#thinking being passionate about a topic means they're autistic/adhd

[radmista]

Here once again to say: Sleep deprivation causes ADHD like symptoms.

This does not mean you have adhd. You are an instant gratification junkie, but you're also probably sleep deprived from binging TV and endlessly scrolling social media before bed. (On top of also probably being an overworked middle/highschooler, tired college/grad student, or overworked employee).

Take a nap and watch how your brain fog, forgetfulness, distractibility , and hyperactivity (jitters, leg bouncing tics etc) magically vanish.

you do not have ADD or ADHD. you live a soft life where you are coddled and instantly gratified by technology and your attention span and work ethic has suffered because of it. you are not an idiot in perpetuity because your brain "doesn't work". it is a trainable muscle. listen to classical music, read books, turn your phone off, and stop watching TV.

[youdontlookautistic]

Inspirational/motivational/religious speakers and being autistic:

This can apply in any sort of religious or political context, I'm currently exploring it from my personal experience angle because I am so far behind on the human train 😭(Strap in cos I don't think this is going to be very motivational)

I wanted to be a speaker for about 30 years before I finally woke up. Growing up in Law of Attraction made me see how motivational speakers were so.... invigorating and alive. They pulsated with so much energy it filled the room and everyone rode the wave (gotta ride that walrus amirite).

Context: I grew up in LoA. This stuff was taught to me from age 4. I believed nothing else.

I wanted to be that person. I felt like I had energy and words and lessons to teach others. Ngl. Still want to be that person.

But there was always that one thing that stopped me. That one little tiny thing that I just couldn't get over in order for me to commit and go. That liiiittle niggling thing at the back of my brain that was

cognitive distortion.

Motivational speakers and their lessons as they grow:

If you're someone whose entire brand is to transform others, the you must do as I say and as I do. You must be the example of your teaching.

Look at Tony Robbins. He has been on this pedestal of glory as the perfect example of how to overcome your challenges and LIVE.

That Oprah gif? My mum did that (like 15 years ago). She went to Tony Robbins, and called me randomly and in happy tears to tell me she loved me, and then walked over hot coals. For real. What a legend.

But Tony Robbins is just a dude. A tall, deep voiced dude who knows how to use his body and voice in a way to convey an idea that gets others to take action. This is a separate post but the cult vibes and techniques of motivational speakers are El Primo.

The catch:

What happens when motivational/life speakers realise they're autistic?

Example: the last author/speaker I really connected with was Mel Robbins.

I read her book 3 years ago and there were answers in it I'd been struggling with for my life. Things around the action and motivation cycle, things like routines and countdowns. She spoke to me. Those techniques still work today.

Well since then Mel has found out she's got ADHD.

I've also found out I've got AuDHD

There's something about the motivational speaking circuit that says neurodivergent to me. Sorta like Silicone Valley, there are certain areas/topics/cultures that naturally attract our kind. It may seem odd, motivational speaking, especially if your idea of an autistic person is someone who doesn't communicate well or is too shy or gets overwhelmed by all that.

No no no, not for me. Speaking is different. Speaking means:

I am in front, and separate to, the crowd

They are specifically here to see me and listen to what I have to say and it's about my special interest so really you're gonna have to drag me away.

Because I love helping people and have a passion for teaching, all that + my excited adrenalin overcomes any hesitancy. I have no issues standing in front of a crowd/group of people, I've done many talks and workshops in my past. I feel like I'm at my best then.

If the lights are bright enough I can't see shit, so I could feel like I'm in a room alone.

I can leave the stage when I'm done and essentially disappear.

With the right set up it can feel like a wonderfully safe and incredibly validating place to be.

A good motivational speaker:

On top of that this is sorta what's required to be an effective and successful motivational speaker in today's day and age (in my humble Tumblr opinion):

A very clear business head to be able to do both business and speaking. Along with marketing, promotions, tours, live streams, admin, etc.

Ability to remain emotionally and mentally detached from your audience and the media, keeping the bigger picture in mind, so that you don't get influenced by them but remain true to your own path. All while interacting with them one on one all the time.

A deep understanding of reading human behaviour, especially on a day to day basis where motivational speaking topics often lie

A constant need to question and probe the reasons why we do what we do. A need to FIND ANSWERS AND FIX THE PUZZLE OF HUMANS.

Belief in what you promote.

Be your authentic self.

That #5 might be a killer cos I believed 150% in what Law of Attraction was. I wanted to be out there and help people and transform their lives.

So what happens when #5 changes for the speaker? What happens to a speaker when they look back at all they've said and done and promoted and realised it was for a specific, niche crowd and not the masses? That some of their lessons weren't helpful and possibly actually quite damaging and hurtful?

I'm really interested because these people are in a role that they themselves have promoted as being self aware, accepting growth, being your authentic self.

Thus the cognitive distortion. I couldn't commit to being a motivational speaker when I didn't ever truly feel like I could live my own truth. Be my authentic self. On stage it's 100% masking. It's still me but I'm numbing a lot of myself so that only certain portions are visible.

How many public people of interest, across history, have had that sort of reflection and then gone on to rectify or change their approach vs doubling down, ignoring the damage behind them, and pretending nothing changed? I'd really like to know this.

There are many authors and 'gurus' I've reflected back on that I loved, and wondered if I connected with them because on some lower level we were both neurodivergent.

Wayne Dyer (RIP), I loved Wayne Dyer. He spent his life in pursuit of spiritual and emotional freedom and I still massively respect him for that. However he came at it from a 'manifesting' angle, since he was LoA, and he passed away from cancer. The guy suffered and died from cancer and all I can think is 'Did he blame himself for that? Did he tell himself that he manifested that cancer because of something he couldn't overcome in himself?'

It's so painful to think those thoughts of someone you so admired. Because what if he was autistic? What if he realised that this desperate need to find answers was actually a scientific, realistic suffering that he never explored? What if he wasn't autistic but something else just as valid?

Not saying Wayne Dyer was autistic. Just using him as an example because of how much he affected me (positively).

History is a pattern of religion/spirituality until it's science.

What happens to the people who are in the positions of power, when the foundations of what they understood now becomes concrete and something totally different?

I want to knoooow

[birdylion]

Re: the post i just reblogged about how neurodivergent traits run in families - it's why I never thought posts about autism applied to me, until others pointed it out to me.

No I'm not sensitive to bright lights, it's completely normal to sit around in a comfortably lit living room, right? Then someone else comes in and turns the big light on ("why is it so dark here, you can't see anything!"), cue outcry from my father, my brother and I because now it's far to bright and it hurts, turn it off. I don't have auditory processing issues, everyone like to watch films with subtitles and yeah of course it takes time to understand someone talking on the phone when you can't see them ("hello?" - "jdhfiendjep" - "I' sorry, what? oh yeah, of course"). Doesn't everyone has topics they're passionate about? (Outsiders: "why are you always talking about [...]") Doesn't everybody likes to know what they're expecting in a social situation, how else can you prepare? We need to make plans and stick to them (... and the total chaos and overall bad time that happens when other relatives barge in and change these plans). And so on.

"I don't have [symptom], everyone has it like me. It must be really hard to have it even stronger though" ... dude it's already hart now, just because my family is a group of recluses with very solid avoidance tactics that meant a lot of the things didn't become problems at home doesn't mean it's not [symptom].

If everyone in the family is like that, why would I think it was in any way unusual? It was always the outside world that was strange.

Not that my family is or was perfect - there were a lot of diverging and partly incpmpatible and badly managed needs, bad communication and emotional regulation. And my parents' inability to cope with (much less accept) change they don't want interacts badly with me being trans.

But things make so much sense when I consider the possibility that we might all be autistic (mum also probably has undiagnosed adhd).

[talisidekick]

This is a vent. Skip if you wish.

Yesterday was rough.

Losing my voice is something that I can't control. I just stop being able to speak. I've been good about masking it but I work in a job where I'm required to interview people in person about their IT issues. They use the wrong terminology constantly:

A monitor is the "PC".

The "CPU" is the tower,

"Resetting the CPU" is cycling the power supply by the button at the back.

The "OS" on a windows machine is the web-browser.

"Refreshing the OS" is minimizing and maximizing the web-browser.

"Cycling the OS" is refreshing the web-browser.

"Restarting the CPU" is making the machine go to sleep.

"Shutting down the CPU" is restarting the PC or lying to me they have.

I need proper information. And walking up and realizing I can't speak means I have two options (maybe), try to explain in text what I need, or running to grab a co-worker. My case notes are detailed because I never know when this might happen. If it does my co-worker can read the notes and immediately pick up where I left off. But when my co-workers are busy ... all I have are notes, and frustrated people.

I hate it. I also hate it when my voice comes back and I can chime in and people go "so you CAN speak" ... like I was lying ... yes, I can speak, no not always, no I don't control when it happens. Thank you for making me feel shitty though, it was nice knowing you'd ignore what I wrote to try and rub my face in the dirt the first chance you get.

Except I don't say that, all I say is "... if I'm lucky, yes."

Most days, I'd rather not speak at all to anyone. Talking to people is frightening. Can I talk? Will I lose it mid conversation? I've had maybe a full 24 hours of uninterrupted speach ability, when will I suddenly not be able to? This is why I avoid people, but I can't always and atleast my co-workers are good about it, but as our workload ramps up, they're starting to see just how often it happens. I'm worried they'll hate me for being "mute again". It's hard enough being transgender because people think it's okay to go off on me for not being cisgender like them, and suddenly I'm at the center of another issue I didn't ask for. I'm quiet about my plurality, but I've absolutely had an alter swap to drive and go off for hours on a passion topic, only to swap back and have me panic about my work performance. I can't let them know because what would they think of me? The ADHD diagnosed possibly autistic trans girl has more than one personality? I don't hate ADHD, I don't hate Autism, I don't hate Plurality, I don't hate Trans, I fear what people will think of me when they inevitably see who I really am.

I ... am scared.

[chriswhitewolf]

Omfg. Y'all.

Content warning for My Mom's An Ableist Bigot, Doesn't Support People of Color, Sia's 'Music' being an horrendous thing, and reference to the organization Autism Speaks and it's absolutely awful views on Autism.

Proceed at your own discretion.

I've been following the discussions surrounding Sia's movie Music (DON'T WATCH OR SUPPORT IT!) because it's something I take interest in and it's part of a societal issue I am passionate about. I've talked about it with my mother several times previously, just about how awful Sia's been and how harmful the movie itself is.

Today I mentioned that I'd learned that Sia worked with Autism Speaks to create the character Music, and how horrible that is when autism speaks is heavily despised by the autistic community.

And she was like "okay but what's wrong with autism speaks??" And I mentioned some of the stuff I knew about them that were awful, and eventually pulled up a video going through the timeline of events from its founding. She was on her laptop on their website the whole time being like "they removed the thing about curing autism from their mission statement in 2016" and just being like 'but their website doesn't say that now. And it came to a point where I was like "y'know even if we don't or can't see how or why or what is so wrong about them, the fact that most autistic people are against the organization is what really matters, because they're the ones directly affected."

And she goes "yeah, sure."

Like. I've been reminding myself that I really came expect much if anything from her at all on any topic, but like.

I've got ADHD. My oldest brother is on the spectrum. Literally two of her four children are ND.

But somehow the thoughts and opinions and voices of the autistic community shouldn't be the main focus??? Like. I know I can't expect much but I did think she was better than this.

It's just.

Like.

I can't. I don't have words to describe the thoughts and feelings this gives me.

I know she's an asshole, and an abuser, and tends to disregard things like the opinions and experiences of marginalized groups but.

I still believed she was at least enough of a decent human being to not react with that in this situation.

This isn't even mentioning her trying to defend the movie by being like 'but is she really trying to say that this is an okay way to treat autism and autistic people?' 'Are we sure she didn't intend well? Is she not just trying to show the harsh and painful realities of autistic life??'

Like. When it's that bad and that extreme, I don't give a fuck what the initial intentions were. Intentions mean jack shit to Impact.

I can call you an ugly fat asshole and not mean it to be upsetting or hurtful. But if it is, than that's on me.

Impact matters more than intention, and people have to take responsibility for the impact of an action or statement instead of arguing that it's the other person's fault for getting hurt by it.

Content warning: the text below may trigger some individuals, please take care of yourself and don't read if you might be triggered by:

Mentions of emotional and verbal abuse, disassociation

Also just cause I realize I haven't really mentioned this yet and I wanna update anyone who like cares:

My parents are hella abusive. I realize I have a lot of posts where I speak about my struggle to determine if their treatment was abusive or simply unintentionally insensitive. I did work up the courage to look for what qualifies as emotional/verbal abuse, and I was absolutely appalled by the sheer extent of the "criteria" their treatment of me meets. I actually was completely emotionally dissociated for the rest of the day after seeing just how much of what I've endured is abuse.

Unfortunately as I'm over the age of 18, and thus legally an adult, there's really nothing I can do as far as legal consequences. I'm also unable to move out or cut ties, as my health issues and disabilities prevent me from working. As far as the law goes, the most I could do is file a restraining order against them, which, again, I am incapable of living independently at this time. So, I'm hoping I can start picking up commission work on my Tarot Reading blog ( @chriswhitewolf ), and I'm working to improve my candle making abilities to start selling candles online. I own everything I need but I'm horribly inexperienced and the candles I've made this far are....lackluster and disappointing. Once I've got a decent skill set for it I'll start selling them and will update y'all on links to that. Thanks to everyone who follows me and shows their support in likes and comments and reblogs, it means a lot to me to know that people actually read the stuff I post and follow me.