#this and getting back into Ranking of kings just means I’m emotional

[narutos-sloppy-pussy]

Finished Dungeon Meshi today

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

thinking of a new steddie fic/au hmmm.

It’s just the classic, Steve buys weed from Eddie in season 1 era, he and Tommy meet him at the bench in the woods behind school. Steve and Eddie have some playful banter and clearly get along, but it’s dismissed as just a drug deal and they go on about their lives.

Next time they meet is when a frantic Steve comes and finds Eddie after he’s just fought off the demogorgon for the first time. He’s rattled, and skittish, wearing a nasty black bruise on his eye, and just overall not acting like himself. He snaps at Eddie multiple times to just ‘hurry up’ and ‘get him his stuff’, and sure he’s being an asshole, but more than anything Eddie is just concerned. He has never seen The King Steve Harrington lose his cool like this. So Eddie cautiously gives him the weed, making sure not to give too much, and lets him go about his day, but not before asking if he’s alright. Steve clearly wasn’t expecting this and brushes it off defensively, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it for the rest of his week. How the hell did Eddie Munson notice something was wrong, when his own parents didn’t? Nor his “friends”?

They cross paths again a year later, the beginning of season two. Steve is still with Nancy and has freshly dumped his old douchebag crew of superficial friends. He is still sitting quite comfortably on the higher ranks of popularity, but there is no denying his status is not what it used to be. He comes to buy weed from Eddie in the first week back at school, and it’s a casual interaction. He’s still as charmingly stuck up as he ever was, but now without Tommy there to judge his every move, he seems a little more at ease when making casual conversation with Eddie. Eddie doesn’t mention the year before and Steve is so glad for it, secretly very embarrassed that he went to Eddie for some refuge after arguably his most traumatic experience to date. He gets his stuff, giving Eddie a smirk when he notices he’s dropped the price significantly for Steve when it’s just him alone. Eddie gives him a challenging smile back, almost daring him to call it out, but he doesn’t. They both just laugh and part ways.

The next run in is tina’s halloween party. They notice eachother when Steve first arrives, making eye contact and giving a polite nod. Maybe Eddie lifts his drink up to Steve in a silly salute. They don’t speak at all or make any effort to hang around eachother. That is, until Steve storms down the stairs in a rage after he’d gone up there with Nancy Wheeler. But then are those- tears? Eddie was standing on the front porch smoking a cigarette, trying to discreetly hide from one Billy Hargrove to avoid having to sell him anything, but staying visible enough that he won’t lose all chances of making any money tonight. Steve storms right past him and hits his shoulder. Eddie whips around and is about to call him a dick before he sees who it is.

Steve tries to quickly wipe his face, he won’t make eye contact with Eddie, and he’s clearly trying to get out as fast as he can. Eddie doesn’t let him, though, since he’s obviously not thinking very clearly and is most likely about to do something emotional and stupid. He asks if Steve’s alright, and his answers are all short and rushed, so he’s definitely not. They’re not really friends, but Eddie’s not an asshole.

— “Did you drive?” Eddie asks

“Yeah”

“Well, you’re drunk, Steve. You can’t get behind a wheel right now. And if I knowingly let you, then that makes me an accomplice. I’ll take you home.”

Steve tries to protest, attempting to push past him, but Eddie interjects. “Yeah, yeah, alright! Don’t thank me yet, Steve’o. This is not for you, see, I’m not trying to get a criminal record, here. I cant go to prison, Steve. Do you know what they’d do to a pretty guy like me in prison? Nope, let’s go hot stuff.” —

Eddie takes Steve home. They don’t talk much. By the time they reach Steve’s drive way and Eddie has put his van in park, Steve is making no attempt to exit the vehicle just yet. Eddie doesn’t know what to do, he didn’t really plan this far, so he’s just tapping away awkwardly at his steering wheel while Harrington stares down the dashboard so clearly lost in thought Eddie fears his head might explode. Steve tells Eddie what happened, says it’s ‘relationship troubles’, and he’s not quite sure what compelled him into being so honest with Eddie Munson, but he’s blaming the alcohol. Eddie wasn’t expecting that. They chat for a bit, Eddie makes Steve laugh and considers the whole night a success after that. Then they start cracking jokes about their shared hatred for Hargrove, and Steve looks and sounds a bit more ok to go inside. He thanks Eddie, quite sincerely actually, and it throws him a bit. He stutters a ‘yeah, for sure. It’s no problem.’ And Steve goes home.

After that, it’s a little different. Steve, doesn’t actually really have anyone, anymore. When they go back to school he’s now greeting Eddie here and there in the hallways, making conversation when they find themselves alone together, in the lunch line or at the bathroom sink. He doesn’t approach Eddie when there’s too many people around, though. As much as he’s grown, Steve Harrington still carry’s some prejudice in him about how certain things may make him look. But it doesn’t bother Eddie too much. It’s not like they are really friends, they’re just like, strange acquaintances. And Steve would never deny that they get along, that really Eddie’s ‘not so bad’. So that’s a win.

Steve finds Eddie again not long after the party to buy some more weed, a plan that sparked purely out of boredom. Eddie says yes, of course, but tells him if he wants it today he will need to wait till after school and meet Eddie at his place, since he was busy. So Steve takes a trip to the Munson trailer to make his deal. Eddie invites him inside and they sit together on the couch as he gets Steve’s bag ready. They end up making quite pleasant conversation, joking around and ultimately finding they are really enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy it so much so, that Steve ends up smoking there, with Eddie. So now they are kind of like, hanging out? And it’s fun, so they do it again. Still they’re not, friends friends, they just get along. Eddie just sells Steve weed sometimes and they keep it civil.

He doesn’t hear from Steve for a while, and the next time he sees him it’s from a distance, in passing. The man has the most roughed up face Eddie has ever seen, bruised and swollen in multiple areas, stitches and bandages all over. It’s really, concerning? completely metal, but alarming. This is the second time Eddie has seen the guy all beaten up like that. He knew that boys fight, but surely not that bad? As worried as he was, Eddie doesn’t approach him to ask questions, because they don’t know eachother like that. So he goes on about his day, and he doesn’t see Steve again after that for quite some time.

Then it’s summer, Eddie isn’t graduating again, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself over the break. The new mall has just opened up, and there’s a cool music store up on the second floor that he likes to visit sometimes with his band friends. And wouldn’t you know, working at the Scoops Ahoy located directly across from his favourite store, is Steve Harrington. The guy hasn’t come to Eddie for any weed since last year, and then there was that sighting where he looked like he’d just fallen face first into a flying fist or two, so it’s been a minute since Eddie’s seen him. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice surprise. He only goes into scoops once. He’s curious, okay? Sue him. And, he knows the girl who works with him, Robin. So he plays it off like he had no idea he’d see Steve there. And to his surprise, Steve actually acknowledges him. He doesn’t act like Eddie is a total stranger just because they’re not in school anymore. The interaction is quick, they make very casual conversation, Eddie says hi to Robin, grabs his milkshake and goes home. That’s all. He doesn’t go back, and he doesn’t really plan to. Steve’s nice, and he knows Eddie’s around if he needs to buy from him again, and that’s really as far as their relationship goes. That’s all it ever was. It’s been fun getting to know Steve Harrington a little bit better, even if it was just for a short time. Eddie liked having the chance to see in past the quaffed hair and pressed polo shirts to learn that Steve was really just a person under it all. He never thought he’d say it, but Harrington wasn’t so bad. It was a nice little eye opening experience for Eddie.

Eddie was ready to write off his little blips of interaction with Steve Harrington as a thing of the past, no hard feelings, and move on with his life. That is, until he gets a knock at his front door in the middle of the night afew days after the big mall fire. And it’s Steve on the other side. And he looks awful, his face is the worst Eddie’s ever seen it. And he wasn’t really knocking, more like pounding. He says he needs Eddie’s help.

What the fuck?

[fluffypotatey]

*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

[just-lythecreator]

SPOILERS FOR HAZPIN HOTIEL AND TAROT RAMBLE AHEAD

So I found this tweet on Twitter and I use to do predict reading (like tarot) but use poker when I was younger and just got back seriously study tarot

And I see something fishy that I was like…why it’s 3 spade?….

Let start with what card I’m seeing from poker card to tarot

9 of pentacles, 3 of sword, Knight of pentacles, King of swords

Just want to say first that I’m not a professional, I just like to study it.

In my study on Minor Arcana (base on everyday events)

♥️ - cups (emotion/relationships)

♠️ - sword (thoughts/ communication)

♦️- pentacles (money/material world)

♣️- wands (passion/action)

Lets start on nine of pentacles

Pentacles are the material, money, job, status.

Which suited for Husk’s old role as Overlord

The the man with power over material good like money in his gamble and his role as overlord

His status is high and fulfilling

Next is three of sword

Yep a heartbreak, sorrow and grief of his statue as an overlord, when he lose his soul after his deal with Al

It also lose to Al’s element too, bc Husks was too prideful & Al ready win by being in his head, aka thoughts for the sword/spade

Now we get to the Jack and King

Which I will connect to the court cards, which are the reflection of personality and roles in the relationship.

I honestly debating on this one for a bit

Due to from what I see other people use Knight for Jack but I personally see Jack as a Page. But poker card only have Jack, Queen, king. I have to lump page/knight together

The reason why it hard to pick bc both page/Knight work for King & Queen but taking orders in different way.

Page is more so a new beginning of the level, new in his element which reflect Husk as a lower level sinners thanks to his role under Al. It line up with how I see Jack

But I also will take back the page argument bc Knight is more suited to Husk as Al’s Jack.

Knight of Pentacle are more grounded but still more skill than page, calculating with his power over finance and giving service to the king (Al) & Queen (Charlie as Princess).

Knight show that he have experience but still under other people. Some people might try to find more the card meaning of these but I found that reading base on card as their role try to give advice is more proactive way to read cards.

Which overall, it very suited Husk as Knight

Now to the obvious

King of Sword

The man who have power over Husk in rank & also use minor part of the card to win, spade/sword aka thoughts

Which show his ability to get into other’s hand as the king & him got through Husk with the deal.

He is king of sword through and through.

also the king of sword is shown to be in the open field but still have a stable throne & sword in hand ready. Show his status as an overlord.

Btw card meaning that not just involved in roles, King of Sword can be mean authority & reverse as misuse of power & manipulation

Fitting

that’s it

I doubt no one gonna look into my tarot/poker sharing bs, I don’t think the crew intentionally connect it poker tarot & just goes with regular poker symbolism

But the 3 of sword/spade is too fucking close that I have to mention

Hope y’all have a nice day if y’all read

[bnesszai]

Chuuya Nakahara is very much a leader. This appears as an obvious statement, since he serves as a top executive of the port mafia. One of the closest to the boss’s inner circle. He knows there are subordinates under him, knows that he is in charge of keeping those idiots alive on missions. It has become second nature of him.

But the first time in the mafia that he learns of the respect to his name, the last thing he can do is breathe. It was only a short break from the paperwork on his desk, it was meant to clear his mind. Chuuya strode through the spacious hallways, listening to the murmurs of ranks on both sides of him.

“Did you hear that new boy, Nakahara?”

“That new executive?”

“He’s just a kid. Him and that other one. I’ve been in the same rank for years! How can he-“

“Shut your mouth. He’s our leader, you know?”

Chuuya, miraculously, was too far for them to see him freeze behind the turn of a corner. To see his eyes go wide and his breathing stop. “The last time ”Our leader”…no. King- no- Leader- no sheep- no- king of sheep- no- no he wasn’t a leader. No he was he wasn’t- did he want to be?

“He’s so young!”

“Maybe you would rise the ranks if you stopped complaining about everything.”

Chuuya closed his eyes and made his way up the stairs, knowing full well how to keep a calm facade. Strong does not mean emotional. Does not mean vulnerable. Does not mean weak-

“Is my dog moping again?” Dazai greeted him with a devious grin, leaning against the door of his office. God knows what he snooped through in there. Chuuya pushed past him anyway and sat down with a blank stare.

“Didn’t you have a meeting with Mori-san?”

”Meetings done. Bunch of boring stuff like exports and imports, some idiots trying to take control of the port. Nothing interesting.”

“Nothing interests you except death.” Dazai whistled and sat directly on Chuuya’s paperwork. “Hey!”

“You know me so well! Cheer up, Chuuya.~ All of that stress will stunt your growth even more!” And as much as he wanted to swat Dazai off the desk the words rang clear in his head. Leader. Our- A leader doesn’t shove their colleagues. He’s a kid he’s a king he’s a dog- he’s a-

“Go away asshole.”

“Not a chance.” Dazai knew. Dazai knew very well what Chuuya could have been and what he never will be. Sometimes it was a blessing, most of the time it was a curse.

“Why do you make it your life mission to bother me?”

“I’m just wondering why my dog is so feisty.” Dazai slipped a hand under Chuuya’s choker. Warmth against a metallic cold, human against-

“Get your hands off of me. When’s the last time you washed them?” Dazai made a sheepish face and Chuuya instantly shoved the boy off his desk.

“Rude!! I’m Mori’s right hand you know! I could have you thrown out of the mafia!” Out of the mafia and back to the- Dazai wouldn’t do that. They couldn’t-

“As if. You’d throw your dog away that easy? Mori-san would give you hell for it.”

“As if he doesn’t already- wait did you just admit to being my dog?” Dazai’s grin widened exponentially. “Our leader”. There was blood on his hands and metal in his bones and bile on his tongue and a weight on his shoulders. But right now, he was a kid.

“No that’s not what I-“

“Chuuya’s my dog!” Dazai sprinted with a sing-song voice, laughing as the shorter chased him down the halls. A distraction, sure. He’d have to face it eventually. In tears or sweat or cold water. But not right now.

“Come back here you-“ Yeah, a distraction would be quite nice.

They're terrible actually

[bottomless-brainrot]

SALTBURN AS PORTALS ( melanie martinez ) SONGS

a/n | just a fun little rant and analysis of how specific songs on the album represent a character, their actions or emotions that I believe fit how I saw them within the movie. also i've never done a character analysis before so i will try to make my ideas clear for those of you who would like to read them.

a/n | also sorry if i repeat my points lol.

saltburn spoilers below

CHARACTERS

Oliver Quick - Tunnel Vison

yeah, you can look, but you can’t touch / i’m not just anybody

not the first thing i want to get into but i will be going through the songs line by line so here goes…

to start is the obvious ‘hands off’ rule that we find out is bestowed upon all of Felix’s ‘toys’ that he has brought out to Saltburn. Vague mentions of previous friends from Venetia, the hovering eyes of Farleigh for Oliver’s next slip-up and the instant anger Felix gets at Oliver for not understanding that he wasn’t for the other and just supposed to entertain him.

it was clear that the family seemed to be fascinated with him the same way people would at a zoo or an art museum, staring at the priceless treasures from a distance and never to get as close to them as a handler would

eyes on the prize,…that’s your demise, yeah, you hold me like you’re rushing to my thighs

Oliver’s weird sexual tension with Felix throughout the movie due to that white savior complex

his way in right from the start was Felix’s need to fix him; that power in knowing that he could make him happier than whatever Oliver had now.

honeysuckle and fresh meat / but i’m more than that

the Cattons never saw Oliver to be on their level. Oliver was always told who he was and how to act from the family so much so that they believed his innocent act up until their final moments. he easily weaved himself into a core front of the family in a matter of days really showing that he wasn’t to be underestimated…

playing house to distract me / but you’re no good at acting

thinking back to the scene where Felix is talking to Oliver and Oli mentions that his family has problems and Felix instant shift of posture and interest is such a dead give away

i mean it took Oliver one bat of an eye lash and a smile to find out each individual family member’s deepest darkest secrets and twist them into a control point for his own game.

seeing that at it’s core, the Cattons weren’t anything but forced smiles and money bags of a picture perfect family. such an old money move.

i make them tumble down the hill they climbed / i don’t regret it

using the family to slowly climb up the ranks and then getting rid of them one by one just so he could have it all to himself.

king of the hill moment

show me how far obsession goes / could have been more now we’ll never know

in the end, i am a firm believer that if Felix listened and forgave him then Oliver wouldn’t have given him the poisoned glass.

if he had mentioned that they were still friends but he needed some time to think, Oli would have definitely poured out the glass and un-pretend to be wasted out if his mind to have a better conversation and 'fix' things.

but anyway, Oliver spilling his guts to Felix and still not having that wholehearted love reciprocated really did a number on him which led to the killing no doubt. what they could have had together in the end was only left for one.

i saw a post on here earlier might link if i find it but it was something like “oliver having sex above his grave because he couldn’t ever do anything with Felix unless there was a distance between them” and i couldn’t agree more!

Felix Catton - Spider Web

flexing like pricks with their stolen power / they're just who the spider will eat

not that Felix was flaunting his wealth or his social status, but that was what made him a target to Oliver as well as his desperate need to 'help' him get away from what he thought was his hectic lifestyle

he was gullible enough to believe everything he was told over his own family countless times, and even after finding out the lies he still chose to hide the truth because he didn't want to be seen in a different light to his family.

thinking about that line "you’re kind about everyone, you can't be trusted." so heavily right now.

didn't ask for this dangerous visibility / i'm feeling too scared to sleep

the moment when Oliver spills his guts and tells Felix he did it all just for him. made himself into this character just so that he could get close to him and secure his spot within his life as a friend.

it left Felix visibly staggered as he thinks about everyone else who could have done the same; everyone else he's left high and dry for his attention and the possible lengths they went through to try and get it back in his past.

better off dead than stuck in a maze / the center may seem like a gift

Felix having sex in the maze believing no one would find him there because its a place he knows like the back of his own hand. however, Oliver's interruption makes it known that he is more exposed than he thought.

also to me his death being at the center of the maze and him being the dead center of the family as they all mourn him with such vigor and slowly lose their minds really gets to me.

up all night, bound to their addiction to it / lifeless eyes, they die in the pit of the spider web

Felix's premature death being the root to how Oliver get his 'in'. he was the hub of the web and after his death is when everything truly spiraled into chaos and one by one his family followed him to the grave.

Elspeth Catton - Leeches

leeches surrounded, conscience is throbbing

Elspeth my love you dissevered only happiness.

i think we could all agree that the wealth came from her as well as the family’s popularity due to her younger years in life with her career

Elspeth, as we come to find out, has met many influential individuals throughout her life as well as the free loaders.

we hear about the numerous people that have come to Elspeth for favors and help in their troubled time, that really only used her kindness to get into a life of luxury. ( not including pamela )

although it is draining for her, she never openly complains about how helping is a bother for her building up the exhaustion until someone else brings it up.

let all their friends in, the enemy's present

Felix gets his kindness from his mother’s side obviously, thats clear in how she is so inviting with Pamela and Oliver regardless of their circumstances.

i cannot stress enough how i feel like she would have ket Pamela at Saltburn if nothing was whispered to her about how ‘awful’ Pamela was.

she was drawn into the direction of who was the problem in the eyes of others but never her own. thinking about the dinner table scene after finding Felix’s dead body n how Farleigh called out to her to save him instead of pleading his case. he knows she would have saved him like she has before.

how much blood can you draw / with your claws from a flesh that's not yours? / my hands aren't yours, and / gnaw on my bones, no marrow left

honestly hate how Oliver played the long game with her

he found out her routine after Sir James’ death, stalked her, gave her a false sense of home after losing her entire family by his hands and then killed her off and stole all her wealth.

i believe she had the most tragic death and if you want to debate on the argument of ‘innocence,’ she really displayed no evils.

Venetia - Womb

oh the rant im about to do

a seed in mother and I chose that space for me / little does she know it's free, ooh, yeah

the moment i saw her on screen i just knew she had some sort of issue with her mother and boy was i so on the spot

its vague when Elspeth mentions it so i could be completely wrong but i believe Venetia ( and Felix ) was raised by her grandparent ( “my mother always said born masochist” )

i felt that Venetia has wanted to get a rise out of her mother with her sexual activities because she was never given that parental figure she wanted. never been disciplined the way she should’ve as a child or told good from bad.

how Elspeth just dumps out all Venetia’s dirty laundry the moment she meets Oliver and doesn’t seem to care that she’s flaunting herself to a complete stranger. almost encourages it!

its no wonder she’s so close with her brother because he’s shown true spine with her

and I know my brother / he'll make the journey later on / conversations in the cosmos, yeah

if you didnt pick up on the incestuous relationship between Felix n Venetia i don’t believe we watched the same movie.

a lot of what im saying is up for debate but i know that their parents took trips frequently. the casual mention of going to London for Pamela’s funeral was all by chance and if Elspeth hadn't said anything they would have left without a word, and seeing how okay with it Venetia and Felix were gave me so many thought on them.

just being stuck in all of Saltburn by themselves just free to do with the wealth and the space as they please alone together

for years it must have always been them, maybe Farleigh was there on occasion but most of the time its been them.

and i can see with Felix it’s beyond protective brother. no he’s made claim to Venetia the same way he’s done for Oliver and all his past friends.

“i’m used to it, honestly. he never liked sharing his toys. even the ones he doesn’t want to play with anymore.” oh im so sick

at first i had thought Oliver was replaced again but she was referring to herself in this moment and that did it for me.

Felix claiming his own sister for himself, she doesn’t need another males approval because Felix is all she has depended on for her every need why should she stop now even if he doesn't think of her in that way anymore?

why should she go for another when he’s still here? why go through that pain when he’s only ever showed her real happiness?

no one could ever be as impactful as him in her life and whenever someone gets close he cuts them off. i’m gonna climb the walls

feeling alive, the closer that I get to my life / i’m pushing out the center, the core / i’m sweating through the flower no more, no more

Venetia finding her control and power through the means of her own body is sickening to me.

like openly saying how she got molested and her own mother making a joke out of it and offering her to a stranger im so sick and furious right now.

sex being the only way she’s noticed, the only way people will listen to her the way she wants instead of being seen like some fragile beauty like her mother

all of the planning, yet I still feel unprepared / kick and screaming 'cause I'm scared, ooh, yeah

sorry to bring it back to the incest but my god you cannot tell me she doesn’t get at all Felix’s closet friends for the giggles

Venetia is sickeningly scared of losing the one person in the house she’s emotional intertwined to so of course she interjects herself into his relationships the only way she knows how — and it works every time.

getting with all of Felix's best friends to spend more time with Felix as the lover of his closest friends this girl was obsessed

she knows he’ll get mad and she knows she’ll get that parental chiding from Felix but he will never cut her off the way he does his friends because they only have each other in end.

the intimacy between them tells a story only woven by having to embrace one another on a different level then just siblings. they were naked in front of each other sunbathing unabashed like a regular tuesday for fucks sake.

and I know she suffers contractions of hell and death / eyes are bloody screaming out, ooh, yeah

thinking about her final moments with this

bathing in Felix’s bath tub, soaking in his soap, smelling his aftershave on Oliver’s face like second nature, seeing his clothes on another man and feeling so disgusted and yet its so inviting.

she kisses Oliver in the heat of the moment not because its him but because if she closes her eyes and forget for just a moment it would have been Felix.

but of course its not enough and its not the same as having him there alive so she chooses.

a life on earth that's a living hell without the man that makes her whole or to be reunited with him in death. she chose the latter.

Farleigh - Void

it's tastin' kinda lonely / and my mind wants to control me

the self-preserving outcast of the Cattons.

its clear in the script and Archie did such a wonderful portrayal of his emotions because that boy Farleigh was really there for himself.

he had his own back from the get go

he’d be present within all conversation but at the same time watching everyone, pinpoint each and every shift in the pecking order and making sure he doesn’t leave his place in the middle of it all.

no one here but me to judge me

whether it ever was a race thing or if it was just a status thing, Farleigh knew of his own worth and because of it he knew the other couldn’t ever understand him no matter how much explaining would need to be done

then comes in Oliver, the outcast with a need for a approval that he knows will overshadow his own

honestly i never thought he hated him per se, but he knew of his intentions from the start he just underestimated how low Oliver would go to maintain his own position

i’m tryin' to find the doorway / my eyes are starin' at me / and they seem so damn unhappy

his family struggles and pride being his greatest turmoil of all in the movie

seeing how easily the Cattons give away their wealth to complete strangers over their own bloodline must not have been easy, especially having to go and beg for it.

i believe he wanted a way out of it, to find some way to rely on himself to support his side of the family but that wasn’t something be could have easily obtained so the Cattons were his only real option.

pipe down with the noise, i cannot bear my sorrow

Farleigh being the first to notice Oliver for who he is the night of the death and the morning following hurt me so much

if he had more of a backbone to press into Felix and the rest of the family that this nobody can’t get close to them i feel like things would have been so different.

Felix was a family matter, Oliver’s presences wasn’t a needed one especially only having known him for a single term. it was just invading

in that moment of sadness is when it clicked for Farleigh, if not that Oli was the root of the problems at Slatburn he had to be a factor in them

but do to his own emotions he couldn’t find the right way to expose it.

look at the mess i've done, there is nowhere to run, yeah / holdin' a loaded gun, the void

Oliver outing Farleigh in the end to ensure that he was dealt with in his plan. i’m furious

not that anything he was doing the night of the party was right but he wasn’t the only one

the maids scrubbing cocaine from the toilets and tables highlights that plus Venetia and Felix were there too but Farleigh was only trying to fit in and keep his place in the close circle so he joins them. if he were reluctant to or chicken out then he wouldn’t be a toy anymore and that looming pressure of loosing his funding was already enough to keep him chained to them.

but it was never something he could have denied or challenged especially with his history so he had no choice but to leave all his life and behind and get replaced by a nobody.

Sir James - Battle of the Larynx

explained within duo expression.

Pamela - The Contortionist

twisted all my limbs for you / two of them in knots and two of them in loops

poor dear Pamela

she was the only normal person in the entire film with no grudge on anyone or ill intent. literally just need a place to stay to get back on her feet and that is what the Cattons offered but because she wasn't interesting enough to entertain them they tossed her away.

asking her to fetch a made as soon as Oliver enters as an excuse to get her to leave so the conversation could shift onto her

you can tell 'em what you wanted to

Pamela didn't live a life of lavish obviously by her proper nature ( the same persona Oliver pretended to play except you know a genuine one ) so of course the others treated her as entertainment.

Farleigh and Elspeth saying her looks were her only point just a dull flower in bloom

also Elspeth's comment about how she dropping so many hints before it goes so far really bugged me

like the only time they pressed for her to leave was at the dinner when she brought up having found a place and even then it was a half assed 'oh we'll miss you so much'

twisting all my bones like screws / stretching my self-worth, just like you usually do

i think Pamela thought of Elspeth as a friend helping out

then she's suddenly thrusted out of the house without notice, bags already packed and cab fare paid as if her new arrangements had been already settled.

i cannot begin to understand how hurt she might have been in that moment and what could have been the core drive for her suicide but her death really hurt me the most.

DUO EXSPRESSIONS

Oliver & Ventia / Elspeth - Faerie Soiree

mushrooms everywhere i'm turning / laced with love, intensive grooving / they said, they sail / i know how to make you go crazy every day

the spell he casted on both Elspeth and Venetia

had both woman hooked on him trying to draw that hidden side he only expressed to them in secret.

the Oliver that got Venetia to eat again. the Oliver that had Elsepth stunned at his forwardness and thinking of him even after the incident. the Oliver that would have had Farleigh under his thumb if he hadn't went for the kill so soon.

led me astray to the faerie soirée / alone, alone / now i wanna ride with the magic / lose sight of the gravity of home

he was a welcomed distraction to both of them. a change that they hadn't thought would be influential as he was.

given them both an individual false hope - for Venetia it was a man who showed initiative if only for a moment that could toy with her instead of the other way around; for Elspeth it was familiarity he would give her some sort of normal in the now hollow halls of Saltburn.

it is such a shame both couldn't see past the fantasy until it was too late.

Oliver & Ventia - Moon Cycle

...do I really need to explain?

But in all seriousness,

he bit the cherry down, he's delirious / seeing red figures in his mirrors and / acting like a real tough, furious

giving her a outlet for her parental issues

the first man in a while that showed her dominance in a way that had her changing her whole routine

he says he doesn't care, that he's into this / it happens every time the new season hits

Venetia thought Oliver would be different than Felix's other toys that come to Saltburn, but was disappointed once again.

now he kissing on the ground that i walk on / tryna get another taste, but I'm all cramped up

her dumping him right after Felix found out ( thinking Felix had a private conversation with her ) he was eager to fic things but she wasn't going to play a game with another coward of a man.

juice melting like raspberry pomegranate / it's so scary

" no, i wanted to look at the moon. it's nearly full. do you know what that means? " | " we're all about to lose our minds. "

oh the foreshadowing. Venetia you are too powerful

seeing that version of Oliver ( the one who had her delirious ) the day of the incident. piecing together everything in the end ( you disgusting little nobody. oh my god. you ate him right up. and licked the fucking plate. ) leaving her shocked and broken over what she's done. how close she got close to the cause of it all. frightened by everything

Sir James & Elspeth - Battle of the Larynx

i speak in cursive, i'm poignant, assertive / there's musical chairs in my teeth

Sir ' what i say must be the truth always ' James

thinking about how nothing happens unless he approves. how every order and command that was ever given had went through him first if it wasn't his command to begin with

deciding that Pamela needed to leave, lowering the amount Farleigh's mom gets, cutting Farleigh off after finding out about the drugs, bribing Oliver because he needed normalcy again

and it was all enforced with such urgency too, no question to any of it like he was a general to his soldiers

don't you battle with my larynx tonight / i'll wreck you if you chase me / but i'll be silent 'til you cross the line

Sir James had minimal lines within the movie but whenever he did it held authority.

when something wasn't going the right way he'll interject ( insisting to Pamela at the dinner table that her time was due ) other than that he was silent until called upon

and they talk without thinking / they bark while they're shaking / with teeth that are round and dull

he was the controlling factor within the family and to Elspeth

he knew what was best for her all the time, he knew what she needed all the time, he knew just what to say to get her to listen all the time

i will die on this hill. Elspeth would have let Pamela stay longer if he hadn't said anything to her and she probably would have overlooked Farleigh doing drugs the day of the party if Sir James didn't fight it.

but anyway, James wasn't someone that Oliver could have manipulated, not like the rest of the family so he had to buy time until his death which he got lucky for.

Saltburn would have been unattainable if Sir James hadn't passed really.

Farleigh & Oliver - EVIL

and it felt like bliss, used to miss your kiss / now i'm hop-skip jumpin' over narcissists / ... / now the role is reversed and told you i'ma switch / how you like my spit?

they should have fucked on screen at least four more times your honor

their back and forth. cat and mouse. push and pull. the tension of fighting for the center spot of attention for the family and fucking for dominance would have done it for me

but Oliver had to fuck that up with the email. he could have really controlled Farleigh, lulled him into thinking they should work together for what they want and then hung him out to dry but no Oliver was greedy

the panic in Oliver's eyes though when Farleigh admits to being invited to the party after he thought he got rid of him was priceless

just one foiled seduction after another with him

everything i expressed, i professed / it never quite made it through / ... / no, i won't defend you to all my friends / this time, i refuse

the quips at Oliver's pride. the mentions of getting bored and tossed aside. stating his claim on Saltburn and rubbing it in his face on his birthday. Farleigh played the game well even if he lost it in the end.

if you bite my hand again / i will never feed you, you can call me evil / take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend / i won't be mistreated, please call me conceited

Oliver finding out about Farleigh's private life and family issues and Farleigh's retaliation at karaoke with "rent".

Oliver pointing out their in the same boat offering the mic and how easily Farleigh accepts the mic just like how easily he accepts his role.

shows their difference in it really; Farleigh takes it as it is, he knows what his life has become and what could happen if it ends. and yet Oliver still saw himself as something more to the Cattons and especially Felix.

Farleigh & Ventia - Powder

don't wanna know where you go when you aren't around / i'd rather stay naive, too much to believe

it's past point of no return, when will we learn? / alert me when this shit is over

the acceptance they both have to face in the end. Farleigh in knowing he's been bested and that all his wealth is gone. Venetia seeing how Oliver got to consume her own brother's identity whole and take what was most precious to her.

show me a picture you paint of someone else / lived a double life, wish i was surprised

eyes rollin' back to your head, and i'm wonderin' how / i recognize your face, put it all to waste

will never be the same again knowing that these two died seeing the truth. all the fight was stripped from them piece and left vulnerable to the emotional pain Oliver put them through.

THE CAUSE AND EFFECT

Felix to Everyone - Nymphology

call me your nymph / praise me for martyr, praise me for sin / call me your muse / a sprite or an elf you cry to, then use

Felix was everything to everyone. he could do no wrong as he was the pinnacle; forced on a pedestal he never fought for or against.

everyone wanted Felix. be it to brag about the sex, to have the money or to just let it be known that they were in his circle.

and he lived it up.

he knew the power he had on people and used it how he pleased. ditching his hookups when he got bored, cutting ties with friends that weren't of interest to his close circle anymore.

he knew of the people's infatuation, but no one ever dared to over step a boundary in fear of angering their chosen so he lived like he was untouchable. believed he was on another level to all and got so full of himself he couldn't see the signs of wandering hands getting closer and closer to the unattainable.

i'm not crazy, i'm not wild, you're just stupid, little child / get your image off my back, i'll give you a heart attack

Oliver wanted Felix in both body and mind. the devotion he forced onto Felix, begging and pleading to be his henchman again after being found out.

Felix wanted none of it, the first time ever seeing someone want him on a level of desperate he's never seen and feeling revolted

but Oliver tells it to him the way no one else could, because that is his life. people treat him like a king on his throne and approach in a line offering whatever they can to get his approval. locked in the maze with no guards he was left to see it all as it is.

Oliver to Felix - Pluto / Light Shower but will not elaborate

I think that it's finally time pluto, destroy me / kill me off slowly / i'll bathe in my ashes / rise like a phoenix / show me who I am becoming

Felix bringing Oliver to the point of no return.

cutting him off with dignity for the sake of the family not knowing he made a mistake in judgement.

Oliver not being able to handle being seen, cannot cope with knowing that his infatuation sees his true colors

pluto, transform me / turn off my lonely / i'll sit with my silence / fix all my conflict / show me the demons I'm hiding

yet at the same time, he's free.

he has had his fill of Felix - his fill of the Cattons - whether he wanted to believe it or not.

he had gotten closer than his plan had assigned, so close he's hurt by his own action. crying and fucking his grave as one last show of his 'love' left soaking in the muck.

moving on with no regrets to the next phase of the plan.

Oliver to the Cattons - Milk of the Siren

strangle the fear of deciding / which one's deserving to drown

the montage at the end

Oliver's plan unfolding the moment he laid eyes on Felix. how he watched and waited, studied what would have made him noticeable. Found out his class schedule and he sabotaged his bike, weaved a lie so great that when it was found out he had to die.

tired of silence and being polite / your legs turn to shimmering scales in the night

Oliver hunting the Cattons in the evening. whispers to Elsepth, the peeping tom moments with Felix, following Venetia, fucking Farleigh.

all of it under the moons watchful eye.

don't feel bad when these fuckers all drown / let them drown / let them drown / let them drown

" and you made it so easy. spoiled dogs sleeping belly-up." | " no natural predators. " | " well... almost none. "

nothing wrong with a little havoc (drink from the leche of sirens) / it's fun when shit hits the fan

all the side notes in the script. ( he looks up to see Duncan’s silhouette staring down at him from the hill above. he can deal with that later. )

he had fun toying with them all and becoming the new king. putting all their wealth to a better use than he thought they could.

[zombie-eats-world]

Hi, I’m a big fan of your Demon Bride series on ao3! This is probably a weird request, but would it be possible for you to make a sort of explanation post of the lore? I want to understand what’s happening better but unfortunately i am stupid

Hi! Sorry this took me so long to get to, I've been a little down and been trying to work back into a creative place. So finally I pulled my writing together and put together the lore!

Demon ranks: These are not necessarily in order of power; I am just listing them and who I know is in the rank. King: Doflamingo Donquixote, more to be added. Lord: Lucci, more to be added Cerberus: Sanji, Kidd, Killer (the three strongest canine demons) Lower lord: Masked Deuce, lower or higher demons that have gotten a human bride Higher demon: lower demon that’s managed to get a human soul, those that have worked to gain power and a longer life. Gaining a longer life includes but is not limited to being named Lower demon: young succubus and incubus, newly made demons, none long living demons. unnamed demons Human bride: Can be male or female, the power a bride gives to the demon is dependent on how “unattainable” a human soul is. This includes sacrifices that didn’t give their lives willingly, souls that can’t be tainted, and humans with connections to high-ranking demons.

Demon Bride marriage system

Why marry a demon/human: Human emotions, thoughts, and feelings are ‘food’ for a demon. The more they feed off strong souls, feelings, and emotions the stronger they become.

The strongest of demons made their rise during wars and other major human events.

Humans that die and go to hell provide food with their soul until that is eventually completely devoured and they are reborn as a lower demon.

The process of marrying a living human provides a demon with an anchoring point on earth, allowing them to feast. Growing stronger and more powerful throughout the humans mortal life.

In exchange the human goes to hell when they die, their soul becoming food for that demon and only that demon. When their soul is eaten up they get half of the power the demon gained while on earth and retain their own name, rocketing them up the food chain.

How one marries a demon: First, you have to be desirable to a demon. There are a few kinds of humans demons normally go for, but the higher ranking a demon is the more picky they’ll be.

The most desirable kind of human soul is one that cannot be tainted by normal means. Normally a demon would simply taint a soul and then cause that soul's death, thus allowing them to feed off it. But some humans are simply impenetrable. (Like Sabo is explained to be in his story in the series) The only way to truly feed off that kind of soul is to get willing consent.

Typically souls like this host a lot of untapped energy to give so demons are very attracted to these kinds of humans.

The second way to enter a demon marriage is to be sacrificed to a demon against your will.

A demon can’t actually get your soul even if sacrificed to them unless given consent, so in that moment that have the opportunity to engage in a marriage.

Most sacrifices don’t end up catching the demon's attention that they’re being sacrificed to, so you have to be monumentally lucky to be offered a marriage deal. (As Crocodile was in his story)

The last kind of desirable human is for the most mundane reason. If you are related to a high-ranking demon somehow or related to their bride, demons will want you for networking reasons.

Typically high-ranking demons use their time on earth after getting a bride to drum up as much power in their faction as possible. This means getting as many of their followers a human bride deal as possible and helping them to grow powerful. Lower-ranking demons managing to snag humans of importance to their leader can get more help in attaining power if they play it right. (This is why Cerberus was all after Luffy.) If you have any other questions about the lore in the series please let me know! I was really happy to get this ask even if it took me so long to answer it!

[milkstoner]

Thoughts of DILF, middle aged Sebek? Since you did Silver the duo has to be complete, haha. I personally feel like he would be more of a refined, fancy old guy, maybe even embracing his human and academic side more with age? I like to think he laughs more since toboso described him as being similar to a puppy in the art book🥰 but I’d like to get your thoughts if you have the time, thank you :D

okay there’s mallesebemalle in this im sorry

Without even thinking hard about it… WOULD.

Now that this is out of the way, I need a DILF Sebe. I think he inherits half of a fey’s lifespan, so by the time Silver is 45-50 Sebek still looks quite young. Silver won’t be there to see how gracefully Sebek ages.

It’s around like, halfway through his life (i won’t give a year bc I have no idea how long the Zigvolts live lol) that he’ll need reading glasses… hot. Also, he smells so good oh my goodness. An old DILF that wears an exquisite expensive cologne yes please. Even after all those years, he takes great care of himself. Grooms himself regularly… shaves his facial hair… he’s so sexy. Still slicks back his hair, all that stuff… except he’s old now… yum

He has a loud booming laugh!!! It makes you all warm inside. His crows feet creasing when he laugh oh my … and he routinely slaps his men on the back as a friendly gesture but omg it actually hurts a lot. He’s friendly and such a sweet mentor and father figure, but when things get serious my god he gets intimidating. Strict with his men. Punishes the troublemakers with Lilia-style training. Basically, PE teacher energy. Provides surface-level emotional support, but you can tell he cares and he can tell when you don’t feel so well, so it warms you up still. Dad jokes. DAD JOKES. Not funny, super embarrassing , actually very charming. Hi gay, I’m Sebek Zigvolt LIKE SHUT UPPPPP.

Patriotic, takes pride in his fey and human sides!!! Proud of himself for going up the ranks as a half fey. His humanity is actually very attractive to the gay boys under him zhfhdgfj. Anyway, he learned to find strength in his humanity—I mean that he can somewhat predict/understand the motivations etc of a human enemy, moreso than a full fey. but! His race makes him unique and valuable to have within the ranks.

He’s all grown and he’s actually as tall as Malleus. He drinks scotch, certified dilf drink, and malleus drinks straight absinthe. (Shakily holds my mic) do we want to see dilf Sebe fuck Malleus? I’m. Oh. I’m a top Malleus girlie. Oh my. Okay, they switch. I’m sorry Malleus… oh my god Malleus I’m sorry. It’s just something irresistible about a dilf fucking a younger looking man. Malleus seeing just how much Sebek has grown, how strong he is, how casual, how sweet he is… hey Sebek is supposed to protect Malleus, and there is something submissive in being protected, right? I think I do like sebemallesebe better if Sebe is middle aged because the potential for char dev and Sebek finally loosening up and having a somewhat healthy but scandalous sexual relationship with his king is so enticing. I cannot picture our current Sebek even daring to kiss Malleus, but give him some experience and just a bit of flirting from Malleus and he’ll have no qualms about climbing into the king’s bed. Can’t deny the king!! He wouldn’t dare! He’ll be really caring with Malleus you know, until he realizes he’s inside of him and his heart starts palpitating. The passionate kisses, oh my… he’ll give his all to make Malleus feel good… like to the point of overstimulation, and that’s a lot. Malleus has to grip Sebek’s head when he comes for the umpteenth time because my, general (!!!) Zigvolt, you’re enjoying this a bit much… before savagely kissing him hmhm

The opposite dynamic is so sexy too. I want Malleus to fuck that old man into the mattress. I want them both covered in the other’s seed. I want them to fuck each other for hours. Sebek’s deep hoarse groans into the sheets please…….. I’m sorry. Both of them are such refined, sophisticated old men… I want to see them lost in desire to the point they get so dirty… OLD MAN YAOI😭😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜 passionately making out in candlelight, between the shelves in the library… somebody will smell a different cologne on Malleus…

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Dead Zone (1983)

You walk into The Dead Zone with certain assumptions based on the names on the poster. Though David Cronenberg has directed many different films in various genres, when you see his name next to Stephen King’s, you expect a lot of gross corpses and nightmare fuel. With Christopher Walken in the lead, you might think the film will be… a bit goofy? I mean let’s face it, he’s basically become a living meme at this point. That’s not what you’re getting. I’m not sure I’d even categorize The Dead Zone as a horror film; it’s a blend between several genres, a great Twilight Zone-type story with an excellent performance from its lead, strong emotions throughout and a great conclusion.

After a date with his girlfriend, Sarah (Brooke Adams), Johnny Smith (Walken) is injured in a car accident and left comatose. Waking up after five years, Johnny discovers he now has psychic abilities. By touching someone, he can learn about their future, past, or parts of their present even they may be unaware of.

In many stories, we’ve seen superheroes lament their extraordinary abilities - it’s never sat well with me. Rotten luck with the girl next door or not, everyone wants to be Spider-Man. In The Dead Zone, Johnny’s power feels like a curse. While he manages to save someone soon after waking up, news of this extraordinary skill quickly spreads and in no time, he’s being hounded by reporters who want to turn him into an exhibit and strangers who want his help for trivial matters like finding a lost dog. The man’s already having a difficult enough time accepting that he no longer has a job or a girlfriend, that he’s missed out on half a decade of living and now this? It’s no wonder he wants to return this gift.

What follows are a series of episodic “adventures” that always ultimately return to Johnny and his relationship with the rest of the world as seen by the way he interacts with children. When the film begins, he is a school teacher. When he wakes up from his coma, he has lost his job and learns that Sarah now has a husband and a young child of her own. She represents the life he missed because of his accident. Later, a 15-year-old girl is murdered by a serial killer and authorities briefly convince Johnny to return to the world from his self-imposed exile to help with the investigation. In another film, this hunt for a murderer with Sheriff George Bannerman (Tom Skerritt) would’ve been the whole movie. Here, it’s just a snippet of a bigger story as Johnny figures out how and when he wants to use his abilities. His desire to have a family, to keep children safe or to follow his calling as a teacher always bring him back to our world but his ability to see beyond pushes him away. Meanwhile, the mysteries to solve always remain secondary to the emotional journey. It’s a perfect marriage delicately balanced by director Cronenberg, who infuses so much humanity in this fantastic tale.

As Johnny, Christopher Walken delivers an excellent performance. You can feel the whirlwind of conflicting emotions within him. The heartbreak of losing his sweetheart, the daunting questions regarding his abilities, the frustration and isolation that come with his newfound fame. He’s aided by an excellent screenplay by Jeffrey Boam, who improves the novel by King by tying every episode together thematically and condensing the story into an efficient package.

The Dead Zone easily ranks among the best adaptations of Stephen King’s works. It’s so much more than its premise, which is saying something considering the potential of Johnny’s abilities. The characters are rich, the interactions are emotional and human. The conclusion is perfect. I’m not sure how it would play out a second time when you know the answers to each of the mysteries we encounter but I intend to find out. It’s a movie you’ll want to revisit. (August 20, 2021)

[danielfuckingricciardo]

Because I’m in the Eurovision mood I thought I’d share my favourite song from each country (past and present!)

1. Albania 🇦🇱

2022 - Sekret // Ronela Hajati

2. Andorra 🇦🇩

2006 - Sense Tu // Jennifer

3. Armenia 🇦🇲

2014 - Not Alone // Aram MP3

4. Australia 🇦🇺

2015 - Tonight Again // Guy Sebastian

5. Austria 🇦🇹

2014 - Rise Like a Phoenix // Conchita Wurst

(This song makes me feel emotions every time damn it!)

6. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿

2021 - Mata Hari // Efendi

7. Belarus 🇧🇾

2014 - Cheesecake // Teo

(Underrated tune fr)

8. Belgium 🇧🇪

2015 - Rhythm Inside // Loïc Nottet

9. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

2011 - Love in Rewind // Dino Merlín

10. Bulgaria 🇧🇬

2017 - Beautiful Mess // Kristian Kostov

11. Croatia 🇭🇷

2023 - Mama ŠČ! // Let 3

12. Cyprus 🇨🇾

2018 - Fuego // Eleni Foureira

13. Czechia 🇨🇿

2019 - Friend of a Friend // Lake Malawi

(Was very hard to choose between this one and Lie To Me. It’s a very close second)

14. Denmark 🇩🇰

2021 - Øve Os På Hinanden // Fyr Og Flamme

(Was robbed in the semi-finals imo)

15. Estonia 🇪🇪

2015 - Goodbye to Yesterday // Elina Born + Stig Rästa

16. Finland 🇫🇮

2022 - Jezebel // The Rasmus

(Should have done so much better imo)

17. France 🇫🇷

2016 - J’ai Cherché // Amir

18. Georgia 🇬🇪

2011 - One More Day // Eldrine

19. Germany 🇩🇪

2011 - Taken by a Stranger // Lena

(Better than Satellite for sure, but Satellite slaps too)

20. Greece 🇬🇷

2008 - Secret Combination // Kalomira

21. Hungary 🇭🇺

2018 - Viszlát Nyár // AWS

22. Iceland 🇮🇸

2020 - Think About Things // Daði og Gagnamagnið

(Basic I know but it’s just such a good tune)

23. Ireland 🇮🇪

2011 - Lipstick // Jedward

(Not sorry about this one it slaps and Jedward are my kings)

24. Israel 🇮🇱

2015 - Golden Boy // Nadav Guedj

25. Italy 🇮🇹

(Gonna have to do a top five because I have such a thing for Italy in Eurovision I can’t pick just one oop)

2017 - Occidentali’s Karma // Francesco Gabbani

2015 - Grande Amore // Il Volo

2018 - Non Mi Avette Fatto Niente // Ermal Meta + Fabrizio Moro

2021 - Zitti E Buoni // Måneskin

2019 - Soldi // Mahmood

26. Latvia 🇱🇻

2022 - Eat Your Salad // Citi Zēni

(As a vegetarian and a bisexual I approve this message)

27. Lithuania 🇱🇹

2021 - Discotheque // The Roop

28. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

1988 - Croire // Lara Fabian

29. Malta 🇲🇹

2022 - Je Me Casse // Destiny

30. Moldova 🇲🇩

(My second favourite Eurovision country so here’s a top three)

2022 - Trenulețul // Zdob şi Zdub & Advahov Brothers

2018 - My Lucky Day // DoReDos

2017 - Hey Mamma // Sunstroke Project

31. Monaco 🇲🇨

1964 - Où Sont-elles Passées? // Romuald

(When I say I have an obsession with this song I mean it. PS Monaco plz come back we miss you!!)

32. Montenegro 🇲🇪

2015 - Adio // Knez

- Ranking Morocco doesn’t really feel fair because they only participated once lol -

33. The Netherlands 🇳🇱

2016 - Slow Down // Douwe Bob

(Hehe 33 Max Verstappen number it’s fate fr)

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰

2012 - Crno I Belo // Kaliopi

35. Norway 🇳🇴

2009 - Fairytale // Alexander Rybak

(Listen I know it’s a basic choice but this song is iconic for a reason y’know? It slaps)

36. Poland 🇵🇱

2022 - River // Ochman

(King of the vocals fr brings me to tears every time)

37. Portugal 🇵🇹

2021 - Love is On My Side // The Black Mamba

38. Romania 🇷🇴

2010 - Playing With Fire // Paula Seling + Ovi

39. Russia 🇷🇺

2016 - You are the Only One // Sergey Lazarev

(Listen I’m a Sergey Lazarev stan first and human second. Between 2016 and 2018 I almost exclusively listened to his back catalogue and nothing else)

40. San Marino 🇸🇲

(Underrated country fr no one gets them like I do so they also get a top three)

2022 - Stripper // Achille Lauro

2021 - Adrenalina // Senhit + Flo-Rida

2019 - Say Na Na Na // Serhat

41. Serbia 🇷🇸

2023 - Samo Mi Se Spava // Luke Black

- Also not counting Serbia and Montenegro because they don’t have an emoji flag and they only participated twice -

42. Slovakia 🇸🇰

2010 - Horehronie // Kristina Pelakova

43. Slovenia 🇸🇮

2023 - Carpe Diem // Joker Out

44. Spain 🇪🇸

2019 - La Venda // Miki

(When I say this song was robbed I mean it. One of the biggest injustices faced in Eurovision was Miki coming 22nd)

45. Sweden 🇸🇪

(Sweden get a top three because they’re Sweden… they always slay)

2015 - Heroes // Måns Zelmerlöw

2012 - Euphoria // Loreen

2017 - I Can’t Go On // Robin Bengtsson

46. Switzerland 🇨🇭

2021 - Tout l'Univers // Gjon’s Tears

47. Türkiye 🇹🇷

2010 - We Could Be The Same // maNga

(Türkiye come back we miss you!!)

48. Ukraine 🇺🇦

(Another slay country so here’s a top three)

2018 - Under the Ladder // MELOVIN

2007 - Dancing Lasha Tumbai // Verka Serduchka

2021 - Shum // Go_A

49. United Kingdom 🇬🇧

(In the name of patriotism, of which I have very little, let’s do a top five + an honourable mention)

2012 - Love Will Set You Free // Engelbert Humperdinck

2022 - SPACE MAN // Sam Ryder

1981 - Making Your Mind Up // Buck’s Fizz

1968 - Congratulations // Cliff Richard

1976 - Save Your Kisses for Me // Brotherhood of Man

+ my honourable mention, Freaks // Jordan Clarke which should have been our song for 2019 but the British general public have no taste. I firmly believe this is why they no longer trust us to hold a national selection anymore lol

50. Yugoslavia *insert flag here*

1989 - Rock Me // Riva

(Basic choice I know, to pick their only winning song, but it slaps)

And that’s everyone!! Feel free to judge me hard for my tastes lol 😂

[yukiakaren]

Kpop title track ranking: VIXX

In this series I’ll be ranking kpop groups/soloists title tracks based on my taste.

VIXX is one of my ult groups. This is very much backed up by the fact that my tumblr archive tells me that VIXX is my second most used tag of all time. Now having this Leo&Ken&Hyuk MNET reunion stage made me listen to VIXX a lot after a while and reminded me that I could do this ranking thing for their songs too, so here we go! (I basically love them all so this is going to be both pointless and extremely difficult xD) 

Eternity - My true love. This was the first VIXX song that heard a snippet of and I had to go and listen to the full song. That was the most right choice ever made. I loved it immediately. And after all these years my love for this song just keeps on getting stronger. It’s a masterpiece and I love it to bits. Also just the instrumental version of it gets me all emotional. It’s incredible.

Error - Another tear jerker (next to Eternity). My first ever comeback as a Starlight and they delivered. I love this to bits too, Eternity just has even more special place in my heart.

Scentist - Mature masterpiece. Damn it’s just awesome. I wish we could have gotten even more of this mature and gorgeous VIXX.

Shangri-La - It’s so gorgeous! Just all about it. It’s just so pleasing to listen to.

Voodoo Doll - After that Leo&Ken&Hyuk reunion stage I’ve been stuck on Voodoo Doll! Usually I would probably not put it before On and On but right now yes I will!

On and On - And the concept kings were born! I had a period when this was my favorite VIXX song. It’s still great as ever and I can’t help loving it.

Hyde - I love the duality concept so so much!!! Those stage outfits being split 3-3 was so cool. Truly I love these songs so much and it just depends on my current mood how I rank them.

Fantasy - I have to say hearing this now, after quite a few years, I realize that I have not given this one enough credit. It’s incredible!! I’ve always liked it, sure, but somehow I’ve never given it much thought other than that. It still ends up in the middle of the pack as I have too much nostalgia-driven love for the other before it but oh my I’ve been wrong here!

Rock Ur Body - It’s such a cheerful one! Okay, I have to admit that when I first got into VIXX I didn’t like this one immediately but I grew to like it too. But I have to say it’s so catchy and cheerful I can’t help nut think fondly of it.

Super Hero - Another such cheerful one! The styling in the music video has seen better days (I mean maybe it did) but other than that I don’t think it has aged badly. It’s cute and bubbly and I’m here for it!

Chained Up - Oh boy oh boy Chained Up. There are layers here, aren’t there? The concept. Anyway. It is so so catchy, and there is no way to deny that. Also SBS Gayo Daejun 2015 performance, the noise that added to the chorus. I’m obsessed! Why doesn’t it belong to the original version, I’m so bitter xD

Dynamite - Cheerful but more grown up than the first two. Groovy? Very enjoyable but I have to say I quite rarely find myself wanting to go for Dynamite specifically.

Love Equation - This is such a special case as it actually is a remake. Counted it in because they performed it on music shows. Good that they did as they ended up winning so much with it! Happy and proud Starlight here. As a song it’s cheerful sound-wise and then you read the lyrics and you go “Oh it’s a breakup song!” Lovely but I personally usually go for the others instead.

The Closer - I admit it. I never quite got The Closer. I don’t know why but it never clicked with me. I don’t actively dislike it but I don’t get anything out of it either. And that’s just too bad. AND can we talk about the video? Poor N - who’s terrified of heights - you made him hang of that edge... Poor thing ;_; 

G.R.8.U - I didn’t even remember that this was actually a title track, oops. It’s cute and fun but I guess me forgetting that it actually is a title track tells all that needs to be told xD 

What can I even say? VIXX is amazing. Their music is amazing. I still love them dearly and have a glimmer of hope that one day we could get a proper VIXX comeback.

[tea-tarot-and-me]

Weekly Tarot: 04/14/24 - 04/20/24

Choose the pile for you below:

Control Freak

Deeply Bonded

Let Love In

Disclaimer: These readings are for entertainment purposes only and are not to be used in place of medical, legal or professional advice.

Pile 1 Cards: The Hermit, 2 of Swords rev.; Queen of Wands rev.; The Hierophant; The Moon; Control Freak

Withdraw this week and conserve your energy. Be less conspicuous in spaces where you might generally put yourself out there. I think the key word for you is conserve. Don’t shut down, because you still need to participate wherever this week takes you.

You’ve made up your mind about something. You’re not struggling with indecision but I think, in exchange for the clarity you’ve gained, you want to go full throttle towards whatever it is you’ve decided on. Take a ride with me back to the Magic School Bus days, and keep a lid on that potential energy. You’re ready to light something up but now is not yet the time. That time is coming, to channel what you’ve been accumulating into something kinetic and spectacular.

If you must make steps, make sure you do everything in the right order, dotting your I’s and crossing your T’s. Follow what’s been done and don’t create a lane for yourself. Keep your head up and proceed slowly and practically. You will end up with some frustration because this pile likes to know and choose where they’re headed, but I don’t think you’re allowed to see beyond that veil just yet. And perhaps that’s part of the lesson? To let go and let it flow? (Oooh, Let it Flow by Toni Braxton might be another song to give a listen to.)

Pile 2 Cards: The Hierophant, Five of Wands rev.; Knight of Cups; King of Cups; Ten of Pentacles; Deeply Bonded

Okay, this pile…have a solo dance party please!! Like get down to something with a good beat and enjoy yourself and laugh while you’re doing it. Ting-A-Ling came on during the shuffle and I burst out laughing. 

This week may not bring upheaval but it will ask you to stand in your roots and uphold what has stood the test of time. For those of you who live for chaos, this isn’t the week to channel it. Or if it seeks you out, stick to the tried and true.

I’m not sure if things have been crazy for you lately, but I will reiterate what I said before - let the chaos and or conflict pass you by. Seek the company of someone who keeps you in tune with your emotions and intuition this week, if they come your way - all the better. Beneath the surface, you’re being called to be in tune with your emotions and intuition in an intelligent way. Don’t leave the logic behind for the emotion and vice versa. The future you’d like to build that seems so far away, begins with the little steps… and perhaps in community. If community is hard right now, start with the little steps to get to where you want to be one day. Perhaps a hello!

Pile 3 Cards: 6 of Swords rev.; The Star rev.; Wheel of Fortune rev.; The Chariot; 8 of Wands; Let Love In

In the music shuffle, this was the only selection this week without words. But while card shuffling, so many cards wanted to jump out. Are you finding it difficult to express yourself, but you’re holding a lot in? There’s an unfortunate experience you’re currently trying to escape but a combination of your own anxieties and your general circumstances keep you stuck where you are.

This week, all of this may culminate in feeling hopeless and by hopeless I mean that you’re hoping less than usual rather than saying you are without hope. The ebbs and flows of life can’t be helped and where sometimes life will leave you low, it will also take you high. Unfortunately, all of the whens, whys and hows aren’t in your hands.

What is in your hands this week, are the choices you make and where you pour your willpower. Under the general heaviness you may end up feeling, you are certainly not stuck. In fact, you may see that if you choose a worthwhile direction to set yourself, things will move swiftly. Again, you aren’t without hope where you are. If you’re feeling particularly stuck, fill up on love where you receive it until it sets your head straight again.

[deadlymistletoe]

All Grown Up

Pairing: Thranduil x F!reader

Genre: Emotional hurt/comfort

Description: When you receive a letter stating your son’s intentions to join the Fellowship of the Ring, you’re understandably distressed, but Thranduil is always there to talk you through it, important meetings or not.

Warnings: None

Word count: 999

The letter fluttered from your fingers, falling to the ground where you stood in the center of the chambers you shared with your husband.

“My Lady?” You looked up through teary eyes at Galion who was still standing in the doorway from where he had passed you the letter.

An alarmed look came over his face at the sight of his queen standing with shaky hands, tears in your eyes as the letter from the Prince settled on the ground at your feet.

You shook your head, unable to form words as the words in your son’s handwriting flashed through your mind.

The one ring… destroy it… a journey… Fellowship of the Ring… pledged my bow… I’m sorry… do my best to come back… forgive me

As your breath hitched and the tears began to fall Galion took half a step towards you, before reconsidering and backing towards the door.

With a quick mutter of “I’ll fetch the King.” he hurried through the halls towards the council room. 

When the letter addressed to you and the king had arrived he’d recognised the Prince’s handwriting and taken it straight to you, both not wishing to interrupt the meeting the king was in and knowing you’d appreciate hearing from your son as soon as possible.

Galion had assumed Legolas was writing to let you know he was on the way home. Judging by your reaction, that was not the case.

While he didn’t like to leave you alone in such a state, he knew Thranduil was the only one who would be able to console you.

It had always been that way. Thranduil was the only one who could get through to you when you were deeply upset or angry, and you were the only one who could calm Thranduil down when he was in a rage.

Galion didn’t bother speaking with the guards posted just outside to request entrance, but rather gave a short, sharp knock and pushed open the doors despite the guard’s protests.

He hesitated when he saw the king and his advisers looking at him in both surprise and annoyance.

Thranduil raised an eyebrow. “Galion, what is the meaning for this interruption?”

“My king… I apologize…” He shot a glance in the direction of the advisors before deciding to ignore their presence and met the king’s steely gaze. “The queen is… distressed… I believe she may appreciate your presence.”

Before Thranduil could say or do anything, one of the advisers who had never seen the marriage between you and Thranduil as anything more than political alliance scoffed. “As if that is a reason to interrupt what is private, important, business! Be gone! Let us continue this! A queen shouldn’t need to interrupt council meetings because she can’t keep herself together!”

However, the ellon froze when he met Thranduil’s gaze. The blonde’s eyes were narrowed, cold and furious and he looked at the advisor in what could only be described as disgust and contempt. “I dearly hope you aren’t implying that my wife’s feelings aren’t important, because I, for one, would hate to have to remove your rank in this council because of your slander against the queen and her welfare.”

Thranduil stood from his seat, sparing the elf one last look of disgust as he swept from the room, beckoning Galion to follow him. “Consider this meeting over.”

It was only moments later that Thranduil swept into your chambers, closing the door and leaving Galion outside.

All he had gotten out of Galion was that Legolas had sent a letter that had apparently upset you.

And now he could see that ‘upset’ was an understatement. Between Galion leaving and Thranduil arriving, you had sunk to the floor beside the letter, clutching it in one of your hands, the other wrapped around yourself as you rocked slightly on the spot, tears still carving their way down your cheeks as you bowed your head.

You startled at the touch of a hand resting on your shoulder before you blinked and recognised the familiar shade of golden hair through your tears.

You leant into the embrace as he knelt on the ground with you, arms around you.

You sniffed as he pried the letter from your fingers to read himself. “He’s gone.”

Thranduil set the letter aside, tightening his grip on you as he began combing his fingers through your hair. “Only for a while. He’ll be back. We’ll see him again.”

You pushed your husband away just enough to look at him properly. “You don’t know that! He’s going to Mordor! No one comes back from Mordor!”

Thranduil let out a shaky breath, and you realised that he was just as worried as you, the shine of tears visible in his usually cold eyes.

“No, I don’t know. But we have to trust him, trust he will come back to us.” 

You sighed, leaning back into Thranduil. “I didn’t think it was going to happen so soon. Logically, I know he’s an adult, has been for a while now… but…”

Your husband finished your sentence for you, “You weren’t ready for him to grow up. He was always our little leaf, never straying far from Mirkwood unless he needed to. Now he’s throwing himself headfirst into a danger that rivals that of our forest by far.”

You nodded into his shoulder, and he continued. “But he did grow up, and we can’t stop him from making his own decisions.”

The two of you remained on the ground, arms around each other as you tried to come to terms with your son’s decision.

You felt Thranduil smile slightly as his lips moved next to your ear. “I could always give him a night in the dungeons when he comes back. It’s the least he deserves for distressing his mother so much.”

And you laughed, because he would come back. Your son had grown up a survivor in a dark world, and now, all grown up, he would continue to survive.

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@fizzyxcustard @bookworm-with-coffee

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[mazes-and-the-madness]

FAMILIA: A Camren Analysis

Hey everyone, I’m back with another Camren lyrical analysis. I didn’t expect my PRELUDE post to take off the way that it did, so why not also write one for Familia? First off, I just want to say a few things about the album.

I LOVE Familia. It has zero skips- not a single one. It’s by far the most listenable of Camila’s albums in the sense that I can put it on and just vibe to the music. The majority of Camila is sad breakup songs, and Romance is such an emotional roller coaster of “I hate you, I love you, I hate you again, also let’s get married.” For this reason, I’ve only listened to it twice all the way through from start to finish in the 2+ years it’s been out. Don’t get me wrong, I love songs that get me in my feelings, but can’t listen to a whole album of them on repeat. Overall, my ranking of Camila’s albums is 1. Romance 2. Camila 3. Familia, though I really do love them all.

Compared to Camila’s other albums, Familia possesses certain standout qualities. As always, Camila impresses with her vocal talent, and in my opinion, Familia has the best production of all her albums. But I feel like lyrically, this was her weakest album. That’s not to say the lyrics were bad by any means, just that there were no songs on Familia that could compare to Living Proof, Used to This, and of course, Consequences.

Still, Familia is Camila’s most mature album yet. Just like several other artists, she predominantly writes about love and romance, but now dares to explore edgier topics on Familia, such as politics and gender equality (Lola) and her mental health and anxiety (psychofreak). Camila’s music has previously incorporated Latin influences, but in Familia she fully embraces the Spanish language and Latin pop, a genre which suits her quite well. Take notes, Yogurt King: this is how to evolve as an artist instead of just doing the same thing over and over. 

Speaking of the circus, I knew it would feature throughout this album. I feel like for Romance, Camila wrote her truth and her team tried to make the songs about “Shawn,” but due to narrative and timeline inconsistencies, this explanation was like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Unfortunately, this time around it looks like Camila had to write some songs specifically FOR the PR. On Familia, we get some stunt lyrics on songs like Boys Don’t Cry and everyone at this party, and full-on stunt songs like Bam Bam and (maybe) Celia. I didn’t love the PR aspect of the album, but you can’t deny they’re good songs. 

I also think that Familia is her straightest album yet. Even if you had no idea who the hell Lauren Jauregui was, you could tell that a lot of songs on Camila and Romance were extremely queer-coded (Shameless, Liar, Señorita). Since there’s none of that on Familia, we have to rely on our own knowledge as Camila’s fans to do a queer analysis of this album because sadly, not everything can be as obvious as “mmm green eyes,” “black leather jacket,” or “La Cienega, where I remember you.” I’m not saying that these songs are definitely 100% ~no doubt~ about Lauren- just that if they are, here’s how I see them fitting into the Camren saga. 

1. La Buena Vida/Don’t Go Yet

The weird thing about Camila’s explanation for Don’t Go Yet is that in a Genius interview, she said that the song was mostly from SHAWN’S perspective. This doesn’t make sense for a couple of reasons. One, he had a different girlfriend at the time. Two, Camila and Shawn were never in a real relationship. Even if we assume that they were, would she have us believe that Shawn was the one who “wore this dress for a lil’ drama?” I mean, maybe if it was giving Cher… Anyway, just hear me out. *puts on clown costume* *applies clown makeup* *laces up clown shoes* What if… she wrote the song from Lauren’s perspective? 

Think about it. Lauren said Expectations was about a partner having zero time for her because of work. In La Buena Vida and Don’t Go Yet, Camila sings from the perspective of someone who’s facing this exact same problem. Between Cinderella, Familia, and carrying Yogurt King’s career, Camila’s schedule has been booked and busy for the past 2+ years, and it’s only natural for Lauren to feel neglected. If this theory is right, Camila writing Don’t Go Yet and La Buena Vida shows us that Camren has grown up and can now have a mature conversation about their problems. Camila going from struggling with serious communication issues to writing a song from Lauren’s perspective to truly show that she understands her emotions? Now that’s what I call character development.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“I’m alone on my sofa bed” (LBV, Camila) // “up in bed, all alone, wondering where you’ve been” (Expectations, Lauren)

“why am I home alone with your glass of wine?” (LBV, Camila) // “I’ve been waiting here all night for you to warm me up and you haven’t once thought of me” (Expectations, Lauren)

“finally we’re here, so why sayin’ you got a flight, need an early night? no, don’t go yet” // (DGY, Camila) // “you should be here, should be with me tonight, ‘stead you’re working, you’re working all the time” (LBV, Camila) // “knowing very well that you told me you’d come home, and it happens every time” (Expectations, Lauren)

“I don’t wanna be the one making plans all the time, asking you what’s on your mind” (LBV, Camila) // “all I need from your side is for you to communicate” (Expectations, Lauren) // “you got a lot on your mind that you wanna say, but you haven’t made the time to communicate” (Let Me Know, Lauren)

Come on, such blatant parallels are essentially plagiarism on Camila’s part.

2. Quiet

Because of the production and the lyrics, I view this song as a more upbeat version of Dream of You and All These Years combined. While waiting for Lauren to come over, Camila’s mind is racing with nerves, anxiety, and insecurity, but all these negative thoughts and feelings disappear once they’re finally together. Sure, she said “boy,” but that doesn’t bother me at all. Camila has used male pronouns in the past, but the lyrics somehow always fit Lauren better than any of Camila’s public boyfriends. Quiet closely parallels All These Years,  a song which is impossible to connect to Shawn (again, for narrative and timeline reasons). And I know I’m not the only one who instantly connected “back of the car” to the London car kiss. Finally, let’s be real: no straight woman is this obsessed with their partner’s hands, and the word “gorgeous” suits a woman much more than a man.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“did you get taller? your hair is longer, couple tattoos since I saw ya” (Quiet, Camila) // “your hair’s grown a little longer, your arms look a little stronger” (All These Years, Camila) 

“my mind’s made so much noise for so long and it’s gone ‘cause when you kiss me, it’s quiet” (Quiet, Camila) // “you take the psycho out of my brain” (No Doubt, Camila) // “feeling like a psychofreak sometimes” (psychofreak, Camila) 

3. Boys Don’t Cry

As @emisonme so wisely said, just remove the male pronouns and the overall song is about desperately wanting your partner to open up to you. Like I said in my PRELUDE analysis, Camila has written multiple songs begging Lauren to open up (Inside Out, In the Dark, Shameless), and BDC is no different. When Lauren is struggling, she has a tendency to shut Camila out, but all Camila wants is for Lauren to just tell her what’s wrong so she can help, just as Lauren has done so many times for her. For fuck’s sake, Lauren’s the firstborn daughter in an immigrant family. If I had to guess, she was most likely conditioned for years to shove aside or deny her own feelings altogether so as not to be a “burden” to anyone. Although Familia is largely about Lauren helping Camila heal from her own trauma, Camila finally has the chance to return the favor in BDC. Regardless of who the song is about, the message of BDC is highly important, and I’m glad Camila included it on the album.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“I know you got demons from the past slowin’ you down-down-down” (BDC, Camila) // “show me your demons, and I’ll show you mine” (Living Proof, Camila) // “tear-stained face, I can’t face these demons all alone, they don’t like me” (Scattered, Lauren)

“when I’m afraid of the world, when every part of me hurts, you don’t know how many times you’ve saved me” (BDC, Camila) // “where did you come from, baby? and were you sent to save me?” (Living Proof, Camila)

“you’re just human right now” (BDC, Camila) // “ ‘cause I’m only human” (Falling, Lauren)

“so why you hidin’ from me, it’s only makin’ it worse” (BDC, Camila) // “and I don’t know why I always try to hide it, oh I can’t fight it any more than you can” (Falling, Lauren)

“When I’m afraid of the world, when every part of me hurts, you don’t know how many times you’ve saved me” is exactly how I feel about the Camren girls, and I’m sure many of you can say the same.

4. Hasta Los Dientes/No Doubt

These two songs could be about the Laucy situation in 2015-2016. In Hasta Los Dientes, Camila is crazy about Lauren, but can’t stop thinking about her with Lucy even though she knows the PR stunt is fake. We all know that both Camren girls are the jealous type, and Camila has zero desire to share Lauren. Not with any of her PR boyfriends, and definitely not with Lucy, who because of this song I now believe had some sort of romantic history with Lauren. Although Camila understands that Laucy is the best way to bring Lauren out of the closet without exposing Camren and tanking Camila’s soon-to-be solo career, it hurts her to know that Lauren is hanging out with her ex. At the end of the day, Camila knows that Lauren is still hers, and has every intention of ensuring that Lucy knows the same.

No Doubt has Camila obsessing over the possibility of Lauren genuinely falling for Lucy, especially given their history and how Lucy probably had a crush on Lauren at the time of the song (I mean, who wouldn’t?). But just as in Quiet, all these doubts, fears, and insecurities disappear the second Lauren touches Camila, with Lauren making sure Camila knows just how loved she is. Compared to how Camila has sung about Lauren’s commitment issues in the past (Should’ve Said It, Feel It Twice, This Love, Señorita), No Doubt marks a clear turning point in their relationship with Lauren proving that she is fully committed to Camila and only Camila. 

Lyrical Parallels:

“hasta dormida te imagino con ella” / “even when I’m asleep, I imagine you with her” (HLD, Camila) // “seeing visions on the ceiling, drunken kisses, heavy breathing, you’re up against the wall, she’s unbuttoning your jeans and you tell her that you want it all” (No Doubt, Camila)

“no es tu culpa lo que me hace sentir” / “it’s not your fault what you make me feel” (HLD, Camila) // “you’re not guilty, I’m hyper vigilant” (No Doubt, Camila)

“you take the psycho out of my brain” (No Doubt, Camila) //  “feeling like a psychofreak sometimes” (psychofreak, Camila) // “my mind’s made so much noise for so long and it’s gone ‘cause when you kiss me, it’s quiet” (Quiet, Camila) 

“and I can see it in your eyes when you slow down” (No Doubt, Camila) // “dale lento, tócamela más lento” / “go slow, touch me more slowly” (Lento, Lauren)

“I’m getting bad again, ‘cause when shit is getting good I just spiral into bad again” (No Doubt, Camila) // “you tell me that I overthink ‘til I ruin a good thing” (Easy, Camila)

5. Lola

I believe Camila’s explanation that this song is about a woman unable to follow her dreams due to the oppressive country she’s from, but that won’t stop me from drawing all the parallels to Lauren. First off, Lauren’s family and close friends sometimes refer to her as “Lolo.” Camila, you really think you’re slick by changing just one letter? Now let’s get into the actual lyrics.

1. “Lola was the smartest in the school, she was a supernova”

Lauren not only attended the elite private high school Carrollton School of the Sacred Heart on an academic scholarship, but she also maintained a 5.2 GPA, played on the varsity softball team, and wowed everyone with her musical talent. Damn, some people really are God’s favorite.

2. “she had a mind beyond her time, it was a thrill to know her”

How many times has Camila said the thing she loves most about Lauren is her mind (and vice versa)?

3. “she coulda walked on the moon, yeah, she coulda found us a cure // but family didn’t have no food and she had to leave school to work”

While Lauren’s family was by no means destitute, she and the other 5H girls largely came from working-class backgrounds. Lauren and Camila have even said that for them, college was out of the question without a scholarship. This is a big reason why Simon Cowell was able to exploit the girls so easily and get them to sign those unjust, restrictive, inhumane recording contracts, since he knew it was practically their only chance at a better life.

4. “Lola, she believed the world they promised her, now she’s older… nothing changes, this ain’t the dream they sold us” 

Here’s a Lauren quote from Billboard’s interview of 5H in May 2016: 

“They sell you this ­present of rainbows and butterflies, and as a 16-year-old that’s what I bought. It’s why I did X Factor and why I ended up in a group. But then you’re working so hard, so young. [Meanwhile] my friends are in college, ­telling me about their days and what they’re studying. You’re having to put on a smile on a red carpet. It’s like, ‘Who am I? Am I for myself or for this?’ ” 

Naive, optimistic sixteen-year-old Lauren happily signed that X Factor contract dreaming of fame, success, and superstardom, but had no idea about the long hours, insane schedules, nonstop recording/promo/touring, anxiety, depression, online hate, drug abuse, PR nonsense, forced closeting, and so much more that she was in for.

5. “nobody’s listening, so she won’t speak, won’t speak // all of those dreams are fading slowly, slowly… it’s just the way it is, so don’t speak, don’t speak”

Remember that leaked audio from December 2016 where Lauren says, "They're making decisions on a regular basis to fuck us over! To make us literal slaves! Literally slaves, Ally. We're doing fucking labor every day and we see nothing!" Because the industry doesn’t see Lauren as anything other than a money-making machine, she has no one to turn to when she’s struggling. Even if she tries to call out the ruthless industry executives, what can she do? They have all the power and she’s just some kid. So Lauren begins to doubt her talent as an artist and her self-worth as a person, questioning why she ever wanted this life in the first place.

The beauty of art is that it can be about multiple things at once. I wouldn’t be surprised if Camila’s explanation for the song was true, but she also drew inspiration from Lauren and her experiences.

6. everyone at this party

This song could have taken place after the Camren breakup in late 2016 or early 2017, shortly after Camila left 5H. I believe Camila initiated this breakup herself, partly because of the whole “I love you, but I love me more” scene in the Havana music video. Still, she can’t help but worry that Lauren has already moved on and no longer needs Camila in her life. “Did we waste two years?” could be referring to 2015-2016, Camren’s first attempt at an actual relationship after Lauren had finally accepted her sexuality and was willing to be with Camila for real. By all indications, this was still a dark time for them, inspiring songs like Expectations, Sorry, Consequences, and Something’s Gotta Give. In eatp, Camila searches for Lauren at every party, but ultimately knows that no one else will ever compare. 

Lyrical Parallels:

“and I just had this vision of you looking at me different when you saw this dress” (eatp, Camila) // “baby, don’t go yet, ‘cause I wore this dress for a lil’ drama” (Don’t Go Yet, Camila)

“and I’m having these thoughts, did we fuck it up or not, did we waste two years?” (eatp, Camila) // “it's already been two years, and I don't feel that you trust me like you should” (Sorry, Lauren) 

“and did you get the space you needed?” (eatp, Camila) // “respect for my time, respect for my space, respect for my energy” (Expectations, Lauren)

Final Rating: 7.5/10

Final Ranking*

11. Don’t Go Yet 

10. Bam Bam

9. La Buena Vida

8. Hasta Los Dientes

7. Lola

6. Celia

5. everyone at this party

4. Boys Don’t Cry

3. Quiet

2. No Doubt

1. psychofreak

*I excluded the intro, Familia, since that was just an instrumental track.

[tteokdoroki]

broken beauty | k.bakugou

⇝ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.

⇝ word count: 2.1K

⇝ rating: for everyone.

⇝ genre: pro hero!au, model!au, angst.

⇝ summary: katsuki bakugou had never given you a reason to feel insecure, but when the distance between your worlds finally dawns on you, you feel yourself begin to break.

⇝ warning(s): please read ! heavy angst, no happy ending, mentions of insecurity, self doubt, emotional distress and bakugou cursing again.

⇝ author’s note(s): hello everyone, i hope you’re all doing well and keeping safe during this time, this one-shot is a request from @yourlocalbabybird​​​ !!! i hope the angst is heavy enough for you heh, i tried my best so i hope you enjoy. thank you for all the love on my blog. also i tried a new banner style which i like a lot :(

with everything going on recently i’ve found this carrd to help us all stay educated and mindful of others <3

⇝ masterlist | requests

bakugou had never given you a reason to feel insecure.

through your entire relationship, all you’d ever received from him was love— while it might not have been through grandest if gestures and shouting it from the rooftops, he showed you through lingering touches, soft kisses— dates on the rooftop and under the sunrise with hazy eyes and linked fingers. you were his world and he was yours, no relationship you’d ever had, felt as tight and secure as the one yourself and katsuki shared.

but that didn’t mean, you didn’t feel insecure by your own accord.

‘it’s just a modelling gig, nothing more, nothing less.’ is what you have to remind yourself while you sit behind the scenes on the set of bakugou’s latest shoot. your boyfriend is not a model per say, but fashion designers love a pro hero with good looks and a popular rank amongst the people; not only does it boost their brand but it’s often a good PR move on behalf of the heroes. a win win situation for all, including your boyfriend. bakugou is hot, you know that, he knows it and god so does the rest of japan— so it’s only natural that the top brands would want him splayed out on the cover of next month’s vogue magazine.

you’re proud of him, really, with your boyfriend right on track to become the next number two— you’re happy that he’s got the chance to experience an opportunity like this...but you can’t help but watch with burning eyes and a strained heart as he poses for the camera with her. ochako uraraka is no more of a model than your precious katsuki; but she is also sweet,  gorgeous and a pro hero like himself. and unlike you, they had known each other since high school, being on the same hero course and all— but being a hero wasn’t an option for you, growing up quirkless you had forced you to choose a quieter route in life and whereby you opened up your own little cafe, so it was by chance that you’d even met your boyfriend.

everything was by chance. meeting bakugou, falling for bakugou, loving bakugou. but the world would never know of you, having a quirkless girlfriend could severely damage your lover’s reputation and rank on the charts— so of course, ochako would have been the next best choice to replace you by his side on the cover.

at the time, when plans for the shoot had first been revealed, you had been okay with it. bakugou had made sure of that, he would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with or that exceeded the bounds of your relationship, and the fairytale theme certainly didn’t bother you back then. but now; upon seeing the shirtless dragon king and barley clothed princess set up they had going for the two, you fee bile rise up in your throat and uncomfortable churning in your stomach— a sense of jealousy directing itself at the girl who had her hands all over your boyfriend, merely for the purpose of a photoshoot.

you hate the way they look at each other, as if they belong together— ‘it’s just acting.’ you tell yourself as bakugou lifts the brunette into his arms behind the camera, her dainty fingers splayed out against the caramel of his chest and the look in her eyes writes words of love. you shouldn’t be mad, upset or angry. it’s just his job, but you can’t help but feel that maybe bakugou would be better off with her instead of you.

ochako and bakugou, yn and bakugou. your mind had made itself up, it knew which one sounded better—the one where you weren’t included. the two would make sense together, both stunning pro heroes on the way to becoming the top, while you were just an ordinary girl with an ordinary life. clutching at your chest, you give bakugou a weak smile while he waves to you between pictures, blinking away tears you didn’t realise had formed.

“okay,” the shoot director claps, fixing the cape drapes neatly across the blonde’s shoulders. “i want you guys to look at each other; like you’re about to kiss— can you do that? and it’ll be the last shot for the day.”

your heartbeat stops in its tracks while blood rushes through your ears, the sound tuning everything out but that of katsuki’s voice. “i think we can do that.” is all you manage to make out before you jump to your feet and make a dash for the bathroom. you can no longer take being in a room with them both, the insecurities in your mind eating you alive.

you don’t bother to look back when you hear bakugou call your name, you don’t think you can handle seeing them together for a moment more.

“yn, baby...are you in here?”

chewing on your bottom lip, you do your best not to make a sound as the door to the bathrooms slams open so hard it almost hits the next wall. you knew it’d only be a matter of time before bakugou started searching for you, but then again you’d only been hidden away in the toilet cubicle for about fifteen minutes.

without a response, katsuki starts to check each cubicle next— growing more and more desperate by the second. you know he hates seeing you sad, it lifts your heart, only just, to know that the cares but the way you feel can’t be helped and couldn’t be for the longest time. you paw at your cheeks where tears have seared a pathway down them, trying to cover up any evidence of your emotions as your boyfriend approaches your cubicle.

the explosive blonde stops right outside of yours, his boots appearing in your view just underneath the door. “yn, i know you’re in there,” he mumbles simply after attempting to push open the door, voice so quiet you would have missed him if you weren’t hyper aware of his presence. it’s locked, of course. “come out and let’s talk, yeah?” 

“can’t,” you whisper, moving to hug your knees whilst sitting on the toilet seat, as if that’s going to hide you away from the world.

“baby is this about the last shot? i swear i wasn’t thinking about what the director said— just wanted to get us home, you’ve been waiting for me all fuckin’ day...”

you hear bakugou sigh and lean against the door, an attempt to gather his feelings and words before talking again. you hate that you’re so insecure, at no fault of bakugou’s but simply because of your nature— you hate that the way you think could cause such a rift between yourself and the man you love. that’s why you had to do this.

but your lips move before your mind can catch up, whispering the questions that plague your thoughts and make you feel sick to the stomach. “would you have done it? kissed ochako for the shoot if i hadn’t been there?” the raging green of jealousy and fear swirl in the depths of your head, practically swallowing you whole throughout katsuki’s silence. was she prettier than you? did he like her too?

“fuck no... baby, god no—where is all of this coming from?”

you ignore his question and answer with another. “then, are you attracted to her?”

“not in the way that i am to you, yn there’s no one fucking else for me except for you. shit. will you tell me what’s going on now? let me in.” katsuki practically begs through the closed door, you can tell he’s leaning against it from how close he sounds. deep down, you know that everything you say hurts the blonde just as much as it hurts you— you don’t want him to be in pain alone and yet you’re not quite ready to face him. so instead, you slip to the floor and hold your hand out from underneath the door, waiting for your lover to take it. it’s not long before your palm is engulfed by a familiar hold and sense of warmth, and you almost smile at how quickly the pro is to grab your hand. “please come out, honey bear. tell me what you’re feeling. is it ‘cause of the shoot?”

you shake your head once before realising he can’t see you and squeeze his hand instead— milking the silence for a moment more, in order to think. to think about how you’re going to tell your charming,  wonderful, amazing boyfriend that you can’t be his girlfriend anymore. that you’re from two separate worlds, in which his beats you down and makes you feel so insecure that you can’t stand back up without his help. how do you tell him without blaming him? how do you try without hurting him? “it wasn’t the shoot, katsu...” you start, that your voice trembles from the get go. it was never about the shoot. “katsu... you know i love you right?”

“of course, i love you too.” i hope you do.

“then, please understand...” i’m sorry.

“understand what, yn?” that i can’t stay.

“please understand why i can’t be with you anymore.” you breathe, leaning back against the cubicle wall as the sob that’s been building up in your chest finally breaks free.

for a second, you think bakugou will yank his hand away, tell you that he’s relieved and leave you there heart broken but to your surprise; he grabs onto you tighter— pressing himself against the cubicle even more as if he could phase right through and pull you into his arms. “you want to leave me—?” the explosive hero asks more so to himself than to you and you hate to imagine the pained confusion that now sits heavily in his vermillion eyes. “yn, please wait—“

“katsuki,” you cut him off with a heavy sigh and watery eyes, every fibre in your being is telling you not to do this— but for the sake of both you and your lover, you really have no choice. you need to get better, you want to start feeling good about yourself again but to do that you need to let go of him and your relationship so you have room to grow. “baby, i just want you to know that you’ve never done anything to make me insecure about this relationship or about myself; but when it does happen— when i do get insecure...i feel myself begining to break...” you turn your head to press it against the door; feeling bakugou’s warmth radiate through it. “we’re from two different worlds, katsu; and i simply don’t have a place in yours... you’re a pro hero and i’m the quirkless bland girlfriend who can’t be seen with you because of who you are—“

this time, the blonde interjects— slamming his fist against the door so hard that it makes you jump. “then...then fuckin’ be seen with me, i don’t give a crap about what my publicist says. not when you feel like that about yourself,” you see bakugou’s resolve crumbing even when you physically can’t. you don’t know what hurts more. “i need you here, with me, please—“

another squeeze to your hand, another silent plea. “katsuki, i’m so tired of looking down on myself too, i don’t want to feel bad because of the worlds we’re in and who we are but...” you falter as you hear you boyfriend finally crack through the shaky breaths he exhales on the other side. “but, i need to get better, for me, for both of us...i have to let us go.”

silence crackles through the air in the bathroom, heavy with pain unlike the usual comfortable ones you share together— where nothing else matters on the world aside from the love you have together. prying your hand from bakugou’s death grip, you stand up to wipe at your tears stained cheeks and sore eyes before unlocking the door to your cubicle. the blonde sits on the floor opposite you, still in the outfit the stylists had spent ages dressing him in hours before. only this time he’s there with a dark storm cloud sitting heavily over his precious heart.

vermillion eyes find yours, tired and broken beyond belief and you figure that you probably look the same. but still, bakugou smiles and opens his arms out for to ease your way into. “you’ll come back to me, right?” he almost whimpers when you finally relax into his chest, clinging onto his arms as if he’ll disappear. you know he understands, he doesn’t want to see you suffer anymore.

“i always will.”

you don’t know how long you spend holding each other from that moment on, in a quietness that speaks volumes of goodbyes and i love yous. all you know, is that your heart will always belong to katsuki bakugou long after this day; a broken beauty and all.

some more helpful links about recent events:

educate yourself carrd

issues going on in the world carrd

blm carrd

[algumaideia]

SJM treatment of Tamlin and why it is wrong

You know, she treated Tamlin so bad that only because of that I became his stan. That is literally the only reason why I am pro Tamlin. Just that. 

First, Tamlin did abused Feyre and Lucien in the second book. This is a fact. So don’t say that I’m here trying to appologize an abuser because I’m not. Actually the story that I wanted for Tamlin is that Feyre kicks him and go do whatever because I don’t care about her, Tamlin feels sad then goes after her, she says how bad he was and etc, Tamlin feels depressed because he realizes she is right, Lucien brings the Tamlin out of his depressive state through the power of friendship, Tamlin tries to be a better person, Tamlin becomes Tarquin’s friend, they both rebuild their court together. You see, my character arc for him has a part where he acknowledge he was being abusive(something that Rhys never did cof cof).

Anyway let’s start with why SJM treatment of Tamlin was wrong. 

I don’t know if my post needs it, but just in case. TW: abuse, ptsd, trauma, depression, sjm bad writing.

Ptsd, trauma and abuse

You know, at the same time that I know Tamlin’s abuse was wrong and horrible I also want to ignore it because, besides the negligence, it was just bad writing. What do you mean by bad writing? Well, let’s compare Tamlin’s ptsd with Kaz and one of my main characters. Why am I going to compare ptsd when I am talking about abuse? I am going to do so because Tamlin’s abuse is caused by his ptsd. Other point, I know it is imature, but I’m very insecure about my writing and compare SJM writing with mine makes me feel better. I’m sorry about that.

Kaz passed through a horrible experience and because of that he has extreme touch aversion. But the trauma and ptsd didn’t change his personality, they weren’t responsables to make a good kid become a rough boy that is the leader of a gang. The circunstances did it (I haven’t read the second book yet, no spoleirs). Of course that the trauma changed the way he interacted with people but what made him change was the fact that he was a lonely child with a heart full of hatred and desire for vengence living in a place full of thieves and gangs. Now Jafari, my main character, also lived a traumatic experience. He has nightmares, triggers and intrusive thoughts. However, the “basis” of his ptsd is that he ignores and avoids his emotions, his grief and his trauma. He doesn’t like conflicts, he is passive, he doesn’t deal with things, he just let things solve themselves. And that’s why his ptsd is based on him avoiding dealing with what happened and trying to process what happened. 

Tamlin’s abuse and ptsd is based on three things: anger, neglect and being controlling. To be fair the neglect and controlling part makes sense, but I still have problems with them. Now the anger is so weird. I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but during all the time Tamlin was UTM he had control over his actions and feelings. Amarantha wanted to hurt him by hurting his love and his friends, she was also problaby sexually assalting him. Tamlin saw Feyre being tortured, suffering and being sexually abused and he never showed any reaction because he knew if he did that Amarantha would make everything worse for her. Considering that how his ptsd and abuse is he having no control towards his anger? It makes no sense. 

In the first book Lucien insults and makes fun of  Tamlin all the time and Tamlin has no problem with it. Not only that but his court has no ranks, not like Rhys’ court cof cof. But now Lucien can’t give him even a suggestion that he is almost killing his only friend who survived during Aramanthas reign? Sigh That’s my problem with Tamlln being a control freak. And I aslo have the feeling that SJM only put it so then Rhys could say it is your choice all the time. 

About the neglect, Tamlin was trying to rebuilt his court, was dealing with his trauma and there was also the fact that Feyre wasn’t safe since other High Lords would be mad with her for having their powers. Tamlin neglecting Feyre is logical. But people forget that Feyre was also neglecting Tamlin. As I said I don’t remember Acotar pretty well but I think that Tamlin asked how Feyre was at some point, but Feyre never did that. She was all: ohhh Tamlin knows that I am throwing up and having nightmares why he does nothing? Tamlin isn’t sleeping well too, but he never asks me how am I doing. You want to blame Tamlin for his negligence towards Feyre? Good, do it, you are right. But Feyre did the same thing. She NEVER EVER even thought to ask if Tamlin was okay, or acknowlegded that he was also suffering. 

At least Tamlin tried to communicate with her, Feyre never did that. For example he gave her paints so then she could start painting again. And this was good, Feyre was depressed and that is why she didn’t painted. One thing that depressed people do sometimes is to avoid doing things they know will make them happy. Feyre was doing that. And this was also Tamlin trying to communicate with Feyre and she just ignored it and then was angry because he didn’t know that she couldn’t stand the color red, but Rhys knew. This is so wrong.

1. Rhys only knew that because he invaded her mind and discovered something she wasn’t confortable talking with anyone.

2. She never told about her problem with the color red with Tamlin. She never talked with him. How was he supposed to know?

3. This was the perfect opportunity to talk about that with him, but she didn’t.

Tamlin's ptsd was ignored through the whole series, he was treated as the worst person ever when Rhys who did the same things was treated as the best person in Earth and his logical actions were treated as stupid.

Tamlin’s “illogical” actions

You know, there is a lot of memes that say how Tamlin was stupid to think that Feyre would like to come back to him after spending sometime with Rhys. Yeah, how dumb! Why he would think that he love of his life would like to come back to him after being kidnapped by the guy who sexually abused her for months, the guy who joined Amarantha for no reason, the guy who has been known for torturing people and having a court full of miserable fae. Hahaha so dumb!! She even sent him a letter saying she didn’t want anything with him, and he was stupid to go after her anyway. I mean, the guy known for being a psycho that kidnapped her was also able to control minds so why wouldn’t he believe in the letter? Hahahaha. *Sigh*

A lot of people criticize Tamlin for colecting taxes in Acomaf, like how could he? People first, where do you think all Rhys money came from? His work? Second, it was the first time he did it in 50 years and he postponed it a month. He was trying to get everything back to normal. Besides taxes are an important part of a governament, it is from them that the governament can make things, like hospitals, better streets(at least they were supposed to do so). SJM didn’t make it clear what a HIgh Lord job is. She said that Tamlin job is to protect the Spring Court, but in every other moment it is implied that High Lord are likes kings so I don’t know. Anyway this makes perfect sense, congratulations to Tamln.

Then he allies with Hybern and people act like he did that to take Feyre back form Rhysand. How dumb! Hahaha. He did that to save his people. The Spring Court was in a delicated position, he lost a lot of his friends during Amarantha reign and they were problaby responsable to protect the Spring Court. The agreement would protect this people, got Feyre back and made him able to spy Hybern. And this is more than Rhys did. He only tortured people to protect a hidden city, nothing more. 

In the war meeting he had the all the right to be angry, but it wasn’t nice to say that about Feyre. I won’t say anything more because I could write a whole post about how wrong this meeting was. 

And finally he helped to resurrected Rhysand and it was put as an amazing thing. But it was nonsense. Why he helped the guy who kidnapped his love and manipulated her? Why he helped the guy who sent his love to destroy his court? Why he helped the guy who allied with Amarantha for no reason? Why he helped the guy who is known for being a monster for years? Specialy condering that this guy could get his powers. And after that Rhys decieded to visit Tamlin and make him more miserable than he already us. But that’s ok because Rhys is the best male. Not only that but Rhys now is visiting Tamlin oftenly in Acofs apparently. This makes me so ANGRY. 

This was my messy post.

Best regards, 

Me.

Ps. Sorry for writing makes sense and its variations too much, but that is because I don’t know English that well so my knowledge is very limited.