#thirteen's lil antlers.......

[i-hate-empty-pockets]

honey don’t feed it, it will come back

Pairing: thirteenth doctor/yasmin khan

Rating: T

Word count: 10,096

Tags: thasmin, alternative universe, cryptid!thirteen, fluff, humour, one shot, a lil whump (just at the beginning), thirteen just wants a friend

Chapter summary:

‘The figure is no longer found upon the flat roof when Yaz next seeks them out.

Instead, after scanning the courtyard between side streets and residential housing, Yaz starts at the sight of florid eyes in the opposite corner. Each blink they take casts her in shadow for milliseconds at a time.

Talking of shadows; cast against the grubby, graffitied brickwork opposite, the figure bares antlers. Perfectly formed and perfectly striking, the only thing they lack is actual presence. The shape shifts into the light slightly; those horns and stag-like features do not show.’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223019

[ginnyweatherby]

now this is a batb au literally no one asked for

okay friends sit down and listen up this is going to sound weird but consider this: Full House AU these probably aren’t in chronological order I just need to get this out of my head

Okay so Gaston is the widower in this, aka Danny Tanner

even though he says like he likes widows in the movie he definitely doesn’t like being one

especially when he has six strapping boys and a little girl to take care of

I don’t know who his wife was, nor is it really relevant here

when their mother dies the kids are thirteen, eleven, ten, eight, six, five and two

Lefou is kind of a combination of Joey Gladstone and Uncle Jesse

He moves into Gaston’s basement to help take care of the kids, because even though Gaston is raising them well, taking care of seven kids alone is next to impossible

he goes by Uncle Lefou to the kids

he’s the goofy uncle who reads stories with silly voices and tucks the kids into bed every night with Gaston and omg omg i’m crying

Gaston takes half of the brood and Lefou takes the other half to make bedtime easier

they swap the next night so it’s equal time with each kid

if the kids don’t feel comfortable going to Gaston for some reason, they go to Uncle Lefou because they know he won’t judge them but he’ll let them know his opinion without sugarcoating it

like when the oldest, about fourteen mentions something about trying a drink (this is def a reference to an actual full house episode okay) and Lefou is the one to sit him down and explain how dangerous it can be

he promises not to tell Gaston as long as nothing is to come of it, but if it does he will

just... take a minute to think about Gaston playing baseball with nearly a full team of kids in the backyard

Lefou plays catcher even though he’s horrible at catching a ball

He spends most of the games chasing after foul balls that he failed to catch

I’d also like to point your attention to macho man Gaston doing manicures and having tea parties with his little girl

HAVE I MENTIONED STANLEY YET

BECAUSE HE’S THERE TOO

Stanley is basically Aunt Becky please and thank you

Stanley works with Gaston, and when Gaston finds out he’s gay he just goes like WAIT WHAT I KNOW SOMEONE AND HE’S V LONELY

Stanley turns a lovely shade of red at this

Lefou does too when he realizes what Gaston has done

“Gaston just because he’s gay doesn’t mean we’ll hit it off”

spoiler alert: they hit it off

The kids totally ship it too btw they’re the ones really pushing for them to get together

Stanley eventually moves in with the family making the house feel smaller but it’s fine with them because what’s one more tbh

and since they’re jesse and becky that means they adopt twins amirite

they’re named Thomas and Richard ofc

the kids are always stuck in an endless loop of “go ask your father”

“go ask your father” “i have three please be more specific”

omg Lumiere’s son is totally the Kimmy Gibbler in this situation

Lumiere and Plumette would definitely have the most beautiful children ever jsyk

and being their child, he is the most hashtag extra person ever

their son is the one causing the most trouble, and stays at their house way longer than Gaston extended the invite for

they adopt a kitten named Antlers who gets into all kinds of trouble all the time

it is literally the most excitable cat that you could meet but for a family like theirs it worked

Lefou is the one to teach all of the younger kids to ride a bike horse

Gaston had taught the older ones when his wife was still alive but now he really didn’t have much time for riding anymore

He caught all of them after falling off at least once, even the ones Gaston taught

Lefou is the most surprised with how well the girl rode

she seemed to be the most athletic of all the kids

which was a feat in itself all of Gaston’s kids were ridiculously strong and athletic

except for maybe the third eldest

he was shyer and Gaston never really understood him

that didn’t mean he didn’t love him to death though don’t get me wrong

he and Lefou formed a close bond over the years

when he decided to take dance lessons/drama classes/something like that Lefou was the one to shuttle him to and from his rehearsals

His teacher got sick and almost had to cancel multiple rehearsals shortly before a big performance

Stanley volunteered and the kids absolutely l o v e d him

He eventually became an assistant to the teacher because he was so good with them

all three of them gave standing ovations even that time he fell over and nearly ran off the stage in embarrassment

Gaston brought flowers and even cried a lil what a proud Dad

when one of the kids got sick, each other the parents took shifts staying up taking their temperature and singing lullabies and cuddling them to sleep

of course when you have seven kids (nine if Lefou and Stanley adopt) it’s never just one sick kid

like that time Lefou cooked something bad and the entire house got food poisoning

Gaston is an even bigger baby when he gets sick than the kids so Stanley has to stay and rub his back and sing him to sleep too omg

Lefou is very good at coming up with lullabies on the spot he really should have been a songwriter not a house husband

when the daughter gets older and into boys and makeup and stuff Stanley is the one she goes to

Stanley likes to wear elaborate eye makeup most days and from the day she first shows interest, she never leaves the house less than #perfect

oh, and who is this boy she’s needing advice for???

BELLE AND BEAST’S SON PLS

Gaston is not a fan of his daughter dating but he’s known Belle’s family forever so it could be worse

as the kids get older, the three dads (because, essentially they are all the dads) notice the kids needing them less and less

they’re sad about it, but look how well they raised them

“you did good, Gaston”

“I think we all did, Lefou... you too, Stan”

I’m cryin’