#thinking about what I put my parents thru vs thinking about my own feelings and how my parents affected me and somehow I still feel worse

[milo-is-rambling]

Thought about the concept of me either having children or not ever having children and both options make me want to cry

[fictional-orphan-smackdown]

PINK VS. PINK, GO!

All propaganda and what each competitor is from under the cut

Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney)

The case in which his father died is the root of all the tragedy in the first 3 games. He even thinks he killed his father at first which is very sad and he has lasting trauma from the incident (his father died in an elevator during an earthquake. edgeworth is shown to panic and shut down during earthquakes or something similar like airplane turbulence and he avoids taking the elevator whenever possible)

Miles Edgeworth is the most repressed individual you'll ever meet. He is a chess player and everytime he has a chess board he puts the red pieces (him) cornering a blue piece (HIS RIVAL/THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE). He told the aforementioned rival his ex girlfriend died by telling him "her metabolic processes are concern of only historians". He dresses like a victorian child. He is a steel samurai fan. Almost christmas means it wasn't christmas

Sakuya Sakuma (A3!)

OUGH okay hello I’m gonna yell about my little guy here. Obviously he’s an orphan; parents died when he was really small, passed around to different family members, and BOY does it affect him. He’s not colossally depressed or anything but it does give him abandonment issues, a general sense of loneliness, and a latent fear that if he’s too sad or angry then he’ll get sent to live somewhere else. Even after he joins his live-in theater company, though he does start moving past it there. Despite all that, he always strives to be kind and caring and cheerful, yes in part because he felt like he had to be but also because he just generally is. He’s so very loved in the place he’s at to the point that a number of grown adults (he starts the series at 17!) openly admit that they look up to him. TRULY one of the characters ever I’m so incredibly normal about him

ok so i havent been caught up in years so forgive me if i get the details wrong but he's just a ball of sunshine despite all he's gone thru (multiple foster homes, never really feeling like he belonged anywhere). like he literally put his everything into acting because it was the only place he could go that wasn't back to a foster home (the company has dorms for the actors), to the point where he was doing "solo" shows (he had a bird as a supporting actor) just to bring in enough people to keep the acting company from shutting down completely. also it's the way that he FINALLY found a place to call home and people to call family and he was SO DESPERATE to hold onto that when his fellow troupe members threaten to leave (at least once for each of them for a minimum of 5, but only one at a time. u would think they would catch on at some point and not do that). also the sleepover cg in act 1 makes me feel like crying like they're finally on the same page and ready to work together and they look so comfortable and vulnerable with each other and it just AUGHH because they only did that after sakuya decided to sleep on the stage on his own and got caught by another troupe member who dragged in the rest of them too like hello?? crying

[theuniverseawakens347]

I really don’t need much from a man or a friend .. it’s two different things going on there that go into one when ur dating .. okay 3 ya got a kid .. but a friend

SOMEONE YOU CAN RELY ON NOT CODDLE YOU AND PARENT YOU .. THATS where Yal fuck up.

Friend : IM HERE FOR YOU I HEAR YOU I SEE YOU YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT ALONE. .. let’s brain storm together // let me lead u put your darkness here’s some resources

A PARENT : you have a different life path than me ( TAKE YA GOT DAMN FAILURE AND JEALOUSY OUT OF IT) .. you struggling where I as the parent got the means to come thru.. let me help you ( WITHOUT CONTROLLING IT .. if you failed doing it ur way for you WTF MAKE YOU THINK UR GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL THRU UR CHILD.. AND IF YOU ARE HOW MANY KIDS LIVING THEY PARENTS DREAM ( in full) AND HAPPY.. and if so how’d ya get there 1/2 - on letting go of control .. SHERALEE ETIENE VS COCO ) ..

A RELATIONSHIP A FRIEND AND ASPECTS OF A PARENT. MEANING ..

I’m secure in my finances and doing what I want to make me happy with the $$$ I’m getting what are you trying to do?? Oh you need help financially and I got the backing til you’re good on ur own COOL LETS DO IT.

I told Jamal I’m hoping for x y n z and doing a b and. C there’s no goal date BUT YOU SET ONE AND I SAID COOL LET ME CHASE IT .. and if I’m getting close and it’s not working out IMMA LET YOU KNOW. .. but nigga you got business* w SECURED BLUE PRINTING IM BUILDING MINE THERES A DIFFERENCE .. your building a poetry book WHICH YOU TOOK MY ART GALLERY IDEA FROM AND MADE URS .. and ya USED ME AS A FUCKING MUSE I helped you while at laurel canyon spot when we met do your shoots for it and your write poetry off my coochie BITCH ASS NIGGA .. I TALKED ALL STAGES OF THE WAY TO YOU W WHERE I WAS AT SEEING AS A BULK OF THE MONEY ($3000 in rent is coming from you) AND SAME W OCCIDENTAL WE WENT HALF AND PAID MY PARENTS SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO STRESS ABOUT LEASING OFFICE .. until it just fell apart .. EQUINOX FIRED ME and AND A BITCH NEEDED A BREAK so I slowed down on Lyft and pushed toward building furthering my fitness freelance THAT I PUT ON HOLD TO GROW KNOWLEDGE.. Evelyn I trained you Jocelyn ya working out w me while I’m living w Daniel to BUILD MY BUSINESS .. I’m talking to you assholes about what I’m doing … but Evelyn Lee how her business for training something she sucks at and NEVER DID GROW BEFORE MINE CLIENTELE INSTAGRAM LAYOUT : she sucking sick on the back end for $$ and paying a marketing agent and stealing other ppl workouts and going to gyms to “train for knowledge “ but taking they WHOLE WORKOUT AS HERS .. then getting friends or paying other “influencers” to give her a shoutout .. STUPID TO ME AND MISS HR GLASS QUEEN LIKE DRAKEO GOT ASS WORK AN BOOBS N LIPS DONE .. LAZY SACS OF SEX MEAT FOR SOME $$$ .. IM GOOD IMA TAKE THE HARDER ROUTE W LASTING OUTCOME.

Daniel I TOLD YOU BEFORE WE MOVED I DISNT FEEL SECURE .. Lee I TALKED TO YOU AND NATEANA AND AJA AND SAID I THINK HES STUPID MISSING MENTAL PROPERTIES .. mean 🤷‍♀️ sure but like LOOK AT THE OUTCOME .. YA WASTED MY FUCKING TIME AND KILLED MY FUCKING DOG WHEN YOU HAD IT FOR A SHORT TIME .. or another dog whatever. But two weeks into moving in I broke up w you .. Lee said “he’s giving you emotional maturity u never had”

🫤 so you want me to die. Okay mom imma go die. Tf.

SO AGAIN WHY YOU AINT SIT ME THE TROUBLED TEEN DOWN W THE INSPIRATIONAL FRIEND AND FIGURE OUT THE PROBLEM!???

[bixqueen]

so thanks to hboMAX my pretty little liars obsession has started up again and when i watched pll the first time all the way thru (yes sadly it’s been more than once i have a life but also don’t) my favorite character was alison. as i’ve watched it more it changed (emily or spencer is prob my fav now) but going through tumblr, instagram, and even pinterest, i feel alison gets too much shit/hate from the fandom. so here i am, making a justification for her. if you really don’t want to see my side or pov then just keep scrolling because i don’t really want to see negativity in the comments (unless you’ll actually say something, a rebuttal?)

so let’s start off with alison being a small child and her household/family. we know how her parents would manipulate her and tell her lying is better than telling the truth. she’s had these really bad influences on her at such a young age (with secrets overflowing her house) and when you continue to have these influences on you as you’re mind is maturing, of course you’re going to eventually go through with them. now yes i know the other girls also had lying parents but were any of them as bad as alisons? i mean some things spencer’s parents kept and arias but they were also older at that point (middle of high school and up). i’m not saying it’s okay but they knew at that point in their life what’s wrong and right and for the most part they had been raised to not lie. alison wasn’t. eventually her lies caught up to her as well so even though she learned the hard way to tell the truth, she eventually did.

now we’re getting into the high school stage where there were MANY points as to why she would’ve ran away. if the writers wanted a better redemption arc for her i feel they would’ve shown her a little more broken in some scenes and such but anyways. freshman year isn’t absolute hell but it’s not fun either. having the mindset of making sure you’re not the one who will get hurt obviously forces you to have this wall and makes you a lot more mean than you really are. (i really feel this was a wasted potential by the writers not going more in depth about her mental pain but shit they didn’t do it with anyone tbh). her whole life kinda had build ups to her being so secretive and closed away (again if the writers went into more depth on this we would’ve seen maybe some trauma that causes her to be closed off and push everyone away. not wanting to show weaknesses) from everyone so it definitely wasn’t hard for her to find that bitchier side and let it off on everyone, not that it’s right, it just made her feel safe and protected. a main factor of this was probably being closeted. i myself am a bisexual girl so i know how it feels to question yourself the way she most likely did. it’s scary. really fucking scary. because you don’t know if there’s something wrong with you at first or if it’s just a stage and you’ll most likely pass it. it’s why i believe her relationship with emily was why she had no big deal leaving rosewood. yes we know she was being tormented by A before the girls were and she wanted to leave so she could be safe. but even with that there would need to be some other factors that kicked in to her actually leaving. A in the beginning for JUST alison was kinda like a bully right? i mean a little more extreme than that but it wasn’t as bad as it was when it started hitting with the other 4 girls. so if alison THE alison dilaurentis was being bullied by someone too scared to show who they really are, wouldn’t she just laugh some of it off? alison WANTED to leave before mona gave her the option. she was scared. and not just of A, but of who she was. and who she loves.

if we’re looking at what alison does for emily versus the other girls while they’re being tormented by A, you can tell she cares for her more. she saved emily more than anyone else. she said leaving emily was the hardest part of it all. because alison was in love with emily, just like emily was in love with her back. obviously running away and faking your death isn’t the best option for having internal panics, some people just don’t know how to manage it. especially being the bold person everyone sees and talks about. imagine seeing her walk out of some therapy session teary-eyed. she’d feel so weak in that moment, so vulnerable. isn’t that one of her biggest fears? people seeing she’s not as strong as she comes off to be and they can use that against her. her fear for being vulnerable also brings me to her being SO scared coming back to school after faking her death. ali, the queen bee, is terrified. this kinda brings to me childhood pain (personally this is why i thought of it lol rip). maybe her family thought showing emotions was weakness you know? and when you open up they kinda laugh at you and they’re like “you think you’re life is hard?? you’re a kid.” (i’m sure i’m not the only person who’s heard this mf bullshit bedore). where i’m going with that though, is it could’ve been placed in her head at a very young age (also this is so dehumanizing and traumatic damn but it makes sense) that you have to shut out all feelings and emotions. it really makes people numb and being emotionally numb as a child and teen is dangerous for brain growth and development. makes sense why it took her forever to feel safe and okay opening up to emily about her feelings and showing emotions around the girls. when you’re seen as this “bitch” who doesn’t make down from a fight, it forces you to turn emotionless.

so the way she acted out the night she went missing and her freshman year wasn’t ideal and it really wasn’t okay. but the audience never saw what she was going through mentally, hell even after that. we see it a little when she comes back and talks about the night she went missing. imagine your own mother burrying you alive. god the trauma that must STILL have on her. being under pounds of dirts, unable to move or talk. your own mother doing this to you to save someone else. i’m not trying to put it as she’s only been through things and no one else has cus of course that’s not the case. i just think people often dismiss her pain and trauma and just say “she’s a bad person and deserves the shit she’s been through.”

i’d also like to add her type of crowd she was around wasn’t the best sort of people. imagining being a freshman and hanging out with college kids who would throw some girl down a flight of stairs. i feel like that also had an impact on her mental health and what she believed was okay to an extent because i mean verbally bullying isn’t okay but at least sis never pushed someone down the stairs 😭 (worst thing she did is definitely blinding jenna. i really don’t know how to defend her actions for that one. you could say she didn’t know anyone was in there? or that she didn’t know she had- it was a firework right?)

last point i can think of: paige vs alison. of course i have to add this lol but my main point with this is both girls were mean to each other. did alison start it by calling her names and such? most definitely. do i think paige should’ve retaliated? to an extent. but she went as far as teaming up with others to have alison go to jail for a crime she didn’t commit. their revival wasn’t just one sided and again i think people often forget that. they’re continuously like going against each other at every chance they got. it was funny but also got annoying. ali would shit talk to paiges face then paige would go whine and cry about it to emily to turn emily on her side. i mean did we forget paige manipulated emily against alison? (yes ik alison was the manipulation queen when she was younger). really what i’m going with this is that they’re more alike than they’ll admit to an extent. me personally, i like alison and emison more. i never really liked paily but paige grew less annoying in later seasons. but when comparing them, i believe paige had more damage on emily than alison did. even when alison was ‘dead’ she still saved emily’s life at times (including the other 3 girls) and did things to protect them. i don’t remember paige saving emily just trying drowning her because she was a little jealous. another thing i know someone will try to bring up about them is how “alison was never happy for emily” well shit bro neither was paige 😭 i’m on season 7 right now and there were some times paige took a liking into stalking emily while she was dating that girl who worked in the cafe (sorry i can’t remember her name rn). and when emily talked about being with that girl she was kinda like 😐 k. alison is the type to speak or show her mind while paige seems to keep to herself then shit talk others behind their back. both qualities aren’t exactly the best so both ‘sides’ can go against each other for years on this. they’re just more alike than people realize.

anyways, there’s that. if you have any opinions (WHERE YOU’LL ACTUALLY ARGUE SOMETHING AND NOT JUST SHIT TALK ME!!) feel free to leave a reply. and if i left out something you want me to add in i will :) have a good day <3

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

[cloveroctobers]

GENEVIEVE ALIU —

IG info/bio: @/genevealiu1 | 19k followers | currently on a journey as a junior doctor living in 🇦🇺🤎 | blm.card.co🖤 | sk💛

26 years of age

Born and raised in Glastonbury, England

Pisces sun? + libra moon?

Mother is Guyanese and works for a non-profit organization

Her father is Nigerian and works in property management

has one older brother who is a Prosthetist and resides in Nigeria with his pregnant fiancée

She can’t wait to be a auntie!!!

And a younger sister who is a medical laboratory technician

To say the least, their parents were happy that their children fell into the medical field. Based on their cultures it was a honor to have their children in these professions

Vieve grew up with a sassy demeanor and her parents have old videos on their camcorders to prove it lol, it never fails that the pair brings out the embarrassing vids during the holidays but vieve genuinely appreciates them 

Although thanksgiving is a RACIST American thing, vieve never misses the opportunity to share what she’s thankful for in life and counts all of it as blessings! But it’s still fuck the pilgrims

Has held a friendsgiving before, loves any moment where she can host gatherings or attend them! either is quite fine. She loves being around people

the only time she likes to look back on the past is to see how she and her family carried themselves then and how the evolved into who they are now, it’s interesting to see

Loves “how it started vs how it’s going” posts and might have participated in a few

Always knew from a young age that she wanted to help people in some way, she was always doing something to help around the house and especially her aging/sickly grandparents

Felt offended that many people around school that she thought were her friends would stab her in the back labeling her as this “fake saint” since she rather spend her time volunteering instead of going to house parties in hs

Don’t get it twisted, she still went to those too & had her fun but definitely felt like it was the same routine and nothing ever felt fulfilling at these functions after awhile

Well known with all the cliques around school but had her own group of friends that fit into many of those cliques but she never felt obligated to stick to one social group. If you were nice and cool with her, she was the same to you, if you weren’t? Depending on her mood, she’d ignore you/say things under her breath or be “fake nice” as a form of being the bigger person

Has a curly hair routine that she consistently follows (after struggling to find the right products to make them flourish) and gets annoyed with if her curls don’t turn out the way she knows they can, it’s always frustrating when things don’t turn out the way you want them to but isn’t afraid to at least try

Three times is the charm! Is one of her mottos

loves bright colors, flowy attire, big hats, brimmed hats, bucket hats, berets, etc...

Has faced racism/prejudices and bullying growing up in public spaces—mostly school/uni & some of those same hatred actions online now that she’s dating seb

Because of that there were times where she felt insecure but deff grew to forgive, heal, and rise above the hate, she knows her worth

Has never been happier in a relationship than she is with seb, he’s her “moody long-haired, soft-hearted bby”

they’re both complete fools for each other and vieve is more vocal about her being in love/finding her soulmate whereas seb doesn’t mind showing it rather than speaking it—even tho he’s on a podcast but we mind our business okay?!

Seb is thinking of moving to Australia with vieve, he’s ready to risk it all for this woman, HIS woman 🤩

canon: gives more than she should/taken advantage of/not reciprocating in relationships... ex) how she dated a guy that she did everything for! especially financially and also struggled to find her worth but once she did? Her aura shined brighter than before— Ik chill out there Rocco

Also believes in loving yourself first to attract what you need in this world and found that in her career and seb. I hope they’re endgame! Since they’re the only couple I rooted for this season? Except for tai & ciaran maybe? They’re probably not endgame but whatever

They still get nervous/shy around each other even tho they’ve been together for months now + are in a long distance relationship which is too cute! I think since they’re in this for the long game they can look back on moments and still feel the way they felt in that moment. You know if you get the chance or have already heard elderly people talk about their relationships and how they get all starry eyed? That’s vieve & seb, that shit gets me right in my feels ew

Vieve’s love language is quality time, it’s what she shows and likes along with acts of service from her partner

Makes the best jollof rice & her fav dish is Metemgee

Trying to be on a plant-based diet only but will have her cheat days on occasion—mostly when she’s drunk and forgets her diet plan lmao that’s me getting double cheeseburgers or anything with dairy drunk af

now living in Australia, she tried to like vegemite but...the it’s a no for her, respectfully ofc! She never wants to disrespect anyone

besides the food, the atmosphere is much nicer since she feels like she’s on a holiday almost everyday and that there’s much more to see and do when she has the time

Loves the beaches and is thinking about surfing lessons

yes she enjoys those doctor shows and can agree that most scenarios are not the same as rl ofc but great question!

Since she’s a junior doctor now, and on her way to graduation! She feels so accomplished and having this chance to complete what she’s wanted her whole life in a different place, makes her super emotional

All those stressful all-nighters will be worth it. She mostly did it on her own but is nothing but humble and Is thankful to those that have helped her along the way, what kind of person would she be if she didn’t mention them?

and when COVID hit, she was one of many already on the frontlines. Her studies became altered but this wouldn’t stop her for her mission on this earth, this was her purpose and she knew we would conquer it all—but definitely has empathy and gets angry with how it’s being handled from time to time

She’s been exposed to it first hand which aboustely worries her parents, seb, her friends, and friends from the villa

Keeps up to date when all medical news, has a whole app dedicated to health

Learning French with some of her free time and is doing well at it

It was only natural for her to become closer to elladine since their men are homies and have a podcast together

They’ve hung out a few times on a double dates before the boat vacation & once just as girls before vieve left to Australia

Vieve is always offering advice but knows that every relationship is different and what works for her and seb won’t work for elladine and Nicky, she loves them together and knows everyone has bumps in the road

feels there’s some sort of tension between her and Harry now? Which she found a little off putting since they were supposed to be friends but she realizes that Harry has a condition but it’s also not an excuse for him to treat her shitty sometimes which he does and feels like it comes out of nowhere most times but he always apologizes yet vieve is slowly getting tired of this unhealthy habits

So they’re talking less these days, which he notices!

She wants Harry to find his happiness too! If he hasn’t found it in mc first that is

has met Tim— he’s a great laugh and seems like a nice guy—they follow each other, talia and jake in person when she was out with seb—they were also super nice and congratulated them on their win, she went up to miles once on a night out—he’s still a arsehole, priya reached out to her via dm about her new boutique that she wanted her to model in someday, Hope was just as stunning in person along with Siobhan, Chelsea & mc s2 were also kind, and a couple of the guys also wished her and seb well

She’s also noticed some of the shit talking coming from Elisa, Allegra, Lucy, and mc s1 (subtle shade from mc, basically about how vieve reacted if mc decided to give Harry a go but that was only brought to her attention thru fans) online but again, vieve peeped it and felt majority of it didn’t require a response. She was too happy in life rn and she had a man and they don’t

Plans to get a komondor, thinks they’re super cute! — seb does not “if you love me, you’ll love our child.” “It’s a bloody mop dog! And I’m a cat dad, you know that!” “Don’t talk about him like that, he’s got feelings just like your cat babies!”

I feel like she’s a matcha & Frappuccino lover, tries to keep her drinks simple and feels guilty when she has to make adjustments but the heart wants what it wants

Mini Countryman owner, she also drives like a “granny” better safe than sorry! She hates fast drivers, there’s absolutely no need for it!

Minimal makeup: eyeshadow, moisturizer, & a nude lip and she’s good to go

Secretly obsessed with among us, second life, and SIMS!!!

Celeb crushes? Heath ledger, Tyler posey, KENDRICK SAMPSON, Jordan fisher, Algee smith, Donald Glover, Mack Wilds, Khleo Thomas, Robert Ri’chard, Tahj Mowry, & Hasan Minhaj

Listens to: DaniLeigh, ABIR, Mary J. Blige, TORI KELLY, Us the duo, 11:11, Jacob Latimore, fifth harmony, joya mooi, & Greentea Peng, etc...

Anthem: The Cheetah Girls �� Cinderella

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Hamilton!firstprince au

(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)

in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical

the similarities:

both have/will have a political career

both often talk too much/don't mind their words

both began as lawyers

both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)

both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans

hamilton speculated to be bi

the story

the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years

idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland

alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony

but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)

june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence

when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion

thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous

his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex

ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe

now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that

he attends uni + meets like-minded people there

tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling

they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion

henry is one of those soldiers

he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality

the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home

henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway

alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun

nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)

henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 

there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 

it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 

henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it

many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position

alex doesn't 

of course alex also doesn't know him

and alex hates him

but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back

henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square

alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker

henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause

at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments

the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills

henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 

“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 

“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”

alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 

“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 

“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 

cue enraged henry noises 

alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 

there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger

like it can't be anything else 

while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts

henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing

school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 

alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary

luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man

alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future

as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists

henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then

henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic

alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun

henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry

“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion

henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 

becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying

but he also doesn't regret protecting alex

alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth

henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.

alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet

soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge

henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly

henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 

besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid

eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world

he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over

alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body

things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry

they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows

alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down

it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle

being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore

it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on

they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too

they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married

they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public

alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically

so alex and henry discuss what to do 

henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case

henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  

alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years

luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance

but alex knows he'll have some good advice

alex + luna end up having a long conversation

like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth

hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life

alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special

“who is she?” 

“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  

“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end

“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”

alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies

he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough

also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests

so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives

separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician

as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice

all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics

the two of them live happy and full lives together

[kelleesioverhere]

50 Questions

Tagged by the beautiful @chasingforeverandaday, thank you so much!

what is the color of your hairbrush? okay wow we are off to an embarrassing start I am so unbelievably unobservant I had to actually go into my bathroom and look.... it’s purple and grey. Who knew!

name a food you never eat? CILANTRO get that shit away from me. It taints anything in it’s nearby vicinity

are you typically too warm or too cold? if I’m awake I’m too cold. If I’m asleep I’m too hot

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? working like the great lil employee that I am

what's your favorite candy bar? Frozen Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? If that doesn’t count then Wunderbar

have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes, I have been to two Canucks games and two Vancouver Canadians (baseball) games. I’ve never seen the team I’m cheering for win, I have determined I am a bad luck charm 

what is the last thing you said out loud? Um. “IQLAS78A128″. loool I am home alone.

what is your favourite ice cream? Mint Chip Hagen Dazs

what was the last thing you had to drink? a cup of tea

do you like your wallet? yes I do, it was a gift and it’s v classy

what is the last thing you ate? half a piece of cheesecake last night lol

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I cannot for the life of me tell you the last time I bought new clothes so absolutely not

what's the last sporting event you watched? The last sporting event that was on at our house? Thursday night football. did I pay attention, absolutely not. Can’t even tell you who was playing. Last one I watched and paid attention to... Canucks vs Vegas game 7

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Smartfood cheddar popcorn hands down 10/10

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my fiancees cousin, we are trying to put together something great for my mans 30th bday and we are both terrible at shit like this

ever go camping? I love camping I will go anytime any place it is my fuckin fave

do you take vitamins? lol no

do you regularly attend a place of worship? my dad told me “nothing starts more wars than religion” so given that upbringing, no, I do not

do you have a tan? yes I do, an extremely uneven one because I lay on my back all summer and really resisted rolling over

do you prefer chinese or pizza? oh god don’t do this to me............ I think I’d have to say chinese, just because I like a wider variety of chinese options

do you drink your soda through a straw? well I used to before we all found out about the turtles (now I don’t but I won’t lie, it tastes better through a straw, it just hit different)

what color socks do you usually wear? white. I only own white socks. This is one of my great #lifehacks because my socks always match, and pairing them up is easy breezy lemon squeezy, I really think I’m onto something here

do you ever drive above the speed limit? the key is to always go 1-3km below the ‘excessive speed’ impound limit

what terrifies you? so many things, I am such a wimp. Heights, dark water, spiders, feeling trapped, public speaking, I could go on

look to your left, what do you see? my door to my hallway. Not the most exciting not gonna lie

what chore do you hate most? VACUUMING. I refuse to live in a house with carpet because you know what my ass is NEVER going to vacuum, I already know this to be true so why fight it

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Jim Jeffries saying ‘cunt’, is that bad?

what's your favorite soda pop? coca cola with ice in a glass through a straw goddammnnnnnnn

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? oh my god drive through

what's your favorite number? All numbers are equal to me, I don’t care. How about 5 today

who’s the last person you talked to? My fiancee when he left for work this AM

favorite cut of beef? okay yikes confession idk anything about beef cuts, I try to not buy beef at the store because there are so many options I get overwhelmed and confused. You could give me any cut and say it’s the prime best one and I’d believe you (but I like when my parents make roast beef for me. Is that a cut? Does that count? Do you see the problem???)

last song you listened to? "Classic Cars” - Bright Eyes

last book you read? To completion? “All the light we cannot see” which I really enjoyed

favorite day of the week? Friday! TODAY!

can you say the alphabet backwards? omg yes not to brag but I’m really good at this, I practice all the time because I have a random fear I’ll get pulled over by police and accused of drunk driving when I’m not, and in order to prove to them I am sober I plan to recite the alphabet backwards, I’ve been training for this moment for years

how do you like your coffee? Hmmm I really prefer tea but if I’m going to have coffee I want it in something that’s basically a desert like a PSL or a peppermint mocha

favorite pair of shoes? white adidas w the black stripes you know the ones

time you normally get up? 7 or 8 am

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!!

how many blankets on your bed? one (even that’s too much, I am always so hot when I’m sleeping)

describe your kitchen plates? they are white with a marble design they are pretty cute 

describe your kitchen at the moment? it is clean since I work from home now and have time to tidy! It’s very white. It’s very tidy. I am calm. All is well

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? moscow mule pls

do you play cards? only if forced because I am the sorest loser ever but I’m also bad at cards, so, you see the dilemma

what color is your car? black

can you change a tire? hahahahahahahahahahahaha absolutely not

your favorite state? Okay I feel like this is an #unpopularopinion but... FLORIDA there I said it

favorite job you've had? my current job because it involves cheerleading ;)

tagging: @yanak324 @lightninginabottle0613 @livhatesolives @jjofalltrades @speechphi @anniephl

[fic-for-fic-sake]

The Journalist and the Winter Soldier

Description: You’re a journalist in New York City who is preparing to interview the infamous Winter Soldier, James Barnes. During your interview sessions you find that your relationship with him may go beyond that of journalist and interview subject. Can the two of you keep things platonic or will the lines become blurred along the way? Previous parts can be found here. 

Chapter 4: 

The next morning you took way too much time deciding on an outfit to wear to your follow up interview with Bucky. You couldn’t wear anything too formal, it’s not like your office was on Wall Street or anything, but something too casual could send the wrong message. You were going for a follow up interview after all. 

Eventually you managed to decide on a black dress that came mid-thigh with white flowers on it. You smiled at yourself as you twirled in the mirror, sometimes wearing pants all the time bored you, so you were glad for the upturn in the weather. Just to be safe you threw on a white gray pleather jacket and topped the outfit off with black heeled booties. Perfect, this outfit said ‘I’m here for a follow up interview but also I’m cute if you wanted to notice’. 

Making sure you had all your notes with you as well as a pen and a pad of paper, you got your keys and made your way back to the Avengers Compound upstate. You stopped at a Starbucks drive-thru for a quick coffee and then continued on your way. On your drive you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. You wondered which version of James Barnes you would get today; the closed off, reserved, media conscious man, or flirty Bucky who made your heart beat just a little faster. 

You showed your ID badge at the gate and as you pulled in you could see Bucky outside waiting for you. Shit. You weren’t prepared for this at all. You tossed back the rest of your coffee, not at all minding the mild scolding to your tongue and back of your throat, as you parked your car. You quickly pulled your purse, which contained all of your interview materials, from the passenger seat before you exited the car. You noticed Bucky approach you and you took the opportunity to quickly smooth down the skirt of your dress, making sure it was presentable after the long drive. 

“Wow, if I knew you were gonna dress up, I woulda changed.” Bucky teased, giving your outfit a quick once over. His roaming eyes over your form made your throat go dry. You shifted nervously under his gaze, shuffling from foot to foot and making the gravel beneath you crunch in response. 

“It’s nothing, just business attire. Besides, you’re not on camera today anyway so what you’re wearing is perfectly fine.” You commented, taking in his current attire. You guessed when he said ‘break in his schedule’ he really meant it. It looked like he had just come from the gym. A black tank top practically clung to his sweaty torso, revealing every place his muscles rose and fell. Black joggers hung loosely from his hips, giving you a small peak of his hip bones. His jet black hair was pulled into a messy bun with some forgotten strands clinging to his face, in short, he looked like an Adonis and you weren’t okay. 

You noticed that when you mentioned there wouldn’t be a camera today he seemed to relax more, uncrossing his arms, one black and gold and the other flesh, from his chest. 

“So, what are we talkin’ about today then?” He asked, leading you towards a clearing across from the parking lot. 

“While my editor and I were going through the footage last night, I realized I didn’t have a sound bite of you talking about the differences in life in the 1940s vs. life now.” You explained, following him to a bench that sat under a blossoming willow tree. The scene made you feel nostalgic for home when you used to sit under a similar weeping willow and read books aloud to your stuffed animals. Your mom and always said you were born a performer, she wasn’t far off. 

“What is it?” Bucky questioned, pulling you from your thoughts. “I lost you there for a minute.” 

“Oh sorry, I had a willow tree just like this when I was a kid. Just made me remember and all.” You replied, sitting down opposite him on the dark wooden bench. You noticed there was a golden placard on the back of the chair ‘Howard Stark, good at inventing, okay at parenting’. It made you smile. 

“I knew him you know.” Bucky commented, noticing where your eyes had landed on the bench. 

“What was he like?” You asked, eyes blown wide in awe. Bucky chuckled lightly at your 

reaction, you guessed he got that question a lot. 

“A little of what you would expect, a lot of what you wouldn’t.” Bucky replied with a faraway look in his eyes. You sensed a story coming so you pulled out your phone and began to record, Bucky didn’t object. “He was arrogant, yes, a cad, even more so, but he was also kind of reserved.” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Whenever he was working he would sit in whatever space we provided him with for 

hours. Sometimes he would forget to eat or even sleep. You could always tell when Stark had an idea in his head that he couldn’t shake, it was the only time he ever really shut up.” Bucky recalled with a wistful smile on his face. 

“Sounds like you knew him well.” You remarked, jotting shorthand down in your notebook, blue ink scribbling across the white expanse of the page. 

“Not as well as others, but that wasn’t really my area. I was more of the follow orders type, not really one to give them out.” He said with a shrug. 

“Why not?” 

“It never really made me comfortable. When I was growin’ up I had to look after a few people so it felt nice to not have to do that, even if for a little while.” He pondered. 

“What?” You questioned, noticing how his gaze didn’t fall on anything specific, just kind of staring and thinking. 

“I...uh, I’ve never really thought about that before actually.” He replied bashfully, bringing his right hand up to rub the back of his neck, a slight blush creeping on his cheeks. He was cute when he was flushed, you wondered if you could make it happen again. Damnit, focus, you’re here for the story not for the man. Even if said man was being incredibly charming without so much as lifting a finger. 

You made a split second, maybe stupid decision. You unzipped your booties and brought both of your legs on the bench and sat criss crossed. You made a show of readjusting yourself making Bucky chuckle in bewilderment and then you placed your notebook back in your lap. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned, looking at your new position and then to your booties laying haphazardly in the grass. 

“I’m just getting more comfortable. Interesting story and all.” You answered simply, a slight smile playing at your lips. You looked down at your notebook and remembered your next point, “You said you had to look after a few people when you were growing up, who did you mean?” 

“I was the oldest of four and my dad didn’t hang around much, so I kind of took up the responsibility of looking after my younger siblings.” Bucky started, “and then one day I met Steve, when some punks were trying to take his money. We were fast friends after that. But he was always getting into trouble which means I was always getting him out of trouble.” 

“Captain America getting into trouble? What a scandal.” You gasped, putting your hand over your heart and feigning shock. Bucky laughed, a real, throw your head back need to catch a breath laugh. You held your breath. He looked beautiful when he laughed, like for the slightest of moments the weight of his past actions wasn’t sitting on his shoulders. Like all of the preconceived notions people had of him just faded away and he was free to just be himself. You guessed that was what he must’ve looked like all the time all those years ago. But just as soon as it appeared, it was gone again, much to your displeasure. 

“Steve got into a lot more trouble than people think. He faked multiple enlistment forms for Christ’s sake. But he’s my best pal and I never once hesitated to help him out, super suit or not.” Bucky said, with more conviction behind his words than you think you had ever heard from anyone. “That’s one of the differences from the 40s to now, now Steve can kick enough ass on his own.” 

“I’m sure he still appreciates your help though.” You replied before you had a chance to think about what you were saying. 

“What makes you so sure?” 

“It’s better to go through life with someone, if you can. Friendships, especially like the one you and Steve have, are a rare breed. If I had one like that I’m not sure anything could make me let it go.” You said earnestly, again forgetting yourself. 

A silence followed as Bucky took in your response. He shifted so that he was facing you on the bench, he tucked one of his muscular legs under him and swung his metal arm around the back of the bench, resting it there. You felt his gaze burning into the side of your face so you decided to turn to face him as well, unprepared for how close the two of you were. Not close enough to be indecent but not faraway enough not to be either. 

“Are you normally this open as a journalist?” He questioned, bringing his black and gold metal hand to rest under his chin. 

“Are your normally this open to journalists?” You replied cautiously, but with a hint of teasing in your voice. 

“Touche.” 

You shook your head and rolled your eyes in response. Unsure if his response warranted any other kind of reply. 

“That’s another thing that’s different.” He commented casually, pointing to your expression. 

“What?” 

“How people communicate. Back in the 40′s we were just more upfront about things. There wasn’t all this reading between the lines nonsense.” 

“Well you also had polio.” You rebutted. 

“Okay, point taken.” Bucky said, putting his hands up in mock defeat. After about fifteen more minutes you felt like you finally had enough material. Looking at the notebook in your lap, you gave your notes one more once over before you closed it again. 

“Well, I think I finally have everything I need. Thanks for agreeing to meet me again Bucky.” You announced, placing your shoes back on your feet and standing up. 

“I should be the one thanking you.” He said, as the two of you began the trek back to the parking lot. It was only a short distance which you found yourself suddenly disappointed in, you didn’t want this to end. 

“What for?” You questioned, hiking your purse further on your shoulder. 

“Besides Steve, I hadn’t been that open with anyone for a long while. You’re a real gem, you know that?” 

You could feel a flush work its way across your own face now and you tried your best to hide it from Bucky but to no avail. You could see him grinning from the corner of your eyes. 

“Well, this is me.” You said breathily as you unlocked your car and threw your purse into the passenger seat. Bucky walked with you over to the drivers side and opened the door for you. As you got in he leaned against the top of the door frame, looking down at you with a look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. But you knew how it made you feel, you felt like hummingbirds were fluttering around in your chest cavity, begging to break free. You tried to catch your breath, hoping he wouldn’t hear your pulse quicken at his look. 

“When can I expect to see this interview of mine? Sam keeps pestering me about it.” He joked, still looking at you with those piercing blue eyes. You imagined he was looking straight into your soul, into your very being. It was unnerving and comforting at the same time. Seriously, what was it about this man? 

“It’ll be out in about two days but if you want I can send you it when we’re done editing, so probably sometime later today.” You guessed, doing anything to see him smile again. It was worrying the effect he had on you. 

“I’d like that.” He said with his head cocked to the side in mock contemplation, some of his black locks falling into his eye as he did so, making him look more handsome than you thought was humanly possible. God you really needed to get out of here. 

“Well, the sooner I leave the sooner you can see it. Bye Bucky, talk to you later.” You said, closing your door but leaving the window down in case he decided to grace your ears with another response. 

“Bye doll, looking forward to it.” He answered cheekily. Bastard. You pulled out and the moment you got out of the gate blasted your music on high. Anything to overpower the sound of your heart thundering in your chest and the wayward thoughts in your head. 

Taglist: @heatherhollowayst @perrythefrickinplatypus

[judithbutlersdealer]

favorite books of 2018

yes I know we’re halfway through January but time isn’t real

goals: read 30 books

don’t read white men/read everyone but white men

at this point I naturally gravitate towards books that aren’t about or by white men so this wasn’t a big issue for me, plus I didn’t have any strict restrictions about Not Allowing Myself to read white men at all or anything, because if a book is good then it’s good and if an author is good then they’re good! I don’t want to willfully rob myself of a good experience, my main objective was just to broaden my horizons and focus overwhelmingly on people who aren’t white men so GOAL ACCOMPLISHED

data ripped from my Goodreads page because I think it’s fun:

69 books

20,879 pages

shortest book: letters to a young poet (52 pages)

longest books: the unabridged journals of sylvia plath (732 pages)

top 10

I Can’t Believe You Just Said That by Danny Wallace

this book was great. Danny Wallace basically meets a Rude Man and it upsets him so much he just starts investigating the history of rudeness. so fun and smart and tender and amazing. I read this book while continuously failing my driving test because the guy who was doing the test was a notorious sadist and I was really just Going Thru It on all fronts and this book was actually such a breath of fresh air right in that period of my life. like yes some people are very terrible and there’s nothing for you to do about that and some people are very good, and you will probably meet an equal mix of both in your life and that’s pretty fascinating, all things considered. great stuff written by a great man.

white man?: yes but Danny Wallace is one of my all-time favorite writers and also human beings so!!! I can’t believe I have less than a year until I go to the same school he went to and move to the city where he lives!!!! what the fuck (please Danny Wallace if you’re reading this don’t get a restraining order I’m actually a quite normal and stable person I swear)

How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell

are you an opium memoir, alcohol memoir, or amphetamine memoir type of person? personally I love them all but I used to be an amphetamine person and now I can’t be an amphetamine person so I’m an amphetamine memoir person. I wish people would take this book (and all books like this) more seriously. I took it seriously and it was painful. very fast read, very fun, very sad. can’t ever watch Catfish ever again.

white man?: no

The Idiot by Elif Batuman

WOWWWWWWW this book. this book right here! this fucking book. it ripped out my heart and then fed it to me again. what is it about seeing your own home described so carefully & tenderly & lovingly & with such surgical precision by someone who’s an outsider there? idk but it makes life worth living for me. I’m still 100% convinced that Elif Batuman wrote this book for me, specifically. you guys get to read it and that’s cool because it��s a great book but it was written for me. thank you Elif!!! so generous.

this book punched me in the mouth then kissed me on the forehead then baked me a cake then got me drunk.

white man?: no

Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman

I still haven’t seen the movie, and that should tell you how much this book hurt my heart. it didn’t even hurt it as much as it moved inside it & lived there & probably will for the rest of my life. I read it while trekking through the Alps and also so deeply in love I felt like it would never go away (and it didn’t) and this book just Got It. it didn’t get me as much as it got the concept of love & desire & knowing yourself vs knowing someone else vs knowing the two of you together. the whole book is one long, breathless sentence. there’s a quote I sometimes use on my blog to tag stuff and it’s “desire is always leaving the door open” and that’s what this book is about.

white man?: yes

Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith

this is the book I’ll always read when I want to remind myself how much smarter I can be.

white man?: no

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

perfect book to read on a rocky beach on the Côte d'Azur in late August. equal parts glossy fun & thought-provoking. all in all I’m really thankful that Carrie Fisher found the strength to write as much as she did throughout her life, and I’m thankful that I found her books this year

white man?: no

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry

perfect Christmas break-read. this book is so different from what I usually read (I pretty much never read historical fiction & whenever I try I just can’t get into it) but something just drew me to it & I needed something to read while sprawled out on the couch post-Christmas dinner, so I bought it on a whim and I’m so glad I did! the prose was great, the characterization fantastic, and the whole premise of the book was just cool as fuck tbh. unnerving & sad & tender & so so so lovely. the ending was strange and perfect just like the whole book. makes you Think and Feel.

white man?: no

Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

perfect plane-read. perfect read for the end of a week when you’ve visited your extended family back home & you've interacted with so many people & they’re all so complicated in their own way & it’s all been a lot and you just want someone to look inside your head and go, look, I understand, here, have some spiked lemonade. this book did exactly that! everything in it is relatable. it’s like you do all these small things throughout the day, and then it turns out that someone has noticed them all and they have been writing notes on them and one day they finally show you, but in a non-creepy way. very smart book, very entertaining, makes you ponder stuff that you maybe used to think was insignificant.

white man?: no

Reborn by Susan Sontag

reading this while feeling manic and hopped up on like five cups of green tea and black coffee was an Experience. smart. sad. hopeful. intimidating. mostly, what this book did was make me feel a lot less alone. like there was a woman out there whose brain was also going 200 mp/h all the time and she was also constantly in search of intellectual simulation and nothing was enough and she knew she had things to say but she had no one to say it to, and she was afraid of the future just as much as she fetishized it, and she didn’t always feel the right things in the right situations but she somehow managed. and in the end she found ways to fulfill herself and she found ways in which she could excel and she found work that was satisfying (and I say this with zero intent of romanticizing anything about Sontag’s life). so maybe there’s hope for all of us who are constantly bouncing off the walls and always feel like we’re living behind a glass wall.

white man?: no

Secondhand Time by Svetlana Alexievich

definitely the hardest book to read of 2018. it’s so scary to imagine not just how much work Svetlana Alexavitch put into this book, but also how much it must have hurt her, emotionally, and how many times she must have wanted to abandon it all and lie down and just take a really long nap, because it was all so painful (or maybe she’s a much better and more productive person than I am and she never had those thoughts) anyways this was 100% a book where I was like, I hate all of this but I need to know these things so I’ll push through. everything my parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles have ever told me was in this book, except it was all jammed up on steroids. but I know I need to learn about and understand their history better, even if it’s super painful, especially because it’s super painful! and especially because it’s not my history. I’m so glad this book won the Nobel Prize & I’ll never listen to anyone who thinks otherwise.

white man?: no

comments:

I’m satisfied with myself, I read more than twice the amount I originally set out to read, I read a wide variety of genres and subjects, I read a lot of books I liked, I read a lot of books that have been sitting on my TBR for a very long time, I didn’t read too many white men!!! I originally made it my goal to read 30 books because I was balls deep in a horrible depressive episode in late 2017/early 2018 and I just fully couldn’t even read a chapter of anything without getting a panic attack, so 30 books was an ambitious but still achievable goal. it’s nothing compared to how much I read when I’m doing better, but I was really struggling back then and frankly I wasn’t even sure I’d accomplish this much, so I’m very happy with my progress. I also pushed myself to read books that were difficult to read for different reasons and powered through many of them, which I’m also proud of. the second half of 2019 is going to be insane, but I still want to set myself the goal of reading 40 books, which I think I can realistically accomplish in the first half of the year, if things really do get so crazy hectic that I won’t have the time to read AT ALL later in the year, which it hopefully won’t. but I think 40 is a nice and realistic goal. we’ll see!!!

ultimately, this was the year I explicitly decided that I wanted to be a well-read person, that reading a lot was an important priority in my life, and it’s important to me that I push myself to continue to read a lot, because 1) it makes me a better person and 2) it makes me happy. so deciding to challenge myself to read as much as possible and actually set myself reading goals and challenges and then invest time and energy in accomplishing them has been an important consequence of this year’s reading challenge and it’s definitely something that’s going to affect how I read in the future. OKAY NERD EPISODE OVER BYE

(big thanks to Muffy @whitegirlblog for the inspiration 🤓)

[thehyperromantic]

2nd POV Blank Name OCs are NOT Reader Inserts

Stories written from an OC’s POV in second tense are not Reader-Inserts. Stories written from an OC’s POV in second tense are not Reader-Inserts. Stories written from an OC’s POV in second tense are not Reader-Inserts

IF YOU HAVE A PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION FOR YOUR CHARACTER, IT IS AN OC They are not the reader, who is me. They are not the reader, who is everyone reading the fic.

IF YOU HAVE A DETAILED PAST FOR YOUR CHARACTER, IT IS AN OC It is not the reader, who is me. They are not the reader, who is everyone reading the fic.

It is okay and expected for a reader insert to have traits that I do not have. I am in a wheelchair. I may walk, but realistically, I cannot run. Most readers can. I am autistic, and the reader-character may react in more neurotypical ways than I do. That’s okay. In real life I have a weird name, and people will comment on it and ask how to pronounce it. But characters in reader inserts don’t ask me to verify it. That’s okay. In the story I may live with a vague caring parent, or drive a car, or have a healthy past. That’s all okay.

A reader-insert is a written story. It cannot give me multiple options like a visual novel does. It cannot choose my appearence nor can I choose my personality or history.

But what it does give me is leverage to insert myself into the story. Typically an Au!self.

But the more details you add, the more it breaks the mold. The more I feel like “this cannot be me, in any alternate universe”.

While blank names such as (y/n) or _____ are important for reader inserts, they are not the entirety of reader inserts. A blank name is not enough for me to delve into the illusion of a reader insert story. It’s only the top of the iceberg.

But if a blank name and second tense is all you have to call the story a “reader insert”, then the illusion is broken.  It doesn’t matter whether you tell me it’s me and let me use my name. This person is not me. If Agent of Asgard had a blank-name, would that mean it’s a reader insert? No. Because it’s obviously about Loki.

Just because it’s a blank name doesn’t mean it’s about me. Just because you use “you” doesn’t mean it’s about me, or any of the other readers. If you write in detailed details about their physical appearence, their past, their personality then the illusion is broken.

There are many people named Jessica. If I were named Jessica, and I read an OC with the name Jessica, and the story is written in first or second person, does that mean this character named Jessica is me? No. They are clearly, vehemently not me. I can read about them, but they are not me, the reader.

The entire point of a reader insert is to insert the reader into the story. A good reader insert will draw the reader in and, temporarily, let them live that fantasy. It is an illusion that has a delicate balance. It balances the reader-character’s personality with the reader’s  personality. The reader-character may be short tempered, they may be sweet, they may have a bad past or a healthy past, they may live alone or with roomates or family.

But they always, always have a vagueness to them. They do not tell me how to feel unless it’s relevant to the story. And usually, the good ones show me how to feel rather than tell me how to feel.

He held your pale hand in his. Squeezed it. You felt your heart racing. What could he be thinking?

“You see, the thing is...ever since  I saw you underneath the bridge, I’ve  been enamoured with you.”

‘He...was in love with me?’ you thought. ‘I’m not sure how I feel about that.’ A part of you wanted him. But a part of you was worried. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship. You run your fingers thru your hair, and the wind stires up your long hair.

Now let’s fix it up a tad.

He held your hand in his. Squeezed it. You  felt your heart racing. What could he be thinking?

“You see, the thing is...ever since  I saw you underneath the bridge, I’ve  been enamoured with you.”

‘He...was in love with me?’ you thought. ‘I’m not sure how I feel about that.’ A part of you wanted it. But a part of you was worried. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship.  You run your fingers thru your hair, and the wind stires up your hair.

Now, more.

He holds your hand in his. Squeezes it. Your heart races. What could he be thinking?

“You see, the thing is...ever since  I saw you underneath the bridge, I’ve  been enamoured with you.”

He was in love with you?  A part of you wanted him. But would your friendship suffer? You run your fingers across your head, and the wind stirs.

This is pretty darn good. But we can still change it even more if we want to:

He holds your hand in his. Squeezes it.

“You see, the thing is...ever since  I saw you underneath the bridge, I’ve  been enamoured with you.”

He was in love with you? A part of you wants him. But what about your friendship? You run your fingers across your head, and the wind stirs.

When we give the reader room to feel, we allow the illusion to take place. Your readers get to dive into the fantasy while still letting their au!self have their own feelings, which they now get to feel.

But when you do not achieve- or rather, even try- to maintain this balance, it just becomes a regular story. All fiction books contain original characters. All official characters are OCs. The idea behind a reader-insert is to draw the reader in and see the protagonist as themselves. Which means cutting down on that characterization to allow the reader to characterize themselves.

Even published books do this. Even published works have reader inserts, but they work very differently due to publication standards.

Remember Twilight? Of course you do. Remember how Bella was criticized for having “no personality”?

Guess why she had no personality. You get one guess.

That’s right! Because she was supposed to be a reader insert. But in the romance novel industry, reader inserts are really more like reader proxies. So you get undeveloped protagonists with their own name (because the publishers are NOT OKAY with blank names) who have a detailed past with no personalities so that you can put yourself into their place. Edward/Bella isn’t Edward/Bella, it’s Edward/Reader.

This setting works for some people. Some people are able to use proxies this way. Some people are just okay with reading them as underdeveloped OCs and are happy that way.

But not everyone is happy with that, which is why reader inserts developed. Reader inserts developed to give people a chance to hear characters say their names over a blank instead of over a name. Reader inserts developed so that they could be described as “you” instead of “I” or “he/she/” like most stories have in the past. Reader inserts were devoloped to counter OCs. And to support that counter, writers would lessen their descriptions of their readers feelings. An author knows how their OC feels, but an author doesn’t know how their readers feel. They’re entirely seperate individuals after all, and there are (hopefully) many of them. But then reader inserts became hype, and so youngsters in their self-insert/OC phase hopped on the blank name/second tense vote and now call these reader inserts.

If you don’t tag it correctly, then you’re misrepresenting the genre. It’s really hurting the reader insert culture by not tagging it correctly. It means I have to search and sort thru tons of fics of an entire different sub-genre just to find ones in mine. It also changes the way people who would actually like reader inserts percieve reader inserts. Can you imagine that there are people who love visual novels and hate reader inserts? Oh, they’ll date Thor in a visual novel. But in a reader insert? No way. These two are basically the same thing on different platforms: video games vs fully written word. They both contain second POV, chosen names, lots of reading, and being able to date the character you want. But for some people visual novels are lit and reader inserts are cringey. How could this be? I think it’s because people who make visual novels are more likely to take time and care in their work. Even using Ren’py takes a months of hard work to complete a demo (from what I understand). But when you’re typing on a computer, it all happens so fast. And people in highschool or below are less likely to revise their work. Ya’ll don’t give reader inserts the care they need, and it shows. Both works can be cringey. But reader inserts are judged worse because of the huge influx of kids making not only bad work, but labelling it incorrectly. It’s so easy to write what’s immediately on your mind and slap whatever tags and title you want on it.

And, I’m not saying that kids shouldn’t write. I’m 100% okay with children creating fanfics as a form of creative expression. But when children dominate a romance genre without caring about how their readers actually feel about their work, it leads to some problems. It makes the adults like the genre look bad, and it makes it hard for us to find the fanfics meant for us. It makes us feel disappointed that we can’t indulge in a genre we created.

So please. Please please please please please please please. Figure out what you want to write. Are they an OC or a reader insert? Whichever they are, and whichever tense you decide to use, give them the care they, you, and your readers deserve. And tag it correctly.

[mtnkat3]

Yeah.. gotta work on that yo-yo thing. Especially being affected by people like wh & my mom. Hard to keep my warrior crusty self wrapped around my marshmallow heart, to keep from being hurt. And of course the stress it induces.. I've had a really rough week with ibs. Trying to think about how to deal with it in the short term. Like psyllium capsules, salads, beans, & some grains.

But maybe now that got cobra fixed ... yahoo!😎 so I could get the right meds might help. And takes away one of the things majorly stressing me out.

So now onto things like my housing search. I'm thinking to do it properly, & that I've never rented, I probably need to invest into using a realtor to find a place. Sigh. But I need realistic goals & not the blingy stuff. What is important vs costs. Realistically, 700sq ft for <$1,000/mth would be great! But when I'm seeing such for $2k+.. & needing to find something in a good area.. a bit overwhelmed. Just so many things & tasks.

For a woman who's never moved but from parents, dorm & here.. then to rent. I'm looking at apartments because I can do short term, more places are accepting of elderly cat, & more places to look at. As much as I'd rather rent a small house or townhome just not many around. And $$$$. So also avoid debt as much as possible so as to save for my goals & dreams to come true!

Then.. I also wonder.. how my loves feel about it all. I know safety is something that you will be thinking about. So to not upset my loves I am making sure that's good too. Gates, locks, doors, security, etc.

Here.. I am always aware. Because wh will leave doors unlocked, when I think they are. Asked, do you have a safe place? No. Not even my bathroom. Heck, nor closet. Has been so well.. all along.

So yeah, I wanna think about the positive things, the good things, the changes I'm making & undergoing. To think about my future, goals, dreams, aspirations. To focus on those. And those things are what gets me thru my days.

I'd rather not seem like I'm venting, nor ripping into anyone. I just.. wanna make sure my soul's mates know what's happening. In the only way available to me.

Until the moment I get to dance into my loves arms.. get to feel him come up behind me in the kitchen.. shivery sigh.. closing my eyes.. my paradise. Seeing his eyes happy & full of love.. for me. To share my life with him. Those moments are the bliss my soul hangs on to. To soothe those world weary eyes.. it is my deepest longing.

I wanna love you with all of me.

To show you my love with the best of myself.

Why I pray to get my life right. To pray for God to help me to wake, to help me keep moving & not let the lethargy/exhaustion/depression take control so that I can accomplish all of my tasks. To work around the obstacles that wh is & get things done!

So now that I'm the warm seat for my cat.. I still work on tasks, like finding places to put on lists to call about. Trailers, housing, etc. Until everything is done!

And I can write you... I. AM. FREE.!!!

That moment...

It is a HUGE motivator for me.

Know what else...?

I wonder what you're doing.. how you are.. feel.. thinking.. do you think about how we will fit into each other's lives? I do. I think about the mundane to the extraordinary.

And.. I am & always will be.. your huckleberry.

I wanna cook, laugh, throw flour, have tickle wars,.. watch you brush your teeth.. think about how your beards grows.. how do you tend to it.. how long.. soft or bristly.. even watch you dress. Not spooky. More like.. how you move. Watch how the muscles of your body move.. yeah everybody puts on their pants & such the same. But. A person's body movements are like a fingerprint. Are actually even more individual than fingerprints.Heck, was used in MI:3,I think. Science & technology. The human brain. Fascinating to me. Blushing grin.

Ok. Sigh. Listen to csi:cyber whilst get some of my tasks further along.

I miss you terribly.

OMG how I miss you..

I love you beyond my own understanding. Much less anyone else.

I will never give up.

I believe wholeheartedly.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

I work whilst I await.. on my cliffside.

Your humbled, impatient, complex, warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

👩⚓🙏🙇‍♀️☔💡🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽🦅 🥧🍁🧣🥾🥤🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍎🍑🍒

🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵⌚⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎶💋

Sa.10.22.2022 9.09pm est.

[flameohs-blog]

Can you do a meta for Zuko on his Uncle Iroh, and the most significant lessons / pieces of wisdom that he learned from him?

META    ↪ ACCEPTING / @proditeur​​

ohh boyyy… i’m gonna have to do yet another rewatch to answer this to the fullest. i honestly don’t have the time to do that right now but i do want to answer this question since my muse for atla seems to be really strong these days. i’m gonna start by splitting this into different sections because i feel like there’s A Lot i could say. i hope everything flows and ya’ll can understand my ramblings lol

zuko & uncle iroh’s relationship

obviously when we’re introduced to the series, one of the first relationships we see is the one between zuko and iroh. u can tell right off the bat that they care about one another a lot, mostly u can tell from iroh more than zuko in the beginning until that changes later on. it’s def one of the strongest relationships we see throughout the series. i don’t rmr if the series explained why iroh had left with zuko after his banishment like whether that was thru iroh’s own volition or if he was driven out by ozai as well. either way, we all know that iroh thinks of zuko as a son after his own died.

i think that’s because zuko and iroh share similarities and iroh sees that. iroh sees the potential zuko has. in the beginning, zuko is an angry individual. he gets mad easily. he gets upset easily. he gets frustrated. we do see other parts of his personality and eventually we do see him change and he becomes more like iroh in a way. here’s the thing, though. while i do believe that zuko learned a lot from his uncle…

i’m going to argue that zuko learned a lot from everyone he ever interacted with as well. not saying that his relationship with his uncle isn’t important because, i mean, it IS. their relationship was introduced to us from the very beginning so of course it’s important. the thing i’m trying to get at is that although it was iroh who was there to guide zuko in a way on his journey, it was actually zuko who helped himself. iroh never rlly told zuko what to do with his life, it was zuko who figured it out on his own. it was zuko who realized his mistakes and learned from them and grew as a person.

zuko as an individual

i’ve written this on my other blog and i’ll say it again: zuko’s redemption arc works because he was never truly a bad guy despite his mistakes with the gaang in s1-2. zuko is written as the initial villain but that’s only cos he’s hunting the avatar who has been established as the protagonist of our series. he treats aang & co as his enemies BUT he treats other people just fine for the most part. and we see that from the very beginning like in the very first episode where he promises to leave the water tribe alone if aang goes with him or in a few episodes later where he foregoes chasing appa (+ aang) bc the most important  task at hand is getting his ship and his crew out of the bad weather and into safety. 

the only reason he’s chasing the avatar is bc in his mind that’s what’s gonna gain his father’s approval. and zuko in the first 2 seasons wants nothing more than his father’s love & acceptance & approval esp since his mother is no longer in the picture. and, you know, i’m sure zuko knows from an early age that his father isn’t the best person and nor is he the best parent but… all that is put aside simply bc of the fact that ozai is his father. they are blood related. and ppl can pretend like that doesn’t matter but when you’re young, when that’s all you have, it fucking matters. i can’t explain it well atm but children want the love & acceptance & approval from their parents. it’s normal. toph is another example of this, she wants those things but doesn’t have them. their situations in a way are similar yet manifests in different outcomes.

zuko’s drive to find the avatar and take him to the fire nation is only because of his desire for his father’s approval. but the thing is that zuko was always torn between his allegiance to his father and, idk, his allegiance to be himself. zuko is not like ozai or sozin or azulon. he isn’t like azula either. he doesn’t rlly share the same ideals they do in regards to the fire nation being #1 in the world or superior to other nations or however u wanna describe it. even if he didn’t get banished, i rlly don’t believe he’d turn into the type of person the previous generations of firelords were. i think ozai saw this in zuko and that’s why he favored azula over him. it was azula who possessed the traits ozai thought was important, not zuko. but what ozai considers weakness in zuko turns out to be his greatest strengths.

underneath all that anger in the beginning, zuko was always… kind in his own ways. and he learns to be open to change and growth. in season 2 when we see him free appa from underground and throw away his blue spirit mask, it’s supposed to symbolize this awakening/change in him. but in the end of season 2, he chooses to side with azula again because like i’ve said before his desire for his father’s approval is greater than his desire for… idk… whatever else. he’s still confused. as much as i wanted zuko to join the gaang earlier, it wasn’t time for him to. we had to wait until literally halfway thru book 3 to see that and it was a lil annoying cos i would have loved to see him join earlier so they could have all had more interactions but!!!!!! i truly don’t believe that zuko throwing away the blue spirit mask was enough, hence the betrayal at the end of s2. someone could be there to guide you or influence you but ultimately your decisions in life are your own. 

lessons zuko has learned on his journey 

a) episode 2x09 - bitter work

there’s a scene where iroh is explaining all four elements to zuko and how each element contributes to different nations’ idk personalities or culture or whatever. and i always thought that scene was beautiful bc iroh isn’t insulting other nations, he’s describing their strengths. and then iroh says: 

“it is important to draw wisdom from many different places. if you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. understand others–the other elements–and the other nations will help you become whole.”

like i honestly think zuko kinda already knew that but it was never worded to him that way. we see him also learn it on his own when he parts ways with his uncle and he’s off traveling on his own. zuko has also traveled the world for years after his banishment. there’s no way he’s out there thinking the fire nation’s beliefs are the only ones that matter. he’s learned a lot from his travels imo. about himself and about others. 

this is also the episode where iroh teaches zuko how to redirect lightning so, yanno, there’s that. in one of the earlier episodes, iroh reminds zuko about the breath and how that could save his life in the cold and also another time where he instructs zuko to break zhao’s root during a duel or whatever. so def iroh not only offers advice/wisdom thru words but also thru teaching zuko firebending.

b) episode 2x17 - lake laogai

imo this episode was Wild to me mostly cos of the confrontation between zuko and his uncle. zuko’s still thinking of capturing the avatar even though at this point he and iroh are fire nation fugitives and on the wanted list. zuko is still confused and torn between being true to himself and being the son his father wants him to be. it’s iroh’s words that honestly hit a lil too close to home for me too lmao. zuko says smth about how he knows his destiny and iroh says:

“is it your own destiny or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you? it is time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions: WHO are you and what do YOU want?”

like i’ve said before, zuko isn’t thinking about what he wants. or maybe he has but it’s not rlly a priority for him. his priority is still pleasing his father and the only way he knows how is to capture aang. he thinks that’s what’s gonna make him happy but…

c) episode 3x06 - the avatar and the firelord

obviously zuko isn’t happy. at this point he’s returned to the fire nation and finally has what he’s wanted for years: ozai’s approval. i’m not gonna say love cos i don’t believe for one second that ozai loved his son lmfao! and nor did he love azula but that’s another story for another day. anyways, zuko thought that “killing” the avatar would make him happy and being back home would make him happy but uh. he’s changed over the years. he’s still confused about what he wants vs what his father wants. 

it’s hard for people to break away from their families, man. it rlly truly is. we as the audience know that that’s what zuko has to do but honestlyyy how many of us irl are kind of in similar positions???? it’s hard to breakaway from family (the ppl who r supposed to support u) when you don’t have other strong connections and lbr zuko doesn’t. he had his uncle and he fucked it up. but anyway this entire episode was WILD and i loved every moment of it. it goes thru the story of avatar roku and his friend sozin. but the plot twist is that roku is zuko’s great grandfather which, tbh, i was not expecting at all LMFAO. maybe it was obvious to every1 else but, man, was i in shock lol. 

the lesson in this episode is that everyone is capable of being good or evil (as aang learns) but the other lesson is that this is kind of what finally pushes zuko to change. i mean he was never truly evil as we’ve seen in the past and he’s made bad decisions but it’s this moment that drives him to come to the goddamn epiphany that, no, he isn’t happy in the fire nation. 

d) episodes 3x10 & 3x11 - the day of black sun

zuko isn’t happy in the fire nation.his father needs to be stopped cos what he’s doing is wrong. and it’s a big fckn risk to defy the firelord and leave the comfort of your home behind… like what if the avatar & co don’t accept zuko into the group? it’s a risk but zuko knows what he has to do and has probably known it for a long time. it’s hard to BREAK AWAY BUT ZUKO FINALLY DID IT. and you know what!!!!!! when zuko stood up to his father and told ozai that now it’s his (ozai’s) turn to listen to zuko……… it was literally the BEST thing ever lmfao. here’s a part of what zuko says:

“i’ve come to an even more important decision. i’m going to join the avatar and i’m going to help him defeat you.”

zuko says “I’VE come to the decision” and i think that’s important cos he came to the decision on his own. like ya his uncle was there for him but honestly like… no one told him to do any of that!!!!! underneath that anger, this is who he is: a kind, compassionate person????? now i don’t even know what i’m trying to get at anymore but i guess just the way he says “but i’ve come to an even more important decision” just gets to me like. it’s important that he made his own choice and wasn’t coerced into it bc that makes his choices more real and genuine. if zuko wasn’t a good person underneath all that anger and bitterness then would he have done this? no, lol. the audience loves zuko’s redemption arc because he never truly bad on the inside, he made mistakes, realized them, made the active decision to do better and be better for others, and does that continuously thru s3 and we can assume after the series ends as well. zuko in s3 isn’t the zuko in s1 and we SEE that and that’s what we love abt his arc.

e) tea

isn’t zuko seen serving tea to every1 in the finale at the very end. like i’m sure iroh taught him how to brew the right cup of tea lmfao!!!!! idk much about diff types of tea but uh there’s diff temperatures u heat the water and how long u steep it and idk guess it’s an art huh

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

Another active list of ideas for me to update as they come to me. This one is all about Halloween Decorations/Haunted House ideas. I always prided myself in making a house people would find memorable, enjoyable and scary. Some of these concepts are basic idea that requires a little bit of setup and other are larger projects that may need the whole damn street to be on board. Have a read and let me know what you think OR if you have any ideas to suggest to my list.

Alien Crash Site

I always loved the crash landing decorations. They are rare and obviously take some effort to set up but if someone puts the effort in, they often come out looking like the best house on the block.

If I had money and time I would love to construct something like crashed Tie Fighter or Pelican (Halo) on the lawn but since those ideas are expensive, I am thinking to construct a UFO saucer out of aluminum or sheet metal with a little glass cockpit on top and maybe a rubber alien corpse on the lawn somewhere with dry ice for a smoke effect.

Best idea for a costume is a Men in Black look or a Hazmat Suit. We are there to cover up the alien sighting and make sure everything is transferred to Area 51 without being contaminated.

Effort: Medium

Chemical Spill

Chemical Spill has been an idea I been kicking around since High School. Men in yellow suits walking around with cannister and using metal tongs on both side to hold it. This would be more a skit then it would be an actual haunted house as we walk up and down the street with our gas masks only to drop the container and have the smoke (dry ice again) spill out into the area and the two of US flee in terror or act like we were dying from the fumes. This could be very fun and of course some people might not like the joke but fuck em. 

Effort: Low

Hogwarts

This idea feels simple enough; Brooms, Cauldrons, Floating Candles, School Spirit and so on. Harry Potter does well as an idea not because its so unique but rather because the world is so rich and it has become as big as Star Wars, Star Trek, and Lord of the Fucking Rings. This will excite the Potter Fans to see a house with the four houses of Hogwarts represented. While the initial idea is to keep it to one doorway to deliver candy, I also thought a Sorting Hat puppet might be cool leading the kids to different candy bowls representing the different chapters in the school.

It’s all really up in the air with lots of different ways to build the Harry Potter Haunted House. I would be excited to explore/do all of them over the course of a few years.

Effort: Low to Medium

Plants Vs Zombies

Perhaps a dated idea since the age of Plants VS Zombies is about 4 or 5 years behind us now. I still love the idea of placing 5 lawn mowers in a row, toss up some sunflowers with faces on them and create some defensive plants that are a throwback to the game.

This will take some effort as I will have to A) Burrow my neighbor's lawnmowers B) Build the plants from the game C) Make some dummy zombies to pull the whole damn thing together! The great thing is this is all work and very very little play. Rick’s Garage and the Quarantine Zone require a commitment to character, this is all about setting it up and letting people look at it and say. “Oh yeah, that was a thing once.”

Effort: Medium

Rick’s Garage

It should be noted I don’t look or drink like Rich Sanchez but when I want too, I can sound EXACTLY like Rick which I think is a great opportunity to troll some trick or treaters who come to my door.

Open garage, light on, stool out in the middle and me sitting there working on a new invention. Of course, there is a pickle on the desk and a large cardboard circle nearby with a light projected on it with a green lava lamp like effect to make it look like a portal.

The setup is simple enough and a treat for the fans of the show who will pick up the little easter eggs around the garage I would make IE the portal gun, the Plumbus, the butter bot, etc. Of course, the real fun would be acting like a dick.

*Clears throat for Rick’s Voice*

“Oh.. ohh another ninja, great. You look pretty pale to be Japanese. Just another white kid appropriating another peoples culture, huh?”

“You’re all really good parents. Filling your kids up with sugar when we’re the fattest country in the world. Say hello to type 2 diabetes for me.”

“Jesus a bunch of teenagers! I guess no one is getting laid tonight. Go home, watch a movie and do some dry humping until one of you works out how to lose your virginity in the most awkward way possible.”

Effort: Low

Wonderland Tea Party

The Wonderland Tea Party idea was something I came up with a few years back. Giant mushrooms, a long table on the lawn, and a few method actors playing Alice, the Teacup Mouse, Mad Hatter and me as the March Hare. Naturally, the insane people would be the Hare and Hatter talking crazy to one another across the table. Alice would be the go too person for candy being the only sane one at the table.

If the decorations were done right, I can easily imagine Cheshire cat smiling from the corner of the roof, a tiny door on a nearby wall and lots of other practical effects decorations to pull the scene together. This is another Haunted House/Decoration that really requires people to get into their roles while we have a tea party on my front lawn. I hope to find a girlfriend crazy enough to do this with me.

Effort: Medium

Quarantine Zone

This is something I been wanting to do most on the list. The Quarantine Zone is a nothing short of interactive Trick or Treat experience. A culdesac converted into a zombie outbreak zone. At the opening of the street, some rented chain link fences to block the sidewalks, a white quarantine tent and people dressed up as soldiers to hold the checkpoint. On the other side of the fence, the neighborhood has turned into a zombie epidemic with shamblers walking about, corpses on the lawn and other practical effects to give the end of the world vibe.

The Trick or Treaters come to the white tent where they meet a soldier who will be their escort to one, two or three candy houses. Using an air compressor we can blast them with air to make it seem like they are going thru a decontamination room. The soldier will use his airsoft gun (unloaded) to shoot a few shamblers who will drop to the grass as he leads them to some “safe houses” where some survivors are locked away and giving away king size candy bars. I always imagined one house could have someone who is bitten and slowly turning, another house could have a survivor who died but their candy bowl is still there (small candies) and the last house be a man or woman who is afraid to open the door but the soldier convinces the kids to yell trick or treat to let them know they are human.

I imagine how interactive this all would be for the kids and having the soldiers communicate with the survivors with walkie-talkies. Also having a few houses open where zombies can shamble in to take their break and let another actor step out to play the undead for a few hours. It's a dream and one which I love to have come true one day.

Effort: Very High

As always thanks the reading and feel free to share your own ideas or leave notes that I can add to my list.

Regards, Michael California

[freckliedan]

gravel to temple, what i need, and wanna be missed :)

gravel to tempo: have you come out to anyone? if yes, who was the first person you told? if no, do you want to? who would you tell first? yes i have! i’ve been out as varying-labels of not straight since 2013 to pretty much everyone, and i think teh first person i told was my best friend at the time? but i had really really supportive parents even before i came out so i knew they’d be chill and was able to just offhandedly mention in conversation that i was bi, and they were like “cool” & that was pretty much it as far as when i first came out?

i’m not out in most spaces as nb, just to friends and on this blog, but i think that my dad has kind of picked up on the fact that i’m like “MMMM gender? stinky” because he knows i have nonbinary friends and that i use the name den a lot and he’s been super affirming abt me being more androgynous lately. the first person i actually said anything about gender to was my best friend keerthi, bc they were talking about it and i was like.. me too shh and after that the first ppl i came out to were my gf & best friend & i kind of just quietly changed my pronouns on social media (except for facebook bc that’s so dead to me that i’m still bi on it & i haven’t id’d as bi for years).

also im like aggressively out as a queer lesbian in all of my classes and i WILL raise my hand to bring up relevant lgbt topics. multiple times. in one day

what i need: who are your favourite gay artists? what are your favourite gay songs?i fucking, love gay music and art, the indigo girls are my mothers who raised me so i feel like i’ve got to list them and as far as i’m aware there’s no lgbt ppl in the band the mountain goats but a lot of their music is something i relate intensely to as a queer person? 

but like re: music i listen to a Lot by queer artists? i fucking love janelle monae, i love mika, i love adult mom bc the singer is nb and it’s like. god its some moods and it’s like a genre of music i really love?, my best friend miles has a queer is holy playlist, i love harry styles w my entire heart, i don’t know very much of laura jane grace (of the band against me)’s music but sometimes i just need to scream-sing about pissing on the walls of shitty people’s houses, this is me & my gf & best friend’s playlist from pride this year, i love ben j pierce and hayley kiyoko and king princess,  this is a playlist by piper @asterlark that i believe is entirely lgbt artists?, piper’s pride playlist, my spotify playlist that’s just called GIRLS  i heard of them, and also my best friend keerthi makes music too and id die for them soo (sorry if this bit got long and off topic)

if i had to pick one (1) favorite gay song it would be hymn by kesha bc Fuck dude thats the mood

wanna be missed: how dependent or independent are you in a relationship? do you like a lot of space, or a lot of intimacy? how do you feel about electronic (vs face to face) communication?here’s the thing..the thing is i’ve been dating my gf for over 4 years now and had feelings for her for nearly a year before that and we were best friends before that and i mean we were nemeses  before that but we’ve known eachother since we were both 7?

so like idk it’s like.. we’re like dan and phil. the two of us have been together since we were 18 and so like! we can be on our own we’re our own people and we have parts of our lives that are separate from eachother but we always choose eachother? they’re my partner we’re a team and i’d always rather do something with her than without them and like. yeah. we still don’t live together bc of money so a lot of the time we’re in communication thru phonecalls and texting and snapchat and Everything bc even though we see eachother nearly daily we still miss eachother? so i guess i like a lot of intimacy but this is the only way i’ve ever known, you know? she’s the first person i ever dated and i’m the first person they ever dated & its just like! yeah. idk.  not to be that bitch but the reason i love dnp is bc their relationship feels exactly, exactly the same as me & my gf’s relationship & like! yeah! idk! i run out of words cos i’m so filled w love. idk.

it’s a unique n special kind of love when you get the chance to become an adult, like, grow into a person, alongside your best friend, the person who made you believe in love, maybe even the person who made you believe in soulmates even though you don’t really necessarily believe in souls.. like, i’m talking about me there but im definitely also talking about dan & thats why i love dan and phil so much n thats why i can’t really answer this question good! idk how to describe it to someone who hasn’t experienced it? bc it’s the only thing i know i don’t know how to relate my experiences to other experiences bc of that. idk!!!!!!! i love love. i’m going to stop talking now fsdjklfjsdkl

[rennyji]

July 12th tweets...

July 12th tweets...

- so yoga, meditation, and even prayer...in American culture seems flowery, "out there", for "air heads", or so cosmic that its out of reach...yoga and meditation and quiet ur mind over a period of time and make you more focused/alert, calm, and other benefits...-

- a good diet, good health, not obese body - can all influence your state of mind...powerful combinations...and then of course, there's prayer. I think I heard from Jim Carrey's Bruce Almighty movie, or Steve Carrel's Evan Almighty movie-that too in passing-that you gotta-

-understand how prayer works...for a miracle, it may take days or even years for something to happen. its about persistence. Persistence is a sign "you believe" and its been said, "if you believe, you can move mountains." "Belief" is an interesting thing. U can say you believe,-

- "feel" you believe, but how are you "showing" ur belief, or putting the state of mind where belief exists, into practice? You gotta take action to solidify and validate your belief. Persistence in prayer is one way - Against all odds and things the world tells you, U take the-

-time to show or apply your belief, to give the Universe confirmation of your potential. That persistence or application of belief, and other applications, are ingredients to making your prayer a reality. -

- so here, you have me talking about prayer...sounds like something from a priest...but I'm just a regular guy sharing my experience with a powerful tool...in past writings, I also mentioned its a way of putting something at the forefront of ur mind or to help you stay focused.-

- i gave examples of how if you wanna lose weight, saying/asking in silence for help in losing weight, puts it in the forefront of your mind. As a result, you will be more mindful of your eating habits. When you go for that chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, U will remember ur-

- goal from ur persistent prayer. As you go for that ice cream, u feel ur prayer's power of inflicting guilt over an action that is against ur goal. On the positive side, u will feel ur prayer's power of empowering u 2 make a healthy choice thru constant reminding of ur goals. -

- but going back to the movies, Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty, something directly or indirectly from the comedy movies brought to mind, how does prayer work? Does God or the Universe give you what you ask or the opportunity to attain what you ask?-

- If God were to give everyone what they wanted right away, would it be good for the world? I mean everyone would ask to win the lotto, and then because everyone won the lotto, $10 million or whatever loses its value in the world. Things will cost more money. There are variables-

- like that in the universe to consider. When you ask God or the Universe for something, you state a need or a desire/"a want." But how many times, do we as human beings know what we want or even need? It can be a process? But God, or the Universe, an All Knowing Force, knows-

- b4 you were born, what u'll need/want. He waits for us to figure it out. He wants us to know what we want and need. He wants us to practice “mindfulness.” God, in Christianity, is the Heavenly Father. Like a dad or a papa. In this world, we have the power of choice and free will. We all have potential. As the human beings are the children of what's Divine,-

- our Father sent His children into the world to mature and grow up. Its like parents who prep the way for their kids/offspring to venture out into the world. There comes a time to become independent. We need to use our experiences and intellect to grow up and make our Father-

- or the Universe proud. U've heard life is a journey. Well don't focus so much on the destination, but on what you have to do to progress in your journey. That's where prayer and truly knowing what you want/need ties in. It's a process. U'll ask to be rich in the same way kids-

- are after toys and chocolate soft cones from Carvel. But your parents will get it for you, if it's good for you, and may deny it to you, based on financial circumstances or out of consideration for your discipline and well being. -

- so when you ask to be rich, your Heavenly Father, or "The Universe", wants to know if you "really want that." If you really want that, you'll incorporate the appropriate disciplines and do the needed things like aiming for a job or a business. So one of the questions that -

- arise: Do you truly want what you're after? How are you showing it or proving it? You can learn from comedy movies like Bruce/Evan Almighty that God doesn't always directly give what we ask for, but at times, gives "The Opportunity" to attain it. -

- you'll ask to be rich. After showing that you really want it, you'll be endowed with opportunities to attain it. Those opportunities can come in the plainest or simplest of ways. U know you want to be rich. You may suddenly get the idea to talk with someone about it or Google-

- you'll ask to be rich. After showing that you really want it, you'll be endowed with opportunities to attain it. Those opportunities can come in the plainest or simplest of ways. U know you want to be rich. You may suddenly get the idea to talk with someone about it or Google-

- passion. At this point, something as general as "make me rich" in prayer can evolve to: make me get admission into a good engineering program. That's where that age old notion of "you do your part and God will take care of the rest." You study for your entrance exams. -

- somehow someway you may get questions on these ridiculous exams that you are able to answer. Your part is to study and take the exam. If entrance into a good school is appropriate for that part of your life, God will give you the focus, engaging answerable questions.-

- so you took your exams and got decent enough grades. now in the evolution of "make me rich" prayer, you gain the opportunity for an interview. If its meant for you, suddenly you'll be articulate or you may get an interviewer you can click with, and things progress from there.-

- on another note, maybe u didn't get the grades u needed for your entrance exam. Perhaps you feel you couldn't focus, you couldn't process information as u'd like to. That could be a way God or the Universe open ur mind to tell you, you need meds or supplements 2 help U focus.-

- or maybe nothing like that is the solution and God may use that instance of a poor exam grade to tell you your circulation is terrible and needs to be fixed. Then, through exercise, diet, or some circulation enhancing option, you may find a way to increase oxygen to the brain,-

- and suddenly you can not just focus, but get the grades you need. Life is complicated. There are many variables that, we as human beings, need to work through. From wanting to be rich to getting into a good career path, so many obstacles may arise. That's that thing about -

- life being a journey, focusing on the journey, rather than the destination. If u think about being rich all day, then ur simply day dreaming. That's the destination and don't just daydream about destinations. Focus on all the variables to get to your destination: the journey.-

- keeping your goal in mind ( to be rich or whatever), you ask for that in prayer, then evolve your prayer as you realize what you need on ur journey to get to your destination. So we go from: help me be rich, to help me find fiscal opportunities to be rich, I realize I'm good-

-with tech so help me get into a good school to be an engineer, help me prepare for the entrance exams, help me fix myself where needbe to ace the exams, help me get a good interviewer, help me speak, help me on top of my classes once ur in the school, help me graduate, help me -

- land a good job opportunity, help me learn from this business and start my own...through the evolution of prayer and mindfulness, a path displays itself to make money to live, if nothing else, a comfortable life. 

-UNLESS you have a totally improbable scenario where the law doesn’t work, something’s restricting relationship/job opportunities, making people one team vs you on another (in ideology/action/awareness/whatever), your world lacking compassion...then you have the blessing of the natural way of life in all its abundant readily available blessings and opportunities. with the exception of one extremely rare case, since the creation of the universe, everyone has the privilege of the natural way of life. take advantage of it and be who you were born to be.

- but a morning thought...