#this actress was my gay awakening before i even knew i was gay

[hecatesbroom]

I'm watching what was my absolute favourite show as a teen and ohh, every time I watch it I become more and more convinced there would've been a fandom for this if it'd been in English

[jennyboom21]

It was small, minor even. In all of the pageantry, hoopla, stunts and shows that come with the annual Met Gala — celebrities decked in haute couture, multiple costume changes, group chats and social media timelines rushing to outdo one another for jokes. But in the middle of all that, Queen Latifah walked the 2024 Met Gala Carpet with her longtime partner Eboni Nichols.

When I first saw it, well, I screamed a little. Ok, maybe I screamed more than a little. But you have to understand, it’s not that we haven’t seen Queen and Eboni walk a red carpet together before, they walked the Oscars carpet together in 2022 and more recently they walked a different red carpet together for an AmFAR benefit in 2023. She first publicly acknowledged Eboni, and their son Rebel, from a BET Awards stage by thanking them both as her “love” while accepting her Lifetime Achievement. But if you’re a queer person and especially a Black queer person, who has been a part of this community at any point in the last 30 years, I also know that you get it. This is the queen. After rooting for her journey for so long, after she was a queer awakening for so many of us across so many years, every forward step still feels lucky somehow for us to witness. Each one feels like a breath of fresh air.

I posted my all caps emotions to Twitter because for better or for worse, I am chronically online. I thought it would do maybe a few hundred likes. Some love from a few other fans. Again on some level I intellectually know… we have been here before. But somehow still, the Met felt different. Walking the world’s most famous carpet, with every camera trained on you and your partner in your matching black & white gowns felt different. Anyway, it ended up with over 45 thousand likes in a day. And that’s when I knew — I wasn’t alone.

To be very clear here, I do not believe that Queen Latifah owes us Dana Owens. In 2008, after being arguably the most famous woman rapper for nearly two decades and an Oscar-nominated actress, she told The New York Times that when it came to her romantic life, “You don’t get that part of me. Sorry. We’re not discussing it… Nobody gets that. I don’t feel like I need to share my personal life.” And she’s absolutely correct. We are not owed hers (or anyone’s) coming out. We are not owed beyond what she has left for us on stage and screen.

But it’s also hard not to feel this as a homecoming, deep in your bones. And I hope that if Queen sees this joy spreading across the internet as pictures of her and Eboni go viral, that she knows its meant with pride in her and gratitude for all that she already gave us. Everything else is a bonus.

I have loved Queen Latifah since I was eight years old. I loved her longer than I’ve known I was gay. In so many ways, she taught me a lot about strength, and independence, and loving other Black women and not taking any shit and womanhood. So it’s impossible, now, not to gush when Emma Chamberlin interviewed Queen and Eboni together on the carpet and asked, “Is this a date night?”

Queen takes a deep breath and smiles before teasingly calling Eboni “Eb.” Eboni fills in their banter and says that she playfully threatened Queen that this was the year they were doing the Met, and she better make it happen. Like an old married couple who’s been here a thousand times before, Queen Latifah picks up the story there, saying that she wanted to be “the hero of my household.” And so now, here they are.

I’m saying… this is Queen Latifah… being flirtatious and chivalrous to her partner, live and in front of cameras? I am on my knees. We used to dream for days like this!!

(No, literally. Do you know many times I have wished I could be silly and thirsty and overdramatic on the internet for their love story??? To even be able make a joke like “I’m on my knees” in same that’s usually reserved for an umpteenth number of white skinny lesbians in their 20s and 30s. To borrow even more internet speak: I cry 😭)

I think a lot about what it means to be Black and a lesbian or bisexual or queer and a woman over a certain age. In part, I think about it because of this job (writing about gay people on the internet), but also it’s because of this job that I know so many of the queer icons I grew up loving — for whatever reason, they’ve never felt like they could come out. Not fully. Not in such a way that we can openly write about them.

And there are a lot of days where, to be honest, that doesn’t matter. Everyone, even celebrities, is entitled to their own life story. It’s truly probably none of our business. But Queen Latifah did an interview with her longtime partner and after loving her for what feels like my entire life now I get to all caps yell SHUT UP YALL, THEY ARE SO CUTE and they are and it’s perfect. Sometimes, that matters too.

[sunnysaylorboy]

my opinion on/a surprisingly passionate defense of Mulan (2020) (SPOILERS)

I’ve seen a lot of ppl ragging on the new Mulan for so many reasons, so I will go over why these (mostly) are stupid reasons and why I love the new movie.

1. Liu Yifei supporting the Hong Kong police. Now this is not a stupid reason, this is valid. I am an East Asian studies major, and as much as I love Disney, when I first heard the news I knew I could not watch Mulan (2020) in good conscience. It went against everything I have learned in my studies, and everything I believe. However, now I am almost positive Liu Yifei was forced to make those comments- I've seen several sources saying so recently. You can look for these sources on your own, because this isn’t the whole point of my post, but I think it's true. A movie about a woman defying her government and social expectations of the time? Hong Kong citizens could absolutely use her as a symbol for protesting against China. It makes sense that the government would take preventative measures before this could happen. But anyways, I was not planning on watching Mulan (2020) until I found out that what she said was most likely fake/forced.

2. The removal of Mushu. Yes, I too miss Mushu but I completely understand why they did that. A lot of ppl make these sort of complaints about the live action remakes not using humor in the same way as the original, but that’s bc it doesn’t translate well. Humor in animated movies is exaggerated or silly, and it works in that medium but if you do the exact same in a live action film, it will come off as too slapstick. Think Will Ferrell in Elf (still a good movie). Mushu’s whole character is based off of this humor that appeals more to kids, and it would have really made the dialogue with him super cringey. and I know if they made him a more serious supportive character people would've complained about that too, so I understand why they did it.

3. The removal of Li Shang. I miss our bisexual boy too, but I actually think they did a really great job with the new guy Honghui. The directors removed Li Shang because he is in a sense, Mulan’s boss, and they felt that it was too much like the #MeToo movement, which I applaud. At first I was upset that supposedly this new character would be a jerk to Mulan until he found out she was a girl, but that's not what happened in the film fortunately. Honghui and Mulan start off on the wrong foot but they grow as comrades and sort-of friends, and Honghui is the first to stick by Mulan’s side when she reveals who she is. Even if there aren’t as many signals of him being bi, I think they progressed their relationship nicely. (I was sorta hoping for a kiss at the end though).

4. Mulan’s “chi.” Apparently people do not like that Mulan already has a sort of warrior streak inside of her already, as opposed to the 1998 version where she struggles to get used to the army. I think this is an overgeneralization. Mulan does struggle to become a soldier, as we can see in the training montage. Similar to the pole and the arrow at the top, she cannot reach the top of the mountain carrying the buckets with her arms outstretched like everyone else at first- then when she manages to do it, she knows she has proven herself. Plus, I like that they gave her more character. We don’t see any of Mulan’s childhood years in the original, so it is a little hard to understand why she is such an outcast. She only had one incident with the matchmaker and suddenly she is questioning her identity. But the 2020 version establishes that Mulan has been different from the start and everyone has known it since then. It makes it more believable that she brings dishonor on her family so easily. And just because she has strong chi doesn’t necessarily mean she is already a warrior. She is told to hide her chi as a child, and she does not tap into it easily- her commanding officers can sense something is holding her back. She is special, yes, but she isn’t “the chosen one.” She still works hard and she still relies a lot on her strategy instead of brute force just like in the animated version.

5. Lack of musical numbers. I do miss the musical numbers. But they did well with incorporating the musical themes from the original into the movie. The little “Honor to Us All” theme playing while she gets ready for the matchmaker? Perfect. The bit of “Reflection” playing when she reaches the top of mountain? Beautiful. And “Reflection” playing at the end when she is recognized as a hero? I was bawling. Also, this isn’t the first remake that Disney hasn’t made as a musical- the 2015 Cinderella did not include “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” (except in the credits like Mulan did), or “Bibbidi-Bobbido-Boo,” or “So This is Love.” I know that Cinderella is an older movie and may not be as beloved to this generation as Mulan, but those song are still incredibly iconic to the Disney brand and I didn't see anyone complaining about those songs being removed. Idk, I don’t think it’s a big enough deal to be upset over it, especially because they included instrumentals of the songs for the live-action version.

6. The addition of the witch. I can’t believe people are complaining about the personification of the hawk from the first movie- seriously, watch the remake and you’ll see how great Xian Liang’s character is. I love the parallels drawn between her and Mulan. Despite fighting for opposite sides, she sees herself in Mulan, and Mulan sees how she might end up if she had chosen the route of evil. I think they did it wonderfully and I’m definitely not gay for Gong Li...

7. The cost. This one, I understand. $30 is a lot to pay for a movie, but I get it because they’re losing money from not going to theaters for a few months. I paid the $30 because I felt like I had waited long enough to see it, I was foaming at the mouth the night of its release, and I had $30 I was willing to spend on it. Ofc Disney is a multi-million dollar company, so I don’t begrudge anyone pirating it bc screw capitalism.

I just had to get this off my chest because so many criticisms of this film seem so unjustified, weak, or deliberately negative. I swear, not just with Mulan, I see so many people who hate the live-action remakes- it’s like they’re trying to find things to hate about them, and I'm frankly getting sick of it. Like damn bitch why you gotta be so negative about everything?? The acting is great, the music is phenomenal and timeless, the costumes are so extravagant, the action sequences make you hold your breath in anticipation... y'all will find anything to whine about and I'm TIRED. And it seems like some of y'all are purposefully ignoring WHY they made these changes. These changes were made to adhere to the Legend of Mulan more closely, to make up for some of the racial insensitivity/cultural inaccuracies in the original, and to appeal to their Asian audience. the 1998 version is a VERY Americanized way to tell they story- so stop complaining, you got “your version” that appeals to you.

Some things I loved were

1. Mulan’s sister. It’s not often we see Disney princesses with siblings. Even though she didn’t have much screen time, I loved Xiu and the relationship she had with Mulan.

2. The phoenix symbolism. In Mulan (1998), there is heavy dragon symbolism as Mulan is preparing to run away to the army. This insinuates that Mulan is the dragon, the protector of the family, and that is why the Great Stone Dragon doesn’t awaken later. In this version, she is instead guarded and represented by a phoenix. In Chinese mythology (correct me if I'm wrong), the phoenix stands for yin and yang, harmony and is often the female counterpart to the dragon. The wings specifically represent duty, which is why the wings of the phoenix spread behind Mulan when she saves the emperor singlehandedly. Though I don’t know if they intended this, in Greek mythology the phoenix is a symbol of death and rebirth. Mulan is reborn again as Hua Jun, but ultimately in this version she is not discovered as a girl, she chooses to fight as one. The moment she does, “Hua Jun died, and Mulan was born again,” as she sees the phoenix once more. Mulan is the phoenix, and she brings harmony after defeating the Rourans. It’s beautiful.

3. The avalanche scene. A lot of the battle scene was different, but I loved that they kept in the avalanche from the original. Mulan’s planning in this one shows how big her brain is, and how well her strategy works.

4. Xian Liang and Honghui. As I already mentioned, I really loved how they portrayed these characters.

5. The fight scenes. God they really got the perfect actress to play Mulan. Liu Yifei leaning back to avoid an arrow from a Rouran? Impeccable. Mulan’s display of her techniques when she and Honghui get into it when they’re supposed to be practicing? So cool. 

All in all, I loved this movie just like I love all of the other Disney princess live-action remakes. Disney obviously spent a lot of money on the action sequences, the costumes, the backgrounds, the historical accuracies, the casting, the storyline, everything is amazing. I will definitely be watching again.

[uh-drarry]

Harry/Ron/Neville/Hermione Friendship Headcanon

Masterlist

Hermione moves into the neighborhood when they’re 8 years old.

Harry opens up to her quicker than he did with the boys. Mostly because it’s been awhile since anyone has treated him like Dudley did. He’s also noticed that her skin was like his, and that some boys were mean to her and he doesn’t want anyone treated like he was.

Ron and Neville are weary of the friendship for a little while. One, she’s a girl, have you ever heard of cooties? Also because they’re very protective of Harry.

She ends up proving herself to them when some kids are mean to Harry when they’re not around, and she yells at them. She’s been a part of the group ever since that moment.

They all quickly become best friends and spend all the time they can together.

When out on the playground together, Hermione often braided Harry’s hair and taught him how to braid hers. The other two let them try to braid their short hair and they always think that’s hilarious.

Neville taught them how to make flower crowns and Ron was actually the best at making them.

They all eventually learn how to help Harry through panic attacks. First Ron, then Harry had one on the playground one time and Neville wanted to learn how to help after that day because who knew what would’ve happened if Ron wasn’t there and Neville wasn’t there to get a teacher.

Harry gets embarrassed when he has them in public spaces but does feel better about it when his dads, Ron, Neville, or Hermione are there.

When Hermione first notices something is wrong with Harry, they’re playing in Harry’s room and the other two boys weren’t there that day. She asks him what’s wrong and he was able to ask for his dads.

Hermione ran out of Harry’s room and yelled “Sirius, Remus! Something is wrong with Harry!”

They of course drop everything and run up to his room to help him. Hermione could only watch and when everything was calm again she asked what happened and how could she help Harry next time. Then she gives Harry a hug and tells him she loves him and they watch a movie together after that.

Eventually when they’re a little older, Harry tells them why he gets the panic attacks. He tells them they’re usually triggered by being stuck somewhere or being chased. They ask him questions and he answers with what he remembers of his time with the Dursleys. He tells them about being starved, locked in the cupboard, bruised, etc. They eventually all cry and pile onto Harry in a big friend puddle to comfort him and let him know they love him forever and they’ll always be there for him.

Hermione often got teased about having only guy friends or her appearance and didn’t tell the boys about it. She didn’t want them to think less about her because of it. When Harry overheard someone harassing her, he got very upset and said some things he probably shouldn’t have said. He took Hermione to the teacher and held her hand while she explained what was happening. When Ron and Neville found out, they all buried her in a group hug and told her she was awesome and they loved her. She felt much better about her place in the group after that day and always told them if she had a problem in the future.

They became much more affectionate after that.

The boys weren’t afraid to hug, snuggle, or kiss each other's cheeks, etc. Hermione of course did all this as well.

When they’re maybe 12, they make an official pact to always be friends, to talk through problems if they have them and not let them fester, and they always have to end an argument and make up/apology with a hug.

They actually stick to this agreement.

When they all eventually get phones, they have them set so it’ll always ring if one of the four ever calls so they can always be there for each other like they promised.

When Ron and Hermione bicker, Neville and Harry will just look at each other and then go do their own thing together until the spat is over.

A lot of times, Ron and Hermione will just find them cuddled together and napping. Harry would always fall asleep on someone who ran their hands through his hair. His friends did it often.

The four are always hanging out at Grimmuald Place, and when they’re older they’ll hang out there even when Harry isn’t there. Remus and Sirius are like their uncles at this point and they all love hanging around each other.

They probably all got jobs at Sirius’s coffee shop.

They always get free things at the cafe, they can’t actually recall ever paying for anything. The workers are taught to not take their money. Hermione will always try of course and it has become a game to see who can get the most money into the tip jar without Sirius noticing. They’ve gotten $19.65 in the jar in 3.5 years of all four of them trying.

They all decided at some point that they wanted to go to East London Uni together. So they could go to school together and also because Remus teaches there of course. And it’s close to home.

They all encourage each other’s passions. Even when other people get annoyed by them.

They all come out to each other first.

They think it’s funny that none of them turned out straight.

First Harry told them he was going to marry a boy when he was older and claimed he was gay like his dads. He wanted a love like theirs. He was 13.

Second was Hermione when they were 15. She got her hands on books and such when she was curious and ended up realizing she was a lot like some of these queer girls and that she had a major crush on Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean. 

Third was actually Harry again. His Bisexual awakening. He was talking to Hermione about some of her crushes and she would talk about why she liked them, and he realized he liked a lot of the same things and maybe he had a bit of a crush on some female actresses too. He was worried for a little while that he was actually only attracted to women and not guys. That maybe he had totally messed up and he only thought he liked guys because his dads did and he wanted to be like them. But then he spent a while at Ron’s house one summer with the other three and Ron’s brother Charlie came home from Romania (therefore Harry didn’t see him often) for a week or so. Harry, a dumbass, walked into the occupied bathroom when Charlie was drying off from a shower and froze and turned very red. He then yelled an apology, and ran back to Ron’s room and buried himself in his pillow and yelled about being bisexual and screaming a little about it too. The other three just laughed at him. Harry couldn’t look at Charlie the rest of the time he was staying at the Weasley’s house. They were 17.

Fourth was Ron. Viktor Krum was an exchange student for the year and very very handsome. They were friendly and Ron was always red around him. Ron talked to his friends about Krum a lot. They thought it was cute and encouraged Ron to ask him out but he never found the courage. They were still 17.

Fifth and last but not least is Neville. He’d been pretty sure for awhile that he preferred boys but he was somewhat confused as well because well he didn’t think he was sexually attracted to them or anyone really. He liked the idea of kissing a guy he was dating but it made him uncomfortable to think about anything further than that. He eventually went to his friends asking them if something was wrong. Hermione of course immediately asked if he was asexual and then explained what it meant. Neville thought maybe that was right. Ron claimed that Charlie was asexual and they ended up calling him and letting Neville talk about some of this with Charlie who had immediately agreed to chat for a bit. Neville felt 10 times better about himself after talking to his friends and Charlie and started saying he was asexual after that. They, again, were 17. (A big year for them.)

Harry and Hermione would sometimes chat about girls and who they thought was cute but then Ron and Neville would laugh and say “Excuse me but this is a hetero free zone. *cough* Harry *cough.*” Harry would then turn to one of the guys, usually the one that said something and do something like sit on their laps, kiss them briefly, or propose to them and then ask if that was gay enough for them.

One time Ron actually kissed him back and they did that for a bit. When they separated Harry smacked Ron’s ass and just said “no homo.” They all know they are only friends, they don’t feel romantic attraction to each other and never have.

Despite that, Harry has definitely at least made out with all three of the others.

The four have bestie tattoos. They all went together when they were all of legal age.

Hermione loved it and proceeded to get many more. At least one of the boys always went with her for support even though she didn’t need it.

Ron remains the only one with the single tattoo.

Hermione often gets exasperated by the boys but she loves all of them and tries to help when she can.

Throughout school they often slept over at Harry’s before big tests to study together and this continued into college when they did have classes together. 

They really didn’t have secrets between each other. They are all very critical of people the others are dating until they can prove themselves however that happens. It hasn’t often happened that they approve of them before the couple breaks up.

They really don’t know what they’d do without the others in their lives.

---

Thank you for reading! I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you all enjoy and are staying safe and healthy. Thank you again for all my followers I love you all. Let me know your thoughts?

Harry/Ron/Neville Friendship Post

Masterlist

Tags: @pan-and-ready-to-stan @spaceaas @abstractundefined @afanbloglikeanother  @meandminniemcg

[zontiky]

Okay but au where they're not all related and five is a mysterious orphan Diego keeps running into at odd hours of the night and then him just being like "fuck it he's like 13 he can't be out alone at night" and then just takes him home like a godamn stray and five is THRIVING under the positive attention he never had I beg of you please feed my soul. Also sorry if this doesn't make sense I've had 2 hours of sleep and like 8 coffees today

i think i’ve read a fic similar to this but FUCK YEAH let’s do this (sorry im so late btw i havent been feeling bullet points lately fksjdfks) ALSO HEY OP PLEASE DON’T DIE I HOPE YOU’RE OK??? 

so diego is still a cop and he’s patrolling or doing whatever it is that cops do, and then he sees a kid sitting in an alley

obviously he pulls over like “hey kid you okay?” and the kid is like “shut up go away bootlicker” and diego is instantly “okay then come on im taking you to get food”

the kid doesn’t want to go but at the same time diego can tell he knows that there’s really no better options. this child looks hungry

so the kid and diego go to griddy’s and the kid says his name is five when asked

“that’s not a name”

“is too”

diego+fam have a long history of trauma and reginald called them by number which was their birth order or something? idk OH SHIT WAIT YOU SAID NOT ALL RELATED OK OK COOL SO

luther is a mechanic who diego knows because he’s the dude who’s often the one repairing his car, they’re on pretty good terms and go out for coffee sometimes because luther hates alcohol and diego’s body is a temple so he doesn’t drink

diego is diego he’s a cop but he’s highkey broke and i really don’t know how much cops get paid? hm

ok google says from 34.6k - 89.4k a year and numbers mean nothing to me so lets say he’s just a gremlin who lives in a boiler room because it’s efficient

OR he’s still dating eudora and lives with her

you know what that’s probably the better option i’m gonna go with that. they don’t have as much childhood trauma even though none of the “siblings” come from exactly good homes? but none of them were raised by reggie mcfuckface so it’s less like,,, bad even though they’re all fucked up

WAIT DO THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

HELL YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR POWERS

ok ok so luther is a mechanic who uses his super strength and endurance to just fucking carry cars around his garage and i know NOTHING about mechanics as a profession but but but luther is good at what he does

diego is a cop who lives with eudora and throws knives like a boss. he also throws tennis balls really hard because stabbing people on duty isn’t advised

you know what? i’m gonna say allison ISNT a movie star, shes a smaller actress with minor roles here and there because she’s a mom and spends time with claire. she doesn’t use her rumor as much because honestly she doesn’t see a reason to? like sometimes she’ll go “i heard a rumor you gave me a free shot of coffee” and like,,, that’s it shfskd

her and patrick are still divorced but that’s because they did it the healthy way. they knew they were drifting apart but instead of rumoring him they broke it off mutually and they still meet up for coffee. they’re friends ok. claire loves her parents

klaus! klaus has problems but because im a soft bitch dave is here in 2019. he’s… also a mechanic…. they all know eachother but dave knows luther and diego pretty well. luther via work and diego via luther

yes klaus! so klaus has a history of drugs and addiction, because while he wasn’t shoved into a mausoleum ghosts screaming at you all the fucking time doesn’t help with staying sober

but because he has a support network he can fall back on he’s doing well, he’s a barista in a coffee shop that allison and patrick & diego and luther frequent

shoutout to klaus

five is an orphan he’s 13 and small and kind of a genius? fuck what if as a kid five accidentally time-traveled to 2019 and thaT’S HOW HE BECAME AN ORPHAN 

galaxy brain

so five is this kid in the wrong time living on the streets not knowing how things work

i mean he does obviously because he catches on quick and he’s smart but really he doesn’t know how some shit works ok. he’s clueless when it comes to technology and pop culture and shit

ben!! ben is alive!! he’s a part time writer and a full time librarian!! he knows klaus because during his homeless days klaus stuck around the library because free bathrooms and also reading to take his mind off the ghosts. they become really close and ben gets klaus to move in with him and then he’s trying to get sober and then ben’s car crashes and that’s how they meet luther and dave OHHHH

additionally: klaus illustrates some of ben’s books because he knows how to draw yay

vanya! she’s first chair in the orchestra and she’s dating helen cho because i say so

so vanya kicks ass at violin, she’s being gay teaching lessons all that good shit what more is there to say

harold isn’t here because there was never an umbrella academy

hmmm back to the,,, actual plot,,, im sorry sksfhdjsk

SO DIEGO FINDS FIVE RIGHT

AND HE’S LIKE “oh no this child is awakening my paternal instincts oh no i have to take him home with me now”

eudora opening the door to see her husband boyfriend with an angry looking teenager at his side: dear god what did you do this time

eudora instantly bonds with five and i mean INSTANTLY like she lays eyes on him and goes “child?? small?? looks lonely?? must protect” and five looks at her like “badass looking lady she probably knows what shes doing might as well ask for info and stuff” but hes actually thinking “oh dang she looks like she knows what she’s doing RESPECT” and yeah ksdjhsdkf

then five expects them to be mean or just get tired of him and kick him out but?? they dont??? wack

diego is instantly like “kid where do you live”

‘um’

“you live somewhere right???”

‘UM’

they find out he’s legally dead and thats another can of worms entirely

so they register and foster five

diego and eudora are registered foster parents you cannot change my mind alright

then five is introduced to luther and dave, and also ben and klaus because theyre hanging around the shop bc it’s their off day

so five instantly has 4 more people giving him instant love and validation and he’s like “woah”

THEN ALLISON AND PATRICK

claire too,, claire immediately adopts five as her older brother

this entire time five is like “i can’t stay im gonna leave soon you all know this right” and eveybody is “yep ok sure” but they all know hes gonna stay

hhHHHH GAME NIGHTS

five beats everybody at scrabble

diego beats everybody at darts, even though everybody calls him out for cheating

vanya beats everybody at musical chairs. she levitates the chairs so nobody can sit down

luther beats everybody at outdoor games. do not play tag with this man you might not make it out alive

allison is the QUEEN of blurt! 

ben is so good at charades it’s unfair

klaus honestly sucks at board games, but he always wins uno and nobody knows how (its the ghosts skfhsdkf)

five is so confused because its obvious all of them are cheating but??? nobody cares?? what

“it’s because it’s fun nobody is actually upset”

whaaaaaaat

so they have to explain to him that they dont play to win they play to have fun and its just a fun thing they do to spend time together and bond

five: mind blown

THEY TAKE HIM TO AN AQUARIUM

BEN JUST CHILLS WITH THE OCTOPI THE ENTIRE TIME

FIVE BONDS WITH CRABS

THEY ALL LOVE SEALS

five gets exposed to modern culture!! klaus and ben teach him memes is what i’m saying 

five goes to school!!! he makes friends!!!! they have nice sleepovers and diego and eudora make them cookies :’)

i want to say. okay so.

reginald exists and he had made grace eariler as preparation for the children he was going to adopt, but he died before he could buy any babies

so grace exists! and!! she knows the “siblings”!!!

so five has a grandma because im not going to lie grace is basically all of their’s mom

she lives in the mansion but she can go outside and DO THINGS and she makes them COOKIES and she LOVES HER KIDS and GRANDKIDS and five ADORES her ok

basically five is happy with his pseudo family that’s it thank you for your time

wait no actually he figures out how to time travel safely and he does go back and forth

sometimes he pops in and he’s like “hey we ran out of milk” and then a second later he’s like “for the love of god wait until tomorrow to get milk dont ask why you dont wanna know” and its obvious that he came back from the future and HHHHHH YES

the commission can’t do shit because found family love is simply too strong

hazel and agnes are the nice couple who run griddys and birdwatch

five is fond of them too honestly like he just loves going to griddys because it has so many happy memories for him and its where he met diego (sorta) and also yay hazel and agnes!!

SO YEAH BASICALLY: FIVE IS HAPPY AND THIS AU IS GOD TIER THANK YOU

THIS IS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THIS AU THANK YOU

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 1

Fandom: Revue Starlight Relive Pairing: Tomoe Tamao/Akikaze Rui Prompt: Meet Cute

approx. 1,800 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:   Thirteen year-old Akikaze Rui finds a way to change her shy demeanor in her middle school's drama club. More importantly, she wants to perform on the same stage as that gorgeous senpai. All she needs to do is work up the courage to apply...

Tags: Meet Cute, Comedy, Puppy Love, middle school!Rui, middle school!Tamao

Akikaze Rui, thirteen years-old, didn't know what to expect from her school play. It was the day of her middle school's cultural festival, and she had been wandering from attraction to attraction until her curiosity led her to the auditorium. Little did she know that her life was about to be turned upside-down. 

The actors were average at best. It was a middle school play, after all. But there was one standout performer, a shining star against a night sky of amateurs: a girl with long, dark hair.

She played the role of a princess, her character beginning the play as a regal and refined woman who is pushed into taking up the sword and becoming a fierce and formidable warrior. The actress's transformation was incredible. Rui wouldn't have believed such a dainty girl capable of such ferocious yells and impassioned speeches. It was inspiring, to say the least.

Up until now, Rui had been a leading member of the Going Home Club. She was too shy to join any social group she didn't have to, and her only extracurricular interest was kendo, but she was already enrolled at a dojo and had surpassed what most middle school students were capable of. After seeing this play—more importantly, its starring actress—Rui was inspired to try acting. She wanted to change herself, and she might be able to do so through the medium of acting. She had to join the drama club.

Rui knew she had to strike while the iron was hot. There was a chance that if she waited, the fire burning in her chest might die down and she would give into her shy nature. It had to be now.

As the other students filed out of the auditorium, Rui snuck backstage. It wasn't until she was hiding behind a prop tree that she realized she didn't have a plan. She peeked out behind the tree periodically in search of her new idol, her determination waning with every passing second. Maybe she should just leave and go to the drama club sometime later...

She stepped out from around the prop tree just in time for another girl to come out from behind the stage. Rui recognized her immediately as the actress who had turned her world upside down. The girl was still wearing the princess costume that she had on during the play. It hadn't been apparent at a distance, but now that Rui was up close she could see that this girl was astonishingly pretty. Like, "melt your brain" pretty.

"Oh, I thought everyone left," the girl said. "Are you one of the girls who volunteered to help put away the props?"

"Um, I, uh..." Rui had trouble getting words out of her mouth at the best of times, and talking to a beautiful girl she admired hardly counted as ideal circumstances. The phrase "I want to join the drama club," had seemed so easy to say when she decided to sneak backstage.

The other girl seemed unperturbed by Rui's verbal fumbling. "Could you help me with this zipper?" She turned around, showing Rui the zipper on the back of her dress. "I think it's stuck, and everyone else in the drama club has left already."

"O-okay!" It was easier for Rui to think now that she wasn't looking the gorgeous girl straight in the face. She pulled down on the zipper slowly, careful not to tear the fabric around it; indeed the zipper was stuck, and Rui had to use both hands to try to free it. Her fingers grazed the bare skin of the other girl's back, and she felt the strongest urge to apologize, though she didn't know why. What's going on with me? Rui asked herself. Why am I getting so flustered? We're both girls...

At a later date Rui would recognize this moment as her gay awakening.

The zipper jam finally gave way and the metal teeth parted. Rui pulled the zipper down just far enough to make sure it was fixed, then jumped away. "Um, it's not stuck anymore."

The girl turned around and flashed Rui a smile that turned her insides out. "You're a life-saver," she said. "We haven't met before, have we?" She looked to Rui's uniform. "You must be a first year. I'm Tomoe Tamao. Hopefully in the future I can be a more reliable senpai to you."

Rui struggled to introduce herself, as if she had forgotten her own name. She was rescued by the unlikely appearance of a third year student.

"Ooh, looks like Tamao-chan has a fan!"

Rui's idol, Tamao, frowned. "Senpai, you left me all alone. I had to ask this nice first-year to help me with this faulty zipper."

"Don't complain. Plenty of girls at this school would jump at the chance for a little private attention from her."

"What do you mean?" Tamao asked. "Is she someone famous?"

"You don't know her? That tall glass of water is Akikaze Rui-chan. She's the talk of all the athletic clubs."

Rui blushed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Akikaze-san," Tamao said. "What club are you a member of?"

The third-year chuckled. "Akikaze-chan hasn't joined any clubs. That's why they're crazy about her. She's the tallest first year in the school, and she looks like she's only going to get taller. All the sports teams tried to recruit her at the start of the year, but she turned down all of them."

"Recruit" was a delicate way of putting it. The athletics clubs had practically waged a war over which of them would get to claim Rui. The poor girl had been forced to sneak around the school, dodging her athletic upperclassmen at every turn. For someone with social anxiety, the experience had been terrifying. It was all she could do to stutter out a polite rejection every time one of them found her. Eventually they got the message and left her alone.

"Um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rui said to Tamao. "N-not about the sports clubs! I want to join the drama club. Your performance this afternoon really inspired me!" In fact, it was the most moving performance she had seen, but she was afraid of coming on too strong by saying so.

Rui was afraid that her sudden declaration would weird her out, but Tamao's eyes glittered with joy. "That's wonderful!" She took Rui's hands in her own, oblivious to the way her kouhai stilled at the contact. "You can't imagine how glad I am to hear that our play touched somebody that way."

"Jeez, you can't be a respectable senpai if you melt over a little praise," the third year said with a laugh. "Tamao-chan takes her acting seriously. A little too seriously, if you ask me."

Tamao pouted (a sight that nearly knocked Rui off her feet). "You don't take acting seriously enough, senpai."

"Don't let the busybody scare you off, Akikaze-chan. Make sure you fill out an application form." The third year cackled as she walked off. "I can't wait to brag to the other clubs that we snagged their dream member right from under their noses."

"Honestly." Tamao sighed. "I know that she's busy preparing for entrance exams, but she could at least pretend to be diligent about acting. I promise the other members of the drama club aren't like her."

The other members of the drama club could be juvenile yakuza for all Rui cared. She only had eyes for Tamao. "I promise I'll give acting my all," she said, and she meant it. If she could act half as confidently as Tamao, she'd be satisfied. If she could perform alongside Tamao—that would be a dream come true.

"I look forward to taking the stage with you, Akikaze-san. Hopefully you'll have my back in the future as you did today," Tamao added with a chuckle.

Rui's heart skipped a beat at the reminder that she'd undone her senpai's zipper. "Uh, anyway, that senpai said you're really serious about acting. Do you want to be an actress?" For some reason she felt the need to know this near-stranger's life plans.

"Ideally, yes. "I'm going to enrol at Rinmeikan School for Girls, like my mother and grandmother before me. The school has a performance department with a century of tradition."

"I'm going to enrol too!" Rui, in fact, had never given a moment's thought to what high school she would attend. 

Tamao didn't question Rui's declaration, nor her transparent motivation. "I'm glad to hear it. Not enough people these days respect traditional arts." She smiled. "Maybe it was fate that we met today, Akikaze-san."

"Y-you don't need to speak so formally to me, Tomoe-senpai," Rui stuttered. Being referred to so stiffly made her feel odd for some reason. She wanted the two of them to become... closer. "You can call me by my first name. If you want to, I mean."

"Of course, Rui-chan. But if we're going to be friends, you'll have to return the favour." The corner of her mouth turned up into a sly smirk.

Rui blushed. Friends. Yes. That was good. Great. Fantastic. "If you say so, T-Tamao-senpai."

Three Years Later...

"Awwww! Baby Rui was so cute!" Ichie squealed. "She was still taller than her senpai even back then."

During a lunchtime picnic out on the school grounds, Fumi had idly expressed curiosity as to how Rui and Tamao had become friends in middle school. Tamao related her side of the story, embellishing Rui's "gallant rescue" of her from the gnashing teeth of a stuck zipper. She pulled out her cell phone and showed the group a picture of herself and the drama club's newest member, visibly flustered by her senpai's hand on her arm.

"Rui-chan has grown a lot," Tamao said with a smile. "She's changed so much in three years, but she's always been a talented, beautiful young woman."

"Three years, huh?" Fumi looked to Rui with pity.

"Let's see more," Yuyuko said with a devilish grin, no doubt hoping for something she could tease Rui with. She scrolled through Tamao's photos, revealing a seemingly limitless supply of pictures featuring Rui.

"...that's a lot of pictures of Rui," Fumi noted.

"We made a lot of memories together," Tamao said with a smile.

"I don't remember that!" Rui yelped, blushing up a storm. Displayed on Tamao's phone was a selfie that she had taken with Rui's head resting on her shoulder. She appeared to be asleep, and Tamao held a finger to her own lips in a shushing gesture. 

"That's pretty shady, Tamao-senpai," Yuyuko cackled.

"Is it a crime for me to keep pictures of my number one fan?" Tamao's subtle, sly smirk had lost none of its power of Rui.

[isweartoerenimnotjaeger]

Omg can you describe some headcanons in which Allen finds out he’s completely gay? How he deals with it, how he says it to Cross and his friends, to Tyki?

Headcanons in which Allen finds out he’s gay:

Ooo I love this ask! First of all…I haven’t introduced Tykiin my story yet (gahhh! Sorry Tyki!). I did introduce Road, Devit, and Jasderoin passing though since they’re all on the school’s dance team in my drabbles.I do plan on introducing him…I just haven’t found the right time to do so. Probablywhen Allen goes over to Road’s house sometime? At a dance competition? This isgoing to be long so please read under the cut. Also this is not a Tyki x Allen related thing (just a NOTP of mine but since there has been discourse lately, I’d thought I should say it because I don’t want hateful anons on it. I’d rather keep a safe distance from the discourse since shit is sort of hitting the fan in my life and I don’t have energy to deal with any part of that discourse right now.)

So, first, how does Allen figure out he’s gay?

In the beginning he thought Link was pretty when he firstmet him, but he never really thought about Link in that way. I mean, in mystory he starts out at age 8. All he cares about is ‘wow this wonderful,beautiful stranger is giving me food and he likes my voice!? Let’s be bestfriends!’. Later on, Allen found himself pining over male band members at theconcerts Cross would take him to, or the bands he would introduce him to overthe years. He had a major boy crush over Adam Lambert, Keith Murray from We Arethe Scientists, Alex Turner from Artic Monkeys, Andy Black from Black VeilBrides (Also could go under Andy Sixx), to name a few. Kellin Quinn fromSleeping With Sirens was also a favorite of his. That’s only to name a fewthough haha, his heart still belongs heavily to Adam Lambert, though Andy Blackcomes in close second. (Andy Black and Kellin Quinn are my person projectionsonto Allen lol. No regrets!)

Allen would also pine over the boys he’d see in musicals(there was a time he was heavily into Zac Efron because his eyes, oh my god hiseyes!). Chris Pine was pretty hot. He played Prince Charming in Into the Woods.Sadly…I am not too hardcore into musicals (but I will be because I will do sofor Allen and my drabbles. Also, my friends who shun me because I don’t seemusicals).

Allen isn’t too bothered with it though. He’s still fairlyyoung and he doesn’t quite know that his interests are heading in thatdirection. He has an inkling, but he’s not bothered by it until he begins tofan boy at school about the guys he’s seen in concert or actors that he hascome across over the years. The kids begin to call him gay, fag, or give himweird looks because ‘Why are you that excited over a guy? What about the big breastedactresses?’ Allen writes it off that he’s just being a fan boy over theirsinging and acting, it wasn’t like he was pining after them or whatever. Hejust loved them for their talent…and they just happened to look sexy. That’sit. That’s all.

It didn’t hit full force until he got to see Tyki, Road’suncle, for the first time. (And before ya’ll get on my ass about this. No, Idon’t ship Tyki and Allen nor do I send hate on it. But Tyki is a sexy dude andI can totally see little Allen being all “Oh wow this guy is a super model! Ohgod I’m gay!”) Allen just stares up at Tyki all open mouthed and in awe because“Oh my god this is the sexiest man alive.” He ends up running away from Tykibecause he’s scared, embarrassed, and he’s having a major boy crush moment.

During all this, Cross figures out indirectly because hetried to introduce Allen to female vocalists that were smoking hot, actors, youname it, but the kid didn’t show as much enthusiasm as he did with men. Thatwasn’t to say he was disinterested in them. If they were talented and had abeautiful singing voice, he loved them. There was a difference between his fanboying over men and fan boying over women though. Cross also gets inklings ofit through the way Allen dresses and how he liked to play in make-up. That wasn’tto say it was something that said, “oh my god my son is gay”, I mean the kidwas good with make-up. He could be good with it and be totally straight. That’swhy they were only ‘inklings’. He kept his concerns to himself though andstayed open-minded.

(I headcanon Cross to be very open-minded. He was rebelliousas a kid and even now, he ran with society’s outcasts, the people that peopleturned their noses up at. He learned to be open minded because of the people heran. He also learned it through his annoyance at other people thinking he was abad kid because he couldn’t sit all nice and still in a desk and spit outinformation like a computer. I will write a drabble more on Cross’s backstorylater).

First person Allen tells that he is gay to? Jeryy. Jeryyworks at the school cafeteria and he’s become like a second or third mom toAllen. (Second or third because I have an OC secretary at the school who knowsCross well and became good friends with him when he was a teen). Jeryy is Allen’sabsolute safe space/comfort space. Jeryy provides food, advice, and a listeningear. Allen didn’t feel nervous at all.

Going to his list of friends though. Oof. Out of everyone,Lenalee, Alma, Kanda, Link, Lavi, his dance team members, Allen chose Kanda. Iknow crazy right? Well, he tells Kanda because Kanda can keep a secret. IfAllen ever had a serious problem, Kanda had his back. They may bicker and fightbut in the end they are there for each other. Kanda was also the type to beblunt and he can usually keep his cool…usually if the situation is seriousenough. Allen was scared shitless to tell him because he didn’t want his headto be sliced off or something because he was gross or something. He tells Kandaat his house in his little ‘sensory room’ that Tiedoll made for his boys. Kandais all “So what? That’s it? I thought someone died or something.”

Kanda is not the typeto blab to someone else, like Alma is (mostly when he gets too excited. Hedoesn’t mean to poor dear. He ends up being last.). Lenalee, she’s trustworthybut it’s her damn brother Allen can’t trust! He didn’t want Komui to overhearit. She becomes next when Allen can find a good spot to tell her. He didn’tfeel quite as nervous as he was with Kanda, but he still was. He was mostlynervous about Komui somehow hearing and telling people (seems like wheneverLenalee is in trouble or if there was a boy around, Komui somehow poofed intoexistence right there to defend his dear Lenalee!). I don’t headcanon Komui asbeing someone who gossiped over something as serious as this, this is purelyjust Allen’s worried thinking. Lenalee was all tearful and happy that he toldher.

Lavi is next. Lavi is hurt he wasn’t the first one told(even though, like Cross, he had a pretty good idea), but he gets over it. Hefigures out that it’s only because Allen was afraid of losing him as his ‘mostbestest best best friend’ in the whole world. Allen was dreadfully nervousbecause Lavi was his first friend he made since Mana’s death and he couldn’tbear the thought of not being friends with him anymore. Lavi is in tears whenAllen tells him, both out of hurt, but also more hurt that Allen would everthink that they wouldn’t be friends anymore. I mean they were ‘bestest bestbest friends’ and those kinds of friends didn’t break up over something likethis! Like bro, if you killed someone and needed to hide the body, I would hidethe body with you, no questions asked! Bro, I’ll get our alibis lines up, fakei.d’s, anything bro!

Link and the dance team? They knew. Oh, they fucking knewit. Link probably knew it before anyone else ever but was not ‘openly admittedto’ until after the whole friend group. Allen was blabbering about his boycrushes and his worries over being gay to Link for forever. Link became Allen’s‘hitting board’ for his thought processes and Link usually stayed silentallowing him to blabber to himself. He’d chime in with a piece of informationhere and there. He knew Allen was battling with himself over whether or not hewas gay. Allen didn’t settle on being gay and openly admitting it to him untilafter Alma was told and the other team members. Link didn’t react to Allenbeing gay until he admitted it officially to Link. Link’s reaction was morealong the lines of “I’m happy that you are no longer conflicted anymore. Thanksfor officially telling me, shall I make some tea?” Everyone else on the danceteam was all “Well jee, that’s not a shock. Congratulations on finally comingto terms with it, we’ve waited eons. We still love you.” Alma was all “OH MYGOD ALLEN I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU TOLD ME I SUPPORT YOU 100% OH MY GOOOODD!”complete with tears and glomping.

To Tyki? Lol. Tyki knew the moment the kid laid eyes on himthat he was a flaming gay. It was awkward as fuck for Allen to tell Tyki “Ohhey, by the way I’m gay. So, you can tell Sheril that so he can stop being allsuspicious with me around his daughter. Fyi, you were my sexual awakening.”Tyki is all “Yeah I knew the first time I met you. I am the reason for manypeople’s sexual awakenings. Glad I could help.”

Road’s reaction is all “Awwhhh…and I was seriously hoping wecould be married. Oh well, Lenalee is looking pretty cute. Maybe she’ll marryme.”

Devit and Jasdero are all “So does that mean we can make gayjokes towards you now and it won’t be considered insulting?”

Cross was dead last. Anita came before Cross and even then,Allen was beyond nervous. He thought he was going to die. Cross was at work andAllen was brushing through her hair like he does a lot. He’s been putting offtelling them, thinking it would be better to keep his mouth shut until he was18 and out of the house. His friends kept telling him that he should reallytell them soon. They were going to find out eventually. I mean what if hedecided to date a boy from school? So, Allen paused and just blurted it out. Hedidn’t really notice he said it until it was out in the open. He was about torun and hide until Anita hugged him and was all “Oh honey I knew it a long timeago but thank you for telling me. I’ll always love you no matter what. Did youtell your father?”

So yeah, Cross was dead last. Allen just couldn’t approachhim with it. When he thought about it and how he’d react (which was usually badin his thoughts) he’d start crying. Cross knew something was off with the weekleading up to it. Allen was more withdrawn from him than usual, he didn’t eatas much as he usually does. Finally, Anita had enough and so did Cross. Anitadecided she’d give Allen a little push and urged Cross into going to a prideparade and taking Allen with him.

“Why do I have to do that? I mean the kid should know I’mnot going to judge him for it. I never judged him for wanting to wear dressesor playing in make-up.”

“You always wonderedif Allen was gay, so why don’t you take him to the parade? You know some of thepeople going there. If he sees that you’re supportive of the community then hemight open up more. There’s a difference between saying your accepting andactually showing you are.”

So Cross takes Allen to the pride parade. Allen is sonervous he refuses to eat, he’s already super suspicious because ‘why the helldid Cross take me here’? His nervousness slightly dissipates when he sees Crossinteract with some of the LGBTQ+ members, a lot of them were past friends hegot acquainted with in his youth. He was still nervous though because ‘he mayaccept people who are different but he might not accept me because I hit closerto home’ (this is an issue I struggle with myself when it comes to my dad whois supportive of my gay cousin…but may not be supportive of his own daughterbeing bi). So, they wander around, talk to people, etc. Allen is heavily withdrawnthrough the whole thing and that is a huge red flag for Cross that somethingwas wrong. He also didn’t want to push Allen into it though. It was hard to seehim struggle through the whole day though. Finally, Allen couldn’t take thenervousness anymore. He was getting light-headed and exhausted from not eatingall day because he’s so nervous. So, they’re just sitting there, alone,watching the sunset, and Allen’s bottom lip begins to tremble.

He begins to cry because he wants to say it but it’s so hardbecause he’s afraid Cross was going to yell at him or kick him out.

“Kid. Just tell me what’s up.” Cross said, tired of Allenstruggling with himself and making himself sick because of it.

“Dad…I’m gay…” Allen choked out, openly sobbing.

Cross hummed, thinking over his words a little bit beforeblurting out, “Hi gay I’m Dad.”

It was the most unnerving, stupidest things that Cross hasever said (he usually does not do dad jokes) but the kid was so nervous andshit, he thought he needed to say something stupid to dissipate the heaviness.

“W-What?” Allen asked, confused and thinking that Crossthought he was joking.

“That’s what was eating at you this whole time? For a second,I thought you got ahold of drugs and didn’t think to share with me. Unless youare on drugs, in which case I will beat your ass.”

“So, you’re not mad…?”

“Fuck no. Why should I be mad? I could think of many otherthings to be pissed about like the fact you still didn’t clean your room like Itold you to. Well okay, I am a little mad because now I have to change the sextalk to you a little bit. I’m also pissed you were worried sick over this thewhole damn time. Jesus, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Cuz I thought you were going to kick me out…”

“I could think of a better reason to kick you out than overbeing gay. God with all the shit I’ve done over the years the one who should bekicked from the house is probably me,” Cross said, ruffling up Allen’s hair, “Nowcome on, you didn’t eat all day and Anita will burn me alive if she finds out.”

Cross also got Allen a flag to hang in his room

[blueinkblot]

Fuck ton of asks! 3, 9, 10, 12, 15, 16, 17, 24, 28, 29, 31, 34, 37, 42, 43, 48, 54, 65, 66, 71, 77, 86, 95, 96, 98

This is for the gay-ish asks

3 - what is your favorite part about your body?

My mind. Done.

9 - weird habit?

IIIIIIII can’t think of one right now?

My roommate would probably say leaving the bathroom door open once I’m done in the bathroom.

10 - favorite meme?

YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

Nah, it’s probably “guess I’ll just die”, the one with the dude shrugging, because you can use it everywhere.

12 - ever used a bow and arrow?

Hell yes. It’s exhilirating. Mind you (for those of you who know bows) it’s only like a 12-15 lb. force bow, but it’s GREAT.

15 - do you think musicals are cheesy?

Real talk? I used to before I really got them.

But now I have somebody in my family who wants to do musical theater, so… nah, they’re awesome.

16 - have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Yep! Women’s march two years ago at my university.

17 - favorite Cards against Humanity card?

Ah fuck.

“A decent fucking Internet connection” or “A cop that is also a dog.”

24 - what’s something most people love that you hate?

Dresses/skirts is what I’m gonna go with rn. Partially because I wear my pancreas and so I have to have somewhere to put it (*cough* pockets *cough*), but also because I feel exposed in a skirt of either sort.

Although I did love my senior prom dress something fierce.

29 - describe your passion without mentioning it

Words on a page. The smell of ink and old books. Finding *just* the right pen to use on that paper. Not filling half of your notebooks. Finding inspiration in everything and nothing. Stringing together 50,000 words in a month just because you want to, but being unable to fill 2 pages for a class.

31 - give us one thing about you that no one knows

Bah, I’m going to go easy on this one since you all can’t see me.

I have vitiligo! I’m like a really slowly moving, human lava lamp.

34 - what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Lots of them.

“Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. Just… me bouncing around everywhere.

37 - something you fantasize about?

I answered this on another set of asks, but being famous? Like, on the red carpet, hanging out with celebrities famous.

Also getting one-upping people from my past who thought I was weird. Not… the healthiest thing, but we all have our fantasies.

42 - the last time you felt broken?

hmm… working out. I think I have this perception of myself, and when I can’t physically do something it really puts me off. (This was, like, a month ago? I think?)

43 - are you starting to realize anything?

This was something I was going to say for #3 (the body one) - that my body is mine. Like, my mom hates the idea of piercings (beyond the lobe) or tattoos (at all), but I’m getting to the age where I’m on my own and my body is mine.

48 - do you have any kinks?

Yes.

(This is another one that I’ve answered - partially in this case, because I don’t want people looking me up later and find a defined, spelled-out list of my kinks)

54 - is trust a big issue for you?

I think for friends, no, but there’s a certain point that I hit for relationships - well, maybe it’s not only trust but also boredom? And a little bit of fear? I say it’s a trust thing because I worry I don’t want to get into relationships with people. Like I can get to know people all day (in fact, it’s how I prefer things), but the thought of actually consistently dating sort of freaks me out and I just… stop texting people.

65 - favorite term of endearment?

I think I call a lot of people darling in my head. It can be a lot of things - sweet, sophisticated, raunchy, you name it.

66 - who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

MARGAERY. FUCKING. TYRELL.

Her first scene is, like, at the Tournament of the Roses or whatever that is in Highgarden, I think, and she’s like cheering or something, and those gowns… oof.

That makes it sound super objectifying - but honestly, I think the thing I loved most about her was her cunning and her kindness to Sansa and her ability to love no matter what. But she’s suuuuuuper pretty as well.

Game of Thrones was, like, a total bi experience for me - it was her and Jaimie Lannister. *fans self*

71 - who was the first person you came out to?

My mom. It was… not the reaction I hoped for.

77 - is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes. Mostly because I feel like people would think of me differently if they knew.

86 - hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Reactionary answer is neck kisses because yes. (I haven’t been kissed either way but… still.)

95 - do you have a favorite lesbian ship? Is it canon?

Ahhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuck.

I think it’s Lena Luthor x Supergirl/Kara Danvers - SuperCorp, I think? I don’t believe it’s canon and I even think the actress who plays Supergirl was ugly about Kara not being gay, too.

But Katie McGrath is a gift. (And I loved her as Morgana in “Merlin”)

96 - what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

Okay it’s not even the “oh bisexual people are more likely to cheat” or “bisexual people are half gay, half straight”, but it was the fact that I was on Tinder (which I KNOW is a hookup app, don’t even tell me) and had a couple like me that specifically had “looking for a bisexual third” in their profile. It’s like, you don’t know that I’ll like both of you.

98 - what is love to you?

Love is… selfless. And while I don’t mean giving relentlessly, I mean caring about somebody because it’s them and you like who they are. You like the things they like, maybe not on their own, but because it makes them happy. 

It’s feeling connected to somebody because you *know* them - how they tick, what they do, etc. I find knowing people comforting, and so to me gift giving is sort of like a test of how well you know them - if they light up when they see what you found for them, it’s like a confirmation of “oh, the way I think of them is right” sort of thing? That makes it sound sort of cold and calculating, I think, but that’s what I’m gonna brain dump now.

thanks @nonesofjune!

[honeysuckle-venom]

even numbers for the wlw ask?

Thank you so much for asking! I’m so excited! This might get a little long :)

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls

When I was 14 I met a girl at theater camp named Emma. I had suspected I might like girls before then, but getting to know her was when I really knew. She was the first girl I had ever met who was out, she had short hair and self confidence and she was a great actress, and it was kind of a classic first gay crush situation. We actually became best friends for several years, and luckily my crush disappeared after a while.

4. do you have a crush at the moment?

Thankfully no, I don’t. I’m not in a place to have a relationship right now, so it’s just as well that I’m not interested in anyone.

6. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Um…any? All? I don’t really know. I tend to be more instantly attracted to masculine/androgynous girls, but I’m pretty flexible about it. It comes down much more to personality.

8. what’s your gaydar like?

A lot better than it used to be, but still not very good.

10. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Yes

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like?

I really don’t think I do, at least not physically. Kindness, humor, and intelligence are fairly important. Our values would have to mostly match. It’s also kind of important they either be Jewish or at least be very accepting of and supportive of my religious beliefs and observance.

14. what’s your favourite personality trait for a girl to have?

I’m going to have to go with kindness/compassion

16. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes, several!

18. do you like the lesbian flag?

Hmm. It’s such a debated topic right now, but I don’t know a whole lot about it. I know there are complaints that the creator was transphobic, and there might be some other problems? I think it’s pretty, and none of the new ones have caught on enough to serve as a symbol for the community, which is important to have, but I do think it would be good to switch to make it explicit that trans and nb women are welcome in the lesbian community. 

20. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Fictional: Luna Lovegood. Celebrity: Eliza Dushku as Faith Lehane in Buffy

22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?

Hmm. I like a lot of them, especially a lot of wlw musicians, but since I just watched The Umbrella Academy at this instant it’s Ellen Page (that changes though).

24. who was the first person you came out to (if you have)?

The first person I came out to was actually Emma, the girl who made me realize I was gay

26. have you found a community of lgbt+ people?

Kind of? My college had a huge percentage of lgbtq people, and all of my friends except one are in the lgbtq community. That said, I’m in the middle of nowhere and it would be nice to be part of a larger community outside of my friend group.

28. do you identify with butch/femme labels?

That’s something I’ve actually been trying to figure out for myself. I have a lot of reading I need to do. In some ways I could definitely identify as a femme lesbian; I pick and choose what femininity I want to perform, and I perform it exclusively for myself and other women. But there are aspects of butch/femme culture I need to learn more about before deciding to use the label for myself.

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

I’m looking forward to being in a place in my life where I have a healthy relationship with open communication, emotional support as well as emotional space, passion and reliance without codependency, etc. It will be a while before I’m ready for that, but once I am I’m really looking forward to a relationship.

Thank you again for asking! This was really nice to do!

[margarittet]

“Tombstone” (1993): cowboys and gay subtext

Disclaimer: I wrote this text long time ago, when we first heard the title of the episode, and we knew perfectly nothing about the plot - I just somehow never got to posting it. Back then I never DREAMED that we will be getting Cas and Dean roleplaying Texas rangers, and running around in cowboy hats. (What a time to be alive!) Anyway, I hope this little rant about how “Tombstone” (1993) is relevant to tomorrow’s episode will still be fun to read.

Disclaimer 2: I do not equal effeminate/weak bodied/flamboyant = gay, just different from the surroundings in the context of this movie. At the same time, the movie uses cheap stereotypes to characterize their characters in subtext.  It is 1990s, and this is not good, but it happened back then.

File it under the “Things I do because of my “Supernatural” obsession”: I watch and read stuff I hadn’t expected to before I started watching the show - you know, like a 1993 western telling the story of the legendary gunman Wyatt Earp and his two brothers, hunting and killing some Old West gang of outlaws in a frontier town.

Nevertheless, I did watch it, and now I will write about it because I am painfully aware that episode 13x06 is called “Tombstone”, that it has a western theme, and that it’s an episode by the writer who gave us “Stuck in the Middle with You” (12x12). It is therefore quite possible that the source material is relevant to the final product - plus with Tarantino being a western buff, it all connects nicely.

I will not speculate about the actual episode since we have almost nothing to go on at the moment - besides a few pictures from which we can gather a couple of facts:

The boys are most probably in Dodge City at some point (we saw pictures from the set saying “Dodge City” on one of the buildings). The city is about 3,5 hour drive from Lebanon - where the bunker is - and it was here Wyatt Earp was the sheriff before he moved to Tombstone. It also is “the cowboy capital of the US” because of it being the main city on the old “cattle trail”, famous for its cow markets and for its gunfights. We saw Dodge City on the show once before when Krissy’s dad was attacked in “Adventures in Babysitting”, but otherwise this is the first time we visit it,

We also know that at some point we will visit a cowboy-themed motel.

[While all of this gives us no story hints whatsoever, I think it’s safe to assume that the keywords for the episode are “cowboys” and “western”. Since Davy Perez’ most noteworthy episode last year was Tarantino themed, I am not remotely surprised this season for him is “westerns” (he is also bringing us the train heist episode later this season - yes, please.)]

I can, however, present the movie “Tombstone” that may or may not have something to do with the final episode (we’ll see). As I am aware that not everyone is as dedicated (read: bored and obsessed) as me to check out every pop culture reference on the show, I decided to share my newly aquired wisdom with the class.

Ok, so the story. The movie tells a (rather idealized) version of the shootout that occured in the frontier town of Tombstone, Arizona, between Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan Earp (plus their friend, Doc Holliday) and the gang of outlaws who called themselves “the Cowboys” - known as the gunfight at OK Corral. I will talk just about the movie here (since the historical truth is a little different, and a compare-and-contrast historical analysis is not what we need right now).

So, Wyatt Earp got famous being the marshall of Dodge City, while also being a pacifist and trying to avoid starting conflicts as much as possible. Tombstone was supposed to be his retirement - he wanted to settle down, finally having his family around, and earn some money for a comfortable and silent life. He came to Tombstone together with his two brothers and their wives; upon arrival, he found out that his best friend, Doc Holliday, also ended up in the town, searching for his luck and trying to cure his TB - an illness that will later kill him at the age of 35. 

We meet Wyatt Earp when he has people closest to his heart right around him, and is very content with his life. He is also very adamant to leave the past and the fame behind, and start a completely new chapter in Arizona. The Earp brothers find out very quickly, however, that Tombstone is very far from the sleepy abode the name might suggest. The town is full of colourful characters - gamblers, gunslingers, preachers, prostitutes, outlaws etc. And of course there is a conflict boiling just below the surface.

Unwillingly, one by one the Earp party is pulled back into being the law officers again, and into the bloody frontier war.

SPOILERS AHEAD (you know, if you wanna watch the movie yourself)

So many themes here that remind me of SPN!

We have a duty bound man who meets a maverick and outgoing woman. She offers him excitement and adventures, and of course he falls for her, but doesn’t let himself have what he wants because of his mission, his situation (he was married at the time), and the need to act honourably. He is, however, perfectly aware of his feelings and that a part of this behaviour is fear of following his heart because he had never done this before in his life;

It takes a death of his closest friend to realize life is too short, and he should go for what he wants, which he does;

Before this, however, he follows the murder of one of his brothers by going on a shooting spree, and killing every bad guy he can find until they all are eradicated,

There is also so much gay subtext between two of the characters that the movie is always mentioned when “gay westerns before Brokeback Mountain” are discussed.

“Tombstone” as a lesson in gay subtext:

It is never mentioned in the movie that Billy Zane and Jason Priestley’s characters are gay. Yet, it is so obvious from the way they are portrayed that even people who are not used to reading subtext are perfectly aware the two characters are most probably lovers.

The characterization

The first thing we notice is the look of the characters. The two man are both dressed in a way that differenciates them from the enviroment around them - Billy Zane’s Fabian is completely different from the masculine world of the Old West, with his soft hair, boyish good looks, clean shaven face, and elaborate outfits.

Jason Priestley’s Billy is more in accordance with the tough world of Tombstone - he is the deputy sheriff after all, and can be tough when needed - but still, in his time off he is portrayed as soft, effeminate, especially while contrasted with the criminals he usually runs with. His outfit is not too different from everyone else’s, but he is the only person to wear a bowtie (everyone else wears neckties or bandanas) and spectacles. He is portrayed as a slightly weaker and more vulnerable person.

Exposition in relation to other characters

The two characters sexuality is shown, not talked about, especially through the kind of interractions they have with other people.

We meet Fabian when he steps out of a carriage, all confident, flamboyant, well-groomed and witty. His person awakens the reaction in the manly-men of the West, which is shown by Morgan Earp asking the local sheriff “What kind of town is this?” (at which point Wyatt shushes him, as if he said something offensive). 

To hammer the point home, Fabian is an actor who travels with a gorgeous woman, but obviously has no sexual interest in her - they are best buddies who ogle the Earps together, and comment on their attractiveness.

As for Billy, we meet him when he arrives at the theatre to see the actors’ performance, and right away he is shown bullied by the Cowboys. The quips obviously refer to his sexuality (“Hey, sister boy, gimme some!”). He doesn’t try to shoot them down, just tries to avoid being touched. Quickly he is “saved” by the leader of the gang, and seated beside him. Shortly afterwards the camera shows us the difference between the Cowboys and the deputy sheriff’s approach to Fabian onstage (mocking vs in awe).

Later, during a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, Billy grabs Fabian in the saloon, and cordially invites him to his table. This is the last time we see the two men together, alive.

Fast forward to the end of the movie: Billy is riding around with the Cowboys while Wyatt Earp runs around, shooting everything he can find. The outlaws stop a carriage and find the actress and Fabian in the back: the actor is dead, shot by the Cowboys. Everything here happens completely beside the dialogue and the rest of the scene. Billy watches dead Fabian while the actress holds her dead friend, and angrily discusses the war with the leader of the gang.

(Just for your viewing pleasure, I created THIS GIFSET of the scene)

It is never said out loud that Bily and Fabian are lovers. It is still pretty damn obvious. It is perfectly clear from the way they are presented, their interactions with other characters, and the (very limited) onscreen interactions with each other.

“Tombstone” is a cowboy movie that takes a step towards the actual reality of the Wild West, and makes it almost textual. Homosexuality was a natural part of the cowboy lifestyle - it was after all a society full of men, where the men to women ratio was around 8:1. Everyone had needs, not everyone had money, and love and sexual encounters between men were as common as in any other, similar enviroment. There is a reason why the uber-masculine cowboy stereotype is one of the main figures in American gay iconology - think everything from “Midnight Cowboy” to The Village People and “Brokeback Mountain”.

Why Davy Perez chose to call his episode after the kettle-market town in Arizona, but also after the movie with such a strong gay subtext?

WE MAY NEVER KNOW!

[brooklynfireproof]

Eliza Hittman’s New Film “Beach Rats” Premieres at Sundance Film Festival This Month With Scenes Shot In The Seltzer Room Studios!

Progress—be it economic or social—is always uneven. A microcosm of this harsh truth is Brooklyn, a borough that commands some of the highest real estate prices in the city of New York, but where two out of five households fall below the minimum income for self-sufficiency. Eliza Hittman’s Beach Rats touches on this inequality by virtue of its location (Gerritsen Beach, a neighborhood in far South Brooklyn so far untouched by developers) and protagonist, a young adult who has extremely limited prospects in life or love.

At first blush, Frankie (wide-eyed newcomer Harris Dickinson) seems to be a typical beach rat: unemployed, blonde, and buff. He spends most of his time getting high with friends and wandering around Jacob Riis Park, but there’s an undercurrent of insecurity and unhappiness that his swagger can’t hide. Frankie’s father is dying (which provides him with a steady supply of painkillers), and at night he frequents a ChatRoulette-like gay cruising site. Over the course of the summer, he attempts a relationship with cute and confident Simone (a sharp Madeline Weinstein), but also becomes more confident about meeting up with guys. Eventually, his private desires and daytime friends meet in a harrowing seaside confrontation.

Like her previous feature, It Felt Like Love (2013), Hittman’s camera hones in on these youthful bodies, intimately documenting their moments of uncertainty and states of becoming. Film Comment Digital Editor Violet Lucca spoke with Hittman about fashioning this slight but powerful narrative last week in a coffee shop in (gentrified) South Williamsburg.

What was the genesis of the story? Did you talk to men about their sexuality and coming of age? How did it begin?

I was struggling after It Felt Like Love for a couple of years to figure out what exactly the film world was expecting me to make next. And I was very lost in trying to navigate both the industry and how to have a career and all of those things. So I decided not to think about any of those things and just go back and do what I had done before, but on a broader canvas. There were a couple of moments that I took note of while I was shooting It Felt Like Love. We were shooting along the water and we noticed that there was still a lot of cruising happening, and that was one thing I filed away in my mind. I cast a couple of kids from Gerritsen Beach, Brooklyn, and those boys are called “beach rats,” and I took note of that being a good title for something. When I got to Sundance in 2013, I started pitching another movie with the title Beach Rats that was about these guys. Throughout It Felt Like Love I did a lot of looking through Facebook pages and appropriating images, and I found one image that became the generative image for the film.

I was also thinking a lot about the guys from It Felt Like Love and how isolated they are class-wise and how those neighborhoods have a long history of violence that erupts when you introduce any otherness into an isolated group. They’re very far from the subway and they don’t have a lot of opportunity. Those were the things circulating in my mind when I started writing the film. I wanted to explore male sexuality as a kind of a companion—even though I have been told not to call it a companion to It Felt Like Love—but the characters are very similar to me. They’re both trying to conform to expectations around them even though they don’t quite fit into their worlds.

You really nailed that feeling of deep, deep South Brooklyn, and also the widespread use of Oxycontin and painkillers, which nobody really talks about.

I was aware of it also because some of the kids in It Felt Like Love had big meth problems. There was a kid in It Felt Like Love that was a hip hop artist named Nyck Caution and a lot of the music that he was writing was about how all of his friends had become heavily addicted to pills. I think that all those issues go hand-in-hand—isolation, no opportunities, drugs, and what it means to contend with identity issues in that world.

It shows the paradox of modern life where everyone is super-connected all the time because of smartphones and the Internet—anytime he wants he can dial up a guy for marijuana—

—It’s all just for drugs!

But also sealing yourself away and taking pills to a point where you can’t even articulate anything.

And the general inarticulateness of guys that age especially when dealing with things that they don’t know how to process, and then it kind of implodes and explodes. It will create a disastrous event either for them or for somebody else.

Male sexual awakening is taken for granted in film. Guys are made to seem like they were born horny, or it’s just treated as setups for jokes. Did you talk to men about their experiences or were you transposing your own experience onto this?

I took a lot of experiences I had with vulnerable men and learning how they cope with their own fragility in bed, and wrote from my own experiences. It was hard, at first, wondering, “Can I tell this story?” And then I thought about how so many of my favorite films about female sexuality have been written by men. So I gave myself permission to try. Beach Rats is not a coming-of-age story or a coming-out story. I think about it as coming to consciousness about who you are, which can be a painful process for people.

There’s been a lot of discussion about Moonlight representing—I don’t even want to call it a “coming-out story”—

It’s not a coming-out story. He never comes out.

Right! But Moonlight has been criticized for not being explicit enough in terms of representing sex.

As a filmmaker, I wish I could be more explicit, but it’s just so impossible in this country.

For ratings reasons?

For ratings reasons, casting purposes. In films like Stranger by the Lake they use body doubles, and it was a lot to ask from the financing company. I knew that I wanted to attempt to normalize male nudity in the film without being overtly provocative, but I knew there was a line that I couldn’t cross.

With It Felt Like Love, your lead actress flagged things in the script that she didn’t feel comfortable with. Can you talk about working with non-actors again, and if you went through a similar negotiation?

I didn’t. At first when the casting director and I started sending the script out, I got very negative responses from agents who were very flippant, and saying, “All this male nudity and gay sex!” It wasn’t something they wanted their clients to go up for, so I wasn’t drawing from a huge pool of actors. Harris Dickinson, who plays the lead role, actually sort of snuck into the mix of casting tapes from an L.A. office and I didn’t know he was actually U.K.-based. He sort of tricked us. He was 100 percent committed from the beginning and had zero questions about that stuff. He had watched my other film and knew it would be handled sensitively and delicately and he knew the crew was going to be small, so we didn’t have the same dialogue. He was a bit older too—he was 19. He was very brave and very committed and knew what he had signed up for and there was no backpedaling.

Do you feel that it is important to push that line of explicitness or showing things that aren’t often shown?

I do. I really liked Love, the Gaspar Noé film, because I thought the sex was staged so beautifully and it was very balletic. I am intrigued with films that push those boundaries. But it’s hard to do that as a filmmaker here. You will always be battling and you always have to choose your battles, and it’s hard enough to get your movie made in the first place!

I was surprised to find out that Harris is from the U.K.

He’s from a similar area in London. Along the water in Gerritsen Beach it’s a mix of Irish and Italian-American and Russian and Albanian and Central Asian, so he blended in a convincing way, I hope. He understood the world without having been there at first.

It is such seamless casting, even though he’s got such Anglo features. It feels like he has to be from there, like a blonde Sicilian or something.

“He’s Irish-American!” was our justification.

The storyline with his terminally ill father, is that based on your own experiences with your mother being ill when you were in high school?

For me I have always associated adolescence with being surrounded by illness. And I was also thinking a little about The Stranger and the narrative of someone who loses a parent and does something unforgivable without being able to justify or process it.

-- Read the full interview here

[voldiebuns]

Oscars 2018

The Oscars are tonight, who's excited?? I don't tend to watch them except vicariously through tumblr, but I'm actually planning to watch live tonight. Part of it is that I feel like there's a lot of really good films nominated this year, part of it is that I've been getting more interested in the film industry as a whole. Plus my favorite podcast had a great episode about the nominations, plus several about individual nominees (Call Me by Your Name, Phantom Thread, The Post, The Shape of Water, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and various others). I sort of challenged myself to watch as many of the nominations as possible before the Oscars, though as there are iirc 69 things nominated, I knew I wouldn't get through them all. I do think I watched more than most years though, with a total of 7. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but I'm pretty sure I saw like 3 last year lol Most of them I even saw in theaters since I've been watching a lot more in theaters lately. (I will squee about MoviePass in another post sometime lol) I'll likely be liveblogging on my “Oscars 2018″ tag, so feel free to watch me be completely wrong in real time! Which is in not much time at all, wow this post took a long time to do...

Under the cut is my list of watched nominees plus short reviews, and my predictions.

Nominee Reviews

Beauty and the Beast I really only went to see this movie bc my friend had an extra ticket and I was her third string option lol I don't particularly care for Disney films in general and hadn't seen anything to interest me from the previews. I was unexcited about seeing it, and I remained underwhelmed lol I had a myriad of problems with it, from bad costume design (Belle's dress was just so so bad) to uncanny valley CGI (Cogsworth and Lumiere esp) to general boringness (not that that's entirely the fault of the adaption, since it's well, an adaption, but they didn't do anything to help). The only redeeming feature was Gaston and LeFou, both of whom I did really enjoy overall, and I even have complaints about that! Mostly that there was all the hullabaloo about "gay content, le gasp" and there was... none. One split second same sex dance does not gay content make imo. That is paltry rep and I'm not satisfied with that anymore tbh. The Breadwinner I just watched this last week when I happened upon it on Netflix, and I'm so glad I did. It was a beautiful movie, and so so heartwarming/heartbreaking. I was legit crying by the end. The story was wonderful, as was the animation. I tend to do other things on the computer when I watch movies, but I really got sucked into watching. I'm disappointed it didn't get more attention, but I really do highly recommend it. Get Out Just saw this one recently as well after hearing so many good things about it. All of which were certainly deserved. My horror movie experience is not terribly deep, but this was one of the best I've seen. It was so clever and so well acted, it's kind of amazing that Jordan Peele put out such a fantastic movie for his directorial debut. I actually watched Scream, which Get Out has been compared to a lot, on the same day, and tbh this was a much better and more intellectual film. Highly recommended. The Greatest Showman This is actually the only one I've seen twice (so far). I expected to like it since Hugh Jackman and musicals are two of my favorite things, but I liked it so much more than I even expected. Even on my second watch, I was on the edge of my seat for the suspenseful bits and crying for the angsty ones. The acting and singing was fantastic, as was the storyline. I know it deviates a lot from what actually happened, but honestly this movie was so heartwarming and beautiful that I don't even care. My only complaint is that there's been so little attention on the secondary characters, bc I found them so so fascinating! Logan Saw this one the other day after meaning to watch it since it came out. I was... disappointed tbh. I found the plot kind of stiff and confusing, and the acting for the most part was not particularly memorable. I'd heard a lot of good things about this, but I really didn't care for it. Definitely not one of the better XMCU films imo. The Shape of Water If you follow me on tumblr, you may have seen that I was like desperate to see this since I'm a huge del Toro fangirl, and I was really pissed that it took so long to come out where I am. But I finally got to see it and it was just as wonderful as I'd expected!! My only disappointment is that we didn't get to actually see any fish dick lol But seriously, this was a supremely beautiful movie with fantastic acting and fantastic characters. I think that's one of the things I liked best about it, that each of the characters was so distinct and so compelling. Like I had a really visceral reaction to the fingers scene (you should know what I mean if you've seen it...). I was so impressed by that, that the writing and the acting gave such life and depth to the characters and their stories. I was really just enthralled the whole way through <3 Star Wars: The Last Jedi And if you follow me on tumblr, you also know that I hated this movie lol Which was actually really disappointing, bc The Force Awakens was really good and I think that movie set up a really good start for this trilogy. Unfortunately, I don't think TLJ followed through with any of the interesting plotlines that had been set up. Mostly, this felt like an entirely pointless movie to me. It didn't move the plot forward at all really, and I felt it even went backwards (or sideways) on a lot of things. The characters were dull and many of their storylines (esp Finn, which was esp disappointing) didn't really go anywhere or ended up being totally superflous imo. I felt like Rian Johnson was more interesting in making a movie that would get him attention than in making a good Star Wars movie. It feels like just another mediocre white male director being handed the helm of a big franchise and fucking it up bc they have no respect for the franchise or its fans. Honestly, this movie was just so bad that I've lost almost all interest in Star Wars :/

Predictions

Best Picture: The Shape of Water It's gotten so much critical aclaim and already won so many awards, I feel pretty confident in this one. I would not be salty about Get Out winning instead, but although it got pretty great critical acalaim as well, I still think the Academy is still too racist, plus the fact that it's a horror movie, which is not a genre that is generally seen as legitimate in awards circles. Lead Actor: Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour” I had no interest in Darkest Hour since I hate war films, but everyone seems to love Gary Oldman in it. I don't necessarily think it's a deserved win compared to some of the other nominations, but I do think it's the likeliest. Lead Actress: Meryl Streep, “The Post” It's fucking Merly Streep, is there more that needs to be said? Supporting Actor: Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” I don't even know what this movie is about, but ppl seem to be loving it so... Supporting Actress: Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread” By all accounts a fantastic movie and a fantastic actress, though I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Director: “The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro No contest, really, since he's won all (or at least most?) of the other best director awards for the year. And I mean, he's my favorite director, so I'm certainly not mad lol Animated Feature: “Coco,” Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson I abolutely think The Breadwinner or Loving Vincent deserves it more, but I think this is one of the categories where most of the voters will not have watched the movies and it's a Disney movie, so of course it will win. Animated Short: “Revolting Rhymes,” Jakob Schuh, Jan Lachauer Since it's the only one I've even seen anything about lol Adapted Screenplay: “Call Me by Your Name,” James Ivory The only other one I think that has a chance in this category is The Disaster Artist, honestly. And I think that Call Me by Your Name is such an arty film gives it the boost. Original Screenplay: "The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor Lady Bird and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri have good chances here, too, but again, The Shape of Water has gotten so much acclaim. Cinematography: “Blade Runner 2049,” Roger Deakins Bc apparently Blade Runner is the epitomy of cyberpunk. Which is bullshit and The Shape of Water deserves it more but whatever. Best Documentary Feature: “Icarus,” Bryan Fogel, Dan Cogan Really I think it could go to any of them fairly equally, so it's more of a tossup imo. Best Documentary Short Subject: “Heroin(e),” Elaine McMillion Sheldon, Kerrin Sheldon Again, only one I've heard anything about in the category. Best Live Action Short Film: ? I literally have heard nothing so who knows! Best Foreign Language Film: “Loveless” (Russia) Yet again, only one I've heard anything about. Film Editing: “The Shape of Water,” Sidney Wolinsky I think this one's a bit of a free for all, so I just think The Shape of Water should get it lol Sound Editing: “Baby Driver,” Julian Slater Since this is basically the entire draw of Baby Drive afaik. Sound Mixing: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Stuart Wilson, Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick I don't think it's deserved tbh, but I think it's most likely. Production Design: “Beauty and the Beast,” Sarah Greenwood; Katie Spencer Again, definitely not deserved, but everyone went googoo over it's overall shitty production design so. Original Score: “Phantom Thread,” Jonny Greenwood I certainly wouldn't be mad if The Shape of Water won instead, but from what I've seen and heard, I think Phantom Thread has a really good chance. Original Song: “This Is Me” from “The Greatest Showman,” Benj Pasek, Justin Paul Really not sure whose going to actually win, but I really really think The Greatest Showman deserves it most. This Is Me is a spectacular song. Really, the whole soundtrack was amazing. Makeup and Hair: “Victoria and Abdul,” Daniel Phillips and Lou Sheppard Really the only choice out of the nominees. Costume Design: “Phantom Thread,” Mark Bridges I mean, it's basically what the movie is about, so it should win. Beaty and the Beast is the most likely other choice since it got a lot of attention when it came out, though I found the costume design there appaling. Visual Effects: “Star Wars: The Last Jedi,” Ben Morris, Mike Mulholland, Chris Corbould, Neal ScanlanIt's a tossup between Star Wars and Blade Runner 2049, but I think the greater nostalgia will win out. Who actually deserves it? Fuck if I know.

[demitgibbs]

Allison Janney Talks Tonya Harding’s Queerness, Girl Crushes

Allison Janney shares many of your concerns, like, what’s up with the president’s wild contradictions and flat-out lies? And what will happen to the LGBTQ community under his administration? And, of course, something we’ve all wondered from time to time, and an issue she definitely plans on addressing with her agent soon, because it’s high time: “Where are all my lesbian roles?”

Though her latest turn in I, Tonya is not queer by definition – but, as infamous figure-skating icon Tonya Harding’s mother (Harding is played by actress Margot Robbie), one of her very best and most Oscar-buzzy roles, so all is obviously forgiven – the chameleonic 58-year-old actress has delightedly dipped into some impressive gay fare both onstage and in film.

Here, the beloved and soon-to-be-lesbian-somewhere Emmy winner discusses Harding as a queer icon, identifying with the LGBTQ community as an “outsider” herself and kissing “a lot of cool women.”

LGBTQ people – we are all Tonya. Right? Everyone identifies with her.

Everyone can identify with Tonya because she’s struggling to have a voice, and the powers that be deemed that she was not worthy of having a voice in the figure skating world, didn’t think she fit in. It’s so classic. And then the press vilified her and we were all told what to believe about her, and we kind of believed it, because it was the advent of the 24-hour news cycle. Just spoon-fed to us every day: Tonya, bad; Nancy – princess, good.

So, to do this movie and to see all the different things that were at play in her life makes you have so much more empathy for her. And I was so excited to meet her at the premiere. She was there! I just wanted to hug her and hold her. Sometimes I’m not great with words, and I just wanted to hug her.

You play her disapproving monster of a mother, LaVona Golden, which will strike a chord with many people in the LGBTQ community who have experienced parental disapproval because of their sexuality.

Oh, sure!

Tonya has been called a gay icon. Do you see her as a gay icon?

I never have thought about it before, but now that you’re saying it, I understand the reasons why she would be.

She wanted to be loved for who she was.

Wanting to be loved for who she was! Absolutely, I can see why it would resonate with the gay community – with women too. With anyone who has felt like an underdog or not felt like they had a voice.

As I talk about this movie more and more to people like yourself, I’m learning more about it and why it’s resonating right now. It’s also the concept of truth and what that is, and you know, the media told us what to believe was true and we did, and now in this time that we’re living in with the president (being) wildly contradictory – it’s phenomenal to me what’s going on in the country and in our discourse, and (sighs) I just feel it’s one of the most divisive, scary times I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, certainly.

WATCH:

You mentioned Tonya as the “underdog,” a word you have also used to describe yourself.

Yeah.

Do you think that has anything to do with why you’ve attracted a doting LGBTQ following?

Maybe that’s it! I was always just told I was too tall to act and told I wasn’t pretty enough, that I didn’t have enough edge. Didn’t have this, that. Everyone in the business told me that, and it was heartbreaking to me; and yet I tried to find other things to do, but this was really the only thing I was really meant to be, this time ’round (laughs).

I think it might also just be the characters that I get to play. Some of them speak to the community because they are that underdog character – now I’m trying to make up a theory out of something I haven’t thought about (laughs). But I also think it’s that I love to bring the humanity to every character I play.

I’m sure that your gay fans also appreciate that you seem to enjoy randomly kissing women.

I do! (Laughs) Oh my gosh, I don’t know if you’ve seen my kiss with Cloris Leachman but that is, like, the best kiss.

Better than Kate Winslet even?

How about that moment?! That floored me. And I just thought, “Did she just say my name?” (Winslet gushed about Janney at the Hollywood Film Awards in November.) It was one of the funniest moments for me, and I thought, “How can I not just go up and kiss her?” I mean, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet – I’ve kissed a lot of cool women, and men!

In our 2016 interview, Meryl Streep told me kissing you was a real “perk.”

She said “perk”? I love her!

Is that what all the women say about kissing you?

I don’t know! Meryl is the only one I’ve gotten feedback on. Actually, no, Rosie! I got to kiss Rosie. Rosie said I was a good kisser. And Rosie O’Donnell is a great kisser, I have to say. She’s a very good kisser. On (the CBS sitcom) Mom, she plays a woman that I used to have a relationship with and there’s one episode where I kiss her a couple of times and it was really – she’s a good kisser! (Laughs)

What was the moment in your career you knew you had an LGBTQ following?

I feel like (1999’s) Drop Dead Gorgeous was the start of that for me. And it was a slow dawning, awakening, realization that was happening, and I thought that was the highest show of honor to be embraced by the gay community. It was like, “OK, you guys know.”

To me, it’s a high honor to be recognized and embraced by the gay community. I don’t want to say something stereotypical, but a lot of the men that I know, who are my dear friends have a real appreciation for women who are strong and powerful and kickass. They really, really love strong women. They’re not afraid of women the way that some heterosexual men are. But they love a strong dame. They love a dame! So, that’s high praise. It’s high praise coming from the gays. So I am thrilled that I am in that club.

Of the lesbian characters you’ve played, from Sally in The Hours to your lesbian roles in stage productions like Eve Ensler’s Ladies and Alan Ball’s Five Women Wearing the Same Dress, which do you wish you could’ve gotten to know more?

Probably my character in The Hours with Meryl. I would’ve liked to have gotten to know Sally and really explored that relationship. You know, my famous story with her with that kiss is that she gave me a facelift. She didn’t like the way we were lit in the scene and she said, “I’m gonna do you a favor, honey.” So she placed her hands on the side of my face and lifted it ever so gently. When you watch it next, look at that – it’s pretty great. A little Meryl lift. I got a little lift from Meryl. It was fantastic.

If you were to play another lesbian role, who would be your ideal co-star?

Whoa. Well, I kind of have a girl crush on Margot Robbie right now! (Laughs) She is so talented and so friggin’ beautiful – it’s kind of remarkable. I just find myself staring at her, like, how can anything be that beautiful? And she’s a really good actress, and you know, why not? Margot is on my mind right now, so I’m saying Margot.

There have been Tonya Harding impersonators, and after this film, I fully expect a few LaVona Golden queens.

Oh my god, do you really?

Her name alone is made for the stage at some gay bar, don’t you think?

It is a great name: LaVona! There was already someone on Halloween who dressed as LaVona. It was on Twitter and it made me laugh. It was a guy who dressed as LaVona, with the bowl haircut and the bird and the fur coat. It’s a real unique look.

#td_uid_1_5a4e58c054d5d .td-doubleSlider-2 .td-item1 { background: url(https://hotspotsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Allison-Janney-160x120.jpg) 0 0 no-repeat; }

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Allison Janney as LaVona Golden in I, Tonya

Does looking the part help you get into character?

Oh god, yes. With that, especially. It was three hours of hair and makeup getting that look with the bird, and it was really liberating too. I thought I was gonna be horrified and not be able to look at myself in the mirror, and it was fascinating – I wanted to look at myself all the time! I was like, “God, this is so cool!” It felt just so different, and I didn’t see myself. I felt really confident in doing what I had to do. The look was so perfect and so great, and it made me excited to do my scenes.

I hope you got to keep a piece of LaVona.

I didn’t! But I was thinking about seeing if that bird could be adopted because I kind of fell in love with him. He lives in southern Georgia and he’s so lovely. But I do have three dogs and I don’t want there to be an unfortunate situation there.

Yeah, maybe give it to somebody who doesn’t have an animal that will eat it.

Yes! That’s always something to think about before you get a bird. (Laughs)

You’ve said you like to use your platform and acting to support important causes, which you’ve done in projects like 2009’s Funny or Die’s Prop 8 – The Musical. Do you recall the point in your life or career when you became passionate about queer issues?

I have so many gay friends in my world, and having such close friends in the gay community made me more aware of different issues. So, I’d naturally get involved through my friends. It happened when I came out to L.A. and I was doing West Wing. Once you start becoming someone – you know, a celebrity person – you realize, “Actually, I could help just by showing up there and by doing this.” It was a wonderful thing to realize, that I could use my name for something good other than the acting.

Does it feel even more important right now to take on projects that can make a difference?

Yes, yes! It really does. And I don’t know what I’m gonna be asked to do next, but I hope that I will be able to contribute.

I think now is the right time for another lesbian role, just sayin’.

OK, alright. I’m gonna start looking for one. Will you start looking for one for me? Should I do a biopic of – I’m trying to think, what lesbian should I play? I think it’s gotta be a character that’s not written yet.

Considering your trove of lesbian parts, I’m surprised lesbian roles aren’t just rolling in for you.

I don’t know – I don’t think so! I’m gonna have to call my agent: “Where are all my lesbian roles?” Oh, a pioneering lesbian! Amelia Earhart. I don’t know if she was. I’m gonna get on that though. I’m gonna start looking. That’s a good thing to put in my head.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/01/04/allison-janney-talks-tonya-hardings-queerness-girl-crushes/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/169309383195

[hotspotsmagazine]

Allison Janney Talks Tonya Harding’s Queerness, Girl Crushes

Allison Janney shares many of your concerns, like, what’s up with the president’s wild contradictions and flat-out lies? And what will happen to the LGBTQ community under his administration? And, of course, something we’ve all wondered from time to time, and an issue she definitely plans on addressing with her agent soon, because it’s high time: “Where are all my lesbian roles?”

Though her latest turn in I, Tonya is not queer by definition – but, as infamous figure-skating icon Tonya Harding’s mother (Harding is played by actress Margot Robbie), one of her very best and most Oscar-buzzy roles, so all is obviously forgiven – the chameleonic 58-year-old actress has delightedly dipped into some impressive gay fare both onstage and in film.

Here, the beloved and soon-to-be-lesbian-somewhere Emmy winner discusses Harding as a queer icon, identifying with the LGBTQ community as an “outsider” herself and kissing “a lot of cool women.”

LGBTQ people – we are all Tonya. Right? Everyone identifies with her.

Everyone can identify with Tonya because she’s struggling to have a voice, and the powers that be deemed that she was not worthy of having a voice in the figure skating world, didn’t think she fit in. It’s so classic. And then the press vilified her and we were all told what to believe about her, and we kind of believed it, because it was the advent of the 24-hour news cycle. Just spoon-fed to us every day: Tonya, bad; Nancy – princess, good.

So, to do this movie and to see all the different things that were at play in her life makes you have so much more empathy for her. And I was so excited to meet her at the premiere. She was there! I just wanted to hug her and hold her. Sometimes I’m not great with words, and I just wanted to hug her.

You play her disapproving monster of a mother, LaVona Golden, which will strike a chord with many people in the LGBTQ community who have experienced parental disapproval because of their sexuality.

Oh, sure!

Tonya has been called a gay icon. Do you see her as a gay icon?

I never have thought about it before, but now that you’re saying it, I understand the reasons why she would be.

She wanted to be loved for who she was.

Wanting to be loved for who she was! Absolutely, I can see why it would resonate with the gay community – with women too. With anyone who has felt like an underdog or not felt like they had a voice.

As I talk about this movie more and more to people like yourself, I’m learning more about it and why it’s resonating right now. It’s also the concept of truth and what that is, and you know, the media told us what to believe was true and we did, and now in this time that we’re living in with the president (being) wildly contradictory – it’s phenomenal to me what’s going on in the country and in our discourse, and (sighs) I just feel it’s one of the most divisive, scary times I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime, certainly.

WATCH:

You mentioned Tonya as the “underdog,” a word you have also used to describe yourself.

Yeah.

Do you think that has anything to do with why you’ve attracted a doting LGBTQ following?

Maybe that’s it! I was always just told I was too tall to act and told I wasn’t pretty enough, that I didn’t have enough edge. Didn’t have this, that. Everyone in the business told me that, and it was heartbreaking to me; and yet I tried to find other things to do, but this was really the only thing I was really meant to be, this time ’round (laughs).

I think it might also just be the characters that I get to play. Some of them speak to the community because they are that underdog character – now I’m trying to make up a theory out of something I haven’t thought about (laughs). But I also think it’s that I love to bring the humanity to every character I play.

I’m sure that your gay fans also appreciate that you seem to enjoy randomly kissing women.

I do! (Laughs) Oh my gosh, I don’t know if you’ve seen my kiss with Cloris Leachman but that is, like, the best kiss.

Better than Kate Winslet even?

How about that moment?! That floored me. And I just thought, “Did she just say my name?” (Winslet gushed about Janney at the Hollywood Film Awards in November.) It was one of the funniest moments for me, and I thought, “How can I not just go up and kiss her?” I mean, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet – I’ve kissed a lot of cool women, and men!

In our 2016 interview, Meryl Streep told me kissing you was a real “perk.”

She said “perk”? I love her!

Is that what all the women say about kissing you?

I don’t know! Meryl is the only one I’ve gotten feedback on. Actually, no, Rosie! I got to kiss Rosie. Rosie said I was a good kisser. And Rosie O’Donnell is a great kisser, I have to say. She’s a very good kisser. On (the CBS sitcom) Mom, she plays a woman that I used to have a relationship with and there’s one episode where I kiss her a couple of times and it was really – she’s a good kisser! (Laughs)

What was the moment in your career you knew you had an LGBTQ following?

I feel like (1999’s) Drop Dead Gorgeous was the start of that for me. And it was a slow dawning, awakening, realization that was happening, and I thought that was the highest show of honor to be embraced by the gay community. It was like, “OK, you guys know.”

To me, it’s a high honor to be recognized and embraced by the gay community. I don’t want to say something stereotypical, but a lot of the men that I know, who are my dear friends have a real appreciation for women who are strong and powerful and kickass. They really, really love strong women. They’re not afraid of women the way that some heterosexual men are. But they love a strong dame. They love a dame! So, that’s high praise. It’s high praise coming from the gays. So I am thrilled that I am in that club.

Of the lesbian characters you’ve played, from Sally in The Hours to your lesbian roles in stage productions like Eve Ensler’s Ladies and Alan Ball’s Five Women Wearing the Same Dress, which do you wish you could’ve gotten to know more?

Probably my character in The Hours with Meryl. I would’ve liked to have gotten to know Sally and really explored that relationship. You know, my famous story with her with that kiss is that she gave me a facelift. She didn’t like the way we were lit in the scene and she said, “I’m gonna do you a favor, honey.” So she placed her hands on the side of my face and lifted it ever so gently. When you watch it next, look at that – it’s pretty great. A little Meryl lift. I got a little lift from Meryl. It was fantastic.

If you were to play another lesbian role, who would be your ideal co-star?

Whoa. Well, I kind of have a girl crush on Margot Robbie right now! (Laughs) She is so talented and so friggin’ beautiful – it’s kind of remarkable. I just find myself staring at her, like, how can anything be that beautiful? And she’s a really good actress, and you know, why not? Margot is on my mind right now, so I’m saying Margot.

There have been Tonya Harding impersonators, and after this film, I fully expect a few LaVona Golden queens.

Oh my god, do you really?

Her name alone is made for the stage at some gay bar, don’t you think?

It is a great name: LaVona! There was already someone on Halloween who dressed as LaVona. It was on Twitter and it made me laugh. It was a guy who dressed as LaVona, with the bowl haircut and the bird and the fur coat. It’s a real unique look.

#td_uid_1_5a4e58c054d5d .td-doubleSlider-2 .td-item1 { background: url(https://hotspotsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Allison-Janney-160x120.jpg) 0 0 no-repeat; }

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Allison Janney as LaVona Golden in I, Tonya

Does looking the part help you get into character?

Oh god, yes. With that, especially. It was three hours of hair and makeup getting that look with the bird, and it was really liberating too. I thought I was gonna be horrified and not be able to look at myself in the mirror, and it was fascinating – I wanted to look at myself all the time! I was like, “God, this is so cool!” It felt just so different, and I didn’t see myself. I felt really confident in doing what I had to do. The look was so perfect and so great, and it made me excited to do my scenes.

I hope you got to keep a piece of LaVona.

I didn’t! But I was thinking about seeing if that bird could be adopted because I kind of fell in love with him. He lives in southern Georgia and he’s so lovely. But I do have three dogs and I don’t want there to be an unfortunate situation there.

Yeah, maybe give it to somebody who doesn’t have an animal that will eat it.

Yes! That’s always something to think about before you get a bird. (Laughs)

You’ve said you like to use your platform and acting to support important causes, which you’ve done in projects like 2009’s Funny or Die’s Prop 8 – The Musical. Do you recall the point in your life or career when you became passionate about queer issues?

I have so many gay friends in my world, and having such close friends in the gay community made me more aware of different issues. So, I’d naturally get involved through my friends. It happened when I came out to L.A. and I was doing West Wing. Once you start becoming someone – you know, a celebrity person – you realize, “Actually, I could help just by showing up there and by doing this.” It was a wonderful thing to realize, that I could use my name for something good other than the acting.

Does it feel even more important right now to take on projects that can make a difference?

Yes, yes! It really does. And I don’t know what I’m gonna be asked to do next, but I hope that I will be able to contribute.

I think now is the right time for another lesbian role, just sayin’.

OK, alright. I’m gonna start looking for one. Will you start looking for one for me? Should I do a biopic of – I’m trying to think, what lesbian should I play? I think it’s gotta be a character that’s not written yet.

Considering your trove of lesbian parts, I’m surprised lesbian roles aren’t just rolling in for you.

I don’t know – I don’t think so! I’m gonna have to call my agent: “Where are all my lesbian roles?” Oh, a pioneering lesbian! Amelia Earhart. I don’t know if she was. I’m gonna get on that though. I’m gonna start looking. That’s a good thing to put in my head.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/01/04/allison-janney-talks-tonya-hardings-queerness-girl-crushes/