#think villanelle from killing eve in a way

[ninyard]

I love ur account 🫶🏾 and btw could we have a yapping session about vic ? Or more lore about rowan and lilya, I really love ur ocs bc they’re so interesting!

Oh YES!!!!

this is my excuse to talk a little about vic because i've haven't spoken about her much at all

She's the only one of my ocs that doesn't play exy - she can, if she has to for whatever reason, but the Moriyama's found she was far more use to them working with a different branch of the family than the sports/exy side.

Victoria 'Vic' Mesman is the daughter of a Dutch family that works for the Moriyama's in a similar vein as the Wesninski's did. Her family moved to the US when she was just a baby, and the Mesman's are one of the families on the west coast that carry out hits and the messy work that needs doing. Vic is just a few years older than Neil, but when she was just a kid, her parents realised there was something very wrong with her, quite early in her development. She was showing all the signs of a psychopath, a sociopath, whatever the right word is for a child who was sadistic from the time she could walk. She was killing animals instead of playing on the playground, she was learning how to cry to get what she wanted when she wanted it. When her peers were learning the ABC's, Vic was learning how to manipulate the adults around her.

Vic can do a thousand different accents perfectly, she speaks more languages than she can count, and she is a very skilled and very competent hit man for the Moriyama family. She’ll disguise herself as anyone just to complete a hit, and that’s what makes her such a reliable asset. It’s her ability to be whoever she needs to be, speak however she needs to, to get things done.

Vic doesn’t feel emotionally attached to anything bar the occasional obsession here and there. She works with poisons and silent hits most of the time, but her preferred method of killing is using a tiny blade of a knife. She loves blood, the feeling of blood, the smell of blood, and nothing makes her feel better than watching the light drain from someone’s eyes.

She met Riko for the first time when she was 14 or so, and they clicked almost instantly. He saw the evil in her eyes and felt intrigued by it, she saw the power he had and wanted nothing more. She frequently did personal hits just because he asked her to, and she was the person who managed to dig up so much dirt on Andrew for him. A short brunette wig and a kind California accent got her his files, her ability to be charming incredible and entirely manufactured. Her way with words, her persuasion skills getting her almost anything she wants, almost all the time. Vic will do anything for Riko’s approval.

Vic is kind of my villain character, in a way. Idk. She’s a terrible person and capable of terrible things. Kind of obsessed with her a little bit.

[multifandom--mess]

hannigram x villaneve crossover fics bc hell yes!

mlm/wlw solidarity if you know what i mean 🤭

《☆☆☆》

》 Summertime in Marseille - (12k)(Mature)

Murder wives across the pond? The London area manhunt for pay to play assassin Oksana Astankova continues tonight after the gruesome discovery of the bodies of two M16 agents and the unsettling disappearance of a third. The missing agent Eve Polastri’s checkered history with the femme fatale stirs up a sense of deja-vu to a case stateside involving the (still unsolved) disappearance of a certain disgraced psychiatrist turned psychopath and his companion Will Graham. Both pairs vanished without a trace, leaving behind only a couple of corpses in the hands of, debatetly inept, law enforcement. Longtime readers will remember the debacle on the rumors of the relationship between Lecter and Graham. Fresh faces should expect much of the same insight when it comes to Astankova and Polastri. -Freddie Lounds [Tattlecrime.com] Or: Villanelle takes Eve to visit an old friend.

》 Wintertime in the Atlantic - (10k)(Mature)

Dear Hannibal and Will, [Eve warned me I really shouldn’t write Hannibal and Will but I don’t think you two are stupid enough to let other people read your mail and the consequences are on you if you are.] A recent client has gifted me four first class tickets for a cruise to Australia on the 11th of December! The ship leaves from Lisbon which is a wonderful coincidence since Eve tells me that’s where you’re currently living. We never got the opportunity to repay you two for helping us during our time of need back in Marseille. My fiancé and I would be delighted if you would accompany us. The tickets are attached! -xoxo Villanelle Or: Eve and Villanelle meet up with the Lecter-Graham’s once again.

》 Rhapsody in Brashness - (4k)(Mature)

“We understand,” says Hannibal. The vibrations of his voice rumble against her the way that thunder does through storm clouds. “You are unique, as I am. And she insinuated herself into you, as Will insinuated himself into me. The blind, pearly rootlets of human connection have burrowed themselves too deeply into the fertile soil of your soul to be killed, now, no matter how many times you hack away at the verdant growth which springs anew into the air, again and again. The intricate underground web of them merely spreads implacably further and deeper and will continue to do so until they smother you, or until you allow the leaves to fully unfurl into the light.” “But she stabbed me,” Villanelle exclaims petulantly.

》 A Cannibal, A Dog Lover, and an Assassin Walk Into A Bar - (1.7k)(G)

Hannibal and Will wanted a quick getaway to Rome, but end up with a little more adventure than they anticipated.

》 Murder Pals in Alaska - (1.5k)(Mature)

Eve and Villanelle make their home in Alaska and befriend Will and Hannibal.

》 Cannibal vs. Assassin: The Showdown - (5k)(Mature)

“Obviously, they do kill people based on those dance moves alone,” Hannibal tittered, but quietly enough as to not attract attention. Will stifled a laugh. “That is not a reason to ruin their night though,” Hannibal decided, following Will through the crowd.

》 Taste and Temptation - (18k)(G)

Eve and Villanelle have gone off on their own, traveling and getting to know each other better. Hannibal and Will have too. Both couples happen to have dark pasts and trouble with the law, but that hasn't really put a damper on their vacations. The four of them happen to meet at an opera in Florence but when they keep running into each other, they have to wonder if their meetings are coincidence or something that could put their travels in danger. Villaneve meets Hannigram on the run.

(NOTE: unfinished but still worth the read!)

》 The Professionals Series - (12k)(T)

A Hannibal/Killing Eve crossover AU where Hannibal and Villanelle are best buds. Theoretically set after "The Wrath of the Lamb" and "God, I'm Tired" for parts I and II and after "You're Mine" for part III.

[sugarandspisces-writes]

Damage Control

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x reader

Summary: You get into an argument with your parents and it brings up some tough emotions. Melissa helps you work through those feelings and thinks of a unique way to help you cope.

Word Count: 8k

A/N - Hi! I want to start off by saying that this fic is purely self-indulgent. I wanted to write something for those that don’t have the support of their loved ones in regard to their sexuality. If you’re currently going through this situation, I hope you can find a piece of comfort in this fic. My main goal with this one is to make you feel less alone. I hope you all enjoy <3

TW - Contains themes of homophobia and depicts interactions with unaccepting parents

It was a Saturday evening, and you found yourself at Melissa’s house. Over the past couple months, it became a ritual for you to spend the weekends with her. You found this was the only time you could enjoy her company due to the demands of the week. Things had been rough for her at school, but she was finally getting used to teaching two grades. She had more free time now, and you jumped at the opportunity to spend it with her.

You were currently sitting on the couch in the comfort of her arms. She was lying with her back against the arm of the couch, and you were sitting in her lap in the same position. Your back was against her front, and her arms were wrapped around your waist. Your head was settled on the left side of her chest, and you could hear the faint sound of her heartbeat.

It was a gloomy day and you didn’t plan on doing much. You originally wanted to spend the day out and about, but due to the weather, you changed your mind. You mutually decided that you would much rather have a lazy day in. You finished eating dinner not too long ago and you were now watching TV.

You recommended Melissa to start Killing Eve a while ago, but she never got around to it. You were glad about that because now you were able to watch it together. You were only on the first season, which you’d seen multiple times, so your attention was being pulled in another direction.

You turned slightly in her arms so that you were facing her. Her hair was up and her face was rid of makeup, so every feature was on display. She was absolutely stunning and you wished you could see her like this more. Your eyes roved over her face until they landed on the slope of her neck. You leaned in and placed a few kisses at the junction of her neck and shoulder. You watched her cheeks become pink from your actions. Her lips twitched as she tried to fight a smile and you couldn’t help but let your lips curve into a grin at the sight. You realized you were staring and tried to look away before she noticed, but you knew you’d been caught when she spoke.

“The TV is over there, you know.” She nodded her head in the direction of the entertainment.

“I know that, Melissa,” you laughed. “I just enjoy looking at you more.”

“Someone’s being very charming today,” she said before turning her head towards you.

You locked eyes momentarily and the twinkle in her green orbs was almost too much for you to handle. You couldn’t think when she looked at you like that. You shied away from her gaze before letting out a chuckle. 

“Do you like the show so far?” You asked after gathering your thoughts. 

“Yeah, it’s good. I thought there would be a little more action though.”

“Oh, trust me, it’s coming. I think the next episode is the one where Villanelle shows up at Eve’s house.” You said while reaching for your phone that was resting on the coffee table.

You heard Melissa groan and you realized that your movement shifted her out of her comfy spot. You gave her an apologetic look before turning your phone on. As you looked through your notifications, you saw that you had a missed call from your dad. The two of you usually called each other every weekend, mainly in the mornings. He didn’t call you this morning, so you thought he’d get to it tomorrow. It was strange for him to call you at this time, but you just assumed he missed you extra and didn’t want the call to wait.

“You can call him back if you need to,” Melissa said, knowing how much you looked forward to catching up with him.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna,” you sat up and swung your legs over the edge of the couch. “It must be important if he’s calling this late.”

“Go ahead. I need to get up and stretch anyways.” She patted the side of your leg, signaling you to stand.

“Be right back,” you said before leaning over to kiss her lips.

✦ ✦ ✦

You made your way into the kitchen and sat at the table in a seat near the entryway. You pressed the missed call notification and held the phone up to your ear. You listened to three sequences of ringing before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

You brought your phone down and looked at the screen in confusion. It wasn’t uncommon for her to answer your dad’s calls if he wasn’t in immediate reach of his phone. It still caught you off guard.

“Hey, mom. I was just calling Dad back.” You said in hopes that she would pass him the phone as quickly as possible.

You loved your mother, but you didn’t have the energy to deal with her right now. You were in a good mood, and you knew she was bound to change that if you continued to speak with her.

“Now, don’t sound too eager to talk to me,” she said. 

You knew she was being sarcastic, but she did have a point. Even though you weren’t in the mood, you were still curious about her well-being. 

“How are you?” You asked.

“I’m just trying to enjoy the day, but the weather has been acting crazy.”

Are we seriously talking about the weather right now? You thought to yourself.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded to yourself. “I was gonna go out today, but those plans got squashed.”

“Oh, honey, I’m glad you realized you need to get out more,” she said. “All you do is go to work, then go home. You need to have a little fun here and there.”

While her comment sounded like she meant well, you knew there was an air of judgment in what she was trying to say.

“I know, mom. You tell me all the time.” You let out a sigh.

“Yeah, well, every time I call you’re always at home.”

“You just happen to call me when I’m at home.” You rolled your eyes.

“You just happen to be at home every time I call you? I find that hard to belie–”

“Mom, where’s Dad?” You asked, trying not to sound too fed up.

“He’s upstairs. He’ll be down soon,” she said. “Why are you in such a hurry?” 

You could almost hear the cogs turning in her head as she thought of the reasons why you wanted to get off the phone with her. You pulled your phone away to see that you’d only been on the phone with her for a little over a minute. Why did it feel like the two of you had been talking for ages? You could feel yourself getting a headache already.

“You can change the subject all you want, but I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt you to get out more.” She said in a tone that you couldn’t quite place, but you knew that it rubbed you the wrong way.

Before you could speak, you heard her say, “Here’s your father.”

You had never been so thankful to talk to your dad in your life.

“Hey, kiddo.” Your dad said. “What’s up?”

“Hey, I was just calling you back. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Why?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “You usually call me earlier in the day.”

“Is it a crime for me to be spontaneous?” He asked. “Haven’t you heard the phrase, “Expect the unexpected?”

You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but chuckle at him.

“It is a crime, considering you’re the most calculated man I know.”

Your parents were very type A, and they always followed some sort of schedule. They liked things to be a certain way, and they were always organized. Despite what it seemed like, they knew how to have fun – especially your dad. However, there were times when they could be stuck in their ways, and that’s why you often butt heads.

“Okay, maybe that’s true.” He laughed. “I just missed you, is all.”

“I miss you too.” You smiled to yourself.

Your heart warmed at his words. Your conversations were so much different than the ones between you and your mom. 

“What are you up to?” Your dad asked, bringing the conversation back to you.

“Nothing much. I was watching TV when you called.”

You could hear your mom in the background making a remark about you not getting out of the house. For some reason, she couldn’t let it go today. 

“Dad, can you put me on speaker?”

“Okay, you’re on speaker.” He confirmed.

You laughed at him before addressing your mom. “Mom, you know I can hear you in the back, right?”

“All I’m trying to say is that the men aren’t gonna meet themselves.” She said bluntly.

You let out a dry laugh. Of course, that’s what this is about. She’d wanted to say it all along, but she liked to bet around the bush for some reason.

“Mom, men aren’t the key to life. I’m fully capable of doing everything a man could do for me by myself.”

She laughed, and you could almost see the shake of her head that came with the action. “Of course, you would say that.” 

“Honey.” You could hear your dad say to your mom in a warning tone.

“No, it’s okay.” Clearly, there was a deeper meaning to her words. “What’s that supposed to mean, Mom?”

It was silent on the other end of the line as you waited for an answer. 

“I think your mother is just trying to say–”

“Dad, I wanna hear it from her. What’s that supposed to mean, Mom?” You repeated. 

You could feel yourself becoming more defensive as the seconds went on.

“I’m not surprised you would say something like that. With you being the way you… are and whatnot.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the words.

“The way I am? Wh–What are you trying to say?” You asked, but you knew exactly what she was alluding to.

You weren’t solely attracted to men, and that dissatisfied your mother more than anything. You knew it bothered your dad too; the only difference was that he wasn’t so brash about it. You had hope that he might come to terms with it in the future. Your mother, on the other hand, was a different story.

✦ ✦ ✦

Melissa was sitting on the couch as she waited for you to finish your conversation. For the past ten minutes, she had busied herself with looking at the pictures hanging on her walls. She couldn’t remember the last time she really looked at them. She had been so busy at work trying to keep up with two classes that she didn’t notice how long it had been since she took a proper pause. This was the first time in about three weeks that she was able to keep her head above the water.

It was also the first weekend that she had been able to fully enjoy in a while. When she realized she would have some free time, her first thought was that she wanted to spend it with you. It was very unlike her to want to spend her spare time with anyone, but there was something special about you. You made her feel at peace, and she craved having you around at all times. 

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard your voice coming from the kitchen. The sound was muffled from where she was standing, so she couldn’t make out what you were saying. Nonetheless, you sounded like you were in distress. She debated whether or not to go check on you. She knew you were capable of handling your own problems, but she still wanted to make sure that you were okay. She reasoned with herself and made her way over to the entrance of her kitchen.

She didn’t walk in yet out of fear that she might be interrupting something. Your relationship was still kind of new, and she didn’t want to seem like she was butting into your business. From outside the doorway, she could hear another woman’s voice. She assumed this was your mom.

She heard the tail end of the conversation, and she was a little stunned, to say the least. She knew about your weekly catch-ups with your dad, and she had been there to overhear some of them. To her, your parents didn’t seem like the type of people to participate in an argument with you. In her opinion, that was more her family’s style. However, she knew that it was presumptuous of her to assume such a thing without much context. She continued to listen to the conversation, curious to hear what would be said next.

✦ ✦ ✦

“You know what I’m saying, Y/N!” Your mother said, raising her voice. 

You knew you’d struck a nerve. She wasn’t at her yelling point, but she was getting close. If she wanted to play that game though, you would play. If there was one thing the two of you were good at, it was yelling at each other.

“I like women, Mom! So what?” You raised your voice back.

“So what?” She said in disbelief, as if she couldn’t fathom what you were saying. “It’s wrong, Y/N. That’s what!”

“Says who? You?” You yelled at her. You didn’t mean to, but you couldn’t help it. You weren’t gonna sit there and listen to her talk about right and wrong as if she was a saint.

“Do not raise your voice at me.” Your mom said sternly.

You knew you were in the wrong at the moment, but you weren’t going to apologize. She was still your mom, but if she wasn’t going to respect you, you weren’t going to respect her.

“A little support would be nice every now and then, you know.” You said.

“I support you plenty. Or do you not remember me and your father loaning you money a couple of weeks ago?” She pointed out. “Did that slip your mind somehow?” She said in a condescending tone.

“That’s not what I mean!” You said in frustration. 

Your mother thought that monetary support was equal to emotional support. In her mind, if you had all of your needs met, emotions didn’t have to be part of the picture.

“You did it to yourself, Y/N. If you didn’t make the choice–”

At those words, you lost it.

“It’s not a choice, Mom! I didn’t choose anything! It’s just who I am!” You shouted through the phone. Tears began to prick your eyes. You tried to blink them away, but they fell anyway.

You stood from your seat and walked around the table. You could feel yourself getting angry, and you didn’t know how that would end, so you tried to calm down before your emotions got out of hand. 

“That’s not who you are!” She yelled back. “I didn’t raise you to be like that. Your father–”

“No, Mom, it's not who you are!” You interrupted her. You reigned your tears in and gained control of your voice. You wanted her to hear your next statements loud and clear.  “Not everything is about you! And Dad can speak for himself.”

Since you came out to your parents, your mom had a hard time separating her identity from yours. She couldn’t bear the fact that you weren’t straight. To her, you were flawed, and she felt like she had done something wrong raising you. What she failed to see was that your identity had nothing to do with her. It was only about you.

“I’m not talking about this with you anymore,” she said.

You saw that one coming. Once you began talking about her image, she shut down. When it came to slander, she could dish it, but she couldn’t take it.

“Fine.” You said, and that was the end of that.

You plopped down in the chair and took a few deep breaths before speaking again.

“Dad,” you said, “are you still on the phone?”

Your dad had been silent the whole time. Not because he didn’t care, but because he knew better than to get in the middle of your and your mom's spats. He meant well, but sometimes you wish he would give his input. Confrontation wasn’t his strong suit though, so you knew it might be a while before you ever heard his side of things.

“Yeah, I’m here, kiddo.” He sounded dejected. “I’m sorry.”

He hadn’t meant for the phone call to go south.

“You don’t have to apologize for her.”

“Yeah, but I know she’ll probably never say it,” he said, sounding defeated for you.

“Yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

You talked with him for a few minutes longer before saying goodnight and ending the call. This was not the direction you expected the night to go in, but like your dad said, you should learn to expect the unexpected.

✦ ✦ ✦

Moments later, you found yourself still sitting at the kitchen table. Your mother’s words rang in your head as you tried to process everything. As you continued to think about the things she said, you felt your frustration resurface. The feeling had only intensified since then, and you began to feel red-hot anger creeping its way up your chest. It settled at the base of your neck and as a result, you felt suffocated. You couldn’t help but let out a scream at the sensation.

“Fuck!” You shouted before slamming your phone down onto the wooden surface of the table.

The sound must have startled Melissa because she appeared before you.

“You okay?” Melissa asked as she kneeled in front of you. She had a frown on her face as she tried to decipher the expression on yours.

You were embarrassed at your sudden outburst and the fact that she’d heard the conversation with your parents. You were also feeling a little helpless because your emotions were manifesting themselves and you had virtually no idea how to handle them. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You could feel Melissa running her hand along your back and that brought you down enough to muster out a reply.

“Yeah,” you said in a flat tone. You meant to be more convincing, but it didn’t quite work.

“You know, you can tell me if you’re not okay.” She said, continuing to rub your back.

You cleared your throat and shook your head as if you were trying to reset your brain to 30 minutes ago: when you were peacefully lying in your girlfriend’s arms and not having thoughts of taking your mother’s neck in your hands and–

“Hon,” Melissa said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Hmm,” you hummed before looking at her again. 

You soon came to realize that was a big mistake. Suddenly everything was too much. Too real. How close she was to you, the look in her eyes, the hand on your back. You needed her to move, but you couldn’t vocalize that. 

“What can I do?” She asked.

“Um, I don’t, I–,” You stumbled over your words.

You reached around to your back so you could grab her hand. She mistook the gesture as you seeking more comfort. She clasped her hand around yours and that gave you the push you needed to speak up.

“I don’t know, but you need to move.” You snatched your hand away as if her touch burned you.

She looked a little shocked, but she moved away as fast as her body allowed her to. Once she was gone, you realized how harsh you’d sounded and you instantly felt bad. She was just trying to help, and here you were snapping at her.

“I’m sorry. I just– I’m really hot and I can’t–” You stood up and started to frantically fan yourself.

Melissa continued to look at you. She was trying to figure out what her next move would be. She’d never seen you like this, and she wanted to handle this situation correctly. As soon as she realized that staring at you wasn’t going to help, she jumped into action.

“That’s okay. How about we start by taking this off.” She stepped closer to you before realizing she should probably warn you. She wanted to avoid your previous reaction at all costs. “I’m just gonna come closer, but I’m not gonna touch you.”

You couldn’t even focus on what she was saying because you were about two seconds away from freaking out again. You could only make out every other word, but it was enough for you to piece her sentences together. You nodded your head to show that it was okay for her to come closer.

Why the fuck am I so hot? You thought to yourself.

“I just wanna get your jacket off.” She said.

Jacket? What jacket?

As you watched her reach toward you, you looked down to see that you were wearing the hoodie Melissa let you borrow earlier. You were so scatterbrained that you didn’t realize you still had it on.

She grasped the zipper on the garment before pulling it down, causing the sleeves to fall off your shoulders. Once the item was off, you felt so much better and your thoughts started to become more clear. You sat back down and let out a sigh of relief as you leaned forward, resting your palms on your knees. You looked down at the ground in an attempt to focus your attention on something other than the anger and shame you were feeling.

“That feel any better?” Melissa inquired.

You thought about her question for a second. You felt better because you weren’t burning up anymore. However, you could still feel the remnants of ire in the pit of your chest. 

“A little, but I feel like,” you paused. “Like I,” you trailed off before giving up.

Melissa reached out to gently grasp your jaw. She tilted your face upward so you could look at her. Her palm felt cool against your warm skin. 

“Like what?” She looked at you intently.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged before removing your face from her hold.

It wasn’t a secret that you experienced emotions deeply. You felt more than the average person, and you were very in tune with other people. You were the definition of an empath, and it was a gift as well as a curse. You cared for others, but the weight of harboring their emotions in addition to your own was too much to handle at times.

You were also prone to burying your feelings. That’s where your difficulties with communication stemmed from. When you were hurting you kept it to yourself, and that made it harder for you to navigate situations like this. When you had a chance to express your feelings, you weren’t always sure how to convey them to others.

Melissa pulled up a chair and set it directly in front of you. To be honest, you were taken aback by the action. You fully expected her to leave you alone until you could figure out an answer to her question. As you looked at her, you saw through all the concern and found there was determination in her eyes. She wanted to figure out what was going on inside your head, and she wasn’t going to give up until she got an explanation.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling physically?” She reached out to grab your hand, finding it hard not to show her affection. “Just one thing.”

“Um, kinda like I might… explode.” You looked toward her in hopes of receiving some form of validation, and without fail she gave it to you.

“Okay.” She nodded her head and began to stroke the back of your hand with her thumb. “Anything else?”

“My heart is beating really fast and I feel tense. Like, all over.” You took your free hand and motioned it in a circle around you.

“That doesn’t sound like a nice feeling,” she spoke softly. 

To you, her tone seemed uncharacteristically gentle. It was unlike anything you’d ever heard from the redhead.

“What do you usually do when you feel like this?” Her eyes never strayed from yours.

“Nothing really.” You looked at her sheepishly. “I usually just push it away or try to focus on something else.”

The lost look in your eyes pulled at Melissa’s heartstrings. She could see the trouble you were having processing your emotions, and all she wanted to do was help you. She had an idea, but she wasn’t sure how you’d receive it. However, she knew it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Are you willing to try somethin’ for me, hon?” She bit her lip as she anticipated your response.

“Sure.” You were willing to try just about anything if it would make you feel better.

“Okay, give me just a sec.” She held up her index finger, then proceeded to walk out of the kitchen.

Melissa soon returned with something interesting in her hands: a baseball bat. You looked at her with curiosity as she came to stand before you.

“Come on.” She nodded her head toward the back door. “Let’s go outside for a minute.”

You followed her into the yard, where she walked you to a secluded corner. As she moved a few items around to create some space, you noticed her backyard was very homey. There was a couch decorated with pillows and blankets and it was placed near a fire pit. There was also a garden located on the opposite end.

Above you, there were string lights that were activated by the two of you stepping outside. They lit up the yard with a warm glow and you began to find comfort in the cozy atmosphere. She had a fence built well above your height that surrounded the area, and it made you feel completely safe.

When she was finished rearranging, Melissa came to stand across from you. “When I get upset, I take this and use it to do as much damage as I can.” She presented the bat to you.

You tried not to think too much into her statement, but you couldn’t help raising your eyebrows.

“I promise everything I’ve done was legal,” she said after seeing your reaction. “Well, mostly.”

“Melissa!” Your eyes widened at the thought of her committing crimes with the object.

“I’m kidding, hon,” she assuaged your fears. “I don’t have anything for you to hit, but I think the ground will do just fine.” She tapped with her foot, illustrating its firm nature.

You still felt unsure of what to do.

“You don’t have to try it if you don’t want to,” she assured you. She didn’t want to talk you into doing anything that made you feel uncomfortable. “We can always figure something else out, but I think this might help you release some of those emotions.”

If she thought it would help, what was the harm in testing out her theory? 

“Okay, I’ll try.”

You reached your hands out to accept the bat from her. She handed it over, then stepped closer to the house to give you some space. You stood there for a second, those feelings of uncertainty coming back to you. You felt out of your element as you twisted the bat around.

You took a couple breaths before holding it up by the handle. Your arms lifted above you before swiftly coming down to slam the head of the bat against the ground.

Sightly alarmed by the loud crack that echoed around the space, you looked toward Melissa and let out a gasp. She was standing against the fence with arms folded across her chest.

“How’d that feel?” She looked at you expectantly.

“Good.” You nodded. “I wonder what your neighbors are gonna think.”

“Don’t worry about that.” She began to walk toward you. “If they have a problem I’ll handle it.”

You must have still looked suspicious because she spoke again.

“You just focus on letting those feelings go.” She squeezed your shoulder affectionately before taking a seat on the couch. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

You stood there for a moment gathering your thoughts. The only thing Melissa cared about was making you feel better. She could care less about anyone else at the moment. With that in mind, you felt completely safe to express yourself however you needed to. She just wanted to be there to make sure you were safe. Your heart warmed at the thought, and your anger nearly dissipated.

Now all you could focus on was how much she cared about you and your emotional well-being. She looked after you so intently. No one had ever taken the time to truly listen to you and help you combat your insufferable burdens. That thought settled deep within you causing a twinge to flutter through your chest. The ache was so profound you felt it in every fiber of your being.

You closed your eyes and took another deep breath before smashing the bat into the grass for the second time. You repeated the action until you began to lose count of how many times you’d struck the ground.

All you could think about were the feelings your mom had brought up and the pain associated with them. When you couldn’t think about that anymore, you thought about every time you wanted to express an emotion, but couldn’t. When you’d exhausted that thought, you just focused on how free you felt at the moment. With each hit, you could feel yourself letting go of the pain you’d held onto for so long.

Then, something broke within you. You slammed the ground one last time, your body sagging forward from the force. You felt your chest heave as a guttural sound escaped your throat, and you let out a final breath in its wake. 

The metallic bat dropped to the ground with a clang and you used every last bit of your strength to stand up straight. You filled your lungs with air and on the exhale, you felt a sob bubble in your throat. Your hands flew to your mouth to muffle the sound, but it was too late. You had already released an echoing wail into the open. Surrendering every part of the anguish, you let the sobs wrack your body. It was getting harder to breathe, but you didn’t care, really.

“Y/N.” She was gentle as not to startle you.

Upon opening your eyes, you were met with a worried look. She was maintaining her distance just in case you were feeling overwhelmed, but by the look in her eyes, you could see that she just wanted to comfort you. You pulled her closer and once the gap was closed, she brought her hands up to wipe your eyes. She gently held your face in her palms as you continued to weep. 

“You didn’t mention that I would cry my eyes out,” you joked. It was an attempt to lighten the mood, but your delivery was pathetic. You were all choked up, trying your best to talk through broken sobs. “A warning would have been nice.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Melissa said in a hushed tone. It almost sounded like she was fighting back her own tears. But you knew she hadn’t gone that soft on you— yet. 

You were pulled into a hug, her arms wrapping firmly around your torso. You hugged back, arms hanging loosely around her neck, then brought your head down to rest on her shoulder. She pulled you closer before placing a kiss on your forehead. The action was so delicate that it caused a surge of fresh tears to fill your eyes.

Melissa could feel your chest quavering with each breath you took, so she gave you some encouragement. “Let it out, hon.” 

You shook your head and released a whimper instead. You’d cried enough and there was no need to do it all over her. However, you should have known that wasn’t going to satisfy her. Your pain didn’t serve you any purpose, and she refused to let it weigh you down.

“Come on, love.” She murmured into your ear, voice so velvety you couldn’t help but give in. “There you go,” she praised as your cries got heavier.

You collapsed into her arms and let your body go slack against hers. She staggered backward, not expecting you to fall into her like that, but regained her footing and held you steady. 

“I’m here, okay? I’ve got you.”

For a moment, all you could focus on was her. She rubbed large circles across your back and you nestled closer into the curve of her neck. Her scent invaded your senses; something spicy, sweet, and clothed in warmth. You could feel yourself calming down with each breath you took.

“That’s it. Just breathe.” She instructed.

She began to sway your body from side to side. The motion was so soothing that you felt your eyelids getting heavy. If she kept it up, you were sure you’d fall asleep. You willed yourself to stay awake so you could relish in the safety she was providing.

“You doing okay?” She asked after she was sure your sobs had ceased.

“Mhmm,” you hummed.

It wasn’t the best response, but Melissa took your even breaths and lack of tears as a sign that you had settled down.

She began to unwrap her arms from around you, but you weren’t ready. You held on tighter, which was physically impossible considering you were already as close as you could get.

She held you a little longer before deciding to ask for permission this time. “Is it okay if I let go?”

She hadn’t given you any indication that she was leaving, but a piece of you was afraid that you might not find that level of comfort again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, sensing your hesitation. “I just wanna get you back inside.”

You obliged and she maintained her proximity by holding you by the waist. The gesture was tender and affectionate, and she kept her word leaving no room for doubts in your mind.

✦ ✦ ✦

“You gonna be okay by yourself for a second?” Melissa asked as you sat in the living room.

“I’ll be okay,” you rasped.

“Okay, sit tight,” Melissa said before venturing off.

You were grateful for her tenderness, and it was the first time you were seeing this side of her. Of course, she was always gentle with you, but something was different tonight. She was being so patient and loving—it made your heart feel so full.

She returned with a glass of water and took a seat next to you. You gladly accepted the beverage and found yourself nearly downing it in one gulp. The cool liquid felt nice on your sore throat. You set the cup down on the coffee table and let out a deep sigh. A familiar sting pricked your eyes, but you refused to do any more of that right now.

You could see Melissa watching you out of the corner of your eye. She was trying to be discreet, but even if you couldn’t see her, you’d be able to feel the intensity of her stare. You weren’t sure what she was trying to communicate to you, so you redirected your gaze.

She smiled at you, her lips gently curling, as she brought a hand over to rest on your thigh. You placed your hand over hers and began to play with her fingers. She had a singular ring on the middle one and you twisted it around to distract yourself.

She pulled you out of your head by locking your fingers together. You looked back up at her and she opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. Her eyebrows were knit together and she had a pensive look on her face. She looked like she was going through a mental tug-of-war.

You watched as she dropped your hand and changed her position so she was leaning against the arm rest. She waved her hand, motioning for you to come join her. You took your place in her arms and laid on top of her, tucking your head under her chin and settling in. You took a hand and rested it on her stomach, feeling it move up and down with each breath she took.

You closed your eyes as she placed a kiss to the crown of your head. She repeated the action before moving her lips lower and doing the same near your hairline. She slipped her hand underneath the fabric of your shirt and began to lightly trace her nails against your back. That had to be one of your favorite sensations, and you could feel yourself melting deeper into her touch. She was almost lulling you into a trance.

“Your mom seemed pretty upset earlier, hm?” She asked, switching the pattern she was making on your back.

Melissa knew what she was doing. She wanted to get you as relaxed as possible so that you could talk about the events that led to this moment. She knew it would be hard for you to get worked up if she was holding you close, giving you kisses, and rubbing your back. It was the gentlest form of persuasion.

“Yeah.” Your voice cracked as your thoughts wandered back to the conversation. You cleared your throat before continuing, “I guess you could say so.”

Not missing the hitch in your voice, she encouraged you to take a deep breath. Once she was pleased with your effort, she formulated her next response.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She didn’t want to upset you again.

“No, it’s okay.” You assured her. “I just don’t understand.”

Melissa waited for you to elaborate, but when you didn’t, she prompted you. “You don’t understand what, babe?” She asked, moving back a couple of inches so she could look at you properly.

“I’ve spent the majority of my life–” A lump made its way up your throat. You swallowed it down, determined not to let your emotions get the better of you. “I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to be perfect for her. I’ve done absolutely everything I could to please her.”

Melissa nodded her head in understanding as you peered up at her.

“I made good grades in school and I did all the extracurriculars. I went to college, navigated everything the way she advised me to. I sacrificed so much of my happiness to make sure she was content. It worked for a long time, you know? She was happy.” 

“And because of that you were happy,” Melissa stated.

She knew how you were. People pleasing was part of your character. It was hard for you to grasp the idea that you wouldn’t be able to satisfy everyone. No matter what, there would always be someone who didn’t agree with you.

You nodded, taking a breath before continuing, “That all changed when I came out to her though. I mean, I knew what her reaction would be, but I wanted to take some of my power back from her. I had quite literally burnt myself out trying to do right by her.” You took a beat before saying, “I just felt like I wasn’t my own person anymore and that kind of scared me.”

Melissa moved a hand up to your cheek, as she continued to look at you. Her thumb smoothed across the side of your face and your eyes fell closed at the feeling. You hadn’t even noticed the lone tear escaping your eye until she swiped it away.

“So, I told her.” You laughed wryly. “I wasn’t even sure what my labels were at the time. I’m honestly still not, but I just knew that I wasn’t straight. I just felt so compelled to let her know that she didn’t have a say in every aspect of my life.”

“I’m proud of you for making that decision. That must have been really hard.” Melissa empathized with you.

Her sage eyes were glassy as she listened to you tell your story. Hearing about your relationship with your mother allowed her to gain a deeper understanding of your habits. She’d wondered why you were such a perfectionist, why you cared so much about what people thought of you, why it was hard for you to say no sometimes.

“Oh, it was a nightmare.” You looked off to the side as you recounted the day. “I told her right before I went off to college. I told my dad too. She didn’t speak to me for months. I think that’s part of the reason why me and my dad got so close.”

“How did your dad take it?” Melissa asked.

“Better than her. He wasn’t jumping for joy, but he was respectful of me. He understands that it’s not up to him to pick my life partner.” You looked back at her before saying, “That’s all I asked of them. To respect me. He just happened to be the one who could comply with my wishes.”

“There’s always that one person,” Melissa sighs. She didn’t know your mom personally, so she wouldn’t bash her. Not to your face at least. Instead, she opted to give you a piece of wisdom. “You can’t please everyone, hon.”

“I know.” You sighed, matching her tone. “It just doesn’t make sense to me. My dad can do it, so why can’t she?”

You looked at Melissa with sorrowful eyes. You could feel your resolve starting to crumble and that ache in your chest returned. “Why can’t she just love me how I am?”

You were directing the question at her but unfortunately, she didn’t have an explanation. She tried to compose an answer, but her words wouldn’t come. The way you looked at her made her brain lapse. She tried to think of something quickly because she couldn’t take the site of that sullen look. However, she didn’t have anything to say, and that was rare. Her lack of words generated a response from you, and it wasn’t one she was expecting.

“No matter how hard I try, nothing I do will ever be enough for her.” Your lips crumpled as the words left your mouth. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“Oh, honey. Come here.” She closed the small space between you by pulling you into her chest. 

You cried, but it was mild in comparison to your previous round of tears. “I just don’t get it.”

“I don’t get it either,” she said, resuming her gentle back scratches, “but let me tell you something.” She pulled your chin up so you were level with her eyes. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.”

“There must be. Why else would she–”

“You are passionate, hardworking, and so damn smart. You always make me smile, and you are a joy to be around.” Melissa said with conviction.

“You are perfect just the way you are. Do you hear me? When you began to shy away from her words, she pulled your attention back to her. “I’m not sure what your mother sees when she looks at you, but I see a wonderful person who is kind and caring. You have a beautiful personality and a heart that is too pure for this world.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes, hon. Why would I say that if I didn’t mean it?”

You could only shrug at her question.  

“No, don’t give me that. Talk to me,” she urged.

You could tell she genuinely wanted to hear your thoughts because she had that determined look on her face again. How could you possibly say no to that?

“I know you mean it. It’s not that.”

“What is it, then?”

“I don’t get to feel validated very often,” you disclosed. “So it’s just nice to hear those words.”

“I meant every single thing.” She punctuated her words with a nod.

“I know, Lissa. Thank you.” You smiled at her. “For everything you’ve done for me tonight.”

You leaned forward to wrap her in a hug one last time. You hoped you could convey every ounce of thanks into the embrace. She’d done more for you in a few hours than you could have ever asked.

“You’re welcome. But you don’t need to thank me. It’s what I’m here for.” She hugged you back with just as much enthusiasm, if not more. “I’ll always be here to listen to you and validate you anytime you need it.”

You pulled back from the hug just enough to see her face, and you leaned in to kiss her lips. It was delicate and sweet, but full of passion. You tangled your hand into auburn locks so you could keep her near as you exchanged a few more pecks. She pulled away and pressed a final kiss to your temple.

You ended the day the same way you started it: wrapped up on the couch enjoying each other’s presence. In that moment, you realized you’d found something special with her. In the midst of chaos, she had the ability to bring you back to center. She put things into perspective, and helped you see the bigger picture.

Sure, you wanted your mom to come around, but you couldn’t make her. That was something she would have to do on her own timing—you couldn’t force it upon her. Whether or not she would come to accept you was a mystery. However, what you did know was that Melissa would always be in your corner and that was more than enough for you.

[a-lil-bi-furious]

Top 10 Ships Involving POC in 10 Different Fandoms (Round 4)

Thanks to the wonderful @welldressedllama for the tag! 🥰 Just for funsies, this time I’m doing enemies-to-lovers/rivals-to-lovers/maybe-not-traditional-enemies-but-way-too-antagonistic-to-not-fit-the-bill-to-lovers edition. In no particular order:

1) Macy Vaughn x Abigael Jameson-Caine (Macigael) - Charmed CW

I ultimately respect the AbiMel plot, but these two were literally Right There. Excellent chemistry from moment one and they perfectly mirrored each other with Macy as a witch with demon blood (struggling with darkness) and Abigael as a demon with witch blood (struggling to accept lightness). To think of what could have been with the two of them and the acceptance of good and bad and the whole complex mess of the self makes me insaneeee

2) Nicky Shen x Zhilan Zhang (Zhicky) - Kung Fu CW

Idek what to say their dynamic was just so fun and watching them begrudgingly grow close was chef's kiss.

3) Eve Polastri x Villanelle (Villaneve) - Killing Eve

Literally THE enemies to lovers imho. What more do I need to say? Eve said seduction into my darkness? Yes please. Villanelle said feel emotions for one (1) woman and obsess over her? Okay. They're enemies AND lovers. They've both tried to kill each other. So? They get each other like no one else. No one's doing it like them

4) Scott McCall x Theo Raeken (Sceo) - Teen Wolf

Sorry but I'm clawing at the walls, gnawing on my hands, howling at the moon over them. Exploring all the tension and the guilt and the fear and the longing is delicious. And the layer of long-lost friends? The subtle seduction into trust and the mutual destruction on Theo's part? Sorry I'm crazy about it sorry.

5) Mona Vanderwaal x Spencer Hastings (Vanderstings/Spemona?) - Pretty Little Liars

Somebody in this fandom needs to tell me right meow why they're not a bigger thing??? Quintessential 'they hate each other's guts but no one matches their freak better'. Throw Hanna in the mix and that's the perfect formulation, but they hold their own on enemies-to-lovers grounds sooooooo well.

6) Raven Reyes x John Murphy (Murven) - The 100

Truth be told they're not my top ship for each other BUT they are the epitome of enemies to friends (to lovers). Some of the best relationship development I can think of.

7) Bonnie Bennett x Nora Hildegard (Bonnora) - The Vampire Diaries

Literally why were they not a thing? Bonenzo ily but look at them! They had such a fun little antagonistic flirty thing and Nora was canonically crushing on Bonnie. All I want is queer Bonnie and I was so close to having it

8) Kitty Covey x Yuri Han (Kitturi) - XO Kitty

Kitty literally took one look at rival Yuri making music and crossed that thin line from hate to love. Girl was like "I will take this Angry tension and transform it into Sexual tension" and I respect that

9) Kathani "Kate" Sharma x Anthony Bridgerton (Kanthony) - Bridgerton

I've only watched one full episode and seen random bits here and there but I'm obsessed with her and I'm obsessed with them. Literally scene one I was all in. They are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires

10) Luke Alvez x Penelope Garcia (Garvez) - Criminal Minds

I missed Morgan as much as the next guy, but Penelope and Luke's banter and chemistry is unmatched. Shame on the new seasons for lying to me and saying they went on a date but didn't have the same chemistry, that is such Bull

Honorable mention: Zafira x Nasir (Nasira? Nafira?) from the Sands of Arawiya duology, who I feel I cannot officially include because I have only read a small excerpt so far, but I expect to like very much

Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3

As always, no pressure whatsoever, but I’ll tag @freddieslater @aconfusedidentity @userlaylivia @scribeoffate @sees-writes @rhyslahey and anyone else who wants to play! :)

[oksanas-sun]

something that kills me to think about is the difference between villanelle's reaction to eve stabbing her and eve having her arrested. how she viewed eve physically harming, almost killing her, as a confession of love but having her arrested broke all trust & almost caused the definite fall-out between them.

because violence had been the only way vill knew at that point. and stabbing her showed her that eve has a dark side to her, that they're more alike than she previously thought, that they speak the same language & understand each other in ways other people cannot even fathom. and in a way it was proof for her that eve wasn't like anna. (because earlier that day anna pointed a gun at her and vill told anna "you can't do it" and she was right. but when she told eve "you can't", eve confidently said "yes i can" and she could.)

after all, vill became interested in eve because she (her hair specifically) looked like anna. however she fell in love with eve because she wasn't like anna.

but when eve had her locked up? that reminded her too much of anna in the bad ways. it triggered all the repressed trauma and fears (and the abandonment issues that were definitely caused by tatiana) from her time in the russian prison. in her mind, that was eve starting to act like anna and she didn’t want to go through that same heartache again so she convinced herself she wanted eve gone...

[villanelleskiss]

what pains me the most about killing eve is how wrong the writers got everything. how they think that obsession is purely toxic and can’t be romantic in any way. that eve’s path into darkness was always doomed bc villanelle would be involved and that somehow villanelle would end up killing her or both of them. going back and forth over meaningless storylines for canon fodder. villanelle can’t go a day without thinking about eve, eve can’t go a moment without thinking about villanelle. it’s a vicious cycle and yet, they fall into the routine of listening to the other people around them telling them to stay away from each other when everything just pulls them back together bc they are meant to be *together* and they cannot thrive without each other and everyone around them is terrified of that. they know how powerful eve and villanelle are together and they tried so hard to make them act out of character and hate each other for no other purpose than to force whatever shitty narrative they wanted. eve would’ve never slapped villanelle or had her arrested (actually idk on that one but i don’t think so). and the absolute 180 that s4 took having villanelle join the church after that beautiful moment of them finally accepting and understanding that they will thrive together and are choosing to have that life for themselves will be the biggest joke of all time. villanelle never gave a fuck if she was a good person so long as eve didn’t care. eve didn’t think villanelle was a monster. why are writers so afraid of having these two queer women together so badly that they can’t find a way to write the story with them together and kicking ass? like they must seriously be so embarrassed to be so boring that their only option is to deconstruct them to nothing so they can force their own opinions on it. and how absolutely purely homophobic laura neal was calling their s4 kiss “the piss kiss” bc she wanted it to be as unromantic as possible bc she didn’t want them to actually ever be together. she had no intentions of it. nobody ever had intentions of letting these two women be together (minus PWB possibly) and it’s so painfully obvious yet through it all, eve and villanelle found their ways to prevail in their own story and that’s why their story will never be over.

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

Punishing the queer characters and heavily queer coded relationship in IASIP with death or the annihilation of their relationships is like killing Villanelle in Killing Eve to me. I can see what they would be going for, wrapping up a story about terrible people doing terrible things, but I fundamentally disagree that self-righteous narrative punishment has a place in these types of stories at all.

The concept of narrative punishment becomes complicated, too, when you have a blatantly queer narrative. Killing Eve, for example, was about Eve's corruption and it would've been more subversive if her and Villanelle had either ended up as 'murder wives' or eternally homoerotic rivals. Punishing them with Villanelle's death just as they got together after seasons of dancing around each other was... comically predictable in all the worst ways. Hannibal understood this I think, probably because the creator was gay himself, and Will and Hannibal's deaths are a question mark they plunged into together rather than a certainty dictated by a self-righteousness that's out of place within the context of the story.

In the context of IASIP, these characters serve the purpose of exaggeratedly pointing to all the ways our current society can obliterate self-development, especially if they were already different in the first place, or mentally unwell, or raised by frankly terrible people and didn't have the capacity to develop any processing skills. IASIP says, "The society we live in created these individuals and now you have to deal with them." The way in which they're broken means that the only real relationships they can hold onto is with each other, it's a bit too cruel to want it ripped apart or away from them, even buried as it is in toxic masculinity, misogyny, and internalized homophobia.

That's why punishing Dennis with a Deeless, Macless, and Charlieless existence doesn't appeal to me as an ending at all. The satire uses all of them to make a point about the structures we exist in that shape us and any lasting individual punishment overrides the commentary they made about how manufactured the characters are. Furthermore, punishing Dennis like this specifically as his queer subtext is made textual after a frustrating 16 season struggle to finally accept this part of himself (and this part of Mac) bombs all that progress entirely. Once again the queer guy loses, the society that shaped him wins. It's a pretty bleak treatise on humanity in general and I'd rather live in a ending where they get to be their terrible selves together.

[delenaisepiclove]

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

Hey Cosmic! Well let’s see…five fav fics that I’ve written. I’ve written a bunch on FanFiction.Net but for this post I’m going to stick with the ones I have up on ao3. First one that comes to mind is The Reunion. It’s about Faith and Buffy reuniting after her time in prison and it’s currently my most popular piece on ao3, so that makes me very happy. Not only that, it was my first time ever writing a w/w fic so to know that a lot of people liked it really meant a lot. :)

Second would have to be Partners in Crime. It’s based off of the animated show She-Ra and is centered around Catra and Adora, two of the main characters in the show. It’s another one that got a lot of attention that I really enjoyed writing. It’s very wholesome and sweet with a dash oof mischievousness thrown into it. Very very cute.

Third would be an on-going fic I’m writing called Star Crossed Enemies to Lovers. It’s a vampire fic centered on two characters from the show Killing Eve. Eve is a vampire hunter focused on hunting down a vampire named Villanelle, and the two have this back and forth cat and mouse game for awhile until feelings eventually between the characters. I only have a few chapters up and am in the process of writing the third chapter, but it’s coming along nicely and I can’t wait to post it! It’s my first vampire fic I’ve written in years so I’m pretty stoked about it. :) It’s not quite as popular as my last two but I’m hoping it’ll gain more traction as I add more chapters to it.

Fourth is A Blast from the Past, my latest Delena fanfic. This one is pretty dark, and is based off of a storyline I did on my RP account with a close friend many years ago. Damon and Elena are still vampires and have settled down, and even conceived a child together. But sometime later on down the road, something happens that causes Damon to revert back to his old ways where he only cared about Katherine and nobody else. It’s another WIP of mine and I’m not sure when I’ll have the second chapter posted. I just have fond memories of writing that with my friend and wanted to share it with more people.

And for my final story it would have to be Dark Savior. It’s another w/w fic set in the Buffy series only this time it’s centered around Faith and Willow. This is takes place during the Dark Willow arc and instead of Xander calming Willow down from her plan to end the world, it’s Faith. Unusual pairing but I think it works really well here, though I’m more of a Fuffy (Buffy/Faith) person personally.

If you’re interested in reading these stories you can find them all on my ao3 page. I only have a handful up so far so it’s not hard to find the five fics I’ve talked about in this post.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialStorm/works

[armandjolras]

ok I have to ramble about Killing Eve’s treatment of gayness sorry. This is going to be long. Spoilers for all seasons

first of all, I think it’s noteworthy that there’s SO much casual gayness in the show. Some random mi6 guy has a boyfriend, the wedding in the finale is between two men, Helene is gay, Villanelle has many brief flings with women. And yet, there’s so much resistance from the writers towards defining or progressing Villanelle and Eve’s relationship. I feel like this is a slightly more progressive form of what Disney does with their “first gay character”, e.g. some random background character who mentions she has a wife. If they pack the show with constant references to gayness, it’s not homophobic, right? And yet there’s resistance towards making Villanelle and Eve’s relationship explicitly romantic. My guess is this was done (maybe at the request of the bbc?) to avoid being pigeonholed as a “gay show.” It’s the classic queerbaiting move of making it gay enough to get lgbt viewers, but ambiguous enough not to alienate people who might not watch it if it’s a “gay show.”

I’ve also noticed a consistent vagueness in how the cast and creatives talk about the relationship in interviews. Calling it undefinable, too complex to be a single thing, maybe it’s sexual but maybe it’s cosmic or maybe platonic, etc. It’s such a monumental relationship that it can’t possibly be labeled. That plays into the plausible deniability of whether or not it’s gay, to avoid scaring off any audiences, but I find it ESPECIALLY annoying because it feels insulting. They act like they’re doing us a favour by writing such an undefinably complex relationship — “it’s not just gay, it’s way more than that! (or maybe not gay at all who knows they transcend labels!)”

I also think they tried to maintain plausible deniability about Eve’s sexuality. The things she says to and about Villanelle are never explicitly romantic, but could be viewed as non romantic obsession. It could be argued that the bus kiss was only a distraction, and seducing Helene was for business reasons. The only sexual situation they’re in (the earpiece scene) involves Eve having sex with a man. I like these moments, but when that’s all we’re given until the very last episode of the show, it feels deliberate.

So that’s my thoughts on the show as a whole, now for season 4 specific stuff 🙃.

Season 4 throws away the central concept of the show — that Eve and Villanelle are ultimately similar and therefore uniquely understand each other. They grow towards each other, Villanelle enabling Eve to embrace her true nature as a morally grey thrill-seeker, while Eve awakens genuine emotions in Villanelle. Their relationship is weird and unconventional because they are weird and unconventional. They BOTH are — Eve definitely has Something Wrong With Her.

Instead, season 4 presents them as being innately different, with the implication that Eve is good and human while Villanelle is bad and inhuman. From Laura Neal’s interviews:

“Eve isn't a Villanelle. Villanelle isn't an Eve. They are not destined to become the same person. They are destined for different things. […]Eve is about seeking life at this moment, and Villanelle is about seeking destruction.”

“[Eve is at her happiest] amongst human beings, people like her, and she’s remembering what the world has to offer, what the normal world has to offer. And then Villanelle is in the place where she feels happiest, which is blood-soaked, steeped in killing.”

she goes on to describe Eve’s reaction to Villanelle’s death as a feeling of triumph, choosing life, and rebirth.

So to sum it up, a woman who believed herself to be straight was lured away from her husband and normal life by a murderous lesbian. The “straight” woman finally got away from the lesbian and got a new normal male partner. The lesbian lured her away again, and they had a romantic relationship for about six hours before the lesbian was shot to death. The “straight” woman felt triumphant rebirth, because she realised that she wanted a normal life all along. Plus, the lesbian has constantly questioned whether she was born broken or could change, and is ultimately is told she was born broken.

Is anybody else kind of annoyed by this??

The last thing I want to talk about is Pam, who is introduced this season as a foil to Villanelle. She’s a new assassin who is still morally good, feeling remorse for her kills and getting a nice boyfriend — very unlike Villanelle. Konstantin considers her a fresh start or do-over after Villanelle. At the end, she gets to walk away from the 12 and chooses good over evil, presumably reuniting with her boyfriend. But Villanelle, who has tried to leave the 12 over and over and kept getting pulled back in, and finally resolved to destroy them, gets killed without a happy ending. The good pure straight woman gets rewarded while the evil broken lesbian dies.

I hate to say this because it’s so corny, but Villanelle felt very important to me as representation. She’s so open and earnest about her love for women, which is something that I often find missing in fictional lesbians. Seeing such an iconic, funny, fashionable, evil character be openly a lesbian was incredible. I loved the show, though each season less than the one before, so I feel bad about complaining — but honestly it’s my gratitude towards this incredible representation that makes me annoyed with how it was handled by the final writer.

[suusoh]

Okayokayokay but why do i imagine Anna Liebert to be a different kind of unhinged from Johan. Idk why but i imagine her to be way more hands-on with the violence and less philosophical about the crazy stuff she does. Like Johan’s the nerd and she’s the jock in the family lmao

AND AND AND for some god forsaken reason she reminds me of villanelle from killing eve. Like a more toned down version for sure but definitely similar though i might be biased cause villanelle’s the only psycho lesbian i’ve obsessed over.

SHE IS UNHINGED!!! She is the result of both the red rose mansion AND some form of kinderheim.

Not to boil her down to just physical violence but like I definitely agree that she would be more "hands-on" per se. I'm just going with the dynamic in monster where Johan's battle is his mind, and Nina's battle was her training (aikido and shooting range). So it would make sense in a switched au, Johan being the protagonist will be about having to take down Anna using his smarts instead of his strenth.

I haven't watched killing eve yet but I definitely saw villanelle while I was searching up character inspirations for Anna, so I just know that you got something cooking up anon!

Other inspirations I have for Anna is Cassandra from Promising Young Woman, Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, and Satou Matsuzaka from happy sugar life.

(also i'd sprinkle in black widow just because the "red room" being the same as the "red rose mansion" is too good to pass up)

Also could you imagine, since in monster it's a psychological warfare story, if in this switch au, it becomes a physical warfare kinda story 💀 I'm talking out my ass right now but I just think Johan and Anna duking it out natasha vs yelena style would be sooo funny.

Anyways the Anna Liebert in my mind is definitely for the wlw girlies who love their evil women <3333 She is so obsessed over you. She had nothing to herself growing up: No agency, no love from their mama, no wholesome childhood, NOTHING. So you can bet she will get greedy and violent if she can't have you, this one thing that's completely and utterly hers.

[thevampirearchive]

There’s something I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the words till now. There is something that deeply upsets me about witnessing stories where villains, who are literal killers, fall in love and somehow become good or act outside of what is expected from them. I love love, love is beautfiul, it is powerful and it can truly change a lot. But to sit, and write a killer suddenly go "actually, this one can stay because I am in love for the first time" is such a weird concept to me. Is this happening because as a sociaty we're trying to convince ourselves that deeply disturbed people can be cured by the power of love? That if they just find the right person, they would stop the masacer? or at least no longer feel the need to kill how they were or at least let their person live? And I am not mad at the love, I do belive anyone can fall deeply in love, but my issue is with how it ends. I want to witness the unthinkable — I want to see is exactly what we expect but hoped won't happen, happening. A gut wrenching truth that stays true to who we have been witnessing, despite the "I can change them" dance. And perhaps people hate this idea because they want to belive that anyone can change if only they meet the right one, or that we can change the monsters in our lives with affection, but trust most likly is that they cannot be changed. And I can understand that to some this is then seen as an illusion. "oh then this was never true love", why can the two not exist? Do we not hurt those we love? Maybe not kill them, but someone elses hurt could feel like a small death to me, and vice versa.

Examples, so that you are not confused as to what I am reffering too;

Killing Eve; I stopped watching when Villanelle was shown shooting Eve. It felt true to her character, even if it hurt. She is a killer, we knew that and so did Eve. Regardless of her love, that was what was always going to happen so why were we given additional seaons of this fanatsy of a declawed Villanelle?

Hannibal; It should have ended with the death of Will, and possibly Hannibal consuming him. Didn't Hannibal say that the consumption of Will would somehow join them in a deeper way?Something so disturbing that only could make sense to a serial killing-cannibal. And I would have watched with wide eyes, and gone to sleep staring at the ceiling.

Interveiw With The Vampire; Louis' death in the hand of a Lestat would have made sense, and despite his dramatics, Lestat would have not committed suicide but instead burried himself in deep regret untill he was too numb to his own feelings that he could return to the world of the living. He would have never forgotten Louis, nor what he did, but he would have moved on beause Lestat is not a good person. He's deeply disturbed and Louis knew this. I don't even aknoclege that beatdown episode because Lestat may be a killer, but he's a drama queen first and formost. Louis' death would have been poetic, beautiful and grusom like a greek tragedy without an audiance.

Bonus - Twilight; I could not end without adding my own favorite, and despite this path never being teased to the audiance the same way the other's were, I would have loved the book simply ending because Edward did as he said he would - drained Bella like a Caprisun on a hot summer day. Because what is love agaisnt animalistic urgase (I understand why it is much hotter that he is simply so retsrained and devoted that he resists her, but I'd pay good money for an AU)

At the end of it all, I think want I want is for sociaty to get over the idea that a good woman, love or any form of kindness can change who some people are. Love can do many things - look at crimes of passion! And to some extend I belive that these villain's love were true, possibly not the way we imagine them - which is less so "I love you too" and more so, "wow, finally someone I can manipulate and obsess over. Someone who I can mold, someone who is alone in the world like me" only to realize that is not true.

So why do we make love into what it isnt? Even when the scene is set for us to be shown the truth, writers and the audiance always make the plot lean towards whatever fits so that we can have that "happy ending".

Honorable mentions;

God should have killed Lucifer, I know the bible and christianity is not technically fiction for all, but the idea that he is forgivin but lets the biggest meanness HE CREATED terrorize everybody is evil. Take him out or let somebody else do it homie.

[k-s-morgan]

Do you know any series similar to Hannibal? Cause you know he is so perfect I can’t find one.

Another ask: Hi hope u are ok what are Ur fav series and which series would u recommend that has like hannigram vibes into it

Thanks

--------

Hello! I don't think anything fills the Hannibal void, really, but there are some similar shows. Although most of them are so popular that you probably heard of them!

Interview with the Vampire is the latest creation. This and 'Hannibal' universes have a history of mutually inspiring one another, which makes it fascinating to watch both. IwtV features two co-dependent male characters in love; they are both monsters, but one is out and proud while another one is drowning in shame self-loathing. They have a surrogate daughter who's monstrous by herself, and they also share a tragedy. Darkness, possessiveness, mutually inflicted hurt, rich atmosphere - I'm very excited about IwtV.

Killing Eve, although I suggest watching without the last 5 minutes or so. Better stop at Eve and Villanelle hugging each other on the boat and the camera slowly floating away. This show is more light-hearted and entertaining: it features an actual psychopath who's obsessed with the FBI agent, who's in turn obsessed with her. I think their relationship is much shallower and they should have interacted way more, but it's still satisfying, and by the end, I finally believed they are in love.

Black Butler anime features a demon and his master who constantly play mind games with each other and other people. Both are killers, both are manipulative and smart, and they share an obsessive relationship.

There is the movie Let Us Prey that my friend recommended to me a long time ago, but I still haven’t watched it myself. It seems to fit the description, though.

As for my favorite series in general that would have at least something in common with Hannigram... Probably Xena: while my primary ship is Xena/Ares, Xena and Gabrielle are definite wives who kill bad people and who share a great dynamic that sometimes gets dark.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy/Spike is amazing. It's one of the most toxic but fascinating canon relationships I've seen, and the fact that they are the love of each other's life will never stop making me happy.

I'm a big fan of Merlin and Shadowhunters as both feature profound, beautiful, obsessive and co-dependent love, but they aren't really similar to Hannigram in any other respects. Supernatural and Destiel is also from this category: obsessive bond, two characters who struggle to live without each other and who are bad-asses, but they fight for good.

[hellsbroadcaster]

Not that I don’t think Alastor can’t be humanized but I don’t think that’s the mindset I want when it comes to my interpretation of him.

Like I do think he cares about the group, and about those he lets in but there’s always a limit.

There are things I wanna tap into when it comes to writing him to where it’s relatable but it’s scary to be relatable. He isn’t someone to idolize.

He is evil. He is an opportunist. Yes he’s funny, he’s charming, he’s entertaining. He’s got traits that make him easy to like, but he’s also a serial killer. And a lot of serial killers have these traits. It’s not really him.

I think what makes things hurt more, and at least for my portrayal is that he remains detached. He’s loyal to a fault. He’ll use whoever he needs to achieve his goal.

He is here for chaos. He wants raise hell. It’s fun.

One thing I liked about villanelle from killing eve that I really liked was when she talked about how life bored her.

“Most of the time, most days, I feel nothing. I don't feel anything. It is so boring. I wake up and I think, again, really? I have to do this again? And what I really don't understand is how come everyone else isn't screaming with, with boredom, too, and I try to find ways to make myself feel something. More, and more, and more, but it doesn't make any difference. No matter what I do, I don't feel anything. I hurt myself; it doesn't hurt. I buy what I want; I don't want it. I do what I like; I don't like it. I'm just so bored.”

This really resonated with me because I do feel like this sometimes. And I think it’s a scary thought to have. It’s a state I don’t want to get to. And it makes me think of Alastor.

How he goes through life. Yes he likely has trauma as a child, the abuse and racism he faced growing up.

But how it’s warped or shaped his mentality. He’s had to play a role, a part. Be something that people will like. How many times he forced a smile and inside he was screaming. His entire personality is an act.

The only time he’s ever been himself is when he’s holding a blade and stealing the light from someone’s eyes. It’s the only time he’s ever felt alive.

He has his passions, radio, jazz, drinking and dancing but it’s all just fillers. They don’t actually fulfill his need to kill, to feel.

It’s why I think he loves being in hell. Loves being a demon. He doesn’t have to hide his true nature like he had to as a human. He can be exactly as he wants.

Except now he’s hiding again. He’s not entirely free, he’s still chained down. His power is one hand tied behind his back.

And he will take that freedom over anything. And this is why I don’t think he can fully commit to the group. Because he is in it for himself. To get what he wants means he’ll likely have to turn his back on the others.

I talked about this with @videoaux because a lot of ppl think Vox was at fault for whatever their fallout was about but I honestly believe Alastor sabotaged it. Pushed Vox away, and turned his back on him. Because Vox is angry, rightfully angry and Alastor acting indifferent just shows me that Alastor doesn’t care how he’s hurt or upset Vox in the slightest.

And that’s in his nature. That’s who he is. You can’t be surprised when you get up getting fucked over by a demon. What were you thinking?

[wearevillaneve]

What we don't talk about in the KE fandom.

Easily one of the best deconstructions of the repulsive way Killing Eve destroyed the four seasons of goodwill it built up was written by Vulture essayist Angelica Jade-Bastien's "Killing Eve Chose Cruelty". In four words, Jade-Bastien captured why weeks after the last gruesome minutes of the show flickered away from the eyes of horrified viewers it continues to burn and sear into their minds.

The fourth installment to the series, but particularly its last two episodes, demonstrates how far the show has fallen from the dizzying heights of its premiere. Gone is the delicious fashion pivoting on moments of transformation in the manner of fairy tales. Gone is the supremely precise characterization, replaced with a confused internal logic that jockeys the characters according to the needs of its threadbare espionage plotting. Gone is the spry presentation, achieved through blocking, editing, and costume and production design. But most important, gone is the tense cat-and-mouse game between Villanelle (Comer) and Eve (Oh) that acted as the engine. Killing Eve is a study in how jumping from different showrunners each season can leave a series without a profound singular voice — and it is evidence that a shallow understanding of representation and the female gaze isn’t enough to create a memorably good, cohesive story that gives a damn about the women onscreen. It amounted to a finale that gave once perpetually ravenous viewers a paltry version of what they wanted before snatching even that away.

Read the entire essay and it makes you feel better about the nonsensical trash Laura Neal dreamed up one night over too much cheap beer. Jade-Bastien brings up the one problem that predates Neal and the KE fandom hasn't talked about nearly enough.

This is a topic that many in Killing Eve's non-White fandom are well aware of, yet many of their White peers are oblivious to. Racism? In my favorite show? How could that be? Real easy.

The obvious and overt racism of Donald Trump or Kanye West is in your face and it can't be easily ignored. The soft, but pernicious bigotry practiced by the KE writers' room was manifested by keeping Eve an enigma from beginning to end. She was never given a family or life outside of her job, marriage, and the obsession with Villanelle that cost her everything. It's an irritation to know less about Eve than we do about Gemma, Geraldine, or Pam, but that's where we are. Eve was an enigma because she was never written to be anything else. A decision was made by someone to ensure nothing more than the bare minimum would ever be known about Eve. She was given a name and the bare bones of a backstory, and that's all.

For many in the KE fandom the Villanelle solo episode is their absolute favorite. It's one of my least favorites because it made erasing Eve official as Villanelle forgets all about her and so much so in "End of Game" even her name isn't uttered.

KONSTANTIN: I don't think you really want this.

VILLANELLE: I want it!

KONSTANTIN: You know what it means? It means you have to leave everything, the clothes, apartment… and her.

VILLANELLE: I know.

"...and her." "Her" has a name and it is Eve, but to Heathcote that wasn't important. That was a disservice to Sandra Oh, the actress who brought Eve Polastri to life even though she was not allowed to be more than a one-dimensional cut-out of a character. Remember Oh was one of the two stars of the show. This was one of those rare occasions where the titular lead character gets less fleshed out than multiple supporting ones.

That's not accidental. It was deliberate and it robbed Eve of her agency and autonomy. She really was little more than "an Asian woman with amazing hair." Eve was the lone woman of color constantly reacting in a world of Whiteness. Phoebe Waller-Bridge boldly chose to be colorblind in casting Sandra Oh as the very British and very White Eve Polastri and deserves all the credit in the world for it. Unfortunately, when she left she didn't leave any instructions to her successors on what to do with Eve, so they all chose to do nothing. After the show ended some sought to scapegoat Sandra Oh for the lousy last season stating as an executive producer she must have approved the direction the show went when Suzanne Heathcote and Laura Neal became the lead writers. Nobody knows how much input Oh had into the writer's room, but if she did that means she went along with a noticeable drop in screen time and the complete absence of a backstory for Eve. It's hard to believe any actor would deliberately reduce their own role in just the third season of a show, but that's exactly what some KE fans believe Oh did. They're the same ones who say Villanelle needed a stand-alone episode to explore her history, but have no issue with Eve being devoid of a past. This isn't racism in the Killing Eve fandom. Most of the fans don't show up that way. What they do instead is fail to notice how little Eve there frequently is in Killing Eve. It's not necessarily racism, which is bad, but it is erasure, which isn't good.

[haereticus]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 ...

𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝… 【 nana komatsu //. demi woman //. she/they 】 welcome, ONO KATSUKI. you have successfully been loaded into THE HUB. according to our records, you are THIRTY YEARS OLD and have held citizenship for TEN YEARS in the barrier city, neo california. your key attributes have been identified as AMBITIOUS and RECALCITRANT. please confirm your CHAOTIC EVIL status to proceed. our data indicates that you are currently employed with COWBOYS AS A BOUNTY HUNTER. for your safety and security, it is crucial that all background information is accurate. further analysis of our archives highlights your alignment with SIMMER BY HAYLEY WILLIAMS. ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ verification 100% complete. please adhere to all local regulations and laws during your stay. we trust that your time here will be both fulfilling and safe.

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

full name. ono katsuki. nickname(s). suki. gender & pronouns. demi woman & she/they. date of birth. february 28, 2115. age. thirty. hometown. tokyo. current residence. neo california. nationality. japanese. occupation. bounty hunter. affiliation. cowboys / herself. languages. english, japanese, mandarin, french. education. high school diploma + bachelor degree in history.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

positive traits. ambitious, analytical, curious, perceptive, steadfast. negative traits. recalcitrant, impatient, cruel, impetuous, unhinged. mbti. istp-a ( the virtuoso ). enneagram. type four ( the individualist ). moral alignment. chaotic evil. deadly sin. pride. heavenly virtue. diligence. western zodiac. libra. parallels. misty quigley, yellowjackets / villanelle, killing eve / jian-yang, silicon valley / loki, marvel cinematic universe / april ludgate, parks and recreation / harley quinn, dc comics / o-ren ishii, kill bill / lila pitts, the umbrella academy.

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘.

tw: murder, parental death, matricide, violence, guns

You were not always this way. You were not always a snake in the grass, waiting to strike. You did not always have poison dripping from your fangs, coating your tongue. You did not always have blood under your fingernails or fire in your veins. Once upon a time, you’d been gentle, soft, even kind – though this version of you is long dead and buried. Gutted and strung up as a warning to all those who think they can carry goodness and light with them as they plunge into the dark. They were killed and replaced with something far more wicked. They were killed and replaced with you.

You are the first, and only, child of Kenji and Akari – a pair of bright-eyed young lovers who had met in the barrier city of TOKYO. You don’t remember much of them, these days – but you remember that they were sweet and genuine and kind. And that you were so, so deeply loved. You thought they were superheroes, good samaritans, and you thought they were invincible. Of course, like so many childhood fantasies – you would soon be proven wrong about all of the above.

No children ever truly know their parents, do they? After all, they had lived entire lives before you were anything more than a measly bundle of cells. How were you supposed to know that the life you led was a carefully orchestrated lie? How were you supposed to know that they had wrapped you in cotton wool to protect you from their barbs? How were you supposed to know that they only reason they could afford the life they led – ballet classes, violin lessons, plush furniture and private schooling – but because of their association with the gokudō.

They were not major players, by any means. No, they had been pencil-pushers – accountants, of all things, for a small clan – barely important enough to be on the map. Just important enough, unfortunately, to put them in the crosshairs of the SŌWAKATSU-KAI. You are seven years old, and they are hiding you in a cupboard beneath the stairs and telling you to be quiet. You think it’s a game – so you stay hidden. You stay hidden, even after you hear two gunshots. You stay hidden, even after you hear heavy footfalls retreating. Even as your parents’ blood begins to seep beneath the door of your hiding place. Your parents die, and so does your childhood.

ONO ASAMI is the one who finds you. You do not know that this is her name at the time – all you know is that she is a pair of soft hands on your shoulders. A comforting presence looming over you. She takes you in her arms and escorts you from the house – hands covering your eyes so that you don’t see the Sōwakatsu-kai’s cleaners diligently scrubbing your parents’ blood from the floor. Asami tells you that everything is going to be okay – and so you believe her. After all, you are seven years old. Your parents are dead. You have been ripped from the safety of your bubble in the most brutal way imaginable. 

Your life, naturally, changes after this event. Asami is gifted in many things – not the least of which is the ability to lie. She recounts a vastly different tale of your parents’ demise – pinning the crime on a rival gokudō clan. She explains that only the Sōwakatsu-kai are good and right and decent, and that their enemies are vicious and evil and wrong. You believe her, because you are seven years old. You believe her, because she rescued you from certain death. Whoever killed your parents would soon have come back, if Asami had not overheard the gunshots and rushed to your aid. You would certainly be dead, if Asami had not been grateful enough to take you in.

Asami does not raise you in the way your parents had intended. No, she does not believe in wrapping you safely in a bubble – she does not believe in hiding you from the horrors of the big, scary world. So, instead of treating you as though you were made of glass, she treats you as though you are made of steel. The atrocities of the world aren’t going away, so it’s better that you learn to confront them. She teaches you that to survive means to adapt, to kill. She teaches you to fight – each night after school is spent training in martial arts, in weaponry, in the subtle, graceful art of the kill. Maybe this is love, but it is not the kind of love you can recognise.

By the time you reach adulthood, your innocence has given way to savagery. You have seen the way the Sōwakatsu-kai work, the path that has been laid out for you by the woman you now call mother – and it is beautiful. You are no longer a girl, you are a weapon. No, you are the weapon – quiet and elegant and brutal and, most importantly, blindly obedient. You are the viper of the Sōwakatsu-kai – a venomous serpent with no purpose but to kill. You are far more deadly than any weapon that has come before you – you will settle for nothing less than becoming the ultimate killer of man. Your ascent is all but guaranteed – you and Asami are relocated to AMERICA as she is promoted to WAKAGASHIRA. You are both feared and revered, a clear path towards leadership is carved out in front of you. 

It is HANEUL SEON who throws a cat amongst the pigeons. He ranks below your mother – a wretched man desperately clawing for power. Wretched, yes, but also exceptionally clever. Evidence is placed in your hands – decades-old photographs of bloodied corpses and an all-too familiar house. Case notes and paper trails and at the end of it all – ONO ASAMI. Your adoptive mother stands above the bodies of your parents – pist0l in hand and same vindictive grin you have become familiar with adorning her face. You feel sick at the realization. That all you have come to believe is a lie – that Asami is not good, or right, or just. That the Sōwakatsu-kai were the ones who ordered the hit on your parents. That the woman you call mother is the one who carried it out. 

You will not pretend to know why Asami decided not to kill you. You will also not pretend to understand why she took you in, raised you as her own, and fed you lies for close to two decades. She must have had her reasons – Ono Asami is nothing if not meticulous. And yet, she made one crucial error. She had raised you in her own image, crafting a monster. A killer. The only one capable of destroying her as thoroughly as she destroyed others. You do not kill her with poison, or blades, or fists. No, you go about things the old-fashioned way. You kill Asami the same way she had killed your parents – a clean bullet between the eyes. For someone so clever, she fails to see it coming.

You clean the gun and dispose of it as she had once taught you. You leave no trace behind, and her murder is attributed to a rival gang. Only you know the truth – that she had destroyed herself. She had raised her own murderer and let you into her home to pull the trigger. No guilt weighs on your chest – in fact, you feel lighter than ever. You leave the Sōwakatsu-kai without much fanfare – unwilling to devote yourself further to the organization that had killed your parents and destroyed your innocence. 

Instead, you go out on your own – your only discernible skill is violence, but in Neo California, this is an asset. You gain your license as a BOUNTY HUNTER, and quickly gain notoriety. You are brutal, and you are cruel, but you are also neat and meticulous. You carry out hit after hit without mercy, washing blood from your hands as though it were simple grime. You feel no empathy, no remorse – only a sick satisfaction at a job well done, just as your mother had taught you. You are a beast that has been unchained – set free of your bubble and your shackles for the first time in your life.

[juniperhillpatient]

I finished Yellowjackets and I already miss it! Any recs for what to watch to fill the void?

Omg I feel you every day of my life I miss Yellowjackets I wish I could watch it all for the first time again 😭

I don’t really watch that many shows so I’m terrible with recommending stuff 😅

If you want more depravity & complicated awful female villains & anti heroes with complex toxic sapphic dynamics Hostel 2 is my go to but you do have to watch the first one to understand it & I love the first one myself but it is very man heavy with characters lol

If you are really wanting to lean more into the messed up flesh consuming homoerotic codependent sapphic dynamic aspect specifically I’d recommend Ginger Snaps or Jennifer’s Body the main canon sapphic female relationships in both those movies are brain rotting in similar ways to JackieShauna. (Though Ginger Snaps gets incestuous so I know that’s as quick for a lot of people tread carefully)

Ooh as far as TV shows go you’d probably enjoy Killing Eve if you like Yellowjackets although that one the writing really goes downhill pretty badly so I do hesitate to recommend it unless you’re in it for the parts that are worth it & prepared for disappoint down the line…. Ugh but Eve & Villanelle are SUCH amazing characters!!

Dead to Me is another show that’s really good & far less depraved & more drama centric than the other stuff I’ve mentioned. However in my opinion the writing does go downhill but the first 2 seasons? Iconic. Not canonically gay like the other things I’ve mentioned but still a delicious dynamic between two complicated & somewhat crazy women.

Not in the same genre as my other recs but Bottoms is a great comedic movie if you just want crazy & sort of awful lesbians.

Oh —- ok last 3 recommendations. These ones don’t necessarily have the toxic crazy sapphic girlies element of YJ that I just assume is a big part of the draw (it is for me lol) HOWEVER they are some of my faves -

Hannibal. I love this show. It’s art. I don’t have anything else to say that hasn’t been said meow articulately by more hardcore fans. I watched this entire show in a fever haze when I had Covid so that probably affects my analytical ability but I promise it’s great. It’s also a little man heavy & the female characters could be… done better sometimes so that is a criticism I have that keeps it from being a number one fave for me but Hannibal & Will are VERY compelling & the plot & visuals are soooo good.

Scream mtv I honestly feel like you’ve seen this one I’m pretty sure but it’s a fave of all time & Emma/Audrey is one of my fave ships of all time. Excellent cast excellent writing it’s so good.

Bates Motel. This show is so slept on in fandom & it’s probably the best horror tv I’ve ever seen from start to finish it tells an amazingly cohesive prequel backstory for one of the most iconic villains of all time in a way that honors the book & film both of which I LOVE & somehow manages to stay fresh & shocking & exciting despite the audience knowing where it’s going. For quality horror tv I can’t recommend this show highly enough it’s honestly the best thing on this list on an objective level like the cinematography the fantastic acting from Vera Farmiga & Freddy Highmore especially but also Max Theriot & Olivia Cookie I just - I LOVE this show. Heavy heavy trigger warning though not just for incest which is inherent to a Psycho prequel but like…. Everything you could ever need a trigger warning for. There is a significant amount of SA shown so yeah be careful.

Anyway there you go you’ve probably seen a lot of the stuff on this list but this is what I could think of to watch next to somewhat keep the mood of Yellowjackets although of course we both know YJ is unique enough you’re never going to recapture that exact vibe 😉

If anyone else has recommendations also I’d also be curious! ❤️

Oh wait last thing my best friend Juliet Lewis plays another iconic traumatized girly with maybe worse daddy issues than Natalie even in Natural Born Killers. This is one of my favorite movies but it is NOT for everyone. You are signing up for unapologetic depravity & sympathetic serial killer villain main characters with a toxic relationship. Now for me those are selling points but it is a very messed up movie so yeah. Trigger warning for SA incest & basically every dynamic in the movie being the definition of toxic.

Okay that’s off the top of my head for watching after YJ I’m done now lol 🫶

****Edit I’m listening to music on my porch as I play on tumblr & I Know the End by my best friend Phoebe Bridgers came on & I remembered to recommend School Spirits it’s not exactly the same horror vibes of YJ but I just think you’d like it because it’s a delightfully creepy compelling & fun ghost story / mystery with absolutely wonderful characters fun cinematography exciting lore a good plot & a banger soundtrack ok I’m done now lmao go watch School Spirits it’s so great