#thinking about elemental of earth and he makes me so so so fucking sad

[zorkaya-moved]

all natural disasters might be monstrous in their own way (criminals, manipulators through religion and belief, liars and actors, cowardly once-heroes, overindulgent actors, greedy figures etc.), but they... value humanity the most.

out of everyone. because they're so close to crossing the line but because of that they are SCARED of crossing the line. they cling to humanity through whatever means they can. bonds, indulgences, money, family, friends, anything. it doesn't matter. whatever THEY see as humanity, they'll cling to it. because deep down, they're afraid they'll lose their humanity. it doesn't matter how strong they are. they don't want this power, they don't want to use it to its full potential, they don't want to [lose themselves].

they envy 'normal humans' who do not have mutations. they envy those who aren't as affected by the mutation. they want to be [normal] but they are also unable to ever be normal because they are not normal from the beginning. even without their mutation, they'd still be... abnormal. natural disasters are the 'we are the most op beings in this world but we will not use our powers to its limit because it means sacrificing myself and I ain't doing this fucking shit, fuck you @ world and expectations'.

that's why whenever an elemental of natural disaster actually is pushed beyond the point of no return? it's awful. they're broken. they're destroyed mentally. and if they give up on life? they're dead. but if they are stubborn enough to still fight for life despite the pain? they may survive. they may, but... would they really wish to live in a way they would if they are to go through metamorphosis? no. any elemental of natural disaster would rather die in the most painful way than survive after metamorphosis. all of them, but... they don't know what's after metamorphosis. they don't, but they would've hated every single second of it because then they would not ever be able to return.

[almayver]

Alma dear, you’ve said that you’ve been on the jealous peem train for a long time. How do you think he’d act? What are the most juicy scenarios you can conjure with jealous peem?

Hey Cole! So yep, i’ve been in the Jealous Peem train for months now, but the funniest thing is I actually have no concrete idea?

Because the thing is, I don’t think Peek would know how to act either. He has probably only ever felt like mild envy towards Qs talent and things like that, but this? This has this weird tint of possessiveness to it that I don’t think he would know how to handle. And I think that’s what would make it interesting. Because you know our boy loves open communication, but it's hard to communicate when you don’t fully understand your feelings and when you feel like you shouldn’t be having them, right?

Ok this turned into a full-blown rant and doesn't make total sense but, putting it under the read more so I don't put a wall of text in the tag

So exploring that, I also believe it would be very specific. Like someone says that Phum is handsome and/or compliments him? Yeah, Peem at most rolls his eyes because yeah his boyfriend is the most beautiful person on earth, and he is great, those are just facts, actually more people should be saying it. Someone flirts with Phum? Well that’s just funny to him, they would probably make Phum flustered and Peem loves to tease his boyfriend. Also, he is just so secure on his boyfriend’s feelings that the fear would never be that Phum is going to leave him or find someone better. So what would make Peem jealous?

Well, jealousy at its core is about insecurities, right? So possible scenarios here that would make Peem feel weird (jealous Peem, you feel jealous)

The first one is a soft, fluffy friendship one! Peem is very much someone that is very good at comforting people, and with the comment of “You made me feel I couldn't be your comfort zone” we know how important that is to him, specially with Phum. But maybe down the line Phum feeling like shit for whatever reason and Q is the one to comfort him for some reason, maybe Peem is busy (I'm never leaving the Q-Phum besties agenda, I live there actually). And the fun element here would be the warring emotions of being so fucking happy that not only two very important people in his life are so close and comfortable with each other, but also the fact that this means Phum is not lonely and has so many people in his corner and that is the best thing he could hope for.

But. But there is this weird thing in his head that feels weird, this pure want of being the one that comforts Phum, the one that knows exactly what to say to make him feel better. And I think he would have that spiral of “what if I'm not good enough support for him, what if I'm a bad boyfriend, am I a bad friend and boyfriend for even thinking like this”. And he is maybe a little bitter, but he hates feeling like that. Eventually of course both Phum and Q would notice and be like “dummy, come on”, Q would probably actually call him dumb, while Phum would just go full puppy eyes and reassure him and also say something like “Honestly Q mostly calms me by talking about you.”

Ok got sidetracked by friendship feelings there sorry not even sure if that counts as jealousy, but I had to get that scenario out there

The others would be a bit more classic silly jealousy, I think.

So the second one that came to mid would come from how different their fields of study are. Imagine Phum working on a project being very excited talking about it (I was going to give an example, but I did 5 years of engineering and I still have no clue what civil engineers do so idk vague project it is) and it all sounds like Greek to Peem and Phum is scared that he is boring him so he stops rambling about it. But then Peem sees Phum talking with other engineering students, and it's just *sad kitten noises* because he doesn't know enough to talk like that with his boyfriend, and he is jealous of everyone that gets his attention in this very specific way that he can't get. (He later realizes that Phum feels the same way when he talks with Q about art and throughout their relationship they both just learn to listen to the other talk even when they don't fully understand and accept that the other just likes to hear them talk about things that they are passionate about)

The final one, tho? That's the one i crave. Because you know what I think would make Peem weirdly possessive and go all “MY puppy”? Someone making Phum laugh.

Phum, mister “casual small smirk 90% of the time but when I fully smile it looks like the sun came out”. They are maybe out in a bar or a party or whatever, and Phum goes for drinks or something and Peem is talking with the group about something when he hears Phum's laughter. And he stops and perks up like a meerkat because I'm sorry what. That sound normally only occurs when Phum is near him what is happening, something isn't right in the universe. And he looks towards the direction of the sound a Phum is cracking up because of some stranger and Peem is SEETHING, and he doesn't understand why, but he is angry and bitter and petty (everyone in the group is completely amused, they have never seen him like this)

But how would he react to that weird bitter feeling? Because i feel like even with the jealousy, he would never be mean or rude to someone that isn't doing something wrong. And also he wouldn't accuse Phum of anything because he knows that he would only feel sad. So I think he would go the other direction and basically do the equivalent of marking his territory. Like he suddenly ups the devoted attentive boyfriend thing to 200%, and he turns into a clingy koala. And he just keeps trying to make Phum smile and laugh because dammit, that pretty smile is his thanks. That is his personal sunlight, thank you very much. (Phum is delighted and just keeps smiling like the sun which just makes Peem want to make him smile even more, its a very fun cycle) But idk, that's a possibility.

(There's another more elaborate scenario that keeps bouncing around in my head that maybe ill turn into a fic but if it stays a half formed idea ill throw it in your inbox dear)

...that was A LOT. Thanks for sending this ask Cole that turned into a fun thought experiment.

[didhewinkback]

the beholder

a something old blurb, re: vienna night 2

---

He could hear you before he could see you and not just because of the cold compress he had pressed to his eye.

He reckoned everyone backstage could hear you.

The way you were cursing up a storm, getting louder and more passionate as you went on. He caught the tail end of a “fucking unhinged cunts -” before you were stood there in the doorway, panting slightly, face twisted up in worry. 

“Baby, I’m okay -” he started to say, trying in vain to assure you before you make your way over to where he’s propped up on the medic table, your eyes darting all over his face as you gently reach a hand up to brush his hair away from his eyes. 

“Don’t placate me,” you say with a frown.  “It looked like it fucking hurt.”

He smiles in spite of himself. Leave it to you to instantly call him out on his bullshit. 

“It did,” he says with a grimace, the sharp pain replaying in his mind as he adjusts the compress. “‘S better now but it came out of nowhere ‘nd it was sharp. The medic doesn’t think anything got scratched but she wants to check again after about 15 minutes of ice.”

“I’m going to fucking kill them. What kind of selfish, entitled dipshits –” 

He’s unable to stop the snort that leaves his nose, always in awe of the way your anger leads to the most creatively worded insults. He’s not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch, but if there’s any benefit to this, it’s getting to be on the receiving end of the ferocity of your love. 

His chest warms at how protective you are, the knowledge that if you could, you’d move heaven and earth to make sure he’s safe. It’s new, this feeling of being cared for. It’s something you’ve done for him throughout your friendship but it’s deeper now with the level of intimacy you’ve nurtured over the last three years. The way you’re softly brushing back his strands of hair with your fingers, your other hand resting on his chest. Your love for him is palpable, he can feel it in the air, in your touch, in your gaze and if he thinks about it too much, he’s going to cry. 

“Can I see it?” you ask softly, your hand drifting down to the compress, just resting over it. 

He shakes his head. “Doc said I gotta keep the ice on uninterrupted. But she did give me other tips for eye injuries that ’m going to need your help with.”

“Anything, H. You know that.” You look so sincere, so deadly serious that he has to school his face to match. 

“It’s a two person job, she said. Can be quite intense.” he says, the corners of his lips twitching up in anticipation of what he’s about to say. “She said ’m going to need lots and lots and lots…of sex.”

“You absolute fucking wanker.” 

“‘S what she said! Doctors orders and all that, it's supposed to really help with eye injuries -”

“Here I am genuinely scared and worried for you and you’re being an utter twat -”  

“Never expected you to be anti-medicine -”

“I’m going to flick you in the other eye at this point.”

“Heeey.” he says, giggling along with you. It’s a minute or two before your laughter dies down, your face falling when he grimaces. 

“Y’ don’t have to be worried about me, baby. ‘M fine.” he says, desperate to get that sad look off your face. “Could have been a lot worse.”

“I don’t like thinking about that.” you say quietly, and he can’t help but inhale sharply, your words hitting him straight in the chest. 

It’s already difficult enough to grapple with the dangerous elements of his job - if he thinks too much about it he’d never leave his house - but to know that you struggle with those same fears is enough to make his heart give way. 

You both exist in silence for a few moments, minds whirling. The ice starts to get at his hands, making his fingertips freeze and he slides his hand off the compress, only for it to be replaced immediately by yours. 

“Excuse me!! What part of uninterrupted means you can pull your hand away?” you scold.

“M’ hand’s cold.” he grumbles, sliding it around your waist to pull your closer, fingertips snaking  up the hem of your shirt, smirking when you sudder at the sensation of his icy hand on your skin but you don’t pull away, only stepping closer to him so he can pull you in even tighter. 

“I got it,” you say, softly, gently, firmly, as you adjust the pack on his eye. “I got it.”

He knows you mean more than the ice pack, knows you mean him. You’ve got him. How lucky is he. 

He uses his free hand to grab at your hand that’s been laying on his chest, rubbing soothing circles and pulls it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently before interlacing your fingers and laying them on his chest. Content to lie there and let himself be taken care of for once. 

You’ve got him. You always have.

---

i am 1000% not trying to dramatize or romanticize the object in the eye throw but i havent written anything in ages and this poured out of me i know i have requests waiting but it has been such a struggle !!!!! and i just really needed to get something out, this writer's block has kicked my ass. hope u like it and dont think this is too weird perhaps i will delete

taglist:@tobesolovelysstuff, @louyoursins, @daydreamingofmatilda, @jojo-blog53, @marzhshaim, @devilsqueen722, @just-happiness-only,@lomlhstyles, @feestyles, @spock4presidnet, @sunshinemoonsposts, @indierockgirrl, @jerseygirlinca, @kissitnhekitchen, @goldnrry,

[gomacave]

I have some questions for you about advent children which are

1-What do you think of Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj?

and

2- How gay is it, what do you think about sfkr in that film?

YESSS OKKKK this is gonna get sooo fucking long buckle up

I FUCKING LOVEEEEE THEMMMMMMMM THEYRE SOOO 🫶🫶🫶im like omg the sillies...! one second and then the next second im like.

LITERALLY. KADAJ MAKES ME SO FUCKING. SAD. doomed from the beginning. pulls all my hair out and vomits. seph was propped up as a false messiah and kadaj was propped up as seph its like. both of them are denied legacies and identities because of how trapped they are by the circumstances of their birth. like their births determine the trajectory of their lives AND ITS ESP TRAGIC CUZ THE TRIO R LITERALLY LIKE THREE DAYS OLDDDD.... seph was a grown ass adult and could have chosen to resist at any time but kadaj is a three year old teenager. kills msyelf. what do you fucking do hes the smudged charcoal on the other side of a drawing thats already an imitation of something from life. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION BRO NOT TO MENTION. THE WAY HE DIED. CLOUD HOLDING HIM UP PIETA STYLE WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELFFF GRRAHHH. offered mercy by ur executioner after being used as a vessel for a battle much larger than you that swallowed you up. the biblical allegory goes crazy bc the same way jesus was born to die i believe kadaj was born to die. the narrative requires him to die for cloud to have his rematch and to become a vessel for cloud's metaphorical demons (sephiroth)

i also rly like the idea that kadaj is more human/childlike than seph and post ac au when seph returns she returns with memories of having been kadaj. with all the insecurity and teenagedness and rawness of being removed from a godly existence. (in a similar way to where some ppl believe jesus/god in christian belief incarnated as a human to know what it was like) And also with the memory of being held by cloud in that way 🤠👍

Also @dykesferatu has a big brain beautiful interpretation where kadaj contains elements of cloud (the insecurity, desire for (motherly) validation, desire to prove himself etc) and is proof that seph contains elements of cloud the same way cloud contains elements of seph (s cells and stuff) I LOVE IT A LOT... THEYRE MIXED UP..... They're forever leaving scars and parts of themselves inside each other... Guh....

Loz and yazoo r so cute and cunty also.... I wish we had more of them :oT id ego and superego if they slayed....

2) ok time to go crazymode. ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!! ITS GAY!!!!!! ITS GAY AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My godddd. The geostigma thing is so fuckinh gay acting like its a hickeyyy 😭😭😭😭😭 "you got rid of it 😈?" GIRL. ITS A DISEASE NOT A HICKEYYYY THEYRE SO WEIRDDDDD sephs obsession w leaving her mark on cloud is insane (she is the mark) also casually confessing that she wanted to sail the universe with a barren earth w cloud specifically is so 🤮🤮🤮 GAY SEX WOULD BE LESS GAY. God. The way she sounds turned on by cloud getting stronger 😨😨😨 like howd u get so strong <333 and clouds like stfu none of ur biz LIKE HELLO??????

God also ac idea that seph can only come back through cloud is so. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Guhhhhhhh... GUGHGGGHHH... LIKE WHEN SHE STARTED GOING OFF AB THE GEOSTIGMA I WAS LIKE BITCH STFUUUU WE ALL KNOW WHY UR GAY ASS IS BACK. Thematically ac works well for me too. Not in a way where i think it directly is connected to the og game but its a good addition. I believe that seph will always come back (in some form) because shes a metaphorical wound on cloud. And wounds may heal but they still generally scar and ache and never really go away fully. So cloud has to learn to live with her. So im a sephiroth always comes back truther. Until they reach a truce or equilibrium of some sort. (Preferably this equilibrium involves them kissing) I love divorced vibes they give off too where this godlike angel of death comes back bringing destruction and this guy's like "🙄🙄🙄 ughhh fucking you again. GO AWAY" DIVORCEDDDDDD!!!!!

[crepesuzette2023]

What’s a fic that made you cry ?

Thank you for asking—and for immediately sending me off on a brief 'meta' slingshot trajectory around my own navel! (Don't worry, I'll answer your question.)

Your ask reminded me of the fact that I almost never cry over stories. I either enjoy them, or I'm shaking with rage, if they're too painful. For a story to hit the sweet spot of undiluted sadness, of simply being moved, without spouting angry tirades in my mind trying to argue with the sad events of the story, is pretty special.

For this reason, the stories your ask made me think of are among my favorites. Sorry if I mentioned some of them before, but here we are.

(I'll mention some spoiler-y and hopefully brief explanations under the cut.)

Miracle Worker by @scurator. Still Mates by @pauls1967moustache. The late, great, johnny ace by @midchelle. Coast Starlight by bookofapril. All I Know Since Yesterday by RedheadAmongWolves.

I guess what the three quote unquote saddest stories in this list have in common, to me, is that they're a big, noble Fuck You to the ultimate adversary, everyone's final lover, the great oblivion, etc.: Death—while at the same time summoning its inevitability. It will get you, even if you love a Beatle. Even if you are one.

So, you better hold on tight and make the most of it while you can (she says, typing these lines on tumblr while seizing the fuck out of her instant coffee flavor).

Miracle Worker is about Paul and Robert Fraser making love after John's death. It's about death, and fading physical beauty, and the untarnished beauty between them. The guttering flame. Yes, it's very hot, and both sad and invigorating—like a good cry, but without the ugliness of anything as overt as crying.

Still Mates is about Peter Asher giving himself permission to reject a life of politely closeted desire by sleeping with Paul, his sister's ex, in '68. It's a story about courage, and the ability to face who you are and who you want. I'm sorry for sounding like a movie trailer. It's also a fantastically realized outsider's perspective on the beauty of J/P turning ugly, and on the mystery surrounding this legendary relationship—the elusiveness of Paul's soul is in striking contrast with Peter's hot but mundane physical closeness to Paul, the man.

The late, great johnny ace is a ghost story that denies being a ghost story, but at the last moment can't resist reaching for comfort. (At least that's what I choose to believe.) Paul, George and Ringo make a record in 1981. Paul writes Here Today. The ghost is John. The 'at the end of all things' atmosphere is shattering, but the music in Paul's soul, and the surviving bonds of friendship, and, just possibly, John's ghost, prevail.

Bonus: crying/tears without sadness

Sometimes a story is so beautiful it makes my eyes well up with it.

Coast Starlight is about a world where Paul and Robert Fraser are together in the 70's, and they're vacationing on Fire Island, and they fuck a lot, each other and others (together), and it's fine. More than fine. It's heaven on earth. As I said before, I really can't do this story justice. The relief (what a weak word) I felt in the end, when Paul realizes he can let go of his burdens and be loved for who he is (by Robert, who is giving this to him), nearly had me speaking in tongues of the awesome power of fiction.

All I Know Since Yesterday is about two teenagers in love, without either of them having told the other. They're sheltering at one of their houses after being caught in a rain storm, and dream about the future. A future with each other. And, finally, they kiss. The teenagers are John and Paul. And what I love about the story is that you feel throughout that this is the beginning of something big. The kiss is both sweet and elemental.

[halfetirosie]

For the character meme: How about Eiden?

Here we fuckin go, it's Protag-Appreciation Time!

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Eiden ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

First impression

Relatable King! So damn likable!!! I wanna be best friends with him!!!!!!

Take notes, game developers everywhere! THIS is how you create a relatable character that’s actually interesting and doesn’t have as little personality as an unsalted Saltine cracker!

Impression now

PROTECT THIS MAN!!! He is so silly and so precious!!! ♡♡♡

The more I learn about Eiden, the more I like him! It will never NOT be funny how many different part-time jobs he’s had, it will never NOT be funny how horny he is 24/7 (literally me). I also greatly appreciate how creative/artistic he is, from his music-writing skills, “toy” design, and even clothing design! What the hell, he’s so talented! Blessed by the gods! I’m jealous!!!

Favorite moment

Can an entire event count as a “moment?” I love how in the Rainy Season event, Eiden gets to actually fully converse with Topper and Father!

Also, during this same event, you know that part when Eiden goes into Rei’s memory? This little exchange lives in my memory rent-free:

It’s short, it’s sweet, it’s sad, and it hits me right in the heart.

Idea for a story

I mentioned this in my Edmond post, but I have an Eiden/Edmond fic planned for sometime in the future! In the fic, Edmond will accidentally gain an animal companion. The fic will be told from Eiden perspective, as he watches Edmond grow his relationship with his little friend. I haven’t decided if it will include any NSFW elements, but if it does, the animal friend may or may not encourage Edmond to spend quality time with his “mate.” :)

Unpopular opinion

This might be more of an unpopular headcanon than an unpopular opinion, but I refuse to believe the theory that Eiden is a fragment of Huey (and that Rin is the other half). Absolutely not!!!!

If I’m being honest, this is moreso just wishful thinking/heavy denial on my part. The support for that theory is, objectively, fairly promising so far. But unless it’s explicitly spelled out for us, I vehemently refuse to believe it.

Why, you ask? Because I am a proud member of the Huey Haters Club!!!! Fuck Huey, all my homies hate Huey!!!!! But I like Eiden, so I do not want him to be directly associated with the original Huey’s literal soul. Being Huey descendant is fine, or maybe even an alternate version of Huey from the Earth dimension (à la NU World), but NOT Klein’s original Huey!!! Please, I am begging and praying!!!!!

Favorite relationship

His relationship with Edmond, because I’m predictable! 

Favorite headcanon

Eiden has a FUCKton of suppressed rage. Like, we have seen angry Eiden at certain parts of the story (especially the early parts, like when he’s meeting Kuya and Dante) and during events. We also know from childhood flashbacks that he was a grumpy and angry kid. However, I think that’s only scratching the surface.

You know how several of the clan members have repressed their sexuality? I think Eiden represses the full extent of his anger. He has dealt with so much shit his entire life, he’s probably boiling with fury, but he’s learned not to express it because it’ll only make things worse for him. So, while he's well-adjusted an mature for the most part, I think there's a big hidden side of him that's itching to FIGHT, y'know?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Nov 2022 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 1 of 12 - It got hot and heavy way faster than expected. With DeanPharm the side couple, I just want more of them like I did with WinTeam in UWMA. But yeah, it’s VERY good, thank fuck. WATCH ALONG HERE. 

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 6 of 8 - How can this dumb little pulp be so good? Also P’Nine? I will heal your broken heart. The brother zone is rough, baby. The thing about this damn drama is all of the characters are honestly motivated and act in accordance with their personalities. I think that’s mostly why I can’t stop watching. Loved the scene with Yai and his ma-in-law-to-be. Also, nice stinger! That’s one way to come out. Look this was a REALLY engaging ep. 

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 14fin - I really did not expect this show to end on this note. Ah Earth with the crying. I did expect the final episode to be family drama-llama, but this kind of drama didn’t work for me under the context of a BL. I do love the siblings. (There’s a part of me that wanted Prem’s character to be Team. This could work as Team’s back story.) All in all? I found it disappointing. Conclusion: This is a strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still, RECOMMENDED. 8/10 

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 7 of 10 - Nothing continues to happen and exactly nothing will and yet I keep watching. Probably because the nothing keeps getting shirtless. 

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 6 of 8 - Cute bfs are cute but... NO SINGING. Adorbs but sad GL side plot AKA dead lesbians got a nod. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 5 of 12 - JaFirst are just great on screen together, I am very invested in their couple but, yeah, no one else. The stuff with Name was really difficult to watch, but Title is a GREAT little actor. 

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 13fin - Ultimately? Sky needed a therapist not a stalker lover, but whatever Mame. DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH COMPLETED HERE. I gave it a very reluctant 7/10, recommended only if you know you like this kind of thing. Look you remember in high school drama class where they make you “envision a basket, and put all of your worry, bad mood, and anxiety into that basket, and leave it outside the door”? Well, in order to enjoy this show, you have to do that, only with your morals. Some people have bigger baskets than others. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 6 of 12 - I do like a little jealousy from the dentist. Yet another installment in this week”s “please get that uke to a therapist” only this time (unlike LITA) our seme actually gives it an honest try. I might be completely and totally in love with the dentist. I adore how stern he gets, plus he has a very strong white knight tendencies. Also baby boi wanna-bartend with the big-ass crush is giving me life. 

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 4 of 8 - Am I the only one who JUST realized the actor playing Koichi is Komiya Rio who played Tanaka in Takara & Amagi? I’m so slow. Look all Japanese BL (even the most fluffy nonsense like Kabe Koji) is a little bit emo and exists in a sideways state. It’s gonna go into uncomfortable and uncanny spaces. It’s what it does. This one, given its psychological horror elements, is even more uncanny, to the point of creepy. I’m not a big fan of creepy, and yet I like this show. Japanese zombie incubus? Yes please. Look, I’m utterly unable to back away from the pun, and so: I see seme stiffie can get a stiffie. Puns aside? This was a killer first-time sex scene for something relatively low heat. I’m reminded of Shin’s tongue. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one does thirst like Japan. Korea and Thailand can have a winsome yearn-off, and Taiwan is great a pining, but Japan? Japan brings the Thirst. 

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 3-4 of 10 - I love this show so much. It made me tear up and then in the second part I was laughing my ass off, because the cat was trying to teach the dog how to stare properly. So funny. Then Pets being worried about their sick human, is so accurate. Is anything funnier than the idea of a cat in a service industry job? I really don’t want this to be sad. Please don’t be sad. In Strongberry we trust is my mantra!

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 6 of 10 - I like it more and more as it goes on, but I still don’t think I actually, ya know, like it. 

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate (Thai YT) 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Thai Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 28 eps - dito

2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thai Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill  (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

Korean GL She Makes My Heart Flutter finished it’s run on YouTube. RECOMMENDED. Full review (not by me) here. Extremely cute, about a lesbian bar run by an aunt and her niece.  

I have no idea if any of these still work, but the spies reported in on ways to watch the Cherry Magic movie (2022) with Eng Subs: BiliBili | Website I liked it, not as much as the original, solid 8/10 from me. Again no kissing, these actors must be expensive. Still with Thailand bringing the high heat with such consummate casualness these days (licking ass and taking names) there really isn’t much of an excuse anymore for no kisses. Even Korea has buckled. 

Gossip

Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has collectively signed up to be in idol-based BL, Bump Up Business (based on a webtoon of the same name). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad and can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You). More info here. 

HIStory 5 is coming! Office BL + time travel. “A cheerful and energetic senior student from 2000 travels to the future (2022), works as a deliveryman, and meets his first customer, an heir with a domineering personality.” Nancy Chen to direct (HIStory 4, Papa & Daddy).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting up: 

Nov 18: I Will Knock You (Thai Fri Gaga) A college kid & tutor confronts the leader of a gang who then turns out to be his next student. Bad boy/good boy + sunshine/grumpy, + younger seme pairing, bully romance. Adapted from korean_rabbit's y-novel of the same name, directed by Champ (2gether).

Nov 19: GAP the series (Thai Sat YT) - 12 ep office set GL. WATCH IT! GL and this studio need our support. 

Nov 2022 still to come?

Nov 24: Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) stars Karam (The Boss), Ha Jong Woo, and Leo (VIXX). Formerly Happy Ending Outside the Fence - thank fuck they changed the damn title.  

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (Thai Sat WeTV) - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) tester trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This Week’s Return of the Shirt of Shame 

Work From Heart wasn’t enough? You had to put it on the prettiest boy in the world? (Ghost Host, Ghost House) 

This week’s best moments?

Oops indeed. 

This weeks earworm: MCND #mood

(last week)

Note: I’m off to France and then Australia, as ya do, so posting may be odd and sporadic and strangely timed. Don’t get excited, it’s work, I mostly get to see the insides of hotels. 

[carica-ficus]

“Nona the Ninth”

20/07/2024

Reading progress: 477/477 (100%) Read through since last update: 203

The final stretch! Since I've had a free day yesterday, so I decided to binge the rest of the book and it was so worth it.

Alas, the final notes:

YEESSSS!!! RAGE!! TIME FOR VIOLENCE!!!!!

Hhhh Nona's meltdown is so freeing. There was SO much tension that has built up these last few days and she took it like a champ.

Ngl, I read that part as the frustration that comes out when you're finally done masking for so long. And I mean, Nona literally mentions it in the text too. That she's wearing a mask that looks like her face. Love to see it. It's comforting in a strange way. Mostly because I get it.

Fuck. Yeah, we learn about Earth's demise. We learn about the ways humans try to escape it. We learn about the consequences. But hearing John say that they needed to get the second wave of ships ready before the next round of climate starvation really hit. Humanity really is fucked. And not just in this book.

Not the fucking cows again.

Dying of curiosity. I mean... Is she wrong? (We'll see.)

Oh, fuck. It's not Ianthe's body.

This changes everything.

It changed nothing. Except that it might have made some things worse.

Of course it's Harrow's body. I did think that to myself somewhere in the middle of the book. Like - wouldn't it be SO funny if Harrow, who was always forced to calculate everything and be 3 steps ahead of everyone else, is replaced by Nona who depends on others to survive and has no idea what the fuck's happening? And there we all have it.

ALSO.

The storyline of Harrow working so much and trying to recover after all that grief and anger and sadness becoming a person that is going through recovery, who is loved and loves others, who is struggling so much to find herself, but doesn't know how to function on her own... It's such a powerful take on mental health and everything that comes along with trauma and recovery. This is such a good book.

Is it Gideon AGAIN???

That would be so fucking funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay. She's not. But it's so much worse! Hahahahaha 🙃🙃🙃

HSJDNDNJSKSKSKSKS PALAMEDES AND CAMILLA MY BELOVED ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

No pain meds. - Every pain medication you have, please.

AAAAAAA they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh, yeah. There it goes again. Is Nona hard of hearing? I didn't really think about this element that much, but it does appear several times. She can understand others and multiple languages only if she sees them speak.

Ok. That John chapter was something.

And I know he's a shitty guy. I do. But I get it.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA not the Sixths doing math ALOUD in the Convoy to entertain themselves

Paul?

Sure, ok. Why not.

This kinda reminds me of that scene where Lapis (from Steven Universe) calls herself Bob during the baseball episode. Can't believe I remember that since I haven't watched the show in ages.

SUSS?????

THEN PERISH???

Okay, so much happened at the end that I just didn't want to put the book away in order to comment, so here's some thoughts at the end.

JOHN YOU DICKHEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA

On the other hand, I am in LOVE with the way his character is written - from a perfect being to a selfish, deceitful and greedy man. I loved the way he captured Alecto. I love how he brought her into the tomb like a child, and she was in awe of everything he showed her. It's so raw. It's so sickening and repulsive and violating.

AND I LOVE that Alecto is basically the soul of the Earth. And I love that she is just a girl. That she just wants to live and love and be loved.

And that ending. AAAAA So cool. So so so so so cool. Love it.

I'm so happy I finally finished Nona. It is such a gorgeous book and I loved every bit of it. With each book I just fall more in love with the world and the characters, and I'm in awe of Muir's capability to make me appreciate every single character, no matter their background, morality or goals. Man, this story will stay with me for a long time, if not forever.

[deanstudies101]

4x10, Heaven and Hell

[mid-season finale]

Critical theory: Doubt, disobedience. Fathers. Secrets and confessions pt. 2 [Dean]. The handprint <3 Perfectly normal reactions. 

Discussion point/question(s): What do we think about the heaven/hell positioning of Sam and Dean? 

Key quotes: Dean, “How I feel… This… inside me… I wish I couldn’t feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing.” 

Further reading: 

Perfectly normal reaction to seeing your buddy kiss a girl (@bloodydeanwinchester)

Discussion: 

[I love the one perfect tear as much as the next man, but. Damn I love to see Dean sobbing.]

John is God confirmed. 

Dean wants to be an angel—Anna says angels can’t feel anything. She wants to be human, to feel. He wishes he couldn’t feel anything. 

Dean/Anna, the handprint, destiel. Iga, “This is just a loaf of bread.” Me, “Buddy, this is nothing. We’re just preheating the oven.”* 

[I looked up when Cas was supposed to leave.] [They gave a lot of Anna’s stuff to Cas. Dean and Anna just fucked on screen. So.] So obviously Dean and Anna would’ve had significant romance. And they took her out of the show and replaced her with Cas. And then… Well. [I think certain plotlines, ie. the finale, would’ve been less impactful if it had been Anna. We’ll discuss.] Did Jensen have a say in this character switch, was it partially because of their chemistry? 

[We’ve discussed that demons are camp. I mentioned in the episode that angels are homophobic.] It’s giving disney villain. Was flamboyant demons an acting or writing choice? Was homophobic angels a response to this? Iga, always imagined demons as very emotional, very chaotic (Vampire Diaries vampires, bpd), and angels as stoic, not giving a shit about humans etc. And this… is kinda that? [I’m talking about Paradise Lost, of course. Lucifer is emotional, emotionally driven, persuasive etc. He convinced a whole chunk of the host of heaven to fall.] They have to be like that for it to make sense! 

We’re seeing how humans become demons. They get tortured until they break and start to torture, and we can assume that leads them to becoming demons… so what happened with Lucifer? Did he fall, become human, and then go through this process? Or did he go straight to hell, and go insane because he was alone? [I just read them Paradise Lost Book 1 242-263 aka my favourite bit.] 

Ruby is a real one. She literally put herself through torture for that plan. They love the alliance, the relationship between her and Dean. A lot of feelings

Ruby understands Dean in a way that Sam doesn't. They exchange looks that Sam doesn’t get. He doesn’t feel the need to put up the protective wall, to protect her. He doesn’t need to parent her. And she sees him. And maybe Dean sees her in a way Sam doesn’t, they’ve both had the hell experience, and maybe he respects the fact that she would’ve been in hell much longer than he was. Iga, “Sam doesn’t see Dean and never will, because Dean is his mummy.” And this isn’t an attack on Sam, he’s religious and has a lot of guilt about himself and him and Ruby, and now he knows the angels kinda sucks maybe he’s looking for something to fight for. He sees demons as evil—he trusts her and doesn’t consciously see her as evil—but he does see demons this way, so he has a lot of shame. 

Re: the sex scene. Dean is intimate and soft and… always on the bottom. 

Julio, maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but if Sam is the antichrist, Dean is the new Jesus. He’s destined to go to heaven. He masks it in his dedication to his job, but he is sad at the state of the world, and mourns what is going on. Ying to Sam’s yang, which makes him the new Jesus, which is why he has to be kept alive, because that is his purpose. Kai’s addition, Jesus doesn’t have a good time on earth. He suffers. He dies on a cross because God told him to. Deancore. Julio again, Dean has all the elements to be Jesus. 

Anna, even as a two-year old human, was terrified of God. She was convinced he would kill her—and eventually the angel’s orders were to kill her. The demons love Lucifer, they’re excited for him to rise, they worship him in a “chill Christian kinda way.” That’s embarrassing for the angels actually. How is God the good guy? He’s not. He’s a dick. Even outside of the ~they just obey, they follow orders, kill humans, kill their own kind. This child was so scared of her father. [I would like to add, though. A lot of demons didn’t believe Lucifer really existed, he was ~just a story told in demon Sunday school. Whereas the angels truly believe all their orders are coming from God. Does that change things? Is it not easier to love something whose presence you don’t feel as much?] If you know someone better, you see their flaws more.  If Lucifer is just an ideal in their minds, they can project on him. However, it seems like Lilith knows Lucifer in some way? And she’s terrifying. So. Not a good reflection on Lucifer.

Re: heaven/hell positioning. Kind of on the nose. Can’t infer much from it literally, Sam having demon blood, Dean saved from hell, Dena is Sam’s guardian, he fucked an angel. Julio, “angels have an affinity for Dean.” Demons have plans for Sam, angels have plans for Dean. But, before the angels and demons got this involved, Sam was the pious one, Dean was the ‘sinful’ one. So a nice reverse. 

[Cas is autistic. He just stands there like (does the Kubrick stare)] Julio, I feel like he’s not really looking in the eyes though. [The thing is, often when he’s talking to people he’s like. Looking around. But with Dean it’s. Full on intense eye contact. Obsessed.]

Mid-season finale—finale predictions. Iga, Angels will be in the finale. Something about Dean’s time in hell, losing touch with his humanity, he doesn’t want to feel anything, he was transitioning into a demon. Kai, Big clash between heaven and hell. Lucifer is gonna get out, and now God is back too. Lucifer and God have some kind of face off. Julio, Sam and Dean need some time apart, they’re going in different directions. Kai, ohh, maybe Sam and Dean fight each other. Iga, Sam, or someone, comes up with a plan to make both sides fight each other again. Maybe Dean has to choose between his brother and someone else to save. Kai, Dean 1v1 Lucifer. Iga, Ruby gets in a predicament, and they have to sacrifice something to save her. Kai, maybe Dean has to die again… following the Jesus route. Iga, no, it’s Sam’s turn, he’s demon Jesus, and he gets reborn slightly more demon. But we’ve already done ‘came back wrong’. 

Star student: Julio, antichrist/Jesus analysis. Also commented mid-episode that maybe Sam’s powers come from drinking Ruby’s blood. This was ignored by everyone. Good job king. [Iga is annoyed by this because apaprently she knew but didn't say it because it felt too obvious.]

Notes: Visiting student Julio. 

*the trail of breadcrumbs is just entire loaves of bread / "the bread we made on supernatural" post (@tiktaalic), which I reference almost daily with lines such as "there's no such thing as bread" and "wouldn't it be crazy if bread was real" etc. etc. a very common tag on my main

[theothersideofhim]

Secret, Mistake, Midnight

from [here]

Under the cut since it's A LOT and also a SECRET lmao

secret: What’s one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

Easy enough: he's lonely. He's intensely, earth-shatteringly, irreparably lonely and it's directly because he's part of a duality where each part is designed to function alone. Me and Asche's personal lore for Stan is that he's "the other side" of God but that doesn't mean they're meant to get along. They're meant to be locked in a tidal orbit of never ending conflict, bound to each other but light years away. Stan is meant to be The Adversary and my personal lore is that he's just a little fucking sad about that.

Like he remembers helping to create the universe, hurling matter and heat in every direction, breaking down everything so Eli could pull it back together and form it into more and more complex elements, smashing atoms and meteors and whole planets into each other in a chaotic Mario Party Smash that lasted billions of eons and also just one flashbang

... so Eli could come in and create life on what was left.

And he knows that the only way to ever experience that sense of belonging and purpose again--at least on that "Mantle of the Adversary", cosmic level anyway--is to create a new universe. And he knows that in order for that to really happen the one they'd already made would have to be destroyed.

So there's that.

All this to say, I don't think Stan understands that's what he's feeling anyway. I think it translates to him as Angry and Sad. He'll show the angry part but he doesn't want people to ever know about the sad part.

Oh also he likes head touches and neck kisses shhhSHSHHHHHHH.

mistake: What’s the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

Designing the platypus.

No but seriously, this one is really hard. I wanna say almost killing Lucifer, but is that really the worst? In all the millenia that Stan has been alive, his WORST MISTAKE was making Lucifer believe he was going to die at Stan's hands? Because in all honesty, the two of them will eventually find their way back into the toxic, symbiotic relationship they've had since Lucifer fell and everything will fall back into place again.

But will it??? Will it really????????? He effectively put Doubt in Lucifer's head for... basically as long as it's going to sit there. They'd gotten so close as for Stan to actually tell Lucifer "I love you", even if it was just a whisper, even if it was after just sticking a knife in the former angel's stomach, and they were both reminded that it could have been thrown away in a heartbeat over the pull of the Mantles needing to fill Roles.

Whether or not Lucifer moves on from it, Stan is always going to remember being slightly out of control... but not entirely. He was somewhere in the vicinity of the driver's seat and that is fucking chilling in its implications for Lucifer's place in his heart and Stan's capacity to have one in the first place.

So yeah I guess I'll keep it at that for now.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

He has a fear of intimacy that is in direct conflict with his aforementioned loneliness, and yeah that actually keeps him up at night sometimes lmao. If you wanted to get deeper into that it's a fear of rejection. If you wanted to go even further it's a fear of abandonment.

That's too far woah woahhhh bring it on back now.

His nightmares are always full of songs sung by angels made by Him but Not Him, sounds he can't make that spin molecules together into planets and cities and people, beautiful and terrible but muffled and far away like it was a record playing in another room.

He never speaks in his dreams. His mouth wasn't meant to make sound it was meant to devour, and he never yells or screams or throws any kinds of fits in his dreams.

[queerticulate]

Don’t Worry Darling Spoilers

ShSo after lapping up all of the recent drama about Don’t Worry Darling, I went to see the actual movie.

Because everything about the promotion of the film and everything that has been surfacing about how it was made was so unprofessional, I expected a terrible movie. When I checked out the trailer I was actually intrigued - it was giving me a mix between Black Swan and Strange Angel. Still went to see it with the expectation of laughing at a train wreck... but I actually enjoyed it!

Here’s some of my thoughts (i’m trying to keep it spoiler light):

It’s promoted wrong: it’s a mindfuck movie. In fact, it could have been released under the name of Christopher Nolan and it might have gotten a lot of praise (if there hadn’t been so much bad press). Central to it the plot is gendered abuse. Why on earth the director - Olivia Wilde - is promoting it as a feminist movie and making ‘female pleasure’ such a strong talking point baffles me. See: gendered abuse. By the end of the story, I would qualify the sex that takes place as rape. If Olivia really believes what she says, that’s creepy as fuck.

There is some really disturbing imagery in the movie. Main themes are losing your mind, abuse, self-harm and gaslighting. Some of the scenes are graphic. Don’t go in unprepared just because you want to see a cute movie with Harry Styles (which it won’t be anyway).

Casting & Harry Styles: I think recasting Shia LaBeouf was a good choice, considering his real life and what’s been in the press about that. I think that would have left a viewer who knows that very uncomfortable at the end of the movie. Considering what the reviews have been saying about Harry’s acting, I expected him to be completely cringe all the time. He was actually okay in my opinion.

Chris Pine: This was the first time I’ve seen Chris Pine play a bad guy. It was an experience. I’ve followed this guy since Star Trek and I have a soft spot for him. Seeing him, successfully, play the sort of person that freaks me out was an experience.

Themes & Similar media: My original instinct that it would have somewhat similar vibes as Black Swan and Strange Angel were right. It also seems to take some elements from Hannibal, Upload, and The Truman Show. The way that the neighborhood is set up, in part stylistically, reminded me of the start of Fall Out III (the videogame) and say Tim Burton’s movies such as Edward Scissorhands. I liked these aspects. It might also have found some inspiration in the Handmaid’s Tale, but it can’t even hold a candle to that in a million years (which sometimes is also good, bc the Handmaid’s Tale is traumatizing AF in how hardcore it showcases certain premises).

Directorial criticisms: I tried to look really critically and there is some negative stuff to be said about Olivia Wilde as a director, but I don’t think it goes beyond flaws that can be pointed out in most movies. Several times the music felt a bit off for the scene. I didn’t like the camera angles often. Some scenes felt like there was a specific point to them, but the execution wasn’t quite it yet and sometimes thus came across a bit awkward. When I mentioned Hannibal, I specifically think they tried to recreate the flashing scary dream-like cutscenes and haunting music as part of the journey of a character losing their mind, but it was a poor copy (which is sad). 

Plot & directorial criticisms: The final plot is, in my opinion, really really cool. And it had a plottwist I didn’t see coming. I was intrigued enough with how it unfolded to really want to follow the movie closely. But the above-point does show up here too in the sense that the ideas where there, but sometimes I needed to make some stuff up in my head to make it work. Some of the stuff that bugged me sort of seemed to be explained in the end, sort of. The weak spot for me was that Alice’s reactions seemed overstated for what we as the viewer saw as the cause of them. The things that were odd that she found out about, did not support the questions she consequently raised and the distress she had about it. The speed and intensity with which she lost her mind also didn‘t feel justified. Maybe the point was that she knew more than she thought the whole time and we as the viewers knew, and maybe we were supposed to notice this as odd as a clue. Maybe some of what happened can be chalked up to a sort of glitches in the matrix. It didn’t ruin the movie either way, and I don’t hate extending upon what we see onscreen in my head, but I do think the movie might have been stronger with a bit more exposition/build-up on some things on screen.

I am very mad that they got Dita von Teese to star in this, doing her signature performance, and we barely got to see it because it was intercut with so much of Alice’s trauma memories/nightmarescape scenes. Full offense!

Ending: I am sad the movie ended right at the moment where Alice fully grasped what was going on. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of her dealing with the aftermath. I think that would have made a stronger emotional journey for the viewer.

World-building: I must admit I am really fascinated with the premise/world-building of the movie, and there are so many aspects of it that I would have enjoyed knowing more about. I’m sort of sad it wasn’t told in a TV format so there would have been room. I’m very curious about the creation of the Victory Project and Frank’s character motivations. I am also very curious about Shelley’s position in all of it. I am curious about the struggles that would come with maintaining the situation around Alice (which also raises the question about how time works for the Victory Project). I also would have loved to know more about the stories of the other residents - it could have some very powerful tales about gendered violence (e.g. think of the implications of the character who was referred to as ‘always pregnant’). I am also interested in beyond the domestic aspect, how much of the world-building is set up in such a way as to fulfill specific power fantasies for the men. Does Jack get a big promotion and the opportunity to dance in front of everyone, because that is what he desires? Also, to how much beyond the domestic trad!wife fantasy is the Victory Project intended to cater? What would happen if a guy applied who doesn’t want to bring a wife, maybe someone who just thinks the aesthetic is really neat? What happens if a gay man applied who wants to bring a husband?

Overall, I liked the movie. The premise / plot was great, the execution okay. I do think that if it hadn’t been tanked so hard by a bad rep created by all the negative things that have surfaced about its production and the horrible promotion of it, it might have done well. I think most of the flaws it displays tie to lack of experience or talent from the director. But I also do think that there is a chance it wouldn’t have been judged as harshly if it had been directed by a man.

[exrocist]

tag game: 3 books, 3 movies, and 3 songs

that changed your life or you just love.

Tagged by @zhabk4, thank youuu U__U <333 I don't usually do these (though it always makes me happy to get tagged!) but I was like. nnrrghhh must talk about Earthsea. soo.

(lots of rambling below the cut little bit embarrassed!!!!)

Books:

The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin ; Nothing I say about this book (this series!) can do it justice honestly everyone on the Earth should read Earthsea. like really really read it patiently and intensely and with a savor because you will never encounter reality so closely and clearly ever again. everything about it is real to me but this book particularly struck me just because. well. lebannen. a force undeniable. I didn't know I was capable of loving so deeply and profoundly until I knew him. he is the best. I love you Lebannen 💥💥💥 I love everything about these books honestly. immense grace aside that shit also inspired perhaps the most intense and creatively demanding period of my life & broke down a lot of the mental partitions that I had constructed around what my hands are capable of. And I am still really bobbing through the wake of even now. Hopefully more marvelous things to come. There is much more strength to be drawn from this place yet if I can stomach it. sighs.

Death with Interruptions by José Saramago ; My words are failing me here but like. Saramago's voice and style have become real fixtures for me. I need to read a Saramago at least once every few months or my life loses its musicality. This is where I started with him so it gets to be on the list but Cain is also a great one for many many many more reasons that would be toooo much talking. for me to post.

I feel like by law I have to put Plato's Republic here which like. honestly not the most philosophically valuable work or even my drug of choice these days but was a thirteen year old's first inquest into the field that would become his only scholastic passion. so ! (He didn't even know he would have to read it seven times during his undergrad 😭) but if we want another novel to put here maybe We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver (mostly because of one sequence but also Shriver's great at writing in the voice of wry & cerebral women whose sentimentality is kind of shielded by their overt insight it gives them real internal lushness).

Honorable mention also to Isaac Asimov's I, Robot and subsequent novels of Asimov's future chronology which are currently fucking me up beyond measure. My recommendation here is read I, Robot (Or The Complete Robot!) and maaaybe Caves of Steel (tightly written marvel with only forgivable weaknesses of unprobed psychologies) and then stop. Just don't keep going okay. I've also had um Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore still swimming around in my mind despite having finished it a good while ago.

Movies:

Uhhh I don't w.atch. errr. Movies I can think of that I've watched just at all of my own volition: Raw (2016). good experience but didn't move me hugely taboo-pushing which is awesome conceptually but not in the right ways for me idk. not a bad movie at all though definitely some kind of stupid elements at play as well.

Uhhhhhhhhh.

?????????

Songs

Spent Gladiator 2 - The Mountain Goats ; I know I know I'm sorry I'm so trite and pedestrian but like. song with a non-negligible influence on me NOT killing myself <3

Wait List - All Get Out ; song with a non-negligible influence on me actively killisdukydhkuhldfhuik

I/m Not Here [missing face] - The Twilight Sad ; idk is this even a song I could live without. could I have the strength to do anything if not for this five minute dronefest. they need to start creating standardized ritual/ecstatic behaviors for the tracks off this album.

Honorable mentions: San Fermin's The Woods (if you were to ask me about artists they would most definitely be very much up there... Mr. Ludwig-Leone's artistry has been cradling me for a very long time), Say Yes to Everything by We Cut Corners (best band ever ever ever!!!), Topography by Civilian, Dump Your Dreams by A.S. Fanning (i love music).

I did badly at this but I think I made up for not having any movies by talking so much elsewhere. ermmm.

Only tagging @twilitfossil (Jesse Pinkman voice) do it bitchhhhhh also @ataliaf but only if you want to n__n <3333

[cheemken]

Yeah you got the four elements right. The others you mentioned are sub bending but only certain ones can be used by a type of bending, only fire benders can lightning bend, earth benders can metal bend, water benders can heal, and air benders can fly (the rarest btw, only 2 people have been known to fly). But there are many other sub bending techniques, any bender can use the sub bending techniques but only if they have the skill for it. Like this one earthbender named Bolin wanted to metal bend but he couldn’t, but later learned he could lava bend which took less skill

I honestly don’t have any headcanons about the champions bending types except for Lance. I just wanted to know your opinion lol. I thought of him as a non-bender at first because of his combat skills. But there are fire benders like Zuko and Azula that know how to fight with swords and have been trained in martial arts. So I figured him being a fire bender would be a good choice

OUGH Iris as the only air bender of the group makes me sad. Canonically airbenders are the rarest among the four groups since they were all slaughtered (or almost all) during the beginning of the war. And the most airbenders found at the end of the second series was less than 20. So Iris really has no one to teach her how to bend since her parents dipped and there’s little to no air bending masters in the world

But actually, Iris learning to bend by watching the others is a very cool concept. Zuko had actually taken inspiration from other elements and used them in battle. He used his momentum as a weapon (air), standing his ground and have form to deflect attacks (earth), unleash his own power against opponents (fire), and turning his opponents energy against them (water). So Iris learning from watching others could actually be real

But GOD I know you didn’t mean it but if Iris was the avatar it’s actually canon that she would learn how to water bend next. The order is water, earth, fire, air. So if she was born as a air bender then she’d have to learn water bending next, then earth bending, then fire bending

CKSKCKZNDNS but yeah like you said the other champions are busy so Iris and Hau having a friendly battle and Hau sends a blast of water at Iris who didn’t have time to dodge or deflect it so she just puts her hands up to take the brunt of the attack and the water just, stops in front of her face, floating in the air. Just imagine after a bit of silence these two just start freaking out in excitement and surprise. They’d be calling Drayden and the other champions right away once their excitement dies down

Ohhh lava bending sounds fuckin dope tho chmdnd hahaha

But yes ik a bit abt the air benders and such, why not give Iris that angst hahaha plus yknow I just think it'd be dope she'd be the avatar, and then the way she fights is so similar to the ones who helped her bend the other elements too, I didn't know that actually happens in the show that's so cool! I didn't even know the order of learning the elements omf I got that right at least hahaha

Also it'd be cute that Hau and Iris are just vibing and such bc they're still the youngest, and maybe during that time and such, the other champs visit her and Drayden, w Drayden telling Iris and Hau to go out for a bit as the adults are talking, so hey they went out. And like, yeah they're playing near the river maybe, just being siblings it's so soft your honour cbxmdj

And yeah like you said, Hau sending Iris a blast of water, laughing at her all, "dodge this then!" And ofc Iris didn't expect it, she was still preparing her own attack, so when she held her hand up and the water was there just floating in mid air, they both were fucking vibing like crazy hahaha

"how did you do that??"

"I don't know!!"

Both got so excited that they tried it again, w Iris mimicking Hau's movements, and when she did it by herself, she almost couldn't believe it. "Are you doing that to make me feel better??"

"no! You try it by yourself again!"

And she did. They got excited even more hahaha

Both ran back to Iris' home, almost kicking the door down, and Iris screaming "I CAN WATER BEND!!"

"WHAT"

Imagine Wallace getting excited tho, happy to have another water bender in their group, that he just jumped up from their seat and went to the kids, asking so many questions abt it and went on how he could teach them more abt water bending and ofc the kids were more than happy

But also imagine if that's how the others and Drayden found out abt Iris being the avatar tho, bc no one else could do that, and if the other nations or smth finds out, or the fire nation yeah that was like the main threat iirc, then they'd take Iris from them. So they decided to always have someone w her while she trains even more, keeping her safe from any threat

[multi-lefaiye]

EXPLAIN LORE TO ME I LIKE ANY TYPES OF LORE

LORE LORE LORE LORE LORE - Runic

ALRIGHT HI IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPLAIN TO YOU, MY DEAR FRIEND, THE FLIGHT RISING GODS

@astral-runic i hope you're ready for this <3

i'm not gonna explain the lore in-depth because i am BEHIND on it, but i'll explain who the gods are! and also the fun fact that the gods on flight rising have their own accounts and used to interact with players sometimes!!!! that was fun :> (i say as if i was active on the site at that point). also it's like a thing where people jokingly refer to the gods as their parents- yeah <3

for context, each dragon god on flight rising is affiliated with a specific element, or flight, and every dragon clan is associated with one of the gods. my account has been a shadow clan since day one babeyyyy so i will have a lot to say about the shadow goddess.

okay under the cut! content warnings: the plague goddess looks a bit gross at first glance and i can't spoiler tag her image, so tread lightly. if zombies make you uncomfortable, pls be careful!

first up; the earth god, the earthshaker!

from what i understand, the earthshaker is kind of a sad old man. he's the oldest of the gods and one of the gods that helped create the world of sornieth! he wishes the other gods would still be friends and not just kick the shit out of each other all the time.

a cursory glance at his profile tells me that his followers call him variations of rockdad. fair!

next up: the fire goddess, miss flamecaller!

the flamecaller is the fire goddess! she's one of the oldest gods and also helped create the world! we love a girlboss!!! she seems very cool, idk my clan isn't fire affiliated. i'm sure she's done some atrocities though because like all the gods have.

idk what her followers call her but i think. well. firemom is good.

next up: the wind god, the windsinger!

hello noodledad. anyway the windsinger is pretty dope! he's all about adventure and learning new things and exploring and making the most out of life! he's also another one of the oldest gods who helped create the world. from what i gather he's not that interested in the petty disagreements between the other gods and just wants to have fun.

next up; the water god, mr tidelord!

so this is the only part of the lore i'm up to date on lmao and that is that the tidelord's fucking missing??? or dead???? what the fuck. anyway he's cool. he lives in the ocean and he has visions all the time and goes "yikes" and i love him. unfortunately i think someone killed him. sorry, water dad.

next up: MY MOM MY MOM MY MOM- the shadow goddess, the shadowbinder!

so i originally picked shadowmom because i liked her design the most, and that still stands. i love her. she is so goopy. those are liquid shadows dripping out of her body and i love her so much. shadowmom's philosophy is that sometimes secrets should stay secret and knowledge can hurt. which uhhh y'know isn't actually something i really agree with but it's okay she's fine-

shadow mom is a younger goddess, but she's still comparatively old as fuck compared to the newest ones.

also she calls her followers her children and i'm 🥺🥺 ily shadowmomma

next up: a bitch! the ice god, the icewarden!

he's a cop! or something! that's kind of a reduction but this bitch made all the prisons in this world and is all "ohhhh i am holding so many horrors away from killing the world" and then in the same breath makes fun of my favorite dragon breeds. i hope he chokes /lh

i do love his design, i just think he's a little hater and deserves to be bullied mercilessly.

i will not call this beast father.

aaand next up: the capitalist, the lightning god, the stormcatcher!

so the stormcatcher is the only god that players don't refer to as dad! i think that's neat. no, he's The Boss. he treats his followers like his employees, for better or for worse. he is all about PRODUCTIVITY and INDUSTRIALISM and i wanna push him into a locker- i'm kidding.

he's cool, i like his design a lot.

aaand next up, the worst of the bunch (/lh), the light goddess, the lightweaver!

so as a loyal son of shadowmom, i have to bully this motherfucker. lightweaver is a punk-ass glittery hoe who creates fucked up zombies and then goes "ahaha not my problem lol." fuck you.

(this is a joke, i actually think she's super cool and has a fun design and interesting lore, but i'm a good son to shadowmom ok-)

i call her glitterbitch <3

next up: the nature goddess, the gladekeeper!

the gladekeeper is one of the youngest deities, and i think she's super fucking cool. she's all about survival and perseverance, and she's spent millennia warring with her sister, the plague goddess. she was created in the wake of an apocalypse and has been focusing on repairing the world. i love u beardmom even if ur not my mom.

and next up: her sister, the plague goddess, the zombie plaguebringer!

so, looking at plaguebringer, you may think she's evil. but she's really not. her whole deal is that she also wants to repair the world, but she has a very different philosophy on how to do that. the plaguebringer believes only the strongest can survive, and that strength and resilience must be cultivated for the world not to fall again.

she is so fucking cool and i love her <33333 also her followers make the funniest memes, don't @ me.

and finally, my actual favorite aside from shadowmom: the arcanist! the arcane god!

so the arcanist is the youngest god and also the smallest, but he's bigger than every single mortal dragon breed lmao. he's caused he apocalypse three separate times and i'm fucking obsessed with him. spacedad <33333

he was born in a nuclear reactor (long story) and i highkey headcanon that his magic is just pure radiation.

he's my favorite and i have an oc i ship with him because i'm attached to him a completely normal amount (lying)

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday z! if sam and dean were dropped into ff7, which characters do you think they would get along with or not get along with?

happy wincest wednesday eve -- ty for indulging me both on doing the wincest wednesday thing and also for this hilarious crossover, lol. Talk about tones that do not mesh.

Which obv makes it better, haha. Like Dean would be just straight-up heckling Sephiroth and it would be DESERVED. Who's that portentous. Jesus. I guess in the same way that when they got dropped into Scooby Doo and suddenly could do scrambling cartoon runs and whatnot, tho, if they were dropped in FFVII they should also gain the equivalent of video game protagonist powers (and possibly hair -- Sam's suddenly even more shaggy and shiny, god help us). Dean doing weird gun kata shit bc that's just how it'd be in Midgar for him -- yeah, why not!

Things I believe to be true:

Dean and Barret would initially not get along at ALL and then Dean would be extremely gentlemanly and kind to Marlene (because he has another kind of superpowers) and then Barret would be like. Okay. We are now best friends. They could get drunk and yell at corporate sloganeering together.

Dean obviously hits on Tifa but it's just in like a friendly 'we are both super hot and there are rules here' way. She is sweet and rolls her eyes about it and then they're actually pretty platonic. Plus Dean respects a bartender, especially one who could decapitate you with a kick.

Sam initially thought he could hang with Vincent just for the quiet vibes, and also the 'hey, do you feel like your girlfriend got killed and there's something monstrous inside you' element, but... it turns out you can have too much in common with someone, and like, how do you even talk about that. He ends up getting along more with Cid. Sure, Cid's a dick and brash and drinks too much, but he's actually very sweet on the inside, and Sam's like 'wow, it's like Bobby's 30 years younger and feels strongly about tea.' (Dean and Cid argue about mechanic details and Dean's offended that he's not allowed to fly the Highwind. Sam hears the bitching about each other from both sides.)

They both can't stand Yuffie. Sam tries, but... fuck.

Aerith is obviously nice to them both, and flirts with them both in her sunny easy way, but there's a little wall there -- Aerith, angel-like, has this element to her that they can't touch, and she recognizes them both as touched by destiny too, and it's just... Sam says to Dean, one night, that she reminds him of Anna, and Dean agrees. (Although he doesn't have last night on earth sex with Aerith.) ((Aerith is out in a meadow one day when Sam goes for a walk, and she vaguely implies that she knows Sam and Dean are soulmates and that that must be nice, and Sam doesn't exactly know what to say because she seems so sad about it. But he carries the basket of herbs she picked, and helps her over the little river so she doesn't get her boots wet, and she smiles at him grateful and knowing and then sends him back to his brother.))

Cloud: neither of them know what to do with this fuckin guy. They don't respond well to Cool Loner Types. Plus Dean recognizes crazy when he sees it, and nudges Sam hard the first time Cloud has one of his Little Moments and Sam's like, ow, yes, I see it too. Still, after the whole... psychotic break thing (and after Aerith dies) I feel like they'd each be able to handle part of it -- Dean being apparently-callous 'let's deal with the logistics and problems in front of us' support; Sam being like, hey, if you want to talk about hallucinating your worst enemy I Am Your Guy. They would both also have a lot of sympathy for the, you know, mother dying in a fire set by the devil part.

Red XIII: Dean: "Holy shit, dude. They got their own Scooby Doo." Sam: "I'm pretty sure that's... really offensive. He's like... a member of an indigenous tribe or something, Dean." Dean: "Sam, he is a talking dog." Sam: "...Yeah, he is. But if you offer him a Scooby Snack I will not mop you up when he kills you."

[ankhisms]

ok heres my ep 47 and 48 live reaction thoughts

ep 47

the meteor landed in 1999 i wouldve been one year old...

still dont really understand if the worms are life forms from a different planet brought over on the meteor or if they come from some kind of source of life that was on the meteor and upon crashing on earth they came into being. i doubt were going to get an answer but also im just putting too much scientific thought into one of the most ridiculous random bullshit happens [affectionately] kamen rider shows

the opening of this episode is interesting because were getting flashbacks of very early kabuto and its interesting for me to see the aspects of the early show which i really liked, the kind of horror elements of the show that i feel like kind of tapered off towards the middle of the show and now i wonder if were reintroducing that kind of existential dread as we finish the show. the last episode certainly had that kind of horror of existing at all

well now everyone just has worm detection necklaces i guess idk how they made that happen but okay

not gorou chan is so mad about the idea of zect disbanding which is typical business guy behavior like the threat is gone and we are no longer needed? no i want more power

KAGEYAMA STEALING SEVERAL OF THE NECKLACES HELP

lets make the hiyori chef debut menu waaaaaa

i knew it was tendou attacking the truck of the necklaces because he doesnt want hiyori to be killed. cries

misaki is like dude. you cant ask kagami to kill his boyfriend. we already did this at the start of the show

now what the fuck is not gorou chan doing with tendou two. why did he stroke his hair like that like. ummmm

RENGE HAS BEEN SHOT I REPEAT RENGE HAS BEEN SHOT

ep 48

augh the wife finding out her husband is a worm with their baby in her arms and the husband being killed was really sad like god. made me think about how many other incidents like that happened yknow

hiyori and jyuka cooking in the kitchen together..  sisters... crying

ok renge is alive thank fucking god and tendou brought her food in the hospital.. i guess he hadnt meant for her to get hurt then thanks tendou

is kageyama fucking dying good lord. NOPE OK HES A WORM. ALRIGHT. SURE. HE WAS A WORM THIS WHOLE TIME I GUESS

oh i KNEW not gorou chan was gonna try some shit. talk about a hostile business take over

shoutout to tendou for saving tendou two that entire reveal about tendou twos backstory was so fucking horrifying like yknow what i think the guy is allowed to be a bit blood thirsty and batshit after all that. what the fuck truly

their plan is to fucking. make everyone into worms i guess. what in the god damn

hasnt tendou two suffered enough do they have to throw him around like a rag doll leave him aloneeeee

well tendou is unkillable this is a known fact so im sure kagami didnt actually kill him. but kagami THINKS that he killed him. and boy you can tell thats already weighing on him immediately. AND THEN RIGHT AFTER HE FINDS OUT ABOUT HIS DAD. DOUBLE WHAMMY

the way kagami says i killed him and the way his dad quietly reacts when kagami says kabuto is our enemy like oh kagami things are so fucked

the hoppers are going thru it my god OH HEY WHAT THE FUCK. THATS SO SAD WHAT THE FUCK

humanitys future is in your hands kagami. no pressure

tendou fighting against the entire world as long as it means his sisters can live vs kagamis dad saying im okay with dying but you have to live

oh tendou in the rubble parallel is good

whats better than this. falling in the mud puddle with your dad running away from the law