#this ain't even gonna be the last one i make mark my words

[freshydip]

moodboard: stanley pines slowly wasting away in his shack year after year after year after year after

sources: Jandy Nelson, I'll Give You the Sun / soapstone / California wildfires, sunset & sunrise by Gary Robertson/ Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides / Hand Candles, Paul Benney / criatvra / Speeches for Dr Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood / lionfloss / maria ermolenko / andreea dumata / Speeches for Dr Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood / maria ermolenko

[yutasbimil]

Prod

gryffindor!beomgyu x fem!hufflepuff!reader ft. slytherin!jaemin | txt ft. nct dream ff. ✦ (7/8) [series fic] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, pre-smut (?) cw: friendship/love, bestie-lovers energy, frenemies vibe, friends to lovers, lots of bantering, tutoring, teasing, crushes, confessions, jealousy, tension, slow burn, unrequited love, love triangle, hurt-comfort, eventual smut lol, break up, eventual happy ending, FLUFF!!! ! not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, but hope 3rd POV is good for y'all ♡ word count: 3.1k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 8

do not repost © yutasbimil (2024)

They’ve already talked this out beforehand. Beomgyu already talked about this with the dudes before for some advice and insight. 

As much as they fight upfront, Yeonjun is one who assures Beomgyu that it’s okay. As anxious as fuck he is dealing with this, he told him like no need to overthink it; that they know him as a person, and that Yumi and him are friends. Just need to settle out especially the drift apart moment between them. He’s also assured previously that even with his absence in the friend group last time, she’s affected and values him regardless.

But why does he still end up with clammy palms? This isn’t anything new spending time with Yumi, even facing her like this.

This is more nerve-wracking than expected.

“What's so different studying with that Jaemin guy, hmmm?” Beomgyu gnawed more than he should’ve with the sudden drop of questions. But again, he was curious. Especially how much Yumi was lured and insistent in hanging out with the dude to the point of dating him…

“The sexual tension?”

Beomgyu blinks at her directness.

“Psh… H-how—and how are you sure we don't have that? I mean the tension.” He blurts in attempts to one-up this “competition” at the top of his head? He’s confused as well. Argh— Beomgyu fidgeted in place, even tripping to miss hitting the book ends with his fist. Damn, that one word triggered him.

“Just laid out my best card first hand…” Yumi states, laying out her fingers and then polishing her nails, she then blinks to process what she had heard. “Wait… what do you mean by— so you’re saying there is a tension between us?”

The loading process is slower on both their systems than usual today. Beomgyu didn’t answer immediately as he looked at her, ridiculed. You were the one who already jumped at that answer? Gurl… As to why he stole her input in the “tension” part; solely that part only(!). 

“I'm not the only one feeling it.” He said as if to shrug it off. “It’s tension one way or another.”

He didn’t need to add a question mark on the end for that one.

Both their quietness was clear as water.

The water welling up in Yumi’s eyes that is. “Well, fuck, I don't want to talk about this Beomgyu.”

“Neither do I, but I know that we know this will get in our way of studying.”

Urghhhh, she hates how he's right. That leaves them no choice.  Fine— she struts, taking the lead. “Let's go somewhere private.”

“Is this where he's been taking you?” he pondered, he pocketed his hands like his thoughts to prevent them from wandering further.

“Shhh, shut your trap.” she dusted him off like the vacant seat in the back row. “Don't make it awkward, Beomgyu.”

“I'm just gonna tell you, this place ain't special. Every other house likes to occupy abandoned classrooms. One way or another…” He says in a ‘just putting it out there’ way to knock some sense into her brain. 

He puts his arms by the nape of his neck as they approach their seats.

“That's… actually an assuring thing to hear, thanks.”

Yumi breathes in but the musty atmosphere isn't lessening her nervousness, why is she even nervous? So suddenly—

“Okay, no more beating around the bush. I just feel guilty, that's all. I feel that I have swept it under the rug. On how I see it, I wasn't being a good friend to any of you guys when I got sucked into a relationship.”

Well, for Yumi’s defense, it’s even a new territory for Beomgyu as he never encountered Yumi going through a breakup. It always had been just crushes, and not so deep into the relationship realm for them.

So somehow he understands…

It’s his turn to sigh.

“I admire your awareness, but… why are you only giving your apology to me?” Beomgyu perks an eyebrow.

“You were the closest to me.”

“But I didn't need one…”

Yumi puts up her hand as if to cool him off. She then quickly shrugs as even she is confused in her own actions. “Again, I just felt like it.”

Beomgyu crosses his arms. “That's a bit off-putting that I made my best friend feel that way for pursuing her happiness.”

She lets out another aggravated sigh, averting her eyes along a pained biting of her lower lip. “I just… Didn't know how much it can get in the way of our friendship.”

“And you didn't like that?”

“Of course, Gyu.”

Beomgyu then nods, a way of acknowledging her. His arms remained cross but now, looking a bit more upright. “But were you happy with Jaemin?”

“Yeah, it was fun while it lasted.”

Beomgyu’s lips curled up, and he relaxed his shoulders in his seat, gesturing to her. “Then that's all that I wanted to hear.” 

Some kind of relief weighed off the air at that.

The topic subsides, and Yumi is left to look at her feet. Any other weight was released but… Her sense of avoidance of the guy still not choosing to turn away from her system. 

“Now what?”

Beomgyu purses his lips, eyes piercing through hers. “Well, anything else you want to open up while we’re at it?”

She swallowed, but her voice persisted through the dryness of her throat. 

“Why did you get distant,” she asked. “Was it really because of me being in a relationship?”

Now it’s his turn to freeze on the spot. Why the sudden cold feet?

Telling the truth or not— will be landing him in a pile of questions. Like a butterfly effect dispersing around them…

What a trap she unconsciously laid out…

Damn it, Yumi.

“As I said, I just felt like getting myself together but, it's not just you…” Beomgyu tries to lay out the appropriate words to say, but he’s shaken regardless. He tries to look into Yumi’s eyes to search for any sense that may be the same as what he’s thinking at this moment. “I felt that your relationship got in the way of our friendship as well. I know it's normal since we're opposite genders. But of course, it still stung. Just something inside me got shaken up that I was a coward.”

“A coward?”

Oh shit, that slipped. 

He should've stopped a few words back and it could've been a whole truth, still.

Fuck it— 

“That I can't stand seeing you with another dude,” Beomgyu said.

“Is that how it feels when I'm with Yeonjun or Taeh—”

“You know what I mean, Yumi,” he solemnly says, it made it harder for Yumi to look at his eyes. “But defending myself still even though you know me… I didn't stay being your friend to get to my real intention.”

Yumi’s eyes start wavering at him, the gradual realization still about to her, but not quite crashing on her yet. She remains intently listening.

He glides his hands on the armchair beside him to lessen the piercing gaze at him. 

“It was just one random fine day back then, it felt like a punch in the gut that I'm not the closest guy to your heart, and I wanted to beat myself up for thinking that because you only deserve the best.” His voice is starting to rasp but he has to maintain his ground. “I'm your best friend but I don't think I'm your best choice as I can't even overcome the first step… but it's also because I have to lose being your best friend if I want to be your boyfriend.”

Too soon.

The change of that single word made Yumi’s heart flutter, along with the butterflies she didn’t know were there… Was that the nervousness all this time?

Yumi’s palm unconsciously caressed the center of her chest, along with the steady heartbeat echoing in her ears.

She tried to swallow it all back, shoving every worry down the depths of her subconscious.

“You don't have to risk that, Beomgyu… You can still be my best friend but… gosh, can you let me think about this?” She can’t help but trample over her words, she released her voice too soon without properly laying out her game plan choice of words. 

Yumi didn’t expect herself to be this shaken. What the hell?

“No sweat but… I am incredibly sorry, I think it's such bad timing that I'm confessing.” A panicked chuckle escaped his lips, his palm meeting the cold sweat-filled sideburn of his. He breathes out of exasperation. “I don't ever want to be that asshole that comes along your way when you're clearly still heartbroken. I know I can be an ass with all that teasing and getting on your nerves but—”

“I know you, Beomgyu,” she cuts him off, quickly whilst breathing slowly as if to instruct him to mirror her. “So no need to get that so worked up.”

It was also a way to prevent her anxiety from taking over. Some part of her is scared to make the same mistakes she did with Jaemin, like jumping in too soon the moment some opportunity presents itself. And Beomgyu doesn’t deserve to get trampled along her recklessness. 

Yes, she thought that through before getting into a relationship with him. But she felt that she should’ve done more than just be carried away with mere chemistry.

But it's different with Beomgyu.

Yumi knows it but… why does it still feel like butterflies are raging in her caged chest?

She'll be honest then. This is Choi Beomgyu we’re talking about. The sincerity in his eyes stayed the same as his intent look on hers that didn’t leave her for a hot minute.

Her hands trail along his chest, she’s a bit agitated to even let a slight sliver of pump be heard by her. As she’s scared if it is as loud as hers right now. 

Her fingers found the fabric of his crimson and gold tie, it’s almost always crooked, reflecting how rowdy this lion could get. Yet he always seems to look strong and so welcoming. 

I guess some things remain the same as they did when they were in their first years together.

Some things remain and linger, it’s the same person still.

We’re both just growing up together. 

No wonder I’m afraid for it all to fade to dust in just a snap…

“I don't know when or how but…” she rasps, her eyes wavered with water for a moment. “Maybe I was just putting off the thoughts and chances to be with you because what we have is already too precious for me to lose.”

“You won't lose me even as your lover, Yumi,” Beomgyu responds. “Think of it like an upgrade from all the bantering we have, our bond remains the same….”

“What if I don't want it to be?”

Beomgyu slowly nods, blinking slowly to acknowledge her. “It's bound to change but it's still ‘Yumi and Beomgyu’ in it, right?”

She can’t help but chuckle at that, shaking her head in relief. A coy smile slightly agape is evident in her. “You really are good at convincing, Choi Beomgyu.”

“No rush, I've waited for so long,” he chimes. “What's a few more times, right?”

Her mouth agape wider upon hearing that. “Since when…”

“Let's not mind the many chances slipped away of me being an idiot,” said Beomgyu, fast in brushing off any attempts to push the topic. At least not now.

“So it all goes back to you being an idiot huh….”

“Yumi…”

It's as if the way he said her name on his distracting lips sent alarm bells in her system. She advanced forward, leaning closer into his space.

To where the trajectory of her thoughts is aiming, she just wants to get closer to her goal either way. Yumi shuts both her eyes along her thoughts of the ever-pestering butterflies in her system.

Fuck it.

Yumi kisses him, square in the lips to prevent him from spurring further nonsense. This goes along with him no longer reverting to talk about his idiotic failed attempts, right?

Seeing his eyes flutter close and ease at her impromptu plan, he seems to agree along her way. His walls are cascading down as seconds pass.

His hand landed on the sides of her face, the other supporting the nape of her neck, while her other hand supported herself by the surface of the armchair nearby.

Feeling herself melt and her legs turning jelly, she swiftly grabbed on his coat to balance herself right up. Her whole body felt like it was suspending and levitating gradually on the warm sensation. It’s so quick to get lost into cloud nine on how sweet and tender every kiss gets with Beomgyu.

Even on how pent-up he was all these years, fuck… is this how gentle he treats me?

It’s the polar opposite of how his mouth can run kilometers worth of insults and gosh, the tantamount teasing, but he tastes sweet as candy once kissed.

Ah, she’s painted crimson red at the idea of being held gently like this by Beomgyu.

Why didn’t she dive headfirst sooner into his arms like this?

Like crashing into deep waters, Beomgyu’s current and effect on her body easily sweep her off her feet on how he touches her skin.

Beomgyu flopped her up on the seat as he continued to plant kisses on her face.

He looks at her momentarily, eyes soft and hazy all the same as if he lets his pupils do the talking, asking her for permission if he can touch her and explore her where his glances may land.

“Here?” she clarifies, almost breathless as their lips parted. Is this where he meant? Yumi guides his arms by her chest, her heart is thumping so loud it’s deafening in both her ears.

“I meant here…” He whispered, lowering his hands to her delicate waist. Yumi felt his fingers tapping patiently on her clothed hips. She buried her face momentarily in his equally loud chest.

His ears quickly stained red at how Yumi went there too soon.

“You have all of me.” Her voice was slightly muffled, but she quickly tilted her head upwards, and her kiss landed by his chin.

“Let’s take it slow.” He firmly holds both her shoulders, caressing it gently as if to calm her down. “We just confessed to each other, hmmm?”

“Right… sorry, I’m still new to this.” Her eyes shy away from his, actions evident of her impatience and persistence. 

She managed to just return her hands on his chest, to his necktie that she’s eagerly anticipated to remove since earlier. 

But she must restrain herself, for now.

“At least I’m not new to you…” he beams, his warm hands finally landing by her fingers, squeezing her hands endearingly. He placed a chaste kiss on the back of her hand. “Just… a new label of the relationship between us. But we’re still best friends, okay? Another status just added.”

“Thanks for reminding me that, it’s an easy to bypass thing even though that’s obvious.”

She hugged him, burying her face on his stomach. Yumi squishes him further then shakes her head deeper onto his torso. Beomgyu pats her head, kissing the top of her head while he caresses her hair down.

Beomgyu chuckles at her cute gesture. Still on cloud nine on any of this happening right now. 

They still had a lot to talk about, and the thoughts of today’s study session were tossed out the window.

“You guys are awfully quiet,” Yeonjun states the obvious, noticing the two averting their eyes at each other for the past hour or so and just focusing on their plates. Is the meat that good that they're speechless? 

The Slytherin also grabbed a handful by the serving to check for himself. 

But he digressed.

“A bit too quiet.” Yeonjun squinted his eyes at them, feeling the suspicious shift in the atmosphere. His eyes did not leave them for a second that it caused him to spill some of the sauce on the edge of his plate. Bora tsks her tongue on his mess.

Beomgyu just chewed on his food, giving him a brief glance but remained quiet.

“Finally,” Soobin says under his breath, feeling the need to blow off some sarcasm. He hasn't done one for his streak yet for today.

“Like some peace and quiet huh?” Kai added fuel to the fire, he chortles as Soobin smirks his way.

Bora nudges them, quickly putting off the usual, running-their-mouths ambiance.

Strangely without the usual participation of the Top Two Banterers of the group.

The Ravenclaw joins Yeonjun in staring at the two. Bora did notice their odd behavior since they gathered in the Great Hall. But it's unlikely any of their arguments occurred that they turned sour like this. It's been years since they lost it, and took weeks to reconcile like little kids. They're already in their final year for goodness sake. Or is it? Like what the hell is up with these two now?

Yumi was first to finish eating and carries off her plate but Beomgyu beats her to it, cleaning her space.

She just perks her brow at him, no means of verbal interaction left their mouths as they conversed with their eyes. Spoken like two close best friends.

Beomgyu just brushes off her glares.

And the gang is left pondering over their strange quietness.

They gathered by the side of the hallway, parting ways as some had classes to attend to. Yumi still checked on them though.

“We're heading to the library, wanna come?” Yumi asked in the most casual tone of hers, looking nonchalant as she was right beside Beomgyu.

Like you two? Yeonjun asks in his mind. He stares at them momentarily, back and forth in an animated way to get his point across without speaking.

The group exchange looks.

Taehyun lays out his hand declining, landing at Beomgyu’s neatly pleated tie. His eyes landed on Beomgyu's chin, a tinge of pink smeared on his skin. Similar to the shade Yumi was wearing…

Taehyun perks a brow then grins at the two. “Nah, we wouldn't want to get in the way of your date. Go on.”

“Huh?” Yumi's face is in sync with Beomgyu’s upon hearing that. They might've rubbed onto each other too much.

She just shakes her head, looking at the others if they have the same thing in mind and if they're going or not. 

They also implied negative. 

“Suit yourself,” she says, shrugging off while Beomgyu again initiates to take her bag off her shoulder.

The two start at their own pace to walk away from the group.

“Bora-yah,” Taehyun whispers to his fellow Ravenclaw while he gestures to her to follow their gaze at them till the two leave. 

When the coast is clear, he utters. “See? They didn't even deny it.” Taehyun gestures to his chest and necktie. “And… Beomgyu almost always never neats his tie that way… unless…?”

Bora turns to him, mouth agape as she’s putting together the puzzle pieces. “OMG. Are you for real?”

※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※

[k9emote]

And just to add on! I never said my "art" was 100% by me I simply just didn't tell people, hate to say it but ive actually given up on being an artist because of people like you. I've commissioned and gave you money, and your friends money for art yet you still want to complain about me using somthing almost 4 months ago now to help me put food on the table. What you don't seem to understand is ain't nobody gonna tell you their entire life on the internet. You have no idea what a person could be going through yet you still sent your server of over 3000 people after a 15 year old girl who was just trying to enjoy creating something.

To say that I was "suicide baiting" is crazy because when did I EVER mention killing myself.

And one last thing, your sever is a cult. It's also fucking disgusting. A cesspool of brainless children looking for online relationships. You, yourself being included. It's a breeding ground for grooming and such things. You disgust me. The fact I have multiple screenshots of you saying you were "gods favorite lamb" please get a damn life dude. Your mental unwellness actually is a joke. The way you are open about your disgust for fat people is repulsive. You can't blame trauma on everything hope this helps xx

Your words speak for themselves on your character.

I am not disgusted by fat people. My current partner is plus sized. I asked for advice once on our perspective of incredibly unhealthy overweight people, and if feeling sick when seeing them made us a bad person. Our ex was morbidly obese due to her feederism and v0re kink. she bragged about being overweight to us and sexualized it. She wrote fanfics about force feeding us. She fetishized our ED. She roleplayed vore and feederism nightly behind our back with strangers while we were sleeping in vc together. We are working on untainting the mark she left on us, and that process is not for you to discredit or spread rumors about.

I'm not giving you consequences. I am protecting people and safespaces by alerting them of your repeated abusive behavior to keep people safe. The world does not revolve around you. You are receiving NATURAL CONSEQUENCES for being an ABUSIVE LIAR. No matter your age.

Drop the guilt tripping. Tracing over AI you were generating for art trades was not putting money on the table. You "never said the art was 100% yours", are you fucking serious? Your story of being the victim grows every time you speak. You being 15 does not mean you get to do whatever you want and expect nothing but pity. We tried to help. Us and our mods were there for you to vent to even after you admitted to shit talking us in the past. You did this to yourself.

Blacking out your entire profile and sending cryptid goodbyes to my entire staff team, even people you had never spoken to, is suicide baiting. When we blocked you on our main you found our ALT and sent the same short goodbye message. That comes off strongly as implying suicide.

For the love of god I'm not harassing you I'm just not letting you spit on my name using baseless rumors because you're upset you got caught. What the fuck did you think would happen?

I sent NO ONE after you and I am near COMPLETELY confident you have not been harassed. I have said over and over again to not harass you when I put out info on you to ban for members safety. That is NOT harassment. Your victim complex is insane.

Also. My server is not a "cult" and saying that to a survivors face is repulsive. It isn't a word to throw around and you make me sick. Please leave me alone. Stop messaging me. Stop threatening me. Stop lying about me. It will not make people feel bad for you. It will not make you feel better.

[savnofilter]

Makeup Sex HCs

-> dabi/t. todoroki, s. todoroki, e. kirishima & k. bakugo

Dabi | Shouto Todoroki | Eijiro Kirishima | Katsuki Bakugo x [GEN]Reader

CONTENT WARNING(S): sexual content, makeup sex. 🧍🏽‍♀️

COUNT: 1.1K words [1-3 mins each].

READ MORE: masterpost + [students | bakugo | adults masterlists]

A/N: ive been wanting to write this for a hot min and now i finally did sjdjsjdn anyways this will be my last nsfw work for students. pretty anti-climatic but 🤷🏽‍♀️ i will be releasing the rest of my sfw stuff for them somewhere else so stayed tuned for that. 👀 ANYWAYS I AM SAUR READY FOR THE DABI CONTENT IM GONNA BUST 🥰 THANK YOU ANON AND HAPPY YEAR YALL. 🤢🤟🏽🤟🏽🤟🏽

if its serious & Dabi knows hes fucked up, hes gonna force himself to talk about it.

don't think that he’ll be mature 100% but he will communicate with you.

is a little manipulative (don't come at me we know he ain't at therapy) and might divulge to get into your good graces once again.

makeup sex with Dabi entirely depends on how serious he finds the situation.

if it's something super serious (to him) then he will not go for sex and will not want to be touched physically like at all. comfort wise too.

but when it's something where all you two need to do is properly communicate, he's actually more empathetic. you could almost say the makeup sex between you when this happens is more… intimate.

if submissive!Dabi is something you like, here he is!

don't expect him to go full on tho, he’ll just relinquish a bit more of letting you take control as a form of apologizing.

[+] only you have been able to see him in such a position… you better be thrilled.

gets more needy tho? the audacity… if you love brats there here he is.

tries to say stuff to throw you off, shit like if you're teasing him he'll say something along the lines of, “stop playing and come sit on my cock, doll.” or “look at you slobbering all over my dick, you greedy XYZ.”

a little whiney about it too, has no shame whatsoever, though.

if he's the one giving you head, it's very messy and sloppy like he's making out with your nether regions. his goal is to have you c(um)e undone and having you surrender your thoughts to him.

when you two actually get to fucking though, it's really rough and grabby at first. it's as if you two are trying to fight each other whilst also attempting to one up another in pleasure.

very much a lot of rough thrusting, pinning, bite marks, hickies and hand prints galore.

then it soothes out—once all the pent up energy is exerted you two transition into a more, and this is where I talked about earlier, intimate love making.

mumbling apologies, a teary eye if you manage to make eye contact with each other and soft mutterings of how good it feels.

it's like a rollercoaster ride of high and low emotions, the end result being the balance of both.

probably the same kind of style as Dabi.

honestly it wouldn't be surprising if the root of the makeup sex being unresolved things, as in the inner conflicts that you two don't even address.

quiet aggression waiting for its release between you two.

makeup sex would be more like a week or a few days after, where you two are probably having a normal session but then the pent up and forgetting energy comes up and gets released during the deed.

Todoroki grips you way more often and holds you close as if you might disappear in one second.

uses a lot of his hands and probably toys too to let out his pent out anger.

will have you bonded up so he can freely do what he needs to do with having to keep his attention divided by keeping you down and pleasuring you.

a ton of words of affirmation here, both you and him.

that's how it normally is, but he throws in some endearing terms a lot more this time around.

“that feel good, baby?” “who makes you feel good like this?”

his attention is solely focused on you and not so much his.

will probably edge you until the point where you both need to climax as he enjoys seeing you tear up and beg for him.

the makeup sex was probably about jealousy if we're being honest here.

Todoroki is just so emotionally constipated but he doesn't know how else express it.

is definitely working on it though.

probably the most emotional out of them lol.

Kirishima is the type to cry and be a mess, super emotional and empathetic.

isn't doing crazy positions or trying to rough you up, unintentional or not.

very much, “I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry” sort of attitude 😭

feel like when thinking of Kirishima, since he has this hidden, passive aggressive side that it'd transmute into rough handling but no I think he'd let all his barriers down for something like this.

would probably get rougher near the ending tho, like harder thrusts and more bite marks.

he wants to be in your good books again and is doing his best to be that again.

everything is sloppier too, just pure rawness tbh.

the makeup session may take place a few hours later or a day later, if it doesn't then that's how you know it's something serious that can't just be mended with a bit of physical bonding.

so in a way when you two make up like this, Kirishima feels grateful because of the unspoken common rules in your relationship.

he puts his all in to make sure that even with your disagreements he still loves you a lot. :’)

surprisingly so, i honestly believe makeup sex with this man would be soft.

it's passive aggressive at most, the only thing being harsh is the rough grip here and there or a little taunting whisper every so often.

lots of eye contact and just admiring you under him.

likes to be on top so he can shield you from everything else in the room and wants your attention all on him.

make up sex with him is smothering in the way that it's like he's trying to mold himself into you and only you.

doesn't care about what you guys fought about or disagreed earlier, he's more or so focused on the connection this will bring.

Bakugo is more quiet during this time, not really saying much but lets a few noises slip by every so often.

if he does talk, it's not very loud or aggressive, more of check ins like, “you okay?” “you like it when I XYZ?”

it's like Bakugo is treating you in a fragile manner, not wanting to shatter you or startle you. :’)

this is one of the times where his energy level isn't on 1000.

ALSO HAND HOLDING FOR SURE.

prefers to mostly do positions where he can see your face too, wants to make sure you're okay.

he's very mellow and the sort of energy is needed for the mending between you two.

    all rights reserved © do NOT steal, alter or copy this work.

[immajustvibehere]

Spark (6/8)

Arthur Morgan x fem!Reader - Enemies to Lovers

Chapter 6 summary: While still recovering from your wound, you get wind of a trap being layed out for Arthur. You might be the only one who can protect him from something bad happening...

link to my masterlist

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5

Warning: You have to live with my headcanon that Micah had something to do with Arthur getting kidnapped by the O'Driscolls.

3800 words, 18 minutes reading time

Your wound was healing agonisingly slow. Or at least, it seemed like that to you. Miss Grimshaw had sternly forbidden you to leave your bedroll for the first two days. Afterwards, she'd remain on high alert and snatch everything out of your hands that was even remotely heavy.

Grimshaw also urged you to take care of your wound, so it wouldn't get infected. She offered to have a look at it. Charles and Hosea also offered their expertise, showing that they meant well. Yet, you always refused. Though the sight wasn't a pretty one, you insisted on taking care of it yourself. Had Arthur offered...you might haven't refused. But only because he was the one who stitched you up in the first place. You knew he was capable and secretly, you longed for his gentle hands, but you’d never openly admit that.

The following week passed with a certain routine. You'd wake up early, often forced awake by the pain in your abdomen, and share a cigarette with Arthur. You never said much in the morning. The only thing he usually mentioned in a gruff and raspy morning voice what he'd do today and how the previous mission had gone. Then you'd do the chores that Grimshaw allowed you to do: cleaning weapons, washing the dishes and chopping vegetables. This aside, the days were marked by sitting by the fire and listening to whoever's story was being told at the moment.

Tonight, as it grew late and camp gradually emptied, with every person retiring to their designated bedroll one by one. Micah was the only one left. And while you had enough alcohol in your system to numb the occasional pain in your abdomen, Micah had decided to get absolute shit faced. If you understood correctly, it had something to do with losing some decent amount of money while gambling earlier. For the past half hour, your half-brother had been mumbling a bunch of nonsensical words, you had stopped bothering to listen. But suddenly, you perked up your ears.

"Ohh, I gotta tell you something", Micah rambled on, but he put such peculiar stress on the words, it made your stomach turn. "You know some people here...", he went on.

Micah paused and grumbled, opening his sixth bottle of beer. Honestly, not too much of an astonishing number, hadn't he already arrived drunk at camp a couple of hours earlier.

"Some people here ain't no good for the gang...just gonna make a lot of trouble down the line", he slurred.

Though your thoughts on "those people" had changed significantly in the last weeks, you knew better than to let Micah know that. So you answered with an air of nonchalance and a hint of mockery: "The women, you mean?"

"No, no", Micah chuckled darkly.

"The hophead of a priest?", you swallowed after delivering these words. Swanson was getting on your nerves daily, but he had proven to be a good listener.

"You ain't thinkin' big enough!", Micah gestured some huge motion with his hands, "Morgan's gone soft recently...Ain't no use for that. I'll just send him up the ridge and maybe they'll take care of it", he hiccupped. Your eyes searched the camp, you weren't sure why, but maybe you wanted to see if Arthur was still awake. At this very moment, you couldn't make any sense of Micah's words and when you looked at him again, his body was slumped over with soft snores escaping his open mouth.

The next day, lunch had barely passed when you heard the commotion, whose cause was a livid discussion between Dutch, Hosea, Pearson, Arthur and Micah. Something about Colm O'Driscoll and a parley. You hadn’t been properly introduced to the feud Dutch had with Colm, but you have had enough run-ins with his boys. After all, when you stole the bank stage with Micah and Arthur, they had almost managed to surprise you.

While you watched from a distance, the discussion seemed to have found an end. Dutch and Micah strolled off to their horses, followed by Arthur, who reluctantly trailed behind them. He wasn’t so happy about the conclusion of the conversation.

"Fuck", you mumbled. Is this what Micah had been talking about? You waited until the group had left, staring at the dust their horses had stirred up. You had to follow. This uneasy feeling in your stomach that Arthur was in danger wouldn't leave.

For a moment you took a deep breath and thought: "The heck? Why should I care?" Only to blink and admit to yourself, you cared a fucking lot. There was no way denying that. As Arthur stitched you up, his warm hands all over your body, that did something to you. You never thought anyone would ever treat you this kindly. And even though the circumstances had been...peculiar...you didn't care. If there was even the slightest chance....of chasing this feeling could pay off...

You strode towards your horse, aware that neither you, nor your horse, were carried any weapons. Grimshaw still had a stern look at you and when you tried to carry your guns yesterday, it was frowned upon with some demeaning remarks. You were still grounded to camp chores and resting your wound, though you were pretty sure it had beautifully healed the last couple of days. It didn't matter now. You sneaked to your horse and seized the opportunity to ride off before anyone could tell you not to.  

-

Arthur was lying in the grass, the scope of his gun pressed to his eye. He didn't exactly know what the hell he was doing here. It hadn't sound like a good idea before, and it didn't feel right even now, though he had a good view of the surroundings and saw that the coast was clear. A sigh escaped Arthur’s lips when he suddenly heard grass behind him rustling. He was in the motion of turning around when the sound of a muffled groan came almost simultaneous to something warm splashing onto his exposed arm.

When Arthur looked up, he saw you slitting the throat of an O'Driscoll that had sneaked up right behind him. There was still some life in him when you whirled him around to bury your knife in his stomach. Once, twice,...

"God damn fucker!", you hissed, your knife about to stab him for a third time, when Arthur tackled you from behind and pulled you on the ground.

"Jesus, woman! What the hell are you doing here?", Arthur hissed.

"Saving your ass, you ungrateful bastard!", you yelled back. The adrenaline was rushing through your body and you feared your heart would jump out of your chest any second now. Your horse was at some distance, so nobody would hear you ride up and you had sprinted the last yards.

Arthur had to give you credit for staying almost clean after pretty much gutting the fellow, most of the blood had landed on him, anyways. When you opened your mouth again and sat up, angrily wrangling yourself out of Arthur's grip, you spoke more quietly, and yet not quietly enough for a mission where the job was to stay hidden: "This fucker was about to knock you out, Arthur! If I hadn't been-"

Before you could finish the sentence, Arthur's hand was slapped onto your mouth and he grabbed your collar, to pull you into a lower position again.

"Shhh! I hear you. Stay low, damnit", Arthur's eyes bore holes into you as he tried to get his point across. For some moments, neither of you said anything. Your heavy breathing, which you had trouble calming down, was the loudest noise. With his big hand pressed on your mouth, you feared you might suffocate if you didn't calm down. This man's blue eyes that looked you up and down did nothing to relax the situation, quite the opposite actually. The thought alone that they would be closed by now if you hadn't stepped in made you sob, muffled by Arthur's hand that was still covering your mouth.

It wasn't only that. Your suspicion had turned out to be true. Micah knew. He fucking knew. This whole thing was designed to get rid of Arthur, and aside from Micah himself, only you were in on that. Arthur too, was wrecking his brain right now. He quickly checked on Dutch and Colm before he lifted his hand off your mouth only to put his index finger onto his lips, indicating you to be quiet.

"We gotta get out of here. They know you're up here", you whispered. Your voice was shaky, which you found deeply embarrassing. But you were upset.

"M'kay darlin'. Come on", Arthur announced, gripping his rifle and crawling away from the edge before he stood up to go to his horse. You followed, flabbergasted. Darling? Where the fuck did that come from? He hadn't even given you time to react. You just hurried after him, catching up when he was mounting his horse.

"We gotta lay low for a while. I'm not supposed to be here and I dare say you aren't expected back either", you said as you pulled yourself onto your horse.

"I gotta tell Dutch that this was a set-up. I knew it was a bad idea to begin with", Arthur answered.

"No. Please", you almost whined. Arthur looked at you with knitted eyebrows. He did not understand why telling Dutch was bad idea, but he hadn't expected that tone from you either, so he decided to give in.

"Okay. I know a nice spot..."

You rode off, leaving the Heartlands behind. The next best creek you passed, you used to get some blood off of you. Despite stabbing the O'Driscoll from behind, you still had managed to get your arms dirty. Arthur watched you in silence. The last couple of questions he had asked had fallen on deaf ears, so he had given up poking for answers right now.

Later, you entered a wooded area. The sky had taken a mesmerizing shade of purple and the presence of some darker clouds in the South suggested that the drizzle that had just started was about to transform into a solid rain shower. It already smelled like damp earth. Guiding your horses with ease, you navigated through the light-filled gaps between the trees. They did a decent job of shielding you from the rain, except for the occasional drop that would land on your arm.

"I camped here a while ago", Arthur explained as he jumped off his horse when you reached a nice place, "'s a good spot."

"Yeah. I'll get a fire started", you said briefly, hitching your horse and walking off to quickly grab some dry twigs. Arthur was left behind at the spot he had picked and kept wondering at your behaviour. He noticed that you didn't have anything on your horse, no spare clothes, or a tent...So, instead of putting up his tent the normal way, he used every inch of the material, not fixing the corners in the dirt, but spanning it in between some trees.

You returned with wood and build a fire. Nothing was said until Arthur had warmed some beans and passed you the can before he had tried some. His eyes were begging for some explanations, but you sighed: "Please. Don't ask."

"I'm not", Arthur put his hands up in defence and though he remained silent, you felt his gaze on you. Trying your very best to ignore it, you gulped down the beans.

"Y/N...", Arthur started.

"Mh?", you replied, mouth full, starring into the flames. The fire had become strong enough to withstand the occasional raindrop, but the air around you had cooled significantly.

"Is your wound okay?", Arthur asked, "You have some blood on your shirt..."

You checked the brownish stain on your shirt, it was indeed at the same height as your wound should be. The wound which should have healed by now.

"Did ya take the stitches out already?", Arthur inquired when he saw your sceptical look.

"Planned on doing it today, but some things came up", you shot back.

"Want me to have a look at it?", Arthur now offered, already changing his sitting position to better accommodate you.

When Arthur caught the slight questioning gleam in your eyes, he smiled softly. You weren't someone to trust easily – he knew, because he's like that too. Yet, despite the wall you both harboured, Arthur couldn’t help but worry. He wasn't sure if you felt the same, but the events of the afternoon had surely left an impression on him. The fact that you had rushed to his side and stabbed a man a few seconds before his light would have gone out...You had been so calm the last two weeks, but today you were visibly shaken. Arthur wasn't sure if there was some deeper meaning behind this or if he let hope dictate his thoughts.

"I ain't gonna hurt you", Arthur said gently, when you didn't answer.

"I know", you shrugged, setting down the can of beans, "I just think that your reasons for getting me to take of my clothes are somewhat unimaginative." You gave a cocky smile when Arthur released a shaky breath. He mumbled a 'You're insane woman’ as you slipped one arm through your sleeve and therefor exposed your bare side.

In a moment, Arthur's hand was on you again. You flinched a bit as his thumb grazed the flesh near the wound.

"Looks good. Just a slight tear, should be all healed up again by tomorrow", Arthur assessed.

"Good", you replied briefly, getting into your shirt again quickly enough to not let Arthur notice the gooseflesh that had formed at his touch. He still saw the blush on your cheeks though.

In a tender moment, your eyes locked in a silent connection, and in that instant, you discovered that his hand hadn't budged. It remained steadfast, gently resting beneath the fabric of your shirt. It was as if an unspoken agreement held you both captive, unwilling to release the intensity of your gaze, except for Arthur's occasional stolen glances towards your lips.

The feeling of wanting nothing more than to protect you overwhelmed Arthur. He wanted to claim you as his, but not in a selfish, unreflective manner. More as a testament that he still could feel so strongly for someone. Arthur wanted to ensure that love was still possible for him. So he leaned in and in a moment, his lips met yours. The touch was so soft and loving that neither Arthur nor you would have expected that your body jerked away. The same moment, your hand met Arthur's cheek, slapping him. It wasn't meant to hurt, it was more your natural answer to this sudden invasion.

"What the hell?", you mouthed breathlessly.

Arthur's head remained frozen in the position your slap had left it in. His lips had curled into a sad smile, his eyes now avoiding yours. The slap had inflicted a sting, but it was a peculiar sensation, not one he was used to from other brawls and beatings.

"Sorry", Arthur mumbled in a soft whisper. The sad smile didn't leave his face, as if something else would surface if he dared to change his expression. "Might have gotten somethings wrong...", he added. Still looking down, he adjusted his hat, so it threw a darker shadow over his eyes.

You found yourself stumbling over your words, caught between the urge to apologize and swear at him at the same time. But your incapability to express your emotions frustrated you deeply. You managed a loud enough "excuse me" for him to hear before you stood up and walked off. Not too far, just a few feet into the shelter of forest where you thought the light of the fire couldn't reach. Arthur watched you walk off. He figured you thought yourself shielded from his gaze, but he saw as you leaned against a tree, lightly bumping your head into the wet bark.

Arthur couldn't bear watching you for long, so he took his journal out and quickly started to write. It was a momentary update of his state of mind and purposefully, he left some space before he started to sketch the outlines of the dark forest and the campfire in front of him, knowing that you would dictate how this evening turned out for both of you.

However, it wasn't long until he heard your boots rustling through the twigs and leaves. Arthur looked up and his eyes followed you, until you were seated right next to him. The closeness surprised him, but he took it as a promising sign. It was a flicker of hope that soothed the anxiety that he had felt at the thought of having offended you seriously. You had your words prepared, but Arthur was faster: "'M sorry, y/n. I should've asked."

Your eyebrows knit together in a sceptical look. You thought about snorting and and mocking him by saying 'Micah's right when he told me you had gone soft' but deep down you knew that this was just further proof that Arthur was more than what meets the eye.

After you had cleared your throat, you said: "It's okay. I didn't mean to slap you, I was just...surprised."

"Remind me to never surprise you again", Arthur joked, and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. With light-hearted spirit, he continued the drawing in his journal. You caught a glimpse, but quickly averted your gaze and instead stared into the fire. You sat right next to Arthur, your arms occasionally brushed against each other, yet he didn't bother closing his journal - seemingly unaffected by your presence.

You couldn't help yourself. It was too impressive to see the drawing come together. When he sketched the shadows of the trees, you could make out the raindrops, though he hadn't specifically drawn them. Your eyes became fixated on the tip of his pencil, captivated by its movements, unwilling to tear your gaze away. But it didn't feel right, not after the last time.

Arthur noticed you were restless, so he said in an affirming voice: "I don't mind you watching, ya know?"

"All of a sudden?"

Arthur shrugged and continued to draw: "Not like you learned to read the last couple days, did ya?"

"Maybe I did. Didn't have much to do recently", you teased.

"Sure", Arthur replied, knowing you were bluffing, "So? Read it out then!"

You helplessly stared at the letters he had written, with not one clue in the world what was spelled out there. You tried to come up with something that could have been written there, but you weren't quick enough. Arthur interrupted your thinking process: "Knew it."

You sighed in defeat but lightened up when Arthur chuckled at your frustrated response. Both of you listened to the crackle of the fire. In a silent agreement, every passing moment saw you inching closer, gradually, you leaned against him. Astonishingly, Arthur showed no signs of discomfort, allowing the newfound proximity to exist, as if it were the most natural and cherished space between you.

"I like your drawings, you know", you whispered.

"They ain't special", Arthur replied. He was done with his little painting of the scenery and skipped back two pages to reveal a sketch of a squirrel.

"How can you even draw that thing with those little fuckers moving around all the time? Was it dead when you drew it?", you asked in awe at the level of detail.

"No", Arthur replied, "I jus' remember how it looks like."

Amidst the crackling of the fire, you uttered words that were almost indistinguishable, your voice muffled by your mouth pressed against Arthur's arm. Perceiving your intent, he instinctively adjusted his arm, skilfully manoeuvring it around you. Both of you were now enveloped in a half-embrace and you let it happen willingly. This was exactly what you had been craving the last couple of days. It was unusual, and yet so welcoming and soothing.

You sat like that for a while before Arthur stated his intent of laying down. You replied you'd still sit and tend the fire for a while.

Arthur lied down on his bedroll, staring at the canvas that obstructed his vision of the night sky...which probably was cloudy anyways. Aside from the usual forest noises, it was silent. About fifteen minutes had passed, but Arthur was still far from falling asleep.

"It just has never worked out for me...every time I tried the whole trusting thing...it ended badly", you explained. Your voice ended the silence and caught Arthur's attention. He sat up again.

"'m sorry to hear that", Arthur answered, "But yer still young. There are plenty people out there. I'm sure you'll find someone. If ya weren't so bad behaved-"

"Hey!", you turned towards him, to see a sarcastic smile back at you. You wondered why he’d just said that, when he kissed you earlier. When he clearly wanted you.

Arthur continued in a teasing manner: "I thought you were a nasty companion at first too, but you’re alright if ya calm down a bit and let yer guard down."

"Could say the same about you", you drew circles in the dirt.

After a while, in which you felt Arthurs eyes on you, he said: "You should try 'n rest. There's nobody around."

"Maybe a bear passes by and attacks us."

"Sure", Arthur readjusted his bedroll, "You ain't much to chew on, so ya gonna have plenty of time for running as long as it's busy with me."

Arthur had adjusted his bedroll vertically, so you could at least put your upper body on something softer.

"I bet ya taste like shit. It won't bother with you for long", you grinned at the teasing, surprised to see that Arthur had arranged a sleeping setup that would benefit you both.

"No doubt", Arthur chuckled.

You looked at the bedroll.

"If ya don't mind sharing with an old man that tastes like shit, it might be more comfortable for you like that", Arthur offered and lied down, his head now resting on one part of the soft material, while still leaving enough space between you. You joined him in the grass, turning your back towards him and fixating on random trees in the darkness. It was difficult to get those words out, but you had promised yourself to at least try expressing some of your emotions.

“I…I don’t really care if there’s plenty people out there. I think, I already found the one I’d like to trust...” You might have rushed the delivery of those words, but Arthur had understood them very well. There was a boyish smirk on his lips when he answered.

“I don’t mean to offend, miss, but you picked a real weird fella.”

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Next chapter HERE

@xclovers @photo1030 @cowboydisaster @stilinskiwitch @globetrotter28 @unbotheredbeeeee @eyelovie @ashjbu @lovrgirlsstuff @how-the-heck-would-i-know @j4llyf7sh @urfavjanalein

[starkstruck27]

My next fill for @metalsandwichbingo !! This might be the first time I've ever done two withing 24 hours without having them pre-written. Also, as much as I love Steve and Billy, in this one, I went with the idea that when they met, instead of going 'I can fix him', I went with 'I can make him worse'. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys, and title comes from the song MUD by Dorothy. Title: You Ain't Living Life til You're Down in the Mud Square + Prompt: A2, On his knees, Mouth open Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4774 Words Major Tags: Chose Not to Use* Additional Tags: Crushes, Extremely Dubious Consent, Consensual non-consent, Bullying, Billy Hargrove being an asshole, Steve Harrington being an asshole, Face-fucking, Hair-pulling, Choking, Restraints, Marking, Eddie Munson has a piss kink, Wet & messy, Dacryphilia, Name-calling, Dirty talk, Humiliation Kink, Consensual but not Safe or Sane Summary: Eddie Munson is seriously fucked up. It's fitting that everyone calls him a freak. He doesn't exactly know why he has a crush on the two guys who have made his life a living hell for the past month, but here he is. As long as no one finds out about it, though, he should be fine. But one day, after Billy trips him in the hall, he loses his journal, the one where he writes down every disgusting, filthy thing he wishes they would do to him. And unfortunately, he can't find it anywhere. Also on: Ao3 *TW for this one, I didn't use any major tags because none of them really apply, but when I say things like "extremely dubious consent" and "consensual non-consent" I mean them. Consent is not explicitly given for most of the story, but it is there. If these or any other tags bother you, please don't read. Stay safe and sane out there, lovelies!!

It had only been a month since Billy Hargrove moved to Hawkins, a month since he met up with Steve Harrington and become his best friend, a month of nothing but torment and suffering for Eddie Munson. He didn’t know why, but Steve and Billy had decided to make him their own special project, picking on him relentlessly and making his life a living hell, as if it weren’t already bad enough being the super-senior who’s dad was in jail and who’s mom was dead, so he had to live with his uncle who was always working just so they could afford to live. Add on the claims that he worshiped the devil and the fact that he hung out with losers and freaks, and you’ve got the recipe for the easiest target in the history of American high school. 

And of course, it didn’t help that Eddie knew he had a fucked up life, so when he started to develop a sick form of attraction to the people who constantly bullied him, he almost didn’t question it. It still kinda freaked him out a little, but at this point, he’d just accepted it as another thing that was happening in his stupid, fucked little head. Besides, he knew there was absolutely no way anything would ever happen there, so he figured, if his brain was gonna make him think that was what he wanted, he would rather just enjoy it instead of working himself up about it.

So he did what any person would do when they had no one to talk to about this sort of stuff, he wrote it down. He kept a journal anyway, so why not put down his fantasies and when he could one day afford a therapist, scar them for life with it so they could figure out what exactly was wrong with him? He never wanted anyone else to find it though, so he always kept it on his person, and when he went home at night, put it in the very back of the drawer in his nightstand. If anyone else ever got ahold of it, he wouldn’t even be run out of town, they’d probably just kill him on the spot, and that was unideal to say the least, so it was safer just to keep it with him at all times. 

It was a relatively small journal, one that he could fit in his back pocket, and that’s just where it was that day when the bell finally rang and he was able to head to his last class of the day. So far he’d been able to avoid Steve and Billy enough that there were no major incidents, and he was so close to going a whole day without having to endure their shit, but just as that thought entered his head, he rounded the corner only to run smack into Billy. He then found himself face-planting into the linoleum, his stuff flying everywhere and everyone around them laughing. 

Eddie sighed as he picked himself up, less upset about being tripped than he was about having to gather up all his shit. He’d had all kinds of notes for his next campaign with the guys, and now they were all over the hallway, getting stepped on and ignored by his peers. Except for two nice girls, nobody helped him to get his stuff, and instead they went about their days as if nothing had happened. 

“Billy’s such a jerk,” the one girl said as she handed Eddie his notebook stuffed with papers. She was wearing a cheer outfit and had a nice smile. “He’s always making rude comments to us when we practice. I swear, one day, I’m gonna tell him off.”

“All five foot three of you?” The other girl asked, smirking at her before helping Eddie up. She had a flannel shirt on and glasses and her hair was a fiery red. “But seriously, she’s right. Don’t let him get you down.”

“I never do,” Eddie replied, dusting himself off and smiling, “Thanks for the help, ladies.”

The two girls walked off and Eddie let his smile fall. He’d really been hoping for just one day without anything happening, but that was out the window now. Still, there was only one class left in the day, so he just had to sit through that, and then he could go home.

It wasn’t until he got home that day that he realized his journal wasn’t in his pocket. A cold shock hit him square in the chest as he ran out to his van, praying that it had just fallen out onto the seat. He searched the entire car, but there was no trace of it, so he went back inside and tore the place apart trying to find it. He was close to crying as he realized it was nowhere to be found, and he had to splash cold water on his face to get himself to calm down enough to think rationally. He remembered being tripped earlier in the day and figured that must’ve been when he’d lost it, since that was the last time he remembered having it. And as he got in his van and sped back to the school, he prayed that it had just slid under some lockers and he could go and get it with little to no resistance.

When he got to the school, he ran through the halls until he got to the one where Billy had tripped him, and he got down on his hands and knees to check under each locker, but he came up with nothing. He felt like the world was closing in around him, and he started to cry as he sank down and curled into a ball against the lockers. He sat there for a while, but finally he realized there was nothing he could do about it, so he made a plan to check the office tomorrow and see if anyone turned it in, and if not, he’d figure out his next steps later.

Meanwhile, across town, Steve and Billy were hanging out at his house, enjoying his heated pool and more than a few beers. They were fucking around and shootin’ the shit when eventually, they started talking about Eddie.

“He’s getting pretty good at avoiding us,” Steve said, “I didn’t even see him hardly at all today, and when I did, he was too far away to do anything.”

“Yeah, he’s a slippery little fucker,” Billy agreed, shaking water from his hair, “But I managed to trip him earlier today, so not all hope is lost. Oh! And I almost forgot,” Billy hoisted himself out of the pool and went over to his bag, drying his hands quickly before rooting around and pulling out a small green notebook. “This fell out of his pocket earlier today. Whattaya say? Wanna read the freak’s diary? I took a quick peek earlier and there is some fucked up shit in there.”

“Like what?” Steve asked, sitting up on the edge of the pool as Billy tossed the notebook to him. He caught it and waited for Billy to come sit next to him, and then the two of them started to read. It started out tame enough, mostly just a lot of questioning as to why his life was so messed up, and a lot of insecure thoughts. But just when they were getting bored and were about to stop reading, it got interesting. 

They read all about how Eddie was somehow fixated on them, how he had wet dreams sometimes about the two of them and how he hated that, but as they kept reading, how he finally just accepted it. He detailed everything he ever thought about them doing to him, from choking him and making him cry to forcing him and marking him like a dog. It was a treasure trove of everything he’d ever fantasized about, and it was all pure gold. There were so many new possibilities, now. Blackmail, humiliation, exposure, and the list just went on from there. By the time they finished reading, though, they’d come up with something far more rewarding than anything else, and they couldn’t wait to put their plan into action.

The next day was bright and sunny, although still a little chilly for the beginning of November. The weather was the last thing on Eddie’s mind though as he got to school, heading straight to the principal’s office before going to homeroom. He talked to the front desk lady and asked if he could look through the lost and found, but after ten minutes of going through every item in there, he had nothing. The pit in his stomach sank down deeper, but he thanked the receptionist and trudged off to class, shoving his palms in his eyes to try and keep from crying again.

The day went surprisingly well after that, all things considered. He got a math test back that he didn’t fail, and Billy and Steve seemed too concerned with the big basketball game tomorrow to be bothered with him, so as long as he kept to himself, Eddie managed to get through the day fairly easily. He still felt anxious, though, and every time he saw Cheer girl or Flannel girl in the hall, he hoped they’d come up and say they got his notebook by mistake and give it back to him, but no such luck. There were no whispers in the halls or anybody coming up to humiliate him with it either, though, so he had hope that maybe nobody had found it yet and he still had time to get it before anyone did.

That was still the only thing on his mind at the end of the day when he went back to his locker to get his stuff, and it only went away when he saw a post-it note sitting on top of his jacket. He picked it up and read the message, and sighed as he crumpled it up and stuck it in his pocket. It only had one word on it, ‘picnic’, and anybody who was in the know at Hawkins high could tell you what that meant. As much as Eddie just wanted to go home and relax for the night, he also needed the money, so he grabbed his lunch box and started making his way to the table just beyond the treeline where he always went to sell. 

When he got there, though, there was no one else in sight. He couldn’t hear leaves or sticks crunching, so he figured maybe in the time that they’d left the note and now, whoever wanted to buy from him had chickened out. He decided to wait for a few minutes just in case, but when nobody came after five, he cut his losses and started making his way back to the parking lot. 

He only got halfway there when someone grabbed him by the jacket sleeve and yanked him backwards, using one hand to hold onto him and the other to cover his mouth. He tried to struggle, but it was no use, whoever this was was a hell of a lot stronger than he was, and they were holding him at just the right angle to keep him from getting a solid footing. He had a pretty good idea of who was behind this, and a sense of dread crept up his spine and into his throat as he stopped struggling and tried to think of an escape plan.

“Here?” He heard Billy say, and tears sprang to his eyes.

“No, I heard the track team is running this trail today, one of them could see us. I know another place, c’mon,” Steve answered him, and Eddie could feel him talking from where he held him against his chest. At that point, any sense of wanting to escape had left him, and was replaced with a sense of panic so strong, he couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t even in control of himself, really, and when Steve started dragging him back to the parking lot with Billy in tow, Eddie didn’t even put up a fight. He didn’t like this, he wanted to run away, but his mind was so frantic it couldn’t send the signal down to his legs, and so he just let Steve manhandle him, all the way into the back of Billy’s car.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He finally got the nerve to ask as Steve climbed in the back with him and Billy started to drive. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere nobody will find us,” Steve said, a wicked grin on his face.

“What are you gonna d-do to me?” Eddie asked, hardly noticing that Steve was taking his jacket off of him as he heard Billy laugh in the front seat. He held up Eddie’s missing notebook and his eyes went wide as he tried to lunge for it. He didn’t even get halfway there before Steve grabbed his arms and wrestled them behind his back, tying them together a little too tightly with an old shoelace.

“Give that back!” He tried, but it only made the other two laugh.

“Listen, Freak, it doesn’t matter anyway, we already read it,” Steve said, “So if you want us to keep this between us and not plaster the pages all over the school, I suggest you shut up and do what we say, capisce? Now drink this.”

Eddie was too stunned to do anything but comply. He opened his mouth as Steve held a water bottle for him, and he made him drink the whole thing plus a second one while he gave Billy directions. By the time he was halfway through the third bottle, the car finally stopped, and Steve let him stop drinking so they could get out of the car. They were at the top of the cliffs surrounding the quarry, one of the most secluded places in all of Hawkins, nobody would think to look for any of them up here. That was all Eddie could think about as he was helped out of the car, and it did nothing to help his nerves, or his bladder. He felt like he was about to burst, he’d already kinda had to pee before any of this started, but now with two and a half bottles of water in him, he was desperate. Still, his hands were tied. Literally. 

“Get on your knees, Freak,” Steve spat, pushing Eddie down on the rocky ground and smiling as he winced.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He asked, his heart racing and his body starting to feel restless. It kinda felt good, now that he’d gotten used to it, but he had no idea what was gonna happen, and that was the only thing that made him nervous.

“We read your little diary,” Billy said, “And we thought, we could do a lot of fun things with this, but we decided this was the best idea we had. So here’s the deal, you do what we tell you and keep your mouth shut, and we give you exactly what you want.”

“And,” Steve chimed in, “If you behave and act like a good little slut, we won’t accidentally leave this open in the library for someone else to find. Sound fair?”

Eddie wasn’t sure how to respond for a minute, he still had no idea what Billy meant when he said they’d give him ‘exactly what he wanted’, but if he were being honest, he’d rather do what they said and maybe get his journal back rather than refusing and it getting out to everyone. Besides, the morbidly curious part of his brain wanted to go through with it, so finally he nodded.

“Wh-whatever you say,” he said, and Billy and Steve both smiled.

“Good choice,” Steve said, then walked over and grabbed Eddie by the hair, making his mouth fly open from the painful grip and making the pressure in his groin build. “That’s a good slut, you like it when I pull your hair? I bet you like it whenever I do anything to you, huh? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me lately? Afraid you’re gonna pop a boner if I hit you hard enough?”

Eddie couldn’t deny that this was starting to feel better than it should have. The names, the insults, the pain, the desperation, it was all strangely provocative, and his head was starting to get a little foggy as Billy came over to add fuel to the fire.

“That must’ve been why you scurried away so fast last week when I pinned you to the lockers,” he said, wrapping a hand around Eddie’s throat, but only adding enough pressure to make sure Eddie could feel it. “You’re such a dirty little freak, getting off on fucked up shit like this. Did you touch yourself after last week? Did you jerk off or shove a couple fingers up your ass, or maybe both? I bet it was both, and I bet you wished it was one of us that was fucking you instead of just your hand, isn’t that right?”

“Y-yes,” Eddie mumbled, but it mustn’t have been good enough, because next thing he knew Billy was digging the toe of his boot into his stomach, right where his bladder would be. Eddie started to breathe heavier, his eyes starting to feel wet again as he did everything he could to keep his composure. He had to go so bad, and the other two just laughed as he started to whine like a toddler. “Yes, okay?! You’re right! I was horny and I fucked myself in the school bathroom and I wished it was you, okay?!”

“Good job, slut,” Billy smiled, finally letting up and taking a step back. Steve followed and stood next to him, and the two seemed to tower over him as they stared him down.

“Piss yourself,” Steve said, and Eddie almost cried.

“What?” He asked, his voice small and pathetic.

“You heard me, now do it. Piss yourself,” he repeated.

“You can’t be serious,” Eddie whined, a couple of tears escaping. This was so humiliating.

“I’m dead serious, now fucking do it,” Steve demanded, getting in Eddie’s face and grabbing his hair again, pulling hard. Eddie let out a cry of pain and Steve let up, stepping back again and watching as Eddie cried.

He couldn’t believe this was happening. It felt so good to be used like this, but it was also the most mortifying ordeal he’d ever been through in his life. He couldn’t believe they wanted him to do this, but finally, he just couldn’t hold it anymore. He started crying harder as he started to go, sobbing a bit as he soaked his jeans. He suddenly regretted wearing the blue ones today, since the black ones would’ve made it harder to see, but with the blue, it was easy to tell what he was doing. He knew the other two could tell, he could hear them laughing and mocking him, and as much as it hurt, it also heightened the thrill a little bit. And when he finally finished, his jeans soaked through and his face red from crying, they made their way back over, grinning widely.

“Can’t believe you actually did it,” Billy said, licking his lips. “Now, sit up and open your mouth.”

Eddie nodded and sniffed a little, leaning his head to the side to try and wipe his face on his shoulder, but then he did as he was told. He sat up and opened his mouth, and then he waited, watching as the two of them unzipped their jeans and got their own dicks out. Then, without any more warning, Billy grabbed him by his hair, shoving his dick into Eddie’s mouth, and holding his head down until he started to choke.

“Does that feel good, slut?” He asked as he let him up, barely giving him enough time to take a breath, much less answer, before pushing him back down. He fucked his throat hard, already reducing him to tears again and barely giving him any breaks except to breathe. Steve egged him on, encouraging his buddy to hold him down longer, to really give it to him, and if Eddie whimpered or made a noise, he’d mock him, making him feel even more ashamed and making him enjoy it more and more with each insult hurled his way.

Eddie was crying harder as Billy kept it up, until finally, he stopped. He pulled out of his mouth before finishing, and as Eddie coughed and finally managed to catch his breath, he just stood there, watching and laughing. It sent a wave of embarrassed excitement shoot through Eddie, and if he hadn’t been hard before, he certainly was now. He could feel the ache against his wet jeans, which were cooling rapidly and making him shiver, which didn’t help his desperation to come right then and there. But before he could get himself composed enough to do it, Steve noticed, and he grabbed Eddie by the face this time as he spoke to him.

“You better not even think about coming until I say you can. Otherwise I’ll leave you here tied up and by the time you find a way to get back home, the entire town will have read your little diary, understand me?” He asked, and as much as it pained him, Eddie nodded. “Good. Now open your fucking mouth again.”

Eddie once again did as he was told, and Steve wasted no time in giving him the same treatment that Billy had. He fucked his throat mercilessly and Eddie just took it. It wasn’t as hard this time, he’d gotten kinda used to it, and even though it was still rough, he was starting to like it that way. This was what he’d been fantasizing about for over a month now, anyway, and it was being presented to him on a silver platter. He might as well enjoy it, right?

Once he’d gotten used to the intrusion in his throat, it didn’t seem to take quite as long, and before he knew it, Steve was pulling out of his mouth, too, he and Billy standing over him and stroking their cocks, and finally, coming all over him. He let them take their time, his clothes were already ruined and his face was a mess, so they couldn’t do much more damage now than they already had. When they were done, he waited patiently for their next orders, a twinge of fear still twisting in his gut as Steve smirked at him. He didn’t do anything, though, just traced his fingers over his ruined shirt and then lifted his hand, shoving his fingers into Eddie’s mouth, covered in come. 

“Swallow it,” he commanded, and Eddie did, his throat burning a bit from being used so harshly.

“Good slut,” Billy said, grinning widely. “Now, that little book of yours said that if you were ever in a situation like this with the two of us, you’d want us to mark you like a dog, isn’t that right?”

“Y-yeah,” Eddie swallowed, his voice thick. “P-please.”

“Aww, look at that, the bitch is begging,” Steve laughed meanly, then looked at Billy, “What do you think, Bill? Is the little freak worth claiming as ours?”

“Fuck yeah, why not? Not like he can do much about it, and I like the idea of being able to fuck him up like this any time I want, don’t you?” Billy replied, grabbing his now limp dick and winking at his friend as he started to piss all over Eddie. Steve nodded and did the same, the two of them covering him from head to toe. Eddie couldn’t help but make a noise of pleasure as they did, the warmth of their piss almost a comfort in the chilly November evening. Not only that, but it was unbelievably erotic to be claimed by someone like this, animalistic instincts taking over and making them act so filthily, and Eddie couldn’t get enough of it. He was so close, and this just added another layer of desperation that he liked, but he was so ready to toss that feeling aside and let himself blow.

When they were finally done, Steve and Billy tucked themselves away and straightened themselves out, making sure they looked normal, and completely ignoring Eddie for a minute until they were satisfied with themselves. Then they turned their attention back to a squirming, whining Eddie, ready to leave him with one last indignity.

“You wanna come now, bitch?” Billy asked, licking his lips again as Eddie nodded vigorously. “Then you’re gonna have to work for it like the fucking dog you are, come here.”

Eddie listened easily and shuffled forward on his knees until he was at Billy’s feet, and once he was, he looked up for further directions. Billy didn’t give any, instead he just stuck his leg out, and Eddie got the hint right away.

“You s-sure?” He asked, still a little nervous to make a wrong move. 

“Yeah, go on. Be a good fucking dog and get yourself off,” Billy said, and Steve nodded along, clearly holding back a laugh. Eddie didn’t care if they laughed anymore though, he was too wound up to give a shit, so he didn’t let himself even think about it as he settled Billy’s leg between both of his and started to hump it like a dog. It felt so damn good, the humiliation mixed with the actual physical sensations feeling like the most perfect blend in the universe. He knew it had been less than a minute before he finally came with a moan, even thirty seconds was being generous, but it was the best orgasm he’d ever had, and as concerning that probably should’ve been to him, he just didn’t care right then. 

Once he’d ridden out his orgasm as long as he could, Eddie fell over on his side. His knees were throbbing from him kneeling on the gravel for so long, and his arms and hands were tired from being in the same position for so long. His throat felt like it was on fire, and his eyes were burning, too, from crying so much. He was tired and dirty and getting cold, and he could hear the other two laughing at him, but he was too blissed out to care about any of it. 

After a minute or so, Steve came up behind him again and untied the shoelace from his wrists. He must’ve gone back to the car at some point as Eddie had laid there, because he tossed his jacket and the unfinished water bottle from earlier down next to him. Eddie finally found the strength to sit up and was about to thank him, but before he could, Steve spoke first. 

“Remember our deal, Freak. This stays between us, or we show that book to everyone, understand?” He asked, and Eddie nodded.

“Yeah, I hear ya,” he rasped, a goofy smile on his face. These two really weren’t so scary, now that he thought about it.

“Good. And maybe if you keep yourself in line like a good little bitch, we can really ruin you, just like you want,” Billy added, grabbing Eddie by the hair one last time and staring him down. “Remember, you’re ours now. We own you.”

Eddie felt a strange tingle in his stomach when he heard that, and he looked back and forth between the other two for a moment before nodding. They nodded back and then let him go, the both of them going back to the car and climbing in, leaving Eddie there without even a glance back in his direction. 

Eddie sighed as he watched them drive off. He should’ve known that they weren’t going to start being nice to him, even after all this, so it shouldn’t have surprised him when they left him to find his own way home. He drank the rest of the water they’d left him with and tossed the bottle off the cliff, then braced himself to stand up. He cringed in pain as his knees straightened out after so long, and his feet were still kinda numb, but he’d have to walk it out eventually, so he might as well get a move on before it got really dark. He could worry about picking his van up tomorrow. At least Forest Hills wasn’t too far from here.

[the-fiction-witch]

Lil Lady P2

Media - Godless Character - Whitey Winn Couple - Whitey X Reader Reader - Y/n Winn Rating - Sweet af Word Count - 2615

Warnings for childbirth!

Part One

As I finished knocking on the last fence post, I felt the exhaustion in my bones and my sweat trickling down my face. I removed my hat and used it to wipe off the sweat while taking a deep breath of satisfaction. I looked around and saw my jumper resting on the rocking chair on the porch, where I had left it before starting my work. My sleeves were rolled up to my elbows, and I wore a pair of suspenders to keep my pants up while working.

Taking a moment to look over the place, I admired our little one-room farmhouse with its small porch and rocking chair out front, where I often spent my evenings drinking lemonade and enjoying the sunset. I had built a small, sheltered stable to the side of the house where Ted, our beloved horse, resided. The crop field was to the side of the house, and I had planted a variety of crops. A small pen full of chickens was nearby, where we got our daily dose of fresh eggs, and I had marked out an area for a well to provide us with fresh water.

It wasn't much, but it was home, and I loved it. I saw so much potential in this place, and I couldn't wait to see it come to fruition. However, I had to accept that I was just one man, used to a cushy office job as a deputy. So, I continued to work hard and make the most of what I had, knowing that every little improvement would bring me closer to my dreams.

I turned my head towards the sound of the porch creaking and my eyes lit up with delight. Standing before me was Y/n, the love of my life, who had always been beautiful, but today she looked even more breathtaking. She stepped onto the porch, her small house slippers barely making a sound on the wooden planks. She was wearing a white cotton nightie that clung to her curves in all the right places, and a dressing gown wrapped around her shoulders, which accentuated her baby bump. Her Y/h/C hair was styled in a long braid that cascaded down her back, and her sweet Y/E/C eyes looked towards me with a warm smile. I couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and admiration as I gazed at her.

"Well Hiya Lil lady, what can I do ya for Mrs Winn?" I tipped my hat to her,

"Very funny Mr Winn," she laughs,

"what are ya doin' out of bed?" I went over leaning on the porch railing,

"strechin' my legs,"

"I know you're gettin' a lil cabin fever but go on back to bed you need to keep off them legs till baby comes," I told her,

"I'll be alright for five minutes whitey," she pleads,

"Alright but not a second more," I told her,

She nodded with a happy smile so I moved closer running my hands over her bump and peppering it with kisses, so she rests her hands in my hair.

"Umm Hiya lil baby." I cooed, "You are gettin' so big,"

"He's getting ready to come out,"

"I know he is, Lil baby must be gettin' excited after seein' that nice crib I made him,"

"Yes... the crib,"

"What?"

"Nothing,"

"Something wrong with my woodwork?"

"...No whitey," she chuckled,

"Good, besides the first couple weeks, we'll just wanna cuddle him up in our arms,"

"I'm sure we will," she chuckled, "what have you been doing all morning anyway?"

"I did the fence like ya asked," I told her showing off my work, "Ain't I just the handsome, rugged, livin' of the land hubby ya always dreamed of lil lady?" I cuddled her from behind my chin on her shoulder and my hands on her belly,

"Yes," she smiled, "Whitey?"

"Mhm?"

"Where's the gate?"

I then looked around the whole fence and noticed, "God damn it! forgot the bloody fence." I sighed,

"You gonna have to start again,"

"...Nah I'll just make a hole where the gate needs to be," I shrug heading down to get my tools,

"Ah yes, the handsome, rugged, livin' of the land hubby I always dream of, full of solutions,"

"It's why ya married me," I smirked,

"Come on lil one, let's get you something nice to eat," she said heading back inside,

"Alright, ya get yourself back to bed while I get this done."

"Will do!" she calls,

"Love ya!"

"Love you too!"

I sat outside, breathing in the crisp evening air as I slowly rocked back and forth in my cherished rocking chair. The endless void of darkness that surrounded me was only broken by the soft glow of the lantern by the door, its light the only source of illumination for miles. The moon was absent tonight, and the only sounds that could be heard were the occasional clunks and clatters from the chickens and the stable. Despite the stillness, I found it comforting out here. It was our own little slice of paradise, secluded from any troubles or concerns that may exist elsewhere. Our humble abode was a place where we could build and raise our family, and I cherished every moment spent in its peaceful embrace.

There are moments when I find myself overcome by a sense of longing for my former home in Labelle. I miss the familiar faces of Bill and Maggie, the old guy who ran the local saloon, where I spent many a pleasant evening - sipping on a cold beer, chatting with friends, and enjoying the lively atmosphere. I also miss the convenience of having a dry goods store nearby, where I could easily pick up some orange drops.

Despite these feelings, I know that our move was the right decision for all of us. I can no longer think solely of myself since I have a wife and a baby to care for now. This new chapter of our lives will bring new opportunities and challenges, and I'm excited to see what the future holds for us.

Speaking of which, I jolted almost falling out of my chair and I heard a scream from inside, my first thought was immediately either Spider. or Snake. So I bolted inside and saw Y/n in bed clutching her stomach. Oh fuck... it's labour!

"Y/n lil lady are you alright!"

"DO I look alright!"

"How long did this start?"

"I've been feeling strange all day, but It's only gotten worse, but now-" She was cut off by her own scream,

"Ohh okay," I gulped, "You're not meant to go into labour for another week, doctor ain't coming out will Sunday,"

"Well, doctor or not Baby is coming whitey!"

"Ohhhhhh fuck. shit. fuck. fuck. Okay... if I saddle Ted up fast and ride like a mad man I can be to the nearby down in an hour grab the doctor and come back another hour-" I began but another scream erupted me,

"We don't have two hours whitey!"

"We don't?" I asked and my blood ran cold as she pulled away the sheets tears straining her face as we were far from a doctor being called on, "Ohh shit."

"Whitey... you-"

"No. No. No. I can't-"

"Whitey you have to!" she cried,

"I can't deliver a baby!"

"Well I can't do it can I!"

"I know... I... I don't know what to do!"

"You read the baby book,"

"I skimmed it!"

She screamed again, "You put it in there whitey! just do it backwards!"

"I don't think me puttin' my dick into this situation will help,"

"Whitey!"

"Okay! okay!... don't worry lil lady I will figure this out," I told her kissing her head, I grabbed the baby book, I grabbed a blanket, towels, a large bowl, and a glass and bottle of whiskey. Putting everything at the end of our bed, I grabbed the glass and opened the bottle pouring myself a glass but before I could drink it she grabbed it and shot it. "Y/n!" I almost laughed at her,

"What!"

"You're pregnant!"

"He's leaving. and I'm in agony. Double shot." She demanded handing me the glass back, I didn't argue and poured her more before taking a swig myself for confidence. I flicked through the book and set things up as best I could based on the descriptions. And also doing my best not to get freaked out or vomit but... it's terrifying I think I deserve some credit.

It was hard to watch her in so much pain, but I did everything I could for her trying my best to make it easy she had tossed the glass and was now just swigging right from the bottle which did seem to help her. And then it was all so sudden, her screams became violent as she cursed and swore my very existence, and then I saw a head, then shoulders, then the whole baby was out, so I scooped him up in my blanket as fast as I could and handed him to Y/n without even thinking. For a moment I think we both just reverted to pure instincts.

And suddenly it was calm.

And what a sight it was, Y/n sat up in our bed, our little baby boy in her arms his face against her chest. She had the sweetest tears in her Y/E/C eyes, her Y/h/C hair matted and messy, both of them covered in fluids and blood but I went over and kissed his little head cradling them both gently in my arms.

"I've never been so happy, he's perfect,"

"He is... our perfect lil boy,"

"Our sweet lil boy," I cooed, "There is nothin' I wouldn't do for ya, and for him. I swear it Y/n. I love ya both so much,"

"I love you too whitey," We shared a soft kiss and I helped her through the rest of the birthing stuff making sure everything was as it should be before I got my turn I held his little body in my arms and I was so smitten, he had little Y/E/C eyes just like her, but some shaggy blonde hair like me. And I loved him the moment he came into this world, I nuzzled my head against him like I had so often when he was inside her, and it even felt the same.

"My son... my sweet lil boy,"

"cosy?" she asks as she lays in bed resting after everything,

"Very, ya think of a name yet?"

"Lucas," She smiled,

"Lucas? Awww lil Lucas. I love it." I smiled, "Lil Lucas Winn. That's a big strong name for a big strong boy," I cooed,

"It is, a big strong farm boy."

I chuckled, "A big strong farm boy, with a mama and a hubby who love each other very very much," I kissed her head, "Rest Lil lady, I got him for a while,"

"You sure?"

"I'm fine, he's so lil how much trouble can he be?"

"Famous last words," she giggled, "Goodnight WHitey,"

"Goodnight Y/n," I smiled, and she was out almost like a light, "Guess it's just you and me for a Lil while Lucas. I promise ya I am goin' to take care of ya and give ya the best life in the world."

As I stood outside on a hot day, taking care of the chickens, Y/n was busy feeding Lil Lucas inside the house. I noticed one of the chickens, which I had nicknamed 'Pecky', was trying to peck my boots off, so I had to tell it off. I carefully set the feed down out of reach and made my way to the porch for a moment of relief. Suddenly, I spotted two horses heading our way, and my heart began to race. I wasn't sure who they could be or what their intentions were. I quickly headed back inside to grab my guns, just in case.

Soon enough, the horses approached the fence, and I could see that it was Bill Mcnue and Y/n's father. So I stood my ground,

"Mornin' pleasant day for some farmwork," Bill said,

"That it is," I answered,

"You're corns lookin' a little wilted, you need some water on it quick."

"Rain's comin' tomorrow. No point water loggin' it. Besides I ain't finished the well yet."

"Alright, you best get that done."

"Yeah, I better. what'd ya want?"

"Course, I uhh I'm Sherrif Bill Mcnue from down Labelle,"

"I know who ya are." I snapped back never lowering my guns,

"We're looking for the Winn Farm, We in the right place?"

"Ya are."

"...Whitey?"

"Hiya Bill,"

"God damn- I barely even-"

"So you're the fucker who knocked up my daughter and bolted with her-" Her father began but I clocked my gun,

"Hey! I know ya wanna beat my ass for what I did. But you're in my neck of the woods now Mr. This is my farm and I paid a cool five dollars for that very bit of land ya standin' on, so as it is ya trespassin' on my hand. and as an Ex Lawman myself I know for a fact ya come over that fence I am well within my rights to shoot ya between the eyes. Ain't that so Bill?"

"He's right." Bill nodded,

"where's my daughter?" He asked,

"Y/n's restin',"

"I wanna see her! I wanna see her take her home!"

"You have no right-"

"She's my daughter! I have every right to take her home!" he tried to come over the fence,

"Not anymore ya don't!" I warn, "We got married in a local chapel just an hour's ride from here, lovely lil place I recommend it. We're married, Mr and Mrs Winn legally all states, all rules, all laws, she ain't just a daughter ya can take home Mr, This is her home now."

"Let me see my daughter!"

"She. Is. Restin'."

"Let me see her!"

"Will ya quit ya shouting!" I yelled back, "We have a sleepin' baby in the house, and a woman still recoverin' from labour keep ya fuckin' voice down." I demanded.

"Let. me. See. My. Daughter."

Luckily the door opened, and Y/n came out with Lil Lucas in her arms, she saw him and her face turned sour, she kissed my cheek and bounced Lucas on her hip,

"Hiya Daddy,"

"You really did it... you stupid little girl." He tossed his head back and forth, "You are coming home right now."

"I am home Daddy, I'm a married woman, with a son, with chores to do, I am not coming back with you Daddy. I'm staying here. Where I belong. Now Lucas has just woken up from his nap, I would be more than happy to let you in for a cup of coffee, the same offer applies to you, Bill. And you are welcome to come back and visit Lucas and us as much as you want. But this is my home. And if you can't accept that, then I'm cutting you off from me, my husband, my home, and your grandson."

"A cup of coffee sounds mighty nice Miss- Ohh Sorry Mrs Y/n Winn," Bill chuckled as he came through the gate,

"Choices is yours, Daddy," she shrugged,

"You own this place?" He asked,

"We do," I nodded,

"Baby's happy?"

"Happy, healthy, drinking milk like it's going out of fashion."

"you got food? clothes? money?"

"As much as we need,"

"Farms the plan?"

"It's the way we're goin',"

"You takin' care of my little girl?"

"That I am sir, And our little boy," I smiled giving them each a kiss,

"... Alright," He sighed climbing down from his horse and opening the gate, "You really got to finish digging that well out,"

"Ohh he knows," Y/n gives me a side eye,

"You guys can tie your horses up in the stable with Ted. I'll get the kettle going." I smiled,

Of course, Bill and her father came over happily to see little Lucas, so I gave her and him another kiss, "Back in a sec lil lady,"

"see you soon hubby," she cooed,

"Just a moment lil boy," I cooed tapping his nose before I went in to make coffee, 

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 27

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📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

Wow, you guys. I got carried away with this one. It's a biggun!!

Kick.

The soccer ball rebounds off the tyre.

Kick.

I pretend it's a walker head.

We haven't seen one of the dead in weeks, but I know they're out there.

Kick.

Buried in the snow.

Kick.

Just like everything else.

KICK.

It shoots off into the car yard.

I watch it bounce down the aisle of rotted vehicles, bumping up against the chain-link fence. A sigh escapes my chapped lips and blows away in the wind. For what must be the tenth time today, I pull my scarf up and trudge over to the ball.

Aside from day dreaming, this is about the only thing I can entertain myself with nowadays. I can't play so well without a partner, but the afternoons slog on otherwise. It was a couple weeks ago that people stopped wantin' to talk, or tell a story, or try their hand at makin' a joke, a couple weeks before those ones that Rick stopped talkin' altogether. I just don't think any of us have the energy. The only thing we can waste it on is breathing in and out and lighting the campfire every morning. Some days, like today, I even waste it on the ball.

Besides, we don't got anything interesting to say. There's only so many times you can comment on the weather.

Crunch, crunch, crunch, go my boots in the packed snow.

Thinking back on it, the last time I heard Rick say anything that weren't a barked order was the night we slept in an abandoned house. It was the first time since the farm fell that Dad had come back without any game on his shoulder. Carl had tried eatin' an old can of dog food for dinner. I still remember the way the brown meat exploded against the floor when Rick threw it, and we were scared then, too.

So, we went hungry — And almost every night since then, we've gone hungry.

I wonder if Dad's gonna try go huntin' again today, but I doubt it. Ain't worth it, no more.

It'll be a handful of burnt mushrooms for dinner again, tonight.

I bend and pick up the ball, dusting off the snow.

Some months ago, Rick told me that if he had to hear the word mushroom one more time, he'd go crazy. I almost smile to myself at the memory, the day we shared fruit and worked on the fence. If only he knew he'd be eating them every day; that he'd go crazy, anyway.

It was also the day we lost everything, is the souring thought that comes after, just like it always does.

Movement.

I look up, peering through the hexagonal webbing of the fence, out onto the street.

There it is. A white blob with a black marking.

Well, a dog.

A dog sniffs around one of the cars. I ain't seen a dog since before. I realize that for some reason I'd thought they'd all disappeared, and maybe they have, but not this one. He's a stubby little feller. Barely tall enough to see over the walls of snow, but he manages. His pink nose traces down the tyre, taking him underneath the rusted shell. I watch him cram himself through the gap with little effort.

My empty stomach rumbles to me that I should shoot it from here and we can roast it over a fire.

Is it okay to eat the thing that eats the dog food? Is is different from a squirrel?

When he wriggles back out, a dead mouse hangs from his teeth.

Oh. He caught somethin'.

Outta the corner of my eye, Dad approaches me, a sore frown below the brim of his beanie.

He makes a pincer gesture with both hands, shaking them slightly. 'What are you doing?'

I slap my thigh a few times, the sign for, 'Dog.'

When I point, he turns to look.

The dog clumsily gnaws at the skin holding the mouse meat together, letting the head plop onto the ground.

Dad tenses slightly, glancing out at the empty street; the trees beyond it. He thinks the dog might not be alone. Squirrels, possums. They don't got owners. They're too wild and nasty. But dogs do. We wait for a moment for someone to appear, but nobody does.

We're both thinking the same thing, but I'on think Dad will say it before I do.

'We should eat him,' I sign; the smart thing to do. We should eat him. But, 'I don't want to.'

He pauses. He don't want to, neither.

People are predictable like this. The world has up and ended, but we still pray before we eat, we remember our birthdays for no good reason, and we refuse to eat pets. All the bolts in Dad's bow and all the bullets in my pistol are stayin' right where they is.

Dad moves past me, undoing the gate latch and pilling it open, mutely snapping his fingers.

The dog's head snaps up.

Fresh blood paints its lopsided, gaping grin, dripping small jewels into the snow.

It considers the both of us, unsure if it wants to abandon its dinner. His head is droopy and egg shaped, undeniably ugly but in an adorable way, with two black dots for eyes and a chest like a body builder. Bull Terriers, I'm sure they're called. Rodent killers.

Stepping over the little pile of organs, the dog makes up its mind and trots over to us.

Dad kinda flinches when it places its nose in his outstretched hand, relaxing, letting it nuzzle at him.

Luckily, he ain't a human killer.

'It's okay,' He's concluded, guiding the dog inside and latching the gate closed.

I drop to my knees, giggling softly as I cradle the dog's big face, scratching behind his ears. Oh, he loves it. He must'a been lonely.

I mouth up at Dad, Keep him?

Food is scarce, and Lori is sick an' pregnant, but I still hope we can keep him. I'm already preparing a list of reasons we should.

'Everyone's decision,' He signs, before nodding us back the way we came.

Standing up, I follow behind him, and the dog makes sure he don't get left behind.

The garage stands firm in the onslaught of snow. We've made it a sort of home for now, but it's far from paradise. It's old. Small. It don't keep the wind out. Beth, Maggie, T, and Glenn are huddled around the campfire in a patch of melted sleet, the four of 'em the first to notice our return, and our new friend. They perk up at the sight of the dog, before breaking out in smiles.

Kneeling next to Glenn, I help him welcome the dog with pets and cuddles.

Rick's marching over to us before I can even wonder where he is, 'cause ain't nothin' happens without him knowing.

I expect him to be angry. He's always angry when it comes to mouths to feed.

But after exchanging some words with Dad over my head, he surprises me by nodding, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets, watching us. I think I must've got it mixed up, but nope, he sends me the slightest, weightiest of smiles and nods again.

A foreign sort of relief flushes through me at the realization that I don't gotta persuade him.

I'm happy, for free.

Grinning up at everyone, I bask in the wonderful sight of their silent chuckles.

Glenn makes finger guns and taps them together.

'Name?'

I glance down at the dog; give it a good think. If I were a weird little rodent killer, what would I want my name to be?

I know. Dusting off the end of my nose with my finger, I share my decision with the group.

'Mouse.'

I startle as the dog licks my knuckles.

Maggie pouts, mouthing the word, Cute.

'When I found him,' I sign, trying and failing to keep my hands clean of dog-slobber, 'He caught a mouse.'

'He's a hunter,' Dad agrees, approving.

I lead Mouse into the garage to meet the others, ducking under the shutter doors and shivering off the sting of the snow. I wish we could light another campfire in here to keep warm, but Rick says the smoke would kill us faster than the cold will.

Not that it mattered much to my hearing aids.

As it turns out, the cold kills batteries, too.

I've learnt to manage without 'em by now, but I miss it. There were even days where I could hear my own laugh.

At least when the thaw comes back around, I'll be able to use them again.

I step over the piles of blankets scattered across the concrete floor, mindful not to cross paths with any of them. I wouldn't be a very popular person if I trampled somebody's stuff. Any little thing will cause a fight nowadays. We're stacked on top of each other in here. Chickens in a slaughterhouse cage. I learnt that it's easy to lose yer temper here, even if we do love each other, when I woke up durin' the first night. Glenn was apparently muttering in his sleep, sum' about, No, please, this is all I have, before T-Dog shook him awake with a pair of angry hands, growling at him to, Shut the fuck up. Nobody slept after that, but nobody ever really sleeps.

Mouse sniffs around the many makeshift beds, his tail beating back and forth against his muscly legs.

I already know how to study somebody's face to see which side of them I'm getting that day. I did it with Merle all the time. I knew the exact angle of his brow when he was drunk, about to start plottin' murder and makin' loud phone calls to people that owed him whatever it was he got scammed outta that week, the exact angle when he was gettin' mad, when he was asleep, or high, or both.

It's a talent to read closed books. Living like this for so long, I ain't the only one good at it, no more.

'Hey,' I wave to Lori. She's sat against the wall, wrapped in blankets. Not angry today. Safe to talk. 'We found a dog.'

Her bleary eyes widen.

Mouse plods up to the table, where Herschel and Carl are sitting. It's like they think he's a baby polar bear at first, but they soon realize it's safe. He soaks up their attention before slipping through their legs and approaching us, expecting some from Lori, too. 

Cautious not to lose her fingers, she sneaks a hand out from under her many layers, stroking Mouse's long snout.

A smile graces her pale lips.

'Where did you find him?', Herschel signs to me, his veiny hands moving fast and precise, 'cause he's the best outta all'us. It ain't all that fair, since I'm the deaf one and all, but this old man has known sign language longer than I've even been alive. 

'At the fence.' I answer, watching Carl stand from his seat and join his Momma on the floor, reaching out to pet the dog with her. I stare at the top of his head, tryna remember the last time we spoke. When I look back up at Herschel, I add, 'I was playing.'

'Have you named him, yet?'

Nodding, I make the sign. 'Mouse.'

'Mister Mouse.' He chuckles heartily, reminding me of Santa Claus. It's dim in here from the total lack of windows, but I can still see the way his cheeks crinkle around a mellow smile. I can always count on Herschel to make me feel like there's bread baking in the other room and I can smell it and everything is going to be okay. 'I'm sure he would love to play with you sometime.'

I return his smile, suddenly craving warm bread. 'I hope so. Tyres are bad at soccer.'

'Goodness. I'm sure.'

Calling Mouse over with a few kissy sounds, the two of us duck back under the doors in search of the soccer ball.

'Hey. Watch this.'

'We're watching.'

At the thumbs up Glenn sends me, I turn, focusing on holding the soccer ball in front of me. One, two, three. I drop it onto the toe of my boot and give it a small kick. It flies. Mouse pounces on it like a cat with a ball of yarn, slipping and sending it rolling away.

We been practicing that move for ages.

Looking back at everyone, I notice that they're all clapping for us, cowering their faces into their poofy scarves.

'Did you see?', I ask, just to make sure.

Another thumbs up from Glenn. 'Very cool.'

It weren't very cool at all — In fact, it was total garbage — but it was fun putting on a show.

'Thanks.' As Mouse chases after the ball, I leave him be and return to the campfire. 'I'm so tired, now.'

I really shouldn't be. I'm only a kid, and kids are supposed to have a lot of energy. I'm sure of it, since our neighbour Betty used to complain to Dad about her boy havin' too much of it whenever the two of 'em smoked together on our porch after work. His eyes would droop like a slow-blinking frog's whenever he got back from the mechanic shop, sometimes sleeping for a whole day, even at the dining table, while he was halfway through a meal. All the adults I knew were tired, but not like this. We's starving; hollow.

I'm jealous of my past self, who used to be able to play soccer for hours on end.

Maggie sends me a sad smile. 'Me, too, honey.'

'Sorry,' Glenn signs to me, 'cause he always says that. 'Come rest. It's warm here.'

'Can I sit next to you?', I ask T-Dog, pointing to the empty seat between him and Glenn.

Like the others, there's two moon-shaped craters hanging below his eyes, bruised an ugly purple against the brown of his skin. The man sends me a deadpan look, as if the cold's gone to my brain. 'No,' Then, sassily; 'Of course you can.'

Rolling my eyes at his attitude, I sit down and lay my head against the canvas backing.

My bones have been replaced with rope, loose and heavy.

I know we're gonna be leaving soon.

That pensive look on Rick's face is easy to recognise, even if he tries hiding it behind his scarf as he stands watch.

According to the map, there ain't no drug stores or doctor's offices for nearly five miles around us, and we're gonna need one. The medicine, what little we'd scrounged up, has ran out. Lori ain't suffering anything worse than a sniffly nose and a cough, but out here, — In the snow and the wind and the rain, with nothin' but a flimsy bitta metal to shelter us from it all — Well, we all know. I asked Dad if the baby in her belly could get sick, too, and all he told me was that none of this is ideal. I understood. When things ain't ideal, people die.

That place Rick was talkin' about, the one that we can fortify and make a life for ourselves in, it's still out there somewhere. He lectures us about it so often it's as if he can't think about anything else, a dog with a bone dangling just in front of his nose.

I bet there's lots of food and medicine there. And even beds. Proper beds, with mattresses and everything.

Maybe even a little mat for Mouse.

Yeah. That would be ideal.

Nobody would die in a place like that.

I tear my gaze from Rick, turning it onto the one big cloud in the sky.

I still think about Shane, sometimes. It comes and goes. Most of the time, he's alive. We're sitting at the picnic table back on the farm, coloring a meadow of flowers together, and then there's an ebbing swash of time where something inside me hurts real bad like I've been shot, and then he's holding my hand in a forest because I'm scared. I'm showing him the frog I've caught, mirroring his grin.

Suddenly, none of the muscles in his face are working and he's looking at me with milky eyes.

I don't wanna shoot him.

Bringing my hand up to my locket, I squeeze the thousand-pound weight between my fingers.

The spot he's taken up in my brain was supposed to be mine, and so was Momma's, and Merle's, and everyone else's.

Even in death, as Andrea said, He's still a fucking asshole.

I wonder if she's still alive.

A girl went missing from our town, once. My Daddy was in the kitchen washing dishes while I watched her Momma cry on TV.

I didn't know Andrea too well, so all my tears are staying inside my face for now. It's not like it was with Sophia. No, we packed into our cars and we fucked off North to a place called Newnan, leaving everything, including her and any chance of finding her, behind.

A bit stupidly, I hope the cows made it out alright.

Then, a hand is waving over the sun.

Lifting my head, I realize it's Dad trying to get my attention.

'How are you?', he signs as I stuff the locket under my sweatshirt.

'Hungry. Tired.' The usual answer; then, 'Everything okay?'

'Yeah. Taking a break.'

'I think Rick wants to leave.'

As Dad eases himself onto the crate beside me, he sneaks a glance at him. 'He does. We were talking.'

The others must be reading our signs, 'cause Maggie butts in, talking with Dad for a minute. I wait 'til they're done.

'We need medicine,' I comment quite uselessly when his attention is back on me.

'That's right. And better shelter. This place is shitty.'

'Do you want to leave?'

'I want you to be safe and happy. So, yes.'

'Are we walking again?'

He makes a face. 'No. We're riding bicycles.'

'Funny, Dad.'

'He wants to head East. The next town is close. Nine miles. There's a hospital there. Might have medicine.' His hands slow down. They hover, unsure. When he picks one back up, he finger-spells the word, 'S-h-a-r-p-s-b-u-r-g.'

The blood in my neck rushes up into my cheeks, and for just a moment, I'm warm.

I wonder if her house still looks the same. With the gravel path leadin' up to the porch, lined with weeds before any of this even began. My bike chained to the wire fence, asking itself where the little girl that loves it has gone as it grows rustier every weekend that passes. The grass was always scratching my knees, wild and forgotten, a bit like me. We made the most of what we had.

I hope the mirror in her bedroom is broke. I hope the kitchen is rotted; loungeroom filthy.

It don't deserve to be the way it was before, 'cause ain't nothin' the way it was before. That was for us.

Dad is waiting for me to say something, but I got nothin'.

Being that close to that house again might just make me start believing' in ghosts, but we need to do it. For Lori.

'No choice.' I sign, plain and simple. 'We need to go.'

He studies me for a moment, torn on something, before nodding and rubbing his fist over his heart. 'Sorry.'

I shrug, playing with the pebbles of lint on my mittens.

I think about Momma, too. She weren't all that different from Shane, especially not in the end. Both were sick, but not in the way that Lori is sick, not with germs. Even now, I don't quite know if it'd be worse knowin' whether or not she turned and lost her mind one last time. At least in the picture in my locket, she ain't ever gonna turn. I'll keep her safe from everythin' outside her little bronze door.

'Forget about that.' Dad waves off the imaginary town, sneering. 'I'm going hunting. You coming?' 

I hear that right? Hunting?

All the rabbits are hiding at the bottom of their burrows at this time of year, the squirrels either dead or holed away. Even my Dad, the best hunter and tracker I know, who can shoot a field mouse out a tree, ain't been able to catch nothin' in this weather.

'You tried,' I remind him. 'Many, many times.'

'I know. But,' He nods over his shoulder, where Mouse is rolling around in the snow. 'Now we have help.'

Mouse. Of course.

Our last chance at catchin' a proper meal.

He reminds me of Tank a lil' bit, but smaller, whiter; with all four legs.

I'm willing to give it a chance. 'Okay. I'll come.'

Since we started to catch onto the fact that the cold slows the walkers down, we all been allowed out more.

A pat on my knee. 'Good girl. Let's go.'

He asks Glenn if he wants to come as well, and 'cause he got nothin' better to do and we make a good team, he agrees.

I'm inside a giant snow globe, waiting for the glass to break.

It was about a month ago now that I woke up one morning with my head in my hands, holed up in a gas station, crying snot and tears and dribble 'cause the ringing in my ear had turned unbearable. I didn't believe Herschel at first. My hearing couldn't deteriorate. I didn't even know what that word meant. But no matter what words I did or didn't know, their voices kept getting foggier and the ringing kept getting louder, until one day there was a pop beside my brain, a burst of pain, and then the world went silent. And then I believed him.

I was scared, at first. How could I hear a walker comin', now? Would I never hear my Dad say, I love you, again?

But it didn't take long for us to learn enough sign language to talk to each other, I love you, included. Nothin' would've stopped us. Maggie found a little ASL guidebook with pictures in it while we were passin' through a library. Go, Be quiet, Hide, Run, were the first words Dad made sure I knew. Good morning, Goodnight, and all the other things I'd wanna say. Thank you. Have mine. Fuck off.

Even now, whenever I wake up during the night, I always find one person studying the book, pages cradled by a flashlight.

As the three of us follow after Mouse, snow drifts through the thicket of naked branches like ash, catching winks of sunlight before they kiss the ground. It's hard to feel like I've lost anything when it snows. It's one thing that's always been silent. So have ripples in water, or a smile on a loved one's lips. I've made a place for myself in the silence, and I fit well here. Nobody else is allowed in my snow globe.

Glenn squeezes my mittened hand as I'm watching the falling snow, pulling my gaze up to his face.

With his free hand, he signs, 'Ringing?'

I shrug one shoulder, pinching my fingers. 'A little.'

It never really goes away. It's the one last thing I can hear, but I tune it out.

He attempts a smile, the curve of his cheekbones a raw shade of pink. 'Sorry.'

I always feel guilty when I have to answer that question. I'on know why. It ain't my fault.

'You always say sorry.'

'Sorry.'

Holding back a smile of my own, a real one, I ignore him in favor of watching the snow again.

The memory of that morning we had on the roof of the RV swells in front of me now, pretty and sun-colored, a cherry on my tongue. It was the mornin' after we found out I wasn't dying. I had a life. I had a chance to live it just like everybody else. Equals. Whenever I look at Glenn, I remember that morning. Happy and alive, with a group of our own. A friend. The first one in a long, long time.

When it's just the three of us like this, I always feel like I'm betraying Merle. It's a slimy feeling, one I force myself to swallow it down each time, but I ain't done nothin' wrong. I ain't replaced him on purpose. If I lie, I can say I ain't replaced him at all.

The worst part about it is that Glenn fits better into the void Merle left behind than Merle himself ever did.

My thoughts are interrupted when Dad puts an arm out in front of us.

I jolt, following his gaze.

Ahead of us, Mouse furiously investigates along an invisible trail at the end of his nose. He, too, goes still all at once. He's found something. We watch him square up with a lump in the snow, his tail an exclamation mark. Then there's a rabbit, a bite, a struggle. I squeeze Glenn as snow goes flying. Dad lifts his crossbow. A single bolt is released, and the rabbit is pinned to the ground by its heart.

It twitches around the bolt once, twice, tryna run away like all rabbits do, and then it goes limp.

That's our first kill in weeks.

'Dinner!', I exclaim to Glenn with both my hands, as Dad moves to pluck the bolt out, shaking off the snow.

A long, fat rabbit.

Dad was right. Mouse done spoiled us. Him bein' such a great hunter must be how he's survived this long. Everybody's got a reason. Mine is that I have people who love me, both dead and alive, who have fought tooth and nail to protect me every day.

Dad slings the rabbit over his shoulder, gesturing onwards. 'Let's keep going.'

Taking Glenn's hand again, I have a thought. 'Is his name Rabbit, now?'

He shakes his head, no, both of us falling into step with Dad and Mouse. 'It's Mini Daryl.'

Pssh. Whatever. 'Bad name.'

'Great name.'

I point side-long at Dad, as if saying, Go on, then. Tell him.

He cringes. 'No, thanks.'

'See? Bad name.'

'Are you bullying me?'

'Yep.'

Unamused, Dad gives us a look. 'I'm not blind. I can see your hands.' A pause; glance. 'She's right. Bad name.'

Like I always do when I'm giggling around Dad and Glenn, I say a silent, Sorry, Merle, because he's always been inside my head.

By the time we're walking back through the car yard gate, Mouse has caught us three more rabbits.

Beth's jaw drops.

'Dinner!', I sign to her, grinning, turning to sign the same thing to T and Rick who are stood on watch, their eyes going wide when they notice the bounty. I duck under the shutters and sign it to everyone else huddled in the garage, too. 'Dinner! Come on!'

They follow me out to the campfire, not wasting any time skewerin' and roasting the rabbits as the sun begins setting.

'Well done,' Maggie signs to the three of us, thoroughly impressed.

Dad nods to Mouse, as if to say, Thank him.

Thanks, Mouse, Everyone obliges, and even though he don't understand Human, he still grins his silly, gummy grin. I take a seat next to Dad on the wooden pallet, basking in the delicious smell of bubbling fat and the sight of my smiling family.

The moon is waning over our heads like a pretty marble, passin' through the stars, as we slurp up our greasy, mouth-watering rabbit meat. Even Lori has come out of hiding to enjoy the meal, her thin body curled up next to Rick in the broken car seats, shivering as she nibbles a meaty thigh. There's a bump under her blankets, right on top of her belly, that makes it look a bit like she's hiding my soccer ball under there. Really, it's the baby. Some nights, she lets me put my cheek to it so I can feel the heartbeat from the outside. It freaked me out at first. It's like she swallowed an alien. There's a tiny human in there, separated by only a few layers of skin. I hope it likes rabbit.

I know she needed this. I think we're all relieved to see her eating a good meal after all this time, something fatty and heavy, something to fill out her caved-in cheeks. If we're gonna leave for Sharpsburg at some stage, she'll need the energy. We all will.

Carol says that if it don't come out early, the baby's gonna be born in Spring. I've always thought of the seasons as a clock for huntin', just like my Daddy does. Summer's when all the coyotes come out, and you can stay out late 'cause the sun don't go down 'til after dinnertime. In Fall, the migratory birds start to fly over Georgia to reach warmer places further South. I've always liked watching the V shapes glide across the sky, wishing I could grow a pair of wings and join 'em up there. Spring is baby season. When everything gets born again, from the grass under the mud to the leaves inside the trees to the baby deer, called calves, inside they Momma's bellies.

Babies are good at bein' born in Spring, I told Carol when I could see a tick of worry in her brow, especially after Carl brought up naming the baby Sophia again, You'd think they's dumb, since they's babies an' all, but they know.

I's talkin' outta my ass a lil' bit, 'cause I was a baby once and I was born in Summer, but it made her feel better.

And then there's Winter. Everything's dead in Winter, except for the things that know how to hide.

Swallowing a juicy bite of rabbit, I glance at Mouse.

He lays at my Dad's boots in the snow, both of 'em gnawing away at their scraps of meat like long-time buddies.

Sucking the meat off the warm bone in my hand, I click my fingers to get the dog's attention. He perks up, craning his neck to look at me, his eyes bulging as I toss the bone in his direction as thanks. He catches it midair, crushing it between his teeth.

When my gaze meets Dad's, he gives me a thumbs up and a questioning look. 'Tasty?'

I nod, my own greasy thumb glistening in the light of the fire as I give him one back.

His lip twitches upward, as if he's about to smile, but then he remembers something. 'We're talking about leaving.'

Looking around, I see the whole group deep in conversation as they eat.

'What they saying?'

'Glenn thinks we should stay. He goes to Sharpsburg with T-Dog and they come back with medicine.' He tells me. 'But we can't split up. Dangerous. Could get lost. And we can't stay here. Cold. Not secure. Both; too risky.'

'So we all go.'

He nods, with not much else to say. We all go. 'We leave tomorrow.'

I don't remember voting for that decision, but things ain't worked like that in a long time.

Nine miles. That would be nothin' if we were a flock of birds. Birds can fly twenty-five miles an hour, don'cha know. I know lots of animal facts like that one. Whenever I can't sleep, I try and see how many I can remember until I'm blinking myself awake and the sun is rising. But we ain't birds, and we ain't even got the cars no more. I'on know how fast humans walk, but I guess I'll find out.

Pushing away my thoughts, I sign, 'It's kinda funny. We're surrounded by cars and none of them work.'

'This place is shitty,' He says for a second time, agreeing.

As we make our way through the meal, Dad, Glenn, and T-Dog keep forcin' their food into my hands. They act as if they can't see my signs telling them to save it for themselves, 'cause they're a bunch of assholes. I give up on changing their minds after a while, 'cause I've learnt it never works. Rick and Maggie do the same to Carl, Lori, and Herschel. We're all just a bunch of assholes who love each other.

That night, it's the same routine. Pull down the shutter doors. Tie a shirt through the padlock loop. Switch on the lamps.

I get comfortable in my pile of blankets that I share with Dad, digging through our bag. Wind rattles the garage walls, bullets of rain and hail battering the thin metal. For once, the rumbling of my stomach ain't here to join 'em. I pull out my journal and pencil, starting my ritual of shaving the wood away from the lead using Merle's knife, dwindling it down to the size of a used cigarette. Blowing the dust off, I sheathe my blade and flip to a page I can write on. Ain't no blank ones left, but I can squeeze what I wanna say into the gaps.

As everyone lays down, they keep clutching at their bellies like Lori does all the time, stuffed full of dinner.

Hello, diry, I write, 'cause Lori taught me how, Today was a grat day.

Mouse comes and inspects our blankets before plopping himself down next to me, resting his chin on his paws.

We faund a dog. I named him Mows becoz he kils mise and he is cyut. He caut for rabbits for us. He is my frend.

Dad lays down on my other side, giving my arm a squeeze and closing his eyes.

We are leeving again tomoro. Dad spelt it, Sharpsburg. My Muma uset to live ther but she is ded now. I wont to leev but also I dont. Im a bit scered. Dont tell nobode. At leest we are leeving the car yard befor it gets the chans to kil one of us.

As olways, Rest in peece, M, T, A, M, O, S, S, J, J, P.

I snap the book shut and place it back into the bag, zipping it up and rolling onto my back.

Dad throws a blanket over me as the wind blows in through the slash in the wall, pulling me into him with a strong arm.

Somebody clicks off the last lamp.

Squirrels can jump ten times their body length, I think to myself, focusing on the beat of Dad's heart and the warm weight of Mouse slumped against my legs, before I'm opening my eyes again and there's a band of cool sunlight on my face.

I watch a bird fly past the gap.

We never stay in one place for long.

I hover near the gate along with the rest of the group, clutching the straps of my backpack.

Lori got worse overnight.

I'm looking at her right now, as Rick peels off his coat and wraps it around her. Her face; it's paler than the snow, her nostrils two rings of puffy, red skin, leaking snot onto her lip. She wipes it away, fingers shaking. I almost want to tell Rick to call this whole thing off, but that would be stupid. The sky's cleared up some, making way for the sun. If we don't go now, we'll be stuck here forever.

Threading the last button through the loop, Rick turns and rallies all of us to follow him outta the car yard.

We file out into the open, a trail of footsteps carving a line through the snow.

Rick takes up the front of the line. Dad, the back. When wolves travel in packs, the two strongest of the group do this, too. This way, one can flatten the terrain for everyone else, while the other can keep an eye out, make sure nobody falls behind. That's why I'm in the middle, trailing behind Lori, Carl, and Herschel. We're the smallest and the weakest and the sickest, but I can still trace the treeline with my gaze and watch for danger, grabbing for the hilt of my knife every time a shrub shivers in the wind.

Mouse walks alongside us as we journey, 'cause I think he's decided he doesn't wanna be alone, anymore.

With every step I take, I find myself missing Dad's truck more and more. I know it was just a hunk of old, blue metal on two pairs of wheels, but it's still gone, and I still miss it like I'd miss a person. It's true that it'd been through its fair share of bumpy rides through the forest and countless tyre changes, but ain't nothin' short of an army tank would'a made it outta what happened to it in the end. They came out of nowhere, is how T tells it. We were cruising along the streets of a small town when a group of people jumped us. Way I tell it, they came out from behind some cars that were spilled out across the sidewalks. A gunshot. We veered, straight into the window of a store.

Dad and Rick killed those ones, too. Four people; two men, a woman, and a sorta-kid — A teenager.

I remember the boy's face. Caramel-colored with a nose that looked like a bird's beak, maybe a few years older than my cousin, Tobias, but people always said he had a baby's face. I couldn't figure out if they deserved it. They'd tried to rob us, a small group with two kids and a pregnant woman; our medicine, blankets, water. But back in the beginning, Dad and Merle did the same thing to other groups. Lone cars on the highway, pairs of people as they walked, sleeping camps. It was awful, but it was how we stayed alive.

There was this one night that Dad asked Merle if they should stop while he thought I was asleep.

We're doin' it for her, was all my Uncle had to say.

Every bad person I ever met probably had somebody they was doin' it for.

Their blood pooled onto the tarmac as our blue truck smoked, wedged between a scattering of debris and rubble. The men tried pushing it free for over an hour, but it was stuck there, well and truly. Eventually, we accepted we had to leave it behind.

After that, Rick's truck shut off one afternoon and refused to turn back on no matter what Glenn did to it.

We couldn't all fit into the grey car, or onto the back of Dad's motorbike, so that's how we were left with nothing.

Still, Dad swears up and down he's gonna go back for his bike as soon as he can, soon as we're settled someplace proper. He hid it real good and took the cylinder head with him, so there's a very good chance ain't nobody nabbing it before he can get back there. My Dad's a smartass like that. I think he'd sooner pull all his teeth out 'fore he lets somebody else have his precious bike.

On a little street sign just ahead of us that reads, Poplar, a tiny bird perches.

It chirps and flies off when we get close.

Poplar Street. Two miles down.

Herschel looks at me over his shoulder, his brows made even fluffier than usual by the snow that's gathered on them.

'Doing well?', He asks.

I nod, yes. My feet are achin', but I'm sure I ain't the only one. 'You? I have water if you need.'

'That's okay, sweetie. I'm not thirsty.'

I give him a bit of a stern look, one that Rick would be proud of, but he just turns to face forward again.

Hmph. I'm suddenly appreciating how the others must feel when I refuse their food. 

Glancing behind me, I extend the offer to Carl and Lori. When they accept — Well. When Carl accepts and forces Lori to do the same, — Dad alerts Rick, and guides us off the road, into a little eating area beside a kiosk station to take a break. I drop my backpack onto the seat of a wooden table and pull out my bottle of water. Lori and Carl sit down as I unscrew the cap and hand it to them, waiting for Carl to take a small sip first, holding it to his Momma's cracked lips after. Her neck gulps twice before he passes it back to me.

Most everyone else settles down at the other tables, catching their breaths.

Dad approaches the three of us. He points at the bottle with a no-nonsense expression. 'Drink that.'

I'm about to stash it, but do as he says. I am a little thirsty.

'How are you?'

'I'm okay.' I zip the empty bottle away. 'My feet hurt.'

'You can handle it.'

I nod. I can. 'You?'

'Feet hurt.'

'You can handle it.'

He huffs a chuckle. 'Don't be smart. I'm going to check the—.'

I follow his gesture over to the kiosk, nodding and taking the seat next to Carl.

The boy glances at me a couple times, as if it's hard to look at me, like how it's hard to look at the sun for too long before you start seein' shapes. He awkwardly points at my bag. Huh? He touches his fingers to his freckled chin, swiping forwards.

'Thank you.'

He knows how to sign?

All this time, I ain't seen him pick up the guidebook even once.

I ain't sure what to say, so I just nod until he looks away again, and then we're both just watching Mouse sniff the ground.

Boy, do the two of us know how to hold a grudge. Ever since our squabble that afternoon before Dale died, we been holdin' so tight onto 'em we ain't even know what to do with 'em anymore. You're a stupid baby, Harley. I hate your guts, Carl. I'm glad you're not my sister. I'm glad you ain't my brother. Stupid. That was months ago, now, and I might still be a stupid baby — I'll give him that — but I don't hate his guts. I just hate sayin' sorry. My teachers used to say bein' able to apologise is a life skill, but I never saw how it keeps ya alive.

Mustering up the courage to give it a go anyway, I sign to him, 'Back on the farm. I was just—.'

Wait. He's looking at me all confused. He don't understand.

I deflate, embarrassed. Never mind.

'Are you okay?', Beth signs to me from the other table.

'Yeah... My feet hurt.'

'Mine, too.' She sighs wistfully, her blonde hair flying around in the wind. 'We need a massage.'

It forces a giggle outta me. She makes me feel like such a girl, sometimes.

When Dad comes back, T-Dog in tow, it doesn't look like they found much in the way of food or water — Just what looks like a crumpled granola bar and a couple newspapers that we could prolly use to make a fire. Mysterious Infection Hits France, is one of their headlines, not even worthy of a bold font. Dad stuffs the little bar into Lori's coat pocket before he helps her stand from the bench, gently passing her off to Rick. He runs a hand up and down his wife's back, murmuring to her as I sling my backpack on and get to my feet.

I'm okay, I think she's assuring him, trying to brush him off.

Maggie shares a worried glance with Carol, then with Dad.

Before I know it, I'm walking over Rick's footprints again.

There's the river.

I saw it on the map, but it's bigger in person. It's not just a white strip of ink bent around laddering terrain lines. It's a flat, blue sheet of ice wedged between two frozen shorelines, snow scuffing over its surface as the wind pushes it around.

Like I said, I saw it on the map. That's why I know the only road that passes over it is miles away.

We're gonna have to cross it on foot.

'We need to be careful,' Rick turns to address us. He makes sure to sign as he speaks, very obviously struggling to match the volume of the wind. 'I'll go first. Make sure it's safe. Then, Harley, Lori, Carl, and Herschel. Then, the rest.'

There's no option for any of us to dispute the plan, so he goes ahead and nods to himself, sighing and turning toward the thick bank of snow. This is what Rick does. He risks his life, risks falling into rivers and freezing to death, 'cause he's got a few screws lose and he's brave, and some months ago, on the side of the road after our home burnt down, he told us, This isn't a democracy, anymore. I grab onto Dad's hand, squeezing it like a stress ball at the doctor's office before they stick the needle in ya arm, as our leader surfs down the hill.

Fringes of snow break off and roll down as he goes, eventually landing at the bottom.

Okay, I think I can see him mouthing to himself, Okay.

He takes his first step. He holds his arms out on either side of himself. Another step. Another; delicate, as if he's testing out whether or not he's gonna burn his feet, learning he won't, and then doing it all over again with the other foot.

When he reaches the other side, he pulls himself up onto the shelf of snow.

He plops onto his ass.

He made it.

When he realizes this, he raises his hand and waves us over.

I take a deep breath.

Harley, Lori, Carl, and Herschel, is what he said. Harley. I'm next.

'Go slow,' Dad signs to me, looking at me in a very serious way. 'Don't walk exactly where Rick walked. It could break.'

I nod, repeating his instructions in my head as I let go of his hand, forcing myself to approach the ledge.

Sitting down and sliding all the way to the bottom, I push myself to my feet, staring out onto the ice.

Oh, shit.

I swear it ain't look this far from up there.

'It's okay,' Rick's signing to me from across the river. 'You're light. You won't fall.'

'You promise?'

'I promise.'

Okay. Okay, I can do this.

I take my first step. Shit, it's slippery. I almost lose my balance, catching it right at the last moment. My gaze snaps back up to Rick. It's okay, He signs again. I look over my shoulder, where up on the hill, Dad signs the same thing. It's okay. It's like a tight rope. Taking care to mind the puddles of sleet sitting on the ice, I walk the rope one step at a time, water rushing underneath my boots.

When I'm close enough, Rick braces himself on one leg and reaches down for me, hooking his hands under my armpits. He lifts me onto the shelf of snow, setting me down beside him. I clutch his arms, my legs shaking. Oh, solid ground. It's never felt better.

Well done, He mouths, giving both my shoulders a firm squeeze before letting go.

Looking back at the other shoreline, I see a small Glenn and Maggie both sending me thumbs' ups.

'Proud of you, baby,' Dad is signing beside them, as Carol cups her own cheeks, relieved.

'I made it,' I reply, heart pounding.

'Yeah, you did. With sore feet, too.'

I wish I could let out a laugh, but I can't. Not yet.

Lori is next.

Lori, sick and frail, with the baby in her belly.

T-Dog slides down first and catches her when she reaches the bottom, holding her hands to steady her. She carefully steps onto the ice, alone. Her fingers leave T-Dog's. She's so skinny these days, I'm worried the wind might just knock her over. I feel Rick tense against me. Slowly, and cradling her belly, she ventures further out. There's a moment or two I think she might trip, but she makes it.

Rick pulls her up, and then it's Carl's turn; then Herschel's.

The four of us help the old man climb up onto the bank. The worst of it is over.

We wait for everybody else to cross. Glenn and Maggie set out next, keeping a good distance between them the whole way, before Beth makes her way down behind them, doing the same. Everyone calls out encouragement and praise, egging them on. One by one, we work together to pull them up. Glenn. Then, Maggie. Beth, who's shaking like a little lamb. And Mouse, who don't even need our help.

As Rick and Maggie pull Beth up, the last ones to begin their crossing are Dad, T-Dog, and Carol.

They're halfway across when Mouse starts barking.

A head appears over the hill behind them. Shoulders. A fleshy ribcage. It's a walker. An actual walker. It don't know where its goin', blindly trudging forward, skirting the ledge. It's gonna fall down. Everyone realizes this at the same time, suddenly pointing and shouting things. The three of them stop in their tracks. They turn to look behind them, just as the thing takes its next and final step. With no more ground to stand on, it falls head-first into the slope, tumbling, once, twice. It smacks into the ice, a cannon ball of limbs.

A line as thin as a hair shoots out from under its body.

A crack. The ice is cracking.

My body lurches as if I'm about to do something, about to climb down there and help, but we can't.

The only way we can help them is by staying off the ice.

The line grows longer and longer. It's under Dad's boot before he can even take a step. His chest heaves, staring down at it. Carol and T-Dog linger nearby, terrified, as if any flinch or gasp from them will send them all under. He pulls his crossbow off his shoulder. I'm not sure if he's about to shoot the walker, or maybe ditch the bow to lessen his bodyweight, but he don't get to do either.

His leg goes straight through the ice.

He falls onto his forearms. His weight splits the line into three; snaps the surface into pieces.

SPLASH.

Both he and Carol are suddenly neck-deep in the water.

I think I squeal a little bit, 'cause I feel it in my throat.

The walker lifts its head.

T-Dog looks back at us, shouting and holding his hand out. He wants something. Rick catches his meanin', unholstering his pistol and rearing it back, hurling it as far as he can over the river. T-Dog told us he used to be the best player on his baseball team in high school, so he catches it with one hand, pulling the slide back to check the chamber. I guess we can stop callin' him a liar, now.

The walker drags itself forward, clawing marks into the ice.

Dad reaches under the water, teeth bared, face scrunched, hauling his crossbow out and slinging it across the ice.

It spins across the slippery surface, coming to an eventual stop someplace that don't matter anybody.

T-Dog raises the gun.

He pulls the trigger.

There's a flash of light, and at the same time, a spurt of black blood.

As soon as the walker is dead, he takes a step toward, but Dad shouts at him and he stops.

Water goes flying as he grabs for purchase, setting his elbow on the ice. He puts his weight on it. The ice crumbles like a cookie. He tries again, this time keeping his body as flat as he can, and manages to pull himself up onto his stomach.

I can only imagine how much it hurts, but he pushes through it, army-crawling over to Carol.

They lock hands.

With what little strength he has left, he drags her out, too, letting her collapse beside him.

They both lay there, the wind blowing over their bodies as they struggle to suck in a full breath, curled up like shrimps.

T-Dog wastes no time. He teeters and slips around on the sleet as he kneels, grabbing a fistful of their coats and pulling them further away from the broken ice. They're not moving. It's like they've turned into the frozen walkers, their joints all locked up from the cold, unable to hinge. T-Dog gets Carol to her feet first. As Rick, Glenn, and Maggie hurry down to the shoreline, I follow after them and grab onto Carol the moment she's within arm's reach. We all help pull her up, as T-Dog spins around, waddling back to Dad.

Carol's legs give out. Her body lands in the snow, her arms wrapping around her stomach.

Over her hip, I watch as T-Dog, strong as an ox, gets all one-hundred-and-ninety pounds of my Dad to his feet.

When they reach the bank, we all grab for him.

Even through the layers of fabric, I can feel the deadly cold seeped all the way through his skin. As we lay him in the snow, he winces, his hair frozen stiff and his cheekbones redder'un cherry popsicles. I cup them with my mittened hands, crouching at his side.

I'm grateful I can't hear any of the panicking around me.

I just hold him, waiting for him to open his eyes.

When he does, they're blue, like the river.

Then, Rick and Glenn are pulling him up. I give them space, letting 'em hook each of his arms around their shoulders. Maggie and Beth follow suit and with Carol, hugging their arms around her waist, frantically looking for direction from our leader. He points. We all follow his finger. There's a couple tiny buildings just up the road, not too far. That's where we're going. We need to get Dad and Carol warm. We start making our way over there without a second thought, bracing ourselves against the snow coming down on us, now.

We reach the yellow security barriers. Carl helps me force them upwards, letting everybody through. It looks like this place was a ticket and security checkpoint. There's two little booths, the windows smeared with old blood, and a bigger building in the middle. Rick kicks that one's door in, making way for us to spill inside the kitchen-sized room, as they set Dad down on a dirty bed in the corner.

The two girls gently lower Carol down next to him, helping her peel off her wet clothes.

Taking Dad's coat zipper in my fingers, I rip it all the way down and pull him out of it, quickly doing the same with his shirt.

Rick casts about. He spots a wastebin in the corner of the room and moves it to the middle, taking the newspapers that T-Dog is offering him from his backpack. Glenn passes him a lighter as he stuffs it down. Flick, flick. He cups it; holds it there.

It catches.

—hould be contained within a week, according to the French Health Ambas—, it reads, before curling around the flame.

As warmth begins to emanate, I move down to Dad's boots, unlacing them, tossing them away with his socks. He's left in just his jeans, with barely enough energy to hold his hands out to the steadily burning pages of the Washington Post.

Taking off my own coat and cuddling up to his side, I hope I can give him some of my body heat. I don't have much of it, but I don't need it all. I'm happy to share it. Already, he looks a little less awful just by being outta the wind. Carol has been stripped down to her bra and cargo pants, shivering as Maggie fits her into a spare sweatshirt. Pulling my beanie off, I fit it onto Dad's head. He looks silly. Shirtless with his edgy tattoos on display, wearing his daughter's pink hat. When Maggie passes me another sweatshirt, I help dress him in that, too.

As I work, T-Dog approaches us, setting the crossbow against the wall.

A pearl of water drips off the end of Dad's nose as the man leaves.

I study him, feeling guilty. 'I wanted to help.'

He frowns at me.

I add nothing more. There was nothing any of us could do, but I still wanted him to know.

Everyone finally settles around the tiny fire, absorbing every last ounce of heat it has to offer.

Rick signs to me, 'We can stay the night.'

'Thank you,' I nod.

As he moves his attention elsewhere, I sneak a glance at Lori.

She's coughing. A yellow glob falls into her hand, before she wipes it on some newspaper. I know that ain't good.

We stay like this for a while. The only way to tell that time is passing at all is every minute or so, when someone adds a fresh wad of newspaper to the fire to keep it alight. Paper burns fast, but it also creates a lotta smoke. We eventually have to open all the windows to let it out, which in turn lets the cold in, but our only other choice is to suffocate to death. Ain't nobody in the mood for that.

Once Dad and Carol have both fallen asleep, I take out the little ASL handbook from my bag, scooting back to sit against the wall. I might as well get some studyin' in, if we ain't leaving for a while. I rest it in the crook of my thighs, flipping to a dog-eared page.

To sign, IMAGINATION, it reads, Start by extending both pinkies.

The little hands in the picture look like they's holdin' invisible teacups, so copy them, and it's easy enough.

To sign, OPINION, the picture directly below it reads, Start by creating a circle shape with one hand.

A kick to the bed frame.

Startled, I look up at the attacker.

It's Carl.

He points to the empty spot next to me. I ain't got any real reason to decline, so I give a nod, making a little extra room for him as he settles down at my side, only to do nothin' but fiddle with his fingers in his lap. I can't ask him what he wants.

Suddenly, he takes the book from me, thumbing through the alphabetical section.

He stops when he reaches S, studying the first picture on the page.

To sign, SORRY, it reads, Start by forming a fist.

My eyes go wide, watching the boy do as it says. Place it over your heart, making a grinding motion. He glances at me, silently asking if he's doing it right. He's not, obviously. You ain't s'posed to leave a bruise. But I get the message loud and clear all the same. He's sorry. Maybe for calling me a stupid baby, or for telling me that even though I know what a chantrelle mushroom is and I can shoot a gun, I still ain't worth nothin' without somebody else around to watch out for me; him around. Or maybe just for what happened at the river.

Before I can decide which one it is, he gets to flippin' again, finding what he wants at E.

He blanches. Got more than he bargained for with this one.

Still, he gives it a go.

It's slightly wrong again, but there's only one sign I know that looks like that.

'Everything.'

He stares at me, boyishly unsure, not looking very much like his Dad anymore like he wishes he did.

You don't need to be sorry, I'd sign to him if he could understand, You were right. I do need help, sometimes.

'Me, too,' I sign instead, reaching over and flipping to the page with the same phrase, and signing it again.

He glances from my hands, to the page, back to my hands again. I'm sorry, too. I think that's all we need to say, but I'll still add this last bit on, anyway. Word by word, I use the book to translate. It's obvious we could use my diary and pencil to write messages to each other. It'd be easier, but easier don't feel right. Anybody can do that. It's only the special ones that will learn your language.

When the sentence is complete, I rest my hands in my lap, watching his face for a reaction.

'You're my brother.'

He's stunned for a moment, and it's a long moment.

But then there's a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Carl is my big brother, and that's just the way things is. It ain't my fault we're in this little family together, that we've seen people die together, been scared and hurt together, that he let me cry on his shoulder one night and never mentioned it again.

He consults the book one last time before lookin' me in the eye, signing back, 'You're my sister.'

Always have been.

When I jokingly flip to the page that reads, To sign, I LOVE YOU, he snaps the book closed. A genuinely disgusted expression plagues his face, looking like he's just eaten rotten broccoli. It makes me forget all about how cold I am as he gets up and walks away.

It's nighttime when I open my eyes.

Lifting my cheek from Dad's shoulder, a yawn parts my lips. The sight of the moon peeking over the windowsill greets me, glass pulsing a faint orange as the fire in the wastebin burns nearby. I can see Rick out there, hugging himself next to a little light.

Scooting off the mattress, the guidebook falls from my lap.

I pull on my socks and boots. I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep, anyway.

I remember in the Winter, when it was time to get dressed for school and work, Dad used to lay our clothes over the electric heater that we always had plugged into our living room wall. We'd make a game of it, pretending we were cooking steaks over a grill while the sky turned from black to grey, to white, to blue. His boss at the mechanic's shop had him startin' his shifts at six in the morning, while Merle and everyone else in our trailer park was still asleep in their beds. It was unfair, but he always found ways to make sure I never found out.

Grabbing a stick of newspaper, I stand and tip-toe my way through everyone sleeping on the floor.

When I open the door, I shoulder myself into the cold and step out.

It closes behind me.

In the middle of the outstretched road, Rick sits with his back to everything, staring up at the stars.

I wonder if he's got a person up there, just like I do.

As I come to sit beside him, he lowers his gaze; regards me with an empty sort of look.

I don't mind it none, instead opting to study the creative setup in front of us. A metal cooking pot filled with damp sticks, a small flame flickering amongst the ash and dirt at the bottom. I take the paper in my lap and ball some up, tucking it into the pot.

'I thought you might be cold,' I explain as the flames grab onto it, growing larger. 'Your fire sucked.'

He doesn't smile; lips heavy, downturned.

I sign something else. 'Why are you out here?'

'Can't sleep.'

Well, I guessed that. 'Are you okay?'

A sigh leaves his body, sucked into the wind. He's not going to answer that. 'You should go inside.'

'I'm not tired.'

'Doesn't matter. Come on.' He moves as if to stand, holding a hand out for me to take, but I cross my arms over my chest and stay right where I am. He tries waiting me out, but it's useless. Settling down again, he hesitates before signing, 'Stubborn.'

Unfolding my arms, I finally get him to crack a smile as I sign, 'I know.'

It's wiped away when he flinches uncomfortably at something.

'Was there a noise?', I guess, confused.

The horizon gapes emptily at us from afar, a black stripe. I can't see anything unusual.

'Lori.' He supplies, defeated. 'She's coughing.'

A soft, oh, slips from my mouth.

'It's why I'm out here.'

The only thing I can think of to say is, 'She'll be okay.'

It's not much, but Rick still reaches out and takes my shoulder, attempting a smile before dropping his hand.

I'm on the side of the road again, the trees looming over me, tucked between old cobble walls as the farm sits some miles away, whatever that's left of it burning to a crisp. The door is there, is what he snarled at us. Let's see how far you get. The world was an open set of jaws in that moment. While I'm almost certain Dad and I would've made it, because like T says, we're cockroaches, I don't know for sure if the rest of the group would have, if Beth, Herschel, and Carol would have. We've been together since... Everything.

But I do know that we chose Rick, and he chose us. I would say it's like this thing called symbiosis, which I learnt about in second grade. But it's not. My teacher told us that without the egrets and the anemone and the sucker fish, the cattle and the clown fish and the sharks would die. They can't make it alone. But we ain't a family because we'd die otherwise.

We're family because Dale had this stupid old watch while he was still alive, and he said that despite everything, our paths aligned at the quarry all the same, and then I got scratched and a whole bunch of awful stuff happened, like explosions and gunshots and broken fences, and we blinked, and now we love each other so deeply we don't care if we could survive apart.

'You're doing a good job, Rick,' I sign.

It might be the fire, but his eyes go shiny afterwards. Yeah. I'll pretend it's the fire.

He got us to the CDC. Got us out. Killed Sophia. Jim. His best friend, just a few days later. Those four people on the road.

He touches his chin. 'Thank you.'

I can tell he doesn't believe me. M, T, A, M, O, S, S, J, J, P. I don't know how else to convince him. Maybe I can't.

Absentmindedly watching the fire dance, I clutch the locket through my sweatshirt.

'What is that?', Rick asks.

Thinking nothing of it, I pull the thing free, letting it sit against my sternum. 'Shane gave it to me.'

Something about Rick twists at the mention of Shane, making its way onto his face like a curling snake, a nasty scowl. He holds his hand out, wanting to hold it. A little unsure, I thread the chain over my head and carefully lay the pendant in his palm.

Bringing it closer to his lap, he glares down at the olive of metal as if it's his best friend reincarnated.

'When we were at the gas station,' I tell him, trying not to remember the blood, 'We argued. He gave it to me after.'

The BANG, the spike of blood, his arms shielding his face as he lay on the floor.

I think... I think I don't like this.

'Can I have it back now?'

His grip turns white.

Feeling a bit like I'm interrupting something that should be private, I don't bother asking again, just reaching ou—

My hand is knocked away. He rears his arm back — Oh, God. My heart, going cold as the snow. — and throws the locket into the fire. It disappears beneath the flames. I exclaim something, a half-word or maybe a shriek, like I've been burned at the same time as the brown thrasher and the photo of my Momma inside. My hands shoot out all on their own to grab for it, but I reel them back in.

I need to— I need to put the fire out. I've gotta smother it with something.

Frantically starting to scoop up handfuls of the snow around us, I think Rick realizes he's made a terrible mistake. He seems to wake up, pushing himself to his feet to try and help me save it, grabbing more, more, and more snow, dumping it onto the fire.

The light goes out all at once, smoke trailing up into the air, a dreadful, blackened smell.

He claws through the pot, wincing as he touches the metal, pulling out the locket.

When he thumbs the door open, the photo is nothing but a stain of soot.

I stand there, too big to fit inside my skin, my everything shaking with a different type of horror.

It's gone.

Rick stares at me, the smoke blowing past him.

My snow globe bulges in all directions like a pulsing heart, silent as ever. The door to the staff room opens over Rick's shoulder, my Dad hugging himself as he steps out. I was supposed to look after her. She was supposed to be safe in there. He's spewing apologies before my Dad even understands what's happened, but he catches on quick. The thing in his hand is my locket. It's ruined.

You did this?, I think he's needling him, or sum' like it. The Hell is wrong wit'chu?

Rick's shaking his head, cradling it like it's a pile of bones he can put back together. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Just give it back!, I demand.

It's the first time I've tried to speak aloud since losing my hearing, the syllables an awkward tar in my teeth.

I snatch the locket from his grasp, giving the pot a hard kick before storming away.

SLAM.

It wakes everyone up, but I can apologise later, 'cause right now I'm throwing myself onto the mattress and pulling the blanket over my head, sealing myself away from them all. This ain't the farm. I can't just hide away in a tent somewhere, or take a breather in one of the paddocks. I'm stuck in this stuffy room, where I know I'm being stared at even through the blanket. I know how to ignore it.

The locket is a hot coal in my hands, illuminating the dark pocket as the last of the photo smoulders.

A long while passes.

Then, somebody's sittin' down next to me.

They don't move for a long while, just a comforting heat at my side.

Then they lift the blanket up, and it's Dad, pulling it over his head so we're both hiding under it.

'She's gone,' I fill him in before he can ask, just in case he ain't already know. For real, this time.

He saw. 'I know.'

'It was Rick.'

A pause. 'I know.'

'Did you punch him?'

'Did you want me to?'

I think about it for a moment, tracing the smear inside the locket door, before shaking my head. 'No.'

I know it's stupid. It's just a photo, but it was the only one I had. I won't be able to see her face whenever the feeling strikes anymore, or if I find myself missing her more than usual. I'm already committing the photo to memory so I don't forget her face.

'He said Shane gave it to you.' He signs, more of a musing than an accusation. 'I didn't know that.'

I never told him where I got the locket. It could've been from Beth, Maggie, Lori. Anyone but Shane.

No point lying, now. 'Well, now you do.'

'Why did you keep it?'

I don't know. 'I missed him.'

He fails to say anything for a minute or two, but then he picks his hands up again. 'Do you still miss him?'

You're allowed, Carl muttered into my shoulder that night.

'Yeah.'

'You know he was a piece of shit, don't you? '

I scoff through my nose. That ain't even the half of it. 'Yeah. I know.'

He eyes the locket, as if wanting to take it away from me.

My fingers curl around it protectively, holding it to my chest.

It's mine. He's gonna have to fight me for it.

He studies my face for a while, but we both know he's not gonna fight me. No. Instead, he pulls the blanket down, tucking it around my shoulders. I force out a sigh and rest my head on his chest, feeling him stroke his thumb up and down the slope of my cheek.

After the rest of the group see I'm more or less alright, they lay their heads back down.

The window sits there, pulsing orange.

Both the moon and Rick are exactly where they were before. He's back to consulting the stars, this time, without the light.

Author's Note.

So, I've obviously decided to spend a little more time with the group before we reach the prison. I'm anxious to get us to season three, but I just felt like there's some story beats left over from the farm that could use their own space. I hope you enjoyed it! :)

Heads up - You can expect only one more Winter chapter after this one.

Please let me know what you think of the new dialogue format, with everyone using sign language now. It's not permanent, seeing as Harley will have her hearing aids back once the weather gets warmer, but she's still 95% deaf and will rely on ASL most of the time.

It was a bit of a bold move to fully lean into Harley's disability, but in my opinion, it was the only natural progression. I did a bit of googling, and to the best of my knowledge, everything here is anatomically realistic and accurate. Oh, and so is all the ASL! :)

However, there isn't actually a river separating Newnan and Sharpsburg... Shhhh! ;)

One last thing. This story's playlist has gotten quite a lot bigger. Check it out!

I'll be working hard on the next chapter! Thanks for reading 💙

[ohdearlingwhathappened]

Chapter 3 Kid x Reader x Killer- And then there were two

Chapter 3- Is that all this was

Content Warning: Angst, Hurt no comfort, there will eventually be comfort- you just ain't gonna find it here, Kid is a warning himself soooo

Chapter 1- Is that all this was?, Chapter 2

I am so sorry for how long this took me. I was recently in a car accident, and with college starting back up and my new job, I think my brain was pretty much melted. I'm hoping I'll be able to get back into a normal writing schedule, so fingers crossed. In the meantime- Enjoy the new Chapter!

A bright light streaming in from Kid’s cabin window found its mark on his face, bringing him out of his less than restful sleep. The man brings his arm over his face, not ready to go out and start his day, but it seems his movement and the sound of the bustling crew up above was enough to draw him even further away from sleep’s alluring grasp.

Groaning out a small string of expletives, the arm covering his face lowers and drags the hand down his face. Waking up alone made the whole ‘waking up' thing a lot harder than he remembered it being- he was much more used to slinging an arm over another body to stall or having one of two people gently rousing him. This morning’s experience just adds yet another drop of regret for Kid’s words from yesterday.

Regardless of his difficulty getting out of the bed, Kid forces himself to roll out of bed- quite literally- and gets dressed for the day. Now that he was a little more aware of his surroundings, the fact that enough of his crew was on deck to cause a bit of commotion gave him some pause. They have been at the safehouse for a couple of days now, so Kid is a little surprised more people aren’t on the shore celebrating being on land again. 

Going up the stairs to get to the main deck, Kid opens up the door only to bump into the last person who would want to see him at the moment. “Ah… Good morning, Captain. I take it you slept well since it’s well past noon, and this is the first anyone has seen of you today.” The tone was unfamiliar and- while not cold- it wasn’t exactly a warm greeting either.

“I actually slept like shit. Couldn’t get comfortable with all the room I’m not used to.” Kid grunts out with a hint of defensiveness, refusing to look away, no matter how much he wants to. Y/n’s shoulders tensed and they clenched their jaw.

“Well, not to worry, Captain. I’m sure you’ll be able to get someone to warm your bed soon enough. If you’re lucky, they won’t jump to any unsavory conclusions.” Never afraid to get to the point and be cutthroat about it- there’s a reason why Y/n fit in with the Kid Pirates so well. The sardonic smile loosely held on their face and biting tone would make just about anyone flinch, and though it was brief and minute, Kid was no exception.

“Y/n-”

“Now, if you’d be oh so kind to get out of my way, I have more duties to fulfill to do my part on this ship. After all, I haven’t proven myself to be worthy of this crew yet, right?” With that, they push past the broad-shouldered man and begin to make their way downstairs. Until, that is, a hand wraps around their bicep to stop them.

“Would you let me speak, Damnit?!”

“I think you said enough yesterday, Eustass.” Y/n’s tone was now frigid, leaving no room for argument. “Besides, you have your ever-important alliance meeting soon- you don’t have time to chat with the likes of me.” With that, they yank their arm from Kid’s grasp and stomps downstairs, waiting until they know he isn’t going to follow to let the tears they’ve been fighting to finally glide down their face.

Kid, not expecting to have this kind of conversation with Y/n this soon, heaves out a sigh before steeling himself and walking out on deck. The crew appeared to be hard at work, cleaning the deck and making sure any valuables were being stocked away to be put under deck. Wire passes by his captain but stops once he sees the confused look on Kid’s face.

“Y/n thought it would be a good idea to clean up for our… guests. They’ve been a bit on edge- probably just nervous about the meeting with Apoo and Hawkins.” Once he finishes filling Kid in, Wire goes back to helping the rest of the crew out. 

There are still a few more hours before the meeting was to begin, so Kid decided to help with a couple of boxes before going into the safe house to work on his side of the negotiations. Killer had helped him set up the parameters of the agreement, to start him off but has most likely left him to his devices after yesterday’s events. The massacre killer would most likely come around to notify him of the incoming ships and will probably stay throughout the meeting to ensure no bloodshed erupts from Kid’s less-than-appealing temper.

This alliance has to go well. 

*      *       *      *      *      *      *

“I can’t do it, Kil.” Y/n sighs, their head resting on his chest and arms wrapped loosely around his waist. “Everytime I look at him I feel like I’m going to implode. I’m so angry, but I love him and want to forgive him, but he hasn’t even said sorry. One second I want to punch him, the next I want to cry and have him comfort me… What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You’re hurting.” Killer’s left hand is placed atop their head, his right is wrapped around the back of their shoulders, keeping them close.

“You were dragged into this, and I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to pick sides between your par- whatever we all are.” Y/n cutting themself off from calling them lovers cut both of them. And despite having no more tears to shed, they hiccup- grieving the relationship that apparently never existed in the first place.

“Look at me-” Killer, holds their chin to bring their eyes to meet his mask, “I love you. You are my partner. And no matter what he says, Kid does too- his head is just too far up his own ass.”

It wasn’t the first time Killer had said he loved them, but it wasn’t a common occurrence and every time made Y/n smile.

“I love you too, Killer,” They took his mask-clad head in their hands and brought it down to place a kiss on his forehead, and then resting their own against his. “But I can’t stay. Not right now.”

Killer stiffened and breathed out a heavy sigh. “Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know quite yet. I just need time and space away from him.”

Killer doesn’t respond. While he understands their need to go, he can’t help but to worry about their safety- this is the New World, not the South Blue. His hold tightens around Y/n, knowing this could be the last time he gets to do this for a while. “I get it. But please, be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me- I’ll be totally fine. Look, if his plans stay the same, you all should pass by Wano within the next month- and no matter what, I promise you to come back. Nothing will get in my way.”

The usually stoic man had a slight tremble to his frame, never loosening his grip around one of the two most important people in his life, despite feeling like they’re slipping through his fingers. “You better.”

“Promise me you’ll stay safe too.”

“I swear.”

“And make sure that moron doesn’t do anything stupid either. Ok?”

“That’s a big ask, little one, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Kil.” 

With their conversation having come to an end, they both stand there, soaking in each others’ warmth and touch, for a few more moments before Y/n pulls away, kisses his mask once more, and makes their way out of the small cabin- leaving Killer alone, wondering how things could have gone this wrong in not even 48 hours.

Taglist: @claxdoesntknow @teddyitalia @baelien-queen @heilee @iamn1ya @gnarlycrys

[tg-pilled]

Tokyo Ghoul Characters as MCR songs

This is for shits and giggles, please don't take this too serious. I originally wanted to cover Every album and compare Every song to a character from each album and then realized nobody cares that deeply so here is a brief version!

Kaneki - Famous Last Words - "Can you see my eyes are shining bright? 'Cause I'm out here on the other side of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak. Is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete?"

Haise - AMBULANCE - "And we will wear our masks again, out after dark, 'cause we are up for everything it takes, and we are not the same."

Ginshi - Cancer - "But counting down the days to go, it just ain't living, and I just hope you know that if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true because the hardest part of this is leaving you."

Urie - Sleep - "Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy, 'cause there ain't no way I'm sorry for what I did."

Mutsuki - DESTROYA - "With duct-tape scars on my honey, they don't like who you are. You won't like where we'll go, brother, protect me now."

Saiko - The Kids from Yesterday - "All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate. They only care if you can bleed. Does the television make you feel the pills you ate or every person that you need to be?"

Arima - The Foundations of Decay - "Let the flesh submit itself to gravity. Let our bodies lay, mark our hearts with shame. Let our blood in vain, you find God in pain. Now if your convictions were a passing phase, may your ashes feed the river in the morning rays. And as the vermin crawls we lay in the foundations of decay."

Hide - The World is Ugly - "These are their hearts, but their hearts don't beat like ours. They burn 'cause they are all afraid. But mine beats twice as hard, 'cause the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me."

Touka - The Ghost of You - "At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies, she dies. At the end of the world, or the last thing I see, you are never coming home."

Hinami - Cemetary Drive - "If you want, I'll keep on crying. Did you get what you deserve? Is this what you always want me for? I miss you."

Ayato - Thank You for the Venom - "I keep a gun in the book you gave me. Hallelujah, lock and load. Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son."

Nishiki - The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You - "Gaze into her killing jar, I'd sometimes stare for hours. She even poked the holes so I can breathe."

Eto - Give 'Em Hell Kid - "Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say. We are young and we don't care. Your dreams and your hopeless hair. We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives."

Naki - The Only Hope for Me is You - "Because you're the only hope for me. And if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own."

Takizawa - House of Wolves - "Tell me I'm an angel, take this to my grave. Tell me I'm a bad man, kick me like a stray."

Tsukiyama - Romance - There's no lyrics but the vibe is *chefs kiss*

Uta - I Never Told You What I Do for a Living - "It ain't the money and it sure as hell ain't just for the fame, it's for the bodies I claim and lose. Only go so far 'til you bury them so deep and down we go, down."

Renji - Headfirst for Halos - "And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust, just think happy thoughts, and we'll fly home."

Juuzou - Mama - "Well, mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue. You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son."

Rize - Our Lady of Sorrows - "We could be perfect lovers one last night, and die like star-crossed lovers when we fight."

Akira - Skylines and Turnstiles - "We walk in single file. We light our rails and punch our time. Ride escalators colder than a cell. The broken city-sky, like butane on my skin, stolen from my eyes."

Amon - Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back - "For all of us who've seen the light, salute the dead and lead the fight. Who gives a damn if we lose the war? Let the walls come down, let the engines roar."

Feel free to add your own interpretations but these are songs that I think relate to the characters! :)

[bitchkay]

Rating: Explicit (18+ mdni)

Rio asked to marry you during sex.

Well I wouldn't say asked, more so begged.

Pretty much heat of the moment and very embarrassed realizing what he said, but he doesn't go back on it still very passionate about seeing you as his spouse.

Who knew good pussy could make a man so honest with himself.

He was going in on you (as he often does, for a man who's usually oblivious to hints hes good as hell at sex and quite passionate at it too) holding your legs apart, whispering sweet nothings against your lips as he kissed you not wanting to be separated from you for even a moment.

Rio knew for a long time he wanted to spend his life with you often getting ahead of himself sometimes but ultimately moved at a pace suitable for you and enjoyed going through the length of your relationship with nothing but love in his heart. However more recently hes been thinking of popping the big question more seriously and giving it some real thought.

"Ohh~ Rio! I love you so much~ don't let go of me~" you wrapped your arms around his shoulders hugging him tightly as his hips thrusted relentlessly against yours.

Although clearly he wasn't thinking straight right now.

"Sunbeam! My sunbeam... my beautiful..." Rio groaned out your name over and over sinking his teeth into your skin marking your neck with his love bites. He was seeing stars, he wished to have you for the rest of his days.

Wrapping your legs around his narrow waist you threw your head back a loud moan escaping your mouth, your nails digging into Rios back as he hit that one spot inside you, that spot that had you clamping down on him and desperate to cum.

"Oh! Ohh!"

"Oh~ creator... my beloved... my beloved sunbeam..."

"My Rio... you're too good to me~"

"Oh sunbeam, say you'll be with me forever, say you'll be mine for all my days."

His eyes with squeezed shut, his head tucked into the crook of your neck as he worked you both towards climax.

"I'm all yours sweetheart~"

Rio choked on his words, holding you tight as he snapped into you, his dick twitched within you, trying to hold himself back from blowing his load before you. You panted in his ear, drunk of the feeling that's so pruely Rio, a feeling only he can give you as he plunged into the deepest crevices of your body, carving himself a spot in your body, in your heart just for him, only for him.

"I love you so much~"

"Marry me. Marry me. Please marry me," Rio whined into your neck rutting into you desperately. Not even you had fully processed what he just said, just tipped on the edge of your orgasm.

"Rio! Mmm!"

"I-I need you to be my wife... I want to be your husband... marry me please"

He was half delirious and oosing with his love for you like his cock oosed pre, slicking up your walls.

"Im-! I'm so close oh my god!"

"I'm gonna--!"

One last thrust had you both cumming, moaning into eachother skin as you clung to each other, limbs wrapping around each other like you were meant to intermingle like this.

"Mmm... my beautiful... beautiful girl..."

Post nut clarity is a bitch ain't it

While he hid his face Rio still couldn't help but let his love for you flow, not daring to let go of you as if you'd disappeared if you did.

"Rio?"

He forfeited an answer instead holding you tighter in his big arm, his head buried in your neck.

"Look at me please."

"No thank you."

The man was embarrassed, you could feel the heat radiating off his face against your neck. He wasn't going to take it back, god no! He wanted to scream it to the heavens if anything, put a ring on your finger on the spot out of all options.

But that wasn't really suposed to come out while he's balls deep inside you. He didn't even properly ask! He didn't ask at all!

"Not even if you'll hear my answer?"

"Answer?"

"Yes- well my answer is yes but yeah I'll answer you with- you know what I mean."

Rio rose his head from your neck, red in the face and pout on his lips.

"Did you think I wouldn't marry you or something?" You placed your hands on his face thumbing his cheeks soothingly.

"It's pathetic. Begging for your hand in marriage in the middle of making love is not exactly how I planned to propose. I don't have a ring and I sounded like a whining canine in heat."

"And that doesn't change my answer. I'm saying yes."

"Not yet! Let me do it properly!"

"I'll still say yes."

Rio pouted some more unsatisfied with his unplanned proposal but loving you all while knowing you'll love him unconditionally.

"Um Rio?"

"Yes Sunbeam?"

"Did you just get hard again?"

[waddingham]

not to just leave my fic brain worms out in the open like this for god and all to see but if anyone wants 900 words that are a direct result of whatever the fuck THIS is.........come and get it

He loves a team bus. Win or lose – or draw – it's an exceptional feeling, almost tangible, to be a part of something right alongside two dozen other people. There's no mistaking the sense of being so fully in the same boat with everyone else, feeling the same things and supporting each other in the reach for success, however it may come, whatever it may manifest as.

Today it was a light-hearted feeling – they'd won, spirits are high, Beard even higher and, well…

Somehow they got Rebecca today, blessing them all with her presence, her humor, her sweet voice. It had circled them in the back of the noisy bus and he couldn't help but nod along as he made an attempt on Sharon's advice, writing out his thoughts, his feelings, all the while marveling at the clarity of Rebecca's voice even as she slouched into the seat.

It was a long trip – for her especially, he thinks wryly, so it's no wonder at all that she's long asleep by the time they roll up to the dark club.

He does wonder a little at her choice of pillow. Has been ever since she slid back into the corner next to him, legs out long and head tipped onto his shoulder.

"Let's see how good a pillow you make, Coach," she'd muttered and by God, if he didn't make himself the best damn pillow this side of the Atlantic.

He hadn't moved chatting with Beard, or fiddling with his phone, or going over his notes again. And when the bus started to dim bit by bit, Beard passing out and Greyhounds falling asleep, he'd just tipped his head back, breathing in whatever lovely floral scent follows her around and letting all the safety and comfort around him relax his tired body.

He's safe here. He's content here, in these moments in the dark bus with his team, with Rebecca at his side, listening to the intermittent rain tap the roof. And he relishes each one, each moment, knowing the next may be bereft of this peace.

Beard snaps up as soon as the brakes hiss, looking dazed only for a moment as the boys start to nudge each other awake. He takes him in, then Rebecca, a grin spreading over his face.

"Should I wait up?" he asks as he stands, still in that ridiculous wig.

Ted shakes his head, waving him off as the bus starts to empty, then looks down at the blonde head on his shoulder.

Something like two hours ago, she'd wiggled against him, threading her arm under his, her hand flat against his forearm. He smiles down at it now, her fingertips resting on the heel of his hand. He curls his fingers, brushing them over the familiar soft pink color on her nails and his smile grows, his chest warm.

"Rebecca," he murmurs, squeezing her fingers more firmly. "Boss."

"Mm?" she grunts without moving and he almost chuckles.

"Home sweet home," he says, nudging her gently with his elbow. She sighs, squeezing his arm to her but still not moving to go.

"Unless you plan on spending the night in this bus," he says. "And let me tell you, if you're sore from your little swim earlier, sleeping on this probably ain't gonna do much for it."

She tilts her head on his shoulder just enough to shoot him a dirty look.

"Don't be a dick," she mutters. "It wasn't fucking marked as a bike lane."

"Mmhmm, 'course it wasn't," he says indulgently.

Her look gets dirtier.

He just chuckles, squeezing her fingers. "How'd I do as a pillow? I'm accepting feedback."

"Four stars," she says, lifting her head from his shoulder but not moving to rise.

"Four?" he says with an exaggerated frown.

"You lose a star for being too good," she says, rolling her head on her shoulders. "I didn't mean to sleep for so long."

"Oh," he chuckles. "Well, I'll take that."

She sighs again, taking in the fact that they're the last on the bus before turning to him, tipping her head against the seat. She gives him a small smile, almost clandestine, eyes full of the same contentment he's been filling his reserves with.

Her voice is hushed when she speaks. "Were you just gonna let us get locked in here or…?"

He snorts a little bit. "We got at least two more minutes before the boys sort out their bags and Ricky always checks before he gets the bus to the garage."

"Mmm," she hums, looking down at their hands for a long moment. Her fingers curl experimentally against the tender skin inside his wrist, sending tingles up his arm before carefully releasing him to sit up. "Thanks for letting me sleep on you."

"Oh, anytime," he says, meaning it entirely even as he rolls his stiff shoulder in its socket. He stands, lifting his backpack from the floor and over his shoulder before stepping around the tiny table, holding a hand out to her.

She smiles up at him as she slides her hand into his.

"You know what, Coach Lasso," she says as she rises, twinkling just a little bit. "I just might take you up on it."

He gasps dramatically.

"After all the fight you put up about joining us on the bus–"

She rolls her eyes, still grinning as she pulls him down the aisle, "Come on."

"Oh, but riding on the bus was gonna be such a long trip, such a nuisance–"

"Shut it."

"You can't tell me you had fun–"

He giggles when she pulls up short before the step down, releasing his hand to point a finger at him.

"I hate the bus."

He grins at her. "You're a terrible liar."

She huffs, but it does little to counteract her smile as she steps off the bus.

He lingers for a moment, his fingers still warm from being tangled up with hers. He closes his fist, trying to hold onto it as he follows her back down to solid ground.

[stormyoceans]

MONICA!!!!!! The concert was so good!!!! 😭😭😭 I’m assuming you’re ok with spoilers so here goes 😬

The first half of the show was them playing and recreating the key scenes and singing in them which I thought would trigger me tbh but instead I think it did me good to see the scenes I loved again 🥹 and Jimmy, Mark and Sea were so freaking good they cried in some scenes and I cried seeing them cry and it was so emotional again!!! I really wanna go back and rewatch all the good parts now, it’s still 80% a really good series!!

And they did Blame the Stars together!!! And you saw they did the “can I have my shirt back” scene!!! 😵🫠

(They played the breakup scene but not the reconciliation, it kinda just skipped to “happy ending” and I’m actually glad that we don’t have to rehash all of that)

They did full group songs and unit songs and what got to me was that MarkNamtan and OhmFilm did songs but so did NamtanFilm and MarkOhm!!! The NamtanFilm song was 😙👌

They did a whole Vice Versa medley!!! They did it for me!!! 😄 I was so happy and excited to see it!!! I hope that gets more of the newer fans to go watch it!!!

Jimmy, Mark and Sea had solo moments too, love that for them!!

They were surprised with a fan made video in support of them!! 🥰

Their speeches at the end were emotional and everyone cried, including me 🥹 Sea went second to last and Jimmy went last and he spoke the most 😁

It was just under 4 hours long, it started a little late (as all GMM concerts do tbh) but it was so good and worth only getting 4 hours of sleep 😅 I really hope you get to see it and enjoy it too!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR LIVE STREAMING EXPERIENCE OF THE LAST TWILIGHT CONCERT WITH ME KAREN!!!!!!!!

ngl reading this and seeing all the clips on twitter is making me want to buy the ticket for the rerun so badly like i always knew it was gonna be great and that everyone was gonna give their all but damn. the concert actually felt so well organized and thought out, i love that they basically turned the show into a musical and gave space for all kind of performances and pairings!!!!!! i've always wanted a duet version of blame the stars and im so happy they finally gave it to us!!!!!! and seeing namtanfilm and markohm slow dance alongside jimmysea was such a blessing THEY TRULY SAID THERE AIN'T NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE LEFT IN THIS SHOW

i really wasn't expecting it, but tbh i feel the same way as you. i think this did me good. maybe im just saying this because i haven't seen any videos of the break up scene so i can just keep pretending it never happened, but the parts i did see are kind of healing the hurt i've been feeling over the last three episodes of the show and bringing back all the love and excitement i used to have for morkday

ALSO NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT JIMMYSEA SINGING THE ENTIRETY OF THE VICE VERSA OST WITH A BRIGHT PINK STAGE SURROUNDING THEM MADE ME CRY LIKE A BABY like i truly did not expect them to bring vice versa up because last twilight is what brought them the popularity they always deserved so i was afraid they would kinda forget about vice versa, but im honestly just so ridiculously happy and emotional to know that it's still in their heart. or at least that they know it's still in ours, even if we may be a minority in the fandom now

i already had a meltdown over jimmysea this morning and i really can't afford another one and i don't think i would even have the words to express everything i feel but. im just so proud of them. it's honestly insane to me that they were able to pull off a performance like this in such a short period of time and with such a busy schedule. their dedication, their hard work, their kindness..... I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS THESE TWO BOYS DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND RECOGNITION IN THE WORLD

[yourlocalstranger123]

Obey me! and Genshin impact

Yes. This is Obey me and Genshin. :)

Bold is reader

Credits to the artist; lyoo_lyoo I'm not quite sure if it's twitter because I found this on youtube. (This inspired this idea.) Person who posted it; CrownieShorts

LOL why am I so weird. I might need therapy, yall can come but I ain't paying. I am very so called 'broke'

Warning; bite marks.

~ Fangs♥︎ with Lucifer ~

DeviantArt artist; Origarnic

"No."

"Aww please, Luci! Just this once! Lemme help you."

How did we get here? Well...

*flashback*

You were walking down the hall of the house to go get Lucifer. He usually is already here for breakfast but he's late. You opened the door to check out on him but you saw quite a scene.

Broken toothbrushes...what the— Lucifer started to groan at the frustration. He kept breaking the toothbrush. If only the fangs weren't so damn hard to clean! He usually wakes up early to brush his teeth or was just completely awake the whole night. He overslept today though.

"Hey, Luci. Need some help?" Trying to hold back a chuckle at his glare with his messy state. "No, I am perfectly fine! I can do this alone."

"Says the one who has so many broken toothbrushes in the trash-can, Dear."

"...."

*end of flashback*

Version 1;

Lucifer is sitting on your lap, opening his mouth for you. Holding tight on your shoulders so he doesn't fall. He looks down to see you carefully brushing his teeth so his fangs don't poke you.

Lucifer mind was a mess. He should've just done this by himself. But he'll be late and it's not like this is harming or anything....well at least not directly to you. His teeth are sensitive and— oh Diavolo.

He grabbed your wrist, saying that it's enough. He went off your lap and went to the bathroom to fix his hair. He eventually let you do it when it's necessary. Not like he's gonna purposely overslept or maybe lie about it for you to do it—

"Wow, I guess this is part of my daily routine hm?"

Although his words were muffled you knew he just said to shut your mouth. After you were done, he tried to get off until you picked him up but accidentally by his ass....you got one of a hell flustered Lucifer scolding you. Well, at least you found a new side of him, hooray!

Version 2;

You were sitting on his lap, Lucifer opening his mouth. He looked at you seeing you being so careful not to poke yourself with his fangs.

He looked away trying to focus on something else. Although he accidentally scooted you closer unconsciously. You teased him that for the rest of the day.

As same as version 1, he lets you do this when it's necessary and sometimes 'overslept' for you to clean his teeth and fangs.

After you were done you kissed his forehead. His breath hitched and he scooted away and left. Later of course he confronted you and perhaps scolded you. His pride could never admit he liked it.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Bite me."

"What?" Lucifer just sat there, bewildered. Why on hell would you want him to bite you?

"What? It's the same thing as leaving your scratch marks on my back—" (sometimes he ain't careful with those sharp nails but still a slay. 💅✨️✨️)

He covered your mouth. His face was so red! You grabbed both of his wrists and. Pinned him onto the wall.

"Also its similar with the marks you made."

You showed the marks he made from last night under your turtle neck. "You were so possessive, You kept saying I'm yours but I don't mind." You smirked seeing him squirming, trying to get out of your grip. Oh this was going to be a long night

Or, since I don't think (no offense I swear) most girls are tall enough 👀💧 I'm trying to make a male and female together so it's not only 1 gender to enjoy :) even though it doesn't specifically use pro nouns I think

You cornered him and grabbed his tie, and pushed his shoulder down to make him on his knees. You showed him the marks under the turtle neck. "My, my. I didn't think you'd be embarrassed. You had done this many times, haven't you?" You chuckled and his flustered state. This is gonna be quite a night

*later*

"Hey, why are you guys covered in bandages?" Solomon asked. You smiled and looked at Lucifer. You pulled down the bandages to make him see the bite marks he had made. As Lucifer scolded you Solomon is standing there, thinking yall are cannibals— just kidding.

Another Version

You walked up to Lucifer and pulled down his bandages. "You look so pretty my love♥︎" you whispered, landing a kiss on his neck. Before he can react, you were already gone.

~ Fangs♥︎ with Zhongli ~

With a little surprise person 🤭

Twitter artist; lavelis_twi

There are 2 because I didn't know if he would have snake-like fangs or maybe just fangs

Honestly, you were bored. Zhongli is a great company for you to play with! You can play with his hair, he doesn't mind. You can outline the marks on his arm (maybe other places too)

You happily walked to his house and knocked on it.

*knock*

No awnser.

*knock*

Still no awnser.

*knock*,, *knock*

Silence...

Weird. He usually comes out at the first knock. Is he perhaps not here? Well he did give me an extra copy sooo,,

Yeah. You went in. You walked to the door of the bedroom

"Zhongli? My love? Oh, my most beautiful gem? Darling? Hello??"

As you said that in front of the bedroom door, Zhongli comes out. If you have seen a little closer, you would've seen a red flush on the tip of his ears. I wonder why.

As his face looked panicked and worried, not because of the mess. More like because he never told you about his fangs and thought you would be scared or weirded out of it. (You guys haven't kissed mouth to mouth yet. So that's why he thought you haven't seen it.)

"Ah, sorry for not answering the door. I was...busy"

"Yeah...I can see that."

As you peeked over him to see broken toothbrushes on the ground. Although you didn't tell him that you knew about his fangs. You saw it when he yelled at Childe for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly and using them in a cursed way. He shut his eyes, waiting for you to answer or even for you to run away.

"Want some help Zhongli?"

His eyes perked up at you, surprised at your response.

"Yes, it would be delightful to get some help."

Version 1;

As he sat on your lap, hands slithering around your neck to your shoulders to stay steady. He opened his mouth wide, his fangs are similar to snake teeth but a bit thicker. Very sharp that it could poke through the toothbrush.

'This feels...quite pleasant.' As he thought he didn't notice you called out for him until you tapped on his thigh. His breath hitched and he looked down to see you. "A- ah...is there something wrong?" You swear you saw his face flushing red. But first, you need to solve a problem.

"Why is Childe beside us, Zhongli?"

Oh. He forgot to tell you.

"Well, since we both wanted you. We decided to...share."

Childe peaked at you and whispered, 'surprise!'

You sighed as you ruffled Childe's hair.

"[Name]!~ can you brush my teeth too—"

"No. Maybe later but I already have enough trouble dealing with one troublemaker."

Well at least he can get his turn tomorrow

Version 2;

As you sat on his lap, he began slithering his hands on your waist. Making sure you're comfortable. It felt so heavenly that he could just sleep right there.

"Hey, I'm done."

He opened his eyes to see you furrow your brows. He felt he forgot to tell you something.

"Why is Childe here, behind me."

Childe eyes went wide, surprised. He swears he hid so well in the corner though!

"We decided to share since we both...like you."

Before Childe could speak, you spoke what was on his mind.

"No, Childe. I'm not gonna brush your teeth too. Maybe tomorrow but not right now."

You were already in a bad mood that you did not know anything until now. At least you have two happy boyfriends tomorrow.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Bite me."

"Are you sure? I could hurt you." Zhongli is more considerate but still careful.

"Oh? But then you don't need to be on my side to make sure everyone knows I'm taken, hmm?"

The tip of his ears started to get red as he looked down. His legs are getting weak just by your words.

"Hey, what about me?" Childe said, looking at you with puppy eyes. I guess adding one more person won't hurt.

Ganyu began to worry, "are you guys ok? Who hurt you?!" You assured her, although you can't just tell her—

As you speak, a child accidentally tripped and the bucket of water spilled on you three. You guys are soaked, and the bandages are see-through too. Ganyu became flustered as she saw bite marks on the three of you. She excused herself and left. Great, now I don't think Ganyu can talk to you for a bit now.

[fandxmslxt69]

I'm listening to Getaway Car while tryna work and I literally can not stop giggling at every lyric because each word makes me think back to The Wrong Way from @romana-after-dark (you're ruined me man, I can't even anymore).

Like oh my fucking god. Who needs to finish class work when I can do an analysis. Okay. I'm picking the lines that hit the most

The ties were black, the lies were white - All the fucking lies Joel kept saying "im gonna keep you safe" and fucking "I love you" and shit LIAR LIES LIAR LIES In shades of gray in candlelight I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason - do I literally need to explain this one.

"X" marks the spot where we fell apart - there was at one point where it seemed like they were genuinely in love, but then it all fell apart at that one spot when shit went down with Tommy He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself - Lyin' to myself - lying to herself about being safe and thinking everything was going to be okay as long as she listened to Joel

It was the great escape, the prison break -this one is obvious, the first escape she tried to make but it also reminds me of the escape made with Lorenzo and Tommy The light of freedom on my face - They manage to make it to freedom duh But you weren't thinkin' and I was just drinkin' - they obviously didn't think shit through right and didn't realise Joel was gonna figure it out While he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', "Go, go, go!" - doesnt need explaining, makes me think of the anxiety rush I got reading that omfg But with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow - when i hear three of us I'm thinking Joel, her and Tommy and how its all going to shit because of how complicated it got between the three And a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry (we're both sorry) - omfg this one is so self explanatory i'm literally shaking

"X" marks the spot where we fell apart -same thing as last time He poisoned the well, every man for himself - EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF the whole thing Joel had going on with the others- Tommy and Lorenzo mostly- all went to shit between having to decide to let joel keep going or to help her and it became just a situation where they just had to fight for themselves

anyway hi im not okay thank you <3

[tammulberry]

Shrek's Domain: A Shrek & Jujutsu Kaisen Crossover (Mulberry Conundrum)

On why I did this, I don't even know the answer to that.

SYNOPSIS: Shrek gets kidnapped.

Years of the Yapping™ started in 2022 finished in 2024

RATING: GG for Goodness Gracious WORD COUNT: 1069

Copyright © 2024 by T.A.M. Mulberry

Somebody once told Shrek that he would be left all alone in his swamp. Yeah sure, he ain't the brightest tool in the shed but what exactly was the issue with that? Shrek was living the Far Far Away dream. He had private property, a mud jacuzzi, a limitless supply of slugtastic cuisine and signs that tell people to get off his property.

However, that amazing life of his was gonna be over sooner than he expected. Not because of some short dude compensating for something. Not because of a talking donkey that he wanted off his ass. It wasn't even because of some fairytale creatures that decided to invade his home.

His life was ruined because of two things: a soapy finger and a white haired bean pole with a punchable face.

***

Shrek's eyelids started to flicker as he heard an irritating voice. As he slowly opened his eyes, he saw a strange dude with white hair and a blindfold. Maybe his eyes were used for stew, he thought.

"Heyy! What's up, stinky!" the voice drawled at him as he was still delirious. "Care to hang over with me on the wall of the place that we call home in the dumpster fire of the sea and the stars?"

"What?" As Shrek slowly opened his eyes, he saw rings.

"Care for some onion rings? I heard your species liked those things."

Instinctively, Shrek tried to swing his right arm but alas, he was tied up. He struggled against the rope and the annoying beanpole laughed.

"Haha look, I know you're an orc and all but no way are you gonna get out of those restraints. It's magic."

"First of all, I'm an ogre," said Shrek nonchalantly. "Second of all..."

"WHERE IS MY SWAMP?"

The white haired man gasped dramatically. "The goblin is going to kill me!"

"I'm an OH-GER!" Shrek enunciated. "My name is Shrek!"

"Yay!" The man clapped. "He can talk! Since we're doing introductions now. I'm Satoru Gojo. The strongest sorcerer there is!"

"Where am I?" Shrek asked as he looked around. It was full of strange papers with even stranger markings hanging from every part of the room.

"You, my repulsive green friend, are in the chambers of Jujutsu High School."

"Oh, and spoiler alert," Gojo whispered. "It's far far away from your beloved swamp."

"Then why am I even here?" Shrek asked exasperatedly.

Gojo raised his pointer finger. "That's a very good question! Megumi! Come over here!"

Shrek raised his head up to see another figure walk into the room. He had black spiky hair like a porcupine and looked like he didn't want to be there.

Great, that makes two of them.

"Why don't you tell the troll here about what happened?" Gojo asked the boy with a wide grin, his hand rested on his cheek.

"For the last time, Gojo, how was I supposed to know that he was gonna eat it?" Megumi scoffed at him.

"Wait, eat?" Shrek raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I see. You idiots want to slaughter me for a banquet."

"Absolutely not," Megumi deadpanned. "You're here because you came into contact with one of the most dangerous relics known to man. Do you realize that?"

"I'm an ogre so it probably ain't that threatening if I know nothing about it."

"Do you remember eating anything strange?" said Megumi.

"No, I didn't—" But Shrek's world started to spin around like a whirlpool.

"What's happening?!" Shrek exclaimed and if things couldn't get any worse, the white man was the only thing he could see as he spun.

"See ya later, maneater!" Gojo waved at him.

***

Shrek woke up again in what seemed to be his swamp. Maybe it was just a nightmare, he thought. Relief flooded his system momentarily until he got up and looked at his surroundings.

Everything was trashed. Frantically, he tried to search through all his belongings only to find bones, muck and ruins.

He burst out from his house and saw a man that looked like him. If he was buffer and had facial hair.

"So, you've finally entered my domain," said his doppelgänger with a gravelly voice.

There goes "it was just a dream." This day couldn't get any better but Shrek could care less at this point.

"Why do you have a British accent?" Shrek asked him, perplexed.

"Shut up, ogre." At least he knows he is one. "Believe me, I do not want to be in this situation either."

"Hmm," started Shrek. "That makes you, me and the porcupine boy."

"Silence!" The other Shrek boomed. "Do you know who I am, foul beast?"

"I preferred it when you called me ogre."

"I am Ryomen Sukuna! The King of Curses! I have taken over your your body after you conveniently found my finger in your disgusting premises."

Shrek shuddered and grimaced but he's experienced weirder. "Ohh, so that's what this is about. If the whirlpool was a clue, do I just need to flush you out?"

"No!" Sukuna facepalmed. "I am a walking disaster! A bomb that can easily level cities!"

"Heh, the only bomb that can level cities is the huge load I'm about to drop on the white-haired wizard once I get out."

***

Shrek opened his eyes again. Lo and behold, Satoru Gojo and his apprentice, Megumi observing him.

"Fascinating..." said Megumi. "He's so indifferent to the situation that he managed to keep the Ryomen Sukuna at bay."

"Well!" Gojo raised his arms. "Now that you received a vague explanation as to why you are here... I'm going to offer you an ultimatum?"

"Do your worst."

"Either you become my servant OR I kill you!" Gojo exclaimed with finger guns and Shrek sighed.

"How are you gonna kill me?" Shrek asked as he seemed to be considering that option a lot more.

"We're going to spill your guts and use it as fertilizer for our plants. I'm gonna "Gojo" your eyeballs and — "

"Eh, not a bad way to use my dead body — " Shrek shrugged.

"You're not supposed to be so calm about this!" Megumi yelled.

"Whoa, chill, Megumi," said Gojo nonchalantly as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Be as indifferent as our squonk friend here."

Gojo turned to Shrek and removed his blindfold, revealing sparkling blue eyes.

"So what's it gonna be, ogre?"

"Your eyeballs would look better than mine in a cocktail."

END.