in and I am really feeling like dramatic anguish is not Alyssa Diaz's strong suit in the acting department. It all feels kind of strained and forced? But hang on, I gotta go be way more outraged about her character's choices, as seen in this live reaction note: "WHAT IN THE FRICKITING FRACK DARIELA WTF. Is this* why you got divorced last time, 'cause I'm gonna have to assume it is seeing's as we literally never got any other reasoning for that random-ass info drop last year and I keep waiting for an explanation." *cheating on her husband

(and oh man, for the first time I am so glad it's these two who got the kid and not Mitch and Jamie, because can you imagine if I had to hear Jamie had cheated on Mitch with Logan and wrecked their relationship that bad? I would perform brain surgery on everyone with a power drill.) (nobody talk at me about the almost as distasteful thing that happened with them)

To be fair to Dariela, she and Abe mostly bonded over having a kid right after they met; I can't really say it feels like she betrayed an epic soulmate bond. I can muster up some sympathy for her feeling lonely and abandoned.)

Except that's not even her last horrible reveal of the episode*. What are you trying to do, run this character I miraculously chose to accept into the ground??

*possibly selling out Clementine to rescue her own kid from a sketchy situation. I will make a lot of allowances for putting yourself and your family's comfort and safety over the needs of strangers, but this does not fall under that header.

But, um, other than that, Papa Lion Abe is intense and amazing and I thought the whole desperate chase-after-the-military-convoy aspect was really well done.

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Television Parents Council Pt. II Live Reaction Note: "Mitch is a testy bitch in this episode and I love him." (I remember this being debated, but part of the reason I love his Testy Bitch self is what you see at the end of the episode. If he doesn't wrap himself in defensive anger, cling to it like a buoy, the pain of confronting everything he lost and missed will win.) I really love Mitch's two seconds of happiness when he thinks Jamie raised Clem in her fancy penthouse and they ended up thick as thieves. I am less fond of the reality that Max took her away when she turned 14, so the only solace I can take away, before I spiral into that "who TF invited Logan to this party" post we started with is "SWEET HALLELUJAH AT LEAST JAMIE GOT OVER THREE YEARS TO BOND WITH HER." Also, Jamie is so the adult who gives the kids beer to supervise them. I still think it's hilarious that Mitch assumed any adult gave her a beer at 14, because don't most teenagers just have friends who come up with it? I mean, I couldn't even find alcohol on my college campus so I am not the authority on this by any means, but that is the impression I get from books. My point being, I like to think that even in the happy world where 2x12 is the series finale and they had a life together after, this would still have happened and he and Jamie would have had more than one clash regarding her blurring the line between parental authority and friend, and it would have sounded exactly like this, so...thanks Zoo, for accidentally fulfilling my Domestic AU interests in the weirdest possible way! Awww @ Mitch's impatient little "hey" when Clem casts doubt on Jamie's ability to perform brain surgery with a power drill, and then uses that particular tone of voice to tell her it's going to be fine. Awww @ Clem sticking up for Jamie's parenting skills. You know what, just assume that I loved any and everything else that happened when these three were on screen. And I maintain that Jamie, while willing to stop him if he gets too far out of line, also remembers very well what it's like to wake up with missing time where everything's changed and gone wrong, and that means he gets the time and space he needs, within reason, to lash out and come to terms with it while she waits for the worst of the storm to pass. She does point out when Clem's upset, and she checks him with "she turned out okay," but never once do I get the sense that she takes any criticism he lobs at her personally.

(I might have said this before. I tagged wrong and can’t find it.)

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JKras and Emily Blunt's Alt Reality Doppelgangers (shhh just go with it)

Guess what I started shipping exactly two seconds before we went with the "slapping men across the face isn't domestic violence" trope on top of the "this one piece of information that is not about how you assaulted or killed someone in cold blood invalidates absolutely everything I love about you" trope. It's a two-fer of ship torpedoing. (How do you say no to that face! Look how tragic and sad it is on top of its normal rugged handsomeness and love for helping people! Also, guess who is probably gonna quit shippin' it and throw the lady right back out the door if/when she returns and eliminates Jackson's need to talk to the people I care about. That's just how I unfairly do. The Chloe-shaped hole in my heart won't heal, it's weird.) --------------- I LOVE YOU, MAN

And then this episode ends with Jackson's face lighting up at the sight of Alive!Mitch and glomping on him in a bear hug, and everything is right with the world now that my two faves are together again. ---------------

Yet More Thoughts

-Live reaction note: “I am glad to see that Mitch has shaved the beard and subsequently restored his powers of snark to full glory. They must have been suffocating under that thing.” -I loved Clem's montage of practicing how to tell her dad she's pregnant. These are useful sound bites for alternate takes.

-”Everything went wrong. The world went wrong.” This is somehow the most poetic thing I have ever heard on Zoo? Between the writing and her specific cadence, it sounds like something you'd hear in an award-winning speech, dressed up in voiceovers for trailers; IDK, I just really love it.

-Who even are you Abigail; your name and your hair make me want to get to know you but everything else (including my fandom girl-bros reacting to you with all the love they had for Logan last year and essentially forming a rousing chorus of "Don't need another You Part 2"), very much makes me want to not. -LOOK AT THESE GIANT UGLY WORM TUNNELING DINO-VULTURES, I LOVE THEM. -Mitch's JAMIE WHAT THE FUCK reaction to her stabbing her prisoner through the hand was pretty amazing. -In case you were wondering how appropriate for polite company my reaction to Jackson hotly threatening "I am gonna find you, and I am gonna stop you" is, the answer is "not very." -Quick question: how did Mitch's sacrifice save the world, exactly? I'm fuzzy on this. I wasn't tracking plot very well after Mitch "died" last year, but I thought it was a very personal sacrifice meant to save Clem alone.

-Well. That ending sounds like a fun little sophie's choice of "death vs. memory loss." Looking forward to seeing what episode 12 or 13 does with that. (If you kill him again, all the protection of "reality" in the world won't save you from the worm dino vulture pack I will summon to come after you.)