#third time's the charm lmfao

[lightningfilledsaber]

Tadao breasting boobily across your page <3 link to hornier version under cut

here or just at my ns fw blog @lightningfervor (18+ ONLY obviously, plz & thx)

[goodplace-janet]

big milestone - i enrolled in classes for the spring!

it's noteworthy because this is my third time attempting a first semester at college, but assuming i pass all of my current classes, this will be my first time actually continuing on to a second semester lmao

[wispurring-moss]

jeezus, this is now the second time in almost as many weeks that i've just???? randomly completely rolled my ankle while walking down a sidewalk & stumbled flat on my face, wtF is going on here hdjsbsndbdjdn

[valyrfia]

(edited it some so it’s actually closer to 700 words but it’s me the hypothetical anon. uh. yeah. not sure where this came from. or why i let the real life stats play such a huge role in my rpf analysis lmfao)

hi i have a lot of thoughts about charles and oscar also. especially what you said about oscar being one of the first to grow up with charles’s legacy. i was thinking about how like, f2 doesn’t really have legends, not yet. however, charles leclerc is sure as hell the closest they’ve got. to this day, no one has beaten his point rate (oscar is the closest, 51.6 to 53.4) or his pole record. no one has surpassed his win record or his win rate. and he did that in the inaugural season. charles leclerc haunts the halls of prema racing etc etc.

speaking of chronically haunting the narrative i do not think choscar are sebmark pt2 but i do think they are kind of like mirrors with fucked up reflections of each other. mark webber looked at oscar and knew why he’d never won a wdc and simultaneously sebastian vettel looked at charles and knew he’d never win one again. 

oscar entered the junior series just as charles was graduating; he won his first championship as charles won his first f1 race. and then he signed with charles’s former team and he kept on winning until he set a career record that’s unbroken to this day. but oscar *still didn’t beat charles.*

finally they were in the same series, but it wasn’t going as well as f2 had for oscar, or as 2022 had for charles. in their first race, neither of them even finished, and oscar spent most of the season multiple places lower than charles, slowly closing the position gap. 

but when oscar got his first GP podium, a third place finish, what position was charles in? fourth, of course. following closely. oscar has stood on a GP podium 10 times; in half of them charles has been there with him. and yet, they have *never* split the podium. they’re always 1-2 or 2-3, following each other the way oscar has been following charles since he was sixteen and watching him set the standard, since he was eighteen and racing with his former team, since he was twenty-one and sharing the grid with him for the first time. charles makes jokes on twitter and seeks oscar out to talk with him and inevitably they are in each other’s orbit, not magnets, but circling, following.

oscar is calm, cool, collected; charles is charming, a PR team’s wet dream. except oscar happily declared that he loves charles during a radio interview, and charles used to talk about how much oscar deserved an f1 seat. except oscar’s entire face lights up when charles approaches him after the race, and charles puts his hand around oscar’s waist like it’s natural. except there was Monaco, and Monza, and Baku, and Qatar.

it’s hard to imagine they would be predestined. they aren’t childhood rivals like max and charles; barely gave the other so much as a glance last year. but, well, they race against each other like it’s natural, instinctive until it’s not, learned somewhere but never consciously taught. charles calls oscar’s bluff, nurtures his tires through an impressive one-stop and makes oscar work to stay on him; oscar takes the long way around, dares charles to hold off on the brakes for as long as oscar dared to in order to get past him, and they’re both attached to the other when they get out of the car, following them to the cooldown room or the weighing station. talking or maybe just soaking it in.

not fated, not intentional. just, well, oscar has been trying to beat charles leclerc in some way since he signed with prema. just, well, charles has been able to win over oscar without even having to try since at *least* their Monaco shenanigans. (and don’t even get me started on how MAX haunts this fucking narrative).

so like. it’s papaya and rosso corsa but it’s also bold overtakes and fierce defending but it’s also just oscar and charles. despite my rambling I think that is the core of it; together, they are simple. oscar and charles easily become oscarandcharles on the track, in the cooldown room, outside of the paddock. etc etc

Choscar anon, welcome. You are music to my ears. I think the brilliant thing about Choscar which you've summarised so beautifully in this ask is they are the ship for the pure F1 rpf ENJOYER. They are made so much better by the intertwining narrative and parallels to all these other ships (and if you ever want to come back with a part 2 as to how Max haunts the narrative....I WILL be seated).

[fiona-my-love]

Headcanons for what Valentino, Angel Dust, Asmodeus, and Fizzarolli are like on dates? - Platypus anon

YESYESYESYESYESSSS

How Valentino, Angel Dust, Asmodeus, and Fizzarolli are on dates

Angel Dust

- He’s gonna SPOIL YOU.

- There’s two different kinds of dates he’ll take you on—it’ll either be a big drag show that he takes you to, or just a chill bar or movie date.

- You guys are getting dolled up. Case and point.

- Super affectionate. He’s yours and you’re his, he doesn’t give a fuck!!

- As long as he has you by his side, he’s not letting anyone boss you two around.

- Cherri isn’t a third wheel exactly, but she’s a killer wingman! It’s always a good time when the three of you get together. She knows your boundaries, and you know hers.

- You two definitely run the town on date nights. Whatever trouble you two get into is just apart of the fun.

- Shopping sprees together!!

Valentino

- Another one that’ll spoil you!!!

- Anything you want, you get. No questions asked.

- Expect the vibe to be off the entire time lmao

- Sugar Daddy. That’s it, that’s the headcanon

- He’ll probably try to talk you into a really sketchy deal half way through. Don’t push your luck.

- BUT, if it makes it any better, he does sometimes show genuine interest in what you’re saying! He knows how to turn his charm on.

- He’s a bit distant- like, when you want something he just does it. No additional comments.

- The more you ask for, the more you’re gonna have to do to pay him back, so make the most of it lmfao

Asmodeus

- I’m stating to see a pattern. I think all of these guys are the type to spoil,,

- Sugar Daddy BUT. Complete opposite of Valentino.

- Instead of just getting people to wait on your hand and foot while he stares creepily, he’s gonna be absolutely PAMPERING you!

- He loves to see you happy, no matter the cost!

- Definitely taking you shopping, no questions asked.

- He’s by no means an obsessive perfectionist, but he does want everything to be perfect for you.

- And, it will be whatever you consider to be a perfect date. From movie nights at home to expensive dinners, he wants you to know how much he cares.

- After everything is said and done, you two go home and cuddle. Not only is he super warm and cozy, but he’ll make you a lovely breakfast in the morning!!

Fizzarolli

- Oh boy, you two are gonna get into some trouble!

- Make sure to dress nice if you’re going out! The paparazzi will be on your ass.

- You two are for sure blowing Mammon’s money on some random shit.

- Definitely taking his quievies (I think that’s what they’re called?? The fucked up chihuahuas) with you two on occasion!!

- Anywhere you want to go, you two are going. Perks of being famous.

- He would totally wink at you during big performances. He can’t take his eyes off you, and everyone knows it.

- You’re going rollerskating, along with other activities like that.

- He spends forever getting ready, but he always looks amazing, so can you blame him?

[garagesesh]

thunder // anakin skywalker

★ pairing(s): anakin skywalker x (f!)reader ★ summary: you and anakin had a falling out and now you’re forced to reconcile after a mission gone wrong. ★ warning(s): sexual content! graphic descriptions of wounds! blood! enemies to lovers? ★ a/n: enjoy :) this shit long af sorry lmfao title is from thunder by miss lana

␛ to masterlist

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When you received the encrypted message this morning by Master Mace Windu, you were confused. Sent in the middle of the night with barely any explanation given other than a time and place to meet. It wasn’t unlike Mace to send abrupt messages at all times of the night, but it was strange to have no details given whatsoever.

You struggled with the message all day, going over and over in your mind what was going on, what could happen. You weren’t exactly the most obedient Jedi in the Order and there was recently an incident on Lothal where you had taken some of your men to quietly gather some intel of the Separatists who held Capital city.

Except it didn’t exactly happen quietly and a full blown incursion had broke out. General Kenobi and his fleet had to step in and evacuate you and your men.

While forever grateful for Obi-Wan saving your skin, you were forever guilty of your incompetence.

“There’s been an emergency.” Was the first thing that slipped out of Mace Windu’s mouth the moment you crossed the threshold into the meeting room.

“What emergency?” Silently relieved that this was not what you believed it to be.

“Master Kenobi has already been debriefed and will arrive later to discuss intimate details of the plan with you.”

“How secret of a mission is this that it’s just me and Obi-Wan? No reinforcements?”

“It’s not just you, Master. We’re waiting on one other.”

“Who?”

It was at that moment the doors slid open revealing Anakin, the third member of the small secret trio of the mission. His blood boiled, his jaw clenched, and his stomach churned at the sight of you standing at the other side of the room, avoiding his gaze.

Why? Why were you here? A million reasons as to why ran through his head and none of them sounded good.

“General Skywalker.” You smiled, trying to ignore the way Anakin’s hands curled into fists. Now you knew why you weren’t privy to who exactly was on the mission.

See, you and Anakin didn’t exactly get along. Once, years ago, but now it wasn’t possible for him at least, to be around you.

“What is she doing here?” Anakin’s voice dripped with annoyance.

Your heart panged at the slight but you swallowed it away instead, smiling at him. “Charming as always, Skywalker.”

“She, General Skywalker,” Windu snapped, pointing to you at the opposite end of the room. “Is a member of the Jedi Order and you are in no position to question on why a fellow Jedi is at any meeting. Do you understand?”

“But-“ Anakin started but was quickly shut down.

“Do you understand, Anakin?” Windu’s tone didn’t allow Anakin to choose no.

“Yes, Master Windu.” He grumbled.

“Good.” He pushed the green button on the dashboard, illuminating the room with the soft blue glow, map of Ajan Kloss. “We have reports of a disturbance in the force on the outer rim moon of Ajan Kloss.”

Windu motioned toward the small blue moon. “We have reason to believe that the Separatists are scouting the moon for a new base to begin expanding their efforts further out in the Outer rim.”

“So what is the plan?” You asked.

“Find the disturbance and hopefully stop the expansion.”

“Simple enough.” You nodded.

The door slid open once more, this time Obi-Wan quietly entered. Chin in his hand, circling the table evaluating every inch of the map.

“Master Kenobi.” You called out to him, smiling.

“General.” He nodded. “I’m happy to see you could help. Anakin and I both appreciate your help and expertise on this matter. Don’t we?”

Anakin grumbled, but nodded anyway.

“Thank you, Master.” You smiled at the older man before you. “I’m happy to help.”

“Good.” He returned your smile and looked over to Anakin a moment, placing a hand on his former Padawan’s shoulder before turning back to you. “We’re both happy to have it.”

Anakin huffed his obvious displeasure, loud enough for you to hear it. He was not happy about the situation and no doubt felt blindsided by Obi-Wan’s lack of keeping him in the know of what was going on. You didn’t care, he was any other Jedi on a mission to you and you weren’t going to let his bad attitude and anticipated harsh comments let you from successfully fulfilling your duties and Obi-Wan seemed to thankfully on the same page.

“I trust you three will do this properly.” Windu’s piercing gaze bore into you.

“Yes, Master.”

“Good, you two may go.”

Anakin followed you out, sighing heavily as the door slid closed.

You swallowed heavily, the pressure of his gaze into the back of your head made you face him. “I don’t want to do this either, Anakin.”

“Good. Glad you agree.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t screw this one up like you did on Lothal.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“Yeah, sure.” Anakin moved closer, his real hand wrapping around your upper arm. His lips brushed against the top of your ear, “Don’t get in my way.”

Anakin pulled back completely, letting you go and beginning down the hall away from you. “See you tomorrow, Y/n.”

Dawn was breaking when you arrived at the docking bay. Anakin was perched on a supply box, laughing at something one of his men had said.

There was a time you would be there with them, making him laugh. You swallowed hard.

“Where’s Obi-Wan?” Bag slung over your shoulder, you approached the men and Anakin.

Rolling his eyes, he jumped off the box. His demeanor completely changed back into seriousness and annoyance at your presence.

“Why?” Anakin hummed as he crossed his arms across his chest.

“Because I have to report to him, Anakin.” You matched his bite.

“He’s on the cruiser.”

You nodded, pushing past him purposely bumping your shoulder hard into his own. Hoping that maybe your bag even hit him as well as you entered in the small jumper ship. Putting your things into a locker before jumping into the cockpit and starting the pre flight procedures.

“I’m flying.” Anakin’s voice entered the cockpit. Of course. Jackass.

“Fine.” You released the pilots controls, not wanting a fight so early in the morning. Instead, you commed to Obi-Wan letting him know of your departure and soon arrival.

You two avoided each other on the cruiser during the standard weeks journey. Waltzing your ways down abandoned corridors and choosing odd meal times.

All of your efforts proved to be in vain when Obi-Wan let you know that Anakin and you were to go solo into the jungle in hopes to use Obi-Wan and his men as a distraction.

“We should head south. Towards the river, there should be small villages along there.” Anakin pointed at the map.

“That’s almost a four day hike,” Sighing as you disagreed with him. “And completely off track.”

“The Separatists will be in those villages, Y/n.” He shook his head, “And whatever Sith scum is on this rock will be there too.”

It began to not rain, pour. Your hair was completely drenched and so was Anakin’s. Thunder rolled in and the fog began to settle.

“If we follow my plan, we won’t end up dead like the men on Lothal.”

That was it.

You had enough of Anakin Skywalker. “Shut up!”

You pushed him to the ground, jumping on top of him and straddling his body.

“What is your problem!?” He choked out. Quickly flipping you over into the dirt, the wind knocked out of your lungs with a huff.

“Get off me!” You wanted to spit in his face. You began to claw at his face, but he quickly grabbed your wrists and grounded them in the mud.

Thunder clapped above. You pounded at his chest, “Get off me!”

Another boom from the sky had him off you. “We need to make shelter!”

You reached for the map in your belt. Feeling for the tech, you found none but scraps. The map was completely destroyed. You reached for the com, it was of the same fate. There was no hope of trying to salvage the tech in your hand.

“You fucked us over!” Anakin shouted over the thunder and rain.

“Shut up!”

“You’re the one who got us in this situation. If only you hadn’t blown up at me, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“I’m the one who got us here?” You scoffed. “Need I remind you that this was your idea?”

“My idea?” He pointed a finger at his face as his eyes narrowed at you. “You suggested that we divert completely!”

“And you suggested that we go this route! Plus-“

“Doesn’t make it my idea!”

“You didn’t let me finish!”

“And I won’t!”

“I have never met someone so infuriating, so narcissistic, and so downright arrogant as you in my entire life!”

“I’m infuriating?” He snapped back with venom. “Have you ever met yourself?”

“You’re so-“ You stopped short.

“So what?” It was only then that you realized that the chipped deep blue armor that wrapped around his shoulders were mere inches from your chin. His chest was mere centimeters away from your own and that he towered over you as his deep blue eyes glowered.

“Just forget it.” You sighed, stepping back, trying to escape his

“No, go on, I’d love to hear it.”

“No, Anakin.”

“I don’t even know how I used to put up with you!”

The brush moved above you. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

The dark ripple of the force electrified your nerves once more. “There, did you feel it?”

“Stop it, nothing’s there. Let’s keep going.”

“Anakin,” His name stopped him dead in his tracks, you hadn’t used it in years. “There’s something following us. I can feel it.”

“It’s just the storm.”

“Anakin.” You looked at him with eyes wide.

“Hello, Jedi.” Ventress hissed from above. Her lightsabers hissed as the sith ignited the two as she towered over you.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” Her lips twisted into a sadistic grin that made you twinge.

Anakin ignited his blue to your green.

Ventress cackled, raising her double lights over her head to make a slash at the both of you as she dropped to the jungle floor. A master in her own right with dueling two at the same time.

Anakin lunged forward first, his blue clashing with red. Purple illuminating their faces, you saw this as your chance to enter the fray. Your green went for her side, trying for a swipe at her rib cage. Ventress easily blocked your move.

You and Anakin fought hard as you slowly made progress pushing her farther and farther into the jungle floor. At one point, the green blade of your saber made contact with her leg and Anakin’s sliced up her arm.

You were making good progress and might even capture the with.

That’s until you came upon the ravine.

Ventress’s leg came up, her foot square in the chest of Anakin’s plate of armor and pushed hard.

Anakin fell.

He tumbled over the top of the ravine and into the pit of darkness, his frame shadowed by the rain and fog that enveloped the depth below.

“Anakin!” Your lungs screamed for air, your grip slipped, allowing for Ventress to slice open your shoulder, searing your robes and the skin underneath. You fell to your knees, completely at the mercy of the Sith.

“Oops?” Ventress laughed. “Looks like Skywalker won’t be making it home.”

Your head hung in defeat. Wet hair falling in a curtain around you, shielding your shame. You failed. You failed yourself. You failed Anakin. The only thing that awaited you was death that came in the form of her twin blades crossed over at your neck.

But the blow never came. The hum of her lightsabers ceased and the only thing left was the rain, thunder, and your heavy breaths. Then you descended into the pit, screaming in agony as debris fell onto your wound.

The ravine was just as clear as it was from above. Holding onto the seared wound in your shoulder, your search became frantic noticing the stream was shades of blood. “Anakin!”

His body was unnaturally situated in the shallow water. His eyes were closed as you knelt in front of him.

“Anakin.” You whispered above his unmoving form.

“Anakin! Please!” He was alive you could feel that but his life force was fading. You scanned his body, looking for the wounds that ran the river red. Then you saw his leg.

His leg was mangled, bloody, and almost snapped in half.

It made you nauseous to look at it, but you needed to stop the bleeding or he would die. There was no way this would heal properly without medical attention and weeks worth of time in a bacta tank.

Your frantic hands shed your belt, practically tearing the dark outer robes off your top, leaving only the thin tank top underneath left. The blue fabric of his pants were slick with his blood, dyeing the blue, black. With every second passed, the more his blood poured from his leg.

You couldn’t wrap the wound successfully without straightening it out. The thought of maneuvering the bone back into a straight position was gross and something you had never done before, but you had to get him out of this ravine and get help immediately and with the com broken it wasn’t likely to be found anytime soon.

His unnaturally bent leg made unpleasant noises as you slowly moved it back into a e position, thanking the force he was unconscious to feel the pain. You felt bad for the pain he would feel when he would wake up, if he woke up.

But you couldn’t think like that, no, you would stop the bleeding, find help, and he would be fine. Everything would be fine. You two would go back to Coruscant and the endless fighting would resume.

You traveled for hours with him on your back. Taking only a few moments to eat from a bush or drink from a stream. You tried your best to find the way you had once come. But it was proving difficult with the cloud cover and the haze of pain from your shoulder.

It was nightfall when you found a waterfall with a pool of water. Just behind the curtain of water was a large enough cave that would easily fit the two of you and then some.

You laid Anakin to rest on the floor. Immediately going for water to wash your hands and then his wound. It took hours to delicately clean the break and skin, you didn’t realize you had fallen asleep until you saw the light streaming through the water.

On the first day, Anakin hadn’t awaken. He laid silently on the cave rock floor. You hadn’t left his side, only once every few odd hours to get more water to clean his wound.

You were reluctant to leave him but you need to find food and find something better to bind his leg and maybe find a way to get to Obi-Wan.

On the second day you made a make shift bed for him to lay on made out of palm ferns that you tied on your back for an easier climb.

On the third day, you meditated. Hoping that you could reach out and contact Obi-Wan through the force, but you weren’t lucky enough to have a bond with him.

On the fourth day, a cold front came in. It wasn’t anything like the chills on Coruscant but it was a significant drop in the average temperature for Ajan Kloss.

On the fifth day he woke up.

“Y/n?” You thought that the hallucinations from lack of sleep, food, and proper hydration began when you heard his voice for the first time. But the voice persisted, calling your name again.

“Don’t move.”

“What happened?”

“Ventress.”

“Have you heard from Obi-Wan?”

“Would we still be in this cave if I had?”

“No.”

“Stop moving.”

“Stop telling me what to do.”

“Your leg almost snapped in half.”

“I know. I can feel it.” Anakin winced. “How long have I been out?”

“Five days.”

“How long do you think-?”

“I don’t know.” You unwound the scrap of red fabric that came from his robes. He tried sitting up again but groaned in pain when you poured water from a flagon you had made out of some hollow shell you had found at the edge of the river and onto the wound.

“Kriff!” He jerked his leg which only caused him more pain. “Fuck.”

“Sit still.” You wanted to slap his stupid face. “If you would just stay put, I could finish this faster and then you wouldn’t be in so much pain.”

“And you haven’t gone out and tried to find help?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I guess I should’ve let you die then!”

“No.” He looked down at your hands, watching as you worked on wrapping his leg with the freshly washed makeshift linens. “I’m sorry for what I said before Ventress.”

“It’s okay.” You brushed it off. It hurt but you weren’t going to stew over it. Silence fell over you again.

“We used to be inseparable.” Anakin uttered one evening when the rain came down. His back was currently propped up against the cave wall, watching you as you cut into some fruit you had found earlier that day. Your hair was drenched, and beads of water rolled down your neck and bare shoulders. Your skin glistened under the shimmer of the waterfall.

“A long time ago.” You huffed. It was annoying to hear him try to bring up the past between you.

“It was only four years ago.”

“Yeah, a long time ago.” You didn’t really want to have this conversation with him.

“We stopped talking.” Yeah no shit.

Sighing heavily, you put down the small shard of stone. You couldn’t quite understand why he was suddenly bringing this up right now. After all, it was he who stopped talking to you, leaving you to wonder for months what you had done wrong. It left questions burning at the tip of your tongue every time you were in close proximity of each other.

“Why?” Why? The gaul of Anakin finally got to you.

But after everything that had happened in the last week, it was as good as time as any to ask the question that had been itching at the back of your mind for. “Was what happened on Corellia that bad?”

“What?”

“Corellia. Plo and Obi-Wan took us to Corellia to help locals from the Pykes. We had tried to help annex them from the spice lords. We got split up and you and I were sent alone and then we had um-“

“Yeah, I remember Corellia.” He stopped you before you could finish the sentence, knowing full well what you were about to say.

“After that,” You continued. “You stopped talking to me. You started to act different around me, like you do now…I just didn’t understand. I still don’t understand.”

Anakin was silent for a long time. His head turned and he watched as the waterfall gushed down. “I remember when we were barely seventeen and you had training with Plo every morning from sunrise until noon but this time he was called away for an emergency on…I think it was Kijimi?”

“Where are you going with this, Anakin?”

“Let me finish.”

“I-“

“Just listen.”

“Fine.”

“Obi-Wan offered to train you himself when Plo was gone. He trained you hard for two weeks and I watched all of it. I sat behind the Uneti tree and watched you guys fight. It was like a sort of dance. I had never seen him and you flow so easy before. It was mesmerizing.”

“Okay? I don’t understand the point of this whole story?”

“Can you just be quiet? I’m trying to explain myself in the best way I can and you’re being rude.”

“That’s thick.”

“Whatever. Look, I just got nervous around you.”

“Nervous? Anakin, I thought we were closer than ever after Corellia and your explanation is that you became nervous?” Your eyebrow arched. Stars, he was dumber than you remember.

“You know what? Forget it.”

“No. I’m sorry, finish.”

He sat there in silence for a moment as he eyed you out of the corner of his eye, watching as you moved to sit next to him; propping your back against the wall, mirroring his position. Clearing his throat, his eyes fell to his hands, “I-I wasn’t freaked out. I was jealous and standing there only days after Corellia watching you two train in such fluidity I realized right then and there.“

The silence was loud as he looked back down at you. His eyes searched yours with a look you hadn’t seen since you were seventeen.

No. He couldn’t. This couldn’t be the reason to why your friendship had fallen apart.

The silence settled again in the cave as you watched him. “Anakin…”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pity me.” He swallowed “You rejected me.”

“I didn’t reject you.” You weren’t even awake when you had left him laying in bed alone. You had thought it was for the best. You didn’t want Plo or especially Obi-Wan finding the two of you wrapped up in the sheets together. “I didn’t think it wise to stay and you took me leaving as rejection. You were the one who ignored me for months! You are not the victim here, Anakin!”

He fell silent, looking out at the undulating gushing water. It was moments before you spoke again.

“I liked you too. Once.”

“I know.” He smirked. “You were obvious.”

“I know.”

“It was endearing.”

“I didn’t quite grasp the concept of no attachments at ten.”

“I still don’t.”

You shrugged and stared at the raging waterfall, unwilling to meet his gaze.

“Do you…” Anakin’s voice trailed off, lingering in the air, allowing for the pounding water to take over the conversation until he was brave enough to finish it.

“Do I what?”

“Do you hate me?”

“No! Oh my stars, no.”

“So you still like me?”

“No.” You were telling the truth, you missed him sure, but it wasn’t love anymore. “I do not.”

“But you did once.”

“I was ten.”

“Ten, twenty, a hundred. Love just doesn’t die.”

“Wow, you’re a real poet Skywalker. A shame your flowery words of endearment will never be heard upon the ears of lovers.”

“Look, you are smart, funny, strong, and you paid attention to me. I just had misplaced my admiration into childish fantasies that had led me astray until I had found balance again.” He sighed. “And I don’t hate you. You hate me though.”

“I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.” That was all it took for Anakin to finally kiss you. Press his own to yours, in a fervor that was everything and nothing you had to said to each other.

His lips were warm.

Chapped.

“Anakin-“ You moaned into his mouth. It was electric, like the wire from all those years ago was plugged back into its socket.

He hummed into your mouth, his fingers were still entangled in your hair. Grasping at the base of your skull, pulling at the tendrils. Your lips moved in perfect sync as he began pulling you towards him, trying to position you on his lap.

“Your leg.”

“I don’t feel it.”

“Anakin.” You bit your lip. It wasn’t right. “We can’t.”

“I might die.”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I might never see the light ever again. Might never feel the warmth of another person ever again.”

He pulled you to him again, kissing you with all of the pent up anger, guilt, and want the past four years had built.

His warm hand slipped under your shirt, fingertips caressing the slick, sweaty skin that was a sea of goosebumps from the contact. Skating up your rib cage to find your breast.

Moaning into his mouth, you forgot what it was like to be touch, no caressed by him. It felt so wrong but that’s what must’ve been so good about it.

You retracted from him, pulling your shirt off completely. Baring yourself to him. His lips found your nipple, sucking lightly at the sensitive tip, your head rolled back in pleasure.

You could feel him at you clothed core, your hips rocking against his hard cock.

“Fuck.” His breath was hot against your skin but never relented. “If you keep doing that I’ll cum.”

“Then fuck me.”

His tip was swollen and leaking with pre-cum when you helped him with his pants. You wanted to take him in your mouth but wanted him inside you more.

“Fuck.” He moaned deeply as you sank your wet cunt onto his pulsating erection. You couldn’t help but moan out in pleasure yourself as you felt him bottom out in you.

With careful undulating rolls you moved on top of him.

It was by no means romantic, this clash between you. Needy and primal, it was a release of everything. Every quick slash of the tongue. Every glance and every subliminal touch.

“I know about you and Obi-Wan.” Anakin’s fingers entwined within your hair, tenderly caressing your scalp as he braided small sections with your head laid on his bare chest.

There was no reason to deny what he said. You hummed against his skin.

“Do you love him?” He continued to play with your hair as he quietly whispered. There was no malice, no jealously, no discontent behind his question.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

The next few days continued as they had prior to what happened between you and Anakin. There had been no mentions of you having sex and none of Obi-Wan.

Anakin’s leg wasn’t getting better but it wasn’t getting worse. Which you took as a good sign.

“I’m going to get more food.” You were running out of the little supply you had previously gotten and he needed as much energy and nutrients as possible.

“Okay.”

“Please don’t do anything stupid.”

“Would never dream of it.”

You looked back once more before descending the rock and into the jungle floor. Purple fruit hung from low bushes that proved edible and somewhat sweet. Which was good enough for your empty stomachs.

You plucked a few into your makeshift satchel you had created from scraps of Anakin’s robes. It wouldn’t be enough if you were expecting to be here longer, so you moved deeper into the jungle. Hoping to find a piece of meat of any kind at this point.

You felt it first. A movement in the overgrown brush. Then you saw it.

A figure, no, it was definitely a man moved through the jungle alone. Whacking his way through the brush with looked like a vibroblade, as he tried to navigate the tricky, uneven floor.

“Obi-Wan?” Maybe you were tired, hungry, and downright delirious at this moment but for a fleeting second, the auburn hair was one thing it was the white and tan armor that was unmistakable.

“Obi-Wan!” The fruit dropped from your hands and squashed into the mud below, but you didn’t care. Obi-Wan had stopped his pursuit through the flora and spun around.

“Y/n?” His eyes widened and he dropped the vibroblade to the muddied ground. You sprinted towards the Jedi Master and practically jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his body. The warmth he radiated was comforting and familiar. He was sweaty and smelled a bit but you were sure you were ten times worse.

Obi-Wan’s mouth found yours as he brought your body closer to his in desperation and happiness.

He pulled back from your body but his arms were still wrapped around you. His cerulean eyes searched your face and his hand came to caress your dirty, sweaty cheek. He wasn’t sure you were really real.

“Yes, it’s really me.” You half laughed, half sobbed.

“You’re hurt.” His fingertips gingerly graced the surface of your wrapped shoulder. You had forgotten about your wound.

“I forgot.” You laughed through the tears, looking down at the disgusting unkept wrappings.

“You forgot?” He laughed, shaking his head. “I guess you’re okay then?”

“I’ll live.” You smiled, kissing him once more.

“Where’s Anakin?”

You hesitated, worried at how he would react to the news of Anakin almost dying and his leg needing extensive medical attention.

“Anakin is injured.” His eyebrow raised at the news. “Badly.”

“What happened?”

“Ventress.”

“Where is he?”

“A few clicks from here.” You began moving back towards the waterfall. “I can’t move him. Not by myself. He needs medical attention now or he’ll lose the leg.”

“I’ll com Cody.” Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed as he calmly talked to the Commander, detailing the extent of Anakin’s injuries and of yours.

You led him to the cave, detailing the events of Ventress and everything in between. “I cleaned the wound twice a day. I ran out of cloth so I washed and reused what I had, but it was running water. The bleeding has stopped and has begun to scab over but his leg is damaged badly, Obi-Wan. It’ll be weeks in a bacta tank before he can walk properly again.”

Stepping into the cave with Obi-Wan, Anakin was just as you had left him but now he was smirking at the sight of you two.

“Took you long enough.”

You were evacuated from Ajan Kloss.

The team was a sight for sore eyes. Anakin was brought to the medbay immediately, induced into sleep he floated around the bacta tank with his mangled leg suspended.

With relief, you found your quarters after a quick check up, proper meal, and a long shower.

Wrapped up in a blanket, you were sitting in the window ledge. Watching the stars go by, waiting for the jump to hyper speed.

Reflecting on the past few weeks had brought peace. Happy with the loose ends now tied.

When Obi-Wan entered through the door with two cups of steaming tea, the uneasiness of guilt and embarrassment found you. He was so good to you, giving you the world and happiness. He didn’t have to know what happened.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Hello.” Obi-Wan reciprocated, handing you the mug. “Are you alright?”

You hummed. “You?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Yes, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Thank you for saving me.” You leaned your head on his shoulder, your eyes threatening to close from the lack of sleep catching up to you. You felt safe here next to Obi-Wan and for a moment you thought about what Anakin said, pondering for a moment before letting your body fully sink down. “Again.”

“Of course.” He kissed the top of your head, then leaning his cheek on your hair. Letting the quiet envelope the two lovers.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

␛ to masterlist | want more anakin? check out this!

[wackpedion]

i know you're gonna get like 10 million seth asks for the ask game so i'm gonna send in dipper pines instead!!!

DIPPERRRRR ouhhhh I love him so much. ok so from this ask game:

favorite thing about them

Can I just say everything??? Idk he's just. such a silly. just a boy. He loves his sister, is anxiety riddled and insecure, very trans and autistic, a bright and curious kid, he's just amazing overall. He does has his flaws but that just adds to his lovable charm, like he's just a kid!!! ofc he'll be selfish and get up to trouble, and I wholly support it !

least favorite thing about them

Nothing. His crush on Wendy does make me cringe a bit but its ok I forgive him.

favorite line

CAN I SAY THE LAST LINE OF THE SERIES I think it was the last I don't remember. It's so good pulls at my heart. "If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods... waiting."

also one of the Funny Lines that come to mind is "Pacific is the worst! And I'm not just saying that out of the jealousy, I would say it to her face." [Cue Dipper opening the door to Pacifica] "You're the worst." [Slams door]

brOTP

FORD well it's more familial but I think it counts. Their relationship as uncle and nephew is sososoo important to me... Them both being nerds, how Dipper looks up to Ford and want's to be like him, the obvious parallels drawn between the sets of twins in general. Ughhhh. If we're going for a more strictly defined Friend relationship tho ermmm idk .the thing with Gravity Falls is that there's a lack of characters around Mabels and Dippers age, and the ones that exist tend to serve as antagonists

OTP

DIPCIFICAAAA not like there's many other options, as stated above. but still ughhhh they're so cute Northwest Manor Mystery ☹☹☹☹ The episode of all time. It was so cute and nice to see Pacifica show a softer side and prove herself as more than just a rich girl stereotype

nOTP

None really, theres nothing I'm particularly averse to. I suppose Candy and Dipper? Although I haven't seen many if any people actually ship that. Oh actually Wendipper I Can't with LMAO. First of all Dipper is too cringefail, second of all not fond of the age gap, third of all I just can't see Wendy being into him like Please. oh also not a big fan of Pinecest. ok seems like I Was able to turn up nOTPs lmfao

random headcanon

gonna make one up rn He's what I call conditionally ambidextrous, like me! Basically he naturally uses his left hand for certain things, and his right for others. Also that he'll need/get glasses as he grows up :3

unpopular opinion

I am wholly indifferent to billdip and IDC if people ship it, It's not my business what other people do with their pixels. and tbh the themes of manipulation and a power dynamic can be interesting when explored a certain way

song i associate with them

Oh I haven't thought about this.... gimme a moment... ermm Puppet Boy by DEVO? Cuz of that one episode lmao

favorite picture of them

I am not in a place to go through episodes and take screenshots (I am in class) so I am just going off of what turns up on google

This is SUCH a cool shot, the whole sequence of Bill coming into scene in general was so creative and amazing. And it comes from my favourite episode <3

Also idk if this counts but, Bipper <3 what a silly guy

[petrichorium]

YOU GET THE VISION YES and its like!!! He's filthy in the letters in a much more direct /sounding/ way, but he can do this thing with a slight switch of his body language, or a lowering of his tone, that makes even more flowery verbal statements absolutely boil your brain out of your ears. And he learns so fast! Memorizes the way you respond and never forgets, even if sometimes he waits to let you THINK he's forgotten before using whatever it was again.

Mr. Mihawk I am deeply amenable to making up for lost time, or pretending that there was time to make up for, if that's what you need. (also lmfao i'm a sucker for marines fucking around and finding out with Mihawk in any context that's delightful). It's a fun game with Shanks tho bc he's his own sort of nightmare, but so endeared by you both that he's willing to play both sides. Twirls his hair and plays like you're both after the swordsman, only to sidle around with that crooked grin and suggest to his old friend something else you might be amenable to, from the sound of it. :3c (sorry for two asks in one night if i'm being obnoxious feel free to disregard alkdsjfas)

No exactlyyyyyyyy exactly exactly. Hes a little rusty but picks it all up sooooo fast—a little too fast, truly, bc he’s tumbling down the cliff of genuine feelings before he realized he was approaching it and now he has to deal w those pesky attachment issues while keeping a stone face even as he’s left breathless at the sight of your averted eyes and the sound of your flustered laugh. Hes tucking every little detail away in the back of his head and he’s ruminating on them all every second you’re apart, and he gets so antsy in the meanwhile that he gets a bit more candid than he might like in those letters.

Shanks is the only exception to Mihawk’s possessiveness I think. He’s not exactly one to share at all, but while at first his hand itches to draw Yoru and break his years long refusal to fight a one-armed man for the crime of unabashedly flirting with you, he finds himself enraptured watching the way you respond. Shanks has a way with people, a charm that can easily mold them to whatever most helps him—where you’ve always seemed demure and a bit timid with mihawk, easily susceptible to his teasing, you banter easily with shanks. Your quick jokes are accompanied by a hand on his knee or a touch to his arm, never shying away, and though jealousy rears its ugly green head in mihawk’s chest he is just as quick to bend to that scruffy-faced grin and honeyed words. He’s ended up in bed with the man every time they’ve stumbled across each other for the past fifteen years, so it was truly a fool’s errand to think the pattern would end here—even if a third party complicates things.

[carletes]

I don't know if this comment will make any sense lol but I just found out about F1 FanFiction (yes i know I'm late to that) and I found tsor.

Let me tell you the way you wrote Carlos reminded me so so much of Carlos the first of Spain. He was so responsible and so so in love with his wife. Their love story is so precious and I just kept picturing them as Carlos and Lando.

I wasn’t sure if you were talking about Juan Carlos or Carlos I and I’m assuming not Juan Carlos because LMFAO:

“Juan Carlos had several extramarital affairs, which adversely affected his marriage. In 2021, the former police official José Manuel Villarejo testified that Juan Carlos was given hormones to reduce his sex drive, as it was seen as a state problem.” (From wikipedia)

Ok but for the actual guy (THE FKN HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR AT THAT LOL):

“On 10 March 1526, Charles and Isabella met at the Alcázar of Seville. The marriage was originally a political arrangement, but on their first meeting, the couple fell deeply in love: Isabella captivated the Emperor with her beauty and charm. They were married that very same night in a quiet ceremony in the Hall of Ambassadors, just after midnight. Following their wedding, Charles and Isabella spent a long and happy honeymoon at the Alhambra in Granada. …

Despite the Emperor's long absences due to political affairs abroad, the marriage was a happy one, as both partners were always devoted and faithful to each other.[194] The Empress acted as regent of Spain during her husband's absences, and she proved herself to be a good politician and ruler, thoroughly impressing the Emperor with many of her political accomplishments and decisions.

The marriage lasted for 13 years until Isabella's death in 1539. The Empress contracted a fever during the third month of her seventh pregnancy, which resulted in antenatal complications that caused her to miscarry a stillborn son. Her health further deteriorated due to an infection, and she died two weeks later on 1 May 1539, aged 35. Charles was left so grief-stricken by his wife's death that for two months he shut himself up in a monastery, where he prayed and mourned for her in solitude.[195] Charles never recovered from Isabella's death, dressing in black for the rest of his life to show his eternal mourning, and, unlike most kings of the time, he never remarried.”

We’re going to ignore the bits where he fucked around a bunch after being a widower despite professing loyalty LMAO but yes I see the vision!!!!

[kukuandkookie]

wip titles meme

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @crimsonrainseekingflower! 💕💕💕

Thank you for the welcome surprise—another one I finally discovered once I looked at my notifications and stuff! Fortunately this time I’m remembering to make my own post haha. 😆

I hope you don’t mind if I also divide by fandom, and these only vaguely include a couple art wips!:

SVSSS:

Grave Matters

Cinderella III: A Twist in Time AU!?

Just a Dream (is this unfortunately a lame-ass title 😔)

Haunting You

Singles’ Day

TLJ/ZZL/LBH/SXY ADDAMS FAMILY AU??????????

Bingqiu White Snake (animated movie) AU

Waiting for the Tree Branches to Bloom Again

Safe from the Storm

I See in Both Your Eyes (Something Indigo)

AU: The Lion King II??

Family Meal Goes “Wrong”

TLJ’s Lament

LBH²

狗哥狗哥，你真了不得 (Gou-ge, Gou-ge…)

Slavic Vampires…

CNY Dumplings Competition

Enchanted (because we’re doing this now, I guess)

Limb Regeneration What If?? 🤔

Of Costumes and Candies (Something Orange)

Something Old, Something New, and… (Something Blue)

SV OTGW AU

I Ship My Rival x Me AU

I Have to be a Great Villain AU

Happiness Just Out of Reach

Lost and Found

Words to Heart

Breathing Smoke Into the Lungs

HORRIBLE NEW IDEA: Maybe title: Just Enough. Just Enough for Me

Love Letters (that’s all I got so far *insert deepfried emote here*)

Daycare AU???

Hmmm. Prince x Princess AU?

Xi Yang Yang AU

Gongzhu

Followers Milestone Celebration

Teacup scene

I Think My Uncle Ships Us Help

Unattainable

I’d Like to Try Staying Awake (for You)

Breaking the System (aka Fuck the System? Literally or—jk jk lmfao)

Bonuses include the latest chapters for I’d Rather Spend My Whole Life Asleep (With You) and To Tame a Beast, except the former doesn’t have a wip title. The latter does in the sense that the chapter title is Pixiu!

Erha:

Putting the Musing in Amusement Park

This Venerable One Will Not Be Outdone

What You Left Behind/Do You Also Miss Me?

[The] Romance of Wolf/Husky and Haitang

Ghost Bride (Corpse Bride but Chinese?? And Reincarnation)

Reconciliation

Fifteen Growing Up Flirty

Out of the Closet (and Into Your Arms)?

The Prince and the Pauper (but based on The Princess and the Pauper because I’m a criminal who hasn’t read the original 😂)

Wo Jia Dashixiong Naozi You Keng but with an Erha Twist

TW WARNING FOR THIS ONE but Passive suicide ideation fic

IDK WHAT TO WRITE FOR CWN’S BDAY… GOD SOMEONE SEND HELP GFGKDFHGKSDFHG (this one has a more polished but still wip version titled CWN Birthday Fic: Past, Present, or Future, I Want to Celebrate With You 😆)

Jiaoren CWN

Priest CWN & demon MR…hehehe (now a Dianran AU?)

More Than Just Puppy Love

Flower Shop…Redemption…Thingy?

From Wanton Wants to Wonton Wonders

A Taste of What Could Have Been

Screwdriver

First Bow to Heaven and Earth

Hidden Love AU

Mo Ran pulls a Bing-ge

Mind(-Reading) Games

Stone Lion

Swallowed Flowers

Confessions (Role-Swap AU)

TXJ Week (help we’re way past that now 😔): De-Aged Fic

A Tear in My Heart aka Read You Like an Open Book aka To Leave a Piece/Page of Me in the Nooks and Crannies of You?

Shi Mei Jiaoren Fic: [I’m] Afraid to Live Without Breathing

I also have a lot of Erha and SVSSS fic ideas that are unfortunately just blurbs in my ideas document right now and not full-on wips so they don’t have any titles I can share. 😔

Misc:

First Times, Second Chances, and Third Time’s the Charm…s (?) (Link Click)

Missing a You of Another Time (Link Click)

Danmei, xianxia-esque story (Link Click)

Suriel/Sariel

Call of the Wolves (specifically chapter 78)

Chuju the Chou

Papillon and Akuma’s Story

Papillon and Akuma Role Reversal AU Story

Circinus and Pyxis

Smoke & Mirrors

Dimension Hoppers

Take Me Back to Hell (All Saints Street)

I’ll Love You Until All the Stars Fall from the Sky (The Legend of Luo Xiaohei?)

Fengxi like Shade in Firewing (The Legend of Luo Xiaohei)

Mafia AU Xuanli x Laojun (The Legend of Luo Xiaohei)

Continuation of Falling for You (White Cat Legend)

How Could I Ever Ask You to Love Me? (White Cat Legend)

My Shadow It Follows Me

The Us of the Present Could Perhaps Be Just as Tender as the Us of the Past (Scissor Seven)

A Conversation With a Dead Man (MDZS)

Magical Girl AU (MDZS)

Xue Yang’s Regrets (MDZS)

Ao Bing and Nezha in a shoujo high school AU… That’s it. That’s the whole idea (Nezha 2019)

Surprising the Un-Surprise-Able (I Have to be a Great Villain)

Xianxia AU (Kiss the Abyss)

Breathing New Life (Kiss the Abyss)

I Will Chase You to the Ends of Time and Space (Kiss the Abyss)

A Family Outing (Beryl and Sapphire)

Just Some Gay Little Dudes (Beryl and Sapphire)

Steven Universe AU (Beryl and Sapphire)

Something as Sweet as You (I Ship My Adversary x Me)

A Present to be Cherished (I Ship My Adversary x Me)

I Ship My Adversary x Me and 严禁造谣 Crossover? AU Swap?

Additional misc wips I haven’t touched in forever are the latest chapters for The World Doesn’t Deserve You (MDZS) and Frostbite (All Saints Street). 😅

And as a bonus, these aren’t at all “official” yet but the more I read for some manhua the more I’m tempted to write fics for them… For example, a fic for Blemishing the Contaminated or My Lovely Troublemaker season 2 would be so cute, even if I don’t exactly have any clear or obvious ideas for them. 🥺

Phew, wow. I had way more wips than I expected AKFJSKFHSJS. Some are honestly just super half-baked documents tucked away in a folder with only a title and outline, but I hope something here was of interest to you guys. 😆💖

As for tagging…

I also don’t think I’m capable of tagging as many people as I have wips otl. So I hope you guys don’t mind if I tag just a few of you!

@ezrathesplit @levia-kun @yumichanhamano @softdekus @rongzhi @azunshi

(Of course, if you would rather not, feel free not to do this!)

[piduai]

😍 she learned to settle! #truelove

also "not many people with whom she felt so safe" about the guy who gets her involved in all kinds of bullshit when he's not busy choking her. lmfao

ok i'm being facetious. he did push for the implementation of a new job title that would allow her to practice medicine despite being a girl. the narrative makes this guy stumble a couple of times when it's desperate to remind everyone that he's half alpha male on his mother's side, but since this is ultimately a cringe ass fantasy fulfillment romance, he needs to have her best interests at heart if he wants to keep his dreamy guy status. whatever

tbh the story goes through a handful of metamorphoses and by the time the last full volume is out, it's unrecognizable. it starts off as court drama slash light mystery, maomao is a rare female sherlock holmes stuck in a fictionalized chinese emperor's harem as a servant girl. lovely premise. usually long-winded stories tend to get better as they go with the best arc being around the middle or the third quarter. this one, though, has had its prime within the first quarter, and becomes increasingly mid after that. because it betrays that premise that made it nice actually.

second quarter is maomao being stuck with the purple guy as he courts her. the narrative completely abandons the lovely rear palace, the mystery solving and the complicated family dynamics of different whomsties in lieu of that guy desperately trying to make her his concubine, while she's none the wiser and does pretty much nothing on her own. boring! a very prolonged and embarrassing flop era.

third quarter gets a bit better, the guy is put on a high shelf and maomao starts her medical training. no sherlocking but she's dissecting bodies, which is nice. nothing much happens, she's just chill for a while as she passes time pursuing a new interest. it was a nice segment actually.

then fourth quarter she sets on a voyage for reasons unknown, because surely this diversion will be of no importance later. i think. i can't say i liked the western capital arc 2: 2 western 2 capital. rather than maomao it was more about chue. i liked chue. i think i'd grow much more fond of her if she ever made it into the anime but tbh i don't really see it happening, it's one 12 episodes cour per one volume, and since this industry simply does not make titles that aren't one or two cour at most, i don't really think volume 12 will ever see the light of day. adventure, sure. they had locust plagues and then new family drama nobody gives a fuck about because it's not interesting. eh, whatever.

to be honest i'm not particularly invested. if the anime is a solid 8.5 in my book, the light novels are maybe a 5.5. passing, but not good, hardly decent. if they were good, i'd be either invested or feel attachment, but it's neither. i love maomao, she's a wonderful character, thoroughly unique, very charming, but the romance aspect severely weighs her down and makes the story worse than it could have been. in all honesty i didn't want to watch the anime initially because the guy on the poster gave me the impression that it will turn out to be exactly what i'm talking about, but then i read the synopsis and it said that he's a eunuch. i was like ok cool maybe they'll just be besties or something. i mean, he IS her watson. but you know... it could use some work.

would i call this series overall GOOD? nuanced question. the anime is good, everything else isn't. would i recommend it to someone in good faith? the anime yes, the light novels definitely not. do i LIKE this series, everything considered? not really. i like maomao. i like lakan and fengxian. i like a handful of other characters. i don't really care about the story overall, i found its execution boring, and i don't care how it develops further because it's predictable and not exciting.

i think the fault with it is that, conceptually, it's a shoujo at heart, despite the manga being published in a seinen magazine, and it has the shoujo vibe and fanbase, neither of which are to my taste. it's not a bad series though.

all in all i think i will read the rest of the volumes as they come out, given that i don't forget that they exist. but i don't really care about this story overall. this is what happens when something is character driven with a loose plot, in the end it's not very strong. i don't think that the hole gk left in my heart could ever be filled by anything else. i don't think i will ever earnestly love again.

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

[rotworld]

i’ve always loved your worldbuilding (everything weyer and luxuria related is my favorite atm) so i was wondering what inspires you or helps you create such rich worlds? what does ur process of worldbuilding even look like if that’s not being too nosy lol. just love your writing a lot so sometimes i’ll even go back for the lore.

thank you so much!! \(;A;)/ like most things for me, it seems to be a very messy, disorganized process lol sometimes i plan a lot, sometimes i don’t plan at all, and sometimes i do a bit of both. the luxuria series involved both so that’ll be the main example. nerd rambling below.

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single-use settings like the majority of my october prompts or other one shot stuff is done impulsively. i figure out my starting concept and then wing it from there. there are some that get more planning than others if i want to do something complicated (decadence had a more complex core story, even if all of that didn’t actually make it into the piece) but even then, there’s a lot of stuff that gets added because i think it would make good scene dressing as i’m writing lol.

on the other hand, there are times when i plan a lot, even without having a clear story in mind. periodically i get the urge to make a new setting and characters to go in it, usually just for fun/personal use, although i have developed some of these into things that i share. sometimes it’s related to stuff i’ve been reading or watching, even if only tangentially (i’ve been getting into wh40k and that made me want to do a far-future sci fi setting with an emphasis on the human aspect of big political decisions, although it ended up very different in tone and overall direction) and sometimes it’s just a vague concept that i want to explore more (i wanted to write about robots one time, so i made a setting about humans and androids). my inspiration is whatever i’m into lately, so i make these, set them aside, and then pick them up again when the mood strikes me. the setting from eternal night is something i started working on for myself back in 2019 with a big soulsborne influence, but it came to mind for that prompt so i revisited it.

weyer academy was something i developed a while ago. it actually predates the character luxuria and originally, it was the primary focus of the story i wanted to tell there. i liked the idea of blending unhealthy academic culture with the concept of a magic school, so the school itself, the basic concepts of a lot of professors and a few students were already established. when i started writing third time’s a charm and realized i wanted to use these characters more than once, i thought it could be a good time to finally use that setting, so i started thinking of ways to tie them together. 

outside of that, the rest of the world developed spontaneously. the infernal plane versus the temporal plane, the different ways humans handle magic, specific types of demons, all of this stuff was done on the fly when i wrote third time’s a charm. i would think “it’d be cool if they had this” lol and i would add a line or scene, and that gave me some fun stuff to think about and expand on later. now some of those things are much more developed than when i first mentioned them. by this point, things have coalesced enough that there’s less spontaneity, although it looks like i didn’t start keeping track of things on a worldbuilding document until a little after finishing zivian’s piece lmfao

i’ll briefly talk about what my worldbuilding documents actually have on them but like i said, it’s a bit of a mess lol the first thing i write down is the core story or idea. for luxuria triplicate, this is “the deal,” the fact that the reader made a contract with a powerful demon and that they have one year before payment is owed. after that, i start listing important parts of the setting and expand on them. some of these are kind of general, like just talking about the relationship between demons and humans or some basic stuff i want to remember about different types of demons. other things are very specific, like how specific types of magic work, or what kinds of final exams weyer has. i don’t figure out absolutely every detail, so anything i write down, i’m assuming i’ll need it later, although some of the more detailed stuff will probably not make it in beyond implication lol i just need to know for my own reference in steering the story. 

while it’s not strictly a part of the worldbuilding, something i also add to these documents, especially when i have a lot of characters to manage, is listing all of the important ones and what’s driving them or what they want. this is where most of the plot comes from in my writing, so it’s just as important to keep track of as everything else. 

[hangozoe]

Second session of In Stars and Time

Okay, time to fight the King. Part 2

I'm missing The Secret Ingredient to make the bomb and I'm assuming we need to actually do that.

The battle theme is such a bop.

I wonder if the King will notice me zoning out lmfao

I kinda hope the narrator tells me when to use the shield

The King's battle theme is also a bop

Oh, I knew I couldn't zone out for battle stuff, but I'm glad they added it here

NO WAIT I DIDN'T USE THE SHIELD YET-- DAMMIT!

Okay take 3

I bet we can't land a final blow without the bomb

NO I DIDN'T HAVE THE SHIELD UP IN TIME

Okay, so don't use the shield unless I HAVE to.

Dammit, I just died from not being strong enough

Why am I Siffrin in these loops...

I can't NOT pick malanga fritters.

Why do I remember it with spicy peppers...?

BOMB TIME

I BEAT THE KING

Woah, the castle is so much brighter.

Lmfao the Change God being a lazy deity being common knowledge is hilarious

Okay, the Head Housemaiden using the phrase "stinking cute" feels unexpected lmao

Boy I sure hope I confide in someone about the trauma of being in a time loop!

BONNIE KING OF RUINING MOMENTS

Isabeau is a disaster

I'M. UM. OH NO.

SHE SAID THE T WORD

That was the most obvious way of trying to let me get my guard down and I still did it :c

My time loop is broken?!

I HAVE SO MANY POSSIBILITIES TO TELL LOOP

None of them are true probably.

MY PARENTS?!

AM I FROM THE COUNTRY THAT GOT MEMORY-WIPED

I JUST GAVE THE FLOWER TO THE KING

THIS WAS WORTH IT!!!!!!!

Isa got cucked again :(

We smell like burnt sugar, like the Sadness that we defeat for Star Crests that get rid of the frozen tears 🤔

The Head Housemaiden said the EXACT same thing...

Oh no. The Fishing One is catching on to me...

Oh. The ecosystem is dying slowly.

THE BATTLE MUSIC IS PLAYING WHEN I ASKED MIRABELLE ABOUT HER ISSUE

My leading theory is just that the loop has to do with your bonds with your party members. And that's It.

MIRABELLE BEING CIS REALLY IS MINORITY REPRESENTATiON

IT'S NOT JUST A JOKE

A WORLD WHERE TRANSGENDER PEOPLE ARE THE NORM AND BEING CIS ISN'T

We're anti-sex. Hell yeah

I like that being LGBTQ is baked into lore. Like, it's not incidentally part of the fantasy world. It's the lore. In a world of time loops (things not changing) vs a god of change, being transgender is a natural consequence. It makes perfect sense here.

I like that everyone picked up on that I don't like being touched. I wish that was real

I got it. I keep being time looped because I didn't max my relationship with all of my party members and the player of this RPG is a completionist.

Okay, first time I'm crying, and it's because of the Bonnie and Siffrin event

SIFFRIN IS LITERALLY ME

"That's life-ending, even. Asking for someone's touch." OKAY WOW LITERALLY ME

Caved in and quickly found a guide to find the craftonomy book because I forgot what floor it was on

Also looked up Bonnie's 3rd favourite food because I was too busy eating my favourite snack for like the 5th time

MIRABELLE IF YOU REFERENCE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL I S2G--

WAIT THE FACT WE FORGOT COLOUR IS WORLD-RELEVANT???

Odile is catching on to how we know too much.........

Do we have to kill her now

ABORT TIMELINE

Theory: Loop and the other Stars are fighting a war on the astral plane we can't even comprehend. They're interfering with us mortals

Third time's the charm

I can't picture how Odile is going to cuck Isabeau but we'll see

GOD DAMMIT

Head Housemaiden is immune to changes in time loops and is eternal, Siffrin changes each time loop, and the King stops time. Hmmmmmm....

Loop 45 is the charm baby

I didn't get a chance to give her a flower :(

I realized this earlier but the books with titles that are hard to read likely have to do with the memory hole'd country

Time to hang out with Odile

TELLING A PUN WAS THE CORRECT ANSWER?!

I HATE THIS GAME

I love kids

ISABEAU IS GOING TO BE SO JEALOUS

Wait. What

What--

Oh my god

This is a good allegory for 2nd gen immigrants

OH. WE WORSHIP THE STARS. DUH. THEY'RE HERE BECAUSE THEIR WORSHIPPERS GOT REMOVED FROM TIME.

I still miss my cheeky grin

I like how there's altered dialogue for EVERYTHING. And altered cutscene art.

"Is it fun to go back here? To keep torturing yourself?" WOW OKAY GAME. THANKS FOR CALLING ME OUT.

I'm glad the game accounts for me helping everyone before asking Isabeau for his help.

Four-pointed leaf... I wonder if that's a star.

I wonder why Isabeau has to be last.

Oh hey. Stargazing! We have to save the star lore for last.

Oh, Isabeau is down BAD for us.

Cute dinner scene pt. 2

Okay, I'm gonna have to do some extra loops before I commit to this. So not saving this

[bramblewatchescharmed]

s1e8 "Bug a Boo"

Thoughts after watching Charmed (2018) s1e8 "Bug a Boo":

For a show whose marketing was very pointed about Mel being a lesbian, it is, uh . . . Not a Good Look when it kills off a white gay man in an interracial relationship as the Victim of the Week.

It's also not a good look that all the cicada demons in this episode are played by Asian actors. Yes, there's a point to be made given the demons are running a dating app and one of them makes the comment on his date with Macy about Asian guys being statistically underrepresented and less likely to be chosen, but uh... that seems undercut with the reveal that he's, y'know, an insect demon.

Gods, the CGI for these bug demons makes them look absolutely disgusting and I am not here for it. Yeah the original had some questionable choices for demons and dodgy CGI, but Masselin was absolutely terrifying. Here, I'm just majorly grossed out.

Yeah, Parker and Maggie have been dating for five minutes so why is she talking about spending the summer with him?

Also, again, they've been dating for five minutes and he asks her for a plasma donation? (I know it's because she saw him shooting up and went with his cover story that it's a rare autoimmune disorder, which . . . I mean, yeah, you could say that, but ???).

Jada and Macy are the only likeable characters in this whole show, tbh. Jada's cool as fuck with her witchlighter powers.

Though it's kind of hard to take Jada seriously when she goes so very hard on the Mysterious Witchy Goth thing.

The Sarcana coven all in black, the Elder witches all in white . . . yeah, I'm saying it now: they're both very different types of cults, and Mel is a dumbass and manages to completely misunderstand both of them.

LMFAO at Mel walking into the Sarcana's lair and immediately being whacked upside the head with a wooden plank bc she walked in like a total noob. (She really is a dumbass, holy cow.)

I sorted at Galvin being hit by a car out of literally nowhere and that's how the episode ends.

Oh, for a rewrite of this whole season where the Veras have to figure shit out on their own and didn't go running to Harry and the Elders for every fucking little thing.

Though gods, as someone who is very gladly single, this episode makes me never want to use dating apps ever.

There is also way too much going on in this whole season thus far. I mean, you've got Mel still trying to figure out her mom's murder, the Elders vs the Sarcana, Fiona (Charity's sister), Maggie doing... whatever with her college campus and sorority, and Macy's subplots with Galvin and the university's genetics lab.

Actually, wait, I thought Macy worked for Hilltowne University as part of its genetics research lab? So why and how would a third-party company (Morningstar Biotech) move in and completely take over the lab? I don't remember if this was ever explained or not. (Yeah, the Vera-Vaughns vanquished the previous head of the lab/department, but still.)

"We all know you and Charity used to date," Mel tells Harry, except uh . . . outside of this episode it was never obvious that they used to be a couple, and the one time Harry/Charity do have a moment, it's when they're alone and the Vera-Vaughns are nowhere to be found. So how the hell does Mel know that Charity and Harry used to bang?

It's also never really made clear in this universe why witch/Whitelighter relationships are forbidden, but damn at Jada saying the Elders called her an abomination simply for being born.

Again, the Elders in this show are even worse than the Elder Whitelighters in the OG, and that is saying something, considering these Elders are all cis women / female witches.

I snickered at Hunter calling his and Parker's demonic dad "a three-thousand year old douche". This whole demon family is.... oooh boy, but at least Hunter sticks up for his younger brother.

"I'm still getting over my ex," Mel says while infiltrating the dating-app building on campus. Uh-huh, I'd have a better time believing that if she didn't literally only grieve for Niko for, like, five minutes.

[zushikun]

evangelion 2.0 woohoo

- is this asuka oooo

- she sounds different

- kaji speaking english…

- asuka singing lmfaooo i love that

- why is she in a provisional suit tho

- wait who the fuck is that.

- back to the graveyard scene

- is THIS asuka

- i’m getting jebaited

- misato’s poor car omfg… it’s going through hell

- poor shinji getting attacked at the get-go… some things don’t change (?)

- the lorry is driving in the middle of 2 lanes.

- misato is so funny lol

- why are the boxes stacked around shinji like that,,, he’s gonna die from getting crushed

- awww they go to school together <3

- absolute chaos lmfao what is this excursion 😭😭😭

- why is pen pen there too FK

- oh artificial meat damn…

- lmfao asuka is so real picking a fight with pen pen

- shinji is a sweetheart sia with the miso soup…

- woah the emergency course thing is super cool

- shinji is hella determined

- their pain tolerance must be off the charts bc i’d be crying and tearing tf up

- “DADDY’S BOY!!!” lol

- oh yes the teamwork is slaying

- the red sea ~~~

- yay first name basis! and interesting change in the bed sharing scene

- shinji’s awareness of the want to be praised wow… applause

- asuka finally making friends

- shinji’s homemade lunches. damn sweet srs

- misato getting disturbed by kaji…

- OH THEY FELL OUT WTF

- what’s up with this formal dinner setting with gendoh and rei

- misato spinning on the chair is so me

- new girl is american?

- kaji why did you do that 😭😭😭

- is kaji gonna die in this universe too. i’ll be heartbroken tbh (as a friend said “you’ve fallen for his womanly charms”)

- aw rei is speaking so much more :’)

- asuka cooking??? damn

- i hope asuka doesn’t ruin the dinner 🙏🙏🙏

- misato mid bath jfc sis can’t catch a break

- was suzuhara still selected or this new gal… doesn’t seem like it’s him tho

- gendoh calls seele from a green room??? he’s a live streamer damn

- asuka and rei’s elevator convo took a good turn

- i relate to asuka getting frustrated with everyone saying “i don’t know” LOL 😭

- misato and kaji’s drinking session LOL

- misato thinking of the kiddos

- asuka taking one for the team ✊ respect

- YAY to suzuhara’s sister getting discharged ❤️❤️❤️

- ritsuko with that drip

- hope the test goes well…

- OBVIOUSLY THE TEST DIDNT GO WELL WHAT THE FUCK

- i still love shinji’s breakdown and threat to destroy HQ

- omg misato and shinji’s convo before he leaves :( ouch much

- the dummy pilot is terrifying

- FUCK OFF PLS

- ASUKA PLS SURVIVE

- poor shinji :(

- omg i bet it’s the new girl piloting unit 02

- noooo don’t send 00 out it’s not in functioning state

- who even is this girl fml

- of course unit 01 rejects the dummy system… forgot about that tbh

- WHAT BEAST MODE??? why are there cheat codes bro

- sigh now 02 is all beaten up.

- rei PLEASE :((

- how is 00 still standing lol

- i vibe with specs gal just doing this for fun

- DID REI GET EATEN WTF IS GOING ON

- “yui, why are you rejecting me” i wonder why

- no offence but does gendoh have the right to question shinji’s offer to pilot 01. he was alr struggling to activate it fuckinf idiot

- AND SHINJI boomeranging again. a classic

- gendoh half covered in blood lol

- GIRL THIS TIMING SUCKS WHY DID IT LOSE POWER SO QUICKLY

- “give ayanami back” i sure hope it does :(

- damn berserk mode was triggered by shinji alone…

- also the way everyone is just standing around on the ground lol

- HE DID IT :’)

- is gendoh ok lmfao why is he so roughed up

- NOT THE THIRD IMPACT LOL

- maybe shinji saving rei wasn’t the most awesome sauce idea but yay to both surviving

- ok but where is kaworu

- oh nvm the twink has descended with probably the least threatening threat ever

- very cute preview. excited for the next movie