#this arriving on my birthday eve and a day when I needed a pens pick me up was perfect

[sportsthoughts]

little vintage early birthday present from me to me i was sold by the fact that a) it’s the same age as me and b) who doesn’t want a jumper with jagr stats

[libraryofloveletters]

December 24th

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same” - Emily Brontë

Derek Morgan x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, Friends to lovers, slow burn (like really slow),mentions of death, injuries, and abusive relationships, cm level of violence, kissing. 

Category: Fluff with some angst

Word Count: 5k

Author’s Note: just felt like writing something for Derek :) It’s in order of your relationship with Derek, it’s kinda similar to lovestory that I wrote for Luke. Special thank you to @genevievedarcygrangerwriting​ and @iconicc​ for their help with this :) 

*For full dramatic effect, play Wonder by Shawn Mendes while reading* 

-----

This was a different type of love 

Much different than what he had with Penelope or Spencer or anyone else. This was more than a surface attraction, this was a connection on a much deeper level, something you couldn’t explain but you knew you needed. You had always felt like a piece of you was missing until you met him. 

April 16th, 2007

It was your first day at the BAU. 

To say you were nervous was an understatement, you were terrified. You had only met Aaron Hotchner, your unit chief during your interview. You had yet to meet the rest of the team. 

You were greeted by a tiny blonde woman by the elevator, who introduced herself as Jennifer. She walked you to the briefing room, she explained to you that you had a case and that someone would take you home to get some clothes quickly. Aaron introduced you to the team very quickly, first was David Rossi, who had very father like qualities,

Jennifer Jareau, whom you had met by the elevator and was their media liaison

Emily Prentiss, who radiated badass energy, 

Dr. Spencer Reid, who seemed very baby like but was incredibly smart, 

Penelope Garcia, their technical analyst and who didn't hesitate to welcome you onto the team,

Finally, Derek Morgan, the embodiment of the perfect man. 

Aaron told Derek to take you home to get your stuff and to meet them at the jet. On the drive to your place, Derek made small talk, asking you about your previous jobs, why you decided to join the bureau.

“It was a spur of the moment thing actually, I came across the application and figured why not? Because what’s the worst that happens y’know?” you chuckled, Derek flashing you a smile before pulling into your driveway. 

“You live here by yourself ? Aren’t you only 26?” he looked at you and then back at your house. That was a typical reaction, it was a huge house with a huge property attached to it, it was on the outskirts of the city. “It’s a family house, it was passed down to me after my parents’ passed” you told him and changed the topic before he could ask questions about your parents. “Would you like to come in while I get my stuff? I might be a few minutes. The least I could do is offer you something to drink while you wait?” He nodded, getting out while you did. 

You stepped and headed towards the stairs, “help yourself to anything in the kitchen, it’s straight down the hall” you smiled at him.

“Okay” he smiled, watching you make your way up the stairs. 

December 24th, 2010 

The white lights burned your eyes as you opened them, squinting to slowly readjust your eyes to the brightness. You looked around, trying to remember what happened. 

The last thing you remember was Spencer and Derek over you. Spencer’s hand on your stomach and Derek holding your hand while shouting for a medic. Something about holding on were the last words you heard before waking up in the hospital. 

Derek was curled up on the chair in your room. He looked out of place on the chair, it was too tiny for him. “Der..” you said, barely above a whisper. Your throat was dry and you were too tired to talk but you needed to know what happened. There was an empty water bottle beside your bed, you stretched your arm out and pushed the bottle off of the table. It hit the floor, the noise startled Derek and he sat up in his chair. 

He took a look around to see you looking at him, “Hey mama, how are you feeling ?” he pulled the chair closer to your bed, sitting himself back down. His hand rested on yours, his thumb rubbing over the top of your hand. 

“What happened?” you asked, leaning back onto the pillow. He let out a sigh before speaking. “Spencer, you and I went to the house, the unsub’s house. Pretty boy and I went through the front and you headed to the back to check the yard. We were upstairs when we heard the gunshot, we ran out to see you on the floor. There was a bullet in your side and the unsub was headed towards the front of the house” Derek looked up at you, unsure if he should continue.

“Did you get him?” you asked, he nodded. “Hotch and the team had just arrived when we heard the shot. Hotch caught him in the front” you let out a sigh. “I ran to the back, Spencer was trying to stop the bleeding but it wasn’t stopping” his voice wavered for a moment, you gave his hand a squeeze. 

“It was touch and go when the medics arrived, Spencer did the best he could. We thought we were going to lose you, I thought I was going to lose you.” Derek wasn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve, not in the field but here, in this hospital room with you, he did. 

“You didn't think that you would be able to get rid of me so quickly, did you?” you gave him a small smile. You picked up your phone from the side table, it was Christmas Eve. “Derek, go home. You shouldn't spend your Christmas Eve stuck in a hospital” you looked over at him, he had made himself comfortable in his chair again. 

“There's nowhere I'd rather be right now” 

June 6th, 2011 

Your case in Chicago had wrapped up. The flight was meant to be a day before but due to a sudden thunderstorm that came through, you were stuck there. 

Derek’s mother was kind enough to have all of you over for dinner, even though you all insisted that she didn’t have too. After dinner, Aaron and Rossi headed back to the hotel first, thanking her for her hospitality before heading out. Emily and JJ made themselves comfortable with Derek’s sisters and a bottle of wine, sharing stories of past lovers and tragic high school romances. Derek’s mom had you and Spencer flipping through photo albums, telling you stories of all kinds of trouble Derek caused as a kid. 

Emily, JJ, Spencer, Derek and yourself ended up spending the night there. Hotch and Rossi had picked up your bags from your rooms, because you all had packed prior to finding out about the delayed flight and suggested you just meet at the jet. It was around 6am when you found yourself hugging Derek’s mother goodbye. Derek waited back a few moments, his mom whispering something to him before letting him go. 

The drive to the jet was silent. JJ and Emily were hungover from too much wine, Spencer was half asleep and you were still trying to wake up while Derek drove. “It was nice to meet your mom, she’s sweet” you whispered, Emily still groaned that you were too loud. “She likes you” Derek glanced over at you before turning his attention back to the road. 

When you arrived to the jet, everyone made themselves comfortable for the journey home. Emily sprawled onto one of the two seaters while JJ made herself comfortable on the other, Hotch and Rossi were sitting across from each other with their coffee. Spencer stretched himself over the span of the couch, going back to sleep. You and Derek sat beside each other on the two seater that was left. 

The flight back was quiet, the only sounds were Spencer turning over constantly on the couch, Emily snoring and Hotch’s pen scribbling away on his paper. Derek’s arm rested over your shoulder and your head was on his shoulder. 

“What’s the date?” Hotch asked Rossi 

“June 6th” he said

June 6th seemed so familiar to you, as if you were supposed to remember it. You sat there pondering about it for a few minutes before Derek’s voice broke through your thoughts.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I can't seem to place why June 6th is important” you mumbled before looking out the window 

Derek hummed, not giving you an answer. You went over the events of your day to see if you could remember. Woke up to a call from Hotch, woke up everyone, said goodbye to Derek’s family, Derek’s lingering hug and whisper from his mom, the drive to the jet, Hotch asking the date. 

Derek’s lingering hug and whisper from his mom. 

June 6th.

It was his birthday. 

You sat up and turned to him, he looked at you. “What’s wrong?” his brows furrowed, confused as to why you moved. You pulled him into a hug, “Happy birthday D” He chuckled, “thank you pretty lady” 

You leaned into kiss his cheek but he had the same idea, resulting in your lips on his. He smiled against your lips, pulling you closer to him. Your hands found their way to his chest, resting there as you kissed him. 

He pulled away, both of you breathless. 

October 26th 2012 

You walked to work in the rain. 

You had woken up late, you didn't feel like going but you promised Spencer you would help him prank Derek for halloween. You had just ended your relationship, you couldn’t take it anymore. You were constantly fighting and he always said you picked your work over him, which you did but that was only because work was the only escape you had.

No one at work knew about your boyfriend, other than Hotch. He had walked into the stairwell to find you crying, you explained to him what had happened. You made him promise not to tell anyone, especially Derek. You knew how Derek was, he would have killed your boyfriend if he found out. Hotch didn’t know the full extent of your relationships, just the arguments and the sleepless nights. You often found yourself in his office, keeping him company while he worked just so you wouldn't have to go home. 

You were soaking wet by the time you reached the BAU, you walked straight to Derek’s office. His back was to the door when you walked in, “just a sec” he mumbled when you pushed the door shut. He spun his chair, “hey ma- what happened?” there was a very noticeable frown on your face. He stood up and walked over, he went to give you a hug. Your first reaction was to take a step back and secondly, your body automatically flinched. 

“hey, hey, baby... it’s just me. it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” He stayed where he was, his face was unreadable. “y/n..” he called for you, you walked over. You practically fell into his arms, clinging onto him. His arms wrapped around you slowly, not wanting to startle you anymore than he already had. 

“You know I would never touch you like that or hurt you, you know that right?” he kissed the top of your head, your face still buried in his chest. Something about Derek always brought comfort to you. Sometimes it’s his smile, sometimes it’s a hug and other times, it’s just him as a whole. “Do you want to talk about it ?” he asked you quietly, you shook your head. “Let me take you home to change” you shook your head again, 

“I don’t want to go home”

“You can’t stay in wet clothes all day. Let me just take you home to get stuff and then we can go back to my place ?” 

He led you to the car, you both sat in silence the whole drive. He knew you’d tell him what happened when you were ready, it didn’t make sense to push you. He pulled into the driveway, “can you come in with me?” you mumbled, he nodded. You weren't sure if your ex boyfriend was there to get his stuff, he knew you'd be at work right now so there was a chance that he had stopped by. 

You pushed the door open, there was a broken vase on the floor, the water and flowers from the vase spread across the floor. A picture frame of you and your ex thrown on the floor, a dent on the wall from where he had thrown it. 

Derek didn’t say anything, he followed you up the stairs to your bedroom. Your clothes were thrown all over your room, the drawers from your dresser were pulled out and a few were on the floor, a perfume bottle was shattered on the bathroom floor, the contents of the bottle spilling everywhere. 

You sat on the bed, the tears started to fall. You tried to hold yourself together, you wasted so much of your life on him and you thought you were finally done. Derek sat beside you, letting you cry on his shoulder. 

“Baby, talk to me.. please”

You told him everything, from the moment you realized you were in love to when you realized that this wasn't love, from when you told Hotch and how you would spend nights with him in his office so you wouldn’t have to go home. You told him how you ended things last night, and that the house was fine before you left for work. 

Derek looked sad, not only for you but for himself too, why didn’t he realize what was happening sooner? If he did, he would have helped you.

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do mama. You’re going to pack a bag and you’re staying with me for a few days. I’m going to change all the locks and latches in this house and put in an alarm system. Don’t even bother about the mess, I'll clean it up, you just need to get out of here” he gave you a hug. 

“I promise you that he’ll never hurt you again” 

December 24th, 2012 

The entire team had come over for Christmas Eve dinner at your place. After everything that happened with your ex, Derek made good on his promises. He changed everything and put in an alarm system for you. He helped you move on, he stuck by yourself when you felt alone and lost. You found yourself spending more and more time with him. 

Rossi had come over and helped you cook. Penelope and Spencer spent the afternoon locked up in your guest bedroom wrapping gifts, one of them stepping out for a few hours to find more tape or wrapping paper. JJ and Will arrived with the boys, Hotch and Jack showing up a few minutes later. Emily arrived next with a bottle of wine for you, and Derek arrived last with a bunch of bags and gifts. Spencer helped him put all of them under the tree. 

After dinner, Hotch and Rossi stayed at your dining room table with a bottle of scotch while you, JJ, Penelope and Emily were in the kitchen with a bottle of wine. You could hear Derek chasing Jack and Michael around the living room, Will and Spencer laughing as Henry showed them a magic trick. You glance over at them, Derek is spinning Jack around and Micheal is on the floor, laughing. You can’t help but smile. 

“Close your mouth sweet cheeks, you’re going to drool all over yourself” Penelope whispers to you, nudging your shoulder with hers. You blush but blamed it on too much wine, “I have no clue what you’re talking about” 

“Whatever you say sugar, but I can see the looks you give chocolate thunder and the ones he’s been giving you” she takes a sip of her wine before turning to walk to the living room. “Wait! what looks?” you ask and she shakes her head.

Penelope calls everyone into the living room, everyone has found a spot and made themselves comfortable. Jack, Henry, Michael and Spencer have all made themselves comfortable on the floor in front of the tree. Penelope helped you pass the gifts out to everyone.

Two hours and 8 rolls of gift paper later, everyone had collected their presents and said goodnight before leaving, Derek stayed back to help you tidy up. “You didn’t have to stay back, I know you probably have better things to do on Christmas Eve” you chuckled, pushing the gift paper into the trash. “Y/n, like I told you the last time, there’s nowhere I rather be on Christmas Eve” 

You smiled at him, remembering that he was talking about the night he spent in the hospital with you. “Thank you though” he nodded.

“Do you want something to drink ? Coffee? Tea?” 

“Tea sounds good” He sat on the kitchen stool by your counter. 

You turned yourself away from him to put some water in the kettle. Derek was shifting around with something behind you, something heavy landed on the counter. Turning around, there was a book on the counter. 

Pride and Prejudice 

It wasn’t just any copy, it was the exact one that your grandfather had gotten you for your 17th birthday. It went missing after your breakup, you figured your ex took it but you weren't up for fighting with him over a book. 

“Derek.. where’d you get this?” you looked down at the book, your fingers running over the front of it.

“Baby girl tracked down someone that knew someone else and I got it for you. I remember you were looking for it after the breakup” 

You never expected Derek to remember something like that, it was just a passing thought as you cleaned up your place, you had forgotten about it yourself. 

“Do you like it?” Derek’s voice broke through your thoughts. You rounded the counter and pulled him into a hug. “I love it, thank you” 

“Merry Christmas y/n” 

“Merry Christmas Derek” 

January 13th, 2013

“Did she like her gift?” was the first thing Penelope asked Derek when he walked into her office. Hotch had given you guys 3 weeks off for the holidays and all of you were now returning to work. Penelope had a lot of time to ponder about her best friend and his crush. 

“Yes she did, thank you for your help baby girl” he leaned down and kissed her cheek, she smiled at him. “Okay spill now” she spun her chair around to face Derek who was leaning against one of the tables. 

“What is there to spill mama?” he chuckled 

“Don’t play stupid with me Derek Morgan. You and y/n, you’ve been spending so much time with her” she told him 

“Awh, are you jealous baby girl? you know you’re my one and only” he laughed 

She shook her head, laughing. “As much as I like hearing that, seriously. What’s going on? I know you care about all of us but you wouldn't have gone out of your way for just a book if it was Emily or Rossi” 

Maybe she was right, there were some underlying feelings that he hadn't told anyone about. “Baby, I think you like her” Penelope looked at him, he shook his head, 

“No, I don’t” 

“Yes, you do” 

“No, I don’t” 

“You do!”

“I don’t!” 

“Derek!” 

“Penelope!” 

“You like her!” 

“I like her! Oh shit.. I like her” his mouth hung open, his brows furrowed. She giggled, “told you so, momma’s always right baby boy” she tapped his leg with her foot. 

He sat beside her on the chair. “What do I-” she cut him off. 

“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to tell that wonderful lady that you like her and should you be so lucky that she likes you back, you take her out on a date, like none other before. You love her and treat her well or I will hurt you” She smiled sweetly at him. 

“You understand me?” she asked him, he nodded before resting his head on her shoulder. Her hand came up to rest on his cheek, she kissed his forehead. 

February 13th, 2013

“Y/n!” Derek shouted for you as you stepped off the elevator. “Hey!” you smiled at him. “What’s the plan for Valentine’s Day, pretty lady ?” you chuckled and shook your head. 

“No plans Der, what about you ? A hot date?” you wiggled your eyebrows, making him laugh. 

“I haven't quite figured out yet, I'll let you know” You smiled before walking up to Hotch’s office to drop off some papers while Derek headed to his desk. 

It was a relatively quiet day at the office, mostly paperwork. It was around lunchtime that Derek worked up the courage to ask you on a date. “Coffee for the pretty lady” he set the mug on your desk, you smiled at him. “Thank you D” he nodded, leaning on your desk. 

“Still no plans?” you asked him while taking a sip, he laughed. 

“I came over here hoping that I could change my lack of plans” he looked at you, a smile on his face. 

“Meaning?” you looked up at him 

“Meaning, would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?” 

You coughed, nearly choking on your coffee. “You okay ?” he asked you, you nodded. “Yeah sorry, I'm fine but yes, I will go on a date with you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I've gotta go to the bathroom” He smiled and you smiled at him before walking out of the bullpen. You headed straight to Penelope’s office. 

“Penny!” you squealed. 

“y/n!” she squealed back, “what’s going on sugar?” 

“Derek asked me on a date” you gave her a small smile 

“What?!” She stood up, pulling you into a hug “Details! What are you gonna wear? Where are you guys going? Are you gonna do the nasty ? Wait, don’t answer that. Surprise me on that one.” 

You laughed, “the red dress you got me for Christmas, no idea maybe dinner ? and I doubt we’ll be doing it” 

February 14th, 2013

There was a knock on the front door as you walked down the stairs. “It’s open!” you shouted, Derek came into view shutting the door behind him. “You look.. wow” he had a bunch of red roses in his hand. You smiled, “thank you, you look wow too” he chuckled and handed the flowers to you, 

“These are for you” 

“Thank you, they're beautiful. Let me put them in a vase and we can go?” 

He nodded and sat on your steps while you headed to the kitchen. You came back a few minutes later and the two of you headed out. Derek took you to a little restaurant in the city, it wasn’t in central D.C but still in the city. It was quiet and the two of you sat outside. Dinner was quiet, you had normal small talk, sharing your plans for the summer and Derek told you about his trip to see his mom. 

“Y/n, can I tell you something?” Derek’s hand rested on yours, you nodded for him to continue. 

“I like-” “Sir, here's your cheque” the waiter smiled at you two, leaving it on the table. You held back a giggle, “you were saying?” you looked at him. 

“I like you, like really like you. I’ve felt this way for a while and I figured after everything you’ve been through you deserve someone that would take care of you, treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I hope I could be that person” he looked back at you. 

“I like you too, Derek and I would love for you to be that person” 

March 18th, 2015

Rossi insisted that everyone come over after the last case to unwind. Your life had been going well lately, you and Derek had been together for a little over 2 years. You had told him to go over to Rossi’s without you and you would get a ride with Hotch. 

Hotch picked you up a little after 8. “Sorry, I had to help Jack with something before dropping him at Jessica’s.” “Oh that’s alright, thanks for picking me up.” He nodded and drove to Rossi’s. Hotch wasn't one for small talk but today he was. 

“How are things with you and Morgan ?” 

“Good actually” 

“He makes you happy ?” 

“He does” 

“Good, you deserve happiness y/n” 

“Thank you Aaron, so do you. Maybe it's time for you to start trying to find someone” you suggested. “It’s been a while since Haley and I know she was your first love but she would want you to be happy.” you looked over at him, he had a small smile on his face. 

“Actually, I started seeing someone” 

“What? Really? Tell me more” 

He laughed and pulled in Rossi’s driveway. “Maybe another time, let’s go in” He got out of the car and waited for you before heading to the door. Rossi let you both in, but the house was empty. “Where’s everyone ?” you asked, Rossi looked over at Hotch and smiled, the two of them led you to the backyard. “You guys aren't going to kill me right?” Aaron gave you a look to stop your nonsense making you laugh. Everyone stood in the backyard with Derek in the middle of them. 

“What’s going on?” you looked around 

Derek stepped forward, “y/n..” he got on one knee, your jaw dropped, literally. 

“You know I love you, I'd go to the end of the earth and back for you. You have shown me what happiness and love looks like and you bring out the best in me. Make me the happiest man and marry me?” 

“yes, of course” you laughed, he got up and pulled you into a hug before slipping the ring on your finger. 

December 24th, 2016 

“How do I look? Is my veil crooked ?” you looked over at him, Hotch shook his head. “You look perfect y/n” he smiled at you which made you smile. The bridal march began. 

“Too late to run away ?” you looked over as you hooked your arm with his. 

“Too late to run away. Are you ready?” he asked and you nodded. 

The doors opened, Derek stood at the end of the aisle. Rossi stood beside him as your officiant and Spencer on the other side of him as his best man. Penelope was across from them as your maid of honour. Aaron walked you down the aisle, handing you off to Derek. Aaron kissed your cheek, “be good to her Derek, she’s precious” 

You looked out into the crowd to see JJ, Will and their boys with Emily beside them, Hotch sat beside Jack and Beth was on the other side of Jack. Derek’s mom and his sisters were in the front. Rossi started to speak when everyone settled down. 

“As someone who’s been married multiple times, I'm an expert” 

“4 times!” Emily pointed out

“It was only 3 but anyways, we’re here today to honour these two beautiful people and watch them commit themselves to each other. I’ll keep my part short, do you have vows?” Rossi looked over at you and you nodded. 

“You guys know what saying, whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same? Whenever I hear that, I think of us. From the day I met you, I realized you were special. You made me laugh and smile like no one had ever done before. You were there for me when I gave up, when I needed someone to be there for me. You helped me get back on my feet, you taught me what real love looks like, what happiness feels like and what it feels like to truly be loved” you looked at Derek and smiled, he was wiping away the tears. “Everyday, I'm thankful for you because you make me who I am, I'm complete when I'm with you.” You squeezed his hand and gave him a smile. 

“I don't know how you’re going to top that” Rossi patted his back, making Derek chuckle. 

“As you said, from the day I met you, I knew you were special, but our love story didn’t begin until that day in the hospital, exactly 6 years ago today. You were injured and I sat in your room on Christmas Eve, you were trying to get me to go home and I told you that there’s nowhere I would rather be because you’re the one I choose, always. Through space and time and back, I'll find my way back to you and choose you. There’s no one else for me y/n, so I promise to you here today in front of our family that I will love you with no bounds because you give me hope, give me joy, and make me a better man.” 

After that, there was not a dry eye in that room, even Hotch teared up. “I think you beat me” you whispered to him. 

“Well, I've watched these two grow and fall in love with each other over the last 6 years and I've been very lucky to see that. I remember the day Derek told Spencer that he was taking y/n on a date and when Derek came to me to ask me to use the house for the proposal. These two were meant to be and by the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife. you may- oh you’re already kissing” Rossi laughed. 

Derek held your hand as the two of you made your way back down the aisle, now as Mr and Mrs. Morgan. 

Actually as, Agent and Agent Morgan. 

[descendantofthesparrow]

Harry Hook x Reader - soulmate au! lost things

=

A soulmate. Something everyone had, whether they be on the Isle or in Auradon. You had watched your mom and dad hand things the other had lost back to each other, either be a pen or a full stack of papers.

Oh, did I forget to mention? Soulmates found whatever the other lost. So say one lost their phone? The other would find it moments later.

Sometimes appearing mid-air and dropping into your hands. Your mom had once lost her wedding ring when she was cooking, your dad decided to be all dorky and “propose” all over again.

It was one of your fondest memories of them, it always filled you with the hope that one day, maybe you and your soulmate would be that way.

Speaking of your soulmate.

A pair of headphones appeared out of the corner of your eye. You smiled and picked them up, examining them.

They were a dark red with black leather for the ear cushions, little silver and gold bits and bobs decorated the headband and outer shell of the speakers, a small cross bone skull painted on the left ear.

You knew for a while that your soulmate was and isle kid, from the state of the items he lost. Always run down or used, broken, worn down, and sometimes, things you had “lost” before that he had lost again.

Like this pair of headphones, it was a pair of headphones you had bought last month and “lost” them, and now soulmate had lost them again.

You tossed them onto your bed and continued to work, knowing you would soon forget about them and they would return to your soulmate.

=

Harry growled in frustration as he tore through his room for his headphones. “goddamnit!” he yelled, tossing up his pillows, hearing them thud on the ground behind him a moment later.

“where the hell are meh headphones!?!” Harriet rolled her eyes behind him, messing with the threads of her new shirt (mostly new, her soulmate had lost it recently)

“yeh dolt it's with yer soulmate, yeh will get it back soon jus’ wait” she muttered, sneering as Harry turned to her and stuck his tongue out.

“shut up Hettie” he jeered back, grabbing his discarded pillows and tossing them back on his bed.

Somehow throughout the years, his soulmate had lost a lot of of….comfortable things, like soft fluffy pillows, blankets, hoodies, and even a full bag of food!

Sometimes he thought his soulmate purposely lost things to give him stuff. It was one of the reasons he wasn’t starving to death or sleeping on a lump of stone for a mattress so he wouldn’t complain.

“harry” he looked at his sister, pressing his lips together and shrugging.

“what” he stressed, eyes drifting to where she was pointing.

There on his dresser was his headphones, though they weren’t there a moment ago “told ya”

Harry glared at her and snatched them off his dresser, tossing them around his neck and stomping out of his room.

=

“(y/n) I swear I can't find my new shirt! I just got it last week!” Audrey whined about her shirt, it was a non-expensive one but it was comfortable and breathable. You sighed through the phone.

“Audrey, if you can't find it, your soulmate has it, so just chill okay?”

She sighed “I know I know but that was a good shirt!”

“just buy another one?” you suggested, knowing she could easily do that.

“but that was-what the-oh” you heard something in the background and you sat up.

“new thing?”

“uh…yeah? It’s a ….bracelet?”

“whats it looks like?” you trapped your phone between your cheek and neck, continuing to work on your essay.

“silver, bunch of….piraty things on it? Is the best way to describe it I guess, and some red gems on it too”

“sounds cool” you laughed, setting your phone down and turning on speakerphone. “so hows you “vacation” going?”

“pretty good, I got my hair done”

“I saw, it looks dope” you complimented. Audrey hummed back.,

“I like it too, so anything new for you?”

“yeah, headphones, and a ring” you glanced at the red ruby ring on your desk, the teeth of the skull clamping around the jewel” “so you’re sure its an isle kid?”

“has to be, everything they lose is used, the only thing that was relatively new was stuff I lost”

“hmmm, well you know I really don’t like isle kids”

“correction, you don’t like Mal” you interrupted quickly, knowing she liked Evie to an extent and Carlos and Jay weren’t really on her radar.

“yeah yeah, but if they are an isle kid I won't be mean, if it's your soulmate it's your soulmate!”

“same for you Aud” you teased, her lost things were also very…isle like, but she constantly denied it.

“oh shut up”

You glanced at your clock and sighed “I gotta go, I have a thing to do”

“im guessing cotillion?” Audrey muttered.

“yeah, sorry Aud”

“its fine, its not your fault Ben was spelled”

“I know, but still” you murmured, saving your essay and closing your laptop “alright I really gotta go!”

“bye! Talk to you later kisses!” she made a kiss sound and hung up, leaving you to get to jane to help plan cotillion.

=

You jumped as Lonnie burst into your room, speaking quickly “bens on the isle kidnapped by pirates and I need your help to convince Jay and Carlos to let us help!”

You stayed silent as you processed her words before leaping out of bed and quickly getting dressed.

“let's go!” you grabbed your sword and ran out with Lonnie,  running around to the front.

“we’re coming with you guys” Lonnie stated, surprising  Jay and Carlos, the two boys laughed nervously.

“what? We don’t need swords at the…..waffle hut?” Carlos's smile dropped and he slowly turned his head to look at jay.

“really?”

“look its either you take us or….we’re gonna have to tell fairy godmother” jay and claros glanced at each other and sighed.

“alright, but (y/n) do you eve-“

You snorted and lifted up your arm, revealing the P tattoo you had gotten a couple of years back In honor of your uncle jack.

“There are some things I haven't told you guys” you laughed, pushing past them and heading to the limo.

=

Harry raised his brow as beasty boy kept glancing at his wrist “what are yeh lookin’ at beasty” he huffed, pointing his hook at him.

“…that bracelet looks very familiar for some reason” Ben muttered, squinting at the red and (f/c) beaded bracelet.

“so wha’ its meh soulmates” Harry rolled his eyes, turning around and strutting around the mainmast.

Bens eyes widened, that’s where he recognized it, it was (y/n)s! maybe-

“Finally!!!” ben was ripped from the mast, and pushed to the plank. “so lets get this started shall we!!” Ben looked to the group had arrived, relieved to see you among them.

No matter how pirate someone was, it was hard to beat the daughter of the king of pirates after all.

(y/n) turner.

=

You glanced around, some of these guys were hardly holding their swords correctly. You kept your sword behind your back since Mal had said to keep them hidden so Uma didn’t know anything was up.

Soon, mal passed the wand to uma, ben being handed back to her. As the pirates yelled in victory, you locked eyes with the tall red-coated boy, his bright ocean blue eyes sending a shock down your spine.

‘the hell’ you thought to your self, shaking your head, about to run back to the tunnel when uma screamed and broke the “wand”

“NO!” your eyes widened, watching as Uma drew her sword “YOU DO NOT GET TO WIN EVERY TIME!” Carlos dug out the smoke bombs and launched them at the pirates.

You sighed, drawing your sword and flipping it in your hand, cringing as mal fumbled to grip ber sword correctly.

“mal space your fingers and move your thumb to the right!”

You leaped down the deck, landing in a crouch next to mal. “you focus on ben, ill handle any that come” mal looked startled but obeyed, running up the deck to get to ben.

Uma locked eyes with you, pointing her sword at you “get her!”

You smirked, twisting around and dodging several pirates blades, heh, your baby cousin could fight better than these goons.

Uam huffed, deciding to deal with you herself. You smirked as she ran at you, easily blocking and parrying her attacks.

She was quite good, possibly taught by one of the OG pirates that lived on the isle, but still.

She couldn’t best you. You disarmed her and tripped her, wincing slightly as she hit the deck with a loud smack.

“who the hell-“ her eyes widened as she caught sight of your wrist. You smirked.

“honor among thieves young captain” you purred, embedding her cutlass beside her head. As you ran to head back to the tunnel, something appeared mid-air.

A silver hook.

…

…

…

Oddest fucking timing you got ain't cha soulmate??? You ignored it, strapping the hook to your belt loops and running, not seeing umas jaw drop as that entire event happened.

“holy shit” she muttered, jumping as Harry popped up behind her and growled.

“I lost meh hook!”

=

Later in the limo, Evie finally caught sight of the hook, her eyes widening “h-how did you get Harrys hook? You never fought with him??”

“Harry who?” you muttered confused, grabbing the hook from your waist and holding it up “wait was this Harry apart of the battle?”

“yes! He was uma first mate! The one with the red coat!” Evie stressed.

You were silent for a moment before facepalming “this popped out of the air just as we were leaving.”

“oh shit” the car sounded back, Harry Hook was your soulmate.

=

A year later, the hook still sat on your dresser, delicately placed in a display case, and polished every week.

You had been unable to forget about it, unable to send it back to harry. So you kept it, not being able to go to the isle and give it back personally.

Until one day.

You dove underwater, glaring back up at the surface as you saw Audrey disappear.

You were really glad you followed your gut and took the hook with you to Janes birthday party.

Breaching the surface you took heavy breathes, swimming to the edge and lifting yourself up onto the grotto.

“come on, we gotta warn the others!” you lifted jane out of the pool.

“you go do that, I have to get my stuff!” you took your bike back to the dorms, changing out of your wet party clothes and into your gear.

You slid your loose leather jacket up to just below your elbow, putting on your gloves and ring.

Black pants with reinforced knees, calf-length steel toe boots, and your sword, hook once more on your belt loop.

As you stepped out of the dorms, you locked eyes with the vks.

“hey” you yelled out, smirking as they all jumped. “where the hell have you all been??”

“uh, getting hades ember???” mal looked you up and down, raising her brows “why are you dressed like that?”

“because I can” you snorted, locking eyes with harry “hey, I think this is yours” unhooking the hook, tossing it to harry.

He fumbled to catch it, jaw-dropping as he realized what it was “how-when did yeh get me…..oh…OH!” his cheeks turned pink, looking away from you and into his shoulder.

“yep, how’d you lose it in the first place?” you asked, watching as Harry glared at jay. “ah, gotcha” you snorted, following the group out as they had decided to go to the castle.

=

You smiled as the bridge began to build, your parents just behind you, hands on your shoulders. “you ready (y/n)” your mom asked, brushing a piece of cake off your cheek,

“yeah, and I think you guys will like him” you snickered. Your parents looked at each other, smiles on their faces.

“and why is that?”

“hes a pirate” you laughed, watching as Harry stepped over the bridge/Auradon border and locked eyes with you, a bright smile on his lips. He started to walk over to you.

“like mother like daughter” your dad laughed, grinning widely as you ran forward into Harry's arms.

“found yeh” Harry laughed, nuzzling his cheek into your hair, holding you tightly to his chest.

“I think our daughters in good hands” your mom hummed, intertwining hands with Will and walking over to greet harry.

you turned, smirking as you saw a black haired pirate girl hang Audrey recently lost necklace in front of her, Audrey cheeks Turing dark and she buried her face in her hands.

“wait Hetties soulmate is Audrey?....whoa” harry laughed, watching as his sister kissed the princesses forehead.

“i knew it” you chuckled, taking Harry arm and dragging him to meet your parents half way. “i never told you who my parents were right?”

“no?”

“yeah my moms Elizabeth Swan and my dads Will Turner.”

“WHAT?!”

---the end---

-this isn’t my best but I just had to get this idea out of my head, inspired by tik tok POVs with this au, might do a more in depth version of this--

 permtaglist

@queer-cosette​

@sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​

@random-thoughts-003​

@amorathegamingkitsune​

@rintheemolion​

[memorylang]

2020’s End and 2021’s Beginning | #48 | December 2020

If 2020 came in a flash, it ended with a fade. Still, it was a pleasant fade. I describe here my U.S. adventures from Christmas to New Year’s. For photos from these stories, you can check my WeChat or Instagram @memoryLang. I also reference tales from Christmas 2019 and New Year’s 2020, about which you can read in December 2019 and January 2020 stories. Onward to adventures! 

Christmas 2020

Since my family couldn’t attend Midnight Mass as we usually do, a sister and I instead decided to carol at home. The year before, when I’d come home from Mongolia, we’d caroled at church. This time we caroled to Sister’s own piano accompaniment, with lyrics in old hymnals and online. We enjoyed singing harmonies inspired by Pentatonix and various years of choir. Through this, Dad mostly slept while other siblings did other activities. Our youngest sister was with her boyfriend’s family, our older brother with his girlfriend’s, and our stepsisters with our stepmom at their place. 

On Christmas Day, my siblings and I readied the house while Dad helped our stepfamily finish cooking. The evening before, we’d done cleaning with Dad, too, but Dad always had more for us to do. Then the stepsisters and Tita arrived, bringing food with which we filled the kitchen island upon which my siblings and I had draped a large cloth. We watched online a Christmas liturgy while waiting for my older brother and his girlfriend to arrive, I botched the before-meal prayer since I was put on the spot, then we enjoyed a delicious meal of both American and Filipino dishes and desserts. 

After the meal, we had about a half hour before Stepsisters needed to head to work, so we moved from the dining room to the living room for gifts. We began our Secret Santa. I delivered my gift first, to my youngest sister. She and the others felt amused that I’d simply wrapped the Amazon box in which her gifts came, scribbled out “Alexa” from some ads then wrote her name half a dozen times instead. Our oldest stepsister couldn’t make it since she was home with her partner and their newborn. But, she video called in to see my sibling’s reactions from her gift. 

As gifts that I’d received from my youngest stepsister, I’d gotten new travel items, like a journal and eye mask. I felt delighted. From my dad and Tita, I received a new brainstorming notebook and a jacket coincidentally in my Hogwarts house colors of silver, black and yellow. From myself I received a CrashCourse Mongol t-shirt that even a Mongol friend recognized and loved! 

National and State Parks, Monuments and Forests

From the next days, Dec. 26 to 29, my national parks friends and I embark on our last trip of the year, to see a collection of sights in Arizona. Over the next few days, we see Walnut Canyon, Petrified Forest, Meteor Crater, Sedona's Devil's Bridge and the Grand Canyon. I feel awed by the spectacles and amazed by the geological history of this earth. My friends and I take lots of photos. 

As on our other road trips, we talk politics and life goals and telenovelas, too. As a group of minorities, we’re pleased with the presidential election results that released since our previous road trip. Still, we’re glad that the current administration has been able to get COVID-19 vaccines out to people even before the year’s end. I feel relieved that my prospects of returning to Peace Corps Mongolia seem more likely. Till then, we’re also glad that we’ll get more stimulus money to help cover our weird year’s last expenses. As for the telenovelas, I find out about Turkish and Hispanic stories, popular characters and a global community of viewers. Between the day’s adventures, I complete online at our hotels some freemium Pokémon yearend challenges, too. 

Of the sights we behold, I’m most awed by the Grand Canyon. My family had visited it the year before we moved to Vegas, but that was over a decade ago. During that trip, my youngest brother had gone off the path to return down a slope to our minivan and had encouraged Mom to follow. Well, Mom slipped on the rocks and broke her ankle, which cut short that trip. I didn’t remember much from the Grand Canyon because of that. 

On this trip, my friends and I see the snow-covered Canyon blanketed by encroaching cloud banks only sometimes split by sunlit rays. I love the rainbow of colors, from the red rocks to the aqua Colorado River. The pines of green and dark brown hold sheaths of white. The sky shows hints of violet from the blues and pink as our sun sets. 

And the sheer faces of the rocks, my God—They were so steep! I’d wanted to hike into the Canyon, but the ice made that less safe. Instead, a friend and I hiked the southern Rim Trail to its first lookout points. I felt quite a fill of wonder. We saw fauna, too, perhaps elk. The animals added to the natural grandeur that we saw on our trek. With our trip having built up in scale from the smaller Walnut Canyon and Petrified Forest to the epic Devil's Bridge in Sedona, the Grand Canyon truly felt like our grand finale. 

New Year’s Eve 2020

Just after midnight passed to begin Dec. 31, 2020, I was taking a few hours to wrap up my year-in-review post for WeChat, to share with my Chinese family and friends. Concluding it, I slept many hours. I re-awoke during what was daytime for Dec. 31 in Vegas but in Asia just past midnight to begin Jan. 1, 2021. For the next hour, Chinese and Mongol friends wished me Happy New Year, and I returned the greetings. 

Vegas and Siblings 

After I broke from my New Year’s greetings, my siblings and I spent a little over an hour playing Nintendo Switch games. My little sister with whom I’d sung carols on Christmas Eve did the “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” yearend event, so I joined her in co-op to gather resources on her island. Our younger brother wanted to play “Smash: Ultimate,” so the three of us played that next, including for the first time the Roy amiibo that our older brother had gifted me for my July 2020 birthday. I played a lot of Byleth and Corrin since I’d still “Fire Emblem: Three Houses” on my mind. (Just before Christmas, I’d finally reached the time skip in the Blue Lions story.) 

After the games, our sister wanted to hike the Lone Mountain on the west side of the Vegas valley. So, we hopped in a sedan to ride over. Though on the day before, Sister had let me practice driving for my first time in over a year, I didn’t feel like asking to take on the highway. I comfortably rode in back. 

The hike felt surprisingly strenuous, given that the small peak sat right there in Vegas. Though, our hike was much quicker than my national and state park and monument trails. The scenery reminded me of my trip to Red Rock Canyon back on Nov. 18 with another friend. With no discernable single path up Lone Mountain, I remembered hikes on Mongolia’s mountains. My siblings and I found its summit windy. I registered our names in a composition notebook at the top, then we proceeded down. On our way home, we passed through a shopping plaza from which I’d accompanied Tita to pick up food for my older brother’s March 2020 birthday. I felt amazed by how many months have passed. 

Back at the Vegas house, I showered and had meal of Christmas leftovers. Then I finished packing my small personal item for my Allegiant flight, hopped back in a car with my younger sister, finished my last social post of 2020—a family-focused reflection—then began my march to airport security for Terminal A. 

Even though I reached the airport at my flight’s boarding time, the place was so empty that I went through security and found my gate before staff finished boarding passengers. I’d received a message that a Mongol friend wanted me to review her personal statements before she submitted them for U.S. college applications. So, I finished reading and commenting on those aboard my flight before staff had us turn our devices to airplane mode. I felt stressed about having dropped my learner’s permit card somewhere, penned a last journal entry of 2020, slept through most of my flight then felt relieved when a flight attendant found my ID card before our plane descended. 

Reno and Friends 

I disembark from my flight to Reno just after 8:40 p.m. I feel touched on my walk from the terminal by the voice of Mayor Schieve in an ad, “If this is your first visit or your home away from home, welcome to Reno.” At this moment I realize that Reno really is my home away from home. 

I exit the airport, where my guy friend who’d married last year walks up to me. To my surprise, his red sports jersey contains two Chinese characters, “火箭,” in gold across the top. He asks about their meaning. Given that we’re at New Year’s Eve, I think at first, “fireworks.” But, I know those characters as “烟火” /yānhuǒ/. 

Certainly, his jersey’s first character, “火” /huǒ/, means “fire.” As for the second, I only recognize parts. The top’s ⺮ /zhú/ radical means “bamboo,” while the bottom part resembles “前” /qián/, which means “before.” As for what fire, bamboo and before mean together, I’m not sure. 

While we walk, I at last consult my Pleco dictionary app. I scribble in the “箭” to see that it’s pronounced /jiàn/ and means “arrows.” This explains the presence of the bamboo radical. Thus, “fire” and “arrows” taken together, “火箭” /Huǒjiàn/, mean, “Rockets.” My friend explains that this is a sports team. 

After getting in the red vehicle with his wife whose first wedding anniversary was just the day before, my friend explains that he’d gotten to learn about Chinese characters in his religious studies course about contemporary Daoism. So cool! 

The couple and I had kept in touch the past year over video, but this New Year’s Eve is our first time together in the same city since my return to the Peace Corps in January. I’m elated to see them again! My friends and I arrive at the newish fencing studio of our friend who owns it and was part of their wedding party last year. Turns out that he’s relocated to a larger studio since the time that my friends took me fencing in the spring of 2018, before my second trip to China. This new studio used to be a mechanic shop apparently, so it’s quite spacious. 

2020 Ends in Dodgeball 

Though I don’t recognize the few others present, I’m warmly greeted by one who’s the girlfriend of our fencing friend. She introduces me to others. I’m touched by folks’ inclusiveness. I’m amazed to find on the food table Pizza Plus, as, just a few days before, I’d weirdly craved some Reno-Sparks Pizza Plus (which I hadn’t eaten in over a year). God blesses us. 

For the next few hours, after a series of mostly leg stretches, we play a physically distant sport that I haven’t played in years, dodgeball. While I’m not used to dashing with a facemask on and sanitizing my hands between rounds, I have great fun. While my aim remains lacking, I can for the most part still dodge, and I’m able to swipe balls to hand to my more capable teammates. To my surprise, I receive MVP status from folks after finishing a round by catching a  teammate’s fumble and getting our last opponent out. 

A couple hours in, we switch games to a form of “Mushroom Ball,” a free-for-all type of dodgeball game in which we individually try to take out other players before someone gets us. In this game that we play till just before midnight, I do much better. I’m able to catch and throw at close range against folks who don’t notice me. Still, the amount of times others hit me causes me to really work my legs, since we squat when we’re out. My legs haven’t recovered much from the recent dodgeball, the afternoon Lone Mountain hike nor the evening flight from Vegas. Yet, I love the fun. 

2021 Begins 

My friends new and old walk out into the cold night of light snow, where one pops a shower of confetti and another a champagne bottle when we see fireworks appear across the valley of Reno-Sparks. We chat about our resolutions and take selfies. I recount memes about how saying, “2021,” sounds like, “2020 won.” We laugh and return inside as the wind picks up. 

I discover that I don’t much like the taste of even flavored champagne, but thankfully my friends’ cookies have enough sweetness to cut the bitterness. My friends mention that their family always bakes holiday cookies, which brings back vague memories from their wedding when I stayed with their family at an Airbnb. Our 2019 had ended in what felt such different times. 

My friend in the Rockets jersey talks up my accomplishments and Mongolia service, which makes me feel both bashful and delighted. Turns out that some of the folks at this little get-together had been looking into Peace Corps service! I share my experiences with them and my hope to return. One woman and I had even taken a class together in fall 2017, which feels like a remarkable blast from my undergrad past. Before the couple who brought me from the airport drives me to my family’s house, I exchange contact info with my new friends. I’m surprised to realize that the new fencing studio is just a few blocks from the neighborhood in which I’d lived from fall 2017 to spring 2019 graduation. 

Into the New Year

I arrive at the now-quiet Reno house, where I continue to exchange New Year’s greetings over social media well past midnight. I shower then get my bearings while others are still out and about. After resting away the rest of my morning from aching over the eve’s soreness, I play some seasonal events on the freemium Pokémon games. Then, I reengage on social media with New Year’s greetings. 

Quite liking the quiet home, I bring together this New Year’s blog story. Oddly enough, many of the couches that were in Vegas during Christmas are now here in Reno, since my parents and siblings had moved them while I was in Arizona. Curiously, the little neighbor boy had alluded to this when calling from his window when he saw me having just returned to Vegas. Before I’d left Vegas for Reno, I’d seen him on a hoverboard that he and his siblings had gotten for Christmas, reminding me of the one that my Mongol host family had gotten the August 2019 week when we’d said goodbye. 

Here in Reno, there are Christmas leftovers brought up from Vegas, too. So, I’m grateful not to cook. For dinner, I reunite with the couple who’d greeted me last night, and we enjoy sushi to celebrate the end of their brief return to northern Nevada, in the fellowship of our fencing instructor friend and his girlfriend. I heard such wonderful stories from everyone and feel quite inspired for whatever blessings may come. Life’s been nice. 

My New Year’s theme is, “serenity,” through which I mean to focus less on the things I can’t control and more on those that I can. Part of this will involve closing up some old projects and making myself ready to go back to Mongolia as soon as the time comes. This is at least going to soak up the first quarter or half of 2021. Perhaps when I’m back in Mongolia I’ll focus more on readjusting. 

In the meantime, I’m trying to finish moving through the stories, “Kafka on the Shore” and “The Brothers Karamazov,” while I work on my memoir writing. I’m looking to finish my close-read of “The Souls of Mao” while I re-re-(re-, etc.)revise my thesis for journal submission. And, I’m looking to complete “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” while I tidy my things. I always welcome new suggestions to my lists, and you can see mine on Goodreads. 

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! 

I look forward to writing to you soon in 2021. May you stay vigilant against the spread of the Coronavirus disease, as we await wider access to vaccines. I pray that soon our lives will open into the new world that we’ll know when we can at last be together again. 

Sincerely, Daniel Lindbergh Lang

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

[mrsbenedictbridgerton]

How not to fall for Killian Jones (and other failed endeavours)

SURPRISE! Hey @xerxesrises, tis I, your very tardy GFSS! This is one of those situations where what I set out to write bears little to no resemblance to what ended up on the page or what I had planned to write initially. Regardless, I hope you like it.

A huge thank you to my wonderful beta, nickillian/Ztofan, for all her tireless efforts to make my writing not suck!

Also on FF.NET and AO3

She wasn’t really good at any kind of resolutions - New Year’s or otherwise. Maybe that was why it was so easy to break them.

7:52 pm  Failure one: Not thinking of or fully considering the consequences

Bored and listless, Emma Swan drummed her nails on the surface of her standard issue corporate desk. Around her, the office was silent, its beige walls absent of the echoed sound of her workmates chatter. This was unsurprising, considering it was New Year’s Eve and almost 8pm but still disconcerting when used to the hubbub of the dozens or so coworkers who shared the twelfth floor. She stared at the phone for the hundredth time, willing it to ring and give her something to do, yet it remained stubbornly quiet.

Letting out a frustrated huff, she picked up her lukewarm coffee and knocked back an unpleasant gulp while she reminded herself that she had volunteered to work that night (and that it was triple pay that she badly needed).

It had seemed a great idea at the time; now, not so much.

She slipped her hand into the pocket of the red leather jacket that hung over her chair and pulled out a small, black leather notebook. It had been a gift from her closest friend and one time roommate - Mary Margaret - one that had started out as a trendy ‘bullet journal’ when Emma had complained one too many times about not being focused enough in her life. Her friend had sworn that this would change everything. Well, it hadn’t taken long for daily lists with twee little codes and pretty pens to be replaced with grocery lists scrawled in sharpie and the once pristine pages to be stuffed with receipts and business cards.

Emma flicked to the back and grabbed one of the number 2 pencils that sat in a pot on her desk. She scrawled at the top of the page: Emma Swan, 2016. And beneath began a start assessment of her life.

31 years old

Proud renter of a one bedroom apartment with a kickass view of Boston Harbor

Owner of a car older than she is

Single

Hopelessly addicted to hot cocoa (with cinn

Stuck in a goddamn rut.

 She underlined the last one three times. Tapping the eraser of the pencil against the page, she paused.

Mary Margaret had once told her that her problem was that she spent so long pondering what direction to take her life yet so little time putting anything into action (hence the damn journal). At the time she had brushed off the comment, but now, begrudgingly, she had to admit her friend was right. While Mary Margaret was always working on improving herself (and had even found just about the best still-single man in the city), Emma was still exactly where she had been for the past few years. That’s not to say that Emma was unhappy… just a little lost. Or maybe unfulfilled. And certainly lacking in direction.

Like her current place of work, for example. It was yet another one of those situations where her laissez faire attitude had led her down a path that she had not intended. See, this job was supposed to be temporary - a short work contract, earning her enough to pay some of her overdue rent and get her landlord off her back. An old friend, Ruby, had hooked her up after they’d met up for some drinks and Emma had bemoaned her financial situation. A few weeks working for Mills Security Systems seemed an easy enough way to supplement her bail bonds income (which had taken a nose dive that Spring) and when her friend had told her it was 20 dollars an hour for simply monitoring some alarm systems and taking a few calls, she’d been sold.

Yet now the year was drawing to a close but her ‘temporary’ contract was still going. She had just about paid back her rent when her car had decided to break down, maxing out her credit card and thus extending her supplemental job. She’d even became eligible for basic health care now she’d been there for so long…

Okay, so there were a few positives. She had her own desk - which was a step up from working out of the driver’s seat of her VW Bug. It even had three, half-sized walls around it which gave a modicum of privacy when she was sending WhatsApp messages during working hours. She did like the paycheck. It came in a crisp white envelope, once a week delivered to her little cubicle (the one labeled E. Swam in some clerical error. She’d changed the M to and N with a Sharpie). She liked the regular (ish) hours and the climate controlled environment that meant less time spent freezing in her car or apartment (heating wasn’t cheap during the cold-ass east coast winter). She even liked most of her coworkers. So far, so good?

Well, there was one particular fly in the ointment that made her resolve to quit the job as soon as possible even stronger: Killian Jones, the head of finance who she’d met that first week, and then tried to avoid ever since.

Okay, okay, let’s back up a little.

It had been her third day. She’d already jammed the copier and gotten scolded for taking someone else’s coffee cup from the break room (seriously, it was plain white and looked exactly like all the others). She’d been told to attend a team strategy meeting one floor up on 12 and arrived with her (non-stolen) coffee cup and a minute to spare meaning the only seat in the tiny room had been next to… him. Him being the most attractive man she had seen in a long, long time. Her quick assessment of him as she looked for a seat noted his glossy dark hair and piercing blue eyes and the nonchalant way he crossed his legs at the ankles as they sprawled out in front of him. It wasn’t like she was exactly an innocent gal, but the way he had looked her up and down as she approached the chair beside him had her stomach doing flips and an uncomfortable heat growing between her thighs.

Goddamn it.

(It had been way too long.)

Then as she’d sat, he’d turned and looked her in the eyes, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. He’d introduced himself and then asked her name, repeating it in his silky English accent. It had cut through her like a hot knife through butter and she’d known straight away that he was trouble.

Hey, if things had been different, if she’d met him at a club after a few drinks, she’d have made it quite clear that she thought he was highly fuckable and then added him to her ‘one and done’ list. But even Emma Swan, not exactly employee of the year, knew that one night stands with work colleagues were a recipe for disaster.  

Problem was, he was gorgeous. He was that easy kind of handsome. The kind that took your breath away but at the same time just suited him so well that you couldn’t help but stare, even as your cheeks flushed and your mind turned to goo. And then there was just something about the way he held himself, his manner and posture, that made her want to fucking swoon.

So like a rabbit startled by headlights, she’d decided then and there to not put herself in any situation where she’d be tempted to exercise poor judgment–no matter how freaking hot he was. When the meeting was over she’d scuttled back to the 11th floor as he was distracted by a coworker, yet not without the nagging feeling he was watching her as she left.

Of course, despite her efforts, that wasn’t the only time they had interacted.

A few weeks later, for Ruby’s birthday, a bunch of people had headed to a bar downtown after work to toast in her new age with pineapple margaritas. She didn’t think Killian Jones was exactly a friend of Ruby’s (though she’d mentioned offhand just how ‘hot’ he was in his ‘tight, ass-hugging pants’) so Emma hadn’t hesitated to tag along. But, unexpectedly, he had turned up, looking perfect in a pale grey suit and sky blue shirt, his tie removed and his hair ruffled oh-so-perfectly.

Emma had almost panicked. Which she knew was ridiculous… He was just a guy! She’d met thousands! But whenever she glanced in his direction (and she couldn’t resist), it seemed like he was wearing the most intense, curious look that had made her feel completely naked and exposed. It had ended up with her feeling hot under the collar and thoroughly frustrated. So she took the only action she could in such a situation. Putting on her best stony-faced look, she’d done her utmost to stay as far away from him as possible, practically gluing herself to the birthday girl’s side. Strategically, she had positioned herself as much out of his line of sight as she could, purposely avoiding his gaze. (And maybe, once or twice, when she had allowed herself to look again at him… maybe she saw an expression on his face that looked like disappointment.)

After that close call, they’d found themselves frequenting the coffee cart in the lobby together a few times. Waiting in line, she’d pretended not to see him, instead attempting to focus her attention on her phone. He hadn’t tried to speak to her those times. Clearly, her cool demeanor was working. See, the one thing Emma possessed in bucket loads, was self-restraint.

And I suppose the question that needs to be answers is why was she so adamantly avoiding this man? Simple. She just didn’t do relationships. After a couple that crashed and burned quite spectacularly, she’d came to the very adult conclusion that she was just not designed to be part of a pair.

Emma Swan did just fine on her own, thank you very much

Huffing softly, she opened a drawer and tossed the damn notebook away and out of her view.

 ***

8:31 pm

Time continued to drag painfully slowly.

Tink, the girl who usually worked the evening shift, was visiting family for the holidays and the rest of the team had split her tasks between them. Emma’s sole role tonight was to answer any customer service calls (thanks to Mills Security’s promise of ‘365 days service’) and log the details so the client could be contacted during normal office hours. She had zero idea why they just didn’t use a phone service.

She was staring at drunken photos on Facebook of friends celebrating at the parties that she could have been at when she heard a noise at the other end of the floor. She knew it was only her and a security guard working that night, so she immediately grabbed the pepper spray she kept in her purse and peered over the top of her partition. Then the sound of a bang behind her practically made her jump out of her skin and she spun around.

What the fuck.

It was Killian Jones, bending down to pick up what looked like a bottle of champagne that was rolling along the floor, his perfect arse exactly in her line of sight as it strained against his oh-so-tight dark jeans.

(She flushed as she imagined his ass sans those jeans.)

“Shit,” she cried as her heart raced and she tried futilely to look away, “You scared me!”

“Sorry,” he replied, sheepishly dropping his chin as he stood up. “Didn’t realize anyone was up here.”

With desperately feigned aloofness, she folded her arms. She could be cool. She was alone with the a guy she’d had some pretty R rated dreams about in a deserted office building. No biggie.

(Yeah, there had been dreams to… It had been a very, very long time and he was very, very attractive.)

“Well, I am. What are you doing here?”

He smiled. (Damn he had an amazing smile.) “Ah, I left earlier and realized I’d forgotten to file a report.”

She eyed the bottle in his hands. “And you thought you’d celebrate that fact?”  

“Oh, I need to keep this chilled. I was just up here to use your refrigerator - the one on 11 doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Right,” she nodded, relaxing just a little as the initial shock of his appearance faded. These were the most words she had ever shared with the guy. She vaguely wondered if he even remembered her name.

(Because she knew his: and that he had one brother and that he had moved from England five years earlier and that he owned a sailboat - yeah, her colleagues liked to talk and she was an apt pupil when it came to Killian Jones 101.)

“So you heading to a party?” she asked, feeling a strange mixture of jealousy and yearning as he nodded.

“That’s the plan,” he smiled, “My brother said I need to stop being a miserable sod and enjoy myself for the holidays.”

“Your brother sounds like my old roommate. She’s still offended I volunteered to work tonight rather than attend her potluck dinner.”

He smiled again, much broader, exposing his pearly white teeth and she was struck by the fact that when he did so, he looked even more handsome. Her heart did a little jump and she suddenly felt, well, a little shy.

“Well, I’d better-” she hitched her thumb towards her silent phone.

He nodded. “Happy New Year, Emma.”

“Happy New Year,” she echoed.

(She really did like the way he said her name.)

***

9:37 pm Failure two: Keeping promises to herself  

Twenty two minutes spent playing Candy Crush.

Thirty five on Facebook.

Eleven spent composing the perfect inspirational New Year post.

And not a single goddamn phone call.

The dollar signs that had convinced her to volunteer were slowly morphing into visions of the glasses of champagne she was missing by not attending Mary Margaret’s potluck. She pulled out the notebook and  flicked back to the list she had made earlier. Her life laid out in the stark grey lines of the pencil was particularly sobering. Sure, she was doing… fine. Better than many. Yet something was missing, she just wasn’t sure what.

Maybe Mary Margaret was right - maybe she did need to really make some changes this year. She’d never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but what could it really hurt to do something different? Because doing the same old things year after year wasn’t really getting her anywhere. Hadn’t she wanted to travel and see the world? To be brave and take some chances? (Secretly, she’d dreamed of opening her own bonds bureau for over a year.)  If nothing else she knew that she did not want to spend her next New Year’s Eve surrounded by grey partition walls and lingering regrets.

The sound of Killian Jones clearing his throat startled her and she jumped in time to see him standing now six feet away, the bottle of champagne he had earlier back in his hands and covered in beads of condensation.

“Shit,” she cried, placing her hand on her racing chest, “You need to stop doing that.”

“Apologies, love,” he said advancing a step closer to her desk.

“S’fine,” she replied, waving away his apology with her hand. She looked at the bottle of champagne with more than a little envy. “So you done?”

“Aye,” he nodded, his hair bouncing over his forehead.

“Then off to this party of yours..?”

He gave her an awkward smile and then tilted his head to one side. He opened his mouth to speak and then paused before dampening his lips and repeating the process. “Look, this may sound a bit mad, but what are you doing tonight?”

“Umm…” She gave him a curious look and then gestured towards her phone. “I’m the customer support til the automated system kicks in at one a.m. and everything is forwarded to India.”

“Oh, yeah,” he grinned rubbing his hand across his face. “Of course you are. Mills Security’s famous promise of US-based call centers.”

A peculiar light feeling bubbled in her chest as Killian Jones - object of her lust and fascination for months now - danced awkwardly from foot to foot-

“You see, the thing is, my brother-”

“The one who said you’re a miserable sod?”

“Aye, that’s the one.” He gave her a quick, searing glance and she felt a shiver ripple down her spine. “Well, he always says I’m too uptight. That I need to be more spontaneous.”

“Okay…” she said, wondering where he was going with this.

“So, Emma Swan, who has been avoiding me since I clapped eyes on her gorgeous self five months ago, how do you feel about joining me?”

Stunned, Emma felt like she’d been slapped in the face. But in a good way. “Huh?”

“The party. I believe it’s custom to bring a date?”

Her mouth gaped open.

What was her life right now? Was she not just minutes earlier contemplating doing something different and out of her comfort zone? It was like he was freaking psychic.

Immediately, her usual defenses flung right up, spewing out reasons why this was a very, very bad idea.

“But the calls-”

“You can forward them to your cell phone.”

“If they find out-”

“They won’t.”

“I won’t know anyone there…”

“You’ll know me… And, Emma Swan,” she blushed as he said her full name for the second time in the span of a minute, “I would really, really like to get to know you better.”

Oh shit.

Now this was unexpected and quite frankly, scary territory. She had sworn to stay away from him, but now that seemed like such a ridiculous thing to do as she stared into his beautiful blue eyes.

She looked down at her sweater and jeans combo.

“I’m not exactly dressed for a party.”

“You look great to me.”

She was running out of excuses. And actually wanting to make excuses.

A thought suddenly occurred.

“Just gimme a minute.”

***

Ruby Lucas, whilst a great girlfriend, was foremost known among her circle of friends for her active social life and exacting preparations. As such, she kept a selection of outfits in the breakout room lockers just in case of any last minute post-work drinks or dinner invitations that just could not be attended in her usual office attire.

Most of them were short, but since Ruby was a couple of inches taller than Emma, she was able to find a black wiggle dress which fit just about right, landing an inch above her knee, with cap sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It was sexy, but not too sexy. (Since she didn’t know what this was - was it a date? She wasn’t an expert in last minute New Year’s plans when she was really supposed to be working.)

She dug out a pair of black pumps with a medium sized heel that were only a little too big and checked her reflection. She was pretty sure Ruby would not mind when she found out. She was actually pretty sure Ruby would quite the opposite of mind. Next, she grabbed the emergency makeup bag that also lived in the locker and added some layers of blush and mascara before finishing the look with a red Dior lipstick that even she had to admit was very flattering. A spritz of perfume before she ran a brush through her (thankfully, freshly washed) hair and she was ready. And her heart was racing.

Nervously, she stepped back into the office. A cool shiver trickled over her skin. What was she doing? She was about to turn back, when-

“Well now, I have to admit, that’s much better.”

She hadn’t thought it was possible to blush any deeper because of this man and she had been wrong. He gave her a slow, appreciative look, one that was hot and spine tingling yet not disrespectful. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Oh, this old thing,” she teased.

He held out his hand, “Shall we? I have a car waiting.”

“A car?” she asked.

He shrugged, “I’m CFO, have to take advantage of the perks at some point.”

“What the hell,” she shrugged in reply, placing her hand in his and letting him lead her to the elevator.

***

10:52 pm Failure three: A total misunderstanding of what she had gotten herself into

‘Party’ was perhaps a bit of an understatement.  The event was being held at one of those trendy little bars in Union Square with oversized art on the walls that contrasted with simple, neutral furniture and neon accessories. It was being hosted by a client of Mills Security, as it turned out, Killian had explained on the journey there that he’d been given the company invite.

It had been so hard concentrating on what he had been saying in the back of the sleek black sedan that had been waiting for them. Even though the back seat was pretty roomy by her VW bug size standards, they still seemed to be achingly close together as the car pulled away.

Then it hit her just how crazy this was! Five months of avoiding this man, only for her resolve to crumble in seconds. But she couldn’t find herself regretting her snap decision. He smelled damn good next to her. She peeked over at him, noticing how he’d left the top few buttons of his navy shirt open, showing a hint of chest hair. Her eyes lingered there. Biting her lip softly, she wondered just what that would feel like under her palms.

Down girl, she warned herself, puffing a breath of air over her face and trying to shift her focus onto anything other than him.

Upon arrival, Kilian had gifted the bottle of champagne upon the host (One August W. Booth, local furniture magnate and pretty skeezy in Emma’s opinion) before scooping up their own champagne flutes and observing the scene of the party in full swing.

“So,” she sighed, feeling a little awkward as she ran her free hand over the satin of her skirt and tried to think of something smart or witty to say.

“Maybe we should… mingle?” he suggested. She sighed in relief; she wasn’t quite ready to engage in solo conversation.

“I’d like that,” she smiled, taking his offered arm as they wandered into the crowd.

Up to this point, her attraction to him had been almost purely physical. But as they spent the next hour moving around the different guests and drinking just enough champagne to take the edge off her nerves, she started to see that he was really a great guy. Being one of those business-like occasions where most people don’t know each other that well, he was fantastic at putting others at ease and introducing himself (and slipping some of them a business card or two). He had the perfect combination of wit and charm that seemed to win over every woman - and man - in the room. And if she was a little proud of the envious looks some of them gave her, that was merely a bonus.

Finally, her feet began to ache and the two sought out a small table in the corner of the room.

“Wow, you really know how to work a room!”

He beamed before ducking his head a little at the compliment. “I’m generally better with people I don’t know.”

“Oh?” “I’m not the easiest man to get to know.”

Emma shrugged and took another sip from a fresh glass of champagne. “Well, it’s not like I’ve exactly tried to…”

“I noticed.”

“You did?”

“I tried to overlook the hiding from me at Ruby’s birthday bash, but by the third time you ignored me at the coffee cart, I was beginning to take the hint.” He pouted a little, his full pink lips looking so inviting that she could help but stare for a few seconds.  “Truth is, I’ve wanted to ask you out for ages.”

“You have?”

“Emma, I’ve been quite taken by you for months now.”

How was this happening? Her breathing began to quicken.

“But you were giving me very clear signals that you weren’t interested.”

“I don’t…” she began, ready to spout out her usual ‘don’t do relationships’ spiel, when she realized just how lame it sounded. “Yeah, I guess I did. But what about this-” she gestured to the party in full swing around them.

He smiled a little coyly before his gaze dropped to studying the glass in his hands. “Before I came into the office, I’d been on a call with my brother - he lives in England and you know, time differences made it past New Year there. He was quite merry and told me that it was about bloody time that I got over myself and started living a little.”

“He sounds more and more like my friend.”

Gently, he placed the glass on the small table in front of them. Looking up, his eyes flitted over her face. “Maybe we have something in common, then; people in our lives who care more than we think we deserve. I’ve spent years living in the past, Emma, using shit I couldn’t control as an excuse to not try to change. But then I spoke to Liam and then you were there and - do you believe in fate?” she shrugged, “Well I’m not sure I do either, but I figured if ever some higher power was telling me I needed to make a change, it was tonight when I saw you in the office.” Her breath caught in her throat as she absorbed his words. “And the change?”

“It was taking a chance and putting myself out there,” He edged a little closer on the loveseat upon which they sat, until their knees jostled together, “Honestly, I was fully prepared for rejection and having to begin to avoid you.”

Lashes fluttering like some paperback heroine, Emma let herself reply with a bright smile. “I’m glad you did.”

“So am I,” he whispered.

They tipped their glasses together, exchanging daring glances as they drank. The bubbles danced over her tongue the way only a really expensive champagne can. Slowly, the music around them changed from lively into something with a more mellow beat.

“Care to dance?” he asked.

“You can dance?”

“I have many talents.”

A peal of light laughter fell from her lips as she took his hand and let him lead her to where a few other couples were swaying together. He placed her arms around his neck and his own hands about her hips. The heat, the champagne and this intoxication of him made the room swirl pleasantly, tempting her to place her head on his chest, while a part of her deep inside hummed ‘this feels right’.

***

11:59 pm Failure four: Making sensible and rational decisions

The music became quieter as the minutes ticked towards midnight. The pair paused in their dance and Emma let her fingers brush against the tendrils of hair that spilled over his collar. He looked at her, his focus dancing between her eyes and lips until she thought she might burst with the tension.

“Hey, remember what you said about being spontaneous?”

“Yes,” he whispered, just as the countdown began.

This time it was her turn to focus on his lips. She knew that kissing him could be a beginning of something. It had been so long since she had felt that way about a man and that scared her. But not enough to stop.

Her fingers slipped from his hair to slide under the lapel of his thin wool jacket, hands drawing down over his shoulders and balling in the material, as she reached up on her toes. A second passed by, where their eyes met and both smiled, then there was a little jump in her stomach as she leant into him and pressed her mouth to his. Instantly, she was consumed by emotion: happiness, desire, fear- Until the simple physical motion of lips upon lips engulfed her completely, drowning out the countdown echoing around them. Her whole body tingled as he wrapped his arms around her pulled her body flush.

They fell apart to rousing shouts of ‘Happy New Year’, her fingers still tangled in his jacket, breathless and exhilarated.

“Wow,” she sighed, her senses slowly returning.

“Yeah,” he agreed. His cheeks were a captivating pink. Without thinking, she reached up her hand to brush against them.

“So, do you have any resolutions?” she whispered.

“Well, I definitely want to do that again.”

“Oh do you?” she teased.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice serious; the air around them suddenly thick-

And then it was as if the rest of the room faded away. He took hold of her hand, edging it back around his neck before crushing his mouth against hers once more.

Emma Swan was pretty sure she was drowning. Her whole body throbbed with need as she chased each motion of his lips. As first (or technically second-) kisses go, it was up there with the best; the explosive chemistry between them so palpable that the idea of not taking this further made her gut ache.

Resting her hands on his shoulders, she paused the kiss, whispering, “Follow me,” not waiting for a response before she took hold of his hand from her waist and pulled him with her towards the service area behind the bar which currently stood deserted.

“Kiss me,” she demanded, letting him push her against the wall, his hips anchoring her own in place so that she could feel his erection pressing heavily against her and making her wish that she was wearing a more forgiving skirt that would have allowed her to wrap her legs around him and seek out the friction she so wanted.

His needy lips did as she desired, desperately claiming her again: a little recklessly, certainly without restraint, almost bruising in their determination. One hand gripped her waist while the other snuck under the hem of her skirt, teasing her thigh while his lips found her neck. She let her hands thread through his hair, not caring if she mussed it up, just wanting this feeling to not end; wanting to be as close as she could to him and whatever magic spell he had placed over her.

Finally, he tipped back his head and took a few deep breaths.

“Emma, this wasn’t what I intended-” “You want to stop?” she asked, feeling slightly mortified at the idea she had entirely misread the situation.

“God, no-” he cupped her face with his hands, “I just don’t want you to think that this was my aim when I asked you to come here.”

She saw honesty in his eyes - she’d always been great at telling when someone was lying. Mary Margaret  called it her superpower. He was telling the truth.

“I don’t think that,” she smiled, “If I’m honest I don’t even know what’s happening right now,” she swallowed hard and then added, “But I do know I don’t want it to stop.”

A flash of understanding crossed his face and he tipped his face closer, “Well, maybe we need to take this elsewhere…” he let the words linger a moment between them.

“Is that car still available?”

He nodded and she became captivated for a moment by his unfairly thick lashes that curved back and further enhanced the mesmerising blue hue of his eyes.

“Then let’s go.”

***

The car ride was almost unbearable. There were too many thoughts in her mind to cope with being so close to him and not having him there and then. What was going on? What was she doing? What was he thinking?

And she was taking him back to her place.

Emma Swan did not bring men back to her own apartment - it was too intimate, it suggested she wanted more. But the invitation had fallen from her lips without hesitation and she’d given her address to the driver before she could overthink it.

Their hands rested next to each other, spanning the small gap between them. Emma counted the beats of her heart as the street lights zipped by. Then his fingers inched closer, slowly overlapping hers until he had taken hold of her hand. She looked at him, half hidden in the shadow of the dark interior, flashes of light flickering over his face.

God, she wanted to kiss him again. Waiting was such sweet torture - but she knew should she touch him like that now they would be consummating their new found chemistry on that very seat. So instead, she focused on the feel of his hands on her and let her eyes roam over his figure as he did the same. She could feel him study her decolletage and the exposed curve of her breasts thanks to Ruby’s predilection for low cut necklines.

Pulling up to the curb, she’d never been so thankful to get out of a moving vehicle, the pair tossing the driver a breezy ‘Happy New Year’ after Killian signed the chit.

Inside her apartment, she found herself once again pressed against the nearest wall, but this time with a lot less self restraint from both parties. His hungry lips tasted every exposed inch of skin as she clawed her fingers through his hair before yanking his shirt from his pants and sliding her palms up his back. He urged her hips apart and she felt the slit at the back of the skirt rip as she hiked her legs around him.

“Bed,” she demanded, tipping her head in the direction of her bedroom as they kissed their way across the living room.

After kicking open the door, Killian placed her back on the ground long enough for him to toss away his jacket and for them both to kick off their shoes. Then they were back, fused together, falling onto the bed as they pulled and tugged at each other’s clothes in a desperate search for the feel of bare skin.

The dress already ruined, she begged him, “Just tear it.”

With a guttural groan, he complied, foregoing the zip and yanking at the material until it gave way to the satisfying sound of threads splitting, leaving her in her simple underwear, as she concentrated on removing his shirt and fanning out her hands over his chest. His perfect chest, peppered with swathes of hair and just toned enough to say ‘hot’ rather than ‘gym obsessive’.

“You’re stunning,” he panted.

She palmed his hardness through his pants, earning another growl as her thighs clenched in anticipation of his generous size. “You’re not too shabby yourself.”

He yanked down the cups of her bra as she started to work on divesting him of his remaining clothes, suckling on a nipple as his hand worked the other into a firm peak, the sensation going right to her core where her body was practically begging her to take him inside.

“Shit,” she moaned as he took a second to help her with her task, before he was left gloriously nude and exposed before her - looking better than she could have imagined - so masculine and wanton with his erection jutting out proudly, demanding to be given attention. Bending forward, she reached out her tongue and ran it over his silky length, it jerked at the sensation, but before she could touch him he took hold of her wrist-

“You first,” he insisted and before she could protest he tugged down her panties, his lips once agains exploring her breasts as his fingers parted her folds and gathered the dampness that had already formed there. “Fuck Emma you’re so wet already. Such a delicious cunt.”

The unexpected language was surprisingly a huge turn on and she pulled his lips to her mouth-

“Waiting for you to fill me up, Jones.”

His fingers danced over her clit as he paused, inches from her mouth-

“So I’m Jones now, am I? Well I guess that makes you Swan.” Without ceremony, he pushed one thick finger into her quickly followed by another, her back arched from the bed until his lips muffled her moans. Inside her,  his digits found places that had her letting out breathy little moans.

“You like that, Swan?” he asked, his eyes scanning her expression as her knees flexed and she pushed her heels into the mattress, trying to ground herself from the sensation of flying into the air.

“Yes,” she cried, her hands seeking something to also anchor themselves to him, finding his ass to be just as firm and round as it had appeared in his pants. She was now so slick that his hand was gliding silkily between her legs, harder and faster- until he fell back on his haunches, giving her a searing look, before his mouth joined his hands on the assault of her sex. His tongue flicked out to swirl around her clit and over her folds until she could no longer discern his movements in the high of sensation he was creating. Her body was folding in upon itself, the muscles of her gut and core tightening and twisting as they bended to his will, his free hand massaging her breasts and then she was spiraling out of existence into the heavenly bliss of release as the tension snapped and rippled from her in waves.

“You’re glorious,” he panted, suffocating her in an all-consuming kiss that tasted of her, pulling her back to reality and fueling her desire once again.

Reaching for his cock, she ran her hand over him, imagining how he would feel inside her while he rutted into her palm. She pressed her hand against his shoulder, trying to lay him on his back so she could return the favor.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, once again worried she was misreading the whole situation.

“Nothing, love,” he replied, still pistoning his hips as he laid a kiss to her forehead, “It’s just, if I can’t be inside you right now, I think I’m going to explode.”

Oh, she wasn’t going to argue with him-

“Top drawer of the nightstand,” she whispered, sitting up to watch him as he found a condom, palming her breasts as her whole body ached in expectation. It had been so long since she had gotten to this place with a guy, and even longer with someone who she could potentially care about-

It was right then, as he turned back to her, his face deliciously wrecked, that she recognized that was just it- there was something about him, something as still intangible in addition to his more obvious assets, an attraction brewing that was more than just superficial.

She liked Killian Jones. Really. Truly.

Stunned, she let craving for him roll over her again as he crawled back across the bed to her, caging her body in with his, a look of pure want on his face.

“Swan,” he whispered, with a crooked smile.

“Jones,” she replied, widening her legs to accommodate him, wrapping her legs around his waist until she could feel the weight of him pressing against her entrance.

He sank into her heat, every solid inch more perfect than the last, pausing once he had bottomed out until she pressed her heels into his ass, urging him into a sensual rhythm.

His soft grunts and moans had her hot and bothered, writhing against him, seeking out further friction as he alternated between hard, quick thrusts and softer, rocking motions. Normally, Emma would be vocal with what she wanted in bed, but he just seemed to know instinctively how to make her body hum. She gave as good as she got, encouraging him with muttered ‘yeses’ and ‘harders’, getting lost in the moment - not trying to draw it out. Because she knew this could never be a one time thing. Instead, she chased her peak, wanting him to join her, grinding against him, foregoing technique for desperate motions that had one single purpose-

It worked. In a frenzy of movement, she found herself falling once more, this time her body was gripping his, dragging him with her into dizzying, euphoric release.

To the heavy beat of heaving hearts, he collapsed beside her.

Minutes later, his fingers tangled in her hair as she lay against his chest, truth be told she was a little too warm, but had no desire to move as she soaked in the post-coital bliss. His other arm wrapped around her shoulders and he ran his hand over the naked skin within his reach.

“Can I ask you a question?” she whispered.

“Of course,” he said, punctuating his reply with a kiss to her forehead. “Anything.”

“Why me? I mean, you could have your pick of anyone, Jones.”

“You’re beautiful,” he answered, without skipping a beat.

“Please…” she clucked, rolling her eyes.

“And, well, it was really a choice between you and the security guard tonight,” he joked.

“Not funny,” she deadpanned, though tossing him a grin that showed she knew he was joking.

“Okay,” he nodded, “Well, when we first met I could see the guarded look in your eyes. I recognized it. Not many wear it so openly, but you, sweetheart, are an open book.”

Her instinct was to rebuff that statement, but she knew it was true. “I’ve been… hurt.” she admitted, “More than once.”

“Me too,” he nodded

“So pain is attractive to you?”

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?” He shook his head, “Not exactly, love. I guess I saw a kindred spirit in you? And though you may have tried to avoid me, you piqued my interest that day. I sought you out, tried to learn a little about you. Ms. Lucas is surprisingly chatty when she brings up the daily figures.”

“I may have asked a bit about you too.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really, just don’t let that go to your head!”

He gave her a wicked grin in response. She sighed. That cheeky smile of his was probably going to be her downfall.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why did you have to be one of the good ones?”

“The good ones?” he asked, his brow creasing in confusion.

“You know… I’m pretty good at telling when someone is being dishonest.”

“Oh, for all you know, I’m just some dashing rapscallion, love.”

“You wish buddy.”

The pair fell silent for a moment.

“Can I kiss you again?” he asked, strangely nervously considering their current situation.

In reply, she rolled onto her front, running one hand through his hair, her eyes focusing on his mouth, until she kissed him once more.

“Mmmm,” he moaned, “I could get used to that.”

She dropped her forehead to his, her fingers drawing circles against his scalp as the reality of what this all could mean began to dawn on her.

“Killian, we work together…”

“We work for the same company, love, entirely different departments.”

“But still…” she trailed off, searching again for an out clause-

“Love, if you feel this was a mistake-”

“No,” she cried, placing a hand on his chest. “I’m just- Can we take this slow?”

The smile he gave her was a one she hadn’t seen - wide and bright, full of hope - “As you wish, my lovely Swan.”

She kissed him again, rousing them both to round number two.

***

31st December 2017

Emma Swan, 2017

32 years old

Cohabitating with a gorgeous man who loves her (and she loves him)

Still have kickass view of Boston Harbor but this time sharing her bed (and life) with aforementioned gorgeous (and amazing) guy.

Still owner of VW Bug older than she is, but better able to afford mechanic costs since…

Now owner of her very own bail bonds business.

Very, very, sickening happy, thank you very much!,