#thinking abt how multiple people from my school asked me abt my thoughts on the m.cu doom casting back when that was announced...

[latestdreamgirl]

it always makes me so happy remembering im known as The Doom Guy to so many of the people i know ^__^ like even ppl i know who dont know i selfship with him tell me when they see new doom shit bc they know i usually have a bunch of shit to say abt it LOL

[earthtooz]

earth... i saw that anon abt rin x afterglow but hear me out... reo x sweet nothings........... WE'RE SO NORMAL ABT HIM

x : SWEET NOTHING :*+ﾟ i find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

in which: reo doesn't think he has many loveable traits. you show him otherwise.

warnings: domesticity fluff, 2k words, gn!reader, mentions of insecurity and food, pet names for the reader, there's a little angst but this is comfort, semi-unedited, semi-coherent writing sorry y'all it gets worse LMFAOOOOOOOO yolo.

a/n: this is 2k words of me purely loving reo. reo if you're reading this... hmu baby... WE ARE SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM. HERE. 2K WORDS THAT I WROTE ON A TOTAL WHIM THAT I DROPPED ALL MY DRAFTS AS SOON AS I SAW A REO ASK. this is the fastest ask i've ever whipped out. thanks for requesting :>

reo doesn’t think he has many lovable traits.

sure he’s popular, well-liked, whatever, and as much as he’s aware of how large his social circle is, reo can’t help but wonder if all of it is… just for show. that if the people around him know nothing of genuinity and dance towards him in exquisite gowns made of money, refined manners, and masks carved in ‘円’ symbols with expectations of expensive favours and luxury. 

it sickens reo a little when he thinks about it. on his worse days, he thinks that it’s all he’s worth: money upon money upon money.

is there anything else he has to offer? 

he returns home squeezed dry, mind racing with questions and he finds himself sinking under. everyone is up to something, everyone wants everything from him. he wonders when he’ll be able to take some of it back. 

the smell of steak cuts through his thoughts, filling his nose immediately as the athlete steps foot into his apartment. reo hadn’t registered how hungry he was until now, not having had anything to eat since lunch since he thought he’d have dinner but he left before it could even be served. got too fed up of the company to stick around.

since when did he become so… picky about his company?

walking into his property, he’s greeted with the sight of you dashing around his kitchen, plating multiple things at once whilst a pan sizzled atop the stovetop. it was his favourite; ichibo steak. reo’s stomach rumbles just thinking about it.

(he has an answer to his question: since you came into his life, showing him what it was like to be loved with the same fervour that he loves the rest of the world.)

“oh my-” you abruptly say, frozen when you notice the figure in the hallway, relaxing when you register that it was just your boyfriend who hadn’t the effort to make himself known. “reo, welcome home.”

he walks over to you with a small smile ghosting his lips. “hi love,” he greets, the two of you meeting halfway in a comforting embrace, one that reo melts right into. you press your face into the cold fabric of his suit, chilled by the cold weather outside. the smell of his cologne lingers. “what a pleasant surprise.”

you part, both wearing a lovestruck grin. “i hope it’s okay, you just texted me that you hadn’t had dinner and i thought it’d be nice if we eat together. sorry for dropping in without notice.”

he doesn’t know why you’re apologising. if he came home to this sight everyday he’d be over the moon.

hand cradling your cheek, he presses his nose against yours. “‘s more than okay,” he mutters before closing the gap in a gentle yet breathtaking kiss. his heart stutters back alive, pumping wildly when he feels you, so warmly, so comfortingly, so real, smile against him. 

“how was your high school reunion?” you ask, parting first. reo scrunches his face in distaste. partly at your question, mostly because he thought you pulled away too soon. 

he doesn’t want to think too hard about the bar he was at not too long ago, booked out specifically for said reunion to happen. doesn’t want to hink about the people crowding around him, asking about his career as an athlete and as the ceo of such a successful company. their praise leaves a sour mark in his heart. after two hours of the same questions, he had enough.

“left two hours in. should tell ya enough.”

“aww, sorry to hear that. hope you’ll feel better over dinner.”

“babe, i already feel amazing now that you’re here.”

you giggle at his shameless flattery before patting his shoulder, a subtle way of telling him to ‘knock it off’. “go get changed and relax. i need to cook the steak before it gets past how you like it.”

how he likes it.

reo is reluctant to go, making that known as he frowns whilst his hand squeezes your waist. you push him away with a gentle shove. “go.”

“okay,” he sighs.

after five or so minutes, reo emerges, dressed down into some comfortable pajamas. dinner is prepared now and you’d taken the time to prepare some juice as well- probably the one his dietician recommended for his athlete diet. he doesn’t like drinking it, you know that, and the only time he does is when you force him to (you promise to give him kisses in exchange and the drink is down in three seconds).

he stares at it in disdain. you, knowing him too well, reads his mind and began laughing, recalling all the inside jokes you have around this pesky little beverage. “c’mon, let’s eat,” you prompt and reo doesn’t even have to think twice before complying.

dinner is simple. it’s a really random assortment of dishes, you both have a bowl of udon, a plate of veggies to share, and there’s miso soup on the side. he appreciates the effort you put into getting all the nutrients he needs despite how demanding it can be. 

“thank you for the food.” 

reo digs in without hesitation, humming at the first taste of a warm meal after such a cold and unforgiving night. it warms him from the inside and suddenly, all misfortunes he’d experienced tonight become nothing but forgotten memories that’ll eventually be left to rot in the crevices of his mind, outshone by the sight of your smile and affectionate gaze.

“is it good?” you ask.

it’s amazing. incredible. the best food he’s ever had because of who it was made by. he doesn’t get to express that though so he just nods viciously, glancing over at your laughing form as he slurps his udon very ungraciously.

you don’t judge. you never judge.

“i’m glad, but please slow down.”

“sorry, i’m just really hungry,” reo confesses.

“i can see. you murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. he keens at your touch, putting down his bowl to drag your chair closer, his thigh now pressed against yours. you chuckle a little at his actions, flustered by the small action.

this is love, reo thinks. you’re laughing together under the bright lights of his kitchen and this is the epitome of love.

he’s home. he’s welcomed. he’s safe. he’s him. he’s loved.

dinner goes by uneventfully, save for when you needed to feed the purple-haired the juice in order for him to drink it, causing you to mock his face of disgust and reo kissing you to shut you up. after a while of talking over empty plates of food, your legs have somehow ended up in his lap whilst he mindlessly draws on your thigh. a heart, his name with yours, and quick scribbles of ‘i love you’ over and over again. 

tonight was disruptful. his soul feels deconstructed, but with each passing second in your presence, he feels okay again. you strip him of his tiresome prestige and welcome him into the realm of normality, somewhere he has craved to be all his life. 

you kiss his scars and leave promises on them, loving all the beautiful and ugly parts of him, parts that he had never let anyone see before you.

the yawn that escapes you ends the conversation abruptly and you hum contemplatively, lulling your head back a little to emphasise your sudden wave of fatigue. 

“i should get going now, let’s wash u-”

“going where?” your boyfriend questions, grabbing your hand for the comfort of holding it and as a way of telling you that he doesn’t want you to leave.

“home?”

he tugs on your wrist. “don’t go. you’re not busy tomorrow, are you?”

“i’m not.”

“perfect. you should the night.” you should stay forever, he wants to say. one day he will; reo’ll muster the courage to ask you to move in.

in faux hesitation, you hum, raising a hand to his cheek as reo leans in to your touch. “you’ll miss me otherwise, huh? fine. i will.”

the smile he beams rivals that of a thousand suns. you wonder how you managed to be with someone as loving and adoring as reo who is willing to love you and all of your flaws. even after such a long time together, that look of awe never faded whenever he looked at you.

“i need to take a shower. care to join?” reo asks, smirking at you whilst standing up to his full height. despite the lilt in his tone, it’s devoid of any lust or ulterior motive, extending the invite to you for another chance to be close and intimate like lovers are- something he seemingly can’t get enough of.

you roll your eyes, playing off his suaveness. “you’re awful.”

“only for you.”

“i’m okay,” you reject his offer, trying not to give in to your temptations. 

reo is insatiable though. “c’mon, are you sure? would be such a lovely way to end the day though, can’t you grant me that?”

as selfless as reo may be, he loves taking in return. as a business man, it’d only make sense that he’d make use of return investments. “you’ll live.”

“please?”

“fine.”

the shower doesn’t take long. you two do your night routines beside each other, reo drying your hair for you whilst gently combing through it, brushing your teeth together, and finishing with skincare. he’s close to you the whole time, bumping his hip with yours gently as he litters kisses all over your face, causing you to swat him away sometimes with a bright laugh. 

it’s with a six-foot athlete clinging to your waist that you climb into bed, diving under the covers with little hesitation. reo takes the initiative of shifting himself to lie half-atop you, pressing into you with a relieved sigh as he feels your hands run up and down his back. 

he feels okay again, now healed and rejuvenated once more.

reo’s too soft. he lets people in when he really shouldn’t, gets to know people too quickly, too superficially, that he never sees to far into their person before moving on. he has left trials of faces in his mind with no true attachment to any of them, none that he would make the effort to hangout with. he has been an empty void his whole life, moulding himself into versions that other people want to see.

addendum. he had been an empty void his whole life. 

but now that you’re here, he has a constant to dive in. you scold him for changing too much of himself to become your perfect lover. he didn’t need to swap the roses he orders every week to freshen up his dining room to be that of your favourite colour, he didn’t need to swap the candles, shampoos, conditioners- anything else of the sort, to match your favourite scent. he didn’t need to always wear his hair up because you said you liked it that way.

no, because you love reo for reo, regardless of the ‘influences’ you had on him. you love him because he’s a great conversationalist, he’s organised, driven to a healthy degree, selfless, will always hype you up especially when insecurities become unforgiving, pulling you from the depths of your mind the same way you do with him. 

all you’ve ever wanted from him was sweet nothing. 

reo’ll run to you every time, no matter what. if it’s been a shitty day and he just needs to hide from the world or the best day of his life, he’ll always come to you to make it a little better.

the theory still proves true now as he nestles himself into your embrace, breathing you in with each inhale- letting his senses memorise all of you that he can, that you’ll allow.

“i love you,” is the last thing he murmurs before letting consciousness slip away, surrounded with nothing but bliss and love to pull him away. he’ll dream of you. he’s sure of it.

you and your sweet nothings that highlight every loveable trait of his.

(you'll kiss the 'bad' ones with the same amount of love too.)

[lovebvni]

things to look forward to + ways to move forward!! <3

hello, lovelies!! i’m finally doing a pick-a-pile on this blog… after about half a year of being active

this pap will be answering 2 questions, but they have multiple parts. what’s coming in (from what i can see) and ways to get to it.

disclaimer: this pac isn’t legal advice or what you should do in your life. it is just based off your current energy. and that can change. purely for entertainment purposes.

now please, close your eyes and take a deep breath. wait until you see a swirl of colour to exhale. let your breath and spirit guide you to a pile.

piles 1 -> 2 -> 3

pile 1 — find it inside

hello, pile 1! here’s your reading :)

how close is your reward?

your reward is very close. 6 of pentacles coming out makes me have the vision on a banker grabbing their papers being put together before handing the recipient, you! maybe there’s like two more things you have to sign, or bring those documents to someone else, but at most im getting that there’s about 3 more steps left in the process? 4 at most. but seriously, you are close!

the papers can be to finally get your new business started… are you starting something like a business pile one? material wealth is coming through. the justice card comes to mind — perhaps in a legal argument with someone? i think this is the success about to come. or at least a satisfactory agreement.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

being too ambitious. you’re almost toooo focused and driven. are you cutting people off or isolating yourself from people and friends? honey you need a support group. it’s not always good to do things alone. you aren’t in a cage. your tunnel vision is too stuck on this goal you’re trying to reach. you need a breath of fresh air. just take a moment to relax and have a fun time. even students need a break from school, why do you think we have weekends? you’re wearing yourself out.

what do you need to accept?

finishing touches make everything look better. this is the final steps. just because i’m saying “oh you have abt 3 more steps” didn’t mean those are big steps. those are teeny steps. but material wealth(or a legal win) is coming either way, no matter what you change in the end. just trust the process.

a new focus & what to reject

stick to your plan! don’t back out of it last minute because you don’t like how it’s turning out. you need a BREAK! take a step back! but this doesn’t mean let everyone get into your business. keep it to yourself for now. it’s gonna work out, though!

thanks for reading, pile one! i hope this resonates, and i wish you the best!! now go have fun! stop working yourself overtime!

confirmation/additional signs: “don’t compare yourself to others”, don’t let others control you, have your own path and stick to it, “have some sort of tunnel vision”, the colour red, “girl trip!”, painting, “i need you to take a step back before i knock you on your fucking ass” — elita’s mentally not here, 555.

pile 2 — gift from the gods

hello, pile two! this is your reading!

first off, i’m doing this reading with my friend nile (nile says hi bc nile always says hi 💯) and they said they REALLY felt the need to touch on ur overall energy. so here’s what they said!

“With the number of face cards that are in this spread, and the general theme I thought about while pulling out the cards, it seems like pile 2 is the type to ask others for 2nd and 3rd opinions alot? I mainly thought about family members but it could easily be like, friends, classmates, school counselors/teachers, etc. Pile 2 maybe feels like they're conflicted because they're getting way different opinions on something (or maybe that's the normal dynamic) and they aren't sure which one is good advice and which one isn't”

don’t second guess urself 😡😡 ur intuition is always right!

how close is your reward?

this idea is brand new, isn’t it? some something you just decided to try, to dabble in. to dip your toes in, maybe as a distraction? i feel like this is something you decided to do on a whim, so maybe you’re not that far along with it. i mean you aren’t even in the pool yet… how can you start swimming? so, i would say about a 1-3 out of ten.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

wow, fear of some sort of older male figure. you may have an older sibling, nile got a brother or a cousin. they have divine masculine energy. they may or may not be a male, though. they may be someone who reaches out when they need something from you. you need to learn to start saying no to them. i also think that this could be where your double and triple checking could come in. are you someone who asks “should i do this for them?” and most of your friends say no, but you only need that one yes and you’ll take it? why would you do that to urself :( it’s so harmful to give away your energy without gaining.

nile also brought up inner voices, “inner voices that has that sort of vibe, but this is the energy of a young, mean-spirited, holier-than-thou, smart-ass that moreso likes to spout their own ideals than to actually consider what is pile 2's idea of a 'reward'” and you know what i say to this energy? SUCK ON MY DICK!

sorry. that was out of pocket. but tell them to get a life, and cut them off !!

what do you need to accept?

have u had a romantic offer? or do you think someone’s attracted to you? grab them 🤭 get ur man!! this person may also be an important friend. maybe friends w benefits? that was js a side thought. but focus on them, accept them into your life, and allow them to make your life better! i also get the feeling they could have darker hair (dirty blonde at the lightest)!! masculine energy btw!

i got the need to ask if yall r gay but 💀💀 ok girl u slay!! i’m gay too!! dw!! nblm here girly 🤞🫶‼️

a new focus & what to reject

an older, calm spirit. they could be a father or grandfather — but they could also be the person in the romantic offer trying to support you. they may advice you to focus on the here and now rather than the future or the past. stay grounded in your truth and your faith. spend some time in nature, too! you really just need a minute to take a break.

is there a person with extroverted, wild energy? they may be an energy vampire. they could be a friend of a friend, and they might spread rumors around a lot. but don’t waste too much time with them. they could make you physically sick.

that’s all i have for you, pile two! i hope your messages resonated!! have fun :)

confirmation/additional signs: “on those we call”, rapunzel’s healing song, past lives, ancestors guidance, black panther, a calming energy, (air or water sign?), the colour purple (movie + colour), issues being grounded (root chakra?), Oh No! by Marina, knowing what you want but not knowing how to get there, knowing why you make actions you don’t want to, beating yourself up, spiritually, 555.

pile 3 — black cat, do you belong?

hello pile 3!! this is ur reading :)

how close is your reward?

i also heard goal, by the way, so this may have been something you’ve been working to for a while. your card was knight of wands. homestretch, almost. i keep thinking of soccer/football. that may be something you’re into, but i’m gonna use sports references now.

this is the final quarter, not even. there’s 3 minute left in the game. you know you can win this! i feel like you’re almost too carefree in this moment though. i mean you have a carefree spirit, so that’s good! but you need more focus. overall, i would rate you the highest of any pile, a 9! at the least it’s a 9, at the most you’re literally on the last step.

what do you need to remove from your energy?

nile and i both thought it was weird/important that ace of wands came out. this is a card that obviously symbolizes new beginnings, and it’s probably the most creative card too. it shows swiftness and excitement in a challenge. you need to remove your carefreeness just for a moment to be able to grab the ace of wands from the hand of the universe. i feel like you’re being a bit lazy, so don’t! reignite your passion!

this is what nile said btw (it genuinely made me laugh 💀)

“pile 3 shouldn't just think about what they want - they should act on it! I really don't have much else to say, maybe pile 3's guides think that there's no other way to say it - it's a one way or the other type of thing, you do it or you don't - chop chop”

what do you need to accept?

5 of wands is usually about fights and rivalry, but in this context nile got sports, and i totally agree.

i mean, sports already came up in this pile for you guys already, so i feel like spirit is saying join a club or do something with other people!! stop isolating yourself! you need to do something competitive, primarily because you like fighting in a friendly way (maybe sometimes a violent way! anger issues).

if there isn’t a sport you can join, maybe because of finances or time issues, be competitive! race against yourself! do something that makes you feel good!

“if not sports, then something at the very least that gives pile 3 a sense of competition; something that makes them feel like they have to put their best foot forward to reap the best rewards! this isn't something that will wait for them if they do things half-a-step, every once in awhile kind of pace or attitude.”

in other words — DONT GO SLOW, GIRL! ACT LIKE ITS THE LAST THING U GET TO DO!! RUN!

a new focus & what to reject

focus on relationships. i want to say i get the feeling most of u guys are shifter and shifting for someone, but i could just be biased and projecting bc this like really resonates and resembles me in a lot of ways — and it’s scary!

anyways, there’s some romance in this pile. someone who has a calm spirit, maybe cold on the outside but warm on the inside. they may have been sending you signs that you haven’t been picking up much. or maybe you have been picking them up but you aren’t making an effort to reach out or you just forget easily. i totally get that, by the way, but try to put some time and focus into this romantic offer! even if it’s not in this reality, or in your mind (be delulu, and may it become trululu). nile also got this person may not want a romantic offer, but idk abt that one. getting a strong sense this is a romantic offer.

ok, sports coming through again! maybe you’ve been thinking about them a lot, but for some reason it’s in the context of something to reject. maybe this is a coach or a controlling person in a sporting way? maybe someone from your past? someone who thinks with his head, not his heart. they aren’t very emotional, and they could be cruel to you.

“maybe pile 3 is getting offers for more than one team/group? if that's the case, then I think pile 3's guides is saying to avoid the one(s) that have no-nonsense, frownie face leaders, the type of person to cut down any chances of fun and straight-up running things like a marine. whoever this is, they're way too tough on everyone else and they're allergic to fun, their authoritative stance prevents the teammates from develop a bond with each other, and this energy would probably damper pile 3's motivation.”

i’m gonna be so for real, pile 3, i had to hold off posting this pick-a-card because of yall — it’s not bad, by the way! it’s just that something that i need to say to you guys — its a personal message, i believe. i was talking to a friend, sigyn (love u girl, even if you don’t see this), and she made me think about my own journey with shifting and breaking out of a shell. i said these words: “but man, even tho i’m scared, i don’t care, because my happiness… no, im worth more than fear.”

i feel like this was what i was missing no matter what happens, no matter how scared you are of success or messing up, you are worth more than fear. it cannot hold you. and, as i said before, do it with fear. be like miles morales, jump off that roof fucking BACKWARDS. fear cannot control you, you control it. omg i’m about to cry, but you guys, fear is not all. i promise you this. if you need to talk about fear and how to get over it, send me an ask and i’ll dm you. this is not the end of this journey, nah man, this is the beginning of your life. i love you pile 3.

that’s all i got for you, pile three! wishing you the best, and i rlly hope your work pays off before the new year :) i know how hard it is to keep motivation, and keep moving after such a long time of hard work, but know it will all pay off in the end. nothing {bad} can last forever, as all things must come to an end.

confirmation/additional signs: football, hockey, sports in general, Doja Cat, fire truck (victim of sa), food, especially salads or greens, “almost there”, “i can’t give up now; i have to prove them wrong,” getting back what you lost, anger issues, self doubt, the colour blue (throat chakra?), 2020 music 💀💀 (my heart went oops by tiagz came on…! and so did savage by megan thee stallion), chaos, thriving in chaos, not from the us, barbie, sia, black and white, contrasting colours, i know better by noahfinnce — “and i won’t stop running until i hear the sirens coming…”, not stopping until you get to your goal, “i’m just ken” — ryan gosling, 69, miles morales, impulsive decisions, 555, 999, alien blues.

thank yall for reading my first pac on this blog !! it was really fun, and i hope to do it again soon <3

[mikerooksi]

vent/rant sorry hahagshja throws up and explodes

im a yapper

somwtimes I miss the people who did bad things to me and/or other people because sometimes I feel like they cared for me and/or talked with me more than the friends I have now

and I don't mean this in a way where I'm tryna make my friends rn look bad I love all of yall I really do and honestly it might js be the night time thoughts getting to my head but idk I've js thought abt people from my past for a while and like I try and make myself hate them but then I think abt like oh how I was actually friends with those people/person. like i actually had some. connection to them??

whether it was where we played games together or we just hung out at school or or whatever but I just think about the fact that I had fun with those people, that i felt comfortable with them sometimes. but then I also think about what they've done and I'm like 'damn do I really miss a person who's done all that to me/other people?? that's fucked up' but idk it's really hard to ACTUALLY hate someone I feel like but like IDK there's like multiple opinions rn in my head arguing with each other basically and it just makes me feel kinda weird and gross and 'wtf ur disgusting' ykwim

IDK IDK DUDE like likee I just remember they'd message me way more than my friends do rn but at the same time I think it was js bc like for AT LEAST one of them they were honestly jus tryna get me to be with them/play with them 24/7, which is actually one of the main problems I had with that person but at the same time I've thought abt it before and I'm like 'I wish I had someone like that so I can play with people more often' LIKE not in the way where I want someone who's a bad person but someone who wants me enough to be the like person to ask of they wanna play together but I think that's a me problem so idfk

actually all of this is kinda a me problem HELP dude I sound insane

i meam like back to that part where I mentioned how it's kinda hard to hate somebody even in my life like, right now, present time it's hard for me to really hate someone bc like. there's this person who's a dick ar my school but sometimes I see them laughing or hanging out with their friends and, ik they're a bad person and stuff but like seeing them have fun and still be like, human, makes it hard to really hate them ykwim? but it's not like I like them though. idk emotions are mad weird I don't even know if I'm making sense rn

i really just think it's the night time thoughts but idfk dude sometimes I wonder if I were able to go back and if I had just said nothing or whatever at the time would I have still decided to later on break off our friendship and stuff?? IDKK idk.

maybe I don't miss them like the actual person exactly but I miss the good moments? I think that's what I'm tryna say??? I'm not sure bro ☹️

anyways sorry for the wall of text 🧍‍♂️

[bookwyrminspiration]

ok so i was thinking abt what was like. off. to me abt stellarlune and i realized it kinda felt like a bad movie adaptation of a book? like it felt (to me) more like a list of plot points that she went through and checked off rather than the more natural flow that the other books had. im guessing this is bc a) she went to film school and b) she actually planned out the plot beforehand this time but thoughts?

Oh that's a interesting comparison proposition! I must admit I have seen few book adaptations so my sense of them isn't refined, but this is definitely a possibility.

Shannon has said that her film school background influences how she writes, but I hesitate to say it's the reason this book is off; she's been influenced by her film school background for the entire series, not just for Stellarlune. That's not something new, unlike this shift.

I think it's more likely that the different planning approach she used impacted the story, your B guess. The entire series prior has had a less concrete structure going in, so even if that's not to some people's taste it's at least consistent. Now with a more structured approach, even though plans can be helpful, it's at contrast with what we're used to--and what Shannon's used to writing, so it doesn't feel quite right.

It's also possible that the off feeling is part of the preparation for the final book(s). The story is coming to a close, and so how that's written and the approach needed may be different from what we've seen before. We're no longer leading up and hinting and leading up and asking questions, those hints needs to be tied together and those questions answered, which can impact the feeling of a story.

To me, Stellarlune feels like a set up for book 10. As though its not part of the story in its own right but making sure everything's in place--that going through the list and checking things off feeling you mentioned--as much as possible so the final book can do what it needs to.

To summarize, I think there's multiple reasons we can look to as explanation for the different feeling. Not that one of them is correct, but that they all intersect to create this bad movie adaptation-esque novel. She used a different writing approach, the series is starting to end, this book came out after a break and perhaps she's re-finding her writing voice still, etc. Those are just some thoughts, but I hope they satisfy your questioning! I'm always open to talking more :)

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

What happened in your personal experience with the big names in this fandom? Why do they hate you so much? I hope the witch hunt they put on you is over now. ❤️ sending you love and hugs 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🩷🩷🩷🩷

hi! honestly, i could name names, but honestly i am too old and too tired and these people aren't worth it. for half the things that went on, i'm not even certain as to why they happened? not really certain as to how it went from being one person convinced i have Wronged Them to an entire group of mean girls being rude and i THINK those events are connected. i thought it was really confusing, since i have been nothing but nice to them, and for one of them i actually thought were friends. i have my suspicions, but they aren't based on fact, just what was imo most likely to have occurred. just wanna say that these bitches can't even confront you abt anything, they can just look at you weirdly and ignore you if you ask to sit next to them like we're in middle school cafeteria :)))) after i've tried to be friendly and start conversation multiple times. experiences from the con

i don't think most of these people hate me, i think they don't care enough for that, but i think that when they see me in the wild i am a blemish that annoys them. some of them clearly care enough to send rude asks. since they ARE anonymous though, i can't tell for certain who it is, or if it's any of the big names. could be anyone.

mainly talking about like 3 big writers in the fandom and i will be vague on purpose lol but i'm sure they know who they are, and most ppl have an inkling. they haven't pissed me off enough to drag them on this platform lol i think they're just your garden variety petty bitches and i don't wanna dissuade people from reading their content if there are any impressionable youths reading this, you can have your own positive experience with someone who was a bitch to me.

i think some people have let their imagined internet fame get to their heads. i also think some of them are very much engrossed in that puritan internet culture of uwu this ship is Morally Wrong uwu. and they might genuinely feel like they are fighting for a Moral Cause by bashing me lol. kill the pedo amirite? to which i say please spend less time on the internet.

as for the witch hunt i think the big wave has passed. i will likely get an occasional mean comment, such as a lovely writer pettily dissing me in the tags and laughing with her lovely friend, but that just shows how immature these 20+ middle schoolers are. i will also probably get a new influx of hate for a new fic i'm writing, but we'll get to that in due time!

[roylustang]

how did i not know you lived in japan lol?? that’s so dope and tbh i’ve always thought abt doing a study abroad there since i took japanese classes 😅 i got held up pre covid cause my school required homestays with a program that felt super conservative…. anyway i’d love to know what your experiences as an english speaking person in japan have been like! esp if you can speak to the experience of being queer while navigating those identities

Boy how DID u not kno that I’ve been here for over a year and I talk about it all the time lmao. I also tried to study abroad here for a semester but didn’t get to bc of covid rip but it’s fine I’m here now 👌🏻

Since I live in the middle of nowhere pretty much no one speaks English. anytime I find someone that does speak decent English I’m like WHO R U but I speak bad intermediate Japanese so it’s p easy to get by. They always ask me if I have a point card at the grocery store (the grocery store in general is v overwhelming at first but it doesn’t actually take that long to get the hang of it tbh), they ask if I want a bag at family mart, I tell the gas people いっぱい/満タン　お願いします (they have full service gas stations which is wild) and then school is it’s own breed of language which I’m v good at understanding bc I’m around it every day obviously. I’ve also learned u really only need to know a few keywords when having a conversation u can figure out so much through context alone. Sometimes I only have to say like one word (like I said mikan zeri) and people know what I’m asking for (I knew the VP was saving my mikan jelly from lunch in the fridge for me bc I was working from home that day but it was Special Order and I wanted it). Sometimes (because there’s only 3 white people in this town) I don’t have to say anything at all I just show up at the doctors office say konnichiwa and they give me a cup to pee in bc I couldn’t do it six weeks earlier at my health check (bc period reasons). It’s kinda wild how u can communicate with people with just the bare minimum. I am known throughout the town as maddie-san or maddie-sensei if ur under 13 lol so when I sign in at the gym I only ever write my first name. The foreigners (all 5 of us) only ever write our first names at the gym bc no one else has a katakana name lol. It’s a bit strange bc since I’m white and I stick out everyone knows what my job is and what I do here but the people I actually talk to and stuff r v nice (old people r very nice and they LOVE to give u food esp mikans). Idk I could talk forever about this probably. It’s a lot different than living in a city where there are a lot more foreigners. Whenever I go to Kyoto and I see multiple white people im like omg white people 🤯 tbfh. I could talk about this forever lol

Also I don’t ever bring up being gay here. It doesn’t usually come up anyway and I think I’m on the aro/ace side of the spectrum anyway. But I do find it interesting the elementary and middle schoolers do get LGBT talks and speakers and whatever which is more than I could probably say for america. In general tho I’d say there’s definitely ignorance but they got the right spirit. This towns mostly old people tho so idk how the old people feel about it. Don’t b trans here (in japan in general) tho if u want to legally change ur gender u have to be sterilized which is super fucked up.

[troglobite]

alskjdf

just had a thought

in general i've only ever been rewarded socially for being biting and "mean" in order to be funny.

and that got to be too much and i felt TOO mean so i started pulling back

(i still do it if the person's not there and it's clearly a hyperbolic joke, bc it's still funny--and i'm careful to be targeting specific shitty things and not awful bigoted stereotypes, etc. like i might be comically mean but i'm not an asshole)

however what this has meant in practice is oddly like.

most people don't accept or reward or honor my sincerity? which is really frustrating.

and additionally, ppl seem to think that. if they're not sure of the tone or intention of something i said, they default to "beck is being condescending and mean to me" and like. what the fuck? why?

and i'm wondering if it has to do w ppl demanding and rewarding meanness from me, and then they just assume That's How I Am and it's like--i'm not?

the humor is the key part there. not the meanness. i've pulled back on the meanness. i say more NICE things abt my friends than i do mean things abt other ppl. and yet they still think i'm being shitty. idk.

brought to you by me remembering one time in my poetry class in grad school i wrote a scathing parody/critique/satire of a billy collins poem that i vehemently disagreed with and thought was incredibly pretentious

and everyone loved it. and then the (v accomplished and intelligent and capable and funny and many other great words) poetry prof later told me abt a separate poem i had written--one that was way too long, didn't have a solid poetic identity yet, and was abt my struggle w my relationship w my dad, my queerness/gender, and my mexican-american family and identity--that i should. write a similar parody/satire/critique poem. about my original draft.

and idk if he meant it that way or not but like--he basically told me to be scathingly biting and mean to myself about my own difficulties. and to make light of the things i was worried abt. bc that's what my parody/satire poem did.

like i wrote that mean poem because i hate billy collins' poem and thought he was WRONG. and we were SUPPOSED to write a poem in response to another one. and like. idk use literary devices in some particular way? idr.

and so in asking me to write a similar poem abt my very real and sensitive struggle w my identity and lived experience and feeling alienated in multiple directions, i was told to make light of and belittle that shit.

i've never known what to make of it, but remembering that is what sent me down this random thought spiral just now.

i have capacity for meanness. bc i was trained to have it as a defense mechanism growing up. i never bullied, my meanness was always in response to someone being shitty/bullying me, and it was basically only ever said in private, not AT someone. but being mean in a funny way also garnered me friends. until it didn't, i guess?

i just didn't like it and i outgrew it as a necessary coping/survival skill. so i shifted. and i THOUGHT i had shifted quite a lot over the years.

and yet ppl still automatically assume i'm being selfish, condescending, complaining abt them inconveniencing me, criticizing them, etc. even with NEUTRAL statements or questions.

and like on some level i guess that's their own problem, bc in at least some cases w some ppl, that's their own insecurity and presumably it has nothing to do w me, specifically, it's just that i'm the one who happened to say a thing and they took it whatever way bc that's their insecurity or issue or whatever.

but it does fucking suck and make me feel fucking AWFUL and question whether i'm a terrible person.

it's insane-making to say a neutral thing or ask a neutral question and have someone respond like you just insulted them and asked them to kill themselves in front of you. like, maybe i DID mean that horrible thing they read into it? am i being awful and cruel and i'm just not aware of it??? idfk man. surely their reading of it isn't BASELESS? could it be?

idk man it's like being gaslit all the time.

i've already been gaslit so i have trouble believing my own understanding of myself, and this continuing to happen just makes me less and less certain.

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

yeah sure every q for the ask game for mr. abel unless u like hate a q then u can skip but. and you know what !!!! 👀 and 💌 for vicky !!!!!! thats right so many q's

every day when i rb an ask game zee sees if he can send me as of them as possible bc its his love language 💖

link back to the ask game bc i have other ocs to aske about if anyone wishes

going under a readmore immediately bc wow. so many qs.

for abel:

🥵 : Is your OC perceived as physically attractive to others? Is it at first glance or is it something that takes more time to reach fruition?

I think abel is definitely physically attractive to others! he has a very 'aged like a fine wine' type of look that i swear isnt just my own biases i swear i swear . i really do think he would 100% be flirted with by like . everyone. but especially men. i think its first glance also BTW, maybe taking more time for people who arent into how big or hairy he is? but those are cowards. 💦 : Is your OC’s attractiveness based on looks or a more intangible aura?

looks. but also abel has a very charismatic aura to him as well! he speaks very casually or more formally depending on the people he talks to and finds it easy to figure out how to push the right buttons in a conversation to make someone like him so its just like alot. 💪 : What is your OC’s most physically attractive attribute? 

face for sure, hes got the beard and a bit of a smoldering look to him that makes him even hotter when he takes off his glasses, plus if he dresses up he looks VERY nice and his body in general IMO is quite nice. 🧠 : What is your OC’s most mentally attractive attribute?

like i said before he has a charisma to him that makes him very attractive and just nice to in general but he also is veryyy intellectual! being a nurse and all. he did very well in school and i think people could be into how he can rattle off obscure medical terms. 👀 : Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage?

very interesting question actually bc ive never thought abt this hmmmm.... i think he does ? but only because people have told him, i think otheerwise its not like he wouldnt like how he looks or anyhing he just would be very neutral on it. suffice it to say he doesnt use his appearance at all. 👃 : Does your OC smell good? Do they have a signature scent?

i think he would! hes very well groomed and probably often takes showers and probably wears cologne to dates. probably smells a bit woody but with some notes of fruit and like . other smels... probably also has like a slight scent of like blood and stuff since he works at a hospital and which like is worse after he gets home from work but THATS what COLOGNE is for BABEYYY 👂 : Does your OC have an attractive voice?

yes. abel has a deeper voice than vicky IMO its very chill and calming. the only turn off would possibly be that it is very american. vicky winces sometimes at abels accent but hes like whatever .... ill accept it bc ur voice is hot on is own. but yeah guy who could put u to sleep but also? 😳 🚲 : Does your OC enjoy playing the field? Or are they more monogamy-minded?

i think mainly he is much more monogamy minded but knows that its mainly due to pressure from his parents to like settle down and find one person (who he COULD have had kids with if he were straight, they are upset abt possibly no grandkids but he doesnt have to worry abt that anymore <3) but i do think that in his younger years he played around with multiple guys and if it werent for vicky being extremely monogamous, he might in his older years as well 😍 : What does your OC find irresistible in others?

good anatomy /gen. his ideal partner looks like a scientific model in his textbook with visible musculature, this is why hes particularly into mr skin slight muscle and bones vicky. he also likes it when his partner can get him out of his head, bringing him out of his worries or obsessive thinking in general is like a #1 requirement for being anything long term with him 💘 : Is your OC a very good flirt? Are they charming?

YES!! as said before hes very good at the game of conversating but i think in general hes very good at complimenting someone and getting them flushed with double entendres, abel isnt afraid to be crass in a flirtatious way and that definitely gets alot of people on board with Doing Stuff with him. however. sometimes he can be so smooth that it can pass over peoples heads. (vicky) 💋 : Is your OC a good kisser? How do they do it?

actually, i think not really! i know ive been saying abel is great at EVERYTHING romance here but i do think this is where hes lacking a bit! he doesnt have many skills with his tongue despite how often he kisses lads... he just needs more practice ig :/ 🦴 : Does your OC have much sexual experience? What are they like?

yes! well he does with men, i dont think abel has actually ever had any kind of experience with women, kind of knew since he was a kid what he liked and everything. in bed he tends to be much more submissive, preferring to focus on making sure his partners are comfortable and feeling good, though hes not afraid to be more forceful if he really wants something. also as far as top vs bottom. hes a switch so. 💞 : Do they treat sex casually or do they view it as something with a lot of emotional weight?

depends on the partner honestly, i think most of the time with casual partners ofc obvs he treats it much more casually, but with more serious partners it typically carries more weight as hes not afraid to be much more vulnerable with them. but i think that he doesnt prefer one way or the other, he enjoys casual hookups as much as he does more emotional and vulnerable intimate nights with his boyfriends. 🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?

probably being very blunt and crass. like not even flirting just like just . you know, just completely no smoothness nothing just going right for the throat metaphorically and maybe literally (like no teasing no nothing just outright desire). it really trips up his game and makes him not really able to counter in a way thats productive and leaves him just kinda like ummmm o/////o... 🧸 : Into public displays of affection or are they more reserved?

oh abel LOVES pda. he loves kissing and holding hands and being sickly sweet in public. he also apparently after taking a look at his nsfw preferences page on toyhouse enjoys other stuff publically as well. so yeah. not reserved in the slightest. 💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

oh he plans this shit way in advance and has probably several little romantic ideas lined up when he dates someone. sometimes its because he wants to do them and sometimes its bc his partner has mentioned them wanting to do something and so he takes it into account for a future romantic evening. however, this isnt to say he like suprises them or anything, he typically discusses it with them quite a bit in advance before they do anything 💐 : What is their courting style? How would they woo someone?

mostly flirting and doing extreme calculations to see if the person is returning any kind of response even if unconscious. outside of that he does not do anything <3 moreso if they give him no real response to any flirting. however if they do he just dials up the meter and will maybe even invite them over!! 👙 : What kind of underwear do they use? Is it pretty or functional?

Abel wears tighty whiteys, briefs that keep everything in nicely, much more functional than it is pretty but he does make sure not to mess them up or anything and to replace them if theyre looking a little worn. hes a bit vain in that way lol

for vicky:

👀 : Does your OC believe they are attractive? Do they use that to their advantage?

i dont think vicky thinks hes attractive deep down but boys got issues so you know hes deeply projecting that he thinks hes soooo hot and awesome and epic. he'd be so embarrassed if people made fuckin . fancams of him (in a modern au) but he'd play it off like ahhh of course smile, im so hot ofc people want me. also he does use this swagger tthat he projects to his advantage, especially if he detects that a girl is into him (unfortunately this ONLY will happen if its a woman bc if a man is into him at all he will just melt into a puddle)

💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

see. i dont . think he would. bc i think fundamentally vicky is a bit nervous to fuck everything up. see but thats only with people he really cares about. this is probably how you can tell youre more of a casual hookup with vicky honestly is that he doesnt worry and actually tries to do a romantic evening with you instead of just being sooooo nervous that hes gonna mess smth up and make u hate him forever. anyway real answer for people he doesnt care about and plans these things for: he will make sure its a nice suprise and try to do the most stereotypically romantic things imaginable. heart shaped stuff, things in red, rose petals, etc, the type of stuff that only would really happen or be used in valentines day commercials and romance movies. bc thats what he thinks a romantic evening is :) <- guy who has never had a genuine connection bc he has . been going out w women performatively his whole life.

[shadeslayer]

@wigwamcore said: Oh goddddd. It really depends for me on who is doing them and what’s the context. I’ve swung back and forth over the years from when they were rare in the US and it was like fuck yes acknowledge us! And then they got institutional and it was like ok ur just saying shit, but now people are talking more about them being bad and while I soooo get it from an ndn perspective I’m worried white ppl will just stop doing ANYTHING rather than actually pivoting to real action

YEAH its definitely something where my feelings on it have shifted a lot over time, i remember when they first became a thing at all and i was like huh thats a really cool thing and then seeing how it became another way to just say words and then do nothing in actuality with that and now that theyre being criticized more and i dont like them really but also they are.. Something. even if its a small something

@mathosapa said: seconding wigwamcore, like sometimes using them for the most random shit feels weird (ive seen them done at bar events which is a weird vibe) but i think it’s worth it in more academic settings or poc focused spaces. what i like is when instead of saying “hello (city) we are on the land of (tribe)” just introducing it as “we are in (ndn place name) unceded land of (tribe), known also as (city)” the other thing is tho so many white dominated spaces start looking for any random ndn to do land acknowledgments, when i was in high school the school district made me come in to do a land acknowledgment for them, even tho i told them i wasnt from here, and im only here bc of the relocation program. and at my last job we constantly had people asking for random employees to come do land acknowledgments for them. they thought we were rent-a-ndn or something and not a social service provider sorry to add another comment but i also find it worrying to see so many white people now making jokes about land acknowledgements and its like the joke to talk about it almost

ok thats like so wild to see it at bar events, in my memory ive only encountered them irl (1) in oklahoma at the conference about repatriation legislation, (2) in a syllabus or two of mine in NAS classes taught by native teachers, so while i didnt really get it personally i liked that they did it bc it was important to them and it makes sense with the class context too, (3) in illinois at an art performance night themed around roots/land/ancestry. so even while the IL one i found a bit eye-rolling in how it was done, its definitely an event that sort of calls for something like that. academic spaces as a whole is interesting to bring up bc i think its an important place to talk abt that stuff, it also dredges up how often in academia ive felt that theres a lot of praising of decolonialism as an idea but only when it stays in its lane and no one ever tries to apply decolonial ideas/perspective/approach to anything not explicitly about nativeness (bc when ive tried to do that in multiple philosophy classes, ive gotten pretty soundly shut down no matter how nice the professor was). academia really frustrates me with its love of saying a lot of nice words about progressiveness and then pretty soundly making sure theres no room for you and that you have to fight tooth and nail for all your breathing room if you want to challenge its colonial imperial foundations

ooo yes though, i definitely prefer the second style of doing it. they are definitely something that depends So much on the minutia of how its done and by who, which is why it gives me such mixed feelings.

that is so utterly fucked that people were trying to use you as a fuckin rent-a-ndn. ive never encountered that before personally since OK never really did them/if they did, there were much more popular and involved ppl to ask than me, but now im in IL which is more into them + i really dont see many ntvs around, and if i start doing more academic work and work with the art and cultural orgs i have my eye on, i wonder if ill end up like that. it must be such a bitch bc i know if that happens to me itll be like. well i dont really *like* land acknowledgements & i dont want to encourage this tokenization so i want to say no, but if theyre done i want them to be done *right* so i would probably say yes in the end :(

YEAH OK REALLL THOUGH. YEAH. like i thought of it too with what wigwamcore said, but its just. ugh. theres this element to being native (and im sure other poc feel it too w their cultures, and it happens w marginalized ppl in general but i digress) where our internal arguments over things become like. public spectacle. and not even in a way where people know theres a big argument about it and theres different sides, but that they see a ntv or two post something about the situation and then go "ok thats the true fact of the situation and now i know that i completely understand this and can speak on it and can start fights with people to fight for this perspective ^_^" and its like. fuck off lol? like these discussions are not for white people but bc they involve things that happen in 'mixed company' as it were white people are aware of the fringes of it and then get all on their high horses about it. and its just. angering but also, idk, heartbreaking? it hurts that you cant just disagree about and talk abt this stuff without having to be aware of all these eyes on you that are going to assume so much and take so much and you have to watch yourself and watch everything you do and say so intensely for fear someone Completely Fucking Uninvolved will take it as something else

like just. UGH! like the woman i met who did the acknowledgement wasnt native but she was an immigrant whos very involved one of the only local native orgs which is itself native run and she talked abt being taught by native elders and while that itself can be a suspect phrase im taking her on good faith with it - and it just kind of hurts. that i disagree with how it was done but she learned from ppl who are native so i dont want to embroil her in this disagreement bc its a disagreement between me and those teachers she had about internal community stuff. and its so frustrating bc outsiders want to just know what the "right answer" is but there is no right answer, its an ongoing exploration, and theres no way to be involved that wont give mixed messages bc we dont even know where we stand with it and everyone has their own opinion and some ppl get that but a lot of people Dont

and then you get white people thinking theyre being great allies and super helpful by making jokes abt our internal politics that from us would be amusing but from them just end up being straight up racist . -_-

but this is great bc this is very much how i feel on it - mixed feelings changed over time with the political landscape, and from my exp of not having dealt w them much i prefer not having them but i also understand why theyre important to people and i do Not like the cavalier attitude not ntvs have started taking against them bc its not their fucking place to talk like that abt smth that oftentimes is being done by or was implemented by natives

ive seen arguments for and against them so im curious what the vibe is for yall bc i know My thoughts but im curious what mutuals/followers think. feel free to reply/inbox me further thoughts. no neutral option i want the bitchy opinion u have in ur heart of hearts

[greaterspawnislands]

(This is the separate ask I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on how other stream sub groups operate differently it's just so fascinating to me)

YEAH!!! Also it's so very cute to me how supportive and patient he was with Kristen when she was first considering streaming <333

At first she just kinda popped into chat and on stream rarely and he never forced her to stay if she didn't. Over time she just got used to and wanted to interact with chat more! Until she started streaming herself and he's been 100% supportive the entire time. Literal A+ husband material you can tell how much he loves her and its so sweet,,,,

YEAH ok so about the kristin thing at first so recently i've been watching all of phil's s4 videos and i'm getting to the end of 2019 aka they're preparing for their wedding and phil's in the process of getting a visa and it's so :))

i currently have two kristin stream vods in my watch later (bc i've been busy) and im so excited to get to themm it's been awesome to see kristin get more confident in streaming bc she is so funny!! i really love tuning into her streams they are such nice spaces :) also i miss parents sdv i hope they play again

ANYWAYS ok so my ramblings about phil's community is just. hold on i need to put this under cut because the more i write out the more it feels like inane bullshit but whatever we're here now

i feel like out of all of the streamers who have grown their communities in the boom of 2020/dsmp era phil's has been the most interesting to me. obviously biased here bc this is my community but ok. I'm not going to say that phil's fanbase is "the best" because that's obviously a subjective take but i think part of what makes it stand out to me is that it skews significantly older than any of the other streamers fanbases. routinely, we've heard from donos that there are teachers or people with full jobs who are donating to phil's streams. now, obviously we've heard plenty from high school age and younger, but for the most part those people tend to be sbi fans, or crimeboys fans who also enjoy phil - totally valid, etc, but they're not who i'm talking about.

the people who main phil tend to be older, which shapes a pretty different community that has a much less active presence on places like twitter. Those who are on twitter tend to not have nearly as much of a drive for clout as other subtwts - obviously there are exceptions, there always are, im trying not to speak as a total generalization - but i can't think of too many c!phil mains with thousands upon thousands of followers compared to other subtwts. And i think that again mostly comes down to like . it's just an older fanbase so they don't care abt that stuff as much.

oh and also! early gang as a central hub for most people who main phil i think helps a lot because, similar to tumblr, no character limit directly correlates to like. more critical thinking being used and less automatic aggression towards other people in the way twitter pushes to the forefront of every interaction. so as a whole the community comes across as far more chill than other subtwts/etc bc they aren't using twitter as their primary hub of communication

but i also think phil has had a direct impact on how his fans act on twitter regardless of age. the example that immediately comes to mind is when uh. ok. so idk if u were on twitter at all circa late 2020-early 2021, but subtwt selfie days were Alllll the rage back then, there was basically one or multiple every single day of the month for various ccs and duos/groups/etc. and i remember when it started popping off, phil got asked about it on stream and he very seriously talked about how he wasn't comfortable having a selfie day tagged after him, because he didn't like the fact that so many people, many who were high school age/teenagers, were putting their face on the internet for literally anyone to look at. i think he was the only cc who really spoke out about the ramifications of having your face online like that, and i know for me it was the first time i took a step back and went "yeah wait this is kind of fucking weird". it obviously didn't stop the selfie days for any other ccs, or the sbi selfie day, but his fans listened, and there was no phil selfie day ever again, and i think it's that kind of communication between phil and his audience that sort of helped develop his community in that direction, being mindful of internet bullshit and all that jazz. it's that kind of way he looks out for fans and the like that makes me really appreciate him and his community all the more. i just really like telling that bit of his history bc it was important to me in that time

again i don't know if this makes . too much sense. i sort of just started rambling and didn't stop to think if i was making any real points. this is all just to say that i love early gang, love philza, loveposting hours are so real i love this old man

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[s-serendipit-y]

fake dating: hajime hinata

requested by anonymous: hey could i req prompt 1 w/ hajime? maybe his family or his classmates are pestering him abt going on a date and keep trying to set him up so he asks s/o to help him out and pretend to date him! with some fluffy bits where they have to pretend to do coupley stuff as well but secretly enjoy it (if u can add that in ^^)

warnings: non-despair

note: i’m currently sitting at the dentist to get my braces tightened so i really hope this has no errors :)

“i need to ask you for a favor.”

“what’s up?”

“i need you to pretend to date me.”

hajime was surprised he even talked himself into asking such a outlandish question in the first place. he’s pretty sure you would say no and he couldn’t blame you, who would want to fake date anyone? especially him.

“i’m sorry?”

“you know, romantically.”

“i know what dating means, but why? is someone bothering you.”

more like multiple people, even though hajime was in the reserve course his friends who were ultimates constantly picked on him about going on dates and even tried to set him up with some of their classmates, which he didn’t appreciate.

“it’s my- i mean our friends,” he begins, “they’re constantly on my about going on dates, it’s starting to get annoying.”

“even if i decide to do this,” you point between the both of you, “aren’t we gonna need some story? they all know us really well not just anything is gonna work.”

hajime brings his fist up to his chin in thought, you were right. they know both of you really well so you can’t just walk in saying that you two were dating out of the blue. they would see right through it.

“we can say we got together during the weekend, it’s credible.”

“okay i guess… but who asked out who?”

“oh yeah,” hajime pulls a envelope out his back pocket, i already wrote a confession letter,”

as he handed you the letter his entire face was red, even if the letter meant nothing his still felt a bit insecure about what he wrote. would it be good enough?

what is he thinking? it doesn’t matter how good it is, all that matters is if it’s convincing.

“you must have been pretty confident that i would say yes,” you tease, putting the letter in your bag, “sure i’ll help you hajime. so i’m guessing we start monday?”

he nods, “meet me outside of school in the morning. okay?”

“okay,”

-

when you got home you immediately went to your room opening the letter that hajime had given to you to make your “relationship” more believable. you wonder if he had help from the ultimate writer or if he just wrote it himself, you’re pretty sure as soon as you read it you can tell.

dear s/o,

i can’t see you as a friend anymore, my feelings for you have grown past platonic and all i want is for you to be with me romantically. i know that i’m not the best a writing since i possess no type of talent of my own but i still hope that this letter reflects how i truly feel about you.

this letter felt… so real. like ever word he wrote he actually meant it. not just for some show, but you knew that wasn’t the case, you can’t let any of this get to your head since it was fake. even so, it didn’t stop you from re-reading the letter for the rest of the night.

hajime’s nerves were at an all time high since you agreed to his plan, he fiddled with his uniform.

“hey sorry i’m late.”

hajime let out a breath, relived that you didn’t decide to back out last second.

“are you ready?”

he nod at your question. walking towards the fountain where he usually sits. you reach over grabbing his hand pulling him to walk closer to you.

“what are you doing?” he asks face turning red

“well if we want it to look believable we should start now.”

hajime says nothing looking off to the side, even if it was his idea it still was embarrassing to do this. especially with everyone staring at the both of you since you had on the traditional uniform unlike his.

“hey chiaki,” hajime greets when you both approached to fountain.

“hajime-“ chiaki looks at your hands then you, “and s/o? are you two-“

you nod, “yeah it happened over the weekend but no one knows yet.”

she smiles looking back down at her game, “i’m happy for you two, i knew you would find someone eventually hajime.”

before either of you could respond the bell rings, you let go of hajime’s hand, “meet here after classes?” you ask. he nods.

hajime hesitates momentarily before leaning to press a light kiss to your cheek, his entire face turned red as he rushed off to the reserve course building.

“he really likes you,” chiaki tells you walking in sync with you. “yeah…” you mutter.

the word about you and hajime traveled fast, you didn’t know if you should blame chiaki or other student who saw you but if didn’t matter at this moment. everyone knew, including the people you two were trying to convince, which was the plan in the first place.

none of them seemed to see through this facade of a relationship which was good for you, if they were to question anything what would you say? it was hajime’s idea in the first place and he wasn’t here right now.

when lunch arrived all of your friends followed you to the fountain, they claimed it was to congratulate hajime on finally getting with someone but you wasn’t sure about their true intentions.

you sat next to hajime resting your hand on top of his as everyone else surrounded you, the silence filled with their praises and compliments as you sat in silence eating your food.

“so how did you two get together in the first place?” ibuki asks adoration filling her eyes.

“uhh-“

“he wrote me a letter,” you say cutting of hajime, “it was really sweet and i couldn’t say anything else but yes.”

you lace your fingers with his, “over the weekend we had out first date at the movies, it was really nice.”

of course that wasn’t true, you hadn’t seen hajime since the last time you were at school but they couldn’t prove that.

“you guys are so cute!” ibuki exclaims, “i hope i can be like the two of you one day.”

you both smile.

after a few more compliments from your class they all dispersed to leave “the lovely couple alone.” even after they left you and hajime continued to hold hands.

“well it looks like they are convinced,” you begin.

“yeah, they shouldn’t bother me about dating anymore.”

hajime goes to pull his hand away from your but you tighten your grip. “but, we should at least do this for one more day, then after that we can lie saying we just don’t like pda. then after a week we can say we broke up.”

hajime didn’t know why but the sound of breaking up with you made him frown.

“are you sure you’re okay with that?” he asks concerned.

you look at him, “you’re my friend hajime, and i only want what’s best for you.”

this time you let go of his hand standing up to go back to class.

the next day went the same as the last, you and hajime held hands before class, he kissed your cheek before you two split up, you would meet back up at lunch, then you two would walk home together.

the days after that you two continued to spend time together but dialed down the affection, you two want this fake break up to go as smoothly as possible so your friends didn’t get suspicious.

but that right now was the least of your concerns, throughout the night you would think about how you and hajime acted, how warm his hand was in your or even how his lips felt against your cheek. sometimes when you couldn’t sleep you would re-read the letter he wrote to you

you knew you shouldn’t think like this, he was your friend nothing more, and you two would be breaking up soon and going back to normal. you can’t let yourself get hurt over a fake break up to a fake relationship.

when you go to school the next day you felt sick, today was the day you and hajime were supposed to end the relationship for good and go back to being friends, even thought that how it was since the beginning.

you didn’t want it to end, even if the relationship was fake, your feelings were real and you could only hope hajime felt the same. just like every morning you two met in front of school, hajime had a sad look on his face but it quickly vanished when you came into sight.

“so should we do thin in front of our friends or in private,” hajime asks.

“actually about that hajime,” you give him a hopeful look, “didnt this feel real to you, like we weren’t faking?”

he furrows his brows, “what do you mean?”

you sigh, “it’s just that, i don’t want this to end, and during our pretending i grew real feelings for you hajime.”

his eyes widened, “you did? even though i’m just a reserve course student?”

“that’s never mattered to me, even before any of this. your having all the talents in the world or none at all wouldn’t change my feeling towards you.”

“s/o i-“

“i know,” you cut him off, “you don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. that’s why we did this, but it wouldn’t feel right if i never told you how i felt.”

“wait! be quiet for one second!” he says. “i do feel the same, and actually i’ve always had feelings for you s/o. that letter i gave you was real, i just played it off to go with our story.”

you rest your hand in his shoulder, “i loved the letter, i read it multiple times.”

hajime blushes, “i’m glad you liked it, it took me forever to find the right words to write.”

“so does that means we’re official?” you ask.

“let me take you on a really date. tonight. is that okay?”

you smile sheepishly, “it’s more than okay hajime.”

[handsmotif]

The Queercoding of Pinky and the Brain

This originally was just me infodumping to my friends on discord, but I decided it might be interesting to some people on here, so I polished it up and made it an actual essay lmao

To start, we’re going to break this into 2 sections -- the relationship between the mice, and Pinky’s relationship with gender, because queercoding doesn’t just mean gay!

For a 90′s show, Pinky and the Brain (and its mother show, Animaniacs) was very progressive for its time! But there were still lots of things that they couldn’t slip by censors, and thus, that’s where we have to read between the lines. And that is something I wanted to clarify here before we dive in, the actual meaning of queercoding. It’s NOT the same as queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when the people producing certain media purposefully dangle the possibility of queer representation to lure in audiences (most prominent examples are BBC Sherlock, Riverdale, and Supernatural I GUESS? who knows abt that last one anymore), but never follow through, purely for profit. Queercoding is when media producers WANT to write in queer representation, but can’t, usually because the censors won’t let them. So, they must resort to subtext. (example: the policemen from Gravity Falls) It could also be unintentional, simply assigning certain characteristics associated with the LGBT community to characters. (example: Bugs Bunny, many Disney villains) Either way, it heavily relies on the audience picking up subtext, but whether it’s malicious or not varies, depending on the media. Bugs Bunny is an example of positive accidental queercoding, while a lot of Disney villains are negative examples.

Now, to actually discuss the gay little mice! Pinky and the Brain, whether it be intentional or not (based off comments from Maurice LaMarche, Rob Paulsen, and Tom Ruegger, signs strongly point to intentional, but it’s never been explicitly confirmed), is an example of positive queercoding.

There are many moments that I could pick out to discuss here, but we’ll start with some VERY on the nose gay metaphors. 

Remember Romy? If you don’t, that’s their actual biological son! Romy came about due to a cloning accident, where their DNA got combined and spat him out. 

There’s SO many things I could say about Romy. Every appearance he makes has an overarching gay metaphor as the plot. His first appearance in the episode Brinky (yeah it’s literally titled their ship name), it deals with his dads (WHICH I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT, he DOES call them both dad, and they do both call him their son) disapproving of the fact that he wants to leave home and not follow in their footsteps of taking over the world. Brain even goes as far as disowning him whenever he tells him, which is certainly something a lot of queer people can unfortunately relate to. Also seen a lot in this episode is Pinky and Brain arguing even more than a married couple than usual, which pushes Romy away even further. Later, when Romy eventually does leave, and Brain starts to regret chasing him away, he tries desperately to reach out to him, but Romy doesn’t want anything to do with him. They end up tracking him down to an apartment building, where Romy is now living with his human girlfriend. When questioned about their relationship, the girlfriend, named Bunny, goes off on a tangent about how people shouldn’t judge others based on labels or relationships (hello?), and that Brain needs to be more tolerant. Brain apologizes and Romy forgives him. Happy ending.

Romy’s only other appearance is in the comics. Essentially, the plot of this one is that Brain wants to become the president of the local high school’s PTA, but he needs Romy’s help to make it look like he has a normal home life. He also enlists the help of Billie, the obligatory Woman introduced to make sure Brain doesn’t look as gay as he actually is, that he has a crush on. She pretends to be his girlfriend, and Pinky pretends to be Romy’s uncle, while they make up the story that Romy’s actual mother was lost at sea. Because if the organization found out that Brain has a son with a MAN??? THINK of the controversy! Anyway, the plan works, and Brain actually manages to get elected as president. Throughout this though, Pinky gets WEIRDLY jealous that Brain keeps brushing him aside for Billie. To the point where during Brain’s inauguration, Pinky actually dresses up as the wife/mother lost at sea and storms into the room.

[ID: Comic panels of Pinky, Brain, and Romy on stage at the inauguration ceremony. Pinky busts into room wearing drag, saying, “Yoo hoo! I’m back from years lost at sea to be with my son and ungrateful husband! Narf!” He then hugs Romy, while glaring at Brain. He goes on to say, “I’ll stand by your side, even though you left me behind!” The people in the audience begin to question this, saying, “Oh great fuzzy bangs!”, “What’d she say?!”, “He deserted her to be with that other woman!”, “What kind of monster is he?!”. Brain then rips off Pinky’s wig and says, “This isn’t my wife! This isn’t even a woman! It’s my roommate, Pinky.” Pinky replies, “Well, yes... But Romy really is my son! Poit!” And Brain responds, “N-Nonsense! He’s my son!” More people in the audience angrily speak up, saying, “What’s that?”, “He lives with a guy who likes to dress up in women’s clothing and the both claim to be that kid’s father!”, “Grumble! Mutter!” /END ID]

Needless to say, this doesn’t end well for them. What we can conclude from this is that homophobia exists in the Pinky and the Brain universe, and our characters are directly affected by it.

Moving on, And-There-Was-Only-One-Bed is a pretty common occurrence with these two. Their cage is big, they have plenty of room for two beds, but? They choose to sleep together? Even in some times where this has been inconsistent and they DO have separate beds, they’re always RIGHT next to each other. (what if we put our minecraft beds together ❤😳)

I would like to mention the episode, You’ll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town Again! This episode is interesting to say the least. Deals with a lot of the meta of the show. Anyway. In this episode, Brain has a nightmare that he’s in a loveless marriage with Billie. You know, the woman he’s supposed to have a crush on. In the end, he wakes up from the nightmare in the same bed as Pinky.

Speaking of female love interests, Pinky is seen having multiple relationships with characters of different species. Any time this is brought up by Brain, Pinky counters with Brain being too intolerant. An honorable mention with this is in Wakko’s Wish, when Pinky is with Pharfignewton, and Brain’s constant pestering about their relationship could be read as jealousy. Pinky needs a mousy date, after all!

Something else I would like to mention is in one episode (I forget what it’s called, I’ll try to look it up later and edit this), Brain is applying for a job. The employer asks Brain if he’s married, and Brain hesitates before saying he “has a roommate,” but that he’s occupied with his own things, which then cuts to a shot of Pinky applying lipstick.

Leading into part two of this essay, Pinky’s relationship with gender! Pinky has always been very gender nonconforming, and loves to wear dresses, do his makeup, and make himself look pretty. For the most part, this is played pretty straight, and not as a gag, like a lot of shows tend to do! It’s just a casual fact about him that he likes to present femininely sometimes.

This does play into their taking over the world plans pretty often, where Pinky wears drag, usually either to sneak into somewhere. Like in one of their earliest appearances on Animaniacs, Noah’s Lark, where they pose as a couple to board Noah’s, and I quote, “love boat.” After boarding, Noah says to himself, “Who am I to judge?” Okay. Yeah. Alright. Anyway.

I actually had less to say on this than I thought I did, but I wanted to make sure to emphasize that Pinky at the very least is coded as being Not Quite Cis, and that he’s played a key part in helping a lot of people watching the show figure out that they’re also Not Quite Cis. 

Wrapping this up because I’m hungry, but I want to throw in some more honorable mentions that I really do not see any type of cishet explanations for:

They literally go on a romantic date at a very fancy restaurant in Brain’s Night Off. This is played extremely casually, and the only remark from anyone that they receive is that they are “much smaller than the usual clients.”

Pinky, on at least one occasion, daydreams about him and Brain being a married couple, and wanting to be a housewife (the original malewife ❤)

There’s an issue in the comics where Pinky has a crush on another male mouse, and when Brain gets annoyed, Pinky reassures him that he thinks Brain is cute and quite the catch too

Brain attempting to kiss Pinky in the reboot??????

Brain actually did conquer the world once in the Halloween special, because Pinky made a deal with the devil for it, and thus Pinky got sent to hell! Brain actually went to hell and gave up the world to bring him back

Brain was extremely close to conquering the world once more in the Christmas special, but after reading what Pinky’s feelings for him were (nothing romantic, just Pinky basically just praising Brain for being so hardworking and an amazing mouse, and lamenting that he never gets anything for it), he gets so emotional that he sabotages himself and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas instead

TLDR; these mice are very queer and need therapy, and are probably the most heavily queercoded characters that I can think of in children’s media.

[forever-rogue]

Alright alright ty for responding! I’m super hyped abt this one hehe but here I go:

This is for Frankie Morales, who I love so freaking much ☺️

Okay okay here: A high school reunion where Frankie and Reader meet again after 10 years.

They had such a huge crush on one another and reader was ‘popular’ while Frankie was just shy/nerdy. Maybe they dated but had to separate while they were in college because of the distance but they still have feelings after all these years?

Also reader has learned that Frankie has a kid but didn’t know that his wife divorced him so she’s kind of upset until Frankie tells her (assuming she runs off or something?).

Eventually they start again in their relationship and it’s a fluffy and cute!

I love angst and fluff so since you like writing about those I thought you would be a great person to ask hehe. Anyways I love your works so much and thanks in advance if you write this! ❤️✨

A/N: this is literally just a ton of softness, enjoy! 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

You could hardly believe your eyes as you scanned the room and found the one person you hadn’t been expecting to see. Out of all the people in the world, there was Frankie Morales, across the crowded ballroom, mingling with a few other of your old classmates. It had been two whole decades since you’d last seen him; two decades since you’d last kissed him, last told him you loved him, last held him. Back then you had been positive that you wouldn’t see the last of him. 

You knew he’d gone into the military after high school, greatly deviating from your plans of college, and ultimately causing your break up. You’d never heard a word from him or seen so much as a glimpse of him since the day of your graduation. At first you had been hopeful that you’d see him again sometime at some point, but the time had never come. That had led you to believe that he wouldn’t even be coming here tonight, to your class reunion. You could just picture him saying something along the lines of ‘why? what a silly waste of time!’ Unbeknownst to you, he hadn’t actually planned on coming - not until he’d gotten word through the grapevine that you’d be there. 

The sight of him was enough to take your breath away; he still looked exactly the same after all this time, just older, hardened, and world weary. Much like yourself and everyone else here, you supposed. But when his soft, chocolate eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin at him, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards without a second thought. Turning to the group of women you were chatting with, you offered them a half hearted excuse and made your way over to teenage love. Frankie didn’t hesitate to do the same.

Meeting halfway in the middle, you almost crashed into each other, your body practically humming with excited nervous energy as you stared at Frankie - your Frankie. He smiled that same smile you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, his magnificent dimple making its appearance. 

“Frankie-”

“Honey Bee-”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you both said excitedly, before breaking into a fit of giggles. At least you were on the same page about this one. Part of you had always wondered, even if just a small, tiny part of you, whether he held any disdain or dislike for you after you ended your relationship. It had been hard at the time, you were both lovestruck young fools, but you both knew at the time, even if only deep down, that it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had all happened the way it did for a reason. 

“Do you want to go outside? To the gardens?” he asked softly as you nodded in response. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached for your hand, clutching it tightly, but gently, in his much larger one, lacing your finger together without a second thought. Trailing behind his long strides, you couldn’t help but admire his frame; tall and broad, with just the right amount of softness that somehow remained firm. He’d gone from a good looking teenager to a handsome man. 

Once you were away from all the commotion and outside in the cool evening air in the gardens decorated with lightly twinkling lanterns, he paused and turned to study you. A look of pure adoration was etched into his eyes as his hands found either side of your face and he gently traced over your features. 

“You are just as beautiful today as you always have been,” he beamed at you, “my sweetest Bee. After all these years, I get to see you again.”

“Francisco…”

“May I kiss you?” as soon as his name fell so softly from your lips, he couldn’t help him. It was like he was eighteen again, and falling over, so easily, so effortlessly. You watched with wide, doe eyes, the most innocent expression on your face as you nodded before biting on your lip.

Before either of you could think too much about it, he crashed his lips onto yours and kissed you with a fervent, but gentle intensity. It was like no time had passed and neither of you had to think about it; it all worked so easily. Just like it had always been meant to be.

When you finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, you grinned at each other like fools. You couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses from him. “Frankie...I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming,” he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his feet for a moment, “but I heard you were going to be here, and I had to come.”

“For me?” a flush rose into his cheeks as you beamed at him and offered up a shy nod.

“Of course,” he confessed, “why else? I always hoped I’d see you again one day...I never stopped thinking about you. How horribly cliche is that?”

“Well, even if it is, then I suppose that makes the two of us fools,” putting your hand on his cheek, you traced your thumb over his features, “you’d always cross my mind...a lot. Probably more than I should have…”

“Somethings never change, huh?” he laughed light as he led over to an empty bench surrounded by beautiful evening blossoms. You sat next time, watching with nervous intensity as he held your hand in his, “how’ve you been, Bee? Really? Tell me everything.”

“Only if you promise to do the same.”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

And it was easy to talk to him; just like it always had been. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all. With him you never had to think about what to say, or worry about him passing judgment or anything. It just was...and it was a beautiful thing. An odd longing feeling settled into your stomach the more you listened to him, leaning in closer and closer until you were almost in his lap. In some ways you wondered if it had always been him. Like you were both here again for a reason. You liked the idea that everything happened as it was meant to, as the universe willed it. 

“But then my wife…” as soon as the words hit your ears, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a confused expression. Wife, wife, wife. Holy shit.

Springing to your feet, your mind was reeling as you imagined all the ways in which you had fucked up, but Frankie was fast on his feet and was still right behind you, calling your name as he tried to catch up, reaching for your hand. Of all the things you had imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Eventually you stopped and turned to face with a wide eyed expression, “what do you mean wife? Frankie, I-I still have a lot of the same feelings I always did, but if you have a wife-”

“Bee, please no,” he shook his head fervently, trying to get you to calm down and calm his own racing heart, “no, no, no, I shouldn’t have said it like that - old habits die hard. I meant ex-wife. We’ve been…we’re divorced, and have been for over a year.”

As if to prove his point, he held up his left hand and showed you that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. His own eyes flitted awkwardly to our own hand, almost as if to check that you weren’t someone else’s either. Instantly you felt foolish and silly, knowing it had been foolish to explode like that. You should have known better; Frankie would never lie to you, “I-I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Frankie. I just...I couldn’t handle the thought of you...well doing anything with someone’s married, or you being married to someone still. Needless to say, my own marriage didn’t end well; he cheated on me with multiple women.”

“I would never put you in that position,” he promised softly, “and I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to you, Honey Bee. If...if you’ll have me, however you want, I promise you I will never lie to you. I never have and never will.”

“Promise?” you looked at him with glossy eyes as your lip trembled, but he just nodded and reached for your hand, pulling you closer to him, “Francisco…”

“Of course,” he replied softly, “so full disclosure - I’m a divorced, single dad - very proud dad of the sassiest and sweetest little girl that is my world. I know that’s a lot, on top of everything else I’ve told you, but that’s...that’s what it is. Who I am. I guess it’s probably not what you were expecting...probably a let down.”

“No,” you promised him quickly, with a big, wide grin, “it’s wonderful. You’re wonderful, Frankie. None of those things are a letdown; you’re perfect. We’ve all got our issues - I’m a divorced, single dog mom that’s considered a failure by so many people because I went to college and ended up doing something completely different, and now run a small coffee shop. It’s not exactly lucrative, but I love it.”

“You always wanted a coffee shop,” he remembered; you’d told him about it more times than you could remember when you were just kids, “your dream came true!”

“It’s even better now,” you insisted softly, “because I’m here - with you. I think...I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. Seeing you again, after all this time...it’s still you, Frankie.”

“After all this time?”

“Always.”

“Good,” he beamed at you, “I’m glad the feeling’s mutual. Honey Bee...may I kiss you again?”

“Mhmm.”

“And again and again and again?” you laughed at his playfulness, but underneath it all, you could see there was a serious side to all of this. He was looking at you like you had hung all the stars in the glittering night sky, “if you’ll still have me?”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[mikeshanlon]

i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him. 

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything. 

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes. 

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and  i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.