#think we’ll be done by Halloween if we can’t work this out lol like I need to communicate it first obviously but yeah atp I’m over it

[wlwgang]

Ugh

[horrordirtbag]

Who made Leatherface the way he is?

this is another ramble post

I see a lot of people talk about this, usually in citing why hes wholesome 100 himbo, and most of the time people like to throw blame solely onto the cook and I kind of take issue with this. Is he abusive? Sure. He’s also bat shit fucking insane like everyone else so who’s shocked to realize that

If we’re going to extend so much sympathy to Leatherface in understanding him and what made him the way he is, why dont we ever ask what made Drayton the way he is? Why does the discussion always begin with Leatherface and end with Drayton?

Now I am aware that Leatherface is much more sympathetic due to his autistic and fearful nature but I find that the rabbit hole to what made the Sawyers the Sawyers runs far deeper than most slashers and the answer is much more complex than emotional abuse. 

First some contemporary context. The 70s were the first time serial killers became a big national deal, and the first question everyone had on their minds was what made them this way. We still see this all the time whenever there’s a new school shooter, it’s just in our morbid curiosity.  When horror films started focusing more on serial murderers rather than supernatural monsters, naturally they also took up this question and it became integral for each slasher villain to have their origin stories. 

Why am I saying all this? Because TCM takes a unique approach to solving this riddle of what makes someone a murderer. TCM is a very accusatory movie, it kind of bullies the audience lol. It makes them feel bad for eating meat, that’s obvious, and most will know it makes the audience feel bad for understanding and sympathizing with the titular, horrific killer. 

Keeping in line with this, while Halloween points the finger inward and says everyone innately has a bit of the Bogeyman inside them, TCM points the finger outward and blames the world for making the killers the way they are.

And that’s why I think it’s too simple to just point at Drayton as the cause. In a complex way, TCM makes him out to be a victim, too.

The Sawyers’ backstory is never overtly given to the audience and it’s something we’re left to just piece together on our own, but we are given an almost complete picture.

The family was always in the meat slaughtering business, at least as long as Grandpa’s been alive (137 years, no exaggeration lol). They’re a family on the complete outskirts of society, without many other options given to them (the slaughterhouse was just the closest place to them), so after generations, it’s all they really know. And once they lost their jobs, they couldn’t stop.

This is what made them killers, their job. Only before they were slaughtering acceptable meat. When they do the same thing to humans, it’s not longer ok. I mean it’s a job thats got to be done, but it’s easy to see how, when all you’re doing all day is assembly line killing things, you’d go a little crazy. And slaughtering was passed down each generation as tradition.

TCM obviously has beef with the meat industry, but it goes beyond that. It’s not just the industry that made them killers, but American 🤡society🤡 in general. Because really, the Sawyers are an all-American family, in all-American Texas. That’s why the film extensively shows us their dynamics, so we can see they’re just a very, very weird family, not dark sinister monsters who want to cause pain and suffering. They argue, laugh, worry about electricity bills and property damage like we do,  just in a very, very insane manner.

Just like how TCM takes cow slaughtering and turns it on it’s head, it also takes the nuclear family and turns traditional values on it’s head, too. We have our honest, hard working american breadwinner, the patriarch (Grandpa), but one problem... no women (rip grandma, we’ll meet again in Chainsaw Heaven ✊)

We simply can’t have a man do the dishes or cleaning, so Leatherface has gotta dress up as one to fill in these female assigned gender roles (not trying to downplay personality disorders, just trying to explain how it fits into the films theme), and as a man to fulfill the manly ones (butchering).

TCM takes all these normal American ideals, the woman doing the housework, the men running the family, and the preservation of family tradition (slaughtering/Grandpa), and makes them seem utterly insane. There’s a point where Drayton tells Leatherface to “get back in there” (the kitchen) and that should say everything needed lol

Ultimately, this is what made the Sawyers into killers. Once they lost their jobs and were left in the dust and pushed further into the outskirts of American civilization, they were left to fester in their lonesome craziness put on them by their jobs, and to preserve their family tradition in the most taboo way possible, they switch to humans. It’s not that emotional abuse made Leatherface a killer, or any of the Sawyer’s killers, it’s that society bred them to be. Cuz we gotta have our steaks lol 

PS this should go without saying but obviously the sawyers are responsible for their own actions, I just think TCM makes a profound claim on how rigid social structure breeds insanity

[alloftheimaginess]

Can you do a supernatural cast series where you’re the wife and you do different interviews, like the videos on YouTube like Ad or thirst tweets or just answering fan questions whatever plz. If you have questions just message me and I’ll try to explain it further

Lol sorry it’s been like four months so don’t hate me but it’s been hard work juggling trying to write, school and work so sorry. I think it sucks but hopefully you’ll like it and I’ll be tagging the other parts in this one

Burning Fan Questions

Other parts

Alexander Calvert

Misha Collins

Jensen Ackles

"Hi I'm Yn Padalecki and I will be answer the fans burning questions about my life" I say smiling at the camera as I grab the bucket that's full of questions.

"I'm super nervous for this because before I got here Jared double dog dared me to answer literally every single question so I can't use my skip button" I say and the crew behind the camera laughs.

"Please for the love of god let their be questions to embarrass Jared more than me so he can eat it" I say giggling.

"First question" I say grabbing a folded up piece of paper from out the bucket.

"Who is the rudest celebrity that you've ever had the chance of meeting?" I read and I laugh.

"Oh that's a lot of them, there's an unsurprising amount of rude celebrities who think that they own Hollywood" I say laughing.

"But enough stalling because I have to answer this question anyway, the rudest celebrity that I've ever met was Christian Bale, no offense but he was a total dick to literally everyone around him, on set, off of set just everywhere" I say digging around the bucket for another question.

"What scandals has your team had to cover up?" I read and I start laughing.

"Noooooo" I say laughing even harder because I know I have to tell them.

"Okay okay. When I was 23 I had first met Jared and we got caught you know doing the deed and then the pictures were about to go out and they had to buy all of them back for double of what they were going to get" I say laughing shaking the bucket up and grabbing another one out.

"Have you ever used your celebrity status to get something for free?" I read.

"One time when I was out my daughter, Harlow we were getting frozen yogurt and I left my credit card at the restaurant we were at before without realizing it and at the register she goes oh my god are you Jared from supernatural's wife and when I'm with my daughters I usually pretend like I'm not but I totally knew she was going to give us the yogurt for free so I was like yeah, and then I asked her how she was and she was like oh this is totally on the house" I say laughing.

"I eventually went back and tipped a massive tip because I didn't pay last time" I say.

I grab another one out and I put the bucket down opening it "how many kids do you actually want?" I read.

"Well I already have two now but I'm aiming for at least five" I say laughing.

"I have a big family I'm one of 9 so I've always wanted a big family but not as big as mine so four or five would be a perfect size family for me, I honestly have a enough love for a million but four or five is definitely good for me" I say grabbing another question.

"If we came to your house what would we find in your cabinets food wise?" I read laughing.

"What an interesting question" I say.

"Everyone in the Padalecki household has their own cabinets because they are huge smackers. Harlow's is filled with the stuff she likes such as teddy Grahams, fruit roll ups, dried Cranberries, jolly ranchers stuff like that. Mine is filled with little cakes, gushers, banana chips which I swear by, peanuts, popcorn and Jared's, he has tons of candy, he is absolutely in love with white chocolate macadamia cookies and he always has those in his stash and Kiernan she's still on baby food so she's fully stocked on that" I say grabbing another question out.

"If you had to marry anyone that has starred along side your husband in his show supernatural who would it be?" I read.

"Oh hmm" I say laughing.

"Okay, Jensen is like Jared's best friend but I'm way closer to Misha so I'd definitely have to say Misha but no offense to his wife because I'd totally marry her as well or maybe even Rob, I love that man to pieces, he's a really good friend but then there's Rich, no offense to his wife Jaci but Rich and I have the best dance off's so that would be something to look forward to" I say laughing as I grab another question.

"If you woke up in Jared's body and had to stay in it for a day what would you do?" I say laughing.

"Easy, I'd leave myself little notes with plans for tomorrow so when I switch back he'll have to go through with them and we could have a perfectly planned out day because I planned it" I say laughing.

"If you go out to dinner with your non-famous friends, do you all still split the bill or do you pay?" I read.

"It depends really, my childhood friends don't like for me to pay for their stuff so we'll all split the bill but if I'm the one inviting everyone out then I'll pay before hand because then it'll be a lot of work trying to break it up" I say grabbing another question.

"What's one thing that Jared does that absolutely pisses you off?" I read cracking up.

"Breathes" I say smiling at the camera.

"I'm just kidding" I say laughing.

"When I'm super busy and like concentrating on my work he'll come over and innocently wrap his arms around me but then when I'm not paying him enough attention he'll start softly biting me and while I'm trying to work that can be so annoying" I say.

"What was the worst rumor that has been spread about you?" I read.

"I've had some pretty bad ones that I like to pretend didn't happen because they were literally so outrageous but I guess the worst one was that I was cheating on Jared. A few years back Harlow and I flew to my hometown for a few weeks and we spent Halloween out there and my twin sister and I dressed up as Sally from nightmare before Christmas because we've always done matching costumes whenever we're with each other and I posted a selfie on Instagram so everyone knew what I looked like but no one knew my twin sister was dressed identical to me and she took Harlow around with her now husband while I helped my parents be set up for the party and the paparazzi caught them together while they shared a kiss and while Eric played with Harlow and she was giggling and they put the photos on the front of the magazine and I was getting so much hate before I even knew what was going on and I was getting calls from our friends and they were asking me like how I could do that and then I had to go and post my pictures with my sister and write this long ass message about it and it was super bad" I say moving on.

"Who do you look up to the most, and what qualities do you love about that person?" I read.

"My grandma, she pretty much raised me. My parents weren't around often so I had to live with her for like 5 years, me and all of my siblings" I say digging in the bucket.

"But the qualities that I love about her is one, the fact that she is the strongest person I've had the honor of meeting" I say holding up one finger.

"Two, her boldness is like unbelievable. I took her to the oscars and she started flirting with The Rock and that's when I realized my grandma was my hero" I say laughing and I pull another question out.

"What's something you did as a child that no one knows about outside of your family?" I read.

"For two years I only spoke in a British accent, I had everyone confused at school because I never broke" I say laughing.

"How often do you and Jared have sex?" I read burying my face.

"No, I'm not going to be embarrassed. Sex is a normal thing, it brings about joy, relaxation, sometimes accidental pregnancies" I say laughing.

"But back to the question, I don't know. He's gone for like nine months out of the year but if he has a three day weekend or whatever then we'll spend a night together but when he's home in the three months he's off of filming it's literally whenever the kids are gone if even just for 20 minutes. We try to keep it as normal as possible" I say laughing.

"What's the last text conversation you had?" I read pulling out my phone and I laugh.

"I texted Robert about his new Batman movie because it was announced the other day and I just seen it this morning so I had to quickly congratulate him and he tells me that while I'm super late he still appreciates it and won't hold anything against me when it's time to hand out movie tickets and I said I'd never forgot about you shiny and he sent the middle finger emoji" I say laughing.

"What are your pet names that you and Jared have for each other?" I read.

"Ha, finally a question that he'd normally not talk about but I was dared so I call him Bubba or bubs" I say laughing.

"Literally it's how he's saved in my phone and he thinks it's so embarrassing" I say pulling my phone out and showing his contact name and photo.

"He's Bubba and he calls me a lot of different things but the one he always goes back to is beautiful or baby" I say smiling at the camera.

“Do your siblings and Jared get along?” I read and I laugh sighing.

“Like I mentioned earlier I’m one of nine so that’s eight siblings and then all of my siblings are older than me. I’m the baby and they are all married so my older brother and his husband love Jared and Jared loves them, we’re actually both of their kids godparents but then with my third oldest sister she doesn’t like me so she doesn’t like Jared by default you know” I say grabbing another question.

“Okay this is a question I have to know how often you do and Jared shower together?” I read laughing.

“Do you have to know that?” I ask laughing harder.

“Sorry to let you down but we don’t really, we’ll not anymore with kids it’s best one of us is out the shower while the other one quickly showers because we can’t leave them along for too long” I say knowing that my answer is not what they were expecting.

“But before kids it’s was an every morning thing we did together before heading out for our different business or whatever we had to do that day” I say.

“Did you have an oh shit moment at your wedding, and if so what was it?” I read and I nod.

“Yeah actually I did. But it’s been so long since we got married that I actually forgot until I read this question. My brother bless his poor heart showed up drunk like he was pregaming our wedding and the security didn’t know he was my brother so they were like kicking him out and my sister runs in like “oh my god Yn, the security just kicked Kalin out” so I’m like half dressed and I go down to try to figure out what the hell is happening and then I meet up with him and he throws up all over me like I’m talking full body covered and the make up artist just left and I had to shower and call her back so she could come fix my face and it was very traumatizing because it was so gross” I say laughing.

“But the whole wedding was beautiful and he didn’t drink at all” I say.

“If you had to pick a song from the late 10’s-2020 to be you and Jared’s couple song what would you pick?” I read and I awe.

“That’s a cute question. I guess I’d have to say Flicker by Niall Horan, we danced together to that song when Alex Calvert and his wife got married and it literally felt so magical and now whenever I hear it, it takes me back to a happy place and I just think about slow dancing with my best friend and husband” I say smiling.

“Do you and all the wives of the supernatural cast get along?” I read and I quickly nod.

“Those girls are some of my best friends, they know what it’s like to have a family and their husband work on supernatural so automatically we have something to bond over also with Alex’s wife she has a massive family so we often talk about the drama and problems that come along with it” I say laughing.

"Last one. What celebrity have you had beef with?" I read laughing.

"Daniel Radcliffe" I say quickly.

"But it was when we were younger filming the Harry Potter movies. We didn't like each other for like the first 4 movies" I say laughing.

"Our characters were close in the movie but on set we hated each other, I don't know why and I don't think he does either, I guess our energies just clashed but when we got to order of the Phoenix and we talked it out before we started filming and have been best friends in person ever since" I say laughing and tipping the bucket over.

"That was my last question. I'm Yn Padalecki and this has been answering fan questions. Thank you for watching and I hope you got a laugh out of at least some of these questions or you learned something you never thought you would learn about me" I say smiling at the camera

[cursedchildofchaos]

More of whatever this is

Ai and incorrect quotes cuz why not?

https://play.aidungeon.io/main/newGame

https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

-

ENTJ: Love makes people do stupid things. ISFP: I love everything! ENTJ: That explains a lot.

ai additions

ISFP: So, wanna hang out sometime? 

ENTJ: Sorry, I'm in a committed relationship and we don't hang out. 

ISFP: I knew there was something fishy about you.

-

INFP: Come on ENTP, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that... ENTP: Yes I can, dear. Fifty dollars.

ai

INFP: Cheap date! 

ENTP: No, it's not a date, it's a business proposition. 

INFP: Alright, forget I mentioned it.

-

ENFJ: What’s up? I’m back. ENFP: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead ENFJ: Death is a social construct.

ai

ENFJ: I was alive, but you were dead

ENFP: And we shouldn't have said anything at all.

-

ENFP: Do we have any orange juice left? ISTP: *pours the remaining juice into their cup* ISTP: Sorry, we’re all out.

ai

ISTP: *sips their fruity treat* Mmm… yum! 

ISTP: We should really stock some of these products at home.

-

INFP: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

ai

INFP:  The other one is in love and just wants to please his lady.... 

INFP: I feel like crying. 

INFP: I want to be the type of person who cries at romantic movies.

-

ESTP: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. INTP: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. ESTP: Th-that's not how that works-

ai

INTP: But you don't know how it works, do you? 

ESTP:... 

ESTP: You're an idiot.

-

ESTP: Oh man, you have any shaving cream? ESFP: No, I don't like the way that it tastes. ESTP: Wait... you eat shaving cream? ESFP: No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.

ai

To sum up this dialog: ESTP is sitting at the table. ESFP says that he doesn't like to shave with this kind of cream, because it smells horrible.

-

ESTP: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. ESFP: I witnessed the dumb stuff. INFP: I recorded the dumb stuff. ENTP: I joined you in the dumb stuff. INTJ: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

ai

ENFJ: I'm sorry. I'm not perfect. 

ESFP: But I'm your girlfriend. I'm not perfect, but I'm still pretty awesome.

-

ESTJ: Am I right, ISTP? ISTP: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

ai

ESTJ: Fine. I'll be on my way. 

ISTP: I can't wait to hear the ending. 

ESTJ: You'll find out when I tell you.

-

ESFP: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? INTP: IT. ENFP: Annabelle. ISFP: Paranormal Activity. ISFJ: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

ai

ESFP: O.o 

ENFP: Lol. What's your favorite holiday? 

ISFP: Halloween. 

ISFJ: Christmas. 

ESFP: Easter. 

ENFP: Thanksgiving.

-

ESTJ: What is love? INTP: An emotional minefield. ISTP: A neurochemical reaction. INFP: Baby don't hurt me.

ai

ESFP: You're the one who's supposed to stay away from me. 

ISTP: I'll never hurt you. 

INFP: You have no choice.

-

ENFP: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

ai

The man grimaces, which could be interpreted as a form of expression, and walks away from you. You watch him leave, wondering at his behavior.

-

INFJ: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now. INFP: There are no books in prison. INFJ: *sighs* Thank you.

ai

To sum up this dialog: The woman feels like she is in a cage. She is in her early thirties. She is in love with an INTP man.

-

ESTP: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! ENFJ: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

ai

INTJ: *sneering at the two* Oh, is that it? I guess we'll just continue this conversation without me!

-

ENTJ: You’re giving me a sticker? ESFJ: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” ENTJ: I’m not a preschooler. ESFJ: Fine, I’ll take it back- ENTJ: I earned this, back off!

ai

ESFJ: Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine! 

ENTJ: Great! Thanks! 

ESFJ: No problem! 

ENTJ: Where do you want to go?

-

ISFJ: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. ENTP: I will politely decline.

ai

ISFJ: What? Why? 

ENTP: You make a valid point. Why shouldn't I be respected? 

ISFJ: I'm just asking that you respect my feelings.

-

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 19 Oct ‘20

We’ve got new LT Tour news and it miiight actually be realistic?? A Louis show has been added in Australia, just about the only place it's possible to imagine that a show might actually go forward as scheduled (June 2021) even if things don't change very much over the next months. LTHQ says he has “upgraded his Sydney show [it was moved to a different venue] and added a second show in Melbourne for the 2021 world tour.” Tickets for the added show go on sale Thursday. We'll see about the world part, but the idea that some shows might go forward is a win for us all! The whole world will be looking to you, Aussie livestreamers! And United By Pop posted a gushy compilation of fans sharing what Louis means to them, as collected on twitter by the author, who says she was inspired to move to London to become a music journalist by Louis.

Niall interviews continue to pop up-- today he publicly describes himself as being in a relationship for the first time ever (he's only confirmed relationships after the fact in the past, if that) and can we just appreciate that he does it in the weirdest possible way, maybe it's the lack of practice: “I'm gone, they took me away, the love angels,” he says, complete with an arm gesture waving up at ...heaven? He and Amelia have been public already for months now so it's not any kind of surprise, it's just a layer of public discussion he doesn't usually do. He talks about the upcoming charity show, saying “I think if the government are going to do nothing...the artists need to step up,” and he and Australian singer/songwriter Sam Fischer had a long zoom musical session and shared pics (“just a couple of stone cold studs having a cheeky laugh for 2 hours!”) The Men in Blazers spot didn't air in full yet, that'll be in a couple more hours, but we did get a clip of the announcer talking about fandom in these times: “in our world right now where everything feels like it matters too much, it's amazing to have something in life…that doesn't really matter at the end of the day, but it feels like it matters completely and you've got permission to act emotionally out of proportion to everything that's going on.” Niall doesn't really pick up the thread the way I'd love him to, to make the connection between male driven fandoms and what he sees from his fans on his twitter every day, but who knows, maybe the full interview will have more such treasures. He also posted about golf.

Liam's Tings magazine cover will be out next Friday (Liam in a blazer with no shirt, leather pants, and a smoldering look), new Hugo ads are out in the world now (more smolder), and we see him with a MOUSTACHE in pictures posted today as part of Movember—the campaign encourages people to 'grow a mo'[ustache] during November to raise visibility for the charity, which works on awareness for men's mental and physical health issues. “Doing my bit by growing a MO this year,” says Liam and “thanks for capturing my moustache in all its glory!” Does this mean we have to adjust our Liam Halloween costume predictions?

Meanwhile, reports of Harry going about his business in LA yesterday: he bought a camera strap and tried to buy the decorations off the wall of that shop, got some frozen yogurt, and he took some distanced fan pics (the video of him very politely running away is particularly funny.) His hair is cut and he's wearing a Friends shirt!! You can't really make out much about the haircut except that it's short on the sides and still basically the same color (who the hell started that blond Harry rumor??) but that was enough to get 'he cut his hair' trending on twitter, lol. The shirt is a reproduction of one Rachel wore on Friends, lips with 'save the drama for your mama' written inside, but not just any old redbubble knockoff, Gemma says she had it specially made (embroidered!) for Harry for his birthday, wow. I believe that Harry, unlike Niall, is self aware about the paralells between his own fanning and his fans' and reminders of the band's thing for Friends references always make me happy in that particular 'aww celebs they're just like us' way (even if the particulars of their fan merch are a reminder that they very much aren't). Anyway, Don't Worry Darling begins filming today, and in a Halloweeny twist the 'horror' tag has been added to its IMDB listing.

And finally, an ex of Briana's is suing her! He alleges that she borrowed $5000 from him to have her boobs done and never paid him back, and he's suing for the return of the loan. He says it's not so much about the money it's the principle and complains that because they broke up he “never even saw them” lmaoooo. What a pair, and I don't mean the breasts.

[collecting-stories]

3am Friend - c. 01 - Topper Thornton

Summary: Topper and y/n have been in a “friends with benefits” relationship since September but the line between friendship and something more are already starting to blur. 

A/N: This is basically four chapters: Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. Also it’s going to be a bit of a practice run at writing more smut for me lol. Also it’s smut like, right under the cut lol. 

Sophomore Year Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

What were you doing with your life...

You bit down on your bottom lip to stifle a moan as Topper’s tongue pressed against your clit, the cold tiled wall of the shower stall pressing into your back had your skin erupting in goosebumps, a contrast to the almost burning water that was hitting you. It was futile to bother concealing whatever noises Topper managed to pull out of you, the curtains of the shower stalls did little to shield their occupants from the rest of the communal bathroom, the plastic more often than not creating the perfect outline of whoever decided to use the showers. There would be no mistaking you, pressed against the wall, one leg tossed over Topper’s shoulder, his own figure silhouetted, kneeling in front of you with his hands digging into your hips.  

If anyone did find you there was a 90% chance that they weren’t just going to let you off with a ‘sorry for intruding while some guy eats you out in the shower’ but any concern you actually had about the consequences of your hookup had died the minute Topper had joined you in the shower stall. Technically he’d texted you to come over to his dorm, he lived right off the main campus, close to your building, in a still operational fraternity house. He split a room with some guy who liked to stare but never actually talk when you came around. Yours was not a relationship of anything substantial. You’d hooked up with Topper at a party and exchanged numbers and, two days later, responded to a very obvious booty call at one in the morning.  

“Holy shit!” You cursed, your voice coming out an octave higher than usual, fingers gripping Topper’s short blond hair. You could feel every muscle in your body tense as you tried to keep yourself upright, your other hand grabbing hold of the dial on the faucet in a desperate attempt to not completely fall apart as Topper sucked on your clit. He had moved one of his hands at some point, middle finger now moving rhythmically in and out of your entrance, working you through an orgasm.  

When you came down, your muscles relaxing and you pushing back against the wall to keep yourself steady, leg slipping off Topper’s shoulder, he stood up. He caged you in almost immediately, moving as close as possible in the stall and kissing you, the salty taste of cum still there on his mouth. “That pad really comes in handy,” he teased, referring to the silicone mat you’d bought two weeks earlier to scrub your feet without trying to do a yoga pose in the shower.  

You hummed, “I’ll leave that in my review on Amazon. Great for not bruising your knees.” When he kissed you again you smiled, eyes fluttering closed for a split second. This was the worst part. The part when you ran out of things to say and he would untangle himself from your arms and leave, promise to text you later.  

It was the thing that your roommate had warned you about in the beginning that you had ignored.  

“That’s like, not even friends with benefits though.” She had admonished when you told her for the first time that you had started this bizarre relationship with Topper. “I mean, you’re literally having casual sex with some rando guy that you hooked up with at a party. At a frat party. Do you even fucking know anything about him?”

“I know his name,” you had replied, rummaging through your closet to find something to wear to class, “and his phone number so I can booty call him.”

“Brilliant.” She snapped, “he could be some fucking weirdo axe murderer preying on college girls.”  

You rolled your eyes, “he’s the same age as us.” You had never been one for casual sex in your life until this point and you weren’t sure why it seemed enticing now but you wanted to branch out a little. You’d gotten your first boyfriend in ninth and you’d stuck with him until August of this, your sophomore year of college. He broke up with you, claiming the distance between your school and his was too much for him to deal with.  

It was your roommate that had dragged you to the party at the fraternity house, claiming that it would get your mood up after the guy you’d been with for the last five years decided he couldn’t do the 2 hour commute between your school and his. Three shots of tequila later and the blond you couldn’t take your eyes off of asking if you wanted to ‘go somewhere quiet’ were all the motivation you needed to put the past behind you and stop groveling over a guy who wasn’t even there.  

Still, the fact remained, even now as Topper put his hands on your hips, looking at you through the mirror and kissing the back of your head, you knew that casual sex was not your forte. Not simply because you had never done it before but because you found yourself craving those small, just after when the bubble had broken yet and there was still some lingering affection, moments as much as you craved the sex. But you had both agreed, casual. Something to take your mind off school for a few hours, a stress relief. For you it was more than that. You’d never been the most confident when it came to sex or your body, all that self-love/self-care crap was wasted on you and your gnawing insecurities. Having casual sex was like constantly challenging yourself to be your most exposed and most intimate with someone who was still relatively a stranger to you.  

“You know I think it was technically supposed to be my turn,” you mentioned, running the wide-toothed comb through your hair. You should’ve detangled in the shower except that wasn’t really top priority. What would you even say, ‘oh, would you mind not eating me out for a second so I can brush my hair’…you’d live with the awkward waves that dried in.  

“I thought we switched.” Topper shrugged, pulling his sweatpants back on. His shirt went over his head and you involuntarily pouted at the mirror, there went the view.  

“No, I said…this doesn’t technically count.” You replied, referring to the party three nights earlier and the head you’d given to avoid having actual sex on your period. You were at the tail end and you’d contemplated not going to the frat house at all but changed your mind at the last moment.  

“Hey, if you’re offering, I’m not gonna turn you down.” He joked.  

You turned to look at him, the mirror not sufficing as you stuck your tongue out playfully. “I have a test tomorrow, I have to study.”  

“Come over, you can study in my room. We’ll hang out.”  

“We are incapable of hanging out Topper.” You replied, grabbing your shower caddy and heading for the door. He walked right out after you, both of you ignoring the rather appreciative stare of one of the other girls on your floor.  

“Not true,” he’d suffered a nasty break-up in high school that he gave no more background to other than to say she had cheated on him extensively. Casual seemed to be the best he could allow himself to do though you weren’t sleeping with anyone else and, as far as you knew, neither was he.  

Your roommate looked up from her desk, rolling her eyes at the sight of Topper following you into your dorm. In the beginning of September, when this first started, it felt like you only ever disappeared at night. You saw Topper when he texted you and you might smile in the café but you never actively sought each other out. Now it was creeping toward November though, with Halloween right around the corner, and Topper felt like an accessory. He was always right there wherever you were, not that you were complaining. To anyone on the outside you looked like a couple but you both maintained the friends with benefits story.  

“Oh look who it is.” Almost two whole months of him and your roommate still greeted Topper with a disdainful glare. She was fervent in her belief that the guy you thought was damn near perfect (if only he’d actually date you) was hiding some deep-seated flaw.  

“Hey G,” Topper greeted, taking a seat on your bed as if he couldn’t tell just how annoyed your roommate was.  

-

Geena and you had been thrown together after enduring a freshman year from hell. Her roommate from the year prior had been awful, like caging yourself in with some 00’s mean girl who only found satisfaction in watching you suffer. Your own freshman roommate had been neurotic about the dorm and constantly scrutinized whether your cleaning methods were sufficient. Geena was a blessing, you got along well, hung out all the time, had become fast friends in the short time since the beginning of the semester. Topper was the only thing you didn’t agree on. She thought it was unhealthy, that it would only lead to heartbreak.  

“You can’t have casual sex with a guy for three years…people already think you’re dating. Some girl I don’t even know asked me if I could get her into a Phi Sig party next week cause my roomie is dating one of the guys.” There was a new reason almost daily with Geena, like she tore away a new page on the calendar and it offered up cons to your relationship with Topper in lieu of a word for the day.  

“I can ask for her.”  

“Oh my god, that is not the point.” She snapped.  

You sighed, “I don’t really care if people think we’re dating.”

“Why?” She asked the question so smugly you already knew where she was going with this. And you knew why it didn’t bother you that people thought you were dating, why you sometimes even fanned that flame.  

“G-“

“No, tell me why? People usually keep that shit quiet so they can hook-up with other people too. So why don’t you care?”  

“Because if people think we’re dating…they won’t try to date him.” You shrugged, practically mumbling the last part. You hated that she knew that off the bat, that she could tell that you liked him so much in such a short span of time. And you knew she had a point to all her antagonizing. You had been in too deep since two weeks into September when he told you that you looked pretty in something your ex always said made you look fat.  

-

You held the seam of your towel shut as you rummaged through the set of plastic drawers underneath your bed. Geena had done the bed on risers thing for optimal storage and you had followed along, semi grateful for the added space since both of you seemed inclined to transport your entire bedroom with you. Topper’s foot nudged your side as you got closer to him and you looked up, matching his smile when you caught him staring at you. You were sure Geena was sitting behind you rolling her eyes.  

“Guess I’ll go grab something to eat.” She announced, as if your very presence had worn her down.  

“I’m just getting changed, I think we’re heading over to Topper’s.” You replied, looking back over your shoulder at her.  

Geena scrunched her nose and stood up anyway, “still would rather not be here while you got dressed so I don’t have to pretend like I can’t see this one leering at you.” She shot Topper a look of contempt as she passed. If it was real, if he asked you out and he was really, actually, your boyfriend, Geena was positive she’d have no problems with him. He seemed like alright and he certainly made you happier and more confident than she’d seen you in the beginning of the year. But she hated the thought of you getting hurt and didn’t want to be just sitting on the sidelines watching it happen.

“I don’t leer.” He joked, turning back to you once she was out the door, “I don’t leer.”

You didn’t answer, instead grabbing your underwear out of the top drawer and pulling them on once the door was shut. The first time you had ever gotten dressed with Topper around you’d made sure that you were obscured from view, still too bashful and self-conscious of the way that you looked without clothes on. There was still that split second moment when you doubted yourself, when you thought about maneuvering your towel to hide your body from view, as if after two months Topper might suddenly look at you and decide he didn’t like the softness of your stomach or the width of your hips or any other imperfection you could find.  

You pushed through the voice though, dropping your towel and getting dressed. When you reached for the bralette your tossed on the bed beside him you realized he was looking at you. “G might have a point, maybe I should turn around.” You teased, his eyes snapping up to meet yours.  

“I’m admiring the view.” Topper replied, not at all embarrassed at being caught.  

You rolled your eyes, pulling your bralette on and adjusting your boobs until it sat right. “I don’t even know why I’m putting this on,” you mentioned, grabbing his sweatshirt to pull on over it, “I should just stop wearing underwear to your room and then I won’t ever lose it.”  

“You lose stuff? Whose wearing my hoodie right now?” He asked, grabbing the edge of the hood to pull you closer to him.  

“Your room has swallowed three of my bras...the nice ones too. Or Will like, took them.” You said.  

If there was some kind of formal set of rules that you and Topper had ever thought to draft, kissing outside of actually having sex with each other should have qualified as a major no. But nothing of the sort had ever been discussed and now, Topper leaned over, stealing a quick kiss before he got off your bed. Maybe now didn’t count as a ‘just friends’ moment though since technically you were heading back to his room, presumably to have sex. To finish what he’d started when he showed up seconds before you got a shower.  

“What would Will need your bras for?”

“To masturbate over? Who knows...all I’m saying is, I wear bras to your room, I never seem to leave with them.” You replied.  

“I promise I will find all your missing bras today, okay?” He grabbed your lanyard off the hook, keys and wallet all in one place, pulling the door open for you. “Wanna grab pizza later?”  

You chewed on your bottom lip, waiting a beat to answer him. Grabbing pizza meant, inevitably, hanging out after. Becoming friends was unavoidable, there was no way that either of you could have navigated sleeping together without some sort of relationship forming. So far it was only friendship, or at least that was all either of you were willing to let it be. Anything more than that meant an actual romantic relationship forming, something you wanted but were determined not to let yourself even entertain the idea of.  

“Fine but not from that place by Barnaby's.” You replied, pushing the door open and stepping out into the quad with him. The local bar was always teeming with college students and the last thing you wanted was someone recognizing Topper, because everyone always seemed to recognize Topper, and invite the two of you in.  

“We’ll just get it delivered.” He shrugged.  

The first time you met Topper, enough to tequila to not make you totally embarrassed as you danced with Geena in the main room of the Phi Sig frat house, you had laughed when he told you his name. It was a combination of the heels you borrowed from another girl on your floor and the alcohol that had you losing your footing, catching yourself in time not to smash your whole body into a coffee table, and landing on the couch beside Topper. He was taking a sip of beer and looked relatively startled when some almost drunk girl fell into the spot next to him.  

“Sorry!” You’d shouted over the bass as you tried to undo the straps of the heels that you were sure were also guilty of twisting your ankle.  

When he introduced himself two sentences later, “I’m Topper” you couldn’t resist a good dad-joke and smiled at him, “but I hardly know her!”

“Amazing.” He had been less amused by the joke than you were though he didn’t really seem bothered by it, at least not bothered enough to move on because he stayed on the couch for three more turns of the conversation before asking if you wanted to talk elsewhere. You were sober enough to know exactly what he meant and obliged because you were still kinda pissed at your ex and you didn’t want this year to pass the same as last year had, with nothing but school work to show as a passing of time.  

At least you’d have a good story to tell.  

Highschool you had a healthy apprehension of frat houses and the people who lived in them. You’d seen enough episodes of CSI, Law and Order, Veronica Mars, and any other crime show that existed in the early 00’s to know that frat houses were breeding grounds for terrible things. Your parents had even attempted to sway you from going to your first-choice college simply because the greeks still existed on campus. You could only imagine what they’d think now, knowing that you had spent more time in Topper’s room than you had in your own in the last month at least.  

Frat houses might’ve been sordid in your mind but so far, your reality of this one was exactly what it looked like on the surface, a bunch of guys living together with limited supervision. You still stuck to Topper whenever you were inside but you’d never had a problem with anyone in there and you rightly assumed that most of them just figured you were his girlfriend.  

“Will told me he wants that TA position next year, with Prof Berkley.” You mentioned, flopping back onto Topper’s bed and tilting your head so you could look over to the empty other side of the room that belonged to his roommate. Aside from staring at you too much and possibly stealing your bras, you still had a hunch that Topper was just messing with you and had them stashed away somewhere, Will was alright. You were both in the same area of study, pre-law, and he had told you days earlier that he was gunning for the same TA position with your advisor as you were.  

“I don’t know anything about it.” Topper replied, kicking his slides off and climbing onto his bed with you. The countdown in your head started now, hopefully soon you would be naked.  

“Yes, you do because I literally told you about it at breakfast.” You pointed out. He’d texted you that morning to get coffee with him and you ignored Geena when she told you that sex-friends don’t get coffee together. “I said I was applying for the TA spot because it’s a massive opportunity.”  

“Sounds like something I don’t have an opinion on.” He said, rolling over so that he could kiss you. “Enough chit-chat.”

“You’ve got a one-track mind Thornton.” You joked, moving your arms above your head as he pulled his sweatshirt off of you.  

“Well can I interest you in getting on that track with me?” He replied, lips brushing over your neck as he spoke. You hadn’t bothered to put on any makeup before you left your dorm, you hadn’t even bothered to dry your hair all the way. But who were you to worry about things like that when Topper was pushing your bralette up over your head.  

You jerked slightly, wriggling around on the bed when the fabric got caught half way up your arms, binding them above your head and covering your face, Topper taking advantage of the moment and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue swirling around it as you arched your back into him. “Topper!” You whined.  

He hummed, pulling away from you to take the bralette the rest of the way off and tossing it off the bed, “sorry, couldn’t resist.” He said, smiling at you as if he truly couldn’t resist. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.  

You didn’t let yourself have the moment though, pulling him in for a kiss the moment he had untangled you, hand on the back of his neck as you ran your tongue against his bottom lip, biting gently as you pulled away. Topper held himself up on one elbow, his other hand pushing passed your sweatpants.  

“Always right down to business,” you teased.  

“What do you want me to take you out first?” He was joking, you knew that, but the way he said almost sounded like he truly would take you out if you wanted him to. But then what would this be, if you had dinner before you hooked up.

“Some foreplay would be nice.” You kept the conversation light, the way you always did, and he laughed.  

“I thought the shower was foreplay.”  

You would’ve answered, thought of something witty to make him laugh again, but he had pushed your underwear to the side, fingers pushing passed your folds to brush your clit. He made the same satisfied hum that he always did when he realized that you were wet, like a quiet pat on the back. His middle finger circled your clit, a barely there shudder of nerves setting off in your stomach as you moaned.  

“I was supposed to,” you managed as he shifted further down the bed and you realized what he was doing.  

“We have plenty of time.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your stomach.  

Topper hadn’t seriously dated anyone since his break-up with Sarah. Kelce told him constantly that he was putting too much on that relationship, as if it was the holy grail by which to rate every other relationship that he had. And maybe he was allowing himself to be too scorned by something that lasted little more than a summer but he couldn’t help it. Topper was nothing if not a hopeless romantic and that had felt like such an idealistic time in his life until it all inevitably crashed around him.  

He tried casual hook-ups before you. A few girls from high school that he knew that made it practically impossible for the casual to still exist alongside the hook-up. College was easier but freshman year had been mostly dedicated to rushing the fraternity that his dad and grandfather and great grandfather had all rushed before him. Then he met you at a party in the beginning of sophomore year and he told himself it was casual but he knew that this was far from it.  

You weren’t anything like Sarah and maybe he had done that on purpose. Specifically slept with someone that didn’t remind him of anyone back home as some way to separate himself from that part of his life. To fully embody the frat boy, jock, life he was trying to live through. He figured it would just be a onetime thing and then maybe a sometime thing but now it was most definitely an all the time thing. Kelce told him that he should just ask you out but Topper felt like he was in too deep already.  

This was supposed to be strictly friends with benefits, if he crossed that line and you said no he would be crushed.  

“Topper,” you moaned, bringing him back to the moment. You shuddered as he pulled his fingers out of you, placing a kiss just below your belly button. When you tugged at the short blond hairs at the back of his head he shifted, letting you lead him back up so that you could kiss him.  

You had told him specifically that it was your turn, as if he really cared about taking turns at all. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You don’t have some fussy girlfriend bitching about giving you head.” Rafe’s colourful comments about the situation had been largely ignored but Topper knew, less crudely, he was right. The whole reason the two of you had started this was for sex of any kind and you had been the one to suggest taking turns.  

“My ex wasn’t very forthcoming with praise. He always told me I was kinda shitty at sucking dick so, maybe it’d be kinda nice to practice.” It’s been a colourful sentiment, one you had felt oddly comfortable sharing with Topper when the two of you first sat in his room discussing the arrangement.  

And while he wholeheartedly disagreed with your ex-boyfriend, Topper just liked being the one to give. He liked that moment when everything overwhelmed you enough that you let go and stopped worrying about if you looked attractive in a certain position or if your thighs were too big or if you had any unwanted rolls. That split second between overthinking and not thinking at all was powerful and Topper liked being the one who caused it. He liked the way you looked in his bed, biting your bottom lip to keep quiet so other guys in the house didn’t hear you. The way your hair tangled just from laying on your back. He could list a million things, every one more obscure, less noticeable, than the last because he felt like when you were around all he could do was pay attention.  

“Hey, quit daydreaming about Hailey Bieber-“ you teased as Topper’s movements slowed down, his lips brushing languidly against your collar like he was in some lethargic trance.  

He squeezed your side, baring his teeth to nip at your neck, scraping them across your skin and making you laugh as you turned your head towards his. That lazy smile you got was there, eyes hooded as you watched him, the moment passed and he leaned in to kiss you again. When he broke away it was only to grab a condom from the box on his dresser.  

Topper pushed your legs apart, settling between them. He slipped one hand beneath your back, guiding it into an arch to bring your chest closer to him, mouth finding one of your breasts. His tongue pressed against your nipple, swirling around it as you dug your nails in the sheets beneath you. He looked up at you, eyes hooded, as he pushed you back down against the bed. “God,” he breathed out, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”  

You grabbed the back of Topper’s neck, pulling him into a kiss, slower than the ones before, more tender. Your other hand moved down between your bodies, finding his dick, enjoying the way he moaned against your mouth as you guided him in. Despite the orgasm he’d given you in the shower you still felt that stretch as he pushed in, kissing across your jaw and sucking a bruise into the space just behind your ear.  

You would never tell Geena but somewhere between quick hook-ups and longer nights together your ‘just casual sex’ had turned into something else, something far more meaningful though neither of you would acknowledge it.  

Instead you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, Instead, you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, hips snapping against yours. The sound of your panting breath and his grunts filled the room; you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning when Topper’s fingers dipped passed your folds to massage your clit.  

“Oh god, Topper,” you whined, turning your face enough to press your cheek into Topper’s pillow, the faint smell of his cologne hitting your nose. You breathed in, always a fan of the subtle musk.  

“Does that feel good baby?” His lips brushed your ear as he spoke, words barely registering over the sensation of him. You opened your legs a little further, lifting your knee and hooking your leg over his back. The angle seemed to give more depth and his movements picked up speed. His fingers circled your clit faster as he continued to whisper words of encouragement to you. A quiet “come on baby, I know you’re close”.  

“Are you?”  

His comment had seemingly brought you just out of the haze enough to ask him if he was close. You knew you were, he knew you were, and you wanted him to be there too, just on that edge with you. As he pulled out you clenched around him and when he pushed back in it felt deeper than before, that all too familiar groan of satisfaction leaving his lips as you guided him back into a kiss. He didn’t answer your question, instead taking the opportunity to kiss you, tongue working it’s way into your mouth and dragging across your teeth. You found your grip on his hair, tugging hard enough that he jerked his hips in retaliation, hitting so deep you felt yourself go off that edge, his motion become erratic as he followed, smoothing your scream with another kiss, biting your bottom lip as he pulled away.  

There was always a moment of frenzy in the beginning when you first started hooking up. You would rush to grab your clothes, partially because you felt the need to leave when the act was done and partially because you didn’t want him to linger too long on your body. You were a temporary fix for a problem he didn’t feel like dealing with on his own, he wasn’t responsible for making you feel good about yourself. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t obligated to tell you that you were beautiful or lavish any compliment onto you at all, not that your ex had ever been willing to either. You didn’t stay, for the first few weeks you trudged back across the lawn from the frat house, back to the dorms, and snuck in. But things had changed by mid October and what was once a booty call at one in the morning when he couldn’t sleep was now you going over for pizza and a study session that turned into an afternoon spent in his bed.  

“What time is Will back?” You asked, sitting up as Topper came back into the room with two water bottles. There was still that awkward moment just after sex, as if neither of you knew how to leave behind the intimacy of the act and return to normal life. Like you were both waiting for the other to admit that maybe just friends wasn’t really what you wanted at all. So he disappeared downstairs to get water and you pulled your underwear and his sweatshirt back on, leaving the bra somewhere on the floor.  

The empty other side of the room served as a poignant reminder that time alone was only ever temporary.  

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “he’s been talking about some girl on campus that he’s dating. Won’t reveal her name apparently, he’s convinced Fitz will try to fuck with them if he finds out.” His fraternity brothers were not the same as hanging out with Kelce and Rafe every day but they weren’t the worst substitutes for entertainment. Fitz was the head of the house, a senior whose greatest claim to fame was being party to a wildly controversial radio-show that amounted to nothing more than some white guys imitating Rush Limbaugh and the Douche from Parks & Rec. He said dumb shit just to piss people off and had an unappreciated proclivity for trying to ruin any relationship one of his brothers found themselves in.  

Will was always an easy target for him though he’d set his sights on you a few times, assuming like others did, that you and Topper were dating. You had never mentioned it to Topper, Fitz was gross and you were looking forward to his inevitable graduation at the end of May.  

“Fitz totally would,” you replied. Last year you existed on no one’s radar. You hadn’t so much as gotten an offer to go out on a date with someone and yet this year, all because of Topper, you were sure, it felt like everyone in his circle seemed to pay attention to you in some way. “He told me he prank called Will’s mom two weeks ago pretending to be the on campus nurse for a bit on his radio show.”  

Topper looked up from his phone and the pizza he was ordering, frown etched onto his features. “When did you talk to Fitz?”  

“His econ class is right down the hall from my 12:30 poly sci class…he always ‘walks with me across campus’ in case I get mugged apparently.” You laughed, “I think he just does it cause he knows we hang out.”  

“I didn’t know he was talking to you.”  

You shrugged, Fitz had been goading you for weeks but it wasn’t anything that felt harmful. Just some mind-numbingly dumb conversation about parties and girls and his radio show and how hot he apparently thought you were. “It’s not a big deal, if he was bothering me I probably would’ve said something.”  

“Right,” Topper still looked miffed despite having no reason to be. You weren’t interested in Fitz and, even if you were, what say did he have over it. That old familiar feeling crept in though, the one he recognised as the same one that the plagued him after Wheezie told him that Sarah had cheated on the boyfriend before him only to find out that she had cheated on him with John B. When he looked over you were pouting at him, “what?”

“Your room is so cold.” You replied, pulling the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands as if that was an indication of the frigid temperature. The old house lacked insulation in most of the rooms, Topper’s being one of them.  

He rolled his eyes, climbing back into bed with you, the momentary worry subsiding. You weren’t his girlfriend but in that moment, as he pulled the blankets around the two of you, guiding you back down to lay with him under the covers, he could have fooled even himself about the relationship. He held his arm out in front of both of you so that you could see his phone and the menu for the pizza place.  

“I’ve been really in the mood for pepperoni.” You mused, not bothering to look at the screen and opting instead to tuck your face into his bare collar. Your hand slipped down from his chest and Topper grabbed your wrist before you could make it to his briefs.  

“Pizza first,” he said, “you’re already getting sleepy.”  

“It’s cause I’m cold.” You insisted.  

He turned to place a kiss on your forehead, “pizza.” He reminded you again.  

-

Halloween weekend creeped up and, before you knew it, Phi Sig was decorated and advertising a Halloween haunted house party for everyone on campus. Geena was going home on the actual night of to trick or treat with her sister but she agreed to go to the party with you that weekend. She loved a good party and any excuse to dress up.  

When you weren’t spending time with Topper, and sometimes when you were because he had a tendency to hang out just to hang out (the friends side of the benefit), you and Geena marathoned episodes of Supernatural. And it was at  her coaxing that your Halloween costume became an homage to the show and your favorite character. A semi-loosely interpreted Dean Winchester, complete with a flannel over your black tank top and the mark of Cain crafted by Geena using her best fx makeup skills. You wore cut-off jean shorts with your hiking boots, showing off the legs that you were usually self-conscious about. Geena was Cas, sticking a little closer to the actual costume though she made a few alterations.  

“I gotta ask…” Fitz said, coming up to the two of you the moment you were in the door, as if he was the greeting committee.  

“I’m Dean Winchester.” You explained, “G’s Cas.”  

“You dressed like a guy for Halloween?” Fitz clarified. “I was hoping for something that showed a little more…” he made a motion with his hands to indicate that the little more he wanted to see were your boobs.  

“I have the obligatory sexy cat costume but that’s…” you looked passed Fitz’s shoulder, eyes landing on Topper down the hall chatting with some friends, a smile instantly lighting up your face, “that’s for his eyes only.”  

Fitz looked behind him, catching sight of his frat brother and rolling his eyes before turning back to you, “yeah well, if Thornton’s not appreciative then you know where to find me.”  

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you laughed, stepping around him. Geena had broken off already, heading for the keg that had been set up in the corner. When you started down the hall Fitz found someone else to antagonise, leaving you to vie for Topper’s attention, not that it took you much. Just walking up had him breaking his concentration to look at you, the smile automatic. “Hey,” you greeted as he hugged you, keeping his arm around your waist as he brought you into the conversation.  

“Hey, you look great.” He praised, offering you some of his beer. Topper’s costume was best described as JFK yachting in Hyannis. He looked like a preppy New England white boy and you suspected it was all clothing he already owned thrown together differently. There was always that slight air of prep to him though college and a growing collection of hoodies were slowly eating away at that.  

“Thanks, I feel a little out of place,” you joked, noting a girl down the hall that was wearing a mock up of Amanda Seyfried’s bunny costume from Mean Girls. “Though I do have a costume change saved for later.”  

“Oh yeah,” that smile was a full blown mischievous grin and you wondered for a split-second how down he would be to ditch the whole party and take you to his room. “Does it involve these clothes on my floor?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You teased.  

You had been stressing over the purchase of a costume that could’ve been more accurately described as lingerie since it arrived at your dorm a week earlier. Did friends with benefits buy lingerie sets specifically for showing off? You weren’t sure where that one fell on the line but you were positive you were crossing into territory that was reserved for girlfriends. But even with those doubts, just the thought of Topper seeing you in something that was just for him to see you in somehow made you unable to pass up the opportunity.  

Topper groaned, pulling you closer to him so that he could press his forehead into your neck, “baby,” his voice sounded almost close to whining and you ran a hand through his hair. He nipped at your exposed collar before lifting his head again to look at you. “How long am I supposed to wait?”  

“One track mind, I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again.” You laughed, trying not to think about the way this felt so much like a relationship, pulling away from him but taking his hand, “come on, I wanna get a drink.”  

He followed you to the makeshift bar set up by the keg, refilling his beer while you ladled a generous helping of jungle juice into your cup, trying to fish as many sour patch kids as you could to add to it. You were drinking mostly to calm the nerves that were bubbling up. Geena would be gone Halloween night and the whole next day because she didn’t have classes and you were thinking of inviting Topper to stay over. Regardless of the hour or the amount of time you spent together afterward, the post-coital bliss always came to an end and one of you always left the other. Even if you got breakfast the next day there was a stretch of time that existed between the night before and the morning after where you were nothing to each other but bodies.  

“So, Geena’s going home on Halloween, I thought maybe you could come over,” you suggested. That part was a given.  

Topper looked almost confused that you were asking, “yeah, figured we’d end up hanging out anyway.” He replied.  

“Well…” you worried your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment, “I was thinking, she won’t be back til the next day…like, at night, and I thought, maybe you’d wanna stay over.”  

No. There was a voice in the back of his head, the logical one who knew that crossing the most obvious line, the one where he stayed and you woke up together, was a turning point that he wouldn’t be able to come back from. It was bad enough that he had let this become something that bordered on being a relationship to anyone looking in on it, but letting himself pretend like it was…he wasn’t sure he could come back from that when this all ended.  

“Yeah,” he said, quieting the logical side of his brain, “as long as you wear this ‘something else’ for the duration of my stay.” It might be a bad idea but who was he kidding, he was so far gone he’d accidentally referred to you as his girlfriend when he was on the phone with his mom just the day before.  

That smile returned to your face, the one that was so sly yet excitable at the same time, the perfect juxtaposition of innocence and deviousness, “Well, I was gonna wear nothing but-“  

“Nothing works for me.” Topper replied, using his free hand to hook his fingers through your front belt loop and pulling you toward him so that he could kiss you. Definitely not friends with benefits, but you’d both keep pretending until one of you cracked.  

-

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[strangerays]

Nothing in Particular Update #3

About seven months and I finished the first draft at 93k!

I always imagined how it would feel to finish a first draft (I’ve been writing novels “seriously” since about 2017) and now that I’ve finally done it, I can say it’s a better feeling than I imagined! Telling my friends and family (and even my doctor, who was really quite excited about it) was an amazing amazing thing. I’m generally pretty nervous to tell people about my work, but I had a really positive reaction. Honestly all of it has me on a creative high (not sure I’m coming down from that any time soon lol).

I’m going back for my last year of school in two days, which means I’m not going to have as much time as I did to write all summer. This is okay, because I’m actually going to take an entire month off of writing! I’m really burnt out - don’t want to start editing a story that’s so near to me if I don’t feel ready. I’ll talk more about editing when the time comes!

In a lot of ways, I found that my life mimicked my art. I think for a lot of people, it tends to be the other way around, but this story did a lot to heal me.

Going to hop right into excerpts now! I’m not going to explain much this far into the story because I would like to try to publish this story (FAR in the future) so I apologize for that! Also, I stopped naming most of the chapters until I go back and edit because there are just SO MANY and I didn’t have the time to stop and think of cool names. Anyways... enjoy!!

(Here is the link to the original masterpost!)

#1

text: Rays of gold curled to the ground, primordial and shy as the fire reeds on the cusps of shallow pool around the bay outside of Mothouse combed them to fine sparkles. I remembered the way Lonan kneeled on the edges of this pool. He never dove in – just blinked slowly as he watched crabs and minnows chase each other in a swirl of sand. I could not resist the water. I’d made it a part of me. My hair was longer then; down to my elbows, fading from dark red to orange and white, soaked always. Lonan let me borrow his shirts when I forgot to bring my own. They hung from my waist, too big for me, and I was warm even as the breeze rocked us inside.

#2

text: The sky was never blue in Point Blink. At least, I couldn’t remember the last time the clouds hadn’t given way to a dark gray mist. Jude was here. I was out of place. I was floating – watching slender, underfed pines wave in the breeze behind houses on the water before they disappeared underneath furls of cloud. Bursts of warm light shone in windows on the bay, like hungry eyes watching for a storm. A group of kids our age chaffed on a rocky expanse, their heads popping over pockets of darkness when they laughed. Froths of cloud stretched across the sky, moving the ground with it. Long stretches of trees and islands far on the other side of our small pocket of ocean looked more like large freight ships. Lights glittered and beamed on the roads and highways that belonged to the city. Pink was starting to show over the horizon. Lonan was on the other side. Somewhere.

#3

text: 

Jude sucked her lips in and flopped onto her stomach so she could see the blue below her feet. Her dark curls draped over her ears and hid her nose.

“I can’t see the bottom of the ocean.” She cupped her fingers with the other hand. “See where the water fades to white and back again? The endless tide. Why do people say the ocean is blue?”

I leaned forward. She was right. Blue ocean climbed up the side of the cliffs and turned the rocks a dark gray; ate the erosion as if from a plate. I’d never had the ocean explained to me that way before.

“I think I like it that way,” I said.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what was at the bottom of Point Blink.

#4

text: 

She smiled weakly. “It’s okay. This is just guesswork. Patchwork.”

I wanted to apologize again, but I had a strong guess that it might make her annoyed with me. “It’s kind of like… I’m just waiting for the next bad thing to happen.”

She wrinkled her nose and eyebrows, scrunched up her little face. “That’s dumb.”

“I think it’s a smart way to live.” Sometimes it felt like worry was the only thing that kept me alive. It wasn’t dumb at all.

“You’re going to be fine though. We’re going to be fine. If something bad happens, we’ll deal with it. Don’t let it eat you.”

There was wisdom in what this seventeen-year-old girl on my bed had offered me. I caught it like a gold coin. Before I could reply with anything, she launched into another question. I didn’t want to think much about change anyways.

#5

text:

“Oh. Wow. That’s like, next year.” I sort of laughed.

“A year can be a long time,” Lonan said with a wince. “What do you think?”          

I sighed through my nose and leaned back with him. The sun was going down. Sometimes, my life felt less like a golden hourglass and more like a stopwatch with a broken face.

“For once, I think I agree with your mom.”

Lonan just stared at me, with something like awe.

“I think you should do what you want,” I said.

 “Ray,” Lonan started.

“No,” I interrupted him. “It’s not about me. She’s stopped you from doing anything and everything you’ve wanted to for the last four years, so when you go to college, you’ve got to separate yourself from this place.” I pointed to him. “You’re allowed to do this.”

#6

text: 

Maybe I was just being strange. Lonan was my best friend. It didn’t help that there was a little bit of him in everything – the tide pools, the echo of shells, my broken camera.

Soon, we stood in the center of the field. A breeze whispered through the cattails, fanning against our knees. Ellis loped behind me as I stepped in and out of tire tracks under the cloudless sun. She wasn’t much different than Jude. Her footsteps crunched excitedly behind mine, excited at the prospect of an unprecedented adventure. I’d missed those.

Lonan said he didn’t like to walk in fields because the wind tricked him into thinking that someone was behind him. Every brisk of his heel was a trick of the mind. Sometimes I felt the same way, like I might be haunted.

#7

text: 

The ageless water begged me closer, frizzed my hair and swathed my arms in a sweet, familiar scent. I remembered galloping down to the shore with a childhood friend in one May. Soft piano accompanied croaky lyrics from someone’s radio when we fell chest-first into the water. Static erupted in my head. There had been nothing new for me in Point Blink for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to float. Grass turned into pebbles, and I heard Ellis’ footsteps soften to the beat of the sand. Our eyes crumbled the shells that walled the long expanse of dark sand where waves rolled in. We leaned over like two swans, crunching shells beneath our feet, displaying shells to one another, naming the ones we recognized, and when I looked out at the horizon, I saw blue.

Red plastic cups, cigarettes, and even some broken glass stuck out through the sand as we made our way further down the shoreline, as if someone had thrown a party. My brow furrowed. Maybe this part of the beach wasn’t so abandoned after all.

Between the spit of the waves and dry sand lay some sort of book. Sand trickled out of the pages and onto my shoes when I swept it out of line of an oncoming wave. Ellis was beside me in moments. Shells tolled under her shoes.

#8

*Warning for mention of blood (fake blood and fake knife!!) this takes place on Halloween haha*

text: 

Jude held the container in her palm, kneeled down so we were shoulder to shoulder. Her eyes fixed on the knife in my neck, mine on her hands, then her focused expression. Her fingers tipped my chin up, cold on my skin. I tried not to move. Suddenly, I wasn’t thinking about Dad, or Raven, or Lonan. I only let Jude in – this girl who had come out of nowhere and wrecked me, saved me. And she didn’t know any of that. I didn’t owe anything to her, but I needed her. She kept us afloat when I couldn’t even keep myself above water. Her fingers painted blood over the center of my throat, our breath quiet on each other’s cheeks. She held my shoulder as she set back.               

“Absolutely feral,” she said.

#9

text: 

“Point Blink is all I have. It’s where I am, what I am.” My throat was tight. “It’s all I’ve known. I am happy with my life. And I’m sorry, but I’m not willing to throw all of that away so we can dig up answers. I want to stay.”

 Jude sat there for a moment. I think Florian and Ellis had turned to look at us, because when we went silent, I could no longer heat their hushed whispers, only the sound of water as it rose and rose and rose. I wondered if it would rain.

Jude sat up on her hands, then her knees, then she stood over me.

“Is that what you honestly believe?”

Tears bubbled in her eyes. Blood streaked down her cheeks. I’d been so focused on not crying, I had missed when she started to.

“Point Blink is just the same as anywhere,” she said. The words sat somewhere above her inside her chest, weak and frail, as though they’d been realized a long time ago.

I’d stared into her eyes until they disappeared. She grabbed onto a branch above her and quietly swung herself around a corner. Her footsteps echoed until they dissolved into waves and birds and frogs and left me in the dark.

#10

*Warning for strong language!*

text:

“Why didn’t you tell me how you’d been feeling?” he asked after a few moments of silence. It was beginning to stretch uncomfortably.

“I know I don’t deserve to know,” he added, “but you’ve always put me first.”

I picked at the wood that peeled from the fence.

“I just want you to be okay,” Lonan croaked. “Please tell me what to do.”

Even when we were together, we still worried about each other. It wasn’t always that way. Maybe that was my fault. I didn’t want to think about it.

 “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I mumbled into the crisp, red air. “To be fair, I didn’t know it like I know now for a long time. I think sometimes I got the same way as a kid. Now I have a name for it, and I still don’t know if it feels right.” I sighed. “I guess… I guess I just thought that was how things were supposed to be. I thought I was only the humming low and the high.”

“Of course that’s not how you’re fucking supposed to be.”

 I coughed on a laugh, wiped away a new set of tears. On the rare occasion that Lonan did swear, he sounded much like he was doing it for the first time.

I hadn’t fully realized what I’d said before Lonan’s hand was around my arm. He pulled me close to his chest. I felt smaller than him; warm and safe. I exhaled and sunk into him, didn’t allow anything else in. I’d almost forgotten what that felt like.

“You’re funny and smart and better than a lot of people.”

And... that wraps up all of my excerpts for the time being! I really enjoyed writing the last four chapters of this book. Of course they aren’t perfect. A lot of the book needs improvement. There are entire characters who are flat and plot lines I just forgot about! Come October, I plan to get back into my edits/rewrite the story.

Really quick before I finish writing this:

I just wanted to thank everyone who read about my story and showed genuine interest in the characters. Had I not received all of this love from people in real life and online, I might never have finished this draft at all. When I started this story, my mental health was really quite bad. (I’m doing a whole lot better these days!!) I guess you could say the idea started as more of a journal entry. All of these characters are like little parts of me coming together to help the main character, and I think there’s something really special about that.

Thank you so much! Good luck on all your creative endeavors! It pays off in the end, I promise :)

tag list (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar​ @writeherewaiting @cryptid-s-wips @kingsinking @author-a-holmes

[notdonesimpin]

It Takes Time ~k.b.~

koutarou bokuto x reader

warnings: angst (but not with bo), fluff (with bo)

synopsis: After breaking up with your boyfriend of three years, you find yourself falling for Bokuto’s antics to cheer you up.

a/n: okay so this started as purely self indulgent and i just typed whatever felt right lol so it’s kinda long. hope you enjoy :)

“We’ve been at this for ten minutes, why hasn’t he cheered up?” Sarukui huffs. 

Akaashi sighs, watching the first years fail to lift his spirits. He’s pretty sure they have tried everything that usually works, but none of it had any affect on him. 

“We’ve got about ten minutes to turn his mood around or we might be doomed. We need him at his best performance when playing Nekoma,” Komi reminds. 

Nekoma… Y/L/N could fix this, Akaashi thought.

“I’ve got it!” Akaashi exclaims, “I’ll be back as quickly as possible!”

He rushes off to find you, leaving all of them in confusion as to what he’s talking about. 

“Y/L/N!” Akaashi yells, running towards you as you fill up the water bottles with the other Nekoma manager.

“What’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be warming up right now?” You ask and look up at him as you tighten the lids on all of the bottles.

“Are you swapping out this game? Are you supposed to help the other managers with something?”

“I am swapping out, but the other managers don’t have anything planned. We just kind of chat.”

“Good.” He grabs your arm and drags you in the direction of the gym. 

“Akaashi! Why are you dragging me?” You try to keep up so he at least wouldn’t drag you.

As soon as you get in the gym, he rushes you over to his team and pushes you in the direction of Bokuto. 

“Fix him,” he requests.

You look at him in confusion. “I don’t know how to do that!”

“Just do what you normally do! You don’t have to do anything special.”

You huff and walk over to Bokuto.

The team looks at Akashi in confusion as Komi speaks up. “You got Y/L/N?”

“Just watch.”

“Bokuto?” you walk up to him, “Are you okay?”

As soon as he hears your voice, he perks up and looks at you with a wide smile. “Y/N! You’re here to watch me play!”

“Do you want me to watch?”

“Yes! I want you to see how awesome I am! I worked on a crazy good line shot that’ll blow your mind!” He overemphasizes with his body, making you laugh a bit.

“You showed it to me last night during free practice, Bo.”

“Oh yeah…” he pouts for a quick second but then recovers, “But it looks so much better in a game!”

“I guess I can stay and watch. Don’t go too easy on us, okay?” you tease, walking over to Nekoma’s side of the court.

The entire team was in shock by how your presence alone was able to change Bokuto’s entire mood.

“Bokuto has a crush on her,” Akaashi briefly explains, “but she has a boyfriend.”

“Shouldn’t that make him even more sad?”

Akaashi shakes his head, “They are on thin ice right now, so he’s trying even harder.”

“Guys! What are you doing standing around? We have to warm up!” Bokuto yells, gaining the entire team’s attention.

Later that night, you were hanging around Kuroo at his free practice with Bokuto, Akaashi, Tsukishima, Hinata, and a deceased Lev. 

“Y/N?” you heard the voice of your boyfriend at the door.

Everyone paused with wide eyes and looked between you two.

You sat the water bottle for Lev down beside him as you asked, “What are you doing here, Seijuro?”

“We shouldn’t be having this conversation over text. Can you please come with me?” he requested. You nodded and walked over to him, giving Kuroo a look as you passed.

As soon as you were out of sight, Bokuto started to make his way after you, but Kuroo grabbed his arm. “Bokuto, not this time.”

“What if he hurts her? What if she’s crying?” Bokuto says. They could hear the sadness and desperation in his voice to make sure you were okay.

“She’ll let us know when she feels like it. Let’s practice some more. I promise if she isn’t back in fifteen minutes, we’ll look for her,” Akaashi adds in, managing to focus Bokuto’s attention elsewhere for the time being.

Meanwhile, you were sitting on the hill with Seijuro beside you.

“So you did cheat on me,” you started.

“Y/N, really?” Seijuro looks at you with disbelief.

“I asked you two days ago if what Kuroo told me was true. Two days, Seijuro. Instead of just telling me no, you ghosted me and then showed up here. You wouldn’t do all of that if it wasn’t true. I don’t want to believe you did it, and I’ve never thought you would. I’ll ask you again. Did you cheat on me?”

After a few seconds of silence Seijuro confesses, “Yes, I did.”

You could feel your heart ache and your throat close up as the tears began to well in your eyes. You got up with fists clenched, trying to keep your composure.

“I’m done, Seijuro. We’re done.”

You walk away as Seijuro follows behind you with pleas for you to just let him explain. “She didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake.”

“It was a mistake?” You pause and turn to look at him as you spat, “How long did you see her behind my back?”

He became quiet again, but this time it only made you angrier. You shook your head, taking off the necklace he gave you and tossing it on the ground in front of him.

“Three years. We were together for three years, Seijuro. Does that not mean anything to you?” Your voice began to raise with every question you asked, “Was I just an easy lay? Did you ever even care about me? Was I not pretty enough? Not good enough? Was everything you ever promised to me a lie?”

“Six months!” Seijuro cut you off, “And, no. You mean so much to me. I just got caught up because you were focusing so much on the volleyball team, and I missed you. I was selfish and stupid, and I should have talked to you about it instead of cheating.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “You played me like a fool for six months. Would you have even stopped if Kuroo didn’t catch you. Would we even be having this conversation right now?”

“No, I would have figured that what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.”

Your lips were tightly pressed together as you took in this information. “Thank you for being honest. Also, thank you for showing me how much of a joke I am. I hope you treat her better than this.”

“Y/N-Fuck! Listen to me.” Seijuro grabbed onto your wrist, squeezing tight enough for you to feel pain.

“Let go!” you wince and try to pull your arm back. 

As you stepped back, you ran into someone’s chest, looking up to see Kuroo staring Seijuro down. “Do we have a problem here?” Kuroo seethes.

The air was thick as Kuroo stared Seijuro down.

“We’re just talking, Kuroo-kun,” Seijuro grip slightly tightens as he tries to pull you closer.

“Then why does she look terrified right now? Also, I believe she told you to let go.” 

Kuroo’s eyes narrow as a dare for Seijuro to try anything again. Seijuro hesitated, contemplating on if he wanted to make this harder than it had to be. 

“Look at you being her protector. Where’s the other guy? The knight and shining armor?” Seijuro drops your wrist as he steps forward to get in Kuroo’s face.

“Seijuro, please leave. I’ve heard everything I needed to. It’s over between us. It was over as soon as you cheated the first time.”

Seijuro became quiet, backing away from the both of you as he clenched his jaw. You and Kuroo stood there in silence and watched as he walked away.

“Are you okay?” 

You nodded as you looked down and rubbed your wrist.

You walk back to the gym with Kuroo close behind you, putting on an emotionless face as you come through the door. 

Bokuto immediately noticed you and spoke up, “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You plaster a quick smile and give a small wave as you help Lev up. “Don’t worry about me! I’m just going to get Lev in bed and probably turn in myself. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“Okay…” Bokuto says, holding back everything he wanted to ask you.

He figured it didn’t go well since you looked like you were about to cry. Plus, he noticed that you didn’t have the necklace Seijuro gave you on anymore either.

After getting Lev back, you went to the bath since no one was in there and let out silent sobs as you sat in the water. 

You’d never felt so used and useless in your life. Maybe it was karma getting back at you for all the things you did when you were younger.

Maybe you just weren’t meant to find love. You were stupid enough to give everything to the first guy that ever showed interest in you. You’re a fucking joke. You always have been. 

What made you think that being with Seijuro would make it any different? 

You hadn’t realized that you’d been in there for almost thirty minutes until your phone went off from a text.

Bo: *sent a photo* Thinking of doing this next halloween. Opinions?

You giggled to yourself, looking at the photo of a Sailor Moon outfit and imagining Bokuto in it.

Y/N: you definitely have the legs for it lol

Bo: I KNOW RIGHT ;) 

You laughed a little more, wiping some of the tears from your eyes as you waited for his next message.

Bo: did that make you smile? I figured you probably left early so you wouldn’t make us worry. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, finding yourself shocked by his text. 

Y/N: yeah, it did :) plus, you guys don’t need to worry about me. I’m a big girl.

Bo: I know I don’t NEED to, but I do. 

Bo: want to join me to get popsicles?

Y/N: can you wait 20 min?

Bo: OF COURSE! Meet you outside of your building!

You rushed out of the bath to put on some clothes and meet him outside. 

As soon as you walked outside, he stood up and softly smiled at you. “You ready?”

You nod, watching him jump for joy as he walked beside you. “There’s a store about five minutes away. I hope that’s okay.”

You lightly laugh, “It’s fine, Bo. I needed a post break up snack.”

His eyes widened, “Oh, I’m sorry about that.”

“You don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets, kicking a few rocks on the path. “I know,” he mutters, “I can’t imagine how bad you feel, though.”

You shrug, “I don’t even know how bad I feel. I know that I’m upset about why it happened, and I know that I’m the one that broke up with him. I guess it just feels like a fever dream.”

Bokuto nodded, letting the two of you fall into silence for the rest of the way there. He didn’t want to seem like he was pushing you for answers that you weren’t ready to give and you appreciated it.

As soon as you got in the store, Bokuto grabbed a small basket and handed it to you. “Go get your feel better snacks. I’ll get the popsicles and some ice cream.”

“Bo-”

He cut you off before you could respond. “I’m covering it, so don't worry about it. I know you like to eat your feelings when you’re sad. Even though you think you put on a good mask, I can always tell when you’re sad, so please get your comfort food. However much of it you need.”

He walked off towards the freezer section before you even had the chance to respond.

~

The next morning, Kuroo was carrying you on his back to the gym since you refused to get up. 

“Does this count as kidnapping?” you question.

He rolls his eyes, “No, but it will count as a murder if you don’t stop sulking and doubting your worth. He was the one in the wrong, and he is the idiot. Not you. So, I’m not going to let you wallow in self pity. You’re gonna stay busy.”

You mumble out a few curses, “You could have at least let me put on a fucking hoodie before dragging me out here.”

“I will drop you and feel no mercy.”

You pout, “I need a new best friend.”

“Well, good luck finding one.”

You hear Bokuto chant and look his way to see him giving Akaashi a high five.

“Kuroo, why is Bokuto so nice to me?” you question, “I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve it.”

“Being nice isn’t something people have to earn. Do people need reasons to be nice? That’s just the kind of person he is.”

“I know… I just figured- nevermind.”

Kuroo stops and you jump off of his back, immediately going in his bag to steal his jacket. 

“Nope, now you have to tell me,” he snatches his jacket from you.

You let out a huff, “Last night, he took me out for popsicles and bought my snacks because he knew I needed it. Plus, he told me that he always notices whenever I’m upset and hiding it.”

Kuroo laughs as he hands you the jacket. “You are so oblivious.”

He grabs his bag and walks off as some of the other managers call you over before you could ask him what he meant. 

~

A few months later, you were at nationals with Nekoma. 

As soon as you walked in, you heard your name get called.

“Y/N! I’ve missed you! Are you going to watch me play today?” Bokuto questions, practically jumping up and down.

You softly laugh, “Yeah, I think I can be there for the first match before they have to get warmed up.”

His eyes brightened, “Really?”

“I wouldn’t want to miss my favorite Ace playing,” you grin.

“Hey!” Yamamoto exclaims, but you dismiss him.

“I have to help them register, but I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Bokuto nods as you walk off with a wave.

“Kuroo,” you start, “At the training camp… you said that I was oblivious to why Bokuto paid so much attention to me.  I think I get it now.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow, “You do?”

You nod, “Yeah because I could tell how sad he was that I couldn’t watch his entire game and how disappointed he was that we couldn’t talk any longer. I guess I never really noticed that I’d begun to like him until we were face to face again and not talking over the phone. Does that mean Bokuto likes me, too?”

“Ask Akaashi to steal his other jersey for you to wear and see what happens when you walk in before the game starts. You’ll get your answer.”

A few hours later, you tossed on Bokuto’s jersey over your long sleeve shirt and walked into the small gymnasium to see him.

There weren’t many people in there yet since it was the first game of the day and it hadn’t even started yet.

You leaned against the railing and yelled, “Bokuto! Akaashi!”

Akaashi gave you a small wave and thumbs up as Bokuto ran over to you excitedly. “You made it!” He glances down at your shirt with wide eyes and points.

You feel your cheeks heat up and stammer, “Oh! Akaashi gave it to me! I wanted to support you as much as possible, but I can take it off if you want me to!”

You fumble with the hem as Bokuto places his hand over yours. You look up to see a soft smile on his face as he shakes his head and his cheeks redden.

“Keep it on. You look really cute,” he confesses.

“O-Oh… thank you. I’ll give it to your manager before I leave.”

“No!” he exclaims, clearing his throat out, “I don’t need it today, so if you could keep it on… I don’t want any guys trying to hit on you or anything.”

“Bokuto-san!” Akaashi yells, motioning him back over.

“Okay!” Bokuto looks back at you and taps his cheek, “Good luck kiss?”

You laugh but comply, earning a cheer from him as he rushes off. 

You watched as much as you could of his game, cheering him on every time that he made a great play and cheering him up whenever he seemed to get down on himself.

Bokuto noticed when you left, feeling upset that you couldn’t watch the rest of his game; however, he saw your disappointed face as well and decided that he’d keep playing his best game so he could tell you all about it.

At the end of the day, you were laying down on one of the practice gym floors as you waited for the rest of the team to show up when you felt someone poking your cheek. You scrunched up your nose, refusing to open your eyes as you say, “Let me rest in peace.”

“I would, but I kind of need my jersey tomorrow. How about we trade?” Bokuto says with a wide grin as you open your eyes.

You notice one of his old team hoodies in his hand that he never let anyone touch because he didn’t want it to lose it’s luck.

You shrugged off his jersey as you say, “I thought this was your favorite.”

“It is, so take good care of it, okay?” he grins, “Plus, you need something that’s actually warm when we head out.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Head out?”

“The next few days are going to be hectic for all of us, so I figured we should have a little bit of fun while things are still decently calm,” he shrugged, “I already told Kuroo, so just meet me at the by the side gym after your team meeting, okay?”

“Okay…”

He grins and ruffles your hair before rushing off to find Akaashi.

~

Thirty minutes later, you were met with Bokuto’s beaming face. “You ready?” he softly asked, walking up to you.

“Lead the way!”

You found yourselves in a park and sat on the ground to chat about random nonsense.

“Y/N, look at me,” Bokuto requested. You complied, watching him tuck a flower behind your ear with a grin.

“How do I look?”

“Perfect,” Bokuto muttered as his eyes glanced down at your lips and his hand caressed your cheek as he leaned towards you.

As soon as you felt his lips ghost over yours, you pulled back and placed a hand on his chest. Bokuto opens his eyes, failing at hiding his disappointment at your action.

“It’s too soon, isn’t it?” he softly asked.

“Wait, I-” you look down embarrassed, “I’m sorry.” Your hand drops from his chest and onto your lap.

He gives you a reassuring smile, “Don’t be. I should have let you make the first move when you were ready. I just got excited since I’ve never been able to act on my feelings for you.”

“Bokuto, I like you. I really do, but I don’t know if I’m good enough. I wasn’t good enough for Seijuro, so there’s no way I can even be a fourth of what you need. I gave so much of myself to him just to make him happy and it still wasn’t enough to keep him from finding someone better.-”

“I’m not him,” Bokuto cuts you off, visibly becoming upset that you think so lowly of yourself. “You can’t judge what I need based on him, either. Y/N, you are a lot more special than you give yourself credit for.”

“I’m really not…” you mutter, looking away from him.

“I’ve liked you for over a year now, Y/N. If you weren’t special to me, I wouldn’t still want to be the one holding your hand down the street or even coming to a park late at night just to talk because I love hearing your voice.”

You both fell in silence as he laid down to look at the stars. Without thinking, you laid beside him and admired the sight of the night sky.

“You remind me of a star. Without you, my life would be pretty dull,” he looks over at you with a silly grin on his face. 

“Was that supposed to be some corny pickup line?” you giggle.

“Yes, but I meant it. Without realizing it, I began to try to always play my best to make sure I had a good story to tell you. Even just thinking about you during a match would get me really hyped up and I’d play better. I would do anything to never see that pretty smile leave your face.”

“Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.” He turns to face you, “You are everything I need and more. You don’t have to pretend to be anything you aren’t with me because I like you the same when you’re bumming it out at Kuroo’s or Kenma’s house and when you’re glammed up for a girl’s night out.”

“When did you realize how you felt about me?”

As if Kuroo knew where the conversation was headed, you both got a text from him in your group chat.

Ku: Alright, love birds. Y/N’s curfew is approaching. I expect her back in 15 minutes on the dot. We ALL have an early morning.

You roll your eyes as you send back a quick text while Bokuto laughs and gets up.

Y/N: Get a life, Kuroo…

Bokuto extends his hand out to you with a cheeky grin. “May I have the honor of walking your highness back to her temporary castle?”

You grab his hand, letting him pull you up with a laugh. “Only if you promise we can stop for hot chocolate.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he hums and laces his fingers with yours as you begin to walk in the direction of your hotel, continuing the conversation, “I think I’ve always liked you at least a little bit. I mean, it was hard not to like you when I finally met you since you were really sweet. So, when I heard you had a boyfriend, I just kind of brushed off those feelings like ‘as long as she’s happy, I’m happy.’ Then, when you introduced me to him at that practice match during our second year, I just felt that he wasn’t good enough for you. I knew you could do better, and I could be better for you than that pretentious asshat. I guess what really made me realize that I liked you was actually seeing you with him. I was disgusted that he got to touch you and hold you in ways that I never could. I felt like he’d built this wall between our friendship, and I hated him for it.”

“How come you never told me you felt that way about him?” you question.

“How was I supposed to? Was I supposed to tell you that your boyfriend was a piece of shit so come date me?”

“Maybe not in that exact way, but yeah. You’re usually pretty honest, and I trust your judgement most of the time.”

Bokuto dramatically places his hand on his chest with a drastic sigh, “Most of the time? You wound me.”

The entire walk consisted of cheerful banter and jokes, making fun of each other. 

As soon as you were in front of the hotel, Bokuto’s shoulders slumped. “I wish we could hang out a little longer.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed to hanging out again after nationals are over,” you hum, turning to face him.

“Really?!” 

You nodded and his eyes lit up. You could tell that he already had a million different things to do running through his head.

“I can’t wait! We’re going to have so much fun!”

Another text from Kuroo came through: Can you guys kiss already and go your separate ways?

“I guess I should go before Kuroo actually storms over here,” you huff and continue, “I just wanted to say thank you for not getting mad at me earlier…”

He tilted his head with a wide grin, “I could never be mad at you! I understand that getting over an ex takes time, so we can go as slow as you’d like. I want you to be comfortable with me.”

You feel a weight lift off of your shoulders as he pulls you in for a hug. You both pull back and you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading inside.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” you grin, opening the door to walk inside.

Bokuto smirks, “You act like you aren’t going to call me in an hour.”

You flick him off, earning a laugh from him as he waves you off and walks away.

“Do you get it now?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow as you walked over to him and sat down on the couch.

“Can you not pry into my love life?” you huff.

“Love life? I was just talking about his crush on you! Are you guys together now?”

Your phone buzzes with a text from Bokuto: the next time we go out, i’m taking you on a date! 

Kuroo peeked over into your phone as you typed a quick reply back: looking forward to it :)

“Finally!” Kuroo chered, “You’re acting on your feelings, and it’s not a shitty guy!”

You rolled your eyes, unable to come up with a witty response since you knew he was right. 

Maybe healing wouldn’t take much longer with Bokuto by your side.

[fandom-sheep]

Fundy 28 APR 21

Delayed Liveblog Vault Hunters Part 1/1

Our favorite fox is damp. And apparently can’t get his hair to sit right.

He’s already having to raise the redemption price. It’s been 5 seconds.

I don’t even quite get Vault Hunters I know Hbomb did it last season and that it.

Charm. Lovely.

Is the bottom right a confetti cannon?

Oh no we have to fight? We can’t be trusted.

We are the sort of people to purposefully lose the fight.

Don’t get me wrong. We love Fundy and will cry on command. But also we are rather mean to him.

Mystic Tomato. I don’t know what it is but I love it.

I was saving up Chanel points for water and ads. But now I gotta save for those and the little fun reward pack things.

Oh no. Did we hit 100 subs already? That’s what it says over his name?

Confetti canon?

5up! Hooray!

HBomb humoring Fundy with the emotes.

Fight fight fight!

So close. We tried out best to fight the giant.

Alright chat. We need another arena. Everyone get him.

Everyone in chat yelling about Phil doing stuff in OSMP. Wrong server y’all. We can deal with that later.

Ooo are we doing VC?

Everything is so chaotic already.

Tubbo and Fundy trying to figure everything out.

You know things are confusing when the original people are like “the what?”

There was a how to play meeting? And somehow these boys are still confused.

Tubbo at least has an excuse to be confused.

I love skill trees in games. They just look so pretty.

“I see a melon!” -Fundy

5up our beloved.

My streamer is being beat up with a boomerang.

Fundy doesn’t know what’s happening, but he’s rich so it works.

Tubbo is just saying every name in hopes he says the right one.

Pizza!

We attack!

WE WIN!

We did it! We’re a good chat!

Is 5ups skin still cog champ themed? Maybe not. Maybe my brain is being goofy.

Is Fundy complaining about his hair? I’m not actually paying attention. What is chat on about.

That’s one thing that can be said about all the chats. They like it when their streamers have fluffy hair.

Chat really is just crying aren’t they. Fundy’s chat has a skill of crying at everything.

Hooray 5up is active! Fundy go say hi for us!

Hooray friends!

Super good item! I don’t get it, but super good item!

ITS THE BEING!

Arena arena. We’re almost to the arena!

Aww. I missed the bets.

ARENA TIME!

Beat em up chat!

Oh no. He’s hitting hard.

WE DIDS IT!

ARENA TIME!

Oh were getting hit hard.

But we did it!

Good Job Wolf! Awesome Millionaire!

No arena box for winning. Rude.

Chat can’t even remember how many fights we’ve won.

Stupid full inventory.

Temporary base on the hill.

Pretty chest!

All the gifted subs. Such a popular streamer.

That looks so cool! I missed what it did but it looks cool!

Ooo all sorts of cool things.

Look at chat go

SHULKER SHELLS!

Look at everyone giving Fundy things.

It’s neato that they use peoples skins. That you can see the people who donated.

Shulker crates! Nice! That’ll be good for transporting things.

We’re so fancy.

Ooo sorting. The most complicated thing.

Chats over here spoiling our streamer.

Wool?

ARENA TIME!

We got this!

Beat em up subs!

WE WON!

Looting 2 noice.

Mods bribing chat to stop barking with Scooby snacks. I love them so much.

Wolf my dear you have done nothing wrong.

Oh cloud9 has a fox skin!

Ooo create mod. We know about that.

A lovely little base.

Cake is being stolen all over the place.

Stab stab the dragon.

Hooray follow goal! Music time!

Oh... that was it. Alrighty we’ll take what we can get.

Time to win an arena subs. We want music.

Our boy is confused.

Fundy just read the chat. They are telling you.

I got to get this time! The subs will destroy everyone!

Happy Halloween?

Gasp! Mega gift!

Pretty skin!

We love the Fundy mods dearly. They are so chill and nice.

The water well has run dry.

The streamer has escaped. It’s just us, the mods, and the chair.

Oh a Schlatt plush! Neato!

Schlushy I agree with that name.

“Not the hat the other one.” LOL.

Chat go Glatt

Went to get water the. Forgot to drink it.

Subs can modify emotes left and right.

Viper good job! Good book!

Fundy doing his game at middle of the night o’clock.

Streamer... please sleep. Please eat meals.

We’re almost at the Arena!

Sleep 8 hours... just at the wrong time.

Chat fully admitting to thinking our streamer is dumb enough to fall in lava.

We have learned to balance our expectations Fundy.

Oh this is going to be a long stream. A really long stream. I’ll probably need to take a break and do some work.

Arena Time! Beat em up subs!

Good job subs!! You did it!

Let’s see what we get for the arena.

So many Wolf!

Diamond!!!

Putting the winners on their boxes. Nice.

I have so much work to do, but I just want to watch the funky Fox.

Villagers? We love villagers.

PIANO!

Oh we’re switching screens it’s serious piano.

So lovely. I love listening to music people do their things.

I love the fact the subs keep shouting FundyJam!

I swear improv music should not sound this lovely

Spooky sounding tune. Sounds like a boss fight in a haunted castle.

Awesome piano!

Poor boy so annoyed by his hair. Bless his heart.

For anyone who doesn’t touch Twitter. The Fundy Updates Twitter is fabulous and amazing. They are just always so upbeat over everything.

Trying to nether portal. You go fox friend.

Wow Just portal to the center do a lava lake. Under soul sand.

You go 5up! You get that bastion.

Rip 5up.

Poor Fundy doing his best.

How’s the VC crew doing?

MENDING GOLD PANTS!!!

The drip is back!

Also I voted no in the will he burn pole. I have faith in my streamers.

We’re calling Fundy emo now. And he’s trying to deny having an emo phase, and failing.

I don’t know what’s happening half the time in this chat.

Fire Fox!

We’re still calling Fundy emo. Chat spoils the streamer and chat bullies the streamer.

Oh are we trending emo Fundy? Nice. I’m conveniently scrolling on Twitter.

Look at us bully our streamer.

The two people in chat. Those saying emo Fundy. Those going “his hair is nice stfu”. The duality of chat.

Sounds of suffering coming from the nether.

Fundy has taken responsibility for enderpearls.

We cursed Fundy? I look away for 10 seconds.

Pixel has turned on Fundy.

Fight that ghast.

Fundy’s going to get all the endermen.

Piglin goes smack.

We’re wearing the drip. Nice.

Everyone gets rich so fast here.

Well. We’ll just leave the corpse there.

Sizzle.

The people who bet on him dying are so rich in channel points now.

*sad fox noises*

Surely not. Fundy we have lost all hope in you.

Pixel doing everything they can to do anti emo Fundy.

Aww. I missed the prediction. I bet he won’t die. I believe in him.

Fundy being scared by his own body. Cant wait to see that clip everywhere on YouTube.

Back to attacking the endermen.

Tubbo is such a villain. He’s so willing to kill HBomb.

Fundy just getting back to work.

I’m sorry corpses become skeletons. That’s horrid.

Off to get the dragon. The dragon the dragon.

Tubbo was smote.

HBomb and Fundy fully ready to be that person that steals the temple.

Hbomb shaped chest. That is great.

Everyone bullying HBomb.

Almost Arena time.

Betting yes on the arena. The subs are strong and they’ve got this.

My twitch app is being stupid. This might be my signal to take a break and do my school work.

8k boosters and the chat goes nuts.

Chat from where I am is just a bunch of booster packs. I think I need to close and reopen the app.

There we go. There is the lovely chat.

Arena time!

Aww. My bet disappeared when I moved the app.

No! He’s cheating! The subs are doing their best!

Good job subs!

I mean it’s a diamond sword. It’s not diamonds but it’ll do.

I heard a du du du du?

I’ve got to go. Time to be productive with my life and time.

Let me know if I miss anything especially stupid or funny.

Alright it’s been 2 and a half hours but I’m back.

Looks like I missed a lot, and the boy has been going 5 hours.

Still on Vault Hunters? How is he not tired of this yet good gracious.

We’re enchantin’

I don’t know what’s happening but I’m watching.

Who stole all the luck from the boy?

Good that he’s drinking plenty of water

Good that he’s taking a break for foods.

What is with the lightening sounds? I don’t like it.

Spare the soup pet.

Sadness. No 3rd cow.

Yes! One more arena!

Lure da cows.

No that’s the Fundy Cow!

Nooooo. That’s worse than killing it!

Did we win our other arenas? I only say the first 5 or so.

Lightening Cow. Lovely.

Noooo the cowwww!

For once Fundy isn’t the one thriving.

He tunneled the cow out. Wow.

Bye 5up! Good luck!

Hi Crumb. The cow was snatched.

Noooo. Quit stealing our cows!

What he jumps like Superman and steals our cows.

Cow bunker.

These cows will get snatched. I just know it.

No. No taking da cows.

Our cows must be protected.

Enchanting is not on our fox’s side

Oh so they did beat the enderdragon. Good for them.

All sorts of neato elytra.

I must go again. I am called to dinner.

Good job getting you diamond sir.

30 minutes later I am back and we are chatting with HBomb.

Sharp boomerang.

Saw a bit of cat maid peaking out there.

5up judging Fundy for just sitting and mining.

Oh the facecam is off. I’m just noticing.

I guess it probably goofed up and froze.

Everyone in chat talking about how much to make the magic packs. I like the people saying 6.9k just for the funnies.

I’m voting 6.9k in the pole just for the funny.

I know it won’t win but I’m doing my part.

Goblins? What the squeak did I miss?

What. We stab the goblins. And they give us emeralds?

This mans has been going for 6 hours and a while. I hope he doesn’t forget to look after himself. He was talking about eating an hour ago.

I love all the product minions. All the donators just chilling on their chests.

Why are all the minions black and white? I missed that one?

Oh they run out. They ran out of stuff and out of color.

Wealth in the chest, since we don’t have a mouth.

Angel or Fairy? Is that even a question? (Chat chose fairy)

Fairy Fox. I want to draw that but have negative amounts of art skills.

We’re killing time until we hit 7 hours.

We’re meeting up with 5up! Nice!

Oh HBomb left and thought Fundy hadn’t done anything in 20 minutes but jump around his castle. LOL.

We hit 7 hours and dipped.

7 hours and almost a thousand subs. Look at us go.

Hello Puffy Raiders! You’re a bit late but hello!

Oh no. He’s panicking and not ending.

Please someone who feels like being annoying remind the mans to eat.

Raffle? Oh donators! They go through a raffle thingy! Nice!

Hooray OSMP but also Fundy please sleep and such.

Not even raffling. Just opening and closing.

Nice spin noises.

WOLF! Wolf earned to win the raffle.

Wait wait wait? Fundy go get some food and go to bed!

Hey look there is our streamer!

This is the max post size lol. 5up raid let’s go! Hello 5up! We are here! But now I’m going to bed. Oh nevermind. I hear the fox. Ah that’s smart 5up. Anyway. I’m gone now.

[dbnightingale24]

Last Chance At Redemption

Chapter 6

~~

This is short but I might post chapter 7 tonight. I’m on the fence because I’m going through everything I’ve written, and I’m having second thoughts. However, the night is young and we’ll see what happens. Anywho, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Also, random ass fun fact,I do have a slight phobia of big houses. Big buildings in general. I just had a nightmare about it the other night lol. No, I don’t know why I’m like this.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff (if you squint), shitty writing...I think that’s it.

Word Count: 1931

Songs That Inspired This Chapter:

Spitting Games - Snow Patrol

I do not consent to have my works/stories posted anywhere else.

~~

Abigail groaned in frustration as the sunlight crept into the room. She pushed herself away from the edge of the bed, trying to escape as much of the light as possible, until she felt a broad chest behind her. Ransom. He had his arm innocently draped around her waist, and even though she wouldn’t admit it out loud, she felt content. She and Todd rarely had moments like this anymore, and she hated that the one person who was awakening feeling she thought had died, was the one person she shouldn’t want to be with. The one person she couldn’t be with.

 Right behind her, Ransom was wide awake with his mind racing a million miles a minute. This was never apart of his plan. He didn’t do this. He didn’t catch feelings for anyone, because feelings were useless. All he wanted to do was fuck her, and that was proving to be harder than he thought. He didn’t even know why he craved her so bad. Yeah, she was hot but he could find someone else. There plenty of women begging for his cock in any hole he wanted to put it in, but as the days went by, he wanted those women less and less. It didn’t matter anyway, she’d never return his feelings. Not after everything that he had said and done. However, for the time being, he could just pretend. Pretend that they were together and it was normal. Pretend that he would be falling asleep next to her again tonight, and that he would be able to hear her mumbling in her sleep. He had been pretending he was okay with the way his life was for years anyway. What was more thing going to hurt?

 Both of their thoughts were interrupted when Abigail’s phone went off. “Oh, what the hell?” she groaned, as Ransom pretended he was just waking up. She rolled over slightly to grab her phone, and Ransom pulled her closer to him before he could stop himself. The small gesture made her heart flutter. “It’s Taylor.” she smiled, answering the FaceTime.

 “Hey, where the hell..oh, hey there Ransom.” Taylor smirked.

“Don’t fucking start,” Abigail laughed “I drank way too much last night and he wouldn’t let me drive home. His house is big, so I asked him to stay with me.”

“You and your weird phobia of big houses.”

“I could get lost and never get found!”

“Bitch, you have a big house!”

“Thank you,” Ransom interjected, causing both Abigail and Taylor to laugh.

“Both of you shut up.” Abigail laughed “Besides, I made you stay with me for 2 weeks, so I could get used to it.”

“Making me abandon my husband and child.”

“Cause fuck them.”

“Real nice thing to say about your goddaughter.” Taylor laughed, almost falling over.

“You know I love my peanut. What is she going to be for Halloween?”

“Oh, she wants to be like her mother. She wants to be a painter.”

“Seriously?! Send me every single photo! You two have to match!”

“We will, we will.” Taylor laughed. “However, I called you cause Lisa called me. She said you weren’t answering your phone and she went by your house and you weren’t there.”

“I’ll call her back at some point.”

“As much as I can’t stand the little bitch, I’m sure today is just as hard for her, as it is for you.”

“I honestly have no clue. I have no idea what goes through her head anymore. She’s more like him than she cares to acknowledge.”

“Are you gonna call your mother at all?”

“I want to be in as little contact as possible with members of my family today.”

“Does that include Heidi?”

“Watch it.”

“What? She’s technically your step-mother and she did give birth to your youngest sibling.”

“Trust me, I haven’t fucking forgotten.”

“I still can’t believe you almost ran her over.”

“I still can’t believe my mother stopped me.” Abigail scoffed. “However, I do feel bad about last year. It was just her and Hannah.”

“What about her family?”

“Oh, they’re not talking to her. At all.”

“Well, that fucking sucks….wait a minute…you feel bad…you’re not gonna...Abigail. No.”

“It’s what my father would have wanted. I have to accept her at some point.”

“How the hell are you gonna tell your mother?”

“Very, very drunk.” Abigail sighed. “She doesn’t have to come out for the holidays if she doesn’t want to.”

“You think she wants to spend it with her family?”

“I honestly don’t understand why she can’t get along with her parents. Maybe it’s because they weren’t strict enough? Who knows. My whole family is fucked.” she laughed, getting a small chuckle out of both Ransom and Taylor.

“I’m guessing you’re gonna invite her over for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

“Seems the right thing to do, even though Thanksgiving is fucked.”

“Would it make your life easier if me and my merry misfits came out?”

“Don’t play with my emotions.”

“I mean it. All of us miss you, I’m positive there will be some sort of drama cause your family fucking sucks, and this is a big step for you. I’m really proud of you.”

“You’re a literal angel, did you know that? The world should be jealous because they don’t have you for a best friend.”

“Yeah well, you have done more than your fair share for me. It’s the least I can do. Where’s Todd in all of this? Is he doing anything with you today?”

“He thinks I’m so emotional because I’m on my period.”

“Okay, I really don’t fucking like Todd and I haven’t even met him.”

“Please, can we not do this today? I can’t afford to be upset about more than one thing today.”

“Fine, we will be having this talk soon though.”

“Fair enough.”

“Are you gonna be okay tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m not geeked about spending the night in that house alone, but I’ll be alright.”

“Why not have Todd over?”

“I don’t want to see him today. I know for a fact that we’ll just argue.”

“Well, you know you can call me if you need me. I don’t want you going down that dark road all over again.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve been on my best behavior.”

“And mama is proud of you. Ransom?”

“Yeah?” he asked, turning his head to see Taylor on Abigail’s screen.

“Didn’t mean to steal her from you for the last 20 minutes. How are you today?”

“Um, I’m fine?” he laughed, not sure why she was acknowledging him.

“That’s good, that’s good. Thank you for taking care of my little princess here. I knew you couldn’t be too terrible.”

“Don’t go around telling people that.”

“Oh, don’t you worry. She’s been hanging around me and my shit bird family for years. People won’t start getting any feel good vibes about you anytime soon. I’ve gotta go though, it’s time to take your precious Harper to ballet.”

“Give my little ballerina a bunch kisses and hugs for me, please. Tell her Auntie Abby misses her.”

“Will do, my love. Remember, call me if you need me. Ransom, it’s been a pleasure.” Taylor nodded before hanging up.

“What did she mean by that?” Ransom, propping himself up on his elbow.

“By what?”

“That you’ve been hanging around her and her shit bird family, so people won’t change their opinion of me?”

“Oh, that.” Abigail scoffed. “Uhh, Taylor kinda comes from a fucked up family.”

“More fucked up than yours?”

“It depends on who you ask.”

“Well, what happened?”

“Nosey much?”

“Yes.” he said matter-of-factly, and Abigail burst out laughing.

“Ask her yourself when she’s out here for Thanksgiving.”

“You want me to meet her?”

“Oh, she wants to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Cause she’s just as nosey as you are.” Abigail laughed, trying to get up, but Ransom kept his hold on her. “I have to go, Hugh.”

“You could stay.”

“No, I should get home and deal with…today.”

“I can come by later and we can work on the story, if you want.”

“That’s actually a good idea. I’m sure by tonight I’ll need something to distract me.”

“They’re a ton of things I can do to distract you.”

“Ransom” Abigail warned and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll behave. However, I still believe you should break up with Todd. He really thinks you’re upset because of your period?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Abigail groaned, laying back down on the bed, and covering her face. “I can’t deal with anything else draining today.”

“You’ll get through it. I’ll see you around…8?”

“Yeah, that should be fine.” Abigail sighed, sitting up again. “Where’s your hamper?”

“What?”

“For the clothes. Where do I-?”

“Just keep em.”

“Hugh-”

“They’ll be safer with you. You said so yourself, I treat my things like shit. Besides, I like seeing you in my clothes. I’d much rather see you-”

“Ransom.”

“I’m just saying. Even though some things have changed between us, a lot of things haven’t changed for me.” he said, lightly tracing his fingers along her arm.

“Leaving now.” she choked out, clearing her throat and standing up. She picked up her clothes and grabbed her cell phone. “I will see you tonight.”

“Looking forward to it.”

“Bye Ransom” she sang over her shoulder.

~~

 taglist: @jennmurawski13 @goldenfightergir @princess-evans-addict @jeremyrennermakesmesmile

[coralstories]

October 22nd: Costume

Day 4 of @dumbassunderthemountain​ 13 Days of Spooky Writing Event

sort of Kili x human femReader

Warnings: none really. Reader is kinda sad/homesick.

Word count:1157

A/N: I actually struggled with this prompt, not sure why lol. But here we go!

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield was concerned about their latest, unofficial member. Y/N had been unusually quiet and dispirited for the past month. They all guessed that now that they had reclaimed the mountain, she was missing her own home. None of them knew how to approach her about it, though. Kili was the first one brave enough, or some would say tactless enough, to broach the subject with her.

“Hey, Y/N,” Kili said as he entered the kitchen. “Good morning.”

“Hey,” she said softly.

She was stirring something in a pot, but her gaze was unfixed. Her words were distracted. Kili sat at the bench with his head resting on his chin, examining her. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

Y/N froze for a moment. She dropped the spoon with a clatter and turned to him with one hand on her hip. Kili straightened.

“Um, what?” Y/N demanded.

“I mean, lately you seem so… sad. Is everything okay? Are you not happy here with us?” Kili said.

“No! I mean, that’s not it. I don’t regret meeting you all. I just…,” she trailed off.

“You miss your world,” Kili said. “But you’ve been here quite a while. What brought you into this mood?”

Y/N sighed and sat opposite him. 

“Well, it’s fall.”

“You said you like fall.”

“I did, I do! Will you let me speak?” Y/N huffed.

Kili put a hand over his mouth and nodded.

“It’s fall. Back home, this would be the time the seasons start changing. The air gets colder, the leaves fall from the trees, pumpkins start popping up everywhere. Halloween is October 31st, everyone’s looking for costumes, having parties, things are getting spooky. I just miss it. This season, back home. It was fun.”

She paused. Kili stayed quiet, watching her relive memories. He sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He rubbed her back and pulled her to lean on him. 

“You’ll be okay,” he said. “We’ll figure it out.”

The next day, Kili cornered his brother and uncle in the throne room. 

“We need to do something for Y/N,” Kili said. 

Thorin and Fíli glanced at each other. 

“We’ve noticed she’s been rather downcast for a while,” Fíli said. “But what can we do? She probably just misses her own world.”

“That’s not exactly it. She wants a costume party,” Kili said. “She mentioned it yesterday.”

“A costume party? Do you mean a masquerade ball?” Thorin asked.

“I think—not exactly,” Kili said.

“In any case, something like that would take time to organize,” Thorin said. “Especially during this time of reconstruction.”

“As long as we can do it before the end of the month,” Kili said. “She told me the holiday was on October 31st.”

“The holiday?”

“Halloween! She said she celebrated it at home.”

Kili, Fíli, and Thorin debated a bit more. Thorin was worried about logistics. Kili was worried about getting everything right, and Fíli wondered if they could make it a surprise. They finally came up with a decent plan, enough to pull in the other members of the company.

Fíli smiled. “Let’s do it.”

They spent the next few days gathering decorations, preparing food, and finding costumes. It was chaos.

“Pumpkins! She said pumpkins!”

“Well, isn’t squash fine?”

“Would you like to ask Y/N if it’s fine for her? Do you think “fine” is good enough for her?”

“Kili! This one, or this one?”

“That one.”

“I’ll go look for more pumpkins.”

“Do we need more food?”

“I think we’ll be fine.”

On October 30th, Kili went to get Y/N from her room before dinner.

“Do I need an escort to the kitchens or something?” Y/N said.

“No, just thought I’d walk with you. Oh, also, Uncle said he wants you to have dinner with him in the throne room tonight.”

“Really? Why? Is something wrong?”

“No. He just wanted to see you. Is there something wrong with that?”

“Uh, no. But I just saw him this morning.”

“Well, he wants to see you again. Put on a nice dress, he’s waiting for you.”

Y/N was extremely confused, but she didn’t say anything to that. Once she was done dressing, he led her through the halls. He was nervous. He hoped they got everything right, or as close to what Y/N experienced as possible. He nodded to the two guards on the way in, and they opened up the doors. Y/N gasped. 

Lights were scattered around the throne room. Pumpkins and squash and corn decorated every surface. Small monstrous masks were hung up on the walls, and the people—

Thorin and the company were all dressed up in costumes. Other dwarves were there too, dressed in grand gowns and elaborate masks. Despite the masks, Y/N recognized a few of them. They were some of the dwarves who were living in the mountain and helping with repairs. She looked to Kili, who was standing behind her. 

“What-what’s all this?” she asked. 

“A costume party, I hope,” Kili said. 

He smiled up at her, nervous and hopeful. Y/N stared at him in wonder. 

“Did you do all this?” Y/N asked. 

“Ah, well, everyone pitched in,” Kili said. 

“It was all his idea, though,” Fíli said. “We only helped.”

Y/N laughed and exclaimed, “Look at you! What’s your costume?”

“What have you been calling me since the day we met?” Fíli laughed. 

Y/N smiled. “My lion man. And Thorin! Are you…?”

“A king,” Thorin said. 

Y/N nodded. Thorin directed the musicians to start playing. Y/N went around, laughing and talking with all the rest of the dwarves about their costumes. Some were done haphazardly, some were quite abstract, and some were funny. Bombur’s costume was… a bread roll. Once she had greeted everyone, Y/N went back to stand beside Kili. He smiled and took her hand, leading her onto the dance floor. They swayed in place.

“Thank you,” Y/N murmured. 

“Are you still sad?” Kili asked. 

“No. I was never sad,” Y/N said. “I was only a little homesick. You didn’t have to do all this just for me.”

“We can’t bear to see you unhappy. We don’t know if you’ll ever get home, so I just wanted to show you that you can still be happy while you’re here. We can be your home.”

“And you thought a costume party was the way to cheer me up?” Y/N giggled.

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Kili said. “I hope we made the kind of costumes you were thinking of.”

“They all look great! I’ve never been to a better costume party. Thank you, Kili, really.”

She bent down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He was so surprised, he didn’t say anything when she left to talk to Bilbo and Ori. He smiled. If she was happy, he was happy.

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Okay, here are my initial thoughts on Princess Adventure. These are in no way organized; they’re just as I can remember them. Feel free to send asks if you want

- Barbie defending Chelsea’s creativity and imagination is great to see. It’s one of the best parts of Dreamhouse Adventures so it’s nice to see them continue that in this film

- I like “Try It On” a lot more now. It’s not my favorite, and I think it’s one of the weaker songs in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack, but it’s honestly kind of a bop.

- “It’s like they don’t even want me in this movie!” LOL even Tammy herself knows she’s been done an absolute injustice.

- Holy crap Amelia’s plan is so freaking funny to me. She could’ve just, like...invited Barbie over to her kingdom since she’s the princess and was already a fan of Barbie’s vlogs anyway. But nah, she’s gotta have this whole convoluted “cultural exchange” bullshit I just can’t

- Speaking of Amelia, it’s a little disappointing that we don’t spend nearly as much time with her as we do with Barbie, and, thus, we don’t get to see who the supposed “real” her really is. She says she finally got to explore things about herself, like her fears and dreams, but she never goes into details. Ironically, the audience never gets to see who the true Amelia is, we just have to go off what she said about “who [she] is does matter”. I mean, we certainly get glimpses of it (again, the convoluted plan - she’s obviously ‘act first think later’), but overall it’s not nearly enough, at least to me

- “(Not A) Picture Perfect Girl” might just be my favorite song from this movie. It honestly made me tear up a bit. We’ll see if that changes over my next rewatches

- The running gag with Trey mixing up Barbie and Amelia while Ted and Ned knew was a lot funnier than I expected it to be

- Trey is now trans and you can’t change my mind.

- I really appreciate “Somewhere New” a lot more now since seeing it in the movie. I love that the choreography starts on the plane. It was a cool choice that really felt like a “musical” thing to do. I also like that everyone got to sing at leaset a line or two on their own. 

- WTF happened between Floravia and Johanistan? Did they have a war or something? Why are they being united into just a bigger Floravia? It sounds pretty fishy. I can understand why Johan is so upset based on what little information is given to us, so I wish they had gone into it a bit more.

- Johan asked “Amelia” (Barbie in disguise) if she remembered what they said they would do as rulers when they were kids. That never comes back and it really bothered me. What was the promise? That they’d rule together? That they’d treat each other’s kingdom equally? I actually thought at the coronation that Amelia would give the answer to that question (something like “Johan, remember what we told each other...”) and then do something like absolve the treaty so that she and Johan would rule their own respective kingdoms. l

- IDK, I think I would’ve just liked it more if Johan had been like Amelia’s brother/cousin/whatever that wanted to become King. He’d be a more boring villain that way but it would be less complicated than this.

- WE GOT REPRISES OF 2 SONGS BUT THEY AREN’T ON THE SOUNDTRACK?! I will NOT stand for that. As soon as the movie comes out on DVD I’m ripping those tracks out and adding them to my playlist

- I really thought Ken and Barbie were finally going to get together. I shall now accept my clown shoes and wig. I’m already applying the makeup now.

- The sequence for “Life in Color” disappointed me a bit. It’s one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack, but the placement in the movie felt like it came out of nowhere. I was really hoping for a nice, tender moment between Barbie and Amelia. Even if they were kept separated, it could’ve started with them video-chatting again. Maybe they’d talk about their personal struggles and then Barbie would stop the recording (”We don’t have to film this...”) and they’d just have a moment between themselves to talk.

- On the other hand, “King of the Kingdom” was such a good scene. It was very entertaining and I laughed a lot (which I had to hold back a lot since I was still at work). Also, those boys can move!!

- To make up for all of the interruptions and missed opportunities, Ken Carson deserves at least 3 episodes centered on him and his life and 1 where he finally tells Barbie how he feels

- TAFFY HAD NO REASON TO BE IN THIS MOVIE. I don’t care that Barbie almost always needs an animal sidekick. Snowy (Amelia’s bunny) fills that role. Taffy just gave everyone a freaking heart attack. Also, how the heck did she survive the plane ride? California to Floravia is a 10-hour flight so how did she stay unnoticed for so long?? ROBERTS FAMILY, GET SOME DAMN LEASHES!

- Speaking of that scene, I hate it. It ate up valuable time that could’ve been later spent developing the plot or Amelia’s character. It was only like 2 minutes but in a movie that is already pretty short (1hr11min) every second counts

- Can DA please finally drop the whole “Hey look Renee is claustrophobic” already? It’s repetitive as all hell and honestly it rubs me the wrong way how often it’s played for laughs. It works in the DA Halloween episode since it’s all about everyone facing their fears but everywhere else it feels like a cheap & undeserved laugh (it only happens twice in the movie I think but I wanted to mention it anyway)

- Morningstar being a little bitch to Barbie was hilarious. I don’t really like animal toys anymore but I’d totally buy her. (She’s part of a doll-horse set called Prance & Shimmer Horse. The Barbie doll has Amelia’s princess dress).

- “This is My Moment” really warmed my heart. The last shot with Amelia and Barbie smiling at each other reminded me a lot of Princess & the Popstar actually. I also really like how they brought back stuff from “Try It On” for Barbie’s verse. Musical finale numbers that bring back earlier motifs is something I just cannot get enough of. 

- I liked Alfonso. Like Amelia said, he means well; he just didn’t put as much thought into what Ameila herself wants as he could have. But hey, he was learning just as much as they were

- I LOVED all of the stuff with Barbie trying to make it big and that bitch Rose Ross being all “This is what you have to do to make it sweetie :)” like that’s a great thing to show to kids. You can want to be famous and expand your content like Barbie wanted to, but you have to be smart about it, and you have to stay true to yourself. That plotline also mixed pretty well with Amelia’s life being formulated for the public too. I really did like all of that stuff about how media, social media especially, is constantly fabricated and edited to make things seem easier/better than they might be in real life. 

- THEY FINALLY WENT BACK TO INDIVIDUAL END MORALS THANK GOD. I got really tired of seeing “This is our story, what’s yours?” after every Barbie movie, especially when every movie that used it wasn’t going for that message. Hell, that’s not even a lesson or anything, that’s just a random end quote.

- “Life doesn’t happen on camera. Life is what happens when the cameras are off” THAT IS SO GOOD AND RELEVANT I CAN’T EVEN!!!

[purplesurveys]

1006

(found at xxbieberburnham)

“The rest of your life”

Are you independent or dependent? Dependent as all hell. I’ll put my foot down on very certain things, but most of the time I prefer hearing input or suggestions from people I trust. I definitely think it’s something I still have to work on because I know I’ll have to be mostly independent at some point.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for.

How many animals do you have? I have two, but I call them pets.

Are you popular? Idk and I don’t care. All I know is I don’t actively seek to be so.

What time were you born? 9:11 in the evening.

Have you had any candy this week? Yeah, I had a gummy worm this morning. Mom bought a box of Halloween-themed sweets and there were cupcakes had gummy worms on them alongside marshmallows designed to look like a tombstone.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Hurricanes are terrifying, but I’m used to them. We don’t get tornadoes at all so I’ll not only be unprepared for those, but would definitely be more afraid of them too.

Do you like those nerd glasses? Sure, I still think they’re cute and look good on people but I never called them nerd glasses lol. Mine are kinda shaped like one.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nah, I’d be wiped out pretty fast.

What color is your house? A light shade of beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? More than a year ago, I’m sure. It was during our ride back home from a journalism workshop, which if I remember correctly was all the way in Cavite. Goddamn we traveled a lot for those workshops.

Have you ever ate a crayon? I’ve never bitten off a piece but I’m not ruling out at least licking.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Nope. Would love to.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? For the most part I don’t even think they taste like anything, so I never really had a problem with mushrooms.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play”

What was the last movie you cried at? That Thing Called Tadhana. I had watched it five years ago after my first breakup; I got to go to Sagada shortly after that breakup, so that movie was actually very therapeutic for me at the time because it allowed me to release my feelings the way Mace did, also in Sagada. Now I’m stuck at home and can’t travel and that movie just hurt too much to finish.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? I don’t really...pair ice cream flavors with types of personalities.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? Large, because I feel like I’d be challenged more in those and thus learn more. Also it just looks nicer on resumés, if I’m being honest. Smaller companies are ok too but I prefer those that already have a rep for churning excellent results and having a good track record for workplace culture, like the company I’m currently working with.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Ukays. I used to not like them, but my mom and sister did a great job reeling me in and making me see the appeal.

How many languages do you speak? Two.

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Me Before You was such a waste of my time. Predictable, cheesy, and typical asshole-guy-softens-up-over-time-oh-and-just-as-you-start-to-root-for-him-we’re-gonna-kill-him-off. But idk, I was with friends who were into movies like those and I wanted to support them, so I went along to watch.

What video game have you played the most? Cumulatively, pretty sure it’s Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? I was a Nickelodeon girl and Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, and My Life as a Teenage Robot were my top 3, with Jimmy Neutron closely trailing at #4. I loved Disney shows too but wasn’t really able to appreciate them as much until I got a little older and could understand their humor better.

What's your favorite sport? My answer won’t change - if it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, my next favorite is table tennis.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? Nothing creative is coming to me at the moment.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Yes. Maybe not the ones in our solar system, but those out in the distant universe for sure.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Can’t say I’ve truly disliked a particular place we’ve been to. I will say that Chinese people have a...culture that I’m not used to, and I did not enjoy touring with a bunch of them during my cruise. They had buffet habits that I would consider unhygienic, they would sit at the same table my mom and I were eating at if there were available seats(??????? imagine if I just sat beside you at a diner while you’re having lunch?), and apparently it’s acceptable for them to actually look you in the eyes and point directly at you if they’re talking about you with other people. It was honestly a lot to put up with for six days, and the only reason I didn’t lose my temper was because my dad works in the ship and I didn’t want to cause him any trouble.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Making art.

Do you believe in angels? No. I like referring to my grandpa as my guardian angel, but I don’t actually believe in angels.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? I know I’m awful at either, but I’d much rather act.

“where have you been all my life?”

If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? It’d be cool to come up with something that ends up being widely popular and/or beneficial to society, but do it accidentally; like how popsicles came to be. Imagine building a legacy from your own oopsie lmao sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t do workouts.

What's your favorite thing to do? Wow, very straightforward. Hmm these days I’m slowly inching back to wrestling, so I’ve been watching compilations and documentaries and doing some catching-up here and there. Lately I’d say that’s my favorite thing to do, but that can always change.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Gab and I went to Pinto and she brought me to Filio after. Then I got back home to see what Athenna had done to my room while I was out, which was to cover the floor with balloons and the walls with printed photos of Zayn Malik.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? First, we’ll need to have local Wal-Mart stores here.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never liked stuffed animals, so I didn’t even have a teddy bear.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not fuck with the ghosts/spirits.

Are you crazy in love currently? Not crazily, but in love.

Are you good at swimming? I can tread and do several strokes, but I also tend to panic so I think that eliminates the concept of me being a good swimmer.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet. I can get around slow walkers; but unless I have mobile data, slow internet is out of my control for the most part.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I can’t pick between whistling at me, catcalling me, lunging at me, or flirtatiously harass me in front of his friends while I was minding my goddamn business carrying a goddamn box of cake at the mall. Yeah, not a very big fan of men.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? Put on a YouTube video and let autoplay take over.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Yeah I used to, until I lost it.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? The fear of the possibility is there, but it’s not predominantly in our family history and so I’m more afraid of other issues I have a higher chance of getting, like high blood pressure.

“Letters to Juliet”

Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast if I’m running errands, slow-ish if I’m out for leisure.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda. Even more when their crack decides to show up too.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No, I am one of the last people in line when it comes to that.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nopes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? Turquoise.

Has anyone ever walked you home? I’ve had someone drive me home. Walking isn’t really applicable here.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? That’s never happened to me.

When was the last time you went fishing? In my past life, maybe.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? False.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yes.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I’ve seen an episode and oh my god it was so boring.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? I used to until my mom took it down while I was in school. I made it myself, so it stung.

Are you a fan of Star Wars? No.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway”

Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Whenever it was actually nice, yeah. It was never my best feature though.

What brand of camera do you own? I have...an iPhone, if it counts, ha. My old DSLR was a Nikon.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? The next day. Having to go through rounds of anxiety is not enjoyable.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Have not read the book nor seen the show, but have read enough of the premise to know I am not a fan.

Do you wear white pants? Sure, I have a pair of white jeans that I absolutely love.

When was the last time you were really angry? Yesterday. My sister and I were ordering KFC from a food delivery app and no driver was taking it because drivers in that company are notoriously picky bitches about their destinations. They kept canceling our orders and at some point I had enough and proposed that we just get Pizza Hut, this time straight from the Pizza Hut website, which has always worked out for us before. So Pizza Hut confirms the order, calls me up and says the ETA, so far so good. Around 15 minutes later the doorbell rings and it’s...KFC? With our original orders? Apparently that stupid ass app took our order anyway after repeatedly canceling it, and I never got one fucking notification that our order was received. Tried to cancel Pizza Hut but they said they had already started making the pizzas, so in the end we had to pay for both meals. I had never been so angry.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? Hah, of course not. I’ve barely made one of those free throws that are worth one point.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? I’ve gotten more compliments whenever it’s up, so that must look better on me even if I personally don’t necessarily agree.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t exercise, but isn’t warming up recommended anyway?

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not really; I suppose they’re alright. It’s not my favorite brand in the world, but I wouldn’t turn down a free pair either.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Hoooooooooops for days.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Just one. I’m not a band shirt person.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? There’s no TV in this room.

Have you ever wore a tie before? Yeah, as a kid my mom sometimes made me wear neckties. They made me SO uncomfortable I was having internal breakdowns about being seen in public. I was 7 years old. Neckties to me were a boy thing and I felt 0% boy; and so it gave me such serious dysphoria. It’s like making a boy wear a pink tutu even if he’s already visibly distressed. Whenever I told my mom I felt uncomfortable, she would just tell me it “looks good.” Jesus Christ. Why did no one ever drag my mom to a parenting seminar? Did no one seriously see the signs???

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Garlic rice, bacon strips, and glazed ham.

“For the Krusty Krab”

Are you good at art? Of course not.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t have one.

Name one thing that you really hate. Raisins, on their own and incorporated in a dish.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? I haven’t.

Is there a war that you find interesting? Eh, not really. So many of historical accounts are bombarded with war narratives as it is, and I’ve just never really found disputes or tensions among countries to be the most interesting part about history. Plus women were mostly absent, and that makes it even more boring.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? Not always. $7 or ₱350 is actually pretty reasonable if you wanna see a movie at an upscale mall; people who watch movies in places like that shouldn’t be complaining about movie tickets that cost that much. But all movie theaters are the same anyway - pitch black, freezing, comfy chairs - so I just go to midscale malls where tickets would be like a hundred bucks cheaper since it’s gonna give me the same experience anyway.

Would you like to be a newscast person? For a long time I thought I wanted to be one because that’s what my entire family was rooting me to become. Eventually I realized reading from a teleprompter, interviewing guests, and asking questions to reporters is not a career I want.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? Word searches, then coloring, then crosswords.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. U.

How many William’s do you know? I don’t think I know anyone. It’s too foreign-sounding a name.

What time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at around 6 AM, but I fell back asleep immediately and woke up again around 30 minutes later.

Do you enjoy crutches? ...No? That seems a little insensitive for people who actually need them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? Arizona. It’s because I’ve never had the Snapple one, but tbh Arizona is already pretty delicious anyway.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Round.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before”

When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yes. I was never a creative kid, but I liked playing with them anyway.

Do you like Trix cereal? It was only my absolute favorite cereal as a kid, no biggie.

Do you get nervous easily? Ugh, yes. My parents asked me to get water containers from our local water station last Saturday and I literally had to allot like two hours to brace myself and make a script in my head. I constantly rehearse shit nearly every time I have to go out of the house.

How long is your Facebook password? I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? No, I didn’t find it funny the first time and that made me uninterested in giving it a second chance.

How do you want your wedding to be? Big, grand. Lots of friends, lots of food. Not Catholic/Christian.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Nope.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? Not usually. Being early is my goal in most situations, unless I’m headed to like a party.

Have you ever been on Omegle? A few times as a teenager.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Yes. It’s not going away for a while.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? I don’t necessarily seek out men with beanies lol but I don’t think it looks bad on them either.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Unfamiliar situations.

Do you like the shows on MTV? No.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? That last Friday I was in school before the lockdown happened. If I knew what the next eight months were going to look like, I would’ve stayed much longer in school, dragged my friends out to drink, blew my money on food, had more fun basically.

What's one word you hate to be called? Exhausting. Like being told I’m exhausting to be with. How does that not hurt?

[randomoranges]

Home is Where the Heart Is

hey hi hello do you like soft canon with hurt?

  the saga continues of étienne’s adventures in edmonton. had this idea since this summer. lol.

end october/beginning november 2020

Edward scans the crowd and tries to keep his nerves under control. He makes sure he isn’t too close to others, while still maintaining contact with the arrivals doors. Étienne should be arriving any moment now. In fact, his plane has landed, therefore, with every new batch of people who walk through the doors; Étienne could be one of them.

 He checks his phone for what is surely the fiftieth time in the past three minutes, but he finds no new messages other than the one from his boyfriend letting him know that “the bird has landed.” Edward fixes his mask and follows a person who walks out, thinking it might be Étienne, but it’s not.

 The reason he’s here started towards the beginning of the month of September. He’d been enjoying his video call with Étienne, something they did once every two days or so after he’d gone back home, when Étienne had grown quiet.

 “Were you serious?” He’d asked and Edward had wondered what exactly Étienne was alluding to, “When you said I could come over whenever – were you serious?” He’d reiterated.

 “Of course. Whenever you want. Hell, you could even be on the way to the airport at the moment. You could even already be in Edmonton.” He’d wondered if Étienne was concocting some trip and had dared to hope that he’d be seeing his boyfriend sooner rather than later.

 He’d meant it. Étienne could surprise him on his doorstep with little to no warning and he’d be happy to have him over.

 Summer had been – kind to Étienne, but not in its usual ways. It was a good thing it had been a hot summer, at least Étienne had been able to enjoy the outdoors, but – Edward had seen the toll of the pandemic on his boyfriend’s face. Had seen the dark circles that had made a comeback and had listened to the change in Étienne’s song from determined and hopeful to pessimistic and downtrodden.

 And of course, now things seemed to be getting worse again.

 Étienne was at wits ends.

 Étienne is at wits ends.

 “I don’t know what to do anymore, Ed,” He’d said. “Every time I go out – there’s a new place that’s closed down. How are the others going to make it? What’s going to be left of the city once this is all over? What’s going to be left of me? It’s like no one cares! Everything we did for naught! And then there’s those who say it’s a joke or a hoax. Yet I can’t even have my fucking sister over anymore – again. I can’t. I go grocery shopping and I fucking panic thinking maybe I’m going to infect someone, because what if it’s on me and I just don’t know because I can’t even fucking die properly.”

 He looked manic. Wild and scared and desperate.

 Edward had been – worried.

 Edward always worried. He always worries. He still worries. He worried by nature, but – he worried for Étienne in a different way.

 He knows of Étienne’s troubles – knows how his mood dips and changes and peeks and crests and falls straight through and he knows how personally he takes every single problem that afflicts the city, as though he’s responsible for the decision of millions.

 Edward had feared this – had feared that Étienne would spiral back out to how he’d been in April, but now he thinks he’d prefer the manic busy version of Étienne to this more lethargic and angry one.

 Edward had tried to be reassuring. Said that he’d be fine – he’d managed. It would be tough, yes, but – Étienne was like a phoenix, somehow found ways to rise again from the ashes. He’d reinvent himself if he needed to, but – Étienne hadn’t been so sure, still felt as though he hadn’t fully recovered from the original reinvention.

 Edward had fallen quiet to that.

 “D’you think I can come over again? For a bit. Maybe through to the New Year – I don’t know. I just – the weather’s gonna change for the worst again and – I don’t – I know how I am – in the winter – on a good year. I don’t think – I don’t trust myself going through winter alone during a pandemic.” He’d looked away from the screen after that admission. Had chewed on his bottom lip and had fisted his hands into Mercury’s fur.

 Edward’s heart had broken hearing those words. He’d wished he could find a way to enter Étienne’s head and right it once and for all. Fix whatever it was that made him feel this way day in and day out. No one deserved this, least of all Étienne.

 He consoled himself with the fact that Étienne was reaching out – that he was asking for help – that he wasn’t shutting himself further into his dark mood and dealing with it “on his own.” He’d seen how that ended up far too many times to want to live through it again.

 “Of course – like I said, you can come here whenever you want. I want you here.” Edward felt it was best to repeat these words as often as he could, in the hopes that Étienne would stop second-guessing himself over them.

 “I have work though. I have online classes, grading, and assignments to look over.” He’d said as though he was giving Edward reasons to tell him not to come and stay home in his infected hell hole.

 “That’s okay. I have work as well. We’ll make a schedule and work around it. I’ll clear out a desk for you that you can use. You can have the guestroom as your own study.”

 It was the logical thing to say. Whatever it was Étienne needed. It wasn’t complicated.

 “Are you sure?” Étienne had finally asked.

 “Of course, sweetheart. I’m always sure when it comes to you.”

 It was a little sappy, but – it was all very true.

 Étienne nodded at that, as if he couldn’t find the words to go with the action.

 “You realise though that it’ll be cold. It gets cold here earlier than it does at yours. And I mean negative weather and snow before Halloween.”

 Étienne had grimaced at that and Edward had laughed. The last thing he wanted was for Étienne to arrive in a windbreaker and then have an even worst time with the weather.

 “I don’t care. Summer’s over. It’s already getting cold. I just – I need to – I need to be around people – someone. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t.”

 Edward had read the panic in those green-brown eyes, had read the fear and the loneliness that threatened to swallow him whole and – Edward had needed a moment to still his own nerves. He hadn’t seen that look on Étienne’s face in far too long and it was one he’d hoped he’d never see again.

 “That’s fine. When will you be arriving?”

 “I don’t know – I’m still figuring out when I’ll leave. There’s still a few things I need to do here.”

 “Keep me posted?” Part of him feared Étienne would do something stupid between now and then, but he consoled and reminded himself that despite everything, Étienne was in a better place now and was being treated for this. This wasn’t like before.

 “Yeah. I’ll talk to you soon.”

 That had been that and now here he is, summer officially done and over, waiting for Étienne to arrive. They’d spoken late last night and Edward hadn’t liked the way his boyfriend had sounded. Out of it, was one way of describing it, but – it almost felt as though – as if Étienne was giving up. As if he’d lost his last shred of hope.

 He can’t let that happen.

 Étienne is too important for that.

 Therefore, Edward takes a deep breath, counts to ten and then twenty and finally fifty and focuses on the task at hand.  With Calvin now back in Calgary as well, he figures this will give him a proper chance to do some real damage control on Étienne.

 Despite everything, he still smiles and feels extremely excited when he finally spots both Étienne and Mercury making their way towards him. He sees Étienne pause and give a careful look around, but even with the masks, he can still tell that Étienne smiles when he sees him as well.

 Étienne picks up his pace and walks over to him and Edward meets him half way, opening his arms up so that Étienne can step into them.

 “Hi you,” He says and holds Étienne close to him. Étienne looks a little worse for wear, but if anything, his visit in April had prepared Edward for this and so the shock isn’t as big, even if the pang in his heart is just the same. He feels Mercury excitedly jump up on his leg and he marvels at how big she’s gotten since she’d last been here. He’ll greet her properly in a bit, but for now he holds onto Étienne and presses a masked kiss to the side of his face.

 “Eddy,” Étienne breathes into the crook of his neck and it feels as though Étienne’s just discharged some of the weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders since he’d gone back home. As if now that he’s here, he can let go a bit and give the reigns over to Edward to help him look after himself.

 It takes Edward a moment to realise that Étienne is shaking in his arms and he holds him closer still and rubs his back. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He holds him for a moment longer, holds him until Étienne stops shaking and gets a hold of himself, holds him until Étienne straightens himself out and steps out of the embrace.

 “Missed you,” Étienne says as he picks the handle of his suitcase. Edward takes the moment to greet Mercury and she seems quite happy to see him as well. She still has growing to do, but she’s no longer the tiny puppy that had made the first trip out west at the start of spring.

 “Missed you more. Ready to go home?”

 Étienne nods and Edward laces their hands together as they make their way towards the truck.

 It’s a mostly silent walk and Étienne makes one comment about the weather, which makes Edward laugh. Étienne already looks like he’s dressed for winter and by the looks of the two suitcases he brought along, his entire winter wardrobe seems to be here with him as well.

 Edward takes the long walk to the truck, if only to give Mercury a chance to stretch her legs. They take off their masks after realising that they’d both kept them on out of habit and once they’re at the truck, Edward pulls Étienne for a much sought after kiss.

 “Missed you,” Edward reiterates as he caresses the sides of Étienne’s face. His boyfriend offers him a kind, if tired smile and Edward still thinks he’s one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met.

 “Missed you more,” Étienne parrots back, before he hugs him again. “Thanks again for – everything.”

 Edward gives his hand a squeeze and then opens the door for him.

  There’s hand-sanitizer in the truck they both use and Edward tries to keep the conversation going as he drives back home, but Étienne ends up falling asleep once more halfway through. He lets him, knowing Étienne never seems to get around the right amount of sleep and he lets Élyse know he’ll take good care of Étienne once they’re home.

 Mercury trots off to re-explore his house and so Edward helps Étienne with his luggage, helps him to the door and helps undress him afterwards, unpeeling each layer as they make their way towards Edward’s bedroom and they reacquaint themselves with one another with kisses and touches that make Étienne feel just a little bit more alive. It’s heady and messy and needy, but the end result is the same and Edward holds Étienne close as he cards his fingers through his hair with one hand, and traces lazy patterns on his arm with the other.

 Étienne seems a little more peaceful as he snuggles close and presses the occasional kiss to Edward’s chest. It’s as if – he feels safe here, in Edward’s arms and Edward hopes and wishes that he can always provide this solace for him.

 “Your hair’s gotten long,” He remarks as he holds up a perfect curl. He twines it around his finger before releasing it and watches with wonder as it springs back to its original form. Étienne’s hair had already been getting long during his last visit, but now that he could see his hair in person, Edward could really tell. It keeps flirting with Étienne’s shoulder and Edward thinks it’s a good look on him.

 “Yeah... never got around to booking a haircut when they reopened and then I kinda – I kinda like it actually. Thought I’d let it grow some and see what it looks like....” He’s careful with his answer, Edward can tell from the way he looks at him and then away. Étienne tucks a strand behind his ear out of reflex and Edward smiles softly.

 “It looks good. It suits you.”

 It really does. In all the years Edward has known him, he’s never seen Étienne with super long hair. Étienne had even been – sensitive about it and after Edward had found out why, he understood. This is a nice change, despite the reason behind it, and Edward hopes it means that if anything, Étienne is slowly making peace with that.

 “Yeah, you think so?”

 Edward nods. “Yeah, I really like it.”

 Étienne grins, a little quiet thing as he resettles against him, “I haven’t had it super long in – over forty years. Forgot how good it looked,” He says, normal like anything and Edward silently thrills.

 “It looks very good. I’m all for you experimenting with it and letting it grow.”

 Étienne offers him a smile for his compliment and Edward stores it for the days where it’ll be hard to get a smile out of his boyfriend. He’d like to think there won’t be any, but with the way things are going and with winter coming up, he knows better.

 “Hey, I have a surprise for you,” He says instead before they can get too comfortable. Étienne gives him a curious look and protests when Edward jostles him so that he can get out of bed and put his boxers back on. “Come on, you’ll like this.”

 “Preferred the view I had moments before.” Étienne says as he slowly makes a grab for his own clothes and underwear. Edward rolls his eyes, fond, amused, and ever so endeared, and then walks his boyfriend to the guestroom.

 “Jeez, Édouard, if you were already done with me, you could’ve just said and I woulda made my own exile back to the guestroom.” Étienne teases as Edward pushes the door to the guestroom until it’s fully open.

 “Humour me, Curly,” Edward says and leads him further into the room. “I set everything up for you; desk, chair, light. I cleared it off so you can put your laptop on it. I moved the printer here, in case you have things to print – and, this,” He moves to the side and that’s when Étienne notices the very large and suddenly very noticeable wooden easel that had not been previously there this past spring, “Is a little something I thought you would appreciate.”

 Étienne blinks and blinks again. There’s an easel – a beautiful wooden thing that he’d never ever seen before just standing there as if waiting to be used. He walks up to it, as if in a trance and dares to touch it to make sure it’s real.

 “I know you like to make your own canvases and stretchers, so if you need any materials or whatever, I’ll drive you to the store.”

 Étienne turns back to Edward, walks back to him and lunges into his awaiting arms, as if his boyfriend had been expecting such a reaction.

 “You didn’t have to,” Étienne says as he fights back the tears that threaten to fall. It’s all too much. He doesn’t deserve all of this – doesn’t deserve Edward’s kindness and yet Edward still offers it to him as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

 “I wanted to.” Edward tells him and figures he can let him know he’d made it himself later, before Étienne has an apoplexy over it. “I want you to feel comfortable here. You’re not just a passing houseguest – you’re my boyfriend. This is the very least I can do for you.”

 Étienne pulls him in for a kiss before Edward can say anything else that might make his heart jump out of his ribcage. “I love you,” He blurts out when they pull away for air. It’s the least he can do and say and he knows Edward likes hearing it. (He does too, really, but right now if Edward tells him he might just cry over everything.) (He’s still getting used to this – to having someone show him love and kindness so openly.) (There are still days when he wonders if this isn’t all some massive fever drug induced dream.) (He’s honestly glad it isn’t.)

 “My dearest Étienne, I love you too, never doubt it,” Edward tells him, cups his face in his nice warm hands, and offers him the kindest of smiles. Looks at him as though he’s something precious and worthwhile and there’s something inside of Étienne – some old shriveled thing that lives where his heart once was that dares to beat again.

 And Edward holds Étienne close, holds him again and then gently leads him back towards his bedroom so that they can lie together. He lets Étienne slowly come apart in his arms, rubs his back and twines their legs together and makes the silent promise that he’ll watch over Étienne and do his best so that Étienne doesn’t fall off the deep end again. He hopes and dares that despite everything, that winter will be kind to the both of them, but Edward knows that if anything, at least, they’ll be together.

 FIN

[flippyspoon]

NOTE: Yet another Halloween ficlet lol. FLUFF WARNING.

Billy heaved a sigh and tossed a half eaten fun size Three Musketeers onto his cluttered coffee table. It was Halloween night and he was alone, which wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Steve would eventually be home later when he was done hanging out with the kiddies or whatever he was doing. 

The Twilight Zone was on TV, but he was only paying it half attention. 

The jack o’lantern Steve had carved glowed from its spot on a cheap tray table by the window of Hop’s trailer (now Billy and Steve’s trailer). 

He wished Steve had stayed home with him. He would have if Billy had asked him. He had all but begged Billy to go along and Billy had felt stubborn and grumpy and moped his way into a lonely evening.

His ears perked up at the sound of people outside and he heard the sound of Max’s voice.

He got to his feet and heard the crowd of teenagers stomping up to his door just before there was a knock and several voices in unison shouting, “Trick or treat!”

Billy threw open the door. All the kids were there in costumes ranging from Mike Wheeler’s rubber goblin mask to Dustin Henderson’s ornate Doc Brown outfit and wig. Steve stood behind them all. He had not worn a costume. He was wearing instead Billy’s Metallica shirt and Billy’s leather jacket and his hair was long and blown by a chilly breeze.

Billy’s heart sped up just looking at Steve even after living with him for a few months.

“Didn’t think I was gonna get trick or treaters,” Billy said wryly. 

“We thought we’d come bother you,” Max said brightly. “Since you won’t come out.”

Everyone was staring at him, holding their pillow cases open and waiting for treats. “Jesus,” Billy mumbled. “Fine. Christ. Lemme see if I have candy.” 

He turned around, intending to pretend he had not just been scarfing down chocolate even as he heard them all following him inside and Steve saying, “He totally has candy. I bought it.”

Thanks a lot, Harrington, he thought, and shot Steve an exasperated grimace which Steve answered with a wink. 

The kids looted his bag of candy and Billy went out to meet Steve on the wooden front stoop that made for a porch. 

“They’re going to the Wheelers’ from here,” Steve said, nodding towards the kids. He bit his lip and tugged softly on Billy’s hand. “Come walk with me. Not for long. We’ll come back soon. It’s so nice out.”

Billy couldn’t even pretend to resist. The kids thanked him for the candy and Max gently butted her head against his back before she made her way out alongside Lucas, which was as good as a hug from Max. Steve took his hand and having become used to Hawkins, he didn’t lock is door as they made their way out.

The kind of thing that could be stopped by a locked door, he wasn’t much afraid of.

“You’re grumpy,” Steve said, squeezing Billy’s hand as they walked through the overgrown grass and back to the road. “Grumpy Gus. Is it because I didn’t stay here with you?”

“I don’t care what you do,” Billy mumbled.

“Ooh…” Steve was laughing at him and Billy hated realizing that he didn’t even care. Steve stopped him on the side of the road, the moon massive and a little orangey looking this Halloween night as it glowed above their heads. Steve smiled at him, mischievous. A lock of his hair fell over one eye and Billy sighed. “You didn’t say anything,” Steve said. “I didn’t think you cared. I would’ve stayed in with you. Missed you anyway. That’s why I came back. It’s Halloween and all...”

Billy’s heart did a little dance in his chest and he shrugged, but he had to work to stifle the smile that wanted to break out. Steve leaned in and kissed him, nudging Billy’s mouth open to taste his tongue, his hands sliding up Billy’s arms to rest on his shoulders.

“Guess I forgive you,” Billy murmured against Steve’s mouth.

“MEW! MEW! MEW! MEW! MEW! MEEEEEEEW!”

The meows were a little tinny and they came from the woods. A tiny plaintive wail that made Steve and Billy break apart, turning their heads to it. 

“Huh,” Steve said, and walked toward the woods. 

Billy knew what could hide in the woods. His own monster had come from the Steelworks but he’d heard about Steve fighting demodogs and other nasties and his heart thumped uncomfortably watching the love of his life walk into the darkness, especially on Halloween.

“Harrington…”

“There’s a kitten,” Steve muttered.

“Yeah, obviously.”

Steve didn’t make it far because the kitten in question, a teeny ball of fur that hardly looked old enough to be standing came charging out of the woods. Billy had not always liked many humans but he rather liked cats and now he imagined a car plowing the little thing on the road.

“Hey!” Billy said and stuck his booted foot out to block the black blur of fur from running to the street. The kitten didn’t lose a step and instead ran right up Billy’s leg, trembling as it climbed his chest. Billy yelped at the sensation of surprisingly sharp claws penetrating his sweatshirt and digging into his skin. “Hey hey! Jesus!”

The kitten stopped finally, clinging to Billy’s chest as it shook, it’s tiny head buried in the crook of his neck. 

“Oh shit!” Steve said, laughing. 

Billy sighed and covered the tiny furry body with his hands, holding it there. “MEW! MEW! MEW! MEW!”

“Don’t you have a mother?” Billy said. 

“Maybe we should look for it,” Steve said, whipped a small flashlight out of his jacket pocket. 

They spent the next hour or so trying to find the kitten’s family with no luck. It made Billy a little depressed, but the kitten didn’t seem to mind and stopped meowing finally when Billy tucked it under his sweatshirt, zipping it up over him so he felt more secure.

“I give up,” Steve said, shrugging. “He’s yours now.”

They were back on the road and Steve was heading back to the trailer.

And Billy had a kitten now.

“I can’t have a kitten!” Billy said, finally following Steve who stopped to grab his hand. 

The kitten seemed to disagree as it licked at his throat.

“Why not?” Steve said, grinning back at him. “Besides, he likes you.”

“Guh…” Billy sighed and absently reached up to gently pet the kitten’s head with his free hand. It looked up at him with bleary but trusting eyes. 

Shit.

“I guess,” Billy muttered.

“What’re you gonna name him?” Steve said, once they were letting themselves back inside. 

Billy hummed and plopped down on the couch. He unzipped his sweatshirt and the kitten didn’t move, still clinging to him as if Billy’s chest was the safest place he could possibly be. He stroked the kitten’s head with his thick, squarish finger and it began to purr.

Steve sat down and snuggled up to him, chuckling as he watched Billy bond with his new pet.

“Monster,” Billy said. “His name is Monster.”

“Perfect,” Steve said, and kissed his cheek.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #282

“daddy’s flown across the ocean / leaving just a memory / a snapshot in the family album / daddy, what’d you leave behind for me?”

What is your favorite type of dance? I like modern dances, especially those unusual or creepy with unique music. They’re the dances I look forward to watching in dance competitions. Do you find making scenes in public fun? Oh fuck no. Lemonade or pink lemonade? Pink is Supreme in so many ways. Where do you feel safest? At home, especially if Mom is here. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I’d love to. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? No. I don’t want to move to Africa. What do you like to do when you're home alone? HAHA okay so I almost exclusively watch Unus Annus when Mom isn’t home because I will almost without a doubt cackle at least once, and… explaining why I’d be laughing would be WILD. UA is a fucking gift & I’mma miss it when it’s gone. What kind of music calms you down? My best bet is nostalgic music that I hold very close, like Ozzy. The soundtracks to SotC and SH2 are also magical when it comes to soothing me. Who did you last go to a park with? Uhhhh… probably not since I took family pictures for someone. Got some nice ones. Have you ever been robbed? Thankfully, no. Are you working, a student, both, or neither? Neither, and at nearly 25, it’s fucking humiliating. I’m thinking of appealing my disability case (you very rarely get it the first time), but of course self-doubt and anxiety just slaps me across the face again and again by asking, “Do you really need it?” That shit is agonizing. Very highly regarded people in my life agree that it’s realistic for me, at least at this moment, while I sort out my mental health. I don’t plan on being on it forever, fuck no. But right now I am, no matter what anyone says, a leech in my home. What's your favorite holiday? Christmas. I prefer Halloween’s “vibe,” of course, but I am much more excited and just thankful at Christmastime, especially now as an aunt with children who *understand* the holiday. Their joy and excitement is enough of a gift to me. It’s always really hard on Mom because she’s convinced she doesn’t do enough (she cries at least once like… every year), but my sisters and I always reassure her. It’s also a nice opportunity to see Dad and my stepmom, also with my sister’s family, and once again we get to see the kids so happy. But enough about them; what I love most about Christmas is I generally am able to put my troubles into perspective and take the time to remember I am, in the big picture, lucky to have what and who I do. And SNOW!!!!! If you can’t tell I’m stoked for Christmas. Do you prefer male or female friends? Both are great, but I’m more relaxed with female friends because of the whole “scared of men” ordeal. What's your favorite dessert? Biiiiihhhhh lemme get my hands on ice cream. Do you ever go on chatroulette or omegle? Noooo, I never did. That shit creeps me out. Besides, I’m shy. What kind of tea do you drink? None. Do you know anyone in a gang? Not to my knowledge… What color is your fridge? White. We decided to use the fridge already in this house versus our old one. Is your phone mostly on vibrate, silent, or ringtone? It’s just about always on vibrate. Do you own black sunglasses? I don’t own any sunglasses. Are you currently looking for a job? Fuck if I know. Not actively, but if something suitable magically popped up, I’d definitely pursue it. Do you watch MTV? No. Do you like to tell people who you like? Historically, I tend to keep my mouth shut about it to people who know that love interest unless explicitly asked, and even then, it depends on if I think they’ll keep their mouth shut. How often do you braid your hair? It’s too short to be braided. I very rarely had it braided beforehand. What color is your microwave? Black. Do you wash your face in the morning when you wake up? If I remember, especially if I’m groggy. Are you interested in the ocean? No more or no less than the average person. What's a big turn on for you? Keeping physical stuff outta this, I’m just such a fuckin sucker for being authentically romantic lmao. Have you ever thought about being a teacher? Heeeeeelllllll no. What's the first thing you do when you turn your computer on? Close out of the stuff that automatically pops up after it starts. Do you drink Gatorade? Ugh, ew, no. Do you hate when people replace 0's with O's? EX: 9:OO AM. Lol no, it’s honestly aesthetically pleasing in some formats. Did you hate riding the bus? Some of my best school memories are the long bus rides home w/ Jason so uh- Do you ever use XOXO in texts, letters etc..? Nah. Has anyone ever told you they liked you to your face? Yeah. Have you ever touched an elephant? No. Reading or writing? Writing. Do you have a childhood nickname? Mom called (and sometimes still does lakjdf;alkwe) me “Twinkie.” She gave sweets-oriented nicknames to all her kids. Have you ever had a Moon Pie? UGH they’re gross. I have this faint memory as a kid of a sweetheart babysitter my sisters and I had always offering us banana moon pies as a snack or dessert, idr. I’ve always hated anything banana-flavored. Has your car ever had troubles? N/A What's your birthstone? Amethyst. Would you join the navy? I want nothing to do with anything remotely related to war. What's your favorite board game? Battleship. Do you like chess? I’ve never played it nor even know the rules. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I was absolutely parched after a long, sweaty walk and was offered it to “try” by my mom without me knowing it was alcohol… the “WAIT NO STOP” from everyone was so quick lmao. It was just hard lemonade, so nothing super serious. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectantly turned up pregnant right this second? I probably would. There is no fucking way I can emotionally handle carrying a baby right now. But I’d feel like absolute shit, even though I’m pro-choice. I just don’t want to picture myself in that situation. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Probably. Although generally, I’m very resilient to peer pressure when it comes to something I really don’t want to do. What is your favorite video game console? Why? PS2, of course. I think the best games came from that era, many ahead of their time. Example, the original Shadow of the Colossus graphics massively pressured the limits of the software, and it still to this day blows me away. Sure, you have some lag in return, but the end result was just magnificent. I seriously, seriously, seriously hope I’m able to play the remake one day. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? I was. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? How I need a change and purpose in life so motherfucking badly. Where’s the last place you went? I was riding around with Mom, doing some errands. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. When was the last time you went apple picking? Never. Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? We don’t really… have a relationship. We don’t talk, we just kinda “exist” knowing we’re related. What was the last kids movie you saw? I watched some of Hotel Transylvania 3 with my niece and nephew. Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? When I was still in college, there was at least one guy in my class who was. Tutored me in math. Patience of a saint, haha. Have you ever been to an internet cafe? I actually have zero clue what that is. Has the year gone quickly for you so far? I’ve barely discerned 2018-2020, if I’m being honest with you. It’s just a lump of time where I’ve done jack-all. I mean yeah, school fits in there somewhere, but mentally I wasn’t in a wonderful place and haven’t been “happy” for a long time. My mental state has been the same for a few years. How many siblings does your significant other have? N/A Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? Oh, I hiiiighly doubt it. I loathe the taste of alcohol. Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? I legitimately have one of the most basic white bitch middle names in America, I know tons. How many pairs of jeans do you own? None. Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? One, yes, considering Mom worked there before the cancer and is still in touch with this pharmacist. What flavor is your toothpaste? Mint. Are you sleepy right now? I think I’m permanently sleepy. Do you like crime films and tv shows? Not especially. Are you bitter about anything? Many things. What was the first online account you remember having? Neopets. My older sister helped me set it up when I was somewhere around eight. Do you use emojis? More than I used to. I’m gradually converting from emoticons to emojis, oof. What was the last type of soda you drank? Mountain Dew. Do you remember much from high school? I probably remember too much from high school, if I’m being honest. I remember far too much in far too much detail during the almost four years I dated Jason. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Probably the Bahamas, mostly for the pink beaches, aha. It would also be an incredible photography opportunity. Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? My former best friend’s dad was so southern that yes, I could barely understand him whatsoever. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? If you mean a fresh, new one and not a glow-up on the Mark tribute tat I’ve mentioned five thousand times, a tribute to Teddy featuring his portrait, pawprint, and the Powerwolf lyrics “and we’ll meet where the wild wolves have gone.” I’m going to be picky as a motherfucker about the design itself, though, so realistically it probably wouldn’t be tomorrow since I’d probably commission people to draw in varying styles. Ugh, I need that tattoo gun, my man. What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? That would be 4 Peens in a Pod (it’s… not a porn I swear, it’s Fischfuck and the boys lmao). I’m waaaaaaaaaaay behind on it, though. I watch so many different things now that I’m behind on like… everything I watch/listen to. Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I think I was with all of them? What was the last thing you wrote in a Word document? This survey. Because I combine short ones into Big Boys that I usually don’t finish in one go, I save my progress on it. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss a number of people and would rather not retrospect on them. What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn? *shrug* Do you know anybody who is gay and married? I think so. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Ugh. A whole fucking lot. I’ve thought quite a bit recently on how I miss video editing, but I just don’t have the motivation and dedication for that anymore. Have you ever shared a home with a friend? Yes. What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept? Nowhere that strange at all… Probably just like, the floor, but even then with blankets and stuff. What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven't had lunch yet. Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Pollen is pretty obvious, while serious discoloring and itching let me know I was allergic to silver. Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah, I was visiting her for a couple weeks. It was nice. Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? In ~real life~, probably some friend on Facebook. Do you know anyone who is deaf? We recently found out actually that my youngest niece is deaf in her left ear due to a massive buildup of fluid in it. I’m so ready to hear about her reaction to hearing normally once it’s taken care of. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Probably at some point. “Ever” makes this question difficult. Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them both immensely while acknowledging their flaws. What celebrity do you think should of never become famous? I don’t care enough to think on this honestly haha. Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? What about the Harry Potter craze? Neither. What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"? It was bold for its time, for sure. I’ve never minded it. Actually since coming out as bi I’ve known that this song has to be included in the recession dances of my wedding if my partner is female lmao. Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? I hope there’s some sort of total bliss after death if you’re deserving of such, but I don’t know. I definitely don’t know how I actually picture it. Even if there’s not, well, I’m assuming I just won’t exist anymore, so I wouldn’t be able to care anyway. Sometimes I hope that's the case. What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Hotmail. Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. I remember there was one time where “she” didn’t trade my tooth for munz and I was so mad lmao. Mom apparently forgot and slipped something under the pillow while I was getting ready for school. How I fell for it, who knows man, kids are wild. How do you feel about Taco Bell? I’m not a Mexican food fan, really, but I do love their cheese (with or without chicken) quite a bit. The cinnamon bite things are bomb as FUCK, too. I’m still mad tilted they took potato products off their menu tho because I used to destroy the fiesta potatoes. How often do you go on to YouTube? I’m like… always on it. Not focusing on it at all times, but something’s in the background. Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Well of course, man. What's your dream pet? Ugggghhhh a sunset morph ball python, probably. Buuut I’ve seen some over $2k with their rarity. More realistically, I really, really want a Brazilian Black tarantula. And an arctic morph hognose. I want a lot of pets. ;_; Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? God, I have a lot, honestly. All things considered, the answer is probably Miss Tobey, who was my physical science teacher in high school. She’s an extremely close family friend now involved regularly in my family’s lives. She can be… difficult and says shit before thinking, but we love her nevertheless. What's your favorite fairy tale? Fuck outta here if you say Shrek isn’t one. Do you have a favorite pen? Uh, no… I barely ever use pens anyway. Has a child ever asked you a question you found difficult to answer? Yeah; it happens sometimes with my niece and nephew. Name five books you've read in the past year. I think I’ve read the first three Wings of Fire book within the same year, and I’m currently on the forth. Other than those, I started The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but only got through the prologue I think before my focus shifted onto WoF. I still plan on reading it at some point, though. ^Are any of those books your favorite? No. The prequel to The Testaments, The Handmaid’s Tale, is very high up there, though. Are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? Not at all. Once I read it once, I’m done. There are VERY few books I’ve reread, and most of those were children’s books from when I was little. Do you have a favorite talk show host? Don’t watch any. Which sounds the most refreshing: a hot shower or a cold one? I prefer hot showers unless I seeeeeriously need to cool down. Have you ever made your own soap? No. Can you sleep with socks on? UGH NO. When was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why? Ummm good question. I don’t know about *that* mad. Maybe when Ashley’s mother-in-law shared a massively homophobic article that condoned conversion therapy on Facebook that resulted in me removing her from my friends and RAGING to my mom about it. That was forever ago, though. Do you have a favorite candle brand? No. What is your opinion on taxidermy? I have… very mixed feelings. If the animal was hunted for sport, then it’s fuckin disgusting; you literally killed an animal with the intention to show off the fact you’re a goddamn murderer. On the other hand, taxidermy of naturally-deceased animals can be educational, and even… artistic sometimes? I don’t know. I can’t really pick one stance over the other. Would you ever want to own a body part in a jar? Actually, yes, particularly of fetal animals (that WERE NOT killed for the sake of displaying), but for the same reasons above, I’m not sure if I would *really* do it. They are incredibly interesting to me, more so than taxidermy probably, but yeah, I still question the morality of it. What is the worst thing you have ever done to your own hair? I don’t think I’ve ever really done a “bad” thing to my hair. What qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship? I’m very clingy and, in the beginning, very paranoid that you’re going to leave. Have any of your childhood habits carried over into adolescence/adulthood? I had AWFUL separation anxiety from my mom for a very long time as a kid, and I guess that evolved into my extreme inability to handle loss well, maybe. I’d say they’re at least somewhat related. What is the first band that comes to mind when I say 'dark'? Cradle of Filth popped up first. As far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers? Abuse, arrogance, and distrust probably top the list. Be honest: do looks really matter to you? Nah. It’s nice to be physically attracted to my partner, but it’s not a must. Have you ever done something simply because you were of age? No. Do you think it's worth it to tell someone you had feelings for them when you don't have them anymore? I mean, what’s the situation? Are you hanging out, talking about relationships casually? I’d say it’s fine then if it’s relevant to the conversation. I don’t think it’s worth going out of your way to tell someone you liked them if you don’t anymore, though. Have you ever done something you once thought you'd be too chicken to do? Y’know that ride at fairs where you go up really high on a circular thing with other people and then drop abruptly? That. I screamed like a mf lmao. I had to put a lot of effort into not yelling “SHIIIIIIIIIIIT” lmao. What's a food you love but don't get to eat very often? Stuff involving shrimp, ig. What's your favorite mythical being? Dragons! Have you ever felt a baby kick? I don’t think so, and I don’t want to, considering it’s fucking terrifying to me. I can’t even see a baby move without screaming and wanting to hurl. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Who the fuck knows… What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Said things I shouldn’t have. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? A lot. I can’t be bothered to go through all of them. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I’m not sure. Do you feel that way around anyone now? I don’t think so. What is your main heritage? German or Irish, idr which is more prominent. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? “Bitches” by Hollywood Undead came to me first lmao. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? More than anything, watching inspirational YouTube videos. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? I suppose maybe my ears? I had tubes put in as a kid, I had an absolutely agonizing ear infection once, I had earwax adhered to my eardrum, and they've always been STUPID dry and flaky. Are you watching your weight? Like a hawk, but it doesn’t seem to matter anyway. :^) Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Most of my closest friends I’ve met online. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? You’re asking the wroooong person, lol. I’ve just seen way too many… Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? Lots of things; drawings, some writing, photographs, video edits… What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Just ketchup and mustard. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Sex. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? MEERKATS and MARK What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Tell me I’m weak. Or that my mental illnesses truly do make me unlovable. Just essentially do fucking not make me feel what Jason did. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Said some extremely mean and potentially scarring shit.