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There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.
The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.
Which one do I fucking feed??
#t. lee woes#like. do you know how hard it is trying to start something new that you've never done at all ever before??#and you've got no mode of transport until december - and ONLY if things go well#and now you're contemplating ways to mkre regularly earn a bit of money to afford the classes since paying weekly means my income#would wind up like $9 a fortnight since $40 would be spent by the end of each fortnight#it wouldn't necessarily be stagnant but it's not a desirable position to be in#I still have stuff saved up in a jar but I'm always hesitant to dip into that stuff#originally it was going toward a violin and lessons for that but I'm putting it off in favour of something a bit easier to dedicate time to#boxing is easy. in fact I could get support from my fam for that cause they like it#they don't see the point in dancing but I really want to at least try it and I'm worried about affording each term if I do end up liking it#also I already have boxing gear from before#but I'm hesitant about boxing at the moment for a lot of reasons I can't quite articulate but weirdly might have something to do with#internalised misogyny and biases... which is WILD cause my dad supports women learning martial arts#I can't do karate though I tried that and the class drove me a little insane#and it doesn't push you the same way boxing does and I really like to be pushed#if I don't leave sweating and hot and lungs and muscles aching then what's the point?? I can do mediocre exercise at home#and find more intense martial arts classes that also teach other kinds of self-defense#it's like... ehhhh#anyway but also I want to do something that's for fun that isn't so Serious Fight Mode#hence dancing#but I can only afford one not both and basically I'm grumpy today cause I was gonna trial a dance class - got ready and everything - but#my ride was suddenly unavailable. and I still can't stomach public transport. nor am I good at navigating it#it feels so different here compared to where I used to live - and I knew trains better not buses
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fr tho @staff why are you trying to make tumblr more like other sites why are you destroying your niche in the market please there have got to be ways to make tumblr more accessible to new users without sacrificing the very things that your existing userbase loves
#its a genuine problem... I have had friends sign up for tumblr and then not use it because they dont know how to navigate non-algorithmic sm#but come on. there have got to be ways to build up the onboarding process so that people learn how to search for blogs + content#and/or ways to create separate contained algorithmic feeds OR to create the option to turn the algorithmic feed off like it is rn#and honestly I do think tumblr's focus should be more on 'how do we convince people non-algorithmic is good'#rather than 'how do we become algorithmic'#there's gotta be a whole angle in there right??? something like emphasizing that on tumblr you find the content YOU want#not the content we want you to want#also the whole thing about drawing in new creators. have they talked to existing creators??????? bc I dont know that they want algorithms#i dont know I just think tumblr will never be able to do the algorithm better than sites like FB or tik tok or even twitter#so if they try to become algorithmic they will fail to meet the standards of new users AND they will drive away the existing userbase#its a bad look. this is your niche. play to it. thats marketing 101
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idk what this is but I’d like to manifest it becoming a reality
#like imagine#‘actor tries to navigate his way through his new found fame and soon uncovers the hidden horror of hollywood’#‘will he uncover the truth before it’s too late or go insane trying?’#‘coming june 2025’#jack martin#complete shitpost
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Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.
Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha
Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".
Almost...
I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.
This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.
So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.
But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.
You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.
It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!
Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.
And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.
I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.
Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.
"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."
#windy squeals#im so sorry if i end upsetting someone with my point of view#with my expressive way to use words#or my overly dramatic behavior#its all real i swear these are all real#and you dont need to give me back the same level of energy#just be clear af and say what you need because i dont read minds#im tired of being seeing as a clown or be infantilized because of this#or feared like im a sort of vampire that sucks emotions because NO#or that im intolerant to people that dont follow those -normatives because believe me#im too very asocial to certain cues but intead of raging about them#i try to create new rules that fit better my way to navigate life#the only way to achieve what we want is by stating it gently#not setting on fire posibilities to create new connections and points of view#but i guess there will be always be people that prefer to live in a bubble and expect the whole diverse world to mold to them#and i say that as an aroace that used to be intolerant of the normatives that push my boundaries to the edge#but eh sometimes youll fight but most of the times youll need to dodge and learn to avoid bullets#listen if i sound ableist with this whatever i am then#im not perfect#gotta keep reading and relearning and updating my brain ugh
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#idk if/when I'll get around to writing this bc I have toooo fucking many plates in the air right now#and I'm still chewing on our au but I also keep randomly thinking about ghost city canon#and specifically the moment Ilya realizes Maksim is.... Not Normal about navigating dangerous situations with them 👀#like after the confession and they're comfortable being affectionate with each other#and they've already noticed he gets very physical /after/ they're out of danger#but at some point like. there's a beat while they're hiding or trying to stay quiet or whatever#and Ilya's like hang on. I know how you look and sound when you're /turned on/..... yooouuu love this >:]#and it would come as a surprise to him too gfdsgsd like he's never felt that way /before/#but adrenaline + his fixation on/attraction to Ilya is cooking some brand new weird chemicals in his brain and he's like#fuck. what. I /do/ love this???#and of course he never gets time to be embarrassed or anything because Ilya immediately seizes the opportunity to just lean into it#because their brain just responds weirdly to danger in the opposite direction so they don't have the distraction of being worried or scared#seeing him excited just makes them excited :3c
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ohhhhhhh u guys I am not cut out for casual dating wowee
#new ways to feel evil unlocked#i've been on 2 of the 3 dates I scheduled and I got on really well with the first girl and we made plans for a second date#and warning bc i'm getting REAL diary mode rn#we got on well but she's a little younger and reminds me of a girl I dated when I was like 17#in the sense of how we were incompatible#and it's like :O trying to navigate not hurting her feelings but also not leading her on#and date 2 went SO well with another girl like we got on really well and we kissed and made plans for a date 2#and it's nice bc we got on really well in a way that felt friendly too if ykwim#as well as feeling romantic#and now i have date 3 today#and i'm like oh i just feel terrible like I'm just leading multiple people on 😭 how do people do this akdkakd#also i am for sure getting my period and have been pmsing for like over a week and overscheduled myself so i'm just a little 😮💨#anyway ! if u read this bless ur soul u really didn't have to and i hope ur havin a good day
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Winx Club au(S1)
Alright! But hear me out!
Like I have the creative zoomies(again) and I brainroted this for DAYS! Like you have no idea how on point I nailed everything.
Except visuals... We are here for the plot... :'3
I will accept any kind of visual suggestions tho... Plot too if you have :3
Anyway! I put the title! You know it: Winx Au!
Bc why not? Why tf shouldn't I smush together these 2 pieces of media that I like?
Anyway! We will have A LOT to cover... Because, much to the horror of moi, we will have 6 seasons. Like, if you know winx or were in the Fandom, you know the mixed opinions that started after season 3. It's just... A lot...
Even so, I enjoyed way too much the concepts and themes of the later seasons that I... Kinda forgot about plot? Shocking, I know...
Although season 7 was way too painful to watch and that's where I dropped everything and went my merry way. U-U9
Anyway! With that out of the way, we will dive into this Au, but first, some disclaimers:
I WILL go into more darker themes. Maybe Winx had a lighter tone, but it did go dark a few times. And I will go and shove it in even darker pits.
There will be swearing, much like violence... Because I need it for plot purposes.
This Au will start IN PARALLEL with Winx S1. So if you see mentions of og winx characters, locations or artefacts, you know why. I will also neglect season 7 and 8. Which means that for me, lore wise, will be irrelevant. I say this, because I will use lore aspects up until season 6, therefore it's just the bare necessities :3
At one point, the winx time-line and this au's time-line will meet up. So you should expect even a meeting in between the og winx and our group. :3c
Now, with that out of the way, we will go under ✨the cut✨ for it!
To start off: world lore.
Twisted wonderland was a planet full of magic. Unfortunately, due to political reasons, this planet didn't want to abide by the rest of Magix's quite tight rules and regulations, therefore it wasn't granted as many benefits as the other planets who agreed upon them. The primary reason was, of course: there has to be one singular royal family ruling over the whole planet. Twisted wonderland had multiple monarchies, democracies, republics and everything. And it was clear neither of them wanted to cojoin and be ruled by a single entity.
What was very special about twisted wonderland, was it's diversity in magic and how open it was. While it was very diverse, quite the array of categories of magic being able to be accessed, it was more or so notable that the common folk either didn't have magic affinities, or very weak magic, to the point they don't unlock even the base forms. Those people are called: stagnants, and could follow just primary magical courses at the very least.
Some notable institutes training people are:
NRC- an all boys school for fairies. Founded by the great 7, NRC is a 4 year boarding-school, whith a riguros training system. You can only boast about being in NRC after you passed in your 3rd year, because the exams are means of expulsion on their own.
RSA- the infamous specialists School. It trains magicless people into becoming knights and guards. It is quite renowned for it's 4 year training and great knights who could handle difficult situations.
NBC- the school of witches and wizards. Mostly known for it's long history and the very notable positive figures it housed. Despite training students into the dark arts, many came out to be protectors of their homelands or serving for good.
Now, for the first season:
We follow Jack. Jack was a Beastman, coming from a magicless family. His family had a very weak connection with magic since countless generations. But that didn't really stop Jack from living his life. He was a normal guy. That's all about him.
Alright, maybe not so normal, since he was close friends with the raising star in acting and modeling: Vil Schonenheit. Vil was known to be a fairy in training, just like his father, grandparents and so on. But Vil was also nice and always made time to go outside and hang out with Jack, so Jack really didn't think Vil was bad like the villain he was always portrayed in movies or plays.
But even so, Jack was never ready when he first discovered he could do magic. It was something more of a heat of the moment: his younger siblings were in danger, falling from a tree they climbed, so Jack, in a panic, summoned a layer of magic snow that cushioned their fall. It was clear he was the source, because it was the middle of the summer then.
With that, Jack really had his world rocked from it's feet. Vil just started his first year at NRC at that time, so he really wasn't sure if he should lay this news on his friend.
Nonetheless, Vil was excited when he heard the news. Jack was a terrible liar, so he figured he should fess up rather than hide it. Vil, obviously, was very happy and expected for his buddy to come to NRC with him. To assure he will get picked up, Vil would train Jack over the holidays, trying to get a grip on his powers before going into school.
Vil managed to get into his 3rd year when Jack finally got accepted and got in as a first year. Unfortunately for him, Vil did tell him that now that he was in his 3rd year, he would have to work even harder, so the best they could do is to text each other and maybe they could hang out sometime.
So Jack stepped in NRC, with a rough idea of how things work and clearly ready to learn more.
Vil told him about the sorting ceremony, so Jack really didn't expect to be so gloomy. When he thought about the fairies, he saw them so colorful and sparkly. Even so, someone did grab him, explaining that it's a metaphor for the butterflies process. They start as gloomy caterpillars before gaining their wings.
That someone was none other than a short boy with hair made out of blue flames. Jack was surprised of the hair, but the boy, named Ortho, was thrilled to meet another first year. He really hoped to be sorted for the Ignihyde courses. At that, Jack really didn't understand.
Ortho explains it to him: there are 7 courses, meant to train a future fairy in one of the 7 virtues the founders had. Each course has it's unique perks and special places on campus.
The 7 courses were:
The Heartslabyul course-focused mainly on a little bit of everything. It's a course that relies heavily on the rule abiding. A fairy must always aim to solve a problem without breaking rules or morals, which can affect their magic as well. Their special aera was the rose garden, where the students could relax or maditate. Jack noted that it would be a great course for him. He wanted to practice everything.
The Savanaclaw course- a course that relies mostly on limited use of magic. It trains fairies to be proficient even without magic, making it the best course in training great guards. They just never give up no matter what. Their perk was unlimited access to the sports grounds. Ortho said that even if he was energetic, he wouldn't stand a chance in there. He's a couch potato unfortunately. :'3
The Octavinelle course- they are courses mostly aimed at one's inner peace. Since the state of the mind also affects fairies, Octavinelle students are known to be always with their feet on the ground and able to deal very easy with spells that require a more deep understanding of oneself. Ortho wouldn't call it really a perk, but there is a cafe on campus that Octavinelle fully runs it. They also have an aera of the library allocated to them only.
The scarabia course- it's very popular for their focus on resources. These students are fairies who can easily use their environment to their advantage. Apparently their perk is access to a lot of supplementary courses outside. They could just crash in other course's expedition outside and be totally fine with it. Jack really didn't know what to say, but Ortho reassured that apparently the scarabia fairies are quite chill.
The poemfiore course- it's a course focused on antidotes and curses management. Their main perk is unlimited access to herbs and ingredients that are cultivated on the school grounds. Although they are also renowned for their impeccable looks and manners. Ortho did say that perhaps he could fit the bill for it, while Jack mentioned he had a friend in there.
The Ignihyde course- a course focused primarily on magic and technology. Since there is magic tech, the Ignihyde fairies can merge magic with tech flawlessly. There are many technological fairies in there, although there are also a few exceptions. Their perks aren't that known, but they have the underground workshops, where they can invent or tinker with whatever they please. Ortho said that his big brother is there, so he hopes to get also in there. Jack didn't really feel like he had a knack for tech, so he really didn't know what to say.
Then, the last one, Diasomnia- the practical magic course. Not only is the course where one of the most powerful fairies are coming, it is also a course with a lot of perks: status, more optional courses, meditation places and also a personal library section. It's the course that outshines everyone. Ortho did say that he hoped he wouldn't end up with a jerk from there in the dorm. Jack just awkwardly looks in the other part.
Ortho also mentioned that apparently the dorms are mixed. So there is a fair chance that even if they end up in different courses, they could still be roommates. Jack also hoped that, because ortho was literally the only 1st year he knew.
They do get sorted by the dark mirror. An odd name, but Jack didn't question it.
He ended up in Savanaclaw. And Ortho ended up in Ignihyde.
Jack was of course guided towards a senior: Ruggie. He presented himself as the prefect of the Savanaclaw course. A prefect, as Ruggie put it, was a student who excels in their courses while also embracing the virtues of the founder the course is based of. As a prefect, Ruggie had a job of overseeing the savanaclaw students. Mostly to guide the first years and nudge them into adapting. He also explained the school main rules to them, which Jack took a big note of:
-do not be off the campus after 22.
-do not smuggle in dangerous curses/artefacts.
-do not cross the restricted sections of the school.
3 big rules. Of course, there are the minor rules also, but these 3 are the ones that immediately get you expulsion.
Ruggie also gave to everyone, one by one, their programs and dorm keys. Thankfully Ruggie was the kind soul who smuggles in a map for the first years, so they won't get lost, then pushed them on their merry way to the dorms.
It took some mad orientation skills and also a small meeting with Vil, before Jack finally found his dorm.
And it was a mess.
The dorm itself was pretty big, considering it had 3 supposed bedrooms, all connected through a small lounge. It was very spacious. But it had things sprawled around, 2 guys arguing, one of them on the coffee table, and 2 literally throwing books and pillows at each other.
Oh and Ortho was there. He seemed to be texting someone when he saw Jack and happily approached him.
It took a bit to calm down and finally get around with intros and everything. There were 2 bedrooms, each with 2 beds and everyone was already pre-determined.
In the first room- Deuce Spade from Heartslabyul and Sebek Zigvolt from Diasomnia.
Second room- Jack and Ortho
Third room- Epel Felimer from poemfiore and Ace Trappola from Heartslabyul.
And for now, things seemed quite awkward, with everyone settling in at their own pace then sleeping.
The first few days were also awkward. Everyone had their own courses and still had to get to know each other, which was a bit hard. Still, for the sake of coherence, Jack tried his best to bring everyone together to bond.
Which leads them to a weekend hangout through the Sage city. Gradually, they had fun together, went to a cafe, arcade and walked through the streets, bonding. It seemed to do wonders as now they were all comfortable enough to crack jokes in between them.
But their fun moment is cut short when they happen to overhear a very sus conversation on an alleyway. Being the bastards they were, despite Jack, Deuce and Sebek being against it, the 6 of them decide to snoop a bit on the convo.
They overhear 2 people, cloaked from head to toe, talking about finding some sort of key. One of them seemed quite impatient as the other reassured that until they find the key, that a stone they showed should do the trick. Ortho recognised it as a black magic stone, which got the group to worry.
Sage Island was very known to heavily rely on fairy magic, also dubbed as white magic. Black magic is used sometimes in here, but if it's used to affect the land, the island itself won't stand, since it's core is made out of fairy magic. At least that's what Epel explained to the group in whispers.
Their little cover is blown anytway, because they couldn't be discret to save their lives, so due to this, the 2 people summon a monster made out of trash, meant to dispose of them, while they fleed.
And rightfully, being the fledgling fairies they were, this group was absolute shit at it. Everyone tries to be leader and everyone is crashing one against each other. It doesn't help that only 4 out of 6 could actually transform. (Jack and Ace) which left 2 more vulnerable.
In the end, Jack comes up with a plan to defeat the monster and actually rolling with it, assuring them as the winners of the fight, while the monster returned to trash piles. But they made a mess out of it, so now they hurried back to NRC to just get a shower and talk about it, since maybe they were tired, but sleep was the last thing on their worry list.
Except that they get caught up by Ruggie. They came in late, but seeing how they were looking like shit, Ruggie decides to close an eye for the meantime, with the promise of not happening again. They didn't go that much over the curfew, so he could just assume they got lost on their way back.
At their dorm, the 6 of them gathered together after cleaning up and getting some comfy pijamas and decided to discuss about it.
Epel says that he is the fairy of earth, hence why he felt a slight disturbtion in the earth magic from here when the monster was summoned. That monster clearly wasn't a being with life and mind of it's own as Ortho put it, but their next dilema was: What was the deal with those 2 people?
Ace suggests that maybe they should leave it and mind their own business. Deuce said that he is worried about the monster returning, or even worse, more of them coming. Sebek was wondering what kind of key were those people looking for. Epel had mixed feelings about it, while Ortho was insisting to look into it.
Jack suggested to tell some authorities about it, which gained a flat no. They didn't know how the individuals looked like, nor did the monster they fought got caught by the public. They could be considered to be bluffing for clout, so for now, this stood in between them.
The conclusion: no one would believe the without evidence.
So in the spirit of their unanimous decision of investigating, Ace suggests a group name for them. They were kind of like a team so names were suggested around. The final draft was: Requix squad. It sounded sick by Epel's standards, so they decided that this was their group name.
So they start their investigation. Looking around for clues about what the key was meaning, watching the news, discovering that more and more monster attacks were spotted, thankfully the specialists and fairies were there in time. And of course, attending the courses and triaing to unlock their fairy forms or more power.
Early on, they get introduced to the concept of fairy forms: there are 2 main forms: base form and enchantix. In the first year, students are meant to learn the bases, including control of their base form. The 2nd year students are meant to unlock charmix, a power up for their base form, meant to signal them getting closer to enchantix. And by the final of their 3rd year, they have to get enchantix, so that on the 4th year they could properly train to be guardian fairies.
And like that, our Requix squad is very vexed about it. Ortho had an idea what that stone they saw could be, but he still had to do some research and confirm his worries before sharing a possibly flawed theory.
During this, Jack has Leona, his practical magic teacher, noticing his lack of attention. He does confront him about it. Maybe it was just the start of the year, but Leona could see that Jack was a vigilent kid, so him looking so troubled must've been because something happened. Rightfully, Leona assumes it's because Jack is a late bloomer with magic and all these monster attacks that leave the first year fairies to learn combat more early.
So Leona tries to reassure Jack that he needs to put more mind on his own self and only then he will be able to connect with his magic more.
Meanwhile, Ace has a nightmare. One that ends up waking Epel as well, the 2 having a talk about it.
Ace tells Epel that he saw something bad. A big monster, dark tunnels, and the same cloaked figure from the alley, hidden in the shadows. Epel wasn't the best at comforting, but he did his best. In the morning, Ace didn't share about it with the others, everyone assuming he just didn't sleep that well.
Meanwhile, Jack catches Ortho trying out a dark magic spell. When asking about it, Ortho realises that he has to fess up to the truth: he was half witch, mainly from his mother's side. Since the Shrouds had the heirloom of the first born to be the fairy of death, Ortho's big brother, Idia, gained that title, along with being a full fledged fairy, even if he did cary some faith traces of dark magic, those didn't affect him. Meanwhile, Ortho inherited both fairy and witch magic, making it hard to control and sometimes, his own body can't take it, manifesting as dizzy spells or even fainting when one of the sides takes over. So far, Ortho took many precautions, but he just can't pursue one side of him without feeling the repercussions, so sometimes he tries dark magic spells to balance it out.
Jack is a bit taken aback by it, but Ortho pleaded for him to tell no one. Jack had no option but to comply and help Ortho out with his little problem, mainly by helping with the research about the stone.
And they finally come with a rough idea. What that stone was, could it be a gloomix stone. The others are a bit confused, but Ortho tells them that gloomix is a witch form. Just like charmix is for a fairy, gloomix is a powerup for a witch's base form. Except that while charmix comes from making personal amends with oneself, gloomix is made through taking dark magic straight from a power source or given to you by a more powerful entity.
This leads them to search more about where could the gloomix stone could come from. They discover some aincent tunnels, so while everyone is asleep, the 6 sneak out and find a hidden entrance to the tunnels right behind a statue on the school hall.
Ace does become uneasy, saying to Epel that it was just like in his dream, which also got Epel a bit uneasy. They are exploring a bit the place, using an enchanted paper to map it out.
Thankfully for them, they find a big door. One under many locks. An idea coming from Sebek was to use a convergence spell. They were all a bit skeptical, but if they find something useful in there, they could pinpoint the one behind the monsters and finally report it to the authorities. Heck, maybe they could gain some nice grades out of it. It wasn't unheard of extra credits or good grades from fulfilling a very difficult problem/mission.
The convergence spell is wonky, not working at first. But a second time has all of the group finally coming to a comune agreeement: they need to open that door. They are a group and nothing can stop them!
And it works! The locks are down and the doors open.
And the place? A big library. Lots of stairs, both tall and deep, filled with rows and rows of books. There were also floating platforms going up and down as on the walls, different murals were painted.
They decide to go down instead of up, finding at the bottom, after a hell lot of stairs, some tables, armchairs and couches. There was also a big Cauldron in one side, some utensils and many more things, yet the most interesting of it was a crystal ball.
Jack nudges Ortho to do something with it, but the latter doesn't want. Instead, Sebek pokes it, wondering what it is. The ball does seem to light up and shake with life as from there, a spirit of a man in a lot of robes presents itself.
Also a cat, which immediately slaps Sebek for poking the ball. :'3
The man presents himself as Trein, the spirit of the aincent library. He thought that this place was locked, as no one really got on. The group is pretty quick to say that it was fairly easy to get in, because they did a convergence spell. Trein was a bit skeptical, since the convergence spell had to have both light and dark magic to open all the locks.
It brings a bit of suspicion among the group, Ortho growing uneasy and Jack trying his best to divert the situation towards their goal: finding the truth about the monster attacks. Trein couldn't help them that much, only show them present events through the crystal ball. Lucius however, could find for them any book they desire.
The group contemplates for a bit, before finally telling what they want: a book on monster making. Lucius finds it quite quick and gives it to them, starting to skimm through it and try to find what kind of monster did they encounter then.
It was found out that it was actually a simple type of dark magic spell, a monster made out of environment objects. Therefore their foe wasn't someone that powerful. Maybe they were even on par with them.
But their little research moment gets stopped when they hear a roar outside. Lucius reports to Trein that some sort of beast is trying to break into the library. The group decides to fight it, because that might be their next big clue after all.
In the fight, Ace and Jack also unlock their own fairy base forms. The monster doesn't get defeated that easily, leaving a few wounds on the group, who had to rest a bit in the library.
But, they managed to defeat it in the end. And fortunately, this monster leaved behind something: a wilted flower. It must've been created from that flower in question, so maybe they could find another big clue.
Trein seems quite pleased with the group in question. Maybe everything seemed a bit of a haze, all on the run and bearly they got a month since their started school, but Trein saw some potential in them. So he decided to test them: he gives them a riddle and they will have to bring him the answer to it. The library will only be open to them and them alone, so they shouldn't worry if the monster would return. To find the library again, Trein entrusted them with a magic bottle, that it will show them where the library is when unbottled. They only have 1 chance after all, so they all should think the riddle through.
As for the riddle:
You can't see, smell or hear me,
You feel me at your worst,
You know me at your best,
You, alone, can't have me,
I will be your power and your weakness.
What am I?
So the first years are left to sneak back to their dorm and contemplate.
Except that the next day, after classes, everyone is called for an emergency roll call. As it turns out, the island is suffering consequences of the dark magic monsters being more and more by the day. And so, it was mandatory for NRC and the locals to have some dark magic detectors around. Those were put a few days ago.
And already they went off a few times, getting everyone to realise that someone in this school was secretly a witch. This qualified as a traitor, given the circumstances.
And so, it comes to each group of students to be interrogated under the detector. Of course, knowing just how they got the library seal down, our group is a bit uneasy and also suspicious of each other. They tried to contemplate any kind of last minute plan to escape it, but so far, nothing came to them.
And of course, the detector goes off on them. In front of everyone. Of course, Crowley, the headmaster, gives them the option to fess up who's the witch or all of them to face expulsion and also be handed to the police for further investigations.
And Jack, desemned leader of the group, has no other option than to fess up that Ortho was half a witch. He tried to defend him, saying that Ortho couldn't have done such a thing, but everyone was obviously shocked and more or so disgusted by this.
Thankfully, before Crowley could do a decree, a student raises up, while the other leave for their dorms. That was Idia, very notable by his fire hair. When he goes to Crowley, the detector also goes off. Idia explains to Crowley. Since they remained alone, Idia has more courage to explain that because of their mother being a very powerful witch, both Idia and Ortho have traces of dark magic. It's not much, but enough to have the detectors go off. The monsters that plagued the city were getting more powerful, sign that perhaps gloomix could be involved, which Ortho clearly didn't have.
Also Idia pointed something out, that the Shrouds have a unique trace of magic, which would've let anyone know that a creation spell was done by them, mainly the 'heart of flame'. As an example, Idia himself creates a creature, which notably has a blue flame around it's chest. It easily dissappeared, but it did prove the case.
Crowley buys into it and leaves the group off the hook for now. But if they ever slip up again, he will have to take more drastic measures. For now, Idia is guiding them back to their dorm.
And rightfully, on the halls, Idia warns them. He saw them last night sneaking around. He is aware that they are mingling where they shouldn't, so he tells them to stay put.
He just doesn't want to repeat 'the incident' again.
Back at the dorm, everyone is silent. It was clear that Jack was aware of Ortho's secret and still, it felt like a betrayal. Ortho doesn't try do defend his case, but Ace is the one that breaks the silence.
Idia was going to save their asses anyway so Jack didn't have to just rat out a secret he was entrusted with. Jack tries to defend himself, saying that he didn't know about Idia having an intervention, even so, Epel adds that it's just fucked up that the headmaster was gonna hand them all on the police hands just for that. Deuce points out that now they all have big targets on their back and probably the culprit is happy they have a cover.
Sebek booms in, saying that they must find the true perpetuator, because this now is personal. The headmaster was truly too hurried with this thing, so something had to be up with it. They were 1st years, it was easy to weed them out. If perhaps they were 3rd years or more influencial, then it would've been harder to come up with a proper motive.
So now, Jack just puts his foot down. They are in this shit together. They have an advantage: the library. They need to figure out that riddle, find the object that is the answer, unmask the culprit and clear their name. Now it's the best time to just fess up everything that is on the plate. No more secrets and then they can work this shit together.
So they gather up in their lounge, with pillows and blankets. Sebek conjured a stick they called 'the stick of talky', so they started to pass it around.
Jack didn't have any secrets he hid from them. He was the fairy of snow apparently, which was also new to him, he tries to get around everything and hopes he can just get to the bottom of this.
Ace gets the stick, revealing that he is the fairy of tarot, which puts him in the future seeing fairies, quite the taboo type. His brother was the fairy of matchmaking, a graduate of NRC and Ace hopes to surpass his brother one day to gain more than just 'the little brother' title.
When it's Epel's turn, he says that he wants to be manly, not a cute sparkly ass fairy. But as the fairy of earth, he has to commit to it. He says that he's sick of the poemfiore's strict self care regime, which has him looking like a porcelain doll. And doesn't help that he absolutely hates the prefect's guts.
Sebek reveals that he trains to be a retainer for prince Malleus Draconia, the fairy of dragon's breath. He takes great pride in it, but with Silver, his fellow guard, being a year older and in the 2nd year, Sebek feels a bit overshadowed and ignored by Malleus and Lilia in favor of Silver.
The stick reaches now Ortho, who has a bit of a hard time, but the others were silent when the others confessed so Ortho finally got it off his chest everything, including why Idia was so worried to the point of intervening into their situation because the way Idia gained his enchantix was by giving his base form's wings in an attempt at saving Ortho. Ortho was not a fairy if death, rather a fairy of the souls, which isn't really something to brag about. The others didn't push more info and finally the stick reached Deuce.
Among his delinquent phase, Deuce admits that he has in possession something else. As the fairy of the night sky, Deuce got as a heirloom, the zodiac blade, a blade that was in the form of a bracelet Deuce had on his hand. This blade was insanely powerful and Deuce fears of using it as he is still incapable of controlling it. He fears he could hurt everyone if he uses it.
After the stick finally making a full round, everyone seems a bit awkward. Ace finally decides to address the elephant in the room: they are shit at getting along. This gains a pillow on the face from Epel, which quickly escalates in a pillow fight.
After the pillow fight, all of them were just laying there, laughing and taking a breather. They were absolute disasters, but at least they had each other.
And that's what gets Jack's gears turning. He finally got an idea of the riddle answer, so he prompts the others that the answer they were searching for was here the whole time.
The answer was them all. Their group. Maybe they had a way too fast development, maybe they just got in too much trouble for bearly starting the year and maybe it was all a very wierd streak of luck that got them here, but they are now here, all sprawled on the floor and laughing together despite in what deep shit they are now.
They were in all of this together and they will get out of there together too!
But how do they go to Trein to tell the answer? They were on close watch.
And that was painfully made obvious. Not only the teachers, but also the students put more attention on them. Except that the students also did give them some nasty looks too or even go as far as to prank them. Oh Deuce was on the verge of squaring up with someone if it wasn't for Ace.
But also Idia seemed more of a worrywart now, which the group really was a bit thankful, since Idia's gloomy vibes kept at bay the other younger students.
But still, they took the risk and finally sneaked in while everyone slept to find the library. They do so, surprisingly quick, seeing how there were several failed attempts and more than not some of them slamming into walls.
Trein does wait for them and the group presents their answer: their bond was the answer. Trein takes it as a close one since the answer was friendship (which none of these petty mfs is able to even admit it), but he takes it as correct and finally grands them unlimited access to the library, in the form of a mark on each of their hands. The mark will only appear when they wish to go to the library. And the mark will turn any door they wish to use into a temporary door to the library as to not go all the way through the secret tunnels.
The first years obviously cheer for their success, so they get straight to work. Using Ace's future seeing powers and the cristal ball, the group is able to predict a few of the next attacks. The one they had to look out to was the one on the Halloween, which was when a big ball was held at RSA. Many students from other schools will go there after all. And it was also where their prediction showed that a big monster will come.
So they start to cook a plan. They obviously were forbidden from leaving the school grounds as they were still under suspicion, so they had to be more creative.
So countless hours of late night library studying and and searching. Ortho was a bit skeptical, but in the end decided to make a concealing spell, which would make all 6 of them unrecognizable and thus able to attend the ball. Thankfully it was an open gates event held outside.
Ace and Deuce were trying to assure the details about the ball, while Epel and Sebek were looking into a way to capture the culprit. And Jack was looking into the aspects the monsters had up until now. Ortho had to make the said potion, as a spell would be blown off immediately. It was chaotic and Trein simply watched them ferret from time to time, figuring out that they aren't aware over what source of power they actually stumbled upon.
Halloween comes around. The theme of the ball was, of course, masked ball. And with this, as to not swallow some nasty tasting potion, Ortho merged it into some masquerade masks, perfect to conceal them. To add to it, their casual clothes were now very eye catching gowns and their body proportions also changed. Ortho clearly was proud of his potion success, but warned that it might not hold past midnight, so they should hurry.
The ball itself wasn't that flashy. And it was a surprise that 6 random pretty girls presented themselves in there. To communicate, they had earpieces disguised as earrings, so they split up.
Jack does go to the food table and due to some 'unfortunate accident', a specialist accidentally spills some juice on his dress, which prompts Jack to excuse himself and go to the bathroom. The specialist, named Neige, apologises for it and decides to show Jack where the women toilets are.
On their way tho, Jack knocks out Neige with a spell and is on his merry way to explore the said school, in search for anything that could point to the culprit.
Meanwhile, Ace and Deuce dance together and look gorgeous, Epel hauled a food table, Ortho was hyping Sebek in chugging down a bottle of juice, much like the girls that gathered with them.
Back to Jack, man stumbles upon a quite nicely dressed specialist. Immediately Jack puts the excuse that 'she just got lost' and asks for directions. Except that the guy seems quite suspicious when leading Jack towards the ball location.
Because they didn't go the same route.
Jack is a bit taken aback when the guy tries to attack him, but he defends himself with a spell and so it starts the fight. Thankfully, even when in fairy form, the concealing potion was kept, which Jack was infinitely grateful for as he called for the rest of the team.
But the guy, who reveals himself as Prince Mandor, doesn't let down so easily, able to quickly knock out of the way Jack as he uses the gloomix stone in the form of a glowing collar hid under the coat, to summon a big monster out of the armour statues laying throughout the school.
The prediction was made true in the end, but that didn't stop the group from reuniting and all of them to put a face to the culprit.
Immediately it gets to a big fight as the monster leaves towards the ball. They also had to stop it in time, even so, they didn't have time, nor power to hold against a gloomix power up.
And in true villain fashion, Mandor reveals that he hated fairies from here, who always stole the spotlight from specialists. NRC fairies especially, who were all stuck up jerks. He hated them with a passion, to the point he wanted to put all of NRC to shame.
So our group decides to do a convergence spell, but not the way one may think. They all decide to aim at the collar with different beam attacks, overcharging it with power and thus destroying it.
The prince doesn't give out so easily and manages to flee via running. Jack wanted to run after him, but he was tired and Deuce warned that midnight was coming close. Epel found the gloomix stone smashed on the ground, so he grabbed the shards with him, together using their library marks to get to the library and flee the place.
Trein welcomes them back and the group all collectively are tired. But they present the gloomix stone shards. Nonetheless, Trein congratulates them on their good work. Lucius even gives them all a smol nuzzle. :D But even so, looking at the shards, Trein realises that the stone was made by a very powerful dark magic user, if not a dark magic entity. The price managed to run out of their hands, but right now, they got the gloomix stone shattered. So it was a victory still.
The next day, there are many cheers for the 2nd year group, who apparently managed to defeat the monster that threatened the ball. It was a bit of a collective saltiness from our first year group, because they work their asses for weeks, only to find the real culprit and prevent him from summoning such powerful monsters again. By a short research, it was clear that once the gloomix stone was shattered, the monster was gone, so in reality, they did all the work. Oh they were VERY salty about.
And Trein rightfully tells them that their battle is not over. They need to grow more powerful, not more popular. Begrudgingly, Trein declares himself as their mentor. As the spirit of the aincent library, he holds secrets for far more powerful spells and powers that an NRC graduate could only fantom about, let alone know about their existence and also pursuing them. This library constantly moved around under Sage Island via the secret tunnels, and not anyone could accces it. So for the team to have each a pass, it was quite the feat.
So of course, because they were in no position to accuse someone, let alone a royalty, the first years decided to take up on the offer and defeat prince Mandor and whoever is helping him reek havoc in here.
That's when season 1 ends.
next season
other seasons: S2, S3, S4, S5, S6.
#twisted wonderland#twst#winx club au#this a new way of trying navigation#but also to not give to yall an immense chunk of writing#imagine my usual shots but x6 times longer
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#the problem with wearing clothes designed for women is that often I just end up looking like a gay or otherwise feminine man and thats worse#tag talk#like.. looking like a man who's trying to look feminine is just man-in-a-dress from a slightly different angle and it's just as dysphoric#and it's frustrating but I will continue to navigate this weird gender maze because some things look right so I just have to keep at it#second puberty for real in terms of exploring identity and fashion and figuring out what looks right and what works with my body#finding out what looks right and what looks weird and what feels right and what feels wrong#the good news is any thrifted clothes that don't work I can just keep for fabric scraps cause they're so cheap anyway#being able to sew and otherwise alter my clothes is really nice too. I added flared cuffs to my work pants and now they're my favorite pair#corduroy cuffs too. so they're got that slight outlandish look to them. Anyway gender is hard and I'm glad I'm not fully binary transfem#because on days when I don't feel like it I can just revert to default guy mode and then I'm way more comfortable
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I would really love it if maybe we could have a break from the horrors for five fucking minutes
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#this year has been one fucking thing after another and I'm burnt out and exhausted#actually it's not even one after another. they keep piling up and overlapping#like hi would you like to spend the whole year having your abandonment issues triggered and made worse constantly#would you like to go through medical trauma that leaves you with issues that cause you severe pain on a daily basis#while also making it so you literally can't go to get any of it fixed#because seeing any of the tools that would have to be used is enough of a trigger to cause issues regardless of the context you see them in#would you like to take a medication for a month that makes you constantly terrified that something's trying to kill you#and then when you stop taking it that goes away so you think it's gonna be fine but a month later you still have other side effects#and you're trying to navigate all these new symptoms and triggers while more and more stuff just piles up#so then every time it feels like you've made progress something else fucks you up and it feels like you're back to square one#and it's starting to feel like maybe you're the problem because why else would everything keep going this badly#even though so much of it is completely out of anyone's control and you're trying so hard to cope with it and get better#I'm so fucking exhausted and it feels like every attempt to fix any part of our situation goes to shit in some new unforeseen way#and every time I vent about any of it I feel like a burden for making anyone else deal with our problems even if they've said it's fine
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the best thing is when you’ve watched a film enough times that you get to know it and it feels cozy. you turn it on and it’s like “i live here :)”
#i want to watch more new films again#but i am still navigating a Crisis for the next few weeks#so i’m going easy on myself#trying not to force anything i don’t feel ready for#and if that means rewatching some goofy films i KNOW i enjoy - then so be it#i NEED to show this to my mom and mom-mom asap#i told my mom this whole long drawn-out story about this song he did#and then REFUSED completely to describe his performance#because i want her to react to the film the same way i did#although i had NO preparation… i was just extremely confused lol#but IMMEDIATELY down with it - thankfully#idk… i see good and wacky times and i’m all for it - what can i say?
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like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day
then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)
#and then in immediate retrospect it's like I Mean I Knew It & even now to be saying it feels like i've effectively already said it#just more precise/specific Language available. & where even if it's like [restating this one idea] that's gonna say smthing new / a bit dif#winston billions#from the [immediately going HM HUH first time seeing his clips but taking months to be like He's Autistic(tm) Btw IMO] to now struggling to#say another Ay Word in discussing [he has a devoted workplace bully] as Abuse(tm) when plenty of what's abusive is considered ''normal'' or#correct or even Ideal while defining Abuse as xtreme outliers due to evil intentions & extraordinary situations (that you should avoid)#it's power structures & efforts to control & use/refuse people as things....plenty of ppl who can feel they're just acting Normal & Natural#while other ppl in entire groups Do have to perform which can only go wrong & be hurt / get that everyday trauma from their Normalcy.#those allistic social skills huh (again tldr invoking this concept just Is ableism....)#after a casual twenty plus years w/the gradual convergence of [figuring out i'm autistic] & [not blaming myself for being mistreated b/c#i'm autistic] does put a damper on expectations re: all interactions but it's like the way someone put it the other day#who hasn't said anything abt being autistic but that they don't think anyone's guaranteed any kinds of relationships/companionship incl#friendships (which i agree with; & it's not at all uncommon for ppl to be hard up for those out here. despite ppl treating socializing like#a meritocracy like hmm anyone doesn't have friends? sounds like that's on you not getting good / deserving that) & so he consciously#navigates how to like be genuinely satisfied w/a life that's just got him in it while being open to other ppl. thinking of how i've heard#abt Just That re: autistic ppl (but framed specifically re: dating; like might want a romantic relationship but ofc no one's guaranteed one#of those either (even if this too is definitely treated like in fact you Are guaranteed one & it is Again a meritocracy) And ofc there's#more barriers/hurdles for autistic ppl) & just going like yeah i've sure been always navigating that too while being open to ppl sure but#not feeling like i need that to change & sure asf not focusing on Putting Myself Out There lmao. i put myself out there by existing & by#saying things & by trying not to try to preemptively appease/appeal to anyone. seeing another quote today abt how they're nonverbal & this#results in being regarded as hostile like eugh been there enough; classic [putting myself out there] dramedy of terrors from back in the#day as a teen living on college figuratively sprinting around trying to figure it out; both the Autistacity & Abuse lol. & racking up more#of the latter for the former while i'm at it....nowadays like. certainly recent successes in [spontaneous alignments of being friends] had#to start w/like weeks into months of i'm not expecting someone else to have interest & in fact Am expecting; if nothing else; them to#realize w/e interest motivates them to talk w/me to be mistaken or w/e. as i'm struggling not to mask / beating back efforts to actively#appeal to anyone. being duly surprised when after months they still feel like talking to me. & even then just kind of entering another#phase of ''well but still'' lol like when interactions have largely felt like Buying Time at best#def on the same page as that guy like even [have friends] is not a Need. when i could go ''time to recharge socially'' & make it happen#what i like to do is go be in public '''''by myself'''' around ppl. truly the good shit. doing that kind of shit w/ppl has = nth wheeling.#now insert a short essay spinning off all this abt an approach to Language parallel to [concepts re Socializing] as tag thirty
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I bring it up because I just wanted to know no I can be proud of Daigo too!!!
i think it's ok to be proud of daigo dojima for getting this far with The Nastiest deck of cards he was dealt :) good for him :)
#snap chats#real shit tho#like first his parents are negligent if not potentially abusive#then his dad dies and listen Sohei Was Uber Cringe but still youre always gonna feel weird bout bad things happening to your parents#well not me my mom evil im built different but this aint bout me anyways#then daigo goes to juvie because he didnt know how to manage his emotions well and took it out on a baseball team#then he just wanderin the streets trying to fill the void until he gets sent to prison under false charges#and as soon as he's out BOOM. Do You Want This Burning Organization#GG he seemed just fine running it for three years but then Politics Happened and he Got Shot#lost his bestie (after bestie got guilty bout wanting to 'mercy kill' him)#and then not even a year later The Burning Organization is bankrupt because UNFORTUNATELY bestie was a GREAT accountant#and bros scrambling hes trying and he is fucking up but hes learning#Kinda he did run off in Y5 to make up for the whole baseball thing. not throwing hands with a baseball team- ok partially that kinda#and then he GETS SHOT. AGAIN.#then he got sent to jail in 6 for false arson charges... son please stop getting false charges...#and after his New Dad Number 3 'dies' he and his homies gotta get outta town less than a year later cause some twink said so#and THEN he gotta dissolve That Burning Organization and find everyone a new home and new way of life#and would ya look at him... he's still going strong.... im so proud of him and the fact he's not dead yet#tl;dr im very proud of daigo dojima even if he does silly things sometimes its honestly relatable#hes trying to hard to navigate this new path himself- not because he doesnt have anyone to help him (ok partially that)#and he just wants to prove to himself he's capable of doing this and he wants to make kiryu proud and do him right#UGH i love him.... im so proud of him thats all i can say i love him
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Dude.. my ex boyfriend totally did get me into conspiracy theory shit, even if unintentionally (i think its intentional im sure he believed in that shit. Would not surprise me at all.) At the time i was already pretty isolated from anyone online who mightve countered any of my dumb spiritual or alien related beliefs because of some dumb shit i said online making most of the friends and followers i made online generally avoid me, depending on who it was. I was just a regular pagan and then he showed me this weird video with all this weird conspiracy theory symbolism in it. I looked it up later on and looked up the meaning of the symbolism and came across a whole bunch of stuff posing itself as Secret Information The US Govt Doesnt Want You To Know About, etc. And then i just fell deeper into the conspiracy theory pipeline, traded my paganism for new age beliefs, and goddamn dude. Like we both got suspended from school bc he had a dumb idea to dumb shit there and i spent my time in detention fucking. Trying to read "the emerald tablets" or whatever tf. Its all coming back to me rn.
#anyways im not about to let yall make me feel guilty for falling in this direction anymore bc i was fuckin 14 and didnt know SHIT about us#politics aside from lgbt ppl deserve rights and to live like everyone else and same w all the other minorities (even tho i probably still#had issues i needed to work on around those things. still generally i wouldve considered myself progressive but apolitical)#and i was already at the time rejecting my christian upbringing and trying out satanism and paganism and such and so#i had a very rebellious mindset at the time. i also hated authority so the first antiesrablishment thing i saw i clung to bc it was#*close enough* to how i felt. none of that shit ever outwardly stated (at the time at least) that anything was abt jewish ppl and i was#filling in the parts about 'child sex rings' to be about christians bc thats how i knew them to be like. it just like. seems so obviously#something a christian would try to do. like a creepy priest or something. i imprinted my own meaning onto it#im not saying it was good but i definitely didnt go into it and stick to it for reasons some ppl might wanna believe#i was way more on the spiritual leaning side and the ~secret spiritual meaning~ of the world. like the flower of life or fuckin.#shit like how theres. idk. a fucking disc or something thats supposed to go on top of the great pyramids that super enlightened#people can only navigate like a spaceship or some shit?#idk the mythology of it all really fucking enraptured me. and i still liked the reptilians even tho they were supposed to be evil and#apparently an antisemitic dogwhistle. i thought it was the annunaki or whatever i was supposed to hate. at least.#the opinions were pretty mixed back then. admittedly i didnt really look up other ppls opinions on that stuff other than articles ppl wrote#like no forums or anything really. which is probably a very good thing i avoided those lol. regardless i thought of the reptilians#as being more neutral but generally looking out for themselves kinda like. the way a reptile would ig. but now that ik its a dog whistle#it really took a the magic out of all of that stuff for me :/ im disillusioned to say the least lol.#all that new age shit was appropriation. christianity rebranded. or weird shit people made up about atlantis or whatever sjjsksks#my favorite was the oceanis one where theres a star system where whales and dolphins come from#like that one was my favorite to believe in dhdjjsksksbdhs#imagine being on a star planet diving around in the sea of light u_u anyways it still sounds fun shsjskskwne.#i hope that one is at least more tame. though im sure its still somehow connected to everything else which im p sure it is#dude all of this information is just resurfacing about all of this shit. i could totally write a whole thing about all the conspiracy#theories i learned about. i might if only to make fun of it all sjdjksksks#yall ever heard of FUCKING david willcocks????#his willing cocks???????#his fucking ass#and gaia FUCKING tv#all that dumb shit
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hey, do you want to lose money AND your will to live all for the opportunity to make very little money doing a job that everyone warns you will sap you of your will to live? try applying for teacher certification oh my GOD
#i feel like the world's rudest idiot because i finally went full 'i want to speak to your manager' on the njedcert people#because i had no other options!!!!!#and after a while of trying i got a phone call from an extremely nice woman (apparently the only reasonable person who works there)#who was so helpful and nice and finally told me all the information i should have been given 3 months ago#i guess if i wasn't dealing with [redacted family emergency things]#and if i had a degree in the NJEdCert Portal from Bureaucratic Bullshit University#then all of this would have been sooo obvious and i wouldn't have needed to call and email everybody on earth#begging them to explain things to me#but like. it is weird how confusing it is! it is weird how much effort i had to put in!#i'm a young millennial! i should not have had this much trouble navigating this online portal or whatever the fuck!#THERE IS A TEACHER SHORTAGE. THIS SHOULDN'T REQUIRE THE TWELVE LABORS OF HERCULES TO FIGURE OUT#aaaaahhhhh it's fine it's FINE!!! it's fine#i spent so much money and screamed a lot. not at the people working there. just during my nightmares#but it's fine. i can finally get the certification to do the unpaid student teaching so i can maybe later get a different certification#to do the paid teaching. which i'm sure will pay so so great#and so equivalent to the effort i put in and the way i'll be treated at that job#the new jersey education system is lucky that teaching is my 1 passion and that i'm really good at it and that i love it#because otherwise i would've given up and become the joker by now#written by me
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the quest navigation in 3 is so hilarious to me. no, game, i will not go to timers & more to go to yopple inc, i literally have the pocket mirapo-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#why walk when you can pocket mirapo#also funny when i am. literally right next to a mirapo#the quest navigation only seems to recognize mirapos existing when you're playing as hailey n it's the only way to leave a location#might be the same if you're playing as nate n teleport there? idk if the raft shows up if you teleport-#granted that can only happen in like three areas i think#(grumbler's grotto hazeltine mansion n pecan port/dukesville)#idk what the game does when you're in new yo-kai city as hailey before the post-game since hidabat won't drive you#i did that in my playthrough but i don't remember what the navigation was trying to get me to do-
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Bea Leeds was slippy as fuck this morning walking into town. PLEASE BE CAREFUL because I’m sure Edinburgh’s even worse. Here there’s either mounds of grit on the pavement or nothing at all. Hope you get your Christmas shopping sorted xx
Hello my love
I survived, although I had to come home and immediately lie down after the hoards of people I encountered. The city centre here was actually alright, but the bit outside my flat is really hellishly icy, I slip and slide every time I take my dog out and there's not a salt box for miles.
I got maybe half of what I needed, I'm at the point where all the gifts I still have to get are for people who are difficult to buy for and that's why I don't have them. I did find a fab gift for my friends which is some zatoun olive oil from the One World shop because they have me round for dinner so much and love to cook, and I did also buy myself a book.
I hope you managed alright though today too! And got everything you were looking for!
#I have a fair amount of anxiety about trying to navigate Christmas in the least harmful way that I can conceive of#and as a result I find Christmas shopping to be hell#also in case anyone is interested#zatoun is a grassroots movement that work with farmers to provide grants for new trees to be planted in Palestine#I don't know a huge amount about them but someone I trust told me they're not shit and I hope that is true
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