#this album turns 10 years old in may

[tolkiens]

Random Access Memories by Daft Punk 📀 💿 

[ifancyharry]

Too late

Please let me know if you liked this, i love feedback!!

Word count: 6.8k

What is it: childhood friends to strangers to lovers; YN is getting married and she and Harry haven't spoken in five years. Harry hopes it's not too late, because he's been in love with her since he was 10. angst

TW: mentions of marijuana

When Harry received the invite he was coming back from his usual morning run. It had started as a rather nice kind of morning, really; the weather was warm and the sun kissed his tights with every jog he took, turning his skin a nice golden color, but not enough to make him sweat to the point of grossness. 

Days like that were rare in London, especially in May, so Harry, while he was running, thought about five nice things he could do outside to take advantage of the beautiful weather. Of course, he obviously hadn’t taken in prospective the possibility of getting home to an invitation to his best friend’s wedding, so instead of sun bathing, eating his favorite meal on the porch and whatever other three things he’d come up with, he closed the door behind him, shut all the blinds, and sat on his bathroom floor for hours. And not what felt like hours. He really sat there until his bum had taken the shape of the floor’s tiles. 

He has to admit, albeit without little shame, he tried to throw up a couple of times. He most definitely knows how dramatic that sounds, but call it poetic license or a really bad taste in romantic movies, it felt appropriate at the time. Because he really did feel like throwing up. 

When he started feeling too pathetic to excuse his behavior, he jogged downstairs once again, and he picked up the invite in between his fingers. If he’s being honest, he really hoped the letter wouldn’t be there anymore. He’d rather have imagined it. A nightmare he couldn’t seem to wake up from, or perhaps a sick joke? YN wasn’t like that. She could never joke about such things. 

Harry was definitely the more unserious out of the two, and even he wouldn’t dare to pull such a prank on her. So he knew the invite was real. 

After a brief moment where he seriously contemplated going MIA and pull another ‘kissy’ post and disappear until the upcoming year, he took out his phone from his hoodie’s pocket and opened the calendar app. 

As he came closer to the date, he was praying to god he’d be busy. Call him coward all you want. He was really hoping YN chose the date of the Met (it’s not like he was planning on going, but he’d definitely reconsider if it meant missing her wedding) or the date he’d set for an album release. She hadn’t. She actually chose a nice, free Sunday at the end of the month. And Harry felt like lying on the bathroom floor all over again. 

If Harry was any other person in the world, he would have felt guilty. Because you’re supposed to be happy if your best friend’s getting married. Except, Harry isn’t like other people. Because Harry’s been in love with YN since he was a child; since the very first moment she moved next door and Harry wasn’t even old enough to know what love was all about. He’s certainly aged now, and with it you’d think the love he felt for her could have subdued, or fade, but it never did. It stayed with him until the very day he received the invite. 

Harry eyes briefly the piece of paper in his hands, ‘You’re invited to YN and Graham’s wedding’ and bla bla bla, written in that one font Harry despises (he truly doesn’t, he wasn’t even aware that font existed before this morning), and he feels the sudden urge to pick up a lighter and burn it. That’s how much he despises that font. That’s how much he loves YN. Because seeing her name close to another who isn’t his, makes him want to never get out of bed ever again — he contemplated doing that already, and, frankly, he probably will, at least until he isn’t required to do something like a show or whatever else Jeff schedules for him. 

The thing is that the invite wouldn’t have had this effect on him if YN and Harry were still friends. Because despite Harry still calling YN his best friend, he doesn’t know if she considers him even a friend anymore, and he made it that way. It’s his fault. Harry, who’s someone who never takes accountability for anything, knows it’s his fault. And everyone around them knows, but sometimes Mitch, who maybe cares about him to the point of hiding the truth from him for his sake, tells him it wasn’t his fault entirely; he says: you followed your heart, so you made the right choice — which coming from Mitch means a lot. But Harry, despite appreciating the effort, knows it’s not true. Because he did follow his heart, but he lost her. So really, he would have preferred a life in pain beside her. Because now he’s still in pain but without her. So who won? 

-

YN never thinks about Harry. She doesn’t think about him when she’s shopping at Primark and sees a fruit theme stuffy she knows he’d like, she doesn’t think about him when she gets in the car and her bluetooth connects to his playlist on her Spotify automatically (she told Graham many times it wasn’t her fault, it was kind of a default thing her car did), she’s not thinking about him now, in front of her closet, debating whether she should wear a dress he bought her for her wedding rehearsal dinner.

YN sometimes likes to pretend she never knew Harry. She likes to pretend she never moved next door to him when she was only ten, she likes to pretend he never auditioned on xfactor, she likes to pretend she loves Graham as much as she loves Harry. 

Other times, YN likes to pretend there’s a universe in which Harry’s the one she’s marrying. In this universe, she imagines never meeting Graham, she imagines Harry never leaving and shattering her heart, she imagines the cat they’d adopt, the house they’d buy, how they’d raise their children; in this universe she sees herself always happy. 

She knows she’s not being fair to Graham, so she lets herself linger in this universe only for a couple of minutes and especially on hard days when she feels overwhelmed, it doesn’t make it more morally right, she’s aware of that, but what else could she really do? 

When YN sent Harry that invite, she certainly didn’t think he’d come. It’s not like she appositely called Jeff and asked — begged — him to free his schedule the day of her wedding. She asked Glenn instead because she’s friendlier with her. 

A part of YN still wonders why she did it, from time to time. Maybe, if she was a bad person, she could’ve done it because she wanted Harry to see her happy and in love. But she’s not like that. She could never imagine hurting him in that way. 

So, she always comes to the conclusion that maybe she sent the invite because she just misses him. It’s not like she has to have another reason. Missing him is enough. 

She knows no one is truly aware of the affection she feels for Harry. What she feels for him isn’t nowhere near what she feels for Graham. In the past, she used to be so scared of feeling such things for another, because with those feelings came the realization that she also had something to lose. And she truly felt like she couldn’t do it without him. 

But then, he left her. And she did do it without him. She met Graham, graduated college, and got engaged. And at one point, she felt like she’d give up everything to have Harry beside her again. So, can you blame her if she remembered his address by heart? Can you blame her if she invited him? 

-

Harry feels like a pretentious asshole. 

He hates his car; he hates the flashy yellow color of his Ferrari, the sound it makes when he revs the engine and all heads turn to look at him. All but one, because YN’s the only one that recognizes him by the sound of his car. Even five years later.

When he gets out of the car, he feels like everyone’s looking at him, and he doesn’t dare shift his gaze to see if she’s looking at him too. He feels like they all know what he did that night, that he broke her heart. He feels exposed before them.

He’s glad YN invited Jeff and Glenn too, and he waits for them to get out of their car too before approaching the crowd.

“So nice!” Glenn exclaims once she’s out of the car, shutting the passenger’s door loudly behind her. 

Harry looks around and has to admit, it really is nice. A nice old cottage in the English countryside, with a big well-kept garden full of flowers he knows it’s where the wedding will take place (because YN loves flowers). It’s nice. He’d be a liar if he said otherwise, but it’s not YN. Because YN, or at least the version he knew of her, wanted to get married in the winter — on Christmas Eve —, in a small chalet with only her close family and friends, where the snow would never stop falling and they’d be forced to stay in with the fireplace popping and wool, chunky blankets to keep everyone warm. 

“YN!” He hears Glenn once again, and he shifts his attention to her. 

She’s standing on the porch, wrapped in a long black coat definitely too warm for the weather, and despite being far from where he’s standing, he can see her clearly. She hasn’t changed. It’s still her. 

Harry doesn’t know what he was expecting. Maybe a more grown up version of her, definitely boring and that kind of resembled her mother a bit. He wasn’t expecting her. The YN he once knew still there, perhaps more beautiful than ever. 

He feels his heart skip a beat, and with her walking slowly towards them, waving politely at a couple of guests that stop to greet her on the way, he feels warm. A kind of warm that resembles the one he felt as a kid when he was sick and his mum would take care of him. He feels something that reminds him of a certain familiarity, like he had been floating all this time and he’s finally back on the ground. He feels parts of himself coming back with every step she takes forward.

“Hello” he hears her giggle, and he feels the sound resonate in his chest, spreading all over his body up until the very end of his fingers. 

“Hi!” Glenn squeals, shrugging her shoulders and stretching her arms forward, closing YN in a hug between her arms.

“I’m so happy you came” she says, her voice muffled by Glenn’s shoulder, and Harry isn’t sure if she means him too. 

She hasn’t exactly looked at him, but Harry isn’t upset about that. He knows her. He knows how she is. She never makes eye contact when she’s uncomfortable. And Harry feels a certain smugness come with it. He’d rather make her uncomfortable than uninterested, because with her uncomfortableness comes the realization that maybe, maybe — deep down, under her skin and rooted in her heart — she did miss him too. And maybe it’s not like Mitch says. Maybe it was his fault and he should’ve fought for her. 

However, Harry realizes things always late; because she’s getting married to someone else now. 

YN briefly hugs Jeff too, and after that, she smiles awkwardly at Harry and waves at him with her hand, “Hey” she says, her hand dropping by her side. 

“Hey” he replies, and he watches as she hugs the coat closer to her body as a sudden gust of wind embraces them, ruffing her hair. Harry can make out the faint scent of her shampoo, and as it fills his nostrils, his mind is swarmed with memories of hot summer nights where they would talk in bed for hours after swimming in his stepdad’s pool all day, minds free of whatever worry a 15 year old could have, sweaty bodies sticky together, tanned skin against skin, Harry not being able to make out where he’d end and she’d begin. 

“This place is so nice!” Glenn interrupts, and YN is grateful for that, because she isn’t sure what she would’ve done if Glenn hadn’t talked. She fears she would’ve leaned in to hug Harry if she’d stared a second more into his green eyes. 

In the five years they spent apart, YN always wondered if there would come a time when she’d no longer remember the exact shade of green of his eyes and the way they used to twinkle when he’d talk about something he was passionate about. 

Now, YN doesn’t know what things Harry’s passionate about, but his eyes are the same color she remembered. Despite the stubble on his chin, and the cheeky grin he used to give her turning in a more mature one, his eyes stayed the same. 

“I know, right! Graham picked it, he used to come here on vacation with his family when he was a child” YN smiles happily at Glenn, and turns her body to look around herself.

Harry frowns at her words. Of course Graham picked it. She never would’ve if it was up to her, he knew that. And somehow, call him an asshole all you want, he feels a certain smugness coming with the awareness that he knows YN more than her own fiancee does. 

“It’s nice” he agrees, and he smirks at her when she snaps her head in his direction, probably not expecting him to talk, “but I prefer winter weddings, you know? With the snow and everything…” 

YN’s happy smile turns in a frown when she hears the words come out of his mouth. She isn’t entirely sure about Harry’s motives. She doesn’t know if he remembers that she wanted to get married in winter or if he’s just expressing a preference. She doesn’t know this Harry anymore.

“It’s beautiful, YN” Jeff chimes in, and YN shifts her glance towards him and smiles at him too.

“Let’s go, then! I want to introduce you to Graham” she exclaims, and turns around, grabbing Glenn by the arm and intertwining it with hers.

“C’mon” Jeff says, patting Harry on the shoulder as an encouragement.

Harry nods and starts to walk beside him, his hands tucked in his pockets as another gust of wind flies over them. 

He watches YN walk in front of him, too occupied to talk with Glenn to close her coat against the wind, and he’s sure he can make out the floral design of the Gucci dress he bought her on his vacation to Italy many years ago. How happy she looked when she opened it, and Harry remembers he thought about how much he wanted to buy her every pretty dress in the world if it meant seeing her so happy.

He kisses his mouth at the memory of every dress he saw in those five years and that he thought about buying. Now, knowing she still wears his gifts, he wishes he did. He wishes he bought everything that reminded him of her. 

Harry knows it’s just a dress, and he shouldn’t get this flustered over such a simple thing as that! But with it comes the realization that maybe, in her deepest subconscious, she wore it for him. And Harry’s content with that. Because maybe then that means that those five years apart didn’t mean anything. Maybe then she missed him as much as he missed her. And Harry feels warm at the mere thought. Maybe he hasn’t lost her entirely.

-

Harry met Graham, and everything went somehow fine. 

It’s not like she was imagining Harry fighting Graham over her — no, that’s just a thought that pops in her mind every once in a while when she catches herself fantasizing over what her life with Harry could be like.

It’s weird to YN how there’s someone in her life that Harry didn’t know until she introduced him. And not just someone; her future husband. It sets a weird kind of awareness, because until now she was almost pretending Harry was in an island unknown to mankind, without his phone and that’s why he wasn’t calling. 

Now, seeing him shake her fiancee’s hand, smiling politely at him, she realizes Harry wasn’t stranded on an island without technology; the missing phone calls were a choice. So she should be happy she’s no longer involved with such a person. 

Why isn’t she happy, though? Why does she catches herself wishing she could go up to his room, lay on his bed and talk to him? 

She really wishes she could tell him she’s scared of marrying Graham. She knows he could tell him that and he wouldn’t judge her like everyone else would. She knows he’d have the answer. He’d say something like “get your stuff, I’ll start the car” and they’d laugh and run away to the nearest McDonald’s drive through to stuff their mouth with a big mc or some chicken nuggets, and Harry would purposely stain her wedding dress with barbecue sauce, and she’d laugh. As I said before, whenever she catches herself fantasizing about an alternative universe with Harry, she’s alway happy.

So, then, why didn’t she call? Why did she let five years pass? Five years without hearing his voice. Seeing his eyes. 

She doesn’t know why. 

At first she was mad, because Harry made love to her and then he left. So she was really really mad. Then, after the anger had subdued, she got scared. Scared he didn’t want her anymore. Scared their friendship wouldn’t be like before — now, she thinks it doesn’t matter if their friendship had changed. She wanted Harry around, no matter what.

She’s aware sometimes nostalgia makes you remember things that were never there. But she feels like it was different with Harry; it’s why she’s walking towards his room now, heart in her throat, and hands twitching at her sides.

She wishes it could be easier. She wishes she could be different. She has a fiancee. Why is she going to Harry’s room? Why did she invite him in the first place!

The cottage has six rooms upstairs, and she remembers exactly in which room she put Harry. He’s the only one without a plus one, so his room is smaller than the others. She hopes he liked it, but she knows he didn’t. It’s too fancy, for him. He doesn’t like flashy things, which is kind of ironic for someone who owns six cars, but who is she to judge when she helped him pick the very one he came here with? 

When she stops in front of his door, she feels ashamed, and she’s scared someone may catch her, even if she’s not doing anything wrong, just greeting an old friend. But Harry wasn’t always a friend. There was one night in which they were more than friends, and she feels herself fluster at the thought of being alone with him in a bedroom.

She releases a big breath and closes her hand in a fist, knocking it against the door. 

When he doesn’t answer she tries again, “Harry, it’s YN”, she clarifies. 

Nothing.

She stands before the door for a couple of minutes, but then realizes he’s not going to answer. He doesn’t want to see her. 

It’s fine. She’s fine. 

She understands, it’s been five years. She can’t pretend nothing has changed between them. She feels stupid when she turns around to head back to her room and a single tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it away before anyone can see. She refuses to cry. She cried enough when he left. 

This gave her the answer she needed. She’s marrying Graham, and if before she wished Harry’d persuade her in not marrying him, she knows he doesn’t care now. 

-

Harry’s sitting on the his bedroom’s floor, freshly showered, his hair still a little damp from the water, waiting near the outlet on the wall for his phone to charge. He’s playing with the chord of his phone’s charger as he listens to his mother rumble on the other side of the line. 

He’s not paying much attention to what she’s saying, his mind is definitely more focused on this morning’s encounter he had with YN’s fiancee. Harry tried to be on his best behavior, because despite hating Graham, he loves YN and he wants to be respectful of her choices. Harry has always been someone that never fought for what he wanted. He kind of always went with other’s decisions. He doesn’t know why he’s like this. Sometimes he thinks it’s just easier to let others decide for you, other times he’s aware it’s a matter of accountability: he doesn’t want to be responsible for his own choices, because then if something goes wrong, he doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself. 

“How’s YN? I’ve seen her Instagram and she looks even more beautiful” he hears his mum say, and his eyes widen at her words.

“Mmmh, yes, she’s beautiful” Harry agrees, chewing at the skin of his thumb. 

“Do you think she’ll have a baby soon?” Anne asks, and Harry almost wants to throw his phone against the wall at the mere thought of the love of his life having a baby with someone else.

“I don’t know, mum… I don’t think so” he shakes his head, but his words aren’t that much convincing to him. He doesn’t know if YN wants to have a baby with Graham. She had expressed her desire to have a big family when they were still friends and when she thought the timing was right, but was it now? Was it with Graham? He honestly doesn’t know.

“You know, I always thought she had a little bit of a crush on you” Anne giggles, almost childishly.

“She’s getting married” Harry says, and his tone suddenly turned stern. He doesn’t want to be rude, especially to his mum, but thoughts of what could’ve been have been hunting him especially hard since he saw her, and he doesn’t want to come to terms with the fact that maybe something could’ve happened between them if he had been a little more brave.

“She isn’t married now” his mum says, and he rolls his lips in his mouth. 

Weird enough, he knows what his mother means: she’s giving him an ultimatum, a sweet reminder that there’s still time. She’s not married yet. But what could Harry do? He really wishes someone could tell him. He wants his mum to say, Harry, tell her you love her before it’s too late. And he swears he’d do it. He’d do it right now. But coming up with that decision on his own? He’s not that much impulsive. 

“Mum” he says, “I have to go now. It’s time for dinner”.

“Okay, my love.” She replies.

“We’ll talk tomorrow” he nods, and ends the call, throwing his phone in his lap.

He shuts his eyes tightly and his head drops between his knees, his hands reaching up to clutch his hair at the roots. 

He feels pathetic. He feels like screaming in a pillow. He picks up his phone again and taps at the scree to check the time: 7.37 pm. At this time tomorrow the love of his life will be married to someone that’s not him.

-

Harry is late. Everyone has already eaten their appetizer and he still hasn’t shown up. Yn knows she probably shouldn’t care, especially after he didn’t answer the door after she knocked on it three times feeling like a naive teenager with a school crush. But still. She wonders what he’s doing. It’s not like she blames him, this dinner is pretty boring, and coming from the bride says a lot! But Graham especially requested no music and no dancing while eating, so the room is kind of quiet, albeit for a soft giggle or whispered words every once in a while. 

She’s biting in her pasta when Harry walks in, and suddenly she feels breathless. He’s beautiful. The kind of beautiful that warms her insides and reminds her of the color yellow, the sun shining when they visited Rome together, the tan he used to get at his stepdad’s pool when she’d spend hours looking at his lips while he sunbathed and she wondered if they tasted like chlorine. Beautiful. 

He walks slowly towards where he spots Jeff and Glenn, and YN looks at him shamelessly; he’s wearing cream tailored pants that hug his tights perfectly, paired with a silky blue blouse tucked at the front of the pants. She swallows the mouthful of pasta. When they were friends he definitely didn’t dress like that, he was more into skinny jeans and flowery button down shirts. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t like him like this. But, must I dare say, she’d like Harry even if he was wearing a trash bag.

He throws her an awkward smile before sitting down, and she shifts her eyes down on her plate, suddenly aware of being caught staring. 

As dinner goes on, she never raises her eyes from her plate, not even when she feels a familiar pair of green eyes burning her skin.

-

YN pushes her palm against the wooden door and takes in a big breath once the fresh spring air hits her warm face. She takes a step outside and the door closes behind her with a thump. She cringes at the sound and hopes it didn’t wake anyone up.

It’s almost one in the morning and she couldn’t sleep. She doesn’t know wether it’s pre-wedding anxiety or the thought of another universe soon to be lost forever, but she felt a heavy weight on her chest that made it hard to breathe.

She looks at the garden before her and decides she wants to take a walk in the rose garden. She’s always loved flowers, and she thinks seeing some beauty could help her clear her mind.

She makes her way down the cobbled path, illuminated by some lamps paved across the way, but when she reaches the start of the rose garden, she has to blink a few times to accustom her eyes to the darkness. 

The garden is the only thing she likes about her wedding location, and she’s thankful Graham agreed to get married there. He decided everything else, so at least he left that part up to her.

When she turns the corner of the hedge that divided the rose garden from the location of the wedding, she’s surprised to see a dark figure sitting in one of the reception’s chair.

She walks closer and she’s able to make out a familiar pair of broad shoulders bent over. Harry’s sitting on a chair from the first row, his head hanging low between his shrugged shoulders, his legs are slightly opened and his forearm is resting on one of his tights, the bright fire red of what she knows is a joint illuminating the side of his face. 

She’d recognize Harry even in darkness, but she still feels her heart fall to her chest when she realizes he’s right in front of her, sitting probably where he’d be tomorrow.

She debates whether she should go sit next to him or go back to her room and pretend she never saw him. It’s almost like she can’t control her own legs when they start to walk towards him.

With the movement, Harry turns his head around and his eyes widen at the sight; YN’s walking towards him, but what’s most shocking to him is that she’s making her way down the aisle. He suddenly gets up on his feet when he sees her, and when she stops right in front of him, she gives him a mischievous smile.

She’s breath taking. If this is what Graham will see tomorrow, he doesn’t know how he’ll manage not to faint.

“Walked like a true bride!” He says jokingly, and she giggles at his words, slapping his chest lightly. Harry feels the skin burn under her touch.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asks, and she shakes her head.

“Can I?” She says, gesturing to the lit joint he’s holding between his fingers. He’d almost forgotten what he was doing before she appeared.

“Mhmh” he nods, stretching his arm. 

She doesn’t take the joint from his fingers though, she just opens her mouth and waits for him to place it between her lips, and Harry swears he can feel himself faint, his head dizzy with all the love he feels for her.

He holds the joint between her lips and she takes a long drag from it, tilting her head towards his fingers, closing her eyes after she inhales. She opens her mouth again and opens her eyes as she exhales the smoke from her mouth, Harry watching closely her every movement, his eyes dark and glazed over.

He watches as she turns around and sits on one of the white chairs, the one next to where he was sitting before, and she tugs one leg to her chest as she hugs it closer to her chest.

Harry stays standing before her for a while, looking at the faint image of the cottage behind her and absentmindedly smoking his joint. When he feels her eyes on him, he looks down at her. It’s been years since they’ve been this close, and suddenly he’s 15 years old again, his hands twitching at his sides from how much he wants to stretch them out and just touch her.

“Graham is nice” he says, and immediately after he cursers himself in his mind for ruining the moment when he sees her gaze harden.

“Yeah, he is…” she whispers. 

Harry tilts the joint towards her to ask her if she wants another hit, but she shakes her head no and he drops his hand at his side, nodding his head.

“I really like the place, by the way. I was only teasing this morning” he shrugs, smiling at her. 

“You were?” She asks, and when he nods she says, “so you remember?”

“Of course I remember.” And he doesn’t have to say anything more, because they both know what he means.

“Graham picked everything” she releases a shaky breath at that, and Harry takes another drag from his joint and raises both his eyebrows to signal her to continue as he exhales the smoke from his mouth.

“I wasn’t… I didn’t want this” she shakes her head, shifting her gaze from his eyes to an indefinite point behind him.

Harry wonders whether she means the cottage or the wedding. Perhaps she even means their fight. He doesn’t know and he doesn’t dare ask, ignoring the voice in his head telling him that maybe she’s offering him an opening to a conversation he isn’t sure he wants to have.

 “I’m sure it’ll be wonderful anyway.” He smiles and throws the joint’s butt on the grass.

“Yeah” she nods firmly, and he’s aware of the tension lingering between them.

“I better go,” she says, getting up from the chair and tugging at the sleeves of her sweater to cover her hands “big day tomorrow”.

She smiles awkwardly at him when she walks past him, and Harry notices the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. 

He shifts his gaze in front of him, staring out in the darkness. He’s about to lose her all over again, the bitter night five years prior vivid in his memory, hitting him like a bullet. He thought the pain from leaving her that night had left, and he wonders how much time it will take for it to stop hurting. Maybe it never will.

He’s sure he doesn’t want to live his life with the memory of her back planted in his brain, leaving him once again. He doesn’t want to think back to her and remember her like this. Leaving.

So, when she’s about mid way through the aisle, he calls her name.

He doesn’t have a speech in his mind, and when she turns around with her brows furrowed and her shoulders sagged he doesn’t really know what to say, how to tell her.

“What, Harry?” It’s the first time he hears her say his name in five years, and he’s upset she sounds so defeated. He wishes he could make this easier for her, but he doesn’t know how.

His chest floats as he takes a big breath. 

“Whatever” she says, shaking her head, but Harry notices she doesn’t turn around.

“Don’t marry him” it’s the only thing he manages to say, and he isn’t even looking at her, he’s still looking out in front of him, and she wishes he could look at her to see if he’s joking or not.

She scoffs, because despite the words coming out of his mouth made her insides warm , she isn’t sure if he’s being serious. “You’re so… so immature! You enrage me!”

“No, no!” He hurries, waving his palms in front of him. “Hear me out, then you can — you can leave. if you want you can leave.” He nods, trying to convince himself, but he really doesn’t want her to leave.

“Don’t marry him. You know he’s not right for you! He… he’s controlling, he doesn’t know you! You shouldn’t marry someone like that.” He’s standing in front of her now, and he grabs her hands in his.

“Is that the only reason you don’t want me to marry him?” She whispers, looking up in his eyes.

“No… i-“ he sighs. 

“You can’t even say it, Harry.” She frowns, trying to free her hands from his grip, but he only tightens it, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“I can say it.” He nods, ���i don’t want you to marry him because I want it to be me. I— I have loved you since I could remember.”

She shuts her eyes tightly at his words, “you don’t mean that”.

Harry frees her hands and reaches for her face, caressing her warm cheeks with his thumbs.

“I do. I do.” He nods, “look at me, angel — please look at me” 

YN opens her eyes and Harry can feel his heart clench at the sight of her beautiful eyes filled with tears. 

“You had me, Harry. All those years ago, you had me. But you let me go! You have no idea how… how hard it was”

This time, Harry closes his eyes and then reopens them, despite being aware, the thought of making her suffer is hard to face. 

“I thought… I didn’t…—“ he shakes his head, his hands still keeping the firm grip on her face, “my life was hard, YN. It was crazy. I thought… you weren’t ready. I didn’t want to ruin you.”

“You did anyway. I hated you for what you did to me. I hated you for leaving.” She frowns, tears spilling from her eyes, but Harry wipes quickly at them with his thumb before they can roll down her cheeks. He leans down to place a delicate kiss between her eyes.

“I never once left you. In my heart it has always been you.”

He can feel her start to soften, but the she says “It’s too late now.”, and she shakes her head, her hands reaching up to remove Harry’s from her face. He complies, not wanting to force her. “I’m getting married, tomorrow.” 

“Angel, please” he whispers, but she’s already turned around, and Harry’s left alone in the middle of the aisle.

Suddenly he feels nauseous, and he brings a hand to his chest to calm his restless heart. As I said before, Harry realizes things always too late.

-

The next morning, Harry wakes up on his bed with the sound of an alarm he forgot he’d set. As he rubs the sleep off his eyes, he can’t wait to get the hell out of this place as soon as he can, and when he reaches for his phone and checks the time, he remembers why he set the alarm so early in the morning: this way he can avoid everyone from the ceremony on his way out. 

He can’t bare the thought of sitting through the wedding. He’ll send YN some fancy gift that she’ll enjoy with her husband and then he’ll disappear from her life once again. 

He knows it’s better this way.

He did it one time before. He knows already how long it will take to mourn their lost friendship and get back on track. The sooner he goes home and sleeps his feelings off, the sooner he’ll feel better.

He hurriedly throws his clothes in his suitcase, without caring if they get wrinkly or ruined. He grabs his phone and its charger and doesn’t even bother to check the bathroom twice to see if he left something behind. He doesn’t care, he’s eager to get far away and never face the heartbreak he’s leaving with.

As soon as he opens the door, though, the bag in his hand falls from his grip to the ground as he takes in the image in front of him. 

YN’s against the other side of the wall, her head hung low between her shoulders. 

“YN?” He asks, and she looks at him with her big, glossy eyes, and Harry feels like staying. He feels like grabbing her hand and tugging her inside, kissing her until he’s finally able to show her how much he loves her.

“I’m not… I—“ she shakes her head, her voice trembling as she gets her back off the wall and takes a step towards him, “i called the wedding off.”

It’s the only thing she says, but Harry feels butterflies fly in his stomach. His heart clenches in his chest, and he has to bring a hand to his chest like he did the night before to make sure he’s not having a heart attack.

“It’s not too late.” She whispers, “if you still want me, it’s not too late.”

Harry reaches up to her and tugs her closer to him by her arm. 

“I’ll never not want you”.

YN steps in the room and closes the door behind her, and Harry gently takes her face in his hands and tilts her head up. He looks from one eye to the other attentively before placing his lips against hers, and he almost contemplates not closing his eyes in fear she’d no longer be there when he reopens them, but YN moves her hands from his neck, to his shoulders, and he feels her grabbing his shirt between her fingers and holding him closer, her fingers digging in his skin. She’s real. She’s here, and he’s kissing her. It’s been five years since he’s last tasted her, and this time he’s kissing her without guilt. Because it’s not too late. Life just started.

YN parts her lips slightly and Harry sucks her bottoms lip in his mouth, eager to taste her more. 

His tongue licks over her lips and when she whimpers against his lips, he sneaks his  tongue inside her mouth and caresses hers with his. He explores her mouth like his life depends on it, and he feels like he wants to drink her. He wants to get drunk on her taste and never recover.

YN moves her hands from his shoulders to the hem of his shirt, tugging on it, and Harry parts from her mouth breathlessly. He feels dizzy and he’s not entirely sure it’s from the lack of air.

“No” he says, taking her hands in his and squeezing them in his grasp.

YN pouts at him and he tilts his head to kiss it away from her lips with a brief peck: “i want you. I really do. But not here”.

She widens her eyes at his words and realizes she was almost about to have sex with Harry when her ex fiancee and his family could hear them. She giggles loudly at the thought, and Harry, despite not knowing why she’s laughing, lets out a chuckle, shaking his head and looking at her with a bewildered look in his eyes.

“Let’s leave then.” She says when she calms down.

“Okay.” He nods, picking up his bag from the floor, “get your stuff. I’ll start the car.”

YN bites down on her bottom lip hard, trying to suppress the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

“What?” He says once he realizes she still hasn’t moved from her place.

She shakes her head, “nothing” she says, “i’m glad I wasn’t too late.”

“You could never be too late” he smiles, and he hopes she knows he’d wait for her all his life if it meant having her beside him. 

[itsmattchou]

have you done a zb1 with idol!reader? like how they'd react to your performances, etc. i bet it would be cute 😋

we are young and wild !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x gn!idol!reader warnings: swearing, overuse of the word "bro", english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: zb1 when their s/o is an idol notes: i loved writing this! school starts on thursday im not oaky to anon: i love idol!reader bc in my opinion its PEAK delulu 🤭 thank you for your request! this turned into more general headcanons, but i still hope you like it!! AND YOU'RE RIGHT IT IS CUTE

GENERAL:

you're a member of the co-ed kpop group "zumblr" (yes they have a comeback). you placed 8th in the finale of delulu planet 999 and now you're member of said 2-year project group. :D

this takes place in a reality where dating isn't a fucking scandal in the industry 🤗

SHEN QUANRUI

dating rumors in 3… 2… 1…

bro doesn't even TRY to hide that you're his s/o ong

it's not like he doesn't value privacy (he very much does) it's just that he doesn't give a fuck??? he doesn't care AT ALL let him be in love with you in peace, it's his business

apart from all these couple items he buys for you two to show off on instagram, he always. just. stares at you. all the time.

ricky doesn't realize it, but there's always a teeny tiny little smile forming on his lips whenever he sees you performing during award shows, comeback stages, concerts etc

bro doesn't even notice when he's on screen when he's watching you perform, he's just in a complete trance 🤩

he desperately wants you to teach him your dances. could he learn them on his own? obviously, he's a talented dancer. but he always insists on you showing them to him

"ricky you can learn that dance yourself, c'mon!" "no lol i can't :D"

when you two appear on the same game show like weekly idol??? bro full on flirts with you

you two were supposed to have a staring contest and suddenly he starts talking about taking you shopping????

"do you wanna go shopping with me? i will pay, come with me." (his members are just like "WHAT THE HELLLLLL")

he tries to write love songs about you. he still has some trouble with writing lyrics in korean, because he obviously wants to perform them, but they're cute nonetheless 🥺

the song titles however always have something to do with you. most of them are kind of lowkey, like his song "darling" (he calls you darling)

or that song that is literally named after your representative emoji??? if your representative emoji is 🐑 for example, his song is called "sheep"

and then there's this one song he just straight up called "y/n"

bro doesn't care💥💥

loves to talk about you on vlive

"someone just asked me what my favorite zumblr song is!! it's 'old guyz on the street', y/n just slayed there!"

nobody asked that. he just wanted to talk about you and made a comment up.

a really popular ship in your fandoms

KIM GYUVIN

okay okay okay OKAY

you two are MCing together. people LOVE you two together because the vibes are immaculate, 11/10 i recommend

and it's not like it's obvious like you're in a relationship

you two may be dating in secret… but you're still acting like best friends

fans just love you two together, wether as best friends or as lovers. and it's obvious that you're close.

some fans that are against shipping always attack gyuyn shippers like "stop shipping them!! it's obvious they're just best friends!! 😡"

gyuvin and you are just laughing your asses off whenever you witness it

when you're performing songs on stage he's always singing and dancing along, having the time of his life. he's basically try harding to become the next meme😭

he really tries to attend every one of your concerts. gets really sad when he can't make it because of his schedule :(

on live? he's blasting your songs and turning into beyoncé whenever your parts come on

bro always advertises your albums and everything, also unboxes your newest album as soon as it comes out

always overdramatically falls to the ground as if somebody SHOT him because he didn't pull your photocard???? bro what's your problem with the chou pc you pulled🤬

he promotes your group more than he promotes his own LMAOOOO

^ always begs you for a signed version of the newest albums

"gyuvin why would you need me to sign the album? i'm literally your partner" "PFFFF i don't want you to sign, i want your members to sign it 🤣"

goes on dates with you in public without shame

he really loves the way most fans just believe you two are best friends, this means he can spend more time with you!!

takes SOOOO many selfies with you, bro even posts some pictures he took when on dates

you two constantly end up on reality shows and talk shows together💀💀

the IT DUO of 5th gen fr fr💪💪

PARK GUNWOOK

the cutest cutie on this planet is the only one who's actually and actively trying to fucking hide the relationship😭

he is a strong believer and lover of that certain thing called "privacy"

so if you ever mention anything about making your relationship public to him he's gonna be like "no NO NUH UH NO CHANCE DEFINITELY NOT"

he's only considering it once you're married in like. 10 years or so.

but he wants to marry you so🤭🤭🤭 a win is a win

he's so glad that both of you are still going to school & that u're in the same class

he can spend time with you without it being suspicious!!

classmates spending time together makes sense after all, especially when you're both idols!!

only problem is… bro cannot stop looking at you with those eyes

he doesn't even notice he does that 💀 but even if he wanted to he couldn't STOP

there's so much fondness in his eyes, it's a sight to cry over FOR REAL

gunwook looks at you like you're the most beautiful person in this universe, like you're the only star that matters to him in the nightsky ygm???

he also does that during your perfomances

no singing along, no dancing, his facial features do not move at all, blank face. it's just his eyes that tell the whole truth

fans be like "i want a man that looks at me the way gunwook looks at zumblr's y/n" and he's like "HUHHHHHH 😱"

other than the way he looks at u he's actually pretty good at keeping it a secret!!

acts as if you're only friends in school

he looooooves buying your albums, he's always pulling up with every single version of your newest album

he puts posters from you up in his childhood room. he'd also decorate his dorm room with pictures of you but he has to vlog in there so he can't 😔😔

cutely asks you for autographs from you :DD

"hi y/n can you please sign the photocard? 🥰" he's so adorable it makes you want to cry

he doesn't have a clear phone case SO that means he can always have your (now signed!!) photocard with him and nobody will ever see it <33

HAN YUJIN

i lied!! he also really tries to keep the relationship a secret!

but unlike gunwook he's really bad at it😭

he's so cute but so awkward at the same time

he doesn't make it obvious in a way that everybody immediately knows "oh, yujin and y/n are dating!"

he makes it obvious in the way he so desperately trying to avoid you that everybody immediately knows "there's something going on🤔"

he was on a show and was asked to dance to zumblrs newest song. he panicked and was like "who? oh uhm zumblr of course i know them hahaha! actually i don't know how to dance! uh hanbin hyung do you wanna try instead?"

somebody please save him😭

in case you didn't understand, he actually LIED on that show

he loves learning your dances

always practices them in private and later shows them to you, looking super proud

"look y/n, i actually know how to dance! i look better than you btw! >:)"

he likes teasing you a lot

whenever you post something on instagram, weverse or whatever, he's texting you about it within the first 5 minutes of you posting it

let's say you posted a selfie with a chocolate drink in the background??

he asks you if he should bring you some chocomilk to your next date

he likes to analyze and rate the pictures. is the lightning good, your posing? bro acts like he's your selca teacher

during performances he always stares into nowhere, making himself zone out because he knows he'd only stare at you if he watched your performance😭

instead he's thinking about what to eat for breakfast or the last kdrama he watched

he would really love to BUT he won't talk about you or your group on vlive

he so obviously avoids the topic of your group that it's kind of an inside joke in the fandom that he probably has some kind of beef with you💀

if you two were to be on the same show he honestly wouldn't know how to act fr

bro wouldn't say a word to you. or to anyone. he'd only stare at the ground. PLEASE SAVE HIM AGAIN

[mariacallous]

Jake Tapper looked as flummoxed as everyone else. After a week spent trying to figure out the whys and hows of the assassination attempt against former US president Donald Trump, the CNN anchor was now facing something far more perplexing: why a British pop singer was calling Vice President Kamala Harris a “brat.” As his panel on The Lead tried to explain, he eventually put it together: We’re all brat. “I will aspire to be brat,” Tapper concluded.

So say we all, apparently.

What’s happened in the week since President Joe Biden announced he would not be seeking reelection and tapped his veep, Harris, as his pick for the nomination, the meme-ification of the presidential election in the US has gone from a cautious yellow to a neon, slimelike “Let’s go” green.

Shortly after Biden made his announcement on Sunday, British pop star Charli XCX posted on X that “kamala IS brat” and solidified something that had been percolating for weeks. The internet that had seemed to either feel “meh” about Biden or had been spending its time on the Trump Train or spinning up conspiracies suddenly snapped to attention. The Harris HQ Instagram account embraced the meme. Gays on Fire Island had “Kamala” shirts in the Brat album cover’s lime green before sundown on Sunday.

Brat Summer, though, extends beyond this moment. Like Hot Girl Summer, the meme that sprung up in 2019 around Megan Thee Stallion’s song of the same name, Brat Summer has moved past Charli XCX’s album Brat to become an embodiment of the vibe of the season in 2024. For Charli, it’s about—and this is what Tapper was trying to understand—being a little messy, a little volatile, a little vulnerable. But also honest. It’s about crying in the club, but also about crying over the state of the world in a ridiculous outfit with the top down. It is, in its way, anti-defeatist.

This is the idea of Brat Summer that has been at the edges since Brat dropped in mid-June, and it was woven into the politics of 2024 weeks before Biden announced he was out of the running. Ryan Long, a 22-year-old college student, made a fancam of Harris’ now infamous “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” remarks overlaid with the green Brat cover back in early July. It now has more than 4 million views on X and landed Long in TechCrunch, which quoted him as saying “because of her Venn diagrams quote, Kamala goes viral on gay Twitter every couple of months. She has turned into this, like, psuedo-gay icon.”

Because this can make heads spin in the over-40 crowd (see above), the internet has since been inundated with stories on how Harris’ campaign is embracing the memes and explaining, Hey, this Brat thing is far more introspective than you might expect. All of this is valuable reader service for anyone who might think introspection wasn’t possible in pop music and/or anyone who had never heard Robyn.

Brat Summer, though, is about more than Charli’s idea of brat. Skip past the fancams and Venn diagrams and you’ll remember that Brat broke out in a year saturated with female pop stars. Sabrina Carpenter has everyone singing “Espresso.” Chappell Roan got so big in the last six months that her concert crowds now spill over into adjacent gas stations. After telling the crowd at this summer’s Gov Ball that she turned down an opportunity to play a Pride event at the White House, the Harris campaign is using Roan’s song “Femininominon” as a rallying cry on TikTok. Harris sits atop Beyoncé’s Renaissance horse in one meme, and rumor has it that Queen Bey has given the veep permission to use her song “Freedom” on the campaign trail.

But in five or 10 years, when this week in Brat Summer is remembered, these individual memes may not come to mind. Instead, it’ll be seen as the time when something broke open. When the vibe on the internet shifted from conspiracy theories and chatter about Silicon Valley bigwigs getting behind Trump to one of pure energy. Conspiracy theories still abound, but so do a bunch of activated Swifties. Under different circumstances this week’s memes would’ve been about Deadpool & Wolverine, or Comic-Con International, or, hell, the Summer Olympics. Instead, social media feeds are awash in a sea of green.

None of this, of course, is a sign that Harris has the youth vote locked, or has reclaimed an internet constituency that had grown bored with Biden. Embracing the memes doesn’t always work—just ask the UK’s Labour party. In the irony-pilled, burned out internet of 2024, the embrace of a little bit of attitude feels like a release valve opening. It could all fizzle out by fall (and backlash already feels like it’s brewing), but this week brat burned bright.

[hergrandplan]

Wille's Month 2024 Day 4 ( @youngroyals-events) : Revolution

In cleaning up their home, Simon and Wille find something from their past.

Read below the cut or on ao3 (warning: tooth-rotting fluff. You may want to call your dentist)(1.4k, T)

Their living room is filled with half-empty boxes. Soft pop music plays in the background as they work through the piles of stuff they gathered, both softly humming along, sometimes singing. Sometimes, they chuck something in them without asking the other for a second opinion. Other times, Simon holds something up to get Wille’s approval to throw it out – or (less often) vice versa, when they’re not sure if it should go or not.

In packing for their trip to visit Simon’s family they realized they had a lot of stuff. Like, a lot.

Though their suitcases are barely packed, they decided that now, a few days before their trip, was the perfect time to start decluttering their home (they have a few days left anyways). It turns out two people can accumulate a lot of stuff in five years of living together.

The do realize quickly that Wille is the culprit of why they have so much – Simon has long ago learned to live with the fact that his boyfriend likes to keep everything, like the receipt from the first time they went to the movies together).

It’s a slow but steady process. They have a rhythm, they crack jokes and laugh. They remember too. Now and then they find something that makes them drop everything, letting another 10 or 15 minutes slip by as they flip through another photo album, or they find a notebook from their high school years.

It doesn’t matter that they’re going slow though. They’re happy to reminisce. `

“Oh my god,” Simon suddenly exclaims loudly.

Wille looks up from an old book he’s found to see him holding up a cassette tape.

He thinks he recognizes it instantly, but he still asks to be sure, “is that…?”

Simon nods, giggling almost. “I think so.”

They scramble to find cassette player – another thing they maybe should have got rid of earlier, but now Wille’s all the more glad that they still have it. Maybe, an hour from now when Simon insists on throwing something out Wille wants to keep, he’ll use this as leverage. You never know when we might need it.

Simon puts the cassette in the player. It’s old, it crackles a bit, which is unsurprising. It was already old when Wille gave it to him for his birthday, years ago.

Most people would have made a Spotify playlist, but Wille finds there’s something more romantic about giving an actual physical copy. And so, for his boyfriend’s 17th birthday, he’d given him a mix tape, filled with songs that reminded him of him, but most importantly of them. Of Wille and Simon.

The first song plays – Aaliyah, “At Your Best (You Are Love)”, smooth R&B filling their messy living room, the notes falling and landing and staying in between the boxes.

Wille, filled with the need to take in every little detail of Simon’s being, turns to look at Simon only to find that Simon is already giving all of his attention to him. His gaze so full of love it’s almost overwhelming. Wille doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it, the way Simon just looks at him. Giving Wille his full attention, his utter devotion.

Then again, he looks at Simon, the exact same way. Even after all these years.

Wille is no longer afraid he’s going to lose any of this, he refuses for that to ever happen, not again, but he still savors every single moment with him, his beautiful boy. He looks and touches and feels, he knows the map of Simon’s body even better than the back of his own hand. The phantom memory of Simon is always at his fingertips when they’re apart, always quick to get back home as soon as possible.

And once again, Wille is filled with the need to take in every little detail of Simon’s being, with the need to never take his eyes off of Simon again.

Wille stands up, offers his hand out to Simon, who takes it without hesitation.

Wille pulls him to his feet, slowly, eyes never leaving Simon’s face. He sees the same question that’s been spinning around his mind reflected in Simon’s eyes – how did they ever get this lucky?

He places his hands on Simon’s hips, pulling him just a bit closer. Simon wraps his arms around Wille’s shoulders and gazes up at him, so lovingly, and Wille stares right back. This, he realizes with a flash, is it. This is the man he’s going to marry.

As Aaliyah sings that there’s no need for make-believe (and Wille, in this moment couldn’t agree more), Simon decides that they are not close enough. He pulls himself closer to Wille, burying his face in the crook of his neck, nosing at the soft skin there. Wille hums, moves his arms up, finds a home for them on Simon’s back, holding him tight.

Their dance turns into a shuffle, both men too tangled in each other to be able to move any more. There, between the boxes and the suitcases and all the evidence of a lifetime spent together, the promise of many more years to come, they hold each other.

The song finishes, the music softly fading away. Wille tilts Simon’s chin up, stares into those dark eyes that he will never get enough of. His heart so full of love that he can’t do anything but catch his lips with his, to feel his body flush against him, ever part touching and connecting, souls intertwined. Right now, he’s sure that their hearts even beat in the same rhythm.

There’s a moment of rest in between songs, as the cassette rolls until it lands on the next one. Wille has forgotten what songs he put on there – it’s been, after all, 10 years since he’s made it.

Then the tape hits the next song. A soft piano sounds. Wille feels Simon go still in his arms, as he too tries to figure out what song is playing. Then, all of a sudden, it’s Simon’s voice that fills up their living room. But the sound doesn’t come from the man standing in his arms – it’s coming from the cassette player.

They look at each other for one, long second as realization sinks in. Then, they break out into a fit of giggles, Simon burying his head again in the crook of Wille’s neck.

The song that’s playing is one very near and dear to Wille’s heart – after all, it’s literally named after him. Well, Simon actually never gave it a name, but he’d titled the file Wille. ‘Wille’s song’ is as close to a title as it gets.

Neither of them has heard this song in years – there was a time when Wille played it to death. When he first received it, and he thought this was the final piece of Simon he’d ever get, the only way he would be able to hear his voice.

Simon’s shoulders shake with laughter as the first chorus start, and Wille only pulls him tighter against him.

“I still can’t believe you put this on there,” Simon groans into his shoulder, his voice muffled. Wille’s sure that if he were to look at him now, he’d see Simon’s cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“I think it’s sweet,” Wille says, barely able to contain his laughter, which only makes Simon groan more.

“It’s so cringe.”

“You were sixteen, of course it’s cringe.” Wille brushes a soft hand through Simon’s curls. “And it convinced me to abdicate so…”

Simon finally looks up at him, indeed with cheeks flushing, but he’s grinning too.

“I guess I did spark a little revolution, huh?”

“At least in my heart.”

Wille leans down to press his forehead against Simon’s. His lips find Simon’s again, soft and warm and right. He smiles with Simon’s lips still on his. Simon moves his hands up to the nape of Wille’s neck, fingers buried in the soft hairs there.

Then Wille says the words he’s said a million times already, words he never tires of saying. That he never tires of hearing either. Because no matter how many times he says them, he never feels like it’s enough to convey what he feels for Simon.

“I love you,” he says softly in the space between them. They stay there, linger there, as Simon’s eyes open to gaze at him.

“I love you too,” he whispers back, and pulls him into another kiss.

[lordeemailarchive]

Pure Heroine turns 10

(27/09/2023) (PH 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY DISPATCH)

Living in Ruins of a Palace within My Dreams

Photo by Simeon Patience

Hi,

Firstly, I wanna say thank you for your extremely supportive and kind messages after my last newsletter. I genuinely feel deeply cared for, less alone, and more sure that things will be okay after sending it! Albeit with a slight overshare hangover. I think a part of me knew that I had hit a wall, and that I needed to invite in the compassion and understand I’d been struggling to generate on my own, and then I’d have something to draw from and mirror. It feels like it’s working. I feel incredibly grateful that we have this relationship, that we can each give when the other needs it. Beautiful stuff x

Now, might U have noticed it’s 2013 mode round here????????? Yes that’s right, it’s a very special anniversary… Pure Heroine is... ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡TEN ˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚ YEARS ˚༘♡ ⋆｡˚ OLD ੈ✩‧₊˚ TODAY ! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

You may (like me most of the time) hold the opinion that this album has been MYTHOLOGISED QUITE ENOUGH, but a milestone is a milestone, so I thought coming here and typing some shit to u about this time would be a fun thing for those who care.

2 xxxxtra special ltd time only commemorative designs by Hassan, who did the original of this bootleg tee 10 years ago❤️

It’s close to midnight, and I’ve just finished scrolling through my entire computer and phone archive from 2011-2013. Going on this memory lane ride has reminded me, for one thing, what a different time it was technologically. We were just starting to be able to see ourselves in real time, but we weren’t constantly connected. I had an iPod touch until halfway through 2013, which didn’t have a front camera or internet access, and my sister and I shared a MacBook, which is where we did our schoolwork and I wrote my lyrics. I took my first few years of selfies on Photo Booth…. Just let that… sink in!!!

Note the Royals Nat Geo pic in background— it’s happening...

When I was fourteen, my greatest work of art was my bedroom. A very cool, very classic teenage bedroom, Andie’s and Duckie’s from Pretty in Pink meets the Virgin Suicides— fairy lights, fabric on the ceiling, candles, stolen road signs (badman), paper lanterns, beer crate shelves, magazine pictures and club night posters and permanent marker on the walls. Bliss! I’d sit up there and vibe out, taking a lot of selfies. Creating a small-scale work of art using the self, and then examining the product from every angle, was the best method I had to express myself and exercise creativity at that time, and I now see it as an important PH incubation phase, whether I knew it or not. Something really amazing about a young person starting to see their own face and body for the first time, coming to a very secret understanding that they are beautiful. 

I started to smoke weed, which gave me a deeper understanding of sensory pleasure, and allowed me to start to see my world as a possible work of art. I’d go on long walks around the neighbourhood, and began to mythologise the stuff around me (big empty floodlit rugby fields/bus rides/dark streets/boredom/isolation) into the motifs that would become Pure Heroine. I wore a lot of like, navy lipsticks from the 2 dollar shop. God, this aesthetic, It’s just TOO MUCH.

At some point in here, I met Joel, and another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. When you’re a teenager, you’re particularly sensitive to adults being condescending to you, not respecting the specific and finely tuned skills you have because of the ones you don’t. I was always on the look out for it, and from the first day meeting Joel, I knew that he would never give me that feeling. Which I’m sure wasn’t easy — my wallet at the time was the foot of a pair of tights that I cut off and knotted at the top — but somehow from the very beginning he made me feel like my ideas had value, like we were peers, in the most sensitive and age-appropriate way. 

My view for thousands of hours making this album

We got on a call earlier this week and broke down the complete history of making the album. We both agreed that making Pure Heroine was deeply exciting and intimate and free, and still one of our most treasured experiences. I’ve linked it here.The second half of 2013 is when I really met the world, went to America and Australia and Europe for the first time. I found an incredible (for some reason Christmas themed) disposable camera image of my stage outfits all over the floor of my hotel room, which really sums up how ad hoc everything was at the beginning — a jetlagged sixteen year old, late for lobby call and frantically stuffing thousands of dollars of borrowed clothes into a suitcase. 

In this stage, it felt like I pulled everything off by the skin of my teeth. Every week was the most exciting week of my whole life, I was so tired and still didn’t have a winter coat and took everyone clamouring for a piece of me completely for granted. I had zero cultural context, had no idea if an interview or TV show was huge or small, and so breezed through it all truly not giving a fuck. I am not a naturally nonchalant person, it was literally just too much to care about, I could hardly get up in the morning, so I just said absolutely whatever I felt like, all kinds of wild shit, if someone did something corny I’d say so, I was ruthless in that way that only teens are. Then through that year we went on our first tours, met you guys for the first time, hours and hours of hugs after the show, my favourite part so far and where it started to feel real for me. James took a lot of beautiful film photos through that time, and I’m really grateful he did.

Ten years goes really fast. One minute you’re wearing a leather collar with a giant crystal hanging off it to a Chanel party, and the next you’re blonde. A lot of stuff isn’t good after ten years. But I am still totally touched by this sweet record. I have deep respect for the vision of the little one making it. 

Going back through all of this has reminded me of something that feels important to point out, whether you make art or not: everything starts out as a bunch of bullshit in a laptop. Pure Heroine was a handful of Photo Booth selfies and emotional Word documents and Tumblr posts (and a gorgeous over-decorated bedroom) before it was even one song. I had no reason, on paper, to believe that I was capable of anything. But if you can trust that the first impulse you had to create came from a place of deep wisdom, develop a few principles for your decision-making, and absorb a lot of stuff you find inspiring, you’ll have something special on your hands. Pure Heroine exists because I had the tiniest inkling of what I’ve now come to see as one of my guiding principles: that each of us have a handful of songs inside us that are ours, and only ours, to sing. Your specific interests and upbringing and physiology and experiences exist only in you; you are sitting on a gold mine that no one can rob. Whatever that means to you, whatever that statement you were born to make is, I invite you to take a big breath and make it.

All my love for another ten years of all this, and more, and more—

Ella XXXXXXXXXX

(source: received this email)

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Welcome to a fresh week full of possibilities, my fellow bookish bats! I hope you had an amazing weekend! It's been a while since I've posted one of these, so I thought it would be fun to jump in with an update. As a reminder, I can't post or respond to comments until 10/10! Please help me by commenting on and sharing this post!

❓QOTD What are you up to this week? Answer one of the prompts below!

📖 Reading: I just finished SK Ali's Fledgling (expect my review Tuesday to celebrate it's release). Now I'm reading a fresh ARC, Breaking the Ice by Amy Andrews. What was the last great ARC you read (I need recs!)?

☕️ Drinking: I made fresh oat milk this weekend, so I'm currently sipping on my first homemade pumpkin spice latte of the year (with maple syrup, pumpkin puree, more cinnamon than most people can stand, & pumpkin spice). Yum!

🍯 Eating: Last night I made a tray of paleo pumpkin spice cinnamon cake. It's super moist, & we topped it off with a hot, homemade cinnamon glaze. I unfortunately broke a GORGEOUS baby blue casserole dish (containing a week's worth of homemade paleo pizza), & since I can't afford to replace it, I may have to press pause on baking for a while.

🎧 Listening: Mariana Trench's entire discography on repeat, ending with their new album, Haven. My heart is not okay.

📺 Watching: Watching Big Door Prize & old Psych episodes while bae is home. Comfort-watching Buffy, Lost Girl, & Wynonna for the spooky vibes.

✍️ Doing: Working on posts for the month, rush-reading a stack of ARCs, & looking for work in the publishing industry (if you have any advice or leads, send them my way!).

🦇 Your turn! Let me know what you're up to in the comments below! Have a wonderful week, bookish bats!

[outsidereveries]

old requests from curiouscat (11th march 2024—4th may 2024)

still 11th march 2024

how is the current relationship between Teddy with Yang Hyunsuk and YGE?

with Yang Hyunsuk: 8 of swords rx, knight of swords rx, page of swords, 4 of pentacles rx, the emperor • 4 of swords

Roughly, don't communicate at all.

with YGE: king of pentacles, the magician, 8 of pentacles rx, 6 of cups, the lovers rx • 6 of pentacles

Total mess, the company wanted him to make beats (and obviously, not only) for BABYMONSTER but Teddy refused (probably because he wanted to MANAGE them but YGE refused so Teddy did the same; fair enough). Because of that, YGE searched for more producers to replace him :)

15th april 2024

will the cancellation of Tyla’s tour and promotion for her album affect her career?

8 of pentacles, 9 of cups, 4 of pentacles rx, 2 of wands rx, knight of wands • queen of swords

No, I would say it's better that she cancelled her tour and promotions, otherwise something worse might've had happened in the near future.

19th april 2024

are there K-pop idols that could’ve been through similar situations like Drake Bell and etc. (ex. "Quiet on Set", an documentary) when they were younger in the K-pop industry in secret? is there a lot of wickedness in the K-pop industry just like the western industry?

5 of wands rx, page of cups, death, knight of wands, king of wands, 8 of cups rx, 10 of cups rx • the hierophant

Fortunately, not to that extent the Nickelodeon documentary showed (including the rumors). I can see a frequent situation, related to plastic surgeries. For example, X staff wanted Y trainee/idol to make rhinoplasty, or doing another thing, related to cosmetic surgery to make the future idol matching the Korean beauty standarts (mostly it's like that but the reasons seem to be mainly for aesthetic purposes. BTS' RM was exception from what I remember years ago?) For many cases (i am unsure if most is more appropiate), Y (no matter who, I'm trying to explain the example I'm seeing) refuses to do that consciously, sometimes more than once. Although there can be cases where X isn't forcing and were with good intentions towards their future popularity/relevance whether solo or group-wise (I am remembering Chenle refused to do rhinoplasty when he was 12), mainly there were coercion, sometimes even turned into physical violence from X towards Y (I remember Hyeju, previously Olivia Hye, was forced to remove her freckles when she was trainee before LOONA, she cried from what I remember) to do it anyways. Apart from that, fortunately, nothing worse. The mental abuse being there .. yeah, I can see it there, but again, it wasn't with that extent it was with Nickelodeon and that guy as a creator and idk what else. It was also like an illusion in a way or another for ✨the kids to make their dreams come true✨.

20th april 2024

will another member depart from LE SSERAFIM?

page of swords, 7 of wands, 6 of wands, 10 of swords rx, 2 of pentacles, the hanged man • queen of cups

Until the end of LS' 7-year contract, no, noone will leave the group and the lineup as of now looks fixed. However, I see more lengthy hiatuses for the group altogether for releasing songs. They might drop a full album (or releasing few mini albums) and then they could drop the hiatus status for longer time than expected either due to many solo gigs (I can see it for Chaewon and Yunjin? Sakura? Eunchae to some extent? I don't see it with Kazuha for some reason) or because of member/s' unstable mental health. They could be missed in the future.

how will be the situation regarding FEARNOTS defending LE SSERAFIM's singing abilities?

2 of pentacles rx, the lovers, the devil rx, 2 of wands, justice • 5 of swords rx

In a year-two, I don't see it changing drastically. There can be a member-two (probably Kazuha and Eunchae; I don't see Sakura being here, she might be in average level) whose vocals will stay the same and it can be unsatisfying. The "beef" can be the usual between the K-FEARNOTS thinking LS having average vocals and I-FEARNOTS thinking they can sing SING and are talented but I don't see it getting any worse.

will xiaoting be successful in the future?

the high priestess, queen of swords, knight of cups rx, 8 of swords, 5 of swords rx • page of cups

With one word, no. With more details, I see Xiaoting's intentions trying to make the ✨Sakura's route✨ where she continues in South Korea. I don't see it happening with her as the options for Xiaoting are clearly limited. As she actually knows her worth, I can see Xiaoting coming back home in China because she clearly will have no choice. I do see her trying to the point she has no options, she seems to be very naive. I can see her "older age" (as it's more prone for Korean companies to debut teenagers) the main reason why it won't work out. After July 2025, at least for now, she could have more possibilities to work everything out and be successful in her own way.

will xiaoting be scouted by another korean company?

justice rx, queen of wands rx, 8 of pentacles • knight of swords

Sorry for being too harsh, but no. Like I said, she'll try her luck but up to there. Noone seems to want her as of now.

how will 2024 go for xiaoting?

queen of wands (that seems to be Xiaoting herself), the moon rx, 2 of wands rx, the hanged man, judgement rx • 8 of wands

Xiaoting seems to take rest in one way or another, so possibly a ✨year gap✨ hiatus. She should look for her mental health as it's more prone to be unstable due to her circumstances.

will babymonster be as successful as blackpink?

the lovers, knight of swords, 2 of cups, the magician, 3 of pentacles • death

Compared to their seniors, until the end of BAEMON's 7-year contract (and maybe a half), unfortunately for BAEMON, something will be missing for YGE to reachieve similar success, and this time is related to one of the audiences YGE is targeting rather than the company's management/producers. I can see BABYMONTER's relevance being similar to 2NE1's, where they were mainly successful in SEA (at least that's what I remmeber) and even though 2NE1 achieved some things in USA (and I can see it for BAEMON too), 2NE1 weren't mentioned enough outside of Asia from the outsiders (GP). They'll succeed in Korea, they'll succeed in SEA as a whole but outside of there, no. The k-pop fans or BABYMONSTER's fans outside of SEA won't be enough for the outsiders and unless YGE change somehow BAEMON's discography trajectory, it'll stay the same.

what big hit music is planning for txt in the long term?

5 of pentacles rx, lovers rx, judgement rx, justice rx, 4 of swords rx • knight of pentacles

BHM's plans aren't certain because there's external forces from HYBE's side. Although BHM is independent from the corporation, HYBE is trying to make BHM easily controlled (I'd similar to the relations between EU's most influental countries and EU's .. sorry, marrionetes) in which makes BHM's plans fucked up as their freedom is actually risked. Apart from that, BHM wants TXT to be as free as BTS, but that seems to not work out as BHM is in trembles.. These cards were the second try. I saw many people in the first spread that I preferred to put it aside as I didn't saw anything. This spread explained the intentions better to me.

mark, career check

king of pentacles, page of cups, queen of pentacles, 7 of swords rx, 4 of swords rx • the lovers

Mark seems to be around the staff he's working with. He might drop something, possibly a song (cover/single).

will baemon get their 1st win on the next comeback/a song that is well-charted in korea soon?

justice, 5 of pentacles rx, 10 of swords rx • temperance

this solely depends on the korean outsiders. if baemon's next tt grows like sheesh (i'd say like kiof's midas touch tbh), then sure. they could do it. as of now it's uncertain to me.

24th april 2024

[geomancy] will the things get better for txt in the future? will they be free to do what they want? is there a reason why txt is treated differently compared to their counterpartners in Hybe?

the collective answer is Laetitia, which is the combination between 11th and 15th house — Yes, the things will be better for the group at least from creative perspective.

- Rubeus and Acquisitio: If the MV storyline of the group aligns with the solo activities and the creative freedom it will be good. However more intensive gigs and similar type of creative freedom will do TXT way better. They might be good at philantrophy-related activities and can be beneficial.

- again Rubeus: The situation surrounding the coorporation doesn't seem to change even in the future. However I see Big Hit Music tricking the coorporation in one way or another and I also see the current situation between ADOR and BELIFT easing the things for BHM to do what they want to do. I don't have my tarot cards now, so geomancy does the job.

1st house: Caput Dragonis (1st from actual 11th house)

2nd, 6th house: Acquitisio

3rd house: Populus

4th, 11th house: Amissio

5th, 7th, 9th house: Rubeus

8th house: Fortuna Major

10th, 12th house: Tristitia

Overall answer: Laetitia (11+15 house)

le sserafim, 2024 career

Houses:

1, 2: Acquisitio (3rd, 4th)

3: Puella (5th)

4: Laetitia (6th)

5, 10: Fortuna Major (7th and 12th)

6, 12: Fortuna Minor (2nd and 8th)

7: Albus (9th)

8: Cauda Dragonis (10th)

9: Populus (11th)

11: Via (1st house from 11th house is here!)

Overall: Amissio

Until the end of 2024, if LS' team wants to do everything properly, including the girls, Cauda Dragonis shows basically bad, bad and bad things for LS. If they stop to be scandalous in one way or another or when coming back, releasing similar MVs as Antifragile (also to some extent Fearless), their popularity will die down quickier than expected and SouMu might reconstruct LS promotion-wise, such as relying onto solo activities the most. I can see LS doing their job as usual, therefore they'll be as "scandalous" as usual. Related to how they'll earn, although everything is quite good, there are some mistreatments, their salaries aren't coming on time and/or the salaries the girls should earn aren't the ones they actually earn. Although having some creative freedom, the girls are more likely to be "lazy" and it seems like that the hate LS is receiving is justified in one way or another. They'll still be liked from the corporation anyways. LS seem to receive an important offer for group-related activity, by the way.

25th april 2024

ls, career readings (2025-2028)

2025 | 2 of swords rx, page of pentacles, judgement rx, 7 of wands rx, knight of wands, 8 of pentacles • the hermit

Next year, compared to the reading I did last year, the self-sabotage energy surrounding the girls is still prominent. Although there will be plans for the group to be one of the greatest in the industry, there can be delays, so.. longer hiatus(es). For that, the energy seems to be stable. The new insight I've been seeing here with the last 2 cards might be related to individual project of one of the LS members. The court cards can be Yunjin (earth vedic sun sign) and Chaewon (fire tropical sun sign) respectfully, so the project thing might be related to one/both of them.

2026 | the hanged man, 3 of pentacles, 7 of cups, 2 of pentacles rx, 10 of swords rx, 8 of swords rx • 3 of swords rx

Similar to what I saw last year, LS still seem to have "longer hiatus" than expected. Therefore, SouMu will be focused on individual activities for LE SSERAFIM which for the girls will be far more beneficial. I can see the rough plans SouMu's team will plan in that year and nothing specific yet but the offers will possibly be MANY. The subsidiary will have hopes everything to work out for the group's popularity in their last 3 years (before the end of their 7-year contract) for at least 1 group comeback? I still don't see LS being active as a group (if I have to compare with this year, 2023 and 2022 so far) as current days.

2027 | the magician, king of pentacles, ace of swords, 8 of cups, knight of cups • king of wands

The court cards seem to be:

• Yunjin, King of Pentacles

• Sakura, Knight of Cups

• Chaewon, King of Wands

On the bright side, LE SSERAFIM seems to take as similar route as BLACKPINK where all members are more focused on solo activities. As Kazuha and Eunchae aren't here, in 2027 their energies aren't just as strong currently, so I have no clue for them. Yunjin might start to build her solo career with more solo songs for example (The Magician is before her). Sakura seem to focus on activites back in Japan as these will be the most beneficial for her. Chaewon on the other hand is yet to decide of her path (she might also be a soloist but nothing specific as of now) but it seems that she'll be just as successful as Sakura and Yunjin. As Kazuha and Eunchae aren't here, it looks like they might be in the other girls' shadow for now. Whether mistreated or not, that's yet to be revealed.

2028 | the high priestess rx, 2 of cups, the star rx, king of cups rx, ace of cups • 9 of pentacles

Similar to what I saw last year, LS might disband in 2028, just a year earlier than their contract expiration in 2029. The news will be sudden (but not suprising) and there's strong deja vu here with how GFRIEND disbanded. It might be similar for some reason.

between hybe and min heejin, who's telling the truth?

Min Heejin: ace of cups, 2 of pentacles • 10 of swords rx

ADOR (collective "answer"): the chariot, 2 of wands • temperance

Park Jiwon (HYBE's CEO): 3 of pentacles, the high priestess • 2 of cups

Bang Si Hyuk (HYBE, chairman): 4 of swords, 10 of cups • the fool

BELIFT LAB (collective "answer"): 7 of cups, 3 of cups • the tower

Kim Taeho (BELIFT's CEO): king of swords, ace of wands, the emperor • 9 of wands

HYBE (collective "answer"): 5 of swords rx, king of pentacles • the hanged man

First, the significant people. Out of these 4, Min Heejin seems the most sincere. (Therefore, I'd say she tells the truth the most out of them) Kim Taeho on the other hand, like I saw in the past but with his company, is the one who has the worst intentions possible. Seeing the cards for BELIFT in mind, he lied the most out of everyone (and I'd even say that he might has ill intentions towards Min Heejin), while Park Jiwon seems to be a puppet for BELIFT's CEO. They definitely worked together. Well, nothing compares to Bang Si Hyuk. He's actually the clown for the whole situation and possibly not only. I believe he's been used for quite some time. He isn't sure what to say, to be honest. Second, the collective answers from the companies. ADOR's the most clever here too. They're as cautious as possible. HYBE on the other hand tries to be passive but Park Jiwon's involvement is too evident imo. BELIFT are the clear "devils" here, it's just too obvious. I believe BELIFT's management should be changed, including the CEO. HYBE's CEO should be changed in my opinion too.

will bang sihyuk, txt and bts leave hybe altogether?

the chariot, the devil rx, 6 of pentacles, 10 of swords rx, 8 of cups • the magician

Currently, yes, I believe so. But it will be in a few years, at least these are the current energies.

will the "next bts" be a group (somehow helped) by min heejin?

2 of swords rx, 3 of pentacles rx, 3 of wands rx • 9 of wands

Currently strongly no, it will be a challenge (for Min Heejin) to be involved in a future group that will have the potential to be as successful as BTS.

will smngg debut successfully?

death, 4 of swords rx, the star, the sun, 5 of cups rx • the hierophant

Being as short as possible, yes. However, the success will be similar to another group's. It won't be visible/obvious, though.

if there's upcoming scandal for boynextdoor, will min heejin be involved?

ace of pentacles, the high priestess rx, queen of swords, 7 of swords, the hanged man • king of pentacles

Directly to her (fortunately) no, but (unfortunately) rather someone from her family, possibly distant nephew/cousin.

will kazuha return to ballet?

ace of swords, page of pentacles, 10 of cups, the fool • 9 of pentacles

She might be ballet teacher, but she won't be ballerina again. It's yet for Kazuha to plan and decide.

huening kai, brief career reading (2027)

9 of swords rx, 2 of pentacles, king of cups • the empress

Might jiggle between TXT and his future solo career. He might debut solo by that time?

yeonjun, brief career reading (2027)

3 of swords rx, 5 of cups, death, ace of pentacles • 7 of swords rx

He might want to do something specific in 2027, but the plans will fall through. Since I see solo-related activity here, he'll choose one that's beneficial for him and will make his popularity go up.

will baemon ever break away from the girl crush/dark concept and do something different?

2 of wands, temperance, ace of wands • king of swords

It solely depends on YGE's founder. Despite that, the chances are here. The answer isn't certain for now, to be honest.

27th april 2024

after the dispute with MHJ and HYBE die down, will there be any big changes?

the hanged man, 8 of cups, the fool rx, knight of swords, 2 of wands • strength

There might be changes in BELIFT's team such as CEO or a few people in important positions in the subsidiary. Min Heejin seems to stay as of now. My head's currently hurting because of the question, so I believe this is significant. The changes might happen after the audit, there might be some more (1-2) after the one towards ADOR before that. There can be some transfers in the corporation's staff or in BELIFT's staff.

will newjeans stay under hybe or leave?

the empress, 4 of swords, 7 of swords, 4 of wands, 3 of swords • 6 of cups

Currently will probably stay under HYBE. Deep inside, NewJeans will try to be more free in one way or another (behind the scenes) but they don't have issues with ADOR, the girls are actually satisfied being there. They might dislike HYBE in one way or another.

ateez, brief career reading (2025)

the hermit, ace of wands, the high priestess, 5 of pentacles rx, the empress • 4 of swords

Apart from some singles here and there, The Golder Hour series (I'm unaware if this will be with 2/3 parts or more so sorry) seem to be the last serious comeback-related releases we will ever see from ATEEZ as a group. In 2025, they seem to disband because everyone in the group will think this is for the better of everyone. I can see ATEEZ members focusing on solo activities but up to there.

29th april 2024

aespa, brief career reading (2027)

justice, queen of pentacles [Karina], 9 of pentacles, knight of cups [Giselle], the high priestess • 6 of swords

In the girls' seventh towards their eighth year, I actually see aespa taking similar route as their unnies (Red Velvet, f(x), SNSD..) and focus way more on solo activites as they earn more through them. As of now, Karina and Giselle will be the most satisfied members so far. Ningning might return home to China (as the reading shows the rough energy because it's still so far away towards 2027, I don't think it's fine to ask whether Ningning will leave SME or will stay, however Justice might show some tendencies). About where's Winter.. I don't see her.

stray kids, brief career reading (2026) - will they still be a group?

wheel of fortune rx, 6 of pentacles, king of pentacles, ace of pentacles, ace of cups • 9 of cups

With one sentence, they'll do what BLACKPINK did - "renew" their group contracts (i.e. JYPE using the group for merchandice and etc., etc. that doesn't involve any activities at all) while leaving as an individuals. Compared to the girls however, they're more prone to officially disband as a group and will focus way more on solo gigs.

txt, brief career reading (2026)

8 of wands rx, the lovers, the hierophant, 4 of wands, page of pentacles • 3 of pentacles

Their path seems to be very similar to MAMAMOO's where some members will agree to group activities while having their solo journeys elsewhere. Their 7th year seems to have a bit longer hiatus where MOAs might be very eager to learn whether they'll renew or not and I see some members actually renewing (maybe 3?) while others not and focusing their solo careers in another company. After that, I see it like usual, to be honest: releasing something, promoting, these things. Maybe they'll have less concerts after 2026? But apart from that, it's foggy for me.

kiss of life, brief career reading (2026)

wheel of fortune, the magician rx, the tower, 5 of wands rx, 5 of swords • strength

Related to the companies mtl thing I did last year, there will be a scandal, related to one of the girls' dating life in which she (I don't know who it will be) will have bigger age-gap with the person she'll be seeing with. This scandal, however, will be a cover up FOR ANOTHER SCANDAL in S2, related to someone who is/will be in the higher positions in the company (i can see them cheating on their beloved and since it seems to be a major thing, then the other person is actually... famous domestically). Apart from that, KISS OF LIFE will try to promote as usual, however, the scandals might make a turn towards the company's bankrupt. I'm unsure whether AURA will bankrupt with S2 or not here as I don't have any clue.

enhypen, brief career reading (2027)

wheel of fortune, 10 of cups, king of pentacles, the sun, 8 of swords rx • the hermit

I can see a goodbye concert/tour/release from the boys where they'll just do it "like the old times", or remember the best sides from themselves, something like that. The sun reversed being here however, is BELIFT's sadness that they are disbanding. Honestly, the subsidiary will want the boys to stay. I can actually see Jungwon saying "I did whatever I could, now we are disbanding, that's what WE WANT". I see that all members will leave BELIFT but only a few will leave the corporation. I see some of the boys moving to PLEDIS or another company where the solo gigs can be done there. I also see one-two members having higher positions, related to office-related jobs, to be honest. The other ones will leave HYBE, at least from what I feel/see.

txt's upcoming tour

How it will go (overall): 3 of swords rx, 10 of swords rx, page of pentacles rx • 4 of wands

Quite neutral for some reason, but there can be postponed/cancelled dates. As usual?

Success: 2 of pentacles rx, queen of cups, 2 of cups rx • the empress

Uff.. not so much. Might be appreciated only by the fandom of TXT, to be honest. There can be many, many changes behind the scenes. Sales (energy check thing): the hierophant rx, 8 of wands rx, knight of cups rx, king of wands • death In reality, behind the scenes, NO. However, we will think they are "sold out". I can see many people reselling their tickets, posisbly most of them bots where their tickets won't be bought right away comapred to before, therefore with the site that MOA will buy the tickets they will be "sold out" but they actually won't be sold out.

did Min Heejin use witchcraft against BTS or anyone in the K-pop industry? did HYBE spread false claims against her to make her look bad to the public?

first question: 8 of swords rx, the devil rx, queen of wands • 7 of swords rx

no, she is more mature than some of the international fans think. she seems to believe in the karma (that whatever you're doing, you'll receive it in the future).

second question: knight of pentacles, 3 of pentacles, page of swords • 4 of pentacles rx

yes :) yes, they did.

will BTS be still together in 2025 or not?

king of pentacles, 2 of wands, queen of wands • the devil rx

i could say yes.. yes, sure, they can release something as a group. it's yet to be decided what their next comeback will be but sure, why not? they can be a group after the military. (i felt this wasn't even, like, although it's planning, the guides didn't thought about the question at first, it felt really natural like they were brothers forever and ever, therefore for the boys bts is just more than the most famous k-pop group, like they're family, and the same seems to be for bhm)

will bighitngg debut in 2025 or 2026??

2025: the lovers rx, 9 of pentacles, 10 of swords rx • 4 of wands

No.

2026: 3 of pentacles rx, page of cups, 6 of cups rx • the fool

Also no. They seem to be dreaming about it, though, like the subsidiary trying to vizualise them?? That has never happened to me tbh so it's unusual.. I asked separately my pendulum, as of now, there might not be a girl group from Big Hit Music (overall).

bts, brief career reading (2025)

2 of pentacles, 7 of cups rx, king of cups, the hanged man rx, 8 of pentacles • 5 of cups rx

The boys might do worse (comapred to pre-military) from successful point of view. BTS might jiggle between their solo gigs and group activities. I can also see their creativity increasing, so maybe a possible world tour?

4th may 2024

babymonster, brief career reading (2028); will yge screw them?

3 of wands, 5 of wands, 2 of cups, 9 of cups, 9 of pentacles rx, justice rx • 4 of cups rx

Roughly, their career might not be that screwed up by YGE. It looks like that the path itself will be very similar to a group they had in the past (I am unsure if that group's BLACKPINK or 2NE1). BABYMONSTER might rely on gigs in foreign places as I see they'll travel from place A to place B (and so on). BAEMON might be very, very mistreated in relation to their future activities whether they'll be solo or not as the girls might be very dependent on YGE's intentions and actions.

will there be any groups from the 4th gen that’s will track their 10th year anniversary, or everyone will be disbanded?

8 of swords rx, 2 of swords rx, 5 of wands, 4 of cups, the hermit • 7 of pentacles

Even if there will be a group (whether if it'll be just a one or a few), this event will be simply ignored due to some conflicts in the members' life (doesn't matter if they're in their personal life or not). Some of the groups who'll meet the 10-year-anniversary will want to celebrate it, of course but they might not match when they'll be free.. something like that. Also, I doubt that there can be any celebration from the groups that will survive for the involved fandoms? I just feel that it'll be eventually some sort of personal meeting and won't be seen through SNS lives or fan meetings, something like that. Maybe through mini cafe meeting but I also doubt this. Roughly I can see there can be a few groups from the 4th generation that can track at least 10 years but it can be celebrated privately and not in front of the public eyes.

newjeans, career reading (2024)

queen of pentacles rx, 5 of wands rx, 3 of pentacles, 3 of cups, 4 of wands • 9 of pentacles

Until the end of 2024, it doesn't seem to change rapidly. The support from tokkis and k-netizens is there (and possibly more people), the isolation from HYBE towards the subsidiary is there.. As usual, I believe so? I surely don't see disbandment, by the way.

newjeans, brief career reading (2025)

the devil, the chariot, 5 of cups, wheel of fortune, page of cups rx, the magician • the lovers

2025 is the year where ADOR will be shut down (thanks to HYBE's connections, the corruption seems to be the strongest influence for the reason why). NewJeans on the other hand won't disband. I do see another group disbanding though and it looks like it will be fromis_9, like I saw a year ago? I see NewJeans transferring in PLEDIS, like they'll feel alone and .. that stuff. Their staff who is currently in ADOR will also be transferred with them but it just won't be the same. I see restriction, related to their creative freedom where HYBE will watch them as strictly as possible. Overall, NewJeans seems to take fromis_9's place in PLEDIS. I don't see anything, related to comebacks, activities and similar stuff.

did min heejin get inspiration (for newjeans' discography) from her relationship with HYBE?

death, the hermit, page of wands, 5 of wands rx, knight of cups • 7 of pentacles

No, nothing in common. NewJeans' discography as a whole isn't about Min Heejin's feelings towards the corporation.

(orig. worded differently) if newjeans change somehow their concept, will it make them more loved or not?

9 of swords rx, 3 of pentacles, the world rx, page of pentacles rx, 2 of pentacles • strength

After them transferring to another subsidiary (possibly PLEDIS) NewJeans seems to repeat their concept path all over again. HYBE will rely on what they've established so far. Therefore, tokkis, k-netizens and everyone who likes NewJeans might be pissed at them being repetitive concept-wise but it seems to be still liked/loved anyways. I'm more leaning to NewJeans being still loved tbh but for me it feels to be in the unknown ground where it's just not this, it's not even that..

krystal jung, career reading (2024)

6 of pentacles rx, 2 of cups, 9 of cups, 9 of wands, king of swords rx • 7 of swords rx

Until the end of 2024, Krystal seems to work somewhere? I'm unaware whether this is a drama or it's something else, but this might be the only work she'll have for a while. Her standarts, her preferences of how much she has to earn to do this and that is too high, Krystal should lower her price because in the future, noone will want to work with her because of it. She's just somehow irrelevant. :|

will newjeans have more “connections” in the future?

10 of pentacles rx, 9 of pentacles, the star rx, the lovers rx, knight of swords rx • knight of wands

No. HYBE'll rely on their current connections NewJeans/ADOR have built so far.

will txt’s tour outcomes affect the members?

7 of cups, king of wands, the moon, ace of cups • ace of pentacles

TXT will be affected, yes, but positively. They will still be as hyped as usual! They (mainly) will be unaware of HYBE's schemes. I see Yeonjun this time? He might have doubts for the corporation's actions but nothing else for the rest of TXT.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a second chance

10:30pm, sunday, may 12, 2024

wow oh man i have forgotten how to do this!! but it's spring, it's the end of the term, it's the start of a new season and a new burst of creativity and, perhaps, a different routine-- so let's try again.

reading audio-books and ebooks have been my absolute constant companions all winter, but shout-out to the stack of paperbacks on my bedside table, which i am slowly but surely working through. finished italo calvino's if on a winter's night a traveler (a loan from @hematiterings), part of my now intentional quest to read calvino's whole oeuvre, and basically loved it. the whole 'first chapters of various novels you'll never get the rest of' was such a good way to showcase a bunch of cliches from, like, mid-century literary fiction. very meta, and very fun. the connective frame narrative, in second person, was a little more of a stretch (again, very mid-century literary self-referential/ironic/whatever, which unfortunately i did find amusing)-- and calvino's female characters are not great, except for in the nonexistent knight's narrator who i loved)-- but there was a section addressed to a female reader which did, in fact, feel like it read me for absolute filth. other finished reads from the last few months which i will mention here briefly: the angel of the crows, katherine addison; our wives under the sea, julia armfield; the bell in the fog, lev ac rosen; the nutmeg's curse, amitav ghosh; the ruin of kings, jenn lyons.

listening this would have been different if i'd written this last week, but have y'all heard beyonce's album cowboy carter?! i know i'm a few months late but i actually feel like i'm years late, like i haven't responded to a beyonce album this strongly maybe ever. i love the covers, i love the vocal layering and harmonies, i love the samples from old timey radio and everything familiar and texas and country about it...i keep thinking i have a favorite track, but genuinely i like listening to this one all the way through, as a cohesive album, as a work in itself. have a pitchfork review. pull quote:

"On Cowboy Carter, Club Renaissance is swapped out for KNTRY Radio Texas, an AM station hosted by an ever-hazy Willie Nelson. Here she re-contextualizes roots music—Americana, folk, country—for a contemporary moment, reminding listeners that Black artists were the genesis of these forms and never stopped playing them, despite what Hollywood or Nashville might have on offer....Despite drawing from the kitsch and fun of ’70s and ’80s country music, Cowboy Carter has an air of melancholy to it, a quality that reverberates through the scores of songs in minor keys about loneliness on the range.

^^ this is a playlist of the whole album on youtube, if you're into that. AMERIICAN REQUIEM, the opening track, is what hooked me-- i was in from the opening notes. but TEXAS HOLD EM' is also great. fuck yeah, rhiannon giddens.

watching so in addition to rewatching the entire sixth season of dropout's game changer today, last week we finished a truly wild show out of netflix italy: la legge di lidia poët / the law according to lidia poët, which is a historical mystery-romance like only netflix can make. is it bridgerton but for ninteenth century italian lawyers? is it the girlbossification of an actually interesting historical figure? yes, maybe, but everyone is very attractive and the costumes are bonkers in a satisfying way. she has insect themed jewellery, rides a bike, has a lot of sex, finds a decent relationship with her brother and, god help me, i do want a second season.

featuring, hey isn't that pasquale from my brilliant friend? and wow, they probably think this song choice is really cool but it is so on the nose in english it is almost distracting.

playing hollow knight! hollow knight. hollow knight. it's become a problem, actually, since i have quite literally turned my evening yoga time into gamer time, and would you believe, i am less flexible and have higher anxiety levels lmaoo. but i'm getting so powerful i don't care. i probably can't promise myself to beat this game any time soon, and should stop thinking i can, but look! two dreamers down?!

making patched the inner thighs of some jeans-- they will probably remain weekend pants, but they're further from dead than they were. similarly, clumsily darned a hole in my sweater. baked a caffeinated cake courtesy of a b. dylan hollis video (coffee loaf from 1959) . glued a wooden salad tong back together and i feel like the seams are actually quite subtle.

(this wood glue claims to be food safe after curing, pray for me etc etc).

working on ooof. i am done teaching but still owe two-three students emails. i survived my committee meeting but have done nothing to follow the schedule of deadlines we set me, despite being so excited to back on may 2 / so energized to do All the Things back on april 26. i have an article to prep to submit! a chapter to finish tweaking (reworking? reframing? changing from the ground up? lololololol)! not to mention a newsletter to draft and copy edits (almost done) to send back on a friend's article! but i can't stop playing hollow knight in all my free time, and really, what's more important here.

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

Instagram AU (volume i)

back to masterlist — volume ii — volume iii

a/n: I really wanted to add more visuals to the TBSG universe so here is a the first part of my Instagram AU!!! This volume is full of 'posts' that would've occurred during the span of the fic, future volumes will include ones from the time jump before the epilogue and maybe even after that too :)) lmk what u think! AND try to spot all of the tiny references to the fic i added 😝😝 love u

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trumanblack Taken on jamieoborne’s Leica

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rass1975 You look sad

↳ trumanblack What’s so bad about that mate

xfallingforyoux_ furry vibes ? jk

29 July, 2018

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este.manansala Favourite doorbell in Stockport

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_catekeeling what are u doing in stockport get out of there

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19 September, 2018

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trumanblack Proud of this one the1975 #abiior

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este.manansala Huge

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t_rumanb1ack ALBUM OF THE YEAR

30 November, 2018

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20 December, 2018

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este.manansala do NOT go to a the1975 show. all they'll do is play a really fantastic set but then not play your favourite song and the frontman will swear at you via selfie when u complain about it

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trumanblack Must be mistaken, I would never flip off a woman

_catekeeling best night ever kinda

24 January, 2019

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24 January, 2019

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este.manansala 50 years🌟

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trumanblack Flo + Jose 4ever

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g3orgiaheadley A beautiful night! So happy to be there!

↳ este.manansala They love u sm😭

10 February, 2019

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21 February, 2019

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trumanblack Still wiggling round on stage but now I'm 30 (📸: jordhughesphoto)

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bedforddanes75 Bday boyyyyy

r0bbers.stanx HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW!

templetonabigail hbd king

este.manansala Put the tongue away damn

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↳ este.manansala But happy 30th <3

--↳ trumanblack Not taking unsolicited tongue remarks rn

1975adam Old

8 April, 2019

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este.manansala I thought this was a silly little cat book but now I'm sick with optimism and a general appreciation for life

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trumanblack You're always sick with optimism

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25 April, 2019

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24 May, 2019

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trumanblack Manchester for the day

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bedforddanes75 That poster is brutal my god

iliwys42069 who is the girl tagged????

↳ trish2ledrew Idk I think a friend of the guys, they all follow her and shes from Manchester

↳ r0ssbassface matty has liked her posts since summer of last year lol and commented on a few too

2 July, 2019

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este.manansala Turned 28 last week, still been told off by my mum bout the piercing

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_catekeeling SHE'S 28!!!!!!!!!

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trumanblack Sexy bull vibes x

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↳ este.manansala That won't rest my case with mum, matty

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10 July, 2019

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trumanblack Yes I did say another album will be out this year, yes we're working on it, yes I regret telling you lot when it would be out bc it will probably take much longer than that

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este.manansala Nice hair

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1975adam We’re trying I swear

thankujodiverycool how much longer are we talking..

2 September, 2019

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este.manansala lolo is 76 !

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trumanblack Legend

g3orgiaheadley HBD Lolo (i NEEEED this food omg)

↳ trumanblack It was the dream tbh u should’ve been there

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3 April, 2020

[hooked-on-elvis]

"FOOLS RUSH IN (WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD)"

A song that grew on Elvis' liking, completely changing its rhythm before he decided to officially record it in the 70s.

Lyrics written by Johnny Mercer with music by Rube Bloom.

Elvis' version of "Fools Rush In" was first officially released on the album "Elvis Now" on February 20, 1972. Recording date: May 18, 1971. Released peak chart position: #43 Pop, #45 Country. RIAA status: Gold.

This is a 1940's popular song. It has been recorded many times over the years, including by Frank Sinatra, Julie London, Etta James, Brenda Lee, Doris Day, Dean Martin and many other singers before and after Elvis' recording in 1972, but the major hit was Rick Nelson's version, released in 1963. And here is where things get interesting.

You can listen to Nelson's recording below, which is pretty much similar to Elvis' cover on the rhythm and pace of the tune. I gotta say the echo on the voice channel in Nelson's recording doesn't please me much. It's a fair good recording, sure, but Elvis' one... it's dreamy! Like, I dare you not to fall head over feet in love with it.

According to "Elvis Presley: A Life in Music" book, by Ernst Jorgensen, Elvis was familiar to this song since the 60s, at least. And the best part is: He recorded the song back then during non-professional home recordings, on June 1966. Unfortunately the song is not fully sang but it's enough for us to see the rhythm is completely different from the official recording Presley came with in 1972. It's jazzy, soothing and peaceful, certainly inspired by one of the 40's versions of the song, such as Billy Eckstine recording released in 1947:

It was common for EP to decide recording his favorite songs, so it's great "Fools Rush In" came as a personal choice for his official recordings.

Chapter 10 - "1966: HOW GREAT THOU ART":

Singing and playing music with friends had always been a part of Elvis’s home life, but lately it had taken a new turn. Red West had bought two semiprofessional tape recorders for Elvis to use in producing demos, and Charlie Hodge had topped touring with country music veteran Jimmy Wakely and moved into Red’s Hollywood apartment to go to work for Elvis again full-time. Red was writing a lot of songs, and Charlie sometimes helped in overdubbing the demos he was putting together. They got Glen Campbell, then working as a session musician, and paid him twenty dollars to play guitar on some of the demos. Sometimes Red and Charlie would take the tape recorders over to Elvis at Rocca Place and the trio would lay down tracks, alone or with whoever else was around. Not surprisingly they turned often to their favorite gospel numbers — "Show Me Thy Ways", "He," "Hide Thou Me," "Oh, How I Love Jesus," or "I, John," another song Elvis would eventually record. Other times they simply tried anything that caught their fancy, from old standards like "Fools Rush In" and "It’s A Sin To Tell A Lie" to more contemporary material — "Blowin’ In The Wind," "What Now My Love," and "500 Miles." Often they dug into old country standards, and sometimes they even got Elvis to sing along on Red’s new tunes. In the intense yet comfortable atmosphere of collaboration with friends, Elvis had found an alternative to the endlessly tedious soundtrack recording process; at home he could work away at the music he loved, and that in its own rough way made a truer musical statement than anything he was likely to do under the employ of a Hollywood movie factory.

It's curious to me how Elvis leaned to Rick Nelson's 60s upbeat version of the same song himself sang in the 60s, instead of going with its more calm, 40s swing-era sound when he decided to turn "Fools Rush In" into an official recording of his own. In spite the fast-pace sound of the 1972 recording, Elvis carried the same passion in his voice he had on the 1966 home recording. Both versions sound like EP's pleading someone's love wholeheartedly. Probably his choice to go with the 60s version of this tune when covering it officially was a financial decision, thinking about the hit Rick Nelson's version was and also considering how the music in the 70s was no longer meant for "fools in love" confessing their deepest feelings in that fancy, elegant manner, more than it was better shouted from the top of its lungs for the whole world to hear - that's exactly how the 1972 Elvis version (inspired by the 60s version) sounds for me. Unafraid, prideful, rather than a secret spoken under one's breathes like the 40s versions sounds like (which I'm not complaining at all… it's beautiful anyway). Either a soothing ballad or a fast-pace tune, in general, "Fools Rush In (Where Angels Fear to Tread)" is a touching, encouraging, lovely song. ♥

I personally prefer the 70s version released by Elvis, but what about you? Which "Fools Rush In" version did you like best?

[herrlindemann]

Heavy Rock - 2004, interview with Paul + Review

'Reise Reise' is probably the biggest European metal release of the year, on September 27th the Germans reign supreme in their own right. We bring you to these pages our meeting with the guitarist Paul Landers, who passed through the capital to promote the album. Mario Rockdrigo hunted it in situ.

How has the acquired popularity affected the band?

We have overcome all this success and popularity quite well because it did not fall from the sky, that is, before we played in other groups and we have been making music for 10 years. We knew the business a bit and we weren't overwhelmed by it; besides we are no longer 17 years old - and so much, in fact Paul is about to turn 40 - and this helped us to have our feet on the ground.

The band's music so far hasn't noticed a lot of changes, aren't you afraid of falling into monotony?

It has always been our dream to sound monotonous, although on this album we are less so than on the first, 'Herzeleid', because there are two types of monotony: one boring and one interesting, and if our case were the first we would not have reached our goal.

What are the expectations of the band towards this new album?

It is always somewhat difficult to explain the expectations of each one and if I am honest, one does not stop being afraid of rejection and of not liking anyone, but you never really know beforehand what is going to happen. When we made the album we thought more about finishing songs that we liked and we concentrated on that, we didn't ramble so much about how the release was going to be, how successful we were going to be, but if you ask me now about my forecast I think that we are going to have success.

The album was curiously recorded in Malaga; why this choice?

When we record a record we always like to go out; We prefer not to do it in Germany and when deciding we look a little at the temperatures at that time. In this case it was winter and we wanted to go to a place where there was good weather; Last year we were in France and this year we were looking for a new place, when they showed us the photos of 'El Cortijo' we liked it right away and we quickly decided to go there, we also like Spanish coffee. What is also important to note is that we either need mountains or the sea and in this case we had both.

In this new production there is a greater emphasis on the guitars, which have even more gray hair…

It's interesting because at first we thought to give less weight to the guitars, but it may be that since we've also applied less electronics, synthesizers, sequences or rave mix, they sound better or stronger. Basically Christoph Schneider, our drummer, is to blame, because he was tired of having so much electronic and so many support devices; he suggested that it was necessary to remove all the surrounding paraphernalia and do what we knew how: play.

What are the topics in the lyrics of this new production?

Well, I am going to go into the details a little, for example, a song is called «I have to destroy... but the things that do not belong to me»; In 'Mein Teil', the first single, we reflect a story that happened in Germany, about a case of cannibalism, that of the Rotenburg Cannibal, in which a man voluntarily let himself be eaten by another. In another song we deal with the theme of a well-known poem in our country that talks about a father who is going to kill his son for fear that he will die anyway because the plane they are on falls down. We also treat symbolically, in another song, the story of a man who is walling his wife in the foundation of her house and it's called ‘Stein um Stein.’

You will surely know this question well, but it is necessary to ask it given the gray of the album... Is Rammstein a metal band?

It is quite difficult for a musician to classify himself or box himself in and the usual answer is a bit evasive; It is really difficult to classify Rammstein because we use elements from different styles of music and therefore we cannot say that we are a metal band. On this new album it's especially hard to say what kind of music we represent, just pointing out that it's rock music is a bit gross, it's not right to classify it that way but it's probably the closest thing to it.

What has been Rammstein's formula to achieve success in a German scene full of bands with similar styles like Blind Passengers, In Extremo, KMFDM and in other times Die Krupps?

If there were a formula for success there would be more successful groups.

It's always easier to look back, wonder why a certain group had it and why another didn't. I think that to have it, you first need a vocalist who has charisma and some empathy, in addition to the main thing, good music... although you also need luck.

What are the future plans for Rammstein?

It's simple, in November we are going to start our European tour and we will go, among other countries, to Spain.

What is Rammstein's message for his followers?

We have really enjoyed making this album and we are sure you will enjoy it too. Success, if you really look for it you will get it. Leave your profession, do what you really like and you will succeed.

‘Mein Teil’, the polemics

No one escapes the band's desire to create controversy, in fact the first photo session that appeared this summer -white shirt and tie- seems to be taken from "Days of Fury" (1993), the film starring Michael Douglas where an exemplary worker goes crazy loading up on weapons and wreaking havoc in his city.

The story of the Rotenburg cannibal was still very recent and the gang knows perfectly well which is the best sore to stick their finger. The case of the computer expert Armin Meiwes and the electronic engineer with whom he had relations and whom he devoured with his consent horrified the entire world, and the lyrics of the song, which contain phrases such as "I want my share" or "you are what you eat ' has raised blisters. To make matters worse, you can find obvious parallels to some images of the video clip. Let us remember that devourer and devoured ate the second's penis; well, here we can see how an angel has sex or prays with Till Lindemann while he is tearing it apart and eating it little by little. In addition, the musicians appear happily, on a short leash, dragging themselves through the streets of the city with the faces of rabid and... hungry dogs. In the video they can also be seen in agonizing or deranged actions, adding as a curiosity that the guitarist Richard Kruspe appears fighting 'against himself'; In reality, it is a double that was searched through the group's website.

The clip was filmed in Berlin on June 2 and 3 by a team of 50 people led by Zoran Bihac ('Links 2 3 4'), also the author of the concept with the group. The original filming location was the Babelsberg studios, but they were occupied by the 'Mission Impossible 3' crew, so they transformed the Treptow pavilion for that purpose. The external images, shot during the second day, correspond to the German Opera, located in Bismarckstrasse. The premiere took place on July 8.

In order to understand how tremendously popular/unpopular the case of the cannibal in Teutonic lands continues to be, it should be noted that a film version of the story is being prepared by Rosa von Praunheim, an experienced and renowned director, icon of the gay movement in Germany, who will title the film. 'Your Heart in my Brain'.

‘Mein Teil’ has been sold as a maxi cd jewel case (in a special plastic jewelery box) with the following content: [1] ‘Mein Teil’ - 4:23. [2] 'Mein Teil' (You are what you eat), Pet Shop Boys remix - 4:07. [3] 'Mein Teil' (The return to the New York buffet mix), remix by Arthur Baker (famous predictor who has worked with Dylan, Springsteen, Beastie Boys or New Order among bulls) - 7:22. [4] ‘Mein Teil’ (There are no guitars on this mix), disco remix again by electronic poppers Pet Shop Boys - 7:20.

There are also versions in digipack (with cardboard box) and pock-it single (smaller than normal), the latter with only the first two cuts. In some countries there will be a standard single with the two songs from the pock-it, and there is even a restricted version on vinyl with a different track-list than all the other editions, specially designed for dk's.

The digipack and jewel versions come with a personal and non-transferable single-use code to charge access to a special area of the group's website where high-resolution photos or videos are accessed and which will be updated until the end of the year.

Each one of the different editions is being a success, once again the talk against the group has no effect, as shown by the fact that the aforementioned single has (at 2 in Germany) or that the song 'Mein Herz brennt' which opened 'Mutter' now appears in a Mercedes Benz advertisement on English television.

Rammstein uses false praise to mock the "Americanization" to which we have been subtly subjected, decade after decade, by the US. First, the group appears stepping on the moon, emulating the feat of Armstrong and company. (In fact, towards the end, the six musicians dance holding each other and in a circle around the stigmatized Yankee flag). The rest of the video is, however, even more revealing, different ethnic groups succumb to trash culture: an African tribe eats pizza while watching TV and is visited by Santa Claus, a Mohammedan prays in the direction of an oil extractor, a A Hindu smokes filter cigarettes, a Japanese dressed as a rocker combs his hair on the back of his motorcycle, Tibetan children eat hamburgers and drink a certain soft drink...

Great, a work of art that will help us enter this 21st century without trauma, where we will have to get rid of all the prejudices that one of the countries with the least history, tradition and, ultimately, culture on the globe has "inflicted" on us.

The video was recorded on August 6 and 7 -in days ranging from 5:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m.- under the orders of director Jörn Heitmann (head of 'Ich will' or 'Sonne' for example) in an abandoned chemical plant in Rüdersdorf, a town near Berlin. For the lunar scenes, 240 tons of ash were used. The team worked quickly, since the premiere took place on October 11. As for its commercial version, the second single, which goes on sale at the beginning of October as a maxi, contains: 1- Amerika 2- Amerika (in English) 3- Amerika (Digital Hardcore Mix by Alec Empire) 4- Amerika (Western Remix by Olson Involtini) 5- Amerika (Andy Panthen & Mat Diaz's Clubmix) 6- Amerika (Electro Ghetto Remix by Bushido and Ilan) 7- Amerika (Jam & Spoon So kann's gehen Mix) 8- Mein Herz Brennt Orchesterlied V ( Album Version).

Here is the content of the album, which by the way will appear in two formats, normal (with plastic box) and digipack.

1. 'Reise, Reise' - The soft passage of the keyboard to the beat of a cadent tempo is broken by the force of the string instruments, which will soon drift towards gloomy paths. The chorus, where a female choir is heard, has a lot to do with traditional German music, approaching the sound of In Extremo.

2. 'Amerika' - A ditty as silly as the words that accompany it: 'We're living in America', but one that will surely become one of their definitive anthems. Ideal to sing it in your concerts.

3. 'Daila Lama' - Disturbing clean guitar riff is the tapestry on which Till's lower registers are drawn, degenerating into a thumping accompaniment, the loop repeats before entering a lighter part, where keys emerge and female voices.

4. 'Keine lust'. The initial Paz lasts a few seconds, because when the guitars come in we come across one of the most forceful songs in his discography, clearly indebted to Rammstein's music, not being especially fast. The contrast comes at the end of the chorus, with the vocalist adopting a tone of suffered delicacy.

5. 'Morgenstern'. A mixed vocal chorus intones a chant of sorrow before the group rudely breaks in again, though by now the riffs in what you've been listening to are beginning to all seem similar. Once again German folk makes an appearance in the chorus. The drum rhythms walk towards Latin without this affecting the compactness of the song.

6. 'Stein um Stein'. Relaxed beginning where the corpulent homogeneity that was already turning out to be monotonous is lost to immerse ourselves in a piece where the group is no less epic for this reason. Lindemann displays all of his amalgamation of vocal resources.

7. 'Mein teil'. Knowing what the topic is about, and once you've seen the video, the gloomy initial keys scare you a bit. It is perhaps the cut where there is more electronic resource, like the strange effects of Flake in the verse or the synthesized sound of the bass.

8. ‘Ohne dich’. The ballad on the record, with the air of a lullaby and absolutely heir to the musical traditions of his land.

9. ‘Amour’. The last section of the cd lowers the intensity, since we are facing another composition with a calm look, in fact the base is essentially pop, although the voice makes the difference. It escapes no one that this band also sucks from The Cure, Bauhaus and many others.

10. ‘Los’. They recover a characteristic of 'Mutter', the use of acoustic guitars to face mastontic riffs. It retains the band's stamp, but a bluesy plucking ends up throwing you off balance.

11. 'Moskau'. Once again the 80s make an appearance, a sinister halo without being a particularly heavy song where Till takes turns taking turns with a lively voice.

From September 27 when ‘Reise Reise’ sees the light until the beginning of November when the presentation tour begins, there is a good stretch that will serve the fans to learn it from beginning to end before going live.

That seems to be the intention of the group, which is seen to be very convinced of the result of the work, which is why it will possibly emphasize the repertoires with it; On the other hand, this way the group will have more time to rehearse and to finalize the production of the show, which will surely be impressive once again.

The starting signal will be given with their only German concert in November, on the 1st in Mannheim. Then they will set foot, with only one performance per country, Belgium, Holland and Portugal, that will be before disembarking in the European country with the most performances except Germany, which is... Spain! There are three shows planned with which it is verified that there is a special connection between Rammstein and the Iberian Peninsula: 10 Madrid (La Cubierta), 11 Barcelona (Palau Olympic de Badalona) and 12 San Sebastián (Anoeta Velodrome). The following stops will be in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Russia, Poland and the Czech Republic, ending on December 5 in Switzerland, always with a concert in each country except Russia, which will have two dates. Back in Germany they will be performing there until the middle of the last month of the year, culminating the European tour with two performances at the Velodrome in Berlin.

After the Christmas holidays, the natural step would be for them to cross the pond, either to the States or to Latin America, although these are assumptions without great value, especially in the case of a group as unpredictable as Rammstein; they could always spin more for Europe or opt for other areas such as Japan or Australia.

[northwestofinsanity]

Classic Rock Sleepover Asks 2.0

The classic rock fandom twist on the “sleepover ask” concept -revamped over a year later with an extended question list for all to enjoy spending the night getting deep and specific about our beloved old musicians and their timeless songs

1) Name an album you can listen to all the way through without skipping a song

2) What is an interesting fact about one of your favorite bands that not a lot of people might know?

3) What’s one of the funniest band stories you’ve ever heard?  What happened?

4) Name two songs by two different bands that sound similar or have the same sort of theme/vibe (but aren’t often recognized for this)

5) Do you have a “comfort album”? (an album you like to play in the background when you’re sick, going through a hard time, etc.) If so, what is it?  Is there a particular reason it’s your comfort album?

6) Do you have any head canons about a band or any of its members? (Specify a band when asking!)

7) Is there a band you love that has done something that really disappointed you?  What was it?

8) What member of your favorite band must be protected at all costs, and why?

9) Tell me a funny, random quote from a rock star.

10) Name 2 to 5 random rock stars from different bands in your ask, and I’ll try to come up with a scenario of what would happen if they were in the same room together!

11) What’s a song you have a memory strongly associated with?

12) What’s a band you really love but haven’t posted as much for/haven’t posted at all on Tumblr?  Any reason why?

13) Do you have a band that you were once ashamed for liking?  If so, are you still ashamed, or did you get past that -and what makes you proud of liking them now?

14) Is there a band you like that you used to hate?  Why did you not like them at first, and what changed that for you?

15) What’s a song or band you got into by chance of just happening to be in the right place while it was playing, and may have never known without that one experience?

16) Name an artist you grew up listening to who you can always go back to and enjoy.

17) Do you have any bands or band members that you have a love/hate relationship with?  Who and why?

18) Name a song that you love, but have to be in a very specific mood to listen to

19) Have you had any dreams involving rock stars?  Pick one dream, and tell who showed up in it.  If you feel comfortable, share what happened.

20) Name some bands/artists in your music library that you feel are most different from each other, or represent the far range of styles you like

21) Is there a band you like the music of, but dislike some or all of the members, to the point where you simply cannot get into them beyond the songs?

22) Is there a band/artist you feel gets misrepresented, and might have had more fans otherwise?

23) Tell me a band member or solo artist who you feel you can relate to in some specific way.

24) What’s a deep cut that you feel deserves more love (specify a band/artist when asking!)

25) Name a song that you love by an artist you otherwise don’t usually like.

26) Go on a rant about one of your favorites and why you love them so much!

27) Show me one of your favorite pictures of one of your favorites. Ramble about why it’s your favorite picture if you like!

28) Share a video and a time stamp of one of your favorite moments involving one of your favorite bands/artists

29) If you could choose one song by a band that doesn’t currently get played on classic rock stations, or greatest hits stations featuring a lot of older songs to be added to their regular playlists, what would you choose? (Specify a band/artist when asking!)

30) What’s the longest you’ve kept a song on repeat for, and what song was it? Did it get old by the time you turned it off, or did you still want to hear it more later?

[foxes-that-run]

Delicate

"Delicate is really a song about the switching back and forth between feeling confident enough to have somebody like you back and then feeling insecure, deeply deeply insecure, that no one would ever like you back and you go back and forth between that emotion the entire song." - Taylor in the BTS

To me, she is saying Delicate is the insecure side to Slut!'s confidence. The video has several references to Harry Styles.

"The entire video has this overarching narrative of this girl is past a magical note from the person she would love to meet up with later that turns her invisible and she's able to sneak out of this event and go meet up with him all the while being completely invisible."

People, she can't make it clearer who this is about. The man who hands the note is dressed like Harry at the 2013 VMAs when she also wore a navy dress when they were seen texting each other (notes). In the BTS we can see more of him - a dark haired male celebrity (also talking to press) in a patterned suit. I know someone that fits that bill. This post is about Ed’s inspiration for Tenerife sea that same night.

In the BTS (1:10) in the scene where she reads the note she says:

So I am reading the note and I am kind of happy, but then sad because I realise I can't be him.. and you know.

The statues behind Taylor reference Harry's Gucci and Grateful Dead Rings.

And Harry referenced the song title in Little Freak lyrics and video for the As it Was and Daylight videos.

The film clip includes 'Joe's diner' in the street, like Ready for it...? in the Ready for it BTS she isn't sweet when highlights that it's pointed and sassy.

When was it made

Taylor wore the outfit in the Making of the Song on 17 January 2016 in La.

Lyrics

[Intro] This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

A theme of the album is taking back power from drama. The muse is someone TS sees as there for her. Anti-hero is an interesting continuation of this feeling. It is sad to think that now she has an even higher level of fame this feeling may be harder to grasp.

The line about promises is interesting, by September 2016 Taylor was a single 28 year old who could (and did) make promises to YB. It could refer to prioritising her career over personal life. The promises may be able to make because it refers to the Gorgeous, I did Something Bad & High Infidelity timeline, around April 29, 2016, when HS was launching a solo career and TS was with CH.

[Verse 1] Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here, you can meet me in the back Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh, damn, never seen that color blue Just think of the fun things we could do

In Wish you Would and other 1989 songs Taylor talks about late night texts and meet ups. HS was also in New York a lot and wore skinny dark jeans for what seemed like all of 2016.

To me, "oh damn, never seen that color blue" is referring to the depression she was experiencing. In the MV Taylor wears a deep blue dress, she was in a deep depression and connecting with this muse helped her through. Taylor again refers to blue as depression in many songs throughout her discography.

Sometimes when you sleep at night I wonder if .... Sometimes I look in your eyes and pretend your mine I do it all the time Is it cool that I said all that.... Sometimes I wonder when you sleep are you dreaming of being with me... do you ever dream of me

References to dreaming of each other is a theme in the 1989 songs. In 2016 HS and TS were not together, it seems from other songs of this period they met, which makes sense for the line of pretending they are together all the time, whereas YB was single and could and would be with TS.

[Chorus] Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate) Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

The Chorus perfectly captures having a tentative conversation about one’s desire. A lack of communication is a strong theme in TS/HS songs about each other. The chorus acknowledges that they have a history and being romantic is delicate they have hurt each other before. Other songs that refer to not communicating are Two Ghost’s, Maroon, the 1, satellite, and more.

Many songs from HS and TS describe that they cannot get the other out of their head/move on.

[Verse 2] Third floor on the West Side, me and you Handsome, you're a mansion with a view Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

HS bought an apartment on the 3rd floor on the west side while TS was making Reputation. Taylor’s is on the 5th floor. Joe did not live in New York.

Wildest Dreams has a similar lyric: His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room.

[Bridge] Sometimes, I wonder, when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes, when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine all the damn time

A lot of TS's songs about HS refer to dreams:

Blank Space: 'Cause darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream

Style: You’ve got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

Wildest Dreams: Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

This Love: In silent screams, in wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this

…Ready For It?: In the middle of the night, in my dreams

Gold Rush: I can’t dare to dream about you anymore

Snow On The Beach: Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful

Hits Different: Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

But wait there's still more times Taylor has linked Delicate to Harry:

The Era's visuals are Styles

When she introduced it in Dallas on the Reputation Tour she linked it to being called names (like Slut!) perhaps.

And the Vertical Video was released for their anniversary 20 May in 2018, people even commented how random that was as it had been out for ages.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 04/02/2024

[SFM] The Voice's Day Off

Season 3 No Album Release (Read More) Idle - Garry's Mod

Ripped by NBGMusic

Requested by @undertale-vs-fortnite-who-wins!

Look - To tell you that I was DELIGHTED to see this request come into my askbox would be an absolute understatement. In my coverage of SiIvaGunner through this blog, I want to try and touch on as many different parts of its history as possible, to introduce and remind fans new and old of just how many things have been put on the channel in its life. Yet somehow in doing that, I'd forgotten entirely about the Garry's Mod rips, which given their quality is a damn crime.

For that specific generation of internet users who have only recently turned into adults, it's a universal truth that Source Filmmaker (SFM, for short) fucking rules. Released by Valve onto Steam back in 2012, its the software that the company themselves used to animate cinematics within and to promote their own games from around that time - only now being distributed for free to anyone using Steam to use. This opened the floodgates for a whole new wave of amateur animators to fuck around with all sorts of film-making, either by using Valve's own characters such as the cast of Team Fortress 2 or by using models shared on the Workshop. Not too dissimilar to the chaotic and openly unrefined world of YouTube Poop, the resulting wave of SFM animation would be defined by its imperfections - ragdolling characters, distorted facial animations, and generally crazy over-exaggerated animation placed upon environments that looked noticeably stock and standard by comparison.

On SiIvaGunner, the rips of Garry's Mod (a sandbox game that was often used before SFM to make faux-animations/Machinima) are all made to pay tribute to this specific part of internet culture, with SFM animations made within SiIvaGunner's set of inside jokes. And god, man, [SFM] The Voice's Day Off in particular just brings me back to such a fun time on the channel in general. I'll still likely forever say that Season 2 was my favorite time to be invested in the channel due to just how much constant lore development seemed to be occurring at every moment, but...for as engrossing-yet-absurd as those Christmas Comeback Crisis episodes were, there was something refreshing about Season 3 scaling back on things a bit - yet still letting us keep tabs on it all with side episodes and the Haltmann Archives data logs. And yeah, the channel was still definitely going down a sillier, more chaotic path over the course of the Season, and by the start of Season 4 the lore had effectively been put on hold entirely to focus more on the core of the channel. But the result of that shift in focus has left Season 3 as feeling like a sort of crossroads in my mind: as that period of time where the entire community was still aware of and hotly anticipating any and all lore developments and updates on our favorite CCC characters, while still being fully aware that we probably weren't going to see a new main episode any time soon. We were all just lore aware enough to begin having communal fun with all forms of SiIvaGunner lore-shitposting.

Look, what I'm getting at is: [SFM] The Voice's Day Off is an immensely silly animation, yet what its parodying is the SiIvaGunner lore itself. It's an animation where the entire joke is built on the characterization of SiIvaGunner-original character, more than it is about the pop culture that otherwise influences the channel so much more frequently. I am of course immensely happy with how The Voice was portrayed in his grand return in Season 7's Christmas Comeback Crisis episode, yet in those years of time off between Episode 10 and 11 it was the rips like [SFM] The Voice's Day Off that reminded us in the community that The Voice still existed, and that he still very much mattered. Silly of a video as it may be, it is still just a genuinely funny concept and execution for a parody video, given the genuinely evil characterization he has in the storyline. There's just something so fun about seeing the guy sing and boast about his perfectly normal sunday afternoon, althewhile it consists of just as much murderous rampage as he seeks to indulge in during his time in the canon material. Silly parody content or not, even through the often intentionally crude animation, it really was rips like this that helped inform my understanding on The Voice as a character, in particular his love for the theatrical and the borderline flamboyancy he exudes.

...I feel like this post is delving ever closer into character-overanalysis territory akin to Vote Responsibly!!, but I can't help it - I fucking love SiIvaGunner and its lore, and I find The Voice in particular to still be one of the channel's most compelling pieces. And though it's definitely true that he was turned into more of an in-joke within the community during his years off the clock after Season 2, no doubt in part thanks to rips just like [SFM] The Voice's Day Off...I'm still glad silly shit like it was able to exist at all before his grand return. Because for as often-disconnected as I've felt from SiIvaGunner as a community, it felt damn good to be laughing together over the characterization of our favorite pyramid-headed bastard.

[rhapsodynew]

#Did you know that this is a cover?📌

"But we all often glorify the former, not knowing that we glorify only the latter..."

Agree, it's a bit insulting if you were the first to perform (or even worse, write and perform) some kind of song, and all the laurels and national love were collected by someone else's cover, which, in addition, many perceive as the original.

«Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon»

Neil Diamond The Bang Years 1966-1968

Needless to say, the soundtrack to the movie "Pulp Fiction" (1994) is almost all good. But there is also a favorite here - the charming song "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon" performed by the band URGE OVERKILL. The one that Uma Thurman's character dances to before sniffing the wrong powder.

Knowing the love of director Quentin Tarantin for the "old" music of the 1950s and 70s, it is not surprising that the song turned out to be old - albeit in a new performance. It was written and released as a single back in 1967 by American singer Neil Diamond. And, although the song was already in the TOP 10 at that time, over the years it had been forgotten.

«Hallelujah»

The song "Hallelujah", which has already tired the listener with countless covers, actually went to its glory for a very long time. The original 1984, recorded by the author of the song - Leonard Cohen - almost no one noticed.

In 1994, "Hallelujah" was recorded by Jeff Buckley on his album Grace. He abandoned the rich arrangement and performed the song simply with an acoustic guitar. As it turned out, it is this kind of performance that will really touch the audience. But the young man will not live to see this moment. After all, at first his album was not selling well, and in 1997 Buckley drowned in the river. Only 10 years later, "Hallelujah" was re-released as a single, the single became "platinum", after which there was no end of those who wanted to sing the song.

«White Dove»

On the collections of ballads by the German band SCORPIONS, released since 1994, you can find a composition called "White Dove" ("White Dove"), dedicated, as it is not difficult to guess, to "world peace". Many rock music fans of the older generation know perfectly well where the legs of this beautiful song "grow from." But the younger ones may need to be enlightened...

To do this, we need to go back 25 years to the time of the existence of the Eastern European socialist bloc, which included Hungary. It was in Hungary that one of the most famous rock bands of the socialist camp, called OMEGA, appeared.

The career of Magyar rockers began quite successfully. In 1968, they were noticed by British manager John Martin and invited to tour the Foggy Albion. OMEGA's debut album was also released there under the characteristic name "Omega Red Star from Hungary" — "OMEGA — red star from Hungary" (at home the record was called differently "Trombitas Fredi es a rettenetes emberek").

The group wanted to record a second album in Britain, but the Hungarian leadership did not visit OMEGA to the capitalists They liked it, and they were banned from traveling to Britain. But in vain. It was the 1969 record, "10000 lepes" ("10000 steps"), that the band released very successfully.

It was on it that OMEGA's biggest hit "Gyongyhaju Lany" ("Girl's Hair") was recorded — a beautiful ballad with a fashionable psychedelic tinge and a piercing anthemic chorus that could be sung along with the audience. In the spirit of the times, there was also a romantic and mystical text about a mysterious beauty with pearl hair, instilling light and hope into people's souls.

In 1970, "Gyongyhaju Lany" was released as a single and topped the Hungarian charts for 60 weeks.

Feeling the great potential of the song, the band recorded two more versions called "Pearls in her Hair": English ("Pearls in her hair") and German ("Perlen im Haar").

to be continued....