#this all nighter is starting to catch up with me. lmao

[fruitsilly]

mental a physical agony

[caramelkoo]

honeysuckle

boyfriend!jungkook, established relationship, smut

summary : according to your boyfriend, a little competition won't hurt anyone especially when the game is his favorite. Making you feel good.

warnings : mature, strong language, heavy on the smut, a little fluff thrown in there, fingering, pussy slapping, he asks for consent, they're freaky, dick piercing, ass slapping, hickeys, sex in a jacuzzi, reverse cowgirl, riding, jungkook wants oc so bad, dirty talk, he calls oc sweetheart, unprotected sex. if i missed something, do let me know.

a/n : hi my loves, here’s your promised smutty treat. tbvh that picture has not left my mind ever since i saw it lmao. I love you guys so so much. You're so loved and cherished. Please don't read this in front of your parents. also @rpwprpwprpwprw was the sweetest to ask for a tag <33 xoxo

"Oh yeah baby, just like that"

"You fuck me so good"

'Take my cock like a good slut you are"

Any other day, you're all about sex positivity and letting your body get what it wants but today of all days, your neighbors want to ruin the peace that you so desperately craved.

Your boyfriend, Jungkook had left early for a business meeting promising you to come back as soon as he gets done with it. As much as you missed him, you had felt the need to have some time for yourself. You thrive on being Jungkook's girlfriend, it's all butterfly in the stomach, princess treatment kind of love but you can't lie about wishing for some alone time just for yourself. Finally, you were getting it. You had it all planned bit by bit.

Step 1 : take an everything shower

Step 2 : cook something delicious for yourself while wave to earth plays in the background

Step 3 : read a romantasy novel you've been anticipating for a long time.

Step 4 : if sleepy, sleep. If not, take out your pink best friend from the bedside drawer and seek your pleasure listening to Jungkook's voice recording you had him record the other day. It always works.

Step 3 and you're already at the verge of giving up. It appears the people next door didn't exactly like your plan and they wanted to make you realize how lonely you are. Screaming at your face, "Haha guess who's not getting a dick". God forbid if a girl wants to have quite and peaceful night while romanticizing the shit out of it.

You slam the book on the bed and sigh. For a second you consider calling Jungkook but stop when you realize that you'll only be hindering his work. What are you even going to tell him? that you can't read because your neighbors have been fucking each other for hours now? No, that's just stupid.

Taking off your reading glasses you make your way to the kitchen. If you can't get sleep tonight, you might as well give them a tough fight. When and if they decide to let their horny asses take a break and decide to doze off, they'd catch on to the fact that there's someone next door whose mama didn't raise a quitter. Immature? you don't think so.

Once the woman's voice on the speaker alerts you that your phone has been connected, you start off with your favorite go to song when you need to cry your eyes out. "Fuck to an emotional song now" you think.

Coming in terms with the fact that you might have to pull an all nighter, you begin making coffee. The word itself brings a smile on your face. Coffee, which got you through your med school. Coffee, which got you Jungkook.

If you really think about it, hadn't you mustered up the courage to go on a solo date that day and have a coffee all by yourself you wouldn't have crossed your paths with him. It's funny actually because how many couples do actually last this long after meeting at a random coffee shop?

After dating douchebags for almost three years you had taken a break from dating all together. It was high time you focused on yourself. Honestly, it's not like they were the only one who was messed up in your previous relationships. You had some parts you had to heal as well and the moment you caught up on that, you went on a journey. Journey to self love, journey to find yourself and a journey which will leave you not perfect but healed.

As for the dimwits you dated in the past, sometimes it was "why do you always have to be like this? how much more space do you need?" or, "What do you mean you don't want to have sex right now? C'mon don't be a spoilsport".

Spoilsport, your ass.

Standing up on your tippy toes, your hands reach out for the coffee container but before you could even settle your foot down on the floor, two arms circle around your waist making you gasp in utter shock.

The need to defend yourself takes so strongly over you that you don't even turn around in order to check the person before your elbow connects with their nose.

When you finally do, you can't stop the scream from leaving your mouth. Your face all red and your eyes as big as saucers.

You panic, "JUNGKOOK?"

When you see blood oozing out of his left nostril after he lifts his face, you mentally curse your sister for forcing you to take self defense classes.

"What's with the song, sweetheart?"

"I told you you were gonna be my death someday but who knew it was gonna be tonight"

After cleaning up his nose and giving him a cup of coffee, you both were now sitting on the couch. You had turned off the music, though. God knew it was not making the situation any better.

You take a sip before speaking, "Oh, don't be dramatic. Who comes home like this and at this hour?"

"My flight was late, sweetheart. I wanted to get to you much sooner but destiny had plans--" he gets cut off as his eyebrows crease in wonder.

"What was that?"

"The neighbors. They have been going at it for hours now" you shake your head in disbelief.

"For hours? That's some stamina I must say" he breaks out in a fit of laughter as you place your cup on the table in front of you.

Turning towards him you ask, "You find this funny? I haven't been able to sleep because of them"

Your voice comes out a bit whiny and you wonder if you're acting a bit childish.

"Oh, sweetheart. How about this, I take a quick shower and we cuddle to sleep" a mixture of warmth and concern crossing his face.

Your smile is wide when you say, "I'd love that"

Jungkook finishes his coffee and pecks your lips as he saunters towards the bathroom. However, when he turns back and says the most unforeseen thing, your silly mind doesn't even think twice.

"Actually, _____. Why don't you join me?"

Bubbles form inside the jacuzzi as smoke fills your surroundings. The smell of warm water hits your nose making it feel tingly. Your stomach is doing summersaults as your boyfriend lets you down inside the water, heart skipping a beat.

Only when Jungkook lets himself sit on the other side of the tub, you can finally take a deep breath. His eyes never leaving yours. When you're with him, there's nothing you care about. Not your horny neighbors, not the world, nothing. It's just him and his presence that lights you up. A smile that could rival the sun.

Him.

Your fingers play with the water as you try to make a conversation. This moment right here, is peak level of intimacy for you. You're both naked, exposed and vulnerable yet you've never felt safer. Not to mention how you feel like a high school girl trying to talk to his crush.

When you were young, the bathroom was the only place you could run and cry in and no one judged you. The four walled room provided more comfort than people in your life. It holds memories but when you moved in with your boyfriend, you left those at your old house. To rot, because what else?

With him, every corner, every space in your house feels pure and blissful. It’s filled with laughter, moans and him.

Jungkook's legs are lightly brushing yours every now and then, the movement sending shivers down your spine. What's happening to you?

"So, how was the business trip?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how funny is it that you wanna talk about business while looking like that and all I wanna do is fuck that sweet mouth of yours because of how much I missed it?"

You shudder, the effect he has on you is beyond belief and now with the expression crossing his face, pure lust and longing, it's as though somebody has set your whole body on fire. A mix of hot and cold feeling running through your veins.

"Jungkook"

"Come here"

"Wh-"

He cuts you off, "Come here, sweetheart. Come to me before I lose my ever loving mind'

You don't have an option other than to scoot your way towards him. He positions your body between his legs, his taut and muscular chest touching your wet back.

Wetness pools between your legs as his hardness presses at your lower hip just above your ass. Your pussy throbs with need and you stop yourself from reaching down to relieve that tension.

His fingers ever so lightly graze over your arm, frequently making drawings on it.

"How long did you say they were going at it?"

You look at him, "About three hours. Why?"

He's up to something. You can feel it in your bones.

"Do you think they're still gonna be able to fuck each other after hearing your screams through the wall, sweetheart?"

Fuck. The idea of making them listen to you while your boyfriend fucks you into oblivion doesn't sound so bad. You missed him, you missed being in his arms and you missed him being inside you as well. So, where's the harm in that?

"You wanna give them a show? Let them know how well your man fucks you?"

The moan that leaves her as she lets her head fall back heavy on his chest tells him everything her words can't.

"Jungkook, please. It's been so long" she cries out.

She stirs making herself more comfortable but that just makes him hiss through his teeth as her ass grazes his cock, the metal on the tip leaving a cool sensation. He's not gonna give in easily though. He will make her earn that release.

His hands cup her tits, fully covering them and they fit so perfectly in his hands. Heavy, full, perfect. As if they're made just for him to suck, him to cup, him to cum on, him to leave purple love bites on.

"I know, sweetheart. Do you wanna know what I kept thinking about while I was away?" his voice trails off, "I kept thinking about how bad I wanna fuck your throat"

The sound that leaves her is filled with need.

"Jungkook, baby please."

He trails his hands down her chest and stomach before it reaches her pussy. Just around her clit. His finger are soft and light, not putting pressure when all she wants is for him to give her the release she so badly craves.

Jungkook's cock is already leaking with precum and his balls ache. He missed his girl so fucking much, so much that he lost count of how many times he had fucked his hand while thinking of her while he was away. When his colleagues saw his flushed face, he had no other option than to blame it on the cold weather.

His finger slide down and back up her slit, making her visibly shiver.

Shit. He's not gonna last long if she keeps making those noises.

"How many finger do you want, _____?" he asks as repeats the same motion.

His mouth comes on her in a searing kiss, it's possessive, passionate, burning and everything nasty. He's straight up claiming her mouth as her tongue tangles with his own.

Pulling back he waits for her response, "Two. Please"

Following her command, his two fingers slide inside her. He tightens the hold on her stomach to have her stay in place when she bucks her hips forward.

She screams.

"That's my girl"

He slides his finger out before sinking it deep inside her cunt again. Crooking them in such a way that he hits her g-spot. Desperate moans fill the room mixing with the steam coming out of the hot water. Her hands ghost over his, fastening his pace.

"You want it faster, sweetheart?"

"Yes, much faster. I wanna cum so bad"

Happy to give her what she wants, he begins rubbing at her clit while his other fingers work their way in and out her wet cunt.

"Oh my fucking god"

"That's right. Get what you want. Such a good girl for me"

He's an animal at this point as he tries to mark her his more than she already is. Jungkook has always been open about sex with his girlfriend, his needs, his wants, his desires and she'd done the same. You compliment each other perfectly. It's easier that way, not leaving any room for doubts.

She like dirty talk, he gives it to her.

When her hips lift forward matching his thrusts, he smirks. Biting her slender neck as she chases her orgasm.

"Aghh"

It finally happens, her hands grasp his even more tightly, other hand gripping the edge of the jacuzzi as she lets out a scream. Her breath fastens as sweat beads her forehead, Jungkook never stopping with his praises.

When she settles back down between his legs, he takes his finger out and sucks them clean. Brown eyes never leaving hers.

"Do you think they heard us, sweetheart?"

Her laughter brings smile to his face, "You're crazy"

"And you're mine" He pecks her cheek, letting his lips linger there for a bit. Basking in the feeling of her love's skin against his lips.

At the beginning of your relationship when you were just getting comfortable with intimacy, jungkook loved kissing her cheek. It was his way of showing her that she's adored by him. Then he realised that quite frankly, it's her. He likes kissing so much because it's her that he's kissing.

He holds her for a while before speaking up, "You wanna help me with a problem?"

He doesn't need to tell her twice but soon as her next words leave her mouth, he takes a double take.

"Sit on the edge and I'll suck you off" he hears her say as she kneels before him.

"Later" he grabs her by her shoulders as he positions her back between his legs. This time facing him.

Her legs wrap around his waist and his thick cock presses against her navel. He knows how badly she wanted to take him into her mouth and he could have let her do that only if he was strong enough to resist himself from sinking deep inside her.

"Now, I wanna fuck you. Raw and nice just like my girlfriend deserves" his voice comes out breathy.

"I love you"

"Me too, sweetheart. More than you know" he assures.

Knowing he can't take it anymore, he lifts her up and sits her body down on his cock. Slowly by slowly as she moans her way through it. ____'s head falls into the crook of his neck and his grip tightens on the curve of her waist. The ampallang piercing multiplies the pleasure tenfold as you both roll your eyes at the back of your head.

Jungkook got madly drunk the other day and came back with a dick piercing which resulted in her getting mad at him and him fucking her to show how good it gets with it.

Having said that, he presses a searing kiss on her lips and his breath knocks out of his chest in the process. It's almost like he's dreaming. The feel of her body on him, his cock deep inside ____, her arms caging him. It all feels surreal. At this point, the neighbors are long forgotten. It's you and him now.

He takes one of her sensitive buds in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. Moving it in circular motions.

The next few seconds involve him spanking her ass as if he wants to leave marks, him guiding her up and down his cock as she bounces and giving her frequent kisses. Wet slapping noises fill the entire room as his balls ache with need.

"So good, baby. You feel so fucking good. Wrapped around me like this while I fuck you good, huh?" he slaps her pussy lightly.

Thrust Thrust Thrust

As she falls back again into his arms, crying loudly with utter pleasure, he tightens his hold on her body. Hugging her close as both of your heartbeats sync together.

"Thank you for letting me love you, sweetheart. Thank you for coming into my boring ass life and filling it with laughter. Fuck"

Your sweaty and now tired bodies are wrapped around each other as you both revel in the warmth of intimacy.

He lets out a grown followed by her whine and before he can say anything, you’re both cumming together, sighing and kissing as you come down your high.

A chaste kiss is pressed on her forehead, "So perfect, my girl"

"That was…" you bite your lip.

"Amazing, I know" he says as he mindlessly plays with her black locks.

his hands rub her back. "Sweetheart, I want one more from you"

"One more?"

"Yeah, this time I wanna see your beautiful back. Will you do it for me?"

He tries to ask her as gently as possible. Pride filling his chest when he sees her nod.

Guiding her up with the support of her knees he sits her down on his lap, his balls brushing against her clit as he sinks back inside her. A man can only take so much before he snaps. This was the moment for him. His girl's back glistens in the most beautiful way ever. Sweat droplets mixed with water dripping down her spine that he can’t help but kiss.

"Fuck baby, you look like a goddess right now." he halts,

"So warm"

Trailing his hands up the back of her neck he threads his fingers through her hair, gripping it lightly but also putting enough pressure just so she can feel a sweet pain.

His heart skips another beat when she starts moving forward and then backwards, teasing him. Her movements are painfully slow. He wants to ask ____ to move faster but at the same time, he also wants to make this special for her.

So, he waits and watches her back arch as he feels like the luckiest man in the world.

"Jungkook" she moans his name, holding on to his thigh as he pounds into her from the back. It’s even deeper now, his cock hitting places he’d never hit before. Jungkook mentally thanks himself for trying out this new position because he’d just about take any chance to feel more connected to ____.

Just when his stomach contracts and hardens, he asks, "____ I’m gonna need you to spread those ass wider. I’m very close"

When she hums in response he gently pushes her upper body so that it’s flat on his legs, immediately letting him see more of ____'s ass. Her asshole clearly visible to him. It’s such a vulnerable position that you’re both in. Her more than him.

He has to ask her, "Sweetheart, if you don’t feel comfortable we can always stop, alright? You just have to ask"

Her whiney voice reaches his ears, "I’m okay, baby. Just- Just fuck me"

So, he does. His hips thrust forward as he fucks her mercilessly, letting her have the pleasure. She moans, he moans, she cries out, he groans. It’s unbelievably perfect. His hands roam over her smooth back, her ass and even down to her pussy. Both bodies working in a graceful sync.

Suddenly, it’s like the earth comes to a stop. His hands grip his hair while the other one grips hers. His stomach hardens, balls tightening and the moment _____ clenches around his cock, he cums inside of her. Filling her up with hot, white liquid. She follows him soon enough.

"I fucking love this body of yours"

She straightens up and lets her wet body fall heavy on his chest seeking warmth and his arms around her. He’s more than happy to do so. His muscular arms bring her closer to his chest as he relaxes.

Before the next words leave his mouth, he has to make sure ____ is sound asleep.

"I can’t wait to ask you to marry me, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you in that white dress walking towards me like the angel you are"

He hopes she says yes, he hopes the ring brings the biggest smile on her face.

He hopes.

[leafostuff]

One Heck of a Joyride[Ft. WooAh's Nana]

Word Count: 14-15K~ words

Collab with @octoberautumnbox

My Author's Notes: we are so excited to finally release this fic for yall, me and box have been working on this fic since the end of FEBRUARY (almost 3 months) and we have been working on it so hard to make it the best it can be so I really hope you will enjoy this fic

@octoberautumnbox's author notes: there u have it! took the better part of three months, but it was really fun to work on :DDDD Thanks to leafo for making sure i didn't slack LMAO

No tags since it is too long but this is fluff and smut

Thanks: of course @octoberautumnbox for working with me on this amazing collab. @4m1rz for being my lovely beta reader and @libraryoferos for being my motivation to not be lazy on this fic

And so without any further preface, let's get started, shall we?

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“And I expect you all to get along this year. Leave the past behind you as you all face a new future together.” Sporadic applause rises slowly from the crowd and dies down twice as quickly. The dean sighs away from the mic and drifts offstage, leaving everyone disinterested in the rest of the program. It all goes by in a blur, and finally ends right as the air conditioners start to fail against the heat of a summer not-yet-ended. 

Your attention is drawn away from the droning on and on from the stage and towards the many characters that populate the theater with you. You catch glimpses of people talking with their friends, a few crazy hair colours, and the occasional sleeping student who’s no doubt already saving up hours for the all-nighters to come. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone in the front row with both people sitting next to her conspicuously leaning away. They seem to want to get up and leave her there by herself, but the way she gives no reaction despite the jeering tone coming from her seatmates leads you to think that she’s asleep herself. 

~~~

“So yeah, That's the tour, bucko. Check the map if you’re ever lost.” Your student tour guide points at the multi-colored document on your phone. Vaguely you recall the various little symbols: which classrooms you can sleep in, which bathrooms are haunted, which shortcuts are best, all of the must-know basics of college life. 

As you continue scanning around the campus, the girl from the assembly catches your attention again. She has her hood up this time, but you can tell it’s her; her quick pacing and how she is not looking around at anyone making you believe that she’s trying her best to hide.

“What about that one? Do we not talk about her?” you ask, pointing at the oblivious figure walking past, drawing eyes and whispers much like your own. 

Your guide scoffs at the absurd idea. “That’s Nayeon. And no, we don’t. She fucked up last year, big time. Got a bunch of us in trouble. So stay away from her, she has those goody-two-shoes germs.” he says, walking away as while signaling you to follow him.

You wonder what she could have done to gain such a reputation. She was adorable earlier with her hood off, but the way people talk about her makes you want to steer clear against your own will. 

~-~-~-~

Curiosity ends up killing the cat, and you manage to gather bits and pieces of the incident from last year from gossip, class lore, and even the way some professors acted:

“She’s the luckiest bitch in the world with not a single shred of common sense. Seriously, who goes and rats on a hundred other students like that?”

“The test incident shows she only looks out for herself, even if it means bringing down the entire class.”

“There’s really no excuse for it. You have the answer key in your hand, of course you take a picture! You don’t just leave it where it’ll incriminate some other innocent loser and say you’re only trying to do the right fucking thing.”

The sheer number of factoids you gather from the wild bunch of sources only slightly make sense. Unfortunately, trying to piece them together only took up more space and brainpower which you should have used to study for your midterms coming up. Keep to yourself and you can just barely pass and move on; there is no time for college drama.

After the exam, you approach the professor to ask about possibly bumping up your grade. You decided to maybe half-ass an extra credit assignment and get the lowest passing score, but you resolve to just see where it goes. While lost in thought, you nearly bump into the small girl in front of you. already talking to the teacher, and by the way they’re whispering, it seems like it’s something serious. 

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to do here anymore, Miss Kwon,” the professor admits as he takes off his glasses and rubs his nose bridge. “None of this was necessary. I thought we wanted to leave all this behind us.”

Nayeon looks down to her toes in defeat. “I’m sorry, Sir. I was just thinking, maybe I’d get sent out of class this time.” Her voice cracks, giving away her vulnerable state: she’s near tears but trying to fight everything back to look tough. Sadly for her, you think, none of it is working.

“Look, just try to lay low. It’s your last year before all of this starts to not matter anymore.” Your professor finally puts his glasses back on and looks Nayeon straight in the eye. “Trust me, you’re better off keeping your head down. You’ll be fine.”

She walks despondently off to the right and out the door. Your feet choose to follow her, but a sudden jolt restores your common sense. “And you, Mister New Guy, what seems to be the problem? Beside your dismal score, that is.”

You have a slight feeling you are not getting a higher score.

~-~-~

After talking it out fruitlessly with the professor, he releases you from his classroom and you make your way out. The conversation with him didn’t take long, and so you arrive to a few jeers and muffled laughter once you step outside.

“Serves her right. Trying all this bullshit isn’t gonna change anything.” 

“Seriously, cheating on a test she obviously studied for? How dense could she be?”

“I bet she just wants to show us up. She’ll study and then cheat, then she gets perfect marks on the test and she’ll show us she’s untouchable again.” 

You find it hard to believe that Nayeon would resort to something as convoluted and pointless as that, but then again, you really don’t know her to make a judgment. Whatever she was thinking, you agree that it was idiotic to pull that sort of thing, even if you didn’t see any of it.

The weather on campus is the right mix of cloudy and sunny, with rays of light shining respectfully on the grass and pavement of your college courtyard. Something tells you that people-watching by the gym feels like the perfect lunchtime activity for a day like this, so you find your way to the properly noisy setting and look for a spot out of the way. 

You settle on a spot by the side of the gym with the perfect amount of shade and wind, but you’re instead drawn further back to the rear by strange and irregular noises. Turning the last corner, you’re met with a surprising figure.

It was Nayeon, sitting with her back against one of the walls, her entire body curled up like a ball. You slowly inch closer and closer to her, and you realize the strange noises that you heard before were instead sniffles and cries coming from the lonely girl. Finally as you get close enough, Nayeon feels your presence and raises her head.

Her eyes were full of tears, who knows for how long she had been crying, and you could feel the sadness coming from her eyes; they were trying to tell you something, however, it's hard to figure out what. Her expression of sadness didn't stay for long though as soon enough her expression turns angry when you get closer to her, squatting down to look at the girl from a closer angle.

“Please, go away. Leave me alone.” The small girl pushes you away, but with her hand preoccupied wiping away her tears, she can’t do much to get rid of you. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You have the nerve to do what you did last year and still show your face?” The anger in your voice catches you off guard. Since when did you take it personally when it came to her?

“Oh fuck off, new guy,” she taunts. “So I’m fucking hiding here, what more do you want?” She tries to act tough again, but it’s painfully apparent to both of you that it isn’t working. At this point, you really do just want to leave her alone. And just like every other time, nothing’s stopping you. So why are you staying?

You breathe a sigh of defeat at the situation you find yourself in. “Look, I don’t have any sort of beef with you personally, but come on. This is pathetic. You’re only embarrassing yourself by doing all this bullshit that isn’t like you at all.”

“And what if it’s not like me?!” Her shout sends a few birds hiding in nearby bushes to take off. This sort of language takes you aback from her; Little Miss Perfect Kwon Nayeon, top honour student, teacher’s favourite pet, hating herself? 

“I… I don’t like being me, and I don’t like what I am.” She wipes her tears again and tries (and fails) to look you in the eyes once more. “So if you’re another member of the ‘I hate Nayeon’ club, well… Better show the club president some respect.”

She sits back down with her back against the wall. Nayeon's eyes are wet for the last time before she wipes them off and faces her lack of tears.

Normally in situations like those you would just walk away and ignore people like those for the rest of the school year, but for some reason with Nayeon in front of you, showing herself being weak, fragile, and sad, something about her makes it so you can't leave the situation alone. Curiosity gets the best of you, and you have to know why.

“No,” you turn back to her as a determined expression is painted on your face.

“What?”

“I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me.” You stand your ground, arms crossed, and Nayeon can't seem to be any more pissed than before. “What is going on? What do you mean you don't like yourself?” you ask.

For a while, no one dares to speak another word, and you wonder if what you have here is an argument. For a good few seconds, she stares at you intently as silence hangs heavy in the air. 

“You think,” she says defeatedly between sniffles, “that I'm Little Miss Perfect, right? Like everyone calls me ‘the straight-A girl?’ Well I’m not, and I’m tired of everyone saying so.” She fishes out a very used handkerchief from her pocket and wipes her eyes of tears, only for them to be replaced by more. 

“It can’t be that bad, Nayeon. People look up to you, I’m sure.” You finally notice your alarms are blaring and you’re put on high alert. What you just said was the exact wrong thing to say, and you’re at critical risk of involving yourself in her messy situation more than you should.

She side-eyes you, calculating if you’re being sincere or not. She stuffs her handkerchief back into her pocket carelessly as if knowing that she’ll only pull it back out again soon. She looks down at her hands, deep in thought, looking like she’s trying to grapple with something she might regret. 

Once she’s done, she fumbles around in her backpack. She fishes out a tiny black notebook she seems to keep so well hidden, on the cover of the notebook the words ‘Nana’s Bucket List’ are scrawled in big, bold, immature-looking letters.

“Throughout all of my life, I always wanted to be the top student, the best of the best like no one ever was, and I succeeded, you know…” she scoffs. “Top marks in Elementary, Middle school, and Valedictorian in high school.” She sighs and tries to fight back more tears, though you notice she’s a bit more successful this time, with a bit of hope and yearning in her eyes.

"But on the other side… The other side seems so great. I mean, I see all these movies and books about college life," she says in between residual sobs and hiccups. She opens the notebook, showing you a not-so-long list, and even though it's hard to see the text from the small size of the writing, you can make out a little bit of what’s written on the paper.

Cheat on a test 

Get drunk

Party all night

Dye my hair

Sing in an Open stage show

Sneak into a Public pool

Shoplifting

You know...

Most of what you read makes zero sense, and you’re half-convinced this girl is just crazy. You stare at the scribbled letters, hoping to draw more meaning from them, but Nayeon shuts the little notebook in your face and starts putting it back away. 

"I want to do them all. Drinking, breaking glass bottles, partying, all that stuff," she explains dreamily. She zips up her bag and pats it down, making sure it’s secure beside her, and turns her attention back to you, “I want to live like a normal girl, you know what I mean?” she asks, you are not sure if its because of the tears, but her eyes seem to glitter.

"That's very cliche, Nana," you jab at her, making fun of the nickname she gave herself.

"That's all I know, though. Please." She takes your hand in between hers and looks up at you, teary-eyed and seemingly begging for her life.”This wouldn’t kill you, all I’m asking for is some help crossing stuff off of the list.”

You hate how well it works on you: her big, round eyes, her adorable little pout, her cute pleading voice. It goes against everything you know, and even now you’re sure you don’t want to get involved in whatever this would turn out to be. And yet, despite even the most deeply ingrained lessons you’ve learned for yourself, all it takes is a brief moment for it to come crashing down.

With a disbelieving sigh and a sense of regret creeping in, you ask: “What’s in it for me?”

~-~-~-~

You take a bite of your burger and breathe out. Cheap bun, dubious patty, artificial cheese, it all takes you back to a past life. You're left to momentarily wonder how you ended up where you are now, and slowly it comes back to you. You messed up.

"So, about the list." Nayeon sets down her cup, ice cubes clinking against each other as they swirl around her soda. "I already did one. So that’s one less thing for us to do”.

"I can do that much math, Nayeon. What do you take me for?" You chomp down on a few fries grumpily. 

"I didn't mean it like that. All I'm saying is there are just a few more months left until graduation, so we'll need to be quick. We can’t be lazy about this." She pulls out the little black notebook and flips to an unfamiliar page. The words "cheat on a test" has doodles of a devil's horns and wings and tail around it, with lots of eyes and ears decorating the rest of the ruled paper. Above it, the poster you recognize from the movie "Bad Genius" is copied, albeit crudely, in a thought bubble.

"I did this one last year, don't ask. Anyway, this next one should be easy enough." She flips to the next page, showing a couple pictures of beer cups and wine bottles, surrounding the words “Get Drunk.”

“Wait, is this the ‘incident’ people hate you for? What even happened there?” You eat more of your fries, trying to hide your curiosity. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work and she nips the conversation in the bud.

“That’s not anything you need to know. What matters is now and the future. Now are you with me or not?” She snaps the notebook closed and yanks it away from your sight, back into the pocket she keeps it in. 

“I can’t help if I don’t know what exactly your deal is,” you say disappointedly. You pick up your own drink and take a sip, and the cool soda washes over your tongue and throat on the way down. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be with everything that’s going on.”

For a moment, you catch Nayeon’s gaze on you, dumbfounded. You could almost hear the gears in her head turning as she tries to process your logic, but it takes a while. As she thinks, though, you take a particular interest in how she handles it: her mouth is hanging slightly ajar and her eyes are only half-focused on wherever they’re pointed. You notice how delicately her bangs fall on her forehead, how her eyebrows furrow and crease, how she tries finding the right words yet can’t find the message she wants to send. Odd things to notice, surely, and yet here you are. You messed up.

It starts coming back to you. The jeers from your classmates as you walk down the hall grow louder in your ears, and you fight against your hands trying to cover them with the knowledge that none of it is real anymore. The tears you fight back all the time surface for another rematch, but with your current state, you may be at a disadvantage. 

Fortunately, she shocks you back into reality. “Hey, are you listening? I’m feeding you, so the least you could do is pay attention.” She bites a small chunk of her burger and chews, and you notice how her cheeks puff slightly and the corner of her mouth is decorated with a dollop of mustard. 

Cute.

1 + 2. Get drunk + Party All Night

“God, this is stupid,” you think to yourself, exiting the convenience store. With a plastic bag in your right hand and your phone in your left hand, checking the time and the address Nayeon sent you earlier today. Finding it was easier than you expected, and you tried not to let the walk to her dorm set any expectations for you.

You bring your knuckles to the wooden door and make three quick raps. It swings open very quickly and you’re dragged into the cozy space without even the slightest chance to take off your shoes. 

“You took forever! Did you bring the stuff?” She looks all over you and pats you down, looking for what you brought her. 

“Get off, will you? I put them all in my bag like a normal person.” You swing your backpack off your shoulder and carefully place it onto a nearby table. Nayeon takes a seat and waits excitedly for what you brought for the two of you. From your bag, you produce three bottles of soju, three five-packs of Yakult, six cans of beer, and four bags of chips. She eyes each item with absolute interest as they leave your backpack, and she hardly contains herself once you finish and zip up your bag once more. 

“Okay, so how does this work?” Her eyes sparkle with wonder, and while waiting for your instructions, it was clear that as much as she was excited, she was also inexperienced.

“First off, get us some shot glasses and a pitcher. Oh, and a can opener.” Nayeon bolts off to the cooking area, and you can hear drawers opening and shutting loudly. You start getting concerned when you hear plates start to clatter against each other, but thankfully it dies down quickly and she returns with two small glasses, a decently sized pitcher, and a can opener. 

“Shit. I meant bottle. Bottle opener.” Without even a hint of annoyance, she rushes back off into the kitchen and, after a few more rummaging sounds, she returns with the correct item. She really must not know what she’s doing.

“Come on, show me!” She shoves the bottle opener into your hand, and you’re left with no choice. 

“Don’t you have a roommate we have to worry about?” You pop the cap off one of the soju bottles and then tear the aluminum top off two bottles of Yakult. “She’s out with her own friends. Hurry!” Despite her starting to get on your nerves, you pour all three into the pitcher and swirl them around together. Once you’re done, you pour the mixture into each of the glasses until they’re full. 

“Bottoms up, Nayeon.” 

“Bottoms up!”

The both of you down your drinks: yours slowly crawls down your throat, but hers disappears straight into her stomach. She reels at the burning lines left by the alcohol all over her esophagus and takes a bit of time to recover. 

“Whoa, that was,” she says, and a burp erupts from her mouth, “intense.” She sways a little bit to the left before righting herself, and then overcompensates to lean to the left again. 

“Easy there, champ. We’ve got two more bottles to go through.” You pour another shot for each of you, hers first and then yours, and raise your glass once more.

“Open the chips now,” you tell her. “This’ll be less dreadful with food.” 

Both of you down your shots at the same time, and Nayeon reels at the sensation once more. 

“Does that get easier?” Her speech is slowly starting to slur, the poor thing. “I’m kinda feeling a little something right now, too…”

“Yes, but only if you keep going at it, idiot. Don’t down everything so quickly.” Grab one of the bags of chips yourself, open and present it to Nayeon on the center of the table.

“Eat. You’ll hate this less.” You take a handful of chips and bring all of them into your mouth. Once you do, you raise your eyebrow at her to tell her to do the same.

“Isn’t… *hic* being hungry the thing for… faster drunk?” 

“Apparently so, Nayeon. I don’t even know what I expected from you.” You take another shot, alone this time. She tries to pour her own shot, but fails miserably at getting the liquid anywhere near the inside of her shot glass. It’s adorable how she tries, though.

You pour her another shot despite a small voice telling you maybe she isn’t cut out for this much in such a short time. You shove the voice aside in favor of Nayeon’s own words: “We pregame, drink a little, and then we go. Party starts at 7:30, so we leave here by 7 o’clock.” Her shot glass fills with the drink, and you place it in front of her, making sure at least to keep an eye out for what might happen next. 

She successfully picks up the glass and, sans the spills she made on the glass's way from the table to her mouth, drinks everything she could. She slams the glass onto the table in no light movement and you have a slight inkling of regret at letting her do that to herself. 

“You… We have to… Fuck.” Nayeon’s head droops and she catches her face with her hands. She may have underestimated how strong soju is, or maybe what being drunk actually does to a person. A groan emanates from behind her palms, and you notice she’s having trouble holding herself up. 

“Aren’t we going out after this? You might wanna slow down, idiot.” You pour yourself another shot and drink it leisurely. Nayeon tries leaning back onto the chair, and she finally pries her hands away from her eyes. She does a few quick blinks, and she tries to focus her sight on you. Her head sways a little bit, and it dawns on you that you may have overestimated her. 

“I’m okay… just… we have to go.” She tries to stand up, but she wobbles dangerously and you have to catch her. Dive under her and take on her weight, thankfully not too heavy, and keep her from hitting the floor. She mumbles a bit about something you can only kind of understand, but it's enough to guide your next decision.

“Forget it,” you grunt as you plop her back into her chair, “we're not going anywhere.” An exasperated sigh leaves your lungs, and you head off to the kitchen to return with a large bottle of cold water.

“No… we have to go. We'll be late.” Nayeon tries to get up again, but there's no strength left in her body. She sits motionlessly, probably thinking that she's already stood up, and it gives way to a confused look on her face as to why she's still in the same place.

You fill a proper-sized glass with water and hand it to her, which she drinks obediently. You fill her palm with potato chips which she also eats without objection. The way her jaw moves, clumsy and slow, signals a threat that she might just fall over any minute.

You move your chair to her side and sit there, allowing Nayeon to lean her head on you. Her hair covers her reddening face, and her hiccups arrive in growing force.

“If you're still in there, Nayeon,” you say quietly, “we're not going out. I can't look after you this closely at a party.” All she does to respond is nod. Her hiccups are punctuated intermittently with sniffles, which you take as a sign that she knows she has no power left to object. 

Still, you feel bad for her as her plans fall through. Despite the responsible thing to do, put her to bed and leave, you kick yourself mentally before deciding to stay anyway.

“Movies and snacks?”

~-~-~-~

Before you know it, the night goes by just as quick. You go through the list of movies she’d always wanted to watch: The Truman Show, The Great Gatsby, Mean Girls, and even then there’s still a few left on her list. You could tell she was watching properly halfway through the first, and that was the telltale sign that she’d sobered up. 

You drink a bit more with her in between movies, and she would frequently pause to get up and put on a song to dance to. “It keeps me awake,” she said, “I can’t fall asleep before the good part happens.” The songs she put on are generic pop and the kinds you skip whenever they come up, but you let it pass for tonight.

At some point, she pulls out an old Wii and challenges you to Mario Kart. “I am undefeated in this game. I’m not even that good, everyone else that challenged me just sucked.” You take her up on her offer, and the match begins. You try and almost get ahead of her in a few of the turns, but she would always take back her lead at the slightest opportunity of you hitting a wall or missing an item. And the way she glows with pride every single time she crosses the finish line before you do, the sudden brightness that fills her face when she wins race after race, the confidence it gives her that she isn’t actually the worst person in the world, all of it is a sight to behold. People may see Kwon Nayeon as an arrogant goody-two-shoes traitor, but the way you see her now is different: just someone with a past to outgrow. 

Right as the last movie’s credits start rolling, mischievous thin rays of dawn sunlight slip past the tiny gaps in the curtains. Both you and Nayeon have little energy left for anything else, and you maybe think it’s time to call it a night and go home.

“Let me walk you out,” she says while trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes for a little bit longer. You both get up and walk to the door, and as it opens your faces are flooded with a world right before it wakes. Dewdrops sit respectfully on leaves and blades of grass, birds are only starting to stretch their wings, and the crisp morning air fills your lungs with a calm grace. 

You turn back to Nayeon, who you find is still admiring the dawn, and grasp her elbow. “Sit with me.” 

You both squat down and take your seats again on her doorstep. Clouds roll in and dot the sky, wandering on the blank canvas of today, eagerly waiting for sunlight to block out. The sun peeks over the horizon and the first proper rays start to arrive, spreading warmth where they land. Nayeon meets your eyes one last time, and the pair of you find a sleepy and still a bit drunk person when you look at each other.

“Well,” you say as if it was a farewell, “good night, Nayeon. And good morning.”

“Good night,” she giggles back, “and good morning to you too.”

3. Sneak into a Public Pool

“Are you sure about this?” Nana’s tone is subdued by fear. Her voice shakes and struggles to be as quiet as possible, but at the same time you get the feeling that if you didn’t need to be quiet, she’d be yelling right now and trying to get the both of you to leave.

“Can you please shut up? I’m trying to focus!” You find the first of the pins and push it out of the way. For a moment, you lament how restricted you are: this could have been such a simple lock to break, replace even, but the girl dragging you around was deathly insistent on leaving as little damage and evidence as possible. 

“You shut up! I'm whispering here!” Anger rises in her voice, and you almost feel anger in yours too. You're able to stop it though, and you remind yourself that if ever a guard was on watch that actually cared about this place, they'd be easily outrun.

The lock presents more of a challenge than you thought; despite the agonizingly simple solution of snapping its shackle, its inner mechanisms are harder to crack for whatever reason. Taking it pin by pin is supposed to be an easy task, but the warm and humid air and the incessant nagging seem to debilitate you. It’s such a nice night out for a swim, why make this any harder than it needs to be?

After what seemed like eternity you finally manage to pick the lock, sighing in relief as the both of you head forward quietly, but cautiously looking side to side just in case. The metal-grate door swings open slowly, avoiding any creaking sounds it may make otherwise, and the both of you enter the pool area.

“I gotta say Nayeon, this went better than I thought it would,” you say, both of you looking at the rectangular box of water which unlike during the day, was completely still, no waves, no splashes, just the water. It glistened and reflected all manner of light: the pool lights above and below the water, the yellow street lamps far off on the sidewalk, and the moon overhead, singing tones of wonder and mystery to those touched by its borrowed glow.

Off to the side, you find Nayeon fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Her head whips round incessantly as she tries to keep a lookout of the surroundings rather poorly. Sigh a deep one, and finally go over and take your seat next to her. 

“Thanks… gimme a sec.” She finally grabs the hem decisively. The fabric crumples a bit under her grip and folds as it's pulled up.

You can’t help but watch as the shirt starts to leave her body, revealing a slim and toned tummy underneath. Your breath hitches as it crawls higher, reaching her face and obscuring her sight, and she inadvertently shows off a dark purple sports bra that’s… a size too small. Your gaze lingers on her cleavage and the flesh of her boobs lightly spilling out of the garment.

Nana turns around and you’re treated with the view of a beautiful back and shoulders to die for. The way her body twists and turns in the slightest ways to negotiate the shirt off of her form is the most sensual dance you’ve ever seen.

And you realize you’re staring. Fortunately for you, she doesn’t seem to notice, and she continues on to fold the shirt properly before setting it next to her sports bag. You opt not to risk staring any longer, and you decide to get rid of your own shirt. You strip quickly, and your shirt flies off approximately near Nayeon’s things in a messy pile by itself.

Sit on the edge of the pool, dip your feet into the water. There’s absolutely no reason for it to be this warm, you think, but whatever the case may be, it feels like a tea that’s just about to go cold. This, coupled with the humid air and quiet atmosphere, makes for a perfect night to spend on whatever this is with her. 

She joins you and takes her seat at the edge of the pool, and in every other situation, you’d ask her to back off a bit. Instead, as she lays her head on your shoulder and takes your hand in between hers, you lose your steel in the most important of times. 

“I’m scared.” Her eyes never leave the water, taking in the light dancing on its surface. Her face is fraught with worry, and while you know it’s for no good reason, you nevertheless try to reassure her.

“Yeah, someone might jump out of the bushes and arrest us for swimming in a swimming pool,” you say mockingly. “They’re gonna take us to court on the charges of ‘using something the way it was meant to be used’ and we’re gonna get life sentences. When we’re all old and wrinkly they’re gonna sit us in the electric chair.”

“Okay, I get your point. But still, though, I’m scared.” She grips your hand tighter, and for some reason you can’t resist her. Place your other hand over hers and try to calm her down. Nana takes a deep breath with her eyes closed, and finally looks at you with a reserved grin.

“Alright, I’m good. Let’s go.” 

You feel her hand on your back, and warmth spreads from her palm. Her smile grows just a bit wider and her eyes follow suit. Her teeth show themselves from between her lips, and you’re almost tempted to dive right in. 

Lucky for you, she helps. The hand on her back suddenly applies more pressure, pushing you to the pool and causing a splash going all directions. Collect your thoughts and raise your head above the water to see Nana, face full of laughter, right before she dives in the water with you.

It takes a second, but her head resurfaces and you find yourself relieved. She catches her breath once more, and before you know it, you're met with a faceful of chlorinated water. “What are you staring at?” She says between hearty laughs. 

Wipe the water from your face, find the humor. Laugh with her, and face her properly.

Another shade of Kwon Nayeon. Granted, it's one with no makeup and way less clothes than usual, but none of that takes away from her natural, elegant beauty. It's captivating, the way her figure glides around the water, the way the cool night air wisps around the pair of you, the way the moon throws its rays around the world, your world, so haphazardly. 

Another faceful of water, and you snap out of your daze. “Creepy ass,” she snorts happily. She splashes you again, and this time you fight back. 

“Race you around the pool.” You start paddling, and the water grows loud against your ears. She says something back to you and starts paddling herself to catch up.

“Yeah,” you think to yourself, “whatever this is with her.”

4. Sing in an Open Mic

“Another night, another goal,” you muse, sitting in your car with Nayeon in the passenger seat. It has become quite a routine that every time she wants to do something on her bucket list she asks you to pick her up. You don’t mind too much — she pays for gas after all. 

“Where do we go this time?” Nayeon just shoves her phone in your face, showing a map with directions to some bar out of town. She looks at you expectantly, but without any more information than what you’re currently getting, you’re at a loss for what she’s trying to make you see.

“A club.”

“Exactly.”

“We already did ‘get drunk.’”

“I know. This is different.”

“How so?”

“Take me here. Make me sing. Take me home.”

The pieces connect in her head and she pulls out the notebook again. She flips to a page you again haven’t seen, and when she shows it to you you’re treated to the sight of “Open Mic Stage” in graffiti-style letters and the poster of “Wedding Singer” scrawled in the bottom right corner of the page. 

“If you have the map, why not just do this yourself? You didn’t need to wait for me. If anything, I’d only laugh at how bad you might be.” You push away her phone and notebook, choosing to return your attention to the sidewalk instead. The boba tea place you keep hearing about is nearby. 

“That’s the thing,” Nayeon interjects again, “I have been there before. I listened to all the people singing, and they’re… some are good. I don’t know if I am, but I got shy at the last minute and I never even got near the stage.” She grabs your sleeve and your attention. “I need you to make me sing. Don’t let me chicken out.”

You shrug, “Sure, let's do it.”

~-~-~-~

Taking up two seats at the bar, you try and seem to fail at helping Nayeon calm down. Her guitar rests against the bartop beside her while she fans herself hurriedly with her hand. “It’s so nerve-racking… I knew this was a mistake,” she adds before turning back and trying to leave the place, however, you stop her in her tracks

“Come on, you worked so hard for this,” you say, recalling the number of recordings she sent you: one for each take she was doing. “You can do this,” you continue reassuring her, knowing she’s more ready than ever. At the same time, you could see your friend get more nervous by the second, now taking more sips of her water bottle.

“But what if I miss a chord, or I sing badly? Everyone will laugh at my mist–'' You know at this point she’ll only spiral to worse and worse thoughts, so you nip it in the bud and stop her right there. You take both her shoulders in your hands, making Nayeon stop her nervous rambling, and her cheeks turn a shade of pink.

“I believe in you, Nana. just take a deep breath.” You stop to let her do as you say, taking a deep breath in and slowly breathing it out. The tension leaves her with each breath she takes, and you find a moment to keep her stable. “Good, I am sitting right here, not leaving for any reason, so if you feel nervous, just find me. Look at me.” Her gaze softens at your promise, and her lips form a tiny smile in response to your words. 

Hearing the current open mic singer finishing up his song, you send her off with some final words. “Your turn now, Nana. Break a fucking leg.” You leave her shoulders as her smile slowly starts to grow.

You watch her heading toward the stage, taking her guitar out of the cover, and taking her seat on the chair in front of the mic. “Hey,” she starts, “I am Nayeon… and I’m gonna sing Spring Day by BTS… I, uhh, hope you enjoy.”

She takes one last deep breath as you find her gaze on you. You return a reassuring smile, and Nayeon’s eyes fly back to her guitar. She strums her first chord, and the crowd’s welcoming applause rises.

“I’m missing you, when I say that I miss you more, I’m missing you…” Nayeon’s fingers strum the strings delicately, and it enchants you how graceful and in control she is of her instrument. The wood and metal of her guitar work together under her guidance to produce a beautiful sound, one you feel deep inside you'd never have heard the beauty of if not here, not now.

The way her lips move to articulate her words is heavenly, like she has you under a benevolent spell to bring you a rare sort of peace. It captivates you how she carries herself; behind her tough outer shell is a scared and confused layer, which hides a soft and optimistic core and wants to chase a brighter, happier future by cherishing the present. You marvel at your luck, that you were permitted to see so much of her, and how openly she welcomed you in when all she knew was aloneness and to shut people out. 

“Snowflakes falling from the sky, are drifting further by and by…” Her heavenly voice draws you in, and it commands your attention like it speaks directly to your soul. The sound of Nayeon tugs on your heartstrings, pulling you closer to its source, and you let yourself get whisked away.

And to its source you look; find a girl with courage like you’d never seen. See Kwon Nayeon in a different light than the harsh monotones of the classroom fluorescents, but in a spotlight that she takes up with everything in her soul. It’s a different shade of her: a shade of Nayeon that only you could comprehend, a part of her that only you had the privilege to understand.

“I breathe you out there somewhere, like smoke in the air…” The space grows warmer, like a hearth welcoming you home. Your surroundings quiet down as Nayeon pulls them deeper and deeper with her subconscious command: rest, lay down your worries and fly for the moment towards your peace. You look around, and every fellow face in the crowd you see has their eyes fixed on Nayeon’s performance; they’d never know it, but it’s the debut of a person coming into a whole new life free of regret and cowardice. It’s Nayeon building herself up from the rubble of a past that she aims to forget. 

“Flowers blooming towards the sky, has winter finally passed by?” The noise of the world seems to die down, as if just you and Nayeon are the only two things in existence. The pace of her strumming slows, as do the lyrics that escape her mouth. Every note she produces is deliberate, gentle, comforting, and for once you feel like you’re able to imagine a brighter tomorrow like her. 

With her. 

The song draws to a close, and she looks all over the crowd as they start to clap. You can't help but join in. Nayeon just bows lightly, and you can feel how happy she is that everything went well in her song. As she steps off the stage, you leave your spot and head toward her.

With both of you only a couple of steps apart, you chuckle lightly, “Well it wasn't so bad was—” You were stopped, caught off guard by your friend, dashing to you with open arms and crashing into your chest, wrapping her arms around you, and pulling you into an embrace. 

No words are spoken; both of you just stand there, hugging each other, her face nuzzling your chest as you could faintly feel her heartbeat. You were quite surprised with Nayeon being so open with you, since it was just a short time ago you made your promise to help. 

“Thank you…” she says, now releasing you from her embrace, noticing how her eyes shed small tears, that you couldn't figure out if they are tears of sadness, or happiness.

“... Always here for you Nayeon.”

“Please… call me Nana,” she says. She takes her notebook and crosses off another line from her bucket list, and as she walks toward the exit, you make way for the people coming by to greet her for the performance.

You can't help but wonder… has something changed after that performance?

5. Shoplifting

“Pick something already, it's not that hard,'' you remark impatiently while tapping your feet. Both of you are staring at the snack section of the local convenience store near your college, and Nana hovers her hand over the selection of snacks to look for the perfect one.

“Stop rushing me, I'm trying to choose which one will not get me caught,” she replies, still focused. The veteran petty thief in you groans, recalling your highschool days where nicking a cigarette or two (or ten) every once in a while gave you back huge chunks of your monthly budget. You miss the simplicity of it, and you once again find the restriction of being so careful more annoying than anything else. How come for Nayeon it is such a big struggle to steal one snack? You shoot the question up to whichever god might be listening, and you even half-expect an answer back. 

“You are thinking about it too much, the cashier is probably not gonna notice even if you stole something that made noise,” you add, tapping your foot rapidly, like you were some parent spending too long in the toy section.

“Well, please forgive me, oh thug master, it’s my fault that I never did that shit before!” Her whispers are loud enough for you to hear clearly, your less-than-welcoming attitude leading her to take a deep sigh.

“Fine, if you want to make it easier, do the buy one steal one method,” you explain. 

“The what?”

“Well to make it simpler than it already is, you dolt, you take two things, one you buy normally, and the other one you don't pay for,” you added as it seems to all make sense in Nayeon’s head. “Defeats the fucking purpose why we’re here, but really, the longer we spend here to leave with just four things, the more anyone will suspect us.”

Despite your best efforts to hurry her, they all seem to only make her take even longer. Her brow furrows deeper, as if trying to form lasers in her eyes to burn holes through the plastic wrappers. 

Your patience wears thinner by the moment, and you resolve to isolate before you lose it completely. “So if you’ll excuse me, I will get my shit and meet you outside,” you say, leaving her alone in the aisle.

As a promise to yourself not to shoplift anymore, you decide to buy just one pack of cigarettes. You light one of them as you lean against one of the store’s walls, watching the sun start to set. Find yourself sitting down, admiring the beauty of a day near its end, taking in the world around you.

Two cigarettes and fifteen minutes later, a small ding sounds from somewhere in the front of the store. It’s Nayeon, half-running out of the building, her face painted with worry as she finds and walks towards you.

“So, you did it?” A smile forms on Nayeon’s face as she takes her right hand to her jean’s pocket, revealing a small candy bar. She brandishes the candy around like a magic wand, as if trying to charm you into being proud of her. 

“Well… it's something,” you nod, while the two of you start towards her dormitory.

“Oh don’t say ‘it’s something’ when you didn't steal anything,” she exclaims. She holds the candy bar up against the setting sun, examining its entire wrapper. Now that you’re a considerable distance from the store, the worry on her face has been replaced completely by pride and excitement.

“Well I don’t shoplift anymore, the only reason I'm letting you do it is because you wanted the experience, which by the way,” you scoff, plucking the snack out of her hands, “all of that was for a chocolate bar.” This earns you a pretty strong punch on the shoulder, and the force loosens your grip on the snack enough for Nayeon to steal it back.

“Shut up,” she says, her cheeks seeming to grow a small shade of pink. She walks faster, leaving you no choice but to speed up as well.

6. Dye my Hair

“Do you think blonde hair will suit me?” Nana asks, holding the color card next to her face. You come in for a closer look, but as you stare you stop and wonder why you even did so in the first place. 

“Yeah… uhh yeah, I think it can suit you well.” You weren't an expert in hair styles and colors, so honestly unless it was a color that was actually hideous, everything was fair game.

Nana smiles at your response and picks out a box of blonde hair dye to add to her basket. You’re a bit nervous that she wants to dye it at home with you, but any attempts you made to convince her to see an actual stylist have been dismissed. “It’s easy,” she said, “there’s instructions on the box.”

“So, how was it?” You’re half-convinced that the bleach is eating through your rubber gloves, but you soldier on.

“Was what?” Nayeon checks herself out in the mini-vanity mirror in front of her. You have to swat her hands away from her head with your elbows, but apart from that she stays on her best behavior.

“You know,” you shrug, “this whole thing. The stealing, the swimming, the dyeing your hair.” You try to keep the bleach from dripping onto your arms, mostly aiming for the scattered sheets of newspaper the two of you prepared on the floor, but there’s only so much you can do. You just resolve to wash off any drops as quickly as possible. 

You get the feeling that she hoped you wouldn’t notice, but you did. The smile on her face dimmed the slightest it could before she could fix it. “It was… great! Stuff I’ll remember for the rest of my life, for sure.” 

Like some form of cosmic karma, she spots your involuntary grin in the mirror. “Good. That’s good.”

The color drains from her hair bit by bit as you apply the bleach carefully. You’re not sure how quickly you have to finish, but Nana seems not to mind. You gently stroke and rub the product through her hair, taking special care not to come into contact with her scalp too often, all the while she turns her head from side to side to admire the look she’s going to have soon. 

“You know…” she says suddenly, avoiding your eyes in the mirror, “this was really fun. I’m so happy I got to do all that stuff on my list.” Her smile changes: what was once a cheerful and optimistic smile just a few moments ago is now a wizened and melancholic one. “I mean it. Thank you for helping me.” 

She makes eye contact with you again in the mirror, and she flashes that smile to you once more. Her hair grows lighter with each passing second, and as her back relaxes and straightens, it seems that the weight of the world leaves her shoulders as well. She breathes more easily now, and despite the fumes the box says you should do your best not to inhale, you breathe easier too.

~-~-~-~ 

You’re sat back again on her sofa, and Nana tries her best not to mess with her hair that’s still soaking. She looks kind of silly, what with her old towel around her shoulders faded to near oblivion, her hair in sections making her look like a half-done scarecrow, her hands going up halfway to her head only to be forced back down by the other. 

And yet, you admire another shade of Nayeon. This time, it’s a girl who’s scared of the future, of changes she might regret later on. It’s something deep in her character, even central maybe, to be afraid of things she can’t take back. Even then, she takes her leaps and bounds to try and outrun her past, and finally, you see the razor edge that keeps everything in balance: Nayeon’s fear which dictates her present, and Nana’s strength which leads her to her future. 

“Hey,” you say abruptly, surprising even yourself, “you good?” 

“I think so. My head’s itchy. Is that supposed to happen? Should we wash it off?”

“No, jackass, it’ll look even worse if you quit halfway.” 

Your words set in and she realizes you’re right. Worry seeps into her face and you notice tears start to well up in her eyes.

“Look, this might not be comfy right now, but I promise it’ll be worth it later on.”

“Really? You promise it’ll look good?” She looks over to you with pleading, shiny eyes, and it almost hurts to tell her no.

“I said I promise it’ll be worth it. Not that it’ll look good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

You chuckle at the sudden rise in her voice. After all this time, she’s still Nayeon, still Nana. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It means… if you stick with it, there’s no way you’ll regret what we just did.”

7. You know…

The end of your senior year of college rolls around, and the graduation ceremony is still fresh in everyone’s minds. Photos of friends together and square caps thrown into the air decorate your social media feeds for a good few days, and you can’t deny the whole thing was something you wouldn’t forget for the rest of your life.

And finally, Nana’s bucket list has been finished. To think that all of it was done in the span of a college year is quite impressive to say the least, as before you started she was lost in her own goals and left sitting for a good three years. Now, looking at your diploma, it was not only a sign of your successful studies at college, for you it was also the sign of helping your dear friend get to where she wanted to be. 

Speaking of the devil, now sending you a message

On the way, you see various people from her dorm building heaving away bags and suitcases, undoubtedly taking advantage of the nice weather to move out. You see people hugging each other, taking selfies, exchanging numbers, and all the while you think of each of them with their own stories to tell when they get home, but none so interesting as the one you and Nana built together. 

The walk up the stairs was more of the same, people saying goodbye, and you can’t help but feel a bit of nostalgia. It was by no means a short year, but for everything you did, the feeling of wanting just a bit more time never seems to leave you. You recall the first time you saw her, that quiet girl in the front of the auditorium with four seats of clearance around her, and how you slowly watched her grow into the fine and confident woman she is now. Part of you is unbelievably proud of what she’s achieved, but another part of you knows it’s all her doing and you were only along for the ride. 

You reach Nana’s room just as her roommate was leaving, and you exchange pleasantries with her before she goes off. “Hey, just so you know, Nayeon’s a really nice girl,” she says in whispers to you, “I’m glad she found you before she left.” She pats you on the back before going off to the stairs herself. Something deep inside you glows in agreement, and you think to yourself how lucky you were to be able to meet and spend time with a person like her.

“Hey, come in!” Nana pushes you into her now half-empty room. “Yuri just left, so we have the place all to ourselves!” You take a seat on her easy chair while she plops herself down onto her bed. The half that still has stuff in it is simple and unassuming, and the realization dawns on you that this is the first time you’ve been in Nana’s room. Despite this, the space is warm and cozy, like it was filled with a good sort of energy for a long time. 

“Cheers” you both say at the same time, each with a can of beer that you both drink fairly quickly. You recall the first time of her drinking with you, how easily she felt her stomach hurting but this time she quickly shrugs off the bitter taste.

“You know,” Nana says, her eyes shining and her smile flashing itself directly at you, “I am really happy that you helped me with the bucket list, I couldn't do it without you.”

You simply laugh casually and say “Come on Nana, all you needed was confidence.”

“And who do you think gave me that confidence? I really mean it…thank you,” she says, and you can't help but smile at her back.

“Let me get some snacks, okay? Don’t move a muscle.” As she stands and heads toward the kitchen, you go to check up your phone to see what the time is. However, just as you are about to go into your Instagram, you notice something on the table: a little black notebook that’s only all too familiar. 

When you think about it, She has never shown you the actual list besides that one time when you two first talked. “A peek won't hurt right?” you say, the alcohol definitely makes the choice for you. Your sober self would never invade someone's privacy, especially not some as close as Nana’s, but regardless, you open it and…

You flip through the pages, and the notebook reveals so much more. The few pages you’ve been shown were just decorated pages, and each mission was a chapter, filled with dozens of writings, pictures, scribbles, each for its own topic. You find yourself smiling, muttering quietly to yourself: “You really worked hard on it… didn't you?” 

Your attention is snatched to Nana across the room, looking at you with cheeks fully red. You can't help but curse quietly, and you try to come up with something of an apology. However before you can finish your first word she says…

“Hey, come on, put that down!” Nana rushes toward you, nearly tossing the snacks off to some random part of the room, and snatches away the little black notebook from your hands. She hugs it close to her chest as she turns away, and she looks over her shoulder to peek if you might still be thinking about snatching the notebook back.

Instead, you raise your hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Sorry. But what's there to hide? Aren't we done?” You take another sip of your drink before picking up one of the snacks. You open the bag of chips and place it on the table for the both of you. 

“Well… I had one other thing. I gave up on it a long time ago, just never ripped out the page.” Nana turns back toward you and fiddles with a leaf of the notebook. Her steps are careful when she gets nearer to you, as if cautious to scare you away. 

“What?!” You bolt to your feet in surprise, your drunkenness taking a backseat at the sudden exposition. “Shit, we gotta go now! What is it?”

“Calm down,” Nana mutters, her feet rubbing against the carpet, “it isn't something we can do anywhere else anyway. Or, I mean, it’s done? I don’t know…”

Your nerves are still flaring, but you get the feeling that whatever it is, there's nowhere else but where you are now that Nana could do the last bucket list thing. Your gaze steadies on her, and she looks like she wouldn't budge for the world. Her eyes never leave the floor, her hands stay guarded on the notebook, and for some reason, she's also able to keep you just where you are. 

“So… what is it, then?” 

“Promise me you won't get mad?”

“... Promise.”

Once she hears you say it, her eyes shut tight. As if gathering courage, she takes a deep breath before taking deliberate steps to where you're standing. You never see it coming, but the next thing you know, Nana's soft lips are on yours, her delicate fingers keep you steady in place, and her vanilla scent fills your nose and overwhelms your senses that you can't think of anything at all but her.

It takes only half a second, but you melt into the kiss yourself. Your eyes flutter closed and start to forget the world around you in favor of the girl who stayed by your side. The space between the two of you grows smaller, your hands make their way to her waist, and you let your selfishness take over and keep her for yourself as well. 

The kiss breaks just as you hold her, and both your eyes shoot open to find hers just as wide as yours. 

“I-I, umm… I’m sorry, it was too sudden, and uhh…” It wasn't too hard to see how much she was stuttering, and if you weren't so surprised yourself you would've also joined her like the blushing mess she is right now.

The alcohol was starting to hit you again, and your better judgment slowly left you as you took her lips once more. You have no time to be surprised at how willing she is, and you resolve to just enjoy the kiss with her. You lead her to the edge of the bed and sit her down; and the first chance she gets, she lies back onto the mattress and pulls you with her. 

“If you really wanna know…” She flips to the last page of the notebook and shows you. It’s a simple picture, just two stick figures in a heart, holding hands. You don’t recognize the poster, but the quote is unmistakable: “You should be kissed, and often, by someone who knows how.”

“I’m glad we got to spend all this time together, and I know I keep thanking you, but I really am so happy…” Nana pulls you back in, and with your own sweet defiance, you trace kisses across her cheek and onto her neck. The whimpers that escape her are adorable, but at the same time they also confirm thoughts you’ve only ever tried to suppress: she likes you too. 

You go lower and lower, tracing kisses from her neck to nibbling her collarbone, and you settle right before you reach her chest. Her breath hitches when she figures out what you want to do, but ultimately her fingers rake comfortingly through your hair.

“So tonight… let me show you… let me thank you… properly.” Her eyes may look pure when she says those words, but with how you are inches away from her lips, with how you have been kissing her now, it's anything but.

She slowly pulls off her jacket, her eyes never leaving you. The fabric slides off of her arms, revealing the smooth skin of her slender arms. The next to go is her tank top; her fingers grip the hem lightly, tugging slowly upwards, showing you her toned tummy and milky skin. The hem rises higher and higher, until she stops right under her chest. 

“Are you sure?” Your question is breathless, not in the slightest bit annoyed, but your tone full of concern reaches her. “You don’t have to do this for me.”

“I know,” she says, the sound of her voice betraying a dry throat, “I love you.” She pulls the rest of her top off, and her boobs bounce freely in front of you. Nana takes your hands and places them on each, and asks you playfully, “Come on, you think I never caught you staring?”

She pulls you back in for a kiss, a proper one this time, the kind that quenches your thirst for her. She tries her best to wrap her tongue around yours, all the while you take your fill of her soft tits. Pinch and tweak her nipples, feel them stiffen as her tiny whimpers grow into careless moans. You never let up, delivering constant pleasure to her chest, and your surprise when you feel her palming your growing bulge is quickly replaced with anticipation. 

Her hand slips under your waistband and her moan fills your mouth when she feels how hot and hard your cock is for her. She wraps her fingers around your shaft and gives long, slow strokes, nothing that would make you cum on the spot, but just about enough to make you leak precum onto her palm. She relishes the feeling of your arousal on her skin, and as she picks up her pace, seemingly trying to entice you to do more, you’re left with no choice but to give her exactly what she wants. 

You work on unzipping your jeans and taking them off, and with Nana’s help, it feels like the second easiest job in the world. They fall to your ankles and you kick them away, and all of a sudden your cock rests on the skin of her luscious thigh. The heat and the precum that leaks onto her flesh surprises her, but her senses come back to her and she asks for a time out. 

“Gimme a sec, I have to breathe,” she gasps unsteadily. You get off her, wondering what you might have done wrong. Her breathing is ragged and she seems to not be able to focus on much else, but a reassuring look in her eyes lets you know she’s alright. 

“I just– I needed to see it.” Her gaze falls on your cock, and once she reaches and wraps her fingers around your shaft again, it throbs in her hand. A groan of pleasure escapes you, and she figures out that she’s doing something right. Her pumps start slow, gradually building up speed, all the while she brings her face closer and closer, and you don’t even notice it, but finally her lips meet the tip of your dick. Nana rubs your precum all over her lips like lipstick, and she takes your head in her mouth. 

Small groans come from your mouth feeling her soft lips, you enjoy much more than you thought, especially knowing how inexperienced you thought she was. Your hands meanwhile grab a part of hair, pulling it lightly, causing Nana to moan into your cock.

“Don't get mad if I do this wrong–” she says, her eyes fraught with worry. Despite this, she makes careful moves to give you the best possible experience. She seals her lips around your head, and she gives slow but deep sucks as she tries her hardest. 

“You’re– nngh– doing great,” you moan, the pleasure overtaking you. The eye contact you two share is enchanting; she’s undoubtedly a very pretty girl, and despite the amateur blowjob, she more than makes up for it with her enthusiasm. Her head bobs slightly, trying to take more of your length in, but her worry of choking keeps her from giving any more. 

On the other hand, she has no idea of the effect she has on you, and the sight of the gorgeous woman’s plump lips on your cock coupled with her eager attempts at making you feel good nearly sends you over the edge early. In an effort to stave off your orgasm for even just a little while longer, you regrettably pull her off of you. 

“What– what’s wrong? Wasn’t it good?” Again her words are coated with worry of disappointing you, but the way you look tenderly to her reassures her. 

“You are perfect, Nana,” you whisper into her ear. You lay her back onto the bed gently, and you let show your eagerness to please her too. You venture down until you’re level with her crotch, and you work slowly to peel off her thin shorts. As they leave her legs, you’re presented with a pastel blue pair of panties, though you can’t help but notice the growing wet spot right in the center and the scent of her arousal seeping through. It must be uncomfy, you think, and you strip it off of her as well. 

The garment leaves her and you look to Nana for approval: her finger between her teeth and her face red as a tomato, she looks at you with a loving gaze. Only then do you realize that Nana is now fully naked, everything bare for you and you alone, and the way her thighs rub together needily sends the message you’ve been dying to get. 

Part her legs, meeting little resistance as you do. Travel up from her knees to her thighs, planting kisses and light nibbles on the soft flesh of her legs. Hearing how she whimpers beneath your lips: “That feels really good… I want more…” 

Your lips finally meet her pussy, and the initial contact draws out a sultry moan from her. Each swipe of your tongue on her cunt causes more and more of her love juices to leak out, sending waves of ecstasy up her spine. She tries locking your head in place as she runs her fingers through your hair, all the while she grinds her crotch on your face as she chases her pleasure. 

“Yes, yes, yes! Fuck, you feel so good! I love you~!” Nana humps your face more and more roughly, and you take it as a sign that she’s close. Good thing as well, as you’re running out of air, but on the other hand you feel as though this wouldn't be the worst way to go. You run your tongue over her soaked pussy, taking slow, deep licks. 

She’s inching closer to her orgasm, her hips are bucking onto your mouth, your tongue meets her clit, she squeezes your head between her thighs, your lips seal around her swollen nub, she grabs your hair and pulls hard, and with a scream ripping through her throat, Nana squirts her love juices straight into your waiting mouth as you drink her essence up. Her scream turns into a drawn-out moan as she continues to grind on your face, making sure to pleasure herself enough to give you everything you’ve been working so hard for, and you lap every single drop of it up like it was the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted. 

She releases her grip on your hair and head, and as she relaxes onto the bed her arms fall to the sides and her legs spread open. She lazily brings a hand to her pussy and rubs it, showing you just how good you made her feel, and she smiles up at you. 

“That was fucking amazing.” It couldn’t have sounded any sweeter, and the fact that it came from Nana, lying on her bed wearing nothing but a smile that you gave her, fills you with a sort of pride that you doubt you’d ever get again anywhere else in your life. But as she starts to get up, and she places her lips on yours, you feel another weight lifted off your chest. It’s another shade of her, one that shows you how she is when she’s content. It’s her way of telling you that among the hundreds of firsts she’s had in her life, she’s grateful that you were this one too. And as you kiss back, your hands finding their way to her hips, you connect with her again on a level that you never put into words before. “I love you too, Nana.”

Upon hearing, her kiss deepens and her tongue works harder to play with yours. She leans on you more, until finally you let yourself fall backwards, and Nana is right there, straddling you, with an innocent yet horny look in her eyes again.

“Your turn. Relax, okay?” She caresses your cheek, and suddenly you’re made conscious of how bad you’re probably blushing right now. Despite this, her smile never leaves her face as she continues to reassure you. She giggles at whatever expression it is that you’re showing her, and she gets to work. 

Nana reaches to her bedside table and opens a drawer, and from it she produces a peculiar box. “Remember when I ‘stole’ that candy bar?” She tears off the sticker on the edge of the box to open it, pulls out a little plastic square pouch, and tears it open with her teeth. “I… bought… the candy bar. This was what I stole.” She tugs on the contents of the pouch, and reveals a condom. 

“What the–” you start, but you soon stop in favor of moans caused by Nana’s handjob. “Don’t ever belittle me like that again, okay?” Her smile is again just as sweet and innocent as the first time you saw it, but now is completely different. It never leaves her face as she pulls the rubber over your cock, but not before giving it a few more cursory licks.

“Ready?” she asks, and you nod furiously. Finally, she aims the tip of your cock at her entrance and slowly sinks down onto you. “Oh, fuck, it’s so big,” she gasps. She takes her time taking in your length, feeling every vein against her pussy walls as you enter her tight pussy. She sucks air in through her teeth, her eyes shut tight, her fingernails leaving imprints on your chest as more and more of you slides into her unbelievably tight cunt. As she does, you feel her wet velvet walls rub your cock inside her, her slick spreading all over you and coating you with a warm you can’t describe. After what seemed like an eternity of bliss, she finally hilts, having taken everything inside her, and she sits on your crotch without moving, still trying to get used to the feeling of her pussy being so full. 

“You good?” you ask, genuinely concerned if she’s okay or not. Place a hand on her waist, pat to comfort her. Her eyes open slowly, almost releasing a tear, and panic rises in your chest. 

“Shit, shit, I’m sorry, do you need to get off? I–” you start, but she shuts you up with another kiss. It’s slow and gentle as it starts, just simple pecks, as she reassures you once again that she’s alright. Once she pulls away, she flashes you another smile, and you swear she gets more and more beautiful with each and every one. 

“I’m okay. Are you okay?” She traces circles on your cheek and neck, and all you could do is nod. She comes back in for another kiss, and this time it’s much deeper. She opens her mouth to moan, and you jump at the opportunity to swipe at her tongue too. She loves it, and once she’s comfy enough, she starts to hump against you as well.

“It’s really really good. Do you feel good?” Her question snaps you out of your daze, but you only nod as you fight off cumming too early. Not long after that, you note she’s had her fill as she pulls away from you. Her posture straightens and she sits on you properly again, this time determined to return the favor and blow your mind. She takes in a deep breath, braces herself, and lifts herself up carefully. Your breath hitches, watching her naked figure on top of you, and you admire the way her sweat collects in drops before they slide down between her breasts. She notices you staring again, and she brings your hands up to her chest, moaning at the first moment of contact. Your instincts overtake you; you push yourself off the bed to her boobs and start to suck. Your lips seal around her nipples and she runs her fingers through your hair as she tries to push you deeper into her delicious breast. 

“Shit, don’t stop,” Nana pleads, and you continue kneading the flesh of her boobs more, sucking when and where you can. At that moment, she forces herself back down onto your dick, taking in everything again all at once. Her walls part suddenly, and once she settles her warm pussy walls squeeze your cock as tight as she can. She begins bouncing, her moans never stopping, and you find a rhythm: each time Nana brings herself down, you thrust up to meet her halfway. The first time you do, you reach a depth to her that neither of you thought was possible, and the heat from her sex with her slick drive the pair of you insane with pleasure. 

She keeps bouncing on your cock as her lewd moans gradually grow louder and louder with each of your thrusts into her needy core. Her eyes roll to the back of her head, her pussy tightens again, and just as you deliver a perfectly-timed bite to her nipple, another scream rakes out of her throat as her second orgasm overtakes her. Her pussy convulses as her hips buck again and again on your cock, her thighs and tits jiggle seductively, and her tightness reaches new heights as if she wants to keep your cock inside her forever. Despite this, you never stop thrusting her, never stop making love to her, and you cover her chest in kisses while you lick up all her sweat. 

You never give her a chance to catch her breath, and soon enough, an unknowable number of seconds or minutes past, you feel your own orgasm coming. You take one last look at her godly figure and divine visuals, and you finally succumb.

Hold her close, hold her tight. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want you getting away, so you only return the desire. Keep thrusting into her, forget about how she’s losing her mind. She’s gone, lost in her own pleasure, and there’s no point in bringing her back yourself. Instead, follow her. Send yourself over the edge and join her in her ecstasy.

You momentarily lose your flow of consciousness as flashes of white fill your eyes, but you’re snapped back to reality with Nana pulling at your hair. Only then do you realize; you’re actually cumming inside her. With each spurt, you thrust into her as your cock twitches against her slick walls. The cumulative heat from your cum sends just the right signals to Nana’s body, and it sends back the equivalent of screams of desperation at the illusion of breeding. Your pumps are harsh and careless – thank the stars you’re wearing a condom – but Nana is too far lost to care past the unholy pleasure you deliver to her. 

“Fuck, fuck! Aaaahhh!!!!” You feel her tighter, as if clamping down on your cock, her cunt pulsating and the connection between the two of you growing wetter, slicker. Despite this, you never let up, hell-bent on giving her everything you have. One spurt turns into two, then four, then six. It didn’t matter, none of it did. It could have been the end of the world and you wouldn’t have minded. All that was important was the girl sitting on your lap, losing her mind.

As both of your orgasms die down, the pair of you fall to the mattress. You stare at each other, wide-eyed and out of breath, and all you can do is smile and giggle at each other. As each of you catch your breath, the world quiets down, and all that’s left in existence is just you and Nana. 

“Wow,” she sighs, “nice.” Her smile grows wide again, and her hand once more finds your cheek to caress.

“Yeah, nice.” You laugh back at her, the adrenaline fading quickly. “Does that check the thing off your list?”

“Oh, yeah!” Nana jolts up and off the bed, or at least attempts to. Instead, she falls back next to you, and only then do you realize the fatigue rendering your bodies useless. 

“So… we good?” There’s nowhere else to look but right to her. Nana’s beautiful, round, just a bit teary eyes gaze back at you with adoration and love, something you never thought you’d have for yourself in this magnitude. And yet, here you are, and here she is, as if nothing else mattered. 

“Shit. That was crazy. Anyway, yeah. Thanks.” With her last ounce of strength, she comes in for one more kiss. She collapses in your arms, cuddled right up to your chest, and you can imagine she could hear how loud your heart was thumping, just like hers. 

Catch her snoring an adorable snore, wrap her in an embrace that would protect her from the worst the world could throw at her. A small thought in your head says you want to keep her safe forever like this, but you know better: she’s a strong woman who can take care of herself. Think back to how lucky you are, and how you walked this journey with her. Recall how she was just a fearful nobody when you first met, remember how you watched her grow into the amazing person she is now. 

Your eyelids grow heavy, and you realize your waking seconds left are numbered. Right before you drift off to sleep yourself, you hear her, in the tiniest voice ever, mumbling her confession: “Stay with me.”

“Go to sleep, Nana.” You smile and turn your head toward hers, arms wrapped around her waist. 

“Not without a promise.” Her own eyes are half-lidded, and you can tell she’s fighting back her drowsiness as hard as she can. She tries blinking the sleep away, but it only works marginally.

You could say anything to her at all right now, anything in the world, but there’s really only two things that need to be put into words. Your mind rushes at a snail’s pace, and you reach for faraway ideas when the right one is just in front of you. In your mind only one question appears: “So is this like…a one time thing?” 

In response Nana just leans in and kisses your cheek, then giggles. “Would me saying ‘I love you’ outside of sex prove it?” she asks playfully, her tone betraying her desire for rest.

“Touché.” One hand goes to her soft blonde hair, brushing it to the side. “But in my defence, suddenly kissing me and then getting me naked was not the first thing I expected when you said there was ‘one last thing’ in your bucket list,” you state matter-of-factly.

You share a bout of tired laughter for a moment, and then you both look at each other with pure eyes, as if you two compete to see who can make the other blush first. Decidedly, Nana loses while she confesses. “I used to think that college was supposed to be all rose-colored, that it was to be the peak of my life. But spending it with you, I learned that it doesn’t have to be all grand milestones to live through.” The air in the room swirls differently, replacing stale breaths with new ones from the open window. 

“That time you cheered me on during the open mic, how you looked at me… It made me realise that after everything’s said and done, I wanted peace. And I can feel peace with you, without all the guilt of past mistakes, nor ghosts of regret that would’ve haunted me for the rest of my life,” she says, now leaning toward your ear muttering, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper back, smiling from ear to ear. Eventually you both released the hug. Look around her room for your clothes, which was surprisingly hard for how your sex wasn't too feral, and in turns take showers to clean yourselves up.

As you get out of the shower, fully cleaned and with some good-enough-for-sleep clothes, you find Nana on her bed fully knocked out. You simply laugh and join her, and her instinct leads her to wrap her arms around your waist while her head leans into your chest.

“Goodnight, Nana,” you whisper with finality, as if ending the night on a perfect note. Peck her forehead and close your own eyes, and fall into slumber just as deep as hers.

Bucket List Completed

“Argh, I’m so excited!” She grips you by your collar and shakes you as she screams, jolting away any sleep you wished to get. 

Two months have come and gone, and while you know it hasn’t been long, things have changed so much. Despite you trying to get just a bit more sleep in the backseat of the taxi, Nana right next to you can’t stop bouncing in hers as the sights outside the window pass her by.

“Okay, okay. Just get all this energy out before we get on the plane, please?”

She returns her attention to the window just as the taxi slows to a halt. Your new girlfriend practically throws open the door and leaps out, heading straight for the trunk to retrieve your luggage. 

“Hurry up! We might miss our flight!” She struggles lifting her comically large suitcase before you hear it hits the concrete pavement followed by its handle extending with its clack-clack-clack. 

“Hawaii isn’t going anywhere, Nana, please,” you mutter as you lazily exit the cab. You hand the driver your fare, and he reaches out to accept. As he does, he gives you a knowing smirk and tips his hat to you, as if saying “good luck.”

Turning around, you find Nana with all of your luggage too, eagerly awaiting your arm for her to cling to before you make your way inside. The hustle and bustle of Incheon International Airport fills her with a deep sense of excitement, and honestly, who could blame her? Your girlfriend is in the midst of all these other people — travelers, tourists, adventurers — and she fits right in. It’s the most natural thing for her now, to find herself in new situations that broaden her horizons and make her feel alive. 

She yanks you to her side in line for the desk, holding her brand-new polaroid camera at a high angle. “Cheese!” she screams, not far enough from your ear, but with how happy she is, you can’t help but smile her smile too. “Our first overseas trip! This is the first time I’m leaving Seoul, let alone Korea!” 

“Okay, Nana, calm down,” you chuckle, but you know she won’t. Divert her attention instead, put her energy to good use. “Do you have your passport? Carry on? Pink notebook?”

Though you both are sure she hasn’t missed anything, Nana rummages through her bag again anyway. “Check, check, and check! How could I forget?” She takes each item to show to you, and she flips through the pink notebook once it’s in her hand.

One thing about Nana, she never lets the moment escape her anymore. Once she sets out to do something, she’ll do everything in her power to accomplish that goal. This is no different, and you love her so much for it.

After looking through the notebook, she claps it shut. She flashes you the drawing of a gray bucket on its front cover before it disappears back into her carry on, and you both are reminded that a part of who you are as a couple is just that: a notebook that predicts the future by rooting itself in the present. Sadly, a weeklong trip won’t be enough for everything on her list this time, but who’s to say you’re not coming back eventually? 

And at the end of the trip, you have it ready, the best gift you could give her: a little green notebook, every left-side page filled with things you want to do, and the corresponding right side page blank, all for her. And on the very last leaf, where the cardboard of the back cover accompanies it, is a drawing of a ring, with the words: “I’ll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you.”

“Come on, hurry!” She yanks again, snapping you out of your wistful thoughts. “We’re gonna miss the plane!” Nana pulls you to the gate just as the intercom announces your flight has begun boarding. “Alright, alright! Easy,” you chuckle again, and you can’t believe this is the same girl behind the gym crying her eyes out alone just last year. Funny how people change like that, but at the same time, it’s impossible to think that Nana would ever stay the same.

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Thank you all for watching, it has been a long time working on it and we are really happy it is finally out, hope yall had a good read with this one,

i will see you all next time leafies~

[fivestar-outlaw]

New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Ch. 4)

Chapter 4: Dreaming [Final Chapter]

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader

Words: 16.5K+ (OOPS)

Warning(s): Discussion of insecurities, some swearing, Ateez is a menace (lovingly) to reader and Hwa.

SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (M/F receiving), a hint of cockwarming, condoms and birthcontrol are used (not sure if this is needed here, but i know some people enjoy reading characters hitting it raw), PiV penetration, cumshot??? (i dont know if thats the correct term for what happens LMAO). I think thats it here.

A/N: FINALLY CHAPTER 4 IS HERE. Life kept throwing curveballs but I came through!! I. Love. This. Chapter. SM. A lot went into it and its just fluffy, silly fun time with some spice. I originally was going to write a smut scene for the epilogue but it just works here. also apologies if it isnt good, im a lil rusty with smut writing. ANYWAYS enjoy! <3

Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST

Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.

Series Masterlist | Navigation

"Can you stop pacing?" Jongho sighed, watching Seonghwa going back and forth in the living space of the MinSanHwa dorm. Everyone in Ateez were currently residing there, waiting for your arrival in this somewhat warm afternoon.

He felt confident with you coming over. He was excited and ready to start laying down hints about his feelings and hopefully catch any signs from you. But the second they got the text from their manager and you that you'd been picked up from the airport, Seonghwa was up on his feet nervously spot cleaning and pacing. He felt confident at the start of the day, but now? He was on edge.

"What if she suddenly doesn't want to see me?" The eldest asked out loud, feeling anxiety creeping up his spine. "What if she'll not want to stay with me then?"

"Well, she'll still want to see me and stay with me then." Wooyoung teased. Seonghwa shot him a glare.

"Not helping, Woo." Mingi hissed to the younger male. "What happened to the confidence you had earlier?"

"I don't know why I am freaking out this bad." The eldest groaned and started pacing quicker.

"Hwa, you should sit down. Pacing isn't going to help your nerves." San suggested, getting up from his spot on the couch. He gently grasped Seonghwa's arms and pulled him over to take the spot he once inhabited. The younger male made him sit and gave him a reassuring squeeze to one of his arms.

"(Y/N) is just as excited and probably just as nervous to meet you too." Hongjoong attempt to reassure. The eldest nodded, taking a deep breath, as a smile grew on his face.

"Thank you, guys. I am feeling a little less stressed now."

"And if you two need San and I gone, just give us a heads up and we will bunk with the others." Mingi cheekily grinned. Wooyoung bursted out laughing, with San and Yuhno chuckling. Honjoong, Yeosang, and Jongho had a scandalized look before they too laughed along.

"Why would we- Oh my god." Seonghwa groaned loudly. Everyone smiled at flustered expression on their oldest friends face all while Mingi looked proud.

A series of rhythmic knocks had the room go silent.

All of Ateez looked at Seonghwa, who simply stared at the front door with wide eyes. No one moved a muscle. Wooyoung, who was sitting next the eldest male, practically pushed Seonghwa to his feet. He gulped and approached the door. Taking in a deep breath, he turned the several locks and opened the door.

There you were, with a half drank beverage in one hand and your phone in the other. Your suitcase rested just behind you and your carry on hung over your left shoulder. You wore clothes comfortable for travel yet still looked as good as ever. Neither of you spoke. You both just stared at each other.

"(Y/N)!" Hongjoong's voice snapped the two of you out of your trances. He walked through the threshold and grabbed your suitcase with a grin. "Come inside."

"Hey everyone!" You smiled walking into the dorm, waving. All of Ateez stood up from their spots with wide smiles. Wooyoung was bouncing in his spot; San, Mingi, and Yuhno excitedly waved; Yeosang and Jongho looked calm, though one could easily discern some nervousness in their glances; and Hongjoong went and set aside your luggage so it was out of the way for now.

"(Y/N)..." Seonghwa's soft voice stole your attention. Before you could speak he pulled you into a tight embrace. You easily melted into him, the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body invading your senses. You immediately wrap your arms around him just as tight and you could hardly hear the faint awws from the others.

"It's good to see you in person, Hwa." You whisper.

"Likewise." He slowly moved away, though kept his hands resting on your shoulders.

"Stop hogging her, hyung!" Wooyoung was almost instantly right by your side with a pout on his face. He removed Seonghwa's hands from your shoulders like a child and once they were off you, a big grin broke out on Woo's face. "We are so happy you're here!" He placed his hands on your cheeks, squishing your face, before pulling you into a hug.

Soon enough, everyone was around you. Each member took turns greeting you and pulling you into a hug. Seonghwa couldn't help but smile at the friendliness between you and the others. Even Jongho gave you a very brief hug with a gummy grin on his face.

"It's almost surreal being here with you guys." You admitted, wide eyed, looking at each one. Although, your gaze lingered on Seonghwa's form more so than the others. "It feels like just yesterday I invited Hwa to sell turnips on my island."

"Yeah, and now he won't ever stop talking about you." Yeosang teased with an almost deadpan expression, which soon melted into a smile.

"You all live to embarrass me." Hwa rolled his eyes while fighting the urge to smile himself.

"Not to further embarrass you, or you (Y/N), but we should probably settle sleeping arrangements. I assume your staying in our dorm." San inquired.

"You can always stay with me." Wooyoung suggested, leaning against you.

"I figured I would be taking the couch." You shrug.

"No, you can have my bed. I'll stay on the couch." Seonghwa asserts.

"Hwa, it's your bed."

"(Y/N), your our guest." Hongjoong interjected. "You should sleep on the bed."

"He is the idol. He should be well rested and the best shape, especially if you guys are practicing and learning new choreography and he can't do that if he isn't able to sleep comfortably."

"Ah, well, you aren't wrong there."

"Joong." Hwa gave him an incredulous look.

"You guys could always take turns." Yuhno suggested with a quiet chuckle.

"You both could always just share the bed." Mingi interjects with a cheeky look on his face. That resulted in a light smack to the back of his head from Hongjoong. Mingi yelped and glared at Joong.

"Seonghwa and I can figure it out when we get there. I have a feeling we will be here all day." You say, feigning slight exasperation. "We talked briefly about ideas of what to do, but now that we are here..."

"Well, we would love to bring you to the dance studio while you stay." Yuhno smiled.

"And I asked my vocal coach, he said it was alright for you to listen in on a practice if you still want to." Jongho beamed.

"We can also take you places for sight-seeing and to grab food. We will have to be careful and go in small groups after practice but it should be fun. We have a photoshoot Thursday, which you're welcome to join us for." Hongjoong added. "There are limits as to what we can do outside the dorms and the KQ building, but overall we want to spend time with you."

"We all have Switch's too, so don't think about playing only Animal Crossing with him." Woo playfully glared at you and Seonghwa. This had the others wanting to already play games like Mario Kart or Smash Bros with you.

After a day of playing different party games, laughing at how competitive each of the guys were, and having delicious takeout from one of their favorite places, the nine of you were crowded around the tv in the MinSanHwa dorm. You decided on what movie to watch via rock, paper, scissors; the winner got to pick the movie and sat out from the rest of the game.

You won the first pick. You decided on a movie you enjoyed that you have been meaning to rewatch. San won next and he picked out a film no had seen before. Yeosang was after him and decided on a classic Korean film that you hadn't watched. Now Yuhno's choice was playing, which was Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse.

You were practically forced to sit on the couch, right in between Seonghwa and San, while the others occupied desk chairs brought out from either San, Mingi, or Seonghwa's rooms or the floor. They insisted it was because you were the guest, but Ateez really wanted to make sure you and Seonghwa were seated next to each other for movie time.

After all, operation 'Hwa+Y/N' (Wooyoung's idea) was officially set in motion the second you knocked on the door. It was their way of helping you and Seonghwa to hopefully confessing to one another.

It was midway through the film when you started feeling like you were about to fall asleep. Lingering drowsiness had been present since Yeosang's movie but you were able to keep it at bay. Now, it felt like you were struggling hard to keep your eyes open. Travel exhaustion and your sleep schedule now being thrown off further must have finally caught up. You felt your breathing start to slow as you couldn't keep your eyes open any longer.

Seonghwa's eyes widened when felt weight on his shoulder. Craning his head, his face softened and his heart fluttered at the sight of your head resting on his shoulder. He couldn't help the large smile on his face as he stared, not paying any attention to the movie.

"Aww." Wooyoung cooed softly. He held up his phone and leaned away from you and Hwa to snap a few pictures. 

"Send me those." The eldest murmured. Wooyoung nodded and made sure to send them to Hwa. He also sent them to the group chat he created without you or the oldest male he lovingly named the ship name he and Yuhno coined for you and Hwa.

"Here, I'll pause it-" Yuhno lifted the remote to pause the movie but Seonghwa cut him off.

"Let her sleep through the rest of it." He kept his voice low as to not wake you.

"You just don't want her off you, hyung." Jongho teased. Hwa simply rolled his eyes and focused his eyes on the screen. He would be lying, though, if he were to say the rest of his attention was focused in on you. He wanted nothing more than to place a chaste kiss to your hairline and interlock his fingers with yours, and he almost would have if he wasn't keenly aware of his friends not-so-subtly watching him.

When the credits for the movie started playing the tv was shut off. Everyone awake except Seonghwa got up from their spots and stretched, a few yawned in tandem. San and Mingi started moving their desk chairs back into their rooms. Seonghwa blinked back the sleepiness creeping up on him as he ever-so-slightly shifted, reaching over with his free hand. He gently tapped and shook you as he called out your name.

"Hmmm?" You mumbled, your eyes slowly opening. You lazily raise your head from his shoulder but shift your body closer to his. If you weren't half-awake you would have caught how flushed his ears were becoming. "Damn. Did I sleep through the movie?"

"Just half way through."

"All the excitement and traveling must of finally caught up to me." You gingerly move away from Hwa, much to his disappointment, and lift your arms about your head. Your stretched them and your spine as a big yawn escaped your mouth. "We never did figure out sleeping arrangements."

"Seonghwa-hyung, you can have my bed and (Y/N), you can have his for the stay." San smiled as he came back into the living area. "I'll stay with one of the others."

"San-"

"You guys can't argue against me on this." He held up his hand, effectively cutting you and Seonghwa off, and eyed the rest of the group. "Who am I bunking with first?"

"You can stay in my bed tonight, Sannie. I have some work to do anyways." Hongjoong offered. "Oh, by the way, we are going to be heading out early tomorrow for practice, (Y/N)."

"Sounds good. I can't wait. Thanks for," Your own yawn interrupted you, making the others faintly chuckle, "the heads up."

You slowly stand up from the couch alongside Hwa and start to make your way to your bags, but the more awake Seonghwa beat you to it. He lifted your carry-on over one of his shoulders and already started moving the suitcase towards his room. You simply roll your eyes and smile before bidding the others goodnight.

"As you know I got the smallest room but its still nice." Hwa said as he set your things down near the end of his bed. "All I ask is just make the bed each morning and be careful around those." He gestured to his display cases of his Lego figures, which he had lovingly showed you many times over video calls. "You seem like you're about to pass out. Do you need anything before you sleep?"

"I think I am good for now, thank you Hwa." You smile. He gives you a soft smile and turns to leave but you stop him. "Wait, can I... can I have another hug before bed?"

"You don't have to ask, you know." Hwa gingerly wrapped his arms around you. One of his hands rested on your upper back while the other found purchase on the back of your head. You took a deep breath and held him close. It was a warm hug that lasted for a good moment. You both slowly pulled away.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, (Y/N)." He exited his room, closing the door.

You exhale and quickly got changed. You quickly exit the room to the bathroom to brush your teeth. When finished you promptly went back to Hwa's room and pulled back his covers, slipping into the soft bedding. The mattress was extremely comfortable and as you nuzzled your face into the pillow, you smiled and drifted off to sleep.

---

It has been a couple of days since you had arrived and its been a joy. You've gotten to try different foods and snacks with Ateez and got to have a tour of the KQ building. You even got to meet some of  BBTrippin briefly which was amazing.

You mostly were with Ateez when you went to the building, just like now. You were currently sitting on the floor of one of the dance rooms, sipping on a drink you and Wooyoung went to get in the canteen area. The boys were all dancing to older choreography before they started working on their newer songs.

You could feel the floor shake when they danced Hala Hala, which made you quietly giggle.

It was something else seeing them dance in person. Your eyes wandered to each person. You admired how each person moved and danced as if they were on stage performing for thousands. Your eyes stayed on Hwa's form the most. Everyone was extremely skilled in Ateez, but something about his presence while performing drew you in.

When Hala Hala finished, the boys decided to take a five minute break right as the choreographer walked in. Wooyoung and San decided to collapse by you while the others talked to their choreographer.

"What did you think?" Woo asked, practically draping his sweaty self over you.

You grimace, "I think your getting me all sweaty."

"You probably stink too." San teased, poking the younger males arm.

"I do not stink!" Woo gasped while pretending to be offended. His lips formed a pout as he laid down on the floor, resting his head on your lap, his face was towards your stomach. He glanced up to your face. "I don't stink, right (Y/N)?"

"No, you smell like your cologne." You patted his head and chuckled at his behavior. He shifted his head a bit so he could glance at San, letting out a small 'hmph' before returning to his previous position.

San moved himself closer to you and leaned in to talk to you both quietly. "How are you holding up with the whole crush thing?"

"Shh!" You hissed, glancing over to Seonghwa. He was still conversing with the choreographer. San had asked if you had a crush on Hwa when you both went and got snacks together during your first time at KQ. He knew the answer since that phone call Woo had in front of everyone but needed to set it up like he figured it out on his own. You tried to deny it but the knowing smile on his face told you he already knew the answer.

"Have you thought about confessing?" Wooyoung asked.

"I...I thought about doing it sometime over this stay but being in person has made it a bit more intimidating."

"How so?"

"I don't know. I think it makes it feel more real?" Your brows furrowed as you tried explaining the feeling you have been experiencing. "It felt real through our chats and video calls, but now that I am here in person... I feel like it'll hurt more if he-"

"Don't be negative." San gently reprimanded. "Just follow your heart, okay? The right moment will appear so don't ignore it."

"Okay, your right." You exhaled and were about to say more when Hongjoong and the choreographer called everyone to start practicing the new dance. Wooyoung got up with a groan but a big smile on his face. San followed suit and you gave them playful taps to their calves as they walked to the middle of the room.

You look to the mirror wall and you suddenly lock eyes with Seonghwa in the mirror. He gave you a sheepish smile, his ears and cheeks blushing faintly from being caught staring. You give him a reassuring smile and thumbs up, mouthing the word 'fighting'. He bowed his head with a bashful smile before returning eye contact with you, repeating that same word.

The choreographer began teaching them the next steps to Ateez. You watched intently, following the instructors moves and then looking at Ateez mimic him.  You noticed Wooyoung, Mingi, and Yuhno were quick in picking up the new dance. Though, you were aware of how much the choreographer was correcting Hwa today as well. You could see him deflate more and more which would cause him to make more mistakes. You could feel your heart clench when you saw his dejected look.

Two and a half hours of teaching passed. An extended break was called by the instructor for the guys to refill their energy. You got up from the floor and stretched, wincing at how numb and achy you butt and lower back felt. You were about to head out with the others who were going to get snacks and food, but stayed still when you saw Seonghwa wasn't joining. He seemed to be lost in thought as he stared at the hardwood floor.

You took tentative steps towards him. Your chest tightened as you got closer. You slowly reach out and place hand on his bicep. Your touched snapped him out of his stupor. His blinked rapidly before he glanced towards your face.

"Are you okay, Hwa?" You asked softly.

"Yeah... I am." His tone and a smile were anything but convincing. You didn't want to push him but you wanted to make sure he was alright.

"You don't have to tell me what's bugging you. And yes I can tell something is." You smile. "I just wanted to let you know I am here for you. Hwa."

"Thank you." His smile this time was genuine. Although, that smile quickly turned into a frown. "I am just angry with myself for how much I am messing up. I was doing fine yesterday and the day before but today... It's like I can't get the steps or the timing down like the others. I know I can do it but for some reason I am just not getting it."

"I see..." You took a moment to think when an idea came to mind. "Why do you teach me the new stuff yourself? Maybe speaking out loud will help the process and you can catch where you've been having trouble."

"Do you think that will really help?"

"Can't say for certain, Hwa, but it helps me when I get stuck writing essays or doing homework."

"Then lets try it."

You felt sweat drip down your face as you danced the first section of the new choreography with Seonghwa. Your advice did indeed help him. As he went over the steps with you, you saw how his eyebrows would raise on certain steps. His face would brighten each time he taught the counts and steps. He was patient with you, especially since Ateez dances were very intense. When he gave you the counts you noticed him catch an error he had been making beforehand and would proceed to explain it the right way.

Now, he smiled proudly at himself in the mirror at the end of the small practice session while you tried keeping your labored breathing to a minimum. The build up of sweat at your brow made you want to swipe it off with the back of your hand but you resisted. Though you did you feel your heart flutter when you saw how proud Hwa looked about himself.

Seonghwa looked at you and his eyes widened. "Let me get you some water and a towel." He hurriedly went to the edge of the studio and picked up a clean towel from the bench and then the half drank bottle of water he'd been drinking from. He made his way back to you, handing off the water. You expected him to give you the towel.

Instead, his free hand rested on your shoulder while the other gently dabbed your face. You tried your best to mask your shocked expression and hoped he couldn't discern the heat from your face was from his actions and not from the dancing. Seonghwa's touches were gentle as he cleaned your face. You felt your breath hitch when he dragged the towel around your neck.

You couldn't help but stare at him, his face concentrated on dabbing your skin. He eyes flickered to yours which caused his movements to halt. You swore you saw his attention briefly moved to your lips before they were back on your eyes. You both ever-so-slightly move closer to each other and again, his eyes wandered to your lips and neck.

He leaned in, eyes hooded, and you couldn't help but follow along-

"(Y/N)! Hwa!" Wooyoungs loud voice deeply cut through the moment. Instinctively you both moved away from each other and looked to see the younger male carrying in two paper bags. "We brought you guys lunch since you weren't there."

"(Y/N) was helping me out with the new dance. I think I got a good grasp on it now." Hwa quickly went to join his members while you followed along, your throat dry. Both of you missed the pointed glares Yuhno, San, and Jongho sent Wooyoung as they pulled out their phones.

'We told you to wait Woo. They were clearly having a moment!' Yuhno messaged their (Y/N)/Hwa-less group chat. Jongho and San quickly followed up his message with angry cat emotes.

---

It was the day of the photoshoot. Apparently, it was for a big magazine that would come out during promotions for the new album.

You were hustled into the building with the stylists while Ateez went in elsewhere. Tiredness lingered on you while you still adjusted to the time zone difference but you didn't let that stop the excitement. You hardly caught a glimpse of the boys when their manager had you sit in the back corner of the shooting room. He gave you a smiled, handing you a badge that shows your allowed to be there, and placed a chair next you for himself before going off to the dressing room.

You waited for a while until you heard the people working the photoshoot call for the boys. Your eyes widened when you saw them walk out of the room. Every single one of them almost too handsome to be human.

Your attention, though of course, stayed on Seonghwa. He wore a loose, knitted grey sweater that was purposely distressed in some areas. The sleeves were long and reached past his hands but the hem was short, exposing just enough of his stomach. If he were to raise his arms, more of his midriff would be shown. His hair was styled down and loose and his charcoal grey top was matched with a dark belt and blue jeans.

You couldn't stop staring. Seonghwa always looked handsome to you, but this look? It was as if the stylist wanted you to keel over. The whole look made your heart race as you scanned over his figure again. 'Is he aware how hot he looks right now?'

You didn't even realize Seonghwa was watching at you. Your face immediately heated up. You gave him a sheepish smile and look away, an embarrassed warmth spreading through your being at being caught obviously checking him out. You focused on one of the studio lights. 'What a neat brand...' You glance back at him in the corner of your eye and immediately looked back at the light when you saw he was still looking your way.

A small, shy smile grew on Seonghwa's face. There was a mix of feelings within him. He felt bashful his crush was eyeing and admiring him so openly, but he also a sense of pride. His heart beat fast against chest.

Seonghwa always brushed off any thought he had of you loving him back. He never could tell over video calls you were ever admiring him in the way he wanted you to, and despite the small glances he had caught you stealing, he tried not to over think it... which actually was him overthinking it. His past insecurities coming up to tell him he was wrong. That little voice in his head always downplayed it. A part of him believed you wanted to kiss him back in the dance studio. However his internal voice dismissed it.

But now? Now he feels almost certain. This had to be one of those signs the others were telling him. There was no denying the expression you wore... how your eyes trailed over his figure... the way your barely sucked in your bottom lip between your teeth... or the embarrassed look as you put your focus elsewhere when he caught you. His smile turned into a faint smirk.

"What's up with you, hyung?" Wooyoung asked with a raised brow.

"I apologize." Seonghwa said in a low voice, that small smirk still present.

"For what?"

"For always doubting you about (Y/N)'s feelings towards me."

"What finallygave it away?"

"She was checking me out." Seonghwa looked to his friend while crossing his arms over his chest, the bashfulness starting to kick in at what he was about to say. "We also may have almost kissed the other day-"

"What?!" Woo shouted, making a silence wash over the room. He sheepishly smiled and apologized. The two waited until the photoshoot crew was talking again as they got the final lights ready. The rest of Ateez huddled around them with curious gazes. Wooyoung made sure to fill them in quickly before signaling for the eldest to continue.

"Listen. I wasn't sure whathappened then. I just... moved on my own and she leaned in too before you guys came back in." Hwa raised a brow when both Yuhno and San smacked Woo. "But I just watched her blatantly check me out."

"You two havebeen affectionate with each other since she got here." Yeosang notes, soft hums of agreement were heard from the others. "Whether each of you recognize it or not."

Seonghwa nodded slowly to that. His mind recalling all the light touches between you both, the nightly hugs before bed,

"Haven't we been telling you she is into you for how long?" Mingi said while crossing his arms.

"I know. I feel foolish now. I know that feeling of doubt may come back up- and I hope it doesn't because I feel really happy right now- but I do feel sure about it now." The elder sighed.

"What will you do now?" Hongjoong asked

"I haven't thought that far." Seonghwa looked away from his friend.

"Leave it to me, hyung." Woo winked.

"Jung Wooyoung-" Hwa started to protest but the photographer called him up for a few solo shots. The eldest gave Wooyoung a pointed look before making his way to start the shoot. Woo grinned and immediately went over the wait by you. The others followed, both curious and excited to see things finally progressing forward.

You were watching Seonghwa get into position for the first picture they wanted when you saw in the corner of tour eye the rest of Ateez joining you. Wooyoung sat in the managers unoccupied chair and gently bumped you. The rest of the boys were able to grab chairs of their own to join you.

"Oh hey guys." You smile. "You all look great. Thanks for inviting me."

"We appreciate you coming." Jongho smiled.

"I caught you checking out Seonghwa~" Wooyoung said in a sing-song voice, cutting straight to the chase. You were unaware of the lie.

"Woo!" Your eyes widened and you looked to the others.

"(Y/N), you haven't been exactly subtle. Well, at least to us. Hwa is oblivious." Yuhno told you, slightly relieved you never figured out Wooyoung told them back in February.

"And don't take this as the rest of us teasing you like Wooyoung, okay? Because we aren't." San added.

"So not only Seonghwa saw me, but you all did too." You groaned and tilted your head back, closing your eyes as you felt the familiar feeling of embarrassment creep up in your system.

"If it makes you feel any better, he didn't seem to mind it." Woo shrugged. "Anyways that's not the only reason why I came here. I wanted to do a dinner party tonight."

"Dinner party?"

"Yes. After the shoot I want to cook everyone a meal, share some soju, and have fun. I plan on keeping my makeup on a dressing up, and I'll make sure the others will be dressed up as well. You should too."

"Sounds like it would be fun, as long as I get to help."

"You are our guest..." Yeosang tried to argue but it trailed off at the look you gave him.

"I want to help. I think it would be fun to learn from Wooyoung."

Your eyes wandered back to the shoot as the others discussed the dinner plans and who all would go shopping for ingredients.

Your eyes widened when you watched Seonghwa raise he hands up and place them behind his head. The hem of the grey sweater indeed raised up enough to show off more of his waist and stomach.

"Close your mouth, (Y/N)." Woo nudged you, but your eyes stayed on Hwa posing. "You'll catch flies."

---

"Wash the rice and vegetables, hyung." Wooyoung gestured to Hwa, his voice firm. However, he switched to an overly sweet tone when addressing you."(Y/N), my dear, can you start cutting up vegetables when he is done."

You laugh and grab the cutting board. You moved to stand next to Seonghwa so you could easily get ahold of what needs to be chopped. You eyed the overly cutesy apron Woo made him wear. You glanced down at your own, it was simple with a cute cat printed on it.  Seonghwa gently leaned over and bumped you with a smile before setting down a bell pepper for you start cutting.

Hongjoong, Yeosang, and Mingi were in the living area working on different things on their laptops while Jongho, Yuhno, and San say on the barstools at the kitchen island. Mingi also offered to help but Wooyoung said three people in the kitchen was enough.

The close proximity with Seonghwa in this moment had you recalling your stay with them thus far. Small moments of affection from Hwa were really becoming obvious to you.

Thinking back to when he got done with his solo shots, he practically pulled Woo out of the chair next to you and sat down, much to the younger male's and their manager's (who got the chair for himself) dismay. His arm stayed against yours until he had to get up again for the group pictures. When he came back from the dressing room after getting changed into a new outfit and hairstyle, he stood behind you and rested his hands on your shoulders until he was called again.

When you all left the photo studio and were crammed into the large van, Seonghwa had you both in the very backseats with San. You were sat in the middle, away from windows, but he kept himself close to you. He was showing different things on his phone all while leaning against you. This wasn't the first time either. Sitting next to each other while playing Animal Crossing, during a movie, or simply sitting next to each other for mundane things... he'd lean against you whether or not he was aware of it.

Then there were the times you'd be coming back to the dorms. You and Ateez would get back from KQ, he would rest his hand on your upper back whenever everyone loaded into the small elevator up to the dorm floor. He would keep himself close to you, which you assumed at first was due to limited space. However, even when it was just the two of you, he'd stay close with his hand between your your shoulder blades.

And then the dance studio moment. If the others hadn't of came in, you almost swore he would have kissed you and you would have definitely kissed him back. Your mind at first tried playing it off as your imagination but the more you thought about it, the more it seemed likely.

And you were ecstatic.

You had to keep yourself calm as you helped out in the kitchen but the blooming smile on your face gave you away.

"What has you all happy, hmm?" Woo asked quietly. You glance over your shoulder and saw Hwa was conversing with the others at the island.

"Just thinking how much I was a fool."

A smug look came over his face. "Explain."

"Woo..." You whined.

"You have to be specific because I don't know what you mean." He simply shrugged and focused on stirring one of the sauces.

"You were right, I think, about Hwa... I think he likes me."

"You think?" Woo gave you a deadpan look. You smacked his arm, which made him yelp and laugh.

"What's happening over there?" San laughed and grinned at the two of you. Seonghwa sent you both a curious look.

"Nothing, Wooyoung is just being Wooyoung." You sent the younger male a glare to signal he should keep quiet. Thankfully he didn't say anything further but he still held that smug look.

There came a point where Wooyoung didn't need any help further so he shooed you and Hwa out the kitchen. You decided to head back to Hwa's dorm to change into a nicer outfit and to freshen up your appearance. It didn't take you long and you went to the bathroom to go over your appearance in the mirror. You heard the front door close and heard Hwa's door close as well. You couldn't help but smile when you thought of him.

You felt your heart beat quicken as you thought about your feelings and confessing to Hwa. You were sure now he returned your feelings, but now taking that next step seemed daunting. You were also not fond of confessing in front of the others, if you had the courage to confess at all.

You smoothed out your clothes and left the bathroom, only to run right into Seonghwa, who had his hand up as if he were about to knock on the door.

"Oh sorry."

"My bad." You both laughed.

"Wooyoung sent me to get you and grab the soju we have here." Hwa lifted up the bottle of the yogurt flavored soju from the fridge. "You look good."

"You do too." You noticed he also changed his top. You gulped when you saw it was very similar to the grey top he wore at the photoshoot. It was black, not a knitted looking top with a purposely distressed look. The hem wasn't as short and the sleeves weren't as long as the photoshoot top, but it still looked good. His hair was worn down now and his face was bare, having took a quick shower when everyone got back from the photoshoot.

There was awkward silence as you both stared at each other. You felt your phone buzz, which you were sure was one of the guys telling you dinner was ready.

"We should probably get back." Hwa spoke in a soft voice, his eyes never leaving yours as a small smile appeared on his face.

"Y-yeah, we should." You nod. You both quickly left and re-entered Wooyoung, Hongjoong, and Jongho's dorm. You saw the others were already sitting at the table. It looked cramped but there was enough room for everyone and most of the food in the middle. There were two spots open next to one another.

You both took your spots, Yeosang was next to you while Hongjoong was by Seonghwa. Once you both joined, everyone started putting food onto their plates. You felt giddiness for some reason whenever Seonghwa would get food for you when he got his serving. The soju bottles started getting passed around for those that wanted to drink. You decided to partake, hoping it would calm your nerves.

Your very belated revelation had you feeling more at edge around Seonghwa than ever before.

You hadn't realized you were tapping your fingers against your thigh until you felt Hwa's hand clasped around yours. You tensed but relaxed when he gave your hand a light squeeze.

"Are you okay? You seem on edge." He asked as quietly as he could. Everyone else chatted and some were loud, but he wanted to make sure you had some privacy. You appreciated that.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really happy to be here." You smile and lean against him for a few moments. He unfortunately let go of your hand so you both could eat with ease, but he shifted in his seat so his thigh stayed pressed against yours.

It was getting later in the night now.

You stopped drinking alcohol when you felt a nice buzz. While drinking with your friends sounded fun, you also didn't want to potentially embarrass yourself in front of them. Besides those who weren't as drunk as Hongjoong, San, Mingi, and Wooyoung, who were all flushed in the face and neck, needed to keep an eye on them.

"Sannie isn't that strong of a drinker." Hwa chuckled next to you as you both watched him and Mingi sing loudly to some ballads.

"Hyung you have no room to talk." Yeosang rolled his eyes as he sat next to you. He crossed his arms and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Hwa's a lightweight?" You ask with a smirk, looking to the man in question.

"He gets as bad as Sannie." Yeosang wore a faux pout. "At least San doesn't scream in your face."

"Hey, we were playing a game. Don't make it sound worse to (Y/N)." The eldest grumbled and followed the younger in resting against you. You simply chuckled at their antics.

You nearly busted out laughing when Wooyoung and Hongjoong loudly joined San and Mingi's singing. Their voices were very loud and their singing was slightly slurred. You watched as Wooyoung climbed onto the wooden coffee table, singing his heart out to the room.

"Woo get down before you hurt yourself." Yuhno sighed, approaching the scene.

"Let him perform!" Mingi and San said at the same time.

"I don't want to hear it from the two that got us a jumping ban." Yuhno struggled to get Wooyoung off the coffee table but managed to do so despite the younger one's squirming.

"Ah, he is such a handful even when he is drunk." You heard Jongho say from behind you.

"Glad I stopped when I stopped drinking when I did." You chuckled. "I probably would have been up there with him."

"Oh that would be fun to see." Hwa acted like he was about to get up off the couch. "Should we get more to drink ?"

"I don't want to be yelled at." You scrunch your nose at him teasingly.

"I would never." He places his hand on his chest and faked offense.

"Although I wouldn't mind one more shot from that bottle with the purple cap. That stuff is delicious."

Yeosang decided to get off the couch and grabbed the bottle and three of the shot glasses. He poured you each a glass, the bottle now empty. You tilted back the small cup and down the smooth liquid easily.

Yeosang chose to sit back at the table, leaving just you and the eldest on the couch. You moved in your spot so you could rest your head on Seonghwa's shoulder now. You started to feel tired, likely from the alcohol in your system, but you felt at peace. Well, for the most part. When four men were loudly singing ballads right in front of you, it was hard to actually fall asleep.

"You should get some rest, (Y/N)." Jongho spoke softly. He was resting his arms on the back of the couch where Yeosang was once residing.

"I don't want leave you alone with dealing with the drunks though."

"Don't worry about us. We got this handled." Yuhno grinned. His arms were still around Wooyoung as they swayed to the song playing.

"Alright. I'm heading back over then." You pat Hwa's leg and got up from the couch. You stretch your limbs and start the head over to the door when you noticed Seonghwa got up and was following you.

"I'm tired too." He had a light blush on his cheeks.

You both told everyone goodnight as you went back to the MinSanHwa dorm. You didn't catch how the rest of sober Ateez gave Hwa a thumbs up before the door closed.

"Ugh, I don't want to take off my makeup." You groan as you both walk through the front door. Seonghwa chuckled from behind you as he closed the door.

"Why don't you sit on the couch. I'll be back out." You gave him a questioning look but he was already heading into his room. You sit down on the couch and take in a deep breath. You felt a little more buzzed now that your last shot had been in your system for a bit.

A few minutes pass when Seonghwa came back out from his room. He appeared to have changed into nightwear. In his hand was a bottle of makeup remover and two clean towels. He sat next to you on the couch, his legs crossed as he faced you.

"Hwa, what are you doing?" You ask with a slight chuckle.

"Turn and face me. I'll take off your makeup." You gave him a puzzled look but did as he asked.

"Why do you want to take off my makeup? I have two hands, you know?" Your tone was playful, but there was genuine curiosity there. "You're always taking care of me."

"Is it an issue?"

"No, it isn't."

He uncapped the makeup remover and dabbed it onto one of the face towels. He gestures for you to close your eyes and you do.

"I am about to touch you." He murmured and just a moment later you felt the expected cloth on your face. You felt him start to clean off your forehead first. His fingers of his free hand gently held your jaw as he moved your head when he needed to. His touch was electrifying. "Let me know if I am too rough."

You mumble a response. Both of you sat in silence as he slowly and carefully cleaned your face. Your mind was taken back to that day in the dance studio when he cleaned your face then. It made your heart flutter.

"I like taking care of you." His voice cut through the silence between you two. He carefully started removing your eye makeup. "That's why I wanted to take off your makeup right now."

"Oh." Was all you could say. Your mind swam with different thoughts and feelings, all clouded by your buzz. You gulped and took a deep breath. "Why?"

"You can open your eyes now." You did so and saw he was smiling at you. With his free hand, he tilted your head back, making sure to clean under your jaw and your neck for any left over makeup. His motions were careful, his free hand stayed at the base of your neck. "I like taking care of you because I carefor you. I like seeing you happy. Hongjoong told me it's my love language for those I am close with."

Seonghwa finished cleaning off every part of your face and neck. He set the towel down on the coffee table and placed both his hands on the sides of your head, guiding you to face him. His hands lingered for a second longer before he moved them to rest on his legs.

Hwa gave you a look full of fondness and sincerity. His smile was warm and you felt safe under his gaze. You smile back and scoot closer to him. You caught his dark brown eyes staring at your lips, and this time it was blatant. Your breath was caught in your throat and your face felt on fire. And yet, your mind, while racing, wasn't telling you to overthink. It wasn't downplaying the situation like it would do before. Everything in the moment, you and Hwa alone having a sweet moment, felt right.

This has to be the right moment, like San told you.

"May I?" His voice was almost a whisper but you heard him loud and clear.

"Yes, before someone interrupts again." Seonghwa let out an amused 'hmph' sound. He scooted himself closer to you, one of his legs now was angled off the couch. As if you were made of glass, Seonghwa gently placed both his hands on your jawline. His thumbs softly petted the skin of your cheeks while his eyes roamed over your face. Your hands found their spot on his waist and you smile.

He gave you a look, asking for permission again. And when you slowly nodded once his soft lips were pressed against yours. You smiled against him, your heart raced and beat rapidly against your ribcage. You could feel the corner of his lips curl up words. The kiss was almost fleeting, a quick moment between you two.

Seonghwa pulled away, only to rest his forehead against yours. He let out a shaky breath, his eyes were still closed.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now." He let out an airy laugh.

"Me too, Hwa." You chuckle, your voice trembling ever-so-slightly.

"Can I...?"

"You don't have to ask, you know." You repeated that phrase he told you your first night there.

Seonghwa kissed you again. This time it wasn't short. It didn't have a tentative feel to it. He kissed you passionately and you returned the feeling. He swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, making your lips part slightly. His tongue slowly slipped inside your mouth. You both move to be closer to one another.

You could feel him press himself more against you. Hwa briefly broke the kiss to place softer kisses from the corner of your mouth to your jawline. He pulled his face away from you, his warm smile still on his lips. You expected him to make out with you more, but you notice him glance back at the front door.

"I want to continue..." He started to speak.

"But the risk of a drunk San or Mingi coming in tonight is the issue?" You finish.

"Exactly." He laughed. He hugged draping himself over you with his face nuzzling into your neck. "I'm sorry. The risk of nosy roommates."

"Don't be." You hum, moving your hands. You rested one on his back and the other at the back of his head.

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Tipsy and over the moon." You felt his chest rumble with his laugh. Seonghwa pulled his face from your neck and his hands were back to cupping your jaw. He stared at you for a few moments. He took in a deep breath, building up his confidence for what he was about to say.

"I figure the kiss would show you but let me tell you." He smiles. "I have feelings for you, (Y/N). I care immensely for you. I find you charming and so, so beautiful. I enjoy talking to you and being in your presence. I am glad to have taken that chance when we first met. You've become such an important person to me."

"Oh, Seonghwa." You felt stinging in your eyes and tears quickly filled then.

"Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?"

You lean in and place a soft kiss to his lips, effectively silencing him.

"I am just happy you feel the same as me. You know, I always pushed away my feelings for you. I was worried you only saw me as a friend. Which would have been fine by the way." You add with a slight nervous inflection. "I feel like an idiot though. When I look back at it now, everything seemed so obvious we both felt the same."

"I had the same revelation today when I saw how you were looking at me today at the shoot."

"Ugh, don't remind me of that." You groan and lean forward, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck.

"Don't be embarrassed." You felt him laugh and rest his hands on your back, one rubbing small circles. "You should of heard all the teasing the others did towards me.".

"Yeah, they teased the hell out of me too." You couldn't help but chuckle, now knowing the rest of Ateez knew about both yours and Seonghwa's feelings. "No wonder Wooyoung was so adamant you liked me back."

"It all makes too much sense now." Hwa almost scoffs, his shoulders shaking in a silent chuckle. There is a pause in the conversation. The silence didn't cause any discomfort between you two. Though, Seonghwa had a question he needs your answer to. "It may seem like a dumb question but..."

"But?" You prompt him to ask.

"Would... Does this mean you'd like to be in a relationship with me?"

You pull away from him, just enough to look at his face. You initially wanted to tease him, ask him sarcastically if it wasn't obvious you were head over heels for him... But you saw the vulnerable look in his expression. You knew he needs reassurance right now.

"Park Seonghwa." You gently take his face with both of your hands. You inhale and shakily exhale, a tender smile on your lips. "I love you, okay? I would absolutely love to be in a relationship with you."

"I love you too." He smiles brightly, almost making you melt on the spot. He wraps his arms around you, one snaking up so his hand could cradle the back of your head, before kissing you again. You slid your arms around his neck in the moment.

"How can you be so perfect?" He murmurs against your lips.

"I should be asking you that, Hwa." He chuckles softly in response to your words.

"How are you feeling now?" He asks again. "You did take that extra shot."

"I still feel a little on the tipsy side, but I am doing good, Hwa... And everything I said and every kiss I gave was of clear conscious too. I would do those things again, just less confidently."

He chuckles, "Well, we should probably get you some water and start getting you to wind down."

"Hwa, I don't think I can wind down after finding out my crush loves me back and now we are dating."

He tilted his head back and laughed in response, making your chest feel warm at the sound.

"Come on." He stands up from the couch and helps you to your feet. He hands you the bottle of makeup remover while he holds onto the dirty towels. "Get some comfier clothes on, do what you need to before bed, and I'll meet you in my room."

You gave him a curious looks but did so. You popped back into his room for some nighttime clothes and went into the bathroom to take a very quick shower. You didn't know you could get as clean you did that fast but you did. When you entered back into his room, you saw Hwa sitting in his desk chair scrolling on his phone. He looked up and smiled seeing you enter. He gestures to his bed, which already has the covers pulled back.

"I figure we could watch something before bed. If you would like to."

"I would love to, Hwa." You smiled and laid down on the side closest to the wall. Seonghwa followed suit in the spot next to you and pulled the covers over both of you.

He grabbed his tv remote and turned on the screen, putting on something you've both seen at a low volume. He kept his back propped up by the headboard while you had an arm wrapped around his midsection, curled up next to him with your head on his chest. He had an arm wrapped around your shoulders while his hand softly traced patterns into the skin of your arm.

It was quiet except for the tv playing, but two questions lingered in Seonghwa's mind.

"(Y/N?)" You glance up when you hear him softly call your name. "When did you realize you started having feelings for me?"

"When I had that shitty week at the end of last semester and your voice helped calm me down enough to sleep... why do you ask?" You felt a tinge of anxiety peaking through. "Is it because I was a fan-?"

"No, don't worry about that." He placed a soft, short peck to your hairline. "I could tell from the start you didn't have any negative intentions and I always appreciated you letting me initiate things."

"Oh, I didn't realize you picked up in that. I just never wanted you to be uncomfortable."

"I pick up a lot, as untrue as that seems." He jokes, making you snort. "No. I was just curious. That night was when I realized I liked you more than a friend as well." There was a shared silence between you two for a moment, though it felt like minutes, until he spoke again. "If you liked me then, why did you agree to go on that date with that guyfrom your class?"

You blink and shift to sit up so you could look at his face. You scan over his features but didn't catch any sign of anger or any negative emotion. He was genuinely curious.

"Insecurity mostly." Your voice was quiet. Hwa nodded his head for you to continue and gently took hold of your hand. "It seems silly now, but I was just insecure about a lot of things, which made me so sure you never liked me more than as a friend. I saw it as a way to hopefully get over my crush."

"Oh, jagiya." He hums softly. "I got too wrapped up in my mind to think you'd want to pursue a relationship with me as well." He leans in and gently kisses you. "Looks like we really were fools... and Wooyoung is going to remind us whenever he gets the chance."

"Why don't we hold off on telling the rest of them as-"

"What?" He furrowed his brows, a look of confusion and a flash of hurt was on his face.

"Don't over think and let me finish" You gently 'tut' and move to hold his hands. He gave you a sheepish smile. "Since they knew about both our feelings, have gotten super invested in getting us together, Woo's going to gloat, and I know if we ever attempt to go on dates one of the others will try and tag along... let's just have a short time period of just us. Would that be fine?"

"Having one over the others? Not letting Wooyoung say he was right? A pinch of privacy?" He raised his brows, a smile growing on your face. "More than fine."

That made you laugh.

---

Yuhno sighed as he took Mingi's dorm keys from his drunk friends grasp. He would have just let him crash in his room since Jongho had his hands full with Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and San, but Mingi was insisting on sleeping in his own bed. Plus, you had left your cellphone behind. He just hopes neither of them will wake Seonghwa or you.

He got the door open and with Mingi's arm around his shoulder he walked through the dark apartment.

"YuYuuuu." Mingi mumbled.

"Shh..." Yuhno whispered, helping him to his room.

"I'm not drinking again after this."

"I'll help keep you to that, let's just get you to bed for now." Yuhno got the younger male to his room, turned around as he changed into his pajamas, and tucked him in.

"Thank you."

"Uh huh, go to sleep, princess." Yuhno snickered and patted his friend, leaving his room with a yawn. He fished your phone from his pocket and approached Seonghwa's room. When he saw the light was still on and heard the tv faintly playing, he figured you were still awake. He glanced back to Sannies door and saw it was dark there.

"That last shot must of done him in." He mused to himself with a small smile.

Yuhno did a quick knock and opened the door.

"(Y/N), you left your- Oh." Yuhno's eyes widened, not expecting to see you and Seonghwa mid kiss. You both were sitting up against the headboard, your hand on his neck while his hand was on your side. You and Seonghwa were frozen and heads slowly turned to the taller male. There was a big grin on Yuhno's face. "I was just, uh, dropping Mingi off and your phone."

"Yuhno sit down, please." Seonghwa sighed pulling away from you. His ears were bright red.

"No, no. Don't let me interrupt you both." He waved his hand, gently tossing your phone onto the foot of the bed, and went to leave.

"Yuhno." The eldest uses a serious tone, making the younger male sit.

"What is it?" He looked between you two, his voice soft.

"We wanted to keep this secret, just for a bit. You know how the others get, we just wanted to have this to ourselves for the rest of the trip."

"Plus," You add. "Wooyoung can't gloat and you get bragging rights of knowing first." You offer to him, making Yuhno laugh and Seonghwa roll his eyes with a chuckle.

"Your temporary secret is safe with me. The thought of telling everyone didn't even cross my mind. You guys decide when you want to tell everyone." Yuhno states sincerely. "But I am curious when this happened."

"Tonight, like 20 minutes ago."

"Ah, I'm happy for you both." Yuhno grins and gets up. "I'll leave you both alone now, I need to check on Jongho before going to bed. Goodnight and make sure to sleep."

"Goodnight, Yuhno. Thank you." Seonghwa smiled at the younger male, who simply smiled and shook his head before leaving the room. You both looked at each other and sighed.

"That went well. At least he knocked..."

"No privacy." Seonghwa rolled his eyes and moved enough to flop on his back.

"Hey, he is keeping it to himself. He was sweet about it."

"I don't care." Seonghwa turned on his side with a slight pout, wrapping his arms around you to pull you down to lay partially on top of him.

"Hwa!" You quietly yelp.

"I'm getting all the intimate affection I can in our alone time." He chuckled, and holds you tightly. "And we are locking my door every night until you leave."

---

Wooyoung and San practically cornered you the next day during a break in practice, asking if you two confessed. You were getting a drink from a nearby vending machine when you felt Wooyoung's arm wrap around your waist while San's was around your shoulders.

"So, (Y/N)... Did you two do anything last night?" Woo asked in a hush tone in your ear.

"No, Wooyoung. He practically passed out when we got to the dorm and I didn't have the confidence to talk to him about my feelings." You sigh, finally deciding on what drink you wanted. "I don't think I can confess at all this trip."

"Let me help you." Woo whined.

"No, it's fine. Maybe one day it'll happen... but not now." You shrug off their arms and squat down to get your drink.

"Don't worry about it. Just don't neglect your feelings." San patted your back as you stood back up. "We are going to get drinks for the others, would you mind helping us?"

"Sure!" You were grateful San took the attention off you. The older of the two tapped his card to the machine and the three of you started picking out drinks for the Ateez members and the BBTrippin crew. Once there were five drinks, San delegated Wooyoung to get them to the studio, which left you two alone.

"So how did you confess to him last night?" He asked while picking up a drink.

"I told you, nothing happened." You try and give him your best confused look. He kept a knowing smile on his face as you both stared each other. It felt like a minute and it was clear he wasn't relenting. You groaned, making him laugh. "How do you know?"

"You both just seem very happy today and I can tell there is something different. You both don't look at each other with hesitation. It's sweet to see." He pats your back again. "You didn't tell me how it happened... though you don't have to. I'm just curious."

"It was the right moment, like you said would happen."

"I'm glad it worked out. Like we all told you it should."

"Ugh this is why we are waiting to say anything." You whine, playfully smacking his arm which made him laugh. "Do you think anyone else knows?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I haven't heard anything from the others."

"Good." You huff with a laugh. You and San gather up the rest of the drinks and head back to the dance studio. "You're not allowed to say anything."

"Cross my heart."

---

Later in the day it was just Seonghwa and Hongjoong in his studio. The captain wanted his older friends inputs, both because he valued Hwa's opinion and because Mingi wanted to take some time freestyle dancing with Yuhno and Yeosang, on some of the final minor edits he made to the tracks. The others were still in the dance studio while you joined Jongho for one of his vocal lessons.

"I like the addition to the dance break for this one, though I think the end should be tighter." Seonghwa gestured to the screen.

"I was thinking the same." Hongjoong hums and focuses his attention on the small changes. Seonghwa felt his phone buzz on the table and he quickly unlocked it. A smile grew on his face at the cute selfie of you and Jongho sent to the group chat. He quickly saved the picture and couldn't help but stare at your face.

The call of his name had him looking back up.

"Yes, Joong? Is there something else you need help with?"

"You confessed to (Y/N), didn't you?" The younger male smiled.

"What? No. She passed right out once she got her makeup off." Seonghwa furrowed his brows and hoped he was convincing enough.

"Hwa, you are terrible at hiding your emotions and secrets. Your eyes always give it away." The captain laugh and playfully flicked the older males arm. "I can see it in the way you look at her and how you 'try' to act shy. Your eyes don't hold the same longing. They say something different now."

"Please don't tell the others." Hwa sighed and looked to his friend, silently pleading to him.

"I won't... but why keep it a secret?"

"We just want some privacy about it. Everyone is so integrated with one another. We do plan on telling everyone soon."

"I see." Hongjoong nods and then smiles, a hint of smugness there. "So we were right? You both overthought everything between you two and now everything fell perfectly into place."

"And that's also why we don't want to tell everyone yet."

"Ha! You're just prolonging the inevitable teasing." Hongjoong grinned. A curious glint was in his eyes now. "So how did it go?"

"The moment is ours alone so I won't share any details, but..." A fond smile grew on the eldest's face. "It was sweet... really, really sweet."

"I'm happy for you, truly, Seonghwa, even if I plan to tease you about it. You deserve this, especially with (Y/N)." Hongjoong reached over and gently grabbed Hwa's hand, giving it a firm, quick squeeze before slowly dropping it. Seonghwa couldn't help the bashful smile on his face. The two scooted close to each other, nudging each other as they got back to working on the finishing touches of the song.

---

It was late at night. You were laying in bed, watching Youtube on Seonghwa's tv before you fell asleep. You heard soft knocks on the door. Pausing the video, you get up and open the door, revealing Seonghwa. You let him in and make sure to lock the door. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist, his chest flush against your back.

"Mingi went to bed." He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to your temple. He removed himself from you and flopped onto his bed. "What were you up to?" 

You laughed and joined him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. "Just catching up on some Youtube. I can put something else on-"

"No, this is fine." You nodded and started the video over for him to watch. It was nice, curled up under the covers with him, feeling warm and comforted in his arms; and you were sure he felt the same when you rested your arm over his stomach. You didn't want to break the peacefulness but you knew he should know that another members knows.

"Hwa? Can I tell you something?" You pause the video again.

"Go ahead, you can tell me anything."

"Sannie knows about us." 

There was a brief pause before he chuckles.

"Hongjoong knows too. How did San figure it out?"

"He said he could see us acting different around each other. How did Hongjoong?"

"He told me my eyes gave it away." He then rolled his eyes for dramatic effect. "At least he said he won't tell the others."

"Sannie promised too. So that's a relief."

Another moment of silence.

"You're leaving soon." There was a sadness to his tone. Seonghwa briefly tightened his arms around you. 

"I know." You sigh, snuggling into his hold more. "But, there will be more visits again."

"But now that we are together... now that you're in my arms..." He shifts away from you. You felt his hands on your shoulders as he gently maneuvers you down the bed so he could guide you onto your back. Hwa then moves himself to hover over you. "I don't want to let you go."

"Hwa." You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. "No matter the distance, you have me, okay?"

Seonghwa smiled sweetly though you could see a hint of something else in his eyes, something lustful. 

Honjoong was right. His eyes do give away a lot.

 He lowered himself down, pressing himself against you and you could feel he wasn't putting his full weight on you. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips and trailed his lips along your jaw and down you neck with opened mouth kisses. You hummed pleasantly, giggling softly at how he focused on kissing your neck, his teeth grazing your flesh.

"Seonghwa, weren't you concerned about nosy members?"

"Front door and bedroom door are locked." His breath felt hot against your neck, making you pleasantly shiver. "Mingi sleeps like a log." You felt his teeth gently nip your skin, not hard enough to leave a mark, and then his tongue swiping over the area. You couldn't deny that there wasn't arousal slowly building inside you. He pulled his face away from your neck and stared down you. "I can stop if you want me to."

You stare into his eyes. You can see the love and adoration he holds for you. Your heart flutters in your chest.

"Keep going." You murmur, placing your hand on the back of his neck and pull him back down. His lips met yours in a feverish kiss. His tongue explores your mouth and brushes against yours, all while you feel him press himself against you. Your hand stayed on the back of his neck while the other was on his side, gripping the fabric of his shirt.

Seonghwa lifted himself from you again now straddling your hips. His fingertips grazed your stomach, barely moving underneath the hem of your shirt. He gave you a look as if he was asking for permission, in which you nodded slowly. You take in a sharp breath of air feeling his hands glide against your skin under your shirt.

His soft hands slowly cupped both your breasts and he starts to gently knead them. You take in a deep breath and smile up at him, enjoying the feeling. You see he was biting his bottom lip and suddenly you felt a small shiver run up your spine when his thumbs brushed over your nipples. You can see he was getting lost in moment. Slowly he removed his hands from your chest and you missed feeling his warm hands fondling your breasts.

Seonghwa helps sit you up and them assists pulling your shirt off your body. He stared at your bare torso with wide eyes, a blush creeping up on his cheeks and ears. 

"I'm feeling a bit under dressed here." You laugh, making him blink out of his dazed state. He chuckled, and took off his shirt as well. 

"You are gorgeous, jagiya." He speaks softly. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against him. He placed more wet kisses in the crook of your neck. He shifted himself so he could go lower, until he guided you on your back again. He trailed his kisses from your neck to your collar bones. His mouth moved lower and when he got to your breasts he started biting and sucking on your skin.

"Seonghwa, love..." You murmured, worried about the others seeing the hickeys.

"Don't worry. I won't leave any in visible places." He kissed where he bit. He left scattered little marks of your breasts and along your stomach, kissing each one when he was done while his hands caressing your body. When he was finished he took a moment admire all the little marks he left in his wake and you knew they would show up more prominently tomorrow. He smirked as he stared at your body.

You let out a soft gasp when you feel his mouth latch onto your left nipple. His hand went to your other breast and squeezed your flesh, his fingers played with your other nipple. His eyes looked to your face as he gently sucked and you feel his tongue swirl around the harden bud. He kept his mouth latched to you as if his life depended on it. You comb your fingers through his dark hair which caused him to make a noise similar to a hum. You made a soft moan at the sensation.

He released his mouth with a slight 'pop' noise, a string of saliva still attached to the pebbled skin and his lips. He moved over and repeated the process to your right tit. You let out a soft whine when you felt him gently bite around your nipple, making him chuckle and remove his mouth. He looked down at you with pride on his face, seeing how worked up by his actions you were.

"Too bad we have to be quiet, I would love to hear what noises you make." Seonghwa trailed his fingers down your stomach and shifted so they rested at the hem of your sleep shorts. 

He craved to taste you and further use his tongue on you.

You glance down to where he now sat on your thighs and saw a clear bulge in his pajama bottoms. You bit your bottom lip knowing you weren't fairing any better, you could feel how wet your panties were already. His other hand rested on your hip and he gave you another look. You nodded and appreciated his subtle way of asking for permission. He smiled and started pulling down your shorts and underwear. You raise your hips to help him and soon enough, you were completely bare.

A sense of heat flushed your face at the realization, shivering at the lack of covering over your core. You move to close your legs but Seonghwa's hands gripped your thighs and gently keeps them parted. You saw the tip of his tongue peak out of his mouth. 

"Don't be shy." He breathed, taking in everything. "I'll get fully undressed in a moment... Let me admire you first."

"Seonghwa!" You huffed. The embarrassment you felt was clear as day on your face, which made him smile more. His hands gently squeezed your thighs as he took in how wet you were. He never felt this turned on before, he could feel his cock throbbing against his underwear.

"Let me have a taste first." He murmurs, almost too quietly. He maneuvers himself to lay on his stomach, his arms wrapped around your thighs. His face was mere inches from your soaking cunt and you swear you could feel his breath against you. "May I, my love?"

Your face felt on fire at how seductive he looks right now with his head between your thighs. It was such a turn on to see how eager he was to eat you out and please you. You could feel a sensual heat pooling in your lower belly.

"Hwa, please touch-" You couldn't finish your sentence as you let out a low whimper; Seonghwa licked up your slit with his tongue. He delved in and his tongue flicked over your clit. He practically buried his face in your pussy as he worked your sensitive nub just right. You cover your mouth with your hand as you tried to suppress the noises threatening to escape from your lips.

Seonghwa groaned as he lapped your cunt and messed with your clit. His eyes stayed watching your face and he nearly smirked seeing you cover your mouth. Never had he tasted something sweeter. His arms around your thighs tightened, though he was so tempted to start using his fingers soon. He moved his mouth from your clit, nuzzling his nose against it, before he plunged his tongue into your wet hole. 

"Oh God, Hwa..." You moaned quietly, muffled by your hand. You glance down and see he was still staring at you with his face buried into your cunt. He was devouring you as if you were his last meal. The sounds coming from his mouth on your soaked pussy were downright sinful. The feeling of his warm tongue thrusting inside you with the tip of his nose brushing against your clit felt almost too good. Your other hand found purchase in his dark hair, gently gripping it with your fingers as you start to roll your hips against his face, making him hum. You could feel an orgasm inching closer and closer.

Seonghwa felt euphoric as your started losing yourself to the pleasures he was providing you. He loved the feeling of your hand in his hair and they way your hips moved. He let out a moan of his own as he kept going, paying no mind to the tiredness he felt in his tongue. His mind was only focused on getting you to come. 

Hwa moved one of his arms from holding your thigh, barely moving his mouth off your slit for just a moment, before he went back in with his tongue playing with your clit. You felt him slowly enter one finger, feeling around, before entering a second one given how he further turned you on from his ministrations. He curled his fingers just right inside you as he started thrusting them at steady, quick pace, causing you to nearly cry out. Your voice was strained to stay quiet whilst your hand over your mouth kept it even quieter.

He pulled his mouth away again. 

"That's it, jagiya..." His voice was low and smooth. He resumed his tongues motions on your clit, and the spring that was coiling tightly in your lower stomach finally came undone. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, tossing your head to the side as you whimpered as quietly as you could; you came hard. Seonghwa could feel you clenching around his fingers and he could hardly contain the moan of satisfaction. He slowed his fingers down, prolonging your orgasm, before slowly removing them and his mouth from you. He sat back up on his calves, your juices and his saliva coating his chin.

He slowly inserted the two fingers into his mouth, sucking them clean. Hwa's dark eyes never left your face as he slowly crawled over you. His mouth met yours in a sloppy kiss and you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue. You whimpered softly into the kiss. Your shaking hands gripped his shoulders and you pulled away to take in more air, recovering from your climax.

"How the fuck are you so good at that?" Your frazzled brain had you slip back into English for a moment. Seonghwa laughed and admired your face for a moment. You stared back, your breathing soon falling back into a stable rhythm. 

A thought popped into mind when you glanced down.

You shifted yourself downward ever-so-slightly and placed your hand at the hem of his sweatpants.

"Can I return the favor?" You ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

"You don't have to." He smiled softly as he felt a pleasant shiver up his spine.

"I want to, Hwa." You smile when he then answered a soft 'yes.' You gradually dipped your hand into his sweatpants, your hand going over his underwear. You cup his hard cock, feeling a patch of wetness from precum, and give him a very gentle squeeze. You heard him take in a sharp breath which made you smile and bite your lips. You palm him for a few moments and capture his lips in a heated kiss. His hips rocked, rutting himself against your hand.

You remove your hand from him, leaving him softly whining for your touch again. You guide him to sit up and take your spot against the headboard, not before his sweats underwear joined your discarded clothes on the floor. You smile at his blushed cheeks and ears. You straddle his lap and press yourself against him.

Your hands gently cup his jaw and you lean into a passionate kiss. You could feel his hard erection brush against your pubic mound and lower belly, making him softly moan into your mouth. You repeated what he did to you earlier and started trailing kisses from his lips, all the way down to his collarbones. You had to move yourself continuously to go lower. You didn't dare leave any marks that would be visible, much to your disappointment.

Soon enough you found yourself on your stomach, face dangerously close to his dick. You kept your eyes on his length while you could feel his eyes watching you. In a teasing manner, your fingers gently messed with his velvet-y soft tip. Seonghwa moaned softly and he caressed the side of your head. You collected his precum onto your fingers, letting it coat your your hand, before wrapping your fingers around his shaft. You stroke him at a languid pace and you could feel his member twitch in your hand.

You lean in and place a tentative kiss to the crown of his cock. You glance up and see him watching you intensely while biting his bottom lip. You give him a few teasing licks before slowly engulfing him into your mouth. What you couldn't fit comfortably in your mouth you used your hand on as your slowly bobbed your head, hollowing your cheeks in the process.

Seonghwa let out a low moan and swallowed hard at the sensation around his cock. His hands could hardly stay still. He managed to keep one against the side of your head but his other hand caressed and gently squeezed your shoulder, his fingers brushing against your neck. Your tongue would swirl around the tip as you continued to move your head. You couldn't exactly look up at him from where you were but you could tell by just how hard he was breathing he was feeling good.

"You're so beautiful..." Hwa tilted his head back against his headboard and quietly moaned. His eyes peered down at the sight of you with your now swollen lips around his cock. He admired how your nude body looked right now and he wanted to reach down and give your ass a firm squeeze. You bobbed faster, taking him in a little deeper, and it nearly drove him crazy. Seonghwa's hand found itself on the back of your head. He gently guided your head but didn't push down harshly.

He carefully took hold of your head in both hands and lifted your head, stopping you from sucking him off.

"Something wrong?" You swallow and sit up.

"If you kept going I wouldn't have lasted." Hwa helped you sit up on your knees and pulled you into a tender kiss. "I wanted to go further, if you want to."

"I want to but," You murmur against his lips. "Well, this may be a bad time to ask but do you have condoms?" He chuckles and rests his head against your collarbones. He placed a soft kiss to your neck, moving away from you and getting off the bed. You watched him walk to his closet and reach inside on the upper shelf. He grabbed a box near the back and came back, sitting on the edge of the bed. In his hands was an unopen box of condoms.

"Before you think I was presumptuous with these, Mingi and Woo bought them for me before your visit." He snorts. "I think they are the right size... I'll be slightly concerned if they are."

"I'm on birth control if we just want to forget the condoms-"

"If they make you more comfortable, I will wear one for you." He gave you a reassuring smile and looked over the box. Hwa hummed softly as he opened the box, taking out a wrapped condom. He tore open the rapper and slid on the condom with ease. He then kissed you deeply, moving you back on your back. You didn't need words to know where things were going now.

Seonghwa placed one of his pillows under your lower back and helped maneuver you into position, his hands gripping the backs of your thighs. He teased you by dragging his tip up and down your slit. You whine softly and playfully tapped him with your foot, making him laugh.

"Alright, jagiya." He smirked and lined himself up at your entrance. Slowly he pushed himself inside, inch by inch, until he was fully buried inside. You moaned quietly as he deliciously filled you up while he groaned, feeling pleasant tightness and heat around his length. Your hands squeezed his shoulders briefly as you took a moment to adjust. He stayed motionless for a few moments and you both were enjoying the moment. "Feels good."

"Move, Hwa." You pleaded, desperate to chase a second orgasm. His hands found themselves holding your hips as he pulled almost all the way out and, languidly, he rolled his hips forward.

His thrusts were slow and sensual to start, slowly building up that arousal between you both again. His cock gently massaged your walls and it felt so good. You were having a hard time already keeping your noises at bay... you were worried you wouldn't be able to stay quiet if he went faster. Still, you crave more.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, his voice slightly hoarse and strained.

"Feeling good... Feeling really good." You moaned. You wanted to feel more. You threw out those previous concerns. Your voice was a hushed whisper, but the needy tone was clear. "Faster, love."

"Of course." Hwa rasped. You feel him pull out, making you whine. He softly cooed and re-adjusted himself and yourself so his face was barely above yours. Your hips were at more of an angle now with your legs folded into your chest and your calves on his lower back. Your arms were loosely around his neck.

Seonghwa captured your lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue rolling against yours, as he entered you with one quick thrust. Your moan was muffled by his mouth or else it would have been loudered than you meant.  His set a quick rhythm as his hips snapped against you, the not-so-subtle sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the small room. His cock was hitting a new, deeper angle and it felt amazing.

You both broke from the kiss to breath. You bit your bottom lip in an attempt to control your whimpers and moans.

"Shh... you're doing so well." Hwa praised, his voice a hushed whisper by your ear. Though his own moans and groans indicated to you he was also struggling to stay quiet.

"Hwa-!" You cried softly. You feel his arm move and next thing you knew his hand was cradling the back of your head, pushing your face into the crook of his neck. He pressed his upper half against yours, further folding your body together, as he fucked you at a fast tempo. Your noises were muffled by his flesh and you could feel the vibrations of his strained moans against your face. You could feel heat slowly crawling up your legs and you knew a second orgasm was close.

"God, I'm close, love." You murmur, your lips brushing against his hot skin.

"Me too, jagiya... Me too." Seonghwa whispered. "Can... Can I come on you?"

As you were about to speak Hwa just barely shifted his hips, his cock hitting your g-spot just right.

"Y-yes!" Your moan was low. The build up had you feeling like your nerves were on fire. You felt your breathing quicken a numbness-like feeling crawl up your legs

You pushed your face further into Seonghwa as waves of pleasure washed over you. You choked out moans against him and without realizing, you bit on his flesh. Your body trembled and your walls clenched around his length as you came hard.

Seonghwa continued his thrusts, though you can tell he was just about to lose it too. You felt your muscles twitch and tremble with every stroke of his hips as he prolonged your orgasm. Hwa is chasing his own release and you could feel his thrusts getting sloppier and his moans were getting huskier.

Suddenly, he pulled out of you, your walls fluttering around nothing. He got the wet condom off of his length and he moved his upper half to hover over you. You watch, nearly breathless, as he strokes his cock at a fast pace. He lets your lower half drop against his thighs. His eyes stayed trained on your dazed face, biting his bottom lip.

Seonghwa's body went rigid and soft, whiney moans escaped his lips. You can see eyes roll slightly back as he came. Pearly white ropes of his cum lands on your stomach and chest, a little even lands on your neck. He slowed his hand down as he came, stopping once all of his seed was out.

You both were breathless, feeling hot and tired. Seonghwa moved and let your body lay straight down before he hovered over you again. His lips met yours in another kiss. It was soft and tender, full of love and adoration.

"How are you feeling, jagiya?" He asks softly, kissing your cheek and forehead. "Do you need something? A warm towel? Some water?"

"All of the above, love." You lazily smile, making him laugh.

"I like you using that English pet name for me."

"I thought was fitting with you using a Korean pet name." There was a pause in the conversation. "I think we need a shower actually."

"Agreed, I made a mess." He gave you a cheeky look, as if he was proud of himself, lifting himself up to sit on his calves. His eyes roamed your body with a small smirk tugging on his lips. "You look beautiful."

"I'm covered in sweat, cum, and probably look like a mess." You deadpanned.

"And you still look beautiful." He smiled and placed a chaste kiss to your lips. He got up off the bed and slowly helped you to your feet. He grabbed you some new clothes from your suitcase before grabbing clothes for himself. "Mingi should still be asleep, so we need to be quick."

"You... You want us to go out in the rest of the dorm and to the bathroom without any clothes on?" He simply nodded and you sighed but nodded. You didn't want clothes on right now until you were clean. 

Seonghwa peaked his head out of the room, noticing all the lights were still off. With haste, the two of you get to the bathroom with ease. Hwa started the shower and you both waited for it to warm up. Your fingers trace the small red mark you left right by his right collarbone.

"Hopefully that doesn't linger. I'm sorry, I tried not to leave any marks on you." You mused, not sounding all too apologetic.

"I don't care if it does linger. Idol image be damned." He joked. "Come, the water should be warm now."

The shower was quick but it was very much needed after an intense moment. Seonghwa took it upon himself to wash you off. His hands gently caressed your skin, his gaze on you was caring. You closed your eyes whilst savoring the moment. 

It was sweet and it made you two all the more closer. 

---

You groaned, covered in sweat, in the dance studio. Wooyoung insisted you join him, Yuhno, and Mingi for dance practice while the others were off doing lives or something else. You probably would be in better shape to dance if you weren't feeling the least bit sore from last nights activities with Seonghwa. They were teaching you the choreography to Wave in an easy manner, but the ache in your hips and legs made it difficult.

"What's the matter, (Y/N)?" Mingi chuckled, handing you a water bottle. He and the others were sweating, but they weren't

"I don't know how you guys dance like this all the time." You pant and take a sip of water.

"We are teaching it to you slowly though, you seem more tired." Wooyoung remarked. He approached you and placed both hands on your cheeks, his eyes scanning over your face.

"I'm fine, just a little tired is all." You move out of his hold and gave his shoulder a gentle pat. He gave you  a inquisitive look but dropped it. 

After a small pause, the dancing resumed. Yuhno stood by you as he taught you the next steps. The move had you moving your arms up in the air and you followed almost perfectly. Though, when you repeated the motions your hand caught the hem of your loose shirt, exposing some of your midriff. You hoped that no one in the room saw your blemished skin from a particularly big hickey Hwa left on you. However, hoping got you nothing.

"(Y/N), what the hell happened?" Woo gasped. "Why do you have a bruise on your hip?"

Your face flushed with warmth and you saw Yuhno in the mirror press his lips together as he tried not to laugh. Clearly, he immediately figured out were the mark came from. Mingi also looked at you in concern. You wanted to send a glare to Yuhno but kept your cool. 

"I needed to use the bathroom last night and bumped into the handle in the dark is all." You replied smoothly.

"Dummy." Woo laughed and so did Mingi.

"I didn't realize you were so clumsy, (Y/N)." Yuhno teased. You rolled your eyes and insisted they keep teaching you the choreography before you die from embarrassment. 

---

Seonghwa and Hongjoong finished up their live together. Hwa had fun though he wanted to help teach you a dance to one of their songs. He and Joong got up from the table in the small room and left with the staff member who was behind the camera. The two went off on their own to Hongjoongs little studio room.

"Something happened between you and (Y/N) last night, huh?" The younger male asked with a teasing tone. 

"What? No." Hwa replied, almost too quickly, as he took a seat in one of the chairs.

"I can tell by your eyes-"

"What can you tell now?" The eldest quirked his brow and gave his friend a glare, his ears and neck started to blush.

"Oh... did you two..." There was a mischievous look in Joong's eyes.

"Kim Hongjoong, do not finish that sentence." Hwa leaned back in the chair, not realizing the motion pulled his shirt in a way where the collar of his shirt exposed more of his skin.

"Well if that little mark right there didn't confirm it for me, your reaction did. Congratulations." Hongjoong teased. Seonghwa looked down and quickly readjusted his shirt more. His face felt on fire as he looked to his friend with a flustered glare. "Sorry, my teasing may have went a little far there. I'll buy you some ice cream as an apology."

"Two ice creams."

"Fine."

---

It was nearly time for you to head out to the airport. Ateez's manager texted everyone earlier he was on his way to the dorms to get you. Wooyoung practically clinged to you as you sat on the couch while Seonghwa's hand lingered on your knee. Everyone was already throwing out ideas and plans for when you could visit next. You felt sadness knowing you were going away after having an amazing week with them... you were going back to your job and your classes across the Pacific ocean. 

Another text came and their manager was outside the door. He told you in his message he will give you guys time to say goodbye. 

You stood up by the door and everyone practically lined up to see you off. First was Yuhno.

"It was fun having you here. We should do dance video calls, you were fun to teach and dance with." He smiles and pats your head before hugging you. 

"Yeah we definitely should." You reach up and ruffle his hair making him laugh. Next up was Sannie.

"I'm going to miss you. Please, visit as soon as you can." He had a large grin, eyes full of unshed tears, as he pulls you into a tight hug.

"I will definitely try." You say softly in his ear, returning the tightness of his hug. Mingi approached you next.

"I'll definitely miss your presence in the dorms." Minig hugged you, his hands patting your back.

You pulled away and smiled. "It's going to be hard not having one of my favorite giants around anymore." That made him and Yuhno laugh. Hongjoong was up next.

"If you ever need something, (Y/N), don't hesitate to call me." He placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it. He then gave you a quick hug as well.

"You too, Joong. I'm all ears if you need something." 

Next in line was Yeosang.

"I'm glad we got to spend more time together." He spoke softly with a kind smile, hugging you. "Please visit us again, I liked having you around over those two." He pointed to Wooyoung and San, teasing them both as they looked fake offended.

"Of course, Yeosang." You laughed as he joined the others.

"Ah, it was nice having you with us, (Y/N)." Jongho smiled. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. "Hopefully I can call you when I am doing my vocal practices?"

"Of course you can... Would you like a hug goodbye?" You asked him and he nodded. You two hugged and you took a mental note of how nice his hugs were. It was brief but he gave you another smile and stood off to the side.

You nearly lost your balance when Wooyoung hugged you tightly, his cheek pressed against yours. You chuckled and held him tightly, neither of you said anything. You could feel his shoulders shake ever-so-slightly.

"Aww, Woo, don't cry. You'll make me cry." You cooed softly.

"I'm not crying." He mumbled and pulled away. He had tears in his eyes as he smiled. "We'll text everyday, right? Even if it's just a random meme or a simple hello?"

"Of course." You rubbed his back as he hugged you again. He reluctantly moved away and stood with the others.

Now it was just Seonghwa left.

He slowly approached you and those who didn't figure out what happened between you two watched in bated breaths.

"This isn't goodbye, you know?" You ask softly as you noticed his eyes were also close to leaking tears. You could feel the stinging sensation in your own eyes as you stared at his face.

"I know." He replied with a smile. He took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze. "Still, I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Hwa." You smiled and he stepped away. You glance over to the others and saw how disappointed Wooyoung, Mingi, Yeosang, and Jongho looked. You look back to Hwa with a slight smirk. "You want to tell them or show them?" You say quietly, making him laugh.

Seonghwa stepped forward again and immediately cupped your cheeks, brining you into a kiss. You heard Wooyoung and Mingi exclaim in surprise and you just knew Jongho and Yeosang looked shocked. The eldest pulled away and peppered light kisses to your face. 

"Alright, love. I think they get the idea." You giggle, your face feeling flush with warmth.

"What?" Wooyoung shouted. "How long- When did-." He was almost in shock. "And neither of you told me?!"

"I figured it out first." San said smuggled.

"No, I think I did." Hongjoong playfully crossed his arms. The two were about to start bickering but then a certain someone spoke up first.

"I actually did the night they got together finally." Yuhno said with a smug tone. "I walked in on them." That made even more chaos and loudness between everyone now.

"Yuhno!" You nearly shrieked from embarrassment, poor Seonghwa's face was pink. "You didn't need to word it like that."

"What? You said I had bragging rights for being the first to know." He teased. 

"He simply saw us kissing." Hwa tried to clear up.

Wooyoung started to scold you for keeping this from him but he expressed his happiness for the both of you. You felt bad for their manager, who was still outside the door and could probably hear all the commotion. 

"Can we say we told you both so, now?" Yeosang asked with a raised brow, making you and Seonghwa groan. Despite the teasing and the 'we told you so's' coming out, you and Hwa were happy. Hongjoong and San still argued between who out of the two of them figured it out first.

You held his hand and leaned against him as you both observed the rest of Ateez. Despite the embarrassment of their statements and jokes, you two felt satisfied at having one over on most of them. That lingering sadness was no more despite your soon departure. Never did you think you would have such a close knit friend group like this nor did you think you could find someone as lovely as Seonghwa to be your partner.

All thanks to some high turnip prices and a little squirrel in a video game.

-----

Taglist: @stopeatread @hee0soo @tridkeys @pocketjoong-reads @seonghwaddict @lelaleleb @acciocriativity @h-nji

[torqxx]

Any wishes for my birthday today?

Psst! I have a hc of Yanqing of mine!

Yanqing actually pulled up alot alot of All nighters, To train and get better, But one day while he was training with the cloud knights in the morning, He suddenly fainted and had to be hospitalized.

And after that, Jing yuan made a whole sleep schedule for him, Making sure the boy got enough sleep and didn't pull any all nighters.

HAAPPPYY BIRTHDAYY!!!! may your journey be forever peaceful, and your schemes forever concealed !!!

I LOVE THAT HC CAUSE I HAVE THAT TOO LMAO. just not the second part

to me yanqing is tje type of kid to wake up at 4 am in the morning to start training. "The early bird catches the worm" and all that! and sure i'll incorporate jing yuan making yq a sleep schedule into my hc list

[spenglersweetheart]

Sooooo

Idea and it’s angsty

Egon is trying to pull an all nighter and reader comes in to try get him to come to bed. When Egon is tired and working he’s snappy and mean. And sometimes that carries over to the next day. So when reader tries getting him to bed he yells at them, how his work is more important and then continues working. Reader of course holds it in and gets dressed leaving the firehouse and idk something angsty happens and the last thing Egon has from them is a voicemail the next morning of them phoning from a telephone box sobbing and crying begging for him to come get them

Oh my god my heart ... are you trying to make me cry LMAO

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Last Call

Egon Spengler x Reader

WARNINGS : angst, a slight mention of a kidnapping, and an abusive ex

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" EGON, PLEASE COME PICK ME UP, HE'S AFTER ME HE'S── NO, STOP, STOP, STOP! "

THOSE ARE THE LAST WORDS THAT EGON HEAR from you and he wasn't even within your range. It was a voicemail. He hears those words, regretting everything. Regretting that he even snapped at you in the first place. He snapped at you and you left. Knowing that he could've prevented that left him with such heartache. He knew that the police were trying everything to find you. But half of him started to give up hope.

He backtracks to that night. He keeps thinking about it in his head. You walked into the laboratory that night and you still saw that he was awake. You knew that he had been working for a while. And you knew Egon. He would pull an all nighter if he had to. But you didn't want them to do that.

You manage to wrap your arms around him. That would be the last time you would be able to touch him if they didn't find you. You look at him. The words ring through his mind.

"Egon, honey," you say to him, "You've been working all night. I think you should resume in the morning."

"Can't," he simply replied back, "I have to get this done."

He stands up, which makes you loosen your grip on him. You watch as he walks to the other side of the laboratory. You follow him, watching as he stressfully worked. You hated seeing him like this. You wanted him to just relax, even if it had been for a while.

"I'm sure it can wait," You tell him, "I know you're tired. Besides, I don't want you to become sleep deprived. You're already on the verge of that."

You sound worried, but Egon only sees it as an excuse to get him away from his work. He turned to look at you. You can tell he's a bit agitated.

"I said I can't," he says, his tone is rougher than usual, more mean, "My work is much more important and I would like to get it done."

You're speechless. He's never said anything like that, not even when he's agitated. In all honesty, it hurts a lot. But, you held it in. You bit your tongue.

You ended up leaving the laboratory. You got dressed, and you left the Firehouse. When you leave it's usually to get your emotions out. You just start walking, and you pretty much end up at the nearest bar to drink your sorrows away.

You're on about your third drink when you catch something in the glimpse of your eye. They widen once they find who it is. You down the rest of your drink and try to escape from there as fast as you can. You can see that the man, the abusive ex boyfriend from years back, the one you had a restraining order against, was trying to get to you.

He had bumped into you on purpose. He had almost blocked you from the door but you managed to escape from that bar. You lose them for a while, and you find the nearest telephone box. You immediately close the door and you grab the phone, quickly dialing Egon's number.

Tears started to run down your face as the voicemail kicks in. You needed him in that moment he was not there. Your ex boyfriend had won.

And Egon didn't have anything left of you but a voicemail that you left on his machine. And that had been his worst nightmare.

[joshusten]

love me in spite (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Guy and Honey get into an argument early into their relationship.

(angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, fluff)

3k+ words [ao3 link here!] [masterlist]

[CW and notes: swearing, arguing, insecurities, overthinking, breakdowns, descriptive?? crying?? I think??, idk they’re both having a bad time. probably a lot of grammatical errors lmao. also honey is implied to be empowered!!]

Honey doesn't remember the last time they felt like this, but they’ve always known their personality would bite them in the ass someday.

“Aww, is my beloved mad again? Oh, pray tell, which heinous crime did I commit this time, officer? Robbery? Public indecency?” Guy stroked his chin, pretending to rack up his mind on any possible offense he could have made. “Hm…jaywalking?"

“Guy.”

“Oh! Or maybe—just maybe—it was wanting my ever-so-affectionate lover to stop their pretty head from fussing over me?”

"Guy, can’t you take this seriously for once?” 

“But I am! It’s just not that big of a deal, baby! Look, a manuscript can’t just write itself, y’know? Especially one with a little flair from yours truly!”

“You haven’t slept properly for days now, you work overnight most of the time, and on your days off you pull all-nighters writing!” 

“Oh, you’re one to talk!”

“Well, this one’s more serious! I haven’t even seen you eat a proper meal and anything I offer you gets left out cold!”

They continued to have a back-and-forth confrontation, voices raising and words getting crueler as time goes on, with both parties not intending to back down anytime soon. Honey thought it was the first time they ever heard Guy let out an actual annoyed scoff and they noticed the slightest change in his demeanor. 

“Jesus, Honey. Of all the times you can finally act like you care for me, why now? Hm?” There was a playful smile on his face. It almost made them believe he was still joking around but his words were laced with an unmistakable annoyance.

But something inside Honey snapped. Their chest tightened at the thought of their partner thinking they didn’t care. They felt themselves flinch from the comment and Guy seemed to notice that too as his smile drops. “Shit. Honey, I didn’t–”

“I’m–,” They scrambled to get their bag, keys, wallet, anything they would need because they just want to be anywhere but here.“I’m going out. Let’s finish this later. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

They didn’t mean that. Didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. Then again, they don’t mean to sound so harsh most of the time but end up doing so either way. Grumpy. Mean. Intimidating. A common descriptor from most people. But Guy wasn’t like most people. ‘Unless,’ they think, ‘That was just a lie you told yourself to believe in.’

Honey shuts the door behind them, leaving the building and the warmth of their partner.

The pain in their chest almost distracts them from the exhaustion currently catching up to their body after a long day. They can feel the telltale signs of a migraine coming as they rub their temples gingerly with one hand, the other guiding the steering wheel. ‘Damn, it started to rain too. What a great way to lighten the mood,’ they think bitterly. Their mind eventually goes back to the fight earlier.

“Of all the times you finally can act like you care for me, why now? Hm?”

They do care. They care for him so much it scares them . He knows that, right? Even if they groan at his flirtatious quips and innuendos or if they grumble at his (very creative) attempts to give them as many hugs and kisses as they would allow, he knows that that’s just how they are, right? 

Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe that never was enough to begin with. Maybe Guy finally realized he deserves better than an ill-tempered partner who doesn’t even know how to properly show any affection to their own fucking boyfriend.

A sharp car horn snaps them out of their thoughts. Shit, it’s a green light. They continue to drive until they see the familiar soft glow of a nearby 7-Eleven sign despite the persistent rain. 

Honey's entrance was signaled with the chime of the bell above the glass door. It’s relatively empty save for what they recognize to be a few D.A.M.N. students buying some late-night study snacks. Walking through the aisles while the pop song they heard their partner hum before softly plays in the background, slowly but surely calming them down. Muscle memory makes Honey reach for Guy’s favorite snack and they wonder how he’s doing. 

---

Guy doesn't remember the last time he felt like this, but he’s always known his personality would bite him in the ass someday.

Sure, he and Honey had their disagreements, but they were all accompanied by playful slaps and teasing laughter. Never had it gotten to the point of an actual argument that caused them to spit such venom toward each other like the one they just had. 

“I’m going out. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

The door closes and Honey leaves, bringing the warmth of their shared apartment with them. Guy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and starts to get to work. He wordlessly distracts himself by cleaning the living room—picking up stray plastic chip bags, vacuuming crumbs that settled on the cheap shag carpet, and fixing up the pillows on the couch that he’s been nesting on for the past few days while he works on the final draft of the project he was writing. 

Piles of paper littered their second-hand coffee table. Every inch is covered in Post-it notes and wrinkled pieces of paper filled with ideas that he had haphazardly scribbled in an attempt to record them before it leaves his mind. Most of them, he recalls, are just random doodles of spirals and honeybees that he absentmindedly drew as he was typing away on his laptop. The spaces left exposed on the table were adorned with faded mug rings on the old dark oak wood.

He tries to compile them into a neater collection, pausing as he notices a doodle he made of his Honey. It was far from a masterpiece, but the cute cartoony style paired with heavily exaggerated furrowed brows in order to replicate their partner’s usual expression pulls a smile from his lips. There was even a jumbled-up line inside a small text bubble next to it to symbolize the adorable grumbles they always make. 

Fuck, he misses them so fucking much.

A sudden wave of exhaustion almost makes him drop the stack of papers he’s holding and it dawns on him how much he really has been neglecting his own health for this project. The stress of trying to find a job where he can utilize his degree and finally get out of that godforsaken pizza place has been taking a toll on him. All Honey was trying to do was for him to take a break that he so desperately ( and, he embarrassingly admits, unknowingly ) needed. And he just treated it like some silly joke. Granted, it really was because he wasn’t used to being coddled after, but, it definitely wasn’t an excuse to dismiss their worries like that. 

The guilt builds up in Guy’s throat like bile. He feels worse now, especially considering how much they struggle with expressing themselves like that to him in general, even if they don’t say it aloud.

He finishes cleaning up but the restlessness doesn’t leave him as time passes by with no word from his partner. Maybe this is it? Maybe he fucked it all up like always? Maybe they finally came to their senses and got fed up with him. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think he was a bit too much. Too chaotic, too irritating, too overwhelming. He ever minded those comments in the first place, but the thought of Honey possibly thinking like that too makes him sick. 

It’s getting late and he can hear the rain outside get louder. The anxiety that has been settling in their stomach flares up. He reaches for his phone to message them before concluding they might not want to be bothered right now. Shit, he’s feeling a little sluggish. 

Guy begrudgingly trudges to the wardrobe of their shared bedroom to get a change of clothes. He glances over as he pulls a familiar-looking hoodie from the hanger. Their double bed, adorned with a pizza plushie that Honey had given to him as a joke gift, was more inviting than usual. Maybe he should just take a rest and go to sleep. 

No, no, no, they might want some space from that too. Guy wants to talk this out with them instead of sleeping it out. If this persists, he isn't sure how his poor heart could take it. He ultimately decides to go back to the couch, stay up, and (at the very least) greet them when they come back. 

If they come back. God, please come back.

What if they don’t?

The thought felt like a mere whisper in his head but it left him numb. Guy's aware of his tendency to overthink but before he knew it, he was lying down on his side, hand clamped to his mouth as he forced his eyes shut. He lets out a quiet sniff. His breath hitches. Then he hears himself choke out a small sob. 

Then another.

And another. 

And another.

The dam breaks, his eyes water and he heaves as much air as he can into his lungs. It suddenly became a struggle to breathe and it definitely became a struggle to calm the ugly thoughts that plague his mind. Shaky, broken sobs fill the room, he cringes at how pathetic it sounds.  He hates this. He hates this feeling. Just come back, I’m sorry.

After what felt like hours, his sniffles slowly died down. With heavy eyes and a heavier heart, he finds himself drowsy from all the crying. The hot tears streaming down his face had begun to dry, but, the warmth on his cheeks reminds him of his Honey and the thought of them finally lulls him to sleep.

---

Honey returns, a little haggard but with a calmer mind. The drive around Dahlia and their quick run to the local convenience store definitely helped lighten their mood but the guilt still followed them around like a shadow. Shaky hands find their way to the lock of their shared apartment and Honey opens to a dim living room, with the forgotten hanging bulbs from the kitchen barely providing a sense of light. They noticed the place was tidier than they remembered.

It was eerily quiet, as well. The wrinkling sound of the paper bag that they were holding filled the room.

"Guy?" Fuck, they can hear their voice getting wobbly. 

"I'm home. You there?" A shift from the room was all they heard accompanied by a sniffle. Honey suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the soft snores matching the rise and fall of a figure on the couch.

They couldn't really explain why their heart started to pound with their pulsating headache. Why they made a beeline inside their apartment. Why they started to get down on their knees in the living room despite the protests of their tired body. Why their chest sank deeper as they saw their partner all bundled up on their battered couch. 

They don't miss the frown on his face and his tear-stained cheeks.

Fuck. Tears? Guy was crying? 

Honey quietly (urgently) sets down the paper bag from their grasp and slowly places a hand on his shoulder, patting it ever so gently.

"H-hey? Guy, what are you doing over here?" They noticed how cold they felt to the touch and remembered their thermostat wasn't working that well. "It's freezing. You're freezing. "

After a few gentle pats and caresses (and reminders of how it's cold here, the bed is warm. Take it, please. ) Guy manages to blearily open his eyes, rubbing away the sleepiness and the few tears that managed to slip.

Cute. His eyes are so cute. Honey would have thought if their mind wasn't filled with thoughts and questions. Why was he sleeping on the couch? Was he waiting for me? He didn't need to do that. Why was he crying? Did he cry himself to sleep? Was it because of me?

Did I do this?

"Honey?" Guy's voice croaked and Honey's heart aches after hearing how hoarse it was. It aches a little more to see him smile at them despite the argument they had earlier.

"You're back…" he mumbles, slightly adjusting his body to prop himself up with his arm. He was wearing their hoodie again.

"Guy, why are you sleeping here? It's cold," they repeated, the worry in their tone becoming more and more evident. 

This had Guy fully sitting up, giving his full attention to their Honey with a slight grin that was preparing to give out a smug reply before dropping his smile and deciding otherwise. If he noticed that their eyes were starting to get just as glassy as his, he didn't mention it. “I-I mean, you’re…mad, right? I thought you’d want some more space from me or something…” 

“N-no! I mean, yeah, thank you for that but that doesn't—” Honey cuts themselves off with a groan. Why can’t I just say what I want to say? What do I even want to say? Guy immediately notices their partner’s frustration and sits down beside them.

“Hey, hey, it's okay. You’re okay, Honey,” he says with a reassuring smile and slowly raises his hand near their cheek, “Can I touch?” 

Honey immediately nods, almost melting at Guy’s warm hands. The familiar calluses from working countless graveyard shifts and delivery jobs all over Dahlia for Max’s kept them grounded. They notice a newly formed bump on the ring finger of his dominant hand from the number of handwritten notes he’s been doing recently.

After a few moments of soft breaths and the sound of Guy's rough thumb gently gliding across their cheek, Honey let out a weak laugh but the words that followed were by no means a joke to them. “You’re so good for me.” Too good. I don’t deserve you. 

It was Guy’s turn to let out a confused chuckle. He felt anything but good to them at the moment.

“What do you mean by that, hon?” He caresses their cheek and he forgets how much his chest hurts when his Honey leans into his touch. “Hey, c’mon. Do you…do you wanna talk about what happened?”

Honey nods once more. "I'm…I'm sorry," they choke out as if the words got caught up in their throat. Everything was overwhelming again. The sound of the remains of the rain, the ticks of the wall clock, and most of all, Guy's unwavering attention to them. They avoid his gaze. 

"I know that…I'm…I dont have the most…pleasant attitude," The nervousness in their tone was obvious but the quick squeeze of their hand from their partner was enough for them to go on. "And I know that you didn’t mean that. About me…not caring,” They felt him give another squeeze, a bit tighter than the last. “Fuck, god knows you’ve put up with me long enough for me to know you wouldn’t mean that.” 

Honey manages to finally look him in his eyes again, they think it's their favorite color. “I…I just don’t know why I act like this. Why can't I just…care for you in a normal way.”

“Oh, Honey…” 

“I’m just so fucking sorry. I really, really care for you, please know that,” they sob out. Guy thinks he’s never seen them this vulnerable. His arms slowly circle and stop around their body as if he was waiting for their permission but Honey beats them to the embrace, burying their head on his chest. He knows they can hear his heart speed up.

“Hey, I know, I know,” The hands that were once on his partner's cheeks find their way to their back, rubbing circles and tracing shapes. “I’m really sorry for what I said too. The stress from work and writing these past few days is catching up but please don’t let that ever be an excuse for me to talk like that, especially to you and especially if it makes you think of all these lies.”

“And all this talk about…caring for me in the ‘normal’ way. Don’t say that.” Guy slowly pulls away to tilt his partner's chin up for their eyes to meet again. The way his Honey looked so distressed was a sight he decided he never wants to see again. “What matters is that I know you care and I want you to know that the way you show it is… fuck, I’ve never felt so cared for like this until you, Honey. Okay?”

“I’ll work…on not neglecting my health too. If it weren’t for you, I might’ve actually collapsed from exhaustion,” he adds, lips upturned into a sheepish smile. “So, thank you.”

Guy isn’t prepared for the way their Honey finally graced him with a soft smile. He’s had them laugh and grin at his…eccentric behavior before, but this smile held so much fondness and sincerity (directed towards him of all people! ) that made this moment all the more intimate. 

I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack. He doesn't recall having butterflies for lunch but he definitely feels them flutter up and about in his ribcage. He wants to treasure this moment. He wants to treasure them.

Honey looks down, uncharacteristically flustered and Guy’s heart soars again. “Thank you,” they whispered. “For that.”

“Of course, Honey. Though, I must say,” he grins. “Although your methods of conveying your love for me are a bit… unconventional , you could say I’m on the more bizarre side, too. I guess we make a perfect match after all then, don't we?”

Honey snorts, a reaction that's endearingly familiar to him and he smirks even wider. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Well, for the record, if anybody here is fucking stupid, it would be you!” Guy shoots back, “Hi, hello, I’m stupid, by the way, ehh– Ow, ow, ow!”

The pair continues to laugh and banter at each other like before, but, as they comfortably settle down to cuddle on the couch, they both don’t miss the way the grip on their entangled hands tightened for the slightest bit.

---

hope you enjoyed!! please let me know if i had any mistakes or just some feedback in general!! i kinda wanna continue doing these kinda stuff :DD

[kairiscorner]

not a request but this just came to mind (　-∀-)

have you ever considered that miles and pav would give LEGO flowers to their s/o? ( ＾ω＾ )

it's 8:13pm and i'm staring at the ceiling headcanoning this and i had to share i'm so sorry 😭

-sincerely, the 🧋 anon !!

HI LOVELY !! OMG YES ........ i think pav wouldn't even need an instructional video, he'd just ask you what your favorite flower is, google up a photo of it, AND BUILD IT WITH ALL THE LEGOS HE HAS LMAO

his aunt maya would definitely ask him why he'd pull an all-nighter just "playing" with legos, but he'd tell her in the most dramatic ass fashion: "they're legos of LOVE, aunt maya! i NEED to get this done perfectly for them!"

AND MILES, OMG, i think he'd be such a lego kid LMAO he'd def experiment with the legos and make you a whole BOUQUET his parents would catch him just working over at his desk with a shitton of legos and tell him to go to bed or work on his homework before that at least, and miles'd just say "inaminit" and try making sure the bouquet is as creative and popping with love and colors <33 or if he was working on it in his dorm, ganke would look over and help him out (he is the best wingman ever you cannot tell me otherwise)

+ they both cry inside and outside when their hard work falls over and....... they have to start from the VERY BEGINNING ALL OVER AGAIN; ganke consoles miles by awkwardly patting him on the back, muttering: 'i told you we should've used my heavy duty glue... it solves all your problems.'

[vinsmokewife]

misery / chapter one

Sequel to Who Is This Person Nine months after the catfishing incident and Sanji still can't catch a break. After a major arguement with Zoro on the night of his birthday, Zoro breaks it off entirely claiming to have found someone new. Sanji moves on and meets Charlotte Pudding, a popular food infulencer, whom he develops a superficial but pleasant relationship with. However, news gets around that Zoro goes missing and Sanji can't help but dig into what happened. read on ao3

authors note: Well shit. After my much-needed hiatus, I am back with a sequel to Who Is This Person? Sorry for the delay in this story, I tend to have a relationship with One Piece where I binge 200 episodes then don’t watch it for a year. A lot has happened recently. I had a mental breakdown, it was incredibly suicidal and I'm currently in recovery from that. The Counseller I'm seeing while I’m waiting for a diagnosis said I should go back to writing fanfiction (as my last happy period was when I started this account) I was also really into JJK for a while but I’m dwindling back into One Piece. Sorry, this is who I am XD Anyway, all that aside, I’m so excited to be working on this story again. I really enjoyed writing Who Is This Person so I’m here to give you all Misery.

The buzzing of his phone brought Sanji into alertness. He had been pulling an all nighter studying for his exams and only the incessant beeping of his mobile device could bring him out of it. He looked at the clock seeing that it was two in the afternoon. He had slept in quite significantly. 

A lot had happened since the so called ‘Zoey incident’. That was nearly a year ago now. Nine months exactly. In the aftermath, Sanji tried to move on with his life. He had a renewed sense of vigor about his ambitions and wanted to climb higher. Sanji had been nonstop pestering Zeff about being made a sous chef. See, he was fine with just being a regular chef, but he saw himself aiming a bit higher. Zeff...as always said no. The old man never directly said any of this, but he didn’t want Sanji to become tied down the Baratie. Again, Zeff never said this but always seemed to push Sanji to explore more options. He wanted him to aim higher than being here.  

Culinary School seemed like the next step which...had kept him busy. Enrolling had kept him busy. Classes, assignments and then the practical tests seemed to consume his time more than working at the Baratie ever had. He sometimes almost forgot about nine months ago. 

Almost 

It took Sanji a few moments to wake up fully as he sat up in his bedroom. He still lived in the same place. He looked out of the window from where he was sitting. He didn’t intend on leaving his room today. But once he felt ready to see the message, he grabbed his yawn and with a big yawn and a stretch, he was ready to open the message. It was from Luffy. It had been a few days since he had seen Luffy.  He hadn’t been working nights, so he didn’t even get to see Luffy that way. Every now and then, Luffy will send messages begging for Sanji to close so he can come and take the food he used to almost a year ago. 

L: SANJI 

L: ANSWER ME 

L: angryface angryface 

L: WHERE ARE YOU? 

And the rest of the messages were angry gifs and angry faces. Sanji watched them roll in. It seemed that Luffy had been trying to get a hold of him. It wasn’t long before Sanji replied. 

S: Sorry I was asleep. 

S: What do you want? 

L: LMAO were you sleeping during the day? 

S: Some of us are busy and work.  

L: I WORK 

S: Bothering Shanks at his job doesn’t count as work. 

L: > : ( 

S: Okay. What did you message me for? 

L: I need you at the Baratie! Tonight. 7. 

S: I’m not working at 7 just for you to get freebies. 

L: No no as like a not work thing? 

L: YOU DON’T NEED TO WORK. 

L Is what I’m tryingt o say 

L: *trying to say* 

L SANJI IT’S SO IMPORTANT PLEASE COME AT 7. 

Sanji frowned, rubbing his eyes of the sleep that was still there. What did Luffy have to message him about a surprise for. He didn’t respond just yet. He stretched his muscles feeling all the tension in his back from sitting at the desk all night. Then, he replied. 

S: Fine. I’ll be there. 

Sanji tossed his phone to the side and then stood up. He shook off the remnants of sleep. Seeing as his plans of lazing were finished, he decided to have a shower. Just a quick shower before getting stressed and going into the kitchen where he made himself a strong cup of coffee. As the coffee machine hummed and the smell of Arabic coffee roamed in the kitchen, his mind began to drift as it often did when he was alone. 

Zeff was right. He often was about these things. Going to school had broadened his horizons.  It challenged him on the way he thought about food. It had been good for him.  

However, his mind often went back to one person and no matter how much he tried to forget, he still thought about him.  

He made his cup of coffee and sat down at the table. 

Zoro. Even just thinking about him made his stomach turn. Zoro and he had been incredibly rocky recently. From the outside, it looked as if Sanji and Zoro got on a lot more than they used to. They hung out alone. They went out for dinner. They would go home and hook up then Zoro would leave. However, Sanji still held him at arm's length. Any attempt Zoro made at deepening their relationship was batted away. Sanji didn’t want to deepen their relationship. They were friends with benefits and nothing more.  

As much as he tried to, Sanji found it difficult to move past what happened. Nine months later. Sanji gripped his cup as resentment and confusion pinged inside of him. He took a long sip of his coffee as he felt brewed. As much as he tried to shake these thoughts, they always go back to the same thing. It bothered him – the fact that Zoro seemed to take up so much space in his mind.  Not even his exams took up this much space. The boundaries had been made clear; at least that was what Sanji told himself anyway. They were just friends with benefits. A little friendlier than before. A lot more complicated. The lines blurred in a way that Sanji couldn’t control. He hated it. Truely and utterly hated it. 

Nine months. Nine months really should have been enough time to move on. However, whenever he closed his eyes at night. All he saw was Zoro. 

With a frustrated sigh, Sanji put his cup on the table a little too forcefully, the clatter of porcelain and the glass table jarring him out of his thoughts. He needed to clear his head. Thinking about Zoro wasn’t helping. He had to figure out why Luffy was insistent on meeting up tonight but if he knew Luffy, it would be chaos which was very much a welcomed distraction. 

As the day went on, Sanji decided to push the thoughts away and not acknowledge them anymore. He instead focused on trying to play a guessing game about what Luffy is planning. He laid out an outfit, opting into going for something that is casual but put together. After all, this was his home turf, the Baratie, even if he wasn’t working tonight. Old habits die hard. 

As the day went on, the idea of Luffy planning a surprise took up his mind and he wasn’t thinking about Zoro anymore. It could be something endearing to outright disastrous, both ends of the spectrum Sanji had experienced time after another. By the time the evening rolled around, Sanji made his way down the stairs and there he was, standing in front of the restaurant. He pushed the doors open and noticed the quiet atmosphere. The evening rush had obviously not happened yet...which was weird for it being 7. He looked towards the kitchen and seen Zeff there, barking orders at the other chefs with his usual gruff demeanor.  

“Oi. Old man,” Sanji called out as he looked through into the kitchen. Zeff glanced up, a brief look of surprise but then went to his usual gruff nature. 

“Thought you were taking the night off, eggplant?”  

“I was. Luffy said I needed to come by 7,” Sanji said, leaning against the counter. 

“Oh. If it’s Luffy you are looking for, he’s around the corner,”  

Sanji nodded before continuing to go around that way. However, once he got around the corner, he was meant by thunderous yelling.  

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” 

Oh yeah. It was his birthday today.  

He was so busy with school that he must have...forgot. No, he didn’t forget. Who forgot their birthday? No, he just wanted to wait until he was a little less busy to celebrate his birthday. So, up till this point, he didn’t make too much of a big deal about it. He didn’t know how this translated into him getting a surprise birthday. 

Sanji’s eyes scanned his friends. Nami, Usopp, Robin, Franky and of course, Luffy standing there. Luffy was grinning widely and bouncing with his usual excitement. A large cake decorated with bright icing. He recognized the cake; he had seen Zeff making it, but he had insisted it was an order for someone else. So, Zeff was also in on it. Huh. 

“Luffy...” Sanji looked away, trying not so subtly to mask his embarrassment. When he looked elsewhere, he was Zoro. He was drinking a beer, as always. The sight of him made Sanji’s heart do weird shit so he looked back at Luffy, “You know I didn’t want to celebrate until I finished my exams...” 

“Nonsense!” Luffy said, grabbing Sanji by the arm and pulling him towards his friends, “Everyone needs to celebrate their birthday properly,” 

Sanji was pulled over to the table by Luffy who was determined to make sure that Sanji enjoyed his birthday with his friends surrounding him. 

“You didn’t have to go all out,” 

“This isn’t all out.” Luffy waved off his concerns with an infectious laughter. 

Sanji couldn’t help but smile at Luffy’s infectious energy. He glanced at Zoro, still drinking beer pretending he was too cool for his birthday party.  

Luffy’s excitement was appreciated though. He took a seat between Robin and Usopp. The cake was nearby. He couldn’t help but appreciate the effort. 

“Still, you didn’t have to-” 

“It’s not all out,” Luffy insisted with a grin, his eyes sparkling with that usual excitement. “We wanted to do something nice for you. Nami and Zoro helped quite a bit,” 

Once again, his gaze went back to Zoro who was now avoiding his gaze. The mention of Zoro helping plan this seemed to catch Sanji off guard. He had to wonder how much Zoro contributed to the arrangement of this part. It made his chest feel rather tight which...was problematic to say the least. 

He could not. He could not let his emotions ruin the night. 

“I find it hard to believe that Zoro actually helped...” Sanji rolled his eyes, sitting back in his chair trying to give off an impression that he didn’t care, “It actually is thoughtful which makes me doubt it,” 

Zoro shot him a look, still nursing his bear as his scowl deepened, “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” He muttered, although looking closely there could have been something of the smallest hint of a small very small smile, something soft that almost felt like fondness. 

Even if Sanji tried to be indifferent, his mind felt like it was racing. Honestly, he didn’t know why but inside it felt like it pissed him off. These little, small meaningful gestures made it incredibly hard for Sanji to separate himself from Zoro. It made it easier to...forget about what happened. Sometimes, it felt like he could maybe ease up around Zoro. 

Maybe...just maybe. 

“Maybe next time, stick to what you are good at,” Sanji shook his head, “You know, heavy lifting and lack of direction,”  

In front of everyone, their banter felt normal. It felt like things had never changed. It felt as if they had just moved on from their lives. However, Sanji felt a weird edge right now. Tension with unresolved feelings between them as he tries to still be indifferent. 

Luffy, obviously oblivious to everything that was going on, laughed, “You two never change!” He said before grabbing another slice of cake. “But hey! At least the gang is here!” 

Breaking eye contact with Zoro, his attention was back on Luffy. Luffy was right. This was a nice gesture from all three of them. It would be a shame to have it ruined by his own racing mind. He looked at Zoro who avoided his eyes. 

“Yeah, you are right,” Sanji smiled, “I appreciate it...thank you,” 

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter, jokes and the comfort of being surrounded by friends. What Sanji didn’t know was that Zeff had closed the whole restaurant so that they could focus on Sanji’s surprise party. Amazing food came out as well as drinks and desserts. Luffy definitely had his fair share of food and Zoro had his fair share of drinks. 

When desserts came out, Sanji excused himself and went outside. He needed to...collect his thoughts. He needed to think about things outside. When he was outside, he sat on the step of the door and lit up a cigarette. He was lost in his thoughts outside when the door opened. 

“Are you okay?”  

Thankfully, it wasn’t Zoro. It was Robin. Sanji exhaled a long plume of smoke. The orange glow of his cigarette lit up his face in the darkness. He didn’t immediately respond. He just let the silence speak for itself. Robin was...for better or worse, incredibly perceptive. She always had been. Sanji had heard that Robin had been...somewhat involved in the club that Zoro frequented...or used to.  

“Yeah,” He said, although he wasn’t sure if he believed that and his voice lacked the conviction for her to believe him too, “Just needed a breather...” 

Robin didn’t say anything immediately, but she did sit next to him. She allowed him another puff of his cigarette before speaking. 

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, Sanji,” She said, her voice understanding but cautious as she didn’t wish to overstep, “Especially on nights like this. Birthdays can be...a time of reflection,” 

Sanji took another drag as he watched the smoke curled into the night air, “I guess. I’m certainly in a reflective mood tonight,” 

Robin nodded as she watched the smoke dissipate into the night air, “It’s understandable,” She said as her tone was gentle, “A lot has happened recently. It’s only human to be affected by what happened,” 

Sanji shook his head with a very bitter chuckle, “I thought I moved on. I feel terrible... Luffy, Nami and... Zoro put a lot of effort into this and I... well, can’t help but think about things,” 

Robin decided to let him talk rather than inject her own thoughts as her hands rested on her lap, looking out into the air. Her presence felt...so warming that he couldn’t help but talking even more. 

“It’s like...you know, I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. I’m better off just focusing on my career and future but then,” Sanji gestured animatedly in the direction of the restaurant, “Zoro does something...stupidly kind... and I feel like those walls I’m trying to build up around him just...”  

He realizes how it sounds and retracts slightly. Robin didn’t need to know every single detail of what was going on. He retracts and takes another puff of smoke, feeling even more bitter than he had done. 

“It’s clear that Zoro has some sort of effect on you. It’s not easy to let events go...” Robin responded. 

Sanji frowned. It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He wanted her to call him a jerk but then again, that wasn’t like Robin. Robin was...perspective.  

“Nine months. I’m still stuck,” 

Robin turned her head slightly, “Moving on isn’t a linear process. Sometimes, it’s two steps forward and one step back,” 

Sanji let out a sigh, running his hand through his hair. “But I don’t want to have these feelings. Zoro did the worst thing he could have done to be me ever and I can’t let it go. I just...want to let it go...” He clenched his fists, the frustration and bitterness simmering inside, “I hate him. I really really hate him but sometimes I don’t,” There was a beat of silence before Robin spoke up. 

“Then, you need to talk to him about it. Make those boundaries clear or forgive him. Either way, holding onto it and hoping that it will go away, will only hurt yourself,” 

His jaw tightened. He wanted to reject her advice and brush her off. He had gone for the past nine months without talking to him about it, but he knew that she was right. Holding onto this anger, this bitterness and it was bothering him. The truth was sinking in. Maybe it was time to decide. The thought made his stomach do funny things, but Robin was right; he couldn’t keep running from it forever. He had to face this head on. 

“Thank you, Robin,” His voice softer, more sincere than it had been before, “I’ll think about what you’ve said,” 

She gave a small nod before standing up. 

“One step at a time,”  

Sanji watched her get up and go back inside. Despite her being gone, her words echoed in his mind. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now but for the first time in these past nine months, he felt like he had direction...he knew what he had to do. 

He took the final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out. With a deep breath, he stood up and turned back towards the door. The night was still young. His journey was not yet over, and it was like Robin said... 

One step at a time. 

- 

The night went on for a couple more hours, nearly approaching midnight.  Everyone had a great time. The evening continued with laughter and conversation. Thankfully, Sanji’s mind felt more at ease as he joined the rest. Even if he had to decide what to do, it was enough peace to let him enjoy the rest of the night. As it approached a new day, the group's energy began to wane, and people began to leave. Robin and Franky, who were still a steadfast couple left together, Luffy and Usopp left with intentions of going back to Luffy’s and Nami left with the intention of spending the night with Vivi who she was still very much dating. As Sanji began to watch everyone leave, it left him alone...well...not exactly.  

Sanji was assured by Zeff that he would handle the mess in the morning which had Sanji having his last cigarette of the night outside. He looked towards the stairs leading up to his apartment. He was about to turn and leave when he heard someone else leave the restaurant. 

It was Zoro and they both looked at each other. Sanji continued to smoke, and Zoro watched him as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t so Sanji was the first one to speak. 

“Wanna come up stairs? It’s a long way home,”  

It was the nicest way of asking Zoro if he wanted to stay the night. Now that everyone else was gone, Sanji and Zoro could drop the acting.  

“Sure. I didn’t want to walk home anyway,” 

Sanji shook his head with a humorless laugh. His reply was gruff as usual but there was some warmth behind it. They stood there for a moment, the silence between them was thick with words they couldn’t say then.  It was tension that in the past nine months had become very familiar. It had begun to define their relationship...their very complicated relationship. 

Once he was ready, he stubbed out his cigarette as his mind reeled from the advice he had been given by Robin. It couldn’t be put off any longer. Sanji had to do something about what was on his mind.  

“Come on. Let’s go then,”  

Zoro followed Sanji without a word. The quiet footsteps on the stairs were the only sound as they made their way up to Sanji’s apartment. 

When they were inside, Sanji flickered on the light. There was a soft glow in a familiar space. Zoro looked around. He was unreadable. Maybe he could tell that change needed to happen too.  

Sanji busied himself to begin with. He kicked his shoes off, tidied up a few items and the like as if to avoid talking to him. As normal, Zoro helped himself to a beer from the fridge and sat on the sofa, watching Sanji clean up.  

“Are you okay?” 

Sanji stopped what he was doing and looked at Zoro strangely. Was it that obvious? 

“I’ve been in a reflective mood...” Sanji muttered, thinking about the conversation he had with Robin recently. 

“Yeah?” Zoro said but more to prod more of an answer as if wanting to know Sanji’s thoughts but all it did was bring hesitation to the blond who stopped what he was doing and sat on the chair across from the sofa, away from Zoro. The familiar tension felt strange. 

“Yeah...” Sanji’s voice was low as he leaned back in his chair. 

Zoro’s expression remained stoic but there was a flicker of something on his face, but it was unreadable. Sanji didn’t know whether Zoro was also feeling reflective or if he had no idea what he was talking about. Either way, Sanji leaned forward. 

“I keep telling myself that I hate you. I really do hate you. Yet, when you do things like what you did tonight with Nami and Luffy...” Sanji ran his hand through his hair, “It pisses me off because you do these kind decent little things and then I don’t know how I feel...” 

Zoro didn’t say anything. What could he say? They’ve been over this countless times. No matter how many times they ended up in each other's room or have these little meet ups, they still go around in circles talking about nine months ago. Neither of them was over it nor honestly, no one could be blamed. 

“I hate you for this. I really do...” 

Zoro looked directly at Sanji, “I don’t blame you,” 

Sanji’s breath caught. That was it. Zoro accepted it with bluntness, and it caught him off guard entirely. He had expected an argument, maybe a gruff retort but instead, Zoro accepted it. 

And that just annoyed him even more. It was suffocating and yet, this was the most honest that they had been with each other this whole time. 

“I don’t want to keep going around in these circles,” Sanji’s voice was strained, “But I don’t think I can move forward...the way that things are going,” 

“You think I haven’t tried? That I don’t want to try and move on?” Zoro responded, clutching his beer like an anchor, “Do you think I haven’t suffered from this too? I know nothing I can say will make you accept what’s going on...” 

“Then why do we keep doing this? Why help with the party? Why do you keep coming back to my place? Why?” 

There was a beat of silence. Sanji had clenched his fists so hard that specs of blood appeared on the palm of his hand, but it didn’t hurt. He had bigger fish to fry right now, and it was all about Zoro. 

And Zoro just continued to stare at him. He settled his beer down on the table and leaned forward, as if trying to close the distance between them, “Because...” He began, his voice lower and more measured than normal, “No matter how much we hate each other and no matter how much we hurt each other, I cannot stay away from you. You think I enjoy this? That I love how much of a mess we are?” 

And that felt like an honest admission from Zoro. Something that Sanji could not honor in return as he scowled, “Then why the hell are we doing this? If you can’t stay away and I can’t let it go, then what the hell are we doing here?” 

And there it was again. That silence showed that neither of them knew the answer. Those raw feelings just bubbled below the surface. 

“I don’t know,” Zoro sighed, “I don’t know okay,” His voice low and rough, “I don’t have the answer, but I wish I did but I don’t,” 

Sanji scowled and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t keep doing this with you,” 

“You don’t have to,” Zoro said, standing up as if something finally snapped, “No one is forcing you to do this. Maybe we should stop seeing each other,” Sanji’s heart clenched at those words even though a part of him had been expecting this conclusion. He had thought about this countless times before, about what it meant if they did cut ties and moved on. Yet, hearing Zoro vocalize it, made it real. 

“Is that what you want?” Sanji didn’t stand up. He looked up at Zoro who looked as if he was about to leave, as if he’d had enough. 

Zoro hesitated but the tension in the room pushed him to talk about it, “You’ve made it clear. You can’t do this anymore. So, you don’t have to. I’m giving you an out,” 

Sanji took a deep breath as if trying to steady himself. Everything felt as if it was crumbling around him, and he was grasping to give himself some normality. But maybe it was too late. Maybe this was the new normal. Everything felt already broken.  A wave of emotions crashed around him as a mix of anger and sadness. Zoro’s words were logical and to the point. He was giving Sanji an out and that was logical, but it was a punch in the gut after everything they had been through.  

This was the exact moment he had feared and wanted. 

“You are giving me an out?” Sanji stood up, shaking his head in disbelief and frustration, “Like it’s that simple? Like walking away will finish all of this?” 

Zoro clenched his jaw, “Maybe it is that simple, Sanji. Maybe we are making it more difficult than it had to be,”  

It was the moment he had to decide. Sanji’s heart raced and for a moment, he just couldn’t find the words. What did he want? 

“I think you are right,” Sanji said. Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed to stop. “Maybe walking away will help,” 

Zoro nodded, his face unreadable but he looked towards the door and then back to him, “I agree. I will leave you alone then...” His words hung in the air, heavy and final. The silence that followed it was suffocating and filled with things that they didn’t even get a chance to say. Finally, there was an end to this unrelenting cycle. 

For a moment, time stopped. By the time that Sanji realized that time’s arrow marched forward, Zoro opened the door and was gone. The blonde stood there frozen. So that was it. Zoro had walked out of his life as if it was nothing. He had wanted this – to end this cycle but now that it had happened, Sanji felt hollow. He clenched his fists again, realizing the pain of cuts on his hand but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chesrt. Nine months. He’d put up with this for nine months and for what? What did he have to show for it? 

Instead of relief, he felt loss.  

He sat on the sofa, the exhaustion of the night caught up on him. He rubbed his face, noticing the wetness on his cheeks. 

One step at a time. 

But what was the next step? What did he do next? How did you move on now? 

Sanji leaned back on the sofa, reaching for his lighter and cigarettes. He lit one up and stared at the ceiling. He had made his choice, now he had to live with it. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to end.  

One step at a time. 

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Welcome back Mon! Hope you had a good rest! Blue kept us entertained while you were gone!

Did it lol, that's good, I could not figure out what was going on when I went through what it had posted lmao, I had like no idea what was said and I kept waiting for it to be me again then the next post would be tagged as blue again 💀. I was about to say "I don't even know why it felt like it needed to post anything" but chances are it was partly the sleep deprivation as well as not knowing when/if I'd be back lol I'm never usually away for multiple days, sleeping usually resets us back to one of the 'Mon's 💀

Anyway, I'm hoping to start writing chapter 3 of My Girl this week, or I guess next week since it's Sunday, but still, yeah. My COD fic has run out of control and is like 70 pages or something in the Google doc, so it's not one I can just churn out quickly then go back to S,IL as normal. It did, however, put me in the mood to write domestic fluff and smut, because that's basically all that fic is, and chapter 3 of My Girl is just, entirely domestic fluff and smut with Tim and Jay spending their first night and morning in Tim's house together. It's gonna be so cute: cuddling together in 'their' bed to fall asleep (Jay's one of those people who refer to everything as 'my'—or if it's shared 'our'—straight away, the bed is theirs, it's their house, it's home immediately), waking up together in their bed and nothing bad as happened, super soft and sleepy morning sex, making pancakes in the kitchen together, listening to the radio and dancing along, it's gonna be SO fucking sweet. Absolutely tooth rotting if I can help it.

So yeah :D hopefully I'll have the energy to start writing that, people pulled all-nighters while I was away so I'm trying to catch up on sleep a bit 💀

[beanghostprincess]

when did you start watching the anime (also how/why)

and how many episodes do you watch per day to go that fast??? (im asking because im genuinely impressed)

It's a funny story, I think-

Basically, I was hanging out months ago (like, the start of this year?? End of last year?? I think??) with my brother and his friend at his friend's house and they were like "Oh! What if we watch One Piece? The first episode, cmon, Robin!" and I was like: "Fuck, no. Shit's too long. Not watching all that. I'm sure it's cool and you two love it but I'm sooo not getting into this". But then they wouldn't stop insisting and the show started playing out of nowhere and, like, I just wanted to eat my salad so I guess I just didn't care if they made me watch a few episodes. The salad was really good, btw.

Anyway: I watched the first two episodes and I kind of?? Fell in love?? With everything about it??? Luffy was so charming and early OP is amazingly beautiful in all the ways. I kind of miss the energy, honestly, sometimes. But I loved it. I laughed. And I was like "Oh, okay. This is good. I'm probably not watching the rest because there are a lot of episodes but, like, cool show, guys!"

Spoiler: I did watch the rest.

But I didn't watch more until February. I was on my period and when I'm on my period I get really, really sick and I feel like shit in general. And I wanted to watch something to distract myself from that torture. So I asked my brother where he watched the show in Catalan (here in Spain/Catalonia it's also dubbed in Catalan and let me tell you, it's one of the best dubs I've seen. It's SO good) and I started watching it for real then.

The thing is, I was really, really slow watching the show because I was studying at the time and I could only watch at night sometimes and in between classes or whenever the teacher wasn't in class (or, you know, I just did it without the teachers noticing. The hyperfixation was growing). Besides, I started talking to my brother's friend more and more and more (now he's kind of like my best friend??? What the fuck lmao) and I literally told him every fucking thing that happened so, yeah, I wasn't quick watching the anime at the time. I would've probably caught up by now if it wasn't because I didn't have much time to watch it then.

Then I started Arabasta, and ever since, me and my friend have been watching the show together on Discord (I started watching it in Japanese and subbed, then). We watch the show every single night (except when we're busy, but it doesn't happen often) and we usually watch, like, 6-10 episodes every day. That's the average amount, but we've pulled all-nighters before when we've watched like 20 episodes during the night (we watched Marineford like that and we kind of did that too with WCI).

I think I don't go THAT fast tbh I could watch more every day if it wasn't because I watch the show with him only because it's sort of an 'us' thing. Now I'm on episode 1015, so I guess I'll catch up with the anime soon! Then I'll catch up with the manga and then I'll cry because I'll have to wait for episodes/chapters every week. What a torture.

TL;DR: I started watching in February, because my friend and my brother told me to and I fell in love with the show, and I watch 6-10 episodes every day unless I'm busy or I pull an all-nighter.

Fun fact: I watched the Baratie arc exactly on Sanji's birthday this year. I think he was truly meant to be my favorite character.

Oh, and the only reason I wasn't online commenting on my experience watching it before is because I physically stopped myself from looking for content because I didn't want to get spoiled. When I got to post-time skip, I created this side blog!! So, if you want a lil bit of a timeline: Started watching in February, got to post-timeskip in September when I created this blog (so 516 episodes in kind of half a year) and now I'm on episode 1015 (so 499 episodes in three months). I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not studying anymore and I'm just working 20 hours a week, huh.

[uriekukistan]

twisted curses for the fic ask game?

hiii sorry for the late reply i've been feeling kinda off :') but thank you for the ask :D

hmmm i'd say that twisted curse was kind of the birth of a new style for me in terms of how i was structuring sentences and paragraphs, like using longer sentences and paragraphs juxtaposed with very short ones to create a more stream of consciousness feel kjgfhdk it doesn't fully adhere to the way i've been writing recently, but ig the precursor?

also it was the most sleep deprived i've ever been while writing a fic, i pulled an all nighter before that to catch an early flight, had a whole day of traveling, and then went back to the airbnb and started writing 😭 i remember falling asleep while writing the scene with todo and waking up and finding a bunch of things that made nooo sense lmao

thank you again for the ask

[turtle-clown]

I don’t actually have a title for this one. It’s just a silly half chatfic where mikey says something ab a Mountain goats lyric and everyone gets slightly concerned

Also usernames: Donnie is BoyGirlAutism, Mikey is SilliestGuy, raph is CrimsonFkr, April is CarrieIRL, and Casey is HockeyPunk

It was late at night when Donatello stopped working on her current project to check the family group chat (well, it’s not just family considering April and Casey’s presence in it). The other ones on at this time were Mikey (who was in turtle's room), April (who she guessed was pulling an all nighter from earlier messages), Casey and Raph (who were both hanging out on the surface). At the moment, it seemed that Mikey and Raph were arguing while Casey popped in occasionally to type something like “lmao” or “lol”, with April seemingly just watching the argument considering her lack of input on the discussion at hand.

————————————

CrimsonFkr> I just don’t get why you put shit like jellybeans and marshmallows on pizza

SilliestGuy> erm. your literally afraid of bugs bozo

HockeyPunk> lol

CrimsonFkr> mikey I hope you die rn

SilliestGuy> </3 hand in unlovable hand I guess

> have fun guessing whos who tho

> (spoiler alert im the one w the unlovable hand lawl)

————————————

And, in just three messages, Mikey caused him to go from smiling at how ridiculous this argument and the rebuttals are to shock at what his sibling just sent. As he tried to process just exactly what they said, everyone else in the chat had just about the same reaction.

————————————

CrimsonFkr> HUH.?

CarrieIRL> MIKEY????

HockeyPunk> DUDE??

SilliestGuy> ?

————————————

She finally managed to get herself to type something.

————————————

BoyGirlAutism> Mikey are you. Alright??

SilliestGuy> do you really need to ask that

BoyGirlAutism> .

> Fair enough I guess??

> That doesn’t mean we won’t talk about this later

SilliestGuy> (;;;*_*)

> (･_├┬┴┬┴

BoyGirlAutism> 🫵 Don’t try to hide you and your emotions from me I know where you sleep

SilliestGuy> YOULL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!!!!

HockeyPunk> bruh are we just gonna brush past the fact mike basically trauma dumped via a mountain goats lyric

CrimsonFkr> i think. now that im past the initial shock of it it seems about right for this family

CarrieIRL> And how do you know what turtle was referencing Jones 🤨

CrimsonFkr> yea case how do you know 🤨📸

SilliestGuy> DITDUEZFUDHEJEHHFHFJF

HockeyPunk> hey now

————————————

And, just like that, the strangely silly mood of the chat came back. As fun as he found the chats antics to be, he couldn’t help but think of what Mikey just admitted. Has… this been how he’s been feeling for this entire time? If not then when did he start feeling like that?

All she knew is that it would be an absolute mess to deal with (especially once Leo catches up on what happened in the chat, only the gods know how that’ll end up). But first, she needed to sleep before she could properly deal with that.

[universal-kitty]

⭐️⭐️ for YOUR ship with Rhys 👁👁

send in a “⭐️” and I’ll use a random thing picker to choose one of my f/os, and i’ll reply to the ask with a small infodump about my ship with them!

    Well, we skipped one step...but who am I to complain? LMAO  For both this ask and the first one you sent in, you sent me F/Os I rarely get to talk about! So I count that...as an absolute win. :>

    With that said, let’s gooooo-!

    Unlikely duo in unlikely, but perhaps equally predictable...problematic situations. If you’re anywhere near Pandora, these things should’ve been expected, probably. Anyways, onward to the shipping!

    Rhys and Rena first met when the latter was on an all-nighter bender working on a project Jack had “requested” from R&D. Pure luck had allowed them to survive this long, and they weren’t gonna quit anytime soon. Rhys, honestly about to head back to his own apartment (that Hyperion provides all workers, since everyone is on-site workers), wanted to pick up some coffee from the nearest break room...

    He ended up finding them dissociating and looking exhausted... And pity kicked in. Who was this distressed scientist? Why were they so...like that? Could he do something about it? (He wanted to try.)

    So the Company Man himself eventually started making small “trips” to R&D, casing the place until he found the private lab of Dr. Marlow. (All because he didn’t want to risk asking anyone for help... Yeesh.) He was eventually able to flag her down, and starting a conversation. Which turned into more... Namely hangouts; lots of him finding time in-between work to scurry off and hang out with her a bit again. (In canon, this would also be why he bumped into Handsome Jack in the first place; him trying to run around to see Rena for whatever time he could nab.)

    It evolves further: when Rena makes it to the food court, they eat with him, and he gets to meet two of their friends. Dan (the Man), a near-constantly exhausted pilot for the high class and occasionally, for Handsome Jack himself, and Leah, historical collector...of old music. Dan’s chill as hell and rarely seen w/o a cup of coffee (in increasingly funny mugs people keep gifting him) and Leah is energy personified.

    They end up supporting his endeavors, either helping Rena cheer up, or even picking up food for Rhys ahead of time, so he can have his own meal, plus Rena’s, on delivery. (In the event she hadn’t yet shown up for lunch and they figured she was getting overworked on yet another project.)

    This continues on for a few months, before the events of BLands 2; Rena eventually requests- and gets approved- a study of Pandora, to further research on a personal project. Jack somehow agrees to the whole thing and, despite Rhys’ concerns, Rena heads out with a small team, anyways.

    ...It’s assumed for a long time that Rena died.

    During the events of Tales, however, a contact called Gremlin is established; someone’s who survived the wastes and knows them incredibly well. So when Rhys and co. go to seek this mysterious person out... It’s Rena! Dirty, with frayed hair and Pandora-fitting clothes, but... Hey, they lived, after all!!!!

    There’s a lot of catching up to do, but it’s sorta...hard to do so with Jack in his brain. Which is something he ends up admitting to, at one point; he cares a lot about Rena’s opinion of him, plus... If anyone had an idea of what to do with an AI stuck in your brain, they would, right?

    ...Unfortunately not, since Nakajama is...was a mess of a man. For now, Jack’s plan continues: get to Hyperion. Nab Vault pieces. (Ignore Jack’s needling of Rhys being “a dense motherfucker” and making lewd comments about Rena. Rhys’ limits are at wit’s end. Worse yet when their almost-first-kiss is ruined by Jack in his mind. Asshole.)

    Long story short, Rena is able to help the crew get through Hyperion smoother, but her project- the dragons- take her a fair distance away from the crew. She *barely* survives along with Dan and Leah (who had taken the former’s ship; Rena survived based off of the size and power of the dragons she was slowly raising), and- once again- is separated from everyone.

    Except this time... It’s Rhys who is the one lost.

    Rena does eventually end up finding him again, thanks to news of Atlas rising from the ashes, and needing staff. Having made many friends along their ride in Pandora, Rena and their own crew set out to make money... Only to be shocked when Rhys fuckin’ Strongfork himself is running the place.

    They reunite, Part 2, and everything gets sorted. As far as new hires go, anyways. Rena and Rhys officially have a lot to catch up on...

    It eventually culminates in Rena taking on Head of R&D in Atlas, them becoming a couple, Rhys being dad to a bunch of dragons...that are rapidly growing in size...and eventually- with the help of their hires- reclaiming the old Wildlife Exploitation Preserve. Now also owned by Rena. 

[xiuminscheeks]

Biiiig paragraphs incoming cos im all caught up now!

So um. I fully didnt realise this was eunwoo until he sang in the wedding episode and i was like ok shoehorned in singing scene, this has to be an idol right? (In other words I should look at credits more often T.T) in my defense i only know like 2 astro songs lol

Also im adopting yul T.T hes so pure and helpful and all he wants is a pet dog someone pleaaaase get him a puppy...edit: holy fuck they make him deal with so much they make him pull like 3 all nighters, they rly brought him in as a fake bf... and then take him out as the third wheel xD hes so dramatic about it too acts like hes dying 10/10 oscar for the kid (nvm looked him up hes actually 2 years older than me thats not a kid skskks)

The bullying storyline made me SO nervous i fully thought shed succeed in ruining mr jins reputation (i cant handle storylines where people get unjustly framed for things it proper stresses me out skdjsk) or that something terrible was gonna happen to the poor student as a revenge from the bullies. but also seeing teachers actually care about students wellbeing over the reputation of the school is something that can be so 🥹 you love to see it

I rly loved the school trip episode!!! her coworker is still so set on trying to match her with mr lee skdjsk shes winning the wingman points but not the 'keeping up with the news' points (and also the cotton candy scene. What if i passed away. What if i straight up died. what then)

Oh and the cryptic new shaman girl? Shes def connected to mr lee right, cos shes got way too many mystic powers like he seems to have, what with his teleporting around to scare the bully. Oh and shes tryna break into his basement and all (and ofc yul gets roped into that too, he can never catch a break poor kid)

Edit; hes the MOUNTAIN SPIRIT RIGGGGGHT that explains the magic (i have to say i prefer him with long hair, men should have long hair more sksksk) super curious to see what his angle is since he cursed this family and is still keeping tabs on them but keeps implying mr jins gonna die or smth 😳

It was satisfying as fuck to watch him wreck the conspiracy theory streamer in one flick though, i was chanting KILL HIS ASS at the screen lmao

And YEAAAAAAAHGGHHH infinite fist pump!!! they finally confessed and kissed!!!!!! The way he instantly went for it too as soon as she said thr curse is over, you knooow hes been waiting for 3 months to do that,, wail theyre so sweet im holding them both gently theyre perfect for each other orz

Okay okay im done for now, youre free from the ask spam....but I didnt realise i was getting into an unfinished series when i started this so uh, i guess ill see you next week after the new episode airs xD

-🌱

your ask got me all excited again so I might rewatch the whole show before the new ep airs ajbfajflf

yea, Yul actor deserves an oscar, an emmy and even a grammy for his performance I WAS LITERALLY DYING

"i cant handle storylines where people get unjustly framed for things it proper stresses me out" SAME OMG I was so worried but thankfully the whole thing resolved during the same episode.

"hes been waiting for 3 months to do that" considering he fell in love with her the moment he first saw her, its WAY longer than that, which makes it even more precious (in episode 3 we saw a flashback of their first time meeting when Hae Na started working at the school, which was never clear if it was a while ago or just this year) check episode 3 33:27-34:54 (I speed watched the episode at work, I'm not that obsessed to know the exact timestamp, dont worry)

[hoshigray]

How was your cabin trip? Was it fun? Did y’all see any animals? I haven’t been on a cabin trip in AGES 😭 I hope you have fun at school tho! BE SAFE AND GO TO CLASS 😭

tay tayyyy!!! omg my trip was fuuuuuuuuunnnnn !!! Want to go back so bad, 6 days and 5 nights of just pure vibes and chiil~~🏠🌦️✨ aside the wifi being a lil doodoo (we were in the mountains so it's expected :/), i finally got to meet some new friends + hang with my closest buds after being flooded in finals week,, we did see animals!! 🐄💓 there were ofc cows and goats, sheep, bison, toads, and coyotes (dw, we only heard them one night but still hehe).

you should DEFINITELY get back to going on one with your friends, gives y'all the time to relax and catch up on each other's lives~~ but alas, here i am back to lectures and all-nighters 😭😭 classes don't start until Tuesday tho !!! so till then, I chill with my roomies, fix up last minute stuff, and yeah take one day at a time :D but girlie, how bout YOU get to class, don't want ya failin' on me now LMAO 👉🏾🤪👉🏾✨