#thinking how even in an injury that affects more women the

[partybarty]

Thinking about how so much of medicine and sports is based on the male body.

[ilylovelyz]

⍣ ೋ Rom-Com Gone Wrong

˚ · . bakugou katsuki x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ takes place during their third year, mentions of injuries and blood, forced intake of aphrodisiac, unestablished relationship, mutual pining, love confession, both characters are 18, protected sex, implied unprotected sex, virgnity loss, misunderstandings, a bit angsty, bakugou is lowky ooc and gentle, this is really long

following a rough battle with a rather inconvenient villian and his quirk, y/n finds herself induced with aphrodisiac against her will. she wins the encounter, only to be told if she doesn't relieve her sexual desires within 24 hours with another individual she will die.

"i'll be the one to do it," mineta says, trying to sound nonchalant about the situation, flipping his non-existent hair off to the side if his shoulder. the girls, in unison, disagree verbally, knowing of his creepy tendencies.

"can't she just do it with a girl?" tsuyuri thinks aloud, attempting to find an easy way for you to feel more comfortable with the situation. "if that's the case, then i'll do it!" ashido declares, raising her hand in the air.

this has been the subject of conversation for the past hour or so. yes, your classmates and even teachers are conversing on what to do about your current state, on who will be the one to sleep with you. it's almost heartwarming, to know that your classmates care so much about you that they'd be willing to sleep with you if it means you'll live.

which is exactly what it means. exactly nine hours ago, you had a confrontation with a well-wanted villian. you knew of the risks, you knew of his horrendous and taboo quirk. you knew that he used his quirk to take advantage of women who were defenseless and practically leaving them for dead within 24 hours of interaction.

quirks like these were rare, none of your classmates nor teachers had any experience with this type of thing. originally, the teachers were going to discuss of this situation privately, but after almost three hours had gone by with no real possible solutions, they had decided to involve your dearest classmates to come up with something, anything to help save your life.

"no, according to the villian and the tiny information we were able to get out of him, it has to be done with a male." midnight had said, rubbing at her temple to ease her stress. your female classmates groaned with frustration, side-eyeing mineta with disgust.

"t-then i'll do it!" a new contender had volunteered. "y-you? y/n needs a real man, denki—," jirou had said, trying to play of her nervousness with a chuckle. "i agree." momo said sternly.

"no offense but.. how about the boys leave this discussion to the boys." she added on, having distrust in the intentions of her male classmates. "i know you boys just want to do what you can to help her, but we also have to think about how this will affect her mentally."

the topic carried on with the girls, occasionally one of the boys attempted to give a idea, but were almost immediately shot down due to it's risk.

admist to all the tension and debate, there was one who was uncharacteristically quiet. bakugou katsuki.

all of the boys were huddled into a circle, behind the girls, listening into their plan. however, it was bakugou who stuck out like a sore thumb. he kept his hands in his pockets, a rather stoic expression written onto his face as he stared up to the ceiling.

"i'll do it! you guys just gotta trust me!" mineta yelled once more, his body jolting with fear when he was met with clear resistance from the girls.

everyone was too wrapped up in figuring out a game-plan to even notice that bakugou had taken his leave, muttering a scoff at his classmates's immaturity and perversion.

he made his way to the dorms, his hand rubbing at the tense skin of his nape. bakugou stopped in his tracks, seemingly he wasn't the only one who had the same idea. his hands returned to their place in his pockets, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of his classmate, todoroki shouto, standing a few feet away from your dorm room.

"what are you doing here?" bakugou asked, resting his body weight on his right leg. todoroki looked back at bakugou calmly, observing the blonde's stiff movements. "i want to help y/n-san." todoroki stated, glancing back at the door of your room.

bakugou scoffed at his answer, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "yeah right—you?" he hissed, coming up to todoroki and shoving him away from your door. "don't make me laugh. i'll be the one to do it."

todoroki stayed in place for a moment, blinking at bakugou's aggression and determination. he glanced once more at your door, and then back to bakugou before sighing with defeat and turning around to head god knows where.

bakugou scoffed once more, not taking his eyes off todoroki until he was well out of his sight. bakugou turned around, his red eyes staring intently at your door. he chewed on the walls of his mouth, wondering how to go about the situation.

as brash as he may be—he's not an idiot. he knows that if you don't end up getting any help within a few mere hours, you'll die. and thats not what he wants. to stand and watch while his dumb classmates argue over who will be the one to have the honor of having sex with you is something he won't abide with.

ೄྀ࿐

a soft moan escaped your lips at the feel of your fingers caressing against your sensitive folds. a drop of sweat ran down your flushed face, running down to your collarbone and dampening the sheer tank you were wearing.

there was a knot in your abdomen, a very tight knot, that has been yet to be undone. normally, when you had this kind of urge, you'd be able to satisfy it yourself. but it's been nearly eight hours since you'be been drugged, and the effects only get more and more intense with every passing minute.

you're tired. your body is coated in a thick layer of sweat, the room smells grossly of your own scent, and it's been eight hours—yet no release. tears sting at your waterline, your hand coming up to cover your pathetic whines and cries as your fingers scissor their way into your cunt, trying to find relief to your frustration.

you gasp with pleasure when your finger nails press ever so slightly against that one spot, hazy eyes going wide when you finally find it. your back arches off the bed, toes curling when you can barely press your fingerpads against that sweet spot, but nonetheless it's something.

your body jolts when you hear a light knock at your door, hands flying to grab onto your blanket to hide your half-naked body. you sat frozen on your bed, eyes watching the door.

a couple of moments later, once again the visitor knocked, snapping you out of your haze. you rushed to find any pajamas or clothes to wear, eventually settling on a pair of grey pajama shorts. the visitor knocks again once more, earning a groan from you. "g-give me a second!" you hiss loudly, dusting off your body and finally walking up to your door.

with a deep inhale, you open up your door a few inches, hiding your sweat-ridden body behind the large frame and peeking out your head to see the visitor.

your heart drops into your stomach at the sight of the familar blonde, his red eyes lidded low at you. "b-bakugou?" you stutter out, your cheeks blushing intensely when you feel your core throb at just the sight of him. "what... are you doing here?" you say, swallowing down the fat lump in your throat.

bakugou stares at you, his facial expressions uncharacteristically calm and unreadable. "..isn't it obvious?" he says nonchalantly, taking a step towards the door. his low tone heats up your body, making you impossibly warmer with embarrassment to top it off with your seemingly insatiable desire.

still, you don't move from the door, and if anything, push it forward so only a few centimeters remain between the frame and the door itself. your forehead rests against the wood, contemplating your options.

bakugou katsuki has come to your door to do the obvious with you. for many others, this would be a dream come true—and it almost is, for you, almost. tears cloud your vision once more at the thoughts that run throughout your head, he's only here because you'll die.

"let me in y/n,—", "no, i don't want you here." you interrupt, still hiding behind the door. bakugou's eyes widen slightly at your refrusal, not expecting you to shut him down given the situation.

to you, it's almost insulting—bakugou katsuki is here to have sex with you, to save you. your crush of many years, is here to have sex with you, but only because he feels the need to save you, not because he wants to.

bakugou sighs silently, he knows its a sensitive matter, that you're practically forced to have sex with someome that you possibly don't like just to live. his fists tighten up into a ball, his eyebrows furrowing at your stubbornness. but he won't have you die, he won't knowing he could help you.

"y/n. open the door or i'm going to break it down myself." he says sternly, his voice raising slightly. it sends shivers down your spine, but still you hold your ground. alas, you find it within yourself to close the door, only for it to be held open by bakugou who most definitely overpowers you when it comes to strength. with a grunt, your already weak arms give in, quickly dropping back to the floor as the door slams against the wall now that bakugou has won the short game of tug-o-war.

bakugou makes his way into your room, not even caring to check if the door handle has made a new hole in the wall. his mouth opens, ready to say something, only to purse into a straight line when he sees the tears flowing down your cheeks.

"i don't want you here." you mumble out, attempting to hide your tears by wiping them away as quick as they came.

with a grunt, bakugou is pulling you up to your feet, his hands gripping onto your shoulders while his lips smash against yours. the kiss is rough, almost uncomfortably stiff. and yet, you almost let out a moan of satisfaction just by him giving the worst kiss ever. he pulls away a moment later, his hands keeping you in place.

not like you'd be able to walk away even if you wanted, your gaze was fixated on his soft features, eyeing those lips of his. this time, it's bakugou whose walking away—and it's you who is running after him.

with haste, you push yourself forward to the blonde, your hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling him back to you. bakugou breathes out a grunt when your lips collide with his once more, desperate and clumsy, more teeth than tongue. you can't help but grab into bakugou's broad shoulders before finding better purchase by wrapping them around his neck, feet on all toes in order to reach his lips.

bakugou pulls away from you, quickly shutting the door and locking it. though, he barely has time to do the second, as soon as the door is closed, you're pushing him against it and shoving your body against his, encapturing his lips with yours once again. he swallows your desperate whines, his tongue fighting for dominance against yours. it's messy, it's not at all in sync—but just that alone has your body heating up than what you thought was possible.

and bakugou can feel it. his hands find purchase on the small of your waist—your skin is hot to the touch, almost fever hot. he raises an eyebrow when the feel of his skin on yours alone has you letting out a soft moan, much to your embarrassment. experimentally, bakugou's hands travel down to the curve of your ass, squeezing the plump flesh lightly, earning a gasp from your lips.

seeing this, bakugou pulls away from you, a fat string of saliva connecting the two of you. his red eyes watch you tortuously, watching the way your delicate features contort with pleasure as his hands explore your ass, his squeezes getting more and more rough as your body reacts. his finger glides up to the hems of your shorts, playing with the drawstrings and eventually pulling on one to untie the knot, allowing your flimsy excuse of so-called shorts to drop and lay around your feet.

your cheeks burn at the way he stares closely at your half-naked body, eyes darting down to the ground when you realize that you didn't even put on any underwear. to you, bakugou is eyeing your body, looking for any imperfections and unsatisfying marks.

but to bakugou, he has to hold back a groan by biting on his lower lip at the sight of your bare cunt. his hands tighten it's grip on your hips, attempting to keep his composure. bakugou finally pushes himself off the door, leading you quickly by the small of your waist to your bed.

with a gentle shove, you're laying down onto your back, your legs dangling off the edge of the mattress. your eyes widen when bakugou's hands grab the hems of his shirt, pulling it up to his head and discarding of his shirt, revealing his rather toned abs and few scars he's gained in the various fights he's gotten into as a hero.

your mouth is agape in awe, practically drooling at the sight of his fit muscles and small waist. without another word, your hand subconsciously reaches for him, generously touching the muscles of his abdomen. for the first time of the night, bakugou finally shows some emotion, smirking widely at your infatuation with his abs.

"i know i got some great abs, huh?" he grins, his hand coming up to rest on the flesh of your thigh. his grin flattens to an slightly agape 'O' when your hand travels down lower to his lower pelvis, your nails caressing the skin, sending shivers down his spine. dangerously, it continues, your fingers meddling with the edge of his baggy pants, circling the metal button.

before you could do anything else, bakugou is grabbing your hand away, and much to your surprise, settles himself inbetween your bare legs, eyeing your exposed cunt. naturally, you rush to close your legs, but are stopped by his hands that rest on both of your inner thighs.

"don't try to hide yourself from me." he growls lowly, his cock growing hard in his pants at the fuller sight of your glistening cunt. a yelp leaves your throat when you are pulled closer to the edge of your bed, cunt mere centimeters from bakugou's face. your eyes close shut, palm hiding your face in embarrassment.

"open your damn eyes, you're gonna watch as i eat this pretty pussy." he hisses out before blowing lightly onto your folds, enjoying the way your thighs shiver. with a lick of his lips, bakugou dives into your cunt, his tongue dragging across your folds and into your core. you let out a rather loud moan at the feel of his tongue exploring your cunt, your hands diving down to entangle themselves in his short blonde locks.

as told, you watch bakugou devour your poor pussy through tears, moaning into your palm to not let anyone hear the way you're getting eaten out by one of your classmates. your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel bakugou enter his index finger into your tight walls, massaging your gummy walls without mercy.

"bakugou.." you mewl out, back arching off the bed when you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel. the fingers tied in his hair pull tightly on his roots, earning a hum of satisfaction leave his lips, vibrating against your clit so deliciously it has you sobbing out his name within seconds and squirming within his tight hold as you cum. tears run down your cheeks as your body convulses with pleasure, eyebrows furrowed intensely as your first orgasm of the night washes over you.

a minute later, you finally come down to earth, chest heaving heavily as your eyes focus down to bakugou who licks up the remains of your delicious juices. it's so over stimulating, but it feels so good, the way his tongue laps up your cum as if he was a starved man.

for a second, you close your eyes, basking in the sweet after-glow of your orgasm before a familar vibrating sound snaps you out of your bliss. bakugou holds up the pink bullet-vibrator within his hand, cocking his head to the right. "this yours?" he asks teasingly, a sly grin painted into his face.

before you could respond, bakugou is pressing the bullet against your clit, sending waves of overstimulated pleasure up your spine. you wiggle and shift on your bed, attempting to get away from it, from him, but in the heat of the moment you seem to have forgotten of bakugou's trained strength. he pins your hips onto the bed with ease with one hand, and holds the bullet to your clit with the other.

he evilly chuckles into your cunt, his tongue gliding into your tight hole. your cries and pleas are melodies to his ears, and he only stops when your thighs are shaking for a second time around his head and your pussy walls are tightening up around his tongue. he hungrily laps up your fluids once more, the tip of his nose brushing up against your clit as he discards of the vibrator in order to grab onto the back of your thighs and practically smothers himself into your pussy.

finally, once he's deemed you cleaned up and not an ounce of your cum wasted, he pulls away from your drenched pussy. his chin glistens with your juices, his tongue lapping up any remains on his lips. his ruby red eyes watch as your chest heaves up and down, his hand grabbing your wrist that was covering your flushed face and discarding it to the side.

he passionately kisses you, not like the kisses you two shared earlier. rather, your inhaling his heavy breaths as his hips roll subconsciously into yours, his hard-on poking against your inner thigh. "bakugou.." you exhaled against his lips, your hand sliding inbetween your close bodies to palm his confined cock.

bakugou lets out a almost pained groan, his eyebrows furrowing at the feel of your hand brushing against his cock's tip. "fuck.." he groans, his head dipping down to your chest when your hand slides below his trousers and over his confined boner. "wanna help you too bakugou," you mumble shyly, batting those pretty eyelashes at him.

the tempered blonde seems to have been frozen in place at your unexpected boldness, his cock growing impossibly harder at your words. he curses under his breath when your hand glides in between the gap of his boxers, your fingers coming into contact with the skin of his cock.

you're so unexpected. it's all bakugou can ever think of. unlike all the others, you've surprised him the most. you've surprised him with your wits—instead of strength and speed. no matter how mean or offensive he's been to you, you've been nothing but a saint—going so far to even nurse him back to health after a particularly aggressive battle with a villian.

thats why he had to be the one to help you. after all you've done for him, he had to return the favor in the one time he could save your life, even if it meant having sex would save you. he wasn't about to let those ungrateful, clueless extras do it with you either when they didn't deserve the opportunity to have you so vulnerable for them.

and having sex with you doesn't seem too bad, not in the slightest. especially not when your hand is pumping his cock so deliciously. bakugou's lips apart slightly, a sharp gasp escaping when your palm tightens around his sensitive cock.

you jolt when bakugou's own hand wraps around your wrist firmly, practically slapping it away from his cock. you look up at him with filmy eyes, looking for an explanation within his own. "gotta focus on you," he mumbles under his breath, his hands coming down to your hips and dragging you down to him.

bakugou finally begins to undo his belt, the metal buckle causing your ears to tingle. he pushes down his pants to his lower thighs, for a second he glances up at you, to which you can see a small glimpse of the red tint that covers the apples of his cheeks and the way he stares intently at your features, most likely waiting to see your reaction.

he slides his dark red boxers down to the middle of his thighs, just enough to free his cock of his uncomfortable confines. and, just wow, maybe it's because you're quite literally drugged with a sex drug, or maybe he's just that perfect—but just the sight of his cock has your pathetic pussy walls clenching and throbbing around nothing.

your mouth salivates at the mere thought of his cock, and just now seeing it—god you just want him to fuck you already. without a thought, your hand reaches once more for him, only for bakugou to pin your wrist down to the side of your body, his own climbing on top of the bed. your legs come to rest on each sides of his hips, his thighs underneath yours while he sits on his knees.

it seems you're not the only one so horny, afterall, as bakugou wrapped his hand around cock, his hips inching closer to yours, his body jolted, eyes widening. his sudden movement has your heart dropping in your stomach, a cold sweat breaking out on your body. "w-what? what is it?" you stutter out, your hand crossing defensively over your clothed chest.

bakugou's cheeks seem to bloom more a shade of red as he leans back, searching for something in his pocket. "hah.. i almost forgot the condom.." he says, taking out the unmistaken small square packet out of his pocket.

you chuckle lightly at the mistake, feeling embarrassment for yourself as well. to think that you two were so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that you almost forgot the condom gives such a strange feeling in your stomach.

finally, bakugou puts the condom on, a bit shaky with embarrassment as he slides it on. all prepared, he looks up at you—possibly the calmest you've ever seen him, but there's a hint of seriousness and maybe even care with the way his eyebrows are furrowed lightly or how his eyes never leave your face.

"ready?" he asks cautiously, his hand gripped onto the underside of your thigh with the other resting on the side of your lower stomach. with your nod of approval, bakugou meets his thighs to your ass, his cock tip pressing lightly against your virgin hole.

before bakugou could go any further, your soft sobs stop him. his head immediately snaps up to yours, his eyes wide with shock. your eyes are once again wet with tears, eyebrows arched and lips frowning.

"i know this is not very convenient, y/n, but if we don't do this, you'll die-", he tries to say before he's interrupted by your sobs and hiccups. through fat tears and incoherent sentences, you finally manage to say something clear.

"it's not that." you practically hiss, surprising the blonde. "..then what is it?" he urges, a confused expression forming on his face. with a loud sigh, you groan loudly with anger and sadness, practically throwing your hands to your face as you try to wipe away your never-ending tears.

"i d-didn't want it to be like t-this!" you sob loudly, your shoulders jumping with every hiccup. before bakugou could press any further, the years of untold suffering and thoughts just came rushing to you, spilling out of your mouth like vomit. "i-i didn't w-want it to be l-like this! to happen like this!"

"oh my g-god! bakugou i've been in love with you since i've m-met you—and it–it hurts—for it to happen this way—you're only doing this just b-because you f-feel obligated to do i-it—not because you l-love me—" you mumble out, hands covering your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction.

"for it to ha-happen this way—it's like a whole prank..! like a fucking—slap in the face!" you say, practically yelling the last part as your hands fly down to the bed with frustration, finally meeting bakugou's gaze. your sobs quiet down, stomach churning at the realization of the word vomit you just had.

you thought he would be weirded out, maybe even make fun of you for it. but instead, bakugou is now looking at you with an unfamiliar gaze, full of something that seems to just be more than politeness and friendly care. sure, he's not smiling, but the way his red eyes are half-lidded, pupils dilated so big they might as well just be black, his eyebrows no longer furrowed but instead arched upwards with what seems to be surprise.

before you could say anything else, waves of sharp pain are shot up your spine as bakugou unexpectedly pushes in the tip of his cock, his arms now finding purchase by wrapping around your waist, lowering himself closer to you.

his lips press yours, slow and steady as he inches his fat cock into you. he pulls away from your lips with a grunt, his eyebrows arched downwards as he tries to set aside the way your cunt feels so heavenly wrapped around the end of his cock.

"i'm sorry for how i've been treating you." he says lowly, his teeth nipping at the pristine skin of your collarbone. "i just didn't know how to tell you—didn't think you felt the s-same," he breathes out, stuttering the last word when your walls clench around his cock. bakugou curses under his breath, trying to ground himself by pawing at your clothed breasts, sliding his hands under your tank to feel the bare skin.

bakugou's words has fresh tears forming once again at your water line. "the same..?" you think out loud, a hiccup escaping your throat at the realization.

"f-fuck, y/n—," he chokes out, his balls becoming flush with the curve of your ass. "bakugou.. the same?" you urge on, a small gasp leaving your lips when his cock tip glazes against your sweet spot. it takes bakugou to find the strength to answer, but he does with a groan, rising his upper body to have a better look at the sight of you.

"..yes the same you dummy." he finally confirms, his eyes unable to lock with yours, instead choosing to glue themselves to the sight of your tight pussy swallowing his cock. without wasting another second, your hands fly to his nape, pulling him back down to kiss him roughly. the two of you moan into the kiss, your hands desperately exploring the skin of his back while his continue to grope and massage your breasts.

"hah—i just couldn't allow it.. i didn't want the others to have you.." he groans out, his hips speeding up against yours. his teeth bite at your breasts possessively, leaving dark red marks over the unmarked flesh. his possessiveness sends a shiver up your spine, making you impossibly more hornier than you thought possible.

"baku—katsuki," you mewl out, your fingernails digging trails of red into the skin of his back. his head nods silently at your use of his first name, his ears tingling intensely.

his head tilts up to face yours, unprepared for what you were about to say. "please fuck me. i need you."

with a few words of heavy profanity, all previously known touches of gentleness are thrown out the window and bakugou is throwing your leg over shoulder and practically folding you in half. bakugou is quick to cover your mouth with his palm, if not your screams of pleasure would be heard by all the other people in these dorms—and he's not quite on board with any nobodies hearing your pretty moans.

bakugou practically jackhammers his hips into yours, his cock tip bullying your cervix. your eyes roll to the back of your head at the foreign feeling of your cervix being fucked, of your cunt being mercilessly destroyed by a fat cock. your hand flies up to the head board, desperately attempting to find purchase on anything to keep you grounded.

his cock grazing your sweet spot has you screaming once more into his palm, creaming around him for the first time that night. "f-fuck—" bakugou curses loudly, his teeth drawing blood on his lower lip in an attempt to hide own moans.

your cunt walls have a vice grip on his cock, practical almost leaving him unable to move as you cum around him. still, bakugou works his hips in and out, doing everything in his power to prevent himself from cumming just yet.

in an last ditch effort to do so, bakugou lifts his palm up from your mouth, flipping your body so you lay onto your stomach. he's quick to shove his cock back into your overstimulated cunt, rutting into you like a dog in heat. bakugou doesn't find it within himself to care when you're moaning so loud that the first floor can probably hear you, neither does he care that he's fucking you so hard that the bed frame begins to slam against the wall.

all he cares about is destroying your cunt, destroying you, something he's been wanting to do since he's met you. "fuck, fuck, fuck, y/n you feel so fuckin' good—i'm gonna cum," he babbles, his cock growing hard at the sight of your fat ass bouncing with every impact of his thrusts.

you're no better off than him, moaning his name desperately like a mantra. bakugou finally comes with a sharp and deep thrust, pushing his cock so deep it has the tip flush with your bruised cervix. he groans incoherent words, most likely profanities, as he cums into the condom, his hands gripping on the swell of your hips as he tries to ground himself.

you cum just at the unmistaken warmth that pools inside of you, tongue lolling out of your mouth pathetically. your body twitches underneath his weight, hands weakly grabbing onto his biceps. "katssshuki.." you mewl out, stars practically twinkling in your eyes.

bakugou pulls out of you with a sharp inhale, taking off the filled condom. his cock twitches when you stop him just as he's about to throw away, taking the cum-filled latex from his hand and holding it over your mouth, allowing the cum to drip onto your tongue and into your throat.

he watches you with wide eyes as you practically suck the cum out of the condom before throwing it into the trash bin on the side of your bed. you look at him with a grin, licking your lips generously before giggling.

bakugou's face twitches uncontrollably, any remains of the composure and the obvious "better safe than sorry", he has left is discarded before he practically pounces on you like a wild beast.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

bakugou is jolted awake, his eyes darting to the door of your room. theres a couple of knocks, his eyes look for your clock, '5:04 AM'.

he shuts his eyes, fully okay with ignoring the late visitor before theres more knocks. bakugou, begrudgingly, gets up, only because he doesn't want you to wake up.

he wraps his lower body in a spare blanket, taking a few seconds to rub awaken more before he's inching the door open, just barely enough to see who the visitor is. though, his shoulders relax when he sees it's just mr. aizawa at the door, most likely checking up on your state.

mr. aizawa blinks unexpectedly at bakugou, surely not expecting him to answer the door. his expression softens at the realization, being quick to offer an explanation. "i was just coming here to see if y/l/n was alright.. but i see it's under control, right?"

aizawa punctuates the last word of his sentence with the tilt of his head, his eyes pointing out bakugou's half-naked body. bakugou in response sheepishly shrugs, muttering out a groggy 'yeah' before closing the door.

he stands at the closed door for a second, rubbing his eyes tiredly before turning around to go back to bed, your bed more specifically. he stops in his tracks for a moment before continuing, seeing that you're now sitting up and staring at him.

"katsuki.." you breathe out tiredly, practically purring when you feel his hand settle onto your hip, bringing you back down onto the bed with him.

the two of you share a chaste kiss, departing only to get a short breathe in before you're pushing your body against his, deepening the kiss once more for the nth time that night.

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[pillarsalt]

hi! i was wondering your opinions on how hrt affects the body? i hold a lot of radfem beliefs but i am trans (taking testosterone). would being a woman to you have to be completely about chromosomes? for example, trans men years on T do not have the same genetic makeup as cis women. same with trans women on E, their genetic makeup would be very different to cis men, and would more correlate to cis women. does this factor in who you consider female/male or having experience as women?

Hi there, thanks for reaching out.

Firstly, I think you may be a bit confused. Taking exogenous hormones does not affect your genetic makeup. Your dna will stay the same unless you're exposed to something extreme like radiation - this is a good thing because dna mutation is bad for you and causes cancer! Your genetic sex is immutable, a person with XY chromosomes cannot have their dna altered to have XX chromosomes instead.

Hormones will affect the expression of your genes, for example turning on facial hair production in women who are taking testosterone. This is why those patterns of facial hair, even in women, differ from person to person. The genes for it were already there, but hormone replacement therapy uses the endocrine system to change what signals get sent to your genes to tell them what features to express.

Beyond chemically induced genetic expression, there are particular physical features in males that do not occur in males, and vice versa. This is a feature of the /ancient/ evolution of sexual reproduction. Despite the variety of metaphysical beliefs about identity and personhood, the truth is that humans evolved to reproduce between two sexes, and human beings cannot change sex. Every cell of your body has your sex encoded within it. This affects us physically in many ways. I and most feminists believe that this fact should be irrelevant to any person's ability to pursue their passion, be themselves, and love who they love. Even so, recognition of biological sex is something important. This is really critical in a medical context. For example: men who receive a blood transfusion from a pregnant or recently pregnant woman have an increased risk of death by transfusion-related lung injury. Another example: tracheostomy tubes differ in size depending on sex due to dimorphism in average tracheal diameter. A women who is reported as a male risks considerable injury by having a male sized tracheostomy tube forced into her windpipe. A considerable amount of medications differ in dose effectiveness and side effects based on biological sex. Something as straightforward as a heart attack has different symptoms depending on if the patient is female or male. Denial of biological sex is dangerous, and as it stands, medical science has not advanced enough to change the biological sex of an individual. If you are born male, you will stay male for your entire life. You say that a transwoman who has taken estrogen is more genetically similar to a woman, I'm sorry but that simply isn't true. A male person will always be more genetically similar to other males than to a female person.

Determination of sex is very simple, it's about the easiest genetic test to do. They have kits for high school classrooms to try out ffs. We need to leave the "meaningful sex change is possible through medical intervention" thing in the past, all we accomplish with that is giving people false hope and an unattainable goal to fixate on. Sex is real and immutable, I wish it didn't matter, but it does.

And why it matters is, maleness and femaleness have become inseparable from certain stereotypes and assigned qualities by societies in human history. Overwhelmingly, the male people subjugate the female people. Since men, male humans, discovered womens' ability to give birth could be taken advantage of, it was capitalized upon. And this is the foundation of patriarchal society. Religions were founded to justify this as the will of god. To deny that women have historically been persecuted due to their sex is, well, misogynistic. There is no "woman feeling" that makes us targets for child marriages, FGM, trafficking/prostitution, and other horrors from the minute we're born and even before. No, it's the sex we were born with that makes the world think it can decide our fate. In fact, the way that people treat male children differently from female children is so different so early, that we are genuinely unable to study human behaviour unaffected by gendered expectations. This is what feminists are talking about when they discuss "socialization". There is not a single man on the planet who knows exactly what it's like to see the world from a woman's eyes, no matter how feminine that man is. Womanhood isn't something you can achieve or acquire through effort: you were either born a woman or you weren't, just like you were either born with detached earlobes or not. It's so simple.

All that to get to my final point: Yes, I believe the definition of womanhood comes down to biology, because anything beyond that is a meaningless stereotype. Women can do anything, be anyone, look any way they want, go through any experience they do. The one thing they have in common is that they are female adult human beings. There is not way to fail at being a woman or do it wrong, you just are. Womanhood is the experience of having been a female person in this world, and nothing else. There are certain things only female human beings need, like abortion and female contraceptive rights, access to spaces where we can be safe from our subjugators (male human beings), and the ability to define ourselves and fight for our collective rights.

(At this point you may object and point out that male people who identify as trans women are also subject to violence and scorn from men: unfortunately that is often the case, but this does not make male people who identify as women, well, female. We need solutions for them that do not involve requiring women to sacrifice our comfort and safety for the sake of a particular subset of men, because of the inherent risks involved and the fact that women do not owe men anything even when those men have it bad.)

One last thing: my opinion is that prescribing exogenous cross-sex hormones is unethical (so are all elective cosmetic medical procedures but that's a post for a different day). I understand the distress that gender dysphoria inflicts on people, however the ill effects of hrt are too numerous to condone. The huge increase in risk of stroke with estrogen, heart disease and uterine atrophy with testosterone, and the way that trans medicine studies are notorious for losing followup with patients after a year or less... it's short sighted and frankly, financially motivated. The amount of trans patients who are prescribed hormones without access to an endocrinologist, it's honestly infuriating. People deserve the best care possible, not lab rat bullshit where they cut you loose when it's not working out. I won't judge anyone for what they do to themselves to cope with distress, but I want everyone, especially girls, to be aware of the lifetime effects medical decisions may have, and that you also can find happiness within yourself without hurting your body.

Thanks again for your question, be well ✌️

[lokischocolatefountain]

Say No to Me

Series Masterlist

Fandom: Narcos

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: 18+ (Mostly smut with a garnish of fluff)

Word count: 5.7k

Summary: It hadn’t been a good day at work for Javier Peña— what was new? She knew she could make him bury his frustrations in her, but it was taking a much more convincing than he usually needed. It didn’t matter. She liked a challenge.

A/N: He’s a hot asshole and all but I think he’s husband material with those soft eyes and pretty hair. Warning: bad Spanish.

The dinner went cold on the kitchen counter as she sat at her desk, reading through the stack of essays she had to finish grading by the end of the week. He always told her not to wait up, scolded her for staying up waiting for him in the living room even when she had to wake up early for work.

She continued to not follow his request. She was tired most nights she waited desperately for the lock to turn to let her husband in. But it didn’t feel very wifely to go to bed before feeding her husband. He didn’t expect such things of her; neither of them were traditional that way. He didn’t expect much of her really and she didn’t expect much of him. He didn’t expect her to cook and clean, she didn’t expect him to come home on time. But she still cooked when she could and he hurried home whenever he could. It was why their marriage worked.

A smile curled her lips upward when she heard the door open. “Jav—” she gasped, standing up from her chair and rushing to him. Even in their dimly lit living room, she could see the splotches of red on his shirt.

He took her hands in his before she could take his shirt off to assess his injuries. She knew his job was dangerous, but never imagined she’d see him come home covered in blood.

“It’s not mine,” he insisted, dropping her hands to hold her face with both of his. His brown eyes looked into hers, pleading with her to just believe him. It was an ‘I know I always lie about work, but I’m not lying this time’.

He pulled her close to his chest, whether desiring affection or to distract her from the blood on his shirt, she didn’t know. She knew it was just her imagination, but she could feel the blood on his shirt stain her white top. Like he was transferring his sins on to her, giving her everything he had as he said he would in their marriage vows. She imagined him leaving red on her forehead as he kissed her, red in her hair as she imaged his metaphorically bloodstained hands combing through.

To her surprise, none of it fazed her. She loved him, brown eyes, bloody hands, guilty heart and all. She should be ashamed, really, that these things only made her want him more.

“Need you to say no, mi amor,” he said, grabbing her ass over her silk pajamas. If he actually wanted her to deny him, he was doing a poor job of convincing her to do so. They did not have a traditional marriage, but just this one part could be considered a bit too traditional. They would fit right in with the old expectations for women to put out whenever their husbands desired although none of them did it as part of their rather unusual lifestyle.

He’d given her a ring to wear over her wedding ring for when she wished to give him permission to do whatever he liked with her. It was with the expectation that it would go on and come off. She never took it off, giving him explicit permission to do with her what he wished forever. That didn’t stop her from asking, begging even to say no to him. She very rarely gave in.

“Stop touching me so good then.”

On second thought, they would not fit well with those old expectations. Purely because of how good he fucked her. Why would she ever say no when he always took great care of her? Why reject touches that lit her on fire and reminded her for days to come what she’d let him do to her.

“Just grabbing your ass, baby. Not doing much,” he said, pushing her into their door and holding her there with a strong hand on her lower back.

“It’s doing things for me,” she pressed her cheek into the cold door, her eyes struggling to keep him in her line of vision as he played with her body. He pulled the silk drawers down her legs, the fabric tickling her thighs before pooling around her feet.

“Oh? You missed me that much?” He asked, casually slipping a finger inside her cunt. She whimpered as she felt him force his way in, his finger exploring her as she imagined what he had planned for her, the ways in which he’d make her scream his name.

She nodded and said, “Sí, papi.”

She heard his breath hitch at that one. Good to know he liked that…

“Say no to me, cariño…” he begged, kissing and nibbling at the skin on her neck. He stepped closer to her and reached under her top to find her breasts. Usually, his touches were gentle but now, he grabbed, groped and pinched like a greedy man who wanted to take everything for himself until there was nothing left of her. Yet he was begging to be stopped.

“Whyyyy,” she whined, fucking herself on his finger, desperate to use any part of his body she could get to make herself feel good.

“I had the worst fucking day,” he said, bending down to whisper into her ear. The gruffness of his voice drove her mad, made her want to get on her knees and beg to be used for his selfish pleasures. “You let me have you now and I’ll fuck you up, baby. I’ll fucking ruin you,” he grunted into her ear and wrapped his hand around her throat. She felt the bulge of his cock through his pants as he rubbed himself against her ass like a desperate animal.

“Ruin me then,” she whimpered, making him tighten around her throat.

“Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Please Javi, hurt me… Want you to—” ruin me

She didn’t get to complete her sentence. All of a sudden, the man who was begging her to say no to him twirled her around to face him, his hands meeting at the middle of her top and ripping it apart.

“Javi! You fucking animal! Why did you do that?”

“Quit whining,” he growled, grabbing her face in his hand and forcing her to look up at him, at his fiery eyes. She would be able to cook up a smile if not for the iron grip on her cheeks. “I bought it for you and I’ll do whatever I want with it. Just like these,” he paused to grab her tits with the other hand. “—are mine to do with as I like. ¿Eso se entiende?”

“Sí Papi,” she gasped out with the little air she could have.

“Buena chica,” he smiled, letting go of her throat and caressing her cheek. She panted, letting air back into her body after being deprived of it for a little while. Losing air for just a little while was something she enjoyed, but only if he was the one robbing her of her breaths. There was just something so sexy yet comforting about letting the man she trusted play with her breath like that. Something about putting her life in his hands and asking him to play around with it knowing that he would keep her safe.

“Don’t know what I should have first…” he trailed, his eyes roaming her body. He traced the outline of her lips with his thumb as he continued, “This pretty little mouth that knows to put me in my place when we argue but begs to be hurt when we fuck.”

“Or…” he grabbed her between her legs, laughing when she gasped at the humiliating position she was in. “This pretty little pussy that creams at the prospect of pain.”

“Whatever you want, Sir… Please, just use me. Please…” She’d rather him fuck her pussy. It had been too long since they’d been energetic enough to fuck at the end of the day. It had been too long since he made her writhe and cry in his arms as she came down from an orgasm. But she wanted him to have a choice after the rotten day he’d had, didn’t want to deny him anything. If what he wanted was to hold her head in place and fuck her face, she’d let him. It was easy making that choice knowing he’d always repay her with his head between her legs.

“Fuck, baby! Who would’ve thought, huh? Can’t believe I once thought you were just a sweet little thing, a nice respectable professor. Didn’t think I was fucking a shameless fucking whore.”

She attempted a laugh, but all she could do was let out a breath. “Wish I could say the same about you, but you have shameless fucking whore written on your forehead.”

He let out a dry laugh and tucked her hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes as he leaned in, hoping that he would kiss her. Instead, she felt the tip of his nose in between her eyebrows. She heard him breathe her in and moan as though just her scent turned him on. He traced the tip of his nose down her nose, stopping at the tip and nudging playfully.

Bloodstains forgotten, she placed her hands on him, letting herself feel his broad shoulders, strong arms and the little belly she was growing fond of despite his constant complaining about getting old. “Gonna quit this job right-fucking-now, Cariño. Gonna take you back home and fuck you all day and all night. I’ll never leave this cunt, I swear.”

“Oh? And then what?” She asked, curious about what kind of future he fantasized about for them even if it was an unrealistic product of his hard dick.

“Finally knock you up,” he said, his eyes glinting as he pushed his fingers in and out of her cunt. “Todo el mundo debería saber que eres mi esposa. Our families want us to have a wedding, but I think this will be more effective.”

“I don’t know, Papi…” she teased, playing with the buttons of his shirt. It had been a longtime wish of theirs, to settle down and have kids. But his job didn’t have seem to have an end and their plans remained something to fantasise about when they fucked or sat cuddled up on rare Sunday mornings. “I don’t want to lose my figure. Don’t want you to lose interest in me and go back to being a manwhore.”

“It’s alright, Cariño. You’ve had this figure for a while, it might be time for a change. I might just end up loving you swelling up with my baby so much that I decide to keep you pregnant.”

“That’s financially very very—” she gasped silently as he hit a sensitive spot inside her. “It’s ir- irresponsible.”

“That’s okay, we’ll handle it. I’ll keep this fucking job, climb the ladder and make us some money. As long as I get to keep you fucked out and filled with my cum. Breed you, mark you the way men have been marking their women before rings and marriage licenses. Think about that, querida…”

She clenched around him, letting him know immediately that she was imagining this scenario and liked what she saw in her head. She imagined being only his, no responsibilities in life except to please him. Oh to be nothing but his plaything, to be used for him to get off, held down and bred over and over and—

“You thinking about that, hmm?”

She nodded, grabbing the arm that was between her legs and encouraged him to go faster.

“You can’t say much anymore, can you, slut?” He taunted, pushing her hand away from his before continuing his torture. “Fuckin’ love that mouth of yours, Querida. That sharp tongue, too. I think that’s why I dragged you to the embassy and made you my wife.”

She moaned, attempting to cry his name but failing. Whatever sound she made sounded nothing like his name, sounded nothing like a human woman. She loved his mouth too, even though her obsession was with his eyes and his nose. She loved that mouth that could make her cunt cream and her heart melt at the same time.

“But I keep you 'cause I love to shut you up. Love to stick my cock in your mouth, love to fuck you stupid with just my fingers like I’m fucking you now. Only I can fuck you stupid, my smart girl. Only me. All mine, aren’t you?” He asked, taking her lips between his before she could scream that she was indeed all his. He tasted of cigarettes and whiskey, something she couldn’t stand when she was his girlfriend but craved as his wife. It was a taste she’d gotten used to, grown to love. Perhaps because it was so masculine or because she’d identified the taste as something that belonged to her, just like the man himself.

She tightened around him and he noticed, smirking at how he could play her like an instrument. She clung to his shoulders for support as he prepared to yank her world from beneath her feet. When everything was unstable, when she couldn’t trust her own two feet, he was there, holding her up and making her feel so fucking good.

“Javi…” she cried, the kinky names she had for him disappearing as all she could remember in the thrall of her pleasure was his name.

“Sí, mi amor. Estoy aquí. Mi amor, mi corazón, mi vida, mi esposa. Estoy—” he continued whispering his sweet, sweet words. As wonderful as they were to hear, she drifted away from his voice, drifted away from him. The world had turned into nothing and she was suddenly shot up into the sky, but also floating down to the earth like a feather.

His arms wrapped around her and she felt herself be carried before her back hit the soft bed.

“Was that it?” She asked, panting.

“Do you want that to be it? You tired, Querida?”

“No way,” she said, still breathless. “You promised to ruin me. I’m not letting you get off until you keep your promise. I’ll keep you up all night…all fucking night if I have to.”

He hovered over her, his gaze piercing her as he watched her tits rise and fall in her attempt to catch her breath.

“I picked a wanton whore to marry, huh?” He teased, but she was in no mood to listen to his words. She’d let him talk later as much as he wanted but not now.

“Get to work, Peña,” she said, grabbing him by his hair and leading him between her legs.

“Oh, so I’m just Peña now?” He managed to quip before being shoved closer to her cunt. “Yes Ma’am,” he grunted before licking a stripe up her dripping pussy. He pushed her thighs further apart, putting her on display for his eyes. She looked away for a second before turning her focus right back to him, shy about being exposed to him but unable to keep her gaze away from his beauty for too long.

“Taste so good, Cariño,” he said, coming up for a breath. “I could live off of eating you, three meals a day for the rest of my life.”

“Would be a short life then, seeing that there’s no nutritional value to pussy,” she quipped, earning a slap to her pussy. Her legs closed by instinct, but he spread her open again. Before the sting of his slap could fade, he slapped her again.

“Disobedient little cunt,” he spat, slapping her again. She kicked her legs around, but there wasn’t much she could do to escape his grasp as he held her in place with those strong hands of his. She felt like she could be one of the people he chased. He would be so elentless, catch and pin her down, hold her in place with his strong arms and fuck! She whined at the next slap.

He brought his hand down again and her eyes squeezed shut in preparation for the impact. It never came. Instead she felt his thumb circling her clit. She looked down at him and pushed his hair behind to find his eyes. He smiled arrogantly from between her legs, his eyes mischievous and determined to cause her a lot of pain. He provided her a few seconds of mercy as his thumb left her. She noticed her slick on his mustache, whimpering at how much more handsome he looked with her all over his face. He slapped her again and she kicked her legs, almost getting him in the process.

“Please, please Papi! I can’t—” she shrieked as he landed another one.

“You either take what I give you or we stop everything. Do you want to stop everything?” He asked and she shook her head in disagreement immediately. She didn’t want him to stop no matter how hard it got, no matter how torturous his touches became. She wanted the ruination in his arms that he promised. She wanted to be crying, to be numb when he was done using her.

He alternated between touching her clit oh so gently and slapping her when she least expected it, the pleasure and pain merging into one until she craved the pain as much as she did the pleasure. At some point, her legs stopped fighting back, resigned to her torture. Her eyes glazed over and her Javi was but a blurry image. When she came again, she may have said his name. Or not. She wasn’t sure. Her thighs shook under the pleasure and she felt him pull her into his comforting embrace where she relaxed with her eyes closed.

“—can stop if you want to. Don’t worry about me, mi amor.”

“Still not ruined. Ruin me,” she replied, dazed. She wanted to know how far he could go. She needed to feel the full extent of his power over her, to know where the limits of his power were. For her sake, she hoped there were no limits. She hoped to find out she was all his even when he fucked her thoughts out of her head and she was nothing but a pretty body.

“You missed me that much, Cariño? I made you come only twice and you’re already so fucked out?” He peppered little kisses along her jaw before moving to her neck.

“Missed you so much, Javi,” she managed to say when she once again felt stable, as stable as she could be as his puppet.

He had been away too long for her liking, leaving his side of the bed cold and empty. They were by no means the kind of couple that clung to each other, but god she missed him. She missed him between her legs, on her lap as she read to him, at the dinner table appreciating her cooking, in their kitchen washing the dishes… She missed him so much.

“I missed you, too,” he said softly, laying her back down on the bed. She refused to part with him, holding on to his hand and interlacing their fingers to keep him from getting too far away from her. Understanding her need to be close to him, he gave up on separating from her and caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

“Ready for another round?” He asked, throwing her legs over his shoulders before diving in.

Two orgasms turned to three and three to four and so on. She’d lost count at some point, but he hadn’t lost his enthusiasm. Her body was on fire and he was the only one with the water to put it out. He had to be a cruel man for he did the exact opposite, lighting her on fire over and over and promising to put her out if she’d come for him “just one more time, Cariño”.

She felt a tear trickle down the side of her face, but his hands and mouth continued relentlessly, consuming every bit of her, body and soul. In her state of intoxication, she thought his hands were in too many places at the same time. She laid helplessly, unable to do anything but take what he gave as he forced her to surrender to him over and over and over and—

“Qúe Bonita,” he cooed, wiping the tears off her face as she sobbed. She didn’t even have enough in her to tell him to stop, to have mercy, to free her from his painful pleasures. But even if she could, she didn’t know if she would.

“Want your hole just one more time. Just once, okay? Open up,” he said, tapping her cheek with the back of his hand. She opened her mouth, grateful that he’d spared her pussy at last. She whined as he touched her again, too sensitive even for his now gentle hand. He collected the slick between her legs and smeared her all over his cock.

“Taste yourself on me, Querida. Taste what I can do to you,” he said before pushing the tip in. He placed his hand on her hair, petting her like she was a wild animal he’d tamed. He was getting her wetness all over her hair, but she couldn’t tell if it was something to be annoyed about. She couldn’t tell anything except the blissful pain in her cunt and his cock stretching her out.

He was so tender in feeding her his cock, so attuned to her responses. She didn’t even have to tell him to back away when it got too much for her. He read her so well that he knew just when to give her a breath. He knew her body better than she did, knew how to make it sing and how to make it beg, how to get it to surrender to his control.

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth. Fuck! Feel so good, baby,” he praised, the hand in her hair pushing and pulling her around his cock. Her jaw was beginning to hurt from the recent lack of practice, but she was sure he’d get her back to her prime over the week. The man had an obsession with shutting her up.

“Gonna fuck that smart brain outta that head,” he said, his quickening breaths combining with her moans and the lewd wet sounds of her mouth getting used. “Look at yourself,” he commanded, directing her to look at the mirror attached to their closet door. She caught herself, limp and useless but for her mouth. Her lips were swollen and her eyes were red. Her cheeks glistened under the light from the tears she’d shed. Her hair was all tangled up from his manhandling and her thighs had several marks the shape of his teeth. “Think your students will recognize you like this, Professor Peña? You think they know what a slut their whip smart professor is at home?”

“You think they wonder why you wear three rings? Bet none of them know that the third is just a license for me to use you up.”

She moaned around his cock as he pushed in and out of her throat, making him cry her name at the sensation. She wanted to grab a camera and take a picture of this moment to remember how thoroughly he used her.

“What a perfect fucking mouth!” He exclaimed, wrapping his other hand around her throat to feel how he stretched her out. “‘S like you were measured to fit around me, made to be my perfect little cocksucking whore.”

She clenched her throat tighter around his cock, letting her teeth graze him ever so slightly in the way that drove him nuts. Confident in how he held her up, she moved her hand from the bed and touched his balls, careful to not hurt him with her recently done nails. He twitched in her mouth and hissed at the sensation, making her smile victorious around his cock. He might think he had all the control with the way he was fucking her mouth, but it was always good to remind him that she could wipe his thoughts off his mind with just one touch.

“Gonna be fast now. Can you handle that, baby?”

She nodded, giving him all the permission he needed to forget he was fucking his wife. His thrusts were harder than they usually were, burning her throat. Her scalp stung with how mercilessly he pulled her hair. His other hand found her tits and dug in, leaving his marks on her flesh and making her cry in pain. Her jaw was sore and she knew her throat would be sore when she woke up the next morning.

She was fully out of control, having handed him the reins to her body and mind. She’d never done that with any other man before, just him. It was so easy to trust him, so easy to be content in being used as his toy knowing that he would still keep her safe. He would still respect her as his partner no matter the names he called her to get them off and the bruises he left behind on her body.

He went from coherent screams of her name to strained moans and groans. His grip on her hair slackened but he still kept going, pushing in and out of her mouth. She helped him along with her gentle touches of his balls and her sharp nails digging into the ample flesh of his ass. In no time, he was coating the insides of her throat with his cum. He pulled out too quickly, his cum now spurting out on her tear-stained face. She wished she hadn’t taken her makeup off, she would’ve made an even messier image for him with smudged lipstick and mascara running down her cheeks.

He didn’t seem to mind, looking more than just content with the sight before him. He laid her out on the bed and collapsed on top of her, placing quick kisses on her lips and her cheeks and her forehead. “Mi hermosa,” he whispered, traveling down to her shoulders and placing a kiss on her between each term of endearment. “Mi esposa, mi cielo, mi vida…Where would I be without you?”

“Doctor’s office, probably,” she chuckled. “Getting treated for STIs from sleeping around.”

He laughed and kissed her cheek, unbothered about the mess he made on her face. “Love this fucking mouth,” he smiled, giving her a quick peck.

A smug smile crept upon her lips as she said, “And you love fucking this mouth.”

“That I do, baby. Missed your mouth so much.” He bent down to kiss her lips as though proving just how much he missed it.

“Just my mouth?” She asked innocently, looking at him like a kicked puppy.

“You know it’s not just your mouth. Quit fishing for compliments.”

She slapped his chest playfully and tugged on his ear, making him shriek dramatically. “I shouldn’t have to be fishing, Javier. You should be complimenting me all the time.”

“You’re right, mi amor,” he said, taking the hand that slapped him. He brought it to his lips, kissing each finger and then her palm. He stopped at her ring finger with the three rings— a thick gold band with his name engraved on it, a thin one with a modest diamond, and nestled between them, a thinner silver that she wore to signal that he could use her as he liked. He paid the finger special attention, placing little kisses down to the tip.

He held her hand in the most gentlemanly way as he admired her newly manicured nails. “So lovely…”

“Mhmm? You like the color?” She asked, knowing very well that he did. The few times he got to accompany her to nail appointments, he always chose this shade of sparkly purple.

“You know I do. Did you remember to take money out of my drawer before the appointment?”

The man had something of an obsession with her nails, asking to see them and paint them for her. He took her to the nail salon when he could and insisted on paying. When he couldn’t accompany her, he made sure to slip some cash into her purse to pay for it.

“No, I’m sorry honey. It was a spontaneous thing with Carla.”

He tsked and dropped her hand like a petulant child who didn’t get what he wanted. She laughed and caressed his cheek with her thumb. “Are you really mad at me for this, Javi?”

“You know the rules. I pay for these nails.”

“I’m not going to argue about silly things now. I’m hungry. Go reheat the dinner and fix us a plate,” she said, shoving at his chest.

“You haven’t eaten yet?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

She shook her head and said, “I was waiting for you to come home. It’s been a while since we ate together.”

His eyes softened and he swallowed audibly. “I’ve been making you wait a lot, haven’t I?”

They had no expectations of each other, but he placed a lot on himself. He made promises she didn’t ask for and broke his own heart when he couldn’t keep them immediately. She wished he could be as patient with himself as she was with him. Tried as she might, she couldn’t do much to ease his worries. There was only so much a good fuck could do.

“Out of all the things you’re worrying about, our marriage shouldn’t be one. Okay?”

He looked away and nodded, but his eyes told a different story. She gently pushed his chest, getting her off of her so that she could sit up. She cupped his cheek and forced him to look at her. God, he looked so sweet, so vulnerable…

“I understand that things are terrible at work. I can see you’re worried about every goddamn thing. Work isn’t going great for me either. Our department isn’t being funded and my ass is being grilled for every— it doesn’t matter. Our home is all we have. I don’t want you to put a time on dinner and feel guilty about me waiting for you to come home. I don’t want you stressing over me not letting you pay for my nails. It’s a sweet thing you do for me, but it’s not like our marriage will be over without it.”

“Isn’t our marriage made of several small things? We do things for each other… I pay for your nails and you buy my shirts. You cook, I clean. You forgo a proper wedding and I…” he paused to sigh. “We got married at the fucking embassy and I got pulled for a raid and sent you home alone... We still can’t have kids because I’m so tied to work. We haven’t even eaten together in weeks. I’m not doing my part and I’m afraid that one day I’ll come home and you won’t be here.”

He wasn’t one to speak at length about what he felt. She could tell his feelings, see the burdens he carried just by looking into his eyes. But she didn’t know the specifics. She didn’t know he regretted not having a regular wedding. She didn’t know he was scared she would leave.

“I’m not going anywhere. And I never wanted a wedding for the sake of a wedding. You asked to be my husband and now you are. That is what you promised and that is what I wanted. I don’t care how we got there.”

“I left a woman at the altar.” He said, seemingly out of nowhere. His shoulders dropped as soon as he said it as though he’d been holding that information in for years.

“I know.”

“I never told you.”

“Laredo is a small town and your neighbors felt gossipy when I visited. I still don’t see what that has to do with this.” Once upon a time, that bit of information scared her. His ring still on her finger, she was afraid he’d stand her up too. But the woman he was supposed to marry, Lorraine, was quick to explain it away to her. If his ex was willing to clear him, she saw no point in being worried.

“I failed a marriage even before there was a marriage and now I’m failing you.”

Oh, you precious fool.

“You were young and stupid. That has nothing to do with us.”

“Now I’m older and still stupid.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. If you insist on believing that you’re failing in our marriage just because of some silly little things, there isn’t much I can do to make you see reality. I’m happy with you. I just waited a couple hours to eat with you. I didn’t fucking starve in that short time. We do these things in a marriage, Javi. You can’t take each little thing as a personal failing. You came to the campus to pick me up one evening and I was stuck in a meeting for more than an hour. Imagine if I thought I was a shit wife for that. I need you to let things go and enjoy yourself at least at home. Because all you’re doing right now is being miserable and ruining my great night with your sad little face.”

“Thank you…” he said softly, kissing her hand once again. “And my face is not little,” he mumbled.

“Oh my god!” She exclaimed, picking up her book from the side table and hitting him with it. “Go get me dinner. Pendejo.”

“So disobedient,” he teased.

“Cabrón.”

“Wow.”

“Viejo. Now go get me dinner.”

“Viejo? You’re older, Viejita.”

“By just a few months!” She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Realizing he was very much enjoying seeing her push her tits out, he dropped her arms and pulled their blanket up to block his view. “And I still look younger. You look so old people are going to ask if you’re my uncle.”

“Are they now?”

“Yeah. It’s all those worry lines. Idiota.”

“Rude.”

Before she could call him another name, he got up from the bed and walked away. She sat back comfortably and whistled as she got a good view of his bare ass and his broad back. She caught him laughing softly as he walked to their kitchen, his eyes still on her as he heated their dinner. His insecurities weren’t going to go away anytime soon. Her body would only become less prepared for motherhood as time passed. But, she had him and he had her and that was all the safety they needed to go on to the next day.

.

.

.

Series Masterlist

Read my other Pedro Pascal fics

[newkatzkafe2023]

Can we please get a nicole Watterson reader, please?

YES More scary Wife Privileges😈😈😈

(Lmk Wukong) He was quite fearful of you at first, but quickly found how beautiful, strong and and kind you are. Wukong also admires how protective of Him, Mk, and everyone you were close too You even beat up the mayor for how he abused macaque the way you did. From that day, Wukong knew you were the one for him as you would do anything in your power to get him whatever he wants and needs.

(HIB Wukong) You both are a pair of parents who work too hard, but love your children and will never stop. You simply want Him, Luier, and Silly girl to have the finer things in life and give them all the love and affection you have for all of them. Wukong appreciates your kindness and support, and you drive, but he wishes you would be so hard on yourself. You're an amazing mother and wife, so you should be proud of yourself.

(NR Wukong) He thinks you work way to hard and are to hard on yourself, especially when he knows that nobody is perfect. He's very aware of your emotional stress especially when you drive to get better things for yourself and your whole family, so your ambition can cause burnout at times. So Wukong would always take you out on relaxing dates, just to show how much he loves you and all the things you do.

(MKR Wukong) He was quick to fall in love with you and your fury, especially when dealing with morons🥰🥰🥰 He met you when you were fighting a group of demons that was trying to steal from you. He had learned their was more to you then your strength, you are kind, you are supportive, you are intelligent, and best of all you love him so very much that you would actively protect not just Fruity but him as well. You were of women after Wukong's heart infact you had his heart from the start.

(Netflix Wukong) Oh man you scare him but at the same time, especially with your temper And he thought he was easy to provoke. Wukong tends to make sure he doesn't upset or stress you our or else he get the same thing that demon got when he was insulted. He learns over time that you care very much about him and want him to have things you feel he deserves. He loves you for that he really does but please stop Exhausting yourself and makes him feel like a burden.

(BMW Wukong) It was love at first sight when he saw you level a battlefield. You were wild and ferocious and clearly knew how to fight against other demons, with that Wukong quickly bonded with you especially when you joined him in the war against heaven. You were intelligent, supportive, brutal, resourceful and very Ambitious ready to give him the things he deserves even if you have to fight for it. He also learned how dedicated you actually are especially when he was put under a mountain and 500 hundred years later, he found you standing outside waiting Patiently for him.

(Destined one) You both make a very good team in both battle and your marriage. You are mad intelligent and have a Strategic mind to help him in battle against the heavens.and some demons in the area. Your also a little more harsher to enemies or Practically anybody who messed with your husband showing how very protective you are of the destined one, your also very kind to him as you took care of him and all his injuries. The Destined one loves you so much even when your temper causes him to have some nightmares.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🤬

[writeshite]

How would Thor/Homelander/Soldier boy react to them accidently hurting (emotionally or physically) their bf?

Thor:

Probably the only one here with some emotional intelligence, and yeah, he used to be arrogant, but he's a sweetheart, an absolute angel. Thor is most likely very in tune with how you convey emotions, I mean he worships the ground you walk on.

If he hurts you physically, and you end up scared of him, I can see two things that could happen, he either distances himself from you for a while to work through the mental breakdown that probably hits him. Second option is he hovers; I mean, the man can summon thunder and control lightning - regardless of what species you are (Kree, Human, Asgardian, Elf, Skrull, etc.) - he's gonna be concerned cause I mean, he could maybe indirectly stop your heart, or crush your internal organs, or just hurt you brutally and painfully in any other way.

If he hurts you emotionally, he's groveling; he's doing everything in his power to show how sorry he is and how much he loves you. He'll probably ask you what you want, if you want distance he'll give it to you, he'll stay away until you call back and hopes it doesn't lead to a breakup.

Homelander:

Like father like son, I guess. Sort of. I think with all the time he's spent around people and getting high of approval, he at least has some sort of knowledge on emotions, but not like in a healthy normal way, more in a 'I've been around people crying and whining before I know enough to be able to speedrun the crying stage and get to the forgiveness part' if that makes sense.

Also, I feel like it would also depend on how your relationship is; if you and Homelander have a genuine thing going on, then he'd probably put in effort cause he doesn't want to lose the only source of actual genuine affection in his life. So you'd probably get an apology, some gifts, anything Homelander thinks will get him back in your good graces. And then cuddles.

If your relationship is a fling of some kind or fake relationship to hype the masses with no romantic feelings of any kind involved on his end, then you ain't getting no apology honey 💀, because I mean, he likes to embarrass people who he perceives have wronged him, so even if he's the one at fault for hurting you physically or mentally, it'll somehow become your fault, so he'll probably bring the fight out into the public, use Vought to paint you as the one in the wrong, if you don't want that to happen then you should apologize, you're the one who's wrong here.

Soldier Boy:

I love Ben, I do, but I know this man has like the emotional bandwidth of a rock like he's probably still trying to process being attracted to not only women while also trying to unpack his goofy ass douchebaggery.

I don't think Ben would notice at first if he hurt you emotionally, or if he does, he'd probably think you'd get over it and then be shocked if/when you don't. He'd feel bad and experience the wonderful world of guilt.

If he hurt you physically, he'd notice a lot quicker, and probably feel worse, I feel like he's the kind of guy who takes physical injuries/pain more seriously than emotional and mental.

[sleepingdeath-light]

poly yandere hcs + fem s/o ; dame aylin & isobel thorm

requested by ; nobody / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; baldur’s gate 3

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; dame aylin, isobel thorm

outline ; “poly yandere hcs for aylin and isobel”

note ; potentially quite ooc as i’ve never written for these characters before…

warning(s) ; yandere!dame aylin, yandere!isobel thorm, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, implied kidnapping, social isolation, lack of privacy, mentions of death, stockholm syndrome, can mostly be read as gender neutral but was written with a fem reader in mind

first things first, this is not a relationship that you will ever be able to walk away from… at least not without dying, and even then these women have plenty of experience between them when it comes to defying death itself so there’s still the chance that they’ll keep on chasing after you should you succumb to age, illness, or injury — and don’t think that after all they went through before meeting you (isobel’s untimely death and resurrection, and the countless partial deaths of aylin at the hands of lady shar and her most devoted followers) that one of their first priorities would be to find a way to cheat death for as long as possible, or to find a way for you and isobel to somehow match or share in your dear dame’s immortality

they’re both deathly afraid of losing you or each other again, which results in you never having more than a second or two to yourself — even if you can’t actually see isobel or aylin in the room with you (such as when you’re going to the bathroom), you can feel their presence through the door and they’re checking in on you verbally every few moments to make sure that you’re okay (and if you don’t answer swiftly or confidently enough for their liking then you can guarantee that the door to whatever room you’re in will be almost immediately obliterated or forced open so that they can each personally verify your safety)

both of them are extremely affectionate people, and are even more amorous than usual as they’re actively trying to make up for lost time, but despite that and their mutual obsession with you they won’t force you to do anything of that nature — you may have lost your sense of privacy and you may be forced to spend your life under their intense protection, but both of these women do still love you (in their own deeply twisted way) and won’t do anything to mentally or physically harm you

they can wait until you’re comfortable enough with them and your new life to eagerly reciprocate their advances and affections, no matter how long that may take — or, in other words, they won’t do anything until the stockholm syndrome sets in and they’re able to play pretend that everything is normal and you really truly do love and desire them as much as they each love and desire you in return

because of her oath to her mother and her followers, aylin is often called away from your homestead to go and perform some duty or another — this means that most of your time will be spent with isobel who is so deeply paranoid about losing you as she did aylin all those years ago, refuses to let you stray from her side the entire time her girlfriend is away

privacy is non-existent when isobel is running the household: you sleep with her body wrapped around you so you’re unable to move or get out of bed without waking her, you start your morning routines together and are attached at the hip until she starts cooking, you eat at the table side by side (so close that the edges of your plates are touching and you can feel her knee pressing strongly into the meat of your thigh as you sit), you clean together, you run errands together and she uses some enchantment or another to keep you right where she can see you (usually some sort of tracking spell — you can try to run away, sure, but she’ll find you immediately so you quickly learn there’s no point to it), you pray together at a beautiful home alter made in your mother-in-law’s image, you take care of the home together, you talk together (well, she talks at you and sometimes you’ll answer her questions or respond with a noncommittal hum to whatever it is she’s saying), etc.

when aylin is around, she spends pretty much all day obsessively making sure that you and isobel are as healthy as possible — she refuses to go through what she did with isobel ever again, which manifests as an unparalleled level of protectiveness over you both and your complete isolation from the outside world when she’s around (she can’t risk you catching any sort of illness, so this is her solution — of course when she’s away you and your ‘darling’ cleric do have to run errands in her stead, but when she’s at home she makes sure that you never have to step foot outside of the home at all)

very few people are stupid enough to try and save you or intervene in what you’re going through because of dame aylin’s status and reputation — the locals worship her as a renowned paladin and the child of their goddess selunê, most travellers are either quick to pick up on her heritage or are already aware of her role as the nightsong through the stories and legends they’ve heard, and for everyone else they’re reluctant to step in because outside of your kidnapping aylin is nothing short of moral and they don’t want to get on her bad side and cause her to abandon their people should they need help in the future — one or two particularly brave parties have tried to come to your aid… needless to say they didn’t succeed

though they do focus a lot of their efforts on keeping you safe and in their company, let it be known that their love for each other is none the weaker for it — in fact aylin and isobel are just as obsessed and protective over each other as they are with you, perhaps even more so as they have lived through the experience of losing each other once before, but as they’re well aware of how each other feels (and as they’re keenly aware of how loyal they are to each other) they don’t feel as compelled to constantly stick by the other’s side for any reason other than to enjoy each other’s company

when you’re still in your rebellious phase (aka not accepting that this is your new normal, that they are your girlfriends and, in aylin’s words, mates), they keep you as isolated as possible as they don’t want to risk you slipping away and getting hurt — but once you become complacent and accepting of your new life (aka lose your will to fight), you’ll find them to be pretty much perfect partners who will stop at nothing to keep you safe, happy, and as healthy as you can possibly be

(… aside from the lack of privacy and the initial kidnapping, of course, but by that point you start to forget what it’s like to be on your own so it becomes your new normal)

[clover0101]

haruka and what each animal on his case represents, an analysis

before we begin, general CW for the issues haruka's story deals with (neglect, child abuse, animal death, etc).

Throughout the MVs, animals play an important role in Haruka's story. I think each of these represents a part of Haruka, both how he perceives himself and how he wants to be perceived. Even if Haruka presumably has numerous animal victims, the ones most emphasized are dogs, fish, and rabbits.

1. RABBITS

Haruka is seen on many occasions with his bunny plush. It’s so important that it appears not only in Weakness and Undercover but also in graffart’s collab, where each item is importan on the character's story in one way or another (like mahiru and the mantis). I see it as a toy from his childhood that he’s very attached to.

The fact that it’s specifically a rabbit is interesting to me, as the rabbit is a prey. If we go to the unique point of view of Japanese culture, rabbits are also quite related to the moon. The lunar cycles are also an important symbol in weakness, showing white, blue and finally red moons over a red sky. The origin of the relationship between rabbits and the moon is debated between admiration as they are perceived as objects of fertility and health because of their reproduction, or a legend that spread from India:

"a rabbit can't tolerate seeing people die and jumps into the fire to become food, then Indra rewards him for his sacrifice and takes him to the moon."

The theme of self sacrifice and the ultimate reward one receives for it is reinforced by Taoism, where the hare, like the moon, dies to be reborn and represents immortality. More popularly, rabbits are also associated with good fortune. It being white also points to innocence, and in turn to the pursuit of something that upon attainment brings discovery, an idea popularized by Alice in Wonderland. Even if it's more seen as a weak and tender animal, it has also been culturally represented as cruel and capable of aggression, closer to what Haruka is than the role of merely a prey. Haruka wants to be seen as weak prey that the strong hunt, to be pitied and loved for it. To be perceived as someone to be protected, as he cannot defend himself, but this is contradicted by his own actions both in weakness and throughout milgram. The prey becomes the predator and gives way to the next animal;

2. DOGS

The dog is universally a symbol of loyalty and the effort it takes to form a training bond between a wild animal and a human. Dogs are seen accompanying men and being obedient to women.

Dogs are perceived as creatures that love unconditionally and are capable of giving everything to protect those they love.

In terms of personality and behavior, they are the closest animals to Haruka, who accepts and actively seeks to be guided and to be faithful for someone, to be used to feel useful and not abandoned.

Even if they are domestic, the dogs whose breeds are distinguishable are large dogs, considered to be hunting dogs. Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf.

Haruka being represented as a dog also creates a parallel with kotoko, who is represented by a wolf. Dogs are the friendlier, "clean" version of wolves, domesticated to be obedient, while wolves maintain a certain solitary air of independence and savagery.

However, whenever a dog is featured on screen it is accompanied by loud instrumentals and rather graphic visuals. In Weakness, child Haruka accepts and expresses affection towards the animal, who apparently is suddenly injured and runs away from him into a forest, where he is disoriented and confused. Haruka follows its footsteps and ends up seeing his hands in horror, realizing that he's the cause of its injury.

The perspective of present Haruka isn't so different, who now attacks it, destroying it until the only remains are the necklace it was wearing, ultramarine liquid and eyes, which I consider represent the opinions of others and looks that judge him.

I think the fact that this dog bleeds the same color as Haruka's is a not-so-hidden hint at the fact that, in a way, Haruka is ending up with a part of himself (this time a bit smaller, not being human yet) to escape people's judgments.

There are also many sayings that by mistreating someone, "you are treating them like a dog", like an animal, something inferior, but that still sticks to what the human wants and believing all their words.

In AKAA, we see that instead of being a mix of at least two dogs, they're now separate entities and different breeds that dissolve as Haruka sings about being reborn. Again, dogs often appear in stories as spirit guides, helping humans enter and exit the realm of the dead safely, representing a middle ground between life and death. Dogs are followers of their owners, not leaders, and no matter how close a bond they form with humans, they are rarely recognized as equals to us.

3. FISH

Most of the similarities between Haruka and fish are presented visually, with Haruka being a passive spectator of his own life, observing others from behind something akin to a glass wall that separates him from normal people. He's constantly surrounded by water drowning, and in one scene is even presented at a fish-eye angle, being watched by his mother.

In AKAA we can see two specific species of fish.

Yellow bobfish: they're very complicated fish to keep in aquariums because they release toxins when stressed and are naturally solitary once they reach adulthood, it's not recommended to have more than two in the same tank because they are territorial and aggressive among their own species, however it's friendly and sociable with fish of other species. It responds to stress with aggression and attacks its own kind (in this case other weaklings) just like Haruka.

Clownfish: they usually inhabit anemones, forming a mutualism in which they find shelter and food. Toxins from anemones don't affect them as they develop immunity to them throughout their lives to eventually live in them. Anemones benefit from clownfishes cleaning its tentacles. Clownfish often eat parasites and are also known to steal more food from anemones than what they give in return. They are also capable of changing sex from male to female. Seeing this particular species depicted tells us a lot not only about haruka, but about his relationship with Muu, as for the first time it's not depicted as a mutual need, a codependency that endangers their lives if they become separated, but a mutually beneficial relationship where both can exist separately, but live much more comfortably by relating to each other in this way.

Extra: Insects (specifically butterflies) and parasites.

The symbolism of transformation and metamorphosis is so present that it even took the title of both voice dramas. Caterpillars can only wriggle and are no different from any worthless worm, but after a season, they manage to transform into a butterfly: beautiful, admirable, much more memorable and lovable. Having been forgiven and meeting Muu, Haruka manages to "fulfill" his metamorphosis and become someone he believes is better. Still, from what is shown in AKAA, it doesn't seem that Haruka is entirely happy with this change happening - the monarch butterflies represents ambition and perseverance, but it seems to be rejected by haruka, who crushes it in his hands

Haruka longs for this transformation, but is unable to fully accept it happening. I think it's because no matter how much he changes and wants to be someone else, he can't get rid of the disastrous image he has of himself, or he has forced himself not to change so as not to be disliked even more by others.

Now, Kotoko is an important figure to Haruka despite not interacting much. It highlights both his codependency (or mutually beneficial relationship) with Muu as much as the fact that he assimilates a parasite.

This is a point I've made several times before, but Haruka's way of socializing is based on taking parts of others and melding them on himself, especially women. It started by stealing his mother's necklace and taking it as his own, continues by killing Mirai and stealing what he lacks, and ends now in a much more obvious way with Muu, imitating her personality, accepting her accessories and the clothes she chooses for him and even copying her sprite pose a bit.

If he had become closer to Yuno and Mahiru, I'm sure he would also start imitating their behaviors in one way or another. Haruka lives by taking parts of the women he surrounds herself with, and he seems to want to take something from kotoko as well, but it's still unclear what he wants.

What does all of this have in common?

Not only is the theme of change and rebirth prominent, but every animal that Haruka comes to hurt relates in one way or another to his desires, thoughts, or parts of himself. Figuratively, we can say that Haruka's case is about him eliminating and hiding every part of himself, until he murders his human victim, Mirai, who at the same time is the closest and most prominent part in him, with whom he wishes he could reconcile and exist together, accepting each other - for, unlike his other victims, Mirai is often presented as a friend and someone Haruka misses. I have yet to write Mirai's analysis on its own, so whether she is also a part of Haruka or not and whether all his kills are figurative is up to each one's choice, I tend to wander between both sides because I like both scenarios. In a less figurative way and taking the case more literally, these facts are simple trivia and interesting symbolism to consider when analyzing Haruka.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Your thoughts on demons?

Thank you for the ask <3

Absolutely real. Demons and The Adversary are absolutely real and absolutely have an affect on our lives. We see this 2 ways in particular in the Gospels and the Letters. In the gospel accounts we see demonic possession, which is something I do believe happens (my friend's mother, tho she doesn't like that word). In the letters however, this is not what is discussed. Rather in both the gospels and the letters there is another demonic influence: oppressive political powers.

Paul speaks of "powers and authorities" behind political entities (because "flesh and blood" are not our enemies). Jesus says the the hour of his arrest belongs to "you (the religio-political leaders) and the powers of darkness (the demonic forces behind them)". This revelation has completely changed the way I think of demons and politics, because I am not firmly convinced that spirituality and politics cannot be separated. But that when we see a nation that worships sex and money and (military/national) power, we are seeing a nation that is being energized by dark spiritual powers. Not that the demons conquered the government or something, that's not what I'm saying. Rather that those in power (and, sometimes, us as citizens) have unknowingly allied themselves with a dark spiritual reality, whether or not they even believe in one.

The list I've arrived at for recognizing a nation allied with demons (which I and the Bible term "Babylon") is: slavery; nationalism; oneness at the cost of diversity; the murder of the innocent; oppression of the immigrant, women, children (esp orphans), and the poor; extreme opulence for a select group of people; idolatry of money, sex, and power.

So, yeah, I unfortunately live in Babylon. We all do. This is why we "exiles scattered across the world" must pray for our nations.

I've talked before about the "horror of abandonment" and how it's not that God abandoned us, but that we abandoned God. Demons are a good example of this. Nations and individuals come under the influence of dark spiritual powers when they separate themselves from God's love and light. When the people built Babylon and elevated themselves to the roll of gods, Yahweh scattered them and handed them over to the rebel spiritual beings. When Saul continuously and arrogantly and cowardly (I really don't like Saul lol) disobeyed and disregarded Yahweh's instruction, Yahweh allowed him to be afflicted by an injurious spirit (whether this is a demon, rebel spirit, or not is actually complicated and I'm on the fence but the point stands). When the nation of Israel left Yahweh, their God, to marry foreign women, worship the gods of other nations, and enter into alliance with them, they were conquered by Babylon, the archetype of the city aligned with dark spiritual powers.

I am not sure if the Family of God cannot be possessed or not (I've seen people say that but I've yet to come to a thought on it) but I am positive that the longer you stay away from Jesus, the more you open yourself to that influence.

That said I also agree with C.S. Lewis that one can go too far in the recognition of dark spiritual powers. Yes demons are real; no we should not be terrified of them, nor should we be speculating about their names and whatnot (yes, people do this T-T). But we should be aware of their influence in the world, and firmly stand against it.

This was a lot so summary:

Demons and The Enemy are real and have power.

They are rebel spiritual beings and have rebelled quite often in Scripture, usually alongside a human rebellion (Gen 3; Gen 6; Gen 11; Ps 82).

The only power and influence they have is that which 1) God allows them and 2) we allow them. And thus we should not fear them. Rather we should "resist the accuser and he will flee".

Basically all of our countries have given themselves over to the worship of demons, though in the subtle forms of sex, money, and power. Thus it is our job to "seek the shalom (peace; wholeness; well-being) of Babylon" but also to call out the nations for their crimes against God and humanity.

One day all the nations will come to worship King Jesus and all spiritual powers will be destroyed and those humans who, in the end, chose to align themselves with them will be cast into Outer Darkness.

[queenvhagar]

I think the moment the show really went wrong was in episode 8 of season 1. Up until this moment they had a more or less balanced take on the brewing conflict. While obviously more oriented towards Rhaenyra as the POV character and more sympathetic to her perspective, I felt like the other characters were still their own and that the writing was at least somewhat attempting to understand or show each character's motivation, thus giving more balance to the sides. Characters still reasonably existed as versions of their book counterparts, and their characters were not fundamentally altered.

Episode 8 goes away from the previous, more balanced approach to the story. First, they decide to introduce the adult version of Team Green's figurehead, the claimant opposing Rhaenyra in this famous historical civil war, through an original character created to be his panicked rape victim, ensuring the audience will see him primarily as a violent abuser going forward, despite little credible evidence this was his character in the books, in order to make his opponent seem more favorable. Then the Driftmark succession issue is fundamentally altered. On screen, Vaemond petitions the crown directly and a deathly ill Viserys endures the walk to the throne to defend his daughter. Vaemond is executed from behind by Daemon in an instant, and his death is never mentioned again by anyone. Rhaenyra plays no part in his death and doesn't even speak of it. Contrast this with the source material, where Vaemond puts forward his claim to Driftmark on the correct basis that Rhaenyra's sons are not Velaryons. Rhaenyra hears of this and orders Daemon to find him and take his head. Then she feeds his body to her dragon. Vaemond's cousins petition the crown to get justice for what happened. Viserys orders their tongues cut out, and immediately after he is cut so badly by the Iron Throne that he loses his hand.

An approach that could have maintained certain qualities of the on screen depiction while portraying the conflict as more nuanced and balanced: make the original character one of Aegon's paramours, or a whore he brought back to the castle, showing that he is unfaithful to his wife now in addition to his character being a drunk. Have Alicent discover them together and send the girl away with coin and moon tea, scolding Aegon for his laziness and his disinterest in duty. This small change fits with the book accounts of Aegon as someone more interested in women and wine than being king (initially). While this version of the character is flawed, he is not an irredeemable sex criminal who enjoys violence and subjugation of others.

Then, have Vaemond publicly voice his claim to Driftmark, at High Tide, in front of the court, upon hearing of Corlys' injury and illness. When Rhaenyra hears the news, she tells Daemon, and together they plan, just as they did with Laenor in the last episode, that Daemon will act for her. They echo their words from before about how the people should fear their power. This time, however, Vaemond will really die for speaking about Rhaenyra's deception, and Rhaenyra will feed at least part of him to Syrax. Let Rhaenyra have agency and affect the story, while at the same time demonstrating the protectiveness she feels for her family and lengths she'll go to secure power for them. Daemon will still take his life, but it will be at Rhaenyra's order. Let Rhaenyra have the boldness and the fire of her younger self.

Vaemond's cousins come to King's Landing to demand justice. Rhaenyra and Daemon go to court to defend themselves, and they are somewhat shaken to discover that Viserys is on his deathbed and Alicent and the Greens rule in the king's absence. Rhaenyra feels vulnerable without her father. She tries to broker the marriage deal with Rhaenys, and she visits her father in the night to ask for his help.

Viserys makes a final stand to go to the throne so he can affirm Lucerys as a trueborn Velaryon and order the tongues of the Velaryons. As they are seized by guards, Viserys collapses, slicing his surviving hand on the throne as he falls. Everyone sees the throne has cut him. The Greens believe that the throne has spurned him for his unjust actions, and they see once again that the Blacks are willing to go to any length to protect themselves and secure their power. Meanwhile the Blacks refute the idea that the cut from the throne meant anything at all with his ill health causing the fall, and they see the whole affair as having been necessary to secure their power and protect themselves and their own from those who would take it from them.

The king's hand is bandaged before the family dinner, when both sides make toasts to the other as a show of amity for the ailing king, but when he leaves the tension returns and the fight breaks out. Rhaenyra leaves with her sons immediately without a word, as Alicent goes to put the king to bed. She gives him a sip from his chalice, and as she leaves his room that evening she stops the servant, reminding her of the instructions to inform Alicent immediately of any changes to the king's health, understanding that the king is not long for this world and tomorrow could be the day when all their plans start to play out. We can be left to wonder what was in the chalice - was it truly medicine and a continuance of Alicent serving the king in her wifely duties, or perhaps, having witnessed the day's events, and having heard from the maesters that his new wound would never heal, did she take it upon herself to end his life and start the new chain of events to follow?

A more balanced episode 9 would follow the previous characterizations of characters and maintain more of the integrity of the source material. Alicent, Cole, and Otto call and lead the Green Council together, insisting it's necessary for the realm and their family that the Blacks never take the throne for themselves. The search for Aegon occurs immediately, with Arryk and Erryk searching random whorehouses on the Street of Silk and Cole and Aemond going to a specific brothel that holds special meaning to Aegon (and Aemond) with the madame.

Eventually, Aegon is found by the twins in the Sept, where he went to hide when he discovered he was being sought after (and Mysaria sells out his location to Otto). Aegon is brought to the council, where Helaena and Alicent are, and everyone convinces Aegon to accept his crown: the Blacks had Laenor killed, and then Vaemond, and now five noblemen are mute for challenging their power. They didn't hesitate to take Aemond's eye and threaten him with further harm, and they won't hesitate when it comes to Viserys' sons existing with stronger claims than her and her bastards, according to Andal tradition and the Council of 101 AC. Rhaenyra will have to put them to death to secure her power, so Aegon cannot let her seize the throne in the first place. Aegon finally agrees to do his duty.

At the coronation in the Dragonpit, Aegon is crowned by Cole and Helaena by Alicent, and the crowd cheers the both of them. At the exit, Aegon mounts Sunfyre and circles the city in a show of strength. As he flies, he is surprised as Rhaenys and Meleys brush dangerously close to them as the two of them fly out of the city and toward Dragonstone. The Greens, watching from the ground, know that Rhaenyra will soon know of Aegon's accession.

Episode 10 can exist largely as it is, and end the same: Rhaenyra suffers the loss of her father, her throne, and her unborn daughter. Daemon takes an active role in planning to take the throne, while Rhaenyra shows restraint, somewhat paralyzed by the circumstances. Rhaenys and Corlys discuss Rhaenyra's role in Laenor's death and the betrothal of their granddaughters to her sons, and ultimately decide to back her if war should come. The Greens send an envoy to deliver terms (Otto is not present, for obvious reasons) and Rhaenyra receives them in the castle (she doesn't hop on dragonback immediately after giving birth, for obvious reasons). Rhaenyra decides to send her sons as envoys to gauge her support, and Lucerys is ambushed by Aemond in the skies on Storm's End. The last shot of the season is Rhaenyra's look of fury at the news, and the promise of war in her eyes.

[yoitsjay]

Stereotypes (MDNI 18+)

Painings: Rex X Twi'lek Fem! Reader

Summary: You and Rex always had a special bond. And after enough meddling from Anakin and the 501st, he finally tells you just what he's been feeling

Warnings: porn with a plot, bit of angst, racist stereotypes surrounding Twi'Lek women, smut (unprotected p in V) Rex is hot, creampie, sweet aftercare, sensitive Lekku, sexy ass reader, u finee

Word count: 4,541

Twi’lek’s had such a bad rep in the galaxy and you had to deal with that stereotype that all you were was a whore that leeched off others to make money. So you joined the republic GAR as a trained field medic. You were originally living on ryloth, and you had seen first hand how the republic clones saved your planet and your livelihood.

You worked closely with Cham Syndulla and his wife, and when you had told them that you wanted to join the republic as a medic, they were sad to see you go but understood that your extraordinary talents in field medicine could be a big help to many men who risked their life.

It took about a year for you to take all the tests and get all your qualifications in order, and it was especially hard because of your classmates and teachers who really held up the bad stereotypes against you. But you eventually got in and already you had proved just how good of a medic and doctor you were.

You bounced from battalion to battalion before you found a permanent home with the 501st, at least for a while anyway, and you alongside another clone who was also a medic oversaw a lot of men’s injuries and lively hoods. But because of you the death rate was at an all time low, while also having huge successes too.

To many others clones were expendable, but not to you. You showed these men your thoughts every day and within the next year you were as much as a sister to them as they were to you… especially Captain Rex… however he treated you with a gentleness that contradicted the way he pushed your battle boundaries, knowing that you were capable of so much more than just medicine…

He also cared for you in a way nobody had, not even the other clones you were with. He didn’t treat you like a sister, but you couldn’t pinpoint why… or what he was thinking necessarily.

You and the 501st were stationed on Kamino for a short rest and a supply stock up. You walked the long hallways with Jesse and Fives bickering behind you, acting almost like a personal guard.

The men you worked with may have been extraordinarily kind you you, but many clones were not, especially a lot of the first gen clones with the more… harsher generals. They gave you nasty looks, or some even catcalled you. One time a while ago you were walking alone to get medical supplies and stalk up on Bacta when a clone had backed you up into a corner and tried to do some… nasty things to you.

However Rex came to the rescue that day, and ordered his men to take turns accompanying you to stock up. And they did without question. You were grateful, but you could handle yourself and Rex knew that.

Like another time for instance, again on Kamino you were all in the mess hall eating, when a group of frat clones came up to you and started saying some pretty snide things. You didn't react at first, but when they joked about the kids on ryloth being raised as little whores you kind of snapped, spinning around with your meal tray as you smacked the main clone right in the head, knocking him out before you threw a couple punches at the others before getting held back by Fives, who was laughing his ass off.

You tried not to let these things affect you, but some days just took their toll…

Currently you were on coruscant with Captain Rex, General Skywalker and Commander Tano, who was always the kindest towards you, and you often did a lot of things together during your spare time and breaks, like painting each others nails or doing each others makeup amongst other things, she also started training you in self defense and melee combat with a knife, which would come in handy now that you got promoted to the frontlines.

As you were passing through the barracks you heard some teasing voices coming from the main cots and bunks, it was a big room and you often hung out there with Fives or Tup or Jessie. As you approached the door you started hearing their voices a bit clearer, and what Fives said next had your heart pumping as you moved your lekku to rest on your chest instead of your back.

“It’s so obvious that Rex has feelings for her, you all see these small touches on her lower back, or the hand squeezes he gives her after every mission brief. Or even when he hears her shouting orders to you Kix, we see his eyes searching for her just to make sure that she's okay!” Fives exclaimed, earning agreeable hums from the other clones.

“But does Y/n feel the same about him?” Jessie’s voice piped up, and you shifted slightly to see into the bunks through a crack in the door, seeing now who was seeing, but you could distinguish their voices now, they all had different tones or ways of speaking. You found it endearing…

Regardless you moved in closer, resting your hand on the handle while your other rested on the frame.

“Of course she loves him back, she has too with the way her cheeks flush every time he touches her. Every time she cups her hand over her mouth when he says something in that commanding tone he brings up when giving orders.” fives rebutted, crossing his arms over his chest.

You flushed at that statement. ‘Do I really do that?’ you thought to yourself, glancing around before continuing to listen. “Okay, then what do we have to do to get them to confess? lock them in a closet? in Rex’s office?” Kix asked.

However before they could continue planning you felt a presence behind you, quickly noticing it was Rex who was giving you a curious look, you squealed loudly, losing your grip on the door as it slammed open and you fell forward. You expected to hit the ground but you didn’t, and instead you felt a warm, strong arm wrapped around your waist.

You had your eyes squeezed shut, but slowly you opened one, keeping the other shut still as you looked at Rex, who’s face seemed flushed as he looked at you. You quickly relaxed, placing your hands on his armored shulders as he helped you up. You cleared your throat, placing a hand over your mouth as you glanced back at the others who all had smirks on their faces.

You glared at Fives, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at them, hearing them all laugh in response, but they made no motion to leave. You turned to Rex again, seeing him all flushed still. asked softly, seeing his hands tighten into fists for a moment as you used his title, not noticing how he shivered slightly. His brothers however, noticed right away and within seconds they had cleared out of the room.

You gently grabbed Rex’s hand and led him to one of the cots, pushing him to sit as you looked at his hands. “Are you okay Captain? You're not hurt are you?” You asked, standing between his legs as you grabbed your data pad and gave him a quick scan, picking up that his heart rate was faster than normal, and his face was abnormally hot.

Fives, Jessie and Kix were now the ones eavesdropping, but you didn’t notice, more focused on Rex.

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he stared at you, all fidgety. “Captain?”

“Y-yeah- I mean! no! no… im- im fine just… I need to talk to you- to tell you something.” He muttered to you, grabbing the data pad out of your hands, setting it down beside him as he then grabbed your hands, holding them gently.

“Okay Captain… whatever you need to tell me you can, i won't judge.” You said softly, still standing between his legs. He gulped again, glancing over at Fives who gave him a thumbs up. rex sucked in a deep breath, remembering the words that Anakin had told him.

“Don't be afraid when telling her how you feel, beating around the bush will just make it worse. Just tell her. The worst she can say is no.”

Rex stared at you, pursing his lips before finally speaking. “Will you go on a date with me? before we have to leave for another mission. General Sk- Anakin gave me some credits, and I want to take you somewhere nice… so…” Rex trailed off, looking away from you after seeing your shocked face.

So fives was right, Rex did have feelings for you…

You gently reached forward resting your hand against his cheek, turning his face towards yours as you leaned into him slightly. “I’d love to.”You whispered, pressing a kiss to his browline, rubbing his cheek bone with your thumb before you pulled away. Just then the clones who were all listening, which was a lot more than you thought, all burst into the room and cheered. Rex stood up and smiled down at you, before embracing you tightly.

Fives came up behind you and he gripped your shoulders, shaking you gently before high fiving Jessie, who grinned at you and Rex. “It's about time, we’ve been trying to get you both together for a year now! I guess I owe General Skywalker some credits, he did bet that he'd get you to say something first.” Fives joked, and you and Rex both sent him a look.

You turned to Rex, smiling brightly. “Pick me up at eight” You whispered, pulling away before turning to Fives. “And as for you, you shouldn’t be meddling into people's love lives.” You scolded, but he simply shrugged and walked off to go pay up to the general.

You had left after some more sweet words exchanged between you and Rex, making your way back to your quarters where you commed Ahsoka, and told her the good news. She was quick to come to your place of living in the barracks, and she had also brought over a bunch of dresses that Padme sent her with, since she was with Padme when you told the girl the good news, and then offered up some dresses.

So for a couple hours you and Ahsoka messed around and did little fashion shows for each other with the dresses, until you finally found a dress that complimented your skin tone, showed some skin to entice but covered just enough to leave the mind wandering. The dress had two slits in the front, revealing both legs while having a detailed and gold embroidered cloth hang between the legs. The back of the dress dipped into a low V shape, stopping right above your tailbone.

It was designed in a way where the fabric climbed up your neck, a strap that connected at the back of your neck, looking almost like a choker but connected to the dress. The middle part of the top was a window, which is where your cleavage was visible, and the window was a north star shaped one, which tied into the other starry and moon beads that decorated the bodice and then scattered around the skirt, the beading getting scarce the lower it got.

There was a metal chain that also rested around your lower waist, with matching stars and moons. You put on some long dangly earrings, a chain that trailed down and then dropped into a crescent moon. All the accessories were gold to match the embroidery… and Finally you had the lekku jewelry and headwear. You had removed the fabric and goggles that rested on your head, and replaced it with a starry chain headdress that circled around your lekku, it wasn't stiff, but the chain shaped perfectly and allowed for the freedom of movement.

when you finally stepped out to show Ahsoka she gasped, her eyes going wide. Padme also had shown up and she smiled brightly when seeing you. “Oh wow, your stunning sweetheart- Rex won't be able to take his eyes off of you.” Padme said softly, Ahsoka’s giggles following after. “I hope not…” You trailed off, and Padme noticed the hesitation. “But?” She asked, hearing you sigh.

“I'm worried about the stereotype around Twi’leks and being.. well… sluts… will follow me and Rex tonight and I really don't want anyone to ruin our time.” You spoke honestly, seeing Padme frown… until an idea popped in her head and she pulled what seemed to be a simplistic holster, she then handed it to you, followed by a small, silver blaster.

“Take this with you, and make sure it's visible… and it should warrant off any attention. and if not? Rex is there right? He will defend you.” She said, and you offered her a grateful smile before strapping the blaster to your upper thigh, making sure it was still visible.

“Thank you girls.” You said softly, breaking out of your thoughts when you heard a knock at your door. You sucked in a deep breath and stood there while Ahsoka got to the door, grinning when she saw Rex in a neat suit, thanks to Anakin probably. “Who knew you could clean up?” SHe joked, and Rex rolled his eyes before stepping in. He did a quick scan of your quarters, the republic did nice with this space in the barracks for you, and of course it was personalized to your tastes too…

But when Rex’s eyes landed on your figure, they were blown wide and his lips parted as his jaw dropped. You had one of your lekky loosely around your neck while the other one hung backward. You took a step forward, your heels clicking against the floor which snapped Rex out of his thoughts. He shook his head, reaching out to grab your hand. “your…” he trailed off, speechless.

You giggled, nodding to Padme and Ahsoka for the help they gave before leading him out of the room. “Thank you” You spoke softly, understanding what he was trying to say. At least you hoped that he was trying to say that you were beautiful, and he nodded in confirmation, squeezing your hand as he took a hold of it. But instead of letting go like he usually did, he kept a hold on your hand.

“So where are we going?” you asked him as you walked down the Barrack halls together, seeing Fives and the other 501st members cheer and whistle at you both. You knew that these kinds of whistles were not derogatory, but supportive. These men- Rex’s brothers were calling you gorgeous, and Rex handsome, knowing now that he could actually dress up.

“Well… it's a surprise. The general hooked me up with a good spot on Coruscant, not too busy, but romantic.” He answered, and waiting outside the Barracks was a nice black speeder, with a droid chauffeur waiting for you both.

You blushed and grinned at the effort that Rex had put into this date, and he helped you into the speeder before climbing in after you. Immediately your hands intertwined and you shifted closer to him, leaning into his warmth as the Lekku that was hanging behind you then shifted and slightly wrapped around his arm as well.

He smiled down at you, hesitating for only a second before he placed a kiss on your temple.

The night went by fanominaly, no snide comments from other clones or strangers, you didn’t even need to flash the blaster that Padme had given you. You spent hours talking and laughing with Rex, telling him all about your explodes as a child, and how when the Ryloth rebellion started, you were the first teenager to offer up arms and resources to Cham Syndulla from your fathers farm, and when you were old enough you joined as quick as you could.

Rex told you what it was like when he was a child, a cadet, even if it didn’t last long because of his accelerated growth. Regardless, after eating and a couple drinks, you and Rex were stumbling back into your quarters. You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, somehow managing to lock the door, only for Rex to pick you up with ease as your lips slammed into each other.

You whispered the directions to your bedroom and he took you there right away, using one hand to keep you up in the air while the other unclipped all the little accessories, letting the belt fall, followed by the little clasp that held your dress together on your neck.

Rex then shifted his kisses down your cheek and jaw before moving to the exposed nape of your neck, sitting you down on your bed finally as he pushed you back, his hands sliding up your exposed thighs before he removed them and instead tugged at the fabric on your hip.

A soft grunt escaped your lips and you lifted your hips, allowing Rex the quick motion of sliding the dress down before quickly pulling it down your legs, tossing it to the floor. He oushed back a bit, letting his eyes wander as he took in your full nude form.

Your cheeks heated up significantly and you moved to cover your breasts, but Rex quickly grabbed your wrists and instead pinned them to your sides, and continued his trail of kisses down your clavicle, past your breasts and then down the center of your torso. pausing right below your belly button before he rose to his feet.

He stared right into your eyes as he removed his suit jacket, loosening the tie which he then brought to your wrists, he paused, looking into your eyes, “Yes… go ahead.” You whispered, and without a word he tied your wrists together above your head, tying it to the bed frame as you shifted your positions to be more comfortable, now laying in the center of your bed with your head resting on your pillows, yout lekku on either side of our arms, curling around them slightly.

He quickly removed the rest of his clothing, and when he finally removed his underwear your jaw dropped, and your legs parted slightly in response. He was… blessed. That's the only word you could really think of that suited him. He was thick, and the perfect length. His tip was flushed, and already leaking pre-cum which told you all you needed to know about him wanting you.

There you both stood, silent as the night as you admired each other. Just then you reached out with your foot, hooking it behind his back, pulling him forward and onto the bed… on top of you. You tugged at the restraints, remembering that they were there with a huff. however you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist, leaning up to press a chaste kiss against his lips before laying back again.

Rex quickly chased it, letting his hands rest comfortably in the dip of your waist. you then raised your lekku, using them like you would use your hand, and you used the tip to brush against his jaw. A shiver went down your spine, one that he quickly noticed.

“Are they… sensitive?” He asked, sliding his hands down to your thighs as he adjusted you so you slotted against him, him in a kneeling position with your legs resting on his hips, his cock nestled between your cunt, which let a hot sensation course through your belly. You nodded to his question after a moment.

“Yes, very… but you can touch them… stroking lekku its- its reserved for intimate times, and can be touched by lovers… so… I want you to touch them, like you're touching me.” You whispered, seeing burning desire creeping up in his beautiful auburn eyes.

Rex then slid his hand up, cupping your cheek for a moment before he gently cupped the base of your lekku, which already sent a shiver down your spine, however when he started moving his hand down you couldn’t help the soft whiny moan that tumbled from your lips at his action. He paused for a moment but you could feel how his cock throbbed against you, and you whined at the feeling.

“Release my hands.” You whispered to him, and he nodded, setting your hands free which immediately wrapped around his neck. You quickly shifted your weight and you forced him onto his back with you now sitting on top of him. You subtly grinded against him, eliciting his own soft moan, which made you grin.

“I want you.” You whispered to him, leaning forward as he caressed the back of your head again, nodding in agreement. You lift yourself up a bit, sliding your hand down between the both of you as you stroked him a few times before settling his tip at your entrance. You were soaked, and with him caressing your lek with one hand, and your breast with the other, you were basically dripping on his cock.

So without another word you sank down on top of him, a loud moan leaving your lips as your head fell back, a low groan tumbling from his, which made you throb in response. “Oh Captain…” You whined, feeling him grip your breast before his hand fell to your hip, squeezing the flesh in his hands.

You began rocking your hips slowly at first, and then started picking up your speed when he started to rut his hips upwards, chasing you every time you lifted up before slamming back down again. Every time you bounced on his cock, you felt the tip nudge against her Cervix which drove you wild. and Rex too with the way he had his eyes glued to your face, seeing every way your brow quivered, or your lips formed an “O” shape when you were about to moan.

Soon enough he could feel you starting to slow your pacem but you were tensing around him, your orgasm building up in your gut like his was. But he didn’t want to even think about releasing yet.

So Rex quickly flipped you both again, making sure you were comfirtable as he lidted your legs up, pressing them back intil they reached your chest. Your eyes widened sliglty but you nodded to him, and just like that he started slamming his hips into yours, the wet and sloppu sounds of his cock sliding in and out of your cunt filling the room, as well as your shared harmony of moans and grunts and pleading words.

What you were pleading for you had no idea, maybe it was your release, or his. But whatever it was he sure as hell was giving it to you.

You opened your eyes after having them squeezed shut fot a few minutes, seeing the sweat collect on his brow before dripping down the side of his face. You quickly raised ypur hand to his cheek, using your thumb to whipe away that bead of sweat, his eyes locking with yours as he leaned down, stealing your lips in an abrupt and firm kiss, hot and passionate like your bodies were acting in this current moment.

A whimper escaped your lips as you tossed your head back, your hands sliding up his back as you dug your nails into his skin, dragging them down as his hips snapped forward. “Im-” You choked out, really not able to form any words. “cumming-” You moaned out, seeing him nod, letting you know that he was close too.

“Together?” Rex panted out, and you nodded, sliding one of your hands to his buzzed blond hair, letting your nails gently scratch his scalp before moving down to his back again.

Rex kissed you once again as if to silence your loud moans, that kept increasing and kept spilling out faster. “Fuck yes Captain!” You moaned out against his lips, hearing his groan as he thrusted one last time before both your orgasms shattered at once. Your cunt gripped him like a vice, and his hot white seed pumped into you, his hips bucking into you a few more times as you rode out your high together…

and when you were spent, and panting he pulled out and flopped onto the bed beside you, his arm immediately wrapping around your waist as he pulled you into him, your sweat and heat mingling together as he peppered soft little kisses all over your face.

“Your beautiful.” He whispered, pressing his lips to yours again, this time in a much softer and delicate kiss, which you happily reciprocated, resting your hand on his cheek while your lekku curled around each other twice. a meaning amongst Twi'Lek’s that meant ‘i love you’

You and Rex laid there for an hour or so, just peppering each other in gentle kisses, before soon you Felt him start to get up, However it wasn’t long before he picked you up in his arms and carried you to the fresher, starting the shower and holding you up while it warmed up.

When it was ready he cleaned you, and you cleaned him, leaning into his touch when he cupped some water and gently let it flow over your lekku. A tingling feeling moving up your spine however it wasn't one of arousal like earlier… It was just a simple touch, and you felt comforted by it.

Soon you and Rex were dressed and cuddled up on the couch you had in the middle of your living area, staring out the large window that gave you an extraordinary view of Coruscant. he pressed a kiss to your forehead and you grinned up at him. “I love you… i’ve loved you for a long time.” You whispered to him, hearing him hum in response. “I love you too… since that time you stitched up that big gash on my chest, from that wild animal on Dantooine…” He trailed off, and you hummed at the memory. “That was a year ago… why didn’t you say anything?” You asked him, your fingers sliding together with his, resting on your thigh now.

“I- I don't know… i guess i was just… scared maybe? scared that it wouldn’t be okay or professional to love you, scared that if I told you, you wouldn’t feel the same… scared that if I admitted to you and myself that if I loved you, I would lose you… and I didn't want to lose you.”

He spoke honestly, and you listened to every word. But when he was done speaking, you moved your hand to his cheek and you tilted his head so he was looking at you, and you offered him a warm smile.”I’m right here now Rex… and you're not losing me…not if i have anything to say about it.” You kidded, seeing a smile climb up his features.

And you were right… Rex never lost you… You stuck by his side through the clone wars, and through Order 66… and you grew old with him, and then you died together… nothing could ever separate you… ever.

[mickriccenergy]

Shiver

Chapter Five - P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

♡ Mick Schumacher x Reader, Best friend!Danny Ricc x reader, AND A SURPRISE!!!

♡ TW: Swearing, inaccurate timeline of F1/F2/F3, badly translated German using Google, blood/injuries (not graphic, but there is are mentions of it!), mentions of misogynistic thoughts and self doubt, not really graphic, but describes the sound of what doing CPR could lead to, not proofread, angst, badly written medical terminology, etc.

♡ She/Her pronouns are used, nothing descriptive about reader except that her hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail or braid, no reader insert, timeline skips. ALSO: WARNING!!!! I will barely be mentioning Michael Schumacher. I do not presume to know what he is thinking, or would say in these fictional scenarios. I am trying to be respectful of their privacy and not make any assumptions!!!!!! He will be mentioned here and there, but I do not believe any dialogue will be associated with him. If you do not like that, then do not read it. :)

♡ A/N: I also did this on mobile, so I will format it better if need be tomorrow morning on my laptop!

♡ 8.3k words

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Qualifying, Silverstone

The paddock once again was absolute chaos as you entered it. There were more cameras than you could count and more people flocking to ask you what seemed like the same seven questions. Being at Silverstone meant a lot for Mercedes, but even more now since Lewis Hamilton still could not race due to personal matters. He had missed the past four races, and to miss his home race was sure to add insult to injury.

And a majority of yourself felt terribly, because you were at an all time high. You and Mick scored second and third place in Monaco. In Canada, Mick scored his maiden grand prix win - a literal first for him. But the highs didn’t end there as Spain rounded its pretty face.

As the first female reserve driver, and now having to take over Lewis’ spot while he’s absent, the pressure was higher than ever. At the Aramco GP, Mick again scored first and you second. Mercedes hadn’t see ‘One-Two’ victories like this in a very long time.

But there was nothing to compare to the feeling of winning your first maiden grand prix when the Austrian Grand Prix came to you. In a stunning act of grit and perseverance, you managed to edge out Mick for first place. You don’t think you could ever have topped that feeling while the United States’ National Anthem wrung out at the racetrack. Soon, your DMs and socials were being flooded with girls and women that were inspired by not only you, a woman in motorsport, but a winning and successful one. You couldn’t help but feel moved and ecstatic that you finally had an impact on the world. And if anything, you wanted that to be your legacy.

“You and Mick have had an excellent run these last few races. How are you feeling going into Silverstone and does the weather affect your confidence at all?” The interviewer sat across from you with a polite smile on her face.

“Thanks so much,” You began with a wide smile. “I think if you’re in the UK this kind of weather is to be expected, so I don’t know if I’m really shaken about it - But, obviously the wet weather poses more issues than solutions, but I think we’re both confident in our abilities as individuals, and as a team.”

She asked you a few more questions and after the interview was done, you knew you had to get ready for qualifying. You headed to your driver’s room only to find an all too familiar blond haired boy waiting for you.

“Don’t you have your own room, Mick?”

Your friend opened your driver’s room door and allowed you to step into it first. Closing it softly behind him, he took a quick scan of the room.

“Yes, but I don’t like the thought of you being all the way over here by yourself.”

Ever since your father had come back about a month ago, Mick had grown even more protective of you. And you really didn’t mind it; you knew there was no arguing with him about that. You’d see him stealing glances at you during press interviews, and keeping an extra eye on you as you went to the Mercedes motor home for a coffee. You couldn’t blame him.

“Hopefully the rain lets up tomorrow…” You mumbled as you sorted out your fireproofs and race suit. “I don’t think it will though.”

“Probably not…” Mick straightened his posture in the chair provided in the room. “It will be your first race in the rain, Smidge.”

“So?” You shrugged, putting on your clothes.

Your bruises had healed quite nicely and thankfully, before your next race no one had inquired about your cheek. You had a slight inclination to feel as though a boy named Mick had something to do with that…

“Ich mache mir Sorgen um dich (I’m worried about you).” Mick stopped you as you finished zipping up your suit, his suit already tied and hanging at his waist.

Looking down at where he sat, he grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles. You reached with your free hand and moved some of his hair. Mick hummed happily as you moved your hand down to his cheek, caressing it reassuringly.

“Du machst dir immer Sorgen um mich (You’re always worried about me).” Mick shrugged in relinquishment, then stood to his feet and kissing the top of your head. You relished in what little privacy the tiny room gave you.

Between all the cameras, fans, interviews, and paparazzi - You two seldom had private moments together since your team’s winning streak began. Enjoying each other’s company in the quiet and stillness of your driver’s room, you leaned your head up against his chest, the steady beating of his heart giving you more than just comfort. As you inhaled the smell of his cologne, you made a mental note to save this moment for a rainy day.

“We should get going, or else people are going to get suspicious.” You finally pulled yourself away from him.

“Schätzen, people already think we are secretly married or leaders of a cult or something. I do not think us being absent from the paddock for five minutes will make them think any differently than they already do.” Mick let out a soft laugh as he opened the door again for you. Strutting out, you both went to your perspective sides of the garage to prepare for qualifying.

And as it came to be, you qualified fourth while Mick qualified second position. Your grid-mate Max Verstappen qualified with pole position. Overall, you and the Mercedes team felt quite confident for tomorrow’s race. Despite the inclement weather, everyone was excited for Silverstone as well as wishing Lewis was here as well. It was a weird and contradictory feeling that almost everyone had, too. This was his home race and being unable to race in it after not missing it for years, just had to be gut wrenching. But like Mick said, if it weren’t a serious issue, Lewis would have raced. And in truth and maybe a little bit of guilt, you had spoken to Lewis a few times asking him how he was doing and if he was okay. Always the gentleman, he reassured you that of all people, he would want you to be the one to take his place and that nobody but you deserved his seat - even if it was temporary.

You truly didn’t feel as though you deserved the friendship he’s was offering you and the encouragement he so freely gave. Yet, your words always overflowed with gratitude to the best of your ability.

You changed out of your suit and fireproofs, and back into the clothes you came to the paddock in originally. Waiting for Mick to do the same, you decided to go to the motor home to grab one more coffee. About ten minutes later, a very panicked and surprisingly of breath Mick rushed by your side while you sipped on your coffee.

“Schätzen! What did I say about leaving without me? I do not want… I just… Please do not scare me like that again.” Mick licked his lips, hunched over the coffee bar counter as he tried to catch his breath. Mick ran a very anxious hand through his now, undone hair, slowing his breathing down. All you could do was grin at the disheveled boy in front of you.

“I’m sorry, Mickey… I was thirsty?” You made your last word a question, because you know that coffee was not the way to replenish your thirst, but you wanted to try your luck at convincing him anyway.

“Schätzen… That is… Coffee…” Mick’s total lack of amusement shown across his deadpan expression. “And not for lack of trying, but why are you having a coffee this late in the day?”

“For funsies.” You grinned again as the two of you began to walk towards his car.

“I do not know what a funsies is, but how are you going to get any sleep tonight?” Again, you shrugged nonchalantly trying your best not to laugh at him. “How am I going to get any sleep?”

"What does your sleeping patterns have to do with my consumption of a very thirst quenching coffee, I might add?"

“You will be up talking in my ear all night during your caffeine high, no?” Mick finally broke the silence as he filed into the driver’s seat after making sure you were comfortable.

“No! I will not be doing that, in fact, I am going to… Do the opposite of that.”

Mick made his way to the hotel room making certain that he did not make you car sick. He always thought it was very strange that you would get carsick sat in the passenger seat, but not while driving at 200mph. But that was one of the many, many things he adored about you. About twenty minutes later, the two of you arrived at the hotel and made your way into his suite. You insisted that you could sleep in your own room… Three doors down… But Mick was more persistent than you had the energy to argue with, and what could it hurt?

The night went on and you both had gotten ready for the long awaited sleep. Trying to hide your caffeine high, you played some stupid game on your phone as you waited for Mick to get off the phone with his mother. Soon, he strode in and stopped in the doorway. There you were again, the picture perfect image of the life he longed for that he always kept near to his heart. You hadn’t heard him come into the room. You were still trying to focus on whatever game had your attention.

Mick quietly leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest, gleaming and glowing over the fact that he was going to share a bed with you. And sure, there have plenty of times the two of you have slept in the same bed, but there was a feeling pitting in the bottom of Mick’s stomach that he should pay extra attention to this exact moment. He didn’t know what it was, but most of the time his gut and instinct were right. You looked up from your phone and met eyes with Mick. His facial expression was soft and serene. Despite the tiredness you could see wafting off of his body, you too had that strange feeling in your stomach. His gray t-shirt clung nicely to his torso, while his navy blue sweats sat just so on his hips. It was as if you were taking a million mental pictures of this silent interaction between the two of you.

Mick made his way to the side of the bed you had cleared for him. You awaited for him to get settled before tucking yourself safely underneath his arm. Mick hummed happily to himself as he began to feel sleep take over his body, his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with each blink. Wrapping yourself tightly around him, intertwining your legs with his, you extended your neck as far as it could go to try and kiss his check, only for you to land on his jaw. His jaw pulsated in response and you could feel the breath catch in his chest. You. never wanted to forget this and you hoped that he wouldn’t either.

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Race Day, Silverstone

You took several deep breaths, exhaling as slowly as you could. It was indeed raining outside, which would make this race harder than usual… But also more dangerous. The famous Maggots, Becketts and Chapel turns hounded and clouded both your vision and your mind as you did your best to center yourself. You truly wanted to make not only Lewis proud, but yourself proud. Finally feeling grounded enough, you put your race suit on and made your way out to the garage.

You spotted Mick talking to his engineer out of the corner of your eye, hoping he caught you with his - knowing he would want to make sure you were alright, even if he couldn’t talk to you at that very second. Managing to get a few more stretches in, it was time for you to enter your car. From where you were sitting in the garage, you could tell that it was raining hard, but not hard enough for them to stop the race completely. Which had to mean the race conditions were safe enough for the drivers, which meant you felt immediately more relieved than you did ten minutes ago. Soon, it was time for the driver’s to line up for their formation lap. You could see Mick’s car two positions ahead of you, and you could almost hear him talking to himself you knew him that well. The lights went off and the formation lap began.

It wasn’t a terrible lap either, but you definitely could feel a difference in the way that the car handled in wet conditions versus when it is a dry race. And you were indeed reminded of so when you could feel the grip of your tires not performing the way you wanted them to even during the formation lap. You didn’t want anything to stop you from this race though, so you put that thought behind you. It was just rain after all. Taking one last deep breath, you focused on the lights ahead of you turning green - and away everyone went.

Lap 14

You were having trouble with your car, but not enough to want to retire it. It seemed like many other drivers were having issues after realizing just how rainy it was. Still, you persisted and managed to edge your way up to P3, while Mick held a steady pace behind Max. You were doing your best to fend off Daniel behind you.

Lap 22

Eight laps later and Mick had overtaken Max to claim P1. You were still holding strong at P3, which you really didn’t mind. If you could keep the pace you were going until the end of the race, you’d get a podium and you’d get points. And that’s all you could think about as you began lap 23.

That was until Max had dodged something on the track unexpectedly, and because of the rain you couldn’t react as fast as you needed or even see what it was that he was evading. The tires underneath you were not gripping the pavement below them either. And being that you were just behind him during the Maggots, Becketts, and Chapel you really tried your best to keep focused on the race. Max did his best and swerved out of the way of the debris, but you were not so fortunate. Maybe it was because you were a female and you didn’t have as fast of reflexes as a man… Or maybe it was because you didn’t train hard enough to be prepared for such a wet race. Or maybe it was just simply bad fucking luck.

Max expertly swerved and managed to save his car and maintain his safety, but he ended up clipping the right corner of Mick’s rear wing. Mick spun slightly out of track limits and hit the barrier as he was on the straight now.

“Mick, you alright?��� Mick’s race engineer could be heard on the radio.

“Yeah, just fine. Sorry about the car.” Mick sat quietly in his vehicle for a moment, honestly only feeling a bit of whiplash.

Mick quickly exited the vehicle and made his way over to the safe side of the barrier.

Seconds later, he could hear the unmistakable noise of a high speed crash. Fairly close to him too. He crouched down and put his arms over his head instinctually even though he was still wearing his helmet. He didn’t know what had just happened.

You attempted to also swerve to avoid whatever Max was avoiding, but you had lost all control of the car, and vision of the racetrack in front of you. The rain was heavily falling and if only your visor had tiny little windshield wipers, maybe the entire thing could’ve been steered cleared from originally. Seriously struggling to keep your car on the ground, something must’ve happened between the time you tried to steer into the infamous turn, and when you tried to steer away from the barrier.

You couldn’t see or feel anything, but the car flipping at least twice while you were still in it. The G-Force was so great you could feel yourself almost immediately passing out from it. Then you had hit something else besides the barrier… Something like a car.

“Can we know your status? Can you talk to us?” Your race engineer had repeated your name, trying to get your attention. You couldn’t figure out where you were or even what to say as you felt an overwhelming dizziness take over you.

“Okay, red flag. There’s been a crash. Red flag. Red flag everybody, please return to the pit lane for now.”

The audience could overhear every single driver’s engineer tell them the same thing. All the drivers wanted to know was who crashed. As the individual drivers began to return to the pit lane, there were several of them that had to drive past you to get there. Soon, silence and quiet so thick and looming fell over the entire racetrack. Even the grandstands were silent.

Mick finally stood up from where he was crouched, also attempting to make sense of what happened. He knew he would get fined if he went back onto the track, but truly the person who could’ve possibly crashed that soon after him… That wasn’t Max… Because he saw Max drive past him after he crashed into the barrier… Would have been…

Faster than he had ever ran before, he sprinted to where your car was hanging sideways and partly upside on the barrier. He didn’t care about any fines or penalties as he hastily scanned the cockpit of your car for any signs of injury. Motionless, you slightly hung with your helmet weighing your head down. He knew he shouldn’t touch you, or move you. He wasn’t a professional and he didn’t want to hurt you any further… But his heart seemed to break into billions of pieces when he saw you there as lifeless as you were. He removed his helmet, to try and get a better look at your status.

The rain was pouring harder, but Mick remained unmoved as he waited for emergency service to get to you. He was soaking wet, and probably very cold… But he didn’t notice. And what seemed like in no time at all, they finally arrived and started to assess the situation and the best way to get you out of your very damaged car. Mick stood idly by, doing his best to not get in their way. He knew for a fact he’d be riding with you to whatever hospital they were going to take you to, but the anticipating and the painstaking slow process of trying to rescue you was making him feel anxious and afraid.

“It looks like she broke her leg, maybe her arm too”

“Her helmet is a bit cracked on this side”

“Is she breathing?”

“Okay, on three, the two of you are going to release her belt, and then we will catch her”

“Is the gurney ready?”

“One… Two…”

“Three.”

The emergency service successfully lowered your body from where it had been hanging ever so slightly. Mick immediately was at your side as they put your unconscious body on the gurney. Mick had asked someone if he should remove your helmet, just in case it was obstructing your breathing, but they insisted that they would do that at the hospital. Mick could only trust them now. Climbing into the back of the ambulance with you, Mick scooted as closely as he they would allow him to while they hooked you up to the various monitors. Again, commotion started and Mick was demanded to move over so they could begin chest compressions.

Mick could hear the way your ribs broke underneath the weight of the man trying to save your life.

It was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

In record time, the ambulance reached the hospital, the man still doing compressions. The back doors flew open and the emergency room staff arrived at either side of you to begin triage.

“Sir, you’re going to have to wait in the lobby”

“Sir, you can’t come back here”

“Sir, we are going to do everything we can, but you need to give us room and head to the lobby”

“Sir, we will call security-“

Mick reluctantly conceded as he huffed out of the emergency room, only to catch your feet behind wheeled into some room. In a state of total shock and disbelief, he headed to the emergency room and approached the front desk.

“Hi… Hello… Emmmm… My friend was just admitted with serious injuries to your emergency room… Will there be any way I could receive… Emm… Updates?” Mick nervously tapped on the front desk, his race suit dripping water onto the floor. His hair had finally stopped dripping too as he waited for an answer. He could hum in anticipation.

“Are you related to this person?” The receptionist gave a polite smile.

“Emmmm, no. Not technically, but I am really all she has…” Mick pleaded with his big blue eyes to the receptionist, trying his best not to give up and cry in a ball on the floor.

“I’m sorry, sir. Unless you are family or her husband, then we really won’t be able to share information with you. But please, take a seat and we will do our best for her.” The receptionist motioned to the lobby behind Mick. It had a few people in it, which made Mick’s heart ache even more.

The driver thanked her and took a seat in the far corner. Sitting down, he took a deep breath and exhaled. He cursed to himself in German when he realized he didn’t even have his phone with him. Groaning, he put his head in his hands and covered his face with his now clammy palms. He truly didn’t know how much time had passed before he felt someone tapping on his shoulders. Mick rubbed his eyes and glanced up from where he sat.

“Hey… I uh, hope you don’t mind me being here. brought you your phone and like a change of clothes, and stuff… I thought you might want it.” The Australian accent permeated through the soundless lobby of the hospital. Daniel stood there with a slight smile. He was also still in his race suit.

“Oh god, thank you. I was just, uh, thinking about that.” Mick thanked the Aussie again, basically begging him to take a seat. To Mick’s surprise though, many more drivers, Toto and your race engineer, began to file into the lobby.

Mick stood to his feet and greeted everyone that had arrived with whispers of gratitude. He wished you knew and that he could tell you just how many people care about you. The drivers talked amongst themselves trying to recall what led up to that moment. Mick himself tried to get some answers. But to no avail, there wasn’t a solution to everyone’s current problem. The automatic doors opened once again and as if it were shot in slow motion, every single person’s head turned to the newest person joining the group of concerned drivers.

There were looks of worry, and some of disbelief exchanged throughout the lobby as everyone stayed still as they waited with bated breaths. Sure enough, Mick walked over to the man and pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I’m… Fuck, I’m so sorry, mate….” Max Verstappen was in the embrace of not only his fellow grid-mate, but his lifelong friend. The Dutch driver did his best to hide his tears of frustration at himself. Mick pulled away and gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“It could have happened to any of us, it is not your fault, I promise you.”

The other drivers and team members seemed to relax after the interaction between the German and Dutch driver. About an hour maybe two later, Mick said more goodbyes and more thank you’s to the people who came by, but needed to leave to finish up their own reports and debriefings of the now canceled race. Daniel stayed behind to keep Mick company. As close as Daniel was with you, he couldn’t imagine how this was affecting your best friend… Or rather, your soulmate. Daniel in true form, cracked some jokes here and there trying to ease the tension. And Mick did his best to reciprocate in kind.

Four hours later, Daniel was fast asleep as he had head leaned up against the hospital wall and his arms folded over his chest. Mick tried to get some shut eye as well, but at any moment he could have news about you. The German driver once more heard the automatic doors open and now to his astonishment, an all too familiar face entered.

“Lewis? Wha-What are you doing here?” Mick brought Lewis in for a tight hug.

“I saw the crash and heard the news, I was a bit far, but I drove as fast as I legally could to get here.” Mick remained silent. “I’m so sorry, Mate. That… It really should’ve been me.”

“For Schumacher?” The nurse spoke aloud as she held her clipboard tightly to her chest, looking around the room for anyone that might respond.

Lewis and Daniel traded extremely confused looks, while Mick just stood there awkwardly, trying to process if he heard the nurse correctly. Again, she repeated herself.

“Schumacher…?” Daniel half whispered/mouthed and half said aloud with a chuckle. The nurse just nodded. Daniel ended up having to elbow Mick to get him to snap out of it.

“Right, oh so sorry. I am Mick. Schumacher. Mick Schumacher!”

Even if the boy had been trained by PR his entire life, it definitely did not show now as he timidly stepped towards the nurse.

“Lovely. Please come with me, Mr. Schumacher.”

Before Mick followed the nurse, he jogged back to Daniel and whispered something in his ear that was inaudible to the Brit.

“Don’t let her dad anywhere near this hospital.” Daniel just nodded in response, going over all the ways he was going to prevent that from happening while Mick was busy. Daniel frankly, would rather eat snails before he let your dad near you.

Mick followed the nurse to some room of the hospital. You weren’t in it, so Mick didn’t quite care for it.

“Hello, my name is Carly and I am one of the nurses here. We see you are here for…” Carly searched the clipboard as fast as she could for your name. Saying it out loud making sure she got it right, she put the clipboard down. “She sustained many injuries during her crash, all of which the doctor on call will go over with you very shortly. I am just here to get you to sign a few papers.”

“What do I have to sign? I will be paying for every medical bill she has, that is not an issue.” Mick stated as a matter of fact while she put the pen down in front of him.

“That’s good to hear, but this is just more of a legal thing. We need your signature on these three papers indicating that you were made aware, consented to, and further agreed that you are now her official medical proxy.”

“Me? But we are not married or anything.” If he wasn’t confused before, he sure as hell is now.

“Right, well you don’t have to be married to be named someone’s medical proxy if they named you legally in the case of not being able to make proper medical decisions of their own volition.” The blond haired boy listened intently as she continued. “Legally, she has named you her medical proxy for all decisions relating to her care, and if needed end of life care.”

Mick continued to ask questions, but of course he signed what needed to be signed. The nurse thanked him for his time and instructed him to wait for the doctor to arrive shortly. Mick pulled out his phone and replied to a few people before he heard the door open again.

“Hi, Mr. Schumacher, I’m Doctor Collins and I am the on call ER doctor. This is the on call ER surgeon, Doctor Wyatt.” The two doctors shook hands and took their seats across from the troubled boy. Mick’s anxiety once again began to rise.

“We want to be as honest with you as possible, because if it were our loved one we wouldn’t someone beating around the bush.” Doctor Collins cleared his throat and took out some x-rays, while Mick only could nod in response, frozen in fear. “She sustained a broken leg in four places, her arm in two, and some broken ribs too. She also has a bruised spine.”

“I was able to put some rods in her leg to stabilize it while it heals, her arm in a cast , and as for broken ribs and a bruised spine, there’s not much to do about those except for pain management.”

All the medical jargon was causing Mick’s head to spin in circles as he tried to catch up to them. They went over your extensive injuries and did their best to be as docile, but straightforward as promised.

“We saw that her helmet was cracked when she came in, but until she wakes up, we won’t know if she has brain damage. Her CT and MRI both came back clean as of now.” Doctor Collins reiterated with the smallest sliver of hope tinged in his voice.

“All in all, we believe she will make a full recovery…” Doctor Wyatt began. Mick leaned forward in anticipation. “We did have to put her in a medically induced coma for now. The trauma to her body and the fact that crashed at such a high speed, is cause enough for it. And while it will help her leg and ribs heal… We unfortunately, wont know the full extent until she wakes.”

“How long will she have to be in that coma for, though?” After several minutes of receiving and attempting to retain the information being thrown at him, Mick finally spoke up, his voice small and scared.

“We’re unsure of that, really. It could be a few days, or a few weeks. The good news is that she does still have brain function. She does respond to stimuli, so the coma is really for her internal healing.”

Mick and the two doctors traded more information, finally allowing Mick to go and see you. They were exactly as you said you would be, your leg propped up with absolutely ghastly rods sticking out of it. Your arm was elevated with a pillow as it lay snuggly in its blue cast. You were attached to a ventilator, your eyes closed. Even so, you looked so peaceful, more peaceful than Mick had ever seen you. Mick tiptoed into the room, pulling a chair beside the left side of you. His eyes couldn’t help but tear up at the sight. They moved up and down your again, broken body as he shuddered with sadness and fear. Your body was never meant to look like this… It was the most beautiful thing Mick had ever seen, and yet here you were… You were still beautiful, by god were you, but you didn’t deserve any of this.

“The doctors said that you might be able to hear me… Even though you are… Sleeping,” Mick wiped the tears from his cheeks. He sniffled trying to keep his composure. You were all he had. “I just wanted to tell you that you will never be alone while you are here. I do not care if I end up having such bad body odor, I am not leaving!” Mick laughed to himself knowing that someone was going to eventually make him leave and shower.

“Oh, Smidge… Smidge, what have we done?” Mick’s voice went just above a whisper. “I keep saying I am going to protect you, but I never have been able to… But if you can hear me… Just know that… Just know that I am going to be here for you.”

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A week went by and true to his word, Mick only would go to his hotel room to shower and change clothes. You had many visitors, too. Mick’s mother and his sister often came by when it was time for Mick to rest. The other members of the current grid had sent you numerous bouquets of flowers, with Daniel and Lewis visiting you when they could. Mick had also announced that until you were better, he wouldn’t be driving and that there was an entirely new team for Mercedes. They showed great potential and everyone was thrilled to see what they could do.

Mick was startled awake by someone knocking on the door. Mick did a quick stretch and went to the door. To his delight, someone very special stood there with a bouquet of giant sunflowers.

“Uncle Sebastian! What on earth are you doing here?” Mick brought him into a close embrace, holding him closely for several seconds. Gesturing for him to come into your room, Mick thanked him for the flowers and put them aside.

“I guess flowers weren’t the most original idea.” Sebastian Vettel, four time world champion, smiled widely at the wide variety of bouquets that crowded one corner of your hospital room.

“Oh, please, you know she loves flowers and that sunflowers are her favorite. See, there are no other sunflowers here.” Mick put the sunflowers down and turned to face his closest family friend. Pulling out another chair for him, they both sat beside you. “So what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see her and maybe spend some time with her. And of course, to check on you.” Sebastian did his best to keep his expression neutral as he looked at your healing, but still wounded body.

“Did my mother send you?” Mick was only half joking, because his entire other half already knew the answer.

“Would you be surprised if I said yes?” Sebastian and Mick spoke for another handful of minutes, catching up and making sure each of their family’s were doing well.

“So what are you really doing here, Seb?” Mick finally felt brave enough to ask. Sebastian just smiled again, looking over at his friend.

“I’m here to take over for a few days. You need to get sleep that’s not in a hospital cot, and you need to eat something that’s not hospital food.” Deep down inside Mick knew this was a losing battle. “I watched her grow up, you know? I want nothing more than to sit with her and watch her heal now.”

With some hopeless arguing, Mick started to gather his things.

“Seb, do you think I could… Just have a few seconds with her? I just want to tell her that I will not be here for a few days.”

Sebastian pulled out his phone and decided to call his wife back home while Mick said goodbye. Mick made his way over to your bedside once again, and grabbed your hand.

“Schätzen… It seems as though I’m being forced out for a few days,” Mick let out a chuckle. “But I am just a phone call away, and even better - Uncle Seb is going to be here! I remember how much you love him… So, that will be fine…” The youngest Schumacher was finding it exceedingly difficult to leave you.

What if you woke up and he wasn’t here? What if you didn’t wake up and he wasn’t here? His mind was plagued with thought after thought as he mustered up enough courage to say goodbye. Placing a longing kiss on your temple, he exited the hospital room.

“Call me if there are any changes, even if they are small.” Sebastian pulled his friend into a hug and reassured him again. Mick took one last look at you before heading down the long corridor.

Sebastian headed back into your room, getting comfortable in the chair beside you. He hummed to himself as he relaxed the best that he could. Maybe that’s where Mick picked it up from… Sebastian grabbed his backpack off of the ground and rummaged through it for a few minutes. Finally, he pulled out The Fellowship of The Ring which was one of your favorite books. Sebastian debated reading to you in German, but he decided against it because trying to translate J. R. R. Tolkien was far too much effort than he wanted to put in this evening. He just hoped and prayed that Mick could get some much deserved rest.

“When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton”

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Three days had passed and Mick was due back any minute now. Sebastian truly loved the time he got to spend to you as he read your favorite books, and got to recall some of the fondest racing memories he had. He hadn’t told you some of the stories in a very long time, and some not at all before then. You always saw him as someone you could look up to, and the fangirl in you wouldn’t believe that four time world champion was reading The Lord of The Rings to you of all people.

Mick Schumacher walked up to the room door, knocking politely as to not to startle Sebastian. Mick pressed on at the welcome of Sebastian voice. Your bruising was much better, and even though you were still comatose, Mick could tell just by looking at you that you were in fact healing quite nicely.

“She was wonderful company. She quizzed me on the entire F1 Grid once again.” Sebastian grinned and winked as he scooped up his belongings.

“Again, huh? You already beat everyone in Grill The Grid with that!” Mick teased elbowing his friend in the side.

Soon, the two friends exchanged goodbyes and Mick once again left alone with you. He sat in his normal spot, recounting his days “off” to you. There was still media coverage about your crash, but he managed to make sure that your privacy was respected and that no one outside himself and the hospital staff knew of your condition. He was still protecting you even when you couldn’t protect yourself.

Another two days had passed, and Mick was down in the cafeteria looking for some lunch. It was only until he was making his way to the elevators and back to your room, when his name was being called over the intercom. The entire hospital was looking for him, which meant only one of two things:

Either you were dead.

Or you were finally awake.

There was a steady beeping that you could notice, yet do nothing about. Your body felt absolutely frozen where you lay. And truth be told, you had little to no memory of how you got to this spot. Your eyes felt crusted with over tiredness and too much sleep. Your body for some reason too, felt like it had just been stampeded by a herd of antelopes - paralyzed by the fear of your autonomy being stripped from you. You had to know though where you were and you were going to do anything you could in order to force your eyelids open to see the world around you.

Ever so slowly you began (or attempted to at least) to relay messages to your brain to try and open your eyes. You could feel something irritating your throat, taking up all space in there for air and for swallowing whatever saliva you could possibly muster. This did not feel good. As your vision came finally into play, you were more confused than you were before you decided to end your stream of unconsciousness.

You were in a hospital room.

And you were pretty sure you were hooked up to a ventilator as well, considering the low and unwavering noise that they make ringing in your ears. You could recognize that sound anywhere. It was one of the last things you heard before your mother passed away… And how ironic would it be if it were the last thing you heard, too.

You began to viciously cough as your body awoke from its seemingly comatose existence. Your own body was rejecting whatever tube or mechanism was down your throat. You just wanted it out, and over with.

Get it out. Get it out. You repeated in your head, hoping someone would hear your thoughts. The previous steady beeping of the heart and vitals monitor began to pick up as you continued to panic. It was as if your body was on fire, but as much as you doused yourself with water, it persisted and began to seep into your skin. You couldn’t escape.

A few seconds later, you could hear someone yelling, but your auditory system had not caught up to whatever conundrum you had found yourself in currently. Your vision was still blurry, though you had been awake for what seemed like minutes. A cacophony of shouting and other words you didn’t understand surrounded you as your eyes darted from blurry figure to blurry figure. You tried your hardest to focus your vision and your breathing, but something inherently was stopping you.

“Push the morphine, we need to get her relaxed while we extubate her”

“Careful not to hurt her neck, we won’t know the stages of her injuries until we can talk to her”

“Okay, can you hear me? My name is Nurse Elsie, I’m going to be removing the tube in your throat”

“Just keep your eyes on me, I know it’s scary”

“Tube’s out, let’s get her propped up and her vitals rechecked”

“We’re going to call your friend in here now, too”

And just as quickly as you had to watch and feel this hospital staff tend to you, was just as quickly as your mind began to play tricks on you.

Minutes later, you thought your shitty vision was really messing with you now. You remained silent as they entered the room, a small glimmer of hope echoed in the lines creasing beside their eyes. This had to be heaven, it just had to be. You had finally passed and soon your mom would be striding in, too.

Coming into clear view, the blond haired boy grabbed your hand and gave it a minimal squeeze. He didn’t want to hurt you any further. He looked older than the last you remember him to be. The lines on his forehead apparent that he’s aged some. He was also more muscular, his hair longer than the short almost buzzed hair you could last recall that he had.

But as he leaned in, you could see how bright his blue eyes really were under the fluorescent hospital lights. Suddenly, you felt a calming wave of relief wash over you. All that was left to do now was figure out how the fuck you got into this situation. Moving some stray hairs behind your ear, the boy you have loved your entire life parted his lips with a small smile - filling your now working ears with the sweetest voice you’ve ever known.

“Smidge?”

You could hardly believe your eyes.

“Ja (Yes.)”

Mick’s smile just grew wider and wider as he heard your voice for the first time in almost two weeks. The nurses continued to check your vitals and did their best to work around a very thrilled Mick. You were frightened though, knowing that you were in a hospital but had no recollection of how you got there. Mick wasn’t able to sit beside you just yet, but as he hung back his eyes never moved from yours. After the nurses were all done checking your throat and your leg that still had the rods in it, a very official looking doctor walked in soon thereafter.

“Hello, it’s good to see you awake. My name is Doctor Reynolds, and I’ve been watching you and your progress for the last two weeks.” You remained staring at Mick for any type of advice. “I’m just going to ask you a few questions, just to kind of gauge where you are. Is that alright?” Your eyes went from person to person as you looked towards Mick for the go ahead. Mick simply gestured slightly and nodded. And you followed suit.

“Great, can you tell us your name?”

You did your best to talk, but your throat was killing you. You took your time as you very weakly pronounced it.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Im Krankenhaus, glaube ich (In the hospital, I think).”

Mick’s ears perked and his attention turned fully. You hardly ever spoke German to anyone else, but Mick. You were always afraid of making a fool out of yourself with such a seemingly difficult language. The doctor’s eyebrows furrowed while he wrote something down.

“Right, okay. Do you remember how you got here?”

“Ich kann mich nur an bestimmte Dinge erinnern (I can only remember certain things).”

The doctor sighed as he turned to face Mick. Trying to keep it as hushed as possible, the doctor leaned in closer.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know that much German. Do you think you could translate for me?”

“Of course… But why is she speaking German?”

“It’s hard to say, but maybe this is just her brain’s way of comforting her. She seems to know you, and seems to know that you know German. I think she’s trying to figure out a way to come back to earth, in a way.”

The pair spoke briefly some more as you waited for the doctor to return. You looked around the room and saw what had to be twenty different bouquets, cards, and gifts on the other side of the room. The sunflowers particularly caught your eye as you sat and wondered who might’ve given them to you. Eventually, Mick pulled a chair and sat between you and the doctor. He grabbed your hand, and gave it a squeeze.

“Alright. Do you remember anything before two weeks ago?” Mick translated the doctor’s question in German for you. You shook your head. “And how do you know Mick?”

“Ich kenne ihn aus der Schule (I know him from school).”

“Do you remember anything about your car crash two weeks ago?” Mick was doing his best to catch up with the two of you.

“Das Letzte, woran ich mich erinnere... Ich wollte, dass Mick mit mir zum Abschlussball geht… Das konnte er aber nicht, wegen eines seiner Formel-3-Rennen (The last thing I remember was when I wanted Mick to go to the prom with me, but he couldn’t because one of his Formula 3 races).”

Mick’s face dropped, his expression deeply saddened. He remembers how badly he wanted to take you, but he was just starting his new season and couldn’t afford to miss it at the time. But again, that was years ago, and the fact that you couldn’t remember anything since…

“Okay, last question and then I’ll let you get some more rest…” The doctor took a deep breath and sighed. Looking between the both of you, the doctor knew this was going to be a long journey, and there was absolutely no way of telling if this was retrograde amnesia or something more serious.

“Was ist die Frage (What is the question)?”

The doctor looked at the both of you, your hand wrapped tightly in Mick’s. With a faint smile, the doctor made his way to the door before turning on his heel.

“Are you comfortable with going home with Mick so you can recover at his house or is there someone else we want us to call?”

You took pause as Mick translated the question for you. Truly, you almost felt offended at the question. But again, you really were in no position to argue since you had rods sticking out of your leg and your arm in a cast. And certainly, there was probably a certain legal/liability reason behind it on the doctor's end. Taking one last look around your hospital room, you finally answered. And unbeknownst to you, it was the answer Mick Schumacher had been longing for you to say since the first time he laid a very confused, but adoring eye on you all those years ago.

“Yes…" You began in English, your throat dry and your voice coarse. "Er hält mein Herz in seinen Händen. Es gibt keinen Ort, an dem ich lieber sein könnte, als bei ihm zu sein (He holds my heart in his hands. There is nowhere I rather be, than be with him).”

[writingsofwesteros]

Waves of passion is golden omg!! Laena being angry and heartbroken over Daemon leaving her, even after she'd given him the son he finally wanted, having to live far enough away yet still so close to the betrayal, with the two islands being so near. Staying on Driftmark with the girls and the baby boy after Laenors funeral, still healing from the birth and grieving her brother while her husband follows his niece to Dragonstone, taking her brothers widow as his desired wife without shame.

Aegon, drunk out of his mind during the funeral, finds himself stumbling into her rooms after Aemond had tried and failed to claim Seasmoke late that night... but she doesn't throw him out. The drunken prince finds himself thinking about the things he had heard of his beautiful cousin as a boy. Hearing of how she'd claimed Vhagar at 12. Of how she'd seduced the Rogue Prince during her brothers wedding to his sister when he was still a toddler, and had run away with him too.. now he looks at her and sees a fraction of the adventurous lady the women at court never seemed to stop whispering about. He finds himself wanting to see the woman he'd heard of.. and always desired, silently. He expected her to throw him out when he came to her room by mistake. But she'd let him stay.. had let him lay beside her, she ignored his questions of her husbands whereabouts, instead her responding whispers of seeing his grandfather kicking him earlier that night startle him into almost leaving.. until his cousin leans closer, he ignores the feeling of her body nestling into his back in the moment, but saves the thought for later ;), he feels her lips brush his ear as she then whispers that Aemonds injury was not his fault, his choice was not for Aegon to foresee and stop but the parents, he didn't fail to protect him... and oh, how he melts into her at that.. drifting asleep.. he wakes the next morning, hungover, and still tangled in her sheets, alone.. and finds himself wanting... he's made his mind.. he will not marry his sister.. he wants Laena.. he will find whatever excuses will suffice for Viserys to return to Driftmark, and often, because he now desires to seduce this.. sweet pearl of Driftmark...

Daemon may be too enthralled with Rhaenyra to notice the golden dragon of the prince being sighted going to and from Driftmark more and more over the coming months, but the smallfolk are not.. and when Rhaenyra and Daemon have their Aegon, Laena takes her kids and returns to Pentos... and when Aegon finds out she left, without a goodbye;) ... he is in such a huff about it, he should go see his whores.. or fetch a maid.. but now that he's tasted her, he drunk on her... and he flies to Essos.. determined to make her his in the free cities..

I ADORE THIS SO MUCH!

her lips brush his ear as she then whispers that Aemonds injury was not his fault, his choice was not for Aegon to foresee and stop but the parents, he didn't fail to protect him... and oh, how he melts into her at that.. drifting asleep this is so darling and heartbreaking, poor baby boy just needs affection, bless him!

Laena will have to put up with that pouting prince now as he turns up at her door, not impressed at all with her babes running to him

[ovaruling]

i found this very interesting, especially as a woman who has cheated death several times, came away from it disabled, and is now fiercely determined to live independently into old age, child-free (in this case, the relevance of that being the context of having no children to assist me with care or basic function as i age).

however, this is also important for all women, because being able to carry fitness (and by fitness i refer to the ability to complete everyday tasks and basic mobility without extreme difficulty or injury) into old age is a topic that affects us as a sex with some growing urgency.

statistically, we know (or should, by now) that women cannot depend on male partners/family members to care for us in times of illness or crisis, and that also goes for caring for us as we age. they leave. they shirk. they hope we’ll just die and relieve them of the burden of caring for us.

and even if male partners are not a factor, aging women ARE seen as a burden–to our families, to our friends, to our loved ones, to our doctors, to our governments, to our societies. having children or a partner or family members or friends does not necessarily guarantee that they will assist you in your old age.

so it is of utmost importance that we as women educate ourselves on how to stay as physically independent as possible as we age. here is an excerpt of the article that describes why i think this is so important:

"Think of the Centenarian Decathlon as the 10 most important physical tasks you will want to be able to do for the rest of your life. Some items on the list resemble actual athletic events, while some are closer to activities of daily living, and still others might reflect your own personal interests. I find it useful because it helps us visualize, with great precision, exactly what kind of fitness we need to build and maintain as we get older. It creates a template for our training.

I start by presenting my patients with a long list of physical tasks that might include some of the following:

1. Hike 1.5 miles on a hilly trail. 2. Get up off the floor under your own power, using a maximum of one arm for support. 3. Pick up a young child from the floor. 4. Carry two 5-pound bags of groceries for five blocks. 5. Lift a 20-pound suitcase into the overhead compartment of a plane. 6. Balance on one leg for 30 seconds, eyes open. (Bonus points: eyes closed, 15 seconds.) 7. Have sex. 8. Climb four flights of stairs in three minutes. 9. Open a jar. 10. Do 30 consecutive jump-rope skips.

The full list is much longer, with more than 50 different items, but you get the idea. Once they’ve read it, I ask them to please select which of these tasks they want to be able to perform in their ninth, or better yet 10th, decade. Which ones do they choose?

All of them, typically. They want to be able to hike a mile and a half, or carry their own groceries, or pick up a great-grandchild, or get up if they fall down. Or play 18 holes of golf, or open a jar, or fly somewhere on a plane. Of course they do.

That’s great, I say. You’ll make that kid’s day when you pick her up like that. But now let’s do a little math. Let’s say the kid weighs 25 or 30 pounds. That’s basically the same as doing a squat while holding a 30-pound dumbbell in front of you (i.e., a goblet squat). Can you do that now, at age 40? Most likely. But now let’s look into the future. Over the next 30 or 40 years, your muscle strength will decline by about 8 to 17 percent per decade—accelerating as time goes on. So if you want to pick up that 30-pound grandkid or great-grandkid when you’re 80, you’re going to have to be able to lift 50 to 55 pounds now. Without hurting yourself. Can you do that?

I press the issue. You also want to be able to hike on a hilly trail? To do that comfortably requires a VO2 max of roughly 30 ml/kg/min. Let’s take a look at the results of your latest VO2 max test—and guess what, you only scored a 30. You’re average for your age, but I’m afraid that’s not good enough, because your VO2 max is also going to decline. So you can pull it off now, but you likely won’t be able to do it when you’re older.

On it goes. To lift a 20-pound suitcase overhead when you are older means lifting 40 or 50 pounds now. To be able to climb four flights of stairs in your 80s means you should be able to pretty much sprint up those same stairs today. In every case, you need to be doing much more now, to armor yourself against the natural and precipitous decline in strength and aerobic capacity that you will undergo as you age.

Eventually, my patients get it. Together, we come up with a list of 10 or 15 events in their personal Centenarian Decathlon, representing their goals for their later decades. This then determines how they should be training. In the end, most people’s Centenarian Decathlons will probably overlap to a degree. Someone who enjoys stand-up paddleboarding, for example, would perhaps choose “events” focused around building core and cross-body strength. But she will likely be training the same muscle groups as I am doing for archery, and maintaining a similar degree of stamina and balance.

The Centenarian Decathlon is ambitious, no question. A 90-year-old who is even able to board a plane under her own power, let alone hoist a carry-on bag, is doing extremely well. But there is a method to the madness. These individual tasks are not out of reach. There are octogenarians, nonagenarians, and even centenarians right now who are running marathons, racing bicycles, lifting weights, flying airplanes, jumping out of airplanes, skiing the Rocky Mountains, competing in actual decathlons, and doing all sorts of other amazing things. So all these events are within the realm of possibility."

[luminousbeings-crudematter]

Reaper! Ghost (Part 3 of ?)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

Life is strange when you’re falling in like with Death.

It takes you by surprise, and then horror when you recognise the signs.  And even the realisation comes to you slowly.  

You go for a walk around the hospital floor with a nurse, leaning on every available surface and then the nurse for support.  And unbeknownst to anyone but you, Death follows you, silent and vigilant.  His hands shoot out to steady you every time you falter, remnants of long-forgotten instincts resurfacing, but of course, he can’t touch you, and he won’t risk touching you even if he could.  

You hear him, though, his sharp inhale when you trip, and his sigh when the nurse supports you in time, stops you from falling over and hurting yourself.

When you’re brought back to your room for some rest, Simon hovers at the door before you motion him inside.  You only notice his tightly clenched fist and his shoulders that almost kiss his ears because he relaxes them as he enters. 

At some point, the nurse lets you walk by yourself a little, hovering a few steps behind you, and you walk past the x-ray department, past radiology, then pathology, and end up turning the corner, straight into the children’s ward.  You pause there, and when your nurse asks you if you’re alright, if you feel dizzy or uncomfortable in anyway, you reassure him that you’re okay, you just wanted to look.  When you glance over at the large glass window, into the room where the babies sleep, you see three.  Girls, judging by the pink ID tags by the ends of their little cribs.         

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” your nurse says, squeezing your shoulder, giving you a minute.   

When the corridor is empty, you feel his presence before he even opens his mouth to speak.  “You want children?”

Your laugh is more scandalised at the abrupt, personal, completely inappropriate question than anything else.  But…were you going to explain the rules of societal propriety to the Grim Reaper?  You wouldn’t know where to begin. 

“I don’t know…I’ve never given it any serious thought.  I–I suppose?  At some point.  Maybe or maybe not.”

He nods, seemingly lost in thought again.  When he speaks, after a moment, his words seem measured, but his voice is raspy.  “With abdominal injuries like yours…women often worry about whether it affects their ability to have a child.  Have y-you—”

It shouldn’t take you by surprise.  It fucking shouldn’t.  He’s…old.  He knows and understands the ways of the universe better than anyone or anything—he is the way of the universe.  And this line of questioning is hardly rocket science (though he probably knew rocket science anyway).  Your own doctor had addressed it with you.  But it takes you by surprise anyway, and you attempt to cover it up by answering his question with one of your own. 

“You don’t find it sad?  You have to reap every soul ever born.”  You motion to the children beyond the glass with your chin.  “Even them, at some point.”

“S-sad?  I…I don’t remember what that feels like.”

You open your mouth to try to explain it to him, but you spot your nurse making his way back to you and that’s where the conversation ends.  You think that it may have been for the best.  Because how were you going to find the words to help him remember what sadness felt  like, explain a quintessential human experience to someone who had no need for it?  You didn’t think you’d have done a very good job of it at all. 

“I spoke to the doctor earlier this morning,” you tell Simon, a few days later.  “They’ll repeat my scans in forty eight hours, and if it’s all clear, they’ll send me home.”    

Simon nods.  He looks down at his feet and then back to you, seemingly unsure of what to say.  And…you understand.

Being in the hospital with you like this, it’s like you’re both in a bubble.  The memories of the accident are fresh, nightmares about it plague you, you can’t even hope to move on when everything reminds you of why you’re there in the first place.  But, in two days, you’ll move on from this place, go home, recover, resume the rest of your life.

There is a life for you outside of the stark and sterile environment you’re currently in, bright and vibrant and real.  There is nothing for Simon.

The thought bothers you more than you’re willing to admit.  You don’t know where you can go from here, or how, but you do know that you don’t want your connection to end.  

He’s Death, after all.  Omniscient.  Alpha and Omega and everything in between.  And you’re nothing to him, a speck in time and space.  A singular star in a universe.  Fragile, human, fallible, to his infinite.      

He nods again, seemingly in response to a thought he’s had, and when he speaks, he breaks your heart a little.  “I think…I think I feel sad.”

Life is strange when you’re falling in like with Death and He’s falling in like with you.  

[girlpanthera]

I know you mentioned that John was coming home due to his foot-- how would John react to the newfound Paul and George? Do you think, due to what he's seen and the trauma of it all, that he'd also get sucked in? Or do you think that he'd be almost like Ringo, scared for them and trying to help?

If it's too much of a spoiler, it's okay!! Just curious about John and him being away

I LITERALLY JUST SAW THIS NOW.

I think due to the fact he was already put off by paul when paul had left due to his injuries( inflicted wounds on himself so severe the medics dishonorably discharged him) he would hold that grudge.

in the story john has romantic feelings for paul, it's quite obvious, actually. Paul reciprocated at one point but when his mental health declined, his attention focused onto someone who was more vulnerable, that being george. this meant john already had so many reasons to already be upset with paul. on top of that, ringo had recently informed him about the way george and paul were acting. He was prepared for it but definitely not to the extent of how bad it got, especially on George's part. John would be wheelchair bound, or for his own egotistical sake, or for his sanity, he would use crutches or just crawl for that matter. At first he would agree with ringo, trying to be a caretaker for paul and georges sanity. But paul would slowly try to pull john into the idea of the wild women and the leopard soldiers with bits of affection, which john of course loved. He would even be more physical with him, knowing john loved him so much it wouldn't take a lot to really get him. This started to work, but paul realized that john wanted his constant affection, wanted to be literally glued to him to make up for the time they missed together in vietnam. Paul thought it was cute at first, but began getting annoyed and abusive to john when john got in the way of plans or his own ideas, often lashing out and hitting him or just choking john if he was mad enough. Paul was more centered on trying to specifically score george, which made john jealous.

at this point, after finally seeing how bad paul would rough john up, ringo would attempt to care for john more than the others, since john had more sanity than the rest of them, so he was more worth saving (he planned to care for john first, then george, and then maybe paul). John complained about this as he would be strapped down to his wheelchair, which he didn't like too much, but he got accustomed. He would even sleep in Ringos bed with him, with the dresser pushed against the door. if ringo didnt give him sleeping medications, that was usually when his memories of war kind of sneaked up on him.

During a really bad episode of PTSD is when john would see a wild woman for the first time, a stray one that just crawled into ringos window and hopped up onto the bed, plopping down beside him before beginning to mess with his hair and hold him till he eventually passed out on his own. He dosnt think too much about it the next morning, as he was convinced it was a figment of his imagination.