#this album isnt bad tho

[real-life-cloud]

:) 🧡

[star-mum]

So Olivia Rodrigo huh...

NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS !!! BUT I WANTED TO !! So GUTS first impressions

(all songs except from Vampire I listened to for the first time today, so these could change)

[viir-tanadhal]

wanted to give depeche mode a chance because i knew they probably wouldn't be my thing because i've listened to violator - i like violator besides 2 songs on it - and a few 80s singles but there were stuff I didn't like with violator and it seemed like a recurring issue so i haven't really given them an in-depth listen. thought i'd just go ahead and give them a discography listen anyway to formulate my opinion so i'm up to exciter now and yeah. meh.

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Btw that lil meltdown I had a while ago, the one about not having any safe spaces, was caused because I was thinking about pet regression. Like, today's stress made me feel more dog like. And I was wondering, if the things I feel classify as pet regression, and if not, if I could be able to achieve that if I like, just fully allowed myself to lean into that. And then I was like, yeah but I don't have any opportunities to try because i never feel fully safe and comfortable enough. So yeah once again everything is about me being a dog

[utahlive]

No episode today (i have a test i gotta study for booo) :( However in usual “no episode today” style, I’ve got some behind the scenes stuff! (+ answering asks). I’m really glad you guys like hearing about this part of the blog :D

It’s a little long so I’m putting it under the cut

So my latest method of answering asks is to write a quick outline/reply and save it in drafts (as opposed to what I was doing, which was copy pasting asks into the notes app and writing replies there. dont ask whats wrong with me; I dont know). Anyway this specific comic had its first ‘script’ (shoutout to @/ghostburface for the ask)

I usually draw out what I imagine happening and then add text to hit the points im aiming for, but I did the opposite in this one. I had a lot of trouble figuring out the actual visuals for this one

(For the record I tried to find the original price of the glasses on the las Nevadas merch page but it wasn’t there. I remember losing my mind over the price tho)

attempt/draft 2 (sort of) since I wasn’t sure about the layout. I was really hoping to just have three panels (as you can see by the “if 3 that would be epic” note above)

And then I transferred it digitally! I did go over the script in DMs with my friend so it ended up as it did I did see one person pointing out the whole “rose colored glasses” thing (shout out to you fr !!). I had a lot of meaning I was going for with this one but I have a hard time finding a middle ground between “so obscure its not there” and “way too obvious”

I also wanted to answer some asks (as per usual :3 because I love talking with you guys)

I wish he would grow it out!! However as anyone who’s gone from short to long hair... the awkward phase is NOT pretty. I did hear on one of his streams he might cut it when the EP comes out rather than the album. because he’s a coward (but I can’t blame him)

who doesnt feel like ripping up their pillow though, amiright fellas? Shout out to all the utahlive fictives out there (I’ve heard of reported sightings). Would love to talk to you guys some day <3 It still baffles my mind that this blog leaves any sort of lasting impression on people (for reals though, I hope you guys are ok!!)

this one isnt directed at me but I just think its funny you say this because summer 2022 I went to the Winchester house with my friends, but we all decided it wasn’t worth the price so we just checked out the gift shop and walked around the outside for about two hours. it’s actually very pretty! super cool architecture

this one is under the “what would you recommend I get at the gas station”

It’s also not a question but I think it would be funny to let you know I wrote and queued that post (and the other one posted that day) at like 5am I don’t know how I missed it because I usually check my posts the next morning before they get posted I know it’s bad I’m trying real hard to get my sleep schedule to be normal (this post is sponsored by melatonin tablets)

GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY 🤺🤺🤺

I assume you’re talking about the mcytblr sexyman poll?? Im already making predictions and bets in my head on this one but Ill be fighting for MY meowmeows till my last breath

[mayoiayasep]

I ranked enstars trip albums by how much i want to wear the outfits.👍🏾 rambling below cut

fine - tori makes this outfit look so cute but i just dont think it would look that good on me 😔 also i dont like pants that hang above my ankles. the fit itself is super cute and i have nothing against it tho

trickstar - another one where it looks really cute on the characters but i just dunno if it would fit me, also aside form the accessories it does seem a bit like just a regular dark colored suit...

ryuseitai - i've been a power rangers girl for years and this outfit looks so cool, like even if you take away how much symbolism it has for ryuseitai i would still want to wear it

alkaloid - the outfit is just so cool. like look at it i wanna wear that shit so bad, one qualm is that it does look a bit heavy/hot but its a worthy sacrifice tbh

eden - its the green. if it were literally any other color scheme it would be in "eh" but that shade of green would not work w me

valkyrie - its not as elaborate as some of the other outfits so thats why it isnt as high but i would still absolutely take it if it was given to me......corset.....

2wink: its fun!!! its so fun i love the flare-out shorts and their high laceup boots and their little hats with their colors<33 if i were to be specific i would probably pick hinatas bc i think purple/pink looks better on me

crazy b - another fun looking one! while in practice i dont know how much i would like it in theory i adore the jeanjacket/jacket over hoodie combo, the sneakers and jeans just pull the whole outfit together and it does feel like something i could wear weekly!

undead - i moved this one up while making the post bc i took a proper look at it and yea. i would definitely want to wear this one. blue's my favorite color so the general dark blue+ color palette along with the flowy material at the wrists and waist make it look soooo fun

ra*bits - i would commit crimes to wear this outfit. im being so serious ra*bits wins best trip album outfit award

akatsuki - in general the traditional japanese style outfits akatsuki wears seem like they would be fun to wear, they also however look. very heavy. i do really like the patterns and flow of the clothing tho so i would def wear it to try if i could!

knights - it looks cute but it genuinely just doesnt stick out as something i want to wear all that much

switch - pink crop top👍🏾

double face - tbh the only thing keeping it from the "eh" cateogory is the pattern on the outfit, the space/nebula print is sooo pretty<33

[lenasprouts-words]

olderbrother!skz headcanons pt 2!!

ahh maknae line! hyung line

han

you guys are inseparable

you also get mad at minho for stealing your brother

also han and u are actual soulmates

minho is second (and less cool in ur opinion)

only about one-two years apart

when yall meet he does the ‘where my hug at?’ thing

its either you koala hug him or he does

just like, legs wrapped around waist typa hug

or he’ll bury his face into your armpit

you think it’s disgusting but he argues its comfy 

he sends you all his photos he wants to post

then you choose the ones you like 

he likes anime; you like kdramas

constantly fighting abt which is better

it got so heated once that even felix rose his voice for yall to stfu

its okay tho u made up a day after and went to the park to have a singing contest

you watch silly documentaries together

your chat is filled with stupid jokes and complaints

but he’s the first to know when something is wrong

started dissing this kid who bullied you in fifth grade

he got sent to the office but gave you a hug right before

steals things from photoshoots to give to you

spams you when he’s in the studio

asks you for lyric inspo and uses your terrible love life as inspo

once you showed one of his songs to your partner

’my brother wrote this about my last ex. dont make him do it again, he cried writing it.’

well your partner also cried so

matching stuffed animals <3

asks you to help him learn twice choreo

bc ur a huge once

he also got you a signed album from them

’oh here noonas gave me this idk why tho’

felix

loves you to death.

like fr its scary

youre four-five years younger than him

so you basically have eight older brothers

nicknamed you smiley bc your smile is the cutest thing ever (and it is)

runs to you calling ‘smiley!!!’

and lifts you off the ground when you hug

he hooks his chin around your shoulder and smells you

you think him smelling you is weird but it isnt

bc according to him you smell like ‘vanilla and lavenders and lemon’

it is so very random but you love it anyways

you two balance each other out so well, in a really weird way tho

like he’s hyper and energetic and sweet

while your active and excited and a little bitter

your insults and comebacks make him cry laugh every time

and you do the same with felix

he will NEVER shut up abt you trust

like seungmin once put him on a ban from talking about you

but he just started texting about you so

taught you taekwando

and now you fight hand to hand against changbin (and win most times)

felix doesnt like it tho bc ‘changbinnie'll get hurt and cry!’

both of your puberty hormones went to your voice box

his got deeper and huskier; yours is silkier and in the middle tone range leaning deep

but its like a rich deep ya know?

when he’s sleepy he starts mumbling random sentences and you record them snd send them to you group chat named ‘skz (-1 sunshine +1 smiley)’

if seungmin thought felix was bad at gaming, youre even worse

most of the time you end up dying

its funny because you started gaming before felix did too

you gave each other sweatshirts for white day in korea

and now your roommate hates when you use it because its so worn down and lowk smelly

jeongin has to beg felix to take it off and put it in the wash

dance parties at random times

especially if you or felix are feeling down

the playlist ‘HOE DANCE DOWN!’ is blasting

consisting of twice, charli xcx, dua lipa, and olivia rodrigo

other artists too and some from jyp bc felix loves his jypnation

not jyp tho anytime felix complains abt the ‘stupid motherfucker who wont shut up and has no talent and too much confidence’

complains ESPECIALLY while yall r playing fortnite, on your request

baking is your shared therapy

felix makes brownies, you make cookies

perfect duo in the kitchen

you bake so often that watching you two is like a dance

members will literally watch you bake and you flip them off

‘LIXIE I GOT FLIPPED OFF AGAIN!’

‘JISUNG STOP BEING A CREEP!!’

rock paper scissors is YOUR thing

like felix will just turn to you and stick his fist out

you also win almost every time

seungmin

you literally have twin telepathy

mainly bc your twins but he is also thirty two minutes older

so, day ones

gatekeeps you from his friends but not the group

because somehow they already knew who you were

you introduced yourself to them the day they debuted

only pretends to be sad abt not being a twin in the group

because he already has you and wouldnt change it for anything

the only person he will not hesitate from skinship is you

pats on the head, chin on shoulder, holding hands, occasional squeezing

his hugs are your safe spot

he’d tap you on the shoulder and take your arm

then he starts massaging you after pulling you into the hug

and it feels so good

and he’s surprisingly good at it too

treats you like a baby bc ur the youngest in you family (by a half hour)

once got you a new phone to stop you from complaining

you think its because he loves you but that is denied every time (its true tho, bc who wouldnt love you?)

only person who can calm you down

when you get too mad

he’ll call you or lay next to you

rub your back until you calm down

if youre on call he’ll put on music and start singing random shit

youre the orange kitty to his golden retriever puppy

you literally paw at him until he gives you his attention

he’ll get excited and its the cutest thing you’ve seen

wakes you up by singing the high note in ‘cover me’ in your ear

ever since he’d recorded that he’s been bragging abt it

but you dont mind bc his singing is nice and you know he would feel the same if you bragged about your fashion designs and website

every day you leave him sweet messages (like his older sister!!)

‘oh seungmo, love your hair today! your smile lit up my room puppy’

in return he sends cute gifs

he also learned french from the i am you tour to swear at you

asks for help in english before events/interviews where english will be used

you were the one who calmed his worries before the paris fashion week

since youre an english and fashion design major he relies on you

he will also never get over the fact that his TWIN is double majoring

your literally jeongin’s favorite tho

bc if seungmin says no you’ll say yes

very very mischevious

if one of you are having a bad day

you’ll just bring the other to a rage room

very effective

jeongin

he’s the maknae of the group and hates getting babied

so he automatically doesn’t baby you

maybe he does a little bit….

but thats because you told him it was okay and you liked it

youre around three years younger than him

so everyone in the group babies you

jeongin is always the first to go and greet you tho

spooks you tho

goes behind your back and yells ‘boo!’ in your ear

he gets punched by you after that

you just tackle him and squeeze him

but he goes ‘oh youve grown so big now!’

he’s also been getting stronger so when he goes into his normal hug where he puts his amrs around and under your armpits, you get squeezed until youre out of breath

on that note

he takes you to the gym bc you’ve been wanting to work out since starting college

he wanted to b your gym buddy (also was scared of u dying bc of asking binnie)

pushes you enough to finish bc he knows ur limits <3

you go to a convinience store after your workouts

both of yall try to pay BUT you make a schedule for who pays

you switch off

innie is extremely proud he made that idea

share a gym playlist

and most of your playlist

bc ur music taste is so similar you end up collabing playlists

you both do daily fit checks

slowly you’ve been able to coax him out of terrible shoe choices

you’ll show him something new and he’ll be like

‘oh is this what all the youngsters are wearing now?’

he busts out these rubber shoes that give you a headache

‘im doing it for stay’ you know stay’s reaction bc u r one

you always show what stays are saying on pinterest and call them simps

but you also cant talk bc, and jeongin quotes this

‘damnn hyunjin looking fine enough to be mine’

but also jeongin constantly uses pick up lines on YOUR friends

if he ever picks you up he’ll turn to someone your hanging out with

‘are you the sun because youre so hot you burn my retinas’

and everyone is just. majorly confused

its his random space obsession showing okay

you went on a planetarium date one time

he talked your ear off and then you bit his ear

retaliation for all the times he’s bit you when he was a wee little one

after that you went shopping

a stay photographed yall starting dating rumors

but its okay bc jeongin addressed it in his lives

telling everyone youre siblings

there is a ten minute video of him cracking up, tears flowing bc of the situation

@chans-muffin i delivered!!!!

[afteraftercare]

okay my full in depth hit me hard and soft opinion༉‧₊˚.

this is billies best fucking album. the lyrics, the beats, the emotion, the story it tells, everything about it.

i will say, happier than ever rlly let me down. it wasnt a WOW factor album like i thought it was gonna be. and with hit me hard and soft i didnt really expect good or bad, i was in the middle. so i didnt get my hopes up and had my expectations a tad bit low (even tho im obsessed w her)

i did the same thing with found heaven and by having my standards low the albums really fucking blew my mind.

hmhas is def a situationship/love album for SUREEEEE. whoever the girl billie was writing about girl u are one lucky fucking duck but also whyd u do my girl lowk dirty..

i also LOVE LOVE LOVE the switch up in songs like one minute im crying and the next im shaking ass and the next i feel all oogly boogly spooky.

my official FIRST ranking is:

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

THE GREATEST

L'AMOUR DE MA VIE

THE DINER

SKINNY

BITTERSUITE

WILDFLOWER

CHIHIRO

BLUE

LUNCH

even tho i have a ranking there isnt one fucking song on this album that i dont like. every. single. song. is fucking amazing.

i also love that i relate to the album so unbelievably much. billie really got into a situation ship at the right fucking time cs i needed an album like this. like i feel so sosoosososoos bad to the ppl who got tickets next to me at the hmhas tour cs.... woof.

anyways enough yapping thats it :3

[crguang]

violinist au kafka hit the second tower. but actually she's so annoying😭 she needs to shut up atp. but this actually driving me crazy. like the monday after the friday bus ride...her driving by that store a couple times a week just to see r in the window, she's awful. love serval just lying to r so they'd see each other again, loved that, but she didn't know how much kafka sucks. also blade driving, is he actively suicidal in this au still? honestly i feel like blade would be a bad driver, but on purpose, and kafka doesn't seem like the type to drive if there's someone else to do it. her annoying r on purpose and comparing them to when they were both teenagers was great, esp with the contrast after she makes her cry. also her smiling perpetually as part of her mask is also very interesting to me, but i did love this part bc kafka would def come off as a rich asshole if she wasn't a criminal already. and her just like staring in disbelief when she made r cry like it's literally not her fault. she's so good at hiding her emotions too, ugh. and her giving her card too, is she even real. (she is unfortunately not.) the angst is killing me, but in the good way, (how many rereads is between me and my history). this au is amazing.

btw forgot to mention ur so right, folklore is the album for this au. personally seven was never one of my faves, but it fits so well with this au, yea. would have more thoughts but I'm about to fall asleep.

very glad I have this week off uni tho, (thanksgiving) very not looking forward to seeing my relatives and I'm applying to a writing program, but instead I'm yapping about kafka, so really great productivity coming from me. I also got an arcane s2 spoiler abt one of the favs as soon as I opened tumblr, I literally blocked all the arcane tags, fml hate being on the internet sometimes. I have to wait to watch it bc my friend is driving 3 hours for a visit and we're watching it together.

-🌠

HEHEHEHEHEHE I LOVE UR COMMENTSSS kafka’s so obvious but especially to blade since hes the one driving her around lmfao. hes still suicidal otherwise a big part of his character would be missing i feel like, kafka’s just the bravest😭😭😭 he’d never crash the car with her in it… maybe. i think hes a good driver he just has to fight demons every day. k def can come off as a snob sometimes but thats because of the way she dresses and her confidence + her picky tastes 😭 if i saw her in the streets i personally would just think thats a sexy rich lady but maybe im biased. i’d say she looks nice tho bc of her constant smile. she came in that store with a mission and got bamboozled by the consequences of her actions like shes too funny fr. making r cry then giving them her business card shes actually crazy hdhfnfmf there is so much lore to this au im only writing the parts that make me go insane but like the whole thing is just so great, i havent had a story obsess me like this in a while and the best part is that im making it up so i can add whatever i want 😋 even started a pinterest board first them… like we’re really deep in this

hope thanksgiving isnt too tedious but at least youre free of uni for a week and u can sleep as much as u like !! i havent watched arcane yet either, i might do it when i get home but im also pretty tired so we’ll see. hope u and ur friend have fun tho

[quinnhills]

Good to know you're feeling welcome! :D this is our little place in the internet, and we've decided to make it trans and gay as hell (n i gotta say, i did think "they-them gang! :o" when i found out you started using they/them too a while ago X3 ) n if you received this ask more than once, my tumblr bugged out before i could finish, sorry (。_。)

anyways, and sorry if this is long, but Woe- More Tumblr Things Be Upon Ye:

there used to not be an image limit before, causing a few- interesting posts… tho that changed a few years ago and recently, at first the limit being 10 images per post to now 30 images per post (you can also move the images around a bit)

if you plan on staying long term on tumblr and use desktop the most, i recommend getting the browser extensions Xkit &/or New Xkit cuz… yeah, tumblr is pretty nice, but it sometimes gets hard to use. it also adds extra useful things to the tumblr experience, which is nice to have. i'd say tumblr is like living in a cheap apartment in a calm area of the city. the place's great for what it is, just gotta be sure to leave rat traps near holes and dont worry about the Beast down the hall,

speaking of rats, we got an infestation. you may or may not have heard of it with the voter fraudage going with the polls a bit ago; since tumblr has little to No email verification, people outside tumblr buy bots to get in here and start posting malicious links. tho the bots are surprisingly easy to identify (often times blank blogs with very weird descriptions + stolen picture of lady or ai generated. you'll know it when you see it), and the protocol here is block and report spam so staff can deal with it

and btw if you want to keep a post for as long as your blog stands, i recommend rebloggin! thanks to how tumblr is build as, even if the original post or that blog is gone, the reblog will stay with you (+ tags on reblogs dont really make a post expand outside of your own blog, so many use this to create Very intricate personal tag systems to make easier finding posts, bc once a blog gets 1k+ post in it, it gets hard finding anything on it... <- knows this from experience u.u)

oh and last thing before i go again (and something i found out recently), another browser extension ive been loving: Stylus! with it you can customize a ton of sites to your liking And with a specific style found in the archive of this extension, you can change how the dashboard looks! even changing the background to any image you might want :D

so yeah, thats it, for now. i got more info if you want it, just lmk 👉👈

and you probably already noticed this, but there isnt really any word limit for posts or asks around these lands. tho on tags, the character limit on a single tag is 139. but you can put a Lot of tags, so there! be free mx quinn, no character limit holds you down no more ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

Thank you so much for the knowledge!

Some Quinn Facts:

Mx., Ms. and Miss are all acceptable :)

I use “gay as hell” as a sort of tongue-in-cheek shorthand, but I also identify as trans as hell, queer as hell, non-binary as hell, lesbian as hell, and anxious/depressive as hell

I’m a vegetarian

My favorite food is pineapple pizza (controversial, I know)

For a few years in the early 2000s, I was a licensed auctioneer

The most times I’ve ever cried during a movie is 5 times during Happiest Season

I like the idea of books, but I’m bad at reading them

Overalls give me gender euphoria, and I don’t know why

I hope to release a solo album within the next year

I hope to direct a feature-length film by the time I’m 40

Coming out was the best thing I ever did

[cypresssunns]

god all this taylor vs lestat nonsense reminds me of the time me and a perfect stranger struck up a pretty casual convo in line for coffee&cocoa about the music playing on the speakers (it was bad and dated as far back as like 2008, like full on blasting black eyed peas) and i mentioned i was listening to the Jungle album a lot then and they said they were into taylor swift mostly. and then they pressed to ask if i liked taylor, which i was honest and said "she isnt for me" and then this woman takes that as an affront in ways i still cannot comprehend. she starts dropping lore about her taylor swift stanning that goes back as far as her using taylor to cope through her miscarriage and a friend's suicide and basically taylor swift saved her life & i just stood there blinking for the longest 30 seconds of my life and all i remember saying is "thats cool, shes still not my vibe tho" and i walked out of there with my cocoa somehow feeling like a huge asshole. and i realize now whatever defensive coping strategy this woman was employing had nothing to do with me but real life trauma dumping on random stranger to defend your fave is like, the newest and weirdest of lows

[yourbigendergremlet]

Here is a bunch of rambles ive vollected over a few months instead of posting them in seperate posts

Feeling dysphoric about my face not being masculine, putting my hair down because it makes me feel masculine, i hate hair in my face, all my headbands to hold my hair back have bows on it, rip off the bows, wear is like a sweatband

Manly ✨

Even if i was ever gonna come out to my family as bigender, they wouldn't just say it is terrible, they would just tell me that im making no sense because i am still female, a part of me is still that, but they just wouldn't get that a part of me is also male, they would just say it was a tomboy. If they continue to misgender me, they aren't exactly wrong because i am still female so calling me she/her is still not wrong so i cant get that angry about it

Feeling dysphoria? I just made a new album in my gallery and copied any images that made me feel like a guy into there and named it "i am a big strong beautiful manly man"

Felt like a guy today but went to church and was gonna sit in the mens side but then felt extremely uncomfortable so i went to the women's side but i also felt uncomfortable with myself there and aaaagh

Me making braclets with my pride flags but my family dont know that thy are pride flags because they dont know the bigender and genderfluid flags 😎

Complaining to my little brother about our mum not letting me buy men's clothes and freely shopping in the men's section with him because he has not yet been tainted by our parents and older sister's views and feeling amazing even though he still knows nothing about lgbt stuffs

Me thinking of a plan to ask my little brother what his views on the lgtvs are but descreetly so that if he doesnt like it he wont tell mother 0.0

Conversation switches to "lgbt people bad", me goes completely silent 0.0 me: "haha yeah thats weird..." when talked directly to desperately trying to switch topic while not outing myself

My sister wants to try new nail polish but already has some on so asks my little brother to do it on him, parents being like "nooo he's a boyyyy" and my sister being like "yeah guys wear nail polish now tho but he still isnt gonna be able to be a girl" and me being there like "yeah, he can put on nail polish" and internally screaming that guys can be girls if they are aaaa

Hahaha internalised transphobia :D for a while there

Me: am i actually genderfluid or am i actually bigender? Am i faking it? Am i pretending to relate to genderfluid and ftm trans people? Am i only just female and male or am i non binary also a bit??? Am i duel weilding my genders or am i fluctuating between them right now i have no clue??????? Is that why im feeling like thisssss???

Me going out somewhere, analysing how guys walk and act differently to girls and taking mental notes

Walking two steps like how people say guys walk and feeling absolutely on top of the world before going back to normal

Hoping im being subtle in trying to lower my voice so my family dont question it (and horribly failing at being subtle why is lowering your voice a bit so hard??)

Tumblr recomending me a suspicious amount of transgender posts before i had started properly questioning my gender or even thought about it

If i was a AMAB, being bigender would be so much easier becuase it's easier to just wear a skirt or dress and look distinctly feminine and then wear other stuff and look distinctly masculine but as a AFAB when you wear male clothes you still look female but who just bought something from the male section instead of looking like a guy

My mum speaking arabic and using the masculine versions of words for me as a joke but me internally pretending that she is using my correct pronouns 🥲

Me considering getting the school trousers so i can wear that sometimes instead of my skirt but also its my last year and no point spending money on uncomfortable trousers ill never wear again if its only for one year

So in church, women wear something called an isharba which is a headscarf meant to cover your hair to be modest.

Ive noticed that on days where im feeling like a girl, i can wear the isharba theoughout the mass but on days where im feeling like a guy i feel very uncomfortable wearing it and dont usually wear it in the mass. On some days i can wear it on and off throughout as well. It's intresting how my gender also effects something like wearing a head scarf, but i guess it can also be kinda like skirts in that sense? It was also a very subconcious feeling and even when i wasnt aware of what gender i was that day i would sometimes feel uncomfortable

Some days i feel more comfortable with the label bigender, and sometime im more comfortable with the label genderfluid and it's weird

Today im feeling more masculine, but also not fully so im more between he/they. But also there is a small twinge of feminine but only a small amount.

So i dont really feel like he/him, but i dont like they/them for myself, but then also im not he/she because there isnt a lot of she in me but im not he/him because i dont feel fully like a guy.

Im not none of them because i am all of them but to varying degrees to the extent where im not comfortable with any of the pronouns no matter how they are balanced. Idk? Are people just not meant to refer to me when i feel like this????

A very specific feeling i want to experience is wearing a dress while looking like a boy, i really want to have the feeling of being a cis boy wearing a dress so much

I didn't realise how important having facial and body hair was to me until my mum and sister kept saying that i should shave it. I really really love my body and facial hair and i really want even a small beard but my mum and sister made me shave my tiny moustache hairs and unibrow for christmas and tried to get me to shave my leg and arm hair and i feel super dysphoric without it being there anymore

That moment of delusion where i pretend to myself that the soft fabricy present my sister got for me was a binder and fantasise about it but its just a jumper in reality

My sister was talking about starfield and how stupid it was that you could put pronouns "why not just have it male and female lol" and i tried to laugh along but really just could not make it sound energetic and i felt kinda sick

Ive recently had the epithany that as a bigenderfluid person i am still allowed to be a femboy or a tomboy and that being feminine doesnt necessarily make me a girl that day and i am still a guy and-

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

real! I used to love her (ts) but she feels very different than she used to. I’ve listened to phoebe bridgers a bit, she was good just not the type of music I usually listen to. Boy genius and Lucy Dacus are both amazing tho. They for sure deserved to win Aoty, or sia

sorry for how long this got??? i just started writing and oh whoops....

anyway- THATS what ive been saying about her unfortunately. its like after folklore/evermore things genuinely changed because of all the fame and popularity. people werent criticizing her anymore and instead overly praising her.

which isnt bad! i do think she deserves praise over folklore. the marketing of it being a suprise album was very clever too. but i think before those folklore there was a sense of criticism that people had with her music that kept her wanting to innovate it.

i have a strong believe that social media's algorithms are failing artists to innovate pop music in the same way than 00's pop music did just because of how much less artists have to lose now with their brandings. i once again bring up artpop by lady gaga and how much she lost for her idea???? and now??? gaga was really fucking killing it. her music had such creativity and passion put into it that you can SEE her drive in that. (also to know i didnt understand artpop as an album until MUCH later in my life)

but taylors lack of needing to innovate her sound due to her popularity and lack of criticism really has just shown how much her music has come to decline in quality. if you see the transition between fearless and speak now. those two albums. she TOOK the criticism that she "couldnt write her own songs" and literally flipped that narrative to write that entire album herself. and to me? arguably speak now is MY favorite taylor album.

and the transition between speak now to red to 1989 to reputation. theres SO much that happened in that sense of time. theres different sounds that make those albums what they are. 1989 was such a creative endeavor for her because it was her first step into pop music. i think was also her first time working with jack? now people say her decline on music is his fault as a producer but i dont believe his role had gotten bad until midnights. (i saw people discussing clairo's sling album because he produced it. but THEYRE WRONG. SLING IS GOOD AND HIS ERA OF BAD PRODUCING HAPPENED IN 2023(?) i forget when midnights came out ugh thats how many taylor albums we have gotten ffs)

but the breakaway and challenge 1989 gave really set up for reputation. she disappeared because of all the hate. and i think while I DONT SUPPORT that type of treatment because no one should go through that type of mental low... that really set her into a space to create more fluidly and with more passion?

lover- people will say was a flop.. and ill admit too... cruel summer?? shouldve never ever became a single. it was better as a hidden gem. but lover was good for the majority of songs!! there's still passion in it.

it was just that after folklore/evermore it felt very.... underwhelming and not like her at all. the quality slipped so so off the page. it just feels very recycled and unnecessary. especially like i said the fandom doesnt help with overconsumtion and she really truly should use her platform for more. the economy being in shambles and yet she wants to charge $700 for a concert ticket. (nothing bad if like someone WANTS to go but its genuinely ridiculous because inflation shouldnt BE like that).

not to even cover merch??? why is it so high?? shouldnt you want it to be accessible to your fans since you have so many?? vinyl prices are ridiculous but WHY is a hoodie almost $100. im sorry but like why 😭. cant we just charge $60 again?????

anyway all that to say that after the evermore era her music genuinely slipped off. im just thankful that the speak now rerecord didnt get BOTCHED as high hell. i have opinions about the vault tracks because the entire reason was to include tracks from that era and yet its like your smearing shit onto a perfectly wonderful painting and saying "look yall!! i added to this!!" wrong. wrong wrong wrong. idk. 1989's vault tracks just made me mad. it felt so unlike the vibe of what 1989 was???? and slut was NOT written at the time of 1989. come on.

timeless though off of the rerecord for speak now.... i will defend that one with my honor. i genuinely am glad speak now's vault tracks didnt get horrible treatment. i like that she kept the solo writing with the entire album. adding on fob and hayley's collabs as a callback because i really remember seeing videos of her singing sugar were going down and thats what you get during the speak now tour. it just felt like a full circle moment for that. fob's collab couldve been better but im glad it wasnt like... bad.

stilllll think matty's collab couldve been iconic on slut. even if i hate 1989's vault tracks as a whole... the 1975 does have good music. I KNOW. controversial yeah. anyway. hes got talent tho.

i found phoebe during 2020 when i was listening to a bunchhh of different artists (the 1975 too yeah). but punisher found me and i used to not be able to sleep due to anxiety/insomnia back then and i would listen to that album for months to just SLEEP.

i have a closeee bond with it. its like my favorite if not a close second of my favorite album of all time. its just really interesting?? also really valid that its not your type of music either. i just hold her stuff close. also did a english assignment on smoke signals' lyrics. i remember that. i got to say "fuck the cops" in the assignment and felt very proud of myself LMAO.

in terms of lucy- i for some reason never have gotten around to listening to her stuff?? even though i know i need to and should?? i just always somehow forget. many people have told me to but oh man i forget.

glad we can agree that they deserved album of the year btw.

sorry for the LENGTHY reply but yeah!! i might be forgetting to talk about something but askinf about my special interests (music) will always give you a lengthy answer.

[hearts4scottney]

OLIVIA RODRIGOS NEW ALBUM IS SO GOOD SO IM GONNA RATE THE SONGS

[spoilers below!!!]

ALL-AMERICAN BITCH :: 7/10 — this song is so real bc i, too, am pretty when i cry.. but all jokes aside this song almost made me cry on the bus like it was so pretty to just listen to

BAD IDEA, RIGHT? :: 9/10 — i love love love upbeat songs.. plus ex related drama >_> so! perfect combo!! HSHRG HER VOCALS R SO GOOD

VAMPIRE :: 10/10 — i know this song is overrated and whatever but like.. its overrated bc its SOO good.

LACY :: 6/10 — i dont really like slow songs, but it gets bonus points bc 1. olivias vocals, and 2. it made my eyes water </3

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOL GIRL :: 100/10 — MY FAVORITE ON THE ALBUM ITS SO SO SO GOOD?!?! LIKE OMG .. plus its so real bc my mom keeps THREATNEING TO HOMESCHOOL ME but like yeah i <3 this one

MAKING THE BED :: 5/10 — this one was kind of forgettable but i do like her voice in it, plus the lyrics were creative and idk she just cant miss fr

LOGICAL :: 8/10 — okay yeah this one might be slow but it also SLAPS SO HARD??

GET HIM BACK! :: 10/10 — i love it so much i am froathing at the mouth .. idk why but it lowkey reminds me of alenoah ? maybe im just delusional tho

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING :: 10/10 — this ones really good too im ngl .. like absolute HEART EYES!!! plus its relatable .. I LOVE THE WAY HER VOICE SOUNDS IN THIS SONG SOO MUCH

THE GRUDGE :: 8/10 — this one was rlly pretty to listen to and also just.. so good<333

PRETTY ISNT PRETTY :: 9/10 — i love the songs meaning, vocals, lyrics, and just everything grr only reason it isnt 10/10 is bc it MADE ME CRY AND I DONT LIKE THAT!!!

TEENAGE DREAM :: 10/10 — the meaning is beautiful i love this one so much i will eat it alive and it would probably taste like grape nerds

[demonstars]

this is literally so serious to me Please all criticisms to my inbox ok FALL OUT BOY ALBUMS RANKING

infinity on high cause she's THAT GIRL. i didnt even know ENGLISH when i listened to this album for the first time and still i got hooked and every bit of lore i learn makes me want to kill myslef in the best way. this is the album my sister calls the gay one because of how many times i've talked about the symbolism and the gay sex. Wishing to be the friction in your jeans, man..

folie I actually only knew i dont care until 2017 and then my life fuckign changed LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN. wams and tiffany blews are part of my top five fob songs ever it that serious. BUT ALSO GOLDEN?? HEADFIRST?? WHAT A CATCH. COFFEE'S FOR CLOSERS. THREE TIMES FOR THE HOLY GHOST! it would be the first if infinity hadn't actually properly changed my brain chemistry

from under the cork tree: something about how the themes of this album talk to infinity makes me seriously want to wed it, it's so delicious?? like do you guys ever read something that's so well done that you just want to kiss it. they call it competency kink i just call it being in love with their work. anyway. beautiful album. nobody pits baby in the corner

mania Like i spent these few minutes talking about it. UNDERRATED!!!!! UNDERRATED!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY GETS HOW FUN AND AWESOME SHE IS BUT I DO!!! HOLD ME TIGHT anthem for high school me. also one of the first ones i could understand without fully googling the lyrics

so much for stardust. I think she single-handedly made me go thru 2023 Sorry for relying on albums to stay up and about. The way they refer to their own previous musical identity has me on a chokehold. also it's so clearly a pandemic album and i find that really interesting, the commitment to refer to their context. WHEN I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE THIS ISNT QUITE WHAT I MEANT I GOT THE QUARANTINE BLUES WHAT'S LEFT? ??? <- written on my wall

take this to your grave is so awesome to me sorry i literally have to put it here its not top 5 but IT IS LOVELY TO MEEEEE i like it so much but its clearly a very experimental one idk

save rock and roll I like the songs individually Idk why it annoys me so much the order they are placed that i cannot in my good conscience put it up. also i havent watched the mv movie entire SORRY I HAVE TROUBLE FOCUSING ON MOVIES ON MY OWN AND I HAVDNT CONVINCED MY SISTER TO WATCH IT WITH ME

ab/ap: i have Heard there's controversy with this album I just have a lot of fun with a lot of songs but there's a lot of skips so last my bad. uma thurman irresistible fourth of july and immortals songs of all time tho. ARGUE WITH THE WALL

evening out with your girlfriend is their first one for a reason

[anosci]

(407-422 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28])

names and thoughts below cut

407/ VA - Mirror Image: A Link to the Past ReMixed (2017) the !!!s: "Once Upon an Adventure" stuck with me most i think. the sound design!! "Excuse Me, Princess" fun take on an underrated theme "Dungeon Shuffle" peak blind banger "The Darkest World" rly cool arrangement here

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408/ Kliptown - Kliptown I (2023) short but sweet little romp. futuregaragey? beats. "Stay" does a silly vocal thing that i kind of love "Sunday Groove" second fav

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409/ Rabit - Les Fleurs Du Mal (2017) abstract. feels like a story. doesn't mesh with me particularly well… :\

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410/ Emptyset - Skin (2017) maximum pedal tone!!! this slaps actually. all 4 tracks lol

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411/ VA - All Nighter Vol. 8 (2023) various! so: "chucho" feels good banger :) feels like a modern take on what joesph nothing was doing 20 years ago. love the cuteness within "TELEWORK". "Hueshift." slappy. "CLEAN JOBS" god damn. dirty and clean at the same time! massiv.

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412/ Ghetto Lee Lewis - Heretic Sinphony (2017) imo this is one damn good track with several bonus tracks attached. "Embrace the Darkness" hell yeah im embracing it

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413/ YoshiBlade - Candy Corn II: The Sequeling (2017) back to bang backers. i am not much a fan of the narration, even though it's not bad. however: Cave Mushrooms!!! "Be Kind, Rewind" is a good take on a classic too

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414/ VA - SOUND WAVES: A Tribute to Ecco the Dolphin (2016) mixed bag. way more guitar than i was anticipating, which isnt rly my thing. tho the postrock chill-ish stuff is good ("Scrolling Madness" f.ex) the live(?) jams are more my pace, ie "Aquamarine Bagel". & the lush stuff!

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415/ Abdicant - Nothing we do will persist (2023) smtimes skeptical of "ambient" music as it can either be boring or soul-enveloping. luckily this has some bangers: "Premonition" hits right "The final self portrait" dark cold night.<3 "Proton Decay" beautiful use of pulse waves!

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416/ VA - Detroit XI (2017) mixed bag etc! "Motor City Motorcade" unlocked some strange nostalgic feeling in me. "Aeroplanefunk" is my overall fav i think. surprised how low this ranked compared to some other personal hilights on my list!

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417/ Anonymous Various Artists - Covert 4 (2023) very mixed bag, but from a damn good collective. two specifics: "Ronck67" has this sleazy soundscape draped over the outline of hip hop. delicious. "Damaged Cells" has such a specific timbre that i dig. simple maybe, but precise.

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418/ VA - Summer Chip VII (2017) mixed bag etc etc I'd like to first highlight "sleep paralysis" for being insanely cool. i love love that hazy composition! after that: "movement phase" holy shit "Coda-Cola Zone" holy shitttttttttt (bangerest!)

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419/ Mia Koden - Decode (2023) dusty old nighttime musics. weirdly nostalgic??? i hate to say retro toonami but…. retro toonami. vibes. "10easy" especially

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420/ VA - Secret of Mana: Resonance of the Pure Land (2017) mixed bag etc etc there's a good variety in here tbh however, i must say: "Kaleidoscope"? microtones in my ocrs? this rules. other hilits are "No Cab, Fan Pride: Boku No Infinite Thotty Gaiden" (fun!!!) and "Steel and Wubz" (fub woby!!) last album of the year! onward to the next <3